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chaoticharrington · 6 months ago

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Chapter One: Professor Harrington and Mr. Munson

***THERE WILL BE LOTS SMUT 18+ CONTENT EVENTUALLY SO MINORS THIS IS NOT A SPACE FOR YOU, MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED,IF YOU DONT HAVE AN AGE IN YOUR BIO I WILL LIKELY ASSUME YOU'RE A MINOR AND BLOCK. DM FOR ANY QUESTIONS THANKS!<3***

Pairing: Professor! Steve Harrington x Best Friends Dad! Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Not much...YET.. lots of smutty smutt smutt to come. Vague mention of depression/ bad childhood/anxiety , mention of drug use/ cigarette smoking, Eddie and Steve being hot, Reader is in their mid 20s and Eddie and Steve are early to mid 40s

Summary: Reader moves to the one and only Hawkins, Indiana and meets her sexy new sociology professor and realizes she might have a crush on her best friends dad..oops

Authors Note: Hi folks!!! this is so nerve wracking i've never really properly written for either of these characters before except in my head and reading lots and lots of smut! I really hope you guys like it, i'm really excited for what's to come for this series, I haven't thought of a name for it yet so i'm just going to go chapter by chapter but its gonna be a fucking wild ride so buckle your seat belts :) 4k words (Also older Eddie pic by the lovely @eddiemunsons-missingnipple )

**Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five**

(banners and headers by @cafekitsune)

Were you doing the right thing? Could you do this on your own? What if you failed?

Your head filled with doubt now that your dreams you’ve had since you graduated high school were now coming to fruition. You saved up all the money you could, working odd jobs for a few years after high school to have enough money to get out of your hometown and into a good college states away.

You shake away all the negative thoughts, no. This had to work you were going to make sure it worked. This is your new start, to create your own life. It had to be better than back home, where no one gave a shit about you and your own parents didn’t care enough to stick around after you graduated high school, not that they were the most involved parents to begin with anyways. Even the friends you had back home were just party related or friends of friends, you were always on the outside looking in, never properly fitting anywhere. The only reason you decided to move specifically to Hawkins was because your only real friend, Violet, that you’ve had since you were 12 had moved here 10 years ago and you’d made a pact long ago that if you ever got out of that town, you’d follow her here.

You pinch your fingers to the bridge of your nose, willing the thought of your parents and back home to go back into the little dark corner of your brain. You can’t breakdown now, not right before your first class, how pathetic would that be?

“Focus focus focus, come on you got this.” you muttered quietly to yourself over and over until the anxiety subsided. You take a deep breath, willing your lungs to fill with air to cool down your buzzing insides. You look in your car mirror to make sure your makeup still looked good and fidgeted with your clothes.

You were never one to obsess over your appearance by any means, but you really wanted to make a good first impression. You had your hair pulled up into a butterfly clip and had on your favorite dress a pair of black tights and your trusty Dr. Martens. With one final look in the mirror, you sigh and grab your bookbag and get out of your car. You look on your phone to triple check that you were in the right place, the last thing you needed was to be lost or even worse late to your first class.

You’d only moved into your apartment off campus the day before so you haven’t had time to look around the town or get used to your surroundings yet. You noted that your car didn’t stick out like a sore thumb. Your car was a few years old and was always something of an insecurity for you. But most of the cars that filled the almost completely full parking lot were older or used cars, which put you at ease. You head into the Humanities and Social Sciences building and check for a fourth time, Sociology 101 room E142 Professor Harrington.

The room is much bigger than you thought, chairs and desks circling the podium at the front of the room. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as the room was only half full of other stressed out looking students preparing for their day ahead. You decide to pick a seat towards the middle of the room to not look too eager.

As you’re getting your laptop and books out of your bookbag you hear footsteps walking into the room and the girls behind you immediately start giggling and whispering to each other. You look to see where they’re looking hoping they aren’t making fun of you, you see them biting their lips and looking at the front of the class. You follow their eyeline and your breath hitches.

Where your sociology professor should be standing is an Adonis, he has thick honey brown hair, peppered with grey, that frame his handsome face. His skin impossibly sun kissed like he’d just come back from a tropical island and not living in Hawkins, Indiana. He smiles nervously at the class; his smile is warmer than the sun despite his nervousness, warming you from the inside out. He’s wearing a white button down covered by a navy blue sweater, a pair of grey slacks and black high top converse.

“Ahoy folks! Are you guys ready to set sail on this vast ocean called Sociology with me? I’ll be your Captain Professor Harrington!” he claps his hands, his eyes waiting and hoping for a response.

The girls behind you giggle and a few other students around the room follow suit, he sighs contently. He goes onto explaining the syllabus and assignments for this semester. The class flies by, he’s easy to listen and pay attention to, sure his looks help but he seems genuinely interested in what he’s teaching. Which is a breath of fresh air, you diligently take notes, making sure not to miss anything. Before you know it, class is over and people start packing up their things.

“Oh class before I forget, if any of you are commuters, come get a parking pass from me unless you want a ticket.” he announces to the class, most of the class you assume living in the dorms hurry out of the room.

“Because not only are we charging students tuition we are also charging students just to park on campus, capitalism at its finest folks,” he snorts, shakes his head, and walks to his desk leaning against it.

After finally putting all your things away and checking where your next class is you head up to him. Just being near him makes your heart beat a million miles a minute, like your unworthy of being in his presence let alone so close to him.

He smiles warmer and wider as you stand in front of him, “Hey what can I do ya for?” he asks brightly.

“Oh, uh, I just need a parking pass if that’s okay,” you say quietly.

“More than okay my dear!” he declared. You blush at his words while he picks around in his desk drawer for a parking pass. His nose scrunches up in frustration as the digging becomes hastier and more urgent.

“I coulda swore I put em in here… or did I leave them in my office?... shit,” he breathes.

You giggle at his disorganization, and he looks up at you embarrassed, you wondered how a man who looks like how he does could ever be embarrassed about anything. The girls who sit behind you would agree.

“I promise I’m not usually this discombobulated.. just uh first days always come sooner than I think.” he chuckles

You nod knowingly at him “No worries I can always get it tomorrow or something.” you say waving his worries off.

He looks up at you through his glasses relieved “Really? That- that would be amazing. I would go grab them from my office, but I don’t think I have enough time to before my next class.” He studies you for a second like he’s actually looking at you for the first time.

“What’s your name again hun?” he says casually, as he opens his computer and types on his keyboard.

Your heart flutters at the continued use of nicknames, you take a second to study him again before you respond. He’s hunched over his desk, typing and clicking away on his computer like he’s searching for something. His eyes crinkled at the edges with age, memories of many days smiling and being in the sun. You notice his freckles that adorn his face and neck that you couldn’t see during class. If you had it your way, you’d take your time to count them all to try and make sense of his godly beauty. And his hands.. his hands look so strong effortlessly gliding across his keyboard.

You must have taken too long to answer because he looks up at you expectantly and raises his eyebrow and smirks. You shake your head slightly trying to regain your composure.

“S-sorry first day jitters, my heads a bit scrambled,” you confess to him. You tell him your name quickly, you hoped that your cheeks didn’t look as red as they felt.

His eyes softened a bit and nodded and continued to type on his computer for a couple more seconds before turning to you again.

“I emailed campus security to let them know that it’s my fault you don’t have a pass and if they do give you a ticket just bring it to me and I’ll sort it out for you, okay?” he states and steps away from his computer to face you again.

“Oh wow thank you so much Mr. Harrington, I really appreciate it!” you chirp

His face scrunches up at the name, and chuckles, some of his honey brown hair falling in front of his face, his hand ready to catch them and put the strands back in place. You were mesmerized.

“Uh Mr. Harrington is my father, call me Steve er Professor Harrington works to if you don’t want to be on a first name basis.” He says kindly

“Oh well thank you regardless…Steve.” his name sounds foreign but good on your tongue. You stare at your shoes and then realize that you’ve been in here looking at your professor for far too long.

What the fuck were you thinking? He probably thinks you’re insane but is too nice to say so.

“Ya of course,” he dismisses you easily.

“Anyways I don’t wanna keep you, have a good day,” you apologize.

"You too Y/N,” he calls, as you head out the door, glad that your back is to him so he can’t see you blush again just because he said your first name.

“Get it the fuck together.” you mutter to yourself as you walk aimlessly out of his classroom.

The rest of the day goes without a hitch, you find yourself actually excited for the upcoming topics in your classes. You’ve never given yourself the opportunity to properly nerd out about the things you’re interested in.

You finally get back to your car after all your classes and groan at the sight of a ticket stuck onto your windshield.

“Fuck…” you whine

Too tired to get it taken care of today you drive home and plop on your bed. Even though your classes were super interesting, it was very mentally draining. Extra draining because you’ve tried to force your brain to focus on classes and not think about your sexy sociology professor.

Was he this nice to all his students? Did you catch him eyeing you up while you were talking or were your eyes playing tricks on you? You keep trying to reassure yourself he is just really nice. But his hands… his smile…

You groan and rub your hands against your face trying to shake all the whirling thoughts out of your head. You force yourself to think about literally anything else, then your tummy rumbles. You haven’t had time to grocery shop considering you had just moved in yesterday and your fridge was completely empty except for some bottles of water and condiments.

Your phone buzzes next to you on your bed, you open it and smile.

“BITCHHHH I MISS U COME OVER! You’ve been in Hawkins over 24 hours & ive gotten radio silence from u! ur presence is being requested in the munson household immediately!

P.S Bring food my dad is starving me over here”

“At your service m’lady, cheeseburgers good?” you respond quickly

“ur a life saver babe<3”

Your mind drifts away from your professor and the ticket that is burning a hole in your bookbag. This place already feels more like home than any time you’ve ever spent where you were born. You missed your best friend so much. Violet Munson has been your ride or die best friend for as long as you can remember. You two became friends when you were sitting alone in the lunch room one day and she came and sat right down next to you and you two have been inseparable ever since… that is until her dad decided to move her back to Hawkins to be closer to family after the divorce right before freshman year. You had been crushed getting your best friend ripped away from you like that, but then you guys made the pack to get out of dodge when you could, and now you’re here… in Hawkins,Indiana.

You change into comfy clothes and grab some cheeseburgers, fries, and onion rings from the only burger joint in town and headed over to the Munson residence. You’ve never actually been to her house before because your parents never allowed you to visit after she moved away, so you two mostly kept in contact over constant texts and lots of facetiming.

Pulling up to her house you were more nervous than you thought, you hadn’t seen her in so long and hoped things wouldn’t be awkward. You turned off the ignition, grabbed the food, and went to open your door when you heard a scream come from the front of the house. You lift your eyes to see your best friend jumping up and down on the front porch in her pajamas. Violet had long bright purple hair and thick black eyeliner, kind eyes, a wide smile, and an infectious laugh.

“YOU’RE HERE YOU’RE REALLY FUCKING HERE HOLY SHIT!”

You laughed and dropped all the food in the front seat of your car and ran to meet her in the middle of her lawn and tackled her to the ground. You hugged her tight, squeezing your eyes together wishing the tears at the corner of your eyes to go away.

“Vi I missed you so fucking much.” you whisper

“Awe babe I missed you too.” she shares

You both get up off the grass and you grab the food and head inside. You set the food down in front of the tv like you used to do when she lived closer to you. You sit down on the couch and while she grabs plates. You sigh deeper into the couch, everything was just picking up exactly where you two had left off, you were gonna be okay. You smile quietly to yourself and then head to the kitchen to help her bring everything into the living room. You decide to watch a new horror movie that just came out, the two of you always bonding over everything creepy and spooky. You let Violet tell you about her partner Quinn, who she met a few years ago and was head over heels in love with.

Then the front doorknob jingled, and you heard the familiar thud of heavy boots.

“Ho- holy shit is that Y/N?!”

You turn to face the familiar voice at the door. “Hey Mr. Munson, long time no see!” you breathe.

Fuckk… when did Vi’s dad get so... hot?... what the hell is wrong with you today? First your sociology professor and now your best friends DAD?!

He grins widely at you just like his daughter, he shrugs out of his boots and walks into the living room.

“I got you a cheeseburger on my way over, still like double meat and cheese on your burger?” you question.

Mr. Munson puts a hand over his heart and falls into the love seat next to the tv.

“You remembered, I’m touched sweetheart.” he beamed.

“oh yeah no problem at all!” you blush.

“Well I’ll let you guys catchup, don’t need me harshing the vibes, Vi’s been nonstop talking about you coming to Hawkins a month!” he chattered

Out of the corner of your eye you see Violet roll her eyes at her father.

“Dad no one fucking says “harshing the vibes” anymore or at all, you’re aging yourself old man,” she chortles

Mr. Munson chuckles and puts his hands up in the air in surrender “Alright alright I’m leaving, if you guys need anything I’ll be in the garage. Thanks again for the burger Y/N!” he says kindly holding up the burger in one of his large tattooed hands.

You beam up at him happy to help, and this time you get a good look at your best friends dad. He’s aged so much better than you could ever imagine a man with Mr. Munsons lifestyle to ever age, the expression aged like fine wine captures it perfectly.

His brown hair still wild and curly as its always been but tied up into a low bun at the base of his neck. Only difference is the now visible little grey streaks that run through random curls. He has more laugh lines at the side of his mouth and the corners of his eyes. Still wearing his normal garb, black jeans with loads of rips, a band tee with a leather jacket. His chocolate brown eyes still full of mischief and debauchery. His nose ring ever present but you spy a few more additions to his tattoo collection, specifically a new neck tattoo and a few more on his hands.

Fuck his hands… wait you have to answer him. Answer him before it’s weird that you’ve been staring at him so long.. you’re really on a fucking roll today.

“It was my pleasure Mr. Munson really,” you gush.

He gives you a wink that goes straight to your core and vibrates in your bones and heads to the garage.

Violet didn’t seem to notice how flushed you were, eyes still on the screen, interjecting at random times when a scene looks to fake or when the blood splattering doesn’t look real enough.

After the movie the two of you head upstairs to Vi’s room, she wanted to show you her new additions to her every growing crystal collection and a few polaroid pictures of her and her partner.

“They literally make me feel like a princess I feel so lucky, for our 3 year anniversary they gave me these black tourmaline pentagram earrings, aren’t they so cute?!”

Your heart fills with warmth, Violet has always been loud and unique, you are so happy for her that she found someone who accepts her for who she is and loves her for it.

“That’s really sweet Vi, i'm so happy you have them, and that they treat you so well,” you grin.

“Thanks… what about you though? You’ve always been very singular… looking to change that any time soon? You deserve to be happy babe, even if it just means getting laid you deserve to get some. You’re a fucking catch dude” ,she compliments

“I mean you know I had a thing with Dylan for awhile before he got back with his girlfriend...” you murmur

“Oh COME ON, you know that’s not what I mean, not some assholes rebound!” she insists

“Vi I don’t have a line down the block like you used to have, you’ve got that whole hot sexy goth girl shit going on, I’m just me.” you babble and point to your gorgeous best friend

“What about Tom? You were with Tom for a long time what happened with him?” she asks obliviously.

“Fuckin cheated on me,” you sigh. Re-living your lack of romantic endeavors to your very not single best friend being up there in the top 10 most pathetic things to date.

“Oh fuck that guy, how fucking dare he!” she sneers while she tries to light the perfectly wrapped blunt in her hand.

“Shit I think my lighters dead, can you go ask my dad if he has an extra?”

You nod and head downstairs and search for the door that leads to the garage, finally you find the door you’re looking for and the image in front of you almost makes you audibly gasp.

Mr. Munson has a cigarette between his lips hes strumming along to some metal song that he’s humming the tune to, occasionally sucking in smoke and blowing out the side of his mouth. His head bobbing to the tune of the song completely in his own world. He’s beautiful.

You look at the way his fingers move to the beat and strum the strings on his guitar, mesmerized by how pretty they are. You can see all the calloses on his hands from all of the years of playing.

Your hand moves without thinking and knocks on the side of the garage door, getting Mr. Munsons attention.

“Oh shit, hey honey, ya need something?" He questions

“oh yeah sorry, Vi’s lighter ran out, and we were trying to light a blunt, you got an extra?” You ask.

Growing up, Mr. Munson had always been the more laid back between Violets two parents, letting her test the waters herself allowing more than the normal parent would. But as long as she was being safe and not doing any hard drugs he was mostly lenient with her. Not that it mattered much now that she’s grown.

“Uh yeah I probably got one around here somewhere, come pop a squat while I look.” he gestures to the chair beside him.

Your legs wobble while you move into the garage, it smelled so uniquely of him. His leather jacket draped over the back of his chair, smoke in the air, and metal music playing lowly in the background.

His space made you feel at home, the garage door was open so you could see the sun setting in the sky, and the metal music is weirdly comforting. You find yourself tapping your feet to the beat.

Eddie went to his truck looking for an extra lighter and your eyes wander to his guitar. You can tell he really cares about it, its clean, the strings look freshly changed, and recently polished.

“Oh yeah she’s a beaut isn’t she?" He observes proudly, leaning against his car with a new found lighter in hand.

“Yeah really pretty Mr. Munson,” you remark.

He smiles at you, “Here ya go, I don’t know how much juice is left in it.” He hands you the lighter, for the few seconds your hands connect you see how much bigger his hands are than yours, it almost makes you topple over in your chair.

“Thanks,” you reply. You grab the lighter with your hand and put it in your pocket and push out of the chair headed back into the house.

“Were you always this shy?” he asks inquisitively.

You turn around to face him confused by his question, you never really considered yourself shy, it just takes some time for you to come out of your shell.

“Shy?” you reply. fidgeting with a loose string on your sweatpants, your lips in a fine line.

“Yeah..you just seem.. shy or sad maybe, you doin okay?” he presses

You sigh hard trying to find the right words to explain the last few years and what would be appropriate to share with your best friends dad. “I’m fine really, just a long few days.” you share and smile to try and make it convincing.

He clicks his tongue and you know that he doesn’t believe you, your heart sinks. You never want to put your sadness or hurt onto anyone else, you’re a big girl and you can handle it on your own. You change the subject to the empty beer glass on the table in front of him, “Need another beer?” you ask

“Read my mind darlin, thanks,” he replies.

You head to the kitchen to grab him his beer and head back to the garage to bring it to him. When you get back he’s back at it strumming on his guitar in his own world, you wish for a second maybe you could just sit in his little world with him, it’s quiet and peaceful, no thinking required. You set the beer on the table and turn to head back upstairs.

“Hey Y/N, if you need anything or even just to talk I’m around, I know I’m not Violet, but if you need another friendly face, I’m here.” he smiles warmly at you.

Your heart melts, of course he’s the sweetest man in the whole world. “Thank you Mr. Munson that really means a lot,” you blush. Thankful to have one more person in this town on your side.

You close the door behind you and rush back upstairs hoping Violet doesn’t notice how long you’ve been gone. You hear voices and giggling on the other side of the door,

She’s on the phone with Quinn.

“She’s returned! Come here I want you to meet Quinn!” she exclaims. You breathe out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, no excuse necessary. Your friendship with Violet has always easier than breathing. You spend the rest of the night smoking weed and talking on the phone with her partner, glad to have the distraction from your recent interaction with her dad.

Did he really mean what he said? Or was he also just being nice? I guess he kind of has to be nice to me, being his daughters best friend. Plus he’s so out of my league, a man like him would never go for a girl like me, right?

Only time will tell.

No Pressure Tags!: (Just tagging some mutuals I thought might enjoy!) ** If you wanna be tagged in the next fic lemme know**

@untitled74745 @eddiemunsons-missingnipple @munsonology @lesservillain @tlclick73 @dukesmebby @cozyquinn @rowanswriting @succubusmunson @teddyeyeseddie @lofaewrites @chaoticmunsons @ryan-waddell11

#Stranger Things #Eddie Munson #Steve Harrington #Older! Eddie Munson #Older! Steve Harrington #older eddie munson #older steve harrington #Eddie Munson smut #Steve harrington smut #Eddie Munson x reader #Eddie munson x reader x Steve Harrington #Eddie Munson fic #Steve Harrington fic #Steve Harrington x reader #Steddie x Reader #Steddie #chaoticharrington fics

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jolalibrary · 1 year ago

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v. you make me feel wild

javier peña x f!reader | chapter five of late night texts

summary: It's the year 2000. Javi is minding his own business on the porch of his pop's ranch when a text from an unknown number vibrates his phone. The only problem is, no one knows he has a phone and no one has his number.

chapter warnings: fluff. flirting. continuous romcom vibes. an: it's happening. everyone stay calm. also, we have a new header ;) wordcount: 2.2k.

text key: bold is you/reader | italics is javi

Woke up this morning and remembered that we’re going to meet

I may have also woke up smiling

On a scale of Javi smiles was it bigger than the one when we destressed one another?

bigger you flirt

I’ve learnt from you. Never used to be like this. I was innocent before talking to you.

somehow baby I doubt that

We can argue about it later if you want? When I kick your ass at the crossword.

cant wait. try not to let those assholes get you down

I’m on my best behaviour this week. Need them to not revoke going to Houston.

oh any special reason

Not really.

ouch baby

Ask silly questions, win silly prizes.

im going to houston too

Oh are you? Any special reason?

gonna meet this beautiful woman who is an outrageous flirt

Great now I'm blushing.

you make it so easy

I have to go, the meeting is beginning, I'm sorry. Speak later, baby xx

Pop doesn’t bring it up, even if he knows. He waits—like dads do.

Forcing Javi to bring it up, all awkward—sweat pebbling around his neck, lower spine and brow. Not helped by the sun beating down on them, having to shout parts over the occasional animal grunt heard over their discussion as they repair the barn door.

Lately, his Pop leaves him to do bits like this alone. But he’s been hovering. More since the phone calls began and a level above that since he walked in on him the other night.

He stews in it. Allows it to thicken before he really brings it up—unsure whether to come out with it or skate around it. The two of them have gotten out of practice when it comes to sharing.

Javi is more used to lying to save face than being honest.

A hazard of his old job, he supposed. A mask he applied so his old man didn’t worry. Now, with those same occupational worries gone, Javi still finds it hard to let people in. Truly in. Not wanting to discuss Colombia, discuss Cali or Escobar.

It all adds to a pile of things the two Peñas don't talk about.

This wasn’t even bad news. It was good. Precisely what everyone wanted—including him—yet the words still seem to ball up in his throat. Rounding off, becoming a lump that sits.

Making it hard to breathe as he lifts a piece of wood; making it hard to twist when he moves to grab the hammer.

So much so, the words eventually just burst out of him. More like a confession than anything else.

“—that must have been real embarrassing for you.”

He can hear you stifling a laugh. His verbal reenactment of the conversation in the field with his Pop having tickled you.

“You’re an awful person,” he says, twisting the cord around his finger, smirking.

“If you feel that way, baby. We can always not meet.”

“Don’t you fucking dare. We’re meeting,” he says, coating his words in playfulness, even if there's a serious undertone remaining.

Turning on the spot, he leans against the wall. Finger looping more of the cord—hearing you lightly laugh.

“What... what is the plan, anyway?”

You hum, and he hears you shifting. Likely getting comfortable or reaching for something.

He’s learnt that often when he calls, you’re on your sofa—a blanket, sometimes over your lap. You like to be cosy, even if it's a warm day.

Other times you’re in your room, sitting on the bed—or under the sheets. It depends entirely on how warm you are, and how you’re feeling.

“Well, work will pay for my hotel for my two-night stay, and then if we, y'know, wanted to stay, I’ll just need to sort a room out for after.”

“How long have you managed to book off?”

It comes out shaky, more than he means it to.

Some of the finer details of your two’s meet left simmering in the centre of your usual conversations.

Both of you are evidently too afraid to ask.

“I’ll have managed to book off the week. Two days, including the day I land, for work and then the rest—if you're not a weirdo—can be with you.”

Grinning, he leans his head back, resting it against the wall. “Bit late now for you to be worrying about me being a weirdo, baby. I know the sounds you make when I make you—“

“Javi!”

Smirking, he bites the inside of his cheek. “It sounds good. Tell me the hotel, and I can book a room there.”

He hears it, the relief. The way you let out a breath, it blowing down the phone—making him smile.

“Y-you don’t mind?”��

“You expected me to?”

Pausing, he hears you shuffle again. Sounding more like you’re on your bed than your sofa. “I mean, no. I guess I wasn’t sure what you’d assume. Cause, while there’s a good chance when I see you, I’ll want to spend every waking moment with you, there’s, y’know…”

Grinning, he curls the phone line around his palm, fingers sliding between parts. “The chance it could be a lot?”

“I just don’t want to fuck this up.”

He doubts you could.

From what he knows of you, he’s sure of it.

But, he also isn’t quite ready to confess he’s already pretty head over heels for you. That he is without seeing your face, knowing how tall you are—whether you have dimples or not, whether you smile with your lips or your entire face.

“How’re you gonna fuck this up, baby?”

You go silent, wondering if that’s the point you’ve shrugged to no one but your apartment.

“I’ve heard I’m a lot,” you say quietly.

Something snaps in him, a fracture running through him. “That’s alright. Steve told me I’m an asshole.”

“You’re not an asshole—“

“And I promise you’re not a lot. If anything, you could actually talk more to me.”

“Shut up, I talk loads.”

He smiles, biting the inside of his cheek as he sighs. “I'm excited to see you.”

“Me too.”

Moving closer to the wall, he swallows, looking at the chipped tile in his kitchen. “You’re not gonna fuck this up, baby.”

“Yeah?”

“Promise. Let me book the room for the same amount of days as you, and then we can take it from there,” he says.

Struggling to hide his smile as you excitedly tell him you'll go grab your hotel details. More so when he's sure he heard you trip over something.

Are we going to do this when we meet?

you want to still do the crossword together

Yeah! We can find a place to pick up the paper if you want?

id like that

Good! Now, hit me with the next one so I can get some sleep so I can see you quicker.

got me blushing baby

7th word is d from ciders and clue is replacing, nine

Insteadof. This one is easy.

yeah im beginning to see that

Maybe we’re getting good at it?

let’s put it to the test, self-confidence six

Okay that one did take me a second but it’s aplomb.

you amaze me

Thank you. I think I should try and get some sleep, don’t want to look half-dead when I see you.

I doubt you ever could

I can’t believe I’m going to see the face that matches that suave voice.

suave ay. cant wait to see how pretty your smile is

You’re making me blush again.

tomorrow ill get to see it in person

You will. Goodnight, baby.

If I wasn’t meeting you it would be criminal being up this early.

Actually, it isn't even early. It is still night.

morning to you to baby I’m about to get on the road

Ok, I'm going to make myself the largest coffee.

Also if you’re not there after half an hour I’ll just head to the hotel.

hermosa I’m picking you up

I know but just in case, least you know I won’t be standing around.

you won’t be because I’ll be there

Javi, this way you have options to take one look at me and drive the other way.

I won’t do that

I’m just giving options and in case there is traffic

hermosa, im not going to stand you up

Okay, can’t blame a girl for wanting to help.

you can help me by getting your ass to the airport

Getting bossy, are we? I like it.

fuck baby you cant say things like that to me when i need to leave

Just something to think about on your long drive. Please drive safe, baby. See you soon.

see you in several hours

Javi is surprised at how smooth the drive is.

He watches the sun rise up as the miles tick on, sliding his aviators from his shirt to up on his nose. He finds a surprising road stop that serves not-bad coffee.

The kind that doesn’t leave that cheap tinge on his tongue or bitterly sitting in the back of his throat.

He doesn’t feel nervous, either.

And on top of that, he finds a parking spot at the airport with ease.

In a way, he worries it’s too good to be true. That such smoothness now means a rocky hill later.

That’s when the nerves kick in. It sitting, fluttering in his stomach—at first, all little wings and then all of a sudden something larger.

Shifting the parking brake into place, he turns the key to silence the car. His pulse creates a beat—steady, almost orchestral—as he glances up at the sea of people stepping out of the airport.

This is it.

He’s been trying not to picture you—attempting not to turn shapes into something solid. Javi wants the experience when his eyes land on you, as though his world is in black and white, and then he’ll see colour.

It’s what he hopes.

A part, small but insistent, keeps chipping away at him, reminding him to plan for the worst. To have a backup plan—a way out.

Picking up his phone, he stares at the blank screen. Somewhat reassured that you hadn’t either texted that you’d arrived earlier—or worse, you’d changed your mind.

Lifting his chin, sliding his palm over his jeans, he takes a breath—deep, heavy, the kind that expands his chest until it can’t anymore.

You should have landed by now.

His eyes glance at the time on his watch as he takes another breath. Checking down at his shirt, making sure for the hundredth time he hadn’t spilt coffee—ensuring dark brown hadn’t stained pink.

It’s what you had asked for.

How will I know it’s you? youll know Because you’re oh so handsome? yes that and ill wear bright pink For me? You spoil me.

Running his tongue over the front of his teeth, he brushes his palm over his face.

It’s only then that he allows his eyes to flick from face to face, worry creeping in. It trying to merge with the happiness he’s been stifling on the drive. Scanning and scanning, glancing and glancing—

Then, in a worn denim jacket, legs out, dragging a battered suitcase behind, he sees you.

Or who he hopes is you.

If it is, you look nervous. It makes you stand out from the crowd of bustling people around you, as they struggle to get past you, and you struggle to force it behind a smile or banish it from your cheeks.

Even from here, it pulsates. You finding it more difficult as shaky hands pull out something from your pocket, unfolding it, before he sees the most ridiculous hand-drawn sign in between your fingers.

It’s definitely you.

You who has scratched Javi P onto a piece of paper, all accompanied by a worried expression on your face as you shift from leg to leg.

Javi isn’t sure why you made the sign. You didn’t need it.

Somehow, against all logic and odds, he knew it was you. His arm shoving the car door wide as he exits, not looking back to check it slams into place as he crosses to you, watching, waiting with his heart in his throat for your eyes to land on him.

And when they do.

It’s an eclipse.

It hits your eyes first, making them gleam like a beacon guiding him home. Then it reaches your cheeks, lips sliding up, teeth showing as you lower the sign, staring at him as he moves closer, forgetting all the others around the two of you.

As though a single soul has never even existed outside the two of you.

It’s just him and you.

Coming to a stop in front of you, he lets himself stare you up and down—voice and texts stitching themselves to the face he now sees.

Flexing his fingers at his side, Javi watches you slowly lick your lips as his heart slides back into its rightful place. The nerves slowly stop fluttering, and his mind begins to catch back up with him.

And the only thought that remains is: You're beautiful.

More than his mind could ever conjure or create.

“Hi,” you say.

And it falls like glitter from your lips to his ears.

His lips are unable to relax from their grin, spreading wider, cheeks aching as he fights running his knuckles against your cheek. “Hi.”

an: if this was a sitcom, this would be my season finale... but alas it isn’t, so you only have to wait a week for them to be hanging out *wink, wink*

✨ also, check out this really cool moodboard a beautiful soul made for LNT for the birthday bash

next chapter ->

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piratefalls · 1 year ago

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“You are", he says, "the absolute worst idea I've ever had.” - me @ ao3 after watching the movie and thinking "there's probably fic for this."

i like lists. i've lost sleep reading fic like it's gonna disappear the second i look away. i'm making my problem yours. i'm sure a lot of these won't be new to people since they pre-date the movie and it's far from comprehensive but. i'm late to this party. i also can't make gifs, so enjoy the basic canva header.

(baby) don't make me spell it out by extasiswings

One night near the end of first semester 1L finals, just a few weeks before the two-year anniversary of their first kiss, Alex finds himself looking up from his desk with its messy piles of color-coded notes and tabbed textbooks to see Henry asleep on the couch, clearly having dozed off waiting for him to come to bed, and unbidden he thinks, God, I’m going to marry this man. It startles him, the spike of adrenaline that floods through him waking him up and bringing the parts of his brain turning over concepts like proximate cause and strict liability to a standstill as he stares at Henry. I want to marry this man.

God Save the Blessed American President Mom by zipadeea

["June stopped by at lunch; she showed me a delightful channel called Hallmark, which repeats the same story every hour after they swap one round of white, straight, small-town conventionally beautiful actors for another. It was entertaining.” “June and I used to play a drinking game with those. Take a shot every time someone goes ice skating, sledding, or leaves the big city for their tiny hometown.” “Good lord, you must’ve been sloshed in the first ten minutes.”] -- On December 4, 2021, an attempt is made on President Ellen Claremont's life. Alex gets shot instead.

Familiar Gravity by cmere

“Yeah,” Alex breathes, and he pulls back to look Henry in the eyes. “I’ve been fantasizing about you fucking me in this chair for, like, weeks. Every time you sit down here with your stupid book.” Henry likes it when Alex speaks Spanish and Alex has a request.

Am I the Asshole? by everwitch

AITA for spending Valentine’s Day with my roommate instead of my boyfriend? It’s well past midnight on a Saturday and hardly the first time Alex has scrolled aimlessly on his phone instead of trying to sleep, but it’s definitely the first goddamn time Alex has discovered his roommate has made a lengthy post about last night’s curry debacle to r/AmItheAsshole — a post that’s apparently gone fucking viral. -- In which Alex and Henry are college roommates, and a few thousand strangers think they should fuck.

Everybody needs good neighbours by railmedaddy

To nora(9.37pm): So a funny thing happened My hot neighbour brought me the mcflurry i ordered and we fucked From nora (9.38pm): WHAT DETAILS NOW Which neighbour? Wait, you only have one hot neighbour. Alex, did you fuck a guy?!?!?! ALEX Or Alex meets a hot new neighbour. Shenanigans ensue.

A Picture on Your Corkboard by bleedingballroomfloor

It happens on a random morning in May when Alex, age fourteen, pads into the kitchen to greet his mother and steal a waffle from June's plate and sees a man sitting at their breakfast counter, reading a newspaper, a cup of coffee raised to his lips. Like he belongs. Like it's the most natural thing in the world. June doesn't seem to give the man a second thought. She merely flicks Alex on the forehead and takes back the waffle. Ellen isn't worrying, either. In fact, she's talking to him. Asking what his schedule is like. Making plans for dinner. Alex has never seen this man before in his life.

this is the worthwhile fight by dearhappy

It's not that Henry's scared of their future, he's never been more sure of anything in his life. The thing is they're still trying to figure out how that future is going to look. And he worries about how it'll affect Alex's career in politics.

Déjame Ver Cómo Es Que Floreces by 14carrotgold

Oscar gets in close and bluntly asks, “Earlier. In the bathroom. Did you do it?” Alex scoffs, “No. Don't be a perv. Why would you wanna know that anyway?” Oscar rolls his eyes. “Mind out of the gutter, chamaco. Did you propose?” Ah. - Henry is introduced to the extended Diaz side of the family at their matriarch's birthday. Shenanigans (and romance and feelings) ensue.

Please Don't Let Me Be So Understood by chamel

“I’m glad you both see it that way,” Dr. Chen says. Then she closes her notebook and folds her hands on top of it. “I think I’m starting to get a sense of where the issues lie. The good news is that you’re both here, and you’re both willing to work on this relationship. That’s promising. Not all of the couples I see are even at that point.” “Sorry, what?” Henry says, voicing Alex’s stuttering thoughts as well. (After one too many fights at work, Henry and Alex are assigned mandatory reconciliation therapy by their boss. Except the therapist thinks they're there for couples therapy... and surely, a bet on who will break first makes more sense than actually correcting her, right?)

Such a Burden, This Flame on My Chest by allmylovesatonce

Alex Claremont-Diaz is relocating back to Austin to join his dad's firehouse. His days as a firefighter in Washington D.C. ended badly, but no one knows that, or knows why. And he plans to keep that close to his chest. He has to shove it back down if he wants to seem like a normal person, if he wants to do the job, if he wants to get along with his new crew, and most of all, if he wants to get to know the hot British firefighter on the squad. No one can know what really happened.

thinking (about last night) by rhosyn_du

“I hope you know that I am literally never going to stop reminding you that you said that. I’m going to, like, take out an ad in the student paper. Maybe hire a skywriter or something. I am definitely telling Pez." "I hate you," Henry tells him. "Lies," Alex says, still laughing. "You know you love me." Henry lets out a heavy sigh. "Well," he says softly, "that's rather the problem, isn't it?" “What, you think we’d be better off if we still hated each other?” “I think," Henry says slowly, "I’d be better off if I could figure out how to stop being so stupidly in love with you.” It takes a few seconds for the words to really register, as distracted as Alex is by the heat of Henry’s breath and wondering how much it would cost to actually hire a skywriter. Once they do, it takes a full minute before Alex can move. Can breathe. Can think. Finally, he forces out a whispered, “What?” When that gets no response, he tries again. This time, his voice actually cooperates. “Wait, what?” The only response he gets is a soft snore and Alex realizes that Henry, the utter fucking asshole, has passed out on his shoulder.

you're the reason i let myself fall by perfect-porcelain (tedddylupin)

Alex doesn't quite know what to expect when he walks into a room with a glowing screen separating him from the person in the other pod. The entire experience makes him skeptical. How can you fall in love with someone you've never met? Or: Love is Blind AU

Sharper Head, Wilder Heart by Dawg1515

"This could work out,” Henry offers. “It could,” Alex replies. “That’s good, then. Someone’s going to have to walk me through the brilliance of Empire Strikes Back, after all.” “Sweetheart, if we’re legitimately dating now, I’m forcing you to watch every movie that has Harrison Ford in it.” “Duly noted.” Or: When the Queen decides it’s time for Henry to settle down with a woman, she arranges a courtship between him and Alex Claremont-Diaz, closeted political powerhouse. Alex secretly tells Henry he’s trans, and Henry tells Alex that he’s gay. To say they become an amazing couple would be an understatement—but nothing is ever that easy for a prince and a president’s son.

every version of you (i love) by coffeecatsme

“So,” the voice narrates as the man squishes the dog’s cheeks and laughs at himself. “There’s this guy that lives next to me with the cutest beagle in the world and this little guy climbs to the fence every day to drop his toys off at, like, 5:30 on the dot, I’m not kidding.” The camera shows the man boop the dog’s nose and press a little kiss to his forehead. There’s a ball in his hands that he hands to the dog, but it slips from his mouth all over again, making the man reach down to grab it. He glares at the dog, but even then he’s still smiling. “And this guy always walks by and picks up the stuff and it’s the cutest fucking thing ever you have no idea.” The camera zooms in farther into the man’s smile, genuine and wild, as he pushes his wild curls away from his face. His eyes flicker up when another figure walks into the frame, his blonde hair falling over his forehead in waves. The man’s smile, impossibly, widens. “Oh. I’m also pretty sure he has a crush on my neighbor.” Or, 5 times David greets Alex with something that belongs to Henry, and 1 time he greets Alex with something that belongs to both of them.

The Duke Who Loved Me by annesbonny, Inareskai, schmulte

This Author knows as well as anyone how much you, gentle readers, enjoy a scandal and a love story. And what could bring more delight that two young gentlemen who bring both of those wherever they go? Join the Duke of Mountchristen and the, untitled, Mr Claremont-Diaz as they attempt to find a Love Match amongst the gossip of the ton.

The Edge of Glory by politics_and_prose

Subject: CD-10 To: Alex Claremont-Diaz ([email protected]) From: Natasha Wallace ([email protected]) Alex - You know how you jokingly told me to let you know when Mayfield was vulnerable and/or not seeking re-election? Tash

lying in the low light by smc_27

The thing about having a one night stand with the guy your sister is close friends with and gatekept from you is that it becomes really fucking important that she never knows. Or, Alex and Henry have a one year stand. Or, Alex and Henry are in a relationship, only they’re the only ones who don’t know it.

what we might do (if we stop keeping a secret) by indomitablelove

'This isn't how I wanted to tell people. I thought we'd get the chance to do it right.' - Red, White and Royal Blue, Casey McQuiston, p.327 --- or, in another world, Alex and Henry get to do it right.

Who Could Love You The Same as I by MariaDmitrievnaLikesSundays

Inside was exactly what Alex had found himself dreaming about ever since that night at Kensington. The kind of dreams that he forced himself to forget once he woke up, but dreams all the same. A gold band, simple and smooth, with a single square diamond embedded on top. It was small, modest, exactly to Alex’s taste. ”Holy shit,” he said again. “Holy shit.” That was a ring. That was, unmistakably, an engagement ring. Hidden in his boyfriend’s coat. And he had just found it.

—— Or, Alex finds the engagement ring that Henry had hidden, and does exactly what you’d expect him to.

As the World Falls Down by 3bowtruckles

So while we all knew that the 2020 written in the book would be glorious fiction, we didn’t realize that reality would throw us something to take 2020 even further away from the book’s events. This story is where I attempt to merge our 2020 reality and the fiction of RWRB, using research (a LOT of research) to try to figure out what the trajectory of reality might have been. The story starts picking up the timeline after their late-February trip to Paris. After that, it's strictly AU, but I try to keep a lot of the intents of the events in the book (for instance, Alex's trip to confront Henry in Britain after the lake) while still making them fit the narrative I've created.

We'll Change the World Yet to our Dessire [sic] by cresswells

Alex and Henry are engaged and ready to share their announcement with the world, but after the media circus surrounding their forced outing Queen Mary wants them to do things properly this time. To Alex’s surprise, ‘properly’ apparently means taking a Royal Tour around Europe as an official couple. Ten days, five countries and lots of unnecessary wardrobe changes. What could possibly go wrong?

where clouds look like mountains by weather_stained

Four months after the election, while still learning to navigate the complexities of being in a public relationship, Alex finally has the chance to show Henry around Austin.

We'll Invite Something In by smc_27

Alex is grinning a little too hard. This is absolutely idiotic and pointless and fun. The cover of Hello UK with a photo of him pulled out and a photo of His Royal Highness Prince Henry Fox-Mountchristen whatever the hell the rest of his names are (Alex knows; he being a dick) with the admittedly stupid but flattering headline which reads: His Royal Highness: He’s just like us and crushes on Pres ACD.

Henry's Cold, Empty Tower by DracoWillHearAboutThis

“I want you,” Henry said, slowly but clearly, “to leave.” When Alex storms Kensington Palace, Henry sends him away. Then, their relationship gets leaked, and it's Henry's turn to fight for Alex.

behind the diamond-shaped glass by Celaestis

Five times Alex and Henry used tea and biscuits to communicate, and one time they don't need to.

The Byline by rosetintednerdglasses

Press Secretary Alex Claremont-Diaz serves at the pleasure of the President, and he does it excellently until a new White House correspondent darkens his press room: Henry Fox, The Guardian.

we've been here forever (here's the frozen proof) by r_holland

Objectively, I am aware that you – a stranger – cannot tell me my own sexuality any better than I can, however... Can you, please? Tell me? It’s 4am and I have been thinking about this for hours, and I can’t sleep. Warmest regards, ACD *** It’s four in the morning, and Alex Claremont-Diaz has managed to follow a research spiral straight down into a personal crisis. It isn’t the first time.

words on the tip of your tongue (but please don't say them) by viciouslyqueer

So close. He was so close to saying those words that have lived inside him for so long, and now it's gone, a moment that slipped right between his fingertips before he could grasp it. Now he’s floating in the middle of the lake alone, the ghost of Henry’s touch still lingering on his skin and an unknown, heartbreaking feeling in his chest. — Or: canon-divergence where Henry doesn't leave the lake house.

The Grand Tour by lucky (revolutionbarbie)

When Henry returned from an audience with Queen Mary looking stony faced and grim, Alex had immediately feared the worst. She had requested to see Henry – and Henry alone – the moment their plane had landed at Heathrow on a visit to Pez’s new shelter in London. Alex had suggested that they go to see her together just to spite the old hag, but Henry wanted to keep the peace. Since moving to Brooklyn, they had entered into an uncomfortable détente with Queen Mary and Henry was loathe to be the one to break it. “She wants us to go to Australia. It would be an unofficial Royal Tour, of sorts, with stops in several cities and a short visit to New Zealand. Three and a half weeks in total.” “She wants to send us on an all-expenses paid Australian getaway? Count me in.”

come and get me by rizcriz

The email arrives 8 days after Henry left the lake house. He contemplates deleting it without reading, but it sits in his Alex inbox, where there are over seventy emails favourited, and somehow it feels wrong and weirdly impersonal. As if leaving without a note were any different. He stares at the from line with an aching longing that seeps into his veins. It settles on his heart like a tangible thing; something warranted and cruel that casts shackles around the aorta and locks them tight so that he might never love again. -- or, alex sends an email instead of flying to KP.

Never Did Run Smooth by clottedcreamfudge

"You and me? Best friends. Stellar. Love that for us. But we could absolutely fake being in love. Dating. Whatever. I know literally everything about you—" (No you don't, Henry thinks firmly) "—and you know everything about me. We would absolutely fucking annihilate the other contestants.” "You're too drunk to apply," Henry points out, like he himself isn't about as wasted as it's possible for him to be without curling up and going immediately to sleep. "I doubt you could spell your own name right on the application. Or mine." Alex grins and pulls something up on his phone; it looks like it takes him a few tries. "Wanna fucking bet?" *** Or: Henry's life is a comedy of errors; a patchwork of oopsie-daisies; a quilt stitched together with hauntingly terrible mistakes. And at the centre of it all is his best friend, Alex Claremont-Diaz; director of said comedy, threading together his oopsie-daisies into a flower crown, rolling around in the quilt of his own making, and this analogy is going to shit because Henry's so in love with him he wants to die.

idk I'll do a part two if anyone wants.

#rwrb #firstprince #red white and royal blue #fic rec #fic rec list #i try not to do multiple authors on the same list so #just assume if they're here i read all their stuff plus their bookmarks lmao #for the record I have 100% read the book I just didn't think there'd be fic for it lmao #rwrb rec list

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alieinthemorning · 1 year ago

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An Addition to Change [Gojo Satoru]

Content: Major Character Death, Angst, AU: No Curses, Blood and Injury, JJK 237 Spoilers

Pronouns: None

Previous: Tears of The Strongest | Next: Fleeting Adolescence

Header: @/nikki101pistar on Twitter

Reblogs: Let me know that you enjoy my work and want to see more, so don't forget to like and reblog (and comment in the tags. I love seeing people’s rambles in the tags)!

This work's concepts, plot and original characters are my own which means I do not allow any sort of creative theft nor do I allow my work to be entered into any sort of A.I. bots. Thank you for respecting my space and boundaries.

Change is something that Satoru did a lot. He changed his clothes, furniture, cars and even house at a whim. Often times, he'd have at least five outfit changes in a day, there would be movers in and out of the house replacing furniture, he'd come home with a new car and about every one-two years you'd be moving to a new place.

And you'd just gone along with it all.

But this?

This was a bit much.

You eyed the child sitting across from you on the large gray couch, brand new, not even a dent in the cushions yet. He had black hair that was sticking up in every direction, violet eyes that bore into your own, unimpressed with...everything it seemed, and a frown that was too old and tired for a child his age.

Your gaze turned to Satoru, who was sitting beside you. He was pointedly looking at his phone, scrolling through social media to avoid both you and the child's stare.

"We can't avoid this, Satoru." You began, "Can you please tell me what happened? But be for real this time."

Because "I just found him, and it seemed like he needed a home!" is not an explanation at all. Sounds like he kidnapped a child off the streets, and you really didn't want to get tied up into something like that.

Satoru sighed in that dramatic way that he does, lolling his head away from you. "I told you—"

The child cut him off. "I've been living alone for a while now. He's been bothering me ever since he found out, and now I'm here, I guess." Satoru glared at him, but nodded along.

"Okay...and what about your guardians?"

"Dead." He replied flatly.

Your heart tightened. That poor baby, to have to navigate the world all by himself and for only he knows how long.

"What's your name?" You asked softly.

"...Megumi."

"Okay, Megumi, what would you like to do? Would you like to go back to where you were, or would you rather stay here with us?"

He was quiet for a moment, playing with the sleeves of his jacket before finally answering you. "...I wanna stay here."

You smiled, "Okay, then." then it dropped, "We literally don't have anything for you."

Satoru laughed loudly, snorting while your head swiveled toward him. "What are we gonna do?"

He stood, wiping a tear from his eye. "We're gonna go shopping, of course."

And after that shopping trip, you and Megumi vowed to never go shopping with Satoru again.

Mornings were always hard for you. It would either be a rough sleep of tossing and turning or a nightmare that disturbed your sleep to the point of waking up just as tired, if not more, than when you went to sleep. So often times you'd lay in bed, fighting between succumbing to sleep or proceeding with living.

But then a small, warm hand landed on your cheek.

"I'm hungry. I would have fed myself, but I don't know where anything is..."

You blinked.

Oh right, Megumi.

You were not ready for a change as massive as this one, but you had to get up regardless because now there was a child in your care. So you pulled yourself up and smiled.

"Good morning, Megumi."

Change was something Megumi also did a lot. However, it made sense with him because he was a child and children were always changing.

His favorite food changed weekly, which kept you on your toes and kept you from fretting on what to make anymore.

He was a growing, which meant new clothes needed to be bought ever few months (which prompted you to convince Satoru to stop buying him such expensive clothing).

His favorite shows and interests were also ever-changing. New toys were bought every week, and it was beginning to get harder to hold a conversation with Megumi since he would always be talking about something new (it was worth it though to see that sparkle in his eye when he talked about the things that he enjoyed).

There were a few things that didn't change, though.

He still loved frogs. He loved going out in the rain to hunt for them, despite usually coming back in empty-handed (you had to stop Satoru from having frogs on standby for rainy days).

He also loved dogs, which prompted Satoru into getting him two dire wolf dogs (how the hell he got them is beyond you).

He still only tolerated Satoru (that's what he said, but he really was opening up to him).

And he still favored you (you don't think that that will ever change, though).

"Thanks for not turning me away..." Megumi told you, as his face was just about buried in Shiro's white fur.

Satoru was still changing, but not as materialistically.

Now he was making more of an effort to be home with you and Megumi (his days were now nine-five, no exceptions and no more bring work home).

More of an effort to bond with Megumi, who was thankfully warming up to him (he was even able to take him out on their own outings without the day going horribly wrong).

More of an effort to understand your words from before.

He is not the strongest, and that's okay (he did cry a bit when Megumi got sick, however. It was something new and scary for him, so you wouldn't tease him about it...much).

"Thank you for taking such good care of Megumi." His arms wrapped around your waist as his lips brushed against your neck, leaving a trail of kisses. "And thank you for staying by my side all this time."

You also were changing.

You think it's a good thing.

"I love you two so much." Your smile was shy, but your words were genuine. "Thank you so much for being a part of my life and turning this house into a home."

You'll never forget the smiles they gave you. Bright, wide, full of teeth and as warm as a sun beam.

Hopefully, you'll continue to change alongside your boys.

There was a lot of present/past tense errors in here lol. A small bit of grammatical errors. And I changed a few things.

Reminder that this was a response to JJK236 lmao

Ko-Fi | Commission | Masterlist

#alie ficlets #alie ficlets: version 2 #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #gojo satoru x reader #fushiguro megumi & reader

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latenightsimping · 2 years ago

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THE EDGE

“...There is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who’ve gone over.” - Hunter S. Thompson, Hell’s Angels

Summary: A part of the deal to freedom included a stay at Pennhurst. It’ll take everything to keep the hope that one day the locked doors will open, the windows will no longer have bars that block the view, and that one day, the name Eddie Munson will be synonymous with the word ‘innocent’. The hope, he never realised, would also come to be synonymous with your name.

Chapter: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4

Pairing: Eddie Munson x reader

Word count: 3.9k

Warnings: angst, heavy themes of inpatient treatment/hospitalisation, heavy themes of mental health, institutional deprivation of liberties, body injuries, mentions of suicidal ideation, themes of institutional abuse, can be a dark read (continue with that in mind, look after yourselves), canon divergence, Eddie survives the demobat attack, post-S4 timeline, slow burn romance, eventual smut, 18+, eventual fluff, there will be a happy ending

AN: Chapter three is finally here! Many thanks to my lovely boyfriend @mantorokk-writes for test reading and making the header, I'm forever in love with you <3 This series is gonna be a slow work in progress, but thank you for reading so far! Really excited to see where it's gonna go, and how we're gonna get these two out of this pickle. Enjoy!

Taglist: @edsforehead, @idkidknemore, @harrys-tittie, @gaysludge, @smileygoth

A congealed lump of what was apparently mac and cheese, boiled to death vegetables and bitter orange juice. Eddie had become used to shit food long ago, thanks to a lifetime of only buying the cheapest non-brand groceries to try and save costs. But this… This was something else. Fuck, he was surprised it even passed the mark for being fit for human consumption. It reminded him of the stories his old man used to tell about prison food, about how the trick was to eat it without thinking too much, barely savouring the taste before you swallowed. The similarity getting stuck in his throat.

But at least he wasn’t eating his meals in silence anymore. With you sitting opposite him, filling any dead air with talking about the hospital gossip, though he’d given up on trying to follow along after the first apparent affair taking place. But the content didn’t matter. For the first time in so long, maybe even longer than he realised, you had offered him a seat to get out of trouble with no motive behind the action. Had given him his own pack of cigarettes after swindling one from an orderly just before lunch started, the one that seemed to stare at your chest more than your eyes, putting yourself at risk for no gain of your own. It was exceedingly rare to find people that would do something out of the goodness of their hearts, and the question was rattling around his head with such a velocity that it tumbled from his lips before he even realised.

“Why are you doing this?”

Even he internally winced at the lack of warmth in his tone, making it sound more like an accusation than a question. But if it offended you, you didn’t act as if it bothered you. Instead, the corners of your lips twitched upwards, eyes drifting from your tray to his own as you tilted your head.

“What’dya mean?”

Giving himself a few needed seconds to reframe the words in his head with taking a sip of his drink, he swirled the contents of the paper cup, deciding to stare down into it rather than look up. “I mean, why are you helping me? You don’t know me.”

From the very quick glance upwards he chanced, there seemed to be something there that was bittersweet. Eyes slightly widened, mouth downturned, yet an ever so slight huff of a laugh as you balled up a serviette in your hands. “Trust me, I know how it feels to be the new guy on the wing. The way the others look at you like you’re a fuckin’ chew toy?”

He’d noticed the way the other patients stared, when the steel door behind him slammed shut. Some didn’t even look over, too caught up in their own internal world. But there’s a certain feeling that can overcome a person when they’re accustomed to having to be on high alert at all times. A certain flash of the eyes that makes your stomach churn, blood pooling to your feet and your mind telling you to run. You studied his face for a moment, a sympathetic smile briefly twitching at your lips.

“I had someone look out for me too, when I first got here,” you explained, the paper in your hand now being twisted and toyed with as you spoke. “She uh… Her name was Patty. She was this take no shit kinda woman. Taught me the best way to curb the hunger was smoking cigarettes, which orderlies would give pretty girls special treatment, which patients to never go near. That sorta useful shit.”

Though you smiled, it didn’t reach your downcast eyes. “She got sick last year. Didn’t say much about it, but it took a toll on her. It finally got her a couple of months back. And you know what the worst thing was about it?”

Plenty of what you were saying was ‘the worst thing’. Being caught on the wrong side of a power dynamic, having to go hungry because nobody cared, patients having to be caregivers because God forbid those that actually got paid to do it actually did their fucking jobs for once. All of those answers dying on his tongue, replaced with a slow shake of his head.

“Nobody came to see her in the end,” you muttered, brows furrowing as your voice cracked. “She told me she had a son, told me the doctors called him and told him, but he never came. I get it, I mean, not many of us have the luxury of seeing people from the outside… But she was on her fucking deathbed, y’know?”

When your eyes finally met his, glossy with unshed tears that you seemed so determined to never let overspill, there was a look to you that made all the pieces click together. Made the parts of him that he’d kept buried away for self preservation start to rise back to the surface. Taking a firm grasp of his heart and squeezing for good measure.

The look of pure fear.

The fear that one day, both of you would end up like Patty. Untethered to the world outside, cast adrift with the other lost souls. Taking the last few rattled breaths with nobody around to hear them, looking up to the sky and the view still blocked with bars. Nobody with spare change for the ferryman, forever stuck.

“I’m sorry.” It was all he could think to say, no other words seeming quite right. The tone as hollow as he felt, as shaky as the tremors in his hands that never quite seemed to go away. All he could think to say, but the truth. He was sorry you were here, if your proclaimed innocence was to be believed. He was sorry for himself too, deep down.

“It’s whatever,” you replied, clearing your throat as you tried and failed to staple the look of nonchalance back on your face with a half decent result. “Anyway, don’t worry about your first therapy session, alright? I got it covered.”

He shot you a small look of incredulity, head tilted to the side as he followed your lead in piling used napkins and cutlery onto his meal tray. “What’dya mean?”

The smile you gave him next was finally a genuine one, a glimmer in your eye that could only mean mischief.

“You’ll see.”

You could see the stress levels that you tried so desperately to lower over lunch to begin raising as you and Eddie filed into the day room for group therapy. How his jaw clenched so hard you were surprised he didn’t break enamel, a shortening fuse near a naked flame as he took his seat next to you. Leg bouncing with beats akin to a hummingbird’s heart, chewing at the skin around his ruined nails with eyesight dancing around the room to end up on the tile right in front of him. You couldn’t blame him; he was walking into the unknown, with no idea where the hell he would end up. You remembered the feeling well.

Others clad in the same off white uniform as you took their respective seats around you, the energy in the room a palpable, frantic buzz. Nerves, apathy, distaste and mocking. You could feel it all, see it in the faces around you that you’d come to know in the years that you’d been imprisoned. Small naked flames, that could be as harmless as a match or as intense as thermite. The day could go either way. And it would depend on the questions posed to them.

Dr. Madden made his way through the doors, adjusting the thick horned rimmed glasses that permanently perched on his beak-like nose as he took his seat. You’d never liked him; he was nosy, even for a psychiatrist, always putting two and two together to end up with an equation that made no fucking sense. Nothing could ever be simple, in his eyes. Someone’s violent outburst had some convoluted reasoning to do with Daddy issues and not being hugged enough as a child, rather than someone just needing a fucking cigarette and not being given one. It took everything within you not to roll your eyes into the back of your skull as he cleared his throat to begin.

“Good afternoon everyone,” he began, eyes settling over each patient for a brief second before focusing on Eddie. “We’re welcoming a new person into the wing today. Have you had any sort of therapy like this before, Mr. Munson?”

Eddie’s reply was a brief shake of his head, glance not leaving the cracks of the floor as he fiddled with the split ends of his hair. Madden’s bushy eyebrow raised a fraction as he sat himself slightly forward. “Well, we start with a brief check in. How we’re feeling, what we’d like to talk about in today’s session. Perhaps you could start us off? You seem nervous today.”

You couldn’t hold back a scoff, the psychiatrist’s beady eyes narrowing on you as you fished through your pockets for your pack of cigarettes. The look on his face evident that he wasn’t amused at your perceived insolence to his ‘therapeutic process’. He could shove that process where the sun didn’t shine, as far as you were concerned.

“He’s a newbie, of course he’s gonna be nervous,” you shrugged, waving over an orderly with a lighter, who seemed to be watching you with ever so slight trepidation as he ignited the flame that you used to puff life into your cigarette. Huffing out an exhale of smoke that was aimed in his direction. “Bit of a redundant question, isn’t it?”

Madden was a tough nut to crack, but you’d managed to get the veins in his neck bulging a couple of times. You just needed to know which buttons to press, and it seemed you hit one with a jab to his reasoning. “I don’t find it redundant at all,” he answered with a smile slightly too smug for your liking. “But if you think that an example of a check in could help, maybe you could go first instead?”

You took a sharp inhale as you gave a grimace of indifference, face scrunched up as you jerked your head towards an older lady that seemed on the edge of her seat to talk. “Why don’t you get Miriam to do it? From what I remember, she was just starting to open up about her fucker of an ex husband.”

Was using another patient’s anger, something you knew got them started into an hour long tangent until they were red in the face unethical? Maybe. But it was every man for himself out here, and you didn’t have anything akin to backup in the process. As expected, the woman launched into a tirade, screechings which contained the words “useless bastard” and “should have divorced him before he did it to me!” melding into the background as you shot a smug smirk in Madden’s direction. To his credit, he was hiding his distaste well, his only giveaway the slight flush creeping above his collar.

For most of the session, you managed to evade the heat from coming towards you and Eddie. A few more prods to Miriam, staying silent when the psychiatrist asked if anyone else had anything to add. A question to old man Hardy about the house he got kicked out from before being transferred, each person being used like a shield to hide from the questions you knew Madden had for you. You knew you were fucked from the moment he put his hand up to cut off Duane about his teenage trauma prematurely, eyes fixed on you as he sat back in his chair.

“Does Duane’s story resonate with you?” he asked with a heightened pitch of voice, head slightly tilted as his lips twitched upwards. It caused your back to straighten, knowing full well where he was going with this. Somewhere you swore never to go back to, ever since the nightmares ever so slightly decreased and the flashing images weren’t permanently burned into the back of your eyelids.

“No.”

The words reverberated around clenched teeth, knuckles turned white as you gripped the cracked pleather of the cushion you sat on. Out of your peripheral vision, you saw Eddie staring at you with a slight questioning to his glance, and it made your gut twist even more. You hated how suddenly the tentative power dynamic had switched. How your already lacking control was going to spiral even further, if Madden willed it.

“I think it might, though,” the good doctor continued, the slight smirk being poorly hidden as his head tilted to the side. “You had a lot happen when you were eighteen, didn’t you? When you made the choice to-”

“I’m not going to talk about it,” you snapped back, folding your arms as a poorly constructed buffer between you and the man opposite. Your eyes glanced at the clock on the wall, a slight ease of tension as you realised the time. “Not with only five minutes left of the session.”

“But you’re going to have to talk about it sooner or later,” he countered, daring to look slightly sympathetic as he regarded you. “You’ve been here two years, and you’ve never talked about that night. It doesn’t show much progress, now does it?”

You wanted to stand up, pick up your chair, and crash it over the top of his head. How the fuck would he know what ‘progress’ you’d been making? How much work you’d had to put into yourself, rationalising and justifying everything about the night that changed the path of your life, so much that you probably could never step foot on the original trail if you tried. How you still tortured yourself with what you could have done differently, the actions that you did take haunting you like spectres? Madden knew nothing of how often you’d dragged yourself off the precipice time and time again, nothing but bloody fingernails and a quickly ebbing will to live, as you weighed up the decisions of falling asleep to never wake up again against staying alive to do everything in your power to clear the stain on your name.

To Madden’s credit, he didn’t push further. Letting the silence hang in the air, perhaps a non-verbal push that might get you talking. It might have worked, once upon a time. When you had no secrets to hide, too worried about what others thought, wanting to please people so much that it deprived you of happiness. But that was before you were branded a psycho, tossed into this place with the key thrown away. Now, you couldn’t give a shit about what others thought.

Except, there was a way your stomach dropped when you looked over to see the way Eddie looked at you. Not with disgust or horror, which you were used to by now. There was slight concern in his eyes, mixed with empathy, the combination making you want to squirm in your seat. You didn’t even know each other, yet his humanity seemed to still be intact for now, seeing another person clearly struggling and not being able to do anything about it.

You decided to stare at the clock on the wall for the rest of the session, filtering out all other noises and focusing on watching the minute hand strike closer and closer until time was up.

As you put away chairs, you expected Eddie to ask you about it. Maybe try to pry, or get answers for questions that could be in his own mind. But he didn’t. He stayed silent as you both wandered back to the table you met at, sitting down with him wordlessly reaching for the deck of cards in the middle and starting to shuffle. And silent you stayed. Going through the motions of a routine you knew too well; free time, ‘music’ therapy - as if listening to the same vinyl of Bach twice a week for two years would do anything other than make you want to smash your head against the chipped white walls. Dinner consisting of a brick of so-called ‘meatloaf’ that you knew well enough to avoid even attempting to eat, settling for tasteless vegetables and vaguely lime flavoured Jell-o instead.

Even silent when the orderly Nguyen told you to haul ass to the laundry room for work placement, and to take your new ‘friend’ with you. You were brought out of the routine of folding sheets when you heard Eddie clear his throat, looking up to see him slightly rattled as he sorted various clothing into separate piles.

“Hey uh… You don’t have to say anything if you don’t wanna, but… Thanks. For today.” You saw the corners of his lips twitch upwards, a ghost of a smile as his eyeline landed on the messy stack of undershirts. “Didn’t have to stick your neck out of me, but you did. Appreciate it.”

You mustered the leftover social energy you had to lift your shoulders into a slight shrug, rubbing the back of your head whilst the other hand took your weight as you leaned slightly on the table. “It’s nothing. Sorry for not being so talkative I just… Still don’t wanna talk about why I’m here, y’know?”

A curt nod was his reply at first, lips a narrow line and eyes darting around as if he was thinking hard about something. Finally glancing towards the door, then around the room, as if to make double sure that what he was about to say wouldn’t be overheard. He looked panicked; either a deer in the headlights or a lion ready to defend itself, you weren’t sure.

“They said I killed people.”

It was so quiet you barely picked up on it, and you had to admit, it took you aback. There was an initial flight or flight reaction that doused your autonomic system, as if his words set off a red light in your head and you had to start looking for an improvised weapon. However, that was pure instinct, only for a second before logic took over. For someone who was apparently a killer, he certainly did look hollow about it all. Besides. Those in glass houses…

“Did you do it?” you mumbled back, eyes leaving his to take the pressure of both of you, hands busying themselves with folding the now grey sheet in front of you, toying with the frayed corner to try and conceal it in the fold somehow.

“No.”

You found yourself at a precipice. He had stuck his neck out to tell you his charge, not knowing if you’d stick around or bolt and leave him on his own again. It was a sign of trust; an olive branch, that you could either accept or leave hanging between you. You had only known Eddie a day. Less than that, maybe seven hours, tops. But so far, he seemed to have his wits about him. He didn’t strike you as the judgemental type. He didn’t pry, and he tried to distract you when you were at your lowest, instead of offering useless advice or forcing you to open up. When you looked up at him, there was no hint of deceit that you could tell. He was staring at you with those intense eyes of his, an expression reading both ‘I’m telling the truth’ and ‘dear God, I hope you fucking believe me’.

For so long, you had wanted reinforcements in this place so badly. To not fight alone, to have backup. In the outside world, no way would you trust someone this fast. But this was Pennhearst. A place with different rule sets. You needed to take the help wherever it came from, and hope it didn’t blow back in your face later.

You needed to give him something in return.

You didn’t falter with eye contact as you said the words you thought you’d never say. The words that made your stomach churn, made you want to flinch as you said them. “They said I killed people, too.”

You saw the look on his face to be one of bewilderment, eyes scanning you up and down as if he’d never seen you before. You wondered if that’s what you’d looked like not five seconds ago, mirroring each other as you confessed your sins. “Did you do it?”

“No.”

The crease between his eyebrows seemed to smooth, after what felt like hours of staring at each other, the only other sounds the rhythmic knocking of the decrepit industrial dryers. It was you who finally broke the silence, busying yourself again with grabbing the pile of undershirts near you by the bottom and pulling it towards you to begin folding. “I don’t expect you to believe me. And if you don’t want me to know about what happened, I’m not gonna push it.” You shook your head as you frowned at the fabric in your hands.

“Why do you believe me? When I say I didn’t do it?”

You glanced back up at him to find a worried expression on his face, staring at you like he couldn’t quite believe you. As if it was too good to be true, to finally be believed. You wracked your brain for an answer, only to shrug and say the first thing on your mind. “Because guilty people don’t look so frightened of their consequences. I suppose on a subconscious level, they know they deserve the hell they created for themselves.”

You heard a sound which you figured to be a sharp exhale of air through his nose, most likely an attempt at a wry laugh. “You don’t look frightened.”

Your lips turned downward as you frowned again. “You get good at hiding it after a while, I guess.”

You heard your name being called, so softly that your heart nearly shattered. Not your last name being barked out with disdain, or in a patronising tone like a shrink would. It was said like somebody actually gave a shit. You looked up to be met with a look that was one of genuine concern, his eyebrows furrowed and lips slightly parted as if he was wondering what to say.

It was getting too intense for your liking.

Shaking your head as you cleared your throat, you flashed a tight smile as your folding became hurried. “Finish that pile quick, yeah? Orderlies hit the roof when you don’t finish your chores on time.”

To his credit, Eddie didn’t push it. The rest of the time being filled with small talk and comfortable silences, until your names were called to be taken back to your room for the night. The motions of getting ready to bed had become mechanical a long time ago, on autopilot as you brushed your teeth and changed clothes. Hearing the call for lights out, and getting plunged into darkness against your will. You knew that first checks were in an hour.

You had sixty minutes to cry to yourself about finally being seen, about not being treated like a criminal that deserved the way you were being treated. Hugging the pillow to your face and willing yourself not to be making a sound, clutching the cheap cotton between your fingers as if your life depended on it. Sixty minutes until you needed to shove the emotions back down, and face tomorrow, same as you always did.

Same as you always did, but at least you had someone on your side.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson imagine #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things imagine #stranger things x you #eddie munson self insert #stranger things self insert

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stardusthuntress · 2 years ago

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It will all be tagged "zenith writes" to make it easier to find.

NEW! taglist poll!

I write for the Clones of Star Wars x reader. You may request a GN!reader version of anything, OR if you spot something offensive or problematic and would like to (politely) let me know that there's a nicer way to phrase it, my inbox is open! Or if you want to pop in and say hi, dm me!

I just write when the inspiration hits. Mostly using this as my emotional processing system - just gonna write it all out. Shouting my nerdiness and pain into the void, maybe one day it will shout back (in a good way, hopefully). Thought others might relate and or have similar comfort mechanisms, so here's my work if ya wanna bother to read any of it!

Key: (consider ALL below to be NSFW, 18+)

* = smutty, even if mildly so, expect mentions of arousal and the like at a minimum

FOLLOWER CELEBRATION!!! There's ~150 of you now!!! (STARS that's a LOT!) And you guys decided you want more of my 'Right Attire' set! So that's what's in the works! That being said, FYI the title might change... (I promise I am still working on these!)

...and back to your regular programming!!!

The Bad Boys of Clone Force 99

Sergeant Hunter

* What Does Beauty Look Like? (female!reader) one-shot, implied smut!

* the Right Attire (afab!reader) one-shot, smut

ARC Corporal Echo

* a Gala-ctic Evening (afab!reader) one-shot, but featuring a smutty *Part 2!

* Hot... in So Many Ways! (femaleMandalorian!reader) one-shot, but will eventually have a smutty part 2!

Crosshair

To Speak Without Words (female!reader) mini-series, WIP (just Ch. 1 rn, 2 is in the works!)

Somebody to Lean On (female!reader) one-shot, hurt-comfort

Tech

What Does Real Love Look Like? (female!reader) one-shot, but I couldn’t resist making a *Part 2! With a happier ending that’s starting to get a little smutty!

* Turn Ons (gn!reader) drabble/imagine

EnigmaTech (female!reader) mini-series, WIP (Ch. 2, Ch. 3, Ch. 4, ...) my Tech lives AU! (he lives, but they still gotta go get him, and Cross, and Omega, with reader's help!)

Concealed in a Touch (gn!reader) one-shot, touch-starved comfort fic!

Technically, it's Body Dysmorphia (female!reader) drabble/imagine - just a short comfort fic!

All

* Strong Women (female!reader) drabble/imagine - individually, but in one post

Triggered (female!reader) one-shot - deals with body dysmorphia, angsty comfort fic, all the boys being sweet towards reader

Shark Week (afab!reader) one-shot - periods suck, the boys are here to help!

The Boys in Blue - the 501st

Captain Rex

Angel Eyes (female!reader) one-shot, Rex is flirty because it felt like it fit him in this scenario! Reader is Chiss (look up Thrawn if this is new to you!)

Ancient Remedies (female!reader) one-shot, I guess it's a hurt-comfort, but Rex is the injured one and your job is to keep him from leaving medbay, for Kix's sanity of course

ARC Corporal Fives

What is Lost Can Also Be Found (female!reader) one-shot, sorta hurt-comfort but you’re comforting Fives, Fives Lives AU! (NEW)

Five for Fives (female!reader) one-shot, Fives Lives AU! (NEW)

The Knight in Shining Armor - Din Djarin

True Partners (femaleMandalorian!reader) mini-series, this one WILL get spicy - Ch. 1… WIP (NEW!)

Additional characters coming soon!

Credit Where It's Due:

Bad Batch boys dividers by @/djarrex

colorful dividers by @/saradika

(hyperspace headers/footers are my own)

Other

Lore rants: look for the tags “stardust rants” “zenith rants”, “infodump”, and “sw lore”

Science: I'm a space scientist by trade, so I have moments when I need to let my science out a bit. Those moments will be tagged as "secret scientist" and "Stardust rants" because my username is in fact, a pun. I could tell you more, but then it wouldn't be a secret, would it? ;P

no clone-cest here please!

#masterlist #zenith writes #the bad batch #tbb #tbb tech #stardust rants #secret scientist #Captain Rex #oh captain my captain #sergeant hunter x reader #tbb tech x reader #arc echo x reader #tbb arc echo x reader #TBB x reader #EnigmaTech #a gala-ctic evening #crosshair x reader

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redfoxrunt · 1 year ago

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So, hey babes. The like, two of you who probably aren't reading the blog anyway, and all of the hot singles in my area. Just feels more like... talking to the potential of someone here than on Dreamwidth, where the follower count is one account. This is gonna be crazy, but I'm fairly sure I already warned you (nonspecific) about that in the header or pinned post or whatnot; it's what you get, right?

Talking about my parents.

I'm in an insanely unique position, being the child that my parents lost. You don't really get perspective like that from most cases, and yet. I also have it on two levels, rather than just one; first I was the child that was estranged from them, stopped returning calls, etc., and then the child that died. I assume they were at my funeral, but maybe not. I honestly can't even tell if, under the circumstances, they would have been notified that I died. How much of it was in the news? How much information are you entitled to if you're not listed as a contact for the person who's dead? Like, the whole thing is a fucking mess, and obviously I wasn't there to witness any of it, so yeah.

It's not because they did a bad job with me (or D, for that matter.) We always got the best in life as far as they could provide, we were middle class and privileged in that our parents loved each other and loved us and practiced good parenting to the degree that two human beings can. Sometimes they were tired, sometimes they were pissed off, sometimes we tired them, but at the end of the day we were always loved, and that's not something you can take for granted in life. I guess that's part of the problem, though, like - as shitty and entitled as that sounds. Because after Danny died, it was like... the illusion shattered. I spent weeks back home after, because I couldn't exist in my own skin with what had happened and what I'd seen and what I couldn't understand or put into words or any of it, and the child part of me was like... when things are scary and don't make sense, you go home. Real home, not your flat where you're all alone and all the sounds from outside freak you out like you've never heard your neighbours exist before. And the reality check was when none of that helped. My parents didn't come to my bedroom (guest bedroom; they'd repurposed the house since we moved out, like normal people tend to do) for more than to let me know dinner's served or to ask me if I wanted to go out for a little while. And when I didn't, that was all. The realisation that that was all they could do, that no amount of me crying would have them bring my brother back, it killed something in me that I didn't even know I'd had before then. I realised that I can't go home because home isn't this magical safe space where everything will be alright, even though they'd taught me that as a kid. Home had always been the magical place where you go to make everything better, but after D's death, after the funeral, it felt just as fake as - you know? Like a staged play. Nothing in it was real anymore, everything I'd been taught was a lie, and the world is a shitty, horrible, fucked up place that doesn't care about you or your loss or your grief or your pleas. And your parents are just people. And I guess I hated them for it, because they'd lied to me that they were something omnipotent when all along they were just people, just like me, just as powerless and unable to change anything that had happened or would happen next or ever. Blowing on a bruise never did fuck all to heal it. It's all a fucking lie.

So, I don't know how much anybody else knows about what I did after that, I have a really skewed idea of how much of that is "known" and how much of it I just think should be known, but once I got back on my feet, I was vengeful as fuck and not thinking straight. Part of my revenge was to cut my parents off. Stop answering calls, one word text messages if I needed to reply to something, and when they did what I was clearly asking them to do which was leave me the fuck alone and stop trying to poke their noses into my life, I saw that as further proof that I was right to be angry at them for... failing me, or Danny, or something. For not being fucking wizards.

So that's child loss on child loss for them. I don't recall really thinking about it much at the time. I don't think I was thinking much in general, period, it's just - every time they'd contact me, I'd get this surge like heartburn but in my veins and get this urge to chuck my fucking phone at a wall or out the window. Like fuck off from my life, stop reminding me of everything that's wrong, stop trying to approach me like I'm being unreasonable, because what I feel and how I'm acting is the most reasonable thing in the world. "Tim you need help" just reinforces that there's no help to be had and I'm in this shit alone and other people just make it worse because when I look at them, I know they're the same as me. Nobody can do anything about anything. And it's the sense of powerlessness that I can't take, right? That feeling that we're all just lying to ourselves and each other about having control.

I don't have the energy or interest to go into the rest of that story. There isn't much to talk about in terms of my parents anyway, since I'd cut them off. But it's a sore subject to talk about, like most things, when we try to approach it with D here. When I'm not ignoring he exists to begin with because I just fucking cannot and what am I even supposed to do with any of this, it's still like we're mostly making small-talk about subjects that barely matter while maybe tapping the ice on shit we really need to be talking about with a thin stick, because that's all the ice can take. Diving into child memorial pages, child loss blogs, etc. was both accidental and the bravest and most direct thing we've done so far to address any of it. Felt good to do it together, and just not say a thing while at it. Just experience that side by side and know that he's feeling what I'm feeling and thinking what I'm thinking and that's enough for now. He's joked that maybe it's in the genes for us, the not being able to address things, not wanting to talk. He's better at it than I am, though. At least he tries. I don't know if I'm trying or if I'm just being led along like a blind ass, but either way, it's things we've got to get to if I ever want to feel... less like shit again, I guess. It's fucked trying to do this without a proper therapist but then again talking to a therapist didn't really work the first time around, and now we don't have one to go to. But yeah, reading through all of that was soothing in some sense, which is also fucked up. It's feelings that I haven't gotten to yet. Something about like, maybe I did matter a little after all. Maybe I and my life were beautiful to them. Maybe they saw me like that, too. I don't know. All I feel most days is a failure, or burden, or just not good enough for anybody. So... yeah. Guess that's pretty much all.

#brave boy blogging tonight in this house and tagging this as #tim stoker #in case literally anybody out there cares to read about this.#I'm just an imaginary guy from the void don't mind me in your tags.#grief #personal #explain? explain what? no I won't.

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retro-rat · 11 months ago

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The website of Virtually Isolated is looking better and better each pass. I got stuff to yap about on the left, links to the blogs and other trash on the right in the form of 150X20 banners and 2 large images. I had a few days off so I started working on it a lot and did like 50 updates in the span of 4 days. I just throw the skeletons of pages online, get motivated by it being out there and instantly start the next few pages, post them, repeat. So now I'm just forcing myself to leave this update till Jan or something. I still have a bunch of pages to keep adding to the Adventure logs or the Webcomic list having actual links and buttons. I have 3 pages that are basically "About Me" but I don't want to condense them honestly. The first one is a little neutral, the second one is more of a time line of playing games as a kid to growing online and where I am now and the 3rd one is just like "Lol, i'm pan, dreaming of transing and a raging, low poly furry" which is a little hidden because plenty of people online still suck. Next big update is gonna have to be the Shrines. I wanna talk so much about this stuff that I loved and have seen turn to shit. I'm still fighting whether or not I should make brand new pages for those or if I can just stick them in the yellow trash background and just add little images here and there. I feel like I should commit, but I might need to learn to use something like Fireworks. That way I should be able to just piece it together in a photoshop clone and then slice my clickables. I also really wanna add a top frame with a mini music player with a quick collection of PSX breakcore tunes played at a low enough volume. Right now every page is it's own thing and any updates on headers or sides needs to be applied to every page separately. This update ain't live yet. I might rush it if I get more work done this week. But it really looks like I've been spamming news every other day right now. Which I have, but each update comes with like at least 4 new pages and various touch-ups. Again, that's Virtually Isolated on Neocities. The place where I'm keeping a collection of ramblings, nostalgia and some of the tabletop stuff from my other blog.

#aesthetic #personal #me #neocities #web design #website #old web #retrorat

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jesterlaughingstock · 1 year ago

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I can't keep this in any longer. Im sorry. This is incredibly self indulgent and its gonna show. Its really gonna show

Sam and Jared both leave at 18. Sam goes on a scholarship to Stanford as per the show, and Jared goes on an athletic scholarship (the sport in question is soccer. Idk if they do soccer scholarships in america but they gonna do it today. Why? Cuz idk shit about american football. Thats why!) to another school thats near Stanford because he wanted to be close to his brother.

They live together for the first year just fine, but when the summer comes, Jared wants to visit Dean and John and hunt with them, make up of sorts. Sam doesn't want to, and a fight breaks out. Jared looks for the other Winchesters anyway, and when he can't find them, Sam's "I told you so" cocky attitude only increases the tension between them. Jared soon gets an opportunity to play football (i cant keep calling it soccer. Im sorry i cant) professionally in a club. He drops out of school and takes it, moving away from Sam.

Fast forward to pilot time, Dean breaks into Sam's place, and he goes. "Where's Jared?"

"Uh, I don't know." Sam replies, a little tense. "He dropped out and got signed in some club."

"When did you last hear of him?"

"I'm not sure, it's been a while.. Dean, what is this about?"

And then Dean goes "dad's missing.. yadda yadda yadda... i need all the help i can get. We should go get Jared."

Sam reluctantly agrees. After some digging, they find him relatively easily. He's still in the area, so it's not that long of a drive. They get there the next morning, just in time to see him mid match.

He's grown and filled out since the last time they saw him; heck, it looks like he's a couple inches taller than even Sam. He plays defensive midfielder; an optimal position for a player in his physical condition; fast, strong but coordinated enough to tackle without fouling, tall enough to win almost every aerial duel with precise but powerful headers. He makes decisive passes, reads the field in seconds and acts accordingly. His dribble could use a little work, but he can take the ball from an opponent like taking a candy from a child. He doesn't score, but you can't say that he didn't put on a great match.

This entire skillset flies over Sam and Dean's heads as they impatiently wait for the referee to declare an end to the match.

After the match is done, Dean lets out a loud whistle that makes Sam wince and most heads turn towards him, including Jared who does a double take before jogging to them, a reluctant smile on his face.

"Let me guess.." He says as he wipes his forehead with a towel. "You're here because of the good news.. aren't you?"

Dean frowns. "Good news?"

"Of course YOU wouldn't think it's good news."

"What in the hell are you talking about." Sam deadpans.

Dean rolls his eyes. "Dad's missing. He's been on a hunting trip for a few days."

Jared's face dropped. He looked around to not show it. "So? I'll put up a flyer on the locker room if you want me to, see if anyone saw him passed out drunk in a ditch."

"Jared, this isn't funny." Sam berated him. "He could be in serious trouble."

"Oh. Hey, Sammy, how are you? Still don't know how to pick up a phone and press the call back button?"

"I was busy."

"Well I wasn't picking up daisies over here on my end either? You only know to call me when you're sick and your little girlfriend isn't home.."

"It was one time!"

"And then disappear for the rest of the year! I had to call brady to find out if you were feeling better..."

"...Unbelievable... you get meningitis one time and you have it held over your head for the rest of your life..."

"..how fucking stupid are you to think it's about that? Do you even hear me...?"

Feeling the beginning of a headache forming behind his eyes, Dean came between the bickering twins. "Alright, that's enough!"

"Bitch." "Prick."

"Jared," Dean said impatiently. "Are you coming or not?"

Jared glared at Sam before resigning. "Fine. But you only have me for the weekend, I have to be here by Monday."

"Sure."

"Dean, I don't think you understand me." Jared said with a tight smile and an air of danger in his eyes. "I NEED to be here on Monday. I don't want your half hearted "sure". If I'm not here by Monday, I'm royally screwed."

"What, you got an appointment with the mafia?" Sam quipped.

"You'd think that of me, wouldn't you?" Jared sighed. "Give me 15 minutes, I'm gonnna go change and take a shower."

Help i accidentally saw a post where someone made up a twin for sam and while washing dishes i accidentally fleshed him out gave him a personality a career a dynamic in the winchester family and incorporated him into the show's story

#more to follow in a bit

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chaoticharrington · 5 months ago

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Chapter Five: The Club and Terrible Timing

***BEFORE YOU READ ANY FURTHER THERE IS GOING TO BE SEX, HEAVY BDSM THEMES, AND OTHER GENERAL NSFW THINGS. IF YOU ARE A MINOR/A BLANK BLOG/ A BLOG WITH NO AGE PLEASE DO NOT INTEREACT! IF I SEE IT, I WILL BLOCK IMMEDIATELY! THANKS!<3***

Pairing: Professor! Steve Harrington x Best Friends Dad! Eddie Munson x Fem! Reader

Warnings: SOOO much angst in this chapter IM SORRY! smut! oral f receiving, dry humping, kissing, alcohol consumption, slight inspection kink,dirty talk, also lots of fluff!!! Eddie and Steve are in their early to mid 40s and reader is in her mid 20s

Summary: Violet tries to get over her break-up by taking you to clubs all across Indiana which you happily oblige. Your latest adventure not turning out how either of you had planned.

Author's Note: Hi my loves! I hope you're all doing well! i'm sorry for not uploading in a month, i've not had the motivation or the energy... and i've re written this chapter a bunch! but i hope you all like it! plenty more chapters to come! 9k

**Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four**

(banners and headers by @cafekitsune)

“Okay I gotta go Eds, I’m gonna be late” you say, pulling yourself off the older man’s lips. Eddie’s grip being too strong, pulling you back into his arms.

“Nuh uh, this is a crime of the highest order, a King needs his Queen!” He announces dramatically. You giggle into Eddie’s skin, breathing in his scent. You thought of abandoning school all together today, and spending the day with him while Violet was at work. The two of you barely got any time together in the basement anymore now that Violet wasn’t over at Quinns anymore, or away at her mom’s. You snuck in sleepovers when she would be working overnights. Otherwise you and Eddie squeezed into your tiny apartment, spending every second together that you could. As if the universe knew exactly how to punish you, your phone rings.

“Hi babe” you answer kindly.

“Hi, so we’re going out tonight.” Violet announces bluntly on the other end of the phone.

“Where are you taking me now?” you ask, a slight amusement in your tone. Violet had been doing her best to get over Quinn by taking you out to various bars and clubs across the state of Indiana. You weren’t really the type to go to a new bar every weekend. But you love Violet, if this was helping her stop hurting, then you’d do it forever for her.

“A bar in the city, I’ll come pick you up at 7!” she says excitedly before hanging up. You sigh, putting your phone back down on the bed, smiling at Violets infectious energy. You felt guilty at the tug in your stomach, disappointed that you didn’t have another night to yourself with Eddie.

“Alright mister I gotta go, I can stop by after class” you say reluctantly, going back to moisturizing your face.

��No stay” he protests scooping you up in his arms, and showering you with kisses all over your face.

The two of you had just spent a very domestic morning together, eating breakfast in the basement while Eddie worked on a new campaign, the two of you getting ready in the bathroom. You had just put on your bra and panties while Eddie was shedding his clothes to get into the shower.

You watch him pout from the mirror, your back turned to him. You didn’t really want to leave him, but you wanted to go to the library before class and now that Violet was taking you out tonight, you needed to get it done now. You blew a kiss to him as he reluctantly got into the shower, tail tucked between his legs like a dog.

You sneak peaks of your beautiful boyfriend in the shower while you brush your teeth. You never could get over just how good looking he is, body covered in tattoos, his greying curls, his slightly toned arms from playing guitar all his life, and his long fingers currently running through his hair. You tried to fight it, but you were now a full blown Eddie Munson addict. Addicted to his touch, his smile, his laugh, the crinkling around his eyes from years of smiling, his kisses, and most importantly the way he made you feel. You could feel your body heat up with desire, a storm at your center.

Your eyes meet Eddies, a smirk plastered across his face, eyebrow raised playfully. You roll your eyes lightly in response, shaking your thoughts of Eddie out of your head. You try to hide a smile that’s threatening to seep onto your lips.

Half naked you start to head back into Eddies room to get dressed for the day. When a pair of wet hands grab your waist pulling you for a hug. You scream out in surprise, wrapping your arms around Eddies very wet ones. You can hear his giggling in your ears, your resolve diminishing, giving into your boyfriend antics and laughing alongside him.

He slips the few items of clothing you were wearing off quickly, pulling you into the steaming hot shower. Eddie’s more beautiful up close under the water, his long eyelashes glittering with water droplets, and his lips red and plump from the steam.

Not being able to resist him anymore you go onto your tippy toes to kiss him, his arms scooping you up bringing you closer to him. The kiss was one of softness and affection. Not like times in the dungeon where his kisses were rough and bruising. These ones were like he was trying to show you how much he cared about you. Soft but firm, passionate but not dominating. You smile against his lips, feeling his smiling right back at you, savoring this moment.

“You’re so beautiful” he says breathlessly as he pulls back, pushing some of your now wet hair out of your face.

You cringe at his words; you’ve been working on trying to believe him but it’s hard. You shove your head into his chest, allowing him to encase you. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes, you felt safe, you couldn’t remember the last time you felt this safe and at home. Not even when you were a kid or when you got a hug from either of your parents, it was something entirely different. If only you could stop this moment, and live in it forever, or go back when you were feeling sad. You realize now what people mean when they say, “When you know you know”, it just feels different, it feels easy.

Guilt always followed this feeling, how could you feel so deeply for someone and not be able to tell your best friend. It was starting to eat away at your heart and soul. You and Eddie had decided that you were going to tell her tomorrow, and you were both excited and terrified at the same time. You just hoped that over time she would be able to see just how happy the two of you made each other.

Eddies hand forces your face up to his, letting the water wash away your guilt and be present with him. He smiles at you warmly, you smile back, the entire world in his eyes. Reminding you that everything was going to be okay. He holds your head in one of his hands caressing your cheek, bringing his lips to your forehead and leaving a kiss there. How did he know you so well that he knew what you were thinking without you even having to tell him? You swoon at his action, redness spilling onto your cheeks.

He turns you around, dips your head back so the running water drenches your hair. He massages slow circles into your scalp, forcing a moan from your lips. You let him lather your hair in shampoo and massage it into your scalp. He takes his time, being meticulous not to miss a single strand of hair. Leaving little kisses on your neck in between lathers. Even simple acts like this, no sexual touching or tension, just the two of you together. It was enough to quiet your brain for the rest of the day, he knew how to calm you down when your brain was working too hard or when your mind needed a break.

Once your hair was squeaky clean and conditioned, Eddie took a washcloth and started washing the rest of your body, scrubbing soap into every area of your skin, being just as meticulous as he was with your hair. Touching you gently and affectionately, you could feel all the unsaid feelings and words by each touch of his hands or body on your skin.

You turn your attention to him, asking him to bend down so you can get the curls at the top of his head, he grandiosely kneels down for you to properly reach the top of his head. The two of you giggling at the action. Your fingers get to work trying to mimic the massage he had given you, making him moan into your chest, leaving open mouth kisses on your tummy. Your body tensing slightly, all your negative body image issues threatening to pour out of your ears. But Eddie’s strong hands grab your waist softly, quieting those thoughts once more. You marvel at his touch, forcing yourself to concentrate on washing all the shampoo from his hair. His curls feel silky and soft in your fingers, the grey marbled into his curls like a galaxy.

You finish conditioning his hair and washing his body, the two of you stand under the water together, completely clean but not ready to get out of the shower. You have your arms wrapped around his waist, and his around your shoulders, resting his head on top of yours.

Eddie eventually turns the water off and gets out of the shower, offering you a hand. Taking his hands in yours letting him help you out of the shower and wrap a fluffy towel around you.

“Thank you for stayin’ with me” Eddie says softly, leaving a kiss on your forehead.

“Thank you for making me stay” you mutter into his chest, as much as you wanted to go to the library, you could never pass up time like this. You hear Eddie hum around you, his chest vibrating against your face, warming your insides.

You let Eddie dry you off and dress you, leaving kisses on your bare skin before putting each article of clothing on. Then you do the same for him. Each kiss to open skin, every piece of clothing, a sign of devotion to the other. So many words not said but shown instead, you didn’t know for certain if Eddie felt the same way you did, but your heart hoped that he did.

The adoration for him seeping through your pores, it filling you up threatening to burst, three words stuck in your throat. THE three words almost slipping off your tongue, but you couldn’t let yourself say them. Not before Violet knew, not until you weren’t a secret anymore.

Plus, the two of you had only been together for a few months and you didn’t want to jump the gun and make a fool of yourself. Eddie just made you feel important and cared for, which just made it harder to hide it.

“Earth to Y/N,” you hear Eddies voice, pulling you from your thoughts. His rich brown eyes looking at you like you put the sun in the sky, paired with his goofy as ever smile, Forcing a smile onto your face.

“So, listen as much I’d love to see your cute little butt after class. I promised a friend of mine I’d help them out with something. But text me at any time if you need a ride or if you need anything tonight, okay?” he says, his voice kind but slightly serious. You know that he really would drop anything if you really needed him. A pout forms across your lips, you were hoping to stop by and thank him for the sweet morning the two of you were having together, thoughts of his cock on your tongue swirling in your brain.

You reluctantly give Eddie one more kiss before heading out the door for the day. The day was dragging on, classes were almost over for the semester and for the most part a majority of your professors had given up actually teaching or just droned on about upcoming projects that you were due. Sociology was never the same after Steve left, you noticed some students had even dropped the class, you didn’t blame them. It made you sad, thinking about Steve, you know what he was likely doing right now, probably drinking himself to the bottom of another bottle.

And it was all your fault, if you hadn’t had stupid crush on your teacher, Steve would still be doing what he loved. At least the semester was almost over so you wouldn’t have the burden of being reminded multiple times a week in class. The second your new professor dismissed you all, you hurried out of the room quickly not wanting to be tortured any longer by the images of Steve at home, slumped over his desk with tears in his eyes.

You had re played that moment so many times since it had happened, trying to make sense of it, trying to figure out why you felt so deeply about him. When Eddie made you the happiest you had ever been. You felt so guilty feeling so strongly about someone else, especially after the morning you and Eddie shared. Your heart just couldn’t help but ache for the man you left in that big house, all alone, drinking his sorrows away.

I’m a fucking monster

You pinch your eyebrows with your fingers, willing all the scattered pieces of yourself back together. You blow out all the air in your lungs and push your key into the ignition, driving away from school, leaving all thoughts of Steve behind.

Violet had decided to come to your place early to get ready, it reminded you of when the two of you used to get ready for school dances together when you were younger. She insisted on the both of you wearing the least amount of clothing as possible, much to your dismay.

“Since when did you become a prude? We are both hot, young, single women. We deserve to have men and women alike ogle at us from time to time. It builds self-confidence!” she declares assuredly.

Not single Not single Not single

Violet decided on a black lacey strappy dress that hugged all of her curves just right, her eyes sultry lined with two smokey black wings, and her purple hair curled to perfection sitting right above her butt. She looked like every nerdy guys gothic dream. You decide on something a little less scandalous, but still approved by Violet. Wearing a black bralette with a black mesh long sleeve over it, extenuating your breasts, pairing it with a short black mini skirt with a slit going half way up the side; and your black combat boots.

She had convinced you to take a few shots before going to the bar, your head already delightfully buzzed. You were just putting one more coat of lip gloss, when you hear Violet call out from the other room.

“Ubers here!”

The two of you squeeze into the back of an uber and head to the bar. Violet told you on the way that evidently it was a new bar in town that everyone has been talking about and posting all about over social media. Violets extensive knowledge of the bar scene completely going over your head.

The Uber let the two of you off in front of a building covered in red neon lights, you could already hear the loud music coming from inside of the building. Violet grabs your hand and the two of you head inside. The bar was more crowded than you expected, all of you smooshed into the building like sardines. The floor vibrated with how loud it is, the music combined with people chattering away made your head hurt. You make your way past other patrons and head towards the bar, Violet sits down confidently, flipping her hair behind her back.

“I’m gonna see if I can get someone to buy us some drinks, follow my lead.” She ushers the two of you closer to a group of guys who looked like they have had one too many beers already.

“Hey boys,” Violet says slyly, she was always good with getting her way. She never acted spoiled or threw a fit if she didn’t, but you always admired how confident she was and how good she is with people. She never went home with or even danced with any of the men she flirted with, her heart still stuck on Quinn, just using them to keep her mind off of her broken heart. You look around at the rest of the bar, uninterested in any of the men that were stood before you.

The bar was dimly lit, with a few candles placed on various tables around the room. The actual bar took up a majority of the back wall, filled with any kind of liquor you could possibly want. The people occupying the bar varied in age, some younger, some older, all seemingly having a good time. Couples held up in the corners of the room, talking quietly, kissing or other various salacious activities. On the right side of the room was a small dance floor, where patrons were dancing, some more lewdly than others.

When you finally returned your attention back to Violet, she handed you a drink and fluttered her eyelashes at the group of men before whisking you away to the corner of the room.

“Why are men so gross? I swear I could barely get one of them to look me in the eye, like I know my tits are great but they aren’t THAT great,” she slurs slightly, the shots catching up to her already.

The two of you sit in a corner of the room, finishing off your very strong drinks. You sat back in amusement at every guy that would pick up the courage to stop by at your table, trying to pick up one or the both of you, some more pathetic than others. You looked over at Violet every once in a while, making sure that this wasn’t all for nothing and that she was having a good time.

Violet put up a good front, it was pretty easy with her eyes disguised in black eyeliner, but you could see through to the sadness underneath it all. Beneath all of her confidence and extroverted tendencies, was agony. The type of sadness that sits in your stomach and rots, eating you from the inside out. You tried not to push her too much, asking if she was okay and told her that you were here whenever she needed to talk. But she brushed you off every single time. But you knew, she didn’t even need to tell you how she felt.. you could feel it ripping her apart on the inside. You see her smile fading slightly after turning down yet another guy. You see and in and you take it.

“Vi.. are you okay? Like really? And please no more bullshit, if I have to hear one more “I’m okay” or “I’m fine” I’m gonna scream,” you plead with your best friend.

Her shoulders drop, all hints of happiness leaving her face, behind her eyeliner she looked tired. Not just physically tired, the tired you get from pretending to be okay when you’re not, not sleeping at night because your mind won’t shut off. She turns towards you, wetness forming in the corners of her eyes, her mask finally off.

“No, I’m not, and I don’t know when I will be, I keep waiting and waiting that one day it won’t hurt so much.. I just thought that if I pretend, that eventually one day it won’t hurt so bad... but it hasn’t. For fucks sake I thought we were going to get married!... Well I wanted to get married,” she sniffles.

You grab her hand and squeeze it tightly inside yours, just grateful that she was letting you in. She looks at you gratefully and pulls you into a tight hug. You didn’t have any words to make it better, to numb her pain.. you just squeezed her tightly back and hoped it was enough.

“I dunno what I’d do without you bubs, you’re literally the only reason I’m holding it together right now,” she admits.

Guilt floods your system like a tsunami, even more unsure now how she was going to take the new about you and Eddie. Not only would you be rubbing your very happy relationship in her face, but it’s with her fucking dad, her fucking dad. No, she deserved to know. No matter what happens now, Eddie is just as important to you as she is, and you weren’t going to let him go. Violet would just have to understand.

“Alright no more sad talk, we’re here to have fun!”

She grabs your arm and takes you back over to the bar, ordering another round of shots for the two of you. Tequilla burning your throat as the two of you stumble onto the dance floor.

It’s a blur of sweat, glitter, and bodies. The two of you sway your hips back and forth to the beat of the music, giggling at one another, the alcohol officially taking effect. More and more people gather onto the dance floor, filling the room with sweat and haze.

You and Violet smile at each other, holding hands and singing obnoxiously loud to the songs playing. You can see the worry and the sadness evaporate off Violet’s face, you smile to yourself, wishing all the happiness in the world for your best friend.

After a few more songs, Violet excuses herself to go to the bathroom. You linger at the edge of the dance floor, not wanting to dance by yourself. You take the time to people watch, looking at the various patrons at the bar, guys trying to score, girls laughing with their friends, older men sitting at the bar nursing their drinks, the bartenders running around behind the bar like chickens with their heads cut off, and Eddie.

Wait.. EDDIE?!

You do a double take and then a triple take to make sure your alcohol goggles weren’t skewing your vision, and you weren’t imagining your very sexy boyfriend at a random bar with some guy. You smile and start to walk over to the table where Eddie was at to say hello. But you stop in your tracks, the closer you get, the back of the other man’s head becomes increasingly more familiar. Steve fucking Harrington.

Your body freezes, your brain working a million miles a minute.

Steve knows Eddie?

Eddie knows Steve?

How?

Why?

Your body stiffens even further when you see Steve’s large hand envelop the upper part of Eddies thigh, traveling farther and farther up his leg. Your breath caught in your throat, a lump making its home there.

How could he?

What the hell?

What the fuck is going on?

Eddie looks at Steve, kind of sad but also startled, his eyes wander behind Steve’s head and locks eyes with you. His mouth hung open agape. That’s the last thing you see before the tears cloud your vision. You push past the crowd of people in the bar, making your way to the front door. Pushing the door open, the cold air forcing goosebumps across your skin.

Unable to hold the tears anymore, you let them flow freely down your face. You look around you and you don’t know what to do or where to go. You can’t leave, but you don’t want to stay either. You wrap your arms around yourself, trying to self soothe and protect yourself from the cold.

That’s when you hear the loud music from inside the bar followed by the front door closing, you hear a familiar voice call out to you.

“Y/N, it’s not what you think-, “ Eddie says desperately.

“What was his hand doing on your leg? I thought you were helping out a friend tonight?” You cut him off, trying to keep your voice level and hold back anymore tears.

You knew it, you knew Eddie was too good to be true. He’s too nice, and warm, you felt too safe around him. Every happy moment with him comes crashing down in an instant, you never really mattered to him. You were always just his daughter’s best friend, a little kid, someone to mess around with. How could you be so blind, your own stupidity kicking you in the face and knocking the air out of your lungs. You didn’t even know who you were madder at, Eddie, or at yourself.

“Fuck I was! I mean I am!” Eddie says, panic setting in his voice.

“So, him feeling you up, that’s you helping out a friend? How charitable, Eds” you spit back. You could allow yourself to be angry, but you wouldn’t break, not right now. Not if you had to go back inside and face Violet.

“Yes! No, I- we are JUST friends, baby I promise” Eddie pleads.

“I’d say we’ve been more than friends Ed” you hear another familiar voice, as Steve steps out into the midnight air.

Your heart could crumble into a million pieces by Steve’s confession, you’d fall to the ground if your brain wasn’t working so hard, buzzing like a million bees working overtime.

“You need to tell me what’s going on right now or I’m grabbing Violet and I’m never speaking to either of you ever again.” The hurt in your voice noticeable, you bite your lip to stop your lip from quivering. Eddies rubs his hands across his face, trying to find the words to explain.

“Wait, you two know each other?” Steve says, hands on his hips, all three of you looking at each other with so many unsaid questions.

“Yeah, we know each other very fucking well Steve,” you seethe, trying to hide your hurt. Steve flinches slightly, looking guilty.

“Eddie, what the fuck is going on… If-if I was just going to be a little fling for you, a heads up would have been nice! I-I let you in, I let you see every part of me and then you do THIS? I’ve been hurt in the past, but I never, ever, thought I’d be hurt by you” you choke back a sob, as angry tears start streaming down your face. You know by now that your mascara and make up were completely ruined, you felt more vulnerable than you had ever felt in your entire life.

Your heart might as well have been ripped from your chest and stomped on right in front of you on the cold hard pavement. You look at the two faces staring back at you, Steve still utterly confused and bewildered, and Eddie, well Eddie’s face mirrored yours. His eyes misty, you can see his Adams apple bobbing in his throat. Steve runs his hands nervously through his hair before speaking.

“Look this is all my fault, okay? I, shit, I’ve been so hung up on everything that happened between us that I just wanted to feel good. Eddie and I, we used to have something in the past, but it’s not happened in a long time. I don’t really know what I was thinking, I was just being stupid.” Steve admits, looking down at his shoes, his cheeks red in embarrassment.

“Between the two of you? What the fuck happened between the two of you?” a fire lit up behind Eddies eyes.

You sigh, not having it in your heart to be angry with Steve, he must have just not known that the two of you were together, or maybe Eddie hadn’t mentioned it yet.

“Remember that guy.. that kissed me... and I came over to your house crying?” you say defeated; you point over at Steve. He raises his hand with a sympathetic look on his face.

“Guilty is charged,” Steve says lightheartedly, trying to lighten the mood.

“YOU kissed her? Jesus Christ this is so fucked up” Eddie says, pacing between the two of you, trying to clear his head. Steve nods his head, his eyes moving back and forth trying to put his thoughts together.

“Did I kiss you when you guys were together? Did you come over and check on me while you were with him?” Steve’s finger pointed at Eddie, his eyes sadder than they were a minute ago.

Eddies eyes now huge wildfires and looks at you, crossing his arms.

“What the fuck is he talking about Y/N, when did you go and see him?” he spits.

Now it was your turn for your mouth to open and close, your brain no longer able to form any words.

“No Steve, we weren’t together when we kissed. Eds listen it wasn’t like that, I just felt bad and was worried about him because he stopped coming to class. When I got to his place he was drunk and I just helped him clean up his house that’s all.” You reassure Eddie, but his expression was blank and his eyes cold.

“I asked when Y/N, when did you go over to his house?” he mutters quietly.

“3 Days ago,” you admit apologetically, looking anywhere besides Eddies disapproving eyes.

“You mean the day after we had sex? The day after “I” let YOU in?” Eddie fumes.

You bite your lip and look at him, searching for your Eddie, searching for the warmth in his eyes. But you saw nothing, he didn’t even look like himself, his face contorted in anger.

Eddie takes a few steps towards you, a frown on his face and hurt in his eyes. You flinch at his expression, you have never seen Eddie look so mad and upset, it’s so jarring. You rarely even heard the man yell.

“So, let me get this straight, you kiss Steve, and then you came running over to my house, and you let ME kiss you? And then when after we have sex, pretty fucking good sex I might add, you go over to HIS house? Un-fucking-believable Y/N,” he snarls, his voice breaking at the end.

You slump your shoulders, you needed to make him understand, to know how much he means to you.

“Eddie, I- “

“You’re fucking my dad?” You hear a voice call out from the entrance of the bar.

All the blood in your body turns to ice, this is not how you wanted her to find out, you and Eddie had a whole plan. That plan likely now in the trash, you didn’t even know if Eddie was going to forgive you.

“Violet, please not now” you hear Eddie say tiredly.

“No wait let ME get this straight” she says, stepping closer to the three of you, tears swimming in her eyes.

“Not only are you fucking my dad, YOU my best friend since middle school, AND you kissed my uncle Steve?!” she says, her lips upturned in a fake smile that was like a slap to the face.

“We were going to tell you tomorrow Vi, I promise I wasn’t trying to hide it from you. I just-“ you knew any words that you said to her right now weren’t going to matter, you could tell by the look on her face that she’s already made up her mind. You stifle a sob, looking at Eddie for help.

Eddie turns towards you, but the Eddie you had come to know wasn’t there. Almost no emotion in his eyes, he looks at you mournfully, almost like he pitied you.

“We were waiting until we knew it was serious Vi, it’s not all her fault either, take it easy,” he warns.

“No stop talking, I’ll deal with you later” she snaps, dismissing her father.

“So, what are you some kind of slut? You kiss someone else while you’re with my dad? What kind of fucking monster are you? I don’t even know who you are anymore!” she wails tears like waterfalls down her pretty face.

You didn’t know the answer to her questions, but you knew she was right. You are a monster, you’re like a hurricane that bulldozes everything it touches.

“Violet please, I’m sorry I promise I didn’t mean to hurt you, I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. You’re all the family I have, just please let’s go home so we can talk this all out.” your legs wobble, threatening to give out below you, sobs wracking in your chest. Your entire world was crashing down around you, and there was nothing you could do to stop it.

“No, we’re done, I can’t even look at you right now. Stay the fuck away from me and MY family,” she warns.

Violet turns and walks away from the three of you and the bar, you go to follow her, but a large hand envelops your shoulder.

“You probably shouldn’t,” Eddie says flatly.

“But I need to, I need to make things right, I can’t just leave it like this!” you plead with him, fresh tears blurring your vision.

Eddie nods his head knowing you well enough by now to know why you feel this way. “I think its best if there’s some space from the two of you… and us for now.”

“Wait what? Are you breaking up with me?” you squeak, the words pushing the rest of the air from your lungs. By this point your legs are numb from the cold air, anxiety filled your body making you shake like a leaf and your teeth chatter. You couldn’t even feel the cold anymore, your body feels like it's on fire, threatening to explode from the inside out.

“Eddie please, please don’t do this, don’t do this to me” you plead, begging with everything you have in you, every breath every feeling, every kiss re playing in your brain.

I can’t lose you I can’t lose you I can’t lose you please please please please don’t go

Eddie rubs his hand behind his neck, he looks tired, his eyes rimmed with tears of his own, he blinks them away and looks at you.

“I just need some space, maybe someday we can revisit this, but I can’t do this right now, I need to make things right with my daughter. She comes first, I’m sorry” he explains.

You nod your head in understanding and defeat, of course Violet comes first. Your head was so clouded in panic you forgot about how this would affect his relationship with her.

Eddie looks at Steve and then looks at you, he gives you one final nod before he walks away into the night looking for Violet.

You sink onto the cold hard sidewalk, you put your head on your knees, your back shaking harshly while all the held in tears and sobs come out in droves. You cried for what felt like hours, occasionally hearing drunk people coming out of the bar. Before you knew it the muted music playing in the bar stopped and the lights on the inside went out. You lift your head up to rest on your knees, your eyes surely swollen from all the crying, your whole body hurt. Partially from sitting so long, but also because you don’t think you’ve ever cried so hard in your life. Your eyes hurt, your chest ached, and your throat felt like it was on fire.

You see movement to your left and look to see Steve sitting next to you patiently on the pavement. His arms on his knees, he turns his head to look at you, his eyes full of worry.

“Sorry if I startled you or something, I just- I didn’t like the idea of you being downtown all by yourself in your state. I hope that’s okay” he says kindly.

His warmness making your chest hurt, you didn’t deserve his kindness, or anyone’s kindness after everything that happened.

“You don’t have to stay with me, I’ll just call an uber or something...” you say softly, wiping the rest of the tears from your face.

Steve doesn’t say anything, he just stands up and at first you think he’s going to take you at your word and leave. Then you feel his hand on your back, ushering you up, you start to protest. But he just ushers you silently towards his car. He gets in the driver’s side and turns on the car, then he gets out and helps you into the passenger side, holding you gently.

“I turned the seat warmers on, feel free to turn the heat up, you must be freezing.” He says softly. He shuts your car door for you and then ruffles around in the back seat before opening your car door again and wrapping you up in a warm blanket.

“I have this stashed for emergencies, seems like the right time to use it.” He states, fussing over you making sure you’re completely covered by the blanket.

New tears well in your eyes, your heart spilling out of you, it’s all too much. The whiplash of the argument with Eddie and Violet and now Steve being the sweetest man in the world to you. As if you aren’t the worst person to ever exist. You didn’t deserve this, you should be locked away for your crimes . Not wrapped up in a blanket and handled with care, it wasn’t fair to Eddie or Violet.

“We really were going to tell her, ya know? And- and I didn’t mean for things to happen with Eddie after we kissed, it just happened. It’s all so messy and it’s all my fault, I fucked it all up!” You sob.

Steve looks back at you mournfully.

“I know, honey, I know,” he says softly.

The two of you sit in some more silence while you cry, then you feel his warm hand start rubbing little circles into your back, which only makes you sob harder, but even so, you find yourself leaning into his touch. Leaning into any type of comfort, your heart hurt too much, you couldn’t take it, you need it to go away.

Eventually, you stop crying and Steve gets in the driver side to drive you home, you just look out the window, allowing your body to thaw under the blanket. You eventually give Steve directions to your apartment, and go back to looking out the window, your eyes getting heavier and heavier the longer you were sitting wrapped in your blanket cocoon.

When you wake, you hear the car door opening and feel Steve’s strong arms scoop you against his chest. You smell his intoxicating cologne; you hadn’t smelled it in so long, but it awoken something in you. You blinked slowly, taking in your surroundings. He had not taken you home, to your lonely apartment filled with the memories of you and Eddie. Instead, you were being carried through the front door of his house and entering a very familiar foyer. Steve sets you down on a comfy couch in a room you assume is the living room.

You stare at him in confusion, your brain fogged over from tonight’s events. He looks a little nervous, his knee bouncing up and down.

“Uh sorry, you fell asleep, and I didn’t like the idea of you going home and being by yourself. I can still take you home if you’d like, I just I dunno...I was worried about you,” he confesses, his honey brown eyes staring up at you expectantly.

You wipe away the sleep and the dried tears from your eyes, you sit up sorely, your body punishing you for sitting on the hard pavement for so long. You feel more vulnerable than you’d like to admit, in Steves house with barely any clothes on. You rub your arms trying to soothe yourself, wrapping yourself up tighter in Steves blanket.

“Thank you” you squeak, your voice hoarse from crying so much. He smiles slightly and nods, scratching the back of his neck before he speaks next.

“You’re welcome to stay...if you’d like, I have plenty of guest rooms for you to sleep in. No pressure though,” he says hurriedly.

You mull over his offer, the idea of staying over made your stomach feel sick with guilt but also burn with curiosity. Then you thought again about getting back in his car, and going back home to your apartment, alone with your thoughts, replaying tonight’s events over and over again.

“If it’s alright with you... I think I’d like to stay,” you say meekly, fidgeting with your hands.

The anxiety on Steve’s face diminishes, nodding at you eagerly. “Please, mi casa es su casa,” he gestures to his house and chuckles lightly to clear the air.

You look at him gratefully, the two of you make some light small talk before he gives you the grand tour of the house. He explains it used to be his parents’ house before they moved to Florida after his dad retired. He went on to tell you that he wasn’t very close with his parents, they always resented him for never marrying or having any kids of his own. You felt even more guilty now, not only had Steve left his job because of you, but that meant more time stuck in this house, thinking about what a disappointment he is to his parents. The self-pity spiral is starting to grow bigger and bigger inside your head once again, the spell only broken when Steve puts his hand on your back, and your mind goes silent.

Focusing on the warmth and pressure his hand is leaving on your back. In contrast to all the shitty things that happened this evening, you’re allowing yourself this one nice thing. It reminded you of simpler times, when you just had a little crush on your sociology professor, before the kiss, before everything with Eddie. You remember the first time he put his hand on your back, it was the first day you went into his office when he helped you take care of that parking ticket. You remember how your insides twisted and turned with excitement. Then, when you became his TA, it was something you looked forward to when the two of you were alone together.

“And this is one of the many guest bedrooms, feel free to pick anyone you like there’s plenty to choose” he states cheerfully.

Steve shows you the rest of the house, your mind boggled by how big the house really is, castle might be a better word for it.

Steve escorts you towards one of the many bathrooms on the second floor leaving you alone to shower and freshen up, the bathroom stocked with the fluffiest towels you’ve ever felt in your entire life. The guest bathroom alone seemed bigger than your whole apartment. You let the hot water envelop you, hugging every part of your body.

You sit on the cold tiles of the shower, trying to figure out what to do. You think about Violet first, the person who ha been your best friend for as long as you can remember, the only one who has always been in your corner, now gone. You feel tears at the edges of your very sore eyes. Then you think of Eddie, the sweetest guy to ever exist, and the only one to ever make you feel worthy of love.

How did you fuck this up so badly?

You let a few more tears fall, meeting the warm water down the drain. You rub your eyes, the skin around your eyes raw from all the crying, you can’t remember the last time you cried this much. It made you feel so small and fragile, like if someone breathed at you the wrong way, you’d crumble into a million pieces. You let a few more tears fall before you take a deep breath and finish your shower. You shake away your thoughts, thinking about how differently this day had started versus how it was ending, everything taken away from you so quickly.

You were grateful for Steves kindness, it felt nice to not be in your apartment. To be away from the mess you had made, you could almost allow yourself to forget.. almost.

When you walk into the guest bedroom you see a pair of plaid boxers and a big grey t-shirt left on the bed for you, you pick up the t-shirt laid out before you and bring it up to your nose. Your shoulders relax as the scent fills your nostrils. The scent of Steve, not even his cologne, just him. It made your brain dizzy. Once you finish getting dressed you hear a knock on the door.

“Come in!” you call out. Steve emerges from the other side of the door, holding a glass of water and a bottle of Tylenol. He shakes the bottle in his hand and comes to sit next to you on the bed.

“Oh gosh Thank you so much” you say gratefully taking the glass of water and taking two Tylenol.

Steve waves you off, you will be forever in awe of the way Steve is able to make anything seem like a piece of cake. He never made you feel like a burden, something you are always concerned about. It made you feel a little more at ease.

“You really didn’t have to do all this for me, it’s my own mess that I gotta figure out how to clean up, I feel bad that you went through all this trouble for me” you confess, guilt already filling your chest again. These were the consequences of your own actions, and you needed to deal with it. You think about how unfair you’ve been, not only to Eddie or Violet, but to Steve as well. None of them deserved to be caught up in your hurricane, but yet they all paid the price somehow.

“You’d do it for me...you have done it for me” he says quietly, looking at his hands.

You turn your head, studying his face, he seemed slightly embarrassed but mostly sad.

“You didn’t have to come over and check on me, especially not when I drunk texted you like an idiot. You were so kind, and I was so pathetic.” He runs his fingers through his hair, shaking his head slightly.

“Anyone would have done that Steve, really it’s okay, I didn’t mind helping. Everyone needs some help every now and again,” you say dismissing him.

“Exactly, so why don’t you take your own advice and let me help you?” he counters, sticking up one of his eyebrows in retort.

You try and find a reason, but you couldn’t think of a good one. Your brain is exhausted, you need comfort.. a hug, something.

“C’mere” Steve mumbles, opening his arms to you, like he could read your mind, but knowing you, your face doesn’t hide much. Your pain was probably written all over your face. You didn’t have anything left in you to deny yourself any longer, that left when Eddie did. You crawl into Steves arms and let out a deep breath for one of the first times tonight. He wraps his strong arms around you, the two of you sit like that for a bit. Steve never pulling away, just letting you cuddle up against him for as long as you need.

You sigh in his arms, allowing yourself to fully relax, you wrap your fingers around Steves shirt. Bringing him impossibly closer to you, taking in his intoxicating scent once again. His heartbeat against your ear warming you more than the shower did, making your body relax completely against his. After today’s events, this little bit of affection was like a drug, a drug that was filling your body with need. Desire brewing inside you, begging you to forget, pleading with you to give into your deepest needs.

You pull back from Steve's embrace, just enough to be a couple inches from his face, you could feel his breath on your cheeks. You look into his eyes, but he's not looking at you. He’s looking at your lips, you can see his brain fighting the urge to kiss you. And that diminishes the rest of your resolve, you lean in closer to his lips. Steve eagerly meets you halfway, his lips a hungry attack on your own. Not like the way he kissed you back in his office so many weeks ago, that kiss was swift and innocent. This kiss was one filled with passion and need, he grabs the back of your neck, almost like a promise to himself that he wouldn’t let you go this time. You entwine your fingers into his silky locks at the nap of his neck, pulling him closer to you. That elicits a groan from Steve, only making your need for him grow stronger. His moan makes your brain short circuit, the most primal part of you coming out of its cave, ready to play. You couldn’t even count how many nights during the start of the school year you would imagine what he sounded like, with your hand between your legs.

Steve grabs your waist and pulls you onto his lap, you mindlessly grind against his lap selfishly trying to find any type of friction against your core. You moan into each other’s mouths, a song of your combined desperation for each other. The two of you are a tangled mess of hands, lips, and tongues.

Steve grabs at the edges of your (his) shirt, pulling it up and over your head. It takes Steve no time to start his assault on your chest. Leaving open mouthed kisses on your skin, nipping and sucking on your nipples, making you grind down harder on his lap.

“Damn... you’re so fucking beautiful,” he moans into your chest, his voice making you throw your head back in pleasure, answering him with a moan of your own. His eyes wild in lust, slightly bloodshot from the previous events, but still trained on you, like you’re the only thing that mattered in the world right now. Steve's grip on you was firm but not bruising, another way he showed you how much he cared for you, even now. You hold onto his shoulders for support, grinding down faster into his lap. The head of his cock rubbing deliciously against your clit, you could feel your arousal soaking the cloth of Steve’s boxers, you’d be embarrassed if you weren’t so incredible turned on.

Wanting to see more of him you tug his shirt off too, running your hands through his dark brown chest hair.

He guides you to lay down on the bed, his weight on top of you only adding to the feeling of his cock in between your folds. You moan loudly, pushing your hips against his, the pleasure building deep inside you.

“You sound so pretty baby, so so pretty” Steve praises you, leaving little kisses along your pulse point. He makes his way down your body, leaving kisses on every open patch of skin he could find. Reaching the hem of his boxers hanging lowly on your waist, looking up at you, his eyes asking permission to move forward with his thought. You nod your head quickly, in your hazy state you’d probably let him do about anything to you right now. He leaves a kiss right below your belly button as a thank you as he slides of your (his) boxers, pushing your legs open to fully expose yourself to him.

Steve lets out a pained moan, spreading your lips, inspecting every inch of your center like it was painted my da Vinci himself.

“Jesus christ baby, look at you.. soo wet” He admires, barely audible to you, almost like he was talking to himself. Steve leaves chaste kisses on your thighs, making them slightly in anticipation. Finally Steve licks a long stripe from your center to your clit, flicking your clit with the point of his tongue.

“Fuck Steve oh-oh my god,” you whimper, you were already so needy and you barely started.

Steve goes to town like a man starved, if it didn’t feel so damn good, you’d be worried that he wasn’t coming up for air. His tongue darting expertly in and out of your core, his handsomely pointed nose rubbing up against your clit making you see stars.

Your legs threaten to close, unable to hold them open any longer, smushing Steve's face. His hands guide your thighs open wider than before, getting impossibly closer to your heat. Your body hurtling embarrassingly fast towards your release already, you grab a fist full of his hair to steady yourself.

Free of consequences, and pain, it’s ecstasy.

Steve moans deliciously into your core, the vibration sending another wave of pleasure down your spine, rolling your hips into his face.

“H-holy shitt, look at you baby, makin’ such a mess for me, such a good girl,” he coos at you, making you clench around nothing. The whole bottom half of his face glistening with your arousal, not that it seemed to bother Steve. He looked like a kid in a fucking candy store, greedily sucking, nipping, and licking every drop you gave him. He’s a man possessed.

With every lick of Steve’s tongue, you were getting closer and closer to pure bliss. The headboard behind you rocking back and forth against the wall obnoxiously, you look down below you to see Steve's hips rocking against the mattress as he was buried deep in between your legs. What a fucking sight.

He's so pretty

That image alone brings you right at the edge, your hips grinding fervently against his face, your combined moans filling the room

“Yeah, right there, fuck right fucking there!” you wail.

His hands tighten around your thighs, doubling down between your folds.

“Fuck Fuck Fuck I’m gonnna... I’m gonna cum!” you scream as your vision whites out and euphoria floods your system. Your ears ringing, the only thing you can hear is the mixed moans of you and Steve. Your on cloud nine, your brain thanking you, your mind clear of Eddie and Violet, only Steve. Steve's hands, mouth, lips, tongue, everything Steve.

Once you come down from your high, you look at Steve hungrily, sitting up to capture his lips with yours. Your release tangy on his tongue. He wraps his arms around you, smooshing you back onto the bed.

“Your turn” you say with a smirk, flipping him over onto his back.

“Uh.. no need” Steve says sheepishly, looking down at the wet spot that formed in his grey sweatpants. Your mouth hung open in an “O” shape. Steve just came from eating you out

… holy shit...

“Holy shit” you say, your eyes unable to move from the mess he made in his pants.

“Yeah, holy shit” he chimes in, clearly a little embarrassed by his actions. You didn’t want him to be embarrassed, he had no need to be. He is just one of the sexiest men alive that’s all, no big deal. You look up at him with lust still in his eyes, and lean over his mess. You leave open mouth kisses on the fabric, licking lightly with your tongue. You taste bits of Steve's release, making you moan wishing for more.

“Jesus- Fuck!” Steve hisses, his hips buckle at the sensation, still sensitive from his climax. You look back up at him innocently, giving him a light kiss on the cheek.

“What am I gonna do with you, you naughty girl” he smirks, shaking his head back and forth. The question hanging uncomfortable in the air...

What the fuck were the two of you going to do? What the fuck was that?

Eventually the two make your way to the bathroom, Steve leaves momentarily to change into different pants and leaves you to clean yourself. Upon his return he brought you a new pair of boxers and you thank him gratefully. The other pair completely pathetically soiled.

Looking at Steve post orgasm should be its own art exhibit, his grey-brown hair messy from being pulled and tugged, his eyes still slightly blown in lust, his lips pink, and his chest delightfully bare. How could he get even more beautiful? You wished your mind to take a picture to remember this.

Steve walks you back to your room and sits next to you on the bed, so many unsaid words hung in the air. Firstly, you didn’t want Steve to think this was some kind of a rebound, of course it felt good, but you had been wanting Steve since the first day he set foot in the classroom. Then there was Eddie, your wound still fresh from your breakup. You really do care for Eddie, he was the best boyfriend you’ve ever had, but that didn’t diminish your feelings for Steve. You knew that if Eddie found out about what the two of you had done, you’d just hurt him even more than you already have. You stomach started twisting in knots, the mess you made growing bigger by the hour bringing in more casualties. Your brain is even more confused than it was a few hours ago, if that��s even possible.

“This doesn’t have to be a thing, you know? We don’t have to talk about it ever again. Scouts honor,” He confesses, smiling warmly at you.

“I’m so sorry Steve, I didn’t mean for this to happen, I- I don’t know what happened, I just...”

“You’re sorry? I should be the one who’s apologizing, I feel like a fucking monster. You were a little drunk, and so was I, and I didn’t stop it even though I should have. You don’t have to explain yourself to me at all Y/N, okay?” he interrupts.

You feel some tension leaving your shoulders, although you didn’t think it was Steve’s fault at all. But all the energy you had to argue with him, had been squashed by the orgasm Steve so wonderfully gifted to you, your body now beyond exhausted, begging you for sleep. You bring your knees up to your chest and yawn.

“Okay Stevie,” you say, your eyes fluttering, fighting to stay open.

Steve smiles warmly at the nickname, “Alright, well I’ll let you get some rest, I’m just down the hall if you need anything”

You watch Steve get up and walk towards the door, anxiety filling your head watching him leave. You didn’t want him to go. You remember how nice his arms felt around you not an hour ago, and how calm your brain is when he’s around.

“Steve?” you say barely audible.

“Yeah?” he says his eyes showing a hint of concern and anticipation.

“Stay with me?” you beg pathetically. You know its not right, you know you shouldn’t want him, or crave him. What about Eddie, what about fucking Eddie. But your heart ached with the thought of sleeping so close but so far from him, the need for him ached deep inside your bones.

Silence fills the room, the two of you looking at each other, knowing the answer to your question could change everything. You open your mouth saying you’ve changed your mind, feeling stupid again for the hundredth time tonight.

But as you’re about to say something, Steve closes the door and sits next to you on the bed. Steve's eyes are tired, you look at the clock next to you and it’s nearly 5 am, Steve had the patience of a god. You let out the breath you were holding, the bubble of anxiety dissipating from your chest.

“Go on, get comfy, I know you’re exhausted” Steve orders, motioning towards the covers. You wrap yourself up under the very expensive looking blankets, Steve tugging the blankets up higher making sure you were comfy before settling in behind you. He envelops you with his arms, pulling you closer, your back now flush with his chest and your head resting comfortable under his. Steve is so warm, like the sun, filling your body with its heat, your eyes eyes getting heavy. He rubs soothing circles into your bare skin that’s open to him.

“’s this okay?” he breathes quietly into your ear.

“Yeah.. perfect,” you whisper, alright on the verge of sleep.

Dreamland finds you not long after, the dull ache in your chest soothed by the warmth of Steve’s body next to you in bed.

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spikesbimbo · 4 years ago

Text

Cloud 39

Pairing: Aran Ojiro x f!eader

Tags; big strong greek god aran (like 7ft tall in his human form), sacrilegious undertones(?), oral sex f!receiving, body worship f!receiving, possessive tendencies, size kink, anal fingering spit, snowballing, dacryphilia, choking, kinda angst at the end

wc:4k

a/n: happy birthday to my man!! And thank you for help with the header pic !!! @selfishwitch

18+ Minors DNI

Your body splayed out across his, arms wrapped around his neck while his large hands held you close, leaning into him as you didn't care anymore, finding comfort in his warm body and cozy scent.

The warm air putting you at ease, eyes peeking out to see the many flowers bloom before you. If you were to die you'd rather do it here than the place you called home. So dark and dreary, always so foggy and gloomy, but here the sun was always shining though the clouds, golden light shining alluringly onto his skin, a place fit for a king.

“Aran, sweetheart.” His honey-like voice breaking you out of your trance. “That’s my name, so why don't you say it? His tall frame leaning into yours, head craning down into your neck as his eyes meet yours before you could look away. “I already told you that you could, are you still scared of me?

“N-no, i ju-. I'm just…. nervous.” You softly stammered out, quickly divertering your eyes from his, afraid you'd get lost in them as you adjusted yourself on his thigh. Legs dangling on the other side as you tried your hardest to ignore his almost naked body. His ivory robe wrapped loosely around one of his broad shoulders, and tied around his slim waist, not looking like he cared if it fell off.

“You okay? You look a little dazed. Don't worry love, m’not gonna eat you up like they said I would.”

“wh-” As if he read your mind, rumors spreading around your town. Never thinking you would get selected to be his yearly offering, your ‘family’ quickly throwing you away to appease the gods.

His hands covered in gold up to his arms rested on your back, taking up the whole space as his thumb worked its way up and down, not knowing if he was making sure you wouldn't fall from so high up, or reassuring you.

”So,” you started, halting your words. Anxious feeling filling up in your chest as reality set it, remembering you were a sacrifice and not just his companion.

“So what?” he continued, leading you on. Summery eyes still set on you as if he was watching your every move, feeling so little and insignificant under him. Clinging onto him like a child as the fact remained in your head, ‘he could drop you if he wanted’. His realm towering over your city and town, trees looking like grass as you finally got the courage to look down.

“What are you going to do with me?”

“What am i going to do with you?” He lightly chuckled into your temple, teeth smiling white as the clouds his throne was resting high above, skin glowing as his eyelashes fluttered so heavenly, the most beautiful thing you've ever laid your eyes on.

He looked like an angel.

“Whatever you want love, m’not going to make you to do anything you don't want to.”

“What do you mean ‘don't want to’?

“I mean sex pretty girl, fornicating. You ever heard of it?” He joked as your face curled up into his chest.

“Y-yes I have!” you stated loudly, quickly trying to cover up. Embarrassment rising in your face at the thought of doing it with him, not wanting to make a fool out of yourself even more.

“So what happened to the others?’ You said trying to get your mind off of it, hoping he didn't notice the way you were squirming on his lap.

“The others?....” Seeing what you meant click in his head as he tilted it. “They can choose whether they want to or not, then I send them on their way. Why my love?” A smirk appraising on his face, heat rising in your body at the word ‘my’.

“You thought I drained them dry and burned them up? The tease in his voice had you flustered, “Unfortunately, humans' heads always come up with the worst thoughts, fear always plaguing in the back of their mind. Even going as far as to do this.” knowing he was referring to you.

“Probably because they're not immortal.” You muttered under your breath, remembering the first time you've ever seen a god in real life. Playing with them as a child, not knowing the difference until one day you were running around in a storm, no one caring to tell you that the violent winds would knock your tiny body off its feet.

Meeting them at the usual place, the cliff on the coast of the ocean, dancing in the rain with no cares in the world until they stumbled, fear replacing the untroubled, joyful look in your eyes as you saw them fall off the rock. Body moving on its own before you knew it, reaching your hand out, but it was too late, both of your bodies falling many meters down onto the jagged waves and rocks below.

Grateful that you loved the water, as your body once again moved on its own, muscle memory making you break the surface of the water, voice immediately screaming out for your friend as soon as you caught your breath.

Not even knowing you were injured until you saw the red stain surrounding you, eyes burning from the salt and the heavy rain drops landing in them as you tried your best to keep them open. Catching a glance of your only friend washed up on the shore, head bloody as they were limp above the sand.

Doing your best to swim up to them as your leg could barely move, finally crawling up to them with all your strength, almost gagging at the sight before you. Head cracked open as your trembling little hands did their best to put it back together, shock overtaking you as their eyes suddenly opened, standing up like nothing happened. Comforting you as they saw you were a shaking mess, asking why you were still bleeding , not knowing the divide between you until that day.

Coming home to your family berating you, saying at least it wasn't your face, knowing they could still marry you off for money. Afraid of death due to that day along with heights, never going above sea level again. Scared by just the thought of it, the reminder scaring you mind, but of course fate would turn out this way, sadly laughing at the thought.

Again as if he could read your mind, his hand traced your damaged skin, understanding your thoughts and comforting you at the same time. Lucky you got sent to such a man, no, a god. Glad to let him use you as he needed, the only one who's ever cared enough to listen to you in your life.

Letting a little whine out as his hand brushed your inner thigh, involuntary jerking in his hold, grinding against him as you felt him grow harder against your back. "Can I?" he asked, eyes laced with need.

Remembering that this was the usual for him, remembering that you were just his plaything at the end of the day. Lip quivering as your eyes fluttered closed, unsteady hands moving towards your hips, pushing your tiny little makeshift skirt to the side, almost matching his.

"Stop."

You froze in place. His hands meeting yours, pushing them to the side. Standing up as he took you off his lap, setting you back down. Him resting below you as he gently grabbed your jaw, burning cheeks cooling down. "Look at me, " His soft voice said in a tone that didn't take "no" for an answer. “Look me in the eyes while I undress you.”

Letting go of your jaw as you listened, his hands moving; pulling off the sash around your waist, the ghost of his touch making you shiver. Eyes locked with his as his head rested on your chest, undoing the knots on your shoulders, the sigh of the top melting off of you. Clothes pooling around your ankles, nipples growing hard at the open air.

"-don't hide yourself."

HIs soft voice coming out in a command, not knowing if you even had control over your body anymore. Shyly lowering your arms, body exposed. The feeling being new, the first man to ever make your heart race this violently, his touch lingering on you.

He was the god and yet here you were getting worshiped, on his knees before you as you were on his throne, large calloused hands resting the weight of your legs as he spread them open, placing open mouthed from your ankles up to your thighs, lips following the scar, almost trying to prove a point, that this was the only difference between you two.

Trying to muffle your moans, skin so sensitive to the touch. His hand feeling like fire moving up to your cheek, thumbing it before tracing his finger over your lips. Freeing them from your teeth, wiping away the blood as he brung it back to his lips.

Not knowing that you were the only one could ignite such reactions from him in such a short time, making him the greediest he's ever been. Defying his own logic, becoming a hypocrite by wanting to snatch you up and lock you away, keeping you all to himself. Not even asking if you were anyone else’s before his hands roamed all over your body, not even waiting to find out. Knowing right now he'd probably snap and take their lives for touching something that was his.

His.

The thought sounding nice in his head, spreading the rest of you short lived life with him. Waking up to see your pretty, entrancing smile every morning, knowing he could easily get his way. Wanting to hear his name fall from your pretty lips, your voice so sweet and soft, wanting to make you feel relaxed enough to not call him the formalities that he's never believed in.

Stopping before your entrance, wanting to drag it out to make you completely crumble into his arms, working for it as he should.

His hands encompassing your tits, soft lips following him as well taking your nipple between his teeth after leaves countless kisses on them. Groping and squeezing the other one as his tongue flicked your nipple back and forth, so hot and wet, finally getting you to release those pretty whimpers he knew you had as he once again towered over you.

His free hand resting on the side of your tummy making it twist, feeling so small and puny under his lust filled gaze as his cold eyes turned warm after meeting yours.

Lowering himself onto his knees once again, releasing your tit with a lewd, wet pop sound, body shaking as he placed his face right in front of your aching cunt. The tip of his tongue parting your slit, kissing it so passionately. Kissing everywhere but your clit, licking and sucking every part of your body but the part that needed it most, so neglected that just his breath could make you cum, not even being touched.

Hips trying to best to grind, to get any kind of friction as his hands held you down, not even seeing him flex his muscles to do so, remembering that the only thing you were ever told you were good for had all the attention of a man of power that could take out as many people as he wanted. Sitting back and relaxing the best you could, wanting to be good for him as he'd been to you.

Letting out a squeal as his nose touched your clit, trying your best to not cum as he let out a chuckle, sighing as he pulled away. “Guess I need to move further huh? Needy little thing.” He whispered into you. The soft tease from his voice making you clench around nothing, ashamed that you got off on the power difference, referring to you as a thing, as humans were just pests in the gods eyes.

Knowing he definitely saw as he was still on his knees, hands moving to cover your face. Not knowing if his ego could get any bigger but he swore it did, having you right in the palm of his hand. Thumbs parting your folds as his fingers teased your entrance, whimpers leaving your cracked lips as you tried to muffle them with your hands, teeth sinking into your flesh once again.

“You want my fingers, pretty girl?” he asked, voice thick and deep from arousal as he watched you lift your hips, unable to answer as you face contort in a whine.

“....Got it.”

So pliable as you easily gave way thanks to him. His middle finger stretching you out, the feeling so hot as he was curling it inside of you, finding out your body with ease like a second nature to him. Growing uncomfortable as your thighs were getting sticky and wet, feeling spaced out and dizzy at just his finger. Worried about how you were going to take him, pushing it to the back of your head because you were here for his pleasure, not yours.

Rubbing your clit in circles faster until you're coming all over his hand, dripping onto the seat under you. A sob escaping your lips as he doesn't stop, fingers continuing to thrust into you, stopping once he's had his fun with you.

“Came so pretty for me.” He cooed, admiring your already so blissfully fucked out state.

Raising his soaked lips to yours, spitting your own cum into your mouth as he pushed his tongue in there. Lapping it up as your mind went foggy, legs beginning to tremble while he wrapped his other arm around you, pulling away.

“Just hang on, you're being so good, so good for me, ” Moaning as his fingers replaced his tongue.

“Shh, don’t worry, I’ve got you,” He murmured, trying his best to control his voice while looking at the sight of you lying there, eyes fluttering as they rolled back.

“Its getting dark, love.” he said breaking the silence. Picking up your limp body, bare as the day you were born, muttering out, “I'm taking you to my home.” The sun shining less, sky getting a deeper shade. Seeing the marble and stone pillars surrounding you while he closed the sheer curtains, slightly blocking your view as he set you down on the plush bedding.

“m’gonna make it dirty…” you whispered, legs shifting as you thighs slid together.

Not being able to care less, wanting you and your body so wet and needy for him that he'd need a new one. “I don’t care, my love. Just lay there for me, okay?”

Watching as you crawled to the center of his bed, letting your body collapse. Legs opening as your back arched as, face landing in between the soft ivory pillows. Gritting his teeth moving lower, lifting your thighs up. Moving them out of the way to bury his face into the softness of your ass. Running his thumb down your clit, so swollen as you twitched underneath his finger.

Placing kisses across your ass, the tip of his fingers making their way into your holes, trailing his mouth over your slit. Choking out with a whine embarrassingly loud as you arched your back even more. “Not today my love, wanna see your pretty face right now, wanna see it twist and turn.”

Flipping you over, placing featherlight kisses all over your face down to your shoulder. The jewelry was the only thing remaining on his skin, his robe discarded to the side. The gold complementing his perfect body on display for you as he reached over to the stand, grabbing a jug of wine.

“C’mere”, wrapping his arm around your middle, pulling you up chest to chest with him, feeling his heartbeat as your head looked up to him. “Drink some,”

Your head resting on his hand as it was tilted back, taking a slow sip from it, some slipping past your lips, falling down onto your chest. The burning feeling making you antsy and jitterish.

“Don't worry, I got you.” Not giving you a chance to respond as he pulled the bottle back.

Tongue tracing the red and purple liquid, lips taking their time moving up from your stomach to your chest, kissing every part of your body that was stained. Taking your nipple into his mouth once again, sucking the wine off of your breasts while you were squirming under his touch.

He grins, sucking and rolling it between his teeth, his fingers teasing the other. The stinging feeling he left behind as he moved on from your neck, finally reading your mouth, thumb tracing them before pouring more wine into your mouth, this time catching it before it spilled, lips meeting yours as he kissed you drunk.

His smile was thoroughly charmed, not just the liquid he was savoring, but your nerves and humiliation were being swallowed up too. “You trust me?” His teeth shining under the moonlight, the glow looking like a halo around him. Nodding out a simple “yeah.”.

The heat radiating off of him as he hovered over you, your skin erupting in goosebumps as the warmth grew in the small space between you two. His lips meeting yours slow and controlled, still full of greed and passion while his hands roamed over your body with need.

“S’gonna hurt, love.” he muttered, trying to hold back a groan as his tip barely made its way in, legs spread as far as he could get them. Locked around his waist as he wanted so desperately to bury himself in your soft chest, but the thought of missing your face pulled him away.

“Fuck…”

The feeling of finally sliding his cock into you is unlike anything he's ever felt in his long life. Letting out a gasp of breath as he groaned above you, sinking you down pitilessly onto his cock. His hands ‘gently’ gripping your waist, your knuckles turning white as they clenched onto the fabric underneath you. “...hurts”

“Shh… s’okay. You’re doing so good, feel so good. So wet for me, gonna fuck you so good, love. Gonna make you cum over and over again, gonna fill you up.” he cooed, hands finally settling onto your thighs, resting there as he waited for you to get used to his length. The burning feeling quickly growing numb at the thought of not being enough for him, tears welling up in your eyes at the pain and need.

“a-aran.”

He leans in closer to you, pride blooming in his chest, pressing your sweaty and slick covered body into his. “Hm, love. You okay?”

Nodding hesitantly while your eyes look over his shoulder. “m’not gonna break. I- wa-. No… I need you.”

Kissing your forehead to control himself. “I know you won’t, what d'ya you want?” Wanting to confirm what he thought he heard, hands getting impatient.

“Want you to fuck me, want you to use me,” The needy whine of your voice going straight to his cock.

White shining through his lips. “ I got you, love,” he said leaning back, taking a firmer grip on the top of your hips so he can slam back into you. Voice shattering as you squeal, back curving while your body tires to run away at his brutal pace. The sound of his balls wetly slapping against your ass and his hot breath are the only things you could hear.

“Ah, ara- cant , I-I-, can--” His face beaming at the incoherent words coming from between your lips, knowing he was dumb fucking you dumb. One of his hands moving from your thigh, up to the base of your neck pushing your head down into the pillow.

“Feels good? Gonna tell me how much you love my cock?” He groaned, hips getting faster.

“I--ah, hngh, ara-, I-- it f-feels so good, ah, so good--” Your eyes fluttering shut, trying to stop your tears. “Hngh, p-please,...ple-!”

“Please what baby? ya’ gotta tell me, or i won't know.” he taunted. Slowing his thrusts down with his pent up effort, making you miss the feeling of his cock bruising your walls.

“please, wanna cum, ple-, ngh, w-wan-, please, I--” You whimpered, hands reaching up to his chest, nails leaving imprints behind, nervousness overcoming your face that you left a mark on a god

His eyebrows furrowing as he leans into you. “Fuck, I’m gonna make you mine,” he breathed heavily into your ear. “I’m gonna show everyone, show the whole world below us who owns you. Who’s the only one who can fuck you like this baby, who can have you cross eyed just from the tip, huh? Tell me.”

“You!” you sobbed, more focused on meeting him halfway, more desperate for his cock, than answering him.

His tight grip on your hips, keeping you from kicking and jerking. “Huh? What was that?” He whispered, fucking you like he was competing for you.

“Im gon-, m’gonna cum.” Body jiggling under him as his frame blocked your view, the only thing your eyes could see was him.

“You just take it, don’t you love? You take my cock like that's all you were made for. You gonna cum for me, pretty girl? Gonna cum on my cock? You gonna let me stuff you full?

Vision going black and starry, head drowning as your body felt like it was floating. Feeling him shove himself into, whining as he let out a sinful moan. “Fuck. m’so close. So close because of you, such a good girl, ” Body shaking as he fucked you into overstimualtion, grinding against your clit with each thrust.

“Mine, all mine.”

Hips stuttering and stalling as his balls were flush against your ass. Spilling inside of you and digging your fingers into his arms. Cock still hard even after you clenched around it, cumming onto him again and the bed sheets beneath you with a choked out moan.

Thighs trembling as your body was so eased, sleepy and content. Focusing on the feeling of him stretching you out, and the internal feeling as making him proud. Slowly relaxing until he flipped you over on top of him, laying down. His cock slipping slightly out, the feeling of his warm cum escaping leaving you painfully empty.

Collapsing on top of him after your body gave out entirely. Only being able to breath as you felt his hand rest on your lower back. Turning your head to see his eyes closed, seemingly as worn out as you. The night sky being painted in the background, wondering how long you've been at it.

But as your mind came back to yourself, you realized that you would never be his no matter what the circumstances. Closing your eyes one last time after admiring his face for what sempt like hours, the comfortableness growing as you drifted off to sleep in his big warm arms. Knowing that he'd be more than likely gone when you woke up, wiping your tears one last time.

You’d done your part.

494 notes · View notes

userpurple · 3 years ago

Note

Yes that was the photo!! Idk how people live in nyc, it seems like the weather gets so unbearable at times. Ill definitely check out the asmr, ive been looking for new channels to watch anyways! Yeah it sucks that acnh needs a switch, but imo its the best animal crossing game Nintendo has put out so far. I also used to play guitar! Ive lost the calluses on my fingers though so now whenever I play it hurts haha. I totally get the movie thing. I have a habit of choosing video essays on YouTube over movies, even though a lot of the video essays I watch are movie length. Make it make sense brain???? I probably should’ve guessed you liked frozen 2 by your header! It was such a gorgeous movie. What are your favorite kinds of edits to make? - pixel ☕️

hellow again pixel! yup it's sad that animal crossing needs a switch but you know what? i'm gonna go watch gameplays on yt XD like, the ones that record everything right from the very start hehe i've been doing that for genshin impact lately :D

ugh tell me about the calluses! i feel like all string instruments require you to constantly touch them at least once every day if you wanna play them without crying from the burns on your fingertips lmao.

oooo video essays sound interesting! what are they? and yes i did love frozen 2! though i think the plot line didn't make much sense. i watched the disney+ documentary on how they made it and it was just absolute chaos and rushing lol. but i didn't mind that much honestly bc for me the key focus was on how visually STUNNING the animation & graphics were!! especially as an editor and gif-maker, the color palettes were inspiring af + great for enhancing color theory <3 what was your favorite scene/moment from the movie? mine was elsa battling the dark sea and the water horse!

ahhhh favorite edits to make that's hard bc there are so many!! but i'll give you some of my current ones:

i love making edits based around b&w, vintage minimalism and monochrome themes. obviously, with these concepts less is more and i'm something of a minimalist myself. also i love the challenge :) @ikraar is honestly a b&w queen and mist just constantly inspires me!

handwriting edits! this is a rather recent obsession kslhakljskallf i just love the idea of overlaying your handwriting on a picture it’s just so charming??

collages but i’ve only made one so far for a friend’s birthday (it was my first time trying! i was proud with how it turned out) and for collages nat/miss marshmallow @ohh-goddamn has my absolute mad respect she just rules that category!!

the final one is posters and redesigns of anything from a movie, tv show or album! this type is probably the one i do most cause it’s what comes the most naturally to me. i’ve been making edits for years, starting with good ol’ picsart and working my way up to photoshop (@magnusedom @cheddarthefluffyboi and @deepika-padukone are my gurus). i like that i can sit in front of a blank canvas on my laptop and just conceptualize the design as i go <3

final one is simple hehe. any edit that lets me use the film grain filter or overlays :’)

what about you? what are your favorite movies? are you a content creator on here as well?

#asks #anon asks #answered #secret santa (taylor's version)#lol i think this is my biggest answer yet

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jaefmin · 3 years ago

Text

Treat you better | N.Jm

Treat you better - Na Jaemin

↳ Pairing: caretaker!Jaeminx fem!reader [sick!reader]

↳ Genre: fluff, angst, fever, humor (if you notice mine😭), friend!au, anxiety, childhood!friends, tattooed!Jaemin sadlkf they don't even kiss-

↳ Synopsis: It's your stupid, ugly and imperfect body that's giving up right before attending an important meeting with your boss. This could give you a promotion, but your body's in a state to just lay in bed all day. Will you be able to get to the meeting?

↳ WC: 2.7k

Header made by: @vantaengelic Go follow my baby rn!!

↳ Pairing: caretaker!Jaeminx fem!reader [sick!reader]

↳ Genre: fluff, angst, fever, humor (if you notice mine😭), friend!au, anxiety, childhood!friends, tattooed!Jaemin sadlkf they don't even kiss-

↳ WC: 2.7k

Ajdjksj- why dId I mAkE tHe syNoPsIs sO cLIcHé

@intokook 🙃🙃

As soon as you're about to pass out from exhaustion, someone knocks at your room's door. Not now. Please. You're barely left with the energy to open your eyes. Your eyelids feel heavy, but soon lift up wide awake when the person enters your room. Those usual creaky sounds of the doors reach your ears only to make you quiver, and, you're blessed with a sight of a pale faced man, hair neatly arranged on his face with a worried expression. Your eyes fall on the man's outfit, a pair of cargos, with a black shirt covering his torso. His facial features seem pleasuring- beautiful orbs with round specs, muscular hands, and beautiful tattoos on them. You immediately recognize the man by his tattoos, and he seems to recognize you too. His appearance disgusts you now that you've realized him. But it's too late to analyze and hate the man in front of you more deeply. Before knowing anything more, you fall asleep.

You feel a hard splash on your face, and in seconds, and you're wide awake. A chill runs down your spine and you begged for the person to have thrown warm water on you. Your eyes witness a standing Jaemin, with a mug of water in his hands. His tattoos attract your eyes towards them, and you can't help but stare at them. "So this is how long it takes to wake you up? I've been shaking you for the past half hour and you are like some big old chimpanzee that doesn't feel anything when an ant's trying to move it." Jaemin baffles. "Hey!" You stammer "Anyways, why are you here?" You ask back. It was oddly strange of Jaemin to be here. "Some man called Jaehyun sent me here. I'm originally taking care of old sick people in an old-age home, but Jaehyun told me about your situation. Trust me, I didn't expect it to be you." Jaemin explained in a high tone. He paused a bit after a comeback again. "And If your condition's hell, then didn't you think of paying the doctor a visit?" His tone seemed like he was sick because of you, and he was criticizing you for even breathing. "That's not how you talk to a sick person." You stood up in your defense "Yeah yeah. 'Sweetie, would you like to visit the doctor? 'Cause I really think we should go there.'" Jaemin mocked you, and you could really see the same young, frustrated Jaemin in him. "You haven't changed at all, have you?"

Jaemin made sure you were seated properly in the car. He drove the seatbelt around you and continued to the driver's seat. He turned on the heater, and asked "So, what's wrong? When did you get your fever?" His tone seemed to have calmed a little bit. "Yesterday night. I had a headache, the night was full of surprises every hour." You replied to him in a voice low pitched. "Don't worry we'll get you all fine. And Jaehyun told me that you had a really important meeting... Or something like that? Would you like to tell me more about it?" Jaemin asked. "Oh yeah, there's a personal meet my boss wants to host with me. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have exaggerated it, only if it wasn't in Vegas." You ended with a sad tone, knowing that you'll never make it in there. And losing your job... for another season of hunger games until you get the next one. You sighed. "Don't worry sweetheart. I'll take you there." Jaemin boldly let out.

"No need to worry Y/N. You're absolutely fine. It's just a viral. All those bacteria are kinda fighting inside your tummy, and you've gotta let the good one win and then bam! Y/N's all back!" Jaemin exclaimed. "Which one's the good one?" You ask him only to have been receiving a weird reply from him. At first, he stammered a bit, and then let out. "Not like you're gonna go and dance with pom-poms inside your tummy to cheer them up. Do you even know how much Jaehyun exaggerated it?" He immediately changed the subject. He kept on talking, and indistinct sounds entered in your ears as you were in your own world, lost, thinking something. Although a smile did appear on your face upon hearing Jaehyun's name, and how he'd taken care of you. He was the best colleague ever, and you had your own little crush on him.

"J-Jaemin?"

"Yes?"

"I really need to clean up my bedroom. You've witnessed how soiled it is. Would you mind doing that for me?"

"While you will...?"

"...Watch the telly?"

......

"Alright, JUST because you're sick. Keep in mind I don't really be so kind to people like you. I hate those years when you're in your twenties. A big judgmental couch potato stuck to your screen."

"Well, you are in your twenties?" You replied after calculating a bit. "Not for long." Jaemin replied. "A decade passes like this." He snapped his fingers to indicate how the years pass, and you seemed to be fascinated with his answers. You knew the old Jaemin, the one that used to bully you in high school, but this one seems interesting. Feels like he's gotten over the series of unfortunate events that you both went across. His aura was different. The kind that would make you jump into his personality's fathomless ocean, and plunge into it. Somehow, he made you feel like he had changed a bit, but at the same time likewise the old Jaemin. The days you spent together, the fights both of you had, all those memories kept haunting you. You never forgot what he meant to you. "Earth to Y/N?" Jaemin snapped you out of your thoughts and you looked back at the tattooed man. "I'm not going to clean up your room." "What?!?! Why?!?" You stood and stared at the air, thinking what happened to your voice. It got harder, huskier, a sense of cough in it. Before you knew it, you were coughing your lungs out like crazy, and that just made Jaemin panic. He started going around in circles, and you immediately asked him to bring water because you knew he wasn't going to do that on his own. "Alright, shh calm down. Relax. Here's your pill. Have it and take rest." Jaemin shortly laid you on the bed after that. His face was on top of yours, and he was about to get your medicines to you, when you felt it coming. You were about to cough. You were trying your best to control it, but Jaemin wouldn't stop lecturing you on relaxing.

Bam.

"UGH!! GROSS Y/N!!!!!!" Jaemin's face was a masterpiece from down where you were looking from. After a couple- err well a lot of 'ewws', 'ughs', 'you're so damn gross' , 'who would want to even take care of you', he finally calmed down.

"What kind of person coughs on the face of their own caretakers?" Jaemin asked after wiping his face for the tenth time. "Face-cougher." You were all giggly and jolly before hearing that name. "Excuse me?" You said. "What's wrong, Face-cougher?" You did not like the new nickname. "You did not call me that." "Yes I just did, face-cougher." Jaemin replies and you are not staying quiet in this. "Y/N is a face-cougher!! Face-cougher!!" Jaemin started teasing and that's all you were taking.

Another bam.

And it isn't good this time too.

This time, you landed right on Jaemin. He put the couch cushions for his defense, but the anger inside you told you to throw the cushion and throttle him right away. And you decided to do that. Of course, not the whole 'throttling' part. He was quick enough to find another good defense. This one was a vessel, the one he decided to cook pasta for you in, but that never progressed further more than deciding. So, physically preparing yourself, you grabbed the spatula and dashed towards Jeno. A thought tingled inside you and you tried to push it away, but it forced you to look at it.

You're sick, Y/N.

You almost forgot about that. Your body was filled with a wave of energy to fight back. This thought didn't last too long, and not before you're outta the dreamy world and back at Jaemin. You were right above him right now. Jaemin immediately used his defense, the closed side facing towards you. You hit the vessel making a loud noise, and it sort of felt that you were getting your panic attack again. It hadn't been a long time since you knew that your spatula wouldn't last against his vessel and now you didn't even have the time to go and change again. He took the advantage of your a-bit-too-late-realization and pounced over you. "Damn it! Is this how girls are when they're sick?!?! Oh pity those male doctors!!" It was kinda weird to hear these things from a guy's mouth, but you knew what an anti-girl person Jaemin was. It reminded you of your colleague Jungkook, who had the same behavior towards girls. Jaemin's arm slipped over, and he landed right on you. There was a worried expression on his face, to get close to you again, a fear of whether you might 'bam' him or not again. He immediately held you for support, but your body was doing nothing other than feeling weak- no mood to stay strong, so you got pulled away with Jaemin. He landed on ground with his back facing it, and had you in a such a position that his body was pressed against yours. Jaemin's face was centimeters apart from yours, and it reminded you of this days when he used to hold you this close. You both stayed still in the moment, processing what just happened. He waited a while, before he stretched out his hand to cup your face. He stroked your skin with his soft hands, a feeling of shiver running down your spine. "Everything's still the same, Y/N." Jaemin muttered. "I'll be here."

"Alright, have this, you'll be fine within half an hour." Jaemin gave you a huge tablet. "Are you sure?" You asked, nervousness filling you up. "Yes, the doctor's prescribed it.'' After having the medicine, you had a nice sleep while He cleaned up your room, and you woke up around six. "Morning, sleeping beauty." Jaemin's voice was heard across the room. Its like he knew that you were going to wake up right at this moment. Freaky how he does that.

Does he have to get back the flirting mode on? You rub your eyes, and try to get up, but due to the weakness inside, you fall back. Jaemin immediately notices and rushes towards you. "Does the medicine make you feel any better?" He asks, a caring tone occupying his voice. He puts his hand under your waist and tries to get you up, the bridal style. "What are you doing!? Move!" You shove his hand away, a stiffness taking shield over your body. "What? I was helping you get up." You saw the innocence in his voice and calmed down a bit. "It's alright, I can handle that."

He gives you a perplexed look and turns to the soft toy in his hand. "Alright, but I must admit, you have a great soft toy collection." Jaemin faces you again, this time with puppy eyes.

"NO. You're not going anywhere with Dolphie. Keep it back."

He turns towards the shelf while mumbling something to himself.

...

"HEY! I'M NOT A MEANIE!"

Jaemin left the dolphin on the shelf and your eyes were forced to shift their gaze towards the whole room. It was way cleaner than you could ever keep it. Everything was finally clean, not dust-coated as it used to stay. Your study table attracted your attention- looking brand new, as if it were just made yesterday. Jaemin must have some experience of helping old age people with their stuff back at his old house. "Wow. It's... pretty." You complimented his efforts. He smiles to you and lays over your bed. "You have pretty great stuff."

"I liked your journal the best."

You felt like throwing yourself outside the window. Or, it might be great to take him in too so he doesn't go around telling everybody about your crushes. "Literally, Y/N," You weren't prepared for what's next. What's he going to reveal? The time you crushed on your math teacher? Or when you imagined a boy naked? But what came out was way worse than all of the book.

"You had a wet dream with me?"

Oh no. Out of all of it this one was what he asked? The tension on your face rose up, blood rushing up to your cheeks. He looked at you and smirked. "Oh, don't worry sweetheart. I've read all of it." You couldn't handle a second before you smashed a pillow right at him. He took it by surprise, and actually got hit by the pillows. "Do girls hit people when they're shy?"

Crackhead.

A thought rose up in your mind. "Yes. They do. And if you get them too shy they might even stab you." Jaemin mocked a scared look on his face and then went, "Heh. You and your stupid girl jokes." You quickly needed something against him... a secret, maybe. You try to recall something embarrassing that he told you, and it strikes faster than you thought.

"I think you might die."

Jaemin's face was left expressionless, "Oh, all because I read your journal and now you're gonna stab me?"

"Close, but not exact."

Before you could tell him the exact reason why he might die, he pulls out a pink book, and turns out, it's nothing but your journal.

"Y/N-" Before any word could come out of that beautiful mouth of this crackhead, you reach out to grab the book from his hands. It seems like he doesn't even want to try, and you have the book in your hands within a flash.

You keep the book with you, hugging it as tight as possible, so that even if he tries to make a grab at it, he would fail. He lays down on your bed, the body-fit shirt hugging him tight. It seemed like his mood had completely changed. He chuckles, "You're still the same, you know? Nothing has changed." He held out your hand. Was he trying to change the topic?

You try to indulge into the conversation, asking "How? Everything has changed over the last decade."

Jaemin had changed completely, and that fact made you think that he would feel the same towards you. You saw a sense of maturity, more of responsibility in him. Ever since both of you separated, it had been hard to move on, every day and night spent in grief. But as usual, life strung the both of you along with it, and you both followed. You suddenly had flashbacks, that night in the club, the pool party... you immediately shook your head, wanting to forget all of the embarrassing moments of your life.

"Y/N, You know that the meeting's tomorrow, right?" Jaemin's face grew serious. "Do you have any idea how you're going to manage?" There was a tone of worriedness in his words. "C'mon! I almost became your wrestle buddy! I can handle it!! I'll just gulp down some of my medicines, and I'll be okay." Your conditions were streets ahead after you got some sleep. Everything felt finer, specially when you woke up to the perfect sight of the room you never had. You played with Jaemin's fingers and then reached out for his arms. You assured him, "Everything's going to be fine, only if I can control myself for puking on you." Not being able to control yourself, you giggled at Jaemin's widened eyes.

"I'm going to wear plastic on me then." You burst out into fits of laughter, "Like JYP?" Jaemin smiled upon you, "Yes."

After all of this, you were sure the trip would be fun, and you probably won't upload the next season of hunger games.

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