#i'll have to reblog this later when people are actually awake

[lizard-shifter-noms]

Still Subject To Change Chapter 9

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Chapter 9! only one more to go (aka the epilogue)

this chapter does have vore in it

things are wrapping up slowly, and Donovan is the one with common sense in this, somehow.

have fun reading!

and as always reblogs are appreciated!

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I had no idea how long I actually spent sleeping on that rock,  but it was strangely nice to just laze about for once.

That wasn't something I got to do often,  especially since I used to sleep on the street which was very dangerous, 

specifically for me as a Fae bastard.

so I enjoyed it as much as I could.

At least until someone shook me awake.

At first I tried to ignore it and curled a bit more around the redheaded form right next to me who was also still fast asleep.

Whoever it was that had disturbed my slumber tried again, this time even speaking in a voice that was somewhat familiar.

“Donovan? Come on get up, when i said there would be a stupid celebration for our admittedly weird victory i meant it”

What? Oh right, so the one waking me up right now was Norrin.

I lifted my head and blearily looked at him,  blinking a few times against the light. 

It was quite some time later judging by the stand of the sun.

And the fact that my pouch wasn't numb anymore,  and just as Oakley had promised all the pain was gone, what a relief.

“What? Oh do you mean right now? Wait where?”

He laughed a little at that,  the skin around his eyes creasing the tiniest bit.

“Not yet but in about half an hour,  i thought id tell you beforehand in case you wanted to do something first and the celebration itself is in the castle, the main hall to be exact”

Ah, so I still had some time, good to know.

But I couldn't stand up right now as Robin was still using my arm as a pillow.

He looked so incredibly small while he slept and I did not have the heart to wake him right now.

He fit in perfectly in the crook of my arm and I didn't dare move more than my head.

Maybe he'd wake up in a few minutes and then we could go.

I did wonder what that celebration would all entail.

Well there probably would be food and music as that was pretty much a standard for such things.

Norrin had followed my gaze to where the little ginger was sleeping and peered over my arm. 

He had to stand on his tiptoes to do that, 

and looked at the peacefully sleeping ginger.

“Ah so that's where he is, and i was running around the castle like a headless chicken looking for both of you”

He shook his head at that and I imagined it must have been pretty funny to see the headguard run around aimlessly in search of two people that had been in the same spot for quite some time.

“Mhm, gimme a few minutes, well come in a bit to the big entrance door”

At least I knew where that was,  and I strongly suspected that the main hall was right behind the throne through the two doors I had seen the last time I was there.

The older man nodded.

“Sure, i'll be waiting there, but tell me if you don't want to attend or i'll be standing there for nothing”

“Yeah, I'll let you know,  but please make sure nobody stabs me when I appear in human form?”

I would prefer to stay in one piece and not end up injured, again.

He nodded once again in affirmation,  eyes flicking to my ears for a second.

“Right, pointy ears,  don't worry i'll let all of the guards know not to touch you”

“Thank you, now gimme fifteen or so minutes to wake Robin”

He nodded and then waved and left towards the castle where I could see the dull walls reflecting the sunlight and giving it a more orange tint.

Huh, it was already close to sunset, I bet that was pretty from up here.

Well, time to wake Robin,  as much as i would like to let him sleep we had to get up sometime.

I gently nudged him with my free hand, paw? Whatever,  but he just curled up even more and mumbled sleepily.

So I tried again, this time telling him softly to wake up.

“Robin? We gotta get up,  come on we are invited to some celebration over the ice mage”

There still wasn't much reaction other than some more mumbling.

Oh I had a good idea what would get him to get up.

“Don't you wanna try the Royal food? And imagine the luxurious chairs”

That got his attention.

“Whu? Oh, wait, you mean they are throwing a party? 

In the castle? I wanna see that!”

He sprung up like an excited dog and almost hit the underside of my face.

And now he was up, like predicted, well time to go then.

I wondered if I had to bring anything or if there was a dress code but Norrin Mentioned neither so it was probably fine.

Besides, he was waiting in front of the door,  if we forgot anything he'd surely tell us.

Since Robin was awake now I could also finally stand up.

Shaking the tiredness of and stretching like a cat,  much to the ginger's amusement, I turned to look towards the castle.

“Norrin said he'd wait for us at the big entrance door,  Are you okay to go or is there anything you wanna do first?”

The redhead shook his head.

“No, I'm good, let's go! I wanna see what a castle party looks like!”

He was excitedly jumping up and down and I had to admit that I was curious about that too.

“Well then let's not waste anymore time”

With those words I bent down a  little and Robin immediately jumped to climb on my back.

“How fancy do you think it's gonna be? 

You think they have golden plates and cups?”

“I'm pretty sure that's a bit too expensive,  even for the castle unless there are not a lot of people,  then again i don't actually know how much is in the treasure chambers”

Falling into a steady trott towards the castle it wouldn't take longer than about two minutes to reach the big entrance door.

“Maybe, do you think there's going to be exotic food? 

I'm pretty sure they have some of the most expensive wine too! 

But I'm not gonna drink that, last time I drank alcohol it made me puke,  Have you ever drank alcohol?”

If I had drank alcohol?

Well, sometimes that was all i could get from sneaking around pubs when there was no clean drinking water,  I wasn't keen on getting dysentery after all so alcohol was actually the safer option sometimes.

Alcohol was used as a disinfectant too so sometimes I HAD to get it.

Even if it was causing headaches later and made me act weirdly,  I'd better not drink anything alcoholic today since I now had the bracelet and who knew what I'd end up doing should I drink to actually get drunk for once.

“I have, when there was no clean drinking water,  and I agree it's kinda awful,  also aren't you too young to drink alcohol anyway? Did someone sneak some or did they give you some at the guard school?”

A valid question considering he was only around sixteen.

“Hm? Yeah they did, I think it was wine? 

But it tasted awful so i'm not gonna drink that ever again”

To be honest I had no idea what wine even tasted like, aside from that it was made out of grapes and dark red. 

Since beer was cheaper it was easier to steal that from the pubs, and it had less alcohol in it than wine too so I had never been absolutely drunk.

“Fair, if it made you throw up you probably shouldn't drink it anyway”

I'd believe Robins account for how wine tasted and spare myself the trouble of getting sick from it like he did.

While we talked we had gotten to the castle and I could see that some of the windows were already illuminated.

Seemed like we were just in time, going around a flower bed that was planted right next to the wall to avoid stepping on them.

I saw that the big door had been propped open and was nicely illuminated from chandeliers and whatnot whitin and as Promised Norrin was waiting in front of the door.

He had cleaned his armor from mud and polished the gold accents so they shined in the light.

Well, I better shift down to human form so I could actually use the smaller doors and sit in a chair, as well as everything normal sized too.

There really wasn't anything for big folk,  Why should there be? This was a human place after all.

But first Robin had to get off so he wouldn't fall from my back when i shifting into a way smaller form.

“Hey Robin? Do you mind getting off of me? 

I need to go back to human form so i can use doors and stuff”

He leaned forward a bit and nodded.

“Sure! Oh if it has tables I wanna sit next to you and Arthur and Rikaad!”

I bent down and he slid off on the side,  he was getting good at this i noted.

“I'm sure you can sit at least next to one of us,  and if not maybe there's someone we can ask for more chairs”

He just grinned while I twisted the gem on the bracelet that let me turn back into the smaller two legged form I was used to.

“So, ready to go?”

He nodded with a big grin on his face and zipped past me to chatter at Norrin.

The poor Guard looked very surprised for a second before he composed himself again.

I went after him as fast as I could without running,  I was not keen on getting stabbed in the time it took me to walk the twenty or so meters to get to them.

Getting closer to the castle I could already hear music,  as well as some people jowling in joy.

Must have started the party already.

Whatever the case,  I decided to head inside and see if I could find Arthur or Rikaad.

It was quite possible that Rikaad was still sitting in front of the paperwork after all.

He was a very diligent man and seemed to rarely tire,  he might just be a workaholic though.

I hoped that at least he'd take a little break, if only for a bit.

Coming up to the big front door and greeting Norrin he led us inside.

“Ah glad you decided to show up!

But i have to say that your human form takes my brain a second to recognize as it is used to the green form”

Right, he'd only seen me once in this form and that only for a short time.

“I guess so, don't worry I'm sure you'll get used to seeing me in my various forms, for now let's see if they have any good food!”

Norrin laughed a bit at that and led us around the,  overly expensive looking, Throne itself to one of the two doors behind it where a big hall was that fit a really big and long table and a few chandeliers that illuminated everything.

It was actually pretty, especially with all the decor around,  but to be honest the thing that enticed me most was the food.

It was scattered all over the ridiculously long table and looked absolutely delicious.

Sure I didn't have to eat thanks to the bracelet but I doubted that it would hinder my ability to taste things.

And there was an overabundance of expensive food around that i really wanted to try since i had never gotten the chance to do so in the past.

I had never even seen some of these, 

like what was this weird long yellow fruit?

I decided to try it and found that it didn't taste bad at all,  aside from the skin which had a tough texture.

Better peel it next time, which was surprisingly easy since I could just rip strips off of it and eat the inside.

I wondered what else there was and went around the table picking random stuff to test out.

All the while Robin followed me and stuffed his face with whatever he could reach, he seemed especially happy to stuff his face with something that looked like miniature cakes.

Trying one too I could see why he liked them,  They were very sweet and tasted of honey melon.

Then I saw something I recognized, Cinnamon bread,  oh I HAD to have that.

That was one of the few things I could rarely get while on the street and I even remembered my mother baking these once.

Also cinnamon was tasty as long as it wasn't just the powder,  the powder was just dry as fuck and could cause a coughing fit.

I learned that the hard way.

Regardless, these ones looked really good,  they were even still steaming with warmth like they had just come from the oven, so I picked one up and sunk my teeth in.

Yep, just as good as I remembered, if not better as the castle probably had higher quality flour and better ingredients overall.

I really hoped i wouldn't get nauseous,  After spending weeks eating nothing due to the bracelet it might very well be that I would have an upset stomach later from stuffing myself with whatever was on this bigass table.

That was a problem for future me i decided.

“Donovan!”

I looked around to the person that had called my name with half a bread in my mouth to see a familiar blonde framed face.

“Arthur! Hey, look at this, they have so much food! 

I don't think they are gonna eat most of it, at least not in one day”

I shoved the rest of the bread into my mouth and grabbed a new one.

He looked at the table and then back at me.

“Yeah maybe, however i think you should try using cutlery saves you the hassle of having sweets stick to your fingers and face”

“Mhm?”

With a mouth full of bread I couldn't answer but looking at my fingers I saw what he meant.

They were stained from the various treats I had tried and I probably should not shake anyone's hand today.

The main culprit was probably the mini cakes.

Eh i could wash that, if i found where that was.

Looking around a bit for anything that I could use until Arthur tipped at my shoulder and pointed to a wall behind me.

“There's a thing for washing hands,  it's just a fancy bucket really but who cares”

“Ah, thanks, hey have you seen Rikaad anywhere? 

I mean he's king now so surely he's around, right?”

He nodded.

“Yeah I saw him like five minutes ago, he was talking to the cook, complimenting him i think. 

I have no idea where he is right now though,  and I assume Robin is here also?”

Ah so Rikaad WAS here, i’d say hello after washing my hands,  and then i could tell him that Oakley had helped me and that the stab wounds were gone.

As for Robin I pointed Arthur to where I last saw him, which was one table over and taste testing everything he could reach.

He went over to look at what the Ginger was doing while I went to wash the sticky sweets off my fingers.

Weaving between some other people that either talked or danced to the rather obnoxious music, I finally found what Arthur had pointed at.

Looking at the basin thing I saw that Arthur was right,  it did just look like a fancy bucket.

Whatever,  as long as it stopped my fingers from being sticky I didn't care.

Sticking my hands in the water I scrubbed my hands together to get all of the stuff off.

Only after that did I realize that there was literally nothing to dry my hands with, did someone steal the towel? Or was there just no towel?

Maybe I could unsuspiciously dry them off at one of the curtains?

Before I could move to do so another familiar bearded face appeared, holding out a piece of cloth I was very sure he took from one of the tables.

“Barsen! What are you doing here?”

He smiled and handed me the cloth which I gratefully accepted.

“I was responsible for putting flowers up as decoration,  aside from that nobody in the castle cares where i go or not,  i could sit on the throne and nobody would blink at it”

Huh, that was, something, but I didn't doubt him.

He could probably waltz into any room of the castle and nobody would deem him a threat.

Because he wasn't one,  He was just the gardener and tended to all plants here, including the ones inside the castle even if those were just potted flowers and the like.

“Say how do you like the celebration party? 

They throw one any chance they get so after a while its just boring”

He was probably right, being at a party was fun but at some point it was enough, also i was pretty sure the music had gotten even louder.

Looking over I was pretty sure some of the musicians were slightly inebriated.

“Well i liked the long yellow fruit”

It had been tasty, and cinnamon bread was something I already knew.

“The Banana?”

That surely wasn't its name, was it?

“That's what it's called? Really?”

“Really, they grow on palm trees in bundles like grapes”

I just stared at him,  I didn't think he was making stuff up as he took his job seriously but at the same time the yellow fruit got more ridiculous by the minute.

Well he'd know better than me, I was no expert on plants.

But if they did grow on palm trees it was no wonder I had never seen one before, palm trees were more tropical plants as far as i knew.

Why was I thinking about the semantics of a damn plant anyway?

Man, my brain felt slightly foggy.

Maybe one of the many treats I ate contained some alcohol after all.

Also it was loud as fuck in here and stupidly warm too.

I'd get some fresh air after I found Rikaad.

Where was he anyway?

“Hey, have you seen Rikaad? Uh i mean the new King, I wanted to talk to him”

He was probably still guilty about the stabbing thing so I wanted to let him know that Oakley fixed it.

“Hmm, well i saw him last in the corner with the big punch bowl,  i'm not entirely sure how coherent you'll meet him though”

Eh, good enough,  and knowing him he wouldn't have had too many drinks.

“Really? Thank you! I'll head over then, see you around”

He waved and went back to, well whatever he was doing before.

So Rikaad was in one of the corners that had a big bowl.

There were only four corners so that technically shouldt take that long.

And one of the corners was occupied by the musicians that somehow managed to get even louder to cover the happy and drunk jowling of some of the guests.

So that left three other corners to check.

And only two of them contained tables,  so I only had to go through half the room.

Walking to the corner that was closest meant I wouldn't have to walk through much of a crowd, a crowd that had gotten increasingly drunk over the course of the late evening.

Not the most pleasant company to be honest, but I bore it and did my best to avoid any sort of smalltalk from the inebriated patrons.

Weaving through the people was at least something I was already familiar with from my time on the street so I managed to not bump into anyone till I reached the corner.

No Rikaad here, hmm, but there was a plate of more cinnamon bread.

Yoinking one I went back to weaving through the crowd to get to the other corner while munching on the tasty bread. 

hopefully Rikaad was still there and hadn't left for some other table.

Oh wait, there he was, talking to Norrin who was pouring himself some of the punch with a ladle that looked way too fancy for my tastes.

Norrin just waved and gave a thumbs up as he saw me and I noticed that his face was slightly flushed pink,  he'd had some of the punch for sure.

Whatever, it surely wasn't bad if he still managed to hold a conversation.

Rikaad shoved his cup away,  a cup that I was pretty sure contained alcohol that he didn't want to drink judging by the face he'd made when he looked at it.

“Hello Donovan, how do you like the music?”

Back to smalltalk huh, not exactly my favorite part of a conversation.

Well, Norrin was here and until he left neither of us could talk about what we actually wanted.

“I think it's Loud, like a bit too much so,  but i'm gonna go outside later anyway”

The obnoxious music certainly wasn't helping my brain defog and some fresh air would be nice.

At least the musicians could actually play the instruments,  and where some of the better ones I'd heard.

Thankfully Norrin decided to leave at that moment.

“Maybe I can ask them to tune it down? I'll be back in a bit”

He went up to the opposite corner to try and talk to the musicians.

I immediately turned back to Rikaad after making sure nobody else was within earshot.

“Uhh, well, about the stabbing thing; 

Oakley managed to help me so it's all good now, he used some magic paste or whatever it was so the stitches are gone too”

I didn't tell him that Oakley had to rip them out, he didn't need to know and besides it was good now, no pain no wound just like before.

Beides, hearing that what he had done in an effort to help me turned out to be dangerous just because he used the wrong items wouldn't help.

Even if it had hurt as hell when they got ripped out.

I could see him slightly untense at the information and I hoped he would stop feeling so guilty about it.

“So you are okay now? No lasting damage?”

I nodded my head at his questions.

“No, I'm good, don't worry, 

I just wanted to tell you that I'm fine now so you can stop dwelling on it.

Now you have fun at this party,  i'm going outside for some fresh air, Its way too loud in here and the temperature is not helping my brain to stay focused and i wanna leave before i do something dumb or embarrasing”

“Your face does look a bit pink,  just make sure you don't fall of the cliff and avoid any Guards you don't know,  i'm not sure if everyone has gotten the information yet that you are a friend”

I nodded at him, I had planned to go back into the Ardua form and sleep on the rock Barsen showed us anyway,  Since the shed was still a bit dusty and I had no idea how to navigate the castle, nevermind that I had no idea which rooms were occupied and which ones were free.

As for falling off the cliff, I wasn't THAT stupid and the atmosphere here was still somewhat tolerable for me,  It literally was just a tiny bit too warm and loud that put a slight fog over my brain.

“I'm not that feeling that bad,  it's just a bit too loud and the air a bit too stale for my tastes,  i'll be fine, oh and if you see Robin tell him i'm back outside by the rock”

“of course, i'll let him know should i see him”

At his affirmation that he'd tell Robin he saw me I left to go outside again.

As soon as the cool air hit my face I felt immediately better and the fog in my mind cleared.

After all, I was just a bit overwhelmed with that many people in one room, not to mention the overly loud music and way too many people heating up the room just by being there.

Eh, whatever, I already felt better and I wasn't going to go back inside.

I decided that such events weren't my thing, aside from the tasty food, There wasn't much to do anyway and I barely knew anyone.

Walking a few steps away from the castle so I was sure I wouldn't bump into anything I twisted the gem on the bracelet and was promptly back in the Ardua form, Shaking the stiffness out from my limbs.

Yeah, way better, and now i didn't have to worry about anyone flipping out about my pointy ears.

By now word would have gotten around about the green beast that was friends with the king so this probably was the safer option to just hang around the castle as a whole.

There was also the fact that most people wouldn't randomly attack something this big.

And the long legs were faster than my human form which was also a plus as I could get from the castle back to the rock in a matter of barely a minute.

By now it had gotten dark outside, it was still bright enough to find my way but I steered clear of anything I couldn't identify.

At least the way back to the rock wasn't that far and I made sure not to get too close to the edge as it probably was a lot more dangerous to get near in the dark.

Even if I found that I could see strangely well,  but then again there was still light from the castle windows.

And the stars, they were actually very pretty even if the light from the castle made them a bit harder to see.

Just to be on the safe side I went to the spot where the boulder went under the dirt, so a good few feet away from the cliff itself.

I wasn't keen on falling off of that should I fall asleep.

I'd end up impaled on one of those spikes,  or drowning if the impact didn't kill me.

No thanks, living is actually nice now.

Settling on the patch of grass next to the boulder I ended up staring out into the darkness for a bit.

This place was actually really pretty, the castle staff took good care of it even if the floorplan was absolutely moronic,  like whose idea was it to build like this?

But so far the garden was my favorite place. 

I briefly wondered if Barsen had any helpers or if he did it all by himself.

Surely not, he might be good but nobody could be everywhere at once, And just because I hadn't seen anyone else working in the garden didn't mean there was no one helping out.

At a sudden noise that sounded like a snapping branch I turned my head to whatever was disturbing the quiet that was here just a moment ago.

At first I saw nothing, which I attributed to suddenly looking at the light from the castle again, but then I could make out a human silhouette.

With the light coming from behind it was hard to tell who it was, especially since they were hunched over and seemed to have their hands over their ears.

The figure let out a high pitched whine and I suddenly recognized the voice, as well as the mop of red hair they possesed.

“Robin? Are you okay?”

I immediately stood up and went over to him to make sure he wasn't hurt.

He was acting strange and only seemed to register that I was here after I spoke.

And he didn't stop clutching his head. 

I wished he'd step out of the bushes and into a brighter part so I could make sure he wasn't bleeding.

“Donovan? I- i… what are you doing here?”

He sounded like hed been crying, oh fuck what happened? 

I hadn't been gone that long so what was going on?

I kneeled down,  or at least what was the equivalent of that as Ardua and looked him over.

“Hey, are you okay? What happened? Why are you out here alone?

Are you hurt? Why are you holding your head like this?”

He didn't seem to be bleeding from anywhere,  but that still did not mean that he didn't get whacked in the head.

He looked up at me and in the sparse light of the castle I could see half dried tear tracks that went down his face.

He was also slightly hyperventilating and trembling,  What the hell had happened after I left?

Softening my voice as much as I could, I kneeled even closer to him, attempting to comfort him with my presence.

“Hey, talk to me, what happened?”

He suddenly wrapped his arms around the fluffy part of my neck and kept holding the fur while he trembled.

“I- I'm sorry, it's just- just too much, way too much, it's too loud, too bright and there are too many people! I- my brain can't keep up, it's just- ! “

He had started hyperventilating even worse as he spoke,  and while I still wasn't sure what was going on at least I knew now that he hadn't been attacked or otherwise physically hurt.

“I'm not sure what exactly you mean, but if you want some peace and quiet you can just join me in lazing about out here?”

Since he was now very close to my vocal chords I took extra care to not be too loud and keep my voice soft for him.

He just mumbled something that definitely wasn't words and shoved his tear stricken face into my mane.

Well, then I would have to figure it out myself.

Hooking one arm under him and holding him in the space between my neck and underarm I walked on three legs to the spot I had just left before and settled down again.

This time with a little ginger cuddled up to my thorax and hiding in the fur of my short mane curled up with his hands over his head as if to protect himself from some unseen foe.

The worst thing was that I had no idea what the hell was wrong or even how to help him.

I found it best to try again to get an at least somewhat coherent answer.

“Robin? I'm not sure what is going on right now,  Can you tell me? I want to help but i don't know how”

At first I thought he wouldn't respond, aside from another high pitched whine, but then he finally gave me at least some information.

“My brain is screaming at me, that I need to go hide and that there's too much noise, too much- everything right now! And it wont shut up!”

He sobbed out.

Oh, he had a bad brain day, err night, i've had some of those,  shortly after my mother had died but they weren't frequent and certainly not as severe as his.

Apparently all the stuff that had happened over the past month had just gotten too much as he attended the party where a ton of loud people where and not to mention that the room was stupidly hot too.

“Well, considering what has happened over the course of the last month that isn't really a surprise,  believe me my brain had trouble catching up at all! 

And don't worry, everyone gets overwhelmed sometimes, that's just a thing that happens,  you can stay with me for as long as you want”

He just tried to bury himself further in the fur of my neck,  even if there wasn't that much more to burrow into.

“S’not the first time, it happens a lot to me and i don't know why, 

I don't do anything that the others don't, so why me? 

Why’s my brain like this? 

I try my best to keep it together but it never works”

He sniffled a little and continued to try and disappear into my fur.

Oh, so this was not a new nor unusual occurrence for him,  no wonder he tried to ditch the party by hiding out in the garden.

And the fact that he hyperventilated must have been because he had a panic attack before me speaking snapped him out of it.

“Is there ANYthing i can do to help you? 

If not we can just stay here for a while”

He curled up against my neck and mumbled.

“I just wanna hide somewhere till my brain is quiet again, but i don't wanna be alone, but i also don't wanna see anyone's face right now”

Well, those were a tiny bit conflicting with each other,  What the hell was I even supposed to do with that information?

With his form curled so close to my throat he couldn't see my face,  and it was sorta hidden, he wasn't alone either.

But maybe that was still too exposed for him? 

Or too loud as i could still faintly hear the party in the distance and see the stupidly bright light from the windows.

“I- well what can i do? 

I'm not the smartest in such stuff so please tell me”

He pressed himself even more into the fur of my throat,  if that was even possible and mumbled into it.

“I- i just want to Hide, somewhere were the outside world can't get me”

“Hide? Where? Do you want me to bring you to Oakleys tower?

Oakley might even be able to help better than I did,  but if he didn't want to see more people right now then I would just try my best and hope that it would work.

“No, I- i want you to hide me, can you hide me again? Like in the snow?”

Like in the snow? What did he-

Oh.

Surely that wasn't what he meant?

“i- like when you were cold? 

Are you absolutely sure that's what you want?”

feeling him nod i could hear the softest voice answer

“Mhm, i just wanna be somewhere where the outside world can't get me, but i don't wanna be alone either, and i know you wont hurt me”

He wanted to hide with me, go back in THERE of all things too.

And only because he thought it would help,  and that he was absolutely convinced that I would not hurt him.

How the FUCK could i say no to him? I couldn't, not when he displayed such an amount of trust in me that I would keep him safe.

“Only if you are absolutely sure, and if you get scared for any reason tell me and i'll get you out as fast as i can, okay?”

He made an agreeing sound and slowly uncurled a little so he could reach my face.

While getting out of my mane he used one hand to brace himself on my face, and God his hands were tiny, HE was tiny.

If he truly thought this would help him then i would do it, even if i didn't understand it, i said i’d help him so i would even if it was rather unusual.

I carefully shifted around him so I had enough space to move my head properly and he wouldn't have to awkwardly climb over my legs.

He just stood there for a second,  hugging himself with his arms and slightly hunched over, 

He was so small, he already wasn't a tall human but with me as Ardua he was just so tiny, and with him standing there so vulnerable right now it was as if a breeze could knock him over.

I took a deep breath before looking at him again.

“Okay, last chance to back out, are you SURE about this? 

If you don't wanna say anything, tap three times and I'll stop, okay?”

He was still shaking, and I had no idea how long such an episode usually lasted but I was sure that if he thought it would help then I'd do it.

He just leaned forward and put his slightly shaking forehead against my snout. 

I could feel that his head was cold and clammy, yeah, he needed help.

“M’ sure, go ahead”

He mumbled out in a shaky voice.

That was probably all the confirmation I was gonna get from him.

So without further ado i opened my mouth,  waiting for just one second in case he backed out at the last moment.

He didn't, instead he reached out and grabbed hold of one of my teeth.

Admittedly that was a very weird sensation, but since he seemed to be okay with it I brought him fully into my mouth, 

making sure to shield my bottom teeth with my tongue so there was no chance he could get nicked by one.

I gave him a few more seconds before I closed my mouth and sealed him in, then I waited a few more seconds,  sort of expecting him to tap three times and ask to be let out.

There was no tapping, instead he just kind of sunk into my tongue, relaxing the tiniest bit.

This was weird as fuck, but i didn't do it for myself,  I did it to help my friend.

If someone had told me a few months ago that i would actually have friends i’d have laughed at them,  but now I actually did have people to care about.

And a lot of other unbelievable stuff happened too of course,  like right now.

Since Robin still hadn't asked to be let out I decided to slowly tip my head back, giving him one last chance to back out before I swallowed.

Robin just put his arms over his head, not in an attempt to stop though,

It was more like he tried to make himself slimmer.

He really was okay with this, well he had suggested it, weird as it was.

Tipping my head fully back I let him slide a bit before taking the first swallow.

I waited for one second to see if this would cause him to freak out but there was nothing aside from the trembling that had persisted since he walked into me.

I gently swallowed again, Placing my paw softly against my throat,  I was barely able to sense the bulge traversing down before it made its way behind my collarbone and out of reach from my limbs.

Another swallow then sent him spilling into my pouch and I held my breath, there was still a chance that this could cause him to freak out.

He did not freak out luckily,  The only movement he made was to right himself and get out of the sort of upside down position he had initially landed in since he'd gone in head first.

He was still trembling though, so I thought it best to check up on him in case he just froze in a fight or flight response.

“Robin? Are you okay? If you are scared i'll let you out right away”

“No, I’m- i’m okay, i’m calmer now, this is actually helping”

Thank FUCK he wasn't freaking out, and it really was helping? How?

At least he wasn't trembling as much anymore, if that was from finally calming down or his adrenaline running out I couldn't tell.

I hoped it was the former.

“Hey Robin? Not to pry but uhh, How is this helping?”

If he didn't want to answer that was also okay,  but I couldn't deny that I was curious as to WHY.

I could feel him shift for a second before he answered,  or at least tried to.

“I- well- i just-”

He seemed to flop over and I was pretty sure I heard an annoyed groan before he tried again,  this time a lot more coherent as the words just spilled from his mouth.

“Sometimes the world is just too loud, there's noise everywhere and-  and if it gets too much I just can't anymore!

And it's so bright too! Some days it hurts my eyes.

And then it's too quiet again which makes me really anxious that people don't like me and don't want to talk to me!

But here it's- it's sort of calm? Like it's not silent, 

I can hear your Heart and everything and I know I'm not alone but-, 

I- I feel like nothing can get me while I'm here, I feel like I don't have to stare people in the face to find clues to what they actually mean!

I get it wrong most of the time anyway, and you're the only one that always tells the truth so I don't have to guess if you actually mean what you said or not!

And there's no light to hurt my eyes! I mean it's not completely dark. 

Just sorta dim so it's not scary either.

I mean you're not scary, at all,  you're nice to me even if you don't have to. 

I just- sometimes I feel like there is too much space and I don't like it!

But- it's nice to be able to escape reality, At- at least for a little bit.

I- I'm sorry for rambling, if you don't want me here now i'll leave! 

I know i'm weird-”

“It's okay, I'm weird too, I mean look at me, I'm a big green catlike  creature with flowers growing on its back and a pointy eared bastard, and sometimes a giant”

I interrupted him before he could talk himself back into a less than ideal headspace.

How about I'll promise you something? Is that okay?”

“Mmh?”

He seemed a bit confused that I would offer to promise him anything.

Well as half Fae it was binding, so i could not back out, ever.

“If you ever feel like stuff gets too much you can come to me and I'll try my best to make time and help you, does that sound good to you?”

He was silent for a bit and I worried if he even heard me but before I could repeat he finally spoke.

“That- you don't have to do that, i can- i can deal with this myself”

He was clearly apprehensive about the offer and trying to disappear in one of the folds of my pouch.

“Well yeah, I guess so, but you don't Have to deal with this alone.

Look, I've lived a majority of my life alone and I can tell you that needing help isn't a bad thing,  hell I would have loved to have had help sometimes.

I know what it's like dealing with stuff alone and I think it sucks,  Nobody should have to be alone when they need help.

Besides, I'm just offering you that if you do need help you can come to me and I'll do my best to help and make time for you.

And now that we are at the castle i doubt i'll have much to do anyway”

I patiently waited for his response,  he didn't HAVE to answer now though, He could take as much time as he needed.

And for whatever Reason, which I was going to blame the Ardua Bracelet on, being able to protect him like this felt right.

While he was there nothing could get to him unless it got through me first, literally.

And there was no way a spider could sneak in,  so he didn't have to worry about his phobia either.

He could just, relax and let someone else do everything,  maybe that's exactly what he had needed.

“Donovan? I don't think i have enough brainpower to think about that today, is it okay if i answer some other time?”

“Of course, take as much time as you need,  i'm not going anywhere, at least not without you”

Adding a bit of humor at the end wouldn't hurt right? 

Besides he wasn't feeling the best right now so maybe it would cheer him up a little bit at least.

He just snuggled deeper into my pouch and i had to keep from emitting a pleased hum, man, fuck those Ardua instincts.

This was NOT about me right now!

This was to help Robin, nothing else.

I carefully positioned myself so that my Pouch was shielded from all sides by my limbs and only my back and head were exposed to the night air.

This pose did have a lot of similarities to the loaf form I had taken earlier that day.

Now nothing could get to him, not even near him without me knowing.

Though, my self control really was being tested today wasn't it?

For whatever godforsaken reason Robin had started rubbing the inside of my pouch, likely spaced out again even if I couldn't see him.

The sensation practically made me melt like warm butter and I had to really fight to keep from letting out a delighted hum.

I did not want to startle him with a random sound,  not when he finally wasn't trembling anymore.

Instead I just froze on the spot,  not moving aside from my tail swinging from side to side.

Then he started to knead into the walls even more.

************************************************************************

Robin had been right, this was helping.

He was just lying in a soft and dim room where the only noises he could hear, aside from Donovan speaking, 

were the rhythmic whooshing of the lungs that somehow reminded him of a distant breeze through trees and the steadily thumping Heart that sent blood to every part of the Arduas body.

It was strangely soothing to be surrounded by something alive that had promised to never hurt him and listen to the muted sounds his body made just by being alive.

He briefly wondered why he had two hearts if only one was doing its job already so well,  but he was a hybrid so things probably didn't have to make sense.

And for some reason he actually felt safe in here, logically he shouldn't, He knew that, but he also knew Donovan wouldn't hurt him.

He’d promised that back when they were still in the forest,  and he doubted he'd break that promise.

He was half Fae, and Fae was bound to their promises.

Somehow he didn't think that the Fae thing was what made him keep this promise.

And after his… outburst, his energy was sapped,  The soft and warm walls didn't help that either.

He was more comfortable than he’d been in, well, ever, and the texture of the walls was like silk, if silk was even smoother and slightly damp.

Not that he minded that, at all.

And it was so, so soft.

Robin couldn’t help leaning into them and rubbing his hands over the surroundings just to feel how his fingers went over the smooth walls.

The texture really was like the smoothest silk had ever touched, 

if not better, so he steadily moved his hands over it from left to right,  As well as up and down.

That got a reaction,  the walls around him twitched in surprise for a second.

Robin huffed and rubbed at the wall again, causing the room around him to rumble and a new sound to surround him.  

Donovan was purring… That was kind of adorable. 

Encouraged by that wonderful sound that made his bones thrumm, Robin pressed his hand to the wall and started rubbing in a circular motion, now with both hands, turning Donovan’s stilted vocalization into a steady purr. 

Should he mention it?

They were all new to this, maybe it was something he wanted to know?

Besides, the sound was relaxing and made his bones buzz slightly.

He liked the sound, Donovan really was like a big cat in his Ardua form.

He decided to mention it and tell him that he liked the sound.

“You are purring”

************************************************************************

“You are purring”

What? What did the little ginger mean? I wasn't a cat,  I couldn't purr, What was he talking about?

“No im not” 

But even as i said this i became aware of the fact that there was a sound that DID sound a lot like purring, and the sound was coming from me.

“Yes you are,you're doing it right now!”

He yawned as he said this and resumed kneading his tiny hands into the walls.

Damnit.

I really should ask Oakley if I could take a look at the book he mentioned.

“Go sleep already, i can tell you're tired,  and you just had kind of a bad time you should rest”

He yawned again and snuggled into one of the walls of my pouch.

“Hmmkay, i do like the purring though, its relaxing”

He did? Well,  since there was no one else around I guessed I could just continue?

If the sound was calming for him maybe it'd help? 

While I doubted that he was still shaken from his earlier panic,  having some soothing background noise would probably be nice for him.

And I had to admit that this was actually pretty comfortable, somehow.

I was still lying on a rock outside at night while I had a living breathing human person IN my pouch.

Though while he was sleepily snuggled up in one of the folds of my pouch he was still absent mindedly running his hands over the flesh there.

Yeah, continuing to purr was not a problem like this.

Though he went slower and slower, likely falling asleep.

And somehow this was relaxing enough that I also got tired.

Well, it had been a long day, a weird one too, Now it was time for some peace and quiet,  Gods know both of us needed that after the weird weeks we had.

I yawned and then felt Robin roll over,  sleepily mumbling something and then curling up.

While I was kind of disappointed that the internal massage stopped,  I was glad that he finally fell asleep,  It was late and I knew he was not a morning person.

My own eyelids growing heavy,  I let my head dip down to rest on the ground, 

using one of my paws as a pillow and falling asleep content with the knowledge that my Friend was safe, even from his own fears.

At some point during the night I was briefly awoken by a rustling sound.

What now? I was tired,  whoever this was could pester me with their bullshit tomorrow!

Still, I should probably make sure that this wasn't a threat.

Looking over to where the sound came from I could see another silhouette stumbling over some bushes.

Oh, wait, in the dim moonlight I could actually see who it was after my eyes had adjusted.

It was Arthur, and he was stumbling his way over to me.

Man his eyes must have not adapted to the dark with how he kept bumping into things,  then again it might be possible that Ardua just had better night vision.

Then he walked past me towards the cliff.

Oh fuck no.

I stood up as fast as I could while still being mindful of my worn out passenger.

I managed to snag the back of his shirt with a claw before he just walked off of the cliff.

What the fuck was wrong with him?

Then I noticed it.

His face was flushed pink, like a lot so,  he must have had a few too many alcoholic beverages.

Goddamnit, I knew what I was doing when I avoided anything alcoholic.

And it was a good thing that i had been out here and woken up when i heard him.

He could be dead by now,  impaled by one of the spikes or drowned in the ocean far below. 

That was a very frightening thought, one I did not dare entertain further.

But fucking hell, how much did he have intus?

Well, i’d say not my problem but apparently it was now since it was clear he did not know what he was doing.

I'd better make sure he would not run off again, or worse,  and potentially kill himself.

I used a claw to hook his shirt and drag him back to the spot I had been in before but he wiggled out of it with some slurred speech that I had no hope of understanding.

Well, the hard way it was then, I grabbed the back of his shirt with my teeth and dragged him like that.

I did not plan on swallowing him though, he'd only disturb Robin and that was the last thing I wanted.

Speaking of the ginger, I could feel him sleepily shifting and hoped he wouldn't wake up.

Also he was drunk as fuck, that could be actually dangerous,  for both of us as he could injure someone.

Also I doubted he'd appreciate that.

So I carried him by the scruff like a kitten and went back to settling where I was before.

I carefully set him down between my arms and made sure he could not escape, but instead of trying to get out and leave he just settled in the crook of my arm which I had previously used as a pillow.

He was just lying there but before I could ask him anything he shoved a hand against the side of my head and slurred out something barely coherent.

“No, shut up”

Well, i didn't mind him there, but if he puked on me or disturbed Robin somehow i would put him in a tree.

But i did hope that this was it for nightly disturbances,  I needed sleep too.

Settling my head on my arm again I made sure that Arthur couldn't just get up and wander off.

I did not want him falling of the cliff in his intoxicated state,  that would be horrible.

And he kind of already tried to do that sooo, this was for the better.

Checking one last time that he wouldn't wander off and that Robin was still comfortable in my pouch I rested my head and finally went back to sleep.

And if someone else decided they would wake me in the middle of the night I would chuck them through a castle window.

Luckily I was not disturbed again and could just sleep through the night and into the morning where I got woken by a very confused Arthur who did not remember how he got there.

Yeah, this was gonna be fun.

And now I actually had friends.

Friends that did not mind me being a weird shape shifting Fae Bastard.

Though the fact that I could eat people was probably not something we would talk about, aside from Robin maybe.

But the little rusthead did end up taking my offer of helping when he had a bad brain day.

From this point onward things could only get better,  and as soon as Rikaad found that stupid paperwork i could also go to the city and explore without being immediately executed.

I’d wait for a few weeks though,  just to be sure that everyone got the memo.

But it was nice to finally know that things would get better,  and not just for me, with Rikaad as king it would get better for everyone.

Yeah, I was looking forward to that future. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NEXT / PREVIOUS / OVERSIGHT

[doctorhelena]

I posted 7,163 times in 2022

That's 397 more posts than 2021!

75 posts created (1%)

7,088 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@theawkwardterrier

@mrsvilveyachke

@beradan

@emptymanuscript

@invidiosa

I tagged 1,761 of my posts in 2022

#fanart - 269 posts

#dracula daily - 248 posts

#steggy - 196 posts

#peggy carter - 78 posts

#x files - 70 posts

#fic rec - 65 posts

#captain carter - 49 posts

#my fic - 47 posts

#star trek - 38 posts

#always reblog - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#which seems to happen to a lot of female and poc actors who play characters that get maligned for getting in the way of some other favorite

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

“Howard, I'm going to kill you for making me wear this bloody hat.”

Happy 101st (or possibly 103rd) birthday to Peggy Carter, Director of SHIELD!

Peggy Carter’s Photo Album 2/? 

(Made for Peggy’s birthday event at @peggycarterbirthdaybash​!)

61 notes - Posted April 9, 2022

#4

What If... Captain Carter Had Met Bernard Stark?

67 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

#3

68 notes - Posted October 31, 2022

#2

“Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable.”

“Yes, I’m aware of that, but we’re not actually in public.”

“And I'm not uncomfortable. Are you?”

“Oh, dreadfully, Widow. I'm afraid I'll need you to kiss me again immediately.”

—PeggyNat Action Figure Adventures, Part 2—  

Part 1

69 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Steggy Fic: Caps Out of the Bag

I’ve created something for every day of Steggy Week 2022 over at @steggyfanevents! This is for Day 1 (Inspired By).

(It is inspired by a tiny scene in Chapter 5 of Assemble by @notafangirl, who kindly gave me permission to use the idea as the starting point for a story of my own - otherwise entirely unrelated to "Assemble"!)

Summary: Captain America and Captain Carter have been successfully hiding their romantic relationship for just over a year. Until today.

Rating: PG-13

Read it on A03

Excerpt:

“That’s your phone,” Steve said into Peggy’s ear. When she didn’t move he reached across her to snag it off her nightstand, handed it to her, then flopped back down onto his own side of the bed as she blinked sleepily at the screen before reluctantly swiping at the green icon.

“Carter.”

With his enhanced hearing, Steve could hear perfectly well why she sat up, abruptly wide awake. She slid out of bed, scanned the floor, and bent down to retrieve her underpants. “Bollocks. All right, I’ll be out front in ten. See you shortly.” She hung up.

Steve eyed his own phone, still silent and dark. “You think they’re gonna call me in on this too?”

Peggy was already in the bathroom. “I expect you should be on alert,” she said, not bothering to raise her voice, “but at this point, it’s likely best for you to stay here in New York on the off chance that this is actually some sort of elaborate distraction.”

“Right, yeah,” Steve said, digging around under the covers at the bottom of the bed with his foot. “I found your bra,” he added, using his foot to pass himself the tangled bundle of cloth that was his undershorts and her lacy red brassiere.

He heard the toilet flush. “Rogers, please tell me you didn’t pick up my underwear with your toes again,” Peggy said over the sound of water running in the sink. She appeared in the doorway a moment later, toothbrush in mouth and hair in a single braid, and sighed. “Never mind. Toss it here.”

“If you don’t mind touching my feet with your bare skin, I don’t know why it bothers you when I touch your clothes with them,” said Steve mildly, lobbing the bra in her direction. She caught it, made a face at him, and stepped back into the bathroom to spit her mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, emerging shortly without the toothbrush, having somehow made the time to apply a perfect coat of lipstick. Steve smiled at that little touch that she hadn’t foregone despite her hurry, then settled back on the bed, enjoying the view while she fastened her bra.

Peggy caught his eye, a tiny smile at the corners of her mouth, then sighed. “I brought the stealth suit, but I’m fairly certain I forgot to pack a sports bra. Well, it can’t be helped now. I got along perfectly well long before the invention of Lycra, and I suppose the suit itself provides a certain amount of support.” She slipped into the hallway, and Steve got up, stepped into his underwear, and padded after her. By the time he reached the entryway she was rummaging through the go bag she’d left by his apartment door, pulling out her stealth suit, the subtle Union Jack pattern just visible on the chest. Both of their suits were considerably muted now from the flashy red, white, and blue they’d worn during their respective wars.

“I was right, not a sports bra in sight,” she told him resignedly as she began to shimmy into the suit. “I need to repack this bag.”

“Food? Coffee?” he offered, although he knew she’d say no.

She shook her head. “No time. I’ll eat in the Quinjet. They’re always well-stocked with terrible energy bars and the like. No worse than K-rations, really - but not much better either.” She leaned over to kiss him, at the same time reaching past him into the closet to grab her shield in its brown leather case. “If I’m not outside my own building in five minutes, questions will be asked. I’ll update you when I can. Stay safe, darling. I love you,” she said all in a rush, picking up her go bag.

“Yeah, you too. I mean, you stay safe too. And - I love you too,” he told her, and she wasted precious seconds shooting him a brilliant smile.

He smiled as he locked the door behind her, knowing that at this hour of the morning she’d be able to take most of the distance at her full enhanced sprint without worrying about drawing attention. He checked the time. She should easily make the ten blocks to her own apartment before Natasha swung by to pick her up.

And then, since his own phone was still dark and silent, he headed back to bed, feeling really very absurdly cheerful for a man whose bedmate had very abruptly legged it out of his apartment at 3:12 in the morning.

Clearly, making sudden declarations of love at rushed moments when there was no time to discuss the matter at all must be something fundamental to Peggy Carter, no matter what universe she was from.

Read the rest on A03

73 notes - Posted July 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[wildcrisis]

A Child’s Wish

Tis the season, and while I know they don’t celebrate Christmas in Japan the way we do here in the US, I couldn’t help but write a little something festive and close to my heart. It’s not something that’ll appear in Flourish, but it is a part of the Flourish-verse (Aizawa adopting his nephew, Hitoshi). I wrote it up in a hurry and didn’t edit it -- consider it a quick gift! 

Summary: Five-year old Hitoshi notices the mall Santa, and absolutely has to tell him his wish for Christmas.

Below the cut!

Aizawa had always been rather neutral about the Christmas season. Growing up in the environment that he did, his family didn’t really celebrate the season much -- nor did their broken family really have much to celebrate. Throughout the years he’d played along with the normal Christmas traditions for Hizashi’s sake; trading gifts, helping the blonde decorate, enjoying a piece of candy or two. But, he’d never felt any passion about the season, not the way he saw it in Yamada’s eyes. He enjoyed making those close to him happy, sure, but all the trees, the gifts, the decor, the songs, they hadn’t really done much for him. 

Not until Hitoshi came along. 

Mic had, as he was wont to do, made Hitoshi’s first Christmas a big deal. At the time, Shouta had just gone along with it again -- his child was a baby who didn’t understand what was going on. They’d had a small, fake tree in their tiny apartment, with little gifts for Hitoshi under its glossy branches, tinsel and decor hanging just out of a small child-who’d-just-learned-to-walk’s reach. But, seeing “Santa” or opening a gift, it didn’t mean anything to a child that small. He got a little more into it the next year, Hitoshi giggling with glee as the paper shredded in his tiny hands -- a colorful toy hiding beneath. Again, Hizashi made sure it was well-documented; a picture of a beaming Shinsou and a reluctantly smiling Aizawa hidden away in a small photo album in his bedside table. 

By the time Hitoshi was three, he’d gotten a little more grasp on Christmas. He was beginning to understand who Santa was, thanks to Hizashi. Shouta bought Christmas-themed books to read to his son, who fell asleep too many times to count to stories of Santa delivering gifts and Rudolph proving his worth to the other reindeer to save the day. 

It was the first year Shouta felt it. The Christmas spirit. When he woke Hitoshi up that morning, and watched the look of awe, surprise, and glee on his son’s face when he’d noticed the gifts that had magically appeared under the tree overnight ( “Looks like Santa paid us a visit, Hitoshi. He brings gifts to all the little kids who’ve been good all year long, remember?”), it finally warmed his heart to the idea of Christmas. 

That single look of magic in Hitoshi’s eyes. 

The following year, Aizawa got more into the festive spirit. He played Christmas music occasionally in the house. He and Hitoshi built a gingerbread house together -- somewhat, anyway, as parts of it definitely disappeared into Hitoshi’s stomach. That year, he taught Shinsou about buying gifts for others -- like Uncle Beebee. While he still didn’t bother with buying a real tree (there was no way it would fit into the apartment), he at least bought a few new, flashier decorations for their plastic one, and a couple of stockings to hang up as well. He helped his son write a letter to Santa, detailing all the good things he’d done that year, and asking for an innocent gift;

“What would you like to ask Santa for, Hitoshi?” 

“To be a hero!!” 

“Hmm, how about something a little smaller for now? I don’t think Santa has enough room in his sleigh for a hero’s education this year.” 

 “ ... A mustache!” 

“Alright, kiddo, a mustache. How about a friend for Beans, too? Don’t you think he could use another kitty friend?”

“Yeah! A new kitty!” 

When Christmas morning came, Shouta felt his heart melt once again. Hitoshi, giggling with pure and innocent happiness, thanking Santa as he opened a gift and showed it off. He couldn’t help but smile as his son cuddled his new stuffed kitty close, as he marveled at the milk and cookies that Santa had “enjoyed” the night before, as he babbled about how much he loved Christmas. Hitoshi was more than excited to show off his new kitty, and booklet of fake stick-on mustaches, to Yamada’s family at Christmas Dinner later that day. 

Aizawa spent two decades of his life not really feeling much of a thing for Christmas. Not until his son came along. 

Now that Hitoshi was five, he was asking more questions that Shouta was having to defer to Yamada about. How did Santa deliver all those gifts? How did he keep track of everyone? Why does everyone celebrate Christmas? Could they stay up and try and catch Santa? Was Santa a hero? His son, however adorable, was a questions machine. 

Aizawa managed to stem the flow of endless Christmas-related questions by reminding Hitoshi that they needed to go pick something up for Hizashi. His son completely switched gears, grinning ear to ear with his bright, gap-toothed smile, purple eyes shining with delight. Shouta bundled Hitoshi up in his warm coat, wrestling a warm cap over his unruly mop of indigo locks, and hurried them off to the mall to look for something Hizashi would enjoy. 

Hitoshi’s hand clung hard to his own as they walked through the crowded mall, two sets of perpetually-tired eyes glancing over stores, over all the shining toys and gifts on display, over all the Christmas-themed clothing, reds and greens abound. Aizawa had to hoist Hitoshi into his arms so they could discuss what they thought Hizashi might enjoy, the noise of the crowd making drowning out Shinsou’s naturally quiet tone. Shouta carried his son down the walkway, holding him close, taking a moment every now and again to look at see that endless, joyful emotion reflecting in Hitoshi’s eyes. 

However, they didn’t quite make it to the store they’d been headed to. Instead, Shinsou let out a loud gasp, hands flying into the air and nearly smacking his father in the face, his little voice ringing out, “Daddy, daddy! It’s Santa Claus!” 

There in the distance was the mall Santa -- a surprisingly well done version, proudly plump, with red-dusted cheeks, a full white beard, and a genuine, kind smile. There was a small line to see him; children waiting impatiently, some bouncing on the balls of their feet while others stared forward, obviously a little terrified. Shouta knew it could go either way with Hitoshi -- he tended to be a little guarded with strangers -- but there was no harm in asking his son what he’d like to do. 

“Would you like to talk to Santa, Hitoshi?”

Shinsou’s innocent eyes fell wide with surprise, his mouth falling slack, “I-- I can talk to Santa?” 

Shouta chuckled, patting his young son’s back, “Only if you want to, kiddo. We could always write him a letter instead. He’ll understand.” 

Hitoshi chewed on the thought for a moment, his violet eyes turning skyward as he pondered. Finally, he nodded, “I wanna talk to Santa. I know what I wanna ask for this year.” 

Aizawa smiled and set Hitoshi down on his feet, leading him over to the line, “Alright. You wait for you turn in line, and I’ll be right over there with the other parents, okay?” 

There was a little reluctance in the way Hitoshi let go of his hand, but Shouta kept a close eye on his son as he stepped away, giving the nervous child a small, reassuring smile and wave every time he glanced over. Aizawa was proud, oh so proud of Hitoshi for being brave enough to stand in the line, alone, to talk to Santa on his own. Ever since his quirk had developed, Hitoshi had been a little nervous to speak to others; always shy and quiet with his eyes and head bowed. But, now, he was facing forward with determination, his little hands curled at his sides, violet hair poking out from underneath his stocking cap. 

What was so important, Aizawa pondered to himself, that Hitoshi would have such determination to tell Santa?

Ten minutes passed before it was Hitoshi’s turn to visit with Santa Claus. His steps were a little shaky as he marveled at Kris Kringle with awe in his eyes, filled with surprise and giddy energy. He was set on Santa’s knee, and Aizawa stood close by on the other side of the small gate with the other parents, listening in for a clue as to what Hitoshi could possibly want that had been so important. 

“And what’s your name, son?” Santa asked heartily, smiling dearly at the young boy. 

“H-Hitoshi,” Shinsou stammered back, clearly a little intimidated despite the joy he’d been feeling only a moment ago. 

“Now now, Hitoshi,” Santa rumbled a laugh, “No need to be frightened! Please, tell Santa what you’d like for Christmas. I know you’ve been a very good kiddo this year.” 

Shouta watched as his young son steeled his nerves, taking a deep breath and relaxing. He brought his little hands together in his lap, looking up to Santa for a moment, before turning his eyes to the ground. 

“ ... I wanna ask for something for my Dad,” Hitoshi mumbled as he fidgeted with his hands, finally turning his eyes back to Santa’s jolly face, “My daddy works really hard. He has two jobs, and he still always takes care of me -- and sometimes Uncle Beebee too, and he never asks for anything. I wanna ask you to give my daddy a present this year, cause I know he would be so happy to see one, like me. Please, Santa? Bring something for my dad too?” 

Aizawa wasn’t sure what reaction was on his face -- surprise, heartbreak, absolute adoration? His heart felt like it was going to melt out of his chest and drip into his boots. He pulled his scarf up around his face, turning his eyes away so that Hitoshi wouldn’t assume he’d been listening in. He heard Santa agree with another booming laugh, and glanced back only to see Hitoshi hug the man in red and thank him. Shouta needed more time to collect himself -- his face felt warm, and the ends of his eyelashes just a little damp. As Hitoshi rounded the corner, fast little footsteps quickly making their way towards him, Shouta reached out a hand for him, keeping his mouth hidden away. 

“Did you tell Santa what you want for Christmas this year?”

“Uh huh. Now we gotta find Beebee’s present!” 

“Right. Let’s get back to looking.” 

A week later, as Hitoshi woke up and ran to the tree in the morning, beating Aizawa to it, Shouta heard his son’s happy squealing voice. He rounded the corner into their small living area, rubbing the lack of sleep from his dark eyes as Shinsou bounded over to him, a box in his arms. 

“Daddy, Daddy! Santa brought you a present!!” Hitoshi grinned bigger than he ever had before, his violet eyes glistening, “Open it!” 

Shouta chuckled, taking the box from his son and setting it next to him, pulling off a big, surprised smile for Hitoshi’s sake, “Did he now? That’s quite the surprise. Let me have some coffee first, okay? You go ahead and open one of yours, and I’ll let Uncle Beebee know you’re up so he can join us.” 

Hitoshi bounced back over to the tree, crawling around to peer through his small pile of gifts. He sat on the floor, fingers tracing over the bow on one present -- and Shouta only barely heard the little whisper he gave. 

“Thank you, Santa, for making daddy so happy.” 

It was a moment Shouta would never forget, even as Christmas’s continued to pass by later in life and lose that magical spark they once held. 

Thank you, Hitoshi. Every time I think I couldn’t be happier or more proud to call you my son, you prove me wrong. 

You’re the greatest gift I could ever wish for. 

[penwieldingdreamer]

Just one Kiss

The third installment of my Daniel Ricciardo drabble/one-shot series. Also thank you so much for so many likes and reblogs on the other, too. I finally found a fandom again that I enjoy writing for, thank you guys.

If you're interested in the songs that inspire this, here's the Series Playlist

Happy reading. Let me know what you think.

I kept the reader as vague as possible. While writing I imagined a plus size! female! reader but you can think up whatever you want.

You had a shitty day at work, so Daniel invites you to stay with him in Monaco. In the end something might change for you both.

previous part

Warnings: fluff, some angst

Words: 2203

Come to Monaco, take some time off. We’ll go hiking and swimming, you’ll love it.

You read and re-read his message. Daniel had sent you the plane tickets after yet another lengthy call about your crazy boss who was complaining all the time. Covid had hit every business, but just like everyone else you weren’t able to change it and you couldn’t get people inside the shop to buy enough cars to keep your boss afloat.

Each and every day, no matter how hard you worked he wasn’t happy with your performance, even though all he did was sit inside his office and drink the expensive whiskey a friend gave him. 

You had joked about looking for a millionaire boyfriend and stop working if you found yourself with such a boss each time you changed workplaces. The Aussie had laughed at that, telling you he’d be there, providing for everything. “Don’t do that, I’d be stamped as a gold digger.”

“Fuck ‘em, I’d still do it.” His voice was hard but still making you laugh. “Besides, you’d be a great WAG.”

Smiling at his omission, you thanked him but couldn’t help picturing what life would be like if you did end up with the F1 driver. The glitz and glamor wasn't something you needed, but joining him on one of his trips or at races definitely had its perks. After that you had talked about his upcoming race in Spain and the one back in Silverstone where he ended up on P14, not something he wanted. Not for the team and especially for himself. 

“You’ll get on the podium again, Danny, it will come. Stay positive.” You tried to encourage but heard the doubt in his voice.

“I know, it’s just, I don't have a good feeling with the car. It’s working great one day and the next something is wrong. I don’t know.”

A few hours later you found his message and the link to the tickets on your phone and you knew saying No was not an option. You answered him with a grinning emoji, knowing the Renault driver was already awake and waiting for your reply.

Get ready to dine and wine me, loverboy.

The next day at work you put in your vacation time and left your boss’ office before he could comment on it. You knew he wasn’t happy with you being gone for two weeks, but since you had started working for him you had about two days off from work in the last year. 

“You dare leave with such short notice when it’s the busiest time of the year? I need you here, Y/N!” he called, standing at his desk and gripping your letter before you could close the door.

"I dare to. Work is slow anyway, with the pandemic people don't want to buy cars right now."

Grumbling, he sat back down. "Just make sure you'll do a better job than before so people actually come back. With your mood swings I'd not buy a car from you, too."

Swallowing the cuss, you gave him a tight nod before leaving the office. If you didn't need that job you'd probably have given that idiot a piece of your mind but at the moment he was still paying you more than your last workplace.

Back at your own desk you shot a quick text to Daniel, wishing him luck for the race in Spain and that you couldn't wait for the weekend to be over very quickly.

Three more days, babes, and you'll enjoy the Côte d'Azur. We'll meet in Nice at the airport, I'll be waiting at your gate.

True to his words the weekend was over faster than you thought and Daniel had sent you a voice message in the morning reminding you to have all your essentials, travel documents and to bring the happiest mood now that you would spend two weeks with the Honey Badger himself. You didn't know how he always did it, he was such a happy-go-lucky guy, although sometimes having a bad day, but just picturing his smile while he sent that voice made your day brighter. 

The plane ride was uneventful, even with the pandemic. All you had to do was keep your mask on and everyone was happy. Music was something you probably shared with Danny, you needed it when you were traveling, driving, cooking or just reading a book sometimes. Music made everything better and lifted the mood a bit, so thanks to some of the songs the Aussie had recommended, the journey to Nice, France had been faster than you thought.

You felt giddy, knowing he would be waiting for you at the arrival gate, hopefully in the same mood as he had that morning, knowing the weekend hadn't gone as planned for him as he wanted to. The plane finally touched down, passengers clapping and whooping loudly before you heard the snaps and clicks of the belts being loosened. Sometimes you wondered why people couldn't wait until you reached the parking spot. The doors wouldn't be opened before then, so why bother being the first to grab your shit when you'd still have to wait patiently. Shaking your head, you turned your phone back on.

You sent a quick message to your friend and family, letting them know you got there okay and one to Danny, so he knew you were about to meet him. With him being a famous driver you didn't know how many people might recognize him, if some at all with having to wear the masks and didn't want him to be in the middle of all of that. Although he once told you he didn't mind at all, but with it being this early he was confident it was smooth riding from there on.

Can't wait to see you, babes.

You chuckled at the nickname he gave you. He started a few weeks ago and when you asked him about it, the Aussie explained that it was the nickname for baby or mini potatoes.

"So, I'm a potato now?"

“No, you’re my baby potato.” His laugh had echoed through the speaker and you couldn’t help the grin that stole itself onto your lips as you thought back to it.

Grabbing your travel bag from the overhead compartment you stood and followed the passengers out of the plane. You couldn’t wait to get out of that crowd and see Danny again. It had been too long since you had time off and spending your free time with him was such a privilege. He was literally the sun, even when he had a bad day, he wanted to make his friends and loved ones smile no matter what.

Walking out of the gate, you finally were able to lose the throng of people that had traveled with you. That’s when you found him standing there in his merch hoodie, sunglasses and a mask. 

“Babes, fuck I missed that smile.” He pulled you closer, his arms circling around your shoulders. Michael was sitting opposite the gate at a small cafe area, enjoying a light breakfast. "Did you have breakfast?"

You shook your head, food hadn’t been on your mind this early in the morning. Your flight had left at dawn and plane food was never something you enjoyed, so you nibbled on the cookies and granola bar you had bought before take off. “I hoped I could get something here, enjoy the ocean view and sun.”

The Aussie chuckled, nodding over at Michael who had finished his coffee and scrambled eggs. “We’ll get your luggage, take a car to Monaco and then enjoy an amazing breakfast with a view.”

The drive to Monaco and Daniel’s home there was about half an hour but the scenery that flew past was the most beautiful you had seen in a while. The waters were so blue and even the mountains on the other side looked beautiful. Before you knew it the car was in the garage of the apartment complex. 

After a big brunch outside on the apartment balcony, enjoying the view down to the Port de Cap-d’Ali yacht club, the Aussie took you down to the beach. 

“Did you ever make a decision you might in the end think was the wrong one?” He asked you, his hands shoved into the pockets of his hoodie.

You looked over at him, your hand instinctively moving to his elbow. “What’s going on, Daniel? I’ve never seen you so down before.”

Sighing, Daniel shook his head. “I, fuck, I’m not sure. With the DNF in Austria and the car's performance I asked for a seat at McLaren. I’m still finishing my contract but I don’t know if getting that ball rolling was right. I just want to race and get back on the podium.”

“Why didn't you tell me before, huh? We're friends. Are you really sure this is what you want? Changing teams, I mean. You know I’ll have your back, no matter what you do.” He put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side. “What did your agent say to that? And Cyril?”

Daniel laid a kiss onto your temple. “He’s on board I think, it’s just so fucking annoying. I try to get it working, I have a few good positions and then it’s fucked up again. Most of all I miss my cheerleader at the track. And well, Cyril is…he's not happy but we're amicable and I try to get the points in, so at least it will be a split on good grounds. I thought he was never going to talk to me again.”

“I guess I can understand that. I wouldn't be happy, too, if my star driver talked with other teams after the first race. But it is your life, your decision in the end and as long as you try I think that's more than you can say about other people. Just think it through very well and take it day by day. Also, I'd be there more often, but I can’t get out of work all the time even if I wanted to. But you know I’m always watching you race and keeping you in my prayers.”

The Aussie let out a soft laugh. “You sound like my mum, she’s doing the same with every race.”

Shrugging your shoulders, you leaned your head against his shoulder. “Your mum’s not wrong to do that, it’s a risky business you’re enjoying. But it’s what you love so I guess there’s no way you’ll be quitting now.”

“Definitely not, but I’m glad you’re here now.” He stopped suddenly, his long fingers brushing a few loose strands out of your face. Daniel’s eyes locked with yours, switching down to look at your lips. Before you could react, his plush lips were on yours. His free hand moved behind your neck, pulling you closer to him.

Your own hands moved from his arms up to his shoulders, holding onto him with all your might, your knees already buckling from the sensations. The last time you had kissed him was back in Australia. That summer had haunted you for months - but in a good way if you were honest. You still felt his touch every night even when Daniel wasn’t there and for the longest time you had dreamed of getting that feeling back.

He pulled away, looking at your serene face. Your eyes were still closed and he couldn’t help the satisfied grin. “I really wanted to do that when you came to Silverstone.”

"There's still COVID, we should have been more careful. What if you"

"Fuck COVID, all I could think about was that smile and your lips. Kept me up at night every fucking day."

“Well, good things come to those who wait.” You returned his grin once you had looked back at him. Daniel had that broad grin he usually wore and you felt your insides tingle. “What’s it mean now?”

Shrugging his shoulders the F1 driver brushed his thumbs along your jaw. “I don’t know but I’d like to see where we're going. Take it day by day, ya know.”

“That’s a great idea I think.” You stood up on your tiptoes, grabbing his cheeks and pushing your lips against his for another kiss. 

Just one kiss had changed your dynamic from friends to something more and you couldn’t wait to explore where it might lead you.

The days after you spent swimming, hiking and just exploring Monaco and the area around the principality. You'd keep your relationship under wraps from the rest of the world for now, not an easy feat with him being a famous Formula 1 driver, but it didn't mean you had to sneak around. Daniel took you on a few dates and you promised to try and be at a few more races, staying at the Renault garage, rooting for your favorite Aussie. You also met his friends and saw Max again, enjoying the time out on the water with them and knew he had needed that time off from all the drama since the start of the season, not just with the pandemic but with the Renault-McLaren issue, too.

next part

[amaranthineoceans]

Everything Weird About Deltarune!

Spoiler Warning for Undertale and Both Chapters of Deltarune! Really! I Literally Go Through Everything I Can Remember About Them!

This is a long post so get comfortable. Also note that my brain doesn't process thoughts into words very well so some of these might not be worded in the best way. :)

Deltarune. The first teaser chapter was released on October 31, 2018, and it came out of nowhere. We've all gone through this, but I'll try and go through every single painstaking detail I can remember. Feel free to reblog and add/correct things.

The weirdness begins right off the bat. The title is an anagram of UNDERTALE. We all know Toby likes to use anagrams when he wants to indirectly tell us when things are related, so it's no surprise that when you go to download DELTARUNE, it warns you that the game is designed for people who have played UNDERTALE. You think, "Cool, so it's a sequel? Or maybe a prequel? A different perspective of UNDERTALE perhaps?" You were wrong; so terribly, terribly wrong! I'll elaborate on this later.

Before you download the application, the terms of service that you must agree to beforehand reads simply and plainly, "You accept everything that will happen from now on." This detail was kinda brushed off in the beginning, because, hey, it's Toby Fox. He does weird stuff all the time. But even in the first chapter, it's apparent that the concept of choice, or more accurately, the lack of it, is a very present theme in the game. I would like to remind you that Toby has announced that there will be one ending in the game. One. I'll elaborate on this later.

The program (as in, what the game is called in your files) is named SURVEY PROGRAM. Why not just call it Deltarune like it is when you download chapter two?

The game launches you, without a title screen, without any setting adjustment options, straight into a reference to the theme of the entire franchise: the lack of choice. A strange formless voice guides you through "making a vessel", with what we know now as a fountain in the background. You have the option to make some very disturbing choices in this character creator, such as making its favorite flavor "pain" or expressing your feelings about it with options such as "fear" and "disgust." You name your "creation," tell the formless voice your name (which is different from your vessel's name) and watch as said formless voice muses over your name at an agonizing pace. It thanks you for your time and tells you that your wonderful creation, (cue music cutout and background removal) will now be discarded. "No one can choose who they are in this world." The screen slowly turns white as the voice says, "Your... name... is..."

It gets weirder. The next scene appears from the whiteness and showcases Toriel calling "Kris" out of bed. Kris' area of the room is very bare in contrast to the other side, which we later discover is Asriel's.

It's Toriel. Why is Toriel here?

Kris is kind of an anagram of Frisk (the protagonist of UNDERTALE) but without the F. I highly doubt this is a coincidence.

Speaking with Noelle is the only reason you can proceed (see what i did there?) while finding a partner in the classroom. This means you can't go through the 1st chapter without knowing who she is. Is it because of the Snowgrave route?

Ralsei is just suspicious to me. There's no way he was just waiting in that castle his whole life alone without some mental toil. So either he's insane or he wasn't alone the whole time. What happened? Is it related to how he can close his eyes and see what Susie is going through when she's apart from the party? Was he just watching everything? Is he related to the formless voice?

Susie's icon is the only one without color in the Dark World.

Jevil's fight is more difficult than Sans'.

Your actions have little consequence in the first chapter. If you choose to go genocide, the only difference in the ending is being run out of the kingdom, and this doesn't carry over to the next chapter. Again, lack of choice, people.

If at the end of chapter one, you walk around town, it's mentioned (notably by Noelle) that you're usually not this talkative. If you go to the hospital and speak with the receptionist, they mention that you used to play the piano in the corner. If you decide to attempt to play the said piano, an out-of-key bash can be heard and the receptionist comments on how you used to play beautifully. If you try this in chapter two, the result is the same. All this is confirmation that Kris is acting noticeably weird.

When you leave the Dark World and walk around town, you can find Sans. He "pretends" to recognize you, and if you tell him you recognize him, he tells you it's funny, considering that you two have never met before. He winks. I'm pretty sure he knows that the player is there.

The mention of Papyrus in both games, but the purposeful lack of him. Like he's avoiding you.

If you go upstairs while inside Asgore's flower shop, there are flowers in glass cases resembling his SOUL collection in UNDERTALE. There's a red flower.

You can't enter the church.

The clock in the storage closet shows a different time than all the others in the school.

If you go all the way south in town and into the woods, the music stops and you come across a rusty, double door is in a hill covered in crass. It's locked. If you go this way in chapter two, however, you watch a cutscene where you and susie happen to find Monster Kid from UNDERTALE (or someone resembling them) and an owl kid in front of the door. The owl kid is pressuring Monster Kid to (presumably) break inside, telling them that they don't want to be a wimp like Kris. Does this imply that Kris is connected to this strange door somehow?

The ending. You know what I'm talking about.

Did Kris actually rip out the SOUL (I say "the" because I'm not entirely sure it's Kris') and knife because they wanted to eat the pie? Did they only eat the pie because Toriel caught them?

Why did they look at the player? Are they sick of being controlled? Is that why they freaked out after the Spamton fight? (later)

Anyway, now we're at chapter two.

DELTARUNE Chapter Two was released on September 17th, 2021. 17. Entry Number 17. Sound familiar?

Asriel's part of the room is different from the last chapter. I don't think this means anything sinister, but I think it means Kris notices different things about the room as the story progresses. My theory is that it will become more sinister in each chapter.

Ralsei getting super excited to see Susie and Kris after a day. As in he has separation anxiety and it breaks my heart. not anything suspicious but it makes me sad so it's on the list.

Kris and Susie's rooms. Ralsei REALLY doesn't want them to leave. Seriously get this boy a therapist. Or a stuffed animal. SOMETHING.

Kris having to gather everything from the storage closet so that people appear in the Dark World????? Why??????????????? They had to do the same thing for the computer lab too.

The golden door. I don't trust it.

How/why the heck did Noelle and Berdley go into the Computer Lab Dark World? I don't see either of them just walking into pulsing void doors without Susie.

Apparently the knight has been gone for a bit and can corrupt people's minds? The king in the first chapter doesn't seem like he can be redeemed but Queen just seems,,, not bad, but a little crazy. I wonder what happened.

Then again, name ONE person in this franchise without trauma.

Spamton.

Horror doesn't bother me. Spamton? Spamton bothers me.

SPAMTON. ENOUGH SAID.

A Kromer is a type of hat invented in the '70s. Nobody named Mike is associated with it, that I can find.

SPAMPTON. HOW DO I EVEN DESCRIBE IT.

HIS SONG IS THE ONLY ONE WITH WORDS.

The way he asks Kris is they want to be a heart on a chain their whole life. Like, dude, no wonder they were screaming after the fight.

WHERE DID THE YELLOW HEART COME FROM. YELLOW MEANS JUSTICE. WHY DOES JUSTICE APPLY.

Kris screaming after the fight and the player not being able to hear it. Don't you dare tell me that's just how the game is designed. There are sound effects characters make throughout the game. None that I can think of apply to Kris, apart from when they rip their soul out.

Ralsei brushing off the Spamton fight. Either that's his coping mechanism or he was trying to shut Susie and Kris up to protect them from... something. I'll touch on that in a minute.

According to Queen, DETERMINATION is a key factor in creating a fountain.

Also according to Queen, Kris, Noelle, and Susie all have DETERMINATION SOULS.

Ralsei freaking out about Berdley making a fountain implies that he may also have DETERMINATION. Why I'm bringing all this up will make sense soon.

How was Noelle able to cast Snowgrave... a spell that she, according to her, didn't know?

The Snowgrave route is so twisted.

You manipulate Noelle into killing Berdley and then, when you get back to the computer lab and investigate his corpse, the text box says that he doesn't seem to be awake. As if you're in denial?

Burgerpants recognizes you. Not Kris. As in the player.

The ending. I don't think I need to describe it. Kris is very methodical without the SOUL. (I say "the" because, again, I'm not 100% convinced it's theirs.) I'm saying this about how they left clues that someone broke into the This proves that they are NOT a mindless, vengeful husk.

HOW DID THEY MAKE THE FOUNTAIN WITHOUT THE SOUL INSIDE OF THEM. DID THEY FEED THE SOUL TO IT AFTERWARDS? IS THAT WHAT THAT WAS?

Another point I would like to make is my theory that Ralsei knows much more than he would have us believe. I might put this into a different post because I have yet to gather my points into a coherent bullet point list, so keep an eye out for that.

Anyway apart from Toriel and Susie being VERY heavy sleepers, I think I've gone through everything. I have a few theories.

1. Kris is possessed by the player and figured out that they could make a fountain from Queen and related to Spamton freaking out about freedom. They then decided to make a fountain going by the logic that "this would tick the player off." This is one of my top theories that assumes that the SOUL is theirs.

And 2. Kris is possessed by both the player and the knight. I think the formless voice at the very beginning of the game is the knight, and they somehow needed the player to possess someone with DETERMINATION. If so, then why Kris? We know from Queen that Noelle and Susie, and maybe even Berdley also have DETERMINATION. The most plausible thing I can think of is the fact that human souls are stronger than monster ones.

I do think that the popular theory (about the one that suggests that the Dark Word is nothing but a figment of a child's imagination, and the events that occur in said Dark World are simply children playing with toys) has been thoroughly dashed due to Berdley's murder in the genocide route of the second chapter. Unless he's not dead. Regardless, how the events (or lack thereof) that occur in the second chapter play through the next will be interesting, especially considering Toby's announcement about how there will be one ending to the game. So either Berdley isn't dead, or he will be.

Aaaand I think that's it! Sorry for the long post; let me know your thoughts and if I missed anything!

[hanjizung]

♡ Dreamy Welcome. ♡

Lee Minho x Reader.

Word count:  4.4K

♡ Warnings ♡: SMUT; (mentions of) orgasm control, fingering, masturbation, (a bit of) exhibitionism, creampie, breeding kink, basically just love making, pet names.

Hello! im back with another request from when i reblogged this promp list ! [8) “If you’re going to act like a little brat then I’m going to treat you like a little brat.”] hope you enjoy!

You had been missing Minho a lot since he went on tour, missed everything about him; his voice, his laugh, his smile, the way he called your name, how he hugged you and kissed you on the forehead after teasing you… His whole absence felt weird, it wasn’t killing you but you missed him a lot, you needed him back as soon as possible.

There was an unwritten list of things you wanted to do with him once he was back; first you had to hug him, tell him how much you had missed him while kissing his face and making him feel a little shy from all the affection you were giving him in front of his members, then you would steal him and take him to your house for a movie night where the only thing you would actually focus on is going to be take care of him, massage him if he wants, play with his hair and cuddle with him on your couch until he fell asleep, and the last thing on your list was to make him fuck you senseless.

Of course the two of you had the occasional phone sex, it was mostly him hiding in the bathroom between practices and telling you to touch yourself for him, moaning his name but never cumming, because he said that he wanted you to cum on his cock, he wanted to be the one to give you an orgasm that would have you seeing stars.

That was the promise he made during one of those calls late at night that had you feeling needy and in not a very good mood for the next day, it made you feel frustrated that you stayed always at the edge, but you were equally proud that you hadn’t broken his one rule.

The day he called you and told you with a happy voice that his last concert was in 3 more nights and that in two days after that you would be able to see him, you exploded. When you went to work you got asked multiple times what had happened that you couldn't stop smiling, making you laugh and lie to them that you were just excited for something that happened to one of your cousins or something like that.

It was a more contrastive mood than how you behaved last week, bags under your eyes, eyes semi closed from how tired you were and not so happy because your beautiful boyfriend required a session of self love where he got to edge you multiple times. Twice, to be more precise, the sudden change surprised everyone at your workplace. You seemed more energetic and focused, you did all your work with a smile on your face and you sang during your break when you ate.

You asked your boss if you could leave earlier one day, and seeing how competent you were behaving he accepted, wishing you good luck and telling you that he expected you to stay working as efficiently as possible and that he was happy with your work pace. You simply nodded, not hearing much of his speech because everything that was in your mind was your beautiful boyfriend.

Days passed quickly and you found yourself showering at 4 am to be able to go and receive your boyfriend and the rest of your friends in time. You would be done getting ready at 5, then had to get a taxi to the airport and then you would be able to spend the day with all of them, just like you wanted.

The early morning was cold, and you were thankful that you decided to wear an appropriate coat to protect yourself from the weather. You placed your hands together out of nervousness, anticipating the moment that all of them would arrive, walking through their fans and following the staff to where their vans were parked.

True… you couldn't run to Minho and wrap your arms around him. You had to keep the black mask above your nose and the dark glasses to avoid raising suspicion and pretend to be another staff member. Your relationship was a secret…

Sighing, a plane finally landed and the giant bodyguards that you sometimes brought candies to started walking towards it, you running not too far from them and breathing in to try and control your excitement, failing momentarily when you saw a group of men walk out followed by some other people close behind them. You recognized each one of your friends as soon as they walked out, they wore comfortable clothes and they seemed to be needing some more rest.

The real staff instructed them to go to the previously prepared cars, and you rushed to find your dance machine boyfriend.

You waited for Changbin, Jisung and Seungmin to get inside the car, Minho noticed you and he got in, waiting for you to close the door after you hopped in to hug you and pull you close to him in a loving manner. In the front seats, there was one of the bodyguards and the designated driver. You snuggled closer to Minho, he whispered "I missed you a lot" for you to hear only and he kissed your forehead gently, making you feel incredibly happy.

Not even 10 minutes inside the car, and soft snores could be heard, Minho's weight felt heavy in your side, but you didn't care, you were happy knowing that from that day he would get to rest for a long period of time, and you expected to spend a lot of time with him.

The stillness of the car made you open your eyes, rubbing them to get accustomed to the sun rays filters through the clear front window and you realized that you had finally arrived at the dorms. The bodyguard opened the door for you, giving you his hand to help you out. You shook Minho gently to help him wake up, yawning when he looked at you with disoriented eyes, and then you took the waiting hand to wait for them outside.

When all of them were outside the car, you helped them walk to their corresponding dorm, helping Minho walk with closed eyes because he wasn't fully awake, and when you finally got to your destination, the door was unlocked and there was a mountain of baggage and bags ready to unpack, but that would be a problem for later. In the kitchen, sitting with his laptop in front of him was Chan, he gave a low "good mornin" when he saw who had arrived, continuing to do whatever it was that he had on display in the screen in front of him. You nodded, silently greeting him and then walked to Minho's shared room. He plopped down on his bed, moving and patting the side next to him for you to lay down next to him, and you did.

"I missed you" you whispered, burying your face in his chest and hugging him tightly, making him chuckle quietly.

"I missed you too, hot stuff" he whispered back, looking down at you and patting your back gently.

The two of you stayed like that, there was no need to speak any more words, you were finally holding him, you were finally in his arms and you felt so loved. This was your safe place.

With those thoughts in your head, you dozed off again, your breathing almost syncing with Minho's steady one.

You had a beautiful dream with him, it started with you sitting on the porch of your childhood home observing the street until a younger looking Minho appeared and took your hand. He guided you to the insides of the place that used to be your home. He kissed you playfully at first, then he took your face with his hand and held you in place as the heat of the kiss increased and moments later he was eating you out in the kitchen aisle.

You were enjoying the dream probably a little too much, because you were woken up suddenly by your boyfriend's hands on your shoulder, moving you gently to bring you back to the real world.

"Seems like you had an interesting dream, didn't you?" he said. You blushed, hitting him gently on his chest and groaning.

"Maybe I wouldn't dream such things if someone," you shoot him a glare "didn't get me all worked up and then didn't allow me to cum" you complained, making him laugh. You were daring him, and you knew that, but you needed to know how much he would wait until he finally gave you what you wanted and fucked you hard like he'd done before he left.

"Oh, really, baby? It's my fault, then?" he asked. You pouted and nodded, looking at him with needy eyes. "Then I must do something to reward you for being so good, right?" his hand snaked on your tummy, getting to the edge of your shirt and going under it until it reached your breast.

His hand squeezed you, gaining a sigh from you. Two of his fingers played with your nub moment later, he shifted so he would be on his side and able to play with you, his lips finding a home in your neck and kissing you lazily, the caress of his lips against your skin and the sensation of him teasing your nipoles felt amazing, it was enough for you to start getting wet and your breathing to turn irregular, but all that ended when Jisung shamelessly opened the door.

"Hey guys, who's awake already? Does anyone wanna watch a movie?" he asked no one in particular, Minho's movement stopped and his arm quickly moved to wrap around your waist, his head fell against his pillow and you closed your eyes again to pretend to still be asleep. It was almost as if nothing between the two of you had happened, which would actually seem like it were true if both your hearts weren't racing from almost being caught.

You heard movement from the other side of the room, you recognized Hyunjin's steps passing through the door accompanied with a humm and later Seungmin's voice was heard, answering Jisung who was still standing by the entrance.

"I'm kinda hungry. I'll join if we order something to eat" he said, the sound of feet against the floor letting you know he was ready to leave the room.

"Sure, let's try to convince Chan to pay," Jisung responded, waiting for Seungmin to walk with him to the living room, but when Seungmin reached him, Jisung didn't move. "Shouldn't we wake Minho and ask him if he wants something as well?"

"Nah, he stayed up the whole flight I think, and besides, he's with Y/N. Let's order something for them and let them sleep," Seungmin said, his tired voice making it clear that he didn't want to deal with trying to wake Minho up.

The answer seemed to be enough for Jisung, and the two of them left, closing the door behind them. Just then, you allowed yourself to sigh in relief.

Next to you, Minho rolled on his side, his back now at you making you confused. "What are you doing?" you asked.

"You heard them, they think we're asleep, so we might go back to sleep again, don't you think?" he responded, his tone still low. You whined, hugging his whole body as best as you could, your mouth reaching his ear to whisper to him:

"But I'm so wet… are you really going back to sleep and leave me like this?" you cried to him, you knew he could feel you putting on the tone of voice you decided to use, but he didn't say anything, so you tried your luck again.

"Please, if you're not going to fuck me at least finger me, I've missed you so much… I've been waiting for you to use me for so long" you continued, begging with a low voice and pressing your lips against the shell of his ear, starting a trail of kisses down all the uncovered skin you could see, high diving yourself in your mind when you felt him shiver under your touch.

Minho finally sighed, giving in and turning so now he would be facing you, your eyes almost shone when his right hand went to your hip and his face got closer to yours to steal a passionate kiss that you now would end up making you feel like the world was spinning.

You couldn't help the giggle that escaped your lips when both of you tried to recuperate your normal breathing, drawing a raised eyebrow from your boyfriend. You simply took his face with both of your hands and started kissing him again, suddenly one of your hands leaving his cheek to guide the hand resting on your hip to where you needed him most. If he noticed, he had been nice enough to not say anything.

Or that's what you thought, because then he broke the kiss and growled quietly, his fingers playing with the button of your jeans until he was able to open them and he wasted no more time, his slender digit slipping past your underwear and feeling all the wetness between your legs.

"Oh, Y/N, you're so fucking wet, kitten" he muttered. His hand moved away from where you wanted it to be, making you complain and furrow your eyebrows while he showed you his glistening finger before guiding it to your lips for you to lick it clean yourself. Minho rolled his eyes when you grabbed his hand and made it touch you again, you didn't care how needy you seemed, everything you could think of was how much you'd love for him to rail you.

His fingers started working on you, slowly caressing your clit and gathering your essence before he entered you, making you sigh. He was staring at you, silently admiring your features that showed just how good he was making you feel. You weren't looking at him, your eyes closed as you tried to focus on the way he was making you feel, but you didn't need to see him to know how much he was grinning, proud to have you biting your lip to not moan too loud. At some point your breathing got heavier and your legs started to tremble, the last signal meaning that you were close was when your walls embraced his fingers, your mouth opened as you found home in the ecstasy-like sensation, Minho tried to prolong it by over stimulating you.

After a moment, he finally removed his fingers from your inside and licked it clean from your juices while you recovered.

"Was that better?" he asked, gaining a humming from you as an answer.

"It was good, but I still want you to fuck me" you finally said, pouting. He opened his eyes wide, as if he was actually surprised, and said:

"You're so greedy, my needy baby wants something else besides my fingers, huh? Go clean yourself and let's go to your house then. I'll give you the best welcome back fuck of your life" he kissed your forehead, waiting for you to stand up after you heard what he said.

"Really?" you asked, full of hope. He nodded, and you almost jumped from the bed to run to the bathroom, standing in front of the door fixing your jeans before walking out the room, remembering that you weren't alone.

You made your way silently to the bathroom, saving your hand at Jeongin who apparently had gone to his room for something and happened to find you on his journey to go back to the living room. He seemed tired, as if he hadn't fully tested, but his memory worked just fine because before you entered the bathroom he told you that they were going to watch a movie and had called for some takeout food for everyone. You thanked him and got inside to do what you had to do.

An hour later, you found yourself cuddling Mingo on the only individual couch after eating and watching a comedy with the rest of the members. Some were on their phone, some still eating and others were cuddling just like you were. It was a relaxed night, and you were having a good time, but the words Minho had told you earlier resonated in your head and your pussy was louder than your heart, screaming at you to act out and make Minho take you home to complete his promise.

Covered with a blanket, your hand snaked down his form and entered his joggers, feeling up his cock. You weren't looking at him to know his reaction, but he quickly squeezed you as a warning to not continue your devilish plans.

You didn't care, continuing to tease him until he got hard enough and that's when you pressed yourself against him. He sighed, but pushed himself against you almost as if encouraging you to keep going.

"Stop, Y/N. We'll leave after the movie is over" he whispered, trying to get you to reason with him.

The answer he got was you pulling his joggers and boxers down with one hand carefully, freeing his hardened cock from its prison and wrapping your hand around him, making him hiss. One of his hands went to your neck, pulling your head back to tell you one last thing.

“Kitten, if you’re going to act like a little brat then I’m going to treat you like a little brat when we get to your house" he murmured, quiet enough for you to listen to his words only.

If you were going to be punished, you might as well continue what you started.

Minho's hold on you tightened when he realized that you had set your mind on torturing him, you knew the risk of possibly getting caught was high and that it made everything way more exciting, but all your tries at being subtle and not drag any attention to the both of you were affecting him horribly. He hated how you ceased all movement when someone shifted or how you tensed when everyone stopped talking was like pure hell for Minho.

His cock twitched, and he faked a yawn to hide the noise that came out of him. You took advantage of it, and played along with it.

"Oh, you're still tired? We should go back to your room so you can sleep, don't you think?" you whispered, long enough for the rest of the members to hear.

Minho caught up with what you were doing, faking another yawn and hugging your body as if you were a plushie. He nodded, and you fixed his clothes quickly so the two of you could stand up.

Minho had other plans, and stood up with you in his arms, the blanket covering his boner. Everyone's eyes were on you two, so you said goodnight and entered the shared room again. Once inside, he didn't even turn the light on, walking straight to the bed after closing the door and dropping you there.

"I can't believe you're making me break Chan's 'no fucking in the dorms' rule" he said, taking his shirt off. You laughed, starting to undress as well.

"As if you really cared about rules" you said, opening your arms for him when you and him were finally fully naked.

"You're right, I only care about you and fucking you. You'll get your punishment later" he replied, hovering over you and positioning his member at your entrance, pressing your foreheads together as he slowly entered you. He kissed you before he started slamming into you, trying to maintain your moans to a minimum so the whole 'going to sleep' act could still be believable to your friends.

With your arms thrown around his neck and your legs hugging his waist, you felt the happiest, like you were in heaven. Finally, Minho was filling you with his cock, making you feel like he was the missing piece in your life that left a hole in your constant day to day with his sole absence, but now he was back, fucking you, kissing you; loving you, and it made your head and your heart swim with happiness, because he was back and you would have him like before he left.

He was thrusting you carefully, slowly but not too much to make you feel bored or annoy you, it was almost the right speed to make the moment last longer, a try to be more passionate with you. Minho's grunts and your heavy breathing were all you cared about, you forgot about everything outside the door, but the way your reasonable side made you moan quietly still brought a sense of reality to you, you whimpered and opened your mouth to exhale, his own breathing on your face making you open your eyes to look at him while he kept working, rocking his hips against yours and trying to make you cum for the second time of the day.

"I love you" you told him quietly, looking up at his sweaty face and pulling him in by his neck to kiss him lovingly like you meant to do when you saw him coming out of the plane.

Minho smiled against your lips, allowing his weight to fall on you and support himself on his left elbow, using his right hand to caress your cheek and move a strand of your hair that had gotten on your face so he could admire you better. When he finished the kiss, you thought he would return to the old position, supporting himself with both arms, but he didn't and instead he started kissing your whole face, making you giggle and close your eyes, with each kiss he left on your face you could say he tried to speed up to finally make you reach your well deserved orgasm, everything in that moment felt so intimate, and the addition of the kisses on your face and him gently cupping your cheek let you know this wasn't simple fucking anymore.

You would make a disgusted face at how cheesy it sounded, but in that very moment you couldn't describe the intimate activity as anything else than love making.

It wouldn't be the first time that Minho treats you as gentle as this, but something… felt different. You couldn't quite tell what it was, maybe because it had been months since you were with him, or because you missed him so much, but the ambient felt more mature in the aspect that you knew that his sweet whispers praising you and reminding you that he loved you as well and that you meant so much to him were not just words.

You wanted to cry, but you knew this wasn't the moment, your quiet moans mixed with giggles and adoring smiles disappeared when the new hard thrusting made your walls tighten around Minho's cock, and without any advice you came. You knew that there was a high percentage that the boys already knew what the two of you were up to thanks to the cracking of the bed and the specific noise of skin slapping sounds, but you still wanted to try and drown your moans to simulate that you were sleeping.

"Ah, baby…" Minho grunted, his face hiding in the crook of your neck to then whisper to you "I'm gonna cum…" followed by the twitching of his cock inside you.

"C-cum inside me, fill me up" you said back, your broken voice and tucked out features when he moved to see you being all he needed to release his seed inside you.

The warm sensation of his semen flowing in you made you smile, and your panting boyfriend pulled out of you to take the tissues box he hid under his bed for all occasions.

You looked at him when he kneeled in front of you to clean you, knowing how tired he actually was by the way his eyes were closing, and you appreciated how he still worried to clean you and not let you all sticky, very sweet of him.

The two of you dressed up lazily, this time laying in bed to sleep like you had said that you would do some time ago.

"I'm so happy you're back, I really missed you" you whispered, your hand resting flat on his chest as you listened to his heart beating under you.

"I'm glad to be back as well, kitten. I thought I would go crazy if I spent more days without seeing you" he joked, patting your head with his hand.

"Let's not think about it now, I had a hard time without cumming when you weren't here" he laughed at your words responding by squeezing you a bit.

"Well, if you're going to be this needy every time I come back, I don't mind leaving you as much" he said back, tone so serious that it scared you.

"You're not being serious, right?" you moved, looking at his face. He had his eyes closed, but the faint shadow of a smile creeping on his lips. He opened them to look at you before he answered you.

"Of course not, kitten. The last thing I want is to be away from you, it's so hard to be far from you when I love you this much" he finally said, making you sigh in relief and your heart throb inside your chest.

"It's not my fault that you love me so much, you're only guilty for making me love you so bad" you smiled, going back to resting on his chest.

"Shhh, you know, that I'm the best that's happened in your life, but we can talk about how awesome I am later, now sleep. I promise I'll be here when you wake up" he moved, shifting to press a kiss on your forehead.

"I hope so, you promised me the fuck of my life when we go to my house and I can't wait for that" you laughed, poking his side.

"We'll see when tomorrow comes, but sleep first. Good night, baby, I love you."

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Ocean Eyes - Part 13

A/N - OMG finally an update!!! I'm so sorry it has taken me so long but writers block is a bitch! Thank you all for sticking with me and being so patient 💕💕💕 Please like/comment/reblog.

"CHRIS EVANS HAS A SECRET FAMILY!"

Shit, shit. Shit! Oh my fuck this can't be happening!! I thought to myself as i clicked on the link Hannah had sent me, the page loaded showing photo's of Chris and I kissing, photo's of Chris and Mason...... my heart was racing and i could feel the panic setting in.

"Fucking Brian!" I mumbled, this was taken the day i saw his car outfront! I got up and made my way to Chris' office, i needed to let him know about this ASAP incase he was suddenly blind sided with a question while doing his interview.

As soon as i appeared in the doorway Chris looked up and gave me a little smile that soon fell when he saw the tears in my eyes.

"Im so sorry but can you just excuse me for two seconds..... i'll be right back" Chris said leaving Scott talking to Jimmy Fallon.

"Whats wrong?....." he asked quietly pulling the door closed behind him.

"Im so sorry Chris....." i shook my head.

"Why? Whats happened?...."

I passed him my phone showing him the headline and photo's "Everyone knows, I'm so sorry! This is all my fault...." i started to cry, this isn't how i wanted everyone to find out... we weren't ready for everyone to know yet!!

"Hey stop! This isn't your fault sweetheart!" Chris wrapped his arms around me "come on don't cry, i hate it when you cry".

"Im so mad Chris!...they have no right posting photo's of Mason!"

"Let me just go finish up this interview, i'll be two minutes" he kissed me before rushing back to finish up with Jimmy.

After Chris had finished up his interview he was calling his publicist Megan, he already had missed calls from her so she had obviously heard what was going on. An hour later she was sat on the sofa across from us listening to the whole story.

"I want those photo's of my son taken down now! They can't post photo's of my 6 year old for everyone to see!" Chris was yelling as he paced the room.

"I've already put in a call and told them to take it down, but you know its gonna be out there now....you can't hide from this Chris"

"I know but.... fuck! We didn't want Mason in the public eye..... he's just a kid!"

"I get it, they should have at least blurred his face in the shots, most tabloids do nowadays unless the parents give consent but this particular tabloid that published the story, they're not one of the big names so they're more interested in their 5 minutes of fame with this exclusive"

"Brian did this. He did it to hurt me, its not even about the money! He could've sold the story to one of the big tabloids and got a payout..." i shook my head "the guy is crazy! I wasn't even dating him!"

"We're gonna try and do something about him too, leave it with me" Megan gave me a small smile while writing something in her notebook "So, you should probably post something on your socials.... clear up the gossip. Usually id say don't react to this but we need to do some damage control because right now, i guarantee all people are thinking is either you've been an absentee father with no interest in your son for the past six years" she said looking to Chris "or you'll be public enemy number one for keeping Chris's son from him" she looked over to me and i lowered my head in shame, i had done that..... i had my reasons but i did it all the same.

"So what do we say?" I asked quietly as Chris came and sat beside me taking my hand.

"We say that even though the two of you haven't been together romantically up until now, you have been raising your son together but chose to keep him out of the public eye"

"I'll put something together for you to look over, make sure you think its okay" Chris told her.

"I know this isn't great but we can handle this"

"Thank you Megan".

Over the next couple of days things gradually calmed down, Chris had posted a simple statement which i was told to post too even though my accounts were private to friends only, he didn't go into much detail but confirmed that we do have a son together and asked for our privacy to be respected.

His fans had actually been amazing and so supportive, of course there were a few saying some not so nice things about me and Mason but we knew that would happen. The tabloid stories quickly disappeared regarding Mason when other celebrities started posting, calling the tabloids out for not respecting our privacy after we had made it clear we didn't want our son in the spotlight.

But i still had this constant pit in my stomach, a feeling that things would still get worse before they went back to normal.

I was currently laid on the bed next to a basket of laundry that needed folding and putting away, I had retreated upstairs with the excuse of doing laundry while Chris, Scott and Mason were out back playing some game. The truth was i just needed some alone time, i was tired of putting on a brave and happy face, pretending like everything was fine. My hands massaged my temples trying to shift the dull headache that seemed like a constant thing lately.

"Hey, you okay?" The sound of Chris's voice from the door way made me crack open an eye to look at him.

"Yeah, headache is all"

"You've been up here a while, i got worried"

"I was doing laundry i told you....."

"You mean the laundry still sitting next to you?" He teased with a raised eyebrow.

"Yep, i started then i got a headache. I just need a few minutes" i said quietly closing my eyes again.

"Sweetheart you know you can talk to me, you don't have to act like everything is fine....."

"Yes i do, if i don't I'm gonna loose it and i can't do that with Mason around".

I felt the bottom of the bed dip and opened my eyes to see Chris crawling up the bed towards me, he moved my legs so his upper body was resting between them as he pressed kisses to my T-shirt covered stomach.

"What are you doing?" I shook my head and chuckled at the playful look he had on his face.

"Trying to cheer you up, maybe help you forget for a while" he smirked pushing my T-shirt up more so he could kiss my bare skin this time.

"Is now really the time for that? Mason is awake downstairs...."

"Its the perfect time for that, Scott will keep Mason busy"

"You dont know that....."

Chris quickly pulled his phone from his pocket and tapped quickly on the screen before tossing it aside.

"Done, no distractions" he laughed.

"Oh god please don't tell me you told Scott why?"

"Of course not but he's not stupid"

"This is a bad idea..... we said slow...."

"This is slow, i just wanna make you feel better. Plus you know orgasm's are supposed to help with headaches" he shrugged with that cocky grin.

"Oh really? Is that right?"

"100%" he nodded making us both laugh, he reached for my shorts and starting to pull the them down my legs...

"Wait!" I said suddenly sitting up to look at him making him groan as he looked back at me from between my legs.

"What?"

"Lock the door would ya?" I giggled throwing myself back down on the bed shaking my head as he leapt from the bed and flipped the lock.

"Now where were we?" He said before crawling back into position.....this was a bad idea.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier @fairlightswiftly @hiddelstannerbarnes @bellamy-barnes @buchanansebba @rosalynshields @turtoix @dottirose

Ocean eyes: @supraveng @michelehansel @melissaglenn5 @denisemarieangelina

@mrsjeffwittek @mery-be @marvelfansworld @cmalass @capstopavenger @fallenoutofrose @kelbabyblue @biebsmylife95 @loser-alert @traceyaudette @w3lissax @jennmurawski13 @ford66steal @saiyanprincessswanie @christocrave

@jakiki94 @torntaltos @my-dearest-agent @ms-betsy-fangirl

[squid--inc--writes]

Inktober 2019 day 2: mindless. Art + story.

Update: Masterlist

Warning for gore, tell me if there's anything else to tag. Also, message me, or reblog this and and say tag me, if you want to be able to read my Inktober stories, and see my art.

The day they came, the strange folk, was the day everything changed. Of course, cliche as that is, and, frankly, obvious in that anything new will make change happen. But that doesn't matter.

It started with a family of five, all seemed normal enough, a nuclear family model, really. They made friends, had parties, all that suburban crap. 

However, they always seemed off. Maybe it was the way how, when asked a question, or presented with a decision, it was always a blink, then an answer. Never more, never less. I brought it up to other people, my parents, my friends, anyone. No one seemed to think anything of it. Which is fair, I guess. It's inconsequential, right?

However, one day, that family of five turned into a family of four. I asked what happened to their baby. I know my friend Cami would babysit for them when they were away, and she'd gush about how they were. They said they only had their two sweet babies here, and gestured to their kids playing in the pool with some other kids.

I knew Cami was upset the first time she came back home, wondering what could have possibly happened. But after a party two days later, she didn't even seem to remember the third kid. Like it never happened.

About four days after, I could tell something was wrong. See, a few of the neighbours started acting like them. They'd wait a blink to answer, always cheerful, but never unique. People stopped mowing their lawn, too. Stopped caring.

Only three families left not falling into the trap. The klines two houses down, the Smiths across the street, and us. 

I couldn't parse what we had in common. The Smiths and my family were having plumbing issues, so we couldn't use water. I thought, maybe that's it. But the Klines always have perfect plumbing, so that couldn't be it.

It wasn't until we started seeing the state of the street that my family believed me. Among grass, and litter, there were clumps of hair on the ground. Hair and… other debris. And the smell, God the smell. Something smelled rotten, and fermented. I could barely go outside anymore. When I did, I'd have to cover my face with a cloth doused in my mother's perfume.

Luckily, we didn't go outside much anymore. No one threw parties anymore. In fact, I don't think most people came outside anymore.

When our pipes finally got fixed, that was when I knew we fucked up. I got up in the middle of the night, woken up by loud noises. I followed them down to the basement, hiding at the top of the stairs, behind the door. I opened the door just a little, and looked through. There was mom, holding my unconscious sister. Dad was holding a tool I didn't recognize. It became quickly apparent what it was, as it sliced through her skin, expertly flaying it from the muscle below. It peeled away, like an orange. Hair falling out in clumps. She didn't even wake up. I don't know if that's good or bad. I hope she wasn't awake at least.

Dad set down the… the thing. And he walked to the sink next to the laundry machine. That's when the stench hit me. Once he turned on the tap, something disgusting, the same as outside, only ten times more concentrated came out. The water looked fine, though. He took a long swig of water, then turned, and handed to my mother.

 She stood, and said, "I'll go get Joanna."

With that, I didn't bother shutting the door. I just slunk away, as fast as possible, far away from the stairs. I know she hesitated, noticing the door was slightly open. They had to know. So I got out the back door, didn't bother closing it, and ran. Didn't go around front, I risked walking through the backyard behind us. Brandy Jefferson lived there. Or she used to. 

I snuck through, trying not to trip anything, when I wound up kicking something sticky, and soft. It blew up around my foot, I slid, slamming my back on the ground, and lay there in silent pain.

I looked at the mess, now staining me. Dark, viscous, and mushy below me. I thanked whoever I could when I looked, and saw that it was a very old pumpkin. Very, very old. And, hilariously, smelled better than the air around me.

I crawled my way up to my feet, and once again thanked whatever entity saw it fit to make my escape a little easier. The grass, which grew unnaturally tall, over my head, and the fence between our yards, his my escape, from my mother, who was now calling out for me.

I moved as silently as possible, making my way around the yard, and coming it to the side of the street. My decision to stay in the grass was probably the only thing that kept me from getting grabbed.

Walking before me, I saw the street filled to bursting with disgusting, pale, almost translucent skinned beings. They all also had thick dark lines around their eyes, almost like veins, but like a new system was trying to work its way through the body, rather than accept the old routes. The smell was more pungent here, than before.

I have to cover my mouth and nose, and I feel my eyes watering.

Making my way past the parade of sickness, I weave my way through yards until I wind up across from the Klines. I glance down to where the Smiths should be, and notice that their lawn has been overgrown, despite it being nice and neat only a few days earlier. I peak around and see, despite having been immaculate not ten minutes ago, my home is overgrown as well. The only clean yard is the Klines. However, in order to make it there, I'd have to get across the street, then their yard, and pray that they would let me in. And that they were fine too. All without being seen. 

I can still hear my name being called, but it's getting further, and further away. Hopefully. So, I brace myself, take in as much air as I can without gagging, and I bolt across the street.

Someone had to have seen me in the house, because the door opens, and I sprinted in, not stopping, and slam in the wall a short distance from the entrance. The door slams shut behind me, and I feel a large, sharp object pointed at me. Mrs. Kline is staring down at me, eyeing me.

She says, "You alright?"

I stare at her, eyes wide, before I start just sobbing. I'm not really sure if it was from terror, exhaustion, or what, but I just sob.

I distantly hear a lock, and Mrs. Kline yells "Bill, get some blankets and the first aid kit."

Sitting up, I look and see the Kline kids. I never actually learned their names, cause they were homeschooled and only went outside on rare occasions. I feel bad about never saying hi.

Once they look me over, I learn their names. Bill Kline, the father, Angela Kline, the mother, and their, turns out three kids, are Betty and Beatrice, identical twins, and Carlisle, the eldest daughter.

I wind up moving in with them, discovering that they have an underground farm, essentially. It's a good thing the HOA isn't around anymore. The amount of readjusted pipes, or purification system thrown in. Even their own electric supply. It seems almost too good to be true.

Which is why I, stupidly, stopped trusting them. Which is why I, in the dead of night, left the house, and, with no key, did not lock it.

Which is why I was the death of the Klines. They could have been evil, they could have been good, but I never gave them a chance to prove it. Although, they already did so much for me.

So, on that night, I checked the street, closed the door, and snuck into another yard, having stolen a good amount of water and food. I thought I would be in the clear, but I should have known better.

I tried to leave the neighborhood, but it seemed to go on. Endless. What I finally realized was that, while it wasn't endless, it was being made to be. 

Buildings torn down to be made into houses. It got to a point where, although there were plenty of similarities, it was eerily different. Just enough, in just the right ways, that it was concerning.

I finally gave up on reaching the end. I knew I wouldn't be able to get past whoever was building it. How could I? Instead, I climbed a roof, in the dead of night, after days of walking, and tried to see anything.

At the center of the strange design being built with the houses, I saw it. The water processing plant. I could feel a bad idea rising.

Making my way there, sleeping in the grass during the day, and walking, walking, walking during the night. I still saw them, but none of them veered off course.

They would flood the streets after sunrise, and be gone before the afternoon. They would then return before sunset, and stay in their homes. the lawns weren't as safe as I'd like, but they'd have to do.

However, as time progressed, and I ran out of food, I could have sworn the sky was changing. While the time of day would be easily clear to see, there was a rolling smog that began to fill the sky. It made everything darker, easier to hide, but harder to breathe.

When I finally got to the center, that smell that I had gotten so used to, increased tenfold; so thick that I could bite a chunk out of the air, if I wanted to puke.

Fueled by the thought that, perhaps, there will be a section where maybe I can get clean water. Maybe I didn't ruin my chance.

That thought changed however, when I saw the hanging bodies of the Klines. Not flayed like everyone else, no.

Solid, bloody. I couldn't tell how they were hung there, but I could see stretched skin behind each of them. Not wanting to look any longer, I shifted my gaze. There, in the center of the pool, was a small bundle of sludge, pulsating, and whining.

I stepped forward, pulled by an unseen force, and crouch by the side of the water. Well, it looked like it once was.once close enough, it screamed out, the sound of a baby having a temper tantrum, but louder. Always more than what it should be, I couldn't stand it.

Covering my ears, and clenching my eyes shut, I didn't feel the push, but I certainly felt the fall. Then I didn't feel anything. I didn't think anything. My mind uploaded somewhere else, as a freak experiment, and my body…

My body left mindless.

[aridangiab]

I posted 1,022 times in 2021

7 posts created (1%)

1015 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 145.0 posts.

I added 12 tags in 2021

#mythoughts - 3 posts

#fullmoon - 1 posts

#flowers - 1 posts

#aesthetic - 1 posts

#feelingblue - 1 posts

#me - 1 posts

#exerpts from my journal - 1 posts

#i wanna start writing here more often - 1 posts

#since i've been so out of touch with writing - 1 posts

#womp - 1 posts

Longest Tag: 44 characters

#since i've been so out of touch with writing

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

These were fun to make and delightful to eat with family and friends!

2 notes • Posted 2021-03-23 12:21:54 GMT

#4

5 notes • Posted 2021-03-06 00:08:11 GMT

#3

My realizations...come so late? I suppress them because I "can't bother" addressing them, but when I'm ready a whole year later I'll finally be like "ah so I was being used in x manner and therefore feeling y emotion" "oh no wonder he feels this way" "damn I really be bending my back for this" "but I wasn't really happy with that tho" "I'm sacrificing my values for this??" "I easily could have won that argument had I chosen to fight" "I was such a coward during x" "woops that was a huge blunder" "maybe I should have done y".

AND THEY HIT ALL AT ONCE idgi is it immaturity from my part or am I neglecting my processing skills lololol

Maybe it really is "I can't bother"....cuz I know my actual priorities in life are elsewhere. But I can't continue to ignore things that matter in the long-term at the cost of my self-preservation now, can I?

Well, the more you know. Better late than never.

7 notes • Posted 2021-07-02 03:12:22 GMT

#2

It's those...things that are mundane for everyone that I've made special to myself. Like running to Tim's during break. Being offered a snack and sharing my own. Getting down all class notes without zoning out and finding pen marks for scars littering my hand at the end of the day. Slipping into the comfiest clothes in preparation for a long day. Leisure banter with family, goofing around with friends. Respecting and being respected. Getting my portion of Quran done after Fajr, just in time to squeeze in a bit of sleep before class. A phonecall that lasts an hour and regrounds a friendship. The smell of grinding coffee beans while packing my meals.

Those seemingly normal things are exciting to me. Like walking to Subway on a rainy Friday to explore new food with friends. Cracking open a book I bought because this itch of interest just wouldn't go away. A conversation with quality people that's so engaging I just do all the listening. The golden morning sun on the drive to school, and the pink clouds on the drive home. Catching sight of the moon when walking with my brothers. Baking something new. The smell of espresso filling a sleepy classroom. And running to the Chinese grocery store across school to grab some ramen for the weekend.

All these little things, that heal the wounds of grief and death. The self-made support group of little bits of happiness to make up for the lack of support from family and friends when I actually needed it. And even now, when I'm wide awake at night with uncontrollable thoughts and memories about a loved one no longer here on this earth, my heart sinks into a familiar, familiar sea. A sea I once drowned in but now learn to sail through. A sea I occasionally dip into, now that I know how to swim. A sea of bittersweet truth. Of a past so dark and stormy I could not bear to look ahead.

Whether happy or sad, my soul does not fit in this earth. It wants to go somewhere else.

So remember these. Sweet bits of happiness. And the horrific sadness. I become my own support group as I have my entire life. Maybe because my soul knows what it's seeing and it trusts that I listen to it. Because it taught me that I'm lonely, but not alone.

- Nadira B.

13 notes • Posted 2021-05-31 02:18:18 GMT

#1

There are poems I've written that I'll never post or share. Journal entries I can't help but skip when reviewing my progress.

They are too raw, too dark, and expose too much of my scars and demons. There's a heaviness with which they cling to my throat when I come across them, neatly handwritten and thinly veiling an anger only I can detect.

Maybe one day when I can smile at those verses instead of freeze, I can show them off to friends disguised as aesthetic angst, and laugh it off with them.

Looking back, it took alot of violence to become gentle.

14 notes • Posted 2021-09-06 16:28:31 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Ocean Eyes - Part 12

A/N - Finally an update!! i promise to not leave it as long for the next part.

Please like/comment/reblog, it gives me incentive to write quicker if i know people are actually enjoying my madness 💕

"You okay?" Chris asked suddenly making me jump, i thought he was asleep! He was currently wrapped around me acting as the big spoon.

"Jesus christ! You scared the crap outta me!" I chuckled quietly feeling stupid that he made me jump so bad.

"Sorry dahlin" he chuckled close to my ear "but are you okay?".

"Yeah just can't sleep, I've got so much going through my head i can't switch off"

"Its not because you're in here with me is it?"

"No of course not, this is actually just what i needed. I've missed laying in your arms...." I had caved and agreed to stay in Chris's room tonight, no funny business just sleeping. I felt Chris smile before pressing a kiss to my neck.

"I've missed this too. So what exactly is it keeping you awake beautiful? Talk to me..."

"Honestly? The whole thing with Brian.... how did he find me here??".

"I have no idea, but its very creepy!.... then again we shouldn't really be surprised, he had a habit of always knowing where you were. I got bad vibes off that guy the second i saw him".

We had called the police to report Brian but they couldn't do much about it as he technically hadn't done anything wrong, they said to call them again if we saw him around anymore.

"I don't understand why he's doing this! Its not like i led him on or anything, I've never shown that man any interest. I barely even talk to the guy!"

"He's clearly unstable"

"It scares me Chris...."

"Hey, i won't let him hurt you.... i already warned him to stay away...." Chris said through gritted teeth.

"What?...."

"It doesn't matter...."

I turned in his arms so i was now facing him "yes it does, what do you mean you warned him to stay away?"

"The day Scott and I came to get you and Mason to bring you here, you remember how he kept going on about where you were going and when you were coming back....then he asked you to dinner?"

"Oh yeah, you kinda snapped"

"Yeah.....I told him nicely to stay away from my family, that you were unavailable and uninterested.... that he should move on. I said if i found out he was harassing you still id make his life hell" he looked a little sheepish as he confessed to what had been said between the two of them.

"Well I'm guessing he didn't like to be told to stay away huh?"

"Apparently not. But lets not worry about  him right now, you need to sleep"

"Ive been trying...."

"Come here" Chris said and rolled onto his back pulling me close until i was laying with my head on his chest, his hand stroking up and down my back. Back strokes were my weakness and he knew it! "You'll be asleep in no time" he mumbled pressing a kiss to the top of my head. And he was right, with the steady thumping of his heart and his fingers stroking my back i was a goner.

I woke up alone, the bed already cold meaning Chris had been gone for a while. I reached for my phone on the bedside cabinet, it was nearly 10am!! I quickly got up and headed to the bathroom to pee and check how bad i looked. Once i was done i headed downstairs to find Chris, Mason and Scott.

"Hey" Chris smiled at me as i entered the kitchen, he was sat at the dining room table in front of his laptop.

"Hey, why didn't you wake me up?"

"You looked too peaceful, besides you didn't get to sleep til late"

I nodded walking over to kiss him "thank you" i smiled running my hand over his bearded jaw "you're the best".

Chris pulled me down into his lap and deepened the kiss until i had to pull back enough to catch my breath and we both laughed.

"Where's Mason?"

"Walking Dodger with Scott, i gave him breakfast and helped him get dressed before they left"

"He wasn't any trouble was he?"

"Not at all. He's like the best behaved kid I've ever met"

"He has his moments don't be fooled" i chuckled thinking back to some tantrums id witnessed over the years.

"I don't believe you, that kid is an angel"

"You just wait and see Evans" i laughed before getting up and walking into the kitchen so i could get a coffee and some toast.

"So um, I've got to do an online interview tonight with Jimmy Fallon" Chris followed me into the kitchen.

"Okay" i nodded.

"I just thought id let you know i'll have to disappear for a while"

"Thats fine, Mason will probably be in bed by then and i'll just stay in the living room watching a movie with Scott"

"Now i feel left out" he pouted.

Later that day we all went outback and played some Wiffle Ball to pass the time, Chris and Scott getting competitive again.

"Mom I'm tired" Mason said wrapping his arms around my waist and cuddling up against me.

"You wanna go take a nap before dinner buddy?"

"Yeah"

"Come on then" i picked him up and he rested his head on my shoulder "guys Mason needs a nap, i think you've worn him out"

"I think i need a nap too!" Scott laughed.

"Well I'm gonna make a start on dinner, you have time for a nap if you wanna"

Walking back up to the house i started struggling with Mason, he was getting too big for me to carry around now! My baby was growing up too fast!

"You want me to take him?" Chris suddenly asked, i nodded and come to a stop before passing a sleeping Mason over to Chris.

"Thanks, he's getting heavy" i said sadly.

"No problem"

"I hate that he's getting too big for me to carry him when he's tired"

"I know but its okay, I'm here to help now"

"Who's gonna carry me? Im exhausted!" Scott added making us laugh quietly so we didn't wake Mason.

The evening flew by, we all had dinner then sat and watched Toy Story with Mason. When it came to bedtime Mason insisted that Chris read him a story and of course he couldn't say no. Once he was asleep Chris headed to his office to get ready for his interview while Scott and I headed to the living room to find a movie to watch.

"Sooooo....." Scott said dragging it out to sound scandalous as he wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"What?"

"What?.... don't you what me Missy! I know you spent the night with Chris! So come on spill the tea sister!"

"You're ridiculous you know that?" I rolled my eyes at him and laughed at how comical he looked right now.

"Like i care" he shrugged "come on! Tell me what happened"

"Sorry to disappoint but nothing happened we just slept"

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, we're taking things slow"

"And who's decision was that?"

"We both said we don't wanna rush it"

"But you suggested it right?..... hey I'm not judging you for that" he quickly added when he saw me look away sadly.

"You're scared you're gonna get hurt again aren't you?"

"Wouldn't you be? I just wanna make sure we're gonna be okay, that its more than just sex. We were always good at that, the emotional stuff.... not so much"

We were halfway through the movie when Chris rushed in asking Scott to join him for a game that Jimmy Fallon wanted them to do.

"Really? I can't just leave Y/N on her own....."

"Go i'll be fine" i chuckled.

"Sorry dahlin, i hate leaving you on your own.... we wont be long though 15/20 minutes tops.

"Go do what you gotta do, I'm fine here watching this" i nodded to the TV.

While they were off doing the interview

I texted my mom and Hannah to check in, they were doing good all things considered. I quickly settled back in to watch the rest of the movie but was interrupted again by multiple message alerts on my phone. I looked to see it was Hannah blowing up my phone.

When i opened the thread i gasped, my heart was racing so fast.... i felt sick as my eyes landed on one thing in particular....... the headline!

"CHRIS EVANS HAS A SECRET FAMILY!"

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier @fairlightswiftly @hiddelstannerbarnes @bellamy-barnes @buchanansebba @rosalynshields

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