#i'm also posting all things i couldn't yesterday because i was traveling

[khaopybara]

❝Of course. That's why I didn't let anyone eat them. I planned to eat them myself. The ones Ms. Joy ate were probably Prang's.❞

❝He's my friend. His name is Taohu. He's been my best friend since secondary school.❞

OFF JUMPOL as JANE and GUN ATTHAPHAN as RYAN ANAWAT episode 6 and 8 of THE TRAINEE

[lovedrruunk]

'Mango Letters ♡⸝⸝💌⊹˖➴

Venture (Overwatch) x GN Reader

[Established Relationship!]

Authors note!!!; DID U MISS MEEE??? also...IM SO SORRYYY!!!! BUT I THINK IM JUST GONNA START WRITING WHAT I WANT :((( i realized im sososo bad with requests like genuinely ughhhh!! Ill def do some every now and then tho! Anyways im just clearing out my drafts cuz I’ve come to the realization that this is literally tumblr and my posts don’t have to be perfect lmao, enjoy!!

75 days 18 hours 46 minutes and 3 seconds. That's how long it had been since you've seen your partner Sloan. Being with them you knew how devoted they were to their work and how much it required them to travel but on pretty days like this one when the weathers just right and the flowers are in full bloom and the sunset is the perfect hue of orange, you couldn't help but wish they were by your side.

And although they were thousands of miles away they always made sure to send you physical manifestations of their love.

Through love letters of course!!!

It had been a tradition ever since they had started going on longer expeditions for them to send you things in the mail. So there in your shared closet in a cute little shoebox on the top shelf, laid all their feelings on coffee stained papers. Little crystals the same color as your eyes, maps with all the places they wanted to take you, polaroids of them doing silly faces, and your favorite part, the sweet scent of mango that came with it all.

And so although they weren't by your side, their feelings were. Their longing, their excitement, their thoughts, all in the palm of your hands covered in all types stickers and doodles.

Sitting outside on the porch of your shared home enjoying the calm breeze you smile holding the most recent letter delivered. Inhaling deeply catching the hints of mango as you carefully open it.

Dear Beloved,

It's been so looong!!! I can feel myself aging without you! Hope this letter finds you well! Notice how I used "beloved"? Fancy huh? Arn't I just the most romantic partner ever? (don't answer that.) This is my fifth time trying to write this and it's annoying the crew so this is my last chance before they jump me... It's just so hard y'know!? It has to be perfect. Perfect for you. Is that cringe? That was cringe sorry! I miss you lots and I think about you all the time... You'd love Petra! A camel ate my shemagh... but It's whatever. I'll buy a new one tomorrow, I'll get one for you too so don't worry! Now that I'm thinking about it the days seem to be going by pretty slow and I'm not sure if I like it much. Like I said I miss you a lot and it stinks being away from you for this long. Can't you just book a flight over here? Can't you do that for me pretty pleaseee? That's ridiculous? Okay just say you hate me and never want me to come back, just say you don't love me at all and want me to get stuck in a cave foreva. Just kidding! or am I?... (I am! >ᴗ<)

I like to imagine you’re missing me really bad counting down the seconds till I get back, which by the way I am too so don’t feel the need to deny it! I can see it now… You all shriveled up like a raisin crawling on the floor going “sloannn… sloannnn…” because of how bad you miss me hehe. Just kidding again! It’s probably the opposite let’s be real… I’m going insane without you seriously, I started talking to the hieroglyphics yesterday and the crew even caught me tasting some rocks earlier (sos!!!!)

But speaking of, they’re rushing me to “turn the lights off already” what a bunch of buzzkills ammarite? Promise to show up in my dreams okay? Who am I kidding, you’re always there regardless. Sweet dreams ᥫ᭡ᥫ᭡

p.s they really wanna meet you!

p.p.s take care okay? I’ll be home before you know it!!!

Yours truly,

(so romantic!!!)

“(๑´>᎑<)~*”

[oolhan]

Too Many Beds (Part 3)

wow, okay so I had been inactive for awhile (by inactive, I mean just scrolling through and reblogging all sort of everlark stuff). But surprise! We're now on part 3 of this reversed-trope au. Another surprise: I'm adding another chapter because I couldn't wait too long to share the first part of part 3. You can read part 1 and part 2. Without further ado, first scene of part 3:

Travel journals that have to-do lists prior to the travel itself tends to be on the idealistic side, like cruising for 7 days in a Mediterranean island or bumping into a famous celebrity. Katniss knows this for sure, so when she made a bucket list to check off for their European trip, she notes the most mundane things she wants to do. Realistic things that can easily be checked off.

Wishing longevity in front of Sagrada Familia (With Peeta)

See a street flamenco dance (With Peeta)

Collect post cards and stamps (Send to Prim’s apt)

She wrote the list with Peeta two days before they depart for Madrid, and looking at her journal now, she’s pissed off how every to-do had ‘with Peeta’ beside it. She’s also pissed off at how she can’t enjoy tasting an authentic Italian pizza in front of her because written on her journal is: True Italian pizza with Peeta.

And she’s barely eating it with Peeta.

He’s sat at the right end of the long table conversing with Madge across him while she’s beside Johanna on the left end, not obviously far from him.

Finnick and Annie decided to have a small dinner party at a fancier restaurant near the bridge where they were engaged and though Katniss can barely keep it together, she knows she must appear happy and excited and tries very hard not to give away a signature scowl. After almost ruining Peeta’s moment in capturing the proposal photo, she decided not to talk to him for the night and tag along with the others.

She glued herself to Johanna to signal him she doesn’t want to talk about it. For now.

So Peeta talks with Madge.

The pizza is really good, actually. It’s worth the price and all, yet it feels sand on her tongue as she thinks about the loaded question he shot her with before Finnick knelt on one knee.

Is it really about them sleeping? Is that why she feels miserable since yesterday? But they just slept together again last night, so…

She thinks it is the sleeping, but she can never admit that.

But why can’t she just admit it?

She lets an exasperated sigh and downs her beer even though she prefers champagne right now, or maybe something with vodka. She just doesn’t like to upset the accommodating old local waiter who insists on serving the pizza with beer.

“Okay brainless, after dinner you really have to spit it out,” Jo whispers beside her after calling for another beer.

“Spit what out?”

“I heard you arguing with Peeta a while ago and you suddenly made me your favorite person in the world to cling to. I bet Gale’s ass cheeks it’s something to do with Madge,” Jo’s smirk is taunting, and Katniss starts to cringe at how someone actually overheard them.

Not like they’re yelling.

“Well, we sorta bet. I bet 20 it’s something about you two sleeping,” Gale interrupts, leaning over Johanna’s shoulder and swinging a glass.

“You’re ridiculous. I don’t want to talk about this right now,” She thanks the waiter and quickly downs her second bottle for the night. She really wants something stronger than shitty Italian beer. She’s in Italy for god’s sake, why isn’t she devouring wine right now?

“Okay, just tell me if it’s Frenchie or cuddling,”

“you’re both sick.” Katniss spat.

They suddenly turned their heads as Finnick clears his throat and gather everyone’s attention. He was at the head of the table, left hand clinging to Annie’s.

“So, uh,” he turns to Annie for confirmation. “So, you whole lot luck out, I guess. We-uhm, wow, okay I’ll leave it to Annie.” He chuckles nervously.

Annie laughs, “Well, since most of our best friends are present here at this very table, Finnick and I decided to have an intimate wedding in Greece.”

There are surprise gasps and girly shrieks. Congratulations and questions thrown. Despite Katniss’ mood, she smiles at her friends’ sudden news.

“Since we’re in this trip together and Greece is our next stop, then why not make it official in front of you guys?” Finnick’s smile will tear his face in half.

“Yes, and gramma Mags also lives in Lindos right now, so we’re sending her a message to prepare,” Annie confirms, nodding to Finnick and the rest of the group.

Delly and Madge can’t contain their excitement and babble on about wedding matters of what to wear and what colors match the Greek Isles and what food to eat.

“Oh! Oh! Let’s go shopping for dresses before we leave,”

“Cinna has a designer friend here in Venice, I think—”

“Ladies! I think we should all toast first before diving into details,” Johanna stands up, beer in hand ready for toasting.

“To Finnick and Annie, may you always pleasure yourselves quietly through all your nights, because I’m one more Annie’s moan away from putting a gun in my mouth,” Johanna teases and gets exasperated sighs from everybody. Katniss tried not to snort.

“Jesus, Jo,” Finnick chuckles through.

“She’s not allowed to toast at our wedding,” Annie playfully spats.

Gale stands helping Jo out. “What she meant to say was, to Finnick and Annie, whose knots are tied even before time began and lives crossed. We all knew this day would come, so just be in love forever and,” Gale can’t help it and glances at Katniss, whom he knows every scowl by heart. He knows what’s been going on.  “Here’s to a lifetime of open hearts and honest confessions! Cheers!”

Katniss gulps from the implication and glares at them both.

“Hear, hear,” says Thom, the sound of clinking glasses resonates merrily through the table.

“To honest confessions,” she hears Peeta repeats at the end of his table which made her slide her eyes to him, only to find he’s staring right through her.

She pulls her eyes away from the tension and downs her beer.

Still shitty.

anddd read the rest of it here on ao3. See you for part 4😉

[canirove]

My neighbour Rúben | Chapter 4

Author's note: On this chapter there are some things that give away that this story was written a long time ago, like the fact that it says that he is City's captain... Or that he dresses well 😅 P.S. I'm joking, please no one get mad at me 😭

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"Did you sleep well, darling? You look tired" grandma asked me the morning after the game.

"It probably was all the excitement from yesterday. She was still buzzing like young people say" grandad laughed.

"I think it was a mix of not being on my own bed and getting out of my comfort zone. I'm not used to it." 

Which was a lie. Mostly. I did miss my own bed, the one at my grandparents' house had the worst pillow ever. But if I looked dead and tired, it was because I had stayed up until 2 am reading about Rúben, watching his videos and looking at his photos.

Some would call it stalking. I call it doing research.

I read about his career, watched proper interviews and other videos where he was being silly, finding myself smiling like the idiot I am. I even watched some in Portuguese, the fact that I speak Spanish being very helpful to understand what he was saying. Or at least half of it.

I spent an hour just on his Instagram account, looking at everything he had posted, and especially the posts where he was topless. Like... He couldn't be real. He couldn't have a body like that, it had to be Photoshop. And it wasn't just the abs and the biceps. It also was his back. His legs. Everything. And judging by the photos where he was wearing clothes and the couple of times I had met him, he also knew how to dress and make the most out of that perfect body of his, which was unfair for the rest of the human population, both male and female.

I also spent a lot of time reading fanfic about him. There are so many talented people out there! And horny, which made me feel less alone. Because my dreams... Well. They were similar to the ones I had been having since meeting him for the first time, but now I knew what was under his clothes, and they weren't happening just on the lift or Lucy's house. Now that I knew that he was a freaking professional football player, there were so many new scenarios to explore... And I explored a few last night, like the changing room at the Emirates.

"Darling, are you sure you are alright? Should I take you to the doctor?" grandad said, bringing me back to reality. 

"To the doctor? Why?" 

"You look... I don't know. Off. And look at your cheeks."

"My cheeks?" I said, touching them. They were feeling very warm.

"Let me take your temperature" grandma said. "I don't want you traveling alone back to Manchester with a fever."

Oh, if only she knew. 

I wasn't traveling back to Manchester with a fever. I was actually traveling back to Manchester to meet the cause of my fever. And just the thought of it was making my stomach do funny things, not sure if good or bad ones. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Oh, c'mon!" I said when the shopping bag slipped from my hand as I reached to call for the lift, all its contents slipping on the floor.

"Let me help you with that" a male voice said behind me. No. Not just a male voice. The male voice. Rúben. 

"You don't need to, I can manage."

"And I want to help" he said, already picking some things from the floor. "Doesn't Lucy have someone to do the shopping for her?"

"Yes, but that's the weekly shopping. This is different."

"I can tell. I don't see Lucy letting Julia eat so much chocolate and sweets" he chuckled.

"Tonight we are having a movie night, that's why I bought all this. I'm not planning on feeding her just sugar for the whole weekend, I'm not crazy."

"Good to know" Rúben smiled. "What movie are you watching?" he asked while calling for the lift, the shopping bag on his hand.

"Not sure yet. Something from Disney I guess."

"What's your favourite Disney movie?"

"What?" 

"Mine is "Aladdin". Love the songs" he said, walking into the lift once the doors had opened. 

"I'm not sure about mine" I said, following him. "As a child I loved watching the "Swan Princess", but that isn't Disney."

"I think I've never heard of it before. Is it cartoons?"

"Yep. It is about a princess who is under a spell that turns her into a swan during the day, and at night she goes back into her human self but only if she is on a certain lake and when the moon is shining."

"Do they sing?"

"Oh, yes, they do. They have great songs."

"I'll have to check it out."

"What?" I laughed.

"Don't tell anyone, but I love watching kids' movies." 

"Worried your teammates may bully you?" I chuckled as the lift's doors opened at our floor.

"Nah, they already know. By the way, the Emirates was the last place where I expected to see you" Rúben said, walking towards my door.

"Same."

"Lucy hadn't told you?"

"We've never talked about you." Which is true. But mainly because I knew my face would give away that I am very attracted to Rúben. Like, a lot.

"Now that you know... What do you think about it?"

"I don't know" I said, opening the apartment’s door. "It's just a job. A special one, but a job."

"Your opinion about me hasn't changed then?" he asked, following me inside and into the kitchen.

"Why would I change my mind?"

"You know what they say about football players. Just a bunch of idiots that kick a ball, who earn way too much money, who just party and cheat on their wives... Those things."

"I don't know enough about you to judge."

"Then we must do something about that" he said, leaving the shopping bag on the table. "Do you think Julia would mind if I joined you on your movie night?"

"I'm sorry, you want what?"

"It'll be a way to get to know each other a bit better. And I don't have plans tonight, so watching a Disney movie in good company sounds great."

I don't know what happened after that, what I said or did. Probably that yes, that he could come, because I remembered his smile and a "see you tonight." But my brain was stuck on his previous two last sentences.

For some reason, he wanted to get to know me better. Me. And I apparently was good company? He could have said it just about Julia, he clearly adored her. But he wasn't talking about her. We weren't talking about her. So... It was about me, right? I was good company. Did that mean that he was flirting with me? Rúben Dias, Manchester City captain and international player with Portugal, was flirting with me? The piano teacher turned into nanny?

It had been years since a guy had tried to flirt with me, I was very rusty. So maybe he was just being nice and I understood everything wrong. Or maybe not.

Whatever it was, I would be finding out in just a few hours... 

[hispieceofcake]

MY FRIEND LITERALLY FOUND THE REAL LIFE ADAM FROM HAZBIN HOTEL ON THE PLANE SHE WAS ON

Guys, I was here, okay, then I received a message from my friend, because she arrived from a trip a while ago, she had traveled to Spain with her parents and she was returning home yesterday. So far, so good, I'm very happy because she's coming back, I'll be able to see her because I was missing her and so on, everything's fine, then she sent me an audio message in my group of friends on whatsapp, And the audio was simply the following: she was taking a flight because she had to take a flight from Spain to São Paulo and then return to our state because we are from Espírito Santo in Brazil (Yes, it's the name of our state, Espírito Santo), And on this plane that she was taking from Spain to São Paulo she simply saw a man looking exactly the same to Adam from Hazbin Hotel, looking exactly the same.

Guys, when I heard this I was freaking out, I was literally freaking out 😫, She had literally met the man of my dreams on the plane she was flying home on, man that was so wow. She literally described him to me, she described him perfectly to me and man, everything matched, appearance, even the way the man dressed was exactly the same, and she said that she just didn't take a photo of him for me because he was sitting exactly next to her and it would also be kind of wrong, right, for us to take photos of people we don't know and about that.

But man, I wanted so much to be on that plane, wow, I would lose my shyness right away and start a conversation with him like, I'm an incredibly shy person, like for those who know me outside of social media, but man, I was going to lose all my shyness and I was going to try to make friends with him, I was going to try to start a conversation with him, even maybe get his number, but man, that was something that will never happen again, I hope that someday I see this guy like it could be really impossible but I hope because man, I needed to see it with my eyes, it's impossible for her having found the perfect copy donated just a flight home, like man this is something that happens every one and a billion you know.

Like imagine, you're just coming home from a trip and then you look to the side and you literally see the guy exactly like the character your friend is obsessed with. And then you go and send her an audio describing the whole guy and then, like, everything matches, the entire appearance matches, even the guy's appearance matches, like, you know

At this moment I'm so freaking out, so happy, so excited, also disappointed that I couldn't see the guy with my own eyes, that to write this post I'm practically using a voice recorder together with a translator like i'm talking and the translator is translating post, like dude I'm literally jumping in the middle of my living room while I'm recording this like dude I'm really freaking out, Man I'm even going to put Adam's song Hell is Forever to play here now, because bro that's an incredible thing at least for me that was incredible.

And I'm sorry for the people who are seeing this post now, I could have posted this incredibly out of nowhere, causing such a freak out. But lately I've been kind of missing from here because I'm going through some things, some things run in the family, some things are psychological and also because I finally bought a digital pen so I can draw better and also because recently the news came out that about the Beetlejuice sequence film here in my city and it's kind of coming out on September 6th and I'm going to go to the cinema to watch it and after I watch the film I'm going to do an analysis, a really big analysis and Will POST.

Well to finish this here I just really wanted to tell you about what my friend told me and the bread excited and freaked out I was over it because I really wanted to tell you guys this.

And man, I really hope someday I meet this man, I need to see him with my eyes, I really do it will become one of my life goals now.

[mysticsparklewings]

Obscutober 2024 Day 4: Apricate ☀️

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Apricate (v.)

to bask in the sun; to expose to sunlight

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Hope you’re all feeling as good as a cat sleeping in the window on this 4th day of Inktober 😉

I’m not really because it’s a traveling day & those wear me out, but hey could be worse! 🤷‍♀️

Click the "Keep Reading" and we'll talk more about my thoughts/process for this piece ✨

(Apologizes in advance for any formatting issues; I wasn’t able to draft the Tumblr post before we got on the road and I am so not used to doing this on mobile. 😅)

⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

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I apologize for the lack of my normal description today, Sparklers. As I mentioned yesterday, I've got on my plate today and I just don't have the time to get into the details right now! I'll see if I can come back in the evening and flesh things out more, but for now I'll leave you with just some bullet point thoughts:

My primary inspiration was kitty cats basking in "puddles" of sunshine they find on the floor, or sitting in sunny windows, etc. Hence the cat-window-silhouette thing happen as sort of the main focus of the mandala.

I also thought of sunflowers, and coincidentally sunflowers are non-toxic to cats, so it would be acceptable for a kitty to sit in a patch of sunflowers while both flowers and feline face the sun.

More obscurely, to help fill space and add contrast, I thought of these things.

I tried to go for a little bit of an effect with the background like the sun is actually shining through the windows, but I'm not sure I pulled it off correctly.

I was 95% done with this piece when I realize it looked much more washed out on screens that were not my iPad, so I had to back track a bit and try to fix it. Now I think it looks too dark with how low I keep the brightness on a lot of my device screens, but I think a lot of people keep their screens brighter than I do by default (at least during the day) so I'm sticking with it.

I'm still not really happy with the "red" for the curtains. I was going for a kind of desaturated dark coral, but it kept coming out either too pink or too dark. Ultimately I settled for too dark because it went better with the sun-through-windows idea, where the curtains would be more shadowed anyway.

White might have been the more natural choice for the lines, but then you probably couldn't see the cat silhouette and I could not be bothered going back and changing it to outlines. [And it looked kinda weird as outlines when I first started drawing it, which is largely why I ended up filling it in the first place.

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See the Prompt List

Artwork © me, MysticSparklewings

Obscutober Concept Inspired by nikolas_tower

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⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

[shearlin]

Word count: 2678

Chapter 7: Time

First || << Previous || Next >>

Happy International Women's Day that was yesterday! As a gift, have a cameo!

Fun fact! I noticed that on average I'm adding 1k words to my "final" drafts when I search for typos and errors before posting. Good thing I put an uploading schedule for myself in place or I would ended up in the editing limbo.

(I also discovered I cannot write accents for the life of me. There was an attempt, but I had to scrap it because I just couldn't do it justice. The accents live in my head and in my heart.)

Enjoy! :D

Another day, another fight, another close call. This time it was… well, Time.

They were on their way to Lon Lon Ranch, landing in old man’s Hyrule only a day's walk away from it. Their spirits were high, the sunbeams bright and the monsters stupid enough to think they didn’t notice them hiding in sparse shrubbery on the side of the road.

The fight didn’t look like anything special. They were so used to working together by that point, it felt more like a choreographed dance routine than a real battle. Legend twirled the ice rod in his hand, wielding his sword in the other, freezing and shattering any monster coming too close, while being covered by Sky with the Master Sword and a whip. Hyrule was dancing around the Darknut with ease giving Wind and Four an easy shot at his back, the two of them making quick work of its armour. Wild was giving them all multiple heart attacks by letting a giant moblin stab the air inches from his face, only to kill it in a rapid fire of blows in a blink of an eye. He would later claim he was ‘training his magic abilities’ and acting all innocent, the madman. Twilight was going after archers, covering the distance between him and them in a blink of an eye as a wolf, coming out of the shift with his sword already swinging. Warriors was taking care of the supposed leader of the pack, separating it from the rest and not letting it bark out any orders or call retreat.

And Time was dealing with a pair of black lizalfos from Sky’s era.

Legend didn’t see how it happened, not that it mattered, only heard the old man coming down with a yell of pain as the spiked metal ball connected with his left knee and rendering him vulnerable and unable to fight.

Twilight and Wars were to his side in an instant, covering him while Time tried to do his best to not move so as to not upset the crushed joint any further. Sky went absolutely ballistic on the monsters he and Legend were dealing with, allowing the veteran to provide additional aid to the old man's defence with his ice rod, allowing Wars to start on the first aid.

They might have been overeager in making sure Time was okay, but to be fair, they were just a few hours away from Malon. They were not going to bring to her doorstep her husband all broken and beaten up.

They defeated the monsters quickly after that, powered by their righteous fury. A fairy that was travelling with them for the past few hours, straight up phased through the glass of her bottle as soon as the last monster fell, so she could heal his leg, despite old man's insistence he would be fine with a red potion, since they were going to the ranch to rest anyway. She had none of that, healing him in a tirade of bells and chimes and then zipped ahead to have her fill of sugar water as a reward.

Legend might not be able to speak with the pink fairies, but by the way Time chuckled as she offered her farewells, he was convinced that that particular one had enough excitement for her life .

Once the injury was mended and Time led them back on the road, the good mood from earlier returned to their group and they started joking around again. Just their local old man being too slow with his reflexes and not being able to keep up with them younglings.

But Legend couldn’t help but feel the uneasiness prickle under his skin once more, as he fell to the back of the group, brushing off Sky’s questioning look and Hyrule’s attempts at conversation. They got the hint easily enough and he was left alone with his thoughts.

The ‘old man’ jokes were all in good fun. The old man himself was often pointing out with humour, how he can’t possibly rival their vigour during training sessions or with the long days of trekking across the lands of Hyrule, no matter his ability to move with deceptive ease and speed when he really wanted to.

And it wasn’t like those jokes were unfounded. He was the oldest. If anyone, Legend would know how years of heroing can weigh on one’s body. Time might have only two (three?) official quests under his belt, but he did spend his teenage and young adult years hunting monsters, clearing and cleansing dangerous cursed places and doing all sorts of work for the crown as the Hero of Time. He might have found peace and tranquillity in the life on the ranch with Malon once he officially “retired” that title, but it didn’t erase years of injuries, scarred tissues or impaired-or-possibly-lack-of vision in his right eye. The entire chain could attest that it would be weird if that life didn’t leave any strain on his body.

Occasional injuries caused by slower reflexes or lingering stiffness was to be expected.

Logically, Legend knew that. But it was happening too often.

Well, not really, it was happening too often for his taste.

Read the rest on Ao3!

[twig-tea]

Be My Favorite Ep 11 First Thoughts

Okay, I took a lunch break at work to get this out, watched the episode and am writing this down now, before I read what everyone else thought later: I really, really liked this episode. Once again this show manages to never lie to us in the trailer and yet still take us by surprise in terms of how things play out in the episode. I have to say, I was really tickled by the fact that a time travel show faked out time travel in the episode preview by showing us clips from a time skip (but then still gave us time travel because it never lies)!

We got more from Kawi and Pisaeng's first time, first at the beginning of the episode where we saw more of their intimacy and all of the careful checking and non-verbal consent taking place after the verbal consent [btw Krist did a decent job of telegraphing comfort and intimacy here, I appreciated the arms around Pisaeng's neck] and a little more at the end, where we get more of the amusement park date and it shows us that Kawi wasn't lying when he said he had a good time. With that additional context I no longer needed a conversation, there was enough happening to be on the same page around Kawi's fears about intimacy and how he and Pisaeng moved past them together. I still think Kawi could be on the ace/demi spectrum and I feel for everyone who was hoping for explicit representation and didn't get it from this show 💕 You're visible and you're valid, friends!

Pear reading the poem over the montage was lovely and I really enjoyed that as a way of showing everyone reaching a new point in their different journeys at the same time (love that everyone gets to grow in this show except for Not, which is as it should be).

[Also just saying that this montage perfectly set up my clown theory for what the final post-credit scene will be for this show lol]

The flashback to the explanation about time travel was a bit oddly placed but I took him reflecting on it in this moment to be the closing chapter of Kawi's growth, that he finally fully understands the lesson that Time Travel Guy was trying to teach him and he's going to live in the moment from now on. This sets us up for the story pivot to Pisaeng as the protagonist later in the episode.

The relationship montage was so lovely! At first I was worried they were trying to show couples growing apart but it became clear that it was about finding a sustainable balance in a relationship. Love that Kawi gets a second set of covers and still cuddles with Pisaeng when they sleep, for example.

Kawi getting sick and having a flu turn life-threatening immediately had me thinking immediately about COVID and I have a lot of complicated feelings about the show not naming COVID.

The scene with the doctor was absolutely shattering, "are you his family?" ...and the pause where Pisaeng knew he couldn't say yes even though that's the true answer. Fuck every government that does not legally recognize our importance to one another. This is even more devastating with Kawi who literally has nobody else.

Pisaeng going back in time makes perfect sense considering his guilt and his desperation. What I really love about the switch between Kawi as main character and Pisaeng as the main character is that Pisaeng is getting an arc. It's so interesting that he's taking the chance now that he knows what he has to lose, rather than before when Time Travel guy offered to help him and Pisaeng was confident he didn't need it. I'm wondering what the show thinks Pisaeng needs to learn; the chance to learn to live for himself rather than for Kawi? To be able to manage not being in control? Or is this less about a learning opportunity and just a chance to get to spend more time with the love of his life, along the lines of Eternal Yesterday?

I'm wondering about the timing of this event in the timeline: I think this was around the time Kawi travelled the first time, assuming Pear's marriage is taking place at the same time in the various timelines just to someone else in almost each one. So now I'm wondering whether Kawi got the chance to try again because he was about to die in the first timeline (since that seems to be something that can't be changed, along the lines of Kawi's dad).

If that's the case, then I would anticipate that Pisaeng being sent back in time is his opportunity to process his guilt, grief, and fears about Kawi 's death with Kawi, come to terms with the fact that he has to face his present, and then travel back to....I really hope find out that Kawi does not die. But I'm kind of getting the sense that he will. As Time Travel guy says, he's used up all his luck. And as Pear's dad said in ep10, there's no such thing as a perfect life because change happens, so you need to be able to be resilient to change.

[I don't think we'll get a Once Again ending because this show is all about living in the present and living a time loop just so that you can be together would be completely counter to that.]

What I want to happen is for Pisaeng to get strength from past-Kawi to face his present, have Kawi survive, and let them process together about living without regrets so they can face whatever comes without time travel. And maybe join Max in fighting for marriage equality.

[Also sidenote, I wonder whether Kawi being less ultra-famous in this timeline is a side effect of him being in an open and public relationship with Pisaeng? He's still clearly doing music work but their apartment doesn't have the same accoutrements from his career that the other timeline did. I may be reading too much into it though; it's also possible that he prioritized their relationship more than he did his relationship with Pear, or just didn't decorate the same way in this timeline, or a mix of these.]

Excited to read everyone's thoughts!

[edit: @waitmyturtles just saw your note! Tagging you here a bit late]

[dumplingsjinson]

I disappeared for a few days, because I needed time to process things. I'm feeling better now, and I'm sorry for not being too active. I'll be back to posting prompt lists soon, probably by the end of this week at the latest.

I also come back bearing happier and better news...

I have a date this Saturday with my man who's kinda not my man. (If you've followed my little adventures and mental breakdowns closely then you would probably know who it is 😇)

He suggested us going out this week (he was busy asf until yesterday) like, early last week, and I followed up yesterday night to see if he was still okay to go, and he basically told me "Yes, I made sure to not make plans with friends just for it" (image below because lmfao).

SO UH. HELLAAAUURRR??

The way I was LITERALLY jumping around in my room and squealing and blushing (no man's ever got me doing THAT, not even long distant dude, soooo), I'm so- I'm literally so fucking down bad for a guy who I didn't think I'd end up liking this much. It's actually so embarrassing.

Anyway, we're going to one of those self-service photobooths (I've been thinking of doing this since the third date ngl. I need pictures with him and this is a good excuse to get a few with him which I can keep in my back pocket) first thing, at my suggestion. And then we're going to his home, and hopefully I get to see his cat for real this time lmfaooo.

(He asked if I'm going to stay the night, and I teased him about it. I was like "Boi, you want really want me to stay, don't you?" and he says it's 'cause he's not sure if me travelling home or staying the night would be easier due to the distance between our homes, and then he's like "But also, yes, I do want you to stay. I like cuddles" sooooo. HA. But ultimately, I had to say I couldn't. Even though I really, really want to. Then again, I'm not sure if I'm ready for him to see my bed hair and messy face after waking up, but then again he kinda got a glimpse of that when we were cuddling during the third date lol; watched me fix my hair and fret about how I probably look like a mess and everything HAHA. One day, though. I was so damn close to folding last time so I might end up folding fr this time-)

SO YEAH. Um. I'm going through it. A lot is happening these days. And I'll be so fucking honest, I'm scared and really nervous. This is new territory for me, so like it's all very unfamiliar. And I'm just... Rolling along with it and hoping it doesn't end up breaking my heart. I've been thinking about it a lot and I'm just like... Well. What happens, happens.

But I'm also excited to see where things go. :))

[nerdywriter65]

You're Safe Here (Married!Klaine Fanfiction)

Hello! Scarlett here, I've been posting irregularly on ao3 for a couple months now, but figured I'd start cross-posting over here as well, so here's one of my favorite little Klaine fluff piece, I hope you all enjoy it!

Trigger warnings for g/ns, and p/nic att/cks

Blaine knew it was stupid.

He was twenty three. He'd been living in New York since he was nineteen. He was used to the sounds of the city.

He was pretty sure he'd never get over the sounds of gun shots.

Kurt was sound asleep next to him, snuggled up next to him, with an arm thrown lazily across his chest. Blaine wondered if Kurt could feel how fast Blaine's heart was racing. It was fine, he was fine. The gun senior year hadn't even been someone trying to shoot anyone, he knew that. Why were the sounds bothering him so much more tonight? It didn't make any sense.

A gust of wind blew through the apartment, and then he realized what it was. They'd left the window open, deciding to use the cool evening air to keep the room comfortable, opposed to the air conditioner. It had worked, both of them were comfortably wrapped in their comforter, proving that the room was cold enough, but the window being left open meant the sounds were all louder.

Blaine's breathing stopped when he heard another, unmistakable gun shot. Not only were there gun shots, but those shots meant someone died, and he couldn't do anything. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks, but instead of helping, all it did was make it easier for him to picture every terrible thing going on in the streets below them. Every image wasn't of being stuck in the choir room, knees pulled to his chest as he had the worst panic attacks of his life, back to back, without anyone there to help. No, every image he saw was finding Kurt, dead and bloodied, evidence of bullets across his beautiful skin. He remembered seeing Kurt in the hospital, all those years ago when he got beat up. He remembered getting the call like it was yesterday. Every time he got a call from an unknown number he felt like vomiting, because he feared it was someone telling him that his beautiful husband was dead.

Since all those years ago, they'd been married, and had moved to a supposedly safer part of New York, and he knew all the gunshots he heard weren't from outside their apartment. They could've been miles away, but especially at night the sound traveled easily. He knew that. But he also knew that it wasn't a terribly unlikely thing for Kurt to get shot on the way home.

He was going to be sick. Kurt had rolled over, no longer touching Blaine, so he carefully crawled out from under the covers, careful not to wake his husband. Kurt didn't need to deal with his trauma from when he was eighteen. As soon as he stood he realized throwing up wasn't a thought, but a reality. He stumbled to the bathroom, falling to his knees in front of the toilet as he threw up, tears streaming down his face. He couldn't breathe, his chest hurt. Everything hurt. Was this was a heart attack felt like? He couldn't breathe in between painful dry heaves, and that was just making him gag even more. Everything ached, he couldn't breathe, couldn't move, tears were streaming down his cheeks. He didn't know when he managed to stop throwing up, but the small victory that was barely made it to his awareness.

And then Kurt's beautiful voice cut through the blinding pain that was consuming him.

"Blaine?" he asked, his voice slightly rough from just waking up. Guilt washed over Blaine as it occurred to him that he'd woken his husband up. Kurt had an early day the next day, he didn't need Blaine getting in the way of his sleep.

"Sorry," Blaine choked out, trying to compose himself in some way, "sorry, I'm sorry,"

"Shhh," Kurt said in response, falling to his knees next to Blaine, and taking his hands in both of his, "are you going to throw up again?" he asked, and Blaine considered for a moment, but shook his head. He'd thrown up all he'd eaten that day, and the nausea was mostly gone.

"I need you to breathe, okay? I know it hurts, but you can breathe. If you breathe everything else will hurt less, okay?" and Blaine was so grateful for the man sitting next to him, his deep blue eyes so kind and loving as they looked into his. Blaine couldn't bring himself to reply as he took shaky breaths in and out, squeezing Kurt's hands as though his life depended on it.

"There you go, you're going to be okay. You're safe, I promise," and Kurt wrapped his arms tightly around him, and Blaine all but melted into Kurt's chest, sobbing into his shoulder. When his breathing had somewhat calmed, and he felt somewhat in control of himself again, he pulled away slightly, once again feeling guilty for waking Kurt.

"Hey, don't feel bad for waking me up," Kurt said, before Blaine could apologize, and despite his guilt, Blaine felt his heart soar at how much this man truly knew him.

"I'm still sorry," Blaine said, his voice raw from throwing up.

"I'm your husband, it's my job to help you when something is wrong," Kurt replied, simply. Blaine let himself relax back into Kurt's arms momentarily.

"How about you brush your teeth, to get rid of the taste, and I'll go make some tea, and then we can sit and talk for a while?" Kurt suggested, and Blaine was quiet for a long moment.

"Would you stay here while I brush my teeth?" he asked, and Kurt nodded instantly.

"Of course," he said, and he stood, offering Blaine his hand. Blaine took it, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet. Kurt stood next to the sink, patiently as Blaine brushed his teeth, and washed his mouth out with mouth wash. When he'd finished, Kurt took his hand, and lead him to the kitchen. Blaine hovered next to his husband as Kurt filled the kettle with water, and set it on the stove to boil.

"What kind of tea would you like?" Kurt asked, selecting a tea bag for himself.

"Whatever you're having," Blaine replied, and Kurt pulled a second tea bag from the tea box, before turning to the cupboard and glancing over the mugs they had. Kurt selected his favorite one, one that Blaine had bought for him for their first wedding anniversary. It wasn't particularly fancy, just a white mug, that was decorated with red and yellow flowers. Blaine had bought it, because red and yellow flowers had always been their thing, red for love, and yellow for friendship. Kurt studied the cabinet a moment longer, before selecting another fairly simple mug, this one with a yellow warbler drawing being the main design. Kurt set both mugs on the counter, ripping open the tea bags with his teeth, something he'd always done, but Blaine had never understood why. He knew each individual detail of what his husband was doing didn't matter, but paying attention to them always seemed to calm Blaine down. The kettle wasn't boiling yet, but Kurt seemed to think it was warm enough, as he poured the steaming water into each mug, holding the tea bag string with his finger so that the tea bag didn't get pulled all the way into the mug. He spooned sugar into each mug, two spoonfuls into his, and four into Blaine's.

"Here," Kurt said, pressing the warm mug into Blaine's hands. Blaine expected it to be almost painfully hot, but it was pleasantly warm instead.

"Thank you," Blaine said, and Kurt smiled softly, pressing a kiss to Blaine's cheek as he walked past, from the kitchen, to the couch in their makeshift living room. Blaine following, sitting next to his lover, and resting his head against Kurt's shoulder.

"What happened?" Kurt asked softly, no anger or judgement in his voice, just interest.

"There were gunshots," Blaine said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Oh, baby," Kurt said, wrapping his free arm around Blaine's shoulders, "you should've woken me up,"

"You have work early tomorrow," Blaine explained, and Kurt shook his head.

"That doesn't matter. If something is wrong, Blaine, I want you to wake me up, okay? I don't want you to have to go through that sort of thing alone," And Blaine sighed, setting his mug on the coffee table as he rubbed his face with his now free hands.

"I just hate feeling like I can't handle things. I'm twenty three, Kurt. I know we've both started thinking about kids, how am I supposed to be a father if I can't handle my own shit myself?" Blaine asked, and he felt tears pricking in his eyes once again.

"Oh, Blaine," Kurt breathed, his own tea placed on the coffee table beside Blaine's, reaching and pulled Blaine's hands from where they were nervously running through his hair, instead squeezing them tight in his own hands, "your trauma doesn't mean you'll be any less of a father," Blaine didn't have an answer for that, he instead let himself fall back into Kurt's arms.

"I couldn't stop picturing you getting shot," Blaine admitted, and Kurt just held him tighter.

"I'm okay. We're safe here, Blaine," and Blaine's breathing was still shaky as tears rolled down his cheeks, but in that moment, wrapped in Kurt's arms, he truly felt safe.

"I love you," he said after a long moment, and Kurt rubbed his back softly.

"I love you too, Blaine. So much," and Kurt pushed him away just enough to see his face, wiping his tears away before leaning in to kiss him. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's neck, kissing him back, gently.

"How about we go back to bed?" Kurt suggested, and Blaine nodded slowly.

"Can we... can we close the window?" Blaine asked, and Kurt didn't even question it.

"Absolutely," and when they'd both stood from the couch, Kurt reached for Blaine's hand again as they walked to the bedroom. Kurt closed the window, before following Blaine to the bed, crawling in next to him, and rolling so they were facing each other, their legs tangled together, and arms wrapped around each other.

"I love you," Blaine breathed once again, nuzzling into Kurt's neck.

"I love you too," was Kurt's breathy response. Blaine's panic and fear was completely gone as he relaxed in Kurt's arms. They were both safe, and that's all he needed. 

[dru-reblogs-stuff]

Get to know you tag

Yoinking an open tag from @blind-the-winds because it's been a hot minute since I've done one of these.

last song:

On the Railroad, performed by Colm McGuinness. It's a work song about building the First Transcontinental Railroad from Nebraska to San Francisco Bay. I'm particularly attached to this song, because it reminds me of when I traveled that route.

favorite color:

Let's go with 'vibrant rainbow' because I'm not really having an strong favourite colour at the moment. The Gent sent me a bouquet of pinks and purples and whites. The crocuses in the balcony are mostly yellow. The Housemate made some lego roses which are deep red. Everything else is shades of green, and the show I'm watching is filled with cyber blue.

currently reading:

Red Team Blues by Cory Doctorow. A very interesting story about an older forensic accountant who gets wrapped up in mafia wars to do with moving money through cryptocurrency. I'm learning a lot from it which I can use in Haven's Ember.

Countdown to Zero Day by Kim Zetter and Count Zero by William Gibson are on the backburner for now.

sweet, spicy, or savoury:

Sweet. I've had a really bad craving for ice cream for the past few days. I'm blaming how terrible the weather is.

last thing i searched online:

"green vegetables that start with a P" - On the way to my mum's yesterday we were talking about the sorts of things one can put in SpagBol, and Mum couldn't remember the name of a vegetable: "it begins with P" and I couldn't remember any veg names so I turned to the internet for help.

The vegetable she was thinking of was sPinach.

current obsession:

I've got a couple of things on the go, but none of them are really obsessions?

I'm editing a fanfic AU from 2017, which is bringing back ~emotions~. But it's also slowly getting posted on my main blog

I'm thinking about the next art project I want to do

I've been binge-watching my way through The Expanse which is awesome. I've not had a good space opera fix in a while (not counting Space Opera by Catherynne M. Valente which I read over xmas and was very fun)

Open tag! Tag me back if you yoink it so I can read all about you :D

[notetaeker]

Goodbye 2022

@peregrination-studies thank u for the tag! I love love planning and reflecting on the year so this was such a fun tag for me to do

What are things you've grown to like this year?

The process honestly. I've always been impatient when it comes to seeing results but over this year I started to appreciate the process of things? I've always been the type to start a project and then work on this project for 3 days until I'm done and by then I'd get so tired of it or be unsatisfied with the result because it doesn't reflect my tireless 3 days worth of work. But nowadays I start projects, put them away, continue it later, and it's been so enjoyable. I take time to fix any small things I would have ignored in the interest of time, start over if necessary. Just you know, processing it slowly. Instead of rushing toward the result, the experience of whatever it is- is the most important. It's still a work in progress but i think this is one of the things that surprised me the most in myself - the fact that I'm even able to do it. Other things I've grown to like: autumn lol and maybe even winter just a teensy bit.

What are things you've learned this year? Oof a lot of things actually. I think I'll make a list from my journal - Every morning I get to decide how to live my life / what I prioritize - Allah will open doors for you from placed you couldn't imagine - But you have to put in some effort and show you're trying - Living is much easier when you accept it instead of fighting it -Surely as the evening comes after a scorching hot day, so too will respite from whatever you're struggling with, it is the law of the world (the mercy of Allah) and all that was only until June asdlkj let me not make this too long lol maybe I'll make a post on stuff I learned this year

What works did you enjoy this year, be it films, books or other art? Books: The Secret Garden, Born a Crime Movies/Anime: Spy x Family, Julie and Julia, Also I watched all the spiderman movies on some random week like a crazy person Other art: sarah burns studio on youtube and her seascape watercolor paintings. They're so simple but also really beautiful

Is there something you're still looking forward to this year? There's only 2 days left! I was looking forward to buying yarn and I got it yesterday, so excited abt that. I'm hoping to go the beach today or tomorrow and see (sea) the ocean so :') excited for that if it happens (its so cold tho who knows). OH ALSO i wanted to bake cookies for my students for the first day of classes back from break and might make those early so that too ! :D

What would you like to see happening next year? SO MUCH omg - 1. Improve my arabic: I enrolled in an Arabic class because I've literally forgotten so many things so excited abt that. I also signed up for some other islamic studies classes b/c there was a discount so hopefully those are fun too! 2. take more notes !!! I keep reading / listening to such good stuff and telling myself I'll write it down when I have more time later and never doing it D: so next year hopefully I fill up a notebook or smth with those 3. Hopefully get comfortable with traveling / visiting places and then do exactly that 4. D: waiting on the result of my interview for a 2023 internship 5. turn some good deed into an unconscious daily practice. Rn I'm thinking sunnah prayers, because I've kind of dropped off from regularly doing them in the last year :( 6. ART. MORE REGULARLY. like i was doing this year :') im pretty pleased with the amt of art i did this year alhamdulillah

Tagging: @wayfaringmuslimah, @gushuwa, @wecandoit, @frenchiepal @humble-boness, @ckmstudies, @juliistudies, @heliops, @museeofmoon, @iwillsurvivecollege, @learnelle, @caffeinatediaries, @caramelcuppaccino

[butcherlarry]

I was tagged by @burins in a people I want to get to know tag meme! Thanks for the tag!

Last Song: I was actually listening to this in the car as I was coming home from work today, Sexkiller on the Loose by Carpenter Brut. I really like this whole album, Trilogy , and listen to it all the time when I'm traveling. It's nice thinkin' music for me, but I have to be careful because it's very easy to speed when listening to the upbeat songs.

The last podcast I listened to was the most recent Behind the Bastards episode, discussing Michael Lewis and the terrible book he wrote about Sam Bankman-Fried. I also completed a re-listen of BtB's six part series on what a bastard Henry Kissinger was, in honor of his death.

The last book I read was Axiom's End by Lindsay Ellis. I might have stayed up until 12:30 am finishing it, and was VERY TIRED when I went birding the next day. Reading this book finally pushed me to get a library card so I can read the next book, Truth of the Divine. I've been holding out on getting a library card for the last couple years because my life has been so hectic with multiple moves. I've finally settled down enough where I can get a library card, and this book was the push I needed to finally do it.

My favorite color: purple! I just really love that color. If you look in my closet, you'll see a lot of purple clothes :)

Currently Watching: What everyone else on the Internet is watching, Hbomerguy's Plagiarism video essay. I couldn't watch it all yesterday and have one more hour to go!

Last Movie: Barbie! I watched it with my two best friends over a discord chat. One of them hadn't been able to see it yet, so we watched it together. It was also lovely to catch up :)

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Hmmmmmm. I'm a sucker for sweet things, but sometimes that gets to be a little too much for me. So sweet and savory or sweet and spicy are always favorite combos of mine.

Relationship status: Single. Not really looking for anyone either. I'm starting to suspect that I'm aro as well as ace.

Current obsessions: BIRDS. Omg, birds. I blame my cats for this, I got a bird feeder to hang outside a large window at my old apartment to entertain them. Well, it ended up entertaining me too. Now I have a nice camera, multiple bird field books, and I go to the local arboretum every Sunday to go birding. It's my "go out and touch literal grass" day. And it's so much fun to see the birds throughout the year, especially seeing which ones stay in the area and who migrates/come back. The dark-eyed juncos and white-throated sparrows are back and I'm SO HAPPY to see those little guys! I post my pictures on my bird tumblr or Bluesky, as well as the Batfam discord server I'm in :)

Last thing I googled: How to take the FUCKING knife guard off our back up meat slicer to clean it. I wanted both slicers going because we had 100 POUNDS (45+ kgs) of deli turkey to slice for my company's holiday party and it was dirty from the last time it was used. I have NO IDEA how the FUCK we got it off the first time. It should be simple! There is a long pin/bar you unscrew in the back! But it still wouldn't come off!! I think there is some kind of safety we're not triggering, but I have NO CLUE what it is. The manual it came with and the manufacturer's videos on YouTube were NO HELP. I blame the French (the slicer was made in France).

I'm tagging @ktkat99, @betta-male, @sunny-in-gotham, @halehathnofury, @froizetta, @superbattrash, @lizyarikus, @sisaloofafump, and anyone else who would like to join! No pressure though! :)

[hotarutranslations]

To Time Machine No.3-san!

Evening

Since I couldn't write yesterday..

Again,

I was able to go on the live show the day before last on, FM FUJI "Time-chan"

Nah,

It was a rare "Lion Rock-chan"

If you listened, thank you very much🦁✨

Time Machine No.3-san, Suddenly weren't able to make it,

So we sent out the radio, with Lion Rock-san, and Yakubo-san!

Because there was..personal quiz in the script, They were questions from Ishida but🔴🔴

Fufufu🔴🔴

For Ishida's fans,

Things that get me excited.. YouTube..Red..

From those keywords, I wonder if you were able to find the answer right awa--yy--🔴🔴

If you missed listening to it, By all means from radiko↓ Time-chan FM FUJI 8/20 (Tue) 9:00-11:00PM

The thumbnail is from the day after yesterday… Since its supperrrrrr cute…

Here…

No wait, its too emotional..its too precious..cute..

Posting a link like this, Having it appear on blogs like dudu--n, Since its kinda embarrasing(?)

I wanted to quietly post a link(?) But its impossible with the way to do it⚠️

Thank you very much, to those that always read about what I like, for reading my blog😂🤍

With that,

Unfortunately I couldn't meet them the day before yesterday,

Time Machine No.3-san!!

Time-chan!! I'll use this space to write about, What I wanted to tell them when we met this time!!

Excuse me for such an honest title!!

I'm lost but.. I think, lets do it~!!

To Time Machine No.3-san!!

・Its been a while

・Ishida has also decided on her graduation~~

・Please definitely come and see my last~~ (Really, by all means if your schedule allows.. Even though I've always wanted you to come, It ended up becoming…the last of the last🤦🏻‍♀️ Please let me know if it fits your schedule)

(They were the MC's from the start through season 9) ・Hello Pro Dance Gakuen, We're doing our best currently~~

・They've helped out the Dance Gakuen Members, And now its become that there are 3 of the original members

・But we did a public recording, and it was exciting as always🕺🕺

・Recently Kagaya-san has often been the MC

・I watched Delish Kitchen on YouTube, that featured Kagaya-san and Time-san

・I'm watching Delish Kitchen

・Ishida also wants to be on Delish Kitchen

・Its not just Zigzag Ziggy-san, that wants to go on Delish Kitchen, I am here✋🏻

(…Um this is, I didn't plan to tell you this openly, I wrote it this way as it was too bad I couldn't tell you🫣🫣)

This is it!!

To Time Machine No.3-san!!

I received this watermelon from, Yamauchi Farm who has helped me on an AraKashi location shoot🤤🫶🏻

Although we learned about figs,

I received a watermelon🤤🫶🏻 I love watermelon🤤🫶🏻

Yamauchi-san kindly talk me about figs on,

Sendai Broadcast's Ara Ara Kashiko, Ishida Ayumi Goes! ~Yamamoto's Figs ver.~

Airing on August 24th🌸

🕺

Play▶️List

Debut song 48th Pyoko Pyoko Ultra~

I danced a lot on my own..

🕺

Graduation Announcement Blog🐣🪽

Hello! Station #531 I also talk about my graduation in this video

📺Sendai Broadcast "Ara Ara Kashiko"

August 24th (Sat) 10:25AM~ Ishida Ayumi Goes~! ~Yamamoto Figs Ver.~ I appear once a month as part of the AraKashi Family

The previous shows, and makings, are on OX VIDEO STORE!

📺Hello Pro Dance Every other Thursday at 11:30PM~

Thank you for following.. Instagram💙🩵

💿 August 14th new single✨ "Nandaka Sentimental na Toki no Uta/saiKIYOU"

⚾️Ceremonial Pitch

Rakuten Mobile Park Miyagi August 30th (Fri) I will be making the ceremonial pitch I will also be appearing in lots of events Lets cheer at the stadium together⚾️

🪩Hello! Project 2024 Summer ALL OF US "Vega" "Altair" From July 13th~September 1st Traveling To 7 Cities Nationwide All Hello! Project groups are performing🔥

🪩Sawayaka Goro Birthday Event September 8th on the day of Goro-san's birthday🎂 I'll be appearing as a guest at the birthday event🎂

🪩"Morning Musume '24 Concert Tour Autumn WE CAN DANCE!"

Its Ishida Ayumi's last tour💙 I'm looking forward to seeing you

🪩"ROCK IN JAPAN FESTIVAL 2024 in HITACHINAKA" September 22nd GRASS STAGE 10:30AM~

→Tickets are on general sale

📻Morning Musume '24 Morning Jogakuin ~Houkago Meeting~

Airs Every Saturday, On Radio Nihon at 12:00AM~

Past Broadcast Episodes Are Available →Program Details

I visited as a guest🪽 "Sayashi Riho and The Time From Now On" presented by Meiji Bulgarian Yogurt

📻I visited as a guest🤍 Harami-chan no Harami Fan Radio♪

(I forgot to post a photo, so I reuploaded it, sorry!)

see you ayumin <3 https://ameblo.jp/morningmusume-10ki/entry-12864625092.html

[badarthistorian-blog]

4/14/24

I'm back.

Well, I guess I shouldn't say I'm back - really, what I mean is that I went back to my alma mater yesterday (undergrad, not grad), sat in the crowd while current seniors presented their final BA thesis papers, reminisced about how much I miss the art world, and left the presentation feeling like I just had to do something to scratch that "why did I ever leave art behind, I need to get back to it right now!" itch.

What hasn't happened in the eight years since I was last here? The 2016 version of me who wrote the few posts that follow did have it rough, yes (it's hard not to look back at those entries and remember how lonely that time of my life was) - but little did she know that she only had a few years left of calling herself an arts professional. Years that I don't think I would redo necessarily, but I might have sunk my teeth in a little more if I could predict the detour my career path would take.

I only lasted in NYC for another month after my last post. I experienced some of the best times of my life in the four months I was there, but damn was it lonely. I was lucky enough to have a very good friend who lived in the city just a train ride away and who was there for almost every one of those best experiences, but my job sucked; my living space sucked; my boss sucked. If even one of those things was better it might have made all the difference, but it wasn't meant to be.

I packed my two suitcases and moved to New England on December 23, 2016. If it wasn't for the friends I'd made in grad school (and, let's be honest, my boyfriend at the time), I'd have no doubt ended up back at home in the Midwest. But I also had an opportunity I couldn't pass up - managing a photography gallery, essentially my dream job.

In the three years I was at the gallery, I saw, matted, framed, shipped, and catalogued some of the best works the history of photo has to offer. I worked a week-long photo show back in NYC and, again, experienced some of the most standout moments of my life (clearly NYC has that power over me; as my uncle would say, "that city has jazz in the air").

I stayed at the gallery for almost three years before one owner retired and the other decided to shift to an at-home gallery - aka, I was out of a job.

And that's how I landed in fundraising. A series of subsequent steps led me back to the Midwest and into a more suitable fundraising position for my personality (research-based, behind-the-scenes, and a bit more covert than asking for gifts). The boyfriend I had in New England is now my sweet husband. We travel, see family often, and are very happy.

But.

Yesterday, I caught up with one of my old professors. My history of photo professor, to be exact. He remembered what I'd shared with him during my last update - from 2017, when I was just learning the ropes of photo gallery management. When he asked what I was doing now, I told him and tried not to sound too bashful about no longer being in the art world. His response was, "That's great, but you were so close - you had your foot in the door." Polite, but disappointed. A not-so-subtle way of reminding me that I was there! I was doing it! I was a successful art (photo) historian!

But then... I left it behind. And I left it behind for all the reasons I started Bad Art Historian in the first place.

I found that the people who worked in the art world full-time weren't much better than the students who went through my grad program with me. Often, they were standoffish. I fairly consistently felt like I wasn't in on the joke, or that I wasn't doing art "right" because I wasn't high brow enough. I was intimidated by the people I indirectly worked with, and as someone who very much thrives on connecting with others, this left me feeling rejected.

That's not to say I didn't try. When my boss told me the photo gallery would be closing, I applied for plenty of art jobs. Assistant curatorships, gallery sitters, program coordinators. None of them worked out. Fundraising fell in my lap, and I wasn't in a position to deny it.

Honestly, It felt like a good change - welcome, in fact, especially when I very quickly realized that the people on my team were my kind of people. Friendly, outgoing, social, and supportive.

Which makes my photo professor's comment all the more rattly, because I had to remind myself that I left for a reason. I still hope that life will lead me back to the arts - but I don't think I betrayed myself by leaving in the first place. Accepting - and being okay with - that choice is difficult, but a worthy endeavor nonetheless.

Anyway. I'm back - maybe? We'll see how long this renewed energy lasts. But in this moment, I'm glad to be here.

[annieintheaair]

Hello Weekend

I honestly can't believe that I finally made it to Friday. This week has been incredibly long and I'm so sleep-deprived that I'd probably be happy with a weekend spent catching up on sleep at this point.

I have mixed feelings about it being Friday. Of course, I'm glad I'm done flying for the week and the rest of my month should be a little easier with only three trips per week, so that's something to look forward to. On the other hand, I became so used to the normal Friday of getting home from work, working my other job, napping, going to yoga at noon, and then loading myself and the dogs into the car to drive up to Todd's for the weekend.

I considered going to Disney World this weekend just to get away and go to a happy place. I went there not long after James and I broke up and it helped to get my mind off of things and feel happy again. After that breakup, I had planned out a whole train trip around the country. I had every intention of taking it but then realized that the last thing I needed right then was to take a trip alone. I felt like I just shouldn't be alone at that time. Instead, I went to Florida to visit my childhood friend, Pat, and we went to Disney.

I couldn't find a dog sitter for this weekend but I also knew that I shouldn't be spending the money right now when I have so many things coming up that cost a lot of money (like moving).

I got home from work around 7:30am today and was able to take a shower, get some work done, and then turn on the TV and fall asleep. When I woke up, Facebook reminded me that I had memories today. One memory was three years ago when I thought about my Grandma and just missed her so much. It's hard to believe that she has been gone so long. In the post, I talked about how when you love someone, you never stop missing them. I finished the post saying:

"Hold those you love close and tell them you love them. Our time here is so limited and our time with those we love is never long enough."

I still believe all of that today. There are lots of people like my Grandma and Dan, who I unfortunately, get to miss indefinitely. All of the people who once served a purpose in your life, random things happen in your day and it just makes you miss them all over again. Somehow, it feels worse to miss someone who is still here. It's almost easier when you know they're gone because they passed away. Missing someone who still exists in this world is incredibly painful.

Another post, from nine years ago, when I first started flying, was about my work trip to Chicago where I got to explore the city and walk 13 miles in one day all by myself because my crew wanted to stay in their rooms and watch Netflix all day. That day, I fell in love with Chicago. I said in the post, "In life, if you don't go alone, you probably won't go at all." My mom commented, "I just know that in this big beautiful world, there is someone waiting to travel with you!"

That Chicago post was NINE years ago! I'm STILL waiting for someone to travel with me. Dear God, I am EXHAUSTED!

I can go back and forth -- like, I'm ok on my own. But then, I keep seeing all of these events happening and fun things to do and I'm like, I really can't do any of those things alone and even if I tried, I don't think I'd enjoy any of it because I would feel lonely. Not having Todd to do all of the fun things with really sucks.

I can't go back in time and I feel like I can't fix anything. In therapy yesterday, Jose encouraged me to try to do the things I enjoy even on my own. We talked about how it's hard for me to do all of those things when everything means driving an hour. It was one thing to do it so I could spend the weekend with Todd but it feels like a lot to do it in one day just because.

When Todd and I were looking for a place together, there was more of a sense of urgency for us to find a place. Since his lease ends in June, we knew we needed to find a place by then. My parents seemed ok with that and so that became the timeline. Now, my mom seems to think that I should stay here forever until they find a buyer because she thinks I no longer have a timeline. Regardless of Todd, and even before we had started looking at places together and I thought I'd be moving on my own (which I am now, again), my timeline was still May/June. I wanted to move before summer when it gets too hot and I really don't think I can handle another summer without a pool.

Jose agreed that I'll feel better and happier once I'm back where I feel like I belong. He encouraged me to tell my parents that I still have that timeline even without Todd. When I tried to tell my mom that last night, she became really mad at me. Coming full circle here, that is exactly how I ended up with an anxious attachment style. When you have an anxious attachment style, your feelings can feel overwhelming and as a child, you learn how to manage them on your own because you feel like, no matter how hard you try to be close to people and how much you want them to understand you and accept your feelings, people treat you like you're too much.

I've been reading the book Secure Love and it made me think about times in my childhood when I felt like I was invisible. When I was 4 I ran with a noodle on my nose and ended up splitting my head open and needing 20 stitches. This was a call for attention. The same thing happened when I jumped off my bunk bed and nearly broke my nose. All these attempts at getting people to notice and care about me and even though I know my parents love me, sometimes when someone yells at me, like how my mom reacted last night, makes me feel like I can never do anything right. In the book, they call this "getting big" because it's how we get people to notice us when we feel ignored.

All these years later, I still can't stand to be ignored. Being ignored makes me feel like I'm being punished and like I can't do or say anything right.

The book I'm reading isn't only an attempt at fixing relationships, but also better understanding myself and those around me. I'm trying to be understanding when I feel ignored because I know that people with an avoidant attachment don't know how to process emotions and sometimes need time. I can't help but feel impatient because I just want to try to fix everything but I'm reading the book and working to become a securely attached person, instead of an anxious one. I just wish someone would notice my efforts and meet me halfway.

Well, I'm off to yoga to hopefully calm my mind and heart.

xoxo

Annie