#i'm just saying this bc i'm pissed asf

[astraeajackson]

GUYS THIS ENTRY TWO OF MY RANT SERIES ☆rei's rantdays☆... ENJOY THE BS

tell me why me and these two girls in my class (we're gonna call them asparagus and nori) are talking about the future and they're going "oh, i wanna have kids! i wanna get married!" and when I SAY:

"i don't wanna have kids. they're painful to get out, they cost a lot of money, and why would i spend my life looking after someone else?" AND "i wanna date, but i don't wanna get married. marriage sounds too restrictive for me."

YEAH when I SAY that asparagus and nori go: "ew, but you're gonna be lonely and sad. you'll be like those old ladies with only cats for company. sucks to be you."

LIKE GIRL. I DON'T GET IT. FIRST OF ALL, KEEP YOUR NASTY OPINIONS TO YOURSELF. SECOND OF ALL, WHY THE HELL WOULD I BE SAD? YOU WILL BE STRESSED AS FUCK RAISING YOUR LIL KIDS. YOUR HUSBAND'S GONNA STRESS YOU OUT. BEING A MOM AND A WIFE IS GONNA STRESS YOU OUT.

AND I DID SAY I WOULD LOVE TO DATE PEOPLE. JUST NOT GET MARRIED. AND I HAVE FRIENDS, FOR GOODNESS SAKE. WHAT DO YOU THINK, I'M GONNA SIT AROUND IN MY LITTLE FLAT ALL MY LIFE WITH FOURTEEN CATS???

and getting married means tying your identity to someone else, especially if you're a woman. when people see me with my potential husband they're gonna go "hi, mrs. _____!" my husband's name is gonna go first in all the legal stuff we do together and shit. IF I DON'T WANT THAT MY LIFE IS NOT YOURS TO CRITICISE. SEE YOU IN 30 YEARS WITH YOUR UTERUS STRETCHED AND YOUR JERK HUSBAND, ASPARAGUS

[swarvey]

elliott rant time!!

(pls feel free to ignore this i just need a space to put my thoughts)

first and foremost, since i've been getting a lot of sdv tiktoks, i have to say that i will never ever in a hundred thousand years understand the elliott hate!!!! like cmon guys this dude dedicated his BOOK TO YOU!!! is that not peak romance?? i think i would literally faint idk like. i saw a tiktok where someone said he would cheat on the farmer and i just. from a writer's standpoint that is just not accurate!!! this man is a simp for the farmer through and through.

i personally think elliott's one of the most mature bachelors, like him and harvey in my head are the most emotionally mature. i think i brought this up in a previous ask but elliott just gives vibes of "i moved here to start over and escape the messy shit that happened in my past." you're telling me he only moved to the valley for writing inspo?? ain't no way, this guy went through some shit romantically and now he can't stand being in the city for long periods of time bc it reminds him of them.

and his marriage dialogue?? he's a WRITER, everyone, he's romantic asf!!! literally rants about your beauty. cmon. he's the blueprint. elliott saw the standards and decided to exceed them.

i'm definitely more defensive of him bc i've been married to him for like four in-game years and the only part of being with him that i got pissed about was him changing our damn flooring to sand. that was kinda fucked ngl but flooring can be changed!!!!

also i hc his voice to be howl (christian bale) from howl's moving castle. that's all.

[sanaexus]

social's as yukimiya's girlfriend

-liked by megubachi, otoya.eita and 123.56k others

yourusername: i can't see i'm bliind BLIIIIND BLIIIIND (pun intended)

tagged: yukimiya.kenyu

oliver.aiku: THE CAPTION HELP FOUL ASF 😭😭 ↳yourusername: BITCH YOU NOW I'M SEXY ↳megubachi: UH DON'T CALL JUST TEXT ME ↳chigi.who: BITCHES SLOW CAN GET ON MY SPEED ↳kuniisuke: THEY STARE AT ME CAUSE THEY KNOW I'M THE ↳rin.itoshi: I-T-G-I-R-L ↳karasu_tabito: ok what the fuck is up with this edgelord ain't no fucking way he typed that ↳yourusername: you're right he didn't i did he went to let out expired water from his wonka ↳reo.miikage: what 💀 ↳hiyori: piss she meant piss

↳yourusername: SAME THING ↳nikkoki: are we going to ignore the original comment? ↳nikkoki: ok yeah ignore me too

yukimiya.kenyu: okay now who the fuck edited that 2nd image better sleep with one eye open ↳oliver.aiku: it won't matter if you sleep with both of your eyes open because you're blind anyways ↳yourusername: HEY DONR BULLY MY BF 🤬🤬🗣🗣🐺🐺ONLY I CAN BULLY MY POOKIE WOOKIE DOOKIE CUTE PATOOTIE APPLE HONEY SUGAR MELON PLUM PIE 10PC CHICKEN MCNUGGETS ↳yukimiya.kenyu: sigh why do i like you ↳yourusername: YOU DONR LOVE ME 🙁🙁☹☹ ↳megubachi: YOU MADE HER SAD NOW WOWOWOW ↳yukimiya.kenyu: no i'm sorry i'll let you paint my nails ↳yourusername: YIPPEE TY BACHIRA ILY 😘😘 ↳megubachi: ILYT POOKS 😘😘

isaichii: hear me out MAYBE just MAyBE giving me picture credits for the first one would be nice. a fucking dog nearly pissed on my show bc of y'all ↳yourusername: AND?? I NEARLY DIED BC THAT HOE IS A BLIND BITCH AND WALKED STRAIGHT INTO A BUS ↳yukimiya.kenyu: BRo?? DONR BLAME IT ALL ON ME ↳yourusername: I DIDN'T EVEN TAKE YOUR NAME WHY ARE YOU THINKING IM TALKING AB U ↳yukimiya.kenyu: BC OF THE FACT YOU CALLED ME A HOE AND A BLIND BITCH AND I WAS THE ONE WHO WALKED STRAIGHT INTO A BUS AND WAS THE ONLY OTHER PERSON IN THE PICTURE UNLESS YOU HAVE A SIDECHICK ↳itoshi_sae: so you admit you're a hoe who's a blind bitch? 💀 ↳yukimya.kenyu: what

user1: jokes aside they're so cute (i fucking hate couples) ↳yourusername: ty pooks (ikr same couples are so cringe imagine not being single) ↳yukimiya.kenyu: w h a t . ↳yukimiya.kenyu: WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR LIKE A YEAR?? ↳yourusername: what idk who u are :x ↳nagi.seishiro: srop txting like me :x ↳yourusername: fuck off

-liked by reo.miikage, julian.loki and 122.8k others

yukimiya.kenyu: my fav side chick xoxo

tagged: yourusername

megubachi: NO WAY BRO REALLY SAID THAT ↳yourusername: mom told me honesty is the best policy 🤷‍♀️ (also you're right he didn't it write the caption i did i stole his phone) ↳chigi.who: yes girl gaslight gatekeep girlboss ↳yukimiya.kenyu: AND WHY ARE YOU GUYS ENCOURAGING HER?? ↳yourusername: bc has balls = no opinion /j ↳yukimiya.kenyu: i see how it is ↳shiidoryu: BALLS MENTIONED RAHHHH 🤬🤬🐺🐺🗣🗣‼‼💯💯😎😎🔫🔫💣💣🔥🔥🔛🔝 ↳hiyori: who let this creature out

user2: my roman empire is how their faces fit together ↳julian.loki: that looks so fucking weird when you write it but ok ↳yourusername: SROP BEING A HATER JS BC U DON'T PULL ↳julian.loki: I DO PULL TFYM 🤬🤬🐺🐺I'M THE ALPHAEST ALPHA ↳yoursername: NO YOU DON'T YOU'RE ALMOST ALWAYS SURROUNED BY SHIRTLESS SWEATY BALL LOVING MEN WHO HAVE "MONSTERS" IN THEM ↳hiyori: soccer players just say soccer players please ↳mikka.kaiser: FOOTBaLL PLAYERS* ↳yukimiya.kenyu: ignoring these dried pieces of celery tysm me n her are meant to be ↳yoursername: OMGOMGOMG THE KUYIMIYA YENYU WANTS ME 😍😍🙀🙀 ↳shoei.barou: kukyimiya yenyu 💀 ↳yourusername: SHUR UP 🙁🙁

yukimiya.kenyu: i'll ignore the caption AND YOU STEALING MY PHONE for now but aside from that have i told you look very pretty ↳yourusername: but you can't even see? 🧍‍♀️ ↳shiidoryu: Y/N TAKE THE FUCKING COMPLIMENT WHEN SUCH A GORGEOUS MAN COMPLIMENTS YOU, YOU ACCEPT IT ↳shiidoryu: also real you can't even see ↳yukimiy.kenyu: i will actually feed you both toilet water ↳yourusername: you're gonna feed me? 🥺 ↳shiidoryu: you're gonna feed us? 🥺 ↳yourusername: FUCK OFF HE'S MY BF?? ↳shiidoryu: tell sae to unblock me and i'll leave him alone ↳itoshi_sae: don't even think about dming me ab this

-liked by nikkoki, alexis.ness and 134.2k others

yourusername: right now, right now baby, i don't care about the other summer (kenyu is the rat, rat is kenyu)

tagged: yukimiya.kenyu

yukimiya.kenyu: first of all i am not your crush i'm your bf?? second of all I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A RAT ↳kuniisuke: seems like something a rat face would say ↳megubachi: no bc y/n said it so it's canon ↳yourusername: still my real one fr ↳megubachi: twins ↳isaichii: bsdhira hiw ciulf yoi do tijs to me ↳rin.itoshi: some please translate that AGAIN ↳yourusername: "bachira how could you do this to me" ↳megubachi: sorry shnookums ↳isaichii: sorry guys kaiser got out of his cage (again) and started chasing me like a duck (again) ↳mikka.kaiser: you still haven't come to papa ↳reo.miikage: again what the fuck?

user2: the moment my f1 addicted brain saw the second picture it instantly said "i have never looked so good" ↳hiyori: LECLERC 🔛🔝 ↳yoursername: NAHH VERSTAPPEN ALL THE WAY🔛🔝 ↳yukimiya.kenyu: said it before and i'll say it again HAMILTON DOMINATION 🔛🔝 ↳julian.loki: hear me the fuck out. logan sargeant 🔥🔥🐺🐺 ↳shiidoryu: RAHHHH WHATS A KILOMETER 🔫🔫💣💣💯💯‼‼😎😎🐺🐺🔛🔝 ↳rin.itoshi: please seek help

mikka.kaiser: NEW JEANS MENTIONED RAHHHHHHH ↳mikka.kaiser: and we can go high 말해봐 yeah 느껴봐 mm-mm ↳alexis.ness: take him to the sky you know, i hype you, boy ↳mikka.kaiser: i raised you well, good boy ↳itoshi_sae: please be kinky, disgusting and possibly gay somewhere else ↳mikka.kaiser: we're not gay ↳alexis.ness: we're not?

yukimiya.kenyu: i see a drop dead gorgeous person right there ↳yourusername: awww ily 🥺🥺 ↳yukimiya.kenyu: oh look you're there too ↳oliver.aiku: LMFAO

nikkoki: jokes aside the first picture is so cute ↳yourusername: thank you 👉👈😝

aryu.jubei: did he try yanking your hair (send hair care routine pls) ↳yourusername: no he didn't SUPRISNGLY (ofc pooks) ↳kuniisuke: dammit ↳yourusername: WHY DO YOU WANT ME HURT SO BAD 🙁🙁 ↳rin.itoshi: surpisngly* ↳shiidoryu: YOU GOT IR WRONG TOO LMFAO

HI CHAT!!111!11 I KNOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO POST THIS LIKE A CENTURY AGO BUT ITS FINE (i had school and i came home at like 5 and i had volleyball and track practice and i had to study bc i have exams every week pls save me also i had parent teacher conference and i didn't get cooked) HAPPY SATURDAY GAYS!🐺🐺

also if you took offense to any jokes i'm sorry i really don't mean any of it. i made references to some previous posts bc why not and i love f1 jokes so 😝😝

[robin374]

Sniper with a s/o that is really into fashion n skincare, like a ken/barbie , but likes sniper bc he a racoon in the garage that they adore

Sniper with a S/O who's into skincare and fashion

Notes: omg you right, he's a garage racoon. Now you've given me another nickame for him thank you.

>>Absolutely loves to watch you do your skincare. He's always behind you admiring your face and how you apply your products. However, in terms of fashion he will wait for you to be comfortable enough to change clothes around him, because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable.

>>He still doesn't know how he managed to be in a relationship with you. I mean, have you seen yourself? You're pretty asf, cool, a greek sculpture, an art masterpiece made carefully by an old artist, an angel, a beautiful entity that made an adveturer fall head over heels for them. Thet's you, the love of his life. The one and only.

>>And he's... there... Throwing piss at people.

>>Also, he just asks random questions that can be a bit morally questionable.

"Is there any skincare face mask made out of piss?" "Sniper, you should really stop with that piss obsession you have, it's starting to worry me." "...Piss off."

>>After building up some courage, he will start to put his arms around your waist while your in front of the mirror doing your skincare routine. He will kiss your neck because he doesn't want to bother you or stop you.

>> He will try to help you with your outfits. Key word: try. He only dresses for his work, he doesn't know more of fashion. Or he will say what everyone wants him to expect. "You're better with your clothes off..." I'm looking at you reader, you made me write this. Are you happy? (I hope so)

[agendabymooner]

i think he knows ! lando n. x ofc (alessandro sister!writer!ofc)

"he got the boyish look that i like in a man."

summary: nicola alessandro released a novel under the pen name 'grazie nichols' and everyone made sure that the fans are supporting her. lando norris could do anything but be subtle about the things he knew, and the novel's inspo was one of those things.

content warning: possible use of explicit language, appearance of other fictional characters (hearth sisters, lester ricciardo, etc), dirty jokes (no smut), ofc and lando being menaces, ofc being obsessed with lando, fans trying to come up with theories, ofc's account is private (colabebe)

note: (time check: 12:25 am) i'm sorry i dipped out 😭 a lot happened yesterday: i hung out with the guy (it was awkward lol) went to see the barbie movie with my sister then had a sangria after- i was planning to post something when i got home but apparently i'm a lightweight and was knocked out after. let me know what you think!!! anyway enjoy xx

ps. yes the graphics in here are stuff that i made hehe sorry if they're awful but these are just some last minute shit i made xx

masterlist

tagged grazienichols

liked by landonorris, alex_albon, arthurleclerc

user1 new booktok rec??

user2 the grid is literally hyping this up 😭 is it that good

user3 MORE FORMULA ONE BOOKS!!!

user4 my wallet: empty

user5 me rn: trying to determine which driver relates to the man in the book the most 🧐

user6 bets on leclerc

user7 hmmm i think its more like estie? he's giving muse

user8 it could be yuki ???

user9 i agree user6 it's most likely shal bc that man is book bf material

liked by landonorris, pierregasly, danielricciardo

danielricciardo i don't blame them; this book is a bomb ass book 😉 liked by grazienichols

grazienichols 🤪

user1 grazie stop emptying my wallet challenge 🤐

grazienichols 😶 sorry xx

user2 making money just to get to monaco gp- gurl i don't blame you 😭

grazienichols it's getting more expensive as years go on 🥶

f1 monaco gp you say??? 👀

user3 she's making money already just toss the ticket in us broke people's direction 🙃

user4 yeah what she said ^^

tagged charles_leclerc, loricciardo, estebanocon and 7 other people

liked by colabebe, danielricciardo, arthurleclerc

user1 isn't lester pregnant??? why is she bent like that on the 7th photo? 😭

user2 lester can do things us mere humans can't

alex_albon i am appalled liked by lando.jpg

lando.jpg i can't put too much photos sorry lad

alex_albon i'll remember this.

user3 lando fed us with the hearth sisters content at the slides 2, 4 and 6 and i've never felt this loved since my ex <3

user4 gurl 💀 u good

user5 ESTIE BESTIEEEE 😩 i might bust a lil gimme a sec to chill

user6 the sisters in blue 🤤

user7 who's the third photo?

user8 lester's youngest sister, nicola

danielricciardo loricciardo 🤨 what're u doing?

loricciardo protecting baby ric 😳 liked by lando.jpg

lando.jpg by flattening his head? 😟

loricciardo you just reduced my standing time and increased my bedrest time lando.jpg thx

lando.jpg what 😭 what's gonna happen if you're in bedrest? is the baby's head going to inflate back to place??

danielricciardo landonorris lad. that's not how it works.

arthurleclerc colabebe that pink is nice asf

colabebe thank you art!!! nice seeing you!!!

user9 uhhhhh?!!! arthur and daniel's in-law?

georgerussell63 why am i not there??? 🧐

lando.jpg my bad- i didn't really want you to take of your shirt in the middle of the ballroom hall. not really your night tonight mate.

user10 where is toto?!!!

lando.jpg god love him but he already has enough photo taken by his own wife. give others some chance to make it to my jpg account

user10 understood king 🤌

sylvieeford no max?? he really pissed you off 😹 liked by lando.jpg

lando.jpg yeah, and keep on reminding him that. maybe he'd apologize for once 🙄

landonorris posted a story !!!

tagged landonorris

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo, nora_alessandro

danielricciardo my favourite italian-british couple (no offense nora but i don't like georgerussell63 that much) liked by colabebe

nora_alessandro 😒😒

georgerussell63 you're not my favourite aussie either mate 😉

landonorris god gave me an equally obsessed gf and i love him for it liked by colabebe

colabebe just him??? 💔

landonorris me when you: 💗😩😳🤤

colabebe ���️‍🩹

landonorris look at her

landonorris shes so pretty omg whats her @

oscarpiastri your simp looking ass is getting more obvious

colabebe 🤨 not my fault u don't get bitches 🤡

oscarpiastri do you wanna fight or wha 🤬

colabebe i deadlegged you last time and you ate shit so idk if thats even a question

oscarpiastri landonorris ur rat is at it again

landonorris hey man, that's my simp. leave her alone

mateoales throwing up

landonorris ratio + take L + didn't ask

colabebe cry + whine + sob + complain

mateoales you two are so mean when ur together

[beemers-hell]

Like you did with Doc, can we get your Tricky headcanons please (smiley emoji)

Same format as last time then!

Tricky HCs!

Around ~60-65ish

AMAB gender whatever, doesn't really give a fuck to label himself anything specific Period, he uses "clown" to refer to himself in both the first and third person anyway

Around ~6'07"ish

Mexican (I'm not projecting)

The only thing Hofnarr had going on with him in life was being autistic asf which led him to being very skittish and socially withdrawn but academically superior, and being autistic still applies to Tricky, though he doesn't face the same challenges nor have the same academic desires he did when he was alive bc of him lowkey being a reality bending God atp lmao. He can do whatever he wants now so if something clashes with the autism negatively then he can instantly get rid of it (I'm not projecting)

Aside from that, the only afflictions he's got going on are what you'd expect of a fuckin 60 year old rotting zombie lol

He is still the genius he was when he was Hofnarr! And he's not trying to hide it or anything like that! His interests have just shifted from the academic world to frivolous things that bring him instantaneous satisfaction, like DJing and Partying and Killing People, obvs lol. This isn't to say he doesn't still get enjoyment out of flexing his brain and putting his smarts to use, he just acts much more on impulse and short term dopamine rushes, as opposed to how Hofnarr acted mainly on careful methodical planning and long term dopamine cycles.

He had a thing going on with Jeb when he was still Hofnarr, though neither of them really "pursued" it in a very Definitive or Official capacity. It was very much a "What are we?" kind of situation ykwim. He did of course care very deeply for Christoff but Jeb was too emotionally closed off to truly let him in like that, so it was mainly relegated to chance intimate moments and the occasional heat of the moment "incidents" lol, but they missed out on something real. Tricky, even now, knows there's a part of him that still feels that way for Jeb but he knows damn well that they're not gonna have what they could've all that time ago, so he's more content to just playfully tease him and dick around and get on his nerves than pursue something more, Jeb can't keep up with Tricky's insanity the same way others could. This esp applies in dad au, where Jeb is essentially Boxxy's second dad since he helped raise her, but he's not "with" Tricky like that.

Despite what you'd expect of a homicidal freak like Tricky is, he's incredibly social and down to hang and do whatever cause he's always in search of a good time! Except if he's pissed off about something with Hank or the AAHW but I digress. Dude fuckin loves clubbing and headlining sets for them, he loves breaking it down on the dancefloor, of course half the time he parties it ends in him fuckin massacring the joint he's chilling at but tbh, maybe you just need to get used to the "killin" part of "chillin n killin"

The visual of the static and words that pops up around him in the series obvs is just a cool visual thing with him but I like to think that he can just like…do that shit lol. Like if he so feels inclined, he'll project screams and static into the minds of people, which effects them in such a way where their brain functions are numbed to hell and they practically cease being able to make decisions, form thoughts, or even use brain power to move their bodies n shit, and they're just subjected to internal screaming in addition to whatever the fuck Tricky feels like doing to them.

Whenever he scuffles with Hank, he Especially tries to not use any cheap tricks to get a leg up over him, bc Hank is one of the few people who can actually give him a challenge in a fight and that makes things WAAAAAAY more exciting and fun, so doing some underhanded shit he could easily pull bc of his reality bending powers just makes shit less fun, and he values fun over anything else. Unless Hank actually manages to piss him the fuck off during a fight, in which cause He won't give a fuck anymore, and he'll go full fuck it we ball mode n try whatever to kill his ass, like going flame demon mode n chasing him n shit like that

When he talks he audibly uses tone indicators out loud, like verbally saying "slash J" or "slash Joke" out loud when he speaks. he doesn't do it to be courteous or whatever he just thinks its sounds funny as hell

[bnhxx]

Coming out of my shell to say that I'm petitioning to be Leon's annoying little sister

Some platonic sibling hcs under the cut!!

Warnings: Platonic! Au, a little bit of sibling violence and A LOT of sibling banter, mentions of ptsd, drinking and alcoholism and events in RE2 and RE4

It's always I want him to rail me! I want his babies! And I can respect that I can I can but...have you ever considered being his annoying little baby sibling that adopts him as your new family member 😇

Like yeah nah bro I wanna annoy him and tease him for having no rizz AT ALL and just all around annoy tf outta him 😤

Like he's an orphan but not AnYmOrE, scooping this traumatised boy up and making him WISH he never met you but also is weirdly protective you who "adopted" him as their "sibling", and now won't stop saying "point and laugh!" out loud everytime he does smth stupid in the middle of the office when hes back from a mission.

Like, please he just needs an annoying little sibling in his life, I know I can't fix him but by God can I be the annoying little sister he so desperately needs in his life

Like....I KNOW his heels have never known the wrath of MY FEET clipping his shoes up when he's walking too slow but he NEEDS to 😭😭😭 I need to post this and find my PEOPLE

Also I feel like being a sibling vibe you'd have tagged along as a civilian in RE2, also not knowing what the fuck was going on but hey, you're in this fucked up shit together now ig. 🤷‍♀️ And you have some family/friends out of state so after the event you take him to chill at a beach or smth w your family/friends bc you're both well deserving of a fucking break while this ptsd hits the both of you

n everyone talks about how fucking awkward he was w Sherry in game but ayo hes REALLY feeling it now...

Like you're joking when you're like "it's like you've never been to one of these Leon 🤨"

N he just looks at you like "Yeah I haven't 😐"

AND YOU KAHSJEVDHEKEHEJE

"You're like 😶....bro....you have now been absorbed.....as my older brother"

And he's like 🧐🧐🧐 at first bc what??? How do I interact w these ppl??? Why me???? but ofc they love him, he's RE2 Leon and although he's super fucking traumatised and still awkward asf he just wants to make a good impression on his friends' close ones

Also he's like sitting there like damn,,,,,I wish I had that 😔

So you're like wELP noW yoU dO 🤪

And of course they're super grateful to him bc he saved you so they treat him nicely but he kinda gets that a lot so he's just like 🧍

So after you tell them hes now your older brother you've deemed it so 🤗 they just start to treat him like that and he just, doesn't know what to do??? Do I salute them, (y/n)???

Do it make him salute them for at least three weeks until you tell him absolutely no one does that and he was stupid for ever believing you 😈

Tbh I feel like this would work for the first couple of times until he mentions it at work in passing n everyone's like 🤨,,,,so then the next time he sees you he just has that pissed off older sibling face and he's coming for you so you better have ran like you did in Raccoon City kahsjehs 🏃‍♀️💨

But yeah after a while you guys stay in touch, he's training and drowning his pain with alcohol and you're trying to get him into more healthier ways of dealing w his pain as well as laughing at him kshsjdhsjs

your just sort of there to support him even when he's pushing you away bc no idiot I will not leave you alone when you're training I will watch and I will LAUGH when you fall. But I will also cheer you on when you win and give you my favourite hello kitty bandaid if you ever get hurt 🥰

And he's super grateful?? Bc your like this stable sort of annoying person who's there for him no matter what.

Like he knows he can come to yours to crash if he's had one too many drinks to holds his hair when he's puking his guts out hungover.

Yes you are there in the morning to laugh and yell at him for being stupid but he also saw the glass of water you left on the couch next to the ibuprofen and chuck bucket for him. And the little blankets and they you always seem to have waiting on him when he arrives

Yes you will be there to do it all over again if he comes walking to your place after he's drunk again.

And Yes, you will also be there to show him all the dumb photos you took of him drunk on your Kodak once they get developed and cackle in his face 😈

He like actually learns to take a load off with you and relax a little bc you have a bond and you weren't just saying that when you took his ass on holiday, you really meant you'd be there for him and it means a lot to him bc he's never really had that stability in his life before 😔

Also bc the trauma bonding you just get him ✨️ like you can both relate to the horrors you saw and what you unknowingly found out about Umbrella.

Like maybe you work w him in the field or just as an archivist or smth but you're helping him w this cause too, dealing w the same or similar shit he's been dragged into so ofc you guys form a bond w each other.

And so by the time RE4 rolls around imagine you're like talking him through his mission on the radio n he's soo serious around Ashley and Luis so you can't help it you burst out laughing bc he's so stiff, and he's like THIS is a LIFE and DEATH siTuAtiOn now do your fUcKiNg jOb SeNd me tHe coOrDiNatEs

And you're like okay okay grumpy pants 😈 I'll give you the coordinates but you have to say pwetty pwease w a cherry on top for me 🥰

If it were anyone else he'd turn the radio off and find it himself but bc he does care for you, and you're like the only stable platonic thing he's had in ages he's like cursing and swearing until he FINALLY caves in and does it

So you give him the coordinates and just as he's about to go back to almost dying your like "I got that recorded fyi" and he's just 😤😤😤 at Luis for no real reason other than his 'little shit of an adopted sibling' kwhsjshdhd

But also imagine randomly calling him constantly bc you're really worried for him bc this time your not there with him and it scares you

And he's like, I'm not dying here bc who else is gonna put up w your shithead behaviour??? n you're just like, 'aww Leon!! 🥺🥺'

So hes like 'yeah so stfu and let me do my mission 😤' but you swear you can hear the smile in his voice through the radio

OR if you're there, with him it's even MORE chaos kshdjdhdjdn

Like imagine Luis flirting w you n him being all protective older brother on you, n you're just like 🙄 siblings amirite, btw Leon that's a prime example of how to properly rizz someone up you loser 😇 n your not running from ganados this time your running from him (again) 🏃‍♀️💨

If you engage in sibling violence he's like, you haven't hit me once this whole mission n you're like, I'm giving you a vacation since we're running for our godamned lives out here n hes thinking like 🥺 my shins have never know rest like this before since I met you 🥺

but he just gives you a little smirk 'heh' or some one liner and that's it he did it to himself his shins indeed do NOT know rest 💀

Being teased by him more and more as he matures but dw, you're always there to annoy him back 😇 and run tf away when he gives that older sibling look like he's about to wreck your shit for ever thinking of crossing him lajsjsjsbs

[atlasisreal]

YOU WERE AT *WHAT*????????????????????

yes it's true. the atlasisreal deep lore is that I attended dashcon in 2014.

that me 💕

anyways if you wanna hear my recollection of dashcon it's under the cut.

i was literally just a teenager at the time but seeing dashcon ads on Tumblr I was like. it's in Schaumburg??? like 30min from me??? I HAVE to go this is going to be the coolest thing ever. I love Tumblr all my mentally ill friends and supernatural gifs are on that website. I bet they're gonna have the coolest party ever.

LMAOOOOO

so i asked for the dashcon tix for my birthday! it was for me and my best friend (who attended and even cosplayed Homestuck with me despite not knowing anything about it) and my mom, who was mostly excited about staying in the nice hotel and swimming in the pool. I was so hype for this. anyways we get there and as people have previously talked about vis a vis dashcon, it was so hilariously underwhelming. the first thing you had to do was walk into the registration hall. I think most people have seen pics but they had written "Welcome DashCon" or something to that effect on the ground using blue painters tape, and the hall was empty asf which was really funny because they had set the table up aaaaaall the way at the back so you just got to walk across this big empty hall towards ONE PERSON sitting at a table (who in retrospect I'm pretty sure was the 19 year old they'd foisted this thing onto). she was super nice at the time though so shout out to that interaction.

we pretty much immediately headed for the only actual show floor area, which was the artists alley. if dashcon attendees are hard to find, I'm sure dashcon exhibitors are fucking unicorns bc there was... maybe 30 booths, if I'm being very generous. that being said, I got to meet nd Stevenson at dashcon! he was really nice, and complimented my cosplay. it's kind of fun to get to say I met the artist and author behind nimona and lumberjanes and she-ra at fucking DASHCON lol. hopefully next time I meet him it will be as a fellow professional comics artist huh who said that

gotta take a moment here to stress something. dashcon was very poorly planned and executed. this is true. BUT. the atmosphere, especially on the first day, was so joyful and connected. everyone was so stoked to be at THE Tumblr convention. all of us were weirdos who liked the weirdo website enough to show up in person for all our weirdo friends. We were all exchanging urls and taking big group photos and going to grab lunch together. people were very open and friendly. and I know that's my perspective as well, obviously there were plenty of things going horribly wrong behind the scenes, but having only been an attendee, it really wasn't the worst experience.

anyways so the day was fun and weird and a little boring because dashcon had fucking nothing going on but anyways so the scamming part. they called everyone into this main ballroom and stood on a little stage up front and were like "HEY IF WE DONT RAISE $200,000 THEYRE SHUTTING US DOWN" which definitely did NOT break my tiny little idiot baby heart. I definitely was super self aware and knew this was a dumb scam and I definitely DIDN'T cry and run to the hotel pool to tell my mom. she however immediately went "they're scammers and we paid for our hotel room so whatever lol". my bestie gave them $10 and after the fact was (rightfully) SUPER pissed about it because she WAS smarter than me and figured out the scam thing faster.

I think besides that scam thing the other thing I remember thinking was such fucking bullshit was that we would be walking past the ballroom where Welcome to Night Vale was supposed to perform and the line was insane. It was literally SOOOOO many people. I remember being a little bummed that I hadn't gotten tickets which was.... obviously a short lived regret. when they announced the night Vale cancellation I definitely realized shit was hinky.

a majority of the photos I have are from ballpitstuck! there was a Homestuck meetup at the ball pit, but a lot of us had found each other already and had been hanging out in little feral packs of homestucks, so we all meshed super well and basically immediately all became besties. we ended up kind of collectively agreeing to post stuff in the "ballpitstuck" tag, which is hilarious. I actually made fanart at the time! It's somewhere in the depths of my art blog. I've probably posted most of these before but for posterity:

we were cringe. but we were free. no but for real I did have so much fun hanging with the homestucks.

anyways the rest of the con was pretty much just hanging out and watching everything burn from the inside out. my favorite part was watching Tumblr react to dashcon in real-time, because everyone AT the convention was posting about it, and everyone who wasn't at the convention was actively following the updates. by the time we left I just remember being like "I think we've just experienced something very interesting". and now there's a Wikipedia page and a sarah z video about it so.

anyways shout out to my dashcon homies(tucks)

[cannibalismyuri]

People aren’t obligated to reblog your fanfics if they don’t enjoy the writing. You don’t get as much attention because you’re not as known. You haven’t been publishing as long as the “big authors” you pretend to love but then bash them immediately afterwards. It sucks, but you can’t buy people’s affection. You pretend to be more humble than everyone else but then get pissed so easily because you don’t have bragging rights.

i never said everyone has to enjoy my writing. also the Thing is; these big authors have been publishing for longer yeah !! and their writing is absolutely marvelous and i genuinely adore them. but. they also are popular bc they're seen as Better than other creators and put on a pedestal. which is both uncomfortable for them and Highly discouraging for others. and this is due to a cliquey mindset. it Is. as much as u like to pretend it isn't, it rlly rlly is. people can be just friends. there is nothing wrong with supporting ur friends' work more or being more invested in ur friends' work. the problem lies in the fact that many people just disregard other rlly talented creators in favor of the already popular ones (who are popular for a reason. their art / fics / wtv Are really good and i read their stuff too! not trying to put them down here, just trying to lift other people up) which makes for a fandom that is going to die out. and dont u fucking dare bring my fics and my engagement and me into this. maybe i was petty abt that before and i acknowledge that. but i haven't made a single post abt how my fics are getting less engagement in Months. the post i did make and the one ur probably so butthurt abt wasn't even initially abt cliques. it was just saying that we need to rb more and be more vocal of our support of creators in the tags or - wherever. NOT underrated / underappreciated / smaller / less popular creators. i was Very general abt it. creators. period. the talk of cliques came into play when i peer reviewed someone's tags on that post. bc they were extremely real and the problem of less vocal support affects "popular" creators too! ive been noticing that they're also getting less engagement. but mostly the people affected by it are creators in the fandom with no prior popularity. and it is an actual issue. also when the actual fuck have i ever bought someone's affection?? im too broke for that, my dude, i struggle to pay rent most months. and i've Not acted humble or holier than thou. the reason i have so many moots and friends is bc im a genuinely nice person who wants to support and uplift EVERYONE in this fandom. i do have personal beef with people, but im civil to Everyone. thats the reason i have friends. unlike you, i dont send anon hate bc im butthurt over one (1) post <3 hope that fucking helps <3 also the post wasnt even abt ME. bc i genuinely dont give a fuck abt people seeing and liking my writing anymore bc i have Grown Past That and just... adopted a give no fucks mindset. the post was abt the fandom slacking and not appreciating creators (PERIOD.) enough. it was never abt me. also bragging rights? babe nobody's bragging abt how they get more interaction. that's rude asf and entirely out of the question. and those popular writers ur talking abt who Could brag if they wanted to DON'T. bc they aren't despicable human beings who love to put others down. i'm Friends, or at the very least, friendly moots w the writers ur talking abt. and im not trying to put them down. im trying to lift other people up, which is smth u just Don't understand apparently. i even contributed in a whole ass event to shine light on talented, less popular writers in the fandom. bylerficrecweek? u might ive heard of it. it helped, or i like to Think it did, with helping people branch out, but the problem wasn't completely solved. people who are equally as talented as the already popular creators have talked abt their experience with engagement in the exact same post that ur so pissed abt. im going to put tags from various people under the cut so that u can see exactly how much people are affected by the prominent clique problem in the byler fandom. hope u have a good day and u wanna kiss me so bad it makes u look stupid 😚

THIS is the post im talking abt in question, the og post along with denise @bylertruther 's tags. i'm going to be putting screenshots of people's tags on this post with due credit. (to any of the people featured here : if u want me to remove ur tags feel free to say so!)

via @holyvirgilscriptures

via @runninguplenorahills

via @unwisewizard

via @apatheticlexicographer

via @fireflywitch

via @hawkwidows

via @sandinmybed

via @katimanki2

ANDDDDD thats it! hope u fucking realized that i was speaking generally and also Many people face this problem. kiss my ass 💋

[akaakeis]

pre relationship 1 2 3 then

What is their height difference? Age difference? Do either matter to them?

Who felt romantic feelings first?

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

Who gets jealous easier?

What are their primary love languages?

:3

lina!! thank u for sending in questions ashsjskffk <3 im so new to this i think i fumbled while i was sending someone ask numbers bc i forgot to specify what column i was referring to erm. (EMBARRASSING ASF FOR ME)

pre relationship 1, 2 + 3

we first met when i went to his school to play against the girls' volleyball team!! he was playing first while my team warmed up for our game, and he really caught my eye because he was so good defensively!! at first it was more just me being jealous but then OH MY after the game i went up to him and just bluntly told him i thought it was cool how good he was at defending and we really hit it off <3

oh oops i kinda answered some of this in the last question BUT at first i just thought he was really cool and i admired how good he was with passing and serve receive!! from the very beginning he found me cute for just going up to him to tell him i thought he was cool LMAO and he was interested in me (not necessarily romantically at first, just in general)!!

honestly it was probably him. the more we talked the more he thought that i was cute 😭 at first, he didnt realize that he was feeling that romantically so he didn't act on it. i ended up being the one confessing because he was in denial about having romantic feelings for me!!

What is their height difference? Age difference? Do either matter to them?

we are neaaaaaarly the same height but hes like... an inch taller 😞 we are about 5 months apart!! neither matter much to us though he does get pissed off (not actually but like u get it) if i jokingly say ive grown and "i think i'm taller than you now!!" he's just a liiiiittle insecure about it, but i ofc know that! i just tease him w it LMAOAOA but he knows im joking <3

Who felt romantic feelings first?

i think that was pre relationship question 3, so just look back to that!! i dont wanna be redundant w all my answers 😭

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

ooh i haven't really thought about this one before to be honest!! umm i would say the songs yam yam by no vacation , love and doubt by dacelynn , stargazing by the neighbourhood , and are you bored yet? by wallows feat clairo (dont diss on my music taste i was scrolling through my main playlist looking for songs for this and i was STRUGGLING)

Who gets jealous easier?

i honestly think he would!! because i personally have lots of male friends, and i'm close with some of them so... yeah. i feel like i don't get jealous much but when i do i feel so grossed out with myself simply for feeling jealous? idk its a whole cycle

What are their primary love languages?

i truly think that his primary love languages are acts of service and quality time!! hes super appreciative whenever i grab something for him without him asking or when i help him with a chore (or the other way around) <3 and he will take time out of his everyday just so that he will have time to bedrot and watch movies with me at the end of the day!! definitely tries to make it clear that he loves me through actions.

[skinnybinnietitties]

Part 2 to the rant

okayy so anyways eventually she makes me go in her room and strip to my undies and bra off and checks but she only sees cuts on my once safe zone and time skip blah blah blah she asking me a bunch of questions and stuff I end up saying too much about how I am essentially a people pleaser and I'm not satisfied with my life yada yada. And after that later in the day because that happened around 3-4 she tells me I have a therapy session booked for tmrw or the day after at 3 and I'm jst like 😦 how the fuck you already make and find one so fast😭 but yeah and I would say my my emotions were still in shock because I was acting like ain't shit happen and going to make cookie dough and cookie cake with my sister but the next day omg I was mad and rightfully so bc wat the fuck just happened to me (and she gave me back my phone that same night but I made sureto delete stuff so incase she did loon before she gave it back she wouldn't see anything) and I was just saying things like why did I go make those two last shitty cuts if I didn't make those this wouldn't have a happened so a few hours my nerves are still high asf and I'm pissed so I get a stick pen the kind you use for sewing or pinning something in place but not the safety one and scratcy my thighs in the bathroom because I couldn't get caught again and it didn't go deep but I just needed the pain (why does cat scratches and baby's hurt so much like) and it pretty much goes on the day with me in my room or forced to be around ppl when I wanted to choke my neck off and the therapist made it for the next day so the next day comes around and during that day I purge because I ate too much when I wasn't even supposed eat at all😒 and during that ig my mom is getting anxious or what ever because like every motherfucking 3-5 minutes she is knocking on the bathroom door talking about let me in and hurry up it don't take that long to poop😀 so I had to speed it up and wash the purging look off my face and when I come out the bathroom she brings me in her room and says let me see your legs and tell her I obviously haven't cut that would be so stupid right after you get caught but she doesn't listen and make me get in panties and bra (AGAINJDHSG) and she was like asking tm to show her my boobs to make sure it's not there and tryna look at my MOTHEBRFJSIS inner thighs like umm no please what the fuck your not looking there and when she doesn't find anything ofc I ask her straight up what is your problem because this is not it you tryna make me strip every fucking day and when she tells me how she's concerned about what I'm taking so long in the bathroom for and thought I was cutting I say I understand tm your concerns nd shit but I'm not about to be showing you all around the fuckin globe she don't get it and like omfg she ends up saying she will tone it down and when I tell her okay but your not checking my whole body she say "I'll hold you done if I have to" 😐 I don't even know what to say like ik she's my mother and shit but like I feel so violated honestly like why are you tryna see every where when I told you MULTIPLE TIMES that I only cut on my thighs in these two squares so why are you tryna see all in my inner thighs and on the side of my hips and shit like😥😀 but yeah after that I was not left alone till I almost cursed and was about to make a scene in front ofmy sister so she let's me go and later that day I have therapy and she asks me stuff and idk why but she asked me do I hear voices after we start talking about imaginary friends nd talking to my self😭😭 like no bestie I do not💀 but after that it's pretty much my mom done my back not being able to be alone or in the bathroom trying to take an actual shit for once or so my hair and how I keep running to the bathroom like no😭 and her constantly asking how I'm doing and keep touching me nd shot giving me hugs don't get me wrong I live hugs but I hate being pitied so it just feels so fucking annoying and so belittling and she keeps saying I'm going through something. So enough with that situation part 3 next ig....

[youremyheaven]

hi i am almost 20 but i never feel attracted toward a boy like have sex with him . I need a man with emotional security and who is mature tham me and understand me at an emotional level because i see so many cases of fake love and bf like as an Indian in my own class and i also don't feel comfortable in my own skin i am very skinny and look much like a child and every one point out it very much even aunties and i feel bad when my father says it hard to find a groom for me in future and i don't want to get married or comfortable between people need to mention i never get into any relationship with a boy cause whom i like they dont take me serious. I have malefic (sani)planet in my 1 house and 1 lord Mercury debilitated in 7 house . My college mates always point out i dont have prominent beauty indicators in body like b**bs and big h*ps But i want to get settled first and have my own independent finance structure i want to explore i also hate dominent men like in my family and society want to marry someone outsider a foreigner but 😮‍💨 life is not easy in Indian society

okay damn these are a lot of different things

its okay to be a virgin at any age. nobody is missing out on anything by not having sex because sex is only good with a good partner and that does not come by every day, most random sexual encounters are boring asf so dw about missing out on anything, you can wait until you're older and find the right person!!

and for your first time, make sure its with a genuine, trustworthy and nice guy!!! manifesting one for u<33

secondly, about body image

everybody feels this way about themselves. if you're skinny, you want to be thicker. if you're thick, you want to be thin. the grass is always greener on the other side etc

everybody gains weight in their early to mid 20s btw,, ive never really been thin lol but many of my thin friends have gained weight naturally over the course of years

also there are many ayurvedic remedies for weight gain and you can also go to the gym ,, and all of this is ONLY if you WANT to, there is nothing wrong with being skinny!! if you're underweight and its concerning from a health perspective, you can always consult a nutritionist about it <333

About feeling good in your own skin. Trust me, no one's going to be feeling incredible at 20, you're still young and growing. By the time you reach your mid 20s you'll feel more comfortable and confident. You're getting used to being a grown up, that takes time. And the body naturally changes over the years. It is what it is.

About the people who body shame you. Tell them to piss off. We have 8 billion people in this world, which means billions of people are having sex every day. Not everybody's going to look the same. People of all shapes and sizes deserve to enjoy themselves and feel loved and you will too!! You'll find the right person for you!!

I've always disliked being around skinny men bc I feel "too much" around them and everytime I see a skinny guy with a skinny girl I'm just like 🥺🫶🥺 ALSOOO you may not believe me but many men like skinny women and want skinny women 👀 they like being the dom 😏

Ignore the boys who aren't serious about you. You deserve someone who will give you good treatment ✨

I hope you marry whoever you want and end up finding true love 🫶✨

Love,

Heaven

[sainotavailable]

pairings — Venti, Kazuha, Wanderer, Xiao, Kaeya, and Al-Haitham x gn!Reader

summary — You checked your pantry and wow! You don't have shit besides spiders chillin' in the corner of the cabinet. It's time to shop, and your s/o wants to go with you (or in Al-Haitham's case, you drag him along). Would he behave himself and is he OK to bring to society?

tags / warnings — crack / fluff / HCs, almost all of them are insane. kazuha is HIGH ASF, wanderer is an asshole (canon), venti and kaeya have crippling alcoholism, PDA, established relationship, please stop taking these men outside.

A/N — this is my first post. i'm sorry you had to read it but i just write stupid crack hc's or weird shit. also i'm crying because tumblr deleted the first draft i was gonna post. absolutely in tears rn.

Venti “Huh, you’re going to the market? Can I come, can I come!?”

As soon as you step foot into the market, expect him to dash in front of you in search for wine. If you’re in another nation or they’re sold out of his favorite booze, he will drop to his knees and BAWL (but it sounds rly pretty cuz he’s a good bard yk like a disney princess)

you urge him to stand up because he’s being embarrassing and that just makes him roll around on the dirty ass floor because he’s a fucking drama king. legit doing it to spite you even tho you didn’t do shit. however once he recovers he’ll…

put random shit into the basket (no he doesn’t need it he just thinks maybe in the future one of u might. please take it out)

will buy plastic bendy straws so he can drink his alcohol in a silly goofy way

will find a way to eat more than 1 free sample at the food stalls (has a fake mustache for this occasion)

if he finds wine that’s rly expensive he will attempt to seduce you into purchasing it for him (dont feed into his alcoholism)

will try to go into the basket (even if its handheld)

expect him to serenade you the entire time you're shopping, too

also he will hold ur hand and just be all over u. he loves u sm <3

will complain once he gets tired (its only been 10 minutes)

overall, terrible to bring. leave him at home

Kazuha “Oh, have we run out of goods? May I accompany you?”

As you shop, you kind of forget he’s even there until he picks something up to take a closer look and makes a comment. He mostly just chills and follows you around. But…

he actually might be high

how many nakuweeds did u have before you two left? did u count???

all of a sudden he’s adding random snaccs to the basket. when did he ever eat this shit?

as you watch him stuff a dozen doughnuts into ur basket that’s when u realize he might have some crazy munchies. maybe u should ask??

actually maybe not he looks really out of it. he ated all the weeds

as you try and put away some of the shit he put in you see him staring at the local cats

he doesn't know wtf is going on

you should probably go back home now

overall, probably fine to bring with you when he’s not high as a kite

Wanderer “Where are you going? To the market? . . . I better go with you—no, not because I want to, but because you’ll get that generic store brand shit.”

He’s mad and he doesn’t wanna be there, but bc you’re such an asshole who buys generic great value tea. anyways even tho he looks really mad, he doesn’t mind being with you (what a shit) will wander (heh) away from you and look at other stuff. if u try and contain him he’ll get pissy about it and insist he’s an independent puppet-man and he’s not gonna commit tomfoolery anymore. anyways so…

he doesn’t care if ur trying to save mora, he WILL have his namebrand inazuman tea!!!

maybe he won’t… because he understands prices are very tough right now. BUT its not because you told him to, you fucking box

gets PISSED and will become a karen if the cashier doesn’t say hi to him

our boy is toxic and i will not fluff him down this is just him and u like it

will slap your hand if you try and hold his hand. like, not hard. but like, the way a cat slaps your hand when its tired of you petting it.

will hold ur hand if u try a second time but his grip is rly tight cause bro is always tense asf

overall, don’t bring him if you like the store/market you’re going to. you might get banned

Xiao “You’re going to the market? I see . . . It’s getting dark out, so I’ll come with you.”

You know he’s anxious about being around so many people, but he wants to protect you <3<3 so he’ll overcome this obstacle and follow you around like a lost puppy…

actually he’s really close

like holy shit back up xiao, he’s right against ur back

you dont bother to say anything bc yk he’ll say some shit like “YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR THE ADEPTI”

actually maybe you should grab his hand because he legit looks like a deer in headlights

will hold ur groceries for you bc he’s so strong <3

u can't hold his hand because he's holding his giant fucking polearm "just in case" and holding your bags in the other, so maybe hold his arm??

he loves that shit even if he doesnt admit it

might suddenly leave with ur groceries if he’s called or some shit, will return with torn bags but its ok he did everything he could to fix it!

by fix it i mean now he’s just holding everything and pierced it into his spear

you should just be happy he has everything. don’t comment on it

overall, 10/10. besides the anxiety, he likes being near you even if he doesnt admit it. ur groceries are safe with him just like you are <3<3

Kaeya “Groceries? Oho, well. I have some time, why don’t I go with you? You’ll need a big strong captain to carry all your bags, after all.”

Even if you didn’t want to bring him, he’s coming with you anyways. I think the best part about Kaeya is he’ll stick by your side throughout the trip to the market and follow you around wherever you go.

Honestly, out of everyone else, it feels like he might be the best one to bring with you…

plez expect him to have an arm slung over your shoulders or snaked around your waist. he loves pda!

EXCEPT! he is the KING OF CONSENT(tm) he will only do it if you say its ok! what a sigma chad wtf

i hope you like talking because kaeya fucking loves chatting while shopping. he will not be quiet for long even if you tell him to stfu

even if you’re not the chatty type and you’re pretty quiet, he’ll talk for you. about his day, what he did that morning (even if u already know), what he’s gonna do later, he will not leave a single detail out.

hey btw remember when i said he won’t leave ur side? i lied. don’t trust anyone on the internet.

he will 100% leave your side for the booze market. he is more interested in imported wine that he can get his hands on

will return to you with 6 bottles and insist they’re for you both to share. please stop feeding into his alcoholism

he will carry your bags btw. all of them. he will have both arms packed with bags and won’t complain, might just tease you a little tho.

overall, a fantastic man to bring with you to grocery shop. can protect u cuz he’s a strong cavalry captain who will hold ur belongings without complaint. just feed him booze <3<3

Al-Haitham “. . . Fine, I’ll go with you to pick up some things. I need to pick up a new book to take to work, anyway.”

The moment you enter the marketplace, you most likely will never find your partner again. At least, not until later in your shopping trip. He literally disappeared, where the fuck did he go?

Its only half way through that you find him and see him sitting on one of the benches, flipping through the new book he purchased. You call for him, but his soundproof earpieces are in effect. You snatch the book out of his hands to get his attention and bother him enough to follow you. He lets out a sigh, but gets up anyway…

u rly should’ve left him there cuz he’s so quiet. he might still have his earpieces on.

he’ll follow you around by your side and he’ll hold your bags, too. he’s got big strong arms for a fuckin reason!!

half way through he’ll start reading his book again, sorry but shopping is rly boring to him ok

al-haitham isn’t a pda person btw don’t touch him

might hold ur hand.

will hold ur hand if the cashier is too sus for his liking

maybe

if you run into kaveh while shopping he will leave. if ur holding hands he will leave with u even if u didnt pay for ur shit yet.

overall, um. he’s definitely an option. he’ll hold ur bags??? he just wants to go back home

[virginmiri99]

I dont necessarily want to answer all the asks I got bc theyre all very similar so I'll just sum up a responce:

Tommy did not commit a crime. maybe he did idk but its no grooming, sa, or murder. But even then, no creators would stop supporting him. Look at any evil minded ytbr in the past still receiving tons of support. Doesn't matter what it is

I know everyone's dying to know but I've realized I don't want to directly talk about the rumor ive heard thru the grapevine bc the info is dubious (i personally can believe it) but I have no true way of verifying it. If its not true I don't want to cause damage, but if it is true at least now if someone else breaks the story no one will be blindsided like in a few controversies past. also since I got out of the psych ward and was prescribed 3 different mood stabilizers I've stopped caring abt twitch streamers that are not squeex or ludwig. I just want to remove myself from white british men who provide nothing to the world. None of this is important not even this post. what is important? the falling leaves in a cool autumn breeze. seeing the ones you love and putting effort in for them. also squeex.

I personally feel like I can't support tommy anymore. maybe bc I have a job and a real life and theres no pandemic that leaves me bored and with infinate time. Do i think hes an evil person down to the bone? no--theres so many factors at play you cant really pin a label to it. this is just my personal feelings and I predict it would be a handful of peoples feelings on twt as well. But again I've come to the conclusion I dont want to be the one to break the news. I have no attachment to british ppl anymore bc ive been hyper fixated on my bf who is a real person unlike the dastardly tommyinnit. I just want to plant a seed so in a way if all this is true no one is left blindsided and getting hella rsd. an old witch in a forest passed off a cryptic omen to you....

I still love gossip i cant help it, but I dont want to involve my presence in it bc I dont care that much. I do love a good keke with an anon always

No more hints. but if youre a true stalker it wont be that much of a surprise. No fans involved. dont take things at face value, and question if the stress is truly worth it #noticing . sometimes its better to let things go and grow to new heights (this last bit is for tommy too)

I know some of u will be annoyed that I caused all this ruckus only to leave u hanging but youll be fine. In a way it might be good for you. Sorry if this pissed you off Ithink I'm starting my period like tomorrow soon ive been mad asf and impulsive all week fuck these cars on the road why the hell are there birds in the sky why the hell is my boyfriend playing roblox FIND THE TROLL FACE YOU ARE TOO OLD FOR THAT SHT GETTOUTAHERE like does anyone else literally cringe when they hear that I feel like im being gaslit abt how its amazing is this how normies felt in 2020 when dsmp was blowing up wtf im sick what was i saying? oh yeah. keep watching tommy if u like the content it wont affect your moral standing trust mejust like how I would hate watch onision in middle school sorry yall i was addicted to #hate. and look. I get to see the beauty of nature everyday. yay! ^-^

uhm ...

[jcsontodd]

biting maiming violence etc

[zodiacs-web]

I never request from anyone so this is weird, but i am desperate bc theres nothing :'/

What about Qin Shi Huang with a fem!reader who kind of reminds him of his mother?

Smile/outfit/long hair (pls the long ass hair, i am a sucker for long asf hair😩)

But she is chaotic,careless,doesnt take anything seriously,laughs all the time, and flirts with everyone and everything.

(But not the submisive "blushes😳💅🏼" type, if he tries to flirt with her she'll be like "careful boy, i am ovulating😩" like a sly confident,'arrogant'(for humor purposes) strong beautiful woman who was also a fighter(¿???

Basically the: "the world could be ending, but i am going to spend my last minutes in bliss with this margarita" "he can be a psycho but he can also be really hot" "I think i just busted an ovary" "Omfg i am so hot" "Are you the EmpEror? NOBODY TOLD ME HE WAS THIS FINEEEE- CHINA TAKE ME WITH YOU"

But the similarities she has with his mother is that despite enjoying annoying people,having no morals and doing whatever she wants, her actions aren't actually damaging and she's honest and purely kind at nature(but you never get to see the kindness?)

I'm sorry, i am a very detail oriented person so i wanted to make sure i described it right, sorry if it's too much i kinda got carried away

I currently have my corrector in spanish so forgive my weird english

Have a wonderful day Queen👀❤

My Type of Queen

𖥔 Qin Shi Huang x F!Reader

𖥔 Synopsis: Chaotic reader

𖥔 What's in the web: swearing, dialogue from the ask, unedited

𖥔 A/n: I love the way you worded your request anon. You have a wonderful day as well!

𖥔 Reblogs are Appreciated!

Arrogant winds flown from the bottom of the mountain, a long day after keeping the guards grubby hands off a rich man. You spotted the nearest and familiar little cart that always housed you. Long hair swung from side to side as you finally made it to the area with your body in hazardous pain.

"What a fuckin' pain! Hey! Baldie, gimme your special!" You groaned as you sat on the flimsy wooden chair.

"Haha! (Y/n), always having a mouth against me. Anyways, how've ya been?"

"I've been doing well. But the man was loaded with riches, and YET, he tried to scam me by giving me half of what he offered. After all that help, and he does THIS!! Ugh."

"I bet he was a pain! No one can get past you with that attitude." He laughed as he passed a plate of peking roasted duck to the woman.

"Thanks, baldie!"

"You're never gonna drop that nickname, are ya?"

Giving him a signature smile, you grabbed the chopsticks and started prodding at the duck. The cut pieces shone as you moved them off the plate and into your mouth. A pleasure filled sigh left your lips as the flavors of the duck filled your senses. Suddenly, you remember something from the encounter again.

"Hey! Ya know, he also tried to flirt with me." The man before her nodded, amusing you in any way. "He got his panties in a twist when I did it back to him. Saying women shouldn't act like this. Shut up!"

The man laughed, knowing your arrogant nature was somewhat disbelieving, yet amusing. You then slowly chewed on your duck, feeling an unusual yet strong presence growing near. The sounds of those around you quickly caught your attention. They let out gasps from the sight before them.

You grabbed hold onto the shelf, that hung out of the cart, and leaned back. The view of people covering the street pissed you off like make some room, your view is more important. You leaned back into your original position and stared as the baldie prepared even more food.

That could either mean two things: 1) Somebody important was nearby or 2) there's a festival and he could get money from both. Doesn't matter. After all, his way of living was in the trash can. A giggle left your lips as you went back to feasting on your duck.

As you ate, the whispering and moaning of the crowd grew louder. Covered eyes stared in dread as your appearance quickly entered his view. You looked just like her, the hair, the outfit and smile all looked just like her.

Though some parts of you were much different yet, that didn't change anything. Of course, his curiosity got to him. Despite the fact that he was going to dine in another place that was much more rich and fancier for him, according to his advisors.

Silently, he sat down on one of the chairs next to you, eyes giving glances to you as the cover helped him hide it. Soldiers positioned themselves around him. You stared down at the duck while you saw him in your peripheral view. Slowly chewing on the soft skin before swallowing it to start a conversation.

"Who're you? And what're ya doin' causing a ruckus here?" You interrogated him all while grabbing a piece of duck and shoving it into your mouth.

"Me?" He grabbed a small menu from shelf in front of him, skimming it as he pondered. "I just wish to feast, why does my status matter?"

"You brought a town to us. Why doesn't your status matter?" You responded, body turning to face him.

You were serious, and you never got this serious so fast. There was just something about this guy who screamed, "Well, everything." But there was this curiosity too that made you want to know more about him.

"What are the soldiers here for?"

"Protection," He responded.

Your eyes glared at the man causing the soldiers to tense.

"Hey sir. I think I'd like Xiao longbao (soup dumplings)."

Baldie nodded before preparing the dumplings.

"How important are you that you need soldiers?"

"Well, as an emperor, I think all the protection I can get."

The emperor.

"You're the emperor!!!?? Ah~ I NEVER KNEW YOU WERE SO FINE~ HEY! HEY! TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!"

Your sudden outburst caught him off guard as well as his soldiers. You acted so different, that was he expecting just a few seconds ago. The serious type that turned out to be so chaotic, yet so lovable. He just loved the energy you gave. A smile decorated his face as he relished in it.

"What makes you think I'll take you?"

"I'm hot. Don't you see?"

Baldie laughed, the emperor taking a glance before looking back at you.

"Heh. That's true. Maybe I can take you in some ways."

He smirked, head turning to face you. A grin appearing on your face.

"Oh? Careful boy,...I'm ovulating."

Of course, he was taken aback, again, by your words, you were so out there that he couldn't believe it.

"Before we go on our way, can I perhaps have your name?"

"(Y/n) (l/n). And you, pretty boy?"

"Qin Shi Huang."