#i'm nit actually moving out for real

[moinsbienquekaworu]

We're leaving Saturday morning, I just took basically all of my clothes out of my closet and piled them near my suitcase so we know what I'm taking, and seeing my closet all empty (except for all the stuff I never wear I'm not taking with me) is like. Oh my god I'm leaving and I'm not coming back for months. Every time I leave for holidays I think "oh I should take this and this and this and this juust in case, yeah it's just a week but what if I really need my thick socks in the middle of summer?" before I restrain myself and just take three t-shirts, but now that I have the opportunity to pack literally everything in there, it feels wrong. I should not actually be packing up every piece of clothing I still wear. The clothes that stay at home are proof that I'm coming back, if I take them with me too there's no reason for me to go back!

[creepyclothdoll]

Everything Is Fine (comic): Everything we know about the New Government (SPOILERS)

I just finished season three. I need to talk to someone about it.

SPOILERS AHEAD.

Up until the end of Season 3, I (like many) suspected Red Status was some sort of illusion, recording, deepfake, etc. That's still not off the table, but Season 3 gives us a lot of evidence that Red Status is real, that the children are genuinely being held on rooftop camps, and that at least some of them are genuinely brainwashed in favor of the New Government.

Since the start, I've felt that the New Government was probably aliens or rogue AI or some other sci-fi non-human entity, because it seems like no human being would have anything to gain at all from doing any of the stuff the New Government is doing. I'm sticking with this theory, that it's non-human, because of how organized yet indecipherable its actions seem to be.

So what do we know about this group or entity? I'm making a list. I haven't read the previous seasons since they came out, so I'll definitely miss details-- please feel free to add or correct me!

...

RESOURCES

It has vast resources. It is able to produce cat heads for every single person in these communities-- possibly for the entire world, and distribute them. It is able to produce and maintain inconceivably vast quantities of surveillance equipment. It is probable that it has built all of the dystopian cookie-cutter suburban homes shown in season one, but that could just be the actual suburbs, idk.

It was able to "source replacements" for all utilities immediately upon taking over, an improbable feat.

The takeover interfered with the communications of the International Space Station.

It was somehow able to gather and communicate with all children in either full secret or possibly instantaneously, leading the children to "join their cause" at the start of the takeover. Children were either very quickly or very secretly brainwashed and radicalized enough that some were willing to taunt and berate their own parents as they committed suicide at the command of the New Government.

It is able to somehow monitor every single person and sense when they are doing something "wrong." In the first season, this monitor's activity is depicted through red eye cameras, and it seems VERY nit-picky about people dropping the happy facade even slightly. HOWEVER, this monitoring seems like it can easily be tricked by people using cheeky turn-of-phrase and code (such as Judy asking Maggie how many square feet her 'turkey' has). It also doesn't seem to notice or care when someone suddenly goes off-line (entering a faraday cage). Its most effective monitors are human beings, however, as it highly incentivizes people to turn each other in.

...

THEMES IN BEHAVIOR

It has a sense of order which is completely unintuitive to human beings (groceries and products organized alphabetically, streets and businesses named by number, 'Art factory').

It encourages betrayal and persecution. It does not care whether anyone punished is legitimately guilty of anything-- the purpose seems to be to continue to make people inflict punishment on each other as much as possible.

It enables and encourages cruelty of individuals' own free will. The mayor of Lakeview must move one couple "up" each month, but there is no limit to the number they can red status. The mayor has extreme limitations on their power when it comes to helping people, but unlimited power when it comes to hurting them, which encourages abuse while also leaving the actual choice to abuse power up to free will.

It exterminates huge swaths of the population at a time. It seems like MOST people are probably killed under this regime.

It has an ultimate goal. The current status quo is not its end game. It created the numbered neighborhood society and then it destroyed it after about three years, allowing only a select few who "played the game" right (betrayed their neighbors) to escape.

It changes the rules from phase to phase, seemingly encouraging "cheating" in the second part of its game by providing everyone in Lakeview with an apparently unsurveilled boat. This could be ineptitude on its part, but it seems like a huge oversight for an otherwise over-the-top hyper-surveilling entity.

It is committed to control over aesthetic. It takes full responsibility of a mass-production strategy to feeding the population. Food is mostly canned, there are no brands, and the quality seems poor and inauthentic. Where are these resources coming from? Who is generating all this food, and where?

It is committed to aesthetic over functionality. (Charlie worked at the box factory, Sam worked in moving the boxes around, while Bob worked at the box incinerator, implying there is no value or purpose to many peoples' jobs other than busywork). They designated Ormel red status because the mask he was assigned was a misprint.

It needs human beings to enforce its will. An empowered individual must make the choice to "red status" someone else. It seems to overwhelmingly rely on citizens to use the tools it provides to enforce its rules and maintain its order. Is this an actual need, or a choice it makes? Would it be able to "red status" or possibly kill everyone if all of its enforcement officers refused to push the button?

...

HISTORY & METHODS OF REIGN

The military was likely targeted first, as the army was already executing people in the streets the same day the overthrow was announced.

The cat heads seem to be made of a combination of current human technology and sci-fi wildness, containing both cameras, tracking devices, and strange green ooze that can "heal."

The smiley sticker system was not invented by the New Government. The manipulative facade of a system where you can supposedly "buy" a merit with an unattainable amount of money was invented by Lakeview, as was the voting system. A large amount of the sinister system of Lakeview was created by Mayor Laura and the town council based on assumptions they made from reading between the lines. We don't know if this is what they New Government WANTS, but we definitely know it's ALLOWED.

They declared another lakeview-like town a "failed project" and redded everyone, possibly due to corruption and fighting in the town.

It often communicates through implication. When the New Government took over, it "implied" responsibility to the press.

It claims Lakewood's job is to determine who is "truly loyal." Lakewood must send one couple "up" and at least one "down" each month. It was up to the mayor of Lakewood to interpret what this meant, and she interpreted it as snuffing out rebellious activity.

It mandates the hunts in Lakewood. The practice of rewarding those who hunt down and kill red status people is a direct edict from the New Government.

Whatever happens to the children who do survive is bad enough that most of them are deeply psychologically scarred.

We may assume that the red-status children actually did jump, as we have more evidence for that now than we did before. We have seen what is implied to be dried blood from the splatter, but no bodies. It is implied that the bodies were removed with a vehicle. At the camp we have seen, it looks like of the six children camping there (estimated from the number of cots shown), four died.

...

ASSUMPTIONS & GUESSES

We have no proof or evidence that any real human beings are running the New Government. The highest-up official we have seen was described as just another victim herself.

Maggie said "This world takes people... and turns them into monsters." I suspect that is at least part of the goal of the New Government.

Winston's daughter Lucy said, as she was about to kill herself, that they were doing what they were told "so the people who deserve this world get to live in it." That seems like it must be very close to what the New Government is telling them.

Hillside is not the end of the "game." It is strongly implied that Hillside residents are still locked in some sort of betrayal-based "loyalty" test.

So what do you think? What is the nature of or purpose of "The New Government?" And how do you think Oscar fits in?

[tpwk-keepwriting]

BEST FRIENDS BROTHER

WARNINGS; Mentions of alcohol. Crying, angry. Not many.

YOUR NAME IS ELLA!!

HARRY’S POV;

there was no way in hell. I came to this club to get away from all my problems, but of course, you had to be there. I shook my head. I went to a party of some sort. I had a shit day. My parents have been up my ass about how I ‘play around too much’ or that I need to actually look for a ‘real’ job. So, when I heard about a party, I came to check it out. But of course. You and my sister were here. Joined at the hip. See, my sister’s always been the privileged one. She gets the praises, the money, the love, the affection. But what do I get? Shit. Literally. I don’t care that my sister’s here. It’s you. See, I once used to like you. Keyword, used. But as soon as you turned 13, and got a pair of boobs and got your first period, you became a bitch, well, okay, sure it was both ways. But I was also 15 at the time.

Now you’re 21, and I’m 23. And it’s been the same since. I hate how you’re always at our house. And sure, maybe my parents are right about finding an actual job. And I’ve been trying. I want to become a tattoo artist. But that’s beside the point. My jaw clenched as I watched the way your body twirled and swayed to the beat of the music. You’ve clearly had something to drink. My sister, well she’s off the hook. I can tell. I watched as my sister just left walked away off with some man, someone she's been hooking up with on the side. I watched as you brushed the hair that was stuck to your face as you looked around for someone. I watched as your eyes landed on mine, and you smirked, and before I knew it you were walking over. I sighed, sipping my beer.

"well, well, well. if it isn't Harry!" you smiled, sitting on the barstool besides me. placing your clutch in front of you. "Ella" I nodded, before my eyes skimmed down you. you were wearing a dress. this dress was short, strapless dress. It was red. You had paired it with a pair of gold hoop earrings, a gold necklace with a small heart locket and a red clutch that's probably storing your phone, lipstick and gum. you were wearing red heels, that matched perfectly with your dress and clutch.

"what are you doing here?" you asked me, and I looked at you. "why do you care?" I asked, glaring at you. "wha- I don't. I was just asking. why are you so uptight and an asshole all the time" you rolled your eyes, sitting up a little nit straighter, before I watched you order a beer. "I'm only an asshole sweetheart when you're around. m'kay?" I stated, finishing the last gulp of my beer, before ordering another beer. "yeah haha you're so funny." You said sarcastically. "Oh I know I am, so funny" I shook my head, opening my beer, which made a small sizzle with the fizz.

"No you're actually a dick. you're 23, still living at home, and no fucking job. you're a looser" I watched your lips as they moved. and I clenched my beer bottle. I know where assholes to each other. but that hurt, and I'm not one to get affected by words easily. "Fuck off" I coldly stated, keeping my eyes on the beer label. "come o-" "I said fuck off, you wonder why I hate you? its those fucking snarky comments that leave that stupid mouth of yours. I hate you so much Ella. okay? So why don't you get your ass up and away and fuck some random guy, slut."

I watched as your mouth slightly dropped. Your eyes wide. You slammed down your bottle. Grabbing your clutch and storming away. I shook my head. Sighing. Fuck, maybe I shouldn’t have gone that far. I’m just a fucking idiot. I stood up. Placing a few bills on the table before pushing through the crowd. I looked around, seeing my sisters tongue down the guys throat, but I couldn't find you. Or see you, though I could care less. I walked outside looking around, before I hear soft sniffles. I turn my head around, before seeing you. Sitting at a bench, crying. I have a darn feeling it's because what I had said. but I don't regret it. I don't regret any word. I think. I sighed, shaking my head, watching as you looked over your shoulder, seeing me. I watched as you rolled your eyes. Standing up, grabbing the red clutch.

"Fuck off" you just stated, wiping the tears under your eyes, watching as you smudge your mascara more than it was. "Ella, whats wrong?" I asked, watching as you just shook your head. You seemed to love to do that. "You are so fucking stupid. First of all, I am not a slut. I haven't even sl- just-" You cut yourself off with a sigh. Shaking that god damn head of yours again. "Just you. okay? your words hurt." You finished. I looked to the ground, before looking up at your face, watching as your eyes jumped to watch people walk past. "Your words hurt too, you know?" I stated. Before you laughed softly, and I cocked my head to the side, confused. "bullshit" you laughed, and I raised my eyebrows. "What?" I asked.

You didn't even look up at me, you just kept watching the bushes or branches move by the soft wind. "You never get hurt. Not by words anyways. come on, Harry." You stated. I know you're upset, but you can't dare to say I never hurt. I'm a human being as well. I have feelings. "Ella, I have feelings too." I started, but you cut me off before I could even finish my next sentence. "What feelings? you're an ass to eveyone but your sister! You don't even care that I'm your sisters best friend?! and you don't give a fuck!" I couldn't tell if it was the alcohol that was making you more like vulnerable, and me. "That's not true. I care about other people, Ella. you know that." I stated looking at you, the wind making your hair blow softly. "Who else? who else do you care about? huh?" You asked, and I just looked at you. "El-" but you cut me off. "If you care about anyone else, name them" I watched as you just looked at me, and I watched to say I did care about you, and that I cared about my friends. But I couldn't. It didn't feel right. I was so lost. I cared about you, but at the same time I don't even know if I did.

"Hmm, yeah. Okay" Was all I heard you say, before I watched you walk away. You didn't stop, but you did call out; "Tell Gemma I went home". I watched as you walked away, sniffling, before getting in a taxi. I just stood there, watching as you got in the car, eventually driving off. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't move. how could I. I am so confused about my feelings for you. I've never seen you cry. sure, I have heard you from time to time when you would stay over. But it's the fact I never even seen you cry tonight. I just heard, and seen like three tear drops. I don't know how long I was standing there, frozen. But eventually, Gemma tapped me on the shoulder, clearly stressed.

"I can't find Ella! Harry- have- have you seen her???" Her words slightly slurred, but concern was there. I blinked, twice, looking at my sister. "Shit, uh yeah she's- she went home. I forgot to tell you" I nodded, looking at her, as she let out a breath of air. sighing. And then, she hit my bicep. "bro, I was concerned! Thanks for nothing." She sighed, before speaking up again. "Wait, why was you talking to Ella? you hate her so mu-" But I cut her off "Why does everyone say I hate her?! I don't- I don't know! I'm so confused on how I feel about her. It's so confusing! I'm confused!" I let out a huge breath, watching as Gemma's eyes went wide, just looking at me. "I may be drunk, but what the fuuuck!"

Gemma stated, looking at me, mouth wide open. I shook my head, looking at her. "We need to go home. Come on."

-

THE ENDDDDD!

thank you for reading it! It may be a little sloppy. But this was only Part 1! I’m not sure when part two will be coming. I’ve always wanted to be a writer. I loved making little stories, so it’s a start. Also wanna say a big thank you to @finelinemia , @this-is-tiny-mia for inspiring me to do one shots and stories, and a huge thank you to my bsf @myonlyangel13 @myonlyangelwrites13 for always encouraging me and being here for me!!💞🫶🩷🤍

I love you all!

Big kisses!!

@hopeustaythenight @myonlyangel13 @evas1ncenewyork @thesunshinetemptress @pawmpkinnn

Be added to my tag list HERE

[vampirevatican]

Hi its me with the religeous trauma ask. I'm back with angst. What if they were like in a maze if it was in the future episode one day. The slashers just found MC nit moving at all. Like the found them but its not them. Beacause MC is sitting in the corner looking empty. Then see a dead body of whoveer send that guy to her. When she like wake up or something. They imediately start to have a breakdown and stared at the knife in their own hand. What can you do with this one? Cause I love to see more of your headcanon and stuff.

im assuming this is a mindfuckery situation, because then they're left to ask if they really killed mc or not

Ghost has joked about it many times, but to actually do it.

No... no no no, dammit! Come on little devil, you can't go down that easy right?" He's pleading but there's no answer. No laugh, no 'i got you's' or sly remarks. No deus ex machina to save the day. And as the tears stream down his face he wishes you were here to wipe them away.

Leather can't believe it...

His eyes dart back and forth between his chainsaw and the lifeless body before him. His mind trying to find peace in the midst of the turmoil. 'Did he make it quick?' 'Was it painless?' 'Did they cry for me to stop or snap out of it.' He falls to his knees as the guilt and self-hatred envelop him. He really was just a tool, a puppet to the whims of whoever cursed him.

Mike is frozen.

His eyes slowly look to his knife, and then to the corpse. Your corpse. His to kill, but not like this. Hell somewhere along the way he had changed his mind. Not just his kill, but his love, his heart, his light. Even if you had become as tainted as him. He slowly approaches the lifeless body and cradles it. His... even in death.

Jay is a mess. All tears, runny nose. It can't be real.

"Wake up! Come on, please, wake up." He begs, pleads, shakes your lifeless body and gets no response in return and it makes the river of his eyes turn into an ocean. You have to be okay, he needs you, what is he gonna do now. How is he gonna know everything is okay? What if he has questions and only you can answer them. He loves you... what does he do when someone he loves is gone. He loves you. He loved you, and he killed you.

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 59 Pain Posting

Here we go, dear void. What fresh hell awaits our MC this week? We are back to setting up for the next big story moment, for one, so there's lots to speculate over before waiting to see how it all plays out. Oh, and suffering of course. There's plenty of that for almost everyone.

Bad TL of editor's notes and the colour page (second editor's note could technically be spoilers I guess):

First page: 慘状を前に… [sanjou wo maeni...] "Standing in front of a terrible scene..."] Last page: 死んだハズ… だが…?! [shinda hazu... daga...?!] "Supposedly dead... and yet...?!"

Colour Page Text (removed in EN version): 見据える過酷な旅路 [misueru kakoku na tabiji; "Sights fixed on the difficult journey ahead"]

Not much to say about the colour page except I like how moody it is (and big Makizumi guy is pretty cute with his pose). Guess I was wrong as usual about the Makizumi following Samura. Would be cool if they acted like personal bodyguards to Chihiro! They're the only ones who can really fight against Samura right now due to being presence-less ninjas after all. That's a really interesting conflict for them too- they clearly care for him a lot as the only person who treated them as actual people, and he definitely cares for them in return. His desire to save them during the Hishaku raid wasn't an act in the slightest! But more on that later.

Samura vs. Chihiro: Round 1

Stressed-out scribble-eye Chihiro returns... someone give him a hug.

Glad I didn't try to predict shit because I would have been totally flabbergasted by how this went. Way to make a (technical) liar out of me by saying Chihiro can't die since he's the MC, Hokazono-sensei.

Watching Chihiro break down in real time was so hard, man. This poor guy got his shit rocked by John yesterday at the Rakuzaichi, watched Tenri die a pointless death for the same reasons he's on his own journey, witnessed the horror of his dad's Civilian Murderton 3000 at 1% capacity, and now Samura, one of his heroes, betrayed them all with his dad's legacy. He even got one-tapped when he finally lost his cool for real.

Chihiro seriously can't handle all of this and it's so heartbreaking to see. This guy was not built for a bloody revenge mission at all. Now that he died, though... seriously, what's going to happen next?! Do we switch PoV to a different character while Chihiro's dealing with whatever's happening to him in what looks like a hospital morgue?

There are also some questions about the circumstances of his death and apparent revival- did he really die, or was that Kamunabi misinformation for/from the Hishaku mole? If he did, then how did he come back? And how does that affect his contract with Enten? There's absolutely nothing to go on right now so it's time to hunker down and not go crazy waiting for answers.

Apropos of nothing: I wonder if that wound that Samura gave him will scar. If so, it would mirror the one Uruha had on his shoulder:

RIP I'm still not over you, Uruha.

Probably just a nit-picky detail thing that won't amount to anything, but I wanted to post Uruha from when he was still alive so there you go. I'd be very surprised if Uruha came back somehow even though Chihiro apparently may have escaped death... It seems super-duper extra final that he's toast thanks to the duel he had with his master before getting done in. May you please reappear in flashbacks from time to time so I can get sad that you're no longer with us all over again.

One last thing before we move on to the Hishaku at Disused Building Full of Trash HQ:

SHIBAAAAAA SAVE YOUR NEPHEW AND HIS (BOY)FRIEND

Shiba showing up was in "delusions" territory for me but I'm so glad he's here!

Of course he's getting called out (kind of) for not telling Chihiro the truth- we saw him being one of Kunishige's top glazers back in chapter 1 despite how uncomfortable it made the dude to be praised. So we just have to sit back and wait for the secrets to come out once Chihiro's well enough to at least listen. And if Shiba can bring himself to talk. All the older guys in this manga are so guilty they'd put a Catholic to shame and Shiba already struggles with not being able to deter Chihiro from taking this bloody path in the first place. He almost failed to save a Rokuhira twice now too.

Samura's kindness towards Chihiro is so genuine even when he's trying to kill the kid. Don't ruin the image of Kunishige for him, Shiba- let him live and die in ignorant bliss.

"Your dad's legacy is the problem."

A man who shared Kunishige's vision has come to want to destroy everything about it and help expose the lies that made them into "heroes"... man, is there any non-Hishaku character in this manga that isn't encumbered by some huge amount of guilt?

Toxic Old Man Yaoi

Nice trashed warehouse HQ, bros. Definitely getting "we lost the war and suffered for it" vibes from these guys. I'm willing to stake 1 (ONE) slice of birthday cheesecake on everything I've talked about in the past regarding their origin- that the Seitei War was a civil war, and the Hishaku were on an imperialistic/dynastic side that lost. BECAUSE:

The Owl spread was AMAZEBALLS

MY NEMESIS

It's deliberate! This is the third time this damn vase has shown up, and in four panels this chapter no less! I need lovingly detailed close-ups of every flower to better ID them for the hanakotoba interpretations but I've only gotten a few so far. Most importantly, a matsumoto (elegance/nobility), sakurasou (deep desire), kiku (Imperial imagery), and what might be a poppy (for assured victory) but I'm not completely confident on the last one.

But anyway, yeah. Another yaoi bomb has hit the fandom.

Look at John talking like a five-year-old about unbreakable pinky promises lmao

Did it have to be pinky rings? What's next, they're connected by a red string? HOKAZONOOOOOOOOOOOO

They're in some kind of toxic stew of a relationship for sure with how things went down this chapter. Worst Jeanist helpfully gave us the details of the pact they made to get Samura's help and he's the only one who's concerned that the guy can actually make good on his "promise" to kill them all. Hope he's got some good anxiety management techniques because John won't say a damn thing about what his contingency plans are until they're enacted, apparently.

Can't run from the blind man.

How do you manoeuver against the guy who is set up to be the tactician of the war, though? His ability to super sense things and scout with that awesome-looking Owl power will definitely make it difficult to go against him despite being blind. And the EN TL says "control" here but the wording in JP was closer to "flushing out" like someone who pursues and exposes prey animals or drives cattle/sheep/etc. So Samura's definitely someone who's used to scouting and hunting, making him quite the formidable assassin.

Of course they're using each other though. And of course there's a separate Kamunabi mole that gave away the Rokuhira household's info. Guess we'll get into that shortly since I'm doing a dangerous thing and assuming that the Kamunabi have rounded up the rest of the Bearers at the HQ to chill with them and the Sword Master. Will they have enough manpower to stand against both the Hishaku and Samura by next week? Will Hakuri even wake up by then? Will Chihiro be able to fight at all? Probably since this is a high-octane action series! I'll just have to shut up and accept the condensed timeline sooner or later. (Seriously though, only a week?!)

"消耗 [used up/exhausted/depleted]" is one way to put it, I guess.

Wonder why they didn't kill Hakuri outright if he was such a problem. Do they have something planned for him later? It's not like John cares about sparing people's lives in the way Samura does, so wouldn't he have mentioned it would have been better to get rid of him for good? Eh, probably just a pointless nitpick. Hakuri's staying to the end of the series in all probability, so he just couldn't die here.

Needing to negotiate with other members-John's a first among equals like Beard Guy at the Kamunabi, maybe? Let's meet all the Hishaku members soon to find out!

Samura, Chihiro, Hiurhiko, and Worst Jeanist Musings

[slaps Samura] This bad boy can fit so much misguided grief in it.

This guy is already an incredibly compelling villain that I've done analysis on bit by bit as we got new info, and I gotta say that if I wasn't sold hard on Kyora for personal reasons then Samura would easily be #1 already. He's so complex and multi-layered! I think the detail that makes him great as a "villain" is that his convictions are colder than the surface of Pluto compared to Chihiro's (and most other character's) who burn bright and hot. Samura doesn't have any passion behind what he's doing, just an inflexible will to see a miserable but necessary job through to the end. If Chihiro's an unstable blazing young star, Samura is the black hole that remains after a supernova finally burns out.

The contrast during their first face-off is extremely telling too. Neither hesitate but Samura easily wins due to his composure alone, never mind the skill and experience gap. Poor Chihro's broken inside and out after finding out one of the people his dad trusted is helping his mortal enemies; the stoicism that John fractured the day before completely falls apart here to reveal Chihiro at his lowest.

"Better dead than a guilty sinner," is it? Too late for that!

And Samura's doing it all because he wants to spare him from becoming a tainted sinner. I can't hate Samura at all- he's doing this as an act of kindness with sympathetic motivations despite how far gone off the rails he is. This isn't a typical villain who just wants the world to burn after he wallowed in his misery for too long! I'm looking forward to seeing how Chihiro recovers and prepares to face him again. If he's going to be the one to do it, that is.

Look at this pathetic ugly frog guy.

Just putting this in my back pocket to pull out later if it manifests somehow. I don't have strong feelings one way or the other about Hiruhiko being the one to kill Samura right now, but I do hope he's not redeemed somehow to join the main cast. My feelings on why are extremely petty so I'll just leave it at "don't make him the bonkers former criminal ally guy that everyone sorta tolerates because he's earnest and useful". I will concede that he was almost cute this chapter, though. Worst Jeanist probably deserves a raise for putting up with him.

And now we know how John got his arm back too.

Another healing utility person like the Makizumi, huh? I wonder if we'll get more lore on if this is a field of study that anyone who can use sorcery can take advantage of (like tools), or if it's how their personal abilities manifest. Probably won't get answers unless we spend more time with the Makizumi so here's hoping!

WARNING: TERMINAL BRAIN ROT AHEAD

Not kidding in the slightest about the absolutely mind-numbingly stupid takes about this (very cool!) cover illustration. Skip this if I don't cut it from the final draft of the post unless you're into batshit ramblings from an insane fudanshi.

[feral screeching]

I've got really strong feelings about this cover. REALLY strong. Only the first of them is justified though. Kinda.

One, HIYUKI IT'S BEEN SO LONG I MISS YOU COME BACK TO THE MAIN STORY SOON! She looks so cool too! I love that she doesn't have to do blatantly feminine stuff ever- she's 100% badass and awesome every time she shows up. I'm waiting warmly for your return, my Spaghetti Queen! Use your frenemy rival status to help Chihiro overcome his issues this arc!

This cover and some of the community's reactions to it sparked a lot of thoughts that I've been working out for the past few days. Some about how leaks are being handled, some about how people are reacting to the characters and the composition, a lot about Hiyuki herself. The first easy enough: yes, this cover and colour page count as leaks. Don't spread that shit all over social media! Keep leaks a purely opt-in experience for everyone. The rest, well... probably going to have another massive essay since I love Hiyuki but I don't love why she's so refreshing, if that makes sense? And by God do I hate the way she gets treated by most of the fandom. But I'll work all that out over time.

Two, the Hiyuki-Chihiro design parallels are getting to me in a bad way. Like "tinfoil hat and red string on a tack board" levels of baseless speculation. But I think it's extremely deliberate on the author's part to keep using the same black-with-a-splash-of-red-up-top colour palette for them now that they even have matching undone bandages in this art for some reason. Why not have those two do their own thing like Hakuri got to? He actually kind of sticks out as if no one told him to dress all in black for this photo shoot!

I don't want to let my HakuHiro shipper bias get the better of me here though, so I'll just keep the crazy to myself until we learn more and/or I finish getting the Hiyuki thoughts in order.

Three, HEROINE HAKURI PROPAGANDA!

I'm being completely serious here! I've been banging pots and pans while screaming from the rooftops (internally) about how Hakuri is in the traditional heroine role since I wrote that HakuHiro essay around Chapter 38! He spares Hiyuki from having to balance things out by providing a soft touch because that's his job. And he's so good at it!

Seriously look at his pose! He's leaning in to Chihiro and doing a cute little gesture with his hands, looking so soft while Chihiro and Hiyuki are the baddest motherfuckers to ever exist! Hokazono-sensei was extremely serious when he said he intended for Hakuri to add cuteness. He's so cute! CUTE! But it's not like he's a total uwu marshmallow either- he's still got a really cool outfit on that highlights his boyish charm. He's just the "soft" one to Chihiro's cool and Hiyuki's fierce.

I know I'm a delusional lunatic for going nuts over this. And I hope it's clear that I'm not taking this as a sign that Hakuri's going to be an actual love interest. I'm not that far gone. I'm just always appreciating that Hakuri and Hiyuki essentially swapped roles in a traditional shounen trio in terms of what kind of balance they bring to the dynamic. I think it's an underrated aspect of Kagurabachi's appeal and I wish more shounen did this! Hokazono-sensei seems to love cute guys and cool women and I am 100% behind him if that's the case.

Rough entry but I'm not having a good time lately. Do your best to survive the rest of the year, kind void. We'll make it through for the sake of finding out how the Kagurabachi cast suffers from week to week if nothing else. Give yourself a little treat today, okay?

[thejackalxi]

Watching "Kahmunrah Rides Again" for the FIRST TIME like...

(Final thoughts and disclaimers at the end, so hold all questions and comments for the end, please. For all my rantings and ravings, I do take a breath and anaylize this fairly and even have my own epiphany.)

Seeing "Kahmunrah Coming Soon" poster made me laugh like the immature boy that I am.

The voice acting is not great. No one sounds even remotely like the original actors, including the way they speak, their natural flow and line delivery doesnt feel beliavble, except for the Ricky Gervais sound-alike who actually was pretty close.

Worse than the voice acting is the dialogue itself. The writing is atrocious!

The scenes with Larry and Nick felt genuine and were actually written pretty nice, immediately followed up with a terrible clunky scene with Larry and his ex-wife.

Inconsistancies ABOUND! There's no Rebel Wilson character and Dr. McPhee doesn't know about the museum coming to life, and with the inclusion of Laa, yes, the script confirms that this takes place after the events of the 3rd film.

The candy bar scene got a chuckle out of me before the badly out of sync Teddy Roosevelt jumpscare. The animation itself is not...awful, that one shot just was sync'd weird.

Seriously, the scenes of Nick sharing dialogue with his dad are the best written bits, it's like being able to come up for air while otherwise drowning in a sea of stupid. I actually got a small chuckle out the Tokyo bathroom joke.

I really hate that Kahmunrah doesn't have his speech impediment...and looks nothing like Hank in NATM2.

WH-what is this voice he's doing? It's super inconsistant. He has an accent, then he doesn't have an accent, his voice is all over the place. At this point I'm completely convinced there was little to no vocal direction and Disney execs didn't care, they just wanted the tracks recorded and mixed by the end of the week. "This is all so bad."

"Ohh, it IS bad, and DON'T interupt me!" The movie is aware, heard my critique, and agrees 🤣 This was the hardest laugh I got out of watching this thing so far...

I HATE HATE HATE this writing and the line delivery *screams into hands, and notices there's still 50 minutes left to watch* Gotta keep going...maybe it gets better??

Personal nit pick, but if my handsome beefcake daddy Kah with massive biceps has superstrength in this cartoon pushing over a whole ass stone column, what sick character designer gave him pool noodle arms??? I mean, are you for real??? LOOK AT THOSE THICK TREETRUNKS, MAN! What sick monster drew him in this cartoon- whatever, it's fine. It's fine. It's just a cartoon, it's fine.

No, it's not fine! Listen! Kahmunrah's entire design in this animated movie is offensive and it deeply bothers me, I recognize that it shouldn't bother me, but it does, and it's wrong and I don't like it...Ill tell ya how I really feel, I don't particularly care for this cartoon....*takes a breath* Moving on...

Ugh...and the poster of Merenkare looks NOTHING like Ben Kingsley either *sigh* Im kind of glad Ahkmenrah is M.I.a. from this film because I'm sure the character designer knew they couldn't replicate Rami Malek's angelic beauty and perfectly capture his face, so they just didnt bother.

stop...this dialogue is so unfunny and delivered so baddddd *cries*

"Technically he was never a pharaoh because [insert badly written quick exposition]" FALSE!! First of all, Teddy, you weren't there, so shut your goddam moustachio'd mouth. Second, if the writer of this thing had watched ANY of the movies or done any research into this franchise (they clearly didn't, who am I kidding), Kahmunrah WAS passed over and the throne given to his little brother Ahkmenrah who, after only a year on the throne, was violently murdered by Kahmunrah and reclaimed his rightful place on the throne for 17 years before he passed. Did anyone on this production think to ask the original writers or Shawn Levy for creative consultation? Of course not, because it's Night at the Museum now owned by Disney, they don't care to fact check...or even glabce at the original source material 😒 (Turns out yes, they did and they just forgot their own established canon. Don't you be tryin to take away my man's title of Pharaoh, how very dare!)

Yet, they included Joan of Arc who appeared in a NATM spin off junior novel following Nick. Kinda disappointed she's not voiced by Nicole Sullivan 🤣 jk, this actress is good for Joan, Im just a sucker for Clone High.

"Let's dance." Kahmunrah draws khopesh (hot)

"No dancing, just swords." Joan replies. I actually giggled, that was cute, until,

"Silly girl, that was a metaphor! A metaphor is not literal-"

Dammit movie!! Stop killing your own jokes by pointing out why the joke is meant to be funny! Stop! Let me just TRY to have a laugh! This dialogue is just bad. Please don't follow up your jokes with, "See, that's funny BECAUSE-" Stop! We get the joke, it's annoying! I get they were trying to match the improv comedy tone of NATM, but they failed so hard doing so!

*Kahmunrah talks more*

BRO, PICK A VOICE! PICK JUST A SINGLE TONE, PICK A LANE! PICK ONE ACCENT AND STICK WITH IT! One minute you sound like if Hank Azaria was on ALL of the drugs, a Mark Hamill's Joker-esque tone, then you sound insanely British, now you have an American accent, some sort of demented gremlin voice, and now sound like Jafar?? PICK A VOICE, MAN!! And of all these voices, still no teeth lisp. A crime.

"Don't eat me, or this will be a very short movie!" Please do, a fourth wall joke doesn't work for Kahmunrah, that really should be Teddy Roosevelt's shtick.

Also REALLY bothers me that they made Jedediah a freckled red head.

"Let gho of me you Phillestines!" And now Kahmunrah is Mark Hamill? Why...did he deliver that line like the Joker?

"I need backup, the ULTIMATE backup." Now he's what, Haas Delgado? What are these vocal choices his actor is doing?

Also, not the voice actors fault here, but why is Kahmunrah's khopesh sheethed in the back inside his tunic like that? Is his blade nestled in his ass crack? 😂 Why animators did you make such a terrible choice??? He could've had a sheath at his hip, but...why in the back like this???

There's still 40 minutes left, HOW???

And again, just when I feel like we've settled into an American scary guy voice for Kah, he slips into the Joker again. brah....brah...come on.

Seth's accent isn't very tight or consistant either, but I'm so exhausted by the insanity of Kahmunrah's vocal deliveries to really care. Speaking of which, he alives a Scorpion statue and his voice COMPLETELY changes tone and delivery style... again. I know I could just stop watching, but Ive made a comittment to see it through.

"Is it really bad?..." Teddy asks, Nick and I happen to say at the same time, "Yeah, it's still really bad." (Though we're clearly not talking about the same thing) 😂

Seriously, the khopesh is like RIGHT down the crack of his ass!!

"I smell Kahmunrah's musk-" YOU SMELL WHAT?! You know his SCENT?

"Fire burn." "I know the feeling." DAMMIT JOAN! 🤣 Ya got me on that one.

Aw, this scene building Nick up, this was nice. A breath of air before Im sure it goes back to shit quickly...

A fart joke, yup. Sadly I was right.

Yup, and then the movie reminds us that Robin Williams would've had a funny improv bit as Teddy, except it would be actually funny and naturally paced, and the other characters would be chuckling and trying not to bust up laughing, and not a phoned-in unfunny delivery like it is here in this cartoon where the characters are annoyed and critisize Teddy's reminiscing. I miss Robin so much. He was such a light on this world.

"We have an hour left before sunrise, come on!" Well, once again the franchise doesn't seem to understand how short an hour actually is. You're two hours deep into Ancient Egypt, you still have to stop Kahmunrah, leave the portal, get through the Art Museum, back on the Subway to get to the Natural History Museum...all in the span of an hour...Sure (Yes, they find a way to get home in time, that's the point, I know).

Jedediah shouts, "Don't forget to swallow!" I have died!

"Once I insert my tablet into the sarcophagus-" ...*slowly raises eyebrow* Once you insert WHAT now??? "My army will RISE!" ...sir... I hate your voice, I despise so much of the dialogue throughout this movie, but THAT line *slow clap* truly a masterpiece, *chef's kiss* Thank you to whomever wrote that line for me.

"We can't let that bully win." "Bully!....I mean, yes I agree." Oh now with less than 20 minutes I'm mildly enjoying myself.

And the "heiroglyph" of the 2nd chord to the combination in the MIDDLE of the tablet looks like :===

This cartoon has turned SUPER innuendo-y all of a sudden 🤣

HELL YEAH! A jackal army is WAY COOLER a birdmen army in my personal opinion. Damn, if only the voice actor had actually tried to sound like Hank (or if the vocal director didn't at his job) and Kahmunrah's design wasn't so awkward, I'd say that's insanely hot...Imagining Hank Azaria's Kahmunrah commanding a muscled canine-man army is one of the sexiest sounding things I could imagine...too bad it only exsists in this cartoon without Hank and not live action WITH Hank (obviously) 🥲

"Yes, my minions, ATTACK!" Now, imagine that line said in a commanding English accent and a forward lisp, while pointing with a big muscular arm....HOT!

UGHHH Why...why was he drAWN WITH STICK ARMS? *personal breakdown for the hundredth time watching this hour and 10 minute cartoon movie*

"Fine, then leave Son of Larry..."draws sword, "to me!" delivered in what I can only describe as freaky goblin voice. Why...? This...this would be so sexy, except everything is wrong.

That's it, I'm transcribing every bit of his dialogue and recording what he SHOULD sound like, and y'all will agree, they should've brought Hank back for this!

This weird goblin voice...this is the voice he's settled on now I guess, er...nope, nope, apparently we're going back to sounding like Jafar. Good god, just let this movie end.

They're using a poster of the natural history museum to get back while they're in a painting at another museum...I don't think that's how that would work, but I don't...I don't care, I want this to just be over.

Teddy, why are you not freezing with Texas-? Augh, who cares?

So Shawn Levy AND Chris Columbus produced this??? How much of a hand did they really have in this, because it was a nightmare.

*Does some Googling*...The AUTHOR of the original Night at the Museum children's book that the franchise is based on was one of the screenwriters? Did NOT see that one coming!

All in all, this movie got a few chuckles out of me, and the plot is pretty much a re-skinned version of Night at the Museum 2 Battle for the Smithsonian. It's not a bad concept, just a little weak as a final installment to the franchise.

My biggest issues come from the predominantly awkward dialogue, the joke murdering, granted it's hard to translate that vibe and live action comedic improv that leans more mature into a cartoon movie for a younger audience. The writers were bound to their screenplay and didnt have the luxury of improvizational comedy gold from the likes of the original NATM cast. With what they were constrained to, they tried their best, sometimes jokes worked, but most of the time it just didn't.

Some of the character designs were wonky, but I didn't mind the art style itself, Im just nit picky about the choices in Kahmunrah's design and his overall color palette.

But above all, the voice acting was ROUGH in places! Some performances were great, Joan was solid, Jed surprised me in the end when he finally started to sound like Owen Wilson, the Ricky Gervais sound-alike was decent enough, and Joshua Bassett as Nick was pretty decent as well, but Teddy Roosevelt, do I need to say it? No one will ever be Robin Williams, but Disney could've found a sound-alike.

And FINALLY, my guy, Mr. Joseph Kamal...what were you doin, man?

I mean, I tried to keep an open mind, and I am all for a voice actor putting their own spin on a character performance, but my man, this was not good, and I'm really disappointed.

*RESEARCHES Kamal's IMDB page* SOooo, in...SOME fairness, this was only his 2nd ever voice acting/voice over role. He's only ever done minor acting roles in serious television dramas or soap operas.

That being said, as a freelance voice over artist and voice actor, voice acting is NOT easy, especially when you have BIG BIG BIGGG shoes to fill from long time crazy-talented voice actor Hank Azaria. I just think Kamal was simply miscast into a role that was too much for him to take on. And I also blame whoever was in charge of vocal direction. Sometimes for voice actors, without a strong director, in a big vocal performance, the choices made in a delivery are too vast, like throwing darts into the universe while blind folded. You just kinda throw a variety of deliveries out there and ultimately it's up to the director and the editor which takes to go with.

Maybe that was it! Kamal did multiple deliveries of lines with varying styles because again, lack of strong direction, and the editor ultimately just threw these unfitting takes together making Kahmunrah sound batshit insane in not a good or well executed way...I wanna give this guy the benefit of the doubt.

3/10 There were ideas here, but this movie was painful to get through.

[importantdestinydefender]

My Death Mark OC is done!

This is Hagihara Rina. She is a very timid and shy person.

A small profile:

Age: between 35-40

Height: 5'4 (162 cm)

Weight: 119lbs (54 kilos)

Occupation: part-time florist at "Myazakis Flowerfield"

She is the middle child of three children. Her older sister is called Nao, and her younger brother is called Yasu. Her parents are called Hagihara Toshiro (her dad) and Okabe Kaori (her mom). They have been divorced since Rina was an early teenager. Her father left with Yasu, and Rina and Nao were homeschooled since then.

She loves to nit, sew, and everything like that. Takes care of some specific flowers in the shop (for example: she grows her own daffodils). She has worked at the flower shop since she was a teenager. The owners of the shop are the elderly couple Daichi and Jun Myazaki, and they act as her adoptive grandparents. Her favourite colour is anything between pink and red and her favourite flower is the daffodil.

Uuuuuuh I think that is all I wanna say for now?? Since I actually plan to write a fanfiction for her (not in the scale as Firelight AU is turning out to be). So there is not much backstory I can give here except for the divorce part. Finally, I have a character that doesn't have a green/grey/brown/blue-palette! I am not the biggest fan of pink or red personally, but I wanted to draw a character with pink being their primary colour for sooo looong! And I actually finally have one! WOOOOO!

Also I made up her weight based off of my own height and weight ratio + taking in her current mental state (which is just a shit show) and converted it from cm to pound. I wanted to compare it to Yashikis weigth and hoo boy! His weight doesn't really match his height (he weighs around 137lbs (62 kg)) which is as much as I do in real life! And I am tiny comapred to him! (He is 5'11 (180 cm) while I'm 5'3 (162 cm)) So that took a few years of my life. But that just shows how good his character design is as you can really see his lankiness. (And I'm getting off track, this is about my OC not Yashiki. Move over, old man!)

ANYWAY! Tell me what you think in the comments! (Close ups under keep reading)

[bigboyplaya]

sooo conflicted on the reboot. i know it came out awhile ago (i didnt think it was two years old man T_T) but i played it all day and i wanna do a short analysis. Some critics are super nit-picky and straight up unfair, but some are valid. My only gripe, aside from occasional bugs, is the writing tbh.

the story is like if Emil Pagliarulo was the lead writer. and i honestly wouldn't be surprised if he was. the writing quality is on par with the story in Bethesda games after Morrowind, the last game before pagliarulo got his dirty hands on their franchises lmao. Reboot is messy, underdeveloped and worst of all, the twist has no build up, no foreshadowing, nothing. If you're gonna do a twist ending, WRITE THE END FIRST AND WORK BACKWARDS. Nahualli makes no sense bruh.

The companions have no real personality. They're one note and shallow. Not any flaws, not any development. They are stagnant. And we're supposed to care for them. Why should we? Because Kevin is an orphan? Neenah's mum died of cancer? And Eli, idek man. He's just there for the ride. Show us these things instead of telling. I want to like these people, and I don't wanna hate them just cause they're "woke," or whatever. Which, the game is barely even "woke." They got a Pride flag hanging around, and there's little rainbow stuff across the map in some places, but that doesn't mean it's woke or pandering. The people complaining about that probably flip out when they see rainbow anything, whether it's related to LGBT or not. And like some people who actually paid attention to the campaign have said, it's definitely not a woke game. It doesn't really paint the Idols in a good light, or any sort of light tbh, and they're the most stereotypical "wokest" faction in the game.

Anyway, you're sticking me with the only three homies for hours during the game, I'd wanna like them, you know? But there's not an interesting thing about them. They're no better than the nameless NPCs that walk the world.

Characters are also dropped and never brought up again. Like Gwen. Her LARP appearance was whatever, but I wish they her brought up one more time at least, especially since you deal with Marshal near the end (or middle i cant remember) and she isn't there nor does she make an appearance again outside of the beginning Marshal arc and Eli's arc.

The other gangs are soooo generic, too. No substance. Just kill them, move on. Doesn't even feel like you're doing much to them when you do hood takeovers and strongholds, or whatever the equivalent is, because more generic NPC gangsters spawn in and around. No named ones or ones that have any importance except for Neenah and Sergio in the Panteros, none in the Idols apart from Kevin, and Marshal has Gwen and Atticus, and that old lady, with all of three of them not even being present for half the game.

I could do a whole essay about it, but I'll leave this here. I'm working on a YouTube analysis where I'm ranting in grave detail and picking apart things that "critics" should actually focus on, rather than the fact Kevin is a bisexual slut and how it "is unnecessary." I don't remember what youtuber flipped out over that, but he ranted on how it didn't need to be in the game. bro got so mad lmao.

I'm also not against difficulty in games, and maybe that's because I'm a huge fan of older "unfair" titles that came out in the 90s and 2000s. I played through Red Faction 1 as far as I could before giving up and turning on God Mode and Infinite ammo in the console because the difficulty spiked SO HIGH in the last section and I just wanted the game done with, did "Wrong Side of the Tracks," in San: Andreas in multiple playthroughs with no issues, currently struggling through Fallout 1 & 2, and I completed Drug Trafficking Level 8 after a few tries for the Rollerz in Saints Row 1. It's just I have an issue with bullet sponge enemies. Just because I go down in a couple hits while the enemies can soak up an entire magazine and still have three quarters of their health bar doesn't mean the game is the "good" kind of hard. It's just unbalanced. And the Reboot has the shittiest shooter mechanics in a game I've ever seen, and like I said, I play a LOT of older titles, and the enemies become bigger sponges than SpongeBob on any difficulty above "Entrepreneur/normal."

But with all that said, most of the gameplay is pretty fun and I like the clothes and SFX. The accessibility is nice. I'm too anxious to play with timers, or I get mad asf, so it's great you can turn them off without breaking stuff. I mean, Pony Express and the other time trials get super easy, but you can fine tune the other combat and difficulty options to make it a little tougher.

[papirouge]

I can’t stop crying, I’ve lost more friends in Gaza… yet so many Christian evangelicals have yet to even mention that Christians in Gaza exist. Or if they do, it’s criticism and blaming Gaza for the genocide that’s happening. It’s as if they fully believe it’s a Jew/Muslim conflict when it’s not. It’s an idf-Hamas conflict.

I lost contact with one of my friends and haven’t been able to get any info. The terror keeps coming. And there was no where to go, it hurts. And I’m so angry at that Christians in the west just ignoring it all

.......... I'm really sorry anon...

I've never felt that powerless in my life, and my heart aches for all those people being murdered before our eyes, and the Christian community either condoning such heinous act or turning the head around... They will have to take accountability for their cowardice....

The body of Christ is ONE. If someone cuts your leg or hand, you will definitely feel it and your whole body is going to react to it. But Western Christians? They look away like the cowards that they are. Mind you, they are the same ones that are so suuuuure to resist the antichrist when he will come. Meanwhile, they are unable to voice the slightest support to our Christian brothers in Palestine out of fear... What kind of clownery is that? At least, I don't mind people refusing to cover any sort of world news bc they are consistent in their lane, but I'm thinking about all those Christians who have aaaaaalways so many things to say abt the latest stupid stunt in the news, the wokes, feminists, liberals... Suddenly they are VERY quiet. That's a choice. They are disgusting.

Even the anti Muslim/let's protect Christianism from Islam uwu Christian YouTuber squad are pulling out video exPoSinG Hamas while not saying a single word abt the Christian casualties (David Wood, Apostate Prophet, etc.) They are full of it, and I will never ever again take them seriously in their defense of Christianity in middle east when those ghouls don't even have a word to say about our Palestinian Christian brothers dying under Israeli strikes and PLEADING for our attention and prayers... They only care about Christians dying because of ISLAM, when they die for any other reason, they will defiect. Like, yeah, Hamas sucks - we been knew. What's the point of making 1 video a day about them? In what way does it remotely dismiss the atrocity of whatever's happening in Gaza???

It's so sick to see pro Israel constantly move the goalpost to paint themselves as the only victims, and worse, downplaying what's happening in Gaza.

They will deflect on antisemitism in pro Palestine protests (while acting like the very same didn't happen in pro Israel protests with the most rabid islamophobic genocidal crap), semantics about what Zionism is and whether it's antisemitism (meanwhile palestinians are literally DYING), that they don't care about Gaza as long as the hostage aren't fred (when if they actually really cared abt the hostages they wouldn't encourage Israel to bomb Gaza bc the actual hostages risk dying out there along the Hamas...🤦🏾‍♀️), or shouting "free Gaza from Hamas !!" as if any of that justified bombing civilians... oh and let's not forget the feminist/liberal edge of Israel defense with the "Palestianian are sexist/homophobic so there's no point defending them" stupid narrative....

I think the reason pro Israel are so bad in their rhetoric is that for years they've been used to leverage their Jewishness to get empathy and immunity against accountability.

But it's over now. We have social medias and we can witnessing in real time the horror of Tsahal actions. How they aren't any morally better than Hamas. We've seen the Israeli mocking Palestianians nit having water or food...

"you were quiet when the Hamas assassinated Israelis" we were quiet because this operation went so fast and that Israel quickly retaliated. There was no way to stop the Hamas bc NO ONE knew it was coming, so what did they expect us to do?? Just bc we don't say anything doesn't mean we approve. Do you see people condemn suicide/terrorist attacks whenever they happen?? IMO there wouldn't be such an outrage is Israel left it at that and didn't go overboard with launching a whole war against Gaza. The reason the world is siding with Palestinian is because we are witnessing the ongoing massacre of population with the actual (political and/or economical) backup of our respective countries for DAYS now. Unlike the Hamas attack, there are ways to stop it. The Hamas didn't cut the water & food supply of Israelis. Palestinians aren't clowning on social medias the Jewish civilians who were killed by the Hamas. That's why the world is shocked and is siding with Palestine and is slowly but surely getting fed up with the cognitive dissonance of Israelis crying oppression while acting like soulless ghouls. Crying antisemitism isn't fooling anyone anymore.

[staiiiircasewiiiit]

do something about the managers room in CVS other than pictures; and other ways in the store; only being a customer and not touching the cash register as a employee

Officer and Officer Malloy are first after 1990s people on earth I wonder whats happening that I went to Bergenfield High school and only admitted that I'm from Bergenfield is that famous and bickering about everyone knows about Bergenfield; New Jersey on the internet that I didn't sway or let any story take over in a computer to go viral.

Doyouseeevidence?

Iws laying pick th furthet one n th outter layer of alot and the cash register snatched he firthest one; tolld me o get the sme exact story life is actually story that keeps going and going since I was a baby; is kuyas son looking at him Dr. Lowener med Carmen the real armen grandtheftauto be talking about behind playing ivideos game s the same CArmen in the nit Andres Buillies mom; Michelle Garavito mother in law; boys scream at the TV that they cannot beat me in a video game. its not California; Laguna Beach and she said no we cannot say Laguna beach without California my life cnsist of being a judge by looking at family pictures is a real judge taring techique dont have clues at all that im blind in my toddler growing She said @CRESKILLCVS dont ever pick up your pictures like DONT and UPLOAD it in for her! #thisisreallycool I cant stand gaypride roygbiv is Indian to me nobodybelives me crepy old men hide in vans lurking in my oms sext word to me she made a church for her dads in China staircase that I found cookies she baked is a pancake; Uncle Fern took Sheena with him; too Laguna Beach is not Claifornia at all; and its my dads fight that my dad not picking up his horse was walking home from Canada that it is my mind all blak with no color seeing a moon that needs a cow flying across standing therewashing he dishes one night. He was really moving to Canada is me still; my mom fake sister wants Uncle Fern; hes not coming home; and I cant stnad it; without getting angry; showed himself to me noones paying attention to me that I found Uncle Fern; nothing wrong happened to Auntie Esters mind that the both lookalike from all these invisible termites; its auntie graces; its not allright tocall tita asing auntie Grace and thats how tita asing cambal lives; thats downyndrome squinting at her; I have a pile of shitload ton of bills to put in; my mom thinks shes successful; its me im allowing to her keep misbhaving is so annoying whenshe doesnt talk; and stays shut with notrouble that I haveit handled bothering the LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME! vegan have it handled and I have anger problems; kiss my ass illegal my mind is clean; that a weed pen wmy taste buds are bursting with sour skittles is the real sour tingling to cause downsyndrome abnormal demented ; and real. you really cant send me anywhere if you dont have uv light inviible my mugshot; radars that I need to take care of myself is all for me.

I wasnt screaming at myself it was getting louder and louder that it was me creaming at myself; I saw slampig n the reflection of my rearview window; and that was embaressing ripping water and I dont ! in some random situation that im being pulled and forced; its black inside my head really deep; and purple electriciy sparking that I have to have to get all handled already;they siwtched my food I was still hungry for my more vegan pushing it away from me; in the airplane with my answer is never wrong about beau always going to be my way if im mean or not or life gets better with him; even if I take long

my dad took away my food on his birthday lagnat in the real DNA flesh skin and bones; I never played oppisite day! someone broke in to the real pin needle stabbing instead of a pulse awareness awakening that I'm a human; It was indian people and a Bisaya all of them are bisayas sitting there and standing there that I felt horrible to be nice was not the way. nope I wasn't going to do it at all for real for sure about dying my hair pink; that I was dying to color my hair blonde all these years is some Mexican jumping out like a smooth dancing heavy perfect calculation for every girl fairly around the world. Ariyanna is the only person who can give me a off the radar overdose heated fever. I made my dad make a emergency uturn; screaming at him in the bakseat the entire drive and it was I needed to take control of the car when I wasn't in the car with him. hes he monument at Ceasars palace and something else; as long as we not happy perfect together everyday all the time otherwise hell kill himslf Chloes trying to hard; and passing. pequanoic is the shortcut too Laguna Beach; LITERALLY. when noones home here being a normal behavior and I never walked up to a door that I was being told to knock on a day in my life; even for a few moments he sneaks in and lets everyone in really quickly; or no? Anna said I better not be getting money and the girlwho got screamed at; to be aneroxic like me is going to give it to me without her knowing. he thinks its scary dont touch his phone; they all accept to be tagalog is all his fault im going to make a run for it to fix the entire situation that its all my awarenesss that im a human doesn't cae if hes screaming like a real kapangpangan at all; My dad is scared to not speak tagalog to me that I have nothing in my mind that I keep loosing my mind sentence after sentence; that I really am more than kapangpangang an infact only nothing but english. Uncle Fern called auntie Sandy way worst screaming my pituary gland went floating in the sky that I have no communication barriers and im screaming at my dad had enoughof him screaming at me when I see antenna worldwide infront of 159 tryon in the sky. im not intimdaded!when you put massive amount of people to look at in a picture people think theres alot of people; yuh they are my real friends going insdie chloe; the way feel about jesica evertt is the real jessica Everett disrespecting the empire; and life never gets better if we end up next to each other again. I'm moving to the Phillipines instead im going to get thrown in employee healthinsurance kingdom master key!

whatsourpromise

I got to give my brother; my flip phone and take his smartphone switch the simcard. I want to accept my passport icture and the license I left hanging on the heater my mom taking garbage bags from the LTC without noone knowing; is everyones present that brought heart cardboard box to my flloor exloded with all my details and information thought process of ingrediants to put together to make food on my plate. people say theres alot of people you cant fit alot of people at Eloys house; that I dont think theres alot of people is perfect measurement. Strazza bought everything it really isnt coming from n MASH by my ate starlyn to give tooo everyone; needmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionneedmycommunionNEED!! needmycommunion hands on [done*]suppose to scan your stuff at self checkout quickcheckand repay for iall over again and over againpapperworks about something that little boy and cam keep saying m there mother and he needs to go away how he holds everyones cases; go home could be in the basement of 159 Tryon Ave

something really bad happens how I realize alot the atmosphere and sky is gray like after sept 11, 2001 alot; standingthere outside on the deck infront of the house; my sister cant stop drowning in being mean and hiding in a little tight spot ignoring me being mean how she got home in 4 minutes after septemeber 11, 2001 collapsing that shes a criminal no way in hell she blinked her eye and thought it was all my fault that im so perfect from the furthest NYC that washington heights is my loation point to always nd up at NYC is the real NYC to me furtherest away from the REAL NYC.my mom in the ditches somewhere causes malpractice and I'my sister is way beyond clean a medical assistant from malpractice I'm good; if you take whats behind it and all the abuse still okay. they snatched DAKOTA; my dad said now look you are all lost in Mandiel anger trying be so nice and they have to go deal with uncle Fern now that is never ending MEAN! which is such a simple explanation he still has no clue who his brother is; his heartattack started again and said too stand at dunkin donuts cash register for the rest of my life that I took all his alot of never ending coins in his car and threw it in the tip jar that he had active diabetes I was smelling whenKenny Rankin knock on my door slamming and smacking me in the face underneath his armpits …go watch Mandiel stick her arm inbetween a levator and the doors holding open until you put your arm down; finds the discomfort and im a good person and im never going to know without being bothered and a annoying disturbing atmosphere; ask he lady shes Korean nstead Haille Steinfield is deading Mayann; 461 90s on 9 top 00 is agobe earth stead of me chopping up CDs my sister offered me chocholate nd I said no my dad never had chocholate with his real mouth and teeth a day in his life; keep your red lighter im going to c myself to sleep all over again its about a white lighter why he has a bad feeling; 76584376539286537679384t8438979387356895763275632756332763320583297328263726390857-1348573209676857014823901574587637928507323063767059890357785642565454039825638902573265375363298563895745902835892576858968932578934783945783925709328576786482747867846487667556456456345678587798789776763 D= know 0.5 take your chances hit or home run

[bitchyartisandinosaur]

I love doing these pieces, but they're hard on me mentally. I must make sure to not be making a parody of my own work..

<《BL0G》>

Tomorrow is my Valentines day. I'm going out with my date. We are going to an art gallery, to a vegan eatery and the cinema. Probably will drink a good amount too. Man, I really am falling for this guy, and he is either nit feeling the same or playing it real cool. Maybe both. I dunno. But when we meet it really is just the best. The happiest I've been in so long. And when I leave I am only ever left wanting more, and more, and more. This will be date number 4. I asked to be exclusive, but I left the ball in their court as to how much further. They absolutely know I'm ready to go further. So it's up to them to move forward now. I hope they want to. I want to spend more time with them. I want to be able to sleep at their house after a night out and not rush, not get a train home at midnight.

Anywayyys...

I've been really struggling to sleep lately. I wake up on the hour, every hour. It's driving me up the wall. My anxiety dips to the lowest it's been in years, and rise to the highest it's been in years. I just want my happiness back, man. I feel I deserve that. I've worked my ass off to get nowhere with the promise of being right where I wanna be. When does my treadmill get removed so I can begin walking forward again? When do I get to love someone again. When do I get to be loved again? When do I get to have friends again? When can I enjoy my life, and feel like I HAVENT made the wrong choices in life again?

...

For some reason I keep having intimate flashbacks to the USA. The many, many times, I walked alone. Just hours of walking, just me, my music, a ciggie and a lil jiggie. Dancing my way home at 4 in the morning watching the sun rise. I think I was so close to death that I was actually happier? ... now there's a thought. Oof.

[romilly-jay]

The Word is Murder

***again, writing to remind future-me how much I loved this series and what I enjoyed about them ***

I've been taking time out from the real world for the past two years to study for my MFA in Creative Writing. Okay, that's philosophically flawed in various ways - what makes me think there's a world that's real and other worlds that aren't real or that it's possible to move between them or that I am able to identify correctly which is which?

Starting again - I'm a midlife MFA student (just finishing) and it's been lovely and disorienting in roughly equal measure to get to spend two years among people who take seriously the idea that writing books and publishing them is A Thing It's Possible To Do.

Not equally possible for everyone. Do I need to say that? I mean, yes.

And even once a book is published, there's so much we don't really know about why one suddenly breaks through and succeeds, but we do know that without oxygen, without marketing exposure, it won't.

A roundabout way of saying that I hadn't heard of the Detective Hawthorne series until Anthony Horowitz was talking about them on a Radio Four breakfast show - aka not an opportunity afforded to every author - and I don't know how many other listeners also thought "Oh my, this sounds like exactly something I'd love " and rushed out to get hold of a copy. *I* did (library copy but yay libraries and I'm *strongly* considering actually buying the latest one...)

And this is why I knew I was likely to like it (quite apart from the fact that I'm a big fan of Foyles War so felt advance-comfortable about the likely tone)... it's a book that, as a central device, breaks the fourth wall. A book where the author presents as a character. YES.

Here's a not-spoilery bit that catches the early establishment of the dynamic between fictional detective and character-version of AH:

Hawthorne smiled at me for the first time...

'Early days, mate. It's only a first chapter. You can tear it up and start again. The thing is, we've got to find a way of working together, a...' he searched for the right phrase.

'A modus operandi,' I suggested.

He pointed a finger. 'You don't want to use posh words like that. You'll just get people's backs up. No. You've just got to write what happens.'

[This is in ch3, when they're arguing over the exact text I've just read as the start of ch1, with DH giving AH factual corrections and pushback - I'm amused by the nit-picking. I'm amused that clearly AH wants us to be aware that "his" version of ch1 is the one that got used. And there's also plenty of fun speculation and misdirection.]

Pacey with a light touch, and enough real London places to hook me into a version of the feeling when I've walked across a film crew out on location and I wasn't expecting to see them there. <3 <3.

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 21 April

We are being spoilt for choice at the moment. As I've said a few times, I really do think the mid-1950s is a bit of a transitional period. Rock and roll hasn't arrived in Britian, but a lot of the songs we're now hearing sound distinctly different to the stuff you'd hear in the 1940s and earlier 1950s. Less proper and formal, in a way - long may that continue!

Cherry Pink (and Apple Blossom White) - Eddie Calvert (peaked at Number 1)

I loved this song first time round, and I haven't mysteriously started disliking it. I've said before, for me, if I already really like a song, I'll be strongly inclined to enjoy all covers of it, even if they're not great quality. And this is by no means that. This is a very serviceable version of a song I already liked.

To be honest, I've not much more to say that I haven't already said on the last post about Pérez Prado's version of the song. I kind of expected this version to sound a bit watered down or inauthentic, it being a British cover of a Latin song by somebody called Ronnie Hilton - a decidedly non-Hispanic-sounding name, fitting for this Preston native. But actually, it's mostly just quite a faithful cover, down to the best bit of the original, the woozy slow-down trumpet work.

If I was nit-picking I might say that it's got a bit less of a clear clave rhythm in the percussion, and maybe a little less energy in the non-trumpet instruments? It's also missing the "hyurgh" shout, which was arguably the best moment in the original. However, the trumpet makes up for all that in its sheer riotous enthusiasm, and to be honest, I think if I wasn't paying attention I might not notice all the other differences I noticed. This is just a very similar cover to the original.

I do wonder what the point of covers like that is, sometimes. A cover that dramatically changes a song's vibe or genre, that I get (it's like an AU fanfic, it's the same pleasure). But a perfectly faithful cover confuses me... the original already exists?! I guess it might have come down to some vagaries of 1950s record production and distribution logistics, and just what version of a record people could actuallly get hold of and heard on the radio, but still. Pointless, at least on the face of it.

Not that I'm complaining about more of this song. Did I mention, I love this song?

Ready, Willing and Able - Doris Day (7)

A Doris Day song I've not heard of! I'm not surprised, exactly - she did a lot, and I'm not a superfan or anything - but I am excited, because most Doris Day songs I've come across so far have been real highlights. Secret Love, in particular, I could listen to all day. Doris' voice and general persona is gorgeous, this project has really sold me on her.

We start very strong, with a fast, jazzy opening, Doris singing about how I'm ready / Willing / And able / And honey, now, it's up to you. She's up for some loving, but wants her suitor to commit and make a move. It's a confident, ballsy opening, underscored perfectly by some jazzy trumpet blasts, full big band vibes.

Doris' voice is indeed the star attraction here. She's up against some big brassy sounds and her performance is never once overpowered by it.

I'm also impressed by the modernity of Doris' strightforward proposition here, as she outright states that I'm ready, able and willing / To join you in a little fun / But I won't take second billing / I've got to be your number one. She's taking the lead, stating what she wants, and making the moves to get it, but she's also clear on her boundaries. You get the feeling that Doris is absolutely setting the pace in this relationship, and honestly, it's sexy as anything.

Even sexier, though, is the section just before the end, with the quieter, sultrier lines, all I'm ready / Oh yes, you know I'm ready, baby. It's not explicitly about sex, but it easily could be, you know? Keeps the song classy, for sure.

And then we've got the final section, as Doris blasts out lines about how Now I've stated my condition / I've got lots of ammunition. There's something rock and roll both about the attitude here, and the chord that plays under it. I know I say this periodically about lots of songs I like in this era, but you really can hear the new sounds of rock and roll percolating into places you wouldn't expect them, and this is one example, I think.

Awww, I just love this song. I had a good feeling about it, and my good feeling paid off. Go listen. Not many songs from this project end up in my liked songs list, but this one definitely will.

It's from a musical film, Young At Heart, an update of an earlier film called Four Daughters, where Doris plays opposite Frank Sinatra as the love interest of a songwriter who moves to a small town and gets into romantic hijinks as three sisters all fall for him. The plot summary sounds a little complicated, but it does sound cute - and either way, I think I'd watch it, just for the musical talent!

Stranger in Paradise - Tony Bennett (1)

Something must have been in the water this week in 1955, because here we've got another song that I know, and that definitely stands out. The tune, in particular, is beautiful and iconic. I remember hearing this song for the first time and thinking I already knew it, which is the mark of a catchy hook.

It's also possibly a product of the song's somewhat complicated genesis? It's a song from a 1953 musical called Kismet, itself adapted from a 1911 play, which is an "Arabian Nights" styled fake folk tale romance, set to music by the Russian-Georgian Romantic composer Alexander Borodin, including this song, which is based on one of the Polovtsian Dances from the 1890 opera Prince Igor. This opera, itself based on a much older Russian epic poem, is about the 12th century prince of Novgorod, Igor Svyatoslavich, fighting against Cumans, a Turkic people in the south of modern-day Russia, who were also called Polovtsians. So there are loads of layers of exoticism and historical romanticisation going on even before you look at the lyrics and vibe of the song. And then the musical's duet has been turned into a solo song for a male singer, so that changes it and adds layers again.

We begin with "ooooos" from the backing singers, outlining the main theme to a lush backing of strings and woodwinds, before Tony comes in, an ambitious, soaring leap in his very first line urging his lover to Take my hand / I'm a stranger in paradise.

It's all about the transcendant feeling when you're in love, and I have to say, the lyrics are beautiful. In quick succession, we get lines about how I saw your face and I ascended / Out of the commonplace / Into the rare and about how Somewhere in space I hang suspended. It's a level of earnestness and purple prose that would normally jar, but here it feels thematically appropriate. Love takes you away from the everyday, so why shouldn't your language also be elevated away from the commonplace?

We also get the sense of a certain danger or desperation. From the idea of Tony being left starry-eyed and being lost in a wonderland, to lines that are more explicitly about how There's a danger in paradise / For mortals who stand beside an angel. Tony's lover is something else, and that has a certain fear about it, too. He's worried about getting hurt, still feeling himself a stranger, not wholly "at home" in this realm of perfection that he's somehow ascended into.

And yet the song ends hopefully, with a hope that Tony's love might open their arms to the titular stranger And tell that we need be / A stranger no more. It's a beautiful, hopeful ending, and I like it a lot! Tony really sells it, too - there's a grand sweep to his voice, but also a certain vulnerability in the lines that need it. And all that while maintaining good clear diction - important with such wordy, twisty lines.

Actually, I'm realising thinking about it that it's quite a cerebral, twisty song more generally. The lyrics are hard to follow the first time you hear them, even just in terms of syntax, and there's a certain ambiguity to it, even in what it means to be a "stranger in paradise" and how that changes over the course of the song.

I like that about the song, to be clear, and I also think you can enjoy it without making it that deep. It's pretty and catchy and Tony Bennett can sing nicely. In some ways that's all you need to know.

I could name almost any of these three as my favourite. They're all great. But only one made my liked songs playlist, and in my books, that's a surefire way to earn the final title. So, without further ado...

Favourite song of the bunch: Ready, Willing and Able

[vvendyreads]

Fake It 'til You Make It by Laura Carter

Abbey thought that she was about to have the best night of her life. Her boyfriend, who was also her childhood friend, asks her to dinner and she thinks wedding bells are coming. She is shocked to find that instead of a proposal he actually wants to break up and he's been cheating on her with someone else. To make matters worse, she then quickly loses her job. Abbey decides to turn things around by spending all of her savings on 6 months rent in her dream luxury apartment building. While there, she runs into her ex, who is now dating someone who lives in her building. She's saved from embarrassment by her suave star baseball playing neighbor Mike, who has been bugging her since she moved in. When Abbey and her ex are both invited to her parent's vow renewal in Canada, Abbey decides that she needs a fake boyfriend to bring. Mike volunteers. What Abbey doesn't know is that "Mike Thomas" is actually Ted Thomas, Mike's brother who has been hiding in his brother's penthouse ever since his fiancée cheated on him with his business partner. After Abbey mistakes Ted for his brother, he decides to pretend to be him, fooling Abbey and everyone else.

Thank you to Boldwood Books and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I had high hopes for this one. I love a good fake dating story. Unfortunately, this one was just not for me. Pros:

Fake dating is always a must read for me. Literally. Tell me a story has fake dating and I'm all in. I love the romantic potential of dating someone you normalize wouldn't in a low stakes way. Even better if the characters initially can't stand each other. How else will they learn to get along? I think this trope is so fun, even if it doesn't really happen nearly as much in real life as media would make us think.

Dual POV: I love getting both characters' perspectives in a story. The great thing about books as opposed to real life, is that you can know exactly what another person is thinking. Especially with how this story goes, I think Ted would have been pretty irredeemable if we hadn't gotten his POV.

Interesting settings: I enjoyed the diversion to Canada. This book was set in New York, which I think is having its moment right now. The author didn't really explore that setting much, so I appreciated that she moved the characters to a different location, so we could at least explore that.

Cons: (Unfortunately, there are more of these than pros for me)

Mistaken identity- I really hate mistaken identity. I honestly wish I had known going in that it would be a part of this book, as I may not have read it. I included it in my summary but the official one for the book only describes Mike/Ted as a "hot neighbor". I would have forgiven the mistaken identity if it had been corrected quickly, but he doesn't come clean (read: get found out) until nearly the end of the book, which made me anxious and frustrated for most of the story. I didn't buy his reasons for keeping up the ruse to Abbey.

Too many Britishisms: I understand that Boldwood Books is U.K. based, so this may be nit-picky and not an actual issue. I would maybe buy that Canadians might have similar ways of speaking to British people and many characters were Canadian, so perhaps those instances were normal. That's all fine, but when the same phrases were coming out of an American character's mouth, it took me out of the story. The American born Ted said things such as "feck" and "join the queue" and "a kilo of strawberry jelly" to name a few. I feel like an editor could have caught this (or hope that one will now!)

Ted was very superficial. He spent a lot of time rationalizing that he wasn't this shallow guy but the brother he was pretending to be is, so he must also act this way to be him. He spends so much time focusing on the looks of the Abbey and his ex and using this as a way to judge them. Ted also spends much of his initial interactions with Abbey deciding that she is superficial for doing really normal things, which felt very hypocritical. He's supposed to be the nerdy, shy guy but he just came off as a jerk. He also repeatedly mocks Abbey's period underwear that she accidentally dropped in front of him, which made me kind of hate him.

The book felt somewhat incomplete. There were story lines that started but didn't go anywhere. For example, Abbey desperately needed a job. A legitimate company wants to offer one and tells Ted to have her contact them, but he never tells her about it. The book also ends pretty quickly. I would have appreciated an epilogue to know how it ends.

Neutral?

I think that my ultimate issue is that this felt like a mid 90s-early 2000s chick lit/romance. The characters fell into a lot of the boxes of this time: the guy is a jerk, the girl is in distress, there's lots of talk of shopping and a glamorous life. This kind of book was incredibly popular and I'm sure that plenty of people will appreciate it. I think there was a lot of potential in this book, but it just wasn't my cup of tea.

3 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️

[nytehavyn-circle]

Tolaas gently took her hand, and squeezed it. "I akin't gonna hurt ya, darlin', I promise." He hoped the tone of his voice assured her that he was telling the truth.

He took her hand, brought it up to his fangs, and had her run a finger over the tooth, even having her gently touch the point. When she was finished, he tilted his head at her and then smiled. "Told ya. Real." He winked.

“Alright, so...” he began, exhaling slowly, “Livin’ Vampire. Well, ta start, I ain’t dead.  Ain’t undead, neither,” he chuckled.  “Quite alive, I assure ya, but I akin't human.  I gotta feed, but not near as often as other sorts a’vamps - maybe once every two weeks - an’ I ain’t gotta kill when I feed.  Ain’t gotta, and ain’t got the desire. Now that's not saying other Livin' Vamps don't. We have free will, we can choose how we feed, we ain't compelled ta kill when feedin', 'less'n ya wanna focus on that compulsion."  He ran a hand over his hair, then looked at Anne again.  “Usually, I feed from donors.  Like ya've heard me mention tanight. But all my donors'er willin’ people.  An’ I usually like ta feed durin’ sex.”  He gave her a sly, almost flirtatious grin.  “Though I don’t hafta feed durin’ sex; just more fun that way. Heightens the whole experience. Also, I do need ta eat. Regular food an’ drink. Alcohol's just one a'my vices," he laughed. "So, like I said - livin’ vampire..”

He refilled his glass with the Jack and took a drink, looking at her once again. He checkd her aura, searched her eyes, sent out his "feelers" to check to hope he wasn't scaring her away or making hr think he was crazy.

Tolaas continued. "We can’t turn inta bats, can't turn inta mist; nothin' a'that nature.  We got heightened senses, an' heightened abilities - stronger’n humans.  Now, I can die - like, actually die die.  I can get a mortal wound an’ bleed ta death if’n I ain’t got enough blood ‘round ta help the healin’ process.  If'n ya cut off my head, I’m a corpse.  Stab me in the heart - well, ya ain’t gotta use a stake fer that one.  If'n ya stab me in the heart an’ I’m dead, period.” He shrugged and raised his hands.

"And, like all Livin' Vampires, I’m a empath.  Meanin’ I can pick up on exactly what someone else is feelin’.  Now, I can’t read minds… but alotta the time, what someone is thinkin’ usually correlates ta what they’re feelin’.  So, in an odd way, that sometimes forms images in my head.  So, telling ya what yer thinkin’?  Just a’offshoot a’what yer feelin’.  Because, I can see an' read auras.  Which usually tells me a nit more 'bout the person. What their thoughts'er doin' ta their auras - seein' the spikes and hills, swirlin' colors, ebbs an' flows - it can show me whether they're human er not, and this ability, 'long with my empathy, can help me pinpoint on whether her not someone is lhyin' ta me, whether er not someone's not such a nice person, ya know, stuff like that.” Another drink from his glass.

He didn't notice that while he was telling Anne this, he had moved a bit closer to her. What he was telling her was, in an odd sense, sort of intimate. Which made his body react, because he was definitely attracted to her. Their legs were touching.

Tolaas continued. “That’s purdy much it, save fer the sun.” He gestured vaguely upward.  “Now, I don’t become vampire flambe,” he laughed.  “But the longer I’m out in direct sunlight, the sicker I can get - get sorta heat sickness quicker’n a human would.  In the shade?  I’m purdy much fine.”

He gave a shrug.  “There ya have it, darlin’.” He smiled at her. "Now the rest is up ta you. Ya can choose ta believe me, er ya can choose ta believe I'm insane. But no matter what ya choose, I'll give ya this promise - I am notta danger ta ya." He nodded toward the door and then looked back to her, eyes locked. "Yer also free ta leave whenever ya want. If ya think ya need ta get 'way from me. An' I won't be offended, I promise."

@frombehindpaleeyes

At her question, he grinned even wider. "They're real," he said. "It's what happened when ya've been sired, when ya become a Livin' Vampire."

He scooted closer to her, his knee touching her leg. "Feel," he said, opening his mouth for her.

"I can tell ya all 'bout Livin' Vampires, if'n ya wanna know?" he gave a light shrug. "Whether ya choose ta believe it er not is up ta you, but I'ma tell ya now - pay attention ta the world 'round ya from now on. Ya've met a supernatural bein' an' been brought inta his world. Yer eyes have been opened, an' so has yer mind, whether er not ya feel it. Yer gonna start seein' more a'the world than ya bargined fer." He gave a smirk and a chuckle.

"So... Livin' Vampire. Feel like hearin' a explanation?"

@frombehindpaleeyes

[literaticat]

Hi! Real question. Not being snarky. Why does it take MONTHS for editor/publishing contracts to be done? What are the agents and editors actually doing?

I mean we'd all love it to be faster. The bottleneck is not generally happening with agents and editors.

Here's how it goes. (Picking numbers absolutely out of thin air, I have no idea what the actual numbers would be and I imagine it varies!):

You have a publishing house, right? In the kids division, let's say there are six imprints, with six to ten editors each. There are new book acquisitions weekly for sure, probably multiple, at each imprint. Let's say 1-2 books gets through acquisitions at each imprint every week, so between 6-12 new books across the board. We'll aim high and assume 12 new books get offers, which some are accepted some are not, and say they end up moving forward with 8 new books per week across these 6 imprints.

First -- before accepting! -- the editor and agent negotiate a deal memo (this is the basic thing that says all the "big picture" terms such as advance, royalties, etc.). Sometimes things have to be approved by the financial folks, etc. Once the deal memo is complete and we have officially accepted the offer, the editor sends all the paperwork to the contracts department. It is now out of both of our hands.

The "contracts department" may consist of like... two people, and an utterly overwhelmed assistant. They are SWAMPED. They are DYING. They are, I have to assume, trapped in windowless cells doing a painstaking job that requires lots of attention to detail and is utterly thankless and probably getting yelled at by assholes all the time. (I'm so sorry, contracts people, I LOVE YOU, and I don't thank you ENOUGH! You should all get raises!)

So each contract takes time to draft. They can be 20, 25, 30 pages long (or longer!). Each agency does have their own "boilerplate" which at least gives them a place to start so they aren't reinventing the wheel every time, but each book deal does have its own terms (as outlined in the Deal Memo) and there are new terms and bits of wording being changed and asked for all the time -- for agencies like mine, with a lot of business at certain publishers, the contracts people and the agents are basically in a constant conversation, making sure that new terms are being carried over properly, etc etc. It's a nit-picky thing, they are comparing multiple contracts with one another at a granular level, it just takes a long time. No I don't know how long - but I know it takes ME hours to even read them, so I would imagine it's at least a solid half-day with no interruptions to draft them.

Once the contract is drafted, it gets sent to the agent, who carefully reads it and makes notes, those notes get sent back to the contracts person, who carefully reads them and responds, there may be a little more back and forth, finally we get a final contract that can be signed.

(This whole process might, in a fast world, take 1-2 weeks, because the agent ALSO has a queue of things and needs a solid half-a-day to do the notes, and when the notes get back to the contracts person, they go into the notes queue, then the agent needs to re-read the final version, etc. But it could for sure take longer than that. I would not be surprised if it took a month just for a normal contract with all the back-and-forth, and if there are significant changes being asked for, it might literally take months as each side has to get lawyers and such involved to make sure the wording makes sense, etc. This is pretty rare but it DOES happen.)

So back to our bottleneck. The big number of editors filter a ton of submissions into 8 books that are moving forward, those 8 books get filtered to 2 contracts people -- each of those contracts people might be able to realistically do, say, 2 draft contracts per week and 2 notes/final contracts per week. One of them went on vacation once, and both of them have had COVID this year, so unfortunately they are always backed up, and can never actually catch up, because there are more coming in every week than they can possibly do and there's already a queue.

So... That's why contracts take so long. Sorry. Everyone is doing their best, I promise.