#i'm going to go to the store and if they don't have My Yarn then i'm getting some yarn for a hook holder i saw (which will be my third WIP)

[bywandandsword]

You ever be reading a fic and the author is clearly a knitter and gave one of the characters knitting as a hobby, and then the author made two different characters knitting sweaters for the main protagonist as an expression of love and comforting an actually important B plot, and sweaters themselves becoming symbolic of asserting one's bodily autonomy and practising genuine self care, while also symbolizing a desire for physical comfort, which was denied to the main protagonist until the Plot of the fic happened

You ever have that happen to you, when you yourself are a knitter, and go, well I have no choice but cast on a sweater for myself, now do I?

[thegreathomestuckreread]

the worst thing about doing Arts and Crafts is when you have a very specific idea and you do not have the supplies to make it Right Now Immediately

[uncanny-tranny]

I can understand why people have fifty thousand WIPs because I've been waiting so long for my yarn to come back in stock that I'm going insane and will continue adding WIPs until I can get my yarn(tm)

[neverbelessthan]

I got tagged by the lovely @sleepystede to make an adorable little picrew blorbo dude. Thank you for tagging me! 🥰

I was feelin' the spots. He looks like a little chicken stuck in a stress ball. Also this is a 10/10 accurate representation of me in a few weeks, glasses and noise cancelling headphones on, listening to @lindie-kninjaknitter's podfics while i wander about Japan ✌️

tagging: @jessystardust, @adickaboutspoons, @scorpiostarseed, @wickedlycaskett, @endevouring-to-surprise, @daria-meoi, @pumpkinspicepirates and sorry sorry sorry if i've tagged anyone who has already done it, and if I missed someone who would like to do it please just pretend that I'm better at this than I am and that I tagged you. (And if I keep tagging you for these things and you hate them, please tell me to stop.) *social anxiety jazz hands*

(I've been buried under mountains of uni work and only just realised that i've been tagged for a bunch of things! Sorry! I'm slowly toddling my way through them, thank you so much for thinking of me! ❤️)

[cesium-sheep]

we were talking about approaches to presents yesterday cuz my step-grandma did die a couple days ago (rip lady whose name I did not know and whose son does not really matter to me) and it's like well shit guess I'd better make my stepdad an extra present then, and matt was throwing out ideas like "well maybe we could find out her birthstone and make it the same color or something" and I was just bluntly like "I do not care that much about this man." and he said something about how the amount of thought he puts into his gifts is about him and his own reputation as much as (or more than) the recipient, and later I was able to put together that like, yes, for sure, I will always put thought into my gifts, but it's a question of effort. I never give someone a gift that's truly "whatever fuck you gift basket" even when I do give people gift baskets, because I still think a lot about what I'm choosing and why. even last year when everyone got craft fair leftovers I thought about who got what and why.

but because I make almost all my gifts, different people rate different amounts of effort. like, if you have a parent die or some other Shit Year stuff going on I'll probably make something extra warm that year, but if you're normally only on the list out of obligation rather than fondness it's going to be basic and made with yarn I had left over. if you're extra niceys to me I'll probably try to make you something extra if I can. also obviously my partners are the top of the christmas effort list because they're the people that are most involved in my life, even if it looks a little less weighted than many people's christmases just because the full effort list is uhhhh larger than average. (this is heavily simplified from how it used to be before I obtained the means to make socks with relative ease, thereby providing a "base gift" that can be given to almost everyone/anyone. obviously people that can't receive socks get worked out slightly differently, though the base principle is the same.)

the comparison I used is that like, matt may go to the mall to shop for anyone, but he would only go to a specialty store out of his way for certain people. the amount of thought is the same, but the amount of effort changes.

look I know there's still a month left of halloween but I've been having a fuck of a time for uhhhhhhhh A While and christmas and gifts therefor are Important to me.

[olderthannetfic]

What's a good place online to get decent-quality yarn at a reasonable price?

--

Knitpicks.

Assuming you want wool and that kind of thing, your idea of reasonable is box store prices, and you're in the US. They regularly have amazing sales too, on top of the already-low prices.

The snobbier you are, the more you'll need to look for other people's destashes. I was just at a reuse place today and they happened to just have gotten in some nicer-than-usual yarn with the labels still on.

The ideal is to find someone's grandma who is drowning in her stash or, better yet, someone with a dead grandma and no interest in knitting who needs to dump a bunch of yarn fast. But, of course, it depends if you're the kind of knitter who finds that inspiring or if you just want the correct yarn to use on a project you've already picked out.

I got some Wool of the Andes worsted early in my current phase of knitting, and it's quite nice, especially for the price. I'm currently trying out some of the sport weight because I have a specific Christmas sweater that needs it. I'm finding it scratchier and less nice, but I haven't blocked it yet, so we'll see. The whole Wool of the Andes line is beloved by thrifty knitters.

If you're willing to do some work and you like an adventure, unraveling a thrift store sweater is by far the most cost effective way to get a big lot of yarn. You can check the tag for fiber content. Some of these yarns will be rather thin, so you might hold them double or even triple for hand knitting.

For me personally, it usually makes more sense to chase super deep discounts on ultra premium stuff and then see what I can figure out with the yardage I end up with. It's really going to depend on you and your priorities. If you're longing for cashmere, it makes way more sense to try the thrift store approach. If you have a very specific Christmas colorwork pattern, Knitpicks or the like is probably a better bet. I got a big lot from fabulousyarn.com once when I needed that exact yarn. They seem fine. I don't know a lot about these big online stores, but there are a few of them, and they tend to have good deals.

You also have to consider whether you're going to be able to get continental US shipping (probably free from a US store) or not.

Anyone have thoughts on this?

[lostwysteria]

(Part 15. I put parts 1 through 10 on ao3. ShatteredAngel is my Username.

I fix it'd myself into a corner. I have no freaking clue what to do with Enlighter/God's Eye. I had Ling save Nice, Moon never faked her death, and Ling is already his own hero. Any suggestions for what I should do for episode 4?)

Masterlist

Shang Chao and Yang Cheng were staring at all of the recent news and photos of their old friend. 

“What in the world happened!?” Cheng exclaimed in bafflement. 

“This is what happens when we go on a media blackout vacation!” Chao put his head in his hands.

“He saved your life and then vanished, taking with him a sense of security we didn't even knew we had, and now pops back up again years later!” Cheng was pacing. “How did he save Nice’s life, anyways? No one seems to know. Just that it is on record that he did. Somehow that led to them living together?”

“People are also speculating that there is something romantic going on, too.” Shang Chao informed his long time partner.

“Oh my god. Not our innocent and pure mom friend.” 

Chao had to agree. Lin Ling had been a definite mother hen and was way too innocent and pure for the perfect pretty boy “We’ll have to catch him sometime. See what's up.”

“Something smells fishy with all of this.”

Little did they know it would be a while before they could. And under interesting circumstances.

…

“Be careful! Don't stab yourselves with the screws!” Lin Ling called from the kitchen. 

Nice and Wreck were tousling on the floor and arguing over how to put together a desk and shelf combo for the corner of the apartment that was becoming Ling’s craft storage area. Wreck had been the one to get it for him. 

Now he would have a place to store his yarn, hooks, stitch markers, yarn needles, and other materials on top of having a desk to do household management tasks like grocery lists and such. 

Ling had sighed in exasperation. Nice spoiling him was to be expected of the not quite sane hero. Wreck doing it was unexpected.

“Don't worry about the screws, I’m more worried about Kitten’s claws. Trim your nails, dude.” Wreck complained as he pinned the smaller male under him.

“Kiss me and maybe I will.” Nice teased.

Ling held back giggles at the couple and flushed a bit. The two were ridiculously attractive. 

“How are we feeling about tomorrow? Are you going to be able to focus?” Ling asked Nice. The next day was the staged kidnapping and rescue. Wreck's first step in ‘redemption’ in the eyes of the public. A few days before Wreck and Nice had a merry chase through the city as Wreck ‘escaped’ Hero Tower. They had come home late and both had hickeys all over and soaked from falling into a pond.

People were eating it up. They were on the edge of their seats in anticipation for what comes next.

“I still hate this! So many things could go wrong! If something happens I swear I will, as the kids say, crash out.” Nice warned.

Wreck choked. “Never say that again. Oh my god.”

Ling dried his hands and walked over to a sitting Nice. He sat himself right in his lap and buried his face in his neck. Nice was absolutely delighted. He was instantly purring up a storm. “I’ll be fine. I may be weaker than you, but I'm not helpless, you know. Trust me? It’ll be fine. Please?” Ling asked softly. The white haired man melted. 

“I know you can handle yourself. It's other people I don't trust. I need you both so much.” Nice shakily said. Wreck scooched over to them and wrapped his arm around Nice’s back.

“I won't let anything happen. You know that.” Wreck soothed.

“Alright. I’ll be able to focus as long as you're sure.” Nice agreed as he relaxed fully. His eyes lost that manic gleam that had risen to the surface.

Ling and Wreck shared a look after Nice buried his face in Ling's hair. Crisis averted. For now.

[fibernati]

The crochet hook case is finally here!!!

This is my very first crochet project. I made it using two different yarns: Barroco nº 4 (the grey one) and Duna (the green one), both by a Brazilian brand called Círculo. Using the 3.0mm hook. And, it took me about 3~4 days to finish. [you can find the project diary here and here]

At the end of the project, I gave up on making two more pockets and made just one. The one without a closure. The fourth one was supposed to go above the bigger pocket, but I thought it wasn't necessary because I don't have that many things to store.

I sewed the hook holder based on the size of my hooks, but they hadn't arrived yet when I crocheted this part, so I ended up following the original measurement and then I regretted it, because as you can see below, there's a piece left over that's no use, it's simply a raised flap. Besides, if you look at the photo above, you'll see that I sewed it on crooked. Everything here is crooked, that okay.

I also gave up on making a pendant for the drawstring because I wanted a flower and I couldn't make one. I asked my mom, and she couldn't make the flower either, so in the end I said let it go, let's keep it simple and it's useful, it achieves the purpose to close the case so I'm fine with that.

Here you can see the things I wish I had done differently. The leftover tab, and the buttons.

These buttons were made from improvisation, because I still don't understand the concept of the magic circle, and they turned out okay, but I sewed them on in a way that, after a few days of closing and opening, made me realize that at some point they will fall off.

So, I'm going to need new bottons and honestly, I can just buy them?? I wish I had thought about it before.

Basically, this is my first project and I hope to use this case for a long time. Now, let's talk about the feelings about make it, the expectations, the frustations and also the tips and cumpliments!!!

Just showing you what I'm storing in each pocket. That one without closure it's empty for now.

As I said before, I started out thinking I was going to follow a tutorial, but I let the project take me and did what I thought would be best for my personal use and to match my personality.

It was a fun project to do, but I'm also very aware of what I would have liked to have done and what I actually did. Not that they are VERY far apart, but learning to crochet for just one week (two now!), I did the best I could with what I had and it's better than not having made anything at all.

During the whole process, the thing that bothered me most was that it turned out crooked. Everything was simply crooked and I didn't know how to fix it, I redid it and it was still crooked, so I gave up and left it crooked.

One tip I was given was to use stitch markers at the beginning and/or end of each row, because that would help me get everything straight. And I'm definitely going to use that for my next project. They also gave me color suggestions and a tutorial on how to make an easy flower. I'm going to try again, but I need to buy the suggested colors before I do that!!!

My friends encouraged me a lot while I was doing it, and every time I said it was crooked, they lied to me. Which was really nice of them, because I have ADHD and I don't know how to deal with frustration, so there were times when I wanted to give up because it didn't look the way it should be in my head.

The people who know how to crochet and have seen this case, both here on Tumblr or in real life, have been lovely to me. They know it has flaws and I know they know it has flaws, but the messages were all saying that yes, it's a bit wonky, but that with practice, I'll be able to make better things and even if it's not perfect now, I've done a good job and shouldn't be hard on myself!

It's cute, it's useful, it's my favorite colors and they match with me, so, yes I'm very proud of my crooked hook case. 10/10 🎉✨

[wellofdean]

Not to discourse, but...I do not understand at all why people think Jensen Ross Ackles is gonna answer questions about things that haven't happened yet in an ongoing story in any kind of way that tells you anything concrete about what is going to happen, or what his character is going to feel or do, when his character has not had a chance to feel or do them yet? Do people really want him to start spinning fucking yarns up there?

Also, I cannot understand why anyone wants him to?! Like, thank you Jensen for NOT TELLING US. I don't want to go into it having been told what to feel and think about it! I want to see it, be surprised and experience emotions that aren't just the smug satisfaction of watching what I already know will happen play out. Like, when Supernatural returns, y'all know they are not going to just immediately throw the whole cow to us piranhas, right?

And while I'm here, on my horse, I would also like to say that I can't help but feel that this whole discussion that I have seen elsewhere in my feed here, is predicated on the idea that Jensen has not known ALL ALONG what character he was acting or what Dean feels and thinks, and that he is not good at his job. Does it ever occur to people that he DOES KNOW, because he is, in fact, fucking great at his job?

One of the best things about that guy is the way he does not say anything coercive EVER about this story or his character. He is letting his work as an actor speak for him, AS HE SHOULD. Do you feel like there is a deep sadness in Dean? A loneliness and an unspoken inner life? A desire for something more? Do you feel like he has made it clear in a million tiny ways that Dean cannot carry on without Cas, but that he fucking tried because Cas died to save him, and he had to make it mean something? Did you not see how he hugged that fucking dog that one time?? Do you not watch Dean, and see these things? These things are the actual content of the actual narrative. The narrative is the place where Dean's feelings and thoughts and actions are stored. Jensen speculating about it on a con stage is not a thing I even sort of want!

If you are disappointed that Jensen did not say: oh yeah, they will RESOLVE IT (nudge nudge wink wink har har har) my question is: why don't you trust your own eyes? Why do you think he is not in control of what he is putting across as an actor? Why do you need him to tell you, in kindergarten terms, what happened? Why don't you want to just watch it and be surprised by joy? The truth is, he has been very consistent in his responses to these kinds of questions, AND he made a whole season of television (TW) with his production company that is consistent with everything he has said. What can he possibly do to satisfy you?

I can only say that personally? I AM SATISFIED. Dean is Dean, and I love him. Jensen made him, and I love that guy's work. Please make more of him, because I cannot wait to love Dean some more. I am here because it's fun, and I am having a good time. Y'all should try it!

[hunnylagoon]

Candy

PT1: Sober to Death

Ellie Williams x Reader

I’m home and here to stay like a ghost to haunt. You can’t shake me off your back for I linger in your head like carelessly uttered curse. Summer falls to ashes in my mouth and so I will spit them into your urn, just like that all of my devotion turns violent.

Premise: After a mental break you are being held together by nothing but glitter glue and craft yarn. You seek refuge with an old friend in a coastal town to live the life you thought you left behind.

Warnings: SENSITIVE THEMES / reader is a recovered addict / mentions of drug and alcohol abuse / angst / brief mentions of violence / possibly triggering discussions of drug addiction

Read at your own discretion

Inside me, something seethes. Inside me, some feral animal has been forced into a cage where it thrashes and screams. Perhaps I will turn into a snarling wolf and rip out the throats of each girl who made me go home crying in middle school. Maybe I will don the pelt of a sheep and surprise all of those who convinced me it was a good idea to try ketamine when I shed my cloak and reveal my long curled claws and fangs sharp as knives.

I'm heartless at worst and helpless at best.

I don't know how else to be. I was raised like a stick of dynamite lit from both ends and I can describe in detail how the earth warps beneath my feet or how I watch the sky bend until it snaps and collapses onto a body too tired to lift it back up.

Everything miles ahead of what I was, to them, I was only ever an addict. Cursed with the nickname 'popper' since tenth grade and everyone thought it to be nothing more than a joke they didn't know how I found serenity in the tablet of acid that rested on my tongue. 

It started with pot and drinking on the weekends then flew into full-blown benders when I swallowed back synthetic sunshine like it was candy. None of my friends thought I would end up with my back plastered on my dorm floor, eyes wide with what once was a bottle of pills frothing out of my mouth. 

It took me two overdoses to get here, had to put my white blood cells to work.

"I didn't think you'd be up this early," Joel smiled at me, he was nursing a mug of coffee, a plate in front of him with a half-eaten piece of toast and a golden yoke running onto the porcelain. That might've been my favourite thing about the farm, fresh eggs. Once you have them you can never go back to the sad pale grocery store eggs.

"That makes two of us," I pulled out a chair from the wooden dining table and sat down. Joel had put so much love into this home. These days I’m too nauseous to eat breakfast.

"Ellie doesn't even wake up this early," He took a slug of his black coffee, the scent was strong, filling up the entire house, I could smell it the second I woke up. "How's the room? Is everything to your liking?"

I had felt so guilty for free-loading off Joel whom I hadn't seen since I was twelve, it had been eight years. He sent me cards on my birthday every year but I never was able to grasp how close our parents had been. I'm pretty sure I was friends with Ellie when I was little, there were pictures of the two of us hugging each other and playing beneath sprinklers, my front teeth missing, Ellie covered head to toe in Spider-Man band-aids. I didn't have any recollection of us when we were close, as we got older we got more stiff around each other. When my family would visit, she would hang out with her friends and I would keep to myself. Of course, my parents moved us to the city where everything hit me too hard all at once. "It's perfect, thank you."

"It's pretty hard to peel yourself off that mattress, huh?" Joel smiled at me, showing me every ounce of warmth he had when I was a child.

I nod in response "So much more comfortable than those stiff dorm mattresses," It almost felt like I was making conversation with a ghost.

"Since you're up so early, care for a tour while I do some chores?" He asked. I had been here a few days already, though I just kept to myself I didn't want to impose on his pleasant life with his daughter who hadn't called him at three am sobbing because she had too many opioids. I had wandered briefly around the farm of course and I had remembered bits and pieces of it from my childhood but I felt so out of place that I mainly locked myself inside of my temporary room and lived through my friend's Instagram stories.

"I'd love to," I smile politely, unsure of what else to do. 

 "Do you think you're gonna go back to school?" Joel asked as he stood up with his plate and mug in hand and began to wash them in the stainless steel sink. "No pressure, there's life outside of a lecture hall."

This was a question I had been thinking about day in and day out. I was a year and then some into getting my degree when my 'fun habits' began spiralling uncontrollably. My parents had managed to snag me a two-year deferral so I could go to rehab and go back to school the following year but I was so full of shame that I shook with the thought of going back. For the first time in my life, I am afraid I have no real desires. 

When I was dead inside a motel bathtub, I thought I needed to be somewhere different but now that I'm there, I need to be someone different too. "I'm not really sure right now, just please don't tell my parents I said that."

"Secrets safe with me," He opens a cabinet and pulls out a bag of cat food, shaking it until a scrawny calico cat appears out of thin air. Pepper happily devours the food Joel puts in her little bowl. I remembered Pepper, she was a kitten way back then and I would cut open socks to make clothes for her. "You should just know that it's never too late."

Very early in my life, it was too late. "Thanks, Joel," Not yet a corpse and still I rot like all of my ambitions turn to sludge at my tired feet.

He looks around, exhaling a deep breath, trying to scope out anything else he has to do in the kitchen. "You outta get geared up, I'm gonna wake up Ellie then me and you can get to work."

I nod in agreement even though I'm not sure what he means by 'gear up' so I figure that's just him saying to put on a hoodie and some rain boots. I stand awkwardly by the door, waiting for Joel. Absentmindedly I rock back and forth on my heels hands clasped together. I'm twenty years old but I feel like I'm twelve again, trying to find a place for myself in someone else's life. 

I thought of the last time I was in this house. I was twelve, unaware of the future that awaited me, I had buried a time capsule with Ellie and her cousins somewhere on this property. Writing to my future self, talking about all of the things I should be. If only she saw the brain-rotten zombie that was her destiny.

My parents had told everyone back home I was backpacking across Australia and taking a break from academics to see the world. In the eyes of those who knew me well and were more than aware of what happened, it was a shame to them that I had wasted a sharp brain and a pretty face. It takes a whole lot of strength the endure myself.

It doesn't take long for Joel to walk back down the creaky stairs, Ellie trailing behind him, sleep in her eyes. She's in boxers and one of Joel's old t-shirts, hair still messy and unbrushed. Ellie yawns and gives me a little wave- it wasn't really a wave, just her raising a hand in my direction as an acknowledgment. 

We hadn't spoken much since I got here, I had met her in the past but we didn't know each other. A lot can change in eight years. She wasn't unfriendly toward me, we indulged in small talk and laughed at each other's jokes but each conversation was so shallow I wanted to lay face down and drown in them. 

Ellie goes straight for the fridge, unlike her dad, she pours milk into a sickly sweet cereal which seems cavity-inducing. She was back from college for the summer, taking advantage of her father's love and food. Joel walked over to where I was standing at the door, slipping into his mucking boots. "While you're both here," He says before looking at me "How much do you know about boats?"

I furrow my eyebrows "A good bit I guess?" I answer, figuring he was just trying to rekindle a spark between Ellie and me that had been put out eight years ago by rain, ocean spray, and vodka.

"Y'know, Els," He gestures towards me "This one used to work at her parent's marina, they tell me she's done a couple of repairs and I bet she could give you some pointers on how to fix up that boat." I'm confused by his words, this is the first I've heard about a boat. Joel can see the uncertainty on my face "Her uncle gave her a piece of shit boat last summer before she went back to school, over the year I guess some teenagers thought it was a good hideout and trashed it even more."

"Seriously?" Her head pokes up "It would be great if you could come down with me later, she just needs a little love," Ellie spoons some cereal into her mouth. I had always thought it weird how people spoke about their boats like they were women, I even caught myself doing it on occasion. "Only if you want to, of course."

"Sure," I agree, no idea how much repair this boat was in need of "I've got nothing better to do."

I could tell Joel counted this as a win. I knew he had been commuting with my parents and how desperately they wanted me to keep myself occupied for the summer. "Well, we've got some work to do, kiddo."

After a solid five hours of following Joel around like a duckling and re-learning all the names of the animals, I was walking with Ellie toward her pickup truck. "Wanna drive?" She asks as we walk to the long beaten driveway

"Oh, I can't." The coolness of the morning has ebbed away into a borderline unbearable heat, I wasn't sure how Ellie was absolutely unfazed in her Jeans, T-shirt, and trucker hat. 

"You never got your licence?"

"No, it got taken away."

She cracks a grin "Jeez, what did you do? Hit a pedestrian?" Ellie teases.

"Something like that," Truthfully, my licence got revoked after I got a DUI and swerved my car off the highway, I was too high to realize the danger I was in and laughed the entire time warm blood pooled from a gash in my head that had to be stapled shut. Luckily my parents can throw money at anything and the problem will go away. 

She hops in the truck, there are little bits and pieces of it that show how it's lived in. A rubber duck with sunglasses sits on the dashboard and I'm partially surprised it hasn't melted in the sweltering heat. 

As beautiful and scenic as the drive down to the docks is, it's also extremely awkward, only on my end, Ellie seems completely unfazed. Travelling down the dirt roads until we finally hit the pavement. 

The salty breeze of Andromeda Cove carries conversations of clubbing and tanning, mingling with the sweet scent of coconut sunscreen and sea salt. Colourful beach umbrellas dot the shoreline. Seagulls glide effortlessly overhead, their calls blending seamlessly with the distant laughter of beachgoers. Quaint shops and cafes line the bustling boardwalk, offering an array of surfboards, souvenirs, and freshly caught seafood delicacies.

The Cove was immune to those gross and bland modern buildings that looked like something I would've made in Minecraft as a kid. Everything down here was local and kept its charm even after all these years. "Do you ever miss it here?" 

"I don't remember much of it to be honest."

"Really?" She asks, taking a turn down to the docks "It doesn't seem like it was that long ago."

"Yeah, my memory just isn't very good." My lungs are burnt and my brain is fried. You could tell me that I was in cheerleading for five years of my life and I would probably believe you. 

"Alright." 

I hadn't remembered her being this quiet but then again I don't remember much, I should probably write down everything I can before Alzheimer's sets in. There are lapses in my mind where memories should live, I recall my life through glimpses.

Ellie takes her keys out of the ignition and hops out of the truck, leading me down the docks. I keep guessing in my head which boat belongs to her and then the second I spot it, I know and how I dread. It's a sailboat or what's left of one, sharpie graffiti scribbled all around it. The word 'wanderlust' had once been titled along the side though the first half was scratched out by what I assume were those teenagers Joel mentioned so it just said 'lust'.

Ellie had no problem climbing aboard, I on the other hand had doubts that it could support the weight of two people, let alone itself. There were chips of white paint scraped off, Ellie motioned for me to get on deck  "How long has this been abandoned?"

She waves me off  "There's freedom that comes with abandonment."

I raise an eyebrow "Sinking in a boat that's docked is a very lame way to die."

"Nah," She says "We can haunt the marina."

She holds out her hand for me to take it and with hesitation, I do. Stepping over the gap between the dock and the boat, I haul myself over the rails. Even in the dark, I could make that climb, it was almost like muscle memory from working at my parents marina summer after summer. "She's a beauty, yeah? In her own special kind of way," Ellie pats the side of the companionway. "I actually made some progress on it last summer, if you can believe me."

"I don't know if I can," I look around, following her as we duck into the saloon.

She reaches for a notebook with a pink sharpie clipped onto it on the table of the saloon and turns to face me "Whoever was here must've been a real wordsmith, what I can't figure out is how the words got out of the notebook and onto my walls." 

I crawl onto the cushioned V-berth to get a better look at all of the writing on the walls. Most of it had been poetry, not Edgar Allen Poe but the kind that only an angsty teenage girl on the verge of a mental break could've written. 

The Statue of Juliette:

May I ask what you have done to women?

That your hands have only learned to harm one

Hand after filthy hand

Is dragged

Groped

Caressed

Prodded

Over my rusted skin

The things I have seen

The things I have endured

No water can clean me

No blanket can warm me

Take a hammer to my bronze flesh

And I will thank you for your kindness

As my body crumbles and clatters against cobblestone

I am eternally grateful

For this is the gentlest act I have ever faced

"I know," Ellie says, and I look back to meet her sharp gaze "A real Sylvia Plath.”

"Is this your candle?" I reach for it on the ground, it's halfway through its life. A vanilla bean bath and bodyworks candle.

She takes it from my hand and gives it a sniff "I was wondering why it smelled so good in here, I just thought that was you." She places the candle back onto the saloon table "So, Neptune's daughter, where should we start?"

I snatch the notebook from the table and flip it open to a page clean of any writing. It takes a little less than fifteen minutes to seek out all of the trouble spots. Ellie followed behind me and nodded to everything that I was saying. 

The boat isn't in nearly as bad of condition as I expected. I suspected that the teenagers who occupied it while Ellie was away at college had all been girls, they took relatively good care of the boat aside from the graffiti, allegedly most of the damage had been there when Ellie got it from Tommy a year ago.

We now sat next to each other in the booth around the saloon table, the ocean rocked the boat beneath us ever so gently, the same way a mother would rock her child's cradle. I missed the sea when I was in college, on a bender I had driven three hours just to be back with it, it seemed the only safe place to let go and be reborn. I liked the sharpness of the air, the vastness of the horizon and the mystery beneath it. I thought I would rise from the seafoam a new woman the same way Aphrodite did but no, I threw up on the sandy shores and called my parents to make it go away.

I give the notebook over to Ellie, a new entry written in bright pink Sharpie amongst the poetry and anecdotes. 

Wanderlust's issues:

Mainsail and jib seem sketchy; Unfold the hoist for a full assessment

Wiring issues are out of my hands but a probable concern-should probably call in an expert

Nav instruments are cracked

Leaks on starboard window, probs cracked moulding

Interior woodwork is original, mainly solid despite a bit of mildew

Graffiti and chipped paint, graffiti likely cleanable (May need a new coat of paint)

Possible rigging issues

Underside? That's a question for the experts

Final Verdict: Wanderlust is a seaworthy vessel in need of some love

Ellie lets out a low whistle "God, I love a girl who knows the difference between a mainsail and a jib." She cracks a mischievous grin.

"You're teetering very close between sexy and crass," I tease her in return.

She seems a little taken aback by my comment, like she hadn't anticipated a response but ignores it nonetheless "What would it take to make you my first mate?"

"I'm sorry?"

"For someone with a bad memory, you seem to know your boats, Joel said that you used to work on charters. You gotta know more about sailing than me. It'll be a fun summer project, get you out of the house a bit."

I furrow my eyebrows as I look at her "You want me to work on the boat with you?"

Ellie nodded. She didn't rush to fill the silence that stretched between us, she didn't bother to sweeten the deal or hunt for some reason I would like working with her. She just let it stand. I looked her in the eyes, trying to figure her out. She goes from being almost non-verbal with me and now she asks me to spend the summer on a boat with her. I wondered if she knew what she was doing at all and if I would be carrying her through this.

I had a feeling that Ellie would become my next bad habit. It's easy to get addicted when everything interests you and nothing satisfies you. "I'm in."

"You won't regret this," Ellie almost jumps up, I swear I could've seen her making calculations in her head "So, I'm thinking we get rid of all this junk and get a good look at it bare bones, make a list of supplies and give her the spa day shes in desperate need of."

On my second day as first mate, I had been scrubbing away inside of the saloon while Ellie did some work on the exterior, my Scrub Daddy was being put to work. By the time I even made a dent in all of the Sharpie poetry, it was nearly falling apart and begging to be killed.

When I emerged from the companionway to replace my filthy bucket of water I spotted Ellie chatting up a girl on a dock. She had long glossy black hair that cascaded down her back in strategic ringlets. "So you're gonna sail on this thing?"

"Rebuilding her first," Ellie tells her, leaning against the railing. The girl she's speaking to looks like she's freezing, denim shorts cropped high and a white tank top.

"Do you need help?" She smiles and even I'm seduced by it. She has tanned skin that she's clearly been working on and sunglasses pushing back the silky hair from her forehead. "I've been on boats, lots of times," Her arms are crossed over her chest. I can see goosebumps all over her legs from the chill brought to us by the gray sky above and the frigid air. 

"That so?" Ellie asks, rising to her full height. A wrench in hand, it looks like the beginning of a really bad movie, not a family-friendly one. She saw me then, standing behind her. I watched her facade drop. Her smile changed as I approached, turning from flirt to friend in two seconds.

"Oh, hey," The black-haired girl regards me like I'm some kind of threat. "So do you need help or what?" 

Ellie looks at me and then back to her "Thanks for the offer but we're all set."

"Do you maybe wanna grab lunch or something?" She completely ignores me.

Ellie shakes her head "We've got lots of work to do, but-" She takes a deliberate pause and I almost cringe "I'll probably be at the shipwreck later. Stop by if you're around."

"See ya'," She grins and takes the sunglasses off the top of her head, placing them on the nose bridge before walking back down the dock.

"Wow," I dump my bucket of water over the rail of the boat "Looks like super difficult work out here, you are so brave." Sarcasm drips from my tone "Without you, who will flirt with all of the hot girls at the marina?"

"No need to be jealous," She says "I'm spending every waking minute with you after all."

I gave her the evil eye but I truly wasn't jealous. I didn't chase the thrill of a fling or late nights with girls whom I would forget by morning. I had dropped that by college and replaced it with ketamine and opioids, I abused liquor like I was its two-faced love. Now the only thing I chased was calmness. 

I wasn't jealous, just briefly reminiscing over how carefree I used to be. 

The tide was rolling and the sky above us was gray and angry as if something was raging within it. "Shit," I mutter, waves shifting from a distant hiss to a closer hush. The air hung heavy, I hadn't even noticed the change in weather from what seemed like the century I spent scrubbing away in the saloon. 

Ellie must've noticed what I was. "So, I'm thinking we should go?"

"You think?" I retort.

Moments later we're packed and rushing down the dock to find her truck. It doesn't take long for rain to begin to splatter on the ground beneath us, it isn't light and gentle, it's harsh. It sounds like pebbles being tossed onto a sheet of glass.

By the time we reach the truck, I'm soaked, hair sticking to my forehead and neck "You didn't want to poke your head into the saloon and say 'Hey, it's looking like there's gonna be a storm'?" 

"I was a little preoccupied," Ellie isn't much better off than I am, she takes off the flannel she had on top of her tank top and tosses it into the backseat, her tattoo out on full display. The rain is so heavy that everything on the outside of her truck looks like a blur. 

"Can you even drive in this?"

"No, can you?"

"No, I told you I have a DUI," The second the words leave my mouth I regret the slip-up. My eyes go wide and a hand slaps over my mouth, I'm acting like I just told her I was the one who took out JFK.

"You didn't tell me that."

"Well," I look forward, ignoring her piercing gaze, "I thought I did."

If not for the rain outside that pounded against the glass as if it wanted to be let in, we would've sat in complete silence while we drowned beneath all of the words going unsaid. My mind begins to wonder, first I think of the black-haired girl at the docks; I hope she didn't get stuck outside in the rain, especially with her lack of clothing. Then I think about what Ellie's thinking, did she know already? Had Joel told her? I'm humiliated all over again like I'd been when the paramedics dragged my half-naked body out of a bathtub.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" She asks. I don't say anything and she takes this as a hint "We don't have to talk about it."

I'm beginning to grow comfortable with the silence. I almost preferred it to the back-and-forth banter Joel and Ellie constantly had, which was more so father and daughter teasing each other.

Joel had probably known more about me than I did, my parents liked to keep him filled in after all. They just loved to keep tabs on me, if it was legal I'm sure they would put cameras behind my retinas and watch my every move. Eight months ago when I was in rehab, that was the most peace I've ever felt. As much as my parents wanted me clean, they held resentment since I ruined my life and was destroying theirs by association. Joel didn't seem like the type to gossip to his daughter but it nagged at me regardless. "Did Joel tell you anything?"

"What do you mean?"

"Just-like," I search through my brain to find the words "Like what I've been up to?"

She shrugged "He just said you are on a deferral and need a break from the city."

"Okay," I say, my voice so quiet it was almost smothered by the obnoxious rain. 

"Are you hungry?"

We had thrown on two jackets Ellie had in the back seat of the cars. She offered me Joel's black raincoat while she humbly took the bright yellow rain poncho. It took everything in me not to laugh at her, she looked like Georgie.

Ellie slung one arm around me, we were both hunched over as we ran as fast as we could. She was shouting stuff at me but I couldn't hear her through the rain, I just nodded in agreement and hoped she hadn't said something awful.

She tugged me left, the deluge chasing us into Salty's for cover. It was nearly dead in there, two other tables, one was an elderly couple and the other was a group of girls, laughing like hyenas while one of them showed the others a picture on her phone.

Ellie wasted no time in taking off her poncho and I didn't blame her, no one wanted to be seen in that. The second we settled into a booth by the huge glass window which took up the entire storefront, an over-eager waiter came up. He was tall, had dark hair and had handsome features, he must've been bored with how slow it was in here. "Hey, Jesse," Ellie said "Can I have water and a big-buck burger?"

He nodded and swerved his body to look at me, "Alright and for you-" He looked up from his notepad and paused for a moment before a huge smile cracked on his face "I haven't seen you in so long!" 

"Hi," I smiled, my mouth hanging openly awkwardly as I tried to recall him.

"Do you remember me?" He asked, his hand dropping to his side "Jesse," He reminded "We used to go to school together."

I had no idea who he was "Oh my god, yes!" I say "I remember."

His smile grows "God, you look so different."

"You too," I gesture at him "You're way more-" My mind falls flat "Grown."

He nods along to my words "Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

Wanting this conversation as soon as possible I nod despite not even opening the menu “Yeah, I'll just get the, uh, big-buck and a club soda.” I repeated Ellie's order.

He jots it down onto his notepad "It'll be right up."

"Ellie, I don't know who that is," I say when I see him retreat to the server station to fill in the order. The entire restaurant is nautical-themed, the walls painted black, and there were nets with faux fish covering every square inch of the ceiling.

"Wow, I had no idea," She says, sarcastically "Damn, your memory really is fucked." 

Trust me, I know or at least I think I do. I disregard her comment "Water? Don't you wanna get rootbeer or something? Joel said you drink so much soda that your blood is made of corn syrup."

She grins "Gotta keep up the tough guy act."

Across the restaurant one of the girls waves to Ellie, this one has curly brown hair and a sundress "Hi, Ellie!"

Her eyebrows furrow "Hey there-um...you," Ellie said "Good to see you again."

The girl smiles slyly at Ellie before turning back to her friends. "Looks like I'm not the only one forgetting people, what's your excuse?"

"There's a lot of girls in the world, I can't remember all of their names."

"You must've gone through every girl in the cove, power to ya'," I say "No idea you had such a reputation."

"You don't know a lot about me."

I shrug "You know even less about me."

"I bet I could guess."

"Be my guest."

She leans back like she's carefully considering her next words, choosing them very wisely before she finally settles "You picked a major like communications and got bored quickly, decided you needed to do some soul searching. Probably read 'Eat, Prey, Love,' then went on a backpacking trip, expenses paid by your parents. Alternatively, you lived in a van and pretended to be a broke hippie."

I shook my head "Very cliche and you were only right about one thing."

"What?"

"I got bored quickly," The rain outside was failing to cease. Across from me, it looked like Ellie was calculating my every move. Her auburn hair was still wet, and from her hairline, a droplet of water dribbled down onto her button nose to rest on her cupid bow.

"Can I have a hint then?"

"No."

I see a realisation hit her "You partied with frat guys?"

I shook my head "I've always been too cool for them." I wasn't too cool for them, I was too fucked up to even know they were throwing a party until someone verbally informed me, by that point all I've ever done at a frat party was break in through a window and steal a keg like the disgusting fiend I was. It was nothing to be proud of, my friends thought it was hilarious and posted it on their Snapchat stories, egging me on and feeding into this sickening behaviour. What wasn't funny was how I got caught and winded up with a busted lip and broken rib. With pupils the size of my iris, I couldn't feel the pain I was in.

"Okay, now you have to tell me."

"I can't, I lose my mysterious allure."

The bell above the door chimes signalling the arrival of another customer and said customer makes a b-line for our table. She takes a seat next to Ellie "Jesse texted me that you were here.”

"Dina, were you at work?" Ellie furrows her eyebrows.

"Yeah, it's not like anyone's buying souvenirs right now and Jesse told me you finally came back," She whips her head to look over at me.

I genuinely remembered her, unlike Jesse. She had buried the time capsule with Ellie, her family and I. I also recalled how her older sister used to give us hand-me-down clothes. "Dina, hi."

She has freckles scattered across her face the same way that Ellie does. Her smile was so comforting, I forgot that I was soaked to my bones and shivering. "Well we should all do something together tonight," Dina grins "You're doing Ellie a huge favour by helping her fix that rig, she better give you some good head for it."

I almost choke on my saliva while Ellie just groans with disappointment like she had anticipated Dina saying something along those lines "D, you can't say that stuff around every girl I'm with, this is essentially my sister for the summer."

Dina raises her hands in defence "Sorry, my bad, I was unaware since you failed to mention that you have my old friend living with you." Ellie looks like she's going to say something but Dina speaks up again before she has the chance to "Let me give you my number."

Wordlessly, I hand my phone over to Dina who fills out her contact information and then gives my phone right back to me. I study Dina's face and her mannerisms, hoping that something might bring me back to my childhood which has been wiped away by every upper and downer you could put a name to. Something about her seemed familiar, maybe we had been closer friends than I thought.

I nod along to whatever she and Ellie are saying, chiming in random bits of dialogue but my mind is stuck on the two of them side by side. They're what I could've been if my family never moved us away and I hadn't turned my brain into sludge.

The life I could've had.

 Ellie smoked from what I knew, maybe Dina or Jesse were into something a little more hardcore. Hardcore? If hardcore qualifies as drowning in a concoction of cough syrup, Vicodin, codeine, and Gatorade to balance out the flavour of self-destruction. The bottles I swallowed to sleep, I showed up to almost every lecture high. Here I was handed what was nearly a good life and I tossed it away for something with a sweeter taste than a stable job and proper education.

The horrors I've committed. No good deed will ever outdo the bad that I have unleashed upon this godforsaken earth. From my clouded brain, paralyzing thoughts come to life to curse myself, the nightmare no mother would wish for her child to endure. 

Relapse after relapse, I would fall sick with the thought of how many times I had to relapse until I was finally clean and that bitter flavour washed from my mouth.

"Are you okay?" Dina asks with a smile and furrowed brows "We kind of lost you there."

It's one in the morning and I want to drink wine then slip beneath the rapid waters that will gladly pull me under and claim me as theirs.

Instead, I opt for a class of water. As Dina had said earlier, she wanted to get a bunch of friends together but the second we got home, I showered and locked myself away. Echoes of laughter and chatter drifted through my window.

I slip down the steps that lead to the kitchen. Outside the rain has finally dissipated and Ellie, Dina, Jesse, along with a handful of people I don't know crowd around a bonfire. The kitchen is illuminated only by moonlight, the moon hung over me as I poured myself water from the tap, a dead thing over a dying thing. 

I have seafoam in my veins and centuries-passed sunshine that induces my craving for some pills that will put me to sleep. Three months completely clean and yet that doesn't end the yearning for the drugs that comforted me more than any human ever had. 

The door cracks open and in comes Ellie, she's laughing and from the uncontrollable giggles, drowsy gaze, and slightly disoriented walking I can tell that she's been smoking. "Hey," She smiles at me, reaching passed me to grab a mug with Garfield on the front and fill it with water but she doesn't take a sip, she just sits it down on the counter behind us and stares at me.

Our faces only inches apart, I contemplate her next move. This close I can smell the marijuana on her and I almost want to scuttle upstairs and light a candle. Ellie hugs me, wrapping her arms around my midriff and letting her head find its resting place in the crook of my neck "Are you okay?"

"Mhm" She hums "I'm just glad you're here, whatever the circumstances are, I'm happy that you're helping me with the boat," I'm carrying almost her full way, and she's slouched against me "I love you man, I know you don't remember a lot from when we were kids but we had a lot of fun together."

"Thanks, Ellie," I give her a little pat on the back "That's really nice of you."

She peels herself away from me, using the counter to lean against instead. She looks me up and down, having an intense staring contest with my pyjamas "Do you wanna come out and smoke with everyone?" She's shed her tank top and thrown over a gray hoodie to shroud her from the oncoming cold.

I shake my head, no "I don't mess with that stuff."

"That's smart," She says "Have fun in your room, stowaway, I'll see you tomorrow to work on our boat," With that Ellie leaves without grabbing the Garfield mug she came in here for.

A/N: Hey, y’all. I’m aware I have a million open docs, I assure you they are all getting some love but I needed to come back to my roots and write some angst. These are some issues I have struggled with and I feel that it’s important to bring attention to it so it’s not taboo.

[seasgrimoire]

Veiling for the Lazy,

Now, I want to veil to cover the crown of my head, the highest point for purely spiritual reasons.

Now, here's the thing, I am lazy. I don't have the energy to do a full headwrap, I am also not Muslim nor modest dressing in any way. The Christian laced veil defeats the whole purpose in my mind? and I'm also not Christian. So that left me thinking... how do I veil?

Veiling does not need to be elaborate

You do not need this elaborate reason for wanting to veil. If you want to, that's enough reason! So, I come bearing four cost friendly and easy accesible options that are also lowkey if you are in the broom closet or just not ready to let anybody know!

Hats

They are simple. They are cute. They come in many sizes, colors, and can match any outfit. This is the most undercover option there is. It's the safest. Hats are everywhere. Dollar store, thrift shops, online. It is impossible not to find a hat in a store. And it's also the most versatile option out of them all? It's so simple. Break the veiling mold. Go wear hats to match your outfits. And since I only want to cover the top of my head, it's perfect for me. And I love a good summer hat..

Head scarves

This one is a bit more obvious if you want to keep the down low profile.. but it has many different versatile styles for it. and the patterns? the colors? oh, there are so many options for this. And MANY are silk, so it won't ruin your hair, and it is a very good protective option. It's also cheap, and you can buy in bulk online or go to a beauty shop and find SO many options. I think 5 below and the dollar store even have some, but let's not quote me on that.. now is this perfect for me? I want something i can do in a minute or less.. and for some, this is a perfect option! not quite for me!

Durags

Very simple, cost efficient. Not many ways of styling, but it comes in so many colors! This is also a good down low option for veiling. It's cheap, can be found almost everywhere, and nobody will really question or blink an eye at wearing it in public.

Bandanas

This is very cute, low effort, extremely down low. You can crochet some, handsew, go to the dollar store, its cost efficient, upcycling friendly too! Turn old shirts into bandanas. Tye dye! And you can wear it and a few different styles too! Perfect for any season, any gender, covers the crown of the head perfectly.

Veiling doesn't need to be hard

Literally, I think this broke down some stigma around what I viewed and how others talked about veiling. How they had to work up to it, had to ask spirits, deities, it seemed like I had to do those same steps if I wanted to be respectful.. to who? If you once again, want to veil, just do it. Nobody should stop you even if you aren't out. Your financial situation shouldn't stop you. Once again, you can search up how to cut a bandana and light the ends so it doesn't fray, free bandana.

So now, I don't really have an excuse on why I'm not veiling, I'll definitely try out the options that I have at home, and as someone that crochets and knits, bandanas are a quick way to use up small bundles of yarn on.

Also! Are there any other ways people veil? I heard of using hoodies, but that's not exactly a year round.. solution?

[rabbitindisguise]

Coming to fountain pens after being into fiber crafts so far long is comical in its size difference. Like yes hello I'm a ball of 30 meters of yarn and I won't even make a scarf. Meanwhile the humble 15 ml of ink in the bottle will easily write 600+ pages using a fine or medium nib. You get people going like "oh god . . . I bought too much ink, I'll never finish it all in my lifetime" about a box smaller than a suitcase, while a crafter is going to the local craft store for the nth time and has a closet overflowing with yarn (the wrong kind)

And like, I think this reflects how we undervalue some aspects of our lives under capitalism because once you actually stop to consider things long term, a shirt that gets torn in less than a year is worth less than a shirt that's $50+ in materials and 20+ hours of unpaid labor. Because that shirt will last forever!! It will last so long you'll be like "ffs I wish I could get rid of this the style is outdated and it doesn't fit me properly anymore." And yet. The short term one IS more expensive when you divide the cost over the years it lasts. That's not just cope, that's Vimes boots theory right there. The fun part where you knit/sew/etc it all yourself is an additional benefit that obscures how much value a handmade shirt (no matter how shittily) has in material life.

With things that are optional, where you can do it the more efficient but not necessarily less costly way, you no longer have to rely on a company to produce the things you need for it. If your gel pen dies an untimely death by its ink running out, and you find you they don't make those refills anymore, you have a plastic casing with nothing new to put in it and no pen to write with. With fountain pens you have a converter option that frees you from proprietary products. It's basically open source handwriting. You can even hand make your own ink (professionals course, do not attempt) so even if you're stuck in the woods you can still write with it if you had the foresight to write down the recipe.

And uhhh what are some other "luxury" hobbies that are just doing things without a subscription model . . . physical journalling/mail doesn't require electricity, film photography doesn't require software updates, typewriters can make things legible without relying on a computer, physical art doesn't rely on software either, hand sewing can work without electricity and you can do more complicated/stronger techniques, etc etc. Basically: electricity isn't bad, but being beholden to a corporation (as we know with AI) who can put a stranglehold on it and remove your capacity to do that task independently is bad. Acoustic hobbies- even if they don't amount to anything from a survivalist or independence from society sense- give people greater autonomy in important areas of their lives that they can leverage when people put in price raising measures. And that's ✨ priceless ✨

Important edit: I don't think "investment pieces" are valuable though. The value of an acoustic hobby is not if you can sell it, it's if companies can't sell to YOU. A mistake people get tripped up on us the $10,000 purses and shit that's just markers of wealth. Hobby value bottoms out low and you're immediately destroying any resell value it has by using it so like. If it isn't materially worth the money you spend on it then it's a ripoff. (Example: fancy decals you don't want? Rip off. Unnecessary gold accents? Rip off. Etc)

[ub-sessed]

More swatching.

The woman for whom I'm making the Isobel Wrap is my boss. A few weeks ago the power went out at work, and so to kill the time somewhere warm until the power came back on, we spent a couple of hours at our favourite café at the corner, and I worked on one of my yellow moss stitch dishcloths. She admired the moss stitch pattern (which made me happy, since it's going to be part of the scarf I will eventually make for her), and asked me if I could knit her a couple rectangles of moss stitch for her to sew to a blanket she has that's too small. I adore her, so I said yes, as soon as I figure out how to knit it square, and asked which yarn she wanted me to use. She said the cotton. We only sell two cotton yarns in our store, and I'm pretty sure she meant the 24/7. I have a bit left over from a dishcloth, and I can't start the actual scarf until I've blocked my latest scarf swatch, so I figured I'd knit a blanket swatch for my boss so she can see what it's like (I personally think it would be nicer in the Patons Canadiana, but I haven't seen the blanket she's trying to match).

Anyway, with the Premier Anti-Pilling Everyday, I have to alternate Western and Eastern rows to get my moss stitch to come out square, but it would appear that that is not the case with this Lion Brand 24/7. I'm gonna frog it this and start over knitting the whole thing Eastern.

I haven't used these Prym Ergonomics in years: they were perfect for learning how to knit, but nowadays they're too grippy for acrylic, or not pointy enough for lace, or too large for dishcloths. But they are wonderful for knitting cotton Continental/Norwegian: they're not too slippery, they don't split the yarn, and they're so good at picking the working yarn. I'm using them because for this swatch I'm actually using the needle size recommended on the ball band (I always size down for dishcloths), and I like them so much that I might actually buy a smaller pair for future dishcloths?

I'm pretty sure my boss has figured out that the scarf I'm making is for her: she's seen the yarn (her favourite colour) and she knows I know she loves scarves, and she's heard my whole saga of how I originally wanted it to be a Christmas present but then I went to NY and then I couldn't get the damn moss stitch to come out straight. She suggested that I make it a birthday present instead. "Maybe your friend's birthday is in the fall." (Her birthday is in the fall.)

[burntheedges]

get to know your moots

thank you for tagging me @ace-turned-confused @kedsandtubesocks @sawymredfox @iknowisoundcrazy @jeewrites @katareyoudrilling @ghotifishreads 🧡 I freaking love these lol I know it's been a minute but hi, here I am.

what's the origin of your blog title?: username and title are both from a Hozier song, Eat Your Young (because "I'm starving, darling" is how I feel about Joel Miller)

OTP(s) + shipname: alright I've been reading fic since I was 12, here are some of the highlights in vaguely chronological order - Dramione (but like, in the 2000s, lmao), Drarry, Sterek, Johnlock, Arthur/Eames, Stucky, Stony, Sirmione, Wolfstar, Damen/Laurent, 00Q, Spirk, PPCU/reader, Rookanis, DinLuke

favorite color: orange

favorite game: Dragon Age Veilguard, Dragon Age Inquisition, the Mass Effect trilogy, Stardew Valley, BOTW, TOTK

song stuck in your head: Not Like Us, Kendrick Lamar

weirdest habit/trait?: hmmm my husband would say it's no outside clothes allowed on the bed, but I don't think that's weird. probably biting my cuticles. 😬

hobbies: knitting, sewing, writing, gaming

if you work, what's your profession?: let's not talk about work lmao

if you could have any job you wish what would it be?: I don't wish for work lol but maybe owning a book store or yarn shop.

something you're good at: languages, parallel parking, overextending myself

something you're bad at: not overextending myself. feeling my feelings.

something you love: talking to people who love the same things I love 🧡, going to concerts

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: knitting, linguistics, languages, video games, hockey

something you hate: everything going on right now in the US

something you collect: hmm I used to collect a lot of things and then I moved across the country multiple times and got tired of having stuff. books, probably lol

something you forget: anything that's not in my calendar

what's your love language?: fyi the love languages book is fundamentalist nonsense BUT I do feel very loved when my husband does what they call acts of service (which he knows). that's what I tend to do by default, too, but he likes when I use my words.

favorite movie/show: LOTR, Ever After, Deep Space 9, The Matrix, Clueless, Inception, TLOU, The Mandalorian, Skyfall, Pacific Rim, CA:TWS, Andor, so many others lol

favorite food: pasta, a perfect caeser salad, sopes, sushi

favorite animal: cats. also hippos, those big dorks

are you musical?: I was kicked out of band lol but I was in a singing group in high school and another later. I can read music ok

what were you like as a child?: looking back, obviously unmedicated for ADHD, lmao. but extroverted and hyperaware, really

favorite subject at school?: languages, and then history

least favorite subject?: science, but mostly because some of my teachers sucked and I was socialized to think I was supposed to be bad at it

what's your best character trait?: probably my empathy?

what's your worst character trait?: not taking the time to think (I'm working on it)

if you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be?: I want my cold to be gone lol

if you could travel in time who would you like to meet?: ETA just realized I never answered this one. I spent a lot of time thinking about it and I'm still not sure!

recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!):

I have yet again begun to reread Be-All and Endor by @djarins-cyare because it brings me comfort (which I've needed lately) 🧡

A new favorite is The Morning Commute by @iknowisoundcrazy -- speed!AU Javi! god I love it

I think a lot of people have already done this, but in case you haven't, np tagging: @maggiemayhemnj @secretelephanttattoo @schnarfer @the-mandawhor1an @sixhours

@@davnittbraes @wannab-urs @justagalwhowrites @beardedjoel @futuraa-free

[unconventionalmakes]

I have just uploaded a new revised version of my Plush Heart pattern! It and the original version are still available for free on my Ravelry store. It's been a work in progress for a while and I finally feel settled and like it's complete. I'm open to correcting errors if it has any in the future but I feel very good about keeping this as the edition of this pattern, no more revisions or facelifts :)

So go snag yourself this pattern in time for Valentine's Day, it's free and only takes a scrap amount of yarn and an afternoon to make! And please don't judge the original, I'm also leaving it up as proof of improvement 😅 I wrote it in 2019

[actual-sleeping-beauty]

WIP Wednesday

thanks for the tags @paperstorm and @alrightbuckaroo! today for wip wednesday i present to you: nothing! just kidding, i would never do that, i will show you the temperature blanket at the end of this post, but first i have to tell you about my next project that i have been trying to start for 87 years since september. (if you are just here for the blanket, skip to the bottom of the read more.)

so, back in the summer @carlos-in-glasses posted her version of the step by step sweater by florence, and i thought, hey, this would be lovely to make for my grandfather! but the pattern uses wool yarn, and the man will not hand wash a garment. everything he owns has to be able to go in the washer and preferably the dryer, although i could probably convince him to air dry a sweater. maybe.

so anyway, i'm on the hunt for either a cotton or acrylic yarn that is soft enough to be comfortable as a sweater and the right thickness. i have gauge swatched two different yarns at this point. the michael's stores have very limited selections within these parameters, there isn't a joann's close to my college town, and i won't shop at hobby lobby because of the rampant homophobia and smuggling of human remains. so i've been stuck for a while, just endlessly gauge swatching and getting frustrated. (for the non-knitters, a gauge swatch is where you knit a small-ish section to make sure your yarn is the right thickness and you're using the right size needles.)

so then randomly my cousin sends me a youtube short of someone saying they made this sweater with pound of love from lion's brand, which is an acrylic yarn! my yarn woes may be over! of course, the colors i need are not available at the michael's, but that's okay, we're going out on tuesday night and we can check to joann's then. so we go to joann's at like, 7:45. the sign out front clearly says it is open from 9-9. all the light are on inside. the doors, however, are locked. my mom and i stood there for like five minutes knocking on the door and waiting for someone to show up, but it was just locked and seemingly abandoned by whoever had been working there? so anyway i STILL don't have the yarn i need and i am starting to think the universe doesn't want me to make this sweater. luckily i am more stubborn than the universe and i will persevere.

and now, the 2022 temperature blanket! i have been working on this blanket for so long that two of the yarn colors i originally picked have changed formulas lmao. but if i had bought all the yarn i needed originally i wouldn't have any space in my closet for clothes, so oh well.

as a reminder, this is the first temperature blanket, which is january to june 2022. mug for scale. it's very stretched out because it is so heavy. i rarely get to use it now that i'm home because my family loves it and always steals it.

THIS is the current wip. it is currently july through most of october 2022. again, mug for scale. i am finally free from the purgatory of purple and red and now i get to enter endless yellow territory. yippee!

tagging: @whatisamildopinion @strandnreyes @thisbuildinghasfeelings @herefortarlos @welcometololaland @rmd-writes and whoever else wants to share!