#i'm kinda cringing rereading this lol

[kazvha]

STOP IT!

Summary: He doesn't let you resume your work

Including: Mr. Kayden Break

You squinted your eyes, pretending to think your decision over, but then you put some distance between Kayden and you. "Yes. I should really head back to work now, but I don't mind if we continue later."

"Hmm... Indulge me for another five minutes and I'll let you free after that." His arms wrapped around your middle and he slowly laid his head on top of yours, completely caging you in.

A sigh escaped your lips as you tried to pry off his arms, which to your dismay didn't budge at all. Even pushing his heavy head off didn't work. "Kayden! You're unbelievable, stop it." You couldn't see his face on top of your head right now, but you were pretty sure that he was smiling. And oh how much you wanted to wipe that annoying smile off his face...

Kayden wiggled his eyebrows, "You really sure you want me to stop?" He swayed you both around the room, as if you were dancing to some imaginary music.

• Five minutes later:

"Kayden, I think I feel loved and comforted enough now. Let me work you wacko!" You groaned and shoved your elbow into his stomach, but he just laughed and a faked pained expression crossed his face. "Ouch, that hurts... Your work can wait, but my love for you surely can't!"

His lips moved to your own to press a sweet kiss on them.

"Huh? I feel much better already, your lips must have some healing powers... Let me try again."

"Stop it!" Another kiss.

"You said-!" Another one.

"Five minutes!" Another.

"Kayden!"

"I don't want to stop, babe." And again, another kiss.

How did you end up like this??

[phyrestartr]

any tips for new writers

YUH BOI I have a lot lol

Write what you like. You will naturally put more effort/passion into something you're writing for yourself/smth you're writing for fun. Don't do it for clout, and don't write JUST to post. Also, don't write things just because ppl tell you to/request you to. Itsk to let stories perish if they're not working/you don't like it (you might figure out a way to save said story after some thinking, too)

If you read a fanfic/book and really like it, try to figure out why it spoke to you. Did you like the dialogue? Did you like the descriptions? Did you like the stylization? Then, try to incorporate that into your own writing in your own way

If you read a fanfic/book and you really DON'T like it, try to identify what you didn't like LOL. It really helps with crafting your style/story if you identify and avoid shite you personally think is cringe/uninteresting/overdone/cliche-y in a bad way/etc.

Accept that first draft is gonna be clunky and probably kinda bad. You pretty much just gotta get the story down even if it doesn't flow too good because then you can go back, reread, figure out what does and doesn't work in terms of prose and flow and character interactions

Don't feel like you need to write something super long and detailed. Detail and flowery descriptions are good when used in the correct moments, but don't harp on something meaningless for too long if it's not really important in the theme/moment. Writing short stories is the most fun and the best practice for getting into writing since it just has to be like one scene or a very short arc before ending. Lots of readers like the long fics (I mean, same) but they're really hard to write, so don't feel like you need to write a novel or anything. keep it short and sweet for a while!!

Use a thesaurus. Helps you learn new words and new ways to describe something

Themes are helpful for keeping a story feeling coherent. Ex. I use lots of 'godly' descriptors and comparisons of natural disasters (storms, forest fires, earthquakes, tsunamis) to describe how dangerous/powerful a person or feeling is, and I try to stay in that theme to build a better picture of someone/something

Show, don't tell! This is kinda based on your preference, though, since sometimes you just wanna say "bro was mad." It depends on the situation imo. Generally, describing the way someone is physically feeling instead of emotionally is more impactful and lets the reader think and make choices based on the info you've given them. Not everything needs to be spelled out--readers are quite smart and can put together their own conclusions even if it's not what the writer initially had in mind. (Ex. "John felt fury boil in his blood" vs "John's veins ached with heat and his face flushed an angry colour")

It's ok to make mistakes/not perfect a scene. Sometimes you just wanna move on lol

Have fun! If you're not having fun, what's the point homie u-u

hope that's at least a little helpful! LMK if y'all have any other questions/specific Qs or anything. I'm not a pro writer so maybe this is all useless idk LOL

[ky-uwu]

defense {kyle broflowski x reader} {oneshot}

synopsis.

amidst the skankhunt42 events, you inadvertently get your crush kyle and close friend heidi together in an effort to separate her and cartman.

things get a little messy.

cw. harsh language, offensive insults

also cw: this kinda sucks LOL

everyone here is aged up to highschool, 15-16. i was gonna keep them in fourth but when i reread it it felt off idk. constructive criticism is welcome i will cry if ur mean to me tho

it was no secret that heidi's relationship with cartman was a toxic one.

you felt bad for her; you really did. you knew that her relationship with cartman was produced by her feelings of loneliness. you wanted to help her, but didn't really know how; the girls just ripped on her for dating the biggest dickhead in school, and offered no comfort.

you really knew it wasn't your place, but nothing you said to heidi got through to her. you figured the last thing you could do was talk to cartman's friends about the situation. of the group, you and kyle were the closest, and knew the rest in passing. you had developed a small crush on kyle as you spent time together studying before things got crazy. unfortunately you hadn't spoken to him recently. in spite of everything, you hoped at the very least kyle would hear you out.

at lunch, you decided to walk to their table, a pit of nerves in your stomach. as you got closer, you could hear cartman shit talking heidi.

stan had been the first to see you coming over, as he nudged kyle and nodded his head in your direction. he looked up, confused. you could feel yourself turn red.

"um, hey... guys," you waved, internally cringing at yourself. everyone at the table now had their eyes trained on you. you had never felt so out of place before.

cartman stopped complaining mid sentence and visibly eyed you up and down. "fuck no, leave." your frown deepened.

"um, yeah (y/n), no offense but why are you over here?" stan asked.

you had started to answer, when you heard another voice call out cartman's name. you glanced over to see heidi walking over with a smile.

"hi cartman! and, (y/n)? what are you doing over here?"

"oh, um, you know. the girls were being a little annoying so..." you bit the inside of your lip anxiously. it wasn't necessarily abnormal for you to sit with the guys sometimes when the girls were being a little too much - but with the tension between the boys and the girls recently you hadn't in a while. which, in a word, sucked, since that meant less time with kyle.

heidi gave a shrug and smiled at cartman, who looked like he wanted nothing more than for her to leave. your brow furrowed as she invited him to sit together for lunch and he begrudgingly followed along. you took his empty seat and started explaining,

"look, i'm worried about heidi. cartman is a fucking ass, and she's hurting. the girls just make fun of her and it's not helping. can you guys like, i dunno, do something? make them split?"

"i've been trying!" kyle interjects, and you look over to him with a puzzled look. "i've been saying we need to do something, but they won't listen!" he gestures to the guys around him angrily.

stan shakes his head. "it's not our business dude. she'll leave when she realizes how horrible he is." butters nodded in agreement. "yeah fellas, we really have no right to get involved."

"you're fucking joking, right? how can you just let him treat her like that?" you knew coming over here wasn't the best idea - this was just making you frustrated. "you know, forget it!" you slammed your hands on the table and pushed yourself up. you glanced up at kyle who gave you a concerned look, and left the cafeteria with a huff.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

you made your way back to your locker to hang out there for the rest of lunch. you were just gonna have to deal with this yourself, you thought bitterly. you heard the door from the cafeteria open and was surprised to see kyle coming over to you.

he started talking before you could say anything. "i want to help you break them up." you turned towards him. "really?"

he nodded, and explained how he had been trying for a while to get the guys to understand that cartman was being pretty cruel to heidi.

"okay, then. i think you should talk to her. whenever i try, it doesn't get to her. i think she needs someone else's perspective." you said, and looked to kyle to see what he thought.

"i can talk to her after school today, then." you smiled at him.

"i appreciate you helping me, i'm so worried about heidi..." you frowned slightly and looked off dejectedly.

you hoped this worked.

you startled when a sudden warmth grabbed your hand, and looked over with wide eyes to kyle smiling sweetly at you.

"i'm glad to help you, (y/n). and heidi. it's been a while since we've talked anyways."

you felt your face flush and lip slightly quiver at his words. "y-yeah," you stammered. "i want things to go back to normal." he let go of your hand and nodded. "yeah, me too. though, can't say i'm not glad the fatass is gonna get his heartbroken, though..."

you let out a laugh at his insult. "well, i'm gonna go back to the guys. i'll talk to you later!" he waved goodbye as you watched him disappear behind the double doors.

maybe when this was all over, you'd invite him over to study again.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

the next day, while you were at your locker before class, heidi ran up to you.

she looked happier than ever.

"(y/n)!(y/n)!" she called out. she stopped running when she got to you, a little out of breath. "i did it! we broke up!" you offered her a smile, knowing your efforts with kyle worked.

"i'm glad. he sucked,"

but why the change of heart?" you watched as she pulled out a pretty envelope from her bag. "kyle actually talked me into it. he said such nice things to me..." she trailed off, and her face flushed. "i think i actually really like kyle - i made this to give to him," she held up what she made.

your smile fell as she continued. "i'm gonna give him this later. i kinda think we're dating now - is that shallow? am i a bad person?"

you fiddled with your backpack straps, not really knowing what to say. "um, of course not heidi. you deserve to be happy. cartman can suck it." she giggled excitedly. "you could say that again. do you wanna see what i wrote to kyle?"

"um, i'd love to, but i just remembered i told ms. nelson i'd meet her before class. so, i should go." you turned and left before she could say anything else. you hoped she didn't notice you were definitely going in the opposite direction of ms.nelson's room.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

kyle had waved at you in class, but you turned away. you knew you had really no reason to be upset with him, but it definitely did suck.

you hoped you could get over it soon.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

the next morning, you could hear yelling as you entered school, and saw a crowd in the middle of the hall.

"what's going on?" you asked a kid who was passing by, probably to go watch. "there's a fight! kyle and cartman, over heidi!" you felt your brow twitch.

fuck that, you thought, and turned away.

but what if kyle got hurt? cartman could so much as trip and if he landed on kyle just right he'd break a leg or something.

but kyle was more than capable of beating cartman's ass...

you shook your head and just went to class.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

by the time lunch came around, everyone was talking about what happened earlier.

especially the girls.

"heidi, i'd give anything to have 2 guys fight over me like that." bebe laughed with the other girls as heidi looked away bashfully.

comments like "isn't it so romantic" were being thrown around and you could tell heidi was eating it up.

"good god guys, can we talk about something else?" you asked bitterly, looking up from the table.

"what the fuck is your problem, (y/n)?" bebe snapped, and all their heads turned to you. you sighed, "i'm just tired of hearing about it. not even a week ago you were making fun of her, and now you're gushing. give me a fucking break, guys."

"christ, you're just jealous you're not the one kyle's pining after. no one's forcing you to sit with us, you can leave you know." bebe quipped back harshly. you opened your mouth to snap back, but decided against it. you stood up and stormed out.

on your way to the lockers, you felt your phone buzz in your pocket.

from: bebe

we don't think you should come to heidi's dinner tonight

you clicked your tongue in annoyance and put it back. go figure.

well, this fucking blows, you thought. you felt tears welling up in your eyes as you put your back against the lockers and slowly slumped the floor.

how did it end up like this? you had just wanted to see heidi happy again - just not happy with the boy you had a sappy crush on. you stared at the set of lockers ahead of you, thinking about how if you just never went to that damned table, you wouldn't be crying in the hallway like a baby. that maybe -

"(y/n)?" you barely heard someone say your name as you looked up to see a bright orange jacket worn by arguably the last person you wanted to see.

"kyle?" you quickly brought your sleeves up and wiped your eyes.

"you looked pretty upset, what happened?" he kneeled down next to you, and you scooted away slightly.

"um, it doesn't matter," you picked at your nails. "uh, bebe made fun of me about a test i failed. you know how mean bebe can be..."

kyle definitely didn't look convinced. you asked about this morning before he had a chance to pry further.

he snorted and laughed bitterly. "cartman's so fucking stupid. he came over and slammed me into the lockers, saying how i took everything from him. i hit him once and it was done." he looked kinda proud of himself. confidence wasn't something that exactly oozed off kyle, which you never understood. in your eyes, he deserved all the confidence in the world.

"wouldn't expect any different."

a weird silence washed over you as you rested your back against the lockers again.

"um, congrats on you and heidi. i'm glad you're making her happy again." you glanced at him from the corner of your eye and saw him smile softly.

"yeah, she's great." you looked back at the lockers. you didn't wanna keep talking to him like this.

"the girls are going out later to celebrate."

"yeah, heidi told me. we're going out after too."

you hummed in response.

"hm. well, i should go back. don't let whatever bebe said get to you." you nodded as he patted your shoulder and got up to return to the cafeteria.

yeah, this definitely fucking blows.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

when your alarm rang the next morning, you had no desire to get up and go to school. pressing snooze for the third time, you flopped onto your back and started at the ceiling.

you had your eyes closed for about 20 seconds before your mom came into your room, and forced you out of bed.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

as you walked into school, you could tell something was up.

well, something was always up in south park. but the air felt thicker. as you approached your locker, you saw heidi leaning against it, looking at her nails.

here we go

"um, hey heidi." you greeted shakily. she looked up with a cold gaze.

"i wanted to talk about what bebe said yesterday. is that ok?"

you shrugged in response, a little confused. what was going on?

"did she mean it? are you jealous of me?" she stepped closer to you, and you stepped back.

"no, of course not, heidi. i don't really know what that was all about. or what the fuck you're on about right now either," you stepped back again.

"oh, okay," she sang, voice getting louder. "so you don't have feelings for kyle? she was lying about that?" her lips quirked up as your face fell. a couple people started to crowd around you as they started murmuring to one another.

you stared at her in bewilderment. "what the fuck is your deal?"

"god, eric was right about the both of you. is that why you like him? because you're both sneaky manipulative pussies?""

you felt anger boil in your chest as you realized cartman was involved.

"of fucking course you're back with him. heidi, just move the fuck out of my way. we're not doing this." you glared at the girl in front of you. she started laughing as she walked forward again.

"eric's not the issue. it's you. you were too busy trying to manipulate me into breaking things off, you couldn't see how no one fucking likes you!"

you gripped your backpack straps tight and you could feel a burning sensation in your eyes. you turned to go but she grabbed your shoulder. "look at yourself. can you really blame kyle for choosing me over you?"

before you even knew what you were doing, you felt your fist connect with heidi's face.

and then you suddenly found yourself on top of her, punching her even more with tears streaming down your face.

if there wasn't a crowd before, there certainly was now.

you suddenly felt someone grab you from under your arms and drag you up. you were heaving at this point, face covered in tears.

"you need to calm down," a familar voice came from right behind you.

a voice you recognized all too well.

"kyle..." you whispered. you felt more tears well up in your eyes as you stopped squirming and he let go of you.

this was all too much. you didn't even want to look at what you did to heidi, and you didn't know if you could handle kyle's disappointed gaze that you felt you deserved.

"heidi, i-i'm sorry-" you stepped forward, but cartman had pushed his way through to her side. "oh my god, what the fuck did you do to her you fucking skank?!" he started walking towards you, and you were certain he was gonna have you on the floor in another second.

before that could happen, you were shoved back as kyle put himself in between the two of you.

"cartman, i swear to god if you take another step i'll beat the shit out of you again!" kyle spat. you couldn't see what eric was doing from where you were, but you assume he backed off. you saw eric and heidi weave through the crowd of people. they eventually dispersed.

kyle had turned around, but you stared at the floor. at this point, the adrenaline was wearing off and your knuckles started to ache.

you don't know how long you both stood there, but it felt like eternity.

kyle was the first to break the silence. "i can take you to the nurse," he quietly offered. you bit your lip. of everyone, you definitely did not deserve his kindness.

"i'll go myself." you mumbled, and turned to walk away. you heard footsteps behind you, and soon kyle was trailing by your side.

you didn't say a word to each other.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

kyle waited outside the office as the nurse gave you an ice pack.

she hadn't really spoken to you, but you didn't miss the judgmental looks she passed your way.

"go straight to the principal." was all she said, then she dismissed you.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

kyle wordlessly followed you to the office, and sat beside you as you held the ice on your hands. you could hear heidi and cartman from the other side of the door. you kept your gaze down.

"why are you here, kyle?" you muttered, voice soft and trembling.

"i wanted to make sure you're okay."

"why?" you looked over to him and felt the burning in your eyes for the nth time that day. kyle averted his gaze and he was playing with the tips of his gloves. "i feel like this is my fault."

you blinked at him a couple times, not really understanding. his fault? was it not you who just beat the shit out of a girl?

"i'd argue this is definitely not your fault," you sighed. "listen, i don't know how much of what she said you heard. but i don't want to talk about it. i still don't understand how you're not angry with me."

there was a pause before he spoke. "heidi broke it off last night, before our date. she didn't outright say it, but she basically said i manipulated her. that, 'it's in my heritage' to be conniving."

you wanted to say that you're sorry, that he didn't deserve that. but you couldn't find the words.

"then, she mentioned you. how you were the one who... manipulated me? to be manipulative? however the fuck that works." he gave a short dry laugh. "the whole thing confused me. until i saw her walk away with cartman, then i understood what was happening."

"i'm still confused," you said. "how is this your fault?"

kyle turned to face you fully, and you turned your head to look at him. "listen. don't... don't listen to what heidi said. i... was selfish. i did really think cartman was treating her terribly - i wanted them to split for heidi's sake. but a part of me wanted to piss cartman off. and i realized getting with heidi was one of the best ways to do that."

you stared at the boy in front of you, at a loss for words. you know you should feel disgusted; technically he used heidi as a weird revenge pawn. really, heidi breaking things off was a weird way of karma doing its thing.

but it didn't feel like that.

you really didn't know how to feel about any of this.

"it's... still not your fault. cartman's a fucking dick. and i'm the one who lost my temper." you looked up and met his eyes.

"yeah, because of me." he said grimly. you sighed and looked down again. why was he being so stubborn about this?

"i know you said you don't want to talk about it, but please (y/n), be honest with me. you were jealous?" he sounded almost pained to ask the question.

you nodded slightly. "i know it's pathetic," you mumbled. you jumped when he grabbed your hand, careful to avoid the ice packs.

"no, it's me who's pathetic. god," he let out a heavy sigh. "i, um, have feelings for you."

your head snapped over to him immediately. "kyle," you said sternly. "please don't do this out of pity." a look of hurt showed on his face.

"no, no, you're not understanding." you could tell he was getting frustrated as his free hand power gripped his knee. "when we stopped hanging out, and you stopped coming by during lunch, i thought i did something wrong. but i didn't want to pester you, and i kind of just, gave up. i was so glad when you came by again, though the circumstances sucked." he took his hand off of yours and sighed. "i know i fucked up here. i'm sorry doesn't even cut it."

you tapped your fingers on the armrest as you thought about what to say. "i don't have it in me to, not forgive you. a apart of me thinks you're a selfish asshole," you glanced at him and saw his face fall. "but, i clearly fucked up here too. we all fucked up. you're not a bad person, kyle."

you put your hand on his weakly. "i think we both need time to figure things out. but, i want to figure things out together." you smiled at him.

"yeah," he said, gripping your hand. "we'll figure things out together."

[chrimsonfoxdon]

Ooh question, you mentioned rewatching as an adult, and I'm curious, what kinds of things do you view differently now? I'm rereading the manga after a long time too, and the big thing I'm noticing is that I have more compassion now, especially towards characters who I didn't realize reminded me of myself and not in the best ways 😂 And especially during part 1 I found myself wondering why we don't see their parents more often (for those who still have them) and who took care of them growing up (for the others).

I have felt similar!! Ok I’m gonna maybe list stuff out on what I’ve noticed I view differently.

Very long post under the cut of me rambling (again)!

1. My Opinion on What I Consider Good Media Has Changed

Starting with this one as I feel it’s a big overarching thing that’ll dictate all my other opinions and thoughts. I’ve watched, read, and listened to A LOT of other series and media since I first started watching Naruto (also you know life experience and such), so I have a better idea of what is “good” media and what is “bad.” When I was younger, I considered Naruto to be the best of the best, but I don’t think that now (as far as anime that title now goes to FMA:B it’s very good please watch it if you haven’t oh my god). It has a lot of flaws, some endearing and others… not so much. Granted that’s any piece of media. Nothing is perfect (not even FMA:B). But despite that, I’ve also learned that it’s ok to still enjoy it!! Imo it’s not all bad, I mean, we’re still here discussing it yea?

I guess the TLDR of this part is: it’s cringe but that’s ok cuz life is short and we should enjoy the stuff we like.

2. Female Characters/Feminism

I feel like, while these are different topics, they’re very linked together in how I watch Naruto now so I’m putting them together. When I was younger, I didn’t like really any of the female cast (except Tenten). I found them “annoying,” to put it simply. Sakura always chasing after Sasuke?? Lame. Ino being obsessed with her looks?? Shallow. Hinata losing to Neji? Weak. I began to think that I didn’t like those characters because I didn’t like female characters mostly as a whole (which is kinda hilarious cuz I did start making Chihiro back then who does in fact identify as a woman LOL!!). But this negative attitude towards female characters not only leaked into how I consumed other media, but how I saw myself and other women irl. Like I distinctly remember believing that a woman could never beat a guy in anything. Which is uh… not true!! And kinda fucked up!!!

Now that I’m older I just realize that kishimoto doesn’t know how to write women all that well. Imo, it’s not the girls’ faults, it’s their creator. Which is disappointing but also freeing almost?? Plus, I can now appreciate what good they do have to offer!! (I talked a little about the konoha 12 girls and what I like about them in this ask in case you’d like details on individual characters)

I think also being exposed to other fans with differing opinions and views has helped me with this as well. When I first started watching I didn’t really go online (wasn’t a thing in Cuba plus I wasn’t really interested), so I didn’t really have other perspectives to bounce off of.

Also wanted to add that there are definitely parts of the show I laughed off before but you know, just are not acceptable nowadays. Mainly thinking of Shikamaru talking down on girls/women, Neji made a rude comment about girls too (that Tenten corrected him on tho thank you queen), and some bits that could be perceived as a little transphobic (I’m not trans tho so I don’t wanna speak for them on that bit). Its viewpoints that I feel are a product of the time, but does not make the overall series bad per se.

3. Seeing Other Children as a Child VS as an Adult

Ngl since I grew up with Naruto, I feel as if I will always see them as my peers in a sense. If anything, almost like the “older kids” in school. Like I don’t know if this is a common perception, but I remember when I was like in 2nd grade I saw 6th graders as like tiny adults, but then when I was in 6th grade I saw 2nd graders as like babies. Does that make sense?? Anyway, it’s interesting rewatching Naruto as an adult and seeing my “peers” when they were younger. I remember thinking that 12 & 13 year olds were badass and cool and practically ready for the real world (I was like 8 or 9 when I first started watching leave me alone), and being amazed at stuff like the chunin exams. Nowadays my brain just kinda goes “why are we letting these CHILDREN go to war???” It’s a similar story with like the sensei. Thinking they’re so experienced and old and… now I’m the same age as them and I’m still young!!

4. Might Gai is Cringe and I Love Him For That

The way I didn’t appreciate this man when I was a kid is a CRIME. Teaching his students (and friends) that it’s important to find joy in life is SO IMPORTANT and Gai just does an EXCELLENT job with that!! He strives to be a source of light for the people in his life, and to show others it’s important to smile and laugh from time to time. It warms my cold dead grownup heart what can I say. There’s a line in OG Naruto after Lee beats Sasuke in their fight before the chunin exams, where Naruto turns to Sasuke and Sakura as their cringing at Lee and Gai and says, “actually, it’s kinda sweet how they’re all hugging and stuff!” And that kinda summarizes my thoughts on them.

TLDR Might Gai is cringe but he is free and I love him so much for that.

5. Seeing Myself in Characters I Didn’t Before

Off the top of my head, the three characters I see myself in more so now than when I was younger is definitely Choji, Lee, and Tenten.

I was never popular growing up, especially when I moved back to the US after living in Cuba. Kids just didn’t wanna play with me or have me on their sports teams, so I was purposefully left out oftentimes, kinda like how choji was when he was younger. Rewatching that part made me cry honestly HAHA I saw myself so clearly. I’m also plus size so the beauty standards he has to deal with really speak to me. I remember Shikamaru telling him one time that girls don’t have to be skinny to be pretty and I would be lying if that didn’t give me a huge amount of confidence in myself.

Rock Lee’s story has always been top notch, but as someone who chose to specialize in a path that I didn’t really have natural talent for myself it REALLY speaks to me now. I’ll be 100% honest, I was never really one of those “been drawing since I could hold a pencil” kind of kids. I liked it, but I didn’t really consider myself any good until like 8th grade or so. Anyway, there’s this scene where Lee is crying at the training grounds cuz he’s scared that, no matter how hard he works, it’ll all be for nothing and that he’ll always be a loser, and uh… had to turn the show off cuz that struck WAAAAAAAY too close to home for me as an artist with a… let’s be real, a failing art business. Anyway, he inspires me though to keep going cuz this is what brings me joy. I may take longer than most, but that doesn’t mean I’m less of a person for it.

Tenten I’ve honestly seen a lot of myself in even when I was younger! But there’s this filler episode that goes into detail on how she tried really hard to be just like Tsunade, since that was her dream since she was little. Turns out she doesn’t have the capacity to do that (not being able to do medical ninjutsu well, etc), but she finds her own strengths along the way. What really spoke to me was letting go of your childhood dreams. It’s hard. It feels like you’re failing in a way. But Tenten was able to persevere and find a new and even better path forward for herself. And that’s just amazing. I love seeing that, and it helps me feel as if I too and maybe find my path.

6. Final Thoughts and Random Little Things

I think it’s also safe to say that I can pick up on story flaws (I’m looking at you 4th great ninja war arc) and inconsistencies (how the heck does the hyuga clan work wtf). It’s a long series and nowadays you can binge the whole thing in one sitting (I don’t recommend that please take care of yourself). Back in my day I had to wait a whole week to watch the next 26 minute episode with commercials in between. Also I was a kid. AHAHA!! But again, long series, so I’m sure Kishi forgot about certain details while he was being pushed to continue the series.

Also my views on certain things that happened in the series changed based on what I know what happens later, which I find to be quite fun!

Overall I still enjoy the series, both for similar reasons as I did back in the day (Neji) and for new reasons!! Flaws and all. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

[punkxcalibur]

personal mphfpc recap since i finally finished reading all the books

spoilers for the entire mphfpc series ahead. this will mostly be me talking about the book's imperfections, because when i love a piece of media, i also love criticizing it to its core

so, i first read the books 1-4 in 2020 and i was SO obsessed!!?? i wasn't really into social media and fandom culture back then, so i didn't really have anyone to talk to about mphfpc and i remember being very sad about that. i also remember trying to make fanart of the characters, but i REALLY sucked at art back then and to this day i find old mphfpc drawings and cringe at them. maybe it's time to redraw some of those...

anyways, i read the fifth book when it first came out in germany and i kind of hated it lol. i was really rushing through it, because i couldn't wait for the fugh reunion. so i kind of missed out on the whole plot because i only cared about fiona and hugh.

basically, i recently finished rereading the books, because nostalgia or whatever and i'm kind of obsessed again. so...i'm just dumping some thoughts on the whole series here because on tumblr i can actually find ppl with mutual interests.

first of all there's literally SO MANY inconsistencies and plotholes?? what the actual fuck ransom riggs. idk how much of this is prevalent in the og books, because i mainly read the german translations, but sometimes riggs just forgets who hugh is i guess?? he mixes up his and horace's peculiarities once and at some point he is referred to as howard. who the fuck is howard. these are literally the most easiest mistakes to fix. does he not have an editor?

i'm not even gonna talk about the movie. i have a whole seperate post for it

it sometimes bothers me how only certain characters seem to serve a purpose. in every novel emma, enoch, millard and bronwyn are clearly the focus (besides jacob) despite the fact that the other characters are equally interesting and likeable. hugh, horace, claire, olive and obviously fiona are just NOT THERE for like the entirety of AMOD. are you kidding me

the entire second trilogy...is kind of a cashgrab. of course i'm happy we got more books and i liked them, but it's kind of obvious that the author simply had some pictures left and saw an opportunity to make some more profit out of them. that's not bad, but these books weren't necessary for the overall storyline.

the thing with the prophecy in DODA...the entire book was dedicated to finding the other lighteaters, but they don't really do anything in the end?? i kinda get why noor has to be the *main character*, but why introduce julius and sebbie when everything could have played out the same way without them?

julius and horace...is it really that hard to age julius down? it would've made that a lot less creepy. there is literally no reason for julius to so much older than horace. not sure if this could be considered queerbaiting, since i don't know a lot about that topic. would be grateful if anyone elaborated more on that.

hugh and fiona are still my favorite thing about these books THEY ARE PERFECT IN EVERY WAY AND DESERVED SO MANY MORE SCENES UGH. i don't need another jemma kiss i need FUGH. there is just so much potential and plus, we never really get to learn about their backstories?? like we know that they're from the 1840s, so how did they get into a loop a century later?

how was fiona able to *whisper* to hugh in DODA, she literally had her tongue cut out, hello?

so many characters with lots of potential either die or just disappear. lilly, sam, althea, peter-and-joel...ring any bells??

why is horatio kinda

ok i'm sorry

the photos are so funny sometimes, because at times there will be a photo of, say, emma and in the next book there will be another picture of her and she just looks like a different person. because,obviously, that's a photo of a different person. but apparently, ransom thinks we're too dumb to notice that.

i would just love it if there'd be storylines that focused on each character individually, because again, WASTED POTENTIAL

ricky deserved to have a comeback, i feel like this is general fandom consensus

introducing v, just to kill her off? idk man

despite all of these criticisms i just made, i fucking cherish these books

since pjo gets a new awesome reboot i think we deserve one too

i also wish the fandom was bigger but maybe it's a good thing that it's kind of niche. i don't know.

uhh i guess that was my not-so-little rant and yeah...enjoy this post i guess

[ask-bakabakabaka]

Rebranding this blog!!

Hello, 766 followers, many of whom are probably dead, inactive, or bots!! PSA to unfollow me now if you don't know me (Bunny) because I doubt you've been following this blog for the Touhou reactions, which I haven't drawn in like 8 years! ^^

I've been alive for all this time 'cuz this is my main, and I've been using this blog to like posts and interact with people occasionally, but I realized I can rebrand this account instead of being permanently tied to my 8+ year old art and (outdated but still kinda the same) sense of humor. Therefore, I will be doing that! I already have an art account I post art to, so I'm not replacing that one, but I'm probably going to become a Triple Baka (ask) account! (They apparently still have ask accounts in 2024 but I'm gonna go all in on a new one now!!) Essentially I'm becoming a Vocaloid/UTAU (SynthV)/Fanloid account. You're absolutely encouraged to unfollow me if you have no interest in Vocaloid and the like!

The transition will be a slow one but I wanted to announce it. I'm slowly gonna replace things with Triple Baka and my own art, but I will not be deleting old posts! This will still be an archive for my old touhoureactions stuff (cringe as it is rofl) because I don't really believe in deleting things. Someone kind even sent me an ask saying "thank you for not nuking this blog/keeping it up" and it's really sweet that someone said that to me lol.

As for why I'm transitioning to Vocaloid, it's obvious: I love it. I've loved Vocaloid for a long time (since 2012/2013) and recently I've come back to it-- I'll happily use my knowledge, reignited love, and improved art skills to make the Triple Baka ask blog of my dreams lol.

Touhou was a big part of my life and I still like it, but I've already slowly and steadily let Vocaloid (and SynthV) take the fore because of how happy it's been making me. I love Miku, Teto, and Neru a lot; in fact, I was rereading incredibly old posts of mine dating back to like 2013/2014 and I smiled at how I used to roleplay Teto and Neru-- it shows to me clearly how I portrayed and saw them. And now I love them a lot again now.

No idea if anyone will read this far, but before I fully transition, I will be answering all old asks sent to this account (I have about 40). Not gonna spam it, maybe I'll queue it, but I'll answer your ask after all these years with my new and less sloppy art lol, so that your ask isn't forever unanswered even as I change into a Vocaloid/UTAUloid/Fanloid blog. Even if the original asker/anon isn't around to see it, I'm gonna do that for the sake of completion. Please don't send any new Touhou asks, haha, 'cuz I'm only clearing up old ones, not trying to have new ones. Tbh, I actually have another duo that I love with my whole heart (Raccoon and Fennec from Kemono Friends) who I even gave their own blog, but hahaha, I wonder about making an askblog for them... They already have one so either I should revive it or I'll have them appear as cameos-- that's if anyone is interested in sending me asks at all for this blog's new intended purpose. xD I guess it's better if I stick to Vocaloid/etc. because that's the long-time interest I want to keep up/continue, whereas my love for Raccoon and Fennec has always felt like me trying to cling to the past, even though I still (today) love them with my entire being. I'll just draw those two in my art blog and accept requests/etc. either there or here when it comes to those two. They're my special little goobers (peanuts).

Anyway, everything I do is totally self-indulgent and for fun, and I wanted to mark this transition properly and see if I can reduce my follower count by like 700. xD The only reason it got that high is 'cuz this is my MAIN-main account and I've had it for almost 10 years.

I'm switching from Touhou (an old love of mine) to Vocaloid-UTAU (another old love of mine but more recent). Specifically for Triple Baka: Teto, Miku, and Neru. I'll make profiles and an explanation and stuff of them soon, but you may start thinking of things to send if you want (I ship Teto and Miku btw, same age ranges ofc, so you should also unfollow me if you don't vibe with that 'cuz it'll probably crop up...).

It's been a good run and I'll keep and preserve everything here, but I'm becoming a different beast! I hope to keep at it for a long time! <3 This is still my MAIN-main, so you're always welcome to follow me/stay mutuals if you know me and wanna still stay buddies (I won't spam the timeline btw, I'll probably maybe queue like posts for one or two a day, if I'm that active), but yeah~. It's the end of an era and a transition to a new one! I'm excited tbh! But it will take time. ( uwu ) c:

Btw, I went through all my old posts (there aren't a ton so it doesn't take that long) and I cringed slightly at some of my humor but it did make me break into laughter a couple of times. Mainly because it's the old me I'm reacting to and I'm always like, "there's something wrong with her (affectionate)" whenever I see something that I know I probably (definitely) wouldn't say today. xD In many ways, I've changed from my old self, but I still try to stay friendly and kind, so if anything I made is offensive in any way, that totally wasn't intended! Offending people isn't really part of my sense of humor, so take everything I ever said/made in this blog with a grain of salt/older eyeglasses.

Newer me is cooler imo (the light in my eyes isn't gone yet even though not everything has been fun lmao) and I'm also more careful about the jokes I make, so know that I probably won't make any suggestive/risque jokes at all unless I find it SUPER funny and I can't resist. I doubt there will be any instances of that, but I'm just talking briefly about what to expect for the future.

I'll talk more about it later! For now, I'm gonna slowly go through all my old asks, which will probably definitely take longer than a week. Thanks for all the people who were with me on my journey, if they remember me, and thanks for the fun times! I really did have fun, so I look at this with fondness (even if I do cringe slightly ahaha).

It's okay to be cringe. 😂😂😂😂

[storiesofsvu]

https://www.tumblr.com/storiesofsvu/756561724151414784/ask-game-for-fanfic-writers

How about every integer of 10? 🙏🫡

10,20,30,40,50,60,70,80,90,100

(or less if that's too much)

ooo bless!

10. at what point in the process do you come up with titles and how easy or hard is that for you?

fuck. i HATE titles. 99% of the time it's the very last thing I do and half the time i forget about it until i open tumblr to make the post. For one shots i generally read through it again and pick a phrase or repeating word and use that. For series: i'll usually pop onto discord with a brief summary and ask if ppl have ideas, otherwise i have a note in my phone of potential titles that are generally song titles or lyrics. i like my series titles to actually mean something and tie into the story whereas i dont give a fuck about the one shots LOL

20. what is your favourite trope to write?

forbidden love? we're gonna pretend that's a thing lol. like, stories have to have conflict and what's better than two people who wanna fuck/date/whatever and either can't or shouldn't, or like, their bosses would frown upon it, right? like, any and all degree of it, not particularly totally forbidden.

30. most inspirational quote you've ever read or heard that's still important to you.

christ. i cannot think of anything rn. My mind went straight to disney because there are so many things that light up my passion/motivation. the last time we were there we saw the "new" (lol) fireworks show and it had this little speech that was all "no go, let your dreams guide you, reach out and find your happily ever after" and it was kinda the resurge i needed at the time to be all "oh fuck, that's right, i just need to focus" as the old fireworks show had a bit that i like, wished on every fucking night and always made me cry about cause of how i related to it. wow i'm SO cool HA.

in high school (performing arts) certain people got to sign the theatre crossover wall at graduation and i got to and i singed it with a Fosse quote but i cannot remember it anymore for the life of me loll

40. best piece of feedback you've ever gotten?

bruh ive got no clue. i dont get/ask for feedback basically ever. esp recently people have been more just "omg so good" or "next part??" uhh... yeah, i dont think anyone ever has minus like a comment here and there with a friend when spitballing and i have a goldfish brain so i cannot remember.

50. do you plan or do you write whatever comes to your mind?

bit of both! for one shots it's usually just the prompt i was given/found and MAYBE a bit of a blurb scenario.

series: i will not start until i have a much more detailed outline and a rough idea of how it's going to end. nothing is specifically labelled and as i work on the story the outline gets longer, more fleshed out, sometimes there's full conversations or smut pieces in the outline and eventually ch's get labelled and sometimes it's like "ch 4, they go to this hotel and fuck" lol

60. where is the most dangerous place that you're written fic?

work. was stuck in the bar (that guests dont have access to) during service time with nothing else to do. my manager literally came in and teased me about not working and then later asked what i was working on and i said "fanfic, but that's all i'm telling you cause a lot o its real gay and real dirty" LOL

70. are you ever critical of your own writing? how much do you find yourself editing (either during or after the fact?)

i'm SO critical, but it's like, when i'm rereading it months down the road and it's been posted and too late to edit LOL. and it's mainly me just looking at old works that are SO trope filled and slightly cringe and include lot of the stuff that i no longer write.

I don't edit too much at all lol. I'll catch most typos or grammar while going/on a brief read through but it's VERY rare i'll actually go back to edit a full passage the next day or anything. Hence my very detailed outlines! i will edit from there to the fic cause i'll add to the outlines whenever something sparks in my brain and i know its good lol.

80. do you try to put themes, motifs, messages, morals, etc in your writing?

uhh... no? LOL. sometimes i do, and sometimes they just end up there completely by accident.

90. do you notice your own voice in your writing style?

absolutely. why do you think there's so much profanity? LOL. but also as someone who writes mainly reader insert, there is a little bit of me in every yn i write

thanks for asking!! <3 (and that's never too much lol)

[marley-manson]

4, 13, 21, 23 💖

Thank you!

4. say something nice about a ship you don’t ship (it can be another ship in your fandom, a mutual’s OTP, etc)

BJ/Trapper has a lot of good potential for psychosexual shennanigans and weirdness and character exploration, and I respect the hustle.

13. your favorite type of fandom event (gift exchange, ship week, secret santa, prompt meme, etc)

Kink memes, miss their ubiquitousness every day. I appreciate kink-centric exchanges and month-long prompt lists etc too. And I have a lot of fondness for Yuletide, for being the main reason a lot of random kinda gay classic movies I've seen have 1 or 2 shockingly good fics. These are all as a reader, not a writer, because as a writer I have no favourite fandom events, I hate deadlines lol. I've participated in like 3 as a meta writer, a fic writer, and a vidder, and it's cool and I dig the events for existing, but creating with a deadline will never be my favourite thing.

21. a fandom you’re not active in anymore but that you still really like

Due South is the first that springs to mind. It's an old fandom but I'm still always down to occasionally reread fic, or gush about my faves. But also generally I'm still fond of all my old fandoms. I never look back on something I once enjoyed with anything but positive feelings, even if it's not my thing now, or it's soured for outside reasons. Like eg Harry Potter is a minefield of JKR's immense bigotry, the series itself being fundamentally flawed (and just plain annoying lol) in many ways, most old BNFs I used to like showing their asses, etc, but it was a great time when I was a kid and I have no regrets. I don't look back and cringe at myself or anything like that, I just look back with fondness.

23. the fandom you’re curious about because of a mutual

Answered! I wish I could add another one but lol there's nothing I'm really looking into right now fandom-wise.

ask meme

[fortheloveofexy]

22 29 and 30!!! (@stabbyfoxandrew)

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

lol how about every single fic I've ever written? I wish I were joking but I'm not, I can't reread my own fics once they're up on AO3. The Artist!Neil AU and The Marks We Make are both especially cringey to me now (especially the art in the Artist!Neil AU. If the fic itself didn't make me cringe to my core, I'd redo all the art from scratch).

29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

Hmmmm I think maybe Coffee & Cat Dads? But really I'm quite happy with the amount of love my fics get, it's not something I really think about too much.

30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

Call Me By Your Name. I have never understood why this one got so much love out of all my other drabbles and one shots. I'm happy people like it of course, but it just seems pretty blah to me now, even though it's still one of my highest kudos'd fics and has a lot of hits. (I also roll my eyes at the entirety of the Artist!Neil AU, but that's just the cringe talking.)

[thebestofoneshots]

Hey! i’ve started posting to my own page, and i just really wanted to know, how you got into writing and how you kinda found your style? did it just naturally come to you? :3

- Luster 💫

Hey Luster (wonderful name by the way)! I didn't even know I had a writing style of my own but I suppose it's kind of like artists right? They have their own little signature drawings and we have our own little signature words? (I mean I guess I'm somewhat on the light and funny side? Little bit of angst thrown into the mix? this sounds like a supernatural episode lol)

I suppose it really did just naturally come to me, but that's precisely where a lot of reading and writing comes along, you see I've been writing since I was like 10 (I do cringe at some of my old stuff), and then I've been writing fanfics since I was like 11 or 12. But I've also been reading fanfics since then, so I assume a lot of my style was derived from that at the beginning.

Like if I think about it... Remember when we used to have the writer but in the story with dialogue straight towards the characters, like some weird omnipotent god?(I used to do that shit, bro, I'm telling you the cringe).

But also, we all have to start somewhere, right? And the more you write, the more natural it becomes to find the right words to put into text the daydreams in your head; It also becomes a lot easier.

Nowadays, I read a lot of stuff that I think will improve my vocabulary and descriptions. Some fanfiction writers are basically poets on this site, and I do lean to their stuff a little bit because that's how I want to write in the future. So, I read and analyse the way they use words to be able to improve (I even have a note in my notes app with several words that I find interesting or useful for certain descriptions).

I've also been rereading some of the good old classics, things like The Portrait of Dorian Grey. Oscar Wilde has a masterful way with words and I also want to be able to use them in the way he does.

So yeah, I'd say just read a lot of stuff that you like, and when you think something sounds good, write it down, you may be able to use it later down the road (of course don't straight up copy and paste stuff, that's plagiarism).

Hope you find this useful, I wish you lots of luck on your new writing journey, and if you ever wanna discuss writing, my DMs and asks are always open.

[shiny-jr]

Hello shiny! I just got finished reading Imposter AU and it was MAGA SO GOOD With every chapter of each dorm!!(i actually gonna skip a few of em but turns out I read all of em lol)

I been follow you since leech twins work and I'm so glad I meet your fiction 2 years back ago because all your work are amazing! :))💖💖

Btw I like your Rollo sketch!! You draw him turn out so good :DD

- 💜 anon

I wanted to make two big posts mainly for the people who want to reread all the parts or new readers. One with Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, and Octavienlle parts and the second post with Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, and Diasomnia, but Tumblr said no and kept deleting the draft so I guess that's not happening.

Anyways, kinda embarrassed to hear that you read my old twst stuff. Most of it was pure cringe. But thank you for taking an interest in my works for so long! I'm also still making Rollo doodles and sketches, so I'll probably put those up later.

[madangel19]

Ghost Mutuals Tag Game 🦇 Send this to the last ten Ghesties in your notifications, then reply here with ten facts about yourself! Let's get to know each other!

Yay! Thanks for sending this in!

I really got into Ghost late last year, but ever since 2016/2017, I saw them all over tumblr and didn't get into them until 2022. I liked the vibes but didn't start listening until later.

I have 10 Ghost shirts so far and I'm pretty sure there will be more in the future

I started my tumblr 8 years ago but it feels longer than that lol. My blog is a whole mess of whatever I'm hyperfixating on at the moment.

I had a RP sideblog, but I ended up deleting it because I got stalkers -_-

I have family in China and I've been there several times. It's very hot and crowded

Growing up, I did a lot of swimming year-round so I love swimming. You can't keep me out of the water lol. I'll swim around in the ocean for hours while my friends and family stay on the beach

I haven't been to an actual concert yet, but I want my first one to be Ghost

My love for writing started in middle school when I took a creative writing class. I started writing an original story before I moved to fanfiction. That original story is now long gone ( it was kinda cringe when I reread it years ago and I tossed it into the trash)

I tried lucid dreaming once and had to stop when I could feel my body going numb. It was scary :'D

I have been single as a pringle my whole life (mostly because I'm too busy for dating) but I want to change it soon

[lennjamin-o7]

Ahhh the new chapter is so good!!!! Loved seeing Schlatt, Fundy,Puffy, and KRISTIN but also the trial scenes!!!! I've never been so happy at a character's misfortune. AND WHEN MIELLE TRIED TO SWAP SPOTS SJDJDHDHD

"pigs will fly" hehe

"Actually, not even just his studies! It doesn’t matter what it is, he gives it his all.”" that's kinda swee- "Honestly, if he didn’t work so hard, he would be completely worthless.”" i take it back.

And "wanting the moment to last. He didn’t want it to be torn away by some interruption, someone demanding Phil’s attention with a more important reason than just Techno" i sense some trauma.

And phil i know you want revenge but comfort techno please,my dude is suffering. Also love the fae's giving Mielle a reality check,like i understand she's a product of her environment but dear lord i want to punt her a new one.

""“Wait-you-” Technoblade tried to pull away" it was at this moment he knew he fucked up

"She held out her hands and Philza gracefully landed on her palm" now i can hear is giant woman lol

"“He had given me thanks. He had eaten our food. He had accepted my gifts,” Philza answered. The shadows in the forest seemed to lengthen, darken, quicken. Shivering and whispering in displeasure, a growing mantra of injustice’s payment and the consequences of actions taken in ignorance." Kick their ass's Kristin!!!

-🥔🐢

I hadn't intended to add anymore characters when I first wrote this, in all honestly. But those guys popped out of nowhere and decided "nah, we are here now" lol. It worked out great! And its a nice little nod.

I cringed do hard writing Mielle's incredibly backhanded compliment. Its such a bitch thing to say. I'm not sure if a real person would ever have the balls to say that to someone but hot dang did that one sizzle. Oof, rereading that made me want to change the ending a bit.

Techno is so small and so alone. He is a little bit traumatized, yeah.

She deserves a bit of punting. Everyone is a product of their environment. The most jerky IRL person you ever met was a product of their environment. It doesn't stop them from being an ass.

SHE BIG! SHE SO BIG! I LOVE BIG KRISTIN!!!

Kristin is NOT happy. Not at all. That was HER sonboy. Get fucked, royals!

[thebreakfastgenie]

✨🦋 (also 💜💜💜💜)

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

The Emergency Room. It's the work I'm proudest of (although I reread it recently and I was kinda critical... that's just me being me 🤪). I just have a lot of feelings about the scene in the car. And for a MASH fic, I guess maybe hills like white elephants. But really any of them lol I crave talking about any of these because writing another one is taking so damn long!

🦋what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

You know, I'm not sure. I don't really feel insecure when I post fics. I mean, I do, but I've developed such a defense for it that I don't anymore. That makes no sense. I guess I'm always worried about embarrassing mistakes and typos, or that it's bad in some way, that the prose will make me cringe or the characterization is off. But I guess the most honest answer is my own reputation. I adore my friend who gas me up and say "oh, I can't wait to read it, I know it'll be amazing because it's you!" It feels good! But expectations make me so nervous. I know not everything I write is as good as what I've written before, and I always strive for it to be better. Like, maybe this one won't be good! I don't want to disappoint!!

[pink-booty-butts]

🍥🍙🍠🍱

Btw, you're absolutely incredible!! You write my favourite fanfics and I appreciate you and your friendship so much! You deserve so so much appreciation ♥

Omg Mari you're the sweetest!! thank you so much!! I appreciate you and our friendship so much too!! I am hugging you mentally rn <33

🍥 What's your favorite fic you've written?

Omg this is such a hard one! I feel like my favorite fic is always the one I'm currently writing haha (which rn is a william fic that's taking me ages lol).

But if I had to pick from ones I've already posted, probably Pranked! Normally I try to think more about what other people would want to read, or I try to think a lot about how to make the Reader more relatable to people besides me so people can insert themselves more easily(btw idk if i'm successful, but i always try my best to consider these things!). But for that fic I threw all of that out the window and basically just wrote it for myself haha :P

🍙 Is there a fic you wish had gotten more attention?

If I had to pick one, probably Say Yes!

Honestly, I don't think it's my best work so I'm not upset about it. I think I'm only slightly disappointed because I wrote that fic when I was having some feelings™ and at the time I kinda wanted someone to support me like Chris does in that fic and thought maybe other people would too, but I think it was probably too depressing haha.

Also it probably didn't get as much attention because I don't write him in character well enough, so I probably need to watch Spy again so I can write better fics about him for you guys!! <33

🍠 How long does it take you to write one of your fics or a chapter/part?

Ooooooh man not to be basic, but it depends! If I'm super duper focused I can bang out a fic from blank page to edited and posted in a couple of hours.

But unfortunately I'm a super restless/hyper person irl, I feel the need to get up and lowkey run a lap around my house like every 10 minutes so sometimes it takes a lot longer than that, and because of that it's really hard to give an accurate number of how long it actually takes me to write something sadly! (Maybe I should try timing myself when I'm actively writing bc I'm kinda curious now lol) With the fic I'm currently writing, I swear it took me like 5 hours to write a single paragraph cos I couldn't sit still hahahaha. I kinda wish I wasn't like that so I could get more fics written for you guys, but on the bright side I always get my steps in! :p

🍱 Do you read your own fics?

NO NEVER EW LOL, literally cringe every time I've reread one of my fics

Lmao jk! Tbh I do sometimes reread them when I'm writing a fic for a particular character and I want to check if I've written something similar already because I worry about my fics being too similar to each other. I know to some extent it's probably inevitable because I'm writing them, but I do sometimes skim over previous fics to check I'm not writing the same exact scenario or using the same language or words to describe something. I still cringe when I do that, but I suffer through it to make the fic I'm writing at that time better (hopefully) haha

Thank you so much for your questions btw!! <3 You're the best!!

[falsebooles123]

New Year New Queer - Diary of a Big Ole Gay 1/1/2023

Hey Whores, You know what time it is. Thats rights sluts and slanterns its time to regale you with tales of gay but before that daddys sad and instead of giving you cummies or some gay shit like that he wants emotional validation.

(if one of my mutuals could just shove my face in there tits and stroke my hair thanks)

so um yeah basically I hate my job and I go to look at the fucking hours I get to work this week, and I'm screduled for four hours.

FOUR FUCKING HOURS.

there is in fact never a time and place were that is appropriate especially when this is not something that was forwarned.

the good news is that I'm gonna use my freetime to canvess the shit out of town and get myself a new fucking job. I don't deserve this shit and I deserve better. of course I still need to reread my employee contract because guess what dumb bitch signed a non-competition clause.

(this is what pops up when I type "It's Me!" so apparently I'm Henry Cavell. and I thought I couldn't get sexier)

in other news and entertainement I have finally recieved my self christmas presents which are Hollywood Babylon and The Celluloid Closet at this point I really fucking miss working at any my fucking other jobs because It is amazing how boring people are. like people look me in the face and tell me they go home and do nothing and dream about nothing, and have no ambition. That the world they see is colorless and joyless. that they crave no more simulation then through the bars of there cage.

Disgusting, I yearn to be free of the things that limit me to never loose my curiousity to do things because I can, to learn things because I can, to remember that while Nitcze was a total fucking incel and loser that there is a kernal of truth in "Saying Yes to yourself, instead of no to others". I've been feeling really limited in this job and its hard, hard to swallow my pride, to make myself small, to feel that I am only as valuable as the space I occupy and not the being that I am.

I am better then that job not because I am over-qualified, or that it is "Beneath Me". I am better then that job because the job asks me to be less then my potential and I refuse that mantle.

Oh wait isn't this shit supposed to be about movies or something lol oopsie.

Club De Femmes (1936) dir. Jacques Deval

from what I vaguley remember this french film was censored in america for being too risque and honestly I get it. This movie has a lot of fan-service, wear talking a lot of women walking around in the sluttiest outfits 1930s had to offer, (yes god yes), were talking men dressing up as women to FUCK, were talking human trafficking, were talking MURDER, were talking REAL LIFE LESBIANS.

(I was trying to find that clip from Cringe were she says the line but this will do.)

yeah this film has a lot going on and also it has like a bonified lesbian subplot shes not predatory, (at least by the usually standard), and out of all the gay films I've seen so far the character has this kind of internality, (is that the word interiorality???), that I have yet to see in a lot of these films besides mommy kink megee in Madchen In Uniform.

The Lady Vanishes (1938) dir Alfred Hitchcock.

so as has been established Hitchcock kinda just liked gay shit in his films. in this case some people have read Cadicott and Codswallop or whatever the fuck there names are as just sucking and fucking all the time as a gay couple.

This is a little teneous but it is a cute headcannon even if the actually film is light on subtext.

Speaking of which this is basically like if an agatha christie novel met a Mrs. Pollifax Novel so you know I loved that shit.

Rebecca (1940) dir Alfred Hitchcock

UGGGGGGH Laurence Oliver can fuck me right in the BUSSY. I just wanted get fucked and sucked by both of them they are so fucking hot.

So if you don't know why this is on the list. First go watch it we love it we stan, we have watched several very long podcast episodes devoted to how much the queens and the queers love rebecca.

Second Lets talk about mrs Danvers. Shes serving us a little school marm ala Madchen in Uniform and she is just horrible fond of the epoynmous Rebecca. And by fond I mean gay. and by gay I mean just that type of gay were your pratically co-dependant on your partner.

Yeah basically Rebecca was the type of bisexual demon that all those melodramas warned you about and Danvers was her SECRET LESBIAN LOVER!!!!!

Ben-Hur: A Tale of Christ (1925) dir. Fred Niblo

so Ben-Hur the OG, (I mean theres a short from 1907 but shut your whore mouth), is part of a growing list of films called, "The researchers personal bias read a lot of gay subtext into this film and/or they just wanted to fuck the cast". I of course am above said bias and yes I am about to publish my thesis on how the shark from jaws was a metaphor about how badly those three men wanted to fuck each other.

(there gays harold)

The researcher in question is our favorite gayboy Vito Russo who listed this as part of the filmography segement in his book the Celleloid Closet. I have yet to read The Celleloid Closet as I am still reading Hollywood Babylon but its next on my list so I will see if I can find better context for why Russo included it in his film list.

The reason why Vito Russo included this is that this film does contain a mans bare ass chained to a wall. Do we see this man elsewear, is he eroticized in his torture like in UN chant d'amour. .... no.

its just a naked guy and while I will say there is a little homoerotic tension between masalla and ben-hur and a lot of male nudity this film is pretty straight. Like objectively a cool film and a silent fim classic. but its not incredible queer.

(I didn't technically need to show you some ass but I just wanted an excuse to stare at a hot guy in the shower. because I'm a pervert you get it)

Whats The World Coming To? (1926) dir. Richard Wallace, F. Richard Jones

so this is just a role reversal comedy set in the future and it was honestly a lot of fun. We have these really out there fashion choices that are both avant garde and weirdly dated and its just a really fun look at retro-futurism from an era we don't normally get to see.

In the future of course we all get around on blimps and work in the blimp factory and also the gender roles are reversed with butch strong women taking care of there domestic husbands.

( I literally typed in Girlboss X Malewife. but you know what I'll except it)

This film feels weirdly reminscent of Bunholdes Lover by Patience and Sullivan, likes its serving Savoy Opera Realness. Which is weird because I have never seen any opera let alone the specific 1890s sylings of the comic opera but something about the use of pantomime and the costuming feels incredible emblamatic of that theatrical tradition.

I thought this was a surprisingly fun time and I had a lot of fun with what is honestly a pretty fresh take on the role reversal comedy.

Going forward the rest of the role reversal comedies we have are going to be a little less joculer??. speaking of which tonights film is going to be Glen or Glenda? A Cult film shot in four days supposedly inspired by real life Transgendererererererererererererer, (i'm being playful), Christine Jorgensine, the G.I Bombshell. I here that its something else.