#i'm not even really hungry
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I'm having a quiet meltdown because I'm upset that I can't get the range (stove/oven) I want because it's slightly too expensive and the only other gas one with a lower storage drawer has been out of stock forever on Home Depot's website and I need to eat dinner, but I don't want any of the Hello Fresh meals we got this week (had a different burger last week on Friday, had ravioli for lunch so I don't want the meatball rigatoni bake because it's too similar and don't feel like cleaning out the air fryer baskets to make the veggies for the chicken meal [because the oven doesn't work] and also don't want to make a sauce) and I also don't want my "smelly macaroni" (that's what Spouse calls my gouda macaroni from Aldi) and I don't want to eat their shells and cheese because they're not mine and I don't want to make the frozen bag of pesto shells and I had gnocchi last night so I don't want that either and I have no frozen pizzas so I'm just not going to eat anything and cry alone on the couch because Spouse is in the other room listening to an audiobook with the cat.
#meltdown#possibly hangry#but i don't feel hangry#i'm not even really hungry#i don't want anything for dinner#but i probably should eat something#fml i guess#why can't we have nice things#home ownership#broke af#because everything in this house keeps breaking#adulting#adulting is hard#adulting sucks
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Sublime Equine.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#little apple#Did I *need* to dedicate a whole comic to little apple when I'm trying to economize my scenes?#Well! I did start this whole blog with the dreams of one day being able to draw better equines. So Yes. I did need this.#The true benchmark of my art progress is actually the quality of how I draw Little Apple.#(no seriously go look back at my little apple tag. Then come back here).#Hey welcome back! I know right! What was I even doing at the start? That was *not* a donkey!!!#That aside - I really am thrilled that I can draw her more. Even if she's only *really* in two more comics for season 2.#I wish I had more thoughts here. I'm so distracted by the donkey rotating in my brain. I missed her so monch.#Oh! Yeah I really like the parallels here between WWX and Little apple.#Specifically the sense of how we get a nod to how he's changed.#Little apple and WWX have both grown a little less lean and hungry (one literally the other metaphorically)#This whole episode is basically about WWX's desire for something peaceful and domestic in his life.#and here is little apple - his first companion from the start of his new life - changed to something softer.#Very much a 'look how far we have come moment' that is rather subtle but enjoyable.
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anyway, Elden Ring is about love and hope
Marika burns everything she has build out of sorrow
Ranni banishes the Outer Gods and also fucks off the Lands, giving agency back to the normal beings of the Lands
Fortissax endlessly fights Death for his friend/lover
Melina burns herself and Erdtree in hopes of a better world in the hands of the Tarnished
Blaidd fights against the very reason he was created out of love for his sister
Ranni and Rykard always keep an eye on their mother, protecting her
Radahn evokes so much love from his troops that they organise a whole festival to give him a honorable death even in his madness
Radahn learns an entire new school of magic in order to still ride his favourite horse
Boc's love for his mother, his mother's love for him
How all but two endings are build on the hope that this new era (whatever it might be) will be good
Miquella attempting to create an whole new world-tree to host the forsaken and the damned
Miquella turning on the faith he was raised and even believed in to an extent, when it was unable to cure his sister's curse
The Cleanrot's loyalty to Malenia and their endurance of the Rot, only to stay in her service
Malenia marching through the entire continent in search of her brother
Finlay traveling all the way back on her own, carrying the incapacitated demigod on her back
Tanith's love for Rya
Dialos' entire questline
Edgar being driven mad after his daughter dies
Vyke embracing, to a point, the Frenzied Flame in order to save his finger maiden
or you know, that's just how I see it
#elden ring#i'm simplifying a lot in this#but that's the story#to me#it follows the pattern of the ds series too#where the world was miserable and depressing#yet the main theme was hope and perseverance#with elden ring we got so many more characters and as such love began playing a bigger part too#and you can't really have interesting characters without their actions being driven by love and hope#or lack thereof#even power-hungry characters are driven by the hope of reaching the power “level” they want#and hateful ones are driven by lack of love#or so i think
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ingrid, sweetie, i'm so sorry
#fe3h#ingrid brandl galatea#even though you can see where the boys are coming from if you know them better#claude isn't used to being yelled at for showing non 'leader like' behavior in public (sleeping when tired)#which is fair (but why did he say men like women that smile)#sylvain had altered dialogue and is showing symptoms of csa and said she could stop doing that#but still ingrid has to clean up his mess#felix can't stand the idea of knighthood bc of how his brother died and thats why he wants her to give it up#but its her dream and he told her to find a husband instead#raphael really is trying his best but he is also so hungry and it's not bc its ingrid he is always like this#but it did take a toll on her i'm sure#i get why in hers and seteth support she is so happy now. a man is listening and trying to help with her issues... poor girl
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My best friend and I moved in together with his closest friend from his MA program, and while I had met her before (the friend; my bff is a man), we hadn't spent much time together because I've never lived away from the West Coast (and only two years out of the PNW) and she's never lived outside of North Carolina and only briefly visited the PNW once, when she went to Portland last year.
It's been a delight to show her around the PNW and realize we need to explain things that are just sort of omnipresent in our lives. The bff and I were casually griping with each other about having to run an errand to Trader Joe's at an inconvenient hour, and were telling her, "it's okay, you can stay in the car and avoid the people if you want" and she was like "NO I MUST SEE IT, I'VE ONLY HEARD OF THEM" and nearly ascended to another plane when we showed her around the store.
The bff and I grew up in the same town in NW Washington (him for his first 18 years, me from 9 to 19) and he lived in Bellingham and Seattle for years before he went to NC for grad school (I went to the SF Bay Area for mine, a very different experience). Both of them are hardcore coffee aficionados, but he struggled with the different Coffee Ways of the South, so for the true PNW experience they want to tour various indie coffeeshops next.
Also, she adores Kaidan in Mass Effect and we were like, oh, is your passport up to date? We could take a trip sometime and show you your boyfriend's beloved English Bay. It's very beautiful :)
her: O_O
me: Actually, it's worth going to Vancouver BC for its own sake as well, it's truly spectacular. We used to go all the time as kids.
bff: And Victoria!
her: O_O
#as much as i very openly love my homeland (read: the pnw. sometimes the whole west coast) at all times#it is truly special to experience it through someone who's never lived anywhere remotely near here. she's never seen vegas or seattle or la#we were super hungry after moving stuff yesterday and the bff was like 'i'm not sure i have a real restaurant in me...#let's just pick up some stuff from jack in the box'#her: 'what's a jack in the box?'#even the department store chains we're used to are different#also she's queer and was concerned about having queer friendly dating options out here and we're like '...oh sweetie'#and since she's from eastern nc we were also explaining that the pacific ocean up here is not like the atlantic#her: 'what are your hurricanes like?' us: '... we um. don't really have them'#then we were like... i mean rainier's lahars are going to melt seattle someday but these are infrequent events#and there will be seismic warnings. even mt st helens gave some warning!#i think the only disappointment for her so far was our building codes (she's very into proper infrastructure)#the roads are nice but our buildings are not designed for combating nature by her standards#it's interesting because we're so unused to the idea of nature as generally something to combat#in fairness someone from say astoria might think about that differently or in very rural areas. but in the parts we're familiar with#usually 'natural' dangers are 'poorly timed human fuckery' and things like rain generally come as friends#like yeah don't go antagonizing a bear or cougar or moose or whatnot but you'd really have to go out of your way#anghraine babbles#cascadia blogging#the adventures of space redacted#anghraine's gaming#us american blogging#i should probably have a bff tag#long post
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Damangela lives rent free on smoshtwt
...but in the most unfortunate way because have they not seen from this fixation of theirs that there's a section of us who will have a field day if Damien surprise us one day as a guest in a Starkid prod? Or another variant at Smosh where both Angela and Damien can showcase their talents and intellect? Their chaotic bickering is like treats because there's also other Smosh duos that have it too. But those fewer times where they truly shine, whether they're in the same video or not, really feels like a reward to witness it unfold.
(I am one of those who like this duo because of their musical inclinations and astounded by their way of thinking)
I simply don't know what they are trying to impose. The perfect person podcast really sealed it to me. That if what they imply is she only tolerates every interaction she had with him is simply off the marks. The pièce de résistance they can't ever refute.
Is it also not a tad reaching to practically put it on blast with their straw picking speculation that it was a Damien thing where they perceived him not being as socially adept in a way he is not in good terms to his coworkers? That's not a good look to give to someone who was masking before.
Smoshtwt can be too much sometimes,
I think I finally figured out why the interactions between here (tumblr) and there (Twitter) are so different - They partake in 'Stan' culture, while over here is a bit more rooted in classic 'Fandom' culture.
If you didn't know, 'Stan' comes from combining 'Stalker' and 'Fan' (I believe originating in the K-pop community) (though if you google it, it says it comes from an Eminem song. Funny, but I don't think that's right) so it's a bit more... intense. (either origin for 'Stan' is pretty extreme though)
That and Twitter in general festers a more hostile community. The more you make someone mad the more they interact with you, so Twitter pushes that content because of that.
(Back to your ask)
I don't know if I could physically watch a Starkid production with Damien in it, PURELY because I'd be TOO DAMN HAPPY. I'd be pausing every second and hyperventilating lol. (fr though, that would be SO FUCKING COOL!!)
It's maybe a little bit of a weird relation but, their dynamic to me is like watching a movie with incredible writing? For example of what I mean by that- Their Reddit Stories Ep really had me thinking totally different about all the situations. Literally every story Shayne would read out I would be thinking about what I thought about it, (I like to see if anyone on the couch is going to have similar opinions to me) and every. single. story. Angela and Damien came up with points I never even thought about, but were SO RIGHT!
He'd bring up something, then she'd dunk it with the most factual thing I've ever heard! (that guy not being able to wear that watch ever in front of his girlfriend !!) That whole episode is so good just for the way they both problem solve and how well they compliment each others opinions! They just have such good dialogue with each other. (Genuinely Oscar worthy writing in that episode of RS)
Every time I come across a post ANYWHERE talking about how they don't get why people even like Damangela because "Angela doesn't even seem to like Damien" it makes my eyes pop out of my skull.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?? DO WE KNOW THE SAME ANGELA AND DAMIEN???
Like the sheer amount they both have gone on record saying how much they enjoy each others presence and love each other doesn't mean anything to them?! The amount they make each other laugh??
Like it really does come across as these Accounts just really not liking Damien more than anything to actually do with his and Angela's dynamic. (I could talk about reasons why Damien comes across as 'awkward' or 'bad with coworkers' to some people at length, but I'll save that for another day)(<-signed, Another Neurodivergent person with people issues <3)
I'm also totally convinced all the people hating on Damangela haven't seen much content with both of them in it. That's the only reason I would accept as to why they hate Damangela so much lol, they truly just don't know what they're missing out on <3
#Damien Haas#Angela Giarratana#Damngela Dynamic Enjoyer#Damangela#Damien and Angela#Damien x Angela#Damngela#Damien/Angela#smoshblr#some twitter users fr have never met an ornery person before ever in their life..#Both of them are so fucking ornery sometimes! its a way of life <3#Just because they get annoyed at each other sometimes doesnt mean they arent friends !!!#I have literally NEVER seen Damien consistently annoyed at Angela EVER#(he was annoyed in DWMP:CL where she kept saying she “stopped listening” a bunch But even then she made it up to him in that same stream)#And Angela has definitely gotten a lil annoyed at him at times but she's just an ornery bundle regardless if Damien was involved or not#I am also (by default) easily annoyable its really not as deep as people make it out to be (sometimes I'm just hungry)#Honestly they seem like people that NEED to be able to be annoyed over each other#They both really light up if they get to debate about something so I think its safe to assume they like the turmoil lol (im the same way)
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#tw: ed#it's so fucking hard not to snack before bed#I really want to just stuff my face and pass out#I feel so hungry but I know it's just because of habits and not because I'm ACTUALLY hungry and that makes it worse#I'm doing what I can to keep the binging from taking over but GOD DAMN it's been hard today#I feel like I'm alternating daily between wanting to eat everything and just not even wanting to eat at all#which basically means my ed is back and i hate this and wouldn't wish it upon anyone.#personal#text
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ok this recovery process is truly more miserable than i thought it would be
#major tmi but it's gonna be days before i'm able to take a shit and i ate a lot of food the day before yesterday#so that cramping in the area where the surgery took place is VERY painful#i can't really eat because 1. throat hurts from having a breathing tube shoved down it#2. can't smoke weed to help my appetite bc the coughing hurts too bad (and all I have is wax & dabs make you cough a lot more)#and 3. the whole aforementioned being unable to shit thing makes me too nervous to put any more food in my stomach#i'm so fucking hungry my stomach hurts so bad#all i've eaten since yesterday is a few chips and half of a taco#pain meds aren't working at all so i quit taking em so my stomach wouldn't be even more fucked#especially since i was taking them on an empty stomach#i can hardly walk i need a cane BAD#peeing hurts bc they had to mess around w my bladder during surgery too#i'm just miserable as fuck#.bdo
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American tasked with making an analogy: "Is like highway"
#this isn't even hypothetical; this me watching something and being like 'this analogy is so fucking american'#though if he were a true american he'd have made it about burgers#find a way to make the electrical conductivity of various materials into a burger metaphor#as burgers are objectively superior to highways#can I eat highway? no#can I eat burger? not only yes; but I can eat so many different styles of burger#anyway; joking aside man I wish I had good burgers; if I were rich that's what I'd eat on the grounds it's filling and I can always eat one#pasta I'll end up getting tired of eating before I'm done; like I'm hungry still; but eating is miserable#not so with the humble burger#I'd really like to learn how to make a good burger; cause I can tell in this house it has to be me... no one else is neurotic enough#like I have exacting standards when it comes to burgers (which aren't even that high; just... higher)#and then I also want to make an arsenal of toppings I'm ready to use#your classic burger; your teriyaki and pineapple; bbq (with crispy fried onions if I can manage that); etc#cause the best thing about a burger is that it's a vessel for flavor; not unlike chips#the same burger can have so many different tastes depending on how you dress it up#anyway; foolish american man; making highway analogies instead of burger analogies#I can literally always go for a burger... I just rarely can afford a luxury like that
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Imagine the twins giving Raph edibles or something (on purpose or not) and get him high without his knowledge, except he's so massive and drug-resistant that he can't even tell he's high.
Now imagine a Raph with the munchies.
#man clears out an entire bodega from top to bottom#doesn't even think about it too hard he's just like oh i'm kinda hungry and i'm craving this and also this-#he fully intends to leave money to cover what he ate but before he knows it he's snarfed down the entire snack aisle#i'm really not helping with the perception that i was a stoner am i
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its past midnight and time to yap about Mouthwashing. Anyway obviously we don't see the Specific Events only how the characters react but with Anya... Okay I'm going to talk about the Sexual Assault not with Specific Details but that's what the post is about so
Anyways she reads to me as very like... trying to downplay the severity to herself. Like thinking through it (not having the exact quotes but) I feel like it'd be an unfortunately natural reaction- if you were stuck with 4 guys and the guy with the second highest position on the ship assaulted you depending on the situation. I feel like its not hard to imagine you'd try and reframe it as Less Bad to cope because let me be honest if I had to confront the implications of that, mainly the fact he could do it again and I wouldn't have any real way of dealing with it without complicating things even further bc he doesn't just have a close relationship with the guy with the Most Power on the ship, he also is in charge of keeping Me and The Other People On The Ship Safe, i would be in deep denial just to not lose my god damn mind like thats so fucking scary. And then the implication you tried to talk to the captain and even if he wasn't cruel he didn't Understand the Severity of what you were suggesting is like. Besides feeling afraid it could genuinely really fuck with my own perception bc like "if this guy who I trust says he's not a bad person maybe I'm just overreacting?" is. Again unfortunately understandable.
And again I'll say that Anya fully breaks down when the news breaks that pony express is fucked and like. 1. I think that's related to her own finances (and also. Literally just realized the way an abortion could interact badly with "no savings" like I Just Processed that fact. Like I knew "oh if she couldn't abort having to support a child wouldn't just be traumatic but also fucking nightmarish finance wise" but even having an abortion could make things so much harder.) 2. Jimmy LASHES OUT at Curly OPENLY. again based on my interpretation of Mildly In Denial To Cope this would. Like. Really fuck with that because it goes from "I trust the captain and I don't want to be afraid of my crewmate for a year" to "oh he is willing to verbally abuse the captain, who is his friend" and realizing I wasn't overreacting.
I also wanna point to the dead pixel conversation and obv it's symbolic but idk if it's meant as "there's a dead pixel that Anya noticed and she's using the topic to like test the waters" or if it's "anya is literally just trying to figure out Curly's thought process" which isn't like super important but like. Focusing on the way she starts the conversation by saying that she "Likes the illusion the screen has". (I don't remember the exact words sorry) But that's really interesting to me bc obviously you can read into Curly not seeing the dead pixel and instead focusing on the bigger picture (and how the dead pixel "doesn't ruin the illusion") but I think it's really interesting that Anya starts by talking Positively about the screen even though the dead pixel is there (and she can't stop thinking about it)
Like thinking through implications option 1: she's talking about the screen and uses the dead pixel to get a feel for how Curly responds to her bringing up issues
2: she's being entirely metaphorical and still trying to sort of self soothe- seeking external validation that the dead pixel Isn't Actually That Big A Deal (and therefore she's just overthinking)
3: idk how to phrase this exactly but ppl have talked Abt the way she talks to Jimmy, how it indicates a sort of "Fawn" response where she tries to keep him calm with compliments and stuff, and her talking about "enjoying the illusion" is her trying to do something similar with Curly- essentially starting the metaphor by downplaying the issue
Anyway. I don't know if I have a full conclusion but another thing is I think ppl need to acknowledge that while Curly fucked up and harmed Anya (mainly thru inaction). He's not uniquely shitty. Most people will be in a situation where they act similarly, and that DOES NOT JUSTIFY HIS ACTIONS. I AM NOT SAYING CURLY IS ANY BETTER. I am saying that you need to be able to recognize your capacity for harm thru inaction and understand that like. He's not uniquely terrible he's just Normal Levels Of Unhelpful, which in a situation like Anya's is Dangerous
Like. Basically you can say "fuck jimmy fuck curly" all you want but you need to be able to understand that everyone including yourself has the same capacity for harm
#Mouthwashing spoilers#Rape ment#SA ment#Ask to tag#Idk I will say with the Anya thing: I'm a little bit speaking from personal experience#Of. There are things that I think about like ''ppl say These Things (that I experienced) are Very Bad but I don't think that's the case#For me'' like. Not consciously ''oh I'm over reacting'' but more ''well maybe my situation is different'' and it's really hard to figure ou#How much of that is genuinely the case and how much is denial y'know. 👍#Also Curly is a trans guy to me bc I'm hungry for characters who are trans men and just as culpable of willful ignorance and harm#As cis men. Anyway if anyone has a diff take on Anya's situation and)or mindset I'm open to hear it this is just my thoughts#Based on how the scenes read to me.#Also like the situation is delicate and this isn't like A Perfect Fix but genuinely Curly should've given Anya the gun#I don't think she would've shot it but it works as a Defensive Threat in a way that would give her security and also deter jimmy from being#A fucking problem because he doesn't experience consequences for his actions due to a mix of Captain's Friend and#''we can't really do shit to him or we lose our co-pilot'' (even tho he fucking sucks at his job they don't learn that until he#Is The Captain so they likely assume he's at least fucking. Functional and they would be worse off with him out of commission. Y'know)#But then again Jimmy's allergic to responsibility and consequences to the point of murder suicide so maybe Anya wouldve had to shoot him#Idk. Imagine me pacing full of rage. Imagining a universe where Anya can just fucking go to med school and doesn't have to deal with#The pony express. FUCK THE PONY EXPRESS
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t*lvas basically saying he'd rather be abused if it means he's learning more is kinda crazy. Chill before you get mora tentacle surprise'd in the mail
#text#the way he mentions the college makes it seem like he gets that mentioned to him so often to the point where it actually makes him mad LOL#why is he so knowledge hungry...🤕 Stop it. this is how u know he has no other interests or friends or anything#just saying that cus n*loth has a bigger chance of ruining his love life by being his first bc t*lvas doesn't rly gaf about alldat atm#but anyways...#t*lvas leave that hideous beast and just hit the books in the college i'm sure there are men there that are Eager to mentor you#very personally.....#t*lvas/mora is so cute though i wunna draw that. i did a year ago but didn't rly like the drawing#mora-sama is looking to wife someone new after murdering his last one in cold blood . altho t*lvas is too wussy for that really -#- but if he's willing to suffer just to be educated aren't they a match#i like him so bad he's so ygly but he's my Bae ... t*lvas date a girl that will keep you around just bc you do her homework for her -#- even tho u have no hobbies outisde of that and aren't very interesting to her as a person
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i just had second dinner but i want to munch on more food
#chatterye#idk what's wrong w me but i'm always hungry or in a munchy mood at night#never really during the day#but it's not even like i'm not eating enough or getting enough nutrients/protein/water#i am i'm just constantly munchy#i want chips but i don't have any rn#also tell me why my tooth started hurting randomly like ?????#i take such good care of you don't you fucking dare#i'm not even that stressed btw i just have an endless stomach or somethign
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vent post sorry so sorry i'm having a Bad Time
psyched myself up to buy a new bed but when i announced my plans for the weekend my sibling's like 'are you sure you wanna buy a new bed?' like damn killed the hype immediately. i don't wanna buy a bed i don't wanna go anywhere i'll just keep using the bed that we all cycled through growing up that hasn't been replaced in a decade+ with no bedframe and only one sheet that fits.
"are you sure you want-" I need a new bed. This isn't a matter of wanting. i don't want to think about where to get the best deals or which store has a delivery service or the logistics of hauling that thing into my room or where to get rid of the old one i'm sick of sleeping on a mattress on the floor. don't make this ordeal more complicated than it has to be.
#i'm having a really bad day mentally and when it's this bad i have trouble doing anything because it's all too complicated#even going to the bathroom is too much so i just wont. and as the day goes on i start feeling gross and uncomfortable and hungry#but if i use the bathroom i'll be dirty so i'll have to take a shower and showering is a whole other thing so i'll just not eat or drink so#i don't have to go any more badly than i already do#it's not good and i hate it and this is somehow my fault??? fuck off why don't i crawl into a ditch so you don't have to see it#i skipped work today and i couldn't even go downstairs to get my work phone to inform my boss. even though i have enough time off saved up#it's still a tardy because i didn't report in so i'll get written up#they should fire me. i hate that place.#none of the part time jobs i've applied for have replied#i can't get another job if i lose this one#i cant tell if i'm fr mentally ill or if it's just a product of living in pandemic-genocide-capitalist-global warming times. among others.#not that any of that directly affects me because it's all just me overthinking things and blowing it out of proportion and ruining myself#i'm sorry i cant help#myself or others#talking tag
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Good morning my love!
I had to leave abit earlier and made sure to pack a lunch box into your bag and made you a small breakfast. Have a good day at work and don't miss me too much please... :((
D-7... Oh my god
I love you
You know that I can make my lunches myself… You are too amazing, you know that? I will eat it happily love, whilst missing you already. You know I can't help myself with the last one.
Almost half way through the year… Time doesn't wait for anyone. D-7.
I love you dearly.
⋆
#⋆#⋆ ask#⋆ reply#⋆ seokie 𖤓#⋆ hoseok#⋆ lunch box series#⋆ your lunch box seems to taste even better than usual#⋆ i'm really hungry
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whoahghmm..... home and im so tuckered out
#today was a little stressful only because i still had to learn the university's layout because its really huge#and then i got on the bus really late because it didn't show up but at least i wasnt late (i was but my teacher didn't mind)#but the last subject was so stressful because i had to walk to the other side of the uni to get there and I didn't know that place well#i was 30 minutes late but teacher wasn't bothered and even if i missed a bit of the lesson- this was covered in my senior high so... im safe#travelling took awhile because nic and i took a detour to the mall and cool off there#then i got out of the bus sleepy and wobbling back and forth til home wuwuggwuu#lessons were ok tho :] ate lunch with my friend#i will nap now and play some gameplay or stageplay to fall asleep to#so glad i'm off tomorrow#im hungry but I can't muster the strength to get up and eat dude😩😩😩😩#irl banter
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