#i'm not saying i've never reblogged a post that said will with a gun in s5 in the summer but even then i distinctly remember saying (as in

[yellowharrington]

wildflower and barley -- joel miller x reader

pairing + fandom: joel miller x reader, the last of us (hbo)

word count: 5k+ oops

warnings/notes: smut smut smut!!! minors DNI, 18+!!! no outbreak!au. age gap (it's implied reader is in her 20s while joel is 45) and mentions of joel being kinda perverted and liking it lol. drinking (both reader and joel, not excessive), use of a dating app like tinder but not specified, unprotected PIV w creampie and oral (m+f receiving), do not fuck your tinder hookups without protection i'm just horny and gross. excessive use of darlin' as a nickname. implied that reader likes men. she/her pronouns used, afab!reader (with mentions of body parts), no use of y/n. if i missed anything lmk!

a/n: heavily inspired by this post by @yesttoheaven about joel's tinder profile!! it has been rotting my brain since i saw it which literally inspired me to write my first fic in the tlou fandom ever so please be gentle with me. i imagined show!joel because i've never played the game so do with that what you will. please reblog and leave comments if u enjoy it <3333

divider by @cafekitsune

summary: after deciding to change your age range on a dating app in hope of a change of scenery, you stumble across joel miller.

No one likes using dating apps.

Swiping left, left, left mindlessly at troves of men holding fish, showing off their trucks, or with deer heads mounted to the walls behind their selfies holding guns.

This was Texas, after all.

Having just moved here, it was a little shocking, to say the least. But you were getting used to the “eligible” bachelors that were your age generally looking and acting the same. When you did end up finding someone of interest, you were usually turned off pretty quickly by whatever shitty pick-up line they had chosen. Or, your personal favourite, “wanna fuck?”

No thanks.

It was an idyllic summer evening, the hot stuffy air of Austin flowing in through your windows. You laid in bed, propped up on the pillows against your headboard and sorting through the faces that adorned your screen. No one particularly interesting, as usual, and every profile was starting to melt together to look the same.

You sighed, looking into your settings, adjusting and increasing different metrics to hopefully change the pool just enough for there to be someone new or interesting. 

Age range: 25-30

Your eyebrow cocked as you looked onto the screen, pulling the slider more to the right experimentally. No one was here to see you, and even though it was slightly embarassing to be interested in older men, you’d be lying if you said it didn’t pique your interest to imagine it. Even just to try, and see, if they ever really did grow up. You imagined it was wishful thinking, but increased the range anyways.

Age range: 35-45

Feeling the need to throw your phone across the room after doing that, you placed it face down under your pillow and slid out of bed. No use in swiping through them now, and you were getting tired of looking. A pint of Ben and Jerry’s and a new episode of your favourite show was waiting for you downstairs.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

Joel Miller does not use dating apps.

He barely knows how to send a text on his phone, let alone navigate the world of online women. Not to say he didn’t explore the options, so to speak, but they usually were not ones that were single, his age, and in his area. Unless the ads on those sites were real, that is.

“It’s starting to get sad,” Sarah had remarked at breakfast, when they got on the topic, and Joel feigned hurt. Hand over his heart, he dropped his fork onto the plate. “It’s not sad, Jesus. I’m just busy, is all.”

“Busy not gettin’ busy,” Sarah remarked, and Joel’s eyes widened. “Hey now! None of that.”

A blush spread up his cheeks and ears as they continued to eat breakfast in slightly awkward silence, before Joel took his plate to the sink. “Okay, off to school, you. And no more conversations about my dating life. Ever.”

Sarah laughed as she finished off the last of the juice in her glass. “I’m just saying, dad. You can if you want to. Might be nice for you.”

Joel planted a soft kiss to her head before she bounded out the door, rolling his eyes and calling out a ‘love you’ before she closed the door swiftly behind her. Joel stared at his cell phone on the table. Maybe it would be nice.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

The following evening, you were a little too excited to see the dating app specimens you had acquired. Not sure what to expect, really, and you went in with no expectations. It’s not like they’d magically all be tall, dark, and handsome, but some variety never killed anybody.

Paul, 41

Daddy, but not yours. No libs allowed. 6’ because that matters.

You sighed deeply. Some things never change. 

After swiping through much of what you were used to, a profile managed to catch your eye among the sea of disappointment.

Joel, 45

Just a Southern gentleman trying this out for the first time. Contractor of over 10 years. I love my daughter, BBQ, strong coffee, and sleeping in. 

Now that was the most interesting thing you’d seen in a while.

He didn’t look a day over 40. His eyes creased at the corners when he smiled wide in his photos. He looked tan, a product of the Texas heat and his job, you thought. His features were accompanied by salt-and-pepper facial hair and messy curls that looked soft and pliable. His photos showed off his physique incredibly, tight wash-worn t-shirts pulling over his arms and shoulders, looking big, broad. He was no doubt the most handsome man you’d seen on an app, maybe ever.

When you swiped right before you could think too hard, you were surprised to see the green “Match!” Flash across your screen.

Your fingers ghosted over the keyboard on your phone, thinking of a witty thing to say, probably for too long.

Your phone buzzed as you saw a notification pop up.

Joel has sent you a message.

Hey, darlin’. How are ya?

You felt your face warm at the sweet message, when was the last time someone had called you darlin’? Ever?

Hey cowboy. I’m great, how are you?

He was certainly an eager responder, taking only a few seconds to reply. You found yourself smiling down at your phone screen.

Cowboy… I like that. I’m better now that I’m talking to you.

Oh, Joel, who told you to say that? 😂

No good?

Not bad. 6/10. 

Only 6/10? I’ll work on it. I like to think I’m better in person. 

I would love to find out. 

You found yourself emboldened by how easy the conversation was flowing. Joel was certainly easy to talk to, easier than the other matches you had going for you, and infinitely more handsome.

Oh, would you? Alright. I’d love to take you to dinner sometime. If you don’t mind being seen with an old man such as myself in public. Or meeting a stranger from the internet.

He’s a very handsome stranger. I would love to go to dinner with you. Know any good spots? I’m new around here.

There’s a great barbecue spot in downtown Austin. If you’d prefer something fancier, let me know.

I love bbq. Just tell me where and when, cowboy.

Tomorrow, 7pm ok?

You sent him your phone number in the message. Fuck it.

Sounds great. Text me the address, I’ll be there. :)

Joel’s reply didn’t come. Instead, a text appeared at the top of your screen with an unknown number. 

It’s Joel. This the right number?

Yup. You found me.

Great. Talk tomorrow sweetheart. Looking forward to it. :)

He texted you the address of the restaurant, right before you opened the contact card, saving his name as “cowboy ♡”.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

Cowboy. Cowboy. Cowboy. It was playing over in his head like a broken fuckin’ record. 

Joel was positively freaking out about this date.

Sarah had managed to secure a sleepover at her friend’s place, so the house would be empty for the night. He had been busying himself with cleaning the entirety of the house, even taking the time to mow the grass before work and vacuum the family room. He can’t remember the last time he vacuumed anywhere.

Would she even make it back here? How does this work? Will she want to sleep over or hang out on the couch or should he be making a dessert for after?

His mind was brought out of it’s craze by Sarah jumping down the stairs. She plopped her bag down on the freshly wiped countertop.

“Careful,” he warned, putting a hand up. “I just cleaned that off.”

“I can tell. It smells like the cleaning aisle threw up in here.”

He smirked before patting her head with his hand, as she aggressively smoothed out her hair. “Dad! Don’t!”

“When do you wanna go to Ellie’s?” He asked, more gaging how long he has left to get ready than actually asking.

“Probably soon. Why? Tryna get rid of me?” she poked her dad in the side, but when she flinched away instead, a large smile spread across her face. He was tense.

“What’s your deal?” Joel hated the way she knew him so well sometimes.

“Nothing.“

“Are you going on a date?”

Silence fell over the kitchen between the two of them, as Joel’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “How did you know?”

“Oh my god, you actually took my advice,” Sarah laughed, watching her dad’s face burn red with embarrassment. “Just don’t do anything weird on communal surfaces, please.”

Joel shook his head at her suggestion, already becoming annoyed with the whole prospect. He was so nervous, about what to wear, how to act, what the expectation was… let alone, what would happen if they made it back to his place at all. 

Although, when he was able to shake his nerves for a second, he was just really fucking excited.

“Wear those dark jeans, and that green shirt you wore to Tommy’s last week. Looks good on you.” Sarah smiled as she put her arms around Joel’s middle, while his worries melted away with her touch. “She’ll love you, I promise.”

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

It had been such a long time since you’d been on a proper date, you were starting to lose your mind at the simple process of deciding what to wear.

Clothes were strewn across every surface of your apartment, shoes matching with jeans that matched with cardigans, tops that matched with belts and jackets.

It’s 87 degrees at 5 o’clock, idiot. You’re not wearing a jacket. Relax.

Exhausted of picking out outfits and making decisions, you collapsed on your couch and took a look at your options. You landed on an easy sundress, putting the rest of your clothes back in their respective drawers, and pulling out all of the products you were expecting to use to get ready.

You scrolled through your phone aimlessly as a notification bubble popped up on the screen.

We still on for tonight darlin’? Or did you change your mind?

No worries if you did. I respect that.

You let out a cackle at the message, thinking about how he must look right now. Was he nervous? Scared? Was he just looking for a controversially young fuck?

You weren’t… completely against that.

Didn’t change my mind, wouldn’t in a million years :)

Meet you there. Can’t wait to see you.

His eagerness to meet up would’ve been a red flag if it were any other run of the mill guy, but something about Joel felt special. There didn’t seem to be any funny business with him; too sincere to try anything other than just a good old fashioned date.

You too, cowboy.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

When Joel showed up at the restaurant, he clenched a small bouquet of pink peonies in his right hand and checked his watch obsessively. The minutes ticked away, as he kept a high alert for anyone who could be his potential date. He knew what you looked like, of course, but this being his first time doing anything of this sort is making him hyperaware of anything going awry.

When he does lay eyes on you, his whole gaze softens. A pink sundress, hair pristinely styled and a bounce in your step that reminded him of summer. You looked like an angel, the sunset behind you painting the sky tangerine, which reflected off of the shine against your supple skin. So young, beautiful, it was taking his breath away.

“Joel?”

Your voice matched your sweet demeanour, and he was taken out of his waking daydream.

“Hi,” is all he can say, letting his breath out as he relaxed. “Yes, hi, sorry. I’m Joel.”

“Hi,” you laugh back, eyes darting to the flowers in his hand. They matched your dress.

“These are for you,” he gets the hint, extending his arm out, and you can see the veins bulging in his forearm. He looked so much stronger in person, it was making your knees go weak.

“Thank you, wow,” you held them up to your nose to smell the sweet aroma. “I love peonies.”

“Me too,” he smiled, showing off a string of pearly white teeth, that contrasted with the pink of his lips and the even tan of his skin.

“Shall we?” He extended his arm to you for you to grab onto, and you got to feel the warmth of his skin for yourself. Your hand wrapped around his forearm as he opened the door of the restaurant for you, leading you inside and catching a glimpse of the backs of your thighs as you walked in front of him.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

When you were finally sitting, the conversation flowed easily. He was truly a Southern gentleman, like he had said. It wasn’t normal for you to open up so quickly, but Joel was so easy going and smart, he asked the right questions and knew when to listen. He knew how to listen, a warm gaze and a nod along, asking follow up questions to your answers and easily getting to know you.

You asked about his daughter, his family, his work. He was happy to tell you. 

“So, what’s a man like you doing being single in this city?” You take a sip of the wine in the glass in front of you, burgundy staining your bottom lip. 

He takes a bite of the food in front of him, a napkin pressing to his lips quickly after. “Been busy,” he started to say, honey brown eyes meeting yours for a second. His gaze sent an electrifying pulse down your spine.

“And, well, when Sarah’s mom left there was a ton to do,” he says it nonchalantly, as if that should be something normal to happen. “House, work, school, she keeps my hands full. Hasn’t been a lot of time.” His syrupy drawl is pulling you in, you’re enticed by the way he speaks to you. So easy, warm, soft. You wonder what his hands feel like on your body, lips pressed to your neck, torso pressed against yours.

“Sorry, that’s a lot of information for a first date,” he laughs to cover the awkwardness, and quietly curses himself for going into so much detail about his precarious family situation and basically admitting to you that he hasn’t fucked anything other than his hand in the last 5 or so years.

“No, it’s okay,” you slide your hand across the table, palm up, urging him to slot his hand into it. He takes it, easily, enveloping yours. His fingers find the pulse point on your wrist. You let your eyes drift up to his, drinking in the way his chest fills out the shirt he chose.

“What’s your story?” He asks earnestly, giving your hand a squeeze. “Can’t imagine there isn’t a long line of people outside waiting to take my place, darlin’.”

You blush furiously at the nickname, and let your eyes meet his once again. “You have no idea the… mess that is out there,” the wine is calling your name to take another sip at the mere thought, but you refrain. “Certainly not too many I am interested in.”

“So, is that why you’re on a date with an old man on a beautiful summer night in Austin?”

You could tell Joel, in a twisted way, liked that you were younger than him. It made him feel younger by admission, that you’d want to spend time with him. 

“You’re not that much older,” you laugh, not even believing it yourself as the words left your lips. “And I like to try new things. Don’t you like trying new things, sometimes?”

It was his turn to let his face go red at your insinuation. If only you knew how ‘new’ this really was for him, how much he was pushed out of his comfort zone right now.

You didn’t notice. 

A little more polite small talk and exchanging of stories was all you could take before the tension was becoming too much. After another glass of wine and a shared plate of sky-high chocolate cake for dessert, you were enjoying his company and could tell he was enjoying yours all the same. When you met his gaze again, hands still intertwined, you could tell there was a question on the tip of his tongue.

“Would you want to…“ - a nervous pause, with a halo of lust - “come back to mine for a nightcap? I’ve got an empty house this evening.”

You couldn’t help but smirk, knowing in your heart that Joel must’ve made arrangements for his family not to be home in anticipation. He had to have planned for you, known in his heart you’d say yes.

“I’d love that.”

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

Joel’s home is unmistakably him. It smells like a pine candle that sits near the front door and a faint aroma of laundry detergent. There’s photos everywhere, him and his daughter, his brother’s family. Big windows were letting in the twinkling lights of the city outside, the inky sky making them look brighter against its canvas.

“You have a beautiful home,” you say, although it seems a little formal for the situation. What else do you say to a grown-up in their house?

“Thank you,” he takes a bottle of whiskey from the bar cart and pours two rock glasses, handing you one. He flicks on a lamp, ambient light filling the room and painting his skin amber orange, as he joins your side by his kitchen table.

“I did a lot of the construction myself, the decorations are my daughter.” He points lazily to the trinkets on the shelves and photos on the wall. “I don’t really have a good eye for that type of stuff.” 

You take a sip from the drink and it coats your throat, burning down as you suppress a cough at the taste. You nod along as he explains the design choices he made in the home, and you play along, knowing it’s likely out of anxiety.

“What about upstairs?”

Your eyes are innocent as they meet his, although you understand the implication you’re making whole-heartedly. He puts his glass down on the kitchen table and you follow his lead, his strong hand around your wrist as he leads you up the stairs wordlessly.

“It’s not anything,” - he clears his throat - “special,” he shows you around the second floor, finishing at the door of his bedroom that has been left slightly ajar. 

You step in quietly, leading him inside as you take in the bedroom. Neatly folded clothes, a made bed that looks well loved. Blue sheets and fluffy pillows, big bay windows that let the moonlight in.

“I think it’s nice,” you say simply, letting yourself turn around to meet his broad frame. He looks down at you slightly, eyes meeting yours as your hand drops from his grasp and snakes around his neck. His hands come up the sides of your dress, pulling it up slightly, but landing on your waist.

“Is this okay?” He asks tentatively in the dark of the room, his lips so close to yours already you can practically taste the whiskey on his lips for yourself. You answer him by pressing your tentative lips to his, slotting them together easily.

Joel’s grip on your waist tightens momentarily as he takes you in, pulling you as close as he possibly can. He can smell the perfume on your neck and the wine on your lips from earlier, and it’s making his need for you increase tenfold. 

You pull him into you as you stumble back to let your knees hit his mattress, sitting down and letting your hands come to his belt buckle. Your hands came to undo it as he pulled his t-shirt off to throw onto the floor beside him, bending down to help you pull the dress over your shoulders to meet his t-shirt.

You made quick work of his jeans, pushing them to the ground and looking up at him with a keen glance. You could see the breath making his belly rise and fall, anticipating your touch on him any second.

When your hand wrapped around the base of his cock, his breath hitched and his head rolled back. He was already half-hard only from kissing you, so a few pumps made him easily ready for your mouth.

“You’re so big,” is all you can think to say, head spinning from the sheer size of him right in front of your face. Your mouth watered at the way his hand palmed through your hair, pulling you in closer to him for some relief.

It was intoxicating to him, the way your mouth fit around his cock. Such a beautiful sight to see, your head licking and sucking at his tip, gathering spit there to lubricate him. His knees were going weak as he watched intently, no thought able to cross his mind, other than maybe how long it had been since he’d had anyone to do this with. He was going to have to pace himself if it was all like this.

Your mouth constrained around the length of him, taking him deeper and deeper with every bob of your head. Filthy sounds were filling the room now, of your eager mouth pulling him in as best you could. His hand stayed steady at the back of your head, not pushing, just softly pressed there for support. His other hand found your shoulder, pushing down your bra strap.

“God, darlin’,” was all he could choke out, using his hand to pull you off of him. Your hand lazily stroked him as you looked up at him, spit collecting at the corners of your mouth. “I’m not gonna last long if you keep doin’ that,” his laugh eased some of the tension in the room, as you took your other hand and wiped the spit away.

He leaned down, pressing a fervent kiss to your lips before using his own hands to unclasp your bra and let your breasts free. His lips traveled to the side of your neck, before he was kneeled down between your legs, sucking your nipple into his mouth. He lapped at you, all consuming, as his hand came up to grasp the other breast that wasn’t being serviced. He moaned at the noises you were making, lewd whines into the night air that only encouraged him. 

His lips made their way down your body to your clothed centre, your back against his soft sheets. You looked down at him intently, watching as he pulled your panties down your legs and immediately delved into your pussy with broad strokes of his tongue.

Your body jerked upwards at the contact, hand fisting the sheet beside you as he lapped at you, like a man starved. His expert tongue found your clit easily, sucking and licking at you for what felt like hours. You thought about his heavy cock between his legs, begging to be touched, hard as ever as he licked at you desperately.

“Joel,” you whined out, feeling your hand reach down to grab at his curls and push him deeper into you. That only made him moan, one hand lazily fisting his cock as the other came up to dip a finger into you, allowing you to see stars when you screwed your eyes shut.

His fingers were so large, pressed into your core as you fucked yourself on them and his tongue in tandem. He was groaning and grunting, and you hoped his neighbours couldn’t see into the window at the desperate filth that was going on in his bedroom.

“Fuck, Joel, please,” you begged, but he had no mercy, and your orgasm was creeping up on you. He was ready to watch you come undone, pushing a second finger into you and furiously sucking on your clit. His other hand left his own pleasure and wrapped around your breast, pressing and playing with the hard nub there, pinching to provide a little bit of sting to it. It was sending you into another dimension.

“Come for me, sweetheart,” and his voice is gravely and debauched, enough to send you into your first orgasm, chanting his name and pulling on his hair. He was happily licking at you, fingers still pressing in and out as to not mess up the rhythm, as you rode out your orgasm against his face. 

When you started to come down, he finally detached himself from you before standing up between your legs and pressing his broad palms to your thighs. He stayed there for a moment, cock still hard and heavy between his legs as you gazed up at him, out of breath from his work.

“You’re really good at that,” was all you could think to say, head clouded with arousal. You moved up on the bed a little, opening your legs and pressing your knees apart to show your pussy to him again.

“Please fuck me, Joel,” you breathe out, letting your hand find your own clit to rub it teasingly for him. It was still so sensitive, but the way he was looking down at you, eyes dark and stormy with need, you could almost come again just from that.

He put a knee down on the bed and crawled on top of you, his lips finding yours once again as your hands found his face. You held him there, savouring the kiss as his tongue crashed against yours, all warmth and spit and the taste of you. His hand found your breast and continued to play with your nipples, softly, coaxing more moans into his mouth from yours.

He leaned back and slipped his cock inside of you, filling you up immediately and making you gasp. He groaned into the side of your neck, tonguing the side of your ear and kissing you feverishly as he pumped in and out of you.

Your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him impossibly close, your moans filling the room as he rocked in and out of you. He kissed your jaw and chest, before reaching down between your bodies and pressing his thick finger to your clit again, using the wetness there to draw circles around your sensitive nub.

“So pretty,” he smiles into your neck, your hand on the back of his, playing with the now-sweaty strands of hair on the nape. “So pretty for me, taking my cock,” the dirty talking is welcome as he continues to bring you closer to a second orgasm, your breath hitching once again.

“Come inside of me,” you say it like a whisper, a secret in the stillness of the room, and Joel is unsure he even heard you correctly.

“Are you sure?” He says it not accusingly, but in a way that conveys he feels like he just won the lottery.

“Yes, please, fill me up.”

You can see the way his eyes darken more, shifting so he’s on his knees and using your body to fuck himself on his thick cock. His hand continued to play with your clit, bringing you so close to your orgasm that tears pricked at the corners of your eyes. His cheeks were getting hot as he thrusted in and out furiously, and you could almost see the stress melt off of his face as he came close to his own undoing.

The white-hot feeling washes over you once again, eyes shutting before you’re back on your elbows and watching intently. Your whole body feels like it’s on fire as his thrusts become sloppy, your name pouring out of his lips like a prayer. You’re clenching around him and letting him ride out his high alongside you, slowing after his hot cum coats your walls and leaves you full of him.

He collapses on top of you, cock softening inside as you both catch your breath together. Your chests are sticky with sweat as you breathe, taking in the smell of him, and the feel of his warmth on your body.

He pulls himself from you and flops beside you, still taking a moment to admire you. You look over at him, a lazy smile on your face as your hand reaches out to caress the skin of his chest. He takes the time to run his fingertips up your arms and back as you lay there in silence together, just soaking in the moment in a post-sex glow.

“I guess I should get going,” you say after a few beats, sitting up to grab your dress off the floor. You cringe at the thought of throwing your underwear on and leaving, this being just another random hookup for you that never lead to anything. Joel was sweet.

A confused look spreads across his features and his brows knit together, before sitting up next to you at the edge of the bed.

“I mean, I don’t know how these things usually go,” he laughs, as his hand finds your lower back. “But you don’t gotta run outta here like a scared animal or somethin’.”

You look up at him again, unsure of what to do next. In your, albeit limited, experience with dating app hookups, you were expected to leave pretty much right after.

“Oh, um,” you look around the room at the soft worn-in sheets and the TV across from Joel’s bed. You take a look at him again, your eyes meeting his to match his gaze, where you can tell he’s mentally begging that you’ll stay the night.

“I mean, if you don’t mind, I’d be happy to stay.” Joel smiled lopsidedly and let his hand rub soothing circles at your lower back. 

“I’ll make it worth your while,” he laughs, stepping over to go into the bathroom and warm up a cloth for the mess spilling out from between your legs. “I wouldn’t mind wakin’ up and doing all that again tomorrow.”

You laugh and lay back onto his bed as he presses the warm cloth to your pussy, his lips once again finding yours to pull you in for a sweet kiss. 

You nod, sliding between the comfortable sheets as Joel runs downstairs to grab your abandoned drinks as well as a couple of bottles of ice cold water. He slips into the sheets next to you, not bothering to throw on any pajamas (not that you were complaining), and settling in beside you. After a few gulps of water, you nestled into his chest and let your hand find his tummy, resting on it as you listened to the even pattern of his breath.

“We should do this again. Like, after tomorrow morning.” you say quietly as you’re drifting in and out of sleep. His fingertips continues to slide across your arm and give you goosebumps as you snuggled closer into him, hearing a laugh exhale out of his nose and feeling a kiss press to the top of your head. 

In his sleepy, deep southern drawl, he replies. “Don’t have to ask me twice, darlin’.”

[project-sekai-facts]

Hey I'm the anon from this ask (https://www.tumblr.com/project-sekai-facts/764142926583431168/im-curious-why-you-feel-confident-in-saying-that?source=share) just wanted to say thank you so much for the response!! After reading that and more carefully rereading the stuff in the original mizuki trans post I agree with what you're saying about it being pretty much explicitly confirmed in-game Because of the many bad faith interpretations of my ask I wanted to explain where it came from a bit. I had just come out of listening to another friend doompost/get annoyed about the "vagueness" of the event story and how it wasn't settling the trans vs crossdresser "debate" (heavy quotes there) when I saw the new reblog you made to the mizuki trans post with the line of her being explicitly transgender.

I wanted to hear where you got that from because it was also the impression that I got after reading the story but I was struggling with putting it into words when talking with said friend - honestly i probably could have phrased the ask better but oh well that's tumblr for you.

I've always read her as trans but I've weird feelings about what "being canon" means for a long time hence my fears about jumping the gun - I tended to see it as "you need to have complete 100% proof that it's true that can rebuke all bad faith arguments, and if it doesn't you can accept it as a popular headcanon with some canon support but don't go implying that it's canon" but putting it into words like that makes me realize that that's not a good approach. And just seeing you repeatedly say things like mizuki being in-text confirmed to be trans for 4 years has helped me feel more confident in that and reassess my relationship with canonity in general so genuinely, thank you so much for that.

P.S. damn that ended up being much longer than i thought this was going to be lol. if you don't want to post this for whatever reason that's understandable, don't feel obligated to

No problem! And I'm really sorry for the flack people were giving you in the tags you literally said you wanted Mizuki to be trans in your ask. It's probably because of my response being pretty general and not necessarily directed at you for the most part; i had gotten like 4 other asks about "what are the chances mizuki is a crossdresser" so I just picked one to answer.

I mean yeah technically for it to be 100% canon it should be explicitly stated, but I tend to go off the rules that so long as there's enough sub/textual evidence and very little room for doubt, it's good as canon. Like when I said before that An and Kohane have canon romantic feelings - it's never been said outright but the evidence to prove it with little doubt is there. Technically the term canon refers to a series of works that take place in the same universe, but in fandom the term is often used to describe if character traits or ships are official or not. So Mizuki technically isn't officially a trans girl until they change the gender marker on her bio, but this event removed what little room there was for doubt, so I at the very least would consider it to be canon.

[whoishotteranimepolls]

My observations part 2 there's been some developments

There have been some new developments in fandom behaviors and trends that have changed since my last post about this and since a lot of people have liked it, I'll give the curious people an update before I forget

I have noticed something about the Trigun fandom. I thought you all were just ride or die loyal however, if it's wolfwood holy crap! You guys give the unhinged trio a run for their money. Do you know how many times I've seen unhinged comments about his Catholic titties. And why is the Catholic part so important that it must be emphasized every time? Otherwise you all are still ride or die no matter the character. But I have found a streak of unhinged crazy that I apparently missed the first time around.

I know someone mentioned they wanted to see the Fairy Tail fandom mentioned so I will mention you. So are you alive Fairy Tail Fandom are you okay? Your characters do get requested with some frequency and some of them are pretty iconic but you guys just don't do anything except if it's Gildarts v Shanks. Because how many rematches are we on now because people like that specific matchup just so they can post the meme about Gildarts being Shanks from Temu. Otherwise characters don't do all that well. But I will say one thing. You guys are giving one piece a run for its money when it comes to cursed matchups. However, I'm sure it's a good thing. Remember people are very annoyed with that fandom on my blog

Soul Eater. What has gotten into you guys? If it's Stein the fandom is worse than the unhinged trio. Any other character? I never know what you guys will do

Fullmetal Alchemist you guys have finally exposed you're crazy! Her name is Olivier Mira Armstrong and the unhinged things said on those polls. She is now one of those characters I now question should I mark this as mature content because apparently some of you want to be stepped on by her amongst other things. Remember people I read basically everything that is put in the tags. And for those who doubt her power, as of me writing this, she's tied with Senshi in their poll.

The unhinged trio is still just as bad as ever for those who are not aware, that's the nickname I gave to Jujutsu Kaisen, Dorohedoro and Black Butler because those three fandoms collectively are just nuts. However, the unhinged trio may get a lineup change soon. So I'm going to break down the three of them since I've noticed some specific things about you guys so let's get into that

Jujutsu Kaisen I will give you one thing. You guys are creative when it comes to slutty nicknames I think that's the best way to put it. They're hilarious! I'll give you that. However, I think some of them have scarred me for life. So if you want to know why some of these slutty nicknames are getting shared in the poll reblogs it's because of you guys. But the nicknames some of them are unhinged. However, never change. Jujutsu Kaisen fandom your entertaining. If not, terrifying sometimes. However, without a doubt, this fandom belongs in the unhinged trio. You are the gold standard of the unhinged trio. Your feral unhinged madness cannot be matched by any other fandom.

Dorohedoro I'm wondering if you truly belong in the unhinged trio because I think your craziness only applies to Noi and not to the other characters. So I'm curious to see how this plays out over the next few weeks because as far as I'm aware there's only Three maybe four characters in that show Noi a blonde chick a blonde dude and a lizard. So we're going to see over the next few weeks if you all truly belong in the unhinged trio because there are some other fandoms that definitely are gunning for your position

Black Butler I also wonder if your craziness is fandom wide because you guys don't seem to care if Sebastian is in a poll, but if it's Undertaker or Grell holy crap the levels of insanity. So again, I will be testing to see if you truly are worthy of your spot in the unhinged trio

And I think the Senshi polls meme/trend has kind of died down. I haven't found a request in the inbox for a while and he has officially lost to Noi from Dorohedoro by a large margin and may lose but it'll be close to Olivier Mira Armstrong from Fullmetal Alchemist apparently we found his weakness strong, powerful women.

I hope everyone has enjoyed my second entry into my poll analysis series You can find part one here

[little-devils-advocate]

My Personal Experience With Neil Gaiman Here on Tumblr

So, I'm sure anyone who comes across my Blog will see from my Pinned Post that it was previously Deactivated here on Tumblr. I essentially used the Blog to discuss controversial issues: abortion, gun control, BLM, etc. & had done a lot of work there. I had been running it for years & talked about some pretty heavy stuff, catching a lot of criticism for my views, but I had never been Deactivated or even had anything taken down.

As you can see from what I have Posted here since restarting, I am a huge advocate for the homeless. I had been Following @neil-gaiman for a while as a minor fan, mainly due to my enjoyment of his stories Stardust & American Gods. I've read none of his books, because the writing style didn't appeal to me, but I have some of them & watched the Stardust movie & the American Gods show.

Anyway, I'd previously seen him Posting here on Tumblr complaining about his residuals & how little money he was making, which rubbed me the wrong way for obvious reasons, but I let it go, because it wasn't that big of a deal to me at the time. Everyone has scruples.

OP:

Months later I saw him Posting about the recent writer's strike & going on a tangent again. Everyone was patting him on the back & agreeing with him & it irked me. Badly. So, I Reblogged it with a picture of a tent city & a link to Sia's album Some People Have Real Problems. Obviously, it irked me that someone of his means was complaining about his residuals & how little writers make when people all over the country are struggling to make ends meet, many of them falling victim to homelessness. Like I said: some people have real problems. Writers also make much more than your average worker, but I digress.

He. Was. PISSED. He then proceeded to attack me on his Blog. I can't remember exactly what he said, but it was something along the lines of 'I'm famous, how dare you question me!' I was then attacked relentlessly by his mob of fans to whom I vehemently defended myself & my position. I even recall one fan telling me that 'One day [I was] gonna wake up & regret insulting Neil Gaiman.' I think it's safe to say that day never came. 🙄

I wish I had screenshots for you all, but, like I said, my Blog was almost immediately taken down after the incident, which I find crazy as nothing I Posted in regards to this was out of line in any way. I did have some questionable shit on my Blog due to my endless defense against trolls, but like I said before, none of it had ever gotten pulled until then, so I'm really not sure what happened. I checked his Blog, but I can no longer find the Post there.

My guess is that Neil has some very serious issues with women &, quite frankly, I'm not suprised. I feel terrible for cracking up at him being dragged through the mud when I first got online this morning. I just saw part of the Post on FB via Threads & couldn't read it all, so I wondered what he did this time. I could never have imagined that it had to do with a SA or I would never have cracked a joke. I will try to be fully informed before I Post from now on, I just really felt a sense of vindication & closure when I saw that, & now even more so. And to that asshole, I will never wake up & regret insulting Neil Gaiman; Maybe if he wasn't being an entitled piece of shit with a broken moral compass I never would have done it. It just goes to show you that we need to stop idolizing celebrities. "You don't know these people."

I hope any of his victims continue to come forward so he can get his just desserts. On a personal level, I am so, so sorry that this happened to you & I empathize with you.

-LDA

Context:

[wearelondonhq]

Happy Meme Day!!! If you want to take part all you have to do is reblog this post. Remember if you reblog to send them out to EVERYONE who also does. Meme lasts from today until the next Wednesday (may 1st).

FORTNIGHT

I was supposed to be sent away, but they forgot to come and get me.

I was a functioning alcoholic.

Nobody noticed my new aesthetic.

All of this to say, I hope you're okay.

No one here's to blame.. what about your quiet treason?

For a fortnight there we were forever running.

You're in my backyard turned into good neighbors.

I want to kill her/him/them.

All my mornings are Monday stuck in an endless February.

I took the miracle move on pill, the effects were temporary.

I love you, it's ruining my life.

I touched you for only a fortnight.

My husband is cheating... i want to kill him.

I call you up but you won't pick up.

Another fortnight lost in America.

THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT

You left your typewriter at my apartment.

i think some things I'll never say.. like who uses typewriters anyway?

You're in self-sabotage mode.

Who else decodes you?

Who's gonna hold you like me?

Who's gonna know you if not me?

We'rе modern idiots.

I chose this cyclone with you.

Sometimes I wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me.

Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be.. because we're crazy.

At dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one people put wedding rings on.. and that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding.

MY BOY ONLY BREAKS HIS FAVORITE TOYS

Here we go again.

You should've seen him when he first got me.

My boy only breaks his favorite toys.. i'm queen of sand castles he destroys.

I should've known it was a matter of time.

There was a litany of reasons why we could've playеd for keeps this time.

I know I'm just repeating mysеlf.

He runs because he loves me.

'Cause you should've seen him when he first saw me

I knew too much.

There was danger in the heat of my touch.

He saw forever so he smashed it up.

Once I fix me, he's gonna miss me

He was my best friend.

I felt more when we played pretend than with all the Ken's.

He took me out of my box, stole my tortured heart, left all these broken parts.

Told me I'm better off, but I'm not.

DOWN BAD

Did you really beam me up?

Tell me I was the chosen one.

For a moment I knew cosmic love.

Now I'm down bad, crying at the gym.

Everything comes out teenage petulance.

Fuck it if I can't have him.. it's like i lost my twin.

I might just die, it would make no difference.

Come back and pick me up.

Fuck it if I can't have us.

I might just not get up.

I might stay down bad.

Did you take all my old clothes?

They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about the existence of you.

For a moment, I was heavenstruck.

I loved your hostile take-overs.

I'll build you a fort on some planet where they can all understand it.

How dare you think it's romantic leaving me safe and stranded?

Cause fuck it, I was in love.

Fuck you if I can't have us.

SO LONG, LONDON

Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away.

My spine split from carrying us up the hill.

I stopped trying to make him laugh.

How much sad did you think I had?

Did you think I had in me?

You'll find someone.

I didn't opt in to be your odd man out..

I founded the club she's heard great things about.

I left all I knew.

I stopped CPR.

Thе spirit was gone.

We would never come to.

I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free.

Two graves, one gun.

I'll find someone.

You say I abandoned the ship, but I was going down with it.

My white knuckle dying grip holding tight to your quiet resentment.

My friends said it isn't right to be scared.

Every breath feels like rarest air.

Just how low did you think I'd go before I'd self implode?

You swore that you loved me but where were the clues?

I died on the altar waiting for the proof.

BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM

I forget how the west was won.

I forget if this was ever fun.

I just learned these people only raise you to cage you.

What a mess.

I just learned these people try and save you 'cause they hate you.

Too high a horse for a simple girl to rise above it.

They slammed the door on my whole world.

But, daddy, I love him.

I'm having his baby... no, I'm not, but you should see your faces.

No, I'm not coming to my senses.

I know it's crazy, but he's the one I want.

Growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all.

You're this chaos, he was revelry.

Stay away from her.

Lord knows the words we never heard.

I'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin'.

I'll tell you something 'bout my good name, it's mine along with all the disgrace.

God save the most judgmental creeps who say they want what's best for me.

Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see.

You ain't gotta pray for me.. it's just my choice.

There's a lot of people in town that I bestow upon my fakest smiles.

Scandal does funny things to pride but brings lovers closer.

We came back when the heat died down.

Went to my parents and they came around.

All the wine moms are still holding out.

Fuck 'em, it's over.

Even my daddy just loves him.

I'm his lady.

Oh my god, you should see your faces.

I know it's crazy but he's the one I love.

FRESH OUT OF THE SLAMMER

I'm running back home to you.

I know who my first call will be to.

He don't understand me.

Handcuffed to the spell I was under.

But it's gonna be alright.

I did my time.

Toss the ashes off the ledge.

I will never lose my baby again.

My friends tried, but I wouldn't hear it.

Watched me daily disappearing for just one glimpse of his smile.

All those nights you kept me goin'.

Swirled you into all of my poems.

Now we're at the starting line.

No matter what I've done, it wouldn't matter anyway.

Ain't no way I'm gonna screw up, now that I know what's at stake here.

FLORIDA!!!

You can beat the heat if you beat the charges too.

They said I was a cheat, I guess it must be true.

My friends all smell like weed or little babies.

The city reeks of driving myself crazy.

Your home's really only a town you're just a guest in.

I got drunk and I dared it to wash me away.

Well, mе and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time.

Yеs, I'm haunted, but I'm feeling just fine.

Well, no one asks any questions here.

So I did my best to lay to rest all of the bodies that have ever been on my body.

I've got some regrets.

Tell me I'm despicable, say it's unforgivable.

At least the dolls are beautiful, fuck me up, Florida

I need to forget, so take me to Florida

What a crash, what a rush.

Love left me like this.

I don't want to exist.

GUILTY AS SIN?

I hadn't heard it in a while.

My boredom's bone deep.

This cage was once just fine.

Am I allowed to cry?

I dream of cracking locks.

Crashing into him tonight, he's a paradox.

I'm seeing visions.

Am I bad, or mad, or wise?

What if he's written "Mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?

Oh, what a way to die.

I keep recalling things we never did.

Without ever touching his skin, how can I be guilty as sin?

There's no such thing as bad thoughts, only your actions talk.

We've already done it in my head.

Why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?

What if I roll the stone away?

They're gonna crucify me anyway

What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?

They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly.

I choose you and me, religiously.

WHO'S AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME?

You don’t get to tell me about sad.

If you wanted me dead you should’ve just said.

Nothing makes me feel more alive.

Who’s afraid of little old me?

You don’t get to tell me you feel bad.

Is it a wonder I broke?

Let’s hear one morе joke.

Then we could all just laugh until I cry.

I was tame, I was gentle till the circus life made me mean.

Don’t you worry folks, we took out all her teeth.

So tell me everything is not about me, but what if it is?

Say they didn’t do it to hurt me, but what if they did?

I wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me.

You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.

All you kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs.

I’m always drunk on my own tears, isn’t that what they all said?

I’ll sue you if you step on my lawn.

I’m fearsome, and I’m wretched and I’m wrong.

Put narcotics into all of my songs and that’s why you’re still singing along.

You lured me and you hurt me and you taught me.

You caged me and then you called me crazy.

I am what I am 'cause you trained me.

I CAN FIX HIM (NO REALLY I CAN)

The smoke cloud billows out his mouth like a freight train through a small town.

The jokes that he told across the bar were revolting and far too loud.

God, help her.

I told them he's my man

I can fix him, no, really, I can.

The dopamine races through his brain on a six-lane Texas highway.

His hands so calloused from his pistol softly traces hearts on my face.

I could see it from a mile away.

A perfect case for my certain skill set.

He had a halo of the highest gradе.

He just hadn't met me yеt.

Good boy, that's right.

Come close.

I'll show you Heaven if you'll be an angel, all mine.

Trust me, I can handle me a dangerous man.

LOML

Who's gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames?

We were just kids, babe.

You said I'm the love of your life.

A con man sells a fool a "get love quick" scheme.

I felt a hole like this, never before and ever since.

What we thought was for all time was momentary.

Mr. Steal-Your-Girl, then make her cry.

You shit-talked me under the table.

I wish I could unrecall how we almost had it all.

You're the loss of my life.

I CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART

I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit.

They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it till you make it" And I did.

Lights, camera.. bitch, smile.. even when you wanna die.

He said he'd love me all his life, but that life was too short.

All the piеces of me shatterеd as the crowd was chanting "More".

I was grinnin' like I'm winnin'.

I can do it with a broken heart.

I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day.

I'm so obsessed with him, but he avoids me like the plague.

I cry a lot, but I am so productive, it's an art.

You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart.

I can hold my breath.

I've been doing it since he left.

I keep finding his things in drawers, crucial evidence I didn't imagine the whole thing.

THE SMALLEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED

I don't even want you back.

I don't miss what we had.

Could someone give a message to the smallest man who ever lived?

Were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?

Did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?

Were you writing a book?

Were you a sleeper cell spy?

In fifty years will all this be declassified?

You'll confess why you did it and I'll say, "Good riddance".

It wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden.

I would've died for your sins, instead I just died inside.

You deserve prison, but you won't get time.

You said normal girls were "boring", but you were gone by the morning.

You kicked out the stage lights, but you're still performing.

You are what you did.

I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive.

THE ALCHEMY

This happens once every few lifetimes.

These chemicals hit me like white wine.

What if I told you I'm back?

The hospital was a drag.

Worst sleep that I ever had.

I circled you on a map.

I haven't come around in so long.

I'm coming back so strong.

Ditch the clowns, get the crown.

Baby, I'm the one to be.

The sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me.

Honestly, who are we to fight thе alchemy?.

Hey, you, what if I told you we'rе cool?

That child's play back in school is forgiven under my rule.

I'm making a comeback to where I belong

We've been on a winning streak.

There was no chance trying to be the greatest in the league.

Where's the trophy? He just comes running over to me.

BONUS! BELOW THE CUT, FIND MORE OPTIONS FROM A MIX OF THE ANTHOLOGY TRACKS!

credit goes to @perspectivestarters !!

I move through the world with a heart broken.

I may never open up thе way I did for you.

Six weeks of breathing clean air, I still miss the smoke.

I can tell when somebody still wants me.

Once you fix your face, I'm going in.

Whether I'm gonna be your wife, or gonna smash up your bike, I haven't decided yet.

I'm gonna get you back.

Whether I'm gonna curse you out, or take you back to my house, I haven't decidеd yet.

You'll find that you were never not mine.

Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leaving here with you.

Pick your poison, babe, I'm poison either way.

A touch that was my birth right became foreign.

Are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me?

You know how to ball, I know artistotle.

Everyone knows that my mother is a saintly woman, but she used to say she wished that you were dead.

When I count the scars, there's a moment of truth, that there wouldn't be this, if there hadn't been you.

One day, your kid comes home singin' a song that only us two is gonna know is about you.

[thedroneranger]

The Drone Ranger's Be Kind Rewind ⏪ laracrofted Edition!

A rec reblog series dedicated to the fics that we love so much, we've re-read them!

@laracrofted's Rewind has landed! Amelia has been amped for this, and I was thrilled her name came into my inbox! 🖤

While we continue to churn out amazing new content, let's be kind and rewind to look at some of the OG content we love! And don't forget to reblog when you re-read! Continue to show your comfort fics and favorite creators some love. It helps keep the fresh content coming :)

Let's keep this going throughout the summer, so if you're interested in participating in the Be Kind Rewind, message me. The more, the merrier!

If you want to know when a new Rewind drops, join the tag list, and check out previous Rewinds!

fics below the cut (listed in alphabetical order by title)

and even when we're wrong in every way, we come out on the other side okay, bradley bradshaw, @gretagerwigsmuse i probably don't have anything to say about this series that hasn't already been said, but bradley and smart aleck are the blueprint, and i love the way jordan has continued to expand this universe.

bad habit, jake seresin, @seasonsbloom i'm probably going to be a broken record this entire post of i love this fic, i love it so much, but really, i love bad habit, i love bad habit so much. bad habit is one of the first jake fics i ever read and definitely the first jake series that i ever read, so i will always love her so much.

i will wait right here, bradley bradshaw, @lewmagoo i am such a sucker for a good hurt-comfort fic, and i will wait right here is the ultimate hurt-comfort fic.

i would walk 10,000 miles to you, jake seresin, @roleycoleyreccenter as i said in my original reblog, jake showing up at his love interest’s door drunk is something that can be so personal. i really do love this fic, it's so damn cute.

heat, bradley bradshaw, @clints-lucky-arrow i read this right after i saw top gun: maverick for the first, and i have never been the same since.

landslide, bradley bradshaw, @roosterbruiser i devoured this on AO3 months and months ago in like a midnight haze, unable to put it down, and it's still one of my favorite fics that millie's ever written. It's definitely on the heavier side (and long), but it's so good and so healing.

out of the blue, clear sky, jake seresin, @theharddeck i am such a sana stan so i had a hard time choosing between this and california coast in your green eyes, which i also love a whole lot. out of the blue pulled ahead because soft jake is the absolute softest in this fic. it's like a warm hug – and in the last chapter, a steaming warm hug.

steady, bradley bradshaw, @callsignvalley i re-read this like once a month, i'm so serious. it's just so good, and i love how bradley and cali (i don't know if the reader has a nickname, but cali to me) heal together.

Creator's Own

baby, i'm high octane, jake seresin somehow, i am still writing this fic like... over a year later, but baby, i'm high octane was the first tgm fic that i ever wrote and ever posted. and i am so proud of it, even if i've been working on it for a million years!

delicate, bob floyd probably one of my angstiest (but also softest) fics. i wrote this for @roosterforme's incredible love is in the air challenge in february (a huge shoutout to emily, whose work is featured on many rewind lists), and i still think about it all the time.

Tag list and friends: @petcr3 @desert-fern @Sagittarius-Lovewitch @mygyn @sweetwhispersofchaos @horseshoegirl @the-annoying-fan @dingochef @moon42flight @thecitysgraveyard @ereardon @cherrycola27 @galaxy-of-stories @taytaylala12  @malindacath @violyn20 @awildewit @potato-girl99981 @shanimallina87 @blue-aconite @djs8891 @linkpk88 @furiousladyking @daggerspare-standingby @princess76179 @jstarr86 @hecate-steps-on-me @darkheartcherry @soulmates8 @roosters-girl @dempy @roosterisdaddy36 @hangmanscoming @s-u-t @mavrellover91 @chicomonks @averyhotchner 

A kind reminder, this is a 18+ blog. While not all stories in the recommendation list are 18+, please respect boundaries and do not interact unless you are 18 years of age or older.

[shpadoinkle-day]

hi again!! its 1st time cannibal the musical watcher again- i might start signing my asks or somethin cus i keep wanting to talk but like you're always sharing such obscure random stuff.. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE THING YOU'VE DISCOVERED OR FOUND?? specific quote of an interview or a particular photo you've found ???

hiii anon lovely to see you back! feel free to tag yourself if you prefer that way, but either way you're much appreciated 🥰

I have so much stuff I found (I'd say it more like... was lucky to run into while researching 😵‍💫) that I love, but to name a few...

"My lovely wife Matt Stone" aka Trey's BOM speech from Feb 25 2013 at the first west end preview. How I found this: So, sometimes when I'm bored I'll pick a random mattrey blog that's been active for a long time, open an old post from their archive, see if there's old inactive mattrey blogs in the notes, and look through their archive to see if there's any posts I could make resurface that had stopped circulating, right? The funny thing is I'll go on reblog sprees, so I actually hadn't listened to the audio when I reblogged it. I was only informed of what it said when I saw others freak out about it.

Daily Show with Craig Kilborn. Why it's my fav? Well, aside from being adorable and iconic, it landed my youtube channel in the lost media wiki! How I found it is actually quite easy, when you look up fansites on the web archive you can do specific search for the files the web archive has saved from it. Turns out sometimes quicktime files work! Four parts were in canniballovers and one in dtisfu if I remember correctly, I just edited them together and posted it. Still wish someone could find it in better quality though. 😔

I'm gonna list a bunch of pictures now... because there's many. 😭 But my absolute N1 is probably the Halloween Robert Smith Trey picture. How I found it is simple, just looking up random words on facebook. Probably "trey parker", nothing special. This and this from the Ron Jeremy website on the web archive, though I think maybe the second one had already been circulating I'm not exactly sure. Showgirl Halloween Trey. The kiss pictures. Pink haired Trey!! This NATPE (?) picture. These older Trey pics where he's serving absolute cunt. This Lapdance/Sundance (?) pic. And these too. This reverse cap one altho this was from twitter I don't think I was the first to come across it tbh. These three from the "A Million Laughs" fb page... Bowl hat... Trey with the blue umbrella full pic... tho I wouldn't say I "found it" only that I got to it first the day it was posted... Trey in the matching christmas pajama from 2018... I'm gonna stop but my heart is pretty big and I like all pics...

These measly 7 secs of SDCC footage only because of the first mattrey pic included because that pose from Trey is everythinggg.

This oscars clip because Trey does such a graceful hair flip 😭

Le Petit Package pics though all I did was waltz into the lost media thread and see they had been posted...

The forbidden mattrey slides which we may never see... these were all from worthpoint, which is just a website that archives past ebay bids.

Annual Diversity Awards for the Trey serve ofc.

And finally, I'm very partial to "Matt's a cock".

As to how I come across anything... it's lots of free time. Like I'm talking hours daily just picking a random lead and following it. It may be a website you think hasn't been thoroughly searched (I've tried fb, ig, twitter, worthpoint, ebay, wordpress, tripod, weebly, various fansites on webarchive, footage.net, bilibili/baidu, vimeo, dailymotion, flickr, a load of sketchy other websites I don't remember anymore... basically trey parker has brought me to places I wouldn't go with a gun...) a combination of words, a new search engine that may give u different results (I've tried the ones listed in the lost media wiki guide, my favorite is startpage). Using targeted searching like "word" or site:x "word" or "word combo" before:year, basically trying to make google your bitch. I also use gettyimages like a visual wiki of events Trey's been to+the date, it's quite useful... ik you didn't ask the "how" part but aaaa I like talking about it 😭 I have a lot of fun. Even though sometimes I just come up empty handed even after hours of research. More often than not tbh. Also I'm an obsessed weirdo who checks the words "trey parker" daily on twitter, tumblr, ig, fb, yt, web archive and ebay. 🫠

And also the concept of finding is weird because it has happened to me that I thought I had found something and then it actually had been circulating already, so I tried really hard to answer you by only listing stuff I was fairly sure hadn't been circulating before I got to it, but I mean... it doesn't really matter! I'm here to serve, I just like sharing whatever stuff I run into, it'll happen that it's new to me but it really isn't. 😵‍💫 I try...

I like this too also but I didn't find it, it was pretty available already fjdkg you know Jack Shih was at that dodgeball event?

Favorite funfact that I haven't had a chance to share yet, so now you know!

[millerflintstone]

(a submission from @wormholeprophet ) FYI it seems like DeSantis didn’t kidnap that kid and the kid talked extensively about shooting up his school and stab people to his peers online? I’ve seen a lot of retractions from people who were reblogging this story recently.

I'm not crazy about the header the OP of that post, @moonfrosttheelf , used. I just reblogged with the most recent tweet from Rebekah Jones at the time. I did not think that reblog of mine would go anywhere since the only posts I share that gain any popularity are those of my cat.

Anyway ...

Her kid was arrested. That is true. If I was the mother of an autistic teen, and this happened to me, would I use the term 'kidnap'? Unsure. I don't have kids on purpose and can't speak to that.

It seems her son is back home with her.

Things do seem fishy with how all this went down.

Here's the link to the Miami Herald article about this situation. What the Yahoo article you submitted to my account, @wormholeprophet , doesn't talk about is what I've bolded below:

The boy was interviewed by sheriff’s deputies on March 23 and shown the memes, which he acknowledged sharing, the report said. The youth is not being named to protect his privacy.

One meme — part of a viral series — pictures a brain with intrusive thoughts about grabbing an officer’s gun, knowing that the result could be fatal. “Every time I see school security,” the boy wrote when he sent the meme, according to the warrant.

Authorities say he also posted another meme described in the warrant as “an individual with a shaved head holding a Hi-C drink. The message on the meme was “I’m feeling so silly I might shoot up a building full of people.”

He told the deputies at the time he had no plans to do anything, they noted in the report. A deputy told his parents it seemed like a “teenager” thing before leaving without making an arrest, a video of the exchange showed. Deputies did not question him about the more disturbing social media posts attributed to him in this week’s arrest report.

It’s unclear whether the deputies were aware of the messages, which were uncovered by a warrant to search his Snapchat account. The messages listed in the warrant involved threats of violence, including attacks on schoolchildren.

Feb. 9: “I want to shoot up the school.”

Feb. 12: “If I get a gun I’m gonna shoot up hnms lol” — an apparent reference to Holley Navarre Middle School, which the youth had previously attended.

Feb. 12: “I always keep a knife on me so maybe I’ll just stab ppl.”

Feb. 12: “…I have no hope in getting better, so why not kill the losers at school.”

An unredacted version of the warrant, obtained by the Herald, shows the threatening messages were sent by a username that was different than the one Jones’ son used to send the memes.

The document does not say how authorities determined both usernames are linked to the same account. The redacted version circulated by authorities does not reveal that there were two different usernames involved.

Jones provided a screenshot of her son’s account, which showed he changed to his current username in January, before the threats were made. She said he has never used the handle associated with the threatening messages.

Is the other username actually her kid or is it a plant? I don't know. Is this kid truly troubled and a danger? I also do not know.

I'd be interested in reading the unredacted warrant myself because the Yahoo article is very loosey-goosey with how they phrase things, specifically this - "The teenager told one of his friends that he planned to shoot up the school the Thursday before Spring Break but there were too many things going on so he postponed it until March 31."

Is there additional proof to back this up? Is the character of this friend on hyper focus like it is for Rebekah Jones? How much of this statement from the "friend" is speculation and how much is verifiable? Is the message from the account Jones is saying is not her kid's account?

I do wonder about the raid that was performed on their house by Florida agents when he was 11. I wonder how that act and having guns possibly pointed at him then at such a young age affected him. It seems he's gone through additional trauma, according to Jones's post on substack [x]

As for the raid, here's a link to what I'm talking about, if you are not aware [x]

[sweetescapeartist]

SOMETHING I WANT TO ADDRESS

There were some tags I read for the reblogs of my post here.

Here are the reblog tags.

And I have to make it clear that this is NOT some sort of attack on these ppl. This is simply me responding to things said about cop Krillin that I've seen before. Ppl have used Krillin being a cop as a reason to hate him (not saying these two hate Krillin). Politics have made ppl either hate all or love all police. There are good cops, but they are just rare. So, I can't say I hate all cops. I just don't care for most of them for many reasons. Now that all that's out of the way, let's continue...

Here is my issue. To preface, I am a black man. If anyone should have problems with police in America, it's black men due to how we are targeted more than anyone else. Do I like police? No. Not most of them. There are the rare few who actually try to help ppl, but they end up getting fired and threatened by the many bad cops who have numbers & power over them. So, now let's look at Krillin with the tags above in mind...

A response to @xenovidel

First of all, Krillin being a cop is not horribly out of character. Krillin wants to help ppl and wants to get paid doing so. Otherwise he would have became a vigilante and made no money to support his family. Instead he fights corruption and gets paid to do so. And that corruption can also involve criminals in uniform. Secondly, do we not want good ppl to infiltrate an oppressing system to help assist & save the oppressed? Not infiltrating oppressing systems allow for the corruption and oppression to continue. I am NOT endorsing an oppressive system. I am endorsing for good ppl to make positive changes against and within stystems of oppression. Get enough good ppl in & enough bad ppl out, who is in control now? Not infiltrating corrupts is allowing corruption to get stronger. In a way, that is unknowingly allowing for oppressing systems to flourish & retain their power to indulge in corruption. We need many good ppl with strong wills and convictions in these positions of power because they will not abuse it. And if they do, the other good ppl with strong convictions should hold them accountable & arrest them. Having more good ppl in these positions wont completely stop corruption, but it will prevent & diminish corruption.

I'm not pro police. I'm anti corruption. So if good ppl can get in these positions that corrupt ppl have and make positive changes, I'm all for it.

A response to @stephanos-spaceopera

I may have misspoken or been misunderstood. What I meant is this... Krillin is a martial artist. He has fought ppl in OG Dragon Ball during tournaments and knocked them out easily without killing them. Heck, Goku & Gohan done the same to ppl. These ppl are not seriously injured because in the world of Dragon Ball, normal ppl will be okay after being hit by certain attacks. Normal ppl in DB have gotten kicked through walls and were okay. Humans in DB are just more durable than humans in real life. Example being Bulma surviving her vehicle exploding (while carrying a baby) & her being blown around on Namek during battles, the news reporter & the camerman during the Cell Saga who got blown around by Earth shattering attacks. All were unharmed. Spider-man has super strength yet pulls his punches on criminals. And when you look at comics, normal humans often for some reason withstand punches from super humans. And Spider-Man works with the police. Is he bad now? Or is he just trying to get rid of corruption. Because he's fought police too. Now, lets go back to Dragon Ball. Jaco is a space cop. Do ppl hate Jaco? What about Videl? She helped police often and subdued criminals they couldn't. Do ppl suddenly hate Videl now that they remembered she helped police? Same goes for Gohan. Or maybe... police in the world of DB aren't as corrupt as they are in the real world. The Earth is ruled by a dog after all & there are other beastmen and monsters and dinosaurs in the DB world. Its not the same as our own world. Krillin being a good cop DOES NOT mean he is still a bad cop. That is illogical. The rare good cops in real life get threatened & fired by ppl who hold more power than them. Since Krillin literally holds more power than crooked cops, he can do his job properly without fear of getting threatened. Qualified immunity probably doesn't exist in DB either, so this just means bad cops have no protection. This means it's easier to arrest a bad cop, they can get long prison sentences, and they can be prevented from being a cop again. Meanwhile, good cops who don't need qualified immunity can keep doing their jobs without giving citizens issues. No reason to be mad that they made Krillin a cop if he is actually helping ppl. He doesn't attack citizens like bad cops in real life do. He attacks deadly criminals in a city with a bunch of criminal activity. Cause in real life, police in some places don't arrest violent criminals on purpose so that specific communities can be affected in very negative ways. If they actually did their job and stopped violent criminals & didn't harm citizens, there would be less crime and corruption in & outside the police force.

Also, Krillin purposefully holds back on how much power he uses. He's not always at 100% or even 10%. Thats not how ki works in DB. And the two men he "sent flying" were alright and he tied them up. Again, normal ppl in DB are toughter than ppl in real life. One reason is for comedic reasons and the other is because its a fictional world where normal ppl are just toughter.

And this is not "copaganda." That is when you only speak on the positive without including the negative. I included the positive and negative of cops. One being that Krillin actually makes ppl feel safe, meaning that cops often dont make ppl feel safe. Well... certain groups of ppl in real life usually don't feel safe more than other groups due to a corrupt system. And when I said that Krillin is the example that police should strive to be like, that means that police aren't doing that. Also, how do you peacefully apprehend a dangerous person? You have to use some sort of force to apprehend them. Violence isn't always a bad thing. At times, violence is necessary. If someone is attacking your family, you have to stop them with some form of violence. I know I would. I guess Gohan shouldn't be Saiyaman anymore since he's far stronger than Krillin and uses violence to stop criminals. Also this is DB we're talking about, so violence is bound to happen. The Z Fighters beat up Freeza's soldiers in Resurrection F. Violence was necessary against alien criminals/terrorists. Violence is at times necessary for human criminals too.

Krillin is a freaking super human who can blow up the planet using less than 25% of his strength. Him being a good cop simply means he won't be pressured into doing wrong out of fear for his life from other corrupt officers. And Krillin sets the example for other good cops and other cops who follow bad cops out of fear. They see that Krillin is untouchable and knows he won't be pressured into doing wrong. When bad ppl have more power, then more officers are willing to become corrupt to keep their jobs out of fear & also thirst for power over citizens. But if good ppl have more power, then more are willing to do what's right and stay in line out of respect for others as they earn respect. Krillin keeping the city safe doesn't mean he keeps it safe from just street criminals. It means bad cops too because a bad cop is a criminal. So when Krillin arrests corrupt cops, they can't threaten to kill him since he is far out of their league. Nor could they threaten his family since his wife is even stronger than him & his friends are the most powerful ppl in the universe. Protecting the city means protecting them from criminals with badges too. So, with less bad cops who are too afraid of being punished by officer Krillin, the city is safer. Corrupt cops do drug deals and brutalizing citizens in real life all the time. If corrupt cops are doing this in DB, then Krillin is literally changing the system in a similar way that Commissioner Gordon from Batman is one of the few good cops who helps Batman clean up the city of crime and corruption within the police force.

My Final Thoughts...

Do most ppl also blindly hate Commissioner James Gordon, Dick Grayson (Nightwing), Chun-Li, Leon Kennedy, Seras Victoria, Major Motoko Kusanagi from Ghost in The Shell, ect because they are/were police? No. They are seen as likable versions of police by most. And the ones who assist good police aren't looked down upon because they are helping a cop. We can't hate police so much that we would rather defend armed criminals who threaten innocent ppl over a rare good police officer. We should want more police to be like the good examples and find ways to make that happen so that a good cop isn't a rarity. Get rid of the many bad & create a way for more good to be present. But in real life, there are too many politics to make simple changes with police. To change that, more ppl would need to learn about law and politics to get rid of corrupt politicians. THEY are the root problem and many bad cops are the result of that problem.

Krillin is a good example of what police should strive to be like. We don't have to praise all police. Instead, we can praise a good example, state why they are good examples, and constantly state how other cops should do better.

And no hate towards neither of the ppl I @. Just discussing and clarifying.

[quietzap]

So I've always enjoyed your reblogs of 911, I never actually watched it until very recently. I rmr watching Ryan in the boy next door and thought he was a good actor! Now, I've been seeing here and there what's happening in his personal life right now..can u tell me why him and the wife were toxic together? I'm so fkn nosy! 🤣🤣🤣

Glad you enjoy the reblogs! Fun fact, Oliver who plays Buck also auditioned for The Boy Next Door! And yess Ryan's such a good actor! iirc the original 911 showrunner specifically wanted him to play Eddie! (And Maddie was supposed to become his love interest but thankfully JLH wanted Chimney instead aha)

And well it's just that they weren't compatible to being with 😅 thing is she got pregnant only a few months after they started dating and Ryan had talked about how much he wanted children so yeah they stayed together and then they were gonna break up but she got pregnant again during the pandemic and they tried to make it work again (and got married at home 😅). Anyway, she's very into social media and he isn't (he's into painting and photography etc), she's into restrictive diets and excessive workouts to look a certain way and he isn't (he said he doesn't want to spend time and energy on what it takes to look like when he was younger, and she acknowledged that it's not easy to deal with her when she preps for her bodybuilding competitions). She seems to have certain values that don't align with his (I mean she does seem to be open-minded but she also loves guns and stuff). He's also made comments that make it sound like she's quite jealous and has to approve his female love interests on the show. And I rmbr he posted about how she taught him to focus on what he needs instead of what he wants even if it's hard bc it's worth it 😐 Also he was always showing her support with her endeavours and more recently her singing meanwhile at first she posted about the show but the last couple years she only praised his looks, like nothing about his artworks. And like, throughout their relationship every couple of months she'd be passive aggressive on her instagram about their relationship so everyone would know things weren't ok lol and she'd post pics without her wedding ring on, and Ryan would be more lowkey and delete pics of them/her as some kind of retaliation I guess (it seems being with her made him a bit childish, or maybe he just wasn't happy that she was public like this). And then they'd be ok again and praise each other lol anyway. Since the beginning of the year it was clear things weren't ok like she made a passive aggressive post on V-Day about how challenging it is to watch your partner grow and all basically saying they're growing apart lol, and he commented basically agreeing things were nightmarish 😅 and recently he'd been deleting a few posts here and there and she posted about getting rid of "dead ends that no longer serve" her (yikes). Then they posted an old family pic on their stories (I guess to mean they're still a family through the kids) and now they've both unfollowed each other and deleted all pics of each other etc. So I guess they're officially divorced now 🤷 so yeah it seemed Ryan tried to be another person with her at first to make things work and then as time went on he cared more about what makes him truly happy and that wasn't compatible with what makes her happy 🤷 So yeah as you can see this wasn't very healthy! But kudos to them for divorcing now and not staying together for decades just for the kids, it'll be much better for them to see their parents separated but happy than together but miserable!

[jade-gemstone]

Ok, tell me, how did each of the characters get their talent?

HELL YEAH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING AN ASK ABOUT DESPAIR'S FLAME!!!

So, I'm only going to discuss the characters I made (the other co-creators can reblog with their characters if they so choose), and I'm going to say how I decided on their talents and how they canonically got their talents.

Just for reference, the game takes place post tragedy.

Hisomu Isei, SHSL Roboticist: I thought of their talent while listening to a song. Canonically, they and their father assisted with the creation of the megaphone neutralizer guns used by the future foundation to dispose of Monokuma robots during the tragedy. Due to Hisomu's promise and their contribution, they were promised a spot as the SHSL Roboticist when Hope's Peak reopened.

Sae Yamamori, SHSL Bunraku Puppeteer: I actually got her talent from a random talent generator while I was on an OC making kick a few years ago. After deeper research in Bunraku and several years developing her, she quickly became one of my favorite OCS I've ever made. As for in canon, she simply honed her talent until she was the most well known and respected puppeteer in Osaka Prefecture. It also didn't hurt that her wealthy family made many financial contributions to the future foundation.

Katsumi Shinohara, SHSL Primary School Teacher's Assistant: I honestly don't remember how I came up with this talent, as Katsumi was made a long time ago. I think I made her design and personality first, then gave her a talent that fit that (as I did a lot when making my first few OCS). Similarly to Hisomu, she canonically has her talent due to helping a parental figure. They and their adoptive mother - a primary school teacher - helped house hundreds of children in a bunker to keep them safe during the tragedy. Due to her bravery and willingness to help in the face of almost certain doom, she was offered to be a student at Hope's Peak when it reopened.

Ixia Carter, Ultimate Ballet Dancer: I'd always wanted to make an Ultimate Ballet Dancer, and saw my chance with an archetype needed for the Despair's Flame story to properly develop. In canon, she was the most talented and most successful young ballerina at the School of American Ballet. Her first performance post tragedy helped create new interest in the arts in New York and show the persistence of art through despair.

Hensoku Shuwaka, SHSL Cryptologist: One day while I was just sitting around, a quote (that no real person has said as far as I'm aware) popped into my head that made me think "Hm, that would be a great thing for an Ultimate Ghost Hunter to say." After further thought and development of the idea, I settled on Cryptologist as the talent. In canon, Hensoku preserved and pioneered legends and myths across the world through many notebooks, an internet blog, and the power of hyperfixation/memorization. The preservation of cultural history was what awarded him the title.

Atlas Aetos, Ultimate Vinyl Record Collector: I thought of his talent while coming up with characters for a DR AU for another fandom that I never actually made. I liked the talent, though, so I kept it and made a wholly different character out of it. In canon, he preserved and found music that could have been entirely lost during the tragedy due to how closely he protected his records. After the tragedy, he amassed the largest (still existing) record collection.

Emmett Anouilh, Ultimate Physicist: We needed another academic Ultimate. I'm in a class at school where I'm doing a lot of physics work right now. Write what you know, bada bing bada boom Ultimate Physicist. In canon, he is the son of a well respected physics professor. He helped to improve upon the work of both his father and other prevalent modern physicists. His extreme intelligence at a young age as well as heavy contributions to a complicated scientific field caught the eye of a certain prominent member of the future foundation, who scouted Emmett when Hope's Peak was set to reopen.

Fushigi Akarui, SHSL ???: I wanted to make a SHSL ??? for this game, and sort of built her around the title. As for in the story? She wishes she knew how she got to be there. She really does.

[sapphire-weapon]

Whenever I see you having an exchange with another blog all I can think of is why do you do that to yourself lmao… when a blog is brave enough to directly reblog you and start shit it means they feel confident enough in their clique to back them up (even if they’re wrong) and boom you gained five hostiles… I’d just ignore their asses… they’re literally ganging up on you like it’s hs.

As far as I can tell, no one came to this person's rescue. But either way.

I'm a bad role model in fandom. I don't practice what I preach. I tell you guys to just block and ignore people, but something like this happens, and...

I don't always respond. If someone RBs one of my posts and disagrees with it in a very mild way, I normally just let it go unless it's something like when that person took a meta post of mine and used it to go off on an unhinged rant about how Leon is a misogynist -- and I only responded to them because I did NOT want my words misconstrued like that and I didn't want people to think that that's what I was trying to say.

And I was going to just let this one go, too, but when I saw them post a piece of concept art where Leon had brown hair and said "he's blonde here" I just.

I saw that and I just kind of looked at the screen helplessly and went "Oh, no. That's objectively funny." And I couldn't not just paste the colors back at them. And they got so mad. And then it got even funnier.

It's like when that weird friends group decided to get all asshurt at me for calling Leon old, and then I dug through their blogs and found out that they were all women older than me with blogs that were filled with nothing but posts and reblogs calling 27-year-old Leon "Daddy" and I pointed it out and they all IMMEDIATELY blocked me.

That was my favorite thing.

I'M JUST A PERSON

I HAVE WEAKNESSES

I WORK IN THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY, I'M USED TO SHINING SPOTLIGHTS ON CLOWNS FOR THE SAKE OF JOY AND LAUGHTER AND SCHADENFREUDE, I CAN'T HELP IT

I would love to have someone reblog one of my posts and give a comprehensive rebuttal to it with reasoning backed up by evidence from the canon and not just "Capcom said/Capcom never said" and/or "I'll just interpret it how I want w/e" but in the time that I've been posting about RE since 4make came out...

it has only happened once.

Unfortunately, the conversation never went anywhere, but I would LOVE to have more in depth, nuanced conversations about interpretations of dialogue and theming and imagery.

But all I ever get instead are dopes who don't know what the color brown is or think that an ad for an Airsoft gun is canon. So if that's all I'm gonna get, I'm at least gonna make it funny.

[dragon-kazansky]

I posted 7,262 times in 2022

That's 2,075 more posts than 2021!

3,870 posts created (53%)

3,392 posts reblogged (47%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mrsjaderogers

@callsign-dragonbaron

@cycbaby

@askmarinaandothers

@callsignscupcake

I tagged 1,636 of my posts in 2022

#top gun - 446 posts

#val kilmer - 212 posts

#iceman - 188 posts

#head in the clouds - 142 posts

#top gun: maverick - 141 posts

#tom iceman kazansky - 135 posts

#iceman x reader - 126 posts

#tom kazansky - 124 posts

#top gun 1986 - 123 posts

#masquerade at midnight - 108 posts

Longest Tag: 74 characters

#i'll be happy to share more from this magazine if anyone wants to see more

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Big bear hugs

Gender neutral reader

Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x Reader

Implied short reader. Implied height difference between Reader and Rooster.

Phoenix, Bob, and yourself are discussing who is better at what. You seem to have all the answers.

♡♡♡

Another round of drinks, another round of questions. You, Bob, and Phoenix have been at this for a solid 30 minutes already.

"Alright, alright, next one," Phoenix holds up a finger. "Who is the best at dog fighting?"

You stare at her with a blank face. "Seriously?" You gesture across the bar. "Maverick is literally sitting right there."

Bob agrees.

"That's fair. We did say anyone goes," she laughs.

"Don't let Hangman hear you."

You laugh and take a swig of your drink. You take a look around the bar and try to think up the next question. You have one.

"Who do you think is the best cook?"

"Oh, good one. I don't think I've tried anyone's cooking," Phoenix hums softly.

"Rooster must cook for you," Bob looks at you.

"Of course he does, and he is a very good cook. I was just curious if you think anyone here could make it as a chef," you chuckle.

They both laugh too.

"I'd say I'm a good cook," Phoenix chimes in.

"Then we shall have to put that to the test one day," you smile.

"Deal."

"Who do you think the best dancer is?" Bob asks.

You smile at the pair of them. They roll their eyes. Of course you're going to say Bradley.

"He's the best singer too," you state.

"Anything else?" Bob asks, smiling at you.

"He gives the best hugs," you smile back.

"We wouldn't know," Phoenix grins.

"He gives big bear hugs. The cozy kind of hugs. They're even better because he's tall." They both see the way your face softens.

"Well, he's coming this way, why don't you show us?" Phoenix smiles.

You chuckle and turn around in your seat. Just as she said, Rooster was making his way over to you. You smile at him as he gets closer.

See the full post

1,680 notes - Posted August 1, 2022

#4

Plenty of cuddles for everyone

Gender neutral reader

Requested by anon

This is probably inaccurate to how DID works, but after Ep 5, this was too good to not do.

♡♡♡

It was Steven who was in control right now. You had just spent the day together, and after getting back to his place, had cuddled up on the bed with the radio playing in the background. You had been talking about your favourite parts of the day, smiling at some of Steven’s antics, and thinking of where to go to next time.

You were sat with your back against the headboard and Steven’s head on your chest. You had your arms wrapped around his shoulders, cradling him to you. While Steven had his arms draped around your torso. He could hear the thumping of your heart, and the vibrations of your laughter.

At one point you had chosen to run your fingers through his hair in a soothing motion. He had relaxed instantly as your massaged his scalp.

Knowing Steven felt so safe in your arms made you smile. Steven had been through a lot, and he deserved some love and affection. He had spent so much time alone, that you couldn’t imagine what that would be like. You promised Steven would always have you.

Marc. Well, he deserves love and affection too, but he’s often a bit stand off-ish with you. You always try to keep some space between you when he’s fronting. He looks out for you, sure, but he’s never been very affectionate with you.

No matter how much you just want to pull him into a hug and take away all his burdens. You want Marc to share his load, take it easy, and let you help.

“I really liked that food stall we stopped at,” Steven says, voice soft.

“Yeah, me too. We can go again next week, if you want to.”

Steven smiles.

“I’d love to.”

You continue to sit there with him in your arms, fingers running through his hair and listening to the music. The conversation dies down from here, but you’re both content and relaxed.

You’re not sure how much time has passed, but after a while, Steven’s hold on you tightens and he buries his face into your shirt. You stop your hand and try to get a look at his face.

“Steven?”

He shakes his head. You look down at him confused.

“Steven? What’s the matter?”

“Don’t stop.”

You freeze. Not Steven. Marc. That’s Marc’s voice.

“Marc?”

“Don’t stop. Please...” He begs, not looking up at you.

Slowly, your hand return to his hair and doing exactly what you had been doing to Steven. 

Marc’s arms tighten just a little more. He’s clinging to you. Eyes shut, hand gripping at your shirt, head tucked under your chin.

Your heart is racing and he can hear it.

Marc’s hold on you loosens up a bit and after a few more moments he looks up at you. You look at him with soft gentle eyes. You don’t say anything. You don’t have to.

He knows you know.

Marc took control because for once he didn’t need Steven to protect him from his pain. You made him feel safe and this is the safest he has felt in a long time.

See the full post

1,757 notes - Posted April 30, 2022

#3

Fuck you, Khonshu

Gender neutral reader

For @askmarinaandothers because this would totally be us 😂

This fic is for humour purposes and isn't meant to be taken seriously to the plot.

You're cool, murder bird

♡♡♡

"Khonshu?"

"Yeah..."

"And he's a big bird man Egyptian god that wants you to give control this dude Marc who lives in your head?"

"That's the gist of it, bit more complicated, but yeah."

"And he wanted you to kill someone?"

"Yep."

You nod slowly, trying to understand what Steven had told you. He had spent the last hour going through everything he was suffering with.

He trusted you.

You trusted him.

You believed him.

"Is he here now?"

Steven shifted his gaze around and then returned to you. He nodded slowly.

"Where?"

"Up there," he points in a lazy manner to the rooftops of the chapel behind you. You turn, looking up knowing you won't actually be able to see him.

"Still there?"

"Yes."

You stand up, turn your whole body toward the chapel roof and raise your hand.

"What are they doing?" Kohnshu asks.

He doesn't get a reply from Steven, who is just watching you. He has to bite back bursting into laughter as you stick your middle finger up in the general direction of where Kohnshu is perched.

"The bird for the bird man!" You declare.

"KILL THEM STEVEN!"

Steven gives in and bursts into laughter.

"Is he offended?"

"Definitely."

See the full post

1,897 notes - Posted April 7, 2022

#2

Murder Bird Masterlist

Khonshu series? Sure, why not!

♡♡♡

Fuck you, Khonshu

You're cool, Murder Bird

Little troublemaker

The moon and the star

The god that watches over us

The thing about Khonshu

A warning set in stone

The pain of remembering

When the moon met his star

A living nightmare

Free him!!!

Under my wing

Stand up and let go

Meet my friend

My way of life

The next chapter

Khonshu's distaste

A conversation between gods

A not so little bird

Dancing in the moonlight

Dream team

Mr Lockley

The jackal calls

Hunt or be hunted

Reap what you sow

♡♡♡

More chapters to come. You keep thinking it's ending 😂

2,163 notes - Posted April 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Moon knight silly moments

You: Do you think I'd be a good avatar?

Khonshu: No.

You: What? Why not?

Khonshu: You're too... precious for that.

You: *points at Steven*

Khonshu: He wasn't a choice, I didn't know it was a package deal at the time. He came free.

Steven: Hey!

3,789 notes - Posted April 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[mercurygray]

I posted 2,578 times in 2022

867 posts created (34%)

1,711 posts reblogged (66%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mercurygray

@carbone14

@shoshiwrites

@marvelingjules

@captainkilly

I tagged 2,357 of my posts in 2022

Only 9% of my posts had no tags

#asked and answered - 153 posts

#i have written a thing - 138 posts

#shopping for a fanfic - 131 posts

#rebagelling for a later crowd - 115 posts

#the care and feeding of your friendly writer - 98 posts

#this has been a psa - 97 posts

#writing - 92 posts

#joan warren - 85 posts

#original girl gang - 79 posts

#house of the dragon - 78 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#(which is great! your brain needs downtime! but pls try something with a higher difficulty setting too cos your brain needs that as well)

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

One of my fandom servers recently shared another post about the vicious 'comments-likes-kudos-reblogs-no one is sharing my stuff' cycle that often pop up in internet writer circles.

And after we'd gone on a ways, one of the people in this conversation (the always lovely and astute @captainkilly) pointed out that that what writers want when we complain about things like this - what a lot of us want, anyway - isn't necessarily pure attention, but connection. We want to talk with someone about something that makes us happy. We've written something down specifically for the express purpose of giving voice to a thought we have. We want to have a conversation - ideally a deep and genuine one, but a conversation regardless.

I thought this was a very valid take. And I realized something else, too - To find that person, you have to BE that person.

How do I know this? Because I'm TERRIBLE at it. I have been the person on the sideline stamping my foot that my genius isn’t being noticed and isn’t that awful?  I can't start conversations on the internet FOR BEANS - I can be VERY self conscious when I want to be. I've done this with exactly four people over the last two years. Three of them are still talking to me.

And here's where this story gets interesting. That fourth person? I asked them for perceived internet clout. I wanted to be in their circle because I thought it would bring me fame and recognition and legitimacy and they could put me in front of eyeballs, and you know what, they're NOT still talking to me, because to be honest, I figured out after a while that she didn't care about my stuff - and I had never cared about hers.

But those other three folks? They'd jump through the internet and hit someone for me. I love them to bits. I would jump through the internet for them, too.

Connection, not attention. Talk to people. 

125 notes - Posted April 14, 2022

#4

House of the Dragon 1.9 thoughts: I love Jace's shocked Pikachu face with Helaena's speech. Like, what, that's how marriages work around here? I've only seen Mom with Dad, Totally Not Dad, and Daemon, and they all never treated her like that. This is an outrage.

128 notes - Posted October 10, 2022

#3

I went to go see the new Top Gun again after work ($5 Mondays!) and I think I found the moment in the movie where Phoenix really adopts Bob.

In their first dogfight against Maverick, Hangman is flying with Phoenix and Bob, and after their plane is shot down, Hangman desperately asks for help trying to find Maverick when the sun is in his eyes.

Phoenix reminds him that she's dead and therefore out of the game, and Bob says "See you in the afterlife, Bagman."

It's the first time someone else has used Phoenix's derogatory take on his callsign - and Phoenix smiles. Yeah, this guy's on her team. Just watch someone try to take her WSO. (And he made a joke!)

251 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

#2

Things You Said Prompts

… in the dark

… in the aftermath

… under a bridge

… for comfort

… with intent to harm

… in the shade of a tree

… where the water was loud

… out of anger

… out of fear

… when I wasn't listening

… when I was gone

… where everyone could hear

… where no one could hear

… when I wasn't meant to hear

… that you regretted after

… when we were afraid

… when we were in danger

… when one or more of us was drunk

… after the storm had passed

… to comfort me

… far away from all of it

… when we woke

… while we slept

… with our bodies and not our voices

… when we were close together

… when the world was ending

things you didn't say at all

336 notes - Posted April 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Achievements in Fan Writing:

inarticulate screaming in comments

'i read this in one sitting'

'i don't usually read this but I liked yours'

'I hoped somebody would be writing [x] and then I found this!😍'

'i didn't even know I needed this until now'

'i've never even seen this show but i loved this'

'you bastard now i'm writing this too'

'I have had your OC for only a day but if anything happened to them I would...'-insert meme here

'you made me start shipping [pairing]'

'you made me see this character differently'

'you made me see this character'

'here i drew you fanart based on your fic'

made it onto someone's rec list

2,607 notes - Posted February 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[royalarmyking]

ravenmichaelisstuff, im back my friend, and once again i will help. i have a feeling you and i will become good mates.

In Your Arms

Idea by ravenmichaelisstuff

Warnings; death, blood, guns, physical torture, and other stuff i probably didnt catch

Pairing; Simon 'Ghost' Riley x John 'Soap' MacTavish

Btw, I am posting these stories that I have reblogged on my own account after reblogging, still giving full credit to ravenmichaelisstuff

135 likes, lets see if i bump it up

He finally got Soap to himself after 4 long months of being deployed. Ghost convinced him to come to England with him, although Soap was reluctant about being around so many Britts.

After a long flight, they were finally back, and today they were walking through a park near their flat. Simon no longer wore his mask, but he did wear a black mask with the skull on it, still uncertain about showing his face.

"D'ya like it here Johnny," Ghost said, looping an arm around Soaps shoulders, the other hand in his pocket.

"I only like it because you're 'ere, Simon," he replied, smiling up at Ghost.

Ghost kissed Soap on his head through his mask. A cold breeze ruffled the leaves in the tree above them, making Simon tense his shoulders. He stopped under the tree, leaning against it, and moving Soap in front of him, hugging him tightly.

"Si?" Soap said.

"Johnny," Ghost replied.

"I love you," Soap said, looking up at his handsome face.

"I trust you," Ghost replied. This made Soap smile, knowing that Ghost's trust was more valuable.

"Lets go 'ome, I'm cold," Ghost said, once again being unintentionally insensitive to the moment.

"Ok," Soap said. "Last one to the road is a ro'en egg."

Soap took off, being smaller and faster then Ghost. Within a minute he was at the sidewalk of the main road, Simon some distance behind. Suddenly he saw a small red dot on Simon's chest.

Soap ran at Simon, jumping up. His small of his back went numb. Then his shoulder blade. Sniper.

"Run when I let go Simon," Soap said. A blast of burning, unyielding pain instantaneously arose in his back. "RUN SIMON"

He suddenly collapsed to the ground. Simon caught him. He had ripped off his mask, his face surprisingly calm.

"I've got you Johnny," he said. He removed one of his hands from Soap's back, his hand covered with scarlet. Tears started to stream down his face.

Soap had silent tears streaming down his face.

"There's no other person who's arms i'd want to die in," Soap said looking up at Ghost.

"Don't say that Johnny, you're not dying on me," he said, resting a semi-bloody hand on Soap's face.

"I always knew i'd...die in your arms...im just gonna...rest," Soap said leaning his head back. "I love you...Si."

"I love you too," Ghost said, watching Soap's last breath leave his body. Ghost watching Soap for a second, his lifeless body, at peace. Ghost screamed out, his scream full of pain, agony. He had lost his comrade, his best friend, and his love, all at once.

______________________________________________________________

Two Weeks Later...

He stood in line with some of the task force members; Gaz, Nik, Farah, Roach, and Horangi.

"He was one of the best comrades I had the pleasure of knowing, always willing to protect others, even if it cost his-his life," Price stuttered, pausing to take a deep breath. "Not only was he a good comrade, he was a friend. A good friend. A friend to all he knew, and-and...im sorry- a friend we will never forget. John was the greatest man we will ever know, his bravery and fearlessness will never be forgotten. He moved through life with a keen perceptiveness and even sharper wit. We will miss his duty, honor, and sacrifice."

Ghost glanced down his line of comrades; Gaz had tears streaming down his face. Konigs body was quivering with every breath, his head bowed, Horangi comforting him, his own cheeks wet with tears. Alejandro and Rudy also had their heads bowed. Val and Farah leaning on each other, Val crying into Farah's shoulder. Roach had stepped away, unable to stand in formation, not bearing to look at Soap's coffin.

Ghost bowed his head. I trust you. I trust you. I trust you. I love you.

______________________________________________________________

Bonus; 9 Months Later

The warehouse was empty. Ghost had shot and killed every. single. one. The sniper that stole Soap's life now lay lifeless on the floor in front of Ghost. Anger surged through his veins. He didn't kill the sniper like the others. He killed him slowly, steadily crushing his trachea with Ghost's hand, allowing the young sniper to stare into Ghost's eyes while his life was stolen. The kind of agonizing pain Ghost was in.

Ghost was redeemed. He thought about Soap's headstone back home; a simple marble headstone. Ghost had planted orchids around it, Soap's favorite flower. He kept a picture of his love in his pocket at all times, remembering his boyish smile, and his accent that Ghost learned to understand like it was his own. He'd never forget the last words, 'I love you Si'.

______________________________________________________________

Not gonna lie, I cried making this, like full on cried, maybe im just emotional. ravenmichaelisstuff, keep shooting these ideas at me

Thinking about Soap and Ghost being on leave, on a walk through a park or something and suddenly Soap sees a red dot on Ghost's chest.

A sniper.

Instead of screaming for Ghost to move or something he hugs him, shielding him from the shot.

Bonus points if he says something like "I always knew I will die in your arms" or "Run when I let go."

I am at work by the way. Very busy business.

[coffinhorse]

I posted 217 times in 2022

That's 217 more posts than 2021!

12 posts created (6%)

205 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@groovyjess

@wild-zamboni

@too-music

@wolverineblues

@transhorrors

I tagged 87 of my posts in 2022

#evil dead the game - 7 posts

#love this - 4 posts

#henry the red - 2 posts

#rec. - 2 posts

#perfection - 2 posts

#i love them so much - 2 posts

#i love dad ash so much - 1 post

#we were robbed - 1 post

#eligos after ash summons him - 1 post

#one day my beloveds - 1 post

Longest Tag: 106 characters

#i suggest putting them in a bubble mailer with a piece of stiff cardboard so they are less likely to break

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

David Allen headcanons

[Disclaimer: I have not watched Evil Dead (2013) and likely never will. What I HAVE watched is three or four youtube reactions/reviews for it and my sister has been playing David a bunch in Evil Dead the Game so I'm mostly going off of that.]

David smokes cigarettes. Like a lot. (Evidenced in game from how heavily he breathes even when he's not sprinting). He also has a lot of opinions about people who smoke: thinks people who vape are posers that can't handle a real cigarette, and that cigars are too expensive and not worth the money. He only smokes the cheapest brand he can find and doesn't mind switching to a different one if the price changes. Has personally smashed the glass on every cigarette machine he finds in game.

Hates sweets and never drinks sodas [until Knowby's spell dragged him along] or mixed drinks. Gags every time he has to drink a Shemp's but puts up with it for the good of the team. Honestly didn't know that Pink F contained drugs until Pablo tells him one day and from then on David side eyes anyone he sees running for a chest.

Has punched Scotty on more than one occasion after Scotty's made a pass at Mia.

Is always hanging around Mia even though she's still kinda standoffish to the point where everyone else keeps making incest jokes. David hates the jokes and gets really offended but Mia just rolls her eyes and says they're stupid.

Favorite items are the nail gun (duh) and the nailed bat. Hates the blunderbuss and thinks the syringes are in poor taste.

Whenever he is on the castle map the others have to yell at him to get into the car because he'll go on a huge rant about how poor condition all the cars are from dropping through the portal and insist on taking some time to fix them.

Is constantly cold but refuses to wear a jacket.

Likes talking about repairing stuff with the Blacksmith.

Likes hanging out with Mia, Blacksmith, and Pablo the most.

Literally cannot tell one Ash from another and doesn't want to try and figure it out either. He thought for the longest time that "El Jefe" was someone really cool because Pablo said so but when he found out it was Ash got really disappointed but kept it to himself.

Was initially resistant to hearing about "magic stuff" but respects Pablo's culture.

He suspects he and Mia might be distantly related to Annie once he found out the cabin belonged to her family but keeps that to himself because he finds Annie pretentious and doesn't want to spend more time with her than he has to.

1 note - Posted November 22, 2022

#4

Waiting in the Evil Dead lobby with my sister:

Me: I like it when I play Henry and you play Cheryl, we become Chenry! Or maybe Heryl?

My sister: Isn't Heryl the same as Cheryl without the C?

1 note - Posted September 27, 2022

#3

I'm so excited to get this skin when it comes out and I've been dying for a morning star weapon since the game come out. I wonder if this is the legendary version or if that one will look even more crazy. Henry's basic skin is still really good though so I'll just have to play him more often so I can switch between.

Also Henry's keep better be a location!!

1 note - Posted July 11, 2022

#2

I've been getting better at playing original Ash, and he's almost a perfect character for me because I can just spam heavy attacks that also heal people? Perfection. I also figured out that since the healing isn't based on damage done, faster attack weapons are better. I just wish I was better at getting headshots since so many of his abilities relate to that. I'm improving though. It's just nice to be playing a video game again and it doesn't hurt my hands too much.

1 note - Posted June 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

4 notes - Posted August 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →