#i'm just going to. Gale of Waterdeep give me strength. I can do this. I just need the confidence of a random white man.

[choking-on-roses]

aaaaauuuooooghghhhhhh i just received an email with a sample contract for my new job starting in April and they used the word "smooth" twice and now I'm giggling thinking about that smooth shark meme and I honestly cannot believe this university is hiring me as a professor like wtf I'm a child, how am I supposed to show up every day and teach university students. this is insane

[linaselandbasil]

Vampire Kareshi ch.3

Ch.1, Ch.2, AO3 link.

University au, Bloodweave.

Have fun reading yall!

...

After a long shower, a careful trim of his beard, cutting of his nails and a few drops of cologne, he felt ready. He put the wizardly robes on, he was looking great, feeling giddy. But also he's going to throw up from the stress.

"Wyll I'm nervous." He finally turned to his friend after a few minutes of checking the time and waiting for an 'im here' text.

"But you want this, so get yourself together. " Wyll was looking at him pacing in the room, comfortably sitting on the couch with a can of some disgusting sugary death drink in hand.

"I do. I'm just not used to stuff like this! Do you think he's going to kiss me?"

"I don't know. I'm sure he will if you ask him to. But make sure you don't kiss him too soon, wait until the end of the night."

"Um, okay."

"And don't be afraid to flirt. He will probably be put off if you just take all the compliments and don't give any back, it would make it seem like you're not enjoying yourself."

"Understood." A notification sound rang aloud in the room. "It's time... Thank you for lending me your fancy cologne, it won't be forgotten!" He checks the message.

'I'll be there in a few minutes, cant wait to see you darling.'

Darling... DARLING!

'The feeling is mutual.'

"Are you not going to get going?" Wyll asked, confused as to why his friend was just watching the parking lot from the window.

"I'll teleport, it makes an impression!"

"You can do that?"

"Of course, what kind of wizard can't teleport? Oh look, he's there!" Wyll scampered to the window to finally see this mistery man.

"That... My father has a car like that, just who is this guy?"

"He said his father was Cazador. I suppose that should tell you something."

"Cazador Szarr? I'm not surprised he has a son I've never heard about, I'm sure he has a couple more he himself hasn't seen."

"I see. Well, it's lovely talking to you in our shared livingspace that I see you in every single day, but I think it's time for me to get going! Until next time!" He bowed and walked into a portal that was freshly opening up behind him.

In the ambiguous space between the two portals he found himself a little stuck. Oh no...

...

Astarion checked himself out in the selfie camera, carefully inspecting his visage. He'd do it in one of the many mirrors of Cazadors displacer but he cannot, for obvious reasons.

He was startled by a loud magic magicing right beside his car. He was not eager to get out and see what's up on account of him being in the possession of survival instincts, but when a hand with a pretty ring on it reached out, he became intrigued.

"A hand? Please?"

"Oh, Gale! It's you!"

"Can you help me out?" He grabbed the hand and began pulling. No use. In the meantime Wyll was watching all of this go down from the window and thought 'That's one hell of an impression you're making.' He pitied the both of them and reached into the portal to give Gale a good push. He has 9 strength, so he's not much better off than the other two but it did the trick!

Astarion could barely keep standing as the human fell into his arms. "So you're a wizard?"

"Yes, I am! An apprentice of Elminster and a graduate of the Wizarding academy of Waterdeep! I'm working on my second degree here in Baldur's gate." He straightened up, proud as could be. Suddenly as he was faced with the elf, all his nervousness faded into oblivion. Standing this close, Gale also noticed that the elf was not by much, but still a little shorter than him. He seemed taller on camera, not that Gale is complaining.

"I wouldn't have guessed you were a wizard! This is interesting to say the least! I must say, you look positively delectable, darling."

"So do you." Gale looked at the vampires outfit, which was hard to see as it was mostly black. What Gale didn't fail to notice was the way it glittered as it was illuminated by streetlights. "You look much more solemnly dressed, I must say I feel like a clown."

"Oh no, you'll be fine, I'm the weird one for dressing for the casket I was always destined for. I felt like I didn't wear this black jacket enough, so I put an outfit together just so I can wear it."

"I'd say it was a great idea, you look... Pretty." The wizard fiddled with the sun motifs embroidered into the robes of summer.

Astarion opened the door of the car and beckoned him in. He did so without a question. Astarion followed shortly after, starting the car once again. "Thank you. But let me warn you, this gift is particularly hard to open, the zipper on this top always gets stuck!" Astarions sharp gaze was solely fixed on the road ahead, but he can definitely tell Gale was flustered beyond belief.

"I- I see... "

"You're cute, I'll stop, I can see that you're a bit uncomfortable."

"No, continue! I'm just not in my element, not much experience you see!"

"I understand." He started the car, all he could think about was how much he he wished that Cazador didn't like this one.

...

To Gales surprise, he wasn't over or under dressed, he was perfect. That didn't make him feel any less strange though.

A couple of guests he spoke to seemed to eye him with interest, then with disappointment as they got nearer, he wondered what that was about. Maybe they didn't like that he seemed to already have a pair.

"Darling, care for a drink?" Astarion appeared right besides him, speak of the devil. He's quiet as a kitten, but Gale didn't know he was supposed to get spooked so he didn't.

"I've had plenty already, thanks." He looked around at the other guests, who were behaving very very improperly. He's not that kind of girl.

"Hmm, you know, these people are quite the company, but I'd prefer yours alone. Would you like to find us a dark corner to slink away into?" Astarions arm was wrapped around his, the human could hear the sequins of Astarions jacket scrape against his robes rough outer layer.

"Sounds like a fantastic idea, let's go!" Gale didn't like these sorts of gatherings, he was eager to be in peace at last. The pale elf pulled him in the direction of the hallway, which was clearly not to be explored by the attendees.

Servants rushed back and forth through it, paying the two of them no mind. It was a lot darker than the ballroom, giving the illusion of privacy, but believe me, someone's always watching in the Szarr Palace.

On the balcony, the air was cold, but refreshingly less stinky than inside.

"Finally, a moment to ourselves, I almost wish we didn't even come to the party, hiding away in the gardens would have been just as good." Astarion said, inching closer to Gale. "Wouldn't you agree?"

"I would." Gale did some wizardly magic hand gestures at the sky and gorgeous swirling colorful lights appeared. Gale leaned into the railing and noticed Astarion immediately got cozy very close to him, they were touching, it was to the wizards liking but it still got his pulse all the way up.

"Fascinating. Can you also make a bed appear?"

"I can, although maybe that would be untimely, considering this is our first date."

"...True. You want another date after this? I hadn't been on a second date in a long while." Gale was quite surprised to hear that.

"Why not? I thought people were begging for your attention."

The charming smile came back to the face of the pale elf. "You know what? Let's not talk about that! Tell me about yourself!"

He thought for a second, there's a lot to say. "Um, I have a tressym, her name is Tara."

"I love cats." Astarion got real cozy, putting an arm behind Gale and watching the magic show.

"Me too, don't call her that to her face though. It's like me calling you a mosquito man." Astarions smile dissapeared, he looked at his date.

"... What."

"Because, you know, vampire?"

"YOU- You knew?" He put some distance between the two of them so he cam properly glare at the human.

"Of course I knew! You're not quite as subtle as you think and I'm a wizard, I know a thing or two about the undead."

"That's fair, how silly of me... It's almost midnight, isn't it. Almost time." Something is weird about him all of a sudden. Gale senses some sort of magic in the air that doesn't belong to him.

"For what?" The vampire stood up, pulling Gale with him. "Astarion?"

"Follow me."

He almost ran. Briskly walking through the dark rooms, back through the ballroom, into a weirdly placed door and straight dark hallway. Gale was never an athlete, he was wheezing. Through all this, he barely noticed the magic getting stronger. At the end of this hallway there was a room, which Astarion barged into, pulling the wizard along.

"Astarion, it was about time you arrived." Said someone whom also appeared to be a vampire. "Come closer."

Astarion dragged him towards the man, which Gale tried to resist but couldn't. "Are you Cazador?"

"Oh, you recognize me? How fun!" He stood up, towering over the both of them. He looked like he smelled something foul, but quickly schooled his face.

"Must have noticed my blood, let me assure you, it's not tasty!"

Cazador furiously glared at Astarion.

"I swear, I didn't tell him!" His tone was calm and collected, but still. He was afraid.

"I figured it out myself, you guys are not exactly masters of deception." Gale was often jarringly confident in his.... Well, everything. He thought that since he was in on some kind of secret, the vampire would spare his life.

Well, it wouldn't be smart to attack a mage.....Cazador is not the smartest, or the prettiest or nicest, but he's not attacking Gale of Waterdeep. Not that he knows who Gale, is, he hadn't left his palace in decades. "You're dismissed."

Astarion then dragged him out of the room and back to the balcony, completely ignoring his questions. This is so weird.

...

"So you can safely teleport back to your dorm? If not, I promise I'll pay for the taxi, just don't do it drunk." The vampire leaned into the railing of the balcony.

"I'll manage. I didn't have that much!" Gale adjusted his hat and awkwardly looked at Astarion, who was being eaten alive in self loathing and dread. He didn't show that, only a tiny bit of worry slipped past his walls for the wellbeing of someone he was ready to let Cazador drain dry.

"I'll trust your judgment, I was never any good at magic." They stared at each other, waiting for the other to say something.

"Is it appropriate to kiss on the first date?" Asked Gale, trying not to sink into the tiles from shame.

Astarion was about to say 'first base is missionary' but held his tounge. "Do you want to?" He asked with a grin you'd want to wipe off of him with a well balanced bitch slap.

"I do."

Astarion stepped closer, got on his tippy toes and kissed him. On the mouth. He put his hands on Gales arms, keeping him in place. Gale was still as a statue though, there was no need to hold him.

When it was over, Gale had a goofy grin on his face and got very very very red. A portal opened behind him and he slowly backed into it, feeling the vampires hand gently slide off of his arm.

"Goodbye, I'll text you."

"See you, hopefully soon."

...

[cloudy-with-a-chance-of-chaos]

The Baldurian Journal

Written based on my playthroughs in Baldur's Gate 3 - lemme make myself known as a sort of vanilla player Feel free to ask me about it on my askbox or on the comment section. ⚠️ Long read ⚠️

"I don't know what day is today. Actually I've been on the road for quite a while now and didn't manage to keep track of everything. It's part of the reason I'm writing it down now; not to be a Doomsday messenger, but if it comes to transforming, I think I should leave something behind, to at least show I didn't cave in easily. I also don't know if my trouble remembering things is due to the worm inside my head or just the general falling, crashing, fighting sequelae. Who knows? Had trouble figuring out how to write too. And for some reason, maybe a lapse of insanity, I figured I'd ask the elf for advice. Suffice to say he rolled his eyes, spit out "From the beginning. Where else?", and left me talking alone, wandering to God knows where he goes at night... I don't like this guy. I mean... I'm not fond of him. I can see his appeal — the red piercing eyes everytime he looks at me and, honestly, he's a good talker, and I do not take (much) pride in sharing some points of view with him. But he's so completely and overbearingly annoying. So extremely obnoxious. A girl cannot consider saving a child at peace, it always makes him moody. If he's so bothered why join? Everyone else seems on board with how I've been managing things in order to SURVIVE, but Mr. Magistrate rolls his eyes and barks at me. Well sir, bite me. The past few days have been absolute pandemonium. And as my darling "friend" suggested, I'll start from the beginning. My name is Alyah. I was on the shipwreck days ago. Me and the githyanki Lae'zel rescued this mysterious cleric named Shadowheart before bringing the ship down. People have mentioned it "fell" but I know well enough I crashed it. When I woke up at the beach, the githyanki had vanished; I don't know if she's survived. Astarion was the first one I found, by chance, looking around the debris to figure what the hell happened. And as charming as he is, got me in a headlock with a dagger to my face. To be honest I was quite surprised to be taken down by this frail looking elf; pale, thin and with eyes rather deep in his skull as if he hasn't eaten in days. He has some strength to him, I'll give him that, but it only took me longer to get rid of his paws because of the element of surprise. He said he was on the ship. He saw me there... And once I managed to get away from his dagger he looked... Scared. This was the last time I had a heart-fluttering sympathy for him. Ever since he started following me around like a lost puppy, he's bullied every single person I've talked to. Shadowheart was not amused to have him make fun of her name. Neither was Gale, Gale of Waterdeep, when the local red-eyed pet put his wizarding credentials at stake. Though I kind of agree with Astarion, getting stuck on his own portal was NOT a very crediting move. And as I feared, Gale as also on the ship. And is also stuck with a tadpole in his brains. Although he sounds, looks and behaves way too chirper to someone on the death row...

•••

We tried walking around the forest to explore and look for more survivors, but none in sight. To be honest we stranded so much from the ship I don't think either of us has any idea of how to go back — subconsciously, I think we're all trying to get away as far as possible from those things, even if there's one of them inside each of us.

– Stop. – Astarion grabbed my arm – Listen.

– And what should we be listening to? – Shadowheart mumbled and got the ugliest frown from him.

Elf versus half-elf. I suppose he has better hearing.

His hand pulled me, and the whole group, to the back of a rock to listen. People yelling. Someone asking to open the gate. I found myself staring at the three of them hiding with me and realized I was just a foot in front of the group. Astarion nodded to me.

– Go ahead. – he whispered.

Of course. It's not him who's gonna get killed on day one.

It took me a step. Just a step a bit to the side to try and see what was going on and suddenly all of the Nine Hells broke loose.

Goblins.

A couple of them right behind us, forcing us into battle.

If I recall correctly, Gale electrocuted two of them. I might be wrong. Astarion and Shadowheart had an unbelievable teamwork, given that they act with nothing but despise for each other.

And me. I finally had my hands on my axe after what seemed too long.

Though we were caught by surprise, I thought it was a refreshing battle. A good one. No losses, no harm done (to me and my own), but a nice way to put my body at work again.

The gate that person (I still don't know and actually don't care for whom it was) was asking to be opened, opened. They were wearing the same uniforms as the guards up on the watching.

– Easy to open now, that their own people is mutilated. – I grumbled, avoiding slipping on the fresh blood on the grass and I can swear I heard someone chuckle behind me. I would bet on Astarion, because he had a smirk on that face when I looked behind, but so did Gale.

Maybe I'm funny.

– Should we go inside? – Shadowheart asked, dusting her clothes.

– I don't see why not. – Gale stopped by my side – Hopefully there'll be a nice resting spot for us if they're willing to take in some disheveled travelers like ourselves.

– What if they don't, dear?

– You've seen how quick she runs, we'll be out there in no time. – I could see Gale smiling and Astarion frowning again.

– Or maybe we'll get our hands dirty again... – I said, expecting a reaction. Gale didn't give me one. Shadowheart looked rather annoyed. But Astarion spinned his dagger on his fingers and gestured at me with it.

– Well, if worse comes to worse, at least blood looks good on you, darling.

It sounded enticing, but looked menacing. I wasn't his darling, not if I dragged him into another meaningless fight.

Pity.

I like meaningless fights.

– Well... – I pulled my axe and pointed at him; this is a temporary alliance and it will come the day him and I will end up at each other's throats. But for now... – On you too. Now let's go inside.