#i'm jsut thinking about things

[tapeworrmart]

I feel a sort of odd weight lifted now Halloween is over. Like don't get me wrong it's my fav time of the year but I think I was stressing myself out too much with having to draw Halloween specific things (and failing cuz I burnt myself out) and having to watch specific films (even tho I watch horror all yr round) and it's like. Wow I kinda put a lot of pressure on it lol. So glad it's done and I can go back to drawing and watching anything.

I think there's a lot to be said about the direction being an 'artist' online is going in that u feel like u have to 'contribute' to 'trends' and holidays etc even when, in my case, I draw spooky stuff all the time anyway. But it's that mad dash kind of feeling cuz everyone else is doing it. I like it when it's a sense of community and u wanna draw stuff because others you like are also drawing it. But u gotta want to do it and have the energy for it in the first place. So I felt bad that I burnt out so quick last month. But it's done!

[ichorblossoms]

lots of respect for ppl who don't post/talk abt certain oc things due to not wanting to spoil their own stuff, however i will not be doing that. by the time any of this stuff is finished it'll probably be different anyways

[silusvesuius]

i legit love when a character's gender is so integral to their personality (and perception obviously.) like so concrete that if genderbent their whole shtick would just be absolute dookie. anyways i'm just writing this text so i can talk in the tags (My beautiful safe haven)

this 14 minute song is soooooooooooo FYRE

[sunstonespark]

you have to understand that i have never seen a single episode of this show. i saw his design and read his wiki page and got a little obsessed.

[green-mountain-goose]

no but like i'm too stubborn to live without things being right

[aquilamage]

I haven’t been insane about Vi enough lately so time to pour out some random thoughts. free association thinking time:

been thinking about her “It's my savings. I wanna be rich, okay? So I can travel, eat well, buy cool stuff… So no one can say I can't do something!” And none of the following will really be insightful or revelatory because it’s just what she says here but. yeah! that’s vi! the main reason she’s so big on money is because she has to be to get what she wants out of life! it’s what lets her say no to people telling her what to do, and that’s important to her because she has no choice but to be independent and support herself. because no one else will. No one at the Hive had anything positive or supportive to say about her being an explorer until she went out and did it (to a ridiculously successful degree, too. I have to wonder if/how it might’ve differed if she was on a regular accomplishment level team. not the one leading them all to the mission to the Hive). she never had a choice not to be. I could also see that being a little part of why she starts out not really being a teamwork person. past experiences have taught her she can’t rely on anyone else for support. (does make me wonder about what if she’d met Chubee before leaving the Hive. obviously she still would’ve left, but how might even a bit of support have changed other things?)

I feel like we don’t talk about the fact that The Beemerang Is Also Knives enough

ok so at one point there was this post talking about people with money and how it affects their life like. if you can afford to get a nanny then you can only do the fun parts of childcare and when you stop feeling like taking care of the kid you can just hand them to someone else to take them away. and again likely not especially revelatory but I would guess that’s the kind of way queen bianca handled the bees as her daughters (she does care about them. absolutely. but not in the same hands-on attached way as we usually associate with parents) and thinking about how that kind of treatment would then apply to vi....hm

in universes where discussions of Gender and Pronouns etc happen I think she has moments where she gets frustrated with the everything of Being Referred To and Having Complicated Identity She Hasn’t Quite Figured Yet and is like. gender is cancelled how dare you refer to me. but especially anyone else calls me a girl ever i will be stabbing them

also I think a lot about what circumstances she finds out about gayness/Gender being things. and whether she’s thought about it in herself before and whether she’d been dismissed on it/told it wasn’t a thing etc. most circumstances she ends up angry about the finding out times because of (un)consicious internal conflict stuff

underground tavern stuff implies she was definitely doing quests and stuff for money with them precanon. would kill to know what specifically it was. but also the first talk with utter implies that she was doing stuff off that questboard as well which is even more intriguing. utter’s spy also implies you don’t have to be an explorer to do them but otherwise you would think you did I feel. so again very curious what was up there

[bluebellhairpin]

ngl I think I could do numbers as a cult leader.

[illdothehotvoice]

Thinking so much about Flowey and Papyrus right now ouuuuugh

[supermacaquecool]

Having one of those moments of "free my girl, she did all that, but you're annoying about her" bc of reading twt comments lol

[running-in-the-dark]

sooooo

I'm 32 now

when can I expect to finally grow out of getting obsessed with men people stuff? I'm waiting....

[goosemixtapes]

my new year’s resolution is to be more of a cunt in a transgender way. i’m so sick of feeling like i have to be impeccably polite and understanding because i’m the first trans person cissies have ever met. the next time someone misgenders me and goes “oh god oh fuck im so sorry im a terrible person do you want me to commit ritual suicide in front of you now” im saying yes

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Rewatching PQ2 to get timestamps for my one video and I just got to the part where Hams rescues SEES and fjasdfkljafljaf I had to pause it. TT0TT She’s like “Don’t worry guys they are with me! :D” And SEES is like “Huh???” and I’m like “She doesn’t know! She doesn’t know!

[carnival-core]

Tbh mental illness is funny in a rlly morbid way . At least like the ""Acceptable"" mental illnesses like depression and anxiety it's always like "This is 'talking and living like a person feels like being stabbed in the brain through the eye disease', where talking and living like a person feels like being stabbed in the brain through the eye . There is no cure but it can be managed if you just keep talking and living like a person in spite of the agonies. If you don't want to endure the agonies people who don't suffer with the condition will think you're lazy and people who do suffer with the condition will say you're just wallowing when you should be trying to improve all of the time ." Feels like some sort of ancient punishment but also like a riddle somehow

[arcadequeerz]

I remember when I was a kid, That people at some point were spamming the old smile dog image all over deviantart and being SO SCARED to get it sent to me that I made a journal telling people not to send me it HJKGFLKDSHG

[thornheartless]

*AGONISED SCREAMING*

[juvederm]

idek