#i'm just talking about me. my experiences are not normal.

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Leona Kingscholar - Nightmare Suit Vignette

"What makes a qualified king"

[Halloween Town – Town Hall]

Leona: You want to hear more about the Halloween we celebrate back home? We've already come up with enough ideas for you.

Jack Skellington: Well, you guys have so many fresh ideas. I want you to teach me everything you know, without skipping a thing.

Epel: Without skipping a thing… Hmm, was there anything else?

Epel: Oh yeah, don't the people in this town wear any costumes for Halloween?

Jack Skellington: Costumes?

Epel: Yes! We dress up like mummies, werewolves, vampires and other sorts of monsters to scare people.

Riddle: When it comes to scaring… I don't think any of that would be any different for the residents here.

Epel: Oh, right… Hmmm, I'm sorry, I can't think of anything better.

Jack Skellington: No, you're fine. Basically, you're saying that you dress differently than you normally do, right? That also sounds interesting.

Jack Skellington: Might not be too bad to have big ears, a tail, sharp fangs and claws to become a werewolf.

Epel: Jack-san… a werewolf?

Leona: Kekek, I can see that making things even more confusing.

Leona: Regardless, it's much too early to be talking about next Halloween.

Jack Skellington: Too early? Not at all.

Jack Skellington: Once this year's Halloween is over, we only have 364 days until next Halloween.

Riddle: Indeed. I agree in that it may not be too early. Even this time, we are all working on a tight schedule…

Riddle: If you were to create a rough plan now, there'll be more time for preparations next year.

Leona: I get what you're saying. But there's no saying whether our Halloween will even be successful.

Leona: We haven't even finished the prep for this coming Halloween.

Leona: I think it'd be best for us to give our brains and bodies a rest to make sure we can even prepare everything properly.

Jack Skellington: Yeah, it's important to take breaks. But once this Halloween is over, you guys are going back to your own world, right?

Jack Skellington: And during the day, we're all so busy with preparations. I want to hear all your stories while I can.

Leona: Your eagerness to learn is astounding. If that's the case, then there's someone else who can help you better.

Leona: Hey, Idia.

Idia: Eeek!? D-Don't just pan the camera over to me… Why me, anyway…?

Leona: "Why"? Well, obviously because you're the Housewarden of the dorm Ignihyde, which adheres to the diligent spirit of the Lord of the Underworld.

Jack Skellington: The Lord of the Underworld? That sounds fascinating. Idia-kun, tell me more.

Idia: T-T-T-Tell you more? More what? I mean, s-sure, I know all his lore, but I don't want to give a presentation, or anything…!

Epel: Right, since Jack-san is the King of Halloween… That means he'd be considered the Lord of this town, right?

Leona: You can't judge someone just by their title. A king is only as good as what actions they take.

Leona: Although I'm pretty interested in what exactly the King of Halloween is expected to do, too.

Jack Skellington: What I do? Well, of course, that's to make Halloween as frightening as possible.

Idia: I-I mean, since you're the King of Halloween, you just gotta hype up Halloween, right? I guess…

Riddle: In order to make Halloween as frightening as possible, what exactly do you do?

Jack Skellington: Let me think. I'd drive a cart…

Epel: You drive…?

Jack Skellington: Or take walks in the cemetery with Zero…

Idia: And walk your dog…?

Jack Skellington: And I'll also read, or do experiments.

Riddle: Reading is one thing, but what sort of experiments does one need to do on Halloween…?

Jack Skellington: And finally… It's also my job to look over the townsfolk's proposals that the mayor has gathered.

Leona: Ah, there we go, finally something that sounds appropriate.

Leona: But you're telling me that the king goes through everyone's proposals personally? I bet there's a more efficient way to do it.

Jack Skellington: No, not at all. I need to take everyone's ideas and bring them together to make the best Halloween ever.

Jack Skellington: Wait, yeah, that's it. The king is someone who can bring everyone together.

Epel: I see. So, that's why you're the King of Halloween.

Idia: Ugh… There's no way I'd ever be able to bring everyone together like that…

Riddle: I cannot allow you to wallow like that. It is a Housewarden's job to keep the students together.

Leona: Hey, now, Riddle, don't bully the guy. That's way too much to ask of that gloomy kid.

Leona: But, huh, never expected bringing everyone together to be considered what makes a qualified king here. Guess it's much easier to decide a king here in this town than in other places.

[Halloween Town – Center]

Mayor: Now, now, everyone work quickly! We must hurry to finish making all the decorations!

Jack Skellington: Mayor! I've brought all the finished decorations.

Mayor: Oho, these have been made splendidly! I'll get these up on the gate now.

Leona: …I thought I'd take a break around here, but it looks like I should look somewhere else.

Leona: I'm exhausted from all the troubles I've had to deal with. I can just leave the rest of the preparations to the townsfolk… Hm?

Grim: OUTTA THE WAY, GET OUT OF MY WAAAY!

1. Grim, stop! 2. Someone please catch him!

[Mayor's face changes to sad]

Jack Skellington: Mayor, look out!

Mayor: AAAAAAAA HE'S GONNA CRASH RIGHT INTO MEEEEE!!!!

Mayor: H-Huh…? I'm not hurt…

Grim: MYAAAAAH! DON'T PICK ME UP BY MY SCRUFFFF!

Leona: Shut up, stop fussing. Geez, it's just one thing after another with you.

Leona: What did this furball do this time?

1. He ruined a bunch of the decorations…

Leona: So, that's the reason why he's got so many things stuck in his fur after running away without looking where he was going, huh. Leona: There's spider webs, bat wings, and… is this a fish bone? How many decorations did you destroy?

2. He snuck a bunch of the candy…

Leona: There's a lot of crumbs all over Grim's face. …I understand what happened. Leona: You got caught stuffing your face, and just ran away without looking where you were going, huh.

Grim: Humph! Blame the decorations for being in the way!!

Jack Skellington: …

Grim: How dare all these things stick to my beautiful fur… I'll throw off all these weird decorations!!

Grim: HEY, LEONA, LET GO OF ME ALREADY!! LET GO, LET GO, LET GOOOOO!

Jack Skellington: GRAAAAAAAAAH!!

Grim: Eeep!?

Grim: I-I was just joking! And now that my tummy's happy, I'll totally help with the prep now!

Jack Skellington: Then make sure you put the decorations back where they came from. And apologize to everyone you caused problems for.

Grim: Fine…

Jack Skellington: Good. Halloween is right around the corner, you know.

Grim: His bones streeeetched, and he had such sharp teeth just now… That version of Jack was super scary.

Leona: Hey, [Yuu]. Go see Trey and Jamil right now, and tell them everything that happened.

Leona: Since it's those guys, I'm sure they already planned for any sort of possible trouble, but…

Leona: If Grim really did eat so much he's full, then there's no way we'll have enough to eat.

Leona: After you talk to them, do whatever Trey and Jamil tell you to. Got it?

1. I understand. 2. Yessir, right away!

Grim: Gweh!? Hey, [Yuu], don't you grab me by my scruff too!

[Grim and Yuu leave]

Leona: What's left is… Those decorations, huh.

Mayor: That's right. We need to finish decorating the gate as quickly as we can. I'll call the closest people and...

Leona: Hey, now, you planning on having everyone stand in a line and take turns going up and down the ladder to set everything up, or something?

Leona: Just have someone call over the witches.

Leona: These are all light. If they carry them up on their brooms and put up the decorations, it'll be over in less than 30 minutes.

Mayor: Eeeh!? But I'm having the witches do a different task.

Leona: Then have someone else do whatever it is they're doing. Halloween is right around the corner, right?

Leona: Do you all even have time to be lax about all this?

Leona: Pretty sure now's the time you want to start thinking about who should do what to get everything done in the shortest amount of time possible.

Jack Skellington: Yeah, I think you're right, Leona-kun. If we're looking for someone to trade jobs with the witches… I think that guy over there should work.

Jack Skellington: We'll tell the witches to come to the town center and have them do this task.

Mayor: We're going with what Leona-kun says, hm… Then, can I ask you to help on a few other things?

Mayor: You see, we're actually facing delays on this task and that one…

Leona: Haah… I just wanted to rest for a bit.

Leona: But it'd be bad if I just let it be and Halloween is a big failure, since I won't be able to go back home.

Leona: Fine. I'll just do a little bit more work, then.

[Mayor's face changes to glad]

[Halloween Town – Center]

[rabble, rabble]

Halloween Town Resident A: Jack, we've finished with our tasks.

Halloween Town Resident B: We're done, too. Oh, and it sounds like there'll be enough candy made in time, too.

Jack Skellington: That's great! Thanks, everyone.

Leona: …Looks like we somehow made it. Now all we can do is hope Halloween goes off without a hitch.

???: For my part, I apologize for all the troubles I caused.

Leona: Yeah, seriously. You can't possibly imagine the amount of extra work I had to do all because of your tantrum.

Skully: However, ever since you took charge, Leona-san, it seems as though all preparations were completed smoothly.

Skully: Vil-san looked over all the completed delicate needlework, and Idia-san provided so much help with difficult calculations…

Skully: I heard you took everyone's strengths and thoughtfully allocated tasks accordingly.

Leona: I didn't do nothing "thoughtfully." I just gave them stuff I didn't want to do.

Skully: Oh, you are most humble. Yes, even Trey-san and Jamil-san were especially thankful for your consideration.

Skully: Because you see, they were lacking in sweets in a greater number than Jamil-san had initially thought.

Skully: He said, if you had not sent [Yuu]-san to inform them…

Skully: We would have been forced to have a desolate Halloween without candy.

Leona: Heh, well, sorry for makin' him work harder, then.

Skully: …You keep a good eye on everything around you. Not only did you look after your schoolmates, but also the townsfolk.

Skully: You were able to get everyone to work together, despite only having met them only a few days ago… Your skill is a sight to behold.

Jack Skellington: That's right!

Skully: Jack-sama!

Jack Skellington: As everyone finished their tasks, they'd all report to me afterwards, you see.

Jack Skellington: When I told them everything was all thanks to Leona-kun's improvement efforts, everyone was so pleased.

Dr. Finkelstein: That's right. Leona's got quite the head on his shoulders. He's a rather capable young man.

Mayor: Absolutely. Whenever we consulted him, he'd always have an idea ready, and once we implemented it, it always went well.

Sally: It was amazing how he didn't even need to leave the town center, and could figure out the situation and give the right instructions right away…

Skully: He never lifted a finger, and yet he was able to expertly give commands… Heheh, sounds like Leona-san is a king to me.

Skully: Perhaps it could be said, then… That this Halloween came to be thanks to two great kings.

Jack Skellington: Yes, it's just as Skully-kun says. Because a king is someone who can bring everyone together.

Mayor: I agree, you guys are so skilled in keeping everyone on task!

Sally: Both of you have amazing leadership skills.

Dr. Finkelstein: Indeed, we've received great inspiration from all of your original ideas.

Skully: Isn't it amazing, Leona-san? Not only are you receiving high praise from the illustrious Jack-sama, but also from all those who admire him…

Leona: Well, whatever, thanks for all the accolades.

Leona: Just hearing all of you say all that is making me feel idiotic for even putting so much thought into everything.

Leona: If someone is recognized as a king by all those who need and admire them…

Leona: I guess that person really becomes their "king," then.

[Savanaclaw Dorm – Lounge]

Savanaclaw Student A: And that's how we do Halloween at Night Raven College. That was epic!

Savanaclaw Student B: I had just as much fun prepping as I did enjoying the events. Man, I can't believe Halloween's over already.

Jack: What are those guys doing…? They should be getting ready for Spelldrive practice.

Ruggie: Guess they're just sufferin' from what we call the Halloween Blues. Y'see it every year. There's always freshmen who're burned out after.

Ruggie: I mean, I totally get the same "we did it!" feeling, sure. But if they keep lounging around like that…

Leona: Hey, you. How long do all of you plan to laze around?

Savanaclaw Student A/B: AH, HOUSEWARDEN LEONA!

Leona: It's almost time for Spelldrive practice to start… You guys must be feeling pretty good to not even be changed yet, huh.

Leona: If you've learned the applied magic needed to change your clothes right here, right now, why don't all you freshmen show me what you can do?

Savanaclaw Student A/B: S-Sorry! We'll go change right now and head towards the Spelldrive field!

Leona: Geez, they're just one pain after another…

Jack: They were all just laying around… But as soon as they saw Leona-senpai, they straightened right out.

Ruggie: Didja see how stiff they were when they shot up straight? …Well, I guess when a lion glares atcha, anyone'd fall in line.

Ruggie: See, that's why when Leona-san's around, everyone's at attention… It's like the whole dorm is in peak condition.

Ruggie: That's Leona-san, for ya. Our king is the best of the best!

Leona: What, I'm a king just 'cause I scolded some of our cubs? That's a pretty cheap price for a throne.

Leona: If you're gonna try to butter me up, try making a little more sense.

Jack: It's not just idle flattery. Just like Ruggie-senpai says, you're our…

Leona: Yeah, yeah, whatever, thanks.

Leona: …Leave the stupid chatter out of it. Time to head to the Spelldrive field.

Requested by @farfalla049 and @raven-at-the-writing-desk

[writingsbytee]

SEXUAL HEALING

TERRY RICHMOND x BLACK FEM READER

WARNING / TRIGGERS: Reader is DEPRESSED, no thoughts of self harm or un-aliving herself. Babygirl is just having a depressive episode. Depressed themes, Sexual themes, explicit sexual content; dirty talk; soft Dom,

SUMMARY: Reader is depressed and Terry fucks her out of it

WORD COUNT: 3.8k

*Remember you are in charge of your own consumption. 18+ up audiences only; minora please don’t interact!*

 *Also, this is complete fiction. I'm writing about the reader’s depression simply based on my experiences and knowledge of depression. I’m in NO WAY saying that this is what depression is for every individual. This is a safe space. If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health please reach out to your local crisis center so that they can provide resources. Read with care. Love you guys <3*

This hasn’t been proofread

You groaned as your phone rang yet again, reaching out from under your blankets, your hand blindly slapping your bedside table in search of the device. Checking to see who called, a pained sigh leaves your lips. Terry, your boyfriend called you 4 times in the past hour. Deciding to put him out of his misery you answer the call.

“Hello?”, you say, not even bothering to hide the quiver in your voice.

“Babygirl? What’s wrong?,” Terry asked, his voice sounding frantic. 

A watery sigh leaves your lips, “I’m having a moment Terry, I’ll be ok. It’s just taking a little bit longer for me to come out of it.” 

I hear Terry’s door shut on the other line, “I’m on my way sweet girl, Daddy’s coming”

A muffled sob leaves your mouth at Terry’s words. Always willing to stop whatever he’s doing to help you fight the demons constantly plaguing your mind. Religious therapy and an antidepressant regimen seemed to keep the dark thoughts at bay. Every now and then the debilitating thoughts would come back rendering you useless. Your apartment desperately needed a deep clean as well as your room. Your bed becoming a cesspool, you slept, ate, and cried in the same spot for a little over a week now. 

Rolling onto your back you let out a deep sigh, wanting to be normal and not a basket case full of emotions. 

45 MINUTES LATER

You could hear your front door open and close, signaling that Terry arrived. You heard him set bags down in your kitchen before his light footfalls made his way to your room. He knocked twice before peeking his head in. Terry’s small smile dropped when he saw the state of you and your room. It broke his heart to see you this way.

“Aww honey, I’m here,” Terry said walking toward you. Tear tracks making their way down your face and silent sobs wracked your body.

“I’m so sorry, Terry. I didn’t mean to make you come all the way down here,” You said, covering your face with your hands. Terry gently grabbed your hands, removing them from your face. 

“Sweet girl, never apologize because the air gets a little too heavy for you. That’s why I’m here to take some of the load off,” Terry said with a small smile. Your  gentle green-eyed giant, you  grabbed your glasses, putting them on.

You brought a hand up to his cheek, “You’re too good for this world Terry Richmond. Thank you, for being what I never knew I needed,” you say with all the sincerity you can muster. 

Terry’s eyes shine with unshed tears, “you’ll never have to go through these feelings alone again. Baby when I said I wasn’t going anywhere I meant that. You’re stuck with me sweetheart,” Terry finishes, with a watery smile of his own. He gently raises me into a sitting position.

“Here’s what I want you to do. I brought you your favorite body wash shampoo, conditioner and those wax things you like so much. Go take a shower, wash your hair,pamper yourself. I’m going to get started on your sheets. Okay babygirl?”, he asked. Your eyes practically turned into hearts looking at Terry. 

A small smile formed on your lips as you said a gentle, “Okay, Daddy.”

His smile widened, leaning forward to place a kiss on your forehead. “There’s my girl. Now go get cleaned up, I’ll take care of everything else.” You nodded, rising slowly, and made your way into the bathroom. You didn’t dare glance at yourself in the mirror. Not in the mood for the thoughts to take hold again. Turning on the shower as hot as it would get you stepped in, ready to wash the bad thoughts away. 

Meanwhile, Terry was in your room replacing your dirty sheets, putting them in the wash, and tidying up around your apartment. He hated that he couldn’t save you from your thoughts, but he’d be damned if he didn’t try. He understood that everyone’s trauma affected them differently. His put him in attack mode, while yours forced you to shut down. 

As you washed your hair, you could feel your sense of self slowly returning. You found peace in taking care of yourself. Detangling your curls felt as if you were brushing away all the bad thoughts. Exfoliating was like scrubbing away your impurities, leaving you shiny and new. You don’t know why you couldn’t muster up the strength to take the 15 foot walk to your bathroom. But that’s depression in a nutshell, making the most mundane tasks feel like climbing mount everest. You spent at least an hour in the bathroom, when you emerged you felt like a different person. Your heart warmed at the sight of your room, new sheets adorned your bed with a new hello kitty plushie and pajama set.

Exiting your room, you start searching for your boyfriend. Finding him in your living room playing your favorite vinyl and watering your plants. You will yourself not to cry at Terry’s selflessness, you just run up behind him wrapping his torso in a hug. 

“Hey, baby. Feeling better?”he asks, turning to face you. You place a kiss right above his heart, looking up at him you nod.

“Yeah honey, thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you” you say, staring up at him adoringly.  

Terry pet your head lovingly, “Let’s hope you never have to find out. Now go make yourself comfortable, I ordered your favorite vietnamese take-out and I’m going to rub your feet until it gets here.”

A warm gooey feeling spreads from your head to your toes. A slow grin taking over your face at your adonis of a boyfriend takes care of your body, mind, and soul. Settling into your sectional, you wiggle your toes playfully urging him closer. Terry chuckles through his nose, making his way toward you. Sliding down beside you , he grabbed both of your legs, placing them on his lap.

“Relax baby, Daddy’s here now and I’m going to take care of you,” Terry said, running his hands up your bare calves. His touch warms your skin instantly. A content sigh leaves your lips as you rest your head on the arm of your sofa.

“Good girl,” Terry said, grabbing your right foot. He began slowly, just caressing your feet adding a tickle here and there pulling small giggles from your lips. Terry started to work on your foot starting slowly on your instep, applying light pressure. Then he moved to your arch applying pressure that was almost painful, causing a gasp to leave your lips.

“You’ve got a knot here, be patient I’ll work it out,” Terry said, digging in deeper. An involuntary moan leaves your lips, the release of the tenson expelling through your lips. Terry smirked, his plan was working. This kept going for a while, Terry expertly massaging your feet, and you moaning like he was massaging somewhere else. You're getting wetter by the minute. 

The doorbell interrupts your massage as a groan leaves your lips, “I was just starting to relax,” you whined.  Terry lets out a chuckle before getting up. Leaning to kiss your forehead, “You’ll have plenty of time to relax later, trust me.” And with that, he heads toward the door to grab the food. Terry doesn’t let you lift a finger while he plates the food for you two. Just advising you to find something “good to watch.” With a smirk, you put on your favorite show at the moment, ‘True Blood.’ Terry liked the show surprisingly, being the first of your boyfriends to take an interest in YOUR interests. What he didn’t like was how googly-eyed you got over Alcide. As trivial as it was, he wasn't going to sit and watch you drool over another man. 

Plating your food,

Terry brought it to you. Plopping down next to you on the couch with a plan in mind, Terry just sat back and watched you enjoy your food. A small satisfied sigh leaves your lips at the first bite. 

“Mmm, it’s so good! Thank you baby” you say, leaning in to kiss Terry’s cheek. He could feel his cheeks warm at your gratitude, placing a hand on your thigh and squeezing. Your breath hitched when Terry’s hand refused to leave your thigh. Instead tracing small circles while you ate. 

After finishing your food you and Terry cuddled up on your sofa with a blanket. Rubbing his chest you say, “Thank you for everything Terry, I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

Terry looks down at you grasping your chin forcing your brown eyes to meet his mossy green ones. “I’m just doing my job baby. What kind of man would I be if I let my woman suffer alone? I’m here for you, I love you, and I’ll always make sure you’re taken care of.” Terry’s hand migrated to the back of your neck, pulling you in excruciatingly slow. He watched your face change. Eyes become low, lips parting, and your breathing turns shallow. 

Terry inches impossibly closer, your lips a hair’s width apart, “What do you want, pretty girl?”

“Kiss me, please?” you ask, fingers coming up to grip his t-shirt. A small devious smirk makes its way onto Terry’s face as he leans down, lips brushing against yours. The anticipation is killing you. You two were practically sharing the same breath, yet Terry wouldn’t close the gap and lay one on you. 

“Please, Daddy? Let me thank you, I’ve been good haven't I?” you ask, looking up at Terry with the doe eyes that he loves so much. 

A groan leaves his lips as Terry places your bowl on the coffee table “You know what that look does to me, baby. C’mere,” and then his lips are on you. A surprised moan leaves your lips as you pull Terry closer, sucking his lips between yours. He grabs your hips positioning you on his lap, right atop his growing bulge. 

“How are you feeling honey, still sad? What can Daddy do?” Terry asks, his hand grasping and pulling at the fat of your ass. Grinding you against thick dick. 

“Touch me, please Daddy”, you whine. You could feel yourself soaking through the seat of your sleep shorts, having forgone underwear. Terry smiles against your lips, “I am touching you pretty girl”. Pulling back for air, you move your attention to his thick neck. Placing wet open mouthed kisses there migrating up to his ear, nipping and sucking at the lobe. You hear Terry’s breath stutter drawing a smile from your lips. Terry pulls back in time to see the bright dopey smile on your face and he places a kiss on your nose.

Pulling your shirt over your head, Terry's eyes lock on plump mahogany breasts and chocolate nipples. 

“Fuck, pretty girl. You’re not playing fair,” Terry says, head dropping onto the back of the sofa. A soft giggle leaves your lips. You slither up Terry’s body like a cat in heat, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“C’mon Daddy don’t you wanna feel how wet I am for you? Just for you,” you whisper into Terry’s ear, finishing with a lick. A small ‘fuck’ leaves Terry’s lips as his hand comes cracking down on your ass forcing a small yelp to leave your lips. 

“Keep that up baby and I’ll give you exactly what you’re asking for,” Terry said, playing with your shorts. Pulling them halfway down to jiggle your ass or tugging them high up your ass giving your clit the much needed friction you craved. You two were making out like porn stars, sloppily, lips glistening with spit. You pulled back to look at Terry, his eyes half mast filled with need and desire for you. You’re positive your face looks the same. Terry picks you up off his lap, setting you next to him on the sofa as he gets up. Turning on your sunset lamp and turning off the lights to create an ethereal glow around your living room. Then he moves pieces of your sectional together making it a day bed of some sort. 

“Strip babygirl, I want you naked by the time I get back,” Terry commands, then picks up your leftovers, and heads back to the kitchen. It was embarrassing how fast you threw the sticky shorts off. Your pussy was talking and Terry hadn’t even touched you yet. As you wait for Terry, you start massaging your tits. Nipples forming tight peaks, tugging and pulling creates a throb you feel straight down to your clit.  Small moans started leaving your lips. The ache between your thighs growing almost painful as you whined, waiting for your man to return and fuck you stupid. After five minutes you almost debate finding him.

“Terrrrryyyy,” you cry out. When you get no response you peek over your shoulder, when you don’t see him you decide to start on your own. Sliding your hands down your body, you’re about to reach your pussy when Terry’s hand grabs yours, pulling a gasp from you. 

“I said strip, when did I tell you to touch my pussy?”Terry's looking down his nose at you. 

“I’m sorry, Daddy I need you please!” You whine, sitting up. Terry makes his way around the sofa looking like a lion stalking his prey. He stands in front of you crossing his arms, a cup in one hand. 

“Spread those legs for me mama,let me see my pussy,” Terry said. Your legs fell open immediately the quiet ‘schlick’ heard between the two of you. Terry’s eyes darken, the color of a stormy sea and he takes a step toward you. 

“Hands behind your back sweetheart, you know the drill,” Terry purrs, crawling on the sofa. Taking a long sip from his cup before setting it down. Like an obedient little slut you put your hands behind your back with a small smile on your face, “Like this papa?” you asked. 

Terry dropped his head and groaned, “I’m trying to make you wait babygirl, I’m two seconds away from burying my face in that sweet pussy,” Terry said, his voice sounding like he was in pain. 

“C’mon papa look at how ready she is for you, she couldn’t wait for you to get your hands on her,” you scooched your ass further down the sofa, practically planting your pussy on his chin. With a growl, Terry was on top of you, hand clutching your cunt. 

Terry started massaging your clit with his fingers releasing a relieved moan from your lips. 

“Unh Terry, it feels good!” you said, head thrown back, and your back arched. 

A devilish smile formed on Terry’s lips. He loved the sounds you made when he played with you. 

“Make that sound again baby,” Terry said, tonguing your nipple. 

“Unh! Daddy!Take your pants off please. I want to feel you” you moan, gripping Terry’s neck. Pulling him down to lock your lips. Terry explored your pussy like it was his first time. Experimenting with how wet he could make you. Sliding his pants and boxers down he freed his monster of a dick. 

“I’m going to fuck you baby,but first tell me how bad you want it” Terry said, his finger picking up the pace on your clit.

“I want you so bad Terry,” you say leaning up to peck his lips over and over. 

A small chuckle leaves his lips, “Yeah? How bad? Let Daddy know sweetheart.” Terry’s working your clit between his fingers, the slick sounds permeating through your home. 

“Fuck Daddy I want you to take care of me like you always do . You’re such a good provider, always making sure I have what I need! Ouuu! Baby, right there! Yes! You’re going to make me cum, fuck!,” You moan out, your voice rising in pitch letting Terry know you were close. 

“Then come on my tongue sweet girl,” Terry leans down and takes your clit in his mouth. Your mouth falling open in a silent scream as your breath staccatos

“You look so pretty, baby. I love how wet this pussy gets for me. You ganna let Daddy fuck the bad thoughts away. Want me to make it feel better sweetie. Because I can, you know Daddy can help,” Terry slips two fingers into, causing your soul to leave your body. 

Combined with his suction on your clit, you stood no chance against the orgasm that rocked your body. “Oouuu Terry! Yesssss!”, you moaned as Terry worked your orgasm out of you.

“That’s right pretty girl, give me that orgasm,” Terry said, adding another finger. You were beyond seeing stars at this point. There was a full milky way galaxy dancing behind your eyes. Terry had a dark smirk on his face, loving the effect he had on you. He loved making you come, how you gave yourself over to him completely. He was surprised when you forced his fingers out of your pussy, a harsh stream of liquid following. A high pitched moan left your lips as your body shook.

“Yes Honey! That’s it!” Terry moaned, slapping your clit a few times. Your body shook and shuddered in the aftermath of your orgasm. Vision hazy as you tried to center yourself. Terry stripped off his clothes and hovered over you, his warmth seeping into your skin. 

“Hey, look at me baby,”Terry brought his finger to your face caressing you. Your eyes refocused on Terry’s soft ones, a small smile forming on your lips. Terry mirrored your expression, leaning down to press his lips against yours in a passionate sloppy kiss. Teeth and tongues clashing in a frantic meet of mouths. Both of you are trying to convey your love for one another. 

“Papa, I need you inside me” you wine against Terry’s lips. Terry doesn’t need to be told twice, he positions himself at your entrance and eases in. Both your lips part, needy moans releasing from your lips.

“Terry, Terry, Terry! Oh my god!” You moan as he sets a punishing rhythm. Punching your cervix with the fat mushroom head of his dick. You lose yourself in the feeling of being fucked by him. 

“How’s that feel baby, can you feel how much Daddy loves his sweet girl?” Terry asked. How he could ask you questions while digging your shit out like this is beyond you. You just moan and nod, his thrusts stealing the breath from your lungs.

“Words baby. I need to hear you say it. You’ll do that for daddy won’t you?” Terry asks, bringing his hand up to your throat applying slight pressure. The delicious feeling pulling a needy whine from your lips. Terry was hitting all your spots and you couldn’t think.

“Yes daddy, I feel it. I love it. I love you,” you moan your eyes slowly making their descent to the back of your skull. Terry loved when you started babbling on his dick, saying any and everything to please him. And please him it did. 

Terry felt like a man possessed, your pleasure the only thing on his mind determined to coax as many orgasms out of you as possible. He was going at you like a man on a mission. The push and pull, the slick sounds of him going in and out of your pussy driving him insane.  

“I love you more baby. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you with the dark thoughts, but I’m here now Daddy’s ganna fuck the depression out of you,” Terry said raising one of your knees so he could hit you even deeper.

You bring your hands up, grabbing Terry’s ass pulling him deeper inside you. “Baby you’re going to make me cummm!,” you moan out. Terry moans in your ear, pulling you in for another sloppy kiss. Terry releases your lips, leaning back to look at you. 

“Open your eyes pretty girl, I love the way you look when you come for me,” Terry was long past close. He wanted to cum so bad, but he wouldn’t, not until he felt your velvet walls pulse around his thick dick. 

“Cum with me Daddy! I need to feel you fill me up!,” You say reaching for Terry’s ears, rubbing them softly. Terry’s eyes start to roll in the back of his head. He loves it when you play with his ears.

“You’re so good to me Daddy, always taking care of me. You’re making me feel so good, thank you Daddy! Thank you for fucking the depression out of…” you never got to finnish your sentence. Orgasm hitting you like a bus. Terry was ejected from your pussy with the force, you squirted so hard your vision went white as a high pitched moan left your lips. Terry started in awe. He stood above you jerking his dick.

“Fuck that was so sexy baby I’m about to come,” Terry said. That all too familiar ache forming in his abdomen. Balls heavy and tight with the need to release. Your eyes regained their focus in just enough time to watch Terry erupt all over you. Painting you with his cum, a small smile formed on your face as his warm release landed on your breasts, tummy and legs. 

“Mm that was a big one daddy, thank you,” you moan, collecting his essence to taste. A moan leaves your lips as the salty, earthy musk hits your taste buds. Terry leans down, placing another kiss to your lips. 

“How do you feel now babygirl?” Terry asks, using the spare napkins to clean you up. 

You place a kiss on Terry’s cheek, “Much better Daddy, but I think I’m still a little sad” you said, smirking up at him. Terry shakes his head at you with a playful smile on his lips.

“Well you better go grab us some waters babygirl, I’m not done with you yet,” Terry said before lifting you over his shoulders to carry you to your room.

THE END <3

I think this might be the fastest I’ve ever written anything. I just really wanted to create a vulnerable piece, and I LOVE how this piece turned out. This is supposed to be a one shot but that’s TBD as of now. As always constructive criticism is encouraged but please take it easy on me, I’m sensitive.

TAGLIST: 

@blackgurlnhermoods @megamindsecretlair @dxddykenn @pinkkycherrish @pinkkycherrish @episodes-ff @kimuzostar @kianaleani @uzumaki-rebellion @urfavblackbimbo @shallipii @greatpandagladiator @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @theereina @pocketsizedpanther @mymindisneverhere @onherereading @nayaesworld @earthchica @skyesthebomb @gg-trini @blyffe @melalsworld @mogul93 @ms-mosley-ifunastyyy @sweettea-and-honeybutter @diaries-of-me @simplyzeeka @kumkaniudaku

[pocketgalaxies]

hello from the past (sunday december 8)! in lieu of my normal friday liveblog here are some things i remember from the daggerheart critmas show in no particular order :)

Uncle Pelvis

riley, full eldritch reindeer monster, just Sobbing about her pet rat which she named gorbachev because her dad calls the actual gorbachev a rat bastard

laura miming her stupid lil candlestick hands and wiggling her stupid lil mesh wings the entire time

marisha getting out of her chair yelling "MY SKATEBOARD–IT'S ROLLING DOWN THE STREET"

the whole audience watching matt's "how to watch daggerheart" video before the show started with utmost rapt attention as if it was new information

"put it in your frigid box" "my body is ready"

"SLIPPERY WHEN WET, BITCH"

slippery when wet bitch made me so happy because it's such a marisha-ism that i pulled out my phone to put it in my tumblr drafts so i wouldn't forget it. it's the only thing i wrote down the whole show

marisha and ashley miming riley sticking her arm into gwenny's body

bethany insulting ralph and ralph sobbing "i thought tristan was just gonna read a dramatic monologue"

every time someone started crying gwenny's hands would creep into frame holding the box

the holiday spirit going "...~whoa~" from tanner's weed grenade

ralph bader ginsburg

bethany's very not secret comic book obsession

"how do you know i was the one who tagged the water tower" "it says dylan right there"

laura going "i still can't believe you all said i was naughty" and travis' thumbs up

everyone going "DIDN'T YOU LIVE IN GERMANY?" and marisha going "YES AND I'VE USED MY EXPERIENCE 'I LIVED OVERSEAS' 4 TIMES ALREADY"

marisha going "we're still rolling even though we had two crits. ok,"

everyone looking at travis' monkey hat and breaking

bethany checking if her vag was still there

gwenny inexplicably knowing everything about everyone's lives and houses

one half of the party crying into a box and the other half getting violently disemboweled by an evil hag

the way bethany said ". no–!" when ralph asked if they had a chance together

bethany's lil tantrums

ralph throwing his own lil tantrum and saying "i learned from the best"

laura trying to use an experience talking to the holiday spirit and muttering "no they wouldn't care who my dad is..."

riley intensely saying "i know where it went. follow me." and then comically slipping on ice with her ungraceful bambi legs

marisha going "matt What did you say you said it so fast and i was so distracted" and matt just repeating back a bunch of german

tristan's illusory pack of krampus monsters all having a little tree topper sitting on one horn

the audience laughing at Every single one of sam's jewish jokes despite ourselves

i can't remember what the context was anymore but taliesin just deadpanning "This Was A Mistake." over all the cry-laughter which only made the cry-laughter more severe

i kept looking at a mom in the row in front of me who definitely only came to support her child and she just looked so confused the whole time. confused for 5 hours straight. i'm so sorry mom

riley screaming "IT'S THE COMMIES" and immediately offering up gwenny because "she's a virgin" and gwenny, 3 beats too late, defensively going "I HAVE SEX ALL THE TIME"

the VIPs doing the little sing-songy thing and the whole cast going "what the fuck you creeps"

sam skipping onto the stage like an angelic little boy when momlan finally announced him

ashley's court jester look in the 2nd half was very cute

someone behind me said "she is so cute" about laura's tree topper outfit, apropos of nothing. relatable

i think nobody in the audience was expecting the character art of their transformations and it was absolutely an involuntary gasp and yell when riley's first appeared. and when marisha described the christmas lights appearing on her antlers like 3 ppl around me including myself went "oh cool"

everyone losing their FUCKING minds when liam did the hamlet monologue

everyone losing their FUCKING minds when liam did the breakfast club monologue

a high schooler robbing the comic store and getting ambushed by a bunch of fairytale monstrosities who are actually also just high schoolers

the concept of a tiny tree topper being able to step in front of someone to take the hit for them. and the fact that every time she did it the crowd went "AWWWW."

tanner's intrusive monkey noises

matt repeatedly saying "it doesn't matter if you rolled with hope or fear on a reaction roll" and marisha going "You Know We're Going To Say It Anyway. I Rolled A 15. With Hope."

liam saying that the hair on his calves specifically was contributing to his armor

marisha trying to do math in front of a crowd of thousands, marisha spitting all over her mic in front of a crowd of thousands, ashley not being able to read her dice in front of a crowd of thousands, laura trying to choose dice in front of a crowd of thousands

sam feeling the need to clarify that his acne was just makeup. the details of the makeup not rly showing up on the screen so it definitely just looked like a rash and i felt a non-negligible amount of relief when he made said clarification

every time gwenny went anywhere it was described as "rolling." like bb-8

gwenny going "hey this kind of isn't so bad" and ralph immediately going "you're going to melt in the summer"

every time they were so teenager-y. "my dad said this" "suck it" "chode"

ralph going "i had my bat mitzvah so i'm a man now, not a child. so this doesn't apply to me" and tristan going "and tanner's 22"

trying to kill a mythical fire scarecrow monster but whenever anyone tries to do something strategic about it everyone goes "NO WAIT THE COMIC BOOKS–"

on a more serious note meeting cool ppl before the show and during intermission! everyone was wearing cozy cr merch it was so cute! there was a trinket with christmas lights and armor with a light-up VM logo! there was a fuckin awesome percy vex couple's cosplay! there were laudnas! there were keyleths! one person got told their bag was too big and everyone in line was offering tips on how to carry all the super cute caleb cosplay-related paraphernalia in their bag, everyone was so nerdy and friendly. the critmas album was playing during the pre-show and the atmosphere was so cute. so many ppl sang along to the twelve days of grogmas mv when it played during intermission. a whole crowd of grog impressions. and when marisha/riley said her stupid thing about how one day nerd culture might become cool and popular and everyone cheered it made me feel so warm and fuzzy.

ok i could keep going but i'll stop. it was such a fun fuckin time y'all

[thoughtscout]

I think it's genuinely becoming concerning how hyper-sexualized we, as a society, are becoming. does no one else think it's genuinely worrying that so many women can remember being a child not being able to google their favourite female cartoon character without seeing grotesquely over-sexualized fanart of her that they couldn't even healthily process at the time, and if you talk about that making you uncomfortable or affecting your wellbeing in any way, you're called a puritan, or a prude, or some other pejorative to indicate that having complex or negative feelings about sexuality in any way is callous or judgemental or a display of moral superiority? why is it so difficult to find art or media that isn't sexualized in nature? why are we so obsessed with making a special and unique feature of the human condition our primary focus almost all of the time? even more concerning is that it isn't just some niche little group of people on the internet, it's rampant. every nook and cranny of the internet has these people, ready and raring to compare you to a Christian missionary if you dare speak anything slightly negative about society's many varying views on sexuality. like the people on Twitter proudly displaying their incest/rape kink (I've seen this one A LOT), because how can you claim to be an ally to survivors of sexual assault, or a feminist, but not even be able to recognize that incestuous abuse is one of the most common forms of child sexual abuse that is committed to young girls by their male relatives, and that women struggle to have their rape stories taken seriously because sexual abuse has been culturally normalized by the mainstream-ification of violent, abusive pornography? why do other people criticizing how modern sexuality enables rape culture make you feel personally threatened or limited in your own, private relationship to your own sexuality? and where does it end? are we going to start telling women who say "no thank you, I'm not interested" to 'loosen up' and 'learn to have some fun' again? are we going to ban women from the platforms they created for themselves to talk about their experiences with sexual trauma and assault? start protecting sex offenders from being held accountable for their crimes, start ignoring the role marriage plays as an institution for male control over female sexuality, start preaching that individual sexual pleasure is all that matters, and anyone who disagrees is a fascist? I'm sure that a large part of the problem is that these people generally have a Shadow Complex, and are still stuck in the "I like to pretend I'm being so rebellious against sexual shame culture, but really my shame is just making me act out in hyper-sexual ways just to be contrarian and spiteful to the perceived status quo, because I never developed the emotional tools needed to simultaneously practice destigmatizing human sexuality while also maintaining critical thinking towards sexual culture, which shows that I'm actually still feeling my internalized shame on a very deep level, and it's still very much affecting me in unconscious and almost uncontrollable ways" phase, which is honestly the case for most of them. I'm just worried for the future, because all the people saying these things are just reinventing pornographic rape culture under the guise of progressivism, and are (intentionally or unintentionally, it depends) causing more harm than good.

I think it's genuinely concerning how sex-negative we, as a society, are becoming. (This post brought to you by a few tweets I saw)

Does no one else think it's genuinely worrying how if you even find a fictional character attractive, you're called a gooner, or a degenerate, or some other pejorative to indicate that being sexual in any way is gross and nasty and yucky? Why does art suddenly lack artistic value because it's sexual in nature? Why are we so obsessed with associating a core feature of the human condition with shame and guilt?

Even more concerning is that it isn't just some niche little group of people on the internet, it's rampant. Every nook and cranny of the internet has these people, ready and raring to call you names if you dare speak anything slightly not-safe-for-work.

Like the people on twitter openly calling trans women degenerates and freaks for having an incest/rape kink (I've seen this one A LOT), because how can you claim to be an ally, or lgbt-friendly, or a feminist, but get mad at a woman expressing her sexuality? Why does sexuality gross you out to the point you feel the need to demean people over it?

And where does it end? Are we going to start calling women who dress a little too revealing 'sluts' again? Are we going to ban sex scenes in movies? Start preaching abstinence, say sex outside of marriage is bad, that lust is immoral, and being gay is a sin?

I'm sure that a large part of the problem is that these people are generally children, and still in the "sex is gross" phase, but I know that's not the case with all of them. I'm just worried for the future, because all the people saying these things are just reinventing conservatism under the guise of progressivism, and are (intentionally or unintentionally, I'm not sure) causing more harm than good.

I know we talk about puritanism and stuff all the time, but in my opinion, it's gotten to a point even the actual puritans didn't get to.

[admirationandromantics]

Teacher's Lounge

Another request! I'm thinking about not posting updates to anonymous requests, and instead just pasting said request in here? I'll tag you if you didn't ask anonymously. It's easier and more neat.

🍋‍🟩 Hear me out, Josh becoming a temporary teacher for film with his own office, he often let you study in there seeing as the campus didn’t have enough study space to accommodate everyone and you become quite overstimulated on a normal day (@b3rryb3t)

This is therefore maybe a teacher x student thing, but you're roughly the same age anyway (maybe 2 years difference), since he graduated before you and has already come out with his debut movie. You're still hanging out with the friend group as well.

Word count: 1,6k (Unedited)

It’s hard to find good reading spots on campus. My messy room could be an option, but I can’t get inspired there. I need different surroundings than what I’m used to. Booked rooms are a no-go, especially now that exams are coming closer. They’re always booked, and everyone uses them. I’ve tried going to the library, but if there’s room, the place is never quiet. The librarians don't care. I get it though, everyone is stressed, and the only place you can work on a group assignment is the library. You have to talk, you have to discuss. This means that I’m still left without a spot to study. I’ve tried other libraries, other cafes and even at my friends place. Nothing works. Maybe there’s something in the other buildings? Somewhere quiet where I’ll feel content. 

The first building that comes to mind is the Teachers house. A large building with some group rooms and many small study sofas. Many of the teachers have offices there, but if I'm quiet, they won’t mind. These spots are usually also taken, but maybe I’ll have a chance if I’m quick. 

I walk down the hall, stopping when I see the old abandoned office. This room is usually always empty, waiting for someone to inhabit it. But it’s not empty anymore. The previously collected dust is cleaned away, the wood door has a new furnish and a brand new slide-on plate reads a familiar name. Joshua Washington. 

I widen my eyes in surprise, it cannot be. Why is he here? Didn’t he already finish his degree? He just finished his debut movie, which was excellent. I saw him at one of Emily’s parties too, which was not long ago. About three weeks. He looked good then, very good. Like he felt fulfilled and accomplished. He should feel good about himself. Not many people do that on their first big project. He did talk about a new job he got, but I assumed it was another film-related gig. Was this the job? 

My curiosity gets the better of me, and I carefully knock three times. The sound is beautiful, hard and dark wood which doesn’t vibrate as I hit it. I wait, hearing shuffling and metal clinking inside. 

“Um, yeah, come in!” 

I open the door, holding the handle hard. If I was wrong, then this would be an awfully awkward encounter. The door glides easily without making any sound. They have really improved this place. He lifts his head, meeting my stare as he does. A smile creeps on his face, eyes lighting up by the sight. I stand still, mouth agape and furrowed brows. He’s really here. 

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite student” 

“You teach here?” 

“As of this Monday, yes” 

I close the door behind me, looking around the room. It’s cozy, filled with family pictures and a couple of movie posters. His diploma is also on the wall. On one surface are many small film trophies from his childhood, and in front of all of them, the price he got last year for his first debut Hollywood movie. I look around in awe, the yellow light making everything feel so professional and real. 

“And by the way, I’m not your student, I take another course” 

“That can’t stop me from stating that you’re in a superior’s office” 

“How did you get this job?”

“They offered it to me”

“Just out of nowhere? You don’t have experience in teaching. You’re not even a professor” 

“I guess my talent shines through”

I look at him and his smug face. He’s leaning back in the roller chair, feet upon his desk. Everything here is so neat, so unlike him. He also loves being able to joke like this, but honestly, I’m still surprised by the circumstances. He made one movie, and now, the university wanted him to teach a course? 

“If I know you correctly, you’ll probably be fired by the next month” 

“And why’s that?”

I take a seat in front of him, not surprised that the chair is lower than him. Oh, how he loves his power trips. The chair is comfortable, and suits the surroundings, but I feel small. 

“Because you can’t keep your hands to yourself” 

“That’s true” 

“There’s only a question about time, when will you fuck one of your students, and when will you get caught” 

He laughs, shaking his head as he fiddles with an expensive ball pen. He looks at me in disbelief, maybe a little surprised that I said exactly what I thought. 

“Who’s to say I haven’t done it already?” 

“One week into the job?” 

“Maybe” 

“You’re disgusting, Washington” 

“That’s Mr. Washington to you” he corrects, pointing at me with the same pen. I smile at him, almost unable to hide my laughter. 

“I’m not gonna start calling you that” 

“Ugh, damn you” 

A slight silence follows, and analyse his desk. Many, many pens, his laptop, a stack of papers and a couple of memory sticks. Again, everything is so neat. It makes me feel weird. 

“By the way, I actually haven’t had a teacher-student relationship” 

“You shouldn’t” I quickly shoot back. It would not be a good idea. Being in the filming industry is hard in itself, but he also has a shot of doing something more. This was not something to take lightly. 

“At least not gonna with my own students” 

“Jesus Chris Josh”

He laughs again, loving my overdramatic reactions. He knows what gets me to tip over, how to make me irritated and upset. Of course he’ll use it to his advantage. 

“Anyways, what are you doing here? Isn’t your building on the other side of campus?” 

I sigh loudly, leaning back in the chair and letting my head fall back. I’m tired, exhausted even. But just two more weeks, and I’ll be finished with the exams. My diploma isn’t far away. 

“Trying to find a study spot, but everywhere is taken”

“Why don’t you just use your dorm?”

“Easy for you to say, you never lived in one”

He leans back, furrowing his brows and being deep in thought. 

“You could sit here?” 

I look up, surprised by the offer. Is that even okay, am I, as a student, allowed to do that? I think about it, the place is quiet, cozy and a completely different atmosphere than usual. It could work. 

“Can I?” 

“Of course, it wouldn't be the first time you’ve been in my quarters” he teases, leaning back over the desk. 

“Haha, very funny, but are you serious?” 

“Yeah, I mean, my students usually don’t come here, too busy actually understanding the material, compared to some” he points at me and my backpack. I roll my eyes. 

“Well, if getting my degree consisted of knowing the on and off button of a camera, I would excel at it”

“Careful, or you might not get to study here” 

“Okay, okay, sorry. You’re an accomplished producer and teacher who’s totally awesome” 

“And you have to call me Mr. Washington”

I scoff at his request, shaking my head. He’s still smiling, biting casually into his lower lip. 

“I draw the line there”

“Fine”

I take up my laptop, immediately starting to type. This was gonna be great. Might have some negative effects though. We’ve got a history. Too much time spent together has usually led to more uncivilised activities, but that’s not something I have to worry about now. 

***

The weeks pass, and I truly enjoy his company, even if it’s in silence. He’s busy grading papers and making schedules. I’m prepping for my exams, writing, reading, and memorising. Everything was going great, and the day of the exam finally came. 

I took one look over the questions, and my heart fell. What the hell was this? I did my best, drawing out a mind map to help me refresh my memory. It actually went quite well, if I do say so myself. Not the best, but I’m definitely not failing. 

I walk down the hall yet again, not bothering to knock on Josh’s door. His head rises, noticing my presence, and he smiles. God I love how he smiles. 

“So, how did it go?” 

I close the door, biting my lip as I turn to face him again. He looks up expectantly, eyes big and round. He rises, walking around the desk to face me. 

“It went great!” I blurt out excitedly, arms going out. He smiles, meeting me in a hug as I throw my arms around him. His hands go to my waist, pulling me closer against him. I bury my face in his neck, warm skin against mine, smelling his expensive cologne. 

“See, you just needed a place to study”

“I indeed did”

We break apart a little, arms still holding tight so none of us leaves. He leans in, eyes lowering to my lips. I know what’s about to happen, it has happened a million times before. In his bedroom, a couple of random bathrooms, the mountain lodge, but never in an office. My finger finds its way to his lips, stopping him in his tracks. 

“Mr. Washington, what do you think you’re doing?” 

“Just celebrating” he whispers against my finger, hand going up to take it away. He finds his way to the back of my head, tangling in my hair as he pulls me closer. 

“You can get in trouble”

“Never stopped us before”

His breath feels hot against my skin, head getting dizzy and body warmer. How long were we going to keep this thing alive? 

“Fuck it” I whisper against him, capturing his lips on mine.

[quoth-the-raven-wtf]

I've blocked a lot of endos [I'm clustering tulpas in the same "origin category," btw], and I hope that they'll respectfully do the same in return when I post things like this. I will never be the first to interact with them, and more often than not I delete their comments from my posts and block them in order to keep myself from interacting in a pointless argument altogether.

That being said, I still want to put my thoughts out there.

Heads up, this is a long one. The rest is below the cut. Per usual, summarized points are highlighted in red for faster viewing.

I know for a fact that a majority of endos aren't claiming to have a CDD [complex dissociative disorder], which tends to be the main argument endos like to use in order to explain that they aren't invading OSDDID spaces or harming communities built for those who are disordered. That doesn't make their claims of being "plural" any less harmful to the CDD community. They are still claiming to have symptoms of dissociative disorders, which waters down the severity of the actual disorders themselves.

Being a system means having a fragmented identity [which is what alters are]. A fragmented identity is a disordered identity. A disordered identity is a disordered brain. Having parts is not typical, and endos claiming that it is possible to have alters without a disorder creates this misconception that plurality is completely normal to experience.

[Don't get me wrong, I'm also irritated by the perspective that everyone with OSDDID is constantly suffering and cannot experience any joy, or even enjoy being a system—because that view is just as uneducated as the endo one.]

Here's the thing—watering down the disorder isn't actually one that matters much to those outside of people who interact with the system sections of social media, because I guarantee you that most people don't even know what "endogenic" means. The issue with watering down symptoms of disorders that result in alters are how they harm actual systems. I've seen multiple systems on this app and even a few others on social media who claim to be endogenic, but talk about having other symptoms of CDDs and having childhood trauma that they don't consider severe enough to be "traumagenic." Seeing things like that is honestly heartbreaking. There are so many systems out there who are completely convinced that they simply can't have originated from trauma because "they weren't hurt badly enough."

It's bizarre to me that this is what the internet has come to.

Here's the thing; if there was actual evidence of endos and tulpas being fully, scientifically capable of existing, I wouldn't be so strongly against their claims. Hell, I've done research in my spare time to actually look for the supposed proof that endos say there is on the ability to be plural without a disorder, and I've reached countless dead ends. Masterlists of "endo-affirming resources" are either incredibly vague, non-credible, or take me straight to an error message [as in, the page has since been taken down]. Aside from those resources, the strongest argument I've seen is that "there's no proof that endos don't exist," which doesn't make any sense either. You could say that about anything you want to, despite currently existing evidence that already suggests your claim is nonsensical.

I am genuinely open to information that is credible, but so far, it just doesn't seem to exist. Anyone is welcome to share some with me, and I will truly approach them with an open mind; that doesn't mean I'm not going to point out lack of credibility when I see it.

In no way do I feel malice or hatred for systems who identify as endogenic, but I'm afraid that directly interacting with endos through areas of syscourse will, and has clearly already created bitterness. I refrain because of how hostile syscourse has gotten, and I encourage others who share my point of view to also keep the hostility to a minimum. I think everyone needs to be more open-minded—both endos and antis like myself. Unfortunately, that's only achievable in a perfect world.

[z0mb13-34ts-br41ns]

CoD Headcanons

guys guess who's back with another headcanon here, yeah it's me. This time around the prompt is...

If you went nonverbal :3

A/N this is coming from someone who does go nonverbal from time to time and this short is specifically reflecting my experience so if it isn't the same for you I'm very sorry! Important to mention, this is meant to reflect being temporarily nonverbal, Ty :]

Price

It takes him a moment to figure out what's wrong. He doesn't like seeing you startled, and because of his naturally protective nature he feels like he can't leave you alone. Eventually, after some very quick Google searches, he understands what's going on and tries his best to help you feel comfortable.

Soap

At first he's really concerned, he feels like it's his fault and that he should have noticed the signs earlier. When you start talking again he keeps asking you to make sure he didn't upset you and asks you what he should do if it happens again. He hugs you constantly for a while afterwards, trying to make it up to you.

Gaz

Gaz is really sad, he can't help it when he knows you're feeling overstimulated and upset. He tries his best to get you out of whatever situation you are in and then sits silently next to you, not knowing what to do.

Ghost

He doesn't even notice for a while, not until he makes some sarcastic remark and you don't respond. He just raised an eyebrow and sits there in silence with you until you question him about it later and he just shrugs it off. He didn't realize anything was wrong, he just thought you gave up with trying to make him say something that wasn't snarky.

Makarov

as much as I want to make him silly because he's my favorite I vow to be realistic </3 Bonus with nice Makarov in the end :3 Realistically, he'd be mad. At first, slightly annoyed, sure, but this man's temper rises fast. When you try to explain it to him later that you just couldn't speak, he brushes you off and gives you the silent treatment for a while, before he realises how petty he's being and goes back to normal.

Graves

Graves is always talking so he notices fast. The second you don't laugh at one of his corny jokes, or greet one of the shadows, he's holding you close and asking what is wrong. He knows it's not his fault, nothing could be his fault, so he isn't too worried. Whatever it was though, he will get rid of it as fast as physically possible, usually with force.

König

He's definitely worried, but more than that, he's confused. He doesn't really know what to do. He ends up sitting there quietly, staring at you and hoping you'll start talking again. In the end he ends up more anxious than you.

Bonus Makarov :3

He tries to be upset with you, this is not behavior he should be condoning, but he can't stand to see the one person he cares about, even slightly, upset. He uses his power to get you into a quiet room, alone with him, and gets you everything he thinks you need. A blanket, water, hugs, anything until you start talking again. And when you apologize he tells you to stop, it was the stupid Konni's fault, you will not apologize for their mistake.

[bujnik]

1:00pm

Can we talk about Secret Santa disappointment again?

I'm sure I've complained about this same thing in years past but it keeps happening and this is the only place where I can vent without backlash and judgement. I mean maybe people do judge but it's tumblr so wtf do I care.

I've never had a positive Secret Santa experience, which is wild because I feel like I'm a really easy person to buy for. I'm vocal about my interests and I genuinely enjoy nonsense things. You could get me socks and I'd be stoked. But once again I'm left disappointed.

This time I didn't get a gift at all. My Santa was someone who only plays with us every once in a while because he travels a lot for work. He wouldn't normally be included but he's the host's husband and inserts himself into things when he is around then vanishes for months. So while everyone was opening their stuff I just sat there. His wife even apologized and assured me "he's just really busy".

Feels shitty when you're not even worth 5 minutes of someone's time.

[theshiftingwitch]

hi just saw your post about your shifting and manifesting experiences and wanted to ask a question but i’m not 100% how to say it so i’ll try! you along with someone else i know who shifted said they never had a “omfg i shifted” moment and were just their DR self until they shifted back. it’s almost a little mind boggling because on shifttok (i know shhh) i saw so many videos of people pissing themselves when they shifted and freaking out in their DRs or making scenarios about it etc. i apologize if you did answer this question and i didn’t see it but was there any moment where you were like yay i shifted this is cool and how/when did you decide to go back? i’m really not sure how to phrase this but if you didn’t realize in the moment while in your DR that you shifted, was the enjoyment of the shifting experience after you came back? like do the memories make you want to come back or? like if it is just normal life for you there is the excitement when you come back and remember all the stuff you did and the people you saw? (sorry if this is confusing)

The moment where I was like "oh my God yes I finally shifted oh my God it happened oh my God yay" was when I shifted back to this reality.

And it's not like I didn't know I shifted when I was in my other reality, the knowledge is there. You know when you're in your desired reality that you have shifted, you know that your awareness came from another reality, but it's not this mind-boggling earth-shattering mind blowing thought at the forefront of your mind. Your mind is working as it normally would, you're thinking about what you're going to do that day, you're thinking about your job or your school or and your friends and your meals and your plans... The experience is very normal while you're there and while you know that you shifted you're not relating the experience back to your current reality self, it is completely taken over by your desired reality self.

I never had a moment where I was like freaking out, looking at people in my desired reality and saying oh my God I'm so grateful to be here it took me so long to be here, this is surreal I can't believe I finally did it, I can't wait to shift back and tell everyone about this. Oh this moment is coming up because I scripted it or oh this moment is exactly how I imagined it to be in my cr.

None of that happened to me. And remember, all of this is my own personal experience.

Also, I never had this moment where I was looking in the mirror and thinking about how different I look to my current reality self or thinking about how foreign my body or my face felt. Everything felt very normal, like I have been that person my entire life, like I have been seeing that face and that body in the mirror my entire life. Like I have been seeing those people, interacting with them and talking to them and hanging out with them my entire life. It was only when I shifted back that the excitement took over. Because I feel like only your current reality self is going to relate to how exciting it was to finally shift because only your current reality self was trying for so long. Your desired reality selves have the awareness that you shifted but they do not share the experience because to them it was their life all along.

I have no idea of this made any modicum of sense at all, but I sure hope it did.

Happy Shifting ❤️

[feferipeixes]

vent

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

hope you feel better soon!

I am riddled with ailments, but I stay silly!

[lunarharp]

post that reads like a mood swing

[calypsolemon]

Everyone on this website talks about the choice to not have children to end the terrible cycle of familial abuse or whatever but I feel like nobody on here wants to talk about the more mundane and pressing reality of wanting children but being paralyzed by the understanding that bringing them into our current society inherently means traumatizing them in some small way simply because there are no good options.

Like. Dont want to put a child through public school because public school sucks, but homeschool is isolating and private school is not an option for ppl with no money. Dont want to raise a child with a forced gender but attempting to raise a child neutrally may socially isolate them or cause authorities to question your parenting methods. Don't want to raise a child in an isolated suburb where they have nowhere to travel independantly but affordable housing with ample room for families in city environments are basically nonexistent.

It can be hard not to feel judgemental of yourself for wanting to bring a child into the world at all under these conditions. Unlike with refusing to continue the "cursed bloodline" or whatever, there's just no personal pride one can take in deciding not to have kids because the world would force me to make choices that hurt them irregardless of my desires.

[carouselunique]

Is it true that there's no animosity between you and... you know, you know who. You never talk about her in any way. I guess I'm curious. You guys seemed like really close friends and then just weren't friends at all. And there was some stuff she said that seemed very targeted at you...

I don't know if she feels any animosity toward me or not any more. Our mutual friends have said she doesn't and I take them on their word in that regard, assuming that if they have an answer for me it's because they're aware how she feels. I wouldn't know and it's not my place to put words in her mouth.

I haven't spoken to her/about her in a long time and the only time she even crosses my mind is when people bring her up to me. As for me feeling any animosity? I'll admit my feelings on her these days are complicated and way too nuance-core for people who aren't my friends to hear about but I wouldn't call them animosity in any way. I inherently want people my friends care about to live well because I care about my friends, and anyone my friends care about by proxy and I still share friends with her. I would never wish ill on people my friends care about so animosity doesn't fit into that by definition. I'd say I'm hurt more than anything and even then I've worked through a lot of it with trusted friends who have helped me deal with my emotions in a healthy way.

(Besides, my own life struggles keep me from even being able to invest time into animosity. I have to expend that energy loving my family, doing my best to support them during our struggles. And I've never been a hateful person it isn't in me. I would rather play 'Hot To Go' by Chappell Roan and teach my dad how to do the hand gestures to help him strengthen his muscles again than focus on hating anyone...)

I try not to think about her because it hurts. I often think that people forget that I'm a real person outside of her sphere, and that I wouldn't want to talk about what happened because I truly did consider her a friend for a long time. And when someone I consider a friend appears to not regard me with care any more suddenly and I don't even have closure on that... well... it hurts... A lot. Of course I never talk about it.

And I'm not stupid, I have seen some stuff she's said that I've gathered was about me. I remind myself that she has a right to vent in her own spaces and I truly mean that... it's just a shame that her own spaces have people who then have taken these things to me to show me (after all, I wouldn't have even seen these things myself if not for third-party anons going 'this u?') saying it is my own fault because I was a terribly cruel friend or my own fault for not listening to warnings about her when I had the chance and that makes me a stupid gullible bitch. You lot haven't seen some of the awful shit about me from some of her more ravenous fans and haters I've seen over the years that I've had to let roll off my back in the fear it would bring backlash - not even to me, to her. I don't want to be the cause of any hatred going to anyone.

Also I'm just not going to ever talk about the details of our fallen friendship or our fallen relationship. That's private. She might be a public person to some extent but I never was, even if I do gain some measure of small fandom for my work one day I'm just private about personal matters especially raw ones. I almost deleted this ask entirely but Idk I never stated that it bothers me when people talk to me about her from my own mouth, so I guess that's what this ramble is.

If you send me anything about Lily Orchard it will not be addressed. I am not a part of her life not even through our mutual friends. I do not know or care what's going on with her public/personal life. I haven't kept up. I will never keep up. Don't treat me as an extension of the situation because I am not in the situation. In the most plainly stated sense of the word: Leave me the Hell alone. (...pretty please.)

All I've wanted this entire time was to be left alone to process everything in a healthy, peaceful way. I'm workin' on it.

[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

'...you know jokes like those actually hurt me, right?'

"who said I was joking?"

.

.

.

'oh.'