#i'm having fun writing and fixating on this king

[amoscontorta]

Sylus gets a headache | ao3 | other fics in this 'series'

Summary: Sylus has secured the promise from you that he can use your place as a safe house if he's in the area and needs it. Sylus's definition of "need", it turns out, might be different than your own, as illustrated by the first time he shows up unannounced at your door.

Sylus x gn reader, Sylus x mc, no use of y/n. This story contains: fluff, banter, Sylus has a hard time keeping his hands to himself, legal arguments, bad puns, self-indulgent writing, repetitive finger caressing, insomnia that Sylus is determined to vanquish by any means, Xavier is an innocent victim in all this and has no idea, except has Xavier ever been innocent in his entire life? CWs: insomnia, consumption of alcohol, profanity SFW, mostly. With some filthy innuendos at the end. It's Sylus, after all.

It has been a few days since you had the best night’s rest you can remember on the back of a certain miscreant crime lord’s motorcycle, and you’re once again preparing for a long, torturous night of staring at the ceiling and trying to catalogue all the classes of wanderers in an attempt to lull yourself to sleep—Nero’s suggestion. You have your doubts about whether it will work, but he gave the advice so earnestly after overhearing you talking to Tara about your insomnia that you feel obligated to give it a go. Sylus would probably scoff and say something about ‘people pleasing,’—you shake your head. That man does not get to live rent free in your brain, no matter how suspiciously kind he was the last time you saw him.

The kettle squeals, and you pour the boiling water into your chipped “World’s Greatest Hunter” mug that Caleb had gifted you once you were admitted into the Association’s ranks. The hot liquid steams soothingly into your face as it drowns a chamomile teabag, and you try not to think about the last time you saw him, when he was smiling. Patting your head. Whole, and so, so vibrantly alive. You take a deep, shaky breath.

After a suggestion from Tara, you add some honey and then slice a lime and squeeze the juice into the tea, absently stirring the spoon and gazing out your balcony window. You’re home early for once, and the sun is only just setting. You can’t see it through the high rises around you, but dusk filters down into the streets below your flat. The gentle sounds of the city moving into late evening drift up, the traffic like waves crashing on the shore, laughter and shop bells tinkling, a dog barking somewhere.

Suddenly, your doorbell chimes through your apartment and startles you out of your reverie. Did you forget that you had ordered something to be delivered today?

Without thinking too hard about it, you take your still piping-hot tea and pad to the foyer to answer the door.

Only to have your sense of calm shattered as you fling the mug out of sheer, instinctual self-preservation that Zayne accuses you of not having, when you see who is standing on the other side.

Quicker than your brain can actually process Sylus’s presence outside your flat, scarlet-night tendrils have prevented the mug from shattering on the floor, but have failed to stop the liquid from continuing its projectile path right onto his red, standing collar shirt and black vest.

“The fuck, Sylus?”

“You really, and I mean really, need to work on your greetings, kitten,” he tells you calmly, evol delivering the mug into his waiting hand while he holds the suitcase he has in the other hand away from his body to avoid being dripped on by his now soaked torso.

“Sorry, you were the last person I was expecting.” You wince, heart still threatening to beat its way out of your rib cage.

“Oh, expecting someone, are we?” he lifts a dark silver eyebrow.

“No, but least of all… you.” You flap your hand in his general direction. “What are you even doing here?”

“How about,” he drawls, “you let me in, and I’ll tell you. You wouldn’t want your neighbors to get curious and come to inquire about the mess I’m making on your doorstep, would you?”

You stare at him for a moment longer, trying to think of a way out of having him in your space, again, but you’re tired at the end of another long day, another long week, another long month and this whole entire fucking year. Trying to get rid of him will take more energy than just letting him do what he wants so that he’ll go away again. You run a hand down your face and shuffle aside.

He enters, and the scent of him fills the small foyer, warm and mouth-watering. He sets the briefcase and mug on the floor, removes his dress shoes and places them neatly by your own hastily-kicked-off boots next to the step leading into the rest of your flat. He then picks the mug back up and reads what’s written on it.

“World’s best hunter, indeed.” He snorts softly, eyes flicking from your face to your thin tank top and sleep shorts covered in grinning little bounce, bounce planet blobbus, to your bare feet. “Is this how the world’s greatest hunter always answers the door to unknown visitors?”

“It was a gift,” you say defensively, snatching the mug from him and cradling it to your chest. “And the only people who would be at my door this late is Xavier borrowing a cup of sugar for some doomed baking experiment, or a delivery person. I’m sure they’ve seen much worse than this,” you sweep your hand down your body in a dismissive flourish.

“Oh, I’m sure they’ve seen much worse.” Sylus frowns slightly.

“Yeah, so if they don’t like it, they’re welcome to move on to their next delivery.”

“Or buy their own sugar,” Sylus murmurs, reaching out to run a finger along your knuckles as you clutch the mug. “And who gave you this highly accurate mug?”

You hesitate, knowing that his face is going to do something complicated, like it always does, when you mention your family. But fuck it, he asked. If he doesn’t like the answer, he can also move on to whatever his next nefarious errand is. “Someone who was like a brother to me.”

“Brother, huh,” he says softly, still gently stroking your skin. “Well, he wasn’t wrong in this.” His hand falls back to his side. “Invite me all the way in, kitten. With your words,” he commands.

“And why should I do that? The deal was to let you come in. You’re in now. You don’t need to come in any further. Now it’s your turn to honor the deal. Why are you here?” You glare up at him, your foyer feeling minuscule with his big body and presence filling it.

“You offered me your place if I ever needed it,” Sylus narrows his glittering eyes. “I needed it today before you flung steaming liquid all over my clothes. And now I need it even more.” He looks pointedly down at the still-dripping clothes in question.

“What did you originally need it for?” You stall, the guilt of throwing a mug full—half! Half full! of tea at him starting to creep in.

“How about you invite me all the way into your home, with your words, help me take care of this mess you caused,” he waves a lazy finger at his torso, “and I’ll tell you.”

“But you already promised to tell me why you’re here in exchange for the initial value of me letting you in, and I let you in. I already paid. You can’t make me pay twice for the same goods,” you protest.

“Remind me to take you with me the next time I have contract negotiations. You’re more useful than my own legal counsel.” He pauses, considering you. “Circumstances have changed. Force majeure prevents me from fulfilling my original promise without requiring additional time and means to fulfil that promise. You owe me the opportunity to successfully deliver what I owe you.”

“What, exactly, is preventing you from telling me why you originally came to my home right here in my entryway?”

“The consequences of an unforeseeable natural disaster,” he answers with a little helpless shrug. “Namely, the trauma of nearly getting drowned in tea following almost being taken out by a mug launched with your god-like strength. Kitten, your assault is the equivalent of an act of god, and I can’t be responsible for the fact that I now need a dry shirt and a safe place to recover from the shock of almost being murdered by your tableware.”

You can’t help it. It has been so long since you’ve actually laughed out loud, so the noise that comes out of you doesn’t even sound human. You’re laughing, and you can’t stop. The affronted look on Sylus’s face in response to your ugly-snorts, causes you to laugh even more, and you’re suddenly bending over, holding your knees, laughing like you might die if you stop.

After a long moment, when you are finally able to breathe again, you straighten and find Sylus looking at you with a soft expression, one corner of his wide mouth slightly lifted… which is alarming. But you’re too filled with gratitude for the relief of laughing that his absurd exaggeration just gave you, so you refuse to think about anything at all too hard right now. You give in.

“Sylus, would you do me the honor of coming into my home? You can tell me what the hell you’re doing here after I find you a dry shirt.” You sarcastically bow as low as you can, your arms uplifted to gesture him forward.

“I suppose I can’t refuse such a graciously extended offer,” he says, as if resigned to a terrible fate, but his smile is smug and he wastes no time striding into your living room while unbuttoning his vest. He gently lays it over the back of your couch, and begins unbuttoning his shirt. You force yourself to stop staring as the pale skin slowly being revealed with each flick of his long fingers and head to your bedroom.

You paw through your chest of drawers, trying to find a shirt that will fit his broad shoulders and chest, but all you manage to do is make even more of a mess in your barely organized drawers. You stand, remembering the hoodie Xavier leant you after a recent, particularly messy battle on a chilly night. You move to your closet where you had hung it carefully to remind yourself to give it back to him after having washed it. You pull it from the hanger, turn around, and squeal loud enough to shatter glass.

Sylus is standing right behind you, chest bare, black slacks hung low around his narrow hips, and you did not heard him come in.

“I thought we were past the terror stage of our friendship, sweetheart,” he says, cocking his head, the same ruby stud earrings he was wearing at the club flashing in the light. “But that’s twice today that I’ve frightened you to the point of violence. Am I really that scary?”

“You keep… appearing, out of nowhere. A little warning would be appreciated,” you huff, heart pounding. You don’t know why you’re so nervous around him. Really. It has nothing to do with the broad expanse of creamy skin and pillowy man-tits shoved in your face at the moment. “And honestly, considering the fact that our friendship started with you choking me out and keeping me captive for days, it’s a wonder that I’m not more scared of you,” you flare, because yeah, how dare he act like you should be over the absolute shit-show of your first encounter, when you’ve hardly had any time to get to know him. That’s why you’re nervous. There is no other possible explanation. A couple friendly interactions do not make up for how much of an evil bastard he was when you first met him.

“Would you like me to wear a bell when I’m here, then?” he asks, conveniently ignoring the reminder regarding how he treated you not so long ago.

“How about you just stay out of my bedroom and stay where I can see you at other times,” you snap, feeling violent again at the intrusive thought of Sylus wearing a collar around his thick neck, cute little bell dinging every time he moved.

“I’ll do my best,” he says absently, clearly distracted by his thorough inventory of your bedroom as he takes in the tumbling plants in mismatched pots on floating shelves hanging over the unmade bed, the army of plushies scattered over the bunched up mountain of duvet and pillows. Your bed used to be your sanctuary. The place where you could find rest and relaxation after exhausting battles and long days squinting at the computer filing incident reports. Now it just gives you anxiety. You try to pull his attention away from the chaos of your former safe space by holding Xavier’s hoodie out for Sylus to take.

“Here, this might fit you.”

Sylus looks down at your offering, crosses his arms, and takes a step back, as if the hoodie is so offensive that it warrants recoiling physically from it. “That’s quite a big hoodie for you, even for days when you want to be comfortable,” he says evenly.

“It’s not mine, but it’s clean, and I’m pretty sure it’s the only thing I have right now that will fit you,” you say, shaking it a little in the universal, impatient gesture of just take it already for fuck’s sake.

“And who is its actual owner?”

“Xavier.”

“In the habit of wearing your partner’s clothing, are we?” he asks, still staring at it, the disdain now plain in his assessment of the sweatshirt.

“Uh, sometimes? We were on a mission recently and my jacket got torn to the point of uselessness, and it was cold. He let me wear his hoodie so I wouldn't be cold. It's been washed since then, so it's clean. I’ll just wash it again when you’re done using it before I return it. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”

After what seems like a ridiculous amount of time for him to apparently make some mental calculations that only he will ever understand, he finally takes the soft hoodie from you, fingertips brushing yours as he grasps the fabric. You can’t figure out why he he suddenly looks more smugly evil than you’ve ever seen, with his lips curved up in a sardonic smirk. “Oh, of course, I’m sure he will not mind at all.” He pulls the hoodie over his head and shimmies a little as he drags it down is body; it’s a little tight around the shoulders, but you don’t think it’s tight enough to permanently stretch the fabric.

After it’s on, he tugs the collar up to his nose and inhales deeply.

“What are you doing?” you ask, as if you can’t see perfectly well what he is doing.

“It smells like you,” he answers, shameless, as if that is a perfectly reasonable answer to your question.

“Well, I did wear it, and wash it with my normal detergent and it has been hanging in my closet for a while, so…” your voice trails off.

“And soon it will smell like me too,” he continues, letting the collar fall with a satisfied flick of his fingers.

What even is this conversation? “Can you just be normal? For once?" A look of boredom is all the response you get, so you continue. "Now get out of my bedroom. Come tell me why you’re here in the first place.” You stride past him, making your way into the living room.

He follows you obediently and plops down on the couch, and just like last time, spreads his legs wide. This time, he is able to rest his arms on either side along the back of the couch, effectively occupying the whole damn thing. He sits quietly, looking at you expectantly.

You stand, arms folded, a safe distance away from the couch near the kitchen island.

“Well?” You prompt.

“It’s customary to offer your guest a refreshing beverage upon receiving them in your home. I believe I offered you wine the first time I hosted you in my own home.”

“Hosted?” He can’t be serious. “What a generous euphemism for ‘unlawfully imprisoned,’” you bite out.

“Po-tae-to,” he says serenely, “Po-tah-to.”

“Sylus,” you warn—about what, you’re not sure. He wants a beverage? Okay, perhaps you’ll fling more hot tea at him if he doesn’t start talking.

“Kitten.” He continues gazing at you, clearly in no hurry to move things along.

“If you don’t tell me, right now, why the hell you showed up at my place unannounced, I will report you as a burglar and have you removed by the authorities.”

“But then how will you explain to Xavier why I’ve been arrested wearing his sweater?” he asks, eyes wide, all concern for what your partner’s thoughts on the matter would be, and what they would mean for you.

“Burglars have been known to be creeps and go rooting through their victims’ closets and wearing their clothes! I’ll just say you were wearing it when I got here. Maybe he’ll be worried that it’s him you’re actually interested in harassing,” you snicker, trying to picture Xavier’s reaction.

As you’re speaking, Sylus pulls out his phone and fiddles with it with a bored expression on his face.  

“Oh, I’m sorry, am I boring you? Perhaps you should go find something more interesting to do and leave me in peace,” you grind out after you’ve finished and notice his complete lack of attention.

Your irritation is interrupted by a notification on your phone. Since Sylus is so busy messing with his, you grab yours from where it has been lying on the counter since before Sylus interrupted your peaceful evening staring out into the city. You see that you have a new message from… the man currently oozing across the entirety of your couch, head lolled to the side and watching you with a hint of amusement curving his mouth.

You open the chat, and your eyes widen at the conversation that never fucking happened currently loading into your chat history, with time stamps corresponding to when Sylus showed up at your door.

You: Oh Sylus, my big, handsome partner in crime, I think there’s an intruder in my flat and I’m so scared!

The Sytuation: What makes you think theres an intruder in your home, kitten? Im on my way.

You: There is sugar missing from my pantry! I just bought a new bag yesterday, and it’s gone! Oh please, my dark knight, come protect me from the sugar thief who should buy his own sugar and stop coming to my place to pilfer mine!

The Sytuation: Of course, sweetie. Go wait by the door, Ill be there in 5.

“What. Is. This. Fuckery,” you demand, thrusting your phone in his face.

He shrugs. “You threatened to lie about why I’m here in a bid to get rid of me. Did you not expect me to counter your move to ensure that no one will believe you?” he pauses, and then narrows his eyes. "Did you really save me in your phone as 'The Situation,' with a Y?"

"Punny, right? My phone doubles as my work phone. You really think I'm going to save your real name in my contacts? I might as well just save you as 'Sylus Qin, leader of Onychinus, most wanted criminal in the N109 zone," you grumble. "And trust me, that's the nicest name I could come up with."

"Punny," he repeats derisively, unimpressed.

“And don't derail. What is this nonsense about a sugar thief?” You wave the phone again.

“Your colleague should learn to stock his own pantry if he wants to engage in… what did you call them? Doomed baking experiments?”

“How did you even… why does it look so real?” You gaze down at the texts that look so authentic that if they hadn’t been filled with such bullshit, you’d be doubting your own sanity about whether the conversation had really happened.

“You’re really surprised that faking evidence, alibis and dirt on my opponents is a part of my vast skill set? I’m hurt that you underestimate me so.” He looks at you like he’s disappointed, a little pout pulling down his stupid beautiful mouth.

“For fuck’s sake.” You’re done. The longer you resist, the longer Sylus will be in your flat, driving you up the wall. “Fine. Fine!” You set your phone down again and throw up your hands. “What do you want to drink, Sylus?”

“Two fingers of gin, if you have it. Or brandy. Or vodka.” He thinks for a moment. “I’m not feeling too picky tonight.”

“I don’t keep hard liquor in my house, you alcoholic. I have a half-open bottle of rosé in the fridge. Will that satisfy his lordship?” You turn resignedly to trod your way to your fridge.

“What vineyard and vintage?” he asks, perking up.

You open the fridge and pull out the bottle. You squint at the label. “I dunno. It has a cute fish on the label, so I bought it.”

He looks at you like you just murdered Mephisto, and you begin pouring the pink liquid into another mug. This one says UNT on the side in big block letters, matching the size of the handle so that when you hold it, the handle looks like a matching C. You walk back to where he’s sitting, and you think that maybe your smile looks as smug as Sylus’s usually does when you hand him his drink.

He takes the mug from you, snorts when he reads the side, and then look at its contents dubiously for a moment.

“You taste it first,” he finally says, looking back up at you.

“Worried I poisoned it?” You’re still grinning.

“As you say,” he says, tilting his head.

“Perhaps you shouldn’t demand beverages from people you don’t trust then.”

“I trust you, just not your taste in wine after learning you choose bottles based on the cuteness of the label. Indulge me,” he murmurs. “Prove to me that you’re willing to drink it, and that it’s not just swill you’re trying to get rid of by offering it to me.”

You take the mug from him and lift it to your lips, taking a sip, watching him over the rim as you swallow. His nostrils flair, and he lifts his hand in a gesture for you to return it to him. Instead of giving it back, you take one more big gulp, and his brow furrows. Only after you've slowly swallowed again do you comply, relishing the warmth spreading through your body as you lower the mug for him to take. He brushes your fingers again as he takes it back. He turns the mug, so that his mouth hovers where yours just was. He then closes his eyes and inhales, gently swirling the liquid inside. Eyes still closed, he takes a sip.

After a moment, he sighs. “Thank you. This is actually not bad, for a rosé.”

“You’re such a snob,” you smile down at him, irrationally pleased that he seems so pleased.

“Life is too difficult, and too short, to waste on inferior experiences. I only like tasting the best,” he says, bright red eyes opening and fixing on you.

He looks up at you like you should be able to draw some deeper meaning from his words, but you’re tired, warm from the wine, and despite how much he winds you up you were just moments ago, right now you’re strangely relaxed for the first time in days.

“Tell me why you’re here, Sylus,” you say quietly.

“You told me I could use your place when I needed it,” he says, just as softly. He takes another drink, rolls it around in his mouth. Swallows, his adam’s apple dipping.

“And why did you need it this evening?”

“I had some negotiations regarding a business acquisition that I’m considering in this part of Linkon City, and they were abhorrently boring. By the time they were over, I had a splitting headache, and the sunlight didn’t help. It would have been unsafe to operate a motor vehicle under those conditions, so I thought I’d come and wait for it to pass in my newest ‘safe house,’ he answers gravely, as if getting a headache was a perfectly logical reason to crash your evening and take over your couch. “Wouldn’t want to endanger the innocent citizens of Linkon City with reckless driving, now would we?”

“Aren’t all of your shady business deals done under the cover of darkness? Why were you here at a meeting during the day?”

He’s holding the mug in one hand by his fingertips now, along the rim, slowly swirling it. He crosses one long leg over the other and answers languidly. “You’re assuming that today’s business was ‘shady.’”

“So your business today was legitimate?” You’ve been standing for awhile now, and begin to shift from bare foot to bare foot.

He hums in acknowledgement. “My business interests are as varied as they are successful. You insult me by looking so surprised.”

“Well I would never want to insult you,” you drawl. “So that’s it? You got a headache and decided you’d crash my evening?”

He nods, touching his temple and grimacing. “It’s still pretty bad, to be honest.”

“The daylight bothers you that much?” you ask, genuinely curious. You have always assumed that it was the nature of his occupation and perhaps just a proclivity for being a night owl that explained his nocturnal existence, but now you’re wondering if it’s not something deeper that has him avoiding it as much as possible.

You finally decide to give your tired feet a break and perch on the little corner of couch cushion that has been freed for use by Sylus crossing his legs. “If sunlight bothers you that much, what could possibly be so important to come out in it today?”

“Are you really asking about the details of my business ventures, sweetheart?” he asks in what you suspect is feigned astonishment.

“And if I am?”

“Then I’ll tell you,” he responds easily.

“Then I am.”

“I’m in discussions for acquiring a chain of entertainment venues in Linkon City.” He leans his head on the couch’s backrest and lets it roll to the side to keep looking at you. He catches the look of disgust that is no doubt obvious on your face.

“Entertainment venues,” you say flatly.

“Yes. Is there something wrong with that?”

“What kind of … entertainment venues?” you ask, hating yourself for wanting to know. It’s his business if he wants to buy porn shops, or strip clubs, or brothels—your stomach twists, and you refuse to consider why.

“What kind of ideas are racing through that fascinating brain of yours?” he asks, reaching up and running two of his fingers along your temple, brushing your hair away from your eyes.

“Nothing,” you bite out, turning your face away from his touch. You normally dislike how you have a hard time concealing how you’re feeling, but you particularly hate it right now.

“Mmhmm,” he murmurs. “Then, to answer your question, it’s a chain of arcades.”

Your brain grinds to a halt. Did he just say—

“Arcades?”

He nods, and winces, closing his eyes. You’re starting to believe that his head is actually hurting him, and you feel bad for throwing dishware and hot tea at him and refusing to offer him more than the one drink he asked for.

“Why would you be interested in acquiring an arcade chain?”

“Even for odious crime lords, it’s always wise to have a diversified business portfolio.”

You have called him a lot of things both out loud and in your head, but you’d never call him odious. Odorous, perhaps, when he’s sweating heavily after being riddled with bullets. But you have to suppress the urge to chastise him about talking about himself that way.

“Which chain is it?”

“You probably don’t know it,” he says, as if bored with the question. “It’s not a very large chain, but large enough for my interests.”

“Try me! I love going to the arcade when I have some free time. I mean, you’ve seen my plushie collection now that you invited yourself into my house,” you bounce a little on the couch.

“You invited me, kitten. You’ve had a choice, each and every time.”

“Don’t deflect! Answer the question!” You’re quite excited about this. Maybe if it’s a place you know, that has a location nearby, he’ll give you a discount if he ends up buying them? Like an employee discount or something. Is that ethical? You should check the Association’s employee handbook for conflicts of interest.

He squints, as if preparing to evaluate your reaction, and names your favorite place to play the claw machine.

“For real? You’re really going to buy them?”

“I still have to review the contract that was proposed during today’s discussions with my legal counsel, but if negotiations are successful, then yes,” he says, casually examining his nails.

Your excitement is hard to contain, but you suddenly have a troubling thought. “You’re not going to change anything, right? Like, that place is perfect as it is, and the employees are all really friendly and helpful and clearly work hard to keep it really nice,” you rush out, worried that he’s planning to reduce the staff  or try to jack up the prices for a larger profit margin.

He turns to look at you again, and doesn’t answer for long enough that you’re really starting to worry. But then he says softly, “No, I’m not going to change a thing.”

“Oh? So they’re doing well? It’s a solid financial investment?” You’re so relieved, safe in the knowledge that your plushies will continue to be accessible, insofar as claw machines by design allow them to be.

Sylus laughs softly. “Yes, the financials all look good. Considering your interest in the nature of binding agreements, would you like to look over the purchase agreement with me? I have it with me.”

“I’d actually really like to, but I’m starting to get really tired,” you yawn, the relief you were just feeling—the relief of knowing that Sylus wasn’t up to anything that would leave a blood trail today, relief that he didn’t come tonight to try to force you to resonate or finally kill you for refusing to do so, and most importantly, relief that he wasn’t going to acquire and ruin one of the little pleasures in your life—all of it is now drowned out by a heavy feeling of pleasant drowsiness.

“Then I’ll read it to you, until you fall asleep.”

“Huh? You want to stay?”

“Yes,” he says, hauling himself to his feet and offering you his hand. You take it in confusion, and he lifts you to your feet as well. He sets the now empty mug on your coffee table, and then places his hands on your shoulders, gently guiding you from behind to your bedroom.

“Why?” you ask, not even thinking to object.

“Headache, remember?” He pushes you gently by your shoulders so that you’re sitting on your bed.

“How can you review legalese when you’re suffering from a headache?” You sink into the softness of the mattress.

“Why don’t you let me worry about that?” he says, nudging you until you’ve scooted to the middle of the bed. “Don’t move. I’m going to get my tablet out of my briefcase.” He disappears through the doorway, and you’re left sitting on your bed, surrounded by all of your plushies, and you have no idea what’s happening. You’re just too tired to argue with him. You really did miscalculate by spending all of your energy trying to get rid of him when he first arrived.

But just because you’re bone-tired, doesn’t mean you’re going to let him boss you around. You get off the bed and pad into the kitchen, passing him as he snaps his briefcase shut, tablet in hand.

“I distinctly recall telling you not to move,” he gripes, pushing up an elegant set of gold framed glasses perched on the uneven bridge of his nose with a middle finger. Huh, you didn’t know he needed glasses to read. He looks almost … cute wearing them, a little less feral. Like a leopard wearing a monocle.

Suppressing the thought of Sylus and cute in the same sentence, you ignore him, grabbing a glass from the cupboard and filling it with water. Then you rummage through your most chaotic kitchen drawer for a few moments, before triumphantly pulling out what you were looking for.

You pad back over to where he’s still watching you, and offer him the glass and the half-used blister pack of over-the-counter painkillers you fished out of your chaos drawer. “Here.”

He looks down at your hands, offering him what you hope is some relief from his headache. His face is impassive, and you’re worried he assumes you’re trying to poison him again. But then he tucks the tablet under one arm, and reaches out with both hands to grasp the glass and the pill pack—except he doesn’t take them from your hands. He envelops yours with his, and pulls you gently closer to him. He somehow manages to pop two tablets out of the pack with his thumb, and they drop into your curved palm. Still holding your hand, he leans down to sweep them from your skin with his tongue. In a complete daze, you watch him lift the glass that you’re still holding to his lips, and he takes a long pull of water, washing the pills down, all the while holding your gaze with his. When he’s done, he slowly lowers your hands again.

“Thank you,” he murmurs “For the benevolence of your heart.” He says it gravely, as if you’ve just saved his life instead of giving him some headache medicine.

“You’re welcome,” you whisper, feeling like you’ve been struck by a truck after… whatever that was, feeling the warmth of his tongue in the palm of your hand like he was still licking it. Sylus then turns and heads back to your bedroom.

You set the glass and the now-empty pill pack on the kitchen island, thinking you’ll clean up tomorrow if you manage to sleep tonight, and follow him.

In the bedroom, Sylus sits, leaning back against your headboard, having needed to gently scoop some plushies out of the way to make room. He stretches his legs out in front of him with a sigh. He looks so soft, wrapped in the white hoodie, silver hair rumpled, surrounded by pillows and cute little plushies.

It’s getting increasingly difficult to remember that the man currently sinking into your duvet and wiggling his sock-covered toes in contentment is the same man who straight up exploded the man who dared kidnap you, and then proceeded to kidnap you himself after choking you to the point of passing out. You try to hold both of these truths about him in your mind at the same time, but the image of Sylus dancing you gently through a press of bodies, of the way he caresses your fingers at every opportunity, the soft slide of his tongue along your palm—these images are conquering every other version of him that you know to be true in your mind. You wonder briefly if this is part of some larger scheme of his, and what his endgame could possibly be. But right now, you’re too fucking tired to care.

“What is even happening,” you ask. You’re exhausted, but you still have enough mental reserves to question how you got here, in this situation, with this man migrating from vanquishing your couch to a large part of your bed. “Is the coffee table, or kitchen table insufficient for your needs? Why are you going to review the paperwork here, on my bed?”

“Don’t think I didn’t notice how quickly you fell asleep on my back on the motorcycle the other night, sweetheart. I’m just reading you a bedtime story featuring limitations of liability and allocation of risk so that you can finally get some sleep again.” He pats his thigh. “Here.”

You just stare at him. “Don’t make me repeat myself,” he warns, tapping his thigh again with one long finger. Just for that, you glare mutinously at him and fold your arms over your chest.

He sighs again, this time in exasperation, and leans over, firmly lifting you and setting you down so that your head is pillowed against his meaty thigh. He begins to run his fingertips gently up and down the middle of your back. He returns his attention to his tablet. “Now listen carefully,” he commands, before flicking the screen with his thumb and beginning to read in his softly in his deep, rich voice.

But of course you don't. You fall asleep as the skyscrapers light up like a dragon's hoard of jewels in the night sky outside your window, to the sounds of Sylus’s quiet recitation of indeed, a terribly boring contract, and the whisper of his fingers along your skin.

When you wake up, there is another black feather on your pillow, and you are alone. You yawn, once again feeling unbelievably rested despite the chaos Sylus always brings to your door and into your life. You stretch leisurely, spreading your arms wide and turning your head on the pillow, when something catches in your earlobe. You reach up and run your fingers along a stud earring that was not there when you fell asleep. You feel your other earlobe, but it's empty. You grab your phone from the nightstand, knocking over a semiautomatic hand pistol with scarlet flames engraved along the grip that you also don't remember owning onto the floor. You stare at it briefly, ready to commit murder if you check it and find that the safety isn't on. But first things first: you put the phone camera in selfie mode and lift it to your face, but quickly lower it again after confirming that it is indeed a ruby stud in your ear, sparkling cheekily in the morning sunlight.

Later, you're relieved to find that Sylus did actually leave the safety on on your new little ... toy, and you'll find that the mugs have been washed and set neatly away, the empty pack of painkillers placed in the recycling bin. You also see that various takeout containers and other debris that had piled up on a lot of surfaces in your place are also gone, and the countertops are clean, the coffee and kitchen table gleam in the early morning sunlight. You don't notice that the white hoodie is nowhere to be found, until you meet up with Xavier later in the day. He's wearing one that looks exactly like it.

"Thanks for returning the hoodie," he yawns. "But you really didn't have to."

You pause, feeling a thread of panic start to wind its way through your stomach. You decide to just... go with it. "Oh? You found it okay?"

"Yeah, but why did you just leave it hanging from my door handle? You could have rung and come in. I had a new limited edition bag of those cookies you were looking at in the corner store last week. I would have shared some with you... but now I've eaten them all," he admits sheepishly, big blue eyes shimmering with guilt.

You try to think fast. Did Sylus give back the hoodie without washing it? What the fuck was he thinking? He could have been seen! Does this flat have surveillance footage? Does Xavier suspect anything? You realize that you still haven't answered Xavier's question as your panic spirals. "Oh, you know, didn't want to wake you up," you flap your hands, as if you can flap this entire situation right out of your messy life.

"Well, I don't know what you did to it, but it feels brand new. As if it's never even been washed. And you somehow got out the bbq sauce stain that no matter how much I sprayed it with that stain remover stuff would never come out. So you're going to have to teach me some of that laundry magic," he says contentedly, snuggling further into the entirely new hoodie that you now realize Sylus must have somehow, over the course of the night, had hand-delivered to Xavier's place. "Uh huh," you say absently, pulling out your phone to furiously text Mr. Asshat when you see that he has also changed his name in your contact list.

You: What the hell did you do with Xavier's hoodie?"

My Sy: It doesnt matter who it belonged to before me. All that matters is that its mine now.

You: It doesn't even fit you properly! You're too big for it!

My Sy: Nothing a little size training cant fix.

Your jaw drops. He cannot be implying what you think he's implying. This is your filthy mind at work. You decide that you will simply pretend this conversation never happened. Absolutely nothing good can come from trying to figure out what the fuck is going through Sylus's head at any given moment.

You: And 'My Sy?' Really?

My Sy: Its not punny, but it rhymes. And its accurate. Gotta put the phone down for a bit, kitten. Business requires my attention. Ill be seeing you soon.

You stare at his last message for long enough that Xavier asks if you're okay. You're not. You're not okay. You couldn't even bring yourself to ask him about the other earring, or the gun. You just slowly slip your phone back into your cargo pants pocket and try very hard to stop thinking, for the rest of the day.

[mint-yooxgi]

Kinktober 2024 Request Rules

Considering the way the poll is going, and my own excitement and wants, I'm preemptively posting this to give you all ample time to send me some kinktober prompts! Yay! Feel free to send as many as you'd like, but I'd kindly ask you all to be reasonable and follow the rules as listed below. If anyone remembers previous kinktober request rules, they'll be practically the same as before.

I will be accepting prompts until September 17.

Please request one (1) member per ask from the following groups:

SHINee (Excluding Jjong, of course)

EXO (Excluding Jongdae)

ATEEZ

Stray Kids

VIXX

NCT (Excluding Wish and Taeil, for obvious reasons)

TXT

Seventeen

Note: You may request multiple of the same member, but I will probably limit the amount of prompts I do for any one idol to 3.

Please only use a maximum of two (2) kinks per prompt. Kinks that I will accept are listed below.

Daddy/Mommy Kink

Sir/Mistress

Bondage

Asphyxiation

Body Worship

Praise

Possession

Oral Fixation

Face Sitting

Thigh Riding

Sensory Depravation

Blood

Biting/Marking

Overstimulation

Edging/Orgasm Denial

Voyerism/Exhibitionism

King/Queen

Breeding/Creampie

Consensual Predator/Prey

Consensual Somnophilia

Size Kink & Reverse Size Kink

JOI

Cockwarming

Knife Play

Masturbation/Mutual Masturbation

Please feel free to choose from a variety of AUs found below. You may combine multiple AUs together, but I ask for them to be kept reasonable and for people to limit themselves to two (2) AUs per request. Yandere may be combined with any and all AUs, and is the only exception to this rule. If there is an AU not listed below, but you'd like to see, feel free to message me, or shoot me an ask about it and I'll respond as soon as I can!

List of AUs:

Any form of monster you can think of up to and including: Tentacle, Siren, Vampire, Wolf, etc! The more monstrous the better!

Yandere

Royal

Hybrids

Angel/Fallen Angel

Demon

Trickster

Gods/Demigods

I'd love to keep this Kinktober as monstrous as possible, but please feel free to send in prompts for whatever you'd like! Please also remember that there's no guarantee I will do specific prompts that I get, and I reserve the right to pick and choose to write the ones I receive that I have the most inspiration for, and/or are the most intriguing to me. I also reserve the right to make them as long or as short as possible. I'm doing this for fun, so I hope this can be something we all can enjoy to help me get back into the swing of things.

Until then, happy requesting!

[brunnerasposts]

The List

S.H. x Female Reader

Summary: Steve is struggling to comprehend how he feels, so Dustin and Lucas help him make a list

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: angst, meanie headed boys, takes place between S3-S4, crushes to ???, minimal use of Y/N

Additional Note: this is the same idea as The One With the List episode from Friends, but with Stranger Things characters

"I don't know what I'm gonna do." Steve panted as he continued to pace back and forth in his living room. "I mean, what am I gonna do?" He turned to Dustin and Lucas, who were trying to watch TV.

"I'm attracted to both Nancy and Y/N and I think they might feel the same. Now, I don't know what to do. This is so frustrating!" Steve groaned, gripping his hair.

"I mean, you have Nancy, who I've been in love with for three years now, and then there's Y/N who entered the picture once we started dealing with the upside down shit. And I..." He leaned against the wall, looking to both boys. "Is it possible to be in love after knowing someone for such a short period of time?"

"Yes." Both boys said, glancing at each other before their attention was drawn back to the movie. Steve nodded a little, remembering that they both had girlfriends. Lucas and Max always had trouble and Dustin had his girlfriend, Suzie, who was recently proven real through musical means.

"She's so different from Nancy, and yet I just want to be with her constantly. But then Nancy has also been there for me through my whole change of King Steve..." He trailed off, knowing he could keep going.

"This is terrible. I'm a terrible person." He groaned, hiding his face in his hands.

"I mean, I know Nancy and I have had our issues, but recently she... I don't know. She's been very flirty now that Jonathan is in California." He sighed, scratching his head.

"But then there's her." He smiled, remembering when you first entered the picture.

It was the middle of the school year, right after the Snow Ball. Steve was just becoming a new version of himself and trying to prove to his fellow students that he was capable of change. So, he was looking through the halls and that's when he saw you.

You were digging through your locker, reaching for something in the back which caused all of your things to fall and spread out on the floor.

Steve instantly went over to help, and you had been friends ever since. How you got involved in the upside down stuff was a different story. But when you found out about all of it, you didn't run and hide. You wanted to help. You wanted to protect Hawkins as well as everyone else in the group. You wanted to protect Steve.

"She was the first person to treat me differently."

"What's going on?" Lucas asked, only half paying attention as his eyes fixated on the cartoons he was watching.

Steve, realizing that he's been talking to a wall, glared at them both. "I'm talking about Y/N and Nancy."

"Oh no! Two women are attracted to Steve Harrington! Shocking." Dustin rolled his eyes, Lucas shaking his head.

Steve stared at them before grabbing the remote. He turned the television off, causing a commotion from both teenage boys. "What am I gonna do?" He asked, now having their full attention.

Lucas sat up.

"Here's an idea. Why don't you make a..uh, uh, a list! Yeah, a list of things you like and don't like about both of them." He suggested, tossing a piece of popcorn into his mouth.

"What like a pros and cons list?" Steve asked, his hands on his hips as he continued his pacing. "Yeah, yeah!" Dustin chimed in.

"Should we be doing this?" Steve asked, moving to go sit on the couch. He wasn't sure why, but something didn't sit right in his stomach with the idea of writing down things he didn't like about both girls. Especially when all he could focus on was the good.

"It might help." Lucas shrugged.

"Y/N versus Nancy: Pros and Cons." He said as Dustin stood, going to find some paper.

"Let's start with the cons!" The teen came barreling back into the room with pieces of paper and a pen. "Those are more fun." He grinned.

Steve rolled his eyes, leaning back into the couch. "Am I writing these down?"

"Nope, let me. Let's start with Y/N." Dustin said as he sat on the floor, using the coffee table as a desk. He looked to his older friend, ready to start writing some cons down.

Steve sighed, eyes moving around the room as he searched for one. "I don't know. She's amazing." He reached for some popcorn. "She's in love with you, so there must be something wrong with her." Lucas teased, ducking as popcorn was thrown at him.

A glare was sent Lucas' way before Steve resettled into the couch. "Well," His mind wandered, "I guess she can be a little ditzy." He chuckled nervously, fidgeting with the strings on his ripped jeans. This felt wrong, but he was desperate to try anything.

"Ditzy. That's good!" Dustin said, scribbling it down. "What else?"

"Um," Steve swallowed, rubbing his palms on his pants. "I guess she can be a little spoiled. But that's also because of me." He smiled, starting to feel better as he continued listing them.

Dustin wrote it down just as Lucas chimed in. "Don't you complain sometimes about how long she takes to get ready?" He asked. Steve thought about it and slowly began to nod. "I mean, I guess. She likes leaving a good impression with people, so she focuses a lot on making sure she looks nice." He shrugged.

"Too into her looks," Dustin spoke slowly as he wrote down each word. Steve winced, sucking air through his teeth. "I don't know if I'd word it like that, Henderson. Maybe like," He thought for a moment, "just say, 'takes a long time getting ready' or something."

Steve watched as Dustin drew a line through the previous bullet point and wrote the new phrase next to it. Dustin then set aside the other papers so he had more room for the one they were working on.

"Oh, her ankles are a little chubby!" He said, receiving a glare from both Lucas and Steve. "What? I thought we were all chiming in." The young teenager frowned but wrote it down anyway, his hat being knocked off his head by Steve. Dustin stared at him with annoyance before going back to the task at hand.

"Give me one more so we can have five total."

Thinking, Steve began to stand up. "I'm not sure. Let me grab a soda really quick. You guys want one?" He asked, both boys nodding.

Steve stood, going over to the kitchen. He looked around, hoping something would give him an idea as he grabbed a can of soda for each of them. He looked to the dining room, china cabinet, and his pool outside.

He never struggled with anything other than having a good relationship with his parents. They were a wealthy household, and it helped Steve turn into an asshole for a while. That is until he got involved with the group of nerds and their older siblings... and you.

"Well, Nancy and I both grew up comfortably, so we have that in common." He said as he reentered the living room. "But Y/N didn't. I mean, she has to work as a waitress to support her family." He frowned, knowing how much you hated your job but always did what you had to for your family. It was something he admired.

"Okay...and done! Now, what about Nancy? What's wrong with her?" Lucas asked. The question sent hundreds of different things he could say, but they all added up to the same point.

"She's not Y/N." He realized. As soon as he said that, everything just clicked. His feelings for Nancy were nowhere near the same as his feelings for you.

His eyes darted to the house phone. Steve then ran over to the phone, startling Dustin, who was in the middle of writing. "Dude, come on! Now it's not even her name!" He groaned but left it be.

"What are you doing?" Lucas asked as Steve dialed the phone number to the Wheeler's. The plan was forming slowly as he held the phone to his ear, letting it ring. "I'm telling Nancy the truth." He took a deep breath. God, he hoped now that she knew how to shoot a gun that she wouldn't use it on him.

"Wheeler's residence, this is Nancy Wheeler."

"Nancy!"

"Steve? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah! Well, for the most part."

"What? Do I need to come over?"

"No! No, uh, I just wanted to talk later."

"Okay... where?"

"Is it cool if I come over?"

"Oh...oh! Sure! Yeah, definitely. Uh, does ten work?"

"Sounds perfect. See you then."

He hung up the phone, looking to both Lucas and Dustin. "Are you actually going to tell her that you guys are done?" Dustin asked. "I mean, we've been done for a while. But the whole flirting thing that's been going on is going to come to an end tonight." Steve felt confident in this and he prayed Nancy would be understanding.

The doorbell rang, and Steve was not paying it much attention as he was precelebrating. Dustin joined in on Steve's celebratory dance, both unaware that Lucas went to answer the door.

Everything felt right in that moment. Steve was going to close up an old passing fling and open doors to someone he was committed to. You.

"Steve?"

Steve's head snapped up as he heard a voice from the doorway. Speak of the devil.

"Sweetheart?" He was met with you staring at him, almost frozen where you stood. Memories of your kiss from last night flooded back in his mind.

The memory was met with butterfly feelings in his stomach. Or was it a gut feeling? He didn't know, and he didn't care. All he cared about was the fact that you were right here in front of him.

"Hi." He spoke breathlessly.

"Hi." You grinned, cheeks rosy as you awkwardly showcased the cookie tin in your hands. "I brought these for your parents." She told him, walking up to him.

"Oh," Steve's smile grew as he saw how delicately the tin was wrapped in a pink ribbon, "Thank you. I'll go put these in the kitchen. Um," He looked around, "Did you want to stay for a little? I wanted to talk to you about something." He fidgeted with the corner of the cookie tin, hoping she'd agree.

"Talk? Am I in trouble?" You joked.

Steve chuckled. "No, no. I just wanted to talk to you about Nancy. I just called her." He grinned.

Your smile faltered, and Steve quickly realized his mistake. "No, no, I plan on talking to her to tell her how I feel."

A groan escaped Dustin, hiding his face in his hands from pure second-hand embarrassment.

You glanced to Dustin, eyes switching between the three of you now as your eyebrows furrowed. "Tell her...?" Your voice quivered as you trailed off.

Steve was too excited to say. He turned into a fumbling mess as he tried to explain himself. But the more he failed to explain, the clearer it was that you were getting the wrong idea.

"He's gonna tell her he's not interested!" Lucas exclaimed impatiently.

Steve sighed in relief, silently thanking Lucas for saving him. Your concerned expression turned into one that held surprise. "Really?" You asked, slightly breathless.

Steve moved to stand in front of you, tucking a loose strand of your hair behind your ear. "It's always been you, sweetheart." He promised, making you gush as you both hugged each other tightly.

"Aww," Dustin and Lucas spoke in unison, giving each other a side hug as they watched the happy pair.

A small creak noise was made as Steve accidentally touched the cookie tin to your back. "Damn it, sorry, let me go put these away." He smiled widely, placing a quick kiss on your cheek before walking into the kitchen.

Steve was on top of the world. Nancy was going to be out of his hair, you'd be at his side, and nothing else could possibly be better.

Especially with a break from all things Upside Down related, Steve could enjoy what it was like to have a real and serious relationship. He'd have his person. His other half. Maybe even his future.

As he set the cookie tin down, he began to hear a commotion from the living room.

"What's that?"

Hearing those words sent Steve's stomach churning. He knew exactly what had been found.

The List.

He scrambled out of the kitchen to see Dustin and Lucas holding the list as you chased them around the coffee table to grab it from them.

"I saw my name! What are you keeping from me?" You ask, getting slightly frustrated.

"Hey, what's going on?" Steve asked nervously, placing his hand on your back so everyone would stop chasing each other. You turn to Jim. "Those two have my name on a piece of paper, and they won't let me see." You said as you looked to him.

From behind you, Dustin and Lucas began pointing at the list in their hands, Steve gulping. "They won't. They won't?" He changed his tone, "Isn't that the...the story you were writing?"

"Yes, yes it is! It's a story... I needed to write for class!" Lucas suddenly exclaims, taking the list from Dustin before sticking it in his pocket.

That made you stop. "A story? Well, let me read it."

"No!" All three boys shout at once, making you look between them with bewilderment.

"Hey, why don't you read it to her?" Dustin asked, Lucas slowly turning to face his friend. Oh, if looks could kill...

Lucas cleared his throat, keeping away from you as he opened the paper. "Uh..it's kinda short." He said as you were led to the couch by Dustin and Steve.

You looked between both guys, Steve giving you an awkward smile before turning to Lucas. The boy shakily opened the paper, staring at the few words on it.

"It was summer..." He started, Steve unsure of how much Lucas was going to be able to come up with at the top of his head. "and it was hot." He glanced at everyone before looking to you. "Y/N was there," both Dustin and Steve nudged you, hoping you believed what was going on.

"A lonely gray couch," His voice hitched, getting higher as the lie continued. "And that's all I have. The End." He smiled widely, holding the paper behind himself.

"That's it?" Dustin spoke a little loudly. "That's all you wrote?" Steve chimed in. "You're the worst writer in the whole world!" He spoke through gritted teeth.

"Alright, alright. This isn't funny anymore. There is something about me on that paper, and I want to see it." You said as you stood and snatched the paper. Steve took it from you, who had the paper taken from him by Dustin.

"No, you don't." Lucas promised.

Steve's attention turned to you, seeing a plan form in your eyes. "You know what, you guys? I don't have time for this behavior. Alright? If you want to be children about it, that's fine." You said as you began to walk past them.

"We're all mature here." You moved away from the couch. "And I do not need... to see it!" You suddenly exclaim as you snatch the piece of paper from Dustin, all three boys yelling out in surprise and chasing you around the house.

You eventually make your way back into the living room as Lucas and Dustin dive for you on the couch, landing on each other. Steve stopped at the arm of the couch, out of breath from the jog.

Now the successor, you smirked and moved to stand several feet away before unfolding the wrinkled page.

Absolute silence.

Steve could hear his heart pounding in his ears as he saw your frustration turn to surprise and then a sudden sadness at what you were reading.

"What is this?" You whisper.

All three boys stood, pushing themselves away from each other.

Steve rubbed his sweaty palms against his jeans, watching as you analyzed the paper in your hands. Lucas and Dustin both fumbled over their words, trying to help cover up for Steve what they could.

"Oh, that's—"

"My mom needed groceries so—"

"No, no, no—"

"It was a—"

"Steve, what is this?" You ask again, angrier this time. That was the cue for both Lucas and Dustin to leave the room and head upstairs. They pat Steve on the back as a sign of good luck before their feet pattered up the flight of stairs.

Steve waited until they were gone before trying to approach you.

"Sweetheart, just... just please remember how crazy I am about you—"

"Ditzy? Spoiled?" You read, hands gripping the paper so tightly. Your voice shook with each word. You gasped softly, looking to him with watery eyes. "Too into her looks?" You ask.

"No, no, that's not true." Steve promised. "That's why it's crossed out." He chuckled nervously, following you as you paced. As you reached the next bulletpoint, you stopped in your tracks and turned to him.

"J-Just a waitress?"

Steve hesitated, unsure of what to say at this point. "Now that was..uh—" He watched as you walked past him, eyes still glued to the paper in your hands. "You know, as opposed to the uh... you know." He cleared his throat, panic setting in fully now. "Is this over now?"

A gasp escaped your lips, making you turn to Steve in full rage. "I do not have chubby ankles!" You growl before storming out of the house.

Shit.

"No, no, sweetheart, wait!" Steve begged as he chased you out of the house. He grabbed your arm gently, turning you to face him. "Look at the other side. Look at Nancy's column!" You flipped the paper, looking at it in confusion. "She's not yum?" She asked in bewilderment.

Steve gulped. "What? No, no, it says—"

"Is that some fancy phrase I don't understand because I'm just a waitress?" You ask, crumbling the paper up in your hands before shoving it right against his chest as hard as you could.

"No, sweetheart, please!" Steve called out as you walked off.

"Maybe we should go." Dustin said as he appeared next to him.

"No, you guys stay. I'm leaving." You promise as you continue walking. Steve couldn't believe how everything flipped so fast since you arrived. One second, he was excited to tell you that he wanted to be with you, and next, he's begging for you to hear him out.

Once you reached your car, Steve knew he had to attempt one last time.

He ran over, shoving his hand against your car door just as you began to open it, so it closed again. "Come on, sweetheart, I know how you feel—"

"No, you don't, Steve!" You snap, startling him. Realizing you had, you took a breath. "Imagine the worst things you think about yourself." You started, lip trembling. "Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you?"

Steve shook his head, reaching out to hold your hands. "No, no, but see, I want to be with you in spite of those things." He promised.

You scoff, removing his hands from yours. Steve flinched, knowing he screwed up. "Oh, well, that's mighty big of you, Steve." You spoke sarcastically before looking over his shoulder.

"I said don't go!" You snap, making Steve turn to see Dustin and Lucas picking up their bikes. They instantly dropped them, awkwardly standing by the garage.

Steve looked back to you, unable to believe this was the argument you were having. Everyone has flaws. He had them, too. Not only that, but he felt like this argument was hypocritical. "You know what?" His voice hitched as it raised.

"You know what? If...If things were the other way around, there was nothing you could put on a list that would ever make me not want to be with you."

"I guess that's the difference between us." You whispered as you moved past him, getting in your car.

You turned the key in the ignition, the car engine roaring to life. "See, I wouldn't have made a list." A tear rolled down your cheek, making you wipe it away.

"Sweetheart, please." Steve whispered, eyebrows furrowing as he held himself in the open part of the door. His eyes watered, his fingers digging into the sleeves of his sweater.

You then shut the car door and began to reverse out of Steve's driveway, driving back home.

Steve let out a deep and aggravated sigh. What was he going to do now? That conversation was heavy, even for him, and he knew they all felt in the wrong for making the list.

How could something go wrong so quickly?

More importantly, you were probably never going to speak to Steve again. Of course, the universe decides the day he's mature enough to figure out his feelings that he has to go ahead and mess it all up.

What was Steve going to do now?

The End.

[lordbloodravenn]

HOUSE OF THE DRAGON, SEASON 2 EPISODE ONE: A SON FOR A SON. (‘Rewrite’)

I am taking it upon myself to ‘rewrite’ or alter the episodes so far. I won't stray so far from the original that it becomes an entire fanfiction, as I don't have the time to devote to such an endeavour. However, certain scenes in this adaptation by Condal have not sat right with me. This is all my personal opinion. I'm open to debate, but I'm not here to start any arguments.

Without further ado, let us begin:

Similarly to the original episode, we will start at the Wall, where Cregan explains the North’s duty. Although I would love to explore Jacaerys’ time in Winterfell, sticking to the show's timeline and pacing makes this infeasible. Therefore, this scene will play out mostly the same, with an added dialogue piece. Jacaerys reminds Cregan that House Stark swore an oath but, understanding his foremost duty is to the North, he proposes a marriage between Cregan’s future children and Jacaerys’ future heir. This ensures that the North's duties and agenda can one day be wholly understood by the Iron Throne. Cregan then pledges his Greybeards and agrees to support the Blacks in whatever way he can once he has seen to the harvest and ensured the Wall is as secure as possible. The scene ends with the arrival of the ravens.

Daemon’s spiralling was entertaining to watch, as was his insistence they go and kill Vhagar. I shan’t be changing this scene. It solidifies the threat Vhagar poses, showing that even Daemon, a rogue and impulsive man, will not face her alone.

The next scene with Corlys at the docks on Driftmark remains largely unchanged. However, I found the knife scene tacky; it was unclear when he had the gift forged for Lucerys. Was it during the war while grieving his son or when he was wounded? The show writers wanted us to mourn for Lucerys, but it was nonsensical considering Corlys’ activities over the past few years.

In King��s Landing, we begin with Aegon searching for Jaehaerys in Helaena’s chambers. Their exchange is similar, with Helaena expressing her fear regarding the rats.

Here is where my first decisive change occurs. Rather than skipping to the Alicent and Criston scene, we move to the library where Aegon is collecting his son. Aegon expresses to little Jaehaerys, who is fixated on his tutor and hesitant to leave with Aegon, that he is his heir. There’s a deep, unspoken worry in Aegon's eyes. He does not want Jaehaerys to feel unwanted, unworthy, and underprepared as he does. He starts by somewhat expressing this, trying to tell the boy it’s his duty, but he struggles with the concept himself. He then tells Jaehaerys that he wants him there, that a father relies on his son and heir, and that it shall be good fun; it’s a more playful encounter than the sombre beginning with Aegon thinking about Viserys initially.

Finally, we are in the Small Council scene, only the Lord Commander and Queen are missing. Each arrives late, and Otto eyes them suspiciously. The two (Criston and Alicent) briefly glare at each other guiltily, hinting at an encounter rather than showing it. We’re building to the idea that something is going on between them. The council scene plays out mostly the same. Aegon is trying desperately to seem kingly while also falling into neglectful habits, playing with Jaehaerys. I position Jaehaerys to start on his father’s knee, playing with Aegon’s council ball. He then wanders to our Lannister, and that scene plays out the same. (I’m giving us more time with Jaehaerys and more interaction between the family. I believe B&C lacked impact due to this.)

Following the meeting, we will see the Alicent and Larys encounter play out. He implies Alicent was indisposed (with Criston earlier), but we still have no confirmation. Rather than bathing, we see Alicent sit down to write another letter to Dragonstone. She sends her servants away, feeling they are watching her on Larys’ behalf. She scrunches up the letter in the end, and her scene ends with her staring at her bed, with something guilty in her eyes.

The next scene plays out the same; Lucerys' clothing and Arrax’s wing are found. This scene was fine.

The petitions scene was enjoyable and does not require change, nor does the exchange with Lord Larys and Aegon. Similarly, Alicent’s exchange with Otto need not be changed; it was politically centred and in touch with the politically rooted conversations that I believe made AGOT so enjoyable. I don’t believe the ‘white worm’s’ discovery aboard the ship or the black queen’s return to Dragonstone would benefit from a rewrite. Nor would the ‘I want Aemond Targaryen’ line or Jacaerys’ emotional scene.

The funeral scene is our next change. Alicent lights her candles, and soon after she lights her candle for Lucerys, we hear footsteps behind her. It is Criston, her sworn protector. He kneels beside her and bids her leave to seek forgiveness from the Gods. She suggests they should both atone, and then the scene ends.

Daemon gets his information in the same manner, promising Mysaria’s release.

Rather than beginning with Daemon rowing into King’s Landing, we are back with Aegon and Helaena. He bids his sister to have Jaehaerys’s nursemaid bring him to the Small Council again. He will not be deterred by the antics from the previous session. Helaena nods. Aegon then tells her that he has ordered additional rat catchers to scour the castle for the supposed rats she fears. He bids his children, Jaehaerys and Jaehaera, goodnight (I would love to write Maelor back in, but then I’m stepping into entire rewrite territory.) We see Aegon leave, and then we see Daemon row into King’s Landing and employ Blood and Cheese. They discuss that their target is Aemond.

The next scene shows Ser Criston in his chambers, pacing the floor. He’s staring at his white cloak laid across his bed. He then kneels before it and begins flagellating himself. He begs the Mother’s forgiveness, the Father’s forgiveness, and the Maid’s. We see he feels deeply guilty for something.

We move to Alicent’s chambers with Helaena entering them with the children, as is their custom. She looks at the door only for a brief moment, where Criston is absent. Alicent begins reading to the children. Helaena is quite nervous and questions Ser Criston’s absence from her door. Alicent informs her that Ser Criston shall be along shortly, as the Lord Commander has many duties to attend to.

Blood and Cheese finally get their scene. They walk through the tunnels with the dog. They come across the king and make it to the passageways. They do not make it to Aemond’s room. Voices can be heard through the walls. Unclear and muffled voices, but one says a name: Aemond. That is enough to open this passage. Cheese points and whispers, "This is the one."

Criston is now in Aemond’s chambers. The two are plotting when Otto enters. We ensure Otto says Aemond’s name to throw off the viewers.

Back in Alicent’s chambers with Helaena, they’re still reading. Then the passage opens (They have entered the wrong chamber but cannot take it back). Blood and Cheese play out with Alicent being grabbed, Helaena too. Alicent is bound and gagged first. The show's unusual choice to make Jaehaera and Jaehaerys indistinguishable plays out the same. Helaena offers her necklace, then her life. Alicent’s muffled cries earn her a kick from Blood. Helaena is still pleading; Alicent is still crying. "Choose, or they both die," Blood declares. "A son for a son, and the prince will have his debt paid one way or another." Helaena finally points. She falls to the floor as Cheese releases her. Then comes the slicing. As the head is separated, Helaena crawls to her daughter and grabs her, running from the room. She runs into Criston Cole, who is finally about to assume his post. "They killed him, they killed my boy," she says, broken but with glassy and unsure eyes. She collapses and cries, still cradling her daughter. The episode is done.

This isn’t perfect. I tried to keep it similar to the show, with slower pacing. I aimed to maintain a little mystery and build-up, I guess. Should I do the next three episodes or not?

[fromtenthousandfeet]

What is it gonna take for HYBE to give Jimin the support he deserves? Will it ever even happen? Because I'm tired of feeling so miserable all the time. I even wanna delete all my socials and just find something else in my life to fixate on. I feel terrible for feeling this way because it's like I'm abandoning Jimin (even if I'll still be streaming his music). I'm tired of all of this, it's not good for my mental health at all.

All this corruption and evil simply can't keep winning like this, can it? Are we just supposed to make peace with JK being BTS' "break out star"? Really? I naïvely thought that they'd abandon their sinister plans after seeing how poorly he's been performing in comparison to the crazy amount of push they've been giving him. What the hell is going on at that company?

Anon,

I'm sharing with you this poor quality video of Michael Jackson calling out Tommy Mottola and Sony because it's worth remembering that record labels using and abusing their artists is the rule, not the exception. Not even The King of Pop was immune.

At around 3:20, MJ mentions that he "owes" the label two more songs and then he's a free agent. He says he writes about 120 songs per album, so he'll just pick two songs he's got hanging around and then he's done.

I bring this up because I suspect Jimin might be doing something similar. Having as few solo songs under Big Hit as possible is smart, because he likely won't own the rights to his own music if/when he leaves. The less they own, the better. Writing and recording two albums at once was efficient. Also, by keeping his marketing budget (ads, playlist placement, music videos, etc.) as small as possible, he'll keep more of the album sales and streaming revenue. All those expensive marketing costs are deducted from an artist's earnings, so best to keep them at a minimum if the plan is to make the most money possible. Between the writing credits, lower marketing budget, and the high profile brand ambassador deals Jimin's got, I feel like he's positioning himself to create his own company or label. This is my hope even if I have zero proof.

The way FACE went down really bothered me. I knew the company was behind Jimin's sabotage immediately and it drove me crazy that it took so long for others to catch up. But look at the response to MUSE. Jimin really does have an army of dedicated fans who are calling out the company's (intentional) incompetence 24/7. In reality, it's fun to watch PJMs catch the company and create a stink. It's almost like a game. Don't take it too seriously. Plus, in the long run, who cares about charts? The quality of the music itself is far more important.

Once again I've droned on way too long, but hear me out. I think HYBE/BH is investing so heavily in JK because they have to. BTS isn't going to last forever, and if Jimin leaves, they've lost a huge revenue source. But please trust me when I say they have an uphill battle before them because JK doesn't currently have the artistry or charisma to enthrall the west the way Jimin does. Don't expect them to abandon ship anytime soon, though. And if he does make it big, so be it.

I really wish BTS fans, or at least PJMs, didn't feel so much hate for Min Hee Jin because there's a lot to learn about Bang Si-hyuk and HYBE when you follow the whole ADOR saga. There are some astute NewJeans fans out there who've sized up Bang PD so well and their observations help explain Jimin's treatment by the company. He breaks people down (the idols, staff, and fans) using the "death by a thousand cuts" method. Endless small transgressions and slights, that individually appear like no big deal and are therefore not taken seriously by the media or fans, but collectively are detrimental to careers and one's mental health.

You know what? If Jimin announced he's leaving the music industry after military service, I would say congratulations and thank you for all the amazing music and performances during your BTS and solo career. Have a wonderful life! While I don't think he'll do that, it's worth remembering that none of this is all that serious. Enjoy his music. Take a break from social media, because in the real world nobody cares about this stuff.

Anon, did you make to the end of this long post? Way to use the umlaut on naïvely!

[sidhewrites]

❀ -- About me

It’s been a while, so I'm revamping my about me! Hi, my name is Ree, and my pronouns are he/they/she (mix em up, have fun). I'm a writer and artist, and I also read and crochet.

My official pen name is Ray Lane, and I have my first novella out on Gumroad. More info here. I'm almost ready for beta readers of my first full-length novel, so keep an eye out!

I've been writing since I was a kid, with varying degrees of success, but I've been able to get more and more progress with my current projects. While I love reading horror and fantasy, I tend to write lighter and softer fantasy and comedy.

I love learning about biology and zoology, and have tons of fun animal facts. I also have a cat named Daisy, who I take on walks.

Where else to find me:

@reedraws (art blog)

@pointing-out-crochet-in-media

@arcane-nari (fandom specific blog)

Carrd (Commissions + Socials)

❀ Main Writing Project: I Met a Girl in the Graveyard.

Aka, Graveyard Lesbians. Kaz Pine is a skeptic. She’s spent the last three years working in a historical graveyard, and never saw a single ghost. Still hurting from her recent breakup with a believer, Kaz decides to sabotage a high-profile ghost hunt, where she meets and recruits the enigmatic Lucy to join in on the prank. But when Kaz’s co-worker (her cat. His name is Renfield. She’ll show you pictures later.) disrupts a seance, things around town start getting a little … spooky.

GENRE: Romcom, campy horror.

ADDITIONAL TAGS: Gay and bisexual main characters. An old cat as a major supporting character. Ghost hunters. Jock MC.

More Info Here

Silly Powerpoint Here

Start reading here

❀ Secondary Projects ❀

❀ Glimte (Complete!) As a child, Katja’s father told her that sirens live in the bioluminescent waters surrounding their small village, but she seems to be the only one who believes in them. Her belief is solidified after a siren saves her as a child – and cements her fixation on sirens throughout her life, even through the tragedies and changes throughout the years.

Genre: Short fiction, wlw, low fantasy

More info here.

Get the eBook here.

❀  Silverlight: Polly is a healer’s apprentice in a sleepy village, where the most exciting thing in her life is sneaking into the forest with her best friend Jack, an exiled fairy with no magic to his name. But when they find an injured fairy solder in the woods, they set off beyond the veil into a world of magic and danger to stop the wicked Night King before he can cover the world in darkness forever.

GENRE: Light fantasy, adventure, romance subplot.

ADDITIONAL TAGS: Bisexual main character, transgender love interest. Talking animal sidekick. A requisite masquerade ball. Polyamory. Childhood friends to lovers, bodyguard romance. #LetPollyHaveABigSword2k23

More Info Here

❀  Lady of Scrolls: Currently no official project, but I talk a lot about my OC Ruby, the keeper of a pocket dimension called the Archival Realm. Known as a monster in some worlds, and an oracle in others, Mistress Spider in in her infinite knowledge will answer any question for those who seek the truth -- so long as they have an equal trade, of course.

More Info Here

Art

[magnusbae]

13 books

What’s up readers?! How about a little show and tell? Answer these 13 questions, tag 13 lucky readers and if you’re feeling extra bookish add a shelfie! Let’s Go!

Tagged by @cuubism Thank you!! 💖 Heads up: if you're tagged, you don't need to read it alllll even if you do want to participate 😌

1) The Last book I read:

I'm pretty sure it was Tress of the Emerald Sea, what a delight!

2) A book I recommend:

.... The Way of Kings... (The Stormlight Archive)

3) A book that I couldn’t put down:

The second book of The Stormlight Archive, Words of Radiance had me by my throat like nothing else. wow. 👏🏻

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more):

Listen. I'll list something other than The Stormlight Archive just because this is getting embarrassing. The books I used to regularly reread were: HP, Eragon and Assassin's Apprentice. (full series rereads, crossing the 10 each) 😌

5) A book on my TBR:

I have a hefty amount of books I bought and never read. Ranging from classics to cheap fantasy-- but alas, my brain is fixated on the other author who doesn't disappoint me and so I just stick to his books XD

Some of the books sitting on my ineffective 'shame you into reading' shelf are: Captive Prince, the rest of the Wolfsong series, the.... shadowhunters books... the new trilogy about Fitz which I have in hardcovers yet never read. And some... others...

6) A book I’ve put down:

One of the reasons I am avoidant of taking on new books at all is because I have a very hard time putting down books I started. I'll suffer through entire series just for the few grains of gratification in the end. Or to... spitefullfy and confidently say it sucked balls.

However... three series managed to break me.

First being GoT, I just didn't manage to get through, not even 10 chapters. A true oddedity for me, but I just couldn't.

Second being The Witcher. I managed to power through like 4-5 books? And then I just couldn't do this to myself anymore. It was so, so, so not my vibe. (even while the pc game is about my most favorite game ever.) 🤷🏻‍♀️

And lastly, although I think I did finish the entire series before deciding that if ever a new book came out, I'll never read it, was the-- god what's the name of it... the First Law Trilogy – The Blade Itself etc from joe abercrombie. What a bleak series! Oh my god!

7) A book on my wish list:

My honest wishlist is just to keep on reading Brando Sando in my slow and enjoying-it phase... Although I admit that there's a large amount of those new spicy fantasy books apparently being released that shorts recommend and older folk rant about, so I naturally do want to check it out to see what's up with that but.... in truth... I just want to keep on enjoying Brando Sando XD

8) A favorite book from childhood:

I genuinely really loved Eragon. Oh and Artemis Fowl was all fun. I also really loved Tunnel in the Sky, like really.

9) A book you would give to a friend:

ngl it'll be an unapologetic The Way of Kings with big and passionate begging session of 'please give it a try' like for real.

In case any one of you is actually interested--- (you don't have to read this part) -inhales deeply-

The Way of Kings is a truly misleading book, that might leave you with the impression that the book is all about wars and kings but that is the furthest from the truth a description and a cover and a name can go.

It has fantasy, it has deep and rich world building, elaborate magic system that is deeply embedded into the story, culture and literal every single stone of the world. There's politics, culture, introspection, deep and varied characters, each reading like the main character of the story, having unique and vibrant personality and motivations.

It is not just a book, it is a work of true and deep love for the genre and writing in general. Beautifully done, enriching and enticing.

And what's most important for people who read too many books?

Hard to predict. It managed to pull the rug from underneath my feet in the most surprising and pleasing ways. Brandon writes in a way that is not 'shock just to shock' nor 'drama just for drama'. Every single scene is true, and forward. You always have everything right in front of you, the key is that you do not know how to put it all together just yet.

That can finally give that refreshing 'I don't know where it's heading but I'm enjoying the experience" I feel I had lost over the years, being able to recognize patterns too easily and predict writing intentions.

God, what a book! It does however have a rough learning curve, being such a massive world, it takes time to ease you in. Say about at least 5 chapters in at the minimum. On a personal note, I recommend the audiobooks read by kate reading and michael kramer, literally the best experience I've ever had, listening to those two bring to life every character and accent and scene, wow!

10) A book of poetry or lyrics that you own:

Come to think of it, I don't actually own any. Ha.

11) A nonfiction book you own:

I don't haha! Looking back, it's a lie, I have a few phycology books gathering dust in various hiding spots.

12) What are you currently reading:

........The Way of Kings....

13) What are you planning on reading next?

.....Words of Radiance.... haha. 😋

Y'all don't need to read all them answers in case you just want to answer it for yourself, or you can skip, too 😊😊😊

@mayhemspreadingguy, @pollyp, @nonbinary-nicolo, @msmongoose, @hardly-an-escape,

@ladymatt, @underacalicosky, @grapenehifics, @your-lordsherlockholmes-posts

@acedragontype, @palfriendpatine66, @heretolurkandnothingmore , @virahaus, @wallsinmyhead

@kittttycakes, @elcaballerodragon, @justsuffilike, @pumpkinkingsalem, @handahbear

@willameena

I am certain this is 13, I am certain. Cheers 💖💖💖

[somecallmejohn]

sleepy rose oneshot ideas (like after they confessed)

1.Simon sleeping but every time Asha is nearby, he would unconsciously move closer/cuddle to Asha

2.Simon having nightmares of killing Asha, has a panic attack, Asha calms him down, sleeping together

3.Simon got drunk, unwittingly flirts with Asha with the cheesiest pickup lines

4.Simon being overprotective of Asha and she gradually gets tired of it

can you write them all? I’m ok if you do it one by one. tho if not, what do you think? Good?

Okee... I really like those ideas even as headcanons, but I am gonna try and write just one of them (for now prolly).

I'm more of an illustrator than a writer, but again if I really want to write that queer Disney-esque fairy tale I've been thinking about for a long while, I will hve to practice my writing skills somehow.

Imma go with the second prompt since it's one I've actually thought about before as it is a headcanon of mine that Simon has some trauma from his brief time being brainwashed by Magnifico.

Anyway, enough yapping. It's time for some cringe writing from a wannabe writer.

(P.S. I altered the situation a bit to take place 2 or 3 months after the events of the movie and before Asha and Simon got together.)

(Post-writing note: this took longer than expected and I ended up writing more than I was planning. I also ended up using some headcanons I've shared in asks and sleepy rose headcanon post, which was kinda fun. Anyways hope you like it!)

It was dark and quiet in the deep woods, where only the snapping of twigs and the sprinting steps of a teenage girl could be heard.

Those stepping sounds belonged to Asha, a girl who had just recently found herself wanted for treason against the kingdom of Rosas. And all that for what? Because she believed that everyone deserved to own their wish and have the chance to chase it and make it a reality.

Asha was running as fast as she could. She didn't even dare to look behind her. But alas, all that running was for nothing as she found herself at a dead end. She tried to look for another exit, but it was already too late, for she could see in the shadows the glowing green eyes of the person chasing after her.

Out of the shadows emerged Simon, but no... This wasn't Simon... not anymore, at least. This was the King's loyal knight, his only knight that was a real human being and not an enchanted armor. Aquired by tricking a teenager so desperate to get the missing piece of himself back that he ended up bertraying the person he cared about the most.

"Oh, Asha..." The knight said with a voice that sounded familiar yet completely foreign to her ears as he was heading towards her."The King is waiting for you. It's a shame to leave him waiting, don't you think?"

His eyes were fixated on her and a menacing yet simultaneously apathetic expression was formed on his face.

"Simon, please, this isn't you!" Asha cried."You're under Magnifico's spell! I saw it! Once he put you in this armor, you've not been yourself ever since!"

He was getting nearer and nearer. Almost everything about him was unrecognizable. His posture, the way he moved, his expression even the way he was dressed.

"But, this is me, you see. Magnifico helped me make my wish come true and he could have done the same to you had you been loyal to Rosas."

At that point, he was just a breath away, towering over her.

"Come on Asha, just tell me where the star is and I promise you Magnifico will forgive you and reward you accordingly. You can have the life many dream of and..."

He took hold of her hand and his expression softened a little. It was as if the real Simon was talking now.

"We could be together at last."

Asha's cheeks flushed. She's had feelings for Simon for longer than she can remember and hoped he'd reciprocate them, but this was not the Simon she loved and this was not a deal she was willing to take.

"No! Never!" She exclaimed, pushing him away and attempting to run as far as she could, but she wasn't fast enough and he caught her by the hand almost instantly.

Everything went pitch black.

"I'm sorry it has come to this way, Asha" the knight said right before the sound of a sword being taken out of its case was heard.

"NO!" Simon exclaimed, waking up in cold sweat.

It was that nightmare again.

He was back at the royal kitchen. Everyone was looking at him. He had fallen asleep laying against the wall yet again.

His face went scarlet red seeing everyone's gaze pinned upon him, especially when he saw Asha's concerned expression.

"I-i..." he struggled to think of some excuse "forgot to bring some flour bags."

He then swiftly left the room to get to the pantry for more flour bags despite the kitchen having already a whole pile of them with enough flour to service them for at least a week.

It's been only a couple months since the redheaded teen had been brainwashed to be used as a pawn in the former King's scheme to capture Asha and Star and although it hardly lasted a day, the effects of that brief time were here to stay.

Every time Simon closed his eyes to sleep, the same type of nightmare would be playing in his head. He'd be in the woods with no control of his body or mind, dressed in the armor Magnifico put him in, chasing after Asha and it'd always end with her captured or something worse.

At first, this nightmare would only play at night. Despite his extreme need for sleep, Simon would keep himself awake at night by training for the upcoming Knight tryouts Queen Amaya had announced, to replace the enchanted armors that had lost any magic in them after Magnifico's defeat, and would take nap breaks during the daytime.

This plan had worked for a couple of days before the nightmares returned. He could no longer escape them and that took a toll on him. He got a lot more tired, failed the tryouts and gave up on his wish of being a noble knight.

With the repeating nightmares reminding him of what he did, he even distanced himself from his friends. He couldn't stand being around the same people he had let down, especially Asha, who he so selfishly betrayed.

Simon stayed in the pantry for a few minutes pretending he was looking for the right flour bags to bring back in the kitchen only for him to instantly fall asleep on a pile nearby.

He was back in the woods, dressed in his knightly attire, chasing after Asha. But, at the moment he was about to draw his sword, something different happened. He felt in control again and let go of it before he... woke up.

When he opened his eyes, he was greeted by the sight of Asha nudging him and asking him to wake up.

"Hmph... Asha?" he said groggily.

"Simon... are you alright?" she asked concerned.

But Asha entered his way placing her hand on his chest to stop him.

"Oh! I-i..." he exclaimed and with a forced smile, trying to sound as upbeat and awake as he could, he said,"Yeah, I'm doing great! Just... looking for the right flour bags." he added a fake chuckle as he stood up and grabbed the first two bags he saw before he proceeded to leave.

"Simon..." she repeated compassionately "you've been acting very strangely lately. You're as tired as ever, even more than you were when you gave your wish away to Magnifico, you've been avoiding us and Queen Amaya even told me that you refused her offer for a second chance at the knight tryouts. I thought being a knight was your wish. Why did you give up on that Simon?"

"I-i just ended up changing my mind." he mumbled struggling to wake up fully "Sometimes wishes change and that's what happened with mine."

"I don't believe that. Your wish was so strong you weren't the same without it, you can't have changed it so quickly!"

"Well, I have!" he said coldly and left with no further explanation.

Later that day, just when the sun had begun to set, somewhere deep in the woods at a spot near a lake, there was the redheaded teen who had just dismounted his horse.

His horse wasn't exactly his perse. It belonged to the royal mews, but Simon had nurtured and taken care of it ever since it was just a foal with the help of his father, who worked there. He'd often take it for a ride from time to time with permission from the queen.

Simon loved horse riding. It was his favorite pastime before he'd given his wish to Magnifico and he still loved it after taking it back. It was the only thing that could clear his mind whenever he felt overwhelmed after a day full of tiny nap breaks and the same nightmare playing in his head again and again.

As he let the horse go drink some water from the lake, Simon sat down under the nearest tree and took out his favorite book to read, it was a fairytale book his mother would read to him every night to sleep. He loved the stories about brave knights saving the maidens and he aspired to be just like them. Even if he had given up on his wish, he could still live through his favorite stories, or at least so he said to himself.

Just as he was about to begin reading, he heard stepping noises approaching him.

"Simon?" a familiar voice sounded

"Asha?" he said, surprised to see her "What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you. You have no idea how worried I and our other friends are about you"

"But, how did you find me?" he asked

"We used to come over here a lot as kids, don't you remember?"

"Oh..." he said, his cheeks turning red "I forgot about that."

"You always loved how quiet it was here." she smiled as she sat next to him "Now tell me. What is going on with you?"

"I told you it was nothing" he said defensively

"Simon..." she placed her hand on his and looked him straight in the eyes "please."

He couldn't help it any longer. It pained him being so secretive and avoiding her and his friends. He wanted it to stop. He wanted the nightmares and the guilt to leave him alone. And he confessed everything about the nightmares and how they've been haunting him for the last few months.

"But Simon, I forgive you" she told him, setting her hand on his shoulder.

"But I don't deserve it!" he cried, tears beginning to form under his eyes. "You trusted me and I betrayed you!"

"And you regretted that and apologized for it and I forgave you. What more is there?"

"I-i don't know... I don't think I deserve to be your friend." he'd finally confessed, looking at the other way.

"Maybe the problem is that you haven't forgiven yourself yet." she suggested, setting her gaze elsewhere as well.

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is that you're so hard on yourself for that mistake you did that even Gabo is concerned about what's going on with you."

"And what if I do "forgive myself" and the nightmares are still in my head? What do I do then?"

"I don't know, but..." she placed her hand on his again and set the other on his cheek to turn his gaze back to her."I'll be here for you"

The two teens kept staring at each other's eyes until Asha's gaze turned to the book Simon was holding.

"What are you reading?" She asked, curiosity filling her eyes.

"Just some fairytales"

"W-would you mind reading them aloud so that I can hear?"

"Sure!"

And so Simon began reading one of his favorite stories as Asha scooched in closer to him.

It didn't take long for the young sleep deprived man to fall asleep once again.

The nightmare played the same way as it always did, but for the second time that day around the end of it, he'd find himself in control again and this time he'd warn Asha about Magnifico's plan and help her go to the castle fast and stop him.

Simon woke up and next to him, Asha was still there and had also fallen asleep next to him with her head resting on his shoulder. The sky had darkened and the moon was up. The horse had even bent down and proceeded to sleep as well.

Simon eventually explained to his other friends about the nightmares and decided to accept the queen's second chance offer and begun training for the next tryouts. He even started taking Asha with him on horse riding sessions and stop by the same spot they fell asleep at where they'd sit to read other stories from the book and take small quick naps together, but this time they'd be home at their time or a little later than that.

He'd thought of waking her up, but ultimately, he ended up going back to sleep next to her. For the first time in a long while there was no nightmare playing in his head.

They stayed there for the remainder of the night and the morning when they returned home needless to say that neither Simon's parents nor Asha's mother were happy about what had happened, but for the two teens it was all worth it in the end, even if he got in trouble at the castle for the horse's longer than expected absence.

The nightmares didn't leave for a while. They came and went, making sleeping hard for Simon, but as time progressed and he began focusing more on his future than his past, they began to fade away until they were gone for good and never returned.

[beyondtheglowingstars]

Ndbasjbhdasjhdv these two have been RATTLING my brain for the longest time (is there actually a time when they're not?) so I had no option but to give in and write a fic. Post ST Link chooses to remain an engineer, I'm pretty sure you'll notice a few specific headcanons of mine shining through on this fic etc, etc. I hope you like it regardless.

Gift

Pairing: Zelda x Link (platonic) Word count: 3.1k WARNING(S): None :) General info: Link had picked up on a small detail during their travels. What he had noticed, it bothered him; but he wanted to fix things and help Zelda experience what she wasn't given the chance to. Meanwhile, she feels in great debt with him and while she isn't able to fully repay him, she does the best she can in that moment even if it's something small.

His mind had been thinking about it for a while now, back to the way she had reacted when she first got on the Spirit Train and experienced what was beyond the immediate proximity of Hyrule Castle.

“It’s so pretty and peaceful out here! I’d love to run through these fields if I ever get my body back.”

And every other comment whenever they traveled to a different area was filled with pure, child-like wonder and excitement; they only helped confirm his suspicions of the princess never having set foot past Castle Town. Had she really been walled up in the castle almost her entire life?

Maybe he was exaggerating things a little. After all, she mentioned that she had seen snow before. Perhaps it was more accurate to think that Zelda had not stepped foot outside of the castle since her parents, the former king and queen, were still alive and in good health. She must have been around eight to ten years of age back then. Which was a very, very long time ago.

He found it ironic, how everyone else essentially had more freedom than the princess of New Hyrule herself. But he wasn’t judging or making fun of the situation, goodness, he could never think of it that way. But it did put into a more clear perspective just how much influence Cole had back then, however. And the more he thought about it, the more upset he felt.

The way her face lit up when she saw snow again since who knows how many years ago, how she had laughed with joy when she saw the dolphins keeping up with the train then leapt out of the water when the whistle was blown, how her eyes fixated with interest on the many flowers and animals in the forest… At this point he realized that he may have, unconsciously, created a mental album where he recorded Zelda’s every reaction to all those new experiences. His anger within did not subside, but there was no use in getting upset about past injustices, was there?

She had gone with him everywhere during the adventure and explored almost every corner of New Hyrule because of it, but there must be a big difference between having seen the world as a ghost compared to a living person. He was on his way to Hyrule Castle to complete a delivery after all, maybe he could try to talk to the princess once he got there and arrange plans for taking her across the vast land of the country; maybe catch up with her too, it had been a month since the adventure concluded and they had seen each other. But as hopeful as he was about getting to see Zelda again, he knew that she had to be incredibly busy with royal duties and wouldn’t have time for something so insignificant. Perhaps some other day.

Link sighed as he set his gaze on what was ahead, Hyrule Castle was quickly coming into view. The train was set to a slower speed, the engineer blew the whistle as he got closer to his destination, and even though he was nearly there, his mind couldn’t stop making him anxious and more wistful for getting to see the princess. Adjusting the gearbox, he brought the train to a slow and calculated stop at the station.

Once he stepped off from the train, he was greeted by a castle town resident. A large man that seemed to be accompanied by another male.

“Link! Thank you so much.” Grinning, the man stretched his hand out for the hero to take, which he did.

Only to later feel a large hand pat his back with enough strength that almost knocked him off-balance. The handshake concluded, Link was about to speak before being beat to it.

“I’m guessing it will be as much as last time, right?” The blond nodded his head in affirmation.

“Here you go!” A small pouch filled with rupees was handed over to the young engineer.

“Don’t worry about unloading, I’ve got a friend to help me with that.” The statement revealing the reason for the other male being there.

And for one, Link was glad about not having to unload the cart from the heavy shipment. The two men almost effortlessly picked up the big boxes and expressed their gratitude towards the hero once again before leaving. He was left alone to his thoughts after that.

His hand absentmindedly clenched around the knot keeping the rupee bag sealed, his body gently rocked back and forth on his heels; maybe he should give a shot at trying to see Zelda again after all, and if it turned out that her hands were too full for something like that, he could always try again later, no problem. Hopefully he wouldn’t be a bother.

The blond put the newly acquired rupees into his wallet and marched towards the castle garden. Various people around the town waved and addressed words of admiration at him, which in all honesty, all the attention overwhelmed him and lowered the small amount of confidence he struggled to gather just to get to the front of the castle. But when he actually got there, one could swear the last remaining fragment of confidence he still had could be heard shattering into a million pieces.

He found himself in a familiar scenario, approaching the two guards at the front of the castle, with one of them eyeing him suspiciously. Even if he had saved the world, it seems like some guards would remain the same as they’ve always been. Link looked back at the guard and swallowed thickly, rehearsing in his mind again what he was about to say to the watchmen as he opened his mouth to speak.

“LINK!!” But this time he would be interrupted by the person he least expected to see.

Both the young engineer and the guards turned to the source of the sound. Clear as day, there was Princess Zelda running to the castle entrance, heading to their direction as she waved to her friend. Link’s face immediately brightened, and he instantly felt relief from all the things he’d been worried about. Zelda practically squeezed in between the two guards, she ran at Link with outstretched arms implying an incoming hug, the hero mirrored her gesture in expectance of a soothing embrace.

What he was not counting on, was for Zelda to squeeze him in a bone-crushing hug. He gasped in surprise, and then it became painfully apparent that he should have taken in a big gulp of air before engaging with the princess, seeing as he wouldn’t be able to properly breathe until the girl chose to let him go.

“LINK! Why didn’t you come visit earlier?!” As if he hadn’t already experienced enough emotions the last few seconds, he also felt himself being lifted off the ground a few centimeters, his cheeks warmed up with a faint red hue.

To make matters worse, he could see one of the guards trying his best to not laugh out loud, while the other one ignored the basic concept of giving the teens a small moment of much needed privacy.

“Pardon my interruption, but Your Highness, you should not venture outside the castle unannounced.” The man in green uniform stated, Link swore that the watchman was looking down at him with a menacing stare.

Zelda put the boy back on his feet after hearing the voice. Not that Link didn’t appreciate the gesture or how the princess was beaming with excitement to see him, but he was definitely grateful to be able to breathe normally again.

“You’re right. Let’s go, Link!” Zelda politely nodded at the guard, taking the engineer’s hand in hers as she replied and practically dragged Link into the castle.

The boy nearly tripped and fell from the unexpected dash. Zelda’s smile had not let up even now as she ran through the corridors holding Link’s hand, the guard in charge of watching the stairs leading to the throne room had to step away or else he risked being ran over by an enthusiastic princess. The hero had no clue where the girl got this much energy from and neither did he know how she was able to run so fast with heels on, all he knew was the way to Zelda’s chambers was a blur and suddenly found himself sitting down on furniture that was probably more expensive than anything he’s ever owned. The monarch sat beside him, the icy blue of her eyes trained on his face.

“Really, what took you so long to come back, Link?” Her arms crossed in front of her chest, face showed a minor pout.

“I’m sorry, Zelda. I figured you were busy so I didn’t want to bother you.” The engineer took his conductor cap in his hands and began fidgeting with it.

Zelda’s eyes widened with a gasp.

“Link, don’t ever say that again!” She lightly squeezed Link’s shoulders, the gesture making the boy become slightly tense, but he loosened up again just as quickly.

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you! Had it not been for the train’s whistle and I wouldn’t have known you were here. You can come whenever you want, you know?”

“If you say so…” Link refused to meet her gaze for the most part, opting to direct his attention to his cap instead, which he was still playing with.

Zelda flashed him a sympathetic smile, one which made the hero audibly let go of a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, and copied her smile. The princess drew back her arms to rest on her lap, the engineer took this moment to adjust the cap back onto his head.

“Yes, really! I mean it. And I haven’t been too busy as of recent, actually. So don’t think you interfered or anything like that.”

Link internally sighed in relief, instantly feeling lighter after knowing that he wasn’t inconveniencing the princess. The boy cleared his throat.

“I’m glad to hear, Zelda.” A shy smile popped on his face.

“Umm, since you’re saying that you haven’t been too busy, I was wondering if you’d like to go on a trip with me across New Hyrule. I figured you didn’t get to enjoy much from the places we went to since we were tight on time and you were, well, a ghost back then.”

The engineer twiddled with his fingers, searching through his brain for the some of the things he’d been practicing in his mind to say in this moment.

“Of course, it doesn’t have to be to be today! You probably have something to do later on, so just tell me when you’re able to go, if you’d like. I can take you anywhere you wish, just tell me where and I’ll get us there.” A half-nervous smile on his face as he hoped that Zelda would take his offer.

The princess stared into Link’s eyes, her expression unreadable to him, and he was almost sure that she was about to reject him and never consider the offer. Until she squealed and he felt himself being squeezed in a hug again. It took him a few seconds to fully process what had happened, but when he reoriented himself he wrapped his arms around Zelda in return. At least this time he didn’t feel like his ribs or any other bone would fracture.

“I’d love to go! Thank you so much!” She separated much sooner than before, lips curved in a grin.

Link thinks it’s the happiest he’s ever seen her until now, and he couldn’t help giggling at her antics.

“Oh, I never did thank you properly for everything you’ve done for me. Yet here you are, giving even more without asking for anything in exchange.” Zelda’s expression became pensive.

“What do you mean? You were always looking out for me during the adventure and saved my butt more than once. Without you, I would have died on the first day! I have nothing to ask of you. I can’t.”

The princess averted her eyes, silently giggling to herself as she recalled a few fun memories from the adventure.

“I guess you’re right. You’re lucky you had me! Otherwise I think you might have slept in the dungeons.”

Link’s cheeks flared up as he picked up on Zelda referencing an embarrassing moment he had in one of the quests.

“H-hey! Here I am, offering to do something nice for you, and this is how you pay me?” A glint of mischief in his eyes as he added exaggerated his tone in a joking manner.

“If you don’t like it, then maybe you should take better care of yourself! And maybe then I’ll stop teasing you.” Link gave a fake huff of indignance.

“But it’s true! If I find out you’re still as careless as you were back then, I’ll put a phantom in your house so you’re reminded of me and do the minimum to take care of yourself.”

The hero pretended to roll his eyes in annoyance, face decorated with an evil smirk.

“If you do that, I’ll invite a rat family to your bedroom so they can turn it into their home.”

The princess gasped in disbelief. This time she was the one whose face dusted with pink on the cheeks as Link chuckled at her reaction.

“Here I am, worrying about your well-being, and this is how you pay me?” Zelda imitated his tone from earlier as if to mock him.

It only made the engineer laugh loudly, until his contagious laughter caught on to Zelda herself and the room was filled by the sound of their combined laughs. They were probably heard all the way from a few corridors away but neither of them cared about the volume of their voice, taking them at least a minute until they were both gasping to recover air and finally calmed down. Zelda was the first to speak again.

“Okay, but really now. I do hope you’re actually looking after yourself now.”

“Alright! I’m not as careless anymore, I promise.” Link put his hands up as a sign of defeat.

Zelda showed a smug smirk, knowing she had won this time, but having no further intentions of teasing Link.

“Well, it was a lot of fun talking with you again. Let’s go, Link!” Zelda swiftly stood up from her seat and set her hand out for Link to take, her demand and actions snapped him out of the head-space he was in.

“H-huh? Go where?”

“On that trip you said you’d take me, dummy!”

“Right now?! Are you sure?” The hero hesitantly took the princess’s hand, standing up much slower than she did in comparison.

“Yes! Oh wait, I forgot to ask you if you’re free for the rest of the day, didn’t I?” Zelda flashed him an apologetic smile, letting go of his hand. “Do you still have to do something today?”

Link looked to the side, scanning his mind to make sure there wasn’t any unattended business he has to take care of later, but he didn’t find anything. Well, there wasn’t anything except for a minor favor Alfonzo had asked him to fulfill. But he knew his instructor well and it wasn’t anything urgent; surely, Alfonzo wouldn’t mind if Link took longer to complete his task if he found out that Zelda was involved.

“No, not anymore. I’m free now.” He smiled to hide the lie, which Zelda bought anyway.

The girl punched the air in celebration. Link half-expected the princess to bolt out of the room right that moment with him in tow like she had done earlier, but was thankful to see that wasn’t running out yet.

“So, where would you like to go, Your Highness?” The engineer wiggled his eyebrows at Zelda as her formal title rolled out of his tongue.

The princess rolled her eyes and poked one of his sides a few times to tickle him, making Link cover that vulnerable section and Zelda drew back her hand, satisfied on the inside that she was able to get back at the other teen. She held her chin on one of her hands, taking on a pose of thought as she hummed and wondered where she wanted to go.

“How about you take me to Aboda Village? I want to know more about you.”

Link stared at her with a face of confusion, but ultimately didn’t question her decision like he first intended to.

“If that’s where you wanna go, then I’ll take you there.”

“Great! It’s time to go, then.” Zelda was beginning to head out, but Link didn’t follow her as a question of importance spun in his head.

“Zelda, wait. Don’t you need a guard to go with you?”

“Under regular circumstances, I would. But since I’m going with you, you’ll be my escort this time.” The princess stated as if she weren’t talking about something important at all.

“You can do that?! Are you sure?” Link’s eyes widened in surprise.

“I have more freedom now that a certain someone isn’t here anymore, so I fully make the rules now! Well, I do for the most part…” The last sentence coming out in a whisper.

“I trust you, Link. You saved my life before, and I know you’d do it again if you had to. Just like I’d do the same for you in a heartbeat if it ever came to it.”

The hero was left speechless, body unmoving as several feelings ran through his head.

“And if anyone were to doubt you, I’ll be there to remind them why you’re more capable than any other swordsman in New Hyrule! If you had chosen to become part of the castle guard, you’d have ended as my personal body guard.”

Link let out a giggle of joy and took the princess’s hand in his, feeling more determined than he ever had before.

“Well, Your Highness, you’re in luck that I keep my sword in my train. Now let’s go back to adventure!”

Zelda mentally pat herself on the back as she considered to have achieved a significant victory for the day. She was happy to see Link come out of his shell little by little, but she thought the cherry on top was to know that he was feeling confident. She nodded at him in approval with energy, while making it a new goal for herself to help Link have more of these moments. She believes that he very well deserves them more than anyone else.

[goosemixtapes]

max's top books of 2023 :3c

as usual, these rankings are based on some arcane mix of objective quality + my personal enjoyment (previous year's lists)

it was another weird reading year! i did a lot of reading for school, more so than in the past; some of it was really good and some of it was, uh. well, some of it was william wordsworth. nothing i absolutely loathed, though (most of the reads i disliked were books i could at least appreciate on an art/history level), which is cool. so i'm bringing back the runner-up category. did not make it onto my top ten list but were really good anyway: beartown by fredrik backman (books that no joke made me understand why people are insane about sports) and the GORGEOUS re-release of my dear @yvesdot 's debut, something's not right, which i have read before but will always gladly revisit again.

my top anticipated release for 2024 is alecto the ninth again.

(but shoutout also to just happy to be here, king cheer, and henry henry. trans people! shakespeare, even!)

and the list! in increasing order of enjoyment, with pictures this year!

10. The Common Liar by Janet Adelman

no, i can't believe i'm doing this either. i can't believe i did all that preamble and the first book on my list is an academic thesis analyzing shakespeare's antony and cleopatra. but also? it's the only book anyone ever needs to write about shakespeare's antony and cleopatra. janet adelman said it all. which is cool, because i have a fixation on that play, but also sucks, because i was also trying to write an essay on it and mine wasn't nearly as good. btw if anyone wants to buy this for me, somehow, for the $120 it costs on amazon because academia is awful, i will send you my address,

9. Robert Icke's Oresteia

i don't need to say anything about this play, because it's the source of "this was always going to happen. she's been dead since the beginning." that should be enough. but after becoming deranged about the oresteia last year, i finally read this, and holy shit, this adaptation of the story is so fucking genius and icke's writing is so fucking good. it's antiwar! it's about mental illness! there's gender! the fucking ENDING! (i have a pdf if anyone would like it. anything to plug this play bark bark bark rufrufruf grrrrrr)

8. Down Girl: the Logic of Misogyny by Kate Manne

this is a little bit cheating, because i haven't finished this book yet, so maybe in the final chapters manne will say something like "what if we blew up every orphan" and i'll have to retract this. but right now it's fucking excellent! i've been making an effort to read more nonfiction lately, and this one shines; manne sets out to analyze misogyny not as a personal hatred of women that some men harbor, but as an intricate and structural system forcing women into the role of Giving (attention, affection, power, etc; sometimes their lives). and it's sooooo smart. some of it is stuff i already know (and some of it is Academic Philosophy TM that goes right over my head), but manne articulates her point excellently and i can feel it rearranging my brain, so it's going on the list for longevity and skill!

7. Dictator by Robert Harris

does this book objectively deserve to be on this list? you know what, yeah. i'll say it with my whole chest. i don't like how harris writes women and there are plenty of things to pick at in his cicero trilogy, but i had so much goddamn fun reading it that i can't not put it on the list. this was my year of being really really into cicero, and this was fun to read alongside e-pistulae. harris is sooooo good at making ancient roman politics gripping. the last scenes of this book. augh. ack. ough!

6. Detransition Baby by Torrey Peters

there are a lot of valid critiques of this one (a lot of bad critiqus, too, but such is writing literally anything about transness), but i fucking adored it. i LOVE dual timelines, i LOVE unlikable characters, and i FUCKING LOVE TRANSSEXUALITY! moreover, i love that peters isn't afraid to Go There, to poke at the messy ugly sides of transness (and queerness in general) that i think a lot of us don't like acknowledging, especially to cishet people whose view of the community is already skewed. i don’t think this is the One Great Trans Novel; i think there are a lot of great trans novels, and we need more. but this one did hit me RIGHT in the chest, and i couldn't put it down.

5. Wrath Goddess Sing by Maya Deane

the iliad but achilles is a trans woman and she's fighting the war on both mortal and divine levels and she and helen have an insane homoerotic half-god rivalry and everybody is fucking crazy. pitched as "for fans of TSOA" but as i said in my review if TSOA is a pleasant but watery iced tea then this book is gasoline laced with crack. there is a bisexual transgender threesome. i fucking love women. book of the fucking summer

4. White Teeth by Zadie Smith

i probably enjoyed wrath goddess sing more, but i can't not rank this book highly on this list. this book is such a fucking masterpiece. it's tolstoy for the modern age. it's a sprawling multi-familial multi-cultural multi-generational epic about race and gender and religion and science and humanity and britishness. smith's prose is fucking amazing; her character work is even better; this book has no plot but it uses its length sooooooo well. the first zadie smith i've read, but by god there will be more. she wrote this at TWENTY-FIVE. that's fucking CRAZY. do you know how much control over your craft you have to have to write this at twenty-five. bonkers. it is also the only enjoyable book i read in my modern literature class, so shoutout to white teeth for keeping me sane,

3. The Secret to Superhuman Strength by Alison Bechdel

this book is ostensibly about bechdel's relationship with exercise. it is actually about bechdel's relationship with her own body, her own soul, her desire for individualism in the style of the transcendentalists, transcendentalism in general, mortality, and aging. i can't really tell you more than that because i didn't actually "read" this so much as i absorbed it through my skin like a frog while trying not to tremble like a little purse dog. i am not gonna lie man i did not have a very good. um. august. or september. or october november december. so this book really could not have come at a better time. alison bechdel i am obsessed with you

2. The Essential Dykes to Watch Out For by Alison Bechdel

ALISON BECHDEL I AM OBSESSED WITH YOU!!!! this one narrowly edges out secret to superhuman strength because... well, i'm sort of rating the entire comic strip's run, and dude. holy shit. i love lesbians so much. this strip is such an important piece of lesbian history; it reminded me that a lot of the things lesbians (and LGBT people in general) argue about and deal with today are... the same things we've always argued about and dealt with, from intracommunity label discourse to global politics to hitting on women badly. but history aside--it's also just really fucking good! it's really funny! if you are a neurotic leftist, as so many of us are, it's hysterical! it's smart! it's hot! it's heartwarming! i read it over the first half of the year, in little bits and pieces, and by the end i felt like i really had gone decades with these characters. really just. so good. the power she has the range she has

1. the suzanne collins reread

okay. this one is definitely cheating. because i usually like to keep this list to books i'm reading for the first time, and i HAVE read the hunger games and the underland chronicles. but i read them, like, almost ten years ago, and i was not prepared to be so thoroughly fucking bodied by them this time around, now that i have critical thinking and analysis skills. we all know the hunger games is a fucking banger, so let me pitch the gregor the overlander series: something of a modern alice in wonderland setup, where the eleven-year-old main character falls into an underground world full of strangeness, except this world isn't whimsical, it's dangerous and stuffed with giant talking animals like bats and rats and cockroaches. there's a war on. there are plagues. there are war crimes. there is a plotline that is extremely explicitly about ethnic cleansing. there is some of the most heartbreaking fucking shit you've ever read in your goddamn life. there is also a rat who quotes macbeth and the underlanders revere a guy named bartholomew of sandwich. this series is for middle schoolers. i cried. not when i was a middle schooler reading it the first time; i mean now. so i'm breaking my no-rereads rule, because it really would be a lie to say that my best reading experience wasn't revisiting all of collins' work with my friends (yes, i read TBSOS; i think it's fine but not great). sorry to give publicity to an author who definitely doesn't need my help, but a few years ago my #1 spot went to shakespeare, so.

if you've read this far: thank you! please tell me your thoughts! tell me your favorite books of 2023! tell me which books you're excited for in 2024! and have a very lovely new year :)

[emeraldracer]

I've watched the ep twice. First time I was a bit inebriated, so it was mostly fun, and I fixated on Dubai. Second time numbed me completely. I'm gonna need days to digest.

Things that stood out to me immediately, though.

The ep feels like a play from start to finish. Although more in the beginning when Louis starts speaking.

Score is a big part of the impression.

Louis has more chemistry with the vision of Lestat than with the "real" Lestat. I think it's both the writing and Sam's acting. More tender even in cruelty.

They've fully succeeded in biting=sex because that loustat bite reads like a rape. The fact that Louis is doing it to himself is also something to think about.

Every soviet soldier who spoke russian had no accent. I really hope it's the same for other languages. Jacob and Delainey are also both so good.

They very much feel like father and daughter. Better not think of what's ahead.

Andrei cameo. Probably answering the question if they are keeping Armand's original name. Imo, it won't be in the show twice.

The cut from the nightmare scene to Emilia's murder is a deliberate punch to the gut. But very beautiful, thank you. (Look how fast I become masochistic.)

Dubai stuff. Where did Armand go after Daniel rounded on real Rashid?

This bed is horrendous.

Stolen Rembrandt. Auctions. THE BED. We have Armand the hoarder king here. I adore how ridiculous it all looks together.

Daniel calling himself a young reporter.

Bonus one from the new trailer. Armand stroking the tape recorder.

[acefaun]

Does anybody miss our old days ( few months ago), when we were active? When we were interacting with each other?

YES 🥺 Lord, that was the best time.

The post-Renaissance boom that might be going on under my nose? I've been thinking about how sad it is, that I've been basically non-existent on Instagram for the past couple years which I used to thrive on, and I haven't been on Tumblr in forever. 😵‍💫 But I'm slowly, very slowly working on a funny mother's day fic at least. So, ✨ we got something in progress. I'm tryna get back into it!

I'm also trying to get back into actually reading fics, because inspiration feeds inspiration, ya know? And people got nice things I've never seen. But I haven't had time to just sit and read. I've still got a fun Hobbit book I haven't been able to pick up!

But to be fair, I didn't have 2 jobs a few months ago... Now I suddenly had to pick up slack and work a morning job and run a business in the afternoon. And my banner came out nice for the business! We even have cool work tshirts now that I'm selling.

Along with those two jobs, I also got a girlfriend last month. 😚 I never thought I'd date someone with a child, but here I am. 👀 It's fine! We've been besties since high school so it seems like it was a matter of time. I was already named the nanny of the little bean so now I'm just even more part of the family. It's a nice emotional recharge when my jobs get to be too much. I suggest an emotional-recharge girlfriend for anyone in need.

She's got me started watching Hazbin Hotel with her. And I've been on a Alastor/Lucifer kick lately.

Alastor because scary deer man. Spooky radio demon. 🥴

Alastor=Deer Me=Faun Alastor=Me

And Lucifer because... Well, King of Hell, am I right? 🔥💕 Powerful King man. Sad fallen angel dude that sings beautifully and has a quirky fixation? I want.

But yes! 🥺 Once I finish all this extra business prep stuff, I hope I have more free time to be creative again. I'm writing a total of two sentences a day at this point and I'm not getting anything finished. But I have unwritten ideas and plots and that's what counts right? No? It only counts if it's posted and readable. ✨ I'll get there eventually.

Until then.... Let's just say what great fandoms we have and hope our patience can last a bit longer before our next mental breakdown! ✨

[residentdormouse]

Can I ask you to ramble about your current hyperfixation?

I am always up for some rambling! Thank you for the ask!!

Unfortunately for my non-fandom followers, my hyperfixation has not changed for the past two and a half years. (All mutuals now groaning, ‘Shut up about the Stand, Mouse.’) I still cannot explain my extended fix; usually I'm a year tops. Hook onto a character, appease the yearning rats, move on. Not this time…

This may have to do with the fact that the Fandom is smaller. Other fixations, I could casually scroll Tumblr for fan art, find stories to scratch the itch on AO3, and passively ride the wave until something pulled me in another direction. Couldn't do that here. There were like 11 stories for ‘the Stand’ that even tagged Glen Bateman as a character. Some of them were prior to the version of Glen that took up residence in my brain (2020 miniseries), and none of them had him as a primary focus. What's a girl to do, right? Write also turned out to be the answer. So this was the first time I was writing and posting fanfic to AO3. About 290k words later, and almost a year of digging into their characters, here I am, stuck on the same damn guys. The rats are still yearning, and I have no further way to appease them. (Although, I'm sure they will thank you for indulging them now.)

But yeah, still 100% hooked on Stephen King's ‘the Stand’, and specifically the newest 2020 miniseries version. I blame Kinnear's version of Glen. He's a great character in the other versions, but the stars aligned with his take. Witty. Intelligent, but with a cheek and lightheartedness. Logical, yet open to the new world of the unknown. Questioning, but true to himself and loyal to those around him. Speaking his mind, and saying what he believes, regardless of the danger it poses. (And this is not even touching the vaping, which is a fantastic touch, and definitely a way to my heart as well.) Plus, I've always loved Kinnear as an actor, just never saw him in a role where I connected to his character like this. I truly was doomed from the start.

And that's pretty much how it went too. The first damn scene he’s in, and I'm instantly hit with the ‘holy fuck, I love this character’ K.O. punch. Cause that's what I really need for a hyperfix to stick, love for a character.

Then the end of that same episode. This look…

I could go on for days about this look. A ‘Man of Science’ facing the reality of the previously unbelievable. His world view shaken, and now left to piece the puzzle back together. Tear down what he ‘knew’, and start looking at things from a new perspective. This single moment where the world changed for him. It's just… 🤌

I love this fictional man. He has hijacked my brain, and honestly, not really seeing a problem. He can stay as long as he wants. I'll give him some paints, and he can chill up there making fun commentary about life. Maybe give some helpful insight.

But yeah, the Stand still top hyperfixation for me. I have a love of the story as a whole too, don't get me wrong. Read the book, have the ‘94 series, picked up the comics… And other characters have worked their way into my heart too (Lloyd Henreid, I'm talking about you), but Glen was, and still is, the reason I'm here so long after.

Was that rambling enough? Too much? I have no gauge. But I will always elaborate if asked. Do not be afraid to ask, this is why I'm here!!

[decladams]

YES i love all that! i was hoping they would be transfem, it’s such an underrepresented “headcanon.” my personal image of adam leans very nonbinary/transfem, especially post Cabeswater Incident. i became an ethel cain fan after i’d started thinking about adam that way but her version of rugged southern femininity is definitely a good reference point. i’m curious about your thoughts on transfem adam and ronan in terms of their “journey,” appearance, etc. basically i just want to know more of your thoughts in general haha.

yeahhhh!!! for context: in the fic i'm imagining ronan being out as transfem (socially transitioning but not much else) but adam still questioning and that's where my notes/thinking comes from so here's a condensed version of my other written ramblings

so i feel like ronan's hypermasculinity (the cars and racing and alcohol and drugs etc.) is possibly overcompensation for not really feeling like a man at all. and like he's got this image of niall as like a Man™ and being so similar (and constantly compared) to niall, ronan is desperately trying to emulate that. also general anger issues, like, yeah, stifling parts of yourself for years is going to do that 👍. ALSO with the whole dreamer thing it's like "dreamers are to be classified as weapons" and when you're an eldritch being that can dream things to life what is gender anyway?

for adam i feel like his upbringing it doesn't really lend itself to questioning and so by the time he got into aglionby it was such a good opportunity that he just kept repressing it to try and be a Boy™ that fits in with all the other rich white boys. but adam being adam, he doesn't fit in with them but he thinks it's the trailer park and not the fact that he just doesn't feel like a boy/man at all. like ronan, being a Man™ has connotations (fathers yk?) but unlike ronan he doesn't want to be his father at all. also, similar to ronan being a dreamer, adam had that connection to cabeswater and like yeah forests don't really have gender and that was new and fun and interesting and cracked the egg a bit maybe.

out of personal experience some of my friends' brothers attend all-boys schools in the area (i attend an all-girls) and those are toxic little hellholes at times. aglionby is probably just like the rest of them which is to say terribly transphobic and homophobic which just layers on the repression for all of them. and then with everything in trc canon you don't have time to unpack that until school is done and dead kings are done etc etc.

i guess that's mostly journey/explanation? im not sure this answers anything sorry but it is fun to write multiple paragraphs about something im very fixated on at the moment haha

[starryeyed-seer]

midnight, mask, and hide. for all of ur little guys

Oooo thank you. I need to develop these guys more and secrets and suffering is a key neathly spice.

mask: Does your OC wear a mask, literally or figuratively? What goes on beneath it? Is there anyone in their life who gets to see who they are under the mask?

Enoch's life is divided. In London, he drinks and parties and pays for stranger's bills. He's a wonderful Society dinner guest, just dangerous enough it's exotic, and willing to wear glasses dark enough to hide his weird eyes. He is seen where he needs to be, and he acts as what he is supposed to be. The Zee offers him freedom, long quiet nights and the finality of The Hunt. Neither feels like enough, but he doesn't know what will. Maybe the next death.

He leads a very, very lonely life, but doesn't admit to himself this is the case. He's sure he's capable of anything he sets his mind to, and doesn't feel the need to involve others in these plans. A lot of people who interact with him see a certain emptiness in his actions, but he wouldn't admit to it if called out. He's 100% sure he's 100% fine.

-

Mikhail is a large collection of masks in a glittery trenchcoat. I haven't gotten a good enough grasp of devil psychology to say for certain, but 'Mikhail's true self' is buried pretty deep in that beeswax shell of hers.

She finds mocking the heavens amusing and has devoted her aesthetic to it, but in doing so remains rooted in the past. Devils have moved on to new civilizations, far from kings, but Mikhail remains fixated on old failings and follies. This comes from a bitter core for the cycle of existence itself, and the feeling all things exist in a cycle that can't be escaped from. Nothing lasts, no good will remains good forever, so utopia exists without crumbling.

She does share this side of her, but only when in a poor mood, at which point she might wake Grieje in the middle of the night, smoking something horrible, standing in the doorway to vent her angers.

-

Grietje doesn't hide much, because she herself is quite hidden. Most of the time she is in bed or dreaming, and has very few contacts. She is so relieved to have company or go outside that she will put aside anything bothering her in order to make the most of it. This means she tends to be socially passive, desperate to keep the atmosphere pleasant no matter what.

Her life is defined by thresholds and distance, and she wants most of all to be seen. When she tries to express this, she writes romantic poetry people make fun of, and when she tries to talk about it, she is usually talking to the Grey-Aro Enoch or the Aro Mikhail. When she writes to her bohemian contacts, she finds sympathy but also story after story that remind her how Distant she is from all she wants- but she is just thankful to talk at all.

-

-

-

midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

Enoch has plenty of nightmares, but I haven't figured out quite what yet. I think he should be haunted by something... beyond that though, he definitely has frequent dreams of his many deaths. As much as he enjoys the adrenaline rush at the time, the moment of death, the memories haunt him. In his dreams, he only feels fear, and he can't fight back or control anything. He also has a lot of dreams involving being torn apart and dissolving into an angry mass of his victims and fallen crewmates.

He tries to fight off sleeping by being productive. Sometimes he goes to his laboratory and drinks coffee, and usually wakes up fully by the time he's accidentally given himself a severe chemical burn. Sometimes he just drinks and takes the next day off, or takes some honey to try and find something pleasant.

-

I'm not sure devils need to sleep or dream. Mikhail is about as fearless as most devils, but certainly can work herself into fits of irritation that, as said, usually involve ranting to Grietje at 3am while smoking. She also will pace and talk to herself, and some nights can be found wandering London's sidestreets looking pissed as hell and muttering archaic curses. She also would probably poison herself for fun.

-

Grietje has many dreams, especially since she's a frequent honey dreamer. The least pleasant of them involve losing her ability to speak, write, and eventually communicate at all. Sometimes she dreams of endless staircases she has to pull herself up, sometimes she dreams of a tiny little box.

Very often, she dreams of rejection- the sense of a person, place, or even concept picking her out in specific and saying No. Not You. Lovers denounce her at the altar, crowds slip away when she stands in them, and gravity singles her out as solely undeserving. When she can't sleep, she writes it all out.

-

-

-

hide: What does your OC hide? Why do they hide it?

Enoch hides his pelegin eyes among polite Society. It's much like his gender: they weren't okay with it, until they were, because he was rich and important now. They can tolerate it, but it's impolite to flaunt it.

I'm so sure he has many deep dark secrets. I need to discover more of them. He certainly hides most of his emotions, and tries to hide how bad a person he is with acts of charity and a fake attitude of being more low-key than he is.

-

Mikhael almost certainly has big grand secrets I haven't nailed down yet. I haven't decided what her life was like in the High Wilderness yet! She could have been a low ranked peon who simply survived and observed, but it's probably more fun to give her some importance. It feels a bit too much to make her like a former grand devil or judgement though, but I need to figure out what made her like this.

Certainly, she's been around and through a lot, and feels life is a series of turning wheels which can be sped up and slowed down but cannot cease- what was will be, and what will be will pass. Light will become dark and then the dark will become light. The angels are the devils are the angels.

Technically Mikhael hides from Grietje her exact reasoning for her patronship, but Grietje knows she isn't a good writer and is just glad to be paid.

[artartartsstuff]

ABOUT ME!!

(I will not say my age bc I'm a minor)

Hello!!! I'm Louis, pronounced either 'lew-is' or 'lew-ie', I don't mind!! My nicknames are: lou, Louis Vuitton, pup, and more that I can't remember!! I'm trans-masc and I'm VERY masc presenting (I look very male), my pronouns are He/they/star (sometimes pup but it's confusing so I don't use it often)! I'm omnisexual (male pref) but I've mainly dated women in my past!! I've only recently started being attracted to men and it hit HARDD.

TW: Info on me (things that are touchy) I used to struggle alot with alchohol, but mid January a year ago I decided it was too consuming and I was failing all my classes, now I only drink if supervised and when I do drink, I limit myself! October (halloween night) I had an incident that ended in police officers and a 8 month long investigation, I will not trauma dump (for obvious reasons) but it was related to S@, so please don't talk about it to me!!

I am diagnosed autistic and diagnosed with medicated (lightly) ADHD! As well as that, I have a panic disorder (idk the details, my mom knows tho) and I'm working towards getting my diagnosis for OCD!! I fidget alot and stutter when talking (because I talk faster then actually thinking of the words), I have mainly physical stims (rocking back and forth, hand flapping and blinking aggressively) but I can vocal stim (when I'm REALLY agitated and stuff)!!

I'm hyper fixated on: SCREAM!!, The boy (Brahms), Smosh, Jellyfish, the goldfinch and Scooby Doo!!

Fun fact: I've broken both my arms, both my legs, all the fingers in my right hand, my nose, my ankle, my shoulder, my collarbone, my wrist and I smashed my knee cap in last year!

Another fun fact: I went to Egypt afew days ago and went in the red sea, then I started coming out in a large (purply-black) burn all up both my ankles and feet (and half way up my leg on the left), when we got home we got it checked out and turns out it's an allergic reaction to a jellyfish sting! (You can faintly see ribbon like burns that are darker in it) The doctor says it will scar, but it's rlly pretty so I'm okay with it!!

Fun fact: I'm allergic to sunscreen, citrus(barley), ginger and pineapple!! (And apparently jellyfish stings???)

I draw, write, paint and play base guitar!! I have 5 American green tree frogs (called: pickle, dumpling, sushi, jellybean and churro) I also have 2 dogs and a cat, wait yeah, I have 4 rabbits too!! (Dogs: dotty, Yorkie. Cat: Cindy-lou who. Bunnies: biscuit, banana (my bunnies) and moon, patches)!! I read alot, mainly Stephen King though!! (I annotate books so I can write better in my own work)

I listen to: Nirvana, Deftones, Slipknot, Korn, the beatles, TV girl, some mitski, Alex g, arctic monkeys, lamp, the cure, the smiths and the cranberries!! (I obviously listen to more artists but you get the point, mainly indie and some heavy metal!!)

Colours to personally describe me: brown- but like a soft earthy brown, purple- deep purple bc why not, orange- I hate the colour orange but alot of ppl say I give that energy!

HOPE YOU ENJOYED LEARNING ABT ME!!!!