#i'm not even planning to post my best ones for a while though bc in another fandom i always got my theories stolen lol

[paimonial-rage]

My favorite works in no particular order:

Tipsy Tales (Anemo Boys)

Symbiosis (Ayato)

What Destiny Has Brought (Fischl)

Hello How Are You (Gorou)

Follow the Wind II (Kazuha)

Of the Same Coin (Mika)

Songs of the Wind (Venti)

Nothing Lasts Forever (Yae Miko)

Sharing a Drink They Call Loneliness (Zhongli)

Of Hopes and Prayers (Zhongli)

[castleclerics]

idc i think mike 100% understood will in the van

i have for a while but was inspired by this post to look back at the van scene for definitely the 200th+ time with what they pointed out in mind and really tried to analyze mike's faces more than i have before.

the first time we see mike after will says el commissioned the painting he furrows his eyebrows twice, (while looking at will, then again after he looks at the painting) very subtle but there. bro's so confused and disappointed that it's not THE painting. the one will made for who he likes.

"even el especially el" mike's like ok. what in the hell is going on here what am i not getting *looks back at painting to try and figure it out*

"she's so different from other people and when you're.....when you're......"

put yourself in mike's shoes. your best friend is talking pretty seriously to you about this damn painting, but he keeps looking out the window at certain parts. he's probably like 'why is he completely turned away from me ? something must really be wrong whatever he's saying he doesn't even want to look at me while saying it, that's not like him.' etc.

will says the word 'different' again while describing a person which prompts mike to look further down to will's back, looking at him and this situation as a whole, zooming out if you will. mike relates all too well to that word, then looks back up at will's head area.

he looks back at painting with that tiny jaw movement (you can see if u watch the actual scene i can’t put another video) as he has his realization. looking at the painting the few other times wasn't enough. but will talking about being different was the missing piece to the puzzle. mike looks at it again and it all makes sense. because mike is queer too, he gets it. that's how he figures out will's talking about himself, everything he just told mike about being the heart. the heart painted on his shield. it's clear as day now for him.

will links being different to feeling like a mistake and the look on mike's face on the left is way more concerned than the very first blurry pic of him, then does his classic 'i feel bad for this person/myself' mouth thing. he wants to reach out to will so badly and make this right but he literally can't. he knows this is the only chance he might get and he can't.

put yourself in his shoes again. 'oh my god my best friend who i like is literally confessing to me and there's nothing i can do about it i want to tell him everything but he used el as a shield for a reason and i don't want to ruin that for him. also i'm in a pizza van that reeks of weed with his brother and his insane friend in the middle of the desert going to rescue el from a military base we might all literally die and something bad is waiting for us if we do make it to hawkins i feel so bad for him though and i need to tell him i feel the same way but i can't rn oh my god what do i do'

mike isn't stupid/oblivious in the van scene, he only is when will tells him "you're the heart". he read that situation wrong. he read the van scene 100% right.

[celestie0]

hi my friends! hope you're all doing well. just wanted to come on here and share a little updates w you guys (if you're still here lol)

i guess it's been like a month n a half since i formally went on hiatus, and it's been nice! i got kinda sick for a little bit lmfaooo which was tough to manage w school, but i'm better now

although i took time away from my blog, i still delved in writing here n there. i haven't written anything for kickoff since tbh i'm in such a slump w it. but i still have big plans for stuff that happens after ch13, so hopefully i can just push through this next chapter and get to a better place. thanks so much to anyone that is still interested in the story, it means a lot to me. i know i'm so slow w updates and the story has been going on for almost a year now, but the continued support is so sweet! even though i didn't work on writing it these past one n a half months, i still really love it and plan to finish it.

i'm not sure if many people remember that i had this sort of "apocalypse" gojo x reader au about an asteroid being set to hit the earth in three days, and reader n gojo are ex lovers n the impending end of the world makes them break no-contact...yeah i finished writing the first chapter for it and i really love it so far! it's like set in new york which is really fun haha i love stories where new york is kind of its own "character" if that makes sense...it will definitely be a limited series w only 4 chapters or so, but i kinda wanna finish all 4 chapters before i start posting it bc i don't want it to be a drawn out series in terms of posting since i think it'd be best enjoyed in frequent succession if that makes sense

as for ihm, i think i wrote the most for ihm during my hiatus. i finished three chapters for it, but they are shorter chapters (around 3-4k words). i kinda realized one of my biggest reasons for burnout w my fics were the reaaaaallly long chapters...like didn't i have a 22k chapter for kickoff or sumn lol. idk i can't remember. but anyways, yeah the mindset behind the longer chapters was bc i liked each chapter to kinda have its own conflict, build up, tension then resolution in a sense. but it was exhausting to write that way tbh lol. so i think moving forward, for ihm, i will have shorter chapters. i just don't wanna think to much about things anymore, and write from my heart, bc i have a lot of things planned for ihm, and among the criticism i've received for my writing choices vs my own vision for the story, i've realized during my hiatus that the only way i can finish ihm, or any of my storeis for that matter, is if i just.........stop giving a fuck about it. lol idk if that sounds strange to say, but like, i don't want to over-edit anything. i don't want to think too much about redundancy. i don't want to flower things up or cut stuff out. i'm at the point where imma just write a first draft, check for grammarly errors, and then post it. i guess the reason i'm sharing this is because idk if this means that people may enjoy my writing less since i will admittedly be spending much less time on it than i did before, but tbh i realized i find the most joy while i'm writing, and not while i'm editing. so i want to spend as little time on the latter as possible, and if that changes the quality of my work, then so be it.

anyways, hmm as for hiatus. i guess i'm off hiatus now? i really enjoyed being off of tumblr tbh this app has a lot of questionable content at times (esp in jjk community) and it also did wonders for my studying bc i wasn't spending time doomscrolling or shit posting anymore lmfaooo. but as for writing in particular, i think i will start to post ihm again exclusively. i can't say anything about kickoff or my other projects, but i feel comfortable to start posting ihm again.

sorry, i know that i have kept my replies and ask box off for a long time. but i will open them again once i start posting chapters because i really miss interacting with you guys.

anywho, these are my updates lol i'm like not sure how many of my readers are still here or which ones have moved on but that's ok, i'm grateful to anyone n everyone. hope to see you all soon again!

[alizayildiz]

Announcement: I don’t know who sent me a request bc it was anonymous but girl if you see this I misse posting too. But my exams are over and I’m back on posting regularly. I have to write a few requests on Wattpad and I’ll upload them on tumblr too!

This one is especially made for you!

Summary: Kenan’s thinks you can’t come to watch his important football game due to both of y’all’s schedules. However you manage to surprise him.

„Miss Yildiz, what a beautiful surprise that you showed up" Coach Montella spoke as he pulled me into a hug.

I don't know since when but it's gotten into a habit that everyone calls me by Kenan's last name. Not that I mind it, I quite enjoy it and to be honest Kenan does too.

Yildiz.

"Well, I try my best to support you guys" I speak as Coach Montella and I walk towards the VIP Lounge of the Allianz Stadium in Berlin.

After the Turkish National Team won 3:1 against Georgia they now play against Czechia. Normally they would play against Portugal but something came up with them and now it's Turkey vs. Czechia.

And normally I would be in New York City right now having a photos shoot for Victoria's Secret. A massive brand with a good name.

But I decided to reschedule the photo shoot. It costed me many nerves and phone calls to reschedule it but in the end I managed to do so.

I wanted to support Kenan through this entire European championship and that didn't work from the beginning on.

Because I missed the opening match against Georgia, he even scored a goal. So now I try my best to make up for it.

Kenan has always been my biggest supporter at everything you do in life. So it's only fair that I'm his biggest supporter too.

As Coach Montella talks me through the details of  today's match I can't get my mind of the fact that Kenan's ex girlfriend Karlotta will be here too.

I absolutely despise that girl not only for what she has done to Kenan but also for that she has done to me.

„So five minutes before the game ends security will walke up with you to the pitch, is that alright ?" Montella speaks looking at me for an answer.

„Absolutely, yes, thank you" I speak smiling at Kenan's coach before the man leaves.

As I walk around the VIP lounge I make myself comfortable, one hour until the game stars and two hours till the game ends.

My outfit was simple but yet elegant, knowing that Kenan prefers if I walk around more elegantly than slutty.

After plugging my phone into the charger I open my Spotify playlist, good thing that these VIP boxes are sound proof.

Not so sound proof when Kenan fucks me in here though...

Opening the refrigerator I pull out a redbull and wash myself some fruits like strawberries and cranberries.

After placing them nicely on a plate I walk to the couch and let myself fall on it.

Gosh, sitting feels good.

I grab my iPad from my handbag and start to work online.

~

As planned I got done with everything I had on my to do list for today.

As I stood up I looked down at the pitch, the Turkish National team singing their national anthem.

Kenan was the tallest player in the team, he was also starting in the first eleven lineup. After finishing singing they positioned them for team pictures.

In the first one Kenan had the post serious face ever, probably because he thinks I'm in New York and not here at his game.

The second picture turned out more motivated, still his smile dropped instantly as the cameras got away from his face.

The Czech people took their time with their national anthem as well as with taking pictures.

While Kenan positioned himself on the pitch the Czech players waved as fans.

Kenan made a quick prayer and so did Arda and Hakan.

All three of them praying for good luck on the match.

During their prayers the commentators of the match called up the line up from both teams. First Czechia then Turkey.

I looked at the big screen and let a a high pitched yell as I saw Kenan's name on it. The stadium loosing it too as soon as they saw him.

Kenan looked up to the VIP box where I was sitting every few minutes, before and during the match.

It's like he knows I'm here. I know that he possibly can't even see me from down there but my gut feeling tells me he does.

Kenan has this gift to spot me whenever I am, he just feels my presence.

As the referee whistled the first half of the game started. Clearly Turkey had more dominance.

In minute 25 Bariș Alper Yilmaz scored.

Two minutes later Kenan scored.

The stadium went loud fans jumped up and down yelling his name. Kenan held up both his hand and then placed on his heart. Dedicating his goal to the Turkish fans.

Clapping both of my hands together I smile down at the football field.

With that Kenan breaks Cristiano Ronaldo his record. What a great success he achieved for his career.

I pull out my phone making photos of the remarkable moment.

Then seven minutes after Kenan scored Arda scores.

3:0 it stands.

Turkish fans are going wild while Czech fans are watching their team loose.

Coach Montella jumps up exited and kisses each of the three guys on their heads, hugging each of them.

Fifteen more minutes pass and then the first half ends. 3:0 for Turkey.

~

"Miss Yildiz, it's time to head to the field" the security guard spoke as he pulled me out of my thoughts.

I sept half break arguing with Karlotta and how she should just leave me and Kenan alone because she and he are in the PAST.

But what if they aren't, and he just lies to me ?

I gather myself following the security guard.

4:0 for Turkey, Hakan scored a goal in the second half which is about to end in exactly five minutes.

As we passed trough different VIP boxes and different hallways I finally was on the pitch.

Behind the barrier but close enough.

And like always it didn't even took Kenan more than thirty seconds to spot me.

He was on the other end of the field and immediately came up running towards me.

The referee had whistled a minute ago so the match was over.

As the cameras focussed on Kenan running towards you fans and commentators applauded at the two of you.

Kenan was not wearing his jersey anymore he pulled it off himself as a form of celebration, so did the rest of the Turkish national team.

Jumping over the barrier he pulled you into his arms giving you thousands of kisses on your forehead.

"Kenan" I chuckled between laughs.

"Did you watch the whole match ?" He asks out of breath.

"Yes Baby, and I'm beyond proud of you" with that Kenan pulls you into a kiss.

I didn't care if he tastes like sweat or even smells like it I just wanted to feels his lips against mine.

The fans going crazy loud even congratulating Kenan on pulling such a beautiful girl like you.

Kenan he let go of you.

"I love you, that's the best surprise you could ever do for me" not even letting me time to respond he crashed his lips on mine again, depending the kiss.

One of his hands had a firm grip on my jaw while his other hand travelled down to my lower back.

Totally worth rescheduling my photoshoot.

Fans were busy taking photos of the two of you and so were you and Kenan.

He's the biggest golden retriever boyfriend ever so he absolutely adores posing for pictures with you.

As he gave you a kiss on your forehead you closed your eyes enjoying the moment.

What a luck that your camera went off in that exact minute. The most wholesome picture ever of the two of you just got made by your phone.

A jealous Karlotta standing in the crowd, eyeing the two of you.

[fairyhaos]

How To Fucking Write: a guide by fairyhaos

[masterlist]

this post details:

STARTING A STORY

PACING A STORY

hi gays and gals and welcome to "how to fucking write", a post (series) where i talk about how i brainstorm for writing, plan for writing, write the writing, and everything in between. nothing too serious here lmao, but i'm definitely planning on making at least a couple posts on this bc a) it's fun and b) i wanna help! so if you find this useful then pls lmk by reblogging + drop an ask if there are any specific things u want me to give my two cents on ^^

okok and now without further ado,,, let's look at the topics i'll talk about in today's post!

#1 - HOW TO START A STORY.

.. bullet point one : have an idea

the first big thing is that you need an idea. doesn't matter if you're a pantser and don't plan out your writing before you start. that's totally fine! but before you begin, you need at least an idea: maybe it's a vibe, a character personality, a specific journey you want the characters to go on. maybe it's a piece of dialogue. maybe it's the ending- the point you want to end up at after however many thousand words.

whatever it is, it's best to have some inspiration, some idea of what you wanna do. no point in writing if you don't know what you're writing, you know?

(of course, that brings up the issue of Having An Idea in the first place, but finding inspiration to write is a whole other can of worms we can open in another post.)

.. bullet point two : practice

okay, so now you have an idea. how do you put that idea to paper? how should you actually start your story?

it’s all to do with practice.

it’s the most annoying piece of advice in the world, but it helps so much. you just have to write lots and lots and lots, to find the way that works for you. whether you wanna start your stories with pretty scene descriptions, with dialogue, with dramatic one-liners. finding your voice, your style, what’s most comfortable for you, is really really important. and takes practice.

an example, though: for me, i prefer either a line of dialogue, or one-liners that a) help immediately establish a character’s personality or can b) introduce an interesting setting.

[chan + swingset] — one-liner example

[hoshi + silly] — dialogue example 

but of course, everyone’s style is different. so i’d recommend playing around! find a list of one-word prompts and just write a few that inspire you, writing the beginnings. it’s important, also, that you’re having fun, because if you’re already struggling with starting to write, it’ll be even harder if you’re doing it while feeling stressed.

.. bullet point three (mostly just for longer fics)

maybe you don’t find a style, in the end. maybe you’re comfortable with all of them, which is totally fine! but then you look at your writing, and you think, “oh… this isn’t as good as i thought.” 

and it makes you want to give up. what do you do, then? how do you carry on with your start?

just put words to paper. it doesn’t matter if the words are terrible, if you’re making up shit and using placeholders for description words or whatever. just carry on, get to a place you’re happy with, like the end of a scene, or maybe a dialogue exchange you really like.

because now, guess what? you’ve successfully created a first draft.

making first drafts is actually so important. seriously. first drafts allow you to fuck up, allow you to write terribly. they help you fumble and trip your way to the finish line (or at least a rest point) so that you can go back and do better.

even if your first draft is terrible, it’s helped you make your way to a point you’re happy with. now you have a vague idea of what you want, even if the description or characterisation or something is way off. because now, you can edit it, or even scrap it and use only a few words from that draft in your next one. or maybe, if you look back at it, maybe it’s even decent enough for you to use. 

whatever it is, when you first start writing that story, think of it as ‘The Worst Draft’. because it probably won’t be as good as you want it, and it’s okay. just write, with no fears of it being bad, because that’s literally fine. it’s not set in stone. the backspace button exists. after your first draft is made, make another. and another, and another, because i promise, after that first draft, it only gets better from there.

#2 - PACING A STORY.

.. bullet point one : adding things

pacing is always really tricky. however, i do think that slowing a story down is easier than speeding it up, so here we go,,,,

finding out the exact way to slow down a story really depends on what type of story you're writing, but there are a few all-round things you can do which can help pretty much any setting.

if it's a scene with loads of dialogue, and things feel like they're jumping to the end topic too quickly, add descriptions. your readers are blind, writers, and they depend on you to be able to see what's going on. are your characters having a conversation on the street? take a break to describe what they see. are they in a coffee shop? maybe someone comes in with a huge noise, or their coffee arrives at their table. are they hanging in midair with nothing around them? well, describe the actions of the character they're talking to, then.

example: (from my seoksoo fic bc it's the only long fic i'm working on rn)

by adding character descriptions, movement, thoughts, instantly everything seems to have slowed down. it thickens time, allowing you to move at a more leisurely pace.

if it's a scene full of action, you can do the exact same thing. maybe there's a high-tension moment and something significant happens. slow down time there, describe something small in great detail. talk about the thoughts they're having.

and even if it's just an ordinary scene, describing is important. the setting, the characters' actions, their thoughts. it's okay to write too much. then you can delete things which make things feel like they're moving too slowly.

.. bullet point two : delete

not gonna lie, finding out how to speed up the pacing of the story can often be really specifically tailored to the setting of the story.

with stories that have loads of action (spy, apocalypse, etc) i'd recommend adjusting sentence length. you'll want short, punchy sentences, without loads of commas and clauses, but you'll also want to experiment with having those short sentences gradually get longer. it helps with tension and suspense.

it has to be short. running fast. something to elevate fear. quick, but also desperate, before they then spill over each other, picking up pace, all of the thoughts blurring together and going faster, and faster, and faster, and then-

then the penny drops.

people use the metaphor of music a lot, and it really does work that way. it needs to ascend to its climax: gently, cautiously, before sprinting upwards and only describing things like the barest emotions (the fear they feel, the panic, anger, anything) before everything reaches its peak and comes crashing down in a flurry of action descriptions.

but of course, the easiest way to speed up something is to delete. delete swathes of setting description. delete unnecessary dialogue. delete an entire scene and rewrite with only the things you remember (which can help make sure you only have the essentials in your scene, btw. very helpful).

it might take a bit of adjusting, rewriting, moving things around, but ultimately, quickening the pace of the story depends on the way in which you write things. be concise, be dramatic, and don't dawdle.

... and that's it ! if anyone has anything else they want advice on (how to structure, how to write dialogue, how to plan etc) then just shoot me an ask, because i'd love to help however i can :)

tagging: @selenicives who asked for this in the first place hehe ^^

[atalana]

so i finally got the chance to read the book of bill! and man those journal 3 pages, i could write a million essays on those, but the principle one that i can't get out my head is the new insight on ford's whole fucked up paradigm of what love is

like, neither of the stan twins really know how to experience unconditional love, because they never really had it. their dad was constantly comparing the two of them and really just stamping down stanley's self worth at any given moment. and even for ford who was praised, he's not an idiot, he saw how stan got treated all the time, and their dad was very explicit as to why. ford's praise and attention hinged on him being the family genius who could make them all a lot of money, and he knew very well if he failed to live up to that, he would also lose his father's love

and you see this in stan in his desperate need for everyone to like him, but also how he doesn't really believe anyone ever truly could love him, so whenever he gets the chance with anyone he clings onto that relationship as tight as he can, terrified it's going to disappear at any second

ford, meanwhile. the more direct threat to him was the bullies and the people that made him feel lesser for being abnormal. and no kid likes feeling like that, we know it's a spike buried deep in his psyche, which gave him a reason for the dichotomy he ends up forming.

when he was a kid, people tended to fall into two categories - those who were really impressed with him and his potential, and those who saw him as a freak and wanted to drag him down for it. the love he got and the hate he got are directly related to both.

and as a result ford is constantly looking for people who will give him intellectual gratification (what he thinks love is), and he categorises everyone else as "unimportant obstacles in my way" (because that's how he thinks about those bullies, so their words won't hurt anymore)

stanley was the first category, until he sharply became the second

and splitting the world into those two categories makes him an absolutely horrible person! like, one hand yeah, you do have sympathy for ford bc that is straight up torture bill put him through and no one should have to experience it (and i do wanna make clear this is not a ford hate post, he does have good qualities im just interested in the bad rn)

on the other hand though, god, i'm always struck by just how hateful he is towards so many unimportant things (just one of many examples, christmas songs are fake and stupid bc rudolph didn't burn santa's workshop to the ground as revenge for ostracizing him like jesus christ dude)

or the bit where he sees one of stan's shitty product ads and considers calling him and pretending to be a cop just to scare him, because in ford's mind that's a punishment he deserves for daring to look so stupid while sharing ford's face

and it just drills in how much ford is not willing to see stan's side of this in any way, because what do you think would happen if you went through with that plan? don't you know stan's already scared enough? you saw him get kicked out, you saw the ultimatum that came with it, and hell thanks to the book of bill we know you were also scared to go home until you had something to show for it. he's trying his best, and you understood that once. but then stan throws your journal back in your face and you yell that you're giving him the chance to do the first worthwhile thing in his life.

everything he did to try and make something of himself, to try and prove himself worthy of literally any love at all, you didn't care about that. now he's in a position to help you, so of course he should just drop everything and obey your orders to the letter without question. that's the only way to redeem himself for getting in your way, why won't he take it?

by the time bill shows up ford felt fully justified in going "this isn't about me, and therefore it's stupid and unimportant and should be destroyed". and i know exactly why, it's because again you think intellectual gratification and love are the same thing and you're running low on both right now so you're trying to make up the difference by affirming how right you are in your goddamn diary, but right does not make you good or kind or wise

and that makes it kind of a self fulfilling prophecy, because loving you is hard, and the one person genuinely willing to do so unconditionally you're keeping at a very aggressive arms length. but you fall for bill so easily, because he understands how important you are, which must be love, and all of these other people worried about you just aren't smart enough to get it

and not even realising bill's lies could cure him of that one. hell, 30 years spent dimension hopping didn't cure it. when ford gets back he is still just as self righteous, and still willing to categorise dipper as "will give me intellectual gratification" and the rest of them as intrinsically less valuable

which is why dipper can't take the deal ford offered him. if he had, he would have turned out exactly like ford, stuck in his own echo chamber unable to tell the difference between love and praise

mabel says at one point in the comics that the reason the two grunkles are bad at looking after kids is because they still are kids, and that's a really accurate insight. that old wound cut so deep neither of them had the chance to actually move past their childhood, and discover what it was they were missing

stan never stopped wanting his brother back, but ford didn't realise that was what he needed too, until he saw mabel and dipper working as a team against bill. he's acknowledged his mistake in trusting bill before now, but "we used to be like that" is his first time acknowledging that his whole approach to people is wrong.

you've always had one source of unconditional love. you didn't need to be better than him to be worthy of it. and now you've got an entire new family, hopefully you'll realise that can come from multiple fronts

(and it's okay stan shall have his revenge for how you treated him by commiting just. so much tax fraud in your name)

[youunravelme]

okay but how does mat propose??? (like a pt. 2 follow up to the wedding cake fic)

omg omg omg a proposal request!! let it be known, i have never been engaged, BUT all my friends got engaged/married last year so i think i'm uniquely qualified (edit: this was started in 2023, you know, when this request was sent. once again, my b). (though this might just turn into my dream proposal bc i'm in love with him).

for those of you who wanna check the part 1 of the wedding cake fic, here it is!

another edit: i wrote this to distract myself from my absolute disdain at scott mayfield.

carry on.

his hands were sweating all day.

which was weird, considering it was february.

but it wasn't weird, given what he had planned. he didn't know if he wanted to scream or throw up. the idea of you becoming his wife surely made him giddy, but it was soured with the slight chance that you might say no. he was supposed to propose before the season started up again, but he was plagued with anxious thoughts.

it's not the right time.

i'm not ready yet.

or the worst one: i don't think i'm that serious about you.

which, in hindsight, wouldn't make sense considering you were already living together and have been for quite some time. you wore his jersey to games, you had conversations about starting a family, you texted his mom and sister more than he did. there was no reason for you to say no.

right?

right?

after he chickened out back in september, mat's new plan was to wait until the bye week to propose. he was going to take you on a vacation to conil de la frontera, spain. he had everything booked and ready.

but then he was drafted for the 2024 all star games.

he could see it in your eyes, you were ecstatic for him to be recognized, but when you took a week and a half off of work, you were planning on packing your bathing suit, not taking a short flight to toronto.

you bore the slight disappointment well, smiling and kissing him and hugging him tightly when he got the news. he beamed when he saw you post about it on your instagram.

he couldn't wait any longer to ask you. your reaction to a change in your vacation plans from something warm to canada in the winter solidified what he was anxious about for months.

you loved him, there as no doubt about it.

you were the most selfless human being he knew.

his teammates had been crucial in the planning process, well, at least their wives were. bo, marty, anders, brock, and clutterbuck had been chirping him since the start of the season when they noticed that your left hand was still devoid of a ring.

"what're you waiting for, barzy?" bo asked after a practice one day. "you found a good one, she'd probably wait forever for you, but why're you making her wait?"

mat shrugged at the time, too embarrassed to admit that despite being one of the best players in the league and having millions to his name, he was terrified that it still wouldn't be enough for you. not that you'd ever demanded more from him, you'd taken him as he was and cheered for him even when he was having the shittiest time of his life.

he could give you the moon and still wouldn't feel like it was enough.

so when mat finally told his teammates about his plan in toronto, they immediately communicated to the wives who were closest to you. sydney, grace, and holly took you out to get your nails done while marty, anders, bo, and mat started researching the most romantic places in toronto on anders' laptop just in case you spontaneously went through mat's search history.

the day was planned, the photographer and necessary tickets were booked, he'd propose at the evergreen brick works after texting auston matthews about cool places to visit while he was in town, (he had to clarify that he didn't care about cool bars, and was looking to bring you along).

you'd been talking nonstop on the plane ride to toronto that you didn't even notice mat was quietly stewing. everything had to be perfect.

it was the very least that you deserved.

the first day in toronto, both of you explored the city by going to coffee shops and restaurants recommended by players and their significant others. when you made it back to your hotel room, your feet were aching.

you fell face first into the bed, whining into the comforter. "my feet hurt," you groaned.

mat laughed from his position leaning against the wall. "i told you to wear better shoes," he said.

"i didn't anticipate you dragging me all over toronto today."

"well, that's what we'll be doing tomorrow too, so prepare yourself."

"mat," you whined, finally flipping over so he could see your pretty face again. you had a cute pout on your lips that he wanted to kiss away. "we're on vacation."

"and you've never been in this city before, you should get to see it." he walked over to where you were and grabbed your hands. "c'mon, let's go take a bath and then we can order room service and spend the rest of the night in bed."

you were quick to agree.

the following day was pretty mundane. but wednesday was the cause of mat's stress.

his phone lit up with texts from his teammates, his parents, liana, tito, and ethan, all wishing him a good luck. the two of you woke up early enough to go to a local cafe and grab breakfast before taking the bus to evergreen brick work.

"you okay?" you asked, placing your hand on his knee to keep it from bouncing anymore.

he thanked whatever possessed him to keep the ring box in his coat pocket on the side that wasn't pressed up against you.

"yeah," he smiled. "just ready to get there."

when the two of you hopped off the bus, you slid your hand into his almost immediately. out of habit, mat tucked you into his side, happy to just have you close. it was a little cold outside, but it was like he couldn't feel it because of your proximity.

"mat!" you tugged on his arm and pointed at one of the signs. "they have ice skating here!" you grinned widely up at him and he couldn't help but smile right back. "we should go!"

"we will," he said. "i wanna do this trail first."

you looked at him funny. "you wanna go on a walk?"

he shrugged, tearing his eyes away from you to focus on the signs in front of him. "auston suggested this place."

"you're asking for a lot of suggestions from auston. it's unlike you..."

"there's no need to be suspcious, babe. i know that you wanted to be in a tropical place for vacation, that was the plan and everything, but since we're here, thought we'd make the most of it."

you scrutinized his face for a moment longer before nodding and pulling yourself closer to him.

after you secured another hot coffee to combat the cold, mat started leading you on the trail. while you were ordering, he was coordinating with the photographer to make sure she was in position.

the trail itself wasn't that long, thankfully because mat couldn't get a word out and if it was any longer, he feared you would've caught on that he was incapable of speaking.

you were still talking about work drama when you got to the lookout point. your voice was taken away by the sight of toronto in the background.

you hadn't always been the most observant person ever, you didn't even know he liked you until he told you verbatim when he couldn't take it anymore.

"oh my god, mat," you gasped. you pointed at the skyline in front of you with the hand that wasn't holding your coffee. "look how pretty it is!"

he swallowed and knelt down on one knee while your back was turned. mat took the ring box out of his jacket pocket, doing his best not to drop it despite how much his hands were shaking.

"have you ever seen anything that--" you whipped back around to look for him. he watched as confusion filled your face when you didn't see him standing behind you, but kneeling in front of you.

"oh my god," you whispered, dropping your coffee on the ground so you could cover your mouth with both hands. "mat what--"

"i love you," he said. "i love the way you squeal at every cute baby that comes across your for you page or the way you cry at the drop of a hat. i love how you celebrate everyone around you. you are the brightest thing in my life and if i quit my job tomorrow, i know my life would still be fucking amazing because i'd have you.

"i know that my schedule is hectic, and you could probably find a man better than me, who was more consistent, who wasn't going to play games or have practices on your birthday, who could take you out of the country for a vacation to somewhere warm instead of dragging you with me to an all star game. but i promise you, i will do whatever it takes to give you the best life possible if you'd let me. i wanna grow old and crinkly with you, i want our kids to have the same last name as both of us. i want to be able to point you out in crowds and tell strangers that i somehow managed to convince you to marry me.

"i have never been more terrified in my life than i am right now," he admitted. "but i have never been more certain of anything i want more in my life than you. so will you have me? will you marry me?"

in the middle of his speech, mat didn't realize when he'd started crying, didn't even notice that you were all but sobbing. he just recognized the scent of your perfume when you lunged towards him and kissed him hard on the mouth, your tears mixing with his.

"yes," you mumbled into his mouth. "oh my god, yes."

mat let out a watery laugh and managed to slip the ring on your finger even though his hands were shaking. you pulled him up to stand and immediately wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him close.

you were sniffling as he pulled you in for another kiss.

"i love you,' he whispered against your lips.

"love you more," you smiled back.

[staybabblingbaby]

Best Friend Protocol #5 (Planning Part)

[Caution: These are not full fics, or even full parts of fics for some, these are part of my writing progress archive!]

Concept: You're Felix's childhood friend, and you and he have been planning a visit to see him for his birthday for what feels like years now. Unfortunately, SKZ is a very busy group, and the week-long vacation you'd planned for doesn't seem possible. Until Felix decides to ask his bandmates a favor...

Announcement: If y'all have any sort of interactions you want to see with certain members lmk! I'm officially taking prompts for this series, regardless of where in the timeline they fall <3 This fic is eventually going to branch into different "paths"/"universes" for each member, so romantic or platonic interactions doesn't matter! Hit me w ur best shot!

Word Count: All images, so N/A. Unless someone wants to make these accessible but I don't really know how.

Notes: I kinda hate this chapter a bit lol. I feel like I'm not properly exploring/developing anybody but Felix's relationship with Reader, even though it's meant to be OT8 for a while yet. I mean, we're flirting with Hyunjin and teasing with Seungmin, but meh. I also left out half of SKZ for this, I figured at least some of them would be busy at 5pm on a workday lol. It also made doing the gc at all easier. 9 characters is a LOT to manage. This already got SO long with just the 5 characters. I also feel like this is very minimal, plot-wise, and I've sort of written myself into a corner. I might have to start skipping around the timeline and come back to connect things later, which is a damn shame bc I was doing so well with consecutive chapters for this one. The hazards of reading on my Archive ig, lmao

Warnings: She/Her Reader

Additional Note: Shoutout to my friend Tiny, who encouraged me to post even though I don't like it lmao. She's the only reason y'all get fed today.

Masterlist | Prev Part <3 | Next Part :D

Taglist: The wonderful, amazing, adorable @thatgirlangelb

[nyx-thedragon]

Newsies thoughts part 3

so I just finished watching Newsies 1992 for the fourth time, and noted down a bunch of things I noticed or thoughts I had. I didn't do this the third time I watched bc that one was with my brother and I wanted to focus on the movie and talking and joking with him lol.

anyway, I noted down a lot of things, so prepare for a long post. (these are in order of when I thought of them, and I'm typing them from my notes app so enjoy my train of thought/how my brain thinks)

1- shoutout to Mr Kloppman for taking care of the boys

2- what's the story behind the lady that comes in singing about her son in "Carrying the Banner"? she fucking slays, but I'm very confused about it

3- they're literally just a bunch of teenage boys who've been dealt an awful hand in life but try their best to keep everyone's morale up and stay positive (me realizing how sad the reality of the newsboys is)

4- all the older newsies taking care of and helping the little ones I love them so bad

5- you can tell how close the newsies are with each other I love it. family for real

6- why does Les carry a wooden sword almost the whole movie?

7- "this is my brother David. he's older" "oh, no kiddin'"

8- love love love how all the newsies just adopt David and Les into the group immediately

9- Pulitzer needs a magnifying glass to read the big-ass headline lmao

10- Seitz lowkey seems to kinda be on the newsies' side

11- why does the crowd boo when the old guy is holding up the "round 58" sign? (during the scene where there's a boxing match going on)

12- Les and Davey immediately follow Jack in running from Snyder even though they've never been in trouble with the law

13- Davey stops Les from putting his head in the horse mask thing (?) (when they're in Medda's theatre)

14- Jack just staring at Davey while Medda coos over Les

15- genuinely Jack did not need to pull Davey by his tie. he could've grabbed his shoulder, but no. had to pick the gayest option

16- Davey inviting Jack to his house after just meeting him literally like not even 12 hours ago. and then inviting him to stay the night?? down bad behavior for real. and he seems so nervous to introduce him to his parents too ??

17- Sarah Jacobs please give me a chance please please please

18- ngl the scenes with Jack and Sarah are a little bit like,,,cringe?? idk they just don't feel right idk if they have enough chemistry for Sarah to realistically be Jack's love interest

19- bro just casually steals a horse and no one goes after him ??? (during Santa Fe)

20- the stupid fucking calculation thing Pulitzer does with his arms omg it's so funny for no reason

21- Kid Blink either doesn't see or just doesn't care that one of the Delanceys is mocking him

22- Jack puts his hand like right next to Davey's face and then slowly moves it away lol (when Jack is asking Davey what he should say to the other newsies when first planning the strike)

23- Davey staring longingly at Jack while he's up writing "strike" on the board

24- "i need some of those...what do you call 'em?" "whatever you want!" (from a random newsie in the crowd, love whoever that was)

25- Spot Conlon hears Davey say one sentence and is like 'yeah this guy never shuts up once you get him going, i can tell' (hence "walking mouth")

26- who is the newsie that just appears behind Jack while they're in Brooklyn talking to Spot??

27- Mush and Davey friendship i love you so

28- where does Race get a harmonica from for "Seize The Day"?

29- love all the littles standing on the statue pedestal during "Seize The Day"

30- Jack and Davey jump up on the statue pedestal and start kicking each other. playing footsie, boys?

oh dear lord i did not realize i noted down this much holy shit

31- Davey immediately looking for Les when the cops show up

32- the Refuge needs better security at the gate cuz how did newsies sneak in TWICE

33- they had time to choreograph a whole dance routine bro (the little seize the day reprise thing)

34- "everyone remain calm" "let's soak 'em for Crutchie!"

35- Davey gets pulled away by someone in the crowd while trying to help Jack (during the big scene when they get ambushed by the police at the distribution place)

36- why are half of the Brooklyn guys grown ass men?? and they're intimidated enough by Spot Conlon to let him be the leader? man i love Spot Conlon he's so cool

37- Spot and Kid Blink lowkey friendship love it

38- Dutchy being horizontal for the picture

39- the workers at the restaurant just watching the chaos of "King of New York"

40- i hate Snyder's face. it makes me uncomfy

41- Sarah Jacobs, how is your hair perfect right after waking up tell me your secrets

42- if they wanted the Jack and Sarah love interest story to actually work better, they should've fit more scenes of them talking

43- nah cuz actually wdym Jack's "real" name is Francis?? he doesn't look like a Francis at all (this is just me being baffled that he could be named Francis, of all things)

44- who is letting Kid Blink hang off the fucking balcony bro he is nawt gonna land on his feet

45- Race and Blink being Medda's #1 hype men <3

oh my fucking god i'm so sorry this is so long i apologize profusely. if you've made it this far, go get a little treat for yourself

46- Jack and Davey are so grabby with each other when Davey is warning Jack about Snyder

47- Medda i love you !!! (tried to fight off the police to defend Race. "he's just a child")

48- how are the newsies losing the fight against the police? there's like a thousand of them and not as many of the police (or at least it seems there's a lot less police)

49- Denton trying to get to Jack when he's captured by the police

50- Race trying to gamble with the judge, he's so unserious

51- the look Jack gives Davey when Snyder starts telling the truth about Jack (his real name, his dad not being out West)

52- i keep accidentally mixing up Specs and Dutchy lol. probably cuz they both wear glasses (i feel so bad for this omg i'm so sorry Specs and Dutchy)

53- no yeah, security at the gate of the Refuge is awful. 6 boys snuck in at once !!

54- why did Pulitzer tell Jack to shut up and listen THREE TIMES when he wasn't even talking ???

55- Davey was just standing in the courtyard outside Pulitzer's, how did no one see him?? he wasn't even hiding, dude

56- Mush shows up to get the "Newsies Banner" papers twice - once by himself and again with Kid Blink

57- "can you read? read that" (Race making sure the kids will be able to read the paper love him for that)

58- Race and Les's little friendship moment is cute ("when the distribution bell starts ringin', will we hear it?" "nah")

59- Race's reaction to Roosevelt is funny. "Roosevelt!?" (bro is shocked)

60- Denton hanging out with Les while Davey gets his papes

61- Race cheering when Jack kisses Sarah. "Jackie boy!"

whew oh dear lord I am so so so sorry for this being so fucking long. I didn't even realize I had noted down so many things I feel bad for making folks have to read this whole thing if they want to see all my thoughts. maybe I should split this in half and have two posts instead of this long one?? idk let me know what you think. also, if I got the names wrong for any newsies, please let me know I'm still learning lol.

uh yeah, this post is over now. stay hydrated, get some rest, and stay cool

[cas-backwards-tie]

I'm new to you page and wa wondering if you had discontinued the pack plan series as its brilliant:))

Ahhh, well, welcome! 💖🥰🫂 We’re so glad to have you here! I want to thank you for reaching out and asking 💕 I always appreciate asks! Even when they’re not related to my fics.

TOPP is definitely still in the works! And because you asked so nicely and cared to inquire, I feel like I owe it to all of you all to post a snippet of the next chapter! 🙌🏻 Because I definitely realize and know how long you guys have been waiting! I’ll post the snippet and then I also can give you an update about the fic/where I’m at, at the bottom.

Snippet of Ch.2:

"Why wouldn't you just tell us?!" Soap grits out, his voice taking on a dark tone as he turns his once sky blue, now stormy, eyes on you. "Do you realize what position you've gone and put us in?"

“Yeah, and what position’s that?” You engage, turning to square off against Johnny, the both of you only a foot apart since you’d been standing next to each other in line.

You’re met with a low warning growl, the motion of his hand balling up into a fist at his side not being missed by your peripheral vision. Despite your defiance not being unusual within the team, your designation now, is known, and an Omega standing up to an Alpha? Not taken kindly upon. Nor is it taken lightly. Regardless, they’re not your Alphas, and that means they have no claim over what you do or say. And while there’s always the risk of an Alpha disciplining an unruly, unclaimed Omega, you’re willing to take it.

"It's your fault, really," Ghost eggs on, making everyone whip their heads in his direction.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[If you don’t know what this is in reference too, here’s the masterlist for the series in question!]

So the reason why I haven’t posted the chapter yet is for a few reasons 💕 One, from a writing standpoint this one is quite longer, and I want it to be amazing for you guys! When I was writing the first chapter I had a friend to help me with the dialogue (which is why I feel I really struggle) and rn I don’t, so I think I’ve been nervous about that a bit.

But also, because in my real life there’s been a lot of major changes recently. In September I found out that I have CIRS (Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome) which, is basically like mold sickness but, like, permanent. So I’ve been trying to find somewhere safe to move/detox from the mold w meds bc my body can’t on its own, and I’m actually just finally moving into my new apartment on Sunday! 💖🙌🏻 so that’s cool.

Besides that, I also got diagnosed with, like, idk, I guess it’s a disability, technically, and the fact that I’ve been struggling my whole life with it but never knew has been… kind of mind blowing tbh? Like I haven’t told anyone except one person about it—not even my best friends yet—bc it’s been a lot to work through since… I guess I’ve technically had this my whole life but only now know at 25? 😅🤯

So it’s been a lot of working on my health both physically, mentally, and with moving, my family, Christmas coming up, and trying to find a job/support myself even day-to-day, it’s been kind of taxing tbh balancing everything. And that’s not even mentioning the little social life I do have 😅😭🙈 So while I know it’s frustrating waiting, and I’m sorry that it’s taken so long, I do want to be open and tell you guys what’s going on behind the scenes 💕 Granted, I know not everyone necessarily cares, and that’s okay! If you did read all this, though, I appreciate you and hope you have an amazing day!

Your ask, though, Nonnie definitely is inspiring me to sit down and really finish the next two chapters bc I have both laid out- one nearly finished, the other will be shorter (I think?) because of the plot point it’s mostly about 💕 I will say though, too, it does make me a bit anxious not having had a whole plan for this fic unlike the others which I’ve sort of started writing with a whole plot in mind 😂🙈💖 so I just hope you guys will continue to love it ask much as you’ve loved the first chapter! I genuinely have never received as much love on a work than that one chapter, alone! So I am truly grateful 💖

[toruro]

svt + early rainy mornings

a/n: i'm super new to tumblr and i just wanted a new platform to post some of my works on! (ao3 gets boring lol) but yeah, i hope who ever is reading this liked it!

seungcheol

i feel like when you guys go to sleep he'd want to have you like in his arms and just holding each other BUT he moves a lot in his sleep and so you two always wake up not being able to tell what position you went to sleep in because you end up on opposite sides of the bed LOL. but on rainy mornings i feel like he'd just get SO soft and like he already loves morning cuddles but he'd be extra clingy if it was all dark and cloudy outside—something about how he loves the idea of being able to keep you both warm with nothing but your proximity to each other bc you would be all pressed up against each other and—okay i think you get it! i feel like on these days especially, he'd give up title of big spoon because like he'll be so clingy and just wants you to spoon him as you two talk about your plans for the rest of the day.

jeonghan

honestly i imagine he'd be the opposite of scoups like i think he needs his space when he's trying to sleep—maybe not like completely on opposite sides of the bed but definitely not like pressed up against each other like scoups (maybeee a hand draped over your waist)—but in the morning you two somehow always manage to end up completely tangled together. when it's raining outside, he'll be the first to wake up, slightly nudging you awake as he caresses the side of your body with one of his hands, turning you over in your half-asleep haze so he can show you the rain since he knows you love it. he'll like spoon you for a bit as you two talk about the rain before he's getting up, pulling you along with him to the kitchen so you guys can have a cup of hot coffee together. you probably whine a little but never resist because you both know this is what you were looking forward to.

joshua

probably sleeps on his back so you kind of just snuggle up next to him! on a rainy morning though i feel like he'd be awake a little early before you and slip out of bed to make some breakfast. he'd make something nice and warm along with coffee, and when he's done he'd slowly wake you up. even though he's not fond of the idea of disturbing your sleep, he'd feel like he can make an exception this one time because the gloomy outdoors just make everything in your home seem warm and cozy. once he basically gets you to slug out of bed, he'll pull you into the living room where you two sit side by side on the couch with a blanket wrapped around you as you watch a movie and eat the breakfast he made.

jun

def the big spoon but will probably still be sleeping by the time you wake up so you kind of just stare out the window with your back to his chest, one arm draped over your waist. you enjoy the soft patter off raindrops on your window in sync with the quiet, huffing breaths of jun behind you, and you think that this is like the best way to spend your morning. eventually you'd get impatient, tracing your fingers over his hand that's in front of you, smiling to yourself when you feel him stir away. he'd mumble some sort of whine in your ear and you'd say something along the lines of "junnie look, it's raining," and although he's still a little sulky about being woken up, the way he pulls you closer to him tells you that he's happy to be with you right now

soonyoung

honestly like with him i feel like it's one or the other, like it can go both ways: 1) you two wake up at the same time and cuddle for a while, making jokes and talking about your plans for the day and what not, and eventually you're the one who has to force the two of you two get up and make some breakfast together OR 2) he's really excited about the rain and wakes you up in his jumpy sort of excitement, expressing little regret for disturbing your slumber LOL. will pull you out of the bed so you can look at the rain with him before hopping back into bed to cuddle.

wonwoo

definitely wakes up before you and while he is tempted to wake you up when he does, he decides to wait like a little longer but when he sees that it's raining super hard, he gently shakes you awake. he knows you love the rain and are mesmerized by it every single time, and he thinks that he's going to have to wake you up eventually so it might as well be to a sight you love to see. you're a little groggy when you first open your eyes, but seeing the soft smile on wonwoo's face, along with the now loud hit of raindrops against your window, is enough to have you shooting out of bed and looking out side. wonwoo would smile, slowly slipping out of bed and following in your footsteps so he could stand behind you and wrap his arms around your waist. watching the view, he'd press kisses into your shoulder before murmuring something about going to the kitchen to make some coffee.

jihoon

OKAY HONESTLY. writing for woozi is kind of hard for me but like let's think...definitely would wake up with one arm around you. i like to think that you two would wake up around the same time, and i feel like you two wouldn't need to talk or anything, you guys would just...sit there in a very comforting silence. i like to think that he'd try to sync his breathing with yours and eventually pull you closer to him so he can have you fully in your arms. he'd eventually mumble something about having to work and you'd pout, pulling him by the wrist when he tries to leave. he'd give in, of course, telling you that he's just going to go grab his computer. when he returns, he'll sit up against the headboard with you resting your head on his shoulder as you enjoy the sound of rain and the click of his keys.

seokmin

okay this is so random but i always love baking when it's rainy and i feel like dokyeom specifically would do this too like something about making brownie batter with you when it's all cloudy outside, cuddling up on the couch and watching some show with a blanket over you two while you two wait for the brownie to finish baking, and then sharing the sweet gooey goodness as you two settle back down to watch your show—AAAUGH! like i have no thoughts else whatsoever but like i just feel like this is so him.

mingyu

gets all soft when he wakes up and sees that it's raining. your legs are tangled together, keeping him warm but i think he enjoys the sun more than the rain and so he pulls you closer to snuggle into you. he's careful not to wake you up, but i feel like he also secretly craves the comfort you offer when he's being particularly whiny. he's just so much bigger than you and it's just so endearing so when you unconsciously push yourself deeper into his hold, all of his sulkiness just melts away. his fingers would tangle into your hair as he'd stroke your scalp, eventually causing you to stir away. you blink up at him with squinty eyes, wondering what's got him up earlier in the morning than usual, but when you realize that the dim light in your room is not due to it being early in the morning, and rather due to the thick clouds, you know what's got him all clingy. smiling at his neediness, you don't really say anything before pecking his lips and pulling him closer!

minghao

loves the rain just as much as you do, if not more. i think he finds is really calming, and he feels it's natures way of cooling itself down. i feel like he'd wake up first but you'd also be following him minutes later, both of you being groggy together—ALSO HE'S LIKE JEONGHAN! needs to sleep separate from you but in the morning ends up with you two joined at the hip basically. this morning it seems like you're spooning him, which isn't normal but is also welcomed on this cloudy morning. i don't think minghao would want to waste his time, you two would talk for a few minutes, exchanging lazy kisses before he's basically hopping out of bed to the kitchen. he doesn't wait for you, knowing you'll follow him where the two of you make something together. unlike the others, i don't think he'd be extra cuddly just because it's raining, but he'd definitely want to cling by your side and whatever you guys have in store for the day, he is going to do it with you.

seungkwan

honestly like mingyu but more extreme and annoying abt it (still sososos endearing though). i feel like he doesn't like the rain nearly as much as you do because i feel like he THRIVES on the sun and its brightness and its energy so when he wakes up before you he'll be all pouty and sulky and therefore feel like it's the perfect time to wake you up too so at least there will be someone to deal with his whining. you roll your eyes as soon as you're out of your half-asleep daze but smile and pull him close so that you're the big spoon. honestly in general, i feel like seungkwan (and all the other boys too) like being the big spoon but in this specific scenario he just wants to feel warm and safe in your arms. he'll be the least willing out of all the boys to get out bed, not wanting to leave you and your warmth.

vernon

ok honestly like this was meant to be soft but i feel like especially on a rainy morning, vernon would feel super like warm and happy and would offer to go down on you just for the sake of it. like you both would wake up around the same time and then he'd kinda just ask if he can Eat You Out and who are you to say no?? he loves the way your moans are like quiet and raspy in the early mornings and the dim light from outside along with the patter of rain really just sets the mood for him and he can't get enough of you. i think he'd take it slow though, and once you come down from your high he'd cuddle with you a little more and then you'd both go and make some breakfast or something

dino

manz would need to be like in physical contact with you the WHOLE night and the morning was no exception. i feel like the rain would wake him up and he'd just lay there with your body facing his, face sorta pressed into to your chest for a bit as he watches the rain. eventually, he'll move into a sitting up right position and carefuly adjust you so your body is kind of slung over his, chest on top his and head resting on his shoulder as you continue to sleep. i feel like he would just love the idea of holding you and the oddly casual intimacy of you sleeping on top of him, and he'll just be scrolling on his phone with a hand to your back, rubbing soothing circles, until you wake up. you'd be mumbling incoherent words until he grabs your chin, pecking you on the lips, and then moving your head so you can look out the window. you'd rest your head on his shoulder again as you take in the view, adjusting your legs so they're more comfortably situated around his body as he continues to rub your back and make conversation!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not defending an ex-friend when people called her a slut?

I (20 f) fell out with my best friend and roommate M (20 f) at the end of sophomore year of college. reason we fell out isn't the main subject of this post but I think it's relevant so I'll try and keep it as brief as possible.

For context I'm Black attending a VERY white school. Frenshman year I was the only black girl in my building and this was just post-covid so student groups were pretty dead. So first trimester most of my college friends were the girls from my floor including M (white) and S (20f, asian american). It was very isolating tbh, esp bc I experienced a lot of microaggressions, but the girls I befriended were pretty good at sharing my outrage and letting me confide in them.

The worst incident was when at a party, a guy (G, white) made some very racist comments towards me and in general (said the n-word a few times). I admit I escalated it by engaging w him and the whole thing got out of hand, a lot of people saw, and he got a reputation as a racist. Afterwards, he was always rude to me, blaming me for egging him on while drunk and just constantly making disrespectful comments about me and my 'attitude' where i could hear. no one ever said anything to his face but were supportive of me after the fact - S was always particularly supportive and said she could relate.

I was generally fine with avoiding G esp in sophomore year when we moved out. I lived with M and another friend (P) and it went pretty well. We were asked in like November if we would renew our lease, and though M and I wanted to the third friend didn't, so we began to think of replacements, and S was looking for a place.

Thing is, while S and I were still on good terms I felt like she was being a bit secretive w me. She'd often come over and talk privately w M and I got the gist she was seeing someone and didn't want me to know. I shook it off as us growing apart and the fact I'd gotten more involved in Black student groups and hadn't hung around with our dorm friends as much, but then in Jan, as we were planning to sign the new lease, I found out she was dating G. Tbh at this point we weren't even close friends that I felt a strong personal betrayal, but more so I was mad at them both for not telling me while making plans for us to live together. They knew I was uncomfortable around G and wouldn't want to live w his gf, esp without knowing. It felt like they were almost purposefully going behind my back.

I didn't do anything at the time, just slowly backed out of the lease renewal and made other arrangements. I stopped hanging out with S almost completely and was just cordial w her and took a big step back from M and our dorm friends.

The other relevant bit of context here is M had a boyfriend (T, 20 m) who was in our freshman dorm and very close to our year one friends (lived with them sophomore year and now junior year too). She broke up w him in Feb, which led to a lot of her friendships w our dorm friends (her only friends really) to deteriorate a bit, esp as she was no longer super comfy hanging around where he was. this especially became an issue in the spring trimester bc she got a new boyfriend over the break, a friend from her classes T hadn't liked.

So, M kept pressuring me to hang out w her and our dorm friends a lot more, which inevitably meant seeing S and now G, who they'd all decided they were cool being around when I distanced myself. I told her why i didn't want to and I didn't want to see G again but she promised he had 'changed' and wouldn't say anything to me. eventually I folded and went out w them all once and it honestly sucked. M completely abandoned me to be w her other friends, G didn't say anything but kept glaring at me the whole time, and I felt very out of place. afterwards I told M i was sorry, I know she felt awkward around her ex without me, but I wouldn't do that again.

She left it till like the end of the year then there was a big dinner she really wanted to go to that T would be at (her bf was not invited), w all our dorm friends. I kept saying I wouldn't go, but then she told me she checked w the hosts and confirmed (and promised) G wouldn't be coming. I said okay but asked we sit next to each other and made it clear how I felt around S etc, and she agreed and promised we would. Long story short G was there, I wound up next to S and across from him snickering at me the whole time, with her on the other end of the table. I texted M about it, she said it was 'fine' and I was imagining it and to try and enjoy the gathering.. yeah no. I dipped before desert, she chased me outside asking what was up and I explained why i was upset, she said i can't expect her to be there for me the whole night and she's allowed to 'have a good night without my drama,' i said racism wasn't drama and she literally dragged me along to deal with her drama, nevermind my comfort, and that she was an incredibly selfish friend for putting me in this position. I left, she wound up crying with everyone comforting her, everyone there (M included) went off at me for being an unsupportive friend/dredging up year old drama with G/overall making everything about race, I cut them all off and moved my stuff into my girlfriend's place a week after all this and didn't speak to anyone since.

which is pretty much all the backstory (longer than the main bit, sorry), that gets us to the actual AITA situation. Junior year starts, I'm at a welcome back party w some other friends and i'm vaguely aware my old dorm friends (including S and G) are also here, but it's a huge party and i'm w my very supportive friends who ik will back me if anything happens so i dont really care. eventually M arrives w her bf, gives me an awkward look but doesn't say anything to me.

Then at some point, I'm upstairs using the bathroom and I hear the girls from our dorm group speaking to M in the hallway. Apparently it came out over summer she'd hooked up w her new boyfriend before she ended things with T and they were all pissed at her (esp for her playing the victim w her ex). I tried to stay in the bathroom until the conversation ended but someone was pounding on the door and I wound up having to get out and waddle past them awkwardly to get back downstairs. When I got out one of the girls was calling M a slut and other names and while i tried to avoid it I accidentally made eye contact with M, who was super upset and crying. I kinda just shrugged and went downstairs.

Later that night i got a long ass message from her new bf about how he knows I'm upset with her but it wasn't fair for me to just leave her in that situation, and that it was petty and selfish of me (esp bc I'm usually the person calling out this shit). I spoke to my gf, and she said she understands why i did nothing but also that it's never okay for people to call someone a slut. I agree with that 100% and in any other case i might have tried to diffuse the situation (like if it was safe and I thought I could). I've told a couple friends who think I did nothing wrong and it wasn't fair to expect me to say smth when she never said/did anything to defend me and that she had it coming, but my mom told me I should've done the kind thing and not stoop to their level and it's made me feel really bad. I think I might be TA bc i could have stood up for her without anything bad happening to me beyond being in an uncomfortable convo, and also bc it kinda felt good seeing her friends turn on her? Like she threw me under the bus to be in their good books and defend them and they dropped her ass anyway, and if I acted from a vengeful place then thats asshole-y of me. but also no one in this story has apologised to me once and as my friend says its not fair to rely on black ppl to fix racist white ppls mess.

so, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[wickmitz]

you know rereading the comic got me thinking and i feel ur the best person for this. im very intrigued by mitzi and asa's dynamic pre, during, AND post atlas. i really wish we saw more of what happened before atlas' passing bc mitzi herself said asa used to be so nice to her and i'm just like YO WHAT HAPPENED anyways hi hello love ur blog

hi! i’m flattered you love my blog! and even more so by the fact you think i’m the best person to go to for this question! i’ve briefly talked about mitzi and asa before when analyzing the lunch scene in my long analysis for mitzi’s and wick’s relationship, where i said this on the matter :

to touch upon asa’s treatment of mitzi, even from as early as the phone call we see that mitzi is forced to have a conversation with asa on his terms rather than her own terms. mitzi sets out with a clear goal in mind -- learning why asa sweet would attack the lackadaisy in the way that he did -- and she's repeatedly talked over and threatened, with her questions remaining unanswered. it’s very clear very quickly that asa doesn’t respect mitzi nor view her as someone worthy of his time like atlas was, and almost appears to approach her in a misogynistic manner. he demeans something as simple as her ukulele as a ‘teeny little guitar’ and acts as though mitzi’s tears would be bothersome to him, some sort of burden he’d be forced to deal with rather than a valid emotional response to threats, degradation, and the likes. while asa is by no means wrong with some of his observations, he’s certainly rude and uncaring with how he goes about it. when he tells mitzi that he’s here to suggest that she step down, because he so generously has her interests in mind, she doesn’t buy it ; once again bringing up last nights events, where asa willingly armed the pig farmers with the lackadaisy’s arsenal and sent them over her way without so much as a warning. asa dismisses this coldly, once again dodging any fault and claiming it was ‘happenstance’ and entirely mitzi’s own doing. even now, when he’s actively threatening her and making it clear they won’t stay friendly if she keeps trying to make it in this business, he still won’t fully admit to any sort of responsibility for the disastrous night he helped put her through. while this seems rather typical of asa given his disrespectful streak ( something even mordecai, as valued and as useful as he is, suffers because of ) it’s worth noting that this side of him is new to mitzi and not one she was at all expecting. she even says as much here, in heartstrings.

we also know that mitzi only met atlas due to her performing at the marigold speakeasy first, and it’s likely asa was rather present in her life due to his bond with her now husband. asa even admits that mitzi may be confused because they’ve ’managed a friendly coexistence for so long,’ once again hammering home this idea that up until this point, asa was indeed kind to mitzi, or at the very least cordial. but with atlas out of the picture and mitzi trying to take his position, suddenly asa is more than okay with getting her killed or taking all she has left -- even his plan is nothing short of apathetic and cold, an afterthought, expecting her to give up something important to her and only offering a one time offer to play at the marigold room ‘sometime’ with that ‘old band of hers.’ what’s important here is that mitzi is ruthlessly betrayed by a man who used to like her and is treated as a lesser thing due to his view that she’s too incompetent to run a rumrunning business. he also brings up atlas to, in mitzi’s eyes, ‘intimidate ( her ) into agreeing with him,’ and towards the end of the lunch, she looks particularly kicked and undoubtedly hurt. she leaves this meeting that could’ve stayed a phone call with a potential enemy made and with the world on her shoulders, now more determined than ever to be someone people like asa would be forced to respect. instead of being dissuaded, she’s been encouraged, and it’s not hard to realize why.

so, i suppose those are my very brief thoughts about them post atlas! but as for pre and during, i don’t think there was ever anything really there outside of peaceful coexistence. as atlas’s wife, mitzi garnered respect she probably never had before as a traveling musician! asa wouldn’t dare insult her or belittle her once she became atlas’s wife and probably felt no need to do so in the first place. especially since, after all, asa’s the reason atlas found mitzi at all, back when she played for the marigold room where i assume she was treated well enough given asa’s rather friendly mask. he’s a jokester! he’s well meaning and goofy, always smiling and his eyes permanently upturned looking due to the patterns on his face … mitzi wouldn’t ever really see the asa that many other people deal with, and even when comparing asa to her rather quiet and eeire husband, well, he’d still seem leagues impressionable by default. asa purposely acts like he’s approachable and harmless, and while mitzi definitely knew he wasn’t some angel, i do think she fell for that mask more than she’d like to admit.

how i’ve always viewed their relationship is that the very nature of it was dictated by atlas may simply existing and owning her. his mere interest in mitzi was something phenomenal, and by default, something people had to respect. asa sweet was kind to her because she likely didn’t linger in the marigold room for too long before atlas snatched her up. he’s then very cordial to her, probably armed with compliments and generous gestures of interest because she’s atlas’s wife and asa can respect that role wholeheartedly. it’s only when atlas is removed and mitzi begins putting her paws where they ‘don’t belong’ that asa seems to drop the ruse, because there’s no need to keep it up anymore. even though mitzi isn’t harming anyone and hasn’t tried to step on asa’s toes once, he still steals from her and puts her in danger without care -- not once burdened by any real guilt as he continues to threaten her when she doesn’t back down immediately. with how clinical the removal of affection is here ( because even mordecai hasn’t managed to remove viktor, mitzi, or ivy in such a careful or ruthless way despite his awful actions and words ) i find it hard to believe he ever truly cared for mitzi as an individual person outside of atlas. the way he so casually oozes disrespect and belittles her without blinking an eye is … interesting!

all of this is to say that i don’t think asa and mitzi were ever personally close. they probably never knew each other deeply nor made any real steps to try. they’d see each other because asa had a habit of appearing in the lackadaisy just as much as atlas had the habit of being at the marigold room, and so they’d greet each other and asa would be excessively kind in that bumbling fool way he keenly presents himself and mitzi would be pleased by his presence. very simple ‘this is my friend’s wife’ vibes and nothing more. i doubt asa would even be interested in cozying up to mitzi due to atlas’s implied possessive behavior lol … but it was kindness and it was caring to an extent. it just wasn’t as deep or loyal as mitzi might’ve hoped it would be.

[mae-i-scribble]

My post on How I Attended and All Guys Mixer picked up a few more notes than I was expecting recently and it reminded me that I've been wanting to talk about how appreciative I am about how the series handles sexuality. I'll only be talking about the manga here bc I haven't seen the live action drama nor do I plan to. But I just think it's really neat that with our 3 male protags we get to see 3 very unique reactions to 1) learning that crossdressing is a thing and 2) how they in turn feel attraction wise.

I'll start off with Asagi as I feel his is the most straightforward in that he just takes everything in stride. Literally nothing phases him. Thanks to that he's the most nonchalant of the group, just chatting up and trying to make friends per usual. He's confused somewhat, but doesn't pay it any mind and just tries to get to know everyone as he would any other new friend. Personally, I can really see an aro/ace argument for Asagi due to the way he's just, completely unaffected and uninterested in the romantic ongoings around him. He compliments the girls and such but even when the manga is going pretty hard pushing its other pairings Asagi and Fuji truly just seem like good friends. I'm not delusional, this is a romance manga that from the get-go clearly has these pairings in mind to all get together romantically, but until it happens I can gaslight myself into believing my aroace truth (is coping so bad).

Going from most chill about everything to 2nd most chill we have Tokiwa. Tokiwa is an interesting case in that he's polite to such a degree that he does his best to mask his initial confusion and shock (to the extent that yknow, a comedy manga will allow). Though it doesn't really work because he is very overwhelmed by the situation at hand. However, I don't think this is attributed to the girls' crossdressing alone in the same way that Hagi can't get over his initial shock of the concept. Tokiwa's chief concern isn't the "weirdness" of it all but the fact that he came here expecting a meet cute with a cute girl and instead is getting a meet cute with someone equally as charming but with none of the reserved attitude we see Suo have while she's fem-presenting. My boy is not worried about gender norms he is worried for his sanity due to the attractive person flirting with him.

Honestly, this panel here implies that he finds masc-presenting Suo even more attractive. The fact that he even tries to reassure himself that because Suo is a woman this situation is less flustering is very interesting. Not that it does anything. Pouring one out for Tokiwa for real. As the manga goes on, Tokiwa gives off the vibe of someone who is comfortable with his sexuality enough that the gender presentation of the person he likes is irrelevant, both are attractive to him in different ways. Again, while Suo's crossdressing is a point of interest in the sense that it's not something he understands or gets intuitively, he doesn't have nearly the same level of crisis as Hagi does. His attraction to Suo is never questioned- rather it seems to be a question of whether or not he thinks Suo is genuine in her flirting.

And our last boy is Hagi, poor beloved Hagi who is having the time of his life trying to figure out that hey, sometimes people don't dress or present stereotypically. It's a rough life for you Hagi. However, his inner conflict is very gripping. I find his reaction and subsequent coming to terms with the idea of crossdressing a very realistic take on the subject much more akin to your average person being introduced to everything for the first time. It never feels mean spirited even if Hagi can be offensive in this thoughts and comments at first- it's born from a place of genuine confusion, both towards himself and towards the girls. Hagi falling in love with Kohaku, while a little to rife with misunderstandings for my taste, I think is a wonderful narrative of how even being straight doesn't mean that there is one way to feel attraction. While Kohaku throws around the idea of him being bi due to him being attracted to Kohaku while she's masc-presenting, Suo best sums it up when she says that it's not about the words or the looks, its about who it's coming from. And given that we haven't seen Hagi struggle with this from anyone else, it's a safe bet to say he likes Kohaku as masc-presenting, not necessarily masc-presenting people or men in general. Attraction as a fluid concept is something most straight romance stories, let alone a comedy based one, seldom bother to explore along the gender spectrum. Hagi's struggle to understand himself and what his attraction to Kohaku means to him personally is such an interesting take that it elevates the entire storyline out of miscommunication hell almost (just almost).

Idk idk this feels like a very silly rant to have but I do in fact love this manga more than a reasonable amount and this is definitely one of the top reasons for it. I would love for it to get a bit more attention but I shall settle for rereading it for the 20th time I suppose

[bittercideristaken]

I passed out fourteen times but here's my pointy objects fanart I've been working on for literally months and only now got a break from school and work to finish

(this is fanart from an ao3 fic called of gods, monsters, and pointy objects made for @gontagokuhara !!! I hope you're feeling better from covid!! I promise I won't feel bad about how long this took if YOU don't feel bad about the time this next chapter is taking, MASTERPIECES TAKE TIME!!!)

I had (have) more art planned but I didn't want to wait forever to post this, it's the reason as to why I haven't commented yet!! I was trying to finish this first and then I didn't have time LMFAOO I hope you like it!

Baby (giant) Gonta being raised (literally) by Nagito, distracted by a cool beetle!

2. Angie and her mom(s) off their island's shore....

3. Kaede in Chapter 10, after the RV explosion, in the bathroom of Mikan's cottage....

4. Ibuki and her daughter, Kanami, waking up in a panic after the attack

(Non)surprisingly, I think it'd be fun to also share some of my pointy objects headcanons in this same post! I wrote down a LOT of them in my notes app overtime, and they're mostly camp-based. But since this is long I'll just put it under the cut ;)

• Miu's hair used to be the exact shade of blonde as kaede, but she dyed it pink with manic panic and it's NEVER come out

• Nagito and Ibuki were already friends, but only started becoming close after the Tsumugi incident bc of their shared grief and self-doubts... she basically stayed at camp the whole time while the triplets healed up until Junko banned parents from seeing their kids

• Ryoma was a daily smoker before coming to camp, but Nagito encouraged him to switch to nicotine patches

• The counselors didn't realize Gonta needed glasses for a HOT minute until one day while Hajime was trying to set up a lesson plan for his schooling and couldn't figure out why Gonta's reading comprehension went way down when they used a chalkboard... and they're like "...can you NOT see it?😟" like "oh. well he needs glasses, thats it" *facepalm*

• Tenko goes to a lot of girl group concerts with Himiko and Peko! So when she comes to camp, Kiibo begs her to show them the videos 😭

• Sometimes someone gets sick and can't do dinner duty, and sometimes Nagito says "I'll cook" and everyone rejoices because they KNOW it's a pizza night 😭 they literally bet on how long he'll be struggling in the kitchen until they hear the car leaving camp

• Miu is a SERIAL clothing theif, even though she constantly hates on everyone's style/says their clothes are too big/small for her anyway. Kaede is a constant victim of this 😭 she'll tear up her closet looking for a specific top in the morning and then come out to breakfast to see Miu wearing it (it has caused physical fights)

• Angie and Tenko always show up with the cutest hair with all kinds of accessories. They're the best at braiding and most of the camp has had their hair braided at least three times in one summer.

• Kaede and Kirumi are pretty damn good at sewing! The long haulers bring Kaede things that need mending when Kirumi isn't there lol, and Kaede makes all her own Halloween costumes! (And trades her chore duties to help others with their own costumes)

• Rantaro is GENUINELY a tiktok star 💀 he did musical.lys to cringey music unironically when he was like 12 but ppl really started following him for his aesthetic travel videos, and "dying my hair/piercing myself at 3am bc I'm bored" videos (also some unfortunate thirst traps and dance videos💀) Shuichi shows up in the background sometimes and Rantaro teases him because ppl keep commenting "WHO THAT IN THE BAAAAACCKKKK" but yeah he doesn't take it crazy seriously or post very often

• Himiko has known Hajime/Nagito the longest of all the campers (they literally changed her diapers for Chiaki) but she used to hide behind her mom's legs as a toddler bc she was shy 🥺

• Miu works better with music on, it's like her only real psychological tie to her Godly parent (other than the attitude)💀 she dances around her room while working on projects and turns the music up REALLY loud in her cabin and makes everyone complain until she's gifted a pair of really good headphones for Christmas

• Angie also LOVES to surf, Sakura wasn't the best surfer before but she literally learned just so she could surf with her daughter 🥺 it makes her feel closer to Aoi

• Sometimes when the counselors are SUPER overwhelmed they literally say that they've been called to a meeting and just take the weekend off somewhere 💀💀💀 usually one stays behind but it's something they've NEVER admitted to even though the triplets have definitely figured it out after Hajime came back from a """""meeting"""""" with a trinket for his office 💀

• (KINDA NSFW) But Ibuki has had the most relationships with other gods out of everyone else followed by Makothoe 😭 This doesn't really say much it's just a record bc the gods have relationships with humans anyway 💀 if you account for humans it's probably Leon or Teru LMAOOOO (honorable mention to the imposter because LMFAOOOO but I headcanon he has like real relationships with humans and sticks with them for a while not necessarily uhhh yk)

• Most of the gods are used to acclimating themselves to their time, but like, sometimes they still don't catch up with EVERYTHING and they act like parents who struggle to get Siri to work or squint when they have to use a phone (The counselors got sick of a 12 y/o Kokichi asking if they had games on their phone and kokichi got sick of them saying "a telephone was made for calling people" so he got a phone slightly before the other campers 😭) (Byakuya and Makoto got a smartfridge that they STILL struggle to work 💀) (Taka's face turns red after the first 10 minutes he takes to connect a bluetooth device to his car)

• Vocal stims spread across camp like wildfire until Hajime nearly tears his hair out begging them to stop (vocal stims ALSO linger in MEETINGS LMFAOO I think the indubitably bit in sdr2 was so real and funny 😭)

• Baby rantaro was DRIPPED TF OUT💀 Makoto and Byakuya had him in designer clothes as a toddler, to the point where reporters/business partners were suggesting he go into junior modeling because he was such an adorable kid! Makoto likes to tease/brag to Rantaro about it lol. He still has the toddler clothes stored away and a bunch of photos of baby rantaro in formal wear😭

• Kaito has a scar on his stomach from when he tried to fight off the monsters that killed his grandparents

• Kaede is "talking smart", and so is her twin, Miu, but it SHOWS when she's talking trash about someone 😭 she has an Azealia Banks level of world-ending, life-changing reads at the tip of her tongue

OKAY THATS ALL FOR NOW BYEEEEEEE

[kurczeno]

okay a quick question to dragon age fandom

why do we hate jennifer heppler?

i saw this few tumblr posts and everyone was like "but it was jennifer heppler, ew". I'll write my thoughts on her based on WHAT I KNOW and just keep in mind - I was 9 when DA2 came out, I played it but I might simply not know some things about her, some drammas or anything.

like first of all - i know there was a whole drama about her not liking playing games, but i hope we are not true gamers tm, bcs gross.

second of all - i know, she wrote anders in da2 and I hate him (I also like him, I just think hes super inconsistent + an asshole), I really do. He has a terrible char dev arc and is a kind of shitty romance, because no matter what you do, he never trusts you, which really sucks. Also the cannibal thing is weird and kinda makes no sense considering Justice is a spirit, so it's a valid argument. BUT!

a) anders in awakening was written by David. So, while as a writer she should be able to write a character, even if not from scratch, it wasn't the easiest job considering that I'm pretty sure the plan was to make him more tormented and depressed and all that jam. He turned out whiny and just... annoying at times, I'm not going to argue with that, but what I'm trying to say is that it wasn't the easiest job to go from "zevran but even more stupid" (i love daa anders btw) to what they PROBABLY had in mind, especially when you get an already established character. Still, could have been done waaaay better, true.

b) she did write branka, so one of the best characters in origins. The Orzammar plot is truly DA at it's peak, sorry.

c) back to Anders but I don't really think the whole "lack of trust" thing is her fault, because you know. DA2 was super rushed and they worked on tight schedule. So many of the game faults are because the game is barely an RPG tbh (still, a great fucking game though)

d) tbh the cannibalism short story, besides... well cannibalism, that makes a little sense is fine. Like, it's really interesting to see how Anders is slowly loosing his mind. And eating templars. (sorry I will never get over this, I just have all the memes in mind and theyre hilarious)

So is there something I don't know about or is it just "anders sucks, so Jennifer does too"?

sorry if it came out rude, i just wanted to lay down my arguments too and make it "as quick as possible".