#i'm a dionysus worshipper what do you want

[deermouth]

Not the rotisserie chicken

i know ok i know i knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

[khaire-traveler]

Tbh I mostly sent that ask bc I'm listening to someone review an ARC of Crown of Starlight which is supposed to be a retelling of how Ariadne and Dionysus met, but sci-fi and its just so many things pissing me off.

Like the Moirai are a cult????? Who are obsessed with like, purity culture????? Like the Christian kind???

And the author boasts that she's writing the first ever androgynous Dionysus when DIONYSUS HIMSELF IS ANDROGYNOUS AND ALWAYS HAS BEEN!! HE HAS AN EPITHET LITERALLY FOR HOW ANDROGYNOUS HE IS!!! HIS MYTHS FUCK WITH GENDER A LOT!! YOU DIDN'T INVENT SHIT!!!!

Ariadne is just a "I'm not like other girls" trope in such a stereotypical way and I HATTTTTEEE it. Like you can gave a girl not fit in and have it be interesting and not simultaneously shit on other women its not that hard. Like in Circe she showed interest in what Daedalus was doing and was curious about his inventions, and it made her more of her own character and also set her apart from the other women in her family. Not saying its the most perfect example but it's better than making her a fucking Pick Me girl who's pretending to not be a Pick Me.

Sorry just omg I could go on, I'm so glad this book will never be published.

Long rant incoming lol. Be warned.

Listen, I've come to accept that retellings will never be perfect to my standards because I'm a worshipper, and most of these authors are not. I've come to understand that it's ok for pieces to just stand on their own and exist without me interacting with them; I'm not being forced to engage with something I don't actually like. But this? What the hell even is this? There's a difference between creating your own retelling for the sake of artistic liberty with a story that means a lot to you and claiming to have created something that the thousands of years old culture you're basing your story on ALREADY created. See, there is a RIGHT and WRONG way to do retellings. The right way is more of a loose definition at times, but the wrong way sticks out like a sore thumb because it's typically extremely obvious.

This person has an interesting concept that fell right into their lap, then completely disregarded the original culture the story stemmed from. I don't want to ever discourage someone from writing again or trying to create an interesting story, since I understand how personal writing can be, but this is fucking ridiculous, and there is no excuse for being so blatantly incorrect about the source you're pulling your information directly from. "I'm the first writer to make Dionysus androgynous!" Read a book about Dionysus that isn't a retelling, and get back to me on that, jackass, because he's actually always been that way, and it's shitty of you to spread misinformation for the sake of boasting about your book.

People representing the gods negatively is no surprise to me, especially the Moirai - many authors seem to have a complex relationship with fate itself, in that way - but I really feel like they're being limited in a cult. It sounds so humanizingly plain, and I wouldn't enjoy that artistic liberty, personally, since to me, fate is inherently inhuman; I think it exists outside the bounds of human comprehension. It feels kind of boring and unnecessary to make them into a cult. There's so many other things you could do with them: make them into indifferent Eldritch horror space beings, depict them as strange yet slightly sinister sisters who live in the middle of nowhere and seem to have something just a little unsettling about them, or, hell, even depict them as animals who show up throughout the book as motifs of fate. Like, come on, a cult? I don't know; I guess it's just not for me. And making Ariadne a Pick Me? Ariadne? Really? There's so many things wrong with that interpretation of her, especially the fact that in the original myth, she was abandoned by Theseus on an island, essentially left to die, and was found by Dionysus who fell in love with her. It's not as if she was going out of her way to get picked up by him or something; she just happened to be there when he ran into her, from my understanding. She has gone through this incredibly traumatic experience and still persevered, and all this author can think of is "Lol she's such a Pick Me." Like???? Why???? Why do you think this???? You befuddle me. I am bemused. This reminds me of how people make Patroclus into a cute little UwU man who can't live without Achilles and can't really do much to defend himself, even though, in The Iliad, it took two soldiers and a GOD to finally kill him because he was so fierce in battle. I feel like a chihuahua barking at a wall about this, though, so I'll move on.

I'm not sure what book this is, but as a worshipper, and even just a fan of history, it's so frustrating to hear about. Like, if someone wrote a genuinely interesting book about this with the sci-fi elements, I'd find it extremely interesting, even if the gods weren't always depicted in the best light. Even ancient myths didn't always depict them in the best light, and that's ok, actually. Is it extremely annoying and upsetting when people lean too hard into it? Yes, absolutely. Is it an automatic reason to despise a piece of media? I'd say no because then you're going to miss out on a lot of really cool things that are out there. But there is still a wrong way to go about these representations, and this is one of the biggest ones: blatant misinformation for selfish gain. Another would be demonizing a god without giving them any redeemable qualities, since oftentimes, in myth, they are still rather complex, despite the wild things they do or that happen. It sounds to me like they've done this with the Moirai somewhat, though I don't fully know that.

These are just my thoughts on the matter, but yeah, this is wild. Thank you for taking me on this hectic ride lol. I'm always more than happy to hear about new weird things I've never heard of before, so feel free to share other things if you ever stumbled upon them. Also, I would love to know the name of this book if you remember it. I'm so glad I've never heard of this before, tbh. Take care, Nonny. 🧡

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

Cupid's Curse

Chapter Seven

Warnings: alcohol, drinking, horny times, misuse of powers (oops), random strangers??

Taglist: @gingermous @mt2sssss @dev-angeline @graciexmarvel

Chapter Six | Chapter Eight

Two series of events happened: Steven went to talk to his friend, the living statue, and you went to a bachelorette party.

First off, you aren't much of a party person. Once you party hard with Dionysus and his worshippers, you kinda partied enough for centuries. Yet, here you are at this bachelorette party with your college friends. You can't help but be beaming with joy equally with the bride to be, not only do you welcome the aura of Philautia and Storge. Love of self (not to be confused with narcissism) and the love of friendship. Given how your months was Eros and Mania filled, you need a breather! Sure, you rather not be a dance club with loud music and glow sticks or glowing paint on people. Feels like you are reliving the party time college years all over again.

Seems she wanted her bachelorette party to be a blast rather than calm. Oh well.

"Congratulations!"

"Thank you, aaaah I'm so happy right now!"

"Good ol' ball and chain to keep ya both financially stable."

"Dude, go fight the system another time."

"Haha, you won't feel that way once you find 'the one'."

Your other friend scoffs.

"I'm happy for you. May you have many happy years together." You say to your friend.

Back in college your friend was (is) head over heels for this guy in her engineering class. They both are the same friend groups and it was painfully obvious they are into each other. Everyone was trying to encourage them to talk to each other, but they both were shy and only spoke to each about assignments and the latest episode of some show. It was unbearable to most how they were when left alone, you adored it. You wanted to snatch those two and bottle them up. Of course, being their friend, you help them out by giving them a nudge towards each other.

Aphrodite would not approve if you left them to part ways after graduation never opening up to each other!

By nudge you mean a prick of the legendary golden arrow dubbed the Eros' arrow or Cupid's love arrow often seen on Valentine's day decorations.

For the bad reputation of Cupid's arrow… Most if it is very true. Cupid's arrows, infamous for all the problems it causes both mortals and Gods alike. The golden arrow of love and leaden arrow of repulsion, these famously used on a God and nymph. The golden arrow is rightfully feared for the most stoic person can become an emotional romantic within seconds of it piercing the heart! The arrow head is laced with the power of Mania (obsessed) and Ludus (playful), thus creating the lethal poisonous version of 'love at first sight'. The rose colored glasses affect.

Apollo knows well the power of love.

The nymph knows the power to be repulsed by love.

The leaden arrow temporarily draws away all ability to love someone whether romantically, platonically, familiarly, etc. Heart hollowed, though temporarily.

You never used the arrow frivolously! With great consideration, a lot of praying; you know what needs to be done as a creature of love.

One arrow shot through both hearts connecting them both; the rarity to seeing Pragma taking place warms your heart to this day.

So, you are letting it go how they and yourself agreed to party it up this last night of single-ness for your friend!

"Wow, that's what I call true love." One friend says as the newly bride shows off her engagement ring. You laugh at how materialistic that is. She shows it off then regales everyone with stories about her relationship. The trips, the silly arguments, the way she supports him and he supports her. "Guys, I don't know what to do with myself! He's perfect! We're perfect!"

Seems the golden arrow didn't have to do much work besides giving them a confidence boost to speak their feelings out to each other.

"Enough mushy stuff," You helped book a spot in the seating area of the club for this party. Your cynical friend gestures for the waiter to start serving the drinks. Glowing liquor in shot glasses. You eye it curiously as everyone grabs a glass then lifts it up in the air.

"Cheers!" They shout toasting each other's shot glass of liquor in the air, "Come on, (Name), live a little."

Normally, you wouldn't drink.

Given how these months have been torture… And your heart has been playing games with your life.

"Alright. One drink." Might as well enjoy yourself for the night.

One night.

The drinks (yeah you didn't stop at one) started to kick in while you were awkwardly dancing. You are greatly undressed (by them you are dressed perfectly) for this! Too much skin, too short, too tight, wearing a wig is overheating you.

The panic is first, it tries to ground you quickly before you start letting loose.

"There she is!"

To them they see this party animal but you know the true, a piece of Aphrodite comes out. With her heart you understood why she was the way she was, so full ready to burst with love; no one to connect with her on the same level as see. Ares came close but then she was forced to marry Hephaestus, soon love made her become what you once tried to deny: a bored God.

The Olympians died because of their own hubris, the demi-God children (most of Zeus) grew tired of Hera and other Gods putting them through unnecessary trials for their amusement.

Hercules to lead them.

You swore to never become like the Gods of Olympus, though you are still half mortal and will make mistakes, you will never be cruel.

"Wooo, yas get in there!" Cheering as you give in the beating heart's whims.

You are flawed, mistakes are natural.

*

Nature boy, you know the song. It's playing right now, a bad remix of it, but playing nonetheless. You are drunk on everything right now. The liquor, the environment, the man touching you and you touching him. You moan when you feel someone behind you grinding against your ass. Eyes glowing pink as the flashing lights go wild with each bass drop, your dress lifted a bit further up until a bit if your ass is showing.

They don't understand you as you speak Greek, moaning out nicknames for you don't know who is touching you. Nor will they ever know who you are. Because of the wildness of your group, wigs are something you all wear for fun. A loud outfit, loud wigs and shades, be loud and partying hard.

You decided to wear all pink, wig, shades, dress, and nail polish; not much covered but enough to be decent. A walking Eros.

"Fuck," Hand tugging you to the back where the bathrooms are. The second dancer is forgotten (and will forget about you for your touch is a temporary high right now), the first one pinning you to a wall kissing and touching you everywhere.

His heart is so light yet with so many complex emotions. You touch his chest letting your power seep into the cracks of his broken heart.

"Shit!" It hurts at first causing him to stop, then he smiles as he stares at you with temporarily pink glowing eyes for a second. "You are…" You shush him with a kiss, full of love. "Damnit, need this off of you." You giggle at the way the stranger is so needy, so desperate, so lonely. You have fucked someone touched starved before but if you didn't know any better this guy's heart seems hallow.

"Soon," Promising him. "Gods!"

Your powers are going haywire as he touches you and you touch him. Eros running high in your system, his man adding yet taking thus increasing how go he feels every second he is touching you.

"Relax," Whispering the command in his ear, you tug him back into the crowd. "Enjoy this with me." His hands on your waist as music changes, "Good boy." Your hands playing with the dark curls, dark brown eyes hidden behind his eyelids but those long lashes are beautiful too, tall enough to tower over you but he curls over you as he is led to match this new dance.

You don't want to fuck him (yet), you only want to fill his sad heart with a bit of love. A sad divided heart, you want to hold it and bathe it in your love.

[scummynami]

Do you have any Yandere Hermes headcanons?

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Also, please feel free to give me more asks, I unexpectedly like doing these... As twisted as it sounds...

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Warnings: Short mention of c@nnib@lism, r@pe, m@nipul@tion, mentions of abooos, inappropriate speech and behaviour.

!!Read at your own discretion!!

Well, my headcanons for yandere Hermes is a bit, how do people say it, deviant? Or warped? But don't worry, it's only a bit.

I see Hermes as a yandere who'd do anything... just to steal from you, whether it be a dress, jewelry or food. Because apparently, and with his own words I quote, “... a few freshly cleaned togas from your dressers are more valuable than his worshipper's prayers and abundant offerings.”

A huuuuuge creep.

I'd say Hermes is a different yandere to Dionysus. Dionysus is calm and collected (I like to say that it's due to his personality and age), while our bitch Hermes radiates full on blinding beams of youth.

He has lots of energy to waste, which isn't really an advantage for you, especially when all you wanna do is run away from him~

Like Dionysus, he'd eventually turn to manipulation and msybe sprinkle a bit of guilt tripping for some spice.

Sneaking around him isn't even a choice anymore, that man can hear you from a mile away and would be by your side in a flash while taunting you and asking (in a very humiliating mocking way) what your next step is.

Of course, he'd only do ↑↑↑ this if you were trying to run away from him, and if not, he would just play along and pretend that he doesn't see you sneaking into the kitchen, acting like a thief, as you rummage through the cupboards for the delicious sweets he brought over yesterday.

If you found out about his... other side, and tried to run away from him. The least most painful he can do to you is humiliating you. Yep. Out of all the things in the world... Humiliation is the way to go with that blondie.

He'd try his best to get those rare opportunities to humiliate you and crush your confidence, before building you up with clumsy hands and double meaning words.

He loves showing you off. That's it. Period.

Has complete disregard to your heart. Him before you is what he likes to say.

Oh what's that? You're sick and you'd get worse if you keep moving about? Oh, don't worry! He'll just call Apollo over and make him heal you, only after dancing though. He wants to dance right now and he's going to do that with you whether you like it or not.

A big, ass, motherfucking hypocrite. I don't even want to get into the details, you'll just be left annoyed.

Will punch air if you're seen spending time with other people, whether said 'other people' is family or friend.

Why are you spending time with those greedy, disgusting vermins? Is he not important enough? Should he just take you away and isolate you from the whole world until you realise that the only person you'd ever need to talk to... Is him?

But don't worry, being his darling doesn't only have cons, there are some pretty good pros too!

He would never ever let you do chores ever, especially for him. His angel only needs to relax and look pretty for him, while he does everything for you. And it's times like these when you'd pray to thank his parents for making him a hypocrite.

You'd be showered from head to toe with the world's luxury... If you're a good darling. If you were the resistant and feisty type, I'm so sorry but this mans loves being in charge. He'd lose interest in you as soon as he sees you acting so stubborn against him.

I get the feeling that he gets this sense of thrill from having a sub darling.

Punishments with this big boyo is definitely not fun. But don't worry, he'd never rape you. He'd rather die than to lay a hand on you. Why? Well, you're special. You're not just something that keeps him up all night. You make his heart beat in a different way.

But don't be too relieved yet, he will still hurt you, just in a ~different~ way.

*domestic violence has joined the chat*

Like I said, he's a big, big, hypocrite.

He will confuse you to no end! One day he'd say he loves you so much, he's give the world to you. Then the next day, he'd embarrass you in public just because you forgot to serve him wine that evening. You'd never know when he'd strike you or kiss you. You'd be at luck's mercy, and unfortunately for you, he's the God of Luck so...

If you ever live through the abuse and finally managed to learn how to avoid triggering his aggressive side, don't relax yet because that man is so unpredictable, the next day, you might be eating your first born because of a minor mistake you did last night.

Giver of Trauma is his middle name~

Side note: If you ever try to cheat on him. Don't. Of you do, then all I can say is don't worry, he won't kill you, no. That would be way too easy for both you and your partner. Instead, he will traumatise you so bad by slowly torturing and killing your lover in front of you, I like to think that it would be so bad, you'd never consummate with anyone at all apart from Hermes, fearing he'd do it again.

And as disgusting as this sounds. Even after all of the emotional, physical and mental torture he put you through, he will definitely act as if nothing even happened while also discreetly reminding you of it by wearing a warm smile while saying the three most dreadful words ever to exist.

Because at the end of the day, whether you like it or not, he is your lover and you are his. Isn't that right?

"I love you, [name]."

--------------

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[thegrapeandthefig]

Hello there! I sincerely hope that you are having a wonderful day! I've recently found your blog after getting into Hellenic Polytheism and I'd like to thank you for the work that you do, as your posts have been very informative and helpful. Other than that, I was hoping to ask some questions as a "baby hellenic" worshipper of Dionysus — if you're still accepting asks about him at this time, that is. If not, that's totally alright! In the case that you are accepting asks, then please forgive me for what I think will be a lengthy passage.

I'm a minor who was raised in a primarily Muslim household, and my interest in Dionysus came into being at around the year 2020, when we were learning about Minoan Crete through online classes. At the time, I had only known him as "joyous Bacchus" or the drunk party god, so I was amazed to see that according to some myths, he had married Princess Ariadne of Crete, who is famously known for being abandoned on the island of Naxos by her lover, Prince Theseus of Athens. One could say that Dionysus immediately received my respect after hearing of this, but was quickly forgotten as my mental health declined alongside my academic prowess. Fast forward to the year 2021, I had rediscovered the myth (one could say that they're my mythology otp) and in the process, found out about Dionysus' dual nature, which I could not comprehend until much later, when I was recovering from a state of nihilism and suicidal ideation — only to discover Nietzsche's Dionysian philosophy and the inputs of Sir Walter F. Otto. As a sheltered child who had just gone through her first mental breakdown, it was exactly what I needed and I like to think that Dionysus Eleuthereus liberated me from my constraints, so I am doing much better nowadays — which is why I had very recently decided to become a closeted worshipper through offering prayers and devotional acts.

I do, however, acknowledge that he is a very complex god who could be potentially dangerous, and as much as I revere him and wish to get to know him more, I don't think I'm mentally prepared or even have the time to try and practice divination. Could I still worship him despite this "roadblock?" I genuinely want him to be a part of my life as he is the one to whom I mainly offer the credit when my healing is concerned. If I can, then would you happen to have any tips for fostering a relationship with him in this manner? Do the Theoi send signs in this case? How do they communicate and how could one respond? And finally, should I ever decide to partake in divination, where's a good place to start? Thank you so much if you decide to answer my queries and may the gods bless you abundantly! 💜

Hi! Thank you for the kind words, I’m glad you found the content of this blog useful. And apologies for making you wait several days for an answer, I’m still a in a time crush so forgive any hastiness in tone, I just don’t want to keep this in my inbox for too long.

I’ll answer your questions in thematic groups, for clarity:

Could I still worship him despite this "roadblock?" If I can, then would you happen to have any tips for fostering a relationship with him in this manner?

Yes. You don’t have to (nor would I recommend it anyway) jump in head first and devote your entire life to him right off the bat. It is absolutely good to just start small, with worship that relates to your needs. If you feel that the epithet Eleuthereus is one that you already feel pulled towards, then nothing stops you from continuing on focusing on this one and just grow from the place where you have already started. Continue giving offerings, continue building kharis with him, and let things evolve at their own pace, without forcing speedy progress. Speed won’t serve you in this endeavour. Eleuthereus is also particularly linked to the world of theater and the stage, so can also be something to explore for you.

Do the Theoi send signs in this case? How do they communicate and how could one respond? Should I ever decide to partake in divination, where's a good place to start?

They might, but as with anything, I cannot predict what will happen for you. Going in without any type of divination does complicate things, but you can always either rely on gut feeling or seek out friends who could divine for you. In term of responding, it very much depends on the matter at hand. But often, responding will be doing: giving something in particular, researching something etc.

As for starting with divination, my main advice would be to choose a system and stick to it for a time. I don’t think it’s a good idea to start learning too many different methods at once. It’s a craft that takes time and practice (for interpretation, I mean). When exploring, I do like to advise “simpler” forms like bibliomancy, shufflemancy and online tools like the Homeromanteion or @verdantlyviolet’s Sapphomanteia system which can be done online too. Other people like shufflemancy, which is music-based, for example. These seem like “low-effort” methods, but they are, in my opinion, good ways to get used to interpretation before stepping into more complex methods like tarot, geomancy, etc.

I hope this helps. Truly, my advice comes down to just taking it slow and building your worship at your own pace and with the focuses that are relevant to your situation.

[teawiththegods]

Hiii Pastel Priestess!

I'm sorry to bother, but I'd love to hear your opinion because I'm very confused right now, and I would appreciate your help a lot!

So, I'm not an active worshipper yet for a series of reasons, but I've been preparing all summer to become a Hellenic. I had an idea of which deities I wanted to dedicate an altar to ( Dionysus, Ares and Hephaestus ), however, I have been feeling drawn to Apollo lately. But here's the problem... I'm also afraid of him. I know he is beautiful, awesome and practically perfect at everything he does, nevertheless I also know he's really determined and always pushes his worshippers to become the best version of themselves. It may sound amazing, but to me, it's scary. I grew up with very strict parents and they always pushed me to do things I wasn't sure about. It is obvious they did it for my good, because they love me, it has helped me become a responsible person and I'm grateful for it, but I can't say it wasn't stressful growing up.

I'm curious about Apollo, however I don't want to be pushed and stressed again, I don't want to have another strict presence in my life. I want to be free, have healthy relationships with the deities, without letting anxiety and insecurities get in the way. Maybe I'm perceiving Apollo in the wrong way? Maybe he's not as terrible as I think? I'd love to hear your opinion since you worship him. Thanks a lot for reading, I really appreciate all the material you put out there for confused beginners like me, sending lots of love!! 💕

Hello, love!!

So one of the most wonderful things about Apollo is that he’s a stud and a genius! Meaning he knows that not everyone is going to respond positively to his more pushy strict aspect. There are plenty of worshipers like you who grew up in a very strict environment making that kind of energy really triggering. Thankfully the gods are multifaceted beings so Apollo has more to him than just his strict nature. He can and does teach his worshipers in a more gentle soft energy when he knows they will respond better to it. It ultimately comes down to what he knows is best for each individual and what they specifically need from him. He is humanity's life coach after all! 

[whichwitchami]

If you've got time, and you want to share, would you mind telling us how you came to worship the gods that you do? Like... Did they choose you? Did you choose them? How did you decide? Were you just drawn up them, if so why? I'm very.. confused about picking a deity(s) because what I'm drawn to seems so odds with who I am. So I'm hoping hearing order people's stories will help. Sorry. ~🏵️

oooh this is such a good question! Thank you for asking. 

I think ultimately its different for everyone. I know that’s a shitty answer cos its not really helpful. Some people feel like they’re chosen, like the pantheon was just waiting for them to figure it out, and some feel like it was highly intentional on their part. 

For me, it kind of was a combination of all 3?

For the Greek gods it was more me stumbling into what was “familiar” when exploring an unfamiliar path. Greek Mythology was actually taught to me in schools, so when I actively decided to explore paganism, it was easy to go to what was more or less know. 

So I chose Apollo after some research into him, knowing he was the god of magic and healing made him very appealing. Hades and Persephone were kind of no brainers for me cos I’ve always loved their myths, and their representation of a healthy relationship. Hades is iffy on whether or not he chose me or I chose him, cos he’s been really helpful in working with me on my anxiety. Athena was a chosen by me thing for studying, though truthfully that relationship never really worked out well. 

In the Greek Pantheon, a few wandered in. Like Poseidon. He showed up and hung out for a bit then dipped all on his own accord. Dionysus did a similar thing though he’s still around in a very behind the scenes kind of capacity. So overall it was me reaching out to people and forming relationships there. Some of them are still solid, like Hades, but most have faded away.

I can’t say if they faded away because me “choosing” them was less authentic than them “choosing” me, or if it was because I wasn’t 100% on the Greek Pantheon.

I tried making relations with some of the Celtic Pantheon and it ended up being a hard pass. We just didn’t click at all. Same with Artemis and a couple others from the Greek Pantheon that I thought I wanted to work with but not able/ willing to put forth the effort they would want of a worshipper. 

Ultimately I did the thing where I “stumbled” on the Norse Pantheon and it really was kind of a “hey you finally made it” response from them. I did research on Night sky/Moon/Star based deities and found Mani, who welcomed me with open arms. I think he’ll always say I chose him but he really was just waiting for me to figure it out. He likes it when I have autonomy/ accountability in that way so he won’t say either way. 

Once I found Mani the rest kind of came bursting in. First Frigg, Thor, then Freyja, then Frey and so on. I never planned on going deeper than Mani, Frigg, and Thor. I even actively stayed away from Loki despite him beating down my door. I finally accepted that while I did chose some of my deities, I was always meant to find the Norse Pantheon. 

I can’t really say that anyone came to me first? I usually started with research and “chose” who I wanted to start with, either with them ultimately backing down after giving it a shot, or with them welcoming me with open arms in a “hey you made it” vibe. A few had to beat down my door (Loki) cos I didn’t see myself as a worshipper of them but they were in a pantheon I had “chosen” and knew we could help each other. 

TL;DR

in case my ramblings were too much, basically some came from me researching themes I was drawn to (magic, healing, death, the night sky) and trial and error with deities in each pantheon until I found the ones that felt like home. They felt like home because they may have already chosen me and were waiting for me to come to the conclusion myself, because free will is a thing. Some agreed to me reaching out to them and stuck around even if they hadn’t noticed me/ wanted to work with me first. 

hopefully that all makes sense and isn’t too rambly. I can answer any clarifying questions that you or anyone else who reads this has.