#i'm having plague thoughts (BEWARE)
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Hi, would you like to maybeee elaborate and write more 'Griefdrey at the beginning on their twenties' headcanons? I am, in fact, not normal about this one imaginary vision and I am starved for the...
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GLADLY
grief leaves quite the impression on andrey because of the way he dresses. is that a skirt? 😏 LISTEN HERE BUDDY. RICH BOY. when you're dirt poor getting by on stolen clothes and stuff you found in the garbage, you have to make the most of what you got (only a half truth, because grief genuinely enjoys his DIY genderfuck adventures). grief takes the looks as judgement at first when what andrey is doing is in fact Looking ™️
i don't think grief indulges all that much in stuff like drugs and alcohol, especially when it comes to twyrine, but there's a time and a place for everything, and andrey is certainly well stocked. andrey will give some of his stuff away for the humble price of good company, and no it's not a date, dumbass. they'll climb up to a rooftop or a staircase (THE staircase perhaps 🧐) and make the most of feeling light, feeling free, being young. is it dangerous to be high/drunk up there? you speaks as though that matters-
perhaps related to the previous point, andrey has never struck me as a greedy guy. he'd offer grief meals and bandages and pretty much anything he needed, if he could provide it. grief doesn't like taking stuff though, and he definitely doesn't like asking. he's independent, he's a MAN, he can get by on his own just fine. andrey is annoyed by this, but concedes that, sometimes, all a man has is his pride. so he finds way to sneak gifts into grief's pockets or a bag he happens to be carrying. comes up with bullshit schemes to justify sharing a meal with him. oh, it's NOT your birthday today??? damn well shucks, might as well eat this food anyway since it's already here. i think grief clocks it and endeavors to find a way to repay him, since he clearly can't get him to stop his fucking charity fund. grief starts sneaking his own gifts into andrey's pockets, into his bar. they're usually practical, stuff he found and mended. i like to imagine grief getting andrey his iconic p2 suspenders, because why not amiright
grief sprouts body and facial hair like it's nothing, andrey not so much. it would take some time getting here, and i don't believe this becomes a common occurrence, but andrey would definitely ask grief to shave him at least once. it's late, they're alone, andrey is looking for an excuse to get him to stay around longer...... say grief, i'm pretty good with a knife, but what about you? here, take my razor. be careful, you wouldn't want to cut me now would you (he is winking he is smirking)
grief is intrigued by andrey's architect shenanigans, but doesn't understand half of it. looking at blueprints is a nightmare, hearing about the theory behind the building is a headache in the making. after a while he stops asking, which suits andrey just fine when he finds himself absentmindedly sketching grief between calculations. IT'S A GOOD THING HE'S NOT LOOKING AT THESE PAPERS MAN WHEW I WAS ALMOST CAUGHT
wish i had more! i'm sure more stuff will come to mind but for now.... enjoy them.....
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Que Será, Será
Que será, será -Spanish phrase (que se·rá, se·rá) English translation: What will be, will be
No outbreak!Joel/reader (no descriptions but you have a backstory and are an adult virgin.)
Summary: It's almost twenty years after some weird outbreak almost happened but the CDC took care of that...
Now you're living in Austin, Texas as an adult.
What happens when you meet Joel Miller who hasn't been hardened and ruined by twenty years of murder and loss?
Rating: Explicit- (smut, dirty talk, DD/lg dynamics eventually, BDSM, )
Warnings: Drug use, dirty talk, sexually inexperienced oc, Daddy Dom Joel, darkish (more pervert)!Joel. Slow burn, eventual angst (so much). (So, this is cross posted from my ao3. It's a WIP and I haven't updated in a while, but I'm working on it. I hope you all like this first chapter.)
This is un-betaed, so...beware.
This is the worst fucking job you’ve ever had in your whole life. Why did you move here? To Austin, Texas? Really? You honestly don’t even know. You just needed to get away from your dad. Your mom passed so long ago from that heart attack that…it just was your dad at your childhood home you never go visit anymore. Your dad didn't even really bother you or call you, so you don't know why you felt the need to distance yourself from him by thousands of miles.
Samantha. She’s the reason you moved down here. To be close to your sister and your nephew. She was almost never around though! So what the fuck!! You’ve just been living in her fully finished basement while Samantha and her amazing husband travel the world– she was sad for whatever reason. Postpartum something. Sadness... it plagued her. So her husband Cody packed up whatever weird IT company he ran from home and gave you the keys to the house and said…
“Have fun. Place is yours for six months while I try and turn your sister back into a normal person. Don’t burn my house down.” -Cody.
Cody was great. The perfect husband for her. Your brother Paul lives in fucking Florida like an asshole. Never wants to get married. Lives on the beach all day. Like an asshole.
He is fun to drink with—
Holy fucking shit it’s that guy again!! Oh!! He’s so handsome. He’s old enough to be your dad…but who gives a shit. He’s so fucking hot. OOOHHHH my god. He’s gonna come through your line. The other one is open but he’s gonna wait?? Interesting.
You have all these thoughts as you’re cashing out the person in front of him. This person has so much shit and the handsome fucker behind him just has a caulk or something that comes in one of those pointy tubes. You don’t know anything about home improvement!! Not even one bit! You lied and said you did though on the application. They paid the best and didn’t make you wear a uniform. You could wear jeans and a t-shirt. You had a stupid fucking apron on though.
Like an asshole.
Ohh he’s here. He’s right here and he’s smiling at you.
“Hey, you having a good day today?” You try and spark up casual conversation as you scan the one item he has. He’s been in here so many times in the few weeks you started working here and you’ve said…maybe four words to each other.
But he always comes through your line. This is the second time he’s been in today (through your line)– which isn’t uncommon, he’s probably a contractor. He looks like one-- dirty shirt and jeans. Steel toed boots. Contractors and builders and roofers or whatever come in here multiple times a day sometimes, so, you don’t think anything of that, but you do think about how he always chooses to wait in your line.
“Was, until I had to come back here fer’ this.” He holds up the tube of what you see now is silicone whatever and he chuckles. “Spend more on gas than I do bullshit for the job.” He smirks and your knees go weak. He’s so cute.
“Well…I didn’t mind seeing you again.” You attempt to flirt but you’re so bad at it…you think. You dunno. You don’t really date. Your first and only boyfriend put a bad taste in your mouth when he freaked the fuck out when you told him you changed your mind about sleeping with him. Almost fuckin’ hit you. But you kicked him in the chest and got the fuck out of his car before you had your pants on. Fuck Jackie Harris…cock sucker.
“Wha– oh— rea—” He is stunned to stammering that you’ve said this to him. “Ya know who yer’ talkin’ to…right?” He looks over his shoulder like there might be someone behind him. You smirk and try another attempt at flirting.
“Well…not really. You havent’ told me your name.” You bat your eyelashes at him and bite your bottom lip. He’s blinking at you.
“M-My name?” He stutters again and it makes you chuckle. You nod and look him up and down slowly, then bring your eyes back to his. He’s blushing. “S’Joel." He gives you a goofy smile and you’re blushing now and you don’t even know why. “Joel Miller. Yours?"
“If you give me your number, I’ll–” You start but you cannot finish.
Joel cannot get his phone out of his back pocket fast enough. He unlocks it and hands it to you. You type your name into the contact portion and then type in your number. You call yourself… so he can’t completely ignore you. Even though you’ll never text him first or ever if he never reaches out to you. You hand his phone back to him after you feel yours buzz in your jeans.
“Perfect.” You smile and hand him the phone back.
“You free later?” He raises his eyebrows and his tongue dances behind his teeth, his lips are slightly parted and, again, it makes your knees weak.
“Sure am.” You whisper quietly.
“Well expect a call from me then.” He winks at you and walks out the door.
Shut the fuck up? Who even are you?? You never do stuff like that?? Jackie completely freaked you out about sex and so… you still hadn’t done it. UGH and he’s so much older than you so he’s obviously going to be experienced and he’s going to want that!!
It’s not like you hadn’t done… anything. You’ve had a couple fingers inside you… a tongue on you once… you didn’t feel much of anything so any time some else offered after that you always said no because…why bother? It wasn’t even that good. It’s not like you were saving yourself… not at all. You don’t give a shit about that… you just wanna find someone who isn’t so focused on just that? You’re not really sure. You think about it constantly and over analyze every man who does want to sleep with you until you no longer wanna sleep with him.
Maybe it’ll be different with Joel.
When your shift ends and you get into Cody’s pick up truck he left for you to use while they were gone. You didn’t have a car, so you’re saving for one while you live in their basement…working in a hardware store. Ugh. Life hadn’t been…not nice to you. You worked for a company in Jersey for years until they went bankrupt and left you with no job. So, you needed a change. Couldn’t afford your apartment anymore. Dad was a dick, so you weren’t moving back home with him.
Joel does call you that night. You’re sitting on the couch watching nothing… not even really paying attention to what was on the TV. You were reading some crazy true crime blog that had you afraid to go to bed at night but this was what you did every night. His call scares you but you answer excitedly.
“Hello?” You try and sound super casual.
“Hey. Sorry, I would’a called ya earlier but work ran a lil late.” He apologizes but he shouldn’t be…he’s calling you. You tease him.
“Ooooohh. That sucks. The other guy I called 'cause you kept me waiting is gonna be here soon.” You let the sarcasm drip so he doesn’t think you’re serious.
“Gimmie your address… I’ll meet him there. Scare him off.” He snickers into the phone. You have butterflies.
“Oh I bet you would. Mr. Scowls Constantly.” You tease him again.
“You still asked for my number…sooooo, I must be doin’ somethin’ right.” Joel teases you back into the phone. “What’re you doin’? Can I come pick you up for a lil bit?” He asks with no teasing in his voice now. You’re literally in your comfies. You got no makeup on and your hair is up.
“I look real gross?” You warn him in question so he has the option to back out.
“Worse than you looked earlier?” Joel chuckles into the phone.
“Nevermind. I’m going to bed—” You tease playfully into the phone.
“Nooo. C’mon. I got a joint rolled and we can just cruise for a while.” Joel sounds like he wants to see you. You smirk. You tell him the address.
“How far away are you from here?” You ask, nervous now because he’s really going to come.
“Literally five minutes. I was jus’ workin’ on a house two streets over.” Joel laughs and you hear his turn signal in the background. “I’m on my way, cutie.”
Then he hangs up! And he’s really coming to pick you up right now!! You grab the joint you were going to smoke before bed and put it between your lips as you slip on your sneakers. You give yourself one last look in the mirror…whine quietly because you really didn’t think he was going to call you.. Not tonight at least!! It was like nine o’clock! You came home, showered and just got to reading your blog. Had been doing that trying to pass the time and not look at your phone every two seconds seeing if you had somehow missed a call from him within that time.
Now he’s coming to pick you up… to go cruise around… Oh my god. Okay.
Your phone dings and it’s him texting you that he’s outside.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
You grab your keys and rush out the door. He has a big black pick up— bigger than Cody’s and honestly, you have trouble getting in. You jump up and set your joint next to his in the empty cup holder.
“What’s that?” Joel points to it as you fasten your seatbelt.
“My contribution?” You raise your eyebrow at him and he chuckles.
“Your ass in my seat is contribution enough, pretty girl.” He growls at you and speeds off. "What were you doin'?" He asks as he pulls off your street. You smile over at him stupidly because he is so handsome. He still has the clothes on he was wearing earlier.
"Just readin' some scary shit that makes me nervous." You chuckle and he does too. He has one hand on the wheel and the other arm is resting on the large center console.
"Why would ya go n' do that? Stupid." He flicks his head to look at you quickly before he turns to look at the road again.
"Don't I know it. Stay up all night reading scary stories just to be tired the next morning." You can't stop smiling at him.
"Need me to come spend the night? Keep you safe?" He jokes as he turns up the radio a little. You roll your eyes at him and enjoy the scenery for a while. You weren't close to the edge of town so you're on back roads in no time. He lights his joint and hands it to you once he gets out of town and on an open stretch of road with nothing around…. And now you’re a little nervous. What did you get yourself into… he’s a literal stranger.
“You’re not from ‘round here. I can tell by yer’ accent. New York?” He asks curiously. You shake your head as you hit the joint and hand it back to him.
“Close. Jersey.” You smile and turn your body towards him slightly with your back pressed against the door. Joel looks at you and his eyes trace along the curves of your body.
“S’cute…” He trails off like he has more to say. “How old are you?”
“Old enough.” You smirk. Joel groans. “What!? How old are you?”
“I’m in my fifties. I’m an old man.” He smirks over at you. “You look like you could be my daughters age.” He rolls his eyes and the smirk leaves his face.
“I’m about to be in my thirties.” You smirk at him and then laugh at his reaction when he groans louder. “Stooooooop.” You whine at him and place your hand on his forearm that he has resting on the center console.
When you do that the hair on your arm stands up and he gets goosebumps. You blink up at him but keep your hand on his arm. He smirks and takes the joint from you. He steers with his knee so he doesn’t have to move his arm from under your hand. You slowly start to run your fingertips along his scarred and suntanned skin.
“Feels good.” Joel growls down to you from low in his throat. You flick your eyes up to him, off his arm, and you’re silenced by the look in his eyes. It makes your breath catch in your throat. “Yer’ real soft.” He whispers.
“Thanks.” You sigh softly. It makes him smile– the same goofy smile from the store. It’s so cute, fuck. He’s so handsome. You do not even care if he’s as old as your dad. He is so fucking hot. Jesus. Okay. Composed. You’re not going to do anything stupid.
As you think this, Joel pulls off the road into a little shallow ditch. He leans his seat back slightly and hits the joint again but it went out. He relights it, hits it and then hands it to you.
“You like workin–”
“No.” You cut him off before he can finish while you’re hitting the joint. “Hate it, but they pay me good and don’t make me work late. So…I’ll stay for now.” You smirk at him. “I just moved down here from Jersey actually. Couple of months ago.”
“Oh? Whachya runnin’ away from?” He flicks his eyebrows up once and smirks. You chuckle but… you were running away from being a failure.
“Just wanted to be closer to my sister. She had a baby right before I came down here— as soon as I get here…her and her husband take off to some tropical island or some shit.” You roll your eyes.
“That’s their house?” Joel is still looking at you but you’re looking out of the front window.
“Yeah. Not even my truck in the driveway.” You snort but you’re self-conscious. He’s a contractor and probably doing well for himself…this is a nice truck and he had a nice new phone when you typed your number into it earlier.
“Shit. I struggled with money n’ stuff until I was well into my forties. Don’t let it discourage you. Least yer’ workin’.” Joel shrugs his shoulders and now you want him to kiss you but you’re not going to ask for that. You do start to lightly scratch the inside of his arm though and he twists it, offering more to you.
You won’t say no if he tries though. You hope he does.
“Do you do… contracting…things for yourself or do you work for someone?” You don’t know the technical terms for it.
“I own my own company. Me n’ my brother. Business is good now so I could afford to hire on a couple guys recently. Been seein’ my daughter a whole bunch more. She’s almost in her thirties too. ‘Bout to get married. Real nice guy she’s got.” Joel is smiling. “So…I take a couple days off a week to drive to Fort Worth to see her.”
“Awww..That’s so nice. I love that. My dad’s a piece of shit. So, you’re a cool dad for that.” You smile at him and he’s one thousand times more attractive to you.
“Thanks. I doubt myself sometimes— not so much anymore. I did when she was a kid but she turned out real good.” Joel smiles back at you and moves his arm so it’s closer to you, more stretched out so you can scratch your nails along more of his skin now. You oblige him and he exhales through his nose softly. You smirk.
“Been a while since you been touched like this?” You tease. Joel narrows his eyes on yours. You blink.
“Honestly… damn. Okay. So… can’t be mad at me… okay?”
“Oh god. You’re married aren’t you!?” You exclaim. You pull your hand away but he grabs for your wrist and gets you. He pulls your hand back towards him gently. You don’t fight him…very much.
“I’m not married. Nope.” Joel rubs his fingers along the inside of your arm gently as you continue to lightly pull away– you’re not making any real attempt to get way. “Not even in a relationship.” He shakes his head no.
“But?” You twist your wrist in his hand softly but he just rakes his fingers up and down your arm gently and slowly.
“I do have… a lady… who I see sometimes.” He groans. “She really isn’t anything you have to be worried about–”
“Who says I’m even jealous? I just didn’t wanna be a home wrecker.” You turn your head away from him but keep letting him touch your arm gently.
“I never said you were jealous… I said worried. You said jealous..” Joel is smirking and you don’t even need to look at him to see it. You roll your eyes and turn your head towards him. He is smirking. “Don’t gotta be nothin’ though.” Joel slow blinks at you and his tongue darks across his bottom lip quickly. His fingers never stop moving.
“Why’s that?” You ask quietly. The mood in the truck has changed drastically in two seconds. Like it did when you touched his arm for the first time..but now there is a weird and…not uncomfortable tension but it’s like there is electricity in the air— like you could be struck by lightning!!
“‘Cause if you told me to stop seein’ her I would.” Joel grins again.
“Why? You don’t even know me.” You whisper.
“I wanna.” He whispers back to you.
“Okay.” You sigh softly.
“You gonna keep that seatbelt on all night or do you wanna get comfortable?” Joel whispers to you, pulling your hand up as the same time he leans down and his warm, wet lips come into contact with the skin on the inside of your wrist. You swallow hard when he does that but then he lets you hand go completely. He’s already taken his seat belt off. You’ve been sitting over in the passenger seat like safety Sue!! Looking stupid.
“Sorry.” You whisper to him, your cheeks flushing red.
“Don’t be sorry— sorry for what?” Joel raises one eyebrow at you and pulls a new joint from somewhere out of his door. A little hidden compartment.
“I dunno.” You shrug your shoulders. “You just have a bunch of those ready at all times?” You tease as he lights this new joint. He nods silently as he inhales.
“My brother grows it. Give’s me a good discount on it.”
“That’s real fuckin’ nice. I get mine from some nineteen year old at my job. Overcharges me like I’m an idiot.” You grumble. Joel chuckles.
“We’ve all been there, cuteness.” He hands it to you and leans back in his seat again.
“You could have smoked mine— I really don’t mind.” You point to your joint, still in the glove compartment.
“Respectfully… I’ll never smoke yer’ weed.” Joel curls one arm and puts it behind the back of his head to rest on. His head is turned to look at you. You are kind of offended by this.
“It’s good shit! I don’t smoke–”
“Could be the best weed I’ve ever seen…” Joel narrows his eyes on you again. “I’ll never take anything from you… only give.” He rumbles. In between your legs twinges when he says that.
“Oh..” You sigh softly.
“I like to give.” Joel whispers quietly. “That okay with you?”
“Yeah…” You sigh again quietly and Joel’s eyes soften immensely and he reaches for the joint as you hand it to him. He slowly rubs the pads of his index and middle finger along the backs of those same two fingers on your hand as he plucks the joint from you.
What!? What was that!? Such a small, simple touch and now you’re pussy is leaking!? Are you serious!? Get out of here right now. You’re going to do something so stupid if you don’t.
“Yer’ fuckin’ cute.” Joel shakes his head after the two of you stare each other for a moment.
“So are you. Fuck. So handsome.” You groan and close your eyes so you don’t have to look at him anymore.
“Stop it.” Joel laughs softly. “Jus’ an old man.”
“I like it.” You say immediately. He barely gets the word man out before you’re responding to him. Joel’s eyes scan across your face slowly as you gaze at him. He’s hard to read but…fuck…he is so hot.
“Good.” He stays on his side of the truck and you’re starting to wonder what you’re gonna have to do to get him to roll over here on top of you. You desperately want him. Need him maybe. “Why’re you starin’ at me like that?” He smirks as he hits the joint. His eyes avoid yours.
“You know.” You say this two octaves deeper than you would normally talk and now you’re narrowing your eyes on him. He doesn’t hesitate. He taps the joint out in his little car ashtray and is crawling over the console to get to you.
He does everything. He flips the lever up that drops your seat back, he’s on top of you, his knees on either side of your hips, and his hands on your waist so gently.
“You want me to kiss you?” He whispers softly, double checking that this is really okay. You nod up to him, unable to speak because you might lose your virginity tonight. You’d give it to him. Holy shit. He doesn’t waste another second. His lips crash into yours and both of you open your mouth to let the other in. They are deep, messy kisses right from the beginning. Desperate.
“Fuck.” You sigh as he pulls away for just a second to adjust his knees in the narrow seat. You’d probably fit better up there but…his weight on top of you just feels so fucking good. Everything about it. He smirks before his lips are back on yours. His tongue is so soft and warm and he tastes like weed and mint gum. Smells a little like lumber and sweat. You reach up and run your fingers through his shaggy hair from the back and get a good grip of it in your hands, pulling him tighter into the kiss.
Joel groans loudly, one of his strong, rough, calloused hands slips under your shirt and slides across your stomach softly. You whimper quietly as his hand cups your breast over your thin athletic bra. He squeezes softly and he thumbs across your nipple and it stiffens for him at once. He pulls away and gasps for air. His lips are slick with a mixture of both of your saliva.
“I’ve wanted to do that the first day I saw you.” Joel admits sheepishly, his hand still cupping you under your shirt. You still have his hair in your hands.
“You should have talked to me sooner.” You whisper up to him and pull him back into kissing. He moans softly as you eagerly push your tongue into his mouth and swirl it around his. He squeezes your soft mound again but this time with more force. He pulls way, forces you to let him pull away now and you whine in protest because you just want him to keep kissing you.
“Hey..” He pants softly. “I just gotta warn you that I like it… a little rough… I like to talk real dirty.” He leans down and kisses you again, this time his hips push down into yours and he rocks his back and forth across you. “Fuck.” He groans into your mouth.
You are sure that you’re soaked through your jeans. There is no way you’re not.
“S’fine.” You pant back up to him and try to tug him back down to you but he doesn’t let you. You whine again and make him laugh.
“I’m jus’ lettin’ ya know ‘cause I don’t wanna hurt yer’ feelin’s. I don’t… really think that shit.” He whispers, kissing at your bottom lip once between words. “Jus’ like bein’ kinda mean n’ naughty.” He sighs as he sinks back against your lips. Your hips push back up against his in agreement to whatever he said. You don’t care how he speaks to you. No one has ever really spoken to you during whatever you’ve done.
“Let’s hear it.” You break the kiss long enough to say that before you’re attached to him again. He moans softly and grips your breast harder now and thumbs at your hard peak with force.
“Yeah?” He makes sure, gives you a chance to back out of this if you don’t want to.
“Do it.” You breath out against his mouth softly and now you’re so glad you brushed your teeth in the shower.
“The naughty lil slut wants me to talk real dirty to her?” Joel says in barely a whisper into your mouth. Your whole body reacts to this and you push your hips into his and your fingers tighten in his hair. “Oh slutty lil girl wants this old man to talk dirty.” He grins and kisses you again. His hips dig into yours. He lets out a low groan when he does that. “Fuck.”
Joel climbs off of you and back into the drivers seat. You’re alarmed to say the least.
“What? What did I do?” You’re so stunned and are almost crawling into his lap. He stops you with an apologetic face.
“S’just… a lot. Gotta slow down.” Joel swallows hard and leans in and kisses you again. You both linger but when you open your mouth he pulls away again. “If we keep doin’ that… I’m gonna wanna do more.” He chuckles nervously.
“Like what?” You bat your eyelashes at him. He closes his eyes softly and sighs before he opens them to look at you.
“Whatever you let me do is fine. I’d just watch.” He whispers. You pinch your brows together.
“Watch?” You’re so confused.
“Yeah… just watch you…” Joel trails off.
“Do you just wanna come back to my place?” You ask quietly. Joel puts on hand on the steering wheel and then rests his forehead on the back of his hand.
“So fuckin’ bad… Jesus Christ.” He groans softly. “I just… I dunno. Don’t want you thinkin’ that’s the kinda guy I am… I just had sex with that lady last night.. Would feel weird doin’ it with you so close together.”
“Oh.” You feel a little gross now, honestly.
“We don’t kiss like that.” Joel must sense how that made you feel. “I’d do a lot of things with you I wouldn’t do with her…” Joel is scanning your body again with his eyes.
“Like what?” You don’t care what he does to you.. You’re not sleeping with him tonight… not after that omission but…he could do other things to you. He could stick the handle of a hammer into you and you don’t think you’d care.
“You want me to be real nice ‘bout it or real naughty?” Joel growls softly.
“Naughty.” You whisper to him. He grins and nods to your sweats.
“Put your hand in there and touch while I tell you what I’d do to you…what I am gonna do to you…soon.” He is still growling and speaking quietly. You hesitate for a moment but then slide your hand under the waistband. Joel sighs softly.
“Okay..” Your fingers find what is desperately buzzing and leaking between your legs.
“First… I’d– well.. Where are we? Here or in a bed?” Joel looks down at your face instead of where your hand just disappeared to.
“Here.” You smirk up at him as your fingers slip into the wetness.
“Well, first I’d crawl right over on top of you again like I was..” Joel sits his seat up a little so he can relax but still see your hand. “Do you care… if.. I, um…”
“I want you to,” You know he’s hard. You felt it pressed against the outside of your cunt when he ground into you earlier. You don’t even look as you hear his zipper. You want to look so bad but you don’t wanna seem too desperate. You do wanna see it so badly though. It felt big. Bigger than you’ve ever touched you think.
“So I’d be on top of you ‘cause that’s what the lil girl wants, right? Is for me to be on top of you?” He sighs softly as he speaks and you wanna know what’s making him sigh but you won’t look. Not until he asks you. Your fingers rub against your clit slowly and almost barely because if you touch it with more than a feathers touch and faster than a snail you’ll come while he’s talking to you.
“Yeah. I do want that. Really bad.” You moan quietly as you graze your spot a little too hard.
“Jesus fuck.” Joel sighs again. “Yer’ so fuckin’ sexy. Yer’ voice…” Joel’s voice is… different. You’re so fucking curious to know what he’s doing. You know, you do. You can hear his skin slapping together. You hear him spit now and wonder what the fuck he just spit on but then Joel moans, a real moan with verbrato to it. That makes your fingers flinch and they press down hard against your bundle.
“Fuuh-ck.” You moan softly, trying to bite it back a little but this makes him moan again.
“Lemme hear you sing, little bird. C’mon. Sing for me. I know you can.” He moans to you softly. “Push them fingers inside that tight lil hole fer’ me.” He coos down to you deeply. You do, you push them into your cunt and curl your fingers against your spot.
“Oh fuck. Oh my fuck– Jesus.” You do moan, loudly.
“Push your shirt up, lemme see them fuckin’ tits, baby.” Joel sounds desperate to see you. You give him a show. You push your shirt and bra up to your neck and tug at one of your nipples softly as your fingers go back to working circles around your clit.
“Oh m– Joel.” You moan his name and the sound he makes in response is lascivious. It comes from deep within his chest. You do it again. “Oh, fuck. Joel, touch me… touch me here.” You run your fingers along the mound and hardened peak closest to him.
Joel lets out the most filthy sound you’ve ever come out of a man. His fingers are on your sensitive nub and he’s twisting and tugging like you are on the other side but he’s rough. He pinches and pulls. It pulls a disgusting moan from your throat and you arch your back as your fingers work faster and in tighter circles.
“Look. I want you to see it. Please.” Joel is practically begging through his own moans as he leaves your nipple and now just gropes the whole fleshy mound in his rough hand.
You open your eyes finally and look at what he wants you to see. It’s big…bigger than you were anticipating. The biggest you’ve ever seen in person. He could easily fit both of his hands on it if he wanted. There wouldn’t be much left over but both fists could fit on that thing. It’s an angry red, the tip is almost purple and he is leaking precum.
“I wanna c-come with you.” Joel is staring down at you, his eyes moving between where your hand is hidden and your chest and your face. You flick your eyes between his face and his beautiful dick. Fuck, it’s perfect.
“M’gonna.” You whine loudly as your body stiffens. Joel groans as you moan loudly. The stiffness from you leaves when you hear him moaning and his jagged breathing. Its’ bliss filling your body.
“Such a g-g-good girl.” Joel stutters through his orgasm as yours rips through you. You are not quiet about it.
“Fuck. Joel. Oh my god. It’s so fucking good. Fuck.” You whimper as your hips rock up into your own hand. This is the most powerful and intense orgasm of your life. You’ve never felt this good.
“Yeah, pretty lil slut. You come so fuckin’ good.” He is just panting now as you ebb off your own orgasm. Joel still has his hand on your breast. You don’t care.
“Wow.” You sigh softly.
“Fuckin’ say that again. Made a mess.” Joel chuckles. You pull your hand from your pants. Joel reaches for your wrist. “C’mere.” He growls softly and the next thing you know he’s sucking your fingers into his mouth. He groans against them quietly as his tongue slides all across your digits. You’re in awe when he pulls way. He wipes his mouth with his thumb and forefinger. “What?” He looks at you nervously as you gawk at him.
“Do you… like the taste–”
“Of you? Fuck yeah.” Joel nods and then clears his throat. “I don’t go down on everyone…but I would on you. I’d do it for fuckin’ hours if I could get you to make sounds like that.” Joel is leaning back against his seat. His cock his still in his hand but it’s soft now. He did make a mess all over his shirt. You reach over and with one finger run the tip of it along his still messy and leaking seam. You collect the remnants as he sighs quietly, watching your every movement. “Taste it.” He whispers to you.
You suck your finger into your mouth as he watches but he has to look away quickly. He puts his cock back in his jeans and you frown.
“Yer’ too fuckin’ cute n’ sexy. Gonna get me hard again.” Joel smirks. You blush and wipe your fingers on your sweats and sigh loudly.
“You’re really fucking handsome n’ sexy too.” You sigh again because that was just so incredible. Joel is just smiling down at you, leaning his elbow on the center console.
“So… is this what you wanted my number fer’ or… would you let me take you out to dinner sometime?” Joel flicks his eyebrows up. You blush harder and let your set incline so you’re not laying down flat anymore.
“I would go to dinner with you.” You smirk at him and now he’s blushing.
“You work tomorrow night?” He asks softly.
“I never work past five.” You smile and take his hand when he reaches for you. He rubs the backs of your fingers with his.
“I’m not gonna see that lady again… just so you know.” He says it like he’s nervous.
“Okay.” You don’t really know what else to say.
“Just lettin’ ya know…so that you don’t think I’m tryin’ to be funny with you or anything.” Joel’s eyes are glued to your hand and he’s still just touching.
“Okay.” You’re still at a loss.
“Do… you sleep with anyone else?”
“I’ve never slept with anyone.” You blurt out mindlessly through a chuckle like it’s funny. You die inside. You cover your eyes with your free hand and wait for him to drop the hand he’s holding but he doesn’t.
“Wh– are you ser— no. You’re fuckin’ with me.” Joel doesn’t believe you. Perfect.
“Gotchya.” You smirk and point at him with the hand you had over your eyes. Joel laughs and shakes his head.
“Had me there fer’ a second… but seriously… yer’ not sleepin’--”
“No. I haven’t been with anyone since I moved to Austin.” You nod at him because it’s true. You weren’t with anyone before that either.
“Alright. Just like bein’ safe is all.” Joel shrugs his shoulders.
“I like that you’re talkin’ to me about it. Shows me your respectable… or don’t wanna give your wife another STD.” You wink at him and Joel rolls his eyes.
“Oh shuddup.” He pulls your hand to his mouth and kisses the back of your fingers. “Not married. Divorced almost thirty years.” He whispers.
“Damn… you a bad husband?” You tease. He nods silently and flicks his tongue against your fingers gently.
“The fuckin’ worst.”
thanks to @saradika-graphics for the dividers.
#no outbreak!joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller smut#no outbreak au#tlou joel#dirty talk#bd/sm daddy#age difference
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HxH: Feitan w/ a Strong! S/o Pt.1(?)
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`>When I say strong, the reader, in this case, would be as physically capable and have nen and/or abilities comparable to Feitan. I see a lot of headcanons but not many like this
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`>Getting back into the HXH fandom slowly so while I'm working on some more Food Wars! Content, have these since this gremlin has been plaguing my mind lol. If this gets enough love, ill make a part 2 so tell me what you all think :3
Warning: Murder, Stalking and Strong language
So if you a minor, beware.
.
-To start, he might be a tad put off
-It's pretty rare to find someone with such prowess, especially ones that don't have less than-savory intentions
-Id assume you met on a battlefield of some kind or while he was on one of his missions with the troupe
-Just like him, you aren't exactly the upstanding citizen type and are committing crimes of some sort when you encounter
-Whether stealing the same things or killing the same people, you two have similar goals, regardless of the reason
-To be fair, he didn't think much of you when you first appeared
"How. Troublesome...."
-An annoying obstacle, someone to dispatch quickly
-However, after a rather tedious fight and a good amount of bruises, he realized it might not be that simple
-Your moves were calculated and precise, and your battle iq no doubt honed over years of experience with nen abilities that even he found difficult to handle
-His interest was certainly piqued, as much as it can for Feitan anyway
-You’ll hand it to him; its been a while since you've seen his level of strength
-A true master of his craft, no doubt
-Regardless, that isn't why you were here
-You came to rid of a target and with your mission accomplished, there was no reason to stay, no matter how curious you were about the extent of his ability
-You were swift at your exit, swift enough that Feitan only caught your figure leaving from the corner of his eye
-Admittedly you've sparked more than enough of his interest
-something about your very being itched him in a way he couldn't describe and lingered his thoughts for moments too long
-Like it or not, your existence loomed his mind awkwardly and gave his chest a tighten
-Indescribably annoying
'Must. know. about. Her. Get rid of stupid feeling.”
-now we all know Feitan is no short of deranged and sadistic so it is no telling if he wanted to know for devious reasons or other
-Whatever the case, it led to him talking Shalnark into researching deep (and I mean very deep) into you
-Playing it off as a simple inquiry, he found you, a picture attached to your profile albeit a very blurry one
-All that he could get was your name and Age
"Y/n. Interesting. Name."
Shalnark is confused
-That's how he got here, peeping from your window as you rest
-Even with such little information, finding you was trivially easy
-Your apartment was small, compact he’d say
-Nothing compared to the places he’s layed his head: cold, dark, and filthy on a good day
-He spent the night watching you sleep, noticing every ministration, every time you got up abruptly and checked your surroundings, nearly certain something was amiss
-He didn't expect peeping on you to be so trepidatious
-That didn't stop him from stopping by every time he wasn't busy to check up and watch you
-Days became weeks and months flew by as he kept this cycle going
-It eventually got to the point that he'd follow you to and from your house
-He was searching and, surprisingly, unsure of what for
-He's never felt any particular connection to people outside of the spiders so it was usually easy to write it off as mindless curiosity
-He just wants to know why you interest him so much, and nothing more
-That's how he ended up in your house when you left for your 8 am morning run, which took you approx. 30 minutes to finish as of this week
-He was just checking your clothes because he wished to know where you frequented, perhaps he could lie in waiting as you shopped, snatching your jugular and relenting this pounding in his chest that paces just a few beats quicker
-He only checks the food you eat to see what your diet consists of, perhaps to poison you as your gaze falters from your plate, even if just for a second, permanently killing the heat that rises against his skin at the thought of you
-He doesn't care about you; he just wants to know your weaknesses to exploit, that’s all
-If that were true, then why was he in your room when you weren't? Taking in your scent as if an attached dog
-Surely he could've killed you thousands of times over in the dead of your sleep; a slit to your throat would've ended this and yet he feels pulled to let you live
“Just. one. More day.”
-If it didn't matter, if you didn't matter, why did he effectively remove any potential romantic partner from your life?
-It's just to make you easier to kill; it's just to make you easier to kill, it's just to make you easier to take. No! Kill...not take...
-What was once curiosity became more of a crippling obsession.
-He had to know everything—what you were doing, who you spoke to, and what you ate in the morning
-You captivated him and even if he couldn't understand it, you had him wrapped around your finger without so much as a word
-Ever since your mission 4 months ago, a certain feeling has lingered your consciousness and kept you on edge with no clue as to the source
-Things went missing, your associates became distant—well, more distant than you kept them—and your kills have become suspiciously easier.
-To the average person, such a prospect would strike fear and cause for trepidation
-Did you think I wasn't aware that he'd been watching me?
-All credit goes to him, spotting him was the hardest part
-He only let his presence be known through peeks of his bloodlust spilling before he vanished in the same motion, which gave away how seasoned he was
It was hard to tell if he wanted me to find him with how obvious his actions became; no, the word would be bold. His actions have gone from stealing articles from the back of my closet to lacing food when he was sure I hadn't seen him
-Playing dumb was the easy part; actually avoiding his kidnapping attempt(s) was certainly a challenge
-Before long, you could see the desperation in his nen
“You're getting sloppy, Stalker.”
-I suppose you've worked hard, stalker, I’ll let you win just this once
#character x you#feitan x reader#phantom troupe#hxh x reader#feitan portor#xreader#x reader#x yn#character x y/n#character x reader#feitan porter x reader#hunter x hunter drabble#hxh feitan#drabbles
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So About the New Asides... (Christmas)
Here's just a random list of my thoughts. Just finished the video (What Makes the Perfect Gift?). And oh boy, do I have some THOUGHTS to share.
[I was gonna finish a Intruloceit Crime Boss AU fic thingie as a surprise for a mutual bc why not, but this has me in its grip]
[beware Drunk Character, btw]
Longest post ever, jfc.
Also, I know exactly which people to ask which pairings about. I know who to ask to talk about Dukexiety (@where-are-the-spooky-gays-2), about Intruality (@rataticaisdreaming), about analogince (@disneybrandautism), about Roman in general (@prodigal-explorer and @disneybrandautism), about Prinxiety (@logan-the-artist), etc. etc. etc.
I know people and what they love and their favoured characters. I encourage everyone to infodump and geek out in the comments bc this episode fed us all.
Spoilers below
the lil present animation for the title thingie? cute
Logan waking everyone up and hosting the Secret Santa this time, yusss
Logan is responsible and it shows
"11th hour of beauty rest" -> I love Roman, he's one of my favs
^not this specific line, but can I just say with all of the angst and insecurity and such Roman has, I think I have to add him to my Kin List of Sides that I relate to at some ungodly level (which also includes Remus, Virgil, and Logan. and maybe also Janus)
the pipline to being a Roman kinnie/stan has been WILD okay idk what to tell ya lmao
"master of all kinds of rhythm, except circadian-" yep relating to Roman yet again
Logan's lil pacing in his spot, I call that him stimming and no I don't take criticism on that
^new headcanon unlocked: Logan (like Roman) cannot keep still to a certain degree
Logan and Roman aren't as different as you'd think btw
Virgil being woken up/summoned only by the sudden burst of adrenaline is so canon that I cannot. I CANNOT.
Patton's and Roman's excitement for Secret Santa is everything to me <3
autistic Roman autistic Roman autistic Roman-
"things are a little different this year" -> yeah about that
Serious Grinch Moment(tm)
Logan knowing a lot of medical knowledge makes me think he could have a special interest about it, but that may just be my "autistic Logan go brrr" headcanon nonsense
^...did Patton just indirectly call Logan the Grinch?
^^heart grow in size, he says to Logan... hhhh, I feel the slightest bit of angst vibes from that
"I just stress" -> me core
Roman checking on Thomas, awwww <3
The way Logan sounded when he said Remus' and Janus' names + Virgil's and Roman's reactions to them coming LMAO
"You may all have your feelings about them" -> the way Logan said 'feelings' like it's a plague, mm yeah heheh
Logan is such a f*cking mom, never stop pls
Janus pops like already drunk and Remus pops up all excited, dear frickin god do I love these two specifically
Drunk Janus is my fav thing ever btw
"what's up bro" // "hey..." -> siblings siblings this is my sibling (/ref)
omg Remus just being excited to be there and be included and to hang with his bro, he is so happy to see Roman cause BROTHERS, oh lord creativitwins slfjalkfskafaalkf
"they were right where I left them... in a vat of human excrement" -> I stan him for a reason, don't judge me
^he speaks and I either laugh or relate to it. usually both (no I will not elaborate on what this implies about me lmao)
"courteous laughter" mm yeah
Logan stops Virgil's escape HA
"That everyone will be secretly trying to win at" -> Roman is right and he should say it
"I'm not sharing it with anyone, I'm just showing it off" -> Janus says about his largest wine bottle that he definitely already started drinking from
Patton gets so excited he gets lightheaded
Janus got Patton? heheh moceit nation RISE
^you'll see what I mean when ya watch the episode
^^not just because he got Pat but because of the actual thought and effort he put into the gift
"I thought it was the corpse of a sea lion, but Janus wouldn't let me shake it." // "No, I don't think so. It's too light."
^...h- how does Patton know how much a dead sea lion weighs??
also Roman's reaction is basically "wut the f-"
"I might be mistaken, but I'm not." -> reason 39539 why I love Logan
"A BOX :D" -> Pat. Pat that's not everything.
^Janus being like "keeping opening the boxes" while pretending not to care, hehehe
^^"...you want me to destroy my new box?" -> all I can do is sigh, suddenly understanding why I may relate to Janus
REMUS CANONICALLY CALLED PATTON "DADDY", I-
^Roman's and Virgil's reactions, lmao
can I just say how much Ro and Vi are being the best of buds? like mm, platonic prinxiety is off the charts this episode
Remus' f*cking "whaaaaaaaa-" kills me
Janus just pouring wine into what's supposed to be a tea mug is funny to me
"but for Remus?" -> hey at least Roman knows his brother well enough to know an air fryer isn't exactly a Remus-typical gift idea
"someone they don't really know" but then Patton admitting he should get to know Remus better? hhhhhhh-
^intruality nation, we got fed, god damn
tbh a lot of pairings/ships were shown in some way or another, so I guess we ALL got fed today huh
"chicken fingers?" // "yeah!" // "human fingers" // "yea- hh, wha- wait-"
so many intruality interaction omg (my intruality moot is gonna be so excited, I can't wait to talk about this episode with him)
Remus is gonna experiment with the air fryer, ayyy
"I had Virgil" // "Ah f*ck-"
"with me own hands" -> I will never stop loving Remus
also Remus making Virgil a handmade gift? relatable and also aww, I imagine them as besties but in the dynamic where Virgil is kinda reluctant and Remus will never stop teasing whenever he can
^new headcanon: one of Remus' main love languages is 'i made this weird creative thing for you' and I only relate to him even more (essentially gift-giving but make it BETTER)
Mr. Fuzzy <3
Virgil knowing the inside joke between dork Sides- I mean dark Sides
^okay but just all the dukexiety and creativitwins and anxceitmus moments within seconds of each other in that scene is just aww
Virgil knowing what Remus calls his shower drain alfkjafksk
"I hate that I know that" -> reluctant bestie vibes
all of the analogical moments SENDS me because of how it plays out and how Logan felt hurt before realizing what his gift actually was, mm yeah aksfklsdfskfd
Virgil trying to hint subtly that maybe Logan should read it to see something, but Logan not picking up on the hints
^ngl took me the second watch-through to realize "oh he was trying to hint at him but he didn't pick up on it, like me haha"
^^do I kin Logan, you ask as if there isn't an obvious answer of YES
no wait bc the LOOK Remus gives Logan as he becomes more upset and literally encourages him to get angry and let his feelings out
^okay but why did Remus have to say it like that
Pat this whole episode says someone's name as if he's about to intervene/try to help the situation but then IMMEDIATELY says something about his box(es)
Virgil's sigh, lmao
Logan's passive aggressive sass sends me omg
Logan feeling like he needs to 'reevaluate' himself... hhhhh, the angst fics I could write from this moment alone dear lord
"I had Roman" // "Oh- oh, no-"
^idk why but Roman's reaction hurt me
^^like he doesn't have faith in Logan's gift-giving abilities? and how it seems most of everyone specifically has little-to-no faith in Logan's capacity for compassion/general emotions (except for maybe Janus and Remus, and Thomas bc he's been praising Logan for doing well during it all)
Okay but Thomas praising Logan? oh gawd, my heart-
^working on his relationship with the logical part of him, sfksalfkhskadf
LOGAN'S SIDE EYE TO VIRGIL-
^(he's so petty lmao)
Roman liking his present from him <3
^this reminds of the last Secret Santa they had when Ro made Lo a full-on fanfic of him replacing Watson and working with Sherlock and etc (headcanon: both the twins have their love languages involving their creative merits/talents because they're Creativity)
just generally speaking, gift-giving seems to be pretty high up there on everyone's love language list (in their own ways)
why is Patton not the greatest at gifts
^I take that back because he is putting thought into his gift-giving (though not a lot when it comes to Remus cause he doesn't know him well), though he tends to misread/misunderstand what they'd really like? ...is that a neurodivergent thing? cause like that's a little relatable actually
^^also lmao, I just realized the only people Pat's got as far as the series goes is literally the twins (so maybe he's just not sure how to go about the twins? cause like, he seems to know Logan and Janus and kinda Virgil pretty well, but he seems to struggle with the twins? or is that just me)
"because f*ck that asshole" -> love it when Logan cusses <3
then Remus' reaction, omggg (his lil "for christmas")
The genuine joy on Roman's face when sees Logan put Roman on the dollar bill is EVERYTHING, do ya know how much he gets to be happy? (not a lot, if we backtrack to the last canon episode in which Roman's entire worldview broke, but some of ya aren't ready for that convo yet)
sorry but seeing the now-rare joy on Roman's face, awwww
JANUS SHUT. S H U T.
as soon as Janus speaks, Roman's smile drops and is replaced by upset, hhhhhh
^so the amount of angst fics I can make on that scene alone is very much a high number
Janus is so drunk, jfc (he keeps laughing and the filter is basically gone at this point)
"massive ego" -> see Jannie Boi, I think ya missing the part of him being The Ego and how f*cked up he already is but you keep making it worse & a part of me thinks you know you're making it worse because one of your Big Jobs is to actually protect and nuture the Ego but ya ain't doing ya f*ckin job and Roman's self-esteem and self-confidence seem to be dwindling every time you speak bc he knows ya gonna hurt him again for the millionth f*cking time
^I have a lot of Feels, okay?
"quite the unhinged jaw" -> I see what ya did there (literal snake man)
Jan pours more wine, oh lord here we go
this episode has both made very happy but also hurt me deeply all in one go
Why does Patton sound like he was about to actually defend Roman only to yet again comment on his boxes?
^why do I get the feeling this has something to do with the finale coming soon and also the angst arc that royality is currently going through?
I just realized the twins' spots are next to each other <3
^loving all the twins content this episode, exploring their brother relationship yusss
"yessss, full circle at last" -> He's so f*ckin drunk, oh my god
^he's literally holding onto the wall
also ayy, canonical that Janus hisses in his speech cause ya know. snake.
^the snake traits coming alive this episode
"such a sweetie going through all that effort" -> wait for it
AY HE GOT B*TCHSLAPPED, THAT'S RIGHT MF
he deserved it
Remus' amused "oh" as he enjoys the drama and Roman's passionate "YA GET A B*TCHSLAP, JANUS" is so f*cking delcious
Thomas being like 'what just happened-' as Jan gets slapped is funny to me
"it really is Christmas" -> H A
"won't even share the wine" -> Logan sounds so sad tho
I love how Janus was so impressed with the b*tchslap and how it was executed that he can't even be that upset about it
JANUS GOT PAT A GAG GIFT -> moceit moceit moceit-
^see told ya; Jan was thoughtful with it
"I was getting a bit too catty" -> being self-aware
Pat making a cat pun because of Virgil's hissing <3
Remus being like "nooo, the drama!" lmao
omg omg omg THE ANALOGICAL ENDING skfksfksjdfs
^I make it sound like it's one of many endings to a video game lmao
but srsly, Logan finally ready the newspaper to realize it's actual a puzzle for more puzzles and him being very happy <3
Virgil's evil laughter is legit just him being him, I love this character
okay but Vi knows Lo so well?? they're besties.
"Mr. Detective" from Virgil + Roman's lil smile as he watches Logan be happy with his puzzle(s) cause he knows how much Lo likes mystery (see when he made Lo that Sherlock fanfic) = prinxiety knows Logan very well and now I imagine analogince being a bestie trio of comfort and caring for their nerd
^Analogince has become something I didn't know I wanted until now lmao
"Oh Virgil" -> gay
"and you thought I'd just get you a newspaper" -> alfkjslafskfdslkfs I will never recover
aww Logan's happy smile! he's getting to be happy!!
"Mr. Fuzzy doesn't like being dropped" -> Remus, never stop being you
all the dukexiety content this episode feels my heart with joy because they're Brainrot to me
"how did you know-" // "we're you and also you're kinda easy to read"
^Janus taking offense to Thomas being easy to read bc he's Deceit and Self-Preservation, aka: the combo for Masking
"that's rude" -> idk why but the way Jan said that, it made me go aww
^he's so f*cking drunk at this point (props to Thomas (irl) for all the acting as a drunk character cause it was amazing and realistic as hell)
aww logince moment when Lo asks Ro to help him cause Creativity and Ro's smile
^(to be fair, there's a considerable amount of logince moments but this is the only one I pointed out as specifically logince)
can we talk about Nico's gift to Thomas? a necklace with a Ying-Yang charm and what looks like a rainbow charm?? symbolism heheheh
^many thoughts about the Ying-Yang cause balance and black-and-white mindset changing and etc.; but also the rainbow(?) charm cause GAY
Also, Nico Flores content!!
wait, is the endcard the moment when Nico and Thomas become serious? OMG GUYS Y'ALL, WAIT A SEC-
Janus End Card -> I laughed so hard
This episode was basically Growth, Angst, and Tumblr's Headcanons Get Confirmed.
#asides spoilers#sanders sides spoilers#spoliers#sanders sides#asides#sanders asides#rant#list form of thoughts#oat rants again#like 90% of my headcanons for certain things got confirmed as canon in this episode :D#long post#long ass rant#dear fuckin god#Autistic Roman Trio - we need to talk about Roman in this episode cause goddamn. holy sh*t.#loved this so much#will be obsessing for weeks
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DS9 4x23 The Quickening thoughts (I’m re-watching, so beware spoilers for future episodes!) [8 Sept ‘23]
How does this episode start with something as silly as Quark's stupid advertising stunt?! XD
"And believe me, I will have fun." Yeah, Kira is scary. I love it.
I actually adore that shot of Julian and Jadzia transporting down, and the panoramic view.
"I slept in a bed for the first time on my life." That is devastating
"I'm sorry I don't understand. I- I thought you said you could help her." Juliaaaan <3 <3 <3
I love that both Julian and Jadzia have discarded the Prime Directive straight away, with their "we've got sophisticated equipment, we can help!" mindset!
"I thought you l this was a hospital. That you were a healer?" "I am. I take away pain." I have so much respect for Trevean, honestly.
"Well, there's nothing for us to do here. We should go." That's so unlike Julian. Gosh. He's so frustrated by this all!
"Come back for us within a week. With any luck we should have a cure by then." So optimistic! I can see why people would say he's arrogant, and he's definitely naive... but if they have cured a plague in three days it's also not baseless?? And the other two aren;t exactly saying "hah, that's impossible/unlikely, Julian".
Ekoria is so cute. "How would you like to see a picture of your baby?" Her smile!!! :3
Julian's excitement and inability to not use medical words XD
"Ekoria, where did you get all this food?" Jadzia being the gentle emotionally intelligent one next to Julian's unthinking "starving" <3
"I was saving it for my death, but something tells me I'm not going to need it anymore." Her faith from the outset makes this all so more devastating.
Julian doesn't have a problem with people not liking him -- but when people say they don't need a doctor? He needs them to need him -- and he needs to be allowed to help.
"What if I told you there was a chance you didn't have to die. I'm a doctor." It is SO much of his identity. (Feeling some DBIP feels for when he thinks he's gonna be stripped of that part of him.)
"Fixing a broken bone and curing the blight are two different things." "I know that." 💔💔💔
"Others have come here with promises of a cure, and stirred up hope, took food and clothing in exchange for their elixirs." I'm so curious about this, were they actually trying to help and failed and gave up, or were they scammers - in which case, I guess it's an easy planet to scam but for what, really? You do definitely understand Trevean's point of view though.
"I'm not making any promises." At least you know that much, Julian.
"Maybe my people don't deserve your help." "Oh they've just been suffering for so long they've lost hope that things can be better." Now that's the Julian I know and adore -- I love how these two together build up each other's hope and faith in other people 😭😭😭
"I suppose you're gonna wanna bleed me?" "Oh, um, a little." Welp XD I assumed the answer was going to be no 😂
"I cancelled my death for you. I was really looking forward to it." Oh no. I know what's coming. He gets a worse death. Oh, this is all so sad
"Think of it. She may well be holding the cure in her hands. Do you think we should tell her what she's giving them?" "She's nervous enough about using the hypo. It's better we wait till we're positive." He's too eager, just can't wait - I get that Julian, but good work on listening to Dax even if you're disappointed, because she's right.
It's the Kukulaka conversation!
"Trust me." "I do." Ohhh 💔💔
"I was watching you. You're very good with patients." HE'S SO SWEET
"But death comes to everyone in the end." "Except Kukalaka." How did that come to your mind as the next thing to say?! This is the most ADHD, such a random thing XD I'd forgotten how he'd brough Kukalaka up 😂
"Help me, Bashir!" fuuuuuuck
"Come on, breathe. Breathe. Breathe." "Julian..." "Breathe." This scene is everything. All the feels. This is my favourite sort of emotion.
"These people believed in me and look where that got them." 😭😭
"You know what worries me Julian, is that without me you won't have anyone to translate for you." Oh that was so soft :3 just a quiet lil joke. I adore Dax ❤❤
Him just carrying all that equipment by himself! :o
"Oh not a task. A privilege. Can you show me how to make it?" "I was hoping you'd ask that." Not me crying. 😭😭😭💔💔💔
"Good work." "Thank you, sir." He just shuts down with Sisko's praise. My HEART. Oh, Julian.
"But their children won't." "That's what I keep telling myself, sir." He says that so quickly, you can tell he doesn't believe it. That whole scene is just... I think it tells us so much about Julian. Yes, he's too brash and loud and naive sometimes, but everything comes from a place of caring so, so much about everyone... I love him, you know?
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Chapter XLII
A Kili X OC fic
Previous chapter // Next chapter
TW: Not proofread (yet). Descriptions/mentions of injuries, blood and ache. Descriptive trauma’s from Ravenhill (for both Kili and Raewyn), trouble processing everything. Mentions of burning finger tips. Bittersweet angst.
Based off of Metallica’s Until It Sleeps
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Did the author really just combine this with a writing challenge to satisfy both audiences? Absolutely. Pining is a dish best served cold.
“Where do I take this pain of mine? I run but it stays right my side.”
Gandalf never not spoke in riddles. It furiated Raewyn beyond words, but it was and would always be something that she would have to live with. When she had asked him about Zharad, he remained his usual mysterious self, refusing to give straight answers instead of crypted words. If it wasn't for her fatigue and injuries, she might have punched him.
All she found out about Zharad was that she was indeed married into her family, but worked in a small village as a healer. She was considered an outcast for the people there, but still a welcome addition. She hadn't known of Raewyn's existence out of protection for the younger Asha. Gandalf feared that any message that could be intercepted could not only risk the life of Zharad, but also Raewyn. Thus, he kept them separated. When she had grown of age and left the old wizard, Gandalf had almost anticipated she would come back with the news of her aunt, but she never did. And as they scarcely met over the years, Gandalf saw no reason to mention it. After all, it was in his best belief Raewyn learned to let go of that which had plagued her for years.
Raewyn disagreed, obviously.
“So tear me open, pour me out. There's things inside that scream and shout. And the pain still hates me, So hold me, until it sleeps.”
Much to her dismay, Zharad had left before Raewyn had any say in it. Gandalf offered her a way of contact would they have the urge to meet again, which the Asha had gracefully accepted. The call to leave hadn't been Gandalf's after all - Zharad had left on her own accord, claiming her town needed her and Raewyn would heal if she only did what had been recommended. That should have been enough to soothe anyone's mind concerning Raewyn's health.
It didn't, obviously.
After her, less conversation, more screaming, with Gandalf, she had taken off to her tent in a messy stumble, sitting back down on the cot in defeat and anger. Kili had followed her once more, ignoring the glares he got from Oín when it became apparent he too hadn't followed any medical advice.
“Just like the curse, just like the stray. You feed it once and now it stays, now it stays.”
"Why does he get a say in my family?" Raewyn ranted, still over in her head from Gandalf's words. "All my life, I thought he truly wanted to help me, but he's been hiding this since the beginning!" Running a hand through her hair in frustration, she tried to calm herself down.
"I understand now might not be the time," Kili began. "But do you not think there is at least a little truth in Gandalf's words?" At those words, Raewyn's eyebrows furrowed together in more frustration, doing her best to not glare. Kili tensed under the notion all the same, but continued: "He was doing what he could to keep you safe."
When Raewyn refused to verbally respond to him, he decided to keep going carefully. "He raised you as a child - I thought you considered him family. I'm not saying he gets to decide your life, but what he did was with good reason."
"Are you turning against me too?" That made Kili halt. Gently, he sat down on his knees in front of her, now seeing her face. Rage had washed into guilt and sorrow, and he could not help but let the emotions pierce his heart as well.
“So tear me open but beware; There's things inside without a care. And the dirt still stains me, So wash me, until I'm clean.”
"Rae," He began softly, placing his hands on top of hers, its coarse bandages lightly scratching her skin. "No one is turning against you." "It feels like it." She mumbled, not moving under his hold. She slowly raised her head, meeting the dwarf's eyes.
"He lied to me, Kili." As much as he understood Gandalf's point, he felt for Raewyn. To have the one thing you consider family hiding the fact that you still have living ancestors out there, even after witnessing the brutal massacre of the rest of them. He understood her as much as he understood the old wizard, which meant he also realised that trying to convince her of Gandalf's innocence was not going to work now.
"Listen to me," He tried. "Everyone here has done their best to keep you safe, to keep you healing. No one in this mountain right now has any ideas of turning against you." Searching his eyes for any kinds of lies or amusement, she sighed. She knew he was being honest - he always was against her. She didn't necessarily need to observe him in order to recognise that. She simply sought an excuse to look at him just a little longer. But his shift of conversation seemed to work for now, for a cracked smile appeared on her face: "That must have been a pain,"
Shaking his head with a tiny chuckle, he looked down at their hands, noting the slight tension in Raewyn's. "Must've hurt Thorin's ego." She followed, a hint of humour on her tongue. Then, sincerity returned: "How long was I out?"
“It grips you, so hold me. It stains you, so hold me.”
He knew the question was coming; it must have been on her mind since the moment she woke. In all truth, he had lost count of it. He lost count after two days, when sleep failed to visit him regularly. "Longer than we wanted," He settled on, which wasn't a lie for him. "But you are here, that is what matters. Don't waste your energy on distrusting family or starting fights. Please, just focus on healing now."
A soft smile made its way to Raewyn's face, barely recognisable, but Kili saw it. "You're good at this." She muttered. "Talking." "I'm an excellent talker." The dwarf joked, shooting a wink her way.
"I know," She agreed. "Thank you."
“It hates you, so hold me. It holds you, so hold me. Until it sleeps.”
Ultimately, the dwarf rose, letting go of Raewyn's hands as he looked around the dishevelled tent. The smell of blood, mud and sweat hung heavy in the air, and he scrunched his nose up as the scent finally reached him. "We should get you to your room. I figure this can become clammy."
"My room?" The Asha voiced confused, observing the dwarf intently. "Yes," He nodded, turning to Raewyn. "We would not let you stay here in the barns."
Her face fell slightly upon his speech, not knowing how to go against his words again. Unfortunately, she'd be as honest to him as he was to her, and she shook her head to him. "Kili, I do not know if I will stay here." The smile from his face disappeared quickly, a worried glance in his eyes now. A weightless yet sinking feeling entered his stomach: "Why not?"
Shrugging in futility, Raewyn looked at her empty hands. "It is not really a home for a ranger, is it?" Kili's head leaned to the side slightly, a worried frown on his face, all decisions and thoughts swirling through his head in a whirlwind.
"It doesn't have to be." "Ki-" "The reason you wanted to join this quest was to kill the last name on your father's list, was it not?" He interrupted quickly. A look of wonder crossed Raewyn's face, her eyes falling on his figure. "You remembered that?" She wondered incredulously.
“So tell me why you've chosen me. Don't want your grip, don't want your greed, don't want it.”
"You are done," He sighed aloud, falling back to his knees, the Asha's eyes following his every movement. "Rae, you don't have to avenge your family's name your entire life. You forgave Thorin, you killed the dragon, you killed Azog, you met your aunt. You did it, Rae. You avenged them." Again, his hands found hers, squeezing them through his pain. Piercing brown eyes met hers, a look so pleading in them, she was speechless for them for a second. "So what is in it for you now?"
Swallowing harshly, she tried to push her compliance down, insecurities taking over as she spoke through a shaking voice: "It is all I've ever known." Heartbreak flashed through Kili as she spoke those words - not even for him, but for her. She never belonged anywhere, she wandered with an old wizard and lived a life of revenge and agony. She had no comforts of someone she could run to or talk to; she had no safe space. And he'd be damned if he'd let her leave without one after their entire journey.
“I'll tear me open, make you gone. No more can you hurt anyone. And the fear still shakes me, So hold me, until it sleeps.”
"It doesn't have to be." "Ki-" "The reason you wanted to join this quest was to kill the last name on your father's list, was it not?" He interrupted quickly. A look of wonder crossed Raewyn's face, her eyes falling on his figure. "You remembered that?" She wondered incredulously.
"You are done," He sighed aloud, falling back to his knees, the Asha's eyes following his every movement. "Rae, you don't have to avenge your family's name your entire life. You forgave Thorin, you killed the dragon, you killed Azog, you met your aunt. You did it, Rae. You avenged them." Again, his hands found hers, squeezing them through his pain. Piercing brown eyes met hers, a look so pleading in them, she was speechless for them for a second. "So what is in it for you now?"
Swallowing harshly, she tried to push her compliance down, insecurities taking over as she spoke through a shaking voice: "It is all I've ever known." Heartbreak flashed through Kili as she spoke those words - not even for him, but for her. She never belonged anywhere, she wandered with an old wizard and lived a life of revenge and agony. She had no comforts of someone she could run to or talk to; she had no safe space. And he'd be damned if he'd let her leave without one after their entire journey.
"It doesn't have to be." He whispered. "You can stay." A tiny scoff of sympathy escaped her: "And do what?" "You could become a captain of the guard." He announced without thinking, cursing himself silently for speaking these words. "Excuse me?" Raewyn coughed out, noting Kili's eyes quickly closing in regret.
"Thorin wanted to propose it once you were completely healed, but he can't if you have already left." He revealed. Passion engulfed him as he continued to explain the idea. "You could help people here: Erebor, Dale, the borders of Mirkwood. You have the experience and loyalty of no other - there is no better person to take this role than you."
Raewyn was silent at this confession. He didn't expect her to not be, it was quite the revelation. But he did not want her to leave either. She needed to stay. If not for herself, than for him. But he wouldn't tell her that. At least, not now, while she was still half asleep. He shouldn't have dropped this topic like that, but he needed a good reason for her to stay for at least a couple more days. "I understand it is a difficult decision to make right now, but please, just think it over." He proposed. "Don't leave yet."
“It grips you, so hold me. It stains you, so hold me.”
It was such a Kili thing to make Raewyn ponder over solutions to questions she'd usually already know the answer to. If he had asked her to position for captain of the guard a month ago, she would have wholeheartedly refused, probably mocking him and laughing in his face for good measure. If there was anything, beside stubbornness, that Ashas were known for, it was for their hatred - or extreme disdain - towards kingdoms and those of higher standards. A hierarchy was never needed for them. It took years for her to even warm up to Elrond; she still struggles to address him properly. It was almost as if asking a hobbit to live in solitude for the rest of its life: you didn't do it. But, per usual, Kili went completely against her expectations and got away with it easily.
So, there she sat, completely stunned and wordless on top of a warm and comfortable bed. In pure dwarvish fashion, it had been adorned with blankets, sheets, and pillows beyond counting, and though it was extremely comfortable, Raewyn found it too hot to place herself in the midst of it now. The young prince had walked her to her room, pointing her towards the two doors leading to his bedroom and his brother's respectively, in case something were to arise. It was a short walk away, but even now, it felt miles away. Ever since she woke, people had been swarming her, and now she was ultimately alone.
“It hates you, so hold me. It holds you, holds you, holds you. Until it sleeps.”
It was a terrifying thought for her. Realisation hit as she silently recounted the bodies she had seen on the battlefield when meeting Fili earlier. She had lived when so many others lost their lives. She still couldn't comprehend how. She recounted the freezing breeze on Ravenhill, and the shouts and yells of the orcs. The terrible malice in Azog's eyes as he swung her body across the ice. A short shock ripped through her body as his eyes appeared in front of her, an iron grip suddenly on her ankles. Pulling her legs up in reflex, she hissed loudly when her bandages scratched the open wound on her back, tears quickly gathering in her eyes.
The lack of air, the freezing waters over her body, the uncomfortable feeling of her clothes clinging to her skin, the bared muscles on her back, painful hands grasping her tightly, a heart wrenching scream. She was jerked from her memories sharply when her fingertips met the burning flames of the candle on her night stand. She hadn't noticed she was inching towards it until she felt the blisters forming on her fingertips.
"Shit," She mumbled, pushing the burned fingertips to the blankets beneath her. The turmoil within her refused to settle, whatsoever. The cold was gone now, but confusion remained. She wanted to let the issue rest - leave Zharad for what she knew, but after the old dwarrow's words, she couldn't help but wonder how many others she had known before the slaughter.
“I don't want it, I don't want it, want it, want it, Want it, want it, no.”
Standing up quickly, she ignored the pain shooting through her back as she stumbled towards the door. She thought a moment alone would give her enough time to think - to properly process everything - but it hadn’t. If anything, being alone only seemed to amplify her distress and confusion. No; the last thing she needed right now was to be alone with her thoughts. As much as she’d like for everything to just be quiet.
The halls were empty now. From the distance, she could hear a few voices talking with each other in hushed tones, but that was all there seemed to be right now. It was a chilling contrast to the ambiance in the mountain only days earlier. She didn’t know what she preferred. A walk through the halls now seemed to last forever with the impending silence, whereas it earlier felt as a brief walk. She didn’t know how long she had been walking - or stumbling - until a voice cut through the silence.
“What are you doing up?” The tone was not hostile, but genuinely confused. Turning around, she came face to face with Bofur, his head tilted slightly at the sight of Raewyn: “I thought Kili showed you your chambers?” Taken by surprise, all that she could really utter, was a simple ‘yes’, before she finally came to her senses: “I just needed to stretch my legs.” “Lass, no offence,” the dwarf began kindly. “But I don’t think it is a good idea for you to be up and about right now.” “I’ll be fine.” Raewyn dismissed him, trying to continue her walk, but in her pace, Bofur was quick to catch up: “I should walk you back to your room.”
She sighed at that, knowing it was probably a good idea if she wasn’t to be left alone now. That was the entire reason she had stepped into the halls to begin with. Thus, she relented: “Do you know where Kili is?” A slight smile appeared on Bofur’s face, but he tried to keep it hidden. “He’s in his chamber.” “Where is that?” “Across from yours.” He then said hesitantly, as if it surprised him she didn’t know that. “I’ll walk with you.”
“So tear me open but beware; The things inside without a care. And the dirt still stains me, So wash me 'til I'm clean.”
Standing up quickly, she ignored the pain shooting through her back as she stumbled towards the door. She thought a moment alone would give her enough time to think - to properly process everything - but it hadn't. If anything, being alone only seemed to amplify her distress and confusion. No; the last thing she needed right now was to be alone with her thoughts. As much as she'd like for everything to just be quiet.
The halls were empty now. From the distance, she could hear a few voices talking with each other in hushed tones, but that was all there seemed to be right now. It was a chilling contrast to the ambiance in the mountain only days earlier. She didn't know what she preferred. A walk through the halls now seemed to last forever with the impending silence, whereas it earlier felt as a brief walk. She didn't know how long she had been walking - or stumbling - until a voice cut through the silence.
"What are you doing up?" The tone was not hostile, but genuinely confused. Turning around, she came face to face with Bofur, his head tilted slightly at the sight of Raewyn: "I thought Kili showed you your chambers?" Taken by surprise, all that she could really utter, was a simple 'yes', before she finally came to her senses: "I just needed to stretch my legs."
"Lass, no offence," the dwarf began kindly. "But I don't think it is a good idea for you to be up and about right now."
"I'll be fine." Raewyn dismissed him, trying to continue her walk, but in her pace, Bofur was quick to catch up: "I should walk you back to your room."
She sighed at that, knowing it was probably a good idea if she wasn't to be left alone now. That was the entire reason she had stepped into the halls to begin with. Thus, she relented: "Do you know where Kili is?" A slight smile appeared on Bofur's face, but he tried to keep it hidden.
"He's in his chamber."
"Where is that?"
"Across from yours." He then said hesitantly, as if it surprised him she didn't know that. "I'll walk with you."
Bofur was patient as he walked beside Raewyn, letting her set the pace, though it was achingly slow. When they finally arrived at Kili's door, it didn't take long for him to arrive after Bofur knocked. Though it was late, he didn't appear to be asleep. Unless he managed to jump out of bed at the first knock. "What's wrong-" he started, almost out of reflex, but when he saw Raewyn, his frown deepened. "Is everything alright?"
"The lass was looking for you. Didn't know where you were." "Oh," Kili breathed, his eyes not moving from Raewyn's figure. Bofur noticed, and merely nodded his head. "Right then. Good night." And with that, he was gone again.
Kili immediately walked up to Raewyn, his hands gently finding her shoulders as he forced her to look at him. "Are you alright?"
She couldn't really answer. How would she even begin to explain everything? He'd been through enough. He was resting too - she shouldn't lay her burdens on his mind. How would he even be able to help? Why did she want to seek him out in specific? The unanswered questions combined with her earlier dread seemed to snap the thin wire. She opened her mouth to say something, but instead, a ragged breath came out, and she had to fight to keep her tears in. He noticed. Of course he did. He seemed to notice everything.
"Come here." He whispered, leading her into his room as he closed the door behind her. She didn't want to fall apart right there, but when his arms gently wrapped around her, pulling her into his frame, she was left with little choice. Tears fell down her cheeks as she clutched onto his back, revelling in the comfort his sheer being simply seemed to radiate. He didn't say anything for a long time. Not until she had finally calmed down and the grip on his tunic had lessened.
“I'll tear me open, make you gone. No longer will you hurt anyone.”
"What happened?" He asked in a hushed voice, keeping her at an arm's length as he looked at her. Again, she failed to answer him, her head falling against his chest in exhaustion. Almost instinctively, his hand brushed her forehead, frowning as he felt the beads of sweat rolling off her face: "Hey, you're boiling."
Then, ultimately, her voice found its way back to her, even as it slightly cracked: "How are you alright with all of this?"
Seemingly hesitant at her words, Kili frowned. "I'm sorry?" "It's just..." Raewyn trailed off, not sure what exactly to tell him. He refused to fill the silence that followed, leaving her almost obligated to finish her sentence. "Each time I close my eyes-" She stopped talking. She didn't know what to say. How would she even begin to explain it? An involuntary chill ran up her spine as the memories resurfaced. "It's so cold."
Kili led her to the hearth in his room, kneeling down onto the fur rugs as Raewyn followed his lead, keeping a considerate distance from the fire. It was then that the dwarf noticed her coloured finger tips. "What happened to your fingers?" He gasped, grasping one of her hands in his, inspecting them closely. She let him.
"I don't know." She mumbled, but shook out of her thoughts quickly, changing her answer. "I burned them, but not on purpose." Kili's eyes met hers, concern and confusion evident within them. "It was so cold." She tried to defend. With that, Kili rose from his seat, causing Raewyn to clutch onto his sleeve, ignoring the burning pain it gave her fingers.
"No, please-" "I'm getting a bowl of water for you." "No," she dismissed, a look in her eyes unlike any Kili had seen before. If he had, it had certainly not been coming from her. There was so much evident distress and panic, just as he planned to walk away. "Please stay." She repeated, exhaling a sigh of relief as he sat back down beside her, his heart beating wildly at her sudden change in behaviour
"Alright."
“And the hate still shapes me. So hold me, until it sleeps.”
They simply sat there for a moment, far enough from the fire that Raewyn wouldn't come too close again, but not far enough to not feel the warmth radiating off of it. Yet, regardless of all that, Kili still felt helpless: "Is there anything I can do to help?"
She answered quickly, as if the answer had been on the tip of her tongue to begin with. "Just stay." She swallowed harshly, sitting closer to him until their shoulders were touching. "I don't want to be alone."
"You won't have to be." He whispered, doing his best to comfort her in any way he could.
"Everything is done, but it-" she ranted, trying to find the right words. "It doesn't feel over." "I know." The dwarf agreed, unsure of whether he should embrace her again or leave her for a moment. She was hard to read at times, and he did not want to take anything the wrong way. If he didn't get his hopes up, he wouldn't be disappointed.
Raewyn didn't notice his internal struggle. She simply looked up at him, some flabbergasted. "You know?" "I haven't had a good sleep for days." He confessed. Each time he tried to sleep, he'd see that dreaded hill, and Raewyn's figure refusing to resurface. The blood that had stained his hands that wasn't his, the crack of ribs as he tried to resuscitate the dying figure, the way she hadn't woken up in days. It caused him more agony than relief. Even after it all had ended.
"Each time I am by myself, my mind plagues me. It shows me things that have already come to pass. I can't seem to get it out." Raewyn nodded at that, somewhat glad she wasn't the only one, even if she felt he didn't deserve to receive the pain she had been going through. She would never wish that upon him. But she didn't tell him that.
"Me neither." She whispered, then leaned her head on his shoulder as her eyes became glued to the fire in front of her.
"Ki, it was so cold." She muttered, her hands trying to find a comfortable way to lay on her lap. "You're alright." He hummed, noticing her struggle. Again, his hands reached for hers, the freezing touch of hers sending an involuntary shiver along his arms. He pushed it down. She seemed to relax under his warmth.
"You're here now."
“Until it sleeps, until it sleeps. Until it sleeps, until it sleeps.”
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Taglist:
@errruvande @writingawaymylife @justnerdystuffs @spidergirla5 @fallenangeloflight @bianavacker-is-bi-as-hell @lxdymormont @deathofafangirl01 @the-cranck-hobbit @chaoticpaintsplatter @bxtchopolis @radbarbariancupcake @gay-destiel
#tolkien#the hobbit#starcrossed losers#kili x reader#kili#kili durin#thorin oakenshield#kili imagine#fili and kili#raewyn asha#raewyn#kili x oc#Kili x Raewyn
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intro
Someone suggested me it would be a nice to start a blog, talking to a wall. This is my writing blog, or at least some of thoughts.
You can call me seraing, or emil. I go by he/him pronouns (please avoid they/them). I am an agnostic writer, but I am very tolerant of people's religions. Please beware there may be atheist ideals presented in my projects.
my question box is open. please use it wisely. you can ask about my projects, but if you want advice, please beware I'm not a professional writer. I don’t see myself as a writer. I'm more of an overthinker. english is also my third language, it'd be very appreciated to point mistakes
I have a few writing projects. They touch a little of every genre. Here is a small introduction of my main projects (ofc I have more! but these are my top priorities, top to bottom):
THE MINDS BEHIND CRIME
alternative title: L'Esprit derrière le crime project codename: project.punishment genre: dark academia progress: draft 1
"Your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing."
CRIME AND PUNISHMENT, FYODOR DOSTOYEVSKY
The Brothers Karamazov was the name of a group of four law and criminology students with grand ideas of the "perfect" crime, the concept of an unsolvable riddle. But this dream soon turned into a hellish nightmare beyond the path of morality. Ultimately, they were not all that different from the murderers they studied. Through fading memories, the narrator—Liu Haoyu, more commonly referred to by his pen name Celeste—recalls the inexplicable events of that dark spring.
A MURDER OF CROWS
alternative title: Enter the Lie project codename: project.sorrow genre: dark fantasy progress: plotting
Emantis is a gift from the Gods, some said. Emantis is the curse of the Devil, others claimed. At the end of the day, it remains magic, and transgressions involving Emantis magic are called Blood crimes. In the heart of this cruel world, there is Dungji, a large city built on greed and power. The Sorrow and the Death Whistle, two rivaling organizations, are both at war in the East Harbour. One day, Orion Vernich, the adopted son of the Death Whistle, is allegedly murdered by the Sorrow's Emantis. Due to the strange nature of the killing, it is coined as a Blood crime. According to the law of Dungji, if we judge the Sorrow guilty, both the leader and the Emantis will face execution.
THE OFFICE OF THE DEAD
alternative title: N/A project codename: project.tooth genre: urban fantasy / dark academia progress: draft 1
"It is vain for the coward to flee; death follows close behind; it is only by defying it that the brave escape."
CANDIDE, VOLTAIRE
Silas Keller and Valor Escher were very similar to one another, but they were also two completely different individuals, extreme polar opposites. While they both studied the nature of man, Valor’s idea of humanity was much more philosophical and abstract. On the other hand, Silas had a scientific approach on it; he was a medical student after all. We have been seeing them hanging out together for a little over a year now. Most people would describe them as rivals, and they indeed were! It wasn’t rare to see them argue or shout in the hallways. They detested each like the plague, but somehow, like two magnets, they also happened to attract each other—they were best friends.
MAGGOTS IN THE FEED
alternative title: N/A project codename: project.flesh genre: horror thriller progress: draft 2
"When reality distorts and science and logic lose their sense, the confusion drags you into Hell itself."
MAGGOTS IN THE FEED
MAGGOTS IN THE FEED is the short story of Esther Ellis, who attends their mother’s funeral, meeting on the way Taylor Loswik—a family friend—who invites them to stay in their manor. Reality slowly twists and, eventually, all will blend in madness.
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wip tag game rules :
post the names of all the files in ur wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send u an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! tag as many people as you have wips!
Thank you for tagging me @pinkkittysaw for allowing me to share my ideas publicly LMAO
Would like to note that I don't usually create titles until I finish something!
Tagging whoever wants to partake!
Joshua Rosfield x Leviathan!Reader (Chaptered): Reader and Joshua were betrothed to one another at a young age until the fall of Phoenix Gate. 18 years pass and Reader is the ruler of Aquaos, a safe haven kingdom for war refugees and bearers.
Barnabas Tharmr x Leviathan!Reader (Chaptered): A love story that turns sour (Thanks Ultima boooo)
Clive Rosfield x Flower!Reader: Throwback to when Clive had his brand removed and reader took care of him.
Modern AU: Reader and Clive are actors, and don't know what's real and what's not on set. NSFW
The Waloedian Witch: Witch!Reader finds Clive washed along the shores of Waloed. She takes care of him so he is strong enough to get back home. Unrequited Love AU
Gav x Reader Friends to Lovers AU: Everyone in the Hideaway knows you and Gav like each other… well except for you and Gav.
Clive Rosfield x Flower!Reader: Clive comes back to the Hideaway after Origin to find out you left. He stops at nothing to find you. (I'm writing this one now YAYAYAYAYAY!!!!)
Ignis Scientia x Rockstar!Reader: Ignis never thought a woman like you could fall for the likes of him. You could say the same about him.
Cidolfus Telamon x Reader: You are Cid's second in command at the Hideaway. The both of you tend to butt heads and it all comes to a head when Cid comes back from the one place you both swore never to return to… Waloed. NSFW
Barnabas Tharmr x Reader: you and Barnabas commence a marriage through a blood oath. Things get horny. NSFW
Clive Rosfield x Flower!Reader: Clive teaches you how to wield a sword. NSFW
Barnabas Tharmr x Reader: Barnabas decides to punish you the only way he knows: strap you down and make you cum until you are a mess. NSFW
Clive Rosfield x Reader: Clive avoids you like the plague and you have no idea why… that is until you see him locked down in the dungeon: Ifrit Rut fic NSFW
Cidolfus Telamon x Reader: Cid accidentally invents a vibrator. He wants to test it out. NSFW Crack fic
Clive Rosfield x Reader: Clive and Reader get heated in an argument, with the reader telling Clive how much she hates him. Clive decides to how true that statement is. NSFW
Moulin Rouge Roxanne inspo: Reader and Cid are in love, but Cid has to watch her entertain Barnabas.
Clive meets an older woman who would end up being an important figure in his life. Mother Figure!AU
Barnabas Tharmr x Reader: A fic based on the lyric “Always an Angel, Never a God” from the song "Not Strong Enough" by boygenius
Clive Rosfield x Reader Office AU: Clive is the CEO of Hide, Hideaway industries, and while visiting his brother's building, he sees Joshua has the most beautiful woman he has ever laid eyes on as his secretary. NSFW
Clive x Princess AU: During Clive’s time in the Imperial Army, he is given the task to escort you, a princess from the Northern Territories, to the Holy Empire of Sanbreque where you will wed Prince Dion. NSFW
Beware the Eikon of Death: You, the immortal Eikon, are put in charge of guiding Dominants to their peace for their life after death.
FFVII Remake x FFXV Crossover with Ignis Scientia x Reader relationship: Reader runs away from her past after the incident in Altissia only to find herself on the other side of the world in Midgar. Years have passed and she is now part of the splinter cell of Avalanche, but still has dreams about her past and her lover, which comes back to haunt her.
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Thrawn's Downfall Theory
This is speculation, but it does have spoilers for Ahsoka S1 and Clone Wars.
Beware, this is speculation, and there is a fantastic chance I'm quite wrong.
I was just thinking... what if the Nightsisters take the Noghri's role in Thrawn's defeat?
In the Thrawn trilogy, the Admiral's most loyal supporters are the Noghri, who serve him without question because they've been tricked by the Empire. They thought the Empire was their savior, when in fact, they are the ones who caused all the problems currently plaguing Honoghr.
When Leia lays bare the deception, the whole of Honoghr turns against the Admiral, and are instrumental in his final defeat. He's executed by Rukh, who was killed in the Rebels story.
Now the Nightsisters... their kin on Dathomir were killed by Sidious' minions, but they might not know that yet. If they do discover it, they might turn against the Empire--which is Palpatine's ultimate creation. For starters, they won't be as loyal as the Noghri were, but Thrawn won't have reason to see their betrayal coming. This might be what causes his death.
Bonus points if it is Leia who tells them the truth.
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❝ I'm sorry. ❞ MK says quietly. He's been quiet, but this needed to be said. ❝ I just wanted to learn more. This is my own fault. ❞
the oracle told him to beware the ides. // @newdleboy
there were many thoughts that were plaguing the sage's mind throughout this ordeal... but the one feeling that continues to linger was the fact that he was guilty. this shouldn't have happened to him... and staring at the wound on the successor's face resurfaced old memories he had tried so hard to forget... this was what macaque aimed for and he had hit the target perfectly.
❝ it's not your fault, kid... ❞ he says, voice low. eyes look downwards, afraid to look at mk and be reminded of his constant failures. fist clenches tightly at his pants, ❝ i... it was my fault. for not being a better mentor for you. ❞
#newdleboy#⊹ · images * . i shut my eyes and all the world drops dead#⊹ · answered * . i mend the heart with practice#UGGHHH
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Happy Showcase Sunday!
I'm a fantasy writer, and I focus on the interconnected universe in which all of my work (so far at least) takes place. I'm a college student and an INFJ who battles with perfectionism. I'm Ace, have chronic pain, and idk for sure, but am likely on the autistic spectrum. I struggle with anxiety and low levels of depression and am low-key ocd. I have two cats who help in my creative process who I love very much.
I have this thing where my dominant personality is being a reserved ray of sunshine, who won't swear to save her life. Meanwhile, the other side of my personality is pure chaos and destruction that is channeled into making my characters' lives miserable and more complex. So beware of the war between these two sides of my personality.
My primary WIP is the first book of a series called Legacy of the Fallen. I currently have up until Chapter 14 available to read.
The Cursed
Summary: After being driven from their home and countless lives lost among them, the Hecathian people are striving to rebuild what was lost. The Academy, a safe haven and reintroduction to their lost society, seeks other survivors. Annamarie has recently made a fated move with her father, being thrown into a world of discovery, danger, and more mysteries to be uncovered. As she learns more, she begins to question who she can really trust while everything she thought she knew fades into an illusion. Though it starts off following the daily lives of four seemingly average students at a random school, it's quickly revealed that there's more to them that even they may be unaware of. One of these four, Jacob, serves as a bridge to the reality that their true identities had been hidden from them after their parents and families went into hiding thirteen years ago after their people suffered a massacre that ended with millions dead and their world in the hands of their enemies. They are connected with a sanctuary that serves as cultural re-education and emersion for their people, which is ruled by Maishear, Jacob's father. Though this academy is supposed to be safe, it is plagued with political controversy, mysterious disappearances, and a traitor in their midst. The newcomers and Jacob's team are thrown together to face the challenges ahead and the shadows of the past that plague them.
You can find it here.
I also have two series going in my Expanded Works category. These are hypothetically shorter series that explore other areas of the overarching universe to complement my main series. I have several more ideas for this section, but these are my active WIPs:
Vixen
Follows the story of Roselle and members of their team two years before Legacy of the Fallen takes place. Roselle Jakoste is one of the few remaining members of the royal Verairacur family. Now, at fifteen, she finds herself falling for the son of the man that destroyed her family. Meanwhile, a mystery begins to reveal itself as political tension within the academy starts to grow.
I have this series available on my page or here.
Ruin
This is a dark series following survivors of the attack that stayed on Ariya. As their home planet is held under occupation, remaining Hecathians have to fight and hide to survive, while the life they knew crumbles around them.
Note: if you are sensitive to death, grief, or dark themes, this is not the series for you. While all my series are dark and involve more mature themes, this one is consistently more so.
This series is also available on my page or here.
I try to update all of my series somewhat regularly, though Expanded works are updated more regularly, as chapters are far shorter and editing is less time-consuming.
My goal with my writing is to create immersive stories for readers to enjoy. I love my characters, and I hope that you love them as much as I do!
I love hearing feedback and answering questions, so feel free to contact me, send asks, or comment.
Thank you for the support!
#showcase sunday#writeblr#writer#aspiring author#aspiring writer#writing community#my wips#writers of tumblr#about my writing#about me#self promo
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Do you have any headcanons for how Grief and Andrey's relationship is like? What do you think Andrey has done for the town's criminals? (i saw your tags on the voice lines reblog)
OH FRIEND...... YOU HONOR ME WITH THIS ASK YOU DO..... i got so excited to answer. i'm actually writing an angrief fic atm spanning from when they meet to when the game ends, but because i'm a very very very slow writer it's not coming out anytime soon. if you're interested tho wink i'd be happy to send u a very short sneak peak in dms wink
regarding headcanons tho, i'll try to be concise but honestly i have many unorganized thoughts and feelings about those two. should also be said that i have a timeline in my head for pre-game events that probably doesn't match canon at all, but it makes sense TO ME and time in pathologic is more of a suggestion anyway sooo hihi let's go
andrey is a bit older than grief; they meet at age 19/20. artemy is leaving and grief's losing his friends, his family. he's turning to gangs for company, which only further alienates him from lara and stakh. andrey is making friends for once, a rare thing after years on the run. his head's full of ideas, ideas that someone actually wants to hear, it's exhilarating. they meet at a plot of land where a staircase will stand one day, both immediately clocking Each Other™️, but the knowing looks go beyond a tick in their gaydar. andrey is a free man and grief wants to be free, desperately so, but he's also afraid. what will it cost him? grief fears the unknown, the steppe curses that keep him up at night, the scorn of his friends and the abandonment, the unknown. it's hard to be authentic, isn't it? andrey sees this struggle, understands the want to fight, the want for freedom. andrey tells him it's okay to want
that first meeting emboldens grief, sustains him when his family breaks for good. they don't see each other for months, and a lot changes for the two of them, but they still remember and all too well. andrey asked to see him again, grief is reluctant. just meeting the man was already impactful enough, he's relived it so often, lost in dreams. but he feels bold, andrey makes him bold. he finds andrey bleeding at his own bar. he needs stitches somewhere he can't reach, won't you help me out, sweet filin? he does. his hand trembles, his stitches are terrible. odd thing, piercing skin, sinking into another man's flesh. hope this doesn't awake anything in him!!!
(spoiler: it absolutely does)
it's probably not a huge surprise at this point if i state i write grief with internalized homophobia in mind, and a considerable amount of religious trauma too. the man he wants to be brings him to shame, and that reflex goes beyond sexuality yes but it's also about that. andrey is uncharacteristically patient. he'll push and prod, poke at the hidden layers behind those freckles he's memorized for some reason, but never goes beyond grief's limits. freedom shouldn't be scary. grief will evolve, he will grow, and andrey will look at him with pride in his eyes and something that is definitely not love (andrey only knows violence. what does he do with love?)
grief is becoming a proper criminal now, respected even if he won't cut, perhaps respected because he gets the job done without cutting. he becomes a seller of all things illegal, and andrey is always in the market for something dangerous. he wants a weapon that will allow him to get up close and personal, and he gets something personal alright. grief gives him a knuckle-duster, a gift. places it around his fingers to see how it fits, awfully gentle. it's not a ring, it's not a promise, they're not that ridiculous
(spoiler: they absolutely are)
the first outbreak is scary. peter suffers immensely from it and when peter suffers, andrey agonizes, but peter is fine...... grief wonders if the pest is divine punishment, if he's to blame for it somehow, but surely not....... they're both restless and healthy, alive, and they're sort of neighbors (oh my god they were neighbors). it's easier to call their INVOLVEMENT stress relief. neither is prepared for the truth really
friends who bang! andrey's got plenty of those and this one isn't any different, okay? barkeeps hear all sorts of juicy gossip, and if he happens to perk up at news on grief and his gang, it's only because andrey is a dangerous man too, and he's wise to look out for the goings on of the underworld. i'm actually still unsure what the line 'wasn't long ago he was on his knees, begging before me' is all about, but i'm convinced it's not horny, at least not 100%. they spend a lot of time on their knees before one another, almost anything andrey says sounds like a threat or a preposition. andrey is held responsible for the death of at least one man (rip farkhad) so he's probably feared in the town. his lifestyle alone shocks plenty of people. grief holds his men back with a "no stabbing, no shooting, no killing" leash, but we know they're able, we know some are willing. perhaps grief needed andrey to intimidate a gang member he was having trouble with, truly desperate, out of other solutions. i'm begging you for help, on my knees if i have to. those men are terrified of you, and frankly so am i (but not in the same way, oh never, somehow i know you would never kill me). it would explain why andrey brings it up to artemy during the second outbreak. grief's men will start misbehaving soon - i wonder if he will come crawling to beg again
i think they're amicable for the most part, their personalities bounce of one another. they're insistent on the just friends thing mostly out of habit. i know you will come if i need you, and we have plenty of fun together already. that's enough, no? what else could a bastard need
second outbreak is a mess and we all know just how much. apple basket reunion is awkward because hey grief why did the guy at the bar tell me about you being on your- how about we don't talk for a while? oh also, this is a small thing, but shout out to the day you find grief and peter at aspity's house. i laughed so much imagining that conversation, or the very OBVIOUS lack of one. peter isn't even really there, dozing off lost in his thoughts, and grief is nearby sweating bullets. be cool grief, be cool - wait why are you even trying to impress peter?
when the polyhedron dies - because she is alive, and she is dying - andrey is lost to senseless violence. he doesn't believe artemy's confession because that would mean killing grief's childhood friend. it's easier to be angry at thirty faceless men. we also know that grief is... NOT WELL, after the whole thing with aglaya. grief is sitting at a staircase (THE staircase that once wasn't here) and he stays there until it's dark, until it's light again. andrey finds him, drunk out of his goddamn mind, probably guided there by all the twyrine in his system. it's unsettling to not see her when he reaches the top, it's unsettling to not see grief as well. what can two broken men do but weep? they whisper to each other. come with me, let's kill them all. it's not worth it, nothing is anymore. i'll go without you. you'll die. do you care?
there's stuff i missed, stuff that probably doesn't make sense, i'm writing this at 6 am in a frenzy of angrief feelings because i love them. i love this ask, i had to reply or i wouldn't sleep. what happens after the game is a wonder to me as well. i've said before somewhere that p1 grief is who p2 grief could become after the diurnal ending. andrey is also going to struggle with his place in the world, mourning the loss of a perfect tower that can never be reproduced, of brilliance and hard work, probably mourning the loss of his brother too, not to the pest but to love. peter has grace now and i think that will be jarring, not being the only family peter has. the twins have only ever had each other, is andrey falling behind? how will he catch up? can he? twins are perfect opposites, he says: it's only natural that when peter starts to improve, andrey begins to degenerate
but i like to be hopeful, because i like these characters a lot (i know u would never be able to tell xoxo). two negatives make a positive, so maybe andrey and grief can be miserable together, and maybe then they'll realize that love is fit for bastards too
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MY LOVE MINE ALL MINE || GOJO SATORU X GN!READER
my jjk masterlist || my cod masterlist
ao3 link to this fic
Word counter – 2.7k-ish
Tags/Warnings – JJK MANGA SPOILERS, BEWARE; Established relationship with Gojo; Reader is implied to be one of the teacher’s at Tokyo Jujutsu High; angst, hurt/no comfort; off-screen character death; reader is in their late twenties; slightest bit of implied satosugu.
Summary – After the battle subsides, you’re left with the painful realization that your beloved Satoru will not be back.
A/n – when character death got me tweaking so bad i gotta write a fic about grief. i'm still looking for my jjk audience, so please, consider liking, reblogging and following if you liked this fic! thank you!
It’s quiet. Painfully so. Not around, but inside you. You can hear the people around you talking, discussing, debating. Some nonsense that you did not care about, about cursed techniques, about the battle that was finally over. Loud, warm, homey. Alive.
You’re not blind. You see the youth exchange warm gazes, smiles tugging on their cracked lips, dimples decorating their soft cheeks. Seeing them breathing, cherishing every second that got gifted to them by your Satoru… You wanted to be happy that it was all over. You truly wanted to.
You’re not blind. But you wish you were. Because the jealousy, burning you up from the inside out, nudges you towards the thoughts of regret. Regret that Sukuna did not rip or burn your eyes out like he could. You did not wish to see anybody. Not when you have a lover to bury. Not when you couldn’t even say goodbye to him properly.
You shouldn’t be feeling that way, you keep telling yourself in your mind. So many sorcerers died along the way, so many of them alone, desperate and scared, Gojo was no different from them. You stopped feeling the earth-shattering sadness at the news of fatal mission failures a long time ago. You thought you had become jaded, indifferent to it, feeling bitter dullness swell up in your chest each time, instead of razor-sharp incisions on your cold heart. It fueled a fear in you, the one you thought to be foolish and immature, when you could die a whole variety of ways each time you get assigned a mission.
Inescapable anxiety and terror would bubble and simmer deep inside of you at the prospect of becoming older, have been for a long time; that came with understanding that the older you’ll get – the more deaths of your friends and acquaintances, final wishes and pure grief there will be for you to shoulder along the way. Either until you join them, or until it is only you walking the unforgiving path of sorcery.
Satoru…he was your heart. Truly, there was no other word you could describe him with. It was never quiet around him. And how could it ever have been, when his presence, loud and vast as an ocean, but at the same time easy and light as a sunlit morning, shushed your worries; playful and warm much like all the summers you two spent together.
You knew of all the demons and worries plaguing his heart, and you came to terms with the fact that he’d probably never fully open up to you. That you’d never understand him like…someone you two once knew. Rivers upon rivers of water had run under a bridge since then. You were fine with that. All you wanted was just to be close to him, to ease his loneliness in any way you could, and for him to be your sun. To be your heart.
You’ve always thought that the pain of losing him would be like a dagger striking right between your ribs. You two were sorcerers, the topic of death came up somehow naturally. For anyone else it would’ve been strange, making the relationship have an odd, sour aftertaste, but not when you had brushes with death on an almost weekly basis. Sooner or later, one of these risky situations make you realize that one day you won’t be so lucky. Why only you? Well, Satoru is…was Satoru. It went without saying that he wouldn’t be the first to die. Even if he didn’t say much on the topic when it came out, instead opting to listen to your reflections.
Satoru heard it all – how scared you were of growing helpless and frail with age, how you were terrified of dying earlier than what was intended for you. Grasping at his shoulders, with hot tears drenching your face, you’d stutter out how you wouldn’t want him to put his life on hold to grieve. How, if you were in his place, you wouldn’t know how to bear the incomprehensible and inescapable feeling of pain from losing him.
Turns out, you can’t feel your heart when it gets ripped out completely.
“It won’t happen for a long time to come, okay? I’ll make sure of it.” Satoru would whisper into your ear, soothing and gentle, unlike his usual bubbly and airy façade. Opening his caring, gentle side to you, shedding the mask of nonchalance and ease he wore like armor upon him every exhausting day.
You feel something in your chest clench painfully at the memory of his radiant smile, always there, on his face, when you needed to see it most. You’d give anything right about now just to see him beam at you and then give your lips a playful peck, before caging you in his incredibly strong arms. Even mere thoughts about it make the burn in your eyes and in the back of your throat almost uncontainable.
The sadness, coiling in the depths of your chest and stomach, climbs up into your head, and no matter how hard you try to, you cannot shush your mind when inevitable questions start arising while your gaze is attached to the floor in your lingering post-battle stupor.
“Why do they get to live? Why did Satoru get to be the one to die? He had wishes, he had a life, he had ambitions and love too. Why was he the one to be killed by Sukuna?” all these questions haunt your mind, swarming your brain like a locust plague, and you just…let them. You can’t feel anything besides a gaping, limitless void where your heart used to be just hours ago. Where Satoru used to sit, cozily tucked right behind your sternum.
You know the answer. Of course, you do. But, the wound is too raw, red, angry and stinging for you to rationalize the maddening vortex of feelings inside of you. To hell with trying to make everything around you make sense. To hell with all that caused Satoru to sacrifice himself, so early and so needlessly…
Is what you would say if you didn’t care about Satoru himself enough to satisfy his dying wish. You still remember one of the last conversations you had with him before his destiny was decided for him by his immense power.
“In case something happens and I… Please, just take care of our students.” Satoru’s eyes, that in the past month so rarely glowed with his previous warmth and gentleness now had a sorrowful, even apologetic look to them. You can feel your throat tightening up, the dam about to burst. All the tears you haven’t shed, just because you didn’t want to bother him, so he could focus on making sure his chances of making it back into your arms after the duel are bigger. Yet now, you couldn’t stop the onslaught of violent, shaky sobs, along with rivers of scorching tears pouring down your face. You can barely hear Satoru call your name through your miserable haze. “Hey, why are you crying?”
Suddenly, all the noise around you comes to a halt. You don’t notice anything for a few seconds, submerged into your world of saccharine memories, gentle smiles and lulling touches. It takes you a moment to feel multiple pairs of eyes directed at you, their gazes being…much more unwanted than you cared to admit. Perhaps you were asked a question you do not have the strength or desire to answer.
You don’t hear what you’re asked. Instead, you raise your eyes and mumble a response at Yuta. The one who didn’t let Satoru’s body rest. You knew that the situation demanded that, and you shouldn’t blame him… that Satoru wouldn’t want you to blame the boy. But in your heart, you still felt that hopeless, wretched ache for your one and only. Even in death, he couldn’t rest because of his power. Even in death, he couldn’t be respected and left alone. You wanted to scream until your throat is sore and bloody.
“Where is Satoru?” Your voice is soft and barely audible, even though everyone around you is silent. Not even a single word about Gojo’s death. Like he was never there. Like there wasn’t a gaping wound left in your chest with his departure. You can see the students exchanging quick glances, not sure if it’s a good idea to tell you, could feel the concern and pity seeping from them and hitting you like daggers. Obviously, you appeared unstable to them. Unpredictable. Broken.
It’s already been days since the battle finished, and these days already felt like a whole eternity passed. An eternity since you felt the warmth of his lips, heard the twinkle of his lighthearted laugh. All these days you were just…there. Unmoving and silent husk of your former self. Expecting something, anything to happen. You were not willing to wait any longer to say goodbye to him. Your patience was exhausted. You were exhausted.
“It’s best if you…” Yuta started, timid and a bit unsure if it’s his place to speak, before being rudely interrupted by Shoko.
“His body is in the school’s morgue. I’ll bring you there.” Her hands still in her pockets, Ieiri glides over, giving you a knowing look. A look you, regrettably, have seen years and years before. Your eyes then meet with her extended, pale hand as you lower your head. A couple of seconds is what it takes for you to finally gather your thoughts together and put your own palm into Shoko’s. Her arm pulls you up from the chair, surprising strength hiding in her thin, sickly figure, and you appreciate it; you could not have gotten up on your own, from how drained of life you were.
The walk to the morgue is long and quiet, full of silent understanding, in spite of the enormous distance that seemed to lie between you and Shoko. With each passing second, you could feel the ringing in your ears get louder and more insistent. Saying goodbye to him was the only thing on your shattered, disoriented mind. You couldn’t find it in yourself to find happiness in the gentle rays of sun illuminating the school grounds, puffy and feathery clouds moving across the sky that reminded you so painfully of Satoru’s eyes.
Brown stains of dried, flaking blood covered multiple spots on the white sheet covering Satoru, swiftly bringing you back from tuning out the world around, submerging yourself in what felt like a water bubble, depriving and protective. Dark blooms of mahogany spreads across the midsection, a light dusting of it covering an uneven line across the surface of his face, obscured by the off-white fabric. Ieiri’s gloved hands pick up the edge of it, slow, precise motions drawing it out, turning the moment you’ve been waiting for so long into torture. Everything slows down when you watch her lift the sheet up, piece by piece, revealing the body of your beloved.
Every single sense you possess seems to be drawn to your unveiled beloved. The frost-ridden space of morgue around you feels even colder than before. It is lost on you how you don’t fall down to the floor immediately, but keep your balance and instead only lightly stumble over your feet towards the metal bed where his body rests in its perfect, if a bit tarnished, glory.
“I’ll leave you to it.” Shoko whispers, not to disturb the mournful air surrounding you, slowly reaching towards her with its suffocating presence. You nod, swallowing back everything you wanted to say. Every single thought that was threatening to come out of your mouth, with each second of Ieiri’s presence ticking by. But before you hear the morgue’s door screech and click, you feel Shoko’s palm on your shoulder. Warm, slim fingers squeeze around it, trying to give you much needed reassurance, comfort. Cauterize the raw, bleeding wound in your heart. It doesn’t help the pain, only momentarily dulls it. Your trembling hand that only a moment ago was reaching out towards Satoru finds Ieiri’s hand. You truly wished to know how you managed to muster up the strength to rub her dry, flaming skin in response instead of breaking down right in front of her.
The hand promptly lifts off your shoulder as Ieiri walks away, low heels clicking on the floor, where the sorcerer blood still sticks in-between the tiles, a crude, snapping reminder of everyone who’s been lost.
Finally, your eyes find their way to his face, as shaky fingers grip the edge of the cool metal underneath Satoru. If you squint with your watery eyes, it almost looks like he’s finally sleeping, peaceful and serene. It was rare you got to watch him rest like that. Unthinking, you reach out towards his hair, brushing it over the rough ridges and bumps that formed the stitches on his forehead, trying to hide the raw, torn skin beneath. “I’m sorry. I know, he didn’t mean it, love.” You whisper, apologizing for what was done to him in desperation to win the battle. Because you know that Yuta won’t. A wave after wave of nauseating misery washes over you in a heart-wrenching storm, as your eyes water, tiny droplets falling from your eyes uncontrollably.
Satoru’s snowy eyelashes flutter like moths, casting tiny shadows over his flushed cheeks in the low, warm light of the room, and your heart swells when you finally hear his breathing even out. Asleep, at last. You can’t help yourself when your hand finds its way into his silky hair, twirling the soft strands in your fingers. You glance down and notice a corner of his mouth twitch upwards.
Squeezing his cold, stiff hand, unmoving by the merciless touch of rigor mortis, you can’t feel your legs, doubled over his restful form. You can’t feel anything, but the freezing air around and your own weight dragging you down to embrace Satoru. Unmoving and devoid of life. Asleep at last.
The hope that saying goodbye to him will lift the herculean weight of grief off your shoulders dissipates into thin strands of smoke as you relentlessly sob your eyes out, thoughts pleading for something, anything that would give you reassurance that he knew he was not alone at the moment of his death. Fingers digging into his bloodied, torn clothes, scorching tears melting into his frozen skin; there is no relief or salvation in this, only slow descent into despair, dark, senseless and empty, just like anything is without Satoru by your side.
For a split moment, you could almost sense someone’s arms, solid and warm, gently hug you from behind, carefully lifting up your heavy heart. It feels pleasant and mellow, comforting and…right. The relief is barely discernible, but it’s there, nonetheless. Tears pour even harder as your throat can’t seem to stop closing and hurting with every hysterical sob that is torn out from you, the more of that warmth seeps into you from an unknown source.
The welcome solace vanishes just as quickly as it comes over you, and once again, you’re left completely alone to mourn Satoru.
You were scared of getting older. But in that moment, you wished for nothing more than to grow old with Satoru. To match his snow-white hair with silvers of your own. Revel in the comfort of his presence. Hold his wrinkled hand. Abandon Jujutsu world forever, run away to the farthest corner of the world just to never hear another word of cursed techniques, domains or cursed spirits.
But it’s not something Satoru could’ve or even would’ve ever done. You knew him, he’d rather die than abandon his duty as the strongest, to which you have clear proof right in front of you. Because if he’s not the strongest, then what is he? He could never answer this question. But you could.
Forever giving pieces of himself away to anyone who’ll accept. Chipping, carving, cutting at his flesh, bleeding himself dry, until there was nothing left to give. Having so much love to give, yet never having anyone to truly relate to. Working himself to the bone, exhausting every resource available for people that never cared for him, wished to understand him or grieved for him.
Because what fool mourns a weapon that has fulfilled its purpose, even if it lies in pieces?
You.
You’re that fool.
And until the end of your days you will remain one. Because for you, he was not a weapon. He was not another one of your colleagues, and he was not even “the strongest sorcerer ever born”.
He was just Satoru. Your Satoru.
check out this masterlist for more jjk fics or send me a request/comment!
#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk gojo#jjk spoilers#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#jjk satoru#satoru gojo#gojou satoru x reader#jjk fanfic#jjk angst#jujutsu kaisen x gn!reader#jujutsu kaisen x you
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this post is a long rant about family drama so uh. buyer reader beware
so. context. i'm currently staying recreationally at my great grandparents' house with my mom, three younger siblings, and my family's dog. living here currently is my great grandfather (alias: ned), great grandstepmother (alias: doretta), and doretta's thirty-something granddaughter (alias: kylie). we arrived here july 6th.
additional background: in the two weeks before we arrived, kylie's car (which ned and doretta bought for her, used) started having some trouble and needed to be taken to a mechanic. when pressed about why by ned, she said it was fine. when he continued pressuring her about it, she got inordinately upset about it and claimed he was 'yelling' at her (he wasnt). lacking a usable car for the meantime, kylie borrowed ned and doretta's van. she was driving it for less than a week when she crashed and totalled it. im not positive, but my mom and i are both pretty sure she was intoxicated at the time. this was all before we arrived.
at this point in the rant i think it would be much improved if you listened to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_FwZ6E5adA
so, as for our stay here. everything was fine for the first couple of days, but one morning (july 9th, to be specific) i left my little plague doctor squishable on the floor near the bed, where it had fallen overnight. i left the door open, with the plague doctor plush in view of the door. my family (and doretta, separately) went out for a few hours. when we came back, nothing seemed amiss. when i went to bed that night, however, i realized the plague doctor plush was completely missing. freaking out a bit --less about not having it and more about why it would be missing--, i chalked it up to a few possibilities.
--this one requires a lot of context but was 100% confirmed false near immediately--
family dog took it somewhere out of sight
kylie stole it
doretta took it (my thought process was: shes very conservative, i present male, and maybe a 'male' adult shouldnt have plushies in her opinion)
the next morning (july 10th), i brought this up to my mom and two of my siblings. we ruled out option 4 after doretta said she didnt take it (she wouldnt lie about it), and virtually ruled out option 2 after not finding it anywhere the dog could have put it (its a somewhat small house).
we had fun things planned that day, so we went out and did those. we were gone for about 11 or 12 hours. on the drive back, i discussed the plague doctor plush situation with my mom. after talking about this in front of my three siblings, the youngest spoke up that she had seen it on kylie's bed when kylie had gone to the bathroom with her door left open. my mom and i somewhat-angrily agreed that it was most likely that kylie had stolen it. we decided not to pursue this, as it was late and we were all tired.
this morning, we begrudgingly relayed this theory to doretta, who considered it a bit ridiculous (citing the fact that kylie is a grown adult in her 30s). she asked kylie --through her bedroom door, how personal-- if she had the plush in her room. kylie, of course, denied this. doretta decided that was the end of the line of questioning.
later, kylie took a bag of trash out to the garbage bins. incidentally, kylie then feigned ignorance about my accusations and offered to let me search through her room for the plush. worried that we had shown our hand too early and she was trying to dispose of the evidence, i told doretta in private that i was going to look through the garbage. doretta found this idea ludicrous, and insisted that i go look through kylie's room personally. i insisted that i at least check through the garbage bag. doretta was upset by this, and went to go do so herself. i then went to kylie and half-heartedly told her searching her room wasnt necessary after all, as "if it was in there, [she] would know."
the trash revealed no plush whatsoever. doretta was fairly disgruntled about this, and once again urged me to go search kylie's room. i declined, and laid out my thoughts on it very clearly: either it wasnt in her room to begin with, and thus searching it wouldnt be necessary; or she had stolen it, hidden it upon realizing i was onto her, and that searching her room would be fruitless. doretta, in an almost out-of-character moment (shes the archetypal karen, very stubborn about things she believes shes right about), agreed to drop the 'searching kylie's room while she's there' angle. at my insistence, doretta agreed to search kylie's room when she went to work today.
kylie, despit having a shift scheduled, did not go to work today.
no further developments occurred until just an hour or two ago. while lazily watching something on the discovery channel, i overheard kylie speaking loudly over the phone to someone and packing something into a box and a garbage bag. verbatim, she said "who are these guys, they're just bending the truth". this could have possibly been some unrelated interpersonal drama, but i had doubts and kylie --who my family has not met in person in an extremely long time-- had voiced complaints about my family's presence to doretta and ned earlier during the week. halfheartedly playing subway surfers on my phone, i saw as kylie left her bedroom with the things she had packed and, watching from a window, saw her put said things in the back of her car.
i went to my mom and explained this to her, and we went with some hesitation to explain this information to doretta. once we had finished, she became visibly frustrated about my 'conspiracy theories' (which is rich coming from a women who owns multiple books about how the democratic party is full of evil government-disrupting communists) and offered to simply replace the plague doctor plush.
a murder mystery where the judge offers to clone the victim and declares the defendant --their granddaughter-- not guilty. so ends the life and times of meridia, the first plague doctor plushie, but seemingly not the last.
my family are packing up and leaving for another family member's house tomorrow, significantly ahead of schedule.
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— after dark
pairing: wednesday addams x fem!oni!reader
warnings: graphic descriptions of gore and violence, angst, self - injury
summary: the demon doesn't think herself deserving enough — every single time she touches wednesday, she does so with bated breath, as if the girl is made of porcelain
word count: 3.4k
The Weather Wane tended to be crowded on weekend afternoons, but Wednesday found herself enjoying the calm atmosphere of the coffee shop, lucky enough to only share the space with some old couple and a few teenagers. She sat in the corner by the window, reading a copy of Dracula, the only sound accompanying her being the quite chatter of other patrons that she quickly tuned down and the shuffling of the yellowed pages when she turned them.
(Y/n), on the other hand, seemed restless. She was sitting next to Wednesday, having long since finished her coffee, her arm draped over the seat, brows furrowed as she glared daggers at the barista working behind the counter. The poor guy had already caught her death stare once or twice as he kept glancing at the pair, averting his eyes quickly with a small shiver before returning to scrubbing at the coffee machine nervously. It seemed like he had something to say to the small ravenette, but with the seething oni basically burning holes into him, growling intimidatingly, it was akin to sneaking over a garden fence that clearly had a ‘beware of the angry dog’ sign plastered over it.
It wasn't like (Y/n) had anything personal against Tyler, she supposed. He didn't seem like a bad guy — hell, he didn't seem like anything at all. There was nothing special or out of ordinary about him. But, as the oni's gaze flicked down to Wednesday's face, her mind started to drift.
What if ordinary was what was best for the gloomy girl?
She was into weird things, of course, but... Being with a human would've been much more safe for her. It would've been a balanced relationship, and she wouldn't have to deal with some of the demonic trais (Y/n) knew vexed Wednesday to no end. Humans did have their own exasperating habits too, but in no way could they be compared to eating raw meat, growling in one's sleep or turning into a ferocious beast every Blood Moon.
Wait. When had (Y/n)'s thoughts taken such a drastic turn? She didn't like wallowing in self — doubt. She was an oni from a powerful bloodline with strong heritage, no human could ever best that. Besides, that bloodline consisted of demons and samurais. She could definitely protect Wednesday when needed.
"(Y/n), are you listening?"
Snapping out of her daze, the oni tilted her head to look at the Addams girl who was plaguing her thoughts, “Hm?”
"I asked if you wanted to take the longer route back to Nevermore. Night would probably befall us half — way... I'll hold your hand so you don't get lost." Wednesday muttered softly, looking up from her book.
The oni grinned, hand moving to tuck a stray lock of raven hair behind Wednesday's ear, her clawed finger gently tracing the smaller girl's cheekbone before she pulled away, "Sure. That'd be great."
Yeah. Yeah, she was pretty great. Eat that, Tyler Galpin.
"Have you decided on the movie yet, (Y/n)?"
The demon groaned at the question, draping her blanket over her head to try and avoid answering.
"I did not," came the muffled response, "I'm having a hard time finding something to your liking that's not going to make me fall asleep halfway through."
"I'll watch whatever you like. I don't care."
"But I do!" (Y/n) shook the fluffy blanket off, her (h/c) hair emerging disheveled, and looked up at the ravenette with a pout, "I want you to actually enjoy what you're watching, not have to sit it through for my sake."
"I really don't care." The ravenette emphasized.
The demon sighed, her clawed finger sliding over the touch pad as she scrolled through the catalogue,
"Fine. But don't complain when it's too cheesy or stupid for you."
It was always like this with Wednesday on movie nights — she'd insist she had no preference, then the second the movie (Y/n)'d choose started, she'd grumble about it. They had watched most of the good horror movies that existed, the girls' favorites being Silence of the Lambs, Saw and Carrie, but the oni's mood would sometimes long for something less macabre, much to Wednesday's displeasure.
Running her hands through her wet hair, the ravenette grabbed her brush and moved to sit on her side of the bed, squinting to take a better look at the screen.
"... Breakfast Club?" She read with a frown, and her gaze slid over to the demon's face, "Are you doing this on purpose?"
"But it's really good! And it has a cool dance scene I thought you might enjoy... " (Y/n) sighed, looking back at the laptop sadly, "Or, you know... We could always rewatch Pulp Fiction again if you want to."
Wednesday sighed tiredly before putting the brush on her nightstand, lying down next to (Y/n) and grabbing her arm to pull the limb to her chest, albeit a little roughly, entwining her slender fingers with the oni's.
"Start the movie." She mumbled finally.
"Wha— really?"
"Start the wretched movie before I change my mind, (Y/n)."
The demon grinned, snuggling closer to the grumpy ravenette. She clicked on the movie poster and pressed space, then rest her cheek on top of Wednesday's head, sighing in content.
"But next time we're watching Tusk."
"No, Wednesday."
The first time Wednesday noticed it, she thought she was seeing things — maybe it had been the lighting, or her imagination playing tricks, but the ravenette didn't really pay it too much thought. She was used to visions haunting her, after all.
They were in class, a few minutes before their break would end, and (Y/n) sat backwards in her chair, elbows resting on the back as she talked to Enid and Yoko at the desk behind her, while Wednesday busied herself with her herbology assignment, having taken a habit of doing all her school stuff at least a week ahead.
At some point the lively conversation died, and the ravenette noticed it was just the vampire and the werewolf talking amidst themselves. (Y/n) was completely silent.
Turning in her seat to glance at the oni, Wednesday saw the demon looking back at her already, chin resting on her arms. Her head was titled a bit, and her (e/c) eyes glistened with fondness, but much to the smaller girl's surprise, the usual slits were absent — (Y/n)'s pupils were widened, taking up her whole sclera.
"Is something wrong?" Wednesday asked, a bit bashful under the gaze.
"No," (Y/n) denied through her lazy smile, "You're just really pretty. I like looking at you. Is that wrong?"
Color dusted Wednesday's pale cheeks lightly, and she turned back to her notes, "It's not, I suppose."
Huh. What an interesting trait. She wondered what the cause of it was.
It happened again when the girls were at Wednesday’s dorm, going over the ravenette’s investigation. (Y/n) was standing in the middle of the room, watching the smaller girl gesture at her hand – made chart, different photos of people, newspapers records and some of her own written notes were spread around the board, neatly arranged.
“Do you know what this means, (Y/n)?” She asked, pushing the papers into the demon’s hands, pointing at the picture, then walking back to her chart, “These are not just some mindless murders, he’s collecting trophies, like a seasoned serial killer. It’s quite impressive, actually.” Wednesday rambled heatedly before turning around to face the other girl, ready to hear her opinion on the case – but the oni wasn’t looking at the papers.
Her gaze was focused on the ravenette, a small grin on her lips, and her slit pupils were widened so much Wednesday swore she could see her own reflection in the orbs.
“... (Y/n). Are you listening?”
“Uh - huh. Yeah. Something something mindless murders, yeah...”
Coming up to stand before the taller girl, Wednesday snapped her fingers in front of her face, successfully waking her demon up from her daze.
"Yeah, sorry. I'm listening." (Y/n) blinked, looking down at the photographs in her hands, and Wednesday watched her pupils become slitted again.
Wednesday hated making out. Everything about it was gross to the girl, from the unhygienic exchange of bacteria to the awful feeling of being so close to another living being. But making out with her demon girlfriend... That was something completely different, and Wednesday found it becoming a perfect stress relief, her favorite past – time activity, something to look forward every time they were alone.
(Y/n) sighed into Wednesday’s lips as her hold on the girl’s waist tightened, pulling her closer where Wednesday straddled her on the bed. The ravenette slid her palms up to the demon’s shoulders, then up her neck, cold fleeting touch leaving goosebumps in its wake, and rested her hands on her powerful jaw. She pulled away, a small string of saliva between their mouths, and her tongue licked over the demon’s big tusks. (Y/n) whined, making Wednesday smile.
When her gaze slid from the oni’s lips up to her eyes, she found the puzzling sight again – (Y/n)’s pupils wide and round as she watched Wednesday, dazed and breathing heavily. Pressing her hands to the girl’s cheeks, the ravenette leaned in to take a closer look.
“(Y/n), your eyes...” she said quietly, “Did you know they do this?”
“Huh?” the demon slurred in reply, not really focusing on the question, “Do what?”
“Your pupils, they get... bigger sometimes. Especially when... When you look at me...” Wednesday trailed off, the realisation hitting her suddenly.
It seemed like the same thing had happened to (Y/n), as the demon’s face turned red and she averted her gaze, draping an arm over her eyes, “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she mumbled, embarrassed.
The ravenette sighed, grabbing the oni’s hand to pull it away from her face, “Are you getting shy on me now? Don’t be silly,” she pressed a small kiss to (Y/n)’s nose, chuckling at the way it scrunched under her gentle touch, “It’s a common thing for most felines, actually. Are you a kitten, perhaps?”
“Oh my God, stop.” (Y/n) groaned, hiding her face in her palms.
Wednesday ran through the woods, completely out of breath. Her legs hurt, knees bleeding where she scraped them from falling, and she could barely see where she was going, the night air nipping at her skin and urging her forward. The forest was almost silent – the heaviness of danger hung in the air, making all the wilderness hold its breath.
How long had she been running? Why did the forest seem so endless and dark, like a pit with nothing but void awaiting in the end?
The girl heard a loud roar behind her and picked up pace as much as her tired legs could allow her. Deep down she knew she would never win this chase. It was natural — prey was always meant to be caught by the predator.
Loud growls paired with sounds of leaves crunching under heavy limbs made her realise the creature was catching up. Gathering the last bits of her strength, Wednesday pushed herself to her limits, rushing forward to try and blend in the dark trees.
A flash of (e/c) eyes and huge tusks, and the ravenette went tumbling down on the ground. The demon knocked her off her feet and sent her flying on the forest floor, pining Wednesday to it with her talons painfully sinking into her sides. The ravenette winced, looking up at the furious creature who opened her toothy maw with an animalistic growl, staring down at the small human with heavy breaths. The oni's gaze was absolutely insane — there were no traces of humanity, no traces of (Y/n), warm and soft and full of adoration when Wednesday used to look at her.
Only monstrous hunger remained.
The demon didn't waste any time to bare her tusks, spit dripping as she lowered her head to finally put an end to their cat-and-mouse game. Wednesday grabbed at the monster's face, arms straining as she tried to push the creature away, but her frail hands were barely an obstacle to the demon — the oni's powerful jaws locked on her neck sharply, a loud crunching sound followed, and the creature jerked her head away forcefully, biting a chunk of flesh off the ravenette's throat.
A gargled sound left Wednesday's mouth, a scream muffled by blood gushing out, and she choked on the liquid, fingers digging at the soil around her as her chest contacted in pitiful attempts to gather up air.
Her widened eyes met the wild gaze of the predator above her, and her mouth moved, trying to get something out. Scarlet spilled instead of words, making her choke again, and after a few seconds of painful breaths the girl’s body went completely still.
The demon swallowed the warm meat, licking her lips pleasantly. She grinned, her teeth bloody, and dipped her head again to take another big bite from the delicious dish.
When (Y/n) awoke, she shot up in her bed, a gasp leaving her lips as she tried to steady her breathing.
She looked around, realising she was in her dorm, and not in the forest. It was still dark, and the only light was coming from the window, the moon shining amidst the gloomy sky illuminating her room in a soft glow. She stared down at her lap with widened eyes, palms grasping her blanket in a death grip.
Trying to swallow around the lump in her throat, she pressed her hands against her forehead and her shoulders shook.
Wednesday.
(Y/n) turned her head sharply — the small girl was sleeping soundly beside her, chest rising and falling with gentle breaths, and the demon felt bile rise up her throat.
God. She dreamt of eating her girlfriend. A being that now laid in the demon's bed, completely defenseless and fragile, trusting (Y/n) with her life more than anyone else.
Tearing the blanket off her body and stumbling to her feet, (Y/n) swayed, hitting her side against the desk, and her breathing turned erratic as the girl started to hyperventilate. She grabbed at her head, fingers carding through the (h/c) tresses, and the oni's claws slid down her face, leaving raw bleeding gashes that healed instantly. So the oni clawed at her cheeks again, again and again between choked breaths and pathetic hoarse whines escaping her throat, tears sliding down her chin and mixing with blood in a salty red river.
(Y/n) felt like screaming. She felt like clawing her eyes out, burying her fingers in the sockets of her skull and crushing them to never see the light of the day again.
She didn't deserve to.
Her legs gave out and the oni slid down to the wooden floor, leaning her head against the side of the desk. (Y/n) grabbed at her chest, talons piercing through the fabric of her shirt, wishing her heart would stop hurting. The girl wanted to rip it out of her own ribcage.
A soft touch on her back made the demon shiver, and she looked over her shoulder to find Wednesday sitting on her knees, hand outstretched and gently pressing into (Y/n)'s shaking form. Her expression was calm but in the darkness of her eyes swirled worry.
"Wed- Wednesday... Wednes... day, I... " The oni tried to speak through her quiet gasps and hiccups unsuccessfully.
"I'm here," came soft and quiet reassurance from the ravenette, "I'm right here, (Y/n)."
Clawed hands grasped at Wednesday's arms, and the demon hanged her head, face burying in the smaller girl's chest as she shook, tears coming in a seemingly unstoppable flow. Wednesday hugged the demon closer to herself, hands resting on her back, slender fingers tracing mindless circles there.
She didn't speak again.
“Wednesday? What’s going on?” (Y/n) walked into the ravenette’s half - empty dorm to see the girl gathering her things around the room.
“I was expelled, (Y/n).” Wednesday deadpanned calmly without looking at the demon.
“W... What?”
“It’s the condition Sheriff Galpin imposed in exchange for him not pressing charges. I’m going home.”
“No, this is... This is ridiculous,” the demon felt a lump forming in her throat as she stepped closer to Wednesday, watching her pack her suitcase orderly, “I can talk to Weems. I’m sure she’ll understand, you don’t have to- “
“The decision’s already been made,” Wednesday interrupted, stacking her books in a pile, face completely impassive, “It seems I’ve lost.”
The demon pressed her clawed hands on the typewriter case when the smaller girl moved to grab the handle, “And you’re just going to leave like this?” she asked, frustrated, “When he’s out there, parading around the town as if he’s not a monstrous killer?”
“It does exasperate me, but,“ Wednesday averted her eyes, looking down at the floor, “Xavier’s right. If I’m not here... The prophecy won’t come true.”
“If you’re not here, this stupid school is done for,” (Y/n) grumbled, “But there’s one thing I can promise you. If Tyler ever shows his face around here, they’ll be scraping hyde intestines off the fucking walls.”
Wednesday didn’t reply. Her sagged shoulders straightened again, and the ravenette stepped away to gather what remained of her stuff, “I’ve known not to trust people all my life for the sake of not being let down, but... In the end, I was the one to disappoint everyone.”
“That’s bullshit,” the demon girl snapped, rushing after Wednesday and grabbing her by the hands, turning her around to face her, “You were the most intelligent, cunning and bold person around here. No one could ever compare.”
The demon’s voice shook slightly, and she pressed her blunt tusks into her bottom lip to stifle a sob, inhaling through her mouth with a hiss, before continuing, “You... you taught me to accept myself. To live without feeling unworthy of life. You were here, through thick and thin, by my side, even when I least deserved it...”
She stopped speaking for a moment, closing her eyes. Wednesday opened her mouth to reply, but then the warm grip on her palms tightened, and (Y/n) looked at her again.
“I love you, Wendesday.”
Wednesday’s dark pools of grey widened, and she felt emotions overwhelm her. Suddenly, the realisation came crushing down like a tidal wave – it was the last time she was seeing the oni. She won’t get to feel her touch again, watch her sleep in the dead of night, won’t ever share a desk with her in class. The ravenette felt tears well up in her eyes, but she didn’t let them fall.
“If there is a single good thing Nevermore gave me... It’s you, (Y/n).”
Wednesday leaned closer to the taller girl, pressing her plush lips against (Y/n)’s, and the oni pulled her closer by the waist, desperately trying to grasp all the warmth of Wednesday’s body to herself. The demon’s heart fluttered every time she kissed the ravenette, as if she had never kissed her before, not being able to get used to the soft feeling of her lips, but the kiss they shared now felt like a sorrowful goodbye, and (Y/n) couldn’t fight a single tear sliding down her face.
When they parted, Wednesday’s heart clenched at the sight of the distraught demon, and she raised a pale hand to gently wipe the stray drop off her cheek, “Don’t cry,” she berated the oni girl gently.
“I’m sorry. I don’t want you to leave,” leaning into the cold touch, the demon sighed shakily, “Fuck. What will I do without you?”
“What you always do. Laugh at the most idiotic things obnoxiously, skip classes, growl at people and eat everything without discrimination.”
(Y/n) chuckled, pressing her forehead against Wednesday’s with a small watery grin, “What a charmer you are.”
They stayed like this for a few moments, reluctant to let go of each other, before the demon opened her eyes, “Can I see you to the station?”
The ravenette nodded.
#wednesday addams x reader#wednesday x reader#wednesday#wednesday 2022#wednesday netflix#wednesday imagine#wednesday x female reader#wednesday x you#wednesday x y/n
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Curriculum Vitae : Xiao, Venti, Albedo.
Synopsis: A relationship resume. Let's get inside the heads of all these characters!
Style: Cute, fluffy, informative.
Alert: Contains NSFW content (18+)
Characters: Xiao, Venti, Albedo.
Note: The rest of the CVs! Next: Kazuha, Childe, Thomas, Dainsleif, Razor or Scaramouche. I don't know yet if I will write about Itto, I didn't have a crush on the character...
Sorry for the absence, I'm completely down right now 😪
I started writing the continuation of the little "I promised you." fic, I need to write something about Diluc ❤️ However, I don't know if I write all the characters at once or if you prefer in a small group like with the CVs?
Reminder: the resumes are subject to change. I'll put a note in "Projects in progress and to come" when I've made changes.
Masterlist
Cv: Diluc, Zhongli, Kaeya.
In the beginning:
Similar to Zhongli, he would not understand right away that he is in love with you. He has never loved after all.
The only difference he would have with the old Geo Archon: he would run away from you like the plague. He doesn't want to be near you, what he feels scares him. He wants to be near you, he wants to see you, to touch you. But he is afraid. Afraid of himself, afraid of hurting you. His karmic debt could affect you too. He doesn't want to lose you. Why doesn't he want to lose you? He doesn't understand. He's always been alone, and that's the way it should stay.
Talk to him, be honest with your feelings, insist if you have to. The Yaksha will eventually open up to you and not run away from you anymore.
The beginning of your relationship would be platonic. He will not touch you, he will not talk much and will tend to be cold and distant. It makes you wonder if you are really in a relationship. Reassure him, be patient with him. He'll let you discover that sweet, gentle part of him that's hidden deep in his heart. The love he feels for you shines brightly in his amber eyes.
What he loves about you:
Your patience, love and kindness. Xiao knows that he is not easy to live with, he sometimes wonders why you chose him... Play an instrument or sing, and he will immediately be at your side to listen to you.
Your confidence in him destabilizes him. When you sit next to him to look at the sky, your head slowly leans on his shoulder to lean on it. Xiao finds his moments so moving, you seem so relaxed and calm when you are near him, his cheeks can't help but blush with happiness.
He loves your lips, every time you kiss him, he has this feeling that a weight is taken off his shoulders.
His hands are often on your waist or wrapped around it, his thumb will distractedly caress your clothed skin, he does this unconsciously so don't tease him with it, you might scare him away.
When you are asleep, Xiao keeps you in his arms. Your warmth is so comforting to him.
Smile at him, no matter what, and his heart will start beating wildly in his chest.
As for your looks, Xiao doesn't pay much attention to them. He'll probably have a slight preference for someone his own size or smaller, it's more a matter of equals. But he wouldn't mind if his partner was taller, he'd protect her with equal fervor.
He loves your hair, it doesn't matter if it's short, long, straight or curly, having his fingers in it makes him feel amazing.
What leads to arguments:
It's not complicated to argue with Xiao. He tends to get carried away quickly. He sometimes has harsh words with you, he realizes it only after seeing your hurt expression. You usually avoid yelling at him, after all, Xiao is a follower who has long lived with the idea that mortals are insignificant and ephemeral beings. Instead, you prefer to leave him alone with his thoughts to take refuge in solitude.
His faults:
Often hurtful with his words. Excessively jealous and possessive. He can sometimes seem cold and distant. Beware, he is an extremely stubborn boy.
His intimacy with you:
Once Xiao is used to your relationship, it will be easier for him to approach you. You may even be surprised at how much he craves your attention and tenderness.
Outside, Xiao will touch your hand with his fingertips to let you know he'd like to hold it. He has developed the habit of intertwining his fingers with yours, which gives him a sense of intimacy that he doesn't understand.
He often rests his forehead against yours, closing his eyes to simply savor the moment.
Xiao prefers actions to words, so to show his love for you, he will gently hold you. He treats you like the most precious and dearest person in the world. His arms will be around your waist, forcing you to hold on to him. His face will be buried in your neck, letting his lips worship your skin.
He sometimes takes you for a ride, lifting your body in his arms. He wants to show you all the wonders of the world.
When you lie down in bed, Xiao will lie beside you. Even though he doesn't sleep or sleeps very little, he likes to watch your sleeping face, you look so peaceful in your sleep, it fascinates him. He caresses your hair and follows the lines of your face with his index finger. He will make sure that no nightmare disturbs you.
Rarely will he start humming when you rest your head on his shoulder. His voice is soft and pleasant, your eyes will close peacefully to the echo of his song.
The beating of your heart against his ear is one of the few sounds in Teyvat that makes him sleep a nightmare-free sleep.
Those who can hope to see Xiao appear after calling him can be counted on the fingers of one hand. Whether you're in danger or not, call out his name and Xiao will be at your side.
Physical contact:
Xiao isn't averse to physical contact in public, he just has trouble getting started. Contrary to what he would have you believe, he is extremely shy! He is so gentle and affectionate, this fear of hurting you every time he touches you makes him pay attention to his every move. He can't help but silently take your hand in his as soon as you're outside, his fingers delicately entwining around yours.
Although hesitant, once you're home, he'll continue to seek out your touch, either by making you sit between his legs or by kissing the top of your head in a casual way.
By the time Xiao gets home, he is usually exhausted from the long night of fighting demons. The first thing he'll do when you enter his field of vision is to hug you before lazily resting his head against your shoulder. Feeling you against him soothes the pain in his body and heals his battered soul.
His favorite part of your body:
Your hands. He can't help but take them in his whenever he gets the chance. No matter what you do, his fingers will seek out yours to get tangled in them.
Your lips... They taste like a sweet dream.
Hot/cold:
It may seem extremely cold from the outside, some would even say that you don't get along at all. But you know better than anyone that Xiao is the most gentle and loving person on Teyvat.
He is more sensitive than he lets on...
His degree of love:
To him, you are the equivalent of a deity, though he never forgets your mortality. Having you by his side makes him strong, he forgets his sorrows and pains. He no longer hears the voices that plague him at every moment of his existence.
You are the light that guides him out of the darkness.
Date:
Xiao prefers quiet, uncivilized places. Appointments are usually impromptu. Xiao will lift you up in his arms and take you to a river for a walk or to a cliff top for lunch.
Husband:
A faithful and loving husband. He will be very protective of you, but in a gentler way than before. He knows his time with you is limited, so he will enjoy every moment with you. His passion for you won't fade, and as soon as you're both in the same room, his arms will wrap around you in a romantic embrace while his lips shower you with kisses. He'll make much more of an effort to go out on dates with you in the city, even though mortals still annoy him so much, with you around, everything is more bearable. But don't dream, marriage will not socialize him.
Dad:
Xiao does not know how to behave like a good father. In the eyes of others, he could even pass as cold towards his child. But his child loves him. As soon as his father comes home, he asks for him and Xiao willingly lets him cuddle him. Every gesture, every caress is a tender act that paints the sweetest smile on his face.
The first time he held his baby in his arms, silence filled the room. Only his eyes spoke volumes about his feelings. He felt an unconditional love for this little being.
Nickname:
Rarely gives nicknames, preferring to call you by your first name.
Rarely: My goddess, my love, my firefly.
NSFW:
How is he in bed? Preliminary:
Xiao's only goal is to give you pleasure. He has never known anyone before you, so he will be in quite awkward.
It is easy to excite him, a caress, a sensual look or a simple kiss can make him fall into a world of lust.
Xiao refuses to hurt you. He will treat you with the utmost respect and devotion. Most of the time, he will be very gentle in bed. Of course, he may lose himself in the pleasures of the flesh and become a little more rough.
Moreover, if you encourage him to go faster and harder, all his barriers will fall to be consumed by his desires.
Foreplay lasts a long time with Xiao. He doesn't do it on purpose, he loves to see you writhing in pleasure with the simple touch of his mouth on your breasts and his fingers teasing your G-spot, he doesn't see the time passing by.
Usually reserved, Xiao becomes extremely talkative when he makes you his. He can't stop talking about how he feels about you. He loves you, he finds you beautiful, he doesn't want to lose you, you are his most precious treasure... He will give himself to you with a devouring passion, kissing your lips whenever he can and worshipping your body like a goddess.
Xiao loves to take care of you with his mouth, but the first time he experienced your lips wrapped around his member was a real struggle for him against the raw pleasure that washed over him. He becomes very vocal, moaning loudly every time he feels you move up and down his member, wrapping your tongue around his tip. It takes a lot of willpower to keep him from getting too rough with you.
His favorite places:
Your bedroom or his. He obviously prefers closed and secure places, although he has already made you his once or twice in the Liyue plains. Don't remind him, he's ashamed enough as it is.
His favorite positions:
You've noticed that Xiao likes to hold you against a wall, hooking your legs around his waist as he hammers you. Sometimes he'll stick you face down on the wall to grab you from behind.
Stamina:
In his early days, Xiao didn't have much stamina, succumbing quickly to pleasure. However, he would quickly get back in shape to do another round.
After some time together, he would eventually build up the stamina to make you cum multiple times in one round, making your pleasure and his last long enough to leave you satiated until the next day.
Sound:
It's not uncommon to hear him moan or grunt in pleasure. But most of all, Xiao is a man who floods you with praise and love notes. This is the only time he gives himself to you without any barrier.
Size:
Don't be fooled by the size of his body. Xiao is a follower, a deity, he has what it takes or it takes!
Following:
Xiao will be very affectionate. He keeps you in his arms and caresses you tenderly while kissing you. He will massage your thighs and all the painful parts of your body. He doesn't want you to get out of bed and will prefer to clean you up himself before letting you sleep in his arms.
In the beginning:
Venti will quickly realize that he has feelings for you. Every time he sees you, his steps will quickly lead him back to you. He sings to you so often. He writes you so many poems. He courts you openly, sometimes giving you flowers or your favorite pastries. He'll be the first to declare his love for you.
From the beginning of your relationship, Venti is very sweet and loving, putting aside his teasing and pranks to pamper you. You are so precious to him. He wants to be honest and respect you as you deserve. He will quickly reveal to you that he is Barbatos, the Archon of Mondstadt.
For you, he is ready to make this body that is so dear to him age a few years.
What he loves about you:
The sense of freedom that you exude and your positivity. The fact that you accept everything from him makes him love you more. He knows he can be clingy and intrusive, but even so, you accept him.
You're even more cuddly than he is, and that's a feat in itself. Venti loves to cuddle, so when you take the initiative to hug him, he melts with love.
He thinks your hands are so cute and small compared to his.
No matter how artistic you are, whether it's singing, music, drawing, etc... Venti will be your first fan. You share a lot together, whether it's food, drinks, trinkets or even stories. Venti likes this complicity between the two of you, it allows him to become inked in you as you have done with him. You may sometimes get into his teasing game.
Sometimes you may unconsciously sway your hips when Venti starts playing the lyre. He finds this awfully cute and seductive.
You have little quirks that he finds adorable, like twirling a strand of your hair around your finger.
Surprising as it may seem, Venti loves it when you scold him. He knows that when you do it, it's only because you're worried about him, and that means a lot to him.
What leads to arguments:
You often blame him for drinking too much alcohol. You don't even know how he manages to get it, given the physical age he shows. The fact that he is completely indifferent to your anger annoys you even more.
His faults:
Clingy, intrusive, sometimes too teasing, but most of all, his addiction to alcohol annoys you more than anything.
His intimacy with you:
He is very cuddly. He can't help it, having you against him, feeling your warmth gives him a comfort he never thought he needed.
He spends a lot of time kissing you, Venti thinks your lips are the sweetest thing in the world.
Whether you're inside or outside, he'll show no modesty about his affection for you. He is capable of shouting his love for you in the streets before jumping on your neck and kissing you.
Venti may seem childish in his behavior, yet once he's alone with you, he changes dramatically. He becomes calmer and more attentive to your needs. He cares about you, about your feelings. He lets you know every day that he loves you. He is not stingy with his tenderness! Often, Venti will sit behind you, hugging your waist, just to put his head on your shoulder and kiss your neck or your jaw. His confidence in you is boundless, he confides everything to you. His past life, his remorse, his joys and sorrows.
Venti has taken the habit, in the evening, to sing you some poems. He knows that this relaxes you, his voice has a soothing effect on you and makes it easier for you to fall asleep. He can spend hours watching you sleep, it calms him to see you so serene as you doze on his lap or against his chest. He takes advantage of your sleep to whisper to you about how he feels about you.
He frequently lays his head on your thighs, saying there's no better place in the world to sleep. In reality, he just wants to admire your face from every angle.
He now lets you do his hair every morning. Every time you take care of his braids, his eyes are hypnotized by your gestures. His hands end up on your thighs, caressing them with a tender gesture.
Physical contact:
A fan of physical affection. He can't help but touch you as soon as he can!
He has no shyness, he does not hesitate to cuddle you in front of a crowd of passers-by or even your friends.
But when you are alone together, his caresses, his cuddles, his kisses, everything will be much more tender and affectionate.
When his arms wrap around your waist, his head rests on your shoulder. He softly whispers that he loves you, a thin smile painting his face before kissing your neck, your face and finally your lips.
One of Venti's habits is to intertwine his fingers with yours as you both walk through the streets of the city. He needs to feel your warmth before time takes him away forever.
Venti presses his face against your hand as you stroke his cheek or tuck a strand of hair back into place, reminding you of a cat in need of tenderness...
His favorite part of your body:
Your eyes. He thinks they reflect your soul perfectly. Soft, generous and free. He could drown in them because he finds them so beautiful. Also, your forehead and cheeks are his favorite parts of your body to kiss. He likes to see you blush every time he takes you by surprise with a kiss.
Hot/Cold:
Venti is a warm, playful boy who always sees the good in life. He knows how to make you smile when you're sad or just plain moody.
However, he can sometimes show you a darker side. That of a god who has lived several millennia, alone and bruised... and so sad.
His degree of love:
Venti offers himself to you in his entirety: his heart, his body, his soul.
His love for you will inspire the most beautiful poems, those that will remain forever in Teyvat's heart.
He will make his love for you eternal.
Date:
Most often, Venti will take you to Windrise for a picnic or just to bask in the shade of the big Venessa tree. He loves to compose ballads with you dozing on his shoulder.
He will sometimes take you to admire Cecilia's flowers.
Husband:
When Venti decided to marry you, he made the choice to let his body age. He will become more responsible and conscientious than before, he wants to prove himself worthy of you. Venti sincerely wants to start a family with you, so he doesn't want to be a dead weight on your shoulders. To help you support yourself, he will find a job related to what he does best: singing and writing poetry.
Even after many years of marriage, Venti will remain the same about physical affection. Having you in his arms and feeling your skin against his lips remains one of his favorite things in the world.
Dad:
A very cheerful and positive dad. Venti has always loved children, so he was immediately comfortable with his own. When he held his baby for the first time, the warm, gentle smile on his lips brought tears to your eyes.
He will always be the one who can easily soothe his child's cries, singing sweet lullabies to make him forget his fears and sorrows.
His child will inherit his talent for music and singing, sometimes organizing with his father some private concerts for you, and you only.
Nickname :
Belle, Biche, trésor, fleur.
NSFW:
How is he in bed? Preliminary:
Venti will be surprisingly gentle and sensual in bed, preferring to savor every caress and movement of your two naked bodies against each other.
His hands will slowly begin to wander over you, gradually moving under your clothes to the warmth of your skin. His lips will tease your neck and jaw before sensually claiming your lips. He likes to leave marks on your skin as proof of his love for you, so expect some hickey marks the next day. If there's one thing Venti likes to do to you, it's tease your breasts while his fingers work on your femininity with maddening slowness. He can't help but smile against your skin when he hears you begging him to go faster, but as soon as his eyes land on your flushed face, he'll stop his slow game and finally satisfy you.
Venti doesn't necessarily start foreplay with his fingers. He likes to lie on top of you before he starts rubbing his knee against your sex. The sounds you make with each of his movements make him a little more excited every minute. As soon as he feels you're wet enough, he'll start finishing you off with his mouth.
He loves oral, whether he's the giver or the receiver. He will take a lot of time to prepare you with his tongue before penetrating you. When he's the one receiving, he gets incredibly loud, blowing encouragement at you between gasps. Venti won't pull out of your mouth when he comes.
His favorite places:
He likes the classics, like the bed, the couch, the shower. But he also likes to do it outside, where the big tree of Venessa stands or in the forest not far from Mondstadt. He is probably the archon who has always felt the closest to nature, nothing more natural that he takes more pleasure there than in an enclosed space.
His favorite positions:
He likes to be dominated. Having you on top of him with your thighs on either side of his while you rock back and forth drives him crazy. He finds you so beautiful and erotic in this position, he wants to devour you.
Stamina:
Although Venti is an archon, he does not have the stamina that Zhongli has. But he has an iron will, so he is able to attack again after a few minutes of breaks.
Sound:
Probably the loudest of the boys. He is not ashamed to let out his moans or his praises.
Size:
As Venti aged his body for you, the rest followed. So he's got a long, plump member to make you come quickly.
Following:
The first thing he'll do when you're done is run you a bath. Of course, he'll join you in it. Once you're comfortable with each other, Venti will massage your muscles before washing your body and hair.
Once finished, he'll get you some snacks and bring them right to bed.
In the beginning:
Albedo knows nothing about love. It is a feeling that is totally unknown to him, that's why he is completely bewildered by you. He doesn't understand why he always wants to have you by his side, nor why he feels the need to touch you, to hear you speak. You are an enigma that he has trouble solving. Yet, all he has to do is watch couples kissing or cuddling in the streets of Mondstadt to feel the need to do the same to you. This is how he will declare his love for you. After an impromptu, but still ardent kiss. He knows he loves you. And that's the most beautiful feeling in the world to him.
Albedo is an incredibly sweet and gentle boy, who will put your well-being before his own. He will tell you all his secrets, praying deep down that you will accept him despite what he is...
What he loves about you:
Your humanity. He loves all your facets, the best and the worst. Each of your expressions, each of your gestures, everything is a pretext to draw you.
Your skin is so soft against his fingers, he can't refrain from touching you.
Even if there are many silent moments between the two of you, it is never embarrassing. On the contrary, Albedo loves to drown in your eyes. He can read all the love you feel for him in them, and he hopes you can do the same with him.
Albedo is not a pervert, but he loves to lie against your chest, just to hear your heartbeat, comparing it to his own. The first time he did this, you were silent in shock, but seeing his soothed expression as he listened to the sounds you were making, you decided to let him do it, as many times as it took.
Often, you would sit on his lap unexpectedly, just to wrap your arms around his neck and cuddle him. Albedo has learned to show tenderness and love by your side, although Klee had already introduced him to some gentle gestures, yours were different from the little girl.
You drag behind you the smell of Cecilias. A flower that Albedo began to love when he came to live in Mondstadt.
Every morning you sit in front of your hairdresser to detangle your hair and apply light makeup. Each time you do, you start to hum. Albedo takes great pleasure in simply looking at you through the mirror and listening to your voice.
What leads to arguments:
You almost never argue. It's almost impossible with Albedo's passive nature. He is a thoughtful and calm man who will always seek to resolve your conflicts peacefully.
His faults:
He is probably too often immersed in his work. He sometimes forgets that you are both in the same room.
His intimacy with you:
He is more tender than he lets on. Whenever he finds a moment to be alone with you, he'll do his best to stay close.
He'll often offer to cook together, hugging you from behind to guide your actions as you prepare a new dish. His lips will take advantage of your inattention to kiss the back of your neck.
It's not unusual for him to ask you to pose for him. He always makes sure the position is not too tiring, asking you to lie down on the couch or sit in an armchair. When you get close enough, he will ask you to pose naked. Of course, the first times are always embarrassing, but Albedo's loving gaze will quickly reassure you...
Albedo is indifferent to the curious looks he gets from the people of Mondstadt when he cuddles you in the street. If he wants to kiss you, he will. If he wants to hug your waist, he will. He loves you, and he's happy to let you know it.
At home, you may find yourself asking him for a hug while he sits on the couch, quietly reading some notes from his research. With a gentle smile, he'll pull you onto his lap to straddle him. He will continue to quietly read his notes while his free hand tenderly caresses your back.
When you fall asleep before he comes home, Albedo will silently crawl into bed and rest against you. He'll fall asleep after a few minutes listening to your heartbeat against his ear.
He will often suggest that you take a bath or shower together.
Physical contact:
Of the two of you, he is not the one who initiates physical contact the most, but he never refuses it. There are many times when Albedo will make the first move, especially when he is exhausted or has just returned from a long stay at Dragonspine. He'll hug your waist before silently burying his face in your neck. He'll be cradled by your hand on his back.
Albedo has made a habit of having you sit on his lap when he works or draws in your home. Involuntarily, his hand caresses your back, hips and thighs while he is busy reading papers. Most of the time, you fall asleep in his care, and when he realizes this, it is with a loving smile that he carries you to your bed, reluctantly walking away from your comforting warmth to continue his work.
He shyly lets you kiss the mark on his neck. Even though he thinks it is a symbol of his inhumanity, his imperfection, he finds the attention so sweet and charming...
His favorite part of your body: Your chest. He can hear your heart beating there. But he also likes your eyes for their depths.
As for your curves, they are perfect to be drawn.
His favorite part of your body:
Your chest. He loves to put his head against you to hear the steady beat of your heart. Your face in general, he finds you so expressive, it is a real pleasure for him to observe you.
Hot/cold:
Albedo is known to be a gentle and kind man. But sometimes he shows you a darker side of him and maybe even a little teasing. When he is like this, you can hardly recognize him, something is wrong, but you don't know where it comes from... Nevertheless, after a few hours without seeing him, he becomes again the man you know...
His degree of love:
You are his muse, his star, his future. He can no longer conceive of life without you by his side.
You are the one who taught him the true meaning of the word "live".
You are the one who makes him feel human.
Date:
Albedo will start with classical music. Candlelight dinner. Walk hand in hand through the streets of Mondstadt. Drinking in the best tavern around. Then, little by little, he will take you beyond the walls. He'll show you his laboratory in Dragonspine, or make a picture of you under the Venessa tree. No matter where you go, with you, he will always be fulfilled.
Husband:
He will be very attentive to your needs and happiness. Although he is always so immersed in his work, whenever he is with you, his eyes shine with affection and adoration for you. He always tries to do couple activities when he is not in his lab. Reading, cooking, walking, whatever you want to do, he wants to spend his free time with you.
When he has to go to work at Dragonspine, the separation is always hard on both of you. Every time he gets ready to leave, he holds you in his arms for a long time, kissing your hair, your face and finally your left hand, where the wedding ring he put on your finger when you said yes is.
Dad:
Albedo is a homunculus, he can't have children. It hurts him more than he ever imagined, not being able to give you what you want... How many times has he thought that you would probably be happier with someone else?
However, you don't give up and you both decide to adopt a young orphan.
Albedo loves children, he has never hidden it. His patience and his calm temperament are part of his charms. Even if this child is not his, he loves him as if he were his own flesh and blood.
Even if you have adopted a child, Albedo continues to look for a way to make himself fertile despite what he is, and who knows? Maybe one day he will find it?
Nickname:
Firefly, flake, star, darling.
NSFW:
How is he in bed? Preliminary:
Albedo is a meticulous and demanding lover. His expert fingers will work with precision between your thighs while his lips are busy marking your skin. He will always start with one finger, adding one more as soon as you are sufficiently stretched with the previous one, going up to three fingers inside you. His rhythm is slow, unbearably slow. He wants to hear you moan his name, he wants your fingers to get lost in his hair, he wants to leave traces of your bond visible on your skin. As soon as you beg him to go faster, his lips will bind with yours while his hand speeds up his swing. He loves to swallow your screams of pleasure...
He's probably one of the few boys who will try anything related to sex. If you want to try things, he'll do it, as long as it's not dangerous or hurts you. If you want to try certain positions, he will do them, under the same conditions.
Being an alchemist, Albedo has a lot of knowledge about potions. He knows how to make an aphrodisiac, and if you want to try it, he will gladly do it, knowing full well that you will both enjoy it immensely.
Albedo wants every experience in bed to be unforgettable, he wants to leave you reeling and eager for him until the next day. Even though Albedo considers himself to have a low sex drive (which is true compared to some), he can't help but desire you from the moment he kisses you.
His favorite places:
His office, your bedroom or his laboratory. He's not fond of risks, so he'll always prefer rooms that can be locked.
His favorite positions:
Cowgirl is probably his favorite, especially when you take him by surprise by settling on him while he's sitting in his office chair. His mind and body warm up quickly when you start rolling your hips against his.
Stamina:
A small body with a lot of stamina. He's able to endure several of your orgasms before finally letting himself go inside you. It may take a little longer to restart if you want another round. He simply takes advantage of this moment to cuddle you before leaving again.
Sound:
Quiet. Everything happens in the eyes with Albedo. He occasionally lets a few whimpers escape his throat, but they are rare and therefore precious. On the other hand, he loves the sounds you make, he doesn't want to miss any of your cries.
Size:
Not too long, not too small. He fits perfectly with you, taking you to the edge of ecstasy every time.
Following:
Albedo will take care of you with tenderness. His hands will massage your lower belly while his lips kiss you lovingly along your neck. He will wait until you fall asleep to clean your crotch.
Before falling asleep, Albedo will take the time to sketch your sleeping form. He wishes to engrave these precious moments in him...
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