#i'll keep using fairy of course. but i will be bothered about it forever

[merrymorningofmay]

no word for "fairy" in anglo-norman/old french dictionaries which means that i technically should not be using it but writing "daoine sidhe" 50 times per page would break the immersion + what is the singular + how do you make an adjective *collapses and dies*

[theoutcastwrites]

I finally did it. Here are some Genshin-style voicelines I wrote for my Genshin OC, Eir, for whom I will soon make a separate post detailing her backstory and the like.

Eir

A hardworking nurse of Bimarstan. Though her past is shrouded in mystery to most, it takes no more than a careful look to see that her shadow takes the form of a long fallen kingdom.

Hello

My name is Eir. I've been told a lot about you... By whom? Oh, it doesn't matter. If you ever need me, feel free to find me at Bimarstan. I'll be happy to lend a helping hand.

Chat: Work.

I hope I won't have any more patients today... For their sakes.

Chat: Scars

My scars? No, they don't bother me anymore, you need not worry. I can't imagine myself without them now; how I got them is a story for another time. Let's not waste time, alright?

Chat: Wood carving

Say, would you like me to carve something for you? I'll make it small, so that you may easily keep it in your pocket... What? You have a realm that can be accessed through a teapot? That's... Would you happen to have spare cedar wood there? I'll get straight to work.

When It Rains

Oh, not now... Come on, let's find shelter.

When Thunder Strikes

I have heard that Inazumans find comfort in the thunder, as it is a sign that their Archon is watching over them... Hmph. Elsewhere, this was a signal for catastrophe.

When It Snows

Make "snow angels"? Ah, that... No, sorry. I suppose I'm far too old for something like that.

When The Sun Is Out

The world has never looked more beautiful. Come on, let's head outside.

In The Desert

Do you think we could go back? I don't really- ah, nevermind.

Good Morning

I hope you slept well. There's some coffee on the table; drink some, you'll feel energized. As for me, I've got to get ready for work. I'll see you in the evening, alright?

Good Afternoon

Let's have lunch together. I know just the place.

Good Evening

You're here! How sweet of you to wait for me. Come on, I'll make us dinner - it's an old recipe.

Goodnight

Thank you for being with me today. It's less lonely with you by my side. Now, feel free to sleep here. I promise my bed is comfortable. Hm? No, I don't mind, I don't sleep anyway... H-Hey, just not that side, alright?

About Eir: Curse

I can feel my mind eroding. It's terrifying, is it not? One day, I will be turned into an empty shell of myself, every inch of my identity replaced by my curse. Sometimes, I wonder what they felt in their last moments. Did they know that they were being turned into monsters, doomed to wander Teyvat for all eternity?

About Eir: Letting Go

Some people can't be kept in your life forever, no matter how much you may wish otherwise. Be it fate or that person's will, there is always something that gets in the way. I've learned not to have too much hope, and yet...

About Us: Odd Ones Out

Most people in Sumeru accept me as one of their own, yet I can feel them staring at me, as if I'm this strange, wounded kitten... I suppose you and I have that in common, hm? We stand out, without even having to try.

About Us: Loss

You needn't hide your pain from me. I know, better than most, how it feels to lose everything you love. I know. You deserve to feel angry. However, I believe that you will be reunited with your sibling sooner than later. As for myself, I don't expect too much. Worry for yourself first and foremost, alright?

About the Vision

Of course you'd notice. No, I'm not proud of it. Do I have reason to be? Celestia took everything from me, only to give me this piece of junk afterwards. If the day ever comes that I start using this Vision, just know that my curse has consumed my consciousness.

Something to Share

Take it slow. Appreciate the journey while it lasts; you never know when it may end.

Interesting Things

Say, have you noticed a little fairy running around Sumeru City these days? Short, pale, wearing a green dress? No? How strange. I could have sworn she was watching us earlier today.

About Dainsleif: Longing

Have you seen him recently? No? I figured. He comes and goes as he pleases. The next time you see him, tell him to take care. It's only a matter of time before he hurts himself, you know how he is... And, please, tell him that the swan misses her knight. I need him to know.

About Dainsleif: Memories

If I am fated to live a century more, then I will forget the days I spent with him, reminiscing what little we remembered of our past lives. Does that thought haunt him as it haunts me?

About Kaveh: First Meeting

Actually, I first met Kaveh when he was a student in the Akademiya. Funny, right? I have always looked the same, but back then, Kaveh had quite the baby face, only made worse by his luscious blonde hair, which he often wore in a braid. He was adorable. Don't tell him I said this though - he'll never talk to me again.

About Kaveh: Gifts

Kaveh once expressed that he wanted some wooden sculptures in his home, so I took it upon myself to make one for him: a tall lion with its mouth open in a roar. You don't want to know how long that one took to complete, believe me. Anyway, Kaveh would not stop showering me with praise and affection after receiving his gift. He teared up, too; I swear, he was wiping at his eyes for a moment there. Heh, maybe I should make something better next time. How would he react then?

About Albedo

Rhinedottir gave him a mission that is nigh impossible to complete and left his life without a trace. This is surprising to nobody. Is there a single person in this world she hasn't abandoned?

About Nilou

A few years ago, Nilou was taken to Bimarstan because she had sprained her ankle while preparing for a show. She was in tears, the poor thing. I could guess the sort of thoughts that were running through her head so, out of pity, I made an exception and used alchemy to heal her injury. I shouldn't have, though. What if something went wrong? Luckily, Nilou recovered within a day. She was so overjoyed that she jumped up from her bed to hug me, haha... I've been going to all of her shows ever since. There is a special air about her that awakens a person's most deeply buried feelings.

About Faruzan

It is nice to know that she has remained the same after a hundred years. Anyone else would have crumbled under the pressure of adapting to a new life, but not Faruzan. She was always such a bright child... Hm? Oh, no, I'm never calling her Madam Faruzan. In her dreams.

About Rhinedottir

I don't know how to feel about her. On one hand, I can understand that Rhinedottir is the sort of person who will do the unthinkable when she's been cornered, yet... What could push a person to betray their homeland? I'm not sure. But I'm still bitter. She was the closest thing I had to a mother, and she knew that, too. Did it cross her mind when she chose power over loyalty?

More About Eir I

What else do you want to know? I have forgotten most of my past and the present is quite mundane. If you think I'm hiding something, then you're mistaken. I just have nothing more to share.

More About Eir II

Well, if you really want to know more... When I was still a novice under Rhinedottir's care, I tried to create a small pet using what little knowledge of alchemy I had. As one would expect, my attempt was a miserable one. I'd managed to create a cat, but it didn't have a mouth, and its fur was all multicolored and spiky. I really tried hard to save it, you know, maybe find a way to make its existence more comfortable, but the pet simply didn't function as it should have. The poor thing died within two days, and I never got too cocky in my abilities again. It was a humbling experience.

More About Eir III

Seeing this city for the first time after the cataclysm felt insulting. How was it possible that the people here could be at so much peace, while I experienced unimaginable suffering just across the Wall of Samiel? I resented the locals and, for a time, refused any help they offered. I felt like Celestia simply wasn't done taunting me. I was right for assuming so - a Khaenri'ahn can never find peace in this world.

More About Eir IV

Attachment comes with the risk of being abandoned. This is something that Celestia will never let me forget. Even if I were to start praying to the Dendro God, I would still wind up all alone.

More About Eir V

You can never go back to the past. I know this better than most, and the Abyss Order should know it too... Yet they pursue their dream of reviving our fallen kingdom, blind to their own folly... Maybe you could be the one to stop them.

Eir's Hobbies

Eating lokum after a long day of work while watching the sun set from my kitchen window is the perfect way to end the day.

Eir's Troubles

I do hope he's doing okay...

Favorite Food

Shawarma. You can never really go wrong with that.

Least Favorite Food

I'm not picky, so I'll eat anything I'm offered.

Receiving a Gift I

This is sublime... Can you teach me to make this?

Receiving a Gift II

Not what I was expecting, but it's good!

Receiving a Gift III

Oh! Ah, do you mind if I finish this at home? I'm not really hungry right now.

Birthday

Make a wish. Come on, don't be shy - you don't need to tell me what you wished for. Just think about what you want the most, and then blow out the candles. Your wish will come true as long as you truly want it, I promise.

[the-fiction-witch]

Little Fairy P1

Media IRL

Character Thomas Brodie Sangster

Couple None

Rating Cute

I leant against the headboard, my book in hand bathed in the gentle glow from the lamp beside my bed. My body tucked up close to the covers to prevent the late autumn chill from freezing my toes. I should really get some sleep as I'm still not used to this goddamn 5:30 alarm. I looked away from my book for a moment as I heard some clattering from the room down the hall. Immediately I became suspicious until I heard fast feet running down the hall and soon enough my bedroom door opened to utter chaos. 

"I did it, daddy! I did it!" She yelled as she ran inside and jumped up onto my bed, little Lilly in her little rainbow PJs with one of her little doll houses in hand 

"Whoa whoa whoa," I told her getting her to settle down "Now, what's all this about?"

"I did it Daddy I did it!" She yelled

"Okay, first things first. You should be in bed. You have school tomorrow and you going to your mum's this weekend" I reminded her and she nodded a little sheepish "What are you still doing up?"

"Catching fairies!" She smiled 

"Lilly darling what have I told you, the fairies are very busy with all their work you shouldn't be bothering them trying to catch them. They do all their work so late so they don't get bothered." I explained pulling her onto my lap and giving her little blonde hair some kisses "Hey, they do all their work at night while all the little boys and girls are sleeping so they can get all their work done without getting disturbed" I explained "how you like it you were at school doing your work and a giant came along and tried to catch up and shove you in a jar" she giggled"you wouldn't like that would you?"

"No"

"That wouldn't be very nice would it?"

"No"

"Good girl, no more trying to catch the fairies there too busy. Now you need to get your glittery little bum to bed or you won't be ready for school tomorrow"

"But daddy I did catch a fairy! I did I did!"

"Did you know?"

"I did! She came in through my window and went to use the little fairy door under my bed but I caught her. I caught her in my little house. Now I'm gonna keep her forever!" 

"Forever? That's not very nice Lilly. How would you feel if someone shoved you in a little doll house and took you away forever"

"A big dolly house?"

"That's all you care about? All you worried how big the house is? Wouldn't you miss me? Wouldn't you miss Daddy? If someone took you away forever?"

"I would" She nods cuddling closer

"See you wouldn't like someone to take you away forever you'd miss your family, all your friends at school, all your teddies."

"But I want little pet fairy" 

"I know you do, you can keep her for tonight and tomorrow night you let this little fairy go okay? So she can go home to her family? And maybe if you’re very nice to her she might bring some friends who might want to stay with you"

"Okay daddy" she nods

"Good girl, come on then" I smiled lifting her up with me and taking her little doll house as went back to her little bedroom she climbed the ladder of her loft bed laying on her pillow under a sweet pink canopy that made the whole bed look like a princess castle, her room littered with her toys and teddies and her various fairy items including the little fairy door under her bed. I set the doll house on the side where she could see it from her bed. "Right, now you get some sleep, I'll see you in the morning," I told her tucking her in and giving her head a little kiss 

"Goodnight Daddy"

"Goodnight Lilly" I smiled 

"Will you say goodnight to my fairy too?"

"Of course" I chuckled going to the little house "Goodnight little fairy"

"Goodnight little fairy" she smiled

"Now little girl or little fairy it's bedtime so get some sleep" I told her closing her bedroom door and heading back to bed myself shutting the light off and trying to get some sleep.

I heard the alarm going off and I despaired utterly I felt like I'd been asleep for four minutes, I forced myself out of bed and did my usual morning business, a hot shower, got dressed got started on a quick breakfast and went up to Lilly’s room seeing her sleeping so soundly with her teddy. “Lilly, wakey, wakey sweetheart” I smiled giving her a gentle tickle 

“Ahhh noo tickle! No tickle!” She complained 

“Come on little lady, breakfast and then it’s time for school,” I told her helping her out of bed, and helping her brush her teeth and get dressed into her school uniform for school, and we headed down and had our breakfast “Remember we need to be home quick so we can pack your bag for your mums tomorrow,” I told her

“I know” she smiled “Will you look after my little fairy while I’m at school?” she asked getting her bag

“I will I promise” 

“Thank you,”

“Come on Lilly” I smiled taking her out just as the bus came around the corner “You be a good girl Lilly, I’ll pick you up later okay”

“I will, Look after my fairy daddy!”

“I will do darling go on now or you’ll be late” I told her helping her onto the bus and giving her a wave as the bus headed off to collect the next child. 

I went back into the house and cleaned up from breakfast, started on some little chores around the house, I needed to put a load of laundry on so I headed up and gathered some straggler clothes I had littered around my room, the bathroom and I headed into Lilly's room finding a few stray socks and such to make the load up. As I did I caught my eyes on the little doll house on her table, “Fairies” I chuckled to myself she has a thing about fairies, not sure why but I suppose every child is… weird. This is just her weird fascination. I’m sure one day she’ll learn the truth when she is a little older. But I stopped for a moment as a thought came through my mind she says she caught a fairy? I know it’s mostly just her imagination but… part of me was a little worried. I should have checked last night but I was just too tired. I should really check she hasn’t caught anything. Of course, she hadn’t caught a fairy but it could have been a spider, lighting bug, butterfly, something actually alive. So I should probably just check it’s not like… a mouse or anything. So I set the laundry down and peaked inside the small plastic window expecting to see nothing at all and at worst a butterfly or something but I stopped short utterly frozen by what I saw. Inside the little doll house stood a figure no taller than a doll for a moment I thought it was a doll but the movement corrected that in my mind.

She was small perfectly sized for the house, barefoot, in a small dress made of an orange and gold autumnal leaf leaving… little of her to the imagination her hair up in a bun with a small leaf tie, looking at herself in the reflective sticker on the wall meant to be a play mirror.

She looked… beautiful! And that body… holy fuck. Then again that may just be that I’ve been alone a while. 

But I couldn’t even explain it! It can’t be possible! Fairies can’t be real! 

[stealthnoodle]

Friends in Low Places: Let's Play Tears of the Kingdom

No plot, only hole.

I have finally sucked all the marrow from the bones of Hateno Village's quest scene, so I guess I'll move on, reluctantly but very fashionably.

Not to the main quest, though. I found a funky little cave nearby that led me to the beach and some handy boats parts, so it's a pirate's life for me now.

I hope at least one NPC just watched Link smack his motor to a halt in the middle of the sea and throw himself into the water grab handfuls of colorful fish, then barely make it back to his vessel before drowning. The Hero of Hyrule, everyone

My strategy for clearing the monster strongholds on PIRATE ISLAND involves a lot of hiding and hurling bombs and confusion flowers, like the noble swordsman I am.

I can clear out a pirate cove but clearing the pirates out of the nearby fishing village keeps resulting in their using my ass to swab their metaphorical deck, so I'll wander elsewhere for a bit.

This thing will kick my ass, right? Just absolutely demolish me without breaking a sweat? Let's find out:

Called it!

Gonna throw myself into Charybdis over here instead of at Scylla again, on the grounds it can't possibly go worse for me.

…Huh, finally a stupid thing I've done is both survivable AND in fact a thing I was intended to do:

Speaking of stupid things, here I am solving a "we took all your equipment, good luck" combat challenge:

Anyway I just remembered I paid ten Poes for directions to an underground Poe-buying statue, so down I go!

This thing will not be my friend even if I ask it very nicely. See, I am capable of learning!

However, I remain incapable of learning that when I talk to random researchers in the chasms, they will turn into assassins and come after me. Every time I come up like, hello new friend! Lovely day here in the depths, isn't it? I say, what a remarkably swift change of clothes! Are you asking me to admire your sharp knives? I'd be more than happy to, but it's difficult for me to see them clearly when they're moving so quickly at my vital organs, my good chum!

OH my GOD I can magically autobuild from blueprints??? I am WEEPING with joy. Best power. BEST POWER.

AUTOBUILD MY BELOVED

Why, how lovely to make your acquaintance in this dark corner of the chasm, my good fellow! Please do regale me with tales of your research! Researching the sharpness of swords, are you? Splendid! I don't mind telling you that the one you're swinging about now is exceedingly sharp!

MISSION ABORT:

Hail and well met, my studious fellow! Why yes, I would be most eager to hear about your dissertation! On the topic of stabbing, is it? Of course I'd be delighted to participate in your research!

Call me Spider-Man's ill-fated Broadway debut because I sure am turning off the dark:

Okay let's remember the world above for a bit. I'm too beautiful to hide myself away forever:

I enjoyed getting the musicians across a river because they complain a lot about being jostled but I still got to swing them dangerously around quite a bit before they put their fancy feet down. Idk why I'm bothering with Great Fairies, though, because they never want to let me enhance the only clothing I care about.

Another thing I enjoy: abruptly realizing I have been misinterpreting the eye parts of the steward constructs. Pretty sure the game wants me to see the image on the left, rather what I've been seeing on the right:

[bookishjules]

Jules, for the prompt: Percabeth 😭💖 I miss them

SEND ME A CHARACTER/SHIP AND I'LL WRITE A TINY FIC USING A PROMPT GENERATOR ✏️

The randomly generated prompt: Write a 250 word story in the fairy tale genre. It's about an obedient slave and should include a story. Also use the sentence 'You have my permission.' Bonus prompt: Your character has a world-changing idea.

Annabeth shut the book she’d been reading and tossed it onto the bed in front of her.

“You don’t want to finish the story?” Percy’s playful voice reverberated through Annabeth’s head, which she had propped against his stomach.

They had spent the past couple weeks of stolen moments making their way through this book Percy had taken from the castle library. It was generally enjoyable, but Annabeth had had a bad day and she couldn’t help feeling cynical.

“Why bother? We know how it’ll end—the boy gets the girl. Happily ever after.” Feeling the weight of her own words, Annabeth shut her eyes and let her head slide down from Percy’s stomach to his lap.

“I happen to like a happily ever after,” Percy contested, lifting one of Annabeth’s many errant curls.

Annabeth opened one eye and glared at her beloved prince. It was a good thing he was pretty, because he could say the stupidest things.

If it was a happily ever after he was looking for, he would be hard-pressed to find it with her. She was a slave in the royal household, and thus forbidden by law from maintaining any sort of relation with the crown. Even if Percy managed to convince his family or the judges to grant her pardon, someone would have to be punished, and her family would probably be next in line for execution.

Percy smiled down at her. “Any ever after where we’re together will be a happy one for me.”

Annabeth shut her eyes again, if only to avoid revealing the affect his words had on her in that moment. They couldn’t live on wistful dreams and hopes of fairytale endings forever, and she’d be wise to remember that. She didn’t want to keep playing this game of secrets, had never wanted to. There had to be a way . . .

She shot into a sitting position and twisted around, eyes wide now and she met Percy’s startled gaze.

“Percy,” she said slowly.

“All of that just to say my name?”

Annabeth ignored this, looking past him as her mind whirled with sudden possibilities. “What if . . . I mean—it wouldn’t necessarily be simple. And it would take time, of course—I don’t know how long. But, Percy . . .” She forced herself to meet the prince’s eyes again.

His eyebrows were raised. He knew better than to interrupt her in moments like this.

“You know, as my prince, that I would never disobey you. I know better than to do so—and I respect you and your family too much.” Annabeth took a deep breath, all too aware of how lightly she had to tread. “I couldn’t leave my position as a slave willingly, but what if I was forced to? If I did something worthy of banishment, you would you have to send me away from the castle. I would be disconnected from my family.”

Percy’s patience broke. “Annabeth, why would you—”

“Percy.” Her voice cut through his, tying down the storm that was clearly waiting to surface inside him. “What other chance do we have? If I was banished—if I could get to a new kingdom—I would be nobody, with no preceding reputation. I could build a life for myself, until I’m worthy of a prince.”

Annabeth’s suggestion settled in the silence between them.

“You’re already worthy of me,” Percy said softly, reaching to take her hand.

“Not on the outside though.” She looked down, unable to meet his eyes as she said, “Percy, I can’t keep hiding for the rest of my life. I couldn’t live with myself knowing I might be depriving you of the relationship, even the future family, that you deserve—or that I’d be depriving myself of that.”

She brought her eyes back up to meet Percy’s. “I love you. I don’t want to keep living in a world where that’s considered a crime.” Annabeth tightened her grip on Percy’s hand. “So I need you to allow me to steal from the crown. I need you to let me go so that I can return for you.”

Percy’s sea-green eyes were the opposite of empty. They were filled with sadness and love and understanding. There wasn’t another person in the world who could understand her so completely.

He scooted himself forward, silently drawing Annabeth into his arms, pulling her as close to him as possible. “You have my permission,” he said into her hair.

Thank you thank you!!🥰 Sorry for making you wait so long lol I was so excited about this and then realized all I'm doing with most of these "tiny fics" is just starting stories I'll never finish.. and I felt bad!! but I've gotten over myself, discarded the suggestion to only write 250 words (pls), and finally finished the story!! I hope you enjoy imagining Prince Percy as I do hehe

[im-just-trying-to-get-bi]

Charming: Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, the king and queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. And throughout the land, everyone was happy... until the sun went down and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment that took hold each and every night. Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother who had them lock the young princess away in a tower, there to await the kiss... of the handsome Prince Charming. It was he who would chance the perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching desert traveling for many days and nights, risking life and limb to reach the Dragon's keep. For he was the bravest, and most handsome... in all the land. And it was destiny that his kiss would break the dreaded curse. He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to enter the princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, pull back the gossamer curtains to find her-- [gasps] Big Bad Wolf: What? Charming: Princess... Fiona? Big Bad Wolf: No! Charming: Oh, thank heavens. Where is she? Big Bad Wolf: She's on her honeymoon. Charming: Honeymoon? With whom? So she said what's the problem, baby? What's the problem? I don't know Well, maybe I'm in love Think about it every time I think 'bout it Can't stop thinking 'bout it How much longer will it take to cure this? Just to cure it, 'cause I can't ignore it If it's love, love Makes me wanna turn around and face me But I don't know nothing 'bout love Oh, come on, come on - Turn a little faster Come on, come on The world will follow after Come on, come on Everybody's after love So I said I'm a snowball running Running down into this spring that's coming all this love Melting under blue skies belting out sunlight Shimmering love Well, baby, I surrender To the strawberry ice cream Never ever end of all this love Well, I didn't mean to do it But there's no escaping your love These lines of lightning mean we're never alone Never alone, no, no Come on, come on Jump a little higher Come on, come on If you feel a little lighter Come on, come on We were once upon a time in love Hyah! We're accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love Accidentally in love I'm in love I'm in love It's so good to be home. Just you and me and... - Two can be as bad as one... - Donkey? Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes! Give us a hug, Shrek, you old love machine. And look at you, Mrs. Shrek. How 'bout a side of sugar for the steed? Donkey, what are you doing here? Taking care of your love nest for you. Oh, you mean like... sorting the mail and watering the plants? - Yeah, and feeding the fish! - I don't have any fish. You do now. I call that one Shrek and the other Fiona. That Shrek is a rascally devil. Get your... Look at the time. I guess you'd better be going. Don't you want to tell me about your trip? Or how about a game of Parcheesi? Actually, Donkey? Shouldn't you be getting home to Dragon? Oh, yeah, that. I don't know. She's been all moody and stuff lately. I thought I'd move in with you. You know we're always happy to see you, Donkey. But Fiona and I are married now. We need a little time, you know, to be together. Just with each other. Alone. Say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing. I will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you. - Donkey. - Yes, roomie? You're bothering me. Oh, OK. All right, cool. I guess... Me and Pinocchio was going to catch a tournament, anyway, so... Maybe I'll see y'all Sunday for a barbecue or something. He'll be fine. Now, where were we? Oh. I think I remember. - Donkey! I know, I know! Alone! I'm going! I'm going. What do you want me to tell these other guys? Enough, Reggie. "Dearest Princess Fiona. You are hereby summoned to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away for a royal ball in celebration of your marriage at which time the King will bestow his royal blessing... upon you and

your...uh... Prince Charming. Love, the King and Queen of Far, Far Away. aka Mom and Dad." Mom and Dad? - Prince Charming? - Royal ball?! Can I come? - We're not going. - What?! I mean, don't you think they might be a bit... shocked to see you like this? Well, they might be a bit surprised. But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. And don't worry. They'll love you, too. Yeah, right. Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club. Stop it. They're not like that. How do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band? Oh, come on! You could at least give them a chance. To do what? Sharpen their pitchforks? No! They just want to give you their blessing. Oh, great. Now I need their blessing? If you want to be a part of this family, yes! Who says I want to be part of this family? You did! When you married me! Well, there's some fine print for you! So that's it? You won't come? Trust me. It's a bad idea. We are not going! And that's final! Come on! We don't want to hit traffic! Don't worry! We'll take care of everything. - Hey, wait for me. Oof! Hit it! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Head 'em up, move 'em on! Head 'em up! Rawhide! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Rawhide! Ride 'em up! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Rawhide! Knock 'em out! Pound 'em dead! Make 'em tea! Buy 'em drinks! Meet their mamas! Milk 'em hard! Rawhide! Yee-haw! - Are we there yet? - No. - Are we there yet? - Not yet. - OK, are we there yet? - No. - Are we there yet? - No! - Are we there yet? - No! - Are we there yet? - No! - Are we there yet?! - We are not! - Are we there yet?! - Yes! - Really?! - No!! - Are we there yet? - That's not funny. That's really immature. - This is why nobody likes ogres. - Your loss! - I'm gonna just stop talking. - Finally! This is taking forever, Shrek. There's no in-flight movie or nothing! The Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey. That's where we're going. Far, far... away! All right, all right, I get it. I'm just so darn bored. Well, find a way to entertain yourself. For five minutes... Could you not be yourself... for five minutes?! Are we there yet?! - Yes! - Oh, finally! Wow! It's going to be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on. Hey, good-looking! We'll be back to pick you up later! Gotta make a move to a town that's right for me We are definitely not in the swamp anymore. Halt! Well, I talk about it, talk about it, talk about it, talk about it Hey, everyone, look. Talk about, talk about movin'... Hey, ladies! Nice day for a parade, huh? You working that hat. Swimming pools! Movie stars! Announcing the long-awaited return of the beautiful Princess Fiona and her new husband. Well, this is it. - This is it. - This is it. This is it. Uh... why don't you guys go ahead? I'll park the car. So... you still think this was a good idea? Of course! Look. Mom and Dad look happy to see us. - Who on earth are they? - I think that's our little girl. That's not little! That's a really big problem. Wasn't she supposed to kiss Prince Charming and break the spell? Well, he's no Prince Charming, but they do look... Happy now? We came. We saw them. Now let's go before they light the torches. - They're my parents. - Hello? They locked you in a tower. That was for my own... Good! Here's our chance. Let's go back inside and pretend we're not home. Harold, we have to be... Quick! While they're not looking we can make a run for it. Shrek, stop it! Everything's gonna be... A disaster! There is no way... - You can do this. - I really... - Really... - don't... want... to... be... Here! Mom... Dad... I'd like you to meet my husband... Shrek. Well, um... It's easy to see where Fiona gets her good looks from. - Excuse me. Better out than in, I always say, eh, Fiona? That's good. I guess not. What do you mean, not on the list? Don't tell me you don't know who I am. What do you mean, not on the list? Don't tell me you don't know who I am. What's happening, everybody? Thanks for waiting. - I had the hardest time finding this place. - No! No! Bad donkey! Bad! Down! No, Dad! It's all

right. It's all right. He's with us. - He helped rescue me from the dragon. - That's me: the noble steed. Waiter! How 'bout a bowl for the steed? Oh, boy. - Um, Shrek? - Yeah? Oh, sorry! Great soup, Mrs Q. Mmm! No, no. Darling. Oh! So, Fiona, tell us about where you live. Well... Shrek owns his own land. - Don't you, honey? - Oh, yes! It's in an enchanted forest abundant in squirrels and cute little duckies and... What?! I know you ain't talking about the swamp. An ogre from a swamp. Oh! How original. I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children. It's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't it? - indeed. I just started eating. - Harold! - What's that supposed to mean? - Dad. It's great. OK? - For his type. Yes. - My type?! I got to go to the bathroom. - Dinner is served! - Never mind. I can hold it. Bon appetite! Oh, Mexican food! My favorite. Let's not sit here with our tummies rumbling. Everybody, dig in. Don't mind if I do, Lillian. I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be... Ogres. Yes! Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold? Oh, no! No! Of course, not! That is, assuming you don't eat your own young! Dad! No, we usually prefer the ones who've been locked away in a tower! - Shrek, please! - I only did that because I love her. Aye, day care or dragon-guarded castle. You wouldn't understand. You're not her father. It's so nice to have the family together for dinner. - Harold! - Shrek! - Fiona! - Fiona! - Mom! - Harold... Donkey! Your fallen tears have called to me So, here comes my sweet remedy I know what every princess needs For her to live life happily... Oh, my dear. Oh, look at you. You're all grown up. - Who are you? - Oh, sweet pea! I'm your fairy godmother. - I have a fairy godmother? - Shush, shush. Now, don't worry. I'm here to make it all better. With just a... Wave of my magic wand Your troubles will soon be gone With a flick of the wrist and just a flash You'll land a prince with a ton of cash A high-priced dress made by mice no less Some crystal glass pumps And no more stress Your worries will vanish, your soul will cleanse Confide in your very own furniture friends We'll help you set a new fashion trend - I'll make you fancy, I'll make you great - The kind of girl a prince would date! They'll write your name on the bathroom wall... For a happy ever after, give Fiona a call! A sporty carriage to ride in style, Sexy man boy chauffeur, Kyle Banish your blemishes, tooth decay, Cellulite thighs will fade away And oh, what the hey! Have a bichon fris!' Nip and tuck, here and there to land that prince with the perfect hair Lipstick liners, shadows blush To get that prince with the sexy tush Lucky day, hunk buffet You and your prince take a roll in the hay You can spoon on the moon With the prince to the tune Don't be drab, you'll be fab Your prince will have rock-hard abs Cheese souffle, Valentine's Day Have some chicken fricassee! Nip and tuck, here and there To land that prince with the perfect hair Stop! Look... Thank you very much, Fairy Godmother, but I really don't need all this. - Fine. Be that way. - We didn't like you, anyway. - Fiona? Fiona? Oh! You got a puppy? All I got in my room was shampoo. Oh, uh... Fairy Godmother, furniture... I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek. Your husband?! What? What did you say? When did this happen? Shrek is the one who rescued me. - But that can't be right. - Oh, great. More relatives! She's just trying to help. Good! She can help us pack. Get your coat, dear. We're leaving. - What?! - I don't want to leave. When did you decide this? - Shortly after arriving. - Look, I'm sorry... No. That's all right. I need to go, anyway. But remember, dear. If you should ever need me... happiness... is just a teardrop away. Thanks, but we've got all the happiness we need. Happy, happy, happy... So I see. Let's go, Kyle. - Very nice, Shrek. - What? I told you coming here was a bad idea. You could've at least tried to get along with my father. I don't think I was going to get Daddy's blessing, even if I did want it. Do you

think it might be nice if somebody asked me what I wanted? Sure. Do you want me to pack for you? You're unbelievable! You're behaving like a... - Go on! Say it! - Like an ogre! Here's a news flash for you! Whether your parents like it or not... I am an ogre! And guess what, Princess? That's not about to change. I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that. That's real smooth, Shrek. I'm an ogre! I knew this would happen. You should. You started it. I can hardly believe that, Lillian. He's the ogre. Not me. I think, Harold, you're taking this a little too personally. This is Fiona's choice. But she was supposed to choose the prince we picked for her. I mean, you expect me to give my blessings to this... thing? Fiona does. And she'll never forgive you if you don't. I don't want to lose our daughter again, Harold. Oh, you act as if love is totally predictable. Don't you remember when we were young? We used to walk down by the lily pond and... - they were in bloom... - Our first kiss. It's not the same! I don't think you realize that our daughter has married a monster! Oh, stop being such a drama king. Fine! Pretend there's nothing wrong! La, di, da, di, da! Isn't it all wonderful! I'd like to know how it could get any worse! - Hello, Harold. - What happened? - Nothing, dear! Just the old crusade wound playing up a bit! I'll just stretch it out here for a while. You better get in. We need to talk. Actually, Fairy Godmother, off to bed. Already taken my pills, and they tend to make me a bit drowsy. So, how about... we make this a quick visit. What? Oh, hello. Ha-ha-ha! So, what's new? You remember my son, Prince Charming?! ls that you? My gosh! It's been years. When did you get back? Oh, about five minutes ago, actually. After I endured blistering winds, scorching desert... I climbed to the highest room in the tallest tower... Mommy can handle this. He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower... And what does he find? Some gender-confused wolf telling him that his princess... is already married. It wasn't my fault. He didn't get there in time. Stop the car! Harold. You force me to do something. I really don't want to do. Where are we? Hi. Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy! May I take your order? My diet is ruined! I hope you're happy. Uh... Okay. Two Renaissance Wraps, no mayo... chili rings... - I'll have the Medieval Meal. - One Medieval Meal, and, Harold... - Curly fries? - No, thank you. - Sourdough soft taco, then? - No, really, I'm fine. Your order, Fairy Godmother. This comes with the Medieval Meal. There you are, dear. We made a deal, Harold. And I assume you don't want me to go back on my part. Indeed not. So, Fiona and Charming will be together. - Yes. - Believe me, Harold. It's what's best. Not only for your daughter... But for your Kingdom. What am I supposed to do about it? Use your imagination. Oh... Come on in, Your Majesty. I like my town With a little drop of poison Nobody knows... Excuse me. Do I know you? No, you must be mistaking me for someone else. Uh... excuse me. I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister. Ah! There you are. Right. You see, I need to have someone taken care of. - Who's the guy? - Well, he's not a guy, per se. Um... He's an ogre. Hey, buddy, let me clue you in. There's only one fellow who can handle a job like that, and, frankly... he don't like to be disturbed. he don't like to be disturbed. Where could I find him? Hello? Who dares enter my room? Sorry! I hope I'm not interrupting, but I'm told you're the one to talk to about an ogre problem? You are told correct. But for this, I charge a great deal of money. Would... this be enough? You have engaged my valuable services, Your Majesty. Just tell me where I can find this ogre. Everyone says I'm getting down too low Everyone says you've just gotta let it go You just gotta let it go I need some sleep Time to put the old horse down I'm in too deep And the wheels keep spinning round Everyone says you've just gotta let it go Everyone says you've just gotta let it go Dear

Knight, I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude. Dear Diary... Sleeping Beauty is having a slumber party tomorrow, but Dad says I can't go. He never lets me out after sunset. Dad says I'm going away for a while. Must be like some finishing school. Mom says that when I'm old enough, my Prince Charming will rescue me from my tower and bring me back to my family, and we'll all live happily ever after. Mrs. Fiona Charming. Mrs. Fiona Charming. Mrs. Fiona Charming. Mrs. Fiona Charming. Sorry. I hope I'm not interrupting anything. No. No. I was just reading a, uh... a scary book. I was hoping you'd let me apologize for my despicable behavior earlier. - Okay... - I don't know what came over me. Do you suppose we could pretend it never happened and start over... - Look, Your Majesty, I just... - Please. Call me. Dad. Dad. We both acted like ogres. Maybe we just need some time to get to know each other? Excellent idea! I was actually hoping you might join me for a morning hunt. A little father-son time? I know it would mean the world to Fiona. Shall we say, Face it, Donkey! We're lost. We can't be lost. We followed the King's instructions exactly. Head to the darkest part of the woods...Past the sinister trees with scary-looking branches.- The bush shaped like Shirley Bassey! - We passed that three times already! You were the one who said not to stop for directions. Oh, great. My one chance to fix things up with Fiona's dad and I end up lost in the woods with you! Don't get huffy! I'm only trying to help. I know! I know. - I'm sorry, all right? - Hey, don't worry about it. I just really need to make things work with this guy. Yeah, sure. Now let's go bond with Daddy. Well, well, well, Donkey. I know it was kind of a tender moment back there, but the purring? What? I ain't purring. Sure. What's next? A hug? Hey, Shrek. Donkeys don't purr. What do you think I am, some kind of a... Ha-ha! Fear me, if you dare! Look! A little cat. - Look out, Shrek! He got a piece! - It's a cat, Donkey. Come here, little kitty, kitty. Come on, little kitty. Come here. Oh! Come here, little kitty. - Whoa! - Hold on, Shrek! I'm coming! - Come on! Get it off! Get it off! Oh, God. Oh... No! - Look out, Shrek! Hold still! - Get it off! Shrek! Hold still! - Did I miss? - No. You got them. Now, ye ogre, pray for mercy from... Puss... In Boots! I'll kill that cat! Ah-ha-ha! Hairball. - Oh! That is nasty! What should we do with him? Take the sword and neuter him. Give him the Bob Barker treatment. Oh, no! Por favor! Please! I implore you! It was nothing personal, Senor. I was doing it only for my family. My mother, she is sick. And my father lives off the garbage! The King offered me much in gold and I have a litter of brothers... Whoa, whoa, whoa! Fiona's father paid you to do this? The rich King? Si. Well, so much for Dad's royal blessing. Don't feel bad. Almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you. Gee, thanks. Maybe Fiona would've been better off if I were some sort of Prince Charming. That's what the King said. Oh, uh... sorry. I thought that question was directed at me. Shrek, Fiona knows you'd do anything for her. Well, it's not like I wouldn't change if I could. I just... I just wish I could make her happy. Hold the phone... Happiness.A tear drop away.Donkey! Think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you! Man, where do I begin? First there was the time that old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans. Then this fool had a party and he have the guests trying to pin the tail on me. Then they got drunk and start beating me with a stick, going Pinata!! What is a pinata, anyway?! No, Donkey! I need you to cry! Don't go projecting on me. I know you're feeling bad, but you got to... Aaaahhh! You little, hairy, litter-licking sack of... What? Is it on? Is it on? This is Fairy Godmother. I'm either away from my desk or with a client. But if you come by the office, we'll be glad to make you an appointment. Have a happy ever after. Oh... Are you up for a little quest, Donkey? That's more like it! Shrek and Donkey, on

another whirlwind adventure! Ain't no stoppin' us now! Whoo! We're on the move! - Stop, Ogre! I have misjudged you. - Join the club. We've got jackets. On my honor, I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life as you have spared me mine. The position of annoying talking animal has already been taken. Let's go, Shrek. Shrek? - Shrek! - Aw, come on, Donkey. Look at him... In his wee little boots. You know, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly. - Let's keep him! - Say what?! Ahh! Listen. He's purring! - Oh, so now it's cute. - Come on, Donkey. Lighten up. Lighten up?! I should lighten up? Look who's telling who to lighten up! Lighten up?! I should lighten up? Look who's telling who to lighten up! Shrek! Shrek? They're both festive, aren't they? What do you think, Harold? Um... Yes, yes. Fine. Fine. Try to at least pretend you're interested in your daughter's wedding ball. Honestly, Lillian, I don't think it matters. How do we know there will even be a ball? Mom. Dad. - Oh, hello, dear. - What's that, Cedric? Right! Coming. Mom, have you seen Shrek? I haven't. You should ask your father. Be sure and use small words, dear. He's a little slow this morning. - Can I help you, Your Majesty? - Ah, yes! Um... Mmm! Exquisite. What do you call this dish? That would be the dog's breakfast, Your Majesty. Ah, yes. Very good, then. Carry on, Cedric. - Dad? Dad, have you seen Shrek? - No, I haven't, dear. I'm sure he just went off to look for a nice... mud hole to cool down in. You know, after your little spat last night. Oh. You heard that, huh? The whole kingdom heard you. I mean, after all, it is in his nature to be... well, a bit of a brute. Him? You know, you didn't exactly roll out the Welcome Wagon. Well, what did you expect? Look at what he's done to you. Shrek loves me for who I am. I would think you'd be happy for me. Darling, I'm just thinking about what's best for you. Maybe you should do the same. No, really? Shh... Oh... Oh, no. That's the old Keebler's place. Let's back away slowly. That's the Fairy Godmother's cottage. She's the largest producer of hexes and potions in the whole kingdom. Then why don't we pop in there for a spell? Ha-ha! Spell! He makes me laugh. Hi. I'm here to see the... The Fairy Godmother. I'm sorry. She is not in. Jerome! Coffee and a Monte Cristo. Now! Yes, Fairy Godmother. Right away. Look, she's not seeing any clients today. OK? That's OK, buddy. We're from the union. The union? We represent the workers in all magical industries, both evil and benign. Oh! Oh, right. Are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed? Uh... a little. We don't even have dental. They don't even have dental. Okay, we'll just have a look around. Oh. By the way. I think it'd be better if the Fairy Godmother didn't know we were here. - Know what I'm saying? Huh? - Huh? Huh? Huh? - Stop it. - Of course. Go right in. A drop of desire. Naughty! A pinch of passion. And just a hint of... lust... Excuse me. Sorry to barge in like this... What in Grimm's name are you doing here? Well, it seems that Fiona's not exactly happy. Oh-ho-ho! And there's some question as to why that is? Well, let's explore that, shall we? Ah. P, P, P... Princess. Cinderella. Here we are. Lived happily ever after.Oh... No ogres! Let's see. Snow White. A handsome prince. Oh, no ogres. Sleeping Beauty. Oh, no ogres! Hansel and Gretel? No! Thumbelina? No. The Golden Bird, the Little Mermaid, Pretty Woman... No, no, no, no, no! You see, ogres don't live happily ever after. All right, look, lady! Don't you point... those dirty green sausages at me! Your Monte Cristo and coffee. Oh! Sorry. Ah... that's okay. We were just leaving. Very sorry to have wasted your time, Miss Godmother. Just... go. Come on, guys. TGlF, eh, buddy? Working hard or hardly working, eh, Mac? Get your fine Corinthian footwear and your cat cheeks out of my face! Man, that stinks! You don't exactly smell like a basket of roses. - Well, one of these has got to help. - I was just concocting this very plan! Already our minds are becoming one. Whoa, whoa. If we need an expert on

licking ourselves, we'll give you a call. Shrek, this is a bad idea. Look. Make yourself useful and go keep watch. Puss, do you think you could get to those on top? No problema, boss. In one of my nine lives, I was the great cat burglar of Santiago de Compostela. Ha-ha-ha-ha! Shrek, are you off your nut? Donkey, keep watch. Keep watch? Yeah, I'll keep watch. I'll watch that wicked witch come and whammy a world of hurt up your backside. I'll laugh, too. I'll be giggling to myself. - What do you see? - Toad Stool Softener? I'm sure a nice BM is the perfect solution for marital problems. - Elfa Seltzer? - Uh-uh. - Hex Lax? - No! Try handsome.Sorry. No handsome. Hey! How about Happily Ever After? Well, what does it do? It says Beauty Divine. In some cultures, donkeys are revered as the wisest of creatures. Especially us talking ones. Donkey! That'll have to do. We've got company. Can we get on with this? Hurry! Nice catch, Donkey! Finally! A good use for your mouth. Come on! You spurn my natural emotions You make me feel like dirt and I'm hurt And if I start a commotion I run the risk of losing you and that's worse Ever fallen in love with someone, ever fallen in love In love with someone, ever fallen in love In love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with Ever fallen in love with someone, ever fallen in love In love with someone, ever fallen in love With someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with Fallen in love with Ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with I don't care whose fault it is. Just get this place cleaned up! And somebody bring me something deep fried and smothered in chocolate! - Mother! - Charming. Sweetheart. This isn't a good time, pumpkin. Mama's working. Whoa, what happened here? - The ogre, that's what! - What? Where is he, Mom? I shall rend his head from his shoulders! I will smite him where he stands! He will rue the very day he stole my kingdom from me! Oh, put it away, Junior! You're still going to be king. We'll just have to come up with something smarter. Pardon. Um... Everything is accounted for, Fairy Godmother, except for one potion. What? Oh... I do believe we can make this work to our advantage. Happily Ever After Potion. Maximum strength. For you and your true love. If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine. Happiness, comfort and beauty divine.- You both will be fine? - I guess it means it'll affect Fiona, too. Hey, man, this don't feel right. My donkey senses are tingling all over. Drop that jug o' voodoo and let's get out of here. It says, Beauty Divine. How bad can it be? See, you're allergic to that stuff. You'll have a reaction. And if you think that I'll be smearing Vapor Rub over your chest, think again! Boss, just in case there is something wrong with the potion... allow me to take the first sip. It would be an honor to lay my life on the line for you. Oh, no, no. I don't think so. If there'll be any animal testing, I'll do it. That's the best friend's job. Now give me that bottle. How do you feel? I don't feel any different. I look any different? You still look like an ass to me. Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys. - Well, here's to us, Fiona. - Shrek? - You drink that, there's no going back. - I know. - No more wallowing in the mud? - I know. - No more itchy butt crack? - I know! - But you love being an ogre! - I know! I know. Shrek, no! Wait! Got to be... I think you grabbed the Farty Ever After potion. Maybe it's a dud. Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be. Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be. Uh-oh. What did I tell you? I feel something coming on. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die! Oh, sweet sister, mother of mercy. I'm melting! I'm melting! It's just the rain, Donkey. Oh. Don't worry. Things seem bad because it's dark and rainy and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you. It'll be better in the morning. You'll see... The sun'll come out... Tomorrow Bet your bottom... Bet my bottom? I'm coming, Elizabeth! Donkey? Are you all right? - Hey, boss. Let's shave him. - D-Donkey?

There you are! We missed you at dinner. What is it, darling? Dad... I've been thinking about what you said. And I'm going to set things right. Ah! Excellent! That's my girl. It was a mistake to bring Shrek here. I'm going to go out and find him. And then we'll go back to the swamp where we belong. Fiona, please! Let's not be rash, darling. You can't go anywhere right now. Fiona! Look, I told you he was here. Look at him! Quiet. Look at him. Good morning, sleepyhead. Good morning! We love your kitty! Oh... My head... - Here, I fetched a pail of water. Thanks. Uhh! Aahh! Oh... A cute, button nose? Thick, wavy locks? Taut, round buttocks?! I'm... I'm... - Gorgeous! - I'll say. I'm Jill. What's your name? - Um... Shrek. - Shrek? Wow. Are you from Europe? - You're tense. - I want to rub his shoulders. - I got it covered. - I don't have anything to rub. Get in line. Get in line. - Have you seen my donkey? - Who are you calling donkey? - Donkey? You're a... - A stallion, baby! I can whinny. I can count. Look at me, Shrek! I'm trotting! That's some quality potion. What's in that stuff? Oh, don't take the potion, Mr. Boss, it's very bad.Pah! Warning: Side effects may include burning, itching, oozing, weeping. Not intended for heart patients or those with... nervous disorders.I'm trotting, I'm trotting in place! Yeah! What? Senor? To make the effects of this potion permanent, the drinker must obtain his true love's kiss by midnight.Midnight? Why is it always midnight? - Pick me! I'll be your true love! - I'll be your true love. I'll be true... enough. Look, ladies, I already have a true love. Oh... And take it from me, Boss. You are going to have one satisfied Princess. And let's face it. You are a lot easier on the eyes. Inside you're the same old mean, salty... - Easy. - ...cantankerous, foul, angry ogre you always been. And you're still the same annoying donkey. - Yeah. Well... Look out, Princess. Here comes the new me. First things first. - We need to get you out of those clothes. - Ready? - Ready! - Driver, stop! Oh, God! Help me, please! My racing days are over! I'm blind! Tell the truth. Will I ever play the violin again? You poor creature! ls there anything I can do for you? Well, I guess there is one thing. Take off the powdered wig and step away from your drawers. - Not bad. - Not bad at all. Father? ls everything all right, Father? Thank you, gentlemen! Someday, I will repay you. Unless, of course, I can't find you or if I forget. Oh, yeah Turn and face the strange Ch-Ch-Changes Don't wanna be a richer one Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes Turn and face the strange Ch-Ch-Changes Just gonna have to be a different man Time may change me But I can't trace time Halt! Tell Princess Fiona her husband, Sir Shrek, is here to see her. Still don't know what I was looking for And my time was running wild, a million dead-end streets Every time I thought I'd got it made It seemed the taste was not so sweet - Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes Turn and face the strange - Shrek? - Ch-Ch-Changes Don't wanna be a richer one Time may change me But I can't trace time Fiona? Hello, handsome. Shrek! - Princess! - Donkey? Wow! That potion worked on you, too? What potion? Shrek and I took some magic potion. And well... Now, we're sexy! Shrek? For you, baby... I could be. - Yeah, you wish. - Donkey, where is Shrek? He went inside looking for you. Shrek? Fiona! Fiona! You want to dance, pretty boy? Are you going so soon? Don't you want to see your wife? Fiona? Shrek? Aye, Fiona. It is me. What happened to your voice? The potion changed a lot of things, Fiona. But not the way I feel about you. Fiona? - Charming? - Do you think so? Dad. I was so hoping you'd approve. - Um... Who are you? - Mom, it's me, Shrek. I know you never get a second chance at a first impression, but, well, what do you think? Fiona! Fiona! Fiona! - Fiona! - Fiona, Fiona! Ho-ho-ho! Oh, shoot! I don't think they can hear us, pigeon. Don't you think you've already messed her life up enough? I just wanted her to be happy. And now she can be. Oh, sweetheart. She's finally found the prince of her dreams.

But look at me. Look what I've done for her. It's time you stop living in a fairy tale, Shrek. She's a princess, and you're an ogre. That's something no amount of potion will ever change. But... I love her. If you really love her... you'll let her go. Shrek? Senor. What's going on? Where are you going? You wouldn't have had anything to do with this, would you, Harold? People just ain't no good I think that's well understood There you go, boys. Just leave the bottle, Doris. Hey. Why the long face? It was all just a stupid mistake. I never should have rescued her from that tower in the first place. I hate Mondays. I can't believe you'd walk away from the best thing that happened to you. What choice do I have? She loves that pretty boy, Prince Charming. Come on. ls he really that good-looking? Are you kidding? He's gorgeous! He has a face that looks like it was carved by angels. - Oh. He sounds dreamy. - You know... shockingly, this isn't making me feel any better. Look, guys. It's for the best. Mom and Dad approve, and Fiona gets the man she's always dreamed of. Everybody wins. Except for you. I don't get it, Shrek. You love Fiona. Aye. And that's why I have to let her go. Excuse me, is she here? She's, uh... in the back. Oh, hello again. Fairy Godmother. Charming. You'd better have a good reason for dragging us down here, Harold. Well, I'm afraid Fiona isn't really... warming up to Prince Charming. - FYI, not my fault. - No, of course it's not, dear. I mean, how charming can I be when I have to pretend I'm that dreadful ogre? No, no, it's nobody's fault. Perhaps it's best if we just call the whole thing off, okay? - What? - You can't force someone to fall in love! I beg to differ. I do it all the time! Have Fiona drink this and she'll fall in love with the first man she kisses, which will be Charming. - Umm... no. - What did you say? I can't. I won't do it. Oh, yes, you will. lf you remember, I helped you with your happily ever after. And I can take it away just as easily. ls that what you want? ls it? - No. - Good boy. Now, we have to go. I need to do Charming's hair before the ball. He's hopeless. He's all high in the front. He can never get to the back. You need someone to do the back. Oh. Thank you, Mother. Mother? Um... Mary! A talking horse! The ogre! Stop them! Thieves! Bandits! Stop them! The abs are fab and it's gluteus to the maximus here at tonight's Far, Far Away Royal Ball blowout! The coaches are lined up as the cream of the crop pours out of them like Miss Muffet's curds and whey. Everyone who's anyone has turned out to honor Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek. And, oh my, the outfits look gorgeous! Look! Hansel and Gretel! What the heck are the crumbs for? And right behind them, Tom Thumb and Thumbelina! - Oh, aren't they adorable! Here comes Sleeping Beauty! Tired old thing. Who's this? Who's this? Who is this? Oh. It's the one, it's the only... It's the Fairy Godmother! Hello, Far, Far Away! Can I get a whoop whoop? May all your endings be happy and... Well, you know the rest! We'll be right back with the Royal Far, Far Away Ball after these messages. I hate these ball shows. They bore me to tears. Flip over to Wheel Of Torture! I'm not flipping anywhere, sir, until I see Shrek and Fiona. Whizzes on you guys. Hey, mice, pass me a buffalo wing! No, to your left. Your left! - Tonight on Knights... - Now here's a good show! We got a white bronco heading east into the forest. Requesting backup. It's time to teach these madcap mammals their devil may care attitudes just won't fly. Why you grabbing me? Police brutality! I have to talk to Princess Fiona! - We warned you! - Ow! Ow! Did someone let the cat out of the bag? You capitalist pig dogs! - Catnip! - That's not mine. Find Princess Fiona! I'm a donkey! Tell her Shrek... I'm her husband, Shrek! Quick! Rewind it! I'm her husband, Shrek! Ow! Darling? Ah. I thought I might find you here. How about a nice hot cup of tea before the ball? I'm not going. The whole Kingdom's turned out to celebrate your marriage. There's just one problem. That's not my husband. I

mean, look at him. Yes, he is a bit different, but people change for the ones they love. You'd be surprised how much I changed for your mother. Change? He's completely lost his mind! Why not come down to the ball and give him another chance? You might find you like this new Shrek. But it's the old one I fell in love with, Dad. I'd give anything to have him back. Darling. That's mine. Decaf. Otherwise I'm up all night. Thanks. I got to get out of here! I got to get out of here! You can't lock us up like this! Let me go! What about my Miranda rights? You're supposed to say I have the right to remain silent. Nobody said I have the right to remain silent! You have the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity. I must hold on before l, too, go totally mad. Shrek? Donkey? Too late. Gingy! Pinocchio! Get us out of here! Oh... Fire in ze hole! Look out below! Quick! Tell a lie! - What should I say? - Anything, but quick! Say something crazy like I'm wearing ladies' underwear!I am wearing ladies' underwear. - Are you? - I most certainly am not! It looks like you most certainly am are! - I am not! - What kind? - It's a thong! - Oww! They're briefs! - Are not. - Are too! - Are not! - Are too! Here we go. Hang tight. Wait, wait, wait! Ow! Ow! Hey, hey, hey! Ow! - Excuse me? - What? Puss! Pardon me, would you mind letting me go? - Sorry, boss. - Quit messing around! We've got to stop that kiss! I thought you was going to let her go. I was, but I can't let them do this to Fiona. Boom! That's what I like to hear. Look who's coming around! It's impossible! We'll never get in. The castle's guarded. There's a moat and everything! Folks, it looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick. - What? - Do you still know the Muffin Man? Well, sure! He's down on Drury Lane. Why? Because we're gonna need flour. Lots and lots of flour. Gingy! Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man! We've got a big order to fill! It's alive! Run, run, run, as fast you can! Go, baby, go! There it is, Mongo! To the castle! No, you great stupid pastry! Come on! Mongo! Down here! Look at the pony! That's right! Follow the pretty pony! Pretty pony wants to play at the castle! Pretty pony. Ladies and gentlemen. Presenting Princess Fiona and her new husband, Prince Shrek. Shrek, what are you doing? I'm just playing the part, Fiona. ls that glitter on your lips? Mm. Cherry flavored. Want to taste? - Ugh! What is with you? - But, Muffin Cake... C Minor, put it in C Minor. Ladies and gentlemen. I'd like to dedicate this song to... Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek. Fiona, my Princess. Will you honor me with a dance? Where have all the good men gone And where are all the gods? Dance! Where's the streetwise Hercules To fight the rising odds? Since when do you dance? Fiona, my dearest,if there's one thing I know, it's that love is full of surprises. Late at night I toss and I turn And I dream of what I need Hit it! I need a hero All right, big fella! Let's crash this party! Man the catapults! Aim! Fire! - Brace yourselves! - Ooh! Purty! Not the gumdrop button! Incoming! Ha-ha! All right! Somewhere after midnight In my wildest fantasy Go, Mongo! Go! Man the cauldrons! After you, Mongo. - That's it! Heave-ho! - Watch out! Shrek! More heat, less foam! Up where the mountains Meet the heavens above Out where the lightning Splits the sea I could swear there is someone Somewhere watching me Heave! Ho! No...! Come on! Look out! - Be good. He needs me! Let me go! Donkey! Puss! Go! Go! Your lady needs you! Go! Today, I repay my debt. Aww... On guard! He's gotta be strong And he's gotta be fast And he's gotta be fresh From the fight - I need a hero - Stop! - Hey, you! Back away from my wife. - Shrek? You couldn't just go back to your swamp and leave well enough alone. - Now! - Pigs und blanket! Pinocchio! Get the wand! I see London! I see France! Whah! I'm a real boy! Ah! Ah! Aaahhh! Catch! Donkey! Oh! I'm a real boy. Aah! Oh! - Ha! - Ah. That's mine! Pray for mercy, from Puss... And Donkey! She's taken the potion! Kiss her now! No! - Hi-ya! - Fiona. - Shrek. Harold! You

were supposed to give her the potion! Well, I guess I gave her the wrong tea. - Mommy! - Mommy? I told you. Ogres don't live happily ever after. Woo! Ha! Oh, Dad! - ls he...? - Yup. He croaked. Harold? Dad? I'd hoped you'd never see me like this. - And he gave you a hard time! - Donkey! No, no, he's right. I'm sorry. To both of you. I only wanted what was best for Fiona. But I can see now... she already has it. Shrek, Fiona... Will you accept an old frog's apologies... and my blessing? Harold? I'm sorry, Lillian. I just wish I could be the man you deserve. You're more that man today than you ever were... warts and all. Boss! The Happily Ever After Potion! Midnight! Fiona. ls this what you want? To be this way forever? - What? - Because if you kiss me now... we can stay like this. You'd do that? - For me? - Yes. I want what any princess wants. To live happily ever after... with the ogre I married. Whatever happens, I must not cry! You cannot make me cry! Whoa! No. No, no. Aaah! Ow. Oh, no. Hey. You still look like a noble steed to me. Now, where were we? Oh! I remember. Hey! Isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta?! Uno, dos, quatro, hit it! Puss and Donkey, y'all... She's into superstitions Black cats and voodoo dolls - Sing it, Puss! - I feel a premonition That girl's gonna make me fall Here we go! She's into new sensations New kicks in the candlelight She's got a new addiction For every day and night She'll make you take your clothes off And go dancing in the rain She'll make you live her crazy life But she'll take away your pain Like a bullet to your brain Upside inside out Living la vida loca Hey gorgeous! Living la vida loca Her lips are devil red And her skin's the color of mocha She will wear you out - Living la vida loca - She livin' it loca! Living la vida loca - Say it one more time now! - Living the vida loca Hey, Donkey, that's Spanish! She'll push and pull you down Living la vida loca She will wear you out Living la vida loca Living la vida loca She'll push and pull you down Living the vida loca Her lips are devil red And her skin's the color of mocha She will wear you out Living la vida loca Living la vida loca Living la vida loca Living la vida loca All by myself All by myself Don't wanna be All by myself anymore... Amigo, we are off to the Kit-Kat Club. Come on, join us. Thanks, compadre. I'm... I'm not in the mood. We will cheer you up! Find you a nice burro! Hey, baby! Hey, that's my girl! Yeah! All right! Baby, where you been? - I'm sorry, too. I should've stayed. But Shrek had this thing he had to do. What? Say it one more time. What you talking about? Are you serious? - Papa! Look at our little mutant babies! I got to get a job. I got to get a job.

Omg

[dreams-of-wings]

Being a part of the Core VK's, and daughter to Hades

Relationships with the Core Four:

You and Mal are half sisters - same dad, different moms. Mal hated you for a long time, even when she had yet to meet you, she knew of you and that made her blood absolutely boil. You were the daughter Hades raised, while he just left her and her mother. You both eventually get along, and once you do, you're inseparable, as thick as thieves, partners in crime, the works.

Evie thinks you're cool. She doesn't have a problem with you- then again I don't think she has a problem with anyone really. She likes your style, she wouldn't wear it, but she likes it because you work it and make it look good. She gets to know you more when you and Mal start hanging out and she kinda becomes like your sister as well.

Jay thinks you're awesome. He witnessed your hair burst into flames one day when someone pissed you off, trying to steal something your rightfully *coughcough* found. Definitely asked you about your powers and wondered why you could still use magic. It was kinda hard to explain, but basically on the island you can only do a few things - all of which require direct contact. Lounging/parkour buddy.

Okay, but please tell me why the thought of harmless, got bullied a lot, soft boy Carlos/intimidating, protective Daughter of Hades, just makes me melt. Like, you save his ass a lot. You knew Carlos before you knew the rest of the core four - back when it was Mal and Jay, Evie did her own thing, and Carlos was just kinda left to fend for himself. It's okay though, you'll protect him.

Background:

No one knows who your mother is

Not you

Not Mal

Not even Maleficent

Hades doesn't like to talk about her

She died before you had the ability to retain memories

She wasn't the first or the last of the people that were claimed by the terrible conditions of the Island of the Lost.

Medical care wasn't exactly top notch, and no one really cared about the ones who passed the first few years.

Just ment more supplies for the rest of them

You weren't allowed to wander the isle as a child, he kept you locked away - worried Maleficent might try something (and worried that if anyone found out about you being his daughter, they would have something over his head).

It was thanks to Hades tucking you away, that Maleficent was never able to find you.

You started sneaking out when you turned 10

You proved you could handle yourself, so Hades let you run free.

Besides 10 years had passed since you were born and he figured maybe Maleficent didn't care about you anymore.

It took you and Mal a while to trust eachother.

When you trusted her enough, you told her about your dad.

She didn't say anything and just left you - she was so angry and conflicted, on one hand she wanted to hate you because you were the child Hades' stuck around for, the one he raised, and fathered, and protected from Maleficent.

After a few weeks she found you in your own little corner if the island you carved for yourself, and explained everything.

Suprise, you're sisters!

Evie knows you're sisters

To be honest, you could be leader of their group, and also could be considered one of the most problematic kids on the Island, but you're too laid back.

You could go out of your way to cause trouble and make life on the island even more miserable than it already is.

But that takes too much effort.

Uma and Harry have no beef with you other than the fact that you're Mal's friend.

They try to get you to join their crew almost daily.

"Nah, you guys are good at what you do without me."

You're welcome at Ursula's fish and chips any time.

Uma doesn't even find your rejection insulting, you're just. So chill?

Her crew has rules, training, errands to run, collecting protection fees, and helping her at her mother's restuarant.

No thanks

Too much work

You like Mal's mom's way of doing things, "When you're evil, doing less is doing more."

Mal's crew just kinda hangs out together and roams the island being cats basically - lounging and loitering where you're not supposed to, subtly stealing things, knocking things over, just chilling and having fun doing whatever you want.

Your kinda crew.

Storyline:

When they go to Auradon, they take you with them

You weren't invited because again - no one knows who your parents are.

But you guys are kinda a package deal.

Ben was all for it when they called him.

"The more the merrier!"

He thought it was just an early sign that this was a great idea and he was making a difference.

You dont get to say bye to your dad because it was a very last minute thing.

You just kinda disappear.

But to be honest he's used to you just not showing up for weeks or even months at a time.

It's the reason why you were able to keep who your father is a secret for so long.

You come out the limo looking as cool as a cucumber, with your arms crossed as you stand next to Mal.

"This is more than you said there would be!" Fairy Godmother is not so subtly whisper-yelling at Ben.

"They wouldn't come without her- it was all of them, or none of them."

"Well maybe that should have been a sign, Benny-boo!"

"You know we can still hear you," you say while purposely chewing your gum in an obnoxious manner, just to get on their nerves.

They're already getting on yours.

In all seriousness, you whisper a, "Just say the word and she's toast," to Mal.

Screw Audrey.

Of course they split you all up for the most part.

They're worried if they put all the VK's together in one class, it may be too much for the teachers to handle.

They're not wrong.

To be honest though, you're a handful all on your own.

Your teachers wonder how things managed to burst into flames for no apparent reason all through out class.

Some jerks thought it would be okay to pick on Carlos when Jay isn't around him.

For some reason they think that just because your a girl, you're weak?

Must be the stupid "princely boy needs to save the day" mentality that runs rampant in Auradon.

You set someone's hair on fire.

And someone else duffle bag.

This would probably be a good time to mention that the VK's already know you can conjure fire.

They just think that your parent/parents are witches and you just have an affinity for fire.

Carlos normally either sticks to you or Jay when he isn't practicing with Ben.

You dont see your fathers statue in the hall of villains when you guys break into the museum - mostly because he's in another hall completely.

There's a whole hall dedicated to God's and goddesses as well as Hercules story.

You dont bother to offer up your powers when you're escaping, you know Mal's got it covered.

Helping Mal bake love potion cookies.

While the others are doing this because their parents would have their necks, you're genuinely doing this for your father. You know all he wants is to get off the island.

Causing a small lawn fire when the Sleeping Beauty's family and Chad get in Mal's face.

Your bursted into blue flames when Maleficent crashed Ben's coronation.

Having Mal's back after she was announced to become a new Lady of the Court.

Honestly you dont know what the big deal is about Mal using her magic.

Of course you go with Evie, Ben, Carlos, and Jay when they go to the isle to get Mal.

When Evie goes to talk to Mal you go visit your father.

He's a bit upset with you because he's seen you on TV so he knows you left.

But he can understand you not wanting to be trapped on this island forever.

"I'll find a way to get you out, soon."

"Say 'hello' to Mal for me"

Of course you couldn't.

Harry flirting with you and trying to recruit you again when he snags Ben.

When the battle at the docks ensues, you dont need a sword to fight.

Like Hades with his Ember, and like Mal and her Mother with their eyes, you dont need magic to use your flames because they are a part of you.

Sure the island managed to hold you back, but you can bring just enough to the surface to make any sword you grab on to too hot to handle.

Your powers are useless against Uma when she crashes cotillion.

You know, being surrounded by water and all.

"See ya, Y/N."

"See ya, Uma."

Surprisingly hard for you to make enemies

Except for Audry you know.

Of course you are Mal's planned maid of honor for her wedding.

Evue already has a dress made for you, and it was super hard for her not to gush to Mal about it because that would have given away the suprise.

You pretending to be defenceless against Hades when you all go to pick up the next chosen VK's to come to Auradon.

You keep your flames concealed of course because this would be a terrible time to show that both you and Hades share the same flaming blue hair.

You honestly surprised no one put two and two together sooner.

Definitely not there for the meeting where Mal decides to close the barrier for good.

But you were there for when Mal told Evie.

You were also the first to figure out Mal was hiding something. She wouldn't tell you right out though, but you knew something was up because that pause to answer Evie was too long.

Going back to the isle with the others to get Hades ember after Audrey turn Mal old.

"Hey girls~" was the greeting you both got from Hades when Mal tried to grab his Ember.

"Long time no see, Y/N."

Mal just glares at him.

You sit on the table where the Ember was while you let Mal and Hades have their little musical number. Mal kinda let her anger come through.

"Hey!" You would not be dragged into this, thank you.

You went to stand next to Mal when she asked for the Ember one final time and looked at your father with a shit eating grin, because you know deep down he won't say no to his girls.

"The Ember won't work for you."

"Yes it will. We're blood."

"You're only half Hades."

"Well then I guess two halves make a whole, right?"

"Those are my girls~"

You, Mal, and Uma joining together to break Audrey's attempt to keep you guys trapped in the cabin.

Helping Evie be the peace keeper when you all battle the suits of armor in Ben's castle.

You chase after Uma and Harry when Mal breaks the news about the barrier.

Which means you didn't get turned to stone.

Helping Uma reignite the Ember so Mal can take on Audrey.

Telling Mal you want to go back to the Isle along with Uma, Harry, Gil, and Celiea.

She's heart broken because you're her sister and it was kinda supposed to be you both against the world.

You can't turn your back on the kids from the isle. Like Mal, so many of the younger ones look up to you. On top of that you also can't imagine not ever seeing your dad again.

She understands, and when Hades comes to wake up Audrey, you go back to the Isle with your father.

You finally agree to join Uma's crew when you return.

Shes happy but also let's you know shes sorry you had to leave your sister.

You're hanging out with your new crew at the Fish and Chips when it's almost time for Mal to announce that they will be closing the Barrier forever.

You, Uma, Gil, and Harry are huddles up together around the TV.

But when Mal announces they will be opening the barrier for good you all cheer and you run to go get your dad.

Yay big family reunion!

[cherrytdatt]

Sadness Ritual pt. 3

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Word count: ~3.6k

Summary: Will Harrison's engagement party solve things between Y/N and Tom?

Warnings: N-O-T-H-I-N-G!

A/N: PART 3 IS HERE!!! after struggling a lot I finally did it. Part of this was inspired by the engagement scene in 'set it up' also know as my favorite rom-com ever so think about that vibe! I hope you guys like it. I really liked.

Playlist: No playlist...I heard so many things...It was a rollercoaster!

Part 1 | Part 2

Three months ago, at 3 am, Tom stood in your kitchen and said the words you wished for months to hear from him. And yet, you felt your entire chest hurt, and you couldn't look at him. You sent him home, and since then, you didn't see him again. But now, the inevitable was coming. Anna and Harrison's engagement party is in one day. You're the maid of honor, and Tom is the best man. Anna asked you if you would be okay seeing him again and, to be honest, you don't know, but it’s her engagement party. You won't deny the presence of her fianceé's best friend and best man.

"Ready for the party?" Anna asked while you two looked at some dresses in some store.

The party would be something small, just family and friends, in Tom's backyard. You wanted to help, but going to Tom's house, knowing he would be there, wasn't in your plans.

"Yeah! I'm so happy for you. And Harrison. Since your first date, I knew you two would get married," you said with a smile. "I remember I said I would be a shitty maid of honor," you said with a laugh. "And Tom said he would be a great best man," your smile faded a little when you thought about Tom.

"Did you talk to him?" Anna asked, already knowing the answer.

"No," you said simply.

"Harrison said he's feeling better, but still misses you," Anna said with a weak voice.

You cleared your throat. "I miss him too," you said almost in a whisper.

"Why don't you talk to him?" she asked.

"I don't know. Things got pretty bad between us. I'm still sad with him, and I'm sure he is sad with me too," you said, and the sadness in your voice was almost palpable.

"I'm sure he forgave you. And I think you already forgave him. You're just afraid," she said.

"Maybe. Let's see how mad I'll be when I see him tomorrow," you chuckled, but your voice was still sad. "D-do you...hum...do know what happened...to the girl?

"Oh, please! He ended things with her the morning after your fight, and never saw her again," Anna said.

"What you think of these?" you asked, putting a black floral dress in front of you, and changing the subject to hide how happy that information made you.

"Loved," she said animatedly.

"I'll try it," you said, going into the dressing room.

You didn't wanna think about Tom and all the situation now, but the talk with Anna got stuck into your head. 'He still misses you'. Her voice was louder and clearer than when you talked. You decided to buy the black dress for Anna's party. Thank God she chose a very casual party, so you could go with comfortable clothes.

"I see you tomorrow," Anna said goodbye, leaving you in front of your building.

You got into your apartment, still thinking about your talk with her. You missed Tom, more than anything in your life, but every time you thought about those pictures, and the fact that he did all that even though he liked you, you felt a strange and bitter feeling in your stomach. All you wanted was to talk to him and solve things, but you felt so afraid of what he would do and what he was willing to do to make things better. 

You used the rest of your night writing some essays you had to finish this week and watching some comedy on TV.

'Hey. How are you? I just wanna say that I can't wait to see you tomorrow. And I want you to know that I'm cool if you decide not to talk with me. I just want you to be okay 🙂' Tom's message took your attention away from the TV. You stared at the text, not knowing what to say. Of course, you wanted to see him, but talk to him would be the best thing? You really didn't know.

'Hi. I'm great. And you? I'm okay talking to you tomorrow,' you typed, throwing the phone on the other side of the couch like it was a bomb ready to explode. "Fuck!" you said, noticing the smile that appeared in your face.

'I'm good. That's good. I miss talking to you. How crazy it is that our friends are getting married?!@#$' The bleep from your phone made you smile again, and you reached for it, reading his text.

'Crazy as shit! We're not old enough for this,' you ignored the first half of the text on purpose. You missed him, but you weren't ready to let him know that yet.

'I keep saying this to Harrison, but he doesn't listen to me lol. But they love each other very much. Harrison showed me his speech, and I cried like a baby,' he said, and you laughed, remembering how easy it was for him to cry. He had a playlist just for that.

'Well, It's not that hard to make you cry lol. I chose not to hear Anna's speech. I wanted to be a surprise,' you confessed. She told you it would be very emotional, so you decided to enjoy with everyone else at the party.

'I don't cry that easily. I didn't even cry in my last movie,' he said, and you remembered you didn't watch the movie with him because the release happened when you were not talking.

'Congratulations on the movie, btw. I heard it's very good,' you said, confessing you didn't watch it. The real reason for you not to watch you weren't confessing. You didn't wanna hear see him or hear his voice. It was too painful.

'You didn't watch it yet? 😱' he asked, and you could see the shocked and offended look on his face.

'I'm sorry. I didn't have time,' you lied.

'We need to change this! This is unacceptable!' he said, and you wanted to invite him over to solve things once and for all. You wanted to sit in front of the TV, with Tom by your side, like you always did, and watch as many movies as possible.

'I'm going to bed now. See you tomorrow at the party,' you cut him off before he could ask anything else, and Tom noticed that. Because in one minute he was smiling at his cellphone, just about to ask you to watch a movie with him, and now he was staring at your last text, questioning everything he could've said or done to make things different.

"Hey, mate. Are you okay?" Harry asked, entering the TV room, and seeing his brother with a weird face, ignoring the TV.

"Yeah. Just...talked to Y/N," he said, pointing at his phone.

"Really? How did it go?" Harry asked, genuinely interested. He saw his brother whining and moping around the house for the last three months. After the pictures got released, Tom freaked out. He had to go to therapy, you stopped coming to their house, and he wasn't that cheerful guy anymore. Now, he was in a good place. Not like before, but he was getting there. And talk to you was the last step to make everything go back to normal.

"It was going back to normal, but then she shut me down. Not aggressively. She just didn't give me the opportunity to make things as normal as before," he said.

"Oh! I'm sorry, man. But that is better than nothing, right?" Harry shrugged. "And you are seeing her tomorrow. Who knows what can happen?" he smiled, and his brother did the same.

To say that this night was hard was an understatement. Tom couldn't sleep. He scrolled through his entire timeline on Instagram, watched a movie, then another one, ate, played video game, and when there was nothing else to do, he decided that 5am was a good time to go to the gym. But not even that helped him relax. He could feel every fiber in his body suffering from anxiety. Tea with his mom after lunch was the only thing that kept his mind calm for a few hours. After that, he went home to get ready for the party. 

There was no set of clothes in his closet that worked. Nothing was good enough. "Hey..." Anna called him from the door. "Want some help?" she offered.

"No. I know you have other things to do. I don't wanna bother you," he said with a smile.

"Not a chance. Everything is settled and I'm ready. Harrison is the one taking forever," she rolled her eyes. "I can help you," she said, getting into his room, and sitting in his bed. "What are your choices?" she asked.

"I don't have any," he scratched his neck, a little embarrassed.

"I think I know what to do," she said, getting up and going through his closet. "It will be simple..." she said, picking up a black pair of jeans and throwing at him. "But very cute..." she picked a black shirt.

"How can a black shirt with a black pair of jeans be cute?" he asked, looking at the clothes she gave him.

"Please..." she rolled her eyes. "You'll look cute," she picked a black cardigan, that he rarely used, and gave it to him. "And will match with the maid of honor, cause she's wearing black too," she finally gave him a white sneaker and a pair of glasses that he liked to use as a fashion statement.

"I'll match the maid of honor?" he asked, biting his bottom lip, trying not to smile.

"Perfectly!" Anna said with a happy smile.

Tom looked at the ground. "I talked to her yesterday," he said, putting the clothes on the bed before Anna could leave.

"And?" Anna said expectantly.

"I was just telling her she didn't need to talk to me today if she didn't want to. But, she said she was okay talking to me," his shrug was trying to sound like he didn't care, but his smile was showing the truth.

"I think you two will work things out," Anna said with a smile, leaning in the doorway.

"I hope so. I miss her so much, it's physically painful sometimes," he confessed with a sad voice.

"I know. I'm rooting for you," Anna said, going to him, and giving him a hug.

"Thanks," he said, and she smiled, leaving him alone.

Soon, the house was getting crowded. The backyard was decorated with fairy lights and wooden furniture. The waiters and waitresses walked around the house, serving beer and pizza.

Tom tried to distract himself, talking to as many people as he could. His mom, dad, and brothers were there since they were practically Harrison's family. His mom was feeling his son's anxiety.

"Are you okay?" she whispered to him.

"Great," he said, but his voice sounded anxious. He kept moving his weight from one foot to another. "She'll be here soon," he said.

"I know. And you'll let her be. Otherwise, you'll scare her," she said.

"Yeah...sure," he agreed. He glanced at the door as he did at least fifty times in the last hour, and for his surprise, this time you were there, taking off your jacket, revealing the black floral dress Anna said you would wear. And you two were matching. Tom's smile grew wilder unconsciously. You talked to some guests that were inside the house and then went outside, joining Anna and Harrison. You looked like an angel. Tom couldn't believe he survived all this time away from you. You looked at him for a second, and he saw Anna whispering something to you. You smiled, widely, and Tom felt like he had won the night.

You walked toward him, going to talk to his family. You didn't see Nikki for so long. You missed drinking tea with her, talking about your life, asking for advice.

"Hey, Ms. Holland," you greeted her.

"Hi, sweetie. Long time, no see,' she said, hugging you.

"Yeah. I was...busy," you said, looking at Tom for a split second and then to her again.

"I imagined. How is everything going? College. Work. Life?" she asked.

"Pretty much the same. I meant to call you a few times in the last months, but I didn't wanna bother you," you said sincerely. You really thought about calling and talking to her.

"Don't be silly. I would've loved talking to you," she said with a kind smile. "Let's have lunch this week. What do you think?"

"I would like that very much," you said, relieved that she didn't hate you after all the drama.

"Dom, look who is here," she said, calling her husband's attention. He said goodbye to the person he was talking to, engaging in conversation with you two. Sometimes your eyes met Tom's, and he noticed a sparkle in them every time you did. He didn't say anything while you were talking to his parents. He didn't want to upset you. "If you excuse us, darling, we're gonna talk to some friends," Nikki said, caressing your arm.

"Sure, go ahead," you said with a smile. They left, and it was just you and Tom.

"Hi," he said softly, trying to contain his excitement.

"Hey," you said, scratching the label of the bottle you were holding, anxiously.

"You look really good," he said, drinking a sip of his beer after.

"Thanks. You too," you were avoiding his eyes.

"Anna helped me choose this," he pointed to his clothes.

"It looks good," you smiled, finally looking in his eyes.

Tom couldn't hold it anymore. His mind wanted to keep it cool, but his mouth was faster. "I miss you. Everyday," he said. You looked at him, and all your worries were dead. All you could think was how much you missed him and how much you wanted him back in your life.

"I..." you started.

"Okay, everyone...it's toast time," Anna said clinking her glass with a fork. You and Tom looked at each other. Tom was afraid he had ruined his only chance. You were sad cause you couldn't tell him you missed him too.

"I'll go first," Harrison said, and some people cheered. "So...Anna. What can I talk about Anna?" he joked. "I'm kidding. I'll just say that the first time Y/N brought you around," he looked at you, raising his bottle, and you smiled. "That day, I knew I would marry you. I didn't say anything cause we were all friends, and I didn't want to scare you. But then, we were watching England's game at the 2018 World Cup, and when we lost, you cried. At that moment, I knew I had do something to make you mine, cause we were made for each other. Two months later I asked you out, and we started dating. Now I'm happy to say that we're gonna cry over the English team together, forever," he said the last part, looking at her. Everyone around cheered and applauded them and Anna gave him a quick kiss.

"Okay, now it's my turn," Anna said, taking a step forward. She was a showoff. "Are you ready to cry?" she asked, looking at him, and he smiled, nodding. I thought I would never find someone that I loved enough to ignore their flaws and accept spending my life with them. Unlike from you, when we first met, I thought great eyes, great body," she laughed, looking at him. "We could be friends. I mean, Tom and Y/N were always together. It wasn't like we could ignore each other," she said, and you and Tom looked at each other. A bit of sadness in your eyes, thinking about how that part wasn't true anymore. "But then, I got to meet you better, I started to see your flaws, and yet, dislike you wasn't an option even if I tried. My grandma always said 'we like because...we love despite...' I like you because you're nice to me, you are my best friend and you always search for me in a room when someone tells something funny, just to see my reaction. And I love you despite you being the last one to get ready, your gym schedule, and all the times you yell 'Wonderwall' in my ear, even though you know I hate this song," she finished. Her eyes were glistening with tears, just like everybody else. It took a few seconds for people to start cheering and clapping them. Harrison hugged her, with a wide and bright smile.

"Great speech," you said, going to her and Harrison, and hugging them. Tom following right behind you.

"I almost cried again," Tom said, hugging Harrison.

"Almost?" Anna asked, her thumbs brushing the corner of his eyes, cleaning a tear that threatened to fall.

"It was a really good speech," he defended himself.

"Thanks," she smiled. "We're gonna talk to...some people. We see you guys later?" she said holding your hand, and you and Tom nodded.

"We're gonna eat something," he said, resting his hand on your lower back, and they left. "Can we talk?" he asked, once Harrison and Anna left.

 "Yeah, sure!" you said, and he noticed the anxiety in your voice. At least he wasn't the only one that was afraid.

He walked to his room, opening the door so you could go in first. You walked to the window, looking at the party that was happening downstairs.

"It looks really good from here," you said. "They are so happy," you smiled, watching Harrison and Anna dance together.

"I'm happy to see you," he said, cutting you off. "I've missed you. Everyone did," his hands were in his pockets, and he was trying to stay calm even though his heart was loud in his ear.

"I missed everyone too. It was good to see your mom," you said, fidgeting with the fabric of your dress. The room went silent. Tom didn't wanna push you, but he wanted to be with you and talk like before. Maybe he didn't think this through. The only noise was the music from the party. "I'm sorry," you said, taking a step forward, and Tom looked at you, waiting. You were nervous. "I'm sorry for pushing you away the way I did," your voice was heavy. "We were both sad and broken-hearted, and I was selfish. I only thought about the pain I was feeling. I'm sorry for ignoring your feelings," you said, and Tom felt his heart beating faster. He never thought about that night this way. He always thought about how much pain he caused you and how guilty he was feeling.

"I should've talked to you. I was so focused on the reasons why we couldn't be together," Tom said, taking a step in your direction. "I never thought about the reasons why we could," he confessed. These last three months he thought a lot about what he did wrong, and not talking to you sooner, giving you the chance to decide if you two could work, was his biggest mistake. "I was a coward. With you, with me, with that girl," his voice was trembling. "And I regret every day for what I did," he finished. You were looking at him, and your expression was unreadable. Even for him, that knew you for half of his life.

"I love you, and I," you started, but then you stopped. Your eyes blinking heavily. "I love you," you repeated after a few seconds, touching your lips with your fingers, looking away from him. It was like you could touch every word. "I...I love you!" you said like you just realized that. You had told him that before, but you were so hurt that you never let yourself feel that completely. Now, standing here, with nothing in your way, that was all you could feel. "I love you..." you smiled, looking at Tom that still had a lost look in his face. "I love you!" you said one last time like you were declaring your feelings for him.

Without giving you a chance to say it again, Tom walked the two steps that were keeping you apart, holding your face in his hands, and kissing you. It was urgent and frantic at first, but then you felt your heart slowing down and it was like the entire world was in slow motion. Your hand went to his waist, holding his sweater, while his fingers tangled in your hair, one of his hands holding your neck, deepening, even more, the kiss.

"I love you too," he whispered against your lips, breaking the kiss. He smiled, looking into your eyes. "And I really think we should go on a date."

~

1 year and 7 months later...

"Lunch is ready," Sam called from the kitchen, and soon footsteps and a door closing were heard upstairs.

"Y/N! You're cheating!" Tom yelled.

"Stop whining. I just closed the door!" you yelled back, running down the stair.

"Racing again?" Sam asked, seeing you enter the kitchen breathless.

"He said he would clean the room if I won," you shrugged. You yelped, feeling Tom lifting you up by the waist. "NO! PUT ME DOWN!" you yelled. 

"You cheated!" he said, carrying you to the backyard and locking you out. He pointed and laughed at you through the glass door.

"I can't believe you are doing this. Let me in. I'm hungry!" you said, crossing your arms on your chest.

"If you wanna get in you'll have to do three things first," he said.

"They are being idiots again?" Harry asked entering the kitchen and seeing you two.

"What's going on?" Harrison asked, and Harry pointed to the glass door.

"Idiots," Anna said sitting on a chair around the dinner table.

"What three things?" you asked.

"First, you'll apologize for cheating," he said and you rolled your eyes. "Second, you'll help me clean the room. And third," he put his hand on his pocket, taking out a black velvet box. He opened the box, revealing a ring, and your eyes grew wider, noticing what was happening. "Marry me?" he said, and you covered your mouth in shock, just like everyone else behind him.

"Yes!" you said, feeling your eyes burning. "Yesyesyes!" you repeated, nodding frantically, while he opened the door, pulling you into a hug.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

[locktobre]

I have two big multi-part questions that I can think off the top of my head, but I'll put them in two sperate asks, with this being the first: How and why is Joey immortal? How does he find out? How does *Damian* find out, and why does Joey keep him around? (I feel like I've asked the last part before, so apologies if I have DHHFHSHFH)- That PCS Anon

Birthday spoilers!

Note: This is also spoilers for After and The Tower. (I know that doesn’t sound like it makes any sense, but just trust me.)

Simply put: Joey is immortal bc of his biological parents.

To make a long story short, Reina and Robin Goodfellow (also called Puck) are elves who fled from their home planet about 11,000 years ago after a cataclysmic event. They ended up on Earth, along with another elf named Nik, not really planned but holes were opening up in reality and Puck pulled Nik and Reina into one with him, ostensibly to save their lives. They stuck together for awhile bc Earth was crazy compared to their homeworld but eventually parted ways and never saw each other again.

Now, elves are not totally immortal. They can naturally live for about 1,000 years, but can extend their lives with magic if they wish. The problem is... there is no natural magic on Earth, so they didn’t have a lot of options if they wanted to continue living. Reina turned to blood magic, essentially stealing youth and vitality from others. Puck took refuge in the metaphysical center of the planet, which does have magic, technically. And Nik honestly didn’t care to live forever but he ended up traveling north and meditating and he basically lives off of sunlight/starlight and being in tune with the universe, he’s the most chill of the 3 of them and just wants to live in peace. He ended up settling down and starting a family with a human. He and his family, eventually known as the Clausons, strive to do good in the world. (If you’re thinking, is Nik Santa? Or at least a Santa? Well... 🎅)

So, Joey has a good percentage of elf blood, which would have him living for several hundred years on its own. But since one of his great-grandfathers is a watch, that’s what makes him truly immortal, since he inherits a watch’s inability to be injured, and the fact that they don’t need to eat or sleep to stay alive. (Unlike Arsenio, Joey can eat and sleep, but he doesn’t have to.)

Joey doesn’t know anything about his biological family, because Robina gave him up specifically to hide him from Marisol, so that Marisol wouldn’t use him like she used Robina, and thus it was a closed adoption. He loves Merliah and Kylie, and doesn’t really have any interest in seeking his biological family, bc he doesn’t feel like he’s missing anything from them, and he figures that they gave him up for a reason, so they probably wouldn’t want to see him, anyway.

Damian, on the other hand, is very interested. He kind of has a complex, bc he knows he was conceived accidentally, and they wanted Joey. (Merliah had reservations about being pregnant, which is why they decided to adopt.) I don’t know how much he would ever know about this, but from my own childhood, I know sometimes you just feel things even if nobody will say it outright.

Obviously, Damian can’t exactly... bully Joey into finding out about his birth family, bc A) Joey cannot be swayed, and B) Damian is a lot smaller than him. So Damian says they should at least find out what Joey can do, bc then maybe they can kind of guess what his birth family was like, at least, bc Joey is... just a little bit odd.

It’s not that he acts out in any way, or even does anything very unusual. He’s very obedient and well-behaved. He eats his vegetables and does his chores and goes to bed when told. He’s very mellow.

To Damian, who’s full of rage, this is unfathomable, but Joey just shrugs it off. He likes to help others and do what he’s told and doesn’t really see any reason to rebel, and never has. What he can’t shrug off is the fact that he can do magic.

Of course, his grandpa on Merliah’s side is Rip, who has spent a good chunk of his life studying magic. And Rip can tell that Joey’s not a mermaid, a fairy, not part mermaid, not part fairy, not any kind of fairy or pixie or merrow or any kind of being that Rip has ever seen. So Rip is also intrigued by Joey, but Merliah and Kylie have said that Joey is not to be studied, not that Rip would ever treat his own grandkid like that, but just like, leave well enough alone and don’t poke at him, and if Joey ever wants you to help him figure himself out, he will come to you when he is ready.

Long story short, Damian pokes at Joey until he decides to ask Grandpa Rip. Joey isn’t curious about it, but Damian is, and he wants Damian to be happy (and also stop bothering him), so like, why not.

So, at that point, they start trying to figure out what exactly Joey can do. He can already breathe underwater after studying his moms’ mermaid form, and he can imitate his Uncle Odie’s fire powers exactly when he tries. And after going on like this for awhile, the question quickly becomes what CAN’T Joey do? bc elves had/have a lot of magic compared to any given fairy or mermaid, and watches are at a comparable level. It’s not nearly at Chelsea’s level (or even WBN’s, bc they are an even older, more powerful kind of elf than Reina, Puck and Nik were, plus they were sitting in one spot absorbing magic for 200,000 years), but basically more powerful than Rip has ever seen, and he spent 17 years in Fairytopia specifically seeking out the most powerful magic known to fairykind/mermaidkind in an effort to get home.

At this point, Joey changes his mind and decides he doesn’t want to continue, bc he doesn’t want to feel strange among his family, and Rip doesn’t push the issue bc he’s frankly a little scared about who or what is out there that could be that powerful, and wherever Joey came from, he doesn’t want to know about it.

Damian’s mad bc he is more curious than ever, but now Rip is on the side of hey don’t push it bc like god help us if Joey turns against us (except not in those words but just like silently thanking god that Joey is the nicest kid in the world without a malicious bone in his body).

Anyway, they kind of go back and forth like that as they grow up, with Damian always trying to figure out what Joey’s limits are, and Joey just not engaging bc he is not interested. And eventually Joey does, quite calmly, ask Damian what the hell his problem is and like can’t you just let this go already and Damian basically is like how can you say that when you have all this power and you don’t do anything with it? And Joey’s like what am I supposed to do exactly and Damian’s like you have to do something and Joey’s like fine if it will make you happy, I’ll do something with my magic. I’ll save the world or something and then you have to leave me alone. And Damian’s like sure, deal. Joey doesn’t really want to play superhero (which is an option by the time he’s grown), but he figures the right thing will call to him when the time is right, and until then, he’ll just hang out and try to convince Damian to chill the hell out.

So basically, Damian comes with him bc he was an annoying younger brother (by 5 months) until Joey said fine. (If Damian sounds like a dick, well, not all my ocs are nice lol that would be boring.) And figuring out immortality would really be a matter of time, with Joey not aging even past the age when fairies and mermaids start to age (around 125).

I think Joey might look into his biological family once his immediate family (parents, grandparents, cousins) all died, so he wouldn’t feel like he was betraying them, but that’s several hundred years in the future and I haven’t decided how that goes yet. But we’ll see!

[echoes-of-realities]

I'll keep you warm (underneath the christmas lights)

* * *

[ao3] // [Fanfiction]

be my fire in the cold (and I’ll be waiting by the mistletoe: [Tumblr] // [ao3] // [Fanfiction]

Summary: Santana hates being in the audience of anything because she wants to be backstage managing the show instead of just watching it. She hates it even more when it’s a show that she used to run.

One-shot in the be my fire in the cold (and I’ll be your mistletoe) universe.

Notes: The final editing of the last chapter of the leather jacket fic has been going uhhhhhh let’s say Slow read: impossible atm because of writer’s block for the final scene because I want it to be perfect lol so instead I thought I’d do a small Christmas thing instead.

Trying to cure writer’s block for one fic by writing another? In my writing process? It’s more likely than you think.

Title from “Keep You Warm” by Sam Tsui and Kina Grannis.

Santana decided that she hates sitting in the audience of anything—movies, shows, speeches, you name it—when she was really young. After falling in love with stage managing when she was eighteen, she quickly figured out it’s because she wants to be backstage managing the show herself.

Looking back on her childhood, a lot of things suddenly clicked for her—kind of like when she realized she was very definitely really, really gay and looked back on her pre-teen years and realized exactly how many crushes she had actually had on girls throughout middle school. Her mom used to take her to Columbus whenever they had a little extra cash, treating herself and her daughter to whatever musical or play or dance troupe happened to be touring through Ohio that year, and she used to love and hate those mother-daughter outings in equal measure. She loved spending time with her mom, but she hated the shows itself. She would never have told her mom it, because she hated upsetting her mom more than anything in the world, but she found it near impossible to actually sit through those shows, because she was always impatient and annoyed—realizing it was because she wanted to be the one in control of the show was so relieving because she could finally explain to her mom why she was always hyperactive as soon as the theatre went dark and the show lights went on.

Her mom, of course, had suspected that her daughter was just impatient and desperate to be a part of the show somehow, because mom’s are like that, and took her daughter squirming and sighing throughout the entirety of every single show they saw together in stride—it was good that Maribel Lopez had the patience of a saint and years of experience as a nurse exerting restraint, because whoever was unlucky enough to sit on Santana’s other side had difficulty containing their annoyance at the fidgeting teenager beside them.

She hates sitting in the audience even more when it’s a show that she used to run; especially because she spent nearly twelve hours every single day for a whole month last year running the show she’s currently watching. And she’s even more impatient and desperate to head backstage for this particular show then she is when it comes to a show she hasn’t stage managed before.

In other words, it’s basically torture for her to sit in the audience and forcefully resist the urge to jump up and sneak backstage to take over the show, but she doesn’t really think that Quinn would appreciate that, considering that this is her first run as the production stage manager and not just an assistant.

But Santana knows too much about the behind the scenes of George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker to be content just watching from the sidelines, and if her neighbours’ annoyed glares are anything to go by, her twitchiness is more than a little obvious and definitely more than a little annoying.

Thankfully, the show is well into the second act by now, which means there’s just the Waltz of Flowers, the re-entrance of the Sugar Plum Fairy and her cavalier, the Finale, and the bows left, and then Santana can stop jiggling her foot up and down in the audience and annoying her seat-mates. She’s always been the type of person who has to be doing something, and watching a show when she could be managing it instead is just frustrating in a million ways.

It feels like she blinks and the cast are coming out to take their bows, and then—finally—all the audience members start filing out of the theatre. Santana grabs the bouquet of flowers hidden under her seat and checks them to make sure they aren’t crushed too badly; it’s not like she has a very good reputation for having pristine flowers because something always ends up happening—whether a freak rainstorm or an uneven sidewalk or a drunk on the subway getting too close—but she’d like the bouquet to look like they hadn’t gone through a garburator for once in her life.

A couple of the stems are bent in a way that looks like one of her seat-mates stepped on them, but other than that, the flowers are actually in decent shape, which is a little surprising.

She weaves her way impatiently through the crowd of shuffling audience members still blinking blearily in the too bright house lights after over two hours spent in the dark. She knows this theatre like the back of her hand, so it doesn’t take her long before she finds her way to the back of the theatre. Even though it’s been a year since she ran this show, she’s still a familiar face around the theatre, and security barely gives her a second glance before waving her backstage.

She waves greetings to some of the cast members who were recast this year, avoids the sound guys like they have the plague, and stops to playfully make fun of how Quinn’s running the show, before she finds her way back to the principal hallway. She follows the familiar sound of banging to the end of the hallway, dodging around racks of costumes and props and half-dressed cast members, before she reaches the door she’s looking for.

The door is slightly ajar, so she pokes her head through the crack and almost laughs out loud at the sigh that greets her—the Sugar Plum Fair is half dressed in her bodysuit and a pair of old, ratty sweats that Santana is almost positive were buried in the bottom of the hamper this morning, and her blonde hair is still pinned up but her tiara is tossed haphazardly on the dresser beside a couple of dirty makeup wipes.

She’s smacking her ballet shoes against the wall with a candy cane sticking out of her mouth, and Santana takes a moment to smile at the nostalgia of it all, before she clears her throat.

The Sugar Plum Fairy glances up with a focused furrow to her brow, one that immediately clears into surprised delight. “Santana!” she gasps around the candy cane dangling from her lips, blue eyes sparkling above scrunched up cheeks, “What are you doing here?”

Santana grins, and her chest still spasms and flutters like it did the very first time she met those blue eyes. “You didn’t think I’d miss your last show of the year?” she teases as she steps halfway into the room, keeping her back in the doorway to try and keep the bouquet hidden.

Brittany rolls her eyes and carelessly tosses her ballet shoes on the coffee table that Santana’s ate countless lunches and suppers at, crossing the room to greet Santana with a quick peck around the candy cane in her mouth, leaving a sticky line of mint across Santana’s cheek. Santana wants to be annoyed, because she hates sticky candy, but Brittany’s smiling at her and her eyes are surprised and happy and she can’t bring herself to feel even the tiniest bit annoyed. “I know you didn’t want to,” Brittany says, “but you kind of have a show to run at the same time as this one, Ms. I-Made-My-Broadway-Debut-As-Production-Stage-Manager-At-Twenty-Seven.”

Santana just shrugs nonchalantly. “I’m sure they can survive one show with Zizes at the helm.”

Brittany narrows her eyes and puts her hands on her hips, which stretches her bodysuit distractingly tight across her torso, and it takes Brittany clearing her throat a couple of times before Santana’s eyes snap back up to hers—she’s a little self-satisfied, which kind of defeats her attempt at a reprimanding look. “Please tell me you didn’t waste a sick day on watching a show you’ve already seen a billion times before.”

Santana’s grin widens and she shrugs a little. “Who’s to say I didn’t book this day off months in advance because I knew it’d be your last show.”

“I wasn’t even cast months in advance,” Brittany scolds, but there’s a tiny, pleased smile playing at her lips that she can’t quite bite back.

“Maybe I just believe in my girlfriend a whole lot,” Santana shoots back, and before Brittany can even open her mouth to continue their bickering, Santana produces the bouquet of flowers from behind her back and offers them to Brittany.

Santana can actually see the way that Brittany practically melts, all retorts dying on her tongue as she slowly takes the bouquet from Santana with glowing eyes. “You can’t buy my love, you know,” she teases softly, and Santana doesn’t bother hiding the way she basically preens like a parrot seeing their reflection in a mirror at the smile on Brittany’s face and the love glowing in her eyes.

“They’re the best flowers I’ve ever gotten you,” Santana says proudly.

Brittany laughs a little in the middle of sniffing them, accidentally pressing a couple flowers into her lips at the motion. “Only three broken stems,” she acknowledges with a wide smile, “That’s a new record.”

Santana grins and rises up on her toes expectantly, grinning when Brittany playfully rolls her eyes as she takes the candy cane out of her mouth and ducks down to kiss her, soft and sweet and slow.

Brittany pulls back achingly slowly, and Santana kind of wishes this moment could last forever, even though she gets to kiss Brittany like this every single day. “I should get changed and then we can get out of here,” she says, her minty-sweet breath fanning across Santana’s slightly dazed face.

Santana blinks a couple times before blushing under Brittany’s knowing smirk. She closes the door with her hip and busies herself with her phone while Brittany quickly strips out of her bodysuit and into her comfy clothes—it’s nothing she hasn’t seen before, but she knows that if she so much as glances at Brittany, her plans for the evening are going to fly right out of her head because Brittany is beautiful and distracting and basically impossible to resist.

Brittany appears beside her barely five minutes later, her candy cane back in her mouth and Santana’s favourite scarf wrapped around her neck, her blonde hair loose and flowing over her shoulders as she zips her jacket up. “Ready to go?”

Santana nods absently and steps out into the hallway, waiting for Brittany to grab the bouquet of flowers off the coffee table and lock her dressing room door before they head down the hallway. Brittany bites into her candy cane and crunches it loudly, and Santana can’t help the tiny smile on her face, because even though she usually finds it annoying when people chew hard candies, she finds everything Brittany does endearing and amusing.

They wave goodbyes and wish Merry Christmases to everyone they pass on their way to the back exit of the theatre, skipping the crowd of people probably still lingering at the front entrance. The cold wind sweeps right through them with a swirl of snowflakes as they step outside, causing them to both shiver and huddle together as they make the trek back to Santana’s apartment, where Brittany’s been spending so much time at, that Santana’s not sure if her girlfriend can even call the apartment she used to share with Mercedes hers anymore. It had gotten lonely, Brittany had admitted, once Mercedes moved in with Sam back in September, and Santana had hinted at the fact that her apartment—which was a little closer to the theatres they both worked at—had more than enough room for the two of them. They’d been quietly intending to move in together without actually saying anything aloud since then, but Brittany’s lease won’t be up until January, so Brittany’s mostly just been using her apartment as a storage space while all her clothes and toiletries and important things are slowly accumulating at Santana’s apartment over the course of the past couple months.

Brittany’s eyelashes are dusted with snowflakes and her lips and cheeks and ears are more red than usual against the freezing wind and Santana’s never been more in love in her entire life.

Brittany doesn’t say anything when Santana silently tugs her to a stop just to kiss her, but she looks a little bit windswept and a whole lot adoring when she pulls away and they continue on their way. And, when Santana pulls her into a chaotic grocery store, she still doesn’t say anything about it, even when she smiles wide and bright and happy when she recognizes the ingredients for cinnamon buns and World Famous Pierce Hot Chocolate and movie snacks.

They make it home around five thirty, the heat from Santana’s apartment nearly painful on their frozen thighs as they kick off their boots by the mat and hang their jackets on the coat rack. Santana disappears with the groceries and Brittany’s bouquet of flowers while Brittany is still struggling to escape from her scarf, and by the time she hangs up all of her winter gear, Santana is standing in the entrance to the rest of her apartment with a shy smile on her face. Brittany blinks in confusion before slowly stepping forward to take her girlfriend’s outstretched hand and allows her to pull them both through the kitchen and into the living room.

Brittany gasps at the sight before them, and some of the nerves in Santana’s stomach ease into proud delight at the wonder on Brittany’s face. She turns to admire her work, and can’t help smiling a little bit too, knowing that all her rushing around that morning after Brittany left for the theatre was worth it.

The living room is lit only by Christmas lights and the Home Alone title screen on the television and the fairy lights around the bookshelf and the quickly fading winter sun shining weakly in through the window, the kitchen and hall lights flicked off to give the apartment a soft glow. The tree in the corner was the result of Mercedes and Sam’s help; they left Manhattan yesterday to go spend time with family for Christmas, and they had offered their tree to Santana for the rest of the holidays, knowing that Santana was planning on surprising Brittany with a decorated apartment for Christmas Eve. It had been hiding in Santana’s spare closet until this morning after Brittany left for her show, and while Santana’s decorating skills leave something to be desired, it does its job of brightening the living room with a Christmasy glow. The tinsel and glittery trees on the windowsill are courtesy of Mike and Tina, who had answered Santana’s desperate plea for help sometime around eleven with fond eye rolls and no small amount of teasing. The rest of the living room—Christmas patterned blankets and the cookies on the coffee table and the small singing stuffies on the back of the couch and the small stack of presents under the tree—are all Santana though, and she surveys the living room with pride swirling in her stomach.

Brittany turns to Santana with eyes that sparkle in the dim glow of the Christmas decorations, and Santana’s stomach swoops a little at the love that sparkles in her favourite blue eyes.

“I know we’re still not all that into Christmas,” Santana explains, only a little bit bashful under Brittany’s adoring gaze, “and we’ve both been so busy with our shows lately that we haven’t really had time to do anything festive or anything. But I figured we should still get into the spirit at least a little bit, since we have new traditions and everything.”

Santana doesn’t even have time to give Brittany a smile before her girlfriend is cupping her jaw and kissing her fiercely, and Santana can do little more than wrap her arms around Brittany’s waist and kiss her back. Brittany’s mouth is warm and desperate on hers, but her hands are tender and still cold from outside against the sides of her neck, and it’s kind of a little perfect.

“So I take it you like it,” Santana gasps when Brittany finally relents in kissing her, just long enough that Santana can breathe again.

Brittany laughs and kisses Santana repeatedly, a series of quick pecks where she does that thing where she wants to talk and kiss at the same time and just ends up mumbling everything into Santana’s mouth. “Obviously, you giant dork.”

Santana giggles against Brittany and tightens her arms around her girlfriend, nuzzling their noses together and smiling when Brittany’s hands finally slide from her jaw to around her shoulders, tugging her into a tight embrace. “Good,” Santana sighs contently, “because I kind of really liked the new traditions we made last year.”

“That’s cause you got lucky at the end of them,” Brittany snorts against Santana’s hair, giggling and squirming away from Santana when she pinches her hips in retaliation.

“I wasn’t the only one who got lucky that night,” Santana sniffs haughtily, “And if you keep talking like that, you definitely won’t be this year.”

“Please—” Santana can’t see her girlfriend’s face, but she just knows that Brittany is rolling her eyes right now, “—as if you can resist me.”

Santana doesn’t argue that statement, because they both know Brittany’s one-hundred percent correct. “Come on,” she says instead, “we gotta get started on Home Alone so we have time to have supper and make hot chocolate and watch all the other movies and do other stuff like bakin—”

“Mmm,” Brittany interrupts with a hum as she finally pulls away from Santana and starts heading towards the living room, “Am I stuff?”

Santana’s been dating Brittany for a year by now, and it’s not like she’s a stranger to sex with her girlfriend, but she still can’t help the heat she feels rising in her cheeks. Brittany coos teasingly and playfully pokes at Santana’s dimples, even as she smirks and waggles her eyebrows in a suggestive leer. Santana swats at Brittany’s hand and ducks her head, but it does nothing to hide her blush.

Brittany just laughs at her girlfriend’s embarrassed grumbling as Santana throws herself grumpily down on the far end of the couch, shamelessly cuddling up to Santana under the blanket despite Santana’s protests—though, it’s not like Santana is putting up much of a fight considering she immediately sinks into Brittany’s embrace.

The snow continues to fall outside the window, but Santana’s apartment is warm and cozy and the lights from the Christmas tree and the television and the fairy lights on the bookshelf cast the living room in a soft glow. Santana’s pretty positive that she’s going to be doing this for every single Christmas Eve for the rest of her life and, even if she won the lottery or never had to work again or something else that most people dream of when regular life gets too damn depressing, she can’t imagine ever being happier than she is right now.

“Hey,” Brittany says suddenly as Kevin is in the middle of grocery shopping by himself for the first time, and Santana really should know that something’s up by the way her girlfriend tries to bite down on her smirk, “Are we watching Gremlins after this?”

Santana seriously considers suffocating Brittany with the blanket they’re cuddling under, but instead settles on beating her with a pillow, neither of them able to contain their bright laughter as they squirm around on the couch in a one-sided pillow fight.

When 11:11 comes around after supper and hot chocolate and even more movies (including—at least for Santana—the dreaded Gremlins), neither of them are even awake to make a wish like last year, the title screen song for How The Grinch Stole Christmas playing through it’s seventh repeat.

Honestly, it’s completely fine that they miss their new tradition of making a wish at 11:11 on Christmas Eve, because neither of them have anything else they could ever want for anymore, since they already have each other.