#i'm just. so tired. so discouraged. so helpless.

[spiderfreedom]

women must learn about technology

one of the most common gender-limited roles across the world is the making of musical instruments. in the majority of cultures, men make musical instruments. flutes are almost exclusively made by men.

this may seem like a weird little curio - i certainly thought it was - until you read more. in many cultures, instruments are played by the people who make them. if women don't have the knowledge to make instruments, then they can't play the instrument, because instruments may not be made as gifts. instruments become gendered. men resent women entering on their space and refuse to share technical knowledge with them on how to play or make the instrument. women are limited to singing (if that) or simple instruments that they can make. there are very few instruments that "only" women are allowed to play/make.

in its extreme form, this results in taboo musical instruments (usually flutes for some reason) that women may not see or hear on pain of death.

"so what", i hear you say. "what do musical instruments have to do with anything?" well, it shows that one of the most common ways to limit women and raise up men is to prevent or discourage women from having technical knowledge.

even in our allegedly """superior""" western cultures, music production and engineering is almost entirely male-dominated. ask women in production and sound engineering, and you'll find that they face not just benign sexism/prejudice but downright hostility.

men become associated with technology. technology from tekhnos - art or craft. women become associated with spiritualism, the immaterial, the unprovable and ineffable ("we are reclaiming our feminine power through astrology!") or alternatively the body, the base, the mundane, the maintenance work, using machines and technology that they did not create.

knowledge is power. men have historically guarded certain kinds of knowledge/power from women. today, too many men continue this gatekeeping. "don't worry your pretty little head about how a car works, missy." too many women are happy to let them, afraid to challenge their learned helplessness. "I'm a passenger princess! i'm too dumb to know how a washing machine works!" (and i even see feminists say things like "thank god a butch woman was here to help me change my tires." why associate technological knowledge with a certain gender presentation?)

learning about technology can be scary. it's complicated and there's a large body of material to challenge. many of us have been conditioned into learned helplessness, and it's easier and more immediately rewarding to ask someone else to take care of our technological issues for us. there's the issue of stereotype threat where we're afraid to fail and confirm negative stereotypes of women. but if we're serious about empowerment, we must remember knowledge is power. women who know about carpentry don't need to rely on men. women who know how to fix their car can intelligently converse with male mechanics. knowledge is the thing they can't take away from you, you carry it with you where you go, and you can share it with other women. you don't need to learn about every field of technology - pick one that piques your interest (electronics? electricity? carpentry? HVAC? auto mechanics?) and begin reading about it. do beginner diy stuff. over time, you'll gain confidence and useful skills. then help fellow women.

[dreadfutures]

I hope and pray Bellara is not the ditzy woman in STEM people are already characterizing her as. 😭 we don't even know her yet at all!!! why we gotta just blatantly stereotype. I hope she has her bearings with her at all times. I hope she remembers to bathe. I hope she has normal social skills.

I am so tired of fandom and media making every smart woman in fiction into a helpless gets lost everywhere socially awkward baby who only knows how to socialize with robots. it's done so much damage to our fields and makes all our lives harder and discourages smart and charismatic women from joining the field because they think they don't belong or they don't want to belong because of who they think they'll be around.

I'm so sick of the bazinga-fication of us okay

And when you make women scientist characters I hope you remember that most scientists are fucking normal people who communicate normally and have exceedingly normal hobbies like rock climbing and can cook and can make art and like the humanities and have families and friends and have to work on TEAMS science is TEAMWORK it is no "lone genius in a lab" anymore it requires communication and social skills 😭 I'm so tired

this post inspired by seeing people already hoping for Bellara to be an absolute airhead. it's not cute anymore!!! put that one on someone else!!!

[arzner]

Maybe I just notice it more now that I'm in my 30s, but it seems like in so many different places I read just for casual conversation/gossip, people seem absolutely fixated on believing that women need to act in a ~certain way~ once they hit 30. You have to put away all "frivolous" hobbies and interests, you can't have any fun anymore, you have to be extremely mature and sure of yourself and never petty or flawed, you have to have Settled Down in life, etc. I find it really ridiculous. Then I wonder if I'm just particularly immature for my age or something, but I don't really think so. I just don't think there's that big of a difference between your late 20s and early 30s, I don't think that everyone needs to be on the same timetable or doing the same things in life anyway, and obviously I certainly don't think that women need to be hidden away at home raising children and serving men and doing nothing for themselves or whatever it is these people think women "need" to be doing by a certain age.

I don't want to pin this on any one group or start any silly generation wars, but it does seem like a lot of this comes from people a generation or so younger than me...which I guess is somewhat natural: when you're really young you sometimes kind of think everyone older than you is Old, but in some ways it seems more pronounced in this group. Fear of aging is not new in the slightest, but I've had to spend some time with people about a decade younger than me lately (when usually I find myself around people my own age or older) and they seem really fixated on ages even down to thinking, for example, that a 24-year-old is markedly older than a 22-year-old, and they talk about age constantly. Maybe it's just the particular people I've been around. I don't know. It's just not something I remember my peers being as obsessed with when we were their age. I remember thinking that everyone within about five years of my age was the same as me when I was in my 20s.

It's all been bothering me lately, and I should probably just ignore it, but I guess it's hitting me at a time when I finally felt like I'd mostly gotten over all the fears and insecurities about aging, and it's sort of dragging me right back. It also depresses me that so many people, even self-proclaimed progressives, truly think that women don't deserve to live our lives for ourselves...and that having hobbies and interests past a certain age is pathetic, that spending any time online past a certain age is inappropriate, that our only purpose in life is settling down with a bunch of babies and a husband. They may know better than to say this so explicitly, but it's clear that this is what they believe deep down.

Maybe people want to believe that something mystical happens the day you turn 30, but it really doesn't. You don't change overnight, you don't unlock any secret wisdom, you aren't suddenly ancient... You're the same person you were the night before when you were 29. It's also frustrating that so many people think having kids and/or marrying men is the only path to "maturity" for women. I know plenty of immature parents and plenty of mature childfree people, plenty of 30-somethings who are totally unsure of themselves and plenty of 20-somethings who are quite mature... I don't say any of this to discourage growth or encourage immaturity and helplessness in adults -- I just think there are so many different ways to live your life, and I'm deeply tired of running into these totally regressive, sexist attitudes lately. Way too many people have such strange ideas about what a woman in her 30s "should" be. Maybe they haven't been around enough people in their 30s, but we're as varied as people in their 20s are.

[askmommylonglegs]

Helloo..

This is the post everyone's probably wondering about. I know it's a little long, but you guys deserve the context. Please read it all the way through. I'm also not looking to start beef, so with this explanation, if you know some of the people I'm talking about, I ask you not to contact them about this. It's not worth the fight. I'm just tired. I will not be continuing this blog. I know I don't have very many posts here, and I'm sorry to those of you who I upset with this post... but trust me, there's a reason I'm making it. So, I started this blog as a fun side-project, hoping to have fun with it. I eventually got overwhelmed with quite a few things, one of which being my new job and another of which being my schoolwork. I lost all motivation to draw this blog, and I started focusing more on wanting to further my career. So, this became kind of... not fun very quick. I also was offered money to sell the specific dubbing rights to this blog to someone, which I originally accepted, but the initial conversation also kind of... soured me. It wasn't the person approaching me's fault, but the fact I actually got so overwhelmed with the "why you should let us dub it instead of ___" part that I started crying may have had something to do with it. I tried to do other ask series stuff after this on the main channel I work on, but time and time again I was discouraged from doing so by different people. The last one I wanted to work on, "ASK THE LAMB" (Cult of the Lamb inspired), I was actually kind of... barred from doing so, because someone else (the same person who approached me about this blog), approached me saying they had the idea first... but that they just never posted about it. And because they managed to chug the whole thing out in a week and sweet-talk me a bit in DM's, I just... couldn't do it. I felt defeated and belittled by someone bigger than me. The project was cancelled, because for the third time I felt I could do nothing. I felt helpless. And that extended to this blog as well. It feels bad being practically barred from creating something within the first two weeks because someone bigger than you takes the idea then claims they did it first. And so I decided I won't do any more ask blogs. Instead, I'll revive my presence on Tumblr on my main blog, which I'll link to in a separate post. On that blog, I can promise you all I will draw at least one Mommy Long Legs piece. Kind of a last hurrah type thing. --- TLDR: I won't be continuing this blog because of school, work, and life obligations, as well as my self-esteem as an artist being driven into the mud by someone with 10x my follower count telling me an idea that I posted about first was their idea that they "just hadn't posted about yet." But you guys can find me on my other socials that will be linked in the next post. Also, I will leave this blog up for now, but I will not be answering asks anymore. I'm sorry. Again, thank you all for the love and support. I apologize for you all having to wait this long for something that I should have just.. said. Catch you all on the flip. <3 -DottDraws

[vertical-dreams]

11.08.23

a post to vent

I tire of it all so easily. I wonder if I'm just lazy, as I've been told. I wonder if I'm depressed (it runs in the family, you know). Maybe some of those. But I also remember that a plant's ability to thrive is based on its environment.

I love everyone in my life and I am so grateful for the people and things that I have in my life.

It upsets me when I am mocked and ridiculed. I avoided a job for so long, which I must take accountability for. It was influenced by people telling me to focus on school, that I might not do well managing both, which fed into my fear of losing my scholarship. But I traded independence for security.

Maybe the mocking is just a rite of passage. Maybe it is out of love. But should love ever make one feel so deflated, so defeated by life, so embarrassed? I lack confidence, and I don't think the consistent ridiculing has ever helped. Ridiculed for not having a job (by the same people who discouraged me to get one) made me feel crazy, ashamed, and little. A small little sprout being trampled on before reaching its potential. Leaving school on the weekends, then the evenings, because family were 'crying themselves to sleep' over how much they missed me. And me, being afraid that if I didn't come back, they'd seek solace elsewhere, like an abusive ex. I felt the weight of too much responsibility that I did not prompt or otherwise instigate. Then, made fun of at school for not being there. It was hard to feel comfort.

Looking after my family, despite them being pretty independent. They still have a tendency to put themselves in dangerous situations, so I have been a watchful eye and a helping hand (at some points, I hope, though it seems by their reactions that perhaps I am not much help at all). Does everyone and no one need me? Staying at home for my final semester for money from the school (that I did not receive) and to appease my family and to maintain my own comfort. Being berated for not wanting to go in public as much, not having a job, having thoughts and opinions that dared to be different. It breaks my heart to hear that my opinions are stupid, that I don't know what I'm talking about, and that I should shut the fuck up. It makes me sad.

It is also a lack of privacy. Being an adult but fearful of dating because I know I will face criticism and questions for going out and meeting new people. It is learned helplessness, as I avoid trying things because I know someone else will not be satisfied with my work, and I will receive an earful.

Maybe that is what independence is, learning to rely on yourself and not the words of others too much. Maybe I am the only one who will push myself, kindly and gently, out of my comfort zone (without backlash, because I deserve politeness and decency). I deserve everything I want in life. Just keep trying to spread love.

[wernerherzogs]

Będzie o "polityce". A tak naprawdę będzie o LGBT. Czyli o ludziach. Urzędujący prezydent zaproponował dzisiaj swoją "kartę rodziny", w której zadeklarował, w ramach propagandowego chwytu walkę z "ideologią LGBT". I teraz tak, odcedźmy na chwilę propagandę, medialną sieczkę, dochodzący zewsząd jazgot. Bo to, co kryje się za tym terminem, "walki z ideologią LGBT", jest głupie, przykre i nieludzkie. Nie ma czegoś takiego jak "ideologia LGBT". Nigdy nie było. LGBT nie jest żadną polityczną wykładnią, myślą, jak marksizm, liberalizm, faszyzm, etc. LGBT to ludzie. Ludzie którzy nie walczą o żadne przywileje - bo szacunek i możliwość kochania kogo się chce to nie jest żaden przywilej, to podstawowe prawo człowieka. Ludzie, którzy nie chcą ukrywać swojej tożsamości i bać się przemocy, agresji, wykluczenia z powodu tego, kim są. Przywilej to coś innego, przywilej to specjalne traktowanie, na przykład - zwolnienie z podatków. A wiecie, ktow Polsce nie płaci podatków? Za pojęciem "ideologii LGBT" kryje się dosyć straszna i głupia idea, że homoseksualizm jest czymś, do czego można kogoś przekonać, nakłonić, zdeprawować, że w homoseksualistę można kogoś zamienić. I odwrotnie - w wierze w "ideologię LGBT" kryje się też jeszcze bardziej złowieszczy pogląd, że homoseksualizm można cofnąć, naprawić, wyleczyć. Jest to pogląd nie mający żadnych podstaw ani biologicznych, ani psychologicznych, ani socjologicznych. Wiara w to, że homoseksualizm jest cechą nabytą, ma tyle samo podstaw, co wiara w zbawienną moc żył wodnych, lewoskrętnej witaminy C, czy płaskoziemstwo. Jest de facto, foliarstwem - jednak o tyle groźnym, że w przeciwieństwie do wiary w zbawienne możliwości witaminy C, skutkującym potworną krzywdą wielu ludzi. Nie można nikogo zmienić w homoseksualistę. Ze skłonnościami homoseksualnymi człowiek się rodzi, i ma je do końca życia. Nikt za to nie rodzi się z lękiem, nietolerancją, uprzedzeniem. Te cechy się nabywa. Za pojęciem "ideologii LGBT" kryje się też ciche zrównywanie homoseksualizmu z pedofilią. Ten znak równości nie ma też żadnych podstaw w biologii, psychologii ani psychiatrii. Pedofilia jest zarówno hetero- jak i homoseksualna. Jaka by nie była, jest potworną krzywdą wyrządzoną dziecku, zbrodnią, która powinna być ścigana z całą surowością prawa. Grając na najbardziej atawistycznym strachu, czyli lęku o własne dzieci, w nieludzko cyniczny sposób urzędujący prezydent zapowiada cenzurę - bo "zakaz promocji ideologii LGBT w instytucjach publicznych" będzie de facto cenzurą. Z wątków homoseksualnych będą cenzurowane wystawy, filmy, przedstawienia teatralne. Ale to też nie tylko cenzura - to zezwolenie na represje, dręczenie, mobbing, przemoc w białych rękawiczkach, cierpienie, to powtórka z akcji "Hiacynt" - informacja o czyimś homoseksualiźmie stanie się narzędziem, który będzie można wykorzystać przeciwko każdemu pracownikowi instytucji publicznej. Jestem daleki od spanikowanych fantazji. Granie "walką z ideologią LGBT" to cyniczna walka z ludźmi, obywatelami Polski, potworne poszerzanie podziałów. Gej, lesbijka, transseksualista to Polak, wyborca, sąsiad, przyjaciel, brat, siostra, córka, syn, kolega, koleżanka, przemiła pani spod piątki, chamski szef i ten kutas pierdolony, który zawsze zabiera nam miejsce parkingowe. To ludzie, jeden z drugim. Ludzie. LGBT to nie ideologia. Ale walka z ideologią LGBT to ideologia nienawiści.

-- Jakub Żulczyk

[samsvenn]

cw! rant

i sincerely hate tumblr's writing engine. i was writing a really good headcanon that will probs be a future post but with how tumblr resets everything and it's questionable glitches, tumblr not only resetted my work, but completely deleted all of it. The draft is nowhere to be seen. I put a lot of writing into just one post and I'm so sick and tired of wanting to write something, tumblr being wonky and destroying it and feeling helpless bc there's nothing I can do except focus on trying to fix it or else i'll have nothing to write as usual or just not write for another four days to completely cool my head off.

four drafts that had my time and effort put into them either had to be postponed, deleted or I have just outright given up on completely.

i want to write but tumblr's being the biggest bitch rn. with how things are, tumblr honestly discourages me from writing the most than any writing block i've experienced in the year

[mrfeenysmustache]

Some Family is Found

Summary: A collection of vignettes about the Higurashi family, from Single Dad Souta, schoolyard fights, blended family of three then four, and learning to let go and let fate take control.

"Papa Souta!"

Yanked from sleep with a harsh gasp, Souta was already half rolled out of bed and running before his eyes had fully opened. He knew that tone, scared and frail and small, and his body had become well trained over the last year to respond to it immediately.

He dashed quickly from his room to hers, throwing open the door and flinging himself inside right to her little bed where she sat wide eyed and terrified much like she had been when he'd first laid eyes on her.

"Towa! I'm here. You're safe. It was just another nightmare."

No sooner had he sat next to her had she thrown herself into his arms, shaking and snuggling while he crooned wordlessly and petted her soft, white hair.

The first time she'd called him Papa had been a night just like this one. A handful of months passed with her in his care and every night she woke in a fright, babbling about sisters and fires and someone named Setsuna. She'd clung to him just this way, rubbed her sniffling little nose into his shoulder and called him Papa with a shaky sigh that bound his heart right up.

Her nightmares came further apart from that night on, but every once in a while he was still needed to chase away the darkness.

"It's okay, it will all be alright." He shushed gently, swaying her back and forth while he scratched at her scalp and rubbed her back. Eventually she quieted down and then went limp with sleep again. He tucked her back into her bed, smoothed the hair back from her forehead and smiled at the peace that returned to her little cherub face.

He checked her alarm clock and sighed; it was early enough that she wouldn't normally be up, but his own alarm clock was about to go off, signaling his painfully early study hour. He was almost done with his degree and then waking before the sun could, hopefully, become a thing of the past. With one last look at the sweetly sleeping face of his little daughter, Souta quietly left her room to return to his own.

———

The bell chimed the end of the day and a flurry of tiny bodies rushed passed him, giggling and squealing and eager to leave the school yard behind until tomorrow. Souta gulped and straightened his shoulders before striding across the lawn and entering the doors once the last of the children had filtered out.

He'd spent enough of his own childhood here to know where he was going, and his legs carried him unconsciously to the principals office where he'd been called in for an important meeting.

He steeled himself at the door and took another deep breath before opening it dipping his head in greeting to the principal and eyeing the wilted form of the white haired toddler he'd been asked to come in to discuss.

His heart panged at the sight of her, his normally vibrant girl so small and sad and dejected, one of her pigtails drooping and a bright red scuff mark marring her round cheek.

'Oh no...'

"Higurashi-San, Thank you for coming."

"Of course." He replied, sitting in the empty seat across from the large desk.

A pair of sad red eyes shifted his way and he smiled softly, reassuringly.

The principal finally looked up from her paper work and blinked, looking perplexed before adjusting her glasses.

"I'm so sorry, there must be some confusion, I believe I requested that Towa-Chan's mother or father come in to speak today."

Souta winced internally, but kept his expression genial and placid.

"Yes, you did. There's no confusion. I am Higurashi Souta, Towa-Chan's father."

The principal blinked again and cleared her throat, looking between he and little Towa with a glint in her eye he didn't appreciate.

"My, you certainly look very young to be a father." She said crisply, and Souta bristled and struggled to keep his tone polite.

"I'm sure it doesn't surprise you to know I hear that quite a lot."

"Yes well. Let's get to the point, shall we? Towa-Chan has been exhibiting some shocking behavior of late. We are very concerned."

"As are we, she's made us aware that she's been on the receiving end of some unfair teasing."

The principal sniffed and shuffled her papers before folding her hands primly.

"Be that as it may, we can not tolerate violence against our other children, and Towa has instigated several physical altercations this week alone. Unless something drastic is done, she is risking expulsion."

His eyes widened and he sat up straighter in his seat, meeting the principal's gaze unflinchingly before looking once again on Towa. She still didn't look up, staring at her feet and making herself as small as possible. It broke his heart, and he heaved a sigh before looking back to the principal with a smile.

"I understand. I'll talk with her tonight. Thank you for your time."

He stood and scooped Towa up from her seat. She curled into him and he strode quickly out of the building. He stopped on the stairs to switch her over to his back, and after hooking his arms behind her knees she rested her head against his shoulder and sighed a forlorn sigh.

"I'm sorry Papa Souta. I caused so much trouble."

Her little voice, small and broken, tore into him, and he wondered if he might be doing something wrong.

He knew he was young to be a father, especially to a school aged child like Towa. She was barely six, but he wasn't quite out of university just yet, and was far from the ideal situation for having small, helpless people depending on you. He still had so much to learn himself.

"Don't worry about it Towa-Chan. No one wants to be picked on. You just need to remember your strength. You aren't like the other kids, you're much stronger."

"Okay." It was barely above a whisper, and Souta hated for her to sound like that.

The rest of the journey home was made in heavy silence, but Mama Higurashi swept in to lend her gentle touch and Souta watched Towa brighten a little under her attention.

Cookies and tea and an affectionate pat on the head as her grandmother helped her color a picture soon had Towa back on track and Souta sighed in relief.

"Why don't you go and study for your upcoming final and leave us girls to our own business, hm?"

"Thanks mama."

——

Mama Higurashi tearfully hung the picture she'd taken just a few nights before on the wall, brimming with love and pride.

Souta smiled back from the center of the frame draped in his graduation gown with Towa beaming atop his shoulders, his graduation cap covering her white hair.

It's not what she ever expected the photo of his university graduation would look like, but she glanced at the high school graduation photo of her firstborn daughter and grinned.

Both of her children seemed fated to walk interesting paths that twisted off from the rigid one set in place by society at large.

She couldn't say she was anything but proud.

A squeal of delight drew her attention to the window nearby and she watched indulgently as Souta scooped Towa up before falling to the ground with her, tickling her sides while she laughed and wiggled away.

A thread of worry wrapped around her heart then and she said a silent prayer that this new school year coming up for her would be easier than the last.

A new school, a fresh start, hopefully her granddaughter would fare better with the students at this school than she had before. She was such a dear girl with an unshakable sense of justice that she already couldn't help but fight tooth and nail for.

The sun glowed off her little white pony tails and her smile stretched freely across her face, and Mama Higurashi found herself wondering not for the first time if they hadn't ended up adopting Kagome and Inuyasha's child.

She looked very little like them aside from her hair color, but she certainly had Kagome's sense of right and wrong and Inuyasha's strength to back it up.

The likelihood of that was low, especially as she'd only ever spoken of someone named Setsuna.

"Well, time to call them in for dinner."

———

"I'm sorry Papa Souta. I cause you so much trouble..."

"It's alright Towa. I was thinking this other school would be better for you anyway. They have a wrestling team!"

Her eyes still held a glimmer of uncertainty and guilt, and though he was was stressed and concerned, he didn't want her shouldering such feelings all the time.

He knew she remembered her life before he'd found her on his front lawn, that she'd come from somewhere else before they'd taken her in, before he'd decided raise her as his own child, and he had a suspicion that she feared he might one day grow tired of her escapades and be done with her.

But he just couldn't. She may not have come from him, but she was his.

He was going to stick with her no matter what.

We have to go pick up your uniform next week, they have several colors to choose from, is there one you like best?"

He handed her the brochures and watched her nose scrunch up at the list of pictures of skirts with different colors and numbers of pleats, and bit his lip to keep from laughing outright.

"Um, no, I don't have any preferences."

"You're sure?"

"Anything is fine, really!"

"Alright. Well, have you been practicing with the sword you found with grandpa the other day?"

Suddenly her face lit up like the sun, and Souta sat back and listened while she detailed all the things she'd been practicing that she'd seen on various internet videos.

Her last teacher had admonished him for allowing her to peruse such interests.

'It's wildly unlady like. You should not be encouraging swordplay from a girl who already can't control her violent urges with her peers!'

She'd even thrown in a barb about her lack of a mother.

But while Souta agreed that Towa needed to be less violent while at school, he couldn't imagine discouraging her from the things she loved, even if they weren't the most feminine.

She bounced around the room, showing him some of the swings and stabs she'd nearly mastered and he couldn't help but think her Aunt would be so proud to watch her follow in her footsteps.

———-

"Grammy, when will Papa Souta be home again?"

"Oh much later I think Dear. I'll be tucking you in tonight, is that alright?"

Towa nodded solemnly but then burst into bright giggles when she saw her grandmother pull the secret stash of cookies out from the back of the cleaning cabinet.

"It's a big night Towa, what say we celebrate early?"

Mama Higurashi sat on the couch and let Towa settle in beside her before opening the box and letting her select two.

"One for each hand!" She chirped, smiling up at her, red eyes glimmering. It was their long standing tradition and she cherished how much her rapidly growing granddaughter still enjoyed it. She was now teetering on the edge of childhood, a vibrant girl rapidly approaching her pre-teen years.

"One for each hand my darling."

"So... you think she'll say yes?"

Mama eyed her granddaughter for a moment, but her face was unreadable.

"I do. She's a lovely woman."

"Yeah. She is."

"Do you not wish for her to join the family?"

Towa crunched into her cookie and chewed thoughtfully for a moment.

"It's not that. What if she doesn't like living with me all the time?"

"Oh Towa honey, Moe-Chan loves you! She's probably the most understanding person we've ever known. She's certainly taken everything in stride."

"She makes Papa Souta happy."

"She does. You know most of all he wants you to be happy though, right dear?"

"And I want him to be happy too. So yes, I hope she says yes tonight." Towa replied, leaning into her grandmother's side.

"Can we watch my favorite movie tonight?"

"That awful horror film? No chance young lady!"

Towa erupted into giggles while her grandmother put on calm, soothing movie they both enjoyed, and Towa drifted off into sleep feeling safe and content.

———-

Moe Higurashi hovered awkwardly in the doorway between the kitchen and living room, watching Towa as she sat still as a statue at the dining table, head down and pillowed on her arms. She heaved a tired sigh, and Moe's heart constricted.

She'd known before she married Souta that his daughter had many troubles at school. She was strong and sure and didn't stand aside when others were being mistreated. Thus, she was often a target for those who wanted to prove themselves stronger than her.

Towa had started another new school just this week, and already the fighting had started again. She could practically feel the stress and guilt oozing off her young step-daughter's young shoulders, and she wanted so badly to do something about it without overstepping any boundaries.

An idea struck her and she stepped quietly away to retrieve her violin from her room. Towa had not moved an inch when she returned, and in fact didn't seem to be aware of anything outside of her own troubled thoughts.

Moe hesitated for one more moment before delicately clearing her through and startling Towa out of her funk.

"May I sit here please?"

Towa nodded and watched silently as Moe took the seat across from hers and began tuning the strings of her violin. And then, without a word, she brought the instrument up, held it in place, and pulled the bow across the strings. She played something low and soothing, something that filled the room as well as all the stormy spots in Towa's mind until she felt the tension melt from her.

She put her head back down, but this time Moe noted with pride that her shoulders were noticeably less rigid. She continued to play even after Towa lifted her head and listened with a smile.

———-

There had been many times in the month since bringing his new baby home that Souta thought his heart would burst open with love and pride and happiness, and this time was no different.

Little Mei, still so small and sleepy and new, was reclined comfortably on a soft blanket his mother had knitted. She was fast asleep, swaddled tightly into a little bundle, and Towa had stretched out on the floor next to her, gazing lovingly down at her and running her fingers over the soft, wispy hairs on her head. She was whispering something, something he couldn't quite make out, but the look of devotion on her face toward her new little sister took his breath away. They were as mismatched a set as he'd ever seen. Mei's soft brown hair and eyes contrasted sharply to the burning red of Towa's eyes, or the shock of silver that grew from her head, but they both lived deep inside his heart.

Moe entered from the opposite side of the room from the kitchen with a flour stained apron around her waist.

"There are my girls! Towa, I've brought you a cookie fresh from the oven."

"Thank you Mama Moe." She whispered in return, careful not to wake her sister, and Souta watched Moe valiantly attempt to keep her own emotions in check. He knew how much it meant to her that Towa had grown so close to her.

"Let me know if you need anything."

Moe went back into the kitchen, and Souta took another indulgent moment to watch his daughters begin forging their bond.

————

Souta held his smile until the moment the shining portal winked out of existence, and then his expression fell and he grabbed desperately for his mother's hand.He squeezed it and she responded immediately.

"Souta, what's wrong my son?"

"How-" he gulped around the fear rapidly growing and choking him, watched Moe scoop up a crying Mei, silent tears tracking down her own face, and knew the dam on his emotions would break soon. "How did you do it mama? How did you... how did you let Kagome go over and over and over? How were you always okay with this?!"

Mama sighed and rubbed his back, staring off into nothing for a moment as old fears and anxieties swam back up from the recesses of her memories.

"Come inside my dears, let me make you some tea and try to ease your worries. At least, let me help you try to manage them better than I was able."

Souta hung back until the others had filed inside and looked back at the place his daughter had just disappeared without a trace. He'd watched his sister vault over the well time and again and remembered the distant fears he'd had for her as a child.

But she'd had Inuyasha, his larger than life living legend brother-in-law who he was convinced could beat any opponent conceivable.

This time, he wasn't a child anymore, and this wasn't his sister.

This was his child, one he'd practically grown up with he'd been so young when he'd adopted her.

And though he knew what she was, the very same sort of being his childhood hero was, still he worried.

For her safety, for her wellbeing, for her life.

He closed his eyes, and for a moment he prayed, that she would remain safe and unharmed, that she would find what she was looking for, that she would solve her quest, that she would return to them.

And then he wiped the tears from his face, and turned from the Sacred Tree that had taken her away, and he walked inside, trailing pieces of his heart behind him.

[hlvrai-loving]

Fancy Suit Among The Woes

Disclaimer: I am not Spanish. Feel free to let me know if anything is incorrect or phrases are used wrong. Also I'm doing this on mobile so forgive the appearance haha.

Sofía had spent her morning much more calmly than any of her others. Work wouldn't be starting as early for her today, something about her overtime needing to be cut down temporarily. Despite this, she still wore her uniform, kept her hair tied, and applied her makeup before even considering to take a seat and a sip of her coffee. "Another long day ahead..." she found herself thinking, "And yet... no amount of hours will ever be enough, will they?"

To a degree, that's how it always seemed. Working miserable hours all day every day for a decade had given her nothing more than headache after headache and just enough for them to live comfortably. She let out a sigh, it was too much to mull over... Nothing good came from thinking too much about the negative, but positive thoughts always seemed just out of reach for her these days...

And that was when Joshua came by, fingers fidgeting against one another and his expression displaying a slight anxiety.

"Ah, morning, mijo..." She brushed a stray hair behind her ear, mouth pressed into a small smile. "Didn't think you'd be up so early, you don't have school today."

Her son lowered his head, thinking over his words carefully. "... M-mom, I... I was, uh... You aren't b-busy, are you?"

He seemed... troubled by something. Sofía raised a brow. "No, niño. Are you well? You look tired and sick..." She placed a gentle hand on his forehead, only for him to brush it away.

"I'm fine, I'm f-fine, just... I... I n-need to tell you, uh... a l-little something... but you have to p-promise me, you... you w-won't be w-worried, okay?"

And now was the time to worry. But, as a mother, Sofía has mastered the art of keeping a calm appearance in the face of any peril. Of course, knowing Joshua, it wouldn't be anything too serious. He was never the type to get into trouble.

God, how she wished that were still the case.

"I promise. You can tell mamá anything, cariño."

And here marked the moment where Sofía experienced something every mother fears: helplessness. For no other word held a candle to what she felt as her son went on about his activities for the past few months. News about her long-missing husband, paranoia over somebody spying on him, fears and desperation surrounding what one could only describe as Pandora's box, all of it came forth at once from the tired boy's lips. She followed the whole tale as closely as she could, maintaining her calm façade to not discourage him.

By the end of it all, all the mother could think to do was hold him close. What else could she do but reassure him? Let him know she was there for him at that moment and he would be safe... Provide him with some knowledge that everything would be alright.

And yet, here she was hours later, performing her tasks as fears crept along the dark corners of her mind. "Gordon... what infierno have you fallen into?" She pondered, jotting down numbers and dates from a conversation she half-listened to. It hadn't been enough that her son simply told her, she had to see the device for herself. A tangle of complicated wires and a computer that he refused to shut off, for fear it would never turn back on. And then, there were the chat logs...

The woman pinched the bridge of her nose, removing her glasses. What was she going to do? What could she possibly do? Her son was going through Hell itself to find Gordon, and she could do nothing else but work. What kind of a mother was she?

"What kind indeed, miss Rivera."

Sofía felt an odd chill fill the room around her, the air growing frigid. Confused, she placed her glasses back on and gazed up, where a man stood right before her desk. He was dressed sharply, as everyone else was in the office, skin pale as a sheet, black hair peppered with white, and he held a briefcase of some kind. However, something seemed... unnatural about him, as if his features were juuust unnerving enough to make her uncomfortable.

"A long... day, isn't it, miss Rivera?"

"I..." She narrowed her eyes. "Mrs Freeman. I still have his ring, I still hold his name."

"Ah... ha ha... Of course, how... very silly of me." The man chuckled, approaching a tad closer to stare down at her. "I've heard that there was... shall we say, "trouble in paradise"?"

"¿Qué-? What do you want? I am busy!"

"Oh, not at the moment, I... assure you. See, I knew Gordon before his... untimely departure from this realm. He was... an interesting man, shall we say?"

"¡Ay! He still is! Mi hi-... My son showed me, he has proof mi amado is still alive!"

"I... do not doubt that. However, it is... important to note that retrieving him at this point is... around impossible."

"... Qu-... What do you mean? Who are you?"

"An... old acquaintance of his, miss... Mrs Freeman. I do have some rather... good news, however."

Sofía tilted her head slightly, staring at the man intently as he went on.

"I can provide you with... shall we say, a different employment? One where answers surrounding your husband will be... more accessible for you to find."

The woman's eyes widened, taking a quick glance at the rest of her co-workers, who seemed to be completely frozen in place. "...¡El diablo...!" She muttered in shock. "You come to me... offering me a deal? What do you want from me?"

Another chuckle escaped the man. "I simply wish to help. Provide you with closure and... solace. Allow you to help your brave son. Or, of course... you could always stay here and... fret over the unknown."

She sat up in her seat, thinking over his words carefully. A new job? What kind of job would bring her closer to the truth? Who was this man? How did he know her husband? Her son? How does he know her?

... What is he leaving out of this bargain? There had to be some kind of catch, but...

Even with all that plaguing her mind, the woman still found herself holding out a trembling hand to shake. "Si... I... accept."

The man grinned, placing his freezing hand into hers. "I knew you'd make... the right choice, Mrs Freeman." Her pulled her up to stand, the desk and their surroundings melting away like candlewax. "Now, I'll be the one to inform your... employers that you've found elsewhere to work."

"A-ay, where...?"

"And, while I am at it, I'll make sure to... provide you with your first task. I know you'll do just fine, Mrs Freeman."

[frogeyedape]

I'm so tired of people who don't realize how sexist they're being when they attribute differences between men and women purely to biological differences. Feminists, too.

Like, people say the reason women are physically weaker than men is just genetic. Heads up. Muscular and skeletal strength is as much an acquired trait as a genetic one, affected by diet, exercise, and injury. Take a woman who grew up doing heavy physical labor and set her next to a man who did the same labor, and I bet you they'll both be physically strong.

Furthermore, the male/female differences so often touted are AVERAGE differences. Like, the size of the hippocampus, an area of the brain related to memory and spatial awareness, is larger in men than in women--on AVERAGE. Meaning if you take over 5000 men and women, as one brain study did, you can find average differences between men and women as groups, but looking at a brain scan (or measure of height!) alone cannot conclusively tell you if the subject is male or female.

(The study is reviewed here: http://www.sciencemag.org/news/2017/04/study-finds-some-significant-differences-brains-men-and-women and says this:

"Despite the study’s consistent sex-linked patterns, the researchers also found considerable overlap between men and women in brain volume and cortical thickness, just as you might find in height. In other words, just by looking at the brain scan, or height, of someone plucked at random from the study, researchers would be hard pressed to say whether it came from a man or woman. That suggests both sexes’ brains are far more similar than they are different.")

There's an area in the hypothalamus that's consistently been found to be 2x bigger in men than in women--but the size difference doesn't show up until *after birth*, perhaps as late as 4 years of age, indicating that the difference mag be caused by *differences in the way boys and girls are treated*.

Guys. People. Differences between the sexes are NOT 100% biological, and even genetic differences can be lessened or affected by non-genetic factors--like having a twin share your placental sac (female twins sharing a placenta with male twins are exposed to the same testosterone bath in pregnancy as the male infant, so their brains can be affected), or being exposed to sexist cultures that say boys are strong and girls are weak (thereby discouraging girls from practicing strength and discouraging boys from practicing vulnerability).

Sex. Differences. Are. Largely. Bogus.

Do NOT blame society's view of me being inadequate on my biology. Do NOT tell me I am intrinsically weak, helpless, vulnerable, nurturing, or empathetic to ANY greater extent than a man.

And men? Don't tell them they're intrinsically stronger, smarter, tougher, more commanding, better suited to leadership than women. It's bullshit, it's demeaning to our common humanity.

Men and women are more alike than we are different.

(And every other sex and gender, too! Sorry, I'm still stuck in the gender/sex binary.)

[tradcatmaria]

i'm so tired, i'm so done. i hate my parents, they always make me feel guilty for everything i have, they always try to bring me down, i just can't go on anymore, it feels like God left me. i don't know what to do. i'm helpless.

Hello!

I’m really sorry that you’re going through this. Even though it’s hard, obey your parents. Pray for them and He will hear you. God is always with you and He listens. 

I’d like to share some Bible verses with you:

“Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to indignation, lest they be discouraged.” (Colossians 3:20-21 DRA1899). 

“But he said: Yea rather, blessed are they who hear the word of God, and keep it” (Luke 11:28 DRA1899).

“Let no man despise thy youth: but be thou an example of the faithful in word, in conversation, in charity, in faith, in chastity” (1 Timothy 4:12 DRA1899).

“Behold I command thee, take courage, and be strong. Fear not and be not dismayed: because the Lord thy God is with thee in all things whatsoever thou shalt go to” (Joshua 1:9 DRA1899).

“Fear not, for I am with thee: turn not aside, for I am thy God: I have strengthened thee, and have helped thee, and the right hand of my just one hath upheld thee” (Isaiah 41:10 DRA1899).

I also recommend reaching out to a trusted adult, like another family member or a counselor at school. They might be able to help you work out issues with your parents. 

I’m praying for you and your parents. Keep going because God is with you.

God bless you! 

Ad Jesum per Mariam,

María de Fátima