#i'll reblog this myself whenever I get new ones and remember

[cmchill]

I love that feeling when STEM geeks chat about absolutely anything. We use random math or science lingo for absolutely anything.

"Just take an absolute value of my passion for these characters"

*Debating how to do optimization when it comes to plotting your walking route and what variables to prioritize*

On finding a career that fits really well when the one you're in isn't quite right: "you just need to start some small perturbations" "yeah perturb yourself"

Something something mean median mode

"It's like crossing the event horizon, you just get sucked into this experience and there's no escape"

Pretty niche: "Rather than be a 'T-shaped' person with depth in one area of expertise and breadth across some other areas, I was thinking why not be a person shaped like the gravitational potential of our solar system: big depth in one central area, with a 3d "T-bar" that goes out and has numerous additional divots of depth."

The classic: comparing something to superposition or wave-particle duality (have you guessed I'm a physics gal yet?)

"It's kind of like, I have the code for the task but my internal compiler just isn't running for some reason"

Please add more if you have any fun examples of using STEM lingo out of context or to communicate something only tangentially related! (I live for this stuff)

[jojo-oliver]

How to tumblr for artists… my own version

A collection of things that have been working for me, but may not work for everyone

~~~ your posts ~~~

!!!reblog your own stuff!!! you need to reblog your own stuff, there is nothing morally wrong with reblogging your own stuff regularly. in fact, it is morally right to allow the chance for more people to see your artwork.

~~~ queue it!! ~~~ my queue is 500 posts strong. maybe don't try to make your queue hundreds of posts strong in the same day omg but like… once every month or two i'll go through my whole blog and just scroll and "add to drafts" to every one of my own posts i have. then i'll use the "mass post editor" to add content warning tags. and add to queue, and shuffle. and then I write down what the date was for when I last added my posts to be reblogged on queue. this is helped by turning on timestamps for posts in tumblr "dashboard preferences" settings.

queueing is necessary and life saving for me. It takes out so much work with decision fatigue and the anxiety around posting. It also guarantees that even if I suddenly need time off or away from my phone, I don't just disappear and lose all traction. It also breaks the instant-gratification cycle that you expect when you finish an artwork. It's hard to keep creating when you post something and, when you're expecting to get that gratification, you get none... If you queue your new artwork to come out at a later time, you've separated that expectation - with time. It hurts less and contributes to a more consistent gratification thing instead of peaks and troughs.

~~~ tag ya stuff ~~~ when you're making a new post, the first 20 tags are what gets put into the searchable tags. do not feel shame for using lots of tags. shame is the mind-killer. tags are hard. hard to know what to tag a post with. hard to remember the tags. so I found some ways to help myself. maybe they'll help you too. dedicate some time towards just figuring out what tags you want to use. i have a list in my phone notes that i add tags to and reference whenever i'm making a new post. i have the phone right beside the laptop while i'm tagging so that i can just look at it and scroll. tags are the only way for people to find your artwork, other than people manually coming to your blog because they saw you somewhere. there is no algorithm. posting without tags, until you have an established fanbase, is throwing something into the void.

When I'm doing tag research, I look at what people seem to use - when you put something in the search bar, tumblr recommends you some that have a higher following, typically. Looks like this on desktop:

if you like one tag, look at what other people who use that tag also tag their posts with. Observe and learn how this tag is used. search through a bunch of them and write them down.

here's what i got in my notes, for the specific kind of art I post and look for:

these tags are sort of specific to me and the kind of art I make. You'll want to research your own tags, but this is an example of how I keep them organized to make posting more effective. I generally only write down a tag when it's got more than 2k followers. You might be tempted to use the tags with millions of followers, but I've actually found those a lot less functional for small artists. If your stuff doesn't immediately get a bunch of notifications, you're drowned out and pushed to the bottom much faster. But the bigger tags are better than no tags, so I keep them if I can't think of anything else to tag something with.

~~~ post at the right times….? ~~~

fridays and saturdays is when I post fresh new things... usually. every website has it's own peak hours, and you can find those hours in many different online articles that try to sell you social media growth services. tumblr is unique in having later hours.

here's some random graph from google images:

please don't over think this. please don't let this consume the idea of when to post, preventing you from posting at all. it doesn't mean too much - if you post during very active hours, maybe your art would just be pushed down the feed faster. if you post at the end of hours, maybe everyone's going to sleep… if you post at inactive hours, maybe there's less 'competition'… if you post at the beginning of active hours, maybe that's just more time for your post to circulate for the day, if you have enough people reblogging it once it drops....

this also is in EST. So fuck the other time zones, I guess. I'm over here in europe knowing that the "best" time to post would be like 2-3am or something. It's like this for most english-speaking majority sites - higher traffic in north american time zones.

it's also worth mentioning that this is scattered as heck, compared to other social media sites. and it's not like, the activity times of your followers. it's not the best time to post for your niche. this is just tumblr, broadly. all of tumblr.

~~~ Plan ahead for annual dates ~~~

Your artwork will get more circulation if it's posted on a celebratory day. You could just put them on your calendar and if you're wondering what to make, look on the calendar for what's coming soon. For example, asexual awareness day, trans day of visibility, location-specific holidays, etc. Here's my phone notes thing with my own recorded annuals:

I got these dates from googling and reading different articles, but I find that I still miss dates, and then I add them for next year. If you know of some I missed, tell me and I'll add them please <3

~~~ reblog other people's stuff ~~~

tumblr is sorta about ecosystems. things get passed around within groups of people that are all following eachother. to enter this ecosystem, you must engage and reblog other people's stuff too.

if you reblog other artists' stuff, sometimes they'll come over and reblog your stuff too. sometimes they'll follow you back. this is called becoming a mutual. I'll search specific tags for the kinds of people I want to follow and the kind of art I like - those are listed in the screenshot of my tag note under "Tags for finding new people".

I see a lot of blogs out there that are very clean, posts are tagless, and are only for the artists' content. like scrolling through a portfolio. I imagine this is good for people who are migrating to tumblr but already have their own established fanbase from elsewhere.

you don't need to do reblog other people's stuff on your art blog, you can do this on a separate blog. but if the two don't look very closely correlated, it's hard to tell who you are when you're interacting. and hard to make sure people know that you are the same person as your art blog. and you gotta remember to promote yourself on your personal blog.

~~~ have an art tag ~~~

make your blog easy to search!

if i go to your blog, and you've written 'artist' or 'sometimes art' in your bio, i wanna see it… it make me so sad when i don't get to see it. i want to reblog it. please let me reblog it :(

to make a tag on your own blog searchable, you don't need to repost it to add a tag. you don't even need to reblog it. you can actually just go back to the original post and edit it to add your tag. I've seen post people just have their art tag be something like #(blogname)art . you can see my own in my tags image above. if it's very unique, then it'll work tumblr-wide. I think that's good, since the tumblr search function is really weird. Otherwise it should still work if it's not entirely unique, people just have to make sure they're searching specifically your blog to see only your stuff.

I like to have a link in my pinned post where people can click to have immediately searched for my art tag. Convenience is king. Keep in mind that most people are on mobile, and if something isn't immediately clickable, they often won't find it.

~~~ be consistent and be patient ~~~

!!!this time will pass anyway!!! how many notes you have is not correlated with how good you are as an artist. wanting to earn something from your art means you essentially have two jobs. two potentially full time jobs. this shit's difficult. most of the job is promoting yourself. don't undersell how hard it is to do… don't feel bad for not immediately succeeding. I would write about how hard it's been to promote myself, but it would just be long and sad I think.

This isn't a full guide, please feel free to add more!!

I'm sure in another year I'll disagree with a lot of this, it will become irrelevant with time, and I'll have a lot of different opinions. Chip in and share what you've been doing? Teach me? This is very overwhelming. Don't do it all at once, just like, try one thing at a time, and see how it works for you. Your niche might be different. One size does not fit all. If you're confused about some of the things I talk about in here, you might be on mobile. I do most of my queueing and posting from the desktop browser version.

I will update this with more as things change, but I think you'll have to click through to see the updated post

[siren-serenity]

indefinite hiatus

hey everyone....I just wanted to state it loud and clear now that I'm currently taking a long break from Tumblr for a couple of reasons. some of these reasons may even seem familiar as you've probably seen other fanfic authors stating the same issue again and again.

lack of interactions

remember when I had my 'battle of the restaurant' event? when it came to requesting, everyone was sooooo eager to ask for stories to be written. but when I published them? barely any interactions. no likes, no reposts, barely a comment of 'thank you'. it was as if I was a robot, publishing pieces over and over again for nothing. all the hard work I poured into my event: gone.

this wasn't the first time though. every time I publish something, the like-to-reblog ratio is pathetic. no one wants to comment anything sweet or even just a silly ramble. where is the interactions? where is the liveliness that Tumblr is famous for?

2. burn out from irl

sometimes, I feel like I switch fandoms too quick and too fast for me to publish some works from previous fandoms. I started out as a twst author but now I'm into one piece and haikyuu and so many other fandoms that I feel like I have to write for them-

and then when I try to enjoy some anime, I realize that I'm barely feeding any readers with any content and then I'm feeling so much writers' block from the pressure I put onto myself. I understand that this is no one's fault, perhaps from my own perfectionist issues but it's still a problem I face day after day.

3. a new stage of life

nowadays, I'm in a position where I have more and more work poured onto me, leaving me barely anytime to write any content for my readers. it's honestly hurting me too, whenever I do my own IRL work and then start worrying about what everyone thinks about my lack of interaction in comparison to everyone else. I'm feeling more and more drained from this constant cycle of worry and manic stress

so, other than the lack of interaction, it's not really anyone's fault. please don't start getting depressed thinking you've utterly destroyed me into a million pieces (I promise I'm fine, I'm just working on myself right now). but please reflect on my works and how you interact with other fanfic authors on this website. Tumblr is a beautiful place with some of the most beautiful work I've ever seen and some of the most thoughtful pieces of writing and art I've been blessed with. don't let something like lack of engagement ruin what Tumblr is. please

a small thank you to all my mutuals who've kept me company for the past few months, year even.

@cloudcountry: you are my inspiration. my advisor whenever I'm lost, my biggest hype-man whenever I published something for 'battle of the restaurants' or just simple pieces of writing for the famous auburn x azul ashengrotto (priest siren for the win!!), and one of my earliest friends on Tumblr. thank you for making my time here so special and memorable, I'll keep a small place for you in my heart, always. please read her work and be nice to auburn!! she's a rare gem in Tumblr, super talented and super kind to everyone <3

@officialdaydreamer0: one of the best artists and horror writers I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. reading Irene's lore have never made me feel so much pity for an OC before yet I'm memorized by her intricate vocabulary when describing the horror setting. but in sharp comparison, her art and doodles are nothing but extraordinary. I wish I had Irene's ability to draw anatomy and clothing (!!!) as well as she does. but as a friend, thank you for being there for me. you were a constant anchor here in Tumblr so thank you for keeping me grounded. love you Irene!!

@hisui-dreamer: rinna!! she's honestly super cute and bubbly, her love for jade and her commitment into making her eel of jade was so adorable to see on every new post. not to mention her writing!! super beautiful and gorgeous pieces of work that I just want to gobble up everytime it appears on my dash. please continue enjoying her test work and whatever new fandom she finds in the future! rinna, thank you for being one of my best friends here in Tumblr, your sweet personality will always be remembered.

my first friend, @pastelclovds: thank you for being one of the best, if not (in my humble opinion), the best Dom reader blogs ive ever had the pleasure to find in Tumblr. as a Dom reader blog myself, your works are truly works of art because of how sinfully delightful each and every work is. although I may not be in the same fandom as you sometimes, the way you write the character's reactions are so perfect!! the imagery is so carefully crafted that I feel like watching rather than reading (in a completely good way!! if that makes sense??) please continue writing, we need more Dom reader blogs on Tumblr for starved people aka me. thank you for being there for me always, ame!! kisses and hugs to you, MUAH

to all my other mutuals, @ceruleancattail, @v-anrouge @merotwst (still waiting for my art hehe), @siphoklansan, @the-dumber-scaramouche, @savanaclaw1996, don't think I didn't forget you all!! I'm just feeling a bit drained rn to continue dedicating small paragraphs to each and every one of you (because you deserve the WORLD). thank you for sticking with my weird ass and being some of the best friends, if not, platonic soulmates on Tumblr ever. your works, whether art or writing, has always left me breathless in awe. keep shining, keep being who you are, and don't let criticism knock you down!! stupid anons who never have the balls to save things without the anonymous features!! I will fight them for you, give me a text!!! but love you all and thank you all so so much for everything,

to all my followers!! thank you for supporting me from when I first began (with cringe worthy smut works to fluff fics from one piece). idk how did you like my smut works from the beginning, it makes me cry when I reread them lmao. but all 700+ (WHEN DID I GO FROM 500 TO 700???) of you are gorgeous human beings that deserve to exist as your beautiful selves. please enjoy some of my moots works as well <3. but your support, from that one anon who sent me a paragraph on how beautiful my Jamil fanfic for mero's summer competition (whoever you are, YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING AND MORE!! IT MADE YOU CRY BRO I'M SO SAD I CAN'T FIND IT NOW) to some random comment about how sweet ace is (bc he honestly is), has made my day even better.

I'll still be here on Tumblr, but probably just lurking. I think I'm just too drained to join convos or be here 24/7 but I'll keep reposting pro-palestine posts and being here if someone sends me an inbox or a message!! thank you all for understanding <3.

one day I'll come back. I swear I will.

I'm going to blow you out of the water with my new writing skills (LIES I'M NOT GONNA GET THAT MUCH BETTER LMAO)!!! :)))

xoxo, siren-serenity

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Getting to know myself again

PAIRING | Bucky Barnes x Mid Size!Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 3.5K

SUMMARY | Both Bucky and Reader have been through life-altering situations that made them unsure of their bodies. Through their eyes, we will see what they will do to show each other how they can get to know and love their own bodies all over again after everything that has happened to them.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Bad body image, low self-esteem, suicidal tendencies, physical assault on Reader, talk about the loss of blood, body dysmorphia.

A/N | Hi all! This fic is based around the fact that I have always struggled with my body image, but I tried to put a positive spin on it in the end. Remember, every single person is different, but perfect in their own way! 🖤

Likes and reblogs would be very much appreciated 💜

Main Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist

It was promising to be a fun night out with the girls, but that wasn't how it turned out to be. Never did you think you would end up bleeding out in the emergency room of the hospital, but that is exactly how this night ended. Alone on the gurney waiting for them to fix you up, even though you'd rather have them leave you alone so you can just go without anyone knowing you'd even be gone. No one would even miss you anyway, or so you thought. The moment Bucky heard what happened, he was racing his way to the hospital to find his best friend who needed him more than anything at this moment.

Wanda and Natasha asked you to go clubbing with them, which you usually didn't do but figured it wouldn't hurt to go with them for once. They already asked so many times, and you didn't want to disappoint them again. ''Okay, but I don't have anything to wear, nothing looks good on me,'' you say, but the two ladies didn't want to hear any of it. ''Babe, you're absolutely perfect, everything looks good on you!'' Nat said, but you figured she only said that to make you feel better, not because she actually meant it. You are in no way close to the way they look. You have wide hips, thick thighs, a pouchy belly, and boobs that are way too big for your figure. Every time you had to pick something from the racks in a size 16 or 18, your heart immediately sank to your stomach, and you just wanted to turn around and leave.

''How about we go shopping together? That way we can find something that will make you look irresistible!'' Wanda offered, but the doubt immediately crept back into your mind. Irresistible? She must be joking right? but you decide to go anyway after a deep sigh. The least you could do is see if there was anything you liked to begin with, you could use some new clothes since most of your old ones are starting to fit rather tight for your liking. The three of you are going out to the mall when you run into Bucky. ''Hey, Buck!'' you say and a big smile appears on your face. ''Hey doll, looking good as always!'' he said with a flirty tone and a wink. ''Where are you heading off to?'' he asked. ''Just shopping with Nat and Wanda, I finally caved and we're going clubbing tonight..'' you said a little unsure. ''Sounds like a lot of fun! I'll see you later,'' he said and walked away to his destination.

''Really Y/N, I don't understand why you don't just give into your feelings for him already, I can tell he is really into you as well!'' Nat said. ''You must be joking? There is no way he would fall for someone like me, he just said that because we're friends, nothing more!'' you scoffed and turned red, you knew it was a bad idea to tell them how you feel about him. You were perfectly fine being friends with him, that way you could still hang out with him whenever you wanted, no strings attached. ''Yeah, he's totally into you! How about we go pick out an outfit that will make him go absolutely crazy for you?!'' Wanda says, but you don't feel up for that. ''I'm sorry Wanda, but I'd rather just pick out something I actually feel comfortable in,'' you said with a sad tone in your voice.

Natasha and Wanda go all out in the mall, buying multiple outfits, shoes, and accessories, but you just walk out with a simple outfit, a pair of black heels, and a small silver necklace for tonight, nothing over the top. The girls talked you into getting a simple black crop top that accentuated your boobs really nicely, and a pair of blue ripped jeans that made your ass look very good. It wasn't something you'd usually wear, but you would just step out of your comfort zone for this one night, it is the least you could do. ''You look gorgeous with that outfit babe. When we go back to the compound you should show it to Bucky and see what he thinks of it. I bet you aren't leaving tonight when he sees you in it,'' Wanda said with a grin on her face.

When you get back to the compound it is dinner time, and you decided to eat some takeout with the girls in your bedroom, so you could talk about your game plan for the night. These plans usually existed of deciding what to wear, how much to drink, and finding a cute guy to take home, even though that last bit wasn't on your mind at all, since it was already occupied by Bucky. ''Allright, I'm going to go change and I'm gonna say bye to Bucky, I promised to swing by before we would leave.'' you say and you walk into your bathroom after which you close and lock the door. You take your clothes off and look into your mirror, but you immediately regret doing that when the bad thoughts creep back.

Nobody loves you when you look like this. You're way too fat to be friends with them. Lose some weight so you'll actually fit in with everyone here. How are you even an Avenger with that body? It is a shame you even exist, everyone's life would be better without you.

As much as you try to keep your tears at bay, you fail horribly and let out an uncontrollable sob and the girls hear you. ''Babe, are you okay? What's wrong in there? Can we help?'' Nat and Wanda ask all at the same time, but you don't want to bother them with your low self-esteem and bad body image. Nobody needs to know about it, you already cause enough problems just being here. ''I'm fine, sorry. Nothing is wrong!'' you say through your tears and you turn on the faucet so you can splash some water on your face. After this you step out of the cotton underwear you're wearing and grab the lingerie you bought as well today, hoping it would turn your self-esteem up a little. It was a light yellow thong and a bra in the same color that pushed your boobs up nicely, to show off some cleavage, but not so much that you're entirely uncomfortable.

After this you step into the jeans and put your belt around it, you put on the black crop top and the silver necklace. You step into your heels and open the door, finally showing the girls the way you look. ''Damn girl, you look phenomenal!'' they said in unison, and it did feel good to hear them say it, even when you didn't believe it. You still feel like your thighs are way too big, and your belly is way too visible, but you decide to push the feelings aside for now and enjoy the moment. ''Thanks. I'll just go do my hair and make-up before heading to Bucky, I'll see you at the compound entrance at 10 okay?'' you asked and they agreed, both going to their own rooms to get ready.

You decide to go for a simple smokey eye with dark blue tints to complement the jeans you're wearing, and a light lipstick to not take away from the make-up. You straighten your hair, which you barely do so it is nice to do it every once in a while to change it up. When you're done, you walk out of your room and head toward Bucky's room, as you promised. You knock on his door and almost immediately it swings open. For the first few seconds, Bucky doesn't know what to say when he sees you, his mouth hanging open a bit when he takes in your outfit and make-up. ''Damn doll, if I didn't know any better I'd think you did this all for me! You are looking gorgeous right now!'' he said and he got a deep red blush on his face when he saw you walk into his room.

''Thanks, Buck, it means a lot,'' you say with a deep crimson color on your cheeks now. He always gave you compliments about your body, but he never looked at you like that, and you couldn't help but feel like you wanted him to look at you like that more often. ''You wanted to see me?'' you asked and you sat down on his couch in your usual spot. ''Uh, yeah, I did actually,'' he said with a sigh, not sure where to begin. ''I've been feeling like absolute shit today, and I don't know why, so I was hoping that seeing you would cheer me up a bit, and it really did. I had a pretty bad nightmare again last night, and ever since then I've really been on edge today..'' he said, not looking at you out of shame that he admitted having nightmares again. ''Are they back? Your nightmares?'' you asked, they had been gone for quite a while, but every once in a while they would pop back up, mostly when he was stressed. ''Yeah...'' he said, but he didn't want to admit he had a nightmare about losing you, he couldn't get himself to that point.

He came to sit next to you on the couch, and he put his hand on your thigh as a loving gesture, which went straight to your core. You put your hand on top of his, knowing he was looking for some comfort, and a small smile appeared on his face. You stayed there and talked about it some more, and eventually it was time for you to leave and go to the club with Natasha and Wanda. ''I have to go now, but I'll make sure to keep in touch with you when I can, allright?'' you said to him and pulled him in for a much needed hug for both of you. He put a soft kiss on your temple before you let go, and his lips lingered there for a few seconds, your eyes fluttering shut when he did it. ''See you later, doll, have fun.'' he said when you walked out his door to grab your purse and phone.

Once you arrived in the club with the girls, you immediately wanted to start with some shots in order to loosen up a little, and they didn't say no to that. You could handle your alcohol pretty well, but after a few too many shots you were a little unstable on your feet. Behind you, you heard some girls talk about you, and you could hear them talk about your body and the outfit you were wearing that night. ''If you don't like the way I dress, you should really go somewhere else.'' you said, but that was a mistake. ''Those clothes aren't made for someone with your body. You look like a fat pig in that!'' they said and they laughed hard at you. This is when you had enough, and you swung your fist at the girls, hearing bones crack when you hit a jaw.

One of the girls started fighting back, and all of you ended up on the ground, Natasha and Wanda trying to pull you off but you were so angry you couldn't help yourself and kept hitting and kicking them. When you suddenly felt a knife in your stomach and after that in your chest, you slumped over and everything went black. They pulled a knife on you, and hit you pretty deep with it. The girls were immediately contained and looked over, Wanda and Natasha took care of you and pushing on your wounds to make sure you don't lose any more blood. ''Shit Y/N, why did you do that? Please stay with us, we can't lose you!'' they said and the bartender called 911.

About 10 minutes later you were hauled into the back of an ambulance, but Wanda an Natasha were held back by the police since they were witnesses and couldn't go to the hospital with you. ''Please, let us call someone to be with her! We need to call Bucky!'' Nat yelled at the police officer, and he agreed. She quickly grabbed her phone and called Bucky sobbing, barely able to get the story across of what happened. The police officer took over her phone, and said ''Hi, this is officer Jones with the NYPD. We want to inform you that Y/N Y/L/N has just been taking into an ambulance and to the hospital, after she obtained multiple stab wounds.'' he said and Bucky immediately started running out his door, not even waiting for the officer to finish his sentence after he said you were taking to the hospital.

''Woah Buck, easy now!'' Steve said when he ran past him, but he didn't listen, all he could think about was you and how scared you must be right now. When he was in the garage and on his motorcycle, he raced to the hospital not caring about any speed limits, he would deal with the consequences when all this was over. Right now you needed him, and that is all that matters.

When you arrived in the hospital you were still unconscious and you have lost a lot of blood, but they took good care of you in the ambulance. You were immediately rushed into surgery, and right after you got wheeled away Bucky arrived in a panicked state. ''I'm here to see Y/N Y/L/N, is she here yet?'' he asked frantically and out of breath. ''She just arrived and got wheeled into surgery. If you wait in the waiting room, I'll send a doctor your way once we know more.'' the lady behind the desk said in a calm voice. He called Steve when he calmed down a little, having his breathing under control now. He explained all he knew so far, and Steve made his way to the hospital together with Tony, so Bucky wouldn't have to be alone.

''Any update yet?'' Tony asked when they ran into the waiting room, but all they saw was a distraught Bucky shaking his head no. ''She's been in there for 3 hours now, I'm really worried we're gonna lose her...'' Bucky said and tears finally ran down his face now that Steve was here to comfort him. ''She'll be okay Buck, she's strong and she will get through this,'' he said with a soothing voice whilst Bucky cried on his shoulder. ''Sir?'' a doctor asked Bucky after the nurse pointed out he was waiting. ''You're here for Y/N right?'' the doctor asked. ''Yeah?'' he asked hopeful. ''She's out of surgery and she will make a full recovery. She had a collapsed lung where the knife hit her in the chest, but in her stomach there were no major organs or arteries hit. She will need to be on bedrest for a while, but like I said she will make a full recovery.'' the doctor said with a reassuring smile.

''Can we go see her now?'' Steve asked, since Bucky was too relieved and just started crying again. ''Yeah, the nurse will show you to her room. I wish her the best.'' the doctor said before walking away, and a nurse pointed her into the direction of her room. ''Oh my fucking god doll...'' Bucky said and he made a few quick strides to reach you. He placed a soft kiss on your forehead and grabbed your hand softly. ''I'm so glad you're okay, I love you...'' he said but you weren't awake yet. Steve and Tony heard it perfectly fine however, but didn't mention it until later. Right now he just needed to be left alone with you for a little while.

When you opened your eyes, you were glad to see the blue eyes of Bucky, who was looking at you waking up. ''Hey beautiful, you had me scared for a while there...'' he said softly, and your lips curled into a small smile. ''I'm sorry,'' you croaked out and Bucky couldn't help but let out a little chuckle at the sound of your voice. ''You don't have to say anything, it's okay. The doctor said you would make a full recovery, so that is good. Just... don't ever scare me like that again, okay?'' he said with a bit of sadness in his voice and you nodded a bit. You listened to Bucky talk about work for a little bit before drifting back off to sleep, and the next day he was there to take you home. ''Welcome home, doll!'' he said when you walked back into the compound, while you had your arm hooked into his for some stability.

Every Avenger was in the kitchen to wish you a warm welcome, and you couldn't help but feel appreciated, although it was still a bit much for you now. ''Thanks everyone, but I need to lay down.'' you said and Bucky led you to your room. ''Will you stay with me?'' you asked and he obviously said yes. You got comfortable on your bed and Bucky laid next to you. When he found a comfortable position you grabbed his hand and intertwined your fingers with his, so you could have a bit of comfort in this moment. ''Thank you for everything, Bucky. I know I don't deserve everything you do for me, but I'm still grateful..'' you say in a soft voice. He immediately shot up and looked at you.

''What do you mean you don't deserve it?! You're the greatest person I have ever met in this lifetime, and that is saying a lot seeing that I'm over a hundred years old. Granted I can barely remember 70 of them, but that's not the point here. You deserve everything and more doll, you deserve the sun, moon, stars and everything else. And most of all, I love you, Y/N. I have since the first time you baked me cookies when I wasn't feeling well. I love you so fucking much it actually hurts, and seeing you in that hospital bed only confirmed it to me. I love you, and I'm in love with you, doll. Don't you ever dare to say you don't deserve me, because you do.'' Bucky said, and when he saw a few tears escape from your eyes, he gently wiped them away with his thumb.

''I love you too, Buck. I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember, but I was too afraid to admit it. I can't even love myself, so how was I supposed to let you know I love you?!'' you said, only making the crying worse and full on sobbing despite the pain you're in. ''Doll, I know how hard it is to love yourself again after everything that has happened to you, but you deserve to love yourself. You're more than worth it, and everyone who tells you otherwise can go touch grass. You have an amazing personality, a laugh that lights up the room, and a body to fucking die for. That is why I love you, doll. You're absolutely perfect, and it hurts me that you can't see that. But I also understand the feeling, seeing how I went through it myself with my arm.'' Bucky sighed.

You tried to sit up, but instead, Bucky came to you, and he slowly leaned in for the kiss you were wanting to give him. You slowly closed your eyes when you felt his hand on your cheek, yours went to the back of his neck. When you felt his soft lips on yours, every single worry melted away for a second, all you could think about was you and Bucky at this moment, sharing the most gentle, soft kiss you ever had. All the love, anxiety, scared feelings, and amazement were mixed into this one, soft yet passionate kiss. You didn't want to leave his lips, but you still have to breathe so you reluctantly pulled back. ''Wow..'' is all you could mutter and a smile appeared on both your faces.

''Doll, I will be by your side forever if you want me to. I'll show you every single day how much you mean to me, and how perfect you are. I will do everything I possibly can to make you see yourself the way I see you, no matter how hard it will be every now and again.'' ''I would love that, Bucky.'' you said and you sealed it with another soft kiss, just like the one you just shared. ''But first, I have to tell Nat and Wanda that they were right!'' you giggled, and pulled your phone out to tell them that you and Bucky were finally together, after everything. ''I love you, doll,'' he said and placed a kiss on your temple before you drifted off to sleep not long after that. ''You too...'' you said.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

So any advice to stay focused on basic tasks? I have currently untreated ADHD and as a result, have a lot of trouble focusing and remembering things. Not only is this really a pain for school (I forget any work I have to do or sometimes where my class is) but sometimes I will literally forget to eat or drink water (sometimes forgetting water for up to a day and a half and food for up to 3 days). I am looking to try medication to see if it helps soon but I keep forgetting to start the whole process so Anya device for how to remember stuff and stay focused?

I don't know how helpful I'll be, but I've been told I have ADHD so here's the ways I've managed over the years when I was in school:

I too forget due dates all the time, so I write them down. In a planner, on my phone, in a different planner, on a calendar, highlight them on the syllabus which is then placed in a pocket for the folder dedicated for that subject specifically. I used to carry a teacher's planner in my backpack, and since I took that backpack everywhere I went, I always had it with me. Put reminders on your phone. When you first get the syllabus, write down the important dates and put reminders on your phone immediately.

I used to keep boxes of protein bars and ramen and instant mac cups on a shelf in visible sight. Since I lived in a dorm that was essentially a closet, I could always see the food as a reminder. I would keep my water bottle on my desk, which was the only piece of furniture in the place where I could sit and do anything since all the furniture I had was a shelf, desk, bed, and dresser in one room. If you live in a bigger space, put snacks everywhere you usually hang out. My mom has a trick where she puts reading glasses in every single place of the house where she might be, so I recommend doing that with food and maybe even cups to remind you to drink. Also, you can set alarms on your phone! Like a daily reminder: Eat and hydrate!

As for the actual act of hunkering down and studying and being able to focus, I don't have a foolproof way, but what worked for me was this: I set up environments that were dynamic enough to keep me hyperfocused. What I mean by that is I get antsy sitting still for too long, so I would put on a playlist or a video game and just use the location ambience to help me feel like I was somewhere else. Whenever I would start getting antsy, I would move locations in the game or go to the next ambience video. And then boom! You've moved. Different setting, new environment, let's settle back in and study again. I also had multiple, multiple documents and tricks to motivate myself. When I was in grade school, it was Harry Potter. I would assigned Hogwarts houses to subjects and create a competition, and whichever subject I did the most work in won. I can go into more detail if you want, I'm about to do something similar tonight to get some work around the house and studying done. We can study together tonight if you want! :)

Lovelies who have ADHD, care to pitch in? Anon, make sure to read any reblogs/comments!

[neon-junkie]

awh fuck, everybody else is posting their sappy seasonal finale posts, so i figured i'd follow the herd and make one too. under the cut cause its long, im gushin' my heart out here!!

the bad batch has been my favourite show in... fuck, a very long time. i'll watch a piece of media and go "i enjoyed that!", maybe reblog a few tumblr posts on it, write the odd fic here and there, but the bad batch? i dont know what the hell it woke inside of me, but i am damn thankful for it.

since leaving the red dead fandom, i didn't write very often. i did the odd piece for star wars, but there wasn't anything that truly grasped me. i remember finally watching the clone wars during the covid lockdown, and thinking "awh i love the clones so much! i love how unique they all are, with their tattoos and haircuts. i just wish they would make an emo clone, for a laugh, you know?"

and then i started tcw season 7, and oh my god-

yeah, crosshair is my absolute favourite, although tech almost stole that place during season 2. (but i could never betray my husband like that!!) i love all the batch, even stinky sergeant hunter, and i am so thankful that they've entered my life. im glad i got into the clone wars when i did, cause as i finished the entire show, the bad batch season 1 dropped the very next day haha. i didnt think they'd impact my life as much as they did, but hey-ho, im thankful for it.

i mean, they got me back into writing. i had a nasty experience (which i wont go into detail about) during my time in the red dead fandom, and it totally put me off writing and fandom spaces. im so glad the bad batch has given me a new safe space to enjoy, with motivation and inspiration to write again, even if the things that i write are filthy and disgusting.

not to mention that i've met so many new people, formed friendships, even met them in real life!! star wars celebrations was in london last year, and being bri'ish, i had to go. i wasn't expecting some of my dear fandom friends to cross the ocean to attend, but god damn, i am so thankful that i took a chance and met them, resulting in a wonderful weekend. i'll admit, i hate how shy i was during the whole weekend, but i mean, meeting so many people for the first time all at once was very nerve-racking!!

to think, none of that would have happened if i didnt get into this silly show. so, yeah, thank you to the bad batch. thank you for all my fandom friends. i will continue my obsession even after tomorrow, although i will cry myself to sleep every night if anything happens to crosshair... (am i going to regret writing that line?!)

anyway. heres my sappy post. you know, i have to go to work after the finale airs. im going to be an absolute mess regardless of how the show finishes, i just hope the customers dont mind their bartender crying over star wars as she pours their drinks.

i'll stop rambling now. cheers for reading, and feel free to cry with me whenever you feel like it. neon out x

[karttaylir-darasuum]

FAQs

when are sign ups due by?

you can join whenever you want. if you're interested, fill out the google doc and i'll get you a bingo card!

if this becomes a yearly thing that people are interested in, then maybe we'll start having official sign ups in january or february.

i'll start reblogging new content from everyone on march 1st.

when are fics/art/moodboards due by?

this is a year round event, but since a good amount of holidays fall around the late november/december time period and i want folks to have time for celebrations and family time, i've marked the cut off point as november 10th.

what are these bingo cards gonna look like?

every person who signs up will get a personalized bingo card. for example, this is what i might make for myself:

your username will go in the bottom corner - i used the event username as an example here.

will i get a chance to specify what i want on my card?

there will be a spot in the google sign up doc where you can let me know what you are/aren't interested in, or if there are any specific characters you might want to write for, but bingo topics are totally randomized

do i have to fill out every single square?

definitely not! you can go for a blackout bingo or just do the prompts that really speak to you. 3 in a row? awesome. 4 in a row? perfect. you made jaig eyes out of your finished bingo boxes? i'm not sure how you did that, but i'm impressed.

what's not allowed?

if you cl*neship or ship cl*necest, then this is not the place for you. no rexsoka, master/padawan, rape, incest, underage relationships.

smut is allowed and encouraged, but please no toilet stuff and again no rape or incest.

can i write... [a threesome, polyamory, polybatch, etc] ?

sure! so long as there's no weird cloneshippy stuff going on/the clones are focusing on an oc or reader character, then that's totally fine!

do i have to write specifically about x character i received?

for example, let's say one of your character prompts is jango and you're not really interested in writing your oc/reader into a relationship with him. that's okay! so long as jango has something to do with the story (he's serving as wingman for a clone, he's hunting the main characters, etc), then you can write whatever you'd like.

do i have to write a long fic? do i have to write a certain word length? can i draw something instead?

let your creativity take you wherever it wishes to go! obviously don't just write, like, 5 words or something, but any length is acceptable.

feel like drawing something? making a moodboard? a spotify playlist? go for it, i promise you we're gonna eat it up.

please no ai generated content

i can't remember what glass is called in-universe/i'm having trouble drawing tem's face/i need moodboard images

i have a resource page for you! full of reader inclusivity, clone trooper info, tips on how to unwhitewash the clones, and some basic info on māori culture

how do i find other people's work?

you can search the event tag (#2024cbe) or browse through the reblogs on here, which i will categorize by character and author.

when the event is over, i'll make one big masterlist of all the authors and stories/other content created.

[decimadragonoid]

Here's some more Dragonball Z fanart featuring some of my favorite characters: Guldo, Chiaotzu, and Gohan. However, this art piece isn't exactly a happy one. You probably might get the hint as to why I say this already, but I'll give you some details.

As a lifelong fan of Dragonball, I was shocked to hear that the creator of the series, Akira Toriyama, had passed away roughly over a week ago. It was like reading news articles about how Toriyama-san was about to announce some new projects and spinoff works he was working on; then, suddenly, the next day, I found out that he was gone. According to official reports, Toriyama-san's cause of death was acute subdural hematoma.  Basically, this is a form of severe head injury in which bleeding fills up the brain area and causes brain tissue to compress. I will leave a hyperlink in case anyone wants to know more about it, but anyway, back to Toriyama...

When I was much younger, I would watch Dragonball and Dragonball Z on Cartoon Network's Toonami and Miguzi segments. Sometimes I would find myself hurrying back home or to my grandma's house from school and my afterschool program to catch the latest episode. I would watch Goku's adventures religiously and see what kind of friends, rivals, and enemies he'd make along the way. I was also a big fan of the Dragonball Z video games, including DBZ: Budokai, The Legacy of Goku, Dragonball FighterZ, Super Dragonball Heroes: World Mission, and DBZ: Kakarot. I would play DBZ: Budokai 3 non-stop with my cousin whenever I went to his house to play his PS2 with him. I still wish I had my PS2 so I could relive my DBZ gaming memories, but I still have Dragonball FighterZ, Super Dragonball Heroes, and DBZ: Kakarot. Matter of fact, I want to return to Dragonball FighterZ at some point since the online modes have been overhauled with rollback netcode. I also want to go back to DBZ: Kakarot at some point to finish playing the game and DLCs!

Fast-forward several years later, I remember not too long ago that during the COVID pandemic, I would binge-watch the original Dragonball series and a portion of the Dragonball Z series while exercising on a machine in the comfort of my home. It was my favorite pastime and a great way for me to lose weight while doing so. In fact, I plan on continuing to binge-watch the original Dragonball Z series with the Kikuchi musical score real soon.

I'm still very shocked and saddened by the fact that Toriyama-san is no longer with us, but as a Dragonball fan and appreciator of his works, I will always keep his stories close to my heart. Dragonball is a series that has given me a reason to never give up on life and everything that I do. It's something that helps me get pumped to exercise, become a better person, and never stop improving myself in the long run. So, to give Toriyama-san a proper sendoff, I'm going to refrain from trying to collect the Dragon Balls to bring him back to life, salute him for all his hard work and his efforts to make my childhood the best childhood I've ever had, and keep his memories and works alive!

Thank you so much for the memories, Toriyama-san. May you rest in peace.

========

Akira Toriyama:

April 5th, 1955-March 1st, 2024

========

Please leave your thoughts and critique in the comment section, as it really helps me think about and improve my style! Be sure to reblog this and spread this around to your fellow Dragonball fans too!

Also, feel free to share some of your fondest memories of Akira Toriyama's works, whether it be Dragonball Z or anything else that comes to mind. I'd love to hear your fondest memories!

========

Dragonball Z © Akira Toriyama

Fanart by DecimaDragonoid

[cherry-alive]

This post is primarily aimed at people who followed me here from my main blog, @honeysuckle-venom, where I've talked a fair amount about having DID. If you don't know me from there this may not make sense, and also really isn't necessary to read. If you do know me from there it's also obviously not necessary to read, but here's the post I wanted to write about C and about where we are in recovery and about this blog

I have tried literally over ten times to write a long post explaining more about C and how she woke up from over a decade of dormancy and how she fits into our healing and what this blog is about, with no success. I just can't seem to do it. So. I'll do my best with what I can share without a thirty page backstory I'm not comfortable giving.

The very very very edited cliff notes version is that for Trauma Reasons we had to dissociate and split off a lot of our sweetest, softest, most joyful, and/or most feminine traits, all of which were very present in early childhood but not allowed to be present as we got older bc of trauma things I don't want to talk about. Those traits got split up somewhat, Eloise had some, the Dolls had some, etc, but the one who had the most/had a combination of all of that and more is C. C is also possibly the core/original, she's really really connected to who we were as a young child and who we feel we are at heart in a very special way that is distinct from everyone else, even Luna who we thought had been around the longest. C went mostly dormant when we were 11, and entirely dormant at 16. I did not know about her, not really, and to the extent I did I thought she was genuinely dead. As I've continued to heal in therapy I've noticed that I've had increasing desires to get back in touch with some of those traits that I was forced away from. Accepting Eloise, starting to accept the Dolls, and slowly realizing and acknowledging that I identified as femme were all really important steps for me. Eventually as I explored the concept of my femininity in therapy sessions, my therapist said something that ended up waking C from dormancy. That was about a year ago. With her came a huge rush of feelings and memories I'd completely lost, and a whole new capacity for joy and recovery and healing that I didn't think I'd ever have. We remembered that once upon a time, we didn't understand cruelty, we didn't want to hurt or manipulate anyone. We loved fairies and magic and flowers and art and cooking and the natural world. We loved pink and purple and sparkles and lace. We listened to birdsong, we were kind and friendly, we were gentle and warm. And we could be that way again, and take joy in it again. We realized that she is in some ways the most central part of us, and embodies a lot of who we want to be and who we feel happiest and most whole as. But she's very vulnerable, partially because she's so central and so directly tied to some very key trauma, and there was also a lot of old trauma things at play that make us very nervous to publicly talk about or show her, and/or to act in the ways that she wants and that make all of us happy, like embracing softness and femininity more. That still feels very very dangerous to us, but also every time we do it and get a positive response instead of further traumatization in respose it is deeply healing and it just feels so true to who we want to be in a way that is really healthy. So gradually we've been sharing more and more when it feels safe, and we finally reached a place where sharing the url of this blog with people from main felt like a potentially positive and healing step, where we could embrace the things C likes and that we all like publicly and try to fight some against the shame and fear we feel whenever we want to act softer or reblog pink things or what have you. It's really scary still honestly but it also just feels so validating and good to be able to be myself in this way, when for decades I tried to repress a lot of these traits as much as possible. So. Yeah. That's why we made this blog and why we finally decided to share some more about C/what she likes, because it's honestly stuff I like too and I don't want to be afraid or ashamed to wear something pink and pretty or have heart shaped kitchenware or just embrace the softest gentlest parts of myself anymore.

There's. So much more here/more to C and our backstory with this stuff but I think that's what I can share for now. But also I'd like to be able to talk more about some of this stuff, I just don't have the words yet/don't know how. So if you have any questions about this post or this blog or whatever feel free to ask. I might not answer, but I also might because it might be helpful rather than just trying to write something without a prompt

[synobun]

when you get this, please respond with five things that make you happy! then, send to your last ten people in your notifs (anonymously). you never know who might benefit from spreading positivity

I am. Not good at these things. Largely because, for me, I don't believe "finding the good" actually helps. It usually makes me spiral worse, which defeats the purpose. Anyway, Not-Dandy, I'll try to play along. The things I do for you, anon that I do not know.

I have been talking a lot to @bloodiedpunk lately and that has been really nice. I am aloof and weird (as you know) and tend to take a very long time to slowly circle around people until I get to know them and they get to know me. But she has been great to get to know and it's really made my days a lot more tolerable. And I have found myself looking forward to the next conversation, which I usually don't let myself feel.

I like playing games with two of my friends. I have fallen off this wagon, again. Every time there's a pause, the brain worms attack and I start avoiding them. I need to stop that. They've been asking me to play and I keep saying no. But! When I do play with them, it's nice. It's nice to spend time with them and to play games. I should stop saying no.

I enjoy looking at pictures of nature that I can remember experiencing myself. I can never be in nature anymore and I miss it, but I like being able to... recognize what was, if that makes sense. And maybe someday I can be in it again, and maybe even see new nature that I will reblog photos of in 10 years on Tumblr dot com. Crazy thought!

Whenever it's not because I'm bingeing, I really enjoy eating good food. Especially if my overall health is doing a little better and I can eat something I usually shouldn't. Oh! KP showed me naan pizzas a few weeks ago and I made them myself and they were wonderful.

I saw the second season of Star Trek: Prodigy and it was really great. One of the best NuTrek works yet. It was a pleasant surprise.

[distortionenby]

About and pinneds

Hi! I'm Michi or Gino. I am a queer 20-something. I go by it/he pronouns.

Please, don't tag me on tag-games.

I am chronically ill and cannot afford my full treatment. This is my ko-fi where I am taking commissions/donations if you want to help me buy my monthly medication that I need to stay alive. (Postponed. GO DONATE TO GAZA FUNDRAISERS. I'd rather get by on just my main medication than let more innocent people be murdered en mass by genocidal colonizers)

Notes on this blog's content:

I am an adult. Anyone under 18 here is not my responsibility, I'm not your parent. If you're uncomfortable, you're always free to leave or to block me, curate your own space.

This is my personal blog, it will feature NSFW content, either reblogged or posted (mostly art/fic if it's a post of my own) every now and then. Be warned and don't be weird.

Kids/teens/anyone under 18, don't interact with any of the nsfw stuff I post/reblog

(Listen, I know this is tumblr but if you see me blogging, and the post has anything sexual/nsfw/mature, don't touch it. This is a personal boundary. If I happen to know you're a minor and you cross it, I'll send a message asking you to please delete it. If you don't, I'm blocking you. I'd rather save myself the mess. And no, I don't care how mature you think you are.) I am not your parent and you're not in school or at a kid's event. I am not responsible for any kids here so I probably won't check if you're a minor or not whenever you interact with my posts because that's not my job and I have a life, but I also don't want any awkward situations, so please, respect the boundary. I do care about child-safety, but I also cannot be obssessively checking every single time and kid-ifying my personal space for others who can perfectly see the warnings and just not look in here.

Given the new act of people feeding fanfiction to AI systems such as Chat-GPT, I have privated my Ao3 account. I am deeply upset by this but I genuinely don't want to risk my hobby to be chewed up and spat out for corporate. Any reproduction of my work is therefore strictly prohibited, especially in regards to AI generators. This also goes to usage of my art in general, if you want to use my art in any form for personal use, do ask me first.

Blog specific tags:

disenbypost for all posts made by me

disenbyask for answered asks

disenbythought for general musings

disenbyfandom for anything fandom related

disenbyart for art posts

disenbywrite for fanfiction links (Ao3)

Will tag any triggers that people ask me for (you can ask on anon and let me know how I should tag it).

Reblogs of my posts are much appreciated! Likes are nice but reblogs are what actually helps my art reach more people.

My other blogs:

@spiralingnoodle (my reblog blog for mostly TMA art but also monster-adjacent fandoms/characters and monster stuff in general. Will include horror media, gore, and nsfw.

@simpin4rockppl (my band/rock blog. Mostly Led Zeppelin, David Bowie and MCR but other artists too).

@/distortionenby on Ao3, tiktok.

Full-time interests:

Dinosaurs

Sea animals

Queer stuff

Language and linguistics

Witchcraft

Cryptids and monsters (lore and design)

Autistic and queer characters (canon or coded)

Musicals

Current fandoms:

The Magnus Archives / Protocol

Led Zeppelin

Welcome to Night Vale

LotR

(will list as they come to mind. For now those names are the ones I can remember)

[set-phasers-to-whump]

Day 7: Post a link to your favorite whump fic of all time (or reblog it and/or make a list of them!)

ok i decided to limit myself to just 10 of my all time favorite whump fics. these are ones that i return to all the time, that i reread whenever i'm having a bad day, you know the vibe. all of them are very dear to me and i hope someone else will enjoy them too!!! i'll put them under a readmore since this got a bit long :)

Caged by Cargo - 911. Cargo is one of my absolute favorite writers and i've been in love with this fic for a longass time. the emotions and caretaking are absolutely top tier, and there's a lovely blend of emotional and physical whump. summary: "As Eddie stands in his kitchen after returning home from tonight's fight, he finally cracks. He starts falling apart and he knows there's only one person in the entire world he trusts to pick up the pieces. It's why he's dialling Buck's number before he even knows he has his phone in his hands."

Bloodshot Soul by OrionLady - bourne series. this one straight up has made me cry i can't even lie. it's a beautiful and very genuine exploration of the characters and the emotional whump is wonderfully painful. summary: "He cannot fathom why a crusty old skipper would care so much about a strange John Doe he fished out of the water, why he would smile and touch his shoulder and feed him pie. Then again, there are many things he doesn’t understand yet. The closer he and Giancarlo get, the less he wants to remember. An exploration into Jason and Giancarlo’s friendship during his two weeks aboard the fishing trawler."

In The Shadows of The Night by MissCrazyWriter321 - grimm. this fic is thee one that i turn to whenever i'm feeling sad. i love nick and rosalee's dynamic and this fic lets nick break down while keeping both of them perfectly in character. i'm absolutely obsessed with it. summary: "A board creeks beneath her foot, and he startles, but calms quickly when he sees her. “Sorry,” she murmurs. “I hope I didn’t wake you.” Obviously she didn’t, but she needs to be careful how she handles this. If she pushes too hard, he’ll just end up shutting down."

Eggs Two Ways by leslielol - law and order svu. something about the writing style in this one absolutely captivates me. like, there was a period of time where i straight up read this fic once a week and i'm not kidding. they're both super in character and it's a delightful read! summary: "It’s not often Barba has a reason to exercise a set of skills separate from those as a prosecutor. While sat in a holding cell nursing a broken nose, Carisi learns he’s as sharp as ever. (A missing-scene fic from 16x15 “Undercover Mother.”)"

Breaking all the things I'd wish to keep and Can't erase, can't rewind by Elisexyz - the man from uncle. ok yeah this is technically two. sue me. ely is like, my favorite fic author ever and i love all of her tmfu stuff, but these two hold a special place in my heart and make me go absolutely crazy every time (they go together btw). if you're into tmfu and for some reason haven't read her fics then uhh. get on that right now bc she's amazing. summary: "Napoleon maintains that attempted murder cannot be classified as an "accident"."// "“I didn’t think it was him.”"

the moon points to the sun by haloud - roswell new mexico. this fic has been making me insane for literal years. it's emotional whump and has a somewhat different vibe to the other fics on this list, but i absolutely adore it. this writer understands the characters so well and their style is absolutely incredible. top tier fic right here. summary: "They don't do apologies, Max and Michael. If they started, they'd never stop."

No Rules, No Winners by April_Valentine - person of interest. this is one of those times where you watch something and you're like 'man i wish they'd addressed this pain in the show' and then you find the absolute perfect fic that does address it. it's so tender and lovely and exactly what the episode was missing. summary: "Set just before the tag of "Baby Blue." After leaving Moretti's safe house, Reese goes back to the library."

The Car Accident by Tipper - sneaky pete. another one i've been obsessed with for literal years. it's on the longer side but it's so good, wonderful family dynamics and a really excellent storyline. summary: "After Julia found out who he was, all Marius wanted was one more Sunday night dinner with the family. It was a mistake. The trusting way they looked at him, the uncertain way she looked at him.... He left early, afraid to sink any deeper. The black truck came out of nowhere as he drove away..."

Too Hot (Hot Damn) by WasteTimeandType - the man from uncle. i loveee some heat exhaustion fics and this one is so good! i reread it recently when i was sick and miserable and seeing illya much more sick and miserable than i was really made me feel better lol. summary: "'Out of all the UNCLE missions, this was by far the worst. He’d been shot, stabbed, tortured with water and forced to run miles in a forest in the middle of Canada. All of that was preferable to this. The damn heat.' Illya suffers from heat exhaustion and Gaby and Napoleon take care of him. Kink Meme fill."

A Little Tender Care by ArgylePirateWD - person of interest. this one's a sickfic, i read it before i actually started watching the show and absolutely adored it, and i still adore it now. true to the title, it's super tender and soft and it's a really sweet read. summary: "The Man in the Suit doesn't usually take sick days. Usually."

and that's 10!! this is far from a complete list of all the fics i adore, but these are the first 10 (or 11) that i knew i needed to rec. if anyone wants more recs, lmk, i've got tons :)

[eirenare]

Hi hi~! Life update here

Hi there!

Yes, I'm still alive lol, it's just that 85% of my social media time I currently spend it on Twitter (I refuse to call it how Elmo Muskrat wants the site to be called lol), and 15% I spend it on Bluesky (which, by the way, if you wanna find me there, I'm Eirenare too there lol).

I'm still very veeeeeery much in my Reylo brainrot haha, so yeah, you might see me posting or reblogging every now and then some of it, although I've been as well into some other stuff lately (Elden Ring for example), so you might see me posting about that too, so just a heads up there about it (and don't worry, everything I post here, regardless of what it is, as usual it'll have its tags and spoiler warnings, a "read more" if need be, etc).

My energy's been specially low for the past months though to be honest, so I can't guarantee I'll be very active around here (except for private messages, I'll be checking these every little time), just that every now and then I'll come here and post or reblog some stuff, probably Reylo and other things Star Wars or series/movies, life updates too, maybe will share in a bit of my Elden Ring brainrot and theories as its DLC approaches and I get more and more excited.

Anyways, here's some random life update stuff and anecdotes that I wanted to say before I log off for the night here:

I fell into the Kalluzeb (Kallus x Zeb, from Star Wars Rebels) rabbithole some time ago and it was, and is, neat, I love them so much

earlier today I had churros and hot chocolate as desert at lunch time and I was in cloud nine all the while I chomped on them

apparently my brain won't cease to come up with new Reylo AUs which is amazing and so much fun but also if I ever showed you guys screenshots of my Google Docs you might just faint because there are just so many things there between WIPs I'm currently working on that are already on Ao3, future things to go on Ao3, vague WIPs, AU ideas... and my energy is running so low and I'm working on various Ao3 WIPs so yeah lol I don't think I'll ever write even half of the fics I noted down

I watched Barbie at the cinema and it became one of my new comfort movies and one of my fave movies of all time

somehow I'm not as bad as I thought I'd be at Elden Ring even though I'm clumsy, a scaredycat and my tunnel vision goes lvl 100 when I'm playing videogames which usually means "good luck remembering to look at your stamina bar and using key items", so seeing myself not get too stuck on bosses was unexpected and neat (in fact, funnily enough: somehow this game even makes my anxiety lower at times and it barely increases it at all even when I'm fighting bosses, go figure lol)

I had the chance to buy Final Fantasy XVI at a much cheaper price than release price but because at that site I didn't see any warning that it was temporary, by the time I went to buy it, it had risen price again so now I'm awaiting once again for both better prices and for my wallet to recover

my brother bought a PS5 back in spring and a copy of Star Wars Jedi Survivor and, since we live in the same house, I did play that game and it was amazing asdfgffdgfjfb there were only a very few things I didn't like that much but holy shit was it good, some stuff even felt tailor-made for me in ways I wasn't expecting but that I enjoyed very much (and also the tears, the rivers of tears I shed on certain scenes lol) and now I'm super hyped for the 3rd whenever it is that it'll happen

the official Star Wars accounts at Twitter have been posting quite a bit about Reylo and the sequels and Ben for the past days (and I gotta say, the account from Spain even added some extra Reylo flavor in some tweets that other accounts didn't which is curious) and I'm clowning kinda hard, hoping that DLF finally realized most of the people actually like a lot Reylo (or don't mind it) and the ST, and hoping (always hoping, always dreading to hope too much, but hoping anyways) that we'll get Rey and Ben reunited in her movie

Anyways x2, enough anecdotes and thoughts for the night, see you around lovely people~! <3 Hopefully soon lol, but if not... *looks at 2024 fast approaching* if not, then I'll 100% be around to gossip and scream for when the Rey movie begins production and talks begin and all that stuff, lol.

Good night~! :D I hope you have a great day and/or a good sleep~! <3

EDIT: looooool apparently this was my 100th post in here and I got a free badge for my profile so yay, nice~ x) XDD

[exoflash]

I'm not going to reblog it right now as I don't want to accidentally trigger anyone, but a friend of mine reblogged a post about how Evangelical Christianity (i am specifying evangelicals- there's a lot of denominations and i'm sure plenty are chill. But this post is about Evangelicals specifically.) is like a death cult + we need more sympathy for survivors and... yeah. I'll put this under a readmore to not clog anyone's feed.

One thing I feel we don't talk about enough is growing UP like that.

I grew up believing the apocalypse would happen before I hit 18. I didn't think I'd be able to live a full life like my parents and grandparents before me. I would bring this up and people would tell me this was a good thing- that I wouldn't have to live the remainder of my life in such a "broken" world. Seeing the beauty in everything was practically trained out of me by the church.

I remember first getting into Doctor Who when I was about 12. My Grandpa (who is an agnostic, I feel is worth noting,) really loves sci-fi. He asked if I wanted to watch a new show with him, and I agreed. And as you can tell, I love it to this day.

Using media as escapism really became prevalent in my early teens. I remember being 14 and when friends or family would start talking about how "all Christians are gonna get microchipped or executed for not worshipping the antichrist! The world will be like 1984! It'll end in nuclear war!" I would imagine the Doctor taking me into the future- showing me that i was going to be okay, everything was going to be okay. The sun still shines and the world still spins. No demon vs angel warfare here.

I remember being 16-17 and not caring about graduation, not even caring if something awful happened to me, because the world was ending, right? Better a car crash than decapitated for being a "Christian". I say that in parentheses for a reason, because people who use this horrible image to manipulate others are NOT like Christ.

I remember when covid hit. I had largely detangled myself from all that. I thought it was over. The pandemic brought so much trauma crashing back down upon me. The emotions of "what if they were right? What if you really WERE led astray...? What if the devil did this to you?"

The worst of the pandemic finally passed. Everything was safe.

To this day, I still get those emotions again whenever i see some news article or hear about some kind of war. Frankly, i don't know if they'll ever go away. But what i've learned- it doesn't matter, what happens to me. I don't say that in a pessimistic sense like i once did. I've learned that regardless of anything that happens- i can live for myself and my loved ones. I can make even the slightest difference. If i can make just one person smile- in my ENTIRE life- it would be incredibly worth it.

Maybe I'll write a poem about all this. I dunno. This is all just late night ramblings and spilled ink. Have a good night.

[lenteur]

HIIIII OMG OMG OMG YOUR REBLOG WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER ❤️ i saw it this morning when i woke up to feed the cats and it made me smile SO WIDE <3 CAT PHOTO IS AT THE BOTTOM 🖤

please whenever you feel the need, just sleep <3 even if it's the middle of the day. try not to stay awake just to sleep at night 💔 i really hope you feel better ❤️

i honestly think idols can pull off the colour pink so well, wish i could dye mine pink but i only suit darker colours of....colours 😂

ikr <3 though i started watching 911 again and i was up til 4am watching it 👀 i know one of the main actresses of glee was revealed to be a bully behind scenes which idk didn't surprise me tbh. i used to love her as an actress but her interviews felt so off to me </3 i really hate bullies 😡😡😡

IM SO SO HAPPY YOU LOVED IT <3 i was actually really struggling with your gift because i was seeing other peoples and i felt like mine wasn't great but then i remembered you saying how the gift was us getting to know each other and that you'd be happy with anything 🖤 i'm really happy you like it <3

BESTIES 4 LYF ❤️ also!!!! tea and biscuits. my favourite snack <3 i'm gonna hopefully start watching a kdrama on friday, bc from then to tuesday, i'm off work so i'll have some time to relax 🥰

i was waiting for you to reply before i posted the gift, i didn't want to post it and then i had to let you reply to an anon. 🖤 you've been so so so kind to me and i just love you already ❤️ i'm so EXCITED to talk more!! 💎

Toffee on the left! Luna on the right ❤️

hey hey hey 💖 of course! it was a great surprise to finally know who you are 💗 now that i've looked at your blog, i can see all the little clues you left during our conversations. especially the wednesday and criminal minds stuff haha

tysm for thinking of me 💕 i am trying my best at taking care of myself but thankfully my mom is with me and she's such a huge help 💝

ah staying up until 4am to watch something reminds me of my teenage years 👀 even if i wanted to i wouldn't be able to do so now </3 which is a good thing hehe oh really? 😡 i mean i'm not surprised either but i'm getting tired of all these celebrities thinking they're better than others. it happens everywhere but, when in a group (ie a show, a group of singers, etc.), there always seems to be one who wants the spotlight to themselves. it's getting repetitive 💔 i already have a hard time getting into a show, but seeing stuff like that, it's no wonder i don't want to watch new shows anymore. i don't have time for drama. i just want to enjoy what i watch in peace, but this makes it hard sigh

i know i wrote a novel in the tags but it's really really pretty 💟 the fact that you took time out of your day to make something for me means a lot. you'll never have to worry about something like that with me 💖 and let me reiterate: our friendship is the true gift 💘

oh if you start the kdrama (or is it a jdrama? cdrama? tdrama?) please let me know which one it is 💓 i'm hoping i can start watching summer strike either tomorrow or this weekend because the premise (and all the gifs i've seen) is really interesting and i think i'll like it 💞

i had a feeling you were waiting for me to answer. i also wanted to answer the last anon message before you revealed yourself or else it would've stayed in my inbox forever hehe💕

OK. okok! i was waiting to answer the rest of your ask before talking more in depth about my new cats toffee and luna (yes, by revealing your cats to me, you are now contractually obligated to share custody of your pets i'm not kidding! jk) UM EXCUSE ME? YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD ME YOU HAD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CATS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!! like they're so pretty they could be on the cover of vogue, elle, harper's bazaar, any other magazines (my fashion knowledge is limited lmao) 😻 if your friendship wasn't enough (which it is), seeing toffee and luna made this event 124877523368751222222565457426545214852485x better (won't bother deciphering this number but just know it's a lot!) wowowowooooooooooooooooooooooooooowowowowowowowowow! user lenteur is currently disfunctioning </3 cause? (Y)OUR CATS 😻😻😻

[calligraphist-artemisia]

My Writing (part 1)

I reblogged this 'get to know your fic writer' post a while ago and had every intention of sitting down and answering a few on my own at the time, but of course I got distracted. Will I get through all 77 questions? Who knows! But I'll have fun regardless of how many I answer.

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Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

Honestly, it depends on my mood and how much free time I have. From about October-December I favor one-shots, because that's all I have time for and it's nice to punch out a few of those to celebrate the holidays. But in general I do prefer to write multi-chaptered fics.

✧

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

Once upon a time, I did not. Then I tried something new by planning out every chapter of a fic, but found it so limiting when I sat down to write that I gave up. It's only the past few years that I've really sat down and found a system that works for me: I have a few big events that I want to keep track of and I keep a casual note of where they fall in the fic. From there, I plan no more than 3 chapters ahead, just jotting down basic summaries or little bullet lists of events to cover in each chapter. That way, when I change my mind/switch something up, it's not a huge deal where I need to edit every one of my notes.

Basically, I need something to keep me on track, but it needs to be flexible enough that it's easy to move things around.

✧

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

Every fic begins with me daydreaming about it. If it's an idea I really like or a sentence that I don't want to forget, I'll jot it down. I have multiple word documents just for fanfic ideas (all separated by fandom) and some of them will get written and some will not.

Whenever I know that I'm going to go sit somewhere to write, I'll spend the hours leading up to that point thinking about what i want to write next. I don't always remember everything, but it gives me a good starting point once I sit down, because I at least have a vague idea of where I want things to go.

I don't know if this next bit would necessarily be considered part of the creative process, but whenever I want to do a good bit of writing, I'll go find a quiet place to sit out in the world (Starbucks, usually), get myself a cup of hot coffee to sip on, put in my earbuds, and then use regular pencil and paper to write. (This leads into my editing process, which is: I edit later as I type it all up.)