#i'm just happy that the comics have wrapped up nicely and that we can go get creative with the mercs moving forward

[mikadll]

thank you for saying all of this because it needs to be said and i am so sick of tf2 fans feeling entitled and harassing people because of it

people gonna hate me for this but idc...

i'm really happy that the last issue of the team fortress 2 comic is out now, first and foremost because i love tf2 with all my heart, it's been like family since 2009 for me and still, after all these years, a big comfort in my life.

secondly, i'm happy because there is finally an end now to the constant whining, bad takes, bad jokes and harrassment of the artists over a comic that is for fucking free. people have felt so entitled to a comic that is for fucking free. people had such foul takes like "the artist rather works on dota than the comic" (like, hello? ever heard of sth called work contracts? ppl out here really thought that makani CHOSE to work on dota instead of the tf2 comic and treat it like it's not her fucking JOB) and spread hate and misinfo that lead to people pestering the artists over a comic that is for fucking free. i'm so happy i never have to see a post of a crude mindmap, cropped from a badly pixelated screenshot again and people writing under it "SEE?!? the script is finished WHY won't the artist draw it??", framing it like it‘s their sole fault, and maybe you should not open your mouth if you don't know the difference between a mindmap and a script that has... ALL the info you need to translate that piece of work into a functioning, OUTSTANDING comic.

if it weren't for the artists you would not be reading the last chapter right now, because they were the ones pushing for it from the inside. i hope you all know that.

[vinyldreamsfuckup]

So High School

A: this was a random thing I came up with. I hope it’s cute

Warnings: fluff, drinking, smoking weed, smut, oral (female receiving), unprotected p in v, Kirk x fem

You and Kirk had been together since your sophomore year of high school. You were both the "weird" kids in high school. So when you got sat next to each other in third period history it almost felt like fate. You talked to each other nearly everyday since then. You always loved how much Kirk loved his comic books and horror movies. You could listen to him go on and on for hours and never get bored of him talking. You’d been in love with him since the moment you met him. When he joined Metallica you quickly became friends with all of the guys. You’d loved watching him play and being around him. There was simply just nothing better than being with him.

Though, one thing you never did was go to prom. It felt stupid and it seemed like a dumb thing to think about, but when you looked back at pictures from high school you’d always wished you had a picture in some stupid dress standing next to him. He knew this. He hated high school dances and didn’t really care, but he knew it was important to you, so when he surprised you with a “prom” at your old high school you were over the moon. It was just you, Kirk, James, Cliff, and Lars but it was going to be perfect regardless. Because you had him.

You wore a long, mint green, satin dress. It was a corset like dress that helped extenuate your body while still trying to look nice. There were laces up the back that showed your freshly tanned skin. Kirk wore a white shirt that was only halfway buttoned and black jeans with his black converse. He never cared for school dances in high school but he knew this was important to you and he wanted to do this to surprise you. So if you could only get jeans and a nice shirt then you’d take it. It being mostly unbuttoned was just a plus. You were standing in your backyard waiting for him to walk out with your corsage.

"You look beautiful," Kirk said as he walked out of the house. A smile spread across your face.

"Thank you, baby. You don't look too bad yourself," You giggled. Kirk chuckled and grabbed the corsage and wrapped it on your wrist. James and Lars giggled as they were snapping picture after picture as the two of you got ready. Kirk leaned in, his lips touching your ear.

"We should just ditch the whole thing. I can take you to the hotel and we can have a good time," Kirk whispered. You playfully hit his shoulder.

"Pose for the damn picture," You laughed out. He rolled his eyes and put his hand around your waist and looked at the camera. The two of you smiled taking a couple nice pictures before you both broke out into silly faces. Kirk ushered me to his car and we got in.

"You sure you wanna go to the dance and not just back to the hotel?" Kirk asked as he started the car. You laughed.

"I'm sure. Now lets go try to have a good time," You responded.

That's what the two of you did. You went and danced and ate some food. You both drank and smoked weed, getting undeniably high as fuck. You talked all night long, not even worrying about anything else. James, Lars, and Cliff all brought random girls to keep them company. They were all dressed up and getting shitfaced. You couldn’t help but smile at how sweet the whole thing was, but mostly you were just focused on Kirk and how happy he made you. You grabbed his hand and lead him out into the hallway and to your old locker. He pushed you against them just like he used to and connected your lips in a feverish kiss. The taste of weed and beer still on his you.

“Can we go back to the hotel now?” Kirk mumbled against your lips, his hand traveled up the strings of your dress, grazing the skin.

“Mhm…” You mumbled back with a nod. Kirk smiled and lifted you up bridal style before running back toward his car. You giggled as he ran.

You quickly arrived at the hotel and he lead you into the room and sat you on the edge of the bed. Your heart was full everything feeling so heightened. You two had sex all the time but for some reason this felt so much more intimate. He sat next to you on the bed and carefully undid the ties of your dress. He helped you out of it before pressing his lips to yours.

“You’re beautiful,” Kirk breathed out as he pushed you down on the bed. He trailed kisses down your chest and torso. His hands hooked around the lace of your thong before carefully pulling it off. A small groan left his lips as he stared at you, “so beautiful.”

He gently kissed down your thigh before settling between your legs. He licked between your folds groaning as he did so. Your hand tangled in his hair as a moan left your lips. He started to fuck you with his tongue, his thumb rolling against your clit.

“Fuck…Kirk…” You moaned out as your hand tangled into his hair. Kirk’s tongue quickly pumped in lapping up every last molecule. He groaned as he moved feeling you spasm beneath him.

“You’re so good,” Kirk mumbled, “So wet. So good.”

Your hips bucked against his tongue. He pressed your waist down on the bed and started to move his tongue quickly. His thumb spreading up against your clit. You were soon moaning out and finishing all over his tongue. He licked up your slick before standing up.

Your hands went to his shirt and quickly undid the rest of the buttons while he pulled himself out of his jeans. He was now standing in front of you naked, his dick standing tall and ready for you. He quickly pushed into you a loud moan leaving your lips as you adjusted.

“You’re so beautiful.” He groaned, “you’re so fucking wet.”

His hips started to rock and long moans left your mouth. Your hands gripped his back and your nails slowly raked down his back. He moaned out in a mix of pleasure and pain. He slowly picked up his pace ramming into you harder. He picked up your thigh and he lit by his stomach adjusting the angle. He fell in deeper hitting every spot perfectly.

“Kirk…oh my god,” you moaned out.

“That’s it, baby,” Kirk breathed out. He moved slightly faster.

“Don’t stop. That’s it. Yes…” you moaned out. He nodded and kept his pace ramming into you over and over. Your body started to shake and you loudly came, his name falling from your mouth

“Fuck…” Kirk groaned out. His hips still moving quickly chasing his orgasm. Your moans turned into loud whimpers as he kept going. Overstimulated and sensitive as he kept moving against you.

“Come on baby,” you whined. His head fell back and a loud moan left his mouth. He pulled out and came all over your stomach.

“Fuck…” Kirk said breathlessly. You nodded in agreement.

“Was this a good prom night?” Kirk chuckled out as he pulled away for a moment.

You nodded and smiled, “wouldn’t imagine it any other way, my love.”

[divineerdrick]

Homestuck Beyond Canon Upd8 for September 29, 2024

This is honestly a great time for an upd8.

I'm not doing so hot right now. Both my migraines and my fatigue have decided to start kicking my ass even harder. And I'm a little frustrated with that, since I've been trying to participate in the Path of Exile Runic Strife Gauntlet. But that's going to be hard if my body is going to be fighting me. I'm not making very good time as is, and I can't afford to lose a character due to lack of focus.

At times like this, Homestuck is often a comfortable blanket I'll wrap myself in. This comic has gotten me through hard times in the past, especially with amazing wealth of talent and compassion that's in the community. Even now, with probably a pretty hard chapter coming, I'm very much looking forward to it. I'm hoping we can get some more catharsis for Vriska's arc, and maybe finally give her another much needed breakthrough.

Here we are. Finally behind the 8 ball.

Hah! Also, apparently this is just "Later" so we don't have a definitive time frame. At least that probably means another year hasn't gone by.

That . . . that is a much more upbeat Serket than I was expecting. Hopefully she's not playing strong after her encounter with Scratch. She really does need to take some time to process that and move past it.

Nice boss pick there, in more ways than one.

Okay good! Looks like she did take some time reflect and recover. I'm hoping she actually spent some time addressing things though. Would have been nice to see some of that, but Homestuck has a habit of leaving some things to the imagination.

Looks like some opening up might have happened there. That's good! That means progress has definitely taken place!

Fefeta! Chewing everyone's ear off as usual! It's actually a cute contrast to Davepeta going on one of their usual tangents.

Vriska's never been shy about getting in on the RP action. Much less menacing than a Mindfang RP, but also still very much Vriska.

Hah! Vriska's trying to wrap her head around the sprite shenanigans.

Fefeta! No!!!

Nope. Not gonna explain anything.

No glomping without consent!

Consent and glomp achieved!

Looks like they're literally calling them hells. Also awesome art.

I'm still going with (Vriska), but that leaves the opportunity for Terezi to show up too, just as Aradia showed up with Tavros.

Kinda reminds me of the faint image of the stage at the center of the black hole.

Hey! I got one!

Wow! Really pushing the age difference here. This Vriska is still 6 after all.

It's one thing to apologize. But this is still a valid Vriska. Can you accept her.

And apparently she can't do it.

Wow! She really just peace'd the fuck out!

And that's it for the chapter. Vriska has hit another wall. Despite the fact she knows she should, she can't accept the part of her she views as having given up - as choosing happiness over the mission. She's probably telling herself that this version of her left everyone behind when they still needed her, and she can't accept that. But the simple fact is that version of her is still a valid her. It's still a path she took. We don't see any other versions of Vriska in the bubbles, because but for one well placed punch this was Vriska's fate. Sally "thewertsearch" just got to Vriska's death in her liveblog. Scratch makes it clear that Vriska always chose to fix the coin, always chose to go fight jack, and Terezi always stabs her in the back because she knows what the consequences will be. It's a constant across all timelines. And that Vriska always fights to stay relevant until everyone but Meenah leaves her. And then she chooses happiness instead.

And apparently, Vriska just can't deal with that.

[natalie668]

Chapter 2 - Lost Girl

Warnings: will contain smut in future chapters, MFM, FM, sometimes more than 3 people lol. Violence (hello they’re vampires), mentions of drugs. (Paul smoking weed)

This story is going to be at least 30+ chapters. It’s still in its planning stages for the future but I love Lost boys (have since I was little) i need to let you all know that I’m a mother to 2 autistic children and a lot of my time is spent looking after them, but I will try and post at least weekly. Hope that’s ok with you all ❤️❤️ please feel free to post comments I’ll reply to every single one 🖤🖤

As we make our way through the crowds lingering across the boardwalk i can't help but to follow like a lost sheep. I have no clue where we're going but, but surely my soulmate can't be leading me to danger? That's why my legs willingly follow him as he makes his way towards a motorbike.

He gets on, and holds his hand out to me to take hold of, "come on, jump on." He says his eyes baring into my own.

I take a deep breath and pulling my pencil skirt upwards feeling rather self conscious, I get my leg over and secure my arms around his waist. This is my first time on a motorbike and my heart is in my throat. We begin to take off, he goes at a careful speed, we'd been driving for around 15 minutes before we came to a wooden looking house. We pull up the dirt path leading to the front of the home.

He kicks out the stand and slides off, his arms help me get off the bike, a smile now taking over his beautiful features. "This is my home, come on," he says as he leads me through the front door. "My mum should be home soon."

We make our way into what looks like a living room, there's a teenage boy sat on the sofa reading a Batman comic. I can't help but smile seeing a youngster reading.

He looks up from his comic, a frown marring his features, "why have you bought a girl home Mikey, moms not going to be happy." He practically finishes in sing song with a grin on his face.

He pushes his little brother by the shoulder, "Mom will be happy for me. Sammy; meet my soulmate - y/n."

Who i now know as Sam, his mouth opens wide like a gawping fish. He stutters, "Oh my god! Mikeys found his soulmate!?" He says practically vibrating on the spot with excitement. I can't help but to grin and smile at the kid. He seems so happy bless him.

I lean forward extending my hand, "it's nice to meet you Sammy,". We shake hands both of us grinning.

Michael wraps an arm around my shoulders, "well, I'm going to go get to know y/n some more, shout us when mums home." He says as we make our way up the stairs to what I can only assume is his bedroom.

We step into his bedroom and I take in the posters around jotted around on the walls. A single bed is the only thing to sit on in there. He sits himself down making himself comfy, I make my way over slipping my shoes off before climbing onto the bed.

We look at each other taking one another in, “So, what were you doing at the Board walk, you looked a bit lost. And I know I’ve never seen you there.” He says to me as I press my fingers to my lips, I can’t get over how good looking my soulmate is, he’s so handsome.

I look down at my hands, trying to think of what to say, whether to risk telling the truth and scaring my soulmate away or risking him getting me sent to a nut house. Oh sod it, what’s the worst that can happen.

“You’re going to think I’m crazy,” i say as i look up to him, “This morning I was in the year 2024, and I was on my way home from work, and I got hit by lightning and woke up on the sand in 1987.”

I peer up at, him waiting to see his reaction, peering up at him he seems shocked, obviously what else would you expect. “I promise I’m telling the truth, I know it sounds absolutely bonkers but it’s true.” I say as I look into his eyes, they seem to be taking in what I just said.

He leans forward, his fingers pressing to my cheek, he leans in and kisses my forehead, pulling me towards him. "I believe you, why would you lie about something like that." his chin is resting on the top of my head.

I lean in taking in his scent, I can't help but to feel safe in his embrace, snuggling against his chest. He smells me, I can hear his intake of breath breathing me in.

"You'll be ok love, I promise I'll take care of you forever." he says to me, nuzzling his face against me.

"Forever is a long time Michael, are you sure you can promise forever." i say to him grinning against his chest. I feel his chest vibrate with laughter.

"You'll find, we'll all be able to promise you forever, sweetheart." his fingers caress my hair, his fingers running through it.

I pull away from him, confused. "What do you mean we?," i say to him, does he know my other soulmates?

Michael is just about to speak when theres a knock against his bedroom door, "Come in," he says to the person at the door.

A beautiful blonde lady walks in, you hazard a guess that this woman is his mother. "Hi sweetie, it's lovely to finally meet my Michaels soulmate." she says as she rushes over and pulls me into a loving embrace. her warmness and nurturing nature reminds you of your own mother, a mother who would be in her 20s like yourself in 1987, the thought makes your head spin.

I lean into her hug, "Its lovely to meet you too," i say as she pulls back a huge loving smile on her face.

chapter 3

[your-goth-sis]

Hiii ❤️ I was wondering if I could get a (dbd) Frank x fem reader were her and ash broke up and she goes to the legion for comfort for the breakup. Frank's always had a thing for the reader so he sees his chance to position himself as the next bf and does this progressively over the next couple of months while she strengthens her friendship with the rest of the legion. Ofc they get together in the end (I'm sorry if this is not super specific feel free to add whatever to this)

Heyy of course, here you go enjoy it :) ❤️❤️❤️

Frank x Fem! Reader

Today, you were happy. You reached your 2 year anniversary with Ashley, your longtime boyfriend. You two met when you first came in the realm and he practically took you under his wing and taught you everything.

You had a thought though.. Was he losing feelings for you? He'd choose to spend more time with his friends over you and and you rarely spent time together. You were concerned to say the least.

So, you decided to ask Ashley what was up, but before you could say anything, you could already tell how this conversation would go based on his facial expression.

"Hey y/n, can we talk?"

"Sure"

"We need to break up. Im sorry"

Your eyes widen. The way he said it sounds like he barely cared at all.

"I understand.." you looked down and walked to the woods. Your feet carried you to Ormond. You loved the Legion members because for some odd reason, they were always nice to you. So, you kept walking until you heard rock music. You carefully approached them and cleared your throat. Their heads snap towards you "Uh! I.." you couldn't get your words out as tears threatened to spill from your eyes. Frank could immediately tell something was wrong with you.

"What are you doing here? Don't you know its dangerous?" Frank got up from his seat and walked towards you, folding his arms.

"I don't know where else to go" you mumbled, your voice cracking.

Frank felt pity. For the first time ever, he felt pity "What happened?" he sits you down and they all listen.

"I just got broken up with" you started crying now, breathing rapidly. Frank puts his arm around your shoulder "By whom?"

"Ashley" you lean into Frank's touch. Frank was secretly celebrating but on the surface, he looked completely sympathetic.

"Well, I know who we're targeting next" Julie smirked.

"Ditto" replied Susie.

You were surprised when Frank hugged you. You gasped but hugged back. He was rubbing your back in circles, which was honestly quite relaxing. You cry more into his shoulder. They looked at Frank in shock. Frank had a soft side? Since when?

As the months go by, your relationship with the Legion grew more and more and you were getting quite close with Frank especially. You visited them again but on this particular day, Frank acted differently. He acted weird. You knew something was up when the Entity introduced a new realm filled with cherry blossoms and well taken care of plants.

Frank had asked you if you wanted to check it out together, ALONE. To which you agreed. He took you up a hill. Now, you were surprised at how beautifully the Entity can create realms.

"So uhh, Y/n. What do you think?" he nervously rubbed his neck. You chuckled "You're saying this as if you're the one who made it"

"I did work for this" Frank replied "I sacrificed so many people, so the Entity rewarded me with a proper place where I can.. Hang out with you! Yes.

You smiled "It's beautiful"

Frank smiled from behind his mask "Good" he took your hand with one hand and with the other took his mask off. This was the first time you saw his face and to be honest, he was cute. He even had freckles (based on the Legion comic). He took your other hand "Y/n.. I love you. I don't know if you're ready but- hmfff" you interrupted him with a kiss.

"Oh Fank! You have no idea how happy I am to hear those words from you" you smiled up at him. You were caught off guard when Frank roughly kissed you. You wrap your arms around his neck and embrace the kiss.

You may have lost Ashley, but at least have Frank to kiss you better :)

[myveryownfanfiction]

18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

tags: @illiana-mystery

Warnings: swearing

AN: Hey if you don't like it, dont read it but this will be written the way Barry talks. I'm not going to take away a character's disability just to make this.

“Hey (Y/N).” Barry said as he sat down next to me. I rolled my eyes. “What time should I pick you up for ouw date?” Sheldon paused as he stared at Barry.

“excuse me?” He said, eyebrow raised as he took in how I was leaning slightly away from Barry. “I didn’t think the two of you even got along outside of work.” I nodded.

“We don’t.” I shot a glare at Barry. “But for some reason, this dork thinks he can keep asking me out.” Sheldon’s glare deepened. “It’s getting exhausting honestly.” Barry rolled his eyes and nudged my leg under the table. I nudged him back and he bit back a smile. Barry dug his phone out of his pocket and I groaned, putting my head in my hands. "Sheldon, help me. Please." Sheldon just shook his head and continued eating.

"Hey Siwi, can you wecommend a westauwant?" Barry said. I looked over and saw him staring at his phone.

"I'm sowwy Bawwy. I cannot understand wecommend a westauwant." Barry's smile fell.

"You suck Siwi." He muttered before pocketing his phone. His hand found mine under the table and squeezed. "Anyway. We can always find one later." I looked over at him with a disgusted look on his face.

"I said no Barry." I said. Sheldon looked over and nodded.

"Take a hike Barry." He said. "No one wants you here. Learn to take no for an answer." I squeezed his hand before letting go as he got up.

“bye Barry.” I smirked as he shook his head at me. I could tell he was fighting a smile.

“latew losews.” He threw us a peace sign and walked off. Before he turned the corner, he looked at me with a smile that made me fight my own. Nodding to the side, Barry raised an eyebrow. I nodded as he headed down the hallway.

“you don’t think I know, but I do.” Sheldon said, watching me carefully. I turned back towards him and frowned.

“know what?” I asked. Sheldon gave me a look and I held up my hands. “I don’t know what you’re talking about half the time Sheldon. so know what?”

“you and kripke.” Sheldon said, pointing his fork in the direction Barry had just run off to. “You’re together. Oh don’t give me that look.” I was staring at him with my mouth open. “He’s a lot nicer around you. And he lays off me. Which I’m sure you asked him to do. And you have been missing a lot of video game nights and comic book store nights.” Sheldon raised his eyebrows. “That secret boyfriend of yours? It’s kripke.”

“you sneaky bastard!” I laughed. Sheldon smiled at me. “And what if we are?” I tilted my head at him.

“I’m not happy about it. But I can tolerate it.” He said. I reached over and tapped his tray. Sheldon shook his head and motioned for me to leave. “Go. He’s waiting for you. And I’m sure he’s now worried about what I’m telling you.”

“worried no.” I said, standing up. “Annoyed, hell yeah.” Sheldon snorted and I winked at him before heading down the hall. “Barry you can come out now. Sheldon knows.”

“aw fuck.” Barry complained as he opened the janitor door. “How? You didn’t tell him did you?” I shook my head as he wrapped an arm around me.

“No. It’s Sheldon.” I laughed as he drew me into his side. We started walking down the hall to his office. “He’s worse than Sherlock Holmes sometimes.” Barry squeezed my shoulder and hung his head.

“alwight. I guess we tell the guys then.” I nodded as I put my head on his shoulder. “How do you feel about that?” I shrugged.

“I mean Sheldon was the big hurdle. It’ll be nice not to have Howard hit on me all the time.” I said. Barry laughed and kissed my head.

“only im allowed to hit on you.” He said softly.

“yeah. And I don’t know who I was getting more annoyed with.” I teased. Barry frowned at me and pulled me against him tighter with a growl.

“hey. Be caweful about that.” He said. I laughed as I turned to kiss him. Barry hummed against my lips. “Alwight. You have eawned my fowgivness.” I laughed and squeezed his waist.

“thank you.” I giggled and pushed Barry’s office door open. “Now we need to talk about you joining us for some kind of dinner thing at Sheldon and Leonard’s apartment. An initiation type thing I’ve been told before.”

“fuck me!” Barry groaned as we went into his office.

[augustheart]

doom patrol finale review

character-by-character breakdown:

vic's ending is definitely the best. i love this for him and i think it's the natural progression of his character in this show especially considering little moments like his relationship with baby doll--he's so good with kids of all ages and this is definitely where he would've ended up... maybe not regardless of what happened after he became cyborg, but i think this was definitely an "all roads lead to compassionate mentorship making a difference home" ending for him. i also think he and derrick should get married but that's secondary.

larry's ending is second best for me. to be clear i have no idea what the fuck they're gonna do now but i am very happy for him. we should all wish to be endgame with sendhil ramamurthy.

i really, really wish i liked k's ending but because tv-verse casey is so Nothing i don't care for it. i have complex feelings about the original morrison plot point the underground's coexistence in this way is based on but i think the show handled it fine. but i'm glad they're happy and i think them going by K is nice because it's a reflection of the fact that k-5's chosen name in the underground is k-5, not kay challis. they can't identify with that name because of trauma, but they can reclaim the girl. i may be talking myself into liking it more just by writing this. but i still wish tv casey was actually a character/anything like her comic book counterpart. she doesn't even get to have her own paragraph here.

i think i like cliff's ending. i don't like that it presents being with clara in florida as home when i don't think that's been the case at all throughout the show, but i do think i like it other than that. especially as someone who has been a fan of this character in the comics for years and wants him to be able to finally rest after outlasting so many in his life. i also find divorce having so thoroughly infected cliff's family to be hilarious. only clara and mel escaped the divorce curse.

laura's ending is good. no notes.

rita's ending is so, so close to being good. i actually really like it. she was the first with niles and she's the first to leave without him. but i don't care about agent ! in the slightest. sorry. he just doesn't mean anything to me. but i do think her getting her happy ending is good. i wish larry brought something of hers with him when he left, though. they love(d) each other so dearly until the end even when they were annoying the shit out of each other.

dorothy not being in the finale at all and only being mentioned once is very weird. where's my baby girl!

in terms of other things:

i think they should've wrapped up the actual plot of the season in the last episode so this one just could've been a homecoming finale, because as it is it felt rushed and weird. (i have similar criticism of the stargirl finale, but i give that a little more wiggle room because at least the climax happened. like. onscreen?)

clint mansell's score still goes beyond crazy because he's never composed something that doesn't fuck supremely imo

i am inherently prejudiced against stories that are like "and then they all went their separate ways but remembered their wacky found family fondly" at the end but i think the way they did it here was probably the best they could've done if they wanted to go that route.

i think my season ranking is 1, 4a, 3a, 4b, 3b, 2? maybe? as you can see those middle two are kinda wishy-washy, but i do still really like (...for the most part) the beginning of this season and of season three.

i have more thoughts but i'm having trouble formulating them. if anyone wants a more detailed look at something i left out then feel free to ask.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Eyes and Ears

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam

Summary: An AU where Barbara finds Jason instead of Bruce.

Chapters: 25/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Barbara Gordon, Jim Gordon, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Sheila Haywood, Original Character(s)

Relationship(s): Jason Todd/Original Character(s), Past Barbara Gordon/Dick Grayson

Additional Tags: Canon Divergent AU, Older SIbling Barbara Gordon, Jason Todd-centric, Barbara Gordon is Oracle, Jason Todd is NOT Robin, Jason Todd Has Issues, Jason Todd Has a Crush, Adopted Siblings

Chapter Twenty-Five: Natural Thyme

After two weeks at home, Jason and his friends finally returned to school, and Jim took his opportunity to redecorate Jason's room. Jason spent the week at one of his theater friend's houses. After three days of working in the room, Jim sat on the floor looking at pictures in his wallet. "You miss him, don't you?" Barbara asked.

"He'll be home on Friday night," Jim replied.

"But you miss him?" Barbara asked. Jim lay back on the floor.

"Of course, I miss him. He wasn't exactly happy when I suggested he spend the week with his friends," Jim replied, "I'm almost done with the room. Maybe if I finish early, I can pick him up on Thursday."

"If you want... He texted me and asked me if it was okay for him to stay over at the Polishuk's place," Barbara replied.

"Tell him it's alright, and tell him to call me—."

"He's mad at you," Barbara interrupted as she sent a text to Jason.

"I know he's mad at me. Tell him to call me, so I can tell him I can't wait to see him on Friday," Jim sat up, "Should I just tell him what I'm doing?"

"And ruin the surprise? Nope... Just tell him that you're almost caught up with work and that you miss him," Barbara replied, "Hold on, he said he's busy..." Barbara texted Jason back. "Wait for it."

Jim's phone rang. "What did you say to him?" Jim asked.

"Don't worry about it. Just answer the phone," Barbara smiled as she left Jim alone.

"Hello?" Jim answered.

"Hi," Jason mumbled.

"Jason, hey. I just wanted to check in with you. I um—. I miss you," Jim stumbled over his words for a moment.

"Do you want me to come home soon?" Jason asked.

"I actually called to talk to you about that. I'm almost caught up at work, so I should be able to pick you up after school on Friday... Unless I pick you up Friday morning, and we could make a day of it," Jim suggested.

"What's the real reason you wanted me out of the house? You're not at work," Jason's voice lowered to a whisper.

"Uh... Barbara wanted to start wrapping Christmas gifts," Jim half-lied.

"Oh, okay. Um, are you sure you're okay with me staying at Reese's?" Jason asked.

"I'm okay with it. Jason, you know I trust you... Unless you want me to say no," Jim replied. He waited for a reply from Jason, and he sat up straight. "Jason?"

"It's not that, I just-. Pop, I just want to make sure you know we're gonna go on a date before going to his house. We're gonna get pizza and look at the stars in his backyard before—."

"What time are you gonna be in?" Jim asked.

"Just before ten," Jason replied.

"Okay, yeah, that's fine," Jim relaxed his shoulders, "Can I ask if you kids have put a—? If you're going steady?"

Jason let out a laugh. "Going steady?" Jason asked.

"Exclusive?" Jim clarified.

"Oh, well, I don't like anyone else, and he doesn't either, but we haven't really talked about-. We haven't said anything about the boyfriend stuff," Jason whispered.

Jim nodded to himself as he made a soft noise. "Jason, I hope you have a nice second date," Jim replied. Jason took a deep breath.

Jason lingered for a while on the phone, and Jim chewed his lip. "Friday?" Jason asked.

"I promise I'll pick you up on Friday," Jim promised, "Go have fun, Jason. I love you."

"Love you too," Jason whispered. Barbara brought Jim some leftovers and sat on the floor with him.

"I like the color you picked," Barbara complimented.

"I hope he likes it. We talked about colors last year, and I think this is what he described to me," Jim replied as he looked around, "I'm not much of a decorator, but this is just kind of his vision. The wooden shelves, the dark green—. I hope he likes it."

Barbara looked around and smiled, "I like it... I'm sure he'll like it too. What do you have to do now?"

"Put together the bed, hang up some pictures, and move the desk back in once the paint dries," Jim answered.

"I'll help you put together the bunk bed," Barbara replied. Jim raised an eyebrow. "It's better than hearing you complain about how the instructions make no sense." Jim chuckled.

[unrestrainedbalderdash]

It's pride month! And I'm an oriented aroace who's madly in love with the Riddler, so have an annotated comic panel because he's just so attractive here. (I have definitions under the cut for some of the terminology!) Warning this could be slightly cringe if you're not really of the same opinions? So I guess skip past this if you don't want to read me just gushing about the Riddler. Also this is very rambly, be warned.

Grabbable waist

Grabbable waist - look at him. He's so shaped and I just want to wrap my arms around him - this is definitely sensual attraction here. Adding to this, spandex is really good; we have the benefits of not wearing clothes - we can see his shapes (I am a little bit of a nerd about muscles blame the old special interest in JoJo), and would be really nice to cuddle since there would be nothing in the way - with the benefits of clothes - he is not naked, and his spandex really expresses himself, as it is green and covered in question marks.

His smile is precious

His smile is precious - Look at him. He's smiling :) He looks so happy and mischievous! He's my silly guy! His face wrinkles show he's really smiling as well (I am of the belief that Riddler has some wrinkles and isn't smooth-faced). He just looks so happy and I love him. This is linked to some sort of emotional attraction.

His hand is hurt :c Fingers need stroking

His hand is hurt (sad face) Fingers need stroking. His hand is broken, the poor guy, but he stays silly! His fingers look really soft, and I want to hold his hand, and gently stroke his fingers. Additionally, the penciller, credited as Graham Nolan, seems to be very good at drawing hands (and anatomy in general) so that really helps make him more attractive. I am jealous of these beautiful hands. The inker - credited as David Roach - has also done a great job of portraying his outfit, and the inking on the gloved hand and the serratus anterior (the muscle shaped like the ribs, I just wanted to get a muscle name in there) and general torso area is very good. I love the inking on the glove. Also, the arm looks great, and I think the colourist - credited as Gloria Vasquez - has done some very pretty rimlighting. And, while I'm talking about the inking and the colouring, they have done a great job on his question mark cane, it looks so pretty! This paragraph seems to be exhibiting aesthetic and sensual attraction.

Matching outfits with the besties

Matching outfits with the besties - He, Query and Echo are so co-ordinated (apart from the fishnet tights, but I'm assuming this is from before they would think of depicting men wearing them, even though he would probably slay (but I personally am a fan of what he's wearing here)). He's got such good friendship for them to willingly join in with his silly aesthetic, and it's so wholesome! Imagine if your besties started dressing up like your special interest!

The eyeholes change shape with expression! Cute!

The eyeholes change shape with expression! Cute! - This is an addition to the point about his smile (it should probably go next to it but I'm doing it in colour order and unlike him I am not a genius who plotted this far ahead). He is truly smiling with his eyes. Anyone who's seen Riddler in Batman: the Animated Series knows that masks that move to express with the eyes are simply adorable. He's so happy. I love him

The aspec explanations and definitions here:

I'm going to define lots of things here just so that anyone can understand no matter how little they know about us!

💚💜 The basics:

Asexual - Feeling little or no sexual attraction, or only in specific circumstances. Can use more specific microlabels.

Aromantic - Feeling little or no romantic attraction, or only in specific circumstances. Can use more specific microlabels.

Aroace - Someone who is asexual and aromantic

Aspec - The community of asexual, aromantic, aplatonic, and other a- prefix orientations, as a big spectrum.

Allo - The prefix for non-aspec, such as alloromantic and allosexual

Amatonormativity - The societal view that everyone should aim to be in a committed monogamous romantic relationship. This hurts everyone, and erases aromantic and polyamorous people

Here is a reminder that some aromantic people are lovequeer (me), and redefine society's definitions of love (usually romance-centric) to reject amatonormativity and the societal views, and uplift different kinds of love. Some aromantic people are loveless, and completely reject the idea of love. These are all valid and need to be respected!

💚💜The funky lil oriented aroace stuff:

The Split Attraction Model - There are different kinds of attraction that can be independent to each other. For example, somebody could be an aromantic allosexual, a biromantic asexual, a pansexual lesbian etc. Many people consider romantic and sexual attraction, but there are other types of attraction...

Oriented aroace - An aroace who feels tertiary attractions significant enough to warrant a place along their aroace identity.

Tertiary attraction: Any type of attraction that isn't romantic or sexual. Including:

Aesthetic attraction - Thinking someone is pretty or good-looking or something.

Sensual attraction - Wanting to touch something. A lot of allo (non-aspec) people use it when talking about sexy things, but sensual attraction is not inherently sexual. Examples can include the desire to cuddle or hold hands!

Alterous attraction - An emotional attraction that isn't strictly romantic or platonic. Think of it like a non-binary; sometimes it can be a mix between the two, sometimes it can be completely outside of them. It's different from person to person.

Thank you for reading! (how did this post go from me gushing about the Riddler to a guide to oriented aroaces. Spreading the aspec agenda to the Riddler fans I guess)

[fourseasonsfigs]

Good Sword

This fig set! I got it a long time ago, but it took so much wrangling I'm just now getting around to writing this post.

We know the inspiration for this fig from this amazing scene in Episode 2:

There's a lot of delicate pieces on this fig set - Lao Wen's hairpin, his flying hair wispies, and of course A-Xu's Baiyi, so I'm happy this fig set arrived safely in it's protective polystyrene.

I love it when figs are in plastic like this - they make it super easy to remove from the box. Less worry about breakage from me for sure.

Let's do a quick spin around of these two figs before we connect them.

Beautiful! I love this set - it's a slightly different style than the more typical chibi style, a little more "grown up". There's some wonderful detail of the bamboo embroidery on Wen Kexing's white robes, and on his ginkgo hairpin. A-Xu of course is in his hobo best, with his drinking gourd and layered blue robes.

So here's the problem. They're very difficult to fit well together. The fig maker was horrified to hear that some fans broke Baiyi by mistake, trying to get the two figs to connect together. She issued instructions to the buyers on how to connect them, but I have to say, they didn't help me all that much.

One of the issues is that Wen Kexing's two fingers that are supposed to hold the blade - don't. The fingers are tiny and cute, as you can see by him flashing a peace sign there, and not in any way big enough for Baiyi to snap into. You can press the sword a little bit into the fingers, but it pops right out. I guess if his fingers were actually big enough to hold Baiyi, they'd be comically large, so I get it!

You can see when I actually put them together so the sword goes in the fingers, that the heights are off. When I push Lao Wen down or A-Xu up so both of their feet are on the same level, the sword pops right out. Also, the wispies on Lao Wen's hair block A-Xu from getting too close, and then you have Lao Wen's hand that (in the show) wraps around his waist, but here, just seems to hold his drinking gourd.

This is literally the only way I can get the figs to fit together. You see Lao Wen's wispy that's running into A-Xu's hair? I was worried about breaking that putting them together. I was worried about breaking Baiyi of course. I was also worried about breaking Lao Wen's fingers! You can see now why I've put off doing anything with this set for a while. I ended up gluing the figures down, then put a bit of glue between Lao Wen's fingers and then holding the sword between his fingers for about 6 minutes until the glue set. You can see how Baiyi is more wavy than a curve - that's because the heights didn't quite work out. In retrospect and looking at this picture, maybe I should have angled Baiyi down from the top a bit so the tip was pointed down - less parallel to the base.

But! All that aside, it finally all worked out with no damage, so I'm very happy! Let's give you a spin back around the pair now that they're not going anywhere:

You can see Lao Wen's wispy here that kept getting in the way. I kept trying to turn A-Xu a little more into Lao Wen's hand, so his hand would properly go around his waist, but that of course just rotated Baiyi even further out. You can see here how, as it is, the sword tip just barely is being held between Lao Wen's fingers. If I rotated A-Xu the other way, away from Lao Wen (which just sounds wrong!), then Lao Wen's hand and that wispy gets in the way.

In the shot in the show, they both truly are facing forward, so the fig maker did a really nice job translating this to fig form. I think it must get real complicated real fast when you try to design figs like this to fit each other - I've seen how easy it is to get the proportions of arms and hands off, so the fact that this set adheres to closely to the scene while remaining cute and delicately made is amazing.

They're both wearing their pants and boots, you just can't see A-Xu's because of the dark blue layers. Their feet are also very, very small and narrow, which complicated things as well because they aren't very stable figs even before you try to connect them together.

Looks pretty good from the top, I think!

Here's a comparison of our Good Sword figs with our wonderful Dirty Bag and Snow Maiden figs so you can see the typical fig proportions with this new body style. Much smaller and more delicate all the way around. I love them both!

Our very cute box card with Lao Wen delivering his line...with a little smile!

It's funny the bits of Chinese I've picked up from the show, as I slowly and painfully plod my way through Learn Rudimentary Chinese in 15 Minutes a Day for Working Adults. Thanks to my lessons, I can say things like, I eat noodles, and I am busy in the morning. Thanks to Word of Honor, I can say things like Good sword, and I am a philanthropist.

We've already done the New Year Wenzhou set here on the box...just two more to go in this series! Please look forward to it!

Material: Resin and a very good sword

Fig Count: 397

Scene Count: 27

Rating: Thanks for helping out, Philanthropist Wen!

[link back to Master Fig Index for more posts]

[r95irth]

Will- oh-WIPs!

I think I'm going to start this weekly (or monthly) post to boost my confidence. (and convince myself that my WIPs do go forward) Order is important it's priority list.

Burning Roof - Chapter 115 is being beta-read. Chapter 120 is being written - Page 2/10 It's the most important part of this arc and I can't mess this up or it will fuck one character's arc for the rest of the story (pressure? nah)

Just a Drop - Chapter 30 Bonus - Finished - 20 pages in total - JGY's scar missing plot point dealt with LXC, a tiny bit with NMJ + MXY's secret boyfriend reveal. Waiting second reading from me + beta-reading eventually. I'm so happy I finished this, I was stuck on it for so long because the smut part blocks me (there's no smut, I chicken out, and followed my dear beta's advices and it works)

Jiaoren - Chapter 7 - Page 1/10 - Xiyao AU where MY is a Jiaoren in Sunshot and Jiaoren's flesh can grant immortality if given willingly. Unstuck myself last month on this Xiyao + wangxian story. It was supposed to be a short story it's not going to be that. I'm not surprised :c

Ghost story - At Page 42 - Xiyao + 3zun dynamic fix it supposed OS that is (surprise) not going to be an OS, I was stuck because I started it after a dream and I had 0 plot. Currently scripting and plotting it with the help of my beta to whom I finally asked for help. I have the start + the end but still figuring out the middle and how-to-get-to-the-climax part (the most difficult one for me)

Heaven official - Xiyao where JGY ascended at the end of MDZS. Went wild on twitter a few days ago with the idea, scripted this completely, wrote the prologue of 1 page and half. Ahahha. Fortunately Shiome made an awesome art of the core idea so accidentally my brain is fed, let's see how long it holds until it comes back scratching and hissing.

9 months - Scripted completely !! Now time to write the first page. Still figuring out the first line.

Freaky Friday MDZS version - Serie of OS where sibs characters of the serie swap place to fix canon. Vaguely scripted. I wrote 1 and half page of a prologue and now I'm chapter 1 with the first word JIN ZIXUAN and that's it. I know next scene is JZXuan pov waking up at the Yunping brothel at the age of 8. But brain wants to draw it not write it.

Cultivator.exe - Chapter 2 - Page 10/10 - Brain is like : no plot, only slice of life, and body is like : no plot, no progress.

KittYao - Chapter 2 Page 5/10 - Self explanatory title? JGY wakes up as a cat because of XY. No script only vague plot. Brain wants to draw it, not write.

Nice to meet you - Chapter 6 / 44 pages in total - I have to rewrite this in omniscient pov, I decided. I do not know how to write omniscient pov, brain replied. Then we're stuck, we said. what about drawing it, wouldn't that be omniscient pov by default? Brain whispered, we never tried a WEBCOMIC format, maybe it will be fun! Lazy ass who knows how much work a comic is not listening.

Take Care - Wrote a bonus chapter about Maho's feeling toward Satoru that is around 20 pages, decided I didn't like that but I like what I wrote and now I don't know where my characters are at so we're all stuck. Next chapter is 20 pages long and far from over and I'm tired. I walkway get stuck every 20 pages that' why Home format is better it's 10 pages chapter so I get comment boosted. Waiting to see if BNHA's end will give me a fan boost to come back. If not, I will write an alternative end and wrap Take care at Satoru and Mahô getting to UA and todomomo getting a positive pregnant test.

Novel number 1 - 5irth - Have to re-read and re-write the first part then publish it on KDP eventually after maquetting it. I hate re-writing + I have to re-write in French and I'm scared I lost my level.

Novel number 2 - Constellations - Stuck with one character's power in one book, stuck with the plot in the other book. It's in French too. Brain wants to draw it/turns it into a webcomic. I hate that loop.

If you want information about any of this WIP or a tiny sample of it, feel free to send a request/ask here. I don't have a life anyways, I've got things to write instead.

Yes it's too many WIPs, I know. But I have an explanation for that : it's hard to live with my brain. It stays rent free inside my head and I can't get it out.

[endoskeletons-and-turtles]

Let's start off small, shall we?

how about some; Leo dating headcannons

« simp bot

Dating Rottmnt Leo

Request status: received and answered

Leo loves to make you smile in any way he can! Seeing you smile because of him makes him the happiest man alive

Loves picking you up out of nowhere and spinning you around. He won't if you're doing something that could cause either of you to get hurt (cooking, training, etc)

He can't exactly give you his clothes to wear as they probanly dont fit correctly because of his shell, but he 100% goes shopping with you! He prefers to do it online so the two of you can hang out in his room, but he'll absolutely be down to go out in public to go to different stores. He'll even pay for you! With Donnie's credit card

You're the only person allowed to take his comics out of the lair. He'll give you an armful of them whenever he goes out on missions, talking about which ones are his favourites and the ones that he thinks you'll like. He knows missions can drag on for at least a couple of hours, and he feels bad if you have to stay at the lair

Once he came home to you reading the comics he gave you and he got so happy. He almost started crying as he wrapped you in a hug, having the nerve to tease you about being such a comic nerd.

One of his big love languages is quality time! He adores it when he can sit next to you on the couch and read a comic, and you're doing your thing. It makes him feel like the two of you are a normal couple, even just for a little bit. He craves a simple domestic life, and loves any time he can get it with you

Absolutely paints your face with red facepaint so the two of you can be matching. You might think he would goof around with it and maybe draw on your face, but honestly? The thought never crossed his mind. He loves to be matching with you in any way he can, and he thinks you look so cute with the same markings as him!!

Speaking of matching, the two of you 100% have matching necklaces or bracelets or charms. I'm sorry but it's going to happen. If you're not big on jewelery, he'll get you a keychain or a little figurine or some sort of sticker. You two will be matching.

He matches your outfits together! Congrats, you have your own personal clothing critique. He'll say that he'll never let you go out looking like a mess, and 100% get you comfy clothes that look super fashionable. Layering sweetheart, layering!!

He loves cheek kisses. He'll sneak up behind you and kiss your cheek, or make a mini portal just to kiss you if he's on a mission. He'll act all suave and cool when he's giving you them, but if you kiss him back he'll get So Flustered

Sleeps on his chest and isn't exactly the best at cuddling when in bed, but he 100% makes a whole space for you in his bed. And he has a NICE bed. Silk pillows and blankets, he goes through a special nighttime routine with skin care, he's got the fancy white noise going on in the background. And he will 100% include you in it. Congrats, you now have a skin care routine set up specifically for you and your skin!!

He just really loves you and is so happy to be with you

[sadboyeddie]

Part 1: Early To Rise

Happy Camper Series

Summary: Another camping story to add to the pile. You like Eddie, Eddie likes You, Eddie likes Steve, Steve likes Eddie, Steve likes You. Can I make it any more obvious?

Warnings: smut, blow jobs, crass words? (Minors DNI! 18+ only)

A/N: Okay so it's been a hot minute since I've written anything long so please be gentle. English IS my first language I'm just dumb and bad at grammar.

4.1k words

Masterlist | 1 | 2 | 3 |

You drop your duffel bag to the ground with a tired huff before checking your watch: 5:35am, you let out a yawn while rubbing your eyes and stretching your back, feeling a little better after hearing your vertebrae pop.

“Mornin’ sleepy head.” Steve greets, way too cheery for this time of morning, as he walks past you towards the back of the car. “Sleep okay?”

You narrow your eyes and go to flip him off, your usual sweet demeanor replaced with snark by having to wake so early, but before you can a very tired Eddie sidles up beside you and drops his bag with a similar sounding huff like the one just you made.

Steve chuckles at the sight before him while loading the gear into the back of the eight seater car he borrowed off his dad.

“Why are we leaving this early?” Eddie’s voice takes on a small groan at the end, a small shiver wracks his body at the chill of the morning air. “It’s unnatural.”

You let out a snort and lean your head on his shoulder, his arm instinctively coming to wrap around you, huddling close for warmth.

“Hey blame Nance,” Steve raises his hands in defence, moving over to grab yours and Eddie’s bags. “I was happy to leave at around 8.” He shrugs.

“Still too early.” You mumble causing Eddie to let out a small amused huff. “Speaking of Nance, why isn’t she here helping pack the car?”

“She’s picking up Robin,” Steve’s voice comes out a little muffled, his head buried in the boot mentally checking stuff off his list. “And to be fair neither of you are helping pack the car.” He throws a amused glare at you and Eddie.

“Be honest, Steve, do you really want us,” Eddie gestures between you both, “packing the car? Do you want another linen closet incident?”

Steve rolls his eyes at the memory of asking you both to help him clean for a party when all you did was shove everything, and he means everything, into the tiny hallway linen closet. Later that night when someone asked for a throw blanket and Steve went to retrieve one all that was heard was a small yelp followed by a comically loud crashing sound.

“Yeah, never again thanks,” Steve scoffs moving to start packing the blankets. “I don’t think these will fit in the back if I’m gonna put the girls stuff here,” Steve speaks aloud but not to anyone in particular. “Might just shove them over on the back seat.”

“Put them in the middle row,” You stop him as he walks towards the side door, “I like sitting all the way in the back,” You explain seeing the look of confusion on his face, “it’s nice and cosy.” With a shrug Steve moves to place the pillows and blankets in the middle row per your request.

“Are you sitting in the back too?” Steve briefly glances towards Eddie as he moves to grab a cooler of drinks to put on the floor behind the drivers seat.

“Yeah, why not?” Eddie lifts his shoulder in a half shrug.

“Wow, don’t sound so enthused.” You grumble but still tilt your lips up in a small smile.

“I would normally do a little dance but I’m too tired, Princess.” He nudges your shoulder with his and you turn your head hoping to hide the blush.

Princess. It’s a recent nickname. One that has you hiding behind your hair like a giddy school girl. You’re used to nicknames from Eddie, you’re like 98% sure he hasn’t said your actual name since meeting you. But this one just hits different.

Before a retort can leave your mouth a car pulls down the driveway and parks beside Eddies near the garage. Out stepping a fully awake Nancy, a pep in her step as she makes her way around her car to grab her stuff out the back, followed by a tired Robin, hair askew, shirt inside out and backwards and a travel mug that looks suspiciously like one of Nancy’s.

Those two have been dancing around each other for a year now, they’re pretty much already dating except for the label and of course the acknowledgment that they do in fact like each other. Steve constantly tries to meddle, he brings it up with Robin whenever Nancy gets up to grab a drink from the kitchen or something but Robin shuts him down, he lets out a grumble about ‘clueless idiots’ as he watches the girls share googly eyes at each other.

Not that Steve has the right to play match maker. You’ve noticed he has the exact same chemistry with Eddie and yet he refuses to acknowledge it. Taking on the same defensive attitude as Robin when someone brings it up.

Eddie is a question mark wrapped in leather and denim. He’s good at hiding his true feelings behind the brick wall he built up in high school and no matter how hard you try to chip away at it you can’t pull it down completely.

That’s not to say he’s closed off entirely. In a lot of ways he wears his emotions on his sleeve. Especially when he’s playing music, either practicing on his bed or letting loose on stage, that’s the closest you’ve come to seeing how passionate and expressive he can be.

“Morning everybody,” Nancy greets, adjusting the strap of her messenger bag on her shoulder. “Ready for a fun weekend?”

A series of groans from you, Eddie and Robin is her only response as she lets out a chuckle and moves to the back of the car to throw in her bags.

“Nice mug, Buckley.” You tease as she walks over, she narrows her eyes and shoves herself between you and Eddie, the latter letting out a displeased sound of protest, a small smug smile tugs at her lips at her little payback.

“Nancy made me coffee,” she gives you a look that tells you to shut the fuck up it’s too early for this. You playfully headbutt her shoulder, you can tease her later at the campsite.

Steve and Nancy finished packing the car while the three of you engaged in tired conversation, interspersed with yawning and sniffling from the cold.

Finally at 6:05am it was time to hit the road.

Nancy sat in the passenger side beside Steve, already holding a map and a notebook of the handwritten directions as a back up because maps can be confusing. Robin took the centre row, squeezing in between the door and the blankets, she undoes a bit of Steve’s hard work as she unfolds a blanket and tucks herself in, falling asleep almost instantly. Now that’s impressive.

You and Eddie take the back, him against the far left and you to the far right. In the middle sits a plastic bag of snacks Eddie bought the night before at the gas station. You try not to over think the fact that most of the snacks are your favourites. Purely coincidental you’re sure.

You let out a small sigh as you get comfortable, surprised by how there’s more space back here then you thought. As Steve pulls away from his house Nancy turns on the radio, it takes her a few minutes to find one that’s not playing the morning news and finally lands on a station playing pop, much to Eddie’s displeasure.

☆••☆••☆••☆••☆••☆••☆••☆

An hour into the drive and you feel your eyes start to droop, too early to hold a proper conversation with Eddie you both just sat in comfortable silence.

Eddie takes notice of your head falling forward and snapping back when it wakes you up and let’s out a silent laugh, as much as he finds the display adorable he can’t help but want to help you.

He moves the bag of half eaten snacks to floor and reaches over to the middle row to grab a blanket and pillow, mindful not to wake Robin, she’s like a slumbering dragon and he does not want to deal with the wrath.

“Hey, sleeping beauty,” he gently taps your shoulder, not wanting to scare you but you still jump in your seat anyway, head instantly turning toward him eyes wide and alarmed. “Easy girl, just me,” his voice smooth but you take note of the playful smirk.

Smart ass.

“Can I help you?” You sass back, not able to stop the smile twitching of your lips at his amused expression.

“You wanna rest on my lap?” He asks, dangling the blanket and pillow between you to emphasise his question.

“Huh?” You’re genuinely unable to understand the question, your brain slow and foggy from fatigue.

Eddie feels a warmth spread through his chest from seeing that empty look in your eyes, clearing his throat to try and distract himself from where his train of thought is going he tries asking again but slower.

“You’re falling asleep, babe,” he states the obvious, voice low as to not gain the attention from the other passengers. “If you fall asleep in that position you’re gonna hurt your neck so why not lay your head on my lap? I guarantee it’ll be more comfortable.”

Babe is a never before used nickname, that and the slow tone of voice he’s using is having a strange effect on your tired brain. Unable to form a coherent sentence you just nod.

Eddie takes a second to compose himself, wanting nothing more then to pull you onto his lap and make you ride him in front of all your shared friends. He’s shocked at how quickly you’ve managed to turn him on, he’s seen you get like this many times before and has always managed to contain himself, he blames the early morning.

“Come ‘ere, baby,” his voice soft and sweet as he leans over to unclick your seatbelt, falling easily into a personality he usually keeps reserved for the one night stands he pulls into the back of his van or in the alleyway behind the hideout.

You let Eddie gently manhandle you until you’re laying down, head on the pillow facing his stomach, a little surprised you can lay this way. Weirdly spacious car.

You’re already falling asleep by the time Eddie starts combing his fingers through your hair, humming something that sounds suspiciously like your favourite song. The overall feeling of security and warmth lulls you to sleep before you can start to overthink things.

☆••☆••☆••☆••☆••☆••☆••☆

Eddie feels the exact moment you fall asleep, the tension instantly leaving your body, your head feeling a little heavier on his lap. He continues to run his fingers through your hair allowing himself to indulge just a little bit.

The last few months have been difficult for him to say to the least. After the chaotic and traumatising events of the Upside Down he found himself clinging to you and the rest of the group.

You were a year beneath him but of course graduated before him. You were always kind and friendly but never went out of your way to befriend him. He doesn’t take that too personally, you never really went out of your way to befriend anyone.

You spent most days at school either at the library or outside, reading and drawing. You’ve always been content with you’re own company and he’s more sure now that if the events of the previous years hadn’t basically forced you all together you probably wouldn’t have friends.

Every time there’s a bump in the road he lets out a grimace and tries to keep you steady as not to wake you, but apart from a soft murmur here and there you’re completely out of it.

He take this opportunity to trace over your facial features, brushing the pad of his fingers lightly over any of the blemishes and imperfections you always try to cover up, he smiles as you subconsciously seek out his touch, moving your face closer to the palm of his hand. He takes note of a small scar on your forehead near your hairline, it’s an old scar one you most likely got fighting some interdimensional nightmare. He presses his thumb over it, feeling the small bump.

The distant chatter from the front seat pulls his attention from you momentarily. The conversation between Steve and Nancy too soft for him to hear but the sound of Steve’s voice is what grabbed his attention.

The reason he’s been having such a hard time lately is because he feels himself being pulled in two directions.

There’s you: his sweet, soft, shy girl, full of sass and innocence. It’s a strange combination but you make it work. He found himself falling easily for you, how could he not?

Then there’s Steve: his big, brave, boyish jock, full of sass and poor life choices. The thoughts of Steve kept him up at night. Not cause he was attracted to a guy, he’s known for sometime he’s bisexual, no it’s because he’s attracted to Steve.

Steve never outwardly made his life hell in high school, there was the looks of disgust, he’s pretty sure that’s just a reflex that all jocks have when looking at someone whose not of their standard though, there was the few times that Steve shoved passed him when walking down opposite directions of the corridor and of course there were times when he overheard Steve and his brainless drones laughing in his direction. But that was pretty tame compared to what others did. Steve eventually did apologise for everything and it was easy to forgive him seeing how much he has changed since high school.

The first few months were filled with denial, denial, denial.

Denial that King Steve was actually a decent guy.

Denial that Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington actually started treating him as his equal with genuine care and respect.

Denial that he was attracted to Steve, his new found friend.

He’s accepted it now, no point in denying it.

☆••☆••☆••☆••☆••☆••☆••☆

It’s been two hours since leaving Hawkins and there’s still another half hour to go.

Eddie fell asleep about twenty minutes after you, his hand buried in your hair as he rests his head on his other hand.

A particularly large bump in the road results in his head slipping off his hand and thwacking against the window.

He let’s out a small grunt as he gently tries to move the position his legs are in, they’re starting to ache a bit. Unfortunately moving his lower half shifts your head forward a bit until it’s laying directly over his crotch making him hyper aware of the predicament he finds himself in.

He gently reaches down and moves your head back onto the pillow and tries to think of something, anything else.

Unfortunately his brief dream was filled with the image of Steve’s head buried between your legs while he fucked his tight ass.

He subconsciously tightens his grip on your hair and pushes your head gently down, briefly helping the pressure. He runs his other hand over his face and rubs at his eyes trying to properly wake himself up, still trying to conjure up something unpleasant to help him out, much to his horror he feels you start to move.

☆••☆••☆••☆••☆••☆••☆••☆

Letting out a soft sigh of contentment, you slowly open your eyes only to be met with the material of Eddie’s Black Sabbath band tee. Directing your gaze further up north you can’t help but smile at how at ease Eddie looks while asleep.

His head tucked against his hand, a small curve to his lips that lets you know he either fell asleep smiling or is having a nice dream.

You move to get more comfortable, your shoulder starting to ache due to the long duration you’ve spent on your side, but you immediately stop when you hear a soft groan from above you.

As you move your head slightly you realise why; Eddie is hard. You bite your lip to hold in your own noises, not knowing how to go about this. You’re mind is still cloudy and you feel slightly guilty but you can’t help but nuzzle down more, making his hips grind up slightly and his breathing start to pick up. You blame the early morning start to your slight boldness.

You silently curse and feign sleep when Steve’s horrendous driving causes you to jostle against Eddie. You hear a thud followed by a groan, and if you weren’t faking sleep you’d probably laugh and sarcastically (although genuinely) offer to kiss it better. He shifts his legs causing your head to move, his whole body tenses up and you know he’s awake now.

You wait with baited breath for him to make a move, you know Eddie has a pervy side, you’ve noticed the dirty mags peaking out from under his bed and the flash of colourful ladies undergarments as Eddie quickly shoved them into his drawer out of sight. What you fail to notice is that they’re yours.

He didn’t technically steal them, you left them at his place when you slept over and he’s just never returned them.

You bite down on your bottom lip when you feel Eddie hand take on a tight grip in your hair, the action awakening something inside you that you’ve never felt, you risk a peak and see that Eddie’s eyes are scrunched up and firmly closed as he runs a hand down his face. In your hazy mind that’s the only sign you need.

Slowly as not to draw to much attention and startle Eddie you slightly move your head back, the hand rubbing his face goes still and you’re not entirely sure but it looks like he’s holding his breath.

You summon all your courage and reach up to gently press your hand against the undeniable bulge in his black sweatpants.

Eddie let’s out a startled hiss as his eyes snap down to you, he gives you a questioning look filled with warning and confusion but you can also see lust in those big brown eyes.

He gives a barely noticeable nod, and if you weren’t hyper aware of the situation you wouldn’t even see it.

Your confidence grows at his unspoken permission, you lean over and place a small experimental kiss on the bulge just firm enough that he can just feel it. He lets out the breath he was holding through his nose and loosens his grip in your hair just slightly.

He briefly looks up towards the front to make sure no one had caught on, doing a quick scan he sees Robin still dead to the world while Steve hums along to the radio, thumbs drumming a beat on the steering wheel and Nancy’s head buried in her makeshift notes, it’s almost time to go off road to the camp ground so she’s double checking.

When he’s satisfied no one is any wiser to the situation he lightly tugs on your hair before moving to massage your scalp a bit. A sign to continue.

You ever so slowly you grip the waistband of his pants and briefs, thankfully Eddie lifts his hips a little so you can pull down his sweats and release his cock, you’re rewarded with a quiet relieved groan.

This is the first time you’ve ever seen someone’s dick this close. You’re not a virgin but your first, and only, time was a quick disappointment full of regrets.

Eddie cock is impressive to say the least, thick and heavy, above average with a large vein going from the tip right to the base. You feel your mouth water and an increased urge to trace the vein with your tongue.

You’re brought out of your lust filled thoughts by Eddie pulling your head back, his expression mixed between hunger and frustration.

“Don’t tease me, Princess,” he voice is dark, though barely above a whisper you can still hear and feel the authority from it.

You clench your thighs together at his tone before leaning forward and taking the tip in your mouth, Eddie groans a little louder then before, but still quiet enough not to be heard, and grinds his hips up causing you to take in a little more of his cock.

He gives your hair another firm tug and you get the memo, you lean down and take as much of his cock that you possibly can without gagging, unfortunately having no practice you accidentally graze your teeth over the underside, the feeling startles Eddie and his hips snap forward making you gag.

You pull off suddenly with Eddie’s assistance, eyes watering but thankfully you don’t fall into a coughing fit. Steve and Nancy who are in a deep conversation about gas prices take no notice of the sounds coming from the back.

Eddie gives a small apologetic smile as he wipes the tears from your eyes but you notice the way his cock twitches when he brings his wet thumb to lips, his apologetic smile being replaced with something different, more… dark?

Eddie directs your mouth back to his cock using the tight hold he has in your hair, you obediently open and remember to cover your teeth with your lips the best you can. He slowly moves your head until he’s almost completely down your throat, you close your eyes and focus on your gag reflex as he pulls you half way off his cock before moving you down more forcefully.

You relax your throat more as he moves his other hand below your jaw and starts to take on a more powerful pace, you start to let out choked sounds that are thankfully drowned out by the music.

You spare a glance at Eddie, his bottom lip between his teeth, face red and breath coming out in harsh pants, but he doesn’t seem so remorseful as he tightens his grip and uses your throat like a fleshlight. He’s surprisingly more controlled vocally then you’ve imagined. Being a naturally loud person you assumed he’d have more trouble keeping his moans in.

Your head starts to empty of any coherent thoughts, you’re breathing through your nose but it still doesn’t feel like there’s enough air in your lungs but you can’t find it in yourself to panic because you trust Eddie. You know he’ll take care of you.

There’s spit and dribble all over your face and on his pants but it only seems to endear him as the sight makes him fuck harder and deeper down your throat.

“G-gonna cum,” his barely audible words are the only warning you receive before he’s pushing your head all the way down his cock until your nose touches his pubic bone.

You can feel his cock bulging in your throat, you squeeze your eyes shut and harshly grab at his thighs trying not to gag, thankfully it only lasts a few seconds before you feel his warm cum painting your throat.

Either he’s too fucked out to notice or just enjoys seeing you struggle, probably both, but his dick has blocked your airway and you can feel how hot your face is getting as your mind starts to going even more hazy.

You tap his stomach a few times to grab his attention and that seems to do the trick, he quickly pulls your head off his softening cock causing you to cough a little as you catch your breath.

Unfortunately this catches Nancy’s attention.

“Is everything alright?” Nancy’s soft voice startles you but luckily you’re completely hidden but the middle row, only Eddie is in view.

“Yeah,” you quickly try to clean your face using Eddie’s shirt, the man in question shooting you an amused glance, unable to see how you look without a mirror you sit up and rub your eyes hoping it looks more like you just woke up and not like you were just throat fucked, “jus’ got something in my throat.” You fake a yawn and Nancy seems to buy it.

“Do you need a drink?” She asks, ever the worrier, she’s leaning over the back and pulling a bottle of water out of the cooler before you even have a chance to answer her.

You reach over the middle aisle and grab the chilled bottle, sending her a thankful look, “Thanks, boss,” you grin at her playful eye roll and fall back against the seat.

You sneak a look over at Eddie who has his eyes trained out the window looking at scenery, a barely there smirk on his lips. He’s tucked himself away but there’s still a dark patch where your spit is yet to dry.

Being barely 8:30am you can’t find it in yourself to overthink what all this means right now, so you turn and look out the window as the car turns down a dirt road down to the campsite.

Both you and Eddie miss the harsh grip on the steering wheel and the dark look in Steve’s eyes as he glances at you both in the rear view mirror, having just witnessed most of what happened.

One thing’s for sure: this is going to be one interesting camping trip.

[cassifictional]

Sevika showing how much she missed fem reader 🥺

Cute request! I'll do a short drabble for this one. 600-ish words.

My request are semi-open, if you have any fun ideas feel free to leave me an ask and I might write something for it if I have the time and inspiration. Also I'm gonna assume requests are sfw unless specified otherwise!

It had only been two weeks since you had last seen her. Work took you to faraway places sometimes, often for much longer than you would prefer. A change of scenery from the dreary streets of Zaun was nice from time to time, but you couldn’t help but miss your girlfriend every second your thoughts weren’t occupied with something else. You were sure Sevika would have loved to experience many of the places you had visited, but alas. Silco needed her to stay. Zaun needed her to stay.

Quickly yet quietly, you entered the bar, which would be closing soon. Not a problem, you knew exactly where to find her. You only needed a minute to get her attention and to get her to come home with you to spend some much needed quality time together. Only a handful of people were still lingering around the table at which Sevika sat, playing what seemed like an amicable, casual game of cards as a way to wrap things up for the night. You didn’t even have to call her by her name for her to notice you standing by the side of the table this time.

Grey eyes looked up at you, glistening in the dim lights on the ceiling of the place you had gotten so familiar with because of her. You didn’t even really like bars before you met her. Now it felt like a second home whenever she would let you sit on her lap all night as she played.

“Alright, game’s over, everyone. Go home.” she said to her companions, only making eye contact with you. They obeyed without hesitation, knowing that being buddies with Sevika meant listening to her at all times, period.

As Sevika’s companions quietly made their way outside, it was only you and her left in the room. And the barman, who was instructed to get you your favorite drink with little more than a hand gesture from Sevika. And then get the fuck out.

“Took you long enough.” she said, the smile on her face revealing just how happy she was to see you. She patted her lap, shifting in her chair to make a more comfortable seat for you. “Come here.”

You happily made your way over to her and as you did, Sevika reached her arms out a bit as if to catch you in a hug. A gesture that was unusually soft by her standards, almost comically cutesy coming from her. You happily plopped down onto her lap, reveling in her warmth and her scent, both of which you had missed so much. You never quite realized just how much you had missed her until you were back in her arms again.

“Missed you, babe.” she murmured, her face already buried in your neck as you felt her inhale your scent, much like you were also doing in the moment.

“Missed you too. So much.” you whispered back at her. “Every time.. I miss you so much.”

She continued to hold you tight to her body. Hugs like that were usually reserved for private moments in private places, but tonight turned out to be an exception.

“I’m..” she seemed to hesitate for a moment, as if she was unsure what to say.

“I’m glad you keep coming back.”

“Always.” you whispered.

Sevika pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head before maneuvering your body slightly so you were looking at her now.

“Now..” she said, the look in her eyes now a lot more seductive, “How about you finish your drink so we can go home and I can show you just how much I missed you?”

[mypoisonedvine]

Seeing Red | bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x actress!reader (part 5)

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4)

series summary: bucky used to brag that he didn’t have a celebrity crush, or really care about famous people at all, which is what made him the perfect person to start working for a celebrity like yourself.  except, of course, it’s just his luck that he’d fall for you.  

word count: 3.2k

warnings: more smut (we’re picking right up where we left off last chapter) including some shower shenanigans and lots of dirty talk, relationship conversations, mention of bucky’s military background, really that’s just it...

Maybe it had been hours in Bucky's arms, maybe it had been a lifetime.  You were floating on air, suspended in pleasure as he rocked your body against his, still fucking you even though he'd already come once and you'd come too many times to count.

"Bucky," you whined, back arching even though you figured you were too weak for that.  "Baby, please— s-so good, you're so good…"

Metal fingers pinching your nipple sent your body into overdrive, exhausted inner muscles clenching around him as you cried out.

When he leaned down and kissed you again, you were afraid that you'd be too out of it to kiss him back.  But thankfully you managed to reciprocate, grabbing the hair at the back of his neck to hold him close as you whimpered softly against his lips.

He pulled back just enough to look down at you with dark, half-lidded eyes.  "Fuck, I'm gonna come again," he moaned like he was just as shocked as you were.  

"Yes!" you encouraged feverishly.

"This perfect little pussy is gonna make me come again, baby, is that what you want?  Want me to put another load in this needy cunt?"

"God, yes," you sobbed, his words so perfectly balanced between sweet and filthy.

"Well, I'm gonna," he promised through his teeth.  "Fuck, I'm gonna give you everything, pretty girl, I'm so close."

You couldn't remember the exact words you used but you were definitely begging him for it, completely lost in your need and, apparently, totally lacking in shame.

That weak, broken, desperate moan as he came inside you for the second time in a night… you wanted to bottle it up and keep it for rainy days, and sunny days, and all the days you'd ever see because it was just absolutely fucking divine.

"Don't move," he demanded with a whisper, "fuck, don't move, please."

"Couldn't if I wanted to," you laughed quietly.  He started laughing too, but not so much a 'this is funny' laugh compared to a 'is this real?' laugh.

"Fuck," he breathed, "that was… I didn't know I could do that."

"We're all learning new things about ourselves and our body's capabilities tonight, trust me."

"I'm gonna attempt to pull out without my dick falling off, okay?"

You chuckled through your exhaustion.  "Fingers crossed!"

You couldn't decide which was more lewd: the way it felt, or the way it looked.  In credit to the first, you were confident that even through the numbness that had begun to spread through your body, you still managed to feel every detail of his cock against the spongy ridges of your channel as it slid out of you, followed (of course) by the warm, slow ooze of come dripping down onto your sheets.  As for the second, well, his cock looked pretty glorious as it bounced back up against his abs, incredibly still hard but certainly starting to soften, glistening with your slick and his come and looking so lovely that you were compelled to sit up and lick it clean.  You would've if you weren't (1) so exhausted that you were sure you'd never sit up ever again, and (2) confident that any more stimulation to Bucky's poor cock would just be painful for him.

"Jesus fuck," he sighed as he watched his come leak out of your abused, swollen hole, admiring his handiwork; you giggled from both the odd feeling of his gaze on you like this and the comical way his swearing had deteriorated over the course of the night into half-assed blasphemy.

He fell down beside you on the bed, looking up at the ceiling before glancing to you with a smirk that was clearly tired but still plenty smug.  “God, I haven’t come twice in a row like that since… I don’t know if I’ve ever done that before, actually,” he laughed.

“I know for a fact I’ve never come that many times in a row,” you giggled.

"I uh… I need a shower.  And a year-long nap," he announced with a deep sigh.

"Use mine," you offered.  "I'll join you in a minute if you can promise to keep your hands to yourself."

"I don't know about that," he chuckled, "but I can definitely promise to keep my dick to myself."

"That'll do," you smiled as you watched him stretch and get up, grabbing his discarded boxers before slipping into your bathroom.

You took another deep breath and fought against the giddy smile that refused to leave your face.  Though you knew you had no right to be so happy over something as silly and frivolous as a guy, you let yourself get excited about this guy.  This guy who had made you feel safe when you thought you never would again.  This guy who had been a friend to you when it seemed like everyone else just wanted to get close to an alleged celebrity.  This guy who had already given it to you better than anybody ever had only to do it again without even stopping.

As likely as it was that your infatuation with him was preventing you from seeing all the flaws that every person and relationship were bound to have, it was hard not to think that this guy was everything you’d been waiting for.  Now all you had to do was try not to fuck it up.

//

Bucky sighed as he stepped into the stream of hot water, careful not to slip as his tired legs begged for more rest.  It was a hell of a workout, but then again, he'd never felt quite this good after a real workout.

It was all a little too good to be true; he was sort of assuming that he would wake up any minute now, in his own bed downstairs and with a mess in his boxers to take care of.  And he wasn't even mad about it, because who could be mad about a dream this wonderful?

If he was going to wake up soon, he was going to take advantage of the time he had left in his dream.  After a few moments alone, you slipped into the bathroom and opened the glass shower door, looking like everything he'd ever wanted with your messy hair and post-sex glow.

"Don't hog the hot water," you groaned as you pushed him aside, but you were smiling a little and he was perfectly content to just watch you from the corner anyways.

Well, not just watching; of course he had to reach out and run his hands over your skin, feel the warmth of you pressed against his body as your eyes fluttered shut and your head fell back against his chest.  You hummed contentedly at his touch and the sound went straight to his cock, which swelled a bit where it was pressed against your hip.

You reached up and wrapped your hands around the back of his neck, his hands moving up to gently run over your breasts and stomach where the water was hitting.

He hesitantly ventured into kissing your neck before finally sliding his hand between your legs and grinning at the feeling of his own come leaking out of you.  You were so sensitive that you gasped and shivered just from that little touch, your little moans enough to drive him absolutely crazy (if he hadn't been already).

Two fingers slid into you easily; he decided to take credit for stretching you out so well, both of you sighing as he pushed in deeper.

"Bucky," you groaned, "can't… can't come again…"

"I'm just helping you wash all this come outta you, baby," he explained, though he was sure you heard the mischievousness in his tone.  "There's a lot… I filled you up real good, didn't I?"

You nodded and bit your lip, and he alternated between studying your face and looking down at his fingers slowly pulling out of you as the shower washed away his come and yours.

"I don't think this is all me," he whispered against your ear.  "I think you're getting wet again, princess…"

When you nodded again, your hips bucking slightly in his hand, he went ahead and brought his two slickened fingers to your swollen bud, drawing lazy circles around it as you moaned slowly.

"What're you getting wet for, huh?  Haven't you had enough?"

"Never get enough of you," you whimpered, as if you just magically knew the exact thing to say in that moment to make his cock twitch and his heart twist.  

"I'll be real gentle, honey, gonna take you there nice an' easy…" he trailed off, adding a bit more pressure but maintaining his relaxed pace.  You whimpered and writhed against him, your smooth skin sliding against his so easily with the water washing over both of you.  

He could feel your walls tightening around his fingers when he pushed inside again, smiling when you gasped and clutched his hair suddenly.  He figured you were sore, but he also figured you would stop him if he hurt you, so he just did his best to stay slow and sensitive as he found your swollen spot inside you and curled his fingers into it.  Your whispered curses were music to his ears; technically that would make your body his instrument, and that might be cliche but it wasn’t exactly untrue.

“Want a little more?” he asked below his breath, responding to your nod by rubbing your clit with his thumb.  Your back arched, and as beautiful as it was, it also caused your body to push away from his; he held you down with his free arm to avoid spending even a moment without you against him.

“C-close,” you stuttered, and he hoped the little chuckle he let out didn’t sound too condescending; just shocked, like he intended it,

“I thought you couldn’t come again,” he remembered, fighting his smirk to kiss your neck gently.

“I thought so too,” you sighed, your hips rocking against his hand as your breathing picked up.  “Fuck, don’t stop…”

It was subtle, but he felt you shudder and shake in his grasp, a new wave of warmth soaking his fingers.  He was careful not to let the water wash your come away as he brought the soaked fingers to his lips, eagerly tasting you as you watched him with heavy eyes.  “Want a taste?” he offered, but when you went for his fingers he kissed you instead, revelling in the little hum of satisfaction you released when you tasted yourself on his tongue.

It was you that pulled him closer and deepened the kiss further, weaving your fingers into his hair and moaning a little when he grabbed your waist.

“I should’ve known showering with you wasn’t going to actually be a productive bathing experience,” you laughed when you pulled back, noticeably staring at the way water droplets trickled down his chest.  

“Fine, I’ll let you actually do your whole shower thing,” he relented, “as long as I can borrow your shampoo.”

“Sure, but you’re gonna smell fruity and delicious afterwards,” you warned.

He chuckled a little as he leaned back into the stream of hot water to wet his hair.  “Don’t I already?”

//

You’d never had such an easy time falling asleep in someone’s arms, honestly.  It was so comfortable that you were actually a bit confused when you woke up alone, already pampered by the idea of spending the morning cuddled up with him.  Thankfully, with him living here most days, he was never too far off; you heard movement downstairs and realized he was probably making breakfast for himself since he was one of those natural early risers while you had dozed until— you glanced at the clock to check— 9:53, later than usual for a night you hadn’t been drinking.

Well, Bucky had taken the empty beer bottles from your nightstand for you, but you still remembered that you’d been drinking a little.  Yet certainly most of one beer couldn’t be to blame for you making a move on him; no, that was a purely sober idea, something you’d wanted to do for quite some time, in fact.

Perhaps it was a little misguided.  Maybe it was technically an inappropriate workplace relationship since you were, in a sense, his boss.  But, of every impulsive decision you’d ever made it was definitely your personal favorite.

Hopping up and slipping on a little flowy robe just to not be naked anymore, you rushed downstairs and found Bucky in the kitchen flipping a pancake in the pan.  He glanced back at you, looking a little conflicted, before you observed the plate of assorted fruit waiting for you on the bar.

“Wow, pancakes,” you nodded.

“And fruit,” he reminded you, like you weren’t already munching on a slice of a clementine.  “So it’s healthy.”

“Is this a taste of the ‘Bucky Barnes Boyfriend Experience’?” you chuckled, picking up a grape to eat next.  “Cause so far I’m a fan.”

Bucky’s head whipped around to look back at you, and your face got warm as you realized you'd been assuming that this was a 'getting together' sort of rendezvous and not just a one-night stand.  And maybe that wasn't a fair assumption, based on the way he was blinking back at you in shock.  “Orrrr maybe this is just the ‘Me Misinterpreting Things Experience’ and you just like to use some culinary comfort to soften the blow of the ‘about last night’ talk.”

"No, no," he shook his head, sighing a bit as his expression softened.  “I guess I kind of assumed you were going to regret it."

“Regret… last night?” you finished for him, thoroughly befuddled as you watched him flip the pancake onto a plate which he handed to you.

“Uh, yeah,” he scoffed, like it was obvious, before handing you the container of maple syrup.

“Why?”

“Well,” he shrugged, “‘cause it’s you, and it’s me.  You’re a movie star and I’m the guy who drives your car.  You were having a fun night, you got… caught up in the moment, and I was just in the right place at the right time.”

You took a moment to process that as you chewed your pancake, thankfully managing to swallow the bite before you burst out laughing.  “Oh my god, is that— is that really how you thought this was gonna go down?  After everything that happened last night?”

“Yeah, these aren’t morning-after pancakes, these are please-forgive-me pancakes,” he admitted as he poured another dollop of batter into the pan.  “Can’t you taste the difference?”

"Wait, wait,” you shook your head incredulously, “you thought I was gonna regret sleeping with you, and you still went through with it?"

He laughed a bit at that.  "You were grinding on me and sucking on my fingers.  You must think I'm a saint if you think I could resist that."

“And this was supposed to be your apology… for taking advantage of me…” you tried to reason aloud, still not totally understanding how he could ever question that you would want him.

He shrugged.  "I mean, I dunno… I was prepared to get fired today so you wouldn't have to see me around.  So I guess it was sort of a goodbye, too."

"Was it worth it?  I mean… was the sex worth losing your job?" you asked.  “Hypothetically.”

"Worth losing the paycheck?  Definitely,” he announced, quiet but confident.  “But worth not seeing you again?  No, I don't think so.  When you came down here I was just thinking about how I'd rather keep you as a friend than lose you as a lover."

"That's… poetic," you mumbled.  "Luckily, you don't have to choose.  I fully intend on keeping you around.  If you don't mind."

"Why would I possibly mind that?" he laughed.

“I guess I just feel guilty because if the press finds out you’re my boyfriend, they’ll be all over you.  Your past, your family, any ex-girlfriends…”

His lack of a response made you anxious again.

“Wait, I’m sorry, this conversation is sort of confusing: are you my boyfriend?” you asked nervously.  He laughed, flipping the pancake before looking back at you with a smirk.

“If you want me to be.”

“Yeah,” you answered, perhaps a bit too eagerly, “I do.  If you’re… into that.”

“I am,” he assured.  

“Think of it like a promotion!” you offered with a grin.

“Trust me, I do,” he nodded.  “Does this position come with a raise?”

“No, but a lot more benefits,” you winked.  “And, unfortunately, a lot more baggage.”

“Right, the press.  You really think they’re gonna care?” he raised an eyebrow.

You laughed sympathetically at his innocence.  “Oh my god, you have no idea.  From now on, when we leave the house it’s strictly business��� anything else and they’ll be on you like white on rice.”

“Well then we’re not gonna be leaving the house much,” he snickered, “because now that I’ve got my hands on you once, I’m not sure I’ll be able to stay away.”

You smiled as he started to lean over the bar to kiss you, but when he moved in just close enough you held up a piece of fruit in front of your mouth, which he took a bite out of instead.  “Slow your roll, Romeo, I’m trying to have an important conversation and you’re trying to distract me.”

“Was it that obvious?” he frowned, sliding another golden brown pancake onto a plate for himself and turning off the stove.

“What I’m trying to tell you is that this is serious stuff.  It’s not too hard to keep it a secret for a while but… it’s just a disclaimer before you agree to anything.”

“Do you give all your potential boyfriends this talk, then?” he asked coyly.

“Well, since I got big I’ve really only dated one guy and he was even more famous than me so... no,” you answered awkwardly.

“Oh, right,” he nodded, getting a little more serious.  “What was it you said they were going to investigate, again?  My past, my family, my ex-girlfriends,” he remembered.

“Yup,” you nodded.  “And any, you know, criminal convictions or whatever.”

“Well, none of those, not much family, barely any ex-girlfriends,” he enumerated, “but a lot of past.”

You solemnly contemplated eating another grape, hoping you had managed to maintain some nonchalance.  “How bad are we talking?”

“Not bad, necessarily,” he mitigated, stopping mid-sentence to grab the pancake with his hand and eat it straight, “but, you know… military.  So not exactly good.”

“Didn’t blow up any orphanages, right?”

“No, not quite,” he laughed, “but I wasn’t a conscientious objector, either.”

“Okay, just keep in mind they’re going to scrutinize everything you ever were before you were my boyfriend,” you informed him.

“‘Your boyfriend’ is the most important thing I’ve ever been.”

The comment took you aback— mostly in a good way, but you weren’t prepared for him to get sentimental like that.  You especially weren’t prepared for the effect it would have on you.  So you, being you, deflected it with a sudden topic change and a raunchy joke.

“Jeez, are you a sadist or something?  ‘Cause I can’t hardly sit in this chair properly, I’m so sore,” you winced.  

“That,” he announced with a grin, pointing at you with the half-eaten pancake in his hand for emphasis, “is the ‘Bucky Barnes Boyfriend Experience.’”

[popculturebuffet]

Pirate Month: The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A (Disapointing) Veggietales Movie Review (Comission for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy pirates and welcome back to Pirate Month. I'm Jake, I review media I like, am paid for and ocasionally yell into the void about HBO Max and probably will again.

Today though I continue pirate month , my month long look at pirate media because why not. And today we take another stab with my friend, producer and guy who just sent me a shit ton of books entirely out of the kindness of his heart, Kev.

This isn't the first time it's been time for VeggieTales on this blog either as i've looked at both The Christmas Star aka...

As well as did an arson and went to jail. It.. it was a trip. It's sequel was okay, not nearly as loveably bonkers, but it still had Mr. Nezzer trying to tear down the church like the villian in an 80's kids movie, so.. there's that.

Despite the specials being bonkers it was still nice to go back to a franchise from my childhood, as I do geninely love veggietales and feel it has a place in the world, especailly as it promotes the GOOD of christianity (helping people, being a better person, generally not being a dick) instead of hateful regressive nonsense like homophobia, staying married even if it's miserable, etc. all.

So naturally I was fine with going back there for this flim. It helps the song the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything, which the movie naturally launches from (Along with the three having shown up in the previous movie, Jonah, which i'm now obligatd to cover at some point) is an all time banger.

And honestly given Larry is one of the main character and Pa Grape and Lunt are often the best parts of the things their in, it's not a huge shock this concept would get a movie even without them anchoring the wrap around for Jonah I forgot existed. So I was always curious about this film even if i'd never seen it. As for my reactoin well

Yeah The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A Veggie Tales Movie: A Rope of Sand isn't great. Is it the WORST thing i've covered? Nope, not even by a wide margin. I'v ehad to deal with the racist, sexist , egotist known as Billy Butcher (Comics version, havne't seen prime, you Boys TV fans can relax), seen wolverine get shot in the nuts, seen gonzo get horny over a cgi chicken, and seen a dog transphobically vomit for 37 seconds straight. An agressively weak VeggieTales film is not going to be the thing that breaks me.

That said it was still a chore to get through. Even accounting for not being in the best headspace this week, every time I sat down to watch part of it drug on. For a film starring a bunch of vegtables who go back in time it's painfully boring.

In theory you COULD blame this on production: the idea was had at a bad time for Big Idea as they brocoli, celery gotta .. declare bankrputcy. Yeah it's always jarring to find out something key to your childhood, and sometimes your present day has something really dark attached, like when I watched the show SNapped and found out someone shot her husband in front of Charles Schultz Studio. You just.. never expect that sort of thing you know? So the film was planned for DTV till Universal swooped in and gave it distribution to a resounding

But really this is a company that has made TONS of great DTV films and half hours, has experince with these characters, and had already MADE one film. While it wasn't the film they originally wanted to make, execs rejected a bob and larry origin story ...

But they didn't half ass it, they put their heart into this film and into making it work and clearly took it seriously. It just.. didn't turn out good.

What really makes the film just not work for me is the story. The idea, despite being incredibly weird, is intresting and fun for an adventure movie: In this film our Pirates Who Don't Do Anything start as three cabin boys at a pirate dinner theater: Elliot (Larry) a timid but kind cucumber whose afraid of everything, Sedwick(Mr. Lunt), a selfish squash whose genius but also really lazy and self serving, and our lead George (Pa Grape) , a pushover whose own family has lost all respect for him. Things take a turn when they meet a blind seer foreshadowing the films plot.

Who is this guy? Is he god? A mutant with prophecy powers? The French Alps? We don't know> He's just sorta there, as the king sent him to test them and such. We'll get to him.

So our three heroes interpret the prohecy and trying out for the show, as George knows the lines and has the talent for it and Elliot was planning too anyway while Sedwick figures why not. And in typical stock comedy film fashion, it goes horribly wrong, their fired for the damages and left held low. I'm not against this sort of plot device as some truly great stories start this way, it just feels lazy here especially when the relization hit that a LOT of animated films use this, and as such I doubt any kid seeing this even fairly young ones woudln't of seen this done before and better. And as for me as a grown ass man whose seen this hundreds of times at this point..

So it dosen't start the film on the best foot. We go from an intro with a thrilling pirate adventure.. to three guys working at a dinner theater without that contrast really being as funny as it should be.

It picks up slightly when the main plot, which the film opens with, gets going: It's the golden age of piracy and Princess Elosie (A new character who WAS going to be Lara carrot, but it was decided she coudln't carry a film and I side with the creators on this one), and her butler Willory played by archibald esparigus, hide from Robert the Terrible, a pirate played expertly by Cam Clarke as he takes her brother. Robert plans to ransom the royal twosome to set their father up for bomb when he gets back from being away and with him away and without him they have no hope so they use his steampunk sphere, the helpseeker to find someone to help. Naturally it finds our three heroes who find a canoe, you know there's people who can teach you to buy one of those right fells and get stuck in the past. You likely can guess the drill from here: Our heroes decide to pretend to be heroes, Elliot convinces the others because he thinks it'll be easy and thus our quest begins..

With that we can talk about one of the films main problems: The characters feel really flat outside of Geroge. George, while not the DEEPEST character is still utterly likeable, a guy who lets people push him around way too much, has no self esteem, and whose family dosen't care about him. He's beaten down by life and his tendency to do what others tell him. While that isn't normal how he gets out of it and what he learns from it is fairly intresting: over the film he becomes a surrogate father to eloise, being the only one to take her belief in them seriously, and slowly but surely wanting to help her instead of just do what's easy, best shown durin ga montage played to the awful Newsboys Song "Yo Ho Hero", where he starts helping her. George slowly grows from a spineless.. er seedless wimp, to a hero, going out of his way to make sure the quest continues despite his allies, and later getting a hell of a moment when our heroes have to set out after eloise, Sedwick has left and the orb starts blinking, possibly meanin ga way home. As he puts it perfectly, he realizes why his kids don't respect him : he hasn't given them anything to respect. He hasn't tried to win it.. and if he's going to go back, if he can, he's going to be someone they can look up to, the kind of man who does the right thing even when it's far from easy and may get him killed. A hero.

The problem.. is the other two leads aren't great and the rest of the characters are pretty stock: Eloise is the optimist child who warms a characters heart, and a fairly subdued version, Archibald is a skeptic, Robert is a big bad guy who weirdly has limbs which somehow works despite this being veggitates because they look badass, Yuri Lowenthall as the Prince is the hostage... just basic characters. If this was JUST a special and not a movie, dtv or theatrical, i'd be fine with it. For an hour of story that wouldnt' be bad. But for 80 minutes of film, it's weak and Big IDea CAN do better. They have done deeper stories with Jonah, Esther The Girl Who Would Be King, Rack Shack and Benny, and laugh fests via the various shorts and action with the larry boy duology. The story is just too weak to have the characters this thin and the laughs are shockingly sparse. The story just isn't silly enough to be fun and isn't deep or epic enough to be thrilling.

As for those leads, Elliot is just kinda.. there. It does lead to him facing down a mecha sea monster with a sword. .but otherwise while he gets a moment or two (LIke him longingly starring back when Sedwick leaves the party, partly wanting to go.. but knowing i'ts not the right thing), but is mostly just.. there to move the plot along or mention a fear is on his list. Larry.. deserves better. As for Sedwick...

Sedwick is just obnoxious for the first 2/3 of the movie. He's lazy (which I can be sometimes), selfish, and cosntantly wants to bail. And while yeah he didn't ask for this adventure, a child is asking for his help.. and his response is to keep wanting to buck it or whine about his best friend you know, not doing that. I also don't get the sense he's REALLY geroge's friend as he gladly abuses the fact George is a pushover for his own benfit, earlier asking for barbeque sauce Sedwicks Girlfriend had asked for because it's too far for his "labor saving device", and it's telling I wans't remotely sad or conflicted when he left. And it's not great that I was rooting for the pile of sentient Cheeto's with teeth to murder him

Yeah that happens and it's one of the few jokes I liked in the film.

The two being such weak characters , as well as everyone else means I don't reallyc are what happens half the time. I only care about George because I LIKE him, the rest.. not so much. It dosen't help the action isn't funny or thrilling it's just.. there> There's no real sense of fun or adventure.. and this is a film that has a rock monster.. and a whole song about it at the end! I shoudln't be praying for death but death won't come!

It dosen't help the title.. has nothing to do with the premise. No really: our heroes are called that by a jerk and take it on as a way to gain Archibald I Forgot HIs Character Names trust, but they never sing the song or really play into the bit. And I get they can't be JUST the bit, that's fair: you can't have a character just be one thing and expect them to headline. It's why Shorsey fleshed the title character, who on letterkenny just showed up once in a while to be a dick and graphically talk about how he banged Jonsey and Riley's moms, out considerably giving him a backstory via his foster family, some friends he actualyl cares about and isn't a complete dick to, and a true love of hockey beyond being a vehicle for him to make your mom jokes. Here they just slapped a character trait on each of them, took out the part that actually made the title make sense or any sense of irony from that, and did it. It might of been better if they just cut out the present day stuff and had them as actual pirates who don't do anything with similar character arcs. George is the only character I feel would've suffered, but he could still have a family and such. Being a pirate dosen't mean you can't have kids. It just means you may not see them often and he dosen't do anything, so why would he have been that far up to this movie.

Finally we have the finale

It's a mess, slow, plodding an dthey fight robert THREE TIMES. I'm not kidding he gets beat THREE times: first when George decides to do something and drops a chandelear on him, which is awesome, then again when their chased, and about to die while in a rowboat

Enter the king who saves them. And the creators apparently tried to justify this on dvd commentary with "Well it's a bible parable"

Like.. out of all the VeggieTales projects this one has the least to do about jesus. I get the King's a metaphor for god or something, but ti dosen't work. he's a guy. He's not our lord and savior. Elloise is not Lady Jesus. I'd watch a series named Lady Jesus, someone greenlight that yesterday, but that's not the point. The point is this makes no sense and is a cheap way for them to KINDA beat robert.. but not really because as our heroes get star wars medals and a wizard of oz message about how good they are, they get sent home.. with robert hitching a ride.

So we get a THIRD climax, as our heroes have to fight Robert at the dinner theater. And while I do feel this is necessary, as our heroes need to win the day in front of everybody and get their jobs back, though weirdly refuse a promotion, it dosen't feel like really a proper climax. They just... drop a canoe on robert and send him home. There's no real tension or anything. Our heroes win, the helpseeker beeps again setting up a sequel

And we're out with a fun parody of Rock Lobster, Rock Monster. By the way this film had rock monsters. I liked them but didn't have much to say about them.

Overall this flim is just.. not great. And not even in a memorable way. It's just kinda there and you'll forget it not long after you see it. It's not really worth checking out, isn't streaming anywhere, and isn't worth your time. But thank you for taking the time to read this, feel free to dm me if you'd like to comission a review yourself, and i'll see you next time.