#i'm going to fucking cry so bad
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"in the other universe, i could walk? but i didn't have a brother?"
"well, in this universe, i win"
#nowhere boys#felix ferne#oscar ferne#i'm fucking OBSESSED with their relationship#how felix consumes himself with guilt#but oscar unconditionally loves him#and chooses him over and over and over again#“do you think we're brothers in every universe”#i'm going to fucking cry so bad
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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I am always thinking TimJay thoughts related to the fact that they have matching scars from getting their throats slit, and not only that, but Jason slit Tim's throat first in an attempt to threaten Bruce, where Tim was nothing more than a pawn for Jason to use to emotionally manipulate Bruce.
batman (1940) #618
And then, just a little while later when Jason is trying to confront Bruce and do his whole dramatic moment with Joker in UTRH, and Bruce slits Jason's throat to stop Jason from killing the Joker.
batman (1940) #650
It makes me so Unwell. They have literal matching scars. When do you think Jason realizes it? When do you think, while running his fingers over the scar he has to always remind himself that Bruce was willing to jeopardize Jason's own life just to save the Joker, Jason realized it was the same scar *he* gave Tim? And does it click for him too, that he and Tim are a lot alike? Being used as pawns in Bruce's game? And for the first time he maybe understands Tim Drake, just another kid trying to get Bruce's attention and approval? And Jason did to Tim exactly what Bruce did to Jason? And that's part of what spurns on Jason's obsession with Tim, trying to "save" Tim from Bruce's ideology?
When they finally get together does it make Jason even more possessive? He put that mark on Tim and now he has his own to match. It's the closest to being understood and loved he's ever felt when Tim runs his fingers over Jason's scar at the same time Jason touches Tim's. Mirrors of each other, in a fun, fucked up little way.
#jaytim#timjay#batcest#tim drake x jason todd#jason todd x tim drake#necrotic festerings#i would've included the proper panel where the batarang slits jasons throat but i've gotta be so honest with you#i can't fucking take that panel seriously. the art is *so* bad. why does jason's face look like that.#it ruins what should be one of the most important moments in jason and bruce's history. everytime i look at it i either laugh or cry#anyway it makes me unwell that jason scars tim first bc i usually see ppl mix this moment up with the titans tower moment#which would make it post-utrh#but no it's from batman: hush which comes first which is so much more fun for me when it comes to jason coping#like first you have to handle knowing the man you saw as a father bataranged your throat to save the guy who killed you#and then you realized he incidently gave you a scar that now matches the scar you gave the replacement you fucking hate?#i'd also be so unwell about it i'd go beat tim's ass at titans tower.#in my timjay little mind this is the true state of jason's complicated weird feelings about tim#the realization they have the same scar forces him to reevaluate his gut reaction to tim's existence#and thus his spiral into obsession and testing tim then trying to recruit tim begins.#i did in fact post this instead of writing fanfic don't mind it. i'm having a time. i'm also avoiding doing dishes.#i like ships besides timjay i SWEAR they're just on the mind as of recent
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pros of being mostly immune to online impulse purchases: I can save my money and use it on more necessary things, like rent and groceries
cons of being mostly immune to online impulse purchases: I don't get to have The Thing
#sobbing crying etc etc. I'm okay just dumb#ordered a custom thing but the colors ended up looking different from how I thought they would. 0 dead 1 dying of Stupid About It (me)#it's still very cool in its own right and it was Expensive for us. it was just me fucking up and choosing the wrong color...#and there's no real way to request a different version without just. buying a new one basically#but the site is still having a sale and it's chewing at me so bad right now. but it's not something I can afford to impulse buy#and even if somebody did just plop a big donation/order a big commission etc etc right now I still couldn't justify it#because there are other things I should take care of first#instead of replacing something that's not technically broken. it's literally just not the color I thought it would be but aaaUUUUUUUGHHHH.#I'm just mad and sad and tired and stressed and should go to bed and stop thinking about it. it's fine. it's literally fine.#just kicking myself for it and about a billion other tiny stupid things right now.#storm speaking
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The beach at Yaffa is one of my favorite places in the world. We used to walk along this biiiiiiig stretch that went from Tel Ar-Rabee’a down to the old city in Yaffa and the sea was just. Right there. Honestly just sitting/leaning against the old stone wall that lines the walkway down on the Yaffa side of the beach was one of my favorite things in the world because you’d look out over the insanely blue water of the Mediterranean and see the minaret of the mosque down in the distance. People would fish and kids would ride their bikes and families would have picnics and it felt like being in another world. I miss it so much it makes me ache :(
i literally burst into tears not even a second after reading the first sentence. mashallah the beach sounds so so so beautiful i'm so happy you were able to enjoy it. i'm crying so hard over this ya rab this is so sweet and so heartbreaking to me. the pure joy of all the people and the atmosphere and the view sounds so lovely. i hope with my whole heart that you get to see the beach again. inshallah ameen
#thank you for sharing i genuinely needed this so bad#im crying really fucking hard right now ya rab i wish you could go see the beach again. i'm praying#thank you :(( ♥️
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sorry my post is just to complain but guys i literally hate adobe after effects. i can not explain to you the mental torture and how LOW it has brought my mental health because I *need* to use it for my post production class because it's "industry standard". ADOBE After Effects has made me write off the entire film and video production industry as a turn off and I never want to do it ever again.
The amount of times this has crashed on me where I lost everything? 5+ hours of work? 8+ hours of work? It's my fault for not saving sometimes but I also have auto-save on. it didn't save anything so im just left with nothing.
You want a trip to burn out town really quick? Use adobe after effects in an academic setting where you have no choice but to use this program.
I have never in my life TOUCHED a program SO TERRIBLE that it made me never want to do anything about that form of art/media EVER AGAIN
#I'm ALSO going in and out of the hospital these past few weeks so im just bawling and crying and crying over losing this project just now#because it was due 3 days ago#and i cant finish it becvause i loste verything#im sorry to everyone reading this i just feel like an insane person#like if i tried to explain this to someone theyd just tell me to stop crying and to get over it#anyway cannot recommend adobe after effects any fucking less#never join advertising/film industry i guess?#im so miserable right now. AE is a constant crasher#i also got a new computer with 18RAM instead of 8RAM and it still did this#does anyone understand why i cant stop talking about this#it makes no logical sense that our industry relies on adobe THIS fucking much that a program that is KNOWN to crash often#is an industry standard i hate it here#its been 3 months of this#im in so much fucking physical pain thats why im going to the hospital and then i come home to this constantly#guys im so tired i hate Adobe with a passion i hate it so much#mod stuff#from kris p#may delete later but i have bad memory so ill forget and just never do that#when i say its fun im lying to you for masking/show. im lying
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i love the bingge extra because it's like
the horror of realizing you're the dark universe version of yourself. the injustice of seeing this other version of yourself be happy and loved, seeing him be treated with such gentle tenderness from a person who only ever treated you with cruelty
bad sex.
#svsss#julianno#the little glimpses into bingge's perspective when he's watching them are so rough!!#the sqq he knew was cruel and cold and abused him#and so he got his revenge and became powerful and should have everything he wanted#and then he goes into this other universe#and he sees himself being fussed over by an sqq that is gentle and kind and worries about his wellbeing#an sqq that drains himself of his spiritual energy just to tend his wounds#an sqq that brushes his hair and answers with an indulgent hm? whenever he calls out to him#and how unfair is that? he has everything#but this other version of him is loved#and maybe that's all he wanted this whole time#augh.#and then binghe coming back from pidw's universe and saying he looked everywhere but couldn't find shizun#he had so many people at his side but he didn't have the person who mattered most#GOD. anyway. I have so many thoughts on this extra and I haven't even gotten into the bad sex!#i love how sqq is like FUCK HE'S HUGE. NO WAY I'M TAKING THAT.#and binghe is like maybe shizun should top 🥺 <- definitely something he has fantasized for a long time#and sqq is like wait no what if i hurt him i wouldn't be able to bear it. so he ends up bottoming anyway#also the fact that he's so tired by the end lskdjflksd old man.#he claims it was awful and yet he came twice. you are a liar ❤#reading these books after reading mdzs is very funny#going from wangxian fucking like rabbits and having very enthusiastic kinky sex#to binghe crying in the middle of sex and sqq being like If He Puts That Thing In Me I Think I'll Die.
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every day that i live without the $113 mens strap to strap pink plaid tripp pants (that you can unzip under the knee to turn them into shorts) is pain
#i've wanted them so fucking bad for like a year now and i have no hope of ever getting them lmao#they'd go SO fucking good with my melt-banana shirt i'm gonna cry for real
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i went to an animal shelter today with my kiddos (i teach preschool) and we donated food and other things. they took us to see the cats and i cried the entire time we were in there, then i cried the 30 minute drive home and then my mum asked how it went and that made me cry again
all this to say, dan and phil please upload today. do it for me and my horrible day
#my heart just hurt so so so bad#because i have 3 cats myself#and i love them with all i have#and to see those kitties with no homes and no one to love them#it just hurt me beyond any imagination#and i know that it's better for them in the shelter#they have food#they are safe#they have a roof over their heads#but it just fucking hurts to know they have no home to go to#that's why i don't look or touch strays on the streets too#not because they're dirty or whatever else#but because it hurts me so bad to give them that love and go away#because they don't know why you're going away#why you're not giving them any more love#and now i'm crying again#so#dan and phil please upload so i can feel better#dan and phil
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TW eye contact and swearing
Was watching a Terrible French series for my sister when I came across this banger scene and it just screamed THEM
Transcript under the cut !!
Clive : I'm not going to kill you for what you did to me or because you are and always will be a terrible prime minister. No, you are going to die because of Léonie Renond.
Bill Hawks : ... Who ? (Disappointed voter maybe ?)
Clive, listing the names of some of the explosion's victims : Léonie Renond. Renaud Mastri. Louise Berne.
Bill Hawks, off screen : Wait, hold on- I don't understand-
Clive, leaning in : OF COURSE you don't understand, you don't give a FLYING FUCK about any of this you son of a bitch !!!
#DRAWING FROM TODAY !!!! I'm finally drawing again guys I want to cry this is so wonky but I did it this stupid ass series inspired me!!#This series is sooooo bad and my favorite character (the Clive guy) is going away so rip#But this scene cracked me up and still does omg- it was SO uncalled for ???#'Wait- I swear I don't understand 🥺'#'Of fucking course you don't you stupid bitch -_-' HELP.#Oh if any of my French followers know which series this is no you don't. You are forgetting. You forgot#(Luckily there is practically no fandom. Literally one guy fending for himself. Bless his soul but I am NOT joining him this show sucks)#Anyway this scene takes place while Clive is trapping Hawks in the mobile fortress#In my head Clive told everyone to let him do it himself so he could taunt Bill/insult him lol#clive dove#Bill hawks#unwound future spoilers#lost future spoilers#(Just tagging the spoilers because this is removed from the game but not enough)#My art#TW : swearing#TW : eye contact
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Me as a non-american watching there be an actual struggle voting between a black woman and a convicted felon found guilty on 34 charges who has a history of being a homophobic, misogynistic, transphobic, racist, predatory danger to anyone with a pulse that isn't a cishet white man and finding out that he's somehow in the lead 💀
I know most politicians are so evil that they outlive the average joe because they are propped up by the puppet strings of Satan himself, but I'm kinda hoping he dies before he can make any real damage (for legal reasons this is a joke).
Anger and unsurprised astonishment aside, stay safe, y'all. Really hoping you guys are gonna be Ok. I'm going to be fuming extra hard on your behalves.
#election 2024#us elections#kamala harris#donald trump#harris sucks too btw but goddamn there's clearly a right and 100% definitely do NOT vote him wrong here like what is wrong with people#i wasn't planning to be back on tumblr at least for another week or two but this is so fucking bad#american politics are straight up fever nightmares#i can't really say much for comfort cuz i'm not living this but please get some rest eat something stay hydrated and try to keep busy#please vent your feelings on fanfics. please buy muffins from the store. please indulge in some yaoi/yuri. please hug your favourite blorbo#please cry if you have to. literally please survive through this. it's going to get worse before it gets better but you'll be ok. i think#momento rambles
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White supremacy is such a disease
#I feel so so bad about imane khalif#That white woman should have been hit way way harder if she was going to ruin imane's life with her white tears anyways#I'm genuinely baffled she's a boxer and she's crying about being hit? Like?#What a fucking joke
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hi I don't have anything horny I'm just imagining soft dabi on early mornings.....he lays there, holding you in his arms. he's half asleep, but forces his eyes open to be able to spend this time just holding you, with nothing to do. no responsibilities yet. the suns barely up so the world hasn't started and all he wants is to be here with you
he tells you things he's too scared to say when he's awake. Like how much he loves you, and how much he's scared of that. He traces your side with his hand and tells you how beautiful you are.
And maybe secretly he's hoping that..... One of these days you can hear him, that you're actually awake. He needs you to know how much you mean to him but he's so scared. So for now he'll just hold you, and talk to you while you're sleeping, hoping it seeps into your brain that way.
-🎃
look— no– listen!!!! why you gotta make me cry this way?? i just woke up and was still processing where the hell i am, then find this in my inbox like—
no, because why i felt relief and reassurance but also melancholy and sadness wash all over me??
you had no business making me weak this early in the morning, ohmygod– i might actually end up crying because of how much i love this man.
BUT THEN, imagine when you wake up after he leaves feeling his warm arms still around you and you keep earing inside your brain words that you (think) have never heard him say? you’re super confused, but also somehow reassured and there’s this little pang in your chest, then you miss him, feel like crying and want to see dabi, out of nowhere.
throughout the whole day there’s this sad feeling inside you that doesn’t let you focus on anything, until you get out of work and rush home hoping he’s there, waiting for and welcoming you.
once at home you see that he indeed is and suddenly your feelings start to pour out in form of tears under his confused gaze; poor boy is genuinely worried that you got hurt or somebody did something you and is ready to burn down whoever dared to lay a finger on you, but when you hug him begging for him to stay there with you dabi is even more dumbfounded.
his strong arms surround your waist and he holds you close to his chest petting your hair tenderly “i’m not going anywhere baby”, dabi keeps reassuring you while placing his lips on top of your head, eyes closed as his feelings for you only keep growing after this and he realizes for good that there’s no way back from them anymore now.
#kelin responds#answered#🎃 anon#bnha angst#mha angst#dabi angst#touya todoroki angst#bnha x reader angst#mha x reader angst#dabi x reader angst#touya todoroki x reader angst#I'M CRYING. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME??????? NOW TO WHOM DO I GO CRY TO ABOUT THIS?????? DABI ISN'T HERE WITH ME!!!!!#universe why would you EVER put us in different worlds??? that's so fucking mean???#i want to sleep hugging dabi so bad...
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You know, if you think about it, Dooku did technically die at a ripe old age, doing what he loved, surrounded by his grandchildren. And if you think about the fact that his headless, handless corpse got sucked out into Coruscant’s atmosphere during the breakup of the Invisible Hand, it’s not NOT dissimilar to the Serennian death rites where they place their dead on funeral moons that orbit Serenno, AND if you think about the fact that Coruscant and the Jedi Temple was really the only true home he ever knew for most of his life AND IF YOU THINK ABOUT…
#by doing what he loved I mean lightsabers#I do not actually think RotS Dooku was um doing so super great you know... overall?#that whackass Stover novelization literally has him CRYING in front of Sidious and needing to be told to compose himself before the duel#“I’m just so happy to lose on purpose to this kid I hate and go into whatever the fuck an honarable captivity means it’s soso fine”#Oh no okay I'm back to sad again#Being a Dooku stan is such a trip#a bad one#a specifically bad trip#count dooku
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right now i feel like , i would be happy if i could go to work, come home, have a few hours for hobbies, watch movies and read and go to concerts and do my thang on here on off days and get drunk sometimes in the evening like really i don't need more i don't want anything else
#so. it's beyond frustrating that i'm forced to study. i wish i could stop without consequences but now i can't stop#and i keep panicking because I don't want to do this and after failing like 3 times at the same thing i'm convinced i have no fucking idea#at all how to do this#and this is a bachelor's degree. it shouldn't be hard. to top it all off it's gonna be worth jack shit if i even get it#so not gonna lie if i have a moment to think i start feeling bad and it gets worse and worse and i don't know how to stop it 👍 and my#therapist ditched me lol#i don't think there is a way i can finish university. burnt out over it and so on and so forth#and i sit down to read and write and i just cry instead. and this has been going on for 3 semesters#not ideal!#kata.txt
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Guys do not fucking lie to me is Agatha All Along a good show or does it only have lesbians
#I gave up on mcu ages ago#I refused to sit through s2 pf Loki after realising the first 3 episodes were utter shit#'it has a great finale-' I don't give a shit I refuse to watch a bad show because the last episode may be worth it#I haven't watched a marvel product in so long#I am happy without them. I am living a good life without them.#should I trust marvel one more time?#Because I swear to God if the show sucks ass and its only redeeming quality are lesbians I am goinb to have a mental breakdown#and cry#so be honest with me. I beg of you.#do not look into your heart- use your brain#is it a show that's actually enjoyable to watch and won't make me burst capillaries because of plot holes#inconsistency no real motivation behind the characters' actions bad writing bad dialogues or a deus ex machina#that randomly saves the day at the end of it all#I am begging you to tell me the truth#think it like that: I'm like someone who hasn't smoked weed in years#out of their own volition and they're fine they're good#but then they arr at a party and everybody's smoking this stuff and they say it's the shit. It's the real shit.#so then you go you break your vow to yourself and you decide to try it. And it fucking sucks. Worst joint ever. Makes me wanna puke and cry.#do not let me smoke the worst joint ever. tell me the truth. please.#agatha all along#agatha harkness
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