#i'll fix my blog more soon! also hi good morning

[astrxealis]

i have a granblue fantasy sideblog (kinda inactive), a final fantasy xiv blog (still a wip) ... maybe i should make a milgram sideblog. and a drakenier sideblog

[thecuriousbeauty]

Traitor-The Present

Chapter 1

Synopsis:y/n is a hard working painter, trying to make the ends meet. She lives with and takes care of her sick Uncle, the only one she has for a family. She has dreams to make it big, and when the desperation for money strikes, she has to make a choice. Walk away after listening to an incredible deal that would fix all her problems, or take up the deal. A top secret, risky deal, which involves meeting Harry Styles.A man once rumored to be a dangerous secret weapon of a leading mafia. artist!y/n x mafia!harry (he's also a doctor)

Word Count: 3601

Author's note: This chapter is just a start to what I hope will be a very interesting thriller. This is my fan first fiction, but I've made sure that it's all planned out properly for you guys. Warnings will be mentioned at the beginning of every chapter. Please re blog to support me if you like it! Next chapter will be up very soon:)

Warnings: Talks about mafia, gold smuggling, accident.

___________________________________________

"Ms. y/l/n, this is the second time I'm calling you, I'm afraid I cannot wait longer. I may have to-"

y/n closes her eyes, bringing her index and thumb finger to squeeze at the skin of the bridge of her nose. "No, no! Mr. Timothy please give me some time, I promise I'll send everything I owe you, just give me some time."

She was due on her rent on the little place she and her uncle call as home.

"I can't give you any more time, Miss. By tomorrow 8 pm, or I'll have you evicted.", Mr. Timothy told her on the phone. 

"Yes, um thank you." y/n sighs as she keeps her phone on the table, and looks around at the mess of her living room. It was a small flat, with a decent living room, a comfortable couch, a TV where her uncle usually spends away the day when she's out working, and two bedrooms. 

Her phone beeped, with an alarm to make sure her uncle took her medicines, and she walked to his bedroom. He was resting on the bed, back supported by a pillow as he read a book. He loves books on underworld mysteries and mafias. She never gets it. 

"Uncle Luke, it's time for your meds.", she says. 

From the time she remembers, y/n was raised by her uncle. She doesn't remember having a father, or a mother, she only has her Uncle Luke to call as family. Whenever she asked him about her family, he would stroke her hair and tell her that no one realized how special she was.

She loved her uncle, he was her father figure. Uncle Luke got diagnosed with Alzheimer's a few months back, and he had to retire from his job as a librarian. Sometimes, he appears completely normal. y/n's heart breaks when she sees the painful expression on her uncle's face as he tries to remember something that shouldn't have been that difficult to remember.

"I took them.", her uncle smiles at her, lifting his eyes from the book. "Are you okay? You seem stressed."

She smiles for his sake, nodding. "Just tired. You need anything?"

Uncle Luke shakes his head, before taking her hand. "Is it money? I can help you out, go back to my job-"

"-No, Uncle Luke, I got it.", y/n squeezes his hand. "I just need you to rest up and be okay. I'm gonna try and squeeze in another job, I'll work something out. I've gotta go now."

Uncle Luke nods, gently ruffling her hair. "Off you go, y/n."

"See you in the evening!"

y/n rushes out the door, and takes the train to the cafe. She doesn't work as a barista, the cafe wanted someone to paint beautiful pictures on the canvas while their customers enjoyed their service. The Golden Cup cafe was a beautiful place. Covered with greenery, sweet smelling flowers and little tables around. 

y/n set up her canvas, paints and brushes. "Morning.", her best friend Sania nudges her elbow. Sania works as a server in the same cafe, and they have been best friends since the first day they met.

"Good morning. It's not good though, I hope yours was good.", y/n rambles, stressed about her desperate need for money.

"Woah, what happened?", Sania asks watching her mix a few colors onto her palate. y/n tells her about the rent problems, and Sania nods understandingly. She also had her debt issues, but recently, she was doing well. y/n thought her rough patch would also be over soon, but she had no hope now. 

"I can set you up an appointment with the people I was talking about.", Sania tells her, and it gains her attention. "They can help you."

"I don't want to do anything illegal Sania-"

"-No, it's not illegal. It's off charts, but you're gonna get money in exchange for a task they assign you. It's simple!"

"That task may involve illegal activities.", y/n shakes her head. Last thing she needed was to go to jail, leaving her uncle all alone.

"No, it won't. Come on y/n, they helped me.", Sania smiles at another coworker, and lowers her voice. "You don't even have to agree immediately, you can decide and get back to them. This job isn't going to be enough to make ends meet and you know that. Think about it."

"Sania take table 4 please!"

"Yes.", Sania nodded at y/n. "I have to get back to work."

y/n also had to get to work, she smiled at the customers before putting her brush to the canvas. She doesn't decide on what to paint. She just lets the inspiration take over. The customers watched in awe as her hand moved skillfully, without an effort. y/n didn't think about her problems when she painted. When she painted, she was in her own world where everything was alright. That was why her paintings all turned out extraordinary.

She talked to the customers who came up to her. During her break, she sat with her cold mint lemon tea and thought about everything Sania said. She was right, she needed the money. Just talking with them wouldn't hurt would it? 

She approached Sania later on that day. "I'll um, I'll talk to them."

"Good! I'll set you up a meeting tonight.", Sania smiled and gave her a side hug. "The choice will be yours babe, to take up the offer or not."

y/n looks around nervously as Sania leads her through an alleyway. It was a sketchy place. There were no people around. 

"Are you sure this is the right place?", y/n whispers.

"Yes.", Sania holds her hand. "They like to be discreet."

"Why? Because of their illegal businesses?"

"Stel. I don't know if they have illegal businesses or not, but they won't involve you in anything like that. There, that's the building. Third floor."

"You're not coming with me?", y/n asks as she stares up at the tall building. It looked musty and old. Much like a haunted house.

"No, but I'll wait for you in the car, okay?", Sania says and y/n sighs, wondering if this was a bad idea. "You'll be fine.", Sania assures.

y/n nods, and goes inside the building. She took the elevator, and waited until it got to the third floor. The building didn't look as bad inside.  

"y/n, y/l/n?", a man asks. He was tall, clad in a black shirt and black pants. He had an AirPod in his right ear, an expensive watch on his left arm. 

"Yes.", y/n answers and the man nods, before walking towards the end of the hallway. y/n assumed she was supposed to follow him so she did. They stopped at a room, and he opened it, stepping aside for her to enter. "Please."

The door closed behind her as she entered the room. She noticed the velvety purple couch in the middle of the room, where a bold looking woman sat. Neat white blouse tucked into dark red pants, along with red heels and red lipstick coating her lips made her look like the boss. She was the only one sitting, the other two men were leaning against a table, and the other was looking outside the window, not paying attention to her. They wore similar clothes to the man who brought her here.

The woman looks her down, her dark brown eyes trying to stare into her soul. Her short hair was sleeked back. 

"Miss y/l/n, please take a seat.", she gave her a smile, but y/n knew it wasn't a warm smile, it was more like a challenging smile. 

"Thanks." y/n sits on the chair in front of the woman. "I am Romania Pelt, nice to meet you.", the woman said, no shake of hands. 

"I guess you already know my name.", y/n replies nervously.

"Come on Hans, where are your manners? Ask our guest if she'd like something to drink.", Romania looks at the man leaning on the table and staring at y/n.

"Anything to drink?", he promptly asks.

"Um, mint lemon ice tea?", y/n blurts out nervously, and the man smirks in amusement, before turning around and fixing her a water. "Water will do too, thank you.", y/n takes a sip, and keeps the water on the table, before keeping her hands on her lap. 

"So Miss y/l/n, we know about the trouble you're in and we want to help you out.", Romania tells her.

"If you want to help me out, I have to do something for you. Let me tell you, I will not take part in anything involving illegal issues like drug dealing, or sexual favors for anyone.", y/n put it out.

"Okay.", Romania nods. "Anything else?"

"You know illegal includes dealing with unauthorized guns, stealing, trespassing-"

"We're aware what illegal covers.", Romania cuts her off, and the man chuckles like she was funny. "You're right about doing us a favor. Let me tell you about it."

y/n nods. "We have a big business, all around the world. We do a lot of things, which involves a lot of side operations.", Romania said in a way y/n wouldn't know what the things were. "But now we're at a little bit of a loss."

"I um can't help you with business.", y/n murmurs.

"I know. But you can help us bring back our main player."

y/n raises an eyebrow as Romania continued. "He was our leader. He was the best at everything. Masterplans, hacking, leading our opponents into traps. He was mainly in charge of the gold smuggling. One night when he was travelling with the gold along with his partner, something happened between them. All we know is that there was a blast, and his partner died. The gold was gone too."

"He didn't die?", y/n asked.

"No.", Romania smiled. "Harry Styles does not go down easily."

Harry Styles. y/n liked the story but she didn't like what she was going to hear. "In the blast, Harry suffered a severe head injury. He was in a coma for a while, but he came back. Unfortunately, he doesn't remember anything that happened.", Romania said. "He has forgotten everything about his past life. We know it must have scared him deeply, losing his partner. She was his lover. Reagan Jones. She was the only one in our unit who was just as good as Harry. They both were literally, a power couple."

y/n felt bad for the guy. "When Reagan died, Harry permanently lost a piece of him too. Not a small piece. A large part of his past life."

"W-What's he doing now?", y/n asks.

"He is a doctor.", Romania says. "Only we knew him as who he was. On the outside he maintained an image as our Doctor. He remembers about being a doctor, so that's how he's leading a living now. Everyone knew about Reagen and not to mess with her, but Harry was our secret weapon, and we need him back. We've given him enough time to sulk about Reagen. It was unfortunate, and we all hate that we lost her but we need Harry back in his bearings."

"What do you want me to do about that?", y/n asks confused.

"You need to befriend him.", Romania says. "Talk to him, get to know him. We heard from Sania that you love talking, and you're great with customers. So do your thing. Eventually, we need you to ask him about what happened that night, what really went wrong, where is the gold?"

"You just said he doesn't remember."

Romania and Hans smile, even the man who was looking outside the window up until now and ignoring y/n, now turns around. "You are going to make him remember.", he said in his gruff voice.

"I'm not a brain surgeon!", y/n scoffed out a laugh. Who do these people think she is?

"We think Harry remembers everything. But he is putting on a show, a mask, to hide whatever he knows. He knows something huge, that's why he does not want to come back to his old life. We need to crack his shell somehow. We've all tried y/n, but someone like you is who we need. Do whatever you need to do, but please, you have to make him remember." Romania had a desperation to her voice now. "Oliver, please."

The bearded gruff man Oliver, pulls out a wad of cash. "Thirty thousand dollars, you can take this now, if you accept our deal."

y/n's eyes widens at the cash. "It's not black, it's real money.", Romania assures. "And on completion of the task, we will give you the rest. Five hundred thousand dollars in total."

"W-Why would you pay me so much?"

"Because this is important to us. We need Harry back.", Oliver says slowly. "I need my best friend back."

Hans pats his arm like he was offering the man comfort. "You'll have to report to me weekly, and you get four weeks to make him remember.", Romania says.

"Four weeks?!", y/n was surprised. How can she make a man remember things he doesn't want to remember in four weeks?

"You can do it.", Romania tells her. "Let me show you his picture. Hans?"

Hans nodded and handed y/n a photo. "That's him. The most wanted man. By now, our opponents also know about Harry. They knew Reagan alone couldn't carry off what she did. So Harry has a lot of people wishing him dead. They don't want to risk him remembering and going back to the person he was."

y/n looked at the photo of the man as the thoughts ran in her mind. A man who lost his lover, and lost his memory. Now he's living without knowing that he is a live target for the big thugs. He was handsome, y/n thought. Luscious brown hair, styled neatly, a little and his green eyes were so deep, like they held a forest inside them. This was the person she was supposed to befriend.

"You can take your time to think about it, give me a call by tomorrow.", Romania slides her card over to y/n. "Nice talking to you, Miss y/l/n."

"I'll escort you outside.", Hans says, and y/n understand that they're done talking to her.

_____________________________________________________________

"Well he's a handsome man, Reagan must have been lucky.", Uncle Luke says as y/n shows him the photo of Harry and tells him the story. y/n shared everything with Uncle Luke. Sania was her best friend, but she still didn't share some things with her that she would with Uncle Luke. 

"Well she's dead.", y/n mumbles. "What do you think?"

"This man must be important.", Uncle Luke says, and y/n nods. "If they're willing to pay so much just in return for his memory."

"What if he doesn't want to remember Uncle Luke?", y/n asks softly. "Reagen died. That must have scarred him deeply. Maybe there's something more to it. Maybe someone attacked them and he couldn't save her. He must be in pain, that's why his mind is shutting it all off."

"Don't get personal, darling.", Uncle Luke advises. "We don't know what kind of a man Harry was, so don't feel for him. Your job is just to befriend him and make him remember."

"I'm too curious to let this go now.", y/n says. "I only read about mafias in novels! I told Sania they were real."

"Mafia?", Uncle Luke laughs. "You confirmed they're mafia?"

"Of course. Business, she said. So secretive! You had to see the building and all the men.", y/n laughs too. "You're right, I won't get personal. I just need the money. Maybe we can get out of this town sooner than we thought, Uncle Luke."

Her uncle smiles, patting her hand as he closes her eyes. "Reena said she'll come over for dinner."

y/n's smile freezes as she hears that. Reena was Uncle Luke's daughter, she had died in a fire. She hates when the disease does this. Uncle Luke had early onset Alzheimer's, so it wasn't as bad as him not being able to recognize her. But she still hated it. 

"I'll make her favorite pasta.", y/n whispers, fluffing his pillow. "You get some rest, Uncle Luke. I love you."

She had to get him the best care. He took care of her all her life. She took the card, and called Romania.

"Miss y/l/n, good to hear from you.", Romania's voice says.

"I'll do it.", y/n said before she could change her mind. "I'll bring his memories back."

___________________________________________

She decided to go with the classic method of meeting first. Go out for drinks. y/n wasn't a big drinker, most of the time. She wasn't going to drink too much today, she wanted to be sober enough to remember everything she got out of the man. 

Romania sent her the details of the hospital in which Harry worked, and told her that he goes to the bar down the street after his working hours sometimes. y/n hoped this would be one day like that, as she set out to the bar. y/n wore a chrome yellow fluffy, silky top along with her jeans and heels. She let her hair out. 

She looked around the bar as she entered, not spotting her target. She decided to wait.

"What would you like, ma'am? New here?", the bartender smiles at her. 

"Uh yes, first time here." She skims through the names of the drinks. 

"First drink on the house. I'll get you our special cocktail?", he asks.

"Okay!" 

Anything on the house sounded amazing.

"I'll be right back.", he winks at her and goes away. y/n turned on her chair to continue scanning the crowd. The bartender was cute, but she had stuff to do.

Her drink came faster than Harry, and she was disappointed he wouldn't come to the bar that night when she finally saw him.

The photo didn't do justice. Harry Styles stood tall, six feet two at least, she thought. His stubble had grown out, and his hair had curls peeking out. Sharp cheekbones that could slice through skin and strong shoulders that hid beneath his light blue shirt. 

He appeared stressed as he ran a hand through his hair, and sat on the empty chair a few seats away from her. "Usual.", he nodded at the bartender, who got to making his drink right away. y/n watched him roll his shirt sleeves back, and sit with his head on his hands. He must have had a rough day.

Then he lifted his head up suddenly and looked straight at her, like he knew she had been watching him. Their eyes connected for a second, before he looked away. 

y/n felt a shiver up her spine. 

That was close, y/n breathed as she sipped the concoction. 

She waited until he had drowned a drink, of what looked like whiskey, before she made her move. 

She gave him her best smile as she took the seat next to him. "Hi, rough day?"

He didn't spare her a look, but he grunted in reply.

Very polite.

"I had a rough day too.", y/n goes on. "Being an artist isn't easy. Sometimes it's hard to get into the creative head space. I had some decisions to make today, and that interfered with my work."

"Artist?", his voice was smooth and deep.

"Yes. I paint.", she answers. "What do you do?"

"ER Doctor.", he looks at her with those eyes looking like they were brimming a storm behind them. "I like art."

"You do? You should come to the cafe sometime, then.", y/n says, treading on careful steps. 

"I don't get time to take a stroll into a cafe.", Harry scoffs, taking a big gulp of his drink. 

"Your job is difficult.", y/n agrees. "Do you like being a doctor?"

Harry tilts his head to study her. "Yes."

y/n waited for him to say something more, but he didn't. Great. He does love talking.

"What do you like about art?", she asks. That, she could talk about.

"The colors.", he answers, looking away from her again. "They have a hidden meaning, most of the time. The artist might not even have an idea when they start, but it turns out beautiful when they're done. Like they gave life to it."

That was the most he had told her since they started talking, and Stella smiled at his description. "I have a small studio too, you should stop by when you have time, Doctor-"

"Turner.", he completes. "Harry Turner."

Either he changed his last name, or he doesn't remember. y/n offers her hand to shake. "y/n, y/l/n."

He nods, and she feels the rough callouses of his fingers as it brushes hers. His hand was warm, and she liked the feel of it on hers. It made her feel safe. Why did it make her feel like that? Why did she feel like it was a familiar hand?

Chapter Two

[pleiadesalien]

first post 11/11/24

i've been thinking all day about what to write as my first post back on tumblr after a decade. i've decided to write a daily diary on this blog, although i'm not sure why. i guess i just feel like i have things to say but no one around that wants to listen, so i might as well talk to no one here.

i woke up this morning with the intention of doing multiple things that need to be done and all i managed to achieve was brushing my teeth. today marks the beginning of the fourth week of being on sertraline (again), but also the first day of being on propranolol. i've felt nothing but lethargy.

the support line called again today, although i don't see why. i told him that i was demotivated as usual and he just told me that he hopes i get better soon. what was the point of that?

i made a pork rib stir fry for dinner but added too many chillies for my family to be able to handle. personally, i thought the sauce was bland and it wasn't spicy at all. it was not my finest work and i know i could do better. my cooking skills have severely diminished since moving in with my family, constantly having to de-flavour meals.

the soaps are getting good, i'll try to sum them up in a sentence. bernie came back in eastenders and tried to snitch on the six but suki told her to fix up, don't be dumb. deedee confessed to the police in coronation street that she attacked joel, but kit arrested lisa instead, and carla saw max and lauren with a bag suspected to be joel's. tina told vinny that she's his real mum after mandy refused to be blackmailed by her in emmerdale and now he's mad.

fat cat scratched her ear again. i'm really worried she won't make it to christmas; mum would be devastated. it's our first christmas at home without nan, so she can't lose her cat at her most favourite time of year, that's just cruel. mum put the christmas decorations up last monday 4th, that's how excited she is. it's very festive.

i'm dreading sdad coming home tomorrow. he's just too much and i need more than a day's break from him. that also means i actually have to do work tomorrow. maybe i'll get on the treadmill again but don't hold me to that.

i know this is some dry life i'm living. maybe it will be different tomorrow.

[enharcv]

by my side | lee heeseung

pairing ‣ roommate!fem reader x richboy!roommate heeseung

genre ‣ fluff fluff FLUFF

warnings ‣ mild cussing, LOTS of pet names from heeseung & quite cliche ig + a lot of dialogue ;) y/n also zones out ALOT in this soooo.. + not proofread!

a/n ‣ THIS IS. perhaps not my best work bc i was close to not writing this but i still did it anyway bc i really really liked the plot and the idea of it? i hope you guys still enjoy it though :D anddd the series is coming to end since jay is the only member left, i'm kinda bummed about it but it's just the starting of this blog :)) i will work hard and set out more work for you guys to read hehehhehehe! thank you (for 300+ notes on the other parts) so so much for giving support to my works :D ilu all hhhjehahehjhenf.

** !! there's an error i just found out which is heeseung's name typed wrongly as heesung in this fic, so i'll try to fix it as soon as i can!!

"morning miss y/n" 

you give your roommate a smile, as you take a seat at the dining table. a plate is placed before you, the aroma of the food makes your face glow earning a chuckle from heesung, as he takes a seat before you. 

"thank you for the meal mr. chef!" you grin at heesung, humming as you take a bite savoring the meal. 

"it's really good" 

"thank you, i did it myself" heesung replies to your compliment, a smile on his lips. 

"where's jay and the rest?" you ask, looking around finally noticing the house was quite silent for roommates that consisted of four men and you, a girl. 

"oh, jay left early saying he had plans im not sure why is that,  jake and sunghoon went out to hang out i think," heesung says before he takes a bite from his breakfast. 

"ah i see, so do you have any plans then hee?" 

"mmm, i don't think so maybe i'll go run errands later cause’ we ran out of a few things," he answers. 

"what about you, love?" 

you didn't know what was the reason for the smile that grew even wider on your face, and you didn't bother hiding it since heesung was too invested in his food where his gaze only lingered there. 

was it the nickname love or the fact heesung was interested in your day. it's clear as a day of your crush on him, ever since you started being friends with a while after your first occurrence with him. 

four a.m. in a convenience store buying ramyeon because you became hungry while working on a thesis based on a 100 paged doc in the second year of uni— & you still have nightmares about it. 

however that night was something you will never regret happening, perhaps the all-nighter was a good idea after all. 

you were looking through the row and you remember how happy you were upon seeing the only packet of your favorite ramen left. 

your happiness was short-lived when you felt another hand on top of yours. 

"i took it first"

"i took it first"

you both glanced at each other, eyes narrowed shooting draggers. 

you grip on the ramen tightens so does the stranger's, which lights up the rage in you. 

"i said to let go," you grunted, glaring staring at the stranger. 

"no you let go, i came and took it first" he replies, his grip on the ramen tightens even more. 

having enough of the stranger you put all of your strength in and pull the ramen, however to your absolute horror the ramen rips off and the uncooked noodle fell on the ground. 

so does the seasoning packet after a while, like a cherry on top!

silence falls over the both of you as you both stare at the ramen which could have bloomed into a beautiful masterpiece, sexy slick noodles slurped into your mouth having you hum (possibly moan too *not sexually, however) at how incredibly savory the taste could have been.

"why would you do that?" 

"are you seriously dumping the fault on me?" you scoff, annoyance laced in your voice when you look up at the stranger before you. 

"well, you were the one who gripped onto it and ripped it off? am i wrong?" he asks, arms crossed across his chest, scoffing as well with a annoyed expression. 

"you're acting like you didn't do it too?" you retort back. 

"you ripped it off though,"

"you didn't let go when i told you to,"

"you didn't too it's obviously your fault,"

"it's your fault,"

"no it's your fault,"

"it's your fault"

"it's your fault"

"it's your fault!"

"uhm, excuse me?" a voice interrupts the argument going on between you and the stranger. 

"i need to restock," the lady says which makes you look at the item she's holding in a box. 

SHIN RAMYEON. 

your eyes immediately go up to meet the stranger who's looking back at you with the same expression. the worker walks pass you and the stranger making you both wait at the side, in absolute shock. 

"were we too impatient?" he asks.

"yeah, definitely" you reply, a chuckle follows from the stranger making you laugh but immediately shutting up when the worker looks back at you both.

"by the way one of y'all gotta pay up for this," she says, pointing at the ramen on the floor before walking off. 

after debating on who was going to pay for the wasted ramyeon, which you both did over a ramyeon (date) meal in the store. 

through that, you both ended up exchanging numbers and learned each other’s names. over that ramyeon incident, you both became friends as well not long after.

now, how did you both become roommates?

well, you ended up finding out he majors in a medical field too, in the same university and in the same course as well. at first, you were extremely confused how you never noticed or knew him, turns out it's because he's quite kept to himself in his own friend group who consisted of the rest of your roommates jake, jay, and sunghoon.

but still, you were quite confused although after few days you both ended up seeing each other in class, started hanging out too. It was only natural you both became close from then on.

a few months later, you had to move out of your old apartment because the landlord sold the place to another person. you didn't know if you should blame your luck or your landlord but that left you with no other choice than to find a new place. It was then when you ranted about it to heesung and him being the generous person he is, he ended up offering you to become his roommate.

you hesitated at first although you both were close, but you agreed in the end when you came to know that heesung also shared the apartment with jay, jake and sunghoon when they also happened to have another vacant room for rent. that also leaded to you becoming the new addition to their friend group.

however moving in was the breaking point because your feelings grew rapidly as soon as you started getting even more comfortable living with heesung than you were before. 

all the things you both did together, the amount of time you spent together it almost felt like you were newlyweds but you both lived with three other men (who were almost like yours and heesung’s kids). 

but as much as you dreamt of being in a relationship with heesung you also knew it would never be mutual. heesung was way out of your league, to be honest. he could practically do anything and almost everything. heesung is every woman’s dream guy.

precisely, he's an ace. 

it doesn't exactly help that he's extremely good-looking too, you often found yourself staring at him, admiring his beauty a little too long too but you knew better than to be caught red-handed. you couldn’t give it away too easily after all your ego was too high to admit it anyway. It was pretty natural for any girl to catch feelings, heesung was also the ideal man of yours too.

"earth to y/n?" a hand is waved before you, bringing you back into reality.

"oh— oh my god" you gasp, blood rushing to your face when you realize you’ve been zoned out. “how long was i out for?" you ask, looking at him wide-eyed. heesung stifles a laugh, before putting down his utensils. 

"well, long enough for me to finish my meal." 

"you're lying, i zoned out when you had like three scoops of food left," you say, furrowing your eyebrows, trying to divert the topic to heesung so you can escape the embarassment.

"you were zoned out for three scoops of food worth of time then, y/n" he says, and flashes you a smie.

"that's so embarrassing" you say, the heat on your face still there. 

"so you're self-aware?" you stare right back at him, your jaw opened wide earning a loud laugh from heesung. 

"you're sick" you say shocked while watching how amused heesung was. 

"i was kidding," he says, his laughter dying down while you go back to finishing your food. "anyway, i asked if you have any plans today?" 

"oh, i don't know, I think i'll just spend the day finishing a few shows on netflix." you say, sighing at how boring it was about to get but on the brighter side, all you had to do today was to move your fingers to change episodes all while laying down on your bed.  

bed = closest to paradise

heesung hums in response before he gets up to put his plate and utensils in the sink. you quickly finish up your food and join him by the sink with your plate in your hand, a honey-like smile on your face. 

"what?" he asks and eyes you suspiciously at the way you were looking at him. 

"wash my plate too please, hee" you plead with a ‘cute’ voice (you assume) in hopes to get him wash your plate too. 

"mmmmmmmm why should i though?" he asks teasingly, chuckling when he sees you pout. 

"please heesung," flashing him a gummy smile this time he rolls his eyes before grabbing your plate and washing it too. you give him a backhug while laughing before you go back to the dining table to take a seat again. 

"you owe me one for this love," he says, wiping his hand when he’s done washing the dishes. 

"over washing one plate and two utesils hee? you're better than this come on, pretty boy." you say in a sassy tone earning a scoff from him. 

"why didn't you wash it then?" 

you go silent which makes you look up at him when you hear a small chuckle from him, "see?" he says, shrugging as he takes a seat from where he was seated before. 

"shut up" you say, rolling your eyes. 

just then heesung's phone starts ringging, he eyes the screen before picking it up. 

"oh, mom" 

heesung’s mom? that’s quite sudden.

invested in the sudden call, you stay silent and observe the conversation. it was really just a reason for you to stare at heesung as he speaks on the phone with his (**your possible mother-in-law) mother. 

"today? like later?" he asks, his voice all of a sudden a little louder, which earns your attention from zoning out. this zoning out habit seriously had to go.

what was today? later? no clue so you keep on listening to the conversation but you’re easily swayed away when his arms catch your attention. your mind is frenzy when you see the sleeve of his white shirt tighten around his bicep when he places his arm on the table. 

fucking hell, if possible you were mad grateful whoever came up with the idea of creating white t-shirts, thin material at it too was getting laid GOOD in the gates of heaven. 

because

lee heesung looked fine as FUCK in it.

"gazed out again? are you tired?" 

"huh?" you look up to heesung who was now clicking away on his phone, right— the call must have ended. 

"is it like a new hobby now, or do i catch your eye too much? you've been staring at me the whole day," heesung asks, smirking at you which makes him earn a scoff from you. 

"you're so full of yourself" 

"how do i not say that when you're checking me out at every chance you get y/n?" cockily speaking, he gets up from his seat while looking down at you.

"have a good look now love!" heesung twirls around and gives you a wink when he's done. 

"lee heesung!" you whine, hiding your face in embarrassment. "stop you're so annoying! i wasn’t staring at you!” you deny with all your might, begging at ths point he’d stop teasing you because you’re actually starting to look like a tomato. 

"whatever you say y/n, now since you owe me one go and get dressed fancy because we have plans" he says and walks off into his room leaving you confused.

you're still confused when you finish putting on your perfume before you take a step back and look at yourself in your stand-mirror. 

(quick a/n : i really wanted y/n to wear this fit a lot in my fics but i never found the best occasion so here u go ;) dw she looks mad fine!)

on a second thought maybe you looked the best tonight. 

and heesung confirmed it the moment you stepped out into the living room but you were too occupied with arranging the items in your purse while mumbling to yourself at how disorganized it was. 

while heesung on the other hand was starting to think if you looked this good everyday he might actually pass out as if you weren't already pretty on a daily basis because my guy was straight up shocked when he sees you with his jaw dropped on the floor.

you were THAT pretty.

white truly was your color. the white fabric against your skin it made you look like an angel who actually came down from heaven. what could beat a simple white dress that showed off your curves beautifully in a decent length which stopped right on your mid-thigh. 

he couldn't help but observe the other parts of you too, the way your curls were styled perfectly as it was draped down your back and the simple makeup you had on which yet managed to make you look so so beautiful.

heesung mentally thanks the deities that you chose to wear this cause you sure did look insanely pretty but at the same time he was quite worried that he might give away his fat ass crush on you tonight from how amazing you looked. 

yes! the lee heesung had a crush on you as well. it wasn’t too different from how you developed a crush on him too. heesung started catching feelings when you moved in and started spending more time together. although at first he tried denying the feelings in hopes he wouldn’t ruin the friendship between you both, heesung eventually came to terms that it sure was a crush. 

besides he fell for you way too hard, it’s unstopable now. heesung too thought he knew better than to ruin the friendship so he remained silent and secretive of his crush on you without knowing you too felt the same.

you both seemed to value the friendship too much to ruin it over mere feelings. or so the both of you thought? perhaps the universe held a different fate for the both of you tonight.

"heesung i can't find my—" you immediately pause because the view before was something you had only dreamed of seeing before. 

LEE HEESUNG. IN. A. TUX. 

WHATHECUCKSKAKWJENDN SISKSKKXJSNWWE HESBSO FUCKSISNDNDBSINSAJENWKWKWKDBHOW DOEKSNDNBDNE BE KOIAJANS SGODOSOSJS DHSOSJEBGAWFWGQJJWSJNDNDND GODKDKDKSJSJDDB WHY DOWS HE LOAJJSNENWA SO GSOAKSJDNDN. 

that's exactly what went inside your head at first when you looked at him. when he said dress fancy, you knew he was bound to show up in a tuxedo, but what you weren't expecting was him to look insanely handsome than what you expected. 

you certainly didn't expect the forehead reveal too. 

observing his tuxedo, your heart was literally about to burst the fuck out. he literally just had a damn tuxedo on, like it was all normal. a NORMAL TUXEDO, BUT WHY DID IT LOOK SO. GOOD. ON. HEESUNG. 

"oh" 

"oh"

"hee—"

"y/n—"

you both stop when you accidentally cut each other off. letting a small chuckle left his lips before he smiles at you and says, "go ahead first,"

"no it's fine, you go first"

“ladies first, love"

YOU LOOK SO GOOD CAN WE PLEASE KISS HEESUNG?

"i can't find my keys," you say. well, that sure was totally different from what you originally wanted to say.

"it's alright, i have mine. I'll be driving anyway" he answers and approaches you by the couch. 

"what did you want to say?" you ask, looking up at him as your heartbeat rate picks up again at heesung approaching you, when he takes off his blazer. 

DOES HE HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT HE’S DOING?????????

"help me out" he says, holding out a bow tie and a necktie in his hand and smiling at you slyly.  

"oh," you say glancing over to his collar seeing it unbuttoned so was the three others down which led down the valley on his chest. you look away flustered, grabbing the ties and observing it comparing which looked better on him.

“let’s go with the bow tie," you say handing him the other tie to hold. you pull the collar of his shirt upwards before putting the bow tie around his neck and tying it. 

while you were focused on it, heesung couldn’t help but grab the chance to observe you even more. your perfume catches his attention which makes him smile. you smelt quite good, heesung thinks you have a good taste for perfumes.

why did everything about you this evening made him so nervous and giddy?

"here you go," you say, patting the bow on him and giving him a smile. 

"oooooh you look very nice pretty boy" heesung finds himself flustered at the compliment but he keeps his cocky expression up before he gives you an annoying response. 

yeah, so that didn’t work.

heesung finds himself saying another thing from what he planned to say. 

"you look like the only one who's going to be having my attention tonight" 

the room goes silent when you stare wide-eyed up at the sudden compliment. nevertheless it still managed to make you blush and the butterflies in your tummy erupt while heesung silently cusses himself.

"oh, thank you," you say, a big smile grows on your face with your ears growing warm and the blood rushing up to your face. 

"here," heesung says to escape the tension in the room when he brings you to sit down on the couch. 

"hee, what are you doing?" you ask, confused as to why he got you to sit down. 

heesung kneels down and brings a box down onto his lap from next to you which you didn't realize. well, not when your whole attention was on the boy in front of you. 

heesung takes off the lid and then a few wraps which then reveals 

a pair of heels?

he takes one heels out and sets it down and then proceeds to pick up your feet. he slips your feet in and then puts on the strap, which he then also repeats for your other feet.

when he’s done, he looks up to meet your eyes which were looking down at him.

the one he sees the whole universe in when you're the happiest woman in the world.

he shoots his million-dollar smile at you before speaking up, "coincidentally you wore white today which is perfect because these heels are white too, so how is it? do you like it, love?" 

"did you buy these— for me?" you ask, and as predicted heesung nods. 

"what? why?" you ask confused. it wasn’t your birthday, you didn’t have anything up too so what was the sudden gift all about?

"because.." he trails off, "do i need to have a reason to buy a gift for my friend?" your heart clenches when you hear the word leave his mouth. 

right. a friend.

that's what you are to him, and you keep on forgetting it. you put on a smile which hid your disappointment you look at heesung. 

"i'll pay you back, these look really expensive i can't let you do that," you say and chuckle but heesung lips form a frown by your response. 

"it's a gift y/n, why would you pay me back? you know i hate it when you do that, im not letting you do that."

"hee—"

"it's a gift from me to you love, i bought it for you. so don't worry about it and wear it often, you look very beautiful in it," he says, complimenting you as he gets up. you sigh in defeat before you put your hand in heesung's hand which he held out for you.

"oh yeah, you never told me where we are going" you as trying to push the conversation before to the back of your mind.

stop worrying too much and just have fun tonight, y/n.

"my mom said she's having a small hi-tea party, for family and friends so she forced me to be there with a plus one," 

right, and heesung is insanely rich too. 

this man is a full package. once again, he isn’t every girl’s dream guy for no reason. 

"ah, so you're making me your victim?" you say teasingly which makes heesung laugh. 

"victim? you really have a way with your words y/n"

"isn't hi-tea held like in the evening or something?" 

"4 to 6 in the evening is the time," heesung says as he puts on his shoes. 

"what the fuck. didn't we just have breakfast just now?" you ask, thinking about how you just had breakfast an hour ago. 

"it's brunch for you because you woke up at 1 in the afternoon, it's three now almost four too" he replies which has you gasping when you check your phone. 

"time flew so fast today"

"no, you just have bad time management" you scoff at heesung before you both exit the apartment after double checking if you locked it because you're paranoid and you won’t leave heesung alone without being sure if you did lock it or not.

"hee?"

"mm?"

"do you have a feet fetish?"

"WHAT?"

"because i don't think I've ever mentioned my shoe size to you, and these heels fit perfectly so how did you get the size perfect?" 

"you think i have a feet fetish because of that? you're out of your mind!" 

"well, how'd you know then?" 

"i checked your shoes silly" 

"oh. so you do have a foot fetish?" 

"what the fuck y/n?"

"what are the chances you didn't smell my shoes when you were checking the size?"

"you're fucking insane, oh my god"

"chances are low but never zero, lee"

"Y/N!"

to be honest you were completely okay until you arrived at the venue and you started to feel nervous. heesung ends the engine and was about to exit before he takes a look at you, who didn't look too well and heesung being the gentleman he is, he immediately checks on you.

"y/n? is everything alright, you look so.." he trails off in a worried tone when you look at him. 

"im nervous, what if i fuck up?" you shriek, eyebrows furrowed as your mind starts making up negative scenarios. what if you trip and embarrass yourself and heesung or what if you bump into a waiter and accidentally cause a bunch of glasses to break?

"fuck up? what are you talking about?" heesung asks, confused at your reply. 

"like what if i don't fit in, like i know i don't— this isn't my cup of tea and all but like what if something i do actually like? oh my god what if—"

"y/n." you look at heesung. 

"you're not going to fuck up anything, i’ll be by your side. everything will be fine you really don't have to worry about not fitting in at all, it doesn't matter." 

"but—"

"no but's! i know you're nervous so that's why i'll hold your hand and stay by your side. everything will be fine, you don't have to worry love. i’m here, alright?" he assures you which you sigh at but trusting heesung you give him a small smile before he exits the car and opens your door to let you out. 

heesung takes your hand in his and intertwines the fingers which may or may have not made your heartbeat race. he locks the car and then you both make your way into the venue. making your way into the rooftop, you couldn't help but feel like you might pass out any moment. 

1) this was your first time at an extremely fancy place like this. being a middle-class lady all your life, it was pretty rare for you to end up at such events like this.

2) why were you so nervous as if you were going to meet heesung's mom and be like "yeah im dating your son ma'am, I'd like your blessings" 

you both enter the rooftop once the lift doors open and you both were immediately greeted by the commissionaires. you both give them a smile and then were ushered. your nervousness was once again noticed by heesung which resulted him to place his arm around your waist, catching you by surprise. 

this man was the death of you.

"oh my, heesung lee? is that you, dear?" a voice interrupts you both when you're finally by the reserved high-top table. 

"aunt leah?” heesung smiles pulling the older lady who seemed to be in her 40's into a hug.

"my goodness, it's been quite a very long time since we've last seen each other dear! you've grown to be a very dashing handsome man!" she compliments heesung as they pull away, her hand placed on his bicep as she speaks. 

"you’re right aunty it sure has been a while, how are you?" 

you didn't seem to be rude and interupt them so you turned around to observe the place. but your sight-seeing moment didn't last long until you were being mentioned. 

"so heesung who's this pretty young lady here?" you turn around like a deer caught in headlights but immediately flash her a smile as you join heesung by his side. 

"my my, heesung you sure have very good taste in women, she is a very beautiful woman!" heesung's aunt compliments you which you immediately thank her to but the main reason there was a big blush on your face was what she said to heesung. 

“you sure have a very good taste in women”

you look up to a flustered heesung as well who was chuckling at his aunt's statements. 

"well what are you waiting for? introduce me to her, i'd like to catch up with her, we have plenty to talk about," 

panic rises in you as you look at heesung, what the fuck was he going to say? well, of course, 'roommate' or friend right?

"aunt leah, this is y/n my girlfriend and y/n, this is aunt leah, my mother's right-hand woman," he says looking over at you which a quick press on your waist to bring you closer. 

this had to be the most insane day you ever had with your feelings going insane because of lee heesung. 

partly you were quite giddy and all 'knees weak’ because of what he introduced you as but at the same time being the overthinker you are, you knew he only said that because it would seem ridiculous to bring a 'roommate' or a ‘friend’ to such an event. 

so you ended up convincing yourself that it was just a lie, you didn't have to freak out and get your hopes up because of it. 

"hello aunty," you smile at his aunt and fall into her embrace when she pulls you into a hug. 

"hello dear it's very nice meeting you!" she says a small laugh follows by at how nervous you seemed. 

"you both ladies continue your conversation, i'll look for my mother," he says before excusing himself and leaving you with his aunt. you give heesung a nervous smile at him suddenly leaving you with his aunt alone but heesung gives you a thumbs and as smile.

“you’ll be fine!” he mouths at you before disseapearing into the crowd.

"i know you both aren't dating so you can drop the act," his aunt speaks up as soon as heesung is out of sight. you look up, eyes wide straight up just staring at her. 

"did i come off too rude dear? oh no, i apologize!" she says chuckling which makes you sigh of relief. you were absolutely shocked, to say the least, however, you still try denying it to save heesung’s lie from earlier.

"i’m sorry but what are you talking about, aunty?" you laugh nervous, taking a sip from the champagne and then letting out fits of light coughs. you weren't really much of a drinker, if it happned too it was rare, only on occasions. 

heesung's aunt however just raised her eyebrow at you.

“i know you’re lying, you’re not very much of a good liar are you?” she says making you laugh.

“i can’t really back that up anymore can i?

“not a chance, dear” you both erupt into laughter together and then shutting up when you both attract glances. 

"if you don't mind me asking, how did you even...?" you trail off. heesung’s aunt smiles at you before leaning in to whisper. 

"we aren't called the masters of gossip for no reason" laughing even more this time you both were told to keep it down when a few people stares at you both.

"that's— very speechless" you say, sighing from how much she's made you laugh that evening. 

"mhm but you really want to know how" she pauses to look around but sees no one taking interest in the conversation anymore between you two before she continues. 

"heesung being the only son of the lee's and if you didn't know or if heesung didn't mention to you, the lee's are what we call the superior in this community"

"so, like— the Crazy Rich Asians?" you ask, still confused but by the reaction you get from aunt leah you get your answer. 

"well, i guess you can say that? but no worries mrs.lee isn't like the nick's mother in the movie. mrs.lee is actually a sweetheart just like her son, and knowing her for years now she's like a sister i never had. once again, just like her son she's an absolute ace too" she says describing heesung's mom and you nod giving her a smile. 

“and if heesung did really had a girlfriend, word would go around pretty quickly. in fact you being his plus one tonight is already attracting alot of people’s interest in you. if you haven’t realised, you actually have competition” she says and points towards a group girls who were staring at you with jealousy in their gaze. looking back to aunt leah, you sigh.

"i haven't met his mother before, this is my first time actually, coming around to see heesung's family." you say.

"oh my, then you must be really special. i guess heesung likes you a lot then!" she gaps. 

"what? sorry aunty but— heesung doesn't like me like that even though he just straight up lied to you just now," you say laughing nervously once again as you explain to her. 

there's no way heesung likes you. of course you imagined it, had scenarios in your head all about it but there's absolutely no way. AT ALL. that he liked you back, even if it happened— no, it won't happen there shouldn't be 'if's'. 

but what were the possibilities? you're a pretty decent person. so what's wrong? 

what's wrong was you think you're not good enough for heesung, perhaps you'll never be because you think you're nothing compared to any of the girls in the room you were. you were just a half-broke med school student who really didn’t compare to the rest of the girls in this room. you’re not even on their level to begin with and like you said before, you pratically didn’t belong here.

heesung could have any girl he wanted so why would he want you?

"y/n dear?" 

"sorry i kind of spaced out, im sorry? what were you were saying again?" you say, snapping out of your thoughts quickly apologizing to aunt leah. 

"are you alright?"

"yeah yeah i am, don't worry about it aunty. you were saying?" you ask, feeling the heat rush to your face immediately of embarassment.

"i was saying heesung doesn't bring just anyone to see his family. heesung keeps his private life away from his studies or anywhere related to the life he's living, so you must be pretty special for him to bring you along. apart from his friends who i remember were jay, sunghoon and… jake!" she explains but you still weren't convinced. 

"i think he just really needed a plus one aunty, it's the weekend everyone is probably busy with their own thing and i happened to be free and all so..," you say and aunt leah wasn't having it. 

"you're denying it as if you like him, y/n." 

"wha��� aunty what no? what are you talking about?" you stutter at first at the sudden question, but your answer and tone was more than enough for her to be sure of her suspicions. 

"so you do like him?" 

you stay silent for a moment, comprehending whether you should confess or just keep on denying it like you've been doing for the longest time. 

"your silence speaks loud enough.”

"anyone would see that he likes you from the way he looks at you dear, believe me- heesung likes you, if he brought you along to meet his family im pretty sure he wants to be serious with you. think about it, heesung looks at you like you’re the prettiest woman in his eye, which he isn’t wrong at. you’re a very beautiful woman." she says but you frown. 

even if he did you just couldn't find any logic reason or why he would like you? out of every other girl he could have had? why you? It isn’t a bad thing but you couldn't help but think that way given how he’s too perfect for you.

"but even if he did like me, why would it be me? it could be any other girl? there's so many other girls that are better than me- like those girls who are supposedly my ‘competition’ aunty." you ask, eyebrows furrowed and a frown on your face as you asked his aunt. 

"heesung will know the answer to that, but just trust me when i say he likes you. heesung may not be vocal about it but i know him like the back of my hand. after all, i was also the one that practically raised him, so go for it dear don't worry too much.you both will be fine!" 

you assumed she practically just asked you to ask heesung that? yeah no, that was definitely not happening. you weren't going to risk it all over something so stupid like your sily crush on him. 

again, like you've mentioned before. who wouldn't have a crush on him? after all, he's lee heesung. 

"am i interrupting you ladies?" a voice comes up from behind you which earns both of your attention. 

"nope! in-fact you're just in time, i was just done talking to your beautiful girlfriend" his aunt answers giving you a smirk at the mention of girlfriend. 

"i see, by the way aunt leah my mother is looking for you" heesung says, giving her his signature smile which made you heart flutter. he's so BEAUTIFUL it was totally hard to believe he was real and not a sculpture in a musuem. 

"is that so? alright, then i shall take departure then. it was a pleasure meeting you dear, i hope to you see you soon again, you too heesung" she says giving you both a smile before leaving.

"i hope she wasn't too much of a trouble?" heesung asks, moving over to in front of you as he grabs a glass of champagne from the waiter who passed by. 

"no, not really. she's a very nice lady, felt like we knew each other before this? she's very welcoming to say the least" you say, sighing which doesn't go unnoticed by heesung

"is everything alright love?" 

you look up at him, trying to not show it off too obviously that you're reading him. his eyebrows were furrowed, as if he was too concerned about you. the nickname makes you stomach do flips as usual, this is exactly why you keep on falling for him more and more. 

you have no self-control over your feelings anymore. 

"yes" 

"you're not, you seem too—" 

"hee im fine, don't worry about me. you should go have fun! like—" you pause looking around for an answer, stopping your gaze on a group of girls staring at the both of you, specifically heesung. 

"go talk to those girls! who knows you might finally get a girlfriend, if lucky you might get a good fuck too!" you say, chuckling but it doesn't seem to convince heesung. 

"no" 

"why not?" 

"because i want to be here with you. i'm not ditching you for some other girls like that y/n. i told you i’ll be by your side today,” he says and you pause. by pause, your heart actually paused and then started beating a little too fast to your liking. 

why does he keep on saying these things that make you feel like that? 

"you're not okay, do you want to go home? we can leave—" 

"no! no not yet, you're not having fun heesung. why are you worrying so much about me?" you ask, annoyance laced in your tone lightly when he remains stubborn and not listening to you. 

"you want me to have fun? okay then" he says, taking your wrist in his hand and he drags you towards the crowd in the middle of the place. 

"hee what are you doing?" 

"having fun" he places his hands around your waist which doesn't fail to make you get goosebumps and feel giddy. 

"not with me, i meant with those girls!" you say but heesung shuts you up by twirling you around which catches you by surprise, making you place your hands on his broad shoulders. part of you was actually glad he didn’t listen to you and go to those girls because then you’d be a jealous mess. 

"they're no fun, i like it better when i'm with you" he says grinning. 

you both just sway to the music letting everything just fall into place. you don't think much, just letting everything go by and happen as the song changes and you both watch the sunset.

"should we leave now? i have something to do" heesung says as he stops moving noticing it’s almost dusk when he checks his watch.

"okay" you say, not questioning what he had lined up. you just follow him, saying goodbyes to aunt leah and a few of his other relatives you didn’t know and pretty sure you won’t be seeing again anytime soon.

"i didn't get to see your mom" you say while you both walk to the car park. 

"that's for another time, i'm sure aunt leah tired you out despite you complimenting her— i know her like the back of my hand, i grew up by her."

"she said the same thing!" you shriek, earning a laugh from heesung. 

"i told you!" heesung opens the car door for you as you get in. 

"thank you, hee"

"you're welcome, my love"

the ride back wasn't too boring, you both shared a small conversation here and there. but when heesung pulls into the parking lot of a supermarket you're surprised. 

"huh? what are we doing there?" 

"we need to run errands, i told you this afternoon" he says, taking off his seatbelt and ending the engine. 

"no way, are you seriously going to walk in there dressed in a tuxedo hee?" you snicker, already imagining the way how red his face was going to be from embarrassment when he gets back. 

"not when you're coming with me too"

"what the fuck, no i'm not."

if not, why were you in the dairy section checking the milk carton's expiry date as you put it into the cart which heesung was pushing. 

"should we also get two packs of cheese, we run out of them pretty quick" heesung asks, picking them up and showing you. 

you just hum in response earning a sigh from heesung. 

"come on y/n, you can't be that mad. no one is even staring at us" he says and frowns. you continue to give him the cold shoulder as you walk away leaving heesung behind. 

"loveeee, y/nnnnnn, y/n?" heesung trails off behind you when you enter the snacks section. you take your favourite chips and heesung's putting them into the cart. 

"awe, you remembered mine" as soon as he says that you take it out of the cart which heesung stops you at with a frown on his face.

"okay fine i'll shut up" he says and sighs as he lets go when you put the chips back and then grab your other roommates favourite snacks too, putting it into the cart. 

you both went on, getting a few other items before heading to the cashier. things were going pretty smoothly until the cashier said something to heesung. 

"this isn't professional but can i have your number sir, I'd like to grab a coffee or meal with you if you don't mind?" 

your ears perk up at the question which makes you look straight at the cashier, shooting daggers at her. 

"are you blind or do you not see me with him?" you ask, your tone very— pissed off too. 

"oh, are you his girlfriend or something?" 

"or something? wow you really have the audacity to ask something like that? yes i'm his girlfriend, what about it? do you go around around everyone's boyfriends their number like this shamelessly?" you scoff, folding your arms questioning the cashier of her ridiculous action.

"i didn't know—" 

"you didn't know? i'm literally right next to my man?" you say and at this point you’re ready to throw hands but you were immediately interrupted by the store's manager you assumed by the looks of it. 

"excuse me, miss. is there a problem?" 

"yes. your 'worker' here doesn't seem to have professionalism and just asked my boyfriend for his number while i'm next to him. this is ridiculous and as if it can't get any worse she's extremely rude too?" 

heesung couldn't fight the growing smile on his face when you fought with the casier. the word 'my man and my boyfriend' leaving your mouth so naturally like that made his heart flutter.

he watches you as you file a complaint and pay before you both leave the store. he remains silent even when you both put the things into the car's boot. heesung couldn't wait to speak up about it in the car. 

as soon as you both got into the car, his smile finally turned into a smirk when he looked at you, leaning on the armrest. 

"what?" you glare at him, absolutely pissed not wanting to have anymore of whatever he was gonna make you do. 

speaking frankly, you weren't really that mad when heesung made you follow him into the supermarket although the stares from people were a little too obvious which heesung insisted they weren't 'staring'.

you were just teasing heesung when you gave him the so-called 'cold-shoulder' but what actually got you so pissed was when the cashier lady asked heesung out right when you were next to him. 

and by reflex you immediately called him your boyfriend and YOUR MAN. feeling flustered from knowing how cocky he was going to be about it, you prayed in hopes he wouldn't bring it up. 

however heesung being the little shit you knew, he immediately brought it up as soon as you both got into the car. 

"sooo my man? damn y/n i didn't know you had that in you." 

"shut up, i saved your ass back there" you say, whining as you cover your face from embarrassment. 

"or were you just jealous?" heesung smirks, leaning back as he watches you struggle to find words to say. 

"why should i be?!" 

"why did you fight her then? she asked for my number i could've gotten a date back there. and maybe like you said, back at the event earlier, i could’ve gotten a good fuck too." he says, shrugging his shoulders. 

how dumb is he? you were so obvious back there. 

"you cannot be serious, come on now heesung. i wasn’t thinking when i said that, it just came out in a flow hee." 

"what? you like me or something y/n? why are you acting like this then?" he asks, leaning forward this time making you hitch your breath as you freeze. you were starting to think he knew what exactly he was doing.

"what are you talking about heesung, stop playing around. it's not funny" you chuckle nervously, leaning back but heesung grabs your arm stopping you in place. 

"you're not denying it love." 

you stay silent, lost at words when heesung's eyes look at yours and then your lips. you knew this was it, if you don’t stop it there's no way you can save the friendship anymore. 

heesung had to stop teasing you like this if it was meaningless. 

"so what heesung? so what if i like you? you don't like me back so why the fuck does it matter? if you're so annoyed about what i did back there just go back and get her number back th—" 

your eyes widens when you feel heesung's lips on top of yours. the feeling was euphoric you couldn’t even think when you immediately caught onto the kiss and kissing him back. 

"you're insane if you still think i don't like you back y/n" heesung says when he pulls away, catching his breath from the kiss you both shared. 

"i truly didn't want to confess in a way like this love but you keep on putting me on the edge by doing things like this— how do you expect me to not fall for you even more when you called me 'your man' back there, that was so smooth. and it felt so right coming from you i can't imagine hearing it from anyone else,'' he says, chuckling when he sees your shocked expression. 

"i like you alot y/n and knowing you, you'll have a hard time processing what i’m about to say but still-. i hope you like me back too. well hopefully because if you don't i'm going to pass out from embarrassment and most probably never face you ever again, because i just ruined our friendship. i see you more than just a friend y/n, i see you as someone i want to experience love with. i want to love you y/n. and trust me when i say you're the most beautiful girl in the entire world. everytime you tell me to go be with other girls i refrain myself from saying you're the only girl i want to be with and just because i didn't want to ruin what we had. even if there were millions of other girls who'd want to be with me, i'll never find you in them. you're my y/n, you're my girl. i don't see myself having breakfast in the noon with any other girl other than you love, or go to the supermarket in the middle of the night all dressed fancy with anyone else because i’m pretty fucking sure that none of those girls from before would even be here doing this with me right now, in the middle of a supermarket’s parking lot, only you darling." 

"or fight over a packet of ramen in a convenience store and then debate who should pay over the ruined ramen y/n— in other words, you're the only girl i wish to be with. i like you alot, so that only leaves me with one more thing" heesung says, taking your hands in his as he rubs his thumb over your hand. 

"i want you to be my girlfriend, i promise to treat you better and more than you deserve, I'll make you the happiest girl in the world love, i give you my word." you were at an absolute loss of words, just tears streaming down your cheeks as you leaned into the back of his hand. 

"i hate you so much"— "i really hate you so much lee heesung" you say, sobbing even when you pull away. you were a mess and heesung seeing you like this isn’t a new sight to him.

"i really thought i never had a chance with you" you cry out, making heesung chuckle, but his chuckle makes you sob even more. 

"why are you laughing, it's not funny!" you whine, hitting his chest when he pulls you into a hug. 

"you're the cutest even when you're crying" 

"you're so annoying." heesung pulls you away from his hug and wipes off your tears before grabbing your face in his hands. 

"is it a yes or no?" he asks, staring into your eyes awaiting the answer that held the fate of your friendship tonight. 

"only a yes if i can kiss you again, hee" you say, grinning when you see heesung's lips grow into a smile again. 

"you'll never hear a no from me when it comes to you love" you lean in, wrapping your arms around his neck, lips molded into each other's as if it was missing puzzle pieces finally reunited.

"heesung's girlfriend, y/n? sounds so right" 

"you're so cliche" 

"only for you, of course!"

to say the least, after that, your relationship bloomed so much more beautifully, and it made you and heesung the happiest you both have ever been. who would've guessed a fight over a ramen could have led into something more. 

you also ended up meeting heesung's mum and got a blessing, she's very fond of you too. you certainly felt like a main character in your version of Crazy Rich Asians, with your very own nick who's Heesung Lee in your version.

read the rest of the series! : sunghoon (1), sunghoon (2), jake, jay

[kim-poce]

Full House - Music Store

A treat.

WAY WAY IN THE FUTURE, like so much in the future.

Masterlist

CW: pet whump, recovery.

=====

"Are you sure you want to do that yourself?" Eri asked after stopping the car, his heart was tightened with worry, "I can go with you if you want."

Little One was looking down and taking a deep breath after another, opening and closing his hands to calm himself down, "I-I feel like I need to do this myself, you don't need to let me, sorry, I just..."

"It's okay," Eri gave him a smile, unlocking the car doors, "I'll be waiting while working on something," he pointed to his laptop, "so take your time," and be safe.

Little One nodded, taking a last deep breath before getting out of the car, he fixed the scarf covering the collar around his neck while walking into the music store.

There were some people talking a bit too loud, some instruments being played a bit too bad, but it was okay, he knew it would be like that, he just need to choose one and buy it.

"Can I help you?" an employee asked when Little One stared at the violin a bit too long, he forced his eyes up to meet hers, swallowing hard before opening his mouth.

"No, t-thank you," he said, closing and opening his fits again, the employee kept looking at him, and for desperate seconds he thought he had been caught, maybe she know he is a pet, maybe he will be beaten and thrown out, maybe he can't do that alone, maybe he can't do anything alone. Maybe–

"Okay, sir, my name is Carla, call me if you need anything," she said with a smile and walked to the next customer, allowing Little One enough room to breathe, to calm down, to keep going.

When he calmed down again he started to look at the instruments more closely, putting his hand in his pocket to be sure the money Eri gave him was still there.

It didn't take long for him to find what he wanted, he looked around before touching it as if he was doing something bad, he isn't, he had to remind himself of that.

Little One knew that was the right one as soon as he started playing, he took another deep breath, it's okay, just pay and get out, just pay and get out. It's simple, even if he doesn't feel like it is while looking at the queue and at the cashier whom he will have no choice but to talk to.

It'll be okay, he told himself, I can do this, I can, I know- I know I can.

-----

Later that day Eri picked up one of his journals and described the whole time of worry he spent alone in the car, he also described the overwhelming relief when Little One came back, hugging his new violin closer.

He was agitated and closed himself into the car as if running away, but he wasn't, Eri recognized it by now, nothing particular upset him, it was just too much, too fast.

"I'm proud of you," Eri said, and he meant it. For a few minutes, the two of them just sat there, calming down and doing nothing.

Eri made sure to note down how happily Little One smiled after that, showing what he brought, not talking yet, but he didn't need to talk to say that he was how proud of himself too.

There are bad days, he thought with himself, stopping writing when the music started in the next room, but there are good days too.

=====

Taglist: @cupcakes-and-pain, @whump-blog, @wolfeyedwitch, @octopus-reactivated, @sufferfictionalcharacters, @rat-father, @badluck990, @onlybadendings, @inpainandsuffering, @mazeish, @neuro-whump, @freefallingup13, @sideblogformindtrash, @extemporary-username, @jadeocean46910, @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight, @melancholy-in-the-morning, @mylifeisonthebookshelf, @neverthelass, @pumpkin-spice-whump, @whumpfessional, @sinning-shipping-trash, @batfacedliar-yetagain, @scp-1296, @dont-touch-my-soup, @menkisser, @nicolepascaline, @rose-pinkie

[liyuesbian]

✧ 101 dalmatians!au [ayaka]

notes: ........this is actually an updated (not rly) version of my 101 dalmatians!au with seulgi on my kpop gg writing blog..... sorryyyy i'm not being lazy i promise!! i've just got back from holiday and am working on a ningguang x reader but it might take a while (i rly wanna perfect it) so this is a placeholder for now :p

you would occasionally spot kamisato ayaka in the park walking her dalmatian. she's well-known around the local area because of her older brother: the mayor of the city. in fact, you also have a dog of the same breed, which is what drew you to her in the first place—minus her eye-catchingly extravagant outfits and cute facial features.

your own dalmatian is wonderful. when you were ten years old, your christmas wish was to get a puppy. much to your younger self’s disappointment, santa claus had gifted you with a rather large—and older—"puppy" than you had imagined in your head. nevertheless, you treated the newly named pongo with as much love as you could give him.

fast forward about ten years later and here is the same pongo eagerly trying to gain your attention as you sit in front of your piano. you’re thinking of how best to go about composing the last few bars of a song you’re working on.

unbeknownst to you, the dalmatian had sneakily altered the time of the clock and is now motioning to the door, howling. you double-check the time on your wristwatch but despite the inconsistency, you decide to go for the daily walk and attach a leash to his collar. it seems like you have no other choice: pongo has your hat between his teeth and is scratching at the door handle. you laugh as you give in to your dog’s contagious enthusiasm, taking your fedora from his mouth.

with the leash in one hand and a ball in the other, you are manhandled—or should i say doghandled—as pongo drags you all the way to the park. he appears to be looking for something, but you dismiss it. you attempt to undo the clasp of the leash, failing when pongo suddenly dashes off.

“slow down, pongo!” you yelp. this kind of high-energy behaviour isn’t new to you but it certainly catches you off-guard. in the end, you let your dog indulge himself in his antics and you’re led to the edge of the lake where you take a seat and gasp for breath. goodness, you don’t think you’ve ever done so much running in your life.

exhausted, you fan yourself with your fedora and loosen the top button on your dress shirt. the grass underneath you feels nice to rest on compared to the wooden chair you’d been sitting on for the whole morning.

it takes you a second to notice your companion gazing at a certain animal behind you. turning around, you recognise the dalmatian who’s seized pongo’s eyes from her pink collar and apprehensively look up to the owner. she’s perched on a bench next to the dog with her signature fan and a book in her hands. in shock, you jerk your head forward and blink a few times.

should we move somewhere else?

as if sensing your uneasiness, pongo barks and jumps to grab your hat. you sigh but grin at his mischievous face.

“come on, pongo. give it back.” taking her eyes off the pages of her book, ayaka glances at you and your dog, the ends of her mouth curving up ever so slightly to form a smile which stays hidden behind the upright fan. you throw the ball lightly in an attempt to get him to drop your hat.

it doesn't quite work and instead, rolls in the direction of the occupied bench. perdita, ayaka's dalmatian, glimpses at it, trying to withhold the urge to play with the bouncy toy. ayaka chuckles which causes you to cease your glaring at pongo to face her. the ringing of her laugh is pleasant and something you haven’t noticed before.

if only i could hear it every day. gently, you hit your cheeks to awaken yourself from your thoughts.

pongo is now frolicking in circles with the captured hat, vying for the attention of ayaka's dog. while you’re battling a two-way argument in your head and one with your dalmatian, you feel a soft nudge on your thigh. perdita has given you the ball back, and you could hear pongo whimpering sadly. impressed, you pet perdita who reacts with a delightful pant. the female dalmatian glances at pongo and apathetically walks back to her owner, who attaches a leash. they start to walk away.

pongo yaps in surprise. quickly, he abandons your hat and is about to take off when you tell him to stay, which he does obediently. you could tell your dog is planning to go after perdita, but you don’t want him running around aimlessly so you fasten his leash.

as soon as you do though, you’re being hauled once again towards kamisato ayaka. the hyperactive dalmatian follows the blue-haired woman and playfully circles her, earning a giggle from the subject of interest. unfortunately for the both of you, your legs have gotten tied to hers.

“oh my, i'm very sorry about this!” you blush. of course, you’ve never been in such close quarters with her before making it all the more embarrassing but you don’t entirely regret this moment either… until you realise that with the both of you frantically trying to get out of the awkward position and your dog pulling at the leash, the result would be all three of you tethering on the edge of the lake and perdita helplessly grabbing onto her owner to prevent the fall.

“oh no.” a splash is heard throughout the park.

clothes damp, you sit in the shallow water in cold shock, finding yourself no longer tangled around the dog leash. next to you, ayaka stands up to try searching for her hat and fan which pongo finds and gives to you with an almost apologetic expression.

“it seems i've lost my belongings,” she says worriedly.

“don’t worry, i have the things you're looking for right here.” you hand her her possessions and fix her hair but to no avail.

“ah, thank you.” you brush her wet bangs to the side so she could see.

“i'm truly very sorry! i don’t know how we ended up in the lake of all things.” you apologise profusely to the bewildered lady and attempt to make things better by removing the plants from her clothes. meanwhile, pongo has shaken himself dry and is relaxing next to perdita.

gosh, what kind of situation have i gotten myself into?

“no, it’s alright, i'll just dry myself off for now.” you see ayaka fetching a… soaked handkerchief from her purse.

“hold on, i usually carry one in my pocket.” however, yours too, is also drenched. “oh—"

ayaka begins to giggle. dumbfounded, you laugh with her. both of your dogs glance at each other and back at the pair of you, cocking their heads. you thought the pleasant sound and amicable smile were the only things about her laughter that could make your heart swell but now, with ayaka right in front of you, you notice things you would’ve never been able to before. you witness how her eyes crinkle and close shut and how her cheeks balloon revealing an even more charming side to her. you wonder what it would be like if you could make her this happy all the time.

after helping ayaka out of the pond, you feel it wouldn’t be right to leave her to go home all doused in water.

“would it be possible to invite you to our house? we live close by so it would be no trouble at all if you want to dry off there. it would probably be very uncomfortable to journey home in this state and i can't bear to watch you attempt to.” shyly, you meet her eyes after your impromptu offer to see ayaka grinning.

“i think i'd like to accept that offer. i suppose it is your fault too!” she quips and jokingly nudges your shoulder.

you smile back and turn to face your dalmatian who you will whisper many thank yous to later in life.

[ichorai]

hi, everybody !! i honestly didn't expect to hit this milestone so soon but since i didn't really get to celebrate 4k with you guys, i decided to celebrate 4.2k !! that's right <3 420(0) followers <3 childish, i know KJWLKSDF

thank you all so much for sticking with me and my teeny little blog :( idk what i did to deserve so many of you following me but !!! i wanted to say thank you guys for everything by opening reqests !!

under the read more cut is a list of dialogue prompts + alternate universes you can request ! send in an ask with a number and a letter (optional) with a person and i'll write you a little drabble <3 (open for ateez, bts, and red velvet!)

it'd also be great if yall could send in asks with characters from my previous fics (i.e rivers over stones' jungkook, cellmates' san, of mages and swords' taehyung, etc.)! not obligatory, ofc !!

dialogue prompts.

"i'm not going to kill you. tempted, i admit, but i'm not going to."

"put the gun down."

"promise me you'll leave."

"i thought you weren't in love with me anymore."

"it's kill or be killed out here. you understand, don't you?"

"think you can take me on? let's dance, baby."

"i like that you're afraid of me."

"soulmates don't exist. and if they did, you're the last person fate would pair me up with."

"why are you being so... sweet? what did you do this time?"

"press me up against a wall and kiss me breathless. or we can go to that yoga class because we have a two-for-one coupon. i'm not picky."

"sometimes i just feel like you're too good to be true."

"can you stop pretending like you hate me? we're literally married."

"i take it you stopped caring about me a long time ago."

"you're my distraction. i'm sorry you thought you were anything more than that."

"if i wanted you dead, the floors would be red by now."

"don't look at me like i'm a hero. i don't deserve that."

"can you put some fucking clothes on?"

"well, contrary to popular belief, i actually have a heart."

"you fixed me." "well, i couldn't just leave you broken, could i?"

"you almost started an apocalypse and you want to order pizza hut?" "... what, would you rather have domino's?"

"i wrote a song for you. well, i didn't actually write it. might have googled up the lyrics to an ed sheeran song. it's the thought that counts, right?"

"it could be worse." "agree to disagree, darling."

"please tell me that's not your blood. wait, no. please tell me that is your blood."

"you have a peculiar way of luring people into bed with you."

"you're one of the most deadliest people in the world and you're working at an ice cream parlor."

"okay, grumpy-pants, will you stop frowning if i stay with you?"

"don't let me go."

"did you miss me?" "everybody thinks you're dead." "didn't answer my question, but i miss you too."

"i know you don't trust me anymore, but i have something to tell you."

"you're a softie deep down. well, i know you could crush me with one hand but you're still a softie to me."

"are we about to kiss right now?" "you're... you're stepping on my foot."

"i'm aware that we're 'enemies' as you like to call it, but i'll have you know that i'm quite fond of you."

"tell me you're real."

"we used to be friends. i don't know what we are now."

"i think i'm in love with you." "could you maybe tell me that when i'm not showering?"

"stop staring at me." "why? does it make you nervous?"

"you make me... feel things that i'm not supposed to. it scares me."

"no, it's alright. i love it, i really do."

"you look ridiculous."

"we work together, nothing more."

"the potion didn't work, did it?"

"we can't do this. what if somebody finds us?"

"where are we?"

"let them go, you bastard!"

"it's three in the morning, what are you doing up?"

"i've waited for you all these years. i'm done waiting."

"i genuinely can't tell if you're joking or not and that's honestly terrifying. don't smile at me like that, jesus."

"you're sexy with a weapon."

"nightmares again? come here."

"what we're doing may be illegal but at least you look amazing."

alternate universes (optional). a. angel au b. apocalypse au c. artist au d. assassin au e. bookstore au f. circus au g. crime au h. demon au i. doctor au j. fantasy au k. ghost au l. hogwarts au m. knight au n. magic au o. medieval au p. pirate au q. reincarnation au r. roommates au s. royalty au t. soulmates au u. space au v. sports au w. superhero au x. villain au y. vampire au z. youtuber au

written drabbles:

the magic of trust - namjoon + 19 + n

mint and minecraft - san + 7 + t

whittled by stars - yunho + 8 + q

supervillains and unicorn bags - wooyoung + 36 + x

florentis - hongjoong + 24 + n

copped out - mingi + 4 + w

sin to win - jin + 50 + a

duck curtains - hongjoong + 35 + r

green sofa - yunho + 31 + l

candlelit - seonghwa + 34 + r

boxed in - mingi + 40 + i

bambi eyes - jungkook + 36 + l

ballroom of ghosts - taehyung + 32 + s

send me an request !!

[tinyboxxtink]

"Caught In The Storm" *Part 4*

I'm telling you ladies and gents, it's like Christmas Morning right now!!!!

Enjoy it for a bit more. <3

Tag List:

@wanniiieeee

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@aprildecker-blog

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@objection-argumentative

@lolliepopsicle

Part 5

----

“Are you sure?” Kelsey asked you.

“I'm telling you it was longer than just a friendly hug,” You insisted.

When you had gotten home after the awkward encounter with Rafael you obviously sat her down and began gossiping about it.

“Well I mean, he told you straight up that he wasn't in love with you honey,” She pointed out.

“And I know that he was full of shit,” you remarked.

“So are you gonna do anything about it?

“I don't know I just wish...ugh that he would admit it,” You groaned in frustration.

“Well.. sweetie he's a grown man you can't exactly force him to do what you want.”

“No.. but I can coerce him,” you smirked evenly.

“Oh god.. I don't even want to know what that means,” she laughed.

-----

Wednesday night rolled around and you arrived at Luigi's early for your “date”. You decided to sit at the bar and have a drink while you waited. You had gone all out for this. You had bought a new dress, you had shaved everywhere, you'd even gotten your hair and makeup done by a professional.

This was it, this was the moment. You nervously played with the napkin your drink came on in your hands, eventually crumbling it in between your fingers from being so nervous.

“Wow I'd love to be the guy on the other end of that napkin you're so nervous about seeing,” A voice came beside you. A very nice looking young man, blonde haired and blue eyed with a killer smile. And that smile was aimed at you.

“Oh yeah just waiting on someone,” You nervously giggled running your hands through your hair

“Well… Do you mind if I wait with you? My date is either running super late or I got stood up,” he laughed, gesturing to the bartender for another drink.

“I'm Nathan, by the way,” He held out his hand for you to take. “Y/N,” You shook his hand back.

“To waiting,” he held up his glass.

“To waiting,” You smiled awkwardly, clinking your glasses together.

Outside the bar, Rafael walked up and saw you in the window, talking to Nathan. He saw how beautiful you looked, and he knew that he would not be able to conceal his true feelings for you if he went in there.

But he wasn't entirely sure that that's what he wanted to do; Even though he had come up with this idea himself. He watched you engaging and flirting with Nathan for a bit before turning and walking back towards another bar. He pulled out his phone and texted you.

You felt your phone vibrate and you checked your phone. It was a text from Rafa

“Sorry I got a bunch of paperwork. Need to stay late. Rain check?

Your heart sank, your face fell.

“Everything okay?” Nathan asked.

“Yeah well it looks like I got stood up too,” You sadly shrugged.

“Well, as long as we're both alone, would you like to get something to eat? “ He asked you with a golden smile.

“Sounds good,” you smiled.

------

“So he just stood you up?”

“Well I don't know. He said that he had a lot of work and that he wanted a rain check,”

“So he stood you up,” Kelsey finished for you.

“Yes he stood me up. I guess it wasn't meant to be,” You shrugged sadly

“So tell me about this new boy,” Kelsey changed the subject.

“I don't know. He's cute, smart, funny, a lawyer and half Rafael’s age,” You went on.

“So basically, perfect for you,” she left.

“Haha.” You rolled his eyes.

“Did you get his number?” Kelsey asked coyly.

“Maybe…” you smiled.

“Oh my God look at you, work it girl!” She giggled.

“Who knows if it'll go anywhere.. I lost my heart a long time ago,” You shrugged.

“Yeah well maybe it's time for you to take it back,'' Kelsey replied seriously.

-------

THE NEXT DAY

So what do we think our best tactic is? Olivia asked a spaced out Rafael. “Rafael? BARBA?”

“What?” Rafael was knocked back to Earth out of his thoughts. “Sorry Liv, what was the question?”

“Boy you have been somewhere else all day,'' Fin remarked. What is up with you?”

“Yeah I did dinner with Y/N not go well?” Nick asked.

“What?” Finn was suddenly interested.

“No it didn't go at all, because I didn't go,”

“Why not? Sonny asked.

“I think we all know why not..”. Rafael murmured.

“Are you serious?” Finn asked angrily. “Why would you do that?”

Rafael looked at him surprised. “I’m sorry, what?” He asked.

“Rafa…” Olivia started.

“What? WHAT?? He looked around the table for an answer.

"Look it's one thing for you to date Y/N, it's a whole other problem when you fuck with her emotions,” Fin answered.

“What are you talking about, Fin?” Rafael asked, completely oblivious.

“What do you mean, what do I mean?” He asked back angrily.

“I think we all saw the little song and dance you guys did the other day when she came to bring us lunch,” He looked around the table and the squad who all nodded.

“That girl is seriously in love with you and I think you feel the same,” Finn continued. "And I might not like it, but I also don't want to see her unhappy. So if you got her hopes up, and then you ditched her, you better go fix it right now.”

“...And you would be okay with that?” Rafael asked. “All of you?” He looked around the table.

“I'm not thrilled with the idea either,” Olivia sighed. But I also want Y/N to be happy, no matter what that means.” She put a hand on Rafael’s shoulder.

“And also, I want you to be happy.”

Rafael took several seconds looking back and forth, his mind reeling trying to figure out what he should do. Finally he stood up.

“I’m gonna do this,” He smiled, running out of the station before anyone could answer.

-----

Rafael didn't know exactly what he was going to say to you, but he knew he'd know in the moment as soon as he saw you.

He grabbed an Uber and told him to book it to the Supper Club. When he got there, he immediately went to go find you. He spotted you through the crowd looking gorgeous as ever. He made his way over to you but right before he got to you, he saw Nathan walk up to you and kiss you deeply.

His heart sank, his blood ran cold, his face turned pale. How could this have happened?

“They make a cute couple, don't they?” a voice behind him asked. He turned to see Kelsey standing there with an evil smile.

“I don't understand…” Rafael trailed off, still staring at you and the man.

“What's to understand Rafael?” Kelsey asked, approaching him.

“You toyed with her emotions, you stood her up, you rejected her. Did you really think that she would sit around and pine for you forever?”

“But she and I…” Rafael stammered.

“If you think for one second that I'm going to let you walk over there and confuse her even more, you're stupider than I thought.” Kelsey snarled.

“I don't want to confuse her anymore Kelsey!” He exclaimed. I want her... I love her,” Rafael said emotionally.

“If you really love her, then you'll let her be happy,” Kelsey replied.

Don't you think she needs to have all of the information to make that decision herself? Rafael sneered.

“I think that you're just upset that somebody else is playing with your toys and you don't like it,” Kelsey sneered back.

“That's not true!” Rafael defended.

“I think that you took too long to figure out what you want and now that she's finally moving on, you need to let her,'' Kelsey lowered her voice.

“I…” Rafael looked at you with Nathan sadly, tears lining his eyes.

“If you really love her then you need to let her go,'' Kelsey said softly, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Rafael looked at you then he looked at Kelsey then back at you and then down at the floor.

“You're right…” Rafael whispered tears falling down his cheeks.” It's not fair to her.. I'll leave her be,”

“Thank you,'' Kelsey said. And with that Rafael turned and left.

[selimunfridhirako]

Shinji Hirako x Reader

💜 The First Date💜

A/N: I haven't been writing much and I do deeply apologize for that, again this is my secondary account, my first is @targaryens-blog I'm no longer allowing submissions no longer accepting requests at this time but for selimunfridhirako I'll have the ask box open if anyone would like to send anons just chatting or discussing topics. now that's out of the way I am taking a break from writing bnha/mha and will be focusing on creating Bleach content! I'll be tagging a few of my favorite bleach blogs I've found while trying to find good ol bleach content writers and here's a few to list^^@shinji-slut @sexintheseireitei @seireiteisins @hirako5hinji @buriedinbleach @jazzandzanpakutos @theseireitei @thesecondcircleofkel

First I know none of us talk I'm just simply a fan of all your works and you all inspired me to write bleach again your all my favs and truly hope you never give up writing for your favorite fandoms. This is my first official time writing for Shinji Hirako and I guarantee it won't be as good lol but that's the point! I just wanna write whether it's good or not. Please enjoy this scenario! Also tagging @so---ft & @fi16ns ! Much love

-Tara

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Word count: 17k

Warnings ⚠️: minor Alcohol use

Pairing: Shinji Hirako x Fem reader

Prompt: You finally worked the courage to ask Shinji on a date after years of pinning after the male. How will this might turn out?

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*You shouldn't be this nervous. Twiddling your thumbs and eyes down casted. Your head soon followed the sound of Shinji's voice, complaining about being hungry. You giggled mostly to yourself before sighing. Your heart soars everytime he's near, shake your head when hiyori and him are having their little spats, you go out of your way to even bring the blonde new magazines to read for his downtime. Way more than you'd like to admit. Your friend nudges you and smiles. "Just ask him if you guys can talk privately, it'll be okay." They say. Oh how easy you wish it could actually be. To work up such a courageous act to simply ask a man on a date. It'd be much easier if he would do it instead. Girls don't ask boys out, do they?. Finally after minutes chewing on your bottom lip you finally stood from where you sat and casually sauntered over to where he was sitting on the couch. Face in hand, his light brown eyes scanned the room before landing on your frame. He noticed you're tense shoulders and opted to sit upright and his attention on you to hopefully ease you Of whatever nervousness you're feeling. "Shinji.. Can we go outside and talk?." He smiles sweetly before placing his magazine on the couch, forgotten and getting up to follow you out. Now here, him standing in front of you, the idea seemed far more difficult than before. His slouched position and hand in his pocket, his free hand begun scratching the back of his head not knowing what to do now. You start to feel your chest feel extremely heavy, and heart begun to drop in your stomach just by his body language. You were scared shitless on what to do now. "Nice day out, huh?." You said trying to start some small talk.*

*Shinji's head looked up towards the clear blue sky before mumbling a "Yeah." In agreement and leaning his back against the wall of the warehouse for support. Shit. This couldn't get any worse. Your eyes closed and mentally slapped yourself at how pathetic you were being choosing to play with the hem of your sweater instead. Little did you know that Shinji was watching your every move and expression in his peripheral. And decided to break the ice for you.*

*"So, whatdya need ta talk ta me bout'?." **Your (eye/color) eyes finally met his calm one's. Feeling ease creeping into your every fiber and relaxing, but only a little. "Well, I. I just wanted to know-. " you made a humming sound through your nose and rubbing your arm to calm your nerves. * *'just. Ask. Him'*

*"Date.. With. Me?." Silence. All that could be heard was the sound of the wind rustling the loose leaves on the street. Soon though, his smile grew into his signature smile and his eyes twinkled.*

*"Yer askin' me out on a date (Name)?."*

*You couldn't Shake your head any faster almost causing you to get dizzy at the eagerness. Before a soft smile shown on your features.*

*"Y-Yes! If. You want to.." Why were you so nervous? You've been on dates before? But then again asking first was singlehandedly the hardest thing you've ever done.*

*"Hmpf. Nev'a been asked by a cute girl before. T'sound nice. When is it?." His smooth voice rang in your ears and heart lept with excitement.*

*"How's 7:30 pm?."*

_______________________________________

Here now in your room, You stared at your reflection for the 20the time, finding something new that needed touched up and make-up to be reapplied. Fixing your hair and smoothing down the dress giving yourself another look over. The dress your friend helped you pick out was stunning. White knee length, with semi thick straps that connected in the back with a lace design. With floral flowers in the color of pinkish red and a sash that wrapped around your waist. Final thing to top off was a white and black laced shawl you'll use to wrap around your arms and a simple hand bag for your phone makeup and wallet. You felt that since you were the one that asked him out, you figured it be appropriate to pay for the two of you as well. Role reversed much?. You let out a soft laugh.

Hearing you're phone beep, you quickly pulled it out of your purse before checking the message

Shinji 🎷:*Hey doll, M'Here."*

A dust of Pink adorned your cheeks while you let out a giggle from the nickname he gave you, before dashing off from your room to meet him at the front door. Opening the door, Shinji turned to the sound, adorning in a white button up shirt with a black tie, suspenders, black slacks with a nice pair of white and black dress shoes and holding a dark blue jacket on his forearm. He pulls his sunglasses up on his head and gave a modest whistle. "Yer lookin great (Name). N' all dressed up fer me?." He became so comfortable with that statement that he landed a hand on your waist to pull you closer getting a wiff of your nice smelling perfume and shampoo. "Gorgeous."

You smiled looking down at the ground, pulling a stray hair behind your ear.

"You're looking incredible yourself Shinji." He scoffs.

"Nah. This ole' thing?. Ts'been collecting dust."

You playfully slapped his chest before walking down the steps to the side walk. "So I was thinking about this nice restaurant I seen walking with (friends/name), wanna check it out?."

Shinji threw his palm up to stop you.

"No darlin. This one on me. I know a good place." Taking your hand in his he throws his jacket over his shoulder and proceeds down the street to a jazz club downtown. During the walk you soon discovered he called ahead and even made a reservation. Your mouth hung open and gawked at how fast he moved. You had only asked him out that morning and already he's made arrangements? Your heart wasn't sure how much you could handle this man.

After sometime walking you made it to a building called *'Cocktails and Dreams'*. Shinji opened the door for you and followed inside. The room was not too dark, but not too light, there was red leather booths sitting along the walls and small rectangular tables wrapped in red satin silk filling the middle of the room, and at the end of the room stood a beautiful stage with red, blues, pinks and purple stage lights. A piano, saxophone, a couple electric guitars and a cello sitting on their perks with band mates beginning their routine. The smell of cigars and delicious food filled your senses as you looked around. There wasn't many people here, probably regulars and some folks sitting at the bar upon entering the building and to top off this classy place soft jazz music played. Filling your soul with something it hasn't felt in many years. Warmth and happiness.

You were brought from your thoughts when the waitress walked past you. "Your booth is this way sir." Shinji threw his arm around your waist and led you to where you'll be seated together. He leaned down to whisper in your right ear. "So, whatcha think doll face.? Yer kinda place?." Your spine shivered with anticipation and licked your lips before responding. "It's perfect." Whilst making eye contact. He smirks, when the waitress took the card off the table she gestured the two of you to sit while she asked you two what drinks to start with. Shinji allowed you to slide in first before following suit. "Ya wanna alcoholic beverage or just water fer now?." He asked leaning towards you with that smile you love so much. "Water for now please." He nodded, "Two waters."

The waitress wrote it down and set two menus for you both to look over. Even the menu was fancy. "Ya wanna talk first then order? Or jus order than talk?." You smiled before placing the menu down. Sitting your chin in both your palms you leaned towards Shinji looking directly at him. He scooted closer to the point of your legs touching and threw his arm on top the booth chair behind you. He looked easy going and relaxed. Eyes half lidded while he looked at you through his lashes. You couldn't help but move in next to him and laying your head on his shoulder. This display of physical intimacy surprised the both of you before he let out a hearty chuckle.

"Where's'tha blushy nervous cutie who asked me out this mornin? M'not sure why but I'm enjoyin this kinda attention." You laughed with him. "I don't know. I guess once the jitters wore off happiness replaced it." You felt his head tilt to peer at the crown of your head. "Yer happy?." You hummed in agreement. Before lifting to look at him face to face. "To be honest I've been pinning after you for awhile." You looked down at the table. His smile faded into a slight frown. "But.. Seeing the way you flirted with girls. I felt I'd never have a chance. Till' this morning." His smile was completely gone but he replaced it with a smirk when you looked back at him. "M'Sorry doll. Nev' expected ya ta even gimme a second glance." You rolled your eyes.

"Well of course I did!." You giggled while he feigned fake hurt. By this time the waitress walked back with your waters and placed them down. Shinji moved to collect them. But you felt the women's presence lurking. You looked up at her and she was staring directly at Shinji, "Are you ready to order now, sir?." He gave a curt nod your way as to ask you as well, when you picked up the menu you quickly picked the chef's choice, as you were nervous to take too long, Shinji picked the same one before handing the menu back to the lady. "Thank you I'll have that right out to you, sir." Before walking away. For some reason you couldn't help but feel as if she disregarded your presence and only noticed Shinji. He turned back to you.

"(Name)." You turned your head his way. "Yeah?." He held your hand in his lap tracing patterns on your skin. "Wanna dance?." You beamed before nodding excitedly. He slid out the booth with your hands still connected before pulling you to your feet and towards the dance floor. The music wasn't too fast but not too slow, and soon he begun spinning you in slow circles before pulling you close to his frame. You giggled. You could feel your hands getting clammy at the closeness as your hands moved to lay atop his shoulders while he swayed and twirled with you on the dance floor. A couple times you had accidentally tripped or stepped on his foot, mumbling apologies while he shrugged it off. He taught you a few jazz moves before doing the signature twirl and dip. His left arm wrapped securely around the mid of your back while the other held your hand. He leaned in close to your face, a blush creeping incredibly fast, heart thumping in your chest. Your eyes widened as his face kept inching closer to yours, your eyes slowly closed Before he landed a soft sweet longing kiss on your forehead and bringing you back upright to his chest. The music ended and people hollered and clapped before music transitioned into a soft melody again.

Grabbing his hand, you both sat back down while laughing amongst yourselves and by then the food arrived. Two words. Mouth watering. House salad with shrimp and steak and to top it off you both ordered a coconut breeze martini to go with the meal. Needless to say you were thankful he picked the place, you knew jazz was his thing and boy did he deliver. You both chatted about music, movies and other favorite topics. Going as far as to critique little details within each topic. His laughs were genuine and sweet. Something you never heard before now, and his body language wasn't so much as lazy and uncaring as most times, but attentive and serious while still retaining his comical behaviour. Everything was perfect, he listened to everything you said chiming in time to time to put in his opinions and comments while you did the same with him. Slight brushing of leg and arms, and occasionally leaning towards the other, lips caressing each other's cheeks while you spoke. Needlessly to say, you begun to get a slight buzz from the alcohol a red hue tinting your cheeks. Your giggles and eye smiles were the cutest thing Shinji had ever seen. You were far more relaxed and open with jokes. After two hours sitting and talking and eating, the waitress had come back for the final time to ask if you two wanted anything else, and if Shinji would like the bill. You went to reach for your purse to pay, but Shinji had moved his palm up to stop you as he did before. "It's on me darlin. I'm the man, 'mayyybe' next time ill'have ya pay." Your eyes widened for the up tenth time that night, trying to argue back that it was your treat. And then it hit you. *'next time ill'have ya pay.'*

Your hands shot up to hold your cheeks and stared at Shinji in shock. He laughed watching as you turned away with the brightest blush, *"he said next time? He wants to go out with me again?"* you squealed to yourself. Shinji watched with a soft smile as you had your monologue before seeing the waitress hand him the check, he thanked her before her hand touched his shoulder in a flirtatious way, his eyes narrowed at her gesture.

"I hope you have a nice night sir." She gave him a sultry smile and a wink before walking off to serve another round of tables. He scoffs, upon opening the check he seen a piece of torn paper with a note along with a number written on it. He scoffs again; *'if you want to spend a night with a real women, call me ;)-' (xxx) -xxx- xxxx'*

He makes quick work of the paper after writing the amount on the bill then left a note for the waitress. He didn't even bother to wait for her to collect the check before he insisted you and him leave for a walk. He slides out, taking your hand in his and helping you out of the booth and putting his hands on your hips to follow you outside.

The waitress had walked eagerly back to your tables to collect the check and plates. Quickly opening the check with anticipation before her face fell in disappointment.

*'Thanks, but I got a real women. Oh, and ya not gettin a tip :) hav'a nice night.'*

____________________________

the walk was even more peaceful, not so much chatting, just making small comments about the scenery or how well the food and music was.

Your eyes turned to look at Shinji. "I didn't want to bring this up, but I felt that the waitress-. " Shinji stiffened.

"Didn't like me very much." He hummed. "S'fine dollface. I took care of it." Your heart swelled you could hear your friends voice echoing through your head. *"Cuff him. Cuff him."*

You let out laugh to which caused Shinji to turn his head. "Wha'so funny?." You Shook your head and squeezed his hand, by this time you both had made it to your home. He walked you to your door. "Well. This is me." He begun to slouch and scratch his head again mumbling to himself. The action would've made you think he was disinterested but the light pink hue dusting his cheeks told another story. You laughed at him and placed a hand on his upper arm drawing him from his thoughts. His soft brown eyes scanned your features before walking closer to you holding your hand in his with utmost care.

"Shinji."

"Yes dear?."

"Can. We do this again?."

He smiles. "Absolutely."

It was your turn to smile. Before your hands followed his arms up to his shoulders, and stopping at where his neck connects, soft hands wrapping where his neck starts and peering into his eyes with heated passion. You sighed softly smelling his expensive cologne.

"(Name)."

"Yes?."

"May I, kiss ya now?. Fer real this time."

You stood on your tiptoes to get closer to his face. Pulling his face only centimeters away from where you wanted him the most. Your lips were parted for him, his eyes lowered from her irises to your parted pink lips.

Before finally closing the gap to a kiss as Swift and loving as the first shine of sun adorning the horizon. And left little to the imagination of his feelings towards you. You wish you could say the kiss was short but you both held it for as long as your lungs could allow, before finally parting for air at last.

Breathless and full of love.

"I'll see ya tomorrow yeah?." You nodded excitedly before pulling him in for a hug. "Goodnight shinji. Thank you for a wonderful time."

He gives you one more squeeze before letting you go and walking in the direction of the warehouse. You leaned against your front door after sighing dreamily to yourself. You should ask him out more often.

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END.

A/N: hope this was amazing unfortunately my computer is down so I had to do all of this on mobile and wasn't able to put a Read More™ link. It was supposed to be a short one shot to get me started but inspiration bug hit so I apologize for the long post. I hope you enjoyed, my ask box for this side blog is open feel free to slide in and say hi! Love you all and more works will be upcoming ~ stay tuned. Much love

- Tara 🐉🔮

[imperial-martian]

Standing Tall {Atticus Finch x Reader}

A/N: so, I hadn’t realized Atticus didn’t go to high school when I was writing this. After I wrote this I passed the part in the book. Mind you, I had watched the movie first. Also, keep in mind, this is my first time ever writing for Atticus. If you want me to write more, than I can turn this account into a multi-fandom blog.

Teen! Atticus x Teen! Reader

Angst/Fluff

(High School AU, Bullying, Third Person Point of View)

•—•

The young h/c haired, e/c eyed girl knew from the moment she woke up that morning that it was going to be an awful day. Mondays were always awful, as well as Tuesday and the rest of the week until finally, the weekend came around.

Golden hues of the sunlights rays shined in through her white curtains, lighting up her bed and allowing for the covers to become warmer than the temperature they had been throughout the night. Knowing that it was time to get up and head off to school, Y/N pushed her covers aside and swung around to sit on the edge of her bed.

She rubbed at her eyelids, blinking a few once she removed her knuckles before she pushed herself up from the bed and made her way towards her wardrobe. Pulling open the uncared wooden drawer, hearing the awful scraping sounds that over time would begin to wear out the wood, she pushed aside some clothes before finding her uniform.

The jumper was a grey, blue, and stripes of gold patterned to look like some sort of checkers board, underneath was a sky blue button-up and black tie, and over the top of both of those was a black sweater vest. Her shoes were an unpolished leather black loafers that slipped over the top of knee-high navy stockings.

Y/N hated the uniform, but she's dealt with it for twelve years, and with two more years left to go for high school it was bearable. She wasn't ready for the morning yet, still managing to brush her teeth, brush her hair and wrap it into a neat ponytail before making her way to the kitchen where she was greeted with her parents.

Her father was reading the newspaper, already dressed in his formal suit. Her mother was in a yellow sundress by the stove, cooking them all breakfast while Zala, the maid, set the table.

"Good morning mother," she greeted with a kiss on her cheek. Then she moved over to her father, kissing him on the cheek as well. "Hello father, a new case today?" she asked, nodding to the briefcase on the floor beside him.

Her father looked up from over the newspaper, his f/e/c eyes gazing over to his daughter before he snapped the newspaper shut and nodded, a small smile resting on his face.

"Indeed, Y/N, unfortunately, I can't bring you to school because of said case. I have to head to the court early," he explained, giving her a sympathetic smile before glancing at his pocket watch. "Which reminds me, I should be heading out now," he said, standing and fixing his blazer before grabbing his case and leaving the papers discarded on the table.

"You do well at school, won't you? Be careful on your walk there," Y/N's father chided before standing after he received a nod

Her father walked towards Y/N before kissing the top of her head and patting her shoulder, then moved towards her mother whom to which he gave a small kiss to before waving goodbye to Zala and taking his leave.

Y/N watched her father leave before turning to Zala to finally say good morning.

"I'm sorry to ask mother, but since father can't bring me to school is it all right if I head out early today?" she asked, already readying her backpack as she spoke.

Her mother turned to look at her from over her shoulder. "That's fine by me dear, but here," she said, grabbing some toast and an apple, "take this with you and eat it on your way there."

Y/N nodded her head, giving her mom a wide, thankful smile before grabbing the apple and toast. "Thank you mother, goodbye, and have a nice day. You too Zala, I'll see you after school."

Zala smiled towards her and nodded, "you behave Miss L/N," she teased before walking her towards the door. "Guess I'll only be setting the table for two this morning," she said, holding the door open for Y/N.

Y/N laughed softly before heading out and waving back to Zala before beginning her dreadful walk to school. It was interesting to see how quickly her mood had changed as soon as the thought of school had entered her head. It was unfortunate, especially since Y/N loved going to school. She loved to learn. However, there were people there that she simply could not push aside. She couldn't stand up for herself. There were too many.

The girl had been unaware of the young, yet still older, boy walking behind her. Atticus Finch, a young, bright man on his third year of high school, was trailing behind Y/N in a sky blue button-up, navy tie, and black dress pants. He wore a black belt that matched his leather shoes which were polished till they were spotless. His dark brown, almost black, hair was parted perfectly and the matching colored eyes were hidden behind circular glasses that rested against the bridge of his nose.

Usually, a book would be resting in his hands that allowed his brown eyes to travel every word, picking apart each sentence with little care as to what or who was around him. However, today was different. Atticus was without a book, his hands even shoved into his pockets, and his brown eyes were scanning his surroundings rather than words on paper.

Atticus has been walking at a decent pace when Y/N had begun to walk in front of him. He had decided to pick it up a little till he caught up to her so that they walked side by side.

"Morning Y/N," Atticus greeted, startling her slightly, not because she didn't know somebody was standing beside her, but because she didn't know it was Atticus standing beside her.

She swallowed, eventually attempting to speak. "Atticus!" she exclaimed. "Good morning," she continued in a much more silent, shallow tone.

Atticus had only turned his head to look at the girl, giving her a soft smile as they walked side by side. Y/N's hands couldn't stop themselves from going up to the straps of her backpack and gripping onto them until her knuckles were white. She was terribly nervous, looking around as if she was looking for somebody.

"Hey Atticus?" she questioned, gaining his attention. "Where is your sister?"

"She has left early to walk with Maudie. She had said something about wanting to study for a test, however, it was clear as day that she was lying," Atticus chuckled, shaking his head a little.

Y/N frowned. "Ah, I see," she mumbled before turning her head to look off towards the houses that aligned the street.

Atticus, although noticing the sudden frown on the girl's face, said nothing, only continuing to silently walk beside her. He did, however, reach out a hand towards her, lightly placing his fingers against her arm in order to console her for whatever negative thought made her so sad.

Y/N's head snapped to the side, glancing down at the soft brush of fingers on her arms before she looked back up to Atticus' chocolate brown eyes. Her h/c eyes were filled with fear, not because she was afraid of Atticus himself, but God forbid Alexandra caught sight of this, her hell of a day at school would be as if she was burning in fire- like a slow and painful death.

Atticus has since removed his hand from her arm, placing it back into his pocket. "I didn't mean any harm by the action. I only wanted to offer some reassurance," the boy explained when he recognized that the girl was still in some deep thought.

Y/N blinked. "Oh no, Atticus, I-" she broke off, frustrated with herself for causing Atticus to think that he had made her uncomfortable. She stopped speaking after that, only because their school had come into view and the fright that she had felt just moments ago covered up the frustration she felt.

The bell went off the minute that they had stepped into the schoolyard, and quickly students began to disperse and head off to different classes.

"Hopefully I'll see you again before the day ends, Y/N. I wish you luck in all your classes," Atticus stated, offering Y/N one last smile before he headed in the direction of his class, just barely hearing the murmured 'you too,' that was returned.

The young girl knew it was best for her to head to class, and yet she was far too hesitant to take a step towards the direction she had to go. It didn't help when she caught the eyes of Maudie and Alexandra from the class windows.

Quickly, she averted her gaze, making her way into the school and walking the halls until she arrived at her class, only to be blocked off by the two girls she had caught the eyes of moments ago.

For a moment, she thought that the girls would shove her back in order for them to intimidate her, but when a hand reached out and grabbed at her collar the poor girl began to shake like a leaf.

"Why don't you tell us what you were doing with Atticus this morning, Y/N?" Alexandra, the one who grabbed at her, questioned while Maudie stood beside her to keep an eye out for the teacher.

Y/N didn't say a word. She never did when she was shoved around and questioned by these two, but this was different. Today she was trapped in Alexandra's grip. When her hand tightened a little, her knuckles digging into the skin of Y/N's neck, she gritted her teeth.

"What were you doing with my brother? I won't ask again you good for nothing twat," Alexandra demanded, her eyes searing with rage.

Y/N closed her eyes. "I wasn't doing anything with him. We walked to school near each other. That's all!" she exclaimed defensively, trying to assure Alexandra that she wasn't trying to do any harm.

"What did he say to you before he walked off to class then?"

"He wished me a good day," Y/N explained.

Just as Alexandra was about to speak again Maudie tapped at her urgently. "Mrs. Wooder is coming!" she warned.

Alexandra let go, taking a step back into the classroom where all the other students were huddled in their own cliques. She smiled, a sinister smile, towards Y/N before moving to take her seat.

Maudie brushed past Y/N, purposefully knocking at the girl in the doorway before taking her own seat. Y/N did the same.

Mrs. Wooder entered the classroom, slamming a heavy book against her desk like always to gain the attention of all the students. "Everybody take your seat," she said in a low, threatening tone. Everyone listened.

The class started soon after.

When lunch and recess finally came, Y/N had already endured her berating of words from Maudie, Alexandra, and their little followers. Each day seemed to be worst than the last, and today was no exception. Actually, it seemed far worse than she had thought it was originally going to be.

Their words were no longer solely aimed towards her, but family and others she cared deeply for, such as Zala. It was disgusting what she was told. It was times like these where the young girl hated herself. It was only ever times like these that she felt that way.

During lunch, Y/N did her best to sit as far away from the little group that constantly berated her. Of course, it wasn't far enough. Somebody realized and urged everybody else to join in and bother her.

Y/N said nothing. She sat there silently, enjoying the packed lunch that her mother had made while insults, threats, and other disgusting words were thrown at her.

It wasn't until she felt a hard kick to her side, one so hard that it must have left her rib bruised, that she finally acknowledged them. After a short coughing fit due to the impact, she stood, instantly getting pushed back into the wall she was leaning against.

For a moment, Y/N did nothing at all. She simply looked up at the girl who had pushed her. Maudie stood there, a grin on her face.

Y/N clenched her teeth and jaw, her hands clenching into first and crinkling the paper bag that was in her hand. She couldn't stop herself when she lurched forward and pushed back at Maudie. She did it with so much force that Maudie fell to the ground.

Y/N didn't pay attention to the damage she had done, just taking advantage of the shock of the group before sprinting inside after tossing the lunch out. She quickly made her way to class, waiting there with a few other students until the bell went off again.

She had no idea what damage she had done to Maudie, nor did she want to. She was already shaking so much in fear, she didn't want to know what would happen when Alexandra came back in. It was clear that she would be taught a lesson and not one by the teacher.

Thankfully, her next class was with none of the girls she feared at the moment, and for once she hoped that this class would end up lasting hours if it meant she could avoid them. Unfortunately, the class did not last long, actually feeling as though time went by faster than usual.

The final bell went off, and as students began to file out, Y/N took her time in packing up. When she could no longer stall anymore, she hesitantly made her way out of the class, looking around. To no one's surprise, Alexandra and the others stood before her.

Without even allowing Y/N to blink, the palm of somebody's hand met her cheek. The sound echoed down the halls.

"You twat," Alexandra spit out at her. "Your little stunt sent Maudie to the nurse. She's got a bruised back 'cause of you."

Alexandra has prepared to slap her again, winding her hand back. Y/N closed her eyes, tensing as she waited for the impact.

"That's enough Alexandra!" a deep voice called out from, what seemed to be like, the end of the hall. "You lay a hand on Y/N and I will have to report you to the head office, as well as mother and father. Blood or not I will not allow you to lay a hand on somebody, especially one that does not deserve it."

Y/N opened her eyes, tilting her head a bit to see that the one who had stopped Alexandra was Atticus. She felt the grip on her drop. Taking a deep breath, Y/N stepped back.

Alexandra didn't say a word, shocked that her own brother had caught what she had done.

Atticus stepped forward again, standing in front of Y/N to shield her from the crowd. "I shall see you at home, for now, I'll be walking Y/N back to her house. I expect not a word from anybody. If anyone dares to touch her again, I may not let you all off with a simple warning next time," Atticus explained to everyone before looking at his sister once more. "You and I shall have a word when I get home."

Without another word, or waiting for a response from anybody else, Atticus took hold of Y/N's hand and began to walk out of the school. Y/N could tell that although Atticus was angry, he didn't dare show to what extent. He never let his anger show or take over his actions. He was always true to himself and acted accordingly to the situation presented to him. He was never out of line.

"Thank you," Y/N whispered to him meekly, walking beside him with her head down.

Atticus looked over towards her, taking a moment to access her. He gently grabbed her by the shoulders, turning her so that she faced him. He examined the bright red handprint across her cheek, the small purple bruises on her neck from Alexandra's knuckles, and the hand that Y/N placed over her side.

"I'll have to check you over when we get to your house. Your rib may be damaged worse than we think. I only want to make sure you don't need to visit any doctors," Atticus explained. "I'll explain to your mother what had happened, it's only right that I take the blame for my sister's actions. God knows how long she has been doing this to you," Atticus continued, shaking his head in disappointment.

Y/N felt tears in her eyes due to how grateful she felt. Not once did Atticus ask her why she never told him what was happening, or why she continued to let it happen. He just understood. He could question her all the way to her house with questions, and yet he only focused on his main priorities; tending to her wounds and explaining what's happened to her parents.

The walk was dreadful for Atticus, not because of the silence that filled the air, but because of the noises that did. No matter how quiet you tried to be, he could hear her small winces whenever she took a step that was just a little bit of a stretch.

He wondered what the emotional damage that Y/N had taken on was like, but again, he never asked. He could ask his sister for questions like that.

Once they finally arrived back to Y/N's house, Atticus walked up to the door and knocked on it. He shifted his arm a little, both his backpack and Y/N's- that he took when they first began walking -adjusting so that they wouldn't slide off his shoulder.

The door was opened by Zala who instantly could tell that something wasn't right.

"Mr. Finch?" she questioned, tilting her head.

Atticus offered the best smile he could, which was barely one at all. "Hello Zala, may I ask that you assist Y/N to her room, please? If you could also direct me to the first aid?" Atticus asked gently, trying to be as kind as he could even though he wanted to rush everything.

Zala, although confused, and now worried, nodded. "Of course," she nodded, taking Y/N's hand and walking up the stairs. Atticus entered behind them, wiping off his shoes and placing the backpacks by the door.

"Mr. and Mrs. L/N?" Atticus asked, peeking his head into the kitchen where he spotted Y/N's parents sitting at the table.

Their heads turned to look at the door. Mrs. L/N was the first on her feet, walking towards the young boy. "Atticus, what brings you here?" she asked, giving him a sweet smile.

"That's what I'd like to discuss," he explained, entering farther into the room. He took a deep breath as Y/N's parents shared a glance with one another, concern being the most present feature on their faces. A moment later Atticus began to explain everything.

He had finished doing that after a few minutes, excusing himself so that he could go and tend to Y/N while her parents spoke to one another about the situation, giving the two their space before they would go to speak with their daughter.

Atticus made his way upstairs, knocking on Y/N's door once he arrived. A small, 'enter,' was murmured from the other side of the door. He gently pushed the door in, walking into the room and noticing that Zala was applying a little ointment on Y/N's cheek.

She finished within the next minute and made her way towards the door, giving Atticus a small thanks for being so thoughtful as to make sure Y/N was taken care of and to even explain to her parents what had happened. Atticus only returned the thanks with a smile and nod before walking towards Y/N.

"May I sit beside you?" Atticus asked, doing so when she nodded. He let out a little sigh, turning so that he could look at her. He didn't say another word, simply observing as Y/N looked down at the floor before finally she met his gaze.

"Thank you, again. You didn't need to do this for me," Y/N said sincerely.

Atticus chuckled gently, shaking his head a little. "Of course I did. I couldn't watch somebody be beaten by my own blood, especially not somebody I deeply care for," Atticus replied, giving her a sincere smile.

Y/N struggled to speak for a moment, not able to find the right words. After a few minutes of silence she finally built up the courage to ask, "Atticus, how deeply do you care for me?"

Atticus took a moment to think, leaning his hands against the mattress a little as he thought of an answer to those questions. He'd only been able to come to one conclusion, and it was one that he had known for a while but wouldn't admit to. Not until now.

He couldn't seem to express his care for her in words but decided to resort to actions. Atticus gently took Y/N's face in his hands, being mindful of her cheek. He tilted her head up towards him, allowing his thumb to gently stroke her skin before he closed his eyes and connected their lips in such a soft and tender kiss that would end up leading to many more for years to come.

[giffex]

Anders (post-coitus): Your hair's getting long...

DA2 Act 2, After the Deep Roads

Leandra: you're that Mage fellow my boy's so taken by...

Anders: Indeed I am

Leandra: Garrett just left but he should be back soon. He never stops talking about you, you know? I'm so glad he's been able to find someone like you since Bethany's left

Anders: you're... too kind, Mrs. Hawke

Leandra: please, call me Leandra. Oh, come and sit down! I'm so happy to finally put a face to the name. You're very handsome~ I can see why my boy likes you so much

Anders: well, Leandra, I can certainly see where Hawke gets his good looks from

Leandra: -and he's charming too! You know, I've met that Isabela girl he travels so much with. I was starting to worry about the company he was keeping on those long trips

Anders: we're lucky he's only interested in men. With how good those two get along, I'd be obsolete

Leandra: oh I highly doubt that, he adores you and I can tell

Anders (with a soft grin): I'm afraid his adoration of me may only lead him into trouble

Leandra: nonsense, that boy runs into trouble hourly. There's nothing you could put him through that he can't figure his way out of

Anders: I hope that's true

Leandra (proudly): it is. Some problems take longer for him to sort out than others, but all in all, Garrett will always walk through that door victorious and in a desperate need of a haircut

Anders: so, you're the one I have to blame for cutting his hair after it's grown out, haha! He has a gorgeous head of hair why would you do such a thing?!

Leandra: oh, I'm well aware! But he hasn't been able to keep it from getting singed longer than a week since the twins were born!

Anders: oh my...

Leandra: He used to fight me tooth and nail as a boy but he quickly learned. I shave it down every time he returns home from a long trip. Now, I think it's become so routine that he looks forward to it, even if he doesn't actually like having it-

Bogahn: Ahh! Hawke! A letter arrived for you, funny how they never come while you're home

Garrett (walking in to see Anders and his Mother chatting; suspiciously) : yes.... Hilarious. Wwwwwwwwhat are you talking about?

Leandra and Anders: oh nothing, really

Garrett: maker have mercy...

DA2 Act 2: After Leandra's death

Anders: I know nothing I say will change it. I'm just- I'm sorry. You were lucky to have her as long as you did. When the pain fades, that's what will matter.

Garrett: I didn't try hard enough to save her.

Anders: she wouldn't want you to blame yourself

Garrett: you don't know my mother

Anders: no, but I've had a glimpse of who she was. I only wish I could have gotten to know her more. She was an amazing woman... I'm here for you, whatever you need

DA2: After the Fall of the Circles

Anders (running fingers through Hawke's hair): ugh... Leandra was right...

Garrett: what?

Anders: your hair's getting long. I don't know how but-

Garrett (chuckling): it's singed?

Anders: ...yes.

Garrett: mother used to say she measured how much she missed me with how long my hair got, haha. She used cutting it as an excuse to sit me down and have me all to herself for those few minutes...

Anders: you haven't cut it since, have you?

Garrett: no, I haven't. Yet, it some how managed to stay fiarly short... She must not really miss me...

Anders: Garrett-

Garrett: I know, I know. "don't blame yourself, Hawke," "you're mother loved you so much!" At least, they all have each other; she, father, and Carver. Only now, who's going to shave my head?

Anders: would you like me to-

Garrett (with pause): yes, please

I wrote this at 4 in the morning and queued it to the wrong blog, you know, like an idiot. The script also sounded a lot better last night, but I'm keeping it anyway. I am way to lazy to fix it so I'll just reblog it.

[artificialqueens]

How Far I'll Go Chapter Six (Ninex) - Mia Ugly, Meggie

A/N: We’re baaaaack! Hi hello how are you? LIFE is crazy. We’re so sorry it took so long to get this chapter to you guys, but honestly, Snatch Game was probably the hardest thing we’ve written. It’s hard to be funny. I’m going to be way nicer to queens who do badly on Snatch Game from here on out because it’s not easy, mama. Anyway. We hope you enjoy this SUPER MEGA SIZED CHAPTER (10.5k!) to make up for the super long hiatus. And hopefully we’ll be back with more very soon. Come visit us on our blogs: @mia-ugly and @artificialmeggie

Previously: The runway was purple, but Blair’s Scarlett O'Hara realness wasn’t enough to save a poor performance and she was sent packing. Brooke and Vanjie are (most definitely) probably still messing around, and Nina and Monet had a moment backstage when Nina narrowly avoided elimination. Or was it a moment? Oh, and Nina’s probably losing his mind.

To come: Katya, Snatch Game, a hotel bar date, and a musical number.

Nina wakes up and is still on Drag Race.

He might be having some kind of a nervous breakdown (and breaking into song periodically) but that’s showbiz, kid.

And now it’s time for the fucking Snatch Game.

Shower, shave, dress.

Prepare for another sloppy Branjie moment in the elevator (and thank God, Nina gets to avoid that for a change). Nina Bo’nina is riding down alone, and the two of them chat distractedly on their way to the conference room.

A few of the mentors are there, but no Monét and no Trixie.

Nina tries not to let that bother him as he nibbles his toast and drinks his coffee. He’s focused this morning, ready for whatever happens next. He’s been thinking about Snatch Game since the moment he got the All Stars call, is determined that this is going to be his challenge (of course, he might have had that thought about the last challenge too… No, nope, move the hell on, girl.)

Nina doesn’t see Brooke until they film the Werk Room entrance. The man looks exhausted. There are circles under his eyes that the makeup guy has done his best to cover, but it’s still obvious Brooke is not at his best. It makes Nina remember that - no matter how stupid the Canadian is being about Vanjie (and no matter what sort of history he has with Nina’s equally stupid heart), Nina still loves him. Will probably always love him in some kind of way.

“No coffee this morning?” he asks quietly as they’re waiting to get mic’d.

“Not enough.” Brooke pulls down his hideous knitted beanie (where the hell does he keep getting those? A P.A. should - frankly - take them away.)

“Have a late night?” Nina doesn’t really want to know, but if Brooke needs to talk about it -

“Oh no. No. Just - thinking.” He rolls his neck. “Like - we know what’s coming up, right? And last season - it wasn’t my best look.”

Nina barks out a an embarrassingly loud laugh. “No kidding.”

“You didn’t have to find it that funny.”

“It’s pretty funny.”

“You’re a dick, you know that? No matter how sweet Monét thinks you are.”

This makes Nina stop laughing. “Sorry - what?”

“He was just going on about you when he was watching Asia film our scene last episode. Like - ‘try this, Nina does this, blah blah.’”

Nina doesn’t know what to think about that. It makes him feel a bit warm and light-headed, but absolutely incapable of responding.

“Clearly you’ve got her fooled. I know what you’re really like.”

“Haha, yeah.” Nina’s voice is weak and he hopes to God Brooke doesn’t immediately clock his blush. Luckily, Vanjie chooses that moment to start flirting with the sound guy, and Brooke’s attention is suddenly elsewhere. Yes, yes, that’s good. Nina will have to keep Vanjie close by at all times, just in case he needs to distract Brooke.

They all romp into the Werk Room together, Shea and Asia working their few seconds in the doorway for all it’s worth (“pose for me, pose for me, POSE”). They talk a bit about Blair going home, but before they can say much about it there’s the sound of a video message, and the television flickers to life.

“Ladies,” Ru’s face comes onto the screen. “I picked you queens for All Stars because you represent the best of the best. But on second thought… I think I’d like to see some other queens in your place. Sorry, not sorry.”

The video ends.

“What the hell does that mean?” Shea asks.

“Nah, nah.” Vanjie is shaking his head in denial. “We don’t need no more hos up in here. We got too many of y’all already.”

“Hello, hello, hello!” The door opens and Ru comes into the Werk Room, followed by the mentors. Nina tries to smile and look as excited to see Ru as he’s always supposed to be, but - he can’t help being worried about whatever the hell twist is coming up. (Monét winks at him as he comes in, so that’s something. Nina will keep that one brief moment like a diamond in his pocket.)

“Ladies, for this week’s maxi challenge, it’s time for another All Star Edition of Snatch Game!”

Most of the queens around Nina are delighted - except Brooke. Nina can see him smiling, but it’s fragile and fake, and his arms are folded very tightly around himself, legs crossed at the thigh even though he’s standing; a clear indication he’s stressing.

“This time, however, to celebrate my recent single ‘Queens Everywhere’— available now on iTunes—we’re going to do things a little bit differently. I know you’re all amazing queens, but for this Snatch Game, I’d like to see if you have any other queens inside you.” Ru raises a suggestive eyebrow. “Not to give Miss Vanjie an unfair advantage.”

Vanjie’s jaw drops even as he laughs, mutters “shade” through his perfect teeth.

“For this Snatch Game, I’m asking you to channel one of your sisters. We’ve had a lot of iconic queens on this series, so you’ll have plenty of personalities to choose from. And luckily you’ve got some experts here for inspiration. Hashtag Snatch Game All Stars. Gentleman, start your engines. And may the best All Star… win!”

“The fuck?” Vanjie whispers to Nina as soon as Ru leaves. “Bitch, I had a damn plan. I brought the little gold trophies and everything. Watched all the fucking movies. Now I got to be one of y’all’s tired asses? That ain’t fair.”

“Trophies, like - you mean Oscars?”

“Sure, whatever.”

Nina has to admit that he’s kinda thrilled about this twist. He’d been telling anyone who will listen who he was going to be for the Snatch Game if he ever got another chance. He’d had a couple back-ups, of course (they’d all been told to bring a former queen, so honestly, they should have seen this coming from a mile away), but this really couldn’t have gone better for him.

He feels bad for some of the other queens though, especially Vanessa (the bitch was prepped to do Meryl Streep - Brooke’s idea, and a fucking hilarious one. He’d kill to see it).

“X-Queens assemble,” Monét calls over at him, and Nina pats Vanjie on the shoulder, goes off to sit with Monét and Asia.

Monét looks good. Real good. He’s in some loud patterned sweatshirt that has tiny slices of pizza all over it, and another pair of thick-rimmed glasses (white, or maybe baby pink?), and he’s smiling at Nina like - no, nope. Move along.

“It’s actually the Avengers that assemble,” Asia tells Monét, who rolls his eyes at her.

“Girl, you can’t be a bigger nerd than me. I won’t accept it.”

“Yeah, ‘cause knowing about the Avengers is real obscure, serious fan-only shit.”

“The shade, Miss Asia! Nina West, are you going to defend your mentor?”

Nina holds his hands up. “You’re the fearless leader, you got this.”

“The pair of you.” Monét shakes his head. “All right, what you got for Snatch Game?”

“I’ma be Brown Cow Stun-ning, yes, honey.” Asia pops her tongue after a pretty admirable impression of Monique Heart.

“And Miss Nina West?” Monét is looking at him with an eyebrow raised. Nina wonders if he’s heard the interviews, if he already knows.

“Miss Vaaaanjie,” Nina says, “Bitch, you know I don’t play games. Don’t play Monopology, Uno, Twistah, Tag, Marbles -”

“Jesus Christ, stop it.” Monét is covering his face with his hands, while Asia is cackling. “Does she know?”

“Not yet.”

“She will live. Okay, okay, I ain’t worried about either of you. Take me straight to the finale, win me that serious mentor coin.”

They run through a couple ideas for jokes, focusing more on Asia (who struggled last time and still has a bit of anxiety flaring behind her contacts). There’s a break for lunch, but it’s weirdly quiet, subdued. Snatch Game is an opportunity to stand out, to prove you deserve to be there. It’s also an opportunity to crash and burn in front of Ru, the judges, and later on - the world. So there’s that.

After lunch everyone starts putting on their paint, fixing their wigs. The cameras zoom in to get some Werk Room chatter about who is playing who, and of course they’re all dying for Vanessa’s reaction (as soon as he sees Nina pull out his pink-petalled Barbie-head dress from its garment bag, the pussycat’s out of the Prada bag).

“Noooo, bitch,” Vanjie shouts across the room, but he’s smiling. “Oh, I’mma have to whup your ass if that’s what I think it is.”

“Deuces!” Nina shouts back at him, throwing up the sign as well, while Brooke covers his face.

“That ain’t right, it ain’t right. Thought we was friends, sis.” Vanjie is laughing about it, though; Nina knows they’re cool.

“Who are you playing, Miss Shea Coulée?” Asia calls over to her sister, who is fussing with a nasty looking green wig.

“Paaaarty…” Shea drags out the word, working that vocal fry for all she’s worth. “I’m going to be Adore Delano, darling.”

Nina Bo’nina Brown thinks this is the funniest thing she’s ever heard, can’t speak for laughing so hard. Shea seems entertained by it at first, but her smile starts to tighten a little after the laughter continues a bit too long.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just - good luck, girl.”

“Who are you doing then?”

“Yeah,” Cracker interjects. “You were Jasmine Masters for your season’s Snatch Game right? The judges loved it.”

“Right. So why mess with perfection? I’m going to do Miss Jasmine Masters.”

A couple of the girls stop what they’re doing when she says this.

“You’re going to play the same queen?” Cracker repeats, a bit shocked.

“Yeah. I was sickening last time, I’ll be sickening this time.”

“Aren’t you worried that they’ll read you for not showing them what else you can do?”

“Nah. They’re gonna be laughing too hard.”

“Mmmm…” Vanjie makes a low, skeptical noise.

“Trust and believe, Vanjie,” Nina B. calls over to her. “Trust and believe.”

The cameras have to reset then to film Ru’s entrance into the Werk Room, and catch all the queens’ “surprised” reactions.

“Hello hello hello, kitty girls!”

Nina beams, claps his hands, that whole production. He’s feeling pretty good though - the energy is real. He’s actually excited for this challenge, ready to show Ru what he can do. (That’s how he felt last year too, then Silky went and yanked the win right out from under him. But no time to dwell on that now.)

“How are my All Stars? I thought I’d take a little look-see at what you were planning for us. And I brought along one of our extra special guest judges to help me out.”

From behind Ru, Katya Zamolodchikova comes in waving and smiling, teeth glowing white against her red lipstick.

“Oh my god! Get your own thing!” Trixie yells from across the room, and Katya does that ridiculous/adorable silent laugh that Nina has seen on “UNHhhh” too many times to count.

“Thanks for coming, Katya!” Ru says cheerfully.

“No problem, Ru. Thanks for unlocking the attic door!”

“Well, it was a special occasion. And I was feeling generous.”

They go from station to station, cameras following them around silently, and Nina fusses a bit with his dress while eavesdropping on their conversations with the other queens. There is a bit of concern for Brooke, who’s playing Detox (no big surprise there). How is Brooke going to make Detox funny seems to be the main issue. Nina has the same question. Brooke seems more confident than last season, though, so Ru and Katya wish him luck.

There’s some controversy over Nina Bo’nina playing Jasmine again, but the girl won’t be convinced to try something else. Nina listens to some of the critiques, ignores some of the others. He’s interested, but he also knows he needs to focus on his own performance, and not get in his head. He’s not as bad as Brooke at over-thinking things, but no one goes into goddamn musical theatre who isn’t at least a little bit destroyed (psychologically speaking. Okay, maybe also a bit romantically. It’s fine).

“Nina West!” Ru says close to Nina’s ear, and he almost jumps a foot in the air. (Girl, Katya is standing four feet away from you, be cool, be cool.)

“Hello, hello, hello Christine,” he says, immediately launching into his Vanjie impression. Both Ru and Katya laugh - and Katya’s smile up close is completely unfair, like a smile cut out of paper, perfect and sharp-edged.

(“I don’t know her!” Vanjie shouts from across the room.)

“So who are you going to be?” Katya asks, completely straight-faced, as soon as she and Ru have stopped laughing.

“I don’t know, still making up my mind,” Nina says, back in his normal voice.

“And the uh -” Ru gestures to the hideous floral Barbie dress, “gown?”

“Do you like it? One of my best gowns. What’s funny?”

Katya is wheeze-laughing. Katya is wheeze-laughing because of something Nina said! He stores that one next to the Monét gem from earlier; hopes to have enough for his own tiara in the unthinkable event that he doesn’t win.

“Now on Season 11’s Snatch Game, you were hilarious, you played -”

“Harvey Fierstein and Jo Anne Worley-”

“Yes! And really, it might have been one of the strongest performances in Snatch Game herstory.”

Nina smiles gratefully (only slightly furious that Ru’s saying this despite the fact that Nina didn’t win. He deserved to win).

“So how can you possibly outdo yourself this time?”

“I’m not trying to outdo myself, I’m trying to do something different. Like Katya, when you played Björk -”

“Yes, yes, back to me,” Katya says, nodding.

“Completely different from Suze Orman, but still so funny. That’s what I’m going to do. Just - mix it up.”

“All right, Nina, good luck. Can’t wait to see it,” Ru says, moving on.

It’s fine. It’ll be fine.

As soon as Ru and Katya leave the Werk Room it’s a mad dash to get dressed and made up and before Nina knows it, before he can light a bunch of candles on an altar and find whatever religion will bring him the most luck, they’re all being rounded up and led into the studio for the Snatch Game.

Okay.

Okay.

Brooke’s Detox look is iconic, the yellow and black striped bandage dress from the Season 5 premiere (probably borrowed from Detox herself) hugs his perfectly padded body, but he’s absolutely trembling as he walks beside Nina. Nina has to squeeze his shoulder, tell him it’ll be fine.

“It’s fun, Brooke. Just have fun with it,” he murmurs as he hits the bright studio lights, has to blink until his vision adjusts (the first thing he sees is Monét and Nina’s blinded by him).

Okay.

The mentors are sitting along the sidelines, ready to watch the show play out. Nina wasn’t expecting that, but it’s - fine. Monét smiles at him, and Nina’s going to use that smile as a good luck charm - a rabbit’s foot, a four leaf clover, whatever. It’s impossible not to feel lucky when someone who looks like Monét goddamn X Change smiles at you like that.

“Welcome to the first All Stars ‘Queens Everywhere’ Snatch Game!” Ru says after they’re all mic’d and seated, upbeat music playing behind him. “Let’s meet our contestants.”

Katya beams from where she’s sitting behind her glittery podium and microphone.

“It’s everyone’s favorite queen that we found digging in the dumpster outside - Katya!”

“And yet I’m still hungry!”

Katya smiles at Ru and then snaps her teeth at the other queens.

“And - just when you thought we’d finally seen the last of her - halleloo! It’s Shangela!”

Shangela raises one hand in the air, nodding seriously. “That’s right, I’m back again, bitches. And I ain’t even in a box this time, baby.”

“Ladies, are you ready to meet the queens?”

“Yaaaaaaaaaas,” they answer in tandem.

They reset so that Ru can film the introductions, and Nina’s heart starts rattling like bones in a bag. He’s buzzing with adrenaline and nerves, but he’s going to channel that into a goddamn win. That’s right, he tells his inner saboteur - you can fuck off. This challenge is mine.

“The heart of Season 10 - Monique Heart is here!” Ru starts with Asia, whose Monique look is extremely correct.

“Hello world! Hello America! Are you brown cow stunning?” She tosses Ru a ridiculous cow-patterned baseball cap. Ru briefly feigns excitement before throwing it over his shoulder in distaste.

“Burn that,” he murmurs to one of the camera crew. “Next up, we have the original party-queen - Adore Delano!”

Shea Coulee stretches her arms in the air before making a peace sign, growling “Party,” in a gravelly voice.

“How are you doing Adore?”

“I mean, I’m good, you know? Like. Excited to be back. Where am I again?”

Nina has to turn his mouth into his shoulder to stifle the laugh that bubbles to his throat immediately. He wasn’t sold on it when they were discussing it in the Werk Room, but Shea is killing it as Adore. Her voice, her delivery is hilarious. The makeup is flawless. Her perpetual open mouth is complete perfection. As always, Shea Coulee is slaying the competition. Nina’s stomach gives a nervous jolt, so he sucks in a deep breath and reminds himself to pay attention.

He realizes he’s missed Ivy’s introduction, but Katya is gagged at the illusion of, well - Her - that Ivy is turning today. A mid-length honey blonde wig barely brushes Ivy’s shoulders and her red bustier is covered in rhinestones (and, of course, the scythe and hammer.) The look is great. The accent, on the other hand… Nina sighs a little, but tries not to get comfortable, regardless of how terrible Ivy’s Russian accent is.

Vanjie is seated at the end of the top row, decked out in red lace, a large pair of dark sunglasses balanced precariously on her nose. There’s no denying the air about her: Miss Vanjie is living Miss Valentina’s French vanilla fantasy, and no one could doubt it.

Ru beams at him. “Valentina! How wonderful to see you again!”

Vanjie draws in a deep breath. “That’s right, Ru, it’s me - Valentina. I’m back, and this time, I just want you to know, I fully learned all the words to ‘Greedy.’”

“Excellent! You want to sing us a verse right now?”

“No,” Vanjie answers, extremely primly, and even in his gravelly voice, the delivery is enough to make Ru laugh.

“Maybe next time.”

“Probably not.”

Then Ru’s looking at Nina and - oh, god, why did he think coming back for All Stars was a good idea again?

“Miss Vaaaaaanjie is here!” Ru trills.

Nina sucks in a deep breath and - “What’s the grease, mama?”

Down the row, Brooke buries his face in his hands, but his shoulders bounce with laughter. Ru is giggling loudly. Even Katya and Shangela are agape at the spot-on impression like it’s the first time he’s done it, the first time they’ve heard it.

He lets himself relax a little.

“Three seasons in a row.” Ru consults his cue cards. “Girl, aren’t you tired of competing yet?”

“Mmhmm.” Nina shakes his head vehemently, the wig he pilfered from Vanjie weeks ago flying around his shoulders. (He really does owe Brooke one for that.) “Nah, girl, you know I’m still trying to get my own show. Like Vanjie of Love or some shit like that. You know, something where these triflin’ hos gotta pay me some damn attention.”

In his periphery, Nina catches Brooke cut his eyes to him. He hopes this is okay. They haven’t really discussed the Branjie territory in regards to his jokes, but he kind of assumed it was fair game. Besides, he isn’t planning on directly hurting anyone’s feelings. He’ll keep it light, keep it fun. Besides, they’re the ones who marketed their portmanteau and gave the profits to charity. It’s practically public domain at this point.

“Next up we’ve got - oh my goodness, it’s Jasmine Masters!”

Nina Bo’nina gives Ru an extremely “over it” look. “Yeah, and I got something to say.”

“Now Jasmine - no tea, no shade, but haven’t you been on Snatch Game before?”

There’s a bit of an awkward pause before Nina Bo’nina waves him away.

“Bitch, I’ve got something more to say.”

Ru chuckles a bit, “I bet you do,” and moves on to Brooke.

“Another former All Star contestant, welcome Detox!”

Brooke looks sullen and concerned. He gives a little nod at Ru and the contestants.

“Detox, what’s the matter? You don’t look happy to be here.”

“Oh, am I not smiling?” Brooke asks through his extremely full, painted-on lips. “I can’t feel anything above my neck.” He shapes his mouth into a grotesque smile using his hands, and Ru almost doubles over. Okay, okay. Nina feels a little less worried about Brooke.

“And last but not least, we have - um, Aquaria! Hey girl!”

“Hi Ru!”

“Aquaria, is that the new way you’re spelling your name?” Cracker has written Acwareea on her name-card. A couple letters are backwards.

“Huh?” Cracker looks down at the name card. “Oh, I can’t spell my name. Actually, I can’t spell anything.”

“Okay then.”

“You know, some girls chose to read books, I chose to turn looks.”

“Yeah, you did! Now let’s get ready to play the Snatch Game!”

They break for a few adjustments on the cameras and microphones, and Nina tries not to hyperventilate, and then fuck - they’re rolling again.

“Here we go. The first question is for Katya. Katya, All Stars Season 1 paved the way, and brought back some of the most celebrated queens of all time to compete. This time, instead of competing in pairs, the queens are competing in BLANK.”

Be funny, be funny, be fucking funny. Nina tries to think like Vanjie and writes down an answer as soon as he’s got one, hoping it will be good enough.

“Okay, pens down. Katya?”

“I said competing in traction.”

“In - traction?”

“Yeah, you know, when all the bones in your body are broken and you’re in the hospital bed with your leg in the air.”

“That would certainly be a different kind of competition.”

“I’d watch it,” Katya says seriously, and Ru laughs.

“Let’s go to the Queens and see if we have any matches. Miss Valentina. What did you write down?”

Vanjie has put a lace mask on over the bottom of her face. She mumbles something indecipherable.

“What was that?” Ru asks. Vanjie mumbles something again.

“Valentina,” Ru says, clearly picking up on the joke. “Take that thing off your face.”

“I’d like to keep it on please.”

Ru shakes his head slowly, and at last Vanjie removes her mask.

“Now, Valentina. What did you write?”

Vanjie flips her card over, and Ru starts to wheeze with laughter. “That’s what I wrote down. I’d like to keep it on please.“

Vanjie’s Valentina voice is slipping, but she’s hella charming anyway, as always.

“I’m sorry, my dear, but that is not a match. Moving on to Aquaria - oh! You’ve got a new outfit.”

Miz Cracker was scrambling to put on a new wig and geometric headpiece made of iPhones while Ru was speaking to the contestants. She looks great, and she’s killing Aquaria’s affected head wobble.

“This season the queens are competing in BLANK.”

Cracker flips her card to reveal Aquaria’s instagram URL. “I wasn’t born when All Stars Season 1 aired, so I just wrote this.”

“Oh, okay - not a match.”

“I’m young,” Cracker insists, and Ru nods, patiently.

“We all were once. What did Miss Vaaaaanjie have to say?”

“I said we’d have to compete in swimsuits,” Nina says, flipping over his card.

“Swimsuits?”

“Yeah. Cause maybe then Michelle won’t read my ass for filth every damn week.”

Ru gapes at him, like he can’t believe he just came for Michelle in Snatch Game.

“Swimsuits be glamor when everybody else is doing them too, bitch!” Nina pops his tongue.

Ru laughs, high and clear, and then turns to the other Nina. “What about you, Jasmine? What do you have to say?”

Nina Bo’nina slaps her hands on the table and purses her lips. “We gonna be competing in making viral videos to get Justin Bieber’s attention, Ru.”

The room — pauses while Ru tries to save face with a polite chuckle. Nina West can practically hear the shade rattle sound effect that will inevitably be edited in at this exact moment.

Jasmine Masters probably wasn’t Nina Bo’nina’s best option (anyone could have told her that and, good god girl, they really tried). It’s not working. Nina doesn’t think any of it’s working.

Ru clears his throat, shakes his head. “I’m certain you could teach them a thing or two about that, but unfortunately, it’s not a match.”

Nina Bo’nina shrugs.

Ru shuffles his cue cards and moves on. “This next question is for Shangela. In All Stars Season 2, we changed things up by letting the queens choose who would be eliminated. This season, as well as eliminating each other, the queens will have to BLANK each other.”

There’s the scribbling of markers from the queens around Nina (who like to think he’s got this answer down blind.)

“Okay, pens down. Shangela? This season, the queens will also have to…”

“I knew what y’all were looking for, because y’all are nasty…” Shangela turns her card around. “But I’m a lady, so I said they’d have to ‘tuck’ each other.”

“Tuck each other!”

“Sometimes a girl needs a helping hand, mama.”

“Ain’t that the truth. Let’s see if we have any matches! Katya, what did you say?”

Ivy looks a bit startled to be called on first, but she beams with her red lips, flips her card over. “I said eat each other. To consume each other’s power and fill the gaping void that lives -” She pats her chest. “Right here.”

Katya (the real Katya) shrieks, but Ru shakes his head.

“I’m sorry, that’s not a match.”

“Da,” Ivy says solemnly, in her terrible Russian accent. “Da. It never is match. Like me and Trixie. Match but… No match.”

And, okay, Nina might imagine it, but it seems like the studio goes eerily quiet as everyone waits for Trixie’s reaction. She’s smiling, but it looks forced. Katya clears her throat but laughs, which seems to dispel the weird tension that formed.

Ru, oblivious to the entire thing, moves on. “Miss Vaaaanjie, what did you say?”

Nina sighs and flips his card, feeling pretty pleased with himself. “I said date each other. You know, I still be lookin’ for that Notebook shit.”

“Oh yeah, we know. No more Post-Its, right?”

“No more Post-Its, never again. I ain’t got the time, Mary!” He glances over at Brooke, raises his eyebrows seductively. “Hey, how you doin’?” Behind him, the real Vanjie mumbles something under his breath.

“I’m sorry, my dear, that’s not a match.”

“Bitch, it might be!” Nina says, still looking at Brooke, and Ru bends over laughing, stomping his foot into the ground. It’s adrenaline, it’s power, it’s like Nina knows this challenge is his.

“You ain’t even know!” he continues, channeling angry Vanessa as much as possible. “Just ‘cause one tall blonde bitch did me wrong don’t mean they all will. Shit.” Nina crosses his arms over his chest, leans back in his chair, sees Brooke duck his head and blink rapidly a few times.

That might have been too much. He just got caught in the moment and… Fuck. Dial it back a little, but stay focused.

“Moving on to Aquaria,” Ru says. Aquaria, this season the queens will have to BLANK each other.”

“I said ‘copy each other,” Cracker says tightly, in Aquaria’s low voice. “And it’s too bad Miz Cracker isn’t here. Maybe then she would have won something.”

“Oho!” Ru laughs, a bit scandalized. “Not a match, my dear.”

Cracker shrugs and throws the card over her shoulder. “Someone save that so I can call and ask Cracker if she wants more of my sloppy seconds.”

“Adore Delanoooo!” Ru trills the last syllable as he turns to Shea, who tosses the long green waves over her shoulder.

She flashes Ru one of Adore’s signature winking, mouth-open, tongue-out smiles with a peace sign.

“What did you write down, darling?”

“I said ‘party with each other,’” Shea drawls in Adore’s affected tone, adding more fry than is entirely necessary, but it gets the point across. She’s goofy and perfect.

“Party with each other,” Ru repeats.

“Yeah! I mean, you guys all look super cool. I’d hang out with you, smoke a blunt, eat some pizza. You know, party!”

Ru tsks. “Sounds like a great Tuesday night, but unfortunately not a match.” He turns to face the contestants, where Katya is sitting with her hands folded primly on her stack of cards. “Back to Katya! In All Stars Season 3, BenDeLaCreme shocked the judges by sending herself home. This season, Michelle Visage will shock everyone by BLANKING herself.”

Katya takes a minute to ponder, pressing her index finger to her lips then writes something on her card. Nina and the other queens follow suit, and when their time is up, Katya is smiling ferociously.

“Let’s see what our contestant put down. Katya?” Ru faces her. “Michelle Visage will shock everyone by doing what?”

Katya clears her throat. “I could have gone the obvious route, you know.”

“Obviously,” Ru says.

“Instead, I said, ‘sacrificing herself.’”

“Sacrificing herself?”

“With fire. To the Gods, honey.”

“Okay… Any particular God?”

“…Satan.”

“Of course. Let’s go to our queens. Detox, this season Michelle Visage will shock everyone by…”

Brooke flips his card over. “I said motorboating herself. I mean, if anyone could do it -”

“I don’t know how shocking that would be… but either way, I’m sorry, not a match. Vanessa Vanjie Mateo! What did you say, my dear?”

Nina flips over his card. “I said cloning herself.”

“Cloning herself?”

“Mmm-hmm. Need two of her to manage your ass.”

Ru laughs, and Nina thanks every God he knows the name of. The burn landed!

“And now she got that done, she’s gonna clone me some Canadian bacon.”

“Is that right?”

“Hell yeah it is.” Nina does not look at Brooke or Vanjie. “But only the good parts, baby. Trim all the fat; I’m a growing girl, need more protein in my diet.”

“Bitch, you couldn’t handle that much protein,” Vanjie-as-Valentina cuts in, and Ru fans himself.

“A controversial question! Let’s go to Monique Heart, see what she said. Michelle Visage will shock everyone by…”

“I said believing in herself.” Asia-as-Monique-turns her face to the camera. “Like I believe in myself, America. And that’s why I’d like to take this moment to announce my run for office.”

“Which office is that?”

“Whichever.” Asia’s got Monique’s flighty passion down perfectly. “One of the big ones, you know. And thank you, America, for your trust. I won’t let you down.”

Ru reads the last question of the night. “In All Stars Season 4, history was made when we celebrated the first Drag Race double crowning. This season, we’ll be making history with a double BLANK.”

Shangela is already shaking her head knowingly. There’s a scrabble of writing from the queens.

“Ladies, pens down. Shangela?”

“I’m giving the people what they want, Ru. I ain’t proud. I had to say a double fisting.”

“Did you really have to say it though?”

“Actually, mama, I did. The PAs have my children.”

“Ha! All right ladies, let’s see if we have any matches. Adore Delano. This season we’ll be making history with the first double BLANK.”

Shea holds up her card proudly. “I said the first double… elimination.”

Ru is quiet for a moment. “That’s actually been done before.”

“It has?”

“A couple of times, actually.”

“Oh.” Shea is unfazed. “Well. I don’t watch the show.”

Ru wheeze laughs, and so does Nina.

“I mean, I don’t know who any of you people are.”

“Sorry, Adore. Not a match.”

Shea shrugs, flashes a peace sign.

“What about you Katya?” Ru moves over to Ivy.

“Well, I thought about what Trixie and I like to do behind the scenes of ‘UNHhhh’ and I just had to put - fisting!” She flips her card.

“It’s a match!” Ru exclaims.

Everyone is laughing, but Nina can’t help check out the subjects of Ivy’s joke. The real Katya Zamo is smiling but - her teeth look clenched. And over with the mentors, Trixie Mattel is not smiling at all. She’s staring at her hands in her lap, systematically picking at the baby pink polish that adorns her fingernails. Hopefully none of the cameras pick up on that.

“I’ll see you later tonight!” Ivy continues, pointing at Trixie. There’s a halfway amused smile on Trixie’s face right away, but Nina feels like he was punched in the stomach. Something’s going on between the two of them, clearly. It hurts to watch - not like watching Vanjie and Brooke hurts (that’s more like watching two attractive bricks smash together). But Trixie and Katya - there’s so much history there. So much darkness. And God knows enough people have been convinced they’re in love -

“Monique Heart, what did you put down? This season we’ll be making history with the first double BLANK.”

“I said the first double crowning, dahling.”

“I’m sorry Monique, we already did that as well.”

“I know y’all did it, but I feel like it didn’t really count because my ass wasn’t wearing one of those crowns. It should have been me, and that’s a fact, America. And facts are - what? Facts.”

Ru laughs for a moment before turning to Nina. “What about Miss Vaaaanjie?”

“I said the first double wedding. And before y’all even ask: I do.” Nina glances over at Brooke, hoping he isn’t hitting this note a bit too hard.

“You do? Who’s the other happy couple?”

Ivy interrupts before Nina can answer. “Trixie! I’ve been meaning to ask you!”

“Oh honey,” Trixie calls out, looking flushed and uncomfortable. “I know I said I’d give more to charity this year, honey, but my generosity has limits.”

Behind her podium, Katya’s face is absolutely expressionless.

“Well, queens, we’re out of time,” Ru announces. “Which means the winner is… Xanax! Talk to your pharmacist. See you next time on the Snatch Game!”

Nina throws ‘deuces’ at the cameras as they get some closing B-roll, keeping up his Vanjie-persona until the very end. As soon as the director yells “cut!” Nina lets out the breath he’s been holding for the past two hours. God, it went by fast, but now he’s feeling every second of it. His muscles ache like he ran a marathon this morning and then tried kick-boxing for the first time.

“Nice work, ladies,” P.A.’s are congratulating them as they leave the set, but Nina barely hears a word. He de-drags, does some of the talking head interviews he loves so much (has to look shady about Nina B.’s performance, and worried about Brooke. Nina doesn’t put on an act or anything - he is kinda worried about Brooke. Brooke did ‘okay’ - better than Celine for sure - but didn’t stand out the way some of the other queens did. And if Brooke goes home tomorrow night - fuck. Nina doesn’t quite know how he feels about that).

Brooke was also kind of weird as they took off their paint in the Werk Room. Nina thought at first that he was in his head about the Snatch Game, but now he’s starting to wonder if his answers as Vanjie might have fucked Brooke up a bit. He hasn’t had a chance to address it, but he’s going to have to tomorrow, just to make sure they’re cool. He thinks it will be okay. He’s pretty sure. Basically. Almost positive.

Nina might be working through some latent confidence issues as he pushes himself for four miles on the elliptical later that night in the hotel (work through the pain, he reminds himself), but it’s fine really. Nothing to see here. Move along.

His legs ache and his face drips sweat, but he feels—good, actually. Solid about his performance. (He did last year, too, but he’s trying not to think about that.)

Dolly is singing about ways to make a living in his ears. He’s not assuming - but he is preparing. Just in case. If he has to lipsync for his legacy, he wants to be ready. Wants to win this one more than any other challenge, and call him crazy, but he feels like there’s a real chance. He can’t pinpoint why exactly, but there’s some kind of feeling settling down into his bones, making him think that maybe maybe maybe—

Underneath that, something uncomfortable has wormed its way into his psyche. It has almost nothing to do with the actual competition. It’s stupid and predictable and oh-so-not what he should be concerned with while on the set of All Stars for Christ’s sake. But he is and he’s here and he’s feeling things, and Nina taught himself a long time ago that feeling things fully for a while and then letting them go is far more beneficial to his mental health than taking the Brooke route and bottling everything up and burying it under vodka cranberries and couch cushions.

So sure. Okay. He’s feeling some kind of way about this thing that he saw that he wasn’t even supposed to see and isn’t even any of his business, but that’s just Nina’s luck for you. So that’s what he focuses on (or tries not to) as he turns up the resistance and pushes through the last of his workout.

He’d risked a glance back at Monét right before the PAs had shoved them off the soundstage. He’s in the business of gem collecting now, savoring those moments, polishing them up for later use, and maybe he wanted a ruby tinted the exact shade of Monét’s lipstick as they’d smiled across the room at each other.

Instead, he’d seen Monét reaching out to Shangela, crimson lips puckered, arms outstretched, ready for the kiss Nina couldn’t make himself watch.

Maybe they had kissed, Nina didn’t know; he’d made himself turn away before he could inflict any more psychological damage on himself. (He’s choosing healthier options now, remember.)

Of course they hadn’t had a moment after the last runway. Why would he think that? When Monét could have anyone he wants, and Nina is practically an amorphous blob. Like. He knows drag queens are all touchy-cuddly most of the time, and he knows that there’s probably nothing going on between Monét and pretty, perfect, halleloo-ing Shangela. But there could be, right? And goddamn, that would actually make sense. As opposed to whatever madness was going on in Nina’s head last night.

He adds even more resistance to the elliptical - just for “fun.” Or maybe spite. And yeah, okay, one night of really solid work in the hotel gym isn’t going to turn him into Naomi Smalls with legs up to his asshole or anything, but it’s a start. And the sooner Nina can convince himself that he isn’t doing this for Monét (or anyone other than himself because he likes exercise, damn it), the better.

He’s a grown-ass adult. He recognizes delusion when he sees it in the mirror every morning. It’s time to face facts—he and Monét had one (wondrously) sensual, albeit (incredibly) drunken night months ago. Monét had left the ball in Nina’s court. Nina was too chickenshit to do anything about it. Now they’re tentative friends (Monét is his mentor after all), Nina might be going crazy (this whole bursting-into-song-but-not-really thing has gone too far), and it’s all just so messy.

Nina wipes his face, stretches, and heads out of the hotel gym. He probably looks like a sweaty disaster (okay, there’s no ‘probably’ about it) and he’s waiting for the elevator down to the floor with his room, when the doors “ding” open and he’s face to face with Monét.

Could be worse. Could be Branjie again.

“Get in loser, we’re going drinking!” Monét says, with a wide smile on his face.

He’s so fucking charming that Nina momentarily forgets that he himself is a hot damn mess. Literally, like hot. Dripping with sweat.

“Um.” He gets into the elevator anyway because - he’s gotta go somewhere. “Are we?”

“If you want.” Monét gets strangely shy as soon as the elevator doors close. Or maybe that’s just in Nina’s mind. “Was the Mean Girls reference too much? I feel like maybe it’s played out.”

Nina laughs out loud, awkwardness momentarily forgotten. Monét never seems anything but confident and composed, and that one moment of doubt is - surprisingly endearing.

Not that confident, composed Monét isn’t completely endearing as well. Like. It’s all good. It all works a little too well for Nina. Everything about Monét is working a little too well for Nina lately.

Shit, the elevator is moving, decision-making time is limited.

“I kinda look like - this?” Nina waves a hand at his damp self.

“Fine as hell, girl,” Monét says with a grin, “and no pressure, obviously. Though if I’m drinking alone at the hotel bar, it’s going to look a little sad. And, look, I can make sad work for me, that’s not a problem. But after the day I’ve had -”

“Oh, the day you’ve had. Yeah, I forgot how stressful it must have been. Competing on a reality show and all that.”

“Fuck off. Uh oh, we’re passing your floor -”

“How do you know which floor is mine?”

Monét blinks at him, briefly speechless, mouth agape. (It makes something spark like a firework in Nina’s chest, shoot colours across the night sky.) The moment passes and then Monét doesn’t even have the decency to look embarrassed, just smiles like a gorgeous monster as he taps his temple. “That’s classified mentor information.”

“Yeah?”

“Hell yeah. You don’t want to know about my top-secret dossier.”

“No, I - don’t.”

“You sure you don’t?” Monét winks at him, and the elevator dings as it reaches the ground floor. “Ah, shit, missed your stop. Better come do shots with me.”

“I mean, I could just press the button again.” Nina doesn’t know why he’s resisting, he wants to get tipsy with Monét more than he wants to do most things (aside from win All Stars and run for office someday maybe).

“Nah, girl, this elevator only goes down. One-way elevator. Sorry, should have told you.”

“Guess I’m out of options.”

“Guess so.”

They look at each other. Nina remembers the man that asked him up to his room the night of the finale. Nina remembers the taste of his mouth, the way Monét kept kissing him, like he couldn’t get enough. Nina -

- is clearly exhausted. And still delusional. But fuck it.

They go to the hotel bar (isn’t this how all the bad stories start?) and Monét buys them both a tequila sunrise and tells Nina way more than he should about Trixie Mattel.

“So her man and her are split. She’s feeling some kind of way about it.”

“Of course she is. Haven’t they been together for, like, ever?”

“Something like that. Fuck.” Monét drains his drink, motions for another round. “We’ve been talking about it, but I’m not - you know. I love her, she’s incredible, but - I’m not - her best friend.”

“You’re not Katya,” Nina says quietly, and Monét scrubs his hands over his face.

“Yeah. That.”

“So why isn’t she talking to Katya, then? You guys have your phones; Katya’s here now, for Christ’s sake.”

Monét shrugs. “Beats me.”

“Are they -” Nina doesn’t have any right to this information, but - he figures that Monét wants to talk about it. “Potentially… do you think -”

“Who the fuck knows? Honestly, when I said I’d come back to do this show, I did not think it would be like being in high school again. Like who is crushing on who, who is hooking up, it -” He darts a look over at Nina and then snaps his mouth shut. “I mean.”

Nina looks away. Finishes his second drink a bit too quickly. “You want another?”

“Okay,” Monét answers before Nina can even finish the sentence.

The bartender is particularly attentive, gets another round in front of them right away. He’s got a lot of smiles for them both, says, “This round’s on me, I’m a huge fan,” as he walks off to help another customer, and Nina - can’t help it, he’s a masochist - raises an eyebrow at Monét.

“Think you’ve got an admirer.”

“Yeah?” Monét rolls his eyes. “More like you do.”

“Should we turn this into an awful romantic comedy where we make a bet about who he likes more?”

Monét laughs like he’s shocked at himself. “Girl! Okay, but what happens at the end? Who wins?”

“Well, if we’re following the formula, we probably both realize that real love was right in front of - you know, I don’t know. You, you win.” Fuck fuck fuck, what the hell is Nina even saying? He watched too many Hallmark movies last Christmas. “That voice, that ass, right?” He tries to make it into a joke, even with Monét’s eyes all honeyed and serious on his face.

Monét purses those perfect lips, presses them into a semi-smile. “Just… didn’t want to assume nothing.”

They talk for another couple drinks, and it’s - shit, it’s easy. It’s never this easy with someone Nina likes. He knows he can be funny, knows he can bring out the charm (with the right amount of alcohol in his system) but usually if there are feelings involved it all goes to hell. Nina gets weird and in his head and laughs too loudly and spills his drink everywhere.

But with Monét - it shouldn’t be like this. It shouldn’t be this easy, especially with all the longing covering up the background like terrible flowered wallpaper. It shouldn’t be this easy for Nina to stop over-thinking things and just exist in the presence of this gorgeous person.

But it is. It is easy. That’s the worst part of it all.

Monét is laughing and grabbing for his arm (just like finale night in the other hotel bar) and there’s heat in Nina’s cheeks that isn’t just from the alcohol, and Monét’s lips are glistening and wet as he pulls the straw between them and sips every last bit of the cocktail into his mouth.

Nina swallows thickly, leans into the sound of Monét’s deep rumbling laugh, reaches for his knee when he starts to slip off the hotel barstool.

How many drinks are they in now? Four? Five? More? The room is spinning.

Nina is laughing. Light, airy. Not giggling exactly but laughing and his cheeks are burning and Monét is looking at him through narrowed eyes.

“Be careful, Nina West,” Monét says, and his voice is low and dangerous. “Be careful lookin’ at people like that. They might get… ideas.”

Nina’s breath hitches in his throat and he swallows hard. “Ideas?”

“I might get ideas.” Monét smiles crookedly; his eyes are half-closed and sleepy as he rests his chin on his hand and leans against the bar. “You never texted me.”

Nina’s so glad he’s drunk. So glad he missed his floor, even if it has led to this. Because this conversation, this thing has hung between them for the entirety of filming and it hasn’t been uncomfortable exactly (because they’re adults, thank you very much), but it hasn’t been wonderful either. And Nina more than anything wants to rewind back to May, go to lunch, talk about anything and everything and nothing with Monét until they fall back into hotel sheets and kiss and kiss and kiss until—

“Why didn’t you ever text me?”

Nina clears his throat. “I was… I… I wanted to.”

“But?” Monét’s eyes are wide and pleading now. Still glassy with the alcohol, but inquisitive, bright, waiting to see how Nina is going to explain himself.

Nina is too, to be honest.

So he shakes his head. “I don’t know. Honestly. I don’t have a good reason. I wanted to. I should have.”

Monét ducks his head, takes the paper straw from his drink and twirls it between his middle and ring finger. It sends tiny droplets of tequila sunrise all over the wooden bartop.

“I thought about that night a lot, Nina West,” Monét says quietly, wiping at the droplets with a damp beverage napkin. “I don’t do that. That’s not like me.”

“Me either,” Nina says.

Nina knows that if they were sober this would be a very different conversation. There would definitely be more emotions, there might even be some yelling (although that doesn’t really seem like Monét’s thing and he’s never been one to raise his voice, so maybe not). Either way, they aren’t sober, and now they’re the sleepy kind of drunk and exhausted, so they just sit there at the bar staring at each other, not sure what to say next.

“Why’d you pick me?” Nina finally asks. “For the competition? Because of… that night?”

Monét shrugs and pulls his credit card out of the back pocket of his jeans. “Just wanted to win, girl. That’s it.”

“Shit, I don’t have—”

Monét waves him off. “I got it. Consider it after-hours mentoring.”

Nina thanks him repeatedly as they stand (clumsily) and make their way out of the hotel bar (stumblingly) and back to the elevator. When the doors shut behind them, Nina has a brief flash of all the things that two consenting adults can get up to in an elevator (some of which he has seen in recent days). But no. No. They had their chance, right? The ship has sailed.

Nina’s room is a few floors beneath the mentors’ (apparently), so he steps off before Monét.

“Can you find your way back to your room?” Monét asks, and Nina wishes he could says ‘no. No, I’m going to get completely lost, no, I’ll fall down every two steps if I don’t have you holding me up. No, I need you to linger in my doorway, I need to panic about whether I should try to kiss you goodnight, I need to think about inviting you in.

(I wouldn’t. Of course I wouldn’t. So - unprofessional. But - it’d be nice to think about.)’

“Yeah.” He smiles. “I’ll manage.”

Monét grins. Nina likes to think there’s a bit of disappointment around the edges of it, but he’s also a couple drinks in, and wears the rosiest of glasses at the best of times.

“Thanks for the company and conversation, Nina West.”

Nina nods. Doesn’t touch him, doesn’t look over his shoulder at Monét as he leaves the elevator.

But he doesn’t go back to his room either.

He wanders the hotel. Presses the down button and gets on a different elevator a few minutes later.

Nina’s going to regret this tomorrow when he’s exhausted, but he just can’t imagine shutting himself in his dark little room and lying down right now. He’s vibrating, on edge. It’s a bad idea, because there’s nothing more depressing than a silent hotel after midnight - something about the lateness of the hour makes all the shine come off. Nina’s feet lead him down one hallway and down another, and he doesn’t realize he’s heading to their usual breakfast-conference room until he hears… music?

Yes, there’s definitely music coming out of there, the casual strumming of a stringed instrument that doesn’t have anywhere to go. Someone might be humming too, it’s hard to tell from a distance.

Nina follows the sound.

The door is open, just a bit, and all the lights are on. Sitting alone in the room is Trixie Mattel, bent in concentration over her autoharp.

Out of drag, she looks smaller, more vulnerable. It’s clear just how young she is. She’s picking at a tune, murmuring something under her breath. Nina suddenly feels a warm breeze against his skin, and the melody that Trixie’s playing becomes clearer, a delicate bluegrass riff that would be at home on Nina’s old Emmylou Harris or Linda Ronstadt records.

Along with the warm breeze comes a gust of dandelion seeds, floating through the hallway like tiny wisps of cotton. Nina feels like he’s alone with Trixie in the middle of a waving wheat field, sun-baked and desolate. He can smell the cracked soil beneath his feet, hear the sound of crickets chirping in time with Trixie’s brittle melody.

Oh no. That thing is happening again.

Trixie starts to sing:

“You’re the brightest star in any room.

I’m never lonelier than when I’m with you.

I miss something that’s never happened.

I miss a place I’ve never been to.”

Her voice is quiet at first, but it grows louder.

“There are some bridges that you cannot cross

Say it again ‘til I convince myself

But all this certainty it feels like loss.

I wouldn’t risk this much for no one else.”

Trixie gets to her feet, starts walking through the wheatfield as she sings the chorus.

“And there’s a wide field between us

How you traveled all those miles without me I don’t understand

I’m always on the edge of falling

And you could pull me over just by reaching out your hand

If you’d only take that chance.”

She keeps plucking at the harp, and Nina feels words welling up inside him, ready to spill from his mouth (when he starts singing, he’s thinking of Monét. Because of course he is.)

“This sort of thing, it don’t come easy

I never know just what to do or say

It feels impossible, believe me

That you would ever look at me that way.”

He thinks of Monét’s lips on Shangela’s after the Snatch Game. He thinks of Monét’s eyes on him at the bar. (“Be careful lookin’ at people like that, Nina West.”)

“There are some bridges that you cannot cross

I built up walls around this paper heart

But when I see you I forget it

All of the reasons we should be apart.”

Trixie harmonizes along with Nina as he sings the chorus.

“And there’s a wide field between us

How I traveled all these miles, baby, I don’t understand

I’m always on the edge of falling

And you could pull me over by just reaching out your hand

But could I ever take that chance?”

Nina sings the last line one more time, feeling the weight of his hopeless longing rising like a tide inside his chest. “If you’d only take that chance…”

“Nina?”

“Um.”

Trixie is sitting in the conference room, staring at him. She’s holding her autoharp but there’s no flowing wheatfields or whatever. Somehow Nina ended up in the doorway, just standing there. Fuck’s sake. Is he dissociating? Musically??? This is unbearable.

“How long have you been there?” Trixie asks, confused.

“Um, just got - here, so -” Nina’s face is probably turning bright red, and he’s hoping against that he hasn’t just been shouting song lyrics blankly at a terrified Trixie Mattel for the past few minutes. “Are you okay?”

Trixie winces. Then she nods.

“Yeah, of course. Just - yes. Couldn’t sleep. Figuring some - stuff out. You?”

“Just - you know. Having an emotional spiral.”

“Oh honey…” Trixie’s smiling but her voice is soft and sad. “My first perm was an emotional spiral, honey.”

Nina laughs in a brittle way, because 1) Trixie’s hilarious and 2) it’s obvious she’s trying to make him feel better.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not right now,” Trixie sighs, shakes her head. “But thanks.”

Nina leaves her to it. After - whatever that just was - he feels ready to crash at long last. He’s still a bit buzzed from the tequila, but his nervous energy has banked, and he heads back to his room. He’s ready to sleep, ready to deal with tomorrow when it gets here.

So of course, there’s someone waiting for him outside his room.

“Nina West.” Maya the P.A. gives him a slow, broad smile the moment he comes into view. “Found your way back, hey? Great. We need to talk.”

Interlude: Trixie

Conversation with:

swamp thing

i cunt believe i agreed to this

Fuck autocorrect CANT

It knows what you REALLY MEANT

It knew i was texting you and assumed

I’ll take it

You’ll take anything

I ain’t proud mama

I’m hunnnnnngry

For serious though, things okay there?

For serious serious

4 C-ri-us

GROSS

That’s gonna be my dj name

Please welcome to the stage

Why do I talk to you

Why do i even know you

Yes things are find its just weird

Being back on set

And like also runnign a business and

planning a tour and all of it. At least

they let us keep our phones

Must be hard being successful

I’m crying for you

I didn’t know you could still produce tears

I squeeze em out

Like milking a cow

Just need the right suction

Stop talking to me

What can you say that you won’t get sued for

I want drama

Who’s fisting who

Ha monet wishes she was fisting someone

Shes like middle school crushing on a queen here

Its kinda cute and sad

If love isn’t pathetic i don’t want it

And there’s last seasons whole thing

#branjie

sell those hats

That is not about hats

I saw them at a show in LA last summer

They’re fucked up in love, mama

IN LOVE???

Who even are you

I’m a person who has eyes

that can see things

Are they not together? They’re togther right?

NOPE

Are you fucking kidding

I don’t believe it

Since when are you this romantic

I’m not romantic

I have no romance in my bones

It’s just OBVIOUS

Well not to them

SO

Ahhhh the gays

When will we figure our shit out

Realize what’s right in front of us

You gone?

Yeah sorry

Going to pass out

Don’t die or anything

Whiel i’m gone

Aren’t you sweet

Conversation with:

sure thing

Doing anything fun tonight?

Or just missing me

Babe?

Ok sorry filming again

Call you on break

Do not let me do this again

I don’t care what they offer me

(id o care what they offer me)

Breaks over talk to you after?

How was your day?

Call me if you want

I’m done for the night

Just getting white girl wasted alone

In my hotel room

At the mini bar yes i’m that famous now

I’m gonna crash call me if you get this

Love u

Conversation with:

swamp thing

I dreamt that i was in a bsatroom

At mcdonalds that one you puked in

After the show in philadelphia

Do you remember? Probably not

And you were there and fucking

Gordon ramsay was there (!!!)

And he wad hitting on you

And i wasd so pissed off

And thrn this lady came in and was like

‘You can’t be in here, this is for ronald only” And i fully shot her with a GUN

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN TRACY

I just woke up and feel like a monster

She was just doing her job

Ronald mcdonald needs his private shitter

And i just killed her

I killed a living dream person

Thank you for sharing this with me

I feel so close to you right now

Yeah i don’t confess dream murder

to just ayone

But WHAT DOES IT MEAN???

Latent Ronald mcdonald fetish

Clearly

I’m not a doctor or anythng

But i’m sorry you’re dying

Yep yep makes sense

I always knew it would end like this

fuck/marry/kill

me/gordan ramsay/ronald mcD

(you wanna know what the D stands for)

No i want to sleep

For 3 more hours

But i’m on reality tv again

You should havw stopped me

Maybe this dream was a warning!

I’m supposed to save you

From endng up on Chopped

What did you dream about?

U have to tell me even if it’s sexy

That’s the law

Another teeth falling out one

Mama you know that’s my kink

Conversation with:

sure thing

Good morning sexy thing

I’m so tiiiiiired

Don’t make me get up yet

Hey are u alive?

Yes

Yay u r alive!

I called u yesterday night

And at lunch

U ok?

Did u get my messages?

yes

Ok

Can i call you?

I miss your voice

I cant talk right now

Sorry

Ok

I’ll call you tonight

After filming?

Sure

Love u gorgeous

Hey just called left a message

Give me a shout later

I miss you

Brian

Have you seen the pics

from the MTV Movie Awards?

Ummm ok

No i’ll look them up

Ok

Fuck my lashes are so uneven

U breaking up with me over lashes

Lol

U and kat are pretty cuddly

Haha

are u being serious

Ur joking

Are u ok? Can i call u?

I’m out right now

Call you when i get home

Ok

But we’ve talked about this before right

U know we’re friends

Me and Kat

We’re just friends

U know this

Yeah i have lots of friends

And we don’t hold hands and kiss eachother

All the fucking time

So we’re fdoing this over text?

Is that what we’re doing

No i’ll call u later

Call me ok? I love u

U cannot be jealous of katya

She’s my Business Partner

And it’s DRAG

We touch each otehr all the time

We all do

Gotta go call u later

Conversation with:

swamp thing

Can we talk?

Not if ur busy

Let me just stop blowing this senator

And kick the clowns out

And get thes handcuffs off

No i’m not worth it

Keep these good things goin

It was winding down anyway

Gettin awkward

I have yoga tomorrow

Whats up pussycat

This is gonna sound really weird

Have you seen the pics of us

from the movie awwrds

Probably blocked them out

why????

am i like a troll

No more than usual

David texted me about them

And he’s all pissed off??

Because of us holding hands

Like so so stupid right

WHAT???!

Thats crazy!

Im so sorry

This isn’t the handmaids tale

He can calm his tits

(sorry, not to attack him just) Has he seen our shows??

What did you tell him

To fucking call me!!!

And he hasn’t

And i’m on this stupid set and can’t just go

See him and convince him how crazy he is

I’m so sorry

Do you want me to call him

I’ll call him

Tell me what to say

No don’t

Don’t worry

Its fine

I’ll talk to him

Conversation with:

swamp thing

Hey are you awake

If youre awake call me

david and I are done

over the phone

FUN

sorry you’re clearly asleep

I’m just a little drunk

brian

he said some things

that ive been thinking about

maybe call me tomorrow if u can

guess ill see you soon anyway

dont die while im gone

miss u

[mickleach]

GETTING STARTED WITH ESSENTIAL OILS | tips, tricks + recipes

hi everyone welcome back today I am sharing a much requested video all about essential oils so I mentioned essential oils in my June favorites video and it's something that I use to help me fall asleep at night and so as I was kind of thinking about how to share this video with you guys I realized that there is so much to talk about when it comes to essential oils so I think what I'm going to do is just keep this one pretty basic talk about how I got started and share how you can get started if you're interested and then I will make another video or even another two videos about how specifically you can use them in more depth than what I have today so I'll give you a quick backstory about how I got into essential oils and I feel like my story is actually pretty similar to that of other people's I have known about essential oils for a really long time but I always assumed that the way that you use them was just for their smell you would put them in a little diffuser or with a candle diffuser and it would make your room smell nice so that's what I initially started doing I bought some at Whole Foods and they were a little bit on the pricey side but I just wanted like a few different smells and it was to replace the plug-in air fresheners that I used to use because as I'm on this non-toxic bandwagon I think that those things are probably like so unhealthy I don't even want to know what they put in them and I also actually stopped using the overly scented artificial candles too so essential oils felt like a really healthy natural alternative to those air fresheners and so that's what I did I used them very sporadically I didn't really have like any intention to move beyond that but as I was browsing Facebook one day one of my friends was talking about how she was using essential oils as a wellness tool to help her family and I was really intrigued I'm all about natural wellness so I reached out to her I said hey can you hop on the phone I really want to hear more about how you're using essential oils because she mentioned things that I was struggling with like sleep and digestion and allergy relief so we talked on the phone and she shared all about how she was using them I was so like it just sounded like something I would totally be interested in and so I asked her what the best way to get started was and she said I think you should buy a starter kit and so that's what I did I felt like it was the most affordable and easiest way to kind of dip my toes into this world without like spending a bajillion dollars on all of these different bottles not knowing if I was going to like them or not so I bought the kit and it came with a electric diffuser so something that you plug into the wall you add water and your oils and it diffuses and it also came with eleven different oils and the oils that they included in the kit were some of the more common oils that you see like everywhere and that have a bunch of very everyday uses so I felt like that was a really great place to start and I'm actually really glad that that is what I did because the kit that I bought its from the company called Young Living Essential Oils and like I said it comes with the diffuser on the oils but there's also like a ton of information tips for how to use them so it's been a really great experience and I have found a ton of applications in my everyday life and I think it's a great place for you guys to start if you're interested in trying essential oils so I actually wrote an entire blog post today all about kit and what's included and how I am using the kit so I'm not going to extend this video to be like 25 minutes long because I could easily get there but I'm going to leave the link to that blog post in the description box below you can check that out and it will give you a little bit more detail on the kit itself but I want to just quickly share with you how I think you can get started really easily with essential oils and that is by diffusing them so I like to think of diffusing oils as kind of like the crock-pot method of oils like you just fix it and forget it you just pop them in your diffuser plug it in let it run and you're done you only need to use like a few drops per time you're using it which is amazing and you can diffuse a bunch of different blends for a variety of uses in your life so since diffusing is really easy I want to just give you four of my favorite combinations of oils the first is a bedtime one then I have a morning one if I feel like I need a little pick-me-up I have a clear like mental clarity focus one and then I have an immune boosting one so for bedtime this is my favorite it smells so good I do a blend of lavender stress away and cedar woods so lavender and stress away are in the kit and then cedar wood I just added but this helps me have like the most restful peaceful amazing sleep ever and it smells so good the blend is like now it's just really comforting because I've been using it for so long but I just love how it smells and it's not overpowering it's just really relaxing it's really calming and I fall asleep super quickly and I stay asleep and I feel rested in the morning for my morning blend if I'm feeling like I need a little pick-me-up or some energy I will diffuse lemon and peppermint those are both really uplifting and energizing and they smell they're a really nice combination they smell really good so I like doing that one in the morning then for my mental clarity one so if I'm feeling like I'm getting a little bit discombobulated during my work day or I really want to feel grounded during meditation or I just need to like clear my head a little bit the three that I do our peppermint frankincense and stress away and all three of those are in the kit and then last but not least cold and flu season is coming up so I have these two oils on hand all the time i diffuse together thieves and purification and those are really great for giving your immune system a little boost so I'm not saying that's going to like cure your cold but it's definitely going to help support a healthy immune system so it's perfect during cold and flu season all right you guys so that I hope was helpful um there is a whole huge amount of resources and there's a whole world of essential oils that I feel like we could dive into but today I really just wanted to focus on how I got into essential oils how you can get into essential oils and the easiest way I feel like to use them on a daily basis I think that this is a great starting point if you've never used essential oils or if you're just interested in using them in a deeper way with your wellness routine I think that this is the perfect place to start I think picking up a starter kit is the great way to save a little money and also just dip your toes into the oil world and then I also think that diffusing is just a very like simple don't have to think about it kind of way to try them out and find blends that really work for your life and again if you guys want to know even more information about essential oils check the blog post in the description box below and that details all about the stuff that I talked about today also talks about how you can get one if you want and the benefit of doing a kit is that you're actually going to get a lifetime discount of twenty four percent on all of your other oil purchases so that's awesome because there are other oils that you might want to supplement like the cedar wood that is my favorite oil ever and then you also get access to a private community on Facebook of women who are using essential oils in their everyday life and it's just really supportive and amazing there are tons of recipes you can ask questions if you're struggling with something like right now I have this like itchy scalp and my scalp back here feels really dry so I just popped into there and they were like oh we should do this or oh you should add this to your shampoo or oh try this and it's just really awesome you don't have to feel like self-conscious and everybody's asking questions all the time and it's a great community so if you're ready to pick one up right now I will leave a link to that in the description box below and then if you guys have any other that was Treve in the background thanks alot Travie and then if you guys had any other questions specifically about oils why don't you pop them in the comments below and I will add those to my list for the next video that I make on essential oils I think that the next video will talk more in depth about how I use them beyond just diffusing there are ton like literally thousands of ways that you can use essential oils diffusing is a great place to start and so if you do have specific questions if you are have questions about a specific oil or anything like that leave it in the comments below and I will answer you and I'll also add those questions to my list so I hope you guys enjoyed watching if you haven't subscribed to the channel already you can do so by clicking the button that I'll put up in this corner and if you enjoyed today's video I would love for you to give it a big thumbs up if you like this kind of content I haven't really shared a lot like this before so if this is something that you like or you want to see more of thumbs up helps me see that and other than that I will see you guys on Tuesday with a brand new recipe video I finally got a new camera my camera broke so I missed this past Tuesday but I got a new camera and I have a really yummy breakfast recipe coming your way so staying tuned for that and I hope you guys have an awesome weekend I'll talk to you soon bye

See more here:http://mickleach.com/basic-essential-oils/