#i'm legitimately not mad i just put a lot of importance on critical thinking and factual information alright

[aphverse-confessions]

hello hey, self-proclaimed favourite anon tossing my hat about Jesson. I wanna take a crack at how people talk about Jesson because it's infuriating to see people be total extreme polars between the two. People think Jessica is an irredeemable monster, or they think Jessica gets way too much flack from her audience without understanding/acknowledging the questionable stuff.

REALLY HUGE DISCLAIMER HERE!!! I don't want this to be condoning the idea that people should be held accountable for 5+ year old behaviour. People can and will absolutely change, we shouldn't deny that people can change for the better and learn from their mistakes. Jess herself is capable of growth: she changed Kawaii~Chan's name to an actual name, Nana Ashida, actually gave a backstory to Nana and completely dropped Nana's weebish way of addressing people and dropped Kawaii~Chan as a name entirely. Give people credit where credit's due, treat people with grace and empathy.This entire confession is just my personal reflection on the Jesson debacle, just sorting out my own feelings about the two and trying to find a middle ground between the two extremes of hating Jesson and defending Jesson.

Speaking generally and not just in regards to Aphblr, a lot of people seem to completely completely blame Jess for everything wrong with the series and. Like, I don't think thats fair at all to Jess because it was Jason also contributing and helping out with the stories. We don't know who did what and quite frankly Jason did had an influence on the writing on the series so people shouldn't just scapegoat Jess.

Jess had self inserts, Jess was cringe, Jess butchered the love triangle are criticisms I saw during Youtube, Wattpad, etc during Jesson's hayday and some of these criticism's still persist. Which like... guys, Jess being cringey and self inserting into her stories isn't the most pressing issue you think it is, I'd LOVE to make mad dough self inserting and roleplaying with a harem of hot bishonen boys. I'm gonna be blunt, a very fair share of criticism towards Jess was quite misogynistic and I'm not going to deny that. Back in 2016-2019 people were awful and bashed her for the aforementioned which... ew. Hell!!! I even see some of this misogyny to current day on Youtube!!! Which . Fucking Sucks.

If you're gonna give Jess flack, give Jason flack. If you're gonna call Jess cringe and dumb for self inserting onto a cute perfect anime girl with her boy harem, call Jason 2x amount of that cringe for self inserting onto an edgy werewolf alpha + getting jealous over minecraft cubes. It takes two to tango and Jason definitely had a hand with how the series were written.

Something honestly more important to mention that people cite Jesson's badly written stories as a moral failing instead of actually criticizing the contents within the stories when portraying certain topics*** (put a pin in this, we will come back to this class). Like, people were putting more effort in dragging Jess about the bad writing of MCD and MyStreet with the love triangle + Aarmau, than actual problems with the portrayal of sensitive issues such as racism.

However, in spite of my defense of Jess, I'm gonna be blunt. There were a lot of fucking problems here, Scoob!!! Like. Actual problems with both Jessica and Jason as people that people sometimes overlook due to the more pettier criticisms/complaints. Yes, Jess was a victim of Internet's misogyny and that's 100% valid to acknowledge that, however I feel it's a disservice to handwave and not acknowledge the actual problems Jess had. Jess being a victim of misogyny and Jess doing bad shit are two statements that can co-exist.

Jesson being pariah-ed out of their own fandom isn't exactly undeserved considering all of the legitimate issues there were with the duo (not just Jess herself). It's not a 'hate-train' to not like Jesson or to still be discomforted by their previous behaviour because yeah. It. Was bad. Because we do point-proof-analysis round these parts bitches™, I will provide proof where I can.

To list the issues with Jesson off of the top of my head in no specific order: - Jess absolutely fetishized mlm on multiple occasions. Admitting she's Septiplier trash and fetishizing two real men's friendship when Jess was a 23 year old woman: (https://tinyurl.com/aph-confess) / (https://tinyurl.com/aph-septi-vid-react) - Adding onto the previous point, Jason 'Fans-shipping-my-wife's-Self-Insert-with-other-fictional-men-is-'whoring'-her-out' Bravura even admitted Jess's queerbaiting (https://tinyurl.com/jason-admits-the-queerbaiting) - Jason Bravura as a whole person: from his extremely possessive attitude towards the fanbase when it came to ships (https://tinyurl.com/jason-temper-tantrum), from how he absolutely fought with his tweenage fanbase back in 2016-2018-ish, him being really aggressive online in general, him having a horrible influence on the writing - Apparently Jason was responsible for the Ein-Aphmau incest??? I have no source for this, but would not be shocked if this was the case. - *** Romanticizing grooming/creepy as fuck age-gaps thru Aarmau and Gene PDH. I blame Jason for him being an alleged freak (going off of Jess's Draw my Life). Throw the whole man into the rancor pit at this point - *** The horribly done racism subplots of MCD and MyStreet. Oh my fucking god. I already went into this on my initial confession with Kip and Zoey+Aph being racist to him, the cutesy microaggressions. I already discussed about it in depth, here's the link to read more about it -> (https://tinyurl.com/confession-about-racism)

Jess using mlm to queerbait fans and fetishizing two REAL people as a grown ass woman was shitty, Jason is an entire cesspool of a person and was shitty. The horrible, tone-deaf messaging and portrayal of racism being so prominent throughout MCD/MyStreet was shitty. These problems don't suddenly stop being issues just because people raising petty points about Jesson.

Like there were a ton of problems with Jesson as people/content creators, it's not fair to just dismiss all of the listed as totally petty fandom wank. I feel like in modern day, it's a fair compromise to celebrate the media that they made without falling into praising them as people just because they made a cool Thang™. We can enjoy the stories they made without having to totally enjoy the people behind them. With my previous confessions, it sparked some healthy discussion within Aphblr and I hope this confession will raise some healthy discussion about Jesson as a whole where people can find a middle ground between totally loving/hating Jesson. This was a wholeass essay, so here's a shrimp as a reward 🦐

.

[astroninaaa]

Another blessed day to preach for the hatred for c! Foolish so it have came to my attention that Foolish the ancient god have also committed mass murder on the occupants on one of the episode of the Tales of the SMP : The Village went mad. Also this only confirmed my suspicision and boiled my hatred more on the totem god. He's a cold handed murdered and it was canon. And they let this criminal running around freely on the land of the SMP. Oh I just hope one of the characters decided to do a Background check on Foolish to bring this criminal swiftly on the court system of Justice. But then again it was the dsmp lands so it was an useless proposed idea.

Sincerely

Moralist Anon.

k moralist anon i'm gonna have to stop you there

c!foolish was not a part of the "the village that went mad" tales episode. he wasn't there. i'm not even sure if the mass murder incident was in that village, but i might just be remembering it wrong. either way, that's not the point

that whole thing was an accident. it was "a heist gone wrong", "an easy job with a terrible ending", and it was the final straw before c!foolish swore to never use violence again and to become a pacifist. this was talked about during a quackity lore stream and during many of foolish's semi lore streams. boiling that down to "cold handed murder" is not only unfair and a disservice to his character, it's also just wrong, because it's not what happened.

on another completely unrelated note, it's naive to talk about a "court system of justice" when we've had executions and imprisonment with no trial lmaooo that shouldn't even be a point of discussion, there's no functioning law system in the smp. besides, he's not the only "murderer" running around free. c!techno is right there, as is c!punz, and c!sapnap, and c!antfrost, and many others. what's going on, do they have pretty privilege or something? come on

y'all know i'm always willing to discuss and criticize characters of the dsmp, specially since this fandom has a tendency to put some characters on pedestals and just pretend they are completely moral and have never done anything wrong. however, when you guys come to me to criticize someone, be them characters i love or characters i despise, i expect you to talk about things that actually happened and not a distorted version you came up with. there's a reason i never give my opinions about or do analysis of characters like c!eret or c!antfrost or even c!puffy - i don't think ive ever watched an entire lore stream from any of them, since our timezones don't match, and i'm not going to criticize characters i don't really know about.

there's nothing wrong with disliking a character just because. you don't need reasons to dislike a character, sometimes you just do and that's valid. but when doing analysis and criticism, you can't just say random things that didn't even happen but that match what you want to believe so you can hate a certain character and think that that's an argument.

moralist anon, you can hate c!foolish as much as you want. he used to be one of my favorites but then he did a bunch of stuff that i thought was bullshit (like betraying c!beeduo and just being a dick in general, something you haven't even mentioned, which only makes me believe you have literally Never Watched a Foolish Lore Stream Ever since that's a great point of criticism to his character) and, to be honest, i don't like him that much anymore, but if you want to actually criticize him and his morals, you should actually learn about his character.

important note: i'm not mad!!!!!! LMAO JUST TO MAKE SURE YOU KNOW OKAY I'M NOT MAD IT'S ALRIGHT IT'S OKAY

[themousefromfantasyland]

Santa Claus and the Nature of Belief

I doubt anyone will read this thing, but here's my not-so-little essay: God is as real as Santa, and Santa is as real as God, and I don't say this in a negative way.

Every holiday season I end up reflecting about Santa and the nature of belief as a whole.

We tell our kids to believe in Santa, and generally we try to protect that belief for as long as we can. A frequent theme in Christmas movies is the kid or adult that don't believe in Santa Claus, but by the end of the movie their faith is restored and magic can be sensed everywhere.

And I wonder, what was all that truly about.

Yes, Virginia. There's a Santa Claus

This is the most reprinted newspaper editorial in the English language, and one of the most important pieces of Holiday lore in North America.

Virginia O'Hanlon was the daughter of a coroner's assistant, Dr. Philip O'Hanlon. In 1897, at eight years old, she asked her father if Santa Claus existed. Her father recommended that she send her question to "The Sun", a very important newspaper from New York City, which ran from 1833 until 1950. This was her original letter.

For the surprise of everyone involved The Sun responded the question of the little girl. As far as I can see there was no utterior motive. The paper ran the editorial in the seventh place on the page, below even one on the "chainless bicycle". But it was noticed by the readers. It became almost a legend.

What is important about the story is that the author of the editorial was Francis Pharcellus Church. This man was a war correspondent during the American Civil War. He saw pain, death, misery and despair.

"The Rest of the Story", a radio program that presented little-known or forgotten facts of History, described Church as a hardened cynic and an atheist who had little patience for superstitious beliefs. Initially, he didn't wanted to write the editorial. He even refused to allow his name to be attached to it.

His other writings typically espoused hardened cynicism, skepticism toward religion and superstition. Yet, his most memorable work celebrates faith.

Was he forced to write this thing? Why someone so contrary to blind faith and superstitious beliefs would try so hard to protect and legitimate the beliefs of a young girl? We will never know the answer.

Santa as a metaphor for God.

Mr. Kringle is not concerned for himself, if he was he wouldn't be here. He is in this regrettable position because he is willing to sacrifice himself for children. To create in their minds a world far better than the one we've made for them. If this is, as Mr. Collins suggests, a masquerade then Mr. Kringle is eager to forfeit his freedom to preserve that masquerade. To subject himself to prosecution to protect the children's right to believe. If this court finds that Mr. Kringle is not who he says he is, that there is no Santa, I ask the court to judge which is worse: A lie that draws a smile or a truth that draws a tear.

Miracle on 34th Street

To believe in something even when it doesn't make sense or when you don't have proof. This is a frequent theme in Santa movies. Many use Santa as a commentary on the nature of faith and use him as metaphor to the Christian god. No one took it so far as the 1998 remake of Miracle on 34th street.

The final proof on court that Kris Kringle may not be crazy is that since the US Department of Treasury can put "In God We Trust" on US currency with no hard evidence, then the people of New York can believe in Santa Claus in the same way.

The "Hogfather" and Terry Pratchett

I wrote this essay because I recently read the "Hogfather" by Terry Pratchett, and he basically wrote the best argument for faith and belief that I've ever seen.

First, there's this dialogue exchange:

"There are many who say this... person does not exist," he said.

He must exist. How else could you so readily recognize his picture. And many are in correspondence with him.

Well, yes, of course, in a sense he exists..."

In a sense everything exists

But this one takes the cake. This dialogue is between Susan Sto Helit and her grandfather Death, the best character in the book mind you. This is after they save the Hogfather, the Discworld version of Santa.

Susan: Thank you. Now...tell me...

Death: WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HADN'T SAVE HIM?

Susan: Yes! The sun would have risen just the same, yes?

Death: NO

Susan: Oh, come on. You can't expect me to believe that. It's an astronomical fact."

Death: THE SUN WOULD NOT HAVE RISEN

Susan: It's been a long night, Grandfather. I'm tired and I need a bath! I don't need silliness!

Death: THE SUN WOULD NOT HAVE RISEN

Susan: Really? Then what would have happened, pray?

Death: A MERE BALL OF FLAMING GAS WOULD HAVE ILLUMINATED THE WORLD.

Susan: All right, I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need...fantasies to make life bearable.

Death: REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

Susan: Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—

Death: YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

Susan: So we can believe the big ones?

Death: YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

Susan: They're not the same at all!

Death: YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

Susan: Yes. But people have got to believe that, or what's the point—

Death: MY POINT EXACTLY.

And it continues...

Death: THERE IS A PLACE WHERE TWO GALAXIES HAVE BEEN COLLIDING FOR A MILLION YEARS. DON'T TRY TO TELL ME THAT'S RIGHT.

Susan: Yes, but people don't think about that. Somewhere there was a bad...

Death: CORRECT. STARS EXPLODE, WORLDS COLLIDE, THERE'S HARDLY ANYWHERE IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE HUMANS CAN LIVE WITHOUT BEING FROZEN OR FRIED, AND YET YOU BELIEVE A BED. IT IS THE MOST TALENT."

Susan: Talent?

Death: OH, YES. A VERY SPECIAL KIND OF STUPIDITY. YOU THINK THE UNIVERSE IS INSIDE YOUR HEADS.

Susan: You make us sound mad. A nice warm bed...

Death: NO. YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN'T TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME?

Belief makes us human

It doesn't matter which religion is the true one because no one is. At the same time, all of them are.

Religion is about humans in the past finding patterns in the chaotic world, and trying to survive through it. By believing there's a order in the world, they were able to bring order to their communities and to their personal lives.

Belief is part of our nature. It's our way of understanding the world, of making sense of it all.

These characters and stories in a sense are very much real. They are metaphors for the forces we struggle with in our daily lives, the eternal hardship that is to be human

They don't have to be absolutely real to mean something. Think about your favorite character. They aren't real, but what they represent, best, what they represent to you, this is very real.

Listen, I not advocating for complete abandonment of logic and reality. Today we have a very serious problem with people who completely disregard facts and cults. They consume fake news, they believe in stupid pseudo-science and by refusing critical thinking they put others into danger.

And then there are the Christian fundamentalists, that by all talk about "Religious Freedoms", they really meat forcing their belief system in others and control what people can or cannot believe.

Facts and logic are very important. Always believe in the Science. And, I can stress this enough, Critical Thinking is ESSENTIAL to escape con artists and charismatic cult leaders.

But you can force people to live by only what it can be proved. We aren't robots. There will always be a hole that rationality alone won't be able fill. A deep existential hole that If left unchecked will destroy you bit by bit.

I'm not saying "You need to convert" or "You need religion". But there's clearly something way deep and transcendental in these rituals and stories.

I don't really believe in God and the supernatural. I say that as a gay men who had a lot issues with my overly religious parents. But the gods and these rituals and stories clearly mean something, and I think we shouldn't dismiss the living experiences of these people as just mere superstitions, be then christians, muslins, jews, Wiccans, neopagans, hindus, etc.

Belief certainly brought something to their lives, and certainly they know something we don't.

If your faith makes you happy, if it helps you bring order to your life, if helps you appreciate the world better, if it doesn't force you to discriminate, your faith is completely and integrally valid, and you don't have to prove it to anyone

[cupofcowboys]

Hi, I'm so sorry but I'm about to dump a million asks on you. I really wanted to reply to that post about writing for Javier but my anxiety is destroying me. I don't mind if you wanna post these in a reply on there instead, or just keep them to yourself. It just means a lot if someone listens. Okay here i go:

Please don't take this as me being mad at you, I just wanted to share a perspective that was missed in that writing for Javier post. Your advice was good, but it was kinda only written for people who don't write about Javier because they don't want to be called racist. I don't write for Javier because there are still "bad apples" in the fandom. If I block them they can still see my posts on other people’s blogs and just the idea of them reading my writing makes me so upset I feel sick because I can’t control the lense they view my writing with.

And I’m really not trying to be shady but I’ve seen you and some other people in the replies for that post be kinda supportive of some of those “bad apples”. I don’t judge you for it, I follow you and I think you’re great. Maybe you just don’t know they’re bad apples, either because tumblr moves fast and it’s easy to miss things or maybe you just genuinely don’t understand why what they do is wrong.

But if you see people of colour, especially Latinx people, upset about Javier content they’re probably offended for a good reason. They’re also being made feel unwelcome in their safe space. And the fandom might be really important to them considering a lot of other media is literally talking shit about them constantly. It may seem like they’re upset about something “small” to you, but they’ve learned to notice the “small” things because they’re often the tip of a racist iceberg.

In some contexts being able to notice that stuff can literally be life saving, it pays to be hyper vigilant. But if they’re reaching out asking you to make changes instead of avoiding you, it’s because they think you can do better. And usually they’re not asking for much, just for people to be more aware when they’re writing for Javier. Like you said, just try to write for his character traits and not because of stereotypes you might have absorbed.

It’s a challenge though because Javier’s character was founded on stereotypes, the entire original game was. It pays to put a bit more effort in, just like rockstar did the second time around. He IS passionate but I don’t think they ever used the word passionate to describe him in rdr2 (maybe I’m wrong) I kinda wish writers would avoid it too when they write for Javier.

Even when it’s a perfectly fine use of the word, I just automatically slam the breaks when I see “passionate” used to describe latinx people. I can still get back into reading and enjoy the fic, but I’d enjoy it even more if I didn’t have the abrupt pauses. And it’s a pretty small change to make that can make a huge difference and also be a good creative exercise.

The other thing I wish writers would avoid is peppering “Mexican” all over the place. Like don’t erase his race where it’s relevant, but when someone throws in a random “the Mexican sat down” or whatever it almost always comes across as fetishising. There are so many adjectives in the world, ask yourself why you automatically go to that one. Or just use his name a lot, it might be “annoying” for some readers but it’s not gonna legitimately hurt someone like coming across as fetishising might.

-♥-

I just want to say thank you so much for reaching out to me about this. I deeply appreciate your perspective and insights, especially on enlightening me to things I hadn’t thought about. I want to give you the prior understanding that I am not American/Mexican, I have never been to America/Mexico and I’m not educated on American relations/media/perspectives relating to Latinx people. At least, not in the way that people who live and experience that are. Please understand that when I express my thoughts, feelings and opinions. I only have my perspective as a British woman.

For this reason, I am more than happy to listen to constructive criticism and insights from Latinx people, especially if what I’m doing directly harms them or makes them feel unsafe. Fandom is a safe space, especially my blog. I will never be offended or defensive about it so long as I’m treated with mutual respect. I’m in a position only to learn and better myself as much as possible. That’s why I’m here.

As for “bad apples” in the fandom, I admit that I don’t know who they are. If I do something supportive of them, please don’t be afraid to let me know! I will listen to you. I try my best to be vigilant and thoughtful, but I’m not as educated as I should be. I’m aware of that. Any enlightenment is appreciated by me. I’ll just state that I’m not, and never will be, interested in drama or attacking anyone.

I agree that Javier’s character was based on stereotypes. I actually omitted that point from my original reblog post because I didn’t want to draw too much attention to it. He’s still got a lot of stereotypes attached to him in RDR2. But I don’t like to view him through the “lens” of a stereotype, I try to expand on his character as much as possible to counteract that and I think that’s what writers should do. We don’t have to lean into the stereotypes we’re given. But he is the character they wrote, and we can only do so much while staying “true” to him.

The “mexican” descriptor is a thing I’ve also learnt to avoid (by digesting posts I’ve seen about that!) and think it should be applied to every writer. It’s ok only in contexts where it matters. I also hate the use of slurs in fics, especially when they aren’t given the weight they actually carry. Always puts me off. It’s rare, but I have seen it and I hate it. I will also omit the use of the word “passionate” in my fics/conversations about Javier, thank you for telling me about that!

I have no issue with people expressing their thoughts/feelings/opinions about how people write/interact regarding Javier. In fact, I wholeheartedly encourage and support it! I will always reblog posts like that. What I do have an issue with, is how those posts are worded. I’m never going to support, like or reblog a post that is aggressive, demeaning or offensive about any topic. Even if it’s coming from a good intention.

As for your reluctance to write Javier because of “bad apples” seeing it through the wrong lens, you are never going to be able to control who sees your posts. I see posts from people on my dash who I don’t like and who make me unhappy any time I see them - even though they are blocked. Tumblr has an awful blocking system. I completely understand why you feel that way and wouldn’t want to do it.

But I think you should do it for the “good apples”. You should do it for you. There is no way to stop people interpreting what you create differently from your intentions. That’s just one of the laws of creating. Don’t let that hold you back. If anything, set the example that you want to see. Be the “good apple” and to counteract the rot the “bad apples” bring. You have that power and you should actively embrace it.

Thank you again for speaking to me about this, I hope my response was okay. If you like, I can post your asks as a separate post on their own. Please just let me know ♥

[leoninapelliolovesconchitawurst]

ENGLISH TRANSLATION (by me)

Wurst in the old FM4 Studio

Photo by Lukas Lottersberger

"I am both Conchita and WURST."

By Daniela Derntl

https://fm4.orf.at/stories/2995448/

Songcontest winner Tom Neuwirth has on his new album "T.O.M. - Truth Over Magnitude quasi reinvented "as WURST. Instead of Conchita's glamorous diva ballads, evening gowns and wigs, there's now danceable electro-pop, vinyl, leather and sex. A conversation about the new record, self-discovery, the jurors activity on "Queen of Drags" and the upcoming tour.

FM4: Recently your new record "T.O.M. - Truth Over Magnitude "came out. And that's also your debut album for your new project WURST. The CD has been out for a few weeks. How were the reactions?

WURST: The reactions were very positive. I think I was the least nervous. Probably the people around me a little more, because you do not know if that happens or not. I was extremely pleased that what was happening was understood , and the music is also liked. I love this album, I can hear it up and down, which is not so obvious to me. I'm more of the category: I do not look and listen to my own stuff. But I love this album!

FM4: Which song is on Heavy Rotation right now?

WURST: Currently it's "Can’t Come Back" because I'm going to perform live soon, in a very special cast. And that's why I have to listen to it a bit, so I know the text. It's always a story with the text. Sometimes I like to improvise.

FM4: I also wanted to talk to you about this song anyway. Because it is interesting that you speak now also as WURST in dialect, and before as Conchita only spoke High German. Are there any other entrances when singing? Because in this just mentioned "Can’t Come Back", you also sound quite different, especially at the beginning of the song.

WURST: I sing so deeply, like never before, and that's actually not that easy. So to intonate is a challenge. But that's also a point of this album that I can really show my full range. And also show a bandwidth that I did not even know I had.

WURST about the start of the new project

FM4: When was it clear to you that Conchita could not go on like that - and you have to change. When was the starting signal for the new project?

WURST: The starting signal came after the decision that things could not go on like this. I think - quite banal - when I got up, and was no longer happy and had no mood for anything. I put that on for a few months, and I thought, yes, that will be all right. But it did not happen again. And then I dealt with myself. Then I also started talking therapy because I thought I could not go on alone, I seemed to need a new input somehow. That helped me a lot. And then I also really understood that I am responsible for my own life and I cannot fool around and say: They do not understand me. And they did not understand me. No! I did not understand it anymore and that's why I had to do something new.

FM4: What other insights have you got there, especially on the artistic path?

WURST: First and foremost, I looked closely at my ego and thought about how I go through the world and how to deal with people. Whether I'm really as fabulous as I think? And unfortunately we are not all! (laughs) We hurt people with our behaviour, and seeing and accepting that in its entirety has given me, I believe, this freedom boost to do something where nobody would have said, yes! Electropop! Great idea! And with that freedom it was ‘wurst’ (not important) for me. I did not care, I just had to do it, and then it all happened.

WURST about working with Eva Klampfer and Albin Janoska

FM4: So you had to go through a dark tunnel and then, together with songwriter Eva Klampfer aka Lylit and producer Albin Janoska, saw a light together at the end of the tunnel? Can one say that?

WURST: Definitely! I have wandered through many songwriting camps in recent years. Unsuccessful, because I'm not terribly talented when it comes to it. And then, by some coincidence, Severin Trogbacher, who plays the guitar in my band and is also my band leader, introduced me to Albin Janoska. And Albin says: Would you like to work with Eva? And I thought, that is not possible. You travel all over Europe to somehow write songs, and then they're all sitting there waiting.

FM4: Albin Janoska maybe known from Count Basic ...

WURST: He also produces Count Basic and son. You listen to the record, and understand what it's all about!

FM4: Eva Klampfer aka Lylit wrote the songs for you. And I've read - and I'm asking you now if that's true - that the character WURST was created while working on the album. So it was not clear at the beginning who the songs would be written for now?

WURST: Exactly! Eva and I have talked a lot about who this is for now. What is my name? Is that somehow okay? Actually, some songs were finished and I knew that "Trash All The Glam" would be the first single. That was the moment we sat together and kind of wondered what the video might look like. And I'm a very visual person and it just came suddenly. We went on location scouting and we just saw this shot that I was driving down the escalator, and then I said: There must be WURST in red letters like an exit sign. That was a moment when everything was clear to me. That's it: I'm both Conchita and WURST. It's so absurd, if you think about it in hindsight. It all happened to me by accident. But that's me. I love kitsch and pomp, and all the madness that the show business brings with it, but I like it a bit rude, simpler, clearer and without much frills.

WURST has reconciled with Conchita

FM4: You've reconciled yourself to Conchita through this metamorphosis? Can you say that?

WURST: Yes. In fact, I almost fell into the same trap again, because at the beginning of the project WURST I thought to myself: Now there are no high heels and wigs anymore, and the look is that, and blah. And then I'm like this: Oh wow! I'm doing the same thing again as I did before and restricting myself again. Of course, then came this TV show "Queen Of Drags" where it was all about showing all facets. Then I painted myself, and thought: Oh, there she is! And she is more beautiful than ever! And I think I did not get away from the mirror for half an hour because I thought: Oh yes! (Laughing). I love it!

WURST about his future plans

FM4: I have the impression that your metamorphosis is far from complete. You have a lot more sides, people, maybe even a whole ensemble in the quiver?

WURST: Yes, I also believe that there is still something in me that I do not yet know about. I also do not think that for ever and ever I'll just "stay in the music" under quotes. I also want to design sets, I also want to do fashion, I want to be a director and scream at actors. I want to write a musical about my life, because the boy from the mountains who wins the song contest is like "Sound Of Music". Sorry! And that's the way it will sound (laughs). Of course I'm wondering what the next one might be because the album is out now and I'm going on tour with it next year. I'm looking forward to it, but I do not want a standstill. I stir around a bit ...

WURST about "Queen Of Drags"

FM4: You're now also a juror on the new German TV show "Queen Of Drags", and there it hails from the queer community criticism of your co-juror Heidi Klum, because she has nothing to do with Queer and Drag. You clearly defend your colleague. But it's pretty much off, right?

WURST: Yes, fully. For one thing, I think everyone has an opinion. Hey, awesome! What this outcry from the community has just shown is that your character does not depend on your sexual orientation, because this community wants so much inclusion and understanding, and then somehow that does not work out. I find that a bit contradictory now. Yes, of course, there are not only fans of Heidi Klum, and I did not know her before either, and I have to say that this collaboration was just easy. And she was fully aware that it was somehow controversial, and she was just so respectful and so inside, asking questions without end, just wanting to be a part of it. I think that when it comes to judging candidates, we've always wanted to judge whether they're getting better. Because I would like to have all these ten Queens have a career after that and live on it. And I would like to give them what I have already learned.

FM4: Drag culture is also about body positivity. And that's just Heidi Klum as an executioner of "Germanys Next Top Model" not necessarily the right thing for something?

WURST: Yes, "Germanys Next Top Model" is a completely different format. And absolutely right there was a body awareness that was mediated, which is definitely not healthy. But even in this program, there was a learning process that has seen over the last few years.

WURST about pink-washing

FM4: Another reproach on the show was also the so-called "Pink Washing". So that now a broadcaster and a presenter who otherwise have nothing to do with this queer culture and scene capitalize on it. And you're almost the queer fig leaf on the whole. What do you say?

WURST: That's an absolutely legitimate comment. I want to say that I use it as well. Because I did not know Heidi before either, but she gives us the best slot on one of the biggest private channels to show what the queer community has on it to show people what's left. Of course! Excuse me! I get it - pinkwashing, et cetera. But I also take advantage of it to show how cool it is to be casual with each other, and how great it is to be supported. And how great it is when everyone can just be what he wants to be. And I love that too on this show. It works like nothing else. But when it comes down to it, keep it together. And I think that's exactly what it's about!

WURST about the Eurosonic Festival

FM4: Let's talk about your upcoming tour. In January you play at the Eurosonic Festival in Groningen, and that's a showcase festival for newcomers. And you're not really a newcomer anymore! But how is it for you to start from the beginning? Smaller halls to play, maybe not so many amenities to have. What is it like for you playing at a newcomer festival?

WURST: I think it's so cool that I'm allowed to get involved with the cool kids, and of course I'm really looking forward to this festival because it's something new for me. I do not know this kind of festival. Especially not as an artist. And I do not know the audience. And that's why I feel like a newcomer. But I'm no longer a newcomer in that sense, I realize. But I said it aloud, and now everyone believes it! (Laughing).

WURST about the concerts in Poland

FM4: No one believes you! It will also be exciting for you at the beginning of February, as you will play twice in Poland, in Warsaw and in Krakow. And the head of the Polish governing party PIS this year has declared homosexuals and transgender people to be "enemies of the state". So you can only be there with massive protective measures and safety precautions. How are you doing there? On the one hand you want to set a signal, on the other hand it is not without danger.

WURST: Yes, on the one hand, I am a pretty unconscious lamb when it comes to that, because in my opinion I always see only the good. I once had personal security for 24 hours when I was in St. Petersburg. That feels weird. I do not know if it will be the case in Poland. I do not want to sound cynical, but I - as such a public person - already have some protection because of this publicity, because if anything should happen then it would attract a lot of attention. And that's why I may not see my safety in the foreground right now. I'm just happy that I can play there for my fans, because I have so many from the East, and I just want to have a great time with them!

FM4: Thanks for the interview and all the best!