#i'm going to immediately write 5 books and run a marathon

[gideonisms]

I do think that if I ever stop struggling financially and/or logistically I will immediately become the most efficient person in the world

[ltwharfy]

"Bob's Burgers" Season 7 Episode Ranking Rewatch (Long Post)

So, I've been rewatching "Bob's Burgers" from the beginning and ranking the episodes using the spreadsheet that @babsvibes created! If you want to know why I'm doing this or how I view the 1-5 rating scale, you can check out my Season 1 post! If you want to check out any of the other seasons, I've been using the "bob's burgers episode ranking rewatch" tag for all of them.

Now, on to Season 7:

Average (Mean) Score: 4.64

Mode (Most Common) Ranking: 5

Ranking Breakdown: 15 5s 6 4s 1 3

Season as whole thoughts:

Our new first place season (and I think it's kind of unlikely to be topped!) Unlike with Season 4, where I was kind of surprised by how high its average scored ended up being, Season 7 is one that I knew going in had several of my favorite episodes. I remember several years ago, the AV Club had a Q and A asking "What's the strongest 3 episode run of a TV show"? My immediate thought when seeing that : "Bob's Burgers" when they did "Ex Mach Tina" followed by "Bob Actually" followed by "There's No Business Like Mr. Business Business".

"Bob Actually" is a strongest contender for my favorite episode, and when I think of the reasons why (which do, in fact, go beyond "Roudise Kiss!!!!!!!"), I think they kind of encapsulate the strengths of this season. I think "Bob Actually" is a perfect combination of being really funny (everything Flips Whitefudge says; Ms. LaBonz stealing from the school; heck, even Mr. Blevins gets a funny line!), being really creative (giving each of the Belchers their own storylines rather than just an A and B story), and being emotionally satisfying (obviously, this kind of depends on how fond you are of Tinimmy and Roudise and Boblin.)

And I feel like a lot of the episodes of this season have that perfect combination of humor, emotion, and creativity- "Large Brother, Where Fart Thou?" sees the hilarity of Bob and Linda getting high with their account, the innovation of Tina having a storyline where she doesn't interact with any of the other Belchers, and the emotion of Gene being a protective big brother to Louise. "Last Gingerbread House on the Left" features a gunfight at a gingerbread house competition (hilarious!), that uses beautiful slow motion and closeups (creative!), and results in Bob actually winning something for once and giving a great Christmas present to his kids- and Mr. Fischoeder and his weird rich friends (awwwww!)

Obviously, I think the show was great in its previous seasons, but in my book Season 7 is just amazing- a show at the top of its game and not content to rest on its laurels!

Some thoughts on specific episodes (and feel free to ask if you want my thoughts on an episode I didn't comment on):

"Flu-ouise": I loved learning a little bit more about Kuchi Kopi and Louise's other toys! I will always crack up when Teddy says "Mumaluma!" One of my favorite end credits sequences- I love Louise's exuberant dancing and the song- "but the sickness made you better, and I'm glad you didn't diiiiiiiiie!"

"Teen-a Witch": I hope before the show ends we get to see Mr. Ambrose riding his bike to school with a little dog in the front basket.

"The Quirkducers": Along with "The Hormone-iums" this was the other episode that convinced me I should do a rewatch before doing the spreadsheet. One of the cable channels was doing a marathon of the Thanksgiving episodes and I remember feeling kind of meh when this came up- I knew it wasn't one of my favorites. Or I THOUGHT I knew! This is a wonderful episode! There is a good chance I will tear up when Tina starts singing about how "it takes guts to be yourself!" And the Grandpa Potato is hilarious! And Peter Pescadero's women's issues club song is further proof that he is THE great underrated character of the show.

"Ex Mach Tina": So, we can all just agree that Jimmy Jr's musoems are some of the funniest writing on the show, right? And that "Watching You From a Distant Place" is one of the best songs? The way all three of the plots- Tina and J-Ju and the robot, Louise and Gene and Yuli and the robot, and Bob and the banjo- come together at the end is brilliant and beautiful! Tammy and Joceyln's "A.I"-"as if" conversation, followed by Zeke's "you guys are making me feel smart" is possibly my favorite moment for those characters. This episode is really pretty perfect.

"Bob Actually": So, you may not know this about me, because I tend to keep this close to my chest but I'm actually a pretty big fan of Louise and Rudy's relationship. Shocking, right? And I've basically been shipping them since the end of "Carpe Museum", a fact which I have never disclosed before (certainly not in my Season 3 rewatch post). And then they have a Valentine's Day story that ends with them kissing, and I really like that episode. Okay, I probably dropped a lot of surprising info on y'all there so I understand if you need to take a break before reading the rest of this.

"There's No Business Like Mr. Business Business": John Oliver! Gene and Tina eating cat food! Bob training a cat! Bob accepting Gayle for who she is! Mr. Business getting ALMOST as much screentime as he deserves! This is an amazing episode, and I stand by my 2019 opinion that this the two previous episodes are the best 3 episodes run in TV history (okay, well, one of them anyway. I haven't watched all the TV shows! And how would I even know how good their episodes are if Babs doesn't make a spreadsheet for them?!)

"A Few 'Gurt Men": I was surprised how much I enjoyed this one! I'm a lawyer, and a pretty burnt out one at that, so I tend to not enjoy legal shows or movies any more- even comedy ones. But my love of the Wagstaff students and staff trumped by legal burnout and I really enjoyed this episode! Also, I love the episodes that show that Louise and Mr. Frond really respect and care for each other. (That said, I absolutely am not one of those people who sees this episode and thinks Louise will grow up to be a lawyer! She wouldn't last more than a semester at law school. No matter how mature she gets, Louise will never suffer fools gladly, and that's a kind of necessary trait to get through law school- let alone be a practicing lawyer.)

"Like Gene for Chocolate": Meh. Even Michael Jordan didn't make all his shots.

"Aquaticism": I think this is one of the most romantic episodes of "Bob's Burgers"- even more romantic than some of the Valentine's Day episodes. I may love Boblin and Roudise, but honestly it's Roger and Judy that are my real relationship goals at the present moment. Just some kind of sweet, kind of awkward middle aged people finding love...or, at least, a date Awwww. (Also, to again point out the combination of emotion and humor in this season: this is also an episode where the kids convince an aquarium owner to commit tax fraud by creating a religion and it results in an IRS agent jumping in a jellyfish tank...)

"Ain't Miss Debatin'": I love Henry Haber. I wrote a fic about him named after a line of dialogue from this episode. The scene where he goes to pick up Tina for their date and makes small talk with Bob, Gene, and Louise is one of my all-time favorites. Also, the introduction of Duncan, a character who basically makes me laugh with every single line. "Rebuttal? Where I'm from we call it buttle-rubbies."

"The Laser-inth": Maybe the sleeper hit of this season. I remember thinking it was okay going in, but it just really moved me this time around. Bob is just such a great Dad in this episode! It might be my favorite Bob and Gene episode. And the subplot is great too! I love Louise and Gretchen's dynamic: "Pretend you're a little girl." "Pssh. I'll try."

"Mom, Lies, and Videotape": So, I feel like I may have been even more obnoxiously Roudise shippy than usual in this post given that this is the season of "Bob Actually", so if that's bothered any of you, I am sorry, and I advise you skip this comment. Okay, so, this is the first speaking appearance by Chloe or Rudy since "Bob Actually". And Louise makes up a story where they are in a class play that culminates in: 1. Her shooting Chloe with a rubber band and 2. Rudy holding her tenderly in his arms in front of everyone in the auditorium (yeah, I know she's playing his mom and she's dying BUT STILL!) She could've come up with any idea and put any of her classmates in any of the roles, and that's the story she tells...

"Paraders of the Lost Float": Some episodes I know how I am going to rate them pretty early on, others I don't really know til the end. This episode just has a such a beautiful feelgood ending that it moved it from a 4 to a 5. Really, I think it's probably one of the most feelgood endings of any episode of the show. It just makes me so happy! "Hot pants rain dance! Da-da doo-doo rain, I don't know the words!"

Random thoughts (stuff that doesn't affect the ratings):

-So I kind of stopped mentioning first appearances by characters after either Rudy in Season 3 or Felix in Season 4, but it's kind of remarkable how many characters joined this season or later. It's hard to imagine we went over six seasons without having Chloe in Ms. LaBonz's class (and Arnold and Kaylee still aren't there)!

-It's too bad I'm an old person who's more comfortable writing a bunch of words than just making memes, because I feel like this all could've been covered much more succinctly with that "Seinfeld" meme: "You're crying from 'Bob's Burgers' Season 7?"

[icantstopjaehyun]

Bad Guy

Pt.1 (?)

(Gif not mine)

Betty and Veronica walked down the school hallway at lunch break, looking for the third girl in their friend group. They exchanged looks, not looking forward to the conversation the had to have with you. It's not easy to tell your best friend that the guy she'd been head over heels for is actually with her for some lame points from his lame friends.

The spotted you, putting your books away so you could go to lunch. With quick steps they caught up with you just after you closed your locker, hiding the pictures you had with them and Reggie, your boyfriend.

"Hey y/n, is it okay if we have lunch outside? We have to talk to you about something" Betty started with a sympathetic smile painted on her face. Ronnie looked at you the same way, but only nodded to the blonde's proposal.

"Sure, I guess" you looked at them with sceptical eyes, "is everything okay though? You are kinda scarring me".

The three of you made your way outside, and sat under a shade of a big tree. "Baby, we have some bad news about Mantle" Veronica spoke for the first time, "and I'm afraid that there is no easy way to say this".

You looked at her with a confused expression but before you could question what this was all about, Betty cut in, finally saying something that you had to know, about your relationship.

"We talked with Ethel, the girl that got bullied by Chuck. We discovered that he and his friends, incuding Reggie, have a 'playbook' where they write the names of girls in the school and then try to get to them, only to earn points by their friends and make fun of the girls", she exhaled, "we broke into school last night and found the book".

Veronica continued after taking my hand in hers and looking into my eyes. "I'm so sorry baby, your name is in the book, next to Reggie's".

All emotion drained from your face, putting on a strong mask even though it was your most trusted friends you have infront of you.

Your hand stilled and your body tensed. After some minutes you slowly got up and after uttering an 'I would like to be alone please' you never even bothered to look back, only walking towards your car that drove you to your home.

The trip from school to your bed was something you never registered in your mind. You only knew the girls tried to stop you but eventually gave up, aknowledging your need to be alone and let the fact that the guy you liked so much only dated you for some points settle in.

Sleep overtook you, after hours of crying, and you welcomed it like an old friend after an emotianally exhausting day.

--

Knocks on your bedroom window woke you up from your sleep. They were persistent and were getting louder by the second. Checking the time from your alarm clock you did a double take, the bright green letters reading 8:46 in the afternoon.

Now you knew who would be the only person knocking on your window at this time, but since you weren't sure how to face him after what you learned earlier in the day, you kept your windows locked and opted to text him a simple 'please stop'.

'Baby, talk to me' and 'what's wrong' were his replies that came immediately after you send the text.

The pebbles stopped but your phone buzzed without break for at least 5 minutes. Then only once and then never again in the evening.

You knew ignoring him would only make things worse. Things like this should be talked out between two people. But right now, the only thing you could do is think about your girls, and how you needed them at the moment. So you called them both, and asked them to bring ice cream with.

B and V were at your doorstep in a quarter and from that moment a marathon of stress eating, crying and watching sappy movies started and ended with your friends sleeping over, your parents not even questioning it anymore.

--

You walked into school the next morning, the sun shining as if mocking you and your misery. Ronnie had decided that waking up early in the morning, having a good breakfast and actually putting some effort in your outfit was a good start for such a difficult day.

It worked for a while, but now that you run into your boyfriend (?) at the school halway, there wasn't much a nice skirt and a pretty top could do to help you.

Reggie looked like he didn't sleep at all last night, and honestly, you didn't know how that made you feel. You cared about the boy, even when he broke your heart.

His face brightened up when he spotted you in the crowd though, and he made his way to you in big strides.

"Hi princess, I missed you yesterday" he said with a questioning look in his orbs.

Ignoring his greeting you got straight to the point, "we need to talk, Reggie, but I don't want to do this here" you looked around.

A frown took over his face, an even more worried look evident in the way he spoke. "Do you want to skip first period with me then?" He asked and reached a hand out, waiting for you to link your fingers together. But you didn't and it only made him more upset.

"Yes, let's go to Pop's" you noded and turned towards the exit, ignoring his palm that reached for yours.

He drove and the car that was once filled with music and off-tune singing was silent and the atmoshaire was gloomy. By now, Reggie wrecked his brain for something that had happened the last weeks that could lead to this situation but he came up with nothing.

You opened the door to Pop's, the bell ringing over your body and you slidded into a booth in the almost empty diner.

"Okay baby, I have to know what's going on, you are worriyng me so much right now" he pleaded and looked at you with sad eyes.

"I know about the playbook" you replied at first and when he didn't respond you specified, "I know I'm worth 8 points for your game" you said you said in between sharp breaths, at this point barely keeping it together.

Reggie took a deep breath, obviously trying to respont to the reveal. It seemed like nothing he tried to say made sence so he decided to wing it, to tell you the truth that you deserve.

"Y/n I want you to look into my eyes when I say this okay?"

"I don't think there's really anything to say Reg-"

"Just this once, okay baby?" He insisted and you just signed, letting him continue. "I know how this sounds, I do. But it was a stupid thing between us guys that never made sence but we did it anyway to make ourselves feel good and to climb the social ladder" he scoffed and turned his gaze, as if recalling the time they agreed on making the damned book.

"I had a big crush on you for about some time before I actually approached you and that was the reason I faught to write my name next to yours instead of Chuck".

You had a whiplash at this new information, the sock evident in your expression, "Wait, did Chuck Clayton actually want to use me as he did Ethel and those poor girls?"

"Yes, he and I haven't been on great terms since that argument" he confirmed.

"Please, continue".

He sighed, "I got to put my name next to yours on the book, but it served as a push for me to finally make a move, I swear," he locked eyes with me, "You have to believe me, darling, these past months with you were the best I have ever had with someone" Reggie confessed.

But that was your breaking point. How dare he turn this around on you? How dare he lie more than he already had?

"That's the thing, Mantle, I don't have to believe anything that comes out of those lips" you looked at him dead in the eye for a moment and then grabbed your bag and got up.

"You're not a bad boy, Reggie," you looked at him one last time before walking out the door of the shop.

"You're a bad guy".