#i'm kinda cringing rereading this lol

[crehador]

COSMIC IS DEAD, LONG LIVE COSMIC!

it's official: i wrote a fic a day, every day, in 2024

that's right. 366 days (leap yeap) of samaichi. in a row. if it doesn't sound real well let me tell you. it feels pretty damn surreal to me too

i set this challenge for myself because one of my biggest weaknesses as a writer is actually finishing stuff. my past is littered with the corpses of countless wips, and while i've gotten a bit better about finishing things in recent years, i still needed some major work in that department

so the idea for dailies was born. the idea was, specifically, for drabble-esque dailies. all samaichi, all around 100-300 words but definitely under 500 words each. like a writing warm-up, essentially, before working on other things

which... um......

yeah, so that didn't end up happening. the all samaichi part is the only bit i stuck to lol

only 9 of 366 works actually wound up being under 500 words, and 7 of those 9 were in january when i guess i was still at least kinda-sorta trying to stick to my original intentions

suffice it to say there was no work done on other things. [redacted] au my beloved stalled at around 20k words back in 2023 and has been untouched ever since

i do sort of wish i'd worked on longer projects this year (though thirteen rooms au clocked in at 57k and the one with the clones is approaching 50k too so... there wasn't nothing in the longer projects department) but overall i'm pretty damn proud of myself for seeing this through

the goal for next year! is of course to actually work on the longfics that have been simmering for all this time

i also want to challenge myself to work on another of my weaknesses as a writer: reading my own work

like listen i know it's a bad habit/trait to talk shit about your own work, and much like finishing things, i think i've gotten better about that in recent years. but i'm still ass at rereading my own writing without cringing myself half to death

so that's the project (or one of the projects) for next year! now that i've written a fic a day, i can read a fic a day next year (and two on one day because it is. no longer a leap yeap lol)

i may even read and pick out one thing i like about what i wrote. because pride in moderation is a skill worth learning i think

and because i can't stand to lose dailies entirely, i also want to go into next year with the resolution of posting very very short not!fics and hcs every day

(i really mean it this time. short. short! i swear! they will be ramuda-sized)

most likely i will sort my 2025 samaichi nonsense, of which there will be lots, into one tag (have not yet decided what this tag will be) so it will be easily searchable and mutable. well. searchable in theory. but this is tumblr dot com

to sum up. proud of myself. bit in disbelief. happy with this. onwards to bigger things (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

[phyrestartr]

any tips for new writers

YUH BOI I have a lot lol

Write what you like. You will naturally put more effort/passion into something you're writing for yourself/smth you're writing for fun. Don't do it for clout, and don't write JUST to post. Also, don't write things just because ppl tell you to/request you to. Itsk to let stories perish if they're not working/you don't like it (you might figure out a way to save said story after some thinking, too)

If you read a fanfic/book and really like it, try to figure out why it spoke to you. Did you like the dialogue? Did you like the descriptions? Did you like the stylization? Then, try to incorporate that into your own writing in your own way

If you read a fanfic/book and you really DON'T like it, try to identify what you didn't like LOL. It really helps with crafting your style/story if you identify and avoid shite you personally think is cringe/uninteresting/overdone/cliche-y in a bad way/etc.

Accept that first draft is gonna be clunky and probably kinda bad. You pretty much just gotta get the story down even if it doesn't flow too good because then you can go back, reread, figure out what does and doesn't work in terms of prose and flow and character interactions

Don't feel like you need to write something super long and detailed. Detail and flowery descriptions are good when used in the correct moments, but don't harp on something meaningless for too long if it's not really important in the theme/moment. Writing short stories is the most fun and the best practice for getting into writing since it just has to be like one scene or a very short arc before ending. Lots of readers like the long fics (I mean, same) but they're really hard to write, so don't feel like you need to write a novel or anything. keep it short and sweet for a while!!

Use a thesaurus. Helps you learn new words and new ways to describe something

Themes are helpful for keeping a story feeling coherent. Ex. I use lots of 'godly' descriptors and comparisons of natural disasters (storms, forest fires, earthquakes, tsunamis) to describe how dangerous/powerful a person or feeling is, and I try to stay in that theme to build a better picture of someone/something

Show, don't tell! This is kinda based on your preference, though, since sometimes you just wanna say "bro was mad." It depends on the situation imo. Generally, describing the way someone is physically feeling instead of emotionally is more impactful and lets the reader think and make choices based on the info you've given them. Not everything needs to be spelled out--readers are quite smart and can put together their own conclusions even if it's not what the writer initially had in mind. (Ex. "John felt fury boil in his blood" vs "John's veins ached with heat and his face flushed an angry colour")

It's ok to make mistakes/not perfect a scene. Sometimes you just wanna move on lol

Have fun! If you're not having fun, what's the point homie u-u

hope that's at least a little helpful! LMK if y'all have any other questions/specific Qs or anything. I'm not a pro writer so maybe this is all useless idk LOL

[chrimsonfoxdon]

Ooh question, you mentioned rewatching as an adult, and I'm curious, what kinds of things do you view differently now? I'm rereading the manga after a long time too, and the big thing I'm noticing is that I have more compassion now, especially towards characters who I didn't realize reminded me of myself and not in the best ways 😂 And especially during part 1 I found myself wondering why we don't see their parents more often (for those who still have them) and who took care of them growing up (for the others).

I have felt similar!! Ok I’m gonna maybe list stuff out on what I’ve noticed I view differently.

Very long post under the cut of me rambling (again)!

1. My Opinion on What I Consider Good Media Has Changed

Starting with this one as I feel it’s a big overarching thing that’ll dictate all my other opinions and thoughts. I’ve watched, read, and listened to A LOT of other series and media since I first started watching Naruto (also you know life experience and such), so I have a better idea of what is “good” media and what is “bad.” When I was younger, I considered Naruto to be the best of the best, but I don’t think that now (as far as anime that title now goes to FMA:B it’s very good please watch it if you haven’t oh my god). It has a lot of flaws, some endearing and others… not so much. Granted that’s any piece of media. Nothing is perfect (not even FMA:B). But despite that, I’ve also learned that it’s ok to still enjoy it!! Imo it’s not all bad, I mean, we’re still here discussing it yea?

I guess the TLDR of this part is: it’s cringe but that’s ok cuz life is short and we should enjoy the stuff we like.

2. Female Characters/Feminism

I feel like, while these are different topics, they’re very linked together in how I watch Naruto now so I’m putting them together. When I was younger, I didn’t like really any of the female cast (except Tenten). I found them “annoying,” to put it simply. Sakura always chasing after Sasuke?? Lame. Ino being obsessed with her looks?? Shallow. Hinata losing to Neji? Weak. I began to think that I didn’t like those characters because I didn’t like female characters mostly as a whole (which is kinda hilarious cuz I did start making Chihiro back then who does in fact identify as a woman LOL!!). But this negative attitude towards female characters not only leaked into how I consumed other media, but how I saw myself and other women irl. Like I distinctly remember believing that a woman could never beat a guy in anything. Which is uh… not true!! And kinda fucked up!!!

Now that I’m older I just realize that kishimoto doesn’t know how to write women all that well. Imo, it’s not the girls’ faults, it’s their creator. Which is disappointing but also freeing almost?? Plus, I can now appreciate what good they do have to offer!! (I talked a little about the konoha 12 girls and what I like about them in this ask in case you’d like details on individual characters)

I think also being exposed to other fans with differing opinions and views has helped me with this as well. When I first started watching I didn’t really go online (wasn’t a thing in Cuba plus I wasn’t really interested), so I didn’t really have other perspectives to bounce off of.

Also wanted to add that there are definitely parts of the show I laughed off before but you know, just are not acceptable nowadays. Mainly thinking of Shikamaru talking down on girls/women, Neji made a rude comment about girls too (that Tenten corrected him on tho thank you queen), and some bits that could be perceived as a little transphobic (I’m not trans tho so I don’t wanna speak for them on that bit). Its viewpoints that I feel are a product of the time, but does not make the overall series bad per se.

3. Seeing Other Children as a Child VS as an Adult

Ngl since I grew up with Naruto, I feel as if I will always see them as my peers in a sense. If anything, almost like the “older kids” in school. Like I don’t know if this is a common perception, but I remember when I was like in 2nd grade I saw 6th graders as like tiny adults, but then when I was in 6th grade I saw 2nd graders as like babies. Does that make sense?? Anyway, it’s interesting rewatching Naruto as an adult and seeing my “peers” when they were younger. I remember thinking that 12 & 13 year olds were badass and cool and practically ready for the real world (I was like 8 or 9 when I first started watching leave me alone), and being amazed at stuff like the chunin exams. Nowadays my brain just kinda goes “why are we letting these CHILDREN go to war???” It’s a similar story with like the sensei. Thinking they’re so experienced and old and… now I’m the same age as them and I’m still young!!

4. Might Gai is Cringe and I Love Him For That

The way I didn’t appreciate this man when I was a kid is a CRIME. Teaching his students (and friends) that it’s important to find joy in life is SO IMPORTANT and Gai just does an EXCELLENT job with that!! He strives to be a source of light for the people in his life, and to show others it’s important to smile and laugh from time to time. It warms my cold dead grownup heart what can I say. There’s a line in OG Naruto after Lee beats Sasuke in their fight before the chunin exams, where Naruto turns to Sasuke and Sakura as their cringing at Lee and Gai and says, “actually, it’s kinda sweet how they’re all hugging and stuff!” And that kinda summarizes my thoughts on them.

TLDR Might Gai is cringe but he is free and I love him so much for that.

5. Seeing Myself in Characters I Didn’t Before

Off the top of my head, the three characters I see myself in more so now than when I was younger is definitely Choji, Lee, and Tenten.

I was never popular growing up, especially when I moved back to the US after living in Cuba. Kids just didn’t wanna play with me or have me on their sports teams, so I was purposefully left out oftentimes, kinda like how choji was when he was younger. Rewatching that part made me cry honestly HAHA I saw myself so clearly. I’m also plus size so the beauty standards he has to deal with really speak to me. I remember Shikamaru telling him one time that girls don’t have to be skinny to be pretty and I would be lying if that didn’t give me a huge amount of confidence in myself.

Rock Lee’s story has always been top notch, but as someone who chose to specialize in a path that I didn’t really have natural talent for myself it REALLY speaks to me now. I’ll be 100% honest, I was never really one of those “been drawing since I could hold a pencil” kind of kids. I liked it, but I didn’t really consider myself any good until like 8th grade or so. Anyway, there’s this scene where Lee is crying at the training grounds cuz he’s scared that, no matter how hard he works, it’ll all be for nothing and that he’ll always be a loser, and uh… had to turn the show off cuz that struck WAAAAAAAY too close to home for me as an artist with a… let’s be real, a failing art business. Anyway, he inspires me though to keep going cuz this is what brings me joy. I may take longer than most, but that doesn’t mean I’m less of a person for it.

Tenten I’ve honestly seen a lot of myself in even when I was younger! But there’s this filler episode that goes into detail on how she tried really hard to be just like Tsunade, since that was her dream since she was little. Turns out she doesn’t have the capacity to do that (not being able to do medical ninjutsu well, etc), but she finds her own strengths along the way. What really spoke to me was letting go of your childhood dreams. It’s hard. It feels like you’re failing in a way. But Tenten was able to persevere and find a new and even better path forward for herself. And that’s just amazing. I love seeing that, and it helps me feel as if I too and maybe find my path.

6. Final Thoughts and Random Little Things

I think it’s also safe to say that I can pick up on story flaws (I’m looking at you 4th great ninja war arc) and inconsistencies (how the heck does the hyuga clan work wtf). It’s a long series and nowadays you can binge the whole thing in one sitting (I don’t recommend that please take care of yourself). Back in my day I had to wait a whole week to watch the next 26 minute episode with commercials in between. Also I was a kid. AHAHA!! But again, long series, so I’m sure Kishi forgot about certain details while he was being pushed to continue the series.

Also my views on certain things that happened in the series changed based on what I know what happens later, which I find to be quite fun!

Overall I still enjoy the series, both for similar reasons as I did back in the day (Neji) and for new reasons!! Flaws and all. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

[ky-uwu]

defense {kyle broflowski x reader} {oneshot}

synopsis.

amidst the skankhunt42 events, you inadvertently get your crush kyle and close friend heidi together in an effort to separate her and cartman.

things get a little messy.

cw. harsh language, offensive insults

also cw: this kinda sucks LOL

everyone here is aged up to highschool, 15-16. i was gonna keep them in fourth but when i reread it it felt off idk. constructive criticism is welcome i will cry if ur mean to me tho

it was no secret that heidi's relationship with cartman was a toxic one.

you felt bad for her; you really did. you knew that her relationship with cartman was produced by her feelings of loneliness. you wanted to help her, but didn't really know how; the girls just ripped on her for dating the biggest dickhead in school, and offered no comfort.

you really knew it wasn't your place, but nothing you said to heidi got through to her. you figured the last thing you could do was talk to cartman's friends about the situation. of the group, you and kyle were the closest, and knew the rest in passing. you had developed a small crush on kyle as you spent time together studying before things got crazy. unfortunately you hadn't spoken to him recently. in spite of everything, you hoped at the very least kyle would hear you out.

at lunch, you decided to walk to their table, a pit of nerves in your stomach. as you got closer, you could hear cartman shit talking heidi.

stan had been the first to see you coming over, as he nudged kyle and nodded his head in your direction. he looked up, confused. you could feel yourself turn red.

"um, hey... guys," you waved, internally cringing at yourself. everyone at the table now had their eyes trained on you. you had never felt so out of place before.

cartman stopped complaining mid sentence and visibly eyed you up and down. "fuck no, leave." your frown deepened.

"um, yeah (y/n), no offense but why are you over here?" stan asked.

you had started to answer, when you heard another voice call out cartman's name. you glanced over to see heidi walking over with a smile.

"hi cartman! and, (y/n)? what are you doing over here?"

"oh, um, you know. the girls were being a little annoying so..." you bit the inside of your lip anxiously. it wasn't necessarily abnormal for you to sit with the guys sometimes when the girls were being a little too much - but with the tension between the boys and the girls recently you hadn't in a while. which, in a word, sucked, since that meant less time with kyle.

heidi gave a shrug and smiled at cartman, who looked like he wanted nothing more than for her to leave. your brow furrowed as she invited him to sit together for lunch and he begrudgingly followed along. you took his empty seat and started explaining,

"look, i'm worried about heidi. cartman is a fucking ass, and she's hurting. the girls just make fun of her and it's not helping. can you guys like, i dunno, do something? make them split?"

"i've been trying!" kyle interjects, and you look over to him with a puzzled look. "i've been saying we need to do something, but they won't listen!" he gestures to the guys around him angrily.

stan shakes his head. "it's not our business dude. she'll leave when she realizes how horrible he is." butters nodded in agreement. "yeah fellas, we really have no right to get involved."

"you're fucking joking, right? how can you just let him treat her like that?" you knew coming over here wasn't the best idea - this was just making you frustrated. "you know, forget it!" you slammed your hands on the table and pushed yourself up. you glanced up at kyle who gave you a concerned look, and left the cafeteria with a huff.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

you made your way back to your locker to hang out there for the rest of lunch. you were just gonna have to deal with this yourself, you thought bitterly. you heard the door from the cafeteria open and was surprised to see kyle coming over to you.

he started talking before you could say anything. "i want to help you break them up." you turned towards him. "really?"

he nodded, and explained how he had been trying for a while to get the guys to understand that cartman was being pretty cruel to heidi.

"okay, then. i think you should talk to her. whenever i try, it doesn't get to her. i think she needs someone else's perspective." you said, and looked to kyle to see what he thought.

"i can talk to her after school today, then." you smiled at him.

"i appreciate you helping me, i'm so worried about heidi..." you frowned slightly and looked off dejectedly.

you hoped this worked.

you startled when a sudden warmth grabbed your hand, and looked over with wide eyes to kyle smiling sweetly at you.

"i'm glad to help you, (y/n). and heidi. it's been a while since we've talked anyways."

you felt your face flush and lip slightly quiver at his words. "y-yeah," you stammered. "i want things to go back to normal." he let go of your hand and nodded. "yeah, me too. though, can't say i'm not glad the fatass is gonna get his heartbroken, though..."

you let out a laugh at his insult. "well, i'm gonna go back to the guys. i'll talk to you later!" he waved goodbye as you watched him disappear behind the double doors.

maybe when this was all over, you'd invite him over to study again.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

the next day, while you were at your locker before class, heidi ran up to you.

she looked happier than ever.

"(y/n)!(y/n)!" she called out. she stopped running when she got to you, a little out of breath. "i did it! we broke up!" you offered her a smile, knowing your efforts with kyle worked.

"i'm glad. he sucked,"

but why the change of heart?" you watched as she pulled out a pretty envelope from her bag. "kyle actually talked me into it. he said such nice things to me..." she trailed off, and her face flushed. "i think i actually really like kyle - i made this to give to him," she held up what she made.

your smile fell as she continued. "i'm gonna give him this later. i kinda think we're dating now - is that shallow? am i a bad person?"

you fiddled with your backpack straps, not really knowing what to say. "um, of course not heidi. you deserve to be happy. cartman can suck it." she giggled excitedly. "you could say that again. do you wanna see what i wrote to kyle?"

"um, i'd love to, but i just remembered i told ms. nelson i'd meet her before class. so, i should go." you turned and left before she could say anything else. you hoped she didn't notice you were definitely going in the opposite direction of ms.nelson's room.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

kyle had waved at you in class, but you turned away. you knew you had really no reason to be upset with him, but it definitely did suck.

you hoped you could get over it soon.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

the next morning, you could hear yelling as you entered school, and saw a crowd in the middle of the hall.

"what's going on?" you asked a kid who was passing by, probably to go watch. "there's a fight! kyle and cartman, over heidi!" you felt your brow twitch.

fuck that, you thought, and turned away.

but what if kyle got hurt? cartman could so much as trip and if he landed on kyle just right he'd break a leg or something.

but kyle was more than capable of beating cartman's ass...

you shook your head and just went to class.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

by the time lunch came around, everyone was talking about what happened earlier.

especially the girls.

"heidi, i'd give anything to have 2 guys fight over me like that." bebe laughed with the other girls as heidi looked away bashfully.

comments like "isn't it so romantic" were being thrown around and you could tell heidi was eating it up.

"good god guys, can we talk about something else?" you asked bitterly, looking up from the table.

"what the fuck is your problem, (y/n)?" bebe snapped, and all their heads turned to you. you sighed, "i'm just tired of hearing about it. not even a week ago you were making fun of her, and now you're gushing. give me a fucking break, guys."

"christ, you're just jealous you're not the one kyle's pining after. no one's forcing you to sit with us, you can leave you know." bebe quipped back harshly. you opened your mouth to snap back, but decided against it. you stood up and stormed out.

on your way to the lockers, you felt your phone buzz in your pocket.

from: bebe

we don't think you should come to heidi's dinner tonight

you clicked your tongue in annoyance and put it back. go figure.

well, this fucking blows, you thought. you felt tears welling up in your eyes as you put your back against the lockers and slowly slumped the floor.

how did it end up like this? you had just wanted to see heidi happy again - just not happy with the boy you had a sappy crush on. you stared at the set of lockers ahead of you, thinking about how if you just never went to that damned table, you wouldn't be crying in the hallway like a baby. that maybe -

"(y/n)?" you barely heard someone say your name as you looked up to see a bright orange jacket worn by arguably the last person you wanted to see.

"kyle?" you quickly brought your sleeves up and wiped your eyes.

"you looked pretty upset, what happened?" he kneeled down next to you, and you scooted away slightly.

"um, it doesn't matter," you picked at your nails. "uh, bebe made fun of me about a test i failed. you know how mean bebe can be..."

kyle definitely didn't look convinced. you asked about this morning before he had a chance to pry further.

he snorted and laughed bitterly. "cartman's so fucking stupid. he came over and slammed me into the lockers, saying how i took everything from him. i hit him once and it was done." he looked kinda proud of himself. confidence wasn't something that exactly oozed off kyle, which you never understood. in your eyes, he deserved all the confidence in the world.

"wouldn't expect any different."

a weird silence washed over you as you rested your back against the lockers again.

"um, congrats on you and heidi. i'm glad you're making her happy again." you glanced at him from the corner of your eye and saw him smile softly.

"yeah, she's great." you looked back at the lockers. you didn't wanna keep talking to him like this.

"the girls are going out later to celebrate."

"yeah, heidi told me. we're going out after too."

you hummed in response.

"hm. well, i should go back. don't let whatever bebe said get to you." you nodded as he patted your shoulder and got up to return to the cafeteria.

yeah, this definitely fucking blows.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

when your alarm rang the next morning, you had no desire to get up and go to school. pressing snooze for the third time, you flopped onto your back and started at the ceiling.

you had your eyes closed for about 20 seconds before your mom came into your room, and forced you out of bed.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

as you walked into school, you could tell something was up.

well, something was always up in south park. but the air felt thicker. as you approached your locker, you saw heidi leaning against it, looking at her nails.

here we go

"um, hey heidi." you greeted shakily. she looked up with a cold gaze.

"i wanted to talk about what bebe said yesterday. is that ok?"

you shrugged in response, a little confused. what was going on?

"did she mean it? are you jealous of me?" she stepped closer to you, and you stepped back.

"no, of course not, heidi. i don't really know what that was all about. or what the fuck you're on about right now either," you stepped back again.

"oh, okay," she sang, voice getting louder. "so you don't have feelings for kyle? she was lying about that?" her lips quirked up as your face fell. a couple people started to crowd around you as they started murmuring to one another.

you stared at her in bewilderment. "what the fuck is your deal?"

"god, eric was right about the both of you. is that why you like him? because you're both sneaky manipulative pussies?""

you felt anger boil in your chest as you realized cartman was involved.

"of fucking course you're back with him. heidi, just move the fuck out of my way. we're not doing this." you glared at the girl in front of you. she started laughing as she walked forward again.

"eric's not the issue. it's you. you were too busy trying to manipulate me into breaking things off, you couldn't see how no one fucking likes you!"

you gripped your backpack straps tight and you could feel a burning sensation in your eyes. you turned to go but she grabbed your shoulder. "look at yourself. can you really blame kyle for choosing me over you?"

before you even knew what you were doing, you felt your fist connect with heidi's face.

and then you suddenly found yourself on top of her, punching her even more with tears streaming down your face.

if there wasn't a crowd before, there certainly was now.

you suddenly felt someone grab you from under your arms and drag you up. you were heaving at this point, face covered in tears.

"you need to calm down," a familar voice came from right behind you.

a voice you recognized all too well.

"kyle..." you whispered. you felt more tears well up in your eyes as you stopped squirming and he let go of you.

this was all too much. you didn't even want to look at what you did to heidi, and you didn't know if you could handle kyle's disappointed gaze that you felt you deserved.

"heidi, i-i'm sorry-" you stepped forward, but cartman had pushed his way through to her side. "oh my god, what the fuck did you do to her you fucking skank?!" he started walking towards you, and you were certain he was gonna have you on the floor in another second.

before that could happen, you were shoved back as kyle put himself in between the two of you.

"cartman, i swear to god if you take another step i'll beat the shit out of you again!" kyle spat. you couldn't see what eric was doing from where you were, but you assume he backed off. you saw eric and heidi weave through the crowd of people. they eventually dispersed.

kyle had turned around, but you stared at the floor. at this point, the adrenaline was wearing off and your knuckles started to ache.

you don't know how long you both stood there, but it felt like eternity.

kyle was the first to break the silence. "i can take you to the nurse," he quietly offered. you bit your lip. of everyone, you definitely did not deserve his kindness.

"i'll go myself." you mumbled, and turned to walk away. you heard footsteps behind you, and soon kyle was trailing by your side.

you didn't say a word to each other.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

kyle waited outside the office as the nurse gave you an ice pack.

she hadn't really spoken to you, but you didn't miss the judgmental looks she passed your way.

"go straight to the principal." was all she said, then she dismissed you.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

kyle wordlessly followed you to the office, and sat beside you as you held the ice on your hands. you could hear heidi and cartman from the other side of the door. you kept your gaze down.

"why are you here, kyle?" you muttered, voice soft and trembling.

"i wanted to make sure you're okay."

"why?" you looked over to him and felt the burning in your eyes for the nth time that day. kyle averted his gaze and he was playing with the tips of his gloves. "i feel like this is my fault."

you blinked at him a couple times, not really understanding. his fault? was it not you who just beat the shit out of a girl?

"i'd argue this is definitely not your fault," you sighed. "listen, i don't know how much of what she said you heard. but i don't want to talk about it. i still don't understand how you're not angry with me."

there was a pause before he spoke. "heidi broke it off last night, before our date. she didn't outright say it, but she basically said i manipulated her. that, 'it's in my heritage' to be conniving."

you wanted to say that you're sorry, that he didn't deserve that. but you couldn't find the words.

"then, she mentioned you. how you were the one who... manipulated me? to be manipulative? however the fuck that works." he gave a short dry laugh. "the whole thing confused me. until i saw her walk away with cartman, then i understood what was happening."

"i'm still confused," you said. "how is this your fault?"

kyle turned to face you fully, and you turned your head to look at him. "listen. don't... don't listen to what heidi said. i... was selfish. i did really think cartman was treating her terribly - i wanted them to split for heidi's sake. but a part of me wanted to piss cartman off. and i realized getting with heidi was one of the best ways to do that."

you stared at the boy in front of you, at a loss for words. you know you should feel disgusted; technically he used heidi as a weird revenge pawn. really, heidi breaking things off was a weird way of karma doing its thing.

but it didn't feel like that.

you really didn't know how to feel about any of this.

"it's... still not your fault. cartman's a fucking dick. and i'm the one who lost my temper." you looked up and met his eyes.

"yeah, because of me." he said grimly. you sighed and looked down again. why was he being so stubborn about this?

"i know you said you don't want to talk about it, but please (y/n), be honest with me. you were jealous?" he sounded almost pained to ask the question.

you nodded slightly. "i know it's pathetic," you mumbled. you jumped when he grabbed your hand, careful to avoid the ice packs.

"no, it's me who's pathetic. god," he let out a heavy sigh. "i, um, have feelings for you."

your head snapped over to him immediately. "kyle," you said sternly. "please don't do this out of pity." a look of hurt showed on his face.

"no, no, you're not understanding." you could tell he was getting frustrated as his free hand power gripped his knee. "when we stopped hanging out, and you stopped coming by during lunch, i thought i did something wrong. but i didn't want to pester you, and i kind of just, gave up. i was so glad when you came by again, though the circumstances sucked." he took his hand off of yours and sighed. "i know i fucked up here. i'm sorry doesn't even cut it."

you tapped your fingers on the armrest as you thought about what to say. "i don't have it in me to, not forgive you. a apart of me thinks you're a selfish asshole," you glanced at him and saw his face fall. "but, i clearly fucked up here too. we all fucked up. you're not a bad person, kyle."

you put your hand on his weakly. "i think we both need time to figure things out. but, i want to figure things out together." you smiled at him.

"yeah," he said, gripping your hand. "we'll figure things out together."

[mellowwillowy]

Oh what? You dont get enough appreciation if my ask got you like that! Your stories are awesome!! While i will shamelessly admit its the oc x reader thing that lure me in, the way you love your characters sm that you keep developing them is exciting for me too! Before sending my previous ask i read all the webtoon, while im really lost (i understood it after few reread) uphill daisies, the lovecraft one is very fun and so cute! Lovecraft is my fav webtoon of yours. While I, once again shamelessly, feel sad if there's no reader content (im needy of their attention and need to be included LOL) i understand how hard it is to include a reader into your projects and i also understand if you want to grow your characters as their own series rather than fanservice characters and to be honest! Im excited with lovecraft series (im taking my time absorbing uphill daisies T—T) take your time writing though! Drawing multiple webtoon with such complicated world building and lots of character must be difficult and time consuming, cheering for ya!

tbh i miss yulian.. I'm tempted to pick up writing again to make a fanfic of him myself but mischaracterization my WORST enemy! Sorry i got too excited that you feel appreciated of my ask that i rambled more T—T

- love letter anon.

Bawling crying curling vomiting (but actually the curling is kinda real because my stomach hurts) reading this love letter!

What better way to market a series if not to make readers fall in love with them? Shameless (x GN Reader) fanservice! And as for the lack of reader content, it kinda is true in UD because it's meant to be a mystery/crime series buuuuuuuttttt for the CatboX series, there'd be 'readers' appearing in the series.

LCH will have approximately 6-7 readers (although they are more of a character, I still consider them to be a romanced readers), with almost all the main characters paired with at least one reader! The one with the most spotlight is expected to be Scribe (Caelus) because he's my favorite.

As for another unpublished CatboX series would be 'The System Forbids' for the 2025 contest (if I have enough time to spare after finishing at least 3-5 episodes of UD). The OG novel protagonist (aka FMC) is pretty much the reader with the amount of romcom going on although it's not the best x reader.

Identity Crisis is pretty much Blue with reader except it's girlfriend now. His character is still problematic (yandere?) in the series [IC has no chance of being republished for now]. Yulian is Yulian. He's also problematic and I can kinda see the slander he'll receive if UD is published until the ending.

Why am I yapping (slaps slaps slaps), anywayyyyyyy words can't express how much I love your support. Thanks for sparing your time to read my current works (and years years ago work…). It really motivates me to keep going and makes me know there's still someone waiting and reading my work.

For you getting confused over UD, lemme tell you something, it’s because the second episode is a bad pacing decision, and makes no sense to be slapped out of nowhere without a proper continuation. The only good thing from that webtoon right now is the opening so I am amazed if you can even understand a bit of it (because I won't as a reader)

I've always had the dilemma of making my webtoon. Most times I wish I could just tailor myself according to what's trending (like Yulian or Blue) but I ended up working on other characters and feel bad for providing 'who the fuck' stories. Another concern is that the 'reader' is now an established character with personal lore to the point it no longer feels inclusive… not to mention I mostly make GN content, it kind of concerns me how every GN reader here would feel (Since it's all just female and I have no plan to add new readers).

Regarding mischaracterization, I understand you sm anon TwT. Even I as their mama sometimes OOC them! And if I'm not OOC-ing them, I'd cringe reading the answers to asks despite being in character (pls why are you so wattpad-y). It's a struggle but I don't mind reading it, I've read countless mischaracterized Yulian in my asks haha. (So sorry, he's not an exemplary father, the last in the ranking board if he even made it to the leaderboard…)

My plan currently is to write more content according to what webtoons I'm going to publish.

[ask-bakabakabaka]

Rebranding this blog!!

Hello, 766 followers, many of whom are probably dead, inactive, or bots!! PSA to unfollow me now if you don't know me (Bunny) because I doubt you've been following this blog for the Touhou reactions, which I haven't drawn in like 8 years! ^^

I've been alive for all this time 'cuz this is my main, and I've been using this blog to like posts and interact with people occasionally, but I realized I can rebrand this account instead of being permanently tied to my 8+ year old art and (outdated but still kinda the same) sense of humor. Therefore, I will be doing that! I already have an art account I post art to, so I'm not replacing that one, but I'm probably going to become a Triple Baka (ask) account! (They apparently still have ask accounts in 2024 but I'm gonna go all in on a new one now!!) Essentially I'm becoming a Vocaloid/UTAU (SynthV)/Fanloid account. You're absolutely encouraged to unfollow me if you have no interest in Vocaloid and the like!

The transition will be a slow one but I wanted to announce it. I'm slowly gonna replace things with Triple Baka and my own art, but I will not be deleting old posts! This will still be an archive for my old touhoureactions stuff (cringe as it is rofl) because I don't really believe in deleting things. Someone kind even sent me an ask saying "thank you for not nuking this blog/keeping it up" and it's really sweet that someone said that to me lol.

As for why I'm transitioning to Vocaloid, it's obvious: I love it. I've loved Vocaloid for a long time (since 2012/2013) and recently I've come back to it-- I'll happily use my knowledge, reignited love, and improved art skills to make the Triple Baka ask blog of my dreams lol.

Touhou was a big part of my life and I still like it, but I've already slowly and steadily let Vocaloid (and SynthV) take the fore because of how happy it's been making me. I love Miku, Teto, and Neru a lot; in fact, I was rereading incredibly old posts of mine dating back to like 2013/2014 and I smiled at how I used to roleplay Teto and Neru-- it shows to me clearly how I portrayed and saw them. And now I love them a lot again now.

No idea if anyone will read this far, but before I fully transition, I will be answering all old asks sent to this account (I have about 40). Not gonna spam it, maybe I'll queue it, but I'll answer your ask after all these years with my new and less sloppy art lol, so that your ask isn't forever unanswered even as I change into a Vocaloid/UTAUloid/Fanloid blog. Even if the original asker/anon isn't around to see it, I'm gonna do that for the sake of completion. Please don't send any new Touhou asks, haha, 'cuz I'm only clearing up old ones, not trying to have new ones. Tbh, I actually have another duo that I love with my whole heart (Raccoon and Fennec from Kemono Friends) who I even gave their own blog, but hahaha, I wonder about making an askblog for them... They already have one so either I should revive it or I'll have them appear as cameos-- that's if anyone is interested in sending me asks at all for this blog's new intended purpose. xD I guess it's better if I stick to Vocaloid/etc. because that's the long-time interest I want to keep up/continue, whereas my love for Raccoon and Fennec has always felt like me trying to cling to the past, even though I still (today) love them with my entire being. I'll just draw those two in my art blog and accept requests/etc. either there or here when it comes to those two. They're my special little goobers (peanuts).

Anyway, everything I do is totally self-indulgent and for fun, and I wanted to mark this transition properly and see if I can reduce my follower count by like 700. xD The only reason it got that high is 'cuz this is my MAIN-main account and I've had it for almost 10 years.

I'm switching from Touhou (an old love of mine) to Vocaloid-UTAU (another old love of mine but more recent). Specifically for Triple Baka: Teto, Miku, and Neru. I'll make profiles and an explanation and stuff of them soon, but you may start thinking of things to send if you want (I ship Teto and Miku btw, same age ranges ofc, so you should also unfollow me if you don't vibe with that 'cuz it'll probably crop up...).

It's been a good run and I'll keep and preserve everything here, but I'm becoming a different beast! I hope to keep at it for a long time! <3 This is still my MAIN-main, so you're always welcome to follow me/stay mutuals if you know me and wanna still stay buddies (I won't spam the timeline btw, I'll probably maybe queue like posts for one or two a day, if I'm that active), but yeah~. It's the end of an era and a transition to a new one! I'm excited tbh! But it will take time. ( uwu ) c:

Btw, I went through all my old posts (there aren't a ton so it doesn't take that long) and I cringed slightly at some of my humor but it did make me break into laughter a couple of times. Mainly because it's the old me I'm reacting to and I'm always like, "there's something wrong with her (affectionate)" whenever I see something that I know I probably (definitely) wouldn't say today. xD In many ways, I've changed from my old self, but I still try to stay friendly and kind, so if anything I made is offensive in any way, that totally wasn't intended! Offending people isn't really part of my sense of humor, so take everything I ever said/made in this blog with a grain of salt/older eyeglasses.

Newer me is cooler imo (the light in my eyes isn't gone yet even though not everything has been fun lmao) and I'm also more careful about the jokes I make, so know that I probably won't make any suggestive/risque jokes at all unless I find it SUPER funny and I can't resist. I doubt there will be any instances of that, but I'm just talking briefly about what to expect for the future.

I'll talk more about it later! For now, I'm gonna slowly go through all my old asks, which will probably definitely take longer than a week. Thanks for all the people who were with me on my journey, if they remember me, and thanks for the fun times! I really did have fun, so I look at this with fondness (even if I do cringe slightly ahaha).

It's okay to be cringe. 😂😂😂😂

[storiesofsvu]

https://www.tumblr.com/storiesofsvu/756561724151414784/ask-game-for-fanfic-writers

How about every integer of 10? 🙏🫡

10,20,30,40,50,60,70,80,90,100

(or less if that's too much)

ooo bless!

10. at what point in the process do you come up with titles and how easy or hard is that for you?

fuck. i HATE titles. 99% of the time it's the very last thing I do and half the time i forget about it until i open tumblr to make the post. For one shots i generally read through it again and pick a phrase or repeating word and use that. For series: i'll usually pop onto discord with a brief summary and ask if ppl have ideas, otherwise i have a note in my phone of potential titles that are generally song titles or lyrics. i like my series titles to actually mean something and tie into the story whereas i dont give a fuck about the one shots LOL

20. what is your favourite trope to write?

forbidden love? we're gonna pretend that's a thing lol. like, stories have to have conflict and what's better than two people who wanna fuck/date/whatever and either can't or shouldn't, or like, their bosses would frown upon it, right? like, any and all degree of it, not particularly totally forbidden.

30. most inspirational quote you've ever read or heard that's still important to you.

christ. i cannot think of anything rn. My mind went straight to disney because there are so many things that light up my passion/motivation. the last time we were there we saw the "new" (lol) fireworks show and it had this little speech that was all "no go, let your dreams guide you, reach out and find your happily ever after" and it was kinda the resurge i needed at the time to be all "oh fuck, that's right, i just need to focus" as the old fireworks show had a bit that i like, wished on every fucking night and always made me cry about cause of how i related to it. wow i'm SO cool HA.

in high school (performing arts) certain people got to sign the theatre crossover wall at graduation and i got to and i singed it with a Fosse quote but i cannot remember it anymore for the life of me loll

40. best piece of feedback you've ever gotten?

bruh ive got no clue. i dont get/ask for feedback basically ever. esp recently people have been more just "omg so good" or "next part??" uhh... yeah, i dont think anyone ever has minus like a comment here and there with a friend when spitballing and i have a goldfish brain so i cannot remember.

50. do you plan or do you write whatever comes to your mind?

bit of both! for one shots it's usually just the prompt i was given/found and MAYBE a bit of a blurb scenario.

series: i will not start until i have a much more detailed outline and a rough idea of how it's going to end. nothing is specifically labelled and as i work on the story the outline gets longer, more fleshed out, sometimes there's full conversations or smut pieces in the outline and eventually ch's get labelled and sometimes it's like "ch 4, they go to this hotel and fuck" lol

60. where is the most dangerous place that you're written fic?

work. was stuck in the bar (that guests dont have access to) during service time with nothing else to do. my manager literally came in and teased me about not working and then later asked what i was working on and i said "fanfic, but that's all i'm telling you cause a lot o its real gay and real dirty" LOL

70. are you ever critical of your own writing? how much do you find yourself editing (either during or after the fact?)

i'm SO critical, but it's like, when i'm rereading it months down the road and it's been posted and too late to edit LOL. and it's mainly me just looking at old works that are SO trope filled and slightly cringe and include lot of the stuff that i no longer write.

I don't edit too much at all lol. I'll catch most typos or grammar while going/on a brief read through but it's VERY rare i'll actually go back to edit a full passage the next day or anything. Hence my very detailed outlines! i will edit from there to the fic cause i'll add to the outlines whenever something sparks in my brain and i know its good lol.

80. do you try to put themes, motifs, messages, morals, etc in your writing?

uhh... no? LOL. sometimes i do, and sometimes they just end up there completely by accident.

90. do you notice your own voice in your writing style?

absolutely. why do you think there's so much profanity? LOL. but also as someone who writes mainly reader insert, there is a little bit of me in every yn i write

thanks for asking!! <3 (and that's never too much lol)

[marley-manson]

4, 13, 21, 23 💖

Thank you!

4. say something nice about a ship you don’t ship (it can be another ship in your fandom, a mutual’s OTP, etc)

BJ/Trapper has a lot of good potential for psychosexual shennanigans and weirdness and character exploration, and I respect the hustle.

13. your favorite type of fandom event (gift exchange, ship week, secret santa, prompt meme, etc)

Kink memes, miss their ubiquitousness every day. I appreciate kink-centric exchanges and month-long prompt lists etc too. And I have a lot of fondness for Yuletide, for being the main reason a lot of random kinda gay classic movies I've seen have 1 or 2 shockingly good fics. These are all as a reader, not a writer, because as a writer I have no favourite fandom events, I hate deadlines lol. I've participated in like 3 as a meta writer, a fic writer, and a vidder, and it's cool and I dig the events for existing, but creating with a deadline will never be my favourite thing.

21. a fandom you’re not active in anymore but that you still really like

Due South is the first that springs to mind. It's an old fandom but I'm still always down to occasionally reread fic, or gush about my faves. But also generally I'm still fond of all my old fandoms. I never look back on something I once enjoyed with anything but positive feelings, even if it's not my thing now, or it's soured for outside reasons. Like eg Harry Potter is a minefield of JKR's immense bigotry, the series itself being fundamentally flawed (and just plain annoying lol) in many ways, most old BNFs I used to like showing their asses, etc, but it was a great time when I was a kid and I have no regrets. I don't look back and cringe at myself or anything like that, I just look back with fondness.

23. the fandom you’re curious about because of a mutual

Answered! I wish I could add another one but lol there's nothing I'm really looking into right now fandom-wise.

ask meme

[thebestofoneshots]

Hey! i’ve started posting to my own page, and i just really wanted to know, how you got into writing and how you kinda found your style? did it just naturally come to you? :3

- Luster 💫

Hey Luster (wonderful name by the way)! I didn't even know I had a writing style of my own but I suppose it's kind of like artists right? They have their own little signature drawings and we have our own little signature words? (I mean I guess I'm somewhat on the light and funny side? Little bit of angst thrown into the mix? this sounds like a supernatural episode lol)

I suppose it really did just naturally come to me, but that's precisely where a lot of reading and writing comes along, you see I've been writing since I was like 10 (I do cringe at some of my old stuff), and then I've been writing fanfics since I was like 11 or 12. But I've also been reading fanfics since then, so I assume a lot of my style was derived from that at the beginning.

Like if I think about it... Remember when we used to have the writer but in the story with dialogue straight towards the characters, like some weird omnipotent god?(I used to do that shit, bro, I'm telling you the cringe).

But also, we all have to start somewhere, right? And the more you write, the more natural it becomes to find the right words to put into text the daydreams in your head; It also becomes a lot easier.

Nowadays, I read a lot of stuff that I think will improve my vocabulary and descriptions. Some fanfiction writers are basically poets on this site, and I do lean to their stuff a little bit because that's how I want to write in the future. So, I read and analyse the way they use words to be able to improve (I even have a note in my notes app with several words that I find interesting or useful for certain descriptions).

I've also been rereading some of the good old classics, things like The Portrait of Dorian Grey. Oscar Wilde has a masterful way with words and I also want to be able to use them in the way he does.

So yeah, I'd say just read a lot of stuff that you like, and when you think something sounds good, write it down, you may be able to use it later down the road (of course don't straight up copy and paste stuff, that's plagiarism).

Hope you find this useful, I wish you lots of luck on your new writing journey, and if you ever wanna discuss writing, my DMs and asks are always open.

[lennjamin-o7]

Ahhh the new chapter is so good!!!! Loved seeing Schlatt, Fundy,Puffy, and KRISTIN but also the trial scenes!!!! I've never been so happy at a character's misfortune. AND WHEN MIELLE TRIED TO SWAP SPOTS SJDJDHDHD

"pigs will fly" hehe

"Actually, not even just his studies! It doesn’t matter what it is, he gives it his all.”" that's kinda swee- "Honestly, if he didn’t work so hard, he would be completely worthless.”" i take it back.

And "wanting the moment to last. He didn’t want it to be torn away by some interruption, someone demanding Phil’s attention with a more important reason than just Techno" i sense some trauma.

And phil i know you want revenge but comfort techno please,my dude is suffering. Also love the fae's giving Mielle a reality check,like i understand she's a product of her environment but dear lord i want to punt her a new one.

""“Wait-you-�� Technoblade tried to pull away" it was at this moment he knew he fucked up

"She held out her hands and Philza gracefully landed on her palm" now i can hear is giant woman lol

"“He had given me thanks. He had eaten our food. He had accepted my gifts,” Philza answered. The shadows in the forest seemed to lengthen, darken, quicken. Shivering and whispering in displeasure, a growing mantra of injustice’s payment and the consequences of actions taken in ignorance." Kick their ass's Kristin!!!

-🥔🐢

I hadn't intended to add anymore characters when I first wrote this, in all honestly. But those guys popped out of nowhere and decided "nah, we are here now" lol. It worked out great! And its a nice little nod.

I cringed do hard writing Mielle's incredibly backhanded compliment. Its such a bitch thing to say. I'm not sure if a real person would ever have the balls to say that to someone but hot dang did that one sizzle. Oof, rereading that made me want to change the ending a bit.

Techno is so small and so alone. He is a little bit traumatized, yeah.

She deserves a bit of punting. Everyone is a product of their environment. The most jerky IRL person you ever met was a product of their environment. It doesn't stop them from being an ass.

SHE BIG! SHE SO BIG! I LOVE BIG KRISTIN!!!

Kristin is NOT happy. Not at all. That was HER sonboy. Get fucked, royals!

[thebreakfastgenie]

✨🦋 (also 💜💜💜💜)

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

The Emergency Room. It's the work I'm proudest of (although I reread it recently and I was kinda critical... that's just me being me 🤪). I just have a lot of feelings about the scene in the car. And for a MASH fic, I guess maybe hills like white elephants. But really any of them lol I crave talking about any of these because writing another one is taking so damn long!

🦋what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

You know, I'm not sure. I don't really feel insecure when I post fics. I mean, I do, but I've developed such a defense for it that I don't anymore. That makes no sense. I guess I'm always worried about embarrassing mistakes and typos, or that it's bad in some way, that the prose will make me cringe or the characterization is off. But I guess the most honest answer is my own reputation. I adore my friend who gas me up and say "oh, I can't wait to read it, I know it'll be amazing because it's you!" It feels good! But expectations make me so nervous. I know not everything I write is as good as what I've written before, and I always strive for it to be better. Like, maybe this one won't be good! I don't want to disappoint!!

[pink-booty-butts]

🍥🍙🍠🍱

Btw, you're absolutely incredible!! You write my favourite fanfics and I appreciate you and your friendship so much! You deserve so so much appreciation ♥

Omg Mari you're the sweetest!! thank you so much!! I appreciate you and our friendship so much too!! I am hugging you mentally rn <33

🍥 What's your favorite fic you've written?

Omg this is such a hard one! I feel like my favorite fic is always the one I'm currently writing haha (which rn is a william fic that's taking me ages lol).

But if I had to pick from ones I've already posted, probably Pranked! Normally I try to think more about what other people would want to read, or I try to think a lot about how to make the Reader more relatable to people besides me so people can insert themselves more easily(btw idk if i'm successful, but i always try my best to consider these things!). But for that fic I threw all of that out the window and basically just wrote it for myself haha :P

🍙 Is there a fic you wish had gotten more attention?

If I had to pick one, probably Say Yes!

Honestly, I don't think it's my best work so I'm not upset about it. I think I'm only slightly disappointed because I wrote that fic when I was having some feelings™ and at the time I kinda wanted someone to support me like Chris does in that fic and thought maybe other people would too, but I think it was probably too depressing haha.

Also it probably didn't get as much attention because I don't write him in character well enough, so I probably need to watch Spy again so I can write better fics about him for you guys!! <33

🍠 How long does it take you to write one of your fics or a chapter/part?

Ooooooh man not to be basic, but it depends! If I'm super duper focused I can bang out a fic from blank page to edited and posted in a couple of hours.

But unfortunately I'm a super restless/hyper person irl, I feel the need to get up and lowkey run a lap around my house like every 10 minutes so sometimes it takes a lot longer than that, and because of that it's really hard to give an accurate number of how long it actually takes me to write something sadly! (Maybe I should try timing myself when I'm actively writing bc I'm kinda curious now lol) With the fic I'm currently writing, I swear it took me like 5 hours to write a single paragraph cos I couldn't sit still hahahaha. I kinda wish I wasn't like that so I could get more fics written for you guys, but on the bright side I always get my steps in! :p

🍱 Do you read your own fics?

NO NEVER EW LOL, literally cringe every time I've reread one of my fics

Lmao jk! Tbh I do sometimes reread them when I'm writing a fic for a particular character and I want to check if I've written something similar already because I worry about my fics being too similar to each other. I know to some extent it's probably inevitable because I'm writing them, but I do sometimes skim over previous fics to check I'm not writing the same exact scenario or using the same language or words to describe something. I still cringe when I do that, but I suffer through it to make the fic I'm writing at that time better (hopefully) haha

Thank you so much for your questions btw!! <3 You're the best!!

[jsuislfrost]

hey, idk how to say this without seeming slightly creepy, since i have no idea what your stance is on being associated with the username moonshroom420 (i hope i got that correctly, otherwise this will be a very awkward and misdirected ask. it took a bit of searching through tumblr reblogs and even then, i'm still not sure if it's right).

(and i'm sorry for bringing it up if you have negative memories with that username)

but like,, 9 years ago or something? i'm pretty sure you kick-started my entire journey into fandoms with "brace yourself, hogwarts". no, this is not a request for you to update that fic /srs. as much as i enjoyed it i do not want to pressure you about it, but i do come back to it from time to time to reread it. i would be lying if i said it didn't inspire most of my writing style back then.

ever since then, fandoms were such fun communities for me to thrive in, and i've met some of my best friends because of them. i don't write anymore, but i do love drawing fanart of anime (current favourite is bungou stray dogs ahaha shameless recommendation).

so i kinda just wanted to thank you for writing that fic and existing, because i wouldn't be who i am today without it, nor would i have met the people who i treasure so much in my life.

and you don't have to answer this question but, looking at myself and how much i changed in 9 years, i'm sort of curious what your journey was like? does it feel strange to learn how you've impacted people's lives (or at least mine)?

sorry if this sappy and horribly written ask made you cringe so hard, i mainly just wanted to thank you and maybe see how you were doing now.

hey!! i’ve got no problem at all with moonshroom420 lol, i changed my user mostly because my friends started teasing me about it being a weed thing (it wasn’t, but would be funny if it was #legalise it). sorry the change turned you around so much, but i’m honoured you put that much effort into finding my tumblr.

i don’t really know what to say except thank you 💛. i’m always a little surprised when people say any if my stories touched them in ways that ended up shaping their lives, because i was 15/16 when i wrote most of them and i wouldn’t exactly call them great writing. it started as a way for my friends and i to escape and then became its own beast entirely, but i also wouldn’t be who i am today without them.

i’m always thankful to you and everyone else who encouraged me. i still get reviews on lots of my stuff today if you can believe it, it’s always funny to me that folks would bother. it’s strange in a way to know that i’ve impacted people in ways i never intended, but i love it. i screenshot some of the reviews that really meant a lot to me and have them as my screensaver. i think the readers impacted me the same as my stuff impacted them tbh.

as for me, i work in publishing now making books for kids who don’t have easy access to them, like in combat zones and underprivileged countries. hilarious to think that i wouldn’t have this dream job and wonderful friends if it weren’t for fanfic.

[choshasan]

Something depressingly funny about me;

I've watched so much fucking anime in my life.. that my inner speach.. kinda.. lowkey.. -ish.. sounds like some anime character speaking..

Which.. is pretty funny..

Espetially when I write and reread myself and I'm just like..

Who the fuck wrote this?? Some dramatic teen in an anime???

But then...

Because my inner speech sounds like that..

Whenever I feel strong emotions on the inside, like.. lets say.. have a mental breakdown...

I end up being taken aback and being like

Ew.. wtf... why do I sound so dramatic?? That's so fucking cringe..

And then my mental breakdown ends without me processing any of my emotions cuz I'm just so fucking disgusted with the way I sounded in my own head..

Like bro..

Sometimes I'll be walking around, doing stuff, and I'll stop in my tracks just to internally beat myself up because "why's my inner speech so cringe?? Why am I voicing everything I do and my entire life like some movie protagonist?? That's cringe as fuck.

And then I go around being self concious and not knowing how to think anymore because it sounds weird...

Anyway, all this to say, I bully myself lol

[trickster-whim]

So.... um.... did I mention that I'm back on my transformers bullshit? Because I am... unwell.

(Thundercracker and the kittens for distraction because I didn't take photos but I will be talking a lot lol)

So, this morning we got up at 7am (I usually sleep til 10, my sister til 2pm) and drove into Phoenix to get our covid and flu vaccines. Ever since the pandemic ""ended"" it's been really hard to get vaccines without insurance. But we did that, and then came drive back home to see Transformers One in the theatre, and fuuuuuuuuuuuck is it so extremely my thing. I didn't know anything about it going in; I haven't kept up with the franchise, but holy slagging Primus was this movie gr9! (I was trying to explain to my sister about the different continuities and the various origin stories I remember, but when someone doesn't share your hyperfixation, you gotta make sure not to infodump enough that the only person who talks to you murders you. I also haven't really read anything since MTMTE, so...)

It's also the first movie I've seen in a proper theatre since... Detective Pikachu? I did see FNaF at the dollar cinema, but other than that it's been... a while. I brought Rodimus to keep my company (read: keep me quiet), and I loved the fuck out of it. It was so hard not talking the whole time, and that did not stop me from thumbs-downing Sentinel when he showed up for the first time (eternal hater, yo), and squeeing embarrassingly when things got tense or they said a line from the comics/show I remembered, and pointing at the background Bots when I saw one I recognized (I see you, Wheeljack and Coneheads and my girl Arcee). Basically I am the worst person to see a Transformers movie with, but I really, really liked it.

I could literally talk about this movie for hours, but my sister, even though she liked it too, isn't as... fanatically obsessed with the franchise as I am, although she did buy me this Thundercracker! He's always been my favorite, and I'm all for any of the elite trine 🫨

He's... a little shorter than Roddi... Also yes there is a boob and a dick in that photo, wow. I'm safe for work.

I do plan on repainting him a little (I found some of my old repaints, including when I made Prime Starscream his trinemates, since again, TC is bae), but for now he's a nice souvenir of free vaccines and not free movies. And mental illness 🥰🥰🥰

Anyway, about the babies: they got neutered this week! It's the last thing they're in for until a checkup in a couple months, so now we just need to keep them calm and not jumping and scratching and fucking fighting each other all the time. Ahem.

So yeah. As I said: my bullshit, I am on it. I've been reading my decade old fanfics, and some of them are actually pretty fun to reread (and some are so cringe my eyes start bleeding. Cringe is dead, but so am I). I also kinda want to get back into drawing these fraggers. I was doodling at breakfast and ended up with a Seeker, so it's still in there. Anyway, bai~~~

[practically-an-x-man]

7, 8, 17, 23, 31, 35, 47, 52, 57, and 70 for the fic writer ask game!

Ooooh thank you so much!!

Ask Game for Fic Writers

7. tell us about the plot of the first fanfic you ever wrote

Technically it was this 5-page-long, super shitty fic in the Terfy Wizard Fandom that I wrote when I was 10 or 11. But we're not gonna talk about that.

My first fanfic that I wrote with the knowledge of it being fanfic, and posted on AO3, was an X-Men fic featuring an OC named Mira Hart. The plot basically just walked through the events of First Class and DOFP with Mira included (and in a semi-tumultuous relationship with Hank McCoy), and I had plans to eventually include Apocalypse, Dark Phoenix, and some original plotlines as well (though that hasn't happened, and I kinda doubt it will. Maybe maybe one of the original ideas but I'm not sure)

Given it was my first fic, I think some of the ideas still do hold up, though the writing does make me cringe a little lol. I think it would be cool to rewrite/revamp it and give Mira the love she really deserves, but on the other hand I have a much more interesting idea to write between Hank and a new OC that I think I'd rather focus on first. Not to say I can't write both eventually, but... Delphi is really fucking cool dude you'd love her.

8. what’s your relationship with constructive criticism and feedback like? do you seek it out? how well do you take it?

Hm... that's a tough one. I'm used to seeking out and receiving feedback thanks to theatre and FX work and all that (though the RSD is brutal sometimes and I hate that), but unsolicited feedback is one of my biggest pet peeves. I can take feedback pretty well when I'm expecting it, but when it comes out of the blue then my brain just will not let go of it and it leaves me feeling insecure and awful.

When it comes to fic writing, I don't usually seek out constructive criticism. I'm posting my fics for free, for fun, and to relax, I don't need people picking them apart (unless it's to point out what they enjoyed!)

17. what is your favorite line you’ve ever written?

Answered previously, but I also can never decide lmao

23. how do you deal with writers block?

In the short term, I try to switch to a different task to give my brain a break. I'll walk my dogs, play a video game, practice guitar or draw a couple sketches, whatever I feel like that doesn't require the same type of concentration. It helps unstick the gears a little.

In the longer term, I'll pick up a few new books or reread some old favorites. I call it "recharging my words", it's something I've done since I started writing and it really helps! I do still love to read even when I'm not under writer's block, but making a targeted effort to notice the author's voice and style can sometimes help me get back to my own author's voice.

31. tell us about one of your characters who’s an absolute joy to write

QUINN!!! Holy shit she's SO fun dude you have no idea!! Sometimes writing her is fun because it's cathartic, since some of her experiences with disability, counterculture, and gender are reflections of my own, and sometimes it's just fun because it's fun - she's so sassy and just a total ball of chaos, there's never a dull moment!

35. tell us about a character who’s very different than you who you love a whole lot

All my OCs tend to reflect me in some way or another, even if that's just a single trait or interest of theirs, but I think the one that's the least similar to me is probably Eris. I'm not a violent or angry person in the slightest, and their experiences are vastly different from my own, but he has just such an interesting view on the world and I love her to the ends of the earth.

47. what story are you most proud of?

Oh man... all of them? In their own ways? They each accomplish something a little different, and it's hard to compare them directly.

But if I had to pick one... Heartstrings. I love the dynamic between Jasper and Kyle, I think there's a lot of emotional depth to it, and we're at the point in the story where the plot is starting to pick up a little speed.

52. how many unfinished ideas/stories are you working on at the same time?

Oh man... I think I'm running at 7 simultaneous longfics (Smoke and Mirrors, Catch and Release, Who Waits Forever Anyway?, Heartstrings, Taking Flight, Heart in Your Hands, and Desert Song) at the moment, plus... I don't even know how many separate pieces. Let's see...

Eris (oneshot series, got 3 upcoming ideas)

Nikoletta (oneshot series, got 2 upcoming ideas)

Gia (oneshot series, need to start writing out her main story, no idea how many fics that'll end up being)

2 upcoming ArchAegis oneshots

Vivienne's story (probably a longfic but I need to start writing it)

Spider's story (also probably a longfic, albeit a shorter one, still needs an outline and a full OC bio and everything else)

Plus my writing ideas masterlist has 43 other ideas, in various stages of complexity and readiness, that I haven't even begun to start writing yet

57. what is the last thing that a fic made you google when you were reading it?

HAHA okay

"friends singing to marcel"

Context: mentioned it as a throwaway detail in the new chapter of Heartstrings, I was pretty sure the song was The Lion Sleeps Tonight but was just uncertain enough that I had to check

70. are you very critical of your own writing? how much do you find yourself editing (either during the writing or after the fact)?

I used to be very critical of my own writing, but now as I've gotten more comfortable with my style and voice, I'm a little more comfortable with it. I don't do a ton of editing, honestly: each writing session starts with me rereading what I wrote last time and making some minor tweaks as needed, followed by one more quick scan as I'm in the process of posting the finished piece/chapter, but I don't do a lot of intense editing.