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#i'm also still...working a day a week at the previous job
honeygrahambitch · 1 day
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"Weird." Jack said aloud.
"What?"
The question came from Jimmy who was just pulling the body they were supposed to examine out of the freezer.
"Last Tuesday Dr. Lecter asked Will to come over to fix his washing machine. Then on Friday, he said that his car was making a weird noise and Will insisted on coming over to have a look at it. On Monday it was the oven. And yesterday?"
"Yesterday it was the fridge." Brian said.
"Do you not see a pattern?" Jack asked, a deep frown appearing on his forehead.
"I do." Jimmy replied. "You'd think that someone as rich as Hannibal would invest in high quality stuff. But everything seems to be breaking down these days."
"Must be a stressful time for him, it's always like that. When something stops working in your house, another ten things stop working too." Brian continued.
"Good thing Will is good at fixing stuff."
Beverly watched the conversation in a complete awe, as if she was trying to convince herself they could not be serious.
"Honestly, my wife has been nagging me to fix the hood in our kitchen for a month and I did not get to do it. I could ask Will." Jack said thoughtfully, any previous concern disappearing.
"So the three of you believe that Hannibal would ask Will to drive for an hour to Baltimore a few times a week only to fix stuff in his house?"
The three men turned to face her.
"Will is definitely fixing something but it's not kitchen appliances. That's all I'm saying." Beverly added.
"That's far fetched." Brian insisted. "Are you going to say that the times Hannibal visited Will to go on a fishing trip or to go hiking were excuses as well?"
"Can someone answer this for me?" Beverly asked definitely looking at Jack.
"Dr. Lecter is definitely not the guy to go out in nature."
The room fell quiet as if everyone was letting everything sink in. The silence was broken only when Will and Hannibal entered the lab. To say that all eyes were on them would have been an understatement.
"What?"
"Mrs. Crawford has been giving Jack a hard time because he won't fix the kitchen hood. And we were suggesting that he should ask for your help." Beverly said and bit her tongue in order to keep a serious face. She definitely did not miss the side eye she got from Jack.
"I could have a look." Will replied still creeped out by everyone's glances.
"No, we need to make sure you won't ruin it even more." Jimmy chipped in. "Say, Dr. Lecter, is Will doing a good job?"
To that, even Will turned his head towards Hannibal, waiting curiously for feedback.
Beverly could feel a metallic taste in her mouth because of how tightly she was biting her tongue at that point.
"Definitely. However I don't think I can share him, I still need some help with my dryer this week. And my kitchen sink. One of my porch lights is also making an unusual noise."
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umbra-speculum · 2 years
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I PROMISE I’M NOT DEAD
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theflyingfeeling · 10 months
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still sick but alive, unfortunately 🤧
#last morning when i got up i wasn't at all sure i'd live to see the release of deadzone lol#since then i've been able to walk and stand up somewhat normally without wanting to cry and/or die#last night i slept more than the two previous nights combined. which still isn't that much but at least i did sleep#i did also wake up so completely drenched in my own sweat (from mild fever going down after i had taken a painkiller for a headache)-#-that i had to get up and dry myself with a towel 😂#and there was a huge wet spot (of sweat) on my bed where i had lied 🙂#i have lost three fourths of my vocal range so i can't e.g. laugh#(not that i've had a whole lot to giggle about these past few days 💀)#i'm bummed out i can't do preparations for my new job#i definitely should've started earlier but i would've had plenty of time this week had i not caught the cold at the stupid festival 🤧#i did not plan this! besides i'm not gonna start working weeks ahead for a job i'm not even getting paid for yet#for the same reason no one can expect me to work while sick for a job i haven't gotten a single penny from#hell even if i WAS paid no one could expecte me to work while sick#so i shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to work on my fic instead of the course plans#which btw i already sort of have because my predecessors gave me practically ALL the material i might need#so all i reallly need to do is change the dates of the course plans and bob's your uncle#but i'd like to also study the material a bit before teaching it so that i'll at least seem like i know what i'm talking about 💀#mom said on the phone that i've managed situations like this before so i will manage this too and she's right i guess but 😭😭😭#but yeah i guess this is some sort of developement from last year when i had the 'rona-#-and felt awful about ordering food/groceries in because ''i don't want to be a bother'' 😂
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biteyoubiteme · 11 days
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late shift
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fem!reader x bangchan
synopsis: you and your virgin coworker Chan share a bed. 
warnings:🔞 !!! virgin!chan, whiny!chan, oral (m!rec), orgasm denial (m!rec), size kink if you squint, dom(ish) reader, praise, no protection, creampie, one bed trope, prob forgot some
wc: 3.77k
an: my first request! Thank you for submitting hope i did it justice lol also i lost the request i dont know where it went ;-; but i think i got everything you asked for
I used the line about ‘inviting someone back for ramen at your place’ synonymously with the term 'netflix and chill' I'm pretty sure that's the way the line is used in Korea. Correct me if I'm wrong lol. Anyways feedback appreciated :)) not proof read sorry! [m.list] 
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You've been at your current job for a few years and every other Friday you and your coworkers go out for a drink or dinner depending on how heavy the workload had been the previous weeks. This Friday was one of those times, only most of your coworkers had taken a work trip to help secure a big account. The office was basically empty around the end of the day now, only your office light and the office across the hall was on. Chan, the owner of the space in front of yours, could be seen typing on his computer through the glass, one of the few who had opted out of the trip to be able to leave earlier. Only both of you hadn't been leaving the office at reasonable times even if it had been promised. your days were still just as long only now you were picking up the other's work while they were gone. it was a shit deal but neither of you would complain, too shy to bring it up to your boss who did in fact keep his word on letting himself out early. 
rubbing at your eyes you power off your laptop after looking at the time. if you didn't leave now to catch a streetcar you would have to walk home and you were too drained to do that. you start to pack up your things and across the way, you can see Chan doing the same, probably set to move when you did. he was always nice enough to wait every night until you got off to walk you to the stop sign to wait for your ride before he went across the street to catch a streetcar headed in the opposite direction. even without your other coworkers, he was always smiling at you from across the way waving as you left to head home. 
As you slung your bag over your shoulder and headed to turn out the lights Chan was at the doorway giving a shy smile. “I'm a few seconds from collapsing on the floor and sleeping in my office,” 
“me too,” you flip off the lights, “and I'm starving I don't even think I have anything in my fridge,” 
Chan keeps pace with you as you make your way out of the building, reaching ahead of you to press the call elevator button “We could always keep the tradition going even if it's just the two of us, find a place for dinner?” 
“I don't know, not a lot of places are open at this hour and I want to eat on the couch and pass out,” you say hopping in after Chan when the elevator arrives. The space is small enough to have your elbows touching. Chan pressed the button for the lobby, “We could eat ramen at your place?” 
You are shocked to hear his suggestion and you assume he is too seeing at how he is bright red and stuttering, “No not like that- well kinda but just the food part- wait- I-,” he cuts himself off giving a flustered sigh, “I'm sorry i- we do not have to i'll just go home I'm sorry,” chan's rubbing at the back of his neck, ears red, eyes scrunched to avoid looking at anything at all because it would kill him to see your negative reaction. hell, it will kill him hearing you say no and push him away even if it was an innocent suggestion in the first place. he really didn't mean it that way he only wanted to hang out because he liked you and now he's gone and ruined that with a suggestion he didn't even fully intend to say in that way. 
Your giggle fills the silent elevator and you bump your shoulder against his arm, “It's okay Channie, it's definitely a perfect idea, ramen sounds so good, anything warm will send me straight to bed,” You find it cute how flustered he gets around the topic of sex. drinks out with coworkers leading to his confession months ago that he was inexperienced in bed, the flush on his cheeks as he begged the others not to ask him dirty questions. 
please you're joking Chan there is no way you haven't had sex yet! your defense of him that night only makes him like you more, who cares anyway? We should not be sharing bedroom talk with our coworkers. To know you are all kiss and tellers is an explanation enough as to why none of you get any when we go to bars. The conversation moved past Chan's Confession to laughs about how their coworkers had in fact picked up ladies from bars before. Chan had been thankful but the next morning when he remembered sharing he was a virgin in front of his crush was mortifying but you never brought it up again. 
you didn't really care that Chan was a virgin, finding out didn't make you like him any less than you already did. even if Chan had been asking to go back to your place to have sex you don’t think you would have turned him down. for as long as you worked in the office across from him you couldn't help but think about asking him out just the two of you but you had witnessed Chan turn someone down before in the breakroom. The way he smiled so sweetly as he said he didn't really like to date coworkers made you try and push the image of the two of you together away. you were friends and inviting him over was something friends did. 
“There is a convenience store across from my apartment, works out great,” you smile once you leave the elevator, “it won't be too late for you to head back home later?” 
“no northbound street cars run another lap, unlike the southbound ones I should make the last one,” the two of you ride to your place with polite small talk, and when you get off you cross the street to the store to pick up your dinner. 
It's the first time Chan has been in your small place, the one you haven't upgraded since you were in college because you didn't see the need for any more room but with Chan in the living room taking up most of the couch you wish you had. Both of you seated watching TV had your legs pressed together from the hip to the knee, his body heat overwhelmingly comfortable as you ate dinner. 
Neither of you realized you were beginning to fade, eyelids heavy as you tried to blink away sleep. When you realized you had dozed off, the TV was playing a movie that neither of you had put on, your head resting on Chan as he slumped over the armrest of the couch. you pick up your phone to check the time, the movement waking Chan up, “oh no it's so late,” you yawn pulling yourself up, “The last streetcar left an hour ago,” 
“shit,” Chan yawns, stretching out still in his button-up shirt, he had taken off his work coat when he came in but this was nothing he could sleep in. 
“it's okay you can stay but I have nothing for you to wear,” 
“I can walk it's okay-“
“You will not be walking all the way home. it's fine you can sleep in my bed I don't even think the couch is long enough for me to stretch out all the way,” 
“Then where will you sleep?” 
“the floor, it's okay,” you say waving him away to check to make sure your room is clean of clothes on the floor. you wave him over as he shakes his head, “No you're not sleeping on the floor in your own home, we can share I don't mind, or I'll Sleep on the floor,” 
“Fine, we can share,” You're too tired to argue, too tired to think about the fact that Chan is standing in the doorway as you turn around and pull out your oversized sleepshirt, shedding your work top and bra off. 
Chan is suddenly frozen fully awake watching you. He can only see your bare back turned to him, the image of your fingers unhooking your bra burned into his mind before you tug on the oversized shirt. but you're not done, the button of your work pants is undone, and at only sound in the room is the ripple of your zipper before you tug your pants down leaving you in your underwear. he cannot see them but he can see the outline through your white shirt, the black fabric hugging your ass as you pull the covers back to climb into the bed. “turn off the lights when you're ready,” your eyes already closed as you snuggle into the sheets. but Chan can't move. He is sure if you opened your eyes it would be very obvious that he was thinking about you lying in bed next to him almost naked. only two articles of fabric separating your completely naked form from him. 
he swallows the lump in his throat unbuttoning his work shirt, when it's gone he starts on his pants even taking them off to leave him in his underwear is enough to make him sigh. the pressure on his cock releasing just a bit but not enough to make him go soft. He's cursing at his body for making it so obvious he wants you. You're so natural at this, not even caring that he's climbing in bed next to you and he's a complete mess as he edges in on the far side of the bed trying not to make any contact at all as he turns the lamp off. 
in the dark, he tries to tell himself to calm down but it doesn't work, not when he can smell you on the sheets, when all he can think about is that if you touched yourself you would have to do it in this bed. 
You're not even thinking about anything besides falling asleep. You can hear Chan trying to get comfortable next to you, tossing and turning, the dip in the bed from his weight making you slide closer to him. you're barely touching him but he's gone still next to you, without thinking you roll your hips to try and pull away not wanting to make him uncomfortable but it does the opposite because you slide closer to him your ass pressed against his very prominent erection. 
if it wasn't for Chan's uneven breaths you would have thought he was asleep with how still and quiet he is. you wonder if you should pull away and ignore him, act like nothing was wrong, that you did not feel anything at all, and that you were asleep already and it was an accident. but the heat of him makes you wet, just the idea of rubbing back against him sends you into overdrive. you move your hips again to hear the soft whine Chan lets out, he's so close to your ear that it makes the sound amplified. 
Chan reaches out, his palm wrapping around your hip and you brush against him again. His whine is louder, a weak, “I'm Sorry,” mixed in with the sound. Chan's hips bump forward looking for more friction but you can tell he's trying to hold himself back with how hard he's holding you. “it's okay,” you whisper grinding back into his strained thrusts. 
“ill stop, I swear,” but he can't bring himself to listen to anything he says, the feel of your ass against him is so much better than when he ruts against his pillow at home. You're so warm, so firm, and he can't help himself. Chan's movements are jerky as he presses himself against you, the thin material of his underwear making him groan in annoyance. 
“You don't have to stop,” you mutter, encouraging him with each roll of your hips against him. “if you want I can use my hands,” 
The thought alone would have made Chan cum if he hadn't pulled himself away from you, rolling on his back and whining from denying himself. 
you sit up next to him, watching him squeeze his eyes shut, hair a mess on his forehead before he runs his hands through it grabbing the strands and pulling at them. He's panting hard, the rise and fall of his chest catching your attention. You've never seen Chan shirtless, you didn't know that underneath the suit he wears he is completely ripped. Your mouth waters with the need to lick him up and down, to kiss him, if he let you suck him off it would be a very good night. “If you don't want me to use my hands I could use my mouth,” Chan whines again, a weak thrust of his hips into the air at your words. you lean down until your lips are next to his ear, “If you don't want my mouth I could let you use me in other ways,” he's fully humping the air now, fists made in the sheets. 
“I don't- I've never…” he shakes his head finally opening his eyes. pupils were blown looking for you to understand, “I want to be good for you but I don't know how,” 
“I can show you,” your lips brushing his as you whisper it, “only if you want me to,” 
“I do!” he nods, “I want you, I've wanted you so fucking bad for too long,” 
you kiss him and he could shatter at the seams from finally getting to taste you. Chan has made out with people before, he knows he's a good kisser, what he's worried about is everything else. but with your lips on him, he's a little less worried. breaking the kiss you move to straddle his abdomen, kissing down his jaw as he throws his head back. He can't control his thrusts anymore, searching for friction where you're purposefully not giving him. “patience Channie,” you say between nips at his neck, his whines in response but you shake your head. “I know you're needy but it will feel better with foreplay,” 
he nods as you work down his collarbones, reaching his nipples as you slide down his body. you lick down his chest and abs, circling his navel and following a line down to his waistband. The cold air hits the line you've made down him and Chan moans at the feeling, goosebumps rising over his arms. He wants to touch you, peel your shirt away, and finally see more than just your bare back. almost as if you can read his thoughts you sit up placing your ass on his thighs before pulling off your shirt. nipples pebbling from the air, Chan's hands fisting the sheets so hard his knuckles are bloodless. 
“If you're good next time I'll let you lick me the way I did for you,” Chan whines almost painfully before you lean down moving back until you are face to face with his clothed bulge. already a dark spot on the fabric from his precum. “Let me know if you're about to cum okay?” 
Chan nods head lifting to watch as you lean forward and kiss over where he's straining in his underwear. his hips try to chase your mouth when you pull away and you tisk at him, “Patience Chan I shouldn't have to tell you twice,” 
“I can't help it,” he moans, your fingers hooked into the elastic around his waist pulling the fabric down his legs, his cock heavily slapping against his stomach. every vein prominent, ruddy tip swollen and begging to be kissed. you gather the spit in your mouth before letting it drop down against his length. If you are going to fit it in you're going to have to take the time to stretch yourself out so it won't hurt. For now, you wrap your hand around him, giving him a few shallow pumps, his moans of approval the only sound in the room. you let Chan thrust into your hand when he doesn't like your pace but you completely pull away when he says, “I'm going to cum im-“ he whines so loud at missing his release, your lips on his thigh as you use your hands to hold his hips back from coming up off the mattress. 
“no please, please I want to cum, please,” he begs, trying to rut in the air but you shake your head. 
“You have to wait pretty boy, you can hold out a little more right?” but he doesn't get to answer when you lick up his shaft, tongue swirling around his tip. 
Chan has never been so noisy in his life, he's never wanted, no needed, to cum so bad. when you fully take him into your mouth he sees spots in his vision, the coiling in his pelvis intensifying. he doesn't want to tell you but like you're sucking the words right out of him he whimpers, “cumming im-,” but it's ripped away from him again and he's on the verge of tears. he won't be able to last any longer not like this, when every brush of your fingers on him makes him twitch. he lets go of the death grips he has on the sheets pushing himself up be rolls the two of you over. 
you're shocked as he pins you down, his face pressed into your neck whimpers tickling your skin. “please, can I cum inside you?” his cock is rubbing against your covered center, and he can feel that the fabric is wet with your arousal, knows he must be doing something right when your soft moans come every time he rubs against your clit. 
you nod knowing you won't be able to say no to him, not when you want him this bad. “take my panties off,” Chan listened, not waiting a moment to follow your order. when they are gone he's stopped by the sight of you. laid out for him glistening, you reach down using two of your fingers to make a v pushing open more of yourself so he can see. Chan watches as you drag your fingers through your wetness, and whines as he watches you dip a finger into your entrance.“you listen so well Channie if you keep listening I'll let you taste me,” 
chans weak in the knees at your words, he wants nothing more than to please you, to hear you say nice things to him over and over, to finally let him sink into your warm heat. “please,” it's so quiet you almost miss it. 
“Grab your cock in your hand,” he does as you say, “then lean over me and run the length of you in my wetness kinda like you were doing before okay?” he nods and when he plants his hand next to your head he looks down to watch what he's doing. both of you moaning as he rubs against your clit, he could just stop here, he knows just this will make him cum without a second thought but you won't let him. “drag your tip down until it catches if you miss ill help you, okay?” 
but Chan doesn't need your help, the head of his cock prodding your entrance, his hips jerking knowing he's so close to feeling all of you, “you're doing so good,” you hum brushing your fingers through his hair, “slowly push in I won't be able to take it all unless you go slow,” 
Chan pushes in following your instructions. he's hardly in when he's shaking, you feel so fucking good, warm, and just right. he will never be able to imagine taking you while he's alone again, his hand won't cut it anymore, not after this. 
his moan is guttural as he fully seats himself inside you, your hips meeting his. chans so deep you can swear he's touching your womb, your hands wrap around his shoulders, both of you catching your breath, “you have to move slow, warm me up a little before you can trust harder,” Chan nods but he doesn't know if he will be able to last long enough to make himself go any faster. Your warm walls feel so fucking good he could cum without moving at all, but he slowly pulls out before sinking back in. You're so wet it's easy to find a steady pace. 
“Just like that Channie,” you moan and Chan whines at the praise, he wants to be perfect for you, as perfect as you've been for him and he can't control himself, his hips sinking hitting you deeper than you felt before. 
you moan loudly as he brushes your gummy stop making you see stars, “your hand, use your hand on my clit,” you whimper and when Chan's fingers find the perfect spot he feels you clench around him. he gives a shocked moan not realizing you could feel any better, his orgasm so close he presses his fingers harder against you, your shocked gasp music to his ears. you didn't think you would cum seeing as it was his first time but you're right on the cusp when you hear his pants, “I'm going to cum, please, I need to cum, let me cum in you,” he begs eyes watching where the two of you connect. 
“you've been so good to me,” your words making his stomach flex, balls tightening, and you can feel him twitch inside you, “cum for me Channie,” 
he cries out as he finishes, hot ropes of cum spilling inside you making you follow right after him. The fluttering of your cunt makes him whine sinking in deeper letting his body weight fall on you as he pumps more cum deep inside you. 
never has he cum so hard or this much, never did he think it would feel this amazing. 
Chans is lying on top of you, both of you sweaty and panting. your fingers comb his hair back from his forehead, scratching his scalp until he's humming. you can feel his softening cock inside you, his hips twitching every once in a while. Neither of you moves, only enjoying the feel of each other. “Did you mean what you said?” Chan asks and you scrunch your brows. “what?” 
“about next time? that there would be a next time.” 
you giggle pressing a kiss to his cheek, “Yes if you're good there will be a next time,” but you can feel Chan twitch inside you already growing hard again. 
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brehaaorgana · 6 months
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ADHD money/budgeting system I'm currently using for my benefit is going well (I've been using it for like half a year now?), and I wanna recommend it.
You Need a Budget is EXCELLENT. 10/10 do recommend. Uhhh rambling about it and my generic disclaimers + gushing extensively under the cut but TL;DR I think it's great for ADHD ppl, I've used it for 6+ months now and I find it super SUPER helpful. also weirdly fun.
DISCLAIMERS:
Budgeting helps you understand/know your money, it can't make money appear where there is none.
Everyone should learn to budget even if you don't have much money (especially then)
This is NOT a magic trick solution. Just like everything else, it is an assistive tool. This is one of those adult things we can't simply opt out of without negative consequences, though.
My advice is based on something I am currently able to do. That is, I can spend an amount of money on this specific thing that works well for me. If you have no extra money to spend then previously I was tracking things in a notebook. So you can still do this.
I believe Dave Ramsey is a fundie fraud/hack and no one should listen to him about money.
DID YOU KNOW THEY CANCELLED MINT???
Okay? OKAY.
Ahem.
You Need a Budget is EXCELLENT.
It is called YNAB for short. The first 34 days are your free trial, and that is my referral link. If anyone uses it and then signs up for a subscription, we both get a month free. Also you can share a subscription with up to six people (account owner can see everything but individuals can pick and choose what they share amongst each other) so like...idk your whole polycule can be on one account. Or your kids. Whatever.
If you are a student, it's free for a year. If you aren't, a subscription is $99 for a year (paid all at once) or $14.99 monthly, which is equivalent to paying Amazon prime. Go cancel Prime and get this instead tbh.
They got a whole article just on ynab and ADHD. They also have like...a big variety of ways to access their info? They have a book, podcast episodes, YouTube videos, blog posts, q&A's, free live workshops you can join (you can request live captioning), emails they can send (if you want) a wiki, and so on. They got workshops on all kinds of topics!!
So whatever ends up working for your brain. It also has a matching app.
If you lost Mint this year they have a gajillion things for moving from Mint.
Also they have a "got five minutes?" Page which has a slider so you can decide how much attention/time you have before going on lol:
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They only have 4 rules of the budget, they're simple and practical, and it doesn't get judgey or like...mean about your spending.
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1. Give every dollar a job 2. Embrace your true expenses 3. Roll with the punches 4. Age your money.
THEN THEY BREAK THESE DOWN INTO SMALL STEPS FOR YOU! They even have a printable! Also these rules are great because there's built in expectations that things WILL HAPPEN and it's NOT all or nothing with a fear of total collapse into failure. Reality and The Plan don't always align, especially if you have ADHD. So it's directing our energy towards the true expenses and not clinging to The Plan!! over reality.
You can automate a lot of shit (you can sync with your bank accounts just like mint, but also automate tagging the categories of regular expenses/transactions). And if for whatever reason you accidentally do something that makes the budget look weird or wrong:
A) you can usually fix it somehow OR b) they have like, a button you can press that gives you a clean slate and archives the previous version of the budget for you.
So if you forget for a few weeks or months, or accidentally input something wildly wrong, or just don't want to look at a really terrible month anymore and feel like you need a fresh start you can usually either fix it or start fresh which is really nice.
The app also (for whatever reason) scratches my itch to have things like...have incentives or little game-like goals in a way mint never did? I don't know why. Filling up the bars or putting money into the categories to cover my expenses is satisfying lmao. You can also make a big wish expense category for all the fun shit you want, and fund it whenever you can and then you can see the little bar go up and that's fun.
Anyways I've been using it for like 6+ months now and I think it's really helped me when I use it.
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neptuneiris · 6 months
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Behind the Scenes (04/05)
Behind the Acceptance
pairing: actor!aemond × fem!reader
summary: there are new changes for you and Aemond, he wants to rectify himself for past mistakes and you get used to your new life with the father of your son present.
word counter: 10.2K (consider it as a christmas gift, love you all❤)
previous part • next part • series masterlist
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I'M SO SORRY!
i know the wait has been too much and you don't know how sorry i am. i experienced stress during my last week of uni before leaving for vacation and i got a new job, which consumes my time and i couldn't edit or do any writing, but i managed to find small times to write and that's why it's taken me so long. i appreciate your understanding, really🥺
I would like to wish you all merry christmas and a happy new year, my best wishes to all of you and also to your families, have a great time and God bless you all beautiful people, you are amazing and truly thank you for so much🥰
now yes, enjoy!
warnings: aemond dad melting our hearts and that's it:)
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When Aemond told you to please go back to work and stop running away so that the two of you could face all this together, you didn't quite understand what he meant by 'go back to work'.
However, the next morning after waking up and starting to prepare breakfast for Aenar, you received an unexpected call that answered your question.
It's an unknown number so you accept the call with some caution.
"Y/N speaking? This is Michelle Watson, from the Warner Bros studio production department," she says and your heart jumps.
"Hello?"
You speak on the other end of the line, holding your phone to your ear.
It's HBO, who Aemond is working with right now and where you left your job thrown after unexpectedly meeting him again.
Nerves soon set in and you hold your breath, already feeling ashamed for leaving the shooting set like that without saying anything to anyone and creating a complete circus the moment Aemond called your name in the trailer in front of everyone.
"Yes, she speaks," you reply nervously.
"We want to inform you that despite what has happened, we understand it and the circumstances that led you to leave unexpectedly during your working hours," she tells you in a soft and formal voice, "And we will expect you tomorrow without any problem to resume work."
You frown completely, hesitate a little and blink several times in disbelief, not quite understanding.
"I'm sorry… what do you mean by resuming work?" you ask, barely able to contain your own surprise and disbelief.
"Some conversations took place," she explains, "Mr. Targaryen was quite insistent on convincing the production team to reconsider your situation. He advocated on your behalf, explained the circumstances and your entire track record as an excellent professional makeup artist so that you could continue to work with us."
With your lips parted and your eyes wide open, you are speechless for a moment, staring at a spot in your living room with your heart pounding, definitely not expecting to hear any of this after everything that has happened on this day.
You didn't even expect Aemond to decide to do this for you after everything that happened with him and Criston.
And just when you were starting to worry about how you were going to pay the rent for this apartment and even started to make a schedule in your mind to go get a job somewhere else tomorrow or even today.
"So if there's no problem and everything is fine with you, we'll expect you tomorrow at 7:00 A.M."
Completely speechless.
You can't even control your own heart rate.
But in spite of that, you can't help but feel a huge relief run through your entire body, where you still feel overwhelmed by the generosity and gesture of trust they are offering you, but you definitely feel completely relieved and grateful.
"Yes, yes, of course," you hasten to say, trying to control your emotions, "I'll be there. Thank you so much."
They give you a few more details, you ask few more questions and finally end the call, which leaves you with mixed emotions as you silently contemplate that you still have this new possibility of a better life for you and Aenar.
But you also think about Aemond.
And you will also wait to see how Aemond's integration into your son's little life will be now.
You really appreciate this gesture, you know that only he can do something like this with his influence and connections.
And in fact it gives you the confidence that he will keep his word that no one else will interfere in your and Aenar's life, only the two of you will make the decisions.
Arriving at the recording set, you leave Aenar in the nursery and then you enter the corridors of the whole big production, which is buzzing with its usual atmosphere with its twinkling lights, technical equipment with the huge cameras, microphones and all the sets ready.
You honestly feel nervous knowing that tomorrow you and Aemond will be working in the same place again, like in the old days.
But that's why you try to be as prepared as possible and you won't let all kinds of personal matters interfere with your work.
And once you arrive, you take a moment, take a deep breath and push open the door, where that familiar atmosphere once again envelops you.
You don't even know why but your heart is pounding as you walk down the halls and every step leads you to your area, the makeup and wardrobe trailer.
You assume it's out of shame after what happened yesterday.
Unfortunately your entrance doesn't go unnoticed and as you close the door behind you as you walk just a little into the trailer, some curious faces turn to see you, including Jess, who stops her usual routine and rushes over to you, her eyes wide with surprise.
You hug her back gently, feeling relieved and less tense by the warm welcome from Jess who, even though the two of you don't know each other very well, she actually seems like a very nice person and her personality shows you that.
"Ah Y/N, what a relief to see you again!"
She exclaims with her tone full of joy.
"God, I thought you wouldn't come back," she says as she hugs you excitedly, providing you with some comfort.
"I'm so sorry about yesterday," you say with a regretful gesture and you both break the hug, "I shouldn't have left like that and you don't know how embarrassed I feel. I'm really sorry."
"Oh no, don't worry about it," she assures you instantly, making a nonchalant gesture, "That's all in the past. The important thing is that you're back and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it," she comforts you with a small smile, "We have a lot of work to do today and we need to get you up to speed right away."
Jess, full of energy, ushers you further into the trailer while you greet your other co-workers. Then she explains the day's itinerary precisely, pointing out schedules, wardrobe changes and other important details.
All the while you nod, thanking her for her guidance and trying to keep up. In the midst of all the preparations, the huge door opens again and Aemond is now the one who makes his presence known.
Your gaze meets his and you see the obvious and unexpected surprise in his eyes at seeing you again, but there's not much reaction from either of you as instantly the makeup artists call him over and guide him to start prepping him for today's filming scenes.
And Jess also takes your arm, guiding you to the back of the trailer where the dressing rooms are located explaining what you will be doing, forcing you to look away from him.
And you can only feel Aemond's gaze on you until he loses sight of you.
Jess continues to explain to you, but you can't help but think and wonder certain things, like if everyone here, even Jess, knows about you and Aemond... what you once were and that you have a child together.
The behavior of both of you yesterday was very obvious, that's what you would think if you were an expectant one, so surely there must be some speculation.
And at that moment you remind yourself that your priority right now is your work and that the personal should be kept out of your work environment, so you shouldn't even think about it.
Finally you focus on following Jess's directions, putting aside distractions and preparing for the day.
Jess leaves you alone to take care of her own work and you start with yours, where you spend about an hour still in the back of the trailer, where you check and prepare the costumes that already have to be ready for the scenes that will be filmed soon.
When in the middle of everything, you hear some footsteps approaching behind you and thinking it must be one of the other actors or one of your co-workers, you turn around and the first thing you notice is that silver hair.
Aemond enters this section of the trailer a little unsure, without saying anything, while you also watch him without saying anything.
He is ready to record his scenes with that scar on the left side of his face that his character has and he only lacks the costume.
Until finally he speaks first.
You knew that having a conversation with him again would happen soon, so you're not surprised.
But for a moment there is a tense silence and a slight nervousness and insecurity on the part of both of them, where a clash of emotions is reflected in each other's gazes.
"Hey," he says in a soft, low voice, taking a couple of steps towards you.
You try to smile a little in his direction, not knowing exactly what to say or what to do.
"Hey," you wave back.
There is an awkward pause before Aemond again takes the initiative, taking a few cautious and slow steps towards you.
You bite your lips and lower your gaze for a moment, as he puts a hand to the back of his neck and looks so insecure and nervous standing there, surprising you a bit, as that behavior in him is unusual.
He usually always has that confident attitude in everything he says and does.
"I'm glad you're back," he admits to you, his low tone full of sincerity, "It's good to see you around again."
His words and that friendly gesture take you a bit by surprise, and although you still feel overwhelmed by the unexpected situation, you appreciate the way he is leading in handling all of this to start working together for Aenar's well-being, leaving past tensions behind.
"Thank you," you reply, feeling that sense of relief in your chest again, "Oh, hum… and thank you for talking to production so I could come back," you say a little shyly but gratefully, "You didn't have to."
He lets out a scoff in a nonchalant and also absurd gesture, frowning slightly his nose and forehead.
"Please, it was the least I could do," he tells you softly and with a warm tone, "Besides, it was nothing. I was just afraid you'd decide not to come back."
You hum in understanding.
"I thought about that," you confess to him, lowering your gaze for a moment, "But things were going to be easier for both of us with Aenar if I came back here," you explain, "Still, it was a very kind gesture of you."
Aemond nods, his gaze conveying a mixture of emotions that reflect both relief to see you back here, understanding, and also regret for the past that still haunts him. But he doesn't let those thoughts invade him too much at that moment.
Again there is silence in between for a few seconds, when he speaks again.
"How is Aenar?" he asks in a voice charged with a mixture of happiness, nostalgia and longing for his son.
"He's fine," you say in a soft voice, "He's in the studio nursery. Mary takes very good care of him," you add, wanting to reassure him that his son is being properly cared for.
He nods slowly, humming in response, trying to hide the intensity of his emotions in his gaze.
"That's good, I'm glad to hear that," he replies, vulnerability in his tone and gaze.
The air between the two of you still lingers, charged with emotions that neither of you dares to express openly. However, taking advantage of the conversation, Aemond decides to propose something.
He just met him yesterday and can't wait to see him again, to be in his company.
Yesterday's hours were simply not enough. And knowing that his son is well brings him relief and a feeling he hasn't experienced before since he found out he is a father.
"If you want, I can pay for a trusted babysitter for him," he offers and this gets your full attention, "I'm just saying… so you don't always have to bring him with you to work," he says with a hesitation, his tone betraying his insecurity about his proposal.
You remain silent for a moment, not knowing what exactly to say, in fact processing the unexpected offer. And Aemond can't help but feel even more unnerved by your silence.
"I-I… I don't know," you murmur, hesitant.
This nursery in the set is at least in the same place as you and that gives you relief that whatever happens, you can rush to him right away.
The idea of a babysitter strikes you as a mixture of relief and concern.
In the morning you'd have more time getting ready to come to work and it wouldn't be as much of a burden on you, yet you've never left someone to take care of Aenar while you're away.
But leaving him at home and coming all the way here to work, that causes you hesitation, besides the fact that you have to know the person who will take care of your child perfectly, as well as have confidence in her, above all.
"Only if that makes you feel more comfortable," Aemond adds softly, "But if that's not what you want, that's fine."
You bite your lips, feeling uneasy at the thought of someone else caring for your son and having him away when you're working.
"And you know someone who might be trustworthy?" you ask attentively and still with hesitation in your gaze.
"Yes," he tells you immediately, softly, "Rhaenyra has an army of babysitters to take care of my younger nephews. I can ask her for help with that and I know she'll say yes," he assures you.
"And they are professional babysitters?"
"Yeah, yeah, Nyra is also very careful with the selection and the babysitters she has hired have years of experience and so far several of them have worked with her for a few years now."
And after a moment's reflection, you agree.
And as convincing as the information is, still a mixture of worry and resignation envelopes your body.
But you knew that sooner or later you would have to face the situation of balancing your job with the responsibility of caring for your little one, accepting the idea that you won't always be able to have him with you.
"All right," you nod to him, "But I'd like to do some interviews first."
"Yeah, of course. I'll take care of that, don't worry," he says softly, nodding to you and you nod back.
"Thank you, Aemond."
"You don't have to thank me, Y/N, it's for our son. And if he or you need anything, please just let me know."
Seeing Aemond so willing to be a present father and his desire to be involved in his son's life, to some extent relieves you and surprises you a little, clearly because of what happened at first when you found out you were pregnant.
But so far… he has really shown you that he wants to be present and without having Criston and all his team around anymore.
The slight tension in the air is felt again as you and he continue to navigate the terrain of this new dynamic, which feels a little weird and you feel very nervous, though you don't even know why, while he at all times seems unsure.
And in an attempt to diffuse the tension, now you're the one who speaks first.
"Okay," you nod, "And if you…" you try to say a little nervously and with some caution and insecurity, "If you want to go see Aenar at the nursery or even at the apartment, you can," you assure him with a soft tone, "I never said you couldn't visit him and I don't plan to take that right away from you."
Vulnerability is reflected both in your words and in Aemond's expression, who with his soft face and with his gaze full of various emotions, places a small gentle smile on his lips.
"I'd love that."
Your words mean more to him than you probably realize. That sincere gesture of openness on your part, Aemond deeply appreciates.
Just as he appreciates that the conversation has reached a level of understanding and cooperation that neither of you had anticipated, but that you definitely appreciate. It doesn't end there yet, though.
"Can I ask you something?"
You nod, with no problem.
"Sure."
"What will you be leaving work on when your shift is over with Aenar?" he tells you interested and attentive.
"Um… well, yesterday I took the bus," you explain, considering that just yesterday was supposedly your first day, "And I had already planned that if I finished late, I'd take an Uber. Like now in the morning I was running a little late and took an Uber," you reply, trying to explain your transportation routine.
In fact there is nothing wrong with moving this way, many people do it, besides you don't have many options.
But that's what Aemond doesn't want, he wants to make your life a little easier, especially since Aenar lives with you and he doesn't want to risk something bad happening to both of you one day with public transport.
"Well, if you want, I can take the two of you," he also offers without hesitation, "Or if it seems too much, I can ask my driver to pick you up and take you wherever you need to go, without problem," he assures you, "I just don't want you to move that way with Aenar or by yourself."
This new unexpected offer from Aemond also surprises you, that you even think about turning him down, telling him it's not necessary.
Mostly you see it from Aenar's safety side.
But his concern is genuine and also you know that then moving you will start to be a problem.
You know you can't afford Uber every day, the fares aren't exactly cheap and there are other needs you have to take care of, besides taking the bus late could be dangerous.
"Well…" you look at him hesitantly and a little embarrassed, "You won't have a problem with that?"
"No, of course not," he answers you instantly.
You nod in his direction, grateful for his consideration.
"Yes, it's fine and seriously thank you for this too," you can't help but say, "Sometimes transport is complicated."
"Don't worry, it's fine."
He is about to say something else when a third voice interrupts him, entering the same space as you.
"Yeah, I know, sorry, I'm already on it," he assures her instantly.
"Aemond, are you ready now?"
Enters one of your co-workers, watching him intently and instantly with concern at the sight of him still in his civilian clothes.
"For God's sake, why aren't you dressed yet? Your scene is going to shoot in less than fifteen minutes!"
"I'll be back in ten minutes. Hurry up, please," the worried girl says and hurries away.
You instantly at that moment decide that the two of you can talk later and hand him his clothes from the scene he'll be shooting soon and he thanks you, heading for one of the small dressing rooms quickly.
When he finishes putting on his clothes, you quickly help him look perfect for filming the scene.
"I'll be seeing you," he tells you before leaving and you nod.
"Sure."
And from that moment on, over the next few days, everything changes as much for Aemond as it does for you.
He kept his word to drive you and Aenar back home every time your shift ended. And if he was still filming scenes, he would send his driver to take you instead of him, also to bring you in the mornings.
The relationship is cordial and collaborative and while there is no romantic reconciliation involved, there is a determination to build a more stable and secure future for Aenar, as well as prioritizing his well-being above all else.
At work, too, the dynamic between the two of you changes completely. Communication is professional, as it should be, but in every interaction there is a complicity that seems to have evolved.
There is a quiet understanding, a new focus on cooperation and mutual respect that is taking shape.
Also Aemond kept his word to hire a fully trusted babysitter and while he took care of that, sometimes you found him in the nursery with Aenar, keeping him company and playing with him.
At first this caused you some noise and also confusion, since Aemond is under the public eye spending quality time with his son and doesn't bother to hide it, so you wondered if already everyone working here, also Aemond's co-workers, knows that he has a son with you.
Again that sight couldn't help but make you smile with a certain nostalgic look, watching the interaction of those two silver-haired heads in their own world.
But it made you feel happy to see your little boy laughing and playing with his father.
And if so, you doubt that it will come out soon, because working in this production of whatever position, there is a confidentiality contract for everything, even for the personal life of the actors.
But when the shooting of this show is over, everyone is probably going to know about it. Although it seems that Aemond doesn't even think about it and doesn't really care.
So you decide not to ask him anything about it and how Criston and his whole team is going to take it.
You honestly don't know what Aemond has done with him, what they have talked about and what exactly happened for him to leave you and Aenar alone.
And you don't want to know. You've had enough of him and everything he did to you. And fortunately you live in peace and feel safe to have Aemond on your side this time.
And before you can say anything, Aemond steps forward with a soft little smile.
When one day on your day off you find yourself making dinner while Aenar watches his favorite cartoon in the living room and you supervise him occasionally from where you are, there's a knock at the door.
You're traumatized with the thought that maybe it's Criston and something bad is going to happen, but when you open the door you find Aemond with a woman by his side.
"Hey."
"Hi," you try to smile, a little confused.
"Are you busy? I-I didn't know and thought I'd just come over," he says, "And I'd let you know but I don't have your number or-or something."
"No, no, it's fine, I'm just making dinner," you hasten to say.
"I came because I wanted to introduce you to Elinda Massey," he tells you, pointing to the woman next to him and she looks at you with a warm smile, "One of the babysitters Rhaenyra recommended to me to take care of Aenar."
"Oh," you nod, now understanding.
You watch Elinda and she radiates warmth and assurance in her gaze, instantly feeling comfortable with her presence.
"It's nice to meet you, Elinda," you say with a small smile, extending your hand to her.
"Same to you, Y/N," she replies, shaking his hand with yours, "Aemond has told me so much about you and Aenar. I'm very excited to meet him as well."
Aemond beside her nods, his expression calm.
"Elinda is professional and very experienced. I wanted to introduce you to her and thought maybe we could do a little interview together, just to get to know her and see how she gets along with Aenar."
You instantly nod again.
"Oh yeah, yeah, sure, come on in," you step aside, allowing them to pass, "Aenar is watching his favorite cartoon," you say as you close the door behind you.
Aemond instantly walks towards him, making a sound of surprise, catching his attention and Aenar instantly notices him, smiling big at the sight of him, his huge blue eyes lighting up and reaching out his little arms towards him.
Both you and Aemond know Elinda better and you realize that she is a woman who has all the necessary experience and training. Besides the fact that when she approaches Aenar, he instantly laughs and plays with her.
Aemond laughs and takes him in his arms, starting to leave a bunch of kisses on his huge chubby cheeks, making him laugh as he holds him against his chest and speaks to him in a honeyed tone.
And you again can't help but smile as you watch the scene.
There is still that feeling of worry in you knowing that you will have to leave Aenar in someone else's care.
But Elinda shows you so much in so few hours, she tells you about her experience, shows you letters of recommendation, first aid certificates, as well as other care and Aenar has fun with her.
Aemond stays a few more moments in Aenar's company, playing games and watching the cartoons he likes, while you finish dinner and cleaning the kitchen.
The three of you establish a work schedule for her, as well as you tell her some recommendations and observations regarding Aenar.
And once everything is ready and clarified, she leaves and Aemond tells you that he has already taken care of all the payment details with her.
Every now and then you hear how Aemond asks him questions in a honeyed tone and repeats the same expressions he does when he sees his favorite character on TV, and then both start laughing.
Those sounds, the sound of your son's laughter and also Aemond's expressions, unconsciously make you smile and you watch from the kitchen as Aemond makes funny gestures or faces to make him laugh and attacks him with a lot of kisses all over his face or tickles.
Then you walk him to the door once he is ready to leave.
And there the two of them make themselves comfortable on the couch, eventually Aenar falls asleep on Aemond's lap, his back and head against his chest. He cautiously gets up holding him gently and puts him to sleep, while you thank him.
"Oh, right, I almost forgot," he says stopping in front of the door and turns to you, "This is for you."
You see him take his wallet from his back pocket and inside it, he pulls out what appears to be a black card and holds it out to you. This catches your attention and also confuses you, taking the card with that confusion, not understanding.
And only when you take a good look at it in your hands do you realize that it is a bank card.
"It's yours."
He says and you frown more, then raise your gaze to him asking for an explanation.
"I can only send money to it, I don't have direct access. You'll get the PIN from the bank, tomorrow after the shoot, I'll take you to activate it," he tells you, "You know, it's in case you need money to buy something for Aenar or for you, whatever you need."
Then when you fully understand the explanation and the purpose of this, you start to panic.
"Aemond—
You try to say feeling the lump in your throat and your heart starting to pound.
"I know I didn't tell you about this, but please, I want to do it," he interrupts you with a pleading tone so you won't reject him or reproach him about it, "Besides, this is necessary. Sometimes I will have to travel to other cities for shootings or events and I won't be able to see you or him and I want to make sure you don't lack anything. So just accept it, please."
"But—
"Please," he insists.
This really seems too much to you and you have an idea of the amount of money the card must already have. And no… in spite of everything, you don't want to accept this and feel that you are taking advantage of him.
You watch him still with hesitation and worry on your face, tension hanging in the air as you and he stand in complete silence, saying nothing for a few seconds.
You look back down at the card in your hands and Aemond follows your gaze, both of you standing face to face.
And it just seems that Aemond reads your thoughts by the hesitation and insecurity on your face.
"If you don't want to use it to also buy things for yourself, use it just to buy Aenar whatever he needs," he tells you softly, "After all, I was going to do this sooner or later, wasn't I? It's my responsibility to make sure he doesn't lack anything and that's what I'm going to do."
You let out a long breath, beginning to feel less of the weight of the luxurious and clearly exclusive black card in your hands, with his words beginning to soften your chest at the mention of Aenar.
"Fine," you mutter finally, letting out a sigh and raising your gaze to him, "B-but I'll only use it for things that Ae-
This gesture from Aemond is a clear sign of concern and responsibility he feels towards you and his son. And you truly feel that genuine desire that he wants to contribute for the welfare of both of you.
You try to clarify but he quickly speaks up.
"Yeah, okay," he nods at you, "Don't worry. Just… use it."
You nod again.
"Thank you, Aemond."
A slight flicker of concern appears in his gaze and he quickly tries to be able to struggle to find the right words to be able to explain himself so you don't misunderstand him.
"I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to—
"No, no, I don't think so," you tell him softly, with understanding, "This…" you look back down at the card in your hands and let out a sigh, "This is actually necessary and very helpful…. you really don't know how much I appreciated it."
He nods, his expression relieving a bit as he sees your behavior and also as you accept his support.
"Easy, it's okay," he assures you in a soft murmur.
"Also…" he starts to say with some nervousness but definitely more confident, "I wanted to ask you if you have social security for Aenar and you," he says with a serene expression, looking directly at you.
Again silence settles between the two of you but the air is different, calmer and less tense, feeling the mutual understanding.
And Aemond, after the two of you say nothing for another long few seconds, thinks it best to talk at this point about another plan he has in mind.
This also immediately catches your attention and you watch him warily, tilting your head to one side and starting to get an incredulous look on your face.
"You're not seriously thinking that—
"Y/N, please," he interrupts you, "This is no problem for me, really," he insists, "I just need to know."
"But—
"This is also important and I can pay for it."
"But it's a lot of money and I don't think—
"Do you really think I'll let you and Aenar go through life without being covered?" he asks you incredulously, "I can handle this. I really can."
His words continue to reflect that genuine commitment and you, despite your concern, feel something warm invade your chest, especially the gentle and willing way he is looking at you.
After all that has happened, seeing Aemond so determined to contribute to your son's well-being gives you a new hope and opportunity for Aenar's future.
The costs are too much, nothing you could really afford, not even for Aenar, since your salary was not much and had to cover other needs. You couldn't even afford it on your current salary.
You have always worked very hard to try to give Aenar everything he needs. Among them, paying for a social insurance for him, in case of anything.
But you could never afford it.
And that suddenly Aemond is offering it to you so easily, clearly because he can afford it, you feel somewhat overwhelmed and also feel that it is too much.
"And you're completely—
"Yes, I am," he interrupts you again, being very clear and honest with you, "This won't be any trouble, really," he assures you.
You want to tell him thank you, but the words get stuck in your throat. However, Aemond sees the gratitude is visible in your gaze, along with your concern and how you find yourself overthinking it.
So he just gives you a look of understanding and total reassurance.
"I'll be leaving. You need to rest. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
You let out a long breath, bite your lips and nod in his direction.
"Okay."
"Good night," he says softly as he opens the apartment door again.
"Good night. Drive safe."
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Lately the days have been more… peaceful.
But as the days progressed, you realized that it was useless to feel that way because when you returned to the apartment, everything was absolutely fine. And also everything is easier when you transport yourself with Aemond's help or with the help of his driver.
Having Elinda as a babysitter, your mornings are easier and she does an excellent job with Aenar, so you have nothing to worry about.
At first you would leave home feeling horrible and your whole body tense, always alert to your phone and exaggeratedly paranoid.
Aemond also one day told you the same thing, that lately things have been quiet, even the recordings have not been heavy for him compared to other days or other jobs.
And for the same reason that he is busy filming, he hasn't attended any events or interviews, that happens rather after he finishes filming a new show or movie and there is still time left for that.
Aemond drives in silence and the soft background music on low volume fills the entire interior of the car while you watch the city through the windows and Aenar sleeps secured in one of the back seats.
So on this one day and for one occasion only, Elinda had an important commitment that she couldn't postpone, so she didn't show up for work and you didn't have any problem, since you can bring Aenar to the nursery on the set.
And now it is Aemond who is driving them home after your shift ended almost at the same time he finished filming his scenes.
He and you haven't talked much during the whole drive, only about work, but even so the silence is comfortable and you can't wait to get home to cook a nice dinner.
The cityscape soon transforms into familiar and somewhat… careless streets, as you approach to your apartment.
He parks in front of your building and watches you.
You know this isn't a luxurious area and there's a lot of detail to look at, but it's what you can afford right now.
And that's just what Aemond thinks as he looks around the neighborhood, hating to leave you and Aenar here when he can get you a much better place. But he knows you'll say no.
"Will you stay here any longer?" he asks you softly, "I mean, will you continue to pay rent?"
"For now yes," you nod to him, "I'm saving up to move to a better place, to an apartment in a different area and that's close to work," you let him know, "It's just taking time because of my paycheck."
Aemond stares at you intently for a moment, thinking and pondering your words, with a thoughtful look on his face, while you make sure you have all your belongings with you before getting out of the car and carrying Aenar.
And just as he is about to speak, a familiar sound interrupts him and his son's crying is heard throughout the car.
You follow him too with all your things in hand, walking over to both of them.
You quickly turn to him to attend to him, trying to calm him down, while Aemond reacts and quickly gets out of the car to open the door to the back seats.
It takes him a little while to unfasten the seat belts, but once he's finished he takes him in his arms and whispers comforting words in his ear to make him stop crying.
"Shh, my little one," Aemond whispers, holding him against his chest and stroking his silver hair, "Hey, it's okay, it's okay," he murmurs, leaving a soft kiss on his forehead.
You move to his side and run one of your hands over his wet cheeks, watching you for a moment with teary blue eyes only to close them tightly and continue crying.
"Either he wants to sleep in his room or he's hungry," you say, stroking his face to try to calm him as well.
"He didn't eat?" he asks you attentively.
"Yes, Mary said yes."
"Then he wants to sleep," he says, trying to wipe the dried tears from his cheeks, "Come on upstairs, I'll take him," he tells you and you nod.
All the while Aemond tries to comfort him until they reach the door of your apartment, but when he lays him down in his crib, Aenar cries more and he carefully holds him in his arms again, trying to soothe him while you quickly stop in the kitchen and prepare a baby bottle, hoping it will help.
And when you hand it to Aemond, he stands gently pacing around the room holding Aenar with one arm while the other hand holds the baby ottle for him against his mouth, hoping it will soothe him and he will fall asleep.
You take the bottle and Aemond carefully lays him down to sleep in his crib, leaving a soft kiss on his forehead to finally let him rest.
Aenar eventually calms down as he drinks from the baby bottle and watches with his blue eyes Aemond above him, who is still gently walking him around the room.
And little by little, wrapped in the safety of Aemond's arms, he falls asleep.
He sits up and turns to you, where you both look at each other without saying anything for a moment, sharing a silent connection.
"Thank you," you whisper to him.
"Don't worry," he says back to you in the same way.
Together you leave Aenar's room without a sound and gently close the door.
That night Aemond drives to his apartment with a new thought in mind, one of which is to always provide a better life for you and Aenar.
That's why, without telling you anything and taking advantage of the fact that it's your day off, he manages to leave the recording set early, he tells you to accompany him to the mall to buy new clothes for Aenar and you accept without thinking about anything else.
During the ride, so far you haven't questioned him about anything and that relieves him, but when you finally pay attention to the streets he is driving through, that's when your confusion appears and Aemond is thankful that you are about to arrive at the real place he wants to take you.
"I don't think there's a shopping mall around here, Aemond," you tell him confused, watching the streets carefully.
You realize that he is actually driving through a private residential neighborhood, with the streets lined with luxurious homes or rather mansions that would catch anyone's attention and you are clearly no exception.
And remembering your locations, you can tell that this neighborhood belongs to the Visenya Hill area, the most exclusive and prestigious area of King's Landing.
"Aemond, where are we going?" you look at him completely confused and questioning.
"I want to show you something," he tells you without giving you any more detail, generating more confusion and despair in you.
"But you said we were going to the mall."
"I know, but I lied to you," he says with some regret and you frown, "If I told you I wanted to show you a house where you can live with Aenar, you wouldn't have come."
"What?"
You inquire in your completely incredulous, serious and questioning voice, watching him with your eyes wide open.
"Surely you're joking," you tell him absurdly, shaking in his direction and watching him completely intently and seriously, really wanting to believe this is a joke.
"No, I'm not," he says letting out a small laugh, watching you for a moment to turn his gaze back to the road.
"Aemond," you start trying to warn him, serious.
"We're here," he announces out of nowhere, alerting you more fully.
You watch with your lips parted and completely attentive at all the windows, as the car comes to a stop in front of an impressive house, whose high ceilings and elegant white columns stand out in the neighborhood.
The front garden with the green lawn, a beautiful fountain and flowering bushes only make it stand out more, besides the elegant entrance, its huge windows and the dimension of the whole house that makes you continue to stare at everything with your mouth open.
In comparison, Aemond looks at the house with a hopeful expression and feeling genuinely happy and excited. But at the same time, he is worried about your attitude and what you will tell him about all this.
At first you refuse to get out of the car, still incredulous and surprised, telling him this is crazy, but Aemond makes you get out and also gets Aenar down from the back seats, instantly on this rare occasion preferring your arms instead of his father's.
"Aemond," you try to say, worried and still unable to believe it.
"Easy. Come," he tells you completely unconcerned, leading you to the entrance of the house.
You observe everything, unable to help yourself, as there is even furniture and everything looks too expensive but too beautiful at the same time.
You watch as he holds the fucking key in his hand and opens the beautiful, gigantic door for you, without giving you a chance to say anything else.
And as you enter, the entire interior of the house spreads out in front of you, illuminated by the daylight filtering through the windows and highlighting every majestic detail of the property.
The simple entrance is large with a crystal chandelier above you hanging from the high ceiling, the living room is spacious and there is also a small decorative fountain. Further on there is another living room that you can observe from the spacious and eye-catching kitchen.
And the entire upstairs also completely grabs your attention, having three huge bedrooms, the master bedroom being the largest of them all, each with its own bathroom and closet.
The bathroom down here is ridiculously large for a bathroom. The pantry is also a ridiculously large room for a pantry.
The garden is lovely and has a swimming pool which, according to Aemond, can be automatically closed off for Aenar's security. There is a laundry and drying room as well.
"It's perfect, don't you think?"
Aemond tells you slightly excited as you walk down the stairs behind him, with Aenar in your arms and who also looks at everything around him with a twinkle in his eyes.
"Work is nearby, my apartment is nearby and Elinda has come to this area to work before, so it won't be a problem," he tells you with that little smile, turning to you, looking with that gleam of hope compared to you.
He clearly expects the same reaction from you and even having already seen the house, you let out a sigh and look at him with a serious and confused expression.
"Aemond, what do you think you're doing?"
"Well, it's for you," he tells you, pointing to everything around him, still not seeing how much this is costing you, "It's perfect for you and Aenar. And a chance for him to live and grow up in a nice, spacious, safe place."
You are speechless for a moment, feeling that heaviness in your chest and your heart pounding as you press your lips together and briefly observe everything around you again.
"Everything will be taken care of by me, you won't have to worry about anything," he assures you softly, "Aenar's room is big, the kitchen is big, there are two living rooms and..." he shrugs, "Like I told you, everything is close by."
"Tell me you haven't already bought all this," you say slightly concerned.
And then all emotion from Aemond slowly fades.
"But why? What is it that—
"Aemond, this is too much," you interrupt him incredulously, shock in your eyes, "How do you think I'm just going to accept this just like that?"
He steps closer, with the slight concern in his gaze, trying to convey calm, but his eye reflects the urgency of his purpose.
"Y/N, please. I only want what's best for you and Aenar. Besides, you said you're moving soon and—
"Yes but to an apartment, not a house that costs millions of dollars," you tell him absurdly.
"Yes, I know, but—" he bites his lips, nervous, "I wanted to do this. I wanted to give this to you and Aenar," he says insistent, "A safe place in a quiet neighborhood, where you can also have your space without having to worry anymore."
You shake your head.
"But—
"Look, just..." he tries to find the right words, trying to work on your willing attitude for not accepting this, "Consider it, yes?" he insist, "You don't have to make a decision right now, for now I just wanted to show you around, nothing more," he says calmly, though you know that behind that calmness is an obvious longing.
"But it's just that this is too much and... no," you look at him with slight concern, "I don't need to consider it because no matter how much I think about it, my answer is no."
"Aemond, this..." you begin to say with restrained sadness, hesitating, "This won't change the past. This won't make it so I can forgive you," you tell him resignedly, "This isn't about me and Aenar, it's about Aenar nothing else and her well being," you tell him in a broken voice, "But this... this house... it's too much."
"Y/N..." he says, taking a couple more steps towards you, wary, "Two years ago, I was the worst shitty boyfriend," he says with sadness and regret, "I had to support you, be there for you completely, I shouldn't have let Criston talk me into his plans, accept in the beginning to hide you and hide my responsibility."
He says as he looks nostalgic at Aenar in your arms.
"And now that you've given me this second chance, I just want to make things right....I want to do what I should have done in the beginning."
Aemond's expression, although he himself tries to remain expressionless, still feels as if he has been hit hard in the stomach when he hears your words.
And all illusion disappears, as well as his enthusiasm.
He resignedly steps back, leaving a space between you and him, not wanting to overwhelm you any more than he already has.
He thought this would be a good idea, that by the time the three of you were here, looking forward to the idea of a new home, you would understand and accept.
But there are still many open wounds from the past and he knows they cannot be healed with these sudden gestures.
"I know, it's just that I-I..." he tries to say with his voice laden with regret and deep remorse," I didn't expect this... a house or an apology to just fix things," he says sincerely and with disappointment, "I just wanted to give Aenar stability and offer you a safe place for the both of you, give you a better life."
Silence envelops you both, dense and charged with mixed emotions.
Aemond tries to find some sign on your face, wanting you to see his true intention, longing for some small indication of hope or acceptance.
And you feel the overwhelming weight of responsibility and emotions inside you. All of this is tempting, though your heart is still scarred by past pain and also distrust. And you are torn between caution and the opportunity to give Aenar the stability he deserves.
Aemond remains silent, respecting your space and your time to process the situation. But the indecision in you is all too obvious.
"Y/N, I promise you that all this is for Aenar and nothing else," he tells you seriously and sincerely, "I promise I won't try anything, except to take care of him and make sure he lacks nothing," he insists, "At least stay in this house until he grows up a little more and if you still think it's too much, we can find a smaller place," he proposes.
His words are left floating in the air, while you continue to think too hard. His proposal echoing in your mind, plunging you into a sea of thoughts, with indecision.
Aemond seems to have put his heart on the table, but your emotions continue to struggle between caution and hope, as you cannot ignore the possibility of offering Aenar a more secure and stable life, which is all you wish for him since you could not give him that at the beginning.
And it is also what Aemond desires, that is why he is so insistent and you see his true intention to give this to Aenar, without any other intentions in between.
But is it right to trust him again? What if Criston and his team try to intervene again? This time they would do it more easily.
Maybe it can be different this time.
You honestly feel like you're taking a big risk by agreeing. It's a big bet to open your life and Aenar's to this new opportunity, but you also see how he's striving to give you something better.
And that's exactly what has you questioning and wondering: should I give this a chance?
"All right," you finally say in a soft voice with a mixture of nervousness, "But only for Aenar."
Aemond looks at you with surprise and hope.
"Really?"
You nod, swallowing hard and Aemond lets out a long breath, visibly relieved and then, avoiding smiling big, takes the house key from his front pocket and holds it out to you, to which you take it a little confused.
"Don't you have to give it to the real estate agent?"
"Actually, I already bought it," he says with a nervous but innocent gesture at the same time, scratching the back of his neck, "Well, I haven't paid the whole amount, but I've paid most of it. So it's yours."
Seven fucking Hells.
You can't help but think as you close your eyes for a moment and let out a sigh, unable to believe it.
The new house soon began to have that warmth the moment you started settling in with Aenar. Every room radiates a sense of peace and comfort that you haven't experienced in a long time.
The move wasn't difficult at all, the only thing you had to transport from the old apartment with the help of Aemond and his driver was your clothes, Aenar's clothes, her toys and her crib, nothing else.
The house already had furniture, beds, decorations and even televisions already installed.
The high ceilings allow natural light to flood in, while the white walls set off the black and gray furniture and Aenar toys, creating a warm and cozy atmosphere.
Aemond builds Lego block forts together with him, buys him toy dragons, cars, stuffed animals and they both watch Aenar's favorite cartoon or movies, getting cozy on the shag carpet or on the couch.
Because Aemond's apartment is close by, his commitment is more accessible, so there is never a day that goes by that he doesn't visit Aenar.
Special moments between father and son are spent in the living room, where toys scattered on the floor become Aenar's playroom area.
Also some evenings the three of you have dinner together, where Aemond offers to feed Aenar and eventually the dining room fills with laughter and smiles as you focus on him.
The backyard also becomes a realm of adventure, where they both even plan picnics and invite you over.
They also both sometimes spend afternoons exploring with laughter and playing with the plastic cars on the lawn where Aenar imitates the sounds Aemond makes from a car.
The new house is filled with happy and warm moments, forming the perfect setting for Aenar to begin to grow up, having both of his parents looking after him.
The proximity of work and Aemond's apartment made the daily routine easier. The routes are short and convenient, allowing more time to enjoy time together.
And above all you definitely feel more at ease having Elinda taking care of Aenar while you are considerably closer to home from the set.
When one day at night, you had already received a message from Aemond telling you that he would be a little late to visit Aenar, as usual, and you replied that it was fine, even though tomorrow is your day off and you have no problem with sleeping late.
But the clock is almost half past eleven at night and you think he is not going to arrive, when just at that moment you hear the doorbell ring and you go to the door, checking from the IPad the cameras of a program that Aemond installed to record Aenar while he sleeps and also monitors in case of anything and so you can make sure he is okay.
And finally you open the door, watching Aemond carefully.
"I thought you weren't coming anymore," you tell him in a low, warm tone, but also worried.
Aemond nods, letting out a sigh.
"I finished later than I thought. It was a hard day," he tells you heavily.
You nod softly and understandingly, stepping aside to let him pass.
"Aenar is already asleep."
"Yes, that's what i thought," he says calmly, "But it doesn't matter, I won't wake him up, I just want to see him," he watches you with tired eye, "You should go to sleep too," he says as he places one of his hands gently on your shoulder, "I'll lock up and set the alarm when I leave."
Hesitation shows on your face for a moment, watching him intently and with a flash of concern.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, don't worry," he nods at you with a small soft smile, "Go get some rest, I'll take care of it."
"Fine, but anything tell me, no matter what it is, okay?"
"Okay."
With a soft nod, you both head up the stairs and down the hallway to the rooms, you wave goodbye to him before entering your room and he enters Aenar's room.
And once in your room, you cover yourself with your sheets and thinking that you would fall asleep the moment you were in the comfort of your bed, you suddenly stare at the ceiling for a long time unable to close your eyes and clearly unable to sleep.
He hasn't left yet, as you haven't heard that soft 'click' of the door or his footsteps in the hallway walking away.
You try to find sleep any way you can, but the thought that Aemond is still in the house is what keeps you awake.
And it's not because you don't trust him, on the contrary, you look at the time and feel remorseful and worried that he has to drive back to his apartment so late.
Minutes pass and suddenly you find yourself restless, sleep refusing to invade you. So with quiet steps, you approach Aenar's room, where the dim light of a night lamp reflects through the frame below the door.
Carefully and determined, you gently open the door, first peeking your head and then your body, catching the attention of Aemond who turns his head towards you, sitting near Aenar's crib and gently and very lightly stroking his hair so as not to wake him with a look of affection that does not leave his face despite the interruption.
"Can't you sleep?" he whispers to you, watching you with a soft gaze.
You nod softly, folding your arms as you look down at sleeping Aenar with palpable tenderness.
"It's late and I thought maybe... if you want, you can sleep here," you say with a warm tone but your hint of shyness in your voice is noticeable, as well as your hesitation to suggest such a thing.
It's no problem for you, it's just that he's never slept over before and you don't know what his reaction will really be to you proposing that, whether he'll say yes or no.
"And you're okay with that?" he observes you thoughtfully and softly.
"Yes, of course I am," you assure him completely nonchalantly, "It's totally fine with me."
He nods at you with a gesture, without wiping away his soft little smile.
"Thank you."
And then both his gaze and yours return to watching Aenar asleep in his crib. And Aemond resumes the smile of tenderness on his lips, again sliding his hand over his hair.
"He's beautiful, isn't he?" he whispers with a flash of pride in his gaze.
You hum in assent, slowly moving closer toward them both.
"Yes, he is," you reply, gazing at your little one with indescribable love.
A brief silence envelops you for a moment, only hearing the soft hum of the spinning lamp projecting images on the ceiling, creating a peaceful low-light scene of animals and stars for Aenar.
This usually helps him sleep and also calms him down a bit if he wakes up crying in the middle of the night while you wake up and rush over here.
"For a while I imagined how he would looked like, whether boy or girl..." he murmurs in a soft, warm, low, wistful tone, "No matter what you decided to do when you left, I always thought about it," he gives you a meaningful look, guilt on his features and you nod, watching him with understanding.
Aemond clenches his jaw and looks at Aenar again, while you remember those days, where fear and uncertainty lived inside you every day.
You wish you had them, those happy moments that a new mom should experience, but that was not the case for you and yet... you cannot imagine a life without your little boy, it is impossible.
What is supposed to be happy news, was not happy for you and Aemond.
There was no single moment of joy at the beginning, when you learned of your pregnancy. Nor did you experience that feeling the first few months, when you ran away and went back to building a new life.
And Aemond feels the remorse most in these kinds of moments, when Aenar is asleep and he looks at him, not being able to believe and wondering over and over again how it is that from the beginning, he supported the idea of just getting rid of him.
And now he sees only him and cannot imagine a world without him.
Shame overcomes him, guilt also and he even wants to cry with anger as he thinks of all that you must have gone through, without his support, trying to make a living for you and his son, all alone in a new and unknown place.
And he knows that this, allowing you to be in Aenar's life, is a great opportunity that he doesn't deserve and yet you have given it to him.
"I know you said you can't forgive me but... someday can you? For how I reacted and for the decision I supported in the beginning?" he asks you, unable to help himself and needing to know.
His tone is charged with a mixture of regret and longing as you feel a pressure and a slight sharp pain in your chest at his words.
Silence stretches for a moment throughout the room, Aemond respects your silence and though there are many reasons why you should never forgive him for what happened, you still decide to be honest.
"I don't know," you whisper in a low, sad and vulnerable tone.
The words echo through the room, enveloping the space with palpable tension.
Aemond feels his heart pounding, filled with overwhelming regret. He lowers his gaze, unable to bear the weight of his mistakes and your words are like a dagger in his heart, but still, he understands you completely.
He nods with compression, letting out a regret-laden sigh, still gently stroking Aenar's hair.
"I understand," he murmurs with a tone of melancholy and fragility, as well as in his gaze full of pleading and remorse.
"Does your family know about him?"
And you with your sad eyes full of regret, you watch him out of the corner of your eye.
And you see all those emotions in him, all his thoughts reflected in his gaze, trying to stand firm and on the sidelines as he continues to watch Aenar.
You can't help but ask, trying to calm the atmosphere a little, though it's useless, as that slight tension is felt and also that physical and emotional distance from both your side and him.
"I've wanted to tell them, only Nyra knows but I asked her not to say anything," he confesses to you in a low voice, trying to speak firmly but the nostalgia is clear, "Even though I know my mother and siblings will be disappointed in me when I explained what happened two years ago, yes I have wanted to tell them," he nods, "But first I wanted to discuss it with you," he says looking briefly at you over his shoulder.
And now it is remorse that comes to you.
"Tell them, Aemond," you tell him firmly with a soft tone, "They deserve to know."
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@hypocritic-trash-baby
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AITA for correcting my niblings without my brother's input?
I had a massive falling out with my family when I was a teenager. I was into goth/edgy/horror culture and true crime before it was accepted by the mainstream, plus my parents were older when they had us and we lived on a farm. They needed my brother and me to keep the farm going, and I decided to pursue college instead. At some point after this they sold/lost their farm, but I do not know when, which fueled their resentment. At their request I did not speak to them until 2021, when my brother found me on Facebook to tell me my parents both died of covid and we held a Zoom funeral. After that he moved several states over to be closer to me so we could work on reconciliation and forgiving me for the farm incident.
So now I (45f) babysit his (44m) two youngest children (10m, 8f) for free, and have been since 2021. Initially he had full custody as his ex wife did not have a job or any job experience when they divorced (before we reconciled) but she now has a full time job so they share custody currently, although she is in our home state, so they decided the kids should go to school there still and spend holidays and summers with him. I am currently an art professor at a local university and for summer semester I only have morning classes and he works afternoons, so it works out.
Last week, his youngest asked me; "OP, how come you lie so much?" Her brother tried to shush her but I asked for clarification. Her brother told her she wasn't supposed to tell me, but she did anyway, and then he also chimed in to confirm. Turns out, whenever I told his kids about any vacations to other countries I took, he said I was making it up to sound important. When I told them I went to medical school, he said I was lying and was a glorified art teacher and only went to community college. I have a serious boyfriend who I have mentioned, although I do not spend time with him while babysitting per the mother's request not to have any adult with her children before meeting them and giving the okay, and so my brother insists I made him up.
I was very hurt, and so I showed them pictures, diplomas, videos, etc proving I was not lying. It is true I got into a community college near our home town on an art scholarship and an FHA grant, but I was able to skip generals due to advanced courses I was taking in high school. I quickly got interested in the medical field and was able to transfer to a medical school on several scholarships and obviously loans. I became a pediatric oncologist and was happy with that until my later thirties. I had kept art as a hobby but eventually realized I wanted to do more with it. I retired from pediatric oncology and then became an art professor five years ago. When I was a doctor, I met my current boyfriend (46m) who is a trauma surgeon. Starting in my late twenties, until covid, I was able to travel throughout the US and even to many foreign countries, sometimes for work, sometimes for vacation. There was no way for him to know this as we were not in contact, but I was very hurt that instead of believing me, he has been telling his kids I'm a liar for the past two years. So yes I did show them the photos and videos specifically because I was hurt.
The following day my brother called me and shouted at me, angry I had deliberately contradicted him. He was angry enough he was shouting at me. He has been dragging this on through text for the past few days. His ex wife also contacted me, asking for my version of events, as apparently their children called her crying about the situation. I told her exactly what I said here. He called me not an hour later screaming. Unbeknownst to me, she has been trying to get full custody of the children and he's convinced that this situation will get his kids taken from him, something he has a fear of due to the fact he has two adult children from a previous marriage who went no contact when they both turned 18. He insists that his ex wife turned them against him, and now he is terrified it will happen again. I was not aware of this until recently, nor did I think this would cause an issue with his custody. It has been very awkward babysitting his kids, as they have been very quiet since this whole thing happened. I don't have kids myself, nor have I been divorced, so I don't understand parenting or divorce etiquette, but I am still very hurt and even angry with him for calling me a liar to his children. Before I make any further decisions regarding an apology, I wanted to get advice as to whether I am the asshole for not bringing it up with him before showing his kids evidence that I did, in fact, do those things, and if so, how I can rectify this appropriately.
What are these acronyms?
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tonyspank · 1 year
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CHAPTER THREE | GET ME
Jenna Ortega x G!P Reader
Warnings: Jenna’s husband being a dickhead. And I think that’s all?
Words: 5.7k
A/N: I’m going to try and get chapter six out for the party and the after party tonight or tomorrow!
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Two weeks. Fourteen and a half days, or three hundred and forty-eight hours. That's how long it's been since you've held a conversation with Jenna, and it feels like an eternity. You've been wanting to talk to her and apologize, but she's been avoiding you. And she's doing a wonderful job at it, but you can't lie and not act like you're making it any harder for her to do so.
Instead of waking up at your usual time, you've been waking up thirty minutes earlier, and getting a ride for Eli. After practice, Eli drops you off before heading home himself, and then you'll grab a snack from the fridge, check for towels before you shower, sleep, and then repeat.
On the days you don't have practice you're out with Olivia, doing whatever comes to mind. Again, she's a very sweet girl, kind and loyal, and you can't help but admire her. You've been spending a lot of time with her and it's been great because you both enjoy each other's company.
She's been telling you about how she's started writing songs and they're mainly about her ex-boyfriend. She says her songs are a way of healing, and letting go of her past. You have been supportive and encouraging her to continue writing, and you've been there to listen to her stories while she works through her feelings.
Eli thinks you should stop and hurry up and apologize to Jenna. For someone who wants Jenna for himself, he was so keen on you two being on good terms. Eli was over at your place since it was an early dismissal at school today, and also a Friday.
"I still can't believe you're not talking." You open your mouth to speak but Eli beats you. "Just apologize and be done with it, man." You feel your neck flush. You open your mouth to reply but it only comes out as a stutter. Eli shakes his head and sighs, "All of this because she saw your lil Jimmy John."
You take a bite out of your apple sending a slight glare while doing so. Eli laughs and you swallow your bite before speaking, "Shut up. It's not that simple."
Eli smirks and shakes his head. "You know it is," he says. "You just don't want to admit it." You glare at him, not wanting to give in. You take another bite of the apple, savouring the sweet crunch. "No, it's not," you say firmly.
"Yes, it is. You're avoiding her, she's not avoiding you." You sigh in frustration. You know he's right, but you can't admit it. You set the half-eaten apple down, "Because it's awkward!" He shakes his head and smiles. "It's never going to be not awkward if you don't talk to her. It's better to just go for it and get it over with." He reaches for your apple and takes a bite. "Trust me."
You furrow your eyebrows. "Keep the apple, bitch." He grins, taking another bite of the apple. "You started avoiding her after she saw you naked and then she probably took it as a hint that you didn't want to speak to her, which you don't and started to avoid you herself." You sigh and roll your eyes. He takes another bite of the apple. "She's just as embarrassed as you are."
"So why not just apologize and move on?" He shrugs, taking the last bite of the apple. "It's not that hard. Just be honest and it'll be over in no time and don't walk around naked knowing you have company over." He wipes his mouth and stands up throwing away the apple.
"Where is my wife anyway?" You stare at him blankly at the nickname, "She's out."
He looks around the room for a second before he sighs. "Alright, I guess let's just order pizza and finish the movie you fell asleep on." You throw your head back groaning, "Fuck no! I'm not watching that movie. I fell asleep on it for a reason." He laughs, shaking his head. "Fine. What do you wanna watch then?" You smile, "Puss N Boots."
He raises an eyebrow, but agrees, "Fine, Puss N Boots it is." He pulls out his phone and orders a pizza, and you stand up from the bar stool, heading into the living room.
Thirty minutes later, Jenna was heading home with her friend Emma. She had no idea you were home, and she definitely didn't know Eli was over with you. "Am I about to meet the too attractive for her age, Y/N?" Emma asks with a smile, repeating Jenna's words from earlier today. Jenna sends Emma a glare, unlocking the front door.
Emma giggles, stepping inside and turning to look at Jenna. "So, is it a yes or a no?" She asks with a smirk. Jenna rolls her eyes and walks inside, closing the door behind her. "No. She's at school." Emma's face falls and she sighs. "That's disappointing." She turns away and walks towards the kitchen. Jenna follows but stays silent.
"It smells like pizza," Emma says and looks back at Jenna who nods in agreement.
You pause as you hear sounds coming from the kitchen. You snap your head at Eli who's too invested in the movie to hear anything. He chews his cheese pizza letting out a laugh before taking another bite. "Eli." Eli turns to you and sees the worry in your eyes. He slowly puts down his pizza and turns down the TV. "What is it?"
"I think Jenna's home." His face lights up and he holds his pizza in his mouth jumping up happily, you follow the boy who nearly jogs to the kitchen. Jenna and Emma turn around at the sound of something falling to the floor. It's the pizza that slipped from his mouth.
"MY PIZZA! NOOOOOOO!" Eli yells out as you stare at the two women in front of you. Jenna and Emma smile, amused by the boy's dramatic reaction.
He quickly picks up the pizza and takes a big bite. "Dude, that's so gross." You mutter, squeezing past him and further into the kitchen. Eli continues to eat the pizza off the floor. "It's not that bad," he says with a mouthful. You shake your head in disbelief and watch as the blonde woman whispers something into Jenna's ear.
"I thought she was at school, hm?" Emma whispers, a smile on her lips. Jenna's cheeks flush and she quickly avoids eye contact with everyone in the room. You frown, wondering what that was all about, but it soon disappears as you examine Jenna's outfit.
She was wearing a cropped white button-up, a black tie and a long grey split colored skirt. One side was darker than the other, her socks matching it perfectly. Her shoes were black loafers that matched the tie. A pair of glasses sat on top of her head while her headphones hung from her neck. She really does always have a pair of headphones on her.
She had a unique style, one that blended modern and vintage elements creatively. It was eye-catching and inspiring, and it seemed to suit her perfectly. She looked amazing in it, and it was clear she had a lot of confidence in her own style.
The blonde woman smiles at you, "Hi. It's so nice to meet you. I'm Emma, Jenna's friend." You smile back, holding out a hand for her to shake. "Nice to meet you too—" Eli steps in front of you, shaking her hand himself and introducing himself. "Hey beautiful, I'm Elias Cooper the third." Emma looks taken aback, laughing in shock and surprise as she shakes his hand.
"He's not a third." You and Jenna both say in sync. You and Jenna exchange a glance, and Emma laughs again. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Elias," she says. Eli raises her hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss onto her hand while not breaking eye contact. Emma giggles looking at Jenna, and Eli lowers her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, too," he says, his voice low and rich. Jenna clears her throat, and you place a hand on his shoulder, rescuing Emma from the situation.
Eli stands up straight again, and you quickly shake Emma's hand. "I'm Y/N. Sorry about him." Emma's face lights up with a smile. "It's nice to finally meet you, Y/N." She turns to Jenna with a mischievous glint in her eye, mouthing, "Sexy indeed." Jenna turns a deep shade of red and averts her gaze and Emma grins even wider.
"Don't you two have school? Why are you home?" Emma asks. Jenna sighs in relief at not having to ask herself. You nod and Eli speaks up for you, "We had an early dismissal."
"Oh, I see," Emma said. Jenna's eyes roam over you, taking in your white tee that fits your biceps just right. Or your black sweatpants that sag just enough to show the Calvin Klein band in your boxers. Jenna's gaze lingers for a moment before she looks away, blushing. She quickly turns her attention back to Emma, trying to focus on the conversation.
But Eli noticed it all his eyes widening as he stopped himself from letting his jaw drop in shock. He quickly regained his composure and tried to act as if nothing had happened. Eli glanced at Jenna, who was still blushing. He smirked, his lips turning up into a mischievous grin.
"— home safety." Emma finishes off, and you and Eli nod. "Yeah, I'm leaving as well. I just wanted to hang out with her since she's been spending all her time with Olivia." Eli says, staring you down at the last part.
Emma laughs while Jenna's lips twitch downwards. Who's Olivia? "Who's Olivia?" Emma asked with a hint of curiosity. You shake your head, "She's just a friend." Eli sends a quick look to Jenna before throwing an around your shoulder and placing a hand on your stomach. "A friend who wants to be more than friends!"
He tells Emma and you sigh at the boy. Emma's eyes widen, and Jenna scoffs quietly. You roll your eyes and move away from Eli, hoping to avoid any further conversation about Olivia.
"I should get going," Emma announces to everyone with a small frown. Jenna nods and Eli feels his pockets for his keys, "Me too." Eli begins walking into the living room and you follow behind him.
While that happens Emma and Jenna are making their way to the front door, Emma gives Jenna a hug pulling away with a smirk on her lips. "I saw those glances at Y/N." Jenna blushed, trying to deny it. She was about to say something, but Emma just laughed and shook her head. "Come on. Just admit it."
"Em, I'm married." Emma rolled her eyes and waved her hand dismissively. "Unhappily. When's the last time you even got laid?" Jenna opened her mouth to protest, but no words came out. She looked away, trying to hide the blush that had spread across her cheeks. "That's what I thought," Emma said smugly.
"Y/N is my best friend's daughter and not only that but she's eighteen," Jenna exclaims. There were a lot of reasons this was a bad idea, but these were her main concerns. Along with being engaged of course. She didn't want to get caught up in a scandal, and she didn't want to make your parents mad. Especially since she was already getting married.
Jenna knew she had to put a stop to this before it even began. She had to make it clear to Y/N that there was nothing more between them than friendship. She had to make sure that Y/N understood that she needed to focus on her future and not on Jenna.
But the way you looked, the way she felt, she couldn't help but think about what if? Her husband was barely home and he barely even called. And here you are, giving her kisses on her temple and sending photos of her to your best friend. She knew it was wrong but she couldn't resist the temptation. She wanted so badly to feel alive again.
"She's an adult. She can make her own choices. Plus, she seems respectful." Emma says, shrugging slightly. Emma looked away, embarrassed. She knew she was wrong in encouraging her friend, but she couldn't help it. She had been in her friend's shoes not so long ago and she wanted her to be happy.
She was trying to be supportive, even if it was misguided. She wanted her friend to be able to make the decisions that she thought were best for her, regardless of the consequences.
While they spoke, you and Eli were as well.
Eli searches the couch for his keys, tossing a few pillows to the side. You cross your arms, "They're on the table." He turns his head, and they indeed are on the coffee table. "Oh, shit. Thanks."
Eli grabs his keys, "Thank you, baby girl." You scrunch up your face, "Shut up." Eli laughs and throws his keys in the air. He catches them and gives you an exaggerated bow. "My humble thanks to you, my lady." You roll your eyes and Eli grins. "You better talk to her."
You uncross your arms, sighing. "And say what exactly? Oh, sorry Jenna. I didn't mean for you to see me naked, I was just heading to get a towel. I thought you were asleep." Eli pauses then gives you a single nod, "Yes. Say exactly that. It's not rocket science." You take a deep breath, then exhale. "Okay, I'll apologize."
Eli plays with his keys. "Good." He turns to leave but immediately turns back around. "Also! You can keep Jenna for yourself. I want Emma." You raise an eyebrow and look at Eli, confused. He smiles and rolls his eyes. "Just kidding. Hashtag Jenna for life." He laughs and starts to walk away. You watch him go, still trying to process what had just happened. You shake your head and laugh, deciding it was best not to question it.
Jenna opens her mouth to reply to Emma but closes it, turning around as Eli enters the room. He stops short when he sees the two and quickly puts on a smile. "Hey, ladies. Looking even more gorgeous than earlier." He says, Emma grins and Jenna shakes her head. "Hey Eli, leaving?"
Eli nods. "Yup, I'm headed out. See you around." Eli gives a small before walking out of the room, leaving Emma and Jenna alone. "He's cute as well," Emma whispers, smiling. Jenna laughs. "We'll talk later, yeah?" Emma nods and follows Eli out the door.
Jenna watched them leave, a small smile on her face. She shook her head and went back to the kitchen, slightly jumping when you were already there, waiting for her. A sad smile was on your lips as you leaned against the counter. "Hey, Jen. Can we talk?" Jenna hesitated before nodding. "Yeah, of course."
"I uh, I just wanted to apologize for--" You motion with your hands trying to find the right words. "For walking out without a towel, I honestly thought you were asleep." You look away, feeling embarrassed. You take a deep breath and look back, hoping for a response. "I'm sorry," you say again, hoping your apology is accepted.
There's a long pause, and you can feel your heart racing. Suddenly, your Jenna breaks the silence and says, "It's okay. Don't worry about it." You let out a sigh of relief and offer a weak smile. "Thank you," you reply.
Jenna smiles back and gives your hand a reassuring squeeze. You feel a sense of calm come over you as you look into Jenna's eyes. You give her hand a gentle squeeze in return, "Can we hug?" Jenna smiles and pulls you in for a hug. You wrap your arms around her and exhale, enjoying the feeling of being so close to her. A soft hand rubs up and down your back gently.
The warm feeling of connection between you and Jenna slowly dissipates as you pull away. You look at each other, a mutual understanding in your eyes. Jenna reaches up to caress your cheek before releasing you and stepping back.
Your face tingles from her touch and your face begins heating up. "There, um. There's still a box of pizza left if you want some." She hums, "What's on it?" You stutter in response, "Uh, cheese and pepperoni."
"I'm a pescetarian."
"Oh, um, sorry about that. I didn't know." You fumble for words, trying to think of what to say next. She laughs softly and says, "It's okay. I'll just have the cheese." You furrow your eyebrows, "Wait. Didn't you have chicken and rice that one day?" You refer back to the day she cooked for you.
"That was for you. I had eaten something beforehand." You feel guilty for not realizing it before. "I'm sorry," you say, "I should have known that." She smiles and shakes her head, "It's alright. I'll just order something else."
"That's why you ordered that veggie sandwich." You mumble loud enough for her to hear. She laughs, "Yes, that's why." You look down at the ground, thinking a bit before letting out a, "Huh." She stares at you, her eyes twinkling. She smiles and says, "It's good for you. You should try something new every once in a while." You nod, shrugging.
"Maybe." She gives you a knowing look. "Just trust me. I think you'll like it." You reluctantly agree, moving to sit down on the bar stool and continuing to talk to Jenna until Midnight comes. You can't believe you spent two weeks avoiding the older woman when the apology was so simple. You mentally groaned at the fact Eli was right.
Instead of being in bed Saturday morning, you found yourself in the school gym, your team and the opponent team warming up. "So, she just said it's okay and moved on?" Eli asks, dribbling the ball in behind him. As you sit down, you hum as you search through your gym bags for your shoes. "See! I told you, she probably thought you were upset. She's grown, I'm sure she got over it the next hour."
You pause for a moment, considering the situation. "I guess so," you finally reply. Where the fuck are your shoes? You glance behind you, looking for them. "Eli, do you have my shoes?" Eli frowns and shakes his head. "No, I don't. I thought you had them." You groan in frustration and turn away, searching the gym for your missing shoes.
You stop looking and take a deep breath. You know you must have left them somewhere, but you can't remember where. You retrace your steps, going back to the locker room and searching around the benches. "Fuck! I left them at home." You glance around the locker room one last time, just in case they were here after all.
You sigh and start heading toward your back. Eli is now sitting down with the ball in his lap. Eli notices your distress and offers to help you look for them. You tell him that you remembered they are at home, "I'll look in lost and found for another pair before Coach starts the huddle."
You nod, sitting down and reaching into your bag for your phone, dialling Jenna's number. Hopefully, she can bring your shoes in time.
Jenna pulls away her phone away from her ear, seeing an incoming call for you. She cuts off the man on her phone sighing, "Jacob. I have to go." Jacob stops her, "Jenna! I'm talking about something important."
Jenna takes a deep breath and clenches her fist in anger. "Suggesting an open marriage is important?! Are you fucking kidding me?" Jacob's voice rises on the phone, "Yes! Don't you think I have needs too?" Jenna's voice tightens, "No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that's not the way to solve this problem." Jacob pauses for a moment before stammering, "Well, what do you suggest then?
"Oh, I don't know? Maybe coming to see your wife every now and then? Taking some time off to build a family like you said you were the past ten times." Jacob clenches his jaw on the other side of the phone, "You're not my wife."
Jenna's heart sinks. She swallows the lump in her throat and says, "No, I'm not. Because someone is too fucking busy to officially marry me. You don't understand how embarrassing it is. We've been fiancées for so long that my family has stopped asking when the wedding is."She takes a deep breath and resigns herself to the fact that it's just not going to happen.
She feels tears welling up, but she quickly composes herself. "Then you have the audacity to suggest an open marriage? You're an asshole."
She places down the phone, putting it on speaker before speaking again. "Fuck you! And fuck this ring!" She takes off the ring, roughly setting it down on the kitchen counter. "Jenna--" she quickly hangs up, not wanting to hear his voice anymore.
She begins to sob, her hands shaking as she covers her face with them. Her phone starts ringing, and it's you calling her again. She takes a few deep breaths before collecting herself and wiping away her tears. She takes a moment to compose herself before answering.
"Jen! Thank God, I forgot my shoes at the door. Could you bring them to me? I'm at school and I have a game." She sniffles into the phone, about to reply but you interrupt her. "Jenna? Are you okay?" She takes a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'll be right there with your shoes." She hangs up and quickly grabs the shoes before rushing to school.
She arrives at the school and sees Eli, already on the court playing, but no sight of you. The woman recognizes your last name on your jersey, your back is turned towards her while you sit on the bench. Jenna takes a deep breath, smiles and jogs over to you, calling your name.
You turn around, surprised to see her. You jump up making your way to Jenna, a huge smile on your face. She hands you the shoes, and you bring her into a side hug. "Thank you so much," she nods in response. "Of course."
You stare at her, taking in her sad face and you can tell she has been crying. You set your shoes down, a slight frown on your face. "Are you okay?" Jenna nods her head, her lip trembling. She was doing a horrible job trying to convince you she was okay.
You wrap your arms around her and pull her close. You can feel her body shaking as she sobs into your shoulder. You squeeze her tighter, trying to offer her some comfort. You whisper reassuring words in her ear, letting her know she isn't alone. You stay there, hugging her until her body stops shaking.
She pulls away, wiping her eyes and shaking her head as she forces a smile on her lips. "Shit, I'm so sorry--" You interrupt her. "Don't apologize." You whisper softly, "It's alright, I'm here for you."
"You have a game to play." She whispers back, you shake your head. "You're more important than a high school game." She looks up into your eyes, her own still glistening with tears. "Thank you," she murmurs, and she takes a deep breath as her shoulders relax. You smile at her, and take her hand in yours, squeezing it gently.
You pull her back into a quick hug, pulling away and placing a kiss on the top of her head. You don't know why but you just wanted to before you let her go. She looks up at you, a small smile forming on her lips. "Go play," she says. You pick up your shoes nodding before asking, "Are you gonna watch?"
She shakes her head and pushes you away gently. "I'm more of a soccer fan but I'll support," she says. You take a few steps back, watching her for a few moments before turning away and running toward your coach. She smiles before finding a place to sit on the bleachers. Your coach calls a timeout, discussing a game plan to sub you in as your team is trailing 15 points.
Eli pats your back while you bend down to tie your shoes, looking away from your coach's whiteboard to spare a look into the crowd. His face lights up when he sees Jenna, waving at her.
It is Olivia that is seated in front of Jenna, and she thinks Eli is waving at her and her friends, so she reciprocates. Jenna smiles and waves back, but Olivia's face falls when she realizes Eli was not waving at her. Olivia turns away, trying to hide her disappointment. She forces a smile back onto her face and turns to her friends, pretending nothing had happened.
The ref informs your coach that his thirty seconds are about to come to an end, you all break out of the huddle and prepare to step onto the court. The whistle blows and the game begins. Both teams battle it out, and the crowd cheers as the energy of the game fills the air.
As Jenna's anxiety creeps up at the scoreboard, she reaches for her ring only to remember it's not there. Jenna quickly shakes her head and refocuses on the game. Clapping loudly as you steal the ball from your opponent.
You quickly pass the ball to Eli, who dribbles it to the basket and makes the shot. The crowd erupts in cheers for your team. You give Eli a pat on his back as he jogs back down the court.
It's the fourth quarter and your team is trailing by two points. Twenty seconds left on the clock. You walk up the court, calling out a play. Eli sets a screen for you and you run to the basket. Jumping off one foot, you go for the layup only to get fouled badly. You land hard but still manage to make the layup.
The crowd goes silent at the loud smack that could be heard around the arena. You stay laying on the ground, the pain coursing through your body. Jenna stands up from the bleachers, worry on her face. "Don't be hurt," she mutters to herself, repeating the three words to herself.
Chris, your teammate along with Eli jog over to you, helping you onto your feet. You take a deep breath and smile, letting your teammates know that you're okay. You give Jenna a wave and a thumbs up, and she visibly relaxes, sitting back down. Chris and Eli give you a pat on the back and the crowd cheers, relieved that you weren't seriously injured.
"Come on, make the free throw baby," Eli says, patting your back. You nod and make your way to the free-throw line. You take another deep breath, focus on the rim, and take the shot. The ball sails through the air and you hear the swish of the net. The crowd erupts and you turn to Eli who is grinning and giving you a thumbs-up. You can't help but smile back, proud of yourself for making the shot.
The opposing team is left with nine seconds on the clock, inbounding the ball and rushing it up the court. The opposing team takes a desperate shot, but it hits the backboard and rebounds out. The buzzer sounds and the game is won.
The home crowd erupts in cheers and the players on the winning team rush the court to celebrate their victory. The players hug and rejoice, thankful for the hard work they put in to secure the win. The losing team stands in silence, feeling the disappointment of the loss. They shake hands with their opponents, showing respect for the other team's effort. The game is over, and the winners bask in the glory of their victory.
As the other team walks into the guest locker room, you walk to the bleachers with a jolly smile on your face. You're staring at Jenna who smiles at you. She blows you a kiss and you dramatically drop your jaw holding a hand over your heart. She laughs, her eyes twinkling with delight. You can't help but feel your heart swell with joy, knowing that she understands your silly gesture of affection.
You jump as you feel a pair of arms wrap around you, Jenna's smile disappears as she watches you hug back the brunette girl. "Olivia! Hey," You say, pulling away from the hug. She smiles in response, resting a hand on your bicep. "You did so well!" Olivia laughs, her eyes twinkling in the arena lights. You glance back at Jenna, who watches you with a frown. You give her a small smile, and she tentatively smiles back.
Eli walks past the two of you, making his way up the bleachers to Jenna. You nod at Olivia's words but your eyes are on the two, Eli and Jenna embrace in a hug, and Eli whispers something in Jenna's ear that makes her laugh. Olivia notices your gaze and follows it. She turns back to you and raises an eyebrow, her expression unreadable.
You look away, feeling embarrassed for having been caught staring. "Are you going to the party tomorrow?" You ask, and Olivia nods. Before she could speak your excuse yourself, joining Eli and Jenna at the bleachers.
The three of you chat for a while, and when you turn back to look for Olivia, she's gone. "Hey, Jen. Enjoy the game?" Jenna grins. "Yeah, it was very intense." You smile in response, "Well, I had to keep you on your toes somehow."
Jen laughs, "You definitely did. I think I'm going to go grab a snack before heading home. Do you need a ride home?" You shake your head. "Yes, please." Jen smiles at you, "Okay. I'll be at the front entrance." She says and heads off to get a snack. Eli turns to you, smiling. "Did you see her ring?"
You furrow your eyebrows, not remembering as you weren't paying attention. "Uh, no?" Eli's smile widens, "Exactly! Oh my god, this is one of the best days of my life!" Eli claps his hands and jumps up from the bleacher. He looks around, noticing the stares they were getting from the students in the stands. He leans in and whispers, "Come on, let's get out of here."
They quickly make their way down the bleachers and into the locker room. You try to remember if Jenna actually wasn't wearing her ring, but you can't remember. You follow Eli out of the locker room, still wondering if you were wrong. "See you tomorrow, Y/N," Eli says, parting ways with you. You send him a nod, seeing Jenna walking toward the main entrance, you follow her, and the two of you walk toward her car.
Jenna gets to her car and you place your bags in the back before entering as well. Jenna puts on her seatbelt and looks at you. "Hungry?" she asks. You shrug, "Not really. I'll just eat something at home." Jenna starts the engine and pulls out of the parking spot. She turns to you and smiles. "You scared me when you fell."
You laugh and look away. "It was nothing, I'm fine. Just a way to get the ref to actually call it." Jenna nods and puts her attention back on the road. You glance at her hands on the steering wheel. She wasn't wearing her ring. Would she mind if you asked? You take a deep breath and decide not to bring it up. You turn your gaze back out the window, watching the scenery pass by. It's probably better to just let it go for now, especially since she was crying earlier.
"Are you feeling better?" You ask, turning your head to her. She quietly nods her head and you let out a relieved sigh. You both sit in silence, the only sound being the hum of the engine.
"I thought you didn't have a girlfriend." Jenna randomly says as her mind reminded herself of the girl hugging you after the game. You quickly look away, not wanting to make eye contact with her. You clear your throat, not sure how to respond. "It's complicated," you finally say. "Well-- it's not. She likes me but I don't like her. Remember what I said when we were out for lunch?"
Jenna looks back at the road in front of her, feeling a little embarrassed. She nods silently before clearing her throat. "Yeah, I remember," she says softly. She takes a deep breath and continues to drive, her mind racing with thoughts. Some of them are about you and the others are about Jacob.
It was obvious she wasn't happy in her marriage, but she was too afraid to take the next step and leave. She knew it would be hard and she wasn't sure if she was up to the challenge. She was also thinking about what Emma said. She's an adult. She can make her own choices. Plus, she seems respectful. Respectful? You were more than respectful, she thought. You were selfless and more mature than the adults she knew in her life.
Yes, it might have taken two weeks but at least you apologized. You didn't exactly do anything wrong, it was just a lack of thinking and communication. And the way you were ready to prioritize her over your game, her husband couldn't relate. You showed that you can put other people's needs before your own. That you can be considerate and thoughtful. It's a good sign that you're growing up and learning to think of others.
When she arrived at a red light her eyes looked at you. Your head turned toward the window. She shamelessly examined you, your jawline, your nose, your eyes, your hair. Everything about you was attractive. She felt a connection between the two of you like she had known you for a lifetime. She couldn't help but smile, her cheeks blushing from the warmth she felt. She wished the light wouldn't turn green, so she could keep admiring you.
The light changed its color unfortunately, she had butterflies in her stomach as she realized what she's been thinking about. She was infatuated by you, and badly. No more denying it.
taglist - @raven-ss @godsfavouritelesbiann @jennasslut @niqmandu @amburntfreeman @returnnofdamac @starry-night17 @get-the-fuck-outta-here @morganismspam23
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wintaerbaer · 6 months
Text
things we don’t say: part 5 (kth)
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banner credit: @itaeewon
summary: Three years after graduating college, everything seems to be falling into place for you: stable job, cozy apartment, and a long-term boyfriend with a ring box hidden in his desk drawer. But when a mutual friend makes a remark that your best friend of nearly two decades is clearly in love with you, you realize that life may not be as simple as it seems.
pairing: Taehyung x Reader (with some VERY brief Seokjin x Reader and Yoongi x Reader)
rating: 18+
genres: best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slow burn, angst, fluff, eventual smut
word count: 12.1k
chapter warnings: jeon jungkook, seventeen is here because i needed fill-ins (also they’re not singers but their music still canonically exists in-universe so good luck figuring that one out), a wedding!, tae is WHIPPED, the infamous butt debate, jealousy (plural), jimin has terrible timing, alcohol consumption ft. a drinking game, a mega cliffhanger i’m so sorry
a/n: while not required, i highly recommend reading the prequel drabble if you haven’t yet as it has some heavy relevance to this part and the next! special thanks to @btsborahaee and @jeonwiixard for beta-ing this chapter and letting me gush and brainstorm in their inboxes on the regular <3 also, shout outs to @animeniacss and @taegularities for sprinting with me all the time (and a forehead kiss to rid for coming up with the idea for the bathroom scene, mwah)!
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"After today, I never want to see a ribbon ever again."
Jimin fumbles his fingers over the thin string, throwing his hands up in a huff when the slippery material resists his efforts to tie it. With Hoseok and Sunny's wedding only two weeks away, you'd offered to help out with some of the prep work, and Taehyung suggested hosting a mini prep party at your apartment as part of his efforts to make new memories since you'd moved back. True to his word, he’s been at your place nearly every day the past few weeks, cooking dinner with you and rewatching your favorite shows from high school.
You have to admit it’s been pleasantly domestic.
"It's not that bad," you say, finishing off your own ribbon around one of the tiny boxes of chocolate which will be distributed to each of the two-hundred-plus guests as a wedding favor.
"No, I'm serious. I don't even want to tie my shoes anymore. I'm a Crocs guy now."
"I've heard girls love sport mode," Taehyung quietly teases. "Is that right, Y/N?"
The flirtatiousness of his tone startles you, and your eyes snap up to meet his where he sits across from you at the dining room table. He's smiling one of those mischievous grins that makes your stomach churn, belly lurching when he stuns you with a wink before turning back to his own tiny box.
What the fu—
"If any of you show up to my wedding in Crocs, I'm kicking you out," Sunny grumbles.
Hoseok smacks his lips as he ties off a ribbon. "Does that also go for—"
"You as well, yes."
Your group settles into a momentary silence at her declaration—not a sound besides the ripple of ribbon and paper. At least until—
“I got laid wearing Crocs once.”
The entire table groans in unison, and you toss a bit of balled up wrapping paper at Jungkook's chest that bounces pathetically to the floor as Jimin boos. “No one cares about your sexcapades, Kook.”
“What, it was impressive!” he argues. “Just be thankful I'm not bringing any of them to the wedding.”
“I almost wish you were,” Hoseok grumbles. “You'd better not be picking up anyone inappropriate that night. Sisters, cousins, aunts—”
“That was one time!”
“—and anyone else even remotely close to family are off limits.”
Jungkook is quiet for a long moment, pouting to himself, before he says, “Moms?”
The table boos again, more bits of wrapping paper flying his way.
“I'm kidding! Kidding!”
“Actually, Y/N,” Sunny murmurs, leaning towards you. “I hate to bring it up, but are you planning on bringing anyone else in Jace’s place?” Her expression is one of compassionate regret, with pursed lips and a furrowed brow, but the question still hits you low in your chest, knocking the wind out of you.
“I feel terrible asking,” she continues, “but one of my friends from high school originally declined a plus-one, and now she’s asking if there’s any way we can squeeze in this guy she met two weeks ago, and normally I’d tell her no, there’s no way I can change the head count two weeks out and who is this guy anyway, but then I figured that we do technically have an extra spot so we could fit him in, but I’d definitely give you the option to bring someone else first if you wa—“
“It’s fine,” you say, trying to ignore the way everyone else around the table is now looking on in sympathy. “I have no one else to bring. Let her guy come.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.” It feels like you’re dying inside, but you try to look unbothered, especially since you can feel Taehyung’s eyes on you. “I don’t mind.”
“Okay,” Sunny quietly agrees, just as Hoseok suddenly jumps in at her side.
“You know, Tae isn’t bringing anyone to the wedding either,” he says, looking between the two of you. “Why don’t you just go together?”
“I’m also going alo—“ There’s a thump under the table and Jungkook immediately shuts his mouth.
You glance at Taehyung, who’s looking back at you with a dip in his eyebrows and parted lips. It was probably a given that you would spend time at the wedding hanging out already, but wouldn’t going together mean something else entirely? A promise of dancing and proximity and a label the two of you have never shared?
Perhaps that’s the reason why he’s staring at you with a touch of discomfort. Your own skin prickles at the thought, and so you scratch away the itch at your chin and deflect.
“That’s okay. We don’t have to.” Then you stand from the table sharply, hitting your limits with this conversation. “I’ll be right back.”
You head for the bathroom, not even needing to do anything in there, but sure that you can busy yourself for a few minutes to get your emotions under control away from your friends. But as you’re about to swing the door shut behind you, a large hand reaches out to stop it with a thud, and Taehyung quickly slips in before closing the door himself.
“Tae, what are you—“
“Come with me.”
You’re practically chest-to-chest, and if not for the fact that you’ve stopped breathing with his question, you’d probably be pressed up against him in the tight space.
“What?”
He licks his lips, pulls in air through his nose like he’s bracing himself.
“Come to the wedding with me.”
The room is heavy with silence as his request fully sinks in, the air between you thick and hot as you try to get some of it into your lungs. It’s hard, though, to develop a coherent thought with him standing so close—his scent engulfing you and dark, searching eyes fixated on your expression.
“I don’t kno—“ you begin, but he’s quick to cut you off.
“Why not? Like Hobi said, neither of us is bringing anyone already.” His fingers brush yours—an apology for mentioning it again. “So why not go together and…not be as alone.”
You shift on your feet. “But you do know that you don’t have to do this. I’m fine without a plus one. There’s no shame in it for me.”
“Y/N,” he huffs. “You know that I like being around you, right?” He nudges gently against the underside of your chin, making you look at him directly. “I wouldn’t have stuck around this long if I didn’t.”
You’re still skeptical—nervous about the implications of what this would look like, especially when you just got out of a relationship. To you, it feels very much like teasing a boundary. But Taehyung is all nerves in front of you, gaze darting up-and-down your face and a tiny pull at the corner of his mouth telling you that he’s chewing on his lip.
And of course, because it’s him, you cave.
“Okay.”
He beams and, not for the first time, you feel your chest lighten at the sight of his boxy smile. “Okay?”
“Yeah, okay,” you say, smiling back.
“Okay.” Almost impossibly, his grin gets even wider, and you can see the wheels begin to turn in his head. “Do you have a dress picked out yet? What color is it? I can match you.”
It takes you aback. You wouldn’t have even thought about that. “Emerald green.”
“Emerald green,” he repeats, something registering behind his eyes, and he licks his lips again. “Okay. Great.”
He shifts like he's getting ready to leave, but you catch his fingers to reel him back. And you hate to put it out there, hate to even bring it up, but after everything you’ve been through, you need the clarity.
“And Tae,” you say, “this isn’t a date, right?”
He gives a slow blink, a wave of unknown emotion rippling from forehead to chin before he smiles gently at you, eyes softening at the corners. “Of course not.”
You nod. “Okay.” And a small part of you feels…disappointed?
But there's no time to dwell on it as he exits the bathroom, and you follow him out in spite of doing exactly zero bathroom things. You return to the dining room together, your friends clearly trying to look nonchalant as they diligently work on their party favors but being way too quiet to not have been trying to eavesdrop on your conversation.
“Sunny,” Taehyung says as you take your seats, looking positively brighter. “Just make sure we're sitting next to each other, yeah?”
She snorts. “As if you were anywhere else to begin with.”
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Blue skies stretch endlessly in front of you, wind running through your hair and sunlight filtering in through the sunroof as you and Taehyung make the trip to the lakeside resort where Hoseok and Sunny are to be married. He's the absolute picture of relaxation in the driver's seat, wearing sunglasses and a mindless smile with his fingers wrapped delicately around the steering wheel like vines.
He'd opened the door for you when he picked you up, a seemingly spontaneous gesture that had left you both shy and blushing. But if the afternoon started with a touch of unusual awkwardness between you, the prospect of your “not a date” wedding date making itself known, it has since evaporated in the hot summer air. At this point, you’ve spent the past hour chatting, playing road trip games (Taehyung somehow destroying you in the alphabet game in spite of having to focus on driving), and burning through three boxes of Pepero.
“These are an addiction, I swear,” you say, crunching down on a chocolate-filled stick and clapping your hands in delight. Taehyung’s eyes leave the road for a second as he takes you in and grins.
“Was that the last of it?”
“Oh.” You peer into the box. Empty. “Yeah. Sorry. Did you want it?”
“No, it’s fine. You can have it.”
“I sure hope so since I already swallowed it.”
He laughs, whole face lighting up with it, and you feel something turn over behind your ribcage as if someone’s flipped your heart like a pancake. It makes you think that even though you were supposed to be making this trip with a different person, you’re glad it’s him instead.
My love only amounts to this.
The lyrics ring out through the car, and Taehyung leans forward suddenly, turning up the volume on the stereo.
“What are you doing?”
“It’s your favorite song!” he joyfully says. “I know you like to sing along.”
You stare at him blankly, taken aback because you don’t think you’ve ever mentioned this to him. When did he notice…?
“C’mon, sing with me. Play a song I know and one step. Hold my hands and put my feet in, two steps.”
His sweet baritone sounds out beside you, and you feel a grin break out across your face. You always forget what a joy it is to hear Taehyung sing.
“The person to know all my secrets is you,” you sing, joining along. “So I’m even more thankful.”
“Sometimes when you get tired, and I see you crying with your head down, I don't know what to do. What can I do?”
You’re both belting it out at the top of your lungs by the time it gets to the chorus, and you think the sun has somehow moved inside the car with how bright and warm you feel.
My love only amounts to this. But thank you for staying by my side, my baby.
Your car charges down the road, trailing laughter and joy in its wake, and your chest feels light for the first time in weeks.
Even if my love only amounts to this. I'll be your umbrella in the rain. I'll protect you on all your days.
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Jimin, Maya, and Jungkook meet you in the hotel lobby—a marble behemoth with wrought iron staircases and sofas that definitely cost more than your rent—and you all line up to check in, gawking at the elaborate chandelier that hangs above your heads.
“How did they even afford this place?” Jimin wonders.
Maya sucks her teeth. “At this rate? I think they might have mob ties.”
“Feet pics,” Jungkook says simply.
Once everyone has obtained their key cards, you set off to find your rooms. You’re all on the same floor since a certain section was booked specifically for the wedding, but with you having a room with only a single queen-sized bed, you’re down the hall and away from the others who booked doubles.
While Jimin, Maya, and Jungkook break off to get acclimated in their own respective rooms, Taehyung follows you into yours with a touch of melancholy, your luggage slung over his shoulder.
“Are you sure you’re fine here alone?” he asks, setting your bag on the ground. “I can room with you if you’d like. I’m sure Kook wouldn’t mind.”
“There’s only one bed,” you point out, blushing.
Taehyung also goes slightly pink. “Well yeah, but the other week we just…or I can take the couch. Or we can ask Kook to swap rooms?”
“It’s okay,” you say. “I’m alone at the apartment all the time anyway.”
He nods, looking oddly shot down. “Alright. But if you change your mind, just ask.”
“Unlikely,” you tease with a wrinkle of your nose. “You snore.”
He gasps, feigning hurt. “I do not.”
He doesn’t. But you still tilt your head solemnly, pressing your lips together as if preparing to deliver bad news. “You do.”
“Shit,” he sighs before the two of you break down in giggles.
A few hours later, the five of you wind up at the resort’s restaurant for dinner, lamenting the exorbitant prices but enjoying an incredible meal. The night dwindles down as you settle in at the bar, figuring you can have a couple drinks before resting up for tomorrow’s big day. With a wall of floor-to-ceiling windows, you have a perfect view of the lake outside and the glow of the sunset spreading out above the trees. It tints the room orange, seeping onto every surface, including Taehyung’s forearms resting atop the bar.
You trace his veins with your eyes, study the way they trail to his hands curled lightly around his low ball glass. Your friends are talking about plans for tomorrow, but you’re not paying much attention; you’re far more interested in trying to figure out when your best friend’s arms started looking like that.
“And don’t worry, Chim. If I have the chance to get lucky, I’ll make sure not to use our room,” Maya says, placing a hand over her heart in pledge. “No locking you out because I’m a good friend.”
But Jungkook has tensed up next to you, and in spite of the cute pout of his lips, the creasing of his forehead suggests that he’s genuinely upset. “Hook-up? You’re going to find a hook-up?”
Maya looks at him incredulously, drink paused halfway to her lips. “Possibly. Aren’t you?”
“I…” His teeth bite into his lip. “It’s a wedding.”
She barks out a devilish laugh. ���So? When has that ever stopped you?” A spiteful glare is sent his way that even has you shrinking behind him in secondhand shame. “Since when do you have morals?”
Taehyung’s knee squeezes against yours under the bar—a warning, probably, but your brain momentarily becomes fixated on the weight of it, on how nice it feels to have his warmth pressed against you. It’s not until he taps a finger against your thigh, signaling with his eyes at the sullen man behind you, that you pass on the touch, giving Jungkook’s elbow a gentle nudge in support and encouragement. He takes a quick look at you with sad, vulnerable eyes, and you’re reminded of how flustered he’d been during your conversation a few weeks ago.
“I was actually thinking,” he begins, more serious than you’ve ever seen him, “that maybe we could go together since neither of us have dates.”
Maya snorts, setting her drink down firmly on the countertop. “Why, so you can ditch me halfway through for the first woman that flutters her eyelashes at you? No thanks.”
Jungkook physically recoils like he’s been slapped, the force sending him back so far that he practically winds up in your lap. “You really think I would do that?”
His voice is tiny, hurt dripping from every syllable, and it makes Maya finally look up, face dropping as she seems to realize the wounds she’s inflicted upon him.
Her brows draw together, and she opens her mouth to say something but is interrupted by the bartender popping up to ask if anyone needs a refill. By the time he leaves, the moment’s passed, and Jungkook briskly stands up, throwing some money down on the bar.
“I’m done. See you guys tomorrow.” And he strides out towards the hotel lobby.
You hop to your feet, shaking your head at Maya. “That was uncalled for.”
She looks guilty but says nothing, rubbing a finger along the rim of her glass, and you follow Jungkook out, calling his name as he approaches the elevators.
“Jungkook!”
He spins to face you with a frown, thumbs hooked in his pants pockets like he’s trying to look casual, but his eyes betray his discomfort. “What?”
“She didn’t mean that,” you say, slightly breathless from your jog across the lobby. “I know she didn’t.”
“Sure she did. That’s who she is. Always speaks her mind.” He shrugs, shirt rippling over his shoulders. “It’s fine. I don’t care.”
“Don’t you though?” you ask. “You’re not a bad guy, Kook. You deserve simple respect at least.”
“Maybe I don’t.” The elevator dings, and he steps inside, turning back to you with a final sad smile. “Night, Y/N.”
A sense of dread taps into the back of your skull, fear that your original inkling on this relationship was perhaps correct. Though you’ve since warmed up to the idea of Maya and Jungkook as a potential couple, it was this exact tension that you were worried about—their fire and gasoline dynamic harboring implications that could blow up your entire friend group.
Taehyung strolls up next to you as the doors roll shut, sighing as he comes to a stop. “He okay?”
“No, but don’t try telling him that.”
He purses his lips. “I had a quick talk with Maya. Reminded her that just because she’s had bad experiences with guys in the past doesn’t give her the right to take it out on him.”
“Good,” you say. “She probably needed to hear it.”
A nod as he assesses your figure and asks, “Are you coming back to the bar? I already covered your tab.”
“Oh, I’ll pay you back—“
“Don’t worry about it,” he says. “You can make it up to me a different time.”
You smirk at him, stepping closer. “How about I roll it into your Christmas present?”
“Deal.”
You let out a soft laugh, and he offers to walk you up, pressing the button to call the elevator back. The two of you chat about nothing in particular as you make your way to the third floor, commenting on the ridiculously patterned carpet in the halls and laughing about the strangely risqué photos that you noticed hanging in the rooms.
When you arrive at your door, you swipe your key card over the sensor, turning the light from red to green and wishing Taehyung goodnight, but he loops his fingers around your wrist to lightly tug you back.
“Y/N.” He curls his bottom lip over his teeth, head dipping towards the ground in a shy smile as he searches for his words. “I’m…really looking forward to tomorrow. It’s going to be fun.”
He’s adorable; he truly is. Seventeen years of affection, and he still finds ways to endear you to him even more, bits of gold from the lamps catching on the browns of his eyes as he stands before you.
“It is,” you say, tongue tied around your own apprehension. He hums and looks like he wants to say more—tangles his fingers in front of him and chews on his lip as he fidgets. But after a moment passes—you still stuck on his eyes—he jerks his chin down in a nod, says goodnight, and leaves you standing at your door in confusion, taking one look back as he swipes his own key card down the hall and disappears into his room.
You enter your own space with your mind whirling, not sure what the hell just happened but also sure that you’re not upset about it. And once you’ve gone through your bedtime routine and settled in for the night, you fall asleep thinking about brown eyes and shy smiles, welcoming the most restful sleep you’ve had in weeks.
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You awake to the sound of Maya knocking on your door promptly at 9am with her suitcase in hand, casually making her way to your bed when you let her in and picking up the hotel menu from the side table while you stare at her. "What are you doing?" "We are going to order room service and watch some shitty TV, and then I am going to help you get you ready for your date." "It's not a date," you say on impulse, though you're internally tamping down the involuntary flutter that's tickling your stomach. "If it's anything, it's a guy taking pity on his unexpectedly-single friend." "Pity date then." She says it with a nonchalant wave of her hand and doesn't give you the chance to speak when you open your mouth to protest. "Y/N, please, just give me the chance to make his jaw drop. If there really is nothing there like you say there is, then what's the harm?" The harm, you think to yourself, is the tingling feeling that's been increasing in intensity when you've been around Taehyung recently, warmth flooding your body at just the thought of him. Your brain has been desperately explaining it away, chalking it up to years of familiarity and comfort being stoked by the emotional trauma which (you're quick to remind yourself) you're still working through. No, Y/N, I don’t have feelings for you. It's these thoughts that, in the end, have you acquiescing as Maya lets out a joyful squeal. At the very least, you make your friend happy and get some well-deserved girl bonding time. Really, what's the harm?
The idea has barely finished running through your mind when you’re already beginning to regret it and wondering what the hell you just got yourself into. Maya wheels her entire suitcase to the foot of your bed and pulls out no less than seven bags of make-up, a curling iron, hairspray, four different brushes, and a straightener.
“Are you doing the entire wedding party after this?” you ask incredulously. “Why did you bring so much?”
“Needed to be ready for anything,” she says, organizing her tools into neat rows. “When I’m done with you, every straight man and half the women will be falling at your feet.”
Your face heats, and you subconsciously rub at your arm. “That’s really not necessary.”
“Okay, then just one man.” She raises her arms, fingers arranged into a square through which she peers at you like she’s sizing you up for a photograph. “Hmm, where should we start?”
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You and Maya make your way to the resort's event hall a little while before the ceremony is scheduled to begin. Seating doesn't seem to have opened yet as guests mill about the entryway, the buzz of conversation filling the space above your heads, and the two of you pause at the top of the stairs to see if you can spot your friends. "I think Kook's got a purple tie," she says, peering around. "And you know what he's wearing why?" you ask, but she ignores you. "Oh, look, there they are." Maya's goal may have been to get Taehyung's jaw to drop, but you're left stunned when you look over to where he's standing with Jimin and Jungkook, the now-familiar tingle rippling through your veins once again. His black suit is perfectly tailored, accentuating his broad shoulders and narrow waist, emerald green tie wrapped around his neck to match the color of your dress as promised. He's slicked his hair back and away from his eyes so you're able to see how they nervously dart between Jimin and Jungkook, clearly not listening to whatever it is they're enthusiastically saying. Actually, once you look more closely, everything about his body language screams nerves for some reason, his hands moving back and forth to play with the hems of his jacket before smoothing the lapels over and over again. Maya waves, grabbing Jimin's attention, and you watch as he grins at the two of you before leaning in to say something to Taehyung, pointing at where you're standing. Maybe, you think, just maybe you appreciate Maya's plan from this morning after Taehyung glances up at you. His incessantly-moving fingers finally still—halfway through re-adjusting his tie—and his perfect Cupid's-bow-lips pop open, eyes wide as he soaks you in in your floor-length gown. Maya’s worked your hair into loose curls cascading over your shoulders and bare back, and while you convinced her to not go wild with the make-up, she strong-armed you into agreeing to a deep red lipstick that’s only accentuated by the green of your dress. A smug cough comes from your right (clearly Maya's pleased with her work) as you descend the stairs and approach the trio of men. Jimin and Jungkook greet you brightly while Taehyung still looks mildly concussed, continuing to stare at you with his mouth half-open. "Alright there, Tae?" you ask, reaching up to adjust and smooth out his tie, messy from where his hands had frozen on it.
The pads of your fingers are hot where they brush against the hard muscle of his chest, and you try not to read too deeply into the pounding of his heart. Taehyung makes a weird noise akin to what you'd imagine a drowning fish would sound like, and Jungkook gives him a sharp slap on the back, which seems to knock him out of whatever trance he'd fallen into. "Incredible!" he blurts, and you almost want to laugh at the reset-button-like effect Jungkook's smack seems to have on him. He clears his throat, composing himself further. "I, um—you, I mean. You look incredible." You thank him, ignoring the second wave of smugness that comes from Maya's direction, just as the event staff open the doors and begin ushering guests into the hall. Taehyung offers you his arm, and you gladly take it as he guides you to sit alongside your friends.
The wedding hall is as grandiose as the rest of the hotel, with columns ornamenting the sides of the room and a massive flower arch constituting the altar. You all talk as you wait for the ceremony to begin, admiring the decor (the bright bouquets of red, purple, and blue flowers pop against the stark white of the venue) and trying to see if you recognize any of the guests.
“Oh, there’s Sunny’s cousin Chan,” Maya says, peering out over the room. “Remember we met him at that party one time?”
“Didn’t the two of you drunkenly make-out?” you ask.
Jimin frowns. “I thought they hooked up.”
“No, Y/N is right.” She fixes her hair, oblivious to the way Jungkook is now staring at the man in question, hackles raised. “Wouldn’t say no to that happening again; he was good with his hands. Tae, are you alright? You’re looking at Y/N like she’s sprouted four more arms.”
You swivel your head around to see Taehyung next to you, entirely flushed red above the shoulders. He licks his lips as he meets your eyes, blinking furiously like he’s trying to clear his thoughts. “Sorry, I spaced out.”
“Uh-huh. Sure.” Maya waves a dismissive hand, shuffling her attention to Jimin to ask if he knows about the music choices for the ceremony.
A throat clears on your right. “You do look nice. Really.” Taehyung looks utterly sheepish, his head tilted low as he softly pays you the compliment, and it reminds you of how shy he was last night as well. A butterfly takes flight in your chest, and now you’re the one blushing.
“Thank you. You cleaned up nicely, too,” you reply, and he blinks at you in a way that has you second guessing your words. “Not that you don’t always clean up nicely. And not that you don’t normally look very handsome. Because you do. Look very handsome, I mean. All the time.”
His bashfulness morphs into amusement, lips quirking up in an affectionate smile. “Oh, really?”
Your face heats up even more, mouth opening to respond with you don’t even know what, and you’re grateful when a hush falls over the room, the beginning notes of a wedding march signaling the ceremony’s start.
Hoseok appears first, looking dapper in a full tuxedo and grinning ear-to-ear. He walks down the aisle with long strides like he can’t possibly get to the end fast enough, bouncing on his toes as he settles into his spot.
The officiant is next, followed by Iseul and Seokmin, one of Hoseok’s childhood friends. Hana and Namjoon stroll in arm-in-arm after that, then Yumi and Jiho, and finally, everyone rises to their feet as Sunny appears at the entrance and begins her walk in, gaze finding only her groom.
Just as Sunny reaches the head of the aisle, a teary-eyed Hoseok taking her hands in his, another image, one which had once occupied your mind almost constantly but hadn't plagued you in weeks, takes hold: you and Jace in a similar setting, pledging forever to each other in front of your friends and family.
Maybe you had gotten ahead of yourself—the discovery of the ring box in his desk along with the natural longevity of your relationship sparking your imagination—but in the weeks leading up to your heartbreak, you had allowed your mind to plan—what kind of dress you'd wear, the colors you'd pick out, what you might say in your vows. It seems stupid now, dwelling on a future that's already evaporated into nothingness, but seeing the echoes of your dreams being played out in front of you, it’s like you can feel the sand physically slipping through your fingers.
Right as it starts to become too much, as you feel your chest tighten and heart ache, there's a brush of skin against the side of your hand, and glancing down, you see that Taehyung's reached over to quietly hook his pinky with yours. You turn to face him, but he keeps his eyes directed on the bride and groom, face neutral and unreadable, and you know he's giving you the chance to pull away, no questions asked.
But the gesture has warmth flooding through you, thawing the ice of your previous thoughts, and so you move to slip your hand under his, lacing your fingers and pressing your palms together tightly.
Taehyung looks at you then, a shy smile crinkling his eyes and twisting up the corners of his mouth, and you grin back, the previous ache in your chest replaced with a steady flutter as he begins to skim his thumb back and forth in a gentle caress.
You stay that way for the rest of the ceremony—watching your friends vow eternity to each other, Taehyung's hand tethered with yours.
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Classical music drifts from the speakers at the back of the room as you find your seats for the reception. The ballroom is tremendous, with tall, arched ceilings, a gorgeous chandelier, and a wide dance floor that you’re sure will see a ton of action later. With the tables seating eight, you see that you’ve been placed in a grouping of you, Taehyung, Maya, Jimin, Jungkook, and three of Hoseok’s medical school friends, who introduce themselves as Wonwoo, Joshua, and Mingyu.
Thankfully, your group hits it off immediately. Wonwoo is rather reserved, more an observer of those around him than anything, but Taehyung and Jimin quickly strike up a conversation with Joshua about college after the latter mentions having gone to the same school as you, albeit never crossing paths. Maya and Mingyu, meanwhile, immediately fall into their own introductions, talking about how they know Hoseok and Mingyu’s studies to become a doctor.
“If you ever need a headshot or something, let me know,” Maya says, laying a hand on his arm. Across the table, Jungkook's head shoots up. “I do work as a photographer and would be happy to help.”
“Oh, really?” Mingyu makes no move to remove her hand; if anything, he shifts even closer. “What are your rates?”
“For you? Free of charge. Any friend of Hoseok is a friend of mine.” They're in their own little bubble now, Jungkook watching wide-eyed. “Besides, you'd be doing me a favor. With a face like that, you're a photographer's dream. Perfect model.”
Mingyu smirks. “A face like what?”
“Dangerously handsome.”
“HEY, WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANT TO SPECIALIZE IN?”
Jungkook practically screams it, and not only do Maya and Mingyu turn to look at him in bewilderment, but so does the rest of the table and a few guests in the neighboring seats.
Joshua clears his throat awkwardly, eying Jungkook like he might be rabid. “I’m trying for pediatrics.”
“Surgery,” Wonwoo says.
Maya turns towards her new companion. “What about you, Mingyu?”
He leans back in his chair. Gives a light tug on his tie. “I have a residency lined up in obstetrics and gynecology.”
“Oh, you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me—”
“Jungkook,” Taehyung says, cutting him off as he slides his chair back from the table. “Why don’t you help me get a round of drinks?”
“But—“
“C’mon.” He says it gently, like he’s trying to coax a toddler, and rises to his feet, giving you a gentle tap on the shoulder as he goes. “Cosmo?”
“Yes, please,” you say, and he nods, dropping a quick wink your way as Jungkook joins him, grumbling under his breath.
Joshua watches them walk away in the direction of the bar. “Is he always this…”
“Annoying?” Maya scoffs.
“Transparent.” Wonwoo quietly smirks.
A gentle laugh sounds on your left as Jimin hears. “I don’t know that anyone has ever described Jungkook as subtle in his life.”
Maya frowns, Mingyu looking downright perplexed at her side. “I don’t think I quite understand what’s going on,” he begins, but Maya soothes him with another press of her hand to his arm.
“Don’t worry about him. It doesn’t matter,” she says. “Tell me more about your residency.”
The reception passes in a swirl of music and drinks and food—and oh goodness, the food. Plates heaped with calamari, crab legs, and tiny filets wrapped in bacon are placed at the table by wait staff as your group digs in. Even Jungkook is placated, no longer scowling at Maya and Mingyu.
"Ughhh, I am never eating this well again," Jimin groans, stretching back in his chair and giving an exaggerated rub to his belly.
"You'd best get ready to," Taehyung says from your other side. "This isn't even dinner."
"This isn't even dinner?!"
Dinner turns out to be just as delicious and lavish as the appetizers, and it's no surprise that once dancing starts, your friends opt to stay seated for a while longer talking and digesting. As the party climbs to a full swing, Mingyu asks Maya to dance, Jimin and Jungkook start a debate on whether the butt is one body part or two, and Taehyung excuses himself to the restroom.
“It’s one part that’s split!” Jimin loudly exclaims. “The top is connected!”
“Jimin, go home, stand in front of the mirror, and pull your right ass cheek up. See if your left cheek comes up with it, and then get back to me, you absolute clown.”
“Do they do this a lot?” Joshua asks, the two idiots arguing between you.
“At least once a month.” You take a sip of your drink as you look on, bored. “I’m pretty sure this one is a rerun from last Halloween.”
“It’s one,” Wonwoo says, amused.
A flash of green catches your eye, and you look up to see Taehyung standing by the side of the bar, speaking with a woman. She's about your age, you think, and pretty, wearing a low-cut dress that certainly accentuates her chest.
She and Taehyung are talking excitedly, and you can tell he's putting the charm on—eyes bright, signature boxy smile lighting up his face. Nausea simmers in the pit of your stomach, and you force your attention back towards Jimin and Jungkook, trying to focus on whatever nonsense they're debating now.
This isn't a “date-date,” you remind yourself. And Taehyung hasn't had a relationship in a year—not since he was so torn up after Luna. He deserves to meet someone.
You’re spaced out next to your friends, still only halfway listening to them jabber on about butt cheeks, when a slow song starts up over the speakers and, within seconds, a hand is being extended over your shoulder.
You look up to find Taehyung's eyes gazing steadily down at you, a small but confident smile playing on his lips.
"Dance with me?"
And in spite of the unease that had plagued you only moments ago, you don't hesitate to let him wrap up your small hand in his large one and lead you to the dance floor. His palm settles on your lower back to pull you in close, and maybe it’s the proximity or the intoxicating smell of his cologne that weakens your resolve, but you find the words spilling out.
"Did you get her number?"
Taehyung looks at you quizzically, brow furrowing in confusion. "Whose?"
"The woman at the bar."
His face relaxes as he realizes. "Oh, yeah. I did."
"Good." You manage a smile. Why does it feel so hard? "It really is…good you're getting back out there. Are you going to ask her on a date?"
He laughs, mischief in his eyes. "I don't think her fiancé would like that." And now it's your turn to look confused.
"Her fiancé?"
"I met the two of them through Hoseok a couple times so we've chatted. Nice people." He nods his head, and you look over to see the woman now dancing with a man not too far from you. "They just got engaged, and she knows I'm a photographer so she asked if I'd be interested in doing the wedding. I said I'd call her this week to talk about it."
"Oh." You can feel your face flush, but there's no doubting the relief that floods through you. And Taehyung surely notices, grinning down at you in amusement.
"Were you jealous?"
"No!" you say, but perhaps a little too quickly because Taehyung laughs, his fingers applying a gentle pressure to your back to pull you closer.
"I'm here with you," he murmurs matter-of-factly.
You shake your head at him. "It's fine, Tae. If someone catches your eye…like I said, it could be good—"
"I'm here with you," he repeats, more firmly this time. He releases your hand for a moment to tuck a stray curl behind your ear, and you have to look away. You spot Hoseok and Sunny swaying together in the middle of the dance floor, pressed closely together and smiling at each other like they're the only two people in the world. What it must be like to have someone look at you like that, you think, to hold you like you're something precious to be cherished. You had thought Jace made you feel that way, but now, watching your friends gaze at each other so delicately, so in love, you're no longer sure he even came close.
"What are you looking at?" Taehyung's voice rouses you out of your thoughts, and you suddenly notice his hand has drifted a little higher to where the back of your dress dips down low, exposing your bare skin.
Trying to pass off the shiver that involuntarily runs through you as a nod, you gesture at the newly married couple. "They're so good together."
Taehyung follows your line of sight, watching Hoseok lean down to murmur something in Sunny's ear that makes her giggle and press her face into his chest. "They are."
"Can you imagine loving someone like that?" Your voice is a bare whisper as if the words slipped out on their own accord, like a wish you didn't even realize you were making.
Taehyung's fingers splay at your spine, gently tugging you in until your hips are bumping his. Startled, your eyes snap back to him, breath catching in your chest. He's gazing at you intently, but as opposed to the intense fire that you've seen from him at times, there's only a deep warmth to his brown irises that you're not sure you've ever seen before. He looks at you with softness, with both a sense of familiarity and wonder that can only be attributed to your many years of companionship, and you see it all swimming behind his eyes—every day spent together seeking refuge from your families, every stupid childhood fight, every time you comforted each other through the bad days. And before you can deflect, can explain away the question as a rhetorical slip of the tongue, you hear his answer come out on a breath.
"Yes."
There’s a weight to it, the word landing from his lips like a stone into water, and you suddenly forget where you are. The world around you fades away: faces, music, and noise all receding into the background until it’s just him and you, you and him.
Just like it’s always been.
Taehyung's head dips towards you as if pulled by gravity, and your body responds in turn, hand sliding from his shoulder to the hair at the nape of his neck and eyes fluttering shut. Your breaths mingle together, his nose lightly brushing against yours, and you find yourself on the brink of keening forward, on the brink of diving headfirst into a place of no return, when—
"Hey, we're going to step outside for some air. Do you guys wanna—oh."
You spring apart. Jimin is staring at the two of you, eyes so wide you're worried they might fall out of his head. His hand is still half-raised, pointing in the direction of the doors behind him, and you use this to make your escape.
"Yeah sounds good I'll come outside definitely," you babble before speeding towards the exit. Glancing back over your shoulder, you see Jimin say something animatedly to Taehyung, but the latter shakes his head and mumbles something back, his face pink.
The night air is cool on your skin, and you could not be more grateful for it because what the fuck was that?
Were you really about to kiss your best friend? Or was he going to kiss you? Things had certainly been…different between you two recently, but this surely would have been an awful idea. If something went wrong or there was a misunderstanding, you'd likely never be able to come back from it.
He said he doesn't have feelings for you.
…But do you have feelings for him?
Maybe yes, his smile has always set your heart alight unlike anything else and yes, your brain seems to have been lingering recently on how damn handsome he is and yes, you'd do anything for him at the drop of a hat—follow him anywhere—but given your history, of course you would, right? He's your best friend.
And he deserves to be more than a rebound. Because that's what this must be—lingering heartbreak amplified by the emotions of a wedding. You may have even imagined Taehyung leaning towards you, a desperate fantasy of a mind just wanting to be loved.
That's it, you decide. Your brain must have finally snapped into a world of delusion.
You're so caught up in your thoughts that you don't hear Jungkook approach you, practically jumping out of your skin when he places a gentle hand on your arm.
"Y/N—shit—you okay?" He looks at you with his big doe eyes wide and apologetic.
"Yeah," you say, as your racing heart begins to calm. "You just startled me."
"Sorry, I tried to call you, but I don't think you heard. We're back over there if you want to join us." He nods his head in the direction of a patio area behind him, and you spot Namjoon, Joshua, and Wonwoo sitting around a table next to an elegant fountain, its ornamental lights illuminating the magnificent swan sitting atop it. They’re all laughing and, for some reason, the sight makes your chest tighten.
"Um, maybe in a little bit. I think I might just need a walk right now."
Jungkook studies you, biting ever so slightly into his bottom lip, and you think you see something in the way of understanding behind his eyes (you wonder if it has anything to do with the notable absence of Maya and Mingyu). "Do you want company?"
When you just give him a small smile and shake your head, he nods.
"Okay, well…you know where to find us." He moves to rejoin the others, but then turns back towards you, taking easy steps on his heels. "And just shout if you need a friend."
You meander around the outside of the hotel, following the stone path that paves its way around the perimeter. There's a certain kind of peace out here. Though the summer is nearing its close, you can still hear crickets chirping in the grass and spot the occasional firefly dangling in the air. You focus on the swishing of the cars out on the main road and try to let the sound clear your mind, but as you settle on a short brick wall overlooking the property's enormous lake, you realize it's no use.
Your eyes drift closed as you sink into the grief once again, let it slowly overtake you like quicksand until your lungs are crushed and burning. But more than anything, you’re simply exhausted—perpetually drained by the demons which have once again arrived to feast on your psyche.
At this point, you think most of your frustration lies with yourself. Maybe you’re being overdramatic, maybe you should be over it by now—if only you were stronger, more resilient. Not the miserable pushover you feel you’ve turned out to be. Harsh? Yes. Unfair? Perhaps. This does feel like the breaking point in your life’s long line of abandonments, digging up feelings you haven’t felt since you were a child.
But that being said, it also makes you feel like you should be used to it by now. Should be used to having to bounce back—what else can you expect from the world at this point, really? What a fool you were to even think that this time would be different.
The sound of quiet footsteps has you opening your eyes again, and you’re not sure whether the man in front of you is the first or last person you want to see right now.
Taehyung has his hands in his pockets, watching you with that calculated expression he always has on when he’s trying to gauge your mood. But all you can see in his face on your end is concern, not a hint of awkwardness or trepidation after what just transpired between the two of you in the ballroom.
So it really must have been all in your head.
“Are you okay?” he asks. “Kook said you seemed upset.”
“I’m fine.” You try to push out a smile, but he unsurprisingly sees right through it, closing the gap between you and gesturing at the spot to your right.
“Mind if I sit?”
You’re still not entirely in the mood for company but you can’t bring yourself to say no to him, so you give the tiniest of nods and Taehyung settles on the wall next to you.
The two of you sit in silence for a bit, the buzz of the surrounding trees continuing its serenade. Taehyung doesn’t push, doesn’t say anything, only provides a steady presence. On particularly bad days when you were kids, you’d both wander down to the local playground and sit on the swings for a while. Sometimes you’d talk—either to rant and let it all out or make each other laugh to distract yourselves—but most nights, you’d just sit in the quiet and enjoy the feeling of not being alone.
It feels like that now, with Taehyung’s warmth radiating at your shoulder and the stars hanging above, but tonight, you’re compelled to speak.
“I’m really pathetic, huh?”
Taehyung’s eyes flash as he looks over at you, but he doesn’t interrupt, sensing you want to say more.
“I’m at my friends’ wedding, I’m supposed to be celebrating them and their love for each other, and instead I’m out here having a pity party.” You scoff. “It’s pathetic and selfish.”
“First of all, we are out here having a pity party,” Taehyung begins, and it draws a sudden laugh from you that you think sounds halfway deranged, but he only smiles.
"Secondly, you're not pathetic, and you're not selfish. You just went through a traumatic event, you know? You're allowed to have emotions."
"I know, but I just don't…want to," you sigh. "I just want it all to stop. I'm so tired of feeling weighed down especially on a day like this, but it's like it just doesn't end. The reminders don't end."
"You thought he'd be here," Taehyung says softly, and though his head nods slightly in understanding, his voice is tinged with sadness. "You miss him."
"I—that's not exactly it, no," you quickly say, not wanting him to think that you somehow regret being here with him. "Given what he did…like you’ve said, it's not forgivable, so it's not like I wish he was here. I mean, sure, are there some days where I reflexively think about him and stuff? Of course—we were together for four years—but I…still would prefer to never see him again."
Taehyung lets out a short sigh that you interpret as approval, but he stays quiet, giving you time to work out your thoughts.
"I think it's more the loss of security than anything. Seeing Hoseok and Sunny up at the alter…I couldn't help thinking that I was so, so close to that—to having that one person that I could commit to walking through life with. A partner, a friend, just someone to have day-in and day-out. Forever." You choke up, a fresh wave of tears lodging in your throat that you try to keep down. Taehyung is stiff next to you, staring down at his hands in his lap.
"And I want that, Tae. I want that so bad. But it's…so scary to start from scratch after feeling that close. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm just constantly overwhelmed and feel like I can't outrun it, and then I feel guilty on days like this because I shouldn't be letting it get to me, and—"
"Hey, hey, Y/N, shhhh." Taehyung finally jumps in as you begin to spiral, reaching out to take your hand in his. "You don't have to worry or feel guilty because you are going to have all of that. Okay? You will."
"You can't know that."
"I do." He slips his pinky around yours briefly before his hand comes up to cup your jaw, guiding your eyes to his. "I promise you. I don't know how far out it'll be, but one day we'll all be together again at a place like this, and it'll be your turn." He gets a faraway look in his eye, seemingly perceiving something that you're struggling to even grab a glimpse of right now. "It'll be everything you've ever dreamed of—intimate and outdoors, right? I know you always said growing up that you were going to get married at the Spring Day Gardens. If you still want it, it'll be yours."
You let his words draw you in, painting you a picture so beautiful you're afraid to even let your heart believe in it. But his baritone voice presses on.
"And it'll be perfect. Not a cloud in the sky—nothing but sunshine. And we'll all be there, and you'll have your favorite lily bouquet and your perfect dress…"
Something stops him, and he blinks at you, dropping his palm from your face and glancing away at the lights from the party before resuming his tale.
"And the guy…" He licks his lips, and you feel the hand that's still holding yours tighten ever so slightly. "He's going to love you so much. Properly love you. He's going to see you come down that aisle and weep because he's just going to know that he's the luckiest guy in the universe. And if he doesn't cry right away, I'll kick him in the shins up there until he does because in spite of what Jimin and Jungkook think, we all know that I'm actually your best man."
You let out a watery giggle, the tears flowing freely now, and Taehyung reaches up to swipe a few off your cheeks, letting out a chuckle of his own.
"I want to believe you," you say quietly. "And hopefully one day I will. I just…I need more time."
"Whatever you need, you know I'm here for you," he murmurs, and you nod.
You fall back into silence for a few moments, Taehyung dutifully continuing to hold your hand while you lightly sniffle and wipe at your cheeks.
"I don't know how I'm supposed to go back to the party like this—I think you ruined my make-up," you joke, trying to lighten the mood.
"Maybe, but you're the prettiest raccoon I've ever seen."
You laugh in earnest now, your shoulders shaking with it, and Taehyung smiles at you before suddenly rising to his feet.
"Wait here," he says, and then he's jogging back up towards the venue.
The silence envelops you again as you continue to mull over Taehyung's vision. Your battered heart is hesitant to dream, all of your imaginings coming in with fuzzy edges and blurry details that you just can't seem to place. But you're sure Taehyung was definitely right about one thing—you can't imagine a situation where you get married without him standing by your side.
It's a handful of minutes later when the man himself finally reappears with a hand behind his back and a mischievous smile on his face. When you raise your eyebrows at him in question, he comes to a halt in front of you and presents a full fifth of your favorite whiskey.
"What do you say we get out of here?"
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The dim hotel lights cast a soft glow about the room as you and Taehyung pass the bottle back and forth, the mood significantly more casual than the extravagant party you just ditched. The decor may be fancy—Hoseok and Sunny certainly didn’t skimp when it came to location—but the two of you are perfectly rumpled, stretched out on the expensive sheets: you having removed your make-up and changed into your pajamas and Taehyung propped up against the headboard with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, his jacket and tie tossed over the couch.
You’ve started up a game of Truth or Drink, a somewhat milder version of Truth or Dare, where you get to take turns asking each other questions, and the respondent has the chance to either answer the question or take a mouthful of whiskey. Normally, between you and Taehyung, such a game would be low stakes, with your shared years and few secrets between you making it hard to ask challenging questions. But something about tonight and the need for a distraction seems to have made both of you competitive, going for questions that you know the other wouldn’t want to answer.
“What was the last thing you cried about?”
“One thing you don’t like about me?”
“Favorite position?”
“Did you really lose your virginity in a tree house?”
“What’s your greatest fear?”
"If you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be?"
"Oh God, one of those cupcakes from Sweet Night Bakery," you groan. It was a place you had passed every day on the way to school, the wafting scents of cookies and cakes playing pied piper to your youthful noses. You had always dreamed of one day being able to afford the expensive pastries but had fled your hometown before having the adult money to do so.
"Seriously? Anything in the world and you want a cupcake?" Taehyung laughs, pink tongue poking out from behind his teeth.
"It's not just anything, it's one of my life's dreams," you counter, playfully shaking a fist at him for emphasis, but Taehyung seems unconvinced. "Fine then, if you have such a good answer. Same question."
He tilts his head at you, a mild haze in his eyes that tells you that while he's not drunk-drunk, he's definitely tipsy. A beat passes and he takes a drink.
"Ooh, mysterious," you slur. "But I win."
"Alright, alright." He grins at you. "I concede to your sugary dreams."
You mirror his smile, observe the way his fingers curl in his lap as you try to think of your next question. He’s always had nice hands—so delicate and careful with everything he touches. It’s odd, you think, how such gentleness could emerge from a home and upbringing that was anything but. How someone as bright as Taehyung could come from such darkness.
“Do you want kids one day?”
The question takes him by surprise when you ask it, and he physically startles, turning the bottle in his hands slowly. “I don’t know. Why?” He looks at you then, and you feel like you can see a riddle being worked out in his head. “Where did that question come from?”
“I don’t know,” you echo. “You spent so much time earlier imagining a future for me. I realized that we’ve never really talked about what you want for yourself outside of your career.”
Growing up, you’d discussed your dreams for the future, of course. But while you have always skewed towards the romantic, envisioning rings and weddings and vows, Taehyung’s always been much more practical and career-oriented—his plans always involved degrees and promotions and retirement funds.
A beat passes as he continues to fidget with the whiskey bottle before he again says, “I’m really not sure.”
“Well think about it now,” you challenge. “Or drink up.”
He chuckles to himself, some private joke in his head. “It would terrify me, I think. But I’d love them with everything I’ve got. Want to give them everything I didn’t have and be better than my parents were.”
You hum in agreement; you’ve had the same thoughts on occasion. Some who grew up in your situation may have been turned off the idea of children—and the idea does scare you in certain respects—but you’ve always been stubborn. “It’d be a chance to prove that it doesn’t have to be that hard. That you didn’t deserve what you went through.”
Fingers graze against yours in a subtle show of kinship. As always, you understand each other. “Exactly.”
And he may be struggling to imagine it, but you can see it so clearly: a small boy with big, brown eyes and a boxy smile riding on Taehyung’s shoulders. The two of them playing in the sand at the beach house or walking down the street together—the boy’s tiny hand tucked safely in his father’s.
The image chokes you up, fills you with so much warmth you think you might burst.
“You’d be an amazing father, Tae.”
There’s not a single doubt in your mind about it—that this incredible, thoughtful, selfless man would also be a wonderful dad. He doesn’t look so sure, but a flicker of recognition passes through him.
“You’ve said that to me once before,” he murmurs.
“I did?”
A nod. “One time when you were drunk junior year.”
You don’t remember it, the memory lost to the alcohol. “I guess drunk me has flashes of brilliance.”
“Maybe we’ll see someday.”
“I hope we will.”
Suddenly nervous, he swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing in the long column of his neck. “But it’d have to be with the right person.”
“Has there ever been anyone who you thought was close?”
He raises an eyebrow at you. “You’re asking a disproportionate amount of questions.”
Reaching over, you pull the bottle from his hands, drink down a mouthful of burning liquor, and set it right back in his lap. “Answer.”
Wide eyes appraise you through the dim light; he looks almost impressed. “No.”
“No, there’s never been someone you could see a future with, or no, you won’t answer?”
“The first one,” he says. “I’ve never been with someone I could imagine having kids with.”
You frown, the blunt despondence in his tone cutting. “Not even Luna?”
A look is thrown your way—pursed lips and creased brow telling you that’s a stupid question.
“What happened with her?”
He scoffs, lips immediately wrapping around the bottle as he takes a gulp.
“So something did happen.”
“We broke up,” he states. “That’s what happened.”
“Yeah, but you’ve never said why.”
He shrugs as if it’s no big deal. As if you’ve just asked him what he wants for dinner and not why the longest relationship of his life ended. “We weren’t compatible.”
You can’t help but sigh, a small part of you hurt that he still refuses to talk about it, that he’s closed this part of himself off to you. “You don’t trust me?”
“Y/N, no.” He shakes his head, looking genuinely remorseful to have given you that impression. “That’s not it. It’s just…impossibly complicated—“
“Was it me?” You’re suddenly reminded of a conversation with Maya from weeks ago, when she’d suggested that you were the reason all of Taehyung’s relationships had failed.
His lips part, tongue pushing into his cheek like he’s trying to hold words back.
“It was, wasn’t it?” you push, and his teeth dig into his tongue now, chewing. “You can tell me. I can handle i—“
“You were part of it, yes.”
In spite of what you’ve just said, the words land like a blow. You’ve spent years watching him go through breakup after breakup, and now you find out that you were a source of that anguish all along—helped fuel that heartbreak in his life.
It pains you to think you’ve been holding him back.
“Why didn’t you tell me before?” you whisper.
“Because there was nothing to tell. It didn’t matter.”
“It does matter, Tae. If I’m getting in the way of your relationships…I want you to be happy.”
“You make me happy.”
That silences you, the sincerity in his voice leaving you blinking at him, and he continues.
“She didn’t like how close we are—most of them haven’t. But it doesn’t matter because at the end of the day, I’ll always choose you. And that’s the end of it. Nothing left to tell.”
You feel like you should protest this, insist on him putting himself and his future first.
But given similar circumstances, wouldn’t you do the same for him?
“Did Jace ever give you shit about us?” he asks, reading your mind.
He had, ranting about Taehyung that night in some fucked up attempt to explain away why you’d found him in bed with another woman. Before then, you hadn’t noticed the signs: hadn’t picked up on his reluctance to spend time with your friends, hadn’t read into the way he stuck close to your side on the rare occasions he did, a possessive arm always tight around your waist.
It all made sense afterwards, and you hate that the vulnerability and anguish of the moment made you question your own actions. You never would’ve shut Taehyung out—never in a million years—but it initially made you think that maybe if you’d been more attentive towards Jace, had been more sensitive to his feelings, that maybe you wouldn’t have wound up in the situation you did.
You recognize now that he didn’t deserve it in the end, obviously, but heartbreak is a funny thing.
Not wanting to have to admit to any of that out loud, you whisk the bottle from Taehyung’s hands again and drink. He watches the movement of your throat with heavy, knowing eyes, immediately taking the whiskey back for his own sip once you’ve finished.
“I must admit,” he says, the alcohol clearly loosening his tongue as he sags against the headboard. “I’m a little relieved about things ending for you and Jace. Aside from him being a certified douchebag, I mean.”
You frown, not sure where he’s going with this, and the look on your face must come across as offense because he’s quick to clarify.
“Not that I liked seeing you hurt.” He shakes his head, and you can see some anger at the situation still lingering under the surface. “No, never. But I just…now I get to keep you longer at least.”
“Keep me?”
“Yeah, this…” He wags a finger between you. “You know this has to end one day, right?”
The whiskey should be warming, but your veins fill with ice at his words. Losing Jace was one thing. Losing Taehyung would be a different matter entirely.
“You’re always going to have me,” you say, reaching for his pinky.
But he pulls his hand away.
“Not like this.” He smiles with what you assume to be intended comfort, but his entire demeanor is tainted with sadness. “One day, when you have the dream guy and the family and the white picket fence, there won’t be room for me. Not like this.”
It feels like earlier—him trying to paint you a picture of a possible future for you—but unlike earlier, you can’t picture this future. You don’t want it. Not if he’s not there.
“Tae—“
“It’s okay, Y/N.” He gives another sad smile, takes another drink. “No husband is going to want a third wheel hanging around. I understand. I want you to be happy, too.”
But you wouldn’t be happy without him, and in many ways, you’ve always known that to be true. But that knowledge hits you now with such force, such raw truth, that it renders you speechless and leaves you staring at him, drunken eyes laser-focused as if discovering the very center of the universe.
You want to challenge him on his statement, make him see that he’s wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. But the alcohol muddles your thoughts, has your brain dropping half-formed sentences through your mind like Scrabble pieces that you can’t quite wrangle into a coherent thought.
Taehyung takes your silence for agreement and, seeming to suddenly realize that some kind of line has just been crossed, takes the quiet opportunity to flip the conversation back to your game.
“The shoes you gave me for my seventeenth birthday,” he begins, the words tipping out slow and oddly calculated for someone who’s had as much to drink as he has. “Where did the money come from?”
You know where he’s going with this. And it’s perhaps the only secret you’ve kept from him in the entirety of your friendship. “Christmas money, I told you.”
“No, really.”
“Why don’t you believe me?”
“I never saw that house decorated for Christmas even once.”
“Could’ve been from an aunt or uncle.”
“But it wasn’t, was it?”
It wasn’t. You snuck the money out of your father’s desk one day knowing that he wouldn’t have even noticed it was missing. Absent-minded in everything aside from work, your father had misplaced things constantly. You drink. And even though it’s supposed to be an avoidance of the question, it gives him his answer.
“I knew it.”
“They weren’t going to miss it, and you needed it more.”
“You could’ve gotten in so much trouble.”
“I knew I wouldn’t. I didn’t. And it was worth the risk regardless.”
Looking back, you wish you’d had more of a fear of getting caught—wish your parents would’ve scolded you, screamed at you, anything. It would’ve been better than the indifference you’d been met with day in and day out. As if you were invisible.
Taehyung’s head swings from side-to-side. “You shouldn’t have. I would’ve been okay.”
“And you shouldn’t have punched Jace in that club, but you did anyway, didn’t you?”
“That’s different.”
“It’s not. You’re not the only one who gets to put your ass on the line for the people you care about. You were worth the risk.”
He blinks, regarding you as if you’ve presented him with some outlandish concept. Like you’ve asked him to explain rocket science or open-heart surgery. “Then you should’ve told me then.”
“You would’ve given them back.”
“Maybe, but then at least we would’ve been in it together instead of you lying to me.”
“And you’ve never lied to me?”
He hesitates, tongue tracing his bottom lip. “No.”
“Okay, then. Truth or drink: what’s the worst lie you’ve ever told?”
You know there must be one, can read it in the way his shoulder is suddenly pressed against yours as he tilts into you. Fingertips skim the bare skin of your knee, tentative in their movements, and you can smell the alcohol on his breath as the distance between you closes to mere centimeters, his gaze roaming your face and snagging on your mouth.
And you feel it—the pull that you’ve always felt towards him, the gravitational force that’s kept you in the same orbit since you were children. Two souls that intertwined the moment they sensed the other’s presence with a flash of awareness and said, You, you, you.
Thinking back on the entirety of your life, you don’t know how you possibly could have made it through without him: your best friend, your partner, your sanctuary. In such a volatile world—a turbulent youth marred by uncertainty and sorrow—he took your hand and held you steady, made sure you didn’t go through it alone.
In hindsight, you can’t truly regret it. Yes, there will always be a part of you that will resent your parents, wish that they would have loved you enough to spare you the hurt and stress they put you through. But just like the night when he brought you back to your apartment—held you close as you fell asleep in his embrace—your memories with him far outweigh the trauma you endured. When you think of your time spent growing up, he is by far the brightest star, outshining any darkness that may have lingered at the corners. It’s not the empty house or your parents’ stony faces that you think of first, but him: blanket forts and starry nights and walks in the park and blurry photographs and sometimes tears, sure, but only with him there to hold you.
Looking at this man in front of you, in every familiar line of his face and body, you know, without a crumb of doubt, that you’d do it all again. Screw Jace and Luna and your parents and anyone else who’s expressed disdain at your closeness with him. He’s written into every line of your history, every memory that’s worth something. And he may fight you on it, but he’s worth every risk you’ve ever taken—you would’ve stolen a thousand pairs of shoes for him. You’d move mountains and drain the oceans if he needed you to. You’d do anything.
You couldn’t live without him. You don’t want to live without him.
A moment of clarity, a wave of revelation as you lock eyes and are met with your favorite color. And at long last, you find the words.
I love you.
Your heart throws itself off a cliff…
And you lean in to press your lips to his.
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NEXT
a/n: happy holidays to all who celebrate 😊
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javierpena-inatacvest · 9 months
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Chapter 14- Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
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Summary: You and Javi celebrate your first Christmas together in Laredo
Word Count: 11.3K (could be worse?)
Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected p in v sex (don't be a fool, wrap your tool), oral (f receiving), face sitting (awh hell yes), creampie, praise kink, breeding kink, mentions of food/eating, mentions of grief/death (but it's sweet), children being assholes (I'm a teacher, I'm allowed to say it), our favorite idiots Carter and Miller making a brief appearance (I missed them), Javi being so sweet with kids (this does deserve a warning, I'm sorry) Javi being so kind, patient, thoughtful, amazing UGH he is too good for this earth 🥹😩
A/N: Thank you for your patience as I finally get this chapter done! Life has been absolutely crazy these past two weeks, so I'm hoping now that things have settled down, I can get back to working on chapters at a more regular schedule 🥴 If you're a Christmas girlie (gender neutral) like me, this chapter is for you, because even though it's only October, I really can't help myself (and like these two idiots celebrating Christmas together for the first time?! C'mon 🥺)
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“So you’re leaving early today to do arts and crafts? That’s a new one.” Agent Miller snickered, leaning over his desk to slap his partner, Agent Carter, in amusement as they watched their boss begin to organize his desk and pack up his briefcase, already rolling his eyes in annoyance at the grief he was about to get from his co-workers for his early departure. 
“I’m not the one doing the arts and crafts. I’m just going into her class to help, you idiot.” Javi sighed, glaring at Miller as he finished sorting the rest of his paperwork piles. 
Last week, you had asked Javi if he would be able to come into your classroom one afternoon when he wasn't busy, to help with the project you were planning for your students to give to their parents as a Christmas gift before they left for winter break. You had quickly realized that for the sake of your sanity,  what you had planned was nowhere near a one man job, and because it was a surprise gift for their families, you didn’t want to ask any parents to come into help. Javi had happily accepted, even with your adamant warnings of the case of Christmas Crazies your class had with only days left before winter break. 
“…. To help do arts and crafts. Just callin’ a spade a spade here, Peña. Does that mean we’re gonna start having craft time here, too?” Miller and Carter chuckled to themselves, smirking at Javi, now slinging his briefcase over his shoulder, making his way out of his office. 
“Listen, Miller. Give Peña all the shit you want, but I would way rather be cutting and gluing shit and throwing fist fulls of glitter in the air than working on these fucking reports.” Carter huffed, waving the file folder Miller was supposed to be working on in his face before throwing it back down on his desk. 
“Fair enough.” 
“I wouldn’t trust you dumbasses with scissors and glue if my life depended on it.” Javi groaned, raising an eyebrow at the pair before picking up one of the finished reports off of Carter’s desk, using it to point at the two on his way out. “These better be done by the time I get back tomorrow.” 
“But I’m gonna need extra time to decorate them for you, Peña!” Miller grinned, he and Carter playfully swatting at each other in hysterics, Javi flipping them off as he headed out the door. 
After his mom passed, Javi would have never thought Alma Pierce Elementary School would be a place that would hold any more relevance to him, let alone be a place that he would frequent, now that his future wife worked there. He couldn’t help but smile as he pulled into the parking lot, thinking about the joy it would have brought Lucia to see that her years of having Javi help her with her own classroom were still going to good use with you. He also couldn’t help but smile to himself as he grabbed the coffee sitting in his cup holder he had picked up for you on the way over from the station, also knowing his mom would have had some choice words to say to him if he showed up empty handed to your classroom.  
After checking in with the office, he made the now familiar route down to your classroom, weaving through the tiny bodies patterning down the hallway, screeching and squealing with what had to be uncontrollable Christmas excitement. He gently tapped at your door before opening it, a grin growing across your face as you looked up from your desk as you saw your fiancé with an extra large cup of coffee in his hands at the doorway. 
“Oh my god, you brought me coffee? I owe you my life, you are the best. Thank you.” The sigh you let out felt like the weight of the world lifted off your shoulders as you shot up to run over to Javi, giving him a big hug before snatching the cup out of his hands and taking a long swig of the caffeine you knew you were going to need to get you through the afternoon. 
“I figured you could probably use it.” Javi chuckled, pressing a kiss into the top of your head before looking around, noticing that you were the only one in your room. “Where are the kids?” 
“They’re at lunch, I was just about to leave to go pick them up. They’ve been absolute psychopaths today. I know it’s wrong to say I wanna drop kick a child out a window, but I’m real close.” You grumbled, taking another long sip of your coffee. “I don’t think I would have made it out alive today if you didn’t come in to help, so I apologize in advance for their behavior. I may or may not have told them that because you work for the police you keep track of what kids are well behaved or not to try and scare them a little.” You grimaced, knowing that the comment you had made earlier to your kids when you told them Javi was coming into help wasn’t the most ethical, but you were desperate for anything that would even remotely help control the chaos in your classroom with only 2 days left before winter break. 
“Any kids in particular I need to be on the lookout for?” Javi asked, laughing to himself as you leaned over to set your coffee on your desk before heading towards the door to go pick up your class from the cafeteria. 
“Oh… you’ll know them when you see them.” 
You closed the door behind you, giving Javi a quick wink, leaving him alone in your classroom to wait for the arrival of the promised circus show that was your students. He wandered over to your desk, peeking through the piles of papers, sticky notes of to-do’s and drawings your students had given you. On the wall by your calendars, there was a photo of you and your family, 2 of you and Javi, and a note that he had written you one day and stuck in your lunch box, scribbled down in his rushed handwriting 
Te amo mucho, hermosa. Have a great day.  
-J 
He thumbed gently at the wrinkled note, smiling to himself, still in awe of how the pieces of him seemed to follow you in everywhere you went. The sweet moment was quickly interrupted by the sounds of little voices bursting through the doorway, chattering away as they rushed to go sit on the carpet at the front of the room. 
“Who’s that guy?!” A boy’s voice asked, pointing in Javi’s direction before balling up his body and doing a literal somersault across the carpet. 
“It’s Mr. Peña! Do you not remember when our teacher told us before lunch that he was coming, dummy?” A girl’s voice responded, rolling her eyes at the boy, now laying face down on the floor. As more and more kids came over to the carpet, the more and more voices began to chime in. 
“Don’t call him a dummy, Angela, that’s mean!”
“Well he is!” 
“Why does that guy have a mustache?” 
“My uncle has a mustache!” 
“When are we going home?” 
“Miguel tried to kick me in the nuts at recess!” 
“I did not!” 
You buried your hands in your face, letting out a deep sigh, shaking your head before looking back at Javi, quietly mouthing “I’m so sorry.” across the room before making your way to the front of the class. 
“If you can hear me, clap once.” 
3 or 4 half hearted claps followed over the chatter. 
“If you can hear me, clap twice.” 
More students began to join in, curious to see that Javi was now also following your directions. 
“If you can hear me, put your hands on your head and turn off your voice.” 
Finally, the volume of your room began to ease, all of your students, and Javi, quietly looking at you with their hands resting on top of their heads. 
“Okay, 3rd graders. Right now, we are going to work on our holiday presents for our grownups we’ve been talking about all week. Remember how I told you this morning that we have someone special coming in to help today?” The class nodded, eyes glued on Javi. “This is Mr. Peña. Can you guys say hi?” 
“Hi, Mr. Peña!” The class waved at him, Javi now smiling and waving back at them. 
“Mr. Peña is taking time out of his day to come help us with our project, so we need to show him what a respectful, responsible and safe class we are, okay? If we can follow directions and everyone gets their project done, then we will have time for extra recess at the end of the day.” Javi snickered at the silent grins and high-fives on the carpet in hopes of bonus time outside. “Once you glue your picture on your plate to make your snowglobe, you can come see me to put the snowflakes inside, and then take it over to Mr. Peña and he’s going to hot glue it for you.” 
A tiny hand quickly shot up, waving it back and forth. “No, Miguel. You cannot use the hot glue gun. It’s a grownup's only job.” You tried your best not to roll your eyes as Miguel frowned and put his hand back in his lap, knowing damn well he would be one to try and hot glue his hands together. “Do we have any questions before we start?” Almost all of your class’s hands shot up immediately, all beaming at Javi, frantically wiggling their arms in the air. You laughed to yourself, knowing that none of them had any questions about the project, and just wanted to talk to Javi. “Are these all just questions for Mr. Peña?” The class nodded, now squirming in their spots. “Okay, we can do 3 questions right now, and maybe if we have time at the end we can ask him some more questions. Is that okay, Mr. Peña?” 
“Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure.” Javi smiled, trying his best to keep from smirking at you and your teacher voice that seemed to be having a much stronger effect on him than he had intended.  
“Okay, Mr. Peña is going to pick 3 people who are sitting on their bottom and are waiting quietly and patiently for a turn.” You couldn’t help but smirk back at him as he stepped next to you on the front of the carpet, nervously running his thumb over his knuckles to prepare for his interrogation from 8 and 9 year olds. He pointed over to a girl at the back of the group, nodding to her to ask whatever was on her mind. 
“So you’re marrying our teacher? Do you love her? Have you ever kissed her before?” The entire class erupted with giggles as Javi’s face went red with embarrassment. 
“Uh,  yeah. I love her a lot and that’s why we’re getting married.” Javi leaned over to whisper in your ear as the kids continued to snicker. “Am I allowed to answer the last part?” 
“We’re not gonna talk about kissing at school, okay, Maya?” You laughed, giving Javi a little nudge as he pointed to the next student, picking a boy this time, in hopes that he wouldn’t have intense questions about his love life. 
“Our teacher said that you work at the police station. Have you ever arrested anyone? Do you catch bad guys?” One of the boys asked, the rest of the class leaning in with intrigue. Javi rubbed his hand over the back of his neck, trying to maneuver another hard hitting question. 
“Well I uh, I help train the guys who catch the bad guys, I don’t actually go out and catch them.” 
“SO YOU DON’T THROW PEOPLE IN JAIL?!” Miguel shouted out, barely letting Javi answer his question. 
“I’m gonna throw you in jail, Miguel…” you muttered under your breath, hiding your face behind Javi’s shoulder, the both of you trying to contain your laughter. 
“No, I don’t. Uh okay, last one.” He pointed to another girl who had been patiently waiting with her hand raised the entire time Javi had been sharing. 
“One time, my grandpa punched my dad in the face, and they kept punching and punching and so then my mom called the police, and then he had to go to jail and my Grandpa kept yelling you motherfu-.” 
“OKAY, on that note we’re gonna start with our projects, everything is already on your desks. Come see me for snowflakes and Mr. Peña for gluing both pieces together.” Your eyes widened in horror, jumping in to try and cut her off before she could finish the rest of her thought. It had thankfully seemed like the rest of the class had been oblivious, racing back to their desks to work on their projects. You pinched the bridge of your nose before rubbing your fingers against your temples, trying not to wither away from the embarrassment your class had decided to subject you to with their questions for Javi. 
“... I am so sorry.” You sighed, shaking your head as you looked over at Javi, trying his best to keep from laughing at the antics your class was already up to before they had even started working on their project. 
“Is this what it’s like every day?” Javi’s eyes widened as he looked out at the classroom, already overwhelmed by the noise and bodies moving everywhere. 
“It’s normally not this bad, I swear I’m a good teacher. With it being 2 days before break, as long as everyone makes it home alive, I’m calling it a win. Thank you again for coming to help, Jav. You okay to man the hot glue station?” 
“Of course, Osita.” He smiled, giving your hand a little squeeze. 
“Miguel will legitimately try to glue his hands together, so just be… extra careful when he comes around.”  
You couldn’t have been more thankful that Javi had agreed to help you with your project, because passing out confetti snowflakes alone was enough to make you lose your mind, let alone try and glue things together, too. Through the chaos, you and Javi found yourself exchanging quick glances, quietly laughing to yourself at the craziness. You couldn’t help but stare a little longer as you watched Javi your students, patiently helping each of them, listening to them share about who they were planning on giving their handmade gift to, complementing them on their work,  and carefully monitoring to make sure no one (especially Miguel) got too close to the hot glue gun. You’d be lying if  you said it ever got old watching how goddamn sweet he was with any kid he talked to, making your heartbeat a little faster at the thought of how much sweeter he’d be when it was one of your own. 
By some miracle, everyone had finished with their gift before it was time for gym, glady sending them on their way to go burn off some excessive energy to help you through the last few hours of the day. Javi’s mom had clearly trained him well, coming back to find him helping to clean up the leftover mess from your crafts after dropping your class off. 
“You don’t have to help clean up, Jav. You’ve already done more than enough.” You sighed, sitting yourself on top of the desk Javi was next to, reaching out to grab his hand. 
“Osita. If this is what you do every fucking day all day long, the least I can help you do is clean up. Jesus Christ, this was fucking exhausting.” 
“Well, I really threw you into the worst of it, so I apologize. Thank you again for helping. The kids really liked you. They kept asking the whole way to gym when you were going to come back. I told them when they stopped acting like a pack of wild monkeys, maybe you’ll consider.” You and Javi laughed, Javi gently resting his hand on your knee, thumb circling against your jeans. 
“I’ll come back any time, Hermosa. Getting to watch my hot, future wife kick ass at her job is way better than having to harp on Carter and Miller to run the reports I ask them to every goddamn day. I’m more than happy to stay if you need more help, but I figured since I took the rest of the afternoon off, and I have a genuine appreciation for a fraction of how fucking hard your job is, I would go home and make whatever you want for dinner and finish up shit around the apartment so we can spend tonight doing whatever you want.” You smiled up at Javi, reaching your hand under his chin, pulling it closer to you to plant a quick kiss on his lips. 
“Someone’s really trying to make sure they make their place on the Nice List before Christmas.” You smirked, raising an eyebrow at Javi, crossing your arms over your chest. 
“You deserve it all, Osita. It’s seriously the least I can do. Although, the things I wanna do to you later are definitely gonna end me up on the Naughty List.” He gripped his hand around the meat of your thigh, giving it a long squeeze as he placed a tender kiss on your lips, trying to use every ounce of self control to remember he was still at your work, let alone an elementary school where an 8 year old could come busting through the door at any moment. 
“You’re such a fucking dork. You’re lucky I love you so much.” You rolled your eyes, playfully swatting at him. “Thank you, Jav. You really are the best. Can we do breakfast for dinner?” 
“I had a feeling that was what you were gonna ask for.” 
“Breakfast is the superior food at all hours of the day, and no one can convince me otherwise.” 
“Pancakes or waffles?” 
“Surprise me.” 
You pecked a quick kiss onto Javi’s cheek before sliding off the desk, wrapping your arms around him, giving him a hug, pressing your face into the fabric of his dress shirt, savoring the familiarity of his sweet and spicy cologne that had become the scent that smelled like home. “Alright, as much as I don’t want you to leave, I probably should be a good teacher and print the rest of the things I need and salvage a survival plan for the next two days before the gremlins get back.” 
“I’ll see you at home, Hermosa. Love you” 
“Love you too.” 
With one last squeeze, and a wave as he headed out the door, Javi left you in your empty classroom, looking out at the disaster left in your student’s wake. Christmas couldn’t come fast enough. 
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Anything that you had planned for the afternoon had quickly gone out the window after your class had returned from gym, your plans for an extra long recess turning into an even longer recess, and part of a movie before sending the kids on their way home. Some way or another, you were able to drag yourself home, the promise of breakfast food keeping you afloat the entirety of your drive home. 
As you walked down the hallway of your apartment, you could hear the quick pops and sizzles of the bacon Javi was cooking over the muffled Christmas music in the background. Turning your key in the lock on the doorknob, you pushed the door open, immediately dropping your school bag and kicking off your shoes, practically falling to the floor from exhaustion. Before you could even turn around to greet Javi, you felt his arms reaching under your legs and around your shoulders, making you squeal as he scooped you up, carrying you across the entry way towards the living room. 
“Hi?” You laughed, looking up at Javi in confusion as to why you had barely made it 2 feet into your apartment before he was picking you up and carrying you away. 
“Hi.” He smiled down at you, giving you a little shake in his grip. 
“Can I ask why you’re carrying me? Am I not allowed to walk anymore?” You guestrued down at the ground, watching your legs dangle with each step Javi took. 
“Because you work harder than anyone I know, and after today, if I’m fucking tired, you must be fucking exhausted, and my amazing, beautiful future wife deserves to relax.”
 He paused, tilting his head down to give you a kiss before turning his body the opposite direction. You had been so focused on Javi as he carried you from the doorway, you hadn’t even realized what was set up in the living room until he had shifted his position, facing you towards it. You looked over to see a blanket fort built between the ends of the couch, TV paused and ready to watch “It’s A Wonderful Life”, and the Christmas tree the two of you had decorated together lit up and twinkling, casting warm shadows on the walls. “Pajamas are in there, so change, lay down and I’m bringing you breakfast while we watch the movie.” 
You could feel the tears welling in your eyes as you looked out at the living room and back up at Javi. “Javi, you didn’t have to-” 
“I know, I didn’t have to do anything. I wanted to. I know how much you love Christmas and how we haven’t done much to celebrate since you’ve been busy with work, so I wanted to do something for you.” A grin grew across Javi’s face, watching your jaw hang open in shock as he set you down, letting you go over to examine his blanket creation. You stood there, shaking your head in disbelief, wondering to yourself how the hell you had gotten so lucky that someone cared enough about you to make you dinner after a long day, let alone plan something special for you, even if it was just in your living room. Before you could even respond, Javi was heading back to the kitchen to turn off the beeping timer of the oven, gesturing over to the fort. “I’ll be in there in a second.” 
“Javi, you set this all up for me, at least let me help with dinner or-” 
“Osita. Go put on pajamas and lay down. I swear to God, you’re the only person I’ve ever met that needs more convincing to go sit and relax than get up and do things.” He laughed, pointing at the covered couch, demanding you to get in. You held your hands up in defense before kneeling down to peek under the blankets Javi had draped over the top to see your comforter, all the pillows and blankets you owned, and your favorite sweatshirt and sweatpants of Javi’s folded neatly on top of everything. You quickly stood back up, unzipping and shuffling out of your jeans, trading them out for the sweatpants before stripping yourself of your shirt and bra, peeking around the corner to see Javi biting down on his bottom lip, eyes glued to you as you slipped his sweatshirt over your head. 
“I should have known better than to think you would have put out clothes for me to change into for any other reason than your own selfish gain, Javier Peña.” You jabbed, Javi shrugging as he grabbed two plates of the breakfast that he had finished cooking, bringing them back over to you. 
“Me? Wanting to watch you change on purpose, knowing damn well you were gonna take your bra off before you put my sweatshirt on? I don’t know what you’re talking about, Osita.” He smirked, a devilish grin growing across his face as he ducked into the fort, giving you a quick wink. 
“You? Wanting to see my boobs? Yeah, you’re right, how silly of me.” You groaned, voice oozing with sarcasm as you followed him, snuggling yourself under a blanket as Javi handed a plate over to you. “In all seriousness, this is really sweet of you, Javi. Thank you. Didn’t picture you as a big blanket fort kind of guy.” You giggled, giving him a little nudge. 
“I would make them all the time when I was little. Especially with my mom. I’d play with Hot Wheels in there, or my mom would read with me- I don’t know, maybe it’s from being with you at school today, and thinking about her, but I got home and thought you’d like it. You seem like someone who made their fair share of blanket forts as a kid.” Javi’s face beamed with a soft smile, the dimples of his cheeks creasing as he grinned over at you. 
“That’s really sweet. She sounds like she was the best mom. That’s a lot sweeter than my memories of building forts. My brothers and I had a pretty much permanent one set up in the basement made from old hockey sticks, but it was referred to in our house as Pound Town. We would go in and beat the shit out of each other with pillows until it collapsed on us and we’d have to pause, try to build it again, and beat the shit out of each other with pillows as we argued about if we were building it right or not. My parents let it slide because we weren’t annoying them, until one day when Patrick and I got in a huge fight about which couch cushions to use and he took one of the hockey sticks and hit me in the face and gave me a black eye. Pound Town was no more after that.” You grimaced, taking a bite of one of the  chocolate chip pancakes Javi had put on your plate. 
“I’m pretty sure at this point, you could tell me that you and your brothers robbed a bank and I wouldn’t be surprised.” 
“We were always well behaved during December, though. My parents definitely played into the threat of being on the naughty list as soon as Thanksgiving was over. At least they got a few weeks of peace each year. I honestly think that my parents were just as excited for Christmas movies as we were, because it at least gave them an hour and a half of semi-silence.” You laughed, nodding your head towards the TV. 
“I’m gonna be honest, Osita. I don’t blame them.” You sighed, leaning your head against Javi’s chest, feeling it rise and fall with each small huff of laughter. “We don’t have to watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” either, I just know you said you liked it and we didn’t get to watch it yet.” 
“No, this is a perfect pick. It’s one of my favorites. You wanna start it?” Reaching over for the remote, you smiled at Javi as he nodded, pressing play as the title credits began rolling across the screen. Javi had quickly come to learn that if you liked a movie, not only were you willing to watch it a million times, you knew just about every line, like you were putting on a one man production of whatever it was you were watching. Although you always quoted everything to yourself under your breath, something about it made Javi’s heart melt, spending more time looking over at you, whispering the lines of the movie to yourself, rather than watching whatever was on the screen. In between bites of breakfast, Javi watched your cheeks turn rosy as you watched a little George and Mary on the screen, eating ice cream at the drugstore, Mary leaning down to whisper in George’s ear. Javi had only seen the movie a handful of times, knowing it nowhere near as well as you, but well enough to know the line you mouthed to yourself wasn’t quite right. 
“Javier Peña, I’ll love you ‘till the day I die.” 
The two of you munched away at the rest of your breakfast dinner, Javi taking both of your empty plates back to the kitchen before nestling back under the blankets, wrapping his arm around your shoulder as you laid your head against his chest. Now watching George and Mary throw stones through the windows of the old, abandoned house, making wishes of what they hoped their lives to be, you snuggled closer to Javi, draping your arm over his waist, twisting the ends of his t-shirt between your fingers. 
“I can’t believe they’re actually gonna start building the house in a few weeks.” You looked up at Javi, beaming with excitement. After Javi’s proposal, both to be his wife and to build the two of you your dream home, you both had been working to draft up and finalize plans for construction to physically start happening. All of the design process had been smooth sailing so far, you and Javi easily agreeing on things you wanted for the house- layouts, designs, sizing- the only thing that was stopping you from moving forward with progress was deciding how many bedrooms the house was going to have. 
“Not too late to tell Danny we need to add another bedroom.” Javi teased, gently squeezing your arm. 
“I think 5 bedrooms is plenty, Mr. Ambitious. If we have more than 4 kids, we might as well add enough rooms to house a baseball team.” 
“I’ll give you a football team’s worth of kids, if you want it.” 
“I know you would, but you’re not the one who has to push a football team’s worth of kids out of you.” You laughed, playfully swatting at Javi before he wrapped his arm around the small of your back, flipping you so that your chest was caged with his, bodies laying pressed against each other. 
“I’m happy with 1 kid or 10. Whatever you want, Osita, I’ll give it to you.” Javi smiled softly, brushing a stray piece of hair from your face before cupping your jaw in his palm, thumb delicately circling across your skin. 
“What if I want you?” You whispered, stretching your head up to nibble at his chin, planting kisses along his face and neck, each one more desperate and hungry than the last. 
“You have me, Hermosa. Forever.” He reached down, grabbing your left hand, carefully twisting the gold and diamond band around your finger in his. It wasn’t long before his hand had left yours, beginning to roam down your shoulders and back before slipping under the waistband of your sweatpants, grabbing handfuls of your ass as you pressed the weight of your hips further into his, feeling his bulge starting to grow underneath you. Working his hands back up around your hips, he pushed your sweatpants and underwear down your legs, slightly raising your lower half to help Javi strip them off your body, leaving your lower half exposed. Javi’s grip tightened around your thighs, suddenly locking his arms around them, scooting you closer to him, now sitting on his chest. 
“Javi, what are you-” You protested, taking a second to realize what Javi was prompting you to do. 
“Wanna take care of you, sweet girl.” He rasped, continuing to pull you closer towards him, now sitting on him near his collarbone, as he cut you off. 
“Are you sure, Jav?” You asked, biting down on your lip, looking down at Javi, lust pooling in the dark brown of his gaze, a devilish smirk stretching across his lips. “I’m always worried I’m gonna suffocate you when we do this.”
“I’m still alive, aren’t I? Baby, if I die between your thighs from you sitting on my face, I’ll die a fucking happy man. Please?” 
“Okay, okay.” You nodded, letting out a little, breathy laugh as Javi tugged you one last time, your already dripping heat hovering over his face. You began to slowly lower yourself down, Javi’s fingertips gripping the flesh of your hips, forcing you to shift your weight onto him, making you moan as you felt his strong nose brush against your clit. You could feel the width of his tongue dragging along your cunt, slowly and deliberately working himself along your sensitive bundle of nerves. His face nestled between your legs, he took his time with each lick, taking extra time to press harder on the spots he knew made you weak, loving how wrecked he could tell you already were as you rolled your hips over his face. You could practically feel his smirk buried in your pussy as the movements of his tongue became more precise, flicking at your clit making you whimper as you braced yourself on the edge of the couch, grasping at the cushions. 
“Javi… Fuck, oh my god.” You whined, feeling the tension begin to build in your belly as Javi wrapped his plush lips around your mound, sucking feverishly as you rocked your hips back and forth, grinding down harder, the hairs of his mustache brushing against your thighs. You could feel him hum in approval against your cunt as your back began to arch, a familiar tingle growing at the base of your spine as his mouth latched firmer around your clit, desperate to make you come undone. 
“Fuck, baby- oh shit- Javi, don’t stop, fuck, fuck, I’m so close. Fuck, I’m- mhhhmmmmmm.” Your orgasm crashed through you, pleasure overtaking your body as you came, whimpering and moaning Javi’s name as he dug his fingers deeper into your flesh, holding you against him as he continued to work you through your high.  Your body went slack, draping your upper half over the edge of the couch as you felt Javi scoot out from under you, looking down to see his face glistening in your slick, accompanied by a boyish grin as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he gazed back up at you. 
“Goddamn, Hermosa. Fucking soaked me. That feel good, pretty girl? You want more?” You nodded frantically at him, still at a loss for words as your chest heaved with each shaky breath. Gently grabbing your waist, he shifted you down so your back laid buried in the comforters and head rested against a pile of pillows, planting soft kisses down your body as he quickly pushed his sweatpants and boxers down his legs, freeing his painfully hard cock, its tip already dripping with precum, staining the fabric of the pants and underwear it had been straining against. He reached down, stroking his dick as he lined himself up with your entrance, running his tip through your folds, already soaked with your slick from your last orgasm, before slowly pressing inside you, letting you savor every inch of his length buried deep inside you. His hips flushed against yours as he bottomed out, his fullness stretching you open with the sweet sting that had become one of your favorite feelings in the world. “Always so wet for me, Osita. Fuck, I can’t believe this perfect fucking pussy is mine forever. You’re mine forever.” He mewled, slowly pulling himself back before pressing deep inside you again, each stroke making you feel even fuller than the last. 
“Forever.” You whispered back, your voice trembling as his cock pushed further into your cunt, practically hearing the lewd noises of wetness between the both of you as he thrusted in and out. Sitting back on his heels, Javi hooked his arms under your legs, pressing them to your chest, gently rubbing circles against your already throbbing clit before sinking back into you, the stretch of the new angle and added sensation of his fingers making you whine as your arms wrapped around his shoulders, fingernails digging into your back. “Fuck, Javi. You feel so big, fuck, it feels so good.” 
“Fuck me.” Javi hissed, the rhythm of his hips hitting yours beginning to become more rapid and desperate as he watched you writhe under him. “You’re fucking perfect, Osita. Gonna be a perfect wife, a perfect mom, fuck- I can’t wait to marry you, live in our house- oh shit- Fill it with our kids. Fuck, te lo daré todo (I’ll give you everything).” 
Everything was making your mind go blank- his words, his fingers rubbing against your clit, his cock pounding into you, over and over in the spot that had you seeing stars. The coil in your belly began to build as Javi buried his face in the nape of your neck, nipping and sucking at your pulse point, his words hot and heavy on your skin. You could feel your cunt beginning to clench tighter around his length, your heart beating fast as your orgasm began to build with each push and pull out of your heat. “I know you’re close, baby. Give it to me, Hermosa. Cum all over my cock. Gonna fuck myself so deep inside you, shit, can’t wait until I can fuck a baby into you, wish I could make myself stick, fucking get you pregnant right now.” 
Just like that, something inside you snapped, your body tensing as you felt yourself squeeze around Javi’s dick, soaking him as your orgasm ripped through you. A string of expletives and his name fell from your mouth, your brain short circuiting from the overwhelming intensity, sobbing into his shoulder as you came. It wasn’t long until Javi was close behind you, rapidly chasing his own high as he pounded into your heat, dripping with your slick. “That’s it, baby. Such a good girl. Fuck, I’m not gonna last much longer. Meirda- so wet and tight for me. Oh fuck, fuck, I’m gonna cum too, holy- ahhhhhhh.” Javi gritted his teeth as he thrusted one last time, spilling deep in your walls, making sure to milk himself of every last drop as he slumped on top of you, your chests rising and falling in unison as you tried to catch your breath. 
“Jesus Christ…” You laughed to yourself under your breath, reaching up to run your hand through Javi’s curls, dark and damp as they stuck to his forehead. “Javi, if you keep saying shit like that when we fuck, I am gonna end up pregnant before we get married.” 
“And that would be a bad thing because…” Javi smirked, pressing a tender kiss against your lips, feeling his grin on your mouth. 
“Javi!” You giggled, rolling your eyes and playfully swatting at his bare chest as he hovered over you, gently twisting his fingers through the messy ends of your hair. “We have talked about this! Once we’re married and the house is all the way finished, then I’ll toss my birth control in the trash. But until then, you’re really making it work unpaid overtime, you menace. I hate to break it to you, but keeping your dick inside me isn’t gonna do anything for you right now.”
“Like you don’t like it.” He chuckled, the both of you letting out a little hiss at the loss of Javi being buried inside you, feeling the mixture of your spend drip down your thighs as he laid back down next to you, wrapping his arm around your back, pulling you closer as you rested your head on his chest, hiking your leg up over his hip. “I’m just saying, Osita, Christmas is only a few days away, you could just throw it away early and-” 
“JAVI!” You scolded him, giggling as he raised an eyebrow at you, giving a little shrug. “You will get plenty of other presents. That one’s gonna have to wait, as much as I don’t want to either. The house should be done right around the same time as the wedding anyways, so you won’t even have to wait that long.” 
The two of you had very easily decided that you didn’t want a big wedding by any means, bringing Chucho endless amounts of joy when you had asked him if you could have your celebration at the Peña ranch. The thought was the first thing that came to both you and Javi’s minds- something small and simple, really only wanting your close friends and family to join you on your big day in a place that held such importance to the both of you. While you and Javi had agreed that you would have married each other tomorrow, you had compromised with the middle of June, giving you a few weeks after the school year had finished to let you have some time to prep or plan anything else that needed to happen, without the end of the year school stressors on top of it.
 After working with Javi’s cousin, Danny, (who finally received your finalized floor plans a few days ago after finally compromising on your bedroom count), he was able to guess that given that the winter was normally less busy for him and his crew, he would also hopefully have the house done by mid to late June, planning to have the majority of the work completed after you came back from your Honeymoon,  you and Javi offering to finish up any last touches that he wouldn’t be able to get to after you returned. 
While the both of you had agreed that you would wait until you were married before your birth control prescription was canceled, never to be seen again, you managed to talk some sense into Javi, telling him the house needed to be finished before you started trying, God forbidding that something went wrong, leaving you who knows how pregnant in an unfinished house. Regardless, it hadn’t stopped Javi from the moment that ring went on your finger to play into just how badly he was ready to give you the family you deserved, making it very hard for the both of you to stick to your plan. 
“I know, I know.” He sighed contently, picking your arm up, draping it over his chest so he could play with the ring on your finger, delicately thumbing at the stone and gold band. “Knowing I get to spend the rest of my life with you is the only fucking Christmas present I’ll ever need for the rest of my life.” 
“You’re really trying to make your way back onto the Nice List, huh?” You giggled, biting down on your lip as you reached up to grab Javi’s face, giving it a little shake. “You’re all I’ll ever need, too, Javi.” A cheeky smirk spread across your face as you looked up at Javi, pressing a hot kiss against the skin of his neck before you spoke. “I gotta shower and clean this mess up, you wanna come with me and hang out on the Naughty List just a little bit longer?” 
“I’d take coal in my stocking any fucking day for you.” 
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Someway or another, you managed to make it through the last two days of school, bribing your class with more play time, recess, and movies than you’d like to admit. You and Javi were planning to spend the second half of your break with your family in Chicago, giving you two a few days to celebrate your first Christmas in Laredo together, now that you were on break. You had agreed to spend Christmas Eve celebrating with Chucho, the 3 of you gathering at the Peña ranch in the afternoon, offering to help Javi’s dad with chores around the farm since he had graciously given everyone else the day off to spend with their families. It took no convincing on your end to go out and help Javi feed the animals, one of your favorite chores on the farm, especially when it came to the cows. 
“I can’t believe how big they are.” You cooed, scratching one of the not so baby cows you had met for the first time a few months ago along its nose, giggling as it gave you a little lick. 
“They don’t stay little and cute for very long.” Javi chuckled, throwing the last bale of hay over the fence into one of the troughs, wiping his hands along his plaid shirt before resting his arm around your waist, standing next to you as you continued scratching and petting the rest of the cows that had gathered looking for attention. 
“Excuse you? They are still incredibly cute! Apologize to these sweet babies!” You gasped dramatically, holding your hand over your chest as you swatted at Javi. 
“Hermosa, they’re cows. They’re loud and annoying once they’re full grown, and last time I checked, I don’t think they can understand what I’m saying.” He laughed as you looked back at him with fake disgust, taking a step back, crossing your arms over your chest. Before you could argue back, one of the cows let out a long, loud mooooo, pointed in Javi’s direction, turning to look back at the cow before looking back at Javi. 
“I think that’s cow for fuck you, I am cute.” You smirked, giving Javi a little shrug as you nodded back at the cow. 
“Whatever, you dork.” Javi sighed, rolling his eyes at you as the two of you grabbed the rest of the feed buckets, heading back to the truck. 
The two of you finished your rounds and  you and Javi made your way back to the house to find Chucho humming away in the kitchen, chopping and dicing up vegetables to throw into his simmering pot of broth for the Pozole he had promised Javi for their Christmas Eve meal. 
“Chucho, do you think that cows are cute?” You questioned, kicking off your shoes at the door, Javi following behind, shaking his head. Chucho chuckled to himself, wiping his hands along his worn apron before picking up his wooden spoon to stir his stew. 
“Why are you asking?” He asked, looking over at you as you made your way into the kitchen, popping a leftover piece of pepper into your mouth, talking between chews. 
“Because your son doesn’t think they are, and had the audacity to tell the cows to their face they were, in fact, not cute.” You glared over at Javi, trying to hold back your laughter as you pretend to be stern. 
“They’re cute when they’re little but once you have to deal with them every day, full grown, they’re a pain in the ass.” Javi sighed, following behind you, sneaking between you and his dad to take down some bowls out of the cabinet, setting them on the table. 
“That is because Javier never pays attention when he walks through the pasture, and always ends up with a boot full of cow shit. I think they are cute, Mija. Not as cute as some other animals, or as cute as human babies…” He paused, raising an eyebrow at the two of you, smirking. “But yes, still cute.” 
“Told you so. You can’t blame the cows for your shit shoes, that’s on you, Jav.” You giggled, hitting him in the chest before grabbing spoons and napkins to set down next to the bowls Javi had placed. “Do you need help with anything else, Chucho? It smells delicious, I’m glad your cow bashing son requested it tonight.” 
“Cabrón (asshole).” Javi groaned. “Mamá would always make pozole and tamales for everyone on Christmas eve. She would put all of the cousins to work kneading the dough and assembling the tamales. She would hold the piñata hostage until we helped her finish, which I can’t blame her for. Her tamales were delicious, but I always think about having her pozole and eating a shit load of candy before crashing on the couch trying to stay up, waiting for Santa when I think about Christmas.” 
“Before Lucia died, every year we would host our whole family here for Christmas eve. Dios Mio, there must have been 30 crammed in here each year, singing and dancing, making more tamales than anyone could count. No matter how hard he tried, Javier would always be the first to fall asleep on the couch, and we would have to carry him to bed. I think he would get so excited he would wear himself out.” Chucho smiled, turning off the stove, bringing the pot of the pozole to the kitchen table, the two of you pulling out a chair to take a seat. 
“She sounds like she was such a fun lady. I wish I could have met her. And eaten her tamales, because I bet that they were amazing.” You beamed, looking over at Chucho and Javi, Javi now settling into the seat next to you, draping his arm over the back of your chair as Chucho stayed standing, letting out a content sigh as he placed a hand on his hip. 
“Well Mija, I was planning on giving your Christmas gift to you later, but now that you bring it up, now seems as good a time as any.” Chucho smirked, waddling his way over to the living room, as you and Javi glanced at each other in confusion, waiting for his return. A few moments later, Chucho was back, carrying a small, red package with a white ribbon wrapped around it, outstretching it towards you. 
“Chucho, you didn’t have to get me anything, I-” You protested, not accepting the gift until Chucho was sliding it across the table, placing it right in front of you. 
“It is a gift for both of you. I know that Lucia would have been so thrilled to know how happy you have made our Javier. How happy you have made both of our lives. She would have loved you so dearly, hija, and would have wanted you to have these as you and Javier start your own family.” Tears welled behind Chucho’s eyes as you carefully took the package in your hands, resting it between you and Javi as the both of you gently ripping away the wrapping paper and bow to reveal what was inside Chucho’s gift. You held a small, leather bound book between you two, Chucho gesturing to have you open it to see what was inside. As you flipped back the cover, you revealed the first page, a picture of a young Lucia in the very same kitchen the 3 of you found yourself in, smiling at the camera as she stirred a pot of something on the stove, apron tied around her waist. Below the photo were bold, shaky cursive letters, reading “Lucia’s Recipes.” 
“Pops…” Javi whispered in shock, delicately touching the page, gazing up at his dad.  
“Your mamá would have wanted you to have all of them. She always told me that she couldn’t wait for the day she could have a daughter to share all of her cooking secrets with. She would have been even more excited to share them with you Mija, knowing the wonderful woman that you are.” 
Carefully turning the page, you could feel your lip quiver as you looked at Chucho, feeling how watery your eyes were now becoming. “Chucho, this is- I don’t- thank you, Chucho. This is so special. I’m honored you want them to share them, I- I know how important these are to your family.” 
“You are family, hija.” Handing the book off to Javi, you pushed up out of your chair, making your way over to Chucho to wrap him in a tight hug, Chucho quickly reciprocating, squeezing you back.   
“Thank you, Chucho.” You whispered into his shoulder, trying your best to keep from sobbing as Javi pushed out of his chair, joining the both of you in a group hug, holding the two people he loved most in the world in his broad grasp. 
“Thanks, Pops.” 
“Los amo a los dos (I love you both).” Chucho sniffed, pulling away to wipe away the tears streaming down his cheeks. “Now, let’s eat this pozole, I can hear Lucia yelling at me for letting it start to go cold.” 
The 3 of you spent the rest of your night full of pozole, Javi finishing off at least 3 bowls as you talked at the kitchen table, sharing stories of your favorite holiday traditions and memories. Chucho broke out at least 4 different photo albums to share photos of Christmases past, filled with lots of ones of an adorable Javi and his bright, toothy grin as he opened up presents. Chucho was thrilled with the present you and Javi had gotten for him- a new work jacket for out on the ranch, Javi noting that he probably was still wearing the same jacket he did when Javi was first born. 
You and Javi had insisted that you let Chucho help you clean up around the kitchen after making you dinner, practically having to force him to sit down in his chair to relax while the two of you got to work collecting and cleaning dishes in the sink. You got to work washing as Javi dried, taking time to turn on the radio in the kitchen, raising the volume as he tuned in to the local station that had been playing nothing but Christmas music for the past week. “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”  began playing from the speakers, immediately beginning to sing along, swaying your hips, scrubbing the last of the pots and pans. Javi snuck up behind you, snaking his hands around your waist, placing a soft kiss on your shoulder as his chest pressed against your back. 
“Dance with me.” He whispered, placing his hands on your hips to spin you around, making you giggle as your sponge splashed in the sink, playfully drying your wet hands against his flannel before interlacing one of your hands with his, the other one resting on his shoulder as he wrapped his free hand around the small of your back. The two of you gently swayed in the dim light of the kitchen, the soft sounds of Frank Sinatra’s voice humming in the background. 
Here we are as in olden days, happy golden days of yore. Faithful friends who are dear to us, gather near to us once more. 
As the sweet and syrupy melody of the song played on, Javi held up his hand, prompting you to spin under his outstretched arm before pulling you back in, resting his hand on your back, the other holding your face as he dipped you down, his lips curled in a tender grin against yours as he leaned in to kiss you. 
Through the years, we all will be together, if the fates allow. Hang a shining star upon the highest bough. And have yourself a merry little Christmas now.
“I love you, Osita.” 
“I love you more, you dork.” 
You rested your head on his chest, smiling into the worn fabric of his button up, soaking up the sweet simplicity of the moment- how right then and there, it felt like there was no one in the world but the two of you, slow dancing in Chucho’s kitchen, arms wrapped tight around the man you loved. It felt like holding everything you’d ever need. Everything you’d ever want.  It felt like holding your home. 
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 If there was one thing you were not, it was patient, especially when it came to waiting. You never had been, and at this point in your life, you were very much convinced you never would be. Ever since you could remember, you were always the first one up in your house on Christmas, frantically waking up your parents and brothers to let them know presents were stacked under the tree at an ungodly hour, forcing your parents to implement the “If you don’t stay in your bed until 6 A.M. you won’t get any of your presents” rule to try and save some ounce of their sanity for the chaos that ensued after the 4 of you were really wide awake. Even as an adult, you couldn’t help but wake up giddy on Christmas, feeling as bright eyed and bushy tailed as you did all those years ago as a kid. While Javi was very aware of your love for Christmas, he wasn’t aware of the fact that it meant that you would be wide awake, waiting for him to wake up this early in the morning. 
“Merry Christmas!” You squealed, trying your best to contain your excitement as you watched Javi finally begin to stir, his sleepy curls peeking out from under the covers, eyes squinting and blinking heavily as he let out a big yawn, draping his arm over your waist, half awake. 
“Good morning.” He grumbled, rubbing his hand over his face, practically still asleep.  “What time is it?” 
“6:45…” You replied, grimacing sheepishly, wincing at the early hours plastered on your alarm clock. “You can go back to sleep if you want to, sorry if I woke you up.” 
“6:45? Jesus, how long have you already been up for, Osita?” He sighed, propping himself up on his elbows, running his hands through the messy ends of his hair. 
“Not that long…” You muttered, looking away from him, hoping it would deter him interrogating further. Javi said nothing- he only cocked his head to the side and stared with that look he gave you when he knew you were hiding something, knowing damn well his tired, puppy dog eyes would pull the truth out of you. “Fine…” You huffed, turning back to him. “I’ve been up since 6.” 
“6 in the morning? Jesus Christ, hermosa.” Javi laughed to himself, shaking his head as he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you to lay against his bare chest. “I guess I can’t say I’m surprised. What the hell have you been doing since you got up?” 
“I made coffee, took a giant shit after I drank the coffee, turned on the lights to the Christmas tree, put Christmas music on in the living room, and then I came back to bed and I’ve been trying to read while I was waiting for you to wake up.” 
Javi could do nothing but let out an amused sigh as he pressed a long kiss into the top of your head. “You’re insane, you know that?” 
“You’re the one who proposed.” You sassed back, holding your ring in Javi’s face, a playful smirk growing across your face before giving him a little poke on his chest. His response to your witty remark was grabbing you by the waist, flipping you on top of him as he tickled your sides, pecking quick kisses along your body, making you flail and squirm as you erupted with giggles. “Let go, pendejo! You’re gonna end up with a black eye for Christmas if you don’t stop!” 
“I’d like to see you try.” He grinned, releasing you from his grasp, giving you a little shove. “Alright, well I’m fucking awake now.” Reaching his arms over his head, Javi let out another loud yawn. 
“I made you coffee.” You shrugged, trying to provide at least a little peace offering to him for your early morning wake up. 
“I’d fucking hope so.” The two of you laughed as you shuffled out of bed, Javi lazily throwing on a t-shirt and pajama pants before you both wandered out of the bedroom, you at a much quicker pace than Javi. 
As much as Javi wanted to give you a hard time about your over exaggerated enthusiasm this early in the morning, he couldn’t help but feel his heart flutter as he walked into the living room, seeing you sit curled up on the couch, clutching a mug of coffee, beaming at Javi as Christmas music played softly in the background, the walls dimly lit by the twinkling lights of tree, being hit with the realization that every Christmas for the rest of his life, would be a Christmas spent with you. 
“For you.” You smiled, holding out Javi’s mug, steam dancing off the top of the bitter brown liquid. “My family always opened presents before we did anything else, but if you have something else that your family always did, or you don’t want to, we can-” 
“Osita, I know you wanna open presents first, it’s okay.” Javi snickered, kissing your forehead before you shot up off the couch, running over to the tree to grab one of the several neatly wrapped boxes stacked beneath it. 
“Okay, thank God, I think I would have spontaneously combusted if I had to wait any longer to give you your gifts.” Hurrying back over to the couch, you placed your boxes on Javi’s lap, snuggling back up next to him as he began to tear away at the wrapping paper of the smallest package. 
“You don’t have any photos on your desk, so I figured I’d get you one. That way you can stare at my ugly mug all day long.” You joked, nodding toward the picture frame Javi was holding with a picture from your cousin’s wedding a few months back. 
“Shut up. Thank you, I do need more pictures of us in my office, and you look so hot in this picture.” He smirked, giving you a little nudge before picking up the next gift in your pile. “Thank you, Osita.” 
“Says the one who’s in the fucking tuxedo in that photo.” You rolled your eyes, watching Javi shake the wrapping paper off the next box. 
“Fuck, I’ve been needing new boots. Thank you, Osita, these are so nice.” Javi grinned, holding up the dark leather shoes, letting the bottom of the box drop to the floor. 
“I know you have, and you refuse to buy yourself new ones, so I figured I’d upgrade them for you.” You crossed your arms over your chest at Javi, wondering how he’d ever convince himself that he wasn’t just as stubborn as you. 
“Jesus, this is heavy.” He laughed, working away at the wrapping to reveal a plain, cardboard box, giving you a confused look. 
“It didn’t come in a box and I couldn’t wrap it how it was. I promise you your first gift isn’t a heavy cardboard box.” The two of you laughed as Javi tore the tape holding the top together, digging through the tissue paper, eyes going wide at the contents of the box. 
“Osita…” He warned, pulling out the bottle of his favorite Texas branded whisky he would only order for himself on nice occasions, knowing 1- how hard it was to find, and 2- that it was not cheap. 
“Don’t even try to start with me. It’s Christmas and I love you and you deserve all the nicest things in the world. I know how much you love this stuff, even though it tastes like pure gasoline, and that you would never buy it for yourself.” You smirked, grabbing under his chin, squeezing his cheeks. 
“Thank you, Osita. Where the hell did you find this stuff?” Javi looked at the bottle in disbelief, examining it before setting it carefully back on the ground. 
“Steve knew a guy.” You shrugged, only pausing for a moment before pushing yourself off the cushions, only to be stopped by Javi’s grasp around your wrist, pulling you back down. 
“These are all perfect, baby. Thank you so much. You're too good tot me. My turn.” Javi grinned, grunting as he got up off the couch, looking through the boxes to find the one he wanted, snatching it up and handing it over to you, immediately beginning to shed the box of its paper. “If you don’t- if you don’t like it or don’t want it, that’s okay, but I figured-” 
“Javi, I’m sure whatever it is, I’ll love it.” Taking a pause from your unwrapping, you reached over to give Javi’s knee a squeeze, smiling at him before shuffling the lid off the top of the long box. “Oh no way! Are you serious?!” You squealed, holding up the emerald green and black Dallas Stars hockey jersey. “Javi, what the fuck, this is so cool! Thank you!” You dropped the jersey in your lap, leaning over to give him a tight hug. 
“Thank god, I was worried you were gonna be pissed it wasn’t a Blackhawks jersey, but I think you already have 2 here, and like 3 more at your parents house, so I figured, you might like one for the Stars, too.” Javi sighed, relieved that his gift wasn’t about to stir up any unwanted hockey tensions. 
“I will wear it every game, except for when we play the Blackhawks- Then I will bury it deep in the closet.” You giggled, picking it back up to stare at it, oblivious to the fact that Javi had already gotten up again to get you another gift.
“These two go together.” He smiled, handing you over the much smaller box as you tilted your head in confusion. You quickly unwrapped the second box, a smaller version of the box for your jersey you had just opened. Still unsure of how something so tiny could go with your new jersey, you suspiciously lifted up the lid, your jaw dropping as you saw what was inside. “Holy fuck, Javi, are you serious?!” You gasped, pulling two tickets to the Dallas Stars vs. Chicago Blackhawks game, clutching them like you couldn’t believe they were real. Taking a second to actually read the ticket, your mouth gaped even further. “Jav, holy shit, these seats are-” 
“Against the glass.” Javi smirked, watching your eyes dart back and forth between the tickets and his smug grin. 
“But what about- how are we, wait- wouldn’t we have to-“ you mumbled to yourself, trying to process the gift while figuring out the logistics of getting to and from a night game in Dallas from Laredo. 
“I’ve got it all taken care of. The game is on Friday in February, the other 3rd grade teachers said they would do whatever to help you take that Friday off, our flight leaves at 2, we land in Dallas at 3:30, and I have a hotel booked for Friday and Saturday. Figured we could make a weekend of it.” 
“Javi- You can’t- Javi this is too much- baby, are you serious?” You whispered, breath shaky as you looked up at his beaming face, leaning in to kiss you. 
“I can, and I will. You deserve it. Merry Christmas, Osita. There’s one more thing.” He smirked, raising an eyebrow at you, grabbing one last present from under the tree and setting it in your lap. 
“Javier Peña, you do not need to get me anything else, I swear to God-” You protested, giving Javi a stern look as you stared at the present in your lap. 
“It’s not anything big, I saw it when I got the jersey and couldn’t help myself. Just open it, please?” He sighed, picking it up and bringing it even closer to you. 
“Okay, okay.” You shook your head, quickly tearing away the wrapping paper to reveal the box underneath. Lifting the lid, you dramatically rolled your eyes at Javi as you lifted up the red, lacy, lingerie that was tucked away in the tissue paper it had been delicately folded under. “This looks a lot more like a gift for you than a gift for me, Mr. Peña.” You laughed, giving Javi a playful nudge. 
“Well, if you put it on and let me unwrap you like the pretty little present you are, I’m sure I can find a way to make it a gift for the both of us.” Javi rasped, leaning over to nip at the exposed skin of your neck, making you let out a breathy moan, before coming to your senses, immediately darting up off the couch towards your bedroom. 
“Where the hell are you going?” Javi asked, laughing at you as you sped off, lingerie in your hands. 
“Changing so you can unwrap your last present!” You winked, wiggling the lacy outfit in the air before ducking into the bedroom. “Hey!” You shouted, your voice slightly muffled from behind the bedroom door, creaking it open to pop your head back out. 
“What, hermosa?” Javi laughed, awestruck smile glowing across his face as he stared at you. 
“I love you, Javier Peña. Merry Christmas.” 
“Merry Christmas, Osita. I love you more.”
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Taglist: @cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @blackfemalenerd @deppydelta @beware-my-thorns
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uravitypng · 10 months
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𝐈 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊 𝐓𝐎𝐎 𝐌𝐔𝐂𝐇: 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄
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pairing: denki kaminari x reader, (hanta sero x reader)
word count: 4.5k
content warnings/things in part three: everyone is oblivious to everyone's feelings, jealous/needy denki, shopping at the beginning but i'm not specific on describing exactly what been brought just that it's slightly shorter than what the reader would typically buy, reader's social battery drains quickly, reader has some resentment towards jirou and only ever calls them jirou sfdhhsvjg, written with a chubby reader in mind (smut in later chapters/+18)
a/n: i hope you all enjoy part three, this is the longest part so far and i'm not really sure if i like all of it but i think i do! i'm so excited for the this series to carry on. let me all know what you think about this chapter!
i talk too much summery: it's terrible when you're in love with your best friend. it's terrible that he's in love with someone else.
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In a weeks time is the charity gala event that's held every year for heroes and if someone doesn't go it certainly looks bad on them. If they're not on patrol or wrapped up in hero work they should be there, especially if they're big names or retired big names. You may not be the number one hero but you're noticeable and you're a big enough name to make it a problem if you didn't turn up which is not the best for you. Every year is the same, spending hours picking and trying on outfits only to wear once, a smile plastered on your face all night that makes your cheeks hurt when you get home, heels so high you feel as tall as Mt Lady and this year is the same problem.
Denki already has a car hired to take you both to the event in case either of you want to drink and because he knows you walking so far in heels would likely be a disaster.
You've been fretting for days now about the gala, you still haven't brought a dress for the night and shopping for clothes really does not bode well for your self esteem. You prefer buying clothes online so you don't have to go to stores and try clothes on but sizes on websites can sometimes be wrong and they look different than advertised.
You know you shouldn't compare yourself to your friends and your colleagues but you can't help stop yourself, they spend so much money and time getting ready in comparison to you it makes you stand out when you think you don't look as good as them or you don't spend hours doing your hair. You care about your appearance at these events but they make your esteem plummet, you always think your friends look better than you, dress better than you and look more desirable than you.
Now you don't want to people to get the wrong idea, you don't really care about desirability, actually you care very little about it but it might make Denki do a double take for once, maybe he might even do a double take and make a flirtatious comment. That's the kind of desirability you want. You don't wish to become on a list of the hottest bachelorette pro heroes, if anything you want to only be considered 'hot' to a few people but to the rest of the world you want to be called something different, something other than desirable. You want to be called a pro hero who's amazing at her job, especially in away missions, a pro hero that if you hear a commotion and see a crime taking place down the road you spring right into action even if you're not on duty. Just referring to you as desirable would be a disservice.
But for some reason, with this gala, you agreed to let Mina help find you a dress and you're already regretting it as she calls you after she's finished work asking if you're ready to go shopping. You had no idea she wanted to go today and you were so close to cancelling. You couldn't help it, it's like being thrown into the deep end but not only can you not swim but you're also allergic to the water. Having no time to prepare to get in the right mindset to go shopping definitely put you on edge but you agree all the same knowing that you've got to get it over and done with and Mina might not accept the decision of you cancelling and drag you out anyway.
"Hey! Ready to go shopping?" Mina calls as she see's you.
"Not particularly."
She laughs at your reply, "that's my girl. Lets go! I have a couple styles in mind."
Mina's already brought what she's going to wear, she brought it months ago but when you asked for help she dropped every plan that she could possibly cancel to help you. You've never asked her or anyone else, for that matter, to help you shop for clothes before so she couldn't help but be excited at the prospect of helping you choose something amazing.
She has a plan in mind, something you're comfortable in, she loves you and she wants you to feel comfortable but she also wants you to feel confident. Luckily Mina still gives you some control of the situation, letting you decide the store. There's only a few shops around that cater to your size so you visit the one you like most.
Two hours later you're still in the dressing room, surrounded by expensive clothes that are mostly in black, because 'everyone looks good in black', as Mina keeps passing you new ones to try. You reluctantly stay until you find one. You like it, in fact you love it but if you said that out loud you might change your mind about it. It's slightly more fitted than the ones you typically go for and it shows slightly more skin. It's out of your comfort zone for sure and something you'd definitely not pick to wear without Mina but you're glad she came along.
Tonight's the night of the gala and Denki's waiting in the living room for you and he's so very close to knocking on your door to see if you're nearly ready but he knows that would not be a good idea, you'd be sour all night and would stay away from him so he waits as patiently as he can.
When you come out the room he's so very glad he didn't rush you. The dress you're wearing is different to what he's used to and what he expected you to wear. Seeing Denki's reaction but not recognising his look on his face you assume the worse and pull your dress down as low as you can. After seeing this Denki rushes out to reassure you, "you look lovely 'doll. You ready to go?" It's rare that Denki compliments specifically your appearance or outfits. Fiddling with your fingers and shifting from side to side you answer, "Thank you, Denks. You look lovely too. I'm ready, are you?"
Denki really does look nice. He's wearing a black notch lapel suit meaning the suit has a triangular shape V because of the sewing of the lapels into the collar of the jacket. He's not wearing a tie but he's wearing cufflinks, if you look close enough you can see that they're the ones you brought him when you all left UA, they're silver circles with a yellow lightning bolt on them.
He holds out his arm for you to take and with a cheeky smile on his face asks, "ready mademoiselle?"
Accepting his arm, "ready monsieur."
Arriving at the gala gives you other reasons why you dreaded it. This year there are more camera's outside than normal and you wonder why. It makes you anxious, you're use to the camera's you just don't like them. Denki places his hand on the small of your back and falls in step beside you, in doing so calming you down and giving you security. You dreaded the noise and how busy it was. You started scouting the hall, looking out for any of your friends, maybe even catch up with your old classmates.
"I found people, let's go." Still holding onto the small of your back he guides you through the crowd. You were already on edge with the surroundings and all those cameras but then your mood drops as you spotted where he was taking you both, right to Jirou. There was more than just Jirou there, but you knew that's why he's going over, not because Hanta's and Ejirou's over there, both of you see them all the time, and it's not because Yaomomo or Katsuki and Ochaco are over there either, it's for Jirou. He complimented you at the beginning of the night and your stomach fluttered with butterflies but now you'll have to watch him flirt all night with someone else, someone who neither of you have seen in so long so it's awful to think about how much he'll be talking to her and about her in the following weeks.
"Heyo," Hanta calls when he see's you, making you grin wide as he holds his hand up for you to high five.
You perk up at his anticts at high five him back, "Heyo."
There's a collection of greetings from everyone. Momo complimenting your dress and you saying back that Mina helped you, Uraraka saying she missed you as you hug her.
Bakugou saying he didn't he sees you all the fucking time, causing you to smack him lightly on the back of his head while grinning. "Don't be like that that Katsuki." He scowls at you and makes a dismissive sound before calling you a dumbass.
Denki exchanges pleasantries with everyone, you were too wrapped up in your conversation with Kiri and Hanta to even notice that he hadn't flirted or made any kind of comment towards Jirou at all.
"You look beautiful," Kiri says earnestly making your heart warm.
"Yes, you look very hot. I'm liking the dress." Hanta adds on.
You chuckle, "thank you Kiri and when did you become such a creep Han."
"I'm simply making an observation," Hanta replies causing you to try, and fail, at controlling your laughing volume sounding a lot louder than you intended to be.
Hanta looks good too, all your friends do.
Bakugou's wearing his hero costume colours in a suit, his hair slightly more tamed and he has pencilled eyeliner on his lash line like his mask, you'd put money that his publicist from the agency made him wear it all.
Most of your friends have gone with their hero costume colours with Ochaco wearing an all pink flowy dress that goes down to her ankles, Kiri wearing a suit similar to the one he wore at I-Expo, Momo a red fitted dress and Jirou wearing a longer dress catered to her aesthetic, but Hanta, well Hanta looked really good.
Hanta was wearing a cool dark grey tone unstructured blazer his dress shirt had the first button undone. How someone can look this good but keep it simple, classy and somewhat casual in formal wear is beyond you.
Denki watches you make conversation with Hanta and his jaw clenches as he wonders why you're talking to him when there's people you haven't seen in months or close to a year, yet you're choosing to talk to Sero who you saw earlier this week. Is this why you're wearing that dress? For him?
Denki wants your attention, wants you to focus your attention back on him. "I'm going to get us drinks. Do you want to come?"
You were about to decline but you feel him hold your wrist loosely in his hand and you look and see an expression on your face that you know too well, it's the look that he gives you when he wants you to agree with something so desperately. His 'puppy dog eyes' look. You don't speak for a second, all the background noise fades away as you try and understand why he wants you to come with him so bad and that's when you connect that he's standing next to Jirou and something might have happened or someone might have said something insensitive to him.
He pulls your hand a bit and lowers his voice, "please."
"Of course Denki," you nod. "I'll follow you anywhere," you tell him softly and honestly. Your heart starts racing as you realised what you said. You've said stuff like this to him before and you always mean it truthfully, you'll follow him anywhere. You'd follow him to the end of the world and knowing your luck it could happen. He can be so oblivious, like with how you truly feel towards him that he might not even notice he was at the end of the world until you pointed it out to him. You hope that Denki can't feel your pulse racing while he's holding onto you.
He doesn't notice, he's too relieved that you agreed to go with him, that you chose to go with him instead of staying with everyone else, instead of staying with Sero. "We're going to get drinks, we'll see you guys later." Before you can say your goodbyes he's gently but firmly pulling you to the bar. You want to make a joke about his haste to get away from the conversations everyone's having but you don't know if that would be appropriate with whatever he's feeling right now and with whatever happened.
He drags you to one of the stools and orders your favourite drink. "Are you okay Denki?"
"Just peachy," he didn't mean it to sound sarcastic, he didn't mean it to come out at all. He wanted to tell you that he's fine, to assure you that with you next to him he's having a good night but he's vexed and frustrated.
"Did...Did something happen Denks? With Jirou? Or... Um something else?" You wearily question.
He turns his head around to face you so quickly it's a wonder how he didn't get whiplash. "Why would something happen with Jirou?" He looks quizzically at you, having no idea why you're bringing her up.
You became equally confused as you see his expression. "I thought maybe something happened and you wanted to get away from her." You take a sip of your drink, using it as an excuse to look away from him.
"Nothing happened with Jirou or anyone. I just wanted to spend time with you," he says while running his hand through his hair, you look up just in time to see him and cuss him out in your head for looking so attractive.
If you were anyone else you would have asked him further questions but you're use to this by now, his confusing statements that always leave you wondering why he wants something. If you were anyone else you would have wondered why he didn't want to spend time with any of the others or spend time with Jirou, the girl he's mad about. Instead he wants to spend his time with you when he see's you every single day but by this point you're use to it. When he says random things and constantly wants your attention, really living up to the 'puppy dog eyes.'
"Let's live together."
"Are you sure you want to live with me Denki. I mean we've got enough money to buy our own places." he convinced you that living together would be the best decision you would ever make, it was.
You were tidying up the house one day when Denki came up behind you scaring you. "Come shopping with me." you put your hands on your hips and turn to face him.
"Now why on earth would I do that Denks, it's your turn to go shopping."
"It's no fun without you though." you agree but grumble about how it's his turn and you're going to both go together next time. he happily agrees like that was part of his plan all along.
you hear clutter in the living room as Denki's searching for all the takeout menu's. "let's order in tonight."
"I've got a date remember.
"Yeah I do but he's ugly and I'm better. Pizza?"
When you and Denki went to watch a film at the cinema, you run into Eijirou and you stopped to talk for awhile, arranging to all hang out later tonight as you were all free. Denki flicks your hand. "pay attention to me."
Denki casually tells you, "if we're not married by the time we're 40 we should get married," causing you to spit out your tea. "Two pros getting married will boost both our ratings up like crazy, the look on our parents faces when we tell it's a publicity stunt though will be interesting, pretty sure my parents like you better than they like me. Mina and Kirishima are planning to do the same thing."
"Bold of you to assume i'm going to make it 40." You chuckle.
You don't see the angry look on his face as replies, "you better."
You giggle, "you just can't live without someone paying attention to you every hour of every day." In a normal setting your heart would be bursting out of your chest but you knew he didn't mean what he said, it surprised you but after you got over the initial shock it was fine. He's just been listening to Kirishima too much. Plus both of your ratings are good enough as it is and there is already speculation of you both together.
"You'll stay with me right?" Denki takes a sip of his drink and looks hopeful at you.
"All night." You respond before stealing his drink and tasting it, scrunching your nose in disgust, "Denks, this is gross."
You stay together alone for the majority of the night at the bar before you decide it's probably in both your best interests to mingle. The whole time Denki stays attached to you, staying by your side.
It's now getting late and you start wondering if it would be appropriate for you to take your leave. The gala hasn't ended but it could be on all night for all you know. You've seen some heroes leave but Denki's next to you smirking at a joke Mic said and you have a feeling this is going to be a long night.
You're trying to keep up with everyone, with Denki, but it's hard with your social battery draining. You excuse yourself from the conversation to go to the bathroom, although it's just an excuse for you to take a deep breath and be away from all the noise and chatter.
After a couple minutes you head back out of the bathroom and go out to find Denki when you hear Hanta calling your name. Before you can comprehend what you're doing your legs walk and you go to Hanta. He's standing on his own which is surprising, due to the charismatic and social butterfly he is.
"You look tired."
"Gee, thanks Hanta. Did you call me over just to say that?"
"Oh snappy aren't you? I didn't mean it as a bad thing, I promise. I'm just surprised you're still here that's all."
"Well I'm surprised you're here alone." You reply, you know you're being short with him but you're just so drained and it feels like he's teasing you.
He doesn't take any offence to your tone and short replies.
"Actually I was with Midoriya but I left when I saw you to come talk to you."
"Oh." you mumble.
"You look super drained, why haven't you gone home yet?" He questions gently as to try and let you know he's coming from a place of caring and he's not teasing you.
"Denki's having fun." You nod your head to where he is, where he's animatedly telling a story to Hawks.
"Hmmm, do you want me to take you home." Sero leans closer to you. He's so tuned in on your feelings and your needs, he always just knows.
You look up to see him softly smiling at you, "you look really nice tonight Hanta."
He chuckles and pulls you closer so you're leaning against him. "Thank you pretty girl, but that's not what i asked is it?" he strokes your knuckles with his thumb as he mumbles under his breath about how you're too tired.
"You really would take me home Han? You're having a good time though." you ask quietly, not sure if you want to go home but if you were more awake and socially aware you'd be calling Hanta your saviour right now for the offer.
"You're more important. If you want me to take you home I will."
Neither of you are aware but you're being watched, if Denki saw you he'd come marching up and drag you away but he's so invested in the conversation he's having that he doesn't know where you are. The people who do see however are Katsuki, Mina and Kiri and that's not the best people to see because right now Mina is jumping to every possible conclusion.
Mina may be the worst person to see this innocent act other than Denki but at the same time Kirishima is hardly any better as he's thinking about every interaction he's seen you two have together and every word you've spoken about each other. Katsuki is the one telling Mina to 'leave it alone', 'it's not a big deal', 'it's probably nothing' and to 'forget about it'. He makes a quick glance around the room trying to spot Kaminari. He knew you and Sero were close but not this close. He thought that you and Kaminari have been dating for years and have been lying to everyone who asks about it. Dating as a pro was hard so he just assumed you two kept it super under the radar from everyone, including your friends. He never pushed either of you on the subject.
"Bakugou, there's no way there isn't something going between those two! Of course it's a big deal and of course I'm going to talk about it! Do you think they're dating or that they're just into each other?" Mina whispers loudly and excitedly. "Oh my god! She asked me to help her buy a dress, do you think that was because of Sero?" She directs the question to Kirishima knowing that they live close together and he's more likely to entertain her questions.
He doesn't want to get involved in you and Sero's relationship, it wouldn't be manly of him but he does wonder why neither of you have never mentioned anything to him before. He thinks about Kaminari and how it gives him a weird feeling. By the way you're leaning against each other now right now and talking close so that only each other can hear he has to admit it that it does look rather intimate.
"Don't forget guys, they're both always very touchy with people, not just with other." He's trying to rationalise it and you do always touch Kaminari and fall asleep on Sero and hug Mina, but when Sero leans down closer to talk to you it puts Bakugou and Kirishima on edge, Mina is ecstatic for her friends but Bakugou and Kirishima are now hyper-aware that Kaminari is in the room.
You look around the room trying to find Denki. "Want to wait for Denki."
Hanta straightens his posture and takes a deep breath but you're none the wiser. "Are you sure? He might be here for hours. I don't want you to collapse out of exhaustion."
"I'm sure Han," you whisper. "I'll.. I'll, wait for him. He shouldn't be too long. Thank you though, you're the best."
Right on cue, Denki turns around and looks at you, his eyes hardens when he see that you leaning against Hanta but as soon as you see him you beam from ear to ear, softening Denki's gaze. He excuses himself from the conversation he's having and starts to go over to you. Hanta noticed Denki, "I think Kaminari might take you home, he looks pretty displeased right now."
You giggle, "he's been a bit more protective of late. I think it's because our patrol times have been different and we haven't seen each other much. Hopefully soon it will be back to normal."
"Hey 'doll, hey Sero. What are you guys up to?"
You move off of Hanta, "can we go home soon Denki, 'm tired."
Denki's heart nearly breaks as he see's how drained you are and how drained you must have been for ages. "I'm sorry babydoll, I've been so wrapped up talking to everyone. I promise I'll make it up to you, let's go home yeah?" you nod your head and wave bye to Hanta.
Denki knows he should probably say goodbye to everyone individually but right now all he cares about is getting you back home. "Can you tell everyone we left and said bye Hanta," Denki requests.
"Sure thing dude. See you guys later, get home safe."
Denki holds your hand and intertwines your fingers with his before guiding you out.
The three onlookers were still watching the interaction, all with their drinks in their hand with Bakugou and Kirishima breathing a sigh of relief, when, from the distance it looked like everything was okay between Kaminari and Sero.
"Do you think she loves him?" Mina asks as she watches you follow Denki.
"Who?" Kirishima observes you leave.
"Kaminari." Mina responds having not taken her eyes off you since you started making your way to the door.
"Leave it raccoon eyes."
"it's just a question Bakugou." Mina retorts.
Kirishima sighs as he answers, "it's not any of our business Mina."
"They're our friends Kirishima."
"Yes and because of that we're staying out of it." As they were watching they were caught by Sero, making accidental eye contact with him. Everyone quickly looks away.
Denki takes you home and on the way he keeps apologising. "Please don't say sorry Denks." You squeeze his hand that you're still holding.
He turns to you and moves some of your hair out of the way of your face and delicately tucks it behind your ear, "'doll I am so sorry, and I need to apologise. I should have been more aware and have been making sure you're okay. I know how quickly your social battery drains, especially compared to mine, I should of been checking up on you," he's looking you in the eye, you think he must be tired too because his eyes are slightly watery. He presses your foreheads together and says so quietly it's a surprise you even heard him apoligise again, "I'm sorry."
You keep the same energy as he does and keep your foreheads together still touching, "it's okay Denki, I promise. You're here now. Plus Hanta was making sure I was okay."
Denki changes position and turns his head away from you, "yeah, but it should have been me."
Come the following morning Kirishima and Mina have completely forgot the conversation they had the previous, they had too much to drink and their memory of the end of the night is fuzzy only remembering pieces. Bakugou didn't drink at all, he remembers everything. He won't say anything to anyone.
You wake up to Denki entering your room with a tray and a huge gleeful grin on his face, "breakfast in bed! Made just for you." You rub your eyes slowly waking up, "I let you sleep in but I'm off today and so are you, so I thought we could spend the day together."
You groan, "five more minutes."
"I thought you'd say that," Denki chuckles and places the tray on your bedside table, "budge up, if you're going back to bed, I'm waiting here until you do." You groan as you make room for him. If you were more awake you would be internally screaming that Denki Kaminari, your best friend and the man you love is currently sitting next to you in bed but you're already half asleep.
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tag list: @xnorthstar3x @st4r-girl-official @potatoboiasta
(everyone in my tag list that wanted to be tagged disappeared? i think they deleted their accounts or something, if i find them i'll tag them, let me know if you want to added to my tag list! )
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anvilsims · 6 months
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Been working on this for a long long time and I finally reached a point that I'm happy with it. I hope Simmers who are also big Nintendo fans like this.
Shout-out to @tomatomagica/@sims4niya for helping me out with making certain goals and just looking over the rules in general. :)
UPDATE: Slightly changed the goals in Gen 8, please reblog this version.
General Rules:
No cheats unless otherwise stated in generation rules, needed to reset a sim, or for decoration/building purposes.
Mods are okay, provided they do not give you an unfair advantage. What constitutes an unfair advantage is up to you.
Complete each generation's Aspiration
Above all, have fun. If that means continuing onto the next generation without finishing all of the previous gen goals, that’s okay.
(Generations beyond the cut)
Generation 1 Animal Crossing:
Traits: Loves Outdoors/Outgoing/Maker
Aspiration: Curator
You have moved into a new town with nothing but the clothes on your back. Well at least Mr. Nook was nice enough to give you a new home even with the work you'll have to do to pay him off. It’ll be tough but you’ve quite the knack for building and your neighbors seem more than happy to cheer you on.
Move into an empty lot and build a small house. (Optional: Make your house a Tiny Home Residential lot and choose what tier to work with from there.)
After one day, move two single townie sims into your neighborhood and become friends with them (If one of them becomes your founder’s spouse, make a new neighbor to move into their old house.)
Neither the founder nor spouse will hold a job, they will make money via at home activities like painting, fishing, etc.
Have a room to display your collections
At the end of every sim week, use cheats or mods to remove half of your household funds (to pay off your debt to Mr. Nook) until both your sim and their spouse reach the adult stage.
~~~
Generation 2 Splatoon: 
Traits: Creative/Dance Machine/Party Animal
Aspiration: Famous Celebrity 
Despite your humble beginnings, you always dreamed big. You were often found drawing outfits from fashion magazines or singing along to your favorite pop idols or doing cool poses for selfies at the pool. Once you became a teen, you started taking little steps to join that glamorous world.
Become a simfluencer as a teen
Move to San Myshuno or Del Sol Valley once you become a Young Adult
Reach the top of the Style Influencer career (Trendsetter branch)
Host a party once every sim week
Either become or marry a merperson. Heir however must be just a sim.
Max out painting, dancing, and singing skills
~~~
Generation 3 Legend of Zelda:
Traits: Good/Adventurous/Music Lover
Aspiration: Jungle Explorer
Everyone expected you to become a spoiled brat but thankfully you turned out to be a good kid with a love for music and a dream of exploring far-off ancient ruins. You make a friend who supports you all the way but you also make an enemy constantly getting in your way.
Make a friend as a child or teen, become BFFs with them, and stay that way for as long as either sim lives (friend can be a future spouse) 
As a child or teen become enemies with one sim and stay enemies for as long as either sim lives. Win at least five fights with them. (Optional: Have this sim be an evil sim)
Max out the Archaeology skill and one instrument skill
Complete the Ancient Omiscan Artifacts Collection
Get the “Brave” reward trait
~~~
Generation 4 Earthbound: 
Traits: Goofball/Active/Geek
Aspiration: Friend of the World
Because of your parent’s travels, you never lived in one spot for too long. Despite that, you still liked making new friends and finding ways to keep in touch. And you learned to appreciate the magic in every world… figurative and literal.
Live in four different worlds before becoming a young adult
Make three friends and create a club with them (Optional: Make these friends as a child and grow up together)
Max out photography and comedy skills
Become a spellcaster as a teen and work on reaching the top rank
Complete the Postcard Collection
Adopt a dog when your first kid becomes a child
~~~
Generation 5 Pokemon:
Traits: Dog (or Cat) Lover (Animal Enthusiast)/Vegetarian/Socially Awkward
Aspiration: Friend of the Animals or Country Caretaker
Ever since you were little, you were obsessed with animals and even got along better with them than people. Your friends blame your childhood obsession with Voidcritters (even if some of them weren't really animals). When you grew up, you knew you were going to surround yourself with animals.
Complete the Voidcritters Collection
Adopt at least eight pets over your lifetime including at least one stray.
Have both cats and dogs
Open a Vet Clinic (pokemon center) and get it to five stars
Max out Veterinary and pet training skills
OR
Complete Voidcritters Collection
Adopt a fox or raccoon
Have at least one of each farm animal (chickens, cow, and llamas)
Win first place in each animal fair in Henford-On-Bagley
Learn all the animal treat recipes
~~~
Generation 6 Mario:
Heir 1 Traits: Family Oriented/Bro/Loyal
Heir 2 Traits: Squeamish/Clumsy/Bro
Heir 1 Aspiration: Nerd Brain
Heir 2 Aspiration: Mansion Baron
You and your sibling were as thick as thieves growing up and neither of you really liked the idea of one of you moving away so they stuck around. But that doesn’t mean they don’t have their own adventures.
Chose two siblings to serve as Double Heirs, they do not need to be twins
Both heirs take a part time job as Manual Laborers until one of them gets married then the married one joins the Doctor career
The other heir maxes out the Medium skill and becomes a Paranormal Investigator
Both heirs max out Handiness skill
One heir unlocks Sylvan Glade and the other unlocks Forgotten Grotto
~~~
Generation 7 Kirby:
Traits: Foodie (or Glutton)/Cheerful/Childish
Aspiration: Renaissance Sim
You grew up in a very supportive environment with family members encouraging you to try a little bit of everything. You liked helping your family cook but you also discovered a love for acting from trying so many different hats. At that point, you decided that you were gonna be a superstar!
Join Drama Club as a child or teen
Max out the Cooking, Gourmet Cooking, and acting skills
Reach the top of the Actor career
Reach pristine public image
Gain the People Person lifestyle
Once you become an elder, retire from acting and open a business selling cooked meals.
~~~
Generation 8 Metroid: 
Traits: Loner/Unflirty/Noncommittal
Aspiration: Strangerville Mystery
While your parent enjoyed the spotlight, you preferred to keep to yourself with exercising and star gazing. As soon as you were able to, you moved out into your own place in a quiet out of the way town called Strangerville. However it seems your wish for a normal quiet life wasn’t meant to be.
Max out body and wellness skills
Reach the sixth level of the Astronaut career and quit after one shift.
Only take odd jobs after quitting your career
Have an alien child (feel free to cheat/mod to get an abduction or to get a female sim alien pregnant)
Gain the Techie lifestyle
Never marry
~~~
Generation 9 Pikmin:
Traits: Hot headed/Overachiever/Genius
Aspiration: Freelance Botanist
Despite your alien heritage, you adored the world you grew up in but that isn’t to say you had no interest in the stars. You enjoyed helping out at the school greenhouse along with watching for comets and UFOs on weekends. It didn’t take long before you started to wonder if there was a way to combine your love for both worlds.
Join Scouts as a child
Master gardening and rocket science skills
Visit Sixam and befriend three different colored aliens
Complete the Geode and Space rock collections 
Find all three alien plants on Sixam and plant them in your garden (Do NOT buy them in Henford-On-Bagley)
~~~
Generation 10 Fire Emblem:
Traits: Bookworm/Proper/Ambitious
Aspiration: Leader of the Pack 
Growing up, you admired stories of brave knights and kind heroes. While you eventually outgrew the fairy tales, you still wanted to help people like the brave hero kings and queens in the stories.Thus together with your closest friends, you decide to try to make a positive difference in the world.
If a sim dies, you cannot plead with the Grim Reaper nor can you resurrect them in any way
Max out Charisma, writing, and research & debate skills 
Reach the top of the Political Career (Politician branch)
Form a club (forming an army) and eventually build up to recruiting eight members
Marry a member of your club (and if they aren’t already, have them join the military career)
Write a Bestseller Fantasy book
If you give the challenge a shot, either @ me or tag "NintendoLegacyChallenge"
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peanutpinet · 3 months
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Girl i need more of Johnny ans flower that was soooooo goood. If i understood correctly that requests are open could you do like a scenario where flower and medical girl are somehow together in thr nct tower building and ot goes on lockdown due to an attack pn it so jphnny and taeyong havw to save them together!?
Ours - Mafia Leader! Taeyong x Medic Girl & Mafia! Johnny Suh x Flower
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Official TY’s girl name: Kim Eunji
Official Johnny’s girl name: Chrissanna Lee
A/N: hi anon! I’m glad you enjoyed reading my recent Johnny mafia fic and even read some of my old fics, literally the first NCT fic I’ve ever made. So sorry that it took me so long to write this for you since I was travelling and have been caught up with some freelance work and also recently started a new job which tbh I don't like :') but I hope that you enjoy the story and I'm sorry if it doesn't meet your expectations >.<!
Also, also!! Let me introduce you guys the official names for Taeyong’s medic girl: Kim Eunji and Johnny’s flower: Chrissanna Lee. Lil easter eggs of previous mafia fics
It was a rare peaceful day in NCT. Mainly because all the tasks that Taeyong had to take care of was actually done and he was just going looking over at his members’ businesses when his girlfriend and nurse, Eunji came by to his office, bringing him his lunch.
“Hey. I hope that I’m not interrupting anything boss” Eunji asked as she went into Taeyong’s office where Taeyong was with Doyoung and Johnny
“You would never interrupt anything” Taeyong smiled, standing up to greet his girlfriend with open arms and kissed the side of Eunji’s head
“Stop that. Your members are here. Hi Doyoung, Hi Johnny” Eunji greeted the other members
“Hey. It’s been a while Eunji. Sorry to ask you this but how’s Chris? Is she doing better?” Johnny asked, still worried about his girlfriend despite it being a few months since he got rid of the people who made them have PTSD
“Hey. She’s doing much better. She’s opening up more and we’re actually going to hang out together tomorrow” Eunji mentioned, grabbing both Taeyong and Johnny’s attention
“Tomorrow? Is that one of the reasons you wanted to come here and see me?” Taeyong sulked, making Doyoung fake vomit as Eunji kissed his cheek
“No. But I might as well say it whilst on the topic” Eunji replied whilst also handing over some paperwork from the lab
“And this is why I don’t want you coming when there are other members around. We don’t get any alone time and I barely get to see you” Taeyong sighed but Eunji just kissed his cheek, massaging his shoulders
“Well, Mr Leader, we just came back from a one-week trip together. Don’t you think that that’s enough for now? You know that it takes time to train the new recruits” Eunji mentioned
“Eunji is right, hyung, the new batch of recruits takes a lot of time to train because of how incompetent most of them are. The girls especially try to flirt with the dream members but you know how annoyed the boys with girlfriends are” Doyoung mentioned
“You should see Jeno almost wanting to strangle a girl because she was bad-mouthing his girlfriend when she managed to find her socials” Eunji added on, making Taeyong rise his eyebrow
“Jeno took care of it. He had Haechan broadcast a whole Twitter thread that that girl made” Eunji chuckled, remembering that time
“That’s Haechan. You can try to tease him but when it passes a line, he’ll make sure you’ll regret it” Taeyong mentioned, knowing his younger member’s habit of ruining someone’s life through hacking
“So, Eunji. You and Chris? You guys going tomorrow?” Johnny asked again
“Yeap. We’re not going anywhere crazy, trust me. We’re just going into town for a bit and we’ll come back to the NCT HQ. Is it alright to show her around the HQ?” Eunji asked
“I think that’s best. We’re actually going out on a mission tomorrow so if you can make it back before it gets dark, it would be better” Johnny mentioned, making Eunji look at Taeyong
“I too was going to tell you that I’m going to be out tomorrow but you came here first so, here we are” Taeyong shrugged, earning a light smack from Eunji
“How many of you guys are going to be out? What’s the mission this time? I can postpone my outing with Chris if you need me” Eunji asked but Taeyong stopped her by turning to hold her hands in his and kissed them
“No need for that. It’s just some light fieldwork. It won’t take that long anyway. We’ll be back by sundown. That is if Johnny doesn’t mind leaving his girlfriend for one day that is” Taeyong teased but Johnny just eyed him
“I’m not possessive. I just prefer if I was there with her but since Eunji will be with her, I’m completely fine. Chris has always wanted a girls day out” Johnny mentioned. “Thank you for looking after her, Eunji. I really appreciate it”
“Of course, John. It’s the least I could do after everything you’ve all done for me” Eunji mentioned
“Ehem, we should get going. Jaehyun told me that the others are already waiting for us” Doyoung mentioned, interrupting the conversation, making Eunji giggle
“You take care, love. Use my card. If I find you not using it, I’m gonna block yours. Don’t think you can fool me about that” Taeyong mentioned, wrapping his arm around Eunji’s waist as he, Eunji, Johnny and Doyoung left Taeyong’s office together
“I will. You guys take care of yourselves” Eunji mentioned, kissing Taeyong’s cheek
“We will. Call me if anything happens” Taeyong replied as Eunji nodded before Taeyong kissed the side of Eunji’s head one last time before she left the elevator first
The Next Day
Just as Eunji told Taeyong and Johnny the other day, she and Chris would be going out on a girls day together. Eunji and Chris went to the NCT HQ first and met up with their respective boyfriends who gave them each their own credit cards and made each girl promise to use the given cards instead of their own.
After spending almost all morning at the HQ, Eunji finally finished her paperwork and handed back to Xiaojun before bidding her boyfriend goodbye to spend the day with Chris.
“You tell me if anything happens, alright? We might be back by night but if anything should happen…” Taeyong rambled but Eunji shut him up by pecking his lips
“We’ll be alright, Tyong. We’re just going to have some lunch and then shop around town for a moment. We’ll meet you guys back at the HQ. I promise I’ll call if anything happens” Eunji replied, Taeyong still holding onto her hand
Sighing, Taeyong stood up and cupped Eunji’s face, his face softened. “Alright. I’m not going to hold you back any longer. Johnny just texted me that he’s waiting downstairs to send you both off. I’ll see you tonight then” Taeyong kissed Eunji’s cheek and let her off
After bidding Johnny goodbye as well, Eunji and Chriss went into town and headed to a local’s favourite brunch spot and after they’ve seated and ordered their food and drinks, they finally get to have some girl time.
“Do you work at the HQ every day or do you get to go on field missions?” Chris asked, making Eunji look at her
“Mainly in the lab. Ever since the incident, Taeyong hasn’t really let me go on a field mission on my own. I would always have to go with at least 2 of his members or with him. Otherwise, I won’t be allowed on the field” Eunji replied
“You went through a traumatic experience too?” Chriss asked and Eunji smiled back at her
“It wasn’t as bad as yours. Mine happened at the HQ and during one of the fieldwork. Both were because someone from within the recruits was a mole. It wasn’t as bad, trust me. I’m alright now. I was lucky honestly. I did have a trauma with guns since I was little and Taeyong helped me with it. I’ve gotten better” Eunji told Chriss who gave her a sad smile
“I guess we were both lucky to have met such amazing men and people to help us. I was completely alone for years and I didn’t think that Johnny would be the type of person that he is today. Or even when that night that I almost tried to leave but he stopped me” Chriss mentioned
“I know that it’s still hard for you to open up but trust me, you’re safe when you’re in the main circle. No one is judging you. Every other member in the main circle have their own traumas and difficulties. Even Taeyong who’s the leader and is supposed to be the strongest and toughest member. We all have our nightmares and different ways to cope them” Eunji mentioned
“How do you handle being part of this whole thing? I heard that you were one of their recruits back then” Chriss asked as Eunji sipped her coffee
“Well. That’s a long story. But to cut it short, I didn’t have such a happy childhood like yours. My parents were killed in front of me. By the time the police and the government found me, I was so weak and bloody. They took me in but trained me to be part of the NCT recruit system. Eventually, I joined the recruits and rose in the ranks. I partially think it was because since a young age I had to learn everything on my own. I also had to survive on my own. But despite being able to excel in just about anything. I couldn’t overcome my trauma with shotguns. Not necessary that I was afraid of shotguns but I just couldn’t shoot anyone in their vital parts. Especially when someone is holding a gun within an arms range towards me. I would be petrified. It happened once and I fainted on the spot. That’s why since then Taeyong won’t really let me go on field missions without any NCT members” Eunji replied
“Is it scary? To fight and see all the gruesome scenes?” Chriss
“It was in the beginning. But as time went on, the more I trained, the more used to it I was. Well, except for my trauma. But one thing that you should believe me is that the neos will try their best to keep their woman out of anything that relates to the mafia. Even if how they met their woman was through some traumatic experience like you” Eunji tried to reassure Chriss
“Now that last part I believe because Johnny has not told me anything about the mafia. He would tell me a bit of the entertainment agency he runs but aside from that, nothing” Chriss chuckled
The two girls talked and went around town, buying some things for themselves and their boyfriends until they saw that the sun was about to set. Realising that it was going to get dark soon, the two girls took the car back to the NCT HQ and told their boyfriends along the way who were still out with the majority of the NCT team on a field mission.
Arriving back at the HQ, the two girls went up to the top where Taeyong’s office was because aside from the NCT members, Eunji too had access to Taeyong’s office.
Feeling bored waiting for their boyfriends, Eunji invited Chriss to go on a little NCT HQ tour which she was more than happy to go because despite being in the building, Chriss has never actually explored the building because whenever she was with Johnny, he would just bring her to his office or the other NCT members’ office.
The two girls then headed through each floor with Eunji being the tour guide and explaining most of the rooms in the building. Because most of the people in the building knows Eunji, she would often stop by and greet them. Sometimes she would even check in on some of the new recruits.
In the midst of their tour around the building, suddenly, the building went on lockdown due to a breach in the system. Yangyang who was still in the HQ announced to the entire building to stay calm but Eunji grabbed Chriss and headed to where Yangyang was.
“Yangyang!” Eunji exclaimed, grabbing the young member’s attention
“Eunji! What are you doing here and is that…” Yangyang uttered
“It’s Chriss, Johnny’s girlfriend. What happened?” Eunji asked, striding to Yangyang who was overviewing the control room
“Someone tried hacking into the system. Haechan and Jungwoo are working on it. I’m helping them however I can from over here. Winwin, Hendery, and Chenle are searching around the building. Taeil, Doyoung, and Renjun are checking on the recruits and everyone to make sure that everyone is alright” Yangyang informed Eunji
Looking at each of the security screens, Eunji noticed that not all parts of the building were monitored. “Yangyang, what about the floor between 1 and 2” Eunji whispered
“Eun, I doubt anyone besides our internal members knows about that floor. No one should even have the access key to that floor because it’s DNA and facial recognition security” Yangyang replied back
“But you never know. I’ll go then” Eunji uttered
“Eun. Taeyong-hyung is not going to allow that. We’re in complete lockdown. Several of our members are already going around and the others are on their way back from the mission which they succeed by the way. You and Chriss should stay here and that’s final” Yangyang stated
“You’re forgetting something” Eunji stated, walking towards the door, grabbing Chriss with her
Yangyang who realised what Eunji was going to do tried to rush to her but she immediately disappeared behind the door along with Chriss.
“Hyung. I think we need to change our plans” Yangyang stated in his intercom
On the Secret Floor
“Was this place always here?” Chriss asked as both she and Eunji went into the elevator and Eunji pressed both the first and second floor while scanning her ID card
“Since the building was built. This floor is sacred and only the main NCT members and certain staffs…”
“Like you?”
“Like me. Gets their ID card with a specific chip for this. It’s sacred because, on this floor, we keep our top weapons that are still under development. Some of them can be deadly because they’re still unstable. Even if an intruder comes here and steals the weapon, it’s fine because it has a self-destruct system if an unknown person touches it. But the blueprint on the other hand, that’s what I worry about the most. No one should be able to get their hands on it” Eunji mentioned
As the door opened, Eunji instructed Chriss to stay nearby as they made their way through the floor and headed to where the weapon design room was. Going into the room, Eunji went through every single desk to make sure that all the blueprints were there but in the midst of going through the blueprints, Eunji felt something was off and immediately grabbed a backup weapon and turned around to point it only to meet the intruder who held Chriss as their hostage.
“I think it would be best if you put your weapon down and hand over all the blueprints” the intruder spoke, the knife he held almost pierced through Chriss’ skin until I let down my weapon
“You really think this is smart? I think it would be best that you let her go and turn yourself in before you regret it” Eunji tried to sound tough even though deep down she was shaking from the fear of what the intruder had up their sleeve
Within seconds, there were multiple footsteps that came but knowing NCT, those weren’t the typical footstep sounds that they would make and Eunji was right because there were some other intruders who turned out to be pretending to be some of the cleaning staff in the NCT building.
Both Eunji and Chriss were then captured by the intruders and used as hostages to get out of the building. The intruders took the majority of the blueprints that were in the room and were about to head out from the floor when the lights were suddenly off and gunshots filled the hallways along with loud combat boots sounds.
When the light came back on, the majority of the NCT members came, cornering the intruders who were on the floor, bleeding out as the members shot them but not at their vital organs. At one corner, Taeyong came forward while on the other corner was Johnny who did the same thing. Both men looked at the intruder who looked like he was going to pee in his pants but instead of shooting them or doing anything violent, both men moved forward and softly took their girlfriends away from the scene as the other members took care of the intruders.
NCT Penthouse - Taeyong’s penthouse
Back at Taeyong’s penthouse, both Taeyong and Johnny immediately got their girlfriends treated by Kun and XIaojun. After they were treated, Taeyong softly asked Eunji what exactly happened because Yangyang only told them that there was an intruder in the building and that both Eunji and Chriss were heading to the secret floor.
Once Eunji told them everything, both Taeyong and Johnny looked at each other and though the two of them want nothing more to torment the intruders, they knew that taking care of their girlfriends came first.
Taeyong decided to cook for the four of them while Johnny prepared some movie night to calm both girls’ nerves even if he and Taeyong were still angered at what happened.
“I’m sorry” Eunji spoke, grabbing Taeyong’s attention who was softly playing with her hair as she was laying on his chest while Johnny and Chriss were back at Johnny’s penthouse
“What are you sorry for? If anything I’m sorry for always getting you stuck in these kind of situations” Taeyong replied
“It wasn’t your fault, bubu. Plus, I was a recruit before I was your girlfriend. It’s still my duty to deal with these things” Eunji mentioned
“I know. I know you’re still apart of all of this and as much as I want to offer you a normal life, I know that I can’t just yet. But I’m grateful how understanding you are with all of this and how patient you have been with the situations. I just wish that you wouldn’t be so stubborn and go out of your way to deal with this on your own. At least ask a member to come with you” Taeyong lectured while Eunji just draw circles on his chest
“Lil rose…” Taeyong called out, making Eunji stared at him but decided to tease him by softly kissing his jawline, making the mafia leader groan in frustration before turning their positions around and pining the girl underneath him
“Don’t tempt me, babe, I’m already frustrated and annoyed about the intruders” Taeyong warned but Eunji wrapped her arms around her boyfriend
“I’m not. Plus, you’re not the only one that’s frustrated” Eunji smirked before squealing as Taeyong suddenly lifted her up
“Well then, let’s both relieve that frustration, shall we?” Taeyong smirked, softly pecking Eunji’s lips before carrying her to his room
Johnny’s Penthouse - Johnny’s POV
After we’ve had dinner and watch a movie at Taeyong’s penthouse, Chriss looked tired so I decided to let Taeyong know that we would be heading back to my penthouse first before anything else we have to do.
Back at my penthouse, Chriss and I were chilling on the bed while we watch through her favorite show, Avatar the Last Airbender. In the midst of the show, I noticed that Chriss fell asleep and smiled to myself knowing that she was able to rest despite what she had to go through today.
But right when I tucked her in, I noticed that her breathing was out of control and she started to stir around in her sleep. Worried, I immediately sat next to her and gently shook her until she woke up.
When Chriss woke up, I handed her some water before getting under the covers next to her, wrapping my arm around her small body. “It must’ve been scary”
But as I expected, Chriss just cuddled closer and grabbed my shirt, nodding her head. “I know that Eunji is one of your friends here but why did you take the risk and followed her when you know it could be dangerous?”
“B-because, I want to help her. I want to help you” Chriss let out, looking at me with her doe eyes which makes me want to just squeeze her tightly and never let go
“Flower. You’re too sweet but it makes me worry you know. I’m worried that something worse could’ve happened even if it didn’t. I know you’re bored staying here on your own and just going to college but I’m still worried about you. If you wanted to train some self-defense then I can help with that but other than that, I wouldn’t want you to be involved in anything dangerous, okay?” I rambled on which made Chriss chuckle
“What’s so funny? I’m being serious here. I’m worried you know that” I groaned but Chriss hugged me tighter
“I know. But you look funny when you ramble like that. You like more approachable this way” Chriss chuckled, making me smile bigger
“Only for you that is” I smiled, bringing Chriss closer and kissed the top of her head, being with her until she fell asleep
NCT HQ - 1:27 am (3rd POV)
After both their respective girlfriends finally went into their slumber, both Taeyong and Johnny headed back to the NCT HQ together and once arrived, they immediately headed to where they would always keep their captives.
Reaching one of the rooms, the two met up with Jaehyun along with Yuta who were both waiting for them. “Apparently they’re all just some kids. Well, they’re practically in their late teens, early twenties but kids nonetheless” Yuta stated
“I doubt they’re kids if they’re as old as some of our younger members. They’re old enough to take responsibility for their actions” Johnny scoffed but Taeyong made no comment
Instead, Taeyong made his way into the room and unlike previous rooms, this one actually looked like a classroom with the teacher’s desk in the far front and there were around 20 desks and chairs in the room. Only instead of students, the room was filled with the intruders who tried to steal from them and were tied down to their chairs.
“Were you really going to hurt them?” was all Taeyong asked to the intruders, specifically targeting towards the leader amongst them
When he didn’t hear any answer Taeyong sighed and went up towards them and in a blink of an eye, Taeyong managed to scare everyone by pointing one of his knives by the leader’s throat, making them swallow their saliva.
“Yuta was right. You all should be grateful that you’re just a bunch of kids. Granted that you’re as old as some of our youngest members. But that doesn’t mean we won’t discipline you. Isn’t that right, Johnny?” Taeyong stated, looking at his fellow 95 line mate who looked at the intruders with a smirk
“Of course. What kind of leaders are we if we don’t discipline troublemakers” Johnny smirked as the two most feared men in NCT tormented their intruders
A/n: I'm so sorry I've been MIA for 2 months but life has been busy. I travelled for 2 weeks, was sick for 2 weeks and now just started a new job, somehow have a lot of freelance to do and yea, life is pretty hectic. But I hope that everyone's 2024 has been good, if not, we're on the same page then.
Also, am so sad that TY is finally going to enlist but I shall wait patiently for his return :') also", does anyone play nct zone? If you do, please message me so we can be mutuals in the game. Kay. I have one more request for the NCT mafia fic. If anyone wants to request anything, even just a simple one-shot, just hit me up. I shall now go back to suffer this office job that I haven't even worked for 1 week yet :))
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jupitervega · 1 year
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fleein the south part II
hi, i'm ri & i'm an autistic nonbinary trans guy-lite-ish person. 4 years ago i moved out to denver from mississippi (where i was born & raised) & immediately had a massive improvement in my quality of life. i was able to access medical & psychiatric care, my career stabilized, people were addressin me with correct terms for the most part, & i was startin to feel like life had finally begun
unfortunately when the lease ran out on our house end of summer last year my roommates decided not to renew, & then the people who were gonna be my new roommates backed out last minute. in a panic i looked for other options but with time runnin short & top surgery approachin i decided to recover at a friend's house & move back to mississippi once my surgeon cleared me to travel cross country so i could regroup somewhere i figured would be less expensive & at least somewhat familiar
that, friends, was a very costly & painful mistake! every single problem that made me wanna move away in the first place has only exacerbated!
i'm comin up on 8 months post top surgery, i have a beard, & i'm still gettin called ma'am/she/her. trump flags & signs still adorn many yards/porches here. hatred & bigotry run rampant in local politics. the other day i didn't even enter one of the convenience stores in the town where i live when i stopped by because they had posted a very thinly veiled racist sign on the door
when i arrived back here i was not even a full month outta surgery & i had a minor complication, so i went to the emergency room cause what else was i sposed to do? applied for charity as i had around $100 to my name at that point, which i THINK? got approved? also applied for mississippi medicaid the same day, which got denied almost outright as i have no children. so i've been uninsured since november & rationin the 3 month supply of my psych/migraine meds i received before leavin colorado for goin on 7 months. never mind bein able to access hrt!
job prospects here are Not Great! i've had to collect unemployment for a while as i cannot for the life of me find a full time job with a livin wage. otherwise i literally cannot make ends meet as the jobs i've held so far down here are payin average 50% or less of what i was makin in denver. even with the part time gigs i've had i have yet to crack 30hr/wk on any kind of regular basis
housin is an absolute shitshow. my lease is up 1 july (got a month extension) & i've been searchin everywhere for an affordable place of my own or at least a good roommate. the more affordable studio/1bd apartments go for around $700 & up, but most have income requirements of 2.5-3x the monthly rent which, considerin previous point abt wages, is near impossible. roommate listins are available but the majority are questionable at best & seekin a live-in bangmaid at worst
with all these considerations i spent the past few weeks feelin worse & worse lookin for somewhere close to the job i currently have. the leases are like 6mo-1y so i was picturin another year down here & how i was gonna survive, let alone thrive. my thoughts got darker & darker. i'd wake up in the mornin & be sad/disappointed i'd survived the night
this is no way to live
i snapped a few days ago. said to myself "if i'm destined to struggle wherever i go, i'd rather do it somewhere i actually Wanted to be in the first place" & started applyin for housin in denver. waitin to hear back from my first option & have secured a backup with a friend with a spare room for 6mo in case that falls through
right now i need help gettin the hell out! i've got first month's rent already put back, i can continue to collect unemployment until i land a good job in denver, & i'm already reachin out to find somewhere to work. i just don't have anywhere to go for another month or two to save the money i'll need to travel almost 1200mi (~1900km) back to colorado. i'll need at least $500 to make gas/food happen durin the time it will take me to get there, & i need it by the first of july (38 days from day of postin)
please help me escape!!!
ca: $jupitervega
vmo: jupitervega
ppal
please please please donate whatever you're able! pls boost!
thank u so much for readin, pls have an item from my emergency happy photo folder for yr enjoyment
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angel-eyes05 · 1 year
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bite the hand (chapter 1)
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pairing: spider-woman!oc x miguel o’hara 
summary: lorena's whole world was taken away from her in the blink of an eye, after she accidentally broke a canon event. lucky for her though, she was able to find a portal watch in her dimension and used it to get out before she glitched out of existence. unfortunately though, running from dimension to dimension, she's been named as an anomaly by the spider society. now, she's constantly on the run from them, their leader in particular. when she eventually gets caught though, she's recruited onto a mission to catch another anomaly who might be from her past. to her dismay though, her partner on this mission is her very captor. will she be able to stop arguing with him for long enough to get the job done?
info: enemies to lovers, maybe a slow burn depending on chapter count, oc is 24 and miguel is 27, both oc and miguel are super sad lmao, they're also both super violent so, they also hate each other what a slay, in regards to my oc you can read her character sheet right here
warnings: there might be spoilers for atsv in this so watch the movie before reading this, emetophobia, violence, blood mention, fangs
word count: 2.5k 
notes: i'm super excited to start this series!!! i'll also be posting a copy of this on ao3 cause i wanna start sharing my work there too so i'll put the link up here when i post it. also if you see me use "you" instead of "she/her" just ignore it i probably missed it while proofreading and it's instinct lol
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The stuffy air from inside the bag her head was under nearly suffocated her before she could wake up. Her breath was hot and shoved towards her face by the bag, causing her to sweat a little. As she slowly woke up, she found herself unable to move her arms and legs, bound to the chair by her wrists and ankles. She tried to wriggle herself around, the rope bounded so tightly she could feel herself losing circulation, but it was in vain as she quickly felt a striking force against her ribs as a result. Lorena in her chair was knocked to the ground. The bag was removed from her head, exposing her to the harsh, fluorescent lights in the room.
Another kick was sent to her stomach, knocking a nasty cough out of her. All she could see right now as her eyes were still adjusting was the two feet standing in front of her face. She spat some of the blood forming in her mouth onto the freshly cleaned black shoes. She winced as her head was pulled up to face the man in front of her by her hair. His cold, dead, blue eyes shot daggers into her fiery brown irises. “You’ve turned into quite the problem, haven’t you child?” the old man spat at you, his breath stinging your eyes. “Well maybe you should be nicer to your guests,” Lorena panted out, still recovering from the two kicks. The man nodded to someone behind her and her chair was pulled up to a sitting position.
Lorena grunted as her head was yanked back by whoever was behind her. “Come on Armando, I said I would get you the money, and I am! My guy’s just taking a little longer than usual,” she nervously blurted out, seeing Armando further up in the room by a desk of torture weapons. She wasn’t going to give him the money any time soon, and he knew it. She barely had any money to buy herself food.
Lorena had been stuck on Earth-523, her safe zone, for the past week. Normally, she would be out within a day or two. But with her portal watch broken, she had no way to get out. And she had been glitching a lot recently. Glitching bad. She had asked Armando, a black market dealer she had previous history with, for parts to fix the watch. She had forgotten about how much money she owed him though, and when she failed to have it with her when she asked for the favor, she was knocked out and taken to whatever bunker she was currently in.
She had honestly gotten tired of hopping between so many worlds like this. She had been doing it for the past couple of months and it was draining her. She missed the stability of a home. Her home. Earth-2497. But she couldn’t go back now. It was physically impossible. She watched everything she knew and loved glitch out of existence while she just ran through her portal. Instead of dying a noble death alongside her people, she just ran away. Like a coward. Now she was being chased for it. That was another reason she needed her watch fixed.
Their appearances were becoming more and more frequent. People who looked just like her. She could sense her connection to them. One of them, a woman riding a motorcycle and big yellow sunglasses, said that she was. Lorena had experienced similar things to the others. Like the death of her tio. And then the death of her boyfriend. Her struggles were the same as theirs. But she wasn’t supposed to be here anymore. She explained that Lorena “broke the canon”, whatever that meant.
A man with multiple mechanical arms, almost like an octopus, had come through an orange portal and began wreaking havoc on New York City. Lorena had stopped him, but too early apparently, according to the woman. The man was supposed to kill Captain Stacy, the father of her best friend. But since he hadn’t been killed, she had accidentally ripped a hole in the space time continuum, or something, consuming and ripping apart her entire universe. She was supposed to die with it. But she hadn’t. She ran away. Now she was considered an anomaly. The woman described that most anomalies were sent back to their worlds after they were captured. But Lorena had no world to go back to.
“So what’ll you do to me then?” Lorena asked the woman.
“.....I’m not sure.”
That was enough to convince Lorena to start running. The different Spider-Men would pop up about every week or so. But the gap had been closed to around every day now. She had gotten a break this past week while her watch was broken, what she assumed to be some kind of break from the universe or something. But she knew it was only a matter of time until they found her again. Until he found her again.
Lorena had only been chased by him twice before. But both of those times, she had only escaped by a narrow margin. He looked significantly different from the other variants, sporting a mainly blue suit with a weird red symbol in the middle that warped around to his back. He was tall also. Really tall, with huge, broad shoulders. Lorena couldn’t help but wonder what he looked like under his mask, having not seen his face before. But no matter how much she would probably ask him out if they met under different circumstances, Lorena was terrified of him. She had left both chase sequences with him with enormous gashes on her from his sharp talons. She honestly wondered if he was actually human.
She was brought back to reality when she saw Armando walking back from the table. In his hand was a metal rod, the end of it a scorching orange. Lorena scrambled around in her seat, her head still yanked back. Fuck this is bad, she thought to herself. An idea suddenly snapped into her head.
She rarely used them, as they normally ended up harming her too in the end, but she would rather be burned by her own acid webs once than by this hot plate repeatedly. She repositioned her wrists, pointing one of them out. She braced for the pain. Suddenly, four strings of a radioactive green acid web shot out of her wrist, breaking the rope around her hands and wrapping around the thigh of the man holding back her head. He screamed out in pain as the acid melted through his leg. With him and Armando distracted, Lorena quickly broke out of her ankle restraints, ripped the hot branding stick out of Armando’s hands, and pushed it deep into his face. He let out an inhuman scream and quickly passed out from the pain. She then used the stick and smacked the metal against his partner’s head, knocking him out too.
Lorena stood to catch her breath for a second, bracing her side with her right arm from the pain in her ribs. She hoped they were just bruised, and not cracked. She then took off the gloves from her suit to examine the fresh acid burns on her left wrist. She had developed a bit of resistance from the pain, having had to use them so much recently since she’s been without web fluid for months now, but it still stung a bit and left quite a mark on her skin.
She stripped Armando of his long sleeve t-shirt and sweatpants to cover up her suit, and shoved her mask into the pockets of the pants, before walking outside the door into the night.
She was almost immediately soaked to the touch as the rain poured down on the city. The large t-shirt, absorbing all the water falling onto Lorena, only put extra weight onto her damaged ribs. She struggled to walk through the street as she continued to cough blood into her hand. Fuck, this was bad. Maybe her injury was worse than she thought.
Things only got worse when she suddenly felt her heartbeat speed up. Goosebumps flooded over her body and she was nearly paralyzed from fear. Her spider-sense was kicking in. Jesus, what is it now. She looked into the alleyway next to her to see if that's where the source of her fear was coming from. Her suspicions were confirmed correct when she saw an orange glow interrupt the darkness in the back of the alley, and a red spike ripping through it. She nearly left her heart behind as she immediately started to bolt down the sidewalk.
Great, just my fucking luck, she thought to herself as she ran. The one day I’m in horrible shape to fight is the one day he shows up to get me. Lorena didn’t need to look behind her to know the man was already bounding after her. She didn’t have any web fluid, and her acid webs would cut through the poles, so she was given the disadvantage on the ground this time. She threw her mask on her face from her pocket, that way so in case she did get caught, she could at least keep the dignity of her identity to herself. Her running was desperate and sloppy, her red hair slipping out from the back of her mask and almost slipping in a puddle when she turned a sharp corner.
She could feel her heart rising into her chest and her ribs cried out to her in pain, begging her to just stop and accept her fate. But she wouldn’t go down like this. She couldn’t. She needed to keep going, no matter how much blood she was coughing up while running. She could hear his feet splashing in the puddles behind her as she made her getaway. He was getting closer. She wasn’t fast enough. She needed to do something if she wasn’t going to get caught. And fast.
Desperate for a way out, she ripped her right glove off of her hand and jumped around to shoot an acid web at her chaser. The split second she could see him while turned around frightened her beyond belief. The man was chasing her on all fours, like some kind of wild dog. His claws dug deep into the concrete floor for extra traction from the rain. Yeah, there’s no way this guy was human. She shot the web out of her wrist, burning her more than usual, and aimed for his face. If she was going to shoot for him now, she needed to try to go for the kill. Before the web was even fully out of her hand, she was back facing forward and running. Fuck, did that mess up my aim? She didn’t have time to think about that now. She didn’t even look back to check. She just kept running.
The low scream from him at least meant that she hit him, which was enough for her right now. Her high came crashing down though when she turned another corner. Suddenly, a shattering agony rattled throughout her body as she became a jumble of neon colored parallelograms, all of her atoms splitting apart in a split second. She quickly fell to the floor, shaking in pain. But she still had to fight. Lorena used her arms to crawl into an alleyway into the darkness. If she couldn’t outrun him, she could at least try to hide. She lowered her head to the ground though when she heard puddles lightly splashing behind her. Footsteps. She didn’t hit him hard enough. It was all in vain.
She could hear his pants above her, as she turned her head around to see him standing right above her body, like he was admiring his achievement or something. She still tried to crawl away though. She didn’t matter if it made her look stupid. She still had to try.
Lorena stopped though when she felt him web her hand to the ground though, too tired to keep going. The bright red, glowing web illuminated the darkness of the alley. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him reaching his massive hand down to her. He roughly ripped her mask off her face, exposing her to the outside world. She began to cough again, so much this time, that she ended up losing her limited breakfast. The puke sits next to the man's feet, more blood than partially digested food. He stared at her in disgust. Then he finally speaks. The first time he has to her ever.
“This is the one who’s been causing us so much trouble?” he said, as if it was supposed to be more of a genuine question than an insult. His voice was beautiful. A rich, low, dark tone that rolled off of his tongue smoothly. She could see a small avatar pop up next to his shoulder, illuminated in a yellow aura. “Yup, this is her. Lorena Reyes, Spider-Woman from Earth-2497,” the woman avatar responded. “Huh,” he said, crouching down next to her head. “Thought she'd put up more of a fight.” That one was an insult. “Maybe you just caught me on a bad day,” she croaked out. He looked at the puke next to her. “I can see that.” Lorena started to glitch again, letting out sparse pants once her atoms stopped separately. The man sighed. “Let's just get this over with.”
What he did next took Lorena by surprise. He flung his strong leg over to the opposite side of her body and lifted his mask up to just over his nose, still concealing his eyes from her view. Lorena stared at him confused, too tired and in pain to do anything right now. What she could see from his face was gorgeous. His perfect nose, the slight pout in his plump lips, and his rich skin tone. He placed his hands on her head, one holding the nape of her neck, and the other pushing her head back.
Then they came out. His fangs. A slight fear washed over her body when she saw them. Was this vampire man about to kill her? Then he sunk them into the skin of her neck. She flinched slightly. What on earth was he doing? More fear entered her when she found she was quickly losing feeling in her feet. It slowly moved up her body. Then her legs. Then her hands. Then her arms. Her nerves being attacked by some kind of paralytic venom. It was most likely coming from his fangs. She felt slightly lucky that she still had feeling in her neck though, especially when he removed his fangs from her neck, and used his textured tongue to clean up the blood. It was warm and comforting to her. Then her neck lost its feeling. Lorena was quickly grateful for the venom when she found herself glitching again, but not feeling any pain from it.
She could feel herself passing out next. As consciousness left her body, the last thing she saw was the man lifting up from her neck and wiping her blood off from his mouth.
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NEXT CHAPTER
a/n: thanks for making it this far!!! lmk if you want to be on the tag list for future parts
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earlgreytea68 · 4 months
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Many years ago now, when I was a very unhappy and depressed lawyer, I went to see a therapist. The therapist diagnosed that I was suffering from severe levels of stress and asked me to keep a "stress journal": for the week between appointments, I was to write down whenever I felt my stress spike.
When I returned to the next appointment with my stress journal, the therapist was shocked I'd actually done the assignment. He said nobody actually keeps a physical journal. I suspected that maybe he didn't fully understand my personality type and the fact that some of my stress was the result of PEOPLE ASKING ME TO DO THINGS THEY APPARENTLY DIDN'T ACTUALLY WANT ME TO DO BUT I WAS RESPONSIBLY DOING THEM BECAUSE THAT'S HOW I AM.
Anyway, I digress, that's not the point of the story. The point was that when we looked together at my stress journal, we diagnosed that a recurrent source of spiking stress was receiving an email. This was so many years ago that it was before the smartphone, in the age of the BlackBerry, and every time my stupid BlackBerry vibrated, my stress skyrocketed. Having figured that out, the therapist was like, "What happens if you miss an email for an hour?" And that was hard to articulate. Probably nothing, tbh. Like, realistically I could go without checking my email if I was too busy with work, so why couldn't I when I was home watching TV? So the therapist suggested I confine my email checking to a set schedule. Only at the appointed times would I check my email and deal with whatever had come in.
And you know what? The world never ended, and it WAS a huge relief not to feel like I had to immediately be available for every email. To this day, my work email does NOT come to my phone and I only check it at my appointed times of day. (Actually, I resisted getting a smartphone until very late because after I left the law firm I thought the most glorious thing in the world was PEOPLE COULDN'T REACH ME.)
Anyway, I was thinking about all that today because I had a bad day at work and I realized that I was dreading checking my email and it just made me think that I have lingering issues around email. But then, the more I thought about it, the more I was like, ...no, I probably have lingering issues around WORK because of that job experience I had. Like, was it really about what emails I might have, or was it because I spent the day feeling manipulated in an unpleasant way that made me wary and suspicious of certain things around me, and then THAT made me think, like, I was overreacting because of the way that previous job experience was and the fact that the way it manipulated and abused me will never actually fully leave me, but THEN I was like, OR is it that I honed excellent instincts for that kind of situation happening and I should listen to myself when I feel that way, or or or--
Which is all to say that I wonder sometimes how I would have developed as a professional had I not had that career experience so early on in my life. But then I am in a weird way grateful for it, not because it forever kind of messed up my head in some ways but because I learned SO MUCH about those messed-up situations. Like, it was awful, don't get me wrong, but I did learn a bunch of coping mechanisms I still use today. Like limiting my email exposure. And I think I am warier than a lot of other people I know who didn't go through a workplace that mentally abused you the way that mine did, but I'm not so sure that's a terrible thing. I think it makes me touchy about work-life boundaries and i think there are way worse things to be in our capitalist society.
And also, every once in a while I think about the fact that I didn't think I was going to make it through those years but I did and I am pretty proud of myself for that, so also that. I made it through the other side when I honestly for real didn't think that I would, and every once in a while I have a day that reminds me of how I felt all the time back then, and it makes me remember to be grateful how many days I've gotten to have without that feeling.
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