#i'm getting moody and it's well after lunch again

[pomefioredove]

can I request house wardens + leech twins with a reader who doesn't eat enough bc Crowley doesn't give them enough for food, and they end up really ill and collapsing or something. I'm cravin some fluffy comfort rn, pls and thank you 🙏

I got you🫡🫡 as someone who's been through an eerily similar situation, I really liked this request

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ another crowley moment™️

type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, floyd, jade, kalim, vil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, mentions of food and not eating

Riddle wouldn't even have to like you to rush to your side. but he does like you, which makes it all the worse

after checking your vitals, you're in the infirmary. he's got doctors for parents, after all, and he knows that malnutrition is bad

he should have seen the signs...

with exams coming, he's been so busy, and he assumed that you were just tired from studying

but he can feel guilty later. right now, he needs to focus on you getting well again, and not killing Crowley

(then, of course, he'll look for some legal statute or clause that he can threaten Crowley with so you're fed properly)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Leona noticed you'd been acting a little weird lately, but watching you collapse still puts him in shock

luckily, Ruggie and Jack are nearby to help you to the infirmary, so Leona can focus on hunting Crowley down like an animal

there are very few times where Leona is particularly grateful for his status, but this is one of them. just one word on how his family will be hearing about Crowley's neglect, and the old bastard is begging him for forgiveness

even after that, Leona still sends Ruggie with snacks and drinks to Ramshackle

and if you ever scare him like that again, you'll regret it (lovingly)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

the news of you collapsing during flight lessons reaches Octavinelle rather fast. no one is particularly surprised, since Floyd had mentioned how easily you'd been bruising lately just the night before, but everyone is certainly worried

Azul is the first at your side, asking you all sorts of questions, worried sick. Jade has to remind him to give you space to rest, since you look exhausted (had you always had those dark circles? how could Azul have not noticed?)

now, Azul and the tweels could easily find a way to pressure Crowley, but they know better than to trust him

from now on, you'll be eating in the Mostro Lounge, free of charge

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

perhaps Kalim was just oblivious, because he really didn't think anything was wrong until you were suddenly on the floor in front of him

sure, you'd been a little moody lately, but he figured it was just a thing you were going through. and besides, you know that you can talk to him about anything... right?

Jamil hurries to check your pulse, and shouts for him to get the school nurse- which is jarring, because Jamil never shouts

when you explain everything to Kalim later, he feels... terrible. he should've known- no, he should've asked

Kalim insists you stay at Scarabia while you're recovering, and makes sure you have the most enriching, delicious meals money can buy

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Vil knew it was bad, but not this bad. if he had known you were on the verge of collapsing, he would've taken a firmer approach to getting you to eat

you're going to worry him to death someday, you know that?

after he's done verbally eviscerating Crowley, he'll insist on joining you at every meal. he'll eat at Ramshackle, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, if that's what it takes

he's subtle about it, at least

if he notices that your plate feels empty, he'll just take some food from his and put it on yours. gracefully, elegantly, without a word

you'll come home one day to see your kitchen stocked with vitamins, supplements, and apples (courtesy of Epel)

<3 and a note that says he'll treat you to dinner whenever you want

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

never scare Idia like that ever again. he wasn't even with you when you collapsed, and he STILL nearly had a heart attack

listen, he knows he's not a great role model when it comes to nutritional eating, but you have got to tell him these things. he would've had Ortho go get takeout! or something!

typical Crowley behavior, SMH. what does he think you are? a rabbit? even the school horses get treated better...

no way that Idia is going to even bother with that old fart, anyway. you want something? he'll get it for you. you don't even have to ask, he'll just send food to your place (and have Ortho check your vitals more often but shhh)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

I would not want to be in the room when Malleus finds out about this

not even the building. you know what? I'd steer clear of the whole island, because it will not be pretty

when you collapse in front of him, it feels like he's dying, too. the panic sets in, and he sends Lilia to look after you, and Silver and Sebek to escort you to the infirmary, and then he casually threatens to smite Crowley. obviously

if the students and staff of NRC thought Malleus was scary just being Malleus, he's terrifying when he's mad

(rest assured that you will be getting ten times the amount of food from now on)

it's thunderstorms for days after, but he never leaves your side

[arkon-z]

The people with whom I can gush to about my darling blorbos and the people whom I can cuddle irl don't overlap in any way and it's time I accepted that. There is no one singular person who is my perfect friend match; there is only 'close enough'.

If I want to invent an entire backstory dynamic about Purah and Robbie, or try to figure out if Korsica studied sinawali or escrima, it'll be via text or voice call with someone who lives in another time zone. If I want a bone-crushing hug that lasts a full minute with a genuine human, the one who gives it to me only knows as much about video games as they can skim from watching someone else play while they were scrolling Instagram on the couch.

Thinking that one single person can match up with me perfectly is false. Humans are too complicated and I am finally starting to understand this. I have spent all my life thinking that everything can be controlled and predicted and organized if I only knew the right pattern or formula. Turns out that's not true (and it's a real pain in the ass for me if I can't predict how a situation is going to go or how a person is going to act). You can never be 'perfect', only 'close enough.'

[cutielando]

celebrations are in order | m.v.

social media au

synopsis: in which you make the most of his third wdc

my masterlist

liked by maxverstappen1, francisca.cgomes and 3,291,483 others

yourusername feels so good being back at the paddock tagged: maxverstappen1

view all 857,313 comments

maxverstappen1 out of all the pictures you took of me...

yourusername i love these

maxverstappen1 of course you do

redbullracing Glad to have you back, Y/N!

francisca.cgomes MY WIFE BACK IN THE PADDOCK ❤️❤️

yourusername i missed you sooooooo much !!! ❤️❤️

lilymhe GIRL LUNCH !!!!!!

user1 THE PEOPLE'S WAG IS BACK IN THE PADDOCK

user2 all is well when Y/N is in the garage😩😩

alex_albon max will finally be in a good mood

maxverstappen1 i can read these, you know

yourusername that's why i'm here. we're all tired of moody max😔

maxverstappen1 I CAN READ THESE

user3 our good luck charm has arrived ❤️❤️

user4 like he needs a good luck charm to dominate the entire grid🥲

landonorris what took you so long?

yourusername some people have a life, you know?

landonorris not when you're involved in f1 they don't

yourusername you're lucky i like you, otherwise you would have received a rant 😠

maxverstappen1 i've received one. trust me mate, you don't want to be on the receiving end

yourbff still sad you didn't take me with you 😔

yourusername you are literally on the other side of the globe⁉️

yourbff i don't see your point

yourusername maxverstappen1 help me out here

maxverstappen1 i'm not getting between you two again

user5 Y/N, do you think Max will win the championship after this race?

yourusername i am keeping my fingers crossed, he has had an incredible season and i think he's going to do everything in his power to end it on a high🫶🏻

user4 so well said

user6 Y/N being there for his Championship title win >>>>

user7 i want a relationship like theirs:(((((

user8 if they ever break up, i'm going to stop believing in love😭

charles_leclerc it's nice to have you back, y/n. haven't seen you in a while

yourusername it feels so good to be back. life has been kicking my ass but I'M BACK BITCHES

carlossainz55 FORZA FERRARI

yourusername wow, too much dude...

charles_leclerc ...

maxverstappen1 ...

carlossainz55 ...sorry...

victoriaverstappen i've missed you so much!!!! so glad to have you back, the boys are excited to see auntie Y/N!!❤️❤️❤️

yourusername i can't wait to see my favorite little munchkins ❤️❤️❤️

maxverstappen1 what about me?

yourusername i’m sorry, babe. you can’t compete with lio and luka for this one

victoriaverstappen you could never compete with them

maxverstappen1 wow, betrayed by my own blood..

liked by yourusername, victoriaverstappen and 5,391,584 others

maxverstappen1 I cannot thank everyone enough. Being on this journey, achieving what we have achieved together this season has been incredible. A massive thank you to the team and for everything they do for us, a shoutout to my family for always supporting me and a special thanks to my Y/N. I couldn't have done any of this without you, I love you.❤️ tagged: redbullracing and yourusername

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yourusername watching you race and do what you love is my favorite thing. i'm proud of you beyond words and i can't wait to see what you do in the future. i love you so much❤️🫶🏻

maxverstappen1 thank you for being you🩵

redbullracing You are one of a kind, Max. Seeing you go down in history books right before our eyes is the biggest privilege. Let's finish the season on a high together and look forward to next year!💙 liked by maxverstappen1 and yourusername

landonorris well done, mate. the y/n effect was obvious

maxverstappen1 thanks mate

yourusername you're just jealous i didn't cheer you on as loudly

landonorris i'm deeply hurt, actually

maxverstappen1 dude, get your own cheerleader and stop trying to steal mine

yourusername boys, don’t worry, you know i support everyone almost equally

landonorris almost?

yourusername i’ll always be a redbull girlie at heart

schecoperez let's go!!! liked by maxverstappen1

user1 he did it for Y/N i'm sobbing😭😭😭

user2 UNSTOPPABLE MAX STRIKES ONCE AGAIN🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻👏👏👏👏🩵

user3 the tribute to Y/N had me in tears >>>>>>>>>>>

user4 they are such a power couple😩😩😩💙

user5 the season was boring, max is taking all the fun out of the sport by winning all the damn time💀

yourusername he deserves every single win that he gets, he's good. if you believe the sport is boring, don't watch it. stop hating on drivers just because they are successful, you have no idea what it's like to be in their shoes

user2 PERIOD👏👏👏

user1 QUEEN ATE AND LEFT NO CRUMBS👸🫶🏻

user3 YOU TELL THEM Y/N

victoriaverstappen we're so proud of you, Max. you're truly one of a kind🩵

maxverstappen1 i love you guys❤️

yourusername you guys are making me cry😭😭

maxverstappen1 baby, you literally just stopped crying a minute ago

yourusername I CAN’T HELP IT OKAY⁉️⁉️

alex_albon max once again making all of us look bad

maxverstappen1 i’m sorry man

yourusername you don’t need his help for that

alex_albon ouch

user9 BABABAHAHQHQHQHQ Y/N WAS SUCH A SAVAGE FOR THIS HAHAHAHA

georgerussell63 party tonight?

maxverstappen1 you know it

yourusername brave yourselves

christianhorner always a pleasure watching you work your magic, Max 👏

maxverstappen1 thank you, christian. your support means very much to me

yourusername awww, you’re like father and son🥹🥹

christianhorner we might as well just adopt him

gerihalliwellhorner 2 kids isn’t enough for you?

christianhorner no

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 3,194,853 others

yourusername words cannot begin to describe the pride i feel when i look at this man. Max, the things you have achieved have completely made me fall in love with you all over again. your dedication, your talent and your craft are a delight to experience and i can't be more grateful to be the one you share life with. i'm looking forward to seeing what the future has in store for you, and know that i'll be with you every single step of the way. i love you, my world champion❤️ tagged: maxverstappen1

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maxverstappen1 forever grateful that you exist in my life❤️i don’t know what i did to deserve you

yourusername you’re gonna make me cry again😭❤️

maxverstappen1 please don’t

yourusername too late

francisca.cgomes i have never seen you cry so much, it made me cry with you 😭😭😭❤️

yourusername i love you ❤️❤️😭😭

pierregasly what..?

maxverstappen1 don’t even ask

yourusername YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND 😭

francisca.cgomes DON’T JUDGE US 😭😭😭😭

yoursister the entire family is sending Max the biggest congratulations !!! we can’t wait to see both of you to celebrate properly ❤️❤️

yourusername ❤️❤️❤️we miss you guys

maxverstappen1 thank you very much !!! looking forward to celebrating with the in-laws ❤️

landonorris when did you become the simp in the relationship?

yourusername don’t you have better things to do?

landonorris not really

maxverstappen1 you should get a hobby

landonorris annoying your girlfriend is my favorite hobby🤭🤭

oscarpiastri do i have to come to the party? 🫣

yourusername yes

maxverstappen1 only if you want to, we’re getting shitfaced either way

oscarpiastri so i can not come? 🥹

yourusername you’re coming, end of story.

user1 Y/N dragging Oscar to Max’s party is the most Y/N thing ever 😂😂

user2 poor Oscar must be regretting his life choices right about now 💀

oscarpiastri i am (please send help)

user1 BABAHQHQH OSCAH😭😭

user3 you can tell how much she loves him 😭❤️❤️

user4 i’m 100% positive Max couldn’t have achieved all of this without Y/N

user5 why? she didn’t do anything to help him at all

user4 it’s not all about performance on the track, a lot of factors go into it. she’s been supporting him for a very long time and that means a lot for someone with a lifestyle like his

user3 exactly, every driver needs someone to help them disconnect from the chaos that follows them all year round during the season

alex_albon you’re such a simp

georgerussell63 simp

charles_leclerc simp

landonorris simp

oacarpiastri simp

maxfewtrell simp

yourusername MAX????

maxverstappen1 …

yourbff your boyfriend is a beast

yourusername i know 🤭 that he is, in more ways than one

maxverstappen1 you know it 😏😋

yourbff HORNY ASSES

lilymhe can’t wait to get drunk and celebrate tonight!!

yourusername you and me both girl 😅

maxverstappen1 me three

liked by yourusername, victoriaverstappen and 3,201,835 others

maxverstappen1 safe to say i remember nothing from last night tagged: yourusername and 9 others

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yourusername it might be for the best

maxverstappen1 was i that bad?

yourusername no... 🤐

landonorris damn right you don't

maxverstappen1 what is that supposed to mean?

landonorris you downed a whole bottle of tequila in less than half an hour. by yourself.

yourusername while taking sips from my drink as well

maxverstappen1 i was thirsty, ok?

oscarpiastri i am never drinking with you again😩

maxverstappen1 what did i do?

yourusername you wanted to undress him in front of the whole club and have him play limbo with you naked

oscarpiastri you didn't have to give the details...

maxverstappen1 i would've loved to see it either way

yourusername MAX!! LEAVE OSCAR ALONE

maxverstappen1 fine...😔

oscarpiastri thank you Y/N😅

georgerussell63 my liver hates you right now

maxverstappen1 don't blame me, it's not like i poured alcohol down your throat

yourusername you did

maxverstappen1 oh..

user1 these comments are just confirming what a party animal Max is and i'm here for it 🤣🤣

user2 y/n sounds so done hahahah😭😭

alex_albon i have no words left

maxverstappen1 i'm sorry for whatever i have done to you

alex_albon we vowed never to speak of it

yourusername this discussion is over

redbullracing sigh... giving us a run for our money, aren't you? 😆

maxverstappen1 i like keeping you guys entertained

redbullracing very kind of you. don't do it again 😐

user3 did y/n not drink?

yourusername i did, but i was relatively sober so i could keep an eye on everyone haha

yourusername i love you <3 even when you're drunk and unhinged

maxverstappen1 i love you too, thank you for taking care of me ❤️

user4 y/n taking care of max >>>>>>>>

user5 i love them. 😭😭😭❤️

charles_leclerc great singing on your part

yourusername i thought we agreed we weren't gonna mention the singing...

maxverstappen1 I SANG????????????

charles_leclerc oh yes, very loudly so

maxverstappen1 yourusername never let me drink again

yourusername i couldn't stop you if i wanted to

maxverstappen1 damn.. wild night, hehe

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REQUEST HERE

[sincerestlove]

Mother Nature - R.G.

thank you so much for the request Anon! i hope i did the idea justice!

Request: hii! my sincere welcome to tumblr, hope u find it a great community here 🫶 u said u were taking requests, i really liked ur writing so what about regina george and reader are on their periods but g gets extra mean and r gets super sensitive and emotional?

Pairing: Regina George x Reader

Warnings: None; just Regina being moody and mean

Your P.O.V.

The second you woke up, you knew it was shark week.

You could feel the dull, painful ache in your lower stomach and the tension in your lower back. Your boobs were sore and to top it all off, you could feel a migraine working its way to the front of your head.

Yeah, today was going to be hell.

Sluggishly dragging yourself out of bed, you somehow managed to get ready for school, gathering all of your things into your backpack. You were about to text your girlfriend, Regina, who picked you up for school every morning, when you heard her obnoxious car horn outside your window. You figured she'd stop after her usual 3, but no.

She kept honking.

Rolling your eyes, you made your way downstairs and out the door. The second you laid your eyes on the blonde, you could tell she was in a bad mood. She looked stunning as usual though, clad in a pretty multicolored pink top, pink high-waisted jeans and her signature docs. It was Wednesday, after all.

"You want to stop staring and get in the car?" Regina all but snapped at you, bright blue eyes icy cold as they glared at you. You didn't respond but did as she asked, settling into the passengers seat. You leaned over to press a kiss to her cheek, but she leaned away, brushing you off.

Okay, ouch.

"Don't, Y/N. I did my makeup perfectly, today. You'd just mess it up."

You felt the harsh pang of sadness and hurt settle deep in your chest, turning away from her to stare out the window. The rest of the car ride to school was silent, thankfully. When you arrived and Regina parked the car in her usual spot, you rushed out, not stopping to hear anything more from her. She didn't say anything, anyway.

~~~

The rest of the day dragged on uneventfully, the only notable event being that your migraine had gotten substantially worse. By lunch time, your vision was blurry and you could barely keep your eyes open. Regina hadn't texted you all day either, which only made your mood worse than it already was. You were used to secretly texting in class, but she hadn't reached out at all. Settling at the Plastic's lunch table, you were the first one there, and decided to lay your head down, offering you some minimal but much needed relief.

"What are you doing? You look ridiculous, sit up." You looked up to see Regina towered over you, arms crossed, an annoyed look on her face. "God, you look awful. What, did you get hit by a bus?" She all but laughed at you, a sneer resting on her pretty lips.

You didn't know what her problem was, but ever since this morning, she had been mean to you. One thing about Regina that you knew for a fact, was that she was always nice to you. Ever since you met, she had been nothing but sweet. She had a soft spot for you. But today, something changed. You had enough of her bitchiness for one day.

You felt tears welling up in your eyes, a few of them falling down your cheeks. When Regina saw them, her expression changed, eyes softening, her hands reaching out to you. You swatted them away, standing up from the lunch table. "You know what? Fuck this. I'm going home." Without another word, you grabbed your backpack and made your way to the front doors of the school. This time, you heard Regina call out for you, but you didn't turn around.

You made it halfway down the walkway when you began seeing spots in your vision and fell to the ground. You groaned in pain, hands coming up to hold your throbbing head. Regina called out for you again, a moment later feeling her arms wrap around you. "Y/N, hey, what happened?!" That was the last thing you heard before everything faded to black.

~~~

When you opened your eyes again, you were laid in the nurse's office, headache still pounding against your temples. "Y/N?" Warm hands cupped your face, turning your head to meet a familiar pair of blue eyes filled with worry.

You smiled softly taking hold of her hand into yours. "Hi." She sighed with relief, leaning down to take your lips into a gentle kiss. She brought you into a tight hug, nosing herself deeper into your neck.

"God, I was so worried. I didn't know what happened to you, I just saw you fall." She rushed out, voice breaking at the end. You shook your head, running a hand through her hair.

"I'm fine, Gina. I'm just on my period. I think it's because I haven't eaten or drank anything all day and on top of my emotions, it caught up to me."

She lifted her head, meeting your gaze. "Y/N, I'm so sorry for being a bitch to you. I woke up and started my period today, too, which just ruined my whole mood." She sighed, brushing her thumbs over my cheeks. "But that doesn't excuse how I treated you and how I acted. I'm so sorry for hurting you and making you cry. I'm so sorry."

You saw tears bubbling up in Regina's eyes, making your heart ache. You knew she wouldn't and couldn't be mean to you without something going on. "It's okay, Gina. I know you didn't mean it, I was just hurt and confused. I didn't know if you hated me, or what."

"Of course not. I could never ever hate you. I'm sorry, baby." Regina kissed you then, running her hands up and down your shoulders soothingly. "I promise I will make it up to you. For now, c'mon, let's get you some painkillers, food and water."

You nodded gratefully, taking the hand she offered you. Leading you out of the nurses office, she guided you to the cafeteria and sat you down at the table. She kissed you once more, before walking off to the lunch line.

Gretchen, Karen and Cady were all staring at you like you were an alien.

"What, is there something on my face?" You reached up, wiping a hand on your eyebrows and cheeks.

The three girls smiled at each other knowingly. "Yeah, it's called Regina George's complete love and adoration."

You rolled your eyes at them, falling into familiar banter and gossip about the happenings of the school. Regina returned a few minutes later, armed with a full tray, a bottle of water and an Advil. You smiled at her warmly, waiting until she sat down beside you to kiss her. "Thank you, Gina." You mumbled against her lips, feeling her smile.

"You're welcome, baby."

i hope you enjoyed!

please leave requests if you have any ideas! :)

[ameenvie]

Last Christmas - Jamie Tartt x fem!reader

masterlist | ao3 | ko-fi | fic recs

"Now I know what a fool I've been, but if you kissed me now, I know you'd fool me again"

@emeraldsandelderberries asked: jaime x reader christmas request :) maybe a second chance romance a la “last christmas” by wham! ? Word count: 4.3k Warnings: none really! I guess anxiety and panic attacks if you squint, but not really Tags: fluff, second chance, christmas, drama, hurt/comfort A/N: This request was soooooooo sweet!!! AH I LOVED IT, I'm so sorry it's this late! 😭 IT might be a bit more dramatic/moody than you've wanted but I really hope you like it! ❤❤

Christmastime in London was always special to you. You loved how the storefronts all dressed up into colourful decorations and cheerful lights, how the smell of warm cookies filled the air as you passed your favourite bakery on your way to work. Excitement and restlessness filled people’s hearts as they were waiting for a little break at the end of the year, a time of reflection and hope. And honestly you could’ve used a fresh start.

Work was hectic in the office before at the end of the year, but you always pushed through by thinking of the holidays approaching faster day by day. The last weeks before Christmas were all about secret Santas and Christmas gatherings at the office as well.

You were having lunch in the small kitchen at work when your phone lit up with your best friend’s name. She usually doesn’t call, so you answered suspiciously.

“I have a huge favour to ask” she said quickly without even saying hello. You put your face into your palm as you braced yourself for what was about to come and even like that you were shocked at her next words. “I need you to come to the company Christmas Party with me.”

“You what?” you asked, trying to conceal the sudden anger in your voice that was bubbling up inside you. It wasn’t like you to get angry easily, especially not on her, but this time it came so out of the blue. Why would she ask that?

“I know babes, I’m so sorry I wouldn’t ask you this if it wasn’t life or death!”

“How can a Christmas party be life or death?” you asked cynically, drumming your fingers on the table next to your lunch. You’ve lost all your appetite.

“I will die if you won’t come with me, that’s how” she joked, trying to lighten your mood.

“You’re so dramatic” you chuckled, but you pinched the bridge of your nose. “Go on.”

“Look, I don’t want to spend all my evening alone with my coworkers and their families and my rich boss, and insufferable football players!” she started. “You know this is not like a few-drinks-in-the-office kind of party, it’s full bling in a fancy hotel and shitton of food and booze!” you could basically see her waving her hand around while talking. “I thought just the two of us could hang out, get hammered and judge others. What do you say?” You rolled your eyes. She knew this was a compelling offer, but not compelling enough. Not when you could risk running into him.

“Okay, but!” You started and held up a finger like she could see it through the phone. “I have the right to leave at any time I want. Deal?” You heard her let out an annoyed groan at the other end of the line.

“Fine, whatever. I know you’ll love it.”

“I sure will. What do I wear?”

“Go all out babe. I’ll meet you tomorrow at 6. Love yous!” She hung up the call and you placed your phone on the table and just stared at it for a moment.

Your best friend was working at Richmond FC. The football club whose every match you’ve seen since you remember, up until last year. It was your family’s team. Now thanks to Jamie Tartt, you couldn’t even think of the name Richmond. And now your friend wants you to go back there, all dressed up, to an event where you could possibly – or even most likely – meet him and have to talk to him. Have to smile at him like he didn’t break your heart. Like you didn’t cry about him for months after he left.

But you weren’t that girl anymore, were you? Time has passed, you moved on, right? You didn’t cry about him anymore. But the twisting feeling in your gut when you thought about him, when someone mentioned him or even the team, when you saw ads with him told you otherwise. Told you that you in fact, have not moved on. But he doesn’t have to know that.

The walk on the way home was chilly and this time you couldn’t admire the flickering Christmas lights around you on the street, nor the sweet smell of cookies coming from the bakery. Your mind was filled with the thought of him, and the possibility of seeing him again. The thought of your friend being an asshole also crossed your mind a few times, but you knew she didn’t mean any harm. For all she knew you were over Jamie. And you were convinced of that too, but the squeezing feeling in your chest told you otherwise. You didn’t listen though. You didn’t care about him. You didn’t.

You told that to yourself the next day as you looked for that beautiful dress in your wardrobe that you might or might not wanted to wear to impress him. To make him feel like an idiot for throwing you away. You didn’t care about him. As you did your makeup a little more elegant than usual. You didn’t care about him. As you did the finishing touches on your hair. You didn’t care about him.

You picked up your purse and locked the door when you saw your friend calling, meaning she was there to pick you up with a cab. The cold air made you shiver a little and you were thankful for the ride. Wintertime was really not made for having these parties. A thin layer of snow covered the streets and the rooftops, the streetlights painting it a warm hue of gold. You let out a relieved sigh, suddenly you felt calm from the peaceful sight. You hopped in the cab and closed the door. Your friend let out an audible gasp as she looked at you.

“You look fucking fit, girl!” she squealed before she hugged you. You scoffed and chuckled before pulling away.

“Thanks, I guess” you smiled, heat crawling to your ears. Your friend gave the address of the venue to the cab driver, and you were off into the night.

“You really did go all the way, huh?”

“Your wish is my command!” you smiled at her, your heart hammering against your ribcage.

“I got you something” she said and started to rummage through her small purse before she pulled out a small bottle of liquor. You laughed.

“Aren’t we going to a party with unlimited free booze?”

“Wanted to have a moment for just the two of us. No offense” she chuckled and looked at the cab driver who smiled back at her. “Thanks for being here.”

“My pleasure” you replied and took a sip out of the bottle. You felt the liquid burn your throat before you handed it to her. Truth be told, you felt alright. Together with your best friend, dressed to the nines, having a fun night out. Who cares about Jamie Tartt?

When you stepped inside the giant ballroom, your breath got caught in your throat. You’ve been to fancy places before – mostly with Jamie -, but nothing of such magnitude. The room was framed by insanely tall walls with red velvet covering, and shiny accents. Christmas ornaments and decorations hung from the ceiling next to the chandeliers, and there was a beautiful Christmas tree in the corner, next to the stage where the band played soft jazz music. Round tables occupied half of the room in a neatly organised pattern, the other half was the dancefloor.

Kind men took your coat, and you clutched your purse to try to calm your nerves. You felt like you didn’t belong, you stuck out like a sore thumb among these gorgeous and rich people. You felt your friend’s hand squeeze your own as she led you further into the room.

“It’s gonna be fine. We’re eating, getting wasted, dancing then going home, ‘kay?”

“Okay” you breathed. You didn’t dare to look around the room in case you recognised someone. Him.

The two of you made a beeline towards the bar and ordered your favourite shot that you drank immediately. You hoped it would calm your nerves a little.

“Easy girl, the night is still young!”

“That’s especially why I’m drinking” you chuckled. You felt a tap on your shoulder and your heart dropped to your stomach, blood freezing in your veins. That was until you’ve turned and saw Sam’s face and his thousand-watt smile.

“I knew it was you! It’s so good to see you!” he cheered, his accented voice ringing in your ear as he hugged you.

“Sam, oh my God! Look at you, you look amazing!” you answered and rested your hand on his arms. “How you’ve been?”

“Good, good! We have a lot to catch up on, you should write sometimes y’know!” Fuck.

“I know, I’m sorry.” A frown settled on your face, and he immediately tried to lighten the mood.

“Just messing with you. But hey, make sure to come say hi to the others later, okay?” he said, and he gestured to the other side of the room, and your gaze instinctively followed. Mistake.

There he was, in all his glory, as tall and handsome as ever. His hair was different, a bit longer and had highlights in it. It really suited him. He wore a slightly unbuttoned shirt and had its sleeves rolled up, his jacket discarded on a nearby chair.

You’ve felt like throwing up, the content of your stomach making somersaults nonstop. Yet you smiled like nothing happened and nodded at Sam. Your friend who you haven’t spoken to in months because he reminded you of Jamie. What an asshole move. And he was so kind he just forgave you.

“We sure will” you answered and squeezed his arm before you let go. And as he turned you sneaked another peek in Jamie’s direction. You felt lightheaded as his gaze caught yours and you looked away in a blink of an eye, turning your back at him.

“Are you alright? I’m so sorry, look, we can just leave” your friend whispered as she looked at you concerned, but you just shook your head.

“I’m fine, really. When is dinner again?”

“In like half an hour” she replied.

“Mint, I’ll catch my breath outside and I’ll be right back, okay?”

“I’ll come with you.”

“No, it’s fine, really” you protested. “It’ll be just a minute, promise.”

“Fine” she sighed as she rubbed your arms. “But just a word and we’ll be out of here!” You nodded and headed towards the door that led to the back garden. Your steps were quick, and you had your head low to avoid anyone stopping you in your track. But you felt like your heels were too loud, that everyone was looking at you, that he was looking at you. In reality, only one of those was true.

As you opened the door, the cold air bit into your skin as you stepped outside. The garden was gigantic, and the grass was covered in a thin layer of snow. There were gravel paths going around in twisty patterns curving around shrubbery and statues.

To your surprise there were standing tables outside accompanied by tall heaters. You weren’t cold but you knew it was just temporary, so you took a beeline towards one of the heaters and stood next to the table under it. It was kind of magical, hearing only the distant music from the ballroom and nothing else, watching the snow-covered garden. You felt your heartbeat slow down and anxious thoughts leaving your head.

You heard footsteps approaching and you turned towards them with a smile, thinking it was Sam or your best friend. Of course, that was not the case. He took his jacket back on, but the top buttons on his shirt were still undone. He looked at you with a shy smile.

“I knew I saw you” he said, his hands in his pockets. You knew he was fiddling with them like he always did. You didn’t reply and you weren’t sure if it was the nerves or the anger. You stood in silence for a moment before he spoke again. “It’s good to see you again. I didn’t think you’d come.”

“Me neither” you replied, and your voice was colder than you thought it would be. It was perfect. He just couldn't see how he ruined you. He just couldn't.

“I can leave if you want?” he said, but it was almost like a question. A question you didn’t really know the answer for. Did you want him to leave? Or were you just over the moon that he was there, standing in front of you, with a heavy heart and a shy smile? You kind of never wanted that moment to end. You felt pathetic and you looked away from him, which he took as a cue to leave. “It’s alright. It was nice seeing you. You look beautiful.” What an asshole. What right does he have to call you that?

He turned his back on you, and you swallowed the lump in your throat as you looked at your shoes. The fancy shoes that you might or might not picked out to impress him. You did get what you wanted didn’t you? He did call you beautiful. So why was it making you so angry?

“I just” he hesitated before continuing. “Wanted to say I’m sorry. Truly.” You looked up at him. His body was halfway turned from you, and he looked back, head hung low and a few strands of his hair fell into his eyes. Your ears were ringing as your heart was pounding in your chest.

“I was a royal prick. And you-“ he scratched his throat. “You deserved better. And you deserve better than me ruining your night, so I’ll leave you be. Sorry. Truly, it was nice seeing you.” he said and turned away. You felt like your mouth acted on its own as you called out after him. His gaze snapped back and met yours.

“Would you-“ you paused. “Like to stay a bit?” You could see his shoulders relax as he let out a breath he was holding. A smile found its way past his lips as he stepped closer to you under the heater.

“I’m glad you asked because I started to freeze my arse off” he chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. But he was still very aware of his situation.

“Yeah, why can’t these company parties be held in the summer? You get all dressed up only to freeze your tits off” you smiled back at him. He was leaning against the table as he looked at you. It somehow felt right, being there with him.

“Well, some of us are more dressed up than others” he grinned as his eyes wandered up and down on your body. You pretended you didn’t see it, but the rising heat in your body said otherwise.

“I know, Rebecca looks insanely good tonight” you said to deflect the compliment.

“Yeah, she’s really good at this glam thing. Kinda jealous of her.” You cocked your eyebrow at him, but you didn’t say a word. Signalling him to go on. “Most of the times I just can’t wait to bolt at these events.”

“Why don’t you? Are you on the clock or something?” you asked, clutching your purse for dear life. The more reasonable part of your brain said you should just tell him to piss off. But you didn’t.

“Nah” he shrugged. “I just like the company a bit more than usual.”

You felt your heart flutter at the compliment. Then you immediately felt sadness. Then anger.

“Jamie, why on earth are you here?”

“Umm, it’s a company Christmas party?” he answered with a question, feigning ignorance.

“I meant here. And you know that. If you really would've liked my company, you probably wouldn't have dumped me to fuck around” you snapped at him and straightened your back, preparing to leave him. “Merry Christmas, Jamie.”

You turned on your heels and headed towards the main building. Now that you’ve stepped away from the heater the cold winter air crawled against your skin once more, tears prickling your eyes. You were stupid for coming here.

You picked up your pace before you felt a warm hand grip your wrist. You felt tired. You felt like you had no energy to do this right now.

“Please, love. Just give me a chance.”

“A chance for what, Jamie? To break my heart again?” you asked in a choked voice from holding the tears at bay. He let go of you and ran his hands through his hair. You hated how you knew he always did that when he was nervous. All this knowledge of him, all that love for him. What were you supposed to do with them now?

“What can I do to make it right? I’ll do anything.”

“Stop making a fool out of me. What do you want? A good nostalgia lay? A charity one, because it’s Christmas?” You were so angry at him. If all these were true, why did he just dump you? Say all those things he said. But at the same time, you wanted this to be true. But you weren’t ready for another heartbreak.

“Piss off, I’ve cried enough because of you already.” You turned your back on him again and stormed off. You saw your friend's silhouette at the door, and you felt relieved.

“I’m so sorry babes, I’ll call a cab, okay? I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“It’s fine. I won’t give him the satisfaction of leaving” you let out a shaky breath and hugged your friend.

“What did he want anyway?”

“He said” you started but your voice choked up. “He said he was sorry. That he wanted to make it right.”

“You’re kidding. What did you say?”

“I told him to piss off, as you can see” you answered and let out a dry laugh.

“I can see that, but why?” she asked, and you snapped your gaze at her.

“What do you mean why? Don’t you remember he broke up with me to chase models instead?”

“But maybe he does want to make it right… and you love-“ she said but you broke her off.

“I don’t. Please can we just drop this? Let’s have dinner, what do you think?”

“Sounds perfect.”

Dinner was served by elegant waiters, all different kinds of soups, meats, salads, whatever you could’ve wished for. And fortunately, they didn’t hesitate to bring you drinks as well.

“No way!” you laughed at another guy who was sitting at your table. He was your friend’s coworker, or something like that. You actually had a really great time since the dinner started. These people were nice and funny, and took your mind off of Jamie for a bit. That was all you could’ve asked for.

“It’s nice to meet finally meet you guys in person, I’ve heard so much about you I feel like I’ve known you for ages!”

“Only good I hope!” another girl, Jenna chimed in and chuckled while your friend just rolled her eyes to hide her awkwardness. Mixing friend groups was always a stressful experience for her. Suddenly Jenna whispered something to the person who was sitting next to her – you remembered her name being Ellie.

“Yeah, for sure” Ellie said, covering her mouth while laughing.

“C’mon girls, didn’t they tell you it’s rude to whisper when you have company? Spill it!” your friend whined as she took another sip from her drink. Jenna rolled her eyes playfully before she leaned closer to the two of you.

“We were just talking about how shaggable some of our footballers are” she giggled, and you choked on your drink, what earned you a few weird looks.

“I’m sorry, I just tried to laugh and swallow at the same time” you replied quickly. During your exchange the wait staff started to clear your tables as the dinner was about to end, leaving place for the music, dancing, and drinking.

“Or maybe you fancy the gaffer? No shame in that he’s pretty fit himself” Ellie continued before Jenna cut her off.

“You bet he is. And he’s such a gentleman, I’ve ran into him at the cafeteria once. Maybe even too much of a gentleman.” She gave a knowing look before she chuckled. You knew this was going to be bad.

“C’mon girls, stop it! Anybody can hear you!” your friend tried to stop the situation from getting worse, but it was of no use.

“So, new girl, what do you say? Do you have a favourite guy on the team?” Jenna rested her head in her hands as she was looking at you, batting her eyelashes. She didn’t mean no harm; she had no way of knowing that you were in fact an ex-girlfriend of one of them.

“You know what, I’m kind of a Roy Kent girl myself” you said, and your friend snorted next to you, almost spitting her drink. You flashed a huge smile at her before clinking your glass against hers. The rest of the girls made approving noises before they got interrupted.

“That kinda hurts” his voice pierced your ears, and your heart went into overdrive. Of course. You turned towards him, and you swore your eyes shot daggers at him. He had one of his hands held out towards you, inviting you to take it. “Spare me a dance?”

You already drank enough to consider his offer. You felt everyone’s eyes on you and for a second you didn’t care.

“Sure” you replied in a low voice as you stood up. You heard a gasp from behind you, but you weren’t sure who it came from. You took Jamie’s hand as he led you towards the dancefloor. You heard your friend say “I told you anyone could hear it!” in the background and you smiled.

After you reached the centre of the dancefloor, he spun you around and put one of his hands on your waist, pulling you closer. You didn’t look him in the eye, but scanned the room for anything else to focus on. The band was playing a slow song and couples started to flock to the floor next to you. You saw Ted asking Rebecca for a dance and even your friend stood up and made her way to the floor with someone. You felt Jamie trying to be sneaky and pulling you closer into him with every sway, but you didn’t say anything.

“Do you remember when you taught me how to dance?” he asked, and you heard the smile in his voice. You did remember.

“Of course” you said, barely audible.

“We moved the couch to make space. And even then, I hit my foot into it.” He spun you around to the rhythm of the music, then pulled you closer than before. And you let him, as you rested your head next to his collarbone. He smelled so good, and you allowed yourself to get lost in the moment as you closed your eyes. Like you were in your living room again, like he didn’t break your heart.

“Do you think you can forgive me?” he asked abruptly.

“It’s not-“ you hesitated. “It’s not that I can’t forgive you.” You knew you could forgive him in a second, because you loved him. You loved him so much, not a day went by without you missing him.

“What is it then?”

“I just don’t want to be hurt again. I know you just take whatever you want and when you’re bored you just toss it aside.” You fought your tears as you buried your face into his chest.

“I’m not that person anymore, love” he said and stopped the two of you, lifting your chin up so your gaze met his. “I promise.”

“Why should I believe you? You promised before you’d never leave me and then you tossed me aside. Made me feel worthless.”

“Fuck” he exhaled, pressing his palms against his eyes. “Can we talk somewhere else? Can’t hear my own thoughts.” You didn’t reply just nodded before he took your hands and led you outside to the same spot you’ve talked earlier. Tears were prickling the corner of your eyes as you followed him, looking down at your joint hands. He stood under the heater before he turned to you and placed both his hands on the side of your face.

“Look. I was a major prick, I know that.” He searched your face as he spoke. “But I promise, I’ve changed. I shouldn’t have treated you like that, I was an asshole. I know that now” he paused.

“But I-“ he started then he stopped, his eyes frantically scanning your face.

Don’t say it.

“I just-“

Don’t say it.

“Fuck, I-“

Just say it!

“I love you.” You let out a relieved sigh as you closed your eyes. He pulled you closer as he planted a kiss on your lips, shy and chaste. Your heart was stammering against your ribcage, and you felt like it was your first kiss ever.

“I love you too” you whispered as warm tears rolled down your cheeks, contrasting the cold air. He kissed you again, this time braver, and he poured his heart and soul into it as he pulled you in with his hand on the nape of your neck, his fingers tangling in your hair. You wrapped your arms around his neck and your heart felt like a thousand suns exploded inside it.

“Please let me make it right.”

“Just make sure you won’t make a fool out of me again for saying yes to this, okay?”

“I promise” he said before he kissed you again. “But I have another question.”

“Yes?” you asked and raised your eyebrow.

“Are you really a Roy Kent girl?” You laughed at how real the concern was on his face as he looked at you with his puppy eyes.

“No, actually I’m a huge Jamie Tartt girl, have you heard of him?” you grinned as you caressed his face.

“Huh, sounds like he’s a lucky fella” he smiled before he leaned in for another kiss. Maybe it wasn’t so bad your friend invited you after all.

[ursuburbanmother]

I’m On Fire, But I’m Trying Not to Show It || Chapter Three

Pairing: Angus Tully x fem!reader

a/n: Mothers and daughters?? Fathers and sons?!?

Word Count: ~4k

Find: Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

Enjoy!

December 23, 1970

You’ve been stuck in your own mind all day. It's decided to shut down like a panic room and you can see Angus try to crack it open with his attempts at small talk. Mary and Mr. Hunham share uncomfortable glances at each other, slightly humored about the quiet lunch they are having that would usually be filled by chatter from you two.

Angus leans in close to your ear, “You said we would talk today.”

“After this,” you murmur, sinking into the wooden chair.

“If this is about yesterday, it was just a weird moment, it didn’t mean anything.”

“Stop talking,” you say as nicely as you can when you see Mary's eyebrow quirk up at Angus’s comment.

“I have a surprise,” Mr. Hunham suddenly announces. Your eyes snap to him, embracing the distraction. He brings out a platter full of Christmas cookies and places them on the table. “These were a gift to me, and I would like to share them with both of you.”

Angus is unimpressed and by the way he is scowling, he's upset too. “Look at them. Look at all the festive shapes. Snowflakes and gingerbread men. A tree. A little mitten,” Mr. Hunham picks up the red and white frosted cookie and takes a bite. “Mmm,” he looks pleasantly surprised.

“Thank you, Mister. This is really nice,” You reach for the snowflake. You’re not sure how well sloppy joe and sugar will settle in your stomach but you're willing to gamble on it. Mr. Hunham gives you a thin smile.

“May I go to the bathroom, sir?” Angus asks, already pushing away his dish and getting up from his chair.

“You may,” he sighs, watching the boy walk away.

“Well, I’m trying,” he says to the group, defeated.

You give him a weak grin, “These are good cookies though. If that means anything to you.”

Mary chuckles at your exchange. Mr. Hunham gets up and goes the same direction Angus had exited. Your eyes follow him until it is impossible for you to see him without breaking your neck. You turn to Mary who is close to finishing her cigarette. She blows the smoke away from your direction and pushes the packet towards you.

“Want one?”

“Oh. No thanks. That's Angus’s thing.”

“Alright. But don’t go asking for one later.”

“I won’t,” you laugh quietly. You hear voices in the hallway get louder. Angus shouts something you can’t make out and Mr. Hunham's response follows shortly after. Their noise fades away and you rub your tired eyes to snap you awake. You never could get enough sleep. You swear you could sleep for twenty-four hours and still feel groggy.

“What's going on with you two?” Mary asks.

“Angus and I?”

“No. You and the ghost that haunts the infirmary,” she took a sip of her coffee while shaking her head in amusement.

“My mother says I'm a bit of a blabbermouth. I don’t know if you want to hear the details,” you warn.

“Give me the reader's digest,” she pats the seat next to her. Bringing your coca-cola with you, you go cross over to her side of the table. “Okay. Tell me if you think I’m crazy-”

“I will.”

“-But Angus has been acting so weird. One second, he's all moody, a regular Holden Claufield, and the next he’s nice and being the Angus I’ve known all my life. I don’t know… Maybe he’s at the stage where his feelings swing around like a pendulum.”

“That's all-teenagers sweethearts. Even at adulthood, that pendulum never stops swinging. At some point it may slow down only for a gust of wind to return it into motion.”

“I mean he’s always been a little short-tempered, just never towards me. Yesterday,” you wonder if you are getting too personal now, “he called me selfish.”

“Selfish? The girl that just scarfed down a cookie to make an old man feel better.”

You shrug. You never knew how to take compliments. “I know I should just ask him what's really going on, but I don’t want him to blow up on me again.”

“If he does come to me. I’ll whip him into shape for you.”

“Thank you,” you giggle. “What do you think happened out there?” You tilt you heard towards the doors.

“Their usual bickering. That boy is probably paying the price for cursing Hunham out right now.”

“How long have you known Mr. Hunham?”

She paused before answering, “A while now.”

“Has he always been this… strong-willed?”

“Stubborn as a mule you mean? Yes, he has. Although the years have certainly hardened him more.”

“Why’s that?"

“Not sure. He’s a private man. I haven’t been able to pry anything out of him.”

“Not even when he’s,” you make your hand into a fist, extending the pink and thumb. You move it back and forth to mimic drinking from a bottle.

Mary cackles. “Not even then.”

…

The stupidest thing Angus had done was what he had done to you yesterday. He doesn’t know why he said it, why he had called you selfish. It just tumbled out. It was like he was a man possessed. But launching off a springboard in the gym in an act of rebellion was a close second.

He numbed the pain thinking of you. Granted if you were here, you would be lecturing him non-stop and telling him how he should have known better. But at least you would have been here, and he wouldn’t have to watch Mr. Hunham marinate in his misery. At least you would have been there to hold his hand as they popped his arm back into its socket.

Although his mouth had gotten him in trouble the last few days, it had been helpful in getting them out of the hospital insurance issue. And it was about to get him a free burger now too.

They had arrived at the local watering hole. It was jam packed with people getting tipsy with beer. He could hear the clink of billiards and the white noise on the TV.

“I think I’ll start with a beer. How about you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Mr. Tully. Get your cheeseburger.”

“They’ve got Miller High Life. The Champagne of Beers.”

“Oh?” Mr. Hunham said, but Angus could tell he was just trying to amuse him.

Angus shut the menu as their waitress came up the stairs to their little booth. “Okay, you ready to order? Oh!” she gasped as she turned to his teacher.

“Miss Crane,” Hunham touched his chest, “As I live and breathe. What-, what are you doing here?”

“Oh hi guys! Yeah, I always pick up a little extra work over Thanksgiving and Christmas,” Miss Crane explained.

It looked as if Mr. Hunham had been snapped awake, “Well, um, this is Mr. Tully,” he motioned his hand towards him.”

“Sure, I know you and your little girlfriend. You two are always glued together like gum on a pole,” Miss Crane said teasingly.

“Y/n L/n," he beamed, "she goes to the girl's school and we’re just friends. But um, we met outside Dr. Woodrup’s office. I was wrongly accused of blowing up a toilet,” he smiled as innocently as he could.

“I didn’t know about the wrongly part,” she shares a laugh with Hunham.

“He’ll have a cheeseburger,” he orders for Angus.

“And a Miller High Life please,” Angus adds quickly.

“Uh. No you will not,” Hunham says sternly.

“Where do you stand on Miller High Life, Miss Crane?”

“Well, like they say, it’s the Champagne of Beers.”

Angus turns to Hunham, “And she’s a professional.”

“Okay, one cheeseburger,” Miss Crane waits for him to fill the blank.

He relents and orders reluctantly, “And a Coke.”

“I’ll have a cheeseburger as well,” Hunham smiled.

“Two cheeseburgers,” she jots down the order on her notepad

“And a Jim Beam. On the rocks. Please.”

“Okay, you got it guys,” She smiles at them before exiting. Paul watches her go and Angus grins at the scene.

“Ouch. You two have chemistry,” he shakes his hand like he had touched a hot plate.

“Okay. That’s the Percodan talking,” Hunham dismisses.

“I don’t know. Seeing her like this, I think she’s pretty attractive,” he hopes his teacher will take the bait.

“Listen, you hormonal vulgarian, that woman deserves your respect, not your erotic speculation.”

Angus resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Well, may I at least go to the bathroom? Sir?”

“You mean the payphone?”

They have a stare off before he runs off to the back of the restaurant. Angus scours any leftover change in his back pocket of his jeans. He finds enough to make a call. He scans the room, making sure that Mr. Hunham isn’t hunting him down like last time. He dials the number to the Barton infirmary and hopes you are lounging in your room.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up,” he chants under his breath. Instead he gets the dial tone. He curses and slams the phone back to its original place.

…

You haven’t seen Angus since the morning. You've been spending all afternoon with Mary instead. You helped with the lunch dishes and are preparing the potatoes for supper later. Mary had a radio in the kitchen which you happily hummed to. Christmas music flooded your ears and reminded you of the holiday. In the halls of Barton there were no decorations, and one could probably convince a kid that the Grinch had stolen them in the dead of night.

“Mary, I'm done,” you proudly show her the bowl of potatoes. In your house most of the cooking was done by private chefs who came in and out so irregularly that you could never learn their names. Understandably, they didn’t have time to entertain a ten-year-olds insistent questions about what it meant to julienne a vegetable.

“Great. Why don’t you start boiling them and get started on chopping those mushrooms.”

“Okay,” you add water to a pot before adding the chomped potato. You find the mushrooms and cut them as thinly as you can. After you place them on the counter next to Mary who has already prepared everything else.

You admire as she adds them to a pan of melted butter. She drops salt, pepper, Italian dressing and other spices you can’t name, without even having to use measuring tools. “You’re Julia Child!” You praise.

“Just years of practice.”

“Hey, when do I get to sauté and mix things?” You get on your tiptoes to get a better look at the mushrooms turning a dark brown.

“When I know you won’t hurt yourself doing it,” she gave a pointed look at the bandaids on your fingers. You may have cut yourself in your first attempts at handling a knife. You hide the hand behind your back. “Sorry.”

You go to sit in a stool by the oven. You open a borrowed copy of a Kerouac book that Angus had in his suitcase. The Subterraneans, written in three days apparently and no offense to Jack but it shows. Mary notices your squinting as you go try to make sense of the writing, inching your face closer and closer to the paper.

“Are you planning to do something with that? The books.” Mary stops her stirring and lowers the heat of the stove. She walks over to you and glances at pages.

“What? Like with writing?” You ask, “I’m not sure. I know I should have figured it out by now but I just never got one of those woosh moments,” you sway your hands in the air.

“Woosh moment?”

“It's like what we talked about with the pendulum. I feel like I've been hanging still and waiting for the wind to send me on my way. I wait for it to push me with the strength of a tornado. Woosh. Almost to flood me with a feeling of knowing? I’m not the best at words…” you trail off.

“You're telling me nothing interests you?” She raised her eyebrow.

“No, a lot of things do. I want to do everything. Right now, for example, I feel like becoming a renowned chef,” you pick up a random bowl and start stirring it slowly.

“Try learning how to handle a knife right first,” she tuts.

“Practice makes perfect Mary,” you smile and look down into the chocolate substance you were messing with. “Cake or brownies?”

“Neither actually. It's more doughy than liquid honey,” she lectures you kindly.

“Right,” you say sheepishly, “I swear I’m smarter when it comes to other things. You should see me in civics class.”

“I believe you,” she winks, “Now get to preheating the oven, Betty Crocker.”

…

Angus goes off to play a game on the Pinball machine and to take his mind off you. It certainly helps him. Avoiding the prospect of getting beat up by locals and injuring another part of his body allows him to momentarily forget the stress he feels when he remembers how pissed you are at him.

Mr. Hunham and Angus eat their burgers quickly. To repay Mr. Hunham for saving his ass, Angus keeps his mouth shut every time he orders a Jim Beam. They leave after Hunham drops a rather generous tip for Miss Crane.

They're walking towards Hunhams car and Angus can’t resist the urge to ask, “Why’d you buy those guys beer? They’re assholes.”

“That’s one way to look at it. Hey. Catch,” he tosses his keys at Angus, who catches them on instinct.

“How many boys do you know who have had their hands blown off? Barton boys don’t go to Vietnam. No, they go to Yale or Dartmouth or Cornell, whether they deserve to or not."

“Except for Curtis Lamb.”

“Except for Curtis Lamb.”

“Were you ever in the military?” Angus’s curiosity peaked.

“I tried to enlist in ‘41, but was rejected,” Mr. Hunham pointed at his eye, as if to say obviously. He tries to unlock the door of the driver's side to no avail. He points towards Angus,“I have to get in through there. Anyways, they made me an air raid warden. Gave me a whistle and everything. Helmet. Arm band.”

Angus opens the door, handing the keys off as Mr. Hunham slides in. He catches a whiff of Mr. Hunham unmentioned scent.

“Before we get going, can I be candid with you?”

“Mm-hmm,”

“You smell,” he states bluntly and Mr. Hunham deflates. Angus joins him inside the Nova, “Like fish. And it’s really noticeable toward the end of the day. I even smell it on your coat. Mind if I crack the window?”

“Trimethylaminuria.”

“Huh?” Angus frowns.

“Trimethylaminuria. Means my body can’t break down trimethylamine. That’s the smell. And, uh, yes, more toward the end of the day.

“Wow. Your whole life? No wonder you’re afraid of women,” he concludes.

“I am not afraid of women,” Hunham says, clearly offended. “Jesus H. Christ.”

“I shouldn’t have said anything. Dr. Gertler says I don’t always give consideration to my audience,” Angus exhales.

“Who’s Dr. Gertler?’’

“My shrink,” Angus wants to disappear.

“Has Dr. Gertler ever tried a swift kick in the ass?”

Angus figures he ought to level the playing field. “Okay, all right, now your turn. Go ahead, tell me something about me. Something negative.”

“Something negative about you?”

“Sure. Just one thing.

“Just one?”

Angus nods and he probably should be offended that he is taking an awful long time to say anything.

“You’re obtuse about your social relationship.”

“What the hell is that supposed mean?”

“You didn’t say I had to elaborate Mr. Tully.”

“Okay well now I want you to. Spit it out.”

“No,” he backs out of his parking spot and hits the road.

“Come on! Explain,” Angus tugs on Hunhams jacket.

“I hope you don’t plan to pester me all the way to Barton. It'll be an awfully long ride.”

He presses down harder on the gas pedal.

…

You had burned the cookies. Not that you could tell when you took a bite of it. The cocoa had disguised it and you had just finished patting your back when you had to spit the whole thing out into the sink. Mary relishes your misery and apologizes through her laughs, wiping the tears in the corner of her eyes.

So your two-course meal had been reduced to just an entree. After thirty minutes of searching and waiting on Angus and Mr. Hunham, you ladies decided to leave the capacious mess hall and have a TV dinner. If your mother could see you now you were sure she would have you arrested by the etiquette police.

Mary was flipping through the channels to tune in to her daily rewatch of the Newlywed Game. You stopped her suddenly, your hand on top of hers to stop her from operating the remote.

“Cactus Flower! I love this movie. Please can we watch it?” You beg, clasping and shaking your hands together.

“What’s it about?” She asks hesitantly, clearly wary about abandoning her favorite program.

“You’ll love it! Ingrid Berman has to pretend to be her boss's wife because he lied to his lover about being married and having kids and shit-,”

“Language.”

“-Sorry. And so now he has to pull off this big con, so she won’t leave his lying as-, butt,” you correct yourself. “Goldie Hawn is sooo good in this. She won an Oscar I think.”

“I supposed I could give it a try. If it bores me we are switching right back though.”

“Deal,” you giggle and scoot the plate balancing on your lap closer so you can dig in.

For the next hour, Mary seems content in watching the characters in the movie ignore and miscommunicate their feelings. Even shaking her head when they do something she finds ridiculous. Your eyes get heavy as the ending nears, your stomach warm and content with the meal you had and the glare of the television tiring your vision. You lean your head back into the couch cushion and close your eyelids. Distantly you hear Ingrid Berman and Walter Matthau confess their love before your world goes dark.

Slumped against Mary, you wake up for the second time that week by the same hands. Angus is shaking your shoulder gently. Your gaze falls immediately to the sling his arm is in.

“Angus! What the hell?” You whisper- shout, fixing your posture and wiping the potential drool off your face. You check to make sure you didn’t wake up Mary.

“It's okay, it's okay,” he reassures. “It’s not broken, or anything just dislocated.”

“What happened?’’ Your arm trails down from where the sling starts to where his hand hangs lazily out. "Is this why you weren’t at dinner tonight? Hunham too?”

“Uh yeah. I jumped off a springboard in the new gym,” he answers bashfully.

“Wow… you are so stupid sometimes.”

“I prefer spontaneous thank you,” he sits down next to you on the couch and lets out a sigh. Using his good arm, he lifts a plastic bag. “We went out to eat and I got you something.”

“Ooh,” You snatch the bag and open it as quietly as you can without crinkling the plastic. Inside the Styrofoam box there's a half-eaten burger with some cold fries. You snack on it anyway offering some to Angus who shakes his head.

“Mr. Hunham thought buying another would be wasteful. He assumed you and Mary would have probably eaten by then so I saved what I could.”

“We did and,” you motion to the plates, “I helped cook it!”

“Really?” Angus's eyes widened, “I’m sorry I missed it.”

“I saved you some cookies,” You pick up the dish of the burnt dessert. You have brought them over believing you had been exaggerating the taste.

You hadn't.

He takes one, clueless, and bites almost half the cookie off. You see him wince but still he continues to chew. He chokes it down and nods, “Not bad?”

“You’re such a liar,” you shove his head lightly. “I forgot to turn on the timer.”

“Yeah I can tell,” he takes your confession as his cue to spit the rest out into a nearby napkin.

“Thanks for this though,” you take a bite of the burger, “I had forgotten what fast food tasted like.”

“Don’t tell him I let you have it. Or that you saw me in fact. The whole arm thing is supposed to be secret.”

“Got it,” you extended your pinky for him to intertwine. He takes it but doesn’t remove his pinky after, instead he lets your connected hands fall between the both of you.

The TV is still on, except the volume is lower and an old black-and-white movie is on. You finish the burger and put the trash aside to throw away in the morning.

“Where is Mr. Hunham now?”

“Crashed as soon as his head hit the pillow.”

“So you want to talk now?” You look up at him.

“Umm, somewhere private though. Incase Mary wakes up,” he gets up, still connected to you by your fingers and pulls you alongside him. You pick up a discarded blanket along with you

“Okay. Where do you want to go?”

He walks you two out of the staff common room and you let him take the lead. Barton is cold even without all the large windows closed. It’s like walking through a haunted mansion, passing by old dusty trophy cases and pictures of past alumni. When you enter what you recognize to be the auditorium, thanks to the plaque next to the door, Angus strolls you two over to the stage. You sit on the piano bench and when he joins you, you cover him with your blanket.

You hear Angus let out a shaky breath and then see the winter air turn it into a small cloud of smoke.

Angus starts to speak, a tremble in his voice, “You’re the only person who thinks of me first know? Even when we were little, and we had a free pass to be totally self-centered you still never-. Like in middle school when you’d give me biology answers, or just now with the blanket! I have a jacket! I should be giving you the entire blanket. In fact, let me give you -, your just-.”

“It’s alright Angus,” you stop his rapid rambling, holding his face between your hands. “I already forgave you a long time ago.”

“Didn’t feel like it,” he chuckles, trying to divert his gaze but the soft hold you have on him keeps him still.

“I forgave you the second you walked in looking like a kicked puppy.”

He laughs at your words.

“Although I just want to ask what has been going on with you? I know you hate school and you're not incredibly fond of Stanely marrying your mom, but I feel like something has been bothering you. Something big.”

“I need to go to Boston Y/n,” he admits, hitting some random piano keys. The notes echo around the room.

“Okay,” you bite the inside of your cheek, “why?”

“It's snowing outside but it doesn’t feel like Christmas. But my dad, he would make it feel that way. So I need to see him and my mom had promised but you see how that turned out.”

“Oh Angus. This is why you kept bringing it up,” you gasp. “Jesus. And I had called you stupid, I’m the dense one for not connecting the dots.”

“No no. You’re not. I was being evasive. I guess I didn’t want you to worry.”

“I would have stolen Jason Smith's car keys had I known! We could be there by now, eating Clam Chowder by the bay. ”

“Nuh-uh. You’re way too of a goody-two shoe for that.”

“Well I would have followed you. Given an hour's notice, of course, to build my confidence.”

“I don't know,” Angus hits a few more keys, “Maybe this was fate like you said. It definitely didn’t deal me a cruel hand having me holdover here with you.”

“Yeah, the universe was certainly on our side for this one,” you move closer to him and put your head on his shoulder. “Hey, you think you can still play even with only one working hand?”

“I’m willing to try it,” he stretches his fingers, “What shall I serenade you with?”

“Something Beach Boys. In My Room?”

“You got it L/n.”

He plays much slower and his jaw is sharp, fully determined to get through the song for your enjoyment. He plays so gracefully you don’t even notice when he slips on occasion. You don’t mind it. It’s almost as sweet as a lullaby.

[smallraindrops-blog]

Meet Me in The Sunflower fields

(Day 4 to 6)

(A sleep family series)

Summary: out of order snapshots of the hazy days of summer with cherry popsicles and the distant, happy laughter of family. Modern!au

Word count: 2k

warnings: no beta, hinted at family trauma, cursing, cheating ( not between Hypnos&Y/N) Alcohol, NSFWISH, Bad decisions.

Notes: omg i’m sorry y'all. Work has lost its fucking tits but i am here! I will return to fix any mistakes but i hope yall enjoy this enjoy this.

Please mind the warnings~~~~<3<3<3<3<3<3

Love yall! mawh. Xoxoxo

~

Vacation

The whole world felt like it was made of brilliant crystals. The shining waves of the ocean, the gleaming white sand were so beautiful that it was nearly blinding. 

The smell of coconuts and sunscreen was in the air as well as the sounds of laughter, noisy seagulls and the nearby town. 

It was paradise. 

Morpheus would rather be anywhere else. Actually, no. He would rather be back home, working with his theater group on the newest play. 

With a sour expression, Morpheus looked up his spot under the large umbrella, his play script in his hands. 

Phobetor was covered from head to toe in sand, with a determined gleam in his freaky yellow eyes as he added more sand to whatever it was building. He sat back, scanned his creations and dumped even more sand on top.

Morpheus’ scowl deepened, and he looked past his baby brother to the twins. 

The twins were playing in the waves, Icelos’ white curls frizzing up in the everblue waters, and was screaming as Phan tossed a bucket of seaweed at her. She immediately tackled him, using her height to shove him under the waves. 

They were all acting like little babies. 

With a deep sigh, Morpheus returned to his script, or tried to anyway. He knew he wasn’t being fair to his siblings but that only seemed to make his bad mood worse. 

It didn’t help that his parents were also acting like teenagers, only worse. They were acting like lovesick ones. 

Morpheus knew if he turned around to look behind him, he would probably see some disgusting sight like Papa whispering in Dad’s ear while Dad giggled like some dumb girl or them cuddled up or gods- kissing for far too long. 

Again.

His parents had seemed to have forgotten they were adults with children and they were being gross right now. 

Sighing, he made himself look back at the page he was trying to read. The words weren’t sticking no matter how many times he read it.

“Lunch time!” Dad singed as he appeared by Morpheus’ side. “Come on all of you, I am not chasing after you!”

“I'm good.” Morpheus grumbled, hunching his shoulders as he tried to keep his eyes on the paper. 

“Are you still studying, baby?” Dad looked over his shoulder as he looked at the script, the wind picking up his long curls.  

“Not a baby.” Morpheus shot back, narrowing his eyes at the page like it would help. “I need to learn this stuff.”

“You need a break.” Dad returned Morpheus’ tone with a sigh. Hypnos sat down next to Morpheus and Hypnos rested his head on his own knee as he got comfortable. 

Giving up, Morpheus copied his dad, not quite realizing he was doing so. The pages fluttered in the wind, the waves so loud it seemed to drown out the gulls along with the twins’ laughter. 

For a long moment, they sat side by side in silence. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Dad eyed him, digging his toes into the sand. Morpheus huffed, slapping a hand on the paper, annoyed at the noise. At himself.

“Is there anything to talk about?”  Morpheus looked at the sea. “I know I’m being moody.”

”You’re twelve.” Dad smiled like that alone was enough of a reason. Morpheus shook his head, his curls flopping everywhere. 

“It just… I worked really hard. I even made Phobetor sit for hours to watch me practice.”

“And you still haven’t paid me!” Phobetor yelled, arms deep in his creation. Morpheus was starting to get worried that his baby brother might become one with the sand at this point. 

“I told you that you have to wait until I get my first movie deal!” 

Morpheus ignored his dad’s laughing and Phobetor’s booing as he flopped down onto his back. He stared up at the striped umbrella.

“Dad, sorry for…” Morpheus gestured vaguely, unable to come up with the right words. 

Dad grabbed his hand, locking their fingers together and gave a squeeze. Morpheus wanted to say he was too old to hold his Dad’s hand but it felt nice. The sounds of the waves were no longer grating and Morpheus let himself breath.

He was on vacation and he just need-

Dad immediately jerked at Morpheus’ hand, “No- don’t you dare!” 

Morpheus frowned, lifting his head up in confusion only to scream when he saw the twins looming above with two large buckets overflowing with water and seaweed. Dad pulled Morpheus into his arms but it was too late.

Both of them immediately got soaked and covered in disgusting weed. There was a moment of panicked silence as the twins realized they also got their dad. 

Hypnos had gotten the worst of it, seaweed covering his face with his clothes soaked. He looked like a drowned creature. Dad slowly peeled away the plant from his face, a  dark scowl growing as he did so. 

Morpheus made a sound of disgust at the wet sound. 

“Oops.” Phan whispered. 

“Dad, we meant to get Morpheus!” Icelos said, unsuccessfully fighting back her laughter. “We’re sorry.”

Dad gave them an ice cold smile, pressing his finger together in a snapping position. “Oh, you will be.” 

The twins frowned in confusion then Hypnos snapped his fingers. Appearing out of nowhere, Papa wrapped his arms around the twins and lifted them both up easily. 

Their panicking screams made Morpheus laugh and he waved them goodbye as they were carried off to the ocean.

Dad chased after them, still removing seaweeds from his body. “I want them to sleep with the fishes!”

”No! No!” But their screams had turned to delight. Phobtor wrestled himself from the sand, falling down on his face once before rushing back up as he tried following them. “Wait, I wanna go too!” 

Morpheus knew he was grinning like an utter loon as he watched but couldn’t seem to stop it. When he saw the papers were ruined, he didn’t exactly feel that bad about it.

~~

Camera 

Achilles scowled, his fingers fumbling around the lens. “Damn bloody-“

“Do you need help?” Patroclus sounded far too amused, tossing more diving rings for the grandkids to hunt for. Achilles looked up and narrowed his eyes. 

Patroclus was lounging on his inflatable chair, sunglasses on and a beer by his elbow as he tossed out another one to the deep end of the pool. He flashed Achilles a roguish grin, far too handsome for his - or Achilles’- own good. He looked like a king with his little subjects bobbing around him, diving for their the goods their king tossed their way.

“No. I’m perfectly fine. Just trying to get the happiest moments of our lives immortalized. That’s all.” Achilles gestured with the camera.

Patroclus peered over his sunglasses at Achilles, his dark eyes gleaming with amusement and waved to the kids. “Hey, one of you push me closer to your ridiculous grandad.” 

Phan came over first, looking adorable in a pair froggy goggles and tried to push. His little arms moving as hard as he could. “You’re too heavy!” 

Achilles laughed at the false outrage on Patroclus’ expression. He watched for a moment longer as the other kids came along to help then he went back to the camera. 

He stopped listening to the back and forward between Patroclus and their little grandbabies.

He had turned it on, the little light blinking at him mockingly, he knew it was taking photos by the clicking sounds…

Achilles peered through the camera and he reailzed that he was an idoit. Rolling his eyes at himself, he took off the led cover. He grinned when he saw the scene before him in crisp detail. 

Then with lighting quick taps on the button, got the exact moment a surprised Patroclus was tipped over, holding his beer high up to save it as his sunglasses went flying as water went up around them

Their grandchildren’s expressions of mischief and horror just made Achilles grin even more. 

Many more wonderful photos were taken that summer day but Achilles made sure to get that one framed.

~~

Message in a bottle

(Pre-relationship/It’s complicated, early twenties)

When it happened, you weren’t exactly surprised nor was anyone else who wasn’t living under a rock.

It was painfully oblivious that the way Endymion stared at Selene and the way she looked back that something was going on. You had tried to mention it to Hypnos, who merely ignored you.

Not that it hurt your feelings or anything. Just because you and him made out a few times during high school didn’t mean you and him were friends. 

Or anything like that. Ever.

The Endymion and Hypnos’ breakup had been a long time coming. 

Only you didn’t expect Endymion to publicly break up with Hypnos. On his birthday. For fucks sake, he could had done it literally anywhere else or any other day. You tried not to think about how you remembered when it was Hypnos’ birthday.

As Dolly Parton began pleading to Jolene to not steal her man, her drawl lingering in your ears, you took another glance as you ran the towel down the bar counter. 

Hypnos was sitting alone, an empty cocktail glass in front of him and a few shot glasses. He had stumbled in with a damp tank top and dipping swim shorts and began ordering drinks like the world was ending.

He looked ready to cry. Again.

With an annoyed sigh at yourself, you went to him.

You didn’t utter a word as you began making him another drink, one with considerably less alcohol in it. Hypnos only blinked when you placed it in front of him.

”On the house.” You told him, tossing the rag onto your shoulder, scanning the area. The bar was mostly empty, most people had left, a few lingering over the last call drinks. 

Hypnos let out a rueful chuckle, curling his long, elegant fingers around the glass. He said nothing for a long moment, sipping on the sugary drink. 

You didn’t mind. It allowed you a moment to study him. Hypnos had grown up while you were gone. He had gone from an awkward looking - but adorable- teen to something lovely, otherworldly. Heavy lidded golden eyes and elegant, slender limbs with flowing curls and a gorgeous, killer smile.

Although he hadn’t directed that smile at you for a long time. Endymion was a goddamn idiot far as you were concerned.

“I should have believed you.” Hypnos whispered, stirring the straw around the glass, the ice clinking together. 

“Hypnos-“

“I don’t know if it makes you feel better but I didn’t believe my brothers. Or my sisters. Or Meg. Or Dusa. Zagreus. Hell, now that I am thinking about it I am pretty sure even my mother tried to say something. So many people tried to warn me and it took me finding them in our bed before I acknowledged it. During the fucking pool party. They were fucking during my birthday get-together.” 

You nodded, not saying anything, recognizing that he just needed to speak. 

“Did you know I pleaded for him to just be honest with me? Even all that-'' Hypnos' voice cracked and he took another deep sip, almost to the bottom of the glass.

“I can help burn the mattress.” You offered. 

Hypnos didn’t laugh like you thought he would. He did meet your eyes and you were surprised that he didn’t look as drunk as you thought he would be. 

“Endymion hated you.” Hypnos told you, watching your expression. You lift an eyebrow but you weren’t that surprised. You had caught him glaring at you more than once. 

“Ever since I told him we hooked up in high school.” Hypnos added, licking his lips nervously. Your eyes followed the flash of pink flesh. 

At least you know why now. You resisted the urge to smirk at new knowledge. 

You remembered how soft Hypnos’ mouth felt under yours, the hungry way he kissed back, the soft whimpers he made when you kissed his neck, shivering under you. You wondered if he still responded so sweetly, so earnestly or if experience had trained him out of it. 

Fuck. 

This was a bad idea. For so many reasons. 

You swallowed. You were an adult, not some dumb kid who had a hardon for a guy who hated your guts ever since that damn lemonade stand rivalry. Hypnos shifted, tucking a curl behind his ear, his eyes darting away. 

He looked beautiful. Lonely.

“I get off in twenty minutes.” You told him. 

[27dragons]

A Dreamling Fic

It is really really really unusual for me to get a fic fully-formed in my brain all at once, but I was enjoying this post and I got to the one that was Hob and Dream labeled with "well-read jock / buff nerd" and this high school AU just kind of exploded on me, and I just wordvomited it at the Cohort and they did nothing to discourage me, and it's been quietly refining itself in the back of my brain since then. I have no idea if I will try to actually write this but if anyone else wants the idea, please take it! And link me when you're done because I definitely want to read it!

Okay, so Dream is done with elementary/primary school and he's about to start the 6th grade (or whatever the equivalent is for UK I guess but if I write it they're going to be surprise usamericans because I'm not doing that much research). It's a new school, one of those grade 6-12 academies. It's the first day of school and all the students are kind of wandering around in the schoolyard waiting for schedules to be handed out (which yes is totally unrealistic, just shhh go with it). Dream is terrified; the older kids are like three times his size and everyone is very loud and boisterous and there aren't any good corners to hide in here.

His big sister, knowing him as she does, rolls her eyes and takes his hand and drags him over to the area where most of the other new 6th graders are congregating and says, "Look, you're going to be with these people for the next 7 years, you have to make a friend."

Dream glares at her but she just glares back, so he turns to the nearest other kid and says, "We're friends now. What's your name?"

And the kid's name is Hob, and he's like super excited to make a new friend and maybe this won't be completely terrible.

Except that Dream and Hob are not in the same classes. Or the same lunch block. Or anything. And they don't really see each other at all.

But the next year, when everyone's wandering around waiting for schedules, Dream spots Hob and walks over like, "Hello Hob" and Hob just goes with it, he's like, "Hey it's my friend, awesome!" And that year... they also do not have any of the same classes or lunch or anything.

And so it goes. Every year, Dream finds Hob on the first day of school while they're milling around, and every year, that's the last time they really see each other. And in the meantime, Dream is a quiet nerdy goth introvert who never talks to anyone if he can help it, and Hob is getting into trouble and charming his way out of it and he has a bad patch one year but then pulls himself out of it and tries a whole bunch of different clubs and sports and pretty much everyone likes him.

And then sometime over the summer before 11th grade, they both realize that they, you know, LIKE-like each other. And while Hob is now immediately excited to see Dream again, Dream is having a horrible case of "oh shit I'm GAY" panic because despite being a moody introvert he's about as good at understanding himself as a cabbage.

School starts and Dream locks it down and comes over to say hi to Hob like always and Hob is suddenly like, "Hey! You know what, we get to learn to drive this year and after I get my license how about we get together away from school and go do something! Like a date!" and Dream (who is still firmly in the closet and panicking about it) massively overcompensates and is like "How dare you I'm not gay and even if I was I wouldn't even like you!" and storms off.

And, you know, same thing, they don't see each other for the rest of the year. Hob broods about it some and figures he'll just apologize when he sees Dream and they can go back to their weird friendship, it's all cool. But 12th grade starts and Dream... isn't there. Hob looks all over, but. No Dream. Fuck.

And then, halfway through the year or so, Hob's in the library working on his senior project and the chair across from his pulls out and he looks up and... it's Dream.

And Dream is like... his folks split up the previous summer and there was a whole custody thing and he had to go live with his crazy Uncle Roderick and horrible cousin Alex in another state and he absolutely hated it. But he just turned 18 and told told Uncle Rod to fuck off, and he moved out and switched back to this school and they can still be boyfriends now right?

[cami-stuffs]

Pushing Towards You

Chapter 5: Reconciliation

"Is that so bad?" Gaia woke up when Ártemis entered the room like a hurricane. "Ártemis sees her mothers together. Is that a bad thing?"

"The point is this shouldn't have  happened!" Calista said, pointing from her to Gaia. 

"Why? We were married!" Gaia got up. She was on the edge of a burst. 

"Exactly, Gaia! We were married. We're not together anymore. Last night, we were drunk and feeling nostalgic. That's all." Calista said, exasperated.

"Ohh... So it was the wine. Did we sleep together because of the wine?" Gaia was hurt. Calista could tell. 

"Gaia, please... Don't complicate things." Calista pleaded.

"I won't. Don't worry. I'll take my shower, and I'll leave for Nevermore. You don't need to bother yourself by taking me there." Gaia got out, slamming the door.

"Great, Calista. Well done! Get drunk and sleep with your ex-wife. You look like a teenager." Calista muttered to herself.

Calista headed to the bathroom and took a hot and relaxing shower. She would have to face her daughter sooner or later, but doing it after good self-care was better. She took her time to put herself together, but she couldn't waste more time. Ártemis was on the couch, watching the news and waiting patiently for Calista to leave the room. Calista looked around the living room.

"Relax, Mumma G has already left. She was not in a good mood, I must say." The girl alerted her mother.

"I can imagine that." Calista signed while heading to the kitchen to make breakfast. 

"Are you both okay? I mean, between all possibilities." The girl stood up and got nearest her mother.

"I'm sorry. You shouldn't have seen it. We shouldn't have done it." Calista apologized to her daughter. 

"That's okay, mum. You don't need to apologize to me. Of course, a girl can dream about having her parents married again. But I know you too well to see that your feelings didn't change. I'm afraid I know Mumma G as well. And, I guess she still had some hope until this morning." Ártemis was now hugging her mother.

"Yeah... And I probably just hurt her even more." Calista was feeling regretful for the way she spoke with Gaia.

"Let it be, Mum. Let her stay with her plants. They always make her feel better. She'll come by her sense in time." Ártemis concluded wisely.

"When did you grow up, kiddo? Where is my baby girl?" Calista caressed her daughter's hair with kindness. "Well... let's eat if we intend to spend the morning in Burlington."

Once in Burlington, Ártemis fancied a new outfit for school and a whole stationery kit. Calista was more than happy to provide all this unique experience to her daughter. At noon, they had fast food for lunch, as Ártemis desired, and while the girl was buying them some ice cream, Calista received a message. It was from Larissa.

"L: Hi. How are things going in Burlington? Are you two having a good time?"

"C: Hey. Morning! Things are going great. Temis made me buy her a lot of items she didn't certainly need."

"L: I bet she's having fun, then. Would you like to have dinner with us here in Nevermore? So you won't be on your own at home."

"C: That would be great. Thank you!"

"L: Marvelous. See you later. Oh...by the way, Gaia is moody today. She was not good company at lunchtime. What happened?"

"C: Hangover. Too much wine last night. I have a terrible headache, and she is in a bad mood."

"L: Ohh...I see. Well, let's take it easy tonight, then. Xx"

"C: Yeah... That would be wise. Xx"

Calista was distracted and with a funny face. She didn't notice Ártemis coming back with their ice cream.

"What are you laughing at?" Ártemis couldn't help but smile, too.

"Larissa just sent a message to ask if I would like to have dinner with you and took the opportunity to say that Mumma G is moody," Calista answered.

"Poor, Ms. Weems." Ártemis thought about Gaia being rude. "I like her, you know? Principal Weems. She seems to be a nice person. Were you friends at school?"

"We were. She was always with Mortícia, but sometimes we had time to speak peacefully. She is a nice person. But it would be best if you kept in mind that she is your Principal. When classes begin, she must do what she needs to keep the school running. There is a possibility that she won't have much time for you and won't be so gentle." Calista warned the girl. "Do not confuse the person with the Principal," Calista added.

"Copy that, mum." Ártemis bowed her head to Calista. After a few seconds, Ártemis asked, "Do you think she is married?"

"Who? Larissa? I don't think so, but it's been years since we last met. I don't have a clue about how her life is going." Calista wondered if Larissa had been serious with someone. "You tell me. You've spent a lot of time with her lately."

"She doesn't talk much about her personal life. Especially with me. I may be her former school friend's daughter, but I'm still a student at Nevermore." Ártemis said. "And it seems that our days are in a countdown." She was sad about that. 

"I didn't say that. I meant that this closeness between the two of you will be scarce. She will remain kind to you, but she is a Principal." Calista was finding it difficult not to worry about this friendship. Being away, it will be normal for Ártemis to look for Larissa to replace her mother. They were getting along too well. Will Larissa be ready for that? Will Gaia be prepared to see Ártemis getting close to Larissa? And Calista? Will she manage to watch all this from far away? "So, let's continue shopping, or do you would rather stay muttering to yourself?" Calista shook her thoughts away and stood up.

"Shopping!" Ártemis followed her mother.

They were driving back to Jericho when Calista started a conversation. 

"Are you willing to start a new life here?" She looked side-eyed to the girl, maintaining her focus on the road.

"Yeah... I have a good feeling about this school. I don't know; it feels like the right place to be." Ártemis was admiring the view. "I mean... Probably, it has the same issues as the normie's school. But being an outcast among outcasts, I believe, is much better. Even for a shapeshifter, I guess."

"I already told you this; you don't have to tell them. Take your time. Know who you're friends are." Calista reaffirmed. 

"I told Ms. Weems I was a shapeshifter. She was surprised. I guess we are not common in Nevermore, right?" The girl looked at her mother, who kept her eyes on traffic.

"No, you are not. So, you must be sure you wanna tell your friends." Calista gave a glimpse to Ártemis. "Nevertheless,  I am positive that Gaia and Principal Weems will stand by you regarding these terms. And you can always count on me. You know that. If you feel you must go back home, do it and call me." 

"Is it an insurance or a desire?" Ártemis tighten her eyes to her mother in an attempt to be suspicious.

"Neither. I want you to remember that you are not alone." Calista rushed to answer. "I will miss you, but I want you to be as happy as I was in Nevermore."

At this, Calista parked her car in front of the school and hugged her daughter. 

"Ohh... We are already here. That was a fast trip, Mom. It wouldn't be tiring if you had to do this daily journey." Ártemis muttered as if she were talking to herself. 

"What do you mean?" Calista already knew. But she made Ártemis express her feelings. 

"I am saying that when you get tired of missing me, you come to live in Jericho and work in Burlington. They have hospitals, a University, and a Medical Care Center. You can find a job there." Ártemis was shaking her arms, trying to make her mother understand.

"Are you also in a bad mood?" Larissa showed up frowning at them.

"Hi, Ms. Weems. We're not. I was just emotionally blackmailing my mother, and she was pretending she didn't comprehend it." Ártemis showed her teeth to Larissa with a significant smile and got into the school, leaving the adults behind.

Larissa made a question face to Calista at this statement. 

Calista let a heavy breath out and explained. "She is trying to convince me to quit my job as a University professor in North Carolina and move to Jericho. She has been in this attempt since we left home and now come to her sense that Burlington is nearby." Calista rounded the car and opened the trunk. 

"They have a university in Burlington, you know. And you can be around if she needs you." Larissa said as if it was apparent, and Ártemis was her only worry.

"You have joined the chorus too?" Calista looked up to the blond woman. 

"I am just saying it's not a bad idea. She would enjoy you living nearby. I would, too." She lowered her voice at this.

"Would you?" Calista tried to hide her surprise. 

"Of course. You know that." Larissa took some packs from the car trunk. "Let me help you with that. I imagine those are Ártemis'." 

"They are." That's all Calista could manage. She took the remaining packs and followed Larissa inside.

They headed to Ártemis' room in silence. Calista was thinking about what Larissa let out, and Larissa was giving a glimpse to Calista occasionally. That conversation was still on hold, and postponing it became more challenging. They found Ártemis looking for something inside the bags she handled.

"Hey... Here it is. All your shopping." Larissa said, putting the bags on the bed and giving the girl a soft laugh. 

"Thank you, Ms. Weems. Mumma C made me forget about them." She smirked, side-eyeing Calista.

"Oh... Now it's my fault." Calista sighed. "Speaking about guilty. Would Gaia be in the greenhouse? I need to speak to her." She turned to Larissa.

"Probably. She spent all day there. As I said, she was not on good terms today." Larissa replied.

"Yeaahh... Moral Hangover. Mumma C broke her heart this morning." It slipped away from Ártemis. She wide-opened her eyes, realizing what she just has said.

"Oh, Temis." Calista moaned, putting a hand on her face.

"What? Ms. Weems knows you've been married. Flashback happens, right?" The girl was organizing her new belongings in the bathroom. 

"Oooh...shut up!" Calista used her powers to slam the door and keep the girl inside.

"Now you use your powers?" Her voice was baffled.

"Did you sleep together last night?" Larissa lowered her voice and stared at Calista. Her eyes now were greyer than blue. Calista couldn't decide if it was sadness, anger, or jealousy.

"Not that I owe you any explanation, but yes. We drank too much wine, and I was feeling nostalgic for their departure, and one thing led to another. It was a mistake, and I might have been too rough with her telling the truth." Calista explained more than she intended to. "And now I want and have to apologize myself. I don't wanna leave with unresolved issues."

"That's exactly how you left me 22 years ago." Larissa was resentful.

"And where it has left us, huh?" Calista replied. "Gaia was my wife and mother of my daughter, and I'll fix things out."

*Knock knock*

"Mumma C, let me out! I've learned my lesson." Ártemis shouted from inside the bathroom. 

Calista and Larissa were close to each other, and before Ártemis got out, they backed off a little. At the sight of the girl, Calista cleaned her throat and nodded in Larissa's direction. 

"I'm sorry, Ms. Weems," Ártemis said, lowering her eyes.

"That's alright, my dear. After so many years around students, we get used to hearing those things." Larissa smiled at the girl.

"So, I see you both at dinner. I will humiliate myself to Gaia now." Calista looked at Larissa, and she nodded.

"Good luck!" Ártemis said.

"So, darling, how did you like Burlington?" Calista heard Larissa ask Ártemis from the hall while leading to the greenhouse. 

Gaia was working on her microscope when Calista arrived and leaned against the doorframe. She cleaned her throat to call Gaia's attention and received a mere glance over the device's eyepieces.

"May I come in?" Calista started the conversation.

"You're already in. But, yes, you may come nearer." Gaia answered, still looking through the microscope.

"I've come to apologize for earlier. It was far from my intention to hurt you, but I know I did it. I am truly sorry." Calista patted Gaia's hand.

Gaia let out a heavy breath, laying her forehead on the eyepieces. "I've thought about what happened between us last night and, yes, you were a brat with me this morning, but I must admit it shouldn't have happened." She looked at Calista with a soft smile. "You know I still love you, and last night felt like returning home. I know you don't feel the same, and I overreacted." Gaia was blushing hard.

"Still... It was not cool of me treat like that. I don't wanna go back home being on bad terms with you. We've been together for almost 20 years and have a daughter. You don't deserve the way I treated you." Calista insisted. 

"You're right. I am too good for that shit." Gaia scoffed, and both laughed at this. "Ohh... Forget it. I might have pushed it a bit, you know. But, as I always say..."

"...a girl can dream. Yes, I know." Calista completed the sentence. "So, friends again?"

"Well... Do you see that vase on the other side of the room? I honestly need it right now. If only someone could bring it to me. It would be awesome, and I would probably forget any misunderstanding." Gaia spoke as if it was not a big deal.

"I think I can manage that, you know? Easy peasy." Calista brought the vase to Gaia using her telekinetics.

"Oh... What do we have here? Just the vase I needed. " Gaia faked a surprise. She looked at Calista and gave her a slight smile. "We are okay, 'Lista. Let's move on."

"Thank you." Calista sat observing Gaia work at the vase.

"I owe Weems an apology as well. I guess I was a bit rude to her at lunch." Gaia mentioned while working. "My rudeness was for remaining silent all the time we ate. She tried to converse, but I was not in the mood."

"You don't have to worry about that. Ártemis already explained openly about it." Calista was laughing. 

"Oh God. Poor Weems. Ártemis is a piece of a kind. I imagine her face when 'Temis said she found us in bed together." Gaia was now with a bright grin on her face.

"Those blue eyes opened wide more than I thought possible. But I imagine she is used to listening about sex being the Principal of a teenagers' school." Calista chuckled.

Calista and Gaia talked about Calista's day with Ártemis in Burlington. Gaia was finishing her duties when Ártemis sent a message to Calista.

"A: I hope you are alive. Dinner is ready. We are having it in the yard again."

"C: Don't worry. Things are great. We are coming."

When Gaia and Calista arrived, Ártemis and Larissa were chattering and waiting for them. Calista enjoyed the connection between them, and it was noted by Gaia.

"They get along very well, huh?" Gaia whispered. 

"Yeah...I hope it makes it easier for Ártemis to adapt here. I count on you and, now, on Larissa to keep me aware of her needs." Calista whispered back.

"I can talk for myself, and you know I'll do anything to improve her life. I love that girl with all my heart, even if I look strict to her sometimes." Gaia's speech made Calista's heart infatuated. Calista held Gaia's hand and looked with a soft and thankful smile.

"Oh...I see you two are good again." Ártemis spotted the tender moment between mother.

"Yeah...Well, adults are like this, love. A roller-coaster." Calista kissed her daughter's head.

"Don't grow up so fast, baby." Gaia completed. "By the way, I'm sorry, Principal Weems, for earlier. It was not fine of me." Gaia apologized.

"Please, call me Larissa. Classes haven't begun yet, and we are here as friends." Larissa said with a smile. "And you don't need to apologize yourself. Everyone has a bad day." Larissa comforted.

"Thank you." Gaia bowed her head. "So, 'Temis, Mumma C told me that now you have even more belongings that you need," Gaia said playfully.

"I guess she overreacted. I needed all those things." Ártemis feigned affectation. 

"Oh yeah? Tell me about it." Gaia chuckled.

Dinner was light. Ártemis wanted to know everything about the events Nevermore held. Larissa was glad and proud to explain them to the girl. She has never had a student so eager to learn about the Academy. After the events, it was time to learn about the facility itself. In this field, Gaia and Calista joined the conversation to help Larissa describe the school and its grounds. Gaia was an expert on the forest. She was always wandering around, touching and learning about the plants. She was looking forward to showing everything to her daughter. To Ártemis' delight, Gaia suggested they could anticipate the picnic from next week to the following day. The idea was well-received by everyone.

"I guess I'm going to bed, then." Ártemis yawned. "Good night, Mumma C. Drive home safely. Good night, Mumma G. Good night, Ms. Weems." Ártemis received farewell for the remaining and left for her quarters.

"I'll follow 'Temis' steps and hit the night." Gaia stood up. "Good night, 'Lista. Drive safely. " She kissed Calista's head crown. "Good night, Larissa. Sleep tight, you both." And then, she left.

Larissa and Calista were now alone and sitting in front of each other at the table.

"I can see you two made up." Larissa started.

"Yeah... I didn't have to humiliate myself. Gaia has her heart in place." Calista answered with a grin.

"She does indeed." Larissa agreed. "I am sorry for reacting that way in Ártemis bedroom. I have no right to reclaim any explanation to you. Especially about your marital life." Larissa stared at Calista, looking for forgiveness.

"That's alright. Let's forget about it." Calista said.

"By the way, I've heard your voicemail. You have my word that I'll help Ártemis with anything she needs about her powers. Shapeshifters are outcasts among outcasts. I've never been open about my abilities around our schoolmates, which caused me pain. I don't Ártemis to feel the same." Larissa soothed Calista.

At that moment, Calista was sure her daughter would have the support she needed to succeed, and Calista was beyond happiness.

"This support is essential to me. Thank you." Calista answered with watering eyes. "Well, It's late, and I should get going. Tomorrow, we are going to have an adventure day." She said, standing up.

"I'll accompany you to the door." Larissa paired with Calista, and they followed in silence.

Calista turned to Larissa at the car, and they looked at each other a bit longer.

"I am having a great time around you and your family these fast days," Larissa said, holding Calista's hand. "I'm thrilled we met again."

That was sufficient for both. They closed the space between them and leaned for a kiss. Calista's heartbeat accelerated, and she cupped Larissa's chin with tenderness. It was exactly as she remembered. The same softness and the same smell. Today, Larissa's breath had scents of wine. Calista felt Larissa's hand on the back of her head. Before the kiss goes deeper, Calista's phone rings. The two women backed, startled. 

"Oh...Hey, 'Temis, what happened?" Calista put a hand on her chest. Larissa's gaze softened after hearing Ártemis' on the speaker.

"A: Hey, Mumma C. Could you bring me hot chocolate from The Weathervane tomorrow?"

"Of course, baby girl. Your hot chocolate will be with you in the morning." Calista said, laughing and raising an eye to Larissa.

"A: Thank you, Mom. Good night. I love you."

"I love you more, precious. Sleep tight. See you tomorrow." Calista hung up the phone. "Well...I guess this is my cue. I have to go." She said, looking at Larissa and holding her hand.

"Do you have to go?" Larissa pleaded Calista.

"I think it is better this way, for now. Besides, I have a hot chocolate order for tomorrow." Calista remembered. 

"Well, in that case, could you bring me one too?" Larissa asked, rounding her arms in Calista's waist and pulling them together. 

"How could I deny a request like this one?" Calista pecked a kiss on Larissa's lips.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay?" Larissa tried again.

"I am sure. Besides, we must have that conversation before we go any further." Calista resisted.

"Yeah... I guess you are right." Larissa kissed Calista's lips and let her go. "Good night." She said, caressing Calista's cheek.

"Good night, Larissa." Calista kissed Larissa's hand and went ahead to her car.

Chapter 4 | Chapter 6

[bluelolblue]

Requested by my mom ❤️

Shout out to my mom! LET'S GO MOM! SHE LOVES KEANU REEVES and she started to like Riccardo bc of me ^ ^

About cooking! I talked about it a little before but this is gonna be a bit more detailed

Santino x John cooking headcanons

I say they both know how to cook but since lately I've been writing about John cooking for Santino, imma explain that first :)

John is good at cooking, he enjoys it. Especially if it's for Santino.

Okay, I don't think he is good at cooking everything but at most things, he is

He loves cooking something Santino wants. Literally whatever Santino asks for, if he can do it, he's doing it.

Yeah, there were times where Santino would walk in bc the alarm is beeping and just see John with burnt food, whatever it is, it burned.

And John would immediately start to apologize and all but it's kinds funny to Santino. He isn't mad at him when it happens, he would even offer himself to help him clean it and make new.

So, John tries his best. For Santino he does. When he was alone... not that much.

Another thing is that yes, because of Santino, he started to learn how to cook various new dishes and got his will to cook back.

C'mon, Santino is Italian, even if he is sometimes very lazy to cook, when he gets inspired... he is making whatever he wants (if he knows how to make it).

But it's usually something Italian cuz that's his specialty.

For some reason during summer when John is trying to stay alive and not die of overheating, having the air-conditioned on almost 24/7, this little guy is in kitchen making carbonara, bolognese or pizza (he makes a good fucking pizza).

I also think his favorite pizza is the mozzarella one ^ ^

John is amazed because Santino has moments when it's way too hot outside or in their house, he just gets so moody and snappy, and now when he is literally sweating bc he is next to a hot oven, he is okay. Not moody or anything.

But then again... it's Santino and he loves him the way he is.

Santino is really good at cooking, he doesn't cook often but when he does, John wants the seconds.

But he really hates when he is sweaty after cooking... so he gets moody after he is done cooking.

It's also a new way for Santino to show his affection to John. Since he struggled with it when they started dating, John managed to taught him over time that it's okay to show affection. From cuddling and kissing to making breakfast, lunch or dinner.

Oh and Santino would sometimes as John if he wants to try, if he needs to add more ingredients, if it's too salty, or it's missing something.

John does the same with Santino, asks if he wants to try and to tell him his opinion. It's basically like, "Babe, wanna try?" And he holds out the spoon for him.

They both also like sweets. And I think John is a bit better at making a dessert than Santino.

For example, what I wrote for a fic where John makes him waffles and pancakes, for some reason John strikes me as a breakfast making type of guy. And Santino started to love pancakes that John makes.

Breakfast in bed for Santino absolutely.

Oh and both of them sometimes just bother each other while cooking. Like, Santino acts like a cat. He would hug John from behind, kiss his neck, or poking around and asking what's he doing, or tries to give his advice.

John does something similar, also hugs him, wants to help but he is mostly quiet and lets Santino cook in peace.

Don't mess up Santino's cooking because he will complain a lot.

But, they also sometimes cook together. And it's just so sweet because they help each other, and just ends up with more kisses and... if John lifts Santino on the table... it can turn into something a bit more intimate >:]

So, they both enjoy cooking, it also brought them closer and it feels nice. It makes them happy.

Well, I'm hungry now LMAOO! Thanks again to my mom for this ❤️, I like to think about them two cooking, it's so much fun! 💙🖤

[2n2n]

Rereading through things, trying to notice more things about Kou & think about his arc with Mitsuba... not really an organized thought stream, some unrelated things, but I can't really imagine making separate posts for dinky thoughts so... you get 1 post Kou ...

my first thing is... the aquarium breakdown really was such a long time coming. Picture Perfect often depresses me.... as I've said before, Kou is almost insisting the exact opposite thing to what Nene-chan is to Hanako (i.e. "Amane-kun... you're Hanako-kun, aren't you? [...] (are we that alike?) "yes, you are.") collapsing the two identities into the one person they are, even if Hanako himself is past believing that .... while Kou is insisting the opposite to Mitsuba, who also similarly dissociates from the human identity (i.e. "I'm a fake... I'm not what you wanted" "it's all fake [...] you, trying to be Mitsuba [...] you, be Mitsuba?").... this is kind of not the peak of their dynamic to me, but its lowest point

but more importantly... despite the drama... Kou is stupid, so he is easily distracted, and despite all he says, he is caught up in Nene-chan's lifespan quickly. Mitsuba tries to redirect him here...

....despite being his fussy self, you can tell he's actually quite hurt to be put on the backburner, again and again... that he isn't really the priority without demanding. It's wearing away at him, Kou's inconsistency...

...something even a problem between them in After-School Boy-- Mitsuba kind of has to regularly force himself into Kou's life (why isn't he just invited to things like lunch...? he lives in the school.. why is HanaNene SO much closer, even despite Hanako's own reluctance towards vulnerability...?)

... despite the way he behaves, I think Mitsuba is an extremely submissive & humble person by nature (occasionally acting out, but more often out-of-sight, moody & dwelling on his situation, trying to lower expectations). After all, he changed his entire personality in an attempt to please others while alive.

back to PP... Mitsuba is trying to make space for himself, but,

in the arc after this, Mitsuba seems to have accepted it's more likely Kou is worrying about Nene-chan-- he has lost that will to demand attention over & over again, seemingly. I think he's really so humble about everything....!

Mitsuba attempts to listen & think about & alter his behavior to be a better friend, to be something Kou needs in his life, maybe even something his other friends can't or don't do. He hears Kou has a problem with talking about his feelings... so he immediately tries his best to do that. Is Kou really just too dumb to think about doing it?

well, according to the aquarium scenes & some other bits... it's not actually that he's just dumb, it's that he's actively resistant to it & has a discreet concept of strength which does not allow for it (& I'd argue masculinity, I think he's the most aggressively masculine one in the cast & the least tolerant of something like crossdressing...)

Kou crying for his situation isn't really enough. Mitsuba will still see it as a generic 'heroic' position, a reaction to 'sadness' or a 'situation', but not 'himself'. Kou's crying is owed to his open-hearted nature which would respond to anybody in pain. It's enough to Mitsuba that someone feel the same generic, undifferentiated feeling they would for like, a sad story on the news of a kid dying or someone jumping off a roof.

... after all, Mitsuba's current goal is not 'to be beloved' or even 'to have a best friend'... it is merely 'to be a person'. In that way, he isn't hard to please & again, he is very, very humble. He's wanting less than he even did when alive. It's a very sad wish.

Mitsuba is not really capable of imagining himself as the priority, even now. He still defaults to assisting Kou in some other way he imagines Kou wants more. Mitsuba certainly has an instinct to diminish himself.

it is not improving... yet!

but to think about Kou a little more....

I think I have distilled what it is about Mitsuba & Kou that makes it very hard to breech into some kind of romantic sphere for my brain. Romance or 'love' doesn't really have anything to do with the 'problems' that they have, and it's distinct in a manga where other's problems do innately come with a necessary confession, or at least one party definitely vying for & needing romantic fulfillment ... there are a few types of fulfillment.

Kou's problem is ... that he needs to actually understand & unpack 'heroism' and 'strength' 'weakness' and 'good' and 'right' and 'wrong'. That has been the very first questioned poised to his character

... he's not actually made any progress there, beyond challenging TERU's dogma. He's challenged Teru's individual actions, but, not his strength... that's defined very traditionally.

he hasn't begun unpacking that.

... and Mitsuba, Teru, and I believe Yorimitsu's history, are there to help him unpack it, & the rest of the dogma (including the part where it's his place to decide who is punished, just due to being a Minamoto lol....)

Unlike Hanako, who started this series claiming to have no human feelings or sense of value, or Hakubo, who begins his story believing feelings are beyond him, or Aoi, who feels she is innately & inherently unlovable due to her nature & a mistrust of others,

Kou's arc doesn't really involve not having love....

Of course he loved his mom, he loves his family, he loves his friends. He cherishes things readily, he even knows he loves Nene-chan. Instead, Kou is kind of empty of meaningful values... he says & believes in hurtful things, he reinforces systems that hurt Mitsuba, Teru. He perpetuates things, even now. (I would say Hakubo, Akane, & Hanako's only values meanwhile, are love-based, centering on their beloved & shifting according to whatever must be done for them, REGARDLESS of conventional value or morality.......... which is simultaneously more beautiful & noble, & dangerous for everyone else. fun!!! romantic (: )

Mitsuba's existence challenges him on the values he was raised with & forces him to consider new things, including... what the meaningful divide between kaii and human (which he has been taught his whole life) even is.

I've said it before, but I get the impression Yorimitsu will challenge Kou's definition of 'strength', since Yorimitsu was both legendary, & 'defective' (as he self-describes; aaand we never see him use any electrical power, which we know is celebrated in the Minamoto bloodline, as Tiara has tremendous power & was named for her prestige). He also contributed to a terrible system which propagated atrocities! That's complicated! Even more complicated than Teru, who 'at least' only brutalizes 'kaii' and is 'strong' traditionally.

The Minamoto family themselves get bound with kaii-restricting beads when misbehaving, & have lightning powers. Could the family's very nature challenge the binary of 'kaii' & 'human'? Are the Minamoto overcompensating by being cops? Natsuhiko is some sort of cursed human, & is also threaded with Kou's arc, so... could his existence also blur that line? Much to contribute.

Should Kou get inspiration from the story of Yorimitsu, that you don't need high spiritual power like Teru or Tiara to be 'strong'? Or should he be ashamed of the triumphs of Yorimitsu, a history of being loyal to a family even when that family is sending children to die? Is Yorimitsu strong or weak? He seemed to do as he was told. So does Teru. Is that Strength? Kou certainly wishes people would tell him what to do, so he has the opportunity to be strong. He sees not being approached as confirmation that he's a lost cause. Being 'counted on'.

On the other end....

What does it even mean to 'become a kaii'? What is that difference? Kou is balancing on the edge of experiencing that difference, by wanting to become a kaii. He's wrestling with the lack of a clear separation by the Red House's inception (so, he's come farther since Picture Perfect, where he draws a clear line between the 'kaii Mitsuba' and the 'real Mitsuba')

... Kou has to unpack....

his idea of 'person' or 'human' and 'kaii', his idea of 'good/bad', his idea of 'strong/weak'. He is made of nothing but binaries. I think a major milestone is understanding his brother, Teru, is incredibly weak, and I don't think Teru will find any peace himself until Kou can impress this upon him, either. In many ways I think it will free Teru lol. I also think Mitsuba can make no progress in his journey of self-value without Kou being the one to impress upon him that he is indistinguishable from the human Mitsuba, that he does not lack any personhood (no more than Hanako lacks personhood, or is so distinguishable from Amane) ............. and by the way, I think Tsukasa is also utterly essential to that revelation, as a person whos position on the border of self-and-other is so incredibly dubious, it is a hot-topic debate to both Kou himself and to the fandom.

....... that's a lot for Kou to have to tackle. He's often the one digesting the harsher-defined concepts due to his upbringing having given them such intense binaries, our example of an INDOCTRINATED HUMAN facing these DICHOTOMIES, & that traditional & ancient idea of 'STRENGTH' or 'MASCULINITY' or 'HEROISM'.... while Nene-chan much more naturally errs on the open-minded side, without that prejudice. It isn't necessarily a lesson she needs to learn....

... there is a lot of overlap in themes, imagery, but I do not think Kou & Nene-chan have the exact same path to follow ... I do not think falling in love is really .... something I see as a part of Kou's journey... but his values do need to prioritize Mitsuba & his concepts need to not erase his humanity or value.

.... in many ways, I think Mitsuba + Kou exists in this 'plausibly deniably romantic' space as much as things suchas Teru + Kou, and Amane + Tsukasa. Like Amane + Tsukasa, there is a question of value, a question of Amane needing to give a reason for Tsukasa to stay with him, or a reason to live. Tsukasa doesn't insist on existing. How do you make someone stay by your side, if you won't tell them how you feel? Sumire and Hakubo is surely the romantic version, but there are many versions. I ship the Yugi immensely so, but I don't believe their canonical arc necessitates a kiss/romance/etc, though it does necessitate a form of confession, an admittance of need & value. It would be enough to let Tsukasa know you love him, how, and why. (Also, obviously, it's all BLbait & AidaIro themselves ship everything, or else we wouldn't get crud like matching heart locket twins or matching rings...) Kou needs to for real say what Mitsuba, SPECIFICALLY, means to him... we do need it to become personable and not about heroism.

Whereas....

for Hakubo, embracing his own desires (not virtues or morals or anything more abstract, which has never been relevant to Hakubo ... who is simultaneously ironically relied on by his village FOR protection & still dehumanized/hated), does come with acting upon them. We need to see Hakubo do something he wants. He has to 'take' Sumire, for himself, for his own lust. And... I honestly don't think we're even done with Hakubo maybe, since we see him walk off, but not die (I dunno, could he hobble back in demanding to be a mystery again, for Sumire's soul to be drawn back, to do it all again, & again, much like Tsukasa & Amane seem to crave repetition in their oblivion? This isn't relevant.)

For Aoi, accepting that Akane could really see all of her, every inch, every flaw, & love her anyway, say everything he does with clarity & perception, does come with allowing herself to finally love him, allowing him to love her. That's her entire issue, distancing & rejecting.

... Hanako is complicated... too much to go into... but so many pieces lol. There is after all, things to accept & express with Nene-chan, & other things to accept & express with Tsukasa.

... anyway I hope that all doesn't come across so much like a takedown or something, I wanted to unpack what I feel Kou's arc needs, & why it's hard to portent romance within it all for me whenever I look at it. He has so much on his plate & I would almost be frustrated by romance with him right now, fldkjfkldfj; he kind of doesn't deserve it & has way more to do first!!!!!!! YOU HAVE GOTTA BE OPEN TO DESTROYING THE SYSTEMS OF POWER HURTING THOSE YOU LOVE FIRST!!!! You can't abandon onii-chan either, he needs you to call him weak & pathetic so he can ascend into some true form. <- somehow the main thing I'm waiting for. But well, in Narisokonai Snow White Estelio is mentally BEGGING!!!! Rasphard to understand him as weak... I wanna see AidaIro tackle that again but actually finish it off... that reveal is only in the afterstory, for chrissake!!! it's the END OF THE GAME so we'll never get it... COME ON KOU, THIS ONE THING YOU COULD DO FOR ME...!

[fenimores-book-nook]

Day 12 of self care writing!

December 6th, 2023, Wednesday 9:51 pm In my room with candles burning, an Arizona green tea, and hot cheetos. :)

Gooooood evening, a late one once again but that's alright. I was debating on doing a self care writing tonight but then I decided to after I got off facetime with my besties. Since I'm not going to college, I don't have homework like most of my other friends so my "homework" is this. Except, I actually want to do it. So it isn't really homework. Well, it's mental health/self care homework. ;)

Events of the daaaaay ~

6:30 am - 1:00 pm, I woke up, did some morning yoga, and got dressed/ready for work. Left for work and, well, worked until I got off at 1. I think work was pretty good today, it was sort of a slow day but that gave me plenty of time to start working on my friends' Christmas illustrations I'm making for them! I got two friends' ones done today. One of them is Taylor Swift themed and has the lyric: "I love you to the moon and to Saturn" on it. That lyric is used by us a lot, so it's kind of a thing between us. :) Then, the second one that I finished is The Owl House themed. I copied this photo I found on pinterest/from the show and made my own drawing of it:

Because that friend is the only one out of my friends that has watched The Owl House and we both love it. *OWL HOUSE SPOILER AHEAD* We also act like siblings together so I'm convinced that we are versions of Luz and Hunter in our universe. Since they basically become "chosen siblings," or, well, yeah, I'd say Hunter becomes a Noceda by the end. So of course, I had to incorporate that into a Christmas gift. ;)

1:30 pm - 7:00 pm, after work I grabbed lunch and headed home. Then I kind of just chilled, watching Doctor Who. A bit after, I took a shower and changed into comfy clothes and worked on my illustrations and watched Wizards of Waverly Place until my mom came home from work and we headed to the vet to pick up Charlie; our doggo. He got 'fixed' today, poor thing is probably tired out. When we came back home, I chilled a bit more and ate supper, then headed up to my room to just *ahhhhhhh.* You know?

7:30 pm - 9:30 pm, I was on facetime with my besties chatting about when we wanted to get together for Christmas, before some of us leave for the holidays. Which was a much needed facetime. Every time I facetime my friends it always brightens my day in the perfect way. After we got a date set and chatted for a while most everyone got off the call except for me and one of the besties, so we stayed on for quite a while longer and just talked about random things. It was so silly and great, I loved it. :)

My babes, Delilah, from this morning when she was very comfortably sitting and cleaning herself like this on my bed. (she's such a pretty lil' baby tho)

Self care writingggggg ~

Three things that I am proud of myself for today: One, for completing two illustrations for my friends! Even if it wasn't "for me," in a way it sort of was, because I really enjoyed illustrating them. :) Plus, I've been wanting to do more illustrations. Two, for putting in some of my therapy things into actual practice. It was a little difficult but hey, I tried and that's something to be proud of. Three, for trying to get myself out of an iffy mood instead of just letting my moodiness take over. Even if it included watching silly little tik toks that make me laugh, it counts.

Two things that happened today that I don't want to forget: One, how I remembered the feeling of how much love I feel towards musicals and just productions in general. They make me so happy and seem so magical to me. Like, MAGIC. The cast, the writing, the music, the SHOW. Magic. Two, how I felt when I was facetiming my friends and after too. I felt like that was the thing I needed to make my day really great. <3

One thing that I should recognize more: How lovely my life really is. Not necessarily the things that make my life "easier," but the things that just, make my life. The lovely things.

Chip and Dale Christmas gif for you because Christmas is ONLY IN 19 DAYS. :D

Have a lovely night/day/afternoon, you lovely human.

Until next time,

Thalia <3

[mental-mario]

Monu-Mentally Shredded

I didn't realize today is Mental Health Awareness day, but I figure it is all the more fitting then that I recount my hospitalization in the psych ward last week. This may run long and require at least a Part II.

The day started at 8am with a routine blood draw. My psych put me on lithium recently, and this was a routine test prior to my follow-up appointment to check my lithium blood level. For context, I have been depressed and suicidal for much of my life, but I didn't get it addressed until the last year because I was taught that it was shameful or weak to receive any care for emotions and mental health. I always felt like something was mentally "off" about me, though, and after sitting 9 months on a waitlist, I finally got accepted as a psych patient. I was then diagnosed MDD and BPD, as well as OCD, BPII, and ADHD. My older daughter was also diagnosed ADHD and ASD1 earlier this year, but I digress.

This has been a particularly hard year amongst many hard years, and after I got fired I spiraled into a free fall. I stayed in bed and slept a lot, cut myself, binged on snacks when I finally did get out of bed some, and I was especially irritable and moody, even yelling and cursing at one of the school's teachers in the car line, with my kids in the car. I wish I could say that was out of character for me, but sadly it isn't. I did a better job in previous years holding my negative thoughts underneath the surface (not a good thing), but with going no-contact with my parents and sibling's family for a second time as well as navigating the choppy waters of my marriage, my depression, anger, and burnout became too much for me to suppress. It wasn't much of a surprise after seeing the lacerations on my arm that my psych "urged" me to go to the hospital voluntarily. I put that in quotes because he really said I can either go on my own or be committed involuntarily. So I think I made the better choice.

I had been to the ER once or twice before in life, but this was my first time in the psych triage and consequentially being admitted. The triage was locked down with several security personnel on hand. I was shown to a bed in a small area with a posted camera in the corner and a sitter to watch me, and they took my clothes, phone, keys, and wallet and had me get into a big green paper jumpsuit. While I waited to have another blood draw, EKG, and urine tox screen done, a large man with profound autism stripped naked in the hallway and pissed on the floor. Once the tests were completed, I was escorted upstairs by wheelchair to a unit that I could only describe as the holding tank.

I'm not really sure what the point of being on this unit was, so maybe someone can comment if they know better. I was brought into a room with 2 empty beds, a bathroom, and 2 TVs with 1 on and no remote. The staff had me order lunch (I was in no mood to eat), and I was able to call my wife from the phone on the wall with the extra short cord. I'm not entirely sure someone wasn't listening in on those calls because the phone made some weird clicking noises when it was connecting. I went back to the room after making my phone call and was provided an atarax to calm my nerves. It worked, and I napped until lunch arrived. I ate very little of the frozen stir fry they gave me, but I did eat the bowl of grapes. I arrived at the ER around 10am, and it wasn't until around 5pm that I was finally transported over to the unit.

Security had me go through a metal detector before being let in. They said you'd be surprised what people do to try and sneak things in. Inside, there was a front unit and back unit, and I was escorted to the back. I was then sat into a chair near the nurse's desk, which was locked inside by badge lock and behind thick - I assume bulletproof - glass. I then waited for them to take my vitals...again! I looked around. There were probably 10 patients on the unit, and they were also all dressed in the same green paper jump suit. The lighting was all fluorescent in the hallways, and there was one phone hanging on the wall for patients to use, also with a short cord. I've not been to prison, but I do imagine some similarities would be experienced. The other patients were in the dayroom area eating dinner, while I was taken into another room by a nurse and another staff member as witness to strip search me. This made it feel all the more like prison, and if this was supposed to make me feel less like killing myself, it failed miserably.

I am going to break it up here, but look out for Part II coming up real soon!

I am currently playing Shredder's Revenge, and I highly recommend the DLC if you haven't gotten it yet. The survival mode online is a lot of fun, and I feel like I get a limited social interaction out of it, even though I have no idea who is on the other side of the wifi. With that said, I have no community or irl friends, so I would love for some virtual company. I am adding my friend code below, so send me a friendvite and message me when you're available to play. I am also planning to open up rooms from time to time in games for anyone reading this blog or my socials (as I get them going) to join via code, and I will post the code up with first come first served. So be sure to follow the blog here. I hate the term "followers," so I prefer to call you my friends, if I may.

My friend code is: SW - 4419 - 5159 - 3401. I will also post this on the blog bio for reference, as well as the QR code. I want friends!!...but with boundaries, lol!

[dansnaturepictures]

22/09/2023-Lakeside and home

Photos taken in this set are of: 1. One of a few smashing Speckled Woods it was thrilling to see. 2. An exquisite Green-veined White seen soon after, with these and others in the bright sunshine of lunch time and across the day it felt like a step back in time into the peak butterfly days. 3. One of a few nice Collared Doves seen on both my lunch time and evening walks at Lakeside today and at home tucked in to a tree. 4-8. Views at Lakeside, with the bright sunshine of lunch time and moody scenes in the evening I also enjoyed another rainbow today and yesterday at home tonight. 9. Juvenile Mute Swans which I was delighted to see well on Concorde lake treasuring close views of them, it's the first swans I've seen at Lakeside for ages possibly the first time I've seen of any here this year. Mute Swan did used to be a frequent sight here. 10. Pineappleweed at Lakeside, a pretty plant I'm making the most of lately.

It was good to see Moorhen, four Great Crested Grebes over two lakes across the walks, Jackdaw, Carrion Crow, Magpie, a lovely Swallow just as I was thinking I'd not seen many hirundines here of late as the season gets on, Long-tailed Tit and hear Robin well again lately with Chiffchaff heard on the way home tonight. Between Lakeside and out the front exotic Comma, eyecatching Peacock, Red Admiral, my first Lakeside Meadow Brown for a little while this evening, Common Darter out the front and sensational views of Migrant Hawkers at Lakeside again including possibly looking to lay eggs were strong insect moments on my walks. I liked seeing the two Long-bodied Cellar spiders at home today, the beautiful one in its web out the front and Grey Silverfish yesterday evening. The terrapin just poking above water was an intriguing sight at Lakeside. Other plants seen at Lakeside were brilliant late knapweed and oxeye daisies, field scabious, broad-leaved clover, lovely little black medick, wild carrot, herb-Robert, sun kissed rose hips, hawthorn berries, wild service tree berries, apples and hogweed seed heads. I liked seeing bits of buddleia, lavender and steeplebush still going in the front garden and firethorn berries.

[rlqfpdl]

Anonymously Knowing You

Fem!Reader x Luke Castellan

Summary: As you start to find comfort in your new friendship you establish some rules to keep yourself anonymous.

A/N: part two is out!! Hope you guys like it, feedback is always welcomed. Taglist if open comment or send ask to be added!

Taglist: @idli-dosa @v1ckycheesue @randomgurl2326

Word Count: 1.7k

series masterlist

previous | next

“So, how was school today?” asked your mom, as both you and Percy ate opposite each other, seemingly ignoring each others' presence. “Do anything fun?” She pushed again, frustrated with the current state of her children. It was normal for you not to talk while eating lunch with your family, but Percy’s unusually quiet demeanor added to your mother’s concern. 

“I'm going to have to stay at school to work with a study group. I might be late some days” you said, averting your eyes in hopes that she wouldn't see through the lie. 

“Oh, isn't that wonderful. Then I guess Percy and I will be seeing you less,” she said, her words carrying genuine meaning behind them.

 “Actually, I am also staying for a study group after school,” continued Percy, nudging your foot  and giving you a disapproving look. Percy didn't like lying to your mom;  he was honest and open with her, telling her about everything that happened, maybe sometimes omitting certain parts but still. Meanwhile, you seemed to resort to lies more often. It wasn't that she would disapprove of your particular life choices, you just felt like she didn't really care about them like she did for Percy. 

“Silena invited me for a sleepover. Can I go?” you asked, swiftly changing the subject.

“Actually, Leo also invited me for a sleepover,” commented Percy,maintaining his disapproving gaze at you, one lie after the other.

 “Sure, you both can go. I don't see why not” 

“Thanks, Mom. Love you” you said, rising to kiss her on the cheek leaving your mom surprised. “Moody teenagers, I'm telling you,” Percy concluded as he also made his way to his bedroom. 

It wasnt that you didn't enjoy parties, but they weren’t your scene either. Silena was lucky enough to have parents that never were home and a house big enough to throw a party. You found yourself playing beer pong with Clarisse against Percy and Jason. Clarisse kept winning, much to Jason's annoyance. “Hey you're cheating” said Jason starting to get pissed off at the large amount of cups they had left compared to you guys almost full set.  Overwhelmed by the crowd gathered mainly to witness Clarisse’s victories, you decided to walk away and find somewhere quieter. 

As you maneuvered through the crowd, a hand wrapped around your arm. “Y/N, come dance with me,” said Silena, a faint scent of alcohol lingering around her as she started to sway her body to the rhythm of the music. With a smile, you joined her, already having a few drinks in your system. You grabbed each other's hands  and swayed along with the music, sharing laughs, a momentarily bearable atmosphere. But, as always, all good must come to an end. Silena suddenly  felt a pair of arms slither around her waist. “Babe, where were you?” she asked, turning around to see Beckendorf, her attention fully diverted to him,leaving you on the sidelines.

You simply moved out of the way, no longer in the mood to continue dancing, opting for a less crowded corner of the house. Pulling out your phone, you debated on texting your new friend or not.

Unknown

Since when did parties get so boring?

Your palms are sweating as you hit send, staring at your phone as if it could magically produce a rapid response. Meanwhile, Luke found himself alone on a friday night, choosing not  to attend the party he was invited to. Instead, he immersed himself in some random project, only to be interrupted by the appearance of a new notification.

Unknown 

Well depends who you spend time with 

Was your date a no show?

Laughing out loud as you saw the message, you began to type a response. A small flutter of excitement tingled in your stomach as you hit send.                                                  

Unknown 

Is that how you flirt?

And there’s no date 

Unknown 

Sorry am really bad at flirting 

Unknown 

I can see that 

Never do it again 

Luke smiled at your exchange of texts, making his way towards his bed as he typed away, noticing that you were doing the same. 

Unknown 

So you hate parties? 

Unknown 

Something like that 

Hitting the send button once again, you continued to type, only to flinch as you heard a loud knock on the window. Clarisse stood there, grinning wide as ever, indicating that someone was up to something stupid. “Come on, Y/N, you’ve got to see Travis chug a beer through his nose,” she said excitedly, jumping as she dragged you towards the commotion. 

The hype slowly died down as the clock struck 2 am. People began to walk away, carrying their drunk friends and laughing about the stupid decision they had made. You might have lied to your mom about why you were sleeping over, but you were indeed staying at Silena’s. sitting with your legs in the pool, you watched people leave, Percy right next to you.

“Have you ever tried kombucha?” he asked, gulping down the strange drink in his hands. You only grabbed onto it, taking a sip yourself. Percy pulled out his phone, starting to film a story for his close friends. “The last survivors of the night, with my cool older sister,” he said, zooming into you, chuckling at his statement. 

“I'm not cool, Percy,” you responded as he posted the video. You looked down at your feet avoiding your brother's scolding eyes. “The fact that you don't recognise it makes you cooler, Y/N,” he remarked, and a comfortable silence fell between the two of you. 

Building up the courage to speak a bit more , you began, “Perce I'm sor-”, only to be interrupted by Leo’s voice, “Percy we’re leaving,” making your brother jolt up and run towards his friends. Soon, he left too, leaving you there smiling bitterly at the god awful kombucha in your hands.

It was finally monday, meaning it was the first day of detention. “You'll work in pairs during detention: so Jackson 1 and Grace, you're working together, Valdez, you’re alone. Jackson 2 and Castellan, off to work” said Ms. Ava working on her knitting, Leo frowning at the thought of being left alone while Percy and Jason cheered, as you groaned at the prospect of working with the new guy. 

“Well, get up, guys, we don't have all day,” repeated your teacher, prompting  all of you to finally stand up and head towards your respective duties. Grabbing the buckets provided, you made your way towards the greenhouse, noticing that Luke was struggling with the box in his hands 

“You need help with that?” you offered, albeit half heartedly.

“I’m okay,” he responded dryly as you led the way. 

You settled down your supplies, carefully adding soil to your box in preparation for adding seeds. You noticed how Luke grabbed the bag of seeds ,ready to dupe its contents. 

“Wait, you have to first add water,” you stopped him, spraying some water on the soil. “Then you can add the seeds.” Handing him back the bag, you watched as he dumped them all at once. “You're not supposed to do it like that,” you complained, but Luke only stared at you, annoyed. He grabbed a rake, thinking it would solve his little mishap, only to be met by more complaints from you. 

“No, that tool isn't for that, and that bag you have isn't even soil,” you pointed out, Luke took a step back as he started to grow even more annoyed at your bossiness. “You're not helping by doing everything wrong,” you finished off angrily, patting down more soil. “Haven't you thought that maybe I'm just doing it my way?” he asked.

“Well, haven’t you thought that maybe your way isn't that right one?” you sassed back, rolling your eyes out of instinct. “Do you enjoy doing things your own way? Or the way people taught you to?” he retorted, copying your eye roll. “What would you know about how I do things? You don't even know me.” 

“I know people have been saying you roasted Ms. Dots,'' he said jokingly, your blood boiling at the sound of his words. “You know what people say about you?” Luke's ears perked up in curiosity to your next words. “Nothing, because you don't have friends,” he huffed, pressing his lips together looking into your eyes. “And what, you only have two?” 

“Okay, that's enough. Both of you can leave for today,” said Ms. Ava, clapping to grab your attention. You simply dropped your tools and walked towards Percy, leaving the school, while Luke watched you leave, equally as mad. And even as you got home you still felt angry at

him, he was a jackass you couldn't stand thinking he was so smart reading other people like a book. 

Unknown 

Are you there?

You texted, finding yourself increasingly drawn to exchange messages with the mysterious number. Luke couldn't deny that he found himself eagerly waiting for a text from this unknown girl, a smile spreading across his face whenever the notification popped up on his phone. 

Unknown

I had the worst day ever

Unknown

Again?

Unknown 

All because of stupid

Selfish 

Smartass 

Unknown 

Let it all out 

Unknown 

He's just an asshole 

Luke chuckled at your little rant,  realizing that whoever was on the other end seemed to hold a strong dislike for this person. Yet, the way you described the feud brought back memories of the small, petty fights he used to have on the playground. 

Unknown 

Guess those aren't hard to come by 

There's this girl at my school, she's insufferable 

Unknown 

We should set them up

Unknown 

Best revenge ever 

You laughed at the text, imagining Luke and some random girl together, possibly experiencing a taste of his own medicine. However, you froze in your tracks as you saw the next text.

Unknown 

What's your name 

Unknown 

Why would I tell you my name?

Would you like my address and social security too?

What if you're a stalker?

Unknown 

If i were a stalker i would already know where you live?

Luke could only facepalm at his responde, really? Was that the best he could come up with? 

Unknown 

Am joking btw 

You stood there for a few seconds trying to think of the best solution to your dilemma as you texted back. 

Unknown 

Lets sets some rules

No personal information

No pictures, no voice messages 

Lets just be anonymous

get to know each other better 

Anonymous 

Okay let’s be anonymous

[itssidge]

2. PETA (Celebrating little success)

Part I. Who are you?

The future lawyer was born and he's age is 17 and have tall height 5'3 and cuter than you boyfriend he's name CeeJay Ladon I have two sides this is moody and some times crazy I have brown color that I get to my father and for my attitude I get it to my mother and also my nose but my beautiful eyes, I get it to my lovely father I was born on a sunny day in tanza Cavite but I live here in Cuyapo N. E. I'm only poor baby when my father died and because of that I grow to my aunt and I was lucky for her because she treet me like here real child and she giving all that I need were anly poor we don't have anything but because of my aunt we are eating three times a day she is strict when it comes too money because all things to her have a value she believes that time is gold every day every minutes every secons for her is important but let's go back in our topic, me I only want in my life is to have a better future my ambition in my life is to be a successful lawyer be cause if I become a successful lawyer I can help my family in their problems and also the people that need help if I achieve that, because that ambition is only a dream because we are only poor we don't have enough money to take that course so my possible course that I can take is education that is the course that we can afford but it's ok because teaching children is my hobbies so to achieve that ambition I need to work hard for the better future I need to work because I don't have anything I don't have mother and also father to guide me so I need to work for my self for answering the question that who am I, I'm Cee-Jay Ladon the future Teacher.

Part II. How are you?

Well for now the five footer is doing great and also doing some school works it's hard but it's exciting I wanna buy something but I don't have money so that, I'm always here in our house my routine every day is only wake up in a morning then eating breakfast and after that I'm going to the bed and using phone I'll do is scroll to same where and if I'm done scrolling to some appi will go next to that store I'll buy some snacks so that I can eat it on the evening and if I m done buying I'm going back in our house ang will eat because its lunch time and if I'm done eating lunch I doing back again to the bed and I

will do is to scroll again to some apps and sometimes I'm cleaning my room but mostly that I'm doing is to sleep that is the one of my hobby, that's why my nanay getting mad at me all the time and every evening I can't sleep I can't go to school at the same time because my sleeping time at night is 12am or some times 2am because of watching kdrama and reading some stories in Wattpad but my fav genre is BL but right now I'm doing some school work and I'd like to go to somewhere Walter mark or SM but my favorite place is computer shop to for get all that happened computer is like my comfort zone I enjoy playing especially when I'm with my friends I for get anything when I'm playing with my friends our favorite games is LOL here I can show my feelings ang emotion here I can do all, were eating some snacks and street foods while playing a games our favorite food is kalamares with matching spicy vinegar bu my most favorite food is sinigang na baboy for me this is delicious.

Part III. Tanga Poem

I break the high score on beat box game

And I eat a lot of street food because my friends treat me

I look to somewhere, so I can but a food

I see teenager riding at the peris wheel

And I ride to train, and when where done I don't want to try it again.