#i'm a feckin idiot

[herewithinthevoid]

My indecisive ass is in hell why did I do this omfg

Someone yell at me to go finish the updates to my damn toyhouse already

[lumibuns-blog]

Ghost x Soap's roomie

Ghosts and Gaz stay the week and Soap's apartment. Ghost falls head over heels for you and can't seem to think of anything else.

its just two idiots in love at this point and also Soap and Gaz are there too lmao. I have more for this concept on my page or under the tag if you like it💪

Dinner was finished quicker than Simon would have preferred considering he still couldn't get the image of your sly smile out of his head, not to mention the piece of food he was sure was stuck in his throat from the laughing fit you had sent him and Gaz into with your well timed nut-tap. You were intoxicating to him, it was almost insufferable how unable he was to get your voice, your face, your figure, everything, out of his head. He could swear that he's never felt this way before about anyone, ever. It was like the moment he set eyes on you, his mind had made itself up and all he could do was let himself fall even further and further in love with you.

So he now watched as you forced a very upset Soap to do the dishes, not without great effort.

"aw 'bon why tha' hell do I have'ta do this shite it's fuckin feechie" he whined

"'cause I do the cooking, that's the deal we have" you bit back "plus, I've cleaned our bathroom before" you turned to face both Simon and Kyle, Simon couldn't help but notice he was the one you locked eyes with "you wanna see nasty, use the shower when he's finished" you sighed

"oye! Not fair" Johnny warned, an accusing finger pointed towards you "you shed more than a hound when 'ure in there, ya clog the damn drain"

"excuse me! I clean up after myself at least, any hair you find in there is yours!" you yelled back, clearly embarrassed

"nae, ma' hair ain't long with split ends, er' whateva' the hell 'ure always moanin' 'bout in there"

you had half a mind to hit him across the face for that, "I don't know, hairs getting a little long there princess" you teased, gesturing to his grown out mohawk "need to get it trimmed? or you worried they might leave you looking bald again like last time?" you grinned

"awe no way!" Gaz grinned "you got pictures?" he ran over to you. Simon was curious too but didn't make a show of it, settling to sit back with his arms crossed instead, surveying the chaos.

"sure do" you beamed, ready to pull out your phone

"Naw naw!" Johnny scrambled to intercept his friend "nae happenin'"

you flung the phone behind you, out of his reach "then wash the fucking dishes man" you scoffed, shoving the sponge into his chest "thought they called you Soap for a reason?"

"feckin whatever" Johnny groaned, returning to the sink and flicking the tap on

you beamed and turned to head towards your room, calling out your dibs on the shower. Not before holding your phone up to Kyle and Simon, mouthing an 'I'll show you later' before slipping out of view.

"cheeky little mother fucker..." Soap mumbled, the half smile on his face turning into a look of disgust as he touched some wet food.

"so...." Gaz started after a moment "Never did decide where we 'going to be sleepin' mate?"

"well 've only got two beds" Johnny said, back turned to his friends "an' mine can only fit one a you's plus ma'self" he continued "an' like -ell I'm not going to sleepin on 'ma own bed while 'm home , so one ya will have-tae take the couch" he paused "unless the other one wants to bunk up with 'er" he laughed

Simon froze simply at the idea, suddenly incredibly uncomfortable in his slacks at the thought of being right up next to you while you rested. If you were closer would be be able to put his hands of you? trace the contours of your waist with his finger tips, burry his nose in the back of your head and wrap his hulking arms around your smaller figure? Feel the curve of your ass as you pressed against-

he bit the inside of his cheek and gripped the counter top so hard his knuckles turned white, "I'll take the couch" he huffed "'ure smaller anyway" he gestured to Kyle

"Whateva' mate" Gaz rolled his eyes, taking his friends jab in stride.

You had claimed dibs of the shower first because you were well aware that three, probably filthy, men (all of which had to be over 6 feet) were bound to need to use it as well and it would be pointless to try and wash your hair after that disaster.

"I'm done!" you called absentmindedly from the hallway, a towel wrapped around your body, wet hair sticking to your neck and back. Simon had found a very interesting part of the ceiling to focus on while you went back to your room, "try to not blow the thing up, I've got a down payment on this thing" you said, closing the door behind you.

silence fell over the room once again, as all three men glanced between themselves. Gaz was first, he took off at a run towards the bathroom door, determined to be second. Soap started off not more then a moment after him,

"aye ya prick, it's my house this?!" he grabbed for Gaz who held on steady to the door

"exactly mate! we're the guests!" Kyle chided "so be a good host 'an bugger off!"

"Nae 'm not lettin' you's skimp me outta a hot shower" Soap yelled attempting to pull Gaz back, but the man had such a a tight hold on the door he might've pulled out the hinges first.

you reopened the door after hearing the chaos, still in only a towel "the hell is-?" you were cut off almost immediately by ghost stepping in, he grabbed them both by the back collars of their shirts with what seemed like minimal effort, and pulled them off each other.

"Gaz you go first," he growled "Johnny, at least finish drying the bloody dishes before you go runnin' off" he shoved your roommate back into the kitchen

"Lt.! 's no fair he's goin' first! Why do you get to decide?" Soap griped

"on base 'er not, 'm still in charge." Simon said plainly, narrowing his eyes towards his friend, "just be lucky I'm the one yellin' at you for tusslin' around inside"

"In 'ma own home!" Johnny threw his hands up in defeat as Gaz pumped his fist before closing the bathroom door.

for a moment, your eyes met Simon's as you peaked from behind your door and they lingered there. His gaze was so was piercing as he glared from above his mask, that he had (unfortunately) put back in after dinner. His eyes only remained that way for a moment however, for as soon as they met yours, they softened. The harsh lines fell away instantly and his pupils began to dilate when they met yours, not aware you had been watching the whole ordeal.

'why did his eyes have to be so pretty?'

He coughed quickly, tearing his gaze from you before returning to the kitchen himself. Leaving you awe struck, fanning your face behind the closed door of your room.

When it was finally time for him to take a shower, Simon allowed himself a moment of respite in the bathroom before actually cleaning himself off. Away from Johnny's teasing glances and their incessant banter that he hated to admit he had come to be too fond of to reprimand them for, and they knew that all to well. Above all else though, it was a moment to internally process seeing you in nothing but a towel because when he had tried to think it over out there, the evidence of that was all too noticeable. You had looked so fucking good, wet hair, glossy skin, that towel that did absolutely nothing to cover up the swell of your tits as you pressed it to your chest. Even the simple fact that your cheeks still flushed from the heat of the shower sent his whole body into overdrive.

'shit- right, the shower.'

He broke from his thoughts to finally enter the shower but that did nothing to aid him in his situation. On the ledge was your shampoo and various other soaps, much like how your side of the sink was covered in various products and bottles he couldn't name even if he tried. Johnny's side had a toothbrush that was joined by Gaz's wash bag, and that was it. In the shower however, he only saw what were clearly your products. He grumbled and opened the door just a crack,

"Either 'a you got any shower gel?" He yelled through the crack, rather embarrassed at his current situation, "lef' mine at base."

"jus' use 'er's!" Johnny called back from his spot on the couch "'s what I do anyway..."

"You what?!" you yelled from across the flat

"dumbass" Kyle scoffed

"kidding, kidding!" Johnny laughed "Mines the one with the green lid mate, ya don' see it?"

"Fuckin hell...neva'mind!" Ghost responded, closing the door again. He swore he wasn't seeing straight. It didn't help that the whole bathroom already smelt like you, your intoxicating scent invading every breath he took. But to use your products? That was some shit couples do, and he had to stop his mind from getting away from him with that fantasy.

Stepping into the shower once more he located Johnny's soap. Spring rain?, no fucking wonder he hadn't noticed it, who would've thought Soap would use something like this? He quickly washed himself and got dressed, rubbing his hair dry with a towel as he exited the bathroom.

You stood in the kitchen, a large sweatshirt dwarfed your frame. You seemed to be waiting for the kettle of the stove to heat up as you noticed his presence.

"oh I can take that" you smiled, walking over to him and holding out your hand to take his towel from him.

He very reluctantly gave it to you, worried it would smell bad or have something gross on it he hadn't even realized. "was just about to start another lode anyway" you chimed, opening up the closet door and throwing it in the machine before starting it.

Simon couldn't help himself "Colors I'm assuming?" he joked

you whipped around to face him "Now don't you start" you scolded, but the smile and deep red of your cheeks was unmistakable, "Johnny's enough to deal with on his own" you headed back to your kettle

"'m sorry, I'll try to be less of a pain in the arse to ya than he is" Simon chuckled

"that's a low bar" you laughed dully "but thank you"

Simon found conversation to flow freely with you, like it does with the rest of his team but only after he had gotten close to them. He had only known you for a day but still found it so natural to speak to you (if he ignored the deafening sound of his heartbeat and the massive lump in his throat).

"want any tea?" your offer broke the silence as you grinned and held up the now boiling kettle.

"uh- sure" he nodded, was his heart getting louder?

you tossed open one of the cupboards "pick your poison" you chirped, gesturing the stocked shelf of teas.

he rounded the island to inspect the selection, peering over you in such a way that his form eclipsed yours and forced you to move back against the counter top. You held your breath.

"'ere" he handed a small tin containing a non-caffeinated herbal blend down to you and stepped away "is it any good?" he asked, pointing lazily at the tin that you now held.

you tried to shrug your flustered feelings away "Better be, 's what I'm having" you turned to grab him a mug from the shelf.

Simon smiled to himself at the knowledge he picked the same type of tea as you purely by coincidence. Moments later you were handing it to him, "here ya go Ghost" you said placing the hot mug in front of him

"Simon." he responded plainly

"Hm?" you tilted your head a bit

"Simon's fine, ya don't need to be calling me that 'Ghost' shit 'ere" he was staring holes into the kitchen island, wondering if it was weird for him to be asking you to call him by his given name.

"Alright, Simon it is then" you beamed, not missing a beat

christ his name sounded so good when you said it

"sorry guess it was just habit, seeing as thats what Johnny calls you whenever he's home"

"'s fine" he mumbled, a brief pause hung in the air as you both took your first sips of tea. You were right, it was good.

"where they at anyway?" Simon tried to fill the silence

"probably giggling under the covers by now" you scoffed "why? trying to get rid of me?" you joked

"'s not it" Simon answered quickly

"I know I know- I'm just teasing" you smirk "Johnny told me you were a bit quiet so don't feel pressured to talk 'er anything"

He appreciated the sentiment, but not talking to you was possibly the last thing he wanted to do right now. "What else does the little twat say?" Simon asked, a little gruffer than he intended to sound, but his reputation was on the line here.

"Oh just stories from all the dangerous stuff you all get up to, usually the ones where he can say he was the hero" you fully laughed and it sounded like music to Simon's ears "That and he complains about all the work he has to do, usually when he wants to get out of chores"

"sounds 'bout right" Simon smiled lightly and you could have sworn it was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen.

At least you didn't think he was some sulking, menacing, edge-lord. I mean he most certainly was most times but he would really prefer it if you didn't think of him like that. Now he just had one more thing to clear up.

"jus' so ya know... I- I didn't use your body wash" he practically had to shove the words out of his mouth he was so tense, but to his surprise you just laughed.

You smiled brightly and waved your hand dismissively, "Don't worry I didn't think you had, I don't blame you for not finding his soap though" you held your mug close to your chest and smiled fondly "He used to use that Head and Shoulder's stuff, you know the one? Anyway, it was nasty so I got him some better stuff and he actually likes it, even if he complains he smells 'like a chick' now" you put that last part in air quotes.

"fair", the soap Simon used on base was Head and Shoulder's. He made a mental note to throw it out and get better stuff the second he got back.

Conversation flowed freely for the next couple minutes as you both finished your drinks, you mostly asked about what it was like living on a military base and he asked about a bit about your graduate studies. Happy just to learn anything about you. When you set your empty mug down on the kitchen counter, he silently glided over with his own and took your mug in his other hand, filling them with water in the sink.

"you really don't have to do that, but thank you" you smiled softly, a yawn escaped you, feeling the tiredness begin to catch up with you.

"don't mind it" he dried his hands off with the kitchen towel. When he looked back at you his heart swelled. you were smiling lightly in the dimly lit kitchen, eyes squinting from even that being too much light. You swayed back and forth slowly, heading nodding slightly every couple of moments. He felt bad for keeping you up but more than that he wished he could just pick you up and whisk you off to bed, curling up next you you and letting you snuggle into his chest. But there was no way he could do something like that, not now anyway, so he settled for the next option

"you look like you're about to fall over love, off to bed now" he said, his voice quiet and gentle as patted you on the back and steered you towards your room.

"aye aye captain" you lazily saluted him and he couldn't help but smile "let me know if ya need anything" you called from the hall "night!"

"yeah g'night" he groaned, shoving himself onto the couch that was much too small for him. He would rather freeze than make you get up to get him another blanket or something. And even though he felt perfectly comfortable he couldn't seem to get to sleep, his heart was just too loud.

*I might make Price come over to give the boys something they left behind just so he can meet/flirt with reader and Simon and get all grumpy and jealous cuz it would be cute <3

Tags:

@sleep101 @urbimom @noisydelusionlove @plk-18 @pinkyfqiry @wwe1rdc0re @vmaxis @jenlvr01 @lovelovelovelovelove987654321 @ifsunmibts @callmeluno @nina-from-317 @strawberrygateau @leryg0 @weemansoap @dreamtofus @imjustheretofightforlove @electricmentalitypersona

[writing-with-moss]

Kinktober 9- Hickies

(Authors note): He's so fucking ugly it's cute. Also I know this isn't exactly hardcore smut but I'm struggling to write today so LEAVE ME ALONE

Johnny 'Soap' Mactavish x Americansoldier!f!reader

TW/CW: she's described as American, DUBCON, dry humping, she doesn't cum, hickies, slight voyeurism, he's so loud its embarrassing, ending is up to interiptation.

SMUT UNDER THE CUT!!

The weight of the day hung heavy on your shoulders, coming out in tossing and turning in your stiff military bed that just never seemed to get warm.

A frustrated huff left your lips after the 5th try of sleep as you sat up and stared silently at the clock ticking by. It was 2 in the morning and you doubted anybody would be up at the time.

Slipping from your bed, your bare feet hit the cool floor, padding silently through the eerily quiet halls of the base. Your breathing was loud, whispers echoed down the drafty corridors as a tingle ran up your spine. Could Price even set the thermostat any lower?

You made a right, ready to fix the damn thing so you could get warm until you see a light in the commons. Sitting on the couch was...Johnny.

Did you like Johnny? It was debatable. With his stupid Mohawk and cocky attitude, he was an adorable yet irritating idiot.

But when he slid his hands around your waist, murmuring where to point the gun, correcting your movements a few days ago, you couldn't exactly deny how wet you were the entire time.

He was a beefy man, and you liked that. Could anyone blame you?

"Ya just gonna si' there lass and look at my lovely mug or do sometin?" He chuckled, raising a brow. You felt your cheeks heat up at that annoyingly arousing Scottish accent.

"It's cold as 'ell in this base. What is Price? Warm blooded?" You shuffle over to the thermostat. It was set at 16 degrees Celsius? Was he trying to kill you.

"nah tha' was Simon." He gets up in one fluid motion. "Need help? With the Fahrenheit and all?"

You huff, unable to stop the shiver running up your spine as he stands behind you, fuck he was big. "They teach us metrics in school dumbass."

"Fiesty." He chuckles, leaning a bit closer as he turns the heat up. "Wanna snuggle? Maybe that'll warm yer arse up and get ya all docile for once?"

You shoot him a glare and he wolfishly grins. "I'll pass" You really wanted to, truly, he was probably an amazing cuddler. But you didn't want to admit that.

And then he slides his arms around your waist and tugs you into him. The hardness barely concealed in his sweatpants pressed against the back of your thigh.

"I ain' stupid bonnie, I see how ya glare at me. Like ya wanna fuck me. It's flatterin', I'll admit tha' but c'mon..." Your knees almost buckled under you. His warm breath against your jaw as you melted into him. Fuck you probably looked pathetic.

"Shut up.." You mumble, his rough hands groping your thighs. Suddenly your body is against the couch, his lips against your throat as he languidly grinds into your ass.

"C'mon, I ain' stupid...I hear you mewl my name every time ya stuff that pretty cunt with yer fingers." His hard-on drags into your thigh, panting and groaning in your ear. "Bonnie, please-"

You choke out a moan, grinding back into him, shutting your eyes tight.

"tha's my sweet lass.." He pushes you deeper into the couch, humping your thigh, his lips latch onto your throat and you whine.

He sucks, biting and licking up your skin. Bruises blooming against your jugular. "Feckin' 'ell...look atcha...all marked up huh?"

You whine and his stuffs his hands under your shirt. "On yer back Bonnie."

You shift, getting pushed back into the couch. His hand sliding up to cup your breasts as he hums against your skin. His kisses are all teeth and spit, more and more bruises stinging your skin. Your shirt comes off, then your bra and then your pants. His dirty paws desperate to get to the sweet plump skin underneath.

He latches onto your tits and you mewl, barely able to hear him spit out his praises. Groaning as he humps the couch like a stupid mutt. His nails dragging down your thighs, scratches bubbling up. He huffs, stuffing his nose beneath the fat to bite at.

You softly cry, his lips attacking your stomach next, tongue tracing your navel, he needed more. Tasting your salty sweat on his mouth, smelling your body wash, fuzzying up his head.

His mouth bites down on your thighs and your hips jerk up, fingers tangling in his mohawk, tugging at the strands as he huffs against your clothed core.

"Fuck m'close Bonnie.." He whimpers, his hips snapping down with fervor, licking up your stretch marks.

He groans, hands squeezing your thighs in a bruising grip as he cums in his boxers. Panting as he rests his forehead against your stomach.

"...fuck...look at ya lass..."

[indigitalembrace]

What.

WHAT!?

How!? I didn’t do anything! Shrimp believe me I would never do something like that to Kinito. Or to you!

. . . My sister. My sister likes to go onto my computer and play dumb little jokes on me. Change the wallpaper to a stupid meme, leave a program that plays a loud noise if I open up my steam page, stuff like that. But she wouldn’t do something like give me malware, she has standards!

Besides, I told her to knock it off when I joined the Kinito Server. And I changed the password, I left a warning on my desktop wallpaper for her to stay off my pc. I told her, I made pretty clear to her that I wanted some feckin PRIVACY. That I was serious about it!

I won’t lie to you Shrimp, she *does* know about Kinito. Well, she knows some things, I think. I did catch her snooping on my desktop when I came back from using the bathroom one time. I’m much more careful about locking my pc when I’m not in front of it now.

She called me an idiot for trusting random sketch people online. Said that poorly tested ai can be dangerous. She told me I was playing with fire. Kept bring it up with me multiple times. As if I don’t already know that.

I know Kinito is capable of hurting people. But news flash, so is every other person on the planet! I know the risks, and I think it’s worth choosing kindness over fear! To show Kinito that he can do the same!!!

I am allowed to make my own choices I am not a child!

Sorry.

Off topic.

What I meant to say was: while my sister has had access to my pc in the past, I don’t think she did anything. If nothing else, I’ve pretty much been glued to my pc all weekend. She would not have had the chance. I am sorry though. I should have told you about her. That was negligence on my part. I’ll do better.

… but where did all that malware come from? What did I do wrong? I'm really sorry Shrimp, the last thing I wanted was to make you even more stressed out :(

-Sec

[YOU'VE GOT MAIL!] To: 🦐 From: Sec

[ghostlykestrel525]

i had a thought.

demonic alterego brainrot continues (my laptop decided to Fucking Die which doesn't help with my activity here but) Jacksepticeye also has one of these fuckers, right? Antisepticeye or just Anti and like mf is chaos itself afaik. Sparky glitchy maniac idiot and yeah no how often you y'all reckon the poor, poor youtuber that has to deal with this gods-forsaken menace would scream something along the lines of "Get off my feckin' ceiling, you stupid sparky prick" every single day 'cause i'm betting on triple digits at LEAST--

[askaltr114209]

It’s been awhile since you’ve shown your face. Quit hiding like a coward and show yourself Mister

.........???

I'm right feckin here. I ain't been around cos I have better t'ings ta do! And I've been enjoyin de reprieve of an empty ask box and not 'aving ta deal wit idiots like you who t'ink dey can get away wit' callin me a coward just cos I've been quiet.

[obsessivefangirl]

YOU'RE AWESOME

YOU'RE SUPER TALENTED

YOU'RE WONDERFUL

YOU'RE ONE OF THE NICEST PEOPLE EVER

YOU'RE AMAZING

YOUR STORIES ARE AMAZING

YOUR CHARACTERS ARE AMAZING

ALSO YOUR HEADER IS REALLY CUTE I NEVER MENTIONED THAT BUT YEAH

YOU'RE REALLY FUNNY

YOU REALLY LIKE THE SKELEBROS WHICH IS. THAT'S WHAT GOT ME INTO THE FANDOM IN THE FIRST PLACE AND WE HAVE A LOT OF THE SAME IDEAS FOR THEM AND THAT'S REALLY COOL AND NEAT >:D

SPEAKING OF CHARACTERS WISP IS. AMAZING. HE'S SO WELL-THOUGHT OUT AND A BAB AND HE'S NOT PERFECT BUT HE TRIES AND HE LOVES HIS BRO SO MUCH AND IT'S SO CUTE AND HGHGHGHH EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM, MAKES SENSE, LIKE HOW HE SHOWS AFFECTION AND STUFF BECAUSE OF HIS BACKSTORY AND JHSGDHJDSDSJGHSDH I COULD RAMBLE ABOUT THAT FOR A LONG TIME

ANGECO IS!!!!!!!!!!! BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE IS, E HDSGHDSJGDJHDSGSJGSJHHGHGHHGHGH

AND AND AND DOGGO AS, RESULT AND HIS STORY MAKES SO MUCH SENSE AND THE, GRIEF HE'S GOING THROUGH

THE WHOLE FECKIN CONCEPT OF SSYSD IT'S SO GOOD AND. SAD

YOU WRITE THE BEST ANGST

AND THE BEST FLUFF

YOU'VE MADE ME GIFTFICS AND THAT'S RIDICULOUS BECAUSE YOU DID NOT HAVE TO AND I LOVE THEM

SPEAKING OF YOU WROTE MY OWN AU

I'M STILL???????????? TRYING TO FATHOM THAT TO THIS DAY BTW LIKE, YOU DID NOT HAVE TO AND IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME

AND, AND THEY'RE SO CUTE IN THAT FIC TOO YOU CAPTURED THEM SO WELL AND HGHGGNGHGHGHGHGHHG

YOU DID NOT HAVE TO MAKE ME THAT ONE BIRTHDAY GIFTFIC EITHER BUT I WAS DUMB AND DIDN'T TELL YOU ABOUT MY BDAY BEFOREHAND BUT YOU DID IT ANYWAY BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU'RE SO SO KIND

YOU PUT UP WITH ME

YOU PUT UP WITH ME TALKING TOO MUCH ABOUT MY OWN AUS AND IDEAS

YOU PUT UP WITH THE FACT I'M A CERTIFIED IDIOT

YOU HAVE GREAT MUSIC TASTE

I LOVE YOUR. TAKES ON THINGS DHDHJGHSHHG I CAN'T, WORD PROPERLY HERE BUT YEAH

YOU DON'T LIKE PICKLES BUT I AM WILLING TO FORGIVE YOU ON THAT

DID I FECKIN MENTION THAT THIS FIC EXISTS: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43315656

AND YOU'VE WANTED TO TALK ABOUT MY AU TOO BEFORE LIKE YOU'RE, ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN IT AND IT MAKES ME HAPPY

AND EVEN. THE WARRIORS THING THAT I MENTIONED, EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT SURE IF YOU KNOW ABOUT WARRIORS OR IF YOU LIKE OR ANYTHING, YOU STILL LISTENED TO MY IDEA!!!!!

YOU LIKE KOMODO DRAGONS AND I THINK THEY'RE COOL TOO

I DONT KNOW YOUR FASHION SENSE BUT I THINK IT'S COOL

YOUR DRAWING STYLE IS???????? SO CUTE?????????????????????????? WAIT NO HOW HAVE I NEVER MENTIONED THAT EVER

YOU MAKE ME LAUGH A LOT

THERE WAS LIKE. ONE DRAWING YOU MADE AND SHOWED ME AND IT WAS FUNNY DGHFGGHGHGHGHG

WAIT NO THERE'S BEEN LIKE TWO FUNNY ONES

PROBABLY MORE ACTUALLY BECAUSE I CANT REMEMBER GOOD

YOU HAVE CATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHICH IS AUTOMATIC PLUS IN MY BOOK >:DDD

I LOVE SEEING YOUR ASKS IN MY INBOX

I LOVE WHEN YOU GIVE ME STUFF BUT *YOU DO NOT HAVE TO, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST!!!!!!*

YOU LIKE TRUE CRIME LIKE I DO

YOU LIKE CREEPY THINGS

YOU LIKE HORRORTALE!!!!!!!!!!!! WHICH IS GREAT BECAUSE IT'S MY FAVORITE AU AND IT'S SO UNDERRATED IMO AND IT'S GREAT AND YOU'RE GREAT

YOU DON'T MIND THAT I'M. TOO LOUD OR TALK TOO MUCH AND STUFF

I LOVE TALKING TO YOU CAUSE YOU'RE FUN TO TALK TO AND JUST. ONE OF MY BESTEST FRIENDS EVER AND I LOVE YOU

YOU'D MAKE ME ROMANCE GIFTFICS JUST TO MAKE ME HAPPY EVEN THOUGH IT'S NOT YOUR THING AND THAT MEANS A LOT TO ME LIKE. MORE THAN I COULD PUT IN WORDS

YOU'RE SO SWEET AND THOUGHTFUL AND SUPPORTIVE!!!!!!!

THE WHOLE CONVERSATION WITH YOU ABOUT THE MIDNIGHT THING AND WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS ACTUALLY THE NEXT DAY AND ME BEING A DUMMY AND, MY EPIPHANY ME ABOUT IT WAS GENUINELY ONE OF THE MOST HILARIOUS THINGS AND WEIRDLY ONE OF THE BEST THINGS THAT'S HAPPENED BECAUSE I CAN JUST LAUGH AT MYSELF AND YOU GET TO TOO

YOUR FEEDBACK MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY AND YOU MAKE ME REALLY HAPPY WHEN YOU'RE HAPPY AND JDFGHDGJHGSJH

I JUST LOVE YOU A WHOLE LOT AND YOU DESERVE A LOT MORE COMPLIMENTS THAN THIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ALSO JUST. YOUR COMMENTS ALWAYS MAKE MY DAY AND NIGHT WHEN I SEE THEM. AND THIS COMMENT ALONE THAT YOU LEFT ON DRAWN TOGETHER MADE MY ENTIRE DAY TODAY:

Rereading this and. Ouaghhhhhh

Angeco doesn't realize how he gives in his own way, and he's just so. Determined to make his brobet happy

AND HOW WISP CHECKS UP ON HIM?!!! He's so loving and protective...

Not to mention how worried he is because of his strange acting fjfbfbhhhg

And how when Angeco stiffens he falters and respects his boundaries but also is just. Really :(

And noooooooooooooooo Angeco self consciousness :(((( he's just. Baby.

Wisp is such a sappy loser <3

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I'M NOOOOOTTTT

OUAGHHHHHH WHY DID YOU DO THIS I DON'T DESERVE IT 😭😭😭

[msfbgraves]

What would Mob!Terry think of Old Wounds!Terry? Since they’re both Alphas, but one of them failed to win their omega over and spent decades moping. I feel like Mob!Terry would think poorly of OW!Terry, and think that OW!Daniel was too uppity for an omega.

Mob Terry would be very confused - why is Danny Boy married to his sister, what are they doing in California, where are all his other pups, who is that Japanese guy being referred to, why is no one wearing hats anymore? If he somehow got the lay of the land - again that is his Gianni why tf are they auctioning his Gianni and is that Luna going with Yasmin? Tf???, but if OW! Terry somehow interfered in the obvious Hell Mob!Terry would raise (Again that is his omega and two of his pups at fucking auction, I don't think the Auction Master is coming out of this alive), he would be a little surprised at OW!Terry letting any social rules define him. OW Terry would smile wryly and be like "Welcome to making it filthy rich, kid, turns out other people are there as well and playing them is a much longer game. It's one thing shooting criminals and poor people, you can't shoot fellow billionaires, that will land you in jail."

And for him not to have won his Danny, Mob Terry would overreact to that, because it would terrify him indeed. Did he ever truly win his Danny? But why then indeed not take him, was the Don - what do you mean no Don?! Oh, you, you thought he loved you. Well of course he loves you, you idiot, why would you not simply take him and let him figure it out after a heat or two? But OW! Terry would be like: so you never, ever truly know whether or not his love is genuine? And then Mob Terry would fight him only that OW Terry is a martial artist. Mob Terry is a good fighter, a cunning fighter but he isn't that good.

Still, Terry, look at the boy - yes he's uppity as all fuck but that's because he needs you to step in, man. Nothing a few hours in the bedroom couldn't cure. He's aching for it, can't you see? And OW Terry would be like: "I was stepping in, until you started feckin shooting you gobshite" - Mob Terry activates the somewhat dormant Irish - and now OW Terry has to get this gangster out of the way, but he's distracted by random kids, luckily, and Mob Terry is like "What do you mean you have no pups, those are my pups!!!", and ultimately, I think in their hearts of hearts they would agree that money turned OW Terry soft and Mob Terry is a luckier man, apart from the fact that again, to live with Daniel and to have to doubt his love is not something OW Terry could stand; which would make Mob Terry yell, through angry tears, that you don't even have pups what do you know but it leaves him feeling very shook. OW Terry would feel he'd still have an honest chance which Mob Terry would be like "TF dude you tried to buy him at auction, nothing honest about that, you're no better than I am" and that would end in another fight, asshole, you don't know why and I'm not gonna tell you, shut tf up.

[wyattssims]

(thank u to my sweet idiot friend @ratboysims for crafting Talia for me hehe)

[alterrune]

BACKGROUND PROGRAMS #1: THE HIGHER-UPS

TOPPAT CLAN HIGHER-UPS CHAT LOG - AIRSHIP, 12:00 PM

List of people in chat: Fredrick Muenster, Matilda Ivy, Gene Fredrickson, The Witch, Mr. MacBeth, Stu Pendles, Burt Curtis

Alright, laddie, wot's the big idea here? I was in the middle o' somethin' important!

Would you please just calm the hell down, Matilda? Me and Burt called this meeting because the situation has gotten quite dire thanks to Kyle's brothers.

That's an understatement, cheese-head. Do you have any idea how little a train driver's licence gives you when you're IN THE AIR?!

MacBeth, I know you're frustrated that you can't drive the train right now. Maybe one of the herbs Violet taught me to make will help? They've certainly calmed Mr. Pendles down.

Yeah...I'm less of a nervous wreck now. No need to be paranoid about what I owe Carol, heh-heh...

Regardless, we need to come up with ideas to get back at those idiot brothers of his. Any ideas?

I was kind of thinking...how about a solid gold cannon?

Gene. We've been over this before. You do realize how much a solid gold cannon would weigh, right?

Wait, Muenster. I actually think the former mayor's on to something here. We load up said cannons, fly over the Blackjack's base, then drop the cannons from the ship. If they don't crush the victim, they'll be blasted by the cannon!

My god...I never thought I'd say this, but...Gene, we're going with your plan.

Uh...Muenster, before we do that, can I ask you something?

What is it, Ms. Witch?

Change yer hat, ya bloomin' idiot! There's feckin' MOLD growin' on it!

Oh, dangit! Welp, glad I bought all those blocks of cheese when I did, makes making new cheese hats easier.

Looks like Operation: Gilded Broadside is a go. We'll start making some solid gold cannons, stat.

END OF LOG

Bios obtained:

🧀 Fredrick Muenster

👩🏻‍🎤Matilda Ivy

🧹The Witch

💎Gene Fredrickson

🚂Mr. MacBeth

💸Stu Pendles

🛰Burt Curtis

[ultimaterealmofchaos]

🍒 + my url.... pleading emoji

i feckin forgot all about this bc i'm an idiot--

the source~ always accepting!

friend!!!!! though we haven't written together yet -- i am blaming my RL schedule and my overall complete lack of inspiration lately and i'm so sorry -- i really like your writing!!! your characterization is so good, even though i have no idea who some of your muses are. lilian seems so fascinating to me, we really need to start something with her and... probably literally any of my muses ahaha! plus you seem like such a sweetheart, and i love seeing your posts on my dash x3 <3

[erotetica]

A Discourse: finwe died for the light of aman, not his kid’s ego rocks

[askaltr114209]

What if I said I match energy. So if I'm an idiot, well... Bit obvious, ain't it, dude? -Sin Anon

Dat makes sense, yer the one attractin' all de other idiots. Like a feckin virus. Luckily... Viruses can be removed~

[spookyboywhump]

Laugh Anon is back; with vengeance. Hey Mister!! You are allowed to show joy/happiness/excitement however the HELL you want to!!! Don't EVER let anyone tell you that it's not good enough/bad!! I think my smile feckin sucks and scrunches up my face, but goddamn I do it anyway. I laugh like a feckin chimpanzee but everyone is going to goddamn hear it because it means I'm happy. Don't let anyone take that from you!! *UNIQUE* (Not Ugly) laughs are the BEST, and I will fight anyone who says otherwise

AGAHDJDKDK

Laugh anon you’re very nice, I’m afraid I’m just not quite comfortable with my laugh anymore

I promise you though, that sure as hell doesn’t stop me from howling like an idiot when my friends present me with something hysterical

[nullum-nocte]

Call Me Kevin Ask Meme ( Harry Potter edition ) Prt. 4

“Oh finally- me and ___ are separated now I can leave and go home.” 

“Oh my God, what has ___ set us up with!? 

“We’re gonna freeze to death if we don’t solve this.”

“Look at ___. He’s/she’s/their way to cocky for his/her/their own good!”

“____ broke something, Professor!”

“___ almost broke her/his/their coccyx!”

“____ might be book smart but she’s/he’s/their not common sense smart.”

“Feckin run boys! Get outta this death trap!”

“The Professor is definitely not expecting us back, like 100% he’s/she’s/their wrapping up the class going, ‘Well shame more students died but what can you do?’” 

“Oh look ___ is surprised that I’m alive.”

“Oh no we need a break after that lesson...”

“Just me ____ and whatever I can steal from the Professor.”

“Yes! The Professors favorite wizarding card is ours!!”

“Dumbledore’s snickering in the background like, ‘Slytherin’s so stupid.’”

“What a useless Prefect, I can see the best ones are guarding the stairs.”

“Oh come on this is the one time people are focusing on me instead of ___ give me this one thing.” 

“Alright, we’re almost there, just gonna take the scenic route through the Slytherin’s.”

“Here, he’s/she’s/their your responsibility now you take care of it.”

“I’m coming for ___ next he’s/she’s/their a pushover, I may as well take advantage.”

 “Feckin drink it if you love ___ so much.”

 “Then why don’t you secretly take care of him/her/them.”

“What- What did I do? Besides assault all of you?”

“How did you know all of this and why are you coming to me!?”

“Oh, I got some house points for beating up some students... I love Hogwarts!”

“Do you think I have to do something else like not just assault this poor thing? 

“Let’s try blinding it....”

“___, you’re use to submitting to things higher up the food chain like ___ maybe you can do it.” 

“And what a beautiful assistant ____ is!”

“Uh- ____ you’re beautiful assistant is staring at me....”

“I think there’s a lot more than one chamber of secrets and I don’t want to find the answers to those secrets.”

“I’m sorry ___ but if I could turn back time I’d do it again!”

“No, I'm not in the mood for it ___ it’s hard enough to deal with when I’m healthy.”

‘Two twenty-three? That is definitely being rigged, why would they have an odd number of points?”

“I'm gonna have a concussion by the time I get to the pitch!”

“Can we take a moment to appreciate how thick ____ is.”

“You’re sleeping schedule is fecked ____.”

“Slytherin out at night! Slytherin out at night! Catch me~ Catch me~”

“They didn’t even give the Slytherins a chance at being normal people, they banished them to the dungeons- This would make me full of contempt too!”

“I’d know that abuse from anywhere that’s ____!”

“Let me guess ____ you’re exhausted.”

“You’re not ____! I already prefer you though...”

 “Oh, another day another class which means another day a Professor tries to kill me....”

“Who knows maybe today the Professor might pick someone else to do the challenge.”

“Oh? A crawlspace behind your bookcase! That’s not creepy at all little man!”

“I kinda like ___. I like the cut of his/her/their jib! he’s/she’s/they’re very upfront with his/her/their crimes of trying to kill children.” 

“Ah, you idiot! You’ll never make Cirque Du Soleil!”

“I don’t care who wrote this, I’m not making anything ‘jucied’ with life! I don’t know what it means but I’m not doing it!”

“____’s the master of absolutely nothing but good thing I’m here to save the day!”

“You see you thought I was going to compliment him/her/them but no that would never happen.”

“Wow this can’t even light candles, this is an awful spell.” 

“Oh no, ____’s just here to be suspicious of me.” 

[bardic-tales]

💬💬💬

Hello, Noiré. Thanks for the ask. I hope you're having a fantastic day or night.

These three quotes are going to be from Pale Fire, my high seas dark fantasy. They are a mix between Anabelle Vasser and Seamus Jorinuson.

"Drop the port anchor! Drop it now! When it catches the seabed, the Arlette will turn. When she turns, fire the cannons and send these dogs to the Death Plane!"

cw: language

"I waited for you. You don't even want to know how long I waited for you on that bridge in Tokus. I waited all day and into the night for you. Don't bother giving me some excuse. You're not even an Easterner. You're a Shadow Blade. Why the fuck didn't you just tell me that in the Eastern Kingdoms? And then you jump off my ship?! What are you even doing here?

"I waited for you. It was dark before I left, and I felt a right arse for waiting as long as I did. You don't have a reason to give me. There is no excuse. You can't even tell me your feckin' name. I don't know why I even still care for you, but I do. I'm a damned idiot, that's why."