#i'm a gamer for fuck's sake

[turtlemagnum]

i feel like "normal" sports video games have been about the same amount of tedium since they've been making that shit for the second generation consoles, e.g. atari and intellivision and such. like don't get me wrong, i can love a good sports game when it involves mario or punching the shit out of a lanky frenchman, but when that shit strives for realism???? like, real sports are boring as shit as is, now you're expecting me to actively engage with them??? boring. boring as all hell. and every year studios are pumping millions of dollars into making basketball sweat more and more realistic. i feel like if you took all the money that went into sports and sports video games, you could solve homelessness in at least like 3 big countries, but no we've gotta make sure people are made millionaires for playing with balls and writhing in green flavored electrolyte liquid when they play with balls good enough. it's a wretched industry and while i don't think it should be like, illegal or anything, i just wish my fucking taxes didn't go to it. like it's not as bad as the military shit, but i feel like if we took like a tenth of the military budget and like half of the sportsball budget we could have free healthcare and shit, but no! we've gotta spend money on playing balls forever!!! there is no better way to spend my tax money, apparently!!! fuck off

[gender-euphowrya]

kinda fucks me up how women spent so fucking long battling to have their place in the gaming community be recognized, laying the stereotypes that they're less skilled/naturally less interested in games than men to rest

only for society to be like "okay we can acknowledge gamer girls But they have to have pink chairs cat-ear headsets and play farming sims"

[sekaicards]

perhaps i should add this needs to be a complete story with an entire detailed overarching character delopment arc. like 8 pages or something he said. and it's due tomorrow. just so you guys get a whole view of my current hellscape dilemma

[pienhime]

my ten manga/game/anime/etc recs for jirai

hiii long time no long ass recs post! i wanna recommend media that is popular w landmine types for newbies to the subculture, and recommendations for those who might have been here long enough to know the most popular media within jirai subculture and want some recommendations beyond that!

so without further ado...

1. Tomorrow, I Will Become Someone's Girlfriend

TW: unsafe sex work, abusive relationships, body dysmorphia, self harm, substance use, misogyny, and parental death

Okay you knew this was coming. It's probably the most popular manga amongst jirai girls as it literally is about Kabukicho, sex work, trauma, and jirai culture. Everyone's seen Yua at this point, and she is a jiraicon, but the other characters are interesting and may be relatable to jirai girls too!

2. Mahou Shoujo Site

TW: sexual assault, r@pe, abusive family dynamics, transphobia, self-harm, suicide, murder, gore, bullying, human sacrifice

This is probably also familiar to people in the jirai community and yandereblr. Super mega fucked-up parody of magical girl animes with a cast of memorable but mentally unhinged and often morally gray-to-terrible characters with a hopeful message at the end. The most unfortunate girls around Japan get given magical girl items to improve their lives, but using them drains their life force- and someone's on the hunt for magical girls, all while the countdown to the apocalypse ticks down on the mysterious magical girl site. DO NOT BOTHER WITH THE ANIME, JUST READ THE MANGA!!

3. Needy Girl Overdose/Needy Streamer Overload

TW: substance abuse, self-harm, murder (potentially), suicide, non-graphic sexual content, abuse (player is being abused by the main character), unreality, internet addiction

Duh. I can't not have this game on here! Created by a renowned menhera subculture artist and featuring Jirai icons Ame-chan and KAngel, this game has blown up unexpectedly since its release, getting art exhibits and collabs with brands like DearMyLove. You play as P-chan, Ame/KAngel's boyfriend and producer, while you try to help her achieve her goals of becoming an influencer and prevent her from killing herself or going insane along the way. If you've been in a relationship like this as the P-chan, I'm sorry we relate but this game was super therapeutic to me so maybe it'll help you process too!! Also the soundtrack fucks. Hard.

4. Neeko wa Tsurai Yo!

TW: agoraphobia, existentialism, substance use (kind of), ecchi (of both adult and high schooler characters), suicidal ideation, internet addiction

This is a super underrated personal favorite I've posted about a few times before. It follows hikki-NEET gacha gamer Niiko, as she faces jealousy of her little sister for being farther in life than her as a high-schooler, the trauma of a particularly horrific job rejection keeping her from going outside or trying for another job, and being totally fed up with her life. It's a pretty depressing read for the first half, but becomes a realistic story about recovery by the end.

5. Wristcut Warriors: Menherachan

TW: suicide attempts, self-harm (duh), parental abuse, parental death, parental neglect, attempted sexual assault, mild gore, societal ableism/sanism

Much more popular in the menhera subculture than anywhere else, but still popular enough with landmine types to be included, and a personal comfort series of mine. This is a satire manga about three teenage magical girls who have to self-harm to transform, meant as an allegory for how suffering and self-sacrifice for the sake of upholding societal norms is seen as more noble in Japan than speaking out etc. It's pretty short with only 20 chapters and some supplemental material, and tons of merch collabs but due to Ezaki being the actual fucking worst i encourage you to only but fanmerch and second-hand.

6. Danganronpa

TW: murder, suicide, ableist depiction of DID, misgendering (kind of, im not getting into ******* discourse so ill put it jic), SA, addiction,and general violence and blood

I'm biased as a Danganronpa multi-kin and selfshipper but I personally think every jirai should play Danganronpa, read the supplemental materials and watch DR3 if they can. Quirky teens with mental issues locked in a school and forced to kill each other or themselves? Prime insanity and mindbreaking ensues, with some really cool characters coming out of the franchise. Despite the premise, theres a pretty hopeful message.

7. Oshi no Ko

TW: stalking, teen pregnancy, exploitation of minors, suicide attempts, murder, terminal illness, age gap relationships, bullying, abortion, parasocial relationships, and... sigh... pseudo-incest is apparently in the manga as well

If you are into idol anime and expect your standard cinderella story about passionate girls and guys hitting it big... Oshi no Ko isn't the idol anime you're used to. This doesn't even follow the hit idol herself- rather, her two children who are reincarnated fans. They have to find their way in the exploitative and often dark showbiz world while trying to solve their mother's murder.

8. Bocchi the Rock!

TW: agoraphobia, alcohol abuse

I only watched this one recently, but it's already an all-time fav. It follows agoraphobic and severly socially anxious Hitori (aka Bocchi), and her newfound friends as they do their best to become a successful local band! They make odd friends along the way and Bocchi starts to try to recover and better herself, with often comedic failures along the way.

9. TUYU's interconnected songs

TW: abuse, substance abuse, unsafe SW, dysmorphia, suicide, self harm, parasocialism

Okay so... ik the timing is bad but I meant to make this list ages ago and this was on it so... a lot of the TUYU songs and MVs are interconnected! Some specifically cover jirai kei and ryousangata otaku topics! My favorite songs and MVs are the ones involving my favorite characters, Anhiro and Anzu, who are heavily featured in the Under Mentality album.

10. School-Live!

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!! I RECOMMEND GOING IN BLIND FOR THIS ANIME SPECIFICALLY!!

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TW: unreality, major character death, parental death, self-harm, animal death, graphic depictions of delusions and hallucinations

I loved the anime, so I picked up the manga recently. I'm only a little ways in, but I want to complete it since the anime didn't cover it all! You don't even know the plot until the final seconds of the first episode, where it's revealed that Yuki is the only member of the squad who doesn't realize what's going on- she's not in school for class, she's living there for shelter in a zombie apocalypse. Oh, and she sees dead people. She has moments of clarity, and the story often follows other characters' memories and POVs, so you still get to have a clear look into what happened and what's going on for real.

That was my list of my current top ten media recommendations for jirai kei! Please lmk if you decide to give any of these a try! Remember that I also regularly post music recs under #music too! Bye-bye!!

[sonjalikestodraw]

Heehee sweary gamer rage boy funny, lemme just *trips over the Thorn chapter and falls in love with Cheated*

Design notes:

Based on a street pigeon; pigeons were once domesticated and "cheated" by humanity.

As a part of Slayer's psyche, represents Anger Born of Worry + Sense of Justice/Fairness

Razor shredded his outfit :(

Let's do some fashion crimes! He's in White Tie casino attire. Gambling theming fits his risktaker mindset, while the formal wear is symbol for how he's a stickler for the rules and hates random bullshit.

BUT he wears a (gasp) Black Tie-style blood-red cummerbund. Because I like cummerbunds. It represents getting stabbed in the gut in chapter 1.

Wherever Slayer gets chopped, Cheated gets scarred. Notably in-game our knife hand gets lopped off so that one scar is always there, along with our throat getting slit. (He'll take it for Slayer's sake, but he's gonna complain about it the whole time)

If he hasn't met Razor or Nightmare, like in other Chapter 3 routes, the cummerbund is white and his outfit is intact. "Fuck off Opportunist, I'm getting Thorn outta here!"

Fun fact: he's a trans dude ~

Like Oppy, he's in modern clothing instead of vaguely medieval/ren faire like the rest, because of how he talks like a gamer trying to exploit mechanics.

Barefoot to match Razor.

Has Hot-blooded Sideburns.

The dyed sidecut is a reference to various let's players, and also just looks nice. I think it suits him to have a punk hairstyle that he can meticulously maintain, yet claw at and mess with when he's frustrated (which is... all the time).

You'd best believe that when he gives Razor The Look, he pushes back his hair :P

[minus-plus-zer0]

Bakugou Plays Stardew Valley

| Masterlist | The Bakusquad Gaming Group Masterlist | | Previous | Next | ♡ Genre: Fluff ♡ Pairing: Gamer!Bakugou x Gamer!Reader ♡ Tags: Crossover (MHA x multiple franchises), gaming AU, Quirkless AU, aged up (Any gaming crossover chapters will be skippable if you don't recognize the franchise. These chapters are one-shots that can be viewed without reading the other chapters.)

Stardew Valley didn't appear on Bakugou's radar until you convinced him to give it a shot (at least for your sake).

You two would work as farmers on Bakugou's rundown field, trying to restore the land as per his in-game dead grandpa's wishes. Both you and Bakugou designed your farmers' appearances after your real life selves and you found it so cute to see Bakugou in his true pixel form.

At first, you two walked everywhere together at your unbelievably slow pace. While Bakugou went around buying seeds and foraging, all you wanted to do was greet all the cold, hostile villagers. For obvious reasons, Bakugou hated that idea.

"But we need to get started on romancing someone," you said, following Bakugou across town. "We might as well pick a villager we wanna marry for the sake of pleasing your dead grandfather's wishes."

Bakugou's farmer stopped to glare yours down in-game. "I don’t want any of those stinking villagers on our farm! Don’t go marrying any of them. I don’t care about their heart events, I don’t care about their birthdays, and I don’t give a fuck about not having enough hearts for the Flower Dance. I’m not here to make friends.”

Bakugou started heading back towards the farm again, and you followed.

“But we need to get married for a good endgame rating!” you protested.

“Well… I got you, don’t I?”

You were too frantically aware that you both were on a livestream, where everyone could see your reaction to his comment.

“Bakugou," you cried, "you can't just propose to me on stream like that!”

"It's a VIDEO GAME! And I'm not proposing to you yet." His character faced yours. "Wait until I get you a ring. Then you'll see."

"Bakugou!"

You couldn't believe what you saw on his facecam. Bakugou was grinning like a madman. This would only fan the flames of the shipping fanbase that was already brewing in your fanbases, but right now you were more concerned with his reaction than theirs.

During a stream break sometime later, Bakugou pulled you aside for a phone call to talk about what happened.

"You okay with that?" Bakugou asked. "With the marriage shit? We didn't discuss this shit enough beforehand, but I don't wanna pressure you into doing anything you don't wanna do."

You were so relieved he asked first. Truth be told, you wanted to broach the topic yourself but felt nervous.

"...I'm okay if it's you," you admitted, thankful he couldn't see your embarrassed face over the phone. "I mean, I really don't wanna get a worse endgame rating if we don't marry someone, so it only makes sense that we marry each other... Plus, I think it'd be fun to roleplay as a married couple for the sake of the stream. I wanna see all your heart events!"

"You have to woo me first for that," he said, and you could just imagine his eager grin on the other side of the phone call. "But if ya ever change your mind and feel uncomfortable, fucking hit me in-game or something and I'll stop."

"I'm not doing that!"

From then on, you and Bakugou fell into a fine routine, slowly feeling out your in-game relationship. Bakugou decided to gradually raise your affection levels like he would with any NPC, gifting you items twice a week. Sometimes he found the perfect gift and he'd have to chase you down just to give it to you while you went about your daily tasks. Other times, he brought you gifts you didn't need and cursed himself for getting it in the first place. You accepted it out of politeness and thanked him, but for Bakugou it wasn't enough.

"You're out of space?!" Bakugou said, his farmer holding a flower above his head smack dab in the middle of town. "Dammit!"

"Oh c'mon, it's okay." Your pink farmer sidled up to his. "I still appreciate the thought!"

"No, no, don't pity me. I'll do better. I'm gonna get you something that'll knock your goddamn socks off. Something that won't just sit in storage all day."

He ended up interrogating you for your 'loved gifts', which included an item rarely found early into the game, a pink cake. Although you warned him it would be hard to find and hard to justify buying even if he did find it, Bakugou still took to the challenge out of sheer spite at being told he couldn't. By dumb luck, he was able to buy it at the saloon sometime later and handed it to you, having saved up the money for it. For him, it was all worth it just to see the joy and shock on your face. His eyes were glued to your face cam visible on his monitor while you squealed out of happiness.

You also gave Bakugou many gifts in return to 'woo' him, even though you had no idea what items he liked. At first you started off with romantic flowers, then you progressed to useful minerals, and finally you just gave him stones to see if he'd still take it. He did, and he thanked you, and then he used your slingshot to shoot the stones at Alex, the town jock who flirted with you last week. Bakugou just wasn't the forgiving type.

Although you were often forced to split up to get everything done, you and Bakugou still made time to do things together in-game. For example, you only entered the mines if Bakugou was there to defend you from the terrifying monsters that lurked beneath. And you attended every festival together, with Bakugou accompanying you as a scary guard dog while you chatted up all the villagers. Every time you two shared quality time together, you called it a heart event. Bakugou didn't reject the idea, but he did call you a sap.

Eventually, you two started accumulating a number of furniture items and you both thought about upgrading your houses. But you couldn't really financially justify the cost.

"Since we're already planning on getting married, why don't we just live together now?" you asked, while visiting his house first thing in the morning. "It'd be easier to only have to upgrade one house instead of two."

"That much was obvious," Bakugou said. "But if you wanna do it sooner than later, I sure as hell won't stop ya."

"...What about the beds?" you asked, while checking out his home. "With all our stuff, there's only room for one..."

"It's just pixels! It's fine if we sleep in the same area. It's only practical!"

"Yeah... practical!"

Or so you told yourself.

And so, you two lived in the same farmhouse together and woke up to each other every single day with much, much awkwardness. Your chat had a riot the first time it happened, with some of them saying their fanfics had finally come true.

"Fanfics?" you asked, your eyes squinting at the chat displayed on one of your monitors. "What fanfics?"

"I don't even wanna fucking know." Bakugou sweated a little.

But despite the awkwardness, Bakugou never asked you to leave. Sometimes he even told you to rush home so you'd sleep together instead of seeing you pass out at 2 AM.

"We need you at full energy tomorrow, so you have to go to bed!" Bakugou said, while your slow pink farmer speedwalked back home. "From now on, you can't just pass out anywhere you want! We have to sleep together!"

"Phrasing, Bakugou, phrasing!"

Now Bakugou was hellbent on making sure you two woke up to each other every morning as per your decided routine. He kept justifying it by saying that sleeping at appropriate times was necessary for keeping your stamina levels high for the following morning, but the chat refused to believe it.

"he wants to wake up to you?" a chat member remarked. "for every day of his life???"

"You really are a clingy guy, huh?" Your cute farmer faced his in your shared bed.

"I wouldn't have to fucking cling if you'd just stay put," Bakugou pouted.

Eventually, you started unlocking more and more heart events with other villagers and this pissed Bakugou off. The chat accused the villagers of being "homewreckers" for flirting with you once they grew closer to you. For example, one boy named Sebastian offered to take you on a private ride on his motorcycle and Bakugou was livid.

"This nerd needs to back the fuck off," Bakugou said, standing right beside you outside Sebastian's room.

"He's just a friend, Bakugou!"

"HE'S NOT INVITED TO OUR WEDDING!"

The chat encouraged you to encounter more heart events with the other villagers, just to see each and every one of them try and steal you from Bakugou. They loved watching him grow jealous, because they thought it was further proof of his love. One girl named Abigail sent you a letter inviting you to her place late at night and Bakugou strictly forbid you from going. The chat had to spoil the fact that the event wouldn't include anything risqué for him to even accept this near declaration of war.

Fortunately, you and Bakugou soon got married in-game. Bakugou hoped that the villagers would now back off from flirting, but you knew their old lines would still be hardcoded into the game. Your chat members celebrated with many donations and congratulations, to which you and Bakugou gave each other the side-eye.

This romance was still fictional, right?

You both pretended to do all these romantic in-game activities to entertain the chat as well to get a better endgame rating, but deep down you wished you could have a little bit of this in real life!

After you two "finished" the game and had your farm positively rated by Bakugou's grandpa, the Stardew streams finally came to a close. You missed the game already and you could've continued, but you both felt this was a good enough ending to your file.

The weekend after, you hoped to hang out again with Bakugou outside of streaming, and you still couldn't get Stardew out of your mind. Your fanbases kept posting fanart of your Stardew playthrough, which helped keep all the memories fresh. Many of their fanarts depicted you two together side-by-side, and you loved looking at Bakugou in all their different art styles. You'd have to talk to him about the shipping though, at some point... It was really getting out of hand.

Bakugou was also still thinking about your past streams, though he had something different in mind when you showed up to his apartment one day.

"Bakugou! Where are we going?"

Bakugou covered your eyes from behind and led you a short ways forward. You must've been around his kitchen by this point.

"Hold on," Bakugou said. He turned you to face a specific direction. "I'm gonna remove my hands."

"Bakugou, what--"

There was a pink cake waiting for you on his kitchen counter, looking exactly like its in-game counterpart.

"Since we're staying at my apartment today, thought you'd get hungry at some point." Bakugou looked smug as hell. "Ya like it?"

"Like it? I love it! This is so, so, so cool!" You threw your arms around him and squeezed, and his arms wrapped around you in turn.

"Learned from you, actually," he said. "Like those videos where you bake fictional food."

You released him from your hug and bumped your hip against his. "Almost forgot you were my biggest fan!"

"Quit talking and eat. I didn't ask for any silly little comments!"

"Well you're getting some!"

You and Bakugou spent the rest of the day hanging around his living room, eating his food, and watching other Bakusquad member's streams of Stardew Valley on his laptop. All of them ended up romancing NPCs, and your streams were the only ones where someone married another player. You suddenly became far too aware of how close Bakugou was to you on the couch. While watching Kaminari's in-game wedding, you caught each other's eyes and quickly looked away. You wanted to discuss this, but you didn't know how.

"Do you regret it?" You wore a teasing small smile. "You regret being married to me?"

"Hell no," Bakugou said, his face somewhat red. "You better not be asking 'cause you regret it now yourself."

"Of course not! I was only wondering." You mindlessly played with your food. "After all, you've probably seen what the chat members are saying about our 'relationship'..."

"Hey. Look at me."

You looked up from your food to see Bakugou grinning once again.

"Let them think whatever they want."

(This came out way longer than intended, I don't know if all the one shots are gonna be this long ;-;)

[wtftarot]

PAC: The World

We've come full circle and it's about fuckin time, right? Time for the end. The World is harmony and the end of a cycle. She is that moment when you remember that you are the universe, you are One with everything and you feel it in your bones. It is recognizing your place as a human on this planet. The World is an ending, the inevitable conclusion but he is also the herald of a new beginning. What do they want to tell you? Let's fuck around and find out

As always this reading is for entertainment purposes ONLY and is not a substitute for professional advice in any capacity. Remember, use common sense and don't be a dumbass.

Four groups today, you can pick The Bird (eagle?), The Lion, The Person, or The Bull and head on to your reading.

The Bird/Eagle

The Nine of Cups and The Nine of Wands on the bottom of the deck.

This is fuckin gorgeous for y'all. The cycle that's ending for y'all is one where y'all had to fight tooth and nail for everything you wanted. I'm seeing the end of the Lord of the Rings, where the eagles fly Frodo and Sam out of Mordor after they destroy the Ring. I don't remember if Frodo actually says it, but I'm hearing him say "It's done". Y'all have been dealing with a rough ass cycle, huh? For it to show up as the One Ring? There may be one last battle of sorts? Like a boss battle. This is my nerd group (affectionate), I'm getting a lot of fantasy imagery. Think of it as one last challenge so you can truly close this cycle once and for all. For some of y'all, this cycle has been a long and very internal one. Something that's been weighing you down, that you're finally letting fall from your shoulders. What I'm seeing is that this 'boss battle" is a choice of sorts. You've been growing and figuring your way out of this cycle and all at once you're faced with a choice. This cycle has been more internal and you may have not seen much externally about it. It's like this choice embodies the cycle externally and you have a physical/material choice to make. Continue this cycle? Or Step forward with growth? And it will be that clear to you. Again with the imagery, I'm seeing a game screen with a choice. This path is unknown, keep going? Press X: Keep going. Press Y: Turn Around. Listen, I'm not much of a gamer like at all, so I don't know if that's a thing that happens in games? The last game I played was like three years ago?? So, the fact I keep getting gaming imagery means I'm really tapped into some of y'all's guides. Ok, the guide that's doing a lot of this is practically screaming in my ear to yell at y'all TO PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR DREAMS. FOR FUCKS SAKE. If you're into gaming and have been playing a game that's set in the woods, that message goes double. Don't ask me, I just work here. Now the cycle y'all are stepping into? Fucking beautiful, ok? Y'all are gonna be getting a lot of shit you have been wishing and crossing your fingers for. I'm hearing/seeing "yes, those too" and imagery of a belt and other accessories? This group is loud and I love it. Yea, even the "little things" you've wanted that aren't high on the priority list will be coming your way soon. And y'all are going to be rightfully smug about it. I think some of the blessings coming your way were things that people around you have tried to dismiss or downplay or talk you out of, so yeah you can be a lil bit smug about it. You've earned it. The past lil bit for y'all has probably felt very stale and stagnant but now that it's closing, things are going to be moving and improving. It may jolt y'all a bit at first. Cause this energy is so fucking different from where you've been, that even just dipping your toes in it will be a shock. It will be a welcome shock though, refreshing. The way this will manifest will be different for all y'all, but one thing's for sure, y'all are gonna fuckin run with it. After that initial choice, falling into this new chapter will be the easiest thing in the world.

random ass vibes: video games, d&d, 999, leaning into a new clothing style, fish, moon cycles, someone have a moon tattoo? birthday cake, HAPPY BIRTHDAY?

The Lion

The Moon and The Tower on the bottom of the deck.

Ok, you need to take a break. Full stop. Even if it's just ten minutes of sitting in nothing and silence. Your brain needs a rest from everything. I feel like y'all need to be told that yes, this thing does need to end. The cycle you're in may have become your comfort zone and you feel safe repeating it cause you know what to expect. It does have to end though. Y'all may have some idea that this ending is coming but you don't know just how much things will change when it does. This may be about a belief about the world or yourself that's really holding you back. Once clarity comes, you won't fit in the same places, with the same groups you used to. I don't blame you for resisting this, it can be terrifying to start questioning belief systems or old worldviews. Some of y'all may be questioning the religion or politics you were brought up in. It could be an understanding of who you are vs who others want you to be. Y'all are feeling a bit overwhelmed and confused as to what all this means. Sweetie, that's okay. This IS confusing and overwhelming. It is hard and scary and can leave you feeling very vulnerable. Babe, you need to stop pushing yourselves to have all the answers already. This one takes time and it's okay to let it. That's probably why the message I got for y'all before I even pulled the cards was for y'all to take a break. Not only that, but you don't have to tell anyone about this. Yes, if you can find some safe support through these periods of life do it, but you don't owe anyone what you're going through. Y'all are putting soo much pressure on yourselves to know everything already, to have all the answers. To know every aspect of who you are and what you believe. Wanna know something terrifyingly liberating? You never will. You will never know every single aspect of yourself cause you're always growing and changing. Same with your beliefs, you're always learning new things about how the world works, so your beliefs will always be shifting, even slightly. This is all coming from The World card cause y'all, more than anything need to let yourselves just BE. Be in the moment, stop interrogating them as if all the answers will be found there. The answers you're seeking will come in time and letting yourself live. I know the world we live in pretty much demands you have everything figured out at all times but that's bullshit. It's okay to change your mind.

random ass vibes: small-town vibes, doves or white birds, 919, the goth kid at the family reunion, lightning, trees, dragons, red clothes. nature vs nurture.

The Person

The Sun and The Hermit Rx on the bottom of the deck

Y'all it's time to come out of hiding. You've been hiding your truth for a WHILE. lol I'm hearing that lil Sunday school song: "Don't hide your light under a bushel, NO!" ( I grew up in the bible-belt, don't judge). That's a song for little kids if y'all don't know it, you don't have to look it up. It's telling me though that y'all have been hiding your light, so to speak, since you were a little, little kid. Like four-ish years old. Now, I don't know y'all's situation, it may not be safe for y'all to be fully yourself, and cause it seems like y'all have been hiding your whole damn life that's probably the case. So, BE FUCKING SAFE, okay? Because you're at this reading though, there are probably some ways you're hiding yourself that you don't have to. It's like y'all have just been letting people decide who you are when you're around them? Y'all are wearing other's projections of you like masks. I'm hearing "too much". Ooh boy, y'all listen, this group feels like I'm talking to my younger self. I cannot tell y'all the number of times I was told I was "too much", too loud, too quiet, too stubborn, too whatever. Unless y'all are being too cruel, too bigoted or whatever, y'all have a place here okay? Y'all seem to have taken being told you're too X, or not Y enough to heart and have whittled yourself down piece by piece cause that's what the people around you want. Y'all are like the fucking sun and everyone is demanding you be a candle. I think it's people you care about telling you this too. And because you care about them, you want them to be happy and comfortable. So, of course, you can be a little smaller, whatever they need, right? Now though, you've been doing this so long, you've lost yourself a bit, haven't you? The World is telling you it's time to call those parts of yourself back. Dig up those parts of yourself that you've buried. You can start as small as you feel you need to. It may be hard and confusing at first but soon it will be as natural as breathing. If you're not even sure where to start or have forgotten those parts, ask your guides and the universe for help. Ask for signs and to be put in situations that bring out those buried parts of you. You may have outgrown some of them and that's okay. Just prepare yourself, it won't be easy. Ya know that tingling feeling when your leg has been asleep and it's waking up? I feel that even though my leg has been fine this whole time. So it will probably be uncomfortable too. You should probably expect some hard reactions from the people around you too, especially if they've only known you as the you you've pretended to be for them. But that home you've been looking for? Felt calling? That can only be built by you being your authentic self. Otherwise, it'll just be another place where you have to wear a mask to be welcome. I wish I could end this one on a lighter note for y'all. This isn't an easy one. Take some alone time and please, take care of yourself through this. Whether you realize it or not, you are working through something really difficult and need to go easy on yourself through this.

random ass vibes: Halloween, candy, ghosts, 11:11, turtles, alligators, Frankenstein's monster, Venus, halos or angels?

The Bull

The Page of Pentacles and the Eight of Swords with the Empress on the back of the deck.

Y'all have so much fuckin potential, okay? Y'all are doubting yourselves so fuckin hard and The Universe and your Guides are sick of it. We all know someone who's amazingly talented but is so fuckin hard on themselves about it, to the point where you just want to grab em by the shoulders and shake them screaming YOU ARE WONDERFUL AND TALENTED. That's how your guides are feeling about you, all the damn time. I'm serious. I was only taking One card and the bottom of the deck for each group but the Eight of Swords came out too for y'all. Y'all are stuck in your head, questioning your every goddamn move and wondering why you're exhausted and never seem to move forward. This reading's tone is much more direct, like fed up snap the fuck out of its energy. Not that your guides are fed up with you, just fed up with your self-doubting bullshit. I'm hearing "..but they'll think I'm x" So, you may feel like if you truly lean into your potential and fail, people will have shit to say. Sweetie, they will and they will if you succeed and they will if you never do jack-shit. One of the few guarantees in life is that people will talk shit no matter what you do. The only control you have is why they're talking shit. Would you rather them talk shit about you cause you went after what you want, win or lose? Or because you never went after what you wanted, which is exactly what they wanted. The cycle that needs to end for you is one you have to end. End the cycle of shitting on yourself just cause you may not be where you want to be. End the doubt of your own capabilities. You really have NO CLUE how fucking amazing your life will get the second you start questioning those shitty thoughts. Like just questioning them, not even fully disbelieving them yet. Just questioning them will do fuckin wonders for you. If you're a beginner let yourself BE a beginner. If you want to try something new but are afraid of being a beginner then say fuck it and fuck you to those thoughts and start anyway. Hell, you don't have to tell anyone you're starting at first. You have the potential to be a whole-ass fuckin meadow and are doubting and even criticizing yourself for having to start as a handful of seeds. This is you're pep talk, in case you haven't figured that out yet. One other thing, some of y'all may be fearing the work that'll come with believing yourself, that it'll be tiring and all that. It's gonna be the opposite, sweetie. I mean, yeah it'll be work. But it's gonna be energizing. Do you know how much energy you've been hemorrhaging by shoving down allllllll that potential constantly? All of that will be freed up in a second and spent on fun shit. I believe in ya, babe.

Random ass vibes: thrifting, rainbows, makeup, cinnamon, puppets, purple, birds, card games, heart tattoos.

[monsterfactoryfanfic]

fuck Reedpop, fuck Ziff Davis, and fuck Consolidation

I wrote this back in November of 2023 for Richard Williams' "What's Hot in Indie TTRPGs" roundup. And though things have moderately improved with the launch of Rascal News, I'm still so heartbroken about the state of games journalism.

Anyone paying attention to games journalism over the last five years could tell you the earth is salted. But it’s been especially hard to see two mainstream outlets for TTRPG news suffer from corporate greed here at the end of 2023. First is the layoff of Lin Codega from Gizmodo, part of a 23-person restructuring that also shuttered the iconic feminist site Jezebel. Codega had received an Ennie Award only a few months prior for their work covering the fiasco Wizards of the Coast invited upon itself when it tried to revise its Dungeons and Dragons “Open Gaming License” in an attempt to squeeze competitors out of the economy. My favorite of their recurring features was “The Gaming Shelf,” which regularly highlighted indie RPGs. It is so rare to see someone with relatively mainstream media access discuss what’s happening on itchio, and to lose this chance to get more eyes on small projects is an absolute travesty. Codega themself puts it best: "I deserved better than this and G/O Media will be poorer for letting me go." The second, which is at this time a travesty-in-progress, is the auctioning of ReedPop’s “Gamer Network” portfolio of websites, which includes Dicebreaker. This news arrived the morning I sat down to write about media consolidation, the week of Dicebreaker’s second Tabletop Awards. Few other sites command the audience and prestige of Dicebreaker, whose journalists regularly feature games by indie creators who otherwise are forced to market their games through increasingly-fractured social media sites. I truly hope the “Gamer Network” portfolio is purchased, and all staff affected keep their jobs, but I’m not optimistic.   My mom was a journalist. She retired over a decade ago, when GateHouse Media swallowed a dozen local newspapers right before filing for bankruptcy. I’m genuinely sorry to see that ten years on, media companies are callous as ever, happy to ruin the lives of hundreds of brilliant people for the sake of a few points on a spreadsheet. Indie games deserve mainstream coverage. And the people who cover them deserve so much better than what they’re getting. 

[fleshengine]

I experienced Mouthwashing last night (a friend streamed it to me because I'm too fucken broke to buy it) and I'm curious to hear your thoughts on it

Anya killing herself with the remaining painkillers doesn't make sense because they were labelled paracetamol which is acetaminophen. Acetaminophen overdose takes days to kill, so unless she was barricaded in medical for a lot longer than it seems in game it wouldn't have killed her that fast. We know it's acetaminophen poisoning as well, because she vomited all over herself. It's the only "plothole" in the story, which is impressive given its multiple POVs and jumping around in time.

I don't understand why Jimmy fed Curly a piece of himself, it feels like cannabalism imagery for the sake of cannabalism imagery. If he's just going to chuck him in a cryopod, and then off himself why bother? Then again, Jimmy's mental state is far from anything I'd even consider calling stable.

Swansea putting Daisuke out of his misery doesn't make sense to me because why not do the same for Curly? This could be handwaved by the dwindling medical supplies or as characterization for Swansea but it struck me as odd.

I can tell what the game is trying to say, and it says it because I've seen other people talk about it at length. Ya know, toxic work culture, guys will back eachother up even if they know the other is doing something terrible, that kinda shit. But some of the surrealist and scary shit just seems thrown in for maximum spookage. I think the game would be better if they cut the scary shit by half and focused more on the actual story they're trying to tell. As it stands, it feels a lot like "hey if there were two guys on the moon and one of them killed the other with a rock would that be fucked up or what?" Obviously I'm being a little reductive, but that's still the vibe aboard the tulpa, I mean Tulpar. Oh yeah, naming your spaceship after tulpas, that was certainly a choice.

Honestly it feels like youtube/gametheory/reaction bait. It starts with big spooks and has surrealist horror sequences so the funny men on youtube can scream and yell. It's out of order so people can make "Mouthwashing in chronological order" videos. It's got a confusing plot so people can make "Mouthwashing EXPLAINED" videos. A lot of the story just isn't told to you and you have to fill it in or find someone to do that for you. You might think "oh well maybe it's 'show, don't tell' done well!" and no, it's not. The game specifically shows you so little, which is nice in a horror game but at the same time, I need SOMETHING to convey the information.

My best example of this is Daisuke in the vent. What happens to him? Dunno, he gets magically fucked up. How does he get the door to medical open while deathly injured? Dunno but he does. I figured we might get a little info when we go into the vent in one of the nightmare vision sequence things, but nope! It's just more random spooks.

Someone could point to me and say "ew stupid gamer needs everything spelled out with yellow paint for her" and honestly they'd be right a little. When it comes to games like this, with complex plots, time jumps, nonchronological storytelling, and abstract nightmare sequences, I would like a little yellow paint occasionally. You can be confusing all you want and I'll enjoy it but when I'm done I want to know what happened.

8/10, I'm glad I watched a playthrough rather than pay for it myself.

[bestsnubbedeurovisionsong]

Propaganda under the cut

Samo Mi Se Spava:

I don't think it's my first place bias saying that this really is SUCH a creative and unique Eurovision entry. It's something new and so incredibly effective. Everything was pulled off to the complete best degree it could be and it was frankly perfect. SUCH a strong performance of such a strong song. I understand that some people don't like songs unless they have a pop belt vocal but I just think everything about smss is perfect. I genuinely cannot believe it placed bottom 5.

Vote for the Lobster Twinkovič or the lobsters will come for you 🦞🦞🦞

Gamer boy 🥺🥺

Eat Your Salad:

The audience yelled 'pussy' in live television for fuck's sake!

PUSSY!

Made the entire concert hall shout "pussy" at the top of their lungs with the iconic line "instead of meat, I eat veggies and pussy" <3 snubbed by jury for being too sexual :((

Feminism and environmentalism and PUSSY. I'm really mad they didn't qualify. They deserved to WIN

[lafortis]

Fucks sake this was supposed to be a light day. Almost a day off. Instead I end up doing the last quarter of the setup myself 😮‍💨 fuckin guys

Anyway I'm home now, goodnight local gamers

[anns-works]

League Of Jay Tings (bc that right there? wasted potential)

The customizable character was a cool-ass feature and one of the best ideas Unagami had for the game. Even before Jay got sucked in, there were players running around with the ninjas as their skin.

(Scott got bored at one point and spent his time antagonizing the Red Visors in a Gold Ninja skin that was ridiculously expensive. Hw also lost a life. Totally worth it.)

On that note, I would like to point out that Jay and Scott's skins appear to be similar, so I'm guessing its one of the defaults that they ended up customizing (I imagine its like putting on a mustache or hat on minecraft Steve and calling it a day.

So, Jay's early days mainly included trailing around Scott cuz he was the only interaction he had with another person that wasn't just an NPC.

They finally encounter another another player but this one has a (surprise!) Blue Ninja skin. wat resulted was a ten minute long standoff between Jay and the other player which involved a lot of pointing and unintelligible noises.

The player bolted. Jay followed them screaming the entire time. Scott also followed cuz this was the most entertainment he's had in a long time. It's a miracle they haven't been discovered by any of the Visors yet.

The played leads them to a hideaway that had a LOT of people, all equipped with Blue Ninja skin.

Scott's previous amusement quickly turns into horror as he quietly goes what the fuck over and over again. Jay gets an idea like you know what, lets use this.

and basically thats how the League of Jay born in Scott's garage through Jay's ''diabolical" plan (he's making a safe hangout space for these kids and also letting them cause chaos)

(For convenience sake, lets just refer to og Jay as SRJ (after his gamer tag) ft. some of the other Jays from the league! w/ their nicknames. DeeJay777 is Dee. Jay22Walkin is Walker. BlueJay6669 is Blue. JayBird9000 is Birdy.)

Most of the things these gremlins do is mainly going around to vandalize stuff. Scott is apparently the "Master of Color" or whatever that may entail. It just basically means he can go around graffitiing "UNAGAM I UR MOMAS A HOE" or other stuff like that.

And back to the whole customizable skin bit, it was an instant hit cuz of the opportunities it presented. You could be a guy. You could be a girl. You could be as sexy as a kpop idol (is that in thing in ninjago?). You could be an eldritch creature beyond mortal comprehension if you're willing to spend up a few units.

Dee enjoys not having tits for a while. Birdy also loves the whole transmasc feeling. SRJ just updated his skin to be Like That™ to give everyone gender envy.

Unagami once released a feature in the game that would let you access different levels and mini-games based on your selected binary gender (back when that was still a thing). The League hated it and let him know dearly. So Unagami changed it into something else and threw in a couple units in the mix (a goddamn dance competition). This was an instant hit. They planed their next updates based on the League's reactions.

Unagami: I didn't realize it was you at first. But some of your actions proved to be quite educational.

SRJ, flashback to that one time he wrote "UNAGAMI I FUCKD U MAMA HERE" on a wall cuz he was feeling pissy: Sure man, don't mention it.

Also on that note, SRJ DEFINITELY founded the ninjago LGBTQA+ community. I meant ninjago in itself is a pretty non-heteronormative society and you can kiss whoever you want with no issue. But everyjay was trapped in the lair w/o Scott out nothing to do and he's bored out of his goddamn mind and just suddenly suggests coming up w/ names for different sexual orientations cuz why not? taxonomy is fucked but they're bored.

Walker has an anthropology degree and Birdy is studying gender so might as well begin.

After getting out they get awarded by the NU for their fantastic discovery.

SRJ gave up the mansion he inherited from Cliff Gordon to Scott and it sort of turned into a hangout spot for the League.

One League member said on Chirp (jokingly) that the League of Jay should have their own social media platform cuz they're too weird and are apparently freaking out people on Chirp. They get a reply from Blue who tells them she'll look into it, and two months later there's a new social media in town.

Lentils and beans of all sizes, I give to you TRip, ninjago tumblr. The buckwild experience ever. A huge hit among the serpentine immedietly.

Those iconic posts but ninjago style. Red floor at Darkley's. the three weed smoking ninjas. Don't you love the color of the gi. I like your shoelaces, thanks I stole them from samurai x. Garage ballpit.

[mmoneystones]

𝐓𝐎𝐀 𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐫𝐲 M𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐲!

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is.

Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing!

Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

Name: Neku

Pronouns: he/they

Birthday (no year): Feb 24th

Where are you from? What is your time zone? North-Eastern NY with an EST time zone!

How long is your roleplay experience? About 2+ years now likely, with about half a year on indie and the rest from Discord RP (AKA just TOA)

How were you introduced to roleplaying as a whole? Okay this is always a really funny story because when I was around 15 or so I was really getting into Puyo Puyo, both because funny puzzle game but the characters were actually really cool! Then like one of my random friends from that community had the idea for RP/worldbuilding and the rest is history I guess?? I don't do Puyo RP anymore but it was a nice start. c:

How were you introduced to TOA? After my indie experience went down the drain I stayed in contact with most of my close Tumblr FE RP friends and that included gamer N. He told me about TOA a while back before, but I only considered joining really after I started getting used to college life.

Do you have any pets? No, my only pet were like carnival goldfish that....yeah :(

What is your favorite time of year and why? (Season, holiday, general period) Start of spring because while I like the colder seasons I feel sick AGAIN so I think the spring period is just my safest one.

What is your IRL occupation? University student until I learn what the hell I want to do with my life.

Some interests and things you like/enjoy? Small interests in music theory, game design, mathematics, musicals, uh....gaming. Yeah, gaming.

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? Smash Bros, Splatoon, The World Ends With You, Touhou Project, Trails/Kiseki, Celeste, a lot more Nintendo, honestly insert a lot of roguelikes here

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: I'm such a fake pokemon fan I stopped playing after Gen 6 but the Steel type is cool and Empoleon my beloved.

Tell us some funfacts and trivia about yourself! (Optional bonus challenge: if you filled this out last year, try not to repeat what you said back then!)

1) I have moderated a Touhou gacha server. Am I proud of it? No. 2) I can do a T-spin. I think that's pretty cool 3) I can beat Punch-Out on the Wii in a single session. It's probably easy to do but I love that game okay.

How did you get into Fire Emblem? Brother showed me FE7 on a totally legal GBA and I was like "wow cool!" Also Smash.

What Fire Emblem games have you played? It's on my mun page but I've played every (remade) FE game outside of FE5 (which I'm currently completing), 3 Hopes, and TMS. Quit FEH after like year 2.

First & Favorite Fire Emblem games: First would be both FE7 and Awakening, favorites are FE15, FE9, and (until I lose the adrenaline) FE4.

List your 5 favorite Fire Emblem characters across the series! Okay 5 is a large ask when you say favorites but uhhhhh Mae, Ike, Anna, Flora, Shamir. They can fight over the top 5 spots like a battle royale.

Who was the first character ever to make you go “ooh I like this one in particular” and why? Can be any context and reason! Going off FE7 being my first I'd probably call out Marcus because haha strong earlygame prepromote go zoom. Fortunately that almost works depending on the FE game.

Any Fire Emblem crushes? 😳 Ayra. Yeah.

If you’ve played (or are familiar with) the following games, who was your first S support? Who would you S support nowadays? I don't really care much for the S Support mechanic so I'm just writing these to call out my tastes. Probably no one I'd really consider to do with nowadays. - Awakening: Tiki - Fates: Honestly I cannot remember for the life of me for my sake I hope it was like Setsuna. Edit: fuck it was definitely Kagero. - Three Houses: Shamir - Engage: Ivy

Favorite Fire Emblem class? Pegasus Knight!

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class and stats? Would you be playable? I don't want to be one but I'd likely be some armor class with axes or swords. I'd be playable with really middling stats so I'm either benched or the subject of a FE video essay on "why splorgius the axe knight is UNDERRATED???"

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? (Black Eagles, Blue Lions, Golden Deer, Church of Seiros, Those Who Slither in the Dark, unaffiliated civilian, other - for example Almyran) Golden Deer YIPPEE

If you were an Officers Academy student, what would be your boons, banes and potential budding talent? Boons: Lance, Gauntlets, Flying; Banes: Axe, Faith, Heavy Armor; Budding Talent: Authority

If you were an Engage character, which nation would you originate from? (Firene, the Kingdom of Abundance; Brodia, the Kingdom of Might; Elusia, the Kingdom of Knowledge; Solm, the Queendom of Freedom; Lythos, the holy land of the Divine Dragon; Gradlon, the desolate land of the Fell Dragon) Brodia so I can convince Citrinne to donate to the commoners (it won't work.)

How do you pronounce TOA? 🤔(separate letters, to-ah, other?) N has made me say To-Ah but if I am not being hypnotized it's separate letters.

Current TOA muses: Citrinne, Lene, Yuzu

Past TOA muses? Mae, Shamir, Sonya, Faye, Anna (FEH), Flora

Who was your first TOA muse? If you no longer have them, can you see yourself picking them up again? Mae, and I honestly could see it but only if other muses weren't picking so hard at my brain right now.

Do you believe you have a type of character you gravitate towards writing? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) N has called me out for my sadgirl schtick, and...yeah. I think I've strayed from women that outright have traumatic moments define them, but it definitely is a sore spot in their lives. Unless you're Yuzu. You'd win.

Do you have characters or types of characters you don’t think you can handle writing, but wish you could? So this used to be like any single noble muse due to the inevitable struggle of writing around politics but I think Citrinne has been doing well sooooo let's just go with what the people want. Neku the male does not think he can write other men.

What kind of scenes, situations etc do you believe you enjoy writing the most? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) I still don't feel like I gravitate toward any real scenario but nowadays I have gotten less scared of dialogue to the point where I enjoy moments that allow muses to just talk to one another and bounce off each other.

Do you have any scenario in mind for your muse(s) that gets you thinking “man I hope I get to write this one day”? Nothing sticks to my mind right now for Citrinne; for Yuzu I need her mind to implode from Fates' route shenanigans; for Lene I need her to meet her mother :)

Favorite TOA-related memories? At this point it'd be Ball 2024 and Happyland since those are my most recent event memories. The mini-event I did with Sonya was very precious too.

Present or past tense? Try my darnest to keep it to present and I'm so sorry when it flops.

Normal size text, small text, no preference? I prefer to keep it to normal text when writing on my own end, never really saw the point for small, but I don't mind what others use.

Got any potential muse delusions to share? 😉 You know who you are.

[sonjalikestodraw]

Heehee sweary gamer rage boy funny, lemme just *trips over the Thorn chapter and falls in love with Cheated* Updated for Pristine cut! :D

Design notes:

Based on a street pigeon; pigeons were once domesticated and "cheated" by humanity.

As a part of Slayer's psyche, represents Anger Born of Worry + Sense of Justice/Fairness

Razor shredded his outfit and destroyed clipped his wings :(

Let's do some fashion crimes! He's in White Tie casino attire. Gambling theming fits his risktaker mindset, while the formal wear is symbol for how he's a stickler for the rules and hates random bullshit.

BUT he wears a (gasp) Black Tie-style blood-red cummerbund. Because I like cummerbunds. It represents getting stabbed in the gut in chapter 1.

Wherever Slayer gets chopped or pierced, Cheated gets scarred. Notably in-game our throat gets slit, so that one scar is always there, along with our knife hand getting lopped off. (He'll take it for Slayer's sake, but he's gonna complain about it the whole time)

If he hasn't met Razor or Nightmare, like in Thorn, the cummerbund is white and his outfit and wings are intact. "Fuck off Opportunist, I'm getting Thorn outta here!" He's her friendly angel, in black and white for alliance with both Slayer and the Princess.

In Wild, as per her route's aesthetics, his clothes are intact and recolored dark (black for LQ and the dark, green for the absolute reality), and Wild gave him poppy decor for sweetness and connection with the Princess.

In Cage, he's pissed off with the other Voices and Slayer, thus wearing red, while the white suit is for alliance with the Princess, almost like a wedding suit.

Fun fact: he's a trans dude ~

Like Oppy, he's in modern clothing instead of vaguely medieval/ren faire like the rest, because of how he talks like a gamer trying to exploit mechanics.

Barefoot to match Razor.

Has Hot-blooded Sideburns.

The dyed sidecut is a reference to various let's players, and also just looks nice. I think it suits him to have a punk hairstyle that he can meticulously maintain, yet claw at and mess with when he's frustrated (which is... all the time).

You'd best believe that when he gives Razor The Look, he pushes back his hair :P

[sleep-deprived-night-owl]

Kyle Montgomery

Okay so my socials died for a sec cause I've been rather busy, buttt I'm back with my next Athena kid OC. So let's run with it and see when I'll do the next ones XD Let's not get stuck in the maybe's though and let's go meet Kyle Montgomery. (@Ganeshkfp helped me with these lovelies so big shout-out to her!)

14 years old

Amelia's twin -> they're pretty much opposites

Is a gamer and loves PvP shooter games and strategy games (also building games like those games where you build bridges and stuff?) -> can and will challenge Nike (yk the victory goddess) for the sake of bragging about it

Used to be a bit more of a rule follower, but after the battle of Manhatten he let it go a lot more, generally cared less about stuff because of the probability he might die and how close he actually came to death during that time

Very prideful kid, but can step down when it matters

Likes to fuck shit up with Zane and Xene (don't worry you'll meet them too - A)

Loves food -> can eat at any moment, doesn't matter if he has just devoured two full plates, he will always go in for dessert

Claims not to care much about education -> when he's older becoming an engineer will be his main goal and he refuses to admit he ever said he didn't care about education

Has a heart time bounding with other people, but once he does, he's unbelievably loyal

If you want to see more of Kyle and his siblings? You can click this link which will lead you to a story in which they features. Happy reading! - A

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

unbelievable.. Theft and stealimg quastions.. Also umm 1, 12 and/or 20 for fabbylaris please and thank you :3 whichever question you wanna answer

1) who fell first, and who fell harder?

fabby for both. i know this to be true. honestly, if it wasn't for fabby falling for her to begin with- and making an effort to get closer to her than coworkers probably had ought to be- i don't know if solaris ever would have fallen back. it takes until fabby enters the picture for solaris to actually learn that romance is something that she would be willing to work for and care about.

this isn't to say that solaris didn't fall painfully hard. honestly, the only reason fabby fell harder is because of her deep and horribly repressed yearning that threatened to explode out of her chest every time she was in the privacy of her own home. but- as someone who headcanons solaris as a demiromantic who... doesn't really have friends- the lane change from platonic to romantic attraction hit her like a freight train.

imagine some late-thirties-early-forties 6'2 horrifyingly scarred woman experiencing the equivalent of a grade school crush for the first time. if it didn't feel so good it would be fucked up. you mean to tell her this happens to 'regular' people all the time?? what's wrong with them???

20) their absolute favorite thing about each other in the whole wide world.

if they both have to pick just one?? i honestly think they'd have the same answer, funnily enough. that the other cared enough about them to give them a chance...

in any universe in which fabbylaris is possible, i would imagine zor is out of the picture- either permanently, or that they're just not living under their all-seeing eye anymore. i think that one of fabby's biggest concerns about their relationship (whether she's consciously aware of it or not) is how zor molded her into exactly what they wanted her to be.

fabby well and truly thought she was trapped under zor's thumb forever. she didn't have a choice. her every decision and action and thought needed to revolve around them. her loyalty- first and foremost- was to them...

but solaris was always there for her. a hand on her shoulder. an advocate once she was too far gone to vouch for herself anymore. a breath of fresh air. a constant reminder that the way they were treating her wasn't right. wasn't normal. wasn't loving. she would fight against zor of all people, for... her sake? no one would have done that...

as for solaris? there's a reason why she doesn't have a lot of friends. she's very... leery of the way people perceive her. she's spent her entire life dealing with people who are either terrified of her, hate her on the basis of nothing, or undervalue her when she damn well knows her worth.

... and it wasn't that fabby wasn't like that in the beginning. the two of them couldn't have been any less alike. but fabby... changed. it took a lot of time, but she fought through her pride and grew to outwardly respect her and her work. and eventually, to love her. to teach her that there's such a thing as love worth clinging to...

she kind of resolved to the fact that no one who started with a bad impression of her on the basis of nothing would ever change... that there was no reason to try convincing them to change. but fabby broke her expectations in a way that kind of shattered her worldview at the time.

12) one to three songs that remind you of them.

okay i. i don't listen to a lot of music. i needed to scrape the most Normie songs off my spotify playlist because all i listen to is gamer music.... and unfortunately there's not a lot of gamer music. that's also yuri.

i've mentioned this before, but If I Didn't Have You from sympathy jones is like. the peak fabbylaris campy villain duet song. to ME. and i'm right.

i also kind of think Wherever We Are Now from. cassette beasts. is a pretty good pick. when it comes to their shared theme of abandoning pretty much everything they know to allow themselves the ability to be together. then it's sort of like... now what? crafting a new life for themselves but its oukay... because they have each other... aaugh