#i'll make an individual shots one later

[harmonysanreads]

Hello !!! I hope you’re doing fine and enjoyed last patch quest! I really really love your writing, and especially like the way you write Ratio,,,,, that yandere Drabble you posted a while ago with Ratio and Aventurine sharing reader has been haunting me in the best ways <33

Since your request are open, could I ask for a one-shot of yandere Ratio and Aventurine? If it’s fine I’ll ask for reader to be shy/introverted but otherwise I’ll leave it up to your inspiration! Maybe about life at home, or visit in Penacony? Maybe they’re tormenting Reader through strip-poker? Maybe Ratio was inspired by the shrinking device and now they’re having fun with their pocket-sized darling? Anything you fancy I’m not difficult, I only ask you have fun!! <3

(I assumed your no-sequel rule only applied to one-shot, I deeply apologise if I was wrong fjekjdksjd)

Inure

yandere!aventurine x reader x yandere!dr ratio

cw(s) : yandere, forced proximity, slight dehumanization (but everything is sauteed in humor so bon appetit ✨)

wc : 1k

hi nonnie!! thank you so much for your sweet words<3 tbh every idea you presented was very enticing and i'll definitely keep them in consideration for later. for now though, i really wanted to write something soft for these two, i hope you don't mind :>

Inconveniences come in many forms.

Some more candid than most, while others lurk in the shadows of carelessness like hyenas ; ready to pounce on the unsuspecting prey at the opportune time. Trouble and tribulation eclipse the course of human life, masquerading as two sides of the same coin. What they are, in truth, a pair of mischievous twins who are always watching, evaluating and trapping their victims in elation-filled jumpscares. It is also true that woes differ based on the individual, some even see fit to opine that the source of misery is the individual themselves.

Your vexations however, are dictated by two idiosyncratic persons with interests as farther apart as two solar systems. Which isn't a lot if one considers the magnificence of the universe, but distanced enough to be the tillable land of your miseries. Said inconveniences usually arrive dressed as revoked privileges, confiscation of entertainment items and... movie nights.

A night where you're supposed to be enjoying a film as a group shouldn't have been such an adversity if the aforementioned individuals respected the bare minimum of being normal. On usual occasions, who you end up accompanying is maintained through a strict schedule as opposed to the much friskier notion of rolling-dices that was favored by a certain blonde (in which he always emerged victorious and was thus declared irrationally imbalanced by Veritas) — but, an unforseen lapse of management and chaos was bred.

In matters that concern you, it seemed as though even the most seamless co-operations failed to reach a simple consensus. So when the erudite Dr Ratio expressed eagerness to spend a ‘relaxing afternoon’ with your person, it clashed quite clamorously with Aventurine's desire to have you participate in one of his many adrenaline-high games. And because of the decrease in release of dopamine that came from being a frequent observer of their arguments, you ended up suggesting this dreadful activity ; Ratio's silent perusal by your left and Aventurine's equally quiet phone browsing by your right are all that remains of the earlier fiasco.

You consider it a shame, because unbeknownst to them, you actually were plotting ways to watch this particular film. But, when at approximately fifteen minutes into the story you realized you were the only one among you three that was paying it any attention at all — you felt, quite blatantly, deflated. Surprisingly though, that was not the main source of your current misery at all, no, no ; what was causing you distress was the deplorable portion of space that they alloted to you from the couch.

At least Ratio has the habit of crossing his legs subconsciously, making your life just a miniscule easier. Unlike Aventurine whose default setting is to be attached to any patch of your skin anytime you're within his radius and when he brings that to the cauldron of being compressed between him and Ratio — it perfectly justifies why you're dancing between the provocative lines of mild annoyance and a meltdown. You'd believe they forgot about your existence altogether if not for Ratio's definitely-not-intentional shifting and the without context headpats from Aventurine.

Their treatment, although (probably) not deliberate, suggest you to be the equivalent of the pampered housecat and if one was to generously point out the expression on your face at present, that allegation would be right.

You stifle a sigh that transitions into a yawn with your only friend in this dreadful world, your plush pillow. The dialogues exchanged by the actors in the movie gradually become unintelligible as your vision morphs into a kaleidoscope of black dots and patterns. You draw your knees closer until they become parallel to your chin, musing a scenario where you lean so into the couch that it swallows your form and hurls you into a wonderland free of covetous hands or hearts. Where you could roam without eyes attached to every move you make and most importantly, where the notion of inconveniences would cease to exist.

You've seen it happen in shows a younger you indulged in and a passing thought makes you smile sardonically ; the world is so bizarre that you've effortlessly found yourself in a situation as complex as your current one but, not bizarre enough to make fantasies such as these a reality. The noises from the screen, Ratio's nonchalant page turning and the fragrance of Aventurine's cologne make your lucidity sway, until darkness cradles you close.

That night, you found yourself having a rather tender dream. In your dream, the blonde promptly busied himself in positioning you more comfortably on his lap upon feeling your slumbering head hit his shoulder. You felt succinctly amused upon the ‘place the pillow under their head, moron!’ that left a certain virtuoso's lips. Said virtuoso, shifted the rest of your body to be rested on his lap with a gentleness that baffled even Aventurine. Some say that dreams are manifestations of the desires that stay stagnant within the crevices of our minds. If that theory holds even a fraction of credence, then the percipience of what your subconscious desires, leaves you feeling as solemn as sated.

By the hour you gain awareness of the waking world again, there is but silence surrounding the living room. Your first blink is followed by a series of more and your sense of feeling works faster before your sense of sight, it sticks quite insistently just above your knees and atop your head. You roll a bit and realize they are in fact the hands of Ratio and Aventurine respectively, holding you away from kissing the floor and cracking your nose. As your vision gains more clarity, you notice the purple-head, supported by the palm of his left hand and the arm of the couch. You rise up and notice Aventurine mirroring Ratio's position, you conclude them both to be asleep judging by their collective inertia despite your movements.

Your eyes shift downwards towards the pillow on which you rested moments before and seeing it positioned exactly atop Aventurine's lap, confirm your suspicions that the scene you witnessed in your sleep had, in fact, happened in reality. Perhaps the universe heard your hopeless plea and bargained it with this speck of generosity.

They really didn't move an inch — but the bubbling warmth was soon pushed down by — as if I was a cat they didn't want to disturb!

being treated like a cat by two of the most cat-like characters in hsr lol

[chaos-in-deepspace]

L&DS Xavier: Entertain Me | 18+

Hahahaha so I was posting in a server all the NSFW fics I had for individual characters and I just...babes i only got like two for Xavie Baby (not to mention the drabble that I'll be releasing maybe later today). So anyway, here's our favorite bunny.

♡(ᓀ‸ᓂ)♡ Pairings: Xavier x Reader ♡(ᓀ‸ᓂ)♡ Warnings: Cum Shots, Teasing, Fingering, AFAB Anatomy, Slight Bratting, Top Xavier, Grinding ♡(ᓀ‸ᓂ)♡ Synopsis: It was one of your beautiful days off as you cuddled with Xavier, however sadly you were bored and needed something to entertain you...thankfully you had a rather attractive man right underneath you already. ♡(ᓀ‸ᓂ)♡ Word Count: 2.3k

Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+.

Blog Information | Masterlist

Xavier

Entertain Me

Entertain Me

You look over at Xavier, letting out a small yawn as you shake your head. It was an overly lazy day at the house, both you and Xavier had the day off and you had nothing to do. Which normally wouldn’t be so bad but you were currently dying from boredom despite your current position.

You were lying on top of your beloved boyfriend, Xavier, relaxing into his touch as you scrolled through your phone. He had a book out and if you turned to lay on your back rather than your side, you could’ve joined him in reading it. Still, that wasn't what you wanted as you shifted, laying on him so you were now chest to chest with him. Your breath fanning over his neck as you wondered what you could do to entertain yourself…that was until an idea sprung into your mind.

Your crotch was positioned directly on top of his in your new position, making you smirk. Xavier had barely moved since you shifted, only adjusting slightly to make it more comfortable. You let out a content yawn and wiggled your hips, happy that you could somehow still feel the outline of his cock through his sweatpants and underwear. He wasn’t hard, but he did have a big dick and you were always more than happy to get a feel of it.

The motion had Xavier looking down at you curiously, not knowing if you were doing this on purpose or if it was an accident, “Are you comfortable?” his soft voice came out and you let out a hum, tilting your head.

“Ya…but,” you finally murmured, taking his cheek in one of your hands and scooching a bit closer. Your lips connected with his in a soft kiss, one that you couldn’t help but smile into. How Xavier’s lips were always so soft was a question of the century, but you would never be upset about it.

Xavier reacted immediately to your kiss, placing the book he was reading onto the side table behind him, his hand going to your waist to hold you in place. He melted into it, your lips working in tandem and he sighed when you parted, pressing his forehead against your own, “Did you need attention then?” he asked and you chuckled in response.

Your hand begins trailing down his chest, wishing you could feel more of him. As it was, his hoodie was thick and got in the way. It didn’t stop you though, moving your hands to hook underneath the offending fabrics so your cool hand was pressed directly against his abs. You watched Xavier’s breath hitch as he looked at you, finally realizing exactly what you were after, “You know, if you keep that up then I’ll have to take action,” it was a warning.

You let out a small whine, trying your best to give him puppy dog eyes, “Xavie, I’m bored,” you said, a small pout on your lips as you tried convincing him to provide you with what you wanted. Your hand trailed up and over his pecs, brushing against his nipple as he leaned forward into your touch.

Xavier shook his head, the gentle smile on his face turning a little more cocky as he grabbed you by the back of your head, dragging you in for another kiss. This time instead of the gentle brushing of mouths, his tongue darted out and played with your bottom lip, coaxing you to open and let him in. You groaned, savoring the taste of his lips on your own as you closed your eyes, melting into him more.

When he finally parted, panting against your mouth, he raised an eyebrow, “If you’re bored, perhaps you should find something to entertain you,” he suggested, making you frown.

“I have found something to entertain me,” your hand was gently grazing his chest, “You,” your mouth went to press kisses along the expanse of his neck now, nipping on occasion as you could hear a small groan coming from the back of his throat. You were intent on leaving a mark on him, working on a pretty purple piece right under his jawline. Once you were content with your mark, your lips unlatched with a satisfying ‘pop’ and you leaned back to admire your handiwork.

You could see Xavier’s eyes were closed as his breaths came out a little more ragged than normal. He opened his eyes to look at you, frowning a bit that you had stopped. Then you felt it; his cock twitching underneath you and you couldn’t help but grind down on the hard length.

Xavier lets out a groan as you speak, “So, are you going to entertain me?” you said, your voice a little too confident. It was something Xavier picked up on, his eyes narrowing as you attempted to take complete control of the situation.

“Are you trying to rile me up?” he said, his voice didn’t give way to any irritation behind it. It was a simple question, one that could’ve reminded you of someone asking what the weather outside was supposed to be.

You couldn’t help but stick out your tongue, letting defiance overrun you, “Isn’t that obvious?” you responded with a smirk. Xavier huffed, looking you up and down before he finally sat up, making sure to hold you in place so you didn’t fall off his lap.

You gasped at the sudden change, but what came next was what had turned into a moan. Xavier didn’t waste a single second, moving your flimsy shorts and underwear to the side as he pressed against your already slick entrance.

You could hear how wet you were, and if you had an inkling of shame you might’ve been embarrassed, “How long have you been like this?” again with a calm and collected voice.

“For a while now…you smell good and you’re warm, not to mention I’ve been able to feel your dick underneath me this entire time we were cuddling,” you explained; a gentle sigh being coaxed from you as his finger pressed against your clit with a featherlight feel.

“And you’re just now speaking up?” it was almost like Xavier was scolding you, but before you could say anything you let out another breathy moan, feeling one of his fingers going inside your sopping core. Your hops moved on their own, trying to get him deeper inside of you. You were soaking, and it didn’t go unnoticed by Xavier as he easily slid a second finger in.

You began riding his fingers, loving how he curled them just right to hit your sweet spot, “Xavier…” you whined, out, wanting to be filled with something bigger than just his fingers. You watched him tilt his head, those cerulean eyes looking at you with a teasing glint in them.

“Something you need?” he asked, holding your hips in place with his free hand so you couldn’t grind on him anymore. Another small keen came from your throat as he began plunging his fingers in quickly, his thumb now pressing against your clit. Your eyes widened in surprise, then your head tilted back as you let out a loud, gasping moan.

“W-wanna-fuck Xav, need your dick…please,” you said between small gasps, loving how fast this man was able to drag you towards completion. Still, you’d rather be gushing on his cock right now, not on his fingers. Xavier didn’t seem to let up, instead, he pressed a third finger and you squeezed your eyes shut, your hands finding his shoulders.

“I don’t know if you deserve that,” he began, curling his fingers just right, “You were being very demanding earlier,” a small sigh from his as he listened to the symphony of the wet squelching noises as he finger fucked you on his lap.

“Mn, X-Xav, please,” you whimpered out, wanting nothing more than to feel his cock buried in you to the hilt.

“I might consider it if you cum like this,” he teased, and gods if that wasn’t a turn-on. YOu were already so close, the coiling in your stomach ready to snap. You then felt his lips brushing against your ear as he leaned in, “I know you can do it, starlight, cum on my fingers,” that was all it took to drive you over the edge.

Your cunt clenched around his fingers as pathetic little whimpers escaped your throat. Your body tingled as he finally allowed you to move your hips, bucking them into his hands. Xavier seemed to soak up all your noises, his fingers never letting up as he let you ride through the bliss. When your hips finally stopped you stared at him, a small pout.

“That was unfair,” you murmured as he took his fingers out of you. Your pussy contracted as though protesting the loss. You then felt his fingers, still wet with your release, pressing against your lips. You pressed his fingers in your mouth, sucking your release from them.

“I let you cum, didn’t I?” he said with a head tilt, frowning at you as he pressed his fingers on your tongue, “Are you going to insist on acting like a spoiled brat even when you got your release,” your eyes widened at his words. You? Being a brat? Unheard of.

“I…I am not,” you finally got out after taking his fingers out of your mouth; you were scandalized by his accusation. He smirked, pressing your hips down until you could feel his throbbing length pressing against your over-sensitive mound. You let out a little moan, looking at him, “H-hey…” you mumbled.

“I think you are…if you really want to feel my dick then I’d get moving,” he said, and you perked up. Was he finally going to let you have what you wanted? Your hand trailed to his waistband before he caught your wrist in his hand, holding it in place.

“I never said you could feel it directly,” he said, his voice steady but his face was saying something else. You swallowed thickly, realizing that he wasn't playing around with you. You opened your mouth to protest but instead whimpered as he bucked his hips against you. Damn it shouldn’t have felt that good right after coming, and you could feel your slick forcing your underwear and shorts to stick to you in an almost uncomfortable fashion.

You were pouting and shot him a small glare, “Fine…” you muttered, rolling your hips. You closed your eyes right away, savoring the feeling. Even between all these layers, he felt heavenly. Your cunt throbbed at the mental image of him being buried to the hilt inside of you. Your hips now move on their own as you press kisses along the column of his neck.

Xavier hummed, both hands now back on your hips as he helped your movements, allowing you to hump his cock. After a few moments though you let out a whine, “Xavier, it’s not enough,” you said, panting slightly as you looked at him. Maybe he would have pity?

“Is it not?” he asked, “You were the one who was begging to feel it, and now that you get to grind on my dick it’s suddenly not enough?” God he was using your own words against you.

“X-Xav mhn!” you were cut off as he ground his hips up into you roughly. The sensation felt good especially as he managed to get the clothed head of his cock brushing against your clit now. He did this motion a few more times before speaking, “You can cum like this, can’t you?”

His cock was twitching in his pants and you nodded, biting your lip, “Y-ya, I c-ah-can,” you got out, your own hips now pressing down as you chased your own release. It was almost embarrassing with how fast you were getting already, the tension building. Xavier didn’t let up either, chasing his own release using your clothed pussy.

Your hips worked together, savoring every grind on one another as it sent jolts of electric pleasure through your body, “F-fuc-k, I’m clo-hng-close Xav,” your whimpering voice wavered as you felt your cunt pulsating.

“Go on, starlight, cum again for me. Wanna feel you gushing over my pants,” he said, he was also panting and his face was now flush, a thin layer of sweat on his brow bone as he was clearly close to his own end.

His soothing voice once again sent you over the edge, your vision blurring as you let out a cacophony of whimpers and sighs, coming and leaving a decent-sized wet spot over his pants as you had soaked through your underwear and shorts. Xavier let out a groan, letting you ride your high before he moved you down a little.

You were about to ask why he did that, but you watched as he took his cock out. It was hot and heavy looking in his hands, the tip glistening with pre cum as he worked his hand over his length. He closed his eyes, jerking his cock until ropes of cum shot out, painting the front of your shorts with his release. He looked so damn good like this, coming over you and you let out another, needy whine.

After he seemed to finish, he leaned in, capturing your lips in a kiss that you melted into. Your body felt like jelly, nice and pliable as you leaned into his chest. His lips brushed your own as he spoke, “We should get cleaned up,” he mumbled.

“Probably…” you sighed, not wanting to leave but knowing you had to.

“Are you at least entertained now?” his words made you flush as you pressed another quick kiss to his lips.

“Yes…but perhaps you could entertain me some more?” despite coming twice, you still wanted to feel him inside of you. Xavier huffed, looking at you from this close angle.

His hands hooked under your thighs, “Hold on then, starlight,” he said, waiting for your arms to wrap around his shoulders before standing up, “I might give you what you want…but first I want to make sure you’ve cleaned up properly,” you watched him lick his lips and your eyes widened at the implication. Perhaps this day off was going to turn into a cardio kind of day.

I was really lazy when it came to checking for typos and ran this through grammarly (free version) so we going off hopes and prayers that I didn't make any serious typos

[roosterforme]

Math for Aviators | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader

Summary: It's your fault that Bradley finds math so sexy now. When he surprises you by sneaking into one of your lectures, he gets rewarded with a little time alone with the professor after class.

Warnings: Fluff, swears and smut

Length: 2400 words

Pairing: Beer Boy and Sugar! Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader (former fuckboy college student Bradley)

This is a one-shot to accompany my fics Old Habits Die Hard and Right Girl, Wrong Time! Check out my masterlist

"See you two at the Hard Deck later?" Nat asked as Bradley climbed into the Bronco after work.

"Nah, it's my wife's late night on campus," he replied with a smirk. Calling you his wife had such a nice ring to it, he had all but stopped using your first name around his friends. "I'm gonna drop by. Maybe take a peek at her calculus lecture." 

She rolled her eyes in response. "Tell your wife I said not to forget about brunch on Saturday."

"I'll let my wife know."

He zipped out of the parking lot, still in his khaki uniform, and headed across town to San Diego State University. If there was one thing Bradley never thought would get him going, it was math. But you made it outrageously sexy with your PhD and your slutty little math tattoo. 

The fact that Bradley never got to attend one of your lectures during your first semester teaching in California felt like a crime. He'd wanted to, in the worst way, but your classes ended by six o'clock every day last term. But this time, you taught level four calculus on Thursday evenings. 

He parked and headed toward your building, smiling as some of the college aged girls looked at him as he strolled past. If they thought he looked good in his uniform, that was nothing compared to the fuss you usually made over him. 

Bradley followed a kid holding a skateboard into the mathematics and computer science building and turned left. He was only four minutes late for your class as he followed skateboard kid inside the lecture hall and let the door close softly behind him. The room was quite cavernous, but there were only about forty students in attendance. You always claimed you preferred the smaller classes so you could spend more time getting everyone where they needed to be individually. 

When his eyes met your body, Bradley almost moaned. You were leaning over the long table at the front of the room taking attendance, and you were wearing a white blouse tucked into that wool skirt he liked. Even your loafers looked cute. One of his favorite pastimes was picking on you for your east coast wardrobe, but holy shit, the professor look did things to him. Or maybe it was just you.

As you called out names, Bradley realized he was just standing in the back like an idiot, so he walked up a few rows and took an aisle seat.

"Francis?" you asked, and a girl who looked extremely disinterested raised her hand. "Luca? Alex? Did I miss anyone?"

When you looked up, your eyes found Bradley's almost instantly. The softest smile graced your lips, and Bradley desperately wanted to run down to where you were standing and kiss you. Instead he just winked, and then you were opening two additional notebooks on your table. 

"Before we get started, just a reminder about my office hours," you said, your voice projecting beautifully. Bradley had to adjust himself in his seat, because you were speaking right to him. "I'm always available to spend a little extra time with you should you need it." 

He was well acquainted with your office and the way your voice echoed off the walls when he made you scream his name. He would make it a point to join you for some office hours again soon. But right now, he was going to sit back and enjoy how much smarter you were than him.

"If you recall last week, we talked about the theorems of Green and Stokes. Let's focus a little more on the Green theorem. This is simply the relationship between the macroscopic circulation around the curve C and the sum of all the microscopic circulation that is inside C."

Bradley was already breathing a little heavy. Holy shit. Was he actually married to the smartest person in the world? It fucking sounded like it. And then you ran your fingertips gently along the side of your neck, and he sat up a little taller in his seat. But so did skateboard kid who was sitting in front of him. Bradley glanced around the room, and it looked like all the twenty something guys were hypnotized by you. The looks of open adoration on their faces as you turned toward the white board to work out a problem reminded him of the way he used to stare at you when he was twenty one. If he was being honest, he probably still did.

As you worked out the problem and bent at the waist, Bradley needed to adjust himself again. And when you turned to see if anyone had a question, you looked directly at him as you touched your neck again. 

"She's so hot," skateboard kid whispered to the guy next to him.

"Yeah," he grunted in response. "She's like extra hot today."

Bradley leaned forward, grinning and softly said, "That's my wife."

They both turned around to look at him briefly. Skateboard kid nodded in appreciation, and the other guy said, "Well done."

And then Bradley settled back in his seat and watched every move that you made. When you wrote out another equation in your tidy handwriting, you made the variables spell out B-E-E-R-B-O-Y. Every time you glanced at him, your fingers were touching your body somewhere that he was familiar with. He was itching to get his hands on you. 

It was an hour and a half of pure sexual tension, and Bradley knew you were enjoying yourself. Knowing he was sitting in the lecture hall seemed to be making your voice a little breathy. You were throwing out terms like "gradient, divergence curl, line and surface integrals, and differential equations" that were making him hard. This was foreplay at its finest. 

When you ended your lecture with some reminders about your class schedule, you had your hands on your hips, and your diamond ring was glittering on your hand. Bradley smirked as a line of students, mostly male, formed in front of you once you dismissed everyone. And now he understood why you got home so late on Thursdays. Because all these guys had a crush on you. On his wife.

Bradley was semi hard, and you kept glancing up to make sure he was still there. He wasn't going to go anywhere, you must know that. When you were finally helping skateboard kid with whatever question he fabricated just to have a chance to stand next to you, Bradley glanced down at his lap. Maybe you'd let him have some private office hours right now.

When the lecture hall was finally empty, save for the two of you, Bradley watched as you continued to tease him. You didn't glance to where he was sitting at all as you packed up your bag. And when you erased the board, he could tell you were standing on your tiptoes to make your ass look extra enticing just for him. 

"Professor Sugar," he groaned, rubbing himself through his khaki pants. 

You glanced at him over your shoulder with a devilish look on your face. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming to my lecture?" you asked quietly, but he could still hear you perfectly. 

Bradley grunted. "Got dismissed a little early. Just thought I'd surprise you."

"Did you learn anything new?" you asked, grabbing your bag from the table and heading his way.

"Nothing new," he replied. "Just a refresher course on how smart and hot my wife is."

You smiled as you set your bag down next to his seat. "I love it when you call me that." Then you came to stand between his spread thighs and leaned down to kiss him gently. Bradley let you tease him with feather soft kisses for a minute before he was aching inside his pants. 

He ran his rough hand along your pretty neck and asked, "Can I join you for some office hours? I really need them, Professor Sugar." When you giggled against his lips, Bradley wrapped his muscular arms around you and palmed your ass, pulling you onto his lap with a squeal. 

"Beer Boy!"

"Please? I'll be your top student, Baby. Better than that loser with his skateboard."

"You know, I'm starting to suspect that Luca might have ulterior motives for taking my class again this semester."

Bradley chuckled as he pushed your skirt up your thighs a few inches. "Yeah. His ulterior motive is your ass." Then he lightly slapped said ass as you raked your fingers through his hair and straddled him in the auditorium seat. "I know you can feel me, Sugar," he whispered. "Office hours? Or are you gonna make me wait until we get home?"

But instead of responding, you just rubbed yourself against him. If you weren't wearing panties, he would have a pretty, little wet spot to show off as he walked back to the Bronco. You tugged harder on his hair so his head was tipped back, and you kissed him a little rougher.

"I'm in charge in the lecture hall, not you. And I say no visit to my office."

Bradley groaned as you sucked on his neck, and he muttered, "Making me walk back to the Bronco hard?"

"No," you whispered, and his cock throbbed. "I'm going to suck your cock right here." Your smug smile as you pulled away from his neck left him blushing, he could tell. 

"Right here?" he asked, but your hands were already working on his belt buckle and zipper, and he lifted his hips in the seat so you could yank his pants down a little bit. 

"Mmhmm," you hummed against his lips before you walked to the back of the auditorium, leaving him sitting there with his hard cock out. 

"Sugar?" he whispered, covering himself with both hands as he craned his neck to see where you went. You flipped the lightswitch next to the door and peered out the small window into the hallway, and then you strolled back to where he was sitting. Bradley let you take his hands in yours and set them on his thighs as you knelt on the floor in front of him.

You looked so pretty, your skin illuminated by the soft lighting shining around the perimeter of the room. Your eyes were bright and mischievous as you looked up at him and kissed the precum away from his tip. Your pink tongue darted out to clean your lips before gently swiping the underside of his cock, and Bradley had to grip his thighs to keep from thrusting. Because it was clear you were going to take your time right now. 

"You are so hard, Beer Boy, you're absolutely throbbing."

When you took an inch or two between your pouty lips, Bradley's head tipped back. "I love math," he groaned. "It really gets me going. And I love your smart mouth."

You hummed around his length as you took another inch and swirled your tongue. Then you pulled him out with a soft pop, his head snapping back up to look at you. "You're such a good student," you whispered. "Top grades. Teacher's pet. Big cock."

"Fuck," Bradley grunted. "I'm coming to your lecture every week, Professor."

You smiled as you gripped him in one hand and licked up and down along the underside of his cock until he could feel your saliva dripping down his balls. He ran his thumb along your cheek, and then you took him deep so he could feel himself there. He groaned your name as he tapped the back of your throat, and you gagged for him. It was so fucking pretty the way he made your eyes water. 

If you weren't concerned about getting caught, then he certainly wasn't going to bring it up. He'd be lying if he said the idea of a public blowjob wasn't adding to his arousal. Hell, he thought the way you and he went at it in the college library study room was hot, and that door had a damn lock. So this was next level.

Bradley grunted in the quiet room, and the acoustics made the sound carry. You were bobbing along his length, making obscene little noises, and he just couldn't take it anymore. His hands found the back of your head, and after one thrust, your moans echoed around the room. 

"I love that sound," he growled, slowly fucking your face as you sucked on him. You kept eye contact with him as he started to come undone, his hips leaving the seat as he wanted more of you. Now you were gripping his thighs, ready to take his cum like a champ. He was there. He was right there. One more tap against the back of your throat. All your saliva dripping onto your blouse. It was everything. 

He knew you already knew it, but he grunted, "I'm cumming," as he spurted into your mouth and down your throat. Gripping the back of your head, he fucked your mouth with shallow thrusts until he slumped back akwardly into the seat with a long groan that filled the room. 

When you withdrew him, his cock was messy and you were grinning as you stuck out your tongue, showing off his load. "Gorgeous," he whispered with a smirk, watching you swallow him down before licking his softening length clean. "I love being the teacher's pet." 

You giggled as you helped him get tucked back into his khakis. "I only suck the dicks of my students with the highest grades."

"Hey now. You're my wife. You better only be sucking my dick," he rasped as you stood up in front of him and shrugged.

"Then you better keep getting top grades, Beer Boy." 

Bradley was obsessed with you. He quickly wrestled his belt into place as he followed the sway of your ass up to the auditorium doors. "I can't wait to see that skirt on the bedroom floor when we get home," he said as you pushed the door open. And there stood the janitor, about to enter the room to clean it. "Shit," Bradley grunted, still fiddling with his belt. 

But you just waved and said, "Goodnight, Herman," as the janitor smirked at Bradley. 

He didn't even bother with his belt after that. He just took your hand in his and walked with you to the Bronco, thinking about all the things he wanted to do to you once your skirt was on the bedroom floor. 

----------------------

This was written to celebrate the birthday of the lovely @mak-32 ! Beer Boy and Sugar wouldn't even exist without you, Mak! I hope you have the most wonderful day! Thanks for your help and the banner @beyondthesefourwalls

@hotch-meeeeeuppppp

@swthxrry

@chassy21

@yaboid19

@solacestyles

@avoirlecoupdefoudre

@daisyhollyxox

@throwinsauce

@awesomebooklover17

@wintercap89

@whosyourgnomie4

@rosesinmars

@blog-name6996

@bcon24

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@tetragonia

@gingerbreadandpaper

@emptyloverofmine

@chaoticassidy

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@sugarcoated-lame

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@katiebby04

@marantha

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@abaker74

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@heli991113

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@little-wiseone

@ccbb2222

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@o-the-o-grim-o-reaper-o

@xoxabs88xox

[juanarc-thethird]

Mutual Feelings.

Jaune is in his room playing video games with May. They are sitting on Jaune's bed facing the TV.

Jaune: Almost! Almost! I got you!! Woo-ho!! Another victory for me~

May: *Sad* Oh… I lost again.

Jaune: Don't be sad. You're playing a lot better now. And one day maybe you'll beat me, but I'm really good so… *He said it with a smug smile*

May: *Smiling she pushes Jaune a little with her shoulder* Shut up, ugly. You suck

Jaune: *Chuckles*

*Knock! Knock!*

Nora: *Walks in the room* Hey guys...

Jaune: Oh hey Nora. I though you went to the movies with Ren.

Nora: We are, is just that I forgot my wallet here. Don't worry, I'm not going to ruin your date. *She smiles, teasing him*

The two individuals in question blush at the comment.

Jaune: *Red* Is not a date!

Nora: Sureee... *takes her wallet* and I am not in love with Ren.

Jaune grabs one of her pillows if he throws it at her.

Jaune: Leave!

Nora quickly leaves the room, laughing in the process.

Jaune: Jeez, that Nora. Sorry about that May.

May: *Blushing* I-It's ok.

Jaune: I'm going to get something to eat at the vending machines. Want something? *He says as he starts to get up*

May: I'll go with you! *She says as she stands up as well*

Without noticing, May lost her balance and tried to hold on to Jaune. He realizes this and tries to catch her. But they both fall to the ground, May on top of Jaune.

Jaune: Ouch... May, are you ok?

May: Y-Yes, I'm fine.

May raises her head to see Jaune, and he is stunned after see in her face so close. For him it was as if for the first time he saw how beautiful May is. Her beautiful gray eyes, her delicate tanned skin, her gorgeous red hair. Jaune already had feelings for her, but he never made a move out of fear of losing her friendship. But seeing her in this position, he knew that he had to act and make her his girlfriend, and one day her future wife.

Jaune: *Nervous* M-May!

May: *Jumps a little in surprise* Y-Yes!

Jaune: I like you a lot! Please go out with me!

May: *Blushing* Eh?!

Jaune: I have always liked you but I was afraid to say it thinking that maybe I would lose your friendship. But I can't contain myself anymore! I really like you a lot, and hope we can even get marry one day!

May *RED* EH?!!!

Jaune: W-what you think about that?

May: I... I.... I like you too!! *She says at the top of her lungs* I always liked you, but I was afraid you were going to reject me. I'm so happy!

She suddenly reaches for Jaune's head and kisses him passionately. Jaune can feel her moving her hands over his body as they kiss. He feels how her hand walks along his chest, his stomach, and then ends up on his…

Jaune: *Stops Kissing* May, that's my-!

May: I'm sorry, but I've waited so long for this that I can't contain myself. I really love you a lot. I want to feel close to you as much as possible. Please…

She looks at him with a pleading face. She looked so tender that Jaune couldn't deny her. He thought that having sisters would help you with these things, but when the girl you like begs you so sweetly, how can he refuse?

Jaune: O-Ok, I want this too.

May: *Smiling* I love you~ *Kiss*

Moments later....

May: Jaune~💕 Ah!~💕 I love you su much~💕

Jaune: I love you too~ Fuck!~💕

Jaune was sitting on his bed, while May was in the back of him, enjoying how his member penetrated deep inside her again and again.

May: I can't think straight if you keep thrusting like that!~💕

Jaune: I can help it. You feel to good~ *starts kissing her neck*

May: You too!~💕 FUck~💕! You're the only one for me. I want to be with you forever.

Jaune: God damn it. I think am about to cum.

May: Please do. Please cum inside me~💕

Jaune hugs May tightly with both arms and begins to fuck her with more intensity.

May: Yes!~💕 Keep fucking me like that!~💕

Jaune: Oh shit!~💕 I'm getting close!

May: I'm close too, don't stop!~💕

Jaune: Oh fuck! Oh fuck!! Oh FucK!!

May: Give it to me!!

Jaune: OH FUCk!!

Jaune pushes May down with all his strength. His cock shot all of his cum deep inside her, filling her whole.

May: Oh GOD!!~💕 Is so much! I love you so much!

Jaune: *Huff* *Huff* I love you too.

May: *Hugs him tight* Fuck, lets stay like this for a momento ok?

Jaune: Of course.

May: *Kiss him* I so happy to be with you.

Jaune: *Kiss her back* Me too.

[flwrstqr]

𖥔 CATALOGUE : INDIVIDUAL MEMBERS.

DISCLAIMER. please be aware that plagiarism is strictly prohibited. do not repost, alter, or translate any of my content without my consent.

all idols depicted in my work are distinct characters and do not illustrate their real-life identities. they are fictional personas created for the purpose of entertainment and should not be seen as an accurate reflection of reality.

LEE HEESEUNG —⁠이희승

necessary love — you realized you were in love with him the whole time / fluff

under the rain — kissing under the rain with him / fluff

how to lose a guy in 10 days ( long au )

SYNOPSIS: an advice writer, you, starts on a bold new project for an article aiming to explain how to drive a man away in just 10 days. your editor is supports, so you set out to find a suitable man for her experiment. meanwhile, executive heeseung is equally confident in his ability to make any woman fall in love with him within 10 days. when you and heeseung cross paths, things slightly go off plan.

taste of your lips — when he takes the lip balm off your lips by kissing you on the lips / drabble

falling in love accidentally (or not) ( long au ) **TOP PICK** 📌

SYNOPSIS: babysitting wasn't your dream job that you always wanted. as you start babysitting a new girl, lee jihyeon, you meet her older brother, lee heeseung. You end up getting closer and closer to heeseung and ultimately fall in love amidst the chaos.

one thing before you leave —heeseung stealing a kiss from you before he lets you leave his lap / oneshot

call me yours ( long au ) **HIGHEST PICK** ⭐️

SYNOPSIS: ever since you broke up with your ex, choi jiho, who cheated on you with another girl, you have always wanted to get revenge. when you meet jiho again at school, to prove you were over him and had met a better man, you told him you were meeting someone. you lied and told him you were meeting a random guy who you pointed at on your school's bulletin board for being the top student in the whole school. coincidentally, that guy was lee heeseung, known for his quiet and smart personality. then jiho demands to meet him in real life, hand-in-hand with you, which now you have a huge problem. first, you have to find heeseung, and next, you have to date him.

painting day — you have many favorite moments with heeseung but your favorite is especially when you paint your boyfriend's nails for fun / oneshot

missed target — heeseung said you missed his kiss, but it was an excuse / fluff

PARK JONGSEONG —⁠박종성

loving morning — when you come back to meet your husband after a trip / fluff

kissing your tears away — when he kisses your tears away / comfort

someone's jealous — after jay and you had an arguement before the concert, he gets jealous after seeing you sing to a guy / one shot

2:02 — when jay tucks you to bed again / timestamp

stealing your boyfriend — when your baby cousin steals your boyfriend / one shot

SIM JAEYUN —⁠심재윤

if you do it, i'll do it — when you were about to kiss jake until he woke up / one shot **TOP PICK** 📌

look away —when jake gets jealous at his patient checking you out / one shot

scent change — when he notices your scent changed / fluff

8:08 — jake pressing his forehead against yours to check your temperature / timestamp

soft kisses your pain — jake leaving soft kisses on your fresh bruise / drabble

PARK SUNGHOON —⁠박성훈

sickness days together — you, suffering from cramps and snapping at sunghoon, later feel guilty and buy him antacids, apologizing and finding comfort in each other’s company. / one shot

who knew babysitting was this hard? — when you and him babysit your best friend's kids / one shot

9:37 am — sunghoon cheering you up with kisses / timestamp

failed proposal — when you find your engagement ring / one shot

princess diaries ( long au )

SYNOPSIS: you are a shy, awkward teenager living with your artist mother. your life is turned upside down when you discover you are the heir to the throne of genovia. at first, you're reluctant to accept your new identity. as you face challenges at school, with the media, and within yourself, you struggle to balance your normal life with your royal duties. sunghoon, who has secretly liked you for a long time, finds himself falling even more for you as he sees you grow into your new role. as you navigate your new life, you and sunghoon grow closer, sharing quiet moments and, most importantly, falling in love.

boyfriend sunghoon texts — bf!sunghoon texts / smau

i want you so bad — sunghoon falls in love with a pretty girl who follows him / smau

KIM SUNOO —김선우

is this falling in love — when you start falling in love with your mc partner / drabble

YANG JUNGWON — 양정원

10:45 — when you wake up with jungwon / timestamp

how to kiss a girl — he asks you how to kiss his crush, when your his crush / one shot

there's something there — jungwon excuse to just kiss you

nightmares — calming you down when you're having a bad dream

NISHIMURA RIKI —西村力

maybe meant to be ( smau )

SYNOPSIS you're in a hot rookie group called luminaraverse under source music entertainment. the next thing you know after your debut is you become the music bank president with the one and only nishimura riki from enhypen. which is a chance for you to get closer to him. or in which he falls with you, you fall harder, and he falls the hardest

soulmates in a second universe — when you ask riki if you're soulmates in another universe / fluff

stealing your kisses (or gum) — he steals the gum from your mouth / fluff **TOP PICK** 📌

focused in your eyes — when he can't help but stare at you with love as you talk

10 things i hate about you ( long au ) **TOP PICK** 📌

SYNOPSIS: there are two sisters: yu karina, a popular girl who's eager to date, and yu y/n, an antisocial girl who is totally uninterested in dating. their overprotective father finally agrees to let karina date, but only if y/n does too. to solve this problem, new student eunwoo, who has a crush on karina, teams up with daeho, a wealthy but narcissistic student. daeho pays the school's bad boy, nishimura riki, to take you out on a date. at first, you are a bit resistant, but soon you find yourself gradually falling in love with riki, who starts to genuinely care for you.

© 2024 — all rights reserved to user flwrstqr, please do not steal, plagiarise or translate any of my work without prior permission from me

[sanjisboyfie]

one piece masterlist ౨ৎ

[ keep safe series ] // ongoing, romantic undertones, slow burn, future angst, comedic

-> "it's beautiful, how this deep normality settles down over me. i'm not bored or unhappy. i'm still so strange and wild. you're in the wind, i'm in the water. nobody's son, nobody's daughter." or, joining the strawhat pirates as luffy's childhood friend allows you to make memorie with people who started as strangers, but then became your loved ones.

playlist

๑ prologue

๑ the cursed orphan enters 彡 alabasta arc begins

๑ [name] joins the strawhats

๑ just a friendly competition...right?

๑ heartfelt conversations with a chef

๑ coffee beans

๑ i'm gonna freeze my balls off

๑ i'm gonna freeze my balls off, pt. 2

๑ crimson red icicles

๑ luffy's innate instincts (a hum of the heart)

๑ new crewmate, tony tony chopper

๑ his hand on his ankle

๑ don't you know? "lover" outweights "boyfriend"

๑ i'll kill you, i'll really kill you

๑ "together in chaos."

๑ zoro being annoyed at his captain and [name]

๑ mr. prince and mr. executioner

๑ the dogs are hounding on [name]

๑ wings that made [name] fly

๑ see you later, vivi!

❔[NAME] WIKI - ALABASTA ARC ENDS

๑ more in common than you'd think 彡 skypiea arc begins

๑ robin and [name] make a good team!

๑ we made it!

๑ [name] wants to adopt suu!

๑ that god guy thing

๑ strawhat adventure team, go!

๑ chopper's crown

๑ put a face to the name

๑ mummified [name]

๑ four hundred years is not too late

ꔛ 666 heart special for quotev -> individual one shots with each straw hat, each assigned a representative song that describes the relationship they share with [name]

๑ navarone - g8

๑ davy back fight 彡 long ring long land arc begins

-> frequently used tags:

#≡;- ꒰ ° keep safe series ꒱

#ks

#one piece fanfic

#one piece fanfiction

DOMESTICITY series // based off of keep safe characters/relationships, but can be read as standalone one shots

ꔛ sanji's special dessert -> he prepares a dessert only for you since he knows your likes and dislikes

ꔛ a shared interest among swordsmen -> rare moments of peace and quiet with zoro

ꔛ nami is working, don't interrupt -> she doesn't mind the company, especially if you're peeling her tangerines

ꔛ usopp and [name]'s conversation -> heart to heart

one piece [ smau ] // social media au

ପ strawhats misc. edition

ପ dating luffy edition

ପ dating nami edition

ପ dating sanji edition

ପ strawhat vacation edition

ପ dating zoro edition

ପ dating usopp edition

ପ dating vivi edition

ପ married to law edition

ପ married to franky edition

ପ married to robin edition

ପ dating eustass kid edition

ପ married to doflamingo edition

ପ dating ace edition

ପ married to marco edition

ପ dating sabo edition

-> frequently used tags:

#≡;- ꒰ ° smau series ꒱

#one piece smau

#one piece modern au

[ yandere ]

જ yandere zoro headcanons

જ yandere sanji headcanons

જ soft yandere luffy

જ yandere luffy

-> frequently used tags:

#≡;- ꒰ ° yandere series ꒱

#≡;- ꒰ ° yandere headcanons ꒱

[ drabbles // one shots // headcanons ]

ꔛ playlist : tender by blur [ luffy x male reader ] // based off of keep safe characters, but can read as a standalone one shot. small hints of yandere luffy. // snippet of pt.2

-> tender is the night, lying by your side. tender is the touch of someone that you love too much. tender is my heart. i'm screwing up my life. lord i need someone to who can heal my mind, or luffy and reader reminisce about their childhood memories while cuddling in merry's crow's nest.

-

SUGAR DADDY series

ꔛ in a world of boys, he's a gentleman, nami x SD male reader

ꔛ pass the test, nami x SD male reader, the one where he meets nami's friends

-

ꔛ shanks being your doting boyfriend

ꔛ random sanji headcanons

ꔛ sanji has a crush on you ♡︎

ꔛ halloween with the strawhats [platonic]

ꔛ a day in the life as a strawhat [platonic]

ꔛ rockstar ! tragalar law headcanons

ꔛ me psychoanalyzing sanji x male reader

ꔛ random individual headcanons ; includes, law, luffy and zoro

ꔛ the type of man . . .

[volturiprincess]

Háblame De Ti

:tell me about you:

Demetri Volturi x Fem human reader

Summary: The way he looks at you when you talk A/N: This one was inspired by the song "Hablame de ti" by Banda MS. I connected two and two when I was driving to the beach and this song went on and I was like "Omg this is giving Demetri vibes, write it down Mj (me)". I swear this happens to me to often, ideas for one-shots just randomly come to mind and I quickly pull out "notes" on my phone if I'm not on my computer and later transfer that idea do my doc and write out a whole brainstorm or just start writing right away. Anyways......Enjoy💙 (Ps. I might or might of now of added my other fictional lovers on here🤭)

Word Count: 1k+

(What a lovely man. I love his little smile here🥰)

“Your not going to believe who Kelsey ended up with”

“Tell me”

I crossed my legs to get more comfy. Me and Demetri are in the outskirts of Volterra in a small clearing of grass that we go to when the weather is nice. With it already being  summer, and the sun beating down on us, Demetri’s gorgeous sparkle comes through. Oh how I can stare at him all day long and try to count every individual little diamond that seems to be on his face. To just admire his beauty and not be interrupted by others, to not have to worry about anything but him alone. His state right is laying on his stomach with his head resting on his head, and his feet basically kicked up, swaying side to side. He seems so relaxed and he’s giving me his undivided attention at the same time.

“She ended up with Ren”

“No way”

“Exactly, and poor Kishan was left behind, can you believe how devastated I was how he was just left behind in time. I so wanted to reach into the book and pull him out”

“And what would you do with him if that were possible”

“Well give him his happily ever after of course my man has suffered to much”

“Your man? What am I some side chick now?”

“Demetri you will always be my main, Kishan would be my side I guess”

“No I don't like that, no side chicks or whatever you just have me”

“Fine, so I can't even have Moony or Padfoot either?”

“Nope”

“What about Nanami, please let me at least have him”

“I'll think about it, but tell me more about what happened after they left Kishan”

I continued with my ramble of the book I finished. When I talk about books with him he lets me go off and does not interrupt unless he has a question. Even when I fear I have talked to much or I bored him, I look at him and he’s still looking at me with anticipation for me to continue 

Third Person

A thing that y/n didn't realize about Demetri was how he looks at her. When they are out in their spot at this time of the year, Demetri sees a whole new side of her. He just sits or lays there looking at her like she is the only breathing soul on this earth. If it were possible his pupils would form into little hearts because that is all he sees when he looks at her, hearts. He has the purest of adoration for her; if someone were to watch them for a distance, they would assume Demetri is under a love spell from how he watches her. He's so smitten with her it's almost as if it's too good to be true, it seems too much like a fairytale. And to them it does feel like it, their alone time is their little bubble of paradise. Just them against the world, no vampire or human in sight, even the animals seem to leave them alone. 

Demetri and y/n or y/n or Demetri, bounded for eternity, how it should be according to them. Just them two, even if currently one is immortal and another is mortal, they just click. The minute they meet, life just makes sense for them at that moment. When he moves, she moves, she wanders and he follows her around. Or he will gently guide her back to their initial journey since his lovely mate tends to get distracted with little things.

Oooo what a pretty flower, oh my what an interesting looking tree, how is that possible for it to bend like that? Demetri look a family of little bunnies, can I take them home?

Those are just superficial questions and thoughts she will have when she wanders but Demetri loves every little quirk she carries, even the one where sometimes she hides herself from him when he catches her moving with the wind. 

“You were not supposed to see that”

“Well i'm glad I did because now I can join you, care to share a dance cariño?” 

Demetri’s POV

What a beauty of a human she is. She’s a rare jewel that can never be dared to be duplicated or even have the audacity to be recreated. No one will even come close to being like her because she is one in a million. The way she can talk to me for hours without stopping warms my heart for it being she trusts me enough to say whatever is on her mind. Her voice, the voice of an angel indeed. How can someone like her even exist? I sometimes fear I'm in a dream with her, I just can never fully believe she is my mate. She was made for me, she’s everything I have ever wanted but at the same time something I never knew I needed. If I were to sketch out what I believe my mate would have looked like, it would have looked like her. 

I never pictured myself finding my mate in this lifetime or ever, but when she came into my life, I was enamored of the idea of her. All of the heartache I harbored within the past vanished to be replaced by an overwhelming feeling of devotion and infatuation dedicated just for her. 

I deeply value my alone time with her, it's our time to be with each other without any interruption or worry of some duty I need to do. Even if my mind is racing with a million thoughts revolving around her, I catch every single word that comes from her pretty little mouth. At last I think I might have gotten a bit too deep in my love for her because she is staring at me with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes?”

“I said why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?”

“Well your looking at me all weird”

“Can’t a vampire stare at his mate with love?”

And my oh my, that lovely blush of her’s starts to bloom on her lovely face. It saddens me to think what when the day comes for her to become like me, her blush will be no more. I will miss it but it excites me that we will officially have forever. 

Still blushing she responds with a small stutter “W-well you can, n-no judgment, but were you paying attention?”

“Of course my angel, you just said that Ren and Kelsey got married”

She nodded and proceeded to keep talking about the book. So adorable when she doubts me, I am always listening to her. There are times where she sleep talks sometimes and I manage to her say that she loves me so much. It gave me a warm feeling within to think she loves me as much as I love her, well actually I think I love her more. But why tell her that? When I have to be away from her due to missions or training, I am aching to be in her arms as soon as I leave. To be in her warm embrace, to have my face filled with her lips giving me multiple small kisses, to seeing her smile when she sees me. 

If only she knew the deep effect she has on me, I only mentioned slight things but soon enough she will know. If I were to tell her my deeper feelings, I don't think her mind would be able to comprehend it, my love for her is intense, so strong and raw. Sometimes it does scare me in how much I love her. 

Y/N POV

“I'm still mad about it, you know? Like you have no idea how much I cried”

“I know cariño, I was there wiping your tears away all night”

“That you were, I'm so lucky to have you my love”

“I know i'm just the best you know”

I slap his shoulder playfully at his exaggerated cockiness. He can be such a goofball sometimes and I love that about him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``

Cariño: Dear

[agent-cupcake]

Flashbang

Chapter 1 - Puppet Loosely Strung

Spotify Playlist / All Chapters / Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 /Chapter 7/ Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 pt.1 / Chapter 9 pt.2 / Chapter 10 / Chapter 11 / Chapter 12

Pairing: One Piece Live Action Buggy x f! Reader

Synopsis: Running away to join the circus doesn’t go exactly as you hoped it would.

Warnings: Mentions of past abuse, murder, generally dark content

Word Count: 13.9k

Disclaimer: I don’t read the manga or watch the anime. This is based solely on OPLA Buggy because Jeff Ward.

Some quick notes before we start: This is what I've been working on this since October. Originally it was going to be one really big one-shot posted at the same time, but it's big enough that I can justify posting it as a series. I'll add warnings as I go, but this is not a happy story and there will be explicit content later on. The reader character might not be somebody you see yourself in, I had a very specific image of what character I had in mind while writing. To me, reader fic is more of a sort of play acting rather than "oh that's literally me" but I know that's not everybody's cup of tea. A lot of this is cope fic and it shows. When times get rough the porn gets rougher, right?

I had help writing this from an individual who is very dear to me. Flashbang wouldn't exist without her, especially since she was the one who gave me the clown brain rot. And then there has been the hours of brainstorming and spitballing and watching Jeff Ward shows/movies as she continued to feed my addiction. Thank you, my love, and also damn you because this wasn't what I needed.

New chapter every Sunday. Enjoy~

.

“Let me put myself in your shoes

As a puppet loosely strung

Around you, they were so confused

That a faulty man could have so much fun”

.

All it took was a little doubt. Through logic or confusion or wishful thinking, you could be convinced that the insignificant person who had parasitically driven you around for the past however many years was a stranger, and now they were gone. Everything that had ever happened fell into incomprehensible dust, and every thought you ever had belonged to somebody else. A cycle of a million memories you didn’t recognize spun through this foggy place, none of them real, none of them familiar. 

Logic, confusion, wishful thinking, or unconsciousness. An endless dream of nothing at all. But as soon as you became aware, it was awareness that those thoughts happened in the past tense, crushed inward by the unrelenting force of existence, and you were shoved back into a body. You—not the real you, the stranger you, the one made of heat and fury and pain, the one you couldn’t recognize—were gasping and thrashing in ignorant confusion, coughing out the sickening taste of blood in your throat. 

Everything, all of it, hurt. And that was all that existed. 

Until it wasn’t. 

Your panicked thrashing made you realize that you were upright, your body straining painfully against the various chains keeping you pinned against the wall in an X. The position put nearly all of your weight on your shoulders and left your head to sag heavily to the side, making the terrible, dizzying headache that much worse. Having suffered more than your fair share of them, you knew that this headache was from more than an uncomfortable position or your old injury. A hot throbbing pain radiated out from the back of your head, shooting little sparks down your spine. It hurt bad enough that nausea formed a tight, heavy ball in your stomach. Gritting your teeth, you forced your eye open, fighting the urge to cringe away from the light as it rolled this way and that. Colors and lights were nothing more than a nauseating smear, but at least you could see. 

Little by little, you became aware of yourself. From far away, you had a vague recollection of leaving, of nerves, excitement, and then of danger. But… no, why weren’t you at home? Doom settled in its rightful place as you realized exactly how little you remembered or knew, slotting into the spot of coherence and reason. Despite the pain, you fought against the shackles holding you in the uncomfortable position, irrationally desperate to be free of them. 

“There she is! Finally,” somebody said from your left. His voice hit like a hammer to the back of your aching head. You strained to look at the speaker, he sounded close, but you couldn’t turn your head far enough to make up for your limited vision. 

Luckily, he didn’t stay out of sight for long. The man’s boots were loud and deliberate as he slowly moved out of your literal blind spot. To your ill-adjusting eye, he was not much more than a blur of white and red and blue, his big smile smudged as you rapidly blinked to focus. A little shock of meaningless recognition in your brain saw the makeup and red nose and said ‘clown’, but the sheer ridiculousness of that made you even more sure that this wasn’t real. 

“Not a fun way to wake up, is it?” he asked. “Keep breathing, let it drain back and cough it out. Trust me, it’s over quicker that way.”

The question you tried to form was, “Who are you?” but all you could manage was a heavy groan followed by a fit of painful coughs, wheezing raggedly in between. Each desperate convulsion rattled the chains and caused the wood to creak, but did nothing to free your bound limbs. The man seemed bored by it, annoyed he had to wait for you to get ahold of yourself. 

Since he hadn’t immediately helped you down, you could only assume that he was the one who shackled you in the first place. Strung you up against a wooden board of some kind in a room you didn’t know. Cramped and windowless, it reeked of paint and sweat and sawdust and sweet salty rot—a unique smell that didn’t help your nausea. Clutter stacked up against the walls. Dense, humid air pressed against you like a heavy coat, paradoxically chilling. Probably because of the fever burning beneath your skin, slicking you up with sweat, soaking into your clothes and the bandana you kept wrapped around your head over the left eye.

Breathe. You focused on your breathing. Panic wouldn’t help you. 

“You done?” he asked. Without any other choices, you turned your head to shamefully wipe your face off on your sleeve before nodding. “Great. Well, now that you’re awake… Welcome!” He threw out his arms with the flamboyant manner of a showman with the greeting, but they wilted right after, his big smile dropping a bit. “Or, at least, that’s what I would say if you hadn’t let yourself in and stolen the opportunity from me.” 

That was bad. Very, very bad. You jerked in an awkward, uncoordinated burst, physically reacting to the danger he presented. 

“No, no, don’t leave on my account,” he said, waving his hands and getting closer as if to stop you. “Oh wait, you can’t! Hah! Yeah, ‘cause of the chains.” He smiled affably, like it was a harmless joke, standing close enough for his gloved fingers to skim along the chain wrapped around your neck. “I guess you’re not going anywhere, huh?” 

You didn’t respond, barely daring to breathe when he was so close. Smiles and melodrama aside, his blue eyes were oddly dead, fixed on you without the slightest bit of humor. And then it finally came back to you, the vital thing that you should have known, that you would have known if you weren’t strung up and suffering such a crippling headache. The makeup, the nose, the hat—

“You’re,” you began to say, but your voice was hoarse and weak, you could barely get it out when he was looking at you so closely, so intently. You cleared your throat, wincing at the metallic taste. “You’re the-that pirate captain Buggy, like on the-the poster?” Right! The clown guy, the red-nosed pirate. You were looking for him. So this was… good, wasn’t it? 

He gave you a flat look, clearly not sharing your weak enthusiasm. “Yes. I am that pirate captain. Buggy, the Genius Jester? The most feared pirate captain in all the East Blue?” He turned with a dramatic flick of his coat, messing with something that had to flash silver before you realized it was a knife. “The man destined to find the One Piece and become King of the Pirates. Yes. I am that pirate captain. And,” he paused, checking to make sure you were paying attention, “a very busy, very important man. I’ve got, oh, ten minutes or so for you to decide how this is gonna go. So let’s get straight to it.” He turned back, pointing the knife at you. “Who are you, and what are you after?”

The accusatory tone of his voice took you aback. “Nothing… I’m not anybody,” you stammered out. “And this… this isn’t what it looks like, I swear.”

Buggy, to your surprise, relented after a second of considering your appeal, nodding understandingly. 

There was no transition from his look of sympathy to raising the knife and aiming it at you. By the time you realized he meant to throw it, you barely had a chance to yelp. The blade took a loud, thumping bite into the wood beside you. On your left side, of course. Where you couldn’t see it. You could feel it, though. The air displacement ruffled the fine hairs around your ear. If you had flinched in that direction, it probably would be in your skull. With your dizzy head aching and confused, you had no regulation to your fear or discomfort, your breathing dangerously unsteady and tears pricking the corner of your eyes. 

“Let me try a different question,” Buggy said before you could collect yourself, pulling out another knife. “Who else knows about this place?”  

“Nobody! I swear, nobody else. I was just…” You didn’t know what to say. It was all you could do to breathe the thick, heavy air and fight down the tide of nausea.  

“Just what?” Buggy asked, leaning in with raised eyebrows to show that he was listening intently. You opened and closed your mouth, unable to come up with the right words. Thoughts churned through the thick sludge in your head, getting stuck or lost or confused. 

“I’m so sorry,” you said, the stumbling apology coming out more naturally than anything else, an attempt to buy time while you organized your thoughts. “Please doh-don’t…. I’m so ss-sorry.” 

Buggy sighed, standing up straight and raising his hand to aim. 

“Nonono, please d-” You yelped louder this time, flinching away as the knife streaked through the air and stuck not even an inch away from your right cheek. You exhaled a pathetic little sob, whatever you were bound to shaking with your body. 

“Listen, honey buns,” Buggy said. “Drop the act. Stop the whining. I caught you, red handed, sneaking into my lair.” He pulled something out of his pocket. Not another knife, but a piece of paper which he unfolded, holding it up for you to see. His wanted poster, creased into sixths from the way you folded it to keep it close, to keep it hidden. “I found this in your bag. You know who I am, and you know where you are. You have to, so let’s do away with all the theatrics, okay?” 

You swallowed hard, nodding quickly in the hope that it would appease him. 

“Right now, this is a conversation,” Buggy said, gesturing between the two of you. “A light interrogation, really. But if you keep being uncooperative and wasting my time, it’s gonna go from being interrogate-y to being torture-y real quick. You don’t want that, right?” Although he was unmistakably threatening you, Buggy’s tone was more natural than before. There was a bluntness to it, an honesty. Men like him didn’t idly use words like torture. 

You sniffed, trying very hard to calm yourself down. This was a misunderstanding, so you just had to convince him. Simple as that. He would understand. You would make him understand.

“Right,” you agreed. 

“Fantastic. So,” he loudly clapped his hands together, “who else knows about this place?”

“Nobody, I promise… I’m really sorry I broke in,” you told him, speaking slowly so your words didn’t catch. “I just wanted to meet with you.” 

Buggy’s eyes narrowed suspiciously, the hair hanging out from the sides of his hat swaying as his head tilted curiously. “You’re a fan?” he clarified. “That explains why you’re so pathetic. Well I hate to break it to you, but there’s a reason I only hold meet and greets after shows.” 

“No, that’s not why! I-I want to join your crew,” you said. “I came to ask you to let me join your crew.” 

He blinked twice, staring at you with obvious disbelief. “Excuse me, what?” 

“I want to be a pirate,” you told him, louder. “Please. Please let me join your crew.”

Buggy’s expression didn’t change, but you could see the rippling shift of incredulity, befuddlement, skepticism, and then amusement in his eyes. That emotion burst outward into a loud laugh, making you flinch. “That’s the best you can do?” he asked. “Ask to join my crew?” He looked at you again, laughing even harder. “I don’t know what’s funnier—that anybody would send you to spy on me, or that you’d think I would consider hiring you.” 

“I mean it!” you argued, humiliation and desperation seeping into the thousand other discomforts of your position. This wasn’t at all how you wanted this to go.

“Sweetheart,” Buggy said condescendingly, “even assuming I believe you, this is a pirate crew, not an afterschool club.”

“I know. I know what pirates do, I know what you do,” you told him. “I’ll do anything, whatever you want. Please, please, just give me a chance.”

He nodded, turning to pace as he thought about it. 

“Okay, let’s say that I buy this… this act of yours,” Buggy said. “Do you have any experience? Maintaining ships, reading maps, loading cannons. You know, basic stuff.”

There was a line you had prepared to answer this question, one that would paint you in the most charitable light. You remembered that, but you couldn’t remember the line. All you could give was the truth. “A little.”

He clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “Thought so. What about specialties? Unique skills? Any sort of talent that I can use in my show—anything at all. I mean other than,” he gestured vaguely in your direction, “that. We don’t need another one eyed midget. They’re surprisingly common.” 

“I’m not a midget,” you told him, nerves fading to incredulity. 

Buggy stepped back to size you up before seemingly conceding the point with a shrug. “And the eye?” He covered his left eye to illustrate. “Is that for a bit or something?” 

Your stomach twisted with a familiar lurch. Disgust. Shame. Phantom light in the dark. “It’s not.” 

“How’d you lose it?” 

“I didn’t… lose it.” 

“It’s still in there?” he asked excitedly, stepping forward and reaching to remove the bandana. “I have got to see this.” 

“No, please—please don’t,” you begged, trying to wriggle away from his hand. Pinned to the board with your hands bound above your head, there was nowhere to go. “Please don’t, please-” 

“Come on,” Buggy said, indifferent to your pleas as he pulled the sweat soaked fabric off of your left eye. “How bad could it be—AH!” He yelled in horror, jumping away as if you’d bitten him. 

The bandana hit the floor, leaving your ruined eye and its jagged scar exposed. You couldn’t hide. All you could do was flinch back, turning your head away. “I’m sorry,” you said, ready to continue apologizing before you realized that his shock had immediately dissolved into raucous laughter. “Why are you… why are you laughing?” you asked, pulling desperately against the chains. 

“I got you good,” Buggy said, his laughter subsiding. “The way you reacted, I thought that you’d be completely deformed. A real sideshow. But this…” He grabbed your chin, forcing it to the side so he could get a better look. “I couldn’t charge for this.”

“Please stop,” you begged, shaking off his grip and staring hard at his shoulder. 

“Ohhh. You’re really embarrassed about it.”

You didn’t say anything, focusing mostly on fighting the tears. 

“Okay, alright, yeah,” Buggy said, stepping back. “I think I’m starting to get why you would risk life and limb to beg me for a job. You grew up as a cute girl in a shithole town like this. A big fish in a little pond, as they say. Then, suddenly, BAM, you’re deformed, and, sure, they all say that it was tragic, but the truth is that they can’t stand to look at you. Even the people who loved you, the people you trusted, think you’re a freak. They abandoned you. So, without any other options, you come to me, pleading for me to give you a place amidst your fellow freaks. That about it?”

You didn’t say anything—what could you say to that?— which Buggy seemed to take as confirmation, nodding thoughtfully. 

“Well, go big or go home, right? As far as a starlet’s breakout role, you couldn’t go any bigger. Thing is, I’m not really looking for new acts. Not to mention your abysmal audition.” He sucked in a breath through his teeth, looking you up and down again. 

You could feel your chance slipping away. Just like that. Go big or go home, that’s what he said. 

“Please, Captain Buggy,” you begged, staring him in the eye despite how disquieting it was, despite how your skin crawled from exposing your left eye to somebody. Addressing him properly, at the very least, got his attention. “I promise that you won’t regret it. I’ll learn, I want to learn how to be a pirate, how to perform, all of it, everything. And if I can’t, I’ll do laundry and clean and cook, I have lots of experience with that. I don’t care what you ask me to do, if you let me join your crew, I’ll happily serve you for the rest of my life.”

Buggy didn’t respond right away. You thought—hoped—that it meant he understood how serious you were, but his expression gave you nothing. There wasn’t much light in the room in the first place, but somehow he found enough to shine unnervingly in his pale blue eyes. Somebody with a bright red clown nose shouldn’t have been able to look so intimidating, but the way he studied you burned with an uncomfortable intensity. It had been a while since anybody looked at you so frankly, so openly, without disgust or pity. 

“Why?” he finally asked. 

“Why…?” you repeated, confused.

“I get that you want to leave this place, and I even buy into your whole wanting to be a pirate thing, but, you know, aside from the obvious,” he gestured to himself, “why should I believe that you really want to serve me? You’re young and cute…ish, don’t you want freedom and empowerment and all those other things girls go on and on about?” 

Your eyebrows furrowed. “Why would I?” 

A moment of quiet that wasn’t quite silence but twice as heavy passed before a slow smile began to spread over Buggy’s face, and then—of all the bizarre, uncomfortable responses he could have—he laughed. “Oh, you’re broken, aren’t you?” he asked, clearly overjoyed by the revelation. “Well, I’m sold. I’ll have to start you on probation just in case you’re secretly up to no good. But, after that, you can audition for real. I’m sure I can find something you’ll be useful for.” 

His reaction gave you whiplash. The word ‘broken’ was obviously bad, but everything else was good. You had succeeded. Only, you didn’t know why. You were still trying to decide if being called cute-ish was a compliment or not. 

“Hey, just one more thing, okay?” Buggy asked, tapping your cheek. Standing mere inches away, he smiled a rictus grin. It wrinkled his eyes, but they were without life or pity or mercy. “If you’re lying to me about anything, I’ll carve some symmetry into your cute little face. You’ll thank me for it too. You won’t want to see what the guys will do to you after I toss you out there.”

“I’m not lying,” you said softly, shrinking back. “I promise.” 

“Great!” Buggy said, his demeanor immediately cheering up. “Let’s get you down.” He walked behind the board you were strung up on, and you let out a shaky exhale. “Brace yourself,” he called. You had no idea what that meant, or how you were supposed to brace yourself when there was nothing for you to brace yourself on. “Three… two…” 

He undid the lock, and the chains keeping you bound to the board went slack. You dropped hard, your limbs as heavy as lead. Luckily, your head was too light to feel anything when you hit the ground with a dull thump and the loud cacophony of rattling chains, spinning and blank and utterly empty. There was a suspended moment of floating, lighter than air itself. And then you were blinking rapidly and nauseous, pain shooting up your arms and knees. 

Buggy dropped a key in front of you, metal bouncing on the old concrete. 

“Unfortunately we didn’t bring any real props with us, so I had to improvise,” he said. With numb fingers, you grabbed the key and worked it into the locked cuff around your wrist. “You lucked out, if this were the real Wheel of Death, you’d be blowing chunks!” He paused, looking down at you. “Can you hurry this up?”

“Sorry,” you said. Your shaking hands kept missing the keyholes, but you finally got the last lock on your ankle open. The cuffs hadn’t broken skin, but your wrists and ankles were rubbed raw, ugly bruises already developing. You’d had worse.

“Alright, upsy daisy,” Buggy said, crouching down to take the key away and grab the only chain you hadn’t gotten out of—the one around your neck. 

It acted as a noose, giving you no other choice but to lurch upward with an unappealing choking sound, your head spinning all over again, the weightless itch tingling all the way down to the base of your spine. You stumbled forward, unintentionally falling against him. 

“Holy shit,” Buggy exclaimed, helping you stand up straight with a hand on your shoulder. “I didn’t know girls came in fun size. Legally, at least. Are you sure you’re not just like… the maxiest midget?” 

“‘m dizzy,” you muttered, swaying despite his support. 

“That’s not really… Ah, whatever. Hey, at least if you fall, you don’t have that far to go.”

“I’m… I’m okay,” you finally said, which was mostly true. Breathing slow, steady breaths helped, and then you shook your head a little. The bump on the back of it throbbed painfully, and you’d have bruises on your knees the size of apples, but you would survive. You were still trying to get control over your body. It was heavy and unwieldy, although part of that must have been the exhaustion. 

“If you need to vomit, make sure to aim away from me,” he said. That was about all the warning you got before he decided it was time to go, dragging you along behind him like a dog on a leash. 

You realized you were leaving your bandana behind, your left eye uncovered, and reared back, trying to stop him. “Wait, I have to grab my-” 

“No time,” he said, talking over you and tugging again at the chain. 

There was nothing you could do but stumble over your own feet to keep up with him as he led you through the cluttered and dark storage area. You felt a tiny bit of relief that you were still in the familiar decaying buildings northside. The old warehouses were dark, dank, and dingy. Easily defended and difficult to navigate, perfect for criminals to hide out in. You knew them very well, and that helped orient you.  

"As I’m sure you noticed, I’m running a bit of a skeleton crew here. The rest aren’t coming ‘til the grand finale,” Buggy said, leading you into the main warehouse space by the chain around your neck like it was completely normal. The awful smell of rot and decay was only compounded by a sickly sweet, chalky scent you didn’t recognize. Gray sunshine flooded in through the broken windows around the high ceilings, piercingly bright. “And after that, we’re gonna blow this town.”

You didn’t respond, growing even more skittish. The two of you drew the attention of the people scattered around. Some were lounging, others were training. All of them turned to look at you, watching with the dark, focused stare of hungry dogs. Colorfully dressed, very dangerous dogs. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, I have an introduction to make!” Buggy called in a loud enough voice to fill the large space. “Crew, new girl. New girl, crew. Make sure to give her a nice, warm welcome." None of them spoke or reacted, watching you with varying degrees of hostility. Buggy pulled you forward a few steps so he could whisper to you. “See that guy?” he asked, pointing to a bald man with square features and an especially dark glare. “That’s Ivo. He was the one who caught you. To be completely honest, I think he’s still a little angry that he didn't get to keep you. If I were you, I’d try to stay on his good side.”

“How?” you asked, your uneasy stomach sinking further, but Buggy was already preoccupied with something else. 

“Oh, hey-” he called, flagging down a woman who was leaning against one of the steel supports. You stumbled behind him, holding the chain around your neck to ease the pressure. “Crina, I have got a very important job for you.” 

The woman slowly looked from Buggy to you, giving you a weighty once-over with dark, kohl-lined eyes. Her clothes were different from the rest, draped with beads and loose and layered in shades of purple. Beneath the mystique, however, you felt the same hardness you recognized in all the pirate’s faces. “You want me to look after the little rat,” she said with an accent you didn’t recognize.

"God, it’s like you can read minds or something,” Buggy said, laughing. “Anyway, yes. Make sure she doesn’t get up to anything naughty while I’m gone. In fact, don’t let her out of your sight.” 

“With all due respect,” Crina said, “why not just kill her?” 

“Because I don’t want her dead,” Buggy snapped, suddenly irritated. If Crina was surprised or off put by the abrupt change of his mood, she didn’t show it. 

“Of course, captain.”  

“I thought I saw some cages over there,” Buggy said, gesturing vaguely and forcing the chain into Crina’s hand. “Stick her in one of those. In the back, away from any prying eyes.”  

“A cage?” you asked.

“As fun as it is to see you all chained up,” Buggy said. “I worry that it might send the wrong message. Out of sight, out of mind—I don’t need you distracting my crew. They’re planning a very big surprise party. If you behave, I might be able to find some time for you later. Sound good?” 

You nodded, almost surprised by how good that sounded. He ruffled your hair before turning away, barking orders to some of the men. 

“Let’s go,” Crina said, pulling your attention back to her. “We have our orders.”

The cage Crina put you in, one out of several bolted to the floor in the corner out of the way from the main space, had just enough room for you to sit slouched, or lay curled on your side, meant for big dogs or small humans. There was a market for both, and you knew that this warehouse had likely housed both. 

The old, dilapidated buildings had been out of use for a long time, as long as you could remember. Barley Village had been originally built to be close to the mineral deposits, but as those dried up and industry trended towards the water, southward expansion left all of the old buildings empty and rotting. There was always talk about tearing them down, but it was only ever talk. One time you were told that some people wanted to keep the buildings available to people who wished for some privacy. But when you asked your dad if that was true, he got angry, telling you that was a lie, that he would never let that happen. He said it would just be too expensive to take them down, and that there was really no point in it.

But he also told you to never, ever spend time northside. Of all of the rules he gave you, that was the only one you ever truly disobeyed. You had no idea how many times you had gotten in trouble for playing here, climbing up rusted stairs and crossing the support beams up by the ceiling, using rocks to knock out the jagged edges of broken glass from the windows so you could go onto the rooftops. Your health problems made it difficult, and sometimes impossible, but you were patient. Plus, that had been before the accident, when your coordination was still good.

Back then, you didn’t worry about the many dangers that lurked here, and you certainly didn’t believe you could be hurt. You were too entranced by the world you created for yourself. The only thing you worried about was the beatings you earned when you got caught. Dad used to tell you that if you kept disobeying him by going northside, you’d wind up locked in one of these cages—or worse. It took you a while to think of the word, because it wasn’t funny, but it also was. Ironic. It was ironic.

You couldn’t even imagine what kind of reaction he would have to what you had done now, what punishment you would earn. It would be bad. You knew it would be very bad. 

Better not to think about it. Falling unconscious after being hit on the head was the most you had slept for the previous two days. It was the level of exhaustion that you could be staring down the business end of a sword with indifferent, sleepy eyes. Being locked up was bad, very bad, but you were content to lay listlessly on your side.

At some point, you must have fallen asleep because you weren’t entirely conscious when somebody kicked the front of your cage. “Hey, wake up.” Your physical response was to startle, jolting you awake enough to flinch away from the violence. But it was only Crina who crouched in front of the cage. “I have food for you. And medicine for the headache. I’m going let you out, and I suggest you don’t try to run. If the guys get a hold of you, I won’t stop them.”

“I won’t run,” you told her, your voice hoarse, your eyes fixed on what she had brought. A bowl of something that looked like stew and a bottle. More than food, you wanted water. Crina undid the lock and you shuffled out of the cage. Your head spun just as badly as it had when you dropped onto the floor earlier, your vision crawling with darkness and stomach heaving unhappily. She was right about the headache. It wasn’t a pain you ever got used to, no matter how many days you spent laid out from one. After an uneasy moment, you sat on the floor, grabbing the water and eagerly uncapping it. 

“Hand,” Crina said, holding out a glass bottle. You allowed her to shake two capsules into your palm, tossing them into your mouth before taking in a blessedly wet mouthful of water. It soothed your tongue and throat like a salve, although you knew your stomach wouldn’t be quite so happy to receive anything. The stew’s scent alone made your stomach clench and churn with equal parts hunger and nausea. Slow. You had to take it slow. 

“Thank you,” you told her, picking up the bowl. She’d brought a wrapped sailor’s biscuit to eat it with. Not very appetizing, but you hadn’t eaten much more than you slept. It could have been saw dust and you would have been grateful. 

“I have your bag,” she said to fill the silence as you ate, pushing the limp canvas towards you. “They took anything that looked valuable, but your clothes are all there. They need to be washed. I’ll lend you something to wear in the meantime.”

Since your mouth was full, you nodded your thanks.

“While you eat, I’m going to talk. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to,” Crina said. “You don’t strike me as the talkative type.”

She didn’t say that in an accusatory tone, but it still caused your heart to skip with anxiety. The fear had to be irrational, it wasn’t as if you had lied to Captain Buggy, so what did you have to worry about? Besides, only the guilty feared scrutiny, that was a favored line of your dad’s. 

“There’s a man in town asking if anyone has seen a girl. Petite. Missing an eye. Mentally unwell. He’s concerned that she might have gotten lost somewhere,” Crina told you. “From what I gather, her father is a pillar of the community. They’re all very worried.” 

You averted your gaze, anxiously pulling your hair to cover your left eye. Of course Randall would be looking for you, although you had hoped you would have more time before he noticed your absence. It didn’t matter that you left in such a way to raise as little suspicion as possible, or that you were an adult, or that you didn’t want to be found. Your dad asked him to be your keeper while he was gone, and Randall did as your father said. Everybody did. 

“Finish your food,” Crina prompted. “It’s worse when it’s cold.” 

Right. You started eating again, your movements mechanical. She said nothing, and you had nothing to say. 

“Everybody has their reasons for turning to piracy, and they’re not always pleasant,” Crina suddenly said. “Unless it interferes with my own business, I don’t care about who you were and why you ran away. It was a stupid choice, I think you know that. I won’t try and convince you to leave. Buggy seems to like you, so you wouldn’t be able to go anyway. But you need to understand that there will be consequences. The life you had before, no matter how terrible, did not prepare you for the life you’ve thrown yourself into.”

You stared hard at the bowl, thinking about that. It was true, you had to accept that you had blindly stumbled into a world you knew nothing about. But what choice did you have? The things that led you to this point were arranged like the rusty, creaky rungs of a ladder scaling the side of a building. Climbing up had always been the easy part, it was the inevitable descent that gave you trouble. You had to go slow, one rung at a time, blindly feeling with your toes, holding on with sweaty fingers, not looking up and not looking down because once you were on the ladder, you could only keep going. The first rung was spotting the Buggy Pirates, which you only did because you were sulking around the docks after seeing your father off on his trip. You only recognized the crew because your dad kept track of pirate captains with significant bounties. You only had the courage to sneak away from your house because dad was too far away to stop you. You only had the ability to scope out Buggy’s temporary hideout because of how much time you spent northside when you were younger. Those things all connected and followed so naturally and you didn’t know if fate existed, but you knew for a fact that you wouldn’t have wound up here on your own volition. It wasn’t a choice you made, it was the only way to get down from the roof that you had been stranded on for so long.

“I’ll give you some advice,” Crina continued, her tone lighter, “and I suggest you listen. You’re young and pretty, and you wouldn’t be the first to try and use that to get an advantage. It might work for a while, but men will get bored and your looks will fade. Before long you’ll be spat out into a cheap whorehouse with a couple of children you can’t afford and a hell of a rash.” 

The whiplash from your thoughts to the conclusion she had drawn made your stomach twist with disgust. “No,” you said. Was that what she thought of you? Even if the idea was utterly ridiculous, shame rolled uncomfortable through you. “I would never—I could never ever do that.” 

“Don’t be naive,” Crina said, rolling her eyes. “The boys you’re used to are disgusted by that scar, but the kind of men you’ll meet from now on won’t be. If your low self-esteem dictates who you let between your legs, you’ll find yourself in the gutter. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t sleep with men to get an advantage if that’s an option, only that you must be smart about it.” 

You pulled your hair forward again, shaking your head clear of what she was saying. She didn’t understand. It wasn’t the assumption that men would be repulsed by your scar—which they would be, you knew that—but that you didn’t have it in you to invite or manipulate male attention. In so many ways you were already ruined, but to stoop down to letting other men touch you would be too far, it would destroy you.

“Assuming you live past tomorrow night,” Crina continued, “get a knife and figure out how to use it. The men aren’t going to accept you as a member of the crew until you prove yourself. So if anybody gets too close, you prove yourself with blood.” 

“Do you think they’ll try to hurt me?” 

“I think you look like an easy target,” she said. “And I know you have no concept of self preservation or defense.”

“Yes, I do,” you said, frowning. You had made it this far, after all. That was more than anybody would have thought of you. 

“You don’t,” she said plainly. “The tablets I gave you are for treating pain, but imagine if they weren’t. You didn’t so much as ask me to clarify what they were.” 

You opened your mouth to argue, and closed it, shame squeezing your throat. You hadn’t even thought about that.

“It might not matter anyway,” she said, “depending on Buggy’s reasons for keeping you.”

“What do you mean?” 

Crina gave you a long, pitying look and you could tell there was something she wanted to say, something she was holding back. Eventually she shrugged. “That is between the two of you.”

You wanted to push for more, confused by the cryptic answer, but you didn’t. You could tell by the hard look on her face that she wouldn’t tell you anyway. 

“One more thing. The most important thing,” Crina told you, leaning close so she could whisper. “Never, ever mention the captain’s nose. In fact, never mention noses at all.” 

“His nose?” you repeated softly. “Is it… is it real?” 

“What did I just say?” she asked sharply. “He killed a few of the last new recruits for saying something that sounded like nose while he was in a bad mood.”

“He… killed them?” you asked. 

“Buggy is a very temperamental man,” she said, leaning back. “Try not to get on his bad side.”

“It sounds like you don’t like him.” 

“I do, actually. God knows why. Are you finished?” 

“Yes, thank you.” 

“Come on then,” Crina told you, getting to her feet and dusting herself off. “There’s running water on the other side. I’ll keep watch so you can clean up.”   

Although birds called and the breeze carried all sorts of noises from Barley Village, none of it really reached the northside. A solemn graveyard hush settled heavy between the wreckage of ruined buildings, drafty even in broad daylight. No ghosts hid in the shadows, no historical tragedy marred its name, but there remained the haunted imprint of people who were no longer around. 

Before setting you on your task of the day, Crina had given you a dress of hers to wear while your own clothes dried in the sun. You swam in it, but a sash at the waist made the fit look somewhat intentional and the long sleeves hid the ugly bruises cuffing your wrists. That, combined with having slept the previous night and most of the day, left you feeling oddly refreshed. Sure, all of the sleep had been in a cage and the only ‘bath’ you had was a couple of minutes alone with a spout that spat freezing water and a washcloth, but it was better than yesterday. Better than the day before that too, save for the bruises and big goose egg bump on the back of your head.  

Despite the headache, you were glad to be given something to do. The task wasn’t difficult. Busywork that kept you out of the way. Checking to ensure that everything which would be loaded on the ship was documented, organized, and ready for transport. It wasn’t entirely unlike what you had done in the past and, you imagined, would be doing in the future. It was, however, the opposite way around. The goods were obviously looted, you were creating a list to know exactly what and how much of it had been stolen. 

Vinegar, oil, wax.

You used the end of the pen to scratch beneath your bandana, which Crina had kindly retrieved for you. Sometimes the scar got itchy, like it had when it was healing. 

Twine, needles, thread. 

There was a particular smell to supply crates like these. Something to do with the place they were stored, or where they were made. Even now, years since you had been on a ship, it was overwhelmingly familiar. It made your stomach ache and chest clench, although you weren’t sure which quality of the scent was so unsettling. 

You scratched the scar again.

Vinegar, oil- 

Wait, you had already done that. Annoyed, you crossed out those words and crouched down to get into the next crate. Rope. It was coiled in tight loops like a huge snake, coarse beneath your fingers. Anything that was strong enough to endure the fury of the sea had to be coarse. Good rope was vital on a ship, you knew that even with your limited experience. Touching it reminded you of the time your dad tried to show you how to tie knots, and then subsequently had to treat your rope burn.

What would he think when he returned? Retired Marine or not, he was deeply involved with northside business and law. Missing supplies, missing daughter. Sometimes you felt an acidic sort of pleasure when imagining his reaction to your absence, but usually it was just dread.

Or worse. Prickling paranoia. You could run, for a time. But that was all it was. Running. He used to be a Marine, it wouldn’t be difficult for him to find you. When you were younger, the thought gave you comfort. 

But you didn’t want to think about that. Not at all. Not ever again. You stared very hard at the rope, desperate to put those thoughts out of your mind. 

You stared and stared and stared and-

Somebody grabbed you around the bicep, dragging you to your feet and forcing you back to reality. Yelping in fear, you were nearly knocked back down from the bloodrush dizziness of standing up too fast, saved only by the crates. 

“Good god, girl,” the unfamiliar man said, taking a step back, clearly put off by your reaction. “Are you deaf or something? I hollered at you three or four times. Were you sleeping?” 

Putting a hand to your racing heart, you looked from him to the still open crate and the notepad you had abandoned mid-task. You had no idea how long you had been sitting there. Long enough for your foot to go numb, prickling with pins and needles now that you were standing up. 

“I’m sorry,” you told him.

“The captain wants to see you. It’s urgent,” he said. When you didn’t immediately respond, still orienting yourself, he sighed impatiently and grabbed your elbow, physically dragging you away. You stumbled to keep up, trying very hard to avoid falling. “If Buggy asks why you took so long, you better tell him it was your fault.”

“I will,” you said to appease him, attempting to shake off his hand before realizing that it was pointless. “Please slow down.” 

“Not my fault you’ve got stumpy legs,” he said. “Keep up.” 

The unfairness of that stung, but you didn’t have much choice. You had a feeling that he’d keep on pulling you along even if it meant dragging you across the ground. 

“Where are we going?” you asked, embarrassingly out of breath. 

“There,” he said, nodding to one of the waterfront buildings. At least it was close. You never strayed so close to the water, the buildings were too squat to make for fun exploration and too exposed to give cover. 

The pirate released you when you got to the door, leaving you winded and scared. You adjusted your bandana and tried to catch your breath. “Don’t forget to tell him it was your fault it took so long, not mine,” he said, opening the door.

“I won’t,” you promised, the words papery thin on your dry tongue.  

You were in trouble. You had no idea what you might have done, but there had to be something. Why would you be summoned like this otherwise? A very bad feeling pressed against your sternum, but you forced yourself to walk forward. The door shut behind you. Inside, the air was dark and cool and wet, sending a little shiver down your spine. 

Buggy stood in the middle of the room, the only place where the sun found its way between the mangled teeth of glass and steel that used to be windows, his own little spotlight amidst the ruins. There were three other men on the edges of the light, their backs to you. One of them was bound. You did not like this. 

“There she is!” Buggy exclaimed, inviting you forward with his arms spread wide. “Come on, don’t be shy. Especially not after keeping us waiting so long. Your friend over here could hardly handle the suspense. 

Rocks and broken glass crunched beneath your feet as you approached them. Once you got close enough, finally, you could see the faces of the other men. One was the square-featured, angry man Buggy called Ivo. Another, a man you didn’t know. And the third, the one bound with a busted lip and developing black eye—

Randall called your name, trying to escape and rush to your side. Ivo grabbed him, pressing the blade of his knife against his throat.

“See, I told you, they’re working together,” Ivo said, glaring at you. “She tipped him off. No doubt this place will be swarming with the law before long.”

You stood completely still, staring at Randall with the steadily rising tide of panic sloshing in your stomach. After everything you had done to misdirect him, the note you left to beg he didn’t follow, the trouble you had put yourself through to keep from being seen, he was still here. 

“Are you okay?” Randall asked, looking you up and down frantically, concerned in a way he never had looked before. “Did they hurt you?” 

“I told you, she’s fine,” Buggy said with a grin. “I mean, yeah, Ivo over there did give her a little knock on the ole noggin—a love tap, really—but the eye was already like that when we found her.” 

“I wasn’t asking you,” Randall said, glaring at Buggy. 

“Shut up,” Ivo said, pressing the knife close enough to Randall’s throat that it broke skin. 

“No, no, let him go,” Buggy ordered casually, waving his hand. “He’s not gonna do anything stupid.” He threw an arm around your shoulder. “Not when I’ve got her.” 

Ivo reluctantly complied, releasing Randall. He watched you intently, and you knew what he was thinking. How could he save you?  

“Ivo over there thinks that the two of you are working together,” Buggy told you, smiling. His arm was heavy around your shoulders, oppressively so. “He thinks that we should kill you both.” 

“I’m not—I wouldn’t,” you told him. 

“And see, I wanna believe you. I really do. But he’s not talking, and,” Buggy ran his finger over your right cheek, reminding you of his threat from yesterday, “I’m starting to worry you’ve been lying to me.”

“I’m not,” you said, ice cold dread dripping into your veins a drop at a time. You fought your discomfort and forced yourself to meet his eyes, hoping he could see your sincerity. “I promise I’m not.” 

“Then how did he find this place?” 

“I don’t… I don’t know…”

“She used to hide here when we were kids,” Randall answered. “I thought she ran away, not that you freaks had kidnapped her. If I had known I’d find pirates here, I would have come armed.”

“Is that true?” Buggy asked you, pulling you even closer. Close enough to be embarrassing, to give the wrong impression, especially when he was stroking your cheek with a sort of affection that didn’t mesh with the danger in his blue eyes.

“I told you it is. Let her go, clown!” Randall shouted. His voice was loud enough to echo, and harsh enough to make you wince. That sort of rage wasn’t one you expected from him, but it was familiar all the same. 

“Oh, wow,” Buggy said with a laugh, looking up at him. “Is that jealousy I hear? She didn’t tell me she was leaving behind a boyfriend.” 

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you said softly, your insides twisting at the thought. 

“Really?” Buggy asked. He shrugged, and looked at Randall. “If you’re not doing this because you want to have sex with her, why are you here?” 

“I am a dear friend—both to her and her dad,” Randall answered. “He asked me to look after her because she… She’s not in a sound state of mind. And she’s the only family he has left. Without her, he’ll have nothing.” He grit his teeth. “Take me, kill me if you’re that thirsty for blood, but let her go. Please.”

“You’re a real knight in shining armor. Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but she came here all on her own,” Buggy said, releasing you to approach him instead. “She begged to join my crew, got down on her knees and told me that she would be happy to serve me for the rest of her life. It was the most adorable thing.”

“No,” Randall said, his face twisting with disgust. “You’re lying. She wouldn’t do that.”

“Ask her yourself,” Buggy invited, stepping aside and sweeping out his arm. All eyes landed on you like a spotlight. Blood rushed in your ears, and you felt dizzy with it, ready to pass out on the spot. When you looked at Buggy, he smiled and nodded encouragingly. 

“It’s true,” you said.

“No. That is impossible,” Randall said. “This is insane. You are mad, you cannot make decisions like this for yourself.” You stared at his feet, your hands balled into fists. You were not crazy. You were not. That had to be true. “Whatever hysterics brought you here, give it up. These are pirates.”

“I’m a pirate too,” you declared, your hands forming fists at your sides. You weren’t crazy, or mad. You were thinking very clearly, more than you had in a while. 

“No, you are your father’s daughter,” Randall insisted, loud enough to make you flinch. “Can you imagine the agony he would feel hearing you say that?”

Your breathing was too fast, rapid enough to make your head spin. You kept shaking your head, tears flying off of your cheek, but you couldn’t recall when you had begun to cry. “I don’t care.” 

“Don’t care…? This bastard has already gotten into your head,” Randall said. “He has poisoned your broken mind with his lies and manipulations, please don’t let this go any further.”

You shook your head again, but there was nothing you could think of to say. You didn’t want to talk anymore, you just wanted this to be over. 

“Believe me, as much as I would love to claim otherwise, I had nothing to do with this,” Buggy said, raising his hands innocently. “You’ve got no one to blame but yourself. Think about what would drive a girl like this into the arms of a pirate. A broken heart, maybe? Was that your doing, lover boy? Did you break her heart? Make her feel like she wasn’t good enough?” 

“Keep your big goddamned nose out of our business, clown,” Randall said. 

The other pirates audibly gasped, and you could feel the sudden zap of tension in the air. Buggy’s taunting smile froze in place, his posture icing over like a statue. And then, a second later, he was rushing at Randall, burying his fist in the other man’s stomach. Randall crumpled onto his knees with a heavy grunt and you waited for something else, something worse. Crina said that Buggy had killed over jokes about his nose, and, right then, you believed it.

Nothing happened. You watched, frozen, as Buggy breathed in deeply, his shoulders rising and falling with it, and then he raised a hand.  

“New girl,” he called, snapping to beckon you closer. You obliged, rushing to his side. He didn’t look angry, not like you feared he would. Instead, he smiled. It was a mean smile, a frightening one. But a smile all the same. “Are you ready for your big moment?”   

“What?” 

“Your audition! I thought of the perfect act for you. Kill him.” 

You looked down at Randall, he was clearly still in pain, his eyes watering as he looked up at you. “I can’t,” you whispered, shaking your head again.  

“You can and will. Assuming you want to remain on my crew. Otherwise I’ll kill him and you’ll have to explain to daddy why prince charming was here in the first place.” He held out his hand towards Ivo. “Knife.” When he got it, Buggy flipped the knife handle first, holding it to you with a flourish. “You’re up, babydoll.”

“She won’t do it, clown,” Randall said through grit teeth. 

“Of course she will,” Buggy said. “For me.” 

As if moving through the dusky haze of a dream, you took the knife, wrapping your sweaty hand around the grip. The way Buggy smiled in response made your heart flutter, something to cling to amidst the horror and disgust. It didn’t feel real anymore. How could it be real? 

“I don’t know what to do.” Were those your words? Your voice?

Buggy laughed. “Of course you don’t,” he said, circling behind Randall. “C’mere, I’ll help you.” 

Randall was shouting and pleading, but Buggy had grabbed a fistfull of his hair to keep him from escaping. 

“You’ve gotta hold him still,” Buggy told you. “Like this, see?”  

“-don’t do this, please. You can’t… I love you!” 

You got a fistful of Randall’s hair, making him cry out in pain. There was no pleasure in the sound, only a roiling sense of disgust. It would be better when he was dead, and then he wouldn’t be in pain. 

“God you’re short,” Buggy said as he adjusted you into place, right between him and Randall. “You’ll be better off going for their ankles.” He wrapped his hand around yours, getting a good grip on the knife and holding it still. 

“-when he gets bored of fucking you. That’s all pirates do, rape and murder. You’ll never be one of them, you’ll just-”

“Start on one side and move to the other, easy as that,” Buggy said comfortingly, resting his chin against the side of your head. 

“-he doesn’t kill you, your dad will. Do you really think you’ll ever be able to hide from him?” 

Moving slowly, through a dream, you put the knife on the left side of Randall’s neck. It was no different from what a butcher did, really. 

Breath in. Pull. You instinctively locked up at the sound of Randall’s screams and the resistance of his flesh, but Buggy forced your hand, pulling the blade deep into his neck and then fast to the side. The knife got caught part way through, stuck in something hard. You tried to saw through it and Randall made an inhuman noise of agony. Buggy had to help you unstick it, to follow through until the knife slashed that horrifying scream short and then there was just a sort of gurgling sound and you didn’t know if it was because he was still alive or if it was an automatic process. 

There was so much blood, and it was hot, burning you. For some reason, you hadn’t anticipated the messy scarlet spray. From the deep slice came more blood. More, and more still. Randall’s heavy, limp body dropped onto the floor into a puddle of it, although you weren’t sure when you let go of his hair. Buggy released your hand, but you didn’t drop the knife, holding it in a death grip as blood streamed like red veins down your hand and wrist, down the blade and all the way to its tip before dripping to the dirty floor. The tang of iron filled your lungs. You shook all over, all the way down inside, your bones and organs shivering. It was your heart. It pounded frantically, like butterfly wings. And your breathing. Wheezing, gasping, gurgling like Randall’s had before he fell.

Your mouth opened to exhale, but there was nothing there. No air, no words. Nothing. Your cold gaze turned to look at Buggy, confused as to what you were supposed to do next. He had led you this far, but now you were lost. He smiled, and laughed, and took the knife away from you, tossing it to the side where it clanged and slid away. 

And then he folded you into his arms, your head pressed against his chest. His heartbeat was firm and steady, and he was so warm. He smelled of gunpowder and salty sea air and greasepaint and the natural warm scent of his skin. You clung to that, breathing in deep to excise the scent of blood. 

“Congratulations, babydoll,” Buggy told you. “Looks like you just got the part.” 

The first firecracker went off not long after the sun had gone down, kicking off the surprise party with an especially loud zip and then a bang and a bursting sizzle. “It’s a surprise party,” Buggy told you, his face illuminated by the flash of red. “As in, the people who live here are going to be so surprised by the party I’m throwing for my crew. Get it?” 

A chain of firecrackers followed the first, a show that the pirates set off amidst a barrage of explosions, lighting up the sky with brilliant colors and smoke, making the earth tremble beneath your feet. They acted as distraction and lure, drawing people further into the town and inviting the ship that had been lurking nearby to enter the harbor. 

And after that came the chaos. 

Many things happened that you were aware of, if only passively. Leaving the northside and then Barley Village, waiting at the dock, and then boarding the ship as men and women in colorful attire flooded the yard, overtaking the few armed guards. You were told to sit on the deck and wait, so you did. Aware of it all—noxious sulfur and smoke filling the air, thunderous claps of explosives, popping gunshots, screaming voices, roaring fires—but uninvolved. There was a sense of great quiet. Not outside where things were loud and violent and scary, but inside. You were very quiet on the inside. Far away from everything and everyone else. 

Blood flaked off of your skin, caking beneath the nails when you scratched your arm. It would have been nice to wash it off, but you didn’t know where you would go for that, and you didn’t want to get up.

“Yoo-hoo, is anybody in there?” 

A gloved hand waved in front of your face. 

You let out a hoarse scream, nearly tipping backwards from how violently you startled. It didn’t take long for you to realize how overblown the reaction was, Buggy’s laughter made the point quite clearly. 

“What was that?” he asked, almost laughing too hard to get the words out. He stood above you without his coat and hat, although he kept the striped headscarf, and a bottle tucked under his arm. 

“You scared me,” you told him, a hand on your racing heart.

“That noise you just made though,” he said, still laughing. “It sounded like one of those scream-y fireworks.”

“I didn’t know you were there.”

“Your fault, not mine. I was trying to talk to you, but you just sat there. I thought it was your eye that didn’t work, not your ears.”

“I guess I… zoned out a little.” 

“No shit. Ah, that was good,” Buggy said as his laughter subsided. “I had no idea human beings could even make sounds like that.” Letting out a big breath to settle himself, he sat down next to you. Very close, far closer than you would have, almost touching. “Kinda makes me wonder what other kinds of sounds you can make.” 

“I know, it’s annoying,” you said, staring hard at the deck. “I’m sorry.” 

Buggy laughed at that too, shaking his head. “You really have no clue, do you?” he asked. “Is it weird that I’m into it?” 

“Into what?” you asked. “I’m sorry, I… don’t understand.” 

“I know you don’t, and that’s okay,” he said with a mocking sort of indulgence, patting your head. “Anyway, I had a little business in town and snagged this from some rich guy’s house.” He held up a bottle by the neck and swished its contents a little for effect. “We’re going to celebrate.” 

“Wouldn’t you rather be out there?” you asked, the first coherent question that came to your mind as it scrambled to make sense of what he had just said. 

“Between you and me, this,” Buggy said with a confidential hush, gesturing to your burning town, “isn’t my thing. It’s a reward for my freaks, gives ‘em an outlet to express themselves artistically. I prefer a more… performative platform. True art deserves a spotlight and an audience.” He waved that away, smiling. “But this isn’t about me, it’s about you.” 

“Me?”

“You really impressed me earlier. I mean, yeah, your technique needs polish, and you’ve got no stage presence to speak of, but you displayed raw talent. I really think you have a shot at success, sweetheart. Stick with me, and I’ll make something out of you yet.” 

“Thank you,” you said softly, shying away from thinking about earlier. The praise though, that was heady. That made you feel warm. 

Buggy popped the cork off the bottle, taking a drink straight from it and smacking his lips appreciatively. “You like sweet things, right?” 

“I-” 

“You’ll love this then. Here, try it.” 

You eyed the bottle he was proffering to you warily. Alcohol was something you were familiar with, but you could count on your fingers the number of times you had actually tasted it. “I don’t know…” you said, trying to think of ways to reject drinking without seeming ungrateful.   

“You’re a pirate now, so you’ve gotta learn to drink like one,” Buggy told you, pushing it into your hand. “What’s the worst that could happen?” 

You sniffed the open lip, surprised by the sweetness. It didn’t smell as strongly of alcohol as you feared. Not like what your father drank. Maybe it would be okay. Trying to avoid embarrassing yourself, you tipped the bottle back just like he had. That was a mistake. It didn’t smell like alcohol, but you could taste it—feel it, even. Panicked by your body’s natural response to expel it, you swallowed as much as you could, coughing out the rest. Red liquid drooled down your chin, staining the dress that was already ruined with dried blood. Buggy laughed. A little at first, and then a lot. 

Flushing, you wiped your mouth.

“Oh, don’t be like that. That was hilarious,” Buggy told you. You looked away, even more embarrassed. “Your face was priceless. You threw that back with the confidence of a real fire-hazard, saggy skinned, dead eyed alcoholic. You were so serious about it too, and then… Good lord.”

“I didn’t know!” you said, trying and failing not to sound shrill. 

“It’s okay, you’ve got me to help you now. Try it again, but don’t be so greedy. Baby sips.” 

“No, thank you,” you said, holding the bottle back to him. 

“Drink. That’s an order,” he said, pushing it back to you. 

That gave you pause. “Do you mean that?” you asked. 

He nodded, urging you on. 

Your shoulders drooped in defeat. Trepidatiously, you took a small sip. At least you didn’t hack it back up this time. While the taste was sweet, the burn was not. It rose up like smoke into your head, you could feel it.  

“What if I get drunk?” you asked. 

“Oh, you’re going to get drunk, captain’s orders,” Buggy said with a grin. “I can’t stand watching you sit around moping about killing that guy. Besides, you’re a pirate now.”

The little ball of anxiety deep in your gut doubled. This was wrong, you knew it was. Or maybe you were wrong, and Buggy was right. You didn’t know. 

“I don’t want to embarrass myself,” you muttered.

“As long as you don’t jump into the water or shit yourself, you’ll be fine…” You looked at him, horrified. “Joking! C’mon, I’ve taken good care of you so far, haven’t I? You’ll be fine.”

The way he laughed made you want to believe him. He was your captain now. You nodded seriously and, steeling yourself, took another drink. And another. 

“See? It’s good, right?” Buggy asked, holding out his hand for the bottle. 

You licked your lips, cleaning up the lingering sweetness. “It is. Thank you,” you said, unable to keep yourself from admiring the way his throat worked as he swallowed, the view unfortunately obscured by his cravat. 

The perverse thought took you by surprise. Was it the alcohol? Already, your head was spinning, your thoughts a little more disorganized. It wasn’t like the quiet, empty feeling of before. It was warm and distant, it made your shoulders relax, the anxiety and uncertainty of before fading. This was a good idea, you already felt so much better. When he passed the bottle back, you didn’t have to be prompted to imbibe, chasing that feeling.   

“I don’t mean to pry, but when that guy back there mentioned your dad, it really seemed to get to you,” Buggy said. “What, did daddy not love you? Or maybe he loved you a little too much.”

You didn’t want to talk about that. You didn’t want to think about it. You took another big drink. 

On the horizon, the town was utterly ablaze. As the night grew darker, the flames rose higher. Which building was burning so brightly? It belched thick, black smoke into the night sky. Who was in it? Anybody you knew?

“Don’t wanna talk about it, hm? That’s fine,” Buggy said, stealing the bottle back. “With any luck, my freaks’ll kill him tonight, eh? Then you’ll really be free.” 

“He’s gone right now,” you said, your words soft and slurring together. “Out of town.” What would he think of the smoldering ashes? Would he believe you had perished in the flame? Somehow, you doubted that. He would know what you had done. There was no chance of freedom, not for you. 

“That’s even better,” Buggy said.  

Your eyebrows furrowed as you turned to him, both in confusion and disbelief. “How?” 

“Because, babydoll,” Buggy told you, shaking your shoulder to make sure you were paying attention. “It’s good to have somebody to hate—somebody to prove wrong. He tried to convince you that you’re crazy, he tried to keep you from ever being yourself. That pain and anger made you weak. But you’re not weak anymore. Tonight, I showed you how to be strong. It’s not enough to tell those assholes that they’re wrong, you have to prove it to them. That’s what tonight was about, right? You proved to your dad, to everybody, that you’re stronger than they thought. And, hey, you proved it to me, too. I wasn’t sure about you at first, but I changed my mind.” He threw an arm around you, pulling you close. “I like you, kiddo. A lot.” 

“I like you too,” you said, relaxing into the little side hug, very aware of every place his bare arm met your bare shoulders and neck. The alcohol had stoked a nice blaze in your stomach and chest, making your head spin in a way you didn’t mind that much. Smoothing the colors, softening the air, making you want to lean into his touch, made you crave more of it. 

Buggy pulled away, leaving the bottle in your hands. You felt a little cold without him.  

“You know,” he said, smiling at you. The far off flames glinted mischievously in his eyes. The flaring reds and oranges highlighted his cheekbones too, defined the sharpness of his jaw. You were caught off guard by how viscerally you reacted to the thought that he was handsome, your filterless mind caught in an endless loop of focusing on the fact. “Burning down this shithole is nothing compared to what I will do. The towns I’ll raze to the ground, the treasure I’ll steal, the shows I’ll put on. Now that I’ve got a crew, I’m gonna put on a show like nobody’s ever seen. The biggest, flashiest, greatest show ever. Everybody will be screaming my name, recognize my face. I’ll shine so bright that they’ll have no choice but to love me. ” 

Buggy’s intensity made you smile, you couldn’t help it. Alcohol had created a cloudy burst of affection within you, or maybe it was just the floodgates of tension finally collapsing, letting out something that would have otherwise been smothered. Either way, it was as intoxicating as the drink itself. 

“Are you laughing at me?” Buggy asked, his tone filled with steel. You looked to see his dark expression, his narrowed eyes. 

“I’m not,” you said, confused by his rapid shift in demeanor. “I’m… I’m happy. I’ll do anything to help you.” 

He relaxed. “Well, you’d better start working on your act.” 

That made you laugh, a dizzy, bubbly sound. “I can’t do an act. I wouldn’t know what to do.” 

“There has to be something. Let me think… Can you sing?”

“I used to, a little. But not for a really long time.” 

“Come on, let me hear it.”

You were drunk, you knew that for a fact because in no state of sobriety would you offer to sing in front of another person. But, right then, bubbling with alcohol and protected by the darkness of the smoky night sky, you felt invincible. 

“Oh, what do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor, early in the morning? Slash his…um… something, something, captain’s daughter. Toss him in… to… the dirty water…” Whatever coherence you held onto unraveled into a fit of drunken laughter at the awful rhyme. “I’m sorry, I think… I think I forgot some of the words.”  

“Seems like you forgot the tune too,” Buggy said, wincing dramatically. All that did was make you laugh harder. “Hold on a second, let me wipe the blood out of my ears.” 

You swatted his shoulder, although your attempted indignance probably wasn’t very convincing when you were still smiling. “Don’t be mean!”

“That’s a bold way to treat your captain,” he told you, but he was smiling too. 

“Please don’t be mean to me, Captain Buggy,” you said, speaking slowly to emphasize how serious you were. 

“Beg me again.” 

You blinked. “What?” 

“Nothing,” he said, waving it off in a way that made you think he was making fun of you. “Anyway, I’m being nice right now, especially after that performance. The critics would eat you alive for that one. So, singing is out. Clearly. What else have you got?”

“Oh! I know a, um, a rhyme. A joke.” 

He looked at you skeptically. “Really?” 

“What is that s’posed to mean?” you asked.

“You don’t strike me as somebody with… How should I put this… A sense of humor?” 

You frowned. 

“Alright, alright, quit pouting and tell me,” Buggy said impatiently, waving you to continue. 

You cleared your throat very theatrically, sitting up as straight as you could manage. 

“There was a young lass who thought

Very little but thought it a lot.

Then at long last she knew

What she wanted to do,

But before she could start, she forgot.”

Deflating, you laughed, surprised at how clearly you had delivered the words. Especially considering how long it had been since you heard them. 

Buggy didn’t look nearly as impressed. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever heard a clean limerick before,” he said. “And now I know why. I mean, what’s the point of limerick without the ick.”

You blew a raspberry at him. “Fine, you do one.”

“Okay, but you have to prepare yourself,” Buggy said. You nodded encouragingly.

“There was a young plumber named Lee

Who was plumbing his girl by the sea.

She said, ‘Stop your plumbing,

There's somebody coming’

Said the plumber, still plumbing, ‘It's me.’"

Belatedly, you gasped, your hands covering your mouth. That shock dissolved into giggles. “That’s, oh, that’s… that’s dirty.”

“Aw, was it too much for your delicate sensibilities? Now that you’re a pirate, you’re gonna hear a lot worse than that. A looooooooot worse. I hope your unspoiled ears can handle it.”  

“I can!” you insisted, taking a big drink to steel yourself before setting the bottle aside. If you were going to be a pirate, you had to stop getting so flustered. “More. Please.” 

“Okay, okay…” Buggy cleared his throat. “A hooker roaming the East Blue, 

Once filled her vagina with glue, 

She said, with a grin, ‘Well, they paid to get in, 

And they’ll damn sure pay to get out, too.’”

You laughed loudly, as much at the joke as the taboo nature of it. You laughed, and then giggled in a bubbly, drunken way that you knew was too loud and embarrassing. “That is icky,” you told him. “Jeez, that’s…” Your faux seriousness dissolved into a fit of giggles again and you leaned against him for stability. “What would you even do?” 

“Yeah, I don’t know. It sounds like a sticky situation,” he said, nudging you with his elbow. That, of course, sent you into another fit of giggles. 

“I’m sorry, I’m…” you said. “I think I’m drunk.” You looked behind yourself at the town, the glittery haze of joy buzzing in your head fading at the sight. It was horrific, wasn’t it? And here you were, laughing like a fool. You couldn’t really comprehend the magnitude of it all, even if you could acknowledge that it was terrible. “Is it okay?” you asked, looking back at him imploringly. “Everything that happened tonight… I thought I would feel very different after, but I don’t. It almost feels like it’s not even real. You ever get that? When things happen but they feel so impossible that you get confused?”

“If you can think that clearly,” Buggy said, “then you’re not drunk enough. Bottoms up, babydoll.” You smiled at his use of the pet name and the fluttery feeling it gave you. What else could you do but oblige, tipping the bottle back like before. Only, unlike before, you kept it all down. There wasn’t any real burn, just more sweetness, more warmth. 

And then there was nothing left. 

“Woah,” you said, lowering the empty bottle and wiping your mouth. “‘s all gone.”

“And how do you feel?” he asked. 

You opened your mouth to respond, but all that came out was a dizzy sort of laugh. “I dunno…” you said, closing your eye, trying to collect your thoughts. “I’m…” Already things were getting even more fuzzy and foggy. Fabric stuck to your flushed skin, the salty air drying across your chest and cheeks. “I feel… very…”

Making an upset noise in the back of your throat, you pushed your hair back, catching the bandana and pulling it off so you could feel the breeze on your whole face. That helped. Drawing in a deep breath, you looked at him, trying to focus. Only, the second you saw him, all you could do was smile. His eyes were greedy about the light, sparkling with it. Even with the nose, Buggy was handsome. That was not something you could tell him though, not at all ever. Unfortunately you had forgotten what you were saying in the first place. 

“Very… what?” Buggy asked. “‘Cause if you keep trying to be a buzzkill, I’ll give you something to laugh about.”

Were you a buzzkill? You couldn’t remember what you had said or done to earn that title. It was hard enough to comprehend what was happening in the moment. “Like what?” you asked.

“Like… this!” Buggy said, using the sash around your waist to pull you closer so he could tickle your sides. You jumped and squealed, the bottle rolling out of your hands as you tried to fight him off. 

“No no no, don’t,” you cried, trying to escape. You were being too loud, moving too much, acting like an idiot, but you didn’t have enough control to stop. 

“Why not?” he asked. “You’re laughing, aren’t you?” 

It was true, you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing, letting it out in panicked little bursts. Time had a bizarre elasticity to it, everything hitting you at once and fading just as fast. Laughing, sobbing, begging him to stop. It was easy to catch and hold onto one of his hands, but that left the other one free. And if you tried to catch that one instead, you had to release the first. There must have been a better way to do it, but you felt as if, bit by bit, particle by particle, the world was separating, the hot and humid air splitting, your limbs becoming loose, your capacity for rational thought dissipating like mist. 

Lacking any sort of control and with a completely undeserved sense of invulnerability, you tackled him. Buggy let it happen, still laughing. At least he had stopped. 

“God, it’s like being attacked by a drunk, one-eyed toddler,” he said. “What are you gonna do, whine me into submission?” 

“Don’t be mean,” you said seriously, your words ruined by something wavering between a laugh and a sob, or maybe it was just the drunken slur. 

“You attacked me. If anything, I'm the victim here.” 

“No! You started it!” 

“Hold on, are you… crying?” Buggy asked incredulously. “Aw, you poor thing. I mean, you were laughing so much, how could I have known you didn’t like it?” 

“I don’t!” you insisted. 

“To be clear,” he said. “You don’t like this?” He attacked your sides, not tickling so much as just teasing, but to the same effect. You yelped and sat up squirm away, swatting at his hands. 

Rather than laugh like before, Buggy groaned, his hips bucking up against you. A loud, harsh gasp left your mouth, your entire body going rigid from the liquid heat of friction, your thighs squeezing around him. At some point, your skirt had ridden up, your panties being the only barrier left. You didn’t think you had ever been as acutely aware of how achingly empty, electrically tingly, as you were right then. 

Bad. Very bad.

“Oh, there’s another fun noise,” Buggy said, laughing as he propped himself upright with his arms. “I can’t believe that got you.” 

“No,” you said quickly, dizzy from the intensity of your reaction and how close the two of you were. You could smell him, the sweat, the musk, the salt, the greasepaint, the gunpowder. You could see the glitter in his makeup, the fire catching in his eyes. “It jus’... surprised me.” 

“Is that why you’re shaking?” Buggy asked, rubbing your exposed thigh, the fabric of his glove catching the sensitive skin. 

“I’m… um…” Your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to organize the drunken slush of your brain. Being so close to him, feeling his body against yours, sent deviously tantalizing tingling sparks through you. And guilt. It was wrong, he wasn’t doing anything to invite those feelings, you were just being weird and drunk and embarrassing and you couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to kiss him. You’d have to tilt your head a lot, although the stubble would be more hazardous than his nose. The last time you kissed someone, you were both young enough that you didn’t have to navigate facial hair. And then there was the matter of the makeup. You tried to imagine what you might look like after, the slash of red and imprint of white. Maybe they’d mix into pink. You tried to force yourself to focus on something else, but you couldn’t meet his eyes either. Nervous and confused and filled with a million different feelings you had no name for, you squirmed again, thoughtlessly adding to the anxious feedback loop of heat and need and intoxicated emptiness. 

“You know, sweetheart, this reminds me,” Buggy said, “there’s still the matter of your physical. It’s standard procedure for new crew. We could get that over and done with while you’re… lubricated.”

“What’re you… talking about?”  

“I’ve gotta make sure you’re fit, healthy… Clean of anything you could pass on to the forty or so people you’re gonna be stuck with in an enclosed space for weeks at a time.”

“How d’you do that?” 

“You’ve been to a doctor, right? It’s kinda like that. I know it can feel a little invasive, so it might be better to do it while you’re drunk.”

“What…” you started to ask, but then Buggy shifted, his hips pushing up against you. The fresh wash of warmth it sent into your core scattered your mind, and you lost the already tenuous thread of thought. Your eyelashes fluttered, although you weren’t sure when you had closed your eye. “Umm…”

“Well, first,” he said, answering the question you hadn’t asked, “you’d have to take off your clothes. Then relax while I have a little look-see. It’s important that you stay as still as possible. I’ll have a hard time finishing if you can’t stop squirming around the whole time.” 

“Do you really have to?” you asked, your brow furrowing. It sounded embarrassing. But maybe if it was him, you didn’t mind? Your dad did all of your past medical check-ups so it wasn’t inherently wrong. But the thought of Buggy seeing you without clothes wasn’t exactly nice, you could only imagine his disgust. That was bad. 

“Depends on if you’re serious about being a pirate or not,” Buggy said.   

“I am serious!” you exclaimed. Your hands went to the sash around your waist to pull the bow free. If you did it quickly, you wouldn’t be as embarrassed. 

“Woah, wait. Holy shit,” Buggy said, “are you seriously—” He cracked up laughing, making you freeze. “I didn’t think you’d actually fall for that.”

“You’re… laughing,” you said, your fingers falling with the slow sink of humiliation. 

“You really were going to strip for me, out in the open and everything.” Buggy laughed harder, rocking forward. “I didn’t expect you to be so eager. Hey, if you really wanna get naked, I’m not going to stop you.” 

“I don’t, I just… I thought…” you said, pulling away from him and trying to get onto your feet to get away, embarrassment lighting the worst sort of fire within you.  

“Woah, calm down, it was just a joke,” Buggy said, his laughter fading. “You’re absolutely plastered, if you stand up, you’re gonna fall right back down.” You didn’t stop, resolute to get onto your feet and put some distance between you and him. “I won’t catch you.” 

“’m fine,” you told him. 

You finally got your footing and braced against your knee to lurch upright. For a second, you were standing up and weightless. And then you were nothing.

[whumpofalltime]

friends, enemies, lurkers, we've made it to the

Whump Of All Time Finals!

What's the whumpiest whump of all time? Help us decide!

Find links and propaganda under the cut. Quarterfinalist and later match-ups are untagged, so your votes and reblogs matter! Make sure you click through to the main blog to find the run-off poll to crown third place, as well!

ROTK:

(spider attack, rescue)

"The Lord of The Rings, when Frodo gets bitten by a giant spider and left for dead by Sam at the end of The Two Towers, and then when Sam finds him in The Return of the King being held prisoner and whipped by an orc."

The Young Blood Chronicles (Save Rock and Roll's music videos, Fall Out Boy):

(link)

"Everyone gets bloodied, bruised, beaten up, tortured, rescued, limbs are amputated - it's brutal. Alone Together is particularly strong."

sorry for being late, but you want YBC propaganda? then you're getting YBC propaganda. I know you're a FOB fan, but I will be writing this for the benefit of those who don't know what YBC is, for better propaganda purposes! and yeah this is gonna be LONG. sorry.

So! The Youngblood Chronicles (shortened to YBC) is a series of 11 music videos made by the band Fall Out Boy, for their album Save Rock And Roll (you know this album, it's the one with My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark on it). The whole thing is quite short, less than fifty minutes long (even shorter if you don't count the uncut version's credits!!), and every single music video has some element of whump in it. This propaganda is gonna break down each individual music vid, and at i'll also talk a little bit about the irl context the album was written in, and why even THAT can be a little bit whumpy if you're insane like me!

(note: i'm going in the original release order over the uncut order, hence why i'm starting with MSKWYDITD instead of The Phoenix)

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark: Arguably the least whump-y out of all of them, but man, seeing all of Fall Out Boy's discography and memorabilia be burnt while people are dancing around the destruction? Man, when you know the real life stuff (the reception the band had in 2009, leading to them to take a three year hiatus)... and at the end, you see four guys bound in the back of a van!! And that van is getting burnt!! Burn everything you love and burn the... ashes.

The Phoenix: NOW here's the first of MANY whump tastes you'll get. Patrick Stump, the singer/cutie of the band, gets kidnapped, tied to a chair, has his hand CHOPPED OFF and mailed to his bandmate/best friend Pete Wentz, then gets tied down and utterly tortured by women who are laughing at his misery the entire time, getting prodded and stabbed by tools for... well, you'll see. By the end of the video, Pete and the other two members of FOB (Joe Trohman and Andy Hurley) have been kidnapped by these mysterious women too, with Pete specifically getting kidnapped by the blonde woman he was in bed with when Patrick's hand got delivered to him. If you enjoy cute boys getting tied down, covered in blood, and writhing around like worms while getting tortured... well you'll enjoy all of YBC but specifically you'll enjoy this!! I did :D! The war is won, before it's begun, release the doves, surrender love...

Young Volcanoes: Good news, FOB has been reunited! Bad news, by the women who dismembered Patrick! And now all the band members are tied to chairs, hooked up to IVs full of god knows what types of drugs, and blindfolded (all except Patrick). They are then forced to drink, snort hard drugs, and are force fed Patrick's organs! Yep, all four of them are forced to eat their lead singer's guts, and are so fucking drugged up they don't even realize what's happening (and now you know what the women were doing to him in the last mv, and you even get a nice little shot of the hack job of stitching him back up)!! Patrick hallucinates everyone having fun, but of course, at the end, all of them are knocked out because of the drugs. Americana, exotica, do you wanna feel a little beautiful baby?

Alone Together: This is the song the OG propaganda mentioned, and for good reason. All four of them are shipped off into little personalized torture rooms, and, well, tortured! Pete is able to break out and even steals the hook from the girl who was torturing him, but little does he know that'll be his own undoing... also, in general, this song has some whumpy elements, specifically the line "my heart is like a stallion/they love it more when it's broke-in"... but notice how easy it is to hear "broke-in" as "broken"! At the end of the video, Pete is at least able to find Patrick (Joe and Andy have NOT been having a good time, either!! But sadly, they aren't found by Pete, but Pete DOES find Big Sean), and is even able to attach the hook to the stump (ha!) where his hand used to be. But something is clearly wrong with Patrick now. His eyes are yellow, and as the song ends, we hold on him, sneering and twitching. This is the road to ruin - and we're started at the end...

The Mighty Fall: First off if you say this is the worst song off of SRAR I will hunt you for sport. OKAY ANYWAYS, chronologically this comes after MSKWYDITD, and yeah, the four guys are the members of FOB. Pete is able to free himself with Patrick's new hook hand, and is able to get the other three out while Pete is hacking up a lung from the fire they just barely escaped. But they're not done getting their shit rocked yet. A gang of children show up (the leader being the kid Patrick waved at right before he was kidnapped back in the Phoenix MV), and proceed to separate them and beat the living shit out of them. The leader kid who's chasing Patrick plays something on a boombox... which triggers Patrick to go yellow-eyed again (from here on out i'll call it "going Youngblood" or "Youngblood self"). It was confirmed in the commentary track that ANY music would cause him to go Youngblood. And knowing Patrick IRL fucking loves to create/compose music... yeah! Take something he loves and turn it into something that drives him insane!! I'm normal!! And also the irl parallel you could draw to his solo career doing the same thing to him (on a less uh Dramatic level but you know)!!! Ouch!!!! Big Sean is able to save Patrick, but at the cost of his own life (and a killer rap verse... HELL YEAH I'M A DICK GIRL, ADDICTED TO YOU). Oh, how the mighty fall in love...

Just One Yesterday: The last vestiges of comfort you're gonna get for a WHILE. The four are separated, getting even more beaten up, Pete vomits up a snake, Andy gets his shit rocked by a homeless guy, Joe has to use white sheets as a makeshift tourniquet bc his leg got fucked up in The Mighty Fall MV, and Patrick is picked up by a kind stranger (hi Foxes! you have a very pretty voice! PLEASE KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE STEERING WHEEL!). And finally, finally we get a hope spot. Fall Out Boy is reunited (the part where Andy just grabs onto Patrick's arm, in disbelief they're both alive... augh!!! AUGH!!!!), and for a moment, it seems they've been delivered to a hospital... before Foxes' eyes go completely black, looking at Patrick... and turns on the radio. She's able to trigger the Youngblood. And now Patrick is gone. The other three scramble into the hospital, Patrick not far behind, determined to kill them to stop the noise in his head. If Heaven's grief brings Hell's reign, then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday...

Where Did The Party Go: Patrick, now fully consumed by the Youngblood brainwashing, is now stalking his bandmates in a hospital. Patrick is seeing visions of the hospital as an abandoned party, Andy has to painfully disinfect the wounds he's gotten, Pete is able to call for the police, and Joe... oh, poor Joe. He barricades himself into a room, but not well enough. Patrick finds him, and kills him, slitting his throat with the hook hand, showing no remorse at all... until Andy and Pete find them. The Youngblood wears off, and Patrick looks to what he's done, and is horrified at what he's done to his friend. And, bad news for him, the police are here, ready to arrest the murderer. All Andy and Pete can do is watch as tears roll down Patrick's eyes. And for the extra IRL context, this was the first song written for the album that made Pete and Patrick realize they had to get FOB back together... so lets match that with a music video where the member who helped get the band together in the first place dies. By the hands of the kid he found. Let's fade away together, one dream at a time...

Death Valley: Joe gets... uh, a little comfort? I mean, he thinks he's getting sent to heaven but goes to hell, buuuuut I think doing drugs in rock and roll hell with Tommy Lee is actually a pretty sweet deal, better than the deal the other three got! Pete and Andy are being interrogated while Patrick is in a jail cell. We find out that the cult that kidnapped them, Silence the Noise, is lead by Pete's girlfriend from WAAAAY back in the Phoenix MV, Courtney Love. And at the end of the MV... Patrick is bailed out of jail by Silence the Noise. They have him again. And this time, they're not gonna let him walk out until he's fully under their control. 'Cause tonight it's just fire alarms and losing you...

Rat a Tat: Silence the Noise has Patrick, and they utterly brainwash him, A Clockwork Orange style, with electroshock stimulation to keep him from looking away or closing his eyes, until there is nothing left. Patrick Stump does not exist anymore. Only the Youngblood, pliant under the control of Silence the Noise, tasked to destroy what he once loved; music. Andy dies at the hands of the cult, and now Pete has to protect a briefcase, the thing that got them into this mess, and keep it away from Silence the Noise, all while his best friend hunts him down. Are you ready for another bad poem?

Miss Missing You: THE WHUMPIEST OF THE WHUMP. What if we were best friends but you've been driven insane and I know the only way to stop you is to kill you and it was my fault you got into this mess and I was the one who gave you the weapon that will be my own undoing. What if we both died at the same time. What if we died, both of us failing the mission we had before us. What if that was a reference to one of their first music videos. What if this song was originally written for Patrick's solo album but he realized it was more of a Fall Out Boy song so it was scrapped until now. What if there's a legit argument to be made that half the lyrics for this song was written by Patrick. What if we were both boys. Grips walls, yeha i'm normal. If you don't watch ANY other music vid, watch Miss Missing You. Sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger. The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger.

Save Rock And Roll: And our final track gives us a final bit of comfort. Patrick is able to overcome the Youngblood, and gets into heaven, where all of FOB is finally, finally reunited. God (aka Elton John) gives them new instruments and brings them back to earth, so they can do what they love; play music together. Which just so happens to release people from the control of Silence the Noise! But, because we can't have nice things, a cult within Silence the Noise got a hold of the briefcase, and summoned a spirit that starts to kill everyone. FOB stands together, and blasts the evil spirit, the blood coming up to the gates of heaven and covering Elton John in it. And... that's how it ends. No true resolution. Just Elton John covered in blood, as the song fades out. Oh, no! Wherever I go, go! Trouble seems to follow! I only plugged in to save rock and roll!

UH. AGAIN I APOLOGIZE FOR THE LENGTH. but i really wanted to express just how much WHUMP they manage to fit into less than fifty minutes, all backed by an amazing album colored by the three years they were apart. colored by how they grew, colored by how bad the hiatus was for Patrick specifically, colored by how Confessions of a Pariah got Pete to reach out to help him, and this album came out of it, Fall Out Boy came back out of it, and now here we are, ten years later, with the title track being performed every night for their concert, with all the band singing the final lines together, and the line you are what you love, not who loves you hitting every single night.

SORRY. LISTEN TO FALL OUT BOY. thanks for letting me rant.

[stuffnonsenseandotherthings]

CityBoy_Log: Blurring the Lines Between Fiction and Reality.

I was doing my daily scroll through YouTube one day when a thumbnail (this thumbnail) caught my eye:

Now, at first glance I'll admit there's nothing exceptional about it. In fact, it's so perfectly run of the mill that I actually thought it was a vlog from a new K-pop band that I hadn't heard of before at first. The name, the picture they chose, the title.... all of it checked out and I had no reason to be suspicious that it was anything other than it seemed.

Anyway, I was bored, it had been a while since YouTube had recommended me anything K-pop that wasn't a group I was already subscribed to and I was feeling nostalgic for a good K-pop vlog.

It was only 5 minutes

What harm could it possibly do?

So I clicked on it.

And then I feel down a rabbit hole.

CityBoy_Log: The Drama

So it turns out that "CityBoy_Log" is not, in fact, a K-pop group's travel vlog series, nor is it a vlog series at all...

Well, it is...

But not really.

It's actually an 11 episode BL drama.

Summary:

Idol Lee Jae Jun, model/actor Lee Ji Han, actor Seo Byuk Joon, and rookie model Ahn Hyo Sang start a vlog channel about their trip to Okinawa, Japan for a photoshoot. The four meet for the first time (aside from JaeJun and Byuk Joon, who are longtime friends) when they learn they will be sharing a home during the trip. Though Ji Han's introduction caused some tension within the circle, the group's feelings towards each other start to change and grow as they keep vlogging. The vlogs show how their individual friendships develop by the end of their stay and after coming back to Seoul, some even beyond just platonic. (Mydramalist)

On the face of things, "CityBoy_Log" is a pretty straight forward drama (some might even call it mundane). Four friends navigating their relationships with each other on a trip. There's a main couple and a side couple and plenty of pining and love squares to keep the audience and the characters on their toes. Really nothing standout in a world where Semantic Error, Love for Love's Sake, and Eighth Sense exist, right?

Except the format.... the format is something else.

Because when the summary says "the vlogs", it really means the vlogs.

"CityBoy_Log" is a BL drama told entirely in character.

Like your typical k-vlog, the majority of the content comes from hand-held cameras carried about by the characters, only occasionally interspersed with aesthetic shots from their "camera crew". The characters talk openly to the audience, updating them on what's going on and what they're thinking and feeling; transitions between scenes are choppy and periods of time are missed due to "unfilmable" moments that we either only catch glimpses of or are told about later (or in some cases, have to fill in the blanks ourselves); dialogue is choppy and sometimes even awkward (especially as they're still getting to know each other) and voice cracks, nonsensical lines, and awkward pauses are all over the place.

It is feels messy, lightly edited, unscripted, and, for the most part, very very real.

Blurring the Boundaries Between Fiction and Reality.

Seeing how far the creators of the show have gone to make this drama feel realistic is fascinating. All the episodes are posted as vlog episodes on the show's YouTube Channel, they post additional shorts that follow the latest trends, and even have celebratory lives where they talk to fans. And all of this is done in character.

They also have an Instagram page and on MDL there is very little information about the actors (who use their real names for their characters) and no information about the team behind the scenes (although I suspect they're linked to whoever made Semantic Error because that show gets name dropped a lot and they even "audition" for the upcoming drama made by it's creators) .

Given how much effort has gone into making "CityBoy_Log" pass as real it shouldn't be surprising that there are quite a few people who believed it was real for a time.

Now personally I am a huge fan of innovative storytelling techniques and "CityBoy_Log" has really hit it out of the part creatively (it reminds me a little of SKAM in that respect). I applaud the actors for just how realistic their characters feel (I actually can think of anything harder than having to pull off "act like you're not acting" and they do it flawlessly at least 90% of the time) and whoever came up with and executed the show really did something special too. It's an incredibly compelling watch (I binged it) and I immediately felt connected to all the characters in a way it normally takes a drama a few episodes to set up.

Do I have my doubts about how wise it is to blur the lines between fiction and reality so much? I won't lie, yes, especially as this show is rooted so heavily in 2 fandoms where those boundaries are already heavily blurred but for now I'll trust that they know what they're doing (perhaps more so than many other shows that draw heavily on fan service). It does seem like, at least for now, while everything feels real and in character, that it does exist in its own little bubble and that the actors involved are able to leave it behind when they get off work.

Anyway, it'll be interesting to see how it progresses, given that a second season has been confirmed and there was.... a very interesting reveal at the end of the last episode. I'm looking forward to how they continue to play with the format and getting to spend more time with Jae Jun, Ji Han, Byeok Jun, and Hyo Sang

🔗Here's a link to the channel if anyone wants to check it out:

https://youtube.com/@CITYBOY_LOG?si=CKqz8QdfzySCqRyL

CityBoy_Log: The Vlog

Team Hyo Sang all the way. All this puppy wants is for his hyung to notice him and he is adorable about it.

Tagging @lurkingshan @twig-tea @respectthepetty and @rocketturtle4 because I don't know if you guys have seen the show yet!

[just-some-sorta-person]

Nagi's "Hidden Path"/ Loophole

*featuring Isagi, Bachira, and Rin analysis*

I've been thinking a lot about how Nagi represents a "hidden path" in Bluelock, and the ways in which it seems the main manga and episode Nagi disagree on whether he should succeed- the key issue being his relationship with Reo. He plays soccer for their collective dream in a manga where depending on another character for your motivation is treated as soccer suicide, which should doom him, but his own manga starts with the statement that his genius is shaped by Reo - framed as a good thing.

I've said in the past that maybe Nagi will succeed by Episode Nagi's standards, but fail by Blue Lock standards, and I still think that would be an interesting path to take, but rn I wanna discuss the alternative that Nagi succeeds by both standards, even if to a lesser extent in the main manga since Isagi is the MC. And we're assuming here that his relationship with Reo isn't permanently severed in a way that makes him more similar to every other Bllk character bc that would make him much less interesting and also remove the "hidden path" aspect that we're expecting here.

So for him to succeed by both standards, I think what essentially needs to happen is that Nagi represents a loophole or caveat in Blue Lock's philosophy. And to understand why that would be the case, we'd have to understand WHY playing for anyone but yourself is a bad thing in Blue Lock. And there are plenty of examples to draw from.

Isagi and "All for One"

We can start with the "One for all, all for one" team Isagi was in- the most extremely dependent soccer we see. I'll be drawing from Isagi's Light Novel for this, because it really just spells it out. First, let's look at the reasoning for that "all for one" given in response to Isagi's request to shoot more:

“Up until now, You could have won matches with your individual skills, but high school isn’t a piece of cake... We win together, and become stronger together! If you do that, then you'll have double the joy! And half the sorrow!”

The reasoning given here isn't that the resulting soccer is better at winning games - rather there is an emphasis on safety. "the world is tough", "If we stick together, there's half the sorrow". And within that emphasis, is the implication that the individual isn't enough.

We can also see complacency in this ideaology. When Ichinan loses, the coach says

“You fought well. It’s frustrating, but this is what Ichinan is capable of now. The third years are leaving after this… and some of you might quit soccer after today but you can be proud of the days you fought together as a team." "To me, Ichinan’s soccer team…is the best team in Japan!!!”

Within this dream doping that Ego rants about later on, we can again see the acceptance on the individual not being enough - "You fought well... but this is what Ichinan is capable of now." We also see within the dream doping the injection of safety and lack of perceived agency. Because we are one unit, there is no blame, no frustration, no need for improvement. The point is the team, not to win, so be proud.

Most damning is the way we see this reflected in Isagi

There’s no need to take a risky battle. If they lose, it will be his fault and he will feel bad for the team. He makes an exquisite pass to Tada's feet. A perfect last pass.

What's emphasized here is the risk in making an egotistical decision for the whole team in believing himself good enough to make that shot himself. What essentially happens here is a devaluing of the self - " I'm not good enough on my own, its safer to trust others, trust the system, not your instincts" And that forces Isagi to not live up to his fullest potential, to chase what he wants. Until Blue Lock that is.

Bachira and the Monster

Bachira is probably the character most directly "punished" in the narrative for playing for someone else. Though I feel like punish is the wrong word because this problem with his ego reared its head and was resolved in the same game - once he realized the problem, Bachira resolved to solve it

According to Bachira's explanation

"...Until now, I was afraid of playing soccer by myself. I guess I wanted you to come save me. But, once I tried fighting on my own, like I'd done as a kid, I realized...

And so the problem with his habit of looking for another player when playing instead of focusing on himself was again the perceived lack of agency, and devaluing of the self. Longing for someone to play soccer with led to a dependency that negatively impacted his decisions on the field

So that's why his moment of growth was breaking through all on his own to steak back Isagi and win - ignoring the idea that he should wait for someone else to help him. He needed to believe in his own agency/value to prove himself on the field and achieve his goals.

Rin and Sae

I recently took a look at Rin's Light Novel and there was a line that stood out as kinda similar to Bachira's old habit of passing to an imaginary monster before coming to Blue Lock

he understood why things were not going well. Neither their coach nor his other teammates have the slightest idea of Rin’s image of play in his head. (If it was Nii-chan, he would have made a pass here……) he thought so many times during today's practice. He jumped out in front of the goal to a position where I said, “Here!” but his teammates were like, “Huh?” “There?”

So whether you're passing or shooting, a reliance can develop, huh...

(How do Bachirin shippers feel about this parallel? haha. And what does this say about what Rin says to Bachira "But afraid of fighting alone. It is a soccer looking for someone. That luke-warm ego won't make my heart dance". Cus it seems Rin is criticizing Bachira for doing the same thing he did. What does this mean about how Rin feels about himself? (I mean.. he did already call himself lukewarm later but was he thinking about himself in that moment?))

In the light novel, I think it becomes clear one reason why Sae is so against Rin using him as his reason for soccer - it definitely affects how Rin plays when Sae is away. And since Sae becomes aware of the competition outside Japan during his time abroad, he knows that Rin's mentality as it was wouldn't be enough and thus wanted to spare him the suffering and have him give up. And this is in combination with the idea of "I've found out, that I'm not strong enough to hold you up. If you rely on me you'll fail" At least, this is my interpretation of it - but moving on-

With Rin’s last pass, they score a shot. If his Nii-chan had been there, he would have passed the ball to him in front of the goal and he would have scored it directly….. He stopped thinking. No pass is coming. That is now the reality. Anyway, the team won for the first time in a long time.

We see a lack of agency and a reliance on others once again - "If only Nii-chan was here". Like with Bachira, Rin is waiting for someone to "save" him, which limits what he chooses to attempt and stifles his potential because of how it limits his perceived agency.

We can also see this limitation in how he wants to be 2nd best after Sae - not best (de-valuing). It causes Rin to seal off his ego in order to catch up to Sae, by being more similar to Sae instead of developing according to his own unique talents/ego.

In order to catch up with his Nii-chan he saw off at the airport, he has to make the team’s victory his top priority. To do so, he must hold himself back. Hold back the you who was trying to steal the goal with everything you have using that sense of smell for the goal and assemble an attack as a team play.

Even after Sae's return he's always on Rin's mind, and this still limits his soccer. It's only after Rin declares himself lukewarm and rejects the stories others create through their relationship with him that he is able to go all out by embracing his own personal style, rather than focusing on others.

Back on Topic!

So in summary, what is wrong with depending on others? What causes Blue Lock to default to individualism? Ultimately it seems like its the resulting lack of perceived agency - the idea that you can't do things without other people present. By constraining yourself into a narrative with other people, you limit what you can do, and you limit what you think you can do by molding yourself to their vision. Thus, your potential is stifled.

How can Nagi and Reo become an exception to this reasoning? Well, maybe Nagi's decision to leave Reo during 2nd selection is part of the key.

We know from Episode Nagi and Manshine that Nagi wants to improve for the sake of his and Reo's collective dream. And he (correctly) identifies following soccer that challenges/excites him as the proper way to improve.

Here, Reo identifies them playing together as a must, but Nagi corrects him and saying that them being the best in the world together is a must, saying (in his head T-T) that he likes being with him, but that in order to protect their dream, Nagi needs to change.

It's actually pretty much spelled out here. Nagi says he's fine with Reo playing with other people, but insists that Reo stay with him till the end. Its ok to play soccer with others, but keep me in your heart always. In other words, I don't mind not playing together, but you and our end goal is always in my heart.

This is different from Isagi, Bachira, or Rin's situation because in those cases, the team/monster/Sae were considered as key to success. However, in Nagi's case, success is key to Reo. It's completely reversed. It's that nuance of "I play soccer to play soccer with you, to win with you" vs. "I play soccer for you, I win for you". Because "playing together" is not a requirement for winning, it no longer acts as a constraint that restricts agency. Nagi's concept of being together separate from playing soccer together saves their partnership from being the same as the others and frees him to (for example) join Isagi to improve.

You can see more of this in epinagi

The Tag Game

You might say this is a bad example because Nagi relies on Reo to get him un-eliminated, but by Nagi's "I figured you'd do that, Reo..." we can guess that this was more from laziness than a belief that he needed Reo's help. Indeed, when Reo's in danger of being eliminated himself, when their dream is in any real danger, Nagi takes it upon himself to solve the issue

They didn't solve the problem relying on teamwork/partnership or anything. Nagi solved the problem because they're partners.

Playing Against Barou

The next time their dream is "Challenged" is when Barou says "Becoming the world's best striker means you'll be alone until you die", essentially a challenge to the viability of Nagi and Reo's dream. Nagi's response to that is to run off and instigate a 1v1 with Barou

So again, rather than deny Nagi options, his partnership with Reo provided the motivation to act out on his own.

Playing against Team Z

Even when they play against team Z, we see this in action. Nagi plays a more reliant soccer, his dream/Reo is challenged when he sees Reo's face, and Nagi decides to act out on his own.

Nagi will rely on Reo for the sake of laziness, but when it comes to their dream, there's this pattern of deciding to rely less on Reo, take destiny into his own hands, and make an effort. It's really that nuance of doing something to be with someone vs. doing something for someone.

Beyond 1st/2nd Selection

Brief mention here of Nagi's eyes shining when Reo says "But it's not enough" when Nagi praises him. I think this might be Nagi thinking its a sign that Reo in fact has not forgotten their promise and is also working to achieve it - consistent with the idea of being together without necessarily playing together (Whereas Reo is thinking the other way round - improving for the sake of playing together because that's the only way to be together)

So, where this theory hits its roadblock is the Manshine City Arc, where Nagi asks for Reo's help. But because of all the ominous foreshadowing afterwards, in addition to Ego's words that Nagi's deep ego (implied by timing of skull imagery +all the scenes I just listed to be Reo/dream-centric) is about to be tested, I think their dynamic is bound to change in some direction within the next game. So, their relationship is still in development and the theory isn't necessarily debunked.

**edited in addition** I think the key is that regardless of their behavior, the core of their partnership (ie their internal feelings) isn't dependency, but rather reciprocated faith and commitment, though especially with Nagi's communication and introspection issues, it may take some time for them to figure that out because Reo has no idea the faith that Nagi has in him. Reo actually assumes that their partnership can't exist without dependence - assumes its over when that dependence fades because Nagi will have no reason to stay with him, but this is him insecurely misinterpreting Nagi's intentions. They also can't really flourish until Nagi figures out his ego/motivation, though that's luckily foreshadowed to be addressed. I think with how Reo misinterprets Nagi's motivations on a shallow level in 207, and how Nagi's motivation is foreshadowed to be addressed soon, we will get nagireo communication soon timeline wise (not real life lol). And hopefully with that communication, Reo's insecurity + Nagi's motivation can be addressed and they can begin to figure out a functional partnership within Blue Lock. But really the key here is that faith and devotion don't necessitate playing with only each other in mind, while dependence/reliance does.

In terms of what will happen, I think we might finally get a confirmation of what Nagi's ego is - it certainly fits with their conversation in 207, where Reo tries to give a substitute that doesn't really fit. I'm not sure what would happen once Nagi and Reo have the clarity of understanding what Nagi's ego is though...

In Any Case!

I'm running out of fuel but just to let ya'll know I was thinking really hard about what the difference was between Nagi and Reo's dynamic in comparison to partnerships or teamwork criticized by the main manga and I did not expect the difference I came up with to be the difference between reliance and devotion. "I am not enough by myself" vs. "I will make myself enough for you". I still wonder if I'm just biased?

Plz lmk ur thoughts

link to a continuation of these thoughts - Hiori's Words, Reo's Insecurity, Nagi's Enforced Indifference

[nitrowyverine]

I think I write dating sim/VNs/etc reviews now? Anyway,

LOST IN LIMBO REVIEW/THOUGHTS

This VN piqued my interest, so I gave the demo a shot! This review will follow the same general format as my Obscura/Touchstarved review, except there's 7 (!!!) romance options.

Since I totally loved this game, I'm going to put the conclusion promo up here too: if Lost in Limbo interests you, consider playing it Here, Here on steam, and/or backing it Here!

ALSO! THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE DEMO!

My (long winded) thoughts are below:

(Banner image courtesy of the Ravenstar Games tumblr account pinned post. Individual character pics courtesy of tumblr posts from the studio. Individual posts are linked in character titles.)

Gameplay design thoughts:

the plot immediately sucked me in, I'm pretty invested in whatever the hell is going on with the protag, the realms, the lords, etc. I think the setup/land are deep enough to draw me in, but not so intimidating in it's depth that I'm afraid to explore more.

I always enjoy a little bit of nightmare fuel in my games, so the voidbound are perfect. They're so gross and horrible, but not just a stock zombie/nightmare creature design. Whenever the voidbound pop up, it makes the back of my neck itch, which is perfect.

I have no idea whose route I'll pick first. Usually I have one candidate that I can pick out as number 1. This game however? I go back and forth all the time, since I love all of them. I do think I have bias for Ara/Gael/Amon/Envy, maybe?

I really want to design an MC to doodle for this, but I feel like I don't know enough about other people in the realm. (Mostly, I'm assuming that standard humans don't have pointy ears? how close to our reality is the regular world?) I might say "screw it" and design an MC anyway (with some speculative clothing for once they get cleaned up)

The backgrounds have been great set pieces so far. Sometimes I catch myself just kinda staring into space at them. They've got a fantastic flavor.

Misc. Thoughts written during a replay

Fun touch to have Evie's rock image from the beginning fortune shop scene line up with the 7 LI's color schemes.

Each of the VA's does a lovely job with their voices. I've been turned off of certain dating sims because of bad voice acting, but the acting in this game is superb so far. It really helps set the richness of the story.

I have a theory that the LI's (and possibly people in Limbo in general) experience pain differently. The characters seem largely uninterested in the MC's stabbed, weakened state, beyond a "Oh that sucks....we'll clean you up later" mentality. I wonder if they have different pain tolerances, or are just less attached to such things. (Then again, Amon and Raeya have full missing limbs/eyes, so they probably have a decent perspective on pain altogether)

What does wielder/non-wielder mean? Xal says the MC "Can't wield, can't see." What do the LI's see that we don't? Ara mentions that the MC seems "Completely normal". Many mysteries.

I need those monster forms like crazy oh my goodness. Please devs PLEASE SHOW THE MONSTER FORMS

Now, to the lovely love interests!

Amon

WHO LET THIS MAN BE OVER 7 FEET TALL? PRIDE YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO

I only just noticed he also has a few freckles, *chefs kiss* (Waaaiit do all of them have little freckle skin textures??? Oh this is a glorious day.)

It's hard not to love a big friendly guy. I was honestly relieved when he first showed up, because I did Envy's route first, and I was thrilled to see a friendly face in the big dark scary woods.

This does not mean, however, that I'm not excited to see what this guy turns into when he's mad.

I like that he has pity for MC when they first show up, but I do worry it makes his resolve weaker. I'm not as confident that he could handle society/reality breaking down as well as the others. Can he put aside his affable nature for when shit hits the fan?

Question: What level of fight had to happen for Amon to lose his eye? He's already huge, and has some sort of telekinetic powers. My theory is that he was taken by surprise, maybe by someone close to him.....(Envy I'm looking at you)

RIP Amon you would have loved Hawaiian shirts

Conclusion: Most likely to be the camp counselor who hurts his back from always giving piggy back rides. Least likely to keep his composure during a badly timed pun/dad joke.

Raeya

I'm fighting for my life whenever shes on screen good LORD

Similarly to Amon, I GOTTA know the story behind her prosthetic arm. Its so rad looking, but how did she lose a whole arm? (I am also considering that she was also not born with one)

Playing the demo again, she makes a specific comment about the monsters having not "infected a limb" of the MC. My bet is that's how she lost her arm.

I wish I could have spent 1:1 time with her, but it wasn't offered in the demo. I'd love to have like, a sit down discussion with her about history. (Well I'd be fine getting lectured about history and drinking tea and hanging out)

Out of everyone's motivations, I think I understood Raeya's the most. Even if she was against MC, I think her concerns are completely valid. If an alien fell out of the sky from a different reality to earth I'd ALSO be taking every precaution

She and Amon have matching ear chains, that's adorable....

I hope I can take her on a nice date and spoil her and let her relax in the full game, pretty please. Nothing bad will happen right???

Conclusion: Most likely to gently remind the waiter that you said NO pickles with your order, thank you very much. Least likely to admit to being the one who farted in a crowded room.

Envy

every other line from him is "UGGGHHH" and i love that for them.

After playing, I think I've finally realized that I've got a soft spot for grumps. just grumpy lil friends with their pouty faces

I want (vivi's) Envy's nails SO BAD. I need him to do my nails because theirs are perfect. Envy, envy PLEASE

They pretend not to care, but are already getting attached to the MC by the end of the demo. I can't wait to see what they're like when they actually DO get attached

Elephant in the room, what could he have possibly done to get himself demoted so severely? Everyone seems to be fine with him being demoted except Amon, who sheepishly vouches for him when he can.

I just wanna wrap him in a blanket burrito like you do with a spicy kitten. and then give him little smooches

Conclusion: Most likely to be they guy who gets one drink at a party and sits in the corner with the dog/cat all night. Least likely to allow their partner to willingly boop their nose with any regularity.

Pride

Old man yells at cloud? No....old man IS cloud.

The dev's tumblr has mentioned that he's a pathetic old man, but for now at least, I am afraid of his authority and power. since hes like. yaknow. the big god of this world

The VA did some fabulous work for his voice. I definitely got actual chills in certain parts. 10/10

Okay, so WHAT is this guy's deal with mirrors? He looks great, why is he worried about it. I sincerely doubt he's just 52 though, if he's a god. (as a note for all these interests, I have a feeling that the ages are their physical ages, and not their actual ages. Or at least, age relative to ours. I think they're much older in our years than in their years.)

We also didn't get any 1:1 time with Pride in the demo, so I'm fascinated to see what alone time with Pride would be like. Is he quiet? a chatterbox? Just a guy??? does he only play piano and not talk to you. (power move)

Conclusion: Most likely to show up WAY over-prepared for Parent-Teacher conferences. Least likely to understand and survive the cinnamon challenge.

Ara

Certified CUTIE PIE

We got a pretty clear demonstration of everyone's powers in the demo, except for Ara. Unless it was too subtle for me to realize, I'm not actually sure what her cool powers are yet.

If she DOESN'T have plant powers I'd be very surprised.

I keep wanting to think things like "I have to protect her" or "keep her safe at all costs". But then I remember she's likely absolutely terrifying, and I honestly should be actually afraid for anyone who gets in her way.

I would like to remind/inform everyone that so far, she is the only member of the cast who is visibly armed at all times. (Raeya doesn't count even if her arm claws look really really sharp.)

If I have to pick anyone to party with, it's probably Ara. I know she'd throw an absolute rager, but would also make sure you stay hydrated. I wanna hold her hand too. Please?

I'll go butch for her, i'll do it if thats what she wants. I'm weak

Conclusion: Most likely to be able convince you to give her your kidney. Least likely to let you skip a bloodthirsty game of monopoly because you "Have a headache"

Gael

where did he find pants long enough for him.

Okay. So its HIS fault that Amon has the deepest V-cut since time immemorial. Do you think Amon and Gael had an extensive argument about the minimum amount of clothes Amon has to wear at any given time? Because I do.

His powers certainly did not. Awaken anything in me. Nope.

he has the shortest and most perfect arc from stranger -> friendly -> ???? -> BETRAYAL

I am MASSIVELY curious about his dissociation/spacing out during the demo. He was 8 million miles away in the tower for some reason, and I HAVE to find out why. I just KNOW this man is doing some questionable shit with good intentions and I can't wait to find out what it is.

So, he has SOME issue with touch. No idea what it is, but I can't wait to find out what it is. Also noting he's the only one with full-coverage gloves in the cast. Interesting...

Conclusion: Most likely to cry after being sent those sad FB/insta animal stories. Least likely to let you open your own car/carriage/etc door under any circumstances.

Xal

He looks so soft. I have to bully him, in a good way. (Like grim from Date with Death)

I am fascinated as to why he would lie for MC. That's such a great hook to his character. What does a guy who so desperately wants to be left alone have to see to stick his neck out for a stranger?

SOMEONE get this man a NINTENDO DS POST HASTE

THIS GAME HAS TO GET FUNDED BECAUSE XAL SAYS HE HAS A CAT AND I WANT TO SEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will do it, I will be the one to tuck him in when he is too eepy. I will carry him to bed and kiss his little head good night

Wait, if he can "Figure something out" by touching it, he could be like, the worlds greatest doctor. Xal please get off the couch and help me diagnose mystery ailments in a medical sitcom

Conclusion: Most likely to injure himself rigging up a Rue Goldberg machine to scratch his back. Least likely take it easy on you once he learns how to play super smash bros. (He's a fox/falco main)

Concerns:

What the Ravenstar team has already been able to accomplish is incredible. I'm worried that with 7 whole love interests (with a possible two more on the way if the kickstarter goes well), i'm worried the devs are taking on a whole lot of work. I think they're fully capable of taking this on, but I hope they don't burn themselves out in the process.

I'm pretty happy to see the kickstarter is moving along, but there's always the chance that something happens, and/or the kickstarter goal isn't met. BY THE TIME I FINISHED WRITING THIS IT GOT FUNDED LETS GOO!!! I still hope this project makes it all the way to completion beyond the kickstarter. Things can always happen, so Ive got my fingers crossed for the Ravenstar team!

OVERALL CONCLUSION:

I loved the demo, and I have now backed the project! The team is trying to hit stretch goals now, so share Lost in Limbo with your buddies! I crave content for this game like nothing else.

[roosterforme]

I'm So Hot For You | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Bradley makes you some homemade hot sauce to show his love and appreciation for you being his sexy nurse.

Warnings: Fluff

Length: 1600 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots! (But it can be read on its own) Check my masterlist in my profile for the reading order!

After spending weeks and countless hours helping Bradley heal after he had been injured, you really deserved something special. 

And now that you were going to be his wife, Bradley thought you deserved everything. But the one thing he knew you would love that he thought he could give you, was your very own homemade hot sauce. 

"Why are we here?" Jake asked him for the tenth time as he and Bradley donned matching aprons that said San Diego Community College across the front. 

"To make hot sauce, dumbass."

"Yes, I understand that much, but why are we here? I don't see why you didn't just bring Angel with you."

"It's supposed to be a surprise. You do know what a surprise is, correct?" Bradley asked him, like he was talking to a very small child. "Now put your gloves on so you don't burn your eyes later."

Jake scoffed at him as the instructor introduced herself to the class, and both Bradley and Jake settled onto the stools behind their workstation. 

"Hi everyone! My name is Miss Mabel, and I will be your teacher for today," said a very kind looking older woman. Bradley sat up straight on his stool, ready to make a treat that you would love. "It's so nice to see so many couples here. This is a great relationship building exercise."

Jake turned and glared at Bradley. "Couples? Relationship? What did you bring me to, Bradshaw?!" 

"I..... oh, shit," Bradley muttered, but Miss Mabel was already talking about different kinds of hot peppers, and Bradley really wanted to take good notes. He started scribbling down everything she was telling them. 

After Miss Mabel got everyone started on instructions, she started to walk around the room and help each pair individually. 

"You should have brought your future wife to couples cooking class, Bradshaw," Jake said, sorting the peppers by scoville heat units. 

"Can you just cooperate and help me, please?" Bradley begged, getting out a set of knives and cutting boards. "You know I can't do this right by myself."

Jake sighed deeply. "It amazes me that you manage to get through the day. Fine, I'll help," he agreed, handing Bradley the peppers in order of hotness to cut up. 

"Gentlemen, how are we making out over here?" Miss Mabel asked when she stopped at their table. 

Jake just shook his head. "Not sure, Miss Mabel. He's kind of a lost cause in the kitchen, but he's demanding that he takes the lead on this one." Jake held his hands up in surrender.

"I just wanted it to be special," Bradley grunted, dicing up a habanero pepper. "Can't I try to make something special for the person I love?" 

Miss Mabel just smiled at them. "Cooking for your significant other is always a gift from the heart."

"Yeah, well... he's being so grouchy about this. He keeps saying he just needs it to be perfect," Jake told her. Then in a hushed voice, he added, "But between you and me, Miss Mabel, his creativity outweighs his ability. And then he gets very snarky when things don't go as planned."

"If I get grouchy, it's usually always your fault," Bradley told Jake as he added an array of peppers to the blender. 

"You two seem like polar opposites! How long have you known each other?"

"Too long," Bradley grunted at the same time as Jake said, "Twelve years, Ma'am."

Bradley watched Jake measure out some vinegar and add it to the blender as he chattered along with Miss Mabel. 

"That's a long time," Miss Mabel noted. "You two seem to need to work on your communication with each other. I would definitely recommend more of my classes as a fun way to help you with that."

"Thanks. We'll definitely consider it," Jake told her with a wink before she moved to the next table. 

Bradley glared at him. "Will you stop fucking around?"

Jake just started cracking up. "She thinks we're in a relationship. With each other."

"Yeah. I caught that," Bradley said, shaking his head. "Now how much vinegar did you add? A teaspoon or a tablespoon?"

"Could you imagine a world in which I would slum it with you, Bradshaw? Hilarious," Jake drawled, settling back onto his stool.

Bradley rolled his eyes. "I would never date you. You are insufferable and irritating. That's probably why my fiancée turned you down. Now, did you add a teaspoon or a tablespoon?"

"Um, the little one," Jake replied, looking unsure of himself. 

Bradley tipped his head back and counted to five before looking at Jake again. "Bringing you here was a terrible idea."

"Yeah, mainly because it's for couples, but also because I am no better in the kitchen than you are."

When it was time to sample the sauces, Miss Mabel deemed Bradley and Jake's batch 'nearly inedible' and told them they should 'work on communicating and listening to one another'.

When they left the classroom, Jake checked his phone, completely unfazed by the epic failure. "Wanna stop at the Hard Deck?"

Bradley scowled. "No, I don't want to stop at the Hard Deck! I'm taking my jar of nasty hot sauce home and telling her you ruined it."

Jake just shrugged. "She's going to think it's funny."

--------------------------------------

When Bradley got home, you were just walking up the sidewalk with Tramp on his leash. 

"Look! It's Daddy!" you told Tramp as he pulled you along to get to Bradley faster. "Did you have fun with Jake?" you asked Bradley as he scooped Tramp into his arms. 

"No," he told you, placing a soft kiss on your lips.

"Where did you guys go, anyway?"

Bradley followed you and Tramp into the house, smiling as the sunlight hit your engagement ring. 

"Baby Girl, I just wanted to do something nice for you, but I made this for you instead," he said, holding out the jar of hot sauce to you. 

"What is it?" you asked, eyeing it skeptically. Even Bradley found the shade of orangish-green to be off putting, and he would eat pretty much anything. 

"Hot sauce."

"Hot sauce?! You made me hot sauce?" you asked, your eyes filled with love as you flung your arms around him. "I love it!"

"Well...." Bradley said while cringing. "Maybe you should taste it before you say that...."

He watched you dip a spoon into the jar, and the look of pure delight on your face turned to one of panic as the sauce touched your tongue. "What the fuck is in this?" you asked, coughing and gagging. Bradley watched you head for the sink, and he tried to suppress a laugh, but he couldn't. "It tastes like sour, evil vinegar."

"I'm so sorry, Sweetheart. I know it's disgusting. I tried my best. But the teacher thought Jake and I were a couple, and it was a disaster." He poured you a glass of milk and wiped the tears from your eyes with his thumbs. 

"Wait, what?" you asked, and Bradley told you the entire story. By the end of it, you were cracking up. "Oh, that's hilarious, Roo. I've got to text Jake."

"He said you would think the whole thing was funny. And I guess that's just one reason why I'm marrying you. Because you don't think I'm a complete disaster even when I am."

You looked up from your phone. "Bradley. You're never a disaster."

He shrugged and you wrapped your arms around him again. "I just wanted to surprise you with something you would like, Sweetheart. You were so good to me when I was healing, always making me food and taking care of everything around here."

You looked up at him and smiled. "I think going with Jake was probably your first mistake. We can try to make a hot sauce here. Together. If you want to."

"I took notes. Miss Mabel was actually very thorough."

Bradley watched you skim through his notebook before you grabbed your car keys. "Let's go to the farmer's market before it closes and buy peppers."

You seemed to know what you were doing, so Bradley held your hand and carried everything for you. 

"These are the little green peppers in my favorite hot sauce. Should we add them to ours?" you asked, pointing out some kind of pepper Bradley never heard of. 

"Definitely, Sweetheart." He watched as you picked out a few more. When you got back home to your kitchen, he felt perfectly at ease as you read Miss Mabel's instructions out loud and put him to work. 

Being around you was easy for Bradley in a way he had never experienced before. You laughed as he cut up the peppers and told you more about Miss Mabel's class. 

"We should go to a Miss Mabel class together," you told him. "Jake can just fuck off, he's not allowed to be in a relationship with you."

Bradley laughed and agreed, and while you blended everything together, he signed the two of you up for a salsa making class at the college. 

"Want to try the first bite?" you asked, offering the spoon to Bradley. He took a small taste, and it was good. Great, even. 

"Incredible," he said, and you grinned when you tried it. 

"It's perfect," you agreed, and Bradley played with your hair and kissed your neck as you made them eggs covered in homemade hot sauce for dinner. 

-------------------------------

Just a fluffy little moment between these two (and Jake)! One more one-shot and then we dig into another series with these two if you can believe it....

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[ticklishthoughts1]

Hyperfocus:Ribs

NGL, this was long overdue but I have been busy as of late ^w^

I'm just sitting down, reading, a relatively often occurence. I look up as they come in, and a smile lights up my face. I wave them over, setting the book down and hugging them, then moving over on the bed so they can lay next to me, they themselves getting a novel. Life can be so chaotic, fun but wild at times. It makes these times with them, just quietly being together, enjoying each others presence, all the more precious. Of course, them being them, the silence wouldn't be forever. I feel a poke in my side, and look up, only to see them reading. Hmm. I slowly look down, and 3 minutes later, another poke. I whip my head up, and see them looking at the book, a barely contained silly smile on their face. Aha. I roll my eyes playfully, then pretend to look back down. As soon as they slowly reach out to poke my sides again, I grab their wrist, turning, straddling their wasit, and using my forearm to hold both arms above their head, on the pillows. I smirk as they struggle to pull free, but don't, and touch foreheads with them softly, whispering "New Story. This one is about the Little Lee who liked to poke the bear...The Lee with Ticklish Ribs~". My insinuation is noticed, I can tell by the small look of lee panic in their eyes. I smirk, and simply rest one hand on the left side of their ribcage, before drawling out "Now...let's see how many toys we have to play with, hmm?~". I roll their shirt up, before resting two fingers on an individual rib, "counting" it, by vibrating both fingers on the rib and moving on to the next rib as they squirm around under me. "1......2......3...4.....5....6....Dang it! You're so Squirmy! I lost count of which one I was on...guess we gotta start allllll Over!~ Try to be still this time, Darling. 1.....2....3.....4...5...6...7...8..........Ah heck, I got lost in your eyes about that. Dang. What number was I on? An 'EEHEHEHEHEIHIGHT' ? What is that? Guess we'll just restart again~". I "lose count" 3 more times, and get it right on the 6th try, then I stop, locking eyes with you, and growl out happily, my voice deepening. "I'm gonna do it again. Not because I lost count. Because I can tell you're loving this, and that's just so cute I wanna keep going forever, Sweetheart~". The Flustered Expression on their face tells me I hit the money on my Analysis of their feelings about this whole event. Good. I count the ribs one more time, Painstakingly Slowly, and then finally, I stop counting, and get up.

Oh but I'm not done.

Not by a long shot.

Instead, I tell you to wait, leaving the room for just a second before coming back with a couple of paintbrushes, and paint that's safe for their skin. I giggle evilly, then climb back on the bed, drawling out "Here's the deal, cutie. You have to keep your hands above your head, whether gripping each other, or on the bedframe, while I paint. If you can't, I'll pin you again~". I tilt my head, smiling as they lock their arms over their head, then go over, and straddle them once more, beginning to paint. I'm thorough, using a smaller brush to get in between each rib. My concentration is pure, but not enough to not notice how hard they're trying to keep still for me, which I note on: "Awwwww, you're doing such a good job Baby!~ Being nice and still for me...guess you still like this, huh?~". I wink at them, both of us knowing full well that you loving it was the entire reason I do this. After about 3-5 minutes I finish painting, then raise a washrag, giggling as I begin to scrub the paint off, wiggling my fingers through the rag, and watching them stop holding their arms above their head, cooing "Calm down baby we've gotta get you clean!~". When done, I grin at them then say slowly, softly "There we go...clean enough to eat~". I chuckle when I see their eyes widen, and before they can stop me, I start nomming their ribs gently. I do this for 2 minutes, then, scrub them off AGAIN, and finally, pull you into a hug, stroking their back gently. After a while, we get back to reading, and it's like nothing happened.

Except for the blush on their face.

And the warm smile on mine.

[devildom-moss]

I came running when I saw requests open. I know that this is a total long shot, so ignore it if it’s too much or too long of an ask:

Can I request HCs for the brothers and extras (maybe separate posts?) for celebrating the holidays with their s/o? Can be all x reader or each individual x reader, whatever you’d like. No limits on imagination or creativity. Bonus points for holiday party gifts giving and receiving for them, too! Love your content!

Okay, so I was going to try to knock them all out in one post but then things occurred, and +4k words (and a lot of time) later, I realized nope I better not. But since some of the holidays have already started, I thought I should try to get something up soon. So I'm starting with a few general headcanons and the demon brothers. I'll try to get the others up soon, though.

Celebrating the holidays/New Year headcanons (general + the demon brothers)

(Suggestive)

Word Count: +4,800

General headcanons

They would all agree to throw a party together – in part because most of them love their little friends and family parties, especially during holidays. They’re also too stubborn and affectionate to give you up for a holiday, so a big party is a decent compromise. (Because if Solomon steals you for the holidays, the brothers will throw a fit and sulk, Luke will be sad, and Lucifer, Simeon, and Diavolo will – separately – find ways to interrupt. If the brothers keep you to themselves, the others will find a way to intrude. Diavolo would have better luck convincing Barbatos to bake him a rat-shaped cake than prying you from Lucifer’s grasp on a holiday. Thirteen could hide you in her cave for a while, but Solomon and Barbatos could probably find you before the day was over.)

Thirteen and Mephisto are the most likely to either not get invited (rude) or just not show up to a big party. Then again, Thirteen is so smitten by you that she’d probably invite herself just to see you. I’ll put a bit more on that in their respective sections.

If you celebrate a particular holiday, they’ll try to celebrate that with you. If not, they might celebrate a secular Christmas or just throw a New Year / New Year’s Eve party.

A lot of effort goes into the big party, especially if you have specific customs that you celebrated in the human world. They will probably ask about it a month in advance (right after October, usually) so they can start scheming planning.

Satan, Belphie, and Solomon are usually in charge of research on customs and traditions – not that Solomon needs to do much research.

By the time they get you involved, they would already have some ideas in mind. Unless you seem to love planning parties, they want to do most of the work. You deal with their shit all year; they want to put in most of the effort as the year comes to an end and give you the chance to rest.

Lucifer

Considers it his job to make sure no matter what happens, the holidays aren’t too stressful for you (yelling at everyone and reigning in their stupidity to the best of his abilities). If he so much as senses your stress levels increase, someone is getting strung up, and you’re getting a few hours of spoiling until you feel better.

He wants alone time with you, so if he can manage it, he’ll sneak in a date with you before and after the holidays. It might be something small like eating a meal alone or taking a walk and admiring the way the Devildom settles into winter.

Lucifer wants to be the last person you go on a date with this year and the first person you date next year. He knows it’s selfish, but if you get a bit of Demonus in him, he’ll admit to his selfish desire, face flushed pink and eyes soft with adoration the whole time.

Definitely tries to get you alone during the party for a few minutes. There’s about a 40% chance he ends up drunk before the party is over. If he’s sober and conscious after everyone but Diavolo and Barbatos falls asleep, he’ll try to put the moves on you. (Those two can watch or join or try to compete; he doesn’t care. Although, if he’s tipsy enough, he’ll flirt with you and kiss you in front of Solomon and Mephisto, too.)

If it’s a New Year’s Eve party, he will drag you somewhere secluded before midnight to steal your kiss. Similar to the date thing, he wants to be your first and last kiss of the year.

Gifts – giving: Lucifer always gets you alone before giving you gifts. He likes to give practical gifts for holidays that make you think of him often, but they’re usually high-end and tailored to your interests. If you like studying or journaling or drawing, he’d give you an extravagant hand-bound notebook or enchanted pens or pencils. He might also give you some kind of jewelry – usually something that could be worn on your wrists (not at all because he feels like he’s binding you to him by doing that. No. Never.). But he’s so extra about it. He’d insist upon putting it on for you right then and there. He’d kiss your wrist before he did. And his annoying ass would definitely get you a watch and then look up at you flirtatiously to say, “Now you have no excuse to keep me waiting, my dear.”

Gifts – receiving: He’s such a pain to shop for because if you ask him what he wants, he’ll just tell you, “I want you – all to myself.” Sir, shut the fuck up. However, he loves anything you give him, so it works out. If you can get him a rare cursed record or bottle of Demonus, he’ll be overjoyed, especially if you enjoy them with him. He also appreciates special coffee beans/grounds, clothing/accessories (especially matching ones so he can show off), and anything you made by hand. As long as he can tell that you thought about him, he’ll be pleased (probably so pleased that he’ll have to resist the temptation to pounce on you right then and there).

Mammon

He will be glued to your side whenever possible. Mammon gets so excited about the holidays and the party that he’s all smiles – or maybe that’s just because he’s next to you. He considers it his job to keep you happy and bring you cheer.

Ropes you into decorating the House of Lamentation with him. Definitely helps you reach the higher locations by changing into his demon form and holding you while you decorate. “Couldn’t you just fly up here and do this yourself?” “Shuddup. I don’t wanna do it. You’re better at puttin’ this stuff up. And maybe I just wanna hold ya, so there. Now keep goin’ or the Great Mammon’s gonna drop ya.” “You wouldn’t dare!” “Yeah, yeah. I know. Just shuddup and stop teasin’ me.”

He tells you that he needs your help doing some holiday shopping, and that the deals at the end of the year are too good to miss. It’s an excuse to take you on a date, but it’s also a good way for him to keep an eye on you and see if anything sparks your interest while you’re out shopping together. He’ll go back and buy it for you later when you’re not paying attention.

Gets drunk at the party – mostly because Diavolo and Mephisto brought the good Demonus, so he can’t possibly pass it up. He’ll keep a close eye on you during the whole party (for as long as he’s sober enough).

Definitely tries to make out with you in some quiet room where no one will find you for a few minutes. You’ll probably get caught, and Mammon will get yelled at and called scum.

Stays up pretty late because he just wants to be around you, but between the Demonus and all the dancing he ropes you into, he’ll be exhausted and sleep until noon.

Gifts – giving: Gives you something stylish you can wear (that just so happens to match with something he bought for himself). He’s especially fond of giving you necklaces, jackets, or glasses – something that isn’t as easy to hide. He wants you to wear it with pride. If he gets you any kind of jewelry, he’ll get it engraved with something sickeningly sweet. “my most precious treasure” / “you shine brighter than gold” / “your smile is priceless.” Mammon also makes it a point to give you gifts alone because he’s embarrassed – and because he wants a kiss as a thank you.

Gifts – receiving: He makes a big fuss about wanting the newest products from high-end fashion brands or just cold, hard Grimm, and that’s true, he does want those things, but he’s also incredibly soft for you. As long as you give him something thoughtful, he’ll be fine if it isn’t expensive. He loves getting accessories that he can wear around his neck or wrists (yes, for the reason you’re thinking. It makes him feel like he belongs to you – which obviously means you belong to him, too.) Additionally, as long as you give him his gift in private, Mammon will be extremely pleased if you give him kinky items (collars, cuffs, and any sex toys that you promise to use on him). He likes being reminded that you think about him in that way.

Leviathan

He tries to get you to binge watch holiday specials for his favorite anime with him more than once. He’ll even try to entice you with a sleepover including all your favorite snacks and seasonal drinks. Spending time with you makes him feel better about being an otaku during the holiday season. When he isn’t around you or the others during the party prep stages, he feels anxious and mopey.

If you ask him out on a date around the holidays, he will freak out and turn a bright shade of pink, fanning his cheeks with his hands (dual purpose stimming). Take him somewhere nice and romantic, hold his hand, maybe even kiss his cheek in public, and he will melt quicker than snow next to a fire.

He probably drinks the most if no one regulates him because he’s anxious about having to be social all day and whether or not you’re having fun or if you’re going to like the gift he got for you. He still enjoys himself, though. He’ll rope a few people (at least Luke and Diavolo) into singing karaoke with him, and he’ll get a few more to play games with him.

Retires relatively early because all the socializing drained him. There’s a good chance he calls it a night and forgets to exchange gifts with you. He freaks out when he wakes up and apologizes profusely after he hunts you down finds you and finally hands you your gift.

Gifts – giving: He finds it so much easier to get gifts for someone who loves anime and manga. Nonetheless, he’ll probably try to track down something related to a show, book, game, or idol you like (any media interests, basically). He’ll get you a signed first edition print of a book you love, a commissioned art piece from one of your favorite artists (possibly of you and him), a high-quality, custom-made figure of your fav character wearing that outfit you love, or VIP tickets to a concert for that musician you like – usually one of a kind or hard to obtain items.

Gifts – receiving: He’d be delighted with the same types of gifts that he would try to get for you – but for his favorites. If you have any artistic/musical talents, he’d also be overjoyed with fan art made by you or covers sung by you. If you can voice act and you record an audio as one of his favorites, he will emotionally implode (especially if it’s suggestive or NSFW). Levi would also be happy with fabric he can use to make cosplay or outfit pieces he can use in cosplay. Like Mammon, he’d also be delighted to get kinky stuff from you (but he’d prefer stuff like lingerie, collars, and harnesses). He’ll turn bright red if you do that, but the embarrassment is kind of a turn on for him.

Satan

He will ask you out on a (cat) café date at some point near the end of the year. He understands it’s a busy time for you, so he’ll only ask you to spare one day where he can enjoy a few seasonal menu items (like peppermint hot chocolate with cute peppermint mocha whipped cream in the shape of a cat), take a stroll in the brisk winter air while holding hands, and curl up in his room reading a good book with you (and yes, that includes cuddling and maybe a little make out session). As long as he gets his one date, he’ll be content.

He finds holidays stressful, and decorating with all of his brothers gets incredibly annoying (loud, overstimulating), so if he can do something where he only has to deal with one or two people (or even better, just you), he’ll try to help that way instead. Satan is pretty good at delegating, organizing the tasks, and tracking the budget, though.

Satan looks forward to the party in part because he, Belphie, and Mephisto have a bunch of tricks planned for Lucifer. Will any of them be successful and effectively annoying? Probably not. But there’s a chance that Lucifer might slip up and get embarrassed by one of them, and that’s good enough. Satan will get annoyed if Lucifer doesn’t fall for any of them, so Lucifer might just let it happen. If not, you’ll have to bring him a drink and cheer him up.

He cherishes the chance to dance with you during the party, but he’s even more pleased when he inevitably sneaks off somewhere quiet with you. He makes sure you don’t get caught, though, and he returns you to the party within a half an hour in almost the same state you left in.

Absolutely wants to be your first kiss of the new year and has the common sense to ask you to save your first kiss for him beforehand.

Gifts – giving: Satan is the type to have most of his gifts ready in advance. He cannot deal with the stress of trying to find multiple last-minute gifts without demolishing a wall. Moreover, he thinks about others (especially you) more than he wants to admit, so if he sees something you’ll like he just gets it. He could hide 3 dead bodies in his mess of books if not for the smell; he’d have no trouble hiding presents. Besides, no one is going to try to snoop around in his room. He likes to give you books that suit your interests because he feels like he’s also sharing part of himself with you when he does. They’re usually rare editions or custom hand-bound versions. He can find you an amazing book on anything you have an interest in. Satan might also pull some strings and get you something more exclusive – products that haven’t hit the market yet that you seemed interested in or two tickets/vouchers for a novel experience. The vouchers would probably be for something that could serve as a date later like a traveling exhibit or a movie screening. Whatever it is, though, he’d make sure it’s something he thinks you’d enjoy. If it’s a book or product, he’ll have no problem giving your gift to you in front of others, but if it’s tickets/vouchers, he’ll give it to you in secret. He doesn’t want anyone trying to tag along or make a fuss over it.

Gifts – receiving: You can never have too many books. Giving him obscure or rare books (especially human world books that he never would have known about) is a great idea. He’ll be so thrilled that he’ll offer to read the book to you. Cat-themed gifts are also an option: matching cat-shaped accessories, a photo album of all the cats he’s spotted in the Devildom, reservations to a cat café, etc. He’s really easy to please. Honestly, you could put on cat ears/a cat onesie or use magic to turn yourself into a cat for a day and let him cuddle you, and he’d be the happiest demon in the Devildom.

Asmodeus

As much as he hates how much the winter air dries out his skin, he’s a bundle of cheer during the holidays. The decorations, the snow, seasonal food and drinks, adorable cozy outfits – it’s so Devilgramable. He feels like it’s his job to make you happy as the year comes to an end.

Asmo will be attached to you almost as much as Mammon. For everyone’s sake, please don’t let him find out about the mistletoe tradition. He’ll be carrying one around in a bag all month so he can steal kisses from everyone (no one will be safe) – especially you. Even if you manage to hide that information from him, Asmo will use the cold winter air as an excuse to hold your hand, hug you, and cuddle with you whenever he wants. He’ll probably get yelled at a few times for not keeping his hands to himself (mostly by his brothers, but Simeon and Solomon might suggest he needs to respect your personal space, too).

His desire for attention is about the same, so he doesn’t ask you out any more often than he usually does. Unfortunately (or fortunately), that’s still a lot. Every few days, he’ll ask you to go out with him to try some kind of seasonal drink or food or to shop. “Aw, hun. If you can’t go out, you can at least spare a few minutes to make out and warm me up a little, right? You know you want to kiss me~”

Asmo will happily help decorate – as long as he can avoid more physical tasks. He would definitely have holiday-themed nails, and he’s not about to ruin those. Luckily, he can get away with making design decisions or doing floral arrangements. He’ll pawn the heavy labor off on Beel.

If you let him, he’ll get you all dolled up and do your makeup for the party. “You’ll look so gorgeous, no one will be able to take their eyes off you.”

He’ll be lively during the party, dancing and playing games with you and the others. He might get a bit tipsy, but he’s pretty lucid all night. He’ll still be sober when he’s fawning over Solomon, Barbatos, Thirteen, and Diavolo – mostly the former two. You’re still his number one, but he wants to see if he can convince any of those four to dance with him or give him a kiss for the sake of the holidays.

At a New Year party, if he could find you, he would absolutely kiss you when the clock strikes midnight. He wouldn’t even bother to get you alone.

Gifts – giving: He’ll most likely give you high quality clothes or accessories. They’ll probably be items that he worked on himself or that he modeled. Asmo would take care to ensure that they fit you perfectly and that you’ll be comfortable in whatever he gets you. More likely than not, he would give it to you while he helps you get ready. It would probably be something you could wear to the party. If it’s clothes, he would insist that you model it for him first. “I need to take in your beauty before anyone else can see how amazing you look.” (He would definitely use that as an excuse to praise you and would probably try to get you off before the party started and someone came looking for you). If it’s jewelry, he would insist upon putting it on for you. Asmo would leave kisses on your skin between whispered words of praise. “This suits you perfectly. You’re lovely. I can’t take my eyes off you.” As a half-joke, he might give you kinky gifts and/or sex toys. With a giggle, he would tell you how excited he was to try it out with you. Also as a half-joke (in addition to a tangible present), Asmo would offer himself up to you. He wouldn’t be immediately prepared if you agreed, though. In fact, he’d probably be pleasantly surprised by your boldness.

Gifts – receiving: Asmo gets a lot of gifts from so many fans, so the most important things when considering gifts for him are time, effort, and thought. Handmade or custom gifts are ideal. He just wants to know that you were thinking of him – and only him – the entire time. I feel like he would adore a handmade or custom ordered collar or harness, but he would also love something like a handmade bouquet of paper/fabric flowers if it’s done well or a custom perfume. The other gift that would melt his heart would be your time. Get him spa vouchers and have a spa day with him, plan an entire date and spoil him, or offer to be his maid/butler for a full day (extra points if you dress up for him). More than anything, he wants you.

Beelzebub

Beel gets so excited to try all the limited-time and seasonal foods near the end of the year, and, of course, he’s even more excited to eat them with you. So, surprisingly, he manages to squeeze a lot of dates in around the holidays. He’ll invite you to some café or restaurant – anywhere that sells food and drinks – almost every other day. However, Beel isn’t as selfish with your time, so he doesn’t mind if the others tag along – especially Belphie and Luke. If he really wants you to himself, he’ll invite you when no one else is around and tell you to keep it a secret.

He makes a long list of food and drinks that he wants Luke, Simeon, and Barbatos to make for the party – not that they need it, but they’ll take a look, nonetheless. They use him to taste test all their food. Other than that, he helps decorate, bring in ingredients, and carry things while the others shop. If it involves manual labor, Beel is happy to help. He wants the party to go well so it will make you and his brothers (and the others) happy.

Spends most of the party snacking and playing games. He’ll drink the one glass of Demonus that gets served to him to toast with. Otherwise, he’ll only consume alcohol if it’s put in a particularly delicious looking drink.

Lets you sit on his lap while playing games – even if the others complain about it. As long as you want to, he doesn’t mind. In fact, he’d be delighted if you chose to sit on him when given a multitude of other options (including an actual chair). How adorable would he be just wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder?

At some point in the party, when he’s temporarily satiated his hunger, he’ll try to get you alone for a bit. He’ll ask you to take a short walk or just get some air with him. He wants to be somewhere quieter with you. Besides, if you’re outside and it’s cold, that’s a perfect excuse for him to hold your hand or pull you in close. If he’s feeling bold, he might try to kiss you.

Gifts – giving: He (almost) always has food on his mind, so his first instinct is to give you food as a present. Things like seasonal candies and drink mixes are the most likely contenders. Beel would buy multiples of whatever he bought you for himself. That way he won’t be as tempted to eat your present. Additionally, that means he can try the food or drinks with you. He loves the experience of eating with you and seeing your face light up when you try something delicious. Therefore, another present he might offer would be tickets for a restaurant tour or food-based fair. You could go with him and sample amazing food until you’re too full to move – if you want.

Gifts – receiving: Obviously, getting him food is the easiest option, but you should make sure you put some more effort and thought into it. Seasonal and limited-time options are great, but he would appreciate a more personal touch. Instead, if you can cook, you could do something like schedule a date to prepare a homemade full-course meal just for Beel, making whatever food he requested. You could also make him a huge box of assorted sweets – chocolates, cookies, pastries, etc. He’d appreciate how much time you spent. If you tell him that you thought of him the whole time, he would melt on the spot. Beel would also be happy to get tickets for food tours or fairs – as long as you, and maybe Belphie, can go with him. Outside of food-related gifts, Beel isn’t opposed to getting clothes from you, especially if you buy something that matches with an item you own. You could get him jewelry, so long as it’ll be okay coming in contact with heat and sweat. Since you gave it to him, he’s going to want to wear it often – including during his workouts. He’d prefer necklaces; it feels like he’s keeping you close to his heart that way.

Belphegor

Other than looking into human world traditions, he’s pretty useless in the party planning stages. He tends to fall asleep when he’s instructed to clean or decorate, so he doesn’t get much done. Although, I guess if you count setting up pranks on Lucifer as “helping out,” he’s a bit more useful.

He takes advantage of the cold weather as an excuse to cuddle and nap with you. “It’s too cold to sleep alone. You have to sleep with me, or I won’t rest as well.” He makes it a habit of trying to sleep with you as often as possible. Aside: he strikes me as one of those people with cold hands, and as winter approaches, he’ll use that to tease you. Belphie will slip his hands under your clothes or between your thighs to warm them up, and when you look at him, he’ll feign innocence. What a little shit.

If the planetarium or botanical gardens have a special exhibit, he’d ask you to go on a date there, but he’s not picky about whether it happens before or after the holidays – just promise to spend time alone with him.

He’s not that enthusiastic about the party, but if you seem excited, he’ll take some interest in it. He’ll stay awake long enough to dance with you, play a few games, and see if any of the pranks they set up for Lucifer succeed.

Drags you somewhere secluded during the party, claiming that he wants to take a nap and that you should help him fall asleep, but he’d much rather make out with you until he’s a blushing, panting mess. He can always take a nap after that. It’s a pretty obvious ruse since he will probably fall asleep a few times in the middle of the party with no assistance.

Regardless of when the party is, Belphie insists on sleeping with you the night before the holiday (if it’s a multi-day holiday, then at least the first day of it) and the night before the New Year. If the party is on the night before the holiday/New Year’s Eve, he either tells you to come find him when you’re tired or he’ll stay by your side the entire night. He wants to start the holiday/New Year perfectly, and that means waking up next to you – preferably in your arms. Especially for the New Year, he wants to be the last person you see at the end of the year and the first person you see at the beginning. If he can also be your last and first kiss of the year, he’d be pleased. (Also, if he has the energy, he wants to be the first person you fuck that year too).

Gifts – giving: Himself. Canonically, he’s already done this, but he just likes the idea of offering himself up to you and that you would want him more than anything else, so I could see him doing it again. If he feels compelled to give you an actual present, he’d probably get you matching pajamas. How jealous would the others be if they saw that he had not only crawled into your bed again, but he was also wearing the same pajamas as you? He would feel such a wicked joy from it. Belphie might also give you star-themed accessories, so you’ll always think of him whenever you put it on. For the same possessive reasons as some of his older brothers, Belphie would probably give you a necklace or bracelet.

Gifts – receiving: An alarm clock that actually works on him. Belphie is pretty easy to please as long as you show that you were thinking about him. He’ll gladly take comfortable bedding, pillows, or pajamas. You could also offer to give yourself to him. The only problem is that as much as he loves the idea of having you all to himself for a full day or two, he’ll complain about wanting to keep you as his for longer. “Aww, MC. I don’t want to give you up. Can’t you stay my servant for a few more days. I’ll treat you so well. Don’t you want to keep spoiling me?” He’s grateful, but he likes you doting on him too much. Additionally, he’s another one you could give kinky stuff to. Give him toys and promise to use them on him. Similarly, I feel like he would be delighted if you tied him up, wrapped a soft bow around him (wherever you please), and told him that his gift was going to be that you were going to “take care of him” for a full day. sorry

(the others version)

[splatsvilles-fashionista]

Splatoon 3 Version 8.0 patch notes breakdown

A bit late with this one, as I didn't have the time to write it last night, but nevertheless, here's a quick rundown of the patch notes for version 8.0, which should release in a couple of hours as of time of writing.

First of all, the Sizzle Season 2024 content is being added, but will not be available for another 24-ish hours. That includes:

A new Catalog

The new stage Lemuria Hub

Two new main weapons, two variants of those main weapons, and six alternate sets for preexisting main weapons.

14 Tableturf cards

Two new songs by SashiMori

The renovated Hammerhead Bridge and Barnacle & Dime, which will be taken out of stage rotations when the update becomes available.

Wandercrust Journey 6.

Additionally, this patch also adds data for the new Triumvirate King Salmonid fight and a new Grizzco Weapon, as well as the new Splatfest features, both of which will not become available until a later date.

With Sizzle Season 2024 stuff out of the way, let's move onto the changes that will be available right away, starting with Stage Changes, which there are a lot of.

In addition the Hammerhead Bridge and Barnacle & Dime changes, Museum d'Alfonsino, Um'ami Ruins, Brinewater Springs, and Scorch Gorge are all getting layout changes, with Museum getting some extra changes in Splat Zones and Rainmaker specifically. Eeltail Alley, Hagglefish Market, Flounder Heights, Marlin Airport and Manta Maria are all getting "slight" changes, while Crableg Capital and Bluefin Depot are getting slight changes in Turf War and Splat Zones, and Clam Blitz, respectively.

I'll be entirely honest, until we see these changes for ourselves it's impossible to gauge just what these changes will be like, but I am willing to be optimistic given just how much improvement we've seen in the Stage design over the last year or so. I think they'll be slight improvements at worst.

With that said, let's move onto Main Weapon changes, starting with a bunch of weapons getting the exact same change.

Sploosh, Jr, Aerospray, Luna, Clash, Carbon, Splat Roller, Inkbrush, Octobrush, and Dapples will all now deal 10% more damage to Splash Walls. I'm not sure why this was listed on each weapon individually and not just all collected as a Splash Wall change, but I digress. The intent here seems to be to make short-range weapons specifically, better at dealing with Splash Wall, the users of which they'll generally be outranged by to begin with. It's a small and specific change, but it's not one I think any of these weapons will complain about.

N-ZAP will now be able to fire for longer before its hits max bullet spread. In case you didn't know, all shooters that have bullet spread have a property where that spread gradually increases the longer you hold ZR, which slowly goes back to normal if you stop firing, and now that'll take longer on N-ZAP specifically.

N-Zap didn't really need this buff, but it's also not something that moves the needle much to begin with. It's pretty rare outside of low-level turf wars that someone fires for long enough to the spread to be a major factor, so it's fine. It's just a very strange change.

Moving onto more deserved buffs, L-3 has its damage increased by 2, taking a full three-hit burst from 87 to 93 damage. This is not a significant change, but 30 is a pretty important damage threshold to hit, as it combos with a lot of things, and it does mean that getting even lightly chipped by almost anything at all puts you in one-shot range, so watch out!

Rapid Blaster now starts recovering ink after firing about 3 frames faster. It's another nice little buff, though like N-ZAP it is kind of strange this weapon is being buffed at all when it's in a pretty good spot right now.

Now here's something interesting, Tri-Stringer will now paint the ground better, and will now paint lines more consistently. Turfing has always been one of Tri-Stringer's biggest weaknesses, so this is a very nice buff!

Last but not least is my favourite change in the entire patch. REEF-LUX now charges at full speed while in the air, similar to how Squiffer works. This is just a fantastically cool buff if you ask me, it's one of those things that seem insignificant on paper but can really change up how a weapon plays in a major way. It wasn't until after Squiffer got this change in Splatoon 2 that the weapon really came into its own, after all.

With Main Weapon changes down, let's move onto Points for Special changes, of which there are four (technically three):

Big Swig Express and Painbrush are ten points cheaper, and both variants of E-Liter are ten points more expensive. Not a lot to discuss here, so let's move onto Special Weapons:

The rails that indicate the Reefslider's path will now ink the floor as they extend forward, potentially allowing you paint over an enemy's feet before running them over. The rail will now also follow moving terrain, which is a change I'll admit I am not sure what it does? We'll just have to see when the patch goes live.

Big Bubbler now paints the ground inside of the shield. A nice quality of life change that could potentially be used to do some silly things in Splat Zones, if you're so inclined.

Ink Vac will now paint the ground behind you while it's active. Nintendo specifies later on in the patch notes that this is because they want you to be more reliably able to use it while retreating, and yeah, that's what this change will do.

For our final Special change, Splattercolor Screen now deals more damage to Beakons, Sprinkler, Splash Wall, sponges, and the Rainmaker's shield. Like with the Ink Vac changes, Nintendo specifies what the purpose of this buff is in the patch notes, and in this case it's to reward people more for using the Screen well.

And that's all the balance changes for this patch, but there is actually one more Main Weapon change that is not listed with the rest, because it's a bit different:

These changes are very wordy, but the TL;DR is that Squeezer now has a hard cap on how fast it can fire, which is the same as its regular fire speed. That might sound like a completely pointless change, and I thought so initially as well, but it seems the intent here is to not have the weapon be improved by turbo controllers, as they can let you mash ZR at much, much faster paces than intended.

With all that said, let's round things out with some miscellaneous changes:

If you roll or dash into the Rainmaker shield you'll now slide off it, as opposed to the game continuously attempting to place you where the shield is at and dealing a bunch of contact damage to you, splatting you almost instantly.

You'll now start the next season in S+0 if you were top 1000 in the previous season's X rank.

Squid Beakons are now accounted for when awarding the Super Jump Spot medal, which I am frankly surprised wasn't the case already?

I lied, there is one more Main Weapon change. Grizzco Dualies now deal 5 more damage with their actual bullets. That means they three-shot Chum now!

Reflected Drizzler torpedoes will now collide with terrain less, reducing the situations where you shoot one back only to have it immediately crash into a ledge it just barely touches.

Finally, purchasing the Expansion Pass will now net you 10 free Sheldon Licenses. If you've already bought the Expansion Pass then you'll be given the Licenses after downloading the update. Just in time for ten new weapons to be added as part of the Sizzle Season!