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pellucid-constellations · 2 months ago

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If It All Fell (11)

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: If it all fell apart—if you forgot who you were—would you love him again? Would the bond guide you back? Azriel doesn't know if that uncertainty is one he can bear.

Word count: 5k

Warnings: Angst, pining

a/n: Omg guysss it's been months but here it is!!! I'm so happy and excited to share this chapter ❤️ Things are slowly coming to a close with this story, but don't you fret because there are still some big plans 👀 The POV bops around a little in the chapter because I just want to capture a lot. Well, enjoy!! Thank you for waiting for me :)

Series Masterlist (all parts ♡)

Nesta Archeron was glaring at you from the other side of the room. The icy stare was a stark contrast to the warm, jubilant nature of those around you, and you found yourself continuously edging into Azriel’s side to avoid the harshness. If the Shadowsinger noticed your growing distress—which you were sure he did—he didn’t make it known. He only allowed you to get closer, subtly shifting his arm to accommodate your movement.

Feyre was speaking on the other side of you, retelling a light-hearted story about the creation of her art studio. You had been part of the construction and she was more than happy to share that information with you.

Meeting her had been immeasurably easier than meeting Nesta.

“I’m so happy you’ve been feeling well enough to do this,” Feyre smiled, her hand on your arm starling you out of your game of avoidance. “I’ve missed seeing you. I know we all have. Elain was furious that she couldn't make it. She got caught up on the outskirts of the continent with Lucien.”

You took a calming breath in through your nose and shifted your gaze away from the chair Nesta was occupying. “Lucien?”

Azirel’s low tone rumbled at your shoulder. “Elain’s mate. He has an interesting story. I’ll tell you more about it later.”

And you trusted that he would.

Since the night the two of you shared, Azriel had become an open book. He had spent half of that night making you privy to the story you shared—how you met, how the bond snapped, and his subsequent idiocy of keeping it from you while you knew the entire time. That point had sent you into a fit of laughter because obviously you would have known. Your magic revolved around parsing out lies and secrets.

Coming to terms with that truth also helped you better understand the bond itself.

Azriel had explained that the cauldron found mates in equals, pairing the souls of those that matched. It had been confusing for you to make a connection between Azriel and yourself. He was an Illyrian with forceful wings and so much power that it needed to be contained in the azure siphons lining his body.

But then, on a particularly quiet night, Azriel had shared his role in Rhysand’s court. His words had been cloaked in reproach as if sharing that piece of him would send you running. You had listened with rapt attention and pieced together the truth of your bond.

Azriel was the spymaster, and you were the truthteller.

It also helped—presumably—that Azriel had gotten into the habit of telling you how much he loved you. Regularly.

He never expected anything following his declarations and never even gave you enough time to think of a response, but he said the words so openly. Handing you breakfast, taking a walk along the Sidra, in between stories from your life; Azriel always said I love you as if he didn’t mean to, like he was making up for lost time.

You hadn’t said it back yet.

Maybe you’d thought it.

“There’s also a book club that I know has been eagerly waiting for your return—”

“So you’ve really lost your memory?” Nesta’s biting tone cut her sister off. You snapped your gaze over to the piercing eyes you’d been avoiding.

“Um—”

“Rather convenient, how cuddled up you are with the spymaster when the rest of us haven’t even seen you. What progression does that show?”

“Nes,” Cassian chided from beside her.

Something heavy made your chest hurt—embarrassment, you parsed out. You leaned away from the warm chest you found comfort in and glanced at Cassian’s exasperated expression as he stared at his mate.

“What? You all have been hiding her away with your typical ploy of protecting her. Why hasn’t she been training with the Valkyries? Who gets to decide when she’s let out for a walk? I presume Rhysand is one of her handlers? I’d ask him but he refuses to speak to me about it and doesn’t show his face unless absolutely necessary.”

“That’s enough,” Azriel cut through. You’d put about an inch of space between the two of you and the missing contact was glaringly apparent.

“Is it? You’re making her weak.”

“Nesta, we weren’t here the first time this happened. We have no idea what she needs,” Feyre argued, squaring her shoulders towards her sister.

Nesta only scoffed. “Well, clearly, she needs something else because she still has no memory.”

“I don’t know what’s going on with you right now, but cool it,” Cassian commanded.

Sharp features ran over your form, analyzing your every move as the conflict continued. You felt exposed, belittled under Nesta’s gaze, and the fae only sharpened the lines of her eyes the more you squirmed. Azriel closed the space between you again, covering your knee with his hand, and Nesta’s jaw worked at the movement.

You wanted to say something, maybe defend yourself, but you were afraid to open your mouth and be ridiculed. Everyone had said you were friends with Nesta. They had described her prickly personality but said you had been fast friends. They said she had been asking about you.

You breathed through your nose and pressed your lips together.

“She’s gotten memories back, Nesta. We were told it’s a slow process,” Feyre reasoned, attempting to lower the tone of the room as Azriel’s shadows became restless.

“Right. And they all happen to be memories of the precious Inner Circle. Another agenda I’m sure was purposeful.”

That was true. You’d gotten back a handful of memories now, all with either Azriel, Cassian, Rhys, or Mor involved, but those were the only people you knew. And they were all distant memories made centuries ago. You had no new context and had started to assume that this process would be chronological. Sort of.

“We are introducing things slowly,” Azriel all but gritted out, his presence large and looming at your back. “Even the process of getting those few memories hasn’t been pleasant. Based on what we understood we thought it would be better if—”

“It’s always what you think. She isn’t yours, Azriel,” Nesta fought, gripping the arms of her chair in a punishing hold.

“Careful, Nesta—”

“You’re scared.” Your voice was sure but quiet as it silenced the room. You stared at Nesta, brows furrowed, and watched the tells of her fear emanate from her. “Why are you scared?”

Nesta looked jarred, affronted. She glowered at you. “I am not scared.”

“I can see it. I don’t understand it, but I can see it.” You met her eyes and something looked different about them—something searching. “Is it about me?”

The room tensed, air becoming still.

Nesta stood abruptly. You straightened your back and were halfway up to follow her, a confusing urge leading you to comfort the woman who obviously did not like you, when pain took your breath away. You faltered, feet failing as you shot them out to balance your wavering posture. You fell forward instead, the ground a harsh pain against your knees.

Azriel

Azriel was so quick to find your side, any vitriol lingering in the room no longer his concern. He pulled you against him and slotted your head in his neck as a whine left your lips.

“What’s wrong with her?” Nesta asked, harshness tinged with underlying urgency.

He had known she was scared—everyone knew that—but you voicing it had made it real, and Nesta was not one to put that out in the open. In another life, just a few months difference, you would have confronted her privately. But you didn’t know.

“She’s remembering,” Azriel muttered, holding you closer as your body became dead weight against his. This part always sent terror shooting through him, but he was getting better at containing it. You needed him to be calm.

“Does she always collapse? You didn’t think to—”

“Nesta,” Feyre interrupted, placing a gentle hand on her sister’s arm. The High Lady shook her head with a wince.

Azriel watched the interaction with lidded eyes, his hands pressed to your head and back. He knew you would come to within a few minutes. Sometimes it took longer and you were far more dazed then, but he’d be willing to sit here for as long as you needed.

“I’ll get the compress,” Cassian declared, kicking up from his chair with a parting hand on Nesta’s shoulder. “Take it easy. It can be difficult when she wakes up.”

Nesta crossed her arms and shifted her weight between her feet as Azriel repositioned you on the ground. He looked down at your face, the way your eyes moved behind the lids, and then tucked you back into his chest. He reminded himself that this was something good; last time you remembered the first kiss you had had with him.

A turn of silence overcame the sitting room and Feyre excused herself to check up on Nyx. Nesta stayed, using Cassian’s return as her weak excuse.

“How long—”

“She’s okay, Nesta,” Azriel said, voice low. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but she’s okay. You need to give her time.”

Nesta’s brow furrowed and she bit the side of her cheek. “You all have made her weak. She doesn’t need to be coddled.”

“She does. For now. That doesn’t make her weak—to need people.”

Azriel moved your hair off your forehead as a harsh breath left your nose. You didn’t wake yet.

“She would hate it—being treated like glass.”

“I know,” Azriel admitted. “She hates it now. But, as Feyre said, you weren’t there before. This is nothing compared to how we were then.”

“I haven’t seen her in months.” Nesta’s voice was smaller as she dropped to the ground beside Azriel. “She looked so… timid when she came in. She was never like that.”

Azriel let out a sigh and held Nesta’s gaze. “I know how this feels, but you can’t… you can’t blame her for this. You can’t punish her, Nesta. She needs you, too.”

“She hasn’t needed me this entire time, obviously. That was decided rather quickly.”

Azriel sighed again, but before he could help his sister sort out the myriad of emotions he knew she was feeling, you groaned and the sound rattled against his skin. The Shadowsinger pulled you away from his body but kept his arms holding you up. Your lashes slowly fluttered before you pressed your palm into your eye socket.

“Gods, ow,” you complained. “I hate that part.”

Azriel offered you a melancholy laugh and brushed his lips along your forehead—always stolen touches with him. “I’m sorry, my love.” He paused, sending a sidelong glance toward Nesta. The younger fae was frozen in place. “Can I get you anything?”

“The cold compress, maybe?”

“Cass is already on it. He’ll be back soon.” Another pause as you gathered your bearings. Azriel rubbed soothing circles into any skin he could reach. “Share now or later?”

The question was routine now. Some memories were easy for you to share, spouting them off as soon as you woke up like in the case of the first kiss you had learned about three days ago. Others hurt as if you were reliving them in the moment, like when Rhys was taken under the mountain or when you remembered the pain of Day Court.

So Azriel would wait, and then he would ask.

And if he needed to hold you as you cried afterward, he would do that, too.

Your tongue darted out to wet your drying lips and then your expression pinched. You sat up fully to examine the room, still disoriented if Azriel could tell anything by the rapid way your eyes moved, but you were looking for something—or someone, maybe.

When you looked over your shoulder and found Nesta’s frozen form, recognition shone in your hazy eyes.

“I remembered you,” you revealed. You twisted from Azriel’s grip to sit on the floor before her. “We were talking. Or, I was talking and you were… angry at me for something. We were in a terribly awful apartment. I think it was yours.” Your brows came together as you searched through the memory. You looked back up. “You were afraid then too.”

Azriel didn’t have a moment to protest before Nesta had her arms thrown around your shoulders, her grip on your sweater visibly unshakeable. You had to stabilize a hand behind you to keep upright, and even though Azriel knew your head throbbed after getting a memory back, you didn’t make a sound.

“You’re going to be fine,” Nesta angrily demanded, sounding as if she were placing a curse. “You are stronger than this.”

A minute ticked by, and then another. Azriel sat idly by as Nesta held you against her and you held her back without as much context, but just as tightly.

“Well,” Cassian re-entered the sitting room, cold compress held loosely in his hand. “This seems to be going better.”

~~~

A few days after meeting, and somewhat understanding, Nesta Archeron, you found yourself on a walk with Azriel following the resurfacing of a particularly painful memory. It was something from the war—Azriel was hurt, barely alive, and you were helpless and miles away from him. The memory was mostly just remnants of pain and fear, and it had taken Azriel fifteen minutes to calm you down after.

But that was fine—it was good. Because for every painful memory came several good ones, and those memories made it worth it. You almost felt lucky to experience many of them for the first time again.

“Can I ask you something?” you posed, swinging your conjoined hands as they intertwined between you. You loved holding Azriel’s hand—especially after the first time you’d initiated the contact and he blushed so furiously it warmed his skin.

“Of course you can,” came Azriel’s soft reply.

The low sounds of Velaris winding down laid the background of the conversation. The occasional merchant sweeping outside their shop would wave to the two of you, and although you still didn’t recognize them all, it didn’t hurt as much to grin and greet them. A few of them reintroduced themselves with warm smiles after hearing of your condition, but others just appeared happy to see you in any context.

“When I remembered us after we were married,” you began. “Where were we? I’ve been in most of the rooms in the House and I can’t find it.”

“Ah,” Azriel hummed. His mouth curved up in a beautiful half-smile. “I was wondering when you’d ask about that.”

“You’ve been keeping something from me!” you accused with a playful gasp.

“No, no, not keeping it from you, angel. I wanted you to find it on your own.”

“What do you mean find it on my own? I’ve only recently been able to find my study in the House and I lose my way if I start in certain corners.”

Azriel chuckled, his eyes squinting at the corners.

This felt so good—so normal.

This felt like something that could last.

“How many times have I taken you on this walk?” he asked, gently guiding you forward on cobblestone.

“Are you changing the subject?” Azriel shot you a knowing look that had you rolling your eyes. “Fine,” you relented. “Almost every other day.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“It’s a nice path. The street isn’t too busy but there’s a lot to look at,” you shrugged. “I thought you just liked it.”

Azriel brought you to a stop away from the street. “Look a little deeper.” He gestured around with his chin.

There was nothing out of the ordinary, not at first. He had stopped you in a quieter corner of the street, one you always admired each time you passed it. Soft foliage lined each house you passed, purples and blues and muted yellows obviously cared for among old brick and stone. Gentle water could be heard in the distance, most likely from fountains or small wells meant to provide for families. In the setting sun, the houses were peaceful, serene.

Something called to you. It was inexplicable, but you found yourself without the urge to inspect why you were being called. Your power was usually unexplainable—at least that’s what it felt like—but this was different.

You turned to look on at the quaint cottage Azriel had stopped you in front of.

“Does this place mean something?” you asked, knocking your head to the side as you took in the ivy that trailed up tanned stones.

Azriel could be felt at your back, the Illyrian bringing his hands up to rest on your shoulders. “Yes. What does your intuition tell you?”

“I don’t think my magic works like that.”

“Just give it a shot,” Azriel chuckled by your ear.

It was when his lips pressed a chaste kiss to your cheek, stealing your breath away, that you hoped for more. That your intuition prompted you to ask for more.

“Is this… Do we live here?”

You could feel Azriel’s smile near your skin. You turned to face him, his hands dropping from your shoulders as your expression shifted into pleasant disbelief. Azriel’s smile was twisted into permanent light on his face, and he brushed your hair behind your ears as you stared up at him.

“We do. Picked it out right after we were married. We didn’t think raising a family in the House of Wind was very feasible long-term.” Azriel jolted, stuttering for a moment. “Not that we need to raise a family! Now, or ever, actually. That was just something we talked about before, but things are different now and just having you—”

“Azriel,” you smiled, interrupting his rambling by sliding your arms around his shoulder. “Can I ask you something else?”

Azriel blushed, closing his eyes with a sigh as he nodded in defeat.

“Will you kiss me?”

His eyes snapped open, the hazel searching yours with a quickened intensity. “Are you sure?” he asked. His hands were on your waist and you couldn't remember him putting them there. “You don’t have to—”

“I remember our first kiss,” you countered. Your eyes flickered down to the ring hanging around his neck. That question would be for another time. “Seems only fair that I’d get to experience one in real-time, don’t you think?”

“You don’t want to go in the house? Go see it?” he whispered, but he was leaning down as he spoke the words, his eyes glued to your lips.

“I think I’ll have time later.”

When his lips met yours, Azriel exhaled deeply, the hands on your waist pulling you closer with desperation lining his skin. He deepened the kiss in a way that seemed unintentional, intrinsic, and you saw stars behind your lids as he covered your mouth with his and kissed you harder. You had to take a step back to steady yourself and he only followed, his wings coming around your back to press you tighter.

Something rumbled in the back of Azriel’s throat as your fingers twined through his hair. You only had the faint memory of a kiss, but that one was much different than this. That kiss had been sweet and tentative. This kiss was desperate and needy and you could feel the way Azriel missed you in each of his touches.

And, Gods, did you miss him, too. Differently—a way you couldn’t even understand—but you missed him.

When you pulled back, you were met with Azriel’s furrowed brow, his eyes flickering between both of yours. He kept you close as you let out a breathy laugh.

“Do you always kiss me like that?”

“I should,” he breathed, and then he kissed you and kissed you until your back met the front door of your home.

~~~

“Things wouldn’t be so bad, you know,” Mor announced, breaking the silence in the room. “If you didn’t get everything back.”

You glanced up from the diary you’d been poring over, bookmarking the page as you stared up at your friend. “What do you mean?”

“I just mean if you had gaps, maybe things you never remembered, that would be okay,” Mor continued, rising to sit beside you on the loveseat.

She had come to visit you in the cottage—your cottage—bringing you one of your diaries they had hidden in the House of Wind. You had eagerly ripped it from her hands and dove into the contents, barely greeting her as you ushered her in and flipped the door shut.

“Well, the goal is everything,” you explained. You held up the diary and gave it a small shake. “That’s why Az and I asked for these. And there are still people out looking for the witch.”

Mor kissed her teeth and sighed. “But it would be okay,” she repeated. “If you never got it all back. It would be okay if you were just like this, all the time.”

“What, is there something you’re hoping I won’t remember? Something embarrassing?” you teased, but Mor didn’t laugh.

“I’ve been thinking about something you said a little while ago. It’s been bothering me. I talked to Azriel about it too, and I just… I need you to know that we all love you—that I love you—just as you are now. You aren’t a ghost.”

The smile fell from your lips. You placed the diary down in your lap and turned to face Mor, taking her hands in yours. “Mor, I know that. I didn’t mean—”

“No, you were right. We were talking as if you weren’t there and that wasn’t fair. None of this is fair, but especially not that. You have to know, y/n, that the way you are, right now, that’s still you. I’m sorry. We’ve all been idiots.”

You huffed out a small chuckle. “I mean I wasn’t going to say it.”

Some of the light returned to Mor’s eyes, masking the grief that lingered there. “See, there you are.”

You gripped her hands tighter, yanking her in for a hug. “I forgive you, Mor.”

She clutched at your shirt and laughed. “Thank the Mother. Because Azriel wouldn’t shut up about keeping you all to himself. I was sick of the gloating.”

“Azriel? Gloating?” you feigned a gasp, pulling back with a teasing smile.

“You bring it out of him.”

Memories came in different waves as time went on. Sometimes they were quick, difficult rememberings. Other times you were out for much longer and would wake up disoriented and confused. But you were never afraid of them.

At first, the slow nature of their return did make you afraid. You had feared that this process would take too long and everyone would grow tired of waiting. Maybe Azriel would start rolling his eyes when you lost consciousness or Cassian would start to grumble every time you couldn’t connect the dots in one of his stories. The fear was real and it ate away at you for about one week before it was completely diminished.

Because this conversation you were having with Mor—you’d had it with Azriel too.

He had pressed his lips along your forehead and told you that it was fine if you couldn't remember everything, he’d just make you fall in love with him again.

And maybe you were too afraid to tell him that he’d already succeeded at that feat.

A comfortable silence fell over the room as you and Mor continued your independent tasks, you reading your diary, Mor flipping through a stack of correspondence she had brought along with her. The sounds of scribbling and creased parchment were reminiscent of the first few days after you lost your memory—Mor would bring work into your room and sit beside you as you nursed a headache. Hearing it in this context, in your home, felt like it had a meaning to it.

Azriel

It was later in the afternoon when the front door silently opened, Azriel removing his shoes by the door and setting off to find his mate in the cottage. He could hear someone else and mistakenly thought it to be Nesta before he spotted a head of bright-blonde hair beside you in the sitting room. Mor had been the only one in the family who hadn’t visited the cottage yet and relief filled his chest and the sight of her.

You had started to worry that she didn’t want to see you. Azriel had reassured you several times that Mor just thought you didn’t want to see her after the way everyone acted, but his sweet words had done little to quell your fears.

Your relationship with Mor had been different since you woke up; she had been the one person you could trust for a while. When he was afraid and messing everything up, Mor held your hand and talked you through his idiocy.

He was glad some semblance of a reunion in his sitting room.

“Hi, girls,” Azriel greeted, keeping his voice low to match the calm of the room. He leaned down beside your place on the loveseat, pressing a kiss to your hair. “Should I get a fire going? It’s cold in here.”

You turned your head to grin up at him, and Azriel had to calm his heart as it skipped several beats. He was trying to be casual about all of this—about you in the seat you had claimed as yours several years ago, sitting beside your best friend and smiling up at him, looking as if you belonged here because you did—but you were making it very difficult with your pretty smile and the pretty way you blinked at him.

“Hi, Az. Mor’s here,” you offered.

“I see that, my love.”

You smiled again, this time directing it towards Mor. “She brought one of my journals. It’s from before I met you all. I don’t have any memories of that time yet. Very informative.”

“Thought we could go chronologically,” Mor quipped. She leaned up from the couch and stretched her arms. “I’ll let you guys get to it, then. With… whatever mates do.”

“Will you be back?”

Azriel’s heart hurt a little at the question, and he could tell by the softness in Mor’s gaze that she felt the same.

“Of course. Just not when you and Nesta are having your book club. Made that mistake a few too many times,” she teased, sending parting words out the entryway.

As soon as Mor had vacated the seat beside you, Azriel was occupying the space, rounding his arm over your shoulders and smashing you into his chest as he pressed kisses to your skin. You laughed and attempted to push him away, the journal now lost in a cushion, but Azriel was unrelenting.

“I missed you,” he proclaimed.

“I saw you this morning,” you giggled back, finally giving up and allowing the onslaught of affection.

“Doesn’t matter. I spent weeks not touching you. You just started letting me kiss you.”

“We’ve been kissing for a few weeks now.” Azriel only hummed at your words and moved his hands to cup your face as he kissed your cheeks. “Gods, we sound like children.”

“I love you.”

Main POV

You opened your mouth to reply, but Azriel had already silenced you with his lips. You were breathless when he pulled away, all thoughts emptying from your brain.

“How was your day?” he asked, removing himself from the tight grip he’d captured you in. But he still kept you glued to his side.

You took a breath in and blinked. “Um, it was good. Mor came.”

“You mentioned,” Azriel teased. “Any memories you want to talk about over dinner?”

“None today. It’s been slow over the past few days, I’ve noticed.”

Azriel brushed hair from your forehead. “That’s okay. They’ll come with time.” He paused. “Or they won’t.”

The reminder of Azriel’s promise to you sat behind his words. It echoed Mor’s conversation earlier and you fought the reassurance and dread that battled within you.

Because he was right. They might come, or they might not.

Your family would love you either way.

But, would you have to live with this feeling of… incompleteness forever as well?

Would that fade with time?

You offered a soft smile and leaned up to kiss the corner of Azriel’s mouth. “The things in the journal Mor gave me,” you began. “Usually, when one of you tells me about something from the past I feel a connection to it. Or I get a memory back. But I’ve been poring over this book—” you fished it out from the cushions. “—and, nothing. It’s like I’m reading a story and not my own words.”

Azriel furrowed his brow. “That must be difficult to comprehend.”

“It is,” you nodded. “And, that’s fine—I guess. Because none of you can really reinforce memories when you weren’t there. I just feel strange about it.”

“Can I do anything to help?”

You bit your lip as Azriel stared back at you with concern laced in his features. He was already doing everything he could to help, already pushing aside so much so you could find comfort in this confusing life you’d been dropped into.

You watched the way he held himself back, the way he always kept himself close to Velaris and refused necessary missions to keep you near. You looked on without the means to help him as he stressed over the memories you’d receive. He spent countless hours retelling your story and holding you through difficult bouts of unconsciousness and taking it so, painfully slow with you.

Maybe, if you really thought about it, this hole within you wasn’t that big of a deal.

“Could you get that fire started?”

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel x y/n #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #azriel fanfic #acotar #azriel angst #acotar fanfiction

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ylangelegy · 1 month ago

Note

After MAMA awards I'M VERY PROUD OF MY BOYS and seeing Woozi crying, nooooo my mannnnn

So can I request Woozi or anyone after awards, all members celebrating with their partners hehe LOVE YOUUU!!!

PLEASE PLEASE 🛐🛐

🍑 i will really live the rest of my life repaying you.

you don't see seungcheol until the next day. such is the life of the general leader, it seems— the never-ending heralding, the non-stop worrying. he deals with his boys, first, then the fans, then the staff. but once that's all done, he's at your front door, collapsing into your arms before he's even past through the entryway. it doesn't matter how many awards its been. he is still overwhelmed by it every single time, and you are a soft place to land. he comes home to you and whispers the sweetest nothings in your hair. i'm so proud of them and they did so well and they're so happy. as he holds you tight— like you're the only thing keeping him upright— it's your turn to let him hear those words. i'm so proud of you. you did so well. you get to be happy, too.

the jeonghan on the other end of the video call has been quiet for the most part of the past half-hour. you'd be more worried if you hadn't already predicted where his solemness was coming from. "hannie? still with me?" you prompt gently, and he finally tears his gaze away from the ceiling to look back at you. "yeah. yeah, i'm with you," he answers. a beat. there are some things you no longer have to say out loud. how he wishes he was there. how he misses them and tries not to let it show. instead, you give him a reminder that's quiet and firm. "this is yours, too," you say. this award. this moment. these boys. all still his. there's a ghost of a smile on his face as he mumbles, "right. of course. how could i forget."

joshua likes keeping lists. a running one he has with you is that of gratitude, where the two of you try to end each day with acknowledgements of what you're grateful for. you're expecting a whole essay for him after tonight. he surprises you by keeping it short, sweet, and straight to the point. in no particular order, he types out into your shared note. music, the boys, you. hours later, he adds a footnote like it'd occurred to him as an afterthought: i'm always grateful for those three, but especially so today.

"look at them!" jun shrieks. his video call pixelates, either from spotty connection or his sudden burst of enthusiasm. you have half a mind to warn him that he may get a noise complaint again, but this time it'd be completely warranted. he's positively vibrating with excitement, his eyes glued to the livestream of his twelve brothers ascending the stage for their second award of the night. "look at them," he repeats, and this time his voice is more reverent than anything. you could comply, could do as he's asking, but your eyes are trained elsewhere. and look at you, too, you want to say. look at you and all that you've done to get this far.

even though it's been an exceptionally long day, soonyoung comes home brimming with adrenaline. he does dance routines in your living room. he jogs around your block until you beg him to just come back. he sings in the shower before collapsing onto the bed next to you, where he suddenly becomes boneless. the glow of pride stays even as the exhaustion hits. he pulls you against him and cuddles right into you. to soonyoung, this is as good as any trophy: the peace that comes with falling asleep next to you.

wonwoo has no destination in mind. he has a car with a full tank, and a playlist of all his favorite songs, and you in the passenger seat. that's more than enough. you pass through tunnels with warm lighting; expressways where he keeps the windows down so the wind will whip at your hair. occasionally, you'll stop to grab a snack or take a photo of something interesting on the side of the street. after hours of just going in circles, he'll ask, "should we keep driving?" even though he knows you'd never deny him this. this. his little celebration in the form of getting 'lost' with you.

nobody hears from jihoon for the next couple of days. the managers are worried, but the boys all just shake their heads and say that he's in good hands. which means: he's wherever you are. the two of you don't talk about his speech, about his public breakdown, because both things make him want to hide forever. instead— he sleeps in. he watches movies from months ago that he promised he'd get to. the two of you go on walks at night, and have breakfast at lunch time. the vicious cycle will soon have to begin again. jihoon knows that. but for a few, precious moments, his heart is not a heavy burden because it's safe and sound in your capable hands.

seokmin takes you on the textbook definition of your perfect date. a shopping spree? here's his black card. an amusement park? he'll rent out lotte world for the day, if he must. you're understandably baffled. he's the one who just won big, and yet you're the one being treated like royalty. try to resist and he'll only push back on you. seokmin already spoils you enough as is, but this is just a little more over-the-top than the day-to-day stuff. at the end of it all, his rationale is as sweet as it gets. "you keep me going," he tells you. "and so you deserve just as much credit as i do."

mingyu has always liked to celebrate with a meal. you'd expected his usual fare of some swanky restaurant or high-end café, but, this time, he asks for only free reign of your kitchen. he props his phone up against the salt shaker and pulls up a youtube video before flashing you his best 'just-trust-me' grin. your trust is not misplaced; the two of you do manage to bake the celebratory cake, though whether it's any good is an entirely different story. the end result doesn't matter as much as the process. mingyu is happiest about the flour marks on your cheeks, about the kisses he steals while you whisk eggs. it's not a birthday cake, but you light up a candle for him anyway. just for the hell of it. "make a wish," you tease. he's looking straight at you as he blows at the flame.

minghao asks for a beach day. the two of you set out for the nearest one. maybe the sand is a bit rocky; the shore, lacking in shells. he doesn't care. he only seeks out the sun beating on his back, the saltwater clinging to his skin, the first punch of air after emerging from the water. as the stolen weekend winds to a close, the two of you sit at the point where the water lap at your toes. neither of you have to speak. here, minghao lets the tide wash away the ache of homesickness. here, minghao redefines 'home' as a future with the boys of his youth, with the music that is as constant as the waves— and with you, of course.

the ferry ride to jeju is about four or so hours long, but seungkwan doesn't mind. there's just something so right about getting on the first vessel that will take him back where he has family waiting with a homecooked meal and a play-by-play of the award show. besides, the ferry means having four hours of uninterrupted leisure time with you. the pair of you literally have nowhere else to be except this boat and this point in time, which seungkwan is a little guilty to be so happy about. he's a glutton for your time and attention, and these ferry rides— these trips home— remind him just how much he likes taking the scenic route.

vernon treats it almost like it's just another day. almost. you're thrown off by his initial nonchalance, by the lack of utter fanfare in the way he asks you out to lunch and the two of you barely discuss the recent accolades. when you prompt him about it, you realize it's not because of arrogance or ignorance. "we're just doing what we always do," he says with an expression of mild confusion. winning?, you almost inquire half-jokingly, but that's only part of it. he elaborates, "we were just ourselves, y'know?"

when chan suggests a rage room, you're understandably confused. the wrath-based activity doesn't seem like the most optimal celebration, but you're not about to cramp his style. the two of you queue the angriest songs known to man before smashing some defunct appliances and throwing empty bottles against a wall. once your time is up, chan looks at you with that familiar spark of fire in his eyes. that dedication you fell in love with, that passion that has always burned bright. "again?" he asks, and you know it's not just the rage room that he's asking for.

#seventeen x reader #svt x reader #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #seventeen fluff #svt fluff #୨ৎ muse .ᐟ svt #୨ৎ penned by ylangelegy #( sorry if this is a bti of a mess/all over the place/at varying lengths etc. )#( i'm a bit conked out and i'm Very Emotional and i hammerde this out in one sitting. )#( my svt ! i love u ! aaaah . good night )

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tinyfantasminha · 1 month ago

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Thoughts on Jack's dream(MASSIVE main story spoilers ahead)

JACKS DREAM got me by the thROAT bc the more I analyze it the more angsty it feels and I alreadfy sobbed n cried and I must SCREAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM He's dreaming of the magift tournament but basically if..... if Leona's plan never took place....... If Leona actually WERE the hero Jack has idolized...... 😭

First I gotta take note dosodkgkfdgjdfkghfdjk hOW JACK YEARNS FOR HIS SENPAI'S PRAISE AND AFFECTION 🥺🥺truly the epitome of loyal, puppy-like behavior..... It doesn't take much for him to be happy… He yearns for the respect and acknowledgement of those he admires. He craves respect and recognition, but not only that—he genuinely wants to see those he admires thrive.

Seems to me that what Jack longs for most is a sense of belonging within a pack. He’s not just devoted to those he holds in high regard; he also desires to be cared for in return (This becomes even more apparent when he asks Ruggie to act as a mentor or older-brother figure in his dorm uniform vignette.) Jack's actions reflect his innate wolf nature—a being built for connection, loyalty, and mutual protection. No matter how much he tells himself or others how he prefers to handle things on his own… We can clearly see that Jack is happier when he’s part of a team, fighting alongside companions who’ve got his back. It’s the dynamic balance of trust: to protect and be protected, to rely on others and let them rely on him in return. It deeply resonates with the essence of wolves.

We often hear the phrase “lone wolf,” an expression of grudging admiration. A lone wolf is often viewed as a rugged individualist, uncompromising and independent, driven to forge his own path, unfettered by the sentimental need for companionship. In reality, few people would ever want to live this way—and, as it turns out, few wolves would either. Wolves, males and females alike, may go through periods alone, but they’re not interested in lives of solitude. A lone wolf is a wolf that is searching, and what it seeks is another wolf. Everything in a wolf’s nature tells it to belong to something greater than itself: a pack. Like us, wolves form friendships and maintain lifelong bonds. They succeed by cooperating, and they struggle when they’re alone. Like us, wolves need one another. (source)

Which is why the factual reality cuts so deeply.

After Ortho wakes Jack up (in oUTER SPACE DKJGDSDKFJGKJS that was so adventitious but so cool.....) and Jack falls down like a meteorite (ALSO SUPER COOL BUT WTF.....) Fake!Leona and Fake!Ruggie rush to his side, Leona softly reassures him, saying it’s a relief he’s uninjured and advising him not to be so reckless while Ruggie says ''You're a promising rookie. Our treasure.'' (I started crying here.)

Jack breaks into a bitter, despairing laugh as the truth crashes down on him. The sincerity and warmth his “upperclassmen” showed in that moment? It wasn’t real. It never actually happened. Jack recounts his excitement when he first joined Savanaclaw, eager to fight alongside the dormmates he admired so much. He talks about how he had watched Leona’s play three years ago—over and over again, captivated by it. He reveals the painful truth of discovering their wicked plan, the frustration of being unable to snap them out of it, and the overwhelming helplessness that consumed him.

I gotta say, I'm SO HAPPY that Jack's feelings on the events of book 2 were finally properly addressed now (cause let's be real, book 2 uhh... did kinda a shitty job at this 💀 Neither the narrative nor the fandom really took the time to explore the emotional impact it had on him, which is such a disservice to his character.)

Think about it from Jack’s perspective. He was obsessed with Leona's play 3 years ago, watching it over and over again. In his eyes, Leona was a hero, someone worth idolizing to the point of projecting an idealized image of him: an earnest, hardworking, honorable leader. When Jack finally had the chance to join Savanaclaw and be part of the dorm he had admired so deeply, what was his reality? Ostracization, bullying and even physical violence from some of his dorm mates (as shown in Leona's dorm uniform vignette) And worst of all? Jack was met with his idol’s true, treacherous side—dirty tactics, underhanded schemes, and a willingness to harm others to achieve his goals. When Jack tried to confront them about it, he wasn’t met with understanding or respect. Instead, he was called a “filthy traitor” and a “spoiled brat”—by the very person he admired most. It’s a complete dismantling of everything Jack believed in, everything he worked for.

It's a shame the game and manga did not give enough weight to Jack’s feelings, (the novel seems to do a better job at it though) but now it’s clear just how much this hurt him. It wasn’t just a setback; it was a deep, personal betrayal that shook him to his core.

He’s only a first-year. Beneath his gruff demeanor and physical strength, Jack is still a boy—pure-hearted, earnest, and full of hope. All he wanted was to stand beside those he respected most but what he got instead was disappointment, betrayal, and rejection. To idolize someone so deeply, only to have that image crushed in the most personal, gut-wrenching way........ Savanaclaw doesn't deserve him 💔

,,,,okay forgive me to break the essay to talk about this but I'm going insane over the fact fake Ruggie ominously coos, ''Hey puppy-chan you're a good boy so come here.....'' UGHGHHHDSHNGDSHNDGSHHHnnnnhhHHHH HE IS BASICALLY SAVANACLAW'S UNOFFICIAL MASCOT,,,,,,, their loyal little puppy 🥺🥺🥺😭😭

fake ruggie and fake leona try to lure him in to sleep again, but Jack says he has no intention of fighting alongside fakes and defeats them 😌

And we get this utterly precious moment where Jack praises Yuu and Grim for having guts and persevering through everything and he PETS GRIM'S HEAD............ HE DIDN'T NEED TO COMFORT THEM BUT AWWAAHBBBAYYAWYWYHAWWABYWAWAYAA

I can't wait to see what role he'll play in Leona's dream 😌 Jack’s arc feels like it’s finally getting the weight it deserves… 🙏🙏🙏

#twisted wonderland #twst spoilers #twst book 7 #jack howl #leona kingscholar #ruggie bucchi #savanaclaw #shakes shaeskshakesshaks you IM LOSGIN MY MIND..........#JACK PETTED MY HEADD TOOOOOOO NOT JUST GRIMS!! *inhales copium*#THIS UPDATE WAS SO GOOD 🙏#thank you for giving me tiny itty crumbs......#unrelated but the moment when leona said ''you woke up.....poor thing'' uhh that was 😳😳😳incrediblhy..........ghghghrhgrrrrr hgoroh #you know at his breakdown i couldn't stop thinking of a line from phantom of the opera that fits him so much at that moment #“farewell my fallen idol and false friend. we had such hopes but now those hopes lay murdered”#jack and leonas relationship is so complex i love them so much :(((

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allpiesforourown · 3 months ago

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I know I've posted bingqiu actors au before but I'm having thoughts for another one..

Shen Yuan only occasionally acts in things he's interested in.. he'll be like "oh I like this book, they better not butcher it!" and then because his family is rich, he'll get a role. People who have never worked with him before hate him at first bc he's a nepotism baby, but then they see his passion and acting skills and go "Oh nvm, he's actually really good... he didn't have to audition like everyone else because he has connections, but if he had auditioned, we would have picked him regardless."

Then there's young binghe playing a minor character.. he's not an actor, nor does he want to be, but child labour laws say he can't get a regular job and he wants to help provide for his mom.. a 14 year old can't work at a fast food place, but movies do need real children to act in them, so that was the only option he had

Shen Yuan is 19 at this point and binghe ADORES him. He brings him food he made at home and shyly waits with bated breath for Yuan gege to say it's good. Shen Yuan helps him with his homework when neither of them are in a scene, and whenever binghe acts really well and the director praises him, he ignores everyone to run to shen yuan and ask if he did well.

When production nears its end binghe says he wants to keep working with Yuan ge!! Shen Yuan isn't working on any other projects though, and the ones he is working on won't hire Binghe.

Everyone is impressed enough with Binghe to help him stay in the industry though, and get him another minor role, then another, then a somewhat important role, then a co-lead... by the time he's in his early twenties, binghe is a household name, and shen yuan is "that actor most people will recognize but don't remember from where."

By the time they finally work together again it's like

Binghe: Yuan gege!!!! I'm so excited to work with you again!!!!

Shen Yuan: haha you remember me! I'm happy :)

Binghe, who borderline stalks shen yuan: haha yes of course I remember gege :))

Shen yuan still gives him head pats like when binghe was a kid and binghe still clings to him. One time shen Yuan gently pushes Binghe away after a tight hug that's gone on too long and says "okay okay that's enough" and binghe looks CRUSHED so shen yuan feels like the devil and pulls him back into a hug immediately

The movie comes out and it's very well received. Binghes acting was the best it's ever been (since he wanted to show off in front of Yuan gege) so people are very interested in seeing the behind the scenes footage

When it comes out people see binghe being OBSESSED with shen yuan. Whenever the two of them are in the same frame, binghe is looking at shen yuan with the softest most loving expression while shen yuan is yelling at the script writer about fan service. There's about 10 moments when Binghe comes up from behind and grabs shen yuans waist and sets his head down on shen yuans shoulder. When people see binghe saying "gege open wide, I made this just for you!" And hand feeding shen yuan they're like okay yeah there's no denying it anymore.

Then they find out this isn't their first time working together and find old bts footage of when binghe was 14 and following shen yuan around like a puppy with hearts in his eyes and they go holy fuck he's been obsessed with shen yuan for YEARS

The cast all go to an interview

Interviewer: people were surprised to see how close you two are!

Shen Yuan: well it's not our first time working together :)

Binghe: I've been waiting to work with Yuan ge again for all this time :D

Interviewer: aww! Now about rumors saying Luo Binghe is in love with shen Yuan...

Shen Yuan: obviously they're-

Binghe: true

Interviewer: ..... oh my

Shen Yuan: um...?

Binghe: Yuan ge is very well aware of my feelings, I was very obvious

*camera pans over to shen yuan where his face is red and his mouth is wide open in shock*

#svsss #shen yuan #bingqiu #luo binghe #allpiesforourown #modern au #long post

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rosenclaws · 3 months ago

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Hi again! 👋

I'm throwing another request at ya since you did such an awesome job with the last fic idea I requested. (Thank you again for that)

This time with the OG Logan and all his kitty cat hair glory lol.

The reader has similar powers to scarlet witch. Like telekinetic powers, levitation, etc. Can it be a scenario where she loses connection (like how wanda feels connected to vision) with Logan and thinks that he's dead and she just snaps. The villians who claims they killed him mock her and she pulls the move like wanda did in Endgame where she's like you took everything from me, and the villians don't know who she is and she's like you will and just goes full beast mode on the villians involved.

Bonus, Logans alive, he just was knocked out real bad and sees the whole fight happen and was like wow I love her and they reunite and it ends all fluffy with a kiss, maybe a proposal? Lol 😘

Heartbeat || Logan Howlett x Reader

a/n: This was such a great request and I have to say I really loved writing this. I did. go a little angstier than I thought I would and its darker than I expected it to turn out but I really hope you like it. Your mutant name is firefly. Also. I still haven't seen the movies so I apologize if its not accurate to how the X-Men work or anything im sorry sdakfjl;

warnings: fake out death, violence, blood, killing, angst, hurt/comfort, happy ending, the reader goes on a rampage, he calls you honey, reader almost dies, creepy ass villian guy.

wc: 2.3k

"You alright there honey?" Logan's hand gently rests on your shoulder.

You're staring blankly out the jet window, watching the clouds pass by as you ready yourself for what is pretty much a suicide mission. A whole organization that had been hiding underground, dedicated to eradicating mutants.

They've studied you. Planned. They know things, your strengths, your weaknesses. A few people had infiltrated their base and what they found...It made you shiver. Photos and articles and deeply personal information.

They had photos of you and Logan.

It made you paranoid sometimes. Like they were always watching. So you had to put a stop to it as soon as possible. You didn't go on missions often. Your powers were, quite destructive. Powerful yes but not always needed but the X-Men needed everyone they could. You take a deep breath and try to smile convincingly.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Logan snorts and cocks an eyebrow.

"You're lying right through those pretty teeth." There's an air of fear in the jet. You all know what might happen if you don't succeed.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay. Promise."

"Yeah they're no match for the Wolverine and Firefly." Scott teases making Logan roll his eyes. Scott just loved messing with Logan, taking any jab he can to lighten the mood.

"Can it bub." He turns his attention back to you, happy to see a small smile on your face. Logan takes your hand and places it on his chest. Your hands glow as you reach deep and feel his heartbeat.

"See?" You take a deep breath as you listen.

Sometimes you got too much into your own head. Your powers were tricky and when you got overwhelmed Logan always knew how to calm you down. The world around you fades as you focus on the beat of his heart. The rise and fall of his chest. He was your rock. The jet jolts and Logan holds onto you as you stumble.

"Think I got time for a quick smoke before we head out?"

"No you do not." Storm walks up to the two of you, she shoos Logan away who reluctantly leaves.

"We're landing in 10 minutes, are you ready Firefly?" You take a deep breath and nod.

You stare at your hands as you little particles of orange start to sprout from your fingers. You had control of your powers most of the time but they were still a work in progress but you knew that this mission was important so you couldn't afford to lose control.

Once the jet lands Scott and Storm tell everyone the plan again. This was for the future of mutant kind and there was a lot at stake. Each of you had a small usb drive that would corrupt and destroy any files still left in their system. Infiltrate and destroy all of their plans.

"Do you feel like pancakes?" Logan asks as you step out of the jet.

"What?" He shrugs and stands a little taller.

"There's this diner, open all night. Thought that after you'd want to get something to eat." You know what he's doing. Trying to make you feel better, to believe that you'll make it out alive. You can't die if you have a plans.

"Sure Logan, pancakes sounds great."

"Then it's a date." Logan heads in the opposite direction of you.

He's part of the brute force while you slip into the shadows. Still it pains you to be away from him. A storm rumbles in the distance and you hurry off to your position, afraid of what was to come. Still you keep going.

This was going to end tonight.

"Shit!" You hiss as a bullet wizzes past you.

Things had went to shit pretty quickly and it's an all out brawl now. With a wave of your hands soldiers go flying to who knows where. You sneak behind one and infiltrate his mind. Using his fears to show you exactly where the main computer was being held. He falls to the ground and you step over him as you sneak inside.

It was getting bad, you could feel it. Feel the tiredness and pain your friends were feeling. The guards fall one by one as you make it to the center console room. Exhaustion was creeping up on you. Your powers exerting every bit of strength you had. Still you knew what had to be done.

You plugged in the usb drive and watched as the system crashes, deleting every single bit of information they could have on the X-Men. Then you slowly envelop the console with your powers, crushing it until there's nothing left. You press your finger to your ear, alerting the team you had wiped their main computer in the comms. There's nothing but static on the other end.

"Guys?" You feel your heart start to race as you run out of the building.

"Hello? Anyone? Storm, Jean, Logan?" Still nothing.

Suddenly you feel this horrible, horrible pit in your chest. You stop in your tracks. Blood running cold as terrible feeling washes over you. Logan. You can't explain it, but somethings wrong.

"Logan!" You plead into your comms for him to respond.

You burst through the doors and back onto the field. Your breath hitching as you see the destruction in front of you. For any normal villain's they would have been nothing in the way of you guys, but these people knew exactly who you were. Exactly how to stop each and every one of you.

It was a losing battle.

Your eyes dart around as you send blast after blast, trying to help but with every move of your hands you feel weaker. Suddenly you hear a loud yell, you turn around to see Logan driving his claws deep into the chest of someone. You feel relieved seeing him still standing.

"Logan!" You call out to him and he looks your way. There's blood splattered all over his face and he looks worried. He runs towards you as fast as he could go.

"Get down!" He roars.

BANG

It all happens so slowly.

You look to your side to see a man with a gun aimed right at you. The exhaustion plagues your brain as you react too late. You see Logan running at you. A desperate look in his face as he jumps at you. You hit the ground and so does Logan. He rolls away and lays still. To your horror there's a bullet right in his forehead.

"Logan!" You screech.

You scramble to his side. He's not getting up. Why is he not getting up? He heals. He should be fine. His healing factor should have kicked in so why isn't he getting up. You reach out to him but someone grabs your leg before you can. Your hands dig into the ground as you're yanked back. Dragged to the center of the field.

"Get the fuck off me!" You kick your feet and scream loudly.

Your hands glow but you're face is shoved to the ground, a foot on your neck slowly stopping the air from entering your lungs. You can feel your strength draining. You try and use your powers but you can't.

"He's dead sweetheart. Think we don't know about that neat little regeneration of his?" The man above you laughs and you start to feel sick.

"We're not fucking stupid." He takes his foot off your neck and you gasp for air. He reaches down and grabs you by the neck, forcing you to turn and look at Logan.

"Where's that healing of his now?" Logan remains unmoving, you try and reach out to him. Using any bit of your power to search for him but nothing. You can't feel anything. Tears start to fall as you let out an anguished cry.

"I thought you were supposed to be strong? We heard so much about you and now look at you." He lets go of your neck and you crawl to your knees. Clutching your chest as sobs wrack your body.

"Don't worry though," You hear a gun cock behind you.

"It'll be over soon. Go ahead and say hi to your little boyfriend for us."

You look up at him and feel nothing but an overwhelming amount of pure rage. How fucking dare they. They threatened your life, your friends, your world. They took your peace. They took Logan. The love of your life, he died saving you. Your hands glow bright orange, your chest heaving as you glare at the man standing in front of you.

"Oh look at that, looks like you can do something." He sneers. You chuckle darkly. Tilting your head to the side you smile. Your eyes start to glow as you become strangely calm.

"You took everything from me...So I'm going to take it all from you." You scream as a large wave of energy bursts from your body.

A wave knocking back everyone in your radius including your team. The line of friend and foe blur as you go on a rampage. Disposing of anyone who came after you with ease.

"Firefly!" Storm calls out to you, you were becoming uncontrollable. No one can even get near you. Jean tries to get into your head but you block her out.

No one can get to you now.

They took him from you and you were going to make him pay. You stalk to the ones that were foolish enough to stay. Though they were crawling away now, pleading for mercy. It almost makes you laugh. They were showing no mercy when they planned to eradicate you and your friends. Why would you show them any now?

"That's enough!" Scott fires a beam to stop you in your tracks.

"They're surrendering." He reaches out to you but you push him away.

"I don't care." You snarl. You raise your hand and lift the stragglers up in the air. You're about to slam them to the ground but someone grabs onto your wrist.

"Stop!" The grip is tight as they spin you around. The glow in your eyes fade as you take in who stands in front of you.

"Logan?" You whisper. You try and shake your hand free but he doesn't budge.

"Let them go, honey." He says gently.

"They tried to kill you." You feel the fire come back but Logan does everything he can to calm it.

"But they didn't. They can't hurt us anymore." Still you don't move. He loosens the grip on your hand, taking your other hand and placing it on his chest.

"I'm alive, just feel." Slowly you lower your hand, softly letting the men fall as the rest of the team deal with them as you collapse into Logan's arms.

"I thought you were dead!” You cried. You rest your head against his chest, hand still gripping his suit.

“You weren’t moving and I, I couldn’t feel you.” He cradles the back of your head and holds you tight.

“I’m so sorry I scared you honey, I’m alive. Just knocked out for a little bit.” Logan feels horrible.

Maybe if he had been a little quicker you both would be okay and you wouldn’t have had to deal with any of that. He grabs your face and kisses you with an intensity you've never felt. It's sloppy and desperate but full of life. He's alive. He's telling you that he's alive.

When you pull apart there's still tears streaming down your face. Still so overwhelmed from everything. He lets you cry into his chest as he soothes you. Wiping away the tears as they come.

"I love you so much." He whispers so only you can hear.

The rest of the team watch but don’t say a word. Letting the two of you sit there as long as you need. Soon your tears dry up but you don’t let go of Logan.

It’s a quiet walk to the jet. Everyone is absolutely drained. You lean on Logan's shoulder as he draws shapes on your thigh with his thumb. Your hand rests on his wrist, pressing into his pulse just to make sure he's still breathing.

"Pancakes." You say quietly. Logan looks over in slight confusion.

"Huh?"

"You promised me pancakes," You crack a tired smile.

Logan stares at you for a moment before laughing in disbelief. The weight of what happened finally catching up to him. How close he was to losing it all, how close you were to complete destruction. The toll it's taken on everyone in the jet. The last thing on anyone's mind mind should be doing anything other than sleeping for a week yet pancakes feel like the best fucking idea ever.

"Yeah we can get pancakes honey, as many as you want." He kisses your forehead and places his chin on your head.

"With chocolate chips?" You ask playfully.

"I'll make 'em put in extra. Just for you." You hum happily as you lean in closer to him.

It's still a long flight back and one by one everyone starts to fall asleep. Soon it's just the rumbling of the plane. You look up to see Logan has fallen asleep, you watch his chest rise and fall. Just for a little bit.

He grumbles in his sleep, twitching slightly. There's a scowl on his face as he starts to shift more. Quietly you tap your fingers against his head, taking away his nightmares. He stops moving, relaxing under your touch. You smile softly as you slide your hand down to his chest.

Closing your eyes you feel his heart again. In the back of your mind swirls the horrible memories of today but you choose to ignore them for now. You close your eyes and allow yourself to rest. The steady beat of his heart acting as the perfect lullaby.

Just a steady reminder that everythings okay, there's nothing to fear anymore.

Thump

#logan howlett #logan howlett x reader #wolverine x reader #wolverine #logan howlett angst

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lazycats-stuff · 6 months ago

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Dick bringing his boyfriend to meet his family and then trying to intimidate the reader, but the reader is too oblivious and optimistic he doesn't realize it and the family is surprised about how happy he is and his pure kindness, so they accept the reader and five Dick the whole 'if you hurt him talk'

Ah yes, the meeting the boyfriend. But then the reverse... I love these tropes.

Summary: (Y/N) meets the fam. And the tables turn.

Warnings: minor cursing, but not much, usual hurt them we hurt you talk... (Y/N) being sweet.

Dick was nervous as hell. Like never before even. And he is Nightwing, fighting crime and criminals alike. But never would have prepared him for introducing his boyfriend to his family. He loved his family, his brothers and father and Alfred as his grandpa, but they were all protective.

Someone meeting his family meant subtle threats, jabs and once that someone is gone, a background check. It was annoying to Dick and he told his family so. He really did. But his family doesn't really listen to him, saying that it was for his own good. You never know who is dating you due to a connection to the last name Wayne.

So, they might have had a point about that part. But still. Dick knows who is with him due to the connection to the Wayne family. He would know who is with him for material reasons. He knows the signs.

But (Y/N) isn't like that.

(Y/N) is a genuinely the nicest person ever. Happy too. Just happy to exist. Even in Bludhaven. I mean, what more could Dick ask for? He had his own personal sunshine. (Y/N) often volunteered, whether or not is it in an animal shelter homeless shelter, charities and what else. Also, that's the reason why (Y/N) has 3 cats at his apartment and probably will have more if he brings more kittens from the shelter.

All in all, Dick was happy with (Y/N) and knew that (Y/N) was just as serious about this relationship as Dick was. That much was obvious and after a year of dating, just to be sure that (Y/N) was serious about this, Dick decided to bring his boyfriend to his family, so they could meet him.

Dick was... Nervous to say the least. He didn't want his family to run (Y/N) off. (Y/N) was probably the one for Dick. And Dick refused to let it slip through his fingers and allow his family to scare (Y/N) off. Nope. Not happening.

Dick parked the car in the manor's yard, turning to look at his boyfriend, who smiled at Dick.

" Are you nervous? " Dick asked (Y/N), who shook his head in response. " Really? You aren't? " Dick teased and (Y/N) huffed.

" It's easier knowing your night job identity. And then knowing about the others too, you know... It's easier. But no, I'm not nervous. " (Y/N) explained, opening the passenger door to get out.

Dick laughed as he got out too, walking over to (Y/N) to hold his hand, intertwining his own fingers with (Y/N)'s. They squeezed their hands and Dick rang the doorbell, waiting for Alfred to open the door.

" There is no turning back now anyway. " Dick said, making (Y/N) huff.

" I can simply snatch the keys and drive off. " (Y/N) responded, making Dick chuckle.

" You wouldn't. " Dick teased again and (Y/N) opened his mouth to retort, but Alfred opened the door, smiling at the duo.

" Master Dick, it's always great to see you. And this must be master (Y/N). " Alfred said, extending his hand to shake (Y/N)'s. (Y/N) shook Alfred's hand with a smile.

" It's nice to meet you Alfred. Dick always speaks highly of you. " (Y/N) stated, making Alfred chuckle.

" I can only hope so. Please, come in you two. " Alfred said as he stepped aside to let the two in. (Y/N) smiled as he looked around, turning and tilting his head.

" This is a beautiful place... " (Y/N) muttered, making Dick smile. Manor is truly a beautiful place, both inside and out. Dick knew that (Y/N) would love it.

" I agree. But you should see the garden later. It's like a piece of art. Now come on, let me introduce you to my family. " Dick said as he lead (Y/N) into the big dining room, where his brothers and father were.

Everyone stopped talking and turned their heads to look at Dick and the mysterious boyfriend that Dick talked about before.

" Everyone, this is (Y/N), my boyfriend. " Dick announced and Bruce stood up, ready to shake his hand. Dick's brothers followed and soon enough, everyone sat down at the table, ready to be served by Alfred.

" So (Y/N), what do you do for a living? " Jason started and Dick glanced at Jason, knowing what that question was opening. An interrogation. And also a background check for later in the Batcave.

" I'm a librarian. I work in a library in Bludhaven. " (Y/N) said with a soft smile that made Dick's heart flutter.

" That's a nice occupation. " Bruce chimed in. " No stress, some paperwork I assume, but all in all, a relaxing job. " Bruce elaborated and (Y/N) nodded in conformation.

" That is true, it's a great occupation. " (Y/N) said and then turned his head when he heard Titus coming. (Y/N) knew who Titus was, seen many pictures from Dick.

" Why hello. " (Y/N) said as Titus approached him, curious to see who the newcomer to the household is. Damian watched from his seat, curious about (Y/N)'s reaction with Titus. One way to judge someone's character is to see how they interact with animals. And Damian was very serious about his animals.

Dick watched from (Y/N)'s right how (Y/N) scratched Titus' ear, talking to him as if he was a baby. Essentially, in a universal tone reserved for all dogs. Well, all animals, lets be honest.

(Y/N) watched as Titus walked off, ready to just go to sleep as usual on the couch, making sure to take as much space as possible. As it normally is for dogs, of course.

" He is cute. " (Y/N) stated once Titus walked off.

" That he is. I presume you are an animal lover? " Damian inquired and (Y/N) nodded.

" More of a cat person, I have to admit. Volunteering in animal shelters around Bludhaven did it's magic on me and I that's why I have 3 cats at my place. " (Y/N) joked, making Damian smirk.

" Cats do have that charm about them. I also have one, named Pennyworth. " Damian said and (Y/N) laughed.

" I can only wonder after whom it was named. " (Y/N) joked, making Damian chuckle quietly.

Soon enough, the food was served and everyone dug into the food. (Y/N) was in love with the food, even asking Alfred for the recipe. It was incredible food and (Y/N) was happy once he finished his plate, even bloating up a bit.

Dick smile when he saw that. It meant that (Y/N) was full and happy.

" I have to say... That was amazing... (Y/N) said and Dick smiled at him, putting his hand on his knee.

" Yeah, Alfred is an amazing cook. " Dick noted quietly, sighing quietly from how much he ate. It was an incredible feast, that much was true.

" I'm going to the bathroom, excuse me everyone. " (Y/N) said as he stood up, slowly walking to the bathroom.

Everyone waited until he was out of earshot and then happened something that Dick never expected to hear.

" Dick, if you hurt him, I'm disowning you. " Bruce said shortly, making Dick spit his water out.

" What? " He asked as he coughed the remaining water out.

" You heard me. That boy is sunshine personified. Smiling, happy, nice to animals... How in God's name did you manage to get him? " Bruce questioned and Dick was confused.

" I agree with old man here. He's too good for you. I mean... I agree, you hurt him, you are no longer the member of the family. " Jason said, reaching for his glass of water.

Even Tim and Damian agreed with the fact that (Y/N) was too good for Dick, giving their own older if you hurt him talk... Holy shit.

" Wait... Does this mean you accept him as my boyfriend? " Dick asked, confused.

" Yes you dumbass. " Jason said, making Dick scoff in the process. " We like your boyfriend and he is genuine. He is clearly in love with you and vice versa. And if you mess this up, I'm killing you. " Jason added, making Dick roll his eyes.

" I won't mess it up Jay. "

" Good. If you do, sleep with one eye open. "

Dick scoffed again, crossing his arms. Tim chuckled quietly and Damian snickered quietly.

(Y/N) came back, sitting next to Dick. " You okay? You seem tense as hell. " (Y/N) asked and Dick forced a smile onto his face, wanting to make sure that (Y/N) didn't notice anything.

" Nothing. Just two siblings going at it. " Dick said, making Jason snort in response.

(Y/N) nodded, patting his hand before Alfred served them desert and sat down with them. Dick smiled as he ate, happy to see his boyfriend happy and his family accepting his partner...

Life is good.

#dick grayson x male reader #nightwing x male reader #dc comics x oc #dc comics #dc x male reader #x male reader

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edenesth · 11 months ago

Text

The Way to His Heart [10]

Pairing: general!Seonghwa x wife!reader

AU: arranged marriage au (Joseon era)

Word Count: 4.5k

Trigger Warnings: graphic violence/torture, gore, implied mutilation

Summary: Life has been hell ever since your mother's passing many years ago. Despite being from a prominent family, you've never received the privileges associated with it. It only got worse with the arrival of your stepmother and her daughters. When the intimidating General Park was in search of a wife, your father seized the opportunity to dispose of you, simultaneously securing a connection with the powerful general—killing two birds with one stone.

Part 9 | Fic Masterlist | Part 11

"You wanted to see me, sir?" Wooyoung called out, entering the general's study with Jongho following closely behind, having been summoned to the estate.

Seonghwa looked up from his desk, "Ah yes, I heard you turned down the bonus incentive we offered. Why is that? Is there something else that you wish to have?"

Having encountered few who would refuse extra money, your husband found it hard to comprehend the private investigator's decision. Most people around him were usually drawn by the allure of his wealth or other associated benefits, which left him curious about Wooyoung's motives for declining the bonus. Surely, there was something specific he desired.

The younger man beamed, "My lord, I wasn't working so willingly for you because I wanted something more from you. Honestly, nothing makes me happier than being recognised by you! I just... okay, maybe there is one thing I really want."

Raising his brow, the general was not surprised by the sudden admission, "Go on, name it then."

With a cheeky grin, the investigator replied, "It's that you allow me to help you with whatever problems you have now!"

Your husband rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "What do you mean? I have no problems now; the worst is over."

"Really? Is that why you're here sulking alone instead of being with Lady Park? You clearly want to be near her, and yet, here you are, staying away from her because you haven't a clue how to face her after the traumatising ordeal you put her through yesterday."

That finally piqued Seonghwa's attention, prompting him to sit up straighter, though he attempted to maintain a nonchalant demeanour, "H-how did you figure that out?"

Without waiting for Wooyoung's response, he shook his head, "No, wait, actually, I don't want to know that. Just tell me... what should I do? I realise I haven't considered well enough what she went through, but I... I've never had to care for someone like this before, and I'm not really sure how to..."

The investigator offered an understanding smile, "My lord, the key to any relationship is communication. You need to talk to Lady Park. Ask her how she's feeling, and tell her you're sorry for what she went through. Avoiding each other won't solve anything; it will only create more distance between you two. You're her pillar of support now, and she needs to feel that you're there for her. You both deserve happiness, but it starts with open and honest communication."

Absorbing the advice, the general nodded thoughtfully, "You're right, Wooyoung. I appreciate your straightforwardness. I'll go talk to her and make things right."

Without hesitating, he sprang from his chair and made his way out of the study. The assistant and his friend couldn't contain their laughter, covering their mouths with their hands, but quickly composed themselves when Seonghwa glanced back at them, "Oh, and please, accept the bonus. You deserve it, especially after this."

Before Wooyoung could object, he had already exited the room and was rushing down the path toward the House of Lotus, his heart pounding at the thought of seeing his wife again.

He remembered how quiet you had been during the entire journey back home the day before, your gaze fixed on the passing scenery outside the window. While you weren't overtly distant or cold to him, you seemed lost in thought throughout dinner. You excused yourself early, retiring to your quarters. The atmosphere carried an unspoken tension, making him hesitant to say anything for fear of your potential reaction.

Reflecting on it, he realised he should have assured you that things would be better from that point forward. Rather than maintaining a facade of normalcy, he regretted not breaking the silence and being there for you in that moment of unease.

His steps hesitated, and his breath deepened as you finally appeared in his line of sight, seated alone in the pavilion outside your room. Your lady etiquette books lay open beside you, but the faraway look in your eyes remained glued to the horizon beyond the lotus pond. For a moment, he stood there, appreciating your beauty, suddenly feeling thankful you looked nothing like your father.

However, as soon as you turned your head slightly and noticed him standing by the entrance, he blinked rapidly, feeling flustered. Gathering his courage, he took a deep breath and approached you.

Just go talk to her, you fool.

Seeing him approach, you closed the books and made room for him to sit in the small pavilion. He offered a warm smile, "Hey, I hope I'm not bothering you or anything."

Shaking your head, you returned a small smile, "No, not at all. I tried to study, but I just... I couldn't."

As he settled down beside you, reaching for your hand, you didn't flinch or pull away. He released a relieved breath and moved closer, "It's alright, you don't have to force yourself. I know you're probably upset with me. I... I'm sorry, my dear."

Lifting your head to meet his eyes, you furrowed your brows, "What? Why would I be upset with you?"

He winced, wondering if you were intentionally testing him to see if he knew what he did wrong. But then again, he knew you would never do anything like that. Sighing, he admitted, "Look, I know I should've thought things through better yesterday. I was so focused on wanting to punish your family for what they did, I forgot about how horrible it must have been for you to go back there and sit through all of that."

"I acknowledge it was a mistake. My intention was to give you a chance to confront your family by taking you to your old room. I didn't think it would affect you so badly. I realise now that it was a misguided decision, and I regret taking you back to that place. I'm a goddamned idiot."

His admission tugged at your heart, and you responded by placing a comforting hand over his.

"Seonghwa, you're not an idiot. I'm not upset with you," You assured him, "I've been quiet since the visit because I'm still processing the fact that my own father killed my mother. All this time, I believed she died from sickness. Now, I can't help but wonder how different my life would have been if only she were still alive. He took her away from me just like that, and for what? All for his own selfish reasons..."

"I just... I feel so—" Tears welled up in your eyes, and your voice broke, "I-I'm sorry..." You pulled your hands away from him, attempting to wipe your eyes, but he gently grasped your shoulders and turned you to face him.

"No, you need to stop apologising. You have every right to be sad, and I'm here to tell you that you never have to endure any more of the pain you're going through alone. I'm here for you, okay? From now on, I want you to lean on me whenever things get too unbearable. Can you do that?"

Feeling the genuine warmth in Seonghwa's tone and seeing the unmistakable care in his eyes, you finally broke down. The weight of the revelations, the pain of your father's actions, and the years of emotional torment spilt over, and you couldn't hold back your tears any longer. He pulled you close, cradling you in his arms as you sobbed against his shoulder.

Whispering comforting words into your ear, he pressed gentle kisses onto the top of your head. His touch was a soothing balm, providing the comfort and support you desperately needed in that moment. As you let out your emotions, he held you tighter.

The sound of your heart-wrenching cries only caused an uncomfortable squeeze in his heart. The general had never experienced this kind of ache before. Throughout his life, he had always believed that no one had a tougher life than he did. But then you came along, with your fragile form, managing to shake his entire world and alter his perspectives on life. All of a sudden, the notion of having someone to protect and care for didn't seem so repulsive, especially when it was you.

You slowly pulled back, staring up at him through your wet lashes, and offered a grateful smile, "Seonghwa, I want to thank you for doing all this for me. I never imagined someone caring enough to go through all that trouble. I promise, in return, I'll try my hardest to be a worthy wife for you."

He wiped away your tears tenderly and gazed into your eyes, "You don't need to prove anything, my love. You're already perfect, just as you are."

Your heart raced, and your eyes widened as you stuttered, "W-wait, what... what did you just call me?"

He stilled, realising the words that had slipped from his mouth before he softened. Leaning close, he pressed his forehead against yours, "My love."

Seonghwa's presence became almost intoxicating. Feeling him so close, as if with a mind of its own, your eyes slowly fluttered closed. He took that as permission to lean in further, and after what felt like an eternity, his lips touched yours in a soft and tentative kiss. When you didn't push him away, he bravely angled his head before pressing his lips firmly against yours.

Finally, our first kiss.

Pulling away after a while to catch your breath, you bit your lip shyly, "I-I'm sorry if I wasn't—"

He shook his head, "Don't worry, it's my first time kissing someone too," He admitted, struggling to take his eyes off your swollen lips. A soft smile played on his lips as he caressed your cheek with his thumb, "Can I..." He asked with half-lidded eyes, and you nodded breathlessly.

Without wasting another moment, he captured your lips in another loving kiss. The world seemed to fade away, leaving only the warmth of each other's presence. His touch was gentle yet filled with a depth of emotion. As the kiss deepened, you felt a rush of emotions, a mix of vulnerability and passion.

Feeling the need for air, he pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against yours. Your eyes met, and you could see the affection and sincerity in his gaze, "You're perfect." He whispered, his voice filled with tenderness, realising that kissing you might just be his new favourite thing to do from now onwards. The moment lingered, the air charged with newfound emotions. It was a beginning, a sweet promise of the love that had blossomed between you.

"Your Majesty, please—"

The King slammed his fists against the handle of his throne, causing the minister to gasp and lower his head. He shook like a leaf, awaiting his impending doom as the ruler declared, "I don't want to hear another word from you, Jang. You're a bloody disappointment. Actually, you're worse than that, you monster."

Kneeling beside your father were your stepmother and stepsisters, equally trembling. Pathetic tears rolled down their cheeks as they attempted to put on a pity show, hoping to move His Majesty's heart. However, their efforts did little to appease his rage. He scoffed in disbelief at their audacity to cry, considering all the despicable things they had done to you and your mother.

This marked the first time the four women had set foot in the palace, and little did they anticipate it would be under such circumstances. The visit might also be their only time here, as the imminent judgement from the King would decide their fate.

Seonghwa stood in the corner, arms crossed over his chest, an amused expression on his face. He left home that morning after a lingering kiss on your lips, feeling rejuvenated and determined. Choosing not to burden you with the details of today's assembly, he shielded you from further thoughts about your family.

Don't worry, my love. I'll make sure they suffer a punishment worse than death.

"I can't stand to look at you imbeciles for another moment longer. Let's get this over with already. Royal Secretary Choi, would you be so kind as to enlighten us with all of Minister Jang's crimes and his punishments?" said the King.

Stepping forward from his corner next to the throne, San bowed, "As you wish, Your Majesty," Tugging open the scroll in his hands, he began reading out loud, "Minister Jang has committed a total of five crimes. First, he committed adultery voluntarily, and for that, he will be whipped with eighty lashes. Second, he committed the crime of official document forgery, and for that, he will be whipped an additional twenty lashes."

Dread filled the minister as he gulped, anxiously listening to the secretary move on to the next section, "Third, for the confinement, continuous abuse, and mistreatment of his own daughter, an innocent citizen, he will be flogged thirty times. Next, for violating the code of ethics as a minister, which is to be a law-abiding citizen, he will be stripped of his title and flogged another twenty times."

As your father's hands trembled, he attempted to hold himself up by pressing his sweaty palms against the floor, breathing heavily as he awaited the final and most severe punishment. San continued, "And finally, for the murder of his first wife, an innocent citizen, he will be sentenced to permanent exile."

That's... it?

Feeling a sliver of hope, the old man let out a small sigh of relief. At least it wasn't death by beheading or arsenic poisoning as he had feared. Banishment seemed acceptable; he supposed he could still live a quiet life somewhere away from here. Bowing deeply, he cried, "Thank you, Your Majesty! Your grace is immeasurable!"

All the ministers and officials present quickly stole glances at Seonghwa, wondering if he would throw a fit and object to the punishment that was yet to be the heaviest one. However, they failed to discern his feelings, as there was only an unreadable smirk on his handsome face.

Lady Jang and her daughters trembled as they awaited their turn. With a nod from the King, the secretary continued, "Moving on, Lady Jang has committed a total of four crimes. First, she voluntarily committed adultery, and for that, she will be whipped eighty lashes. Second, she committed the crime of official document forgery, and for that, she will be whipped an additional twenty lashes."

She nodded to herself, seemingly already accepting her fate, as she listened, "Third, for the confinement, continuous abuse, and mistreatment of the minister's eldest daughter, an innocent citizen, she will be flogged thirty times. And finally, for being an accomplice to the murder of the first Lady Jang, she will be sentenced to penal servitude for life."

Her eyes shot up immediately, finding it hard to accept that she would be separated from her husband. She had believed she, too, would be exiled along with him. But she quickly lowered her gaze as soon as she saw the glare the King had directed at her, as if daring her to complain about it.

Oh god, my life is over...

Noticing the King's patience wearing thin, San quickly concluded with the final sentencing, "Lastly, for the confinement, continuous abuse, and mistreatment of the minister's eldest daughter, an innocent citizen, the three young misses of the Jang family will be flogged thirty times each and sentenced to penal servitude for a total of thirty years."

All three of the sisters' jaws fell slack at their punishment. After living luxurious lives like spoiled brats for so long, they were now expected to be servants, performing hard labour for three decades. All their dreams of getting married and leading comfortable lives were shattered. The prospect of finding suitors after serving their sentences seemed bleak. Their lives were forever ruined, and things would never be the same.

"Now that that's settled, remove these individuals from my sight, and see to it that they receive their physical punishments by today. I don't want their presence contaminating my palace walls any longer than necessary. Moving on to the next agenda, let us discuss who will stand in as the interim Minister of Military Affairs until we elect a new one." The ruler grumbled, waving his hands dismissively.

Seonghwa grinned smugly, relishing the way your father's face fell as he absorbed His Majesty's words. The King fully intended to drive the point home, reminding him that, no matter how much he believed he contributed to the nation, he, too, was just as disposable. Consider it emotional torment for further punishment, if you will.

As the members of the Jang family were forcefully pulled to their feet and guided toward the palace torture chamber where all punishments for criminals were administered, the general bowed deeply, "Your Majesty, forgive this humble subject for not feeling too well. Would it be possible for me to excuse myself from the remainder of today's assembly?"

With a knowing glint in his eyes, the King nodded, "Of course, my boy. Nothing matters more than your well-being. I'll have Royal Secretary Choi send you the minutes of today's meeting later on."

All eyes were fixed on your husband as he confidently exited the hall, wearing an excessively pleased expression, looking a little too content to be feeling unwell as he had claimed. It became evident to everyone that he was plotting something, a scheme that even His Majesty was privy to and had tacitly approved.

"P-please, have mercy!"

Screams reverberated within the dim and eerie confines of the torture chamber, a place the general once frequented during his duties of interrogating spies, war criminals, and suspicious individuals to maintain peace within the nation.

The familiar sounds of your family's agonising cries filled his ears, and he couldn't suppress the chuckle that escaped his lips as he entered, "Ah yes, music to my ears."

Upon his arrival, all the royal guards present swiftly bowed deeply and greeted Seonghwa with respect, "Good day, General Park!" They dared not continue until he gave them a nod, "Go on, don't let me stop you. I'm only here to enjoy the show."

"Yes, sir!" They chanted in unison. To many young soldiers and palace guards, he was akin to a god, an embodiment of success they aspired to achieve one day. Therefore, his mere presence motivated them to perform their duties with increased ruthlessness and precision.

Taking a seat in the centre of the room, your husband bit his lip with a smug expression, locking eyes with your father whose gaze reflected anguish. The elderly man lay face down on a wooden table, enduring lash after lash on his already bloody and battered back. His painful ordeal was far from over.

Whimpering, your father pleaded, "S-Seonghwa, I'm s-still your father-in-law! Please, at least show a little mercy to your wife's father!" Beside him, his wife nodded pathetically, sharing the same painful fate. Meanwhile, the three daughters stood frozen in a corner, wrists cuffed, awaiting their turn to face their beatings.

A devilish laughter escaped the general as he shot a menacing glare at the former minister, "Oh, I'm sorry, was that supposed to make things any better? I would show you mercy if only you had shown my wife any. You shouldn't have said anything, you fool," Turning to the guard in charge of whipping your father, your husband ordered, "Not hard enough, soldier. I want to see his skin tear."

"Yes, sir!" Striking with increased force, the lashes landed on the old man's back, inflicting wounds that would take months to heal. The continuous shrieks of pain only served to widen the smile on Seonghwa's face, "And to think you were thanking His Majesty for his grace; you've underestimated the severity of being whipped, haven't you? Did you really think you were going to walk out of here with a small bruise? Dream on."

"Oh, I can't wait for all of you to experience the wonders of flogging! It will be delightful, a punishment perfectly suited for your kind." The general sang, eyeing the three girls slyly.

They cowered under his intense gaze, suddenly regretting every action they took on the day of your visit. Perhaps if they hadn't attempted any of those, they might have gotten away with a lighter sentence. But there was no point dwelling on such thoughts now.

"Father! Mother!" The girls cried, witnessing their parents only now completing the first half of their punishment. Before they could continue their wailing, guards approached them, saying, "Quiet down! Worry about yourselves instead; it's your turn."

The former minister and his wife looked practically lifeless by the time the guards were finished with their hundred lashes each. The skin on their backs was completely torn open, blood gushing out relentlessly. They were nearly unconscious by the time the guards moved them to separate poles, where they would be beaten with a heavy stick all over their bodies.

Letting out a small yawn, Seonghwa signalled for them to prepare for the flogging. This would be entertaining to witness; most criminals barely survived this punishment by the time it concluded. He would relish the idea of them being left in critical conditions.

"Enjoy yourselves! Thirty times each for what you've all done to my wife – just the perfect amount to leave you halfway to hell. Don't worry; you'll wish you were dead by the end of this. But rest assured, we will keep you alive," Your husband exclaimed with a clap of his hands, "Now, I want you to think of all the things you've done to my wife as you endure this. Can we all do that?"

In the ensuing silence, the guards approached each family member, forcefully striking them with the heavy sticks in their hands. With just one hit, all of them began howling in pain, "Answer the general! Can you all do as you are told?!"

"Y-yes! Yes!" All five of them sobbed miserably, and the general beamed, "Fantastic! Now, let the official flogging begin! The first one does not count, alright? Consider it warm up!"

The insanity in his eyes was genuinely terrifying, and your family was once again reminded of his reputation. Suddenly, it all made sense. This was how it felt to be a victim of his cruelty. They never should have sent you to him; that was their biggest mistake, and nothing they do or say could ever change that now.

"Yes, sir!"

And so it began, the screams that now filled the room were even more piercing than the ones during the first round of whipping.

Approaching each family member one by one, Seonghwa smirked, "Remember all the times you starved her?" Jinjoo nodded in between shrieks, "Good. And you, recall all the times you insulted her and made her feel small?" Jinhee repeated her sister's actions, nodding furiously, "Very good. And you, remember all the times you did something wrong and blamed it on her so that she would take your punishments for you?"

Jinah cried, tears and snot running down her sweaty face, "I'm sorry!" He shook his head, "Will saying a useless sorry change anything? Nope. Hit her harder, soldier," With a grin of approval, he moved on to your stepmother, "And you, recall all the times you kept her locked up in that prison cell you call her room?" Not wanting to suffer like her eldest, she nodded aggressively, "Good."

Finally stopping in front of your father, he crossed his arms over his chest, "And you, remember all the times you laid your hands on her? Your own daughter?" The former minister nodded quickly but was not spared, "Good, hit him even harder so he never forgets how it feels."

"Twenty-nine, thirty." The beatings stopped for the four women, and they collapsed one by one onto the floor like rag dolls. Blood trickled from their noses and the corners of their lips, their bodies covered in countless bruises and open wounds, soaking their clothes red. And that is only what can be seen on the outside; who knew what fatal internal injuries they could be suffering from.

With his hands propped on his hips, Seonghwa took in the sight with satisfaction, "Very well, some of these scars should last you for life. Now, you look as bad as the way you'd left my wife. Actually, worse. But that's good. I'm very happy with the outcome. Guards, take them away and make sure to send them to places where they're known to treat their servants poorly."

The girls sobbed upon hearing that, "General, please, have mercy! We've already suffered enough!" Your husband scoffed, "Mercy? Have you not been paying attention this entire time? I'm not known for that. Get them out of my sight."

As the guards dragged the wailing women out, they cried for their husband and father. The former minister yelled, still taking his twenty additional beatings as he watched his wife and daughters go, "W-will you not at least let me say my final goodbyes to them?"

"Minister, please don't make me laugh. Did you also allow my wife and her poor mother a final goodbye?" The old man had nothing to say at that, grunts of pain escaping his lips as he tried to endure the remainder of his punishment despite feeling like all of his insides had been beaten to mush at this point. He didn't have to look down to know that he was soaked in blood; he could feel the sting on his wounds whenever the slightest bit of wind blew past.

Just a bit more, and I'm free.

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"Forty-nine, fifty." Your father sighed in relief when the punishment finally ceased. Collapsing to the ground upon being untied, he stared blankly ahead, feeling pain throughout his entire body. Slowly but surely, he slipped into unconsciousness due to the loss of blood.

Unfortunately, his respite was short-lived. A bucket of dirty water was abruptly dumped over him, causing him to scream in agony as the injuries on his body stung intensely, bringing tears to his eyes.

"Did you think it was over?" His blood ran cold as he noticed he was now tied to a chair, unable to move. With most of the guards gone, only him and Seonghwa remained.

"What do you think you're doing, general? I've completed all my physical punishments; you're supposed to banish me now!" The old man croaked, his eyes widening in fear as he noticed the dagger in your husband's hand.

The general burst into laughter, "Oh, minister, you can be quite slow at times. Did you genuinely believe that His Majesty's decision not to sentence you to death was an act of kindness? Who do you think requested your exile?"

"Y-you—"

Seonghwa smirked, "Indeed, it was me. Killing you would have been too merciful. No, I want you to endure a life so filled with pain that you wish for death every single day. Now, after seeing how skilled you were at begging all day, I believe you'd make a very talented beggar. Do you know what would make you a successful beggar?"

Tears streaming down his face, your father shook his head hopelessly as your husband traced the blade against his skin before whispering, "One without limbs."

That was the most violence I have ever written HAHA I had to channel my inner Joker for Seonghwa's character. Anyway, I hope that was satisfying enough!

As always, thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts! <3

Tag list (1/5): @huachengsbestie01 @evidive @weedforthoughtz @ssrnghwa @yunnieo @sunnyhokyu @lynnsqueendom @frobin4ever @chwesuh-imnida @thunderous-wolf @itstheghostofmypast @professormingisglasses @deltamoon666 @avantalem @famishalll @yungilia @soobiverse @joongified @scuzmunkie @http-gyu @mentoslol @atinyreads @angel-hyuckie @anxiousskylar @onedumbho3 @narashii @ddaeing @sanstreasure0305 @sohnfile @scarfac3 @dreamingofyeo @puppyminnnie @tinyteezer @vantediary @satsuri3su @mismatchfluffysocks @aliona124754 @bts-army380 @lilactangerine @atinyniki @pay13 @1117promises @xoxkii @st4rcig4r @hikarii02 @nescaffei @xdolls-crownx @ashrocker123 @skzline @minkiflwr @starssongs98 @baeksofty @skz1-4-3 @kawaiikels @madnpan @maoyueze @en-happiness @cheolliehugs @persnyako @startinystay @chngbnwf @fatspecimen @christinerose380 @stfu-rina @kyukyustar @taytayy178 @appleschre @brielle-in-the-galaxy

Tag list (cont.): see comment/reply section

#edenesth #the way to this heart #ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez fanfiction #park seonghwa #ateez seonghwa #arranged marriage au #joseon era #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa x you #ateez fic #historical au

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reiderwriter · 1 year ago

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Let Me Love You, Baby

Chapter 7 of That's What You Get Prev Chap // Next Chap

Warnings: Oral (M and F receiving), nipple play, handcuffing, BDSM themes, dom! Spencer, sub! Reader, breeding kink, creampie, handcuffing, a variety of PinV sex positions, multiple orgasms, squirting mention, mentions of different types of orgasms involving penetrative sex and anal sex. 18+ MINORS DNI Summary: Your memories of your wedding night come back. Not all of them, just the interesting ones.

A/N: If you're enjoying this series please PLEASE let me know in the comments! I've really been loving the theories about who the other witness is and I've changed my mind like three times on who it is eventually going to be BUT I've made up my mind now and I think it's going to be a great reveal lmao. This chapter has been on my mind since I started the series and I'm so happy you can all finally read it, but it is also A Lot of sex because every time I had a thought, I wrote it down and then didn't self-edit lmao. You can find my masterlist here, the series masterlist in the link above, and if you enjoy my smut, think about checking out my kinktober masterlist or my AO3 account for daily spicy content next month! <3

You stumbled, drunk, into the room, not sure in the haze if it was yours or his. The card had passed between you in many hushed giggles through the hall as you eagerly pulled each other forward. Falling onto the bed, you let out a contented sigh as Spencer fell next to you, face first into the sheets with a small laugh.

“I can’t believe we did that!” You grinned, meeting his eyes as he turned his head towards you. “We’re married!”

“We are.” He smiles, and you can’t help but let your eyes fall to his lips, swollen and pink from your earlier enjoyment of one another. You start to laugh, not fully understanding why, but thinking it probably had a lot to do with the alcohol you’d consumed. Bringing a hand up to his face, you let a finger run over the corner of his mouth, wiping away a tiny splash of red you’d deposited earlier.

“Your lips are swollen.”

“Whose fault is that?” He leans in and catches your lips again in his and you squeal at the sudden contact, excited to feel him against you again. He’s soft and gentle at first, but as you gasp underneath him your breaths get shorter, stopping just shy of moans as you let your hands trail up and down his body. But the edge of the bed is uncomfortable, so you push him off, following his lips still as he pushes himself further up, straddling his waist as you let yourself melt into him.

“How did this happen again?” You ask, memory already feeling a little fuzzy, as you think back on the stressful few weeks you’ve had and how much better this feels. How nice it is to have someone underneath you, pressed against you, holding you.

“Is that important right now?” He asks, lips seeking yours again as you turn your head just as he tries to connect, giggling at his pout.

“You know, I always thought getting married would be this whole huge thing. Hundreds of guests, 18 months of stress while planning, you never really know on the day if the man you’re attempting to lock down is actually going to be on the other end of that aisle or if he’s bolted somewhere.” His lips are carving a path down your throat as you talk, memorizing the peaks and falls of every inch of your skin, committing you to memory like a prayer.

“A man would have to be absolutely stupid to leave you at the alter, Y/N.” He says those words that prick your heart so easily, worming his way in, without even breaking his lips away from their spot on your collarbone.

“Then if he didn’t leave, he’d be too drunk to perform on the wedding night, and so the entire day would end up just being a bust anyway.” He smiles into his final kiss, letting it linger against your skin as he pulls away and looks into your eyes.

“How drunk are you, Spencer?” Your voice falls to a hush as you shift your weight in his lap, opening your legs just a smidge wider, shifting forward so more of you is falling over his clothed member, pressing up against him as close as possible.

“You’re talking too much,” he growled out, and, grabbing you by the neck, pulled you into another heated kiss. This one isn’t giggles and soft sighs, it’s a clash of teeth and tongue and desperation, and you suddenly have the answer to your question as you feel him stiffen beneath you. Grinding down into him, you let him take control of your actions, letting him tell you when you can come up for air.

When he finally pulls away from you, you stay connected through a line of saliva stretching from your lolling tongue to his mouth. He breaks it with his thumb, forcing the digit into your mouth as you suck your shared mess from him.

“Definitely not too drunk.”

You couldn’t help yourself then, as you pulled his thumb from your mouth and shifted your body down the bed until your face was parallel to his crotch, beginning to palm him in his trousers.

“If we’re married,” you say, popping the button on his pants open. “We should probably get to know each other's… preferences early on. Stop any future arguments from occurring, right?” You looked up at him through hooded eyes, plastering the most sinful smile you could muster on your face. He stayed quiet, but you felt him twitch underneath your hand, and decided that was response enough.

“You can bite me and scratch me if you want. I like it. Pull my hair, spank me, choke me until I’m begging to cum. I like all of it. You’re in control now, Spencer. You can do whatever you want with me, so long as it ends with your cum down my throat or stuffed inside me.” Finishing your speech, confidence fueled by alcohol and the buzz of your wedding vows, you slip his cock from its cloth prison and take it directly into your mouth.

It’s thicker than you expected, and you just sit with the tip of it in your mouth for a second, trying to find a comfortable position. When you finally do, you push slowly down on it, letting your tongue tease and trace a path down. You don’t make it to the base before you’re pulling off, reaching what you expect to be your max about halfway down. You set a rhythm for yourself, hands pumping the rest of him as you coax the cum from him.

He gives you three minutes of fun before he decides that you need a little help reaching your full potential. Fisting a hand into your hair, and cradling the back of your neck in his other, he stills your motions before pushing you further down his cock, bypassing your gag reflex as your throat battles against the position he’s put you in, your nose tickled against his soft curls.

“Okay, let’s talk preferences. I’d prefer it if you ask permission before you touch something, whether that be me or yourself. I’d prefer if you used a safe word if this all gets a bit much for you. And I’d prefer you to relax that little throat of yours so I can fuck a load of my seed down it baby, okay?” He pulls you up by the hair and you nod, rasping out a yes as you gasp for air.

“Safeword is profile, tap twice if you need air.” And with that, he’s fucking your face again, pushing and pulling you by your hair as your mouth leaks spit. This was going to be a moment you’d never forget, the taste of his precum at the back of your throat, burning its way down.

Shrugging off his pants completely, he keeps at his movements, your head still working over him like you’re simply a fleshlight for his personal use. He grunts and twitches into you, signaling his impending release, and you try to ready yourself for the sting of the liquid hitting the back of your throat. He cums hot and fast, and you swallow around him, but there’s so much, it spills out of your mouth quickly, dripping down your chin and neck.

“Good girl. You listen to instructions well.” He pulls you up to his lap again as he begins undressing you, not bothering to wipe his cum from your mouth.

In a matter of seconds, he has you completely bare for him. Pulling your legs further up, he lets your torso fall back into the bed before shimmying himself down, coming face-to-face with your core.

“You remember the rules?” He asks, and you nod, answering his question.

“No touching, safe word is profile. Is that it?”

“One more thing. You’re not allowed to cum until I say so, okay?” You let out a moan of discontent then, but he shuts you up with a light slap to your face, coming up to press a kiss to your lips before traveling south again.

“Relax for me, baby,” he says as he spreads your legs and stretches out his tongue to finally come in contact with your needy core. His tongue is skilled, and you almost immediately break one of his rules as you arch off the bed, trying your best not to suffocate him between your thighs as you search for ways to heighten this pleasure.

He wastes no time being gentle, just fully eating you out like it was his job to make you cum on his face. His tongue stretched from your clit to your hole, flattening out and writhing in equal amounts as your pleasure built to a frenzy. Your hands gripped into the sheets and you clung to the single thought that maybe a punishment from your new husband wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

Your hands drift to his hair, gripping tightly as you begin bucking into his mouth, completely lost in your base desires. He quickly grips your hands and pins them to the bed again though, pulling away just before you even think about climaxing against his face.

“Spencer,” you beg, your moans sounding like the sobs of a spoiled child.

“You broke a rule, princess. I can’t just let you get away with that.” You moan at the loss of contact, your voice whinier than you'd ever heard it.

He left the bed entirely then, and you lifted your head up to follow his path to the drawers by the side of the bed. Opening it, he picked up the wedding license you'd discarded on the floor, placing it nearly inside and slowly pulling out a pair of handcuffs. Your standard FBI set, not something light, flimsy, and cushioned with fluff, these were hard and cold against your skin as he returned to the bed.

"Wait, S-Spencer…. Really?" You panicked as he pulled one arm over your head placing it parallel with the headboard, trapped between the slats. He tightened the cuff around your hand, leaving one free as he started kissing down your arm, down to your shoulder and into the hollow of your neck.

"Yes, really. Now since you want to use that other hand so badly, why don't you use it to get yourself off." You swallowed the spit in your mouth, and nodded at him, before doing just as he asked, picking up where his hands had gotten off.

He shifted to sitting just by your side, lifting your body half on top of him, your back pressed up against his chest as he watched over your shoulder as your hand-worked you into a frenzy. Bringing both of his hands around your body, he started playing with your nipples, rolling them between his fingers, pulling and fondling your breasts as your breathing became more labored.

"There are seven different female orgasms, you know. The clitoral orgasm, the G-spot orgasm, the blended orgasm, the anal orgasm, the A-spot orgasm, a purely psychological orgasm, and," he leaned down closer to your ear to finish his sentence. "The nipple orgasm." You struggled against the handcuff as you felt the tightness build in your chest, but he grabbed and held your other hand close to him as he pushed up on top of you again.

"How many do you think you'll get tonight, Y/N?" He asked, lowering his head back to your chest as you bucked your hips wildly, trying to feel him in between your legs.

He pushed down your hips and kept his attention on your chest, your brain going fuzzy with the contact as the orgasm that had been imminent kept growing until you couldn't stop it from rushing over you, chumming with his attention solely on your chest.

"You didn't answer my question?" He brought his head up, frowning slightly as you blinked your eyes open and focused on his shape above you.

"Did you read some kind of sex book, Spencer? Jesus Christ that was…" You couldn't say anything else and he chuckled from above you.

"I didn't read one, I've read multiple, and it's less reading and more committing to absolute memory." He swooped back down to your lips. "Answer the question, how many do you think you'll get tonight?"

"Two?" You ask vaguely, immediately opening your mouth back up to keep rambling. "But Spencer I've never really had more than one with another person and I'm not sure if I even can-"

"You can. You will. You promised to listen to me, remember?" You flushed at his words, choosing simply to just nod for him instead of trusting your tongue to spit out the right words.

"Good girl," he says, wrapping your legs around him, and running his cock through your folds, holding it there as he teased you.

"I don't have to use a condom, right? You want me to drop my load directly into you, right? We're married now, so I can just fuck my seed into you, hmm?" You moaned out, begging for him to just push into you, to keep his promises and pleasure you again and again.

"Hands in the sheets baby, come on, no touching remember?" You did as you were told, and with another kiss to your lips, tongues locking in your battle, he thrust his entire length into you in one movement.

A scream of pleasure ripped out of you, just as quick and fast as you were sure you ripped the sheets of the bed, your sharp nails digging in for dear life as you struggled against the desire to hold him against you.

"That's it, princess. That's it." He starts thrusting, snapping his hips up, and slowly pulling himself out again. For a moment, it was like you weren't breathing at all, his body feeding you everything you needed to sustain yourself. Lungs burning, you gulped in large breaths of him. His tongue swallowed each and every complaint, as he shared in your pleasure.

He wasn't afraid to be vocal, like some men you'd been with in the past, and the sounds of his pleasure echoed out louder than your own. He was moaning in your ear, telling you how beautiful you looked on him as he pounded into you relentlessly. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead as he slapped into you again and again.

His hand came up to your face as he grew closer to his climax, pushing his fingers back into your mouth as he turned your face further against the pillow. Your spit dribbled out of your mouth as you moaned around his fingers, pussy clenching on his dick as you felt your embarrassment rise.

"So pretty and messy," he mumbled, hips keeping his pace up.

"Did you make sure to swallow all of my cum earlier baby? Because if there was any of it left on my cock, I'm fucking it into you. Going to drop another load next to it so you can feel me knock you up."

Unlike your first orgasm, you don't feel this one coming, you just know that he's hitting a spot so deep that it's never been reached before and saying the exact words that are pulling it closer to you, and then you're ecstasy has you squirting around his dick.

"That's right. There you go, baby, lay nice and calm there, I need to keep going."

You were overstimulated, already feeling your desire burn a path through you again. He pulled out though, but made it clear that his intention was just to switch the positions of your bodies.

Making sure not to twist your locked-up arm uncomfortably, he laid on the bed and pulled your fucked out body on top of him. You shivered at his touch and he pulled you further into his embrace warming you up.

Your chest was pressed against his back, your head rolled back on his shoulder as he gently coaxed your legs apart one more time.

"That's it, baby, you're listening so well. Just push your legs apart for me, okay?" You did as he asked, and he pressed your legs further up and apart, grabbing into the flesh of your thighs as he aligned his dick with your aching pussy and pressed into you one more time.

The new angle had you moaning around you, as he encouraged you to start lifting your hips up and down, as he trusted up into you, your eyes rolling back into your head as he hit an electric point inside of you. He grabbed your hand to steady you as you moved to a seated position, letting your heels dig into the bed as you began riding him.

You were so tired that it didn't last long though, your hips stuttering awkwardly.

"It's okay, Y/N, I'll do the rest, you just stay right there." From his place underneath you, he kept your thighs from above him as he thrust into you just as quickly as before, somehow maintaining his stamina despite the edging, the alcohol, and the energy you'd already exerted.

Just as you were really about to lose your mind, he pulled out again, escaping from beneath you and gently laying you back on the bed.

"One more position, princess, and then we can rest. You've been so good for me, you can do this, right? Can let me drop all of my cum inside you?" You nodded another sleepy yes, eyes somewhere between closed and open. There was no strength left in your body to stiffen up as he began moving your now malleable body into position, but that doesn't mean you didn't let out a moan at the way he'd stretched you out.

Pushing your legs apart again, he's settled between them, but instead of letting them wrap around him, he'd kept hold of them, pushing your knees up still until they were on either side of your chest. He kissed away complaints and approvals that didn't come and slowly pushed into you again.

He was evidently close, by the way he was drawing this out now. His fingers found your clit as his cock slowly worked in and out of you, the snap of his hips completely controlled and even in tempo.

"Just keep doing that, Spence, oh my god," you begged, words suddenly returning to you. His fingers on your clit increased in pressure, but his pace otherwise didn't change, and you soon felt that third orgasm ripple through you, finally leaving you with no more to give.

Your last fall from grace had him following you swiftly after, his lips finding yours as he crashed back down on top of you, hips stuttering as he drank you in like wine.

The rest was a blur, really, sleep having claimed you so swiftly that you barely remember the words he had definitely whispered to you as soon as he caught his breath again.

"I love you. It's always been you."

Other than a vague recollection of him rearranging your legs so you wouldn't struggle to walk the next day, and the sensation of a cold, damp cloth on your skin, nothing besides remained.

–X–

It's unfortunate, really, that the memory came to you when you did, his lips on yours heating you up in a way that made you absolutely want to relive every experience he had given you. But paralyzed with shock, you'd had only one recon to choose a reaction, and out of fight, flight, fawn, or freeze, you'd gone for slam the door in his fucking face.

Not your finest moment.

Which is why after two minutes of listening to his confusion on the other side of the hall, your brain kicked back into gear and you started weighing your options.

It would be wrong to open the apartment doors and pull him back in, right? It would certainly be wrong to pull him in and demand a re-do of the first time you'd forgotten. Would he even want to redo doing it with you? And what did he mean when he said "I love you."

It was those words more specifically that scared you. You'd both been absolutely intoxicated when you'd fallen into the wedding chapel together and still remarkably unstable afterward presumably. There was a high likelihood that he hadn't known what he was saying, and taking a risk on a friendship for half a memory and wishful thinking wasn't a great calculation.

But gripping the door handle, you realized your body had made the decision for you, completely overwhelmed by the need to see him again.

When you opened the door, no one was there. Your phone pinged with a text as you looked around disappointedly, not finding him anywhere. Looking down at your phone, you cursed your own stupidity as you read his message.

"Sorry. I won't do that again."

You typed out explanations and deleted them over and over for what seemed like an hour, guilt eating you up.

Eventually, you threw your phone down in resignation, and, grabbing your groceries, started frantically planning your next steps.

Step one: wallow in your own misery.

Step two: crack open the single bottle of red wine in your pantry.

Step three: beg for heavenly guidance.

After the wine was opened, you picked up the phone again and shot off a quick emergency message to Penelope.

"Pen, need help, may have just ruined EVERYTHING with Reid because I remembered our wedding night mid-kiss - long story. Mine, now? Xx"

You couldn't stand to look at your phone after that, putting it on silent and assuming the single time it flashed was confirmation that Penelope was on her way. After half an hour, you sprang from your seat at the sound of the door, making your way back to the scene of your most recent number one embarrassing memory.

Only opening the door to Emily Prentiss, you were sure you'd just dethroned yourself.

"You're going to have to start from the beginning or explain to me that that message had multiple typing errors, because just when did you and Reid get married, and why is it suddenly over now?"

--X--

🏷️ Pt 1 @w-windy @multifandom-on-the-side @reidandhotchsgirl @babybluecakes @hugyourlungs @prentissesredtanktop @reidscaffeine @bethanyhaas01 @average-sunflower @academiareid @sailortongue @daddy-dotcom @high-functioning-cosplayer @anniewhalelover @abbyshmaby @isabel-ffl-xoxo @sujan39 @frxcless @bluestuesday @busy-buzzing @breadbrobin @maxinehufflepuffprincess @l0v3cam @booksandwonderlands @myescapefromthislife @ferrjulie @scoobydoopoo @aelinismyqueen @littlesingingbean @jamiemuscatosslut @xohoneybun @anchovy89freya @dysphoricsanity @ghostheartbeat @casss2111 @rebloggiest-reblogger @wishyoudaskme @imawhoreforu @academiacoffeelover @softservepunk @andiebeaword @r-3dlips @wakaladjarin @ratbastardchild @mcira

@danika1994 @stargurl99 @whovianwholikesgirls @its-not-too-late-for-coffee @doriantomybasil

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid smut #mgg #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid criminal minds #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds smut #maturereiding

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roosterforme · 8 months ago

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Covering the Classics Part 8 | Bob Floyd x OC

Summary: Now that Anna knows what Bob's hands feel like when he's holding her close, she doesn't know how to stop herself from going back for more. But she's unwilling to even humor Bob when it comes to what he wants the most.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, adult language, masturbation, eventually 18+

Length: 5300 words

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Female OC (this story is part of the Beer Boy/Sugar and Jake/Jessica universe)

Covering the Classics masterlist. Check my masterlist for more!

"I'm waiting for you to thank me."

Bob looked up to see Nat in front of him with a little smirk painted on her lips. He'd been spending the last twenty minutes trying to act normal, something he forgot how to do after Anna kissed him in the kitchen. Because it wasn't just a kiss, it was everything. It felt like she really wanted him.

"Thank you for what?" he asked cautiously.

Nat laughed heartily like he'd just told a very amusing joke. "For pushing you and Anna together. Bradley told me the situation, and that woman was jealous of me touching you. Her face was all pinched, and her lips were pressed into a tight line. Jealous. She wants you. And my god, she's hot. What the fuck do they do at San Diego State? Only interview you if you've got your PhD and a modeling contract?"

Bob knew he was blushing, and he was happy she wasn't calling him out on it. His friends were all talking about him and Anna behind his back at this point, trying to figure out what was going on. "We kind of just made out in the kitchen," he muttered, glancing across the yard at Anna who was talking to Jess and still holding the can of ginger ale he gave her.

"Yes!" Nat said with absolutely no subtlety, slapping Bob's shoulder. "Oh fuck, the two of you will have the cutest kids! Freckles and strawberry blonde hair!"

He had to close his eyes against the idea of it, willing the flush in his cheeks to subside. When he opened them again, Anna was looking right at him. Her gaze was a little unsure, and he was starting to get afraid she wouldn't let him drive her home later. But he wanted to walk her up to her door. He had been thinking about it since the very first time he drove her home.

"It's not like we're together or anything," he muttered.

"Yet," Nat told him, looking so certain. "Not yet."

It was getting late, the sun dipping lower in the sky. The temperatures would start cooling down once it was dark, and Anna was only wearing shorts. Bob's eyes easily found those freckles on her thighs once again. Her skin looked so damn soft. He wondered if he would feel goosebumps beneath his fingers if he traced that pretty pattern, gently connecting her freckles with an imaginary line. He had to swallow hard as she started heading his way.

Nat squeezed his wrist and muttered something about work, and then she vanished into the house. With Anna standing right in front of him, Bob wished he could just lean in and kiss her the way Jake always did with Jess, and the way Bradley always did with his wife. He wanted it. With Anna.

"I'm getting a little chilly," she told him. "I guess I overestimated how warm autumn was going to be in San Diego. It's still better than New Jersey though." She was talking to him like she hadn't been rubbing the front of those little shorts against the fly of his jeans barely an hour ago, and now he was sweating.

"You should wear jeans next time," he replied before realizing how stupid he sounded. "Not that you should be covering your legs or anything like that! You have very nice legs. Nice freckles? I just don't want you to be cold."

He cradled his forehead in his hand while Anna laughed softly. "I'll wear jeans next time. Do you think you could give me a ride home soon?"

"Sure," he promised immediately. "Absolutely."

"Great." Then she turned, and Bob heard her saying goodbye to Jessica. Why was he so awkward? Why was that exchange so weird? How was he supposed to make Anna want to kiss him again when he could barely string two normal sentences together?

--------------------------

Anna was trying to make a quick getaway, craving another few minutes alone with Bob. His truck was cozy, and she knew it would feel warm. His voice was sexy, and so was the way he moved. She wanted to kiss him again, even though she knew it was a terrible idea.

"Take some leftovers!"

"No, I'm fine," Anna told the hosts as Bradley tried to talk her into taking some of the extra burgers home. "But thank you." She was terrified that Jess may have said something about how sad Anna's lunches were; she had been doing her best to hide her current financial state from her friends, but she must have slipped up somehow.

"Well, will you come over for dinner one night? I love cooking for Sugar, but I always end up making way too much food."

Anna looked down at her feet. "Sure. I could do that. Jake invited me over there, too. I know he always cooks for Jess."

"Okay," Bradley said, his voice a little rough and his face annoyed when Anna looked up. "I'm a lot better at cooking than Jake is, first of all. Second of all, why don't you have dinner at his lame ass condo, and then let me know what he cooked. Then I'll cook a much better version of it for you and Sugar one night."

She was trying not to laugh; she knew they were competitive, but she didn't know it was quite this bad. "That sounds great, Bradley. Thanks for inviting me over today."

He just waved her off. "You're always welcome. You're one of us." He said it so casually before he started scraping the grill and cleaning it up, Anna just stared at the pattern of his tie dye shirt for a few seconds. He considered her part of this group now? This ridiculously cool friend group? If she thought about it for too long, she knew she would start crying.

"Thanks," she whispered, turning and running directly into Bob's solid chest.

When she looked up at him as her fingers grazed along his shirt, he asked, "You ready to head out?"

"Yeah." Anna felt the slight pressure of Bob's hand at her lower back, guiding her toward the door.

"After you," he said softly.

Anna had to walk inside the house and past Natasha, who she had clearly embarrassed herself in front of before. But the brunette just waved goodbye like she was completely unfazed by the events from earlier. Like it was totally normal for Bob and Anna to be together, heading out front to his truck as the setting sunset turned the sky orange.

Bob pulled the door open and helped her into his truck, and Anna thought maybe it was okay for this to be normal? To get a ride home from Bob after kissing him in her friend's kitchen? To have a painfully unrelenting crush on him that made her feel like perhaps love was a choice that you made for yourself?

She watched him walk around the font of the truck, his glasses catching the last rays of sunlight as the streetlights started to warm up. He was beautiful. He climbed into the truck gracefully and looked at her bashfully. She was the reason he wasn't more confident right now; she knew it, and she was annoyed with herself for it.

He cleared his throat quietly and said, "Before I forget, I have your copy of Papillon." Then he reached for the glovebox, his knuckles brushing her bare knee. "Sorry," he whispered, pulling his hand away immediately.

Anna's heart was in her throat. How was she supposed to tell him that she liked it when he touched her, even by accident. He reached for the glovebox again, this time making sure his movements kept him clear of her leg. "It's okay," she told him, breathing deep. "I didn't mind it."

The only answer she got was Bob carefully handing her worn out book back to her. There was another little note folded up inside which made her remember she never read the one that was in Wuthering Heights before she left it in her office at work. He started the engine. The drive back to her place was too long, and too short at the same time. She was surprised to find that he was heading in the right direction without a reminder about her address. As the sky darkened, Anna tried to listen to the music playing on the radio, but all she could really hear was the sound of her own heart pounding.

When Bob parked the truck in front of her building, she watched him squeeze the steering wheel with both hands while he stared out the windshield. "Anna...when you say you didn't mind it when I touched you...what does that mean? And what happened back at the cookout? Am I allowed to kiss you now? Or am I supposed to just figure out how to get over you?"

She fumbled with her seatbelt, heart thundering at the sound of his unsure voice. She wanted to ask him why he even liked her, because she had literally nothing to offer someone like Bob Floyd. But instead she said, "I meant I like it when you touch me. Even if it's by accident."

He turned to look at her, and when he saw she was crawling across the seat, his eyes went wide, and his hands slid from the steering wheel. "Anna." He inhaled a sharp breath when she planted one hand between his thighs, brushing his jeans with her fingers. She couldn't stand him thinking she didn't want him for another second. He was all she wanted. Somehow moving to San Diego got her some actual friends and a job she liked, and now a decent man with only green flags was into her, and she just couldn't make him think she felt otherwise. Even if they couldn't be together.

Bob's hands were planted on the seat at his sides, and he wasn't moving an inch as Anna straddled his legs. It was dark out, but she could see his gaze dip down to her cleavage before he met her eyes. When he spoke, his voice was deep with need. "Is it okay if I touch you now?"

"Please."

Anna's little cry of delight echoed through the cab of the truck as soon as Bob's hands settled on her bare thighs. His touch was light yet intentional, and it just left her wanting more. He was running his thumb along the frayed edge of her denim shorts, teasing her as he whispered, "I want to kiss you."

She didn't answer. Instead she reached for him, letting her fingers sink into his silky hair, leaning closer until her lips met his again. The kisses in the kitchen had been a little frantic, forcing her to get over the fact that Bob didn't want Natasha. He wanted Anna. But this was something different. Languid and slow. Needy yet decisive. She wanted to touch the rough stubble of his cheek, so she did. She wanted to feel his bottom lip tugged gently between hers, so she did. Then she parted her lips and tasted him.

The scrape of her nails along his jaw had his fingers sliding up inside the bottom of her shorts, and she wished she wasn't wearing them at all. She wanted to know the feel of his hands everywhere. "Anna," he murmured against her lips. She tugged on his hair and kissed him a little rougher, but she gasped and gave up control as soon as his big hands found their way over her shorts to her hips and yanked her snug against him. There was no more polite distance. No more breathing room. Just his hard body pressed to her soft one.

Bob's glasses were cool against her cheek, keeping her grounded as his fingers met the skin of her lower back while he tasted her tongue. His touch tickled her, and she rolled her hips forward, earning a grunt of pleasure from him. "Please," Anna whined, like it was the only word she even knew. Then her mouth was back on his. Bob's fingers traveled an inch higher, and she ground against him, but this time he broke the kiss.

When he tipped his head back, he looked bashful in the glow from the streetlights. She could feel him. He was getting hard for her, and it was delicious. Her brain supplied every suggestive line of poetry it had ever absorbed in her lifetime, and all she wanted was to make him get harder.

She was ready to start unzipping his jeans when he eased his hands away from her body and whispered, "Will you let me walk you to your door? I've been wanting to do that for weeks."

----------------------

It was slow going, trying to get to Anna's apartment door. They kept stopping to kiss, even going so far as to end up with her body pinned between his and the wall in the stairwell. Her soft laughter as he kissed the side of her neck echoed through the enclosed space, and then she said his name.

"Bob."

Actually, it was more like a whine, and it reverberated off of the walls beautifully. "Yes, Anna?" he whispered, letting her lace their fingers together. He wanted to do this all the time. He wanted to be her boyfriend.

She just made a strangled sound as he kissed as many of her freckles as he could get his lips on before pulling her away from the wall. Then they finally made it upstairs to her door. If she invited him inside, he wasn't sure what she would expect. As much as he was ready to skip all of the pleasantries, he knew he needed to do this just right.

"Oh," she whispered, seemingly to herself as she unlocked her door. But she didn't turn the knob as she looked back at him over her shoulder. Her pretty brown eyes flashed with concern, so he took a step away, but then she just looked sad.

"Everything okay?" he asked. She nodded. "Will I get to see you this week? I'd love to buy you a ginger ale at the Hard Deck. Or Chippy's."

She bit her lip before abandoning the door and wrapping her arms around his neck. She was all rough kisses on her tiptoes, and Bob was ready to turn the knob, head inside and deal with the consequences later. But she ran her tongue along his bottom lip before pulling away from him just as quickly. "I need to...I'll see you later, Bob."

In a flash, she squeezed herself in through the smallest gap imaginable, and then she gently closed her apartment door behind her. Bob stood there for a minute, his cock still half hard in his jeans as he stared at the spot where Anna had just been standing. She was giving him whiplash at this point, but maybe he sort of liked that kind of thing.

He quickly adjusted himself in his jeans before heading back downstairs and out into the cool night. He was going to have to ask Jake or Bradley how long he needed to wait before asking Anna out. They would know what to do. And he had Nat back now as well. He had enough resources that he would figure it out.

But the next day after work, they all seemed to make everything more confusing for him.

"So did you finally fuck her then?" Bradley asked casually as he put deodorant on in the locker room.

"Well, no," Bob muttered. "We just made out for a bit."

"Kids these days," Bradley muttered, shaking his head. "Well, did you at least thank Nat? For coming to your rescue?"

Bob sighed, knowing this man was going to be no help after all. "I already talked to Nat," Bob replied as they walked out of the locker room.

Of course Natasha was in the hallway and did a double take. "Did I just hear my name? I've been so popular since I got home yesterday." Her smile slipped into a look of excitement. "Did you fuck the redhead?"

Bob cradled his forehead in his hand. "Her name is Anna. And no, because I'm actually trying to date her."

"Why not both?" Nat asked, leading the way out to the parking lot. "Give that girl what she so desperately wants."

Bob was scared Anna was going to pull away again. He hadn't heard from her at all since last night when she disappeared into her apartment. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to be texting her or not today. It was like he was living in a choose your own adventure story, but somehow none of the options were correct.

He turned right toward his truck while Bradley and Nat both turned left, but then he realized that Jake had parked next to him and was already in his own truck talking on the phone. Bob tried to sneak past, but Jake put his window down and said, "Jess wants to know what's up with you and Anna."

"Is she on the phone?" Bob asked, tossing his bag into his own truck.

"Hi!" came Jessica's voice through Jake's bluetooth. "What did you do to Anna? She was practically singing when she showed up at lunch today."

Bob immediately scrambled toward Jake's truck and stuck his head in the window. "She was?"

"Yes. And she was having a hard time paying attention. You know how she gets when her head is in the clouds."

Jake met Bob's wide eyed gaze and smiled. "You should go to her office hours," the other man drawled. "That's like a green light for fucking on her desk."

"Hey!" Jessica complained through the phone while Bob grimaced. "Jake, keep your mouth shut about it. But yes, Bob, you should go to her office hours. She'd probably really like that. It shows you're thinking about her."

Well Bob was almost never not thinking about Anna, so maybe it wasn't a bad idea. "Take her some flowers," Jake added. "Seriously, man, she'll be handing you her panties within a minute."

"Hey!" came Jessica's voice again, and this time Bob ducked into his own truck, not wanting to hear any more of that conversation.

-----------------------------

Monday was a bit of a blur. The first thing Anna did when she got to her office was grab her copy of Wuthering Heights from her shelf. The note she forgot to read from Bob made her smile right away.

This book made me feel like it's okay to be completely caught up in another person to the point where you forget where you are or what you're doing. Also, I'm going to think of you every time I see a dog eared page for the rest of my life.

She whimpered softly. There had been a similar, slightly more intimate note tucked inside Papillon when she checked it last night after she squeezed herself into her depressingly tiny apartment in embarrassment. She would never be able to invite Bob inside for anything. Not for a cup of tea, and not for a sleepover.

After that, Anna spent the entire night on Sunday reading her favorite poems and touching herself. Sky Writing seemed to have fallen in love, based on his new post. That idea wasn't surprising at all. Anna was convinced he was the perfect man, so it was just a matter of time. But the thing that did surprise her was the way he wrote about a certain woman with red hair. Late into the night, she was laying in her tiny bed with her fingers inside the font of her underwear, picturing Bob as she read the words to herself.

It was almost too much. Her lips were still a little bit puffy on Monday from all the making out, and she felt sated if only by her own touch. She knew Bob's beautiful hands would be so much better, and she was still thinking about them when she went to find her friends at lunchtime.

Tuesday wasn't much better. The only damper was that she hadn't heard a single word from Bob. Nothing. She hadn't texted him either, because what was she supposed to say? Hi, I think I could fall in love with you, but I'm not allowed. Can we still make out? That would be the worst idea in the world.

"She's got her head in the clouds again."

Anna blinked a few times and realized she was sitting by the weird tree with the warm sunlight on her face. Her uneaten sandwich was in her hand, hovering halfway to her mouth, and she had been staring off into the distance. "Sorry," she muttered, finally taking a bite. Her lunch didn't even seem as sad today as she thought about Bob's hands on her thighs.

"Can you blame her?" Jessica asked. "She kissed Bob."

"Not one bit," the other woman said with a grin, as if Anna wasn't even there. "He's a damn catch. Sweetest man ever."

Anna rolled her eyes and said, "As if you aren't married to the human equivalent of a golden retriever."

"Oh, so she is paying attention," Jessica said with a laugh. "We thought you'd blasted off for planet Bob with no return ticket."

"Your astrophysics jokes are the worst," the other woman said, and Jessica pretended to pout.

"Listen. All I know is that he's a great kisser, and that his hands fit really nicely right here," Anna said pointing to her back and her hips. Both women squealed in delight. "But I can't take things any further with him."

"Why not?" Jessica demanded. "The two of you have been playing this game since you met at the bookstore. And also since you met again at the Hard Deck."

Anna thought about Kevin and all of her money that she'd never see again. She thought about her manuscripts she'd put on hold to work three jobs. She thought about how she'd willingly given up Princeton for him.

"I don't want to drag him down to where I am," she whispered, running her finger along the condensation on her can of ginger ale. "I can't be in a relationship." That's all she wanted to say about Bob and Kevin right now, still too afraid to tell her friends everything. So she cleared her throat and asked, "What's with the cooking rivalry between Bradley and Jake? It's like an episode of Chopped." That seemed to open a very controversial can of worms, but at least the focus shifted away from her personal life.

------------------------------

Bob didn't even know what kind of flowers were the right ones to get, and once again, everyone else gave him useless information.

"I rarely get flowers for Sugar. I usually just grab some good beers on my way to pick her up from school, and that's enough to seal the deal. Then I get to drink the beer I like while my hot wife goes dow-"

"We get the picture, Bradshaw," Jake said loudly. "Bob, just get some cheap flowers and save the money to make her dinner one night."

"Do not get her cheap flowers!" Natasha chimed in. "If the two of you weren't attractive looking," she said, pointing to Bradley and Jake, "Sugar and Jessica would have bailed before they bothered to uncover actual brain cells underneath the pretty hair." Both men looked startled before eventually nodding in agreement. "You need to get good flowers and plan to invite her for dinner. Not one or the other," Nat finished, pounding her fist into her other palm. "No wonder Bob never gets laid when I'm not around to straighten everything out."

"Can we not talk about that?" he mumbled, adjusting his glasses. "And it's not like I just want to...get laid. By just anybody."

"Yeah, yeah," Natasha said, tapping away on her phone. "You're a romantic. Go get her flowers like these ones."

Bob examined her screen when she held it up for him. He memorized the red and orange blooms the best he could, and soon they started to remind him of Anna's hair. "Got it," he told her, turning toward his truck before anyone else could tell him something that may or may not end up being useful. He'd get the flowers and then invite her over. He wasn't as good at cooking as Jake or Bradley, but he'd try anyway. He was mostly out of practice since he didn't have anyone to cook for, really, but they both offered to send him their favorite recipes.

The florist was nice and listened to him ramble about orange and red flowers for a minute before putting together something that was even prettier than he could have imagined. The sixty dollar price tag shocked him, but it didn't stop him from also grabbing a book from the front window of the shop next door. It was a new one he'd been wanting to read himself, not quite one of the classics that Anna seemed to favor, but he figured she wouldn't have read it yet. He'd let her borrow it and dog ear all the pages up, and then he'd read it and think about her the whole time.

But when he got to the San Diego State University campus, he sat in his truck and stared at the clock on his dashboard. It was 6:32. She had office hours until 7:00, so he really needed to head in there. Doubt was creeping in now, because they left things off at a weird place. He had no idea what Anna really wanted from him, if anything. If she told him no or hesitated today, he was going to have to start sorting out his feelings for her and dismantling them bit by bit.

It was 6:47 by the time he finally made his way through the academic building on his way to Anna's office. Several people turned and looked at him in his khaki uniform with the huge bouquet of flowers in his hand, and this would have been a lot less stressful if Anna was actually his girlfriend and not a woman he thought might never be that. When he reached the hallway that smelled like freshly baked bread, he found her small office right away where it was tucked back from the main walkway. The door was ajar, and he could hear her voice, so he stood there in the hallway a little awkwardly, trying to fight the urge to run back to his truck.

The door opened another inch, and Bob could see Anna's fingers and her burgundy painted nails peeking out as her voice got louder. "Here's a copy of the extra study guide. Don't forget there's a quiz on Monday. If you can ace that, then I think you'll be in better shape for the final. And try not to be too hard on yourself, Hemingway can be a bit of a challenge for anyone."

"Thanks, Dr. Webber."

The door opened all the way, and a young man filed out with a frown on his face, and then Anna was just standing there right in front of Bob. Her hair was in a loose braid, her lips had some sort of purple-ish gloss on them, and she was wearing some snug jeans and an SDSU sweatshirt. "Bob," she breathed, and it sounded like music. Her gaze raked over his uniform and the vibrant flowers before returning to his face, brown eyes more vulnerable than he ever thought they should be.

"Hi, Anna." He couldn't think of anything better to say as she backed up a step into her small office and nodded her head once for him to join her. After two of his long strides, Bob was practically bumping into her desk. Then she closed the door and leaned against it, hands tucked behind her back.

She cleared her throat, but her voice was still soft as she said, "You look nice in your uniform."

"Thanks," he replied automatically. She could have said anything, and he would have thanked her.

"Those are beautiful. Are they for me?" she whispered, eyes falling to the flowers again.

"Of course they are."

Bob watched her eyelashes brush her cheeks as her eyes fluttered closed. "You didn't have to do that. Flowers are so expensive."

"I got you a book, too," he said, sliding it out from behind the bouquet. Her eyes snapped open so she could read the title, and he said, "It's a new release, so I was hoping you didn't preorder it or anything."

Anna's cheeks were growing pinker by the second, making her freckles look more prominent. He was about to ask if she wanted to come over for dinner one night when she launched herself across the three feet of empty space, colliding softly with his body. Bob dropped the flowers and the book onto her desk just as she kissed him, her arms coming up to wrap around his neck.

She kissed him like they did this all the time, and his hands went right to her waist where they fit perfectly. "Thank you," she murmured against his lips. "Nobody ever got me books before you."

The words before you echoed in his brain. He didn't want there to be an after. He wanted this to be the real deal where neither of them had to be in a relationship where they weren't constantly trading books back and forth with someone.

Anna kissed him until his glasses were crooked, and she raked her fingers through his hair until he was sure it was a mess. And somehow she ended up pushing him back until he was sitting on the edge of her desk with his long legs splayed apart. He knew he was in trouble; he could feel himself slipping already. She let her hands trail down the back of his neck, over his shoulders, and down the front of his shirt. She adjusted all of his pins and touched his name tag along the way as her lips barely brushed his. Her fingers moved so slowly, he thought maybe he could get himself under control, but it was no use. He was hard in his pants, and her exploratory hands weren't stopping.

"Anna."

All that did was make her kiss him harder again.

"Please."

All that did was have her pressing the font of her jeans to his khakis with a little gasp. Maybe the guys had been right about this kind of thing after all. Maybe visiting her during office hours was all it was going to take to get to the next level. Her fingers made it all the way down to his thighs, scraping along just inches from his erection, and Bob was afraid he was going to embarrass himself. He thought about icebergs and refrigerators and the Arctic Circle, but nothing alleviated the aching heat under his skin as Anna licked his lip and almost nudged the tip of his cock.

But then she said the most devastating sentence he could think of. "Bob, I really like you. But we're just friends, okay?" Then she kissed him again like she hadn't spoken something so harsh, and he thought maybe he imagined it. "Just really good friends who make out with each other."

"Fuck," he grunted, trying to get control even as his hands kneaded the bare skin of her lower back. "Anna." He swallowed hard and pulled his mouth away from hers, examining her wide eyes. Her teeth sank into her pouty bottom lip when he said, "I was going to invite you over for dinner later this week."

"As friends?" she whispered, her hands still planted on his thighs.

Bob nodded like an idiot, because once again, he was going to agree to anything she said right then. "Sure."

She kissed him softly and said, "Okay."

-------------------------

But is it okay? Is it really? Next up, let's see how this dinner goes. We might need Nat to fully step in and take care of business again. Also, I love Bradley and Jake in this chapter so so so much! Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 9

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bamfkeeper · 5 months ago

Text

Autumn activities with Kurt~

I love fall, I'm a hugeee Halloween lover so I am feeling very excited that it's August. Anyway here's some fun things to do with Kurt for the fall. This might seem a little different from my usual writing, I wrote this over two days so I came back to it several times.

Warnings: Gender neutral reader, unedited lol

WC: 2.6k

"Come on, Kurt, I don't wanna miss out!" you exclaimed, tugging him along enthusiastically. Your smile widened as you both walked down the picturesque path towards the beloved local farm. You were absolutely thrilled because the farm had already set up the intricate corn maze, which was one of your favorite seasonal attractions. In addition to the maze, they were offering delightful hay rides that meandered through the scenic landscape of the farmland and offered fresh ciders brewed by the farmers.

The farm was also bustling with activity as they sold a variety of pumpkins, crisp apples, and other delicious fruits that were all locally grown and freshly harvested. The entire atmosphere was filled with the excitement of the fall season, and you couldn't wait to explore every bit of it.

"Ja, ja, I can teleport us there too, liebe!" Kurt said with a playful grin, stumbling along with your enthusiastic tug. He tried his best to keep up with your eagerness, his heart swelling with affection. Kurt loved seeing your smile, how it stretched over your entire face, lighting up your eyes as you got to experience something that genuinely made you happy. The joy you radiated was infectious, and he cherished every moment he got to share in your excitement. It was in these moments that he felt closest to you, connected by the pure happiness that seemed to envelop you both.

You arrived at the farm, and a wave of excitement washed over you. The farm's distinctive scent filled the air, perfectly capturing the essence of fall. It was a comforting and familiar smell that you had dearly missed since last year. As you took in the surroundings, vibrant autumn colors painted the landscape, leaves crunching beneath your feet. "Can you smell that, Kurt?" you asked, turning to your blue darling with a smile. You took a deep breath, savoring the crisp, earthy aroma and sighed blissfully, "It's fall, and everything feels just right again..." The moment was filled with a sense of nostalgia and anticipation for the seasonal activities ahead.

Kurt chuckled warmly, clearly happy to see you so thrilled, especially since you had seemed rather down lately. Anything he could do to help you feel happier, he'd do without hesitation. "Ja...they have a lot of things here, don't they?" he said, taking the time to glance around at the beautifully decorated farm. The owners must really go all out for their showings, he thought, noting the intricate details and festive touches that adorned the place. The vibrant colors, the cheerful atmosphere, and the meticulous care put into every corner of the farm made it a truly special experience.

Kurt felt a sense of admiration for the effort that went into creating such a delightful environment. It reminded him of the circus and how they did their very best to present the entire grounds for the public.

"This is beautiful, lots of...pumpkins and apples," Kurt commented, taking in the vibrant decorations and the festive atmosphere around him. You were practically raving beside him, barely able to stay in place, but you kept your excitement under control the best you could. The autumn air was crisp and cool, adding to the enchantment of the scene.

Your eyes immediately went to the snacks they had meticulously prepared for everyone. Caramel apples, popcorn, pies, pops, cider—everything you adored was laid out on beautifully decorated tables. The scent of cinnamon and baked goods filled the air, making it even harder to contain your joy. The laughter and chatter of people enjoying the season added to the warm, inviting ambiance of the gathering.

What surprised Kurt was that there were both humans and mutants freely roaming around the farm. This was not something he was accustomed to seeing; mutants who looked different, like him, usually attracted a lot of unwanted attention in public spaces. Here, however, they weren't given a second glance. He looked around in amazement, almost confused by the sight before him, and you noticed his bewilderment. Your elbow nudged him lightly as you explained, "The owners welcome everyone here. They tragically lost their son, who was a mutant, so…they actively display their farm as a safe haven for all of us."

"Ah...I see," he murmured thoughtfully. He then shifted his gaze back to the owners of the farm, an older couple who stood nearby. They looked like the quintessential image of typical farmers, with weathered faces that told tales of years spent working. Their eyes were kind, filled with a warmth that instantly put one at ease. Their gentle nature was evident in the way they carried themselves, moving with a calm and steady grace. Friendly smiles adorned their faces, radiating genuine hospitality and a sense of welcome that seemed to embrace everyone who came to their farm.

"Come on! Let's go on a hayride! We can get some hot apple cider too, and maybe even pet the horses!" you exclaimed excitedly, tugging him along towards the rustic wooden wagon. The crisp autumn air filled your lungs as you approached, and you saw the magnificent horses already harnessed and ready to pull the wagon for anyone eager for a ride. The horses were gorgeous. They had sleek, well-groomed coats, their manes flowed gently in the gentle breeze of the cloudy afternoon. The horse's ear flicked and it turned its head to look at you approaching.

You grinned widely, feeling a rush of joy, slowing your approach as to not spook the two horses. Reaching up, you gently pet the horse's strong, muscular neck, feeling the warmth of its body and the softness of its fur. The horse nickered softly, acknowledging your gentle touch. "I love horses...they're amazing animals." You commented softly.

"The circus had lots of horses. And zebras," Kurt commented, gently stroking the other horse's nose and then moving his hand up over its forehead. "They are very intelligent animals, more than most think." He paused for a moment, admiring the animal's calm demeanor.

You both climbed into the wagon, eager and excited to go on the hay ride around the expansive farm. The farm was a large patch of land, ensuring that the ride wouldn't be short and sweet but rather leisurely and an enjoyable experience. It reminded you of rides when you were a kid, so excited for the fall holidays to come without a worry in the world. As the wagon began to move, you sat closer to Kurt, feeling the warmth of his presence beside you.

You sipped on some delicious, warm cider, savoring the taste as you looked around the picturesque farm. The brilliant apple trees stood tall, their branches heavy with ripe fruit, and the vibrant pumpkin patch sprawled out before you, each pumpkin seemingly more perfect than the last. The horses wheeled around to see the intricate hay maze, its paths promising adventure and fun. The feeling of these happy things— the crisp autumn air, the vibrant colors, the laughter of families enjoying their day—made you feel so warm inside, a deep contentment settling over you. You were thrilled that Kurt was with you this year to experience all these wonderful moments.

"How do you like it so far? It's nice, right?" you asked, your voice filled with excitement and warmth while you were snuggled into his side, feeling his comforting presence beside you. He smiled in return, leaning his head over yours. "Ja...it's really nice."

"Just wait! We're gonna get pumpkins, and try the snacks, and go through the corn maze!" you said excitedly, smiling ear to ear. "There will be so many different kinds of pumpkins to choose from. We can get other stuff too if you want, like some apple cider or maybe even some fresh berries. And we can head back home and make pies together. It'll be so much fun to bake and fill the house with the smell of fresh pies...and we'll carve our pumpkins too!"

Kurt listened to you ramble excitedly about all the things you wanted to do with him, smiling at you the entire time. His eyes sparkled with amusement and affection as you listed off your plans. "Ja, ja, liebe...we can do all of it. I have not seen you so happy in a long time," he commented, his voice warm and full of love, not negatively but in a pleased way.

He chuckled softly at the end of your little rant when you mentioned the pumpkins, the sound rich and comforting, and he tilted his head thoughtfully, "Carving pumpkins, it is a little too early for that, ja? They will rot before Halloween if we carve them now!" His laughter was infectious, making you feel even more eager to spend time together, planning and enjoying each moment to the fullest.

"Well," you huffed and sat up straighter, playfully smirking at him, "It gives us a reason to come back here and get another pumpkin next time. We can even make it a little tradition of ours."

He rolled his eyes and smiled at you, clearly amused by your enthusiasm. "Alright, alright, schatz...if that's what you want," he said, his voice filled with affection. He leaned in and kissed your temple softly, then pulled back to grin at you warmly. "Who knows, maybe we'll find the perfect pumpkin next time."

"Both times!" You replied gleefully, savoring the joyous moment as the hayride continued its leisurely pace. After the hayride, you eagerly set off to explore the pumpkin patch, your eyes scanning the vast array of pumpkins laid out before you.

You were particularly picky, determined to find the most perfect pumpkin for you and Kurt to carve together later. Each pumpkin was a potential masterpiece in your eyes, and you examined them meticulously. Kurt watched you with a mixture of amusement and admiration, seeing how you scrutinized each pumpkin with a sharp, discerning eye. You carefully considered the color, ensuring it was the ideal shade of orange. The shape had to be just right – round with a flat bottom for stability when carving. Size was another crucial factor; it needed to be large enough to create an impressive design but not so big that it would be cumbersome to handle.

You hummed a cheerful tune as you eagerly picked up a perfect pumpkin from the patch. With a proud smile, you showed it to Kurt, "This one!" You walked over to him, carefully handing him the round, robust pumpkin. Kurt took it from you and looked at it, returning your smile. He didn’t know much about the nuances of picking the perfect pumpkin, having always assumed you just grabbed one that caught your eye. To him, it seemed like a simple task, but you made it sound so intricate and important, as if there was an art to selecting the very best one from the patch.

"Ah, ja, this one is very plump," he remarked, examining the pumpkin thoroughly before setting it aside. He observed you intently as you scampered off to find another one, admiring your playful giddiness. "Are we going to carry these all the way back?" he called out to you, his voice filled with a mixture of curiosity and amusement. He continued to watch you hop over pumpkins, not receiving an answer since you were too focused on your search.

After the farmers graciously let you borrow a small wagon to pull your proud pumpkins, you both wandered through the expansive and winding corn maze. The maze was a labyrinth of tall, rustling stalks that seemed to stretch endlessly in every direction. As you meandered through the maze, you found yourselves playing around joyfully.

He would chase you with playful determination, laughter echoing through the corn. "I will catch you, liebe!" Kurt called as you laughed happily and ran from him. He caught you eventually, without cheating and teleporting. You tumbled down carefully and giggled as he blew raspberries on your neck.

After you played chase, you hide behind the towering corn stalks and waited for your chance to jump out unexpectedly, scaring him for fun and eliciting delighted squeals from the both of you. "Liebe! Mein Gott, I almost had a heart attack!" he laughed playfully with you. "You are getting better at sneaking, have you been training in the Danger Room without telling me?" He poked his tongue out at you.

The corn maze was fun, with its winding paths and unexpected turns providing plenty of entertainment. However, after navigating the maze for a while, you both started to feel hungry. Deciding it was time for a break, you headed over to the snack area. There, you found a delightful variety of treats lovingly made by the farmers and decided to try just about everything. There were slices of pumpkin pie and pecan pie, fresh fruits like apples and berries, and delicious caramel apples with homemade caramel.

You were so incredibly excited and completely caught up in the moment, indulging in these delightful comfort foods with such passion that even the sin of gluttony would be envious. It wasn't all your fault...the farmers were so kind and they just kept giving you food like loving grandparents trying to feed their kin. Kurt playfully teased you, gently poking your nose as he affectionately called you, "My sweet little cavity," followed by a chuckle and a tender kiss on your cheek. "I think we've had enough sweets for today... I feel like I'm going to go into a sugar coma," he laughed, somewhat embarrassed. Kurt had eaten far more sugar than he was accustomed to.

By the time you got back to the mansion, you felt the weight of the sugar hit you like a ton of bricks, making you incredibly sleepy, and Kurt felt exactly the same way. After you both managed to carry in your respective pumpkin and bag of goodies, which were now feeling much heavier than they did earlier, the two of you trudged up to the bedroom. Without even needing to discuss it, you silently agreed that you both needed a well-deserved nap to recover from the day's activities and all the sugary treats you had consumed. The soft bed looked so inviting, and the thought of sinking into its comfort was too tempting to resist.

As you lay down on the soft, inviting bed, you felt a gentle wave of relaxation wash over you, knowing that this upcoming nap would rejuvenate you for the rest of the evening. You couldn't help but watch Kurt as he casually stripped his top off, your eyes tracing the way his well-defined abdomen flexed with each movement. The sight made your loins stir with excitement and need. However, it wasn't enough to distract you from the overwhelming desire for sleep. The need to rest and recharge was the dominating feeling right now.

As you snuggled into him, feeling the warmth and safety he provided, you sighed deeply, a sense of contentment washing over you. A soft, serene smile crept up your face, spreading slowly as you reveled in the moment. He could feel your smile against his fur, the gentle curve of your lips pressing into him, and it made him chuckle softly. "What is it, schatz... you are grinning ear to ear..." he murmured lovingly into your hair, his voice a tender whisper that sent shivers down your spine, his accent sounded thicker whenever he was tired.

"Oh, nothing..." you trailed off, your voice barely more than a whisper as you leaned into him. You buried your face in his chest, feeling the warmth and softness of his fur against your skin, and took a deep breath in, inhaling deeply. His fur tended to keep scents for longer than normal, making it feel like you were enveloped in a comforting aroma that lingered. The scent reminding you of autumn days, warm drinks, and cozy evenings by the fire. All of the wonderful scents you had from your eventful day imbedded in his velvety blue skin.

"You just smell like pumpkins," you murmured softly.

Thanks for reading.

*BAMF*

Cover Images: House of X #3 (2019)

Dividers by @/adornedwithlight

#kurt wagner #nightcrawler #kurt wagner x reader #nightcrawler x reader #x men #xmen #x men 97 #🎠my works

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cherriesformatt · 7 months ago

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sand || matt sturniolo

matt x fem!reader

summary: matt surprised you with your dream date because he saw some tiktoks you reposted about it

warnings: pure fluff

word count: 1,3k

a/n: I saw this on TikTok and it was just so cute I had to write about it. Thank you guys for all the love under few last stories. I am really happy ily all! Remember English is not my first language so be patient with me! Now enjoy its so cheesy...

Matt told me this morning to get ready for a day because he is taking me out off town for a day. I was exited because the weather was beautiful today and it was so sunny and warm. May grey was making me wanna scream because it was so literally grey and foggy all the time so I was happy that sun was out (and if I'm lucky someones son is going to be inside me 😎 my fav joke to annoy matt). I wore a nice sundress and curled my hair. I did light makeup and I was waiting for Matt to pick me up. When he texted me that he was here I took my purse and sunglasses and went out. I locked my apartment and walked to the elevator that took me to the garage. I did not have a car so Matt always parked on my parking spot which came with my apartment. I smiled when I saw him leaning on his car.

"Hi..."I smiled at him and waved walking in his direction.

"Hi... you look beautiful baby" He pushed himself up and opened arms for me.

"So do you..." I smiled and threw my arms around his neck and kissed him lightly.

He was wearing denim shorts, white nikes and sleeveless black tee. His tattoos were showing. I loved them so much. His hair was fluffy and he had sunglasses on them taking some of his hair back. He looked so good.

"Get in loser were going to the beach" He said again after I moved away and patted my bum.

"Aw great I am so happy... the weather is so beautiful today and did you just quote mean girls? Who are you?" I said and got into the car after he opened the door for me. We were standing on the passenger side anyways.

"I know how you love the beach in spring time so I decided we could have some time on a nice beach...Malibu? And thats your fault you watch it all the time"He smiled.

I loved going up to Malibu. And yes I did love mean girls.

"I love you Matthew" I said happily and he laughed and closed my doors and went to his side. I loved him the most tho.

While we were driving I connected my phone to the aux and put some music on from our shared playlist so I did not have to listen to Matt's whine about my songs.

"So I am thinking brunch, ice cream and then beach or do you wanna take food to the beach? I have some snacks and drinks for us too" He said.

"We can take food to the beach" I said and he nodded agreeing with me.

"Cos he was sunshine I was midnigh...."I looked at Matt so he could finish singing.

"Rain...."He sang and I smiled.

"Oh how world would love you for singing Taylor" I laughed.

"It is you special only, I am not singing to anyone else" He said.

"You're in a good mood today.... Chris and Nick didn't have a chance to piss you off today?" I put my hand on his knee and stroked it gently.

"They were still sleeping when I left but I told them yesterday that were going away for a day and yes I am in a good mood because I missed you and you are so cute in your dress and I am exited about our date" He said and also put his hand on my thigh and left it there.

"Aww do its a date?" I smiled.

"Yes, it's a date...." He smiled as well.

Whole drive we were talking and singing and talking shit about other drivers and people because thats us.

When we finally arrived at Malibu we stopped to get some food and then we drove to the beach.

"What's that?" I asked when Matt took a bag from the trunk after he handed me food and drinks along with a blanket.

"You will see" He said.

"Okay..."I said looking at him suspiciously.

We settled down far from other people so we could have some privacy just in case someone would recognized Matt.

"So... I bought this" He took out glue and canvas from the bag.

"Oh my god....Matt how did you know I wanted to do this?" I gasped happily knowing already what is it all for.

"I follow you on TikTok you know" He laughed what made my laughed as well. I forgot I must have reposted some TikTok about this.

"Can I make a TikTok from this?" I asked him.

"Of course you can but let's eat first because knowing us we will get glue everywhere" He smiled.

"Probably.... Matt thats so cute I can't believe... you're the best boyfriend ever and like I never had to beg you for a good date.... you always just do this out of nowhere and it's been almost two years" I said.

Time with Matt was my favorite time of my life. He was my everything and I don't even remember who I was before I met him.

"Well.. I am trying out here, so are you, you're the best" He put some of my hair behind my ear.

I got up on my knees and kissed him. I loved him so much and it was all so cute that I couldn't resist.

"Our food will be cold" He laughed in my lips and I peck his lips one more time and moved to sit down on my spot.

We ate and opened some drinks. Then Matt went to throw away empty food containers while I prepared the canvas and glue.

"Ready?"I smiled and he gave me his hand.

I put some glue on in and distributed it all over his hand with my own.

Then we sticked our hands to the canvas.

"I hope it's going to work" I said while putting sand on one when he was putting sand on other.

Then we cleaned the access of the sand and only our sandy hand prints were left on the white canvas.

"Oh it's so cute Matt! It worked" I said.

"It did... here, you write our initials on mine and I will on yours" He handed me pastel pink marker. Pastel pink was my favorite color.

I did what he said and on the back I left a little note and the date.

"Let's go cleaned our hands?" He asked and I nodded.

We went to clean our hands in the ocean and came back. After we packed everything we took a walk by the shore and came back to the car.

"Would you like to stay at my place tonight?" He asked while we were driving.

"Yes... you have to show me how much you missed me" I winked at him and he laughed.

"You're impossible" He shook his head.

I edited the TikTok and posted it. It was very cute and I sent a picture to the group chat we had with his brothers.

"Your brother just called you a lover boy" I said and laughed.

"He can fuck himself" He rolled his eyes.

"Oh Matty but you are my loverboy...."I looked at him with a big smile.

"I will drop you off in your apartment actually" He said and it made me laugh even more.

"Okay okay I am done" I put my hands up in defense.

"Thought so..."He said and put his hand on my upper thigh under my dress. It made my body cover with goosebumps.

I smiled.

"Thank you for today... I loved every second of it" I told him.

"Don't thank me just yet...the night is still young sweetheart" He winked at me.

"Oh my god, he winked everybody" I said and put my hand on my lips acting surprised.

"Okay that's it, you're walking home, I am stopping right here" He laughed.

"You love me too much" I said.

" You right, I do..."He said back and took my hand to his lips and kissed it gently and then left both of our hands on his tight.

I was the luckiest girl in the whole world.

#chris sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #cherriesformatt

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cobaltperun · 15 days ago

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Eternal Flame (15) - Why’d you only call me when you’re high

Jenna Ortega x Female Reader

Summary: For her it’s a passion, for you it’s an accident. And as she continues shining brighter and brighter with each role you are left mesmerized, drawn to her flame and cherishing every time she lets herself be vulnerable with you.

Spotify playlist

Masterlist / First Part / Previous part / Next part

Word Count: 4.7k

-Decided that once again I was just dreaming of bumping into you-

You felt free, finally going through your days without feeling all of that weight on your shoulders, and you were busy cleaning up all of the mistakes you made. You had to do it before you had the chance to see Jenna again, and there was still one more person from you past you needed to settle your score with, at least in a way.

Surprisingly, it was raining today and you forgot your umbrella, but frankly you didn't really care. You felt good and no amount of rain could change that, besides even through all of the rain you could occasionally see a ray of sunlight breaking through the clouds, and it just made you happy. No matter how long the rain would last, the sunlight would eventually break through the clouds, as cliche as that sounded.

You went and walked through the doors of the gym, taking off the hood from your head as you did so. You looked around, contemplating the decisions that led you here. Despite everything that happened and the fact that he pulled you into that, you couldn't deny that Davis also gave you a job, an actual proper job at this gym that could sustain you if you chose to quit fighting.

“Not exactly a busy day,” you said as you approached his desk. Why he kept the desk in the gym instead of having an office was beyond you, but it made things easier for you now. It only now crossed your mind, but now that you thought about it maybe that was how he spotted the potential fighters. You looked over the guys working out, seeing as those were his usual targets for recruitment, and wondered if any of them would take the chance if he offered it.

“Is it? I barely noticed,” sarcasm slipped through his façade of indifference, but he didn't look mad at you. Not that you really cared if he was mad, but he certainly didn't look mad. “Come and sit. Do you want something to drink or maybe grab a meal? I can order something,” hell, he seemed somewhat happy to see you.

“No, I'm good. I just wanted to come by and thank you,” you said, though you did take a seat. No matter how those fights affected your life you couldn't deny that they did give you a chance to save your parents, and later down the line, even if you did do it for different reasons, they did give you enough money to finish high school without having to spread yourself thin and find a full time job.

Davis looked at you with a raised eyebrow. “It was just business. You fought and we both earned money, I gave you a job here and your dedication to it brought me more money. At the end of the day we both profited from this arrangement.”

That was one way to look at it, and you didn’t lie to yourself, Davis did none of it out of the goodness of his heart. He just saw profit and took his chance, a businessman through and through, only connected to rather brutal business.

“You took a chance, one most people wouldn't,” he saw the desperation and found away to cash it in, cruel, but beneficial for both of you. And in a way because of that there was one more thing you wanted to do, a rather ridiculous thing to do, but you wanted the clean slate. So, you went and pulled out a fairly large envelope from your jacket and you placed it in front of him.

“What's this?” he asked and your shrugged.

“$128,000, the exact amount I earned after my parents died, for thirty wins and eight losses. I got paid so I'm giving it all back. I’m starting over so I want to completely separate myself from that time of my life. I know this doesn't erase it. nothing will ever erase it, but in some way, it feels like almost filthy money. Not in the: ‘I did something illegal’ way but in the ‘I did something I shouldn’t have’ way,” you've been thinking about it for a while now, ever since you decided to quit fighting, and you got paid enough from the movies you did lately so you could afford this.

Davis didn't think it over for one bit, he just pushed the envelope back to you. “So, then donate this to some charity. Help some people in need. I don't care how you feel about this money, but you earned it with blood and sweat, and all the effort you put into being able to fight like that. You want a clean slate? You'll never get it, accept that it was a part of you and try to do some good with it if you really want to make up for whatever hurt this caused to you or your loved ones,” he said and you found yourself considering his words. You offered the money to him, he didn't take it, so you took it back.

“Sure, you got any charity you want me to donate this to?” you asked as you got up.

“Make a wish,” his answer was immediate, and for a moment you put it all together and nodded, silently acknowledging just how similar the two of you might have been. You’d never know for sure, and you didn’t need to know for sure.

“Take care,” you turned to leave, understanding that this was the last time you would ever talk to this man. There would never be a reason for him or you to reach out to one another again.

“You too, kid. Don't go finding another person to recruit you into fights,” he replied and you raised your hand, waving slightly as you walked out of the gym.

~X~

It was late at night when Jenna stumbled through the motel, back to her room, smelling like booze and smoke, and just feeling downright awful with the headache already starting. She felt like throwing up, as if everything else wasn’t already enough. She’s been getting somewhat drunk over the past month, seeing as she could legally drink here, and her co-stars didn't mind having some fun. But tonight was just a completely different beast! She went bar hopping with Scott, and was now damn near blackout drunk as she stumbled into her room.

The alcohol hit her hard, and she should have guessed that would happen when she began mixing it. She just fell onto her bed, sick and tired of the smell that was now stuck to her clothes. She really needed to get up and go to the bathroom to freshen up, to wash her face and maybe throw up, she wasn’t sure, and she needed to drink something for her headache and the inevitable hangover.

So, she pushed herself to her feet and nearly tripped on her way to the bathroom. She wasn't even happy, she progressively got more miserable with every shot she took. With every drop of alcohol she just missed you more and more.

A cynical voice in her head invaded her mind as she began washing her face after throwing up, telling her she's gotten so far as an actress. Months ago, she got so self-conscious about her feelings for you that she couldn't black out and kiss you, yet here she was, just days ago filming a scene where she was stripped down to her underwear, crawling over to a guy 19 years older than her. If you were there you would have first of all made sure she was completely comfortable, like you did before you were supposed to kiss. She pushed through the scene, thankful that she didn’t have lines in it, because she was just thinking about you through it all.

The cynical voice kept mocking her, taunting her as she remembered the one and only time her lips touched yours. The way you so softly caressed her cheek, how right the kiss felt for her, and in her drunken state she caught herself wondering yet again just how she allowed herself to throw it all away.

She barely remembered to turn the water off, before she took her clothes off and went to the chair she left your shirt on. The feel of your shirt against her skin felt right, and Jenna glanced at the mirror. The shirt looked more like a rather short dress on her, and she went back to the bed, dropping on it before covering herself with your jacket. As the days passed she’s been getting more and more attached to these two articles of clothing, at this point they might as well be her own. Nothing about them reminded her of you anymore, other than just knowing that they were once yours. She's washed the shirt so many times that even trying to figure out what perfume you used wouldn’t help.

Yet, they still somehow brought her comfort. Just a few more days, just a few more unbearable days without you, and then she could try to fix what she did.

She wasn't exactly in the right state of mind, too drunk to even consider the consequences or think about how it would affect her decision to make sure your first contact would be face to face. She just opened her camera and snapped a picture of herself laying on the bed, your jacket thrown off and next to her, and she looked at the camera while her fingers tugged at the collar of your shirt.

And she went and sent it to you, not even caring about what time it was where you were. Hell, she wasn’t even completely aware of what time it was, she just knew it was the middle of the night, and that you should be sleeping. She didn’t even consider how this would look. Or that the first thing you would get from her wasn't even an apology or a plea to meet up, but rather a photo of her looking drunk.

She tossed her phone aside, her mind drifting to everything that happened between you. How you would hold her, lift her up, hug her, how it felt to you have your arms around her. How soft your cheeks felt against her lips, or how she felt butterflies in her stomach whenever she could feel your own lips on her skin. Jenna remembered all that in vivid detail as she drifted between being asleep and awake, just barely opening her eyes to see if you got the message. She considered sending you another one, though she didn't even have any ideas why. She just felt like doing it, besides, she’s been getting the chance to see your photos from the vacation every now and then, and she was sure you didn't know about that. So maybe it was just fair of her to let you see her now. And then she checked the messages and was immediately startled awake when she saw ‘delivered’ changing to ‘seen’.

“Oh shit!” she watched with bated breath as you did nothing. You didn't start typing, you just saw the message and in her panicked state and fear that you were now absolutely furious at her she hit the call button frantically.

The seconds almost felt as if each one lasted for an eternity, and then finally, you picked up.

“Jen?” you said her nickname, not even her name, but the nickname! And she just wasn't even sure how she felt about it, despite how much she loved hearing you say it. On one hand the relief flooded her entire body, on the other hand she felt like crying, because after all that happened the first word to come out of your mouth was her nickname. “Are you OK? Say something, please,” she heard you sitting up frantically, and for a moment she wondered if you were as nervous as she was.

“I’m not OK, I miss you,” she once again felt sick in her stomach and this time it had nothing to do with alcohol she consumed, although she guessed that only amplified everything now.

“Jen, focus on my voice. Take a deep breath for me, you'll be fine,” you spoke so softly, and she didn't feel like she deserved it. You immediately, without any apology or explanation from her, slipped right back into that same protective nature, calming her down before her anxiety could take over. “Can you do that for me?”

“I can,” she took a deep breath, audible enough for you to hear, and the sigh of relief coming from your side was almost enough to make her cry.

“Just like that, Jen, you're doing great. Focus on something else, think of being somewhere where you're not alone,” you instructed her, and Jenna knew exactly where she wanted to be.

“I want to be with you. I want you to hug me and lift me up, and take me in your arms and just-“ she suppressed a sob as best as she could. “I just want to feel you all around me, Y/N,” she buried her face in her pillow, trying to cover up her sobs.

“I can't do much from here, maybe, I don’t know, do you want to FaceTime?” you offered but she couldn't accept that, she couldn’t let you see just how broken she was by all of this, by this overwhelmingly long distance between you, and now by this sudden development. You were talking to her, she was listening to your voice, and it felt like nothing changed.

“It's not the same,” she wanted to, if she ever had the rights to do something like that again, feel you in every way she could think of. To give you everything she had, to let you take anything you wanted as long as you stayed by her side.

“I know, I miss you too,” those words filled her with warmth, and despite tears she smiled. “I wanted to see you, I want to explain myself and apologize for what happened,” you had nothing to apologize for in Jenna’s mind. You weren't the one who was refusing to see things from another perspective, you weren't the one who rejected her, she was the one who did all that, she was the one who couldn't see past the initial negative reaction she had.

“I’m the one who messed up,” she argued, crying out of despair and sorrow.

“Jen, don’t. Don’t think like that, it was a natural reaction to what you found out. There is nothing wrong with how you reacted. Jenna, listen to me, I will never blame you for anything that happened these past three months. You had every right to react like that, I kept a secret I should have never kept from you,” why were you so damn understanding when she hurt you so much. When she let things go to far, when she didn’t immediately, right in front of you, berate her father for what he did to you.

“I don't know what to do. I don't know how to make it up to you,” she whispered, wondering if she would ever be able to forgive herself because while you clearly weren't angry with her, she still struggled to forgive herself.

“How about we start over, hmm? We acknowledge what happened and move on,” despite all the negative emotions she felt this idea still made her feel happy. That was what she wanted, more than anything, to just once again have you in her life.

“I want that, I want all of you, Y/N,” and your breath hitched at that, and Jenna just realized she said the same thing she said when you were over at her parents’ house. “I want to give you all of me, anything you want.”

“You have all of me, you've had all of me for a long time now, hell before I even knew it,” she trusted every word you said. Did you even notice how easily you stopped her before her panic attack could even begin? That was how easily you affected her, how much just hearing your voice meant to her. That was how safe you made her feel, because being vulnerable felt right as long as it was with you.

“I don't know how to make my parents understand,” she admitted, hoping you would somehow put her mind to ease about that concern as well.

“I'll make an effort. I'll get them to see I'm not a danger to you,” you decided so easily, yet she didn't want that.

“That's not what I want, Y/N. You shouldn't have to prove anything to them, my dad punched you, pointed a gun at you, my entire family has been against you and if anyone should make an effort it's them,” yet, though she felt that, she had no idea how to get there. Enrique tried his best, he told them everything he told her, yet they barely listened. They acknowledged that he probably had the point, but in their eyes, it was too late now. The mistakes were made, the resentment had infected your relationship with them in their eyes. So, at this point they were choosing the easier path for them, even if the cost was her own happiness. They thought that they could just brush everything under the rug, ignore the problem and face no repercussions, because she couldn't cut them out of her life. And they knew how much they mattered to her, that she couldn't ever choose anyone if it meant cutting them off.

So, they wouldn't make that effort, hoping that their silence would perhaps chase you away. And Jenna hated it. Deep down she knew that she needed both you and her family in her life, and yet she feared that lack of effort on their part would make her lose you. That you wouldn’t be able to take it.

“I don't care,” you just shattered that concern into pieces. “I don't care who's right or wrong here. I don't care who needs to apologize, all I want is you. Jen, if having you in my life means I have to deal with awkward family reunions, or constant concerns or questions, or anything your parents can throw at me, I don't care, I still want you. This is our relationship, and I will never jeopardize it for another person, no matter who they are and no matter what they did. And I will never ask you to sacrifice anything, let alone your relationship with your family for us. So, whatever concern you have we'll get through it.”

You've never been like this before. This open and vulnerable. Something changed within you since you left Coachella on that day, and she wasn't sure what it was. But, she could feel it in every word you spoke. You had something worth fighting for, your relationship with her, and there was nothing that could make you stop fighting, nothing other than Jenna herself telling you she didn't want it. And for the first time in her life Jenna fully believed this between you was permanent. That no matter what happened or who tried to get between the two of you she knew that she was yours for the rest of her life, and if your words were any indication, you were hers as well.

“You're too much,” she managed a weak laugh, broken up by sobs. “I need you next to me so much, Y/N, need to feel you, to love you,” you were too much in the best way possible. Loving her so intensely and she found herself just giving in to it, just hoping she could love you with the same intensity.

“I'm just in love,” you said surprising her once again tonight.

It just slipped right out of her mouth as well. “I'm in love too. I love you,” as if everything else she said about how much she needed and wanted you wasn't enough of a confession, she just went and said it.

“I love your, Jenna,” she swore she could hear the smile in your words, and she was sure you were grinning. She closed her eyes and though she desperately wanted to keep this going she knew she was just about to fall asleep.

“I don't think I can stay awake for much longer,” she yawned, relieved and happy now.

“Sleep well, Love,” and you both kind of laughed at that, because that was exactly how your character called Tara. Thinking about it now, there were quite a few similarities between you and Jenna and your character and Tara.

“Stay with me until I fall asleep, please,” she asked, knowing it wouldn't take her long to fall asleep.

“Of course, I am right here, I'm not leaving you again,” you whispered and even if you were on the other side of the world Jenna felt closer to you than even back when the two of you were watching Logan.

~X~

The dream last night was the best one she had in months, the only thing that could have made it better was if you were actually physically present during the conversation instead of talking over the phone, but she figured that gave the dream some kind of plausibility and made it feel more real. “I should never drink again, that was a mistake,” Jenna groaned, burying her face in her hands, only to hear her phone dropping onto the mattress. Why was her phone in her hand? She looked at it, puzzled. She must have fallen asleep with it, it was probably nothing to be worried about. Jenna sat up and looked down at herself, blushing. Oh, she really got drunk last night. She’s fallen asleep like this before, wearing your shirt, but this was a new low even for her. She had absolutely nothing underneath it.

And then she unlocked her phone, and her eyes widened as she came face to face with not only your messages open, but a phone call that she initiated. And above it all? A picture of her and she looked downright inappropriate on it, especially considering she had nothing underneath your shirt. She was tugging at the color of your shirt, her hair was a mess, a sleeve of your jacket could be seen next to her head, and why was she sucking in her damn lower lip like that?!

She may have been overreacting, but frankly she couldn’t tell. This this was the first thing you got from her in two and a half months? This thing was the first thing you saw? And with the way she was looking at the camera in the photo she might as well have written ‘fuck me’ on the photo! And then she had the guts to call you, ruining everything she's so meticulously planned. What did she even say to you?! And then it hit her at the time she was calling you it was already past four in the morning where you were! She woke you up, she went and woke you up drunk and emotional and who knows what else, and that dream wasn't a dream it was actually reality and it all came back to her as if in an instant! As the memories flooded her Jenna wasn't sure whether to scream, cry, laugh, or explode with happiness, because she didn't want it to turn out this way but she got the results! She told you everything she wanted to tell you, and she said it so clumsily just throwing it all at you in the complete opposite way of how she planned to do it.

And it worked!

It not only worked, but you said you loved her back!

Just like that, one conversation, ten minutes. That's all it took for two and a half months of tension, despair, frustration, depression, loneliness, longing, and hundreds of different things she couldn't even think of right now as her migraine made her head feel like it would explode, all end. All it took to fix all of that was ten minutes of drunken rambling and crying and telling you everything she felt.

Oh, why the fuck didn't she just do it before?! If all she had to do to fix all of this was to just grab a shit-ton of alcohol, and pour it down her throat, then she should have done it sooner!

Right, that all happened… and now she was looking at the plane ticket for Denver she booked, and the eighteenth couldn’t come sooner.

~X~

Despite all the eagerness she felt when she boarded the plane from New Zealand to Denver and excitement when she met up with Barbara, Jenna now found herself progressively getting more and more nervous as Barbara’s dad drove them to your apartment building.

“You're lucky my dad is right here, or I'd be teasing the hell out of you,” Barbara turned to look at her and Jenna believed the girl wholeheartedly. If there was one thing she learned in these past two months it was that this girl had no mercy, and would only stop teasing if she really couldn't do it. For example, like right now, when her dad was in the car with them, and Jenna supposed that would be enough to tell her what kind of teasing Barbara had in mind. Probably something along the line of: ‘This is the most elaborate help me get laid plan ever’ because that was actually something Barbara said when Jenna explained what she had in mind. It wasn't even all that elaborate at all. Jenna got from New Zealand to Denver on a plane, Barbara and her dad picked her up, and the reason for that was simple. Jenna had her suitcases, and her bag, and she had, as she ever so often mentioned, noodle arms which could not handle carrying all of this stuff all at once up the stairs to your apartment.

“I'm really thankful you came to pick me up,” Jenna said, and she honestly was thankful for that because it would have been a lot more complicated if she had to do all of this by herself. She might have even gotten so desperate as to call you to help her with her suitcases, and that would just ruined everything in her mind.

“As long as you get the girl, it's all good,” Barbara clearly couldn't stop teasing entirely, and had to leave that quip in.

Barbara's dad parked close enough to the building and the three of them climbed up to your apartment. They left Jenna’s suitcases in front of your doors and Barbara turned to her. “You know, I could give you the keys so you can walk right in and surprise her like that,” Barbara suggested one last time, but Jenna didn't want that. She wanted to knock on your door and see you as you opened the doors for her. You had no idea she was coming today, she told you she would come tomorrow, and Barbara made sure that you would be home. That was the elaborate part of the plan, because she had to make excuses for you to not go anywhere while not coming by herself, and actually get you to listen to her.

“I'm good,” she took a deep breath. “Thanks again, I’ll take it from here,” Jenna turned to your doors and cleared her throat, and Barbara just patted her on the back.

“Twelve hours, remember what I told you,” Jenna blushed a dark shade of red at that, her imagination may have been going wild since the two of you reconciled over the phone. And sure it wasn't the complete reconciliation, there were some things that still needed to be talked about and she couldn't be sure that things would progress that fast, but she's definitely been thinking about it.

And so, with Barbara and her dad waving at her as they left, she was left alone in the hall, in front of your doors, trying to keep the blush off her face as she raised her hand and knocked.

Taglist: @lilbitdepressed27 @freakshow2501 @osnapitzmel1 @belatrixdragon @ijustlovemaths

@niqmandu @justspance @mirage018 @godamnityess

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A/N: And we're done with the angst, they do need to talk face to face, but the worst is absolutely behind us! Thanks to everyone who pushed through and stuck around!

#jenna ortega x reader #x reader #x female reader #jenna ortega x female reader

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