#i'm also glad i work at the only hospital in town big enough to HAVE a parking garage

[magefeathers]

weather wasn't bad enough to warrant me calling out of work (unfortunate) but Man I Did Not Like Driving In That!

I'm glad I left when I did though because now I'm sitting in the parking garage at work watching it rain and it is 10x worse than while I was driving :')

[lostbetweenvampiresandmusic]

Changes chapter 50

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Michael was quiet as he drove Sam home, ignoring the hundreds of questions his brother was asking. Sam had almost killed his cousin. He shook his head, focusing on the road in front of him. The sun was slowly setting already, and by the time he parked on the drive way it was fully dark.

He turned the engine off, sighing deeply.

"What the fuck was all that, Mike?"

"That was Julie."

"She is dead, Dad said so himself." He repeated himself, Michael thought bitterly. Maybe it was the stress from what happened in the cave, or it was that he didn't listen to the answer. But, Michael sighed, Sam had definitely asked this before.

"Really? You believe what dad said?" Michael shook his head. "He lied. She's alive."

"She's a bloodsucker."

Michael nodded. "It's the only reason I think why she's still alive. Something bad happened to her, Sammy."

"Wasn't it her choice, like, didn't she just run away from home?"

"Apparently not," Michael got out of the car, noticing a shiny red car parking behind his. The man who he had seen working in the videostore, the man who had captured his mothers heart and saved his cousin - the head vampire, he realised.

"Is your mother home?" Max asked, noticing the dishevelled state both boys were in. Sam nodded.

"Is he a vampire too, Mike? Did we really move into a town crawling with bloody vampires?" Sam hissed, causing Max to chuckle.

"He is."

"Why don't we go inside, I have a lot to tell you three."

Michael led him in, calling Lucy downstairs. Grandpa, even though he had a natural dislikment towards the undead, joined the group as well.

"What's this about, Max?" Lucy asked as she placed a tray with cups and tea down on the coffee table.

"I need to tell you about what happened to Julie, or at least, the big picture. She has been through a lot, and she is no longer the girl you remembered. But," he sighed, realising he couldn't explain quite yet how he knew for certain, "I am fairly sure that you are her family. And you need to know."

"I thought I'd seen her around," Grandpa mumbled, popping an oreo in his mouth. Lucy looked at him with a questioning look. "Why did you never say anything?"

"Because I haven't been certain until now."

"Did you kidnap her?!" Sam asked, interrupting his grandfather.

"I did not. I gave her shelter. She was taken to a facility, called COL. The Company of Life."

"You-" Julie was quiet as she looked at David, feeling so very conflicted about what she should feel. Pain and hatred for the way he treated her, for the way he killed her friend. Or grateful that he cared, that he cared enough to not only protect her but also protect her mother, whom she had been dying to find. Julie didn't know when she had started to cry, but when David brushed some thick, red tears away, she held onto him tightly.

She had missed him.

"I have to ask, Max," Lucy said as she walked to the kitchen, leaving her father and sons behind. "Did you become close to me in order to help Julie, or was there maybe more?"

"I won't lie, Lucy," he said, placing his cup in the sink, "when I figured out the chances of you being related to her, I did want to get closer. But I always knew I needed to get to know you better."

Lucy chuckled, hiding her blush behind her hand as she looked at him.

"Thank you for being honest," she smiled before turning solemn, "and thank you for saving Julie. God, losing her voice like that must have been horrible. And turning? She went through so much."

"That's why I'm glad she is getting to know you again. With a full family I doubt she'd ever be in pain again."

Lucy nodded. "I need to tell my sister. She's in a mental hospital right now, and - it's not going to be easy to tell her. I need proof," she said, thinking about asking Julie to write a letter to her mom, or maybe take a picture, "and -" she paused, "I would really like it if you were to join me. We can travel at night, and the facility where she stays has late visiting hours."

Max smiled, appreciating the instant consideration this woman was showing him. "I would love to go along with you," he said, "I'm very curious to meet Julie's mom."

Days passed, and the summer breeze made place for an icy autumn storm. Julie had spent several days in the cave, reconnecting with the boys and actually having a somewhat civil conversation with Star. Twice.

Both times were met with the boys staring at the girls in utter confusion. Mind you, the two of them would never become friends, this they both realised, but they found an understanding once David had explained how Star had - technically, according to David - a part in keeping Julie safe.

Things were slowly turning back to normal. Julie spent some nights at home with Max, always sleeping the most comfortable if Thorn was curled up next to her. Sometimes, she chose to stay with the boys. She and Marko would practice her fighting skills, Paul dared her to step out of her comfort zone and get on rides she'd normally ignore, David had taken up teaching her how to drive ever since Max became more busy with the store, and Dwayne was there for her whenever she began to explore more undiscovered vampire skills.

All in all, she enjoyed her time with the boys, as much as she had done before. She worked in the store, still missing Maria, but somewhat thankful towards Max that he put her and Lucy's shift together. This way, they could get to know each other again on a more neutral ground.

Julie found that Lucy was a warm, pleasant woman to be around. She was caring and gentle, and even though she had been told the main parts of Julie's story, she never once pushed her for more information. Through Lucy, she got to know Sam as well, just a little. Sam was conflicted, probably with both the fact that she was, in fact, alive and the fact that she was a vampire.

She sometimes hung out with Michael, who, after a long conversation with his mom, decided to fully change as well. Oftentimes, Michael was found hanging out with David, and she decided to let the two of them be. She had the feeling she was always interrupting something whenever she was with the two of them, and silently wondered whether or not the two boys realised that.

Weeks went by like this until Halloween passed, and the whole town was getting ready to celebrate Christmas. Trees were put up everywhere, and Christmaslights decorated the streets. It was then, one early November night, that Max and Lucy both wanted to speak with Julie.

"Is everything alright?" Julie asked, looking at the two of them. Max nodded.

"Lucy and I are going on a trip."

"So you want me to run the store?" Julie asked, confusion audible in her voice. "Or - what's going on?"

"Your mother, she -" Lucy paused, not sure how to tell this gently, "she needed mental help when she lost you. She's been in and out of the hospital ever since. Max and I, we are - were going to tell her we found you. And if everything goes right, she will be coming home with us."

Julie was quiet, not knowing what to say. Then, after a moment, she asked quietly: "What if she doesn't take it well? What if..." she became quiet, biting her lip as she looked at Max, fear in her eyes, "What if she hates what I've become?"

Next chapter >

[connectionterminated13]

This story takes place in my AU death swap, Basically a lot of the deaths are swapped Charlie is alive Sammy is dead, Michael gets his self grabbed by circus baby and Elizabeth does Michael's role in sister location and gets herself scooped. Now Evan who survived the bite and became a murder guy just like his dear old dad. This is right after the events of Elizabeth waking up and being found by Charlie Evans coming in to give the more information on what happened. Or so they think Evans about to lie through his teeth for like 3 minutes straight

Sorry if there's a couple mistakes I really pushed this out to make the day! but it was really fun having to write things quicker :3

TW: Mentions of blood, death, mental illness, Murder.

Anyway my submission for the last day of the bash @and-stir-the-stars I hope you like it!

Evan stood outside of the building. It was in a bit of a dirty part of  town but was still nice enough.. honestly it was better than he was expecting. His boots didn't even get that dirty as he walked over to the collection of buzzers on the outside of the apartment looking for Elizabeth's apartment number. 

Evan pressed the correct button and cleared his voice.

“Hello” 

Susie's voice hasn't changed a bit in the almost 7 years since he spoke to her. Evan expected being in a band would make her voice louder, bigger but no it was still that delicate pageant girl voice that had been trained into her. 

“Hey it's me Evan! Here to see Charlie and my sister!” Evan couldn't help but smile to himself despite the bite ruining his face and head, he still had inherited his father's buttery British accent.

“I thought I told you to go shove a stick up your ass…” and The nice Christian slightly overweight, pageant girl was gone and the Punk girl who thought she was interesting was back. 

Evan was hoping the charisma that he had been practicing almost his whole life would get her to be a little bit less obnoxious..

Evan replied with a good natured laugh hiding his annoyance. “Funny but Susie this is serious if you could just open the door for me I love that!”

He heard a bit of chatter too far for the small speaker to pick up. Charlie had intervened, thank God he liked Charlie.

“Sorry about her Evan! She's just a little bit on edge. I'll let you in!” Evan smiled. Charlie was nice. Charlie always came to the hospital to read him books when he could not read himself. She had always been kinder to him than anyone else other than maybe Elizabeth. The only problem with Charlie had been how she liked Michael. He hated how they were friends and then he hated when they were together. One of the many things that had gotten better once Michael had died.

He heard the door open. There was Charlie, a tired smile on her face, Her dark brown hair Wild.. She was wearing some band t-shirt he didn't recognize And comfortable loose sweatpants. She looked like she hadn't slept in days.

“Charlie!” Evan smiled hugging her tight as he felt her arms wrap around him. Always forgot how tall she was.

“Evan I'm so sorry we didn't talk sooner just with school.. and the band… and work. It's been a lot.. I'm so glad you're okay man..” Charlie let out a sigh letting go of him. Evan understood.. 

His less important job at Freddy's and his more important job of gathering remnant took up most of his time.

“Same here Charlie…” And Evan was telling the truth it wasn't part of the plan to have Charlie go down to Circus baby's entertainment and rentals. He had any say in it his sister wouldn't have either. But it was all part of his father's plan so Evan had no choice 

Evan and Charlie talked a little bit as they walked through the door and got into the elevator in the apartment. Apparently school was going well and she had gotten a job working for a computer company doing programming. The band was also going to perform at a big venue next month or it was..

But Evan wasn't really listening to the chatter though. He was thinking about Elizabeth. From what he had heard over the phone she was dead. 

Charlie had told him the whole story through heavy gasps and obvious tears. How they had gotten the call from William telling them that Michael was down in Circus baby's entertainment and rentals and they needed to put him back together. How Elizabeth got a job as a night technician and Charlie got a job as a day technician. How Elizabeth had fought through the first four nights with the help of a mysterious voice revealed to be the main star herself, Circus baby.

How on the 5th night circus baby and all the other animatronics had tore themselves apart and melted together into a new monster that called itself Ennard. How they head killed the other technicians and nearly killed Charlie but stopped. Evan had heard Charlie's voice break when she mentioned the monster had Michael's voice.

And then the monster, the horrible wire thing lured Elizabeth into the scooping room and ripped her to shreds. It had stolen his sister's skin.

He felt a bit vindicated, he was right all those years of Michael playing like he was some kind of saint. Refusing to kill, refusing to get blood on his hands even though he wasn't Michael with free will, she was Baby the killing machine.. 

He was getting spiteful, Charlie noticed. 

“Gosh Evan, I didn't know you hated Computer programming so much.” Charlie looked over nervous as the elevator door opened. Evan had let his mask slip that was bad.. 

“No I was just thinking of everything that happened, I'm So Sorry Charlie..” It was a good enough excuse and he was sorry. Evan knew he and Elizabeth were estranged and she hated him, but he hated the idea of something that horrible happening to her.

But he also had to admit he loved the vision of it. Blood and visceral everywhere organs spilling on the ground and Michael once again covered in blood. Evan thought of the years that he had spent checking the camera footage of Baby's room, to see the cowardly thing crying to herself or pleading for someone to acknowledge she was Michael. How she had refused to do the one thing she was built for.. and she still ended up covered in blood! since that was all Michael was good for getting his siblings blood everywhere 

The two of them stopped at number 5. Even if Charlie hadn't guided him Evan would know this was Elizabeth's home. A pride flag sticker was on the door. 

“Yeah.. Liz and Susie aren't exactly secretive about….” Charlie let out a small chuckle as she opened the door. Evan couldn't help it. He did too, her laughter even so small, sad and tired was infectious.

“What are you laughing at…” And there was Susie. Jesus Christ. Time had sculpted the Pink dress, wearing golden curls, Bible reciting, Susie he had known into a black clad, imposing woman. Evan could still see the traces of the shy, homeschooled, girl he remembered. But None of the kindness she had held for him as a child still lurked in her eyes.

“Nice to meet you again!” Evan put on his most charming smile, Reaching out his Hand to be shook. 

Susie just stared down at his hand, Her bright blue eyes looking at him with such hatred he almost feared that she knew how many lives his hands had taken. They stood there for a minute before Charlie broke the silence.

“Um.. Let's just go inside.. I can make everybody some coffee!” Charlie said nervously. Susie nodded sharply, moving out of the way so both Charlie and Evan could get into the apartment.

Evan stepped inside and he had to admit, the apartment was nice. There was a cozy old couch and armchair with a nice, if slightly rickety table to sit and have meals at. There were a couple shelves filled with records, a drum kit and two electric guitars. 

“Not fancy enough for you?” He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard Susie's voice. 

“No, it's a nice place..” It wasn't the sort of place Evan wanted to live, but it seemed to fit Elizabeth, Susie and Charlie well enough. 

It was definitely nicer than his room back at his father's house. He hadn't changed it since he was carted off to the hospital on that fateful birthday in 1983. His father didn't let him change it.

“Yeah sure…” Susie sat down on the couch. Evan sat down on the chair beginning to hear the noises of Charlie making coffee in what seemed to be a small kitchen.

“Did you know your dad was sending my girlfriend, your sister, his f****** daughter down to Hell?” Her voice was accusatory and angry. Evan did know. Evan knew that place was a death trap, That there was a chance his sister wouldn't come out of there. But what was he going to do about it? it's not like he could change anything, like he could stop it?

“No! And I swear to God my dad didn't either! He's already having a discussion with the owners of rentals” Evan tries to believe the lie himself, tries to believe that his father didn't mean for his only daughter to die.

He did not know his father's plan but he had a feeling that Elizabeth was supposed to die down there.

“Susie, can we please not get accusatory! I know you're scared, I am too but Evan's here to help us fix this” Charlie stumbled in with three coffee mugs. Evan gratefully took a big long sip.

“I get it! you think he can help but Elizabeth doesn't want to see him and Elizabeth is the one who's..” Susie stops herself from saying that part. Evan can only imagine what it must be like.. He doesn't know much about their relationship other than it's romantic. To have your partner become a monster before your eyes must be horrifying. 

Susie and Charlie began to whisper. 

It was almost sweet.. To love someone that much, to be loved that much. Avenue nothing of love. He was almost certain he couldn't feel it, just another sign that he was broken.. He wondered if his father didn't feel love. He wondered if it was the bite that made another part of his brain broken.. 

The whispering stopped and Susie, her face still a mask of anger yelled out. "Liz! Evans here!”

Evan put on his best Charming, biggest, I've missed you sister, smile. As he ran through the possibilities of what his sister actually would look like. He wasn't good at the supernatural science of it all, but he had a basic understanding of how these things worked and Elizabeth's condition was nothing he had ever heard of.

There was a possibility that dad had just never told him about anything like this but he didn't think so. 

And then trudging out from the hallway which presumably led to Susie and Elizabeth's room came Elizabeth. 

Elizabeth trudged out with an angry look on her face. The first thing ever noticed was that his sister was missing half of her face. The entire skin on the right side of her face was gone revealing the bone. Her skin was also pinkish purple… And she was covered in.. 

“Sticky notes?” Evan said in confusion. Now that was a big slip up his first words were supposed to be something inviting, not sticky notes… He couldn't help it! He was surprised! Evan didn't know exactly what he had been expecting but not this…. 

“Sorry I was busy writing you know all of this being sent to my death by my father, seeing the kind of ghost of My Dead Brother and becoming a zombie business gave me some killer ideas for music..” Elizabeth ruled her eye and Susie let out a small chuckle 

Evan, cleared his throat 

“It's been so long, Elizabeth! I know it's under bad circumstances but still it's wonderful to be back together!” 

Evan hopes that his words were convincing enough. Despite not wanting anything to do with them, Elizabeth was still an Afton, so she was able to recognize manipulation but all those years away from father probably lessened the skill.

“Stop trying to be my brother.. Just get this over with so I can get back to songwriting and cuddling my girlfriend” Elizabeth looked away; she only had one eye now. And that one eye was filled with such hatred.

“Yeah and you better not tell any faz-themed lies you little company rat” Susie looked like at any minute if Evan said Susie deemed a lie, her fist would be planted in his shattered skull.

Charlie gave them both a stop fighting look before speaking 

“You work with William, you know something about the rentals and what happened to Michael right?” 

“Yes I do..” Now it was time for the lie.. Evan had been practicing this. His father had gone through the basic idea of what he was supposed to say but Evan had added on details..

“As you all probably remember, on the Opening day of Circus Baby's Pizza World there was a gas leak..” This he had gone through with his father there was never a gas leak. 

Most of the “gas” was just circus baby overheating and letting out excess smoke because her body wasn't built to fit someone of Michael's size 

All three of the women's faces fell dark. Evan could remember that day just like they did.. Smoke choking the air, children running in fear and Elizabeth stepping out of the party room covered in pizza sauce. It was really Michael's blood, but William had convinced everyone that the gas had tampered with Elizabeth's mind and she had just wandered into the kitchen and spilled tomato sauce. How poor little Elizabeth hadn't been able to understand what she had just seen and had begun to cry that circus baby ate Michael..

“But what you don't know is that the gas leak was caused by Michael…” Evan tried to look somber but he could barely hold in his grin. He had added this part. And the next one 

Charlie began to fidget uncomfortably. She had been closer with Michael than anyone at that time; this was going to hurt her a lot..

“He went mad I think quite a while ago.. Was convinced he needed to combine himself with the machines. Made an excuse of getting ice cream for you Elizabeth, then rigged circus baby so she would instead of handing out ice cream pull ice cream in and in this case he was ice cream..” Oh this was fun to see, the look on Elizabeth and Charlie's faces. He cared for them both but the way they liked Michael after everything he did made Evan's blood boil..

“No no you're lying! he wouldn't- I knew him! he-we had a plan! he wouldn't-” Charlie got up beginning to pace.

Evan just sat there trying to look sad. “I'm afraid it's true.. My father didn't tell anyone, fearing that him and Henry would be under more scrutiny and I know it's wrong! He regrets it a lot! but he was scared and sad and thought that was the best decision..” 

Evan spoke in a quiet voice trying to sound sad harder, since even though he was a good liar, seeing Charlie dislike Michael seeing her finally understand that he was a monster and a murderer made him feel good…

“So Michael went crazy and let out the gas leak and shoved himself in the robot? How does that explain him being a part of circus baby and appearing to Liz? Is he like haunting it or something?” Susie was the only one not having an emotional reaction to this; she hadn't known Michael. The only steak she had in this was her girlfriend's well-being.

“He was mentally unstable and scared and thought that was the only way he could be whole.. And yes I believe that in some form his consciousness lingers on and it influences Circus baby and the rest of the animatronics to be violent.. to do that..” Evan gestured to Elizabeth making Susie give him a death glare. 

This was sort of true. Michael was Circus baby and was fully conscious. But he wasn't responsible for the others' murderous programming, dad just made the funtimes like that.

“That's why they were locked up down there. That's why they're punishment was so severe, Michaels sou-if you want to call it that made them go insane…” Elizabeth nodded along quietly.

“It makes sense, He didn't seem that sound of mind when I saw him..” Elizabeth ran an unconscious hand over the entry scar on her back where the scooper had hit and that monstrosity had torn into her. 

“No, I know Michael! I knew him so well then!! We were close! If he was feeling like that he would have told me!? he would have said something, he would have like painted it or some s*** Michael doesn't-” Charlie looked around hoping for that hostility Susie and Elizabeth had to Evan earlier but his lie was good they knew he was right. 

“Look Charlie I'm not saying we trust the corporate asshat over there..But it seems to line up with what Elizabeth said…” Even though Evan hated being called a corporate asshat, She was on the right track or the track he wanted her to be on.

“May I continue?” The word sounded Melancholy as if he couldn't bear to continue telling the tale.

Charlie nodded, looking like she was about to explode. Evan went ahead quickly before Charlie could say anything else 

“But trapping a bloodthirsty animal in a cage makes it more vicious so All of the animatronics influenced by Michael's anger and Madness at time of death combined and used Elizabeth to escape..”

“Then I got moldy and they injected” Elizabeth added on 

“Exactly and here's where it all comes in.. You brought me here to find out more information and now you've got it! but we still have a murderous pile of wires on the loose, who's willing to do worse than what happened to Elizabeth in a heartbeat…And it still thinks like Michael in some weird twisted way so.. ” Charlie stopped pacing and stared in object horror at what next was going to come out of Evan's mouth. Evan couldn't help but smile here he had been waiting for this part, he'd been waiting to even do this since he woke up in that stupid hospital bed in 1983

“We need to kill it, And Charlie I need your help to get it done…”

[shmowder]

I looked at your blog at work and the grinning emoji is so scary looking on that computer?? The chipmunk/squirrel is even cuter though!

I love and admire people who are capable of inventing an interesting reader insert backstory <3 Cause mine are. Well. Low effort and bad (although I say this with affection). Young woman who just happens to be there. Daughter of a somewhat important person, important enough to be spoiled but ultimately well-behaved, unimportant enough to escape most people's notice. Personality may or may not change a bit depending on the fandom. It's fine though... just don't think about it too hard or else you'll find yourself staring at a big ol' void 😌

Ooh, now there's a scenario I hadn't considered! iirc Yulia isn't originally from the town; if the surgery is only taboo in the town then ideally it could be done most easily in the capital if she can travel there. But where's the fun and drama in that? Seems best if Artemy doesn't get involved; if Daniil's around at that time then maybe he should be on hand for backup.

There's something... romantic about the third option, I have to say. The level of trust involved! She shouldn't have to do it all by herself - do you think she would, though? It would be lovely to see her around the town more <3

Speaking of dreams, I'm not usually a dream rememberer but not too long ago I had a dream where I got shot in the kidney for NO reason. This was before I started thinking about Pathologic again so I can't even use that as an excuse. When I was little, I liked to read about extinct animals and the most vivid dream I ever had involved being chased around my own house by an enormous Great Auk that was taller than me. 0/10 would not recommend.

And lastly, I'm happy to hear that ^^ This is definitely the most I've ever spoken to anyone on here but I'm enjoying it a lot. And honestly you're making me use my brain more than I usually do these days, which isn't a bad thing. Just wish I could put my messages under a readmore for your other followers sake :P

🐿️ anon

I said it before, and I'll say it again, you hit the jackpot with the squirrel emoji. It's truly adorable, one of a kind and stands out.

Thank you <33 I'm glad you like my idea. Honestly I spend a lot of time just imagining backstories for various reader concepts and how to seamlessly weave them into the game story yk?

Like the medical engineer healer with the prosthetic approach to curing the plague and Yulia being their proof of concept prototype. They replace the infected organs of people with prosthetic ones to cure them at the hospital. Yulia x reader focused with some Daniil x reader.

There is also a lawyer reader who isn't a healer but one of the utopians. They come into the town and help defend Big Vlad Olgimsky for his crimes. They are morally grey and know there is no concrete truth in the world, so they easily twist facts to their advantage. It's younger Vlad x reader centred.

Reader x herb bride one too! Basically, the reader is sort of a cowboy/gunslinger? Their first seen is with them drowning in the river, poisonous water seeping into their lungs before a herb bride pulls them out and saves them. They are healers, and rather than cure the plague, they make it their mission to get rid of the army and their weapons of destruction so the real doctors are granted more time. They have a forbidden love story with the herb bride.

Fresh med school graduate reader insisting they company Daniil to the town. You're a Thanatica intern, but he is not your supervisor. It's a different doctor. Once you learn that Simon is dead, you completely lose interest and refuse to help Dankovsky with the petty revenge murder search. You and Dankovsky are both dandies from the capital, but you two never get along and always disagree and oppose each other in medical opinions. You're not a healer in this but one of the humbles.

My current fixation is about a semi-knight reader who carries a big fuck off sword around? While the soul n halves help the Haruspex, the dogheads are your gang of kiddos and Khan gives you insight on the town inner affairs. You're allowed on the polyhedron and vow to protect these children from any harm since day one. Except the polyhedron slowly makes you spiral into madness the more time you spend inside and the Kains really want you under their thumb. You're a healer and help deal with the plague by evacuating people to safer areas, carrying the sick to the theatre hospital and preforming basic first aid.

Reader being the inventor of this big ass canon that the army brings to tramble the town. You're a genius mechanic with a history with General Block. I haven't decided yet if reader is a healer or not

Etc the list goes on.

There are so many tbh, they just manfiest into my brain while I listen to music at the gym. I indulge the fleeting fantasies and sometimes revisit them.

But I prefer coming up with these concepts myself yk? Because I can understand my own vision. That's why general or vague requests are the best, they give me a lot of creative freedom. While the more specific a request becomes that harder, it will be for me to make a comprehensive story out of the other person's vision.

Requests are already a writing exercise each time I make them. When writing stories on my own, I can consult myself for any changes, plotholes, or inquiries I may have. But with a requester, you can only guess. You write with blind faith and hope the other person ends up liking it.

It was hard at the start, but I have been doing requests for about 2 years now? So I got better at reading between the lines in requests, noticing the anon's style and what they might like. It becomes a subconscious habit to pick on other people's preference and break down the specific words they deliberately chose to determine what kind of story they're looking for.

It makes it fun. And I enjoy making requests for other people. Someone wrote a request for me once when I was 13 and afraid of people, i spoke with broken English and was terrified of strangers online... But the writer was patient and listened to my rambling and gave me exactly what I was looking for! I didn't mention my preference or detials like that but they managed to grasp my mindest through my rambling. It was like mind reading i tell you. I still have that fic saved and admire it from time to time.

Reading is beautiful too, I like making stories and making people happy. Especially that these people already read! Like it is so much easier to go play a videogame or look at fanart, but no. You decide to read words on a screen, to get your fulfilment through the oldest form of entertainment known to mankind.

I love reading, be it fanficton or books in general. Words are indescribable. I love talking too!

-

Oh my god you got shot in your dream and didn't immediately wake up? Damn you must have pissed off the dream fairy or something. Most of my dreams are unpleasant so I feel you.

And dowhfksjsn being chased by a great Auk, especially a little kid too. 10/10 looney tones vibe dream.

Thank you for the praise <3 I do enjoy these conversations. It was a lonely empty blog before ngl- But please don't feel pressured into anything. I always be here and you can and go as you please, send an ask whenever you want.

Media analysis is the whole reason I fell in love with writing in the first place. I mean yes, you don't need to understand how a machine works in order to operate it, but once you do a whole new world opens before your eyes.

Art is a reflection of the observer. Whenever you like a piece of art, be it a video game, a movie, a story or a painting, you will be liking traits which you've already held yourself.

Think of it like light and colours. Each object under the light absorbs all the colours and reflects back one. Humans are inherently complex and filled with so many colours and traits much like light is, so when you observe art, it reflects back certian colours which originated from you.

That's why no one story will be the same. No one analysis of pathologic will be the same and not one single character depiction will be the same. Art will reflect different colours for different people. You and I can look at the same exact story and notice different things.

Even if we see the same colour and we both agree it's red, the hue will be slightly off. The saturation varying for each of us, it's brighter in some areas for you and dimmer in the corners for me.

When you ask someone for their opinion on a story or a character, they reflect back the same colour they saw in that piece of art. With their own special hue, you're seeing the story through their own eyes.

Nothing objectively holds any meaning. Words are just inky lines scratched onto preserved tree tissue.

The observer gives them meaning, You give them meaning.

It's always been you.

That's why you cannot possibly read too much into one thing, the curtians were blue for a reason. Much like the outside skies are blue and yet this character is sitting here, in a prison of their own mind between four solid walls. Yearning for freedom. For the blue skies just out of reach.

And the next best thing is a bittersweet reminder in the form of blue curtains.

Critcal thinking is a skill you nurture, a habit you build one day at a time. No one is born with great art observation skills, no one can glance at a piece of art and determine all the possible colours it can reflect.

But you can train yourself to shift the hue, to look at it from a different angle. To comprehend that art was never about beauty or skill, but communication. The artist will always leave a trail of messages behind them, even a kid's scribble can spell a new story if you pay attention to where the fingerprint smudges are located, that they drew they drew the house before the grass, that the smidges on the corner are from melted chocolate and cookie crumbs.

[izzy-b-hands]

3V

An argument. Talking about the past, and a flashback.

TW violence, blood, sex, an open relationship that really needs better communication (Ed/Izzy)

---

In theory, they should be safe for the rest of the day.

Stede helps him unpack and arrange the blood bags in the fridge. He also pushes him against the counter, a thigh between Izzy's legs, and kisses him until he's out of breath.

The rest of his day's work is only chores, and he knows Ed rarely wakes before sunset unless absolutely necessary. Even then, he demands the windows thrice covered over in thick black curtains, and certain rooms are avoided for safety.

Still, he's jumpy. Every noise, no matter how small, sounds like the lid of Ed's coffin moving.

"You're fine," Stede takes the broom from his hands. "We're outside. Even if he did get up, we wouldn't have heard it."

"That's worse," Izzy says. "Trust me."

Stede looks visibly nervous for the first time.

"You don't really know me," Izzy continues. "You have no obligation to stay here. Not that I don't appreciate it-"

"I like you," Stede interrupts. "I'd like to see if there's more there. But I won't do that if I don't spend time with you. Even if it's doing chores for your batshit boss."

A thud from inside the house, and Izzy winces.

Of course, Ed would hear that.

--

"You're back," Ed says dryly as they walk inside. "Should I wait to touch anything until Izzy's disinfected it?"

"It's nice seeing you again too," Stede replies with the iciest, yet nicest, smile Izzy's ever seen. "Sleep well?"

"He knows?" Ed scoffs. "Izzy, the fuck?! What else have you told him?"

"It's not a big deal," Stede says gently. "I employ some vampires, and-"

"Lovely, glad you filled your supernatural minority hire quota," Ed spits. "Izzy, we're talking. Now."

"If you're upset because I'm fucking him, then maybe you should have acted faster," Stede says smoothly. "I've only known him for two days, and I have no idea why you haven't made a move."

Izzy can tell Ed is seeing red. "Ed, just. I understand why you're upset. I'm probably moving too fast, but...I like him. I trust him. Would it help to see his bar, meet his staff, see he's harmless?"

"Well, not totally harmless," Stede chuckles, and steps behind him, arms wrapped around his waist. "May I demonstrate?"

Izzy has a good idea of what he's about to do. And that means he should say no.

"Of course," he murmurs, and sighs when Stede nips at his neck, licking and sucking at the sore spot.

His eyes are closed, but he hears Ed give a disgusted gasp, then storm away.

"I think I'm the only thing holding you up," Stede mumbles against his skin. "Is there anywhere we can go he probably won't interrupt us?"

Izzy nods. "Not in here though. I'll show you."

--

There's a bit of land behind the house. Not much, but enough for a large shed.

Ed has never mentioned it, so Izzy made it his own.

"Wow," Stede breathes. "You did a lot here. You don't sleep in here, do you?"

Izzy shrugs. "I have before. Probably will again. Some nights if we piss each other off enough it's easier to leave. By morning we carry on as usual."

"That's not great for either of you though," Stede says, and it definitely isn't a question. "Have you always butted heads with him?"

"Not really," Izzy replies. "Not like we do now."

--

He drifts back to one of his early years with Ed. Twenty-one years old and starting to get a hang of how things had to go:

They'd arrive in a new town, buy the cheapest house available, no matter how rundown. Ed paid in cash, though Izzy had no idea if he'd simply saved and invested well over the years, or if he somehow had some other cash flow.

That made him seem the eccentric sort of wealthy, and that meant they were left alone. Often more or less shunned, if the city was on the smaller side.

Those were more dangerous, and they never spent much time in those before the inevitable next steps:

Blood supply would start to dip for one reason or another, or they'd be limited in hospitals and other suppliers. Ed would subsist off animal blood if he had to, but over the years he'd become more and more reluctant to do so.

Izzy couldn't blame him, the way Ed described it made it sound disgusting. But the other options were a little more difficult, and then some.

The next was Izzy offering himself up, but Ed could only feed so much before Izzy would pass out, or he would risk killing him.

Izzy had told him he could always just turn him if he drank too much, and that would be that.

Ed never said anything in reply to that.

If Izzy was exhausted, the final option was hunting.

Izzy did that portion. He knew Ed's tastes by twenty-one, and how they ranked in terms of what Ed would want.

He had a particular taste for blond men, the prettier the better. Hence Izzy's fear that Ed might literally swoop in and steal Stede away.

After that, it varied some, but he could usually tell by how Ed acted that day as to what he wanted.

It felt like a twisted art form, right down to the chloroforming or stabbing or strangling. Just enough to get them knocked out and in Izzy's car, picked off late at night, in as isolated of areas as he could find.

Then it was home to Ed, to present him his meal.

From there, Ed took over. If they weren't entranced by his eyes right away, a touch of hypnosis kept them in place.

Some nights, it was almost erotic. Ed nearly naked, cradling his victim in his arms. Blood running down rapidly paling skin, Ed moaning with each breath he took.

Those nights he had to step out into the hall and will himself to calm down. Ed would be absolutely delighted to see him come in his pants like that. Not that Izzy wasn't into the kink, but it felt slightly malicious with Ed now.

He wished it could be otherwise, but that was like wishing he didn't have to clean the mess Ed made other nights.

Those nights were loud and violent. Ed's nails raking into skin until he drew blood, fangs ripping out shreds of flesh. Blood would gush with every remaining heartbeat, ruining countless rugs and floors despite Izzy's best cleaning efforts. He sometimes wondered how much Ed actually drank those nights, because most of it seemed to end up on his scrub brushes and in his mop water.

The night he found himself telling Stede about, they were reaching that desperate point.

--

"Not rats tonight," Ed shakes his head. "Not rabbits either."

Izzy sighs. "We haven't been here that long. I told you this one was too small to be sustainable."

"We couldn't know for sure until we got here and tried," Ed protests. "Anyone else in my position would do the same thing."

"It's real fucking convenient for you to decide to just up and rush the routine," Izzy scoffs. "You may have the final hit, but I do the real killing. Even if you didn't drink from them, they'd almost all still have died. That affects me, Ed. I didn't expect to be a fucking murderer by twenty-one!"

He feels the tears rolling down his face, and wishes he could will them to stop.

Ed stares. "Izzy, I love you. But come on, man. I showed you what this all encompassed before you chose to come with me. You didn't have to come with me."

"Like you would have let me live after watching you drain someone?" Izzy scoffs again. "How stupid do you think I am?"

Ed looks hurt, a surprise. "I don't think you're stupid. You made an educated decision based on what I showed you. That decision can still end up being the wrong one, but don't you dare put all of that on me."

Izzy can't decide if he wants to kiss or kill Ed, in a desperate attempt to shut the argument down. Finally, kiss wins out.

Ed moans against his lips, then pushes him back. "You can't do that every time we disagree. It doesn't mean anything after that."

"How fucking romantic," Izzy spits. "What means more to you in the end, the people I kill for you, or the kisses?"

"Go get me some food," Ed hisses, and turns on his heel, open robe swishing behind him.

"Of course, I can't end an argument like an asshole, but you can!" Izzy mutters.

"I heard that!" Ed shouts.

Izzy doesn't stick around to reply. After all, he has a meal request to fill.

Or rather, prey to hunt.

In bigger cities, he would have certain areas he'd try first. A railyard, shipyard, any outskirts. But in smaller cities, it didn't really apply. There was a higher risk of being caught in the act, and a good chance he'd end up beaten to death by some rural sheriff looking for any excuse to use excessive force.

So he takes to the streets looking for anyone, anywhere. Walking aimlessly, aware that the longer he took, the angrier Ed would be.

Even then, it doesn't take long.

"Izzy," Howell waves him over. "Awful late to be out! What has you out at this time?"

Izzy's heart sinks. Of course, it would be him. Howell Davis, the director of the community theatre company, and one of the first to welcome them to town.

"Uh, Ed's feeling unwell," Izzy lies. "And he asked me to go out and get him something to eat. Soup."

"Funny enough, I'm headed the same place," Howell smiles. "William has a terrible cold, and of course, we're out of medicine."

"Better to walk together this late, right?" Izzy asks. "Never know who else is out and about."

"Oh goodness," Howell laughs. "Around here? No. We almost all know each other."

"Yeah," Izzy nods. "We do."

They make it to the one open corner store, and he ends up buying himself dinner as if it were for Ed. Not a useless trip after all, and at least his last experience with anyone in town will be a good one.

Until the very end, of course.

"Say, you offered to walk with me to the shop," Howell says as they near their original meeting point. "Why don't I walk you home? Return the favor."

Izzy shrugs. "If you don't mind."

"I don't," Howell says, but he stops mid-step.

"Everything okay?" Izzy stops and turns to ask.

Howell is on him in a second, hands cradling his face, lips warm against Izzy's.

He knows Ed has his dalliances with Jack, whenever Jack happens to cross their path. Why shouldn't Izzy be allowed his own?

"Not here," Izzy gasps out in between kisses. "We're in the middle of the street."

Howell takes his hand, and leads Izzy down the road towards the park.

Behind a line of thicker trees, Howell pushes him against one. Bags from the shop are tossed aside, and there's no thought that their respective partners might wonder what's taking so long, when the shop isn't far away.

He should care. But Howell nips at his neck and his mind goes blank.

"Please don't tell William," Howell whimpers. "I don't do things like this normally, but...I mean, I married the first man I dated. We didn't even live together before then."

"Is that what you tell every twenty-something you fuck in the park?" Izzy smiles. "I won't tell him. We're leaving town as soon as Ed is feeling better anyway."

"Fuck you, I'm twenty-nine," Howell scoffs. "Why are you leaving?"

"Ed likes change," Izzy replies, grinding himself against Howell's thigh between his legs. "And he's the one that makes our money, so when he wants to move, we move."

"Sounds so healthy," Howell mutters.

"Says the man cheating on his husband with the first person he saw at night," Izzy snaps. "Are we doing this or not?"

Howell bites his neck hard, and Izzy feels his cock pulse.

"I'll take that as a yes," Howell smirks, and drops to his knees in front of Izzy.

"It is," Izzy says. "I don't care. Like I said, we'll be gone soon enough. It won't matter if this gets out."

"What if Ed finds out?"

Izzy balks. "I suppose we'll be having a serious talk. But he has his play time away from me as well, with no thought as to if I care or not."

Howell undoes the laces of his leather trousers, and pulls his cock out from his pants. "Huh. And here I thought he'd just kill you."

As Howell takes him into his mouth, Izzy silently panics. What exactly does everyone think about Ed?

"Howell," Izzy says softly.

"Already, seriously?" Howell scoffs. "I hope you give better head than you get."

"No," Izzy hisses. "What. What did you mean, about thinking Ed would kill me? Was that a joke?"

"Not really," Howell shrugs, absentmindedly pausing to suck one of Izzy's balls into his mouth. It lolls out off his tongue, and he continues. "He just gives a lot of people around here the creeps. We understand he has his sun allergy, but when he's been out at night he's been nothing but rude. There's no need for that."

Izzy nods, and leans back against the tree as Howell goes back to sucking him off. So that's it then. Even with Ed rarely going out, even at night, there's no hiding that he's different compared to others. A little bit sharper, a little bit smarter, and a little bit scarier. Somehow, it shines through no matter what. Not always a bad thing, but then, there was this.

Truthfully, Howell isn't doing much for him. He'd rather it was Ed licking the precum off the slit of his cock, taking him as deep as possible in his throat.

He knows they can't take forever, so he thinks of Ed.

Ed, on his knees, albeit with a good cushion underneath them. He'd been old enough to have had chronic knee injuries, but he refused to let that stop him from sucking Izzy off that way.

Ed, looking up at him with those soft brown eyes, through thick lashes, fluttering shut as he chokes on Izzy's cock. He'd let Izzy's cock pop out of his mouth, and giggle.

He bites down gently on his own hand to keep quiet. Howell moans around his cock, and it's almost enough.

Finally, Ed would pause to beg him to come, show off his own leaking cock, and occasionally simply stick out his tongue and wait for Izzy to jerk off onto it.

It was overtly, ridiculously pornographic, so it wasn't something they did often. But that made it all the more memorable: watching Ed swallow his cum and politely ask if he could jerk off on Izzy's tits.

Izzy taps Howell's shoulder twice, and moans around his hand as he comes. Howell swallows him down, moaning.

"I fucking knew it!"

Izzy's eyes snap open. William, in an extra heavy coat, running towards them.

He puts himself away as Howell practically spits out his cock, and makes a decision.

He yanks out the guitar strings garrote he's made, and swings behind Howell to wrap it around his neck.

William stops dead in his tracks and screams. Perfect, exactly what he needs right now.

Howell fights him, and it seems like it takes ages to get him down. William was unfrozen by then, and charges their way again.

Before he can plan an angle of attack, a shadow swoops in and drags William along the ground to rest by Howell and Izzy.

"How fucking hard is it to just get one meal?" Ed scoffs. "Fucking hell, Iz."

"You don't understand," Izzy starts, but Ed holds up a hand.

"I saw everything," Ed says. "Forget it. You forgave me for Jack, I can forgive you for this."

He watches Ed drain both of them that night. They drag the bodies home, and do their usual disfiguring and dismemberment. The parts get packed in duffel bags, and tossed in random locations as Ed and Izzy drove away with what little they had.

--

"Fuck," Stede breathes shakily. "Iz."

Izzy nods.

"That's a bit bigger than butting heads," Stede continues. "Come here."

Izzy snuggles inside Stede's hug. "I haven't been able to tell anyone that before. Thing is, I'm almost proud of it. Could have gone so much worse. Yet I've been hesitant to mention it to anyone, not even other familiars we've met on the road."

"I can sort of see why," Stede says softly. "Shall we lay down, maybe?"

Izzy leads him to the cheap, barely big enough for them both, cot he had shoved in the shed. It was rather big to be called that honestly, but not enough to be a garage either. Who knew what it had been before Izzy had made it over.

Stede is gentle and slow and exactly what Izzy needs right now.

Stede's hands wander, his fingers dipping underneath Izzy's shirt to trace patterns on his bare skin. It makes him shiver, and leaves him moaning into Stede's mouth.

Their hips bump, hard cocks grinding through their clothes, and Stede is just panting needily into his mouth when there's a pounding on the shed door.

"Ed," Stede mutters.

"Let me," Izzy tries, but Stede is already up.

"What the fuck is your problem?!" Stede demands.

Ed growls. "You."

[maximumsunshine]

Had an unplanned day off because my client is in the hospital (happens with elderly and disabled) and my 10yo has been running a "pleeeeeeaaaaassssseeee take me swimming campaign" so i decided spur of the moment last night that today was the perfect day for that. Had to figure out a suit for him because Wren isn't comfortable in a femme suit anymore. But biggest brother's old swim trunks fit his waist and younger big brother's swim shirt fit his top so yea! Masc presenting swim clothes that fit and kept him covered!

We had to swing by grandma's on the way to the pool on that side of town to get the trunks and steal grandma's pool noodles. Biggest brother found out we were swimming and had the day off and requested to join us. He and I are struggling with our relationship but i was happy to have him tag along. We can't fix things if we don't spend time together.

The pool is fun! I'm like a fucking golden retriever in water. Creeks, reservoirs, ocean, pools, as long as it's safe I'm throwing myself in. This pool was really nice. There was a lazy river my water shy 10yo was content to float in. I get wanted to be in the water so i was content to chill there.

The 19yo and I did ditch him a few times here and there (he could reach the bottom, made friends, there were life guards, it was only 4ft deep, and I refuse to helicopter) to go down the waterslide. We'd make sure Wren was contently playing and safe, duck out for the 5 minutes it took to water slide, then rejoin him.

I also found the pool with a DEEP end and diving boards. I'm not some fancy diver and I don't know fancy strokes, but I can survive jumping off the diving board and get myself to the ladder easily enough so i did that a few times while Wren was playing in an actual pool pool that was mostly within his comfort zone, different sectiona roped off so he couldn't accidentally go too deep. In the regular pool my very brave puddle duck practiced floating without his noodle (so he could see for himself humans float with caution) and practiced his doggy paddle with his pool noodles.

Before he got there he was SCARED just absolutely TERRIFIED the standard pool was going to have some terrible current that would pull him to the deep end amd drowned him if he accidentally tripped off his feet in the shallow end. So today's focus, besides fun, was to show him that hey with a little work you can float, also here is a waybto swim even a beginner cam do, and only the lazy river has an actual current but it's only 4 feet deep. But also? Even if momma and big brother aren't right there? If you get into trouble between the life guards and other adults around, someone is right there to grab you. So really you're ok to play marco polo in the pool and just relax.

We were only there 3 hours. But apparently that's exactly how many spoons I had to dedicate to swimming because I'm exhausted now. I'm glad I gave to 3 hours though because it was a pretty perfect amount of swimming.

After the pool we grabbed Wendy's then I took Thomas home (he is currently living with my mom) and then Wren and i came home and he hopped in the bathtub (apparently he hasn't had his fill of water) and I'm resting in bed. Just thrilled at the day I've had!

[luckygrimreaper]

I have thoughts about New Kid, I'm sorry (Part 2)

And here’s the next one which is just if I ever did write a formal multiple-chapter for the games this would be a much later scene taking place during the second game to act as a big reveal for the truth of just who Jeremy is and how he ended up in this situation. It's probably one of the most self-indulgent parts of this whole thing not gonna lie. But also I was planning to add more character flashbacks, but you can probably see when I stopped being able to pick specific moments so I kinda gave up, plus I wrote this at midnight since I wanted it down before I fell asleep

Also probably the only one with a proper summary: And on the floor, in the back of his closet there sat a box, innocently marked mementos. However, he did not remember ever looking in this box for as long as he has had it. He realizes now that he doesn't know what's inside it. It's a very unsettling thought. Jeremy pulls out the box and sets it in the middle of his room. He kneels down and opens the box. And just like that, he remembers everything he had forgotten. All the memories that were taken from him.

And it went a little something like this…

And it went a little something like this…

He honestly didn't care about the Xbox vs Playstation debate. PC is the master race and everyone can fight him on it. But he was approached near the beginning by Kenny, who wanted to play as a Princess but was denied this by both other parties. She was going to align herself with one and then betray them for the other to get them to all recognize her rank. However what was a princess without her royal knight? She came to him and asked him to be her royal knight, to fight for and beside her. While he couldn’t care less about the debate, he also couldn't find a reason to say no to her.

When the time came he fought by her side. Though everything turned into a mess because of outside forces. There are still bright sides though, like how while no one was looking at him he got a Playstation for her since she seemed pretty disappointed that everyone was now getting Xbox Ones instead after the whole murders thing. He could almost swear he lost his breath when he saw how she lit up when he handed it over with the simple remark, "For the beloved Princess." And if he blushed when she kissed his cheek then he'll take it to the grave.

And it went a little something like this…

A game of superheroes goes horribly wrong in far too many ways. And so maybe he takes a switchblade meant for someone else to the chest. And maybe he should've stayed in bed. And maybe he shouldn't have gone to confront Cartman after hearing about the others getting trapped. But maybe he was right to do so.

Still wrapped in bandages and blood he walked his way up and through the crowd. And sure there was that stupid prophecy saying only Mint Berry could stop Cthulu, but honestly what did he care? Since when has he ever listened to something like that? And maybe he stood there, broken and bleeding, and talked his way out of this. Looked Cthulhu in the eyes and convinced it to stop, fix everything, and go back home. Maybe he saved the day not with violence, or prophecies, or fate, but rather the power of fucking friendship and diplomacy.

Carman was pissed, but hey, shouldn't have lied to Cthulhu man. And maybe he collapsed in an alley nearby after seeing everyone was safe.

But maybe it was nice to be found while at his worst and not made fun of or doted over. But just helped up. And maybe it was nice to see, once again, for all Craig likes to say he doesn't give a shit about anyone other than Tweek and Stripe, he did care about others. And maybe it was nice to know that others included him, even when he's currently being nothing more than a burden.

And it went a little something like this…

Can you really blame him? Tweek's parents have done so much fucked up shit, honestly it's crazy that he's the first one to do anything. So sue him, when they once again completely disregard Tweek's wellbeing he just fucking punched them. And shit maybe his own parent issues are getting in the way of how he reacts to other people's parents. But seriously he's justified this time! They were super pissed at him, but hey who isn't these days. Least they finally actually emote something other than joy for once.

Tweek was pretty freaked, surprisingly not about Jeremy punching his dad, but more about his parents were going to react. He honestly was expecting Tweek to care about them more. But when he's sitting in the back on top of a box, watching Tweek try his best to clean up Jeremy's busted lip and a bloody nose that his own dad gave Jeremy, Jeremy realized he was wrong. And maybe he shouldn't judge books by their covers.

And it went a little something like this…

He knew, everyone knew. Stan had a problem. Just most people didn't realize that problem didn't instantly go away like they were expecting. But he knew, though that's only because he kept looking at Stan and seeing reflections of himself. So it’s really not of any surprise that he noticed realistically speaking. And if maybe he chose to hang around more. To gently prod, without ever really judging. Who could blame him, really?

And if those quiet moments eventually got Stan to open up and say what was going on, then hey it was for the best. And if Jeremy managed to convince him to start going to therapy, real therapy not whatever shit they're trying to pass off as therapy in this town, then it was for the best. And if Stan finally dumped that bottle of Whiskey out and replaced the drink with soda to help cope, then it was for the best. And if Stan had someone to have his back and figure out gender and sexuality, then it was for the best.

And if a friendship started by accident because one person was concerned about another one day, well then it was for the best.

And it went a little something like this…

Drama has never been his thing, he's always preferred to stick to his own corner of the universe and call it a day. But when Wendy came to him for advice, much like every other dumbass, over what to do about Cartman going into the girl's bathroom, he actually tried to comfort her. Look, he thought the whole thing was stupid and that there was an easy solution to all of this. But he still has a damn heart and so maybe that meant he didn't want to invalid her feelings by saying that to her face.

And so maybe his “easy” solution led to quite a few people realizing they were trans and/or nonbinary. But hey that's not invalidating people's feelings, so mission accomplished. Plus it was nice to have someone else who knew the vibe of just pretty using whichever bathroom would be least likely to have a screaming match start when they walked in. And if the kids formed their own little trans rights group, then hey, more power to them.

And it went a little something like this…

Butters was different he supposed. Everyone called him innocent and naive. But Jeremy thought he was more nice and snarky. He had no idea how he did it, but Butters sure did. Managed to be so many things all at once. Jeremy was glad they were friends. While he could say he didn't understand how everyone else didn't like him, he did. Because it was intentional. And man was that wildest realization he’s ever had. He was caught off-guard for weeks after the fact, still reeling from it.

Because at the same time, it made perfect sense. Because it's Butters, or rather Majorine now. And oh boy did Jeremy have to help her with her hair and makeup at first, but eventually, she got a hang of it herself. That doesn't mean they stopped hanging out solely to work on her hair and makeup sometimes, but it wasn't an everyday thing. And both situations were okay. They were friends, what else more was needed? (absolutely nothing if you asked him)

And it went a little something like this…

There was a kid who lived in South Park, his parents weren’t around much, but he never minded. It just meant he had free rein of the house. And though it was awkward at first to once again be the new kid in another town he knows nothing about, it was the first time he stayed for more than a month.

He couldn’t really be blamed then when at the end of the month he opened up and found maybe this town wasn’t the worst he could’ve been stuck in. He made friends and enemies and sometimes people who were both. But he was happy with his life, it wasn’t great, but it was his for once and that felt like enough.

But then one day his parents returned and stole him away, without even a chance to say goodbye. He stayed closed off from the world. He didn’t dare care about anyone else lest he is taken from them again.

He could never forget South Park though.

He figured it was that, eventually, his parents had enough of running because he wasn’t careful enough. He doesn’t know how they did it, but they found someone who would make the world forget him. And forget everyone did, including him. All he had left was a box of mementos from his time in South Park, but he dared not ever open it.

That day everything was taken from him, even his voice. And everything was taken from everyone he once cared for, their identities, the help he gave, the help they gave him. Gone in the blink of an eye.

He woke up in the hospital. He couldn’t recall what had happened to him or who he was, not even the glimpse of a name. As if he just came out of thin air, no history, no identity. Just a body filled with questions and not a single thought.

The next day though, a woman came in, claiming to be his new foster parent. Argus Kepler. She told him his name and that this small little box she held belonged to him, that was it. He never knew what to think of her, but in retrospect, he should’ve been more than a little suspicious.

For she was the one that made everyone forget. And for all he wants to be angry at her, he can’t, it was never her idea. Besides, when given the chance to take him back to the only place that ever got the chance to be home, she did it. She brought him back to South Park, even if everyone forgot, friendships can be rekindled. She knew it made him happy, so she brought him back. For as angry as he is, for the brief time she was in his life, she did everything she could to make him happy. All because she thought his parents didn’t care enough like they were supposed to. He thinks that’s what being a good parent is, caring, even when no one else would.

He remembers now. He has a voice, a name, a history, an identity. Jeremy, Jupiter, Jacks, all him. One for every side of his gender. One for every game played. He had best friends and sworn enemies. He had a home.

And now there’s only one thing left to do, well scratch that two things. One punch Cartman, two, well, what else? It’s time the truth was revealed once and for all. Take it or leave it, it was about them as much it was about him. They had the right to know.

He packs up the box again and picks it up, he can leave it outside the base while he decks Cartman.

[ironwoman18]

The Worst Third Date Ever part 31

Chapter 31: Those Crackers.

A Month Later.

Max had been working part time between the school and the Smithsonian, Spencer started to teach at the university and the rest of the time he was at home researching or getting calls from the BAU to ask him things about the cases they were working on.

They were always busy but they find time to have dates. Sometimes he went to the Smithsonian and have lunch together or he order food for dinner.

They managed their time pretty good. Every women in his classes got sad the moment he said he was married. But that did not stop them from continue going to his classes.

One day Max was not feeling good, she was nauseous and could not hold anything in her stomach. At first she thought it was a food poisoning so she just drank some tea and tried to eat light things. But it did not got any better.

She called both works saying she was not feeling good so she will not go that day. They accepted it and wish her to get better soon.

Spencer did not want to leave her alone but she told him to go give his classes, she will be fine alone for a few hours.

He left still unsure but told her to call him if she needed him. She decided to call Michelle to asked her to come over her house to talk with her while he was gone and asked her to bring a package of crackers.

When Spencer arrived he saw his wife and sister-in-law talking in the living room and he saw the package of crackers on the coffee table. His brain started to work faster making connections.

"Spencer?" Said Max at him a little worry then he realized she was worry because he had some tears on his cheeks "baby are you ok?"

"Ye...yeah, um... Max when did you have your last period?" He asked looking at her.

"Well last month, but it should had came last Frid..." She just realized the same thing her husband did "wait... Do you think I am...?" She could not finish the question.

"Oh my..." Michelle was also in shock "I will get you a pregnancy test" she stood up after the couple nodded. When Michelle left they hugged tight.

"I will book an appointment with the doctor to be 100% sure" he said still hugging her.

"Ok... Gosh... Just when we just started a new job and are so busy" she said looking up at him.

"We will find a way. Beside you have your family. My mom will be so excited"

"I bet she will know the moment she looks at us" said Max "she is so much like my mom. When Michelle got pregnant, mother knew immediately" she laughed but had some tears.

He kisses her head softly "you know that the moment you and I start dating, my mom loves you as her daughter" she hugged her tight until Michelle arrived.

Max cleaned her tears and walked in the bathroom. She stayed there for some minutes, Spencer and Michelle waiting out of the bathroom.

When she walked out she looked at them "let's wait some more minutes for the result" she held Spencer's hand and wait some more until she checked the test. It showed a little "+" sign, she showed it to him and her sister "it's positive..." She has happy tears once again and hugged them. They hugged back all happy for the new addition to the family.

After some minutes hugging they broke the hug and Spencer called to book an appointment for her.

Before Michelle left they asked her to not tell anyone until the doctor's confirmation. She nodded and promised not to say anything until they gave her permission.

The couple sat in the living room and hugged "according to the paper in this test. It's very accurate and 99 of 100 results are real" she said with her head on his chest "when is the appointment?"

"Next Monday. They said we need a week to run a blood test, just in case and after that the doctor will do the ultrasound"

"What made you think I was pregnant?"

"Those cookies... I remember JJ and Kate, a former coworker, ate them when they were pregnant" he looked down "and other symptoms that made me suspicious"

"Mister Profiler in action" she laughed "I think the guess room will be the room of the baby"

Their house had four rooms, the main room, Spencer's office, Max's studio where she paint or plan the projects for the Smithsonian and the guess room. Also have two bathrooms, one in the main room and other downstairs. A living room, a dinning room and the kitchen.

"Yeah that's a good option. That room is big enough for everything the baby would need" she nodded.

The rest of the week passed without incidents, they decided to hold the excitement so no one know before it was official.

The day if the appointment, Spencer and Max met at the hospital. While he arrived the nurse ran the blood test and Max was filling the paper they gave her.

He walked to her and sat next to Max "sorry the students asked a lot today and I needed them to understand everything for their assignment"

"It's ok. The doctor haven't finished yet with the last patient. After her it's our turn" she kissed his cheek.

She finished the paperwork and handed it to the nurse. Then wait some more until they called them.

They walked in the office and the doctor was reading the test in her computer "hello Mr and Mrs Reid. I'm Dr Hailey Underwood" she smiled at the couple "ok, according to your blood test, you are pregnant Maxine"

"Please call me Max" the doctor laughed softly and nodded.

"Ok Max, you are almost 8 weeks pregnant. We can check the baby, go to the next room, change and lay there. Mr Reid, there's a chair if you want to take a seat" he nodded and they stood up and walked there.

Some minutes later the doctor walked in and started the exam "well everything looks great, I think you will give birth in November" the doctor continue to check the baby and she stopped at some point looking the screen in shock.

"Is everything ok doctor?" Asked Max and Spencer at the same time.

"Yes everything is ok... I'm just surprised because you are going to have twins" she said trying to show them on the screen "it's not so clear right now but I saw another leg hiding behind" both parents were in shock but still happy to have twins. He kisses her head after the doctor finished the ultrasound "ok while you clean Max, I will write you a prescription for some vitamins and a list of foods you will need. Also your next appointment will be around 13 to 20 weeks to know the gender of your babies"

The doctor left the couple "oh my... I can't believe we will have 2 children" said Spencer surprised.

"Yeah me neither" he helped her get up and walked back to the office of the doctor where she was finishing.

"Ok there is everything you will need" she handed her the paper "set the appointment and take care. Enjoy this beautiful experience... Both of you" she shook their hands and they left.

"Should we tell everyone already?" He asked as he opened the door of his car.

"It's official now, so why not?" She got in and he walked to the driver seat getting in the car "beside. The BAU people are like your family, your mom needs to know as soon as possible and we can tell my family tomorrow night. Michelle told me last week they wanted to have a game night"

"Sounds like fun" Spencer decided to go to the nursery home his mother was in.

"We like to do it to be all together one day per week" she said looking out the window "or per month if we can't do it each week"

"I'm really enjoying your family traditions. They are so much fun" she held his hand "I'm glad tobbe part of them" she kissed his hand as they arrive to the nursery home of Diana Reid.

They both walked out and went holding hands in the place. The nurses greetings and congratulated them.

When they reached the reception the nurse there took them to the room Spencer's mom was.

When they walked in the woman jumped off the bed and walked straight to them. She was smiling big "when did you find out?"

"A week ago. But we wanted to make sure" commented Max then looked at him with a smirk "It still surprised me how moms know"

"It's a super power you unlock the moment you see those little eyes. You can read them like a book" said her rubbing her son's cheek "but come in and sit down, I need to know everything so far"

They did as she said and they told her about the honeymoon, Max showed her some pictures she took with her phone.

They told Diana about Max's new job at the Smithsonian. How they found out about their pregnancy and they told her she will be the proud grandmother of two babies.

"Oh my God... I will have two grandchildren. I can't wait to meet them" she smiled "I will have to find the perfect gift for them so they always remember grandma Diana" Max and Spencer smiled at that. Spencer still got sad thinking every time with her could be the last one, so he enjoyed them as much as he could.

"I'm sure everything from grandma Reid will be memorable for them, mom" said Spencer holding the tears and his voice from cracking.

"Honey don't cry. I'm so happy right now so don't mess up this moment" the three laughed. Then the nurse came to let them know they have to go. They hugged Diana and let the hospital.

They went to buy something to eat and when to the park.

They just enjoyed that day of joy. They will be parents and will have twins.

The next day Spencer texted his BAU family to asked them if they were up for lunch with him and Max. They were all agree and he told them to meet them at the Chinese restaurant, their favorite when they were in town.

When all were there and the order was set they talked, he even invited Penelope. There were so teasing from Tara about Luke and Penelope.

They all laughed at her blush and his awkwardness. They keep talking happily then Spencer decided to talk cleaning his throat "ok guys we invited you here to tell you something. Something very important" he said smiling at them "recently Max and I found out that..."

"We are expecting!" Said both at the same time.

It took the rest of the team some time to understand what they meant but when they did, they all congratulate them and hug them.

"And not only that..." Added Spencer. The team looked at him "according to the doctor, we will have twins"

"Oh my... So I will have two godchildren to spoil?" Asked Penelope.

Max laughed softly "yeah but don't spoil them to much" she held Spencer's hand "I'm glad they will have you all around because as I told Spencer, you are his family so you are all like uncles and aunts for them" JJ has some tears at that.

"I always wish Spence could be father one day. Since he held Henry and watching him with all the kids we ever helped, I just imagine him being a good father. Congratulations" she raised her cup and everyone did the same "for the new BAU babies" then they clinked their cups.

"We will have baby geniuses" said Penelope "Oh I volunteer to plan the Baby shower" Max nodded, not wanting to unleash her anger.

They continued to talk while eating and when they all finished the team returned to the office, Spencer drove Max and Penelope back to their work and he went back to the campus to teach.

At night they told Max's family and Sammy was beyond happy with the idea of have two cousins and promised to help his aunt Max when he can.

The night was very relaxing, they played Uno, Scrabble and other board games. Then Max and Spencer left early.

It was a busy day so they were both tired and felt asleep almost immediately.

A week later, Spencer was checking his students essays about the last class, while Max was a the Smithsonian, when he got a phone call.

The call was from Emily, he stood up to get more coffee while answering "hey Emily, is there a case?" He asked as he reached the kitchen.

"Hey Spencer, no we don't have a case. I was calling to know how are you and Max"

"We are great, she is dealing better the morning sickness and I had to buy a bunch of crackers for her. Also something weird happened. She said since we found out about the pregnancy, she can't handle the smell or even the taste of coffee"

"Oh my... And that's your addiction" she laughed "how are you managing it?"

"Thankfully my working hours are when she isn't here so I can drink it all day" they both laughed.

"I heard that could happens but also her wanting weird foods"

"True, she haven't asked me for something weird just yet"

"Great, but be prepare" he laughed "there's something else I need to tell you. I had been wondering how I will tell you this but I can't keep postpone it any longer"

"You can tell me anything, you know it"

"Yeah I do" Emily took a deep breath "The women's prison called me yesterday. They booked Catherine Adams' execution to this Friday. They said she didn't asked for her last meal, she was happy with what she got when she had that weird date with you" Spencer closed tight his fist around the cup "she asked for you to be there"

"I said I wanted to be there when that needle stick in her arm but now I'm not sure"

"I know she did horrible things to you and I will understand if you don't want to. Sleep on it and let me know. And ask Max. If I were her I would totally want to show off my ring to that bitch" Spencer could hear her smirk and could not help but smile.

"I'm sure she would stick that needle herself"

"I bet she would" Emily laughed "call me with your decision so I can inform the prison you will be there"

"Ok, bye Emily" they ended the call and went back to work. His mind still thinking about it.

At night he decided to cook something for her and when she arrived she was surprised by it.

"Are we celebrating something?" She asked looking at her husband.

"No I just wanted to have a night date and tell you something" he gave her a plate with baked chicken with mashed potatoes and a glass of water.

"Is it bad?"

"I don't know" he answered honestly "well I guess Emily and everyone in my team told you everything about Cat Adams" she nodded "when she was at the FBI offices, she said she plead guilty of 73 murders and request the death penalty" Max nodded, remembering Emily saying it "they booked it this Friday"

"Oh..."

"Yeah and Emily asked if I would like to go. I told her I would be there to happily see her death but I'm not sure it's worthy"

Max held his hand gently "you should go. That bitch needs to know she didn't win. She needs to know that we beat her"

"Yeah... But I don't.... Wait a minute... Are you suggesting to...?"

"Yes Dr. Spencer Reid, I want to go. In fact I would gladly change position with the doctor to stick it in myself" he laughed and nodded.

"Of course you would, then I will tell Emily to send our names to the prison" he kisses her hand.

They are changing from topic to topic then cuddle in the couch.

"Do you have any idea of how we should name our babies?" She asked playing with his fingers.

"Well I have two names I would like to use" she looked at him expecting "since there will be two babies. If we have a boy and a girl I would like Jason and Diana. Any of them could be first or second name I don't mind"

"And if we had two boys or two girls?"

"I'm not sure yet" he looked at her "and what about you?"

"Well I think I would like Rachel, that was my mom's name and my boy option could be Alexander, that was the name of an uncle who made me realize I should study art" she smiled "he was amazing and I miss him so much"

"Sounds perfect, so maybe we can play with those four options. Jason Alexander Reid and Rachel Diana Reid. And if we have two girls or two boys we can use them our two options as first name and just add a second name. What do you think?"

"I think it's perfect" she kissed him. Then they both went to their room and falls asleep hugging each other.

The next day Spencer called Emily and let her know the decision they made. Then she informed the prison.

In a few days he will have his revenge.

OOooOOooOO

Next will be the last! Cat will have one last appearance in Reid's life, I want to do an epic thing that makes her be angry, something like Hotch did in Riding the Lightning when he showed that criminal Sarah Jean saved her son.

Got my inspiration from this video: https://youtu.be/OcZj0KM4MuA

[littletayyswriting]

Title: Last Chance Surprise (3/3)

Author: LittleTayy

Rating: Mature

Characters: Addison Montgomery, Mark Sloan, Callie Torres, Derek Shepherd

Summary: The casual sex Mark and Addison had been engaging in before the no sex bet causes some unexpected results. Set during Season 3. AU. Canon Divergence. Maddison.

AN: There are semi detailed descriptions of labor and childbirth in the back half of this chapter. Just a little forewarning for those that might be uncomfortable reading that. 

Read On: AO3 or ff.net

Last Chance Surprise

~all that joy can bring~

They want to throw you a baby shower and it's the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard. Callie is insistent and to your surprise, so is Miranda. But you shake your head, the idea is absurd to you; you don't have enough friends here in Seattle for that to work, you think. If they throw you a baby shower, it'll just be you three and maybe Mark because you are most certainly not inviting any of those Goddamn interns (residents, you correct yourself but that'll take some getting used to). You don't know anyone else well enough to even think about asking them to celebrate your child and you'd thought you'd put a definitive end to the whole idea.

Except, you're turning into your driveway, well Mark is because at 27 weeks your belly has expanded greatly, and see several cars in front of your house. A quick, confused glance in Mark's direction and you can tell straight away something is going on. He pulls to a stop and you have to resist the urge to glare.

"Mark…" you start, voice wary but firm.

He simply turns to look at you and grins. "Now, Red. Don't get upset," he starts but you groan, cutting him off.

"What have you done?" You ask, voice sounding almost like a whine.

"Nothing!" He defends himself quickly, shaking his head. "But you know, Callie was very insistent...and Bailey kind of scares me," he tells you, dramatically playing up a little shiver.

You close your eyes and pout for a moment at his words. You'd said no to a baby shower and you'd thought they'd dropped it. But you suppose you should have known better; neither woman has ever let you get away with much since you've known them. You sigh then, opening your eyes and resolve to not be too mad at them; even though you're incredibly uncomfortable right now.

"Fine. Who exactly did they invite? Because if I see one intern," you ask threateningly. You know Bailey's interns are no longer technically interns but you can't help still thinking of them like they are.

"Nope. No interns or first year residents," Mark assures you, reaching over to give your hand a squeeze. "Although I think they did recruit Stevens to do some baking or something? I don't know," he tells you with a shrug. You simply roll your eyes because you're not surprised he doesn't know the details.

"Okay. But who else is here? Cause there's a few more cars then just Callie and Miranda…"

"Oh! Right. Callie, Miranda and Adele, obviously. They made me get in touch with your East Coast friends. So Savvy is here and I invited Nancy and Amy. Nancy came but I don't know if Amy did. And Naomi Bennett. Did you know her and Sam are divorced now too? She did not sound happy to hear from me..."

"Nancy actually came?" You ask, surprised most by the mention of her name. You kept in touch but you didn't think she'd come to your baby shower. She'd been very disappointed in you after her last trip to Seattle and you'd thought you'd ruined your relationship with her. You're even more surprised Mark is still in contact with her. Then again, the Shepherd women have always had a particular soft spot for Mark.

"Yeah," he nods, chuckling a little. "And they wanted to invite Bizzy. But don't worry, I told them I'd handle it. I didn't actually invite her, I wasn't sure if you'd uh...even told Bizzy and the Captain about the divorce yet. Let alone the baby, so," he tells you and you can't help but smile a little.

You had in fact notified Bizzy and the Captain of your divorce. But you had not informed them of your pregnancy. It isn't that you are ashamed, because you aren't, it's just that you don't quite know how to tell them you're pregnant by the man you'd cheated on your husband with. You have no doubt your mother would call it unseemly; it's what you'd been afraid of the first time. And you hadn't wanted to let it infect you with this pregnancy. You're happy and the baby is wanted, that's all that matters right now. You weren't ready for Bizzy to ruin that.

"Thank you," you breathe, giving him a small smile. You took a deep breath and made your way out of the car, deciding you should probably go in and face whatever monstrosity of a party your Seattle friends have decided to throw you. You're glad at least, that the party Mark's described, seems to be a small event. Even if this wasn't a surprise, you don't think you'd have wanted something big; you're in your seventh month of pregnancy and you're feeling more uncomfortable by the day.

Mark just grins, following you out of the car. He reaches out to grab your hand, pulling your body as close to his as your stomach allows. His arms wrap around you and he presses a kiss to your temple and you sigh into his chest. "If you really don't want a baby shower, I can get rid of them?" he suggests lightly, his tone is teasing but you know he would absolutely do it if you asked him too. You shake your head though.

"No, it's okay," you whisper against his shoulder before pulling back to look him in the eyes. "I just needed a moment to complain. It is very sweet, really. I just...didn't want them to go to all that trouble."

Mark doesn't say anything, just nods his head and hums in agreement. You let him take your hand and lead you towards your house. There's a little porch out the front and as you glance in the front window, you can see that your front room has been taken over. You sigh a little but follow Mark along into the house.

Though you've been reluctant about a baby shower, your hormones decide to flair up as you see the group of women sitting in your living room. The last two years have been such a whirlwind of change, you'd never expected this at all. Two years ago you'd still been married, fighting an ever growing attraction to Mark, living in New York and the possibility of children any time soon had seemed out of reach. Now though, you realise, you wouldn't ask for a different life.

There are tears welling up in your eyes and they only grow when Nancy, and Amy who Mark hadn't been sure would make it, spring up to greet you quickly. They move faster than any of the other women in the room and you can only put it down to years of practice at Shepherd family gatherings. Nancy gets to you first, she'd been the closer of the two, and wraps you in a hug, grinning at you.

"Look at you! You're so...pregnant. You look great Addie," Nancy tells you enthusiastically. She looks genuinely happy for you and you give her hands a squeeze. She's the only one in New York that had known how you'd longed for a child and you're sure this isn't how either of you ever expected it to happen.

"Move Nance!" Amy pushes her way into the embrace, hugging you tightly. "I can't believe you let him knock you up," she laughs, grinning widely and shaking her head as she glanced between you and Mark. You've always had a soft spot for Amelia and you'd thought you'd ruined your relationship with her when she'd caught you and Mark in a rather compromising position. It was not long before the night Derek walked in on you both but Amelia's never uttered a word.

You roll your eyes but you're grinning.

"What can I say? I'm very persuasive," Mark chimes in then and you scoff; as do Nancy and Amelia.

"Sweet talker," you tease, giving him a playful smile. You focus your attention back on your two favorite Shepherd sisters then. "Thank you both for coming. You...really didn't have to," you tell them softly, glancing between them both almost sheepishly.

"No need to thank us. In fact, I was starting to think you'd forgotten about us. Now, I know things were messy with you and Derek, but I still care for you. And you know Mark's basically a surrogate brother. You don't have to completely cut off contact," Nancy informs you, throwing a grin Mark's way. You shake your head at her words, knowing she is at least sincere about them; you're not sure if Liz or Kathleen would feel the same way. You also wonder if Derek knows two of his sisters are in town, you imagine that'd be an awkward conversation.

"Yeah. You're still my sister Addison. Even if my idiot brother divorced you," Amelia spits out, rather loudly. She never did have a very good filter. You simply shake your head at her.

"Alright ladies. I'll leave you all to it," Mark announces, grinning at the room full of women. He turns to you then, giving you a kiss. "Text me if you need rescuing, okay?" He whispers against your lips and you nod, grinning happily up at him.

"Don't worry. I will," you whisper back. "I'm curious how this bunch will mix," you add with a giggle, winking playfully then as you push him away.

He gets the message, winking and waving as he leaves. You watch him go and for a moment you wonder where he'll be off to. He doesn't really have any friends here in Seattle and you know he and Derek haven't fixed anything yet either. You frown a little when you realise most of the people he knows in Seattle are currently in your living room and you hate the thought of sending him off on his own. Maybe he'll go to the hospital but you don't like that idea much, but at least he'd keep himself busy. You resolve yourself to talk to him about his friendship status that night. As you've found out recently, it's important to have friends.

The baby shower is fun and it goes well. You mix and mingle with your small group of friends, especially Savvy and Naomi. You haven't talked to either of them in a while and you do feel bad about that. It's just that there was so much going on in your life since your move to Seattle. You're also pleased to find out that Amelia, as she informs you that's what she likes to be called, is clean and sober and finishing out her residency. You're impressed and happy for her.

Eventually though the shower winds down and they all leave. It was fun and everyone got along, though you're surprised by that. There were a lot of conflicting personalities in the room. Miranda and Callie leave first. The others, your connections to the East Coast insist on a brunch before they all have to fly off back home. Amelia wrinkles her nose at the suggestion and you love Naomi, but she doesn't seem all that keen on the idea either. So you figure brunch tomorrow will just be you, Savvy and Nancy - you're okay with that.

Just as they're leaving, Mark comes back. You can't help but raise an eyebrow at his seemingly perfect timing. You chat with Savvy for a moment more, your blonde friend extracting a promise from you to come visit New York when the baby is born. You agree, even as your attention is drawn to the little conversation Mark and Nancy seem to be having. You can't help but be curious. You wonder if Nancy is passing along a message from Carolyn Shepherd; the woman had never particularly taken a shine to you but you hope you haven't damaged Mark's relationship with her. She's the only mother figure he's ever known.

You want to ask him about it once both Savvy and Nancy are gone. You're waving them off in their rental cars from the front porch, feeling and looking very much like some kind of Rockwell painting. But you refrain. You think it's probably better to let Mark come talk to you about it himself, if he wants to. You know he doesn't have to tell you everything, especially about his feelings on the Shepherd family but you hope he knows you're there and willing to listen if he wants to. You'd never admit it to him, because he'd only tell you not to, but you worry about him sometimes. You don't think his whole life should just be you and the baby.

.

.

Derek is leaning against the nurse's station, a chart in his hands, as you make your way down the hall. You're returning a chart, popping it in the pile and letting yourself lean against the desk a little to rest. You're 33 weeks and four days pregnant and still working and still wearing your ridiculous heels. Both Mark and Dr. Trevino have tried to reason with you about the heels but so far you haven't given an inch, after all, your feet used to hurt all the time anyway. You're not about to admit how good it feels when you get to wear your sneakers during surgery. Not to them at least.

You can feel Derek watching you as you reach for another chart, one hand on your stomach where your daughter is kicking at your insides and the other gliding a pen over the pages. You try to ignore it but then you glance up and your eyes catch his and his expression is unreadable to you. It catches you by surprise, really. You've known him for so long, you never thought there'd come a time when you didn't know what he was thinking or feeling. But you suppose your relationships with him; romantic, sexual or platonic have come to an end. Even though you had thought you two could be friends, his distaste for your relationship, your pregnancy and for the father of your child, has proven otherwise.

"Are you okay?" He asks and you try not to show your surprise. He's barely talked to you in months, not since he realised that you and Mark were having a baby together. His eyes gesture towards the hand resting on your stomach.

"I'm fine," you say, as your daughter kicks inside you. "She's just kicking. She's very active," you tell him softly, if a little warily.

Derek just nods, going back to his own chart and you to yours. It's awkward and you can't focus now, stealing quick glances at your ex-husband. You'd never confronted him about what he'd said when you overheard him and Meredith arguing in the stairwell. You have a feeling he wouldn't take kindly to it. But you still feel the need to try and talk to him in some way, clear the air.

"Are you ever going to forgive us?" you blurt out huffily, before you can really register what you're saying. You look up at him now, standing straight and meeting his eyes. You choose to ignore the doctors and nurses milling about around you.

You watch him as he sighs, his jaw clenching and he brings a hand up to run through his hair. He doesn't look at you and frankly, that pisses you off. He's ignoring you and you hated when he did that when you were married and you hate it even more so now.

"Derek. Are you?" you pester sharply.

"No," you hear him say softly and you feel as if all the air inside your body has left you. "I don't think I can Addison," and he's looking at you now and you don't know what to say. Somewhere deep inside you, you hadn't actually expected him to say no. But the look on his face tells you he's serious.

"What?" you blurt out breathlessly. You're stunned and you know your mouth is hanging open and oh no...you can feel the tears forming in your eyes.

You watch him as he shakes his head and closes the chart with a loud slap. He pushes it away and returns his pen to the pocket on his white coat before turning to look at you seriously. He looks hurt and you're pretty sure you look the same.

"You both hurt me in such an inexplicable way Addison," Derek starts, his voice thick with emotion. You're surprised by that; he's been so cold and closed off to you both for months now. "Maybe I could have forgiven you both separately. But not...I can't. Not when you're together. Not when you're having a child together Addison. Not when the last 16 years of my life suddenly feel like a lie."

"Derek-"

"No. No! Addison. I'm not in love with you anymore but seeing you have his child? It's too damn much. Anybody else, you could be having anyone else's child but you're not. You're choosing to have his and...he was my best friend Addison. I just can't."

"He can still be your best friend Derek. He misses you," you try desperately, basically pleading with him now as he takes a step back from the desk.

You watch as he shakes his head sadly. "No, he can't. Not while you're having his child," he whispers, pain and sadness so evident on his face.

He turns around quickly then, turning his back on you as he makes his way down the hall. You stand there at the nurses station, tears streaming down your face now, feeling more pathetic than you ever have in your life.

.

.

Mark can tell there's something wrong and you know you should confide in him but this is about Derek and you don't want him to be angry or upset either. Though, you are surprised the gossip hasn't reached him yet that Derek made you cry in the middle of the surgical floor. There were plenty of witnesses around and you know the nurses' gossip network works fast.

Or maybe he does know and he's just giving you the chance to let you tell him yourself. Either way, you can see he wants to comfort you or help you in some way and you just can't let him do that. You had been trying to pave the way for a reconciliation between him and Derek but that apparently is not going to happen if what Derek said is true. And that is why you don't want to tell him because the last thing in the world you want to do is hurt Mark.

"Addie, babe," he says, reaching out a hand to grab yours. You have the instinct to pull away but don't because really, you do want some kind of comfort. You take a moment, breathing in deep and exhaling slowly before turning to look him in the eyes. Immediately you can tell that he doesn't know about what happened with Derek because there is only concern in his eyes and not the anger or hurt you expect would be there if he knew. "Tough day?"

His question makes you tear up a little and you truly curse the hormones running amok through your body. You nod a little and let him wrap you in a hug. He feels so strong and warm and his hand is rubbing up and down your back so soothingly you never want it to end. But you know you have to tell him about what happened.

"I...I tried to talk to Derek," you whisper out after a long moment in his arms. You pull back now, still wrapped up in each other, but now you're looking in his eyes. And the hope you see in them breaks your heart just a little bit more.

"Yeah?" Mark replies and you can tell he's trying to play it off cool and not sound eager. You hate this and you hate yourself for tearing them apart.

You shake your head. "He's still so angry Mark… I don't think he's going to forgive us," you tell him softly, gently.

But Mark frowns and shakes his head. He's still got so much hope that his relationship with Derek can be fixed. "He'll get over it. He has to eventually… He's still my best friend."

Your lips are pressed together and oh god you don't want to do this. But the false hope is going to tear Mark apart. The tears are back again.

"I don't think he will Mark. He said...he said as long as I was having your baby...he'd never forgive us," you manage to hiccup the words out, a hand pulling from his to wipe at your tears. "Damn it," you curse, shaking your head. This wasn't supposed to be about you. "I can't believe I'm crying again," you groan.

"Again?" You hear Mark say gently and you can't look at him as you nod. You realise a moment too late that there's an edge to his voice. You look at him quickly and you frown at his expression. He looks angry; the anger masking the hurt no doubt. "Derek made you cry?" He bites out and you go to shake your head because you don't know how he's jumped to that conclusion.

"Mark!" You start but he's already up and off the sofa and heading for the door. He slams it open and has taken off down the hallway by the time you've even managed to push yourself up off the sofa. You hate that getting up and down takes so much time for you now. Before you were pregnant you'd been able to keep relative pace with Mark. Now you're just slow.

You don't know where he's gone but you know he's looking for Derek. It didn't take a genius to figure that out. You waddle as gracefully out of your office as you can, hoping your boyfriend doesn't do anything stupid by the time you find him.

.

.

You're at home and you're alone and you haven't seen Mark since your office. You'd intended to find him but then you'd been called into emergency surgery that took hours and by the time you were out you were exhausted. That usually wouldn't stop you from looking for the man but being pregnant has taken its toll on you. So you simply head home and hope he'll come home soon.

It was getting late by the time Mark eventually showed up at home. You're on the couch, watching some rerun of an old sitcom when he makes his way inside. You hadn't been able to sleep, not knowing where he was or how he was doing. Watching him, you try to determine if he's drunk or not.

He strips off his leather jacket and makes his way towards you. His eyes are a little glassy but his coordination is still good. So he mustn't be drunk you decide, just a little buzzed. And it's only when he's sitting down and you can see his face properly that you notice the bruise on his cheek.

"Mark…" you start carefully, unsure about what you want to say. You think he should talk about it but you're not even sure he'll want to.

"I'm sorry I'm home so late," is all he says, moving to wrap his arms around you. He snuggles into you and you let him, a hand moving to rub up and down his back. "I love you Addison. I love you and our baby girl so much. Don't ever forget that, okay? I'll always, always want you both."

Your heart breaks for your lover at his soft words. You realise now that whatever happened between him and Derek earlier has truly shaken him. You can only imagine what nasty things Derek had said.

You press a kiss to the top of his head. "I know you do. I love you too. Our daughter knows how much you love her too. We're your family Mark. We'll always be yours. No matter what," you promise him, holding him tight.

There's nothing more important to you than Mark and your daughter now.

.

.

You're 40 weeks and five days pregnant and you want this baby out now. Oh, you know all the lines; babies come when they want to. You can't schedule a baby. It's placating bullshit and you will not hear of it. You have half a mind to go to the hospital and induce yourself.

The baby is happy and healthy and strong and she should've come five days ago. You're not even feeling any mild contractions and your damn cervix is still closed. Your daughter it seems is in no rush to leave you and you absolutely blame her Sloan side for that. It was in fact a Sloan that put you in this position to begin with and when you'd told Mark that, he'd smirked and replied that you hadn't seemed to mind the positions he put you in before.

You'd thrown a shoe at him and he'd been banished to the downstairs study for that.

Now you're slowly making your way downstairs and towards the study because you want your daughter out of you. You've tried multiple labor inducing 'remedies' over the last couple days and there's one you've still yet to try, one that you know Mark is pretty exceptional at. Not that you would ever tell him that; his ego does not need any more stroking. Finally you reach the bottom of the stairs and you're already dreading having to make your way back up them but for now, you've got a plan to see through.

"Mark," you call out, heading for the study and hoping he's still in there. You can't really blame him from hiding from you lately. You know your mood swings haven't been pleasant, especially once Richard had forced you into maternity leave. At least if you were working, you might've jostled your child into making an appearance in the world by now. As it is though, you're stuck at home all barefoot and over pregnant like some kind of domestic nightmare.

"Uh, yeah?" He replies after a moment, head popping out of the kitchen.

You frown a little, waddling his way. "What're you doing?" You ask curiously as you make it into the large kitchen.

"Making a snack!" He exclaims rather goofily, sweeping his hand towards the bench top filled with food. You raise an eyebrow because his snacks look more like he's just been foraging around in the fridge for whatever was in there. "Want something?" He asks carefully, because he knows you've been snappy lately and he'd rather not cause another shoe throwing scene like earlier.

"Yep," you say with a nod, looking him straight in the eyes. "I want you to have sex with me."

The words are blunt and to the point and you can't help but smirk at the way Mark freezes.

"What?"

"Have sex with me. I need this baby out," you whine, waving a hand low and gesturing between both your genitals.

"Addison…"

"What? We've tried everything else. Please Mark? If anyone can fuck me into labor, you can," you whine, hoping the ego stroking will do the trick. It usually does. Unfortunately, he's just looking at you kind of dumbly.

He shakes his head then, smirking in amusement and disbelief. It is not his trademark smirk though and you already know this isn't going to go the way you want it to. "That has got to be the least unsexy thing you've ever said to me," Mark tells you lightly, his snacks now forgotten.

You frown and pout and hate yourself for it. "So? I didn't think asking you to fuck me always had to be sexy," you complained. Your arms cross and you huff. "Besides, I'm stupidly pregnant. Nothing about that is sexy anyway," you tell him, the whine clear in your voice.

You're already moving towards the sturdy dining room table. It's just at the right height for you to slowly and carefully lift yourself on top of it. You're wearing a dress and you'd taken your underwear off upstairs. You're ready to go, if only you could convince him to fuck you.

"Addison…" he says your name in such a way that makes you want to groan. Here you are offering yourself up for sex and for once he doesn't want to. It's ridiculous.

You intend to ignore the extenuating circumstance of being overly pregnant. Because really, he put the baby in you, surely he can help you get her out. As far as you're concerned it seems only fair.

"Mark," you reply in the same tone of voice, glaring at him.

He makes his way closer to you, stopping between your open thighs and resting his hands on your knees. He looks hesitant but you can see his resolve weakening.

"Please Mark? I don't want to have to be induced. But I want to meet her already. You're just helping. It doesn't even affect her. Just...poke around down there a little," you tell him, pleading with him really.

You enjoyed being pregnant. You never expected you'd be so desperate to not be anymore.

The laugh surprises you. You hadn't been paying attention to him until you heard his laugh and you frown. It's a full blown, belly laugh and you can't help but be confused as you look at his face.

"What are you laughing at?" You ask a little defensively.

Mark catches his breath, his face still tinged pink at the sudden outburst. He's smiling though, rather happily and he steps closer.

"Just the situation. This was not how I was expecting my afternoon to go after the shoe throwing this morning," he teases lightly.

You simply huff in response. It figures he'd be laughing at you.

You're caught off guard by his kiss though. It's passionate and sweet and you can feel his hands moving up your thighs. You're starting to think the dining room table was not a sensible choice but it's too late to change location now.

"If you really want me to...I'll try to fuck you into labor," Mark says with a snort. You roll your eyes, already regretting your choice of words from earlier. You should've known he'd use them against you.

Instead of replying, you simply lean back and let him get to work.

.

.

You're pouting. It's been four hours since you and Mark had sex and you're pretty sure nothing has happened. You were counting on Mark's sex powers to put you into labor. And he wasn't even around to try it again.

He'd been called in on an emergency burns case not long after you'd had sex. He worried about leaving you on your own but you'd convinced him to go. You hadn't felt so much as a twinge from the sex; the orgasms he'd given you hadn't even relaxed you for that long either.

You're still so very pregnant and you love your baby girl, really you do. But you need her out of your body. You need to meet her and hold her and kiss her sweet little head. The very idea of you getting to hold your child seems almost impossible to you at the moment - at this point you're pretty sure you're going to be pregnant forever.

Tomorrow though. Tomorrow you will go into the hospital and you will be induced. You've decided it. There's a sharp jab to your insides and you rest your hand over the spot, rubbing a small circle. It seems your daughter isn't too fond of the idea but you don't care; you're going to hold her, physically, in your arms within the next two days. If you don't you fear you might just lose your mind.

You are so uncomfortable it's not funny anymore. The dining table sex was definitely a bad idea, the way your back is cramping every so often is just proof. Either that, or you're getting old and you don't really want to think about that. You're still in your thirties, no matter how close to 40 you actually are.

The back cramps start to worry you when they become more frequent and more painful. It's taken you longer than you'd care to admit that they're actually contractions. Your water hasn't broken yet though and you can't imagine you're very dilated either; not when the contractions are still so far apart. In your expert opinion, and it is expert, you've got some time before you need to be in a hospital.

So, you head upstairs to make sure your bag is packed and so is the baby's. The contractions are still far enough apart that you can get things done between them; like tidy up the bedroom. It's not even that messy but you need something to distract you, to focus on so that it's not just all about the oncoming pain.

By the time your water breaks though, it's been a few hours and Mark still isn't home. The pain is a little sharper now and a little closer together. You don't think you should be driving yourself to the hospital. You have a quick shower and pull on a comfortable maternity dress you've been favoring, knowing you'll have to take it off anyway. The pain intensifies and you're going to have to call someone.

You search through your contacts but Mark is in surgery and so is Callie. Miranda is assisting Mark and Richard isn't able to get away from the board and Adele is out of town. You're starting to think you need more friends in Seattle. You're trying to keep calm but you really should be on your way to the hospital by now and so you dial a number you didn't think you'd have to use.

It's ringing and you consider for a moment that Derek may not pick up. Oh God, the thought occurs that you might actually have to call one of the interns; Karev or Stevens. Even Yang or O'Malley. You'd even suck it up and call Meredith Grey if you had too.

He picked up! "What do you want Addison?" His tone is full of bite and you wince a little. You already know he's not going to be happy about this.

"I'm in labor," you start but he cuts you off.

"Congratulations," he spits out and his tone doesn't sound congratulatory at all. But you do not have time to dwell on his petty aggressiveness.

"Shut up Derek!" You snap, then hiss a little as a contraction hits. That was the most painful one yet. "I'm in labor and I'm home alone. I can't drive myself to the hospital and no one else is available. I...I need your help. Please Derek?" You're not begging but sincerely asking for his help.

There must've been something in your tone of voice because after a beat he speaks.

"Alright. I'll...I'll be there soon. What's your address?"

You rattle it off. It hadn't even occurred to you that he didn't know where you and Mark lived. That he'd never been to the house. It's ridiculous, of course, considering he hadn't wanted anything to do with the both of you for months now. Still, somewhere in the back of your mind you just assumed he knew. After all those years together, it's odd now to think you're no longer a part of each other's lives.

A contraction hits sharply and all thoughts are gone.

You focus on your breathing and when it's done, you pick up your bags and your phone and slowly and carefully make your way down the stairs. You lock up the house and wait outside on the porch. It's not long after you sit down that Derek pulls up and jumps out of the car; he looks worried and you're surprised.

"Are you okay?" He asks and though his tone is gruff, you can sense the underlying worry that permeates his words.

You're in the middle of saying yes when a contraction sweeps over you and you groan. The pain is getting worse with every few contractions. Instead of saying anything else, he hops up the few porch steps and grabs your bags, ushering you towards the car. You always assumed he'd be with you while you were in labor, you'd just never imagined it'd be with another man's child.

By the time you get to the hospital the contractions are close to ten minutes apart. You were trying to time them but you know it hasn't been accurate. Derek helps you out of the car then and into the hospital; for a moment you curse the fact that you'd chosen to have the baby at Seattle Grace. Especially when you see the looks on the faces of the nurses and other doctors as you pass by. You wonder, mildly, who'll be winning the bet on when the baby is born.

"Page Mark!" You hiss out the moment you see Karev on your way up to maternity. He looks surprised but then nods, giving you a grin and a thumbs up.

Derek for his part is still with you until they situate you into a private room. After all you are the Head of OB/GYN and Neonatal; you'd even handpicked your birthing team. An OB Fellow you trust comes in then, to check you over while you wait for Dr. Trevino to arrive.

As soon as your legs are up in the stirrups though, you shoot a glance at Derek, still standing by the door. "Thank you, Derek. Really! But you can go now," you tell him, giving him a genuine and grateful smile.

Your gaze turns back to the fellow then as she checks you over. You're about to ask how dilated you are when you hear a clamor at the door. You turn and grin widely as you finally see Mark, still in his dark blue scrubs. You don't think you've ever been happier to see him.

"Addie!" He exclaims, coming to your side as Derek slips out of the room, forgotten.

You reach out for him as a contraction overtakes you and you hiss, your body tense as the pain washes through you. As soon as you feel his hand in yours, you're squeezing as the contraction goes on. They're definitely lasting longer now and coming faster. You're not even worried about the OB Fellow between your legs anymore.

The contraction passes and you're able to think clearly once again. You try to keep your breathing somewhat normal because hyperventilating at this point would not be helpful. At all.

"Dr. Montgomery, Addison," the Fellow starts, catching your attention. You look down at her expectantly. "You're only 5cm dilated at the moment, okay? It may still be a while. Someone will be in to monitor you periodically and Dr. Trevino is on her way," the Fellow tells you and you grin.

"Thank you," you tell her sincerely as you shift your legs down from the stirrups. Your back is aching and you want nothing more then to get up and off your back. You sit there for a moment, Mark shifting to sit just beside you, a hand moving to massage your lower back.

"You're in labor," Mark states almost giddily and you don't have to look at him to know that he's probably got a giant goofy smile on his face.

"Finally," you reply, shifting slowly off the bed so that you're standing now. It feels better, to be standing even if you feel huge and sore.

You're standing in front of him now, a silly smile on your own face as it hits you that you're finally in labor and you're finally going to get to meet your little girl. Excitement bubbles up inside you.

"So...I guess I really did fuck you into labor, huh?" Mark teases, eyes sparkling as he laughs and you can't help but laugh along with him. You knew the moment the words left your mouth that he was never going to let you live them down.

Your laugh however is cut off by a gasp as a contraction rolls through your body. You feel like there's something cinching around your whole body and you lurch forward a little, reaching out to steady yourself on his arms. He's holding you by your elbows and you're doing everything you can to breathe through the contraction and you'd never realised how hard it could be to breathe when you're in pain.

"You okay Adds?" Mark asks and the glare you give him is enough to make him wince. "Right. Sorry. Stupid question," he murmurs, shaking his head. He's still got a hold on you though and you lean forward as much as you can to rest your head against his shoulder once the contraction has passed.

You're being monitored and you know it won't be too long before another contraction hits. He keeps one hand steadying you as the other moves around your body, his fingertips massaging into your back and you sigh in appreciation. It feels good for the moment.

"Can you help me into a gown?" you ask him quietly, once you're alone. Nurses have been flitting in and out of the room until now. You think you might just ban any interns or first year residents from even stepping foot on this floor; you wonder if you could get Richard to agree to that. You are his favorite after all.

"Yeah," Mark replies with a nod, slowly moving out of your grip.

Instead of standing, you decide to walk a little around the room. You find it helps if you're moving around and really, you shouldn't be surprised by that. You've seen enough laboring pregnant women in your time that you've seen pretty much every trick in the book to help get through labor.

Mark lays the hospital gown across the bed and you grimace a little. You know it's easier to wear it but you can't help but hate the idea of actually putting the flimsy gown on and being seen in it. Your vanity takes hold for a moment and you can't believe that other people, people you work with, are going to see you in this state. Hell, you're not happy that Mark is going to see you in this state either; there is nothing attractive about being in labor.

"Need help taking that off, babe?" Mark asks, gesturing to the dress you're wearing as you walk slowly around the room. You look down at it and realise you probably won't be able to lift it up and off yourself.

"Yes. Thanks," you murmur, nodding at him. You make your way to the bed and let him take the hem of the dress and lift it up and off. Your lips are pressed together, hating that he's seeing your body like this, even as he helps you into the gown tying the back closed.

And then your hand is grasping at his as a contraction hits. You're squeezing tightly and Mark's got a hand on your waist, keeping you steady as you try and breathe through it. Your brows are furrowed together and somehow, this contraction feels worse than any of the others you've had so far. You're gasping through the tail end of it when the door opens and you're ready to yell at whoever it is, until Dr. Trevino comes into sight.

"Alright Addison. Once you're ready, I'm going to need you back up on the bed so I can check you. Okay?" Dr. Trevino tells you calmly, giving you a serene smile that you kind of hate. She's snapping on gloves when you finally move to sit up on the bed, Mark helping you and as soon as your legs are in the stirrups, you grab at the sleeve of his scrubs and tug him backwards.

"What was that for?" Mark complains good-naturedly, frowning at you a little.

"You are forbidden from going any further then my waist. Do you hear me?" You snap at him but you are deadly serious. You know exactly what your vagina is going to look like and you will not have him seeing that. "I don't want you seeing me...down there," you insist.

And then Mark, the absolute idiot that he is, has the audacity to laugh at you.

"It's not like I've never seen your vagina before babe," he tells you and the urge to hit him has truly never been so strong.

"I'm serious Mark!" you snap, glaring up at him. "You take one glance between my legs and I will kill you," you threaten him slowly, your words clearly enunciated so he could understand. It must've worked because he frowns but nods his head.

"Alright, alright. I'll stay up here. No peeking. Got it," Mark responds, shifting so he's looking more at your face and his back is towards your legs.

"You're still only at 5cm Addison," Dr. Trevino speaks up from between your legs, standing up from the stool she'd been sitting on. "It may be a while yet. This is your first birth, you know this can last a long time," she tells you as she moves to check the machine monitoring your contractions. An eyebrow raises though as she looks over the results. "Your contractions seem to be coming closer together though. So hopefully you'll start dilating faster. Until then though, you'll just have to wait. Do you want any pain relief? We've got the nitrous oxide if the pain is getting to be too much, now."

You shake your head though. The pain is bad but you don't think it's bad enough for pain medication just yet. You're sincerely hoping the pain doesn't get too much worse because you really don't want to have to get an epidural. You hope the nitrous oxide will be enough, even though it's a fairly uncommon pain relief method.

"Not yet. I think I'm okay…" you tell her, giving her a smile. You chuckle a little. "I'll let you know when I need it though. Don't worry."

Dr. Trevino simply grins and nods as she heads out the door.

.

.

It's been four and a half hours and you feel like crying. The last time Dr. Trevino checked you, you were at 7cm and though that's good, the pain has ratcheted up even more since then. You're doubled over, forearms leaning on the bed, hands clasped together tightly as you suck in as much nitrous oxide as you can - a contraction rippling through you.

"Oh fuck," you groan, tugging the inhaler from your mouth and dropping it on the bed beside you.

Mark is beside you in an instant, large warm hand rubbing circles on your lower back, fingertips massaging at your taut skin and you have to admit that it feels good. Your hair has been pulled up into a messy, haphazard bun on the top of your head but a few strands of hair have escaped their confines, you push them back, letting your head rest on your hand for a moment. The time between contractions is getting smaller and your ability to keep moving is slowly waning too. You know Mark wants to ask you if you're okay but after the last time you'd snapped at him, you know he's keeping his mouth decidedly shut. You're thankful.

You're trying to breathe normally and then another contraction hits you. A whole minute earlier then expected and you don't even realise you're rocking backwards and forwards, tears falling from your eyes. It's too late for an epidural now and you're starting to regret a little that you chose not to have one. But this may be your only child and you're going to get to experience everything. The thought kind of terrifies you.

"Get...Trevino," you gasp out, once the contraction ends. You feel Mark moving away from you and you clamp a hand around his wrist. "Not you," you snap and you can't help the irrational anger that shoots through you.

Instead a nurse goes and Mark helps you manoeuvre up onto the bed so that Dr. Trevino can check you once again. Your legs are in the stirrups and your arm is flung over your face as a bout of nausea sweeps through you. God, you really don't want to be sick right now.

"Check me," you order and in any other circumstance, your tone would not be so gruff. But you've been in labor for something like 12 hours now and you just want your baby out of you.

Dr. Trevino smiles at you calmly, snapping on her gloves as she settles on the stool at the other end of the bed. "Okay, let's have a look. Oh. You're at 9cm now Addison. That's good. Just a little bit longer and you'll be ready to start pushing," Dr. Trevino states cheerfully. And you can't help but wonder if this is how you sound to laboring mothers and whether they hate you as much as you're currently hating Dr. Trevino.

You can feel a contraction coming and grasp around for the nitrous, sucking in as much as you can before the pain rips through you. You close your eyes, squeezing your hands tightly as you try to breathe through the pain. Mark is right beside you, stroking your hair and you can't even manage to swat him away. Dr. Trevino is still in the room, checking over the monitors but for a moment, it was like she didn't even exist, that's how much pain you were in.

The urge to bear down comes over you when your next contraction hits but you frown because you know you're not ready yet. They're only 3 minutes apart now but you know you're not fully dilated yet, Dr. Trevino had told you… "I want to push!" you gasp out worriedly, catching Dr. Trevino's attention.

You struggle to push yourself up into a sitting position as Dr. Trevino takes a seat. Mark is pressed against your side, keeping you as upright as you can go. Dr. Trevino checks you again and shakes her head.

"You're still only 9cm Addison. Don't push yet, okay? Do your breathing through it," she instructs you and you know that. Logically. But you're not 100% sure you'll be able to follow through with it.

You nod but really, you're not sure if you can comply.

Through contractions and puffs of nitrous oxide time seems to move fast then because before you know it, though it's been about half an hour, Dr. Trevino announces that you're finally at 10cm. She's far too joyful in your opinion; when all you can feel is tired and pain.

"Alright Addison, on your next contraction, you're going to have to push. Understand?" Dr. Trevino tells you and you can barely respond. Mark slips onto the bed behind you, bracketing your body solidly. You grasp at one of his hands, you don't even know which one, as a contraction shoots through you and you start to push.

It's the oddest sensation and the pain is so intense you think you might just pass out. You know you're squeezing the hell out of his hand but you can barely comprehend it as a grunt escapes you. The contraction passes and you sink back against his body; he's still holding you up, just like he always has. Now, he's doing it so you can bring his child into the world.

You barely have time to suck in the nitrous before another contraction comes - sharper and longer and you're pretty sure you're screaming now. You're pushing and you can barely hear anything over the sounds that you're making. You're sobbing when the contraction finally passes, tears and sweat mingling down your cheeks.

"You're doing so, so good Red. I know it hurts, but you gotta keep going," Mark is whispering to you, encouraging and you shake your head tearily, still sobbing from the pain.

"Oh, fuck off," you gasp out just as another contraction hits.

Your hand tightens around his as you cry out. You rock forward, pushing just as Dr. Trevino is telling you to. It sounds like she's a million miles away.

"Look at me Addison. You're almost there," Dr. Trevino calls to you and you open your eyes, making eye contact with her. And suddenly you're back in place, feeling absolutely everything. "On your next contraction, I need a big push okay?" she tells you and you realise you can feel the baby. You have an instinct to reach down and feel her but you know she's not there, just yet.

The next contraction comes and you're screaming again, pushing as hard as you can through the pain. You're bracing yourself against Mark's body as you do so.

Dr. Trevino is smiling. "I can see baby's head," she announces as you smile. You lean forward, reaching an elegant hand down to feel for yourself. Dr. Trevino guides your hand and then you feel it, your baby girl's head, it's slimy but she's so close.

"Alright, big push Addison. Then her head will be out," Dr. Trevino tells you and you nod.

The next contraction comes quickly and you're pushing, gasping through the pain and holding Mark's hands tightly. "And her head's out!" Dr. Trevino announces, "Another push Addison, as hard as you can."

"I can't...I can't," you sob, even as your body contracts and you push down. All you can feel is pain, it's radiating throughout your whole body.

"Yes you can. Come on Addie. One more push and we'll have our baby girl," Mark is telling you and all you can do is cry and push and you can't believe women have continued to do this throughout time.

With one last strangled sob and push you feel your baby finally slip out of you. You gasp, eyes opening, though bleary with tears you see Dr. Trevino holding your daughter. It seems like forever and then your daughter starts crying and you lean forward, reaching for her. Dr. Trevino hands her over and you cuddle her close against your bare chest, you don't know when you'd untied your gown but you don't even care.

Your daughter is here and she's perfect and all you can do is cry.

All you can do is gaze at her as the nurses clean her up. She's still in your arms and you can feel Mark behind you and when you turn to look at him he's got tears in his eyes too. "Addie," he murmurs, "she's perfect. Thank you."

And you're both just staring at the baby as she roots around and starts to suckle at a nipple. You gasp a little at the sensation, surprised that she took to it so easily. You're tired and sore but in that moment, with your baby at your breast and Mark at your back, everything feels so perfect.

"Do you want to cut the cord Dad?" Dr. Trevino asks and you can feel Mark nod eagerly. He shifts a little, so he has better access and cuts the cord with ease.

You were so focused on your daughter you'd barely noticed what was happening around you. She's fallen asleep now though and you know it's time she gets checked over. You don't want to part from her though and your lip trembles as a nurse comes to take her. Dr. Trevino must notice and gives you a soft smile.

"You know she's just getting checked over and recorded, don't worry. We'll have her back in your arms soon."

"I know," you breathe and you do but that doesn't mean your emotions aren't playing on you.

.

.

Your daughter has been apart of the world for several hours now and you and Mark still haven't stopped marvelling at her. At 8 pounds and 4 ounces, she was on the larger end of the average scale and you're not surprised. You nor Mark are particularly small people.

You're in your own private room and it's just been you, Mark, the baby and Dr. Trevino there. You hadn't wanted any visitors yet, something you know must be hard considering you've had your baby in the hospital where you both work. But you haven't named her yet and you don't want to introduce her until you do.

A name though keeps escaping you. You can only seem to focus on watching her, Mark too. She's got all ten fingers and all ten toes and brilliant dark blue eyes and the cutest little mouth and the Sloan nose and a dusting of dark red hair on her head. She's perfect and you can't quite believe you and Mark have created her. It's all so surreal. And you know you need to name her but you just want it to be the three of you for a few moments longer.

"She's perfect Addie," Mark whispers to you as he cradles her in his arms. He's got his shirt off, leaving him in only his scrub pants, rocking her beside your bedside; the skin to skin contact had really stuck out to him.

Watching him watch your daughter, holding her so gently and carefully, sends warmth through your body. You're so utterly in love with him; even more so watching him with your daughter. He's going to be a wonderful father.

"She is and she needs a name…" you murmur, leaning back in the bed, content to watch the man and his daughter. You can't help but think that the only place safer then your arms are his for your baby girl.

"We had a shortlist didn't we?" he murmurs back, glancing up at you briefly before his gaze drops back down to the baby in his arms.

You nod. "We did," you reply, a name from the shortlist ringing clear through your mind. "What about Kendall? Kendall Montgomery Sloan," you suggest and the name sounds right.

Mark hums, moving to sit down on the bed beside you, handing off your daughter to you carefully. "Kendall Klaudine Montgomery Sloan," Mark echoes back and you raise an eyebrow at the added name.

"It was my grandmother's name. On my mother's side," Mark explains with a shrug and you nod back. It's a perfect name and you think it fits her wonderfully.

"Perfect. That's your name Kendall," you whisper to your daughter and you both laugh as she gurgles in response, eyes opening wide to stare at you both. "I think she likes it," you say lightly, grinning up at Mark.

"I think she definitely does," he murmurs, nodding. "I love you both so much Addison," he tells you, pressing a light kiss to your forehead. You smile at him, leaning into his side a little as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. He leans forward and presses a light kiss to Kendall's forehead too, her little face squishing up adorably at the contact.

"I love you both too,' you say and it's true. You've never, in your life, felt so much love as you do now for Mark and your daughter. For you, right now, everything is absolutely perfect.