#i'm getting kind of obsessed with first person. but mostly when i write it bc i know my brain

[gen-is-gone]

hrgh every time I think I've come close to forgiving lance fucking parkin I skim the gallifrey chronicles. and then I remember the Horrors.

[non-un-topo]

I finally wrote something holy fuck but it's 3:30 in the morning and I have to force myself to go to sleep before the demons get me

[f2e5b1]

bitter orange — okkotsu yūta [1/3]

pairings. okkotsu yūta + f! reader/original character (main); past!orimito rika + f!reader; past!okkotsu yūta + orimito rika warnings/themes. mentions of death, jealousy, hints of obsession and possession. just a lil dark romance practice (which is barely any dark romance tbh who am i kidding) sprinkled with food motifs but i dont know what im doing im just here for the vibes :P mostly sfw with nsfw themes but nothing sexual bc im too scared to go down that dark path (also no use of y/n bc i started writing with an original name and it unfortunately stuck lawl... can be treated as either or it doesnt matter tbh i cant write anything outside of 2nd person anwyay) word count. 2.8k words nothing too crazy xd playlist. knuckle velvet by ethel cain; velvet ring by big thief; pure by cigarettes after sex; only in the dreams by the marias; be my mistake by the 1975; mary by alex g

it’s been a long time since i have seen my beloved. the moss has grown on that abetachibana tree

PART ONE: ichigo daifuku

Gojō Satoru tells you that love is the most twisted curse of them all.

He had said it in passing after your first solo mission, right as you were entering the car back to Jujutsu Tech before talking your ear off with his lame jokes. The mission had consisted of exorcizing a curse that had persistently haunted an abandoned apartment complex in Omotesandō, assigned to you by the higher-ups in accordance with your newly promoted rank as a Grade 2 sorcerer, having decided that a Grade 1 was doable enough for someone of your caliber. The curse itself wasn’t anything special, though, only repeating gargled confessions of its love to some ‘Chiyo-chan’—whoever she was—the whole time you were dodging its attacks, which was incredibly annoying. You liked your battles in silence, quick and succinct, but curses make that difficult to achieve.

Gojō muses it could have been a past lover, this Chiyo-chan—its love for her having cursed itself. You didn’t really care. If you keep up the good work, complete your required missions and get another recommendation, you could be ranked a Semi-Grade 1 by your second year, then a Grade 1 by your third and nothing else after that because unless you were someone like Gojō Satoru, then you are capped forever at Grade 1.

“So anyway—snacks you like?” said sorcerer asks, finally done with his previous tale. Something about an old coworker. “Mochi, senbei, or taiyaki? Personally, I'm a mochi ice cream type of guy!”

You look at him.

“Why are you here again?”

“... Is your memory that small, Ume? I was proctoring you,” he tuts, mouth turned downwards. “Congrats on the promotion, by the way.”

You shrug. “Ichigo daifuku is good, I guess.”

He smiles, wryly.

“You’re joking, right?”

+

The building facing your childhood home had been home to Orimito Rika, an unsuspecting property with a decent front yard and the occasional street cat or two often shooed away by her irate grandmother. “Mean granny,” you’d often call her, the insult drowned out by your hushed giggles as you played with your dolls. Rika wouldn’t say anything about it, wouldn’t dare verbally agree with you, but she would always nod her head down, the corners of her lips turned up too high.

You didn’t particularly hate the old woman, but there was a certain kind of satisfaction to saying it behind her back after all the times you’ve caught her looking at her granddaughter in unbridled scorn, your own little form of revenge. You could never understand how her only remaining family could look at her like that, not when Rika was so beautiful and kind; like the cherry blossoms during spring, falling gently along with the wind. Sure, she could be a little cunning at times, and none of the other kids at school liked her because “something’s odd about her, can’t you just hang out with us instead?”—but that’s what makes her interesting, right?

Rika isn’t weird, she’s pretty, and you’re the bee drawn to her. She’s only older than you by a year, ten instead of nine, but she always played with you, taught you how to make flower crowns at the park, and when you walked home from school she’d always hold your hand. Her smile is blindingly bright, the sound of her voice a song you couldn’t stop listening to. Selfishly, you wish it would always be the two of you together; playing with your dolls, walking home with your hands intertwined.

But when she came back from the hospital, so did Okkotsu Yūta.

You could never see what she saw in him; he was short and just a little bit pathetic, always trailing after her like a lost puppy at first. You could push him off the swing and he'd move on with a sniffle, the kind to give up the plastic shovel even though he desperately needed it to finish his sand castle because he didn’t want to fight a girl. He smiled shyly and hid his hands behind his back, looking at you like he was looking for your approval. Of course, you never gave him the time of day, because it felt like he had stolen Rika—your Rika. It was supposed to be just you and her, but that wasn’t the case anymore. Now there was Okkotsu Yūta, who held Rika’s other hand after school, who took away her attention from you so easily.

“He’s so cute, isn’t he?” she asks often, a light blush dusting her face.

“I guess,” is your reply.

“Ne,” she calls, presenting to you a small, black box. You look at it in apprehension, wincing when she eventually opens it. “What do you think of this ring? It was my mom’s. I’m gonna give this to Yūta-kun, do you think he’ll like it?”

The ring was immensely simple, a silver-colored band with a small diamond in front, glinting under the light. Nevermind the fact that it was too big for a child’s fingers to fit in, Rika presented it to you as if it held all the answers to the world. Although her parents were dead, and she had definitely stolen it from her grandmother’s dresser, the ring spoke full of promise. When she takes it out of the box and lets you inspect it, it feels heavy.

“... You really like him, don’t you, Rika-chan?” you ask, quietly.

Rika looks at the stupid piece of jewelry, painfully smitten.

“Mhm,” she affirms. “I really like Yūta-kun. I want to be with him forever! Of course, I like you too, Ume-chan. You and Yūta-kun are my favorite people in the world!”

You close the box, handing it back to her. When Rika looks at you expectantly, you realize then that you could never bring yourself to take that happiness away from her.

+

The koinobori flies.

“It’s so pretty!” Rika exclaims, eyes wide and staring up at the sky where the huge, windsock carp moves around. It’s bathed in all sorts of colors—from red to blue to white to green—dancing along the azure expanse in commemoration of Children’s Day. The weather is just right, not too hot nor too cold, and the wind caresses your skin gently, the sun not too harsh. It makes the color of Rika’s hair shine in all the right ways, adds more sparkle in her already bright eyes. She’s wearing a yellow sundress, a nice change from her usual blue one. The cream-colored hat you let her borrow covers her face with the shade, but her smile remains bright and blinding. She looks pretty.

She gives you all of her ichigo daifuku, and shares Yūta’s snacks. She doesn’t even like chimaki.

“Are you sure, Rika-chan?” you ask, looking at the two sweets in your hands.

She beams. “You like them, don’t you?”

You keep them with you until the end of the event.

The day passes by incredibly fast, your little trio having exhausted yourselves from running around the park alongside the other children. Yūta chases Rika around the park, and you watch them squeal and laugh at each other and hold hands. You watch them take a nap under the shade, their pinkies intertwined, and you watch as the ugly color of green blinds your eyesight. You leave them be.

Sometimes, you wish you’re the colorful koinobori flying in the sky. You’d let Rika hold on to you, let her fly and hear her amused laugh as the wind tickles her skin. Sometimes, you wish Yūta slapped the ring away from her hands when she handed it to him. Wish he stomped it on the ground and at the same time stomped on her heart. Wish he didn’t take it with a huge smile and agree that he’d marry her when they get older; he’s not the one who’d wait long lines just to get her the best ichigo daifuku, not the one who’d jump at the other kids when they so much as think of insulting her, and he won’t be the one who’d choose to stay with her when she’s all gray and old cause he’s a boy, and boys would never do that.

Sometimes, you wish he never liked her at all—because he never deserved her in the first place.

Okkotsu Yūta could never love Orimito Rika like you.

+

He sits beside you at lunch.

Rika’s been bedridden for the whole week, which subsequently ruins your week. Yūta doesn’t seem to mind her absence all that much since he doesn’t see her a lot during classes anyway, but they’re supposed to be engaged. He should always be thinking of her, should be acting as miserable as you even at the unripe age of nine. He looks too okay with her absence when he shouldn’t be.

“What’s this?” you ask, pointing at the small bag of snacks he had placed on the cover of your bento.

“Hm?” he looks up. “Oh, it’s norimaki senbei.”

“... And?” you prod.

He tilts his head. “You don’t want it?”

“... I don’t want it.”

He looks at you thoughtfully.

“But you like them, don’t you?” he asks though he’s acting like he already knows, like you’ll take it regardless of what you say. It’s annoying.

You look at the seaweed-wrapped rice crackers—the stupid norimaki senbei—in mild contempt. “Why are you giving it to me?”

Yūta’s smile is small, knowing. “Because you don’t like sweets.”

You frown.

+

She’s a sweet girl.

You think of Orimoto Rika like that because it’s true—she smiles sweetly, she speaks sweetly, and she likes sweet things. She tells you that her favorite snack is ichigo daifuku, the very same confection you always begged your parents to buy for you just so you could share them with her. It pays off all the time because then she’d look as sweet as the daifuku itself, her cheeks as red as the fruit within it. She also likes hanami dango, but she doesn’t like the green part because she doesn’t really like the subtle taste of yomogi, so you eat the rest for her because she doesn’t want to waste it. She likes cold tea instead of hot, sweet instead of savory, like yuzu iced tea or bubbly ramune in comparison to the nutty taste of hōjicha. When you go to the store, she always gets the kompeitō with some random anime character on the packaging because those were the “cutest kind of kompeitō,” and Rika likes cute things.

She also likes the color pink, but when you ask her what her favorite color is she’d say it’s blue. It’s blue not because she wears that blue dress all the time, but blue because it’s the color of Okkotsu Yūta’s eyes, bright and round and always looking at her. Rika likes it that way—she likes how Okkotsu Yūta is always looking at her with his blue eyes, unwavering and full of adoration for her and her only.

You think Orimito Rika is a sweet girl, but sometimes she’s more than that. Sometimes, when the other kids get brave enough to drag you away from her, tell you to stop hanging out with her, they say it’s because Rika doesn’t like anyone else but Okkotsu Yūta.

Sometimes, when they tell you that, you wonder if Rika liked you at all, way before Okkotsu Yūta came into the picture.

But most of the time, you don’t really care. Even if Rika didn’t like you, you’d still like her. Even if she’d only have her eyes set on Okkotsu Yūta with his stupid blue eyes and his stupid norimaki senbei and stupid chimaki that he shared with her on the fifth of May, you’d still like her because she’s Rika—beautiful, kind, and wonderful Rika.

She has things she doesn’t like, too, such as other people but never Yūta-kun or Ume-chan! She likes it when people compliment her and praise her looks and give her free stuff like ramune or ichigo daifuku or Sailor Moon-themed kompeitō from the store, but sometimes she tells you that she dislikes this certain group of girls from Yūta’s class, dislikes the boy assigned as your seatmate, her homeroom teacher, the “weird” guy who works at the konbini a street over, and dislikes it even more when her grandmother looks at her and tells her she killed her own father without even saying anything at all.

You know all those things because you know Orimito Rika. You like her even if she holds intense dislike for the people outside her circle, people who tick her off just a little for you to see her smile crack at the edges and go stiff, the little twitch of her brown eyes, and most importantly, you still like her when all she wants in the world is the attention of the boy who wears her deceased mother’s ring.

You’ll always want sweet girls like her.

+

“Where’s Rika-chan?”

“Her grandma won’t let her go out today,” Yūta says, sitting next to you on the bench. “So it’s just you and me.”

He says it dejectedly, but it’s not enough for you. If he was really sad, then he’d be as sad as you are, so you start packing your belongings. “I’m leaving, then.”

He startles, standing up. “Huh? W–wait! Don’t leave just yet!”

“But Rika-chan’s not here,” you frown. “There’s no point in hanging out today.”

He falters, looking down at the ground.

“Even if she isn’t here, we can still play together…” he offers, looking up at you timidly. “We’re friends, too, aren’t we?”

The green-eyed monster stares at the silver chain wrapped around his neck, the ring acting as its pendant tucked underneath his shirt—like an unattainable treasure trapped inside a chest with the key thrown away somewhere you cannot find it. We’re not friends, the monster says with a snarl, stay away from me.

If there is one thing you know, then it’s that you have never wanted to be friends with Okkotsu Yūta, not after he took everything from you. He can butter you up by sticking to you during class and sitting next to you at lunch and even offering you some of his not-ichigo daifuku, not-yuzu iced tea, and not-colorful anime-themed kompeitō but you will and have never liked him for the green-eyed monster will always sit on your shoulder so long as he wears that ring on his person, a physical manifestation of his promise with Rika. Your Rika, even if that’s not really the case.

You will never like Okkotsu Yūta, because—because he—

“... What’re we even gonna do?” you ask, slowly.

He immediately brightens up.

“… Wanna get ice cream?” he offers. “There’s a new flavor I wanna try!”

His suggestion does not entice you at all, but when he stands there with an outstretched hand waiting for you to take it, like it’ll matter if you reject him, you find yourself at a crossroads. But you make your decision soon enough. Like it’ll matter, like the green-eyed monster isn’t there, staring.

“Okay,” you say, moving past him to start walking. He blinks incredulously at the blatant rejection before gathering himself and following after you, a prep to his step regardless of your actions.

You try to ignore the warmth of his body next to yours.

He’s too close.

+

“Yūta-kun’s birthday is in a few days,” Rika announces, lying on your spare futon. “Did you get him anything?”

You didn’t. “... Yeah.”

“Really? What is it?” she cranes her neck to face you. “What’d you get him?”

She doesn’t want your gift being better than hers, it checks out. “Um… just a toy. A garbage truck.”

“Oh, okay,” she turns back to face the ceiling. “I made him a scrapbook with photos of us. I worked really hard on it… do you think he’ll like it?”

“He’ll like anything you give him.”

She’s already given him a ring—what else could compare to that?

Rika smiles. “I guess… you’re right.”

Soon enough, she goes to sleep, breathing softly beside you as your fan fills the silence of the night. You continue staring at the ceiling, making out the little dents despite the lack of light. You squeeze the hand that holds your under the cover, before closing your eyes.

You hear her softly breathe on a steady beat alongside the fan whirring in the corner, and you close your eyes, squeezing her hand tighter underneath the covers of your too-close futon.

You’ll have to ask your parents for some money tomorrow.

+

“Rika-chan isn’t here again,” Yūta says dejectedly. “Her granny’s too strict.”

“She hates her,” you say quietly.

Yūta looks at you, confused. “What’d you say?”

“Nothing. Your birthday’s coming up soon, what are you doing that day?”

“Uwah—you remember?”

“Rika-chan told me.”

“Oh, well,” he smiles sheepishly, “we have school that day, but after that I’ll be celebrating at my house. I’m thinking of just inviting Rika-chan and you over… um, so, will you come?”

“I’ll go if Rika-chan is going.”

He blinks, before a smile blooms on his face. “Okay! I’ll see you, then.”

+

It happens when you aren't there.

It never should have happened at all.

Orimito Rika is pronounced dead at the age of eleven, her body unrecognizable under the heavy weight of a blue truck.

next

[bunnakit]

my stand in ep 2 thoughts, feelings, etc.

alright i wanted to write this up nicely but it took me... two hours to get through the episode bc i kept stopping to write notes, so i'll do my best i guess.

weird thing about me is when i watch shows and write notes for these posts i always write the notes on napkins? i have like 5 different notebooks in arms reach at all times but i really like scribbling on a napkin for the true unhinged effect.

anyway blah blah reminder i'm just a silly dude on the internet, idk shit about dick, i just like to say shit, don't take me too seriously.

also please DO NOT leave novel spoilers in my reblogs, tags, or replies without some kind of warning label. please? it seems to happen with every show i write meta for and i LOVE that people get hyped but there's no way for me to avoid it when it's in my notifications like that.

some before the actual episode stuff; after learning last week that some of the kinnporsche people worked on this it really becomes apparent, especially in the style of the intro.

the music choices also seem a bit reminiscent of kinnporsche (and a little bit of not me) which i really enjoy. it feels kind of familiar and comforting.

immediately i loved how soft this episode started, the slight stubble on each of them, the way joe speaks so softly as if afraid to shatter their little bubble of peace, etc. i also love that the show doesn't skirt around the topic of sex and the fact that sometimes sex is awkward and clumsy, especially with a new partner and doubly so when it's your first queer partner.

and then the peace was shattered with ming kissing his back yet again. ouchies.

"will tong be at the set?" he's just not even trying to hide it. he basically said 'yeah ur great and all but tong????' but DAMN if poom isn't the absolute king of microexpressions.

at this point i can't really tell if tong is being a spoiled prince (derogatory) or if he's tired of acting in general? judgement withheld until a later date.

and then we jump into this actress being a parallel to ming and OOF OUCHIES MY ORGANS. she's a fan of tong but has to "settle" for joe - just like ming. and yet joe takes the time to be kind, to soothe her worries and put her at ease, because he has a heart of absolute gold. "it's her first movie but she was left to drown by the male lead." it's ming's first love and he has been left to drown in it.

mek's acting is really endearing. this is my first exposure to him (ive seen some of his social media and really like what he stands for as a person) and i'm instantly drawn to his performance. he also pulls off a great balance of adorable/sexy.

OOH THE SHOW SAID BISEXUAL OUT LOUD. A WIN FOR THE BI'S WE LOVE TO SEE IT.

i personally find ming's jealously hilarious. what a little caricature of toxicity.

anyway, it seems to me that if ming could get over his feelings and enjoy what he has in front of him he could be part of and enjoy a very sweet family, as it does seem tong IS giving him love, just not the exact flavor he craves.

the cut to joe's training made me laugh. little oat lore dump but my bio dad was actually a stunt man for movies (which is another part of why i was so excited for this show) and i can promise you nothing like this was part of it. what do i know, though, maybe things have changed since the early 2000s lol.

(no, they're probably not any movies you know, aside from maybe wild wild west [1999]. he mostly did westerns, historical docudramas, and historical fiction.)

ANYWAY AGAIN. with this little glimpse into ming's home life we get to see that he's very accustomed to doing what he wants and getting what he wants, which makes a lot of sense when applied to his almost obsessive behavior regarding tong - and now joe. i did absolutely LOVE linin and her sassy independence (minus the 'i can buy anything i need'.)

but... girl... did you just spray perfume in your mouth?

your actions are strange and unsettling. i like that in a woman.

ugh getting into ming venting his frustrations on joe's body. listen. liiiisten. while toxic without prior discussion... i'm into it. it may or may not be one of my favorite tropes in fanfic. toxic and unhealthy as fuck and i'm here for it.

AND THEN DAMN POOM THOSE NOISES. ACTING FOR YOUR LIFE BBY -- and the SNEEZE AT ORGASM LMAAAO oh i hope that's a running bit for some comedic relief.

because we then make a SHARP pivot into "then stop me" and there's so much potential for pain and self loathing there, for joe to think "i can't blame ming, i didn't stop any of it." i'm sat.

a little side bar, but i'm enjoying the fact that while there is discussion of topping and bottoming as a narrative device there really aren't any stereotypes here. i think on a surface level people would think "oh joe is the top" (pit babe style) and the show said no actually he isn't. love that for us.

"you can even move in haha jk" but the thing is, not jk, because joe would do that for ming - for anyone - bc that's the type of person he is.

[i had to stop and have a lil snack here]

hold up is this wut out drinking with them? OH SHIT IT IS. OKAY. it didn't give us much but at least it's a little connection to him finally. we knew joe knew him from his first life, just didn't really know how.

"i missed you" and when was the last time someone missed joe? not who he's replacing or the space he's filling, but HIM?

love ming's goofy ass locking the door and going inside just so he can make a dramatic ass appearance like he's 'the other woman' or some shit LMAO.

"what's in you to make me jealous?" quite possibly the worst dialogue tree choice ming could've picked.

[joe's emotional well being -45]

[everyone hated that]

"don't be so full of yourself" something joe has never been a day in his life. "you're just a stand-in." he knows. it's not something he ever forgets.

but after all that toxicity we have ming back home, seeking out joe's food for comfort, and we finally get to see him interact with his sister. i LOVE that she knows the importance of being a little silly as a treat, one of my biggest life mottos. we also get to see more of how ming is surrounded by love that he misses out on bc of his own wallowing and self sabotage.

oh, the homoeroticism of sparring with your bestie.

[everyone liked that]

oop- joe is wearing the shirt ming borrowed while sol is wearing a shirt with the word 'fantasy.' i'm good, i'm fine, gwenchana, gwenchana.

ough. sol with too many eyes on him and none of them sincere and joe with nothing but sincerity to offer but remains invisible. oof ouch.

enter ming with more religious imagery to match last week's cross scene. something something the sin of greed? confessing your sins? coveting - idk man, i don't have any religious trauma, my family let me just do my own thing.

but with ming knowing joe's true feeling every toxic thing he does is going to be 1000x more painful and i'm here for it. bring it you fucked up little guy.

"we can't mess with each other's privacy" don't mess with MY privacy. "you can't mess around with anyone else" emphasis on YOU, not we.

and then it's driven home what a romantic joe is, both with his workout heartbreak poetry and this little lady and the tramp noodle moment. this man, again much like pit babe, wants to be domesticated so bad.

and i know we all have hated on ming, that's the point, he's been a caricature of a toxic relationship spelled out in neon letters --

but when was the last time ming laughed with someone like this?

ok im exhausted, i'm falling into bed to read fanfic, but i'm absolutely in love with everything this is doing so far. i haven't written anything as in depth as this since last twilight (pre-betrayal) so it's really nice to feel insane again.

[pinkpastels113]

intro post

okay so i realized that i've never done one of these and i kinda want to!! esp for the new people following me and my side account @caitlynspistol, which i plan on keeping even if my fandoms and otp brain rots change

name: wenz (pronounced as when-zzz, or if you're anne, whence is fine too LMAO). it's not my real name but that's what i'm comfortable with on here!

pronouns: she/her.

nicknames: i respond to girl, girlie, dude, or any cute pet names hehe

age: 22

personality type: enfj (protagonist mbti personality). i also relate to harley quinn, lexie grey, annabeth chase, red of hearts, and chloe beale (besides the barging into other people's shower part). more of a golden retriever than a black cat, esp at work and around people i like and can be myself with, but can be a standoffish opinionated moody lil binch if im pissed or annoyed lmao

lgbtq?: yes. i think im labeling myself as bi but leaning towards wlw

country: usa (even tho i be so tired of it sometimes 💀)

comfort fandom: pitch perfect and bechloe! it's the fandom that i originally joined tumblr and got an ao3 account for, and the pairing that i feel the most comfortable and natural writing for

type of content creator: i'm more of a writer than an artist but i'm trying to explore more of my artsy side. i've loved drawing since i was 5. it's just difficult sometimes to motivate myself and practice my art when everyone else is so much better HAHA

i prefer to write drabbles and one-shots more than multi-chapter fics bc my attention span and motivation just. won't let me. but if enough people encourage me and ask for them-!! i also like to write aus? and fluff? and meet-cutes i think :)

current obsession/brain rots: glassheart from descendants the rise of red but im scared that caitvi will take over this spot when the new arcane season releases lmao

others: wenclair from wednesday, chaggie from hazbin hotel, harlivy from dc but mostly the tv show, damie from the haunting of bly manor, percabeth from percy jackson

guilty pleasures: nikkenzie (dork diaries), miraculous ladybug (ADFSJHDSLK MY SISTER GOT ME INTO THIS DON'T COME FOR ME-), sunset shimmer x twilight sparkle

comfort/fav shows: grey's anatomy and friends

comfort/fav movies: tangled, mulan, mean girls, just chick flicks in general ig, the pp franchise

music: i'm a swiftie so pop :) not the ones that are too techno but like soft? but also catchy. i also like throwback 2010s music bc those SLAP

hobbies besides being a part of the fandom: i like to play card games, read/discover contemporary romance books, paint, text or hang out with my friends, do puzzles, be a couch potato, play wild rift (league of legends on mobile), watch asmr videos on tiktok, and just explore the city ig

special tags?: "wenz can talk" for my posts that i just yap in, "w writes" for my writing, "w sketches" for my art

anything else to share: i love getting asks! like from ask meme games or just getting to know you questions, nothing too personal tho! i also welcome any kind of interaction that gets me to talk about my fandoms/brain rots/ships. pls don't be shy lmao: you can interact through tags in a reblog or through an anon ask if you don't know how ima react. worse case scenario i just won't reply? but i'm not gonna judge or bash on you or anything unless you come for me first 😭

[milfygerard]

Do you think Gerard's comics are good? I haven't read all of them. I felt like the story doesn't really wrap up well and make sense good in the Killjoy comics or Umbrella Academy but maybe comics are just like that. Maybe they were imitating other writers I don't know about and I'm missing context. What are your thoughts

anon i am so deeply biased towards gerards comics but YES i do think theyre good! I think lots of the critiques are fair but i also think it leads to the fandom kind of underrating him as a comic author at times and dismissing the work out of hand. I especially see this for umbrella academy and to answer your other question yes i do think some of it is a matter of missing context! TUA was never...really made to be a popular and commercial comic? The satire and style are very inside baseball, mostly about x men, as well as later leaning more into a silver age style of both writing and illustration (which is why im soooo obsessed w hotel oblivion guys its so goood its so good i swear)

When it comes to other comic runs, I'd say killjoys comics tend to be the messiest but they are also deeply meaningful to me wnd natuonal anthem is so fucking gorgeous and interesting (controversial but im a natam ending defender even if i think the comic itself couldve used another issue or 2 to push the character writing more). I think gerard has one of the better doom patrol runs, Including milk wars i'd put it up there at maybe 3rd or 4th depending on how much i let personal bias into the equation. However doom patrol is also very Like That just as like a superhero group and can be kind of impenetrable if you arent down for genuinely bizarre and sometimes seemingly nonsensical writing, its kind of apart of the teams DNA as the "worlds strangest heroes". Milk wars is soso good and maybe one of my favorite Comic Things gerard has made/been involved with but its also best with looots of comic context bc its playing w both doom patrol history and the context of where DC as a company was during the time of its release. Its still relevant in many ways but probably feels impenetrable if you arent already into comics at least a bit.

Gerards style def isnt for everyone (and they do sometimes get bored and cheese the ending a bit though i defs tend to like them more than other ppl do) but i do think theyre extremely good at what rhey do and im soooo excited for paranoid gardens especially bc 1. gerard has always taken an extremely empathetic and nuanced and honest approach to writing about mental health and mental illnesses bith real and semi fictionalized and 2. the artist on board is an industry mainstay and has made some fucking incredible work! I didnt love the first issue cover dropped and was worried i wouldnt click w the artstyle but after properly checking out chris westons style im really excited!!!! gerard time

[khaire-traveler]

Tbh I mostly sent that ask bc I'm listening to someone review an ARC of Crown of Starlight which is supposed to be a retelling of how Ariadne and Dionysus met, but sci-fi and its just so many things pissing me off.

Like the Moirai are a cult????? Who are obsessed with like, purity culture????? Like the Christian kind???

And the author boasts that she's writing the first ever androgynous Dionysus when DIONYSUS HIMSELF IS ANDROGYNOUS AND ALWAYS HAS BEEN!! HE HAS AN EPITHET LITERALLY FOR HOW ANDROGYNOUS HE IS!!! HIS MYTHS FUCK WITH GENDER A LOT!! YOU DIDN'T INVENT SHIT!!!!

Ariadne is just a "I'm not like other girls" trope in such a stereotypical way and I HATTTTTEEE it. Like you can gave a girl not fit in and have it be interesting and not simultaneously shit on other women its not that hard. Like in Circe she showed interest in what Daedalus was doing and was curious about his inventions, and it made her more of her own character and also set her apart from the other women in her family. Not saying its the most perfect example but it's better than making her a fucking Pick Me girl who's pretending to not be a Pick Me.

Sorry just omg I could go on, I'm so glad this book will never be published.

Long rant incoming lol. Be warned.

Listen, I've come to accept that retellings will never be perfect to my standards because I'm a worshipper, and most of these authors are not. I've come to understand that it's ok for pieces to just stand on their own and exist without me interacting with them; I'm not being forced to engage with something I don't actually like. But this? What the hell even is this? There's a difference between creating your own retelling for the sake of artistic liberty with a story that means a lot to you and claiming to have created something that the thousands of years old culture you're basing your story on ALREADY created. See, there is a RIGHT and WRONG way to do retellings. The right way is more of a loose definition at times, but the wrong way sticks out like a sore thumb because it's typically extremely obvious.

This person has an interesting concept that fell right into their lap, then completely disregarded the original culture the story stemmed from. I don't want to ever discourage someone from writing again or trying to create an interesting story, since I understand how personal writing can be, but this is fucking ridiculous, and there is no excuse for being so blatantly incorrect about the source you're pulling your information directly from. "I'm the first writer to make Dionysus androgynous!" Read a book about Dionysus that isn't a retelling, and get back to me on that, jackass, because he's actually always been that way, and it's shitty of you to spread misinformation for the sake of boasting about your book.

People representing the gods negatively is no surprise to me, especially the Moirai - many authors seem to have a complex relationship with fate itself, in that way - but I really feel like they're being limited in a cult. It sounds so humanizingly plain, and I wouldn't enjoy that artistic liberty, personally, since to me, fate is inherently inhuman; I think it exists outside the bounds of human comprehension. It feels kind of boring and unnecessary to make them into a cult. There's so many other things you could do with them: make them into indifferent Eldritch horror space beings, depict them as strange yet slightly sinister sisters who live in the middle of nowhere and seem to have something just a little unsettling about them, or, hell, even depict them as animals who show up throughout the book as motifs of fate. Like, come on, a cult? I don't know; I guess it's just not for me. And making Ariadne a Pick Me? Ariadne? Really? There's so many things wrong with that interpretation of her, especially the fact that in the original myth, she was abandoned by Theseus on an island, essentially left to die, and was found by Dionysus who fell in love with her. It's not as if she was going out of her way to get picked up by him or something; she just happened to be there when he ran into her, from my understanding. She has gone through this incredibly traumatic experience and still persevered, and all this author can think of is "Lol she's such a Pick Me." Like???? Why???? Why do you think this???? You befuddle me. I am bemused. This reminds me of how people make Patroclus into a cute little UwU man who can't live without Achilles and can't really do much to defend himself, even though, in The Iliad, it took two soldiers and a GOD to finally kill him because he was so fierce in battle. I feel like a chihuahua barking at a wall about this, though, so I'll move on.

I'm not sure what book this is, but as a worshipper, and even just a fan of history, it's so frustrating to hear about. Like, if someone wrote a genuinely interesting book about this with the sci-fi elements, I'd find it extremely interesting, even if the gods weren't always depicted in the best light. Even ancient myths didn't always depict them in the best light, and that's ok, actually. Is it extremely annoying and upsetting when people lean too hard into it? Yes, absolutely. Is it an automatic reason to despise a piece of media? I'd say no because then you're going to miss out on a lot of really cool things that are out there. But there is still a wrong way to go about these representations, and this is one of the biggest ones: blatant misinformation for selfish gain. Another would be demonizing a god without giving them any redeemable qualities, since oftentimes, in myth, they are still rather complex, despite the wild things they do or that happen. It sounds to me like they've done this with the Moirai somewhat, though I don't fully know that.

These are just my thoughts on the matter, but yeah, this is wild. Thank you for taking me on this hectic ride lol. I'm always more than happy to hear about new weird things I've never heard of before, so feel free to share other things if you ever stumbled upon them. Also, I would love to know the name of this book if you remember it. I'm so glad I've never heard of this before, tbh. Take care, Nonny. 🧡

[wikiangela]

oooh buddie death cast, bucktommy smut and barbecue?

buddie death cast answered here and here

bucktommy smut is the sequel to this fic where buck really wanted it to be smut but, clearly, it takes me forever to write one lol - it was started post-7x04, with only the promo of 7x05, so I'm sticking with that (yes, it's been a while lol) it's also getting long, I'm at 4k and they're just starting to take off clothes lol

a lil snippet:

“So I take it that it’s okay?” Tommy asks, and Buck’s so dizzy and breathless he barely registers it. “Huh?” he blinks as Tommy pulls away to look at him, a little amused but also almost… wonderstruck, analyzing, as if cataloging yet another piece of information he learns about Buck. Buck knows, because he does the same thing with every little thing he finds out about Tommy. He wants to know everything, and he can’t wait to keep learning. “Me calling you baby? That’s okay?” He’s smiling, and of course he has to know, based on Buck’s reaction, but he’s still making sure, and Buck thinks he’s going to melt into a puddle all over the backseat of the car right now. Tommy’s just so sweet and gentle, and thoughtful, and he always makes sure Buck’s good and comfortable, while also remaining confident and taking charge, and it- it makes Buck’s insides flutter. What a fucking man he somehow got. He doesn’t want to ever let him go. It’s only their second date, and he knows he’s getting ahead of himself in true Buck fashion, but he just- this one feels different. He really hopes it leads somewhere. “Tommy.” Buck rolls his eyes, and his face splits into a grin. “Of course it is. It’s much, much more than okay.” he gulps, eyes falling to Tommy’s lips again.  “Okay.” his lips curl into that smile – that easy, happy, excited smile that Buck’s loved since the moment he saw it for the first time, the one gracing Tommy’s face after he kissed Buck for the first time and asked if that was okay. “I figured. Just wanted to make sure.” he whispers, leaning in again, breath ghosting over Buck’s lips.  “That’s so hot, you know?” Buck breathes out, and kisses a chuckle off of Tommy’s lips.

and the barbecue one! I got lowkey stuck at the very beginning but I'm working on it lol - it was inspired by that one video of lou barbecuing shirtless bc 🥵

basically, buck and tommy hosting a barbecue at tommy's place, with the firefam and some of tommy's friends from harbor (and I'm obsessed with the idea of tommy being the person children just adore for no reason so tommy and kids feels!)

it's a little disjointed for now bc I started with madney, but then I started rewriting it bc I didn't like how i started it, but here's part of the first version with madney, it's gonna be better after rewriting lol (I have more notes than actual fic so far)

(this one was started before madney wedding, but i might change that a bit too lol)

“Where’s Tommy?” Jee immediately asks, and Buck can’t help a soft chuckle. Ever since Chim and Maddie’s wedding, Jee’s been obsessed with Tommy. He’s just the kind of person everyone’s drawn to, especially children. He can be such a goofball and he loves entertaining them. Buck thinks he’s going to be such a good dad one day, and that thought fills him with such fondness and excitement. “Should be in the backyard. Through there.” he points, directing all three of them, Jee just takes off running in the direction Buck pointed, Chim hurrying after her. “I’ll be right there.” he adds, mostly to Maddie, as he stays behind when he hears another car park in front of the house.

ask me about my wips <3

[ritsukaaoyagi]

Hello! I am an adult (later 20s) who never read loveless. Do you think it is worth reading loveless from scratch? Or is it one of those artworks that is more enjoyable when you consume it at the right time/place/age.

I hope my question makes sense! I think some manga/movies etc are more enjoyable when you read at a younger age when it came out and then revisit with nostalgia. Versus reading years after its popularity/ intended age to consume

YAAAY ok sorry this might be so much bc I'm not even really sure how to put this all bc I'm insane about loveless... and my answer to this question sometimes depends on how pessimistic I'm feeling about loveless at any given time. I used to think that the "nostalgia factor" of loveless (or just being really obsessed with it as a kid) is what primarily contributed to my enjoyment of loveless, but I also really intensely hated loveless as a teenager and struggled to really enjoy it again until sometime last year, and I think this is mostly because I did re-read it at the "right time" in my twenties with a significantly different perspective on Life, and on the heavy aspects of life that loveless surrounds. so I do think it's worth reading loveless for the first time Especially if you're an adult... you would probably get a lot more out of it is what I'm saying, but then this also depends on the other kinds of manga/stories u like. but of course u probably already know what that would entail.

BASICALLY YES GIVE IT A SHOT!!!!!! I think it's so worth it but it's also really easy to be put off by it. I think the more structurally messy and I guess unpalatable parts of loveless are probably easier to deal with if you've been a fan for a long time, but then even this I think is really just dependent on the person...

sorry if this was not a really good answer or kind of confusing... I have thoughts on this but I didn't want to write too too much OHAOHRGWIHAJOH

[wizerdbattle]

Wizerd, may I ask what you like about Miphlink?

I've been reading your fics and they're all really good, enjoyed each one without a doubt!

Okay so: CONFESSION.

I haven't been a Miphlink shipper for nearly as long as it feels like (to me) mostly because I just didn't ship BOTW Link with anyone for a long time. (I kind of saw him as aro (the projectorrr) but I won't go into that now bc I'll inevitably get sidetracked.) Just personality-wise, at least, I couldn't really get behind many ships with Link in them because it felt like half the point was that he was supposed to regain his since of self on his own. I also COMPLETELY ignored Mipha on my first playthrough. I'm pretty ashamed to say this seeing as she's one of my favourite ever characters but she was just so unnassuming in all the cutscenes I sort of missed her in comparison to all the other Champions, who have a much more obvious presence.

I only really started to understand Mipha when I started to write for her (thanks to Zora May if I recall correctly) and realised that there are a lot of things that are just so fun about her. Obviously there's the angst factor etc etc but what stuck out most is that she's just such a whole character if you know what I mean. She definitely understands her duty to her kingdom and her role in the Calamity, and doesn't take it lightly, but she's still full of so much joy and compassion and thoughtfulness.

I guess I started to ship miphlink because at some point I felt like it fit really well with both their characters. The very boring answer to why I enjoy the relationship is I think their characters compliment each other. There's the obvious symbolic stuff, like Link being a knight and Mipha being a healer, Link being rougher and Mipha being softer, but I think the main untapped canon part is that they would make a really good team.

I'm mostly just writing at the moment to further undersatnd the both of them so I'm not fully there yet, but at the moment I like writing the sweeter moments and little conversations. And the pining etc 😉 I hope to write some sort of battle sequence or adventure thing where they work together but I'm not exactly sure how I would write it yet.

In other people's work I really just like to see how they interperet the relationship! There's a lot of stuff I can miss so it's nice to have thoughts bestowed on me by someone else. Some takes I don't like but so far the miphlink community has done nothing but fuel my obsession.

[eomma-jpeg]

In The Meadow - Music Analysis

i said i was gonna post bc i love music analysis and i love my beloved characters, so if you too have an obsession, then this is for you.

The Playlist

I think I may just go down the line

The Meadow - Nickel Creek

This song was one that i just happened to be listening to when I started writing ‘in the meadow’ but i liked it and the kind of… building and dynamic of the relationship in the song that I decided to use the song as inspiration and where i get all the chapter titles lol

Ultimately the relationship in the song doesn’t go anywhere, but the narrator still hears that person they decided to fall in love with, and they use the echo of a voice in the meadow as their reminder and it just,,,, i liked it so much and i still listen to it multiple times a day lol

You and Me - Lifehouse

So this song is specifically on here because of this comic by faestorian

It just…. Yeah, there’s not much to say except its from Knives perspective… and I love him and how easily distracted he is by her.

Not Strong Enough - boygenius

This song,,, just has Knives written all over it. Specifically these lines

I don't know why I am

The way I am

Not strong enough to be your man

I tried, I can't

Stop staring at the ceiling fan and

Spinning out about things that haven't happened

Breathing in and out

I just think it shows Knives’ overthinking and eventual kind of decision that he thinks he’s not enough for her or could never be worthy of the kind of benevolence she gives him, and so he’s trapped in his own mind about stuff

The line ‘i don’t know why i am the way I am’ is repeated throughout the song and… i just felt like knives is always asking himself why he is this way even though he knows but at the same time he doesn’t know why he and vash reacted so differently to the same trauma and its just so frustrating for him.

Also the line ‘Always an angel, never a God’.... thats a good line, especially in the knives context

Liar - Paramore

So liar was on here initially as a millyons song, but has since undergone a vashmeryl transformation, so the song applies to the both of them

Its just a song about how you tried to hide things about yourself from the person you love to keep them safe, but ultimately you realize that the person who you wanted to keep safe was the one doing the protecting, and you don’t know why you ever needed to lie to them

I love this in a millyons context bc i think Knives at first tried to hide himself from Milly, and then ultimately realized ‘why am i doing that? She’s only trying to help me’ 

It takes a lot for the boy to accept help

In a vashmeryl context, its the both of them… but mostly vash

They just cant figure out why they tried to hide from one another, when its obvious they care so deeply

This second verse is so good for vashmeryl

I got too good at fighting chemicals

And dodging arrows I was asking for

Wading through the fog and then it disappeared

Naked when I'm here

And why should I deny what's all

At once, so crystal clear

And i just really like paramore a lot

The Bomb - Florence + the Machine

This song,,,, geez

I initially liked this song for knives and milly, but it works so much better as a song from meryl’s perspective about vash. 

It just is told from the pov of a person who has fallen for someone who never does any good for themselves, always getting hurt or hurting others in the process. The line 'unavailability is the only thing that turns you on’ is so raw and very good for meryl as a person who just thinks that vash lives in this constant of ‘i want so many things i can never have’ and thinks he can never have them

And yet meryl is always there to try and give him anything

And then the second half of the song it switches, the narrator is now explaining that that is what they have fallen for, the destruction and unavailability and the chaos

They just love to convince themselves that they love each other for the worst reasons.

Savior Complex - Phoebe Bridgers

So savior complex was added to accompany the idea that Milly herself has one, and this song is just one of my all time favorites and I needed it to be included

The relationship in the song is kind of implied to go poorly (as most one sided savior complex relationships do) but i love the lyrics to the build up

Crocodile tears, run the tap 'til it's clear

Drift off on the floor

I drag you to the shore

Sweating through the sheets

You're gonna drown in your sleep, for sure

I think,,, these lyrics relate quite well to how milly felt in the beginning of ‘in the meadow’, just desperate to help and seeing his own desperation for something different, a change, and Milly decides she going to do whatever it takes to help him through it

Crave - Paramore

I just love paramore. I’d put their entire new album on this playlist if i could

This song is uhhh from Knives’ perspective and his just desire to remember everything about Milly. Every moment of every day is just, he craves it. He wants to be near her even if he doesn’t quite understand why.

The song also delves into like, unhealthy practices and how you still crave those terrible times because of the familiarity,,,,,, and if that isn’t knives i don’t know what is

‘I romanticize even the worst of times’

(You) On My Arm - Leith Ross

This song is just a silly “I would do anything for you��� song from Knives’ perspective.

It just talks about the most mundane things and being in love and im just a sap for knives becoming a sap for milly.

Apple Pie - Lizzy McAlpine

This song AHHHH for vashmeryl !!!!!! THE ONE SHOT T-T

It just is about a person who is your home away from home and how no place could be complete without this person and despite moving around and finding new adventures and new beginnings, you wouldn’t be able to do it without that one person

I think that vash is like that about meryl

The story is told from the perspective of a person who is constantly moving and changing, but they need that one consistent of the person they love, and vash is very much that way for me about meryl; he needs to return to her, or at least keep her nearby

Some day we can be in the same city

Some day we'll be grown and I'll be fine with packing up

Cardboard boxes filled and sad farewells

And I'll be fine we'll pack a bag

As long as I don't say goodbye to you as well

I think, eventually vash realizes that home is not a place, because he’s never really had a home except for the seeds ship, and meryl becomes that comfort for him

It’s Alright - Mother Mother

This song… is a doozy

So the main voice of the song is someone overcome with guilt, just unable to kind of forgive themselves for whatever mistakes they’ve made, which I really liked for knives, but the most important part is the second chorus !!!!!

The first chorus is from a first person perspective of the song’s author, but the second chorus is from an outside perspective !!! And I like to think of it as milly comforting knives during moments when he doubts he can be a good person

It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay

You're not a monster, just a human

And you made a few mistakes

It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay

You're not gruesome, just human

And you made a few mistakes

Please just,,, listen to the song and tell me the verses don’t just SCREAM knives

Eraser - Ricky Montgomery

So this song i haven’t had a lot of time to dissect this one, but i think its just kind of a perspective of milly trying to comfort knives despite his flaws and feelings of guilt. The first verse is just the narrator figuring out whats going on, and then it moves into the chorus which provides kind of a solution, stating that the “eraser” doesn’t have to ruin their life over something so small.

I just like the comforting aspect. The voice of the song is convincing their target that everything is okay, and even when its not they can work it out together, avoid anyone else and just breathe

Hate to See Your Heart Break - Paramore 

Soooo this song is just chapter 23,,,,, and the both of them (mostly milly) just aching inside because she can see his heart breaking over and over again and it kills her inside, so milly just provides solace and comfort in the fact that thats what being a human is. Sometimes it hurts so much, but she’s there to remind him that there is light and she wants to be that light T-T

For all the air that's in your lungs

For all the joy that is to come

For all the things that you're alive to feel

Just let the pain remind you hearts can heal

My heart hurts anytime i listen to this song cuz i can just see like,,, milly comforting knives in any given scenario, desperate to convince him of the good and hating the pain in his expression

A New Kind of Love - Frou Frou

I really like this song for Vashmeryl because its kind of a dance of the mundane, as well as finding the love within

Because the first verse of the song kind of dabbles in the way the love becomes a branded thing, just something you buy or is fleeting, but the voice of the song and whoever they are addressing find a love despite this new kind of love

I just like vash and meryl finding each other in that classic kind of love, and just eventually realize theyve both fallen hard for one another

I also like the verse that talks about how busy each person has become, and the kind of mundane act of disregarding the person you love because you’re afraid of the outcome…. Yeah

Agoraphobia - Autoheart

Yeah this song was put on there specifically for knives and his innate desire never to leave the house again,,, just kind of lock himself away from the scary aspects of the world and life.

Slow Dancing - Aly & Aj

I love this as a vashmeryl song, specifically them getting to know each other after years of knowing each other,,, y’know?

Just the heartfelt act of having been around one another and having fallen deeply in love, but now they have to relearn how to interact, how to behave when someone isn’t hunting you down or chasing you from town to town. 

And they both realize it doesn’t need to be fancy or extraordinary,,, it just needs to be real.

Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls

Okay, this song is on everyone’s ship playlist, and it often ends up paired with vashwood, but I liked it as a song from Knives’ perspective for milly

Especially the chorus

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

Knives ultimately doesn’t care what anyone else thinks, they don’t have any say in what he does or doesn’t do, but he does care about milly and what she thinks and how she’ll react, and he knows he can always turn to her for comfort, because thats what milly is… pure comfort. 

And for the first time in his long life, he wants someone other than Vash to know everything about him

Make You Feel My Love - Adele

Milly and Meryl energy in this one !!!!

Initially i had it as a milly song, where she kind of wants knives to know that no matter what she’s going to be there for him to comfort and offer support whenever

But i do like the idea of Meryl being like,,,, im going to make you understand that i love you no matter the circumstances, rain or shine i will be there and you will accept it because I love you, you DUNCE

Never Ending Summer - Wes Reeve

Uhh i added this song mostly for vibes and because I liked the idea of Milly saying ‘kiss me hard, touch me soft on the weekends’

:D 

It’s just a lovely song about like,, love blindness and i think that milly and knives will suffer from that for a bit

Graceland Too - Phoebe Bridgers

So i added this song purely for the line ‘Whatever you want me to do, I will do’, and then the repetition of ‘whatever she wants’ because i like the idea of this song being from Knives’ perspective as he watches milly kind of… unravel ? in moments when she’s working too hard or needs a break from the world, he wants to be there for her. 

I just love the idea of unfailing love… and uhhh we won’t read to far into that.

[fr-wiwiw]

I have no art to post— actually I do. It's my studies and sketches, sfw & nsfw, things like that. But I haven't been deliberately drawing something. Mainly I've just been focusing on sharpening my art skills to gain commissions as I'm a freelance human artist, in the midst of AI chaos, I'm trying my very best to keep up while not draining myself.

So I just want to give you some updates of my life, idk if this is important or not. I'm still a bit constipatedly (is this even a fucking word lol) awkward with communicating with my followers or advertising myself. Ironic, really, bcs I majored in design & advertisement.

Hi there, my lovelies—I hope you don't mind me calling you all that. I've been trying to do healthy habits and diligently fulfill my needs in 3 aspects. Mentally, spiritually and physically. For the past 7± years, I was not really in a great place mentally. I will not expose it in this post, don't worry it doesn't have anything to do with drugs or whatnot. Just that I've been constantly working and working, controlled by fear and my anxieties and I got depressed I think.

I didn't really understand how to actually 'heal' back then. But now I do now. Starting from January I've been trying to bounce back to have a healthy mindset again— trust me when I say I'm an overthinker & problem solver, it's such a nightmare to live in this body sometimes. Fellow overthinker, problem-solver & feeler type will relate to this perhaps hahah.. I'm a turbulence type too, fucking yay. Luckily, my prayers are answered. I can't write it down one by one here, you would be reading a 10k+ fanfiction and I'm sure you'd rather have me draw or write a real fanfic, smut would be preferable won't it? lol

I have many things change, become my better self (bcs I was, still am obsessed becoming better than my past self and I'm tired of living in such dark headspace). I do feel the changes, it helps that I have better friends, filtered out some that affects me negatively. This journey going into my 30s really is such a roller coaster, I never liked my 20s bcs of all the trauma and pain. But I wouldn't be able to reach this point if it wasn't for it.

So.. I'm grateful. Trying to always be grateful too, no matter how hard my circumstances are. I have faith that I will get what I've always envisioned and dream of

I'm also grateful that in 2022, a friend encouraged me to post my Gahan fanart. Now this may seem like biased and dedicated post for my Gahan moots & followers, in some way yes, I cannot deny that. But mostly this is too all of you, who come here and follow me bcs you like my arts & fanfics, supports me however you can despite having our own hardships that we may or may not share here. Your responses to my creations really feeds me and help me boost my confidence to keep drawing & keep creating, keep hoping. I always read your hashtags here, a lot of you are really such a hilarious individuals. I'm grateful my art can find you or you find my art and take delight in it. Because I do take delight in your reactions. In some ways, I never realized it, but you guys feel like penpals. It still feel one-way communication most of the time, idk if it's because of my awkwardness to respond to such responses. Feeling like, ah this too will pass or just bask in the reactions and sit then do nothing productive. I'm kinda scared I will be satisfied with one post and then not post anymore. You get it.. Yea you can probably tell by now I'm up in my head thinking too much. Posting that first Gahan fanart on twitter really was the best decision. It feels like I gained a special community, that's surprisingly still active and alive till this very day, I'm always waiting for new fics to drop gosh. I get to see tweets & tumblr posts that are deranged, detailed analysis, fan edits, those gifs, aus, fellow artists & authors! I get to know little bits of your daily lives too and what kind of person you are online haha, just so fun.

And then my freelancing journey.. My decision to become a freelancer has always been one of my dreams but boy oh boy isn't it fucking hard to start from 0 and exist in confusion haha. Money doesn't come easy too bcs I help feed my family along with my siblings. I've been swallowing all my jealousy seeing ppl my age can go out and watch concerts (even tho I don't like crowded & noisy places like that). Going on vacation, be in a romantic relationship, marry, so on and so forth. Idk if this is tmi posting my feelings like this out in the world, but it is what it is.

So.. TLDR:

Hi, I'm alive. I haven't post or updated much bcs I've been focusing on my well being. Honing my art skills, trying to get art commissions to put food on my table and simultaneously enjoying life as much as I could wisely. Thankyou to all of you who are still following me and keep supporting me, I will have to say, If you follow me for only Gahan posts, I have to disappoint you bcs I won't always post Gahan bcs I draw other things too. For my enjoyment, yours, others and mostly for me to gain market for commission too. This is norm, I'm sure most of you realized that too. But I still want to address things to you, I like interacting with all of you. I won't be surprised if one day you leave/unfollow, but let me be grateful to you while you're still here supporting me ^^

That's all for my update. I try my best to make this post as short but effective as possible so I don't bore you with my long ass writing, per usual lol. I cannot seem to write in shorts, I have accepted my faith lmao.

I wish you all well, wherever you are. I hope we can all be happy and well in this dark and uncertain place. Don't hesitate to give comments or drop questions here, I'm cooking my skills and art taste so I can give more to you and be satisfied with what I will achieve along with the progress.

See you in the next post!🌟

[minquiec]

A brief intermission as we cut to a bus that has crashed into my life: the bus also known as choso from the Hit Anime And Manga Jujutsu Kaisen

Yyyyyyookkkayyyyy

Yknow the fixation is fixating when you start making ocxccs about it

Off topic but I've actually only ever made two proper ocxcc ships with lore and planning in them (the first being my genshin one and the second being jipunk which was THIS year (had my genshin one for TWO YEARS which is crazy) so the fact I'm making another shows how much this man is affecting my mental state rn

But it also means I still love my other ships very much so 🎉🎉🎉 even if I don't draw it as much cause I can't focus on two things LOLOL

ANYWAYS ONTO THE ACTUAL POST

I said this on my story but the concept was like, a seperate setting bc I'm toooo dumb to understand jjk lore

AND, this is rlly dumb, THE WHOLE REASON BEHIND THIS SHIP IS BC I JUST WANNA CREATE A CHARACTER FOR HIM TO LOVE,,, (CHOSOYUKI IS CUTE BUT I NEED A DIFFERENT VIBE TO SATISFY MY DESIRE TO SEE THIS MAN HAPPY)

but yeah bc of that their dynamic is like

aloof and reserved individual who doesn't quite understand the concept of love outside of the familial one and is actually quite hesitant and shy abt it x a strange but kind person who slowly teaches him the aforementioned concept

Ok so the idea of how it goes is like choso randomly wakes up in a place

And this is highkey spoilers for like the 'endgame' of this but I'm never gonna make an actual plot sooo (plus I need to explain this before I sound insane)

The inspiration is like Elysian Fields (bit obsessed w this recently, I drew a jipunk piece abt this too) and ITS ALL CAUSE OF CHOSOS NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE IN THE MANGA AND WE'RE ALL FREAKING OUT ABT IT

But yes he wakes up in an unfamiliar field in an unfamiliar place but he's strangely calm about it (dunno why he is but I'll get back to thinking abt it later) but he spots this house in the distance and naturally he goes to it

And so he would meet haruko who's a little strange because she has no last name and isn't bothered by the fact that one. She lives in the middle of absolutely nowhere, and two. That he just shows up

She's even like "oh I haven't had visitors in a long while ☺️"

Aaannnd then cue a slow burn slice of life romance im gonna force them to have bc ASHBBENBKKKRMENJ SLOWBURN AGAGG cause there's no way someone like him is falling at first sight (imo anyways)

(Just a fun fact I fell asleep after writing this part and then woke up again HAHDHS it was 2 am.)

But yeah the situation is literally just the forced proximity trope where it's "oh I have to live with this stranger while I try to understand wtf is going but oh no I appear to have slowly fallen in love"

I just want someone to be nice :(( and kind :(( to him :((((( hold his hand pls and be so nice and gentle w his heart cause he's new at this :((((((((

Thinking abt how it's a slow burn is making me crazy rn cause it means we have a lot of stolen glances AHEGGEFGGG and like getting nervous HHHRGGGGRHH and shyness YYYRYYHGGRHHH and it's mostly all from choso cause I love it when a man falls harder 🔥🔥

Anyways I think that's mostly it for now cause I can't remember what else I wanted to say 🧚

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Back with more replies! I’ll try to answer some of the shorter ones today… most of them are related to either my previous replies or drawings, but there are also some related to ships in general.

Anonymous asked:

I know y'all have already been spoiled on quite a bit related to book 7, but I hope this won't ruin it any when you decide to go through it. You already know this, but Toboso Yana's storytelling is very high quality and FUN :) fans are focusing on major plot points right now, but even the little details and the way that plot points are presented are very important for the experience!!

Yeah, some of the spoilers are unavoidable, but I’m sure there are a lot of things we still have no idea about, and we’re definitely going to enjoy them tremendously once we’re at that point~ I love how you pointed out that Toboso’s writing is FUN, and I agree with you completely. There is so much to dive into and think about in her stories, not just the major plot points. We’re super looking forward to checking all of it out. This is actually one of the reasons we want to wait until the book 7 is done and we’ve rewatched all of the previous chapters.

Thank you for your understanding <3

Anonymous asked:

eels got some cake &lt;3

(this one and the next one are related to this drawing)

Hehe, they doooo~ big bois

hipsterteller asked:

I saw the new fanart and asked Who did they kill?

Honestly just some guy they needed to take care of~ or a bunch of guys. The negotiations don’t always go as planned…

Anonymous asked:

Personally, i always saw Floyd as a virgin because who in their right mind would want to sleep with him?! (I'm so sorry, Floyd, simps).

Everyone is scared of him, and for a good reason, I mean LOOK at HIM!!

(this one and the next one are related to this post)

Floyd really is terrifying, and people do try to avoid him, and for a good reason indeed! But at the same time Floyd seems to be quite charming and popular?? I don’t know how exactly to describe it, I guess Floyd is the hell ride that you know for sure will kill you, but you can’t help but get drawn to it. Plus Floyd is good at capturing his prey lol

artfulhero-m asked:

I just read those first time headcanons, Sebek x Idia? I didn't even realize that was a ship, what's the context behind it? Also how much do you ship it cause now I need to know more about what you think about the ship lol.

Oh we ship them quite strongly~ They’re kind of one of our favourite dynamics: a strict and rules-obsessed loud musclebrain + a snarky cynical little troll who is physically weak but know exactly what to say to get on the first guy’s nerves. It’s very specific I know lol

These two got to interact during the Glorious Masquerade and the Harveston events! I feel like every time they interact they end up pissing each other off, because Sebek really doesn’t like Idia’s attitude (he’s WHINY and he’s UNWORTHY he just CAN’T HAVE the same position as MALLEUS!) and Idia gets defensive and starts making fun of Sebek for being loud, self-righteous and not very smart.

We have a whole tag with replies and drawings of them, and even one hc post. So if you haven’t seen it, feel free to check it out!

Anonymous asked:

Catching up on old asks and realizing that I am a little pervert who’d like to see the (genderswapped) cast in their underwear bc they are too pretty (and also because I am thinking that Epel’s whole bra closet is all cute apple themes)

(this one is related to this post)

Awww, Epel really would have cute apple-themed underwear! I haven’t thought much about patterns and designs for all the girls, but I would really love to draw all of them one day… I’ll draw some if we’re lucky 💪😔

I’m very happy you like the idea and enjoyed the post!

Anonymous asked:

TBH the condom post was kinda funny. I like how it basically boils down to: Yea, they all mostly know they should be wearing them, but they're all a bunch of kinky fucks so no one really does

Thank you, Anon!! I’m glad you find it funny lol

They really are a bunch of kinky fucks… they shouldn’t be allowed to have sex at all :(

Anonymous asked:

Hello fuck boy

If I’m not mistaken, we got this ask just after posting the Judar sketch yesterday…

And if it’s not directed at him, then oh hi! :3

Anonymous asked:

have u played bg3

Nope, we haven’t.

Anonymous asked:

Have you guys seen or played through Death Plate on itch. io?

It's a nice small RPG game and I am absolutely obsessed with it

We haven’t seen it, but it looks quite interesting!

Thank you for your recommendation, Anon <3

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

Okay weird ship take: Riddle and Ortho

It’s a fun one! We aren’t super into it, but their interactions during the Halloween event were pretty sweet. Ortho seems to understand how Riddle’s psyche work surprisingly nicely + I really want them to hang around at some puzzle/quest thing lol

Anonymous asked:

Ooohh, Seberollo sounds real fun! Maybe Rollo would try to get Sebek to embrace his magicless human side. I think that if he knew about his father's circumstances, he would feel the same pitying concern that he showed when Yuu told him that they got used to all the magic nonsense. Of course, this would only annoy Sebek more and more.

Or maybe they could bond over their shared distrust of goats. Curse you, twst fandom, for getting me invested in all these cool rarepairs!

You made such a good point, Anon; Sebek really is special in a way! He could stay as magicless as his dad, but he acts so loud and obnoxious about being a fae and worshipping Malleus Draconia of all people… he’s clearly misguided. But I feel like even if Rollo had this idea of making Sebek reconsider his own identity and being, he would change his mind the moment he sees Sebek again. He is so… so insufferable, it’s not worth it….

They could bond over their distrust of goats though, it would be so funny and almost cute. That one goat has made two mortal enemies lol

Anonymous asked:

Vil being Idia's inlaw? Yeah, this is worst than their time in school.

MUCH worse. I feel like even if Vil wasn’t Idia’s inlaw, he would still be surprisingly present in his and Ortho’s life, but if they’re legit family? Be ready for nagging, Idia, he WILL make your life better whether you want it or not.

Anonymous asked:

Ace and Riddle would have the most fucking embarassing crushes on each other thinking they're good at hiding it... NEWS FLASH ASSHOLES. EVERYONE KNOWS. WE KNEW SINCE DAY ONE.

I know right, they’re SO OBVIOUS IT’S ALMOST PAINFUL TO WATCH. LIKE OUCH.

And they would be in denial for so long…

nopekido asked:

Floyd x Riddle headcannon that after having hard, rough smex, Riddle’s ass would be in a lot of pain and he’d have to use something as a walking stick just so he could be able to walk properly. He’d be all shaky and would have his hair be all messed up. He would be able to stand (let alone walk) properly for days (weeks if Floyd’s in heat)

Oh poor Riddle… I feel like I say it every time, but THIS is what his mother meant when she told him not to hang out with other kids! OF COURSE he would get stuck with some horrible bandit whose dick is way too big for Riddle’s tiny butt-

[likesunsetorange]

omg don't be sorry for rambling pls i love hearing about what you have to say!! the fact that levi and mikasa's dynamic reminds you of you and your brother is so sweet stoppp 😭

i don't have twitter so i didn't know DOL was pretty personal to you as a writer but i love that. i can tell it's something created out of love! <3

i'm glad to hear we'll get to hear more eruri's lore in DOL omg hhahdjs, i didn't know you like them so much that makes me so happy to hear haha, i'm just so obsessed with ackermans and their men idk isayama cooked peak romance with that i think. but hey, if you ever do decide to write a full on eruri fic i will be your number 1 supporter hahdjdh 🫡

haha i’m glad someone enjoys my rambles then!!

but idk how much of the dol lore i’ve shared on tumblr, mostly because i feel like i don’t talk about dol as much on here? so i guess here’s a bit of a dol lore dump if you must!!! and just some other stuff about the fic too!

but forgive me if i have LOL but for those of y’all that maybe don’t follow me on twitter, dol was actually inspired by something that happened to me!

i mention it in the first chapter of the fic, but the whole package scenario actually happened to me with my neighbor! i used to actually kind of have a tiny crush on my neighbor (nothing crazy i just thought he was cute lol) and my package got delivered to him!! but he lived directly across from me lol so i didn’t bother knocking or letting him know when i got my package but he saw me on the ring and then came knocking on my door a few hours later asking about the package lmfao 😭 it was super awkward in my case bc my dad answered the door and i had just gotten out the shower and i looked so bad LOL it was very embarrassing and i avoided him until he moved out a month later lolbut yea i like to think of it as a little butterfly effect in my life! bc it brought me to the fandom and stuff! so dol is really special to me in that aspect, i turned an embarrassing moment in my life into something special haha

and then in actual dol, hitch annie and sasha are really a big combination of all of my female besties (i have several lol), but i have a friend group of four, and their dynamic reminds me a lot of the of the four of us!! there’s so many convos and tidbits of their friendship lore, i’ve kinda stolen from my friends and i and our stupid escapades 😭 if you read the one shot i did of mikasa’s college days, there’s a few little tidbits that are actually just about me i slipped in! i really love writing their scenes bc i think about my friends and our friendship and what they mean to me! one of my fav scenes i have planned is from a really pivotal moment i think of often between one of my friends and i!

this is me actually really exposing the fuck out of myself too LOL but for eren’s character too, i’ve honestly put some traits of all my past romantic conquests 💀 i won’t say much more than that but yea LOL

and i’ve also expressed my experiences with grief a lot while writing dol too! my own personal experiences and just in the last few years seeing how those around me have handled it as well!

i think that’s why i just love dol so much bc it’s like little pieces of my life broken into the story, i like to say dol is a love letter to those around me and the people i love! it’s from the heart truly lol it’s not perfect but the love really is there and dol at its core (or at least i hope it’s being conveyed) is about love!!! platonic familial and romantic!! but that’ll make more sense later i think haha

but i am also obsessed with all the ackerman relationships!! i’m obsessed w kenuri too!!! i think they’re all peak tbh isayama went off w them he cooked i fear. BUT THANKS SM ABOUT THE ERURI 😭🤍 YOURE TOO KIND ANON! in glad i have a shooter!!! maybe i will write a little drabble about it bc dol eruri is kinda peak to me they make me emo i won’t lie 😭🩵

[bisexualamy]

Transition Update #63: 7 years on T & hysto retrospective

Hi everyone!! The title says it all. I wanted to include all of my phallo consults in this as well, but a few items are last-minute up in the air, so I'll write a separate post for the phallo consults omnibus.

As always, please don't reblog or screenshot and repost. Links are fine. Writing transition updates over the years has been really good for me and I always hope someone finds them helpful. But at the same time, the larger public is awful about bottom surgeries and I'd rather not subject myself to that ire.

This post has a general content warning for discussions of sex, genitals, body image and body/gender dysphoria.

7 years on T

I stopped doing annual T updates a while ago, because after the first 2-3 years most of the bodily changes are basically the same bodily changes cis men go through as they age. This year I made a point to celebrate 7 years, because that's an absolutely wild number, and I think it's important to acknowledge my T anniversary when it comes around. Testosterone has fundamentally changed my life. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be here without it. I'm so grateful to be in a place mentally, physically, financially, and temporally that I can continue to access it.

I started taking Finasteride this year bc my hairline is getting a little thin. This is, again, more a factor of being in my later 20s than anything else. I didn't expect it to affect me as much as it did. It was one of the first times I experienced and male body image issue that had nothing to do with being trans. Normally, I'm so grateful to live as a man that most male body image issues don't affect me. I don't care that I'm short or a little round or I have wider hips. I'm so grateful to pass and live full-time as a man that it doesn't register. This one was different, and I'm not quite sure why, but I'm going to try and not obsess over it.

Off and on the last four years, but seriously the last two years, I started working out and lifting. At first, I mostly ran, especially during the height of the lockdown when it was the only safe way to work out. I love running but I always wanted to be strong and see what my body could do. The past two years I've been working with an online trainer and my strength has really improved!! I'm hitting personal bests in the gym and it's stopped feeling like a tedious chore. I'm actually excited to go now. That's an amazing feeling and I'm always really happy when my friends or family call me strong.

Hysto retrospective

It's been 7 months since my hysto back in January. The recovery for that was longer and more difficult than I expected. Being cooped up in the house and feeling really weak and gross, on top of the bottom dysphoria I kept experiencing having to constantly discuss lots of parts I hate having, was really hard on me. I feel like, over the last two months, I've shaken off a lot of the lingering depression from that. All that being said, I've healed very well, and I'm so happy I got my hysto.

One of the worst, dysphoria-inducing nightmares for me was getting pregnant. It was so bad, it prevented me from seriously dating cis men for years. T is not birth control, and even with protection and respectful partners, the fear and anxiety were just too much for me to handle. I knew that once I got my hysto, I'd probably feel more confident dating men, but I didn't realize the extent to which that would be true.

I've felt way more confident to date around and hook up since I got my hysto. I've gone on more dates with cis gay men than I ever have before, and even though they ultimately fizzled out, I have never had that level of dating confidence in my life. It's so, so gender affirming when cis gay men are attracted to me. I always felt like I lost something, being a bisexual man who was too anxious about being trans to participate in any kind of gay male culture in NYC. This is by far the biggest gift my hysto gave me and I'm so happy for it.