#i'd suggest to put a community label on it tho

[polyamorouscultureis]

i don't really know what my question/doubt or anything is, but i desperately need someone to help me/give me even the littlest adivice on how to exist as a primarily monogamous person in an open/poly relationship (my current girlfriend calls it polyamoruous but I'm not so sure what we have falls under the poly label).

I've never really been opposed to a poly relationship as in where three or more people are together in a relationship, but I've always been very wary about open relationships.

now tho I'm in a relationship with this girl and she's been clear since the beginning that she isn't really capable of being monogamous and that probably there was going to be a second person other than me.

i was and still am theoretically okay with it, I'm not jealous at all in general with my partners, so it was never really a problem.

we've been dating for just a few weeks now and maybe it's because I'm still not sure about this whole poly situation, but i was kinda happy when she told me that for now(then) i was the only person she was dating, i was hoping it was going to stay like that for a while (I'd never do anything to stop her from having another partner of course, that would be VERY toxic and weird of me) maybe just to prepare myself to the possibility of that happening, but then today she told me that there's another person, and while i thought i was okay with it, it still hurt. I'm pretty sure it's because it was so sudden and it's still so new, and while i used to pride myself to being the lest jealous being ever, i'm feeling a bit jealous. we're very communicative people usually but i don't want to make her feel bad sharing this thoughts. i don't want to end it or anything like that but i really don't know how to act and behave (I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense but I'm very confused about this whole situation and i have no idea how to put down my thoughts and doubts 😅😅😅)

Hi anon, thanks for reaching out!

Jealousy is normal, and it's ok to feel that way! It's clear to me that you really care about your gf and want what's best for her, but are also finding yourself a little uncomfortable with the idea of her seeing someone else. That's ok! It's good that you have recognized this and want to work on it.

First, try to figure out where these feelings are coming from. Is it that she now has less time to hang out with you? Is it the idea of her kissing or having sex with someone who isnt you? Are you feeling left out, afraid of being abandoned, or like you have to compete for her attention? Try to find the root of your jealousy, and think about what would help address these feelings. Verbal reassurance? Meeting the new partner? A certain day every week dedicated to just the two of you?

Once you have more of an understanding of your own thoughts, have a conversation with her to let her know how you're feeling. You're happy for her, you dont expect her to "turn monogamous" for you, and you appreciate her full honesty about who she is seeing. But you also would like to set a few boundaries to make yourself feel more comfortable within this relationship. Make some suggestions about what you would like her to do, and be open to her own suggestions until you can both find a good compromise. And remember that you can change your mind about any of your new boundaries if you find that you thought they would help but actually dont - sometimes there is some trial and error involved. What's important is that you are both comfortable being completely honest and talking things through when things get hard.

And as always with these types of asks, I will refer you to morethantwo.com's poly/mono page and my #monogamous-polyamory tag for more resources and similar asks.

I hope this helps, and best of luck to you! <3

[gayspock]

you mentioned in some of your tags that you don’t know what the fanon/general fandom opinions were. from what I’ve seen (I’m also a new fan) vi/caitlyn is pretty big (my guess would be because of how blatant it is), however, with...idk how to put this? average LOL fans think it was rushed and don’t like it. tumblr, of course, is into it tho. jayce/viktor is also huge. a lot of people seem to resonate with jinx and silco’s familial relationships. I’ve also seen a lot of people in the fandom not recognize the ableism in Viktor’s arc, which is worrying. if you don’t care to spoil yourself on where these character’s arcs will go in future seasons, I suggest you look up the LOL lore of: vi, ekko, viktor, and jayce. some are just...a slap to the face. anyways, have a good day/evening.

OHH okay omg (nods) tysm for a brief little insight, bc i was looking in the tag a little but it feels like tumblr's tag algorithm is a lot worse thn wht it was even before. unless the fanbase on here is smaller than wht i thought or sth HELP OK lemme dump this reply under a read more bc im rambly pjhpsrgjssfpgs

but a lot of tht hm? i THINK thats just about wht i expected - so no big surprises.

i dont blame the average LOL fans- a sentence i never thought i'd say skpgjsp - bc i can deffo see a lot of the places where it was like..eh. yknow. i said it myself. it feels a little undercooked in some places, and seemed more paced to keep it fast and snappy. like they kinda like they really could have spent more time on a lot of things- and so i presume tht'd be rllly frustrating if u were deeper into the pre-existing lore.

then regarding these little guys.... yeh i think i heard abt vi/caitlyn bein p big. :3 i still stnd by not rlly giving a damn (HELP, thats said with love i prommy)- but you kno nonetheless im happy tht ppl are enjoying a wlw relationship..... like its good they arent being sidelined by ppl. even if im not into tht scene i'll just nod from a distance.

BUT, THOUGH DO YOU KNOW WHATS SO, SO FUNNY? like ok. viktor and jayce obviously, like, occurred to me- but i also just kinda. kept pushing it to the back of my head? does that make any sense? like- jesus like. WELL DUH THEY'D HAVE SOME TUMBLR GIRLIES GOING WILD... silly me... and its like i feel like i sorta figured tht'd be going down, but it was in my peripherals out of clear sight HELP. wasnt helped by the fsct they kept separating the besties in the latter half- which i mean, obviously tht was bc of them drifting away frome ach other and stuff, but oh sniff sniff im emo nonetheless bc i rlly loved their relationship... 💖 LIKE i think its just in my head i kkinda just . i have no idea i never labelled them as anything i just kept jokingly mentally referring to viktor as his little bestie with a heart above the i, keeping them fun an ambiguous whilst medara gets her shit rock'd by him HELP PGJS[0JDH[PGKBPSD.

but also, on the subject of viktor- ah... yeah. :/ i wasnt sure if tht'd be sth tht'd be talked abt and.... the more it rlly became apparent, the more i hoped it wouldnt just be glossed over but . also ik tht happens a lot with things like this. god. i do hope tht those conversations are had at some point, more openly- like,granted im probs not gonna be knocking abt the communities on here tht much (and even if i was, im not sure how much i could really input into that?!) but yeah. thats a shame. 3:

and hm.... you know i might look into it. just bc theres some guys here im GENUINELY pretty into and idk if the show itself will fully give them their dues, even if it doesnt diverge- bc im INTERESTED... i love viktor. and ekko. and vi. sooo badly. and im super curious abt jayce. so help. i might go spoil myself now (bc in truth ive never been tht mad abt spoilers irpdgphjdhj and idk how much it counts here anyways).

THANK U FOR THE LITTLE THOUGHTS ANON. ITS NICE TO HAVE ANY JUMPING OFF POINTS TO CHATTER AWAY. i will have a good ... norning... <3 its like 2am here omg