#i'll just work around the mistake and hope for the best ig

[miserye]

genetics? what even are genetics who fucking needs genetics fuck your genetics fuck

[redbullgirly]

Hi, how are you? I saw your requests are open so can you please write a social media au where charles leclerc is dating a singer similar to Taylor and Travis's relationship and just the internet reactions to it the rest is up to you, thank you 🫶🏻

sabrina carpenter as face claims if you're okay with it

HEART ON TOUR [CL16 smau]

Charles Leclerc x singer!reader

Masterlist

Summary: Everybody wants to attend Y/N's world tour and that clearly includes the Ferrari star driver, Charles Leclerc. Though when at a concert, he doesn't get the chance to speak with the famous singer and ask her out, and then gets asked about it in an interview, he isn't shy to admit what his intentions were. Maybe that'll bring Y/N's attention to him... and it definitely will bring the fan's attention. Soon enough, rumors about the couple dating start running around.

Warnings: I worked on this for like 8 hours straight so it's very much possible there are some mistakes or spelling errors I didn't even notice after all that time XD.

Author's Note: Here you go Anon, hope you'll like it! I used Sabrina Carpenter as face claim because let's be honest, she has great photos for this type of social media au and is a singer as well. I made this more like a story of how Y/N and Charles started dating and the fans reaction to that and also somehow tried to replicate Taylor's and Travis' way of meeting, some events and timelines, but to match it with Formula 1 world. Thanks for the request and enjoy! :)

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by arianagrande, charles_leclerc, blakelively and 7,230,197 others

yourusername It's always great to be home, even if you're on a world tour!🇺🇸 Thank you LA for having me, singing in the rain with me and creating special atmosphere I'll remember my whole life!❤️‍🔥 And now Rio de Janeiro is waiting as the next stop of my Heart On Tour!✨🎤

view all 15,492 comments

user1 NO ONE looks that good in the rain except her

arianagrande perfect💋

liked by the author

user2 the concert was so good y'all don't understand now I can't live without knowing I'll see her sing again 😭💔

user3 MOTHER IS MOTHERING

user4 Real angel right here 🤍

taylorswift Nothing screams girl power more than you honey!❤️‍🔥

yourusername thx sm taylor!!! you're literally my biggest inspo ever, love youu 🥰

user5 I love how they're fighting for the most successful and profitable tour ever but still support each other!

user6 omg stop it this is so sweet🥹

user7 The tabloids that constantly try to pit them against each other should be embarrassed XD

user8 STOOOOP NOT MY TWO PARENTS INTERACTING!!!

user9 taylor swift & y/n y/l/n... the best celebrity duo ever😻

user10 ur literally the people‘s pop princess

charles_leclerc Great concert!😍

user11 ARIANA WHAT R U DOING HERE

user12 lol user11 the fact that Ariana herself is under this post as well 😭

user13 not charles trying to shoot his shot with your queen

user14 Why is my fav f1 driver randomly commenting under Y/N's post?!🤠

user15 waiiittt does this mean he's been at the concert???

user16 omg NO WAYYYY🫢

user17 guys I think he was trying to flirt w her and you kinda ruined it💀

liked by charles_leclerc

user17 what the hell-

user18 you left a whole country speechless💗

user19 More like the whole world!!!

spotify WOW 🤩

user20 I wanna be Y/N so baaad

victoriassecret If you ever retire from singing, come and be our angel!💘

user21 so who's here just to first handedly look at charle's sus comment? admit it🤨

user22 meeee

user23 I thought I'm the only one 😭

user24 well when you put it like that user21...

user25 I wish I could repost comments on ig 😃

user26 🫢🫢

user27 Yeah me too guys

user28 honestly i'm not even ashamed🤷‍♀️

user29 Models are lucky you’re not a model

user30 FR

user31 BRASIL IS WAITING FOR YOU 🇧🇷❤️

user32 i seriously dont get the hype she has 🖕

user33 Then go away lol

user34 I can sense the formula one side of twitter is going to eat this upppp

user35 It's so funny how the crazy fan girls can get hyped over one comment... like be fr yn is a world famous singer ofc charles knows about her and can be her fan 🙄

user36 yeah plus I think she said herself she knows him too and is f1 fan bc she watched it with her dad or smth

user37 OMG they're each other's fans?!🥺 Idgaf about being crazy fan girly if it means we'll get this romance story!!!

user38 UR STYLIST DESERVES A RAISE 'CAUSE DAAAMN😘

user39 maybe i'm broke now but this concert was worth the money

twitter

interview with Charles

twitter

instagram direct messages between Y/N and Charles

charles_leclerc posted on instagram

liked by pierregasly, arthur_leclerc, yourusername, shawnmendes and 2,590,231 others

charles_leclerc Good days off. ❤️

view all 4,385 comments

user1 no way a woman made it to his babygirl filter instagram feed😧

user2 it's not a woman anymore... it's THE woman

user3 Uhmm...who is that girl?? In the second picture??

user4 I have a feeling that it's Y/N Y/L/N 🤭

user4 No way oh my god?!

user5 calm down guys it isn't confirmed or anything😑

carlossainz55 You are giving everybody a headache mate

liked by the author and yourusername

user6 you tell him carlito!!!!!

user7 OMG look at who liked his comment😃

user8 WAKE UP NEW PHOTOS OF CHARLES DROPPED 🗣🗣

user9 ehm charlie honey... who is that???🧐

user10 Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/NNNN

user11 Manifesting in real life lmao

user12 whats hapeningggggg

user13 he isn't single anymore 💔💔

user14 but it's y/n ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

user15 I hope so 😔❤️‍🩹

user16 What a way to start my day

user17 i literally spat out my morning coffee

user18 this is such a random soft launch help😭

user19 You see, I know that blonde hair from somewhere... 😏

user20 DAMN

user21 sorry not sorry but that's clearly y/n in the third pic🤷‍♀️

user22 💯💯💯🥇🏆

scuderiaferrari Let's rock the next Grand Prix!❤️‍🔥

liked by the author

charles_leclerc ❤️‍🔥

user23 ADMIN TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW RN

user24 interesting choice of emoji that's associated with y/n and the heart on tour 🥸🥸

user23 SUS

user24 Hard smash

user25 i love that even while soft launching he can't let go of the aesthetic filter he uses for his whole ig💀

joris__trouche lol true

user25 ohhh hi joris😭

user26 Idk who she is and tbh idgaf 'cause she's hooot 🥵😩

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by charlec_leclerc, f1, emilia_clarke, pascale.leclerc.355 and 8,016,555 others

tagged: scuderiaferrari

yourusername cruising down the street in my red car, feeling the wind whisper secrets, oh so far. 💄🎸🏎

view all 19,120 comments

user1 i never knew i needed ferrari coded y/n to live till we got her 😩

yourusername me neither babes

user1 oh my god what does that meeaaannn???!!!

user2 pop princess is living the dream so happy for you and all of your success

scuderiaferrari Everybody is a Ferrari fan ❤️

yourusername ofc!!🫡

user3 Yes we are... just pls stop giving us depression

user4 ohhh the caption screams NEW SONG

user5 right?! it's giving ✨lyrics✨

user6 let's pray for a release soon

user7 🙏🙏🙏

charles_leclerc Red suits you ❤️

liked by the author

user8 omg

yourusername wonder why ❤️

user8 OMG

user9 i dont want to be delusional... but c'mmon they gotta be dating

user10 THIS FEEL LIKE A HISTORICAL MOMENT YALL🤭

user11 ...so we're not talking about how the gp ended (or started) for charles, right?🥲

user12 idk what you're talking about🥲

user13 formation lap? naaaah it didn't happen🥲

user14 um so like you’re actually perfect

spotify you are GLOWING 🤩

user15 mommy- sorry... mommy-sorry... MOTHER

lilymhe my girl crush strikes again

liked by the author

user16 she's just like us xd

user17 I can't blame you Lily😌

user18 PLS I'M BEGGING YOU TELL US IF UR DATING CHARLES OR NOT

user19 Yall think she's real?😍

user20 congrats on dating our babygirl driver y/n!

user20 (delulu is the solulu if you're wondering)

user21 Does Charles' mom in the likes mean something??🤔

user22 i bet he talks about y/n at home 😏

user23 you two are making me too obsessed with this couple that isn't even couple and their family relationships

user22 isn't couple YET!

user24 That's the thinking I like user22 😂

user25 ICONIC❤️‍🔥

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by maxverstappen1, sophiet, charles_leclerc, kellypiquet and 11,920,374 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername secret's out i guess... love u with my whole heart and i'll be forever glad you went to my concert!💝

speaking of music, he's also my muse y'all so be prepared for new album coming soon 😚

view all 20,199 comments

user1 AAGGHAHGDGADGASDHJGAD

user2 only acceptable reaction

user1 I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I'M MORE EXCITED ABOUT THEM DATING OR Y/N MAKING NEW ALBUM TBH

user2 again, only acceptable reaction

charles_leclerc Proud of you mi amor!😘

liked by the author

yourusername and i'm proud of you too honey 🥹🫶

user3 they're so sweet I caaaaan't

user4 FINALLY!!!! big congrats to you both

arthur_leclerc How did he even get you to date him?😆

yourusername let's say your big bro can be charming when he wants to... 😌

arthur_leclerc Okay NO NEED for details😅

yourusername xdd

user5 MY ROMAN EMPIRE

user6 everybody's roman empire im afraid😍

user7 how can you both be so damn hot?!

carlossainz55 Does this mean free tickets? 😏

yourusername we'll se about that

landonorris pls y/n

danielricciardo hiiii y/n

alex_albon think of my gf y/n

yourusername okay okay you convinced me

maxverstappen1 I bet it was Alex's comment that convinced you

yourusername ...no need to expose me like that max emilian ☹️

user8 they're the IT couple

user9 Look at how cute Charlie looks in the 5th photo🥰

user10 OMG YEEES

user11 hey am I the only one who's instagram is glitching and not working???

user12 loool Y/N and Charles broke the internet😭

user13 Yeah and they took it too literally 'cause my ig is acting weird as well 💀

user15 look at my fav couple 😻

user16 I hope she'll bring him luck in the next f1 season

scuderiaferrari Everybody is an Y/N fan ❤️

liked by the author

charles_leclerc 🫡

user17 FACTS!!!

user18 mommy and daddy right there

user19 idgaf about her and Charles THE QUEEN IS WORKING ON MORE SONGS YEEEES

f1 Welcome to the family Y/N! 🫶

liked by the author and charles_leclerc

user20 she's the best wag ever 💕

user21 THE MOMENT I WAITED FOR IS HERE

user22 I'm looking at the third photo respectfully 🤭

user23 i love this soft side of Charles omg🥺

user24 righttt? he should post photos like this as well, its better than those professional ones on his profile

user25 Totally agree with this

user26 my jaw dropped but I'm happy about it

user27 idk but charles & y/n definitely won my heart

user28 😍😍

user29 NEW ALBUUUUM

user30 Y/N Y/L/N you'll be forever famous!❤️‍🔥

BONUS

Enchanted Wheels by Y/N Y/L/N (lyrics):

Cruising down the street in my red car,

Feeling the wind whisper secrets, oh so far.

Monaco lights, they dance in the night,

As I search for a love that feels so right.

In this city so bright, I'm lost in the haze,

But I know deep inside, I'll find my soul's maze.

I'm chasing dreams, like chasing the moon,

In this journey, I'll find my love soon.

Enchanted wheels taking me away,

Through the starlit skies, where love will stay.

In the magic of Monaco, my heart takes flight,

Hoping destiny guides me to my soulmate tonight.

Driving through the streets, past midnight's hour,

Looking for heartbeats that give me the power.

In every stranger's eyes, I see fleeting sparks,

But I won't settle for less, only love from the heart.

Monaco's captivating, but love's the real deal,

I won't let go until my heart can finally heal.

The city's alive with endless possibilities,

Somewhere out here, there's a love meant for me.

Enchanted wheels taking me away,

Through the starlit skies, where love will stay.

In the magic of Monaco, my heart takes flight,

Hoping destiny guides me to my soulmate tonight.

I've been searching high and low,

Through the crowds, I hope you'll show.

I believe in fate, destiny's plan,

Perhaps you're just one turn away, my soul's lifeline.

Enchanted wheels taking me away,

Through the starlit skies, where love will stay.

In the magic of Monaco, my heart takes flight,

Hoping destiny guides me to my soulmate tonight.

With every passing mile, my hope grows stronger,

In this journey for love, I won't wait any longer.

Enchanted wheels, lead me to my greatest win,

In Monaco, I'll find my soulmate, love from within.

THE END

Author's Note: Wow, this took m longer than expected (and the worst part was finding that one picture that somehow matches Charles' instagram filter), but I'm really satisfied with the result. Hope you liked this social media au and once again, I'll be grateful for likes, comments, reblogs, follows and every other way of showing your support. Also a little disclaimer: I didn't write the whole song, just a part of it and then helped myself with AI because I'm not really good in songwriting. Though I'm still curious if you liked the bonus, so let me know. Good night! :)

[kentopedia]

♰ sent to destroy — dazai osamu

.𖥔 ݁ ˖🕸️🕷.𖥔 ݁ ˖ KINKTOBER NO. 5 - fallen angel!dazai

he promises he's not the devil, but he steals your soul with just a kiss.

contents. fem!reader, nsfw minors dni, takes place in 1920s for fun ig, actress!reader, alcohol, one mention of suicidal ideation and prostitution by reader, blasphemy, sacrilege, pls don't read this if ur religious & will get offended LMAO, angel fucking (& he has wings), bondage (thru powers), unprotected sex, cunnilingus, corruption kink, possessive sex, softish dazai, mm idk what else — 6.1k

note: i didn't edit this as thoroughly as i normally do so plss ignore any mistakes and i'll love you forever

the speakeasy fills with a thin veil of smoke, coating the room with an intoxicating mix of alcohol and nicotine. it’s a lewd place, full of degenerates and failed actresses like yourself, a crowd of people who don’t belong, but try their best to find a way to keep living. 

it’s a place where women pick up their clients, leading them to the hotel around the corner for a night they certainly won’t be paid enough for. it’s where people drown their miseries in alcohol and hope they won’t wake up in the morning. 

it is, regrettably, the only place you can afford. 

you sit alone at one of the tables, hands shaky from nerves as you smoke another cigarette, contributing just as much to the cloud that suffocates the small room. 

hoards of people make their way downtown for a sip of alcohol, the drink that has so ridiculously been banned, but you are no exception, no angel amongst the sinful devils. 

someone plays a saxophone at the front of the bar, spinning into a graceful melody of jazz that sings out to you, lulls you into an embrace that warms your core. it soothes the anxiety that has lingered with you throughout the day, the reminder that your life is tailspinning. 

you’d failed at landing yet another role, and the acting career you’d packed your bags and moved out for was plummeting. who would accept you now, now that your hopes and dreams had been for naught, now that you’d created a shameful woman of yourself and your family?

the answer was clear; but you were too stubborn too accept it, too desperate to believe that you could be up in the glimmering lights, the brightest silver star the world had ever seen. 

you lean back in your chair, stamping out the cigarette with a sigh as you stand to collect another drink. there’s not much left in your pockets, but you’ve made it work before, and you’ll keep making it work now, scrounging up coins for the relief that came with forgetting. 

the only consolation is the line of women that stand alongside you at the bar, as dejected and miserable as yourself. all of you have been labeled the failures of your families, the ones that bet on a shot in the dark. none of you expected that the road would be easy, certainly not with the way the industry is hasty to pick up only the most beautiful faces… but your ambitions had led you to believe that you, of all people, had had a chance. 

you know your beauty is endless, a sight to be admired, but even that had not been enough to secure your spot in the limelight. 

you thank the bartender as he hands you a drink, and slump back to your table, waiting for the effects of the alcohol to kick in. yet, when you stand at the edge of the table, peer at the chair you’d once been seated in, there is already a man there. 

he gazes at you with a crooked smile, eyes amused as he regards your beaten-down state.

you’ve seen him before—made every attempt not to see him again. you know what they say about him. he’s a wizard, he’s the devil, he’s a god that steals the body of a mortal, waiting to destroy the earth. all bad things, certainly, and with the way your life’s been going, you’d be a fool to get mixed up with someone like him.

still…you know of the things he’s done for people. that miracles have happened for those brave enough to ask for them. 

perhaps, you’re in need of a miracle. 

the dark-haired man leans forward, eyebrows raised as you gawk at him from the other side of the table. “no need to look so frightened,” he says, gesturing towards the other chair. “sit.” 

“i don’t want any company,” you say, straightening, pulling your drink closer to your chest. “i came here to be alone.”

his eyes flash, predatory, as if seeing down through the depths of your soul, to the very desire that lingers within. all of your dreams, your ambitions, and your loneliness are displayed to him, a flashing banner that alerts him easily of everything that’s ever been wrong with you. 

“is that so?” he asks, leaning forward, his voice deepening amongst the chaos of the speakeasy. “then, why have you been staring at me all evening?” 

you can’t help the flush that rushes to your cheek, the heat that covers your entire body. with the crowd of men and women alike that are constantly at his arm, you’d hardly thought he’d notice you.

and though you know what they say about him, he is undeniably beautiful; you’re drawn to him. there is a dark and heavenly beauty about him, something that you fear is too angelic to be of this world. his eyes glimmer almost like diamonds in the candlelit room, skin so flawless that it is nearly luminescent. 

it’s no wonder, really, that you haven’t been able to peel your eyes off of him.

you circle around his question, instead, and set your drink down on the table, lured in either by a false sense of safety, or the confidence of his grin. “i know what you are,” you say, swallowing back the fear that devils often prey on. 

he smiles, indulging you, a lifelong game he has surely played. “and what is that, my dear?” 

the mocking tone sends a cold wave down your spine, even though the sweet name seems to warm you. “i don’t believe i should say it out loud.” you’re not sure what kind of consequence that will bring you. perhaps you do not need to make a deal with him for your soul to be damned, straight to the fiery pits; maybe this conversation is enough, and already, you are on the long list of sinners that will be sent to burn.

“because you believe i am the devil? a demon sent to prey upon you and your soul, drag you down to hell once the contract you’ve made is over?” 

you say nothing, but your silence speaks loudly. 

he sighs, leans back in the chair and looks at you from under thick lashes. “i have no interest in the dealings of those fifty, lesser beings. i find that i can bargain for more enjoyable ventures.” two dark eyes trace over you, swallow you whole as he grazes your curves with his irises, the shape of your breasts under the tightness of your dress, the style shorter to match the current fashions. “so, i think we both may have something the other is interested in. please,” he gestures once more to the seat in front of him, addressing you by your first name—one you never even had to tell him. “sit.” 

nervous, you take the chair, wondering why you aren’t running away, screaming at everyone that there is a monster in your midst, a being that hunts the weak to lure them away from their misery. no wonder he has made himself a frequent customer at this place—there are people drowning in sorrows. one deal with him, and they will wake up in the morning, drowning in riches instead. 

“what do you want from me?” you ask, letting your hands fall to your sides. 

“so eager to get to the best part of my bargain, silly girl. have some patience.” he takes a sip of his own drink, pinning you with his gaze, even above the rim. you squirm under the intensity, but you, even now, can’t look away. “i know you’re struggling to find work. you’ve been here for years, and made pennies to live off of.” he reaches across the table, spins a lock of hair around his finger as he sighs dramatically. “such a shame, really. they must fear the power of your perfection if they refuse to let you shine brighter than the rest of the dull creatures that they call starlets.” 

your heart drops, stutters within the delicate bones of your skeleton before starting again, as you remember that this is how the devil would act, luring you in with sweetly poisoned words full of deceit. “they are talented—”

“they are nothing,” he snarls, banging his fist on the table so loudly that you jump, hands shaking against the beaded skirt of your dress. “you may claim to believe in your own talents, your appearance, but it is all a lie, a facade that you maintain to protect yourself. you are the one holding yourself back, and unless you let me help you, you’ll get nowhere.”

you feel tears burn. “you mean to lure me away from the path of god—”

his eyes narrow. “i mean to free the human race from the chains that religion has bound on them. there is nothing for you in the afterlife but an existence of slavery. one to a malicious devil who only wishes to torment, or one to a god who doesn’t love you.” 

it confuses you, the way he speaks of these beings as if he is not on the side of heaven or hell. as if there could be another option. it seems surreal, a secret that you should not have been told; since the day you were born, you have learned of the path of righteousness, the will of god. 

that is the only way you can obtain a life of peace… yet, there is a creature before you, claiming to offer you a third path, one that doesn’t have you bowing down for a god that won’t answer your prayers. 

it may be foolish, the work of the devil, but you are willing to listen. you are already lured in by this graceful creature with a charming smile and a quick tongue, and you don’t know if it will take much more for you to succumb to him completely. 

already, you have lost your way—you would do anything to escape your unhappiness.

“what is it you’re after, then?” you ask, your voice softer, weaker than you anticipated. 

he laughs, and lets his head tilt sideways, studies you before answering. “my father has cast me out of heaven; i plan to build my own religion of followers, tearing them away from that idiot of a being they call their god. because i am much stronger, much wiser, and the only way that they can find peace after their death is by trusting that i will give it to them.” 

you swallow, twining your fingers together, and think. “you’re… an angel?” 

he waves his hand. “a fallen one.”

there are things about the world that you do not understand, but you know that god has not once help you when you were drowning without a savior. he did not guide a helping a hand when you contemplated dragging a knife across your wrists, and yet, here is something, someone wanting to save you from just that. how is it that god can be more benevolent than those he casts out, when you have seen nothing but the opposite?

“you want me to join you, then?” you ask, drawing your eyebrows together. “if i join you, you’ll give me what i desire?”

“well… that is usually the bargain i offer. however,” he hums, eyes flashing as they scour your body. he looks at you hungrily, like he has never seen a being like yourself. “it has been a while since i’ve seen a human as beautiful as you.” 

you swallow, blinking at him with wide eyes as you grow hot all over. this would not be the first time you’ve sold your body for fame, but never has it been with a man as stunning as the angel before you. “you mean… if i fuck you, you’ll give me whatever i want?” 

he sniffs, repulsed by your suggestion. “always so lewd, you mortals.”

your eyebrows knit together. “but you said—”

“i don’t want you for one night. i want you forever. i want you to swear your body over to me for the rest of your life, let me use it as i wish, bear my children.” he traces your features, grazes a thumb over your jaw, your lip. his eyes are hard, and you swallow, wondering why your stomach flips. “you are meant to be mine.” he smiles, and though you can see the mischief within it, for some reason, there is also softness there as he crosses his arms over the counter. “but if you aren’t interested, then the deal is off the table. i have no need for someone who doesn’t want me in return.” 

you blink back at him, observing the seriousness of his expression, the softness lurking within the pools of his deep brown eyes. perhaps he is a vengeful angel… but he is offering you a life that is much more promising than the one you have now. would it really be so bad to give yourself to him, to spend the rest of your life in his arms, when he promises to give you everything you’ve ever wished for?

“i—” you hesitate, unsure how to even begin to answer the question, when you didn’t quite understand what it was that he needed from you.  

“i’ll give you some time to think about it. after all, it is a decision that will affect the rest of your life.” he stands to his feet, and it is then that you notice there are some eyes on you, the women he typically has hanging off of him watching your interaction with bated breath. “when you have an answer, just call for me. i’ll be there.” 

“wait,” you say, turning in your chair to face him. “i don’t even know your name.” 

“you can call me osamu.” he smiles and winks at you, tucking his jacket closer as he begins to walk away. “we’ll be in touch."

three weeks pass before you see him again. 

you’d decided quickly what you would say to him, and after two weeks worth of auditions that led to nothing, drinking without a friend in the world, alone to rot in your bedroom, you’d made up your mind.

osamu’s proposal, now, after everything you’d suffered, seemed too good to be true. how long had you wished for a companion, for money, for a steady job—and now, these were all things he promised to provide you, if only you’d stand by his side. 

you’d called to him at the start of the week, said a prayer to any angel named osamu that was out there—but no one came. 

night after night, you said the same prayer, wondering, if perhaps, you’d been made a fool of. that everything he had said was a lie, and you, truly, were doomed to live an unhappy life. maybe, he was mocking you for your misfortunes, for your weak heart. 

though, on the twenty-first day after your discussion, you awaken to a figure standing in the corner of your room, watching you with hawklike eyes, the shadow of a wingspan shaped out behind him. 

you gasp, nearly letting out a scream as you scramble to a seated position in your bed, bringing the sheets up to your chest. the man is nothing more than a silhouette, so dark in the moonlight, but you know, without seeing his face, that he is the one you’ve been searching for.

“osamu,” you say, trying to quell the fear that has made a home in your chest. you gawk at him as he uncrosses his arms, sauntering over like he owns the place, like he’s been here before, knows the shape of your body, even under the sheets you hide within. “you heard my prayers.” 

“i apologize for not coming faster,” he smiles in the darkness, teeth glimmering under beams of starlight. his face becomes visible then, and it steals your breath away—he is more stunning than you remember, skin nearly glowing, golden. “you were beginning to sound desperate.” osamu watches as your breathing evens out, your eyes flicking over his features. “is that still the case?” 

he is a sight to behold sitting before you, the very essence of power seeping off of him in waves. a creature crafted from the hands of god, shaped to be the very thing that would protect the weaker creations. 

osamu’s skin, his hair, every inch of him is without flaws, while you are but a sinful human girl who succumbs to each of her urges. 

“i want—” you stop, realizing that you’re not sure what you want. to be an actress, yes, a famous starlet that is cherished by the masses. but, when you look at osamu, the soft, plump shape of his lips, the lean limbs that hide under his tailored coat, you wonder if fame, security, comfort—perhaps, those aren’t the only things you desire from this exchange. “i accept—”

“you sound uncertain,” he interrupts, eyebrows drawing together in a scowl. “you called me here, begged me to come steal you away, and now, you change your mind?”

“no!” you say, scrambling to grab his wrist as he starts to stand from the bed, his eyes flashing as you reach for him on all fours. “i’m not changing my mind. i want to be famous, i want to be yours.” you swallow, choking out the word as it turns your cheeks warm, the heat making its way up from your toes. 

it hit you harder that you anticipated, the taste of belonging to another. you aren’t sure if its because you’ve craved the connection for so long that it’s twisting your insides, turning you into something desperate, or if, already, you feel an invisible string tying you and this stranger together. 

“but?” osamu asks, still seeming like he’s about to flee, his eyes hard, blinking back at you. there is something about you that he wants, but he won’t take it, not unless you crave him just as much. it muddles your mind, confuses you—he could have anyone, could take anything. yet— 

“but why do you want me?” you ask, releasing him to curl your fingers around the blanket. “i don’t understand.” 

osamu balks, then laughs, his eyes crinkling as he regards you with some sort of gentleness. “perhaps i have always loved humans a little too much, much more than i should, at least.” he curls a piece of your hair around his finger, hums to himself. “innocent creatures that my father cursed with misery, blaming their own sinfulness against them.” osamu licks his lips, hungry as dark eyes cover your face. “but it’s not entirely your fault that you must bear the torment of generations. just as it is not my fault that i was born with a lust for something much more delicate than the creatures of heaven.” 

he strokes your cheek, fingers grazing you like you are nothing more than a piece of glass, that you might shatter under the force of his power. perhaps you would—with too much, he might break you, turn you into a pile of ash with a snap of his finger.  

“but there are millions of us to choose from,” you say, sweating under the blanket as your heart pounds in your chest. the breadth of his power becomes more obvious with every passing second, and yet, you crave  a taste of it. “what makes me so special?”

he wraps a large palm around your jaw, thumb pulling at your lower lip. the tip of it dips into your mouth as you watch him with wide eyes, frozen, but not from fear. “i was meant to be your guardian angel, to be the guide that leads you away from the devil until your dying breath.” he moves closer, dipping his head towards your lips, brown irises never leaving your own. “and yet, the moment i laid eyes on you, i had already broken the first rule.” 

you stumble over your syllables, whispering them breathlessly. “and what’s that?” 

osamu smiles, muttering the words against your mouth, his voice ghosting over your skin. “angels are wired to protect those that we are assigned to,” he says, swiping his tongue against your lip, just barely kissing you, the sounds low and breathy. “we’re not supposed to want to fuck them.” a finger drags slowly, sensuously up your arm, and you can’t move, can’t do anything but watch as he pushes you, sinks you slowly into the bed. “i have never wanted anything as badly as i want you.”

you breath, in and out, slow, as the heat settles in your stomach, a burning pool of need churning there. it’s been so long—so long—since anyone has touched you in a way that is kind, has wanted to please you, instead of steal from you. “all that, just for me?” you ask cheekily, though you’re still not sure that he is telling the truth. 

maybe he is the devil, but you no longer care. his voice is so sweet with praise and affirmation, bleeding into the softness of your heart. 

he shrugs. “perhaps i was always meant to fall.” your head hits the pillow. you aren’t sure when he got you pinned on the bed. osamu looms over you with wide, burning eyes, licking his lips with an ache he doesn’t bother to hide. 

“osamu,” you shudder, grabbing his bicep to steady yourself. it is too much, suddenly, all at once. you are filled with need for him, clawing at his skin as he commands complete control over you with nothing but his words. “i—”

your sentence is stolen away by a kiss, one that burns from your mouth all the way down to your toes. it twists something within you, turns you into a monstrous being that you had not realized you were, longing so recklessly to be touched. 

his hands roam over your body, touch featherlight as he removes your dress, drags it slowly off your body, eyes grazing over every inch of your skin like he wants to devour your whole.

he makes a low sound in the back of his throat, fingers lightly dipping down your chest, between the swell of your breast to your ribcage. “how cruel of our father to keep us from such divine creatures,” he says, leaning down to kiss up your stomach, lick the skin around your breasts. “perhaps we are the ones that are truly being punished.”

you writhe under him, hands curling in his hair as his own dips between your thighs. grabbing his scalp hard, you yank him back up to your lips, and your eyes meet, both dark and dangerous as you brush your nose against his own. “you are punishing me right now.” 

“is that so?” he laughs, eyes flashing with humor. “such a greedy, impatient little thing.” osamu slips out of his coat, his shirt, revealing the tent that has already grown in his slacks. they are the next to go, and his golden skin is revealed, the perfection of every line and angle of his body heavenly and refined. he leans down to whisper in your ear, breath ghosting the shell of it. “act like such a princess, but i know you want to be fucked until you can’t form a single thought, don’t you?” he says, and the coolness of his voice has you squeezing his shoulders, gasping out his name.

your skin burns, your chest burns, an ache gathering and settling deep in your stomach. your cunt throbs as you look at the angel before you, and he kisses down your neck, bites a hard bruise into your collarbone. 

you whimper, wondering why you ever questioned going with him, when he could make you feel this good from nothing more than his hands on your skin. 

“such pretty fucking tits.” he swirls his tongue around your hardened nipple, teasing the bud as you cry out loudly in the silent room. far too loudly for the thin walls, the cheap apartment. yet, you wonder if you care that your neighbors can hear the noises that come with your pleasure. 

“that’s it,” he purrs, kissing down your stomach before his lips reach your hipbone, smiling into the sensitive skin there. “so quiet before… thought i was doing something wrong.” 

“n-no,” you say, chest rising quickly as you watch him hover above your soaked cunt with anticipation. “feels good.” 

osamu smiles, spreads your legs farther, so your dripping, aching hole is on display, embarrassingly, every inch of you vulnerable to him. “look at you,” he says, eyes hazy as he holds you tight, digs his fingers in your skin. “so fucking perfect. bet you taste as good as you look.” 

there isn’t a moment for you to say a word—his head is already between your thighs, kissing your clit before sweeping his tongue through your folds, gathering up the wetness. a moan leaves his lips, and the vibration sends a wave of need through you as you squeeze his hair, force him back down on your cunt, nose dragging against your clit. “osamu, please.”

“ah, ah, ah,” he stops, licking his lips that are moist from your juices as his head lifts from between your thighs. a dark smile stretches across his features, calculating and cruel. “where are your manners, sweetheart? i don’t want you to cum too quickly.” 

you’re not sure what he means until you feel your hands pinned to the bed by an invisible force, the power of the angelic creature before you, finally obvious. you can’t move, can’t even writhe against him, even as you try to thrust your hips forward, gain any sort of relief from the position. 

he laughs at you, so pitiful at your desperation to be touched. “much better,” he says, and returns to lap at your cunt, tongue already stretching you as his fingers graze your thigh. 

“s-samu,” you say, feeling the heavy pressure build down in your stomach. “want,” your cheeks grow hot, and you’re tingling with a need to touch him, but you can’t move. his pace is too steady, too slow. you’ve never wanted to scream more. “want your fingers. please, please.” 

“please? such a good girl.” osamu grins against your pussy. the sound of his tongue slurping at your arousal is loud in the darkened space, and you clench around him, burning with need and shame. “you taste so good, too. better than any of the fucking shit in heaven. fuck.” he slips a finger in then, working at your clenching hole as his tongue curls around your clit, rubbing at the sensitive bud. 

your words leave you in a cry, every muscle in your body aching. “please, i want to move. let me touch you, i want to, i—”

“i’m not letting you go that easy,” osamu says, and he pulls his mouth away, his face glistening, soaked. his fingers curl into you and you squeeze your eyes tight as he reaches deeper, to the second knuckle. “you’re so fucking worked up. bet you could cum at the sound of my voice alone.” 

“i wanna, please, i’m so close—"

he laughs, looking up at you from under dark lashes. “already?” the sound is mocking, nothing about it soft as he kisses your inner thigh. he sees the desperation in your irises as you can do nothing but stare, unable to twitch a single muscle. “gonna cum all over my face?” he asks, and he’s back between your legs, tongue diving into you. “make a mess on me, sweetheart, wanna see that pretty face of yours when you cum.” 

you don’t think you’ve every felt like this before, basked in the moonlight as the angelic man soaks his face with your desire, smiling at the sight of you so sinful. your heart hammers in your chest as you remember what you’ve promised him—that you would be his forever and, perhaps, this is what forever entails. 

breathy moans leave you, and with each thrust of his tongue, you’re left with less words on your lips, less thoughts in your mind. “feels so good, you’re so good, osamu,” you babble, over and over. 

osamu reaches the deep spot inside of you, and you squeeze him, clenching as you come on his fingers, cry out in the space of black room, nothing but the stars to guide you. you’re not sure you’ve ever come this fast before, not without the help of your own hands, but osamu just continues to lap at your cunt, drinking the juices and making lewd noises of pleasure at the taste of you. “mm,” he hums, “so fucking perfect.”

he fists his cock, already hard as his tongue swirls inside of you, and you lose any train of thought, too focused on the way he’s making you feel. 

osamu is hard, leaking before he shifts onto his knees, rubbing his cock between your folds, gathering slick at the tip. “want my cock, baby? such a pretty thing deserves it, don’t you think?”

you nod, muttering syllables you don’t even understand. osamu teases you, drags his cock against your hole as he kisses your lips. 

“use your words, sweetheart,” he smiles. his soaked fingers leave patterns of your own slick on your stomach. 

you groan, eyelashes wet. “want your cock, ‘samu, please, wanna be stuffed so full,” you babble, and you can’t do anything but lay there, even though you want to touch him, want so badly to shift your hips into him. “please, osamu, please,” 

he makes a noise in the back of his throat, grinning as he plays with your nipple, lining himself against your dripping hole. “so fucking sweet for me, anyone would think you were the angel, wouldn’t they?” osamu asks, and then he sinks into you, slow, eyes careful as he searches for any pain in your features. 

you blink up at him, making a soft noise as you writhe under your skin. “b-big,” you say, feeling him stretch your walls as he sinks further. 

though his eyes are careful, he doesn’t bother to stop, each second dragging as he inches further into you. he laces his fingers with yours on the bed, grinning as dark hair falls into his eyes. “i think you can take it, can’t you? you’ve been sogood for me already.” 

sucked into the coolness of his gaze, you don’t realize that he’s released you from whatever spell you’ve been trapped under, kept helpless on the bed. you gasp as he sinks into you completely, aching from a mix of discomfort and the deep need with you. 

“too much,” you say, but he sinks further, deeper, and your walls clench around him, bringing a heavy groan out of both of you. “fuck, please, let me move, i—” 

“i’m not stopping you,” he kisses you hard, sloppy as his saliva drags across your lips. there’s a possessiveness in the way he fucks you, dragging his mouth across your own, claiming you as his. “you take it so fucking well, angel, slipping right into this soaked pussy.”

his words take a moment to reach your disoriented mind, and when you try to move, you can, your hands flying to his shoulders to bring him closer. your whimpers are loud in the hollow room, and osamu loves the sound of you, drinking each little whisper in like a heavenly elixir. 

“you’re so pretty,” he says, kissing across your forehead as you arch into him. “making you feel good, hm? so fucking innocent, and i’m ruining you.” 

“mmm,” you force the sound out as osamu thrusts into you, hard against the mattress, his hips moving in a steady, fast rhythm. hair is sticking to his forehead with sweat, his brown eyes even darker in the midnight hour. 

your fingers graze across his back, between his shoulder blades, and though your touch is featherlight, he freezes, stops immediately with a loud groan as he clamps his teeth down on your shoulder. 

you breath in sync, your chests rising and falling together. “osamu?” you ask, staring up at him, his eyes pinched together tightly as he grits his teeth. 

“sensitive,” he says, and his voice is hoarse. “fuck, i’ll cum on the spot if you touch me there.” 

you blink, your haziness clearing as you let your hands fall to your sides. it takes you a moment to realize why he would curl away from your touch there, why he would—

“your wings?” you ask, and he drags his gaze back up to your’s, nodding, before dropping his head onto your collarbone. he exhales into your neck, resuming a slow, steady pace inside you. though, you place a hand on his chest, feel his erratic heartbeat. “can i see?” 

“you don’t want to.” 

you pinch your eyebrows together, but he shifts his hips, forces a cry out of you as you collapse back down against the mattress. “i do,” you argue, but he’s fucking you mercilessly, sensuous sounds echoing in the room as he attempts to distract you. “i want to.” 

he’s about to deny your request, but you let out another soft please, batting your eyelashes so sweetly. your cheeks are flushed from the heat in the room, and, for some reason, he relents, bowing his head in some sort of remorse. slowly, his wings span out across the room. 

you lose your breath for a moment as you stare at them, muddled from the feeling of him inside and the beautiful sight before you. the wings are thick, black and feathery, spanning the length of the room, casting a dark shadow over you. they’re strong and unwavering, with a sheen that could be seen only on a raven, the light turning the shades from a deep purple to green. 

“oh,” you can’t mutter anything else as he drags his tip against the sensitive spot inside you. “oh, they’re so beautiful. fuck, osamu, i can’t—”

you can’t stop yourself from touching them, dragging a gentle touch against one of the feathers. osamu cries out, groans into your mouth as your walls clench around him, sweat dripping between you as your chest presses against his own.

“shit,” he says, forehead pressed to yours. “oh, i’m so close. gonna make me come, aren’t you, baby? squeezing me so fucking tight, touching me like that.” 

his eyes are hazy, and, somehow, for some reason, he’s let you have control of the situation. he kisses your face, treats you with a gentleness you didn’t think he was capable of, his lips so warm against your skin. 

the dark, heavy wings cage you in, falling over the two of you, and you run your fingers against them once more as you feel another orgasm creep upon you. your clit rubs against him, and your slick drips between the two of you, down your thighs as your breath catches in your throat. 

for a moment, you revel in the feeling of him deep inside you, and you close your eyes, his feathered wings so soft under your palm, letting your pleasure overtake you.

though that is short-lived as osamu pinches your jaw.

“hey,” he says gruffly, “look at me. want to see those pretty eyes of yours when you cum.” and though his eyes are soft, delicate from the way you’re stroking his wings, he sounds so mean, so possessive. “gonna fuck all my cum inside you, cause you’re mine now.”

your fingers curl around the feathers, hard as you tug him down towards you. osamu moans deep into your mouth when you clench around him, your orgasm rolling over you again as you scream his name into the blackness of the room. 

“such a good girl f’me, fuck, i—” he doesn’t finish his sentence, already filling your soaked pussy with his cum. it seeps deep inside of you, coating your walls white until he pulls out, lets his seed drip between the two of you. 

osamu presses his fingers across your face, dragging the delicate touch around your jaw, your chin as you breath heavily, still awestruck by the creature before you. you’re exhausted, sleepy, eyes hazy as you regard him with stuttered breath. 

but he doesn’t let you go, kissing you over and over again with flushed lips. “i know you can give me one more,” he says in a low voice, humming against your throat. “my perfect mortal girl. just one more, and i’ll give you whatever you want, got it, pretty?” 

your body aches, sensitive and spent, but you don’t object when he slips another finger into, kissing you hard as he lets you touch his raven wingspan. 

you’d always wanted to be an actress, anyways. 

tags: @hannzai @cha0thicpisces @kissesmellow21 @sukiischaotic @hinata7346

OCTOBER MASTERLIST

[celestialblushxoxo]

Exchange Reading:

So glad to be able to do this for you! I already sent you my question (which was the continuation of my previous reading) and ig I've sent the link in the inbox too so you can get my intials and all from there :)

Your Question/Reading:

Reading about Your Future Spouse

Your Reading:

Hey DS ♈

Here's what I can channel for you. I hope it resonates and if it doesn't then I'm sorry:(

I also need you to know that I anything negative comes in the real,I'll straight up tell you that because I know that tarot isn't about sugarcoating :)

Please ignore the typo errors if any.

I used tarot and intution for this reading.

So right off the bat,I can see that your future spouse is someone that's very lucky themselves in their life. Lol. They are the type of guy that always gets what they want , no matter how unlikely it seems. I see they come from a privileged family,so no matter what they do--at the end they get what they want lol.

So your future spouse is also someone who's well traveled and been to alot of countries. They're also very experienced. But I don't see that they're hard-working lol,more than that they're talented. They're privileged. But they're not hard-working,they're just not used to being that. I see that they are very social. They have a huge group of friends and love to socialize. They're used to having alot of people around them, although I see that some of them can be or are toxic to them,but your fs doesn't care about them.

Just because they're not hard-working, doesn't mean that they're lazy or anything. Firstly, they're privileged. And secondly, they're smart. They're sharp enough to make the same amount of money that any person makes in 24 hours ,in just an hour. I sense speculative business here, but I can see that they work in their family business as well.

The World Card and 6 of swords are totally showing that your fs is not in your current city. They're from another place, likely another country. It could be their home city,or it could be that they just live there since their childhood.

For the negative aspects,I'm getting that your future spouse is a bit careless at times. Like about little things,not major ones. They can forget their keys and crucial things at moments lol. They are bad at remembering dates,so it'll be a tough time to remember your birthday (ops👀). But they're very nurturing and caring,and so you'll let go of certain things like these.

Your fs embodies a young energy,and could be into some sports as well. They could love seeing a certain sports or actually playing it,but they're not the best at it. Sometimes,they can be a bit too immature they you might not like tbh, but they'll mature once they'll get married and learn about life aspects. For some reason,I guess they're the youngest of the house or the only child (understandably, because they're soo pampered 👀)

I can see that they'll want you to treat th like a kid,which will be adorable for you at times,while other times--youll be just plainly annoyed. Although he earns like a man,and does his work with class-- but at home,he'll be the guy that'll want you to choose his clothes for him,make breakfast for him--and at the start of the marriage--yeah it's good and all,but other times you'll be actually hating that habit of his.

As for his past relationships, he'll have dated a few girls before you,but nothing much serious. As he embodies this child like energy,I think he rarely took relationships THAT seriously. But intuitively,I get that there was a childhood friend of his,that he truly fell in love with,but she went away and the love wearied off. (but don't worry , you'll be the love of his life). Your fs is very open to everyone,that some people might mistake it as "flirting" at times so that'll be something he'll have to learn to fix lol 👀

So for his style,I saw the color "beige","grey" and "light purple". He'll have a class to his clothes,but I see that this person may be having pop of a bit colors in their wardrobe. I see a huge wardrobe here,but he has a subtle artistic touch to his wardrobe. Sorry,but can't channel any specific cologne for now. But I see that the colognes he uses are not very strong,they're light--something that'd smell good yet don't overpower at all. Idk why lemons came in my mind (?)

He's someone lean and most probably taller than you. I can't see prominent huge muscles here,but the body is definitely toned. Someone who takes care of his diet and himself for sure.

Overall,this reading was about your fs more than the relationship but I know for sure,that your relationship together will be beautiful despite the ups and downs. You may meet him at a cafe or restaurant or even while travelling. And it'll be a pleasant first meeting.

That's all I channel for now ✨

Channeled Song:

Aw so it seems like your future spouse will adore you just the way he is adored by everyone. He'll be head over heels for you lol. But he'll need to change up abit to be a perfect partner for you, because you'll already be perfect for him

Cards You Got:

6 of swords,3 of wands,Page of Pentacles,King Of Swords(rev),9 of wands (rev), The World,3 of cups,2 of cups

Hope it resonates 🦋

Have a great year ahead of you 💖

GURL OMG I don't know what to say, I'm speechless, spellbound the way I was blushing as I read all this man I don't have enough words to express how much detailed and precise it's is!! Everything literally Everything except maybe the city part that's new but except for that every detail resonated with all the readings I have gotten as well as have done for myself like woaaaaah that's freakin insane😭😳🙌🙌 it's like a compilation of all the readings I have gotten, it's so crazy. He comes from a very privilaged family and that he is very lucky, I've literally been told by almost everyone and I myself have been told that by my guides. And the family business and travelling part, Istg that also resonates, scratch that the cologne part also resonates you know. AND NOT ADORE YOU COMING UP I Love Harry Styles so much and like this is one of my favourite songs😭🥺 and even the part of him wanting to baby me and nurture me, I have been told this as well so so many times and how he might be the youngest or only child also. His youthful energy makes sense(me having mercury in my 7th house). Whatever you said is also what aspects in my birthchart say lol. The moodboard, gurl it's so ughh🤤🤤🤤 like I literally love that style on men and thank you for being honest on the negative aspect as well, really appreciated🙌🙌 I can go on and on on how much it resonates, it's craaazy!! Love love the reading and the wardrobe, bro istg I've always been so mesmerized with them lol. Even the relationship ones seem to resonate cause I've been told that he is more experienced (I've never been in a relationship sike😂) You are super talented and sweet, hope you enjoy your reading as well and thank you so so much for this looking and detailed reading it feels amazing🥺🥺💗💗✨✨

ONTO YOUR READING *drumroll*

Him as a person:

So your fs is someone who comes from a very privilaged position, they are confident, self reliant and independent. They aren't at all dependent on anyone. Even though they may have come from a privilaged family, they themselves earn enough so it's like their family may have helped them start their business/firm and now they are running it by themselves. They are very determined and if they want to achieve something, oh boy ain't no one gonna stop them. They are powerful. They might get defensive sometimes tho. They believe in justice and if they think any unjust is happening, they won't shy away to fight back!

They aren't someone to talk behind people's back and are very straightforward. They've had their fair share of heartbreaks and relationships but that never stopped them cause they knew that their forever us somewhere out there. They are someone who is peaceful and they don't like chaos. There is a possibility that they may have had 1/2 crazy ex situation but don't worry they'd never let anything happen to you or the relationship, they are very protective and kinda possessive!? They may love reading tho and sports. They may love swimming as well. No matter how many relations they had, there wasn't a problem from their end cause they are a loyal individual.

Your Relationship (Initially):

Ok so initially like maybe before dating or after 1/2 dates, there is dishonesty about feelings. They may not get themselves to think that they are in LOVE. Like yes they had been in relationships but never in love, never felt the way they felt with you. It drives them crazy, they feel more protective, they feel more drawn. They aren't someone who is a feeler, they are analytical but with you, whenever you're down they feel down and whenever you're happy, they never want to let that smile ever fade. They wonder what is wrong with them. They may be distant. They want to process why they are feeling like this. They don't get it. I feel this huge lump in my throat as I type, maybe they feel that around you or when they think about you.

They don't want to see you with any other guy but they don't want to admit how much they love you and have fallen for you. They see you as someone so amazing and a literal empress. But they just can't bring themselves to admit this. They maybe worried that you don't feel the same and that you may betray them and all this is just the effect from being single.

Reconnecting stage(after admitting they love you to themselves lol):

Ok so one day they'll just text you, like suddenly that "Can we meet?" And you will be like uhmm excuse me? But you'll agree to meet lol. So this is the day they may confess and tell you how they never planned to fall in love and they never thought they'd find someone like you and how lucky they are to have you in their life. They'll be so clear that you'll be stunned. (Do you know that audio which is going viral, 'The woman was too stunned to speak' so same)😂😂 and they'll literally be so vulnerable that you'll see tears starting to form and you won't be able to control yourself as well.

You would confess how you feel and tell them honestly the way it is. It's going to be intense but like in a good way like the sudden shit, it's woahhhh. Y'all will be like, did that just happen uhmm is this real, please tell me it is🥺

This is the exact same background I got, likee, idk if it would resonate but seems important.

After Marriage:

Ok so you guys will have your own ups and downs. Every relationship does right. Your fs looks incredibly handsome like they have so many admirers istg so initially you may feel a bit insecure cause they are so confident and they literally can have anyone they want but he will make sure to let you know that you're the only one for him. It may happen in the other way as well. There is a possibility that even tho you know he is a really good and generous person at heart, but you have been friends before something it became more so you might get worried that he may go back to his old ways but eventually you will realise how much he has changed.

They may have been cold initially when you met or to people in general or they didn't have a good tone with some people but after meeting you it's like the tables have turned. You both may donate to charities and stuff. Charity balls!?? They may like partying tho and they love good, expensive stuff. Watches and colognes are prominent. They may have beard. But coming back to your marriage, y'all may travel a lot. They love gifting you and spoiling you. You my girl, his parents might literally be thankful to you as in how the hell could you tame this wild animal lmfao. Like literally they are a beast outside but when they are with you and around you they are a baby. It's literally like Beauty and the Beast. They'll treat you with do much care and respect and you will love them so much cause they are always making sure you feel good. You may work when you meet them but after marriage I feel you may not because they are so wealthy they'd be like look love you don't have to work we can travel around the globe. Lol. But they'll give you a choice if you want to, no force. Y'all will manifest great things together and feel as if you guys are each other's manifestation come true. You will have a very fruitful marriage. Y'all may argue or the playful debate may go a bit far lol but they exactly know how to make up😏🙃 they'd love to give you flowers and take you out on dates. They may live your fiesty nature and how nurturing and caring you are.

Look wise: I see broad shoulders, good fashion sense, may like both casual and formal clothes, well groomed, beard, very toned body may hit the gym regularly, tall, very very charming and handsome, hands may have long fingers, intense eyes and long torso possibly. May love sneakers. Sharp features. Intense stare. Smells good and really nice dressing sense. Their aura itself screams RICH$$

Your moodboard for the relationship:

For your songs:

This is literally how they'd feel when they are in the denial phase and so like omg each and every lyric, all I could think is this song.

And also this

Same description as above and what they held back from saying to you!!

Considering your relationship:

This song is so nice, this is your theme song I guess that's what you can say. Check out the lyrics and the songs for a 3 and I hope you enjoyed your reading, I'm sorry if it doesn't I tried my best hope it resonates🥺🥺🙈🙈 thank you so much for the exchange once again and have a lovely day ahead sweetie💗💗🦋🦋✨✨

[marshmallowprotection]

Heyyyy!

Can I pleaseeee request a matchup?

I'm a straight female, prefer men.

I'm a January aquarius, INTP. I'm an introvert.

I'm kinda fat, somewhat short-heighted (5'3"), I have light tanned skin and black curly hair that's a bit too straight at some places (I burned my hair while straightening them). I'm a lil bit insecure so I prefer loose clothes, and I usually wear pjs at home (I can even wear night suits for the entire day).

About my personality...although I am an introvert, I blend well with people outside. I try my best to make everyone smile, and crack jokes to cheer up everyone around me. I'm kinda dumb so even if anyone insults me, I don't get to know and I still be nice to them? (I'm kinda happy go lucky ig).

Under stress, I get a lot of mood swings and sometimes become a cry baby. Lots of sarcasm and cringey jokes in my life. I am emotionally intelligent, so I know how to deal with sad people.

I like cooking, drawing, reading and dancing. I like pop music. My current favourite song is " "2step". I like travelling, especially when I get to make plans spontaneously. I'm a biology nerd, and I like anime.

I'd definitely like a partner who can love me for who I am and can accept my body. I need a partner who will love me no matter what, and I'll do the same for them!

Also, if you can, then please do not match me with Yoosung or V. Pleaseeee. They won't get along with my personality ig?

That's all I had to say. Thank you so so much. Also, I hope not having Yoosung or V is okay with you? If it's not then no problem! I'd love to hear your thoughts on who would be a perfect match for me!

Have a great day!

P.S. I'm new to this blog so forgive any mistakes please! I couldn't find the rules page...

The Rules page doesn't show up on Mobile, unfortunately. But, here's that link just in case you need it!

I match you with...

Zen! 

If there's one person that understands what it feels like to be uncomfortable with your sense of self, it is Hyun Ryu. It takes a lot of hard work to be able to learn how to love yourself, and it can take even longer to learn that it's okay to be loved by other people for who you are. Insecurities are the bane of everyone's existence, they're just not easy to unlearn after you've been dealing with them for a long time. In your case, you need somebody that is willing to hype you up and remind you that you are worth everything. What better man to do that than Zen?

Even though he's a man that is seemingly laced with glitz and glamor, he's a Down to Earth person. He doesn't care about all things being perfect. He doesn't care about the image being just right, or whatever the public wants to think about him. The only thing that he cares about is knowing that the people he loves are happy. He says himself that as long as you're happy now, and he's happy. Your beauty is everywhere to him. Your smile, your eyes, your face, your personality, your body... he loves all of you. He knows what it feels like to be insecure so he wants to hype you up so that you never forget how much you are worth to him. 

He loves to travel... he loves spur of the moment trips. Hop on his bike with him and there’s no telling where you’ll stop. isn’t there something poetic about being able to go anywhere you want with Zen... to enjoy the views of the world before he pulls off to show you the sights and sounds? Hold him tight, because he’ll never let you go. 

[suganovakawa]

i have been holding this idea to myself for an entire MONTH AHAHA but here we are , i’m a big gorl now and i really wanted to share the angst — along with finally starting a blog on tumblr . so yeah ! i’m new , pls be kind to me , i have food 👉🏼👈🏼 i hope you enjoy my first story !

𝐒𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐄 .

PAIRINGS : tooru oikawa x fem! reader

GENRE : angst , romance

TRIGGERS : bits of cursing here n there , ig ?

SYNOPSIS : tooru doesn’t understand how special you are to him until he comes close to losing you forever . as he struggles to comes to grips with his feelings and balance it with his future , you still have to recover from your own injuries , but without your memories to assist you .

[ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄 ] > 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐖𝐎 .

the beginning of a storm ; why was tooru at seijoh so late ?

word count : 1.9k .

saudade masterlist.

SAUDADE

( 𝐧 . ) a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant , or that has been loved and then lost ; “ the love that remains ”

⠀"tooru? i've tried calling you for almost an hour now... what are you still doing here?" the janitor had allowed you an entrance inside seijoh, your light jacket pressed against your body as you scuffled through the gym doors, your tongue clicking as you eyed a certain brunette captain serving his god-knows-how-many time of deadly top-spin serves.

⠀his eyes darted in your direction the moment your voice filled the echoey gym walls, your concerned tone ringing back and forth as his brown irises glared at you through narrow eyelids. a nervous lump grew in your throat, your stomach understanding the regret in the decision you made. oikawa was in one of his moods again; you should've known better than to barge in during his serving practice.

⠀still, even with your boyfriend acting the way he was - without saying a single word - there was no use in just leaving aoba johsai as quickly as you arrived. you came to check on tooru, and that was exactly what you were going to do. "it's late, tooru. we still have school tomorrow! you need your rest, please give yourself a break, it'll do more harm than good for you."

⠀"you say that every time, y/n." oikawa rolled his eyes as he bent down to grab a nearby volleyball rolling at his feet, palming it in his right hand and pointing it at the net. his focus was intent - you knew exactly what he was doing. for the past couple of weeks, the captain focused his practice on serving, locking in and applying all of his power to one spot on the court only. it was a feat not many could accomplish, but tooru was scarily coming close to mastering such a challenge. it required extra practice, of course, but certainly not to this extent.

⠀"as your girlfriend and as the manager of the aoba johsai volleyball team, i'm worried about you, you know?" taking a deep, brave breath, you stepped further into the gym, your footsteps creating more echoes for the two of you to listen to as you approached the sweat-covered third year, who had paused his serving practice to watch you come to him. his lips were pursed - and not in a way that sent your heart aflutter. oikawa hated when you disturbed him and tried talking him out of practicing; he'd give any reason and excuse to avoid it.

⠀"just one more serve, alright? then you can drag me out, whatever. i don't really want to listen to your self-health lectures right now." his free hand rested on his hips, the volleyball now resting between his waist and underneath his arm, interrupting you as your mouth opened to say something more. you had grown accustomed to tooru's mood swings as time went on; he didn't mean much by it, and you understood his position. his passion towards the sport was what originally captivated you towards the captain in the first place. you weren't exactly part of his fanclub, per se, but you sure as hell were close enough as a member. the only difference between you and the other girls was that you were lucky enough to snag the job as the volleyball club manager.

⠀"one serve, tooru." your arms crossed as you bit back his nasty glare with one of your own. most of the time, it worked. "push your luck and i'll call iwaizumi here to drag you out of the gym himself." you and hajime were always a tag team whenever it came to putting an iron fist down on tooru, though the stubborn male usually only listened to iwa, since he was the one who packed a nasty punch. oikawa did listen to you occasionally, just not as much as you would've liked.

⠀he rolled his eyes and turned away from you in place of a reply, holding the ball out in front of him. he was silent, and so were you. this was his routine for practice, all of his dirty talk could wait for the matches. you moved to his sports bag, sighing to yourself as you saw his cellphone plopped on top of his club jacket like a cherry on top. he must've had his ringer off, which would explain why he didn't pick up any of your calls. crossing your arms lightly over your chest, you watched with intent eyes as your boyfriend tossed his ball into the air, his gaze directly focused on nothing else but the flying object. he began his standard approach, your breath held as the gym exploded with the sound of his palm coming in contact with the volleyball. your eyes could hardly follow its path; you blinked once, and the ball was already bouncing against the wall.

⠀"damn, another fluke." you were about to compliment tooru's killer serve before you listened to him reprimand himself - you could tell this wasn't the first time he scolded himself for a mistake only he could identify. you noticed him walking to grab another ball, but you ran out to him, kicking his targeted ball out of reach before looking up at him and pressing a finger to his chest lightly.

⠀"enough, tooru. you promised me only one more serve. you've done that already, pack up so we can leave already. you have tomorrow to continue."

⠀"what the hell, y/n? i was just going to-"

⠀you knew him way too well to believe his next lie. "don't even try and say you were going to start picking up volleyballs. i see that look in your eyes, as clear as a cloudless day. you were intent on serving again, tooru; you can't lie to me. you-"

⠀"could you just stop already? who are you, my mother?" he clenched his jaw as he swatted your finger away from his chest, storming away from you as he bent down to pick up another ball, just right behind the boundary line. "i know you care, y/n. you make that very clear. but i can take care of myself, okay? just go home."

⠀"tooru-"

⠀"go, y/n."

⠀oh hell no you weren't.

⠀not without him leaving too.

⠀you turned the corner and pretended to leave seijoh, your face faking its exasperation. leaning against the wall right outside of the gym doors, you reached into your front pocket, your phone warm in your hand. unlocking the screen and searching through your contacts, you tapped the call button for the one person that had the ability to drag oikawa out of the gymnasium.

⠀"hello?"

⠀"iwa! thank goodness you answered."

⠀"it's so late, y/n. do you need help burying a body or something?"

⠀"i wish. i hope this isn't too much to ask, but could you please come to seijoh? tooru refuses to stop practicing, and he won't listen to me."

⠀"god, again?" a sigh could be heard from the other line. "yeah, i'll be right there. open the door for me, will you?"

⠀"thank you so much, iwa. i'll be at the door."

⠀you hung up the call, your eyes gazing at the doors as you waited for your friend to appear. you bit down on the side of your cheek and listened to every sound of contact tooru made with every serve. nothing could get him out of his moods - at least, not anything verbal. you'd need physical force to actually get him to step out of the gym doors. hence, why you needed hajime here.

⠀you heard a knock at the door a few minutes later, and you just about sprinted, a gracious smile stretched upon your lips as you allowed iwaizumi into the school. he looked like he rolled out of bed, his mouth in his natrual scowl. when his eyes laid upon you, his glare softened when he looked at your smile. "alright, where is he?"

⠀"in the gym, where he always is."

⠀"allow me." rolling up his own sleeves, the spiky-haired ace marched through the gym doors with you in line behind him, peering over him to look at oikawa's face the moment he was in the setter's line of vision.

⠀"oh, it's iwa. i'm not surprised, y/n is too stubborn to listen to me."

⠀"you're one to talk, shittykawa. don't you know what time it is?" taking out his phone and shaking it to make a point, he wasted no time in walking towards the brunette. you were nervous; usually oikawa would falter at the sight of hajime alone, but tonight seemed to be different. instead of giving in, he merely gave his new company a dirty glare. "go home already. it's late, we have school tomorrow, and the playoffs are soon. you're just going to tire yourself out, and i'll beat your ass if we don't face the other teams at our best." he then chuckled. "i've pulled you out of here myself multiple times, don't think i won't do it again."

⠀oikawa turned his icy stare at you, before glancing back at hajime with a bored yawn. "fine, fine," he retorted, throwing his calloused hands up in mock surrender, "you win, y/n. happy? i'm leaving the gym now, so don't be any more pushy than you have been tonight. it's giving me a headache."

⠀those words hurt more than you thought they would, tooru antagonizing the fact that you were only trying to care for him. your eyes rested at your feet, letting your hair rest in front of your face as you listened to tooru's volleyball shoes walk across the gym. you could hear iwa's as well; the two of them were picking up the volleyballs around the court, but your legs were in no position to help, not with how fragile they felt.

⠀you looked up on time to see oikawa slinging his bag over his shoulder, his nasty little glare plastered all over his face as he began to walk out of the gym. "goodnight," was the only thing he muttered as he brushed against your shoulder with his own on his way out. your head whirled around as you watched your boyfriend walk away without another word. you didn't have it in you to reply.

⠀"are you sure you two are in a relationship?" you jumped at iwa's voice, just noticing him standing beside you. "he didn't even bother asking to drive you home. some boyfriend he is."

⠀"ah, don't be like that, iwa." you forced yourself to laugh at the situation in a desperate attempt to make light of it, but the effort was futile, and utterly pathetic. "tooru's a good boyfriend! he just gets in his moods sometimes, but it happens to the best of us. nothing i can't handle. after a good night's rest, i'm sure he'll be back to normal in no time."

⠀"i hope you're right." he turned to face you, peering down at you before placing both of his hands in his pockets. "do you need a ride home? i know you live close by, but it's gotten colder now, and we can't have our manager catching a cold on us."

⠀this time a real laugh left your system, shrugging your shoulders as you looked to the outside, before back at hajime. he looked pretty serious, despite looking fatigued. "are you sure, iwa? i don't want to bother you with it."

⠀"nonsense." he shook his head. "since your boyfriend couldn't do his job in taking care of you, i'll just drive you home tonight. okay?"

⠀your heart dropped at his words.

⠀your boyfriend couldn't do his job in taking care of you.

⠀"... yeah, okay."

a / n : JFJSJFJFJF i wrote just a wee bit much , usually i’ll aim for around 1k , maybe a lil less on lazy days . anywho ! ty for reading , i hope you enjoyed part one 🥺

[kitkatisinspace]

𝗜𝗻𝗳𝗼 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝗲 𝗯𝗰 𝘄𝗵𝘆 𝗻𝗼𝘁

Hello stranger! Welcome to my blog and to my pinned post, in this case. You are probably reading this because you are stalking me or considering to follow me (if you are not you should consider it y'now?), so keep reading. Also if you see this on your dashboard this works better on the "web" blog I don't know how to say it. Like, when you go to the url.com that thing. So go, what are you waiting for?

I'll put a cut because this is infinite. I don't want you to be scrolling till death if you don't want to read. I recommend reading it though. Well, if you're already a mutual you don't have to.

𝓑𝓪𝓼𝓲𝓬 𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓪

First off, you can call me Kat! I have my name in the blog title but anyway, it could be useful.

Any pronouns. I'm agender and I don't have preferences for pronouns, so as you like, I don't really mind.

English is NOT my first language, expect a lot of mistakes. I usually check a couple of times what I post, but sometimes I'm too lazy to do it. This post is the best example (I'm not checking and I won't do it).

I get bored easily. That's it that's the point.

I don't know what else to put here, I'm a dumb bitch. What do people even put on these? I'm just improvising, sorry.

𝓐𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓶𝔂 𝓫𝓵𝓸𝓰

Surprise! I don't know how to draw, I don't know how to write and I don't know how to communicate with people! Have I mentioned that my English sucks? No? Well, there you have, then.

I can't be on two fandoms or like two shows at the same time (in this case), so don't expect me to post about anything else that isn't JoJo's. Also, expect tons of shitpost or me just talking about things that happen to me.

Every now and then I post something interesting, but not that much. My two most popular posts are an Araki drawing of Caesar and Joseph and a comment on TikTok about Stardust Crusaders and how fucking sad it is.

I used to talk a lot about DIO. Now I don't do it much, but just wait till I rewatch Stardust Crusaders. My gallery is filled with pics and videos of DIO, just you wait.

Caejose is my current brainrot, but I don't post much about it because I suck at headcanons. I think about old Caesar in Stardust Crusaders a l o t, but I just imagine specific scenarios, so that's why I don't post them (oh shit I just had a déja-vu).

I sometimes post about my dreams, when I'm not too embarrassed of them. I once dreamed with Abbachio poledancing, another one with Bucciarati and me in a jacuzzi and the last one I had I was hiding with Caesar in some secret place, I don't remember the context. My dreams are elite I don't care what y'all say.

I love tag and ask games, so feel free to tag me. I'm bored 80% of the day. If you like you can leave a random ask, I don't mind. Actually, I like random asks. Do it.

Also, I have like "sections" of my blog, like tags. "Kat draws" where I... post my sketches???, "Kat is mad" where I just post random stuff I'm mad at, "Kat kats"... I don't know what this is about it's me in my most pure state, that's why it's called "kats". I had to invent a verb.

If you see this tag ":]" on a post (most likely to be sth about DIO), hell is going to unleash on the rest of the tags. You can check it for yourself just by searching it on my profile.

Everyone is welcomed here and I want y'all to feel safe on my blog, unless...

𝓓𝓸 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓽...

(I have to fix this part but it's 1 am I'll do it tomorrow ig)

If you are or support proshippers, this is not your blog, I'm sorry. I'm not comfortable with you around here.

If you are TERF/rad-fem. I don't share your ideals, sorry. I'm not comfortable with you around here either.

If you are or support pedophiles, racist, homophobic, transphobic people. Don't be an asshole please, open your eyes.

I want this to be a safe place for everyone and you are a threat to my goal.

𝓕𝓾𝓻𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓲𝓷𝓯𝓸 𝓪𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓶𝓮

Well, you can skip this, this will be long.

I'm dumb af, you can notice in many of my posts but it's important to get this clear before starting.

I'm a minor. I don't mind adults interacting as long as they aren't weird and aren't mentioned in my do not interact. Thank you.

Sometimes I'm too friendly, but please do not misundertand my words. I'm aro and I don't want any relationship. Sorry if you're uncomfortable with how I talk, just tell me and I'll stop.

I think I'm funny but I'm not.

I don't know how to communicate with people. I don't even know how to do it in my mother language, I don't know what you are expecting from me. I'd love to talk to you if you want though, I just suck and I'll probably run out of things to tell after 2 minutes of chatting.

I vent sometimes, but just trivial things. I think I do not have any TW to put like, in the general blog. If it is one, I'll put it on the specific post.

I get obsessed over a specific series, anime or book and I stick with it for months. In that time, I can't watch any other series or anime that isn't the one that I'm obsessed with at the moment. Right now I'm on my JJBA obsession.

Also, I've just watched the anime parts. I would start reading the manga, but I'm waiting for the Stone Ocean anime release. I don't know if I could wait til then though.

My personality type is INTP in MBTI and 5w4 in Enneagram. I was True Neutral in Alignment but I did the test on January. I have to do the tests again. By the way I know this tests aren't 100% accurate but it's the unstoppable need to try to know myself that keeps me inspiring me to do them on repeat, don't mind me. Annnd because I'm too lazy to read all the personalities one by one.

I don't know if anyone wants my Discord, but here it is anyways:

sakima#2527

I usually forget things a lot so expect a bunch of "I was going to say/complain about something but I forgot what it was".

I had more things to put on here but I forgot so this section will be constantly updated.

𝓚𝓲𝓷𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝔀𝓱𝔂

Again, the unstoppable need to know myself. Here's my kinwheel:

If you don't know how this works, in the centre is my main kin, then medium or highkey kins and lastly, the lowkey ones.

𝓘𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓼

JJBA

Get my blood sucked by DI- Oh no I shouldn't say this publicly sorry

That's it that's the section.

Recommend books and songs thank you

𝓣𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓮 𝓸𝓯𝓯𝓮𝓻

I think that's it by now. Thank you for doing it this far! Now, can we be mutuals? Or besties maybe? I don't have much to offer, but here is my visual representation:

If you want to know about my JJBA opinions search the tag #jjba 30 day challenge. I left it on day 6 but I'll continue soon. I promise.

Well, now's definitely over. I hope you see me as a cool person because that's my goal in life. Also, I'm praying for this shit to work well on my blog, this ain't Amino.

Have a nice stay! Thank you for making it this far. And remember: you're cool, you're loved and you matter. Take care of yourself please. See ya.

Kat out ;)

PS: If you read this, you have to follow me, I don't make the rules /j

[woozi]

i agree how you described twt, sometimes everyone's just ready to fight it seems, i've genuinely had fun on both platforms at different times but now it's just too much on stan twt (no space for difference of opinion djsjdjj) it's good to know you're having fun as well :3 & omg i've seen few of my moots starting to give svt their attention after fallin flower dropped, everything abt it is <3333 the song, mv, choreo i love it.

hdjdjddkdjdj " virgos 😐 " also me in next breath "happy birthday mark :D i love you so much 🥺💕💗" any virgos reading this i really hope you enjoy your month to the fullest djjdjd <3. righttt?? you're correct abt mark's temper being very virgo djdjdkd.

your line screams hard-working people <3 jihoon, jaebeom, jeonghan the 3Js <3. isn't jaebeom also an infj? (i don't take mbtis seriously but at the same time it also makes me happy if it ends up matching someone i like djdjjd) chan & yugs 🥺 these two imo have the sweetest personality, like the one which makes you feel welcomed & they also have the cutest laugh 🥺.

i love jus2 <3 focus on me is one of my favorite kpop mvs of all time & also drunk on you??? i love this song so much, very sexy of them. the vibes, style and everything w/ their album, i want more songs like that. and for when i am feeling melancholy i need more songs like jjp's verse 2 😭💔 but i am also okay if they don't want to go back to these units bcoz everything so far they've been giving is just as great <33 ( maybe in future we'll get blessed w/ features 🥺)

honestly g7 as grp and individually have won me over with their music style, even if i don't like full album ik there will be 3-4 songs which will be exactly what i like to listen to, all of the music they've released individually i've liked it so much. there is this song of youngjae's, titled "i'm all ears" i had no idea of its existence until it popped up in my spotify i'm so glad it did, it's been in my playlist ever since. there was also a time when i was obsessed with jackson's 'on the rocks' djdjdk.

aww <3 the live performance video of 1° has mark as thumbnail so for long time i used to associate this song with him jdjddk. i think the only j*pe thing i'd miss is got7 studio live sessions 🥺. RIGHTJDKSKS aju nice's mv is very cute djjddk I love it, in reality its reverse tho, i see them and boom! 💖💛💗🤍💕💙

it was the year they won first bb*as award so that gave them the exposure, and no i don't follow them anymore. mixed feelings abt them, very negative feelings abt f*ndom fjdjdjd. i do miss what it used to feel like liking them sometimes. at that time i never thought i'll willingly drop them from my interest (i've stanned zayn since 2012 first him as grp member then solo. sometimes thinking abt it gives me a whiplash hddjks it's been 9 years, really thought it would be same with them too but it didn't happen)

i've had falling in love by yugs and in to you by jaebs on loop for days djdkdk i really love these two songs and also air by bammie <3 (i'm slow jams kinda person djdjdk :3)

(bam released the most fun album & title this year idc abt others, ribbon is one of the soty) also special mention of look so fine & running through the rain. yes! you do make sense they feel organic & very them.

exactly 😭 it's more believable when they drop stuff out of nowhere like encore 😭😭. the way youngjae posted his letter on twt too ddjjdkssk the announcement & release of encore is such a 'you just had to be there' situation the excitement, nervousness, confusion and everything 😭 sometimes i can't with them. also is the bibi with mark on ost, the same one you mentioned in last ask? the ost is really good <3, it must've been fun to see it happen (if its same bibi).

making a whole ass playlist just for me???? 😭😭😭🥺💗 yza you're so sweet nooooo 💖

and don't worry abt replying late jdjdkdjd i mean it, sometimes my friends text me after weeks and i'm am the same. it's really okay <3. i hope this week is treating you kindly, take care yza - 🪂

p.s ( just saw last post djjej) - it was me who manifested more bunny dino <3 manifesting even more <33

i was on stan twt during my younger years too and it was v fun and memorable to me ngl <3 idk what happened though.. it's evolved to be.. Something Else.. i still see a lot of good people there though 😭 and now that i'm in my Hag Era... idk it's just too fast for me now 😭 it's still my go-to place for updates though nothing can top twitter on that dept

and ms fallin flower.... i feel like everyone was blown away by it (based off of what i see carats when talk about it) and rightly so!! she SERVED. the looks too oh my god. it's another factor i look forward to and enjoy so much when i watch their performances!!

u know what? virgos 😐 indeed KJJKDFJKFDJKFDKJ i want to slander virgos today because it's their season and no one slanders them that often so <3 ABOUT MARK'S VIRGO TEMPER THOUGH... i know i've said i enjoy seeing it sm but whenever i think abt it i cant help but say that.. I Love His Temper <3 he doesn't get pissed off in a scary and douchebag-y way it seems so... contained?? IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT he punched an a/c though so that might not be the perfect word to describe him lmaoo <3

THE J TRINITY HFDJFJDJHDF BESTIE UR MIND IS SO!!!!!!!!!!! honestly... maybe it's the acts of service for me <3 JKDFKJFDKJFJKD i think this is just my eldest sister and savior syndrome speaking though kfjkdkjf ALSO OH MY GOD THE WAY U NOTICE THESE THINGS <3 THAT'S SO SEXIE OF U!!! and yes he used to be an infj!! there was an interview that's more recent wherein he mentioned that he's now an enfj though but i cant rmb which interview it's from :/ ALSO MOOD FKJJKGJGKF i dont believe in mbtis too but im just... a little obsessed w it for the fun of it all <3 and the way u described them </3 what if i tear up a little </3 I LOVE CHAN'S LAUGH SO MUCH BUT IM SO SOS O GLAD U BROUGHT UP YUGYEOM'S LAUGH??????????? IT'S NOT TALKED ABT ENOUGH LIKE...... HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! one of my bird moots said he sounded like a schoolboy in choir 😭😭😭😭😭😭

GOD UR TASTE!!!!!!! what if i start falling in l*ve a little :/ what then :/ focus on me was ahead of it's time and people fucking slept on THEM i cannot fucking believe this. this has to be some kind of sick joke 😭 ALSO HAVE U SEEN THE CHOREO FOR SENSES!!!!!!1 INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!! holy fuck!!!!!! sorry for the expletives but like.... holy SHIT they did THAT!!!!!!!! ALSO UR SO RIGHT </3 jjp verse 3 when... ALSO did u know i let go of the jjprojects url... thats the worst mistake of my life KDKJDSKJDSJK also agree wholeheartedly <3 i think they're all trying to find their footing this time around as soloists and im so proud of them for that!! i'll stand by my jus2 agenda though bc they're almost in the same company so maybe.. i might have hope left 😭

SO TRUE BESTIE!!! the same principle goes w svt for me as well <3 got7's such a flavorful group musically like... all of them have the capacity to go solo and they're still considered flops.. waht the fuck <3 ALSO OMG FJDKJFKFJD YOU'VE HEARD The Song!!!!!!!! maybe he'll be releasing something along those lines <3 esp now that he's supposedly coming w an album KJSJKDJSK on a similar note.. do u also listen to jamie (the other artist on the song) <3 NOO SHUT UP THIS CANNOT BE FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i was obsessed w on the rocks too 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT WAS MY FAVORITE ON THE MIRRORS ALBUM HELLO??????????????????????????? im proposing to u rn

ok now i have to watch all the live vids again JKDSJKSJDKDSKJ ik keep saying 'ur so right', 'i agree', and 'so true bestie' but im gonna have to say this again bc i LOVE LOVE LOVE live sessions sm no matter the artist. i also just am a little partial to live bands in performances like that in general so JDJKKDSJDS

the way you're saying these cute things abt the svteenies.. </3 giving me heartache!!! i'd bully them though i can't coddle them anymore <3

not the fandom JKFDKJFDKJFDKJFKJF ok but i think it's mostly their younger fans tbh. it wasn't this bad before.. i also really liked bts during their debut days. their songs were really good!! i kind of lost interest though and couldn't really get into them although their songs slapped lol. my irls are still into them though so i still hear about them. 9 YEARS............................... wait oh my god it HAS BEEN a little over a decade since 1d was The Thing huh 😭 now i feel kinda old lmao. and i totally get that feeling </3 it really do be like that sometimes JKFDJKJKFD

you really ARE keeping up w the sevens oh my god how are you doing it!!!!!!!!!!! it's like getting svt content now at this point but more complicated bc u need to get the updates from different sources JDKJSDKJJSKD love ur song choices too <3

ALSO FULLY RELATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when i saw bam's teasers... the aes was my cup of tea and THE HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't fucking get it out of my mind it's objectively one of the best things i've seen from kpop in 2021. i'm super impressed <3 love how abyss really supported bambam on this. they really went all in for him!!

I KNOW GKJDFJDK I GOT SUPER ???????/// DURING THE TIME EVERYONE THOUGHT THEY WERE DISBANDING LMAOOOO they pulled a move that's so unheard of though no one really expected That. i respect jaebeom so much for handling all the paperwork and shit behind the scenes it must've been HELL!! ALSO IT MEANT I CRIED FOR NOTHING THEN 😭😭😭 AND YES OH MY GOD IT'S THE SAME BIBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE SHOCK I HAD WHEN I SAW THE LIST????????????????????????? thought i was gonna black out like,,, mark,,, AND BIBI??????????????? she's fucking phenomenal how is she just a YEAR older than me.. INSANE!!! ... and i also thought jackson was gonna have an ost for this movie.. idk why it wasn't released though i didnt look into it :/

i had a rough few days so i'm not yet finished with the playlist (my laptop's Dead i am still trying to revive her and uni's starting soon 😭) but for the mean time, here's another one that some people from caratblr previously asked for JDSJKSDJ these are mostly english songs though its not my k-playlist KJDSKJSDJK

i do hope this week gets better!!! and i hope that you'll have a fun one too <3 thank u for being so patient w me 🥺 i just get so many messages and find the need to recharge FDKJDFJK

ALSO I FELT LIKE IT WAS U!!!!!! OH MY GOD, i even searched my blog for the word manifest but for some reason your ask didn't come up in the search so i didnt mention u in the tags so i wont misattribute if it ends up not being u 😭 thank u for manifesting this chan for me he's my little... hop hop now ig... 😭

[typicalhippiegirl]

Let's talk about something.

First off, I'm not putting this messed up, peely, gross looking tattoo up for anyone to judge (I'm not happy with it either). I'm putting this out there to help others learn from my mistakes & hopefully prevent them from going thru what I've been dealing with.

There's a tattoo expo coming to town with featured artists from out of town. I find one thru IG whose work looks clean & I like her style so I DM her about setting an appt. Shes got time this weekend yay! no waiting for the expo. -Do you see the mistakes I made already? It's so obvious to me now😓

Saturday's here, I head to the shop (for the first time) for the appointment & the moment I walk in it's like Uh, wtf? Half the shop is taped off & in the middle of a remodel (no dust or active working, just shit all moved around). I brush it off, theyre getting things ready for an expo right? They need people tattooing there, not playing pool so ya, no wonder it's a bit messy.

Next she shows me the stencil and its fuckin huge. Like I specifically said between 6-8 inches max bc it's going on my forearm & i'm not Stretch Armstrong. Shes like Oh I kept it between 8 & 10. Well ya didn't fuckin listen bc what woman has arms that long? So it's resized & idk what we were casually talking about but she def rolled her eyes at me. Look man, I'm a pretty easy going person and depending on the situation I may take a slight without saying shit. Also like low self confidence helps with that right? So anyway, at the point I should have been like Alright dude, we're not really clickin & I'm not feelin this anymore & walked TF out. I didnt. Like an idiot. I'm not gonna lie, part of it was losing put on the deposit the other part was just me telling myself it would be fine despite in my heart of hearts I knew it wasn't.

So we start. Yo, she's a Fuckin. Bitch. I wanted a theme right, this chick is supposed to be a Texas pinup, I wanted certain colors in her clothes. I asked "What colors are we thinking for her?" She actually scoffed and says "These ones" while motioning at her cups. Wow. Ok, well, fuck I don't want to ask her anything anymore so I shutup & go with it.

This shit HURTS. I'm not a pussy when it comes to pain. I have several tattoos, including fingers, toes and a whale that was particularly painful because it goes directly over my very bony shin. I've been cut, I've had a baby without drugs. Mags remind me of getting a razor cut and I find pleasure in the feeling. I can tolerate some pain and this shit sucked. Yo, at the end she switched down to a single needle and that was KILLER. I felt like I was being carved into (which, if you'd ever seen my back you'd know, I know the feeling).

Alright so finally we're finished & I roll into the next day. I'm a bit worried about the appearance and not just bc she looks like she broke her leg. It looks wet. I continue my aftercare as normal: antibac soap & aquaphor. Day 2 I'm researching infections bc it's super painful, red but mostly it's wet. I'm afraid of infection also bc this chick had the trash can right next to the station. I mean Right. Fuckin. Next to it. To the point that the trashcan lid fell onto the pad where my arm is. I want to ask her to move it but she's in such a bad mood I think it'll just make things worse & she'll be even rougher. By day 3 I've tried antibac goo & it seems to make my skin bubble where its been applied so I quickly quit using that. My arm hurts so badly at this point I cant put it down without getting shooting pains up my arm. I let it dry out so things are crusty but at least I don't find them medically disturbing. Regardless, I spend a lot of this day crying. Day 4 I'm still researching infection and come across overworked tattoos, scars & "hamburgering" My heart pretty much drops bc this is it, this is what's going on. What's even more fucked up is that I find this on forums for people learning to tattoo. Like apprentice's first few tattoos having this problem. Rookie shit, ya hear?😑

The pictures are from day 5. You can see splitting along the black lines, there's holes in the sun & near her belt. Oh and that's a thing. The hole is the sun is bc somehow a drop of green got in there so she went over it and over it and over it again with more red. Can you imagine my frustration at that point?

So look, I got this done Saturday, here it is Friday. My skin is very shiny and puckery where the peeling has come off. The scabs are thick af, I've only been moisturizing the places safe to so as of today almost everything but the cactus. Did I mention my arm still really hurts? I can't straighten it, there's pains that shoot out from the center, and why why why is my bicep sore?! I'm really worried about how the cactus is going to turn out. My skin looks bumpy between the cracks of scab. I think she used a crappy cheap green. I'm really left wondering about her experience as a tattoo artist. I'm just saying: My first tattoo was done by a scratcher in a dirty apartment bedroom. He did such a shitty job that I took the machine from him & finished it myself. Might I mention I was 16 and completely coked out of my mind? Also, I didn't hamburger myself and there was no scarring over that disaster of a tattoo (which thankfully no longer exists thanks to the aforementioned painful whale)

This whole thing has fuckin sucked. I don't want anybody else dealing with this. Let me outline some things I should have done differently so if you find yourself in the same situation you can make better decisions than I did.

1. If you're looking on IG for an artist make sure they also post healed pics not just fresh ones.

2. If you're not vibing with your artist it's ok so call it off. Look, a 60$ deposit aint shit to lose in the grand scheme of things, can you get a cover up for 60$? How about bad work or a bad experience lasered off? You can't get those deals, oh who knew? Sometimes losing money is saving it.

3. Don't get shit from travelling artists. Maybe they woke up a 3am & drove 8 hours & now they don't give a shit about anything but going home.

4. If the shop doesn't look great, walk out. Again, whats 60$ compared to your health and happiness?

This is a long post & it's not something I usually post about (lol who am I kidding? Personal tragedies are kinda my thing). It's embarrassing. I'm embarrassed how she came out, I'm embarrassed I didn't speak up, I'm embarrassed I didn't just go to the person I knew could give me a good tattoo. It wasn't even about money, I didn't get a deal on this pinup mess. All I can do is move on. Thank goodness this wasn't my first piece or I may have been totally turned off from getting anymore ink. Now all I can do is continue my aftercare, hope for the best and when the time comes I'll go visit Vinny at American Tradition and get something else on the backside of my arm to distract from this mess.

Much love my inked up friends❤

Hey and if this speaks to you like you've been in this situation or are currently in it, feel free to DM me.

[polyamorouspunk]

(I feel like I had an emoji for my anons but for the life of me I can't remember them and scrolling/searching your blog turned up nothing so I'm just gonna assume it was 🌠?? Since that's in my recent emojis.)

Anyways confession time cuz I need to get this off my chest. I've been having a lot of bpd fits as of late and it's been making my relationships difficult, or rather one of my relationships since my bpd decided to turn one of my partners into a fave person.

He's not the best at understanding mental health, he hardly understands anxiety and depression and you'd think those are the easiest to understand since they're so common. He tries to still be there for people even though he just doesn't get it, but it makes it really hard for me to explain my bpd attacks that end up with me making stupid mistakes.

I've certainly gotten better with my bpd, but I still lash out sometimes, I still accuse and gaslight without even realizing it. It takes a couple seconds after I've said the stupid thing for me to realize what I did, and I try really hard to apologize and make up for it and be better in the future, but I wish it was easier to explain that God I don't do this on purpose.

Cuz Ig if you don't deal with intrusive thoughts and panic attacks and crap like that in any capacity you just can't see how that's done on accident. He asked if I found it fun to do that stuff and I just broke, like... No, I don't. I really truly don't. I wish I was able to handle these feelings more effectively and not hurt him. He's never done anything wrong, just bc he doesn't understand what my brain is like to have doesn't mean he's treating me like shit.

...honestly, the fact that he's still with me, still planning on living with me, still loving me, still actively wanting me around proves that he still cares deeply for me even though I can't control my anger sometimes.

I just wish my bpd, my trauma, didn't affect our relationship so much. I'm grateful for his patience with me but God damn I wish I was less volatile.

Someday I'll get therapy. I want it really bad. This country sucks with making it easy to get but I want it someday.

I hope your life is going well btw Punk, your blog makes me really happy in the punkiest polyamorousiest way. Thanks for running it and talking with us followers, you're genuinely a really cool guy -🌠

GRAPHIC TW

Oh my god anon I’m so sorry to hear that. I’ve been open about my struggles with what I now know as bpd in the past. I totally get the “I just acted that way and I couldn’t control it”. I reached the point of being physically abusive to my partners and it was awful. Sometimes it got so bad I would just dissociate and feel like I was trapped inside myself unable to control my reactions.

My bpd has been acting up again since the little accident I got into yesterday, feeling like “I made a mistake so obviously I need to go home and kill myself” (not really but like simple mistake = suicidal ideation over them).

Someone once asked me how my bpd worked and I was like I over react and feel way too much at everything. Yesterday as I was going through all of this my brain was like “best way to describe to someone how my bpd works? I got lost once and I had suicidal ideation over it for 2 months after.”

I just had some bad dreams of being super jealous and being hurt and blah blah blah and i can feel my chest hurting and my brain is just telling me all the bad things you know? And my coping mechanism mentally is literally just picturing graphic self harm, which I’ve been on a kick of since my accident because of all the feelings.

Like god having bpd is so bizarre how do I explain to someone I gently rear ended someone by mistake yesterday and I’m dealing with it by imagining torturing myself and self mutilation.

I’m feeling that “I want to lash out because I’m hurting so much”, the “I wanna start shit because I don’t feel well”, the guilt-tripping, the manipulation, all of it. It’s so fucking hard knowing you’re a shitty fucking person who hurts people, and then when they stick around? And they still want to be with you? Sometimes you wish they would just leave because that’s what you deserve: if you’re going to hurt people you deserve to be alone and miserable and you deserve the pain. And when they stay you just feel so, so guilty. Screaming crying why am I such an awful person why can’t I just be normal why can’t I just love someone without ruining it. Yeah I feel that anon I’m so sorry.