#i'm not really motivated recently and my general feeling is that it's just not worth it

[writingquestionsanswered]

How do you explore ideas properly? I often see the advice "explore your characters desires, motives, etc." and "dive deeper into the lore of your world" and similar stuff... but how do you actually do it? I take things literally, so I find this particular wording quite difficult to comprehend. Specifically, when I'm trying to develop my story, sometimes an idea will pop up, and I get that "is this the key to fix my plot hole?" feeling, and I run it through my head, and then my brain is just SO QUICK to disprove it. Like, just instantly lost interest? Sometimes it just wasn't the right idea, but recently it's happened every single time, so I'm starting to lose trust i myself.

So, how can I properly explore and idea for my story to find out if it fits or not, before my brain is too quick to judge it for the worse?

Properly Exploring Story Ideas

Without greater context, it's hard to know exactly what that particular bit of advice intended, but from a general writing advice standpoint, I don't think it's meant to be taken too literally.

Generally speaking, "explore" really just means that once you've done the brainstorming and development to flesh it out for yourself, you need to establish and develop that thing for the reader (so, within your story) and bring it to its natural conclusion. In other words, "explore your character's motives" really just means you need to think about what your character's motives are so that you understand them for yourself, then you need to establish and flesh out those motives in your story and illustrate how they lead the character to pursue the particular goal they pursue. "Exploring" really just means "flesh it out for you and the reader."

When you get random ideas while you're plotting and planning, though, I think most of the time it's usually pretty easy to see whether or not it pertains to the story you're trying to flesh out. For example, let's say you're fleshing out a story about a woman who works for a chain bookstore and is trying to solve the mystery of her boss's murder because she wants justice for them, and also to clear a co-worker's name who is the main suspect. As you're fleshing out the murder (who did it and why, how it happened, how it was discovered, how your character got involved) as well as your character's motives (why it's important for her to try to find out what really happened), if you suddenly get an idea that she's a renowned cellist, I think you can probably pretty quickly determine that this isn't an idea worth exploring--either for yourself or in the story--because right away you can see it has nothing to do with a bookstore, your character's job as a supervisor, her boss's job as the manager, the murder (which turns out to be book related), or the killer (who turns out to be the boss's long lost ex who feels like the guy tanked her small book store.) So, this is an idea you can dismiss. But, if you come to a point during the fleshing out or writing of the story where it would make sense for your character to also be a renowned cellist, then you'll remember that idea and be able to plug it in because it's needed.

So, I guess what I'm saying is you actually should trust your gut. Write ideas down as they occur to you so you can come back to them later if need be, but if something doesn't feel right to pursue in the moment, it's almost certainly because your brain understands it doesn't fit into the story you need to tell. If an idea occurs to you that is the magical thing your story needs, it will be absolutely clear to you in that moment.

Happy writing!

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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[lord-squiggletits]

What do you think is Tarn's favorite part of being ordered to do something? That he's worth something/seen as valuable or the idea of the reward at the end? Or something else entirely?

Probably closer to your first theory: my first instinct is that Tarn seems to derive a lot of his self-worth and purpose in life from an attachment to others/an ideology (see: his whole thing with Megatron), although I honestly doubt he was like that before Megatron fucked him up with brainwashing. Being ordered to do something = being needed, and being needed = having value and a reason for living.

It also seems to me that, even as Damus, Tarn has a bit of a rash/emotional/passionate streak: very much the type to fix an ideology/set of instructions upon himself, then charge forward with a sense of purpose. If we look at Damus getting irritated at Orion for "just sitting around and waiting for the Senate soldiers to show up," it seems this guy really wanted to ACT and DO, perhaps to the point of slight recklessness/thoughtlessness. As if he equated active "doing" with productivity and "having a plan" and taking initiative, but thought of waiting as a form of weakness/giving up/not being prepared. (Ties in rather neatly with his tendency for organization maybe... weird how he's simultaneously reckless with his individual actions but also needs a sense of Order And Hierarchy to feel fulfilled on a general life level.)

So I think Tarn also gets enjoyment from following orders bc eh... I'm genuinely not trying to make this a petplay thing 🤣but I'd say that maybe he gets a sense of comfort/security from being able to just charge forward and act, no need to worry about morality or questioning his own motives. Just outsource his thinking to someone else beloved, trusting, and all-wise (Megatron) so he can experience the pure bliss of fanaticism and utter self-righteousness/confidence in his own actions. He even admits to Deathsaurus that he let himself conflate Megatron with the Decepticon ideology when instead Decepticonism is based on a dream, an idea.

So on that note, it also seems to me that Tarn might like following orders specifically bc he feels a personal connection to Megatron? Megatron groomed him as a protege/his most dedicated and fanatical follower. Their conversation on Necroworld shows that Tarn quite obviously thinks the world of Megatron and wants to see him as that figure of legendary competence/willpower. I don't think Tarn just wants to have The Right Ideology so that he can Feel Good About Being A Good Person (TM); it seems like Tarn specifically wants* to have a personal connection, some sense of approval or specialness, a bond with some authority figure who not only assures that he can trust them, but that they also trust him utterly. I think it says a lot that Tarn was even able to fall in love (figuratively) with Megatron more than he was with Decepticon ideology itself. It points to the fact that what he's really missing is interpersonal connections. Er, as much as an incredibly toxic and manipulative parasocial relationship is an interpersonal connection, but I never said that it was a good connection.

*In light of recent panels of Damus I reviewed from a Tarn/Damus post I reblogged last night, Damus seemed to actually be quite comfortable challenging/questioning Orion to his face and wanting to know what their plan is and why. I think it says a lot that Damus' relationship with Orion was one between a leader and a soldier, yes, but it was also informal and non-hierarchical enough that Damus felt completely free to question Orion. When you contrast this with Tarn talking to Megatron ~4 million years later, he's suddenly switched to an attitude of absolutely worshipping Megatron and believing he has utterly absurd/impossible levels of ability, vision, confidence, willpower, etc. Seems to me like part of Megatron's brainwashing of Damus was specifically centered on wrapping his heart around his little finger for the purpose of cultivating that blind obedience. Given Megatron's thoughts at the end of his Spotlight issue (he refers to his soldiers basically as blind idiots who can be whipped into a furor with the right propaganda lines), this is a pretty common emotional manipulation tactic he used in general. It just seems like Megatron concentrated this manipulation by singling out Damus and making him feel special, that he saw himself in Damus, and that he truly cared about him and wanted him as a student. You know, an emotional connection.

Honestly, this is kinda dark tho, bc now I'm kind of sad and thinking that Tarn doesn't naturally have this level of codependence/slave-like devotion to a person and it was actually just something Megatron shaped him into as a leash of sorts... Damn, I can be horny about people sublimating their trauma/emotional issues through kink, but not in a guilt-free "haha he's a dog" way. 😔 JK I'll still call Tarn a dog (affectionate) bc it's just so true.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Does the "This is all a dream orchestrated by Malleus" relate to the Yuuverse with all the Yuus repeatedly going through the story over and over again? I have seen people theorize that every time a Yuu fails, a new one starts over and I'm too sleepy to actually relate this theory to the new events that just transpired.

I think you’re talking about two popular but different theories? 🤔 (Though now it definitely seems like those two theories are converging into one…?)

There were some that believed in the time loop theory. Some powerful entity (usually said to be Crowley) summons new Yuus every time the Yuu from the previous time loop fails and/or dies. It is said that the resets usually occur when Yuu is killed by an Overblot, with the most common “death by Overblot” owing to Grim. Some also embellish the theory with ideas about Crowley’s motives and whether he is a good person or not.

There is an extension of time loop theory—the “Yuu is dead” theory; in “Yuu is dead”, the player character is theorized to be someone who died while crossing the road (yup, an isekai classic; the manga and light novel Yuu all got transported at a crosswalk), and Crowley summoned them into Twisted Wonderland after their passing to serve his own needs. Sometimes people will point to Yuu emerging from a coffin and/or Crowley avoiding the topic of bringing them home (since it’s impossible due to their “dead” status) as proof of Yuu being dead. Both time loop and Yuu is dead theory primarily stem from the many iterations of Yuus across various official TWST media (the manga, the light novel, etc).

Others believed in the dream theory, in which (much like the original Alice in Wonderland), everything in Twisted Wonderland is just a dream that someone is having. There are variations of the dream theory depending on who the dreamer is, but the most common ones I’ve seen assign the designation of dreamer to either Yuu (who has been having prophetic dreams in the main story) and Malleus (whose Disney counterpart is strongly associated with inducing sleep). Sometimes dream theory also includes evidence backed up by Silver, who appears to have some kind of vague association with Yuu and their dreams. It is worth noting that some fans do not like dream theory because they feel that it devalues the experiences had and the relationships formed if nothing was “real”.

As I said before (given what we know of the most recent main story update), it seems like people are now combining different aspects of those two theories to make a new one. The update is still pretty fresh, so I haven’t yet had the time to read up and acclimate myself with the various time loop-dream theory combinations.

One thing that I will note is interesting is??? I remember Yana saying a few years ago that we should treat TWST’s events and vignettes as AUs separate from the main story, and at the time I thought it was to make things easier for the writing team (so they didn’t have to worry about timeline stuff). But now???? I’m wondering if every event and vignette was actually a part of the dream world… The evidence is (sort of??) there!!

I normally wouldn’t include gameplay mechanics as part of a theory (since I compartmentalize meta from the story/characters/lore), but I feel that the gloves are off for this since Malleus initiated what was essentially a fourth-wall break at the end of 7-37 (booting us back to the main screen of Twisted Wonderland after forcing everyone to sleep). The part where he casts his spell is even named “Forced Game Over”, which is very on the nose for a character who is not tied to technology other than being really bad at using it. He also says a lot of foreboding things about how “it would be better for fictional characters to stay as they are forever” (not an exact translation, I’m just generalizing).

AnYWAY, my thought is??? Are the events and/or vignettes meant to be the characters dreaming (not that Malleus necessarily created the dream world, but the dream world is like their collective unconscious and/or everyone having individual dream/their own iterations)???? Because Malleus promises to send them to a world where they can be “heroes”, a place where they can find “happy endings”, where no one has to leave. Most events and/or vignettes have very carefree vibes to them or just generally non-serious conflicts. They’re usually full of tales of carefree school days.

The vignettes and events also being part of the dream world also explains why Lilia (whose magic was supposedly waning is still able to use his quite proficiently), and why some characters who would normally be somewhat hostile towards each other seem more mellowed out in some events (ie Epel and Vil having an amicable relationship in the first Halloween event when they didn’t learn to get along until episode 5, which takes place in late winter). It would also explain why sometimes main story happenings are referenced in vignettes and events, but the vignette and event happenings are not mentioned in the main story. Characters are bringing knowledge of reality into the dreams, but when they “awaken” from those dreams, they cannot recall all the details from them.

Another detail that’s pretty suspicious is the animation that plays when you’re Groovying a card 👁️ 👄 👁️ What covers the screen when you do??? That’s right—thorns, just like when Malleus casted his unique magic. Was this TWST’s indirect way of cluing us in that the whole damn game was just a dream?????? The title whenever we boot up the game was staring at us in the face with the “answer” all along: Twisted Wonderland. A dreamy place full of wonders—but just that, a dream.

xbsjsvwisview. JUST SoMETHING TO THINK ABOUT, I DuNNO 🤡 Sorry for sounding like a college professor lecturing on Disney pretty boys—

[writernopal]

✍Writer Interview✍

Thanks to @teamdilf for tagging me here!

When did you start writing?

Technically, when I was like 15/16. I was writing a little bit back then but I don't remember what I was writing, which sucks. I really wish I remembered! After that I picked writing back up in summer of 2019.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

Yep! I think its kind of limiting to only read the genre you write. There's always stuff you can take from other places and work it into your writing. It can produce some surprising results! That said, my favorites to read are non-fiction and classic works of fiction.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

No and no. There are plenty of authors I admire but I've got a voice of my own and I don't particularly think we need two of anybody.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

So I have two main things I use to write: a desktop computer and a laptop. My desktop is on a desk (surprise, surprise lol) in the corner of a room with two little windows above it. I recently upgraded the setup to have one ultrawide monitor instead of two smaller side-by-side ones to help me focus when I write because I noticed when I was writing on my laptop I'd get more done because I only had one screen. I also have a mechanical keyboard with blank keys for cool points lol. On the wall beside my desk are a bunch of posters and things, some for inspiration, others just because I like them. Of course I've got some pirate/ship themed art there too! With my laptop I kind of take that anywhere, so with that I write on the couch, the dining room, cafes, libraries etc but never in my bed because then I won't sleep. I've been trying to have better sleep hygiene and phone habits in general which is only worth mentioning here because I used to write on my phone but I don't anymore.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Music, but like really listening to it. As in, closing my eyes, not doing anything, and being present as its playing. I'm very in tune with how my body experiences feelings/emotions so doing that will usually make me feel something and from there its just letting my mind wander.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Forbidden/taboo things. It can be anything from interpersonal relationships, oppressive systems, internalized responses to stimuli, etc. Also drawing connections between the world and our environment and the stages of our lives or even things that happening. To me, those things are all connected. And no, they don't surprise me one bit.

What is your reason for writing?

To make sense of the world around me. And to live lives I won't have time for in my short one.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

Anytime someone notices a theme or callback in my work. Which I think has maybe happened once so I do my best not to rely on engagement to motivate me otherwise I think I'd go insane.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

Oh ideally I don't want my readers thinking about me at all lol. I want them thinking about the story and what it makes them feel.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Prose. Especially of the visceral or imagery-heavy variety.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I think its quite strong but I think I've reached the limit of what I can do on my own. I really want to start honing my craft and improving it so I'll probably be taking some courses and/or joining a writing critique group soon.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

I guess I'll say mostly for me. There is 'an audience' in my head but whether those are people who would actually read my stuff or someone I made up, I can't say lol. Also I have to have fun writing something otherwise I won't want to do it so its hard to say I'd want to write for someone else unless they had requested something specific from me.

Tagging (gently): @tabswrites @void-botanist @paintedbutton @sarahlizziewrites @oh-no-another-idea @kanobarlowe and anyone else who wants to play!

[lil-lost-mind]

(This is a bit of a along post about my general experience in the qsmp fandom, both good and bad, and it does mention xenophobia but not direct experiences)

I'm happy to see people here being so nice and reminding that we(Brazilians) are welcome here

I was really hesitant about interacting with fandom at first, I actually was there the Brazilians arrived because suddenly tazercraft live appeared for me on YouTube, I joined for a moment but didn't stay long, but I did look about it later. Because Brazilians youtubers/streamers are on a server with a bunch of people from other countries? I was curious about what this would lead to

Didn't regret it, but since then, I was a bit scared of interacting on fandom. Some comments on clips were fine. But then I started using tumblr because of a friend's recommendation, I kept a look on what was happening on lore on general but didn't really interact on fandom. Hence why I created this blog, and also why it took me so long to link this blog to my main one

Because, well, if I got hate for any reason, it would only be a sideblog that I only posted about qsmp. I could just delete it or just ignore them

I am by nature a person who is very shy to talk about my interests, it might have nothing wrong about it but I'm shy, I'm the type of person who goes on asks box on anon because is too shy, even if I'm not doing anything wrong there's this fear of judgemeent.

In the light of the recent events, I am once again reminded that's why I don't use or plan to use Twitter, but still I couldn't avoid but feel... scared in a way, I don't think anyone would like to be treated that way. And even a bit ashamed of saying that I'm brazilian. Ashamed might not be the right word, but there's this feeling wich is similar, and while I'm proud of being a brazilian, I just... maybe invalidate is a more fitting word, it's just feels like my culture is unimportant compared to others.

And this is what it seems, in my understanding, what looks like suffering from xenophobia is, but I imagine it's worse suffering it directly ofc, and ironically, I don't think I ever felt like that for those reasons before. And while I can't talk about how it feels when suffering from it directly, I feel bad for the people who had to go through it(not only Brazilians). Nobody should feel ashamed of their culture or ethnicity

Ofc tumblr isn't free of people like that. After all, no social media will be free from intolerance. But it feels like it's harder to see it. But I can't emphasize enough how it makes me happy to see so many people saying their blog is a safe place for us. After seeing this stuff, it makes things better, for me, at least. It reminds me that my culture isn't less important than any other

And qsmp brought something beautiful, the unity of communities. Because even with those bad things happening, it's not the only thing in fandom, it happens, and any fandom has this, unfortunately. But I love to see every time someone talks about their culture, facts about their languages, to see people motivated in learning new languages. It's beautiful and makes me happy each time

I don't regret making myself part of the fandom, the opposite, really, I've met creators that I would have never without the qsmp. I've met amazing people there, I've found incredible artists and writers. I've had fun

I've found the motivation to learn new languages again, more passion to draw

And I'm thankful to everyone there who is incredibly nice and so made me more comfortable interacting here, even if they will probably never know

So despite everything, I think it was worth it

Was worth reading character analysis and theories, enjoying stories, seeing fanart and animatics, learning new language facts and about other cultures. Was worth seeing people being happy

Again, I'm very thankful for all the people who made me, and I'm going to assume a lot of other people who needed to hear that, comfortable and validate here, I can't express how much this made me happy, I hope everyone coming from twitter have a good time here<3

And a very big and sincere "VAI TOMAR NO CU" to any xenophobic and racist person

I know very few people will see this, or even read everything, but I had to say this somewhere, so yeah, I'm rambling on tumblr again:D

[average-bb-poke-whisperer]

Hey keiran, so my munchlax just recently evolved and while I've got the basics down (plenty of space and food) I'm not exactly sure where to go from here.

Now he's evolved I'm planning to bring him onto my proper battling team, but I don't wanna accidentally overwork him. You're an expert on pokemon right? Any advice?

Oooo a snorlax! They're a tricky pokemon to get to work, but well worth it competitively I hear. They're HIGHLY food motivated so I recommend training it by rewarding it food after any battle, it will incentivize it to put in more effort in battle.

Its hard to overwork a snorlax, as they're not really a pokemon that will budge. If a snorlax doesnt want to do something, it wont, simple as that. Its a good idea every few battled to check in with your pokemon though, making sure they're still doing well.

uhh tldr: Food motivation and praise will go along way for any pokemon. But in general its always a good idea to check in on them to make sure they're feeling well!

[palettepainter]

Going on a wee break

Sorry for the lack of actual art/stories as of late. As I mentioned in a post from a few days ago, me and my family have recently returned from a small holiday and my birthday passed on the 22nd. While they both ended up being enjoyable experiences, birthdays in the last few years have not been the easiest things for me to hype myself up for, and I'm also someone who struggles to sleep in new environments so my scleep schedule - though usually a bit all over the place - has been pretty rough as I've been readjusting to being home

Outside of art, my journey to getting an autism diagnosis has been making small but steady progress. I've sought out the help from an Autism Specialist Strategy Coach who was also the first person I ever spoke to about mental health, they along with one other person are going to be writing a letter to my doctor which, alongside certain mannerisms and routines I have lived with my whole life, will hopefully be enough for me to get a diagnosis. I'm hoping to also try and get one for depression, as the fact my doctor mentioned in our last phone call that it could be a possibility makes it feel like it's worth looking into further

With that going on in the background August is also just a generally busy month for my family, with two other family birthdays only a week apart and my parents Wedding Anniversary it's a very demanding month.

I've been left on my own while my parents and siblings go out to hang out with friends or to have dinner with friends and that also has been pretty upsetting. Not the fact that they're going out with friends, but more so the fact that it feels like, in a way, I'm missing out. As you can likely guess it's left me with very low motivation for work and has left me feeling overly critical of my writing

It's very likely I'll be both drawing and writing in my free time, because I am being honest when I say that is literally all I do outside of work and has all I've really ever done, but I don't feel up to posting anything currently. I can't make promises and say I'll be working on the things you all voted to see next from me (Penny and Lazer's parent and the next chapter of Fever) and I can't guarantee when I'll next post

This of course does not include commission work as that's paid work and I don't want to keep those who have made a purchase waiting

[antares-8]

hello! i recently finished rereading the pilgrim's progress and honestly, it's some of (if not the) best beast!wirt fic i've ever read! there's a lot of stuff that i've realized makes it so good, especially after giving it more than one read through.

first of all, beatrice's characterization throughout the whole series is AMAZING and feels really accurate to the show. she's angry and almost always ready and willing to punch a man, but that's only part of her character. like, i've seen a decent bit of otgw fic where she just gets reduced down to "the angry one" but in tpp, her other emotions get the spotlight too sometimes and it makes her feels so real and human. she's determined and stubborn and willing to go to the ends of the earth for the people she cares about and you can really feel it!! she's her own person with her own stuff to deal with and it makes her so interesting in this series. i think she's possibly my favorite character.

(also, in writing that paragraph about beatrice i realized that tpp, or at least the arc with the witches, has a lot to do with grief and anger. this is more of a half-formed thought, but the way they're fairly consistent elements throughout and fit in perfectly with its other themes. i'm not exactly sure what else to say about this since i haven't put much thought into it until just now, but it's definitely something i like about it, although it's more of a personal preference.)

characters in general are one of tpp's strong suits, i think! the ocs created for this series are amazing without detracting from the main cast. felicity sticks out to me in particular, likely because we get to see things from her perspective. her motives manage to be understandable without detracting from the sense that she's in the wrong. also, shoutout to peg-leg polly, whose character description is amazingly evocative, as well as literally everything else about her. 10/10, no notes.

i think something else tpp does amazingly is all the "side" stuff. not "side" as in, like, subplots (this is all pretty much main plot, which is part of why it's so great), but as in "not the first thing you think of when you think of a beast!wirt au." "weren't you someone's son" is possibly the best example of this. we get to see how wirt's family is affected personally, something that's so often ignored. and it's a *whole main plot thing*--they never get fully shoved off to the side. the same goes with the unknown's reactions to wirt as the "new beast"--it's not glossed over. in fact, it's one the things the story is based around. tpp is BUILT around the stuff that's not immediately obvious, and it really makes it stand out in the best way possible.

and somewhat relatedly, wirt's character arc, about CHOOSING to stay in the unknown, is so good! it takes 30 works and tens of thousands of words until he fully admits it to himself but the payoff is so, so worth it. the line at the end of "to wind thy soul" where wirt says he *wants* to stay is built up so beautifully. it's another one of those things that makes tpp so unique and amazing.

and last, but definitely not least, is the WORLDBUILDING. there's a lot to say about it, but i love your version of the unknown!! it feels so real and alive, and the people in it do too. it really manages to capture the feeling of the original show--there's darkness, but it's not ALL sad times and eldritch horror, and some things are even a bit silly. and the way the unknown keeps on feeling mysterious even as we learn more and more about it is impressive. the fact that some things are mentioned but never expanded upon (like the beast-cult or the wars against nature) is far from a flaw here--they make the unknown feel like a real place, and help keep up the sense of mystery, magic, and a long history by sounding so interesting while being left mostly up-in-the-air. and the idea of using edelwood to cleanse corruption is also so good. like, if i force myself to look at it from a doylist perspective, i can say that it might exist to avoid a moral quandary which would seriously hurt everything that tpp is trying to say (although honestly, i don't think that it's a bad thing if that's the case; i love worldbuilding but making sure it plays nice with story and message is important, often moreso than making it feel "good"), but i have to force myself to think like that. while reading, it's foreshadowed well and feels so natural that i sometimes forget it was created for this series. and that's just one part of the worldbuilding! so much of this version of the unknown feels so in line with everything the show gives us, and there's so much attention to detail. it's so fantastic and i love it!!

also, a couple small details i noticed (and are appreciated):

in "all that was lost," enoch says that he can tell beatrice + greg where wirt is if they stay the night, and in "wish i was a shadow" it's mentioned that enoch vists the queen of the clouds a lot. did. did enoch ask the queen of the clouds where wirt was for beatrice and greg?

in "only one thing" greg mentions that he's sure that the cloak wirt gave him is enchanted, and in "gone to the tree" wirt mentions that he'd only tried to imbue something with his protection once before. did wirt enchant greg's cloak?? if so that's ADORABLE. wirt really loves greg huh?

anyway, yeah, the pilgrim's progress is amazing!! i didn't realize that i had this much to say about it, but it honestly deserves all the praise i can throw at it. there are some other small things that i love, but this is getting pretty long as it is. i can't wait for the next update, and i hope that you're doing well!! <3

First off, thank you for making my day! (And hopefully inspiring me finally finish the next installment. One can hope, right?) I always love to hear from readers, especially readers who enjoy my work.

Beatrice is a lot of fun to write. She accepts no nonsense (except when she doles it out to get something), her first impulse is violence, and she's fiercely loyal to all those she loves. Plus, some of her reactions to Wirt are just hilarious. She knows enough to realize how weird--or perhaps extraordinary--he really is.

I wanted to say something about how family was important in the show (the bluebirds, the brothers), but the truth is that I really like outsider POV and the parents gave me a good opportunity to play with that. That can remain our secret.

Sometimes, I feel like this entire series is just one big exercise in worldbuilding. Because the Beast is so well-known (and feared), I have to think about how the new Beast interacts with the world in general and how the world's reactions reflect back onto the character. That being said, I've still got a few headcanons that I'd like to explore.

Both of your theories regarding small details are correct. Enoch asked the Queen of the Clouds where to find Wirt waaaay back in the beginning, and Wirt added a few enchantments to the cloak before giving it to Greg. The enchantments... well, let's just say that no one will ever try to bully Greg while he's wearing it.

Unfortunately, I can't say for certain when the next update will be out. The next one is a new arc (or maybe it will be the one after that, because I've got another WIP that could become part 31 instead), so I've been obsessively tweaking it to get everything set up correctly.

As Wirt says to the people who try to drive him out of their town with torches and pitchforks, have a nice day!

[celestie0]

what do you think about grad school and maybe getting a masters or phd? like for you😭 i’m curious what more do you feel about academia

hiii bb!! ouu yeah i think with the way things are in job market rn, at least for a science degree, having a masters is a MUST and phd too if you want to teach or go into research...just an undergraduate degree for any STEM job i have noticed doesn't suffice unless you're like a comp sci major or have hella connections or something lmfaooo (or if you're a trust fund baby)

i'm actually going to med school so my four years of undergrad were spent working towards that goal, and not really with thoughts of phd or masters, but i did think about doing a masters during my gap year (which would've been this past year) since my school offered a few one years masters programs that i was interested in. it was gonna be a sort of back up plan for me in case i didn't get in anywhere, but ultimately i just had faith in my application n didn't want to spend money on a year of masters tuition haha

but it's hard for me to say for other fields, such as humanities, on what i think of the necessities of masters/phd programs...i'd imagine it's the same though, you'd probably need to pursue a lot of higher education to be qualified to teach or publish etc. in premed, you've got options of going to nursing school, PA school, med school, so i guess there are ways to pivot that don't involve masters programs if you still wanted to be a healthcare provider

i did watch an interesting video recently about the whole trap of the phd/masters pipeline, where students get a degree and think they'll be able to land a decent job post grad from wishful thinking, spend lots of time unsuccessful in the job market, then scramble to apply to grad school, and then even if they feel as though the phd program they're in isn't really giving them what they want from it, they don't want to quit because at that point it'll feel like sunken cost, and it damages their mental health and motivation and is basically this recurring loop where the system forces students to continuously stay in school and do excessive amount of research/work for criminally low compensation, just to become overqualified candidates for barely minimally paying jobs. ofc all in the name to benefit the insanely rich and wealthy. honestly most grad students i meet are stressed and so incredibly jaded, i can't imagine that it's easy on them at all. a lot of universities hardly pay them any sort of livable wage for the work that they do

as for academia in general, i think it's worth it to become educated, as it can open doors. obviously there are different paths for all people, some people choose not to go to school, some people go to trade school, others go to school much later in life. i remember i worked w this one doctor who was a mechanic for thirty years and he went back to school to get his undergrad degree and then went to med school, all while he was in his 50s, and now he's a practicing physician! i thought that was really incredible and inspiring. school is something that's there for you whenever you want it, need it, or feel ready for it. i think it's worthy to invest in your education, but you have to go into it knowing that you're going to make the most of it. in that, pursue higher education if you have a plan of why you're there and what you're going to do when you're there, and not just for the sake of earning a degree or putting off working because you'd rather just stay a student. the reason why someone from harvard might work at the same job as someone who went to community college is ultimately because the person who went to CC might've made more of their experience n harnessed connections/skills n probably had a much more clear idea of what they wanted to do with the education they were earning compared to someone who might've been coasting through a reputable school because once they got in, that was all they cared about (lol i sound bitter saying this, no hate to big name schools, but it's such a common misconception that just because you get a degree from like an ivy league, you'll be set for life. and same applies vice versa. some of the smartest ppl i know are people who did CC for two years and then transferred to a four year university. they saved hella money and got the same degree in the end, with the same exact if not better job opportunities. similarly, i've worked at clinics/hospitals where some of the doctors went to UCLA and others went to caribbean med school, but they all ended up at the same place in the end)

GOD THIS BECAME SO LONG i swear whenever i answer asks on my computer it becomes an essay loool but yea these are just my general opinions about college, higher education, and academia in general? i hope this answers and that i didn't misinterpret the question hahah but thank u for the ask bb!!

[thewatercolours]

OK, continuing @telthor's shop talk questions, because I'm no longer falling asleep and striving too hard to answer questions precisely.

What's your favourite trope?

... resisting the urge to read the entirety of TV Tropes just to make sure I answer accurately. Um, taking this question in the sense it was undoubtedly meant, where favourite doesn't necessarily mean ultimate favourite for time and eternity, and I will not be held to my answer in this life or the next, and also in the sense of tropes I actually use recurrently in fic, here are a few:

Being royal is really tricky and intertwines with relatable human struggles in interesting ways.

Quality time! (and by extension: Just being there for someone is worth so, so much, even if you have no solutions to offer)

Something's gradually messing with your memory/mind

You are more loved than you can make yourself believe.

You are sleepy. You're soooo sleeeeeepy

Let's scaffold the worldbuilding just a tiny bit. Turns out everyone's jobs are multi-faceted, your own backyard is bigger than you think, the world carries on regardless of you, traditions exist, consequences ensue.

Don't make decisions from a place of shame or fear

Now dance.

What if we somehow played "surprisingly realistic outcome" and "cartoon physics" in the same scene?

Your worst fears are worth facing

(Poor but earnest attempts at) Fridge brilliance/rewatch bonus

You love your found family AND your birth family! Awesome! You don't need either/or?

Let me return to the subject, yet again (I know,) of that one time that you turned green

You're not a failure

Flailing, blushing, pushing aside the sharp comments you could have made, emphasizing every word, scowling, gasping, doing something gingerly/gingering as a verb. Just, just, just, just, just, word of all time, just. And did I mention we are going to express all this in the wordiest, most pretentious way we can? If it's not dialogue only!

You wear pajamas in canon, but not under my roof! Here you get a nightshirt, always! Because for some reason, in this anachronism stew, pajamas are the historical "error" that I can't bring myself to write.

What do you love and dislike about writing in general?

I love honouring God through the glory of creativity (which imitates Him) the sheer fun of it, getting to combine something I enjoy inm itself with my desire to storytell, the community aspect, the satisfying breakthroughs, all the brainstorming fun from conversations to music, revisiting my own writing and really enjoying it, feeling like a writer even though my original novel is languishing, encouraging comments, taking people by surprise with my writerly moments and schemes I hate lack of motivation, some aspects of my writing voice/lack of skill, moments when I'm tempted to make it all about my ego and then only just barely get pulled out of that bog like Frodo falling into the dead marshes in

Where do you get your ideas?

From a little shop in Schenectady! ;-) Well, there's three main ways, I suppose, from worst to best.

"Riding the Coattails." This often happens when I'm still feeling the rush of getting a comment, and I just want to do it all over again. This usually involved sitting down and deciding in a rather workaday fashion, "Which character would I enjoy writing about? What feel do I want to come out of the scene? What's a scenario that would bring up that feeling? What would contrast with other recent scenes?" You would think this rational, thinking based approach would lead to the best thought-out scenes, but it usually doesn't, because at the back of it all is a smidge of impatience to have it done and posted. These are the ones I bang out in one evening, tend to be careless with, and don't actually leave a strong impression on me. I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with this approach, but it leaves a lot to be desired (and if I'm not careful, can wander by the perilous border of a validation mindset.)

"Riffing." This is my most common way of stumbling into ideas. This comes from mentally playing with concepts I'm already enthusiastic about - from game, from fanon, from a piece of art, from previous scenes I've done. Daydreaming how things might continue, exploring emotional consequences, explaining throwaway lines, just wanting to write more of this dynamic or that and putting them under the daydream microscope. Just riffing off things until something demands to get written.

"Leafmeal." I think it was Tolkien who said absolutely everything you put into your mind becomes part of a compost heap and eventually flowers kind of spring out of it spontaneously? And all the influences in that heap just blend together and you can't really tell what grew what? I am worse than I used to be at letting myself get bored, but when I do, leafmeal ideas that don't seem like simple riffs eventually show up. Some examples that came without any conscious attempt to daydream: the image of Graham having a human hand and an inhuman hand, sitting on top of a lift (how did the elevator come into it? I don't know.); the tollbooth itself; a fairy narrating the process of falling asleep in second person (we're not there yet, but you can fill in the blanks.)

[nerves-nebula]

Are you ever you ever insecure about your art? And could you explain you answer to that?

Venting to you now

Drawing has taken a lot of effort for me, more than usual recently. I started working on something I originally felt really passionate about. It's more common for me to very quickly give up or get bored so I was really excited to be able to post some artwork. But I ended up not liking the result and I'm not sure if I'm willing to try something else. I've given up on trying in a lot of parts of life to try and save energy to do something I thought I was passionate about (art) but I am still lacking the motivation. The reason I reason I really wanted to share it was because I'm terrible with self-motivation. If I can't make at least one person genuinely go 'oh, neat' even for just a second and even if they soon forgot later, I'd feel like I'd have a reason to keep living (to keep making art). If the only people who'd see it end up disappointed I'd want to disappear.

It's not what art should be. I know it's value is like a person's. It's worth more than how someone reacts to it, right? But I can't apply that rule to myself. I should seek support from the people who 'know' and actually care about me, but I don't want their appreciation. I want some imagery status of a 'good artist' because that's what seems to give me dopamine.

I also wanted to mention how much I admire how open you are with your struggles. I want to be the same but I'm scared of people thinking less of me. I know that's dumb but I don't know what I'm good for if I can't make people happy. If I'm not going to be content with myself I want to not be a nuisance at least. I like to think that if I stopped caring about my impression on people, I'd be better off. But I'm scared that I'd have to learn to like myself. I don't like myself and I have no interest in liking myself. I don't see the point.

oh boy, this is gonna be a long one. also, don't take anything i say too seriously, i don't know your situation and I'm barely an adult. anyway, response under the cut

soo lately I'm less insecure about my art and more frustrated when things don't come out well. but i still post that shit !!! I'm still insecure if i'm doing, say, a project for homework, and i don't think i did as well as I could have, but in my personal artistic endeavors it's more about getting it done than it being perfect (for example, my webcomic! my motto is any comic made is better than no comic made and if people don't like that then it wasn't for them in the first place)

the thing about me is that drawing and art and stories is all i've ever had. it's my main form of interacting with the world. these days i make art the same way I live, which is to say in spite of wanting to kill myself. I would LIKE if my art was perfect, and i would LIKE to not be in pain. but i AM in pain and i have to live anyway, and my art ISN'T perfect but i'll make it anyway.

and i like when other people's art isn't perfect either, when it isnt super polished. I think that definitely helped. seeing artists whose work i fell head over heels for when it's never been more than sketches and a bit of shading. it really cemented in my mind that it isn't art being technically perfect that makes it worth while.

i've gotten a lot of people saying kind things to me, saying how much they enjoy my art and my blog in general. and though it doesn't always help, it sometimes inspires me to imagine the number of people who appreciate my stuff who might never mention it to me. I myself am used to lurking and not interacting very much (a habit I'm trying to change since I know artists & creators love feedback most of the time) i know it sucks to not know if anyone gives a shit for sure, but you really can't make that your only reason for doing art, cuz half the time you prolly wont even know if your art deeply affects people or not. it's fine to want that attention but you gotta have something else goin on too, at least I do.

i also know the fear of worrying that you'll lock yourself into something you don't want to do, or something you'll lose passion for. for me, I generally rotate a cast of characters & interests around for years a time before making significant progress. There were spans of times where I'd go years without thinking about loose stitches, but none of that time developing other stories & characters was wasted. it gave loose stitches enough time to properly cook, and the story is still developing under my hands as i draw it, influenced by my other stories and other characters.

it's ok to abandon something and pick it up again years later, or to never pick it up again at all. it's ok to hate the way something turns out but to keep making it anyway because you have to move forward (at least, I do)

moving forward despite not liking the original product is the only way to progress, I think. I don't super like a lot of the first pages of loose stitches but I'm still grateful that past-me posted them because that means present me is at page 76 !!

If I can't make at least one person genuinely go 'oh, neat' even for just a second and even if they soon forgot later, I'd feel like I'd have a reason to keep living (to keep making art). If the only people who'd see it end up disappointed I'd want to disappear.

the problem with this mindset (in my opinion) is that some people aren't going to like your art and that's got nothing to do with the art itself. if you want to find people who go "oh, neat" then you have to keep posting until they see it. trust me, they're out there. like, i don't post for people who can't stand the idea of child abuse, i post to FIND people who want to interact with stories about child abuse the same way i do.

it would be insane to stop trying to find those people because someone else was disappointed or upset by my art. which isn't to say you gotta lock yourself into doing one thing, but that you gotta post what you care about, and people who also care will find it. posting fandom stuff with the same themes as your original art certainly doesn't hurt either, if you REALLY want to find those people faster.

It's not what art should be. I know it's value is like a person's. It's worth more than how someone reacts to it, right? But I can't apply that rule to myself. I should seek support from the people who 'know' and actually care about me, but I don't want their appreciation. I want some imagery status of a 'good artist' because that's what seems to give me dopamine.

art should be literally whatever. it's worth is literally whatever you want, it can be a big deal or not. i'm not sure what part of being a "good artist" gives your brain the Good Feelings juice but I'd investigate that feeling more and try to figure out the roots of it, cuz then you might actually be able to figure out what it is that motivates you. approval is nice, yes, but i like approval for things i enjoyed making even more.

I also wanted to mention how much I admire how open you are with your struggles. I want to be the same but I'm scared of people thinking less of me. I know that's dumb but I don't know what I'm good for if I can't make people happy. If I'm not going to be content with myself I want to not be a nuisance at least. I like to think that if I stopped caring about my impression on people, I'd be better off. But I'm scared that I'd have to learn to like myself. I don't like myself and I have no interest in liking myself. I don't see the point.

i always find it amusing when people refer to my "struggles" if only because I don't really consider them that way. to me it's just like, a thing that happened that sucks. i don't consider myself "struggling" with it, even though I guess that's what's happening. also, let's be real here, it's not like I'm using my real name. this is an anonymous tumblr blog. though, my openess on here has actually lead to me making more art about it IRL so. eh.

anyway, lucky for you, you can stop caring about what other people think without necessarily liking yourself! for me, it's about spite (sort of). I don't like myself much more than I used to, I just decided I hated everyone else more haha. I still care what people think about me, and I'm still scared of what people might do to me, but I'm also not bending over backwards to please people i dislike. I just get annoyed at them instead.

i did this basically just by repeating it until it became true, lol. there's only so many times you can petulantly say "well fuck those guys anyway they suck" before it becomes your true first reaction.

at some point, i decided i needed to pick and choose who i wanted to please, because it can't be everyone. that's just literally not possible. so i looked at the kinds of people i liked and appreciated, and basically disregarded everyone else. it's the whole "don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't take advice from" thing (not sure where that comes from)

obviously you should probably try to internalize the idea that you even HAVE to be "good for something" but that's way easier said than done. i find it more useful to devote yourself to finding a few things (causes, people, philosophies, niche interests) instead of just general usefulness. because then you can form stronger relationships, be useful, AND not burn yourself out trying to please everyone.

take all this advice with a grain of salt though, I definitely need therapy and this Bitter Angry Defensive persona will probably need to be deconstructed soon... idk. i think it's outlived its usefulness to me but i'm not sure what to do next hahah.

sorry if none of this was helpful or the point. im not even sure why i wrote this much, i kind of just ramble sometimes. i hope you figure it out!

[the-lonelybarricade]

how is your creative process while writing? and specially how do you deal with having started more than one multi chapter fic? I never really wrote a whole fic but a was trying to for feysand week, but I ended up not having time

I can’t say if the problem is that it’s a multi chapter fic and I end up not knowing where to go and what to focus on first. And there’s always another ideia for other chapter or fic that’s usually impractical.

I think anxiety is a big problem to, knowing there’s something I should finish but can’t even focus enough on what I have at the moment.

I feel this anon, I was also trying to write a whole fic for Fyesand week and ended up not having time 😂 I did the same for Elucien week, too, which is why I'm now a purveyor of so many WIPs at the moment

When it comes to juggling them, I think I update mostly based off of: 1) which piece has gone without an update the longest and 2) which piece I'm feeling the most motivated to work on. Sometimes it's kind of nice to be able to jump between stories to be able to work on whichever one is scratching my brain the most. I always lean into whatever I'm feeling most inspired about so that I'm working with my brain instead of against it.

As far as getting stuck, I find I always struggle with multichapter fics if I don't know where I'm going with them. I write my fics chronologically, but I always start knowing the ending or the general trajectory the fic will take. Sometimes I outline fics before I start, which is always helpful even though I almost always divert from the outline.

So if it were me, and I was struggling with not knowing where to go next or what to focus on with a fic, I would start by creating an outline of the story (or even just the chapter itself). How does it end? What are your characters working towards? How does the story change them? I think those things will help guide you, though obviously you still have to actually write the chapters which is the hardest part.

I've found recently that when I'm really stuck, it helps to start with writing just the dialogue for the chapter. I don't use dialogue tags or any descriptors, I just write line by line how the dialogue will flow and once that's done, I go back and add in all the rest. I find that usually about 1k worth of dialogue can generally end up being about 4k-ish words once I've gone back and added all the rest.

[fatedtime]

Can you explain what you were talking about with the whole author intent vs. reader intent surrounding LB2 criticisms? I kind of get it since a lot of LB2 opinions I've seen are proposals for alternate paths the story could have taken/character shuffles (I remember "swap Beo and Napo" was hugely popular back when the LBs first came to NA), but I haven't really seen much recently/it still feels kinda off from what you alluded to. Maybe. Just pickin your brain a bit, if ya don't mind.

Okay, so, first I'm going to stipulate that I haven't read Lostbelt 2 since it's release, so my recollections on its specific themes (or, what I gathered from it, because I find Lostbelt 2 to be kind of muddled generally) are going to be inexact.

The simplest way I can explain it though is how fandom treats Skadi. Skadi is a pretty widely-hated character, characterization wise. I think, in terms of passion of how much the people who hate her do hate her, she's matched by extremely abrasive characters like Medb. I've heard tons of people talking about rewriting Skadi, tons of people emphasizing distaste for her direction, and METRIC shittons of people dismissing anything the author wanted to say with her as 'she's waifubait', without taking any time to actually dissect the intention behind her. Conversation around Skadi immediately devolves into assuming nothing about her themes has any narrative value, and that the totality of her builds into one thing: Skadi only exist for men to sexualize her.

This is sexism, full-stop, but plenty of other essays exist that dissect fandom culture and the tendency to put no effort into analyzing mediocre female-characters while fixating heavily on mediocre male characters, fleshing them out and developing them far beyond what actually exists in the source material.

Which like, I think Skadi is a mediocre female character, but every time I've seen Skadi discussed, it is with two motivations: either to dismiss her as a waifu, or throw her personality out entirely in a 'rewrite', discounting every single thing the author is trying to say with her and putting the reader's own desired Skadi in its place. These rewrites tend to make her 'cooler' and give her 'more agency' without understanding that Skadi's lack of agency is the point.

Lostbelt 2 is Ophelia's Lostbelt, a character defined almost entirely by her own lack of agency and her romantic fixation on a man who doesn't really care about her best interests. She exists as a satellite to him, doing his bidding and entirely willing to sacrifice herself for him, without any hope of reward. She wants what he wants. Her dreams are his dreams.

Skadi parallels this.

She's a woman who, in her Lostbelt, is so paralyzed by the weight put upon her that, in lieu of making any real decisions, instead constructs a world of child-farms. Skadi and Ophelia are both infantile in their decision-making ability; they defer entirely to other people (or, the lost images of another person.) These are clearly meant to be toxic relationships, and LB2 is a story about relationships and what happens when the parties within them are emotionally immature. How if you can't grow up, you can't live, and will make it impossible for those around you to grow and live as well.

This is why the story has sympathy for Skadi, too. It's a fucking awful position to be in, and getting mad at people who are emotionally stunted is an exercise in fucking futility. The world has failed them, of course they'd fail others. The world has failed them -- what is the point in another goddamn revenge fantasy of punishing a woman who wasn't given the tools to live as an independent being? Society itself tells women that enough already, while also telling them that they have no worth outside the men they serve. There are enough stories about it in the world.

The stuff with Surtr, the stuff with Napoleon is all about relationships -- positive and negative, cold and hot, immature and mature, healing and hurting. I firmly don't like the idea of swapping Napo out for Beowulf because Napoleon exists to be like, the ideal of Napoleon's hope and freedom. It's this ultra-positive idea of self-actualization and belief in yourself. Beowulf just... doesn't... have that? I feel like it's another thing that exists without considering what would be better for the characters already existing.

Now. Do I think the various characters and their relationships are like, examined well and the ultimate thematic core of it conveyed well? E.....eeeeeeeeeeh. I mean, I've already said I think Skadi is mediocre, and ultimately, I don't like the story. But when approaching suggestions of what to change, I'd want to keep the author's intent in mind, because it's not my story. It's hers. Its what she wanted to do. Examining it through a different lens, with different ideas, and theorizing on how these ideas could be reflected and transformed into other things is valuable, but can only really effectively done with the heart of the writer is taken into consideration first.

This is something I think fandom generally has trouble with. Online fandom and the relationship to creators that has developed is like, deeply, toxicly fucked up. Those who create have been dehumanized to such an extreme extent, their so-called fans stripping them of any humanity and consuming their content in pure, decadent self-absorption, that no thought goes into the hearts of those who put their work out into the world. Idolized or demonized or forgotten, if you create and share it, you are doomed to having your watermarks filed off, your intentions disregarded or maligned, your work fed to AI to be regurgitated en-mass, and all manner of assumptions placed into the void of your privacy as people slander you, harass you, or glorify you into an inhuman caricature of yourself.

Like, THE REASON IT IS NO LONGER STATED WHAT AUTHOR WROTE WHAT STORY-CHAPTERS IN FGO IS BECAUSE OF THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO SENT SAKURAI FUCKING DEATH THREATS. ANY DISCUSSION OF SKADI AND HER INTENT AS A CHARACTER, ANY NEGATIVE ASSUMPTIONS MADE ABOUT WHY SHE WAS WRITTEN THAT WAY, IS WRITTEN ABOUT A WOMAN WHO WAS TOLD EN-MASS TO GO DIE FOR HER WORK, SIMPLY FOR THE CRIME OF A GACHA GAME CHAPTER BEING KINDA BAD.

When talking about her ideas, her stories, her characters, just... think of Sakurai as a human being, please. That's what I mean with all this, a generalized plea to remember that every story was penned by a living, breathing human being. Creators and their characters aren't thought of as people anymore, and analyzing a character or story while paying no regard to them or what they were trying to say fucking sucks. There's value in examining how you'd approach something, but editing someone's work and saying 'I did it better!' is cruel. Dismissing the writing of women by calling them waifus, talking about how 'clearly, the author was stupid and didn't take any time to research' about new story-chapters, without yourself thinking through what the author could have been trying to say with it is... just... treating people like they're soulless sacks of flesh meant for you to dispense content as it pleases you.

No creator in this world gets paid enough for that horseshit.

-- Thank you so much for the question! This wasn't inspired by any kind of immediate take I saw, by the way, I was just trying to dissect the authorial intent of Mephistopheles in the last JP event and got to thinking a bit about LB2, Skadi, and how even if I don't like her, I viscerally hate it whenever LB2 comes up on Beast's Lair.

[loregoddess]

2, 3, 8, and 19 for the fandom game, for any fandom(s) you feel like talking about :)

(for 3, fic and/or meta posts, can't actually remember if you've posted straight up fic before haha)

2. My favorite fic from the fandom that I’ve read

I haven't read a ton of fic sadly (although I haven't read a lot in general the last few years due to college making me read So Many academic papers and books that I got burnt out and haven't quite recovered my love of reading. Yet). Although, my friend @lookerdewitt has written literally some of the best fic I have ever read, so I would probably say one of their fics.

3. My favorite fic from the fandom that I’ve written myself

I have actually sort of written fanfic (both legit fanfic, and also a few "thinly veiled technically fanfic if you changed the names" for a fiction writing class that I had to write several stories for and wanted to see if I could get away with it), but I haven't actually. Shared those fics with anyone? Partly bc I have historically almost never finished any fiction writing project that I have started, ever, and partly bc I'm just shy about sharing my writing in general.

I have been working on a LoZ fancomic idea for the past uhhhh four or five years (technically last decade since I first came up with the idea in late high school and then had it sit in the back of my head for several years bc all I had was a setting and a handful of characters), and I have never in my life stuck with a project this long, so I guess that would be my favorite from my personal works bc it's apparently something I care about enough to not abandon entirely. I've actually made a decent amount of progress on my "detailed outline" recently, so here's hoping I can stick it out and actually get to the script and then to drawing pages one day.

For meta posts I think my favorite is actually my analysis of the Octopath 1 cast and how the major antagonists in each of their stories acts as a mirror and foil to each character. I really enjoy analyzing stories in general, but I so rarely write it out, so I was happy to actually do so for once. Gave me a lot of confidence for all the other meta and headcanon posts that I wrote afterwards.

There's also a Legend of Dragoon meta post sitting partly-finished in my drafts where I analyze themes surrounding each dragoon spirit and its wielders, which I haven't finished bc I only remember to work on it when I'm doing my yearly replay of LoD, and also bc it started looking like it might need to be a series of posts due to uh....length. Like I make a lot of lengthy posts, but each dragoon spirit's analysis was about a short essay's worth of words, and there are eight spirits soooo....hopefully I'll finish that one day, bc it's an analysis I've spent years thinking about.

8. Is there anything I wish people would write more about in fics? (A dynamic, an exploration of an arc, just a character that doesn’t get much screentime, etc)

I'm always a sucker for post-canon healing/recovery/rebuilding arcs. Can't get enough of them honestly (when I have the motivation to read). There's something so fascinating about looking at a character who Went Through Some Stuff, but the main narrative didn't look at the effects of that, and so a dedicated writer took up the challenge of trying to explore what comes after.

Most of my favorite characters are weird side characters who don't get a lot of love from the writers of canon or fans, so I'm always glad to see stuff for them as well.

19. Favorite headcanon

Oh hmmm, there's a lot and it depends on which media we're talking about, so if you're curious about a specific game let me know. Off the top of my head though hmm...

Okay I have this headcanon that Milo TriStrat snorts when she laughs genuinely. Like sure she's got the ladylike proper, cute laugh that's part of her spy job and totally fake, but when she is being fully honest and laughing for real, she snorts.

[lord-squiggletits]

Hiii Some time ago you wrote that you feel pretty lonely among content makers. Because they go silent or fixate on other fandoms.

And, it is worth noting, your energy can really be envied. Damn, where does such a strong source come from?

Hiii

The good news is I don't feel quite as lonely as I used to. I had a bad experience with a troll/stalker during my first year or two in the fandom, which really made me feel like I couldn't go anywhere in fandom spaces without risk of being attacked. Luckily in recent times, I've made a lot more friends and gotten into more social spaces (safe ones, with people who understand the need for online safety), and now I talk to a lot of people and feel a lot less lonely. Also, I feel like my perseverance in continuing to make IDW MegOP fanfic has been rewarded in a way. A lot of people in TF spaces actually recognize me based on my fics or want to hear more about my ideas in general. It feels as if, thanks to me holding onto my creativity and writing, I have more ways to connect to the fandom (or even bring people into the fandom!) and thus my loneliness isn't so bad as it was before. I survived all of that crap and it was worth it.

Although I would never say no to more people writing IDW MegOP especially people who really like IDW Optimus and care about him being in character...

As for my high energy levels, I'm really flattered you think so! I think it's partially because I'm just naturally an energetic person and I like to keep myself busy, because generally the busier I am the more momentum I have to keep making things. The more fun I have, and the more things I accomplish, the more motivated I am to keep working and having fun. I also have a lot of willpower and self-discipline to make goals and set them. For example, I try to write every single day of the week even if it's only a few words, and I've recently been trying to draw every day as well. It's just part of who I am do always be doing stuff.

[mikuni14]

Only Friends Ep 10

My problem with OF is that I don't feel the romance/love in this show at all. This is also a good thing, because thanks to it I can watch this series without emotional involvement. And watching a series with so much malice, nastiness AND emotional investment would not be good for my well-being and I would definitely have to stop.

I don't feel or see love between the characters, I see obsessions, toxic relationships, lots of delusion and even more nastiness and immature behavior. WHICH IS FINE, don't get me wrong, such series are also cool. Personally, I don't mind problematic stories, most of my fav manga are like that 😉 But as I read these stories, or watch them on the screen, I see that despite everything problematic, there is a powerful feeling there, and it drives me crazy.

Why am I mentioning this? Because OF, despite its engaging plot, cannot sell me the feelings between the characters. I sit down with each episode wondering: what stupid, bad thing are they going to come up with today? NEVER waiting for the next stage of the relationship/development of feelings between the characters. But it's STILL FINE, in an interesting, innovative way, because I don't know if I've ever watched a BL series like this before. But no, I mention it primarily because OF introduced two characters almost at the end, who not only dominated the series as far as I'm concerned, but who finally raised my blood pressure 😁 and made me interested in a "romance" side of the story. I probably like Daddy Dan because he's the first and only classically romantic character in OF. Additionally, he's the only one that gives an adult vibe. Boeing is simply a great character who dominates every scene and this series in general. We don't know him, we don't know what his motivations are, he manipulates everyone with the ease of a master. Even my fav bad boy Boston looks pale in comparison, and each of the other characters looks like a kid. But if I add Dan to that, they all seem really, really childish. I actually want to see HIM in a relationship, simply because there is a passion in him. Even if it's not good!

Just… looking at Dan and Boeing in one episode and then looking at the rest… well, I have some interesting conclusions.

Anyway, Mew had more chemistry with Boeing in one scene than with Top had so far. Also Top should consider whether Mew is worth the effort. If Mew wants to give him a second chance, he should forgive him and let it go, but he keeps what happened over him ALL THE TIME and just keeps and keeps coming back to this "betrayal". Mew talks about it ALL THE TIME and even wants to take revenge. Another revenge. Does Top want to be reminded of this for the rest of his life? Does he want to be with someone so petty and vindictive? Who is prone to using manipulation, games, and tricks just to prove their point? Who does not confront directly, like an adult, but creates theatrical stagings to triumphantly debunk someone's lies and show his own "moral superiority"?

Boston and Nick: ngl, I hate that they're back together. But the situation is very real. From an outside perspective, I can't imagine choosing someone so immature and nasty like Boston over someone like Dan, BUT well, that's life.

Sand and Ray: I must admit that the number of issues Ray has means that I still don't think he is the best choice for Sand.

Recently, out of boredom, I've been rewatching several series, even silly ones like the last two episodes of My Universe 😊 And even in these funny series, I KNEW that the characters were in love with each other, because the series showed it, I could see the infatuation, love in everything, including the obvious stuff, such as staring, touches, the need to be with the other person expressed in taking action to do so. For example, I have no idea what's behind Top's actions in getting Mew back, because it's definitely not love.

Literally no declaration of love, or even liking, or expression of desire to be together by any of these characters was emotional or credible. When it comes to relationships, they are either lukewarm, or they manipulate, test, or they want/don't want something. The highest emotions arise only when they fight or are being nasty. Oh sorry, Dan expressing interest in Nick and Boeing expressing interest in Mew were convincing 😄 Ok, Nick bursting into tears and saying he missed Boston is something I can still accept, it was pure and honest.

(actually, I know my thoughts and this post are chaotic, I could have gotten lost halfway through lol. Anyway, the presence of Dan and Boeing highlighted even more what I think about OF)

Fun fact: I only discovered today that the actor playing Boeing played in Not Me. The entire ep I was wondering how I knew that face. I would be such a shitty witness because all it takes is for someone to change their hair color and I'm like who dis 😭