#i'm not sure she'd forgive him for seeing her back

[opbackgrounds]

With the power of retrospect, we know that Kuma was trying to help the Straw Hat Pirates and sent the specifically to places where they could improve and get stronger.

With that in mind, imagine how this interaction changes if Hancock read the newspaper

[youunravelme]

this is how you fall in love

author's note: let it be known, i've never been to jfk airport, and it probably shows. sue me. also sorry this took SO FUCKING LONG to write. it lowkey put me in a writing slump because it's just a monster but i hope you can forgive me. this fic is literally 18,952 words long, so i apologize in advance.

pairing: mat barzal x reader

summary: when confronted with the idea of going home without a date, you lie and say you have a boyfriend. which would be fine, except you haven't dated anyone seriously in a year. so instead of facing the ridicule of your family, you ask mat.

warnings: cursing (this is a given at this point), mean girl behavior?

you weren't quite sure why you said it.

actually.

scratch that.

you were 1000 percent sure why you said it.

you could not, would not be the family embarrassment yet again.

if you got one more wedding invitation in the mail, you were going to scream. you were happy for all your college friends, really, you were, but it was the presence of this one particular wedding invitation from your cousin angela that had you seething.

mainly because it was accompanied by a phone call from your mother.

"i told angela that she didn't need to put a plus one down for you, but she insisted. so don't feel bad if you don't have someone, sweetheart. plenty of people are still single at your age."

maybe it was the irritation at your mother's condescension, or the exhaustion from being the butt of every family joke for the past five years, that had you saying something you wish you could take back.

"i do have someone, mom!"

her scoff resonated through the speaker. "honey, you don't have to lie--"

"i'm not lying! it's mat!"

the pause that followed your white lie was louder than the new york city streets just outside your apartment.

"your friend, mat? you told me you'd never see him that way!" she accused.

you shrugged, despite her not seeing you. and thank goodness for that, she'd immediately know you were lying if she could see your face. "something just clicked."

"how long has this been going on?"

"a few months."

"and you never told us?"

"we wanted to keep it lowkey until we knew this was something real."

your mom hummed but seemed appeased. "well, i can't wait to meet him. you are coming down a week early, right?"

in hindsight, you should've told mat immediately instead of postponing it until two weeks before you had to leave. but he was out of town for games, then you had a work trip, and then time slipped away from you.

but there was nothing you and a tub of bubblegum ice cream couldn't accomplish together.

at least in matters of mathew barzal.

he answered the door a few seconds after you knocked. a smile overtook his face until his eyes dropped down to the ice cream in your hands.

"what do you need?" he asked with a quirked brow.

"who says i need something?" you blinked in what you hoped was an innocent manner.

mat sighed and opened the door wide enough for you to come in. "because you have ice cream, and you showed up at my door unannounced." but he took the ice cream from your hands anyway. "how'd you even know i was home?"

you shrugged and plopped onto his couch. "i checked your location."

mat blinked. "you have my location? since when?"

you rolled your eyes. "you make me sound like a stalker, you made me share my location with you when i was out drinking with my coworkers and i demanded to have yours as well."

you didn't get to see mat's face because he was walking into his kitchen to put the ice cream away.

"so why are you here?" he asked once he returned.

"can't i just come over and visit my best friend?"

mat blinked. "no. you want something. what is it?"

you threw yourself back into the couch cushions and groaned, tossing an arm over your eyes. "you're not allowed to judge me."

"well that doesn't sound fun."

"mat, i'm serious, okay? i got myself into some shit and you're the only one i trust to help me out."

you felt the couch cushions sink next to you. a hand removed your arm from your face. "are you safe?" he asked. "are you in trouble? do we need to get the police involved?"

you looked at the concern on his face and sat up immediately. "no! no no no no no! it's not like that, i just happened to lie to my mom and need your help."

"why would you need my help to lie to your mom? you're not making any sense."

you took a deep breath and squeezed your eyes shut. "i told my mom we were dating so i had someone to bring to my cousin's wedding."

a pause, followed by mat's obnoxious laughter.

"you told your mom we're dating?" he choked out between cackles. "how did you manage not to vomit after saying that?"

you rolled your eyes at his barbs. "you were the first person to come to mind! what else should i have done?"

"jeez i don't know, told the truth?"

you flopped back onto the couch again. "no, mat, you don't understand. you didn't hear how she was talking to me! 'plenty of people are still single at your age!' i mean the gall of that woman!"

mat laughed again. "'gall?'"

"yes, mat, some of us use words bigger than a fifth grader's vocabulary."

"careful, that's no way to talk to your boyfriend, now is it?"

you scoffed. "boyfriend? are you--" then it hit you. "you'll do it? you'll be the fake love of my life?" you jumped off the couch.

mat smiled and leaned back into the cushions. "ask nicely."

you rolled your eyes but a smile was already pulling at your lips. "mathew michael paul barzal, will you please be my boyfriend?"

he crossed his hands behind his head and smirked. "calm down, you don't have to beg."

"i would throw something at you, but you're already doing me such a huge favor."

"you owe me one," he smirked.

oh, you'd owe him big.

one week till going home

"okay, so how did we meet?" you and mat were seated at a booth in a coffee shop the both of you liked to frequent.

"no need to reinvent the wheel," he said. "let's just tell them the truth."

"that we met at a bar through mutual friends? that's so unromantic!"

mat rolled his eyes. "we're not a fucking rom com, sweetheart. we're lying to your family and being as honest as possible makes the lying look more convincing."

you sighed and sat back in your seat. honestly, you had no reason to be frustrated. mat was doing you a favor, not the other way around. and with it being the offseason, it wasn't lost on you how much mat was giving up to play house with you. he could be visiting his own family instead of lying to yours.

yet here he was, sitting across from you with his disgusting black coffee.

you must've been staring at his cup because he snapped his fingers in your face. "what? what're you staring at?"

your face twisted in disgust. "can't believe you like that shit. no cream or sugar?"

mat eyed the frappuccino nestled in your hands. "i'm sorry, i didn't realize milkshakes qualify as coffee nowadays."

"you're just mad that my drink tastes good."

mat rolled his eyes. "keep telling yourself that."

you looked down at your phone at your notes app agenda. you deleted the intricate backstory bullet point and moved onto bullet point number two.

"okay, how long have we been dating?"

mat blinked. "you're the liar, you tell me."

god, why were you friends with him in the first place?

"i told my mom we've been together for a few months but i'm not sure what constitutes a few."

mat shrugged. "let's say we got together around the time of my injury when you nursed me back to health and realized how handsome i was."

you rolled your eyes, but wrote it down in your notes app anyway. "okay so where was our first date?"

"am i the one who has to answer all of these questions? who says we even need all of this? it's not like they're gonna lock us in a room and interrogate us separately."

"my brother would say otherwise." mat gestured for you to go on. "when we met his girlfriend, my family immediately separated them so they could bombard them with questions. but since everyone will be focused on my cousin's wedding, we should be good."

"who should i be worried about?"

you thought for a moment, in your opinion, your entire family was a concern in terms of introducing them to mat.

there was your brother, who could be an ass in a heartbeat; though, when you thought about it, he'd probably just leave the two of you alone.

your dad and mom would probably ask a few questions. your grandmother would probably be too busy trying to stuff her cooking down his throat to really pose a problem.

if you were being honest, you were concerned about your cousin, angela.

she wasn't what you would call a "girl's girl." throughout your childhood, it was like she was competing against you in a competition you didn't want to be in. who had the bigger birthday, the most friends, the most boyfriends, the bigger house, the better car, the better college.

it used to bother you more when you were younger. the way she'd flirt with your boyfriends or bribe your friends to hang out with her. it was made worse by the enabling of your parents and aunt.

"just keep an eye out for angela," was all you said.

mat's brow furrowed. "your cousin? why?"

you'd never fully told him about your less than perfect relationship with her, but considering the two of you were in a public setting and he wasn't your therapist? you kept that information to yourself and just shrugged.

"we don't have the best relationship."

mat seemed to understand you didn't want to speak on it anymore so he nodded and gestured to your phone. "is your phone ready to be seen by your family?"

"i'm sorry, what? why would my family go through my phone?"

"they'll at least want to see that i'm your lock screen, you're mine, after all."

"i am not." but mat held up his phone and sure enough it was a picture of you and him after one of his games, wearing his jersey with your arms wrapped around his waist. "you're shitting me, why?"

mat shrugged and locked his phone, placing it down on the table. "i looked good in the photo."

you wanted to call bullshit, but he was already doing you a favor, so you let it go.

"fine," you said. "i'll change my lock screen." you scrolled through your photos until you found one you liked.

"can i see it?" he asked.

you immediately held your phone to your chest. "no!"

"i showed you mine!"

"that sounds like a you problem!"

"but it's not fair!" he whined.

"life's not fair, barzy."

he rolled his eyes but dropped the subject, knowing full well he could make you show him just by bringing up the favor he was doing for you. but for some reason, he decided to let it go.

"anything else?" mat asked before checking his watch.

you looked down at your notes app and couldn't find a reason to get him to stay. "no, i think that's it. why, do you have somewhere to be?"

he shrugged. "just meeting up with a couple of my teammates."

"during the offseason? don't you get enough of each other during the regular season?"

"sure, but we miss each other sometimes. i mean we go from seeing all the time to nothing. plus you got me staying in the city a little longer than normal."

you rolled your eyes. "you didn't have to say yes."

but he smiled anyway. "i know." he stood up from the table and knocked on it once. "text me the dates of travel this week so i can put them on my calendar. i'll get the plane tickets. let me know if you need anything else!"

he pressed a kiss on the top of your head and then he was gone.

an older woman stood up and walked towards you and smiled. "i just wanna say, you and your boyfriend are so cute together!"

maybe the whole fake dating thing would be easier than you thought.

going home

you slept over at mat's the night before leaving for the airport because it would make things easier on marty who agreed to drive you both to the airport. you weren't exactly sure how mat convinced marty to do it, but you made it a habit of not asking questions you didn't want the answer to.

"thanks again for the ride, marty," you said from the backseat.

originally, you and mat were fighting over who got to sit in the front, but not in the way others might expect. he said it was polite to let ladies sit in the front (which, when has he ever called you a lady?). you said he had the longer legs and needed the space.

marty groaned at the both of you to stop wasting his gas and to get in the damn car, i swear to god, barzy.

you got the backseat simply because you got in and shut the door before mat could pull you out.

"where are you and barzy headed?" marty asked.

"back to my hometown. my cousin is getting married," you supplied before he had time to ask follow up questions.

"and you chose barzy to be your date?"

you awkwardly chuckled. "tito was already in canada and i didn't have it in me to ask him to come back to the states."

"oh fuck off," mat said from the front seat.

the drive continued with you sporadically staring out the window or tuning into the conversation mat and marty were having about offseason workouts and the nba finals. when marty pulled up to the airport, mat was the first one out, opening your door a beat later.

he grabbed both of your bags in his hands, saying a quick thanks to his teammate for the both of you before shutting the trunk.

"i can carry my bags, mat."

he laughed, but otherwise continued on like he hadn't heard you. if you were a better woman, or maybe someone who hadn't been friendzoned for the last few years, you would've acknowledged the veins in his arms popping out under the strain of your luggage.

but you'd been down that road before back before you were friends and just admiring a handsome stranger from across the bar.

look at how that turned out for you.

you were expecting to split up at TSA since you knew mat had pre check and you most certainly did not. you were expecting him to hand your bags over (a backpack and a carry on) and head in the pre check lane.

so imagine your surprise when he not only refused to hand your bags over, he continued walking to the normal security check.

"mat," you hissed, but he kept walking. "mat." you stood on your toes and grabbed his shoulder to keep him from walking, but he brushed you off. so you stopped moving altogether until he noticed you weren't following him anymore.

"will you come on? you're gonna make us late!" he turned around, looking exasperated for some reason, like he wasn't the one being weird.

"mat, you need to go that way." you pointed to the pre check area.

he blinked at you, rolled his eyes, and turned around and kept walking.

"mathew michael paul barzal, where are you going?" you called after him, practically running to catch up to his long strides.

"i thought it was obvious, i'm headed to security," he deadpanned.

"but your security is that way mr. pre check."

"i'm not doing pre check. i'm going through regular security like you."

"why?"

mat glanced down at you and by that look alone, you would've thought you were the dumbest person alive in his mind. "please don't play dumb, it's not cute."

"i'm not playing dumb! and i don't care about being cute!"

"i'm not going to abandon you at tsa. i'd feel much better if we stick together, happy?" he stopped walking altogether and fixed you with a look. one that kept you rooted to your spot. "you happy, now?" you nodded. "good, let's go."

you followed after him and got in line.

tsa took a total of 20 minutes to get through. mat insisted you go first which meant you put your backpack on and grabbed your carry on before he could.

"you're ridiculous," he said as the both of you started the trek towards your gate.

"you sound like my mother," you quipped.

the rest of your walk was spent in peaceful silence. the both of you made it to the gate with about thirty minutes until boarding, which was the latest you'd ever arrived to a gate before.

you and mat argued about when to arrive the night before.

he won.

mainly because he was the one to tell marty when to pick you up from his apartment.

it felt like no time had passed when the gate attendant started speaking over the intercom. instinctively, you zoned out. you weren't an idiot, you knew when to board. this wasn't your first rodeo.

but mat started standing up when the gate attendant started calling for the first group.

you tugged his shirt sleeve. "mat, what the hell?"

it was a good thing your family wasn't there to see all the drama that unfolded between the two of you in the airport. anyone who watched the two of you since you'd arrived wouldn't believe you were in love.

not when you were actively getting on each other's nerves.

"will you stop?" he swatted your hand away only to grab it a second later to tug you into a standing position.

"what are you doing? we don't get on the plane yet--"

but he cut you off when he shoved a plane ticket in your hand with the words first class written on it.

"mat..." you trailed off. "what is this?"

he glanced down at you and rolled his eyes. "don't act like you've never seen a plane ticket before."

"asshole. why is it first class?"

he shrugged but wouldn't meet you eye. "i get more leg room."

"but why wouldn't you just put me in economy? mat i can't afford to pay you back for this!" you were panicking and beginning to think about how much you'd have to save before you could venmo him the full amount. you were about to pull your phone out to see how much it would cost before he grabbed your hand again, this time squeezing it in his own.

"don't worry about it," he said calmly. "i wasn't gonna let you sit alone, and i have the money for it, so i did it."

"but i can't afford--"

"i was never gonna let you pay me back anyways, so don't even think about how much it cost." while still holding onto your hand, he guided the both of you over to the gate entrance where your tickets were scanned so you could board.

you were sitting in first class moments later.

mat let you take the window seat while he got the aisle, saying it gave him more space, but you liked to think it was because he knew you liked watching the changing landscapes.

when the plane took off, mat leaned his head back in the seat and plugged his airpods in, closing his eyes as he did so. you mentally slapped yourself for forgetting yours, stupidly thinking that maybe mat would want to talk when he'd been uncharacteristically quiet the entire trip thus far.

you sat back in your seat and looked out the window as the clouds passed by. worries of how your family would react to mat, or worse, how mat would react to your family, filling your mind.

god you didn't think you could stomach losing him. in fact, maybe your entire idea was too risky. you'd take being the butt of the family jokes for years to come if it meant you got to keep mat. if you lost him--

your hand was squeezed twice.

you looked away from the window to mat who was holding your hand again and had an airpod out.

"you're thinking too loud," he said. "you okay?"

you nodded but it was clear he didn't believe you. nonetheless, he didn't push. instead, he held an airpod out to you. the tones of some pop song filled your ear.

mat didn't let go of your hand for the entire rest of the plane ride.

as soon as the plane hit the tarmac, mat was taking his airpod back and stuffing both into the case and back into his backpack. you texted your mom to let her know you'd just landed and would be getting an uber to her house.

while you were texting your mother, mat was grabbing your bags and holding up the line so you could slide out.

he didn't even acknowledge the glares and eye rolls being shot at both of you.

you and mat started your walk off the plane and towards the exit of the airport.

"so remind me who i need to be concerned about meeting? is it your dad?"

you laughed. your father was a lot of things, intimidating was not even remotely close to one. "not even close. it's angela that's the problem the problem."

"angela's the one getting married, right?" you nodded. "why are you concerned about her? she'll be too focused on getting married."

you laughed. actually, cackled. "she's had this planned out since we were seven. i'd bet my first born child that she has all of this finalized months ago."

"anything else i should know?" he asked.

you thought to yourself. what could you say about angela that wouldn't be mean but still be true?

"just....stay close. we need to go everywhere together, understood?"

he furrowed his brows. "even to the bathroom?"

you thought back to that one time in 11th grade when you didn't follow your boyfriend to the bathroom. "especially then," you said.

"got it. stick to you like glue."

you were staring at your phone and opening up your uber app when mat nudged you, but you ignored him.

but he nudged you before just grabbing your phone out of your hand.

"what?!" you asked.

he pointed. "is that your mom?"

a cold chill went down your back as you made eye contact with the woman who was your carbon copy holding a sign with yours and mat's (albeit spelled wrong) names on it. she was smiling and waving erratically with the hand that wasn't holding onto the poster.

"oh my god."

before you could even stop him, mat was walking towards your mom with an award winning smile. to your absolute horror, he placed your bags on the ground and allowed her to wrap him in a hug.

you zombie walked over to them, like you were trapped in some fever dream.

"honey!" she squealed when she pulled away from mat. "you didn't tell me how handsome mat was!" she said not so quietly.

god you wanted to die. curl up and die right there on the airport floor.

mat was snickering into his fist at your reaction.

maybe you should've asked beau instead.

home

your mom parked the car in the driveway; she nearly swooned when mat opened your car door for you and grabbed all of your bags.

"such a gentleman," was all she said before heading up the front porch.

the two of you followed your mother into your house where your dad, your brother, and his girlfriend sat in the living room.

"mat," you started. "this is my dad, my brother cody, and his girlfriend harper. guys, this is mat."

"i would wave, but my hands are full."

"oh honey, stop being rude and show mat to your room."

you blinked. "you mean, our rooms, right?" your mother and father were very traditional in that sense. so you'd banked on having to share a bathroom at most with mat.

not an entire bedroom.

not a tiny bed.

"we're not gonna act like the two of you haven't slept together already. i was born at night, but not last night," your father said from his position in the recliner.

you could hear mat choking on air while your brother cackled.

"besides," your mother cleared her throat. "cody's old room has been converted into an office, so that just leaves the queen bed in your room, sweetheart. that won't be a problem, will it?"

you shook your head, though you very much wanted to curl up in a hole and die. "no ma'am, that'll be fine."

your father crossed his hands over his stomach and leveled mat with a heated stare. "just because i know the two of you have slept together does not mean under any circumstances that it should happen under this roof. do you understand me, son?"

mat nodded, though he looked the most uncomfortable you'd ever seen him. "yes sir."

"oh honey," your mother started. "let them go settle in. dinner will be in an hour."

you led mat up the stairs and to your childhood bedroom. you finally gave up on offering to help carry the bags. mat, for the most part, looked happy to do something with his hands all things considered.

the room hadn't changed much since you moved out and away from home. the walls were still lilac, the carpet was still cream.

but the dolls you had growing up were missing, and for that, you were thankful.

mat dropped the bags on the ground and shut the door behind him. his shoulders relaxed for the first time since getting off the airplane.

"your family's nice," he said.

you immediately flocked to him until there was only about a foot between you. "mat, i'm so sorry. i didn't think they'd make us share a room, they never let cody do that growing up."

he smiled and placed his hands on your shoulders. "it's okay. it's just for a week. we've fallen asleep together on the couch before, it'll be just like that, just in a bed, okay? and i promise i won't stare when you get changed."

you nodded and wrapped your arms around his waist. "this is already so overwhelming."

"hey, we're the dream team, okay? i'm the best liar ever. we've got this in the bag."

and when he sounded so confident, how could you possibly believe otherwise?

the two of you got settled in your room before completely kicking off your shoes, changing into comfier clothes (with you in the closet and mat in the room) and settling into bed just to scroll on your phones. your mom came knocking before too long to tell you dinner was ready.

dinner was a pot of spaghetti, your mom's best dish. everyone was seated by the time you and mat made it into the dining room. mat, ever the performer, pulled your chair out and took the seat to your right, choosing to sit next to your mom rather than your father.

"are you waiting for a grand invitation? dig in," your father grunted. his irritation immediately kicked everyone into gear, with your family passing around garlic bread and filling plates with pasta.

the table was quiet aside from the sounds of forks scraping against the plates.

"so mat," cody started. "what do you do for a living?"

"oh," he said, wiping his mouth. "i play professional hockey."

"an athlete?" your mother questioned. "i thought you learned from the last one."

you about dropped your head into your plate. "mom...."

"sorry, sorry, i know we said we wouldn't talk about him, but he's going to be a part of the family soon."

mat's neck should've snapped from how fast he whipped it to look at you.

you nudged his knee under the table with yours. later, you hoped he'd understand.

harper cleared her throat. "what team do you play for?" she asked. "i grew up a devils fan, so i have to know."

"islanders," mat smirked, like it was something to be proud of, and to him, it was. to your family though? they were more concerned with the upcoming college football season to really care.

"oh god," harper replied. "at least you don't play for the rangers."

mat took a sip of his water. "agreed."

"do you still have all your teeth?" cody asked.

you inhaled and started choking on what you guessed was a spaghetti noodle. mat reached over and immediately started patting your back quite forcefully until your airway was cleared.

"yeah," mat said. "still have all my teeth."

"how did you two meet?" your mom asked. clearly your family was in interrogation mode, but at the very least these were questions you prepared for.

"at a bar through some mutual friends," mat answered, knowing good and well they weren't looking for you to say anything, their eyes were solely focused on your best friend.

"and out of all the girls, you picked this one? did you know she couldn't tie her shoes till she was in third grade?" cody laughed.

mat didn't.

which was odd, because he was usually the first one to poke fun at you.

"you wet the bed until you were nine," you shot back, ready to diffuse the tension.

a loud laugh burst from harper's mouth. not even her hand over her lips could quite muffle the volume of it.

cody rolled his eyes but held his hands up. "laugh all you want, harp. you chose this."

she smiled and leaned into him. "i did."

you stared until mat's hand landed on your thigh, effectively snapping you out of your daze. you looked at him and gave him a small smile before eating more of your mom's cooking.

dinner was over shortly thereafter, with small talk being made between the six of you. when it ended, mat was the first one up, grabbing both of your plates, while you grabbed the cups, and followed you into the kitchen.

"oh no, you're not washing dishes," you said when you saw him put the plates in the sink. but he made no sound of hearing you. "mat!" you hissed before placing your cups in the sink and grabbing him by the arm. "you're not washing dishes! you're a guest!"

"neither of you are," your mother walked in. "you just got here. your father and i will clean up dinner, the two of you can go relax and unwind. i'm sure you've had a long day."

"i can help--" mat started.

but your mom started twirling a hand towel with a smile on her face. "don't make me smack you with this, mat." and the very sight of that coupled with the lighthearted threat had you both sprinting out of the kitchen. you'd grown up in that house long enough to remember the sting of the towel on your legs when you annoyed your mother.

you also remembered trying to get back at her once and failing completely.

your father passed the two of you as he walked into the kitchen while your brother and his girlfriend took their spots on the couch. it only left one seat left in the room, your dad's chair. but combined with the air travel, the early morning, you were left exhausted and nothing sounded better than showering and crawling into bed.

"we're gonna head upstairs, long day and all," you said to cody and harper, the inference was that they would tell your parents.

mat followed you up the stairs and into your childhood bedroom. "you take the first shower," you instructed. "i have to wash my hair and it'll take longer."

he nodded and gathered his clothes while you searched your bag for a set of modest pajamas. he finished his shower in about twenty minutes.

you hopped in the shower and went through your routine, washing your hair and body before stepping out and drying off. when you got back to your room, mat was laying in bed under the covers watching the tv on your dresser.

in true fashion, he was watching espn.

"don't you get enough of this during the season? i didn't even know you liked baseball." you crawled into bed and cuddled into mat's clothed chest like you always did.

mat shrugged, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. "i was waiting for you to come back to decide what we should watch."

you hummed and buried your face into his shirt.

cuddling wasn't abnormal for the two of you, most movie nights at mat's place ended with you in similar positions. you were aware his friends made fun of him for it, but mat thrived off physical affection and you were all too willing to give it to him.

"just turn on a movie," you mumbled.

he selected a random mission impossible movie that you couldn't give two shits about. but when the movie and your fresh shower were coupled with mat running a hand up and down your back?

you were out like a light.

exploring the hometown -- the dress shop

it was an alarm that woke you up right as the sun rose. you groaned into your pillow, burying your face into the fabric. a warm arm tightened its grip around your waist. for a moment you freaked out, trying to wriggle away from the person who had you locked in, but the person grumbled and groaned.

"if you keep moving like that, i'm going to need a cold shower. so stop."

oh.

mat.

oh.

you immediately stopped moving and relaxed back into the bed.

"we need to talk," he said.

"can we talk later? it's barely even morning."

but mat had no intention of letting you sleep in. he used his arm to forcibly turn you over to face him. when you looked him in the face, his hair was mussed and in his eyes. before you could even stop yourself, you hand was reaching and moving the hair out of the way.

"what did your mom mean when she said the last athlete you dated was joining the family soon?"

you groaned and shoved your head into his chest, but he lightly pushed your forehead away from him so he could look you in the eyes.

"i'm serious," he said.

you sighed. "i dated this guy in 11th grade, his name was owen and he played football. he was the starting tight end and a grade older than me." you avoided looking at him and instead traced the letters on his islanders t-shirt with your fingers. "things were great, he was nice and all, so i invited him to my birthday party. he went to the bathroom, and i noticed he was gone for awhile so when i went to look for him, he was making out with angela."

mat's grip tightened on your waist. he said your name quietly, but you shook your head.

"it's fine," you said. "i told my parents but angela didn't get in trouble, not really at least. my aunt pressured me to make up with her for the sake of 'family' and 'feminism,' so i accepted her half assed apology and congratulated her when they got engaged a year ago."

"what a bitch," was all mat said.

"mat..."

but he was sitting up and pulling you with him. "no, don't brush this off. what she did was shitty. and your family just expected you to forgive her and watch her get married to him?"

"mat, it happened years ago. forgive and forget."

"i think you mean resent and remember," he grumbled.

"can we just go back to sleep? it's too early for this."

mat huffed but sank back into the mattress.

the two of you fell back asleep until light was hitting you in the eyes. "get up, sleepy heads! you can't sleep the day away!"

you groaned at the sound of your mother's cheering, or maybe it was the bright ceiling light blinding you, either way, the way you woke up the first time was better than this.

"mom, what time is it?"

"a little after 8."

you and mat groaned in unison. "you couldn't let us sleep in?"

"there are things that need to get done, sweetheart. do either of you have something to wear to the wedding?"

"mom, it's too early for this."

she sighed and probably rolled her eyes, something you would notice if you weren't too busy burying your head in the fabric of mat's shirt. in turn, he was burying his face in your hair.

"fine. you two can sleep the day away, but i expect the both of you for dinner tonight and to be dressed appropriately for the family dinner tomorrow." she left shortly thereafter.

"family dinner?" mat asked into your hair. "how is that different from regular dinner?"

"it's with the entire family, not just mine. you'll meet all my cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents there."

"sounds like a lot."

"it is. they did this when my cousin andy got married two years ago."

mat hummed into the top of your head. "sounds exhausting."

"if you don't wanna see me for a month after this week is over, i wouldn't blame you."

he brought you closer to him, which you didn't think was possible considering you two were already pretty close. "i always wanna see you."

you smiled into his shirt, which you were pretty sure he could feel, but neither of you drew attention to it.

"we need to get up," you sighed, pushing away from him just a little.

"i'm already up."

on cue you felt something around your hip that had you squealing and falling out of bed laughing. "you absolute douche!" but it had no real bite since you were holding your stomach and rolling around on the floor laughing.

"what am i supposed to do when i wake up with a pretty girl pressed against me? ignore nature?"

you rolled your eyes and got up, searching through your bag for a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. "get dressed, asshole."

by the time you made it downstairs after taking care of your hair and brushing your teeth, your mother had set out a few granola bars for breakfast.

"i would've made eggs and waffles, but i'm already swamped with helping your aunt, i just didn't have the energy this morning."

"thanks, mom," you smiled and kissed her cheek once before grabbing a granola bar.

"do you know what you're wearing to angela's wedding?" she asked.

you nodded while you chewed your bar. "i brought that blue dress i wore to cody's graduation."

your mom's face twisted into disgust. "that old thing? honey, you can do better than that."

you waited until your mother turned around to roll your eyes only to catch mat coming down the stairs in a t-shirt and jeans.

god he looked so good it should be criminal.

but instead of fawning over him, you just threw a granola bar at his chest with he caught with an ease. "what're we doing today?"

"shopping apparently," you grumbled.

"oh don't give him attitude, honey. you should've packed something more appropriate to the wedding instead of that ratty dress you brought."

"it's not ratty!" you weren't sure why you were defending a dress you didn't care about, you'd only grabbed the first dress you saw in your closet. maybe it was the fact that she was so quick to dismiss something you chose to wear.

"that dress is years old, sweetheart. it's time for something new."

"thanks for the constructive criticism, mom. you never fail to give it at the best times," you deadpanned. you glanced back at mat who was stuffing the granola bar in his mouth. "you ready to go?"

he nodded, still chewing as you started walking towards the door.

"dad! i'm taking your car." you grabbed the keys, then mat's hand, and tugged him out the door.

neither of you spoke until you were already five minutes down the road.

"are you okay?" mat asked, eyes warily staring at your from the passenger seat. "you're gripping the wheel pretty tight."

you looked down at your own hands and eased up. "she just--" you groaned. "she always does this, criticizes me or what i wear. i know she means well, but it's irritating."

"for what it's worth, i liked the blue dress."

you gave him a small smile. "the problem isn't you, mat, it's not even the dress. if my mom thinks it's ratty, angela definitely will. and at the end of the day, i think that's what my mom is trying to save me from."

"why doesn't she just tell angela to mind her own business?"

"question of the year," you grumbled before pulling into the parking lot of a local boutique.

the two of you got out and headed inside, though mat looked a little out of place. "what's the dress code for this wedding anyway?"

"i'm sure if you brought a dress shirt and some slacks, you'll be fine."

you looked around, occasionally checking the dresses on the racks, but nothing caught your eye.

"can i help you find anything?" that voice nearly stopped you in your tracks, it was someone you hadn't thought about since you left for college.

you turned around and smiled at the woman in front of you. last time you saw her, you were standing in matching caps and gowns. you sat next to each other at graduation, and before that, you shared a few classes together. if it wasn't for the bright red hair and the comments your mom had made in the past about her staying in town, you never would've recognized her.

you hoped she wouldn't recognize you.

but she said your name in shock and smiled. "it's been so long!" she said. "back in town for angela's wedding?"

and really, you had no reason to dread this conversation, meredith was as nice as she was in high school. but you weren't sure if anyone was ever this happy to run into someone they knew from high school.

speaking of, you couldn't even remember why you weren't closer to her in high school.

"meredith, hi," you replied. "yes, i'm in town for her wedding. are you going?"

meredith nodded and smiled. "i'm actually her maid of honor."

of course she was.

that explained why you weren't close friends in high school.

"that's so exciting!" you smiled through a clenched jaw.

"i was shocked to hear you weren't in the bridal party though. is everything okay?" meredith sounded genuinely concerned, and while she was sweet, you never remembered her being very observant.

you shrugged. "we've grown apart since i moved away, it's water under the bridge."

meredith nodded until her gaze shifted to behind you were you assumed mat had just appeared. "who's this?"

"this is--"

"i'm mat," he held his hand out to shake. "her boyfriend."

meredith shakily grabbed his hand, you could see it tremble in his grip. "meredith," she practically swooned. a moment passed before she let go of his hand.

you had to keep from rolling your eyes. you were no stranger to mat's effect on women but it didn't make it any less obnoxious.

"we're looking for a dress for her to wear to the wedding," mat explained as his arm snaked around your waist. "i think she looks amazing in anything, but if you could find her something summery that matches her complexion, maybe a nice sundress, that would be very helpful."

you looked at mat like he'd grown a second and third head while meredith scrambled off to find something to fit his description. "are you okay?"

"why wouldn't i be?"

"you just listed of a theme of clothing without even batting an eyelash."

mat shrugged. "i was just being efficient. if you don't like what she picks out, we can always find something else or go somewhere else. but i thought the summery vibe would look nice with what i packed."

"and what did you pack? a white shirt and black slacks?"

"guess you'll have to find out in a few days," he quipped before lightly booping your nose.

meredith came back with an arm full of dresses and ushered the both of you back to the dressing rooms. she handed the articles of clothing to you and whisked herself away citing that she'd be around if you needed anything.

which was perfectly fine with you, it meant you didn't have an audience to trying on dresses.

"try the green one on first!" mat called as you shut the door behind you.

"you're not running the show here, barzal. as much as you would like to think otherwise."

you put the green one on first anyway.

you looked in the mirror, not sure if you liked the sleeves or the cut of the dress. was it too short for a wedding? it felt too casual.

"are you gonna show me? i'm assuming it doesn't take ten years for you to put on a dress, sweetheart," mat said.

"i'm not doing a fashion show for you, barzy."

"your boyfriend would like very much to see what you're getting, baby."

you rolled your eyes, mainly because he had a point. but amidst your irritation, hesitancy rose up but you didn't know why. mat had never given you a reason to be insecure, he was more than affirming about your place in his life and your appearance. you had no reason to be insecure, but yet it was rising up anyway.

still, you opened the door.

you poked your head out to see mat sitting on his phone until he heard the creak of the door. "well, let me see you!" he said.

you came out from behind the door as confidently as you could manage.

only for mat to let out a low whistle.

"oh shut up," you whined.

"you look good, baby," he smirked. "almost too good to wear out in public." you flushed under his scrutinizing stare that seemed to linger on some areas more than others and the nickname made heat slowly crawl up your neck.

"you're such a flatterer."

"just calling it like i see it, honey."

"will you quit it with the nicknames?" you covered your face with your hands.

"am i embarrassing you, baby?" he asked, voice much closer now. you didn't know why until you felt two hands on your waist.

"no."

mat pulled your hands down and smirked as he placed his palms back on your waist. "liar."

you rolled your eyes. "do you like the dress or not?"

"it's not about my opinion, do you like it?"

you all but stomped your foot in frustration. "mat," you whined. "what was the point of coming out here if you're just going to defer to my opinion?"

he shrugged like it wasn't bothering him to be that close to you; unlike you, whose heart was racing a mile a minute. "because i like to see dresses on pretty women, specifically you."

you shoved him away with a light push on his chest. the skirt of the dress bunching up a bit as his grip was pulled away.

"lemme see the next one!" he called as you walked back into the dressing room.

you tried on three more dresses, all of them garnering a similar reaction from mat, but none really feeling like the dress you should be wearing. none of them were nice enough to wear to the wedding without your mother, aunt, or angela saying something smart.

your hope was diminishing when you got to the final dress. it was plain in comparison to the others as far as beading and lace went, just a simple navy blue dress with a deep v and a small slit up to mid thigh. but you tried it on anyway.

"i don't know about this one, but i kinda like it. i wanted to know what you think," you said as you came out the dressing room.

mat looked up from his phone.

only for his jaw to drop.

you shifted your weight from foot to foot, back and forth, as you waited for a comment from him. mat, in all your time as friends, was never hesitant to share his opinion, but the longer he stayed silent, the more fearful you got that maybe this dress wasn't the one you should be wearing.

"do you not like it? i can--"

"no, you're getting it." he stood up and called meredith over who seemed to have been hovering just out of sight, like she was waiting for that exact moment. "she's getting this one, can you ring it up?"

meredith smiled but looked back and forth between you two. "of course, she'll have to take it off but--"

"mat, are you sure? i'm not even sure about this."

"baby," there he went, using another pet name. "you look fantastic, and even if you didn't, which you do, i took one look at your face and could tell you loved this dress. you're getting it." he said it so confidently you were inclined to believe him.

you started reaching for the tag on the dress. "how much is it--"

he ripped the tag off and handed it to meredith along with his card. "will you ring this up for us while she gets dressed, meredith?" he asked.

"mat, you don't have to pay--"

“let’s be honest, this is more for me than you." he said it so confidently, how could you possibly say no to him? "go get dressed," he said. "i'll be out here."

you quickly changed into your other clothes and grabbed the dress on your way out. mat quickly took the dress out of your hand and wrapped an arm around your shoulders. you didn't think anything of it until he pulled you in and placed a kiss on the side of your head.

you would've read into it had meredith not been in plain sight.

he must've done it to keep up the act.

meredith took the dress and wrapped it in a box that mat refused to let you carry, just like he refused to let you see the receipt. you told him that you'd just venmo him, but he ignored you all the way to the car.

preparation mode

your mom had ordered pizza for dinner which you and mat had taken up to your room. no one in your family batted an eyelash considering you both cited it as having a long day and wanting to unwind.

"so tell me about your family, the ones i haven't met yet," mat said through a mouth full of pizza.

you were currently wearing one of his t-shirts that you stole from his apartment a month ago and a pair of running shorts while you leaned back against the headboard. "well, there's my uncle mike, he's my mom's brother and the oldest in their family. for the most part he minds his business, he's on his fourth marriage and probably the last one because him and his wife don't even care to mask their indifference towards each other." you took a huge bite of your pizza and swallowed it before continuing. "then there's aunt patty who is angela's mom and she's about as nice as they come but also she's super passive aggressive and let's angela get away with everything."

"sounds like she's not actually nice, and you're just conditioned to think she is."

you rolled your eyes. "we don't have time to psychoanalyze my familial relationships, barzy."

"sure we do, if your aunt lets your bullying cousin get away with everything, then she's not actually nice."

"what does that make her then, smart ass?"

"a pawn." and he said it so lightly that you didn't even think about it for a moment. when you finally registered what he said, you furrowed your brows. so mat continued. "anyone who lets their child 'get away with everything' even when they're wrong is not a parent so much as they are a pawn in their child's game."

you blinked at him once. then a second time, wondering when your best friend had been replaced by your therapist.

"what?" he asked.

"i'm just trying to figure out what happened to my best friend. it's like you were replaced by dr. phil."

mat rolled his eyes. "i'm allowed to be wise on occasion."

"is it an occasion if it's never happened before?"

"what makes you say that?"

"i'm saying someone who gets hit in the face with a hockey stick or a puck every other game doesn't always have the best wisdom."

"but i do now! and that's what matters." he took another bite of pizza and hummed to himself.

"what?" you asked. "what was that hum about?"

"tell me about your other family members."

you explained how your cousin andrew (otherwise known as andy) was the oldest of angela's siblings and was married two years ago to his wife kelsey. they were distant from angela because she announced her engagement at kelsey's baby shower, but in true family fashion, that incident was pushed under the rug.

then there was thomas who was a year older than you and angela who had an affinity of sleeping around and generally not giving a shit about anyone or anything. he would say what he wanted when he wanted and for that reason, he was one of your favorite relatives. because, for the most part, he was the only one other than your grandmother who called angela out on her shit.

"what about your grandparents?"

you shrugged. "my grandfather died a few years ago and my grandmother is still around. she's honestly my favorite family member, though i'm sure that has nothing to do with me and cody being her favorites."

"oh i'm sure," mat said.

"and that's my mom's side of the family." you slapped your thighs and took a sip of your drink.

"what about you?"

you looked at him, confused at what he could possibly be talking about. "what about me?"

"you've told me about your family, tell me about you."

you scoffed. "mat, we're friends, what could you possibly want to know about me?"

he shrugged. "tell me something i wouldn't know. if you don't, i'm going to go downstairs and ask your mom to bring out the baby photos."

you rolled your eyes and sighed heavily, like it was some burden on you. "fine. when i was a kid, angela stuck bubble gum in my hair and i had to get a horrendous haircut. cody made fun of me until it grew out again."

"i bet you were still cute."

you got up from the bed and picked up a picture frame off your dresser. for some reason, your mother insisted on decorating your room with your worst moments, hence why your prom photo was hanging in the stair way. you handed the picture frame to mat who immediately smiled at your seven year old self smiling with two missing teeth and a shitty haircut.

"oh," he said.

"what?" you asked.

mat looked up with a huge smile on his face. "i definitely would've had a crush on you as a kid." you rolled your eyes and shoved him in the shoulder. "hey!" he protested. "i would've! you were cute!"

"shut up, you would not. i bet seven year old mat was the cutest boy in his grade and too worried about hockey to look at seven year old me."

"he might've been, i'd never know. but all i'm saying is if seven year old me knew seven year old you? he'd be in love. well, as much love as a seven year old can feel. in fact, i would've given you my favorite pokemon cards if you'd asked."

you could feel heat creeping up your neck at the idea, and how far it was from the truth. your classmates gave you hell for the way your hair looked, and it was such an odd and unbelievable story that no one took you seriously until the next school year when you grew your hair out.

"well, do you have a photo of you as a kid? it's not fair that you get unlimited access to all my childhood photos and i don't get to see you!"

mat rolled his eyes but pulled out his phone and scrolled through his camera roll. he flipped his phone around so you could see a photo of him in hockey gear with a big smile on his face. "aw mat," you cooed. "you were so cute."

"would you have had a crush on me?"

you thought about it for a moment. "i actually had a crush on this guy in my grade named frankie, so probably not."

mat's jaw dropped. "so my crush would go unrequited?"

"mat, honey, we didn't even live in the same country. this whole situation is hypothetical."

"tell me, did frankie play hockey?"

"what? no."

"was he funnier than me?"

"mat how am i supposed to know if second grade you was funnier than frankie?"

he shrugged. "i don't know. but was he?"

"he was the class clown."

mat groaned and fell back into your pillows. "seven year old mat is crushed. he stands no chance."

"honey, i cannot stress this enough, this is a hypothetical situation."

but all of a sudden, he stood up to his full height and walked towards you with the picture frame still in his hands. he placed the frame back on your dresser and closed the distance between the two of you. "what if it wasn't hypothetical?" he said, his tone shifted from playful to serious.

you locked his phone while you looked at him, to say you were confused would be an understatement. "what're you talking about?"

he shrugged and placed his hands on your waist, pulling you closer until you hips touched and it was like electricity struck your nervous system. "what if--"

a knock on the door interrupted anything mat was going to say. the two of you jumped apart. "hope you two aren't naked!" cody's voice sounded through the wooden door. "we're having a movie night and mom made it clear that you two need to be downstairs in five minutes."

"we'll be right out!" you called, though your eyes were still locked on mat's.

he reluctantly let go of you as you cleared your throat. you didn't know what was different about air around you, how it felt tense and warm at the same time.

you headed downstairs with mat trailing behind you and sat on the couch next to each other. you weren't sure what changed, but when mat put his arm around you like he had done in the past, you fought every urge to tense up. what was going on with you?

when the movie was over, and it was time for all of you to go to bed, you and mat dressed in separate rooms. you were in bed by the time he returned and you were too busy controlling your breaths to notice his hesitancy.

he called your name quietly, but you squeezed your eyes shut and evened out your breathing. mat pushed a strand of hair behind your ear as he got in bed before he wrapped an arm around your waist pulled your back to his chest.

your heart beat against your ribs loud enough you were sure he could hear it. you weren't sure why, or what it was, not even your ex boyfriend had your heart beating like that, and it took you months to get over him.

when mat finally fell asleep, you relaxed, and pulled yourself gently and slowly out of his hold.

you placed a pillow between you two.

it was on the floor on mat's side the next morning.

the "big family" dinner

"is this appropriate enough to wear to dinner tonight?" mat came into the room wearing a plain white tee and black jeans with adidas.

it should be a sin to look that good in something so simple.

"if you were anyone else, i'd say no," you replied.

he blinked. "what does that mean?"

"i mean somehow you make really plain outfits look good."

he smirked. "you saying i look good?"

"oh please. like you don't know."

mat put both of his hands in his front pockets and leaned his shoulder against the wall. "maybe, but it sounds better coming from your mouth." you rolled your eyes and shoved him aside as you gathered your clothes in your hands. "what're you wearing?"

"a shirt and shorts." you walked into the bathroom across the hall to change into your outfit before going back in the bedroom to get your shoes.

mat let out a low whistle much like he did at the boutique. "is that my shirt?"

you looked down and saw the islanders logo on the front and shrugged. "must be."

"when did you grab this?"

"must've been during one of our sleepovers." you walked right out of the room and down the stairs to join the rest of your family. the six of you (your father, mother, brother, his girlfriend, mat, and you) would be riding in two separate cars. cody tried to convince your parents that mat should ride with them while you rode with him, but you quickly shot that idea down. you wouldn't say you were embarrassed of your parents, but you surely weren't going to leave mat to his own devices with them.

which is how you ended up sitting in the backseat of your dad's subaru with a foot of space between you and mat.

"mat, honey, tell us about your family! do you have any siblings?" your mother asked from the front seat she tried to give him earlier.

"you have longer legs!" she said.

"and my dad would literally punch me in the chest if i didn't let you sit shotgun," mat replied.

"i have a sister, her name's liana."

"oh, liana!" your mother gushed. "what a beautiful name! i should've named you that, honey!"

"mom," you whined. "you don't think it would be weird to have the same name as mat's sister?"

she hummed. "i guess, when you put it that way..." your mother shook her head. "how'd you get into hockey, mat?"

"mom, mat's gonna be interrogated all night long, can we save the questions for later?"

"baby, it's fine," mat assured you. your heart picked up just a little at the pet name but settled down when he turned his attention back to your mom. "i grew up playing it," he said. "my dad used to play as well."

it was like your mom fell in love with your boyfriend even more. "see honey? he continued a tradition that his father set for him!" you kept yourself from snarking back and rolling your eyes and just smiled. "i wanted my daughter to be a nurse like me," she explained to mat. "but she wasn't interested."

"mom, i can barely handle the sight of blood and you thought i would be okay in the icu?"

mat cackled. "you should see her when i have cuts and bruises from games, she pulls out gloves and about douses my wounds in peroxide."

"i'm not gonna get a blood borne disease because of you, barzal," you replied.

he rolled his eyes but smiled at you anyway.

you zoned out for the rest of the car ride as your aunt's house grew closer. mat, ever the observant friend, reached out and grabbed your hand in his, squeezing it three times until you looked at him.

"you okay?" he mouthed. when you finally nodded he sighed and brought your hands to his lips, kissing it once before placing your joined hands between the two of you. your heart soared at the gesture, but you looked back out the window before he could see it.

your father parked the car in front of a giant house you were all too familiar with. memories flashed before your eyes of summers spent swimming in the pool in the backyard and playing with toys in angela's room.

"be on your best behavior," your mom directed towards you with a knowing look in her eyes. you weren't sure why, you hadn't made a scene in years, though you were contemplating it if your mom kept harassing you.

you and mat slid out of the backseat and followed your parents to the front door. your mom didn't even bother knocking; she opened the door and left it open for the rest of you to follow. mat trailed behind you, grabbing your hand at the last minute before walking through the front door.

you were immediately accosted by a plethora of voices and music, unknowingly, you gripped mat's hand a little tighter as your aunt rounded the corner with a glass of champagne and a large smile. you saw as she greeted your parents with hugs, careful not to spill her drink. when her eyes focused on you, or rather the hand you were holding, there was a sense of smug satisfaction that occurred when you saw the poorly disguised shock on her face.

"hey!" she greeted. "i see you brought a friend."

before you could say anything, mat was taking his hand out of yours and shaking your aunt's hand. "i'm mat, the boyfriend."

aunt patty smiled and then looked at you, like she was evaluating something. "nice to meet you, mat," she said before bringing you into a hug and giving the same salutation she gave your parents. "angela will be excited to see you, both of you!" she said.

doubtful, you thought. very doubtful.

aunt patty ushered the both of you further into the house; mat's hand returned to holding yours until it was time to go outside in the backyard and join the rest of the family, then his hand moved to your lower back.

the two of you walked outside and watched as your family mingled in the backyard.

"who do we talk to first?" mat asked.

you shook your head. "no one. we go grab food first. my family is easier to handle with food."

mat nodded and followed your lead to the table with assorted finger foods on it. the two of you grabbed a plate full of food and found a table to sit.

it wasn't long before the table filled up with cody and his girlfriend who'd arrived moments after you did.

"did you give him the family run down?" cody asked before taking a bite out of one of his deviled eggs.

"this isn't amateur hour, cody. i spent the entire evening yesterday prepping him."

and a coffee date and plane ride dedicated to perfecting a fabricated story.

as if reminded that you two had appearances to keep up, mat reached back and draped his arm around the back of your chair and leaned back in his own. he looked so comfortable doing so you would've believed him to be genuine.

it wasn't long before your other family members came over, your grandmother to start. both you and mat stood to greet her. she wasted no time pulling you into a hug and kissing your cheek, holding your face between her hands and smiling.

"my, my, my, you've grown," she said.

"you say that every time you see me, grandma," you replied.

"and i mean it every time." her eyes dart to over your shoulder where you're positive mat is towering over you. "and who is this?" she asked, but it was clear by the smirk on her face that she already knew. the entire family probably knew given how much your mother liked to talk about your love life.

"i'm mat," he said and extended a hand out to shake.

your grandmother immediately let go of you and all but pushed you out of the way to hug mat who didn't even hesitate to embrace her back. when your grandmother pulled away she smiled and glanced back and forth between you and mat.

"so you're the gentleman who stole my baby's heart?"

mat gave your grandmother a megawatt smile. "no ma'am, you have it backwards. i just tricked her into dating me, still not sure how i accomplished it though."

your grandmother looked back at you and all but swooned. "you didn't tell me how handsome he was."

you blinked. you weren't sure what kind of magic ability mat had but the fact that you grandmother looked ready to become a cougar or push you down the aisle said something.

"didn't think he was your type, grandma."

she rolled her eyes but the smile on her lips said enough. "you and that attitude, girl, i've missed it. i hope she doesn't give you this much trouble, mat."

he only reached around your grandmother and tugged you into his chest. "oh this one? she usually gives me a run for my money," he said before placing a kiss on the top of your head.

your grandmother looked at you and smiled.

and just like that, he'd won over your grandmother's approval. it was a record for you, actually. even your best boyfriend had to meet her several times to win her over.

and mat did it in a matter of minutes.

really, it wasn't fair how charming he was.

"well," she said. "i'll let you two finish eating, i'm sure your cousin will make her way over here at some point." and on cue, your grandmother and you met eyes and shared an understanding. while your grandma loved angela, she, unlike your aunt, was not blind to the passive aggressive comments made by your cousin over the years.

mat pulled your chair out and pushed it in as you sat down before taking his place next to you. his hand immediately made its way onto your thigh, his thumb stroking the outside of your leg.

he leaned in and murmured in your ear. "that went well."

you swallowed the weird sensation in your throat that probably had nothing to do with his touch and proximity.

"a little too well if you ask me," you replied. "she likes you a lot more than my other boyfriends."

mat shrugged like that wasn't the highest praise you could give him. "to be fair, your exes have always been shit."

"they have not!"

cody chimed in from across the table. "they have." you glared at him but he seemed unfazed. "do you want me to tally the boys you've brought home?" but he didn't even give you a chance to answer before he started listing your exes on his fingers. "there was cole who skipped your birthday because it wasn't important. then there was conrad who had the weird relationship with his sister. then there was randall who wouldn't speak to you for days on end and then text you out of the blue."

you rolled your eyes. "those don't count, those were high school boyfriends."

cody deadpanned, though you both knew he skipped one particular boyfriend who happened to be the shittiest. "oh i can skip straight to college and post college if you'd like. you've given me plenty of material to work with." so he continued. "there was yohan who didn't have a bed frame, just a mattress on the floor."

"we were in college!"

mat chimed in. "a mattress on the floor is bad, babe. you can't excuse that."

you huffed and sat back in your chair as cody kept going.

"what about peter who refused to ever get your number and only communicated through snapchat? or lance who had the armpit fetish?"

mat nearly spit out his drink. "a what? what does that even mean?"

you groaned and put your head in your hands until a new voice chimed in.

"it means that she wore a lot of tank tops when they dated, per his request. isn't that right?"

you looked up and saw the rock on her hand before you ever saw her face.

"angela," you said and tried to smile, though the poorly masked snicker made by cody told you it probably looked more like a grimace. "hey, long time no see."

"alright, that's our cue, harper," cody mumbled before him and his girlfriend left the table.

she smiled and fixed her eyes on mat. "and who is this?"

mat, as if sensing the challenge she was presenting, moved his hand from your thigh to around your shoulder. unlike meeting your grandmother, he didn't stand up or offer a hand, he just nodded and smile. "i'm mat."

"and who is 'mat?'" she asked in what she believed was a charming way.

you had to keep yourself from rolling your eyes.

"i'm her boyfriend," mat said before placing a kiss on the side of your head. it was with premature smug satisfaction that you witnessed the smile on angela's lips falter just a little. but then you remembered the times before when you introduced boyfriends to family and how angela looked at them with some sort of predatory gleam in her eyes when met with a challenge.

and mat's indifference to her was the biggest challenge of all.

a tall blond man walked over and wrapped an arm around angela's waist. "baby," he said. "i got you a drink." and he handed her a flute of champagne.

she sipped it but never took her eyes off mat.

"who're you?" owen asked. you had to keep yourself from rolling your eyes. all those years ago, you thought his blunt ways of communicating were charming, now they just grated on your nerves.

"honey, this is mat, the infamous plus one."

"boyfriend," mat corrected. "simple mistake, i get it. it's not like the rsvp's asked for a relationship definition or anything."

"how long have you two been together?" owen asked.

"a few months," you answered in unison, which immediately made angela quirk a brow. you started sweating, your hands started shaking in your lap.

almost as if sensing your nerves, mat reached over with the hand that wasn't around you shoulders, and placed it on your thigh, rubbing smooth circles into your skin.

goosebumps formed on your skin, but for an entirely different reason that a cold breeze considering it was nearly sweltering outside.

"we've been friends for awhile though," mat said. "known each other for about as long as we've been in new york."

angela hummed, but didn't seem convinced. "okay," she smiled. "enjoy the party."

when she walked away with owen in tow, you let out a sigh.

"you okay?" mat mumbled.

"that went better than i thought."

"i thought you said she was mean," mat said.

"she typically is, maybe she's changed though. it's been a minute since i came home."

mat hummed, but maybe your earlier conversations convinced him of angela's normal behavior, because he didn't seem like he believed you.

"don't hum at me," you said. "she could!"

mat shrugged and leaned back in his chair, his hand squeezed your shoulder where it rested. "okay," he said before placing a kiss on your temple. "i trust you."

the night continued on without much incident. cody got a little too drunk, but that was to be expected. your uncle, his wife, and your cousins all came by and said their hellos, but for the most part, you and mat just stayed at the table and talked.

it was moments like that when you forgot how easy it was to just be with him. you couldn't count the amount of times you found yourself sitting on his couch with your head in his lap, his hand in your hair, as you ranted about your shitty day at work or a frustrating phone call with your parents. days like that were typical with mat, because he made it so easy to just be.

you felt most like yourself when you were with him.

and sure it sounded a little codependent, but you were almost positive he was your other half.

but not in a romantic way.

never in a romantic way.

after all, he was way out of your league. the amount times he had women approach him at bars when the two of you went out were astronomical.

you were forever the friend, and you weren't really all that upset about it. so long as you had mat, you'd take him in whatever capacity he'd give you.

the night was quickly coming to an end. harper had cody's arm wrapped around her shoulder, assuring everyone she would be driving them home. mat's hand had found a new home on the small of your back as he guided you out and back towards the front door, following your parents who insisted on hugging every family member goodbye.

you felt your body lean into mat's touch and the side of his body, your own feeling drained and exhausted.

"hey," he leaned down and mumbled in your ear. "i'm gonna go to the bathroom, i'll meet you at the car?"

you looked up at him, faces close together. you were taken back to earlier when you almost kissed and for a moment, you found yourself imagining a world where you could. where you could lean up and figure out what chapstick he used.

"yeah," you stuttered out when it was clear you'd stayed quiet too long.

"great," he smiled before kissing your cheek and disappearing down the hallway.

you were immediately crowded by your mom, aunt, and to your displeasure, angela.

your cousin stumbled up to you with a bright smile on her face as both of your mothers talked to each other. "your friend was cute," she said. "wouldn't mind running away with him." she giggled, but you saw the truth in her eyes, the calculated stumbles and fake drunken smiles.

"oh, angie's had too much to drink," your aunt said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "you know how drunk people can be."

"i've always heard drunk words are sober thoughts," you stated.

your mom scoffed and waved a hand in the air. "oh honey, that's just a saying, angela doesn't mean what she says, not while she's intoxicated. after all, i have done plenty of things while drunk that i didn't mean in the morning."

you squinted at your mother, completely baffled by her excusing of angela. which, after all these years, shouldn't surprise you.

"what'd i miss?" mat popped back next to you like he was summoned.

"oh nothing--" your mother started.

"mat!" angela screamed, throwing her hands up in the air before wrapping them around his shoulders. "if i wasn't getting married tomorrow, i'd run away with you! it's too bad my cousin here didn't introduce us before!"

mat peeled her arms off his body and pushed her away as gently as he could. "before what? before you stole her high school boyfriend?"

what.

the hell.

angela's smile dropped right as your mom's and aunt's eyes widened. "and i'm not a fan of running." he grabbed your hand and pulled you out the front door, and waved down harper who was about to pull out of the driveway.

"we rode with my parents," you said, still in a daze from what he said.

"we're riding with harper and cody back," was all he said.

harper unlocked the doors for you and mat but didn't even bother asking why the two of you decided to switch rides.

the drive back to your childhood home was pretty quiet save for the country music playing softly over the radio. it wasn't your favorite genre, but you weren't going to complain.

by the time you made it home, you were exhausted. mat trailed you up the stairs after locking the front door behind him because harper mentioned something about taking cody back to their apartment instead of staying.

when he finally walked in the room, you were already changing out of your shorts. maybe it was a testament to how tired you were, or how long you had known each other that made you not give a shit about changing in front of him. you did, however, try to stay decent, so you waited until you had your pajama shirt on to remove your bra before sliding into bed.

mat had apparently walked out of the room to change while you had your back to the door because he came walking back in wearing basketball shorts and a tee shirt, like he did the other nights.

"you okay?" he asked, getting in to bed and sliding next to you. he bumped his shoulder with yours.

"why wouldn't i be?" but you wouldn't look him in the eyes.

"c'mon," he said. "you can be honest with me. i'm your best friend."

your eyes watered at his words, the ones he spoke in front of your family, and the ones he spoke just then. "thank you," was all you could get out.

he pulled you into his arms and for a moment, you were taken back to similar circumstances.

like when you watched marley and me. or when your neighbor with the cute dog moved away.

mat had always been there.

"what're you thanking me for?"

"no one's ever stood up to her like that."

mat scoffed. "i wasn't just gonna let her disrespect our relationship like that, real or fake." he kissed the top of your head. "i almost didn't say anything, wanted to keep the peace, but then i saw the look on your face and couldn't keep quiet."

"what look?"

"the kicked puppy look." you looked up at him as his thumb stroked a line on your cheek. something must've passed over your face because his thumb stopped its motion. "what?" you sighed and shook your head. "c'mon," he said. "you can tell me."

you sighed. "i just--i don't want her to take you away."

mat tilted your chin up and ducked his head down so your foreheads touched. "you're not gonna lose me, especially not to your cousin, okay?" you nodded. "i need to hear you say it, baby."

but how could you talk when he called you by pet names? how could you breathe when you could kiss him if you just lifted your chin.

damn.

did he know the effect he had on you?

"baby," he prompted.

"okay," you said. "i trust you."

"and that's all i ask." he kissed your forehead and pulled away, all too soon if anyone asked you. "now, let's watch a movie, i need to destress after tonight."

you settled into the pillows and laid your head on mat's chest as he scrolled through netflix with one hand; the other arm was wrapped around your back.

the wedding

the next two days were spent with you and mat walking around the city, nothing noteworthy happened.

but you woke up on the day of the wedding dreading what was to come.

the ceremony itself wasn't until that night, which gave you the entire day to worry about angela and mat.

his words should've comforted you, but you were too caught up in why you cared. he was your best friend, angela didn't want him that way. and mat was too loyal to let a girl come between your friendship, he never let it happen with his previous girlfriends.

but there would be times when you wouldn't be together that night. could you honestly expect mat to hang around the women's bathroom every time you needed to use it? you were lucky he got along with your brother and your grandmother as well as he did, but your grandmother would definitely leave early and cody would definitely ditch anyone in a heartbeat if it meant he'd get laid.

"you okay?" mat asked, placing his hands on your shoulders as you stared in the bathroom mirror. "you've been in here a minute. at first i thought you were taking a shit, but you left the door open." he rested his head on top of yours and made eye contact with you in the mirror.

"just stressed about tonight," you admitted.

"you got nothing to stress over, you got me, and we're not getting married. we'll just get drunk and party. sounds like a great time to me!"

"god, if i'm like this at someone else's wedding, i can't imagine what i'd be like at my own."

mat shrugged. "i wouldn't let you be stressed. i’d make sure to give you the wedding you want."

you pulled away and turned around, brows pulled together like attracting magnets. "wouldn’t that be weird though? you making sure my wedding was what i wanted?"

"considering it would be my wedding too, no i don't think it would be weird." he shrugged and said it so casually, you almost didn't register what he said. but when it sunk in, your cheeks heated up and you broke eye contact before lightly shoving him away.

"you're such a flirt," you said, hoping it wouldn't give away the way your heart raced in your chest.

"doesn't mean it isn't true!" he called after you. mat flicked on the fan and shut the door. "now watch a movie, i don't want you to hear me shit."

"we're not even in the same room, dipshit!" you laughed before heading back to your room and turning on netflix.

mat joined you after about ten minutes in the bathroom and the two of you watched a movie until your parents shouted from downstairs to start getting ready.

you got ready in the bathroom simply because that was where you makeup was. mat took the bedroom simply because it was easier. you put on your dress, fluffing out the ends to make sure no part of it was wrinkled before you started on your makeup.

you were finished rather quickly, mainly because mat kept calling your name like a child, waiting for you to fix his tie because he didn't know how to.

when you walked out of the bathroom, though, mat met you in the hallway. his eyes were focused on the tie in his hands until he heard the door open. he glanced up and his jaw dropped.

"fuck," he mumbled.

you could feel the heat going up your chest and your neck until it settled in your face. "do i look okay?"

mat swallowed and nodded. your normally chatty best friend was rendered speechless for the first time since you met him. he cleared his throat and gestured to you. "i knew buying that dress was a good move."

you rolled your eyes and smiled as you walked over to him. you took the tie out of his hand and wrapped it around his neck, tying a windsor knot until it was snug against his throat.

"i think you're trying to choke me."

you scoffed. "if you learned how to tie a tie, this wouldn't be a problem."

"if i learned how to tie a tie, i wouldn't have an excuse to be this close to you." his hands snaked around your waist and pulled your hips close to his.

"you should know you don't need an excuse to get close to me." you tried out the flirtation a little, unsure if he was joking or not, but given how his eyes lit up just a bit, you were pretty confident he was serious.

"baby--"

"sweetheart! we need to be leaving soon!" your mother called up the stairs.

you and mat sprung apart like the other had spontaneously caught on fire. neither of you would make eye contact too embarrassed to have been interrupted by your mother. though you couldn't meet each other's eyes, you managed to see mat gesture for you to go down the stairs first.

"you both look so cute!" your mother gushed as both you and mat entered the living room. "go stand in front of the fireplace! i have to get your picture."

you rolled your eyes. "mom, this isn't prom night." but mat was already tugging you over to where your mom was pointing and wrapping and arm around your waist.

your mom snapped a few pictures before hurrying the two of you and your father out the door. the wedding didn't start for another hour, but the venue was thirty minutes away and your mom wanted to make sure your aunt wasn't going to have an aneurysm.

mat held your hand as you walked down the front porch stairs towards the car. his grip was tight and firm. when you finally joined him on the sidewalk, you expected him to drop his hand, but he held onto it even tighter, lightly swinging it between your bodies.

he didn't let go until you got into the back seat of your mom's car.

he lightly chatted with your parents while you stared at the space between the two of you. the entire week had your mind whirling, you two were just friends, but sharing a bed, the physical closeness, the flirting, the near kisses, it was all driving you insane.

sure, you thought mat was good looking, but you'd long given up the hope that he'd ever like you. he was mat and you were you. even if there wasn't a large disparity between your perception of both of your physical attributes, you still would've felt the divide.

he was everything, practically your best friend.

and that alone was too important for you to risk on some juvenile feelings.

mat nudged you with his elbow. "you okay? you've been quiet."

you blinked back into the present, noting that your mother had turned on abba and was singing to dancing queen while your father hummed the tune under his breath. both of them were too distracted to notice or hear mat's question.

you nodded, meeting his eyes briefly before looking away, too scared to get caught in their orbit once more. "yeah," you said. "just thinking."

"uh oh. that's not good," he joked. but you didn't laugh. his face turned serious and he nudged you once more before grabbing your hand in his own. "you can tell me anything, you know that right?"

"of course," you replied.

he squeezed your hand twice and didn't let go until you got out of the car.

as your father pulled into the parking lot, you got a good view of the venue. a large building with tall windows and music blasting throughout the open doors.

once you got inside, your eyes were immediately overwhelmed by the visual stimulation of large flower arrangements everywhere with the most pricey looking lighting fixtures dangling from the ceiling.

it was extravagant, and everything you would've expected angela's wedding to look like.

"oh god," mat mumbled under his breath, loud enough just for you to hear. he leaned down, placing his hand on the small of your back. "remind me not to do this much at my wedding."

you rolled your eyes. "what if it's what your bride wants?"

he paused. "do you want something like this?"

"god no."

"then i don't need to worry."

you lightly shoved his shoulder. "quit joking."

"who said i was joking?" he asked.

you stared at him until your dad cleared his throat and reminded the two of you that you still needed to find your seats at the ceremony.

"honey," your mother grabbed your arm. "do you want to come with me to see angela? i'm just gonna check on her and your aunt to make sure everything is ready and together."

you were shaking your head before she could even finish getting the words out. "nope."

"honey, it's your cousin's wedding."

"and she didn't even make me a bridesmaid. i'm sure she'll be fine waiting until the reception to see me."

"i thought you weren't angry about that! i told you not to take it personal."

it took every ounce of will not to roll your eyes. mainly because mat was standing there, and if you let it slip how frustrated you were, he might step in and make your mom hate him. "i don't care, mom. but if she wanted me to see her before the wedding, she would've made her part of her bridal party. but she didn't so i'll see her when she walks down the aisle." with that off your chest, you grabbed mat's hand and marched towards the group of chairs where the ceremony would take place.

you quickly chose a seat close enough to see the actual ceremony happen without being too close that you could see angela promise her life away to the ex she stole from you.

"that was intense," mat commented. "you sure you're okay?"

you sighed and contemplated putting your face in your hands if it wasn't for the makeup you put on earlier. "i don't know why she wants me and angela to act like we're best friends, it's gone on like this for our entire lives, but it's never worked. angela has never liked me, and i'm tired of pretending like it's my fault. i don't even know what i did to make her constantly try to undermine me."

mat looked around before grabbing your hand and tugging you towards what you guessed were the bathrooms, away from the prying eyes of nosy guests.

"it's not your fault," he said, bending down so you could look each other in the eyes. "there's nothing wrong with you, either, okay? she's blind if she can't see how amazing you are. and your mom is wrong for trying to force a friendship. you understand?"

you nodded.

"i need to hear you say it, baby."

"i understand." a beat later. "thanks, mat."

he kissed your forehead and grabbed your hand. "anytime."

the two of you found your old seats taken by an older couple, so you sat in the same row as cody and harper who had shown up while you were gone.

the wedding started shortly thereafter with your parents joining you in the same row. your mother looked relatively calm for what you knew had to be a shitshow in the back room. angela was very particular, and while there was nothing wrong with that were it anyone else, your cousin's strong opinions often stressed your mother and aunt out.

the music started playing and the bridesmaids started walking down the aisle with the groomsmen and owen. you didn't recognize most of the girls, probably because you hadn't been around angela's friends since high school and you never came to her birthday parties after you graduated (not that she invited you anyway). the one bridesmaid you did recognize was meredith from the dress shop. she looked beautiful in her lilac dress. and her smile did nothing to giveaway what chaos the dressing room was in before she walked out.

with everyone in their places at the front, the music changed tune. every guest, including you, stood to their feet and turned around. everyone watched as the double doors opened and angela came walking down the aisle in a princess gown with her father escorting her.

she smiled brightly, probably basking in the attention she was receiving. she didn't even look at owen until she got close enough to the front that there was no one else for her to smile at.

i'd do it differently, you thought. when i get married, i won't be able to take my eyes off his face.

the officiant told everyone to sit and continued on with the ceremony. you mostly blocked it out, peering at mat who looked more interested in the ceremony than you were. he caught your stare a few times and smirked before grabbing hold of your hand and kissing the back of it.

and your heart soared every time.

mat was an affectionate friend, this much you knew. anytime you picked him up from a roadie, or when he came over after you just got back into town, he'd hold you in a death grip hug for five minutes at the very least. most of the hugs involved the two of you swaying side to side with mat mumbling how much he missed you into your neck.

all that to say, you weren't a stranger to his affection.

you were, however, unused to the kisses and pet names, all of which started as soon as you introduced him to your family.

it was the crowd cheering that startled you out of your stupor. you glanced at the front to see owen dipping angela in a kiss while the photographer captured the moment.

and maybe it was the bitterness in your chest speaking for the teenager who lost her first serious boyfriend, but the kiss itself looked more performative than like true love.

mat extended a hand to you when you realized everyone was standing and heading to the tables to eat.

"you alright?" he asked once your hand was secured in his own. "you keep zoning out."

you shrugged. "just thinking."

"about?"

"how do you know if you love someone?" you asked, replaying angela and owen's kiss in your mind. you were so preoccupied, you didn't notice mat scratching the back of his head and blushing.

"well, you uh," he stuttered. "why're you asking me? haven't you been in love before?"

he wouldn't meet your eyes, his own kept focusing on avoiding bumping into people as you made your way to an open table. mat pulled your chair out and didn't sit down until you did.

"i don't know," you continued on. "i thought i was, but i never saw forever with those guys."

"thank god," he mumbled.

"what?"

he looked up all doe eyed and innocent. "hm?"

"what did you say?"

he shrugged. "i didn't say anything. you must be hearing things."

you rolled your eyes, but the smile on your lips said you weren't really bothered by his lies.

cody and harper joined you at the table; your parents took the last two seats. all six of you sipped at the water on the table and waited for your dinners to be ready.

"so," harper started. "what did everyone think of the ceremony?"

you could've groaned, not because you weren't interested in weddings, you loved them.

just not angela's.

and talking about all the beautiful aspects of it sounded like a violation of your eighth amendment rights.

"oh it was so gorgeous, she looked fantastic," your mother supplied, fawning over your cousin as usual. but it was when she looked around the room before she leaned into the table that your attention was piqued. "patty was scared the wedding would need to be called off. said something about how owen was getting cold feet, she wouldn't say why though."

were you a horrible person for internally rejoicing at angela's possible stressor?

maybe just a little.

but you'd taken the high road your entire life. so in your opinion, it was warranted and earned.

mat nudged your knee with his. "at least look concerned," he mumbled with a smirk playing on his lips.

"i do! i am!" you said just loud enough for him to hear. mat looked at you until you cracked under his gaze. "okay, so i might be just a little smug, sue me."

he rolled his eyes, but the smile playing on his lips said he was far from annoyed.

your family continued to make idle chatter until the dj started announcing the bridal party. it wasn't anything that hadn't been done before; the bridesmaids and groomsmen danced their way into the room. moments later, angela and owen came in with their hands riased and cheering along with everyone else. your entire table joined in with the other guests and clapped and hollered until it was no longer socially acceptable.

dinner came out shortly thereafter.

again, it was nothing that hadn't been done before. a simple pasta dish with a side salad wasn't anything to celebrate. the food was absolutely delicious, you wouldn't lie about that, it was just interesting that angela, who prided herself on being different, had planned a party that didn't even crack your top ten favorite weddings.

but she'd never sought your approval anyway, so why would she start now?

you were shocked out of your intense thoughtfulness by an arm wrapping around your shoulder. mat didn't even look phased as he pulled you just a little closer to him, talking with your dad about the upcoming season like they'd been friends for ages.

the weight of his arm was comforting, reminding you of times he'd slung it across your shoulders after a game and pressed a kiss to your temple or when you sat next to each other at bars.

others had looked at your relationship with a microscope. sydney and grace both had asked multiple times if there was something more with the two of you and looked skeptical whenever you gave them a funny look while saying no.

he was your best friend, always would be so long as you never fucked anything up.

"how's your pasta?" mat asked.

you blinked. "same as yours."

he rolled his eyes yet again and kissed your temple. "smart ass," he mumbled against your skin.

dinner was barely over when music started playing, marking the sign of the first dance. angela and owen danced to "can't help falling in love" while everyone looked on. they didn't talk, they seldom even smiled until, like they were suddenly struck by electricity, they remembered they were being photographed and had all eyes on them.

you bided your time, sipping the water in your glass, because you knew mat was gonna drag your ass onto the dance floor like he had before at other parties and weddings.

sure enough, as soon as the song ended and the party music started, mat's hand was in yours, tugging you towards the center of the floor.

you dragged your feet as a front, just wanting to prolong the feeling of his palm encircling your own. you didn't know the name of the song, just like you didn't understand the light feeling in your stomach when mat pulled you close and placed his hands on your waist.

"in case i forgot to tell you," he shouted into your ear over the pumping music. "you look really pretty tonight."

you could feel the heat crawl up your neck. you ducked your head so you couldn't see him, but he pulled your chin up to look him in the eyes.

"don't get shy on me now," he teased, though his eyes weren't full of mirth like they usually were. they were soft, like sunlight filtered through a bedroom window. "come dance with me."

the two of you danced, hips shaking and moving to the beat of the music. mat always had a grip on you, whether he was twirling you around or had both hands on your hips.

you couldn't remember ever having this much fun at a wedding.

who would've thought it would've been angela's wedding?

but the music slowed down, usually signaling that it was your time to sit back down until hey ya! came on. so you made a move to step off the dance floor and head back to where your brother sat nursing a glass of bourbon, but it was a callused hand that kept you in place.

"where do you think you're going, baby?" he asked, a smirk playing on his lips. "you owe me a dance."

you hesitated, knowing that in the past, you'd danced the night away, but with him here, in front of your family, with your grandmother giving you a smile, you didn't know you could fake it any longer. you couldn't keep pretending that you weren't completely infatuated, overcome with love for your best friend.

your hand would've started shaking had he not had a steady grip on you.

mat pulled you close. "c'mon, i won't even step on your toes. i promise."

you relented and let him pull you back into the middle of the floor. he placed his hands on your waist and, for a moment, you thought you were dreaming. in another life, you'd be wearing white and be the prettiest person in the room. in another life, you'd have matching gold bands on your fourth fingers.

in another life, he'd be yours.

you wrapped your hands around the back on his neck, playing with the hair there absentmindedly.

"you're far away," he said. "come back to earth for a minute. what're you thinking about?"

you shrugged. "wondering if i'll ever get this," you answered honestly, even going as far as looking him in the eyes as you spoke.

"you'll get it," he said without a doubt in the world to be found. "i'll make sure of it."

"what about you? do you want something like this?"

he glanced around the room, eyes landing on the newly married couple in the center. "not if i'm not marrying you."

you blinked, heart in your throat. he looked so honest, but you'd known him long enough, seen who he's dated too many times, to know he was joking.

he had to be.

right?

so you laughed, closing your eyes and tilting your head back so that you unintentionally missed the small look of confusion married with hurt on mat's face. you did it to protect yourself, to keep yourself from getting hurt, and unintentionally hurting him in the process.

"i can never tell when you're joking, barzy," you smiled, hoping it covered the shake in your voice.

"but i--"

"may i cut in?" you glanced to your left and saw your smiling grandmother.

"oh i--" mat stuttered, flustered in a way you'd never seen before.

"sure!" you interrupted his train of thought. "i have to pee anyway."

besides, mat was probably safest with her anyway. angela wouldn't try anything while your grandmother was standing there.

you stepped away, waist feeling cold from the lack of contact and made your way towards the bathrooms.

it wasn't that hard to find the restroom, it was just a longer hallway. but it was far enough from the reception that the music was only a faint bass noise.

you walked into the bathroom and did your business. fluffing your hair and fixing your dress in the mirror when you'd finished washing your hands. you opened the door and saw shiny black shoes before you saw the man standing across from the woman's bathroom.

"owen?" you asked. "the men's bathroom is a little further down the hall."

"i know," he said, pushing off the wall to move closer to you.

red flag.

"what?" you asked, moving slightly out of the way so he couldn't push you back into the bathroom. "have you been drinking?"

"sober as a judge."

you furrowed your brows. "what?"

he took another step closer to you while you quickly turned so your back was no longer against a wall, but towards the party. if he kept advancing towards you, the weird tension would soon be out in the open and surely he would stop then.

right?

"i'm sorry for what i did back in high school."

"owen, what are you talking about?"

"for cheating on you. you're all i've ever wanted and it's my biggest regret to this day that i ever let you go."

you were gonna be sick.

"owen, you don't know what you're talking about. you love angela. you got married to angela. she is your wife."

"but i want you." he reached out to touch your hair but you backed up quick enough to just miss his hand.

"no you don't," you said. "you decided i wasn't enough nearly ten years ago."

"but you looked so good and so happy with him, with max or whatever his name is--"

"--mat--"you corrected.

"--it made me miss us. don't you miss me?"

"i don't even know who you are anymore, owen! that person you knew in high school isn't me anymore, and you don't get to decide you want me now just because i'm happy and you aren't."

"we were so good together!"

"we were sixteen, owen! we were children."

"but--"

"i gave you just about everything i could possibly give, and you decided it wasn't enough. you decided to get with my cousin while we were dating instead of breaking up with me. you decided to marry her. and now you get to live with that decision." you spun on your heel and were met with mat's stare. even in the dim lighting, you could see his jaw clenched.

"mat," you breathed like it was your last breath.

"you okay?" he asked.

"yeah," you said. "just telling owen where the bathroom was."

you both knew it was a lie, especially if the look on mat's face was any indication, he'd probably heard enough of the conversation. you allowed yourself to be guided back to the recpetion with mat's hand firmly placed on the small of your back.

you two kept dancing until it was time to send angela and owen off. while mat gathered your things, you said goodbye to your extended family members because you two were leaving tomorrow afternoon to head back to new york.

which scared you.

this last week had been amazing. pretending and playing house with mat meant unlocking feelings you'd pretended didn't exist for the entire duration of your friendship. and while you wished you'd never unlocked pandora's box, part of you was happy you could never go back.

a warm and weathered hand tugged on your forearm and snapped you out of your reverie. "don't let that boy go." when you looked down, your grandmother was staring at you with earnest eyes. "he loves you the way you deserve to be loved."

your eyes welled up with tears as you hugged her. "thanks, grandma."

"i mean it. don't come back without him, you hear me? i need great grand babies soon."

you flushed at the idea and whined. "please don't tell me you said that to him!"

but she didn't answer you, she just laughed.

"you ready?" mat asked, walking over with your brother and harper following closely behind. "cody said he'd give us a ride home."

"treat my baby right, mathew," your grandmother said. "or else i'll have to fly to new york and kill you, you hear?"

he smiled. "yes ma'am."

you hugged your grandmother tight. "i love you."

"love you more."

mat ushered you outside, following behind cody and harper to their car. none of you were interested in the send off, even if was only going to take a few seconds.

the four of you got into cody's car and drove off before your parents could admonish you for leaving early. cody and harper talked amongst themselves about bills and what their own wedding would look like whenever cody proposed (and if you knew him like you thought you did, it would be soon) while you and mat just held hands in the backseat.

it was weird, the physical touch even when no one was looking. but you weren't complaining about it, if anything, you were clinging to it, scared that once it finally ended you'd go into withdrawal.

cody parked outside of your parents house and let you and mat in before driving off. you headed upstairs, with mat on your tail, ready to get undressed and to curl up in bed with a stupid movie.

"that was fun," mat said. "did you have fun?"

you sat down on your bed and started taking off your shoes. "i always have fun when i'm with you," you said absentmindedly. a moment of silence passed. you looked up to see mat shifting from side to side. "are you okay?"

"what did owen want?" he asked honestly.

you sighed and stood up, walking towards him. "i'm not even sure. he started professing how much he missed me, but i shut it down because i don't have feelings for him."

a glimmer of hope. "you don't?"

"nope."

he nodded. "good."

you took a deep breath and stepped closer to him. "i could never go through with it anyway, i'm in love with someone else." please please please don't let this past week be a joke to him. please let him be a horrible actor.

he stared at you.

a moment of silence.

his eyes searched your own, like they were looking for something.

you could feel the tears well up in your eyes at the thought of his rejection. you'd take being heartbroken, but you couldn't take losing your best friend.

and then.

his hands were on your cheeks, his lips were on yours, and your heart had jumped into your throat. your arms wrapped around his neck and into his hair.

when you finally broke apart for air, mat was smiling. "i'm guessing you were talking about me?" he asked, though the smug tone in his voice said he didn't actually need to know the answer. not when the kiss had already confirmed his suspicions.

"you're such an ass," you jokingly shoved him away, but he caught your hand and used it to pull you back in, to kiss you once more.

"but this ass loves you." he paused. "that sounded a lot more romantic in my head than it did coming out."

but you smiled anyway. "this ass loves you too, barzy."

and two years later, standing in front of everyone in a white dress, you couldn't help but smile. lying usually got you in trouble, but you couldn't have imagined a better ending.

[sokkastyles]

Just saw a post where someone took someone else's post and said that they were "projecting" onto Katara because the OP said that if they were in Katara's position when they were kissed by Aang in EIP after making it clear that she didn't want to be kissed, they wouldn't forgive Aang.

And the thing is, that first of all, projecting isn't a dirty word, it's a normal way to relate to fictional narratives. Second, we actually don't see Katara forgive Aang or even address the kiss in any way other than after she looks upset and angry and then runs out of the room. Audiences can ONLY project onto Katara because we don't actually get to see the resolution to that event from Katara's perspective. We assume she forgave him because she gets together with him in the end, but we aren't actually shown it and we know that they would be endgame whether or not the kiss had happened. Katara's forgiveness of Aang doesn't feel organic because she doesn't actually get the chance to forgive him, so of course audiences are going to question it.

Third, it's actually quite common now for writers and producers to consult audience members, especially those who fit the demographic of a character, on whether that character's actions seem plausible. This is especially true if the writers themselves aren't representatives of that demographic. Katara's actions were written by male writers, so it's not up to them to give the final word on what a teenage girl would do upon being kissed without consent, it is up to female fans to decide whether that rings true. The fact that the writers didn't even bother to show us Katara's perspective further highlights the lack of a female perspective being considered here.

The post in question also said that what Aang did didn't actually hurt Katara, and that she was just "annoyed and angry," but not hurt. And I feel like people who argue this in favor of Katara and Aang's relationship are actually downplaying the relationship quite a bit. Because if Katara loves Aang, she'd feel a whole lot more than annoyed upon being kissed by him after expressing that she was confused and felt that it wasn't the right time. She'd feel incredibly betrayed, she'd feel like he didn't listen to her. She might even question her relationship with him further and start to back away from the feelings of love that she was already hesitant to express, because what Aang is showing her is that he doesn't actually care about how she feels and isn't going to be careful with her feelings if she were to truly give her heart to him. The EIP kiss actually does A LOT of damage to Katara and Aang's relationship, and the fact that it's never actually addressed does even more damage.

I mean, if Katara didn't really care about Aang kissing her without her consent, I'm not sure why I should care about their relationship at all.

The post also brought up that Zuko has done worse to Katara but she forgave him. The thing is that we actually SAW Zuko earn Katara's forgiveness. This is a relationship I can get behind because the show cares about it. The show cares that Zuko hurt Katara and cares about whether or not he gets her forgiveness. Zuko and Katara would not have had a relationship at all without that conflict and its resolution. The show tells me that these two characters care about each other, and it does it without any sort of romantic drama AND without having the guy sexually assault her.

[misguidedswagger]

little dove (anakin skywalker x reader angst)

a/n: hi! welcome to my first anakin fic! i saw that he won the poll so im ngl i hit the bowl and closed my eyes for a second and now we have this!!! this was originally based off a prompt: "why are you lying to me?" and it ended up taking me about four days to complete this! i really really hope you guys enjoy this! this has become my favorite piece i've ever written. lmk if you'd like to see more <3 warnings: f!reader, angst, swearing, padmé is NOT nice in this, god forgive me i'm so sorry padmé. it hurt my heart to write her in such a way lowkey , forbidden romance, broken promises,

masterlist

w/c:8.5k

“little…dove?”

“i think it suits you. don’t you realize the symbolism of doves?”

“i’m afraid that i don’t, master.”

“to me, my young padawan, you represent peace, love, and freedom: some things i’m afraid the galaxy is lacking.”

—

y/n was laying on anakin’s lap and feeding him grapes on her balcony, the duo basking in the sun’s warmth together. neither one spoke, more than comfortable in the silence of each other. their shared time together had become habitual, but only recently did the pair realize that they felt more towards each other, more than simply padawan and master.

the sun shined brightly through anakin’s hair, the sun illuminating his blond curls and almost making them appear golden. streaks of sunshine broke through anakin’s loose curls, highlighting y/n’s beautiful e/c eyes in the bright sunshine. y/n lost herself in the jedi’s features for a moment, unable to form any other coherent thoughts besides wow, entirely unaware that anakin was thinking the same about her. 

"what? is something on my face?" his voice a low rumble, disturbing y/n from her reverie, that signature smirk of his spread wide across his cheeks. she only smiled warmly in reply before speaking,

"beauty." it was y/n’s turn to smirk now, at the sight of anakin's cheeks flushing pink right before her eyes. it was the cutest thing y/n had ever seen and she wanted to be sure to commit the sight to memory. “you’d think the almighty chosen one would recognize my honesty through the force,” y/n teased, lightly prodding anakin’s chest, still adjusting to his new uniform.

anakin leaned down and kissed y/n’s hand that held the grapes softly, before stealing the grape from her fingers with his lips, eliciting a soft giggle from the padawan. “I think you might be feeling under the weather if you truly believe that,” anakin teased back lightheartedly. 

a familiar sequence of beeps and boops interrupted y/n before she could reply, watching as the droid that was always at anakin’s side approached the two from inside the woman’s quarters. it had been on y/n’s to do list to commit herself to fluently learning binary, but alas, she once again had to turn to her master for the translation of what r2 said, just as always.

with a loud groan, anakin’s head dropped and his body nearly folded in half, his arms wrapping around y/n tighter so as to not knock her over from the sudden influx of weight she had to bear. based on his annoyance, y/n frowned and finally replied, 

“you’re being summoned again, aren’t you?” y/n spoke, the frown on her face only deepening upon noticing anakin’s subtle nod. she pushed the jedi upward off herself, sitting up to give him a tight hug. she forced herself to smile hopefully as she spoke, reaching a hand up to push a stray, golden curl behind his ear, “will i see you later?” 

“of course you will, my little dove. i’ll be back before you even know it, then we can have a lovely dinner together before evening training.” anakin promised before he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, his gloved, metal hand on the back of her head to maintain some semblance of intimacy as long as he could. y/n closed her eyes and enjoyed anakin’s presence while she had it, leaning into his touch. 

“i hate having to hide how much i love you, ani.” y/n said dejectedly, hoping that she'd finally be able to hear the words from him. anakin starting to rub the apples of her cheeks in a soothing manner, his gaze softening as the pad of his thumb continued to rub comforting circles on y/n’s cheek. the nickname she’d created for him made his heart skip a beat, his smile only widening. 

“i promise you’ll see me later, okay?” y/n reluctantly motioned to stand with a soft nod, watching as her master stood. anakin extended his hand to help y/n stand, the woman gladly taking any opportunity to touch her secret lover and master.

y/n tugged anakin down by his shoulders, her hands resting on his new armor. she let her fingers run over the plate, in awe of anakin and his achievements. he never failed to disappoint or surprise her. 

“i don’t think i ever had the chance to tell you, but i’m so proud of you for becoming a general, master. i knew you could do it. i can’t wait for what’s to come.” y/n said, a warm smile across her face despite how sad she was to see him leave. she let her hands rest on the armor for a minute, her eyes meeting his. she looked into those bright blue eyes of his, feeling herself melt into a puddle at that gaze,  the one reserved for her.

anakin only smiled, pulling y/n into his arms, holding her tight—-so tight that it seemed like she would float away if he let up in the slightest. y/n pulled away slightly to hold the general’s face in her hands, connecting his lips with her own. 

—

y/n was in her bedroom, pacing back and forth anxiously. even when he couldn’t immediately return to her, she always heard when anakin left and returned from missions, whether it was through 3po, r2, or gods, even obi-wan! it was driving her more than a little insane crazy that it was deep into the hours of the early morning and she’d heard nothing from her anakin. he promised that’d he’d be back in time to have a nice dinner with her before their nightly training, yet here she was, pacing back and forth, alone, in the darkness of her quarters.

the walls felt suffocating, as if she were confined in them. y/n felt her master’s presence on the planet, but she hadn’t heard from him. was he hiding from me? she couldn’t stop the anxious thoughts that had begun to swirl in her mind and abdomen, anxious nausea filling her body. no. she reminded herself, closing her eyes to steady her thoughts. she forced herself to remember her training, how to balance emotions as they came and letting them go before they fester after acknowledgment. it was beyond difficult and her optimism was starting to lose its spark, despite her hopeful nature wanting to assume this was simply anakin testing her. she was fighting herself to not spiral, which was seeming to be a difficult battle for the young padawan.

arguably, the worst part of being in a secret relationship with anakin was how y/n could never openly be his. she could never be whisked away on dates, never be kissed or hugged in public, she would only ever be viewed as general anakin skywalker’s padawan. she was a secret as far as she was concerned.  the anxious thoughts continued to violate her mind before a memory from before she began her training with the general hit the back of her eyelids,

“y/n, trust me! being my lady in waiting would be so much fun! you wouldn’t have to do anywhere near as much as you’d think! you could leave behind all the fighting and rough housing, you could live lavishly with me! can’t you imagine how great it would be to have an official position next to your best friend? especially as a force-sensitive person, oh you’d be perfect, a force to be reckoned with.” padmé held y/n’s hands tightly, her eyes searching her best friend’s for what emotion she was feeling. “can’t you just imagine it?!” the older encouraged excitedly, her grip on y/n’s hands tightening ever so slightly before her expression faltered at the sight of y/n not sharing her reaction. “i’ve gathered more of an understanding of how things work after a full term as queen, and y/n, i feel you would really thrive by my side.”  

“padmé, it’s not that i don’t wish to be your lady in waiting, really, I think it’d be grand, but, how i wish you’d asked me just a day sooner. as of yesterday, i’ve been invited to become general skywalker’s padawan.” y/n admitted, the excitement in her eyes prompting a storm of emotion in the queen. but, instead of speaking her mind, like she always did, padmé decided to withhold her true opinion, unbeknownst to her best friend. the queen forced a smile, remembering the day she’d met skywalker as a padawan, the day her own life had changed and he had stolen her heart.

jealousy coursed through the queen’s blood for the first time in her life. she’d never envied anyone, nor had she ever acted in her own self interest. it almost hurt her to be jealous of y/n, someone she’d known longer than she’d been queen of naboo, her childhood best friend. padmé’s mind raced with thoughts she knew she shouldn’t have had and instead of stopping them, for once, she let herself be selfish and indulge in them.

“wow, y/n! i’m so excited for you! the general is truly one of the most lovely jedi i’ve ever met. you’re going to become one of the strongest there are, especially at anakin’s side!” padmé wrapped her arms around y/n, her grip similar to that of a fully grown python. “i’m so proud of you, y/n/n.” 

y/n smiled, squeezing the queen back tightly, relieved that her friend wasn’t upset at her. “ to tell you the truth, i’m ecstatic about this opportunity. thank you for being so understanding about this, padmé.” y/n spoke, her relief palpable. the queen’s grip only tightened at her thanks, a smirk making its way onto her face as she rested her chin on y/n’s shoulder.

“you have nothing to thank me for, y/n. i promise.”  

as the memory faded away from the forefront of her mind, y/n had half a mind to close her eyes and let the force guide her to anakin, but as soon as the thought crossed her mind, the door swung open to reveal just the man who had been consuming her every waking hour, thoughts, and feelings.

“maker, anakin, i was so worried about you.” y/n approached her master, extending her arms in the direction of him for a hug. the general happily indulged in the contact, pulling y/n into his warm arms. she fought the urge to nuzzle her face into his chest, letting his presence alone soothe her anxiety.

“you’re shaking.” anakin observed, pulling away slightly to look into his padawan’s e/c eyes, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. it was his own quiet way of telling her he expected an answer to his statement. he was worried, y/n could gather that  much from his tone. 

“i just missed you is all,” y/n answered a little quicker than she intended, hoping her master wouldn’t catch onto how she’d already had an answer prepared for his question. 

“your words tell me one thing, yet your body language defies you. why are you lying to me, y/n?” anakin asked, nudging her chin with his forefinger and thumb, her chin balanced in the empty space in between his fingers to make her look him in the eye. his words extracted the breath in her lungs, y/n’s head hanging in shame as she realized she was caught.

“what happened tonight? why were you so late? what about our plans?” y/n fought the tremble in her voice, though she wanted nothing more than for anakin to hold her close and reassure her as she fell apart in those strong arms of his. 

guilt cast over anakin’s face like a shadow, “i’m so sorry, little dove. i was escorting the queen to a…” hearing the first half of anakin’s explanation sent a wave of nausea through y/n’s body. it seemed as of lately, her best friend wanted nothing to do with her, and only her master. it made her feel sick to her stomach, especially because padmé had reassured y/n that nothing was going on between the two of them, and the girl still felt this bothered by it. 

but, she saw the way padmé looked at him. it was the same way y/n looked at anakin. but, she said nothing. its not like she would jeopardize her second term as queen, just for him, right? y/n was anxious, she was only falling victim to her emotions, right? anakin would remain loyal to her, there was no way he wouldn’t.

right​?

“hey.” there was anakin’s sweet voice again, ringing through the chaos of her mind, the only thing she could see and hear clearly, “tell me what’s on your mind.” anakin leaned down a bit, trying to catch y/n’s dancing gaze before ultimately sighing quietly and tilting her head to look into his eyes again. 

“you left me all alone, no contact. i could feel that you were here on the planet, why didn’t you immediately tell me when you came back like always? you were late, its early morning now, and you promised to be home before dinner and our lesson. can you really blame me for being so upset, anakin?” y/n gently breathed through her emotions, remembering her training despite her anxious and heavy heart. she pulled away from anakin’s touch, electing to cross her arms over her chest instead.

the general took a step forward, grabbing y/n’s wrist and tugging her forward, spinning her into his arms before he leaned in and cupped y/n’s face. he rested his forehead against her own, his free hand on her waist, “i’m sorry for being late, my love. will you let me make it up to you?” he whispered sweetly to her, placing gentle kisses all over her face. “let me make you something to eat, then i’m all yours for the rest of the day. i promise.” anakin ran his hand through her hair gently, being careful to not tug on her hair too harshly as he awaited her answer. y/n almost melted at the action, closing her eyes for a moment to enjoy the calming sensation. after a few moments, before she let herself be lulled to sleep while standing, y/n finally conceded,

“fine. but make my favorite.”

—

“what do you mean you’re stepping down from a third term? padmé, the people are advocating to change the law for you to be allowed a third term–” y/n asked her best friend in disbelief, her brows knitted together tightly as she processed what padmé was saying. 

“i mean, that i feel like i’d be more helpful to my people if i were involved in more of the political side of things,” she answered, her tone unnecessarily rude. it almost startled y/n, as padmé was hardly ever short with her. but then again, y/n had noticed that the nature of their relationship started to change when she had become anakin’s padawan. but there was no way that was the reason their over ten year long friendship was rocky, absolutely no way at all. 

y/n reminded herself of her training once more. only siths deal in absolutes, the words of master obi-wan kenobi as fresh in her mind as the day he’d drilled them into her brain, over two years ago: an off-the-cuff comment the day she was inducted as general skywalker’s padawan. 

“what’s wrong, padmé? i feel you and i have been drifting apart, especially as of your last term. you never talk to me anymore, are you okay?” y/n asked, her tone concerned as she placed a gentle hand on the queen’s senator’s shoulder, the worry in her gaze evident. y/n’s worry was soon replaced with shock and a lightning strike to the heart as she watched padmé’s previously neutral expression be overtaken with disgust at y/n’s touch. 

the padawan dropped her hand as if she had been burnt from padmé’s shoulder and she forced her heart to harden. the woman stiffened as padmé finally answered her question, “perhaps we simply don’t fit into each other’s lives anymore.” padmé being uncharacteristically rude and distrusting became something y/n could no longer bear. the pain of her friendship with padmé splintering became unignorable.

“what? what are you talking about? where is this coming from?!” y/n’s eyes were widened in shock at padmé’s ‘explanation’ of her sudden coldness towards her. “padmé, this doesn’t even make sense, talk to me like we’re still those little girls picking flowers in the garden together!” y/n pleaded, taking a timid step towards her childhood friend. the poor padawan sounded like she was close to tears, a heart-wrenching contrast to the queen who wore a blank slate as her expression. 

padmé only remained silent, taking a step back as y/n attempted to close the distance in between them. y/n could feel her heart shattering into smaller and smaller pieces as padmé drowned her in the sound of silence. the young padawan let her hurt fester in her chest for a moment or more, storing the pain deep inside her mind as she’d be able to use it later in her training, hating that she had to treat the loss of her life long friend as a lesson. 

“p-padmé…? are you not even going to say anything at all?” 

y/n couldn’t take the silence anymore, regretting all the times she’d taken her friendship with padmé for granted. after a moment, y/n finally offered a simple, single nod to padmé. 

“right, then. i can clearly sense you’ve made up your mind about this. i don’t know what i did to you, or what i could’ve possibly said, but, i wish you well, padmé. i hope we can one day fix this.” with that, y/n left padmé’s room, blinking back tears that begged to be set free from the prison that were y/n’s tear ducts. 

later, y/n found herself in the training room, a bead of sweat starting to form at the edges of her scalp as she practiced using the force on the heaviest weights in the room. she’d been training for nearly an hour now, and once again, anakin was nowhere to be found. she checked his quarters, the council room, and not even the council knew where he was. reluctantly, back she traversed to the training room, electing to do something useful with her time instead of anxiously pacing around her quarters for hours at a time again. 

she couldn’t even stay focused on her exercises, anakin’s absence weighing on her heavier than she was comfortable admitting. for a moment, she’d zoned out, staring at the tan wall across from her as images of her and padmé growing up together raced through her mind at several miles per hour. y/n felt a strike through her chest at the loss of padmé, letting out a loud grunt as she force pulled the weights about an inch in front of her foot from across the large training room. y/n let out a noise of disbelief, shocked at her new achievement. momentarily forgetting she was the only one present in the room, she grinned and turned around. disappointment washed over her in waves, the weight heavy enough to hold her down on the ground. her master wasn’t there, he hadn’t seen how much she had been improving.

anakin sighed, annoyance starting to spread through his body. of course, last minute, as he was on his way to train with y/n, master yoda had summoned him to the council room. he entered to see mace windu, yoda, and queen padmé present. “what’s going on here? why was I summoned?” the young general asked, fully aware of the fact that he was now running late. he hoped to the force that y/n would forgive him this time.

“there has been an attempt on queen amidala’s life.” mace windu’s words resulted in anakin narrowing his eyes. the jedi’s eyes found the queen’s, surprised to find her already looking at him. anakin’s eyes found master windu’s again,

“i see...but what does that-” anakin’s question was cut short as master windu spoke over him,

“it means you are assigned to be the queen’s bodyguard until further notice. you are to tell no one where you’re going, nor are you allowed to tell anyone your mission. the less who know, the better.” anakin’s eyes widened at the thought of being separated from y/n, his heart starting to race,

“surely my padawan will be invited along so i can continue her training in the meantime, right? and besides, she and the queen are lifelong friend-” queen amidala interrupted anakin this time, another wave of displeasure washing over him at the constant interruptions,

“we are not,” anakin took notice of padmé’s tone, not liking it one bit. he thought of how y/n would speak of padmé, her attitude not matching y/n’s kind descriptions of her. once again, he narrowed his eyes,

master yoda spoke now, anakin’s heart sinking at his words, “your padawan, continue her training with master obi-wan she will. worry, you must not, in good hands will she be." anakin wanted to argue but he knew it would only push him further from his end goal. with a sigh, he turned to padmé once more,

“tell me what happened in the attempt.” anakin crossed his arms over his broad chest, not even bothering to hide his obvious displeasure over his new assignment. he had to find a way to communicate with y/n before she thought he was abandoning her and forgetting about her again.

padmé seemed to be caught off guard by anakin’s demand, obvious from the way her breath caught in her throat and the way her eyes widened ever so slightly. the queen cleared her throat delicately before speaking, “well...i was in my bed room and i saw someone aiming at me with a blaster through the window.”

“that’s it…? nothing actually happened and now i'm being given the task of protecting you-?”

“watch your tone and remember who exactly you’re speaking to, young skywalker,” windu spat angrily, shaking his head at anakin’s blatant disrespect of the queen. anakin sighed loudly at the correction, rubbing his temples as he processed what was being said to him. he finally snapped his head up after a moment,

“when do we leave? can i at least tell my padawan that i-” yet another interruption, causing anakin to nearly roll his eyes. nobody ever let him express himself, not like y/n did, and quite frankly he was growing tired of it.

“you both leave tonight, we on the other hand will let your padawan know of your surrender of her training.” windu groaned, annoyed that like always, the young skywalker questioned everything instead of a simple nod and ‘yes, master.’ anakin’s eyes widened at windu’s words,

“i can’t have her thinking i willingly abandoned her.” his brows furrowed, his body growing more and more tense. “you’ll let me at least say goodbye…” he trailed off, almost surprised he hadn’t been interrupted this time.

“i think it would only benefit you to remember that jedi are not to form attachments to anyone, general. not even their own padawan.” mace windu’s words were a warning, or maybe a challenge, anakin thought to himself, before simply turning around and storming off towards the doors of the council room. “anakin!” mace windu called after him, soon realizing it was to no avail as the young jedi only continued to walk towards the door faster with no intentions of turning around.

padmé followed after anakin, lifting her dress to jog after him. as she approached him, they exited the doors together. anakin still hadn’t turned to look at padmé until they were at their assigned ship. something felt wrong about this whole thing, but then again, when didn’t anakin question the choices of others around him?

anakin stepped into the ship padmé led him to, his mind racing as he thought of y/n, closing his eyes in an attempt to communicate with y/n through the force. as soon as he felt y/n’s energy, the ship started to take off. his eyes shot open to the sight of padmé having booted up the ship, immediately noticing she typed in the coordinates to naboo.

“hey, wait a minute, I wasn’t ready yet!” anakin argued before he realized the ship was moving already, just slightly out of range of his padawan now. it almost seemed like something was trying to keep anakin and y/n apart. anakin swore he could feel it and he suppressed a growl,

“padmé.” anakin spoke her first name, “i told you I wasn’t ready yet.” with an annoyed sigh, padmé turned to anakin,

“well, maybe if you hadn’t stormed out of the council room like that, you would’ve heard that naboo is expecting us within the hour. why are you acting like this, ani? you’re never this disagreeable about an assignment.” padmé said with a frown, her gaze attempting to peer into the windows of anakin’s soul. with a scoff, anakin broke eye contact before shaking his head, the use of y/n's nickname for him for once igniting an angry blaze within his heart, disgust etching itself across his face,

“don’t look at me like that. i don’t like it, not one bit.” anakin insisted, ignoring padmé’s question. "and don't call me that, that isn't what i go by to you." a war was raging inside anakin’s mind, several smaller battles creating a mass conflict inside him. he felt like he was going to explode any minute.

he worried for his young padawan, he knew exactly how this was going to look to her and he despised it. he was furious he couldn’t explain to her what was going on, he could only imagine how much this was hurting her.

the thought that someone had found out about his and y/n’s secret caused him to stiffen before he forced himself to relax. he’d been on several missions protecting padmé as of recently, and before today he almost considered them friends.

anakin let his thoughts encase y/n, his lovely padawan. he hadn’t yet noticed that the queen was staring at him. his heart stung from the lack of y/n, his right side cold without her. he refused to tell padmé his feelings, he couldn’t. sure, his new assignment was to protect padmé, but his first priority was to keep y/n safe. he knew they’d both be forced into exile if anyone were to ever find out about their secret relationship, and that was anakin's worst nightmare.

padmé hated the silence she was met with and thought of some way, any way she could break through the jedi’s walls, get him out of his head and pay attention to her. padmé could tell what, or rather, who was on anakin’s mind, “if this is about me interrupting you earlier, i'm sorry. y/n and I had just gotten into a terrible fight shortly before you had arrived, my mind has been everywhere and nowhere all at once.” she spoke with an anxious chuckle. to her satisfaction, anakin finally looked her in the eyes at the sound of y/n’s name,

“what happened? is she alright?” anakin asked, his worry for y/n only growing. there it was, anakin’s weak spot, y/n.

“she’s been so different lately,” padmé lied, forcing a sad expression as she spoke about the woman she’d began to resent, “i’m sure its that man she’s been around lately, but she wouldn’t even listen to me, her childhood best friend!” anakin’s heart stopped at padmé’s words,

“what?” was all anakin could muster in reply, nausea rising into his stomach and chest. “what man?” anakin said almost bitterly, tasting the bile in the back of his throat.

a look of shock crossed padmé’s features as she covered her mouth, as if she could take back the words that she had already spoken, “she wouldn’t tell me who, but...she had mentioned to me that when she wasn’t with you or me, she was with him.” anakin almost vomited from padmé’s truth, having to force himself to take deep breaths.

anakin didn’t know how much time passed until padmé landed the ship, his eyes finally refocusing on the sight ahead of him, naboo.

—

“no, I refuse to believe that. anakin w-wouldn’t have left without at least saying goodbye, or telling me. something had to have happened.” y/n shook her head, unbelieving of the news she was being told. frostbite exploded across her chest, the warmth of shame and the icy truth of betrayal prominently battling within her, a moment’s weakness reminding her of the secret she had been forced to be, forced to keep. she felt like her heart was being ripped out of her chest.

mace windu narrowed his eyes at the young padawan, “master skywalker, for your information, has surrendered responsibility of you to master obi-wan,” he extended his hand to the side where obi-wan sat, a much less jovial than normal tone as he greeted y/n with his usual,

“hello, there.” he waved awkwardly, deciding for himself to take over the explanation from mace, knowing it would be less harsh of an explanation to y/n if he told her himself. he took a step forward to be closer to y/n’s line of sight, “don’t fret, young one. this wasn’t due to anything you may or may not have done, you can relax. i can almost feel your fear,” obi-wan said lightheartedly, accompanied by a chuckle in an attempt to soothe the padawan’s nerves. “this was a decision made by the council, as anakin was sent away on a new assignment.” obi-wan’s eyes were soft and caring as he spoke, worried for the younger jedi in training, noticing her extreme upset.

obi-wan noticed she had little to no reaction at his attempt at a joke and he turned to windu, a nod in his direction, “anakin had told me of the plans he had for y/n’s training, i'd like to get a head start on that if you wouldn’t mind, master windu,” obi-wan watched as he mulled over the thought momentarily before waving the two off,

“you’re both dismissed.” as master windu spoke, y/n flipped around and stormed toward the door, the resemblance of her master’s actions mere hours prior not lost on him. windu clenched his fists before standing up from his seat and turning away to look out the window.

the doors to the council room flew open with a nod of y/n’s head as she channeled the force to swing the doors for her. obi-wan quickly gained on her, following her back to her quarters, “i don’t get it obi-wan,” y/n let out dejectedly, before he placed a hand on her shoulder,

“quiet now. we shall discuss this in private.” obi-wan communicated through the force, the sensation almost foreign to her, only used to this form of communication with anakin’s voice on the other side. y/n stiffened, only nodding gently. her fists were clenched by her sides and obi-wan pretended not to notice as he took the lead, walking them towards y/n’s quarters. together they entered, obi-wan shutting the door behind him as he entered her living space.

“so, what happened?” y/n asked, her words flying from her mouth before she could stop them, “why did he leave? where did he go?” y/n’s heart hadn’t stopped burning since she’d found out, the loss of anakin weighing heavily on her mind and body.

“the council seems to have sent him away on a mission to protect the queen. there was an attempt on her life. so with anakin, the queen is hiding on a different planet until we find who attempted to bring her harm.” obi-wan explained, his gaze sympathetic, “i know you’re upset because your training is going to be different now, perhaps you even thought it would be halted until anakin came back--”

you couldn’t be more wrong about what i'm thinking, master. y/n thought to herself.

“your abilities came to you later than most.” obi-wan spoke, his hands folded together in front of him. it was true, y/n hadn’t realized she were a force sensitive individual until she was roughly fourteen. despite that though, she’d always been playing games in the garden with sticks as weapons, pretending she was a jedi. it was what padmé was referencing when she told y/n she wouldn’t have to fight anymore, when she had been invited to be padmé’s lady in waiting.

with a single nod, y/n looked up at obi-wan, waiting for him to continue, “well, young padawan, come with me. the next part of your training comes now, as per request of anakin himself.” her eyes lit up,

“anakin’s request…? have you spoken with him? is he okay?” y/n forced her voice to remain steady despite her frazzled state, why hasn’t he reached out to me? y/n thought hopelessly.

“anakin’s fine. though, he is far more worried about his little padawan rather than the queen,” obi-wan said with a smile, clapping y/n on the shoulder, “he’s just fine, as is the queen. he wanted me to apologize on his behalf for being unable to explain his circumstances, but to trust him and me, and everything will be alright.”

the pit in her stomach that accompanied her anxieties returned in full force at the thought of anakin no longer being her master, and the fact that padmé’s life was threatened after their big fight. y/n hoped and prayed to the force for her emotions to stop warring within her. upon seeing the distress on her young face, obi-wan gently took her wrists in his own,

“y/n, you must relax. your emotion is radiating off you in waves. calm down, he’s going to come back after this assignment and be your master again, he promises.” obi-wan smiled at her reassuringly, “now come with me, the next step in your training comes now.” y/n’s brows furrowed in confusion and maybe a little worry,

“the next step? master obi-wan, what’re you-hey!” obi-wan only kept walking towards her door and out of her quarters. the young girl chased after him, following behind him quietly. y/n called after him again from the base of his ship before she walked up the ramp, following him inside “master obi-wan!”

obi-wan finally turned to face y/n now, inviting her to take a seat. for once, she followed orders without questioning them and sat down next to obi-wan as he began to start up the ship, “tell me, y/n, have you ever been to the planet lotho minor?”

her brows furrowed at obi-wan as the spacecraft lifted off, flying towards the sky and away from coruscant, “lotho...minor? the wreck planet?” y/n asked, perplexed as to why the planet was relevant. “never. master anakin always told me that only crazy people would go there, that’s where most, including naboo would leave their waste. why? what’s going on, obi-wan?”

“well, your master had plans to bring you there himself, as no one would visit to disturb you, but unfortunately since plans changed, now i'll be bringing you there myself.” y/n wasn’t sure she approved of this, only trying to focus on the fact that this was what anakin had planned for her next.

obi-wan and she didn’t really talk much during the ride there, mainly because obi-wan hadn’t known how to talk to the padawan, really. as obi-wan landed the craft, he then finally turned to y/n, “how have you been enjoying your training? has anakin been good to you?” from the tone of his voice, y/n could tell that he was being lighthearted, trying to get a smile out of her. y/n smiled and nodded softly in response,

“yeah. he’s always been great, in all senses of the word. i never realized how much i was ignorant of, he’s taught me so much.” y/n allowed herself to gush over him, glad that someone had finally given her a reason to praise her master in a respectful manner. obi-wan smiled, finally having something to talk about with his apprentice’s padawan.

“you should be careful when you use words like ‘never’ and ‘always’, padawan. things are rarely so absolute. you should be more precise. clarity of mind is important for a jedi.” obi-wan lectured her.

y/n mentally groaned before obi-wan spoke again, “yes, yes, i know only sith deal in absolutes,” must everything be a lesson? she thought to herself

with a nod, obi-wan folded his arms behind him, “come on now, young one. we have things to do, things to learn,” he barely gave y/n a chance to reply before standing and walking towards the exit of his ship. “anakin wanted to bring you here for a reason. as you know, you should’ve found and forged your kyber crystal for your lightsaber many, many, years ago, but due to your late blooming, you were never able to make it to ilum.”

y/n raised a brow at the recollection of her past and simply nodded, “right… and what does lotho minor have to do with kyber crystals?” the young padawan asked, keeping up with obi-wan’s quick pace, following him into a den carved into the side of a dirt mountain.

as y/n followed obi-wan inside, she looked around and realized that there wasn’t much, other than a plethora of what she could only assume were kyber crystals, never having seen one in person before. y/n raced over to the group of crystals on the dirt, her eyes blown wide with excitement and joy, the first good news in a while, the padawan thought to herself.

she reached down, closing her eyes and let the crystals call to her. as she made her choice on the crystal in the middle, obi-wan chuckled softly,

“gods, you look about as excited as anakin does when queen padmé enters a room, or when he gets sent away on a mission with her.”

y/n’s head flicked up to obi-wan as he spoke, her grip suddenly tightening on the crystal in her hand, “what?”

—

anakin was staring into the fireplace, his mind still racing. it hadn’t stopped, not since yoda had pulled him to the side on his way to training with y/n. it started to cause him extreme discomfort, leaving him with the feeling of being unable to catch a full breath. the young jedi’s mind was bouncing back and forth between right and wrong and what defined each. he found himself starting to question the jedi code, something that had been becoming increasingly more and more common for him. he missed y/n, even though he knew he shouldn’t have. 

why did he have to be sent on this mission now? why did his training have to be interrupted? all he wanted was to be with y/n, hold her in his arms. he wanted to-

“anakin, you’ve been quiet since we’ve gotten here, since i told you about y/n.” padmé sat on the couch next to anakin, curling her legs onto the cushion underneath herself. “what are you so worked up about?” padmé shuffled a bit closer now, but anakin’s eyes were still on the flames crackling atop the logs in the stone fireplace. 

“padmé, i’d really appreciate some alone time to think right now.” anakin grumbled, not once looking away from the flames ahead of him. 

padmé frowned, moving a hair closer to him, “anakin, whatever it is, i’m here for you. if y/n can have someone like him to confide in, you’re certainly allowed to, too.” the queen almost pleaded, watching as anakin stood from the couch, now starting to pace in front of the fireplace. 

“i said i’d like some-” 

with a soft, annoyed, sigh, padmé stood as well, grabbing anakin by his wrist and pulling him close enough to take his face in her hands, pulling anakin’s lips into her own. she was smiling as she kissed him, but her smile quickly diminished and was replaced with shock when the jedi pushed her away from him, 

“padmé, what have you done..?” anakin sounded horrified, wiping her kiss off his lips with his sleeves, fear filling his eyes and heart. y/n. his thoughts were only of her, his young padawan, who was going to be devastated when she found out. 

“i have to go.” the jedi said worriedly, his eyes flickering around every surface in the room until his eyes landed on the spacecraft key. 

“anakin, wait, i’m sorry, come back! wait!” the queen called after him. as 3po finally began to clamber back up the hill from the market, a basket of food in his arms, he saw his very angry master storming towards the spacecraft they'd all arrived on, the wind flapping his robes behind him. anakin was a threatening presence right now, even the droid could sense it. 

“sir, i have returned with the--oh, where are you going?” the droid asked, turning to direct his question to his master as anakin stormed past the droid,

“3po, stay here with the queen until i or another jedi comes back.” was all that anakin said, quickly throwing himself into the ship's cockpit.

in that moment, anakin had made a decision. 

he would no longer standby and let the jedi code dictate his every move, thought, and action. he was the chosen one, it was time to choose something for himself and what he held dear. he was done being a weapon of the republic.

he had to find y/n, fast. 

—

“it was…always her, wasn’t it…?”

“y/n, what have i told you about always and never, the more time passes, the more i swear you’re just like-” obi-wan’s eyes finally met the glowing crystal in y/n’s hand.

he drew his lightsaber out of pure instinct, his breath caught in his lungs, “y/n…” obi-wan whispered in disbelief. 

y/n’s racing heart was ignored as she looked down at the red kyber crystal in her hand, her body on autopilot as she placed the crystal into the hilt of the saber, as if she had repeated the process multiple times in her life. the red of her lightsaber illuminating her face in the darkness of the cave.

y/n realized that obi-wan wasn’t breathing, her hand raised to use the force to expand his lungs out of pure habit, an action she'd learned from her master who had used the method on herself when she was panicking and couldn't breathe. she hadn't thought twice, fear overtaking her mind and body, “m-master? what does this mean?” the young girl was terrified out of her mind.

obi-wan powered off his lightsaber, the hilt of the saber placed on his side once more when he realized y/n wasn’t going to hurt him. 

“run. run while i’m extending to you compassion that i shouldn’t.” obi-wan’s tone was sad, his heart pained for the young padawan. “i won’t tell anyone where you’ve gone, but you must run, y/n. i can no longer protect you.” y/n looked up at obi-wan, attempting to make eye contact with him, but he kept his gaze on the ground, unable to look at her. 

“obi-wan, i-” y/n pleaded out softly,

“GO!” obi-wan yelled, turning his back to y/n, his fists clenched at his sides. 

devastation filled y/n as she stood, forcing herself to her feet, “tell…tell my master i’m sorry i couldn’t say goodbye.” she mustered out before taking off deeper into lotho minor. 

obi-wan heard her run off, his back still to her as she spoke. he found himself turning around to watch her frame disappear into the distance, swallowing his feelings. he watched for another moment more, even after she left his line of sight before heading back to his spacecraft, 

alone.

when obi-wan returned to coruscant, he did not immediately report back to the council, instead electing to go straight to his quarters. he stared at his reflection in the mirror of his bathroom, unsure if he was proud or scared of the man looking back at him. 

—

upon anakin’s return to coruscant, he immediately found himself at the door of his padawan’s quarters. he knocked on her door, calling out her name quietly. he received no answer, only making his heart race faster. he closed his eyes, using the force to sense her, but he didn’t feel her presence at all, not on this planet.

had obi-wan and she already gone to lotho minor? he hadn’t even been gone a full week, and obi-wan had already taken her to forge her crystal. he was distracted from his thoughts when he heard footsteps behind him. 

it was grand master yoda approaching him. 

anakin walked towards the grand master, not even remembering to nod his head respectfully towards yoda, the worry for y/n entirely consuming all of his mind, 

“where’s my y/n? where’s my padawan?” the young jedi’s voice was laced with worry. he ignored the taken aback expression on yoda’s face at his words, his fear only monsooning at the grand master’s words, 

“heard from her, we have not. master obi-wan the last to see and hear from her, he was.” yoda answered. 

“how long has it been since you’ve heard from her?” anakin asked, trying and failing to remain calm. he couldn't stop his voice from trembling.

“the day her assignment under obi-wan began, saw her, last we did.” the day anakin left coruscant? 

i’m going to lose my mind, the jedi thought to himself. 

as anakin ran off towards obi-wan’s quarters, the jedi ignored the grand master’s calls for him, only focusing on finding obi-wan as fast as he could. fear threatened to swallow anakin whole, the fact that no one had heard from y/n terrifying him. 

everything anakin was doing was for her.

anakin didn’t even knock when he found obi-wan’s quarters, using the force to swing the door open as he stepped inside, “obi-wan!” he called out for his master, stepping deeper into the room. 

obi-wan had been on his balcony, leaning on the railing and staring out at the sky as he heard anakin approach. he didn’t turn around or even acknowledge the young jedi until anakin stood at his side. 

“where’s y/n? yoda said you were the last to hear from her, you were the last to see her! where is she?” anakin was a mixture of anger and anxiety, a fiery ball of emotion that scared obi-wan. 

“anakin, please calm down.” was all the older jedi said before turning to face anakin, his face troubled. seeing the burden that obi-wan carried on him and feeling the weight of obi-wan’s stress in the force only forced anakin to speak, needing confirmation that his worst case scenario wasn’t coming to fruition, 

“obi-wan, tell me where y/n is.” he said after a breath, his hands on the banister of the balcony, squeezing so tightly that his knuckles turned white, as he gazed at obi-wan pleadingly.

“she…" a pause. "is no longer with us, anakin.” obi-wan said quietly, his gaze still not on anakin. anakin thought he was going to be sick, a cold sweat beading at the back of his neck and down his back. 

“what do you mean, no longer with us, obi-wan? now really isn’t the time for jokes, i’d like to see my padawan and her new lightsaber that you two were supposed to go retrieve.” anakin's tone was one of deep denial, despite not knowing exactly what obi-wan meant by his words.

for a moment, obi-wan considered telling the young jedi that his padawan had died, to save him the pain of knowing that y/n was no longer a padawan, but a sith apprentice. 

“she…” the words were stuck in obi-wan’s throat, unsure of where to begin in his explanation, “i think you should take a seat, anakin, perhaps we should go inside and-”

anakin slammed his hand down on the banister, the metal reverberating with a soft whine, “damnit, obi-wan, tell me what happened!” 

“she belongs to the dark side, now, anakin.” obi-wan finally lifted his gaze to who was once his own padawan. “i brought her to the cavern on lotho minor like you asked of me, she picked up her chosen crystal, and i made a silly joke and laughed… by the time i looked up, she was wielding a red light saber. i’m so sorry anakin.” 

“did you kill her…?” anakin asked, his chest constricting painfully as he looked away from obi-wan, “what did you say to her?!” it took all of his restraint to not grab obi-wan and throw him over the edge of the balcony, 

obi-wan was silent for a moment, “no. i didn’t. i let her go, anakin. i couldn’t. she wasn't going to hurt me, that's why i let her go.” he took a deep breath before continuing, “she looked excited, beyond it, to set her eyes upon the crystals. i said something along the lines of her expression was similar to how you looked when the queen walked into a room, or when you were assigned on a mission with her, i thought she’d laugh. i still don’t understand what happened…” obi-wan shook his head, entirely oblivious that his poorly made and timed joke cost anakin everything. 

anakin couldn’t stop himself before his hand found the hilt of his lightsaber, a desolate look on his face as he flicked the power button, the blue energy buzzing and whirring in the air alongside him.

anakin heard y/n’s laugh, pictured her smile in his head, his anger towards obi-wan only growing, i never even had the chance to tell her i love her.

“you turned her against me…”  

obi-wan’s heart shattered at the sight before him, his hand hesitantly finding his own lightsaber, the blade still powered off as he spoke, “anakin, don’t do this. don’t let her twist your mind with the dark side!” anakin’s former master pleaded with him, his heart heavy already with the loss of a powerful padawan like y/n. he couldn’t bear to watch his own former padawan fall to the dark side too. “you’re my brother anakin, please-”

“don’t lecture me obi-wan, i see through the lies of the jedi, i do not fear the dark side as you do.” 

obi-wan finally powered on his lightsaber, his own emotion threatening to consume him as he took on a defensive stance,

“then i will do what i must.” obi-wan whispered, unable to stop his emotion from breaking through.

"you will try."

[scarletqueenx]

GREEK GOD

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: After a messy breakup you meet a stranger in your aunt Ellen’s bar.

Word Count: 1876

Tags/Warnings: none i think

A/N: kinda love this one, could make a part two if you want

This wasn't you. You never stayed out past midnight, never had more than two drinks, let alone ended up drunk at a bar.

But after another disastrous date where you couldn't help but notice the looks Josh gave every girl who walked past him or gave him a single second of their attention, you two ended up having another argument in the middle of the street. It had been just as humiliating as the other times before. But this time you'd ended up breaking off the almost three-year relationship and going to your Aunt Ellen's bar looking for some comfort.

She and her daughter Jo had always shown their disapproval of Josh. But you never listened. You were in love, they couldn't blame you. But that night, when you finally opened your eyes to all the red flags surrounding your now ex-boyfriend, you couldn't help but blame yourself for how foolish, stupid and naive you had been.

You had forgiven him for an infidelity. You, who had sworn that was the greatest display of disloyalty in a relationship and who had sworn never to forgive after seeing how bad your mother had suffered because of your father's infidelity.

Dean Winchester and his brother Sam were regular customers of your Aunt Ellen's bar, but oddly enough you had never crossed paths before. 

His eyes were on you the very moment he and his brother set foot in the place. Your perfect figure wrapped in that gorgeous red dress, the flawless makeup that brought out your eyes as well as the softness of your lips. 

Dean was mesmerized. And both his brother and his friends kept teasing him all night about the way he was drooling for you.

You begged for another shot of tequila, forming an adorable pout with your lips as you stretched your hand over the counter to reach for your cousin hand. 

“I think it's time for you to go home, honey.” Ellen came up behind you, holding your shoulders gently.

You grunted. 

You lived with Josh. Going home and seeing his face was the last thing you wanted to do. 

That's when you saw him. Green eyes, perfect smile and freckles decorating his face like some kind of magic dust. He even had an aura.

Or was that the neon light on the wall behind him?

You were so drunk you weren't sure.

He was the most beautiful specimen of a man you had ever seen in your life. If they told you he was a greek god you would believe it right away.

A man like that wouldn't even notice someone like you. A man like him would have millions magazine-cover-model girls at his feet. And the fat on your thighs and hips were far from making you a model. That insecurity was one of the reasons you had probably decided to believe Josh when he told you he loved you. Because, deep down, you felt like no one else would.

But the bright green eyes of that greek god were on you. On your eyes, on your lips, on your body.

He wanted you.

No. Impossible. The alcohol was making you hallucinate. 

“I'll call a cab.” Jo's voice behind the bar snapped you back to reality and your eyes fell back on Ellen, who continued to hold your shoulders so you wouldn't fall off the stool.

Letting out another grunt and forming another adorable pout, you shook your head. 

“I'm sorry, honey, but you need to rest. No more drinks for tonight.” Ellen told you.

“I don't want to go home.”

Ellen sighed. She'd invite you to stay at her place, but it was already too small for her and Jo alone. 

“Everything okay?”

Agh, his voice was perfect too. Deep, but sweet at the same time. Full of concern and genuine kindness.

You almost threw up.

Why did you, that night of all nights, have to meet the most perfect man on the face of the earth?

God have mercy.

“Oh, Dean.” Ellen turned to him with a fond smile on her lips.

Wait. Your Aunt Ellen knew him?

“This is the niece I told you about.” Ellen gestured to you as she told him your name. 

“The girl who wore training wheels on her bike until she was 15?” Dean teased with a smile.

“Hey, that thing is pretty hard to ride.” You replied after letting out a small hiccup.

You were so drunk.

Dean smiled at how cute you looked.

“Do you need me to drive her somewhere? I have the car outside?” Dean turned back to Ellen.

As you let out another hiccup and a yawn, Ellen looked at you with pity and then nodded toward Dean.

Truth be told, Ellen didn't know if she could trust a cab driver to take you home or that you wouldn't run out as soon as you were dropped off in front of the door just to avoid seeing Josh. 

All the options she had gave her little to no confidence, so far. Dean Winchester was a good guy. She'd known him since he was a kid, given that his father, John, was a friend of hers. Dean would make sure you were safe and would never take advantage of you.

“I don't want to.” You whined once more as Ellen grabbed you by the waist to pull you out of the bar. “Don't make me, Aunt Elle.” 

You sounded like a little girl refusing to eat the veggies on her plate. It was so ridiculous and adorable that Dean had to fight to keep from letting out a laugh.

“Oh, honey.” Ellen held your wet, tear-stained cheeks. “I'm taking care of you. You'll feel better tomorrow.”

“She'll have a horrible headache tomorrow.” Dean remarked beside her.

Ellen rolled her eyes, leaning down to place a mother-like kiss on your forehead. 

“You're going to be fine. Dean's going to take care of you.” She whispered as she tucked a few strands of hair behind your ears.

Accepting your defeat, you formed a pout on your lips and nodded as you noticed Dean's hand settling on the small of your back.

“Come on. My bed is very cozy.” Dean said to you after Ellen walked back into the bar.

Like a bullet, you turned to him with a defiant look in your eyes. The effect of the alcohol drained off your body as soon as your survival instincts kicked in.

“Say that again, pretty boy.” You dared him, taking a step back.

Dean seemed to realize then how his words had sounded, as he took a step back and raised his hands with his palms facing you.

“That's not what I meant.” He assured quickly. “That's definitely not what I meant. I chose my words poorly. I'm sorry.”

You narrowed your eyes, not very convinced.

“I can go back and get Ellen if you don't want to come with me anymore. I understand. I'm sorry.” He apologized once more, looking around to the bar as if wishing someone would come out to help him.

He'd screwed up big time.

“You don't need to. But you should know she taught me self-defense.” You crossed your arms and took a step toward him. “I'd kick your ass. And your balls.”

Dean chuckled nervously.

“Got it.” He nodded at the seriousness in your gaze.

After a few seconds of studying him closely, you finally let your arms drop to each side of your body and turned to look around the parking lot.

“Which one is your car, greek god?” You asked, not realizing the nickname you had decided to call him by.

Dean noticed, but decided to keep quiet about it.

“That one right there.” He pointed to a gorgeous '67 Chevy Impala.

Perfect man, perfect car. Of course.

“I want to make it clear that earlier I was referring to leaving my bed to you so could sleep in it.” He added as he walked beside you, at a safe distance but letting your arms brush against each other from time to time, sending shivers all over your body. “I heard you mention that you didn't wanted to go home and I assumed it wasn't just due to wanting to keep drinking.”

You sighed.

“I live with my boyfriend.” You explained.

“Oh.” Dean muttered with a slight tone of disappointment that you were too drunk to actually notice.

“My ex-boyfriend.” You clarified quickly, getting his hopes back up. “I just broke up with him. He's a jerk.”

“He has to be to let you go.”

Suddenly, you stopped on your heels and turned to look at him. Dean almost fell down from the sudden move.

“You don't have to do that.” You said.

“Do what?” Dean frowned, totally confused.

“Pretend you find me attractive.” You replied. “You're helping me because my Aunt Ellen asked, but you don't have to pretend to like me when we both know you'd rather stay inside that bar playing pool with your friends.” 

“Wait, wait.” Dean rushed after you as he took in all your words. His hand wrapped your wrist gently to make you turn around and look at him. “That's what you think is going on here?”

You looked at him puzzled.

“First of all. I asked. And second. Why is it so hard for you to think that someone like me might be interested in you?” He asked.

With another adorable pout, you shrugged.

“I don't know. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror?"

Dean knew he was attractive. Of course he knew, especially after all the years he'd spent having one-night stands with almost every girl he engaged in conversation with. However, Dean wasn't the type of guy who spent his days in front of a mirror, reducing his life to that, looks.

He wasn't a feelings person either. Or at least not one to say them out loud. Words weren't his strong suit. But you. You seemed to need him to be straightforward. To tell you what he was feeling and thinking at that moment. And for the first time in his entire life, Dean decided to be honest and open his heart.

Because he didn’t wanted to screw this up with you.

“I like you.” He blurted out before you could say anything else. “I couldn't help but notice you from the moment I walked into that bar. And if I offered to drive you home it's because I wanted to get to know you.”

Dean didn't know what to expect you to say, but he certainly didn't expect you to laugh in his face like you were doing right now.

“What?” He couldn't help but slightly chuckle himself as he looked at you in confusion. Your laughter was too infectious.

Dean tilted his head, following your eyes with a glint of amusement in his own.

“I'm too drunk for this, greek god.” You smiled as you turned around to continue walking to his car.

His green eyes followed you, completely mesmerized and bewildered by you. 

God have mercy. Because you were something else. And he couldn’t help but find himself pulled by you like a moth to a flame.

A/N: Jensen has always look like a greek god to me so i had to do this. really hope you liked it.

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[vixenofthemist]

EVERLASTING VOW Abysswalker x Princess!MC/Reader Word Count: 20.9k Warnings: mdni, smut, arranged marriage (but not between rafayel and mc), Princess uses She/her pronouns, Slavery is discussed since this is set in the Golden Sands Myth

It was suffocating the amounts of perfume in the air, yet Her Highness, the Princess with the Eternal Heart, could only wrinkle her nose in displeasure before taking another sip of wine. 

“Natasha, how much longer do I need to be present?” She whispered to her maid. “The feast is done, and the dancing has begun. Surely I'm not needed for much longer and can soon retire.” 

if Natasha could have without seeming rude, she would have shook her head and deeply sighed. But, with the King and Queen nearby she did not dare.

“Please Your Highness, you must admit this evening has been pleasant! Why not try and enjoy yourself with fervor rather than counting down the seconds as if this is a sentence.”

 Looking around cautiously, Natasha then whispered in an even more hushed tone: “After missing your own coming of age ball, forgive me if I am not as lenient as usual. You really must take these events more seriously!”

Shifting slightly, Her Highness felt a little bit of guilt. Natasha had been completely white faced when the Princess returned from her outing with Rafayel. The stress of pretending to be royalty during such an important event had been more than anticipated, and Natasha was shaky for days afterwards from the nerves. 

“... I suppose it hasn't been the worst evening.” Her Highness relented, fanning herself with increased speed as the heat from the fireplace warmed her fast in the heavy gown. Natasha brightened.

“It has been indeed. OH! Look, I think a Duke is coming over to ask you to dance.”

Following Natasha's indication, Her Highness observed the man approaching her with a curious eye.

Lord Anthony Dashing, Duke of the Third River. A second son who had to take over his father's estate young after the untimely death of both father and elder brother. The Princess has known him in a cordial way for much of their lives, and perhaps could consider him a friendly face amongst the sea of nobles.

In addition, he was not awful on the eyes with his dark hair tied at his nape and blue eyes that smiled at her and Natasha as he approached.

If she had to fulfill one dance for Natasha to consider this ball a success, then he was not a bad candidate. 

“Good evening, Your Highness.” He greeted with a low timbre, and Natasha bowed back to give the two of them space. “I hope you are well.”

“Lord Dashing, it has been some time! You've returned from your trip I see.”

A hint of puzzlement came over his face.

“Ah- yes. I have been back for some time… Do you not recall our conversation at your Coming of Age Ball? I traveled back purely to attend.”

Shit, she hadn’t thought to ask Natasha who she'd danced with that night. She'd been too caught up with thoughts of Rafayel and his surprisingly pouty lips beneath the mask to consider anything else that night.

“Forgive me, that ball is a blur. Much was happening and I talked to, it felt like, everyone in the kingdom. As well, the mask was awful to see through. I could hardly tell who I was talking to!”

That seemed convincing enough, and the Duke's face eased from his suspicion.

“It was a peculiar choice of ornament, especially for your Coming of Age event, but I am confident His Majesty had his reason.”

“Father has always been one for eccentrics.” The Princess noted, glancing over to the man who had adopted her. “Surely you remember the year he had all the noblemen hunt a specific type of sand seal for his Coronation anniversary, all because he wished for a new crown out of their tusks. Or, goodness, I had almost forgotten myself, Mother's birthday when he had her greet everyone behind a curtain because he did not think anyone else should see her.” 

A memory of Lord Dashing himself popped to mind, and a teasing smile curled her lips. 

“If I'm not mistaken, you tripped on the curtain, did you not Lord Dashing?” 

Sheepishly he nodded.

“I did indeed. I was but a child with two left feet at the time. I promise, however, that I am much more coordinated now. Might I prove it to you with a dance?” He was a picture perfect example of a gentleman as he held out his hand. 

Yes, this will satisfy Natasha enough to let her retire for certain!

She closed her fan, and accepted his hand.

“Very well. I will be judging your coordination growth with my own two eyes.”

Unfortunately, any hope of escaping this suffocating social event was soon dashed as accepting one dance broke the dam. Mama's flocked to introduce their sons and have them ask her to dance in droves. An hour had passed, and feet were starting to throb. She wanted nothing more than to leave.

Dreadfully, however, just as Her Highness thought she might be able to slip away the Queen approached with Lord Dashing in tow and grabbed her arm.

“Dear, I can tell you are getting tired but I declare that this last dance must be with Lord Dashing! Not only did he provide the star entertainment tonight, but also his continued diligence in establishing our relationship with Starfell Kingdom must be rewarded”

Sending him an expectant look, he answered. 

“I would be honored to have a second dance with someone as beautiful and esteemed as Her Highness.”

“Have it you shall.” Arm was passed from the Queen to Lord Dashing. “Go now, be center stage.” The Queen commanded, and both of them had to comply.

In front of the symphony pit, commotion was happening as staff hurried to and fro in preparation for this penultimate song, and curious eyes were drawn to the curtains rising up and revealing a tall woman with beautiful features and long curled hair.

She was dressed well in a sparkling gown of blue, but there was an unmistakable weight on her leg to show she was shackled beneath all the finery.

A Lemurian slave, Her Highness realized as Lord Dashing led her to the dance floor.

Thoughts at once were of gorgeous duochrome eyes above a mask carved with jagged teeth.

The Princess’ hand might settle on Lord Dashing's shoulder as the weight of his palm brought her waist closer to his body, but her mind was not present with him, nor anywhere in the fourth ballroom of the palace. 

Rafayel would be a good dancer. He was light on his feet and agile, with a sturdy body for the lifts and fully capable of carrying her.

Perhaps she should ask him the next time he came to see her… he would be reluctant, but he was not one to deny her whims for long.

  Inevitably he would shake his head with a sigh she would dare hope held affection, before holding out his hand and taking hers and-

A hand with too wide of fingers disrupted her fantasy.

Like a mirage shimmering from a beautiful oasis into the reality of endless sand, the handsome face that was the only source of water that could quench her endless thirst shifted to that of Lord Dashing lit by the swaying chandelier above. 

The orchestra had started playing, and feet carried on well practiced patterns without much need for thought, and the Princess tried to hide the disappointment in her heart with conversation.

“So it’s true then. There are other kingdoms beyond the desert?” It was a question she had been brimming with curiosity about ever since her father told her of the treaty. Rafayel had said there was only desert left of the ocean, but perhaps other places still thrived? Perhaps even, there was a sea somewhere out there…

“Indeed, there is much beyond the desert. Though tis a treacherous journey to get to the end of the sands, and even more dangerous to climb the rock face between our land and our neighboring kingdom of Starfell.”

That was intriguing news she hadn’t heard before.

”A rock face?”

Lord Dashing nodded, but before he could expound an enchanting voice rose along the current of the music and caught everyone’s attention toward the main stage. The Lemurian woman had begun her song.

���Perhaps I can tell you of my adventures some other time, Your Highness. This moment should be for appreciating the now.”

The second time Lord Dashing had disappointed this evening, but the Princess merely pondered his offer.

Getting called upon by a gentleman held expectations of courtship, and she had fought hard to hold off such things till her coming of age; yet her curiosity had always taken propriety over caution. A fault one had to grow when confined to a singular place their whole life.

It wasn’t all that bad of a habit, however. It had led her to reunite with Rafayel.

”I would like to hear more.” 

Lord Dashing’s smile was almost boyishly shy as he briefly broke eye contact.

“I hope I make a more lasting impression this time, Your Highness.”

The Princess gave as encouraging of a smile as she could before her gaze swept across the ballroom as the rhythm continued to carry the dance onward. 

All attention seemed to be on the two of them; as if they were the gossip that would fuel the rest of the season with this single dance. Only the Lemurian women was not paying them a lick of attention, her focus towards the rafters as she swayed.

In turn, the Princess was the only one who cared to notice and wonder what was so interesting in the ceiling above, and she got her answer when Lord Dashing dipped her at the crescendo and her whole vision was now the vaulted ceilings and beams as her head craned back till it almost touched the floor- 

There, in the darkest shadows where no flame dared touch, she met the burning gaze of a twilight above water. Making direct eye contact with her.

The Palace and surrounding city went to sleep that night spreading the news of how the Princess had never before smiled so happily as she did at the end of dancing with Lord Dashing.

Unbeknownst to all the gossip, Her Highness at last retreated to the sanctity of her bedchambers and disrobed herself of all the jewels, make up, and clothing of the evening as Natasha prepared a bath.

Everywhere hurt. 

From her heels to her scalp where pins had held hair up tightly for hours- even muscles she had not known could become sore were making their presence known.

”People finding such engagements enjoyable astounds me. I’m in pain everywhere, and where I am not in pain I tire.” She sighed as she sank into the warm water. “Though, I suppose this might be the first ball in years where I am not reprimanded. I behaved myself too well.”

”You always say such things as if it is bad. Did you truly not enjoy anything about tonight, Your Highness?” The smile that grew on Natasha’s face was almost teasing. “What about Lord Dashing? He seemed enjoyable.”

The Princess made a noncommittal noise, bringing her sudsy hand up to rest her chin on it as she gazed toward the light of the moon..

”The music was beautiful. I… did not know the family had received another Lemurian. Did you, Natasha?”

The maid shook her head.

”I am merely your lady in waiting, I am not privy to many things about the castle. That’d be the head maid who’d know such things.”

Memories of how Rafayel had looked when she’d received him flashed through her mind. How thin his wrists had been in his shackles, and the marks of whips against his flesh… How, when offered food, he had admitted he had not eaten in days…

”Send her a meal from me.” The Princess ordered, hand falling outside of the tub as she stared at the ceiling. If only Rafayel were in these rafters too... “A filling one. By my standards too. Make sure the cooks know that.” 

She was known to have an appetite, the cooks would understand.

”Was her performance that pleasing to you, Your Highness?” Natasha asked, surprised. Before her hand came to her mouth and her eyes sparkled. “Or… perhaps what happened while she was singing pleased you? You did permit Lord Dashing to call on you… A rather marking occasion I would say!”

”If that’s what you’d like to think.” Her Highness dismissed, finding it too troublesome to insist that the dance with Lord Dashing hadn’t been anything to write home about. Her toes felt like they were going to throb off her feet. “Go do it now, please. I’d like to be alone for a while so that I might properly relax.”

The room was silent for only fifteen minutes, before the slight opening of the balcony door caught in her ear and familiar footfalls padded across the room.

Her heart leapt.

”I-I’m in the bath!” She yelped, bringing her hands up to cover her chest as she turned towards the divider separating her from the rest of the room. Water sloshed slightly onto the floor at the sudden movement and an amused chuckle came from the assassin as he briefly stopped to tap at the glass of the fishtank. 

“Did you think I was going to pass the clear divide?” Rafayel asked, bemusement written all over his voice, and his shadow stepped into view through the folding screen. Backlit by the candles behind him. “Or did Your Highness hope I would?”

”I- AHEM, I’m permitted to be cautious!” Her cheeks were burning, and she was grateful the light was not as prominent on her side, so he would not be able to make her out like she could him. “You’re always far too comfortable in someone else’s bedchamber, you know.”

”I’ll keep that in mind for next time.” He said, bringing the total amount he had told her those words to six. He never seemed to keep anything in mind, despite it. “However, I am in haste this night to ask you a favor.”

”A favor?” Her Highness asked, bringing her knees up so she could rest her still warm cheek against the hard surface. “Oh, do you want me to help you free the Lemurian women who sang tonight?”

He paused, and she took that as a yes.

”Of course I’ll help, I do owe you many things for taking me beyond these walls. What do you need?”

”You’ve presumed far too much as usual, Your Highness.” Rafayel sighed, shaking his head. “It would be dangerous- perhaps even treasonable- to help with that endeavor.”

He did not deny that he planned to free the women, so the Princess pressed for more information.

”Is she your lover?”

”Wha- no!” Rafayel’s shadow looked taken aback, and slightly disgusted at the very idea. 

Good. 

The Princess hummed, picking up a grouping of bubbles into her palm.

”Then I shall help free her! I do not care for keeping anything trapped within these walls, not merely myself. It would break up the monotony of the day to day, certainly, to do something as exciting as a heist!”                      

“… If Your Highness is volunteering, then I shall not argue. However, it is still not my favor.”

The bubbles melted into water, and she tilted her palm so that it streamed back into the tub.

”What is it, then?”

”That Her Highness is more cautious with those she dances with. Not all who are men are gentle, despite how they might act.”

Not expecting that, she froze for a moment. 

Blinked.

Then giggled.

”Perhaps I ought to dance more next time, if only a few spins around the room is enough to get you to visit!”

”Her Highness misunderstands.” Rafayel pinched the bridge of his nose.

”I tease!” She laughed, stretching one leg out as it was starting to cramp a little, and the water echoed her movements throughout the room. “Truly, I have no problem fulfilling your wish this time. Most of those dances were dreadful, and my feet hurt something awful!”

A moment of silence was interrupted by a knock, but before he was gone, Rafayel muttered into the air, emotion leaking through his usual facade: “So you enjoyed some of them?”

====

The sand beneath her feet was wet, and brought up from beneath the sea by waves that crashed and curled a dark gray. 

The Island was not small, yet she did not care ever to go inland; She always continued on her path. Walking the beachside as cold water rammed around her ankles before retreating back to the depths.

She was waiting for the sea to come swallow her, yet it only ever tasted. Nipping at her wrists with splashes that burned like fluttering kisses or rushing up to engulf her when she sat- willing it to just take her to end this eternal damnation- but it always returned without her. Caressing her thighs as if to taunt her.

Reminding her of how lonely she was.

Reminding her that she did not deserve the sea.

—-

The Princess awoke drearily, yet forced herself to get out of bed.

Her fish Blu-blu was fed with sprinkles of dry flakes fluttering down into the water from her fingertips, and after he’d gobbled his fill she leaned down to eye level.

”Hey, I have another message request O’ Emissary of the Sea God. Tell Rafayel that… to get a full understanding of how much I like dancing, I need to dance with him first.”

Her finger pressed against the side of the tank, and the blue fish swam up and bonked gently against the glass separating them. Whether that meant message delivered or not, she couldn’t tell. But it made her feel better to do anyway.

”Thank you!” She gave him a little extra food, as a treat.

Natasha soon arrived with her itinerary for the next few days. Scheduled for her by the King and Queen.

A usually boring affair filled with nothing, so Her Highness only glanced at it- preoccupied with breakfast- but as her tired brain registered what it said, she choked a little on her sausages.

”This cannot be right!” She declared, giving the list her full attention now as she picked it up. “When have I ever been allowed this many visitors?! And all of them are men?”

Blu-blu in its tank gave a glub of disbelief as horror dawned on her.

”Natasha- NO! This cannot be!” Breakfast forgotten, she stood up with enough force to shake the table. “Are they- do they want me to marry?!” 

“You are of marriage age!” Natasha noted, attempting to help. “However, do not fret too much for it will not be sudden! Your heart is the very salvation of this kingdom, which means your hand is the highest prize a man could ask to receive, and His Majesty will not accept just anyone.”

”What about me? What if I do not accept them?!” Her Highness demanded. Natasha swallowed, and there was sympathy in her eyes. 

“I fear most marriages are not one of love, Your Highness. OH- I know that does not please you but consider how wonderful it might be!” She walked closer, and took the Princess’ hand. “You remember my older sister, yes?” At the nod, she continued. “ She got married two years ago and you would not BELIEVE the change in attitude she’s had! Turns out, the cause of all her issues were-well-“ Natasha paused, looking around as if she and the Princess were not the only ones allowed in this chamber (and Rafayel, though Natasha did not know that). “Our parents.”

That, caused Her Highness to still, and listen a little more intently.  

“Now that she has a husband, she lives with him. The rules and beliefs of our parents no longer rule her, and she has grown incredibly happy, despite not loving her husband!”

”Are you saying that… maybe… if I get married… I could leave the palace?” The words left Her Highness’ mouth slowly.

”Not exactly but… it is a possibility that you should not shut out.”

Swallowing, still braided hair moved with her nodding.

”I… will consider it.”

Unspoken was the addition: I will consider it if I am unsuccessful at escaping.

As soon as Natasha was gone, she made her first solo escape attempt since meeting Rafayel.

It went as well as it usually did, and ended with her being escorted on either side by guards straight to the Queen’s parlor.

The Princess met the Queen’s unamused look with a smile.

”Morning Mother! I thought it a beautiful day to walk the city but, as usual, I was not allowed.”

”Of course you were not, child.” The Queen sighed with a great shake of her head. “The Lemurian rebels stalk the streets and would for certain see to have you killed! Which is why you should joust any thought of leaving the palace from your mind and come sit. We are meeting guests in thirty minutes and we must be prepared.”           

Reluctantly, the princess did so. 

“I see it came to your attention that your father and I are looking for a marriage for you.” 

“Grateful that you asked for my opinion.” Said dryly. 

“Why would we ask when we know you would not see how it is for your benefit?”

”Well, you are wrong, mother. I am not against getting married, I am against it being forced upon me!” The Princess huffed, crossing her arms with a scowl. “In fact, I’ve always dreamt of getting married, but you would not know that about me, would you? Well, if you doubt it, ask my old Nanny and she’d tell you how I used to dress up as a bride and throw pretend weddings to a stuffed animal as a child!”

That caught the Queen by surprise.

”I- Do not accuse me of being a bad mother, I can hear it in your tone!” 

“I do not need to accuse-“

A sharp sting rapped against knuckles, as the Queen’s fan hit the Princess’ hand. Hard.

”Silence this instant! We will be receiving four potential suitors today and you must be on your best behavior- and that includes respecting the woman who has raised you!”

The woman next to her had never been a mother. She’d just been the wife of the man who happened to stumble upon an abandoned baby in a cave with a heart that can make a Kingdom thrive even in a desert.

She hadn’t even wanted to keep her. Only allowed it because her husband promised to bring in his mother to help care so she did not have to lift a finger. Her tune changed swiftly, when the King found out about the gift and arrived to take the child. 

When her husband refused, the wife killed him as a sign of loyalty and gave the girl to the king to become Princess. Eventually earning her spot as Queen by his side.

The Princess sometimes mourned the father she never got to have. The one who loved her enough to refuse the riches of a King.

Perhaps that father would have liked Rafayel.

The Princess liked to think he would have, because she liked Rafayel.

However, he was long dead, and she was forced to spend every day of the next week meeting and spending time with men who talked of her as if she was an object in a vault.  A fanciful cage of flesh holding the true treasure they all sought- the divine powers of her heart.

It was rather impressive that she held out till the fourth day to reach beneath her pillow and retrieve the fish tail beacon. 

“I've had the most dreadful week!” She said to Rafayel as soon as she saw strands of purple hair peer into the room. She sat up and swung her feet off the side of the bed, properly tying her robe to cover her nightgown. She might ask the man to come to her bedchambers, but she still held some sense of decency! “It will only get worse I fear- everyone has gone mad!”

“I've been out of the city and far from the palace, I'm afraid I know not what Your Highness speaks.” 

Beads shifted as Rafayel lifted them, and at last his face was clear in her view… yet she found herself unable to look at him.

She just let the words fall from her lips as she looked anywhere but him.

“It has been decided that I should marry.”

His movement halted out of the corner of her eye at once, and he became a statue, yet still the Princess kept her head down towards her knees. Fists clenching the bedsheets.

“A year ago I would have been thrilled to meet so many people, but now it feels like I'm being set in front of one jailer after the other each day.” Her stomach knotted as she remembered overhearing a group of these “suitors” talking. “And those who are not jailors feel like brutish dogs salivating to get a meal…” 

A shiver of disgust coursed through her, springing her to her feet as she began to pace. Not noticing the way Rafayel's jaw had clenched and his eyes stayed fixed to where she had been sitting.

“I cannot stand to be forced to wed! Are they truly not satisfied in holding me prisoner that they have to dictate my marriage as well? How dare they try and force the only chance of happiness I could find out of my hands!” Feet halted in front of the fish tank, and she bent at the hips to look at the fish staring back at her. “Not even mentioning the caliber of men they are presenting. See that horrible rock?” A finger jabbed in the direction of a geode half settled in the corner of the tank with a rather peculiar formation. “Everyone’s talked non stop of how thoughtful of a gift something so beautiful is, and he certainly had much poetry to wax when giving it, but as soon as he thought I was gone he referred to it as “a representation of what the Princess could give me the wedding night”-“ 

 Bead strands snapped in half in Rafayel’s fist as a flicker of a flame blossomed through his fingers, scattering half on the floor and half on the bed. She didn’t notice however, too caught up in her anger.

”That’s when I took a closer look and realized what part of a woman it resembled. I almost chucked it at his head, but a maid picked it up before I could and put it in the tank. I’d get it out but I’m too short and chairs and stools get removed each night so I don’t use them to escape. UGH!” Long hair flipped around as she stomped/turned, folding her arms as she stalked away from the horrible thing. “I did not think life in the palace could get any worse, yet here it is!”

Footsteps stuttered to a halt when Her Highness realized just how long it'd been since Rafayel spoke or moved. It was entirely unlike him.

Turning, she walked over, calling his name.

”Rafayel?”

No response to verbal, but he caught her wrist as she went to poke the exposed part of his cheek, turning his attention to her finally.

She wished that she could read his eyes, for they seemed to be screaming a phrase over and over as they stared at her, taking in the features of her face as if drinking her presence like it was sustenance. The intensity made her flush and a tingle of thrill coursed up her spine.

Boldly, she pushed back against his grip and he relented in allowing her to reach for him. The backs of four fingers brushed past his bangs to his brow bone, then down to the tops of his cheek right below the eye.

His lashes fluttered, and he leaned into the touch. His breathing was getting heavier by the second.

It emboldened her to step closer, past his knees. Her emotions felt caught in her throat as a strange mixture of indignation and something much deeper coursed through her.

”Rafayel I… I don’t want to marry any of them.” Her figure collapsed against him, arms flung on his shoulders as one hand gripped the chain at the back of his hood while the other found a strap to hold. “You don’t want me to either, do you?”

She buried her face against his shoulder and tightened her grip. Sheltering herself from the world and what his lack of reaction could mean in the darkness of his hood.

“Please say something.” She begged, voice low and pleading. 

A sharp inhale reverberated from within Rafayel’s mask, before an arm was around her waist lifting her onto his lap. Her legs were on either side of his hips, nightgown riding up to her thighs beneath the robe but she couldn’t care any less.

Rafayel was hugging her.

She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been held.

“No one in this palace of thieves and villains deserves to marry you.” Rafayel’s voice trembled low in anger. Wrapping her even tighter in his embrace. It emboldened her even further. Right hand releasing his back to grasp his face as she turned her head to look at the outline of his jaw in the dim light.

“Then- then take me away!” She pleaded, pressing her face further into his neck; nose brushing against the sensitive skin beneath his ear. Inhaling his scent in her next shaky breath. 

Saltwater and leather and steel.

She felt his throat bob beneath her lips as her exhale sent her warm breath across it.

“I do not want to belong to anyone but my most important person.”

A kiss was pressed to the delicate flesh beneath his ear, and his whole body shuddered in response and she could hear the strangled groan that rumbled from his chest to his mouth. She kept going, trailing with more fervency down along the edge of the mask. Punctuating in between each desperate kiss with a “please”.

His hands were on her shoulders as her lips just barely grazed his adams apple, pushing her just far enough away that she could now see his eyes.

They were an almost blazing shade of pink like the deepest pools of water beneath the morning sun, and Her Highness felt like she was getting drunk off the intensity of them and her own emotions. The tip of her nose bounced against his- still covered by the mask- as she swayed. 

“Is that your wish?” Rafayel asked, his tone low as he steadied her with a palm on the side of her head. Thumb resting at the corner of her mouth.

It was. But more importantly-

“I want it to be yours.” She confessed in a whisper, before leaning forward and kissing the spot on his mask where she knew his mouth was beneath it. The leather was pliable enough that it sank beneath her weight till the resistance of him halted it.

With eyes closed her senses devoured every sound of his labored breathing and the texture of the mask against her lips as she peppered kisses wherever her blind aim landed. So when his hips bucked -ever so slightly- as her hand settled over his heart she felt every inch of his pants rise and drag against her thighs but not reaching where she needed it most.

The sensation still rose a whiny moan from her, and Her Highness went to press onto his lap but in a blink she was on her back on the bed- pink robe slipping out of its knot to spread around her as Rafayel hovered over her, Holding the offending wrist as the other hand tore the mask off his face so he could press a torrent of kisses and nips into her palm and fingertips.

Moonlight filtered in through the drapes surrounding her bed, showing the flush of his face and ears to her and the occasional flash of teeth before it sunk ever so slightly into the flesh of her thumb. A whimper came from her throat, and an apologetic tongue flicked over the indentation of teeth. Eyes opening to meet hers.

“Are you sure, Princess?” He poised the question before nuzzling his nose down to her wrist where the remnants of her perfume lingered just enough to keep him from going completely feral over her natural scent. “All you need do is command me to stop.”

“I’ve never been more certain of anything.” She breathed, inching her hips down towards him. She needed to be closer. He was always too far yet so within reach and she couldn’t bear for him to be distant tonight. “Rafayel, you’re too far away~”

A chuckle accompanied the hand grabbing her leg and dragging her towards him. Her nightdress fully over her hip on one side by the time she was situated against one of his knees.

“Always so demanding, My Princess.” 

The way the words “my” rolled off his tongue made her bite her lip; her thoughts only of how he was leaning closer and closer and closer-

She raised up to meet him, and their first kiss was anything but chaste.

Open mouths slotted against each other and tongues danced for both of them were starved. 

Seconds passed without breaking, and tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as her lungs began to burn the longer they kissed, but she only held onto him tighter. Clutching his hair to push him more into her mouth.

Her Highness felt possessed with the need to drown in him.  For him to take all her breath- to devote her final moment of life to be with Rafayel’s lips on her and their left hands intertwined- but he pushed distance between them and her lungs rose with a rush of fresh air.

He fumbled to find his mask as his own breathing came out ragged and wheezy, and realizing it was the thing prodding against her back she hurriedly shifted to grab it and give it to him. 

Slotting it over his nose, Her Highness held it there so that he could regain whatever life force Lemurian’s needed without the ocean in this tepid desert. Watching his beautiful face scrunch with sweat and desperation as his chest heaved, a little bit of guilt tugged at her heart.

”Are you okay?” She asked once able to talk, hips rolling slightly against the leather of his pants and he pressed it further against her clothed core as he nodded. Sweat beading down his forehead.

”More than okay.” He rasped, grabbing her hand gently to remove the mask. His skin felt feverish as he pressed a kiss up the column of her neck. “Never felt easier to breathe.”

”Y-you’re burning up Rafayel!” Her Highness gasped as he sucked at her pulse point. Shuddering up into his chest as she kept seeking friction against his leg. 

“Yeah. You make me this way, ya know?” The zipper of his shirt was pulled down, and she tried to wiggle to a position where she could see his skin, but he held her firm in place as he nipped her ear. ”Only you Princess…”

She whined, one knee hooking around his leg to try and get more pressure against her aching center as she urged him down for a kiss.

He was ever attentive, and he unwrapped her leg to reposition it on his hip. Shifting so there was room for his hand to push aside her garments and slide his middle finger down through her tender folds.

Princess broke the kiss with a gasp- looking down to see in the moonlight the glistening on his gloves as he now pressed a thumb to tease her entrance with delicate circles.

The texture of his glove felt electric, and she keened in approval.  The hand not holding the mask flying down to encourage him to go faster with a grip on his wrist.

“Yes! There- need you there!” She muttered breathless.

”As my Princess wishes.” Rafayel obliged, hair sticking to the sweat on his brow as he kept his eyes locked on the sight of her beneath him. Thighs trembling in anticipation for him to stop teasing.

He moved downward to prop himself on an elbow near her hip, shifting her leg onto his shoulder. In this position, the sliver she could see of his defined abdomen made her lick her lips- though quickly her tongue was replaced with teeth as he dutifully inserted a finger.

Pants of encouragement fluttered out of her lips as he moved the single digit in and out. Reaching places in her walls her own hands never could, and when his middle finger joined Her Highness found herself babbling. Squirming her legs around the sheets and his shoulder while fisting the corner of a pillow as words tumbled out of her.

“OoH  y-your fingers shouldn’t be used for holding d-daggers RafAyelll they should be for something wonderful like paaainting or or piano or-“

”Making you feel good?” He interrupted her rambling, curving one of the fingers inside her and her back ARCHED at the sensation.

”YeaaHHHhhh-“ She moaned in agreement. Rafayel was pistoning at a faster pace and she felt the intensity inside of her building- it was nearing the precipice of going over and his thumb grazed a bundle of nerves that made her see stars-

But it all was interrupted as a blood curdling scream ripped through the air from somewhere in the palace and all at once the motion stopped.

Rafayel was alert, looking over his shoulder as he listened.

No no no no no she had been so close but his warmth was gone and he was off the bed moving to look out a window.

”Rafayel?“ She panted, rolling over and reaching towards him. “What’s the matter?”

A curse in a foreign tongue made dread seep into her heart.

”TCH! The guards are on the move.” The blazing pink in his eyes was gone when he looked back at her, moving with great speed as he snatched his mask off the bed. She missed grabbing him by seconds, flinging herself onto her other side to try and catch him but he was too quick. 

“Are you leaving?!” She asked, panic rising her voice. 

“I have to.” Is all Rafayel said in response as he put the mask back on.

“But what about…” Me.

Rafayel looked at her, laying on her stomach now with her clothing in disarray. Eyes blown wide and panic written all over her pretty face that was still flushed from the pleasure HE had been giving her moments ago. Body still crying for attention she only wanted from him.

He took in a deep breath, and zipped up his shirt.

“I'll explain later.”

Her Highness’ entire body deflated in dismay and tears welled in her eyes as he hurried to the balcony. He was leaving. He was actually leaving after- after she had begged him to not leave her here!

She jerked her head to face the opposite wall as tears stung down her cheeks. She couldn’t watch him go. Watch him leave her shivering and lonely and ACHING. Fuck was she aching and unsatisfied. 

She could stop him with a sentence, but selfishly, she wanted him to make the choice. Wanted someone to choose HER and not her heart for once in her fucking LIFE but if not even her most important person would then- then-

Her scream/sob of anguish was muffled by the pillow she grabbed to dull it, but it still reached Rafayel’s ears as he climbed down the wall.

His entire body was revolting at him to go back to her. She needed him, his beloved bride had been beneath him while her walls pulled him in and throbbed around his fingers and she’d BEGGED him to take her in marriage and in body and he was just leaving her-

But his duty to the Lemurians who relied on him kept him moving down. Away from her. 

Rafayel knew what happened to cause the scream. Algie and Marietta.

Algie had promised to stay hidden. Had begged and begged for weeks for him to let her observe life at the palace from the shadows, and tonight he had relented because the summon of the fishtail beacon always made him too eager to think properly. 

The blood of whichever human they had killed was on his hands, not theirs. They were young still and freshly filled with the bitterness of vengeance. He, however, was the God of the Tides. He should have instructed better. Observed more closely.

That was why he had to make sure they weren’t caught and punished by the humans.

The lake was in sight, but Rafayel paused to allow himself another steadying breath. He had to be focused on helping Algie and the others, not back in the high bedroom where his twitching desire begged to return. 

Despite his rightful title as the Sea God and how much he was able to control his mind, at his core he was still just a Lemurian deeply and utterly in love. Which was why, before going into the water, he looked at his wrist where the gleam of her slick still clung; and he licked it clean.

====

The Princess was unwell the next morning, so her meetings with suitors were postponed till the afternoon.

It didn’t stop Natasha from sharing the news that was all about the palace: The gruesome murder of the head cook.

”Eyes clawed by nails too sharp to be human the maids are saying!” Natasha shivered as she swept the beads on the floor up. “I dread to think the rebel Lumerians are able to make it into the Palace… does not the very thought make you frightened?!”

From beneath the cocoon of blankets the Princess gave a vague noise of response.

She felt like she’d barely stopped crying on and off since she’d been left, and the dehydration left her with a pounding headache. 

A lemurian rebel was the very cause of the mess Natasha was cleaning up, and part of the princess found it humorous. But most of her just ached.

Natasha was unfettered by the lack of response, and kept talking.

“It scares me something dreadful! I don’t understand how the markets seem so unphased with all the murders that have been happening, but I suppose since Lemurians are a luxury only the highest of nobles can afford they’re clueless to what they are I bet. Though the Lemurian singer has caused quite the intrigue among commoners because of your acts of giving her food. As usual Your Highness is an emblem for the people to follow and-“

”Natasha?”

”Yes, Your Highness?”

”Be quiet, and stop talking about Lumerians.” 

“Y-yes Your Highness.”

Natasha left her soon after that, and at last sleep found the Princess though so exhausted was she that she had no dreams. 

Or perhaps even the oceans of her mind followed Rafayel’s example and discarded her.

She could not sleep the day away no matter how much Her Highness wanted to, as a few hours later Natasha was back and she had to refresh herself for the upcoming visitations.

A lie about how she’d dropped a book on her neck while reading was enough for Natasha to not question the dark spot on her throat, and a dress with a high collar was chosen to hide it. 

As Her Highness stood, looking in the mirror as Natasha laced up her dress, she tried to steele her resolve. She refused to be defeated and just lay around and let things happen to her. If marriage was an unavoidable option then she was going to delve headfirst into making it happen in a way she approved.

Not in the way she wanted anymore… that option had left her crying all night, and she couldn’t bear to think of it any longer.

”Natasha do you… truly think a marriage might save me?”

”Whatever do you need saving from, Your Highness?”

”Forget I said anything.”

The fruit trees had yet to be harvested when the Princess strolled through them to the sitting area circled round a fountain with the royal family standing center stage as marble statues.

It was built to commemorate the wedding of the King and Queen and the establishment of the royal family that would lead the desert kingdom into a new age of prosperity, yet Her Highness barely spared it a glance as she sat on a bench. 

She was readying her resolve for the afternoon of callings, and she couldn’t allow herself to get distracted. 

Natasha stood off to the side, and the Queen was watching from a balcony above as guards escorted the first hopeful suitor into the orchard.

He was dismissed ten minutes into the call, for he was not of high enough rank to provide any leeway of freedom to her if they would marry, and the next man did not last much longer for he kept staring at her bosom.

Six suitors in all in 3 hours.

Number three seemed to have potential, till he slipped that he’d crave a treasure of a woman like her to never leave his side and bitterness was immediately in the Princess’ mouth as she asked him if he often traveled. 

He had never once left the palace, nor did he have any plans to ever leave his manor.

Number 4 was old enough to be her great grandfather, which could open options of independence if he was to soon die- but quickly Her Highness remembered her heart did not allow the denizens to pass away of natural causes, and though she was not opposed to having him assassinated the only one she know who could do that was… 

With a sniff to hide the immediate sadness and pulse of longing that wanted to sprout at the thought of him, The old man was sent away.

Five lasted thirty minutes, but he also seemed to think of her as something to be put in a display case, and he dismissed her as anything but a breathing jewel.

Number six was Lord Dashing.

”Your Majesty.” He bowed. “Forgive me that I was not able to call upon you sooner to finish our conversation of my adventures, but your time seems to be highly sought after these past few days. Completely understandable of course but… I brought you something to make it up all the same.”

From behind his back, he produced a bouquet of strange flowers.

”I’ve never seen these before!” Her Highness gasped, taking the bouquet to inspect each unique bud. “Are these from-?”

”Beyond the desert? Yes.” Lord Dashing smiled, glad to see she was excited. “Not only that, they’re fascinating flowers that only grow during something other kingdoms have- winter.”

He explained what winter was, and the Princess just could not wrap her mind around the concept.

”Nights are cold out in the desert I’ve heard, but you’re saying if rain and cold happen at the same time something called… snow happens?”

”Hard to imagine, I know.” Lord Dashing chuckled, now sitting beside her on the bench. “But I swear I saw it with mine own eyes. Water that falls from the sky gets so cold that it becomes soft ice that is gentle to the touch yet burns you still. If I could have bottled some up for you, I would have. However… the heat of the desert takes it almost immediately back to water. ”

For the first time since last night, Her Highness felt a spark of delight.

”I’d like to witness snow in the desert one day! It sounds… magical.”

”It truly is a wonder. The locals thought me mad the way I was fascinated with it. But it coats the trees like icing sugar on a pastry! I commissioned a local artist, recommended to me by the Crown Prince of Starfell, to paint me landscapes of the snow so I might take the wondrous view back home. When I get it, I shall have to show it to you.”

”I’d like that! Tell me more, you mentioned trees? What kind.”  An hour passed, and Her Highness picked Lord Dashing’s brain of all the questions she had.

Forests existed, which were large grouping of trees much like an orchard yet naturally occurring. Lord Dash had gone on an expedition with Prince Xavier and his knight in one of these forests and encountered something called a mountain. A large rock formation that was taller than the palace.

Lord Dashing, Her Highness slowly realized as they talked (a little reluctant to even think of it), was a good option for marriage. He traveled often, so she would have time to herself to escape or even maybe sneak along one of his travels, and he was not bad conversation when they had to be together. Perhaps this was the marriage of convenience everyone talked of. 

The Queen seemed pleased by this, drinking tea and smirking with satisfaction as she looked down on them.

 However, the conversation took a swift pitfall.

”The oddest thing about traveling to such a far away place is objects we take for the norm are unfathomable to them. For example, they’ve never heard of Lemurians as anything but myths! They could hardly believe me when I told them I can have one gifted to his Majesty Lightwood.”

Her Highness’ back stiffened at once, yet Lord Dashing did not notice. He continued talking.

”Speaking of Lemurians, I’ve often wondered what became of the one that my Father gifted you for your birthday years back.”

What.

WHAT.

”I… did not know that was your family.” Her Highness spoke as her mind reeled but one thing was immediate and certain.

Lord Dashing was off the marriage list. She could not marry into the monsters that gifted her Rafayel.

“Quite alright Your Highness.” It made her skin crawl the way he was talking about this in the same tone he had in speaking of a peculiar rock he’d picked up from beneath his boot. “It was lacking the usual markings to show it was from us, but because it was for you father thought it rather crude to brand it.                                                              . He prided himself on the trade of Lemurians, and though it is not my main pursuit I do keep up the family business. My question still stands, however. Might I know? I’ve never seen him around the palace.”

”I’d-I’d rather talk about anything else.” Her Highness said numbly. The sun felt too bright all of a sudden, her throat parched and unbearably dry.

She’d had no idea. The gifts given to her were always a blur of faces and voices, and Rafayel had mattered more than anything else that happened that day. 

Rafayel- Rafayel DID matter to her still. More than anyone on Philos.

“I would not take offense if you had him killed.” He had the nerve to say and then CHUCKLE. “It’s difficult to keep them alive sometimes, fickle things for supposedly being so magical.” 

That was the final tinder for the fire that sparked in the Princess’ soul, and she stood up. The bouquet hit his chest with a hard THWACK. Petals scattered all around.

”HOW DARE YOU! To even insinuate that I- I would KILL him is-” She could not even get out the words. She was beyond furious. “If I had known you had such a foul aspect of your soul, I would have dismissed you much earlier! You may go.” 

She ignored the combined calls of Lord Dashing and Natasha for her to wait, and she stormed out of the courtyard. Slipping down hallways and passages blindly in her anger.

She was not going to marry Lord Dashing, not anymore. He was off her list. Fuck, everyone in this wretched palace and surrounding city was. Red hot tears blurred her vision, and she almost ran into a side table holding a vase when an arm dashed out of a room and pulled her in.

”HEY-“ She yelled in protest, yet the words halted when her forehead hit against a familiar chest and her vision became all purple leather.

OH. She hadn’t expected to see him again so soon.

”Hey to yourself, Your Highness.” Rafayel’s voice was almost apprehensive as he secured the handle with chains to keep it closed. “Hope you don’t mind the interruption but I thought we might need to talk.”

”Yes, we do.” Clearing her throat and quickly wiping her eyes, she pulled out of his hold and walked further into the room with her chin high and arms crossed. It was an unused parlor, with white sheets over the furniture and curtains drawn to let in sparse light. “I am in a rather bad mood so let’s make this quick. Or are you distracting me again so someone else can be murdered?”

”That is not what happened last night!” He protested, but the Princess’ temper was already high so she snapped easily.

”So you can tell me it wasn’t a Lemurian who killed the cook?”

”I cannot, because it was.”

She hadn’t expected him to admit that so quickly.

”Well- for what reason then?”

”It’s complicated for humans to understand.” 

Arms crossed, she finally looked squarely at him.

”I would say our current relationship is complicated. Try me.”

His sigh was tired as he rubbed his forehead. Maybe he had slept as well as she did.

“Alright. I’ll tell you because I want Your Highness to understand why I had to leave.” The reminder made emotions immediately roil in her chest, but the next words out of Rafayel's mouth caused her whole world to halt. “There are two young girls in my care. One four and ten years and the other nine.”

Of all the things Her Highness had expected, that was not one of them. She blinked rapidly, processing the information that Rafayel was a guardian to children while he continued talking. 

“The youngest is Marietta. She’s lived a difficult life, even for a Lemurian because she is one of the last of us who is- I believe the humans use the term “purebred”.”

Her Highness had heard those words before, when she’d been handed Rafayel’s chain.

“It is rare nowadays for Lemurians to successfully have children with each other, because when the oceans still existed it was dictated by the moon controlling the tides when fertility was at its highest potential, but that connection is no more and so it’s a squandering chance for two Lemurians to produce a child. Most Lemurians have human ancestry because humans are…” Rafayel paused briefly. In that pause though, a million potential words flung through the Princess’ mind. “A species that relies heavily on repopulation.”

“You make us sound like rabbits…” Her Highness coughed, looking away to hide how her face burned. 

“Or gerbils.” She could hear the teasing grin in his voice, yet it quickly dropped back to serious. “Either way, a human involved is the easiest way for many magical species to carry on. Lemurians, Dragons, gods- no matter how many generations pass humanity never overtakes the essence of magic within blood. It is why slavers do not care if a Lemurian babe has been sired with a human. They’ll sell them all the same.”

This reality of the world they lived in made bile build in her throat, and she swallowed. 

“A child born to two Lemurians is treasured by us but seen as nothing but a chance at a higher price point for humans. Marietta’s first few years of life were in a dark cage trapped with her mother till she would be old enough to sell. I intercepted the caravan on the way to the auction, and her mother shoved her into my arms through the bars.” There was a far off look in his eye as he recalled the moment. Sorrow evident in his voice. “I couldn’t save them both.”

“Rafayel…” She stepped closer, but he kept looking at the grandfather clock between the windows. Draped like it was, it almost resembled a body covered in a funeral shroud.

“Her mother was sold to the head cook of the palace, and he murdered her a few months ago when she would not love him.”

“So Marietta…” 

Rafayel nodded. Regret creasing his brow.

“She was not supposed to leave the base last night, but when I heard the scream I just knew Algie snuck her out. I had to make sure they were not caught since they are my responsibility. Not to mention just children forced to live in a cruel world by circumstances they had no say in.”

A wave of foolishness coursed through Her Highness as she looked at Rafayel- handsome even in this dust dappled light and with tired eyes- who had weights on his shoulders she hadn’t even bothered to find out about. Even though she claimed he was her most important person she hadn’t cared enough to find out about him beyond what he does when she calls for him.

Too stuck in her own little bubble reflecting her own worries back at her to notice how many people Rafayel had to care for. She was a pampered princess who had never had to be beaten or starved like the Lemurians… people deprived of their very home in these twisted sands and forced to servitude by the people who took up the space they should freely roam.

 How many worshippers did he have in situations like Marietta, yet he still relented to her silly whims and requests when she called for him? He was truly a merciful god with more kindness in his heart than anyone else alive. More so than she for certain, with her supposed divine heart that humans worshipped because she merely existed. 

What right did she actually have to ask him to take her, she realized with widening eyes. What had she ever done to deserve the attention and devotion she’d pleaded of him?

  Her hand hovered near his cheek, and when he noticed her hesitation, he leaned into her palm.

“It’s unlike you to be left speechless, Your Highness.”

“I’m sorry.” Was all she could get out. And she was, for so many different things. 

For being just another burden on his shoulders. For being angry at him without waiting for him to explain like he said he would. For having thought she could be with anyone else.

“Why are you apologizing?” He asked, gently grabbing her arm to bring her closer. Hand sliding down to her laced wrist.

“I thought you abandoned me. I was so scared and angry that I convinced myself of it completely and I… almost accepted an arranged marriage.”

He was stunned for a moment, before his eyebrows lowered in urgency.

“Did you?”

“No. No I did not and I was a fool to ever think I could.” She must be a selfish person down to her very soul because even now she sought his embrace for comfort. He gave it to her. “No one is as good as you nor even close to as handsome. You were right to call them all villains.”

His laugh reverberated against her ear. Humorless.

“Good. If you had accepted a marriage I would have had to kill them.”

Her grip around his torso tightened. Her heart beat with a thrill at his words but her mind frowned.

”I’d rather you kill me so I would not have to live beneath the thumb of the King and Queen anymore.”

Rafayel’s breath caught in his throat and he stilled unnaturally till she could not even feel his breathing lift and lower his ribs against her cheek. 

Her Highness rested her chin on his left pec and peered up at him, surprised by the storm in his eyes as he looked out the window.

“Rafayel?”

He did not answer her just yet, and a hand moved to the back of her skull so he could position her gaze away from him. Right when her nose started to become cold from touching the cool zipper of his shirt, his mask pressed against her forehead.

“I have someplace I wish to take you, but the preparation will take a few weeks and the journey will be long.” 

Excitement thudded her heart against her ribcage in such a way he had to be able to hear it. 

“I can wait however long you need! Just… do not abandon me. That is all I ask.”

Rafayel’s finger hooked beneath her chin, and raised her gaze. Devotion she didn’t think she deserved was in his eyes replacing the wall that’d been there earlier.

“I promised I would come back for you all those years ago, Your Highness, and I will keep that promise as long as I have breath.”

Reaching up, she removed his mask. Swallowing hard as her lower lip trembled slightly at the overwhelming emotions coursing through her.

She felt immense love towards him. She felt hatred for herself. She felt anxiety that they would be torn apart. She felt a heart that was never her own for once aligned with her body in want, and she stood on her tiptoes. 

This kiss felt more like a first one than their actual one had. Tender and chaste and only lasting a moment.

“It’s unfair for you to be the only one with a promise, so I’ll make one too.” Both of her hands grasped the sides of his face, and she tried to convey how much she meant what she was about to say through her entire being. “I promise that I’ll become someone worthy of being by your side in these weeks.”

His throat bobbed.

“You don’t-”

“I do.” Her Highness cut him off, shaking her head. “A spoiled princess is not deserving to be with a god. I realize that now. If I want to leave the palace walls, I have to be prepared to be more than just a Princess.”

“If… that is your wish.” He brought her left hand up to his lips, and pressed a kiss to the knuckle of her ring finger. “As long as you stay your silly self at your core. I quite like you, ya know.”

With a giggle, Her Highness ignored the distant sounds of guards and maids calling for her, and let herself drown in Rafayel a moment longer before the door handle rattled and they had to separate.

“Your Highness?! Are you in there?!” Natasha yelled through the door. “Please come out and talk with Lord Dashing he wishes to apologize-”

Rafayel had stepped one foot back, looking around to sneak out yet at the name of the Duke he seemed to change his mind. A slight squeak erupted from the Princess as her walk towards the door was interrupted by an arm snatching her waist and bringing her against Rafayel’s firm frame.

“Don’t tell me that duke was the one you almost agreed to?” Rafayel’s low voice rumbled next to her ear. Bitter and possessive.

“I didn’t know he was a Lemurian trader at the time!” She hurried to explain, twisting her neck to look back at him. “Believe me; I wish I had something harder to throw at his face than just flowers.”

Rafayel’s eyebrow raised. 

“What did he do to get you so upset?” 

Natasha answered for her.

“Your Highness must understand that your feelings toward Lemurians are unique! He did not know you valued the Lemurian that was gifted to you but I explained it to him and now he’s willing to apologize. Please, Your Highness-”

“GO AWAY NATASHA!” Her Highness commanded, and her voice must have been filled with enough authority that she complied. A defeated huff followed by footsteps retreated from the door, signaling Natasha had left. 

 Rafayel pressed a kiss to Her Highness’ cheek. Bending her over slightly with the weight of him against her upper back.

”Cause of me, huh? I’m honored Princess.” The curve of his smile was gentle upon her skin as it gave another kiss to her increasingly warm ears. 

“Of course because of you.” Her fingers traced along the softness of his jaw with a slight pout. Savoring how it felt in ways she couldn’t the night before. “He dared insinuate that I had you killed, it was the most insulting thing I’ve ever been accused of!” 

A sharp intake of breath, before his voice against her ear was low and ticklish.

”I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be pleased that a stray mention of me is the only deterrent from you accepting a brutes hand. If I had not come up, would Your Highness have taken him?”

“... I wasn’t in my right mind.”  She muttered, embarrassed.

One of Rafayel’s hands rose from her waist. Leaving featherlight touches up to the bottom of her ribs where he splayed out his large hand against her stomach. Thumb grazing against the bottom swell of a breast through fabric.

“After finding this out, I am more inclined to hold you to your promise.” He confessed. “I asked you to be careful around him and this is what you do at the first opportunity? Tsk tsk, how could you, Your Highness?”

”I meant it when I said I was sorry and I need to do better.” Her cheek puffed out a little. “You should know though it’s incredibly difficult to have a clear thought when your mind is so distracted from-“ Realizing what she was about to say, she stuttered to a halt. “Er, nevermind. I’ll leave it at that.”

“Really? You’re not going to tell me what keeps you from having a clear head? I think that’d be rather useful information to have, don’t you?” Rafayel’s chin rested on her shoulder, gently swaying her back and forth. 

“It… it’s a rather human thing.” The Princess tried to brush aside, swallowing heavily. 

“Even more reason you should tell me. Humans think they have Lemurians all figured out yet we’re left clueless to humans. It’s unfair. Your Highness should rectify that as your first step in improving human and Lemurian relations.”

Her smaller fingers danced anxiously over Rafayel’s knuckles and wrist. Trying to think of how to say it without exactly saying it.

”It’s difficult to think well when you’re promised a breathtaking view yet right at the precipice of,” A swallow, and she tried to hide her face with her hair. “Pleasure, it’s taken away and you never reach the satisfaction of the journey. You’re just left with a trembling ache of what could have been…”

A beat passed.

”Do you want me to make it up to you?” Rafayel’s voice followed by his teeth grazing her ear was enough to make her knees weak. The hand that had been on her stomach moved to palm the weight of a breast. “I don’t want Your Highness to be left suffering.”

Living in the desert meant fabrics were often thin yet layered to help with cooling, so even through all she wore she could still feel the way his fingertips pressed in slightly to squeeze. It elicited a gasp and her eyelashes fluttered. Her neck stretched back, and taking the opportunity Rafayel dove in to press a trail of kisses along her jaw.

“They- they know I’m in here.” Her Highness reasoned. Catching the hand that was beginning to slide down her hip from wandering too far down. “I don’t want you to be caught, Rafayel.” 

His sigh was heavy, yet he eased his hand back down to her stomach.

”You are fulfilling your promise too fast. If you achieve your goals so soon you’ll have nothing to look forward to.”

”Of course I’ll have something to look forward to!” Turning her head, she nuzzled her nose affectionately against his. “You making it up to me~”

One last kiss (that lingered more than either of them should have allowed with the racket of guards approaching) before Rafayel released his hold on her and put his mask back over his smile.

“I’m going to go first, so all the attention is on me.” Her Highness decided as she made sure her clothes were in order. “Be safe, Rafayel.”

He nodded, unshackling the door and watching as she slipped out before slamming it closed loudly, alerting them that she left with a loud question.

“IS HE GONE YET OR DO I NEED TO MAKE MYSELF MORE CLEAR?!”

The way the castle staff moved around her yet never for her was evident as at once almost everyone ran from the room as a hoard. 

It made Rafayel chuckle, before it faded to quiet contemplation.

Elder Amund swore Her Highness was the reincarnation of the usurper who stole the Heart of the Sea God eons ago through trickery and deception, and the others believed him. Rafayel had believed him, once.

 Had allowed himself to get captured into slavery because he knew it would get him in front of her to begin a retaliation using the same methods the Elder’s swore had been used thirty thousand years ago…

It had been easy to believe it was right being forced to his knees and chain yanked so he would properly bow his head. Dressed in faux clothes of luxury that were nothing more than glorified wrapping paper with a bow on top presented to her as a rare pureblooded Lemurian who could sing and dance to her hearts fancy.

Rafayel had forced down a snarl. It was his heart, and he was going to get it back one day so these wretched sands would get flushed beneath waves and sea once more and all these humans would drown. Or he would burn them.

The spoiled Princess especially, who regarded him with wide innocent eyes sheltered in a palace of luxury while Lemurians suffered. His fingers twitched with the desire to carve into her chest and rip the still beating heart out of her, yet he could not be rash. 

This was a long game of deception and trickery. He had to earn her trust. Had to reach a point where she’d give the heart to him willingly.

It was off to a good start, he supposed, when she gestured to the spot next to her feet for him to sit. 

His disgust only increased as he watched every noble in the city bring forth their birthday present for her. Pointless displays of wealth that she barely even blinked at before she dismissed them to bring in the next person. He did pick up on patterns, however, as the hours went by.

Food seemed to be the number one interest for her. She’d perk up and actually listen if it was a dish she didn’t know of and she’d look like a kicked puppy when her Mother sent it away to be eaten later.

As well, cute animals made her smile and emit a loud squeal that could have made a person go deaf. It was odd, how she would get handed the animal, and then turn to him and present it. As if looking for his approval.

“Isn’t this cute? I think a cute dog like this deserves a name like… HMM… I don’t know many names actually… You’ve been outside the palace though, haven’t you!” She’d said with sudden enthusiasm, pressing the puppy towards him. “You can help me name it later then! That’d be fun.”

He doubted that would be fun, but the dog was cute, and was the only other thing in this room wearing a collar. He scratched behind its ears and shrugged.

That was enough for the Princess, and she put the puppy back in its basket and a maid carried it away.

That started the odd habit of her getting a gift, and then looking at him to see what he thought of it.

Most of the time he’d notice her gaze, and shrug. Not having an opinion on any of these that wouldn’t get his tongue cut off. But when he couldn’t contain the slight flinch when a cat was presented with a pretty bow around its neck, she noticed with a frown.

He thought he was about to get his first scolding, but instead:

“This can be your cat, Natasha.” The Princess hummed, and dumped the furball into the arms of her lady’s maid. “I want it to have enough attention so it will grow healthy, and with all the pets I have I don’t think I could. So consider this a make up for all your birthdays you haven’t let me get you a gift!”

As the maid fumbled through accepting it, Rafayel supposed he was one of those pets.

 Yet, the first thing her Highness did when night fell and she was allowed to return to her room (tugging Rafayel along with her), was unlock the shackles on his wrists and they clattered to the floor.

“What’s your name?” She’d asked, conversationally, as if her actions hadn’t completely gone against everything he had expected her to do. 

Where was the cruelty? She looked incapable of even hurting a fly as she flounced about in a dress that shaped her like a pastry.

But, reminded himself, he had to stay vigilant. Tricks would not work on him this time.

When he did not answer, she pouted.

“That’s okay I guess. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Names are important! That’s why I wasn’t given one.” She picked up a stuffed animal of a sand seal and held it aloft to the light. Fidgeting the flippers around so that it was waving. “At least, that’s what father tells me. He says if I had a name the commoners would use it to curse and be rude, and bad people would try and control me with it so… everyone just calls me Princess.” She sat down, crisscross, and sighed. Her voice getting quiet. “Having a name sounds nice though, which is why I want to make sure I name my new dog something fitting. Because if it doesn’t have a name, how would anyone really know it?” 

Rafayel still didn’t speak, but he sat down on the floor as well. She took that as a good sign, and kept talking. He was hardly listening, however. 

She was right, names held power, and that control you could have with a name was exactly why he was never going to give her his- but how could she not have one? Someone who’s very essence and soul had left an imprint on the Tome of the Sea God was just sitting in front of him with just a title to be called? Did the humans not hail her as their savior from death? Right now the festivals in the city were about to begin celebrating the birth of the Princess-

But did any of them actually care for her?

It was better this way, Rafayel had supposed. Would be easier to kill someone who is more concept than living.

The last question she asked him before she went to bed, was if he did have a name.

He nodded that he did, and she smiled brightly. 

“Kids who get names means their parents love them, so I’m glad you have a name! Though you’re probably very far away from your parents here…” She fell silent after that, and crawled into her bed and rolled away from him. “I’m sorry.”

That night, Rafayel had a dream that he knew as a memory as soon as he awoke.

He had been in Lemuria before the fall, had met a human girl when she’d been tossed into the ocean by humans, and- 

And he had fallen in love with her, and she with him.

He had stood in the halls of the Sacred Flame and asked her to be his devout follower. She replied with a tease about how asking for something so important would need something of equal value in return.

Rafayel had offered her his heart.

He woke up in a cold sweat and the realization that the Elders were wrong. The Princess was no thief, the heart had been given willingly.

His whole world felt like it had been tilted on its axis yet also he had never understood what he had to do so clearly as he did then.

An undertaking only he could shoulder.

All these years later, Rafayel stood in that empty parlor listening to Her Highness’ voice get farther and farther away, and he apologized for lying in his head.

The preparations for the trip would not take as long as he said, but there were other matters he had to be sure of before he went to Elder Amund and told him it was time. But also selfishness spurred the untruth.

For the Lemurians, they would think it a trip where at last the thief will be punished. 

For Her Highness it will be a journey of starting anew.

But for Rafayel… it will be a farewell.

Closing his eyes, he placed his hand over the cavity where his heart should be:

“Six weeks. Stay mine for six weeks more, my beloved bride.”

====

There was tension in the palace the next few days, though over what Her Highness had no idea. 

Sure, the Queen had been furious that she refused to even consider Lord Dashing anymore, but the Queen was always mad at her for something or another so that couldn’t be why staff were skirting around corners like frightened mice.

Whatever the cause was, Her Highness decided to take advantage of the distracted state of the castle

It was perfect to claim she needed a private concert to soothe her nerves, and she was guided to the locked room where the Lemurian singer she’d promised Rafayel she’d help free was living without question. 

It was so easy to demand the guards turn their backs, and though the woman could barely contain her scowl at the very sight of the Princess, she relented to sit across from her.

”Does Your Highness have a specific request in mind?” The woman asked, voice carefully even tempered.

”Hm, something… calming.”

With a nod and straightening of posture, humming began as she set the tempo for herself before words flowed out more beautiful than any bird.

 As the song went on, and Her Highness was sure everyone was distracted, she slipped the Fishtail beacon out from her dress and held it tightly in her hands as out of sight as she could.

The Lemurian noticed, however, and her eyes widened while catching on a word. Quickly recovering, she now watched as the beacon glowed a soft purple in the Princess’ hands with a confused divet in her brow. 

Satisfied that Rafayel now knew where the songstress was being imprisoned, Her Highness hid the beacon once more and settled herself to fully enjoy the song. Closing her eyes and swaying a little from side to side.

 When it ended, the Princess declared she was pleased, and left.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

At the break of dawn a day later, the Lemurian singer was gone.

It was the catalyst in the most unsuspecting way.

That afternoon the King summoned Her Highness to his study. His face grim.

”It should never have come to this but the Lemurian rebels have forced my hand.” He began with a sigh as he stood and strode to a tall window. Hands clasped behind his back as he looked out. “I’ve kept you here, in this palace, to keep you safe. Protected from the vermin out there who’d take advantage of your miracle heart. However, it’s become more and more apparent that these walls are no longer safe. Over the past few months three nobles have been assassinated, and just this last week the Head Cook was murdered a stones throw away from your bedchambers. The Lemurian Rebels are getting bolder, and they will one day come for you. I know it. They’ll expect you here, however, so… the Queen has convinced me to allow you to leave the Palace.”

Leaping out of her seat, Her Highness was sure she was dreaming. There was no way this was real. Yet all she could do was stare in utter shock as the King continued.

”I’m sending you to stay at the Duke of Third River’s manor.”

The excitement and hope that had surged forward immediately was replaced by dread. No, the Duke of Third River? that was-

“Lord Dashing?!” Her Highness could not hide her contempt. “Why him of all people?”

”Because this is a trial run for him to prove he’s worthy of my approval.” 

Her blood ran cold.

”You cannot mean approval of marriage?!” She rushed to grasp his sleeve. “Father tell me it’s not!” 

“That is exactly what I mean.” The King did not even try to be reassuring in his tone, nor did he even bother to look at her. “He has asked me directly for your hand, and after much consideration I’ve concluded he might be worthy enough to marry you, the Princess of our Kingdom.”

”But-“ Her Highness was aghast and speechless. Floundering to try and form a coherent sentence through her shell shock. 

“Nothing you say will change my mind for me and the Queen are in united agreement. You’ll leave before nightfall, for I fear the Lemurians might strike under the cover of darkness. Natasha has already packed your things. Guards, escort her to the carriage.”

”Wait- but I need-“

He wasn’t listening, turning now to pick up papers off his desk as guards flanked either side of her and lifted her by the arms. Carrying her all the way as she kicked and protested with increased intensity and fear.

She did not have the Fishtail Beacon with her. 

Natasha was waiting for her by the wheel of a carriage Her Highness had used to dream of being able to ride, but now she didn’t even want to see it. She couldn’t believe this was actually happening. She was being physically forced to go to Lord Dashing and Natasha could only look a little sheepish.

”I was ordered not to tell Your Highness, in case you tried to escape.” The maid explained, and her Highness scoffed as she was finally set down. Wrenching her arms free and sending the guards a searing glare.

”Because I’m supposed to allow myself be kidnapped willingly?!” 

“It is not a kidnapping, it is Lord Dashing’s apology! I told him that the highest likelihood of you forgiving him was if he was able to fulfill your deepest wish, which has always been to leave the palace. Is it not romantic that he’d fight so hard to gift you this?”

No. No it was not romantic.

Romantic was Rafayel always offering his hand before guiding her to the balcony to escape. Romantic was how he’d always rub his thumb- fleetingly yet firm- overtop her knuckles before securing the grip more tight. Romantic was how Rafayel said her title like he was actually speaking to her and not just the concept of her existence.

Beneath the dark edges of his persona she’d seen the cracks revealing the inherent romanticism of Rafayel that he had to suppress in the reality of a dangerous life. Had felt it in the way he held her. Kissed her.

For Natasha to even compare Lord Dashing’s behavior to him was infuriating. Insulting. A deepest betrayal!

“I don’t want to hear another word out of you.” She snapped at the maid as hands tried to encourage her into the carriage but she braced herself against the doorframe to prevent them. That only made their attempts more forceful, and with enough shoves they eventually got her to topple in and hurriedly closed the door behind her. Sealing her into darkness with only a glimmer of light.

The birdcage was not enough, it seemed. They now were transferring her like a prisoner and she didn’t even have the fishtail beacon to tell Rafayel where she was. 

They- they were not going to marry her this weekend, right? 

No, father had said this was a trial. Which meant there would be time after this to tell Rafayel. There was also time to do as much as she could to get Lord Dashing to not want to marry her anymore. Stubbornness was a trait of hers that she could wield like a weapon and make herself insufferable.

As she sat, stewing in her frustration, she realized that here she was. Leaving the palace at the command of her father like she had begged for her entire life yet she couldn’t even be happy about it because it wasn’t a sign of freedom. It was just another corral to force her like cattle into the way of life they wanted. Another way for her to be the Princess and not the person.

She could hear commotion of people talking as her carriage went past. People of the city wondering who was in the royal carriage perhaps? But there was not enough space to look out and see what kind of streets she was passing. Though- she was hearing another large gate clanking as it rose, meaning she was only now leaving the palace? 

That would make sense, yet another two gates passed before the talking increased ten fold and now calls of merchants drafted through the air which had to FINALLY mean they were really out of the palace.

She wished she could see the path they were taking, but when at last the carriage came to a stop she knew it would be within another set of walls.

====

”Your Highness, it is my deepest pleasure to welcome you to my home!”

Lord Dashing greeted as a footman opened the door. Hand outstretched to help her out the carriage yet moments ticked passed and she sat stockstill. Arms folded in defiance and staring straight ahead as if she had not heard him.

There was a hint of annoyance in his sigh.

“You’re still mad at me I see. I’d been rather hopeful that your Lady maid had been right that bringing you here would cause your forgiveness but… that is a matter I feel no rush in absolving.” Grabbing one of her hands, he pulled Her Highness out of the carriage with a heavy yank. She had no choice but to fling her hands out to balance on his chest and he looked down at her triumphant in his smile. “Supper is upon us, Your Highness. I’d be honored if you joined me.”

The only choice she had in all this was to hold her tongue, and so she did.

She didn’t respond to a single thing he said over dinner, and rebuffed all attempts at conversation during a brief stroll with him through a courtyard. 

By the end of the day, her jaw was tense from how hard she’d been clenching it, though she could not fully rest till Natasha had left her as well.

She felt tired, yet it  was too odd laying in an unfamiliar bed to fall asleep. Tossing and turning didn’t help because the pillows were uncomfortably soft with no support, and the silk bed sheets slid off her body at the smallest movement.

There was no moon to tell her what time it was, but her eyes had long adjusted to the darkness. When she sat up she could move around the bedroom without bumping into anything.

 She slowly opened the door and stepped out into the sitting room attached. Her best way of telling how much time had passed was by listening to the voices of the guards stationed outside in the hallway, and sure enough it was a different pair then who had been there when she’d first been led here and locked in.

The guards were talking of how Lord Dashing had been terse by the end of the day. Displeased that he hadn’t yet won her over. The Princess was very pleased about that and with herself for staying strong in her convictions, and she stepped away from the doors to not alert them she was nearby. Looking around at all the shadows around her.

Part of what made these bedchambers so unrestful was the stiff air and scent of cleaning products, so she went to a window and unlatched it open a touch. Just enough to let the wind cycle in some freshness.

There was a chaise lounge nearby, and she settled herself on it and stared up at the night sky. 

Usually, on nights like this where sleep evaded her, she’d reach beneath the pillow for the Fishtail beacon and call Rafayel to her and ask for a story to aid her in reaching slumber. But here, she had no beacon for Rafayel to find her.

Sighing she slid down the chaise with her arm above her head and closed her eyes.

Frustration was quickly descending into sadness now that she was alone. 

  Years of thinking Natasha was a friend who cared for her, yet she was really beginning to question if it was true.

How could an actual friend keep insisting that Lord Dashing was romantic when this whole visit was a charade to show he was just as capable of locking up the Princess as her parents? 

The signs of it were everywhere, even in this very room. 

Hidden as decorations were bars across the windows that she could not slip through, and the locks had been reversed so the outside controlled whether she stayed in or not. 

It was not surprising that a man who made his money off the slave trade was good at making inescapable cages, but it still was terrifying to be in one.

Terrifying still was how Her Highness foresaw the ending of this trip being pleasing to the King. He’d approve of Lord Dashing’s methods for sure. The way he prettied up his security so that it befitted a princess to outsiders who ooh and awe at the very idea of her existence, yet it would not allow for any behavior that the King had always thought uncouth.

Would this be her future if she married him?

She certainly feared it would. 

Every piece of furniture had a place on it for a chain to attach a shackle, and if she disobeyed him too much would he find it necessary to put one on her?

 Would he clamp her ankle every night to make her sleep in the same bed as him?  She could see it in the way his eyes drifted that he was considering it even now. He’d said it did not matter if she would not speak to him, for her presence was all he needed, and there was no doubt he had been telling the truth. 

He’d care not if she bit off her own tongue because she could still be dressed up and displayed as an achievement on his arm to balls and tea.

And Natasha still thought it all romantic.

The maid came in early the next morning to find Her Highness still on the chaise, and she sang the praises of how good of a match Lord Dashing was as she hurried to get the Princess dressed for breakfast.

Her approval only grew when Lord Dashing had quite the itinerary for the first day.

A morning walk in the garden where he talked about his upcoming plans and the Princess easily ignored him as her focus stayed on the winding water of the Third River that cut through multiple points of his estate. 

She was just considering if jumping into it would alert Rafayel that she was here when the Duke’s voice cut through her musings.

”Though of course I had to decline King Lightwood’s invitation because our honeymoon will be happening at that time.”

Natasha, walking a few steps back, could not help but giggle in delight at the thought while Her Highness gave him a pointed scowl, yet held her tongue from snapping at him for he would consider it a victory if she talked to him at any point during this stay.

”Hehe, you’re very cute when you’re being difficult, Your Highness.” 

Oh, she wanted to punch him for how pleased with himself he sounded but instead she clenched her fists and returned her gaze back to the river.

She needed to just grit her teeth and get through this so she could get back to the palace. To her Rafayel. 

She could endure anything as long as at the end of it she could put her arms around Rafayel and complain of it as he held her.

She was going to have a hefty list of complaints indeed, for after the garden, Lord Dashing fancied tea and grabbed her hand and would not let go the whole march to the gazebo. His hands on her shoulders forced her to sit, and then he took the seat across from her as if he had done nothing.

“I’ve been told this tea is your favorite. As expected, an exquisite woman has matching tastes!” He tried to honey it on as a maid poured the tea, and a waft of the blend reached Her Highness’ nose.

Immediately, she scoffed, turning as much of her as she could in her seat away from him.

The Queen’s favorite tea, of course.

She might have known that woman had everything to do with this but that only confirmed it. That woman either loved nothing more than to pretend the Princess was a replica of herself or simply could not care enough to remember what anyone but herself liked.

The good thing about the gazebo she was now stuck in, was that it was over the water. 

The bad thing about the gazebo, was there was nowhere to escape Lord Dashing.

“You know Your Highness…I must tell you that I’ve had feelings for you for quite some time.” Lord Dashing said as he lowered his teacup. “When we were children I would get giddy at the very thought of seeing you. You were always so far away, however. Always standing so beautiful out of reach. But now, at last, you’re within grasp.”

Her Highness lurched back as his fingers suddenly grazed her cheek. She pressed up fully against the back of the chair as she looked at him astounded that he would have the nerve-

As usual, he found her contempt for him amusing, and he smiled wickedly. 

“It’s never been fair that you’ve been forced to stay within the palace. Your existence is a miracle that everyone should be able to witness so they know exactly who they’re thanking their eternal life for. Foreign emissaries don’t even believe you exist. The Princess of the desert is just a lie the Kingdom made up to make ourselves seem grander than we actually are… but, when we marry, I can prove them all wrong.”

His face shifted from amusement to an almost crazed stare.

“You’d like that too, wouldn’t you? To marry me and end all the rumors and falsehoods that circulate you?” Lord Dashing stood. His body blocking out the sun as his shadow completely covered her. “After our vows, there will be a parade that will take us through the entire city. Calming the fear of those who think their life could end and convincing those who dare claim you are not divine that you are.”

He was leaning over her now, and her knuckles clung to the armrests so hard they were white and her nails scratched the paint off the wood. She tried to look away and push him off but one hand clamped down on her shoulder to keep her from getting up, and the other grabbed her chin to look at him.

“In my travels to other kingdoms I’ve realized how close sighted everyone is with the potential of what you could do. Why is the limit natural causes? Ever since my father and brother were murdered I’ve wondered if it is within your power to grant someone complete and everlasting immortality… but something as special as that could not be given to anyone. No, your heart would only grant such a thing to the one you love. I will become that person you hold so dear that you can’t stand the thought of me dying!”

Fear was starting to overcome the anger, and Her Highness brought her hands to try and claw his grip off of her- but it only made him tighten his hold, and grab the side of her head to keep her from flinching away as he kissed her cheek.

If he had something else to say as a part of his grand monologue she did not give him the time.

She felt like a caged animal scratching and pushing to free herself- drawing blood from his hand as her nails raked across the back and she hit him in any place she could reach till at last she was able to get out of her chair and stumble to grab hold of the railing. 

Her mind was reeling to try and figure out how to escape from this. How to get away from Lord Dash who was standing between her and the exit.

“Tch. The more you try to resist the harder your future will be.” The table was knocked to the side and Natasha’s scream mixed with the sound of the tea set shattering. The Duke’s shoe slammed into the puddle of tea as he advanced towards the Princess. “I’m the best option you have, and it’s about time you stop being difficult and agree, Your High-”

A blade of a dagger pierced through the hand Lord Dashing had reached out towards her, causing him to stumble back and slip on the mess he’d made.

Amongst the spurts of his blood, Her Highness’ hope soared.

She knew that dagger.

“Rafayel!” Her throat was hoarse from lack of use as the name tore out of her. Hurrying to her feet and looking down into the river. There was a split second where she wondered whether she should wait for Rafayel to come to her-

But that was the stupidest thought she’d ever had, so with the strength of adrenaline she hoisted herself up and over the railing and down into the cold water below before anyone could say her title.

====

Her Highness was cold, wet, and incapable of getting two steps behind Rafayel as they weaved through a busy street of the city. No one spared them a glance as her dress was hidden beneath a large cloak, but the adrenaline had long faded and now anxiety clutched at her heart and the only lifeline she had that she was truly away from the Duke was Rafayel beside her with a hand on the small of her back.

Rafayel led her to a door made of untreated wooden planks, took her up a flight of stairs that creaked beneath her feet, and did some sort of magic to unlock an otherwise unsuspecting entrance.

Urging her inside, he did one last scan behind them before closing the door and redoing the magic lock.

Her Highness lowered the hood of the cloak as she took in the place she’d been brought.

There weren't many personal touches, but a trunk was open against one wall revealing purple leather, bandages, and an assortment of fish like trinkets that looked like children had made them. 

She barely had time to process this was Rafayel’s apartment before she was being turned around and wrapped in a tight embrace.

“Are you hurt?” Rafayel asked, voice extra muffled against her hair.

“No. Just… scared.” Her Highness admitted as tears pricked at her eyes. Everything she had experienced in the last twenty four hours was crashing down on her and she felt exhaustion take her legs out from under her. Rafayel didn’t let her fall. “Tired too. I couldn’t sleep at all last night. Oh, Rafayel it’s been awful!”

“You can rest soon, but first you need to dry off lest you catch a cold.” There was a tenderness to Rafayel’s voice and touch as he carried her to a stool and knelt down to take off her shoes. A thumb pressed into the sole of her foot and an appreciative hum was his reward for easing the tense muscle.

“Rafayel…” She breathily said his name out of sheer want to have it roll off her tongue and have his eyes flicker to her. 

While waiting for her to tell why she had called him, his hands gathered her skirt to her knees and it made her hyper aware of her stockings and how they clung frigid to the skin. Though whether she shivered from the cold or Rafayel’s fingertips sliding under the skirt edge she did not know. 

The palm followed the fingers to press against the see through white stockings as his large hands traveled up either side of her thigh. 

(Leaning her hands on the edge of the stool, Her Highness immediately thought of her dreams and they way the ocean would caress her)

 Rafayel’s destination was found not at the apex of her thighs like Her Highness had hoped, but at the garter securing the stockings. One hand took the garter while the other was close behind to roll the sock down and off. When that leg was free, she slightly lifted the other one to beckon him do the same, and he did not need to be asked twice.

Her legs now bare, a kiss was pressed to the indentation left by a heel strap around an ankle before he stood.

“I don’t have any clothes that will fit you on hand.” Rafayel went to the trunk, rummaging around before pulling out a simple linen shirt. “This should be comfortable enough, however.”

Her heart beat quicken as she fumbled with the ties of the cloak. It fell to the ground as Rafayel placed the shirt on the table beside her. 

“I cannot undo the corset myself.” The Princess confessed, drawing her hair away from the ribbons in the back. “Help me?”

”Who else would?”  It was a statement of fact for there was no one else here, and she’d have it no other way.

With great dexterity he began untying and loosening, and Her Highness removed all her rings and bracelets from her person to the table. They did not talk; the room was only the sound of metal hitting metal and the occasional snap when he pulled a ribbon through quick. His progress was evident as her sleeves slid more and more down her shoulder till they collapsed to her elbows and this time it was chill that made her shake.

A towel draped over her head, and Her Highness closed her eyes and leaned backwards slightly as Rafayel began drying her hair. Tousling it from side to side while using his control over flames to seep warmth down into her scalp.

“Mm~ Rafayel,” She spoke after an apprentice hum. “How did you know where to find me?”

The towel fell to her shoulders, and his thumb pressed lightly into a tension knot at the base of her neck and rubbed careful circles into it with his heated fingers.

“You called for me, didn’t you?” 

“I did.” She admitted with no shame. “I wanted you to rescue me so desperately I almost threw jewelry into the river in the rare chance it would catch your attention. But selfishly I delight in your ability to always find me, so I don’t regret not losing my favorite ring.”

”Why your favorite?” He asked.

”I thought offerings to a god needed to be something important, no?”

A humor filled puff of air left his nose, but he didn’t dispute it.

“Hardly the practice anymore but I accept the olden ways when it’s the right person.”

 His ability to release tension in her shoulders felt like something that should be worshipped, and she was lost for a moment in the relief and pleasure of his hands.

 “Mmmm~ maybe I should expand your title to include master masseuse.”

“I have a title? Am I the last to know?”

With a curling smile, the crown of her head bumped against his chest so she could properly look up at him.

“Rafayel, you are the most important person to me, the only god I believe in, and the man who I’m in love with. Does that not deem itself worthy of a title?”

It was mesmerizing. The slight catch of his breath and the widening of pupils as his hand raised to cover the parts of him that shone the most beautiful shades of pink from her view.

“You shouldn't say such things so casually, Your Highness.”

“It's not casually. It's with my whole heart, mind, and soul.” Her Highness hooked a finger through one of his collars and yanked him down so their noses brushed. “I realized an undeniable truth about myself these last two days… I do not care where I go, as long as you're with me.”

Her words coursed through him like water from a broken dam and she watched the multitude of emotions fight for centerstage in only his eyes and brow. When he was like this, he was rather like the different kinds of ocean she saw in her dreams.

After a moment, she laughed.

“You'll make me feel embarrassed about my love confession if you keep your eyebrows tightly notched like that, Rafayel!” Pressing a quick kiss to the spot right above his nose and between the brows, Her Highness stood. Letting her dress fall completely off of her so she was just in her chemise. The white cotton soaked so thoroughly that it was transparent at the parts where it clung to her. “I really don't want to catch a cold though so I'm going to change now and then collapse into a deep slumber!”

 “I’ll leave you to it.” He made his way to the door. His ear still pink despite how he kept his voice even keeled. “You need clothes for tomorrow and my spares will not do. The wards will keep you protected while I’m gone, and I’ll be back before nightfall.”

With Rafayel gone, Her Highness felt a little more open to bring his shirt up to her face and give it a hopeful sniff.

It smelled like him, and it helped her drift off once she was curled up on the thin mattress. Even though this was the first time she’d ever slept in a place not within the palace, she felt content to do so because Rafayel was her safety.

She truly could go anywhere as long as he was beside her.

Time had passed enough for the room to be cast in orange when Her Highness was brought from her deep sleep by the mattress indenting beside her as Rafayel sat. 

The calloused, bare skin of his fingers trailing up her arm.

“Change of plans, Your Highness. The journey I wish to take you will begin in the morning.”

”Okay…” She agreed blissfully. Not opening her eyes as she grabbed his wandering hand.

She dozed off content and of the clearest mind she'd ever had. Holding Rafayel's hand tightly against her forehead as the world faded into dark…

====

Her Highness woke up disoriented and confused. The culprit for her early morning the sun streaming through the Palace windows directly onto her face. 

She rolled from her side onto her back. Blinking up at the draped fabric framing her four poster. 

Had she… been dreaming? 

No, there had been no dream.

Why that felt so disorienting to her she had no idea. She'd never been one for frequent dreams, had she? 

She didn't know.

Getting out of bed was a sluggish affair that took a few minutes, and as soon as she stood she regretted it. 

Tiredness was her constant companion, the truest one she’d ever had these eighteen years. 

Her feet moved on their own as her mind numbly buzzed around in her skull.  She blinked, and she found her hand moving up and down to scatter fish food into the large tank.

She forgot what she kept in there, but she'd seen flashes of movement among the crevices of rock and wood occasionally, so whatever it was, it still lived. So, she kept feeding it.

There was a geode in one corner of the tank that caught her eye as she set the container of fish food down. 

A grimace briefly pulled on her lip remembering the suitor who had given it to her, but any contempt drained out of her to be replaced with the murky waters of indifference.

None of them mattered anyway.

Today was her wedding with Lord Dashing, wasn’t it?

Right. Yes, that was why she'd forced herself out of bed, because Natasha wanted to elaborately do up her hair and make up before they left for the temple.

Having no motivation or strength to do anything else, Her Highness sat at the vanity and waited for Natasha to arrive.

When she did, she seemed shocked to find the Princess still in the room. 

“OH! Goodness, I'm glad to see you did not try and escape Your Highness…” Her tone of voice gave way to worry.

“Why… Would I do that?” 

Natasha’s fingers on the case she was carrying grew white. 

“Because you've always- Never mind.” Natasha cleared her throat. “It doesn't matter. Let us get you ready for the ceremony.”

Blink.

Her hair was brushed.

Blink.

It was being pinned into a bun.

Blink.

Strands were curled and Natasha was carefully framing them around her face.

Blink.

Her face was covered in make up.

Blink.

She was standing, wearing an elaborate white gown trimmed with floral lace, and Natasha was circling around her pulling the edges of the skirt out so it was at proper fullness. 

Natasha stepped back to observe all she had done, but there was a notch of concern in her brow that she covered up with a smile that was genuine.

“You look like the most beautiful bride, Your Highness.”

Bride?

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

She was still standing in the same spot she'd been before. In front of the large floor to ceiling mirror, yet she felt awake for the first time even though the clock on the wall told her she'd been up for hours.

 “Bride?” 

It did not sound right whispered from her own lips. No, her voice was too high and sore from lack of use to be what she was looking for but- but she was looking for something.

“Bride.” She said it louder this time. “I'm… someone's bride.”

“... That's right, Your Highness. You're to wed the Duke of the Third River today.” Natasha did not sound convinced of her own words.

“No.” The certainty in Her Highness’ voice shocked her. “Not Lord Dashing's.” 

A flicker of blue in the fish tank caught her eye in the mirror, and she turned and moved past Natasha to stand in front of it and gaze at the blue fish as it swam out from its hiding spot. It was looking directly at her.

“Natasha… who gave me this fish?”

“Why, your most important person, Your Highness.”

Her heart was beating fast as if confirming Natasha's words to be true.

“But, why do I not remember who that is?” 

“I don't know, Your Highness. You… have not been well these past few weeks. Perhaps I should get a doctor?”

Her Highness had stopped listening. Bending down eye level with the fish, she could faintly see her reflection looking back at her. 

She loved this fish. Memories were coming back to her of all the mornings spent talking to it like it was her closest friend. Memories from back when she was a child to just two months ago. 

She’d said something to it… about dancing?

 There was someone she'd wanted to dance with. A figure in her minds eye that was shrouded in shadow cast by a large, flickering flame. Featureless and out of reach.

Was he her most important person?

“Ah, that knock must be the head maid and guards. I'll… Tell them to wait a few more minutes, but then it will be time to leave.” Natasha left.

Her Highness wanted to meet this important person. So badly, her heart HURT. 

Physically hurt. 

A burst of searing pain hit throughout her entire body with a jolt, and she lost balance and collapsed to the floor.

 A hand flew to her chest to clutch at the center point of these pulses, and she stagger crawled to the comfort of her bed. Hauling herself up by clawing at the sheets and shifting the entire bedding around by the time she managed to get to her feet.

Her vision was blurred and her breath ragged, and blindly she felt around for something her mind didn't know but her heart did.

Fingers wrapped around something cold, and the pain eased to just a dull throb.

Blinking into focus was an odd object that'd been hidden beneath the mountain of pillows yet revealed by her unceremonious disruption of the bedding.

 It reminded her almost of a hairpin, the way one end was dull and pointed while the other was decorated in the shape of a fishtail. 

Walking back to the mirror, Her Highness slipped it into her hair amongst the flowers Natasha had decorated her bun with. Tucked where it was, it was disguised as purple leaves to a rose.

That felt right. She should never lose this, and she felt a brief bite of frustration that she'd forgotten it.

“It's time, Your Highness.”

Natasha opened the bedroom door, looking solemn, and this time… Her Highness felt the same way.

====

In the carriage to the temple, Her Highness tried to take advantage of the lonely ride to remember SOMETHING about her most important person, yet there were only 2 things she knew for sure by the time the horses stopped:

She did not feel whole without him

The more she tried and could not remember, the fiercer and more frequent the pain in her heart became

It almost took her to the floor as she exited the carriage, but many hands caught her.

A chorus of voices asked her if she was alright.

“My- my heart…” She gasped out, sweat pearling from her forehead. “It hurts-”

Silence. 

Not a single person breathed as she was half carried inside, yet soon the worried whispers started.

Blink.

She was sitting down in front of a large mirror in the bridal suite of the temple, and the head maid was requesting the King and Queen be summoned at once.

“I do not think that would be wise! Their presence might even make it worse and- and what if her heart gives out??” 

Natasha.

She knew who her most important was, and the realization gave Her Highness renewed strength as she whipped around and grabbed Natasha's wrist.

“Tell me!” Desperation and pain oozed from her words. “Tell me who my most important person is Natasha PLEASE!”

Confused, Natasha stuttered.

“It- it Is the Lemurian you were gifted for your birthday many years ago. He had purple hair, I believe? I’m not sure you released him the next day so I did not have much time with him. But as thanks for your kindness he gave you your fish. Why are you asking me though? Surely you remember him much better than I do for isn't he the one who's been sneaking you out of the palace?”

The silhouette in her mind gained purple hair and the pose stopped being lifeless as a hand lifted- beckoning her to take it like he was escorting her somewhere.

“Purple Haired lemurian?!” The head maid gasped. “Is that not the description of the Rebel Lemurian's leader? It was him who assassinated a Baron of the Seventh River last week.”

Natasha was now being interrogated by everyone as more and more people filtered into the room and picked up on the conversation. The head of the church themself arrived out of concern of the news that the eternal heart was hurting, yet Her Highness tuned out them all.

She could feel leather gloves beneath her fingers as she accepted the silhouettes hand. A dagger was put on his hip, as that was the weapon of an assassin, and his face was half hidden by a hood and mask. 

She knew the curves and dents on the mask. Remembered them against her lips.

His chest was firm and sturdy, and she'd pressed both palms against it a few weeks ago in a tent in the desert. She’d straddled him, and her thighs were indented by belts and zippers. 

She had known his name then. Had said it in a begging tone as she told him she was cold. That she wanted to be warm.

She'd been so warm when their bare skin pressed together in sweat and passion. He had a beauty mark on his left pec and she'd worshipped kisses against it as she had no strength anymore to match his thrusts, but she needed him to know she loved it. Loved how he felt inside her throbbing and large-

His shuddering breath and pants had been directly beside her right ear when he finished. 

In the present, her hand moved to press against the lower part of her stomach, currently covered with the maiden white of her wedding gown, and she leaned closer to the mirror. Staring into her own eyes to try and see if his complete form was in them.

Eyes.

His eyes looked down at her with amusement as she complained she was too sore to walk. The firelight he'd summoned making the pool of pink in the blue stand out.

The most gorgeous mix of colors she'd ever seen. How did she forget them?

Why had they been in the desert? 

He… he had needed to show her something. He was taking her someplace. 

Yet… she had already known it. Clarity coursed through her mind at seeing- seeing something and she had known where to go. Known how to find something.

A black flame was in the palm of his hand. Her own blood had brought life back to it for but a moment.

Her most important person needed to kill her to save his people. 

Yet- yet here she was in the temple. Alive and breathing (though for how long with the way her heart was, she didn't know). He hadn't killed her.

His whole face was suddenly complete and colorized in her mind. Full of sorrow as at last his voice completed the physical image of him.

“Goodbye, my beloved bride.”

Her Highness stood up with such force her chair clattered to the floor.

“Rafayel.” She turned, looking now at all the people who had gathered as they stood silent and confused. “I need to find Rafayel!”

“But Your Highness-” The Archbishop stepped in front of her. “The wedding is-”

“I'll die.” She cut him off. Chest heaving with pain and certainty. “If I am not with the one I love my heart will not last another year.” 

Gaping in shock, the archbishop seemed, for the first time, to look at her fully.

He took in her sickly features, and thought about how he had woken this morning to his bones aching in ways they hadn’t since she’d become princess. His wife as well hadn’t been able to get out of bed for her coughing was so fierce…

“Your words are true.” The Archbishop realized, and a gasp carried through the room. “So our Kingdom will not fall, Her Highness must not marry Lord Dashing!” 

“I- I must alert the queen of this at once!” The Head maid ran out.

”Who is it? Who does Her Highness need to marry, then?”

A voice called.

”The Lemurian Rafayel?” Another guessed.

”YES!” Her Highness yelled, turning to that person with urgency. “I need to find him. Where is he?”

”The Lemurians base was found last night.” The Archbishop told her. “They’re probably fleeing the city as we speak but- but if it is so my wife will not die I will pardon all of their crimes in the eyes of the church!”

”My mother- she’s sick- will she die if Her Highness does not find this Lemurian?!”

”Wait- if Her Highness marries a Lemurian leader does that not mean a Lemurian will be king?! I-I’m going to free the Lemurians I own right now!!”

”Someone go lock Lord Dashing in his room so he does no interfere!”

”GUARDS! ALERT EVERYONE THE KILL ORDER IS REVOKED AND NO LEMURIAN WILL BE HARMED TILL HER HIGHNESS FINDS HER LOVE!”

The voices were all too much and not important, yet they followed her as she ran out onto the steps of the temple. 

Up on its raised dias, the temple overlooked the entire city and palace and she felt hopeless to find him in all the streets and buildings below her. 

She looked left, then right, then left again as she took the steps two at a time till she reached the bottom.

How did she summon him before? She would do SOMETHING that would bring him to her but what?!

Her hand flew up and her bun fell out of place as she pulled the fishtail beacon free and held it in her hand.

Behind her, the King and Queen’s voices were shouting, arguing with the Archbishop and nobles but Her Highness couldn’t care less. 

She took off running. 

She ran and ran. Not noticing her left hand bleeding from how tightly she was holding the beacon. Her heart was thumping loudly in her ears, guiding her with relief and jolts of pain through paths she’d never taken before till she reached the gates separating the palace from the city.

”OPEN THE GATES!”

”LET HER HIGHNESS THROUGH!”

”DON’T STOP HER!”

People were still following her, shouting orders to the guards who scrambled to raise the gates.

The sun was almost at high noon, yet the closer and closer Her Highness got to the outskirts of the city the better she felt. More alive. 

She hadn’t realized how deprived of energy she’d been. How her body was slowly edging towards eternal slumber till now that it was back to its usual vibrancy.

There was a group gathered near one of the city exits, and Her Highness recognized the style of their clothes.

A ripple of shock coursed through them as she pushed through, though they were much more concerned about the group behind her to pay the bride in white clutching a blood covered fishtail beacon more than a passing glance.

She could see him. Standing in the sands next to a camel and the Elder who for once was not scowling at her. 

Rafayel was there, staring at her too shocked to even move till she collided into him. Leaping into his arms knowing he'd catch her. And he did. The momentum shifting him back a few steps and turning them a half circle till he balanced and her feet were back on the sand.

“Your Highness, how-”

“HOW DARE YOU!” Her bloody fist hit his chest as she looked up at him. Eyes welling with all the emotions she had tempesting inside of her. “Our bond is eternal; Our vows everlasting. How dare you try and sever them! I am your devout follower yet you- you abandoned me to be someone else's bride!?” 

The tears began falling, and his face became blurry but his grip on her waist tightened. His breath sucking into his lungs sharply. 

“I am yours Rafayel. Whether the Tome of the Sea God says it or not!” His hand curled around her trembling fist clenching the beacon. His forehead resting against hers and she closed her eyes. There was no pain. Her heart was unnoticeable and beating as it should again. “I'm either your bride or no one's. I'm by your side or dead.”

She nuzzled her nose against the stiff leather of his mask.

“Please. Please don’t sacrifice us.”

He let go of her hand, and pushed her back by the shoulders.

She tensed, preparing for her heart to crumble at his next words and she stared down at the blossoms of crimson on her gown. Her tears staining the golden sand.

“Our bond is eternal; Our vows everlasting.” Rafayel's voice was devoted and clear as he grabbed her left hand and brought it to press against his chest. “I'm either by your side or dead... What kind of god would I be if I denied such a heartfelt prayer from my Beloved Bride?”

“A cruel one.” Her Highness sniffed, blinking the tears off her lashes as Rafayel pulled her against him and guided her to look at him. His mask was hanging around his neck. “But you've already done one cruel thing to me, you're not allowed another!”

He smiled, the moisture in his eyes glimmering.

“I’ll make it up to you by showing you the sea.”

[ooooo-mcyt]

I love Pearl so much, she's such an interesting character.

I feel like Pearl is someone who is constantly in conflict with herself, always torn between what she wants, what she think she 'should' do, what's expected of her, and what she's capable of.

Pearl wants companionship, she wants friends, she wants to relax and have fun. Pearl can be a very friendly, fun, and chill person. She's honorable and most of the time loyal. Pearl is most comfortable during peace times, or, barring that, when she's fighting beside someone.

She tries to drop the anger and hurt of her past too. Pearl wants to forgive, wants to feel better, wants to rebuild bridges with the people who hurt her, and the people she hurt.

But there's always the spectre of 'Scarlet Pearl'.

Part of it is the expectation of other people. Everyone still remembers her victory, the blood on her hands, looking at her and seeing a threat, or a weapon. Ironically, though, the person who wasn't present for Double Life is somehow the worst. And Pearl wants to do right by Gem, wants to give Gem what she needs from her, so she tries to fall back into that persona, covers herself in red and promises to fight beside Gem, but it never quite works, Pearl can never quite meet the expectation of violence people have for her.

But it's not all about other people, is it? That would be too simplistic, to say Pearl is only what other people make her into. I've never thought of Pearl as particularly weak willed, the expectations of other people is a factor, but Pearl has her own reasons for always glancing back at that persona that never quite fit.

For starters, there's an empowerment to it. A safety in feeling yourself covered in blood and gore, in knowing you're capable of painfully clawing your way to victory. Pearl doesn't want to be 'Scarlet Pearl'- never wanted to be, not really- but there's something comforting, I'm sure, about the concept, the myth, of what she's capable of, something that's hard not to want to recapture, at least a little bit.

I also think there's an aspect of guilt repression. It's something Pearl struggled with a lot in Double Life, in a lot of things, but especially when it came to Scott. Because Pearl did hurt him, and I don't think she ever fully convinced herself he deserved it. You see in Double Life, over and over, the way Pearl will falter or even backtrack sometimes, just to convince herself she doesn't care if she's hurting people. I suspect it's still a relief to have the 'Scarlet Pearl' persona to lean into sometimes, this image of someone who doesn't feel remorse (even if that was never really true), something Pearl herself utilizes when topics come up that she doesn't want to think about, wants buried, this version of herself she likes to think never regretted a thing.

I honestly think Pearl is far too attached to the idea people have of what 'Scarlet Pearl' was, even if it's just a mythologized version of a hollow persona built as a defense mechanism.

People- including Pearl herself- keep digging up the bones of the myth of who Pearl was during Double Life, and even if it's not good for Pearl, even if she doesn't want to be that person, never wanted to be that person, can't be that person. It's an impossible expectation, one Pearl struggles to meet, and I don't think she'd be happy if she did meet it. But it's also comforting in some ways, easy to put on, even though the cracks seem to grow every time the mask is worn.

I'm just obsessed with Pearl guys.

[aklaustaleteller]

On One Condition

Klaus feels bad for messing up Y/n's exam preparation schedule, so he asks her what it is that he can do to 'earn her forgiveness'. Yet somehow, he manages to put up a condition when she asks him to help her with an art project...

Warnings - none, really.

Word Count - 1.4k

Masterlist | please reblog the fic if you like it!

So, I was rewriting an old fic when I decided to write a little backstory, i.e. this fic, and I hope you guys like it! I'll be posting part two within the next two days so yay!

Update: You can now read part two here!

She was something else, a feisty one who liked a good chase. And Klaus should've noted that from miles away. But he was too deep in now, and he wasn't going to back down until he had her.

He was waiting outside the school to catch Stefan, have a chat with him and warn him against trying to harm him because telling him off meant telling off the entire group, and Klaus found that lovely.

And he had just caught sight of Stefan when he saw her behind him, her hair bun not so tight as hair stands fell out and framed her face. She was walking with another girl who seemed to be trying profusely to convince Y/n of something -- probably a party if Klaus were to guess but he felt himself tuning in when she walked in a closer range to him.

"I really cannot do it, Vicki. Please try to understand that I'm myself giving exams right now," he heard her say, and then saw as she put her hand on her shoulders. There was softness in her voice that he'd never wished previously to be directed at him.

Bringing her in for a hug, Y/n explained herself again, as if she felt bad for denying whatever it was that Vicky wanted. "I would've helped you out had I not missed out on my preparation earlier. I’ve quite literally been studying the night before for each exam." She smiled, with what emotion Klaus couldn't quite see, but he found it beautiful, nonetheless.

"Why don't you ask Elena? I'm sure that way you'll bump into Jeremy a couple times as well," Y/n grinned, passing the squinting brunette a quick wink before turning back towards the exit with a sigh of relief.

Though it only took a couple steps for her to bump into Klaus, not so accidently. She'd seen him the moment she'd gotten out of the gates, and the fact that she had to pass him in order to reach her car only made her feel... more positive, let’s say.

She hadn't gone out of her way to slam into him, but he had. And the only other thing she has to blame is her spiteful walk that led the one library book she'd borrowed to topple out of her grip.

"Klaus, back off," she gritted, quickly picking up her book and moving once he did.

"It's not my fault, you know, that you bumped into me," Klaus said with a lure in his voice that suggested he just wanted to rile her up. "I'd apologize to me," he shrugged, a lopsided grin pulling up on his face when he noticed her turning.

"I'd tell you to go fuck yourself but that'd be a cruel and unusual punishment," she bit back, pressing her key to unlock the car.

"Please, save your breath. You'd probably need it to blow up your next date," Klaus teased, remembering the night Klaus had crashed her date and scared off the guy by doing nothing, really.

Sighing, Y/n gripped the steering wheel of her car and closed her eyes for a second. "Say something else and this book will become a lethal weapon," her voice was agitated as she warned him, and when he truly backed away with a proud grin on his face, she finally pulled back and drove home, daring to spare him a glance in her rear-view mirrors, an angry blush creeping up her neck when she caught his eyes.

Once she reached home, she didn't bother to lay out her clothes before jumping into her shower. Still, she buttoned up a loose striped cotton shirt and pulled her underwear up her legs. It didn't take her long to just decide on a pair of pyjama shorts.

After a good bowl of salad for lunch, she brought out her schoolwork to just do it on the porch considering the nice weather. But of course, that was a mistake because soon into her immersive study session, she was disturbed by loud clashing noises coming from the house across hers, Elena's house.

Taking a deep breath, she was just getting up when she caught sight of Damon and Stefan inside the house, speeding towards each other. It was purely for the dramatics, she was sure, considering the fact they wouldn't kill each other, they simply didn't have it in them.

She just felt sorry for Elena's dishes, maybe some of her furniture as well.

Twisting the knob she had just pushed the door in to go back inside the house when she heard a voice behind her. "Too noisy, aren't they?"

Klaus.

"You already messed up my preparation schedule once, Klaus. Do not dare to do it again," she said calmly, though her grip on the knob was probably tighter than normal.

With that, she decided to cross the line and enter her home. Then she turned around to face him, but he didn't seem to be in the mood to mess with her either.

"I came here to apologise, and perhaps, make up for the troubles I've caused you," he admitted, looking at her with such sincere eyes that she could've given in right then.

"And how do you plan on doing that? Plus, if this is a joke, I still have that book with me."

"You tell me what it is that will earn me your forgiveness," he said dramatically, making her look down to hide something from him, maybe a smile.

Opening the door wider, she looked at him and then hesitated a little. "Don't make me regret this," she said. "Come in, please."

Klaus was caught a bit off guard but managed to get inside, his eyes wandering right away to take in her house.

"I'm not sure how to word this really, so I'm just going to say it." Taking a breath, she sat on one of the dining table chairs and urged for him to do so too, getting a little flustered when he took the one right by her side and shifted so that he was turned towards her.

"What is it, love?"

"This might be a little ridiculous for you but it's very serious for me," she told him while maintaining eye contact to make sure he understood the situation.

Klaus simply nodded for her to go on, now leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.

"I know you paint, quite impressively, might I add but that's not the point here," she quickly shut the topic before Klaus could tease her.

"The point is, I have this art project that I said yes to under pressure because my favourite teacher asked me to. But were you to see even my handwriting, you'd know I'm no good at it. The most I can draw is a stick figure and even that's wonky sometimes," she admitted bashfully.

"I used to have a friend who'd do it for me, but she left town last year and now... I don't really have anyone who would," she let out a breath at that, her eyes closed in anticipation of his answer.

"So, you wish for me to help you out with this said art project?"

Sitting stiffly, she nodded.

"Okay then. I'll do it... but what is it?"

"Oh great!" She cheered; happiness evident on her face. "It's supposed to be this super zoomed in image of either a grapefruit, or a pomegranate."

Klaus leaned back in his chair then, sighing as he considered it. "I will do it on one condition," he proposed.

"And that is?"

"You will stay with me in my studio when I'm painting it," he shrugged, as if it wasn't so much a big deal.

"But were you not doing this for my forgiveness?" She narrowed her eyes, but when he began to get off the chair, she struggled for some answer to come out of her mouth before he could leave.

"Okay, okay! I will!" She agreed immediately, sitting back down in defeat when he remained standing, a smile on his face.

"I'll go now." He said, walking backwards towards the door and he could see the uncertainty in her eyes. He could've teased her about it but decided against it.

"Come by my house tomorrow, around three or four… your wish," he said before turning to open the door.

He turned back to see her reaction and a smile crept up on his mouth when he saw her smiling back at him.

"I will," she told him while waving him goodbye, stopping just before he sped off with his dead heart beating a mile an hour. 

[aangarchy]

Ok but the fact aang is a child. And thinks u have to forgive someone who killed ur family. I bet Monk gyatso and the others were rolling in their graves devastated they can't ever tell Aang the real deal that he would've been told when he got older.

Monk gyatso probably: NO AANG. ITS JUST ABT LETTING GO

Ah, yet another shining example of someone who missed the entire point of the show.

If you think monk Gyatso would be "rolling in his grave" (which he doesn't even have, and i'm pretty sure air nomads don't do graves anyway) to see Aang grant Ozai mercy, you have completely misunderstood what air nomad culture represents. Air is the element of freedom. Yes, it's about letting go, not having any attachments. But not having attachments also means letting go of your feelings of hatred, letting go of grudges, and not letting your feelings consume you. Aang understands that remaining angry and bitter will not bring his people back. All he can do, is try his best to preserve and protect his culture, and part of that culture is an oath of pacifism. Aang choosing to spare Ozai does not mean he forgives him, or his predecessors for what they have done to the world. Instead, he lets go of his anger and hatred towards them so he himself can be free. Maybe eventually Aang will forgive them, but i personally don't believe it's then and there.

If anything, monk Gyatso would be proud of the decision Aang made in the end. It's the ultimate middle finger to the fire nation to show that they failed at destroying the air nation. Aang is not only a symbol of hope for the other remaining nations to end the war, but also for his own culture to prevail, and keep existing in whatever limited form Aang can preserve.

I think what you're referring to is TSR, with "thinks u have to forgive someone who killed ur family", when he tried to teach Katara about letting go and forgiving. Aang wasn't doing that bc he's against Katara getting justice. If anything, he agreed Katara needed to face Yon Rah for her own closure. But he's not trying to teach Katara forgiveness so he can save Yon Rah, he's doing it so he can save Katara. He knew that if Katara went through with this she'd get consumed by hate and anger for the rest of her life. Zuko even admitted in the end that Aang was right about what Katara needed, and it wasn't killing her mother's killer. And Katara did end up forgiving someone at the end of the episode, namely Zuko. Katara still learned and accepted Aang's lesson by the end, when at first she insisted forgiveness was impossible.

Also I think you're forgetting that Air nomads swear a non violence oath. Gyatso swore this oath as well. So again, idk where you're getting this idea that Gyatso would be "rolling in his grave" to see Aang stick to this oath.

[thescarletnargacuga]

Art by @iamespecter

CHAPTER TEN

Caine and Pomni grow closer while making the next day's race! Caine can't deny his feelings, but Pomni is unsure! The other racers make their own mischief without a track to keep them busy!

WARNING: none!

~~~

Gangle hummed to herself cheerfully as she redesigned the paint sceme and patterns on her kart. She was feeling rosey pink today, so that's what her kart would be for tomorrow. She drew her custom designs on the control panel tablet and they appeared on her kart in real time. "Hmmm....I wonder how many white flowers I could fit..." She was so focused, she didn't notice Gummigoo standing beside her.

"Gangle-"

"EEP!" Gangle's mask went askew but she held it before it moved out of place further. "Oh, hi!"

"Uh, hey...can I talk to you?" Gummigoo looked around to make sure no one else was in earshot.

"Sure!" Gangle put down the stylus and gave him her full attention.

Gummigoo rubbed the back of his neck, feeling the scarred indents of Bubble's teeth marks. "I...I think something happened to me last night."

"A lot happened to everyone last night." Gangle giggled.

Gummigoo forced a small smile. "Yeah, look, I think something bad happened. I went to my room, blacked out and woke up standing in Pomni's room. She seemed rather freaked out by me being there."

"Oh my! I'm sorry, I didn't see you go in there. I was... preoccupied." Gangle glanced at Zooble, a light blush dusting her mask. "Have you tried talking to her today?"

"Yeah, but she brushed me off... wouldn't even look at me." His shoulders drooped. "I consider Pomni a friend, I don't think I could ever forgive myself if I had hurt her in some way...what do I do?"

Gangle put her hand on his shoulder. "Give her space for now. She'll come around when she's ready."

"What if she never is?" He couldn't handle the thought of Pomni never talking to him again.

"How about I ask her on your behalf? Maybe she'll talk to me about it. Girl to girl."

"I'd really appreciate that. You're a true friend, Gangle." Gummigoo smiled for real this time.

"Awwww, shucks. I try." Gangle waved him away bashfully. "Anyway, try not to worry too much. Pomni wanted you here in the first place. I don't think she'd change her mind overnight."

Gummigoo took a deep breath. "I'll have to take your word on that for now, but thank-"

"LOOK OUT!" Ragatha cried out.

Gummigoo turned around in time for a pb&j sandwich to smack him in the face. It slid down his stunned form, falling to the ground with a wet splat.

Jax was laughing his ass off. "I wasn't aiming for you, but I'll take it."

"What's the big idea!?" Gummigoo wiped off the smear of jelly and peanut butter over his eyes.

"I'm bored." Jax picked up a cup of yogurt from the dining table. "That's why." He chucks it at Ragatha, who ducked. The yogurt smacked the back of Kinger's head, who silently turned his head curiously. "Man, my aim is off today." Jax picked up a a mixed berry pie and aimed for Zooble, who had their back to him.

Before Jax could launch the pie, Zooble spoke. "Throw anything at me, and it'll be the last thing your arm ever does."

Jax changed the trajectory last second and threw the pie at Loo, who was hiding behind the furniture with Ragatha.

Gummigoo rushed to the packed table. The bubble chef hovered overhead, amused by the racers playing with the food. Gummigoo got a whole bowl of mashed potatoes, and dunked it on Jax's head.

"AH-MMMPHTH-!!" Jax was blinded and stumbled over a bean chair.

"Fooooood fiiiiiight!" Gangle cheered.

Everyone except Zooble scrambled for the table. They grabbed random handfuls of food and pelted Jax mercilessly. "I'LL TAKE YOU ALL ON!!" Jax warcried.

Zooble sat cross legged in a recliner, thumbing through a magazine. Not a spec of flying food touched them.

~

Caine and Pomni laughed hard together, out of bounds. Pomni has to brace against a colorful mushroom tree and wipe tears away as Caine held his ribs and kicked his feet mid air.

"So- so- okay-" Caine tries to talk through bouts of laughter. "So I said; why would the kart need more speed sets? It's already got three! Here, there, and GONE!"

"Oh my god..." Pomni continued to laugh. "I can't believe Kinger of all people would ask for that."

"Oh, believe it! He's more mellowed out these days, but Kinger was a real speed demon early on. Held the champion title for a record number of seasons." Caine took a steading breath, the occasional giggle escaping him.

"Could you add more speed of you wanted to?"

"Oh, definitely. The only limit is the game engine, but if I made everyone go top speed at all times, that would make the boosts and items pretty boring. Got to keep a pinch of chance mixed in with the strategy required to win a race. Keeps things interesting."

"Fair point." Pomni could finally breath normally again. She went to remove her hat to run her hand through her hair, but it didn't budge. She forgot she couldn't remove it. "Hey, um... what all can you do in the game? Are you really all-powerful?"

Caine was a bit taken aback and looked away as he cleared his voice. "I wouldn't say-....yes, I am. As the administrative AI, everything in the game is mine to do with as I please. The only exceptions are the racers. While I could certainly move you around if I wanted to, I can't control the way you act or feel or anything like that."

"Can you affect our clothes?" She tugged at her hat.

Caine looked her over, an embarrassed blush lightly displayed on the sides of his face. "...technically, yes." He wasn't sure were this was going.

"Then can you PLEASE let me take off this hat? It's a bit obtrusive."

"OH! Oh, yes, of course. Avatar changes are tricky, especially since- Nevermind, but I can help you with this." He put his hands on the sides of her hat.

Pomni leaned against the mushroom tree behind her, watching Caine curiously.

Caine focused and lifted the hat slowly. Binary code that made up Pomni's form was exposed. He ran his hand over the top of her head and the code morphed and changed color. Dark brown hair flowed from her scalp and glided between his fingers as he made it grow. The hair length stopped just below the base of her head all the way around. He smiled as he felt her soft hair slip through his fingers, his hand lingering just a bit longer than necessary near her cheek.

Pomni's eyes dilated watching Caine's expressions subtly change as he focused. Her head tingled as the hair grew. Caine's fingers brushing her cheek made her breath catch in her throat. Her digital heartbeat felt like it was trying to escape her chest.

Their eyes met, so close to one another. Caine's gaze drifted down to Pomni's lips.

"Thank you..." Pomni said quietly.

"You're welcome." Caine tried hard not to stare, but Pomni wetted her lips nervously and he shuddered.

"Hey, boss!" Bubble popped in.

Caine launched himself away from Pomni, hovering stiffly. Pomni froze in place against the mushroom tree asset.

"What!?" Caine said a bit too loud. His blush was dark red. Pomni's hat clutched tightly in one of his hands.

"The racers are destroying the garage." Bubble said with a smile.

"Good for them." Caine said, staring determinately in a random direction away from Bubble or Pomni. "Without a race, I'm sure they need something to do."

"You don't want to watch?" Bubble asked, mildly confused.

"Nope. Too busy. Lots of work left to be done on this new track if it's going to be used tomorrow."

"Okay, boss. I'm going to watch the violence." Bubble giggled giddily and popped.

Caine and Pomni both immediately relaxed when Bubble left. Pomni stepped away from the mushroom tree and looked over what she and Caine built. "You're right, there is still a lot to do. We got distracted there for a bit."

"Yeah, we did." He couldn't stop thinking about how close he had been to her. Thoughts of what could've happened if Bubble hadn't come in made his code buzz excitedly. He shook them from his mind and rejoined Pomni on the ground. "While there are still quite a few decorative assets to complete, the track itself is about finished. I'm going to sprinkle in a few jumps and maybe a tunnel for extra flavor."

"Ooh, how about a tunnel made of water?" Pomni smiled.

"I like the way you think." Caine smiled back and tossed her hat onto the same asset his coat was hanging from.

~

An entire plate of food crashed against the wall behind Kinger. He had barely managed to avoid it, moving his body back in a limbo bend. He was out of ammo and grabbed two cushions to throw back instead.

Everyone and everything in the garage was covered in food. The bubble chef kept making more appear on the table as the racers ran around upturned furniture.

Loo shielded Ragatha from an incoming jello mound. Green apple flavored gelatin went everywhere. Loo licked the jello off her lips. "Mmm, at least the food is good."

Ragatha playfully glared at Gangle, who had thrown the jello. "Take that!" She grabbed a handful of random mashed food on the wall and threw it back.

Gangle was hit square in the face, falling backwards. Her mask slipped, shattering on the floor. The sound of the breaking porcelain made everyone stop. Zooble slapped her magazine shut.

Ragatha nearly slipped on mashed food trying to get to Gangle. "Oh no! I'm so sorry! Are you okay!?"

Gangle lightly sniffed, gingerly picking up the pieces of her comedy mask. "Been... awhile since...this happened. I knew I should have...secured it better today." Her voice lulled slowly with a heavy rasp.

Zooble scooped up the pieces easily, then helped Gangle to her feet. They stood between Gangle and the others, not letting them see her tragic face. "Come on, there's extra glue in my room." They leave together to go upstairs

"Way to go, Ragatha. Now the mood is ruined." Jax complained.

"I didn't mean to hit her in the face! I really am sorry!" Ragatha called up after Gangle as the door to Zooble's room shut.

Loo placed a comforting hand on Ragatha. "I'm sure she knows it was an accident."

Ragatha didn't say anything as she brushed food off her dress.

Gummigoo shook mush off his tail, looking around. "Crikey, I think we got carried away." A bit of food fell from the ceiling and splattered on his snoot. He groaned.

"Without a race to reset the garage, we'll need Caine if we want this cleaned up." Kinger commented as he wiped undistinguishable food off his robe. He looked mournfully at the messed up cushions, no pillow forts could be made with messy cushions.

"Hey, chef?" Ragatha addressed the bubble in the room. "Would you mind asking Caine to pop over real quick and help us out?"

"No can do." The bubble shook in reply. "He's busy working on tomorrow's track with Pomni."

"They left?" Regatha looked out the window with it's blinds open.

"You didn't see them leave? You should pay attention more." Kinger said poignantly.

Ragatha didn't comment. She turned back to the bubble chef. "Come on, he can do it in less than a second. It wouldn't take much of his time."

"Nuh-uh." Bubble said with an even wider grin. "He's so focused he even has Pomni against a tree for comparison."

Ragatha blinked and looked to the others, everyone shrugged.

"...and taking off her clothing assets." Bubble announced.

Ragatha clapped her hands over her mouth. Everyone else struggles to pretend they didn't just hear that.

Jax picked up a plate and threw it like a frisbee it at the chef. The unhelpful bubble pops and the plate smashes against the wall. "Useless assistants."

~

Caine finished rendering a new spiral launch and took a breather. "That's the last of the track. This is going to be spectacular, Pomni! Thanks especially to you."

Pomni waved off his praise. "Oh, come on, all I've done is talk. You're the one doing all the work."

"My dear, creative brainstorming is a big part of what I do! The fact that you came up with most of this on your own, I'm impressed. What inspired you?"

Pomni looked around at the dark light colors and soft lighting. "I think I just like pretty things that shine in the dark."

"How poetic." Caine smirked.

Pomni smiled bashfully. "Maybe this is what I liked on the outside..."

Caine watched her carefully. "...how much do you remember?"

"Not a lot. I remember snippets and I dream, but nothing solid. Like, I can't remember where I'm from...where I grew up....if I had a family..."

"I'm sorry." Caine said quietly. "If the exit wasn't the way it is, I'd let you go back in a snap, but for what it's worth...I'm glad you're here."

Pomni wiped away a tear that tried to sneak out. "It's not all bad. The others are fun to be around, and you've... made me feel pretty welcome."

"It's what I do." He took off his hat and bowed dramatically. "Caine, Race Host Extraordinaire, at your service."

Pomni giggled. Before she could speak further, a large asset started blinking some distance behind Caine. Pomni saw it shudder and glitch, her eyes widened.

Caine got up from his bow and saw Pomni staring into the distance. "Something wrong?" He goes to turn around but Pomni grabs his wrist.

"No! Nothing! Sorry! I just, uh- had an idea! Yeah! We haven't made insects for this track yet. Kinger would be disappointed if we forgot." She quickly glanced behind Caine, the asset was normal again.

"Gadzooks, you're right! What an oversight! I know just the thing for a track like this, but I'll need your help." He slid his wrist out of her grasp to hold her hand.

"What could I do? I can't create things out of thin air."

"Not alone you can't, but with a little bit of administrative access..." He snapped his fingers and his hand holding hers glowed a dim gold.

Pomni's palm felt warm and tingly. Her gloved hand buzzed and pixelated a little before going back to normal.

"...if you can conceive it, you can achieve it. Now, visualize in your mind what you want to appear."

Pomni closed her eyes to focus. She thought hard on picturing a moth. It's what was on the top of her head. Suddenly something fluttered in between her hand and Caine's. She gasped and pulled away from him. A black light green and blue moth flew free, coming to rest on the trunk of the mushroom tree. She looked at her hand. "Oh my god..."

"Neat, right? Now, imagine... having that power with absolutely everything! The world is yours to command at a single snap." Caine snapped his fingers and every asset they worked on that day levitated for a second before going back down. "Go on, give it a try."

Pomni looked for the smallest asset. A pebble. She thought to herself: jump! She snapped. The pebble jumped several inches off the ground. "WOAH!"

"You learn quickly." Caine beamed. "This access will allow you to help me more in the future. However, it will only work out of bounds. Can't have you snapping things around active tracks all willy-nilly."

"Aw, and here I wanted to snap Jax into the nearest dumpster."

Caine chuckled. "As tempting as that is some days, it's important to show restraint. Yet another lesson I've learned the hard way." His eyes became distant for a moment, then he cleared his voice. "Anyway, would you like to keep making more?"

"I would." She held out her hand to him.

Caine gladly accepted it. "My power is yours. Show me what that beautiful mind can create."

Pomni could not get used to Caine complimenting her, as nice as it felt, the fluster made it hard to focus. All she could think of were "colorful night bugs". She snapped. A flurry of multicolor moths and fireflies and beetles flew from her hand out on to the new track.

Caine watched her with soft eyes. The way she looked in the colorful low light was truly something to behold. He ran his thumb subtly over her knuckles, wanting nothing more than to pull her in and kiss her breathless. For now, at least, she seemed very happy with her gift. There was real joy in her smile. That was enough for him.

~

It was late before Pomni and Caine popped back into the garage, right outside her room door. All was quiet, the other racers already settled in their rooms for the night. Pomni had her hat tucked under an arm, still wanting to enjoy her head's new found freedom. "Thanks for spending time with me, today. I had fun." She gave him a genuine smile.

Caine's code skipped a beat. He placed a light kiss to the top of her hand. "Trust me when I say, it's been my absolute pleasure. I should have you around out of bounds more often. Who knows what kind of trouble we could get into." He winks.

Pomni internally screams from romantic panic. Her face felt as hot as the sun. "That- that- would be nice! We could make a date of it! ...again." This time, nothing felt like just a nice gesture. This time, it felt meaningful. That maybe pursuing a romantic relationship with a gaming AI wasn't that crazy after all.

Caine could explode into butterflies and confetti. She wanted to make it another date! "Just let me know when. Give your fingers a snap, and I'll be right there." He held both her hands in his. "I'm so happy, Pomni. I'm so very happy to have you around. You're not just another racer, you're special to me."

Pomni didn't know what to say. She was happy too, but at the same time, this was still a crazy situation to find herself in. Part of her wanted to launch herself into Caine's embrace and never let go, the other wanted to run. She awkwardly swung her arms with his. "I... you're becoming something special to me too. I still have... reservations. I'm sorry if that wasn't what you wanted to hear, I just...need to go slow." She looked down and away.

Caine gently squeezes her hands. "My dear, we can take this as slow as we need to. We can save the high speed pursuits for the track. Rest well, I look forward to tomorrow."

"Me too." Pomni gave him one last smile as she shut her room door.

Caine hovered near the ceiling, looking down at the travesty that was the garage. "Racers." He chuckles and snaps. The place instantly became spotless and tidy. He teleported away.

~

Pomni immediately checked her room for Abel. Relieved to find herself alone, she flopped on her bed and screamed confused emotions into her pillow. "What am I doing!? I can't actually be falling for him?? I want to leave but he's so- so- AAAAH!! Is he really interested or is it an act?? Abel said-... And why ME of all people!? I'm not- HE- uuuuuuuuugh..." She relaxed face down on the bed, eventually drifting off to sleep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

A blue digital countdown flashed before Pomni's eyes. It scared her. She tried to run from it. The numbers got bigger, the blue glow getting brighter behind her. More lights ahead. Two high beam gold headlights. The roar of an engine. Tires screeching. She tries to run to the side, but feels sluggish, her running stride slowing no matter how fast she tries to go.

Both sets of lights get closer to her. A panicked heart beat booms in her ear. The red door with the C&A logo appears between the lights. She throws herself through it as the lights collide.

Beyond the door was an office, but not the same as she's seen before. It looked like a home office. More modern. Papers and files stacked everywhere. Photos of faceless people pinned to a corkboard. Red string connected them. The C&A logo centered on the board with multiple red circles drawn over it.

The flat screen monitors came to life with red letters. P W P I. Again and again. "Pomni..." A feminine disembodied voice called out. "Pomni..." It came from a wall that was entirely made of mirror.

Pomni stared into it, not seeing herself, but the woman in the brown jacket. The strange woman put her hand against the mirror. Pomni felt inclined to do the same. When their hands touched, the mirror cracked violently. The reflection became fragments of visions that meant nothing to Pomni.

The mirror wall fell apart, revealing a black abyss beyond. One large green and orange eye opens, staring directly at Pomni. She couldn't move. Her body defied any instinct to run. The eye rushes her.

Pomni jolts awake with a shout, falling off her bed. "Ow..." She holds her aching head. She didn't feel like going back to bed. None of her dreams have made it worth it. She opened her door to find sunlight peeking in through the blinds on the main floor. It was morning already.

Pomni tiredly requested coffee from the bubble chef. She was the first up, having the lounge to herself. It was the first bit of peace and quiet she actually had in a while. Her mind was exhausted. Swinging wildly from one emotion to another, and dreaming about...whatever the heck all that was, had her drained. Her peace was broken by Zooble and Gangle being the next ones down.

"Good morning!" Gangle cheerfully greeted as she sat next to Pomni. Zooble sat next to Gangle with an arm over the back of the couch.

Pomni internally cringed at Gangle's tone this early in the morning, but kept a neutral face. "Morning..." She sipped her coffee.

"Are you feeling better after spending time with Caine? You were a bit out of sorts yesterday."

Pomni slowly blinked, trying to remember what Gangle was referring to. "Oh...yeah, I am. We had fun."

"That's great! Because Gummigoo seemed pretty upset that you wouldn't talk to him."

"I didn't want to talk to anyone." Pomni said defensively.

"I know, but he was REALLY worried that he had done something wrong."

Pomni focused on her coffee. "He didn't. Just...wrong place, wrong time."

Gangle looked to Zooble in a silent plea. Zooble shrugged. Gangle nervously tapped her ribbon hands together. "Maybe you should talk to him? Tell him things are okay? He cares about how you feel about him."

Pomni stared at her reflection in the black bean water. "I'll talk to him." She'd have to at some point. Abel would be back any time.

~

Pomni caught Gummigoo the moment he left his room. "Hey, can we talk?"

"Sure thing." Gummigoo felt an icepick of fear in his code but went with her anyway. He needed to know what he'd done.

They sat together in the stands, away from prying ears in the garage. Another perfect digital day made the quiet environment easy to enjoy. Gummigoo nervously held his hands together, leaning forward to brace his elbows on his knees to keep them from shaking.

Pomni sat back with her arms crossed. "Nothing happened the other night. You walked in. We talked a bit. You came around. I helped you find your way out. That was it."

"...that doesn't explain how scared you looked. You acted like I was about to literally bite your head off. Then you wouldn't even look at me the next day. I'm sorry, but I don't believe you." Gummigoo said quietly but firmly.

Pomni took a moment to answer. "The conversation got heated. You're kind of scary when you're angry. I'm glad you came to when you did." The memory of Abel's cold fury directed to Caine made her head hurt.

"What did I say? I really don't remember...I'm sorry." Gummigoo sulked.

"Don't worry about it. People do weird things under the influence. I still consider you a friend."

"Really?"

"Mmhm."

Gummigoo sat up straight. "That's a relief. I would've been devo if I couldn't muck about on the track with you anymore." He smirked.

Pomni smiled back. "Things would've gotten boring so fast."

~

Caine appeared right on time in full race host uniform. Fairy lights sparkle, falling around him. "Hello, my fabulous fantastical friends! I have a very special treat for you all today! A brand new track designed from the very mind of our own Pomni!"

"Oh, this oughta be good." Jax huffed.

"It's more than that! It's excellent!" Caine excitedly flew over to Pomni and held out his cane to her.

She looked at it with confusion. "Uh...what-"

"This is your track, Pomni. You should be the one to introduce it to the other racers." Caine motioned for her to take his cane.

"Ooo! How exciting!" Ragatha clapped. "Go on, Pomni. You can tell us about what you made."

Pomni slowly took the cane, trying not to look at all the eyes on her. "Uh..." Microphone feedback from the cane's topper made an ear splitting ring echo through the garage. She held the cane out at arms length. "Sorry."

"Already off to a great start." Jax muttered sarcastically.

"Um, the track today is..." She just realized they never agreed on a name. She had to come up with one on the spot. She spied the sparkling lights Caine had made part of his entrance and rolled with it. "Uh...the Fairylight Forrest."

As if on cue, Caine snapped and the race track title appeared in shiny, colorful letters overhead. They had way too much pizzazz for Pomni's lackluster announcement.

Everyone but Jax politely clapped. Pomni wanted to fall through the floor. She tried giving Caine his cane back.

"Not yet! They need to see it! Come on everyone! Lead the way, Pomni!"

The embarrassment was going to kill her.

Caine opened the door for her and the racers. The outside was gorgeous. A dark Forrest bathed in pale moonlight surrounded the startling line. The track disappeared into the iridescent woodland, small lights lining the sides. Bioluminescent mushrooms as tall as the trees gave off blacklight glow. Moths and fireflies flitted about.

The racers all gave whispered gasps and comments of astonishment. This was one of the most serene tracks any of them had even seen. Ragatha nudged Pomni with her elbow. "Good job, this is way more mellow than anything Caine's every made."

Pomni smirked mischievously. "You haven't seen the track yet." She raised her voice confidently, seeing how genuinely impressed everyone was. "Welcome to the Fairlyight Forest! Don't be fooled by it's appearance! It's as dangerous as it is beautiful!"

Caine lounged back in the air with his arms crossed, a proud smile on his face.

Pomni raised the cane to her lips. "This track is packed with harrowing hairpin turns, sickening spirals and mind-blowing multi-tiered jumps!"

Caine was falling in love all over again.

"Be amazed! Be astounded! But don't be caught unaware! For a great beast roams these woods, and it's hunger for racers is never saited! Can you make it to the final lap in one piece? Let's find out. Racers! To your karts!" A roaring applause came from the themed stands behind her. She jerked her head around to the crowd, like she had forgotten it existed. NPCs where on their feet, going wild for the announcement. The others excitedly ran to their karts as Pomni held the cane close to her chest. She was rather surprised with herself.

"You're amazing." Caine said from behind her.

Pomni smiled bashfully and held out the cane to him. "I learn from the best."

He took it, going out of his way to make sure his fingers brush hers. "Have fun out there, my fairy queen."

"Always." Pomni smiled all the way out to her kart, jumping in.

Caine twirled his cane. "Racers! Start! Your! Engines!!"

Bubble appeared with translucent fairy wings on their back and stuck out their tongue to start the countdown.

First light...

Pomni couldn't take her eye off Caine. He was looking at her so longingly that her heart skipped a beat.

Second light...

She winked at him, reving her engine.

Third light...

She could swear Caine fainted.

GREEN!!

She takes off with the group into the forest.

~

Blue static crackled along the bounds of the game, moving with purpose. Every asset touched by it blinked and glitched subtly. The static came to the portion of the forest where the antagonistic beast lied dormant, awaiting the racers to trigger it's pursuit. The static leapt into the eyes of the beast. It's cold silver eyes turned bright blue.

~~~

CH 1 PREV NEXT

[asvtrials]

Hate that I want you, part ii

hate that I want you      masterlist

previous part      next part initial idea (part one): @floydsfae Tags: @ilovejeansosomuch @spikedfearn @soberbabes @victorysony @ellie1725 @lucycarlisleswife (I couldn't tag some of you sorry pookies) summary: Parting ways with a friend group was always hard, somehow trying to rejoin that group was even harder. Especially when a particular quick-tempered someone is rather bitter about your choices. warnings/tags: lots of swearing. friends to enemies to lovers. Bjorn is a bitter and jealous shit. angst a/n: I'm not very familiar with the Alien franchise so forgive me if there are any inaccuracies. English is not my first language so please be nice. Thank you for the wait, my internship just started so I didn't have much time. I tried to include Bjorn's accent a bit more. word count: 2415

You could've just gone home and drowned in your bed but instead, you let Tyler and Kay convince you to join them for drinks. Bjorn’s snarky comment was still replaying in your mind when you took a frozen beer bootle “Eh, yeh sure. Thanks, Tyler How coulda forget?” 

The metal steps were cold against your thighs, but you didn't feel like moving. You took a sip from your beer bottle—the bitter liquid burning your throat a bit—while you listened to the rest of the crew joke around.

You had to admit you missed this. Apart from Bjorn's occasional sharp looks everything brought you sweet memories from the countless times you stayed up till late to drink and chat.

You expected it to be uncomfortable, especially with Navarro, since she wasn't the most forgiving person. But it seems like your years of friendship did soften her.

She arrived after you, so you thought she'd ignore you completely and just move on with her night but she was quick to approach you with a smirk, giving you a light jab to the shoulder as she sat next to you.

"The fuck are you doing here?" Her voice held a playful tone.

You snorted. "Careful, you sound almost happy to see me."

Navarro tilted her head and raised a brow before uttering "Don't get your hopes up." with a laugh causing you to do the same. "So to who died and made you come here?" She asked before taking a sip of her beer.

You stalled by taking a sip of your own beer again. You didn't want to make things awkward by making the conversation so serious so fast, especially with Navarro who really disliked all that sappy shit.

"I get you." She said with a shrug before you could come up with a response.

You blinked. "What?"

"I get it. If I bagged anyone who had such a ‘promising’ future…” She dragged the word 'promising', copying the way you used to say it when you talked about him. “let's just say you wouldn’t be seeing me for a while" She joked but her words stung a bit.

"It's not like that..." You disagreed and the girl raised an unconvinced brow. "Really it's not. It's just—I tried to get that transfer to the kitchens, to get out of the mines, and all the time I had left I spent with Noa." You explained as you watched your friend take another sip from her beer nonchalantly. "I did miss you guys, really. Ask Kay, I always asked abo—"

"Jeez dude chill, I get it.” She cut you off, moving her eyes from her bottle to you, a small yet genuine smile flickered across her face “I'm glad you're back."

You stared at her, a wrinkle forming between your brows as you frowned, completely dumbfounded by her lack of care.

"Thanks..." You wanted to leave it at that but you knew Navarro, and this wasn't her. The Navarro you knew would give you the cold shoulder for weeks, you were so sure because you would've done the same. So you couldn't help but ask "Why aren't you like, you know, pissed at me?"

"Do you want me to be?" She asked while taking a cigarette she rolled earlier out of her pocket.

" 'Course not, I just expected you to be a little less...chill?" You ended up saying. Suddenly you turned to the girl with wide eyes. "Are you high? "

Navarro couldn't contain her laughter, some smoke puffing out if her nose.

"I'm not high, you moron. Just shit happened, you know. That kind of changed how I view things or whatever. You didn't abandon me and Bjorn when we needed you the most...I didn't forget that." She explained, taking another puff from her cigarette.

You knew what she meant. It wasn't that long ago since Bjorn's mother passed but you still remember hearing about it as if it happened yesterday.

You were finally at the checkout station, waiting for your turn when your eyes caught the small, old television in the corner of the wall. Tears welled up in your eyes as you watched the screen in the spacious checkout room show the face of the woman alongside the other two victims.

You found yourself at the doorstep of their trailer. Navarro's state was enough to destroy you. You were not used to seeing such a pained expression decorating the face of your usually laidback friend.

The younger girl was the only one you saw that day. Bjorn was nowhere to be found.

That was one of the few times you saw her in the past months and you really wished it didn’t need to go this far for you to drop everything and visit.

"Is Bjorn doing okay?" You asked her, not sure what you were expecting to hear.

The boy was awfully close with his mother. It was natural, she was the only parent he had. His dad was a deadbeat, abandoning them as soon as he found out he was going to be a father.

"He's better." Navarro confirmed.

"What happened was so fucked..." You comment, shaking your head in frustration.

"Yeah...i still don't know where was he that day" She confessed.

"You don't?"

"Nah, he wouldn't answer anyways."

Yeah, You could already see Bjorn dodging the question. You could also imagine him getting plastered at whatever bar he found.

Your eyes fell on the boy. He was laughing about something Tyler said until he met your eyes. His wide smile slowly turned into a small smirk, holding your gaze a bit longer before turning back to his cousin.

You chose to ignore the irritation that followed after he tore his gaze from you and focused on Navarro. You continued talking, about her life, about your life, then you moved on to stupid shit until it the usually shady sky was especially dark.

"Fuck it's gotten late." You mumbled, the beer bottles you chuged weren’t doing much to help you focus.

"Oh shit, yeah." Tyler cursed under his breath after checking his wrist watch.

Kay and Tyler didn't live too far from their cousin so they didn't really care. You on the other hand needed at least ten minutes to get to your apartment.

You stood up with a sigh and grabbed your jacket. "This was fun but I have an early shift tomorrow." You announced.

"You're gonna walk alone?" Kay asked concerned.

"You can crash at our place" Navarro offered.

"Yeah, you can." Bjorn spoke to you for the first time since you arrived here. You didn't need to hear his next words to know that he was going to say something stupid, his smug expression a clear sign. "We can share the couch, get all cuddly and stuff." He suggested, sending you an innocent look. 

You grimaced in disgust and wordlessly turned to leave, yet you could feel the blood rising to your cheeks. For a moment you thought he’d add a stupid ‘Like the good old times' or something.

"We can take you home." Tyler offered, standing up from his seat and Kay quickly followed.

"Yeah, it will be good to walk a bit." She assured with a warm smile, although her excuse was laughable. You bet both she and Tyler got enough exercise in the mines, and to your disappointment, the kitchen was no better.

Then the person you least expected to speak up silenced all of you. "Nah, I'll take 'er."

Everyone eyed the boy in either confusion or annoyance.

"No" Kay let out a breathy laugh, as if the boy's words were merely a joke. "We'll take her home."

Bjorn threw his hands with a huff and slumped in his chair. "Yall call me a wanker all the fuckin' time yet don't want me to be nice? Maybe I just wanna mend things between us, don’tya agree Y/n?"

"Oh spare me." You scoffed, sending him a disbelieving look. "You just wanna talk more shit about me and Noa and everything I did wrong. You just don’t want Tyler or Navarro to shut you up."

"Yeh, Like you'd hate that, darlin’. So quick to bite back." He said, a hint of a smile making an appearance. “Yer a bit of a shit talker yourself, don't ya think?”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the way the corner of you mouth twitched upwards at the mention of the familiar nickname.

“Gosh, you're so annoying.” You grumbled but you had to admit it was nice talking to him normally again—or at least the idea of normal you and Bjorn adopted. You were sure this truce would be short-lived.

The boy ignored you and pushed himself up from the chair, capturing the blunt he was rolling between his lips.

“Let's get goin’, wouldn't want ya to miss your beauty sleep,” He mumbled with the cigarette in his mouth as he walked past you earning a glare from you.

He continued walking as if he wasn't even considering that you might not follow, knowing you too well. God, he was annoying.

“You kinda deserve this for dumping us” Navarro joked. You flipped her off but laughed a bit.

You followed him with a sigh, waving goodbye to your friends in the process.

“Please don’t kill each other.” Kay laughed, returning the wave.

Your walk was quiet, the only sounds accompanying the two of you were the crickets in the distance and the occasional puffs that Bjorn let out, the smoke enveloping the both of you. Sometimes you would hear the loud music and inaudible talking at a nearby bar but that was it.

It was frustrating. He was the one that insisted on taking you home and now he was the one refusing to speak. Bjorn was always hard to understand but he was especially hard since you came back.

You understood it was because he was angry that you left, abandoned them, abandoned him but then why demand on being around you so much?

But still his words from before—they made you think that there was something more than anger behind his behavior. The memory of the unexpected tenderness in his voice engraved in your mind.

Even if it wasn’t for the all years you knew him, that one moment would’ve been enough to want you to actually mend things between the two of you, even if Bjorn ridiculed the idea before.

“Thanks for doing this.” You attempted to sound as normal as you could.

“Sure.” He replied, not bothering to look at you.

You sighed trying to ignore the uncomfortable silence that clutched at the two of you like a veil.

“What?” The boy asked irritated.

“Nothing. It’s just weird, I guess.” You replied truthfully, too tired of playing all those mind games.

“Very observant, aren’t you darlin’” He chuckled and tossed the finished cigarette on the pavement.

“See, that’s weird.” You gestured toward him with a scoff. “You keep acting like an asshole, then call me darling and insist on taking me home.”

Bjorn ignored your words and just continued to walk to your house, his hand raising to rub the nape of his neck was the only indication of his own discomfort. 

You could already see your house from here but you weren’t done. You halted your movements in frustration, sending him an aggravated look. “Why are you acting like a little bitch?” You winced at your words as soon as they left your lips, you wished you had picked something more tactful to say.

Bjorn turned to face you, eyebrow raised and a sarcastic smile spreading on his lips. “Callin’ me a little bitch? Really? If anything I’m the only one that’s not actin’ like a little bitch.” The boy spat back, approaching you. “You left, for bloody two months, and expect everyone to run around and kiss your feet for blessing us with your presence?” He spoke, his words lacking the gentleness from the last time you had this conversation.

“What, is little Y/n sad that I’m angry at her?” You had to lift your head to hold his mocking gaze the closer he got to you. You swallowed thickly when he crouched a bit to get closer to your face. You should’ve felt uncomfortable, scared even but the way your stomach flipped was anything but uncomfortable.

“That’s not what I said.” You were disappointed at how weak your voice sounded and you weren’t sure if your narrowed eyes gave the harsh effect you wished for.

“Mhm? Go on then.” 

“If you’re so angry why are you taking me home, huh? I thought you wanted to talk shit but you were quiet the entire walk. What is it, just want to be blessed by my presence a bit longer?”  You asked and it was your turn to watch his jaw tense. 

Bjorn held your gaze for a long moment before ripping his icy eyes away from yours for a split moment, to regain his composure. However, it seems to be fruitless because when he turned back to you, his eyes held the same dark look to them. He took a step closer, his eyes never leaving yours. Your brows furrow at his movements yet your body refuses to move an inch.

Without a word, he leaned closer and you swore you saw a quiet plea in his eyes. To be okay with this—No. To want this as much as he does.

Embarrassment is long forgotten when you open your lips ever so slightly, running your tongue over your bottom lip in anticipation as his hand slowly reached your flushed cheek, his fingers grazing the warm flesh.

“Jus’ wanted to show ya—” His hoarse voice ripped the silence “That I can make you feel like that, just by looking at you…” He whispered making you shudder. “I bet you haven't felt like this in a long time, eh?”

Dammit…You shouldn't feel like this. It was Bjorn for fucks sake. Stupid, loud, annoying Bjorn. Why was he making you feel like this? He never did before. 

Teasing, joking around, that was good, it was safe. You never wanted more. But now you felt like your body was about to burst into flames.

You only managed to say a quiet “You're a fucking dick…” 

A small smirk spread across Bjorn's face when he saw the tension in your eyes, matching his own yearning. He hoovered over you, lips barely touching when you heard an aggravating noise.

(i love reading your comments babes don't be shy)

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

Chapter 26: I Hate You, I Love You

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV, Soldier Boy POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy.  This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter twenty-six of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 8.3K

Warnings:  I'm gonna label this one 18+ because it's Soldier Boy. , Angst, Cursing, Sexual References, Family Problems- A LOT of family problems, Past Trauma, Death Mentioned, Self Deprecating Thoughts, Blood mentioned. Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, completely a little OOC. Soldier Boy is really all you need as a warning.

Note: This is told from the Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

A/n: I know that this isn't the final battle, but I wrote most of the battle and the chapter was so long (it was over 13K and I wasn't close to ready) that I needed to break it up. So now this is just a wonderful helping of angst in which the reader and Ben do the thing that they do best… fight with each other and then make up.

READER POV

The silence that follows Homelander's disappearance with Lou and Rosemary's pursuit after him is deafening. It feels like hours have passed, but it's only been seconds. You feel cold and hot, nothing and everything. Fear, anger, anxiety, and terror all congeal into an ice cold ball in the pit of your stomach. Rubble is covering the thick shag carpet on the bedroom floor, the air filled with flecks of dust and drywall from Homelander's departure. You weren't thinking about how Legend would react though, couldn't think of anything else except the fearful look on Lou's face when Homelander grabbed her and refused to release her.

The thought that Lou was trapped with someone like him broke you. The fear that came with the thought was almost mind-numbing, because Homelander was dangerous and now that Ben and you had told him that you didn't want anything to do with him, there were no other bargaining chips. Homelander couldn't be placated because you had crushed the glimmer of hope in his eyes by telling him that he wasn't your son and that he was monster. You knew that Homelander was smart enough that he wouldn't believe you now if you promised him family, not when he had Lou and probably had Rosemary.

Rosemary had minimal training when it came to fighting, yes you'd made sure that she knew the basics of self-defense, but she'd never fought another supe before. She was never interested in that sort of thing. And it wasn't always about using your powers when it came to fighting another supe, it was about tactics and knowing the weaknesses of your opponent. In a fight with someone like Homelander, you couldn't just rely on your abilities, you had to understand what you were up against and see the little ticks that he tried to hide. You'd watched stronger supes fall because they relied too heavily on their abilities, and you worried that Rosemary would be the same way. That she would be filled with a blind rage because Homelander had Lou and that he would use her anger and frustration to his advantage.

Tears were streaming down your face and you were still struggling in Ben's grip, where his arms were wrapped around you, holding you back from chasing after them. And the longer he holds you, as more seconds tick by, everything else goes and you're left with something else.

To say that you were angry was an understatement, you were livid. You hated that Ben had done this to you again. That once again Ben was acting like you weren't a supe, like you weren't powerful, and like you needed to be locked away from the world in a glass cabinet. You were sick of it.

Because you understood that Ben loved you, that he wished to protect you and that he feared losing you, but you refused to allow him to walk on eggshells around you and put you in a glass bubble because of his insecurities.

Yes Ben had told you that he saw your strength in the past, that he saw how powerful you were, and only wished for you to need him, but you were done with this. He didn't have any right to do it. And yes, he was the man you loved, but he was not your master. Perhaps that's what made all this worse for you, that Ben said how much he loved you and that he saw your power, but every time things went South he did shit like this.

"Ben, let me go." You growl, turning your head to look over your shoulder.

"No. Not until you promise not to go after them." Ben's eyes are narrowed. He knew that if you promised him, you wouldn't do it, that you cared too much about what a promise represented to break one.

It was true, which was why you weren't going to promise him shit.

"I won't promise that."

"Then I guess I'm not letting you go." He says it casually, but the look in his eyes is meant to convey that he is just as upset with this turn of events as you are.

"Oh I think you fucking will." Your teeth clench together and as you say it, you turn your palms face down in front of you and break his hold. Having Homelander's strength made it easier to face Ben. In the past the two of you had sparred together in training. Back then you didn't think too much about it, but now you understood that he did it to make sure you knew how to protect yourself when he wasn't there, that he worried about you more than he wanted to say and that was the only way he could prepare you without telling you how much you meant to him.

Ben stumbles back a step, his eyes flashing with anger and you’re sure that he can see the same emotions written on your face.

“What the fuck is your problem?” You snarl at him.

“My problem?” Ben sputters.

“Yes!”

“What the fuck are you talking about? If anything it’s you that’s having a problem-“

“Oh I’m sorry Benjamin. Am I being difficult?" You press a hand to your chest feigning remorse. "Forgive me for having a fucking problem when our granddaughter has just been KIDNAPPED by a psychopath. And our daughter is going to face him alone!"

"She's not alone-"

"Wrong. She is alone, because you wouldn't let me help her."

"I told you that I didn't want you to fight him alone. I told you that we would do this together-"

"I wouldn't have been alone if you'd stop being so damn overprotective!" You snap, stomping over to the chest of drawers, searching through them angrily for something to wear. It was difficult not to rip the handle off the front in your anger. You were still wearing your sweatpants and an oversized paint splattered t-shirt, and the last thing you wanted was to face Homelander looking like that.

Why can't he just understand that I am powerful too? Why can’t he let me go for once? Why does he keep doing this?

You hated that he was acting like you couldn't handle yourself, especially after he had seen you destroy Legend's backyard single handedly the other day with your mind. You were so sick of being underestimated. First Vought, then Stan, and now Ben, and you didn't want to be seen that way anymore. You were powerful and damnit you weren't going to "sit" and "stay" because some man ordered you to.

"I am not being overprotective!" Ben's voice is a low growl. "The other day I told you that I didn't want you to do this by yourself, that I didn't want you to do any of this alone. That I'm here-"

"Well congratulations Ben! Our daughter is doing exactly that right now, facing fucking Homelander alone, because you couldn't just let me go." You grab the end of your shirt and take it off, shucking it to the floor before you begin to put on the tight long sleeved black t-shirt. "You always do this."

"Do what?"

"Underestimate me!" You take off the sweatpants and quickly step into the dark jeans. By now your eyes were flashing bright purple and you could feel the thrum of your abilities under your skin, begging to be released. The energy was growing with each passing second, the lights in the room flickered and you could feel an unnatural breeze rustling the curtains that were hanging from the windows, coming from you.

"I do not fucking underestimate you. I know how powerful you are-"

"Well you have a funny way of showing it." You spit turning around to face him again.

Ben is also getting dressed. His sweatpants have been replaced with the bottom portion of his supe suit, his knife, pistol, and top half of his suit is laying on the unmade bed. "We have already talked about why I have a problem with you doing shit like that alone." His words are almost a growl, but you can hear an emotion on the edge of them that isn't anger. It was worry.

You knew what he was referring to, when he told you that he hated watching you die because it made him feel like he'd failed to protect you, that every time you were hurt, Ben struggled with that.

You knew how he felt.

The other day at Herogasm when Homelander had him by the throat all you saw was red. You didn't want to witness Ben's last moments just as he had witnessed yours multiple times. But it didn’t mean that you held Ben back from doing what he needed to do. You saw his strength and supported him. All you wanted was for him to support you.

A part of you deep down registered that he acted like this to protect you, that he didn't want to lose you as much as you didn't want to lose him. And as happy as you were that Ben was finally getting comfortable showing and talking about his emotions in front of you, you still wished that he would let you be strong for yourself. You had to be strong without him for forty years, protecting Rosemary and Lou.

Does he really think that Stan and Countess are the only people who I've killed in the past forty years? That there haven't been other people and supes that figured it out? Did Homelander really think that Stormfront's death was a suicide? 

"You let me face the twins!" You shout.

"Those incestuous fucks couldn't handle you when they were full powered, let alone when they were dried out." Ben states pulling his shirt over his head.

"I don't understand why Homelander is any different." You cross the room to grab the long dark green leaver overcoat, the same one that Ben had scraped the blood and bits of flesh off when you returned to Legend's after you killed Stan. "You saw me handle him the other day-"

"Because he is different!" Ben practically stabs his knife down into it's holster on his belt.

"Oh really?" You tap your lip as if deep in thought. "Huh. Because I remember you calling him a pussy when you were thinking about killing him. When you told me that Butcher asked you to."

"He is." Ben's eyes are blazing now.

Your sarcasm always did that to him, and it did tend to rear it's ugly head in the most inopportune moments. In all the years you'd known him, Ben never really did like it when you got like that.

The room was quickly heating with the force of Ben’s anger, a slight glow radiating out from his chest, but Ben was keeping it under control. At least for now.

"Oh, so he is a pussy, but not when I have to fight him?"

"Yes." He seethes through clenched teeth.

"I hate to break this to you Benjamin, but of the two of us, I'm the one who has fought him and kicked his fucking ass." You spit back at him, sick of his attitude.

Ben crosses the room in two heavy strides so that he's standing over you, his hands on his hips. "The only reason why you fucking fought him, was because you felt the need to step in when I had him handled."

"Did you have him handled? Could have fooled me. When someone has you by the throat I find it hard to say that you have a handle on the situation!" You mirror his stance, refusing to back down.

"Don't fucking do that."

"Do what?"

"Be sarcastic! You know that I hate it."

"That's just too damn bad!" You snap. "I'm not your dog Benjamin  you cannot tell me what to do."

"I do not treat you like a damn dog. I will say that you're being bitchy." His teeth are grinding together, so hard that you can audibly hear it.

"Well excuse the fuck out of me! I think I'm allowed to be bitchy," You seethe the word. "Because you're acting like a sexist dick!"

"I am not-"

"Yes you are." You poke your finger into his chest. "And I don’t want you to come with me."

"Like fucking hell I'm going to sit here and wait around for you to come back."

"I don't want you to come with me because I don't want to spend the whole fucking time worried that you're going to get in my fucking way and prevent me from doing what I have to do."

"I do not get in your way." Ben roars.

"Yes you do." Your eyes narrow. "And I don't need some "big strong man" to do things for me!" You make air quotes around 'big strong man' to emphasize the point, but Ben was not getting it.

This was one of the worst fights you'd ever had with him, you knew that. The two of you had many over the years, Legend was not lying when he told Butcher that, but this one was quickly nearing the same magnitude as the fight the two of you had the night of the premiere. This was more than just the two of you going through the motions of being frustrated with one another and more than the two of you shouting over a little problem, this was about Ben's continuous need to hold you back and keep you out of harms way like you weren't a supe and perfectly capable of doing thing by yourself.

"All I do is try to protect you." His eyes are dark now, not a trace of green in them, looking more like darkened pits. When Ben was really angry you'd seen them go that dark before, only the night of the premiere had you seen them like that when he looked at you, all the other times you'd seen that look when he felt the need to put someone in their place, to beat them into submission.

"I don't need you to protect me!" It comes out in one breath, uttered in an exasperated tone, because again Ben just didn't understand.

Ben stops. "You don't need me?" The words aren't in the same harsh tone that he used before, it's softer, and the anger in his eyes shifts to something else for just a moment.

You could feel regret swirling in your chest, because you did need Ben. You needed him more than life itself, didn't want to spend a moment away from him. You hadn't meant to say it like that. And you know that it was something Ben struggled with, the idea that you didn't need him anymore or never did need him.

"No. Ben, I do fucking need you, but I don't need you to protect me all the time." You emphasize with a sigh. "I've changed. I'm not the same person I was in Philadelphia. I'm not the same little girl. I've been taking care of myself and Rosemary and Lou for years. I needed to change and so I did."

Ben still looks like he can't fully understand what you're trying to say.

"Ben do you really think that Stan is the only person that I've killed in the past forty years?"

Ben blinks surprised.

"There have been others. People who asked too many questions. Supes that just didn't believe the lie that Stan and I made up." You sigh. You weren't ashamed of that, weren't ashamed of the things you had to do to keep your daughter and your granddaughter safe. "You think that every death leaves a scar, but not always." You murmur remembering the fight with Stormfront, the one you never talked about. When she showed up on your doorstep and threatened you and Rosemary. And the others who threatened you, tried to blackmail you because they didn't fear you the way they should have. Stormfront had expected the same woman she knew from the past, but you weren't her anymore.

"What do you mean there have been others?" Ben's expression hardens, malice swimming in his eyes when he realizes that other people have hurt you.

Flashes of the past come creeping up, years you spent with Ben and the cold ones that you'd spent without him stumbling around like someone trying to find light when they were buried underground. And you did love him, but you hated that he did this, because every time he did it made you feel small, it made you feel again like he didn't see you or comprehend who you were.

"They don't matter now." You sigh. "But I am not something to be possessed. I am not someone who’s going to hang on your arm make you look good and laugh at all your jokes. I am not something to be controlled or shielded from the world. If I wanted to just be a trophy or a doll for someone to use any way they wished I would have stayed and married Howard. But I didn’t. I came with you, but I never imagined that you would treat me that way. I never imagined that you would treat me like he did.”

Ben looks stunned. He should. In all the years you’d known him you’d never compared him to Howard like that. It was a low blow and you knew it, but you were pissed. It hurt you to say the words, hurt you to open up that wound all over again, but it was the truth. You didn't lie to Ben and you weren't going to start now.

The words ring through the air between the two of you, the space between your bodies suddenly miles apart even though you were standing in the same room. It was the first time you'd ever felt that distance with him, not since the night he came to your apartment the night that he almost killed Noir and after the two of you talked you cried in the shower frustrated and angry with yourself because you couldn't tell him how you felt and upset that he didn't love you the way you loved him. And now you were just as frustrated and angry with him.

Ben opens his mouth to answer you, the look in his eyes heartbreaking.

"What the fuck happened in here?" Butcher shouts stumbling down the stairs and into the room. He looks disheveled, like he just rolled out of bed.

"Homelander." Your gaze leaves Ben. "He took Lou, Rosemary went after him."

"He took Lou?" Hughie sputters from behind Butcher, fear flitting through his eyes.

It was the same fear that had begun to trickle back in after the fight you just had, but the things that Ben and you had yelled at one another were still there, soaking through the air like a foul odor and seeping in to your heart. You weren't sure if it meant that you could come back from it or not.

"Yeah." Ben grunts.

"Then lets go get her." Butcher says. "Come on." He gestures with his hand and begins to trek up the stairs with Hughie in tow, leaving Ben and you in the bedroom alone once more.

But this time you can't say anything, can't bring yourself to apologize because you're still so damn mad, and so instead you follow after Butcher, without giving Ben a backwards glance.

SOLDIER BOY POV

The car smoothly followed the long stretch of highway under Butcher’s hand, the trees along the road flashing by in a green blur, but it still didn’t seem like it was going fast enough.

It had taken Butcher and Hughie ten minutes to get ready after they stumbled downstairs to where Ben and you were and now the four of you were on the road and driving to New York. Hughie and Butcher were in the front seat while Ben and you sat in the back, but unlike the other day when you drove to Herogasm together, you were sitting on the other side of the car, arms crossed over your chest staring out the window, and not touching him at all.

Ben's jaw clenched when he remembered the day you drove together to Herogasm, when he held your hand and you leaned into his shoulder, reveling in the fact that you wanted him there with you.

And he wasn't sure that you still did. As much as he hated to admit it, that scared him. He didn't know where he should be if he wasn't with you. Everything else felt wrong. To be without you was like being without the sun, living in the deepest darkest cave and refusing to see the light.

That being said, Ben knew you were pissed, he was too.

Watching Homelander take Lou all but ripped him in half. He hated that the pussy had used a fucking child as a shield and hated that he had gotten away with it. Ben felt his body tense when he remembered the fear in Lou's eyes and a jolt of white hot rage burns through him at the thought that Homelander was hurting her.

Ben cared about Lou as much as he cared about you. She loved him and always made him feel welcome, and even though Rosemary never did, he was worried about her too. Maybe it was because he saw how much it hurt you for them to go, for Homelander to take Lou and for Rosemary to race after him. He knew that was your worst fear, but that didn't stop Ben from holding you back, for refusing to let you go alone to a place that Ben couldn't follow.

He'd never resented his abilities before, but he suddenly wished that he could fly. He would have soared after Homelander, after Rosemary, and after you if you had followed behind them.  That was why he had held you back though, because he couldn’t and he was scared.

The word felt like a curse to think, but it was true. Ben knew that it was fear coursing through his veins in those few moments when he realized that you were going to go after Homelander and he wouldn't be able to follow. He didn’t want you to face him alone, didn’t want to watch you die again.  After all these years, each time you died he feared that it would be the last, he feared that it would be the time it stuck and that he would be left all alone. He didn't want to live in a world without you, he'd done that for forty years and he was done with that.

Ben believed that it was his job to be there for you and after forty years of him being away, he wanted to be there to help you and take care of you. He was ready to make up for the lost time and he had told you how he felt the other day when you destroyed Legend's backyard, that he wanted the two of you to do this together.

That was before today.

Ben's hands are curled into fists on his lap as he forces himself to look out his own side of the car, refusing to look at you. If you could do the silent treatment he could too. Of all the fights the two of you had in the past, Ben knew this one was worse or at least it was as bad as when he fucked up, fucked Countess and then pushed you away when all he wanted was to bring you closer.

Honestly, you'd never compared him to Howard before. Ben could still remember the words you uttered to him the night of your birthday before you allowed him to take you to bed:

"Don't be jealous of Howard. He meant nothing to me. No one means as much to me as you do Ben."

Ben remembered the way you'd smiled up at him when you said it cheeks slightly flushed, lips red from when he kissed you.  He remembered the way he felt like he'd swallowed pure sunshine, because that was what you always did to him. You always made him feel like he was the only person in the world that was allowed to see the real you. He knew that you loved him, knew that he loved you more than life itself, but what you'd yelled him before Butcher came downstairs made him feel like taking a two by four to the chest. It hurt him.

He hated what you said to him, that you compared him to that asshole from back home. Ben wished for nothing more than to wipe the memories of that man from your mind. When you were younger sometimes Ben would see Howard and you sitting in the park or getting lunch. He remembered the way that you never seemed to smile as wide, how small you looked, how Howard liked you better in the gowns that your mother chose for you, how Howard liked you silent, and how Howard preferred your body covered in heavy coats even though it was the middle of summer.

That particular thing always pissed Ben off, because he knew how you struggled with that, struggled with the way you looked and Ben hated that someone else who stated they loved you made you feel small and ugly, when you were the most beautiful woman that Ben had ever seen in his life.

Ben hated Howard with a passion for that exact reason, because Howard did try to control you. He chose what you wore, complained about what you ate, discouraged your art, and did other unspeakable things that you had told Ben over the years. Things that made Ben want to go back to Philadelphia and end Howard’s bloodline.

But sometimes on the nights when Ben was away at boarding school and he couldn't sleep he would think of Howard and you. Ben would never admit this to anyone, but he would compare himself to Howard, try to find the little differences that Ben thought made you like Howard, the differences that Ben thought about doing himself to make you love him the way he loved you. It always made him feel like a fucking pussy though. His father probably would have beat him within an inch of his life if his father knew that Ben was comparing himself to another man. It was something that Ben's father ingrained in him, that Ben's was from a strong, proud, family that never did that. And that a real man knew that he was better than everyone else, and if anyone tried to challenge that then it was best settled in the ring.

Ben sighed. He was trying hard to weed out the toxic things his father told him. You helped immensely with that, by letting Ben know that he didn’t have to be strong all the time and didn’t need to keep everything inside, that he didn't have to hide what he was feeling from you.

He loved that about you, that he felt like he never had to hide who he really was, that you saw all the parts of him he locked away for so long from everyone else and didn't care. And in exchange he got to see all the wonderful things about you and he didn't want to trade that for the world.

Even though he was angry with everything the two of you shouted, he still loved you.

You were just so damn stubborn all the time and never wanted to see things the way I do and-

Ben gritted his teeth together as another wave of annoyance came over him. He really did hate how stubborn you were. Probably because you were just as stubborn as he was and that meant the two of you were often at a stalemate.

Ben glanced over to where you were looking out the window. You were frowning, arms crossed tightly over your chest, leaning back against the cloth seats.

The awkward silence in the car was palpable and Ben knew that Hughie and Butcher were also trying not to notice the tension in the backseat. There was a song playing on the radio that Ben didn't recognize, but Hughie kept bobbing his head along to the music while Butcher's hands tighten on the wheel.

Ben's eyes flick back to where you are staring out the window. He wanted desperately to know what you were thinking. Honestly he'd rather the two of you be yelling at one another than you give him the silent treatment. At least then he had some semblance of what was going on in your head. Ben knew you better than anyone, which meant that he was usually good at reading you, but not now.

Even Ben could admit to himself that you'd changed some, you were a little harder than you had been when he knew you, but it didn't make him love you any less. He had been shocked at your revelation that you'd killed other people. Ben was trying to ignore what you'd said about not all deaths leaving scars.

He'd been present for most of the ones that had happened in the past, but he wondered how many others there had been, and what other powers you had maybe acquired. That  was the thing about you, you weren't one to brag, never seemed to need to use as many powers to take someone down.

Your arms tighten around your body and Ben watches a single tear roll down your cheek.

Fuck. He thinks to himself. He really didn't want to be the reason why you're crying. He had been the main reason for so long and he hated that, he hated making you cry and hated when you cried in general. If you weren't so mad at him he would have unbuckled your seat belt and pulled you over onto his lap so he could hold you close and make you feel better, but he wasn't sure you wanted that, still wanted him.

The thought that you didn't made him feel like he was sinking into the sea, that the sun was slowly being sucked away while he's dragged under into the depths. Ben didn't know who he was without you, didn't know where he would go, and certainly didn't know what his purpose was if he wasn't in your life.

Before he can stop himself he reaches out to touch your arm, but you flinch away from him, still looking out the window and not turning to him.

Ben fights the urge to make you talk to him, and drops his hand back down to his thigh, curling it into a fist again. Ben felt something in his chest that was unfamiliar when you didn't let him touch you. He wasn't sure if it was fear or anger or frustration but it was there, simmering underneath the skin.

It reminded him too much of when he came back you didn't let him touch you, didn't want him anywhere near you. He didn't want to admit how much he relied on that, you touching him, not just sexually. The little touches you gave him on the back of his hand to comfort him when you knew he was anxious, or the brace of your hand against his shoulder or back when he was sitting down to reassure him that you were with him and that you weren't going anywhere or the moments you adjusted his collar when it was facing the wrong way, or smoothed a wrinkle at the front of his shirt or even just running your fingers through his hair the way you knew he liked, Ben lived for them, for all those little moments.

No one else had ever tried to touch him that way before, with comfort and love.

Even when you were children, the hugs you gave him when you saw him made everything else seem colorless in comparison. When he came back to you and you refused to let him touch you he was afraid you never would again and when you began to touch him again he felt like he’d ascended to another plane, but now your refusal for him to touch your elbow or even take your hand worried him.

He did not believe that he could survive without something as simple as that.

But all of that just solidified the one thing that Ben knew deep down, had known since the moment he realized how much you meant to him, that you were his one weakness, his fatal flaw, the one thing in his life that he couldn’t live without. He didn’t want to imagine that world existed because he couldn't survive without you.

That was why he didn't want you to fight Homelander alone. It wasn't because he didn't see how strong you were, it was that he was so afraid that he was going to lose you that he couldn't control himself.

He hated admitting that even to you, but now he knew he had to, because he knew his pride wasn't worth losing you.

READER POV

After the most awkward car ride in history, you were ready to get out and kick some ass. Despite Butcher's accelerated driving it had taken five hours to get back to the city from Legend's due to traffic and the whole time you were especially aware of Ben's presence. His brooding was practically audible from the other side of the car where he sulked and refused to look at you. You figured that just as he did the silent treatment you could too, but it didn't make it any easier.

Frankly nothing made any of this easy.

You were frustrated by this turn of events, that Homelander had done the one thing that you feared more than anything else in the world, the one thing that you had tried to prevent from happening your entire life, but he had.

But as upset as you were and worried about Lou and Rosemary, you were upset with yourself over what you had said to Ben. You hadn't meant to mention Howard, it was a low blow and you knew how much he hated the time you spent with Howard. You knew that Ben struggled with the thought that you possibly loved Howard more than you loved him and the  possibility that you regretted spending your life with Ben rather than him. And you knew that it hurt him as much as the moments you watched him with other women over the years.

You didn't want Howard, never wanted Howard, never felt anything for him, and for Ben you felt everything. Sometimes you were afraid to show Ben just how much you felt for him, feared that it would make him push you away when he realized just how much you needed him. In the forty years you spent away from him you tried to convince yourself that you didn't, but having him back was like everything coming back in color from black and white. But at the same time you were still a little angry, angry with him for holding you back when you knew you could have taken Homelander down yourself.

Because in your heart you knew that was what Howard did to you. Not that he held you back from fighting a psychopathic supe, but that Howard never saw you more as a possession, a jewel in a crown adorned on his lofty head, nothing more than something to parade around Philadelphia. That's why it was so different for you when you were with Ben, because Ben saw you, he never covered you up with heavy cloaks, he never discouraged your love of art, he never bored you or made you feel like your opinion wasn't important. Ben made you feel alive, and Howard? Howard made you feel like the empty husk of what you used to be.

You press your lips together in a tight line as Butcher pulls up the seat so you can get out of the backseat and set foot on solid ground. Hughie had been left behind at a gas station, and yes you hated that Butcher had done that, but at the same time you were relieved. You didn't want him to get hurt. You still believed that Hughie was different than you, not that he was innocent, but he wasn't jaded or hardened the way you had to be to survive.

Your gaze lifts to look up at the towering skyscraper that rises from the earth like a proud oak tree on a hill. Vought tower looks the same way it always has, bold and haughty like the men who founded the company all those years ago. The setting sun glints off the glass windows like the last glimmer of summer, something to be grasped before the cold of winter comes to take it all away.

You'd stood here looking up at the building before, watched the lights turn off and on, watched the people go in and out of the building, and had crossed the threshold a handful of times. The final time was to deliver last rights to your good friend Liberty.

She, like a few others, hadn't believed your story and had shown up to speak with you. But unlike the others, her methods of finding out if you were still you was to try to kill you. She had succeeded and then left stating that she would "be back to catch up." When you'd gone to Vought to find her, you hadn't been expecting her to look the way she did, half burned and laying in a hospital bed. You didn't know why she looked that way. It had been odd to stand there over her, odd to remember the person she used to be, proud and powerful and then look at the broken body that laid there. Her death had been a necessary evil, the only time you ever stepped foot in Vought Tower in the last forty years, but if it was to protect your family it was worth it to you.

Your frown grows the longer you stand there underneath the ominous glow that emanates from inside, anxiety prickling along your skin like the spines of a cactus. You couldn't remember the last time you felt this way, just that you didn't want to feel this way ever again. The building was a symbol of everything you hated, and you vowed deep down to destroy Vought and send it to hell where it belonged and make those who were responsible for Vought's success pay.

You think about the other day in Legend's backyard, when Ben pulled you back from the darkened pit and back into the light, when Ben told you that he didn't want you to do it alone, that he wanted to be there for you, and when he promised you again that he wasn't leaving and that he wanted you to give him all your burdens.

Yes he wants to be there for me, I get it, I GET IT. You sigh in frustration. I understand that he loves me and that he wants to protect me, but I wish he would just-

"Y/n?" Ben says from behind you. His voice is quiet, reserved, but you know that he's probably just as upset as you are.

You turn and glance up at him. Ben hadn't tried to touch you since you shifted away from him in the car. It hurt you to do that to him, to pull away from his touch when all you wanted was for him to comfort you. The night he came back to you, you hadn't lied when you said that he might have been the one who hurt you, but he was the only person you wanted to comfort you. That was the hard thing about loving him and him being your best friend. It was difficult to draw the line in the sand, to separate the two.

The feeling was normal. It was the same one you had when he broke your heart. You had hated him then too, but he was still the only person you had and the longer you stayed in bed running over the years you spent with him, the more you wished that he was with you. The only person that you wanted to comfort you and care for you even after everything that he had done and yelled at you at the premiere, was Ben.

Sometimes it scared you how much you relied on his touch, how much you needed just a comforting hand on your arm, or for him to tuck your hair behind your ear or for him to kiss you or for him to hold you while you slept. You didn't realize how much you needed it, how much you craved it until he came back and you allowed him to touch you again.

In the car you had been trying not to cry, but everything was building, your frustration with Ben over the conversation the two of you had, fear over what would happen to Lou and Rosemary, and red hot anger directed at Homelander. A single tear had slipped and when Ben had tried to comfort you, you pulled away from him.

Fuck.

You hadn't wanted to. You'd wanted to curl up against him and let him make you feel better, but you were still angry with him for holding you back.

The words you yelled at him momentarily ring in your ears. It wasn't just that you compared him to Howard, it was you told him you didn't need him to protect you. But you knew Ben better than anyone and you knew that he was probably circling the drain and thinking that you basically told him that you "didn't need him" when you did.

"Yeah?" You clear your throat. It was difficult to look at him, not when you were so close to just breaking down and telling him that you were sorry. You knew that you needed to be focused on what was about to happen, but you couldn't, not when things were like this between the two of you. You hated fighting with him.

Ben's gaze drifts to where Butcher is staring expectantly at you.

"Give us a minute." Ben says to him.

"Why?"

"Just give us a fucking minute." Ben snaps, obviously annoyed, but you knew that he was probably upset about the fight the two of you had and he was projecting that anger onto Butcher.

"Fine. I’ll clear the lobby. Don’t take too long." Butcher frowns, but turns and stalks up the front steps of the building.

You turn back to look at him, unable to stop the sarcastic comment from building. Because yes, you wanted to forgive him, but at the same time you were still frustrated with him. "What? Are you gonna lock me in the car? Or are you going to tell me again how you don’t want me to fight him?"

"No." Ben growls.

"Then why-"

"Because I don’t want it to be like this." Anger lurks on the edge of his words, but at the same time you can hear something else in his voice, something that sounds a little broken. And it makes your heart clench in you chest.

"You don’t want what to be like this?" You ask confused.

"I don’t want us to go in there angry at each other." He continues.

"Why not?"

"Because I-" Ben stops, his jaw tightening for a moment, before he sighs. "I hate it when you’re mad at me. When you don't let me-" He swallows and you watch his eyes drop to your hand for a moment and you understand what he's saying.

That he hates it when you don't let him touch you. You hated it too.

"You think I like being mad at you?" You whisper, fingers itching to touch his cheek, to push back the dark hair that has fallen forward into his eyes.

"No." He breathes.

You stand there for a moment, letting the silence fill the space between you. The sounds of the city rising around you, the sound of traffic, vendors downtown, and the smell of the pretzel stand around the corner are everywhere. There aren't as many people on the streets now, but you know that it's only a matter of time before someone recognizes Ben in his uniform.

You sigh as you look up at him. Despite the uniform there's a vulnerability in his eyes that you can't shake and you understand how much it must have hurt him too.

“I don’t like it when you’re mad at me either.” You reply.

"I don’t like being mad at you." Ben exhales heavily. "And I don't want it to be like this before we go in. If something happens I-" He stops talking. "I don't want our last conversation to be like that."

"What do you mean you don't want our last conversation to be like that?" This time you can't help, but take his hand and Ben physically relaxes as you do, squeezing your hand back just as tightly.

"If this doesn't work out, if-" His jaw locks and he drops his eyes from yours. "I can't lose you."

"Ben." You whisper and this time you can't help but hug him, pull him close to comfort him. Your arms go up around the back of his neck, burying your face into the hollow of his throat. "You're not going to lose me. Everything is going to be fine." Ben's body immediately curves around you, arms holding you against him so tight it's almost painful, like he thinks you'll never allow him to do this ever again.

"I'm not strong enough for that y/n-" He whispers it so low that you're not sure he meant for you to hear it. "I can't-"

"Shh." You breathe, moving your hands into his hair, smoothing down the unruly strands at the back of his head. "I promise you're not going to lose me." You pull back to look him in the eye. "But I want you to treat me like an equal, like you see my power-“

“I do.”

“No you don’t, because if you did you wouldn’t hold me back all the time.”

“I’m trying not to, but-“ Ben sighs leaning forward into you. “You said it’s your job to take care of me, well it’s my job to protect you.” His expression hardens. “And I failed before.”

“What happened to me was not your fault.”

“I should have been there. I shouldn't have left you for a second-"

“Just like I should have been there in Nicaragua." You whisper back, with a sorrowful sigh. "Just like I should have asked more questions, should have made sure that you were really gone. Then you wouldn’t have had to be in that lab, you wouldn't have been alone-"

“That’s not your fault.” Ben's forehead is against yours now. "Please don't feel bad about that."

“It doesn’t matter if it was my fault or not. I should have been there for you. I will forever feel guilty that I didn’t come for you sooner and that you had to endure that for forty years.” You drop your eyes to his chest.

“Then I’ll forever feel guilty for the way I treated you.” Ben replies.

"I don't want you to." Your gaze rises to his once more, locking with his deep green eyes.

It was true. You could still remember what he said to you, remember what he did, but he was here now and he was doing everything right to make you forget. He was being so different and working so hard to make up for the past that you didn't feel the prick of pain with the memories that you used to.

"And I don't want you to feel guilty about what happened to me." Ben murmurs, raising his hand to cup your cheek. "Those years don't matter to me. The only thing that matters to me is being here with you. And I don't want to miss another second because I did something stupid again."

"And I don't want you to feel guilty about what you did to me anymore. Because you're making me forget, you're doing everything you can to be different, and you're making me fall in love with you all over again." You whisper, leaning in to his hand where his thumb traces gently over your cheekbone. "And I don't care what the past held as long as I have a future with you, as long as you're here with me I don't care about anything else."

Ben smiles when he kisses you, the shape of his lips imprinting against yours, and making you lose yourself in loving him the same way that you had all those years ago. "I love you sweetheart."

"I love you too." You smile just as wide, fingers tangling in his dark hair. "And I'm sorry. I shouldn't have compared you to Howard. You're not like him Ben. You are my everything and Howard was nothing."

He nods. "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to hold you back I just wanted to make sure you were safe."

"I know. I want to keep you safe too." You nudge your nose against his, breathing in the same air for a few moments.

He is still smiling softly. "Why are we like this?"

"Like what?"

"We always find something to fight about and I-"

“I kinda like it.”  You shrug.

“What?”

“Not that I like that you’re mad at me or being mad at you, I just think that we like to keep it interesting." You snort. "I think that if we didn't have a healthy amount of fighting we would just be so boring and-"

Ben kisses you again to shut you up, but it doesn't work.

"Plus, I like to think that the make-up is worth it after." You whisper against his lips with a smirk.

You watch Ben's eyes darken, with your comment. "Well, sweetheart, I'd say that we've got about forty years to make-up for." His hand on your waist tightens, moving his lips to your ear. "And I look forward to every single second." Ben's voice is rough and he bites your earlobe, sending a shiver down your spine that for a moment clears your worry about Homelander.

"I love you." You smile, kissing him like it's the last thing you'll ever do, like it's the greatest good you'll ever amount to.

"I love you too." Ben replies kissing you like it's the last time he'll be able to and trying not to think that it could be.

A/N: A lot of delicious angst before the final fight! I have written most of the fight already, but I am hoping to finish out the next chapter by the end of the week... if the writer's block isn't blocking. 😂😭 I hope y'all liked this one. I see only maybe 2 chapters left officially in the series, but we will see how everything wraps up.

As always thank you so much for reading! I am so happy that so many people love this fic as much as I do. Let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist! :)

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[misseviehyde]

BOTTLE IT

Mike loved his girlfriend Ashton so much, but she really did have a confidence problem. It was the sixth time she had tried to pass her driving test and failed.

"Oh dear," whimpered Ashton as she reversed over a bicycle and crushed it... the examiner shaking his head as he ticked fail yet again.

The stupid thing was, Ashton was a great driver. When relaxed she was brilliant... but as soon as she was put under any pressure her confidence crumbled and she bottled it.

Michael comforted Ashton as she cried on his shoulder. "I can't do anything right," she wept.

It wasn't just the driving test. Ashton was a real wallflower and would lose her nerve as soon as any pressure was applied. Michael wished he could find a way to boost her fragile confidence.

But how?

***

"Here, give your girlfriend this blonde hair dye and I promise her confidence will swell," smirked Michael's bitchy step-sister Gina. "Everyone knows blonde girls are more confident. Convince her to go blonde and I promise she'll never go back."

Michael didn't entirely trust his step-sister, but the bottle of confidence boosting blonde hair dye did seem like a thoughtful idea. Perhaps the psychological effect alone would make Ashton more bold and confident.

Michael knew that Ashton would be against using this dye, so he swapped it out for her usual hair colour and waited. He was sure she would forgive him once she saw the results.

***

Ashton hummed to herself as she lathered her hair with her usual dark brown hair dye and waited for it to take effect. It smelt and felt different this time, and as she rubbed it in she felt a strange erotic tingle throb through her body.

Ashton's eyes widened as she watched her hair sparkle and glow. A vivid blonde streak suddenly flashed through her hair, then another and another.

She moaned, her scalp tingling and throbbing deliciously as the dye was absorbed in. This was no ordinary dye, it was magical and she gasped as her hair lengthened and grew, turning blonder and silkier as it transformed.

Ashton groaned as her skin tanned and her flat boobed chest swelled and expanded. Her lips curled into a cruel bitchy smirk as her lashes lengthened and sharp pink nails shot from her fingers.

"Fuckkk yessssss," she hissed as a surge of power and confidence throbbed through her body. She laughed, tossing back her hair and giggling as her flabby body toned up. Stretching her toned body, Ashton grinned as she grew taller and more curvaceous. Her tits were now large and firm, her ass perfect. Her body posture changed to become confident and bossy.

"This is soooo much fucking better," she purred. "That fucking loser Ashton is dead... I am Ash now."

***

Ash grinned as she straddled her new boyfriends bike and looked over at the weeping loser on the road.

She'd kicked Michael over with with one of her booted heels, knocking him out of her way when the pathetic wimp had tried to stop her getting on the bike with Marlon.

"How many times do I have to tell you loser? I'm Marlon's girl now."

Ash's pussy was already wet and she could feel her superior new boyfriends big cock was rock hard through his jeans. He loved seeing his new woman crush losers.

Ash was so horny for her badboy lover. She wished she could fuck him right here and show the world what a stud he was. In fact she was tempted - it wasn't like she lacked the confidence anymore.

Since dying her hair Ash had quit her dead-end job and started working as a dancer in a bar. That was where she had met the biker gang and instantly been accepted as their newest recruit. She even had a tattoo on her lower back, the gangs emblem. She was a biker bitch for life now.

"Ashton, please. My step sister tricked me. That dye has turned you into an evil biker bitch. You have to listen."

Ignoring Michael, Ash kissed Marlon, her tongue in his mouth. Then spinning round she giggled as he groped her tits with one hand and used his other to grab the handle bars.

Ash had passed her driving test weeks ago, easily getting a perfect performance... especially when she sucked off the examiner. She loved driving, but her real passion was for motorbikes.

Ash couldn't wait to buy her own and join the gang for real, but for now she would ride with Marlon... in every sense.

Laughing wildly, she turned her eyes to the road as Marlon gunned the bike and they set off into the future. Her pathetic cuck of a boyfriend was left weeping, wishing his innocent and kind girlfriend would return.

But Ashton was dead. Ash had taken her place and this bad bitch was here to stay.

Blondes really do have more fun.

[libraryofgage]

Harlequin Prince (3)

Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually

Debbie and Fester Addams One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six Rick and Evelyn O'Connell One | Two | Three Harley Quinn One | Two | Three (you're here!) 10th Doctor and Rose One | Two Scooby Gang (there are plans for this one lmao, so plz be patient with me orz) Jedidiah and Octavius (from Night at the Museum) One | Two Queen Clarisse Renaldi One | Two | Three Leverage Crew One

So that Suicide Squad Isekai anime huh (it's great, I love it actually)

Anyway, I'll be playing fast and loose with Batman canon so all the batkids can be around at the same time have fun with that cuz I did (also forgive me if anyone is a little too OOC; i'm here for a good time not a long time), and the little flashback bit will continue in the next parts as Steve meets more batkids ^_^

As always, if you see any typos, no you didn't UwU

----

Harley drops him off at Wayne Manor just after ten in the morning. She tugs a window open, carries him inside, kisses him on the forehead, and promises to pick him up in a week before climbing back out. Steve watches her until she's past the gate, clutching a Green Lantern plush his mother insisted he carry around because it'll annoy his Uncle Bruce.

Steve glances down at the plush, wishing his mother didn't have to go off on a mission when she'd just gotten out of Arkham two months ago. His wishes won't actually change anything, though, so he might as well make the best of his week with Uncle Bruce.

He turns on his heel, taking in the plain bedroom that will probably become his for the next few days. He holds the Green Lantern plush close and marches to the door, stepping out into the hall and choosing a random direction to walk in.

According to his mother, Wayne Manor can have anywhere between two and ten people staying in it at one time. She told him that Dick would be the most welcoming, if not the most confused, the girls would be the most fun, and Damien would be the most guarded, likely to consider him a threat for his entire stay.

It's just his luck that the first person he runs into is Damien. The other boy drops from the ceiling, blade of his sword glinting in the light as it comes to a stop just against Steve's neck. Steve freezes, glancing down at the sharp edge as Damien says, "Think very carefully before answering. Who are you, and what are you doing in my home?"

Steve looks away from the sword, tilting his head slightly as he shrugs. "I'm Steve. I'm staying here for a week," he says.

Damien's eyes narrow, and he takes a step closer, adjusting his arms so the katana doesn't move. "Says who? Does Father know you're here? Are you a spy sent by my mother?"

"Says my mom. Maybe. No," Steve replies.

A few more seconds pass before Damien hums. "Who's your mother?"

"Harley."

"Quinn?"

"Is there another?"

Slowly, Damien lowers the sword. "I suppose Quinn is somewhat reformed. How old are you?" he asks.

"Almost six."

"So, you're five," Damien says, nodding once. He sheathes his sword, apparently deciding Steve is no threat to him. "That makes me older than you, so you have to do what I say. Consider me your big brother for the week."

"Are you gonna make me hurt myself?"

"No."

"Mom said you wouldn't like me."

"Father said I should try being more trusting and welcoming. You are small and untrained, like a puppy. I could dismember you before you hurt me, which makes you ideal for practicing," Damien explains. He's quiet for a few seconds before getting a slight smirk. "Besides, it will greatly annoy my brothers if you obviously prefer me over them."

"I'm great at pretending as long as we can do fun stuff, too."

"Then we have a deal. You will act like I'm your favorite, and I will make sure you have fun."

Steve considers this, decides Damien is well on his way to actually being Steve's favorite, and steps closer. "Mom said Alfred makes the best cookies. Can we have some?"

"Yes," Damien says, "If you're hungry, then it's my responsibility to feed you as your big brother."

He offers his hand, seeming unsure when Steve takes it, like he isn't used to this kind of contact. Still, he doesn't pull away; he just hesitantly squeezes Steve's hand before leading him down the hall.

----

Not two days ago, Steve was telling himself he'd never set foot in Hawkins High School. Now, after getting the run down on the Upside Down (and holy shit did this place suddenly get a thousand times more interesting), Steve decides he'll just have to brave the brick walls to get Eddie out.

He leans forward on his motorcycle, arms resting on the handlebars as he looks up at the building. There's an American flag waving in the wind, faded paint on the outside, and security so lax it'd be suspicious in Gotham. Steve briefly considers leaving his helmet on, but he settles for placing it on the seat once he's off the motorcycle.

Walking into the school is easy. He doesn't even get stopped by the receptionist at the front desk. She just waves him in without looking up from her book. So, yeah, getting in is easy; figuring out where Eddie is might be a little harder.

He wanders the halls and stops the first student he sees, a girl with short brown hair carrying an unwieldy instrument case in her arms. Steve places his hands on the case and gently pushes down, flashing a grin when he can finally see her face. "Uh, can I help you?" she asks, her tone implying she very much does not want to help him.

"Yeah, I'm looking for someone," Steve says.

Her nose wrinkles slightly in disgust. "Listen, dingus, if this is some kind of pick-up line dare, save it," she says, rolling her eyes. She takes a step back and Steve follows.

"Nope, definitely not," he says, "You're not my type, sorry."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, unless you're not a girl...," he says, voice trailing off and eyebrow raising as he watches her understand his meaning.

She blinks, her shoulders rising some. She glances around, confirms the hallway is still empty, and relaxes. "Word of advice," she says, "don't just say that shit where anyone can hear. People aren't exactly nice about it around here."

Steve flashes a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, I can take care of myself, but thanks. Anyway, still looking for someone."

"Oh, right, uh, what's their name?"

"Eddie Munson. Know him?"

She blinks again, her eyebrows shooting up in slight disbelief. "Yeah, I know him. Whatcha need him for? He doesn't usually sell until after school."

Oh. Steve hums softly, filing away that tidbit of information for later. "Not here to buy. I'm here to take him somewhere fun," he says.

A few seconds pass in which the girl looks at Steve, drops her gaze to the instrument case between them, and then glances around the empty hall. "Well, shit, man, I wanna go somewhere fun, too."

Steve considers her for a moment, trying to figure out the logistics of fitting her and Eddie on his bike. Well, he can just have her sit on the handlebars or something. "Okay, but the instrument won't fit," he tells her.

The grin he gets in return tells him that won't be a problem. "Name's Robin, by the way."

This has to be fate, right?

"Steve. Nice to meetcha, Robin."

Robin's grin gets even wider, and Steve knows they'll be great friends.

---

"Eddie usually sits in a corner," Robin says, standing at the edge of the cafeteria with Steve. It's teeming with life, and Steve hears snippets of conversations that blur into one dull roar that settles over the space. It reminds him of bars in Gotham even more than the actual bars he's visited here in Hawkins.

He can't see into the corners from here, but that doesn't bother him. "Wait here," he says, flashing a grin at Robin before walking to a mostly empty table. He climbs onto it, reaches into one of his jacket's inner pockets, and pulls out an air horn.

Steve waits long enough to see Robin cover her ears before raising the horn in the air and pressing down. It blares through the room, drowning out conversations and forcing people at the surrounding tables to cover their ears. A few more seconds pass before Steve lets up on the horn, grinning widely at the sea of eyes turned towards him.

"I'm looking for Eddie Munson," he says, twirling the air horn in the palm of his hand.

Instead of a verbal answer, he watches as the eyes turn from him to a corner across the room. A few people even duck close to their tables to clear Steve's line of sight, allowing him to see a confused Eddie sitting with his friends.

Steve grins, pockets the air horn, and starts making his way across the cafeteria. He walks on tables, jumps between them, and narrowly avoids stepping on more than one tray along the way. By the time he reaches Eddie's table, most of the students have gone back to their lunches and conversations.

"How's it going, Eds?" Steve asks, crouching in front of Eddie with a grin. He glances at the other boys by him, notes the identical Hellfire Club shirts, and nods in acknowledgement.

"Better now," Eddie says, his startled blink telling Steve he definitely didn't mean to say that out loud.

Steve somehow grins wider. "Wanna make like a banana and split? I've got somewhere fun in mind," he says, popping up from his crouch before hopping off the table and into the narrow space between Eddie's chair and his friend's.

"Dude, really?" one of his friends asks. "We have a session today."

Eddie looks torn at that realization, halfway standing and stuck like that. "That we do, Gare-bear," he says, defeat bringing his shoulders down.

"In that case, consider this a kidnapping," Steve tells them, grabbing Eddie's hand and pulling him up. He wraps his arm around Eddie's shoulders, winks at his friends, and promises, "I'll have him home before six, though."

Eddie's friends exchange glances, and Steve graciously pretends not to notice the puppy dog eyes Eddie aims at them. After a few seconds, one of them stands up, towering over Steve and outweighing him by a good bit. He clears his throat, glances at the other two, and tries to sound intimidating as he says, "Make it five thirty, and no funny business."

Steve nods and offers a mocking two-finger salute. "Yes, sir," he replies, flashing a grin before taking Eddie's bag from his seat and dragging him to where Robin is waiting.

"So, where are you kidnapping me to?" Eddie asks, managing to stick close to Steve despite having to weave through chairs and tables.

"Nothing special, really. Just an abandoned laboratory in the middle of the woods that has a gateway to another dimension filled with faceless monsters. Oh, and Robin's coming, too. Don't worry, though, I won't let you get hurt. "

He glances over to meet Eddie's wide eyes, something warm curling behind his ribs when Eddie finally smiles and whispers under his breath, "Fucking metal."

-----

Tag List (definitely still room, so let me know if you'd like to be tagged!):

@nectandra, @y4r3luv, @just-a-tiny-void, @dotdot-wierdlife

@midwestharpy, @twilitdragoneye, @disrespectedgoatman

@lawrencebshoggoth,

And now, a meme:

[taesanluv3r]

build-a-bear.

kim woonhak x reader

idol! woonhak x non-idol! reader, established relationship. based on this woonhak scenario i wrote a while back!! cuss words, first i love yous. lowercase intended. pls excuse any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors. enjoyy <3

wc: 3,324

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

"fine then." - "fine!"

those were the last two words kim woonhak and yn ln had spoken to each other before she had slammed her front door shut on his face, before he had angrily turned around and begun walking towards the exit of her apartment building, before she had shut her blinds and stuffed her head deep into her white sheets, staining the fabric with silly little tears.

they didn't want to fight. in fact, the young couple rarely ever did so in the first place. however, with the newly debuted idol boy's rising fame, and the girl's growing insecurities, it was almost inevitable this one particular argument was going to come up onto the surface of their otherwise wholesome relationship.

you see, yn and woonhak have known each other for ages now. when he first started showing signs of his dream career, she was the first to support him- heck! she even came to all the auditions with him and gave him endless moral support. similarly, he was always there for her, accompanying her when she had to study late for an exam, or even sending her chocolates and other sweets when it was that time of the month. the pair have mutually liked each other forever, and they both knew that as well. it didn't take them long at all before they started officially dating, sharing one awkward kiss under the moonlight before he left again to the next city over to start the preparations for his coming debut.

from then on, she started seeing him less and less. their daily conversations on the phone had become simple good night and good morning texts that don't really give her much of a serotonin boost anymore. she missed him, and she always let him know. he missed her too, he just didn't have the time to tell her. she'd complain about it, "you don't have time for me anymore, huh?" and he'd furrow his eyebrows, "i have a job to do, yn. i thought you supported me the most?" then she'd gasp, taken aback by his words, her own eyebrows knitting together and her eyes almost glowing red in anger. for a second, she saw the way his eyes watered, like he knew he was wrong. but kim woonhak was stubborn, quickly shaking away that look and mimicking her own furious one. and that's how it happened. that's how they ended up in this battle of silence, secretly waiting for the other to break and end this cold war they didn't even want in the first place.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

woonhak sighs as he finally takes off his shoes. schedules ended earlier and the boy still had practically the whole day to do whatever he wanted. he watched as his members went their own ways, leehan and riwoo heading to some cafe, taesan locking himself up in his studio as per usual, sungho going out to see a movie, and jaehyun...sitting on the couch in the middle of a very serious fifa game.

"so where you headed, broski?" jaehyun suddenly asks the boy, still not looking away from the TV screen. "going to see your girlfriend? or are you still not talking to her like an idiot?" he snickered, earning a big eye roll and middle finger directed at his face from the younger boy. "i don't know hyung...i mean i obviously want to see her...but i'm not sure how she'll forgive me when i've been such an asshole" woonhak says, slumping himself down on the spot beside the older member. "just...ah-!" jae cut himself off when he misses a goal in the video game, "just go get her a gift or something- don't girls like that stuff?" once again the younger one rolls his eyes, but he nods at his leader's suggestion. "i guess you're right hyung...i'm gonna go to the mall and find something" and with that the kim boy gets up, slipping back on his shoes and grabbing himself a cap to cover up his messy hair before running out the door and down the building to call himself a taxi.

woonhak arrives at the mall, dragging his feet solemnly as he passed by multiple young couples on dates. "seriously...it's not even valentine's day...why is everyone out on a date here right now?!" he grumbled to himself, probably looking like a big ol' loser to the outside eyes that felt like they lingered on him as he walked. the boy circles the mall for what he swore were hours but he found nothing at all that was worthy enough to gift his angry girlfriend. "ugh..." the boy groans as he's one step closer to giving up and just meeting with her empty handed like the idiot that everyone kept saying he was. however, all those doubts immediately exited his head when a familiar large sign appears in his line of sight. it's bright yellow with a giant brown bear and beside it in big blue lettering, it read:

build-a-bear workshop.

"perfect!" he almost said too loudly as his eyes gleamed and began to sparkle. in the moment it seemed as though a big bright light-bulb had gone off in his head, his large feet padding against the floor and taking him into the kid's doll factory. the boy's eyes were wide and his mouth hung opened as he took in his surroundings. a huge variety of stuffed animals, in all kinds of shapes, sizes, and designs stood against every corner of the shop. on high shelves, rows and rows of clothes, all perfectly tailored to fit the standard plush toy size.

woonhak didn't know where to start. the loud speakers that played recent k-pop hits, mixed with the sound of little kids running around and dragging their parents in and out of the store made his ears ring and head hurt a little. his finger grazed against the wood as he scanned through every skin you could pick for your toy, there were cats, dogs, even moths! but one thing in particular caught the boy's attention. right there in the very corner of the store, just a simple brown bear. there was only one left in stock and it was just perfect. it's fur was light brown, it's legs were slightly longer than it should be, and it had the sweetest set of little dark brown orbs for eyes. even if he tried to, woonhak couldn't deny the fact that the teddy was nearly the spitting image of himself.

"okay, now rub the heart against your chest, hold it in your palms and give it your best wishes!" the tall guy's cheeks turn bright red as he follows the bear stuff-er's instructions, praying to god no one recognized him beneath his cap and beginning to regret doing all of this in the first place. it was all over in a second though, the bear being all stuffed up, it's heart and a little recording he did all wrapped up warmly inside it's cotton flesh. now it was time to dress it. woonhak hasn't really had any experience dressing anyone but himself, so it was really hard for him to not dress the plush toy like it had just raided his own closet. and so, naturally, the boy chooses a light blue jersey and a miniature pair of denim jeans, a cute pair of black sunglasses as an add-on accessory to it's look as well.

"now, all that's left to do is to name it...but what..." he mumbles to himself, tapping his fingers against the surface of the table that was much much shorter than him. "hey mister" a squeaky voice, and the feeling of his sweatshirt getting tugged down shakes him out of his thoughts. "huh?" he asked, looking down to meet eyes with a little girl. "mister, that doll looks just like you!" her eyes disappeared as she smiled- well, if you could even see them under her thick bangs that messily decorated her forehead, and she shot him a toothy grin. "me?" the boy asks, beginning to smile too at the sweet girl. "mhm!" she says finally before running away. "great..." he says, smiling proudly at himself as he begins to type out the teddy's name for it's birth certificate.

"there you go, have a nice day and come again soon!" woonhak nods, thanking the cashier before leaving the store. "like hell i'm going in there again..." he whispers to himself, the image of his own self awkwardly pressing kisses onto a miniature plastic heart in the middle of a kid's store flashing in his head as he began to walk out of the mall and into a cab. he's on his way back to the dorm now, trying his best to stuff the build-a-bear box in his large tote-bag so that his group members wouldn't see it. cause if they ever did, he'd never ever hear the end of it. woonhak throws his shoes off on the rack, quickly making his way over to his bedroom and trying his best to avoid his hyungs that were playing together in the living area. "so, what you got there, woonagi~?" leehan called out from the bean-bag on the floor. "yeah bro, show us what you got for your girl~friend~" taesan follows, dragging out his words teasingly. "it's nothing, leave me alone! and DON'T come in the room" the tall maknae boy says sternly, narrowing his eyes at the others who just stifled in their laughs and nodded.

the kim guy can't help but giggle like a child as he pulls out the doll, sighing once as he places it and it's papers into a different bag; a gift bag he had picked up before leaving the mall, it was pink and just the right size to fit the rather beefy bear. "now...the hard part" he sighs once more as he picks up his phone, his chatroom with her vacant, no new messages since their argument the other day. it felt foreign, unusual for he always had new messages from her. the boy takes a deep breath, fingers tapping softly against the screen of his phone as he began to type. it takes him a while though, coming up with a sentence and then deleting it all and starting again and again, until finally, he pressed send.

i know u hate me rn but i literally cant function without u pls meet me at the park tonight let me make it up to u please?

the boy doesn't expect her to open his texts so fast, he finds himself twirling his lips against his teeth as he watches the way three dots begin to bounce up and down on her side of the chatroom. he doesn't even realize he's holding his breath until her response causes him to let it all out. it's simple, dry, still unlike her, but at least it's something.

my love<3 ok, see u in 5.

"bye guys wish me luck" woonhak calls out as he rushes out the door, the sound of his confused (but supportive) members growing faint as the door closes behind him.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

by the time the boy gets to the park she was already there. yn ln, sitting patiently against the green grass. her hair fell loose against the skin of her arms, he could see from where he stood afar the way the breeze sent a shiver down her spine. "how long have you been waiting?" he asks, finally sitting down beside her. "not long" yn's words are cold, much like the atmosphere of the night. and her eyes stayed glued towards the distance, juxtaposing the way his ones remained fixed onto her.

"please look at me" woonhak practically begs, not really knowing when or how his voice got so small. the girl's breath hitches, tears threating to spill out of her eyes as she lets out a sigh and closes them shut. "yn..." he drags out, a shaky hand reaching over to turn her head to face his. "please?" he asks again. this time, she opens her eyes, tearing up slightly at the very sight of him. she couldn't do it anymore. she can't sit there and pretend to hate him, pretend to be angry at him, pretend she didn't miss him. she can't lie anymore. "woonhak" she says, her voice warmer now and a hint of content laced in the way that she spoke. "hey" he said, a smile beginning to grow against his face. "hey" she repeated, her own lips flipping up as well.

"i'm so sorry" the boy says, scooting to sit closer to her. "why? i should be the sorry one, i was being inconsiderate and-" the girl couldn't finish. "no! i was being selfish. this whole idol thing...it's so busy but that doesn't mean i get to be a total asshole about it to you...so, i'm sorry, yn" the features on her face soften as she looks into the genuine sorrow in his own. she lets out a laugh, confusing the boy a little. "don't worry...i get it. i guess i just...missed you, a little, that's all" yn reasons, a sweet smile tugging at her mouth as she slowly leans her head against his shoulder. woonhak reacts almost immediately, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her deep into his embrace. "i...i missed you too"

"what's in the bag?"

the boy sits up straight when her question slips into his ears. "ah! this...this is just a gift i got you...um...here!" he stutters a bit, suddenly flustered by his own romantic gesture. "for me?!" she gasps and he nods, scratching the back of his head, though there was nothing itchy about it at all. "wow...rising rookie idol kim woonhak of boynextdoor bought little ol' me a gift?!" now he rolls his eyes, as if he were telling his girlfriend to shut up and open it already.

"what is it...?" yn mumbles just above a whisper, carefully opening up the ribbon and revealing the insides of the pink paper bag. her mouth drops open as she pulls the bear out, squealing all too loudly as her eyes adored the jersey-wearing teddy bear in her hands. "ah! i love it i love it!" she cheered, wrapping the doll in her arms and hugging it so tight it might just explode. her eyes gleamed, looking up at her boyfriend then back at the bear and then right back at him again. "where's the birth certificate thingy...wait" yn spoke, looking back in the bag for the printed piece of paper. "hah!" she exclaimed, her smile reaching her eyes as she read through her doll's information. "birth name...kim unak...how...fitting" she said, shooting her boyfriend a look of slight disbelief he would name a doll after himself. "hey! don't look at me like that, some kid said he looked like me!" woonhak argued, grabbing the bear and holding it up beside his face. "hm...the kid was so right" yn replied, finding the resemblance quite cute.

"thank you woonhak, i love it..." her loving expression as she patted a hand against the fur of the stuffed toy's head was enough to satisfy the boy for the rest of his life. "oh! and...um...if you ever miss me when i'm busy...just press on his hand- but not right now! it's embarrassing! do it later!" he panics, sighing in relief when she moves her hand away from the heart-shaped patch on the bear's one. "okay then..."

the rest of the night was spent in peace. just a couple of sweet teens finding comfort in each other's arms after being separated from each other for far too long (it's been like two days pls don't be dramatic). "and so then i told professor yang about it and he totally freaked and...are you even listening to me?" yn stops mid-story, her head that laid on his lap shifting slightly to get a better look at his face. the face that stayed still staring at her blankly, his large hand mindlessly stroking her hair as she talked about whatever it was that he didn't really seem to be listening to well enough. "hello? woonhak?" he shook his head, "huh? what? sorry...i got kind of distracted" she chuckles, rolling her eyes playfully as she sits back up. "am i distracting you with my beauty again?" yn teases, loving the way his cheeks grow red and his hands fly up to cover his face. she giggles, pushing the boy down on his shoulders, sending him toppling on his back onto the grass.

she hovers over him, moving his hands away so she could see him clearly against the bright moonlight. the boy smiles softly at her, reaching up to push her hair behind her ears. his hand lingers, moving to cup at her blushy cheeks. yn giggles, finding his touch ticklish against her skin. "yn..." he begins, voice rather raspy from the way he fully laid down on the ground. "mhm?" she hums, head tilting to the side in curiosity as her boyfriend sat up again.

"i love you"

his voice was clear now, not a single bit of shakiness or fear in the way that he spoke. she smiled, not even a little bit shocked from the words that came out of his mouth because she knew. she knew all along that he felt that way, and she knew that she had always felt the same way for him too, she had just been waiting for the right moment where one of them would say it out loud first. yn presses a hand on either side of his warm complexion, pulling him in for a short kiss. it was sweet, a honey flavour from her lip-balm seeping onto his tongue. then they parted, hands still holding onto each other's faces and she smiles, he's grinning with all his teeth showing.

"i love you too, woonhak"

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

later that night when yn ln got home, she hastily kicked off her shoes and ran straight to her bedroom. she didn't even care to properly put away her bag and her coat, jumping straight onto her bed and pulling out the brown teddy her boyfriend had gifted her earlier.

"...if you ever miss me when i'm busy...just press on his hand" his words replayed in her mind, "press on his hand..." she whispered to herself, carefully gripping onto the stuffed toy's hand, putting just enough pressure on it until she heard a click of a button. a moment of silence engulfed the atmosphere around her, just a moment before woonhak's voice began to sing out of the cheapest sounding speaker located within the bear.

"Mm mm 지금 내 playlist...금요일에 시간 어때요? 내 새벽을 망치지 마요..."

his own song, his debut song. he sang it just for her. her own serenade to listen to whenever they couldn't meet...

aw, rising rookie idol kim woonhak from boynextdoor...what a sweetheart, you are <3

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

"i'm home! hyung...? what are you guys laughing about?" woonhak furrows his eyebrows as he walks towards the living room. riwoo sighs, calming down from his fit of laughter. "so...did she like the build-a-bear?" he asked, breaking into hysterics once again, as did the others. "huh? WHAT HOW'D YOU FIND OUT?" the maknae boy couldn't believe his ears, eyes widening and mouth dropping opened. "woonhak...it's all over the internet!" sungho exclaims, turning his phone over to show him the source of all their laughter right now.

"what...oh my god" the boy's whole body grows a ripe-tomato-shade of red. there, on the older member's screen, a fan-taken video of him at the build-a-bear store, the cap on his head failing to hide the obvious embarrassment on his face as he stands near the stuffing machine of the store, awkwardly wishing his newly stuffed teddy a good life and rubbing it's plastic heart within his palms.

at least his girlfriend's reaction was worth it...cause there's no fucking way his hyungs are ever gonna let this one go...EVER!

the end.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

i feel like this sucked but it's cute idk idk idk i just want loverboy woonhak so soososososo badly hes so sweet :( i locve him im crying while typing this btw hope u enjoyed TT reblogs n feedbacks r soso appreciated i love u guys so much. love, kona. MWAHHHH

[komotionlessqueenmm]

Cherrywood

(2-2)

Short story # 19

Gif NOT mine.

Summary - After seeing the state of your orchard, Daemon makes you an offer he believes you cannot refuse. But when you decline his offer, he is left to wonder what it would take to make you agree. And if perhaps it would be easier to just take you away.

Year posted - 2024

Rating - SFW

Reading time (roughly) - 17 minutes

"So sweetling, mind telling me where I am?" Daemon asked as he sat at the table within the cottage, happily accepting the morning meal (Y/n) placed before him. "Cherrywood orchard, my childhood home." She explained with a small smile, proud of her homestead. "That name sounds familiar." He mused in thought. "The cherrys from my orchard are often sent to the Castle in Kingslanding." She sat across from him, a small plate of food before her. "Ah yes Cherrywood orchard, the home of the best cherries in all of Westeros." Daemon hummed with a charming smile. "I wouldn't go that far." (Y/n) smiled faintly, trying to ignore the blush creeping up her neck from the Prince's intense gaze. "Oh but I would." He teased playfully, his attention snapping to the whimpers coming from another room. "Leo I nearly forgot about him!" (Y/n) hissed as she rushed across the cottage.

Daemon watched with amusement when (Y/n) opened the door leading to the whimpers, only for her to be barreled down to the floor by an excited sheepdog. "Leo calm down it's okay. Yes yes I know I know." She mused to the excited dog, as she got back up from the floor, dusting off her skirts. She intended on taking him outside, but hesitated when she suddenly remembered the crimson dragon, who lay just beyond the walls of her home. "M-my Prince... I well I." She stammered, trying to figure out how to put together her words, but failing measurably. "What is it sweetling?" He asked, rising from his seat, and approaching her. "Well... I need to go out and assess the orchard after the storm, and Leo always joins me in the orchard... But your dragon... I'm afraid of what he might do." She admitted, and Daemon smiled softly. "He will do you, nor your loyal pup, any harm. I will accompany you to ensure it." He offered her his arm, his well tailored clothes a stark contrast to her plan dress that she'd made two summers ago. "O-oh alright." She stammered again, not used to the attentions of a man, let alone one of such nobility.

Exiting the cottage, (Y/n) made sure Leo heeled behind her, so as to not tempt the mighty beast, who lay in wait. And when they stepped outside, Caraxes attention was drawn to them, seemingly contempt and as docile as before. Much to (Y/n)'s relief. "He's incredible, isn't he?" Daemon mused aloud, breaking away from (Y/n)'s side to approach his loyal dragon. "Yes... Albeit a bit terrifying." (Y/n) admitted, signaling for Leo to run off to the barn, where he could be with Zero and out of sight of the dragon. "You shouldn't be afraid, you have nothing to fear. He proved that last night when he allowed you to bring me here." The Prince said, placing his hands against the dragons muzzle affectionately. "Perhaps, but still he is like nothing I've ever faced before, and that frightens me." She again admitted to how she felt around the creature, yet still standing her ground and refusing to run away like her body begged her to.

"Come here, you should meet him properly." Daemon offered his hand to her, a warm and comfortable smile on his face, which eased her anxiety a little. "If he eats me, I'll never forgive you." (Y/n) stated as she stepped forward, her words drawing a laugh from the Rouge Prince. "I understand." He said with a grin, taking her hand once she was within reach, and pulling her to stand directly beside himself and Caraxes. "Don't worry, no harm will come to you." Daemon assured her, noticing the fear on her face. "Just relax." He added as he took her hand, and slowly moved it to rest against Caraxes snout. The dragon blew air from his nose at them, much like he had the night before. Only this time he was far more relaxed, knowing that his master was well again. "He likes you." Daemon whispered close to her ear, having stepped closer to her until his chest pressed against her back.

"What makes you so sure?" (Y/n) asked without thought. "He usually only ever does that to me." The Prince stated, moving her hand to rub gently across the dragons scales. "You hear that rumble?" He asked her in a hushed tone, the smile evident in his voice. "Yes." She whispered, entranced by the beast before her. "He's purring, like a great big cat." He said with amusement, making (Y/n) chuckle softly. "He really is the most incredible thing I've ever seen." She breathed out dreamily, her fears completely washed away, and replaced with pure awe. "He's even more incredible when he flies." Daemon mused, his lilac eyes turning to observe (Y/n) more closely. "I imagine so." She smiled, enraptured with the feel of Caraxes scaled beneath her hand. Suddenly the moment was broken by the loud caws of a flock of nearby crows, drawing (Y/n)'s attention back to her homestead.

"I really should see what damage the storm has done to my orchard." She stated, slowly pulling away from Caraxes and Daemon both. Her cheeks a flush of pink, only having just noticed how close the Prince had gotten to her. "Yes, of course." Daemon agreed, following her and commanding in valyrian for Caraxes to stay put. When they neared the orchard, the Rouge Prince noticed the way (Y/n)'s breathing had hitched. And when he noticed several of the cherry trees broken and destroyed, he understood her sudden change in mood. And wondered silently what this would mean for her. "Oh no." She breathed out in a soft whisper, picking up her shirts slightly before jogging further into the orchard. Daemon chased after her, intent on keeping her within his line of sight. "Gods be good, nearly half the orchard is destroyed!" (Y/n) said as silent tears rolled down her cheeks, Daemon pulled her into his embrace, trying to sooth her.

"It will be alright." The Rouge Prince said in a calm tone, his hands tightening around her waist, when she pulled back to look him in the face. "No it won't be alright. This is all I have, this is my entire livelihood. Without a full orchard I cannot provide the Red Keep with cherries, or the other settlements my produce is shipped off to." Her throat tightened as the realization of it all came crashing over her. Causing her to bury her face into Daemons chest, much to his satisfaction. "What can we do to fix this?" He asked as his hands rubbed soothingly at her back. "New trees will have to be planted in early spring next season, and it will take four to seven years before they will bare fruit that can be harvested." She hiccuped a little at the end. "Deals that have already been made with several settlements will have to be broken, and their coin returned to them. I can still provide the Royal Castle with Cherries, but as the years go by the orders get larger and larger for the Castle." She pulled away to look into his lilac eyes. She looked like that of a broken child, weeping for things that cannot be fixed.

"Why not leave this all behind? Come with me, forget about this life, and the struggles that come with it." He offered her with a charming smile, certain that she would take his offer in a heartbeat. "That is kind of you my Prince, but I cannot just abandon this place. It is my home. I was born here, and I will die here like my family has." She smiled through her tears, and Daemon had to force a kind smile, annoyed that she didn't simply take his offer. "What happened to your family?" He asked, intent on changing the subject for a brief time. "My mother died of a fever when I was barely a woman, and the following year my father was in a farming accident while helping an old family friend. He later died from an infection we could not battle. My elder brother was murdered a few years ago by a thief attempting to steal from our home. I held him in my arms as he bled out... I witnessed all of their deaths." She frowned deeply, remembering their faces in their last moments all to well.

"I buried each of them, below a great willow tree, where I hope to be buried one day. Once more reunited with them all." A few more tears escaped her glossy eyes, and Daemon wiped them away with his thumbs. "But who will bury you, if their is no one left?" He asked in a soft tone. "I'm afraid I do not know." She shook her head, her piercing eyes staring into his own. "Sweetling... This is no life for a beautiful woman such as yourself. You should be wrapped in fine silks, drinking wine, and not worrying or wanting for anything." He placed a gentle kiss against her forehead, hoping he could still charm her into accepting his offer. "I am merely a common woman, this is my destiny, and my place. I am not a noble woman, and I do not belong to a prominent house. And all I want is a warm hearth, dry shelter, and a meal in my stomach. It's all I can ask." She leaned into his touch as he held her face between his strong hands, hoping not to upset him by rejecting him for a second time. He gave her a tight lipped smile, trying desperately to keep his temper in check.

"You are a fine woman, and you deserve the world. I hope one day you will have that." He let go of her face, and took a small step back. Already brewing a plan within his depraved mind to get exactly what he wants. "Besides you said so yourself, my cherries are the best in Westeros. I cannot simply give that up because times are hard." She smiled sweetly. 'Fuck the cherries, you should be mine!' Daemon thought to himself, but only smiled kindly at her. "Well there is much work to be done, and I need to send word to the settlements about what has happened to my orchard." (Y/n) stated with a sad look upon her pretty face once more. "I will assist you." The Prince offered, seeing it as the perfect opportunity to coax her into being swayed by him. "Oh my Prince, you shouldn't bother yourself with such things." (Y/n) said in a soft tone, making him smile at her. "I insist, it's the least I can do, after all you saved my life." He said smoothly, smirking darkly when she ducked her head in embarrassment. "I suppose you're right." She mumbled as she nervously toyed with the cuff of her sleeve. "Just tell me what you need done, and I'll see it gets done." Daemon said in a charming way, pulling one of her hands up to place a small kiss against her knuckles, again smirking when she blushed deeply.

"V-very well... We'll need an axe from the barn, and Zero will have to be put into his harnesses and hooked to a wagon, to haul all of the wood back to the house." (Y/n) stated as she began walking towards the barn, with the Prince hot on her heels. For several hours they worked tirelessly, cleaning up the debris of the destroyed cherry trees. Daemon chopping the wood into smaller pieces with the axe, while (Y/n) hauled those pieces to the wagon and stacked them accordingly. Barely into the work, the Prince had decided it best to remove his leather tunic, and work in his loose white top. Which became wet from his sweat as he continued to work, the garment sticking to his broad back, and occasionally his chest. And often times (Y/n) found herself staring at him in such a state, mesmerized by how elegant he still looked in such a state. Much to Daemons pleasure, he would smirk and even wink whenever he caught her staring at him. Certain now that should he ask her again, she might be more inclined to accept his offer. When the wagon was full, (Y/n) made note of how much more wood needed to be cleared out. "We should take this load back, and then take a small break." She said to the Prince, trying not to stare when he turned her way.

"Alright." He smiled charmingly, before picking up the hem of his shirt to wipe way the sweat on his brow. (Y/n) audibly squeaked at the sight, averting her eyes quickly. Daemon chuckled softly at the sound, greatly amused by her shy nature. When he approached she grabbed Zeros reins and began leading him back to the barn, where the wood would be stacked and stored for the winter. It wasn't the best wood to burn now, as it was still green. But by winter it will have dried out, and would burn wonderfully on cold nights. "I cannot imagine you would have made so much progress on your own." The Prince mused as he walked beside her. "No I don't imagine I would have." She agreed with a small smile, shivering a little in a good way, when she felt the Prince place his hand against the small of her back. "It is a wonder you do not have a husband already." He said casually. "I do not get out much, my time is mostly spent here. And the men I have met are either already married, or have no interest in a woman such as myself." (Y/n) admitted. "They are fools not to be charmed by you." Daemon said. Making the young maiden blush deeply, like he had so many times in a single day.

"That is kind of you to say." She mumbled shyly, making him grin. After they'd unloaded the wagon, (Y/n) let Zero out into the pasture to graze and relax for a while. Then they went inside to rest themselves, and eat a small meal to keep up their energies. "You truly are a magnificent creature, it is no wonder Caraxes allowed you to help me." The Prince mused as he sipped the glass of cherry wine she'd offered him. "You are to kind." (Y/n) ducked her head, trying to focus on the food before her. A simple meal, one of salted meat, bread, cheese, and half an apple. The same before the Prince who seemed more occupied with watching her. "Did you make this wine?" He asked before taking another generous sip. "Yes I did, four summers ago. It has been aging since today. I hope it is to your liking." She said meekly, peering at him with curiosity. "The best wine I've had in some time." He praised. "Thank you my Prince." She beamed at him with a smile, clearly proud of her work, and proud she'd pleased him. "Is there anything you cannot do?" He asked playfully, and she thought for a moment. "I cannot play any instruments, never had the time to learn." She concluded, making Daemon chuckle.

"You are a wonder." He mused with a grin. "You give me to much credit." (Y/n) said with a warm glow about her. "And you cease to amaze me." He countered, with a wink. "I should go feed Zero and Leo." (Y/n) stated suddenly, clearly growing flustered by his praise and flirting. "I would like to join you." He said as he followed her. "You don't have to." She insisted, but he only smiled at her, following her outside. Once outside he couldn't help but grasp her arm, turning her attention back to him, hoping he'd charmed her enough to have swayed her mind. "Are you certain you would not rather live a relaxing life with me in the Red Keep?" He asked her in a soft voice. Though when her smile fell, he felt anger bubble in his chest. "I am sorry my Prince, but as I've said, my place is here." She offered him a sad smile, which was quickly replaced by fear, at the deep scowl that had overtaken his soft demeanor. "I have been noticing but kind to you, and yet you deny me?" He hissed, his anger becoming evident. "I will ask you one more time." His grip on her arm tightened painfully. "Come with me." Though it sounded more like a demand than a request. "N-no please let go of me!" (Y/n) stammered as she tried breaking away from him.

Caraxes stirred from his place, becoming alert as he watched the two. "That is the wrong answer." The Rouge Prince hissed, before striking (Y/n) so hard she fell unconscious. He caught her in his arms before she could fall to the ground, gently cradling her in his arms. "You are coming back with me, whether you like it or not." He muttered to her, as he brushed her hair out of her face. Afterwards he mounted Caraxes with her securely in his arms, taking flight but merely hovering over her homestead. "Dracarys." He ordered Caraxes, who set ablaze her home, what remained of the orchard, and even the barn. Leaving the dog and horse to fend for themselves in the pasture, before flying back to Kingslanding. The trip was short on dragonback, and once inside the dragonpit Daemon dismounted Caraxes, with (Y/n) still in his hold. Everyone he passed gave him questioning looks, but no one dare ask him who the woman was, and why she was here.

Hours later (Y/n) began to stir awake, groaning softly at the dull pain in her head. But as she nestled within the bed, she realized it was much different from her own. Plush and luxurious compared to her bed, the blankets feeling like fine silk and linen. When she cracked open her eyes, she observed a fine canopy above her, something her bed did not have. And suddenly everything came back to her, and she was filled with fear. Sitting up quickly she tried rushing out of the bed, only to be pulled back by her ankle, and falling to the cold stone floor. She had screamed momentarily, thinking someone had ahold of her, but she quickly realized it was in fact a metal cuff around her ankle, which was chained to the bedpost. Tears welled in her eyes as she realized that the Rouge Prince had kidnapped her, and taken her prisoner. Silently she pulled herself up, and curled up in a ball on the bed. Wishing that she had never met him, that she hadn't saved his life, and that she was back at home. As she sobbed quietly, she didn't notice the chamber door open and close as someone entered. Nor did she notice when they approached the bed. It wasn't until the bed dipped that she looked up, finding Prince Daemon smiling down at her. "You're awake!" He mused as he brushed her hair aside, and it took everything within her not to choke on the sobs escaping her throat. She tried to move away from him, only to be reminded of the wretched chain, when he pulled it harshly to get her back to his side. Oh how the gods have forsaken her.

Buy me a coffee sometime? ☕️

(Click the coffee for my Kofi link, IT'S NOT NECESSARY BTW.)

<- Part one

A nice dark twist for this story, and I hope you enjoyed it! I know I definitely did!