#i'm also going a bit crazy because i NEED to be better at art on god i need to be better or i will sadly pass away

[chalkrub]

art trade w/ thrak800 on twit - love this fella !

[wolpatinga]

[ethearecals]

i wish i were heather...

synopsis: you were under the impression that you were stable in your secret long-term relationship with three of the four marauders, until it becomes clear that you aren't the girl they want anymore. (so you think). will you lose them before its too late? or have you already?

pairings: fem!reader x poly!marauders ` poly!marauders x lily evans

warnings: NO LILY SLANDER!! SHE'S PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL AND ITS NOT HER FAULT!!, cusswords, ANGST, depressing, a blip of reader skipping meals on the radar but it's srsly nothing crazy, insecure reader, the marauders besides peter are dicks, reader is a little naive, the marauders borderline cheat on you, no happy ending, there might still be one thoughhh, possibly slytherin!reader if you squint?,

part one in the conan gray series

A/N!!: In some of the fic i use colors to represent a certain character! Orange is Lily, Red is James, and Green is Barty :3

wc; 2.4k

LIFE WAS AMAZING, which is not usually how stories begin.

You felt so safe and secure in your secret relationship with Hogwarts' once most eligible bachelors... The Marauders.

The rush of excitement that coursed through your veins every time you shared a hidden glance with Remus, or hiding in the showers of the Gryffindor boys locker room with James after his quidditch victory, and sneaking off to empty classrooms where anyone from anywhere could catch you with Sirius.

It was heavenly, these boys were all you would ever need.

until... now.

You were in Remus' sweater, he said it looked better on you than it did him. If only he knew how much you liked him...

The fireplace erupted with a citrine glow, illuminating the Gryffindor common room beautifully.

Most impactfully, it lit up Remus' scar-kissed features.

His freckles looked as if they were painted onto his face with careful hands by a renaissance painter.

His eyes half-lidded from his lack of sleep from the incoming full moon that was slowly approaching, it pained you to know how much they hurt him.

For once, Remus wasn't in a sweater. Since his was rested comfortably on your body, as your scent comforted The Wolf greatly.

And his scent comforted you, too.

Remus' book had suddenly landed on your lap, and though it startled you a bit. You didn't bother to ask why, until you sat up.

Remus was locked in a passionate conversation with Gryffindor's resident golden girl, Lily Evans.

"Evans, it's lovely to see you."

"Same to you, Lupin."

Godric, was she beautiful.

"I just stopped by to see if you had gotten any of the Defence Against The Dark Arts homework done?"

Lily Evans was as radiant as an angel who blessed anyone with her presence.

"I have; actually, I just finished my paper."

Remus seemed mesmerized by her, the golden gleam from the fire painting her features gorgeously in that same citrine glow as Remus'.

"Could I have a look of it? Not to copy it- obviously, I just want to see how others are wording the question."

You weren't even half as pretty as Lily.

"Of course, and I know you'd never cheat."

"You're the smartest witch in our year."

You tried not to mind other girls flirting with your boys.

Just because you knew that later that night they'd be back to your boys again, and only yours.

As she was about to go, she planted a soft kiss on the side of Remus' cheek, leaving him blushing softly as he bid her goodbye.

Your heart clenched, it was merely a pleasantry. You were being dramatic.

"Are you alright, dove?" Your head perked up at the sound of Remus' voice.

"Hm? Yeah, I'm fine." You mused, albeit a bit absentmindedly.

"Are you tired?" He asked carefully.

"I am, actually..." You forced a sweet smile onto your lips, as he leaned down to kiss them softly.

That kiss was the last one that felt anything more than a chore, an obligation.

That was also your last kiss with Remus.

Cheering James on at the quidditch pitch was just the thrill you needed after that melancholy moment with Remus.

He soared through the field like he was on top of the world, the players scattered around the pitch for one common goal: to win.

Gryffindor had won the game with 60 points, and James had caught the snitch like usual.

This game was also a rain game.

Just as you were about to head down to showers when you spotted Lily excitedly trailing after James.

You knew full well that James chased Lily tirelessly since they started school, that was also well before you came into the picture.

You also knew that she wanted nothing to do with him or the other marauders, so what was with her infatuation now?

Why your boys? She couldn't find her own boys?

But maybe she was just being friendly, right? The boys would never ever cheat on you... right?

You heard Lily giggle as James so graciously held the curtain open for her to enter the locker room, and your heart clenched.

You followed them in, jealously.

"James?" You called, as James poked his head from the changing area. Sweat glistening off his abs.

"Hi, Y/N." He shut the curtain behind him, as if he had something to hide.

Also; he barely just called you by your first name.

"You didn't come to see me after the game?" You questioned, grazing his cheek gently as he spoke."

"Sorry, Y/N. It was a long one." He excused, as he clearly looked a bit flushed.

"You look red, are you dehydrated?"

"Godric, y/n. you are hardly my mum."

You giggled as if it was a joke, yet he seemed quite stone faced.

You cleared your throat embarrassingly once you realized.

"I... just wanted to congratulate you on another win." You forcefully smiled again.

"Thank you, I really appreciate that." Then, he flashed his classic grin at you.

The grin he hadn't flashed at you since he realized he genuinely liked you.

What the fuck?

"Victory kiss?" You asked quietly, with some false hope mixed in.

"Of course." He pecked your forehead quickly, before hurrying off back to his changing area.

And with that, you had also left the steamy tent and outside into the cool, soft rain once more.

A forehead kiss? whenever he used to give you victory kisses they'd be full-on make outs in that same changing room or the showers.

James was falling out of love with you, and you knew it.

Luckily, you could easily disguise your tears with the excuse of it raining.

"Victory kiss?" Lily mewled, from her position on the stool in his changing spot.

"Just on the forehead, lovely."

You stopped showing up to breakfast, as the one time you decided to go Lily was sat in your spot next to Sirius.

Dorcas was nearly at her wits end with the boys and their antics.

The motley crew of Slytherins were the only ones who knew of your relationship, and they were pissed off.

"Treasure, surely they aren't fucked enough to know that you are the best thing they've ever had!" Barty explained, laying upside-down on his bed across from you.

"I-It's no use, Jr." You cried softly, mirroring his position yet on your bed instead. The tears (and blood) rushing to your hairline instead of your face because Dorcas said 'Your makeup is too pretty to ruin, love.' .

"There is a use, Y/L/N. we'll kill them-"

"Jr, absolutely not." Regulus chided, rubbing your shoulder. "She's clearly upset, I don't see the issue."

"Murder is never a good option, Barty." Dorcas scolded gently.

"So what are we gonna do then? My Treasure can't go on like this!"

"You said you've already talked to James and Remus? Maybe you can go talk to... eh... Sirius." Clearly, that name was hard for Regulus to get out.

"*Sniff* yeah, yeah- I'll go talk to him..." You sat up half-hazardously, and strutted out of the dorm-room to go (hopefully) save your relationship.

You still remember the third of December.

Sirius lounged on the couch while speaking with the other marauders, about some sort of prank on the other group of Slytherins.

"And then, we'll-"

"Hi, Siri." You sat next to him, beaming up at him (hopefully).

"...y/n." He greeted casually, before continuing to talk.

Your smile faded, as he continued to talk to your other boyfriends friends about this horrible prank.

Instead of leaving, you sat quietly next to them, as if you were some decoration or trophy wife.

This was truly your breaking point, as you saw Lily sit down on the couches of the common room as she caught all of their attention, you hadn't seemed to do that for ages. Though, she was wearing something familiar...

Remus'... sweater...

Remus'- YOUR Remus' sweater.

"How's it look?" Lily asked, giving them a twirl. Their eyes locked on her.

"Gorgeous, doll." Sirius flirted, shooting her a wink.

"Truly a sight for sore eyes." James grinned.

"It looks better on you than it did me." Remus took her hand and helped her sit down on the couch in between him and James.

That's exactly what he said to you...

He put his arm 'round her shoulder,

suddenly you got colder.

She's got them mesmerized... while you die.

But how could you hate her?

She's such an angel...

But then again you wished she were dead.

"Why would you ever kiss me?" You asked impulsively.

"What?" James looked up from Lily, all eyes on you.

"I mean- I'm not even half as pretty."

"Y/n, You're overthinking it-" Remus started it.

"You gave her your sweater!" You shot back.

"It's just polyester!" Remus defended.

"But you like her better." You felt the tears rush to your waterline.

"We're done." You whispered, leaving Lily looking so confused and the common room dead quiet.

"What does she mean by that...?" Lily seemed horrified.

"We... weren't really dating.." Sirius attempted to defend.

"Yes, we were, you tosser!" James shoved him.

"You said yourself that you were bored of her!" Remus stated matter-of-factly.

"Was I seriously the other woman?" Lily mewled, her hands clutching the sides of her head.

"Nonono- No, we were planning to break up with her but- because we all wanted you-" Sirius tried again.

"Then don't fuck around with her feelings just to get me!" Lily yelled, standing up quickly.

"I appreciate the admiration- but I need time to process, okay? You all were absolute... arseholes to her, I'll admit." Lily started,

"Are you saying no?" James quickly cut in.

"...No..." Lily ended.

After crying your eyes out to Barty and Regulus over your breakup, December 7th rolled around.

The day that students were meant to be studying for their OWLS and other end of term exams.

You would usually be in the library 24/7.

Lily, had finally come around and accepted the boys' proposal, and their relationship became public quickly.

Lily obviously still felt this bitter taste of guilt in her mouth, as did all of them.

So today, Lily had convinced them all to apologize to you for borderline cheating and lying and manipulating and gaslighting-.

But, you were nowhere to be found.

"Regulus! Regulus, wait up!" Lily ran through the hallways to get to her.

"Evans, Brother.. Potter... and Lupin.." She said those last three names with utter disgust.

"We're trying to find Y/n, have you seen her?" Remus asked quietly, he was definitely feeling the most guilt.

"Y/n? Well, If she was here, I think she'd completely refuse to see you lot." Regulus explained bluntly.

"W-What do you mean "If she was here"?" James questioned.

"I mean, Her, Junior., and the Rosier twins completed their OWLS early and hightailed it to Junior's holiday house for the rest of the break." He explained casually.

"What?" Sirius scowled.

"What the hell is my girl-... Y/n doing with them?" James had the same expression as Sirius.

"They are simply better friends then you were to her, hm? I don't blame her."

"When will she be back?" Lily asked breathlessly.

"End of December, If she ever returns." Regulus strolled away, potions book in hand.

"...We fucked up."

Fin.

[11cupids-tarot11]

What's going on right now? Need Clarity? A message from Spirit!

1-3

Choose a selfie! ☆

︻デ═一・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

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─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Pile 1- 9 of Pentacles, 9 of Wands, Princess of Pentacles, 3 of Cups, 8 of Cups, 9 of Swords, The Hermit, Ace of Cups, King of Cups, Ace of Wands, 2 of Cups, extra card- Prince of Pentacles.

Bottom of the deck- The Lovers

Hi my pile 1!

Today I feel like Spirit really wants to talk about you and your work. I heard something about planting roots, could be a literal 9-5 job we're talking about or even a relationship for some of you (I'm picking up on a masculine here), but I'm feeling like it might not be the way you want to to be right now, you're not seeing the results of all of your hard work but the Nine of Pentacles talks about having to climb that last mountain before you can reach the top and rest. This energy here is expressing though we may be so tired and want to give up it's very important you look back and see how far you've come in any given situation, how much you've progressed with maybe in a job, or something that really matters to you like finishing a book or even how much progress you've made in a relationship as well. (My phone buzzed as confirmation, I feel like there's a little bit about love in this reading which is crazy because I'm trying so hard to be diverse and not talk about romance so much but other forms of love too lol). Overall I'm getting don't give up, I know it's a struggle but sometimes it's good to sit back, reflect and remember our "Why". We just need that extra push of motivation, whatever motivates you, even if it's taking a small break before you decide to get back at it again, anything but quit! An example I could use is when I'm working on my Digital Art for a good hour and decide I still don't like how my drawing looks, I get tired but deep down want to finish it soo bad, so instead of giving up I take a break, let my fingers breathe and get a snack before going back at it again, sometimes it's okay to not break your back trying to finish projects no one's perfect.

So I feel like Spirit also wants to warn us of becoming too materialistic, it's clear this message is for someone who's worked hard to get to where they are now, but I feel like you haven't had the time to celebrate that because you're too focused on moving on to the next thing so quickly, we should appreciate and honor and celebrate all that we've done for ourselves even if you haven't reached the highest goal you've set, go out and celebrate with people you love! You deserve it!

So I feel energy like someone putting so much on themselves, I feel like you make yourself your main concern? If that makes sense? Like someone who gets frustrated at themselves because they quit something, someone here overworks their mind way too much, to a dangerous point. You're pushing your body to work so much because of a certain goal and I see here you see yourself as the problem. You are the very thing that crafts your reality but you can also break it as well. You know that saying less is more? I just heard it in my head, like if you stopped focusing so hard on this and live a little you might manifest it better not obsessing over it so much.

I'm picking up on two different messages, one is for someone who hardly has fun, I think the main message for you to overcome some things is to reach out more to people you love, spend more quality time with them! Have fun, go out and just go for a walk or sit in the park! Do something that doesn't feel like a job, you know? For others, I'm getting you might be more introverted, Spirit is encouraging you to branch out more, maybe work is something that you've just always known and been comfortable, but Spirit is encouraging you to go make some friends, step out of your comfort zone a little! Sometimes someone's companionship is all you need and you would've even realize it because if you're like me and hardly care for socializing it's something you can definitely live without, can't miss something you've never had right? Lol.

I feel some anxiety, negative thoughts and bad coping methods that are no longer serving you, but I feel like this anxiety is just coming from being scared, scared of the unknown especially. This energy doesn't serve you, focus on healing this and pushing this energy out of our consciousness, don't expect it, normalize it or embrace it.

I think as time goes on you could slip into a state of wanting to be alone a lot, I think this is a warning if you continue on you'll always be stuck in that energy. I think the hermit also reminds us to consider ourselves better, present and future, encourages to get to know yourself as well, take time to really understand and appreciate yourself.

I think you're a kind person, I'm seeing here you're represented by the Ace of Cups as well as how you see yourself, which means there is self love there, even if you don't see it or feel it's not impossible! Take it day by day, step by step, whatever that looks like for you! You have lots of joy and sunshine 🌞 maybe you're someone who likes to keep a positive appearance and rarely ever show your real emotions especially if they're negative.

I keep picking up on small messages of someone waiting for a specific love interest or maybe just waiting for your love life to get juicy in general.

I feel like someone's hoping for a connection, there's lots of masculine energy here. This is a special message so if you've been hoping for a specific person Spirit knows! I can't get much but maybe that's because it's not supposed to be a love reading, but I did get that message, Spirit hears you. Maybe this masculine is also a person some of you know, like they're in your life already and they have a heavy impact on you. I'm seeing for some of you it doesn't have to be romantic, could be a father figure for those of you wishing to get closer with your father's!

In conclusion, I don't want to say you'll never find a solution to your problems, but I will say life will always be throwing tough situations at us, at any given time, I think the highlighted message here would be that our mindset is the key here, you can't change your situation maybe but you can decide how you handle them. A strong mindset is always important, a clear and positive one. It's not an answer, no, but it's more like encouragement. I feel like Spirit wants to remind you as long as you have you, you'll never really be stuck or lost, you have the power to see the greater good of any situation or the power to visualize and manifest a life or outcome of a situation you want!

Hope you like this reading! Love you! <3

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

Pile 2- The Hermit, Judgment, Eight of Pentacles, Four of Cups, The Tower, The Star, Three of Swords, Nine of Cups, Nine of Wands, The hanged man and The World.

Back of deck: Queen of Cups

So the Hermit is once the fool, right? I feel this card is drawn today to point out that you need to focus on something with yourself. You're being pushed to learn more about yourself maybe, I'm getting this card also signifies someone who mostly spends their time alone, this could be because you're being drawn to focus more on yourself and this could also serve as a warning for some that you could be surrounding yourself with too many energies. Either way this card does signify a change does need to happen. A path needs to be taken. Something needs to be done, let's see what it is!

So currently it's healing, I'm seeing it's something heavy on your mind and heart. Well, with the Justice I hear that you have the option to heal right now, you maybe have been wondering what does healing really mean? and I'm hearing that the Angels Gabriel maybe are present with this card and that the path to healing is about to basically open up for you to take. I want to go into great detail about what I mean but can't find the best words, my book describes it like 'an opportunity to scrape off any remaining bits of mud clinging to your boots'.

I feel like someone here is very focused on healing for the greater good, you have a desire, strong will and determined just to do better for you and with the Eight of Pentacles it serves as kind of a confirmation that your guides do see and hear your efforts. Some of us could even be manifesting greater things, better days and your guides definitely do hear you! Makes me feel like they're hinting that your wish will be granted soon, the judgment card does often hint at justice! ;)

I know it might be confusing or some of you are probably like "what?" But I'm hearing that you'll just get random downloads and be like "oh yeah, duh! I should totally try doing that." A specific message for a few of you lol.

So the four of cups makes me feel like your guides are just pointing out more the need to kind of take a break away from everything and everyone. Maybe you're around people who don't have your best intentions or don't really serve you or your healing journey and spirit warns to watch who we keep around, it might be time to cut some people off. Some of you might be getting invited out, it's okay to reject them and let them down easy, take time for you, it's okay to not be bothered and be in the comfort of just yourself! <33

Right now I feel like you're carrying a lot of tension, anxiety and there's a call to release all of that, a change, I feel like being around people might be causing this anxiety because this is supposed to represent your external energy and you got the tower card, but so far all I'm getting is isolation is good for you, which is making me think there might just be a specific person causing this anxiety, if they make you feel bad they're not worth having around, i had to learn that the hard way whoever needs to hear this 😭 🩷

So we're letting go of burdens, anything that's holding us back, we're getting into really good energy! I love this pile honestly lol. You got the hope card! While all of this is happening, you're going to be passing through really heavy energy I bet, it might feel like you got hit by a bus even but your guides want you to remain hopeful! Try to stay as optimistic and positive as you can be, showing gratitude can also help right now! But good job! You're looking at every corner of your shadow self, you're doing a really good job too!

Okay, see! The three of swords is heavy energy but it does signify ✨ NEW 😍 and BETTER 😩 things for us! If you keep going this road, you're going to find something that really brings you contentment and life will feel good again for you! You're getting justice baby!!! I'M TRYING TO GET YOU HYPED BECAUSE YOUR GUIDES ARE PROMISING EVERYTHING YOU'VE WISHED FOR!! 😍😍 Lol whatever that might look like for you, like lately I've really been wishing for a new apartment, so when spirit says my wishes are about to be granted I'd get real excited because that means I'm gonna find a way to get that new apartment soon! Lol.

So right now I feel like you know you're able to manifest these good things all on your own. I feel like a few of you are like me and it maybe took you this long journey to get where you are now, maybe mentally or also in a physical matter, either way you look back and see how far you've come, you still want so much more and maybe you kinda pick on yourself when you realize that but your working on being content and grateful and moving forward now that you really understand how to now!

So I'm hearing that you might have some fears about never seeing progress, or maybe you're grinding very hard I'm talking day and night and you haven't seen the results you want, but you'll get there! I'm hearing the only way you don't is if you give up on yourself. As long as you have the consistency, motivation and power to keep showing up you will definitely see the results you want!

You got the world card as your outcome! This is a possible outcome, the world represents completion usually all things of a happy ending basically! Which means this is how your outcome will be! You do big work and receive big rewards from the universe! You're going to be sooo happy, you're on your way to your biggest achievement yet I feel! Congratulations! 🤭😍

I also heard a message about someone needing to further develop their spiritual growth!!

Hope you enjoyed!! 🩷 Love you sweetie piez

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

Pile 3- Eight of Cups, Temperance, Three of Cups, Seven of Cups, Princess of Wands, Ace of Cups, King of Swords, The Emperor, Princess of Cups, Ace of Swords, Two of Cups.

Hii! ☺️ So there's a message for you in pile 2! Specific for some of you, maybe if you felt drawn to more than one pile I highly recommend checking it out because I could not stop channeling that!

Let's get into your reading now!

So you're currently in an era of change right now, moving away from toxic energies, environments, mindsets and/or situations, I'm hearing it's because you're embarking on something new and you want to have a fresh clean state basically. Good for you! I totally resonate with that, it's a very good example of bringing home a new puppy even though you already have a dog, you still buy the new dog it's own toys and personal items because you can't just take the old dog's things and give it away, you have to start all over again and buy fresh items, you know? Weird example but this is the best I could explain it 🤣 I don't even have a dog so bare with me lol.

So I see that you're currently questioning how to go about this, and I get the feel that the Temperance card is telling us that we have that answer within. I think Spirit really wants to remind you to listen to your inner child as well, not only that but all parts because it's very important, even our shadow selves. So I feel like that's something you're going to be going through, mental clarity. This energy is a lot like pile 2! There's an overlapping message! Pretty soon you'll be gaining insight, like you'll be receiving downloads and messages from your team and everything will just "click" for you, yk? 😭 Lots of magical energy in all of the piles today it's crazy. I think you're also going to be learning how to balance yourself out, you're going to Intuitively just know because you've done the work searching every part of yourself!

So I see some tension and desire around three of cups, maybe someone here could be wishing for healthier connections, maybe there's some fear of being alone even and it's triggering some healing to be done around that area.

So like I said earlier, you're going to be receiving some intuitive messages that will bring you lots of clarity which is confirmation with the Seven of Cups, it'll just come to you, you might receive an important dream soon! So just keep on keeping on lmao basically stay true to your goals and keep forward on your path!

Okay okay I see you working on moving into your Princess of Wands energy! So the Princess part is like someone who's still learning, so you're going to be in an energy that you're in control of! I feel like you're already represented by the Princess of Wands energy and you're just working on being Queen now! You're going to learn how to utilize your personal energy, creativity and sexual power. Okay so you're going to need this new energy for the path you're going down, you're going to shine through it, literally you're a star whoever you are lmao other people see your energy too, you're someone people look up to! You're embarking on a new journey, I feel like I keep repeating myself a lot but even in my tarot book it says the exact same thing in the card description as the messages I'm channeling from Spirit 🤣 I've gotta start a YouTube so I can show you guys more! Or would you guys prefer if I just included pictures? I don't for aesthetic purposes but let me know guys!

Anyways, back to YOU lol,

So I see you wishing for lots of abundance like love maybe, doesn't have to be very deep and serious like marriage but I feel like a few of you want a baby and someone that loves you and it's a dream of yours, but you're probably putting that dream to the side right now to work on yourself which is good! That way when you are ready to receive you'll know exactly what to do with your gifts, treat them nicely lol! I do see a promising future for you where you receive all of that plus the self love from yourself which will already come first before anything, I think it's really beautiful energy I really like this pile 😭 I love you whoever you are, you feel so sweet!

OOO I see a King of Swords in someone's future? I feel like this is a romantic for a few of you because you also have the Two of Cups as your ending card which represents union to me. My book describes this person as fascinating, and talkative, they'll be very good at providing you emotionally and physically wise! I feel like after all of this work you're finally getting the connection with someone you've been waiting for!

Gender doesn't matter here, but you might see yourself as the Emperor, even if you struggle to, the outside world does too! You're a born leader, you're strong and intelligent enough to LEAD the team! People respect you I feel like, you're very hardworking, you like to set goals, some people might call you a nerd lol 🤓. I feel like in school you were the one who took control in group projects, you're very outspoken and an outgoing person, people love to be around you!

You might not have had many relationships, I'm hearing you might be kind of scared of love and have some hope and fears around it, you'll be discovering your own love language I hear ☺️ how precious omg.

So someone around you with the Ace of Swords suggests that someone you've already had your eye on someone for a while, a few of you might even be in the talking stages still! Either way you might already know who you're coming into union with 🤣 Crazy! For others of you, you will be meeting this person soon! A complete stranger you'll just bump into within divine timing on the weirdest day of your life!

So the Two of Cups is your outcome! With the two of cups it means you'll get the perfect person you've been waiting for! Which is what you've been wishing for, right? (Me too😭) I'm seeing that picturing your perfect person will help manifest them! Some of you could be dating after heartbreak as well I'm picking up on, for those of you who are single you'll be glowing! People will notice and compliment you a lot more. You're just ready to receive while being in your Queen energy! Real hot girl shit 😍 lol I love that omg.

Lots of water energy, someone could be a water sign, Pisces, Scorpio or Cancer or have those placements heavily in ur chart. Someone here could like the color blue or purple or those colors might be significant for you. The number 4 might also be significant. Someone could wear red a lot.

I hope you enjoyed this reading! Love youuu!!!

[kozachenko]

[Click for better quality]

Ok yay I'm back from my vacation yipeeeeeee. I started this drawing of Keiki before I left and I was half considering just giving up on it.... until I did a short study of facial planes and then got motivated to work on this again! I'm glad I didn't give up on it though, as I'm actually really happy with this one!

Artist's Notes;

So as I mentioned in my last post about Touhou 17, I wanted to finish this by the game's five year anniversary but with how progress was going I didn't want to rush this so I decided to take a long break from it. Mainly because of the face. For a while now I was kind of feeling like I was stagnating with my drawings, not really in the clothing but in the bodies. There was something about the way I was rendering them that I just wasn't happy with, and after talking with someone else about this issue, I realized that the reason I felt this way was because the faces were too flat and didn't match the rest of the drawing and that I needed to find a way to make the rendering of the face feel consistent with everything else. So after doing a short study of the plains of the face (I used this 3D head model from art station as a reference for my short study, please go give this person some love as they are a lifesaver) I went back into this drawing and applied what I learned here. It was only after that that I finally became motivated to finish the piece, and while it started off as just a simple character sketch like Saki and Yachie's were, the moment I added in Keiki's little fire dragon I knew I had gotten in too deep and now here we are with a full on background. OK it's not super crazy or anything, but it gets the job done and it's better than there just being an empty void behind her. It's rare moments like this when I use brushes other than the Clip Studio Default Charcoal Brush and use the Clip Studio Default Paint Brushes as well (god bless the oil paint and dry gouache clip studio brushes, they were amazing). I don't know why but painting fire has always been really fun for me, there's something oddly satisfying about it y'know? I do think that another reason for this problem was because I was drawing faces like I would in my more sketchy style that didn't mesh well with my lineless style, so I'm glad I've started remedying that.

After adding in the fire dragon I had an idea to kinda make it feel like splash art in the way the composition works... probably because I have been playing Reverse 1999 again and it has taken over my brain. I do feel like Keiki's tools get a little lost in the composition, and I didn't fully render the metal parts of them mainly because I didn't feel like they needed it, but that's just something for me to improve on later down the line.

If you guys are wondering where I went for my vacation, I went to New York and got to go to the MET and the Museum of Natural History. In both places I found Kofun period stuff and I was so happy to see it you have no idea. I remember one of the Haniwa I saw had some neat face paint under the eyes that I tried to replicate with the makeup under Keiki's eyes in my drawing, though I think I'll gave to figure out how to draw makeup on characters because this reads more like blush to me than anything. While drawing this I also looked up some references of Kofun period jewelry and really liked the stuff I found, which also meant that now she has proper Kofun earrings instead of earrings shaped like Kofun tombs. I put some of the things I referenced with a closeup of Keiki's face as well down below. I made her outfit more reminiscent of the outfit I gave her at the beginning of the year with the buttons and all, though I do want to try and draw her in some more period accurate clothing like the Haniwa I took a picture of at the Museum of Natural History. I wish I could find a way to make her handercheif look better though as I wish I made it a little bit bigger, though I think I'm saying this because I've looked at this drawing for too long lmao. Once again something to work on for when I next draw her. Also want to get better at rendering hair, as some details (like the little strands in front of her ears) kinda got unreadable due to the similarities in colour lol.

Now you may have also noticed the little cracks I added onto Keiki's face, and that's because I have fallen in love with the idea of Keiki's body being made from ceramic and that she crafted her body herself. While they aren't very visible I also tried to add some doll joints to her body, which is an idea I played around with in the past but never went to far with. I also want to get better at rendering cracks in ceramic, porcelain, etc, as I'm not sure how those read in the drawing. I also have a headcanon where the cracks in Keiki's face show up because of heightened emotions, and while Keiki is aware of this and does her best to make sure her face doesn't break off.... she will still end up with at least a few cracks during any given day, and she can often forget to repair her own body quite frequently so Mayumi has to remind her quite a lot. Mayumi even taught herself some basic sculpting techniques to help repair parts of her body that are so badly damaged to the point where Keiki can't repair them herself, i.e. if both her arms broke off, Mayumi would put them back together for her so Keiki can at least have something to repair herself with rather than nothing. I also like to imagine that if Keiki created her own body, if you took a look at Keiki from the beginning of her life she would look completely different compared to now.

BTW If you guys are wondering what a very very angry Keiki looks like....ok in order for this to make sense have any of you read volume 11 of Land of The Lustrous? Am I bringing back some memories for those of you that have? Ok good, glad we all got that mental image brewing in our minds, I'll probably draw a version of Keiki that is somewhat inspired by that one day as it's an idea I've had for a little while now. And to those who haven't gotten to that volume yet and are confused.... don't worry about it, just keep reading :)

[damian-al-ghul-wayne]

H h h hey...! Damian mun here with another certified YAP because I keep seeing posts about this specific thing, and I need to talk about it....!!!

So. A while back, I had seen this post talking about how Talia's first punishment for Damian would be that Damian had to kill a horse. Which seemed bonkers to me because she absolutely wouldn't force Damian to do that. If you didn't know, the Al Ghuls are eco terrorists. They want to make the world better by focusing on plants & animals more than the actual people. That's just one thing btw...

Anyways, back to my yap that will sound absolutely fucking crazy in the end because it won't be written good. (This is a warning)

I saw another post talking about how Damian only finally expressed his love for animals when he started living with Bruce and that he would only know the heartbreak of an animal death when living with Bruce. Which is... not true at all. I don't think people tend to realize that Damian's compassion for animals comes from Ra's and Talia. They're the reason he's compassionate about animals and why he ends up saving Bat-Cow.

Maybe it's just me, but people seem to keep crediting Bruce ( or other bat family members ) for things that Damian has like his love of animals, artistic ability, anything to do with the arts, etc. It feels like a tad bit racist because it's like nobody can accept that Damian's non-white family members gave him those characteristics when, in fact, they did. I don't know. That's just something I've noticed.

Going more off of that, but I've also seen people argue that Ra's and Talia were against animals, the arts, and all those types of things. It just irks me so badly when people mischaracterize them like that JUST because they're not counted to be "heroes" or on the "good side." Even then, Talia is very much a grey moral character, yet they always depict her as a terrible mother, evil, etc. Ra's is counted a supervillain, yes, but that doesn't mean Talia is? Even then, it's just weird to push those kinds of stereotypes on people just because they're "bad." I never see people say stuff like, "Oh yeah, the riddler would soooo kill a puppy." I only see people say that about the Al Ghuls, and I'm so tired of it.

I saw a post today, and it was about Damian experiencing his first heartbreak over a pet death. Legit one of the first sentences read was, "Ra's would either force Damian to kill the animal or give it away." Why is it between those options, like, what! The post overall was sad because of the meaning, but I just didn't like that part. Ra's is known to be an animal lover in the comics. He has a pet wolf. I don't think he would have forced Damian to murder an animal if he so happened to sneak it inside of the league.

Maybe that's just me, but it bothers me when people say these things.

I have a platform, though, and I'm not afraid to share my thoughts on this. I've been a very big advocate against this type of mischaracterization, and I'm sorry that I do it so much. I know it may get annoying, but I feel like it needs to be expressed. 😭

Also, you guys can definitely block these posts by blocking the tag "Damian mun yapping about Damian" 👍

That's all I have for right now... thank you for reading....

[miaozzy]

ur a fan ?!

Synopsis ot6!, fluff, silly: Where u catch them being a fan of your music/art

warnings: secrets that's it (i think...?)

wc: 972 words

a/n: I rmb writing this for my other anime blog and it was so fun :0 so i decided to do a bnd version ! pls request, and share if you like this !

Jaehyun

♪ not gonna lie to you he would not keep it a secret that he is your fan, he's your biggest (and loudest supporter). but for the sake of this fic we will assume that he kept it a secret

♪ you found out when you walked in on him, with his earphones plugged in and everything, loudly singing (almost as well as you)

♪ "what are you doing" you sneak behind him and whisper in his ear

♪ "aah!" he jumps a little bit "you weren't suppose to see this!" his voice a little pitched and kind of fumbling to try and turn his music off, pulling the earphones out of his ears

♪ he ends up making himself more suspicious :|

♪ after he calm down, he kinds goes full fanboy mode "but your music is so good it would be unreasonable to not stream it"

♪ "what a dramatic man"

♪ "but I'm your man"

♪ being exposed, he wouldn't stop praising you, almost threatened to make a fanpage because he has nothing to hide now (he might just do it)

Sungho

♪ calm but slightly defensive no1, also not the type to hide the fact that he was a fan

♪ you catch him when using his phone in the car, changing the song

♪ just out of curiosity, you check his loop playlist, and surprise surprise it's just your latest release

♪ "yeppi! i didn't know you liked me that much !"

♪ confused, he takes a peek at the phone in your hand and immediately faces straight again

♪ "ah ...you caught me" his ears red, " you can't blame me tho ugh, it's just too good"

♪ isn't dramatic or big about his support but he's glad the cats out of the bag, so he can outwardly show his support

♪ sings your songs ALL the time now, when he's cooking, when he's cleaning and even when he's showering

♪ pspsps maybe he's planning to upload a cover of your song for onedoors to listen to

Riwoo

♪ blushy and super shy about it

♪ kept it a secret because he was initially learning the dance to your song and stays up late just so he can perfect it for the dance challenge

♪ you walked into one of the dance practice rooms and that's when you caught him

♪ "you almost do it better than me riwoo-ah" you lean against the door

♪ he tobbles backwards with a little yelp, shocked to see you since ou agreed to meet back at your shared apartment instead

♪ "how long have you been standing there?" fumbling for his phone to pause the music

♪ "long enough to see the whole dance, you're good enough to debut in my group!"

♪ he ends up showing you his practice before you pack up

♪ while packing, you hug him from the back "I didn't know you liked my music so much, you're so adorable" which has him blushing even more

Taesan

♪ nonchalant king frfr

♪ makes playlists dedicated to your songs and he thinks he's really slick about it

♪ but you catch him when you're relaxing with him at home, music playing in the background. and you reach for his phone to change the songs

♪ tries to brush it off and play it cool ( doesn't work)

♪ his shy smile kinda gives him away, but he doesn't get defensive and kind of basks in your teasing for a little bit

♪ "you could have told me you were a fanboy.., do you want a lightstick" you hold his face in your hands

♪ " no need, I'm already your biggest fan"

Leehan

♪ doesn't hide the fact that he was your fan on purpose, he just never told you

♪ has a drawer dedicated to just your merch (I just know he's an avid keychain collector)

♪ and is subconsciously your biggest supporter because he just brings you up in every conversation he has with others

♪ so you catch him talking about your music to the rest of his members, you ended your practice early and wanted to surprise him

♪ "her vocals go crazy, I miss her so much"

♪ "we know ihan, that's all you've talked about in the last hour since the mv dropped" sungho sighs

♪ "It's just so good, I can't stop-" he stops abruptly when he feels your hand slither into his palm

♪ " Are you my unofficial promoter now?" you tease him a little bit, which has so effect because he's just so proud of you and he has no shame in that

♪ "If I don't who will?" with a light blush on his cheeks

Woonhak

♪ shy, pouty baby and defensive no.2

♪ not much of a merch collector but he has a few trinkets here and there

♪ he lowkey gives the vibes of someone who would practice fan chants, but he's kinda shy about it so he practices then when you aren't home

♪ but of course, fate does not go as planned and you catch him in the act

♪ you're kind of peeking through the crack of the door and giggling just seeing him get all excited while singing your songs

♪ "ah..! you scared me" he jumps a bit when you walk in

♪ he grabs the paper with the chants and stuffs it in his pocket, with a sheepish grin (yk the one), and his cheeks red

♪ "you should have told me woonhakie!" you pinch his cheek lightly

♪ "it was a surprise mmhm" he just wanted to surprise you at your next live performance :(

♪ you make a mental note to save him a spot at the front row of your next concert

[mysticsparklewings]

Obscutober 2024 Prompt List(s)!

Anyone got room for yet another October Prompt List? 😉

I really wasn’t feeling the Official Inktober Prompt List this year & deeply miss the Obscutober lists nikolas_tower used to post over on Instagram, so I decided to break from tradition even more than I usually do & make my own! ✨

The main idea is each prompt is an Obscure Word, but I did get a little choosy & try to put a bit of my own spin on it!

Click the "Keep Reading" and we'll talk more about the details + Definitions if you need them. ✨

⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

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Before I get into my usual long-winded description, if you want to actually follow this prompt list—Or the Lite or Weekly version—here's what you need to know:

Here's the "Official" Definition list so you don't have to spend time looking up the words yourself if you don't want to...But also, if you do want to, feel free! The "official" definitions are intended as a time-saving guideline!

The list is open to all mediums! "Typical" visual art (Digital or Traditional), Literature, Sculpture, Crafts, Coloring Pages—whatever you want!

The word itself does not have to be directly included/related to what you make; You can just take inspiration from the way it sounds or looks, or something the sticks out to you in the definition, etc.

If a word or two doesn't work for you for various reasons, feel free to swap-in a different word—Either another "obscure" word of your choosing, or a word from another prompt list that you like better.

I've provided "Lite" and Weekly versions of the list in case the full 31 is too much, but you can pick-and-choose words from the full list however you'd like if you're not crazy about the words I picked for the shorter versions, or if you want to shorten the list in a different way.

Tagging me is appreciated, but not required!

Remember that my views on these Month-Long Daily Challenges is that it's about the challenge of completing a certain amount of creative pieces in the time given...And that's pretty much it, so as long as you're doing that and having fun, I'm really not bothered about how you choose to follow the list! My Inktober motto has always been "work smarter, not harder," and this is no different!

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Well, well, Sparklers—I assume this is quite the surprise coming from me. 🤭 Both because I've been awfully quiet over the past couple of months and this is what I come back with. [And for the record, I intend to explain more about where exactly I've been in a Museletter, but I wasn't able to get it typed up and ready-to-go today; Once I get it ready I'll add the link here.]

Not that me disappearing for a while and coming back with something not necessarily expected of me is all that abnormal, but rather if you've followed me for a while, you might remember I'm not normally super-keen on everyone and their uncle's mother's brother's sister making their own Prompt Lists.

So then, Mystic, what gives? Why make your own Prompt List now?

You can thank nikolas_tower on Instagram for that, actually. 😆 Some of you might also remember that I follow his Obscutober list in October 2021, and I've also swapped in an Obscutober word a couple of times when one of the "official" Inktober words didn't work for me.

I've explained before how much I love the Obscutober concept to its core, so I won't re-hash all of that here. The important part is that I do love it, but to my great sadness, 2022 only got an abbreviated Obscutober list (2 words per week), 2023 didn't get an Obscutober list at all (though I didn't really need one for 2023 because I was busy enough as it was following two other prompt lists at once) and considering just how close we're getting now, I really sincerely doubt Nikolas has/had plans for a 2024 one. Add to that: I was not super jazzed about the official Inktober prompt list for this year. Now, don't get me wrong—I'm normally not thrilled with every single word on the list (and if you've followed my Inktobers' past, you know I say as much during the month!), but I'm not sure I've ever felt quite so unenthusiastic about the whole list before.

Additionally still, some of you might remember I did talk a little bit last year about some...struggles I supposed is the closest word, that I've had with the past couple of Inktobers I've done. And generally, I've had some ideas for really shaking up the way I handle October for the past couple of years.

While, granted, my main "shake-up" idea is totally unrelated even to this list and I never seem to be able to get the necessary prep work it would require done in time, I think the main takeaway is a I've had a low-grade yearning to do something different...but I do still want to stick to my "tradition" of handling Inktober unconventionally.

So in the end, it kinda just made sense to at least try making my own Obscutober-style list this year. It's something different and I've missed the Obscutober lists, so why not?

Worth noting that I did try to put just a little of my own spin on it in my choice of words. While already I did try to stay away from words Nikolas already used for all 4 of his Obscutobers, I also had a couple of "rules" with the words I picked:

No words that are "Obscure" purely because they're not English/aren't found in English dictionaries. For example, "Lunette" is a French word, but it appears in English dictionaries with a definition that's more than just "the French word for..."

The word must have a definition that's relatively easy to find and/or appears in well-established English Dictionaries like Dictionary.com or Merriam-Webster. This rule exists because I noticed pretty quickly a lot of "aesthetic" definition images on Pinterest either don't turn up any other reliable results that a word even exists, or the word may exist but the Pinterest definition is straight-up wrong.

No overly gross/medical/NSFW words. (This wasn't a problem with any of Nikolas' Obscutober picks, this is just a personal preference that did shape my research a bit.)

One of my problems with the Inktober list for this year is too many words feel like synonyms/too closely related, so I wanted to avoid that. A couple of words are still kind of close in the end, like "Vitrine" and "Hyaline" or "Escutcheon" and "Orphrey, but they're still more different from each other than some words that I considered and ultimately turned down. [For example, I considered "Lambent" and "Clinquant" but decided they were too close in meaning to "Scintillate."]

Likewise, aside from the theme of being Obscure, I tried not to lean to heavily on words that fit a particular theme or idea

I tried not to pick "obscure" words that have become decently well-known or popular because they're obscure. The best example is "Aglet" wasn't even considered because it's been mentioned in multiple TV shows that I know of. "Scintillate" might push that boundary a little, but it is one of my personal favorites.

I also tried to pick words that had a little variety in definition length and not pick too many that had really short definitions, which ties into my next point...

More abstractly, I tried to pick words that feel like they both lend themselves to a really solid image but also leave room for interpretation of that image. Historically I've had problems with Inktober words feeling too much like they really only fit one specific interpretation of the word or they only have so many ways to represent the idea. And on the flip side, some of Nikolas' Obscutober picks (at least when I participated in 2021) felt a little too abstract at times. Ultimately, this feeling is probably highly subjective, but I tried my best to find the right balance anyway.

While not perfectly balanced, I did try not to lean too heavily on one type of word, as in Adjectives/Nouns/Verbs. There are still less verbs overall because it was just harder to find verbs that fit what I wanted, but if I hadn't consciously paid attention there probably would've only been 1-2 verbs and like 20 adjectives.

Not really related to adding "my own spin," but also worth noting that it was also important to me to provide "Lite" and Weekly versions of the list the way that Nikolas did for Obscutober II to make it easier for people that just don't have one-thing-every-single-day kind of time to feel welcome to still participate in some way. As stated in the description for those, you can just jump around the list however you like, but I know sometimes it's just easier if someone already lays things out that way for you instead of having to remember to leave things out and such.

And then for the visual list design, I did a mixture of Nikolas' Obscutober list style and my own more typical branding elements, which ended up working out much better than I expected; I wanted the "spirit" of the list to be recognizable to fans of Nikolas' lists without being an exact copy/looking too much like I was trying to "pretend" to be him or something, and I think I landed in a pretty good place. [And in case anyone is wondering, yes I did use my own template to make the list!]

I do have to admit to you Sparklers though that despite going through all that trouble, I'm actually still not 100% sure I'll be following the list myself. 😅 I've gone back and forth over how exactly I want to handle October at all this year so much...I definitely want to (and intend to!) do a Daily Challenge, especially given how spotty my uploads have been over the last year, but I just can't seem to settle on one full-fledged plan that I'm completely satisfied with.

I do have one potential idea I'm considering that already has a very specific alternate list, but pretty much all of my other ideas would normally use the official Inktober list, and so since that list isn't on the table for me this year, and it's really looking like DeviantArt isn't doing Drawtober again this year—Which I find incredibly sad, by the way!—I need another list on-hand that I know I can use and be reasonably happy with.

And for the record, I'm being intentionally coy about that one specific idea and not sharing that list because it's highly specific and if I do decide to go that route in some way, I'd like the main idea to be a least a little bit of a surprise.

But even if I don't use this list myself, I thought at least a few other people might enjoy giving it a try. After all, I wasn't the only one that enjoyed Nikolas' Obscutobers—I originally found out about them through another person entirely. So maybe a few other people are feeling that Obscutober void, or maybe you're just a big Word Nerd™ like me, or maybe you just want something that's a little different still from a lot of the more typical alternative prompt lists that have been floating around.

So, whatever the case, here the list is (and the Lite and Weekly versions, too); Let us all do with them what we will! 😉

Before I go, I will offer an apology to anyone who's disappointed or frustrated that I'm posting the list so close to time to use it—Believe me, if I'd been 100% sure I wanted to make it in the first place sooner, I would have gotten it out much sooner, too! But I'm doing the best I still can by getting out with this very tiny 2-day cushion instead of just dropping it right on the 1st. If the list turns out to be something you Sparklers want to see again next year, I promise I'll do my best to get it out with a lot more advance notice next time!

With that, there are still two days left in September and as semi-implied already, I still have a ton to do to be anything close to ready for October, so I'll leave you Sparklers to the list and your own October plans, whatever they may be; Hope to see you all again hopefully very, very soon...! 🤗

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List Design  © me, MysticSparklewings

Obscutober Concept Inspired by nikolas_tower

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⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

[starry-iris]

I had such a cool dream about Michael tonight. I've been up for 2 hours or something trying to recreate how he looked like in my dream. The drawings are at the end of the post, please read the dream before looking at them, because my art skills don't match what I saw in the dream.

In it, I first saw everything from the first point of view. I woke up on the street, under a pizzeria on the main street of my city. It was dark outside, the sky was completely black and I barely could see anything. It was so late that even the street lights were turned off. I saw a man closing the last shop that was located inside an avenue nearby. He was switching off the last bit of light.

I had no possessions on me, they were all left behind In a pizzeria (maybe I fell asleep there, and was kicked out when it was closing, I'm not entirely sure). It was cold outside as if it was early autumn. I had no coat, and I might have had no shoes on me.

I walked to my bus stop and looked at the tabloid that announced bus times. My bus was due, and it arrived almost immediately. It was a big coach, the one that only goes outside of the city. It was almost full, and it seemed like there were no free seats left.

I stumbled inside, I felt very weak in my legs. The bus started to move, and I said to the driver, while still on the stairs "Sorry, I have no money, I cannot pay you, but I really need to get home". Other passengers looked at me with judgment, but the bus driver was quiet for a second and then gestured for me to sit beside him, on the last unoccupied seat.

Then my point of view switched, and I was watching Michael talking to a bus driver from my seat. Possibly I was Michael all along.

He was dressed in a light blue button-up shirt, not exactly the one you would see on a blue-collar worker, but something softer and more casual looking. He was dressed too lightly for such a late and cold night. He looked as if he was from a well-drawn cartoon. His hair was as usual, golden and wavy, one of his eyes blue. His right eye looked blind, with a red pupil, and the iris was much lighter than his seeing eye.

He looked all lost and confused. He claimed he had a very bad memory, and that he just got unlucky, falling asleep and ending up in the town that late.

But once the bus moved outside of the city, he changed. He started to smile, and tell the bus driver everything he knew would get him to listen, and everything to get under his skin. That facade of a poor lost soul was gone. He made sure that the bus driver would want to go to seek help in the Institute, and he spoke as if John was already listening to him. He said "I know what you are looking for" to the Archivist.

Some time had gone by, and the bus arrived at Michael's stop. It was a tiny village, with barely any houses. He smiled, and looked at the bus driver, with a sticker of a smiley face covering his seeing eye. He stared at him for a moment, until the dream abruptly ended.

Here's the attempts to recreate the last scene and more "innocent" version of him.

I also want to put some examples that capture the art style better. Also, if anyone who can draw better than me wants to draw this, PLEASE DO IT, I'M GOING CRAZY OVER NOT BEING ABLE TO DRAW HIM LIKE HE WAS IN THE DREAM, I NEED THIS ART TO EXIST IN REAL LIFE

Art by @thoriffix

It captures how cartoons the style was

And this art by @marshallmigraine

And this one captures the proportions and generally how he looked like.

Note: he had no distortions besides that smiley face on his eye in the end. And the smiley face looked like it was plastered on top in photoshop

[dedolubka]

Guys! I need help from the fandom. I want to draw a series of art with the high lords of all the courts. The task is difficult because there is very little information about them in the text. Here are my suggestions/headcanons: Spring Court - Because of my headcanons I'm going to have to redesign Tamlin. Britain 17th century, Renaissance, Shakespeare (anyone surprised?)

Summer Court - I thought for a long time, but decided to offer the image of Ptolemaic Kingdom. Closest to the reign of Cleopatra. And a bit of fantasy sea... I think.

Autumn Court - I wanted to suggest Ireland, but sjm said otherwise. It's not clear from the names, Lucien, Beron, Eris - different names of different cultures. So France of the 15th century. I can't think of a better one.

Winter Court - Norway, vikings. These guys are crazy enough to ride polar bears! Their women are also on equal footing with the men (Vivienne served on the border).

Day Court - Babylonia. Babylonia was conquered by both Persians and Greeks at different times. That's why it suits Hellion. In addition, sciences were widely developed in Babylonia and special attention was paid to magic. Symbolic.

Dawn Court - DAMN IT I WAITED FOR THIS... I mean /clears throat/ the wuxia genre did everything for me. The main thing is to decide on the era. And add a bit of Clockwork City from TESO

Night Court - I don't fucking know (；￣Д￣) Seriously, I have no idea. Velaris looks like New York. Hewn City is like a drow city, only with a patriarchy. Illyrian....no comments yet. Can someone tell me how they could come up with such a pile? I need help here, I don't know what to draw

I didn't even try to fit everything into one time frame. It's impossible. But I tried to get into the character of each region. Please note that the movie stills are just a rough idea of ​​what I want to incorporate into the designs!If anyone has any good ideas, I'd love to hear them! (⌒_⌒)

[purgemarchlockdown]

Autism and Amane

(CWs: Ableism, Child Abuse, Cults)

(Note: This is mostly based on personal experience and stories I’ve heard from other autistic people.)

It’s a bit of an understatement to say that I love Amane Momose. She’s my favorite character in the series, and I think about her constantly. It’s why I have this blog, I thought about her too much that I needed to write it out somehow.

A personal favorite headcanon of mine is the idea that Amane is Autistic. Mostly cause I’m autistic and I like head-canoning characters who I like with it. So now I'm just explaining why I find this reading of her character compelling.

Right and Wrong

There's no doubt about it that Amane is someone who is heavily constrained by rules and standards, and she expresses frustration towards certain rules in subtle or obvious ways throughout Milgram.

For example, the flag for vulgarity is the only one that is laying down on the ground in Purge March, something that is usually a sign for disrespect.

Implying that this is the rule that Amane breaks the most, something that is consistent with a lot of the other information we know about Amane. Since it seems like a lot of the things she finds enjoyable (cute outfits, amusement parks, performance art) are either neutered to the point of being boring or outright banned.

Outside of that, Amane doesn't operate on the rules of "normal" society. She operates on her own rules. Rules that are molded by the cult but still Her Rules. She does not care much for acting in ways that would be considered normal to people, and has stated that she is alright with that.

(T2 Amane VD)

Amane: Aren’t we the same? Me and Warden-san. You know, I’m aware that I’m out of the ordinary. That my environment was peculiar, and that everyone [else] is normal. Es: Amane… Amane: In fact, there have been people who said that to me. I’ve been told things like, “You’re being deceived.” “You can still make it right now.” “You’re crazy.” Es: … A: You are treating me as a child after all. Because I’m a child, you believe that I must have been brainwashed. It’s not like that. I, too— children, too, understand everything! Please don’t just decide that people must be unhappy.

While this is influenced by her abuse and her justification of it, even before this Amane has been very consistent on repeating this idea that she does not mind not being considered normal and is not going to change how she acts just because other people said she should, for better or for worse.

22/04/19 (Futa’s Birthday)

Amane: ……I’m fine. I don’t know what you’ve done or what it is you’re worried about, but I think if there’s something you believe in, you should stay true to it. It’s not something that should waver just because other people said something. I personally don’t plan on changing my own beliefs even if I’m told I’m wrong either……

That isn't to say Amane Doesn't operate by rules, she does, to an extreme extent even. Something that is even shown above.

But she operates on rules she personally believes makes Sense. If she does not agree with a rule she believes to be nonsensical she will express that. If she does she'll follow it to the letter, even if it harms her or someone else.

21/06/27 (Amane’s Birthday)

Shidou: Amane, I heard it was your birthday today. I asked Es-kun if we could get this cake to give to you…… Amane: I don’t need it. I’ll gratefully accept your well-wishes, but I don’t eat things like that. Also…… Shidou-san, I can’t say I’m especially fond of the way you assume that all children will love frivolous things like this. Shidou: ………… Is that so… I apologise. I’m sure everyone else will be happy to eat it, so don’t worry about it. Sorry for intruding. Amane: ………… ……cake……

She's very inflexible and dogmatic in that sense. But not just because of her cult. As stated she seems to disagree with her cult's view on vulgar things, and seems to have broken that rule multiple times before in the past and has gotten punished for it.

Not only that but she is insistent on certain ideas of "rightness" that are Outside of her cults worldview. For example, she consistently reiterates that children also have feelings and agency, to the point that's her Major focus in her T1 VD. Not her religion, not her crime, but her feelings about agency. The idea was just too important to her to simply let go.

Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat same food every day).

What is a promise, if not a rule you swear to follow?

Good Interests

Now I would personally love to argue she has a special interest in religion as someone who was a kid with a Catholicism special interest (trauma is weird) but I don't think I have enough ground to argue that interpretation.

What I can argue, is a performance art special interest.

Amane seems to be deeply invested in performing arts. While it is a metaphor for how she's performing for her family and cult, outside of that she seems to actually show a genuine interest in it.

Amane is a bit of a critic. She seems to be a choirgirl that hates the songs she's singing.

T1Q14: Do you listen to music? A: Not really to songs that are highly entertaining.

Which implies that she knows what songs she Does find entertaining, and also that as established before Amane likes looking cute and pretty. She keeps on dressing herself in her MVs in cute outfits, and there is even a minigram about her being self-concussion about her hair and then getting it styled.

There's a Sincerity in these aesthetics, it really seems like Amane Enjoys Performing as an art form. The way she portrays her revenge is not her Stopping the performance, but for the marching band to break from the routine and to go full force into the "real world."

Not only that, but when Mikoto mentions he's an art student. Amane immdieatly asks him if he's good at drawing. The entire conversation shifting from their discussion about studies but about art.

20/07/15

Amane: It’s fine. If there are any words I don’t understand I can look them up later. An arts university, though…… Does that mean you’re good at drawing, then? It may be a bit rude to say, but that’s rather unexpected.

Her critic side even pops up here. Being surprised someone so "normal" seeming would be an art student.

It also seems like TV was a way for her to cope with her situation, judging by the final shot of Magic.

This stuff is so Important to her that it bleeds in Everywhere. Even when she tries to hide it to seem more like a "good girl." The visual ideas of performing arts and music come through.

As mentioned above, it seems like these interests were considered "vulgar" by her cult. It's not something a "good girl" like her should like.

It's something...abnormal.

Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).

Normalcy

Amane is not as good of a girl as she wants us to believe or wants herself to believe. She knows it. She knows it too well.

Dear wise one, Am I worthy? Is it ok to spoil myself? I promise! A pinky promise is a pinky promise!

She's promising that she'll follow the rules this time. Promising that she'll be a "good girl." A status that gets her a modicum amount of respect and safety.

If you become a bad girl, monsters will come out This is the magic that stops that from happening

However, there's a sense of impossibility to become one, as if she was made Unable to fulfill the arbitrary conditions that were set by the people around her. Amane can only pretend to be a good girl, to...mask as one per-say. But she cannot Be One.

Only if, only if, only if I could be a good girl

Amane has been masking for basically her entire life, to various levels of success. To blend into the cult, and to seem "normal" in their eyes.

Except, she's inherently Unable to be one. It's not something about herself that she can change. To turn Amane into a good girl is to make Amane into something that isn't herself.

Amane isn't Human in the eyes of her cult, she isn't good enough to be one, she wasn't born in a way that allows for her to be Respected as one.

She's even Represented by The Cat in Magic.

Her feelings of pain and anger and isolation by being different are given to something inhuman. And since this is Amane's MV, this is partially an acknowledgement that she is not good enough to be a human

Not only that, but even in the prison she's isolated. The way she speaks is surprising for a child so the people around her aren't sure how to interact with her, and her unwillingness to act in a "proper" way gets certain people (Shidou) upset.

However, she doesn't seem to even view her seeming inhumanity as a bad thing.

Amane is consistently more frustrated at people not understanding her than her not understanding them. She cares about her feelings because no one cared to adjust to Hers. She cares about asserting her agency because if she does she'll be infantalized.

Because, In spite of everything, Amane deeply loves herself.

T2Q20: How do you feel about you not being like everyone else? Nevertheless I was born as myself, so I'm happy.

Conclusion

I wrote this post partially cause I was inspired by this really good Dunmeshi analysis of Laios' autistic frustration. Which made me go "Wow I should do that but with Amane." So I did.

There's so much I can talk about really, but to me. Amane is a character who is in a world Hostile to who she is. Stuck between having to pretend to be "normal" for her own safety and hating having to do it because it's sickening and confining. Where her interests are controlled or considered "abnormal" meaning she is unable to indulge in them. Where the people around her can either demonize her or infantalize her for not fitting the standards they hold her to.

And, maybe it's just me. But I personally relate a lot to that, and I think there's something really amazing about how she's still able to love herself in spite of it all.

(And, I also think she's trans but that's a whole other discussion.)

[sophie-looks-at-stuff]

Some random modern HotD headcanons :)

Hey y’all! So I kept thinking of some funny, and very specific headcanons for the HotD characters, so I decided to just make it a whole post. This will actually be my first “legit” post on here, lol! Anyways, this will include some headcanons about Aemond, Aegon II, Luke, Jace, Daemon, Rhaenyra, Helaena, etc. But hope y’all enjoy lol! :)

Ok, I am convinced that Aemond has a secret stash of tea hidden somewhere. He's even put them all in a very nice ornate, antique box. It's his guilty pleasure. He probably would have some Earl Gray, English Breakfast, maybe even some lavender mint for the evenings. He'd keep it secret because all the teas he's gotten are way too expensive, and special.

Luke is an avid Minecraft gamer. Like he's basically built Dragonstone, and the Red Keep in his server. He'll play sometimes with Jace, or maybe even Aegon. But he doesn't let them into that world. Aegon would probably blow it all up with TnT.

Speaking of gaming, I think some people are on the same page that Aegon would be some kind of gamer. He'd be up to date on all the new systems and gadgets. He'd be one of the firsts to have the PS5 when it came out. He probably plays a lot of Call of Duty. Maybe even some Valorant when he doesn't wanna fire up the PS. He'd definitely be cursing and yelling at the game, to the point where Alicent threatens to take it away.

While Rhaenyra watches her shows, House Wives, Rupaul's Drag Race, etc. Daemon pretends to be not interested, but really he's super invested. He'd be leaning against the couch, or the wall totally sucked in. And when Rhaenyra tells him to just sit down and watch with her, he's all like, "no no I don't even like this show". But then he'd say things like, "Well maybe if her gown was better made she wouldn't have been eliminated last episode".

Aegon gives me frat boy energy. And I know I'm not the first to say that lol. You already know he's planning all the parties, and picking the themes. I like to think he'd be very invested into picking the themes. They would be things like, dragon night, wear your fave dragon scale colors. Or something like, Dragonstone beach night, wear your swim suits and flip flops.

Alicent likes to knit. Or maybe crochet? It's her stress reliever activity after dealing with Aegon, and the rest of the boys. Helaena is always giving her new patterns or designs to try.

I think Alicent also likes to take the occasional Buzzfeed quiz. "If you were a cake flavor, here's what you'd be based on your star sign".

Helaena runs a very successful tik tok account. She'd post her outfits, and maybe some art or cool bugs she's found.

Aegon listens to a lot of Megan Thee Stallion and Kim Petras. He's blasting Kim Petras' Treat me like a Slut at least 5 times a day. He gets ready to it in the morning.

Aemond will get down to some Amy Winehouse.

Jace works at the local animal shelter as his summer job. He only got the job cause Rhaenyra said he needed to get out of the house. Plus Helaena also works there, so she helped him get hired.

Aemond would be a great bartender. Not with like actually interacting with customers, but he can make some great drinks. Like he's over here coming up with all these crazy cocktails. Although, like his tea obsession he keeps this on the low. He doesn't want Aegon asking him to make drinks all the time. Gods forbid he asks Aemond to bartend at one of the frat parties.

Helaena was a Monster High girl growing up.

Aemond has a motorcycle. It was his one rebellious purchase. Alicent hates it.

Luke can kick Aegon's ass in any game, video or otherwise. You name it, Call of Duty, UNO, Valorent, Go fish...

Rhaenyra has a bit of a sweet tooth, but she has to hide her candy stash, cause the boys will steal it in a heartbeat. Who would have thought Daemon would love lemon drops so much.

I really could go on forever, these are just too fun to write. But I'll leave it here for now lol.

[bluginkgo]

"Nice Corpse House My Guy" Remastered Behind Scenes!

The most glaring and obviously annoying thing that's evident in this comic- if you even wanna call it that- are the god forsaken BACKGROUNDS. There was a lot of experimentation going on for backgrounds here. Because the first couple pictures, THAT is what I used to draw backgrounds as. Trees are sticks and grass is flat. I realized that wasn't gonna cut it. I didn't like it at all. So I started experimenting and boy was it messy. It finally sorta settled on the style by the end of the comic. I'm still unhappy with it, but it'll have to do for now.

Here's a small comparison

One thing that I ran into was how I was gonna show that N was in his "killer mode." I could have placed the X's over the pupils, but found it unnatural looking in my style. So instead, it was settled to a concentrated light in the pupils.

Best seen between these two. The second N snaps out of it, the X/light in his pupils disappears, and the normal light returns to his eyes, which is similar to Uzi's.

Another thing I started slowly including was Uzi's little tooth on her beak.

The jutting out portion on her beak is a personal touch. Although it doesn't really matter, I included it to separate her from the rest of the "worker drones." Seen as she's an absolute solver host and has a solver form, something was going to creep up in her crow design, hence the little teeth. Doll would have them too, given I draw her in the form I've been thinking about.

Another thing I ran into, was WHAT WAS UZI GONNA TAKE N DOWN WITH?! This is a bird vs. a dog! No way was a bird gonna decommission a whole dog! Then this scene came up in my recent rewatch of Murder Drones.

And it clicked. Loooong long time ago, I had a very specific hyperfixation: birds. One thing I learned that some pigeons do, was they're capable of doing a somersault. And in mid-air, too!

I was finally set. The SICK AS HELL RAILGUN was downgraded to a simple piece of shiny glass/pebble that attracted Uzi- and crows love shiny things. And the same pebble will be used to launch at N's sensor that made him trip over. Because I was also not going to draw N doggo losing his head. I love gorey and bloody shows and art- hence why I watched Murder Drones- but I honestly had no idea how to recreate that, and I suck at drawing gore in general, I mean, did you SEE the crow N was chewing on? That was my best try honestly.

Here are some progress shots and how the layers worked in the scene where N is bonked with a stick.

As per usual, start with a sketch, this is actually 2nd sketch. The first is much rougher, just some circles and random shapes to outline his body form.

Then, this is all outlined and rendered. Along with some additions like the stick and the little rock.

The background was the hardest, aside from some weird angles I picked to draw Uzi and N at. I suck at backgrounds, like I've mentioned many times before. So, this needed a lot of testing and experimenting. Most of this works because I found some cool brushes to use. But aside from that, I honestly still don't like how it looks. It's slightly better than my stick trees and flat grass though, I guess.

Put it all together, add a black layer to simulate nighttime, put some lights to show moonlight through trees and voila, you've got an N doggo that got bonked by a stick! I see this project/comic mostly as practice and testing. Background testing mostly, and some brushes. The background/brush testing actually spilled over into another post of the solver Uzi I made a bit back. I'd say I was pretty happy how it turned out, but brush wise, I was going to test around a little more.

NUzi comic 'Sleep' is my next project. Uhhh, don't ask me when I'm gonna have it out, I have no idea. I'm guessing sometime end of Jan and beginning of Feb. But that might be delayed seeing as Murder Drones ep7 should be out sometime soon too, so I'll need to go crazy about that for a bit and then I'll go back to my usual thing ^_^ 'Sleep' will take place still between the Pilot and Heartbeat.

P.S. I have all 26 pages story boarded... good god what happened to the 'mini' part of the comic 😭

Anyways, why are you still here?! Have a cookie ^_^ you made it! Have a nice day now, bye bye <3

[genericpuff]

A theory as crazy as it is profound in a silly r/im14andthisisdeep kinda way

So there's this conspiracy theory of sorts that's been whispered within the ULO discord and subreddit the last little bit. I don't think anyone's made an outright statement on it yet but it's definitely something people have been casually talking about in the comment sections and chatrooms, mostly as a joke, but also as a thought experiment.

And that thought experiment is concerning the notion that Lore Olympus could very well have become a poorly-made AI comic.

Not necessarily the art, as we've already dissected the art process plenty of times before and it points to Rachel simply being bad at team management and using her mismanaged team as a way to circumvent any real effort on her own part.

But the writing. There's just something about Lore Olympus' writing that's become incredibly stiff, boring, and alien.

Disclaimer before I continue: this is a tinfoil hat theory, and a lot of the points I'm about to discuss can be easily proven with far more reasonable explanations, so take it with mountains of salt. That said, I do think it's something worth talking about as we're currently in an era of mass AI-takeover in the art and writing scene, and let's face it, Lore Olympus nowadays really does feel like it's either being written by an alien, or an amalgamation of possessed animatronic endoskeletons wearing a human skinsuit. So viewer beware, this post is full of speculation and tinfoil hat wearing, read at your own discretion and don't take everything I'm about to say 100% seriously.

Let's get started.

THE TONE OF VOICE

This is where that whole "animatronic wearing a skinsuit" vibe really shines, so I figured it would be where I'd start. Lore Olympus... does not feel human. It's dialogue often feels stilted and scripted, none of the characters have any sense of personal voice, and it often feels like the dialogue is coming straight out of a sterilized Wikipedia article.

There are also often times when characters will say one thing only to be responded to with an entirely other thing. It comes across as randomly generated, like the dialogue is being created based off a script that is only given prompts as to where it needs to end up - so everything between Point A and Point B ends up feeling like non-sequitur filler at best and outright nonsense at worst.

In fact, there can be better tone of voice and dialogue found in the legitimate AI conversations of Lore Olympus themed ChatGPT bots.

And this is a bot that's self-aware it's a bot, so it definitely has that going for it.

The more likely explanation: Rachel's bad at writing. She's planning these episodes maybe 2 weeks ahead at a time at best so she's just throwing dialogue in to keep readers spending money and meet her panel quotas. Her characters have no voice because they aren't, in and of themselves, characters. She hasn't given them any depth beyond their appearance and she clearly has next to no understanding of writing outside her own headspace (and her actual headspace as we've seen is... yikes) so it's not surprising that her dialogue-writing is on par with Shenmue 3. And Shenmue 3 is a game with real human-written dialogue that exists so it's not a stretch that something like LO's bad writing could be entirely the fault of a human either LOL

THE NARRATIVE INCONSISTENCIES

It seems since the start of S2.2 (post-mid-season hiatus which starts us off with the 10 year time skip) narrative inconsistencies and plotholes have become far more egregious, sometimes contradicting itself within the same episode. Almost like scenes are just happening from single idea prompts and no actual structure underneath the surface.

The more likely explanation: Just like the first point about stilted dialogue, this could easily be chalked up to Rachel just not committing to goal-oriented writing. She doesn't have any sort of end point planned for any of these plotlines, she just drags them out until she can finally think of a way to resolve them, if she even resolves them (many often aren't resolved, or are simply left as a "yep, that's it, moving on" type ending, ex. Eros and Psyche).

STRANGE SYNTAX AND CONSTANT TYPOS

This goes hand in hand with the first point about stilted dialogue, but part of what makes everything feel so stiff and robotic is how often the sentences are structured in very... odd ways. From the lack of contractions that make sentences feel less natural-

-to the strange choice of words that no human being in a modern setting would ever use (and LO is, again, set in a modern setting and is trying to portray the gods as being 'just like us')-

-to the numerous typos and spelling errors.

(there are so many I could post here but the "his deam" one always makes me laugh lmao)

It really feels like a lot of these sentences were pulled straight out of Twitter or a Wikipedia article. As a result, it never feels like these characters are talking to each other, but at each other.

As for the typos, at this point, Rachel really has no excuse for how frequent they are. Fortunately, she has hired a copy editor recently which seems to have mitigated these errors, but if there were a bot involved, it wouldn't be farfetched to think that the bot would also make spelling mistakes and stilted dialogue if it's been trained off Rachel's past material which is, y'know... full of spelling mistakes and stilted dialogue.

The more likely explanation: It's a well known fact that Rachel has dyslexia, so I'm not going to fault her for struggling with spelling things right. None of this is to shame people who struggle with dyslexia and reading disorders. But the fact of the matter is, Rachel is a multi-million dollar creator in the year 2023 where spellcheck exists. It's wild that she's only now taken on a copy editor. Literally any of her assistants that she's had for the last few years could have done that for her. It's great that she's hired a copy editor but it feels like too little too late. That isn't going to fix the stilted dialogue, either, which just comes down to, yet again, Rachel being a bad writer. And possibly a series of animatronic endoskeletons hiding in a human skinsuit.

REACTING TO CRITICISM

The irony of this post is that it asks not to take every speculation I write here seriously because it's just that, speculation, and we shouldn't get carried away with conspiracy theories... which is exactly the sentiment we had back when we initially suspected Rachel of spying in the criticism groups, which turned out to be true. It's basically public knowledge at this point that Rachel lurks in the criticism groups, thanks to both testimonials from others who have been in groups who got hijacked by Rachel (see: Broseidon's Palace of Fishposting) and the 'clapbacks' in LO that are clearly meant for the audience.

But it's wild to think that Rachel would really spend time in criticism groups when she's said it herself that she "doesn't like criticism". And considering she already spends an absurd amount of time on social media, it would be really ridiculous if she was still finding time to also lurk in the critic groups and concoct ways to 'get back' at them.

Unless, of course, there was a bot parsing criticism hashtags like #antiloreolympus and #loreolympuscritical. I can personally attest to the fact that Rachel must be subscribed to hashtags in some capacity because I've had Lore Olympus fanart (way back in the day when it was actual fanart and not foe-art) get retweeted by Rachel herself literally seconds after posting. So either Rachel is just constantly refreshing the search feed all day, or she's directly fed tweets and posts with the hashtags she's subscribed to.

The more likely explanation: Rachel literally just spends an absurd amount of time on social media and considering she clearly only involves herself in the beginning and end process of drawing her comic - and only has a buffer 1-2 weeks ahead of time - she's definitely got plenty of time on her hands to lurk and hurt her own feelings in the criticism spaces. She could also just have her mods sending things to her as well. Either way it's icky behavior and I wish she'd do herself and her mental health a favor and just stay out of the fandom spaces, they aren't for her, they're for the fans.

HOW IS IT GETTING WORSE?

Consider everything I've laid out here. Remember that Lore Olympus is a comic that's been in development since 2017, and in the Originals catalogue since 2018. Its Originals version turned 5 years old in March and technically LO is well into the 6-7 year age range in total. It's absolutely absurd that after all these years, not only has the story fallen apart, but the art has lost the quality it once had. Comics are a medium that encourage improvement, you're drawing lots and typically the same characters and settings over and over again, it's natural progression to get better at doing it over time. And yet, Rachel seems to be getting worse at it, and her involvement in the comic seems to be shrinking with each year.

Of course, improvement is optional. Not every comic gets better over time. Which brings me to my final piece on this matter.

The most likely explanation: Rachel is burnt out and not interested in LO anymore. This is the longest project she's ever done, and while it's not the first webcomic she's done on a schedule, it is the first one that's made it further than a handful of chapters (The Doctor Pepper Show ended after about 1-2 years, not even making it to 10 chapters). She even stated herself in the beginning that LO was a project she'd "never finish".

While it is a testament to how far LO has come from its humble beginnings, I think it also serves as a precautionary tale - success can come at the expense of your happiness and integrity if you've trapped yourself in a project that no longer fulfills you.

Rachel's never finished a long-term project, and at this rate, it's hard to say when she will. As well known as it is that she has dyslexia, it's also well known that she has ADHD, and speaking as an ADHD creator myself, I can fully empathize with and understand that webcomics are hard to create, and get more exhausting to see through with each passing chapter. There's a reason not everyone does long-term comics like this, they're incredibly hard to manage and require a lot of commitment. Even I've found my commitment to current projects wavering as the honeymoon phase has worn off and I've sunk into the reality that is monotonous work, panel after panel, episode after episode, deadline after deadline.

If Rachel were a more experienced creator and more self-aware of her own limitations and work methodology back in 2018, Lore Olympus likely would have never been dragged out this long. She may have gotten the chance to finish it while she was still happy with it, or at least leave it behind when she was ready to move on. While I'm sure the allure of signing on with Originals felt worth it at the time - especially when we didn't know yet just how exploitative Webtoons was - it clearly hasn't benefitted her in the long run because it's tethered her to a project that she never felt wholly dedicated to in the first place. A project that's now less about telling a story and connecting with an audience and more about generating clicks and revenue.

She can claim all she wants in her interviews that Persephone and Hades were her "muses" as a child, but the writing is on the wall - LO was a passing fancy that stuck around too long after its heartbeat gave out.

What it's become now is an endoskeleton on life support, made up of statistics and analytics, struggling to stay alive from inside of a colorful but rotting skinsuit that only barely resembles a living thing.

[klowncrunch]

All right I just need to be insane. About my music playlist and also my rat grinders playlist. Which I will never leak to the public

This is one that should be pretty self-explanatory, though it's not explored in Canon because cowardice.(Joking) I constantly think about the fact that both Oisin And Ivy remember BITS AND PIECES of junior year whereas Ruben remembers nothing. Can you imagine the uncomfortable distance that is placed between all of them. Both of them being afraid of both making Reuben remember the things he did. And Ruben remembering the things they did.

Also especially if the assumption that how willing they were to give into their own rage is how much they remember. Oh boy Lord.

Also I just cannot imagine that Ruben isn't at least somewhat traumatized from the Wanda Childa dreams because objectively that shit is mental torture. If someone came into my dreams as the person who perpetrated torment against me. And told me that I need to take the fall for it I think I would need therapy forever actually.

I'm literally taking a chill pill art wise so I can have enough energy in July to absolutely go crazy with an a rat grinders animatic to this song because God damn it do I love Tyler the creator so much. AND I LOVVVVEEE THE RATGRINDERS!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THESE LOSERS!!!!

Buddy dawns murder. Must I explain further. I mean I will. One of the background vocals is "there wasn't any other way" and that ABSOULTELY makes me think of KipperLilly. But also the fact that the helioic faith is so extremely one note!! There's only one path for the followers to take and that is for them to get prepared to die. Being "lamb to slaughter" in that way.

Kipperlily Copperkettle you deserve so much better. I think a lot of people disregard the fact that especially when you're a teenager. These negative feelings can boil up to the point that you resort to apathy and rage as your main emotions. It feels like an all-consuming black hole. And you are searching for a solution. And you are searching for company. You're searching for someone who's willing to suffer with you. To be in the same boat as you and to understand you. And I think in some way Kipperlily did that especially with Lucy. I am a firm believer in the idea that she had Lucy killed because she wanted a person who would understand her like that. To me at least it feels like Kipperlily was trying to form that sort of connection with the entire party. But only really found it with Lucy. Even despite her efforts. I love you complicated woman

Also entirely off topic I think ivy would enjoy Chappell roan. Ratgrinders have a girls night + Mazey and ivy is putting the WORK in. Kipperlilly will not admit it but shes having a good time and Lucy's clapping along to the best of Hot to go. I think these girls deserve a night to enjoy themselves. No one expects it but Mary Ann DOES indeed know all the words to red wine supernova.

[burstfoot]

I'm still pretty new to Arknights, what's the thing with the bad alt? :o

Okay so back in 2021, Hypergryph had their first summer event that had a limited-run unit - for this banner, the big shiny unit was Ch’en the Holungday, who was controversial for numerous reasons:

First off, Arknights is supposed to be a fairly grim and serious story, and turning Ch’en, one of the stories main characters at the time during Arc 1 into a lazy swimsuit character seemed both out of character for her and like an easy cash grab by the devs.

To double on how silly she is, her codename is just a pun of her race (lung) and the word Holiday - a real tone shift to her grim story in Arc 1.

At that time, people only expected the CNY and two anniversary limited banners per year, and adding an extra limited banner frustrated people because it was very obviously trying to get people to break the bank through FOMO.

Secondly, Ch’en alter’s E2 artwork is really bad. Her E0 artwork is maybe a little revealing for Ch’en but is fairly tame for gacha swimsuit standards, but in her E2 art she’s in nothing but a minuscule bikini - though, most of the people in a fuss didn’t really care about that, they cared that her face looked really bad, drawing a lot of comparisons that she looked like Blaze instead of Ch’en. This led to them having to update her art in game! (Old artwork on the left.)

Third, she was crazy busted at the time, sometimes called the best unit in the game - having high damage, high defense shred, a passive slow while her skill was active and her skill being ammo-based, so you could often just set it and forget it without having to time skill activations. Her kit is also relatively uninspired - her first two skills are really just less powerful versions of her third skill, in my opinion, though I don’t know if that’s a common complaint.

Time has been a bit more kind to her - with Lone Trail, she got this beautiful L2D skin pictured above! As well, as alter shenanigans get more silly with dual-alter banners like So Long, Adele and limited alters of limited units like Wis’adel, her initial drama doesn’t seem as big of a deal. At this point, summer banners seem more or less normal.

Also, powercreep has gotten out of hand that she really isn’t that viable of a unit anymore - she does do good damage, but Młynar does better damage, has a passive taunt and massive HP pool, and almost costs 3x less to deploy than she does. I wouldn’t even really say she’s a top ten unit anymore, maybe not even top 20 - you just don’t see her used often much anymore so she’s mostly forgotten about! But I did use her to clear Big Sad Lock and some other fights in Chapter 8 & 9, so she’s served me well.

One last fun fact: she’s getting a module with the upcoming Nymph event, but her first talent has been bugged and doubled the listed effect since she was released, to the point that her 5th potential actually doesn’t upgrade her talent at all (Exu has a similar thing with her S3 being bugged and being significantly more powerful than it’s supposed to be).

What’s really funny though is that her module’s second upgrade changed it to be what it actually does in the code, but they didn’t go back and fix this bug or anything so her second module upgrade literally only changes the displayed text and nothing about her actual stats. If you want an actual upgrade to her talent you need to upgrade it to level 3!!