#i'm not trying to be woke
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Rebecca Liu for Another Gaze, The Making Of A Millennial Woman
photo by @/sicks6_ on instagram
#as a white woman who has been trying to write a novel about her own experience i feel guilty of this#and yes you write about yourself. you write about what you know. that is where authenticity is#and it can never be wrong cause those are your feelings and your experiences#i'm not trying to be woke#but this article made me think#femininity#manic pixie dream girl#sad girl#sad hot girl books#cinnamon girl#pretty when i cry#literature#television#media#male gaze#feminism#Millennials#girl interrupted#girlhood#empower women#mine#fleabag#sally rooney#normal people#otessa moshfegh#my year of rest and relaxation
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everyone else: haha The Summoning sexy
me: The Summoning's "raise me up again" is in direct contrast to Drag Me Under's "drag me under again" and shows an immense amount of growth between the two points in the narrative, for him to go from singing "drag me [...] deep into your love" to "take me past the edge / I want to see the other side" shows that he no longer wishes to drown and wallow in the toxicity of this situation and now wants to move past it and see what lies beyond and in this essay I will-
#rae.txt#sleep token#this is only a joke in the sense that i know i'm not the only one who considers the summoning a serious part of the narrative#and not just The Sexy Song#i just feel like not a lot of people appreciate drag me under#i am trying so hard to finish my analysis/interpretation of One but i keep getting distracted by Sundowning lmao#wait till y'all hear my thoughts on the sequence of give -> gods -> sugar -> say that you will#sundowning my beloved#sorry for the random unhinged 6am thoughts i woke up insane today
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If I want to get better at art I need to try new things if I want to be better at art I need to try new things if I want to be better at art I need-
#i found a csp brush that i think is about to be my best friend#dragon age veilguard#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#da4#bellara#bellara lutara#my art#art#I dont think I got the light right on the scarf and I blended it weird by the earring#But I'm getting there! I'm getting there!#I don't like the way I sell shade things so maybe this will be okay??#Whistles off into the distance#Morrigan get over here we're going to try something#I woke up at 8am and started on this... It's almost 7pm now.... girlies I am dehydrated
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You know what, Tracer wearing the Deku skin is even funnier to me remembering that Horikoshi drew Deku, his own character now, wearing Miruko's costume for the Year of the Rabbit sketch.
#which I still standby he wore it better than everyone else official and fanart included (except miruko)#BECAUSE HE EMBRACED IT#to be honest as i said before i don't think tracer looks that bad as deku#just the details is what got me and i realized what it is... the hair is just plain green should have had black and green#but I'm not throwing a fit about it since again i don't know shit about overwatch#and someone pointed out to me that tracer is like the face of overwatch so makes since she is deku#people are going to buy the skin anyways let's be real#and there should be more female characters with a male skin and vice versa just for the fun of it#and not for some 'woke agenda' some people are trying to make it to be#like stop trying to turn something isn't a bigger issue that it isn't it's stupid#like sometimes it's just for fun like damn#just kiya's thoughts#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#midoriya izuku#izuku midoriya#deku
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AU where Lucifer went down to New Orleans sometime between 1900 and 1910, right in the middle of Mardi Gras. Charlie was about 100ish at this time, and while Lucifer and Lilith were still together, there was a growing emotional distance between them that had been going on for a few decades at this point. Lucifer's just trying to have some fun and forget his worries for a little while, and he does. And he meets a nice lady. A very nice Creole woman who makes a mean pot of jambalaya with a kick right out of hell. They hit it off and spend the majority of the celebration together.
They get drunk. Very drunk. Lucifer doesn't remember most of that night. The woman, Nicaise, is pregnant.
By some quirk of genetics, the child comes out indistinguishable from a normal human, if significantly paler than his dark-skinned mother. Growing up, Nicaise always tells her son that his daddy was an angel, but all the boy sees is that his father abandoned him and his mother in a world that doesn't look kindly on black women or single mothers. He watches his mother struggle, he watches her suffer, and he grows up resenting and hating the men who make her life hell. Especially his father.
#random thoughts#Hazbin Hotel#the Devil's Bastard AU#Hazbin Hotel AU#crack AU#Lucifer Morningstar#Alastor's Mother#Alastor#does Alastor figure out Lucifer's his dad? maybe. maybe not.#'you walked out on me and my mom so I will parent my older sister better than you' just seems like such a funny premise for an au#I went with the name 'Nicaise' because it means something along the lines of 'victorious' and it seemed like a good match with Alastor#Lucifer tastes some of Alastor's jambalaya and suddenly he KNOWS#to be clear I'm not trying to make Lucifer OR Nicaise a bad guy here#Nicaise didn't know he was married#Lucifer got very very wasted and didn't really know what he was doing#he probably woke up on top of somebody's roof before he went home to Lilith and Charlie
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#pete wentz#pw#fall out boy#tourdust reruns#brain woke up and said how about we feel SAD today we haven't been sad in a while#so I'm trying to get the chemistry balanced with happy memories#fobseattle
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#today was my first day back at work since I took a week-long vacation and I completely forgot to take my medication since I woke up so early#it was really rough I'm not going to lie#but I'm home now and I'm trying to muster up the willpower to clean#I promise I'll make more resource posts soon I just haven't yet idk#i get really stressed about them becuase I don't want to get anything wrong or give bad advice#anyways#userbox#tw medication#jiraiblr#landmineblr#jirai kei#landmine kei#jirai#landmine type#pien kei#jirai girl#jiraikei#tw pills
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Here's all the big boy transparent Alien Stage artwork that I've done! I used a bit of a different method while making these, so they look much better than the last batch I did. I'm uploading these so that people can use them, so have fun!
#alien stage#alnst#alnst sua#alnst mizi#alnst till#alnst ivan#alnst hyuna#alnst luka#I did all of these today btw. Woke up at around 4 am and have been doing these consistenly the whole time expect for--#small breaks or quick chores that needed doing.#Please forgive the brown tips on Luka's hair. I could go back and try fixing it but I'm not feeling up to it.
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If Killer has a stuffed friend, I think all the others should have one too *gifts plushies to all the boys*. I hope these at least help you guys feel better while you recover! :)
Nightmare: …cute.
Horror: ah, thank you Background text: 20% off Background text: hfdjk Background text: please pretend i drew- Background text: -food on the shelves
Dust: snrk… it's baby sized. Cross, amused: you're holding it like a child too. Dust: i'm naming xem Bismuth Technetium Hydrogen Dust's shirt: bone hurting juice Cross's shirt: GAY (in the colors of the aromantic flag)
Cross: !
#nightmare sans#horror sans#dust sans#cross sans#injury#<- they're actually scars but they look like injuries#Nightmare looks bored/upset but he just woke up i swear#lil guy is eepy#Horror on a mission all by himself without telling anyone i'm sure nothing will go wrong :D#Dust and Cross are in Killer's room i just didn't feel like drawing the stupid bed#i can't draw raised eyebrows on Cross anymore because of the giant scar nooo#also can you tell i do NOT know how to draw the bottom half of stuffed animals#i just can not and refuse to try tbh#for the record the plushies that Nightmare and Horror got are the same size#i can't tell if the bone hurting juice shirt is funnier on Cross or Dust#queue
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Ive been seriously considering doing some sort of comic about the events of my life as of late and I want folks to understand that despite the serious nature of the last 2 months, THIS is the energy I'm going for.
THIS is me
#dumb babbles#dumb doodles#Mama was napping and I was trying to get a snack and she woke up when I was clicking the Tupperware closed and saw that#This would be The Style of said comic ok? I'm not overdoing it#I made the nurses cookies. The nurses have not eaten the cookies. So obviously I MUST eat the cookies you see
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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Big mistake to go into a career that is 50% reading contracts, when sometimes, the very sight of a contract makes me physically ill.
#though to be honest I think I'm just....burnt out. the last couple weeks have felt like I'm dragging myself from day to day#I literally read 4 books yesterday trying to essentially over-stimulate my brain into getting something done#I woke up at 5am this morning! I will wake up at 5am tomorrow too!#I need a vacation very badly and I'm not even going to plan anything for this one. just quietly sit at home.#sleep past 5am! the dream.#no wonder the company has to secretly manipulate you
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Chandler bing was the first of many for me. The first of many characters that make up a chunk of my personality. The first of many characters that would become my favorite but none quite as beloved. Chandler made me want to be funny, showed me that humor and silliness would endear me to people. That jokes and sarcasm would make up for the awkwardness and insecurity and self doubt. Chandler bing has been a friend and a source of comfort for nearly 20 years in my life, hundreds of episodes replayed hundreds of times. The first character I was ever emotionally attached to.
Matthew Perry has singlehandedly made me laugh more than anyone else in my life, real or fictional and for that, I'll always be grateful. Celebrity deaths are not something I ever thought would affect me personally, but I guess there's a first time for everything huh
Rip Matthew. Rest easy
#chandler bing#I literally just woke up good God#matthew perry#f.r.i.e.n.d.s#I can't even I'm sitting here trying to process this wtf
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I just want my passion back man idk why that's so much to ask for
#pom ponders#personal#my favorite part of the day used to be any extra time i had to write#i desperately miss the days where i woke up early all on my own excited because it meant extra time to write#now even just thinking about writing can make me so tired and drained#i can't write anymore and I'm so upset about it#I've spent the last four months sobbing because it's basically ruined for me#i was so happy...i want it back#i still have stories to tell and i love them so much#but trying to get them out has turned into a chore and i feel like I've lost a part of myself#some days i feel so sick over it that i can barely eat#I've lost so much sleep over this#it's not fair...i didn't do anything wrong...#I'm still being punished for doing what was ultimately the right thing and i don't understand#i want to want to write again#delete later
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I had a dream that the next Digital Circus episode (4) was the fast food service plot and Ragatha and Pomni were busy frantically cleaning up something in the back (something got stuck on Ragatha's hair) then Pomni hears a voice of someone wanting to order something in the front and it's Gummigoo and his two friends because as Ragatha said, NPCs get reused and Pomni is just petrified.
Then he exploded again for some reason.
#I subconsciously groaned cuz I thought that was the new 'running gag' and I didn't like it#then I woke up#but yeah that was wild lmao#pomni trying to get something out of a frantic Ragatha's hair#and then hears a voice go 'oy can ya helps us out'#and it's gummigoo with his mates#then i just had FunnyGummy thoughts all day help#anyway I know this won't happen but I'm excited for the new ep regardless#the amazing digital circus#tadc#tadc pomni#tadc ragatha#tadc gummigoo#tadc gummy gators
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hot d s2 is like star wars the last jedi in that there are plenty of valid complaints to make but that valid crit is way overshadowed by nutbar fans making offensive or just downright dumb complaints. difference is the sw original canon trilogy (and even the force awakens) is better media than fire and blood ever was, which makes that whole line of complaint even more annoying imo. i can't like one legit post about the absence of nettles without seeing 10 other complaints i want nothing to do with.
#house of the dragon#i'm not just thinking the too much diversity and needless woke rep by making rhaenyra kiss a woman#and book rhaenyra was a real woman who didnt need a sword to feel strong crowd#but also people being all oh ig we wont see aegon taking aemond's stag betrothal to try to father a new heir#(um a marriage that never happened is not an important story element imo)#and someone saying we spent so little time w cregan the audience won't recognize him later and the hour of the wolf will come out of nowher#(um that's what previously on is for they'll know him by the wolf sigils and people calling him lord stark tom taylor is in his 20s#not a child so hes unlikely to look like a whole new person in a few years)#hot d meta#fandumb w@nkery#(c)lsb
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