#i'm just gonna cry myself to sleep now

[thedyingwriter]

I need chris to have a Rory Gilmore arc. What I mean by that is, I want him to realise that his grandparents are totally using his fued with his father to have a 'redo' of raising a son, the way they couldn't have with Eddie. I need him to get super frustrated and call Eddie or even Buck to come rescue him.

[vcrnons]

i'm completely normal about him.

[shaottzang]

why I feel like I shouldn't be seeing this..

photos taken from x.com

[byanyan]

rolls around on the floor........ so anyway, i failed my attempt to fix my sleep schedule... now i'm just gonna try waking up a bit earlier every day until i feel at least somewhat like a human being ashjfgds

[sherlock-is-ace]

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[fisheito]

Imagine you have to set up yakumo's enclosure for the next couple months. How do you set it up and what do you put in there?

oh NO.! THE PROPPHECY HAS BEenm FUFILLED

i am standing in my room, leggies rooted to the floor. i am in shock .frozen and i have no idea how to proceed. there is a perpetual pathetically sobbing serpent under my blankie.

[thedyingwriter]

somethings that i needed to get out regarding today's episode:

9-1-1 live airs in the US around 7 am Friday in my country and i get to watch it at 10:30 am on disney hotstar.

I couldn't wait so i was awake all night and was literally on twt since 6:30 am to get some clips.

that's where i find out that bucktommy break up.

i have been devastated all day. i have cried multiple times and i have literally lost count atp. it hurts like an actual breakup and i have absolutely no one irl to share this grief with.

the Abby being the ex-fiance wasn't even a major issue. i have been seen it done so well in so many fics.

Josh's speech was so beautiful and important but then to pull a breakup like that makes no fucking sense.

after what we saw in 8x5 breaking them made absolutely zero sense.

i was too overwhelmed so i tried to sleep and actually watched the entire episode around 11 am. I wanted to keep and open mind and analyse the episode.

twt is literally so toxic rn. I'm not even opening it.

after watching the entire episode i was even more confused as the breakup made zero sense.

we have had 8 seasons of character growth for buck, if they end up making him go back to casual relationships it just feels a complete wastage of 8 seasons of growth.

and from what we've seen in the past episodes the breakup was completely uncharacteristic to both buck and tommy.

it made no sense. why would tommy put so much effort if he knew it wouldn't last.

him constantly showing up for evan and talking about family just made zero sense for him to break up like that.

also it kinda felt weird to bring moving in together before saying i love yous.

and the way he said "the parking spot was too good to be true". this breakup doesn't feel good at all. he was obviously in pain and so was buck. this isn't doing any of them any good.

utter bullshit.

plus the "I'll see you around buck" broke me. like why the fuck would you do that to me and to buck.

it felt like someone put fucking alcohol all over a stab wound and then rubbed salt all over it.

LOW BLOW.

now coming to the post ep interviews which btw made it worse.

i was still under the impression that the way the breakup happened there was still hope for reconciliation because remember even tarlos went through breakups.

but then lou confirmed he might not be back and that this is it. specially that buck line. UGH.

and that #letbuckfuck interview with oliver really triggered me. I'm a bisexual woman and the reason i really loved buck's discovery of his sexuality was bcs Oliver was very determined in Givin a good bi rep.

but this doesn't feel that way. he could have said that he wants to see buck explore his sexuality more with both men and woman but the whole "girl, girl, guy. guy, girl, guy" montage was a very disturbing image.

it feels very stereotypical and biphobic.

it just hurts me so much. idk why i expected so much from a network tv show who has been queerbating for years.

i am gonna be watching this season just to see how they salvage buck's relationship and sexuality. it feels incomplete.

but if it goes in the buck 1.0 direction that's it for me.

i watch 911 as an escape from reality and if it goes so bad i am not continuing with the show.

it has already tested my limits and mental health enough.

also i need to point out that there are a lot of people who enjoy watching sports a lot more than they enjoy playing it. buck is a watcher. he would have loved seeing the Lakers match. just bcs he doesn't like to play doesn't mean he hates basketball.

a little extra side notes-

really excited for another buckley han kid. hope they don't ruin it. want to see how they deal with ppd this time.

also happy for eddie and really hoping he gets chris back soon.

ya'll need to understand how platonic friendship buddie is also so important rn then them getting together bcs eddie is def not ready to date.

if he starts dating he'll feel super guilty for putting his desire above chris all over again.

ALSO FOR PEOPLE IN THE BACK- EDMUNDO DIAZ IS CANON STRAIGHT.

[subtle-as-an-earthquake]

i miss them so much

[formulaheart]

hi guys twin size mattress by the front bottoms was written about sejanus and coriolanus and i wish things could've worked out in their favor

[ppulverse]

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[sergeantjessi]

I've just discovered that the unironically worst thing has happened to me: My very own private story collection, that I've written well over 10,000 words in, that I regularly re-read, that's filled with fitting pictures, has somehow been deleted. It definitely wasn't me, I'm so proud of this document, it has to be an error on Google Docs' side. I sadly can't remember the last time I opened the doc, and it wasn't in my trash. I just hope that the Google support can somehow recover the file. (Though I could've sworn I saw it some time ago, I'm sure it hasn't actually been deleted for over 30 days.)

Well what an absolute bummer to go to bed to! I just wanted to re-read my fave things I've written and fall asleep! This fucking sucks!

[selfnss]

// i was gonna write something today like i was gonna write literally anything just Something.... but my meds are changing and im not feeling too hot actually so i just. Didn't write anything at all i guess... getting brain zaps from coming off sertraline and also just not coping well with life atm i guess. sorry for the lack of content i'm just in a very weird place right now and i really don't know how to cope with it tbh

[daz4i]

girl i should kms just to spare the world from my brain. not bc it's hurting others or smth but bc it's literally so shitty that it actively makes the world worse

[thedyingwriter]

the way I'm so giddy and happy with just the stills from 8X6 you would think it was my boyfriend or something.

no my single ass is just too giddy over two beautiful beefy queer men who are a blushing mess with each other.

if they exchange i love yous or if there's an actual move in potential this ep (we're delusional) I'm gonna be insufferable.

my irl friends are already tired off how much i mention them in a day now I'll probably chew their ears off with this.

it's hard for me to make people understand how much i relate to buck when he's a 30 yr old white man and I'm a 21 yr old brown woman.

like you do not understand the impact evan buckley's character has on my life.

it's the representation. the neurodivergent traits (ik it's not confirmed but we all see it).

the bisexuality. I'm bi. he's bi. he is connected to me in a someway 😭😭

the need for being loved and trying your level best to give so much love while never receiving it back is too real.

seeing him finally being loved so beautifully by his boyfriend who evan never saw coming is what gives me hope that love exists and i might find it someday.

it's beautiful. they are the reason for my happiness this year.

[loardymacbee]

I've got an intake appointment tomorrow so I can maybe finally after a year of waiting (and three attempts by my health clinic to set me back up with the therapist who yelled at me for crocheting/stimming during our sessions) get some mental health care and my anxiety is going off the walls about it. 🙃

[bambi-nicky]

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