#i'm emotional about it okay LOOK AWAY ughhhh

[this-is-krikkit]

happy first belated brithday to me and the ridiculously late rainbow stroke this scene gave me a whole ass 7 years after everyone else

i will never forget the absolute thrill this caused and the subsequent ways in which it completely ruined altered my brain chemistry

thank you forever yoi

lmao i literally went "ugh if life was fair to queer people he would kiss him right now"

and in the next second guess what happened

GUYS

GUESS WHAT HAPPENED

[brotherwtf]

Having thoughts about age gap au Gale hiding an injury/illness from John because his dad always made him feel like a burden and that hurt was deserved 💔 and John losing his mind but trying not to show it as he takes care of Gale, or maybe he doesn't get to because Gale has to go to the hospital and John gets the call while he's at work </3 these boys can fit so much whump and trauma and comfort

ughhhh yes putting Gale into the whump blender again :(( I want to traumatize this boy forever that is my lot in life

----

Gale knew to never show weakness. It's what he was taught from an incredibly young age, weakness meant you could be picked from the crowd, weakness meant that you weren't good enough.

There was a lot of things Gale's father viewed as a weakness. Being sick, scraping your knees, getting hurt and you better not think about crying because at that point you'd be better off dead anyway. Gale learned to hide it whenever he got sick, to lick his wounds in solitude, and to never, ever, ask for help or pity.

So Gale didn't even flinch when he woke up with a 102 degree fever. He's lived through worse, no need to be a baby about it. He got ready for his classes like normal, kissed John goodbye, and waved off his looks of concern when John pressed his cheek to Gales forehead, fretted about him running hot. Gale was fine, he didn't need John's help.

He was able to get through his first class without many problems, he felt waves of nausea periodically and some bouts of lightheadedness, but Gale wasn't going to let that take him down. His second class was a little worse, his hands quivered when he tried to write and the nausea stayed, no longer ebbing in and out in waves.

Gale passes out around lunchtime, Marge by his side and all he can really hear is her anxious fretting, calls of his name and yelling at someone to phone the hospital. He remembers weakly trying to push her off, says he's fine, but Marge tells him to shut the fuck up, he's going to the damn hospital. He doesn't remember much after that.

He wakes up to the soft beeping of a heart monitor, the bright fluorescent lights of a hospital room and he groans. Gale shouldn't be here. He's taking up the space that someone else needs more, he doesn't deserve the time or energy that people are wasting on him. He doesn't get to dwell too much before John is quickly at his side, taking his hand and pushing his hair back. His lips press into a thin line, palm pressing against the sure heat that Gale gives off.

"Baby? Are you okay? God Marge told me you collapsed and I left work immediately. Fuck Gale you should have told me you weren't feeling good," John frets and Gale just shakes his head weakly.

"I'm fine, John. I'm good, you didn't need to leave work just for me. When are they gonna let me out?" Gale asks and his voice is hoarse.

John's brow furrows and his expression grows stern.

"Gale, no, you're not fine. You have a 103 degree fever and you're shaking like a damn leaf. I'm not gonna stay at work when I know you're sick," John says and Gale can feel another wave of nausea that isn't caused by the sickness.

Gale turns his head against the pillow, avoiding John's gaze and he can feel his eyes well up. No, no, he can't cry. Crying is the worst thing he could do right now. But the tears come anyway, streaming down his face steadily and John rushes down to wipe them away, fretting all over again.

"Hey, hey, baby, Gale, come on don't cry. It's okay, I'm not mad I swear. You should have just told me you weren't feeling well, I could have helped, then maybe you wouldn't have fainted," John says, a firm thumb brushing away the tears that stream down his face and Gale shakes his head.

"Don't... don't wanna be a burden," Gale manages to choke and John shushes him and forces Gale's head to turn towards him.

John's face is both soft and firm, his eyes filled with emotion that's both frustration and affection. Gale hates how worried he looks, just because Gale's a little bit sick.

"Gale, you will never be a burden to me. I promised your mama I would protect you, and I promised you the same. I love you, Gale, and if it takes me dropping everything for you to understand how much you mean to me, I'll do it in a heartbeat," John says, cupping Gale's face with both of his hands.

Gale squeezes his eyes shut because he knows if he looks at John anymore he'll just ugly sob, grabs John's wrist and nuzzles his soaked face into it, gasps and chokes as he continues to sob, John shushing him and bringing him in closer until their foreheads are pressed together, breathing heavily against his face.

"I swear, Gale, you are not a burden. You are my everything, doll, my everything," John whispers, and Gale can only nod, finally allowing himself to melt into the sheets, letting himself feel fatigued and exhausted and sick because John is letting him, allowing him to let go.

[stgosupremacy]

Hi today im ranting about ash scenes where he's concerned for goh cos coming from ash especially it's so cute

the way ash has to just look at goh that far away tho

"Poor Goh.."

ok obviously you would hope your friend would be sad for you too if you lost 😂 but the way ash leans forward and his eyes start quivering a bit shows how much he cares already like it's been 7 episdoes at this stage??

...yehhh maybe that was a bit too much analysing but ah you guys know me 🥰💖

*puts cup down omggitsgettingserious* "Whats wrong? Dont you feel like you wanna eat?"

"Nothing's wrong, I'm fine."

"You dont have a stomach ache, do you?"

🥺

can i say just how sweet this is....this is ash we are talking ab and when there's food it's all he can think of but LOOK AT HIM SO CONCERNED AND GOH IS JUST STUTTERY AND A BLINKING MESS BLESS HIM WJFADLS pls i still think ab this all the time

"Grookeys doing fine, I know it!"

THE WAY HE NOTICES IMMEDIATELYYYYY THAT GOH IS UPSET AND GOES TO COMFORT HIM stoppp my heart!!! I just find it so sweet how much he's in time wth Gohs emotions like- the second he looks sad ash wants to make sure goh's okay <33

"Come on."

ok imsorry but he said "come on" so fondly 🥰 and it looked to me after i replayed it like 9times (💀) that he takes goh by the hand or the arm and pulls him away (? you guys should have a look for yourselves im not totally sureee) LIKE BROO STOPP 😭😭 THEYRE TOO CUTE??

so we have to start in a sing-song voice:

"GOhHhHH, i heard your next trial mission is coming in!!" 🎵 hes so excited lmao brother it's been 1min since the last one 😂

goh cant say the same

"you could be happier?"

*doesnt give him time to answer*

"What's the matter, Goh?"

the way he says this is not even a question at that point it's just a statment 😂 he looks like he's ready to fight someone if somebody did something bad to him bless him we love you ash <33

goh is unphased atm lmfao

THEN WHEN GOH BOWS HIS HEAD AND SOUNDS ALL SAD ASH JUST CHANGES HIS POSTURE AND LOOKS SO SAD FOR HIM TOO UGHHHH

sorry i keep getting distracted bc ash without a cap is even more adorable ;-;

he looks so concerned its acc too much for me to take

"I'll be there, you'll be fine!"

i love how it's out of the question at this point that Ash is coming along and no one is going to stop him 😂 the way ash always supports him and doesn't want to leave his side sometimes melts me it's too much!!!!!!!!!!!!111

..also goh looks like he's in love again i dont blame him

ending screenshot of a renewed goh and determined ash bc they are so adorable 🥰🥺💖💖

[walkingstackofbooks]

SNW 2x05 Charades thought-stream

[15 July '23]

La'an: "Why aren't you practising with Mr. Spock?" Erica: "Oh, things are kind of weird between them." XD Erica knooows

"Explore new interests such as cooking." Awww

Sam!

Una, Erica, Nyota and La'an all hanging out together - crew!

"It is good to see you Nurse Chapel." So so awkward.

He barely looks different as human, but it's still so strange!

I find it so funny they have 10 minute intros. Just put the titles whenever, y'know?

Spock's face cycling through his emotions so quickly, that's impressive!

Oh no, the second hand embarrassment about Spock interrupting tat meeting. Aghhhh

"Vulcans can be such jerks." *hug* "Did I read the moment wrong?" Oh, that's super sweet!

"Sometimes I don't cry in the shower. Kidding!" What is he like?!

Amanda!!!

HAT! It's now hiding human ears rather than Vulcan ones! I love love love this!

"You aren't a practised liar yet." Oh is this when he learns to lie?

Uhura is the only one who sounds like a Vulcan XD The others are so bad at it!

I thought they were going to do the Illyrian gene thing there, saying their medicine couldn't fix the genes.

Interesting that Amanda hides her ears with her hair

No, Spock, you have to tell T'Pring or you won't be able to hide it if she's not on your side!

The dad! "These are delicious!" Who said Vulcans don't show emotions?

Girls on tour!

"Yeah, I hate analogies." XD

"So what, I gotta be the one to vote against doing the crazy maneuver? Does that sound like me?" ERICA MY BELOVED I'm so happy to see more of you being you :3

Spock's expression while being interrogated - somehow so neutral but you can see him holding back

"The other being diverted shields away from himself to protect you." "(quietly) He what?" Oh. Oh.

"Oh my god. Christine, come on!" "Seriously you do know. Tell them!" It sounds like they've been waiting for this opportunity for too long XD

Ughhhh why does friendship have to not be a convincing enough reason on its own?

"Yes, uh, the very important earth transition of..." "-charades" HAH! I CANNOT, YES! I want to see this so badly. (I love how strained Pike looks. Poor, stressed dear XD)

"I have to tell you-" *stab* oh Christine!!!

Spock not managing to hold the secret in, even as a Vulcan, but he's doing it Vulcanly because Vulcans do have feelings ughh I cannot!

"You refer to my human side as a handicap, yet my mother is the most resilient, compassionate, tolerant person I've known." TOO CUTE. I LOVE THIS

"You can read about it in my paper when it comes out later this year." POWER MOVE GIRLLL

Chris is the most dadliest dad in this episode and I love him for it

When T'Pring said "time apart", I don't think she meant go and kiss someone else straight away! Spock! Seriously?!

Okay, I enjoyed that episode - though I think Spock Amok was better? I am miffed we did not get to see T'Prings dad doing charades though! We were robbed! How can you mention that and then not even show it a little bit? XD

[inkofamethyst]

February 15, 2024

I don't think I've ever worn a bikini. I can't remember the last time I went swimming. It might've been in high school. Part of the reason is definitely the whole hair situation but another part of the reason is probably that I haven't found a one-piece I'd be comfortable in. And like I'm generally fine with my body, I think, and I even own a bikini, but I've never worn it. I did bring it with me from home. But I got an ad for swim rompers and I'm wondering if I actually find them cute or if my interest is merely a reflection of some hidden self-esteem thing. I suppose there are two ways to "fix" the issue: make no change and overcome the fear, or regularly work out to reach a potentially unattainable goal.

On the other hand, maybe it's just not for me. It's okay to feel good about my body but not want to show it off. That doesn't necessarily have to be a sign of insecurity, I don't think. It can just be a preference.

If I had an ultra-flat stomach, ultra-defined waist, and ultra-toned everything else, would I be more down to wear a bikini? Hm. I don't know.

Coding is like teaching myself an instrument. Muddling my way through new techniques, feeling euphoric when something clicks into place. It also means it's the most tedious and annoying thing ever.

I did something in lab for the first time today. I'm not going to say what it was, exactly, but Future!Me will know. It was weird. I met with my advisor later in the day for our catch-up and confessed that it felt weird, so weird, and he said it was normal to feel that way, that he initially felt the same, and that the feeling never completely goes away. Having to suppress a mild panic response was weird. And I managed it, probably because I knew I was going to be doing this eventually, and because there are ways to look without seeing, to focus without focusing. It's a very emotional, unscientific thing. And I feel like I can't talk about it with anyone, not really. I mean maybe the people in my lab because they get it, they've done it, they do it, but not my friends or family or random people who ask me about my work. I need to talk to my advisor about how he handles those conversations. It's hard to be a science communicator when you can't even properly communicate the science you're supposed to know best.

This was a busy week. Didn't even manage to get much braiding in. Looks like it'll be a weekend in.

Today I'm thankful that everything will let up a bit after tomorrow, I think. (But first I've gotta finish this genetics homework ughhhh (but I prefer this to a midterm any day).)

[mageofseven]

Part 3 with Beel and Belphie is ready!

Part 1 | Part 2

~

Beelzebub:

The big guy noticed the changes with his girlfriend before she even mentioned them; the sixth brother is pretty observant with those he cares about after all.

Whenever he discussed how worried he was about her, about her lethargy and dizzy spells, the woman would just smile and say she was fine, that it was just her body being off and human bodies are just weird like this at times.

Beel didn't know much about the human body so he chose to believe his Muffin on this, even if he was still worried.

As the months went on, MC started to gain weight. The demon noticed this, but it really didn't faze him at first; he didn't mind it if his girlfriend was a bit rounder in her torso.

What he did mind however was how self-conscious his girlfriend got about it. She had been eating a lot more recently and she couldn't really fight it, but she also hated every pound gained from it all.

Beel always told her how beautiful she was and how her weight never changed that to him.

However, she'd glance down at how her belly poked out now and looked to her boyfriend, who was so incredibly strong and was practically the living definition of fitness and was so good looking... and she couldn't help but fall even deeper into the slow burning feeling of loathing with of her own body.

One day, MC asked if she could go to the gym with him. The Avatar of Gluttony was immediately tense because she still wasn't feeling well, but he knew it would probably make her feel a bit better if she was exercising and actively working on what was bothering her

So he agreed, but the man couldn't bring himself to do his usual workout routine with her there. The big guy was just too worried about his Muffin.

At one point, the man just noticed that something seemed off about his Human.

He set down the weights and walked over to the treadmill she was on-- and got there just in time to catch her as she fainted.

Luckily, the woman woke up fairly quickly, but her boyfriend had enough; no more exercise for her, not until she got her dizziness under control.

For the next few days, the MC was extra depressed and just found herself in bed more, usually snuggled up with either Beel or Belphie.

It was one such day when the cramping started.

She had gotten to lay with Beel for awhile, but eventually he had to leave for the game with his teammates.

Usually, MC would go and watch him play, but since her cramps were so bad, she didn't really have this option.

She was cuddled up in bed with Belphie when the redhead gave her a kiss goodbye and told her and his twin that he'd come straight home, receiving a nod from his Muffin and a thumbs up from his twin.

The pain just got worse while he was gone though and things evolved to MC gripping onto the Avatar of Sloth and heavily sobbing into his chest.

The seventh brother couldn't move and get help; everytime he tried, the human would beg between sobs for him not to leave her. He couldn't call for help either because he realized that he left his phone up in the planetarium.

Belphie was stuck with the sobbing human for over three hours until Beel came home.

Eventually, MC could feel something lowering within her and the need to push was unbearable.

"B-Belphie, help me up!"

The man did as he was told and helped her off the bed.

Beely came into the room just in time to see his girlfriend squatting and pushing out the head while his twin held onto her to help keep her balanced.

Eyes wide, the demon ran to girlfriend. His brain wasn't fully registering what the heck was happening, but his immediate reaction was still to rush to her side and help her.

MC immediately grabbed onto her boyfriend.

"B-Beely--uhhh... i-it's coming out."

Still deeply confused and concerned, the man's gaze dropped down between her legs, now letting himself focus on the head between them.

MC... his Muffin was having his baby!

Okay action then thoughts. Right now, the man just had to be there for her.

"Belphie, go tell Lucifer. We need a doctor."

The man was really trying to keep calm for his Muffin.

Without really pausing to answer, his twin rushed out the door.

"It's okay, Muffin, I'm here."

The redhead held onto his girlfriend and encouraged her as she pushed.

When the baby was finally pushed out enough to be freed from it's mom, Beel already had his hands around it so it didn't fall to the floor.

The demon forgot to breathe for a minute as he stared down at his daughter. His daughter.

Smiling, Beel lifted his gaze back to his girlfriend, but found that the woman was still crying in pain.

"Muffin?"

"I-It still--ughhhh, I think there's another."

The man's eyes widen.

Beel noticed his girlfriend's legs shaking and knew she wouldn't be able to keep herself up.

He adjusted his hold on his little girl before guiding MC onto the bed to lay down. He stayed between her legs and continued to give her encouraging words.

Since their sister already stretched the way open for them, the second baby was crowning in very little time.

A few minutes later, MC birthed the second baby, another girl. Both girls had his wings, horns, even his hair and eye color.

The man held both girls in his arms, already overwhelmed with his love for them, before looking up at MC, who was regaining her breath.

Beel sat down next to her and kissed her cheek.

"Are you alright?"

His girlfriend nodded, gaze falling to their girls.

"Beely... we're parents now?"

Beel smiled and nodded.

"I..." The woman sighed. "How did this even happen?"

"I dunno... are you okay with this, Muffin?"

"...Are you?"

His smile grew.

"Yeah."

She gave her boyfriend a small smile.

"Then... I am too."

Beel leaned down and kissed her.

"Good. I love you... I love our girls." The demon smiled down at the twins in his arms before meeting MC's eyes again. "This is... a dream. All at once, I got everything I wanted in life. I'll make sure to give you and the girls everything I can."

The doctor finally came a few minutes later, obviously late. Still, he checked MC and the girls to make sure they were okay and before he even left, the rest of House of Lamentation knew that the two were now parents.

Belphegor:

It took Belphie a bit longer than his twin to realize something was wrong with MC.

Sleepy boy... well, has a sleepy mind.

Not to say that it took him long though; while Beel noticed the human feeling off in his scenario on the first day, it took his twin about three days.

Honestly, he wasn't really worried about how tired they got. Hell, that just meant more naps they could take together so the Avatar of Sloth was winning in that regard.

He didn't really care about the weight gain either. Yeah, he teased her about it a bit, but it was always followed by wrapping his arms around her waist and if his words actually hurt her, which sometimes they did, he'd sleepily kiss their neck, their cheek, their lips

"It was a joke, Butthead." He'd tell them. "If anything, you're even cuter with a belly."

And the boy thrived off the blush that came after.

What the boy didn't enjoy, however, was her dizzy spells. The woman would go pale and suddenly have to grab onto him. Sometimes, MC would even full on faint and he'd have to quickly catch her before she hit the ground.

The first time that happened, the two were on their way to lunch at RAD and suddenly his girlfriend stopped walking. He turned around to ask why she stopped just for the woman to fall forward and for him to have to scramble to catch her.

Luckily, the woman was only out for a minute and was confused when she woke up in her boyfriend's arms, laying on the hallway floor at RAD.

Belphie took her straight home after that, not even giving the human the option to stick around and finish the school day.

The demon didn't understand what was wrong with his Human and whenever he'd ask MC, the woman didn't seem too concerned. Lightly, yes, but she said it'd probably correct itself and human bodies are just weird for the sake of being weird sometimes.

The seventh brother wasn't sure that he believed it, but he also didn't have any other answer so he just chose to leave it at that.

Basically, it was months of Sleepy Boy pretending he didn't care, but secretly hovering over his girlfriend.

After nine months of this hovering, it finally ended.

The two were upstairs in the attic, napping.

MC had been having cramps all day and Belphie suggested just sleeping through them, saying that eventually they will just go away.

Technically, he was right, just not in a way he expected.

He woke up to MC heavily sobbing his name. The man jolted awake and found his girlfriend gripping his shirt and burying her face in his chest.

"What's wrong--"

That's when he noticed the bed was... wet? Why was it wet?

"B-Belphie, somethings--gaaahh." The woman was panting through the pain.

The demon threw the blanket off of her and saw that the bed was soaked, as was her leggings, but there was also a slight bulge.

He pulled them down and saw that she was crowning.

His eyes went wide. She's pregnant? How the hell is she pregnant?

He looked back up at MC, who was still crying from the contractions, and knew he had to handle this before anything else.

He got up from the bed and positioned himself between her legs.

"You gotta push." He told her. "It's not gonna end if you don't push, Butthead."

His voice was firm, but tinged with some sympathy.

The woman was in too much pain to argue.

It took twenty minutes, but the MC managed to push the baby out half way, only to be pulled out completely by her boyfriend.

The demon stared down at the baby, a boy with his tail, eyes, and hair, and didn't know how to feel. He had gotten so focused on helping MC that his emotions felt lightyears away.

The human cried out and his head snapped up to look see her still writhing in pain.

Was there another one? The man quickly found out that there was.

And so it all repeated.

Once the second one was born, a little girl with his horns and eyes, but MC's hair, Belphie stared down at the twins on the bed, crying at the top of their lungs.

The man was already so tired of hearing cries.

"B-Belphie..."

He looked up at MC, who had a panicked expression on her face.

Leaving the twins laying between her legs, the Avatar of Sloth went back to his side of the bed and pulled her into his arms.

Neither said a word for a while. The only sound in the room were their twins' cries.

"I didn't know..." MC mumbled.

Belphie pulled back to meet her eyes, just staring into them for a full minute.

"Promise me. Promise that it's true and you didn't know."

"I promise. I swear on everything I have with you that I had no idea."

He sighed.

"Okay." He leaned in and kissed her.

After a moment or two, he pulled away and looked down at the crying babies on the bed.

"So... what do you wanna do with them?"

"I..." The woman stared down at her babies. "C-Can you bring them to me?"

Her boyfriend nodded and scooped up the babies one at a time to bring into her arms.

The woman brought them to her chest, causing them to finally stop crying in favor of feeding from her.

Belphie watched this quietly, not really sure what else to do.

After about a minute or two, MC spoke up.

"Belphie... would you be mad at me... if I said I wanted to keep them?"

The woman knew her boyfriend wasn't a fan of kids, a topic they always clashed with a bit. MC didn't think she could survive losing her twins in anyway now that they're here, but she worried about what Belphie would think of this.

The man pursed his lips. He honestly never wanted kids before, never liked them. Still though... he felt odd. Different.

Maybe it was seeing MC hold his children so sweetly in this moment, but he wasn't as against this as he always imagined himself to be.

Was he at the beginning of developing paternal feelings or was he simply not strong enough to take away something that his girlfriend obviously wanted so much? The demon wasn't sure.

"No. I'm not mad." He shook his head. "I... damn, I don't understand how this is happening but... if you want this then I'm here for the long haul. I'll take care of them; I'll take care of you. We'll do this together."

~

Part 1 | Part 2

[thefudge]

i think you mentioned in a previous post that the kathony sex scene seemed rushed to you. care to expand on that?

yeah, i was referring to that first sex scene in the great outdoors lol

okay so, everything about it felt...truly bizarre to me. the editing, the choreography, the "underwear" & stays that looked way too modern, even for bridgerton, the setting (!!!), the confusing visuals etc.

like, yes i could see the passion and chemistry....but also i couldn't? because the editing was so choppy and rushed i could barely understand what the hell was happening. i get that they were going for that heady, fever dream atmosphere, to show how frantic kate & anthony are in their lust for each other, but surely there was a better way to do it? instead of looking natural, the whole thing looked staged and weird. and i cannot stress how distracting the victoria's secret lingerie was. even if we ignore the fact that kate would've been wearing a shift under her stays, i don't get why they had her keep the stays on during the whole scene. it's not like the actress shied away from showing her nakedness later in the season. if it was supposed to be some kind of statement that kate was not ready to be *that* naked to him...well, it didn't really hit home, since anthony was already parked between her thighs, which feels a lot more intimate to me. and the stays just looked so baaad and out of place. they looked like a tiny, glorified bra and it annoyed me to no end. there was that moment where anthony reached up with his hand to touch her over the stays while he was eating her out and i kept muttering "just take off the stupid bra!" instead of enjoying the scene. speaking of which, couldn't we allow the eating out to...actually play out? couldn't we slow down a little? idk, the whole choreography felt so chaotic. maybe the actors were told to improvise and do what felt right...but maybe more direction would've helped! half the time i had no idea what i was looking at! it took several gifs on tumblr to figure out the physics of the whole thing.

which brings me to the setting. ughhhh. outdoors sex. i'm not saying it couldn't have been fun, but what they had to work with was two small and uncomfortable settees. the undressing part was hilarious, because there's a shot where kate is standing clumsily above anthony, with those annoying lingerie shorts covering half the screen, and...i could only think she must've climbed up on the settee??? i mean, it doesn't make sense otherwise. i remember i started laughing, because that's such a funny mental image??? and it just keeps being ridiculous because you can't figure out how they're standing/sitting!

logistics aside, why not have this moment happen during one of their morning park rides? and let's say they both return home super-flushed but everyone assumes it was due to the riding (hehe)? the park is a) more secluded, b) more meaningful to them. cuz the pretty bower where they hook up felt so random and exposed? like anyone could've walked by cuz it's practically in anthony's back yard. and sure, you can say they were reckless with passion but...idk, it still felt random to me.

i guess my last complaint is that, because it was so weirdly edited and put together, the sex scene lacked actual passion to me. it felt anticlimactic. it felt like talented actors going through the motions. you're telling me that after soooo many tension-filled scenes of them staring longingly at each other, when they finally get down to it we get no in-depth reactions? idk, some close-ups of their faces, an exchange of emotional looks when he's on top of her, anything! it's weird because they give us a lot of close-ups of random body parts, but they suddenly pan above them during the sex and the whole thing looks almost impersonal.

anyway lol, i'm sorry i'm pontificating over a sex scene, but this show kind of sells itself on the regency raunchiness, and it was kind of lacking here, not because it wasn't "raunchy" enough, but because the raunchiness wasn't allowed to play out, and the emotional aspect of it was so strangely muted, esp for a couple that seemed so intense.

[whumpiary]

cw: unkind family member made a comment trying to justify some horrible stuff

So this might be a big dumb ™ question, but I'm really not great with words out loud when I'm under a lot of emotion. It's why I'm a writer, I think; I write out my responses so much better than I could ever say them.

Someone in my family over their holiday visit spied on me reading a whump prompt, and after they quickly skimmed it, they made the most offhand, hurtful comment. I feel like a loser because I had 0 idea how to respond to it because my brain does a massive freeze response and locks completely up.

They said, "Oh, so you're fetishizing abuse now? Makes it perfectly cool then, I guess, to do _____ to someone."

I was so angry, all I could do was stumble out "No, that's not--no," and had to just leave and cry in the next room until they left. I wanted to explain that no; whump is something that helps me. I just...I didn't know what to say, or how to properly describe whump, and I almost want to reach out and explain it to them, but they're unfortunately the type of family member to side with all the wrong types of people. They're always saying something like this, it's just never been directly to me.

I think my question is, do you or a fellow whump writer have advice for how I might explain this to someone in the future, if not that particular person, that that's not what this is doing? That that's not what my fellow writers are doing? Because honestly, I've never been in a more supportive community than this, I love how whole I feel here, but I'm just struggling so much with not only the right way to explain it, but the guts to say it out loud.

I'm so sorry to bother you. I look up to you a lot. It's hard being in a trauma headspace a lot and formulating responses under pressure for me personally. Ughhhh. I'm asking anonymously because I'm too scared I'll be put on blast or something for 'not speaking up'. But thank you for reading. I support you and your work, and the entire whump community's work, so much. I hope everything's going well ♥️ You all really do inspire me.

This isn’t a dumb question at all. Thanks for writing me.

Cards on the table, it’s late in my time zone (Happy New Year, in fact!) so I may reblog again in the morning with more thoughts but it felt important to answer you tonight.

I see you and I hear you and I am sending you so much love. What your family member did was really shitty. (First, spying on something seemingly without your consent? Asshole move. Second, making you feel shit about something you like? Asshole love. Third, making you feel shit about something you made? Big asshole move.) I’m sorry you had to experience that.

First up: There’s nothing wrong with you for liking whump. There’s nothing wrong with you for reading it. There’s nothing wrong with you for writing it.

Liking and producing whump content doesn’t mean you condone abuse, and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. You’re okay.

You’re also not a loser for not being able to rattle off a perfectly reasoned response in a moment of confrontation. That shit is hard, even when you’re not running on trauma software. You’re not a failure or dumb for not having an answer for them. You’re just a human. Especially on a topic as complex as whump.

I don’t think anyone would “put you on blast” for not speaking up. We’ve all been there, whether on the topic of whump or not. Anyone who’s telling you that you need to be a champion defender of whump at all times is just as much of an asshole as your family member in my opinion. You need to look after you first.

Whump is more prolific than we acknowledge or people recognise sometimes, in my opinion. It’s very easy for people to watch a movie or read a book and know the creators aren’t condoning what they’re depicting, but people seem to find it more difficult when they know the artists personally (like your family member knows you, for example). Something that I do sometimes is make references to things that are well known. Like:

“Saving Private Ryan depicts war and I don’t think they’re glorifying war. It’s a way to explore different parts of humanity and I think that’s interesting”

“[insert TV show here] has a lot heavy themes as a way of exploring character and relationships. That’s what I’m doing here.”

“Horror movies depict violence and gore all the time and they’re rarely fetishising things. It’s a way to get people to face and explore their fears and anxieties in safe, entertaining ways.”

You can also check out the “defining whump” tag for some really great community commentary on the subject.

Here’s the other thing, though: You also just straight up don’t have to justify yourself. You can just shrug and ignore them. Their opinion, and I know this maybe doesn’t feel true, straight up doesn’t matter.

If your family member is anything like some of mine, they likely won’t be convinced to your side. I don’t know your family member, so maybe I’m wrong, but it sounds to me like they were wanting to pick a fight, not have a discussion with you. In which case, even a million well thought out points and arguments won’t help. They’re just in this to make you feel crappy. In those situations, sometimes it’s best to just say “that’s your opinion, I just gave a different view” and step away from the convo.

You know why you like whump. You know why you read it. You know why you write it. You know what you enjoy about it. You know you don’t condone abuse or violence. That’s all that matters. You don’t need a moral high ground to find joy or benefit in something. It’s all good.

I know this is easier said than done, but remind yourself of the community you love and the content you enjoy and let the comments be water off a ducks back. We’ve got you. We get you. Forget about the folks that don’t. They’ve got their plate full of their own shit and clearly don’t have the space for empathy right now.

We love you. We are you. You’re all good, mate.

Anyone who has some words of wisdom or love to send is welcome and encouraged to pile onto this post. I think Anon needs it.

(P.S I hope you get around to posting that prompt! If it prompted such a reaction from someone reading it, I bet it’s a doozy. I’d love to see it and I bet the rest of the community would too)