#i'm not saying you ARE one of those kinds of former gifted kids

[billthedrake]

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

"Russ?" the voice called out as I walked through the big-box store parking lot. "Russ McAdams?"

Maybe it was the dark winter dusk or maybe I just didn't expect to see Coach Stanley, out of the classroom in his casual hoodie and jeans, but it took me a second me a second to connect the voice with the face.

Given how much I'd jerked off to fantasies about my AP History teacher back, I probably should have recognized him immediately. The guy wasn't the only dude I lusted after in high school, my body swimming in teen hormones and my head trying to make sense of it all, but I always thought he was the hottest teacher at Aurora High. 5'11" thick ex-baseball player muscle, thinning brown hair and a clean-shaven face that always seemed on the verge of a five o'clock shadow. Even the way he walked was a little bow-legged and a lot masculine.

He wasn't clean-shaven any more, instead sporting a closely trimmed beard. And he wasn't in his khakis and button down shirt now, but instead had on a puffy winter jacket and jeans, with a scarf that mostly covered a casual sweatshirt underneath.

"Coach Stanley?" I said as I realized who was walking up to me. Ed Stanley wasn't my coach, just my teacher, but all the school called him Coach Stanley or Coach S for short.

"Almost didn't recognize you," he said as he held out a gloved hand. I shook it. "Seems you've done some growing in college."

"Yeah, I guess I have," I chuckled and took his words to be a big ego pump. After I moved off to school and came out, I decided that I'd hit the gym. Hard. I was an athletic kid in high school, on the soccer and tennis teams, but I was slender, and my height made me look even leaner. But it was winter break of my junior year and I'd put on a lot of muscle since Coach Stanley last saw me.

"Well, you're looking good, Russ," Coach S said. I mean it was probably an innocent compliment, but standing a few feet apart from the guy, I got caught up in his blue eyes and bright smile for a second. All those silly adolescent puppy crushes I thought I'd outgrown came flooding back to me.

I know I blushed, but my red cheeks could probably be explained by the cold evening weather. I'd underdressed given I had only planned to pop in for a last-minute gift for my sister. "You running some errands, Coach?" I asked.

The man nodded and gave one of those trademark Coach Stanley smiles. Fuck I was gonna be jerking off thinking of him later, for sure. "I've kind of procrastinated but I'm here to pick up a tree." He gave an embarrassed shrug. "It's a lot of trouble to go through with just me, but you know, I guess it doesn't feel like Christmas without one."

I didn't know Coach Stanley's story. I mean, a few of the girls in my high school gossiped about his hot fiancee, so I think I expected him to be married by now.

"You busy shopping, Russ?" he asked. I half thought Coach would just say hello then go on his way. But I figured a teacher enjoys running into a former student. And I was a good student, I knew - academically successful and all-around "good kid."

"A last minute gift," I replied, holding up my bag. "Guess I'm a procrastinator, too, Coach," I laughed.

Stanley flashed me that bright grin, and it seemed like his eyes couldn't break contact. Fuck. "Well, I guess I better let you get on with your errands," he said. "Good running into you, Russ. Take care."

"I will," I said. "Good seeing you, too, Coach."

He paused and then added. "And if you ever want to stop by the school, say hi... I'm always around."

"Will do," I said.

We both kind of stood in the parking lot, looking at each other. I think we laughed at the same time from the awkwardness.

"All right," he finally said with a nod and turned to walk over to where the Christmas trees were set up.

He got about four paces, but I spoke up. I couldn't believe I was about to say this, but I figured if I made a fool of myself, it didn't matter. I didn't live in my hometown any more. And something about Coach's vibe made me think something was up.

"Hey Coach," I said. The man stopped, surprised, but turned around. I took a couple steps forward. "This may sounds weird," I said with a deep blush. "But if you want some help setting up your tree, I'd be glad to help out."

I could feel my heart pound, and I wanted the parking lot to swallow me, the embarrassment was coming on so strong. Thankfully, Coach Stanley's smile returned. "Yeah?"

I nodded.

He seemed like he was trying to check some emotion. "I'm sure you have better things to do, Russ," he said.

I had no inclination that Coach Stanley even thought about guys, but those words were when I knew he wanted me.

"My parents have some holiday party to go to, and I don't have any plans," I said. "I'm happy to help. Honest."

Coach paused then agreed. "All right. Maybe I can give you my address and you can meet me over there?"

We made a plan.

I went back home to drop off my shopping and to grab a quick bite. I had a quick change of clothes. I felt weirdly nervous, like I didn't know what Coach Stanley went for. It was a weird thought and unexpected I'd even be thinking this on a Saturday night before Christmas. I took off my sweats and slipped on a nice pair of jeans. A long-sleeve gray T and a layered T-shirt with my college logo on it seemed to be a nice jocky-preppy outfit and the snug size showed off my body pretty well.

"Hope you like it, Coach," I laughed in the mirror.

I went down to find some leftovers for dinner.

My dad was in the kitchen, pulling out a bottle of wine he was taking to the party. I told him I was thinking of going over to hang out with one of my friends. And maybe staying over if that was Ok.

Dad was the softer touch of my parents, but Mom probably didn't care. I was responsible, and they had a lot of me time over the holidays. "Just text us when you know your plans for sure," he said.

"Will do, Dad," I replied. "Have fun at the party."

"Be safe," he added, as went to get his coat, just as Mom came down the stairs.

They left pretty soon thereafter, and I cleaned up from my quick dinner.

By the time I got to Coach Stanley's place, I was feeling nervous, real nervous. I parked my car and walked up to the front door of the modest colonial house in a decent but not overly fancy neighborhood. I started second guessing myself. Maybe I'd been misreading the cues, but even if so I'd have some quality time with an incredibly hot man. I figured I'd just enjoy that for what it was worth.

When Coach answered the door, I was so turned on. Gone was the puffy coat and the scarf and the sweatshirt. My high school history teacher stood before me in a pair of jeans, sock-clad feet and a loose, thin cotton T-shirt of some fundraising road race. This shirt was a little loose but somehow draped perfectly over the rounded shoulder muscle and strong pecs. Even if it wasn't snug, I could tell Stanley kept his midsection flat and trim for a dude in his late 30s. I don't know why this was a major turn on, but Stanley wore a thin gold chain necklace around his corded neck.

"Glad you could make it, Russ," he greeted, his mellow tenor voice gaining a friendly edge. "Come in. I've just put the tree in the stand and was about to start on the lights."

I did feel kind of dumb. In my imagination, I'd come over and right away would be having sex with my former teachers. But here I was to help him with his tree. I took off my coat and followed him to the living room.

There were a few wrapped presents set to the side and a few family photos in frames. And there was a big bookshelf with hardbound books. But other than that it was very much a bachelor home. Sparse and clean, but not homey at all. I kind of liked it as a glimpse into Coach's personality, but it kind of felt lonely, too.

I set my coat down and followed his directions, holding the string of lights as he wrapped it around.

It was all business, but having two men at the task made it go more quickly. Next was the garland. Then there were a bunch of ornaments to put up - a couple of boxes.

"We don't need to do all of these," Coach said, handing me one.

It was a little frustrating being so close to this hunk in his own home. But it was a good kind of frustration. Sneaking looks at him. His handsome face, his serious demeanor, his hunky body. It was like every sexual thought I'd had sitting in his third period class all junior year came back to me, only it felt more powerful. Closer, more real.

At that point I wasn't expecting anything to happen. Maybe Coach was lonely at the holidays and just wanted some company. If so, I was happy to give it.

Then I felt his hand on my shoulder. "Let me just get by you a sec," he said. He reached up over my shoulder and hung an ornament in a bare spot. And just as quickly his hand left.

I wouldn't think anything of it, only two minutes later, he repeated the action. I paused and savored the grip of his hand on my shoulder as he placed the ornament.

My heart was pounding now. I waited a few more minutes, feeling this strange energy in the room. I really didn't want to misread things, but something was up. As Coach reached over and put a ball on a branch, I stepped beside him, almost behind him and put my hand on the middle of his back. Coach Stanley had one hell of a strong back, I could tell, and up close I could smell his aftershave.

"Mind if I get in here, Coach?" I asked, reaching up to the top. I had a good four inches of height on him.

As soon as I placed the ball, my eyes dropped level again and I saw those mesmerizing blue eyes. Quietly expectant.

I gently massaged that spot in his back, through the T-shirt and leaned in.

Coach's lips were soft, almost chapped, but they parted and I felt the tip of his tongue graze my own lips. As I parted them, our mouths connected fully in a kiss.

In my imagination of how this evening would go down, nothing compared to the thrill of that kiss. I was a young guy still, just 21, and I was realizing then that none of the guys I'd been with really knew how to kiss. Not like this.

Stanley's look was all serious when we finally broke for air. My heart was racing and I just sensed his was, too.

"You OK with this, Russ?" he asked softly. "I usually don't do anything like this."

I ran my fingers along the small of his back. I may not have had Coach's kissing skills, but I enjoyed being physical and handsy-flirty when I hooked up with a guy. It was something I learned from a frat boy I sorta-kinda dated and now something I consciously worked on.

Coach seemed to like it, and I could see his nostrils flare as my fingertips slid under the hem of his shirt to touch his bare flesh.

"More than OK with it, Coach," I grinned. Just being close to him I could tell how solid his body was, and that was turning me the fuck on. But I noticed Coach S wasn't making much move to touch me or feel my body. "More to the point... are you OK with it?"

He cocked me a little grin. "Yeah, Russ... it's just... part of me thinks I shouldn't be doing this."

"I'm not gonna blab to anyone, Coach," I said. "Promise." I ran my fingers up higher along his lats. Rock hard solid muscle that was more dense than bulky. I could tell the man was gonna give me new workout goals, already. "Come on... I want this so bad."

That made him smile. "I want you, too, Russ," he whispered, getting that serious look on his face again. And I was now getting my second Ed Stanley kiss, almost better than the first. And the man's hands were now on my waist, openly feeling me up as he pulled me into his body.

We made out, right in his living room, right in front of the Christmas tree, and our hands moved from gentle exploration gradually into groping. It was like we were copying each other's moves, and one-upping them.

The look on Coach S's face when he pulled back was adorable. I could see a crazy amount of lust but also the desire to fight it.

"I like to take things slow, Russ," he said as his blue eyes swept up my taller form.

"Works for me, Coach," I muttered, my voice cracking with lust. I mean, my normal MO would have been to go hard and heavy with a dude like this. But I didn't want to see the impatient young guy I really was.

He cracked a smile. "How bout some make out time in the bedroom?"

I nodded and followed him. The master bedroom was somehow even barer than the living room of Coach Stanley's house. But it smelled like Coach's aftershave and the scent hit me like pheromones as I watched the man pull the covers down and get up on the bed, still in his stocking feet and clothes.

Normally, I'd be stripping down, ready to get it on, but I followed Coach's lead and kicked off my shoes before joining him.

"Thanks for coming over, Russ," Coach said softly after a kiss.

My hands were on his chest. I was doing my very best to be a good boy and not grope the man too much but fuck he felt nice. I'd hooked up with some hot guys before, but Stanley was probably the hottest I'd scored. And the fact that I had some lingering high school fantasies added to the thrill. I was rock hard in my jeans as we lay on our sides, face to face.

"Not how I was expecting my evening to play out, Coach," I said. "This is a fantasy come true, to be honest."

He chuckled softly and ran his fingers along my flank. "It's Ed, Russ," he said. "You can call me Ed."

"All right, Ed," I said. "But I'm probably still gonna think of you as Coach."

He shook his head gently. Maybe mildly bothered by the fucking with his former student thing, but owning up to the dynamic. "Probably to be expected." Then he added, "You really better not fucking tell anyone, Russ." It was the first time I'd heard my former teacher swear, but the gruff tone was in gest, even if I knew Stanley had real anxiety about what we were doing.

"For real, Ed.... whatever happens stays between us." I took a deep breath and felt my heart pound. I was not good at doing the patient approach. "I know you wanna take it slow, Coach, but you make me so fucking horny."

That made the man laugh. "All right, buddy," he grinned. He pulled back and kind of sat up. I watched him pull his T-shirt off over his head.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" I gasped, my thought going straight from my head to my lips. Coach's body was just incredible. Meaty and thick, but also in shape, even with knotted abs. He had a lot of brown fur on his chest, swirling over his round pecs capped with thick brown-pink nipples. And to top it off that gold chain clung around his neck.

"What?" he reacted with a laugh.

"You, that's what," I said. "That body is insane." I normally didn't verbalize my reactions to men when I hooked up. Then again, normally with my hook ups both men would have gotten off by now and be getting dressed to go our own ways.

Stanley seemed pleased with my compliment. "You're looking in fine form, too, Russ... come on, show me what you got."

I felt inadequate but I wanted to get the party going, so I stripped my shirt off, and raised the ante by undoing my jeans and pulling them down over my legs.

Already, Ed's hands were on my semi-naked body, feeling me up. Seems that Mr. Take it Slow was getting horny himself.

"Damn, Russ, you're not one of those Corbin Fisher guys, are you?" he teased.

I was eating his praise and his touch, too. After I kicked off my jeans I spread my legs to show off the hardon in my boxer briefs. I wasn't porn hung, but I measured up pretty well against most guys I'd been with, and I was certainly rock hard right then.

"You watch that stuff, Coach?" I laughed.

"I won't lie, Russ. That stuff's gotten me through some pretty lonely nights." His blue eyes met mine directly, communicating not only his desire but his vulnerability. For some reason, that made my cock twitch.

"No need for porn tonight, Ed," I replied. Then with an impish smile, I added, "Unless you wanna have it on."

He shook his head with a laugh. "No. No porn." He took his hands off my biceps and reached down to undo his jeans.

I swear my breath stopped as I watched him peel them down. I swear I don't know how and why I didn't realize that Ed Stanley had gone commando. As the jeans slipped down, I saw the thick brown hair of his lower belly, then a solid erection eager to poke out.

Coach was of average length. Totally average, yet thicker than normal. His cock was girthy and beautiful and seemed to fit him.

But his attention was on me, and as he scooted up back close to me he ran his fingers along the waistband of my underwear. "May I?" he asked.

"Oh yeah," I replied. Like a kid unwrapping a present he peeled them off over my boner and then jerked them down my legs. My prick stood up and jerked in excitement.

"That's a nice tool, ya got, Russ," he growled. He stared at my cock then looked up to my face again. "You definitely could be in one of those Corbin Fisher videos." His fist wrapped around my hard meat and almost instantly his palm was smearing my pre cum down the shaft with its regular strokes.

I touched his dick, now, too, feeling like I had permission. He hissed, and I watched his face react as I did my best to adjust my touch and approach. "You into college dudes, Ed?" I asked. Maybe it was nosy or forward to ask. Coach wasn't old or anything, I'd guess mid 30s, but he seemed very much into my collegiate body.

He nodded. "If I'm honest with myself... yeah. I guess I think and wonder what if I'd done stuff back then."

I felt back for Coach S and also weirdly protective of the man. I let go of his dick and held up my arm. "Come here, Coach," I muttered.

He took the invitation and scooted into my embrace, nestling his warm furry body against mine. For a man in his early 30s, Ed Stanley was as hairy as a man in his late 40s. I wrapped my arm around his back and he held me in a similar grip. We humped our hard dicks together, slowly, but didn't really escalate the sex. Not yet. Ed just rested his head in the crook of my neck and held on to me.

"Feels nice, buddy," he said. Then, nervously, "you must think I'm a mess."

I patted his back. It was incredible how solid his lats were. "Not all, Coach... Ed..." I heard him laugh. "It bother you that I'm still calling you 'Coach'?" I asked. "Old habits and all."

Stanley pulled back. Up close his face seemed less youthful but he was even more handsome. I tried to memorize the soft lines in his rough-skinned face and the close trim of his beard. "It's probably not making me feel less like an old pervert, but it's all good, Russ."

He'd asked me to take things slow and we were just in this quiet emotional moment. Which is why I was surprised by the sudden move Coach made to roll me onto my back, with him on top of me. He was 5'11" and shorter than me but he easily weighed as much. I loved feeling every bound of his hard body on top of mine.

We kissed, and Ed was no longer doing the soft, gentle kiss. It was more the hard sexual kissing I was used to. Coming from this man, it drove me wild. Roughly he thrust into my crotch with his. I never was into frottage, and this wasn't gonna get me off. But as foreplay I fricking loved it. Feeling Coach S's athletic ex-jock body on top of mine, working up his own sexual heat to match mine as we sucked each other's tongues and then took turns plunging in and out of our mouths with them.

This whole evening had been unexpected and had played out with surprising ease. Only I realized I didn't know Coach Stanley's deal. On the apps, you know from the get go what the guy is looking for. I didn't know if Coach was a top or even if he was into fucking. For my part I was pretty vers and while anal was my favorite thing, giving or receiving, practicality mean that an oral hookup was more common.

The way Ed was putting his whole body into our intensely sexual make out made me half expect the man to kick my legs apart and ravage me. Instead he slowed his hips and paused, pulling back with a big fucking grin.

"Please tell me you suck dick, Russ," he hissed.

I chuckled. "Yeah, Coach."

That was all he needed to hear. Gone was the patient man. Instead he quickly scooted up and lined up his dripping cock to my lips. I mentally prepared myself, hoping Stanley wasn't the type to go into rough facefucking mode. I opened my lips and felt his prick press past them.

Thankfully after Coach pushed in three solid inches, he let me do the work. I didn't have a great angle or a lot of room for move my head back and forth, but that was OK. Stanley didn't need a pro blowjob, it turns out. After a minute of my awkward bobs, I felt his quads tense and his voice get real strained.

"That's it, Russ..." he hissed. His sexy masculine voice now needy. "Right fucking there, buddy.... so close... Yeah, keep sucking! Oh god, oh fuck... UNGH!"

His cum was hot and the load thick. The angle made it shoot against the roof of my mouth so it was a half second before I tasted him. He was salty and sweet and I was instantly hooked. I swallowed that ejaculation and moved my mouth back and forth, adding suction to coax out a few more jets. Other than the my sorta frat-guy boyfriend and a 20-something dude I went out with for a few months, I didn't have much relationship experience. And in my one-off hookups, my dick size meant I was more often then not being serviced orally. But damn, I loved this feeling of a man cumming in my mouth and down my throat. Particularly because it was Coach S.

He finally pulled back, a huge smile on his face. "Thank you," he muttered and patted my cheek. Then, he said, "your turn."

I watched as he quickly scooted down to get on all fours between my legs. I had been so focused on blowing him, I almost forgot how eager I was to get off myself. Coach was reminding me now, the way he licked up my boner, one side then the other.

Maybe Coach was closeted, I don't know. But the man knew how to suck cock. He had a good technique as he took me into my mouth and started working me up and and down. But the most amazing thing was his enthusiasm. Even though he'd already gotten his rocks off, the man was so clearly into this. Into sucking dick. My dick.

I watched him and enjoyed him, not overly urgent in my need to cum.

But, fuck, I felt Ed's fingers nudge my ball, and the urgency hit me. I thought of trying to hold back but I worried I'd mess up a perfectly great orgasm.

"Coach!" I hissed. "I'm gonna cum.... oh SHiT!"

I could hear Ed gulp as I pulsed my seed into his mouth. Then on my second spurt, he let out a deep, excited moan.

I leaned my head back and just enjoyed every wave of pleasure that coursed through me. I could get used to Ed Stanley's skills, for sure.

Finally, the man relinquished my prick and gently kissed up my belly and chest. I felt a little ticklish after the intense cum, which made him laugh softly.

"Thank you, Russ," he said, now raising his weight above mine, our soft dicks pressed together but our torsos not touching.

"Man... you're the one that's letting me live out my high school fantasies."

I could see him wince a little at that but he just nodded. "Well, I'm glad." He gingerly scooted off to the side, resting on the bed beside me. "I'll be honest, Russ... I don't know the etiquette in these situations."

"What do you mean, Coach?" I asked, turning toward him and running my fingers through the hair on his chest. I wanted to memorize the look and feel of this man.

He seemed shy now. "Sometimes guys seem to want to split once they get their nut. And sometimes they seem mad if I don't ask them to stay."

"I've done both, Ed," I assured him.

That seemed to relax him. "Well, you wanna stay for a bit? Maybe we can light the tree, enjoy some egg nog?"

I nodded, a smile on my face. "Yeah," I said.

That made him happy, I could tell. It seemed strange a man as hot as this could be so lonely, but I was happy to be his stand-in boyfriend or whatever for the evening.

We kissed some and then got up to get dressed again. As we padded back into his living room, I had to ask, "So... there been a lot of guys for you?" Maybe it was a sore point, but I figured if Ed wanted to some quality time, we could talk man-to-man.

He shrugged. "About ten. About half of those in the last year," he explained. "I guess I'm still figuring some stuff out."

I nodded, sympathetic. I had a different journey than Coach, but I understood some of what he was going through. "Well, I'm real glad I ran into you, Ed."

He smiled. "I'm glad too, Russ."

[creedslove]

OMG BESTIE YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT.

i had this dream where me, Joel and Ellie were in Jackson and him and I were together after years of surviving and then (I still don't know how) I switched to the no-outbreak time where Sarah is alive and Joel is in his 40's. We didn't knew each other and I accidently bumped into him while walking with my daughter Ellie (at that point I'm in tears) and we look at each other and I have this deja vu and he seems to have it too! We don't say anything, just smile at each other and then I wake up. (I hope it makes sense 😭)

I wish Joel was real. (especially with his silver hair and southern accent that makes my knees buckle)

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

A/N: omg bestie you got me screaming and crying and throwing up honestly! This dream is amazing and it sort of reminds me of X-Men Days of Future Past in which Wolverine needs to go back in time to save the mutants and prevent the extinction of mutants and humans! I like this idea so I turned into a headcanon adapting to the no mutation tlou reality hehehehe

• Joel thought the dreams he was having were beyond explanation at how weird they really were; every single night he would wake up in cold sweat, panting and wondering what the hell was going on with him

• his dream was always the same: he would dream about a world that had ended and for some reason he had survived, where monstrous creatures that seemed a mix of humans and some kind of fungus had wiped most of civilization and the world as he knew; in the dream Joel was a low life, a depressed, lonely and hard guy who had lost the will of living right after his daughter got killed and that was enough for Joel to snap wake and immediately tiptoe to her bedroom, just to watch her sleep and make sure she was alright and her bedroom was still pink and full of butterflies and not some ruin of what things used to be

• it puzzled Joel, because he had no idea where that was coming from; he wasn't one to watch zombie or horror stuff, reading books was definitely not his cup of tea and he seriously couldn't understand why kids like Sarah obsessed over watching TikToks, so he thought he didn't actually have the creativity for that

• maybe he'd eaten one of Tommy's suspicious brownies by accident?! It could be a possibility, but his brother was extra careful with these since Sarah was around

• still, it didn't matter the reason why Joel had those disturbing dreams, but the frequency they were happening, and not only that: he very often saw people he knew from his everyday life in the dream as well

• such as his former girlfriend Tess, his brother Tommy and his girl Maria, he recalls seeing those two kids who lived down the street from him... Henry and Sam, he recognized them from Sarah's school, the older brother making ends meet and always having to attend parent - teacher conferences and the little one being the gifted student his daughter told him about

• even that nut job from the other block, Kathleen showed up every once in a while, Bill and Frank, and several other friends and acquaintances Joel had met through his life and the city

• but from all the crazy shit his, what baffled him the most was that you and your daughter Ellie featured in his dream as well; he knew Ellie was a firecracker from all the school meetings he'd attended, which honestly amused him. He thought she was pretty strong and smart and it always made him chuckle when she put a boy back into his place

• but it was so confusing to him that he almost had a fatherly bond with her, at the same time he had a relationship with you. Joel had always found you attractive and he very often kept in the back of his mind his desire of asking you out, but he never went through it, and yet, in his apocalyptic dreams you were going strong, it was just odd

• Joel kept thinking of those dreams for a few days, he even considered seeing a shrink after Sarah told him he should do it, but being a stubborn Miller the way he was, he just shrugged it off and eventually, his sleep went back to normal and he got too caught up with work to pay attention to things like that

• it was only one weekend where he was taking a walk around the neighborhood with Sarah, he ended up running into you, smiling and waving gently, he felt his heart skip a beat, thinking of your apocalyptic romance and thinking of how crazy it would be to miss something he never really had

• when you saw your neighbor Joel waving and smiling from across the street, you immediately reciprocate, he was handsome and you would be lying if you said you didn't have the slightest crush on him, but he would think you were crazy if he ever found out you had the craziest dream about him, in which you both had to survive in an apocalyptic world while being a couple 🥴

____

[melanieph321]

Ruben Dias x Reader - Not Ready Part 7/12

Emmy wears Ruben's jersey for good luck in this one.

So cute. 😭😭❤️❤️

Part 8 and Part 9 are out on my Patreon!

Readers sister dies in a tragic car accident, leaving reader and her boyfriend Ruben in the urgent custody of her niece and nephew. Readers' life is suddenly flipped upside-down since having children hadn't been the plan for her and Ruben's life together. At least not now, when his football career was reaching great new heights.

Enjoy! 💞

What kind of gift was worth losing your life over? 

Liza's package on your desk stared back at you throughout the working week. You left it there as a problem for someone else to deal with and not you, because your biggest fear would be opening the package and coming to find out that Liza's car swirled off the road in the middle of a storm in the pursuit for something worthless like shoes. Or that scarf you once told her that you fancied.

"Hey, you okay?" Laleh poked her head into your office before calling it a day herself. She caught you staring into the ether yet again, with your eyebrows furrowed in a matter of concentration.

"Huh?"

"You're doing that thing again with your face. Is everything alright?"

"Oh, I...." You shook out of your trans, heat flushing your cheeks. "I'm all good."

"Are you?" She stepped into your office. "Like I said, if you need someone to open up the package Liza's husband sent you, I'll happily volunteer."

You smiled, perhaps the first time that day. "I appreciate it L, but I'll bring myself to open it sooner or later. Besides, it wasn't Liza's husband who sent it to me..." You recalled that he wanted nothing to do with it. "It was actually the post office, sending the package to the closest relative of the original recipient."

"I see."

"Yeah." 

"Have you been getting a lot of those?"

"What?" 

Laleh shrugged her shoulders. "I dunno, memos and emails from Liza's former payouts?"

"No, not really. My parents were the ones to close her bank accounts and likewise. I suspect Liza's husband was the one getting notifications for her former subscriptions. It must have been really hard for him dealing with that."

"How is he holding up....in rehab?"

"Good." You nodded, but left out the fact that you often called him to give an update on the kids' life. Although he didn't say much during your brief talks, you knew that deep down those calls meant everything to him, a light in the dark tunnel that his soul had been shoved into following the death of his wife, your sister.

"Tell you what." Laleh shirped, having enough of the sad stuff just as she was clocking out from work. "How about I pull some strings and get us two seats for a pedicure this afternoon?"

"Can't make it. Football tryouts."

"Who's football tryouts?" 

"Emmy." You beamed. "I'm picking her and Vale up after school and taking them straight to Man City's training grounds."

"No way, is Ruben going to be there as well?"

"I hope so, but I'm not sure about his training schedule."

"Y/N, that's amazing, I'm so happy for Em."

"Yeah, so am I. Hopefully, she's not as nervous as I am."

"Nervous? What for? Wasn't Liza a football talent when she was young?"

You nodded, the memories of attending your sister's weekly fixtures flooding your heart. "Ruben says Emmy has got a good chance of making the team. All she's gotta do is show for it."

"Well then, I'll be rooting for her from the comfort of my salon chair. Don't forget to text me right after the tryouts."

"I will. I promise."

"Alright then, I'll see you."

"See you tomorrow."

You left work in a hurry to pick up the kids. However, on your way to pick up Vale you were approached by one of his primary teachers, Mrs Jones, who expressed her heartfelt concerns about Vale's "condition" as she carefully referred to it as.

"I assure you, Mrs Jones, Vale has not gone mute. All he needs is time, and he'll be back to speaking just like the other children."

Mrs Jones did not seem the slightest convinced and held you back an additional few minutes to inform you about an after-school program at the community center for children with traumatic upbringings.

"My ass." You mumbled and balled up the flier you had been given. Tossing it over your shoulder in the parking lot.

"Auntie Y/N, are we going to be late?" Emmy asked as you rushed her and Vale out of school towards your car. "Possibly. Most likely." You replied. Honesty was really important to you. You would never lie to your niece and nephew. Not when solemnly relied on you for guidance in life.

"I don't want us to be late." Emmy pouted. 

You popped your head through the passenger door, fumbling for Vale's seat belt and then Emmy's. "We won't be, I promise." You leaned forward, pressing a swift kiss to her cheek. "Now, did you remember to put on your lucky shirt?"

"Yes." She mumbled.

"Good." You smiled. "I'm sure it'll bring you luck today during tryouts."

"You think so?"

"I know so, baby." You gave her cheek one last squeeze before shutting the door to the backseat of your car. 

You had your way of hiding it, but just like Emmy, you were quite nervous about the afternoon. Nevertheless, you had to go through with it. For Liza. She would've been so proud to have Emmy follow her footsteps, despite it being for the Manchester City Academy.

Read full chapter and more on my Patreon

[azrielgreen]

random question, but why Nebraska? I live in the US and often forget Nebraska even exists, but you happen to have two stories set there. Do you have a connection to Nebraska, or did you just choose a state at random in the middle of the country? Or do you find something poetic about the expansive nothingness of the Cornhusker state?

just curious.

So, it's really strange but Nebraska holds a deep emotional meaning in my heart that involves Ethel Cain, Billy Hargrove and 'Rooms'. Apologies for the little ramble ahead, but for those who enjoy such things, gather round.

When I first started writing Rooms, I was experiencing a lot of burnout, very much questioning myself as a writer and also recovering still from a near death experience. I had made a new friend who became such an important and beautiful part of my life, and it was in this time of loss, self-doubt and awakening that I felt comfortable enough to share with my new friend that I loved the character Billy Hargrove. This sounds so stupid even as I'm writing it now, but I had been made to feel that liking him was this extremely taboo thing and that I should be ashamed of it. Even a former friend I thought I was close with often made me feel terrible for liking him. My new friend was not like that. We talked for hours and hours about the things we liked, and I felt brave enough to admit that of all the characters, every single one, in ST, Billy is my favourite. My friend was kind and open and supportive and it was here, around this time that we started writing a story together that would later become Prism and coming up with all these incredible ideas and perspectives I had never considered. Although people credit me with much of Prism Eddie's creation and expansion, always remember it is @thorniest-rose who invented him.

This is when I wrote Rooms.

This is also the time I discovered Ethel fucking Cain.

A House in Nebraska and Sun Bleached Flies altered my DNA and I listened to them both back to back on a loop while writing Rooms. It became something so meaningful and personal and beautiful, and all three are tangled up together. Inextricable connections between these things I love so much and at the heart of it all, is Nebraska. I've never been to Nebraska, but I imagine it to be exactly as you said. The great, vast nothingness, the absence of any significant pull to visit or tour there. It's sort of branded into me, the line about 'I'm still praying for that house in Nebraska, by the highway on the edge of town,' and it's all tangled up with Billy Hargrove and the possibilities of an abused kid making good, coming through the other side, learning and growing. Longing for this quiet, no man's land of blue skies and endless horizon. I would often dream of such things myself. Just a house. Somewhere I was safe. And I wrote all this at a time when I met someone I came to love and care about so much in mutual support and kindness, and it's why Rooms is gifted to her.

Opening yourself up to new things is such a beautiful and important phenomenon, especially when you're grieving or recovering. Rooms to me is a touchstone of reassurance that I can write whatever the fuck I want and anyone who tries to tell me different is not my friend. Nebraska has become an almost nebulous place in my mind and heart, to the point I get excited when I hear anyone even mention it in passing. I think we put meaning where we need to, anthropomorphising and humanising and telling stories to get through the hard parts of life. Nebraska is the core of that for me. Synonymous with self-acceptance, growth, positive change, releasing what doesn't serve, embracing who you are, saying fuck you to those who would police your joy and creating whatever the fuck you want without needing it to be liked, but also this deeply sad part of myself that acknowledges what I went through as a child and what I experienced at the hands of people who were supposed to take care of me. I have at this point in my life lost a huge amount of my childhood memories all the way up to my late twenties. Nebraska is the long distance friend I never had, the moon watching over me, the place I go to in my mind to make it all go quiet and calm. I feel like I've written this huge story around a place I've never been to and for some reason, it just stuck hard.

Like many British kids growing up watching America on our screens, I always wanted to live there and although I'm now glad I don't, I'll always be in love with the country and all her patchwork quilt states, these weird little lands sewn together that are so different, almost like a world unto itself. I never choose a state randomly, but Nebraska is laden with meaning and woven with feeling, all of which I'm sure seems massively unearned as I'm just another person who grew up in a rainy country, longing for blue skies, with a tendency to love abandoned things.

Thank you for asking.

All my love, Az

💜💜💜

[roseworth]

forgot to actually say this in the ask but the idea of jason being his favorite for a time but specifically when he's dead... yeah. spending time away from fanon jason stans really does make you love him more because that would not have made me feel anything a while ago but that's so good. and makes so much sense but is very sad.

of course bruce was unable to stop thinking about jason when he was gone! and of course that love would be entirely unrecognizable to jason when he comes back! jason was isolated even alive! and besides their differing--viewpoints, jason has changed from the child that spent so much time mourning, and is doing things that bruce would find hard to see from anyone, and they're always standing opposite each other anyway so how could bruce, never very gifted in the emotions department in the first place, ever communicate how much jason means to him with all of that? and also there's the part where jason IS going around and murdering people, it would probably be a little hard for anyone to forgive of their kid, let alone bruce.

i'm probably getting mind of incoherent but i just. it is so very clear that bruce and jason care about each other, and it doesn't help their relationship at all because they're stuck like this forever. i LOVE when relationships are like this, ships for example where they never get together but they're in love forever are the best kind, and i always wish more people were just obsessed with that kind of. - emotional stranding? - in other kinds of relationships. maybe i'm looking in the wrong places and that's why i'm not finding other people who like this idk

but that's what makes me so obsessed with bruce, he's not even my favorite character but basically every single one of his important relationships is stuck like this. his kids his wife (talia❤️) his dad. he has an entirely different type of crazy with every single one of those people but the main thing those relationships have in common is that they encourage a lot of growth in each other at the beginning, and then life gets in the way or they grow past each other or miscommunicate themselves out of their former closeness. sorry to ramble at you for so long but what you said about jason and bruce turned me into an animal. i've been a sleeper agent this whole time apparently. stuck trying to think about his individual relationships with his other children now, all at the same time. you did this to me

(original post) hi im so sorry i know i said i would answer this like a week ago but i Forgot. but im here now <3

first of all HARD agree with what you said about loving relationships where both of them care about each other but cant make anything work despite it. its all about the love being there but it doesnt change anything and the way two people care about each other deeply and it changes everything about the dynamic but nothing about the circumstances. its so so good. youre so right that bruce is such a good character for this dynamic because his core beliefs and motivations are so important to him as a character that if he eases up on them even a little he becomes a completely different person, and it means that every relationship he has is strained because he cant waver on the beliefs that make him who he is

anyways. i want to talk about why i believe jason was the favorite child after he died but first i want to talk about dick. to me dick is and always will be bruce's favorite son. but not in a good way

ive heard some people say that jason was the favorite son while he was robin and thats a fine headcanon but i simply do not agree! i understand where people are coming from since bruce & dick had a very strained relationship at that time, meanwhile jason was just a happy and polite kid who liked being robin and didnt have many issues until starlin. but bruce & dick have such a specific relationship that even when they werent talking, dick was still bruce's favorite. bruce held dick in such high regard in his head that jason could never meet the standard, even though bruce rarely (outwardly) compared the two of them. bruce was projecting so much onto dick (in a way that he did to cass later on, which ill get back to in a sec) that jason could never meet the version of dick that existed in bruce's head. even the real dick instead of the idealized dick that bruce had made was better than jason to bruce because bruce had completely adopted the "my son's success is my success" mindset (which isnt necessarily a bad thing! in this case i would say that this is one of bruce's parenting wins) so he was proud of dick and watched him grow into what bruce was hoping he would (a successful, independent hero) even though they werent talking

not to mention! bruce explicitly tells dick that he brought in jason to fill the hole in his life left by dick (the dick hole. hehe) i dont like the idea that jason was constantly being compared to dick because thats not entirely true because bruce rarely openly brought up dick around jason, but he definitely was doing it in his head. he wanted jason to be dick, but he wasnt the Evil Father that some people try to make him out to be. he just adopted jason to have someone in his life like dick was, and he wanted jason to be what dick was to him even though he couldnt replicate the relationship he had with dick because it was so dependent on where each of them were in their lives when they met and became Batman and Robin. and bruce confirms that in batman #416 that he adopted jason because he missed dick and needed someone else in his life

anyways back to jason. i do believe that jason was briefly the favorite while he was dead. i love this post saying that one of bruce's favorite children is jason's corpse because its so fucking real

im gonna get off topic for a second but i swear i have a point. in the play buried child by sam shepard, the mom (halie) constantly talks about her dead son ansel and talks about how he was an american hero, an athlete, and many other amazing things. hes the representation of the american dream in the play, but hes dead, showing the disillusionment of the family. but halie is constantly bringing him up and shes convinced that he was the perfect son and he would've made her proud, unlike her other sons who disappointed her. and her sons keep trying to correct her about who ansel was because she would get things wrong, like how shes convinced ansel played basketball even though he never did, but she refused to listen because he was the Golden Child in her mind and she had a perfect image of him when she looked back on his life, because he was dead and now had never disappointed her

now. you can probably see where im going with this. bruce wasnt as bad as halie but i do think that the idea is the same. since jason was dead, it was a lot easier to think about all the good things and imagine how good it could've been if jason was there. even the "he wouldnt listen" line in that screenshot ^ is the same idea! if the dead son had only listened to his parent's warning, he would still be alive and it would be fine! its a lot easier for bruce to think about jason when he's dead because jason cant disappoint him when hes dead. and he doesnt have to worry about the things that bruce doesnt like to do, such as deal with emotions, and can just create this perfect version of robin jason where he was happy and a great hero and there were never and never could be any issues! if only he had listened!

if im being honest theres a lot of canon evidence against this theory. but canon evidence is stupid and im better than that! kidding but the thing is that there was so much difference in how bruce talked about jason every time he was brought up that its hard to exactly pinpoint how anyone felt, so i am simply cherrypicking canon to create my favorite narrative <3

bruce thinks of jason as what he could've been because he only exists in good memories and a glass case when hes dead, and bruce genuinely does not want jason to come back to life. every time jason "came back" before under the red hood, bruce was upset about it. he wanted jason to stay dead because he wanted jason to be able to rest. but also? bruce would rather jason be dead than come back as a villain. he would rather jason live in his memories as the perfect son than be alive and fighting against him. in batman #618, clayface pretends to be jason and bruce is (somewhat) thankful that its not actually jason, because he would rather jason stay dead than be hush

so its safe to say jason very quickly stops being the favorite when he actually comes back to life. i could still believe that jason's corpse is one of bruce's favorites even after jason is alive because bruce still brings up jason's death and how it affected him, and he mourns what he used to have with jason before jason had his own morals and motivations

anyways. cass time <3

like you said in your original ask, a lot of people say that cass is bruce's favorite but its a lot more complicated than that because especially at first, bruce sees her as less of a daughter than an extension of himself but in a different way than dick. when bruce looks at dick, hes kind of like a batman appendage. they are different people and bruce understands that and usually nurtures that to help dick. with cass on the other hand, he sees cass almost as a carbon copy of him so he gives her what he would've wanted at her age and treats her the way that he wanted to be treated. technically hes right that she also wants to be treated like that, but as we see over and over again in batgirl 2000, just because she wants it doesnt mean its good for her. hes not nurturing her as a daughter, hes nurturing her as a smaller version of himself. and again like you said in your ask, cass is too similar to him. they dont really get into fights because of it, but i think he hates himself too much to love cass that much

and the thing is. bruce has an idea of cass in his head that isnt real. he sees her as himself and whenever he hears something that could change that image, he pretends its not real. he refuses to believe that cass killed someone because HE wouldnt kill someone, so obviously cass didnt either. she cant possibly like being outside or talking to people because HE doesnt like that, and theyre the same person so babs must be forcing her to (which.. im not talking about babs and cass right now so i wont go into it but like. yeah she is). he created what he thinks cass is and what he thinks she should be, so anything that threatens that isnt real to him. if (*IF*) cass is the favorite child, its not actually cass. its the version of cass that he wishes was real (a lot like the version of jason's corpse that he wishes was real)

i love this panel from detective comics #790 because first of all its funny to me that bruce immediately tells cass to go to babs with any emotion or problem. but also it says so much about their relationship. bruce isnt there to be cass's father, he's there to be batman to her. hes not exactly neglecting her, but he definitely is not emotionally there for her (not that hes emotionally there for anyone else. but he certainly has no interest in listening to cass's feelings)

as time goes on he starts seeing her as a daughter and she sees him as a father, but even after he starts seeing her as a child she's still not his favorite. like i talked about before, bruce & dick just have such an intricate and specific relationship that no one can ever meet the same standard. even when bruce loves cass as a daughter, he's always going to care more about dick because seeing dick go through the same trauma as him then raising him to be different than him (but the same in the ways that matter to him) means so much more to him than anything he has with his other kids

so yeah. in conclusion dick is the favorite child but sometimes the ghost of jason or the projected version of cass can beat dick depending on his mood

[seokjinsonlyone]

Ari hi! This thought just came to me. You know those “this is what your bias says about you” yeah I think you should do that! Like I literally love your headcanons and takes on members so I think you’d kill this too! I know you’re a working woman, getting your bag and all so no rush with this or even if you didn’t want to, its all good! Lol

first of all THANK YOOOUUU crazy the amount of faith you have in me 🤪 it's funny bc when i first read this i was like i don't even know if i'm capable of that but then immediately after my lil brain started churning SO

this is what i think your bias says about you:

jin: chaotic and unserious; like really just be doing stuff just to do it; treats life like a social experiment probably; don’t take yourself or anything really too serious; but at the end of the day you handle your bidness; big proponent of rest and relaxation; got a rebellious spirit like you really just have a level of autonomy that you have to have like you bend where you can but if you can’t you don’t; you’re probably hot like even if you’re not physically you got that hot state of mind

yoongi: you got issues <333 like you’re probably mentally ill in one way or another; you probably have an rbf; you know exactly what you wanna do and you gonna make it happen one way or another like there’s just a tenacity about you that makes things work; you probably always late; you’re as soft as you are sharp like you got a big heart and you’re not afraid to show it but at the same time you not about to sit up there and be treated any kind of way; you probably always up to something be plotting and scheming sometimes it amounts to something 

hobi: you’re loud and energetic like there’s just something about you that screams rainbows and unicorns; probably a horse girl; chronically online; a little cringe but also very cool; you like to have a good time; a little air headed at times but also you always know what to do and not afraid to take charge; you have some kind of natural talent and are good/can get good at multiple other things; you probably have a good fashion sense and an affinity toward chunky shoes

joon: you’re kind like you’re always looking out for other people and willing to put their needs above your own; you’re an over thinker; you probably got a temper; there’s an obsessive side to you like sometimes you just can’t like things a normal amount; as mature and capable as you are you’re also like a little lost puppy like you’re probably a lawyer who gets off work and calls their mommy to get step by step instructions on how to make spaghetti; you probably out the house more than you in the house

jimin: you’re a hard worker; you have goals and you’re going to reach them no matter what; you like a sour patch kid like there’s a streak of evil within you but also you’re very sweet; you’re probably in a constant state of existential crises; lowkey intimidating; got that 1d syndrome like you don’t know you’re beautiful and that’s what makes you beautiful; despite being in the midst of modern society you probably don’t know what’s going on; former gifted kid

tae: you probably feel like you were born in the wrong generation; babygirl; you probably have a lot of guilty pleasures and struggle with a couple vices; you have a diverse music taste; hard headed; if you saw a shooting star you’d probably wish for either world peace or a stick of bubble gum there is no in between; you feel things very deeply; super creative; you just want everyone to be happy frfr; secretly a furry

jk: your head is in the clouds; probably a hopeless romantic; you had an alt phase complete with 6 layers of eyeliner and side swept bangs; you like things done in a sequential manner; you probably shut down when you’re frustrated; you have at least 3 niche interests like if i asked you could probably tell me the current active volcanoes and their most recent eruptions or something; you like sets and collections; you probably stay up late at night; you unabashedly enjoy pop music; hello kitty girl 

so like was i way off or what ���️👄👁️

[applesandbannas747]

Do you have any headcanons for the Exton fencing team? How about Halverton?

ooo thank you for the ask! I have fun thinking about these things!

Exton:

Their dorms have bunk beds and Jesse sleeps on the top bunk

Marcel and Jesse are best friends

Marcel is really kind but refined in a way that makes him intimidating so others can read him as cold/aloof

Marcel is the oldest one on the team

Marcel definitely rolled his eyes when Jesse was made captain as a freshman but just went with it because whatever

Jesse's a really good captain and was honestly deserving of the title even as a baby freshman lol

Jesse's friends with the twins but in a less personal way than with Marcel. And even Marcel, he's not entirely himself/open with

Jesse genuinely wants Seiji on the team because he wants him in his life, not because he wants Seiji's fencing on the team (and yeah he's willing to sacrifice a twin for that end)

Honestly? Marcel is 100% Jesse's type on paper lmfao but he's never had feelings for him or anything

obviously I hc that Jesse falls in love with Eugene <3 and that he is annoying about it to his friends

Also like Marcel/Aster, Thomas/Sungchul

Marcel has switch energy and I'm gonna say it

Aster likes gaming -- Thomas does too, but Thomas plays Animal Crossing and cozy games and gets bullied into other ones by Aster

Marcel is Jewish

Exton's a really good and functional team in every way and they're all good students too -- and are the princes of Exton (with Jesse of course being the most adored and princely XD)

Halverton:

Van has a large collection of squishmallows and he apologizes to them when one gets knocked off the bed

Van uses scrunchies and claw clips to put up his hair

Van's family owns the San Remo Ballroom Nick fences in with Joe -- his dad loves ballroom and his mom loves fencing and they are both distractable and leave projects halfway finished XD

Gian has no concept of how loud he is being and often speaks way too loud

Likewise, Gian is the big lumbering dog who thinks he fits in laps -- he doesn't realize his own size or strength a lot of the time

Gian and Van are roommates <3

Obviously Gian and Van are dating <33

Recently decided that Scott has a lazy eye (which for the record just means one eye is incredibly worse than the other, not that it necessarily wanders)

Courtesy of @internetbanality Scott's really into social nights with his team and drags them to movie nights, sleepovers, and lame parties/events. Definitely drags them to ComicCon regularly

Scott's a really brutal and pragmatic captain who prioritizes winning over friendships in the end

Scott's really efficient and no-nonsense

Scott is great at manipulating people's perceptions of him and plays up the nice act

Sungchul is gonna be one of those Former Gifted Kid Burnout adults

Old headcanons die hard so Sungchul and Thomas are dating XD

I feel like I've got more but can't think of them at the moment -- and I tried not to hijack the post to be entirely about Jesse and all the non-team related headcanons I have for him lmfao

[katiesautisms]

Hi I did the writing thing again >:)

This time, it's about Michael Afton reflecting on the bite of '83; I'm pretty proud of this one :]

TW's: child murder, blood

Also this one is just kinda upsetting in general, when I finished this one I felt bummed out for a good while

_______________💖💖💖________________

Waiting waiting waiting, it feels like I've been waiting here for an eternity in disassociation. The doctors won't even let me see him, only my father was allowed inside. I can hear only the mumbles of the adults and the occasional crying from my brother from out here.

It was supposed to be a prank, just a joke, sure he'd be the butt of it but....I never wanted this. I hope he knows I love him, and that I never meant to hurt him. What older sibling wouldn't want to mess with their younger sibling a little? Who wouldn't want to see them cry? To feel constantly afraid? To see them in a state of ungodly fear?

...I love him, I swear to god I do.

I will admit, I've had some resentment towards him for a while. My father wouldn't let my brother go with him to that restaurant he owns for some reason, so he made me take care of him everyday after school. Taking care of that little...kid was the last thing I wanted to do coming home from the hell that is sophomore year in highschool; so I decided that I wanted to have some fun with him.

He loved that restaurant my dad owns, Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, he had so much merchandise from there that his room felt like a museum dedicated to the place. It started when I took a foxy mask he wore for his first Halloween, I'd hide behind a part of the house and jump out to scare him. He'd cry every time, it was a little scary how I kind of enjoyed watching him bawl his eyes out, but my friends assured me it was completey normal. But then he had a birthday, it's today, it was supposed to be a day where he'd be the happiest he's ever been.

Interrupting my train of thought, my father walked out of the room with my little sister. They both sit down on a bench across from me. A painful silence stabbed all of us, occasionally being interrupted with my focus being turned towards my sister fidgeting with whatever she could find, before my heart gets stabbed again as I turn back to staring at my stained shoes.

"Michael..." said my father with a deep, exhausted, slightly angry tone.

I looked up at him, my biggest fear was that he'd say that he was disappointed in me, that I was a mistake, that he hated me.

"...nevermind, forget it." Somehow, the impact of those three, seemingly meaningless words made my fears seem so insignificant.

I went back to disassociating, trying to comprehend all that happened to keep myself from crying.

Me and my friends met up at the restaurant, none of us having the heavenly gift that is hindsight. This time, all four of us jumped out at my brother with different mask, each being a different character. We made fun of him for being afraid...I made fun of him for being afraid. Then I came up with an idea for a prank, the prank.

Two characters, a yellow bunny and a yellow bear, the ladder singing a song while the former played an instrument. I wanted to REALLY scare my brother by putting him up to the bear, right in his mouth.

All four of us carried him by his arms, his weak legs kicking us, not at all disturbing our walk. His screams being drowned out by our laughing. We got to the stage, right in front of the bear. We carried him closer and closer until we shoved his head in the animatronic mouth, its movements were jammed. Me and my friends were all laughing hysterically.

But then the bear bit down. Hard.

There was blood, so much blood. It covered the animatronic's head. My brother then went limp. We weren't laughing anymore. You couldn't even see his head, it was all red.

I stood there. Paralyzed, in what I thought at the time was fear, but it's only now I realize it was guilt. I was sorry. I am so, so sorry Evan.

People all around the restaurant were screaming at the sight, my family rushed to emergency room at the closest hospital we could find. Where I am right now.

I glance at my father again, rubbing both of his eyes with one hand while the other held his glasses. My sister hugged him tightly, burying her face in his shirt.

I can hear the heartbeat monitor they've hooked up to my brother.

"Beep. Beep. Beep."

The sound almost brings me to tears. I can't bare what I've done.

"Beep. Beep. Beep."

He's only nine years old, he just wanted to have a fun birthday party with his favorite characters. Trying to forget how a few days prior he was made fun of by every kid on the block for being a crybaby. That was my fault...

"Beep. Beep. Beep."

I start to tear up, which quickly turned into soft crying. I'm so sorry Evan, I know I'm a piece of shit brother, I know you deserve so much better, I know you're in so much pain.

"Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep."

BONUS:

Where... where am I?!

Why can't I see? It's so dark here.

Why can't I breath? What happened? I remember being really hurt and really scared for a few seconds, and then I wasn't hurt or scared anymore.

DAD?! ELIZABETH?! MICHAEL?! Why can't I scream??

I can hear though, I hear people talking about how someone was hurt, something about calling an ambulance. I don't know what's happening, but I hope whoever was hurt gets to feel better.

I can't move, I feel like there's something really heavy on my chest. Where's my dad? I want to go home....

...why can't I cry?

[theamityelf]

I know you said they were self-explanatory. But...do you think you could explain the appeal for you in the ships and friendships listed in the "Still Really Like" tier?

Sure, no problem!

Generally, the vibe is that these are the ships that I most like for him, within the constraints that the other person has to be an Ultimate. (Since Makoto and Hajime, the non-Ultimates, are already in the highest tier.) For the most part, I like him with characters who will go against the grain of his more unsavory convictions, because the part of me that is really bothered by his thing with Ultimates wants to see him recover from it. (It's the burnt out former gifted kid in me, I think. And that hyperlink is to a song of the same name. It's a good song.) But to break it down more specifically:

Komanami: I like their interactions in the game, and since I mentioned that I'm kind of unenthusiastic to ship Nagito with any Ultimates, Chiaki is up there because, of the Ultimates, she at least would really push back against a lot of his stuff regarding talent. They both like games, they both have surface-level mellow vibes, and I love the height difference. The fact that she's willing and able to politely ask him to stop doing what he's doing is nice. And I think he's someone who would gladly just let her sleep on him.

Komazumi: Similar to Chiaki, of all the Ultimates, Mahiru is (and sees herself as) pretty normal, and she has/had a reserve course best friend. There's enough in place for her to refute some of Nagito's stuff, and she's often assertive and considerate. She thought to bring him food when he was tied up. Her comment that he would make a good stay at home dad (or whatever it was) in SDR2 also helps. And I think the fact that Mahiru is someone who will readily admit to not being okay is good for him. Also, luck and photography can be an interesting combination.

Kamukoma: This is opposite vibes from Komanami and Komazumi, but Izuru and Nagito's very similar baggage can work well in a scenario where they're both trying to heal. Or be an absolute powder keg, in a scenario where they're not. I ship them both with Makoto more, but I do still ship them with each other. Partially because there's too much good fanart of them not to. And partially because, as I've mentioned in the past, I have a personal fondness for equilateral triangles.

Nagito x Chihiro: Okay, so here the ship answers the question of "If I saw Nagito do an out-of-the-box extreme gesture of devotion for someone, which character(s) would I be cool with having on the receiving end?" and also "Which character(s) could use a slightly over-enthusiastic pep talk?" (I think Nagito would really flourish if he gave someone a pep talk and they actually brightened up and got inspired. He dreams of that kind of win.)

Like Mahiru, Chihiro will just openly not be okay. Chihiro will openly cry. Chihiro will openly ask for advice. I think those things would be good for Nagito. But also, Chihiro wants to "become stronger", and I think having someone willing to go to misguided lengths to cheer them on and help them out would be a positive thing. Nagito would love an Ultimate with a specialized intellectual talent who wants to push themself past their current limits. Would they potentially be a bad influence on each other? Yes, but in a way I'd be interested to explore.

----

And now for the platonic:

Sonagito: This one is mainly because Sonia is one of the characters who doesn't seem to hate him, in SDR2. Her reactions to him are very focused on what behavior of his she dislikes, not disliking him as a person. And Nagito tries to stop Teruteru from harassing her and makes fun of Kazuichi when she rejects him. They have a cute thing going on, is what I'm saying.

I think there would be more here if she were only born a princess and not also hypercompetent at being a princess, speaking a bunch of languages, etc. If it was just "She was born with her station and that's enough to call her an Ultimate," then that could begin to pull a thread, but she's just genuinely excellent, which would only reinforce his belief in the concept of Ultimates, so that's one for the minus column, lol. Don't get me wrong, I love Sonia's skills for her character; just in the context of her being friends with Nagito, it doesn't advance what I would want it to. And that's fine.

Nagito & Taka: Their diametrically opposed ideologies provide exactly what I want out of any Nagito relationship. And Nagito's very particular vibe of "regular rule breaker who is highly respectful toward authority" would be cool with Taka's very particular vibe of "wants to be friends with everyone but also no running in the halls". They both have trouble coming across how they want to, with their peers, and they both have a kind of callous way of expressing themselves sometimes, and they're both highly principled in very different ways. It'd be fun to explore a friendship between them.

Nagito & Kyoko: They're both so smart, and they have such different vibes. (This isn't an actual part of the character analysis, but I'm thinking of the Danganronpa Abridged joke/moment where Kyoko goes "No. Shut up," when Leon tries to say something during the first trial of THH, and comparing it to the canon moment where Nagito just says a knowing "I see," when Gundham says something in the fourth trial of SDR2. Does that make sense?)

They just know stuff, and they're both sitting on it, Nagito with a smile and Kyoko with a stoic expression. They could both just silently absorb and process information and both know that the other has picked up on what they have picked up on without saying a word. And then, if they're working together, both use it to corner someone verbally. And if they're no working together, then they try to work around each other mentally and that's also very fun!

Honestly, I love the idea of Nagito smiling sunnily at Kyoko and Kyoko staring stone-faced back and they are best friends, and I also love the idea of Nagito smiling sunnily at Kyoko and Kyoko staring stone-faced back and they are enemies. But it's also cool if they're not quite either one but they just have an understanding of each other that most don't have. Or if they're both dating Makoto and they just get each other in an almost kind of tense way, maybe accepting, maybe even hostile, just any angle for those two could be so cool.

[clovercalloway]

We Best Love: Episode 1 [BLIND REACTION]

So, I have a girl friend who is fan of this show and finally convinced me to watch it. Did I make a mistake? Who knows.

But I collected my thoughts and decided to do this. Well, this is gonna be long so get ready. I'll edit with my afterthoughts (note, EAW means Edited After Watching [the episode]) once I'm finished with season 1, or maybe before. We'll see.

Ok, let's begin!

Welp, he's dead, Great start!

You sure this is a romance? This looks more like an intervention.

So, Zhau Shu Yi. I'll guess he's the main character or one of the main characters. I'll try to remember his name [furiously takes notes]

The one gremlin with No Name is asking Zhau why they think it's important for him to win. As a Bakugou fan, I'm excited to hear his answer.

"I push myself forward, so that you can see me." Just one minute and it's already too ‎fluffy for my heart

So, they're fighting underwater. They saw too much anime, istg. Anygays, that tells me these are actual kids (well, the actors may be older, but I'll suppose they're interpreting kids. I bet they're highschoolers).

"LESSON 1: LET'S SUFFOCATE." Okay, wow, great title. So maybe my joke about him being dead wasn't that far off.

Chilhood friends to lovers is such a nice trope, oml, go for it, boy. Be a man and go get your man!

Fang Zhen Wen and Jiang Yu Xin. Hope I remember that. Are those the other two friends?

Me, trying to be smooth

He has a fan club

You gals are fans of a swimmer. What did you expect? You were gonna run out of things to offer him eventually.

So he's Zhou Shu Yi. [keeps taking notes] I'll try to remember that.

Bro, how did he fell? You're supposed to be a pro, Zhou, your gals will be dissapointed.

He sounds way to chill for someone who's almost drowning.

NO YOU'RE NOT????

"How are they talking underwater?" "It's the rainbow connection, don't question it."

My Shojo Academia

Gao Shi De is me receiving gifts (socks and a mug) on Christmas

Anygays, Gao Shi De and Zhou Shu Yi seem to have this kind of rivalry since they were basically on diapers. They came out of the womb wanting to throw hands with each other.

But Gao Shi De seems to be the naturally gifted, always on top, and so Zhou Shu Yi developed some sort of inferiority complex, or so it looks like. (Wow, this reminds me of yet ANOTHER story and ️‍🌈 ship that started in a similar way -if you know, you know-)

"Why did you fall-" THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING, LIKE, WHY

Are you telling me that the actual reason he fell was because of the big gay panic- I mean, rivalry, that he has against Shi De?

OMG HE CUT HIS FINGER! I've seen enough shojo (and shonen) to know what this means. Where's Shi De to kiss it better?

You're not Shi De.

"I'm not crying." He's so Bakugou, istg

Now he's blaming his misfortunes on Gao Shi De. Bruh, the only thing he did was exist.

Oh, so they're in university? Nice to know.

His friends are trying to understand his language, I feel them, literally had no idea what he was talking about other than "Gao Shi De".

I was gonna say they seem like good kids and very supportive friends. The latter is truth. The former...

This poor unfortunate soul keeps falling for their tricks. Gao Shi De it's not that dumb, tho.

Oh gods, he plays the piano, he knows what them girls (and boys) like.

So after having a whole ass "Corpse Bride" moment they went back to bickering

They should make out, ngl. [EAW: Bruh...]

Gay people can't just ask someone out, they have to be very extra about it. Shu Yi is an example of that.

He's been bullying Shi De since they were kids, he's oblivious af.

Boy, just confess, it'll save you and your friends' time.

I want to know his name, he's such a mood.

While Shu Yi can't stop thinking about Shi De, important things are happening.

That girl from the beginning [EAW: Yu Xin, her name is Yu Xin, you big disaster] is asking Fang Zhen Wen out and he's all (,,>﹏<,,)

At least she's honest, nothing more important than THAT.

Shu Yi heard about the proposal and went all fake-smile on them and then left.

"Is Shu Yi OK?" Idk, girl, you tell me, I thought you three were friends.

They're telling him is dangerous to run down the stairs. I think he'll live, but I won't forgive him for dropping his backpack on the floor. Bro, get your stuff.

He's gonna start singing Beat on It.

Annnnnd he went back to the pool. Man, this is were it all started. The flashbacks from episode 1- oh wait.

He's actually making me feel bad, ngl. Maybe it's the acting, or that I understand the whole "why not me" situation. Mitski taught me well.

It's hard. Friendships and relationships are messy, specially when someone is still young. You also have to deal with a lot of feelings being even more irrational than they should, and the inferiority complex definitely doesn't help, making you feel so insecure about yourself, and as if no matter what you're always going to lack something.

I might barely know them but at the end of the day it's no one's fault, really. You can't control how you feel, or how others feel.

MOOOOOVING ON. You know who could help? HEY, SHI DE!

[EAW: He actually came, that mf]

Wait, is he actually? Bruh, did he jumped on the pool?

Why are teens like this. He could've just dropped the collar. Him and his dramatic gay ass.

Speaking of dramatic gay asses.

My guy, this is episode 1, couldn't you just wait until... episode 4, at least?

Dont give me that bs about cpr. The surface was RIGHT THERE!

AND THAT'S THE END OF EPISODE 1. I kinda wanna know if he'll give him the lame excuse about cpr.

I'm dying for more tension, Yu Xin knows what I'm talking about, she also has to finish her thesis.

So, that went quicker than I thought. It was compelling tho. I still need more to form solid opinions, but I´ll bite, I'm interested to know how this develops.

Anyways, whoever reading this (cough cough, bossman), see ya later. I'll watch episode 2 after this.

[thedawningofthehour]

Since Shredder and the Krang Invasion don't happen in your story, have you though about incorporating some version of those fight scenes in the fanfic, like Draxum or Galois/Donnie facing off against the Hamatos while using the Shredder/Krang Prime's dialogues? I can imagine the absolute horror/inner turmoil Leo would face if Galois was attacking him and the rest of their family while saying the Krang leader's words if they succeed in offing Draxum. It could even be a fanfic.

I kind of already did that? In the last chapter, (I could barf, it's still the last chapter, Leo's still on top of that freaking roof) some of Draxum's dialogue is lifted directly from Krang Prime. Maybe it was more obvious in the drafts? I basically reversed the entire conversation at one point and cut a lot of Draxum's name-calling, so the allusions might have gotten lost. Him calling Leo 'little pest' is a direct reference to Krang Prime after Leo locked them in the Prison Dimension together, and his whole thing about Galois being better off with him than as Donnie is supposed to be reminiscent of Prime's 'I am a gift' speech.

Does the Shredder even talk much during their big fight? I know he talked to the Foot husbands and Draxum, but during the big flashy fight sequence? I'd have to rewatch the finale. And I generally don't rewatch finales much because it makes me sad lol. (especially when it was cut before its time like Rise was) Incorporating elements of the fight itself, that would be very difficult for a few reasons. One is just the change in media-animation and print are very different mediums and what's entertaining to watch is not necessarily going to be entertaining to read a play-by-play of, and vice versa. A second is that Rise depends heavily on a lot of fantastical elements, and the characters do a lot of shit that should not be physically possible to do. So far, I've been mostly portraying fantastical elements as realistic as possible. I mean, I can certainly try to incorporate some of that in the fic, but that leads into my third reason-I'm not that good at writing fight scenes. I intentionally focus more on the dialogue and emotional aspects to draw attention away from the fact that I suck at it.

In general, I try not to repeat canon dialogue too much and that's something that turns me off when reading other people's fanfics. If I wanted to watch the show, I'd watch the show-I want to see how your fic differs from the canon material. There are exceptions, of course-in my Dishonored fic I had to reuse in-game dialogue very often, because so much of Dishonored is creeping around watching people talk and do stuff, and that familiar dialogue gave readers an anchor in where we were while the protagonist is busy being emo and piling whale meat into his mouth. But even then, I tried to change up the dialogue whenever I could to reflect the differences in the AU from canon. Like, for instance, there's a scene in the vanilla game where a guard and a prostitute are talking about how the city has gone to shit since the empress died, and it kind of trails off into small talk because neither had much more than a passing fondness for the empress. In my AU, the empress was a former street kid who was revealed to be the bastard daughter of the emperor and she focused her rule on reducing poverty and improving the lives of even the poorest of her citizens. It devolves into an argument with another guard insulting her origins and the original guard and prostitute defending her because she was viewed as almost a saint among the commoners.

Oh, but...I'm not going to spoil it, but the main climax of the story-I think you guys are gonna go feral. It's not canon dialogue but you guys will definitely recognize it.

[tsuki-sennin]

(For some stupid reason, Tumblr refuses to show my reaction to last week's episode of Donbros on search results. However, it can be freely read here for your entertainment! We now return to your regularly scheduled brain melting.)

The greatest union of all time is about to occur. I have no further preamble, let's just fuckin' get right into it!

Spoilers, I guess...

-We're still far beyond your comprehension, huh Sononi?

-Awwww, Sonoi do a paint :)

-You did it :)

-"When the hell did I do that?"

-Sonoza's so proud of you Haruka :)

-God, I'm gonna miss this OP soon.

-Let's not dwell too much on the future though!

-Miho is not a gamer.

-Tsuyoshi certainly has an

-Interesting sense of what someone'd be interested in.

-"Yo, whaddup?"

-"We need Juto knowledge."

-"What are they, some kinda Super Sentai!?"

-"Haha, you really been spending a lot of time with your wife huh buddy? :)"

-Y'know Tsubasa, when Naoki Shiina freed you, the Juto that copied you didn't instantly die.

-I think that might be how they resolve the Natsumi/Miho/Crane Lady situation.

-Ooooooooh, that's right! Somebody's lying here.

-"You guys are noobs anyway."

-Ah, looks like Jirou's going home yet again.

-"I miss my girlfriend. Wanna meet her, Tarou-san? And my dad?"

-Tarou :D

-"Rumi cute <3"

-RUMI GONE

-OKAY

-THIS JUST GOT REAL CREEPY OUT OF NOWHERE

-"Ohhhhhhh, this guy's crazy." -Tsuyoshi Kijino, the absolute last person on Earth who should be saying this about somebody else's love life.

-Oh, here we go

-This HumaGear-looking dude must be this week's Hitotsu-ki.

-I think I've gotten way better about identifying Sentai references, so let's see if I get this one.

-Okay, I'm 100% sure those robots on the folder are Bioman-colored. Lines up with his boss looking like Doctor Man. Incidentally Bioman was a series Haim Saban previously considered adapting all the way back in 1986, a good few years before the original Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. It, naturally, didn't get off the ground at all (neither did an idea from Stan Lee to adapt Sun Vulcan), but was the origin of the character Alpha-5.

-And after that, you had the simply titled and completely Saban-univolved "Dynaman", which was basically an Abridged-series style gag dub that aired on the USA Network and Nickelodeon from late '87 to early '88. I've never seen this parody before, but I assume that, since it's late 80s Nickelodeon and they renamed Emperor Aton to "Bernie Tanaka", it would've been riotously funny at the time.

-"Chief! Am I your little pogchamp?"

-"Huh? Oh, yeah sure, whatever man."

-Poor man just wants some praise. Must be a former gifted kid.

-Looks like Miho decided to go on.

-Here comes Sononi!

-Kill her.

-"I don't wanna stab my fiance!"

-"Do it, bitch boy!"

-Ooooooooh, girl bringin' out the shade.

-"In the name of my beloved Natsumi, the black dog will chomp down on the crane!"

-"Awwww, how cute! The doggo thinks he's gonna kill me!"

-Ah, right immortal. Don Clan has an annoying tendency to make their stuff TOO strong.

-I have to wonder just what goes through Momoko Arata's head whenever she's brought in for InuBro scenes.

-Ooooooh, Sononi. Having thoughts?

-Oh shit, Tsubasa's throwing down!

-Murasameeee!

-Thing I learned yesterday. Murasame is, naturally, a reference to Nanso Satomi Hakkenden, which was the name of a sword with the power to control the waters. It'd make sense he'd naturally gravitate towards somebody named Inuzuka.

-Ooooooooh, somebody's dead!

-Oooooooh, nooo!

-Sononiiiiii!

-Hello, Tarou!

-"Humans are delicate little creatures. Same things that make them laugh, make them cry. Something that you'd never get."

-Thank you, Crane Lady, for your... somewhat twisted affection for our kind.

-Ohhhhhh noo, here comes the wife guy.

-"Sononi. What the fuck, man?"

-Well, that's messed up.

-Ah, yep, Sonoi and Sonoza are here.

-"Get out, nerd!"

-YO WHAT THE FUCK GUYS?

-She's your homegirl! Your bestie! Your sister! The one woman who isn't either completely horrified and/or enraptured by your presence!

-"The dog man..."

-Oooooh, Tsuyoshi's about to kill someone.

-Genuinely.

-Ohhhhhh, she's becoming a hell of a lot like the Don Clan, huh?

-Sonoi, honey, I think you're projecting a little.

-Yeah, I knew you can't do it.

-You boys :)

-That's it, let your hearts make the decision.

-Inuzuka Tsubasa did wound somebody's heart.

-"What the fuck do I do...?"

-Oniga Parking Garage.

-It's time for a duel to the death.

-Kijino's having a serious fit.

-I guess their identities haven't registered yet to each other.

-Jesus Christ, this should be completely stupid and asinine, and yet...

-Sononiiiiii!

-And she's down!

-Even Kijino's horrified.

-Ah yep, praise man. Right on cue.

-Companion time!

-Avatar Change!

-Matsuri-da!

-LET'S FUCKING GO!

-Holy shit, Tarou

-He said a nice thing :)

-Sononi :(

-Oooooooh, I recognize this set up.

-It's identical to how Yuka died at the beginning of Faiz.

-C'mon girl, don't slip.

-Noooooooooo :(

-Nooooo

-KAITO YOU GOTTA HELP US MAN

-He's almost completely back at square one.

-Fuck, man...

-Hello, Auntie Yuriko.

-What's up, Haruka? I only mentioned you once the whole episode!

-Bedtime?

-Inuzuka Tsubasa! He was with us all along!

-Wanchan! Pupper!

-We're takin' it outta town!

-The sight of our next grand battle! Quite possibly our grandest contest of strength yet!

-S

-SONOGO AND SONOROKU

-Oh, everybody's together! Right after Tsubasa said he never wanted to see Sononi again.

-Two villages!

-A whole squad of assholes all ready to pound down!

[mayra-quijotescx]

I know getting mad at buffoons on the internet is a wasted endeavor but I saw a twitter post today on the worse of the two socials media I frequent along the lines of 'when you invite a friend over and they're drinking from your coffee mug but you can't tell them that it's your mug because you'll sound like a sociopath so you just stand there watching them use your mug and hoping they'll drop dead.' Not even an exaggeration, hoping the friend dies was part of the original verbiage (which I'm not going to search back up.)

first of all: sociopathy is mostly one of those "Shitty Bitch Disorder" diagnoses that so-called experts (credentialed and armchair alike) give people to justify the mistreatment of the diagnosed by society at large. The word for someone who verbally addresses concerns and takes steps to resolve them is "problem-solver."

Conversely, the word for someone who can't utter a single request or clarification to a friend they've allowed into their kitchen, and embarks on a path of silently wishing death upon that friend instead, is "pathetic."

Now, let's talk strats!

BEFORE THE FRIEND COMES OVER: stash the precious somewhere no one but you is going to get to it. They can't grab the precious if the precious isn't in the kitchen cabinet to be grabbed. I know y'all watched Lord of the Rings because a lot of the people who make and share these kinds of Former Gifted Kid, Current Whiny Baby posts base an alarming amount of their personality on it, so you're really failing an open book/movie test here.

Let's say it's too late for stashing your mug because the friend is already over at your place.

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LETTING A GUEST SERVE THEMSELF IN YOUR KITCHEN IF YOU HAVE PARTICULARS ABOUT WHAT GETS USED IN THERE. I mean really, they're not inside your brain, they're not going to know what to use. They could ask you, yes, but that's a lot to expect of someone else if you'd rather put the eye on a friend in your own home than ask a simple request. So preclude questions entirely by offering to get them whatever they need and then getting it for them. You know, being a host??? I'm aware this isn't taught in school, but set aside your grievances against the US educational system and do a bit of research.

uhoh, while we were discussing that, the friend that you've been ignoring since they arrived got into your kitchen, opened the mug cabinet, and found the precious! Take a deep breath and repeat after me in as chill a tone of voice as you can manage:

"Hey, sorry, but I'd been hoping to use that mug, can I offer you a different one?"

And yeah, it is ultimately out of your hands whether they say yes or no, but you can factor their reaction to this simple request into your decisionmaking process re: future invites. What you're not going to do is seethe and wish death upon someone over a fucking mug, then tell the whole internet about it (including the friend, presumably?) like this gollumesque behavior is in any way cute or relatable.

[pirefyrelight]

if you get this, answer w/ three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs. anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog!

(feel free to ignore if this isn't your vibe!)

see, if you want facts about me ya gotta prompt the specific memories by saying something completely unrelated and then watching me to exposit in the notes but I'll do my best.

Recently discovered that knitting is fun actually. It's good on the autism and such. I probably would have gotten into it a lot sooner if it didn't have the stereotype of being an old granny activity or if anyone except the aunt I don't like tried pushing it on me when I just wasn't vibing with it.

2. The man who taught me English class for an entire fucking semester now works as a server at the place I linecook for and I didn't recognize him for months until he said something and honestly felt he was kind of a creep in that time like Why Are You Smiling At Me Like That until it was explained

2b. Anytime I think "I'm not faceblind I could tell those people apart" I am immediately accosted with the memory of the words "you know I never expected for a former student to let me into a rager"

3. At one of those little carnival archery ranges for kids I shot, by pure luck, a perfect bullseye and so pestered my parents into letting me shoot archery for real. I shot for a while but never went hunting properly. At one point I got a really cool bow rack as a gift tho and it's hanging in my living room.

[ugly-drizella]

celebrate the rejects! (voyd)

songs to play while you smash the system and burn the whole world down

@into-the-voyd

[listen here]

--

Tracklist and highlighted lyrics below <3

T-Rex

Celebrate the rejects (Hey, hey) Eviscerate the presets (Presets) Power is my thesis (Power, power) Crimson on my lips, when I smile I'm a T-Rex

Hey, yeah! I did start this playlist after I made the connection that Karen and Drakken were absolutely giving me Nimona-Ballister vibes. So, there’s a lot of songs from the Official Nimona Soundtrack on here… and you know what, it rules, so! Any song that starts with “celebrate the rejects!” is a Karen song for sure. 

Raise Your Glass

So raise your glass if you are wrong In all the right ways All my underdogs We will never be never be, anything but loud And nitty gritty dirty little freaks

So, I actually had “So What” on here at first, but then I realized, no! The P!nk song for Karen is “Raise Your Glass” which is all about celebrating the “dirty little freaks” and the people who don’t fit in! I think this is a very idealistic version of what Karen believes, ie celebrating the things that make us difference and the underdogs of society! Maybe this is where they started out before they got into Crime ™. 

Rebel Girl

When she walks, the revolution's comin' In her hips, there's revolution When she talks, I hear the revolution In her kiss, I taste the revolution

Please take this as a gender neutral version and accept it as the queer punk anthem that it’s supposed to be. I simply think that Karen would be jazzed with being described as someone with revolution in their hips. I need ten more words here so we’re going to pretend this sentence is relevant. 

Because I’m Awesome 

They say I'm gifted, uh huh Well I'm a certified prodigy I'm gonna own you, uh huh I'm gonna bring you to your knees

Another Nimona song! I really love this one. It’s such a bop, and I can see Karen confidently saying all of these things. I didn’t highlight this particular lyric, but there’s one line that lives rent free in my head forever that goes “I always tell you how great you smell // It's 'cause I'm naturally deodorized.” 

One Two Punch

I'm a hit, I'm a one-two punch A slam dunk kind of total rush I'm a hit, I'm a hit, I'm a one-two punch Here's the thing, this is open and shut There's no one like me, look it up I've got a song to blare and a reputation to keep up

And another Nimona song! Woo! Now we’re doing a bit of transition simply from #empowering #revolution #outcast songs into something more… concrete. Hitting and punching and actually breaking stuff in order to enact that change that they want for the world! Let’s go! Punch stuff woo! There’s no one like Karen!

You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid

Nice work you did You're gonna go far, kid

This just feels like something someone told Karen after their first MAFIA mission. They’re gonna go far. This is one of those songs that is so specifically about something (in this case… Lord of the Flies, did you know that???) that it’s actually incredibly universal and I feel like I can every character into either “You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid” or “You’re On Your Own, Kid.” Karen, obviously, is the former. 

Heads Will Roll

Off, off, off with your head Dance, dance dance til you're dead

We’re having fun! We’re promising violence, but mostly we’re having fun! Let’s go! I’m so sorry that we keep assigning 50 words per song for these things, sometimes it’s just pure vibes, you know? What else do I have to say than this is about violence but also a bop? 

Shinigami Eyes

Are you ready to die? Got my Shinigami eyes on Everything is fine Got my Shinigami eyes

This is about Death Note, which in case you are not familiar with, involves an edglord teen who decides he gets to decide who is worthy of living and dying and kills who he deems “bad” by writing their names in a book. I think, at least. Anyway — Karen would enjoy having the Death Note, let’s be real. 

Kill V. Maim

I got in a fight, I was indisposed I was in despite all the wicked prose But I'm only a man And I do what I can I got friends in high places, I get out for free I got in a fight but they don't know me 'Cause I'm only a man And I do what I can

Listen, I wasn’t a Grimes Enjoyer till I read her description of this song which was "Kill V. Maim" is written from the perspective of Al Pacino in The Godfather: Part II. Except he's a vampire who can switch gender and travel through space.” And then I was like, oh, okay! I get it! Anyway, that just seemed very Karen. 

There Will Be Blood 

When you're begging and on your knees That's when I get a sweet release You can't run from your destiny (there will be-) I've been dying to feel alive And your pain is my paradise So tonight, you gon' pay the price (there will be-)

Yeah! Violence! Fun! On the dance floor! In retrospect, maybe I could’ve also added Murder on the Dancefloor here, but maybe not! It’s here in spirit. Maybe as a bonus track with some of the second choice songs. Why the heck not? If you made it this far, it’s like the Taylor Swift hidden tracks or whatever. 

(Anyway, there’s five bonus tracks here! Have fun!)

[tibby]

tibby that gifted kid ask was weird and bitter.... i don't usually engage w the gifted kid discourse bc i was a gifted kid who got genuinely failed by the system and i think a lot of ppl don't realize that gifted kids are also children, often neurodivergent, who are neglected by the system because they're thought of as "better than" and as not needing to be taught. like the lack of being taught study skills when i was younger fucked me up As An Older Child as well as an adult, and the implication that having to teach myself everything because the school system decided that gifted kids don't need to learn the same skills as all others is somehow, like, a privilege, is weird. a lot of gifted programs don't even give the kids any special treatment besides telling them that they're supposed to be good at academics and less "coaching" (read: teaching learning skills) which fucks you up the second u do experience failure bc you were never actually learning and just good at memorization!!! some gifted kids are fucking weird though because they really do cling to the idea that being gifted makes them special and better than as opposed to understanding that they're basically just as neglected as most special ed kids just with positive traits inserted into their fixed mindset crash as opposed to negative ones. special ed kids and gifted kids are basically one and the same and it's weird that both sides have people that r super up their own ass about the label and how much better it makes them (but i guess growing up with fixed mindset thinking does that to a mf)

it was bitter because i AM sick and tired of the way so many "former gifted kids" act as if school was easy for everyone besides them and cling desperately to the label to justify their laziness and desire to put down everyone they deem as less intelligent. i am neurodivergent, i am mentally ill, i was placed in gifted programs as a child, the issues resulting from these combined factors made my life difficult right through getting my degree. 

i am also now aware that those programs were meaningless and whilst the education system absolutely let me and others down, we did not get it the worst. i have never claimed that ~former gifted kids~ don't struggle because of what school put them through, but i think the way so many of them act is incredibly arrogant and closeminded. clinging to that label and refusing to get help in whatever capacity you can and learn how to adjust to the world is childish. kids in special ed programs are often demeaned by staff and fellow students, and aren't always given access to the resources they need. students of colour and students from lower income households are less likely to be considered "gifted" and aren't going to be presented with the same opportunities as their white and wealthy classmates. 

i'm not saying you can't complain about how school fucked you over, but i AM saying that any ~former gifted kid~ who constantly centres themselves in discussions about the education system, who refuses to criticise any aspect of it, who insist that these programs should continue to exist but only for the Really Special Ones, like them, and who act as if everyone in the world is a moron who doesn't understand how important they are and should just KNOW they're a super smart wonderful gifted genius....is a selfish asshole. and i'm not going to apologise to any adult who has that mindset. because people like that DON'T care about the kids being fucked over by the system. they care about themselves and would rather pin their missed opportunities on somewhere else rather than grow from those experiences.