#i'd love to be a trophy husband honestly

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

btw a girl i've known since we were two just announced on instagram she got eloped and is moving to florida so. that's that.

[wlwmedarda]

I'm honestly just looking to rant and this might be long depending on how fast I get irritated the more I type so if this isn't coherent or well written I apologize in advance. Since it looks like Ambessa will take on a more antagonistic role in arcane season two, I would like to unpack the fandom's antiblackness that you guys are either blind to or aware and too pussy to call it out as my gut is telling me it's gonna increase and if no one is gonna start the difficult conversation then I sure as hell will.

Sevika:

Mel:

Starting off strong with the definition of "you guys want complex female characters but can't even handle her". Mel Medarda is in quite the predicament seeing how she's morally grey, a black woman, AND "gets in the way" of a mlm ship so she was kinda screwed from the start. A cunning politician disowned for her pacifism who acts as a sort of bridge to Noxus' slow introduction, and is THE ONLY CHARACTER IN THE SEASON 1 MAIN CAST SPECIFICALLY CREATED FOR THE SHOW. She's treated like satan incarnate or a Jezebel (highly suggest looking into that if you don't know what that is), GOOD character analysis is rare, and when she is talked about positively, it's so often chalked up to appearances that I'd rather yall not talk about her at all. Oh you love Mel? Then can we talk about her relationship with her mother? Unpack her dynamic with Jayce? Maybe more fanworks centered around her? I've seen yall's fake asses dropping the shittiest fucking takes about her only to turn around and gush over how pretty she is, and yall think you're slick about it and you're not. I would say I prefer the ones who are loud and proud about their hatred but that'd be a lie, they're two cheeks on the same ass; annoying and couldn't give a decent break down of her character if a gun was pointed at they head even she's perfect to dissect. I could talk about her more but we'd be here all day and so many black women even from outside the fanbase have already talked about yall so there's no need for me to add on 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️.

Quick question, have you guys ever tried to talk about her in a non sexual way? Yes, Sevika is undeniably sexy and you could argue that true stans of hers talk about her outside of horny time, but a good half of the fandom is a different story. In a similar case to Mel's, deep dives into her character are rare to find which is crazy when she acts as Zaun's own "kingmaker". She's loyal to her city and the cause, never to a specific person and will not hesitate to betray you. She could be your right hand man one day, and the next she might find a better kingpin to follow and stab you in the back like it all meant nothing. "Were you tempted?" "Not for a worm like him". Simple and subtle and probably my favorite Sevika scene; she comes to realize Silco is no longer the best leader for Zaun, but he's as good as it gets for now and so she sticks by him. I remember a YouTube comment breaking down how she's essentially the quintessential Zaun: a brute warrior molded by her environment, who defied Vander's peaceful ways and embraced Silco's cruelty. Her mindset and goal is interesting and you'd think it'd result in some fascinating meta or exploration of her upbringing when we got a hint that she potentially has some daddy issues right? Obviously, but what do we get instead? White sapphics treating her like nothing more than a sexual object. How delightful!

Ekko:

This might partially be Riot's fault because — and I hate to sound like a league lore nerd — Ekko is quite underdeveloped compared to the richer origins of his former pre arcane self, but I'm gonna hold off on that till the season finale to see how they handle him. Anyways, at this point the fandom clearly sees him as Jinx's trophy husband. When you talk about him, she is brought into the convo 90% of the time. That's exactly why I prefer black timebomb shippers over the nonblack ones because I trust they actually love Ekko as a character on his own. Even though I have my complaints regarding how's been written so far, I still know he's too good to be reduced to Jinx's loverboy. He fights and cares for his city, the only character that you can confidently say is pure of heart, and is the revolutionary leader Zaun really needs. He's just as smart as Jinx too, he is literally going to create TIME TRAVEL. Why does no one wanna talk about that? Can we be excited for his character development and arc not just for the timebomb scenes you'll get out of it?

Ambessa:

Can't even deny this woman is awful but her presence on screen enthralled me after a couple of rewatches and I also love bad mothers in media so I've settled on a love/hate relationship. Yes, she's definitely gonna have some influence on Caitlyn, which makes sense since she has now lost her mother; she's vulnerable and as we have seen, naive. She's practically free real estate for Ambessa. My recent worry though has been how the fandom seems to be willing to put all of Caitlyn's actions on her as if Cait isn't a grown ass woman who can make her own decisions. Of course being grown doesn't mean you're immune to manipulation, but I've seen some Silco and Jinx comparisons and it is NOT the same. Mind you we haven't even seen the first three episodes; we don't know how far Ambessa's manipulation is going to go and we can't really tell what the dynamic is gonna be like based off of clips and trailers that are likely shown out of context on purpose to throw people off. I'll never defend her actions, hell I'll join in on the lashings, but my black ass is also not gonna sit here and let yall talk about her weirdly or pin all of this on her.

Some might say I'm overthinking this, but I've been here since November 2021 and have sat back and observed for 2 years. You don't have to write deep, philosophical conversations 24/7, I'm sure it's not all in bad faith and I won't act like I don't thirst over Sevika or marvel at Mel's beauty. I'm not saying you have to like these characters and that you're racist if you don't. My frustration comes from the lack of nuanced conversations and hypocritical opinions surrounding black characters in this show. When you try to say something about this, you're hit with excuses; it reminds me of how man obsessed fujoshis act when they're questioned for not giving two fucks about female characters. They're either reduced to one character trait, only admired for their looks, or only discussed when it's about the white character they're connected to. Do NOT under ANY circumstance be black and morally ambiguous, you WILL be held to higher moral standards than everyone's wittle blorbos who can do wrong and are defended from all sides when you dare to take the rose colored stan glasses off and criticize them. What's really ridiculous is you hear the "complex characters" bullshit every two to three business days and some of you have the nerve to boast about this series being diverse while simultaneously ignoring the complexities in the characters of color. This is the main reason I took a step back and with season two around the corner I thought "Hey, maybe it'll be better this time!" and it was a mistake. Good to know yall still have an underlying racism problem you don't wanna address but with some extra classism thrown in. "What will we do once Arcane ends?" hopefully get a job, touch some grass, and reflect. Lord knows yall need it. The faster yall sizzle out the better. I'm done that's all I have to say lol goodnight 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽.

[rainbowangel110]

Don't mind me just eating this up :)

I know I originally said in a comment at some point about how annoying the Logan war got (think it was in that post asking why we all suddenly backed off) but now I just find your posts humoring it's like "THIS LITTLE GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT-" and it's the most innocent picture of Logan.

Love seeing it nowadays (cuz it's funny), but you have a good point that he hasn't furthered the story yet but I feel like Red might change that soon. Hopefully. Also how we haven't had his backstory but that also might change too (we've got a hint in one episode where they fought his bullies, something about how his parents didn't want him and he fact that we've only seen his grandparents but not his actual parents says something....)

Anyways something I need to ask you! What are your opinions on the others, what you like about them or dislike, favorite moments and what not. I'm curious!

Sorry this may have been long!

SEE NOW YOU GUYS ARE GETTING MY HUMOR , THIS ACTUALLY MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!! THANK UUUUU A LOT

also UR SO GREAT FOR THE QUESTION YOU ASKED!! I love talking about everyone else

I’ll assess them in order of: ashlyn, aiden, taylor, tyler, ben (not by order of how much I like them or anything btw). Some sections are longer than others because I’m bias BUT ALSO BECAUSE I got tired of typing and realized there was wayyy tm to read. Sorry!!!! if you don’t wanna read all this I put a short summary all the way on the bottom + feel free to me ask me specific questions ! now let me talk your ear off

ASHLYN:

I really like ashlyn because she has the most potential out of everyone (and that’s not to say the other characters aren’t deep, because that’s the opposite of true but bae is the whole reason we’re here). I think she’s also really relatable in the sense that she doesn’t like interacting with people but she can easily take the leadership role when needed. like okay queen I see you. also I really enjoy the fact Red made her dislike aiden at first even though they have a side romance plot going rn. bc that’s how it would’ve been if they were real. ash would not just become chatty out of no where and fall head over heels for him. and I really appreciate the slowburn. Ashlyn’s also higher on my favorites list because I’m bias and we have the same hair length 😣 usually when characters have long hair, authors tend to let their hair flow a lot, but red put ts in braids 🙏 and ask anyone with long hair like that, their hair is up 99% of the time bc it’s annoying, hot, and (personally) GRABS ONTO EVERYTHING LIKE ITS A THIRD HAND. I have a lot of headcannons for ash just based on small character designs / aspects that not a lot of people really think about. She’s so interesting and I really just love her. And since I have positives, I’ll give one negative about her. In the beginning, Ashlyn was really hesitant to tell the group anything. I understand where she was coming from, and given Tyler’s reaction, I don’t blame her for keeping things to herself. But mannnn ts was so frustrating sometimes. it’s ok tho bc all good stories stress you out.

AIDEN:

omg guys it’s my favorite ever. I know aidens really popular already so I’ll try not to rant on about him forever but hes just the best 😣 but mans really does not gaf EVERR.

now I could rant on and on about how silly Aiden is and why he’s so misunderstood as a character, because he’s not crazy like at all and if anything he’s one of the smartest characters in sbg, but I’ll save if for a better time. Instead I wanna talk about how observant he is of Ben and ashlyn.

it’s cropping weridly, sorry. but aiden’s eyes are always watching the ones he cares about most. I feel like this has to do with the fact Ben cannot voice his concerns/opinions so aiden always has to glance at him to make sure he’s not missing any important signal. But I also think it has to do with his childhood (I don’t have fast pass or anything this is just based off of theories/analysis based on his character bc I do that a lot 🤒). Anyways, he has a specific way of comforting people that I think it’s rlly niche. He uses his hands and gets the person what he thinks they need. Like in the attached images he gets ashlyn fabric to squeeze and distracts her with light conversation, and he immediately offers to take a walk with Ben and get some fresh air. If a person refuses or asks him for space, he immediately obeys and doesn’t question their decision. He’s very trusting and understanding. He gives people room to make mistakes and gives them room to ask for help. I’m mainly bringing this up because it ties back to something I’m gonna talk about in Taylor’s section. I just think that this detail is so important to his character and we always brush over it. I don’t wanna say he doesn’t like physical touch, bc he’s always touching everything around him, but I like to think his main love language is acts of service. When you really look at it, his actions speak a lot louder than his bickering and it really helps display how much each character means to him individually. what elseee. He’s able to quickly adjust and assess situations (like when he attacked the phantom or pulled up ashlyn in the bus). He’s very quick to his feet and always needs to be interacting with something to keep his hands busy. Aiden just really don’t gaf 99% of the time (unless it’s Ben / ashlyn) and honestly that’s why I like him. He doesn’t take anything seriously or personally. clap it up for my hb. Also I notice the sbg fandom has a habit of doing it with everyone, but I feel like Aiden is always reduced to his impulsive behaviors and ‘crazy kid’ persona. please guys. look deeper into Aiden Clark. Instead of wasting your energy trying to defend a NERDY FREAK like Logan fields, you should study more on Aiden Clark and his complex character.

yes. do that. rn. You want to so badly. I know you do. Do it. Go reread sbg and focus on Aiden. wowwww. I know you want to. (I’m hypnotizing you btw) Or just ask me I can talk about Aiden (or really any character) alll day long. Ask me anything about anyone and I’ll tell you what I think with proof and evidence. yes. I just need to cut it short because I have to talk about everyone else to. But study Aiden Clark. do it. really. really. Right now. Go. Go. Now. PLUS Aiden’s probably the least likely to die because he’s to cool for that + he’s better than death and injury. YAAA!!! MAKE AIDEN CLARK UR FAV BC YOULL BE SAFE FROM ANGST 🎉

only thing I don’t like about Aiden gotta be his fashion sense sometimes (usually beginning S1). like WHAT R U WEARING MAN???? 🙁

TAYLOR:

okay now let me talk about my shnukums Taylor. I love her a lot but her and Tyler had very different childhoods regardless of the fact they were in the same situation.

We don’t know a lot about Taylor’s version of growing up, so a lot of the details are vague but everything I say is based off of observations and analyses I have personally made, so please take everything I say about Taylor’s backstory with a grain of salt and understand that no matter what, both twins were majorly affected by the passing of their father and illness of their mother.

At first i thought of Taylor was the more lucky one out of Tyler and Taylor when it came to their childhood. Yes she struggled, I knew that, but Tyler was under a lot of stress. But that’s when I realized that she suffered just as much. Although she didn’t need to sacrifice herself to help her family survive, like Tyler did, she went though the most loss. She lost her mother, father, and brother all overnight. One second they were all happy together and the next she was all alone. Physically, her mother and brother were still there, but they were both shells. Her mother isolated by grief and her brother isolated by responsibility. She was all alone. Yes Tyler did his best to support her, but at the end of the day, there wasn’t much he could do to change the situation. Taylor suffered a lot, and since people mostly focus on Tyler, we never really see Taylor’s POV of it all.

Now her backstory leads me into the fact Taylor is the most socially smart character in sbg. She is also the most observant and supportive. This is not to say others aren’t observant/supportive, like Aiden for an example, but she does it much differently. I would attach a picture here but I’m close to maxing out the photo limit and I want to save it for later.

Taylor is very good at reading the emotions of other characters. She is also very observant. Taylor is often the first to notice when a charater is uncomfortable, panicked, or harmed. For an example, she’s the first to notice Ashlyn’s fear back at the house. Unlike Aiden, Taylor is able to verbally let people know she is there for them. She comforts them through words and physical affection. Taylor is usually aware of how much support someone is in need of and the best way to display it for them specifically. For an example when Logan was getting bullied, she defended him against Tyler’s mean words and held his shoulder for reassurance. This same tactic would not work for ashlyn, and Taylor is aware of that. So, when ashlyn broke down about the struggles of being leader, Taylor comforted her through words and reassured her fears. Taylor opened up a space for ashlyn to be scared and share her burden. She was able to do all of this in only a couple of moments. This skills also becomes a werid quirk when she is able to sense Tyler’s condition in the hospital, but maybe that was just twin senses? 🤷‍♀️ idk

Taylor is also very aware of everyone around her. We know that she is very social and has a lot of friends and connections, but she also educates herself on the people she doesn’t interact with. Even if she doesn’t know a lot, she makes sure to acknowledge their presence at the very least.

What does her ability to read emotion have to do with her childhood? Well, Taylor basically lived with a shell of a family. Tyler was under constant stress, which made him prone to outbursts. Her mother was disabled by grief. Taylor was in a situation that made her feel like she had to take care of her family mentally. It was, to her, the least she could do. So, she was mentally mature from a very young age. Although having to hold the burdens of others constantly is very unhealthy, I’m not sure if she’ll crack because of it.

Taylor being very social and having a lot of friends is also another example of how she’s different from Tyler and how their shared childhood affected them differently. Tyler saw people as distractions while Taylor sees them as her means to keep living. Taylor lives off of other peoples energy, and she maintains the energy of other people by being a supportive beam for them. This is also why I’m okay with Taylor being shipped with others. She’s use to being around people and can form close bonds with others while still only viewing them as friends. Tyler cannot do the same. Taylor is in a position where she can expand her horizons into romantic relations if she was interested in doing so. That’s why I feel as though it’s okay (if that doesn’t make sense I’ll explain it again, but I tried to condense it down)

Something I don’t like about Taylor is that we haven’t gotten to see her brain in action yet. We know she’s the president of the robotics club , but we haven’t had the chance to see her charater support the story in any other way but socially and mentally. The story is only at 60 episodes though, and I’m sure we will see it eventually. Im just impatient and want to see women in STEM shine 😣😣 I wish I could talk about her more, but we barely know anything about Taylor as of right now. I will say it’s interesting how she told her and Tyler’s backstory, but only talked about how Tyler was affected and not herself. Interesting… I hope we learn more about her experiences and I hope I’m right 🙏 also CAN WE TAKE A MOMENT TO APPRECIATE HOW PRETTY SHE IS??? UGHH I LOVE HER SMM

TYLER:

I feel like Tyler has been the topic of discussion for the past couple of months because his backstory was revealed and the end of S1 / beginning of S2 was all about him and his past, so I don’t have a lot to say that I haven’t already said. but I do really like Tyler. At first when he was in his jock era I was very , oh! about him. but he’s actually warmed up to me sooooo much since then. he’s so goofy I just want more interactions between him and Aiden. I think I good place to start is how much I HATE people shipping him with other members of the main cast. I talked about it a little in Taylor’s section, but him and Taylor had very different childhoods. Again, I’m not saying their father’s death and mother’s illness was not hard on the both of them, but Tyler was under a lot of pressure too. We know he isolated himself harshly, and stopped having fun all together. The way I look at it, everything, including living day-to-day, became a chore for Tyler. Ever since he was a little kid. His dad’s death changed his entire world overnight. He had to learn how to physically and mentally support everyone important to him, because if he couldn’t no one else would. Tyler had to learn everything about living life by himself as a baby just so everyone else could survive. He stopped having fun. Little kids find fun in everything. Tyler stopped himself from finding it. He didn’t do anything for himself anymore. He was almost like a empty shell doing automatic tasks so that his sister and mother could have space to grow, heal, and live. In a sense, it was self sacrifice (which he attempts again when he tells the group to leave him behind)

So when Taylor tells us that the main cast started to become an extension of the family he sacrificed himself for, it’s so heavy on his character. Especially because for once in a long time he started relating his ‘family’ back to joy and fun, not just safety and survival. That’s why it bothers me when people ship him with others. It’s so werid to imply he’d date any of the main cast when he sees them as his family. consider them blood-siblings if you gotta, but just stop shipping them. PLEAASSSSEEEEEEEEEEE. otherwise I’ll eat your dog. thanks! also him being friends with the main cast at all is such a huge step for him. I don’t think Tyler has time to get involved with romantic relationships when he believes friends are a distraction. I know a lot of people go to romance when they want to express how strong a connection is between two characters, but you guys are forgetting that Tyler considering everyone as his friends is sooooo much more complex and deep compared to (for an example) Logan saying he considers everyone his friend. ANYWAYS ENOUGHHH!!! let’s move on.

I also wanna talk about this scene (I was to lazy to go find the original scene so the flashback is all you get). I never really realized how much ashlyn ordering Tyler around must’ve affected him. He literally spent his whole life making decisions and taking leadership and all of a sudden some random lil girl is over here telling him to stfu and sit his ass down. I would imagine as mad as he was, he probably felt a least a bit of relief. For once the responsibility wasn’t on him, at least not only on him. He could share his burden with others, and he wasn’t suffocated by being responsible for the lives of everyone else. We see this same struggle affect ashlyn, as she feels like being leader strangles her with the weight of guilt, paranoia, and responsibility. Imagine if Tyler had been the one to bare that weight after everything he’s already been through? he would’ve cracked, whether we like it or not. so let’s clap it up for ashlyn rq!!! yasss girl 😋 I know I’m rambling a lot about tyler but I know a lot about him and want to talkkk 😣 but here is my last point: Tyler’s coping mechanism to the unknown and things that confuse him is denial. Just like his mother 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

woww! do you guys remember when Tyler thought this whole thing was a joke? me too! he would’ve never thought this silly prank would almost kill him. Tyler’s mom probably thought her husband’s illness wouldn’t kill him either. oops! 😂 (I’m going kms). sorry. my point is they both refused to believe it happened (although his mom’s denial may have been more of a trauma response while his was just to help him cope). Even with evidence, they both couldn’t understand what had happened to them and pretending nothing was wrong. Tyler saw the picture of the phantom’s shadow and brushed it off to technology he couldn’t understand yet. he felt more comfortable with not knowing how technology worked rather than not knowing if he was in danger. his mother is similar. She couldn’t understand and cope with the death of her husband, even though he died in front of her. She felt more comfortable not understanding why he was late from work than understanding he was dead and gone. Guess it runs in the family? 🤷‍♀️ and since these are all things I like about his character, I will tell you what I don’t like. THAT STUPID ASS JOCK ATTUIDE FROM S1. okay I didn’t hate it, and it fit him sometimes, and I kinda miss it sometimes, but he’s like 5’5 and a stick, he is not beating no one’s ass 😭 respectfully. now he could probably rock me but he’s matured a bit since S1 so it’s different. Tyler’s not even my favorite idk why I talked about him sm , especially when I held off on talking about Aiden because I didn’t want to say to much 🤦‍♀️ whatever

BEN:

I have a lot to say about Benny boy, especially because he is SOOOOOO mischaraterized. Now I won’t go crazy like I did for the twins because I’m thinking about making a separate post just about Ben (maybe.. maybe not idk). plus I just reminded myself anon asked me to just say a few things I like and disliked about each charater not give crazy long paragraph about them. so, sorry Ben but you will probably have the most boring paragraph of them all. I still love you a lot pookie 🙏 I’m just tired AND MAXED OUT THE AMOUNT OF PICS I CAN USE EVEN THO I NEED TO TALK ABOUT U WHILE USING PICS 🤒 anyways enough rambling.

bens charater is often reduced to his backstory which genuinely makes me want to start tweaking out. if you expand on why his trauma affects him, then I will happily listen to you talk. But when most the fandom sees Ben as “music boy who hate bully, will fight you if you be mean” it makes me so SAAAADDDDD. no, Ben will NOT beat my ass for making fun of Logan. That’s like… the whole point of his backstory? He doesn’t like violence, at all. He’s ashamed of his anger issues. He blames himself for having to move and putting his family in danger. The only reason he got involved with Logan’s fight was because the phantom interference + no one was there to help calm him down.

also he doesn’t only do music. he draws too! he’s a very artistic dude. He also gardens. Ben be planting food and shit. which (as much as I HATE the ship) Logan n Ben shippers could probably use to their advantage. Yk bc Ben gardens and Logan helps his grandparents in their greenhouse? wtv. Bens prob growing flowers for Taylor anyways. Fuck Logan. sorry.

Ben is also very compassionate and gentle. He’s always thinking about what’s best for the group, even if it puts him in an uncomfortable position, like sharing his trauma. Ben is also very soft hearted. He gets flustered very easily, we see this when ashlyn and Taylor complimented him. He is very protective over those he cares about and he does not come to play, ever. Also his character development from S1 makes me so happy. He use to be attached to Aiden’s hip 24/7 and we could often only understand his emotions when Aiden would translate him to us. But we’ve seen lately that he’s much closer to Taylor, even putting her safety before his own.

wow, gentleman alert❗️if I didn’t run out of photo space than I would’ve shown more examples where he holds onto others as a way to comfort or protect them. he’s so respectful I might cry. maybe I will make a Ben-centered post. I need to show you guys pictures so you can understand what I’m saying. But Ben is growing and he needs more attention. thank you.

SUMMARY:

Ashlyn

pros:

- has crazy potential + most hinted at lore

- very relateable

-introverted but stands on business

-W relationship development between her and the cast, very natural and not forced

- her hair

cons:

- she is very hesitant to spill info (only in earlier chaps tho!)

Aiden

pros:

- silly

- observant of those he cares about

- acts of service love language

- trusting/understanding

- quick on his feet

- good at assessing situations/making plans

- he doesn’t GAF 🦅🦅 EVAAA

cons:

- often misunderstood / mischaraterized by the fandom

- has ugly ass outfits sometimes

Taylor

pros:

- most socially smart character in sbg

- good at reading emotions

- good at comforting others

- aware of her surroundings/the people around her

- supportive

- social

- super pretty

- wrote a paragraph on why it’s ok to ship her with the rest of the cast js cuz

cons:

- we don’t see enough of her robotics president side, show me women in STEM 🤬

- we never saw how she experienced childhood (yet..)

Tyler

pros:

- deep childhood trauma/responsibility

- sacrificed himself for his family twice

- not meant to be shipped with anyone in main cast

- sees main cast as family

- he finally made friends

- talked about the scene where ash tells him to shut his bitchass up

- copes by using denial (js like his mom)

cons:

- his jock attitude during S1

Ben

pros:

- hates violence

- angery at his anger issues

- ashamed of his past

- draws and gardens as hobbies

- compassionate and gentle

- soft hearted

- easily flustered

- very protective

- slow but steady quiet charater development

- a gentleman

cons:

- you guys mischaraterize him a lot (like someone told me he doesn’t change as a character bc he never speaks, ts made me mad asf)

THATS ALL! THANK YOU FOR ASKING!! again feel free to as me questions about anything at all even if you didn’t read allat. And if you did, thank you ur so sweet and amazing. Sorry for writing sm 😢

also everyone is open to their own opinions, this is just what I think. As always, I’m always down to debate.

[aroaceleovaldez]

The himbo, malewife, goofball -fication of percy jackson is such a crime by both the fans and riordan. It has made Mr not like percabeth as a couple because in all posts and in later books annabeth is such a girlboss, while Percy's dumb and can't fight his way out of a paperbag without her. All the posts are about how annabeth will be an architect and percy would love to be a trophy husband.

Even the humor in the books went from Percy's sharp wit and snark to 'my pancakes can't drown because I'm a son of poseidon.'

And now this recommendation letter bullshit.

Honestly now I'd wish percy just separated from annabeth (but they remain best friends.) He stays home with his family, becomes a camp counselor, helps young demigods, holds God's accountable and eventually becomes a social activist. (I also dislike him doing something marine biology related. It's clear he hates academics but he always wants to help people. Him helping demigods and mortals is such a wholesome profession for him.)

I fully agree with the first half of this, though I slightly disagree with part of the latter.

The later-series and fanon mischaracterization of Percy is at least a solid 50% ableism minimum, full stop. He's being warped into a very stereotyped ADHD character and the exact reason why he's being characterized as "dumb" is because of ableism. Percy is a very intelligent character! That's exactly why he's so in sync with Annabeth and they're such a strong duo! It's just generally Annabeth is more book/academically smart.

I disagree with where you say he hates academics - because that's one of the common misconceptions about his character. Percy doesn't hate learning or academic subjects! He's not even bad at them! We know explicitly that when he is in an accommodating environment he is interested in learning and gets significantly better grades! Percy only dislikes school because it is generally an environment that systematically he struggles with. It's literally just he has a learning disability (two, actually)! That's it! When his learning disability is accommodated for he does well! It's almost like that's what accommodations are all about! We know this from the first series! It's discussed pretty in-depth! Percy isn't a dumb character and he doesn't hate learning, he's just been let down by school systems so much that he's inherently distrustful of them. If they actually accommodate him though then he does just fine!

And that's exactly what CHB was all about and why New Rome University was supposed to be such a big thing for him! CHB is a learning environment geared for demigods. NRU is a demigod college. Both inherently imply an environment meant to cater to and accommodate students with ADHD and dyslexia! They are both systematically structured to be able to accommodate him! Heck, CHB and CJ even both address in the wider themes of the series a metaphor about how ADHD and dyslexia are commonly seen as childhood disabilities, and how it can be more difficult to find accommodations into adulthood because of that attitude but those disabilities don't just go away - that's why CHB is a summer camp but they talk about how demigods outside of CHB don't often fare well. The metaphor there is those who are not getting help or accommodations are struggling. Because that's how that works! This is a fully intentional metaphor from the first series! CHB is never framed as being perfect for demigods, because one of the entire central conflicts of the series is Percy and Luke going back and forth about this flawed system meant to help and support them but still letting people fall through the cracks. The "claim your kids by 13" thing is a metaphor about how acknowledging a child's disabilities (and possibly getting a diagnosis) earlier/as early as possible means they will have more time to learn and build up resources and support for themselves to be able to use later in life. One of CHB's major flaws is that it can accommodate demigods to a certain point, but it can only do so much before those demigods have to leave (the metaphor being accommodating school systems when those disabled students do not have any other forms of accommodations in their lives.)

And that's why Camp Jupiter was framed as being so revolutionary for Percy because it had an environment acknowledging that this is not just a childhood disability, adults with ADHD/dyslexia exist too and still need and deserve accommodations, AND is a place where those accommodations are available. That's why Camp Jupiter and NRU are treated as such special and important things to Percy, because it's essentially Percy being shown this type of thing can and does exist and it is available to him. It is an option he never thought was possible. Percy never thought he'd be able to go to college because he would not be able to go through school without accommodations, but NRU proves otherwise.

The part that's absolutely stupid is Rick then proceeded to retcon NRU so that apparently it's not a full college and Percy still has to take classes at normal mortal college which DEFEATS THE ENTIRE PURPOSE OF NRU EXISTING. Rick has fully retconned that demigods struggle past the ages of 16-18 when they're on their own (see above elaborated metaphors) and in doing so we have fully killed all symbolism in literally all of that. It's so stupid. And by having the plot of the CoTG trilogy entirely be that Percy is not actually allowed access to NRU in the first place because he is a son of Poseidon and has to do extra to even be accepted is stupid!

All that to say, I agree the marine biology feels like a huge cop-out and a disservice to his character by reducing him to just a son of Poseidon. The literal only reason why it's the default option people take for him is because oh, fish thing, fish guy. But I feel like everyone ignores the really obvious answer for what Percy would want to do which is - writing. Both his parents are writers/authors and he clearly admires that about them. Percy likes telling stories! He canonically is already a published author in-universe! That's what the books ARE in-universe! The first series fully exists in their universe and Percy is the author! This is explicit canonical information! Percy canonically has help physically writing it down (accommodations) but he is still the credited author! Percy is a writer! Already! Canonically! Why are we making him a marine biologist he already has a profession that ties into his character significantly more. Like you said, Percy likes helping people. That's what the books in-universe are supposed to be for! It's point blank at the beginning of the series! Book one! The thing everybody quotes all the time! The books exist because it is Percy trying to give advice to other demigods who don't know what's going on yet! It's Percy's writing down his experiences to help new demigods understand and contextualize their experiences so they can understand themselves better and figure out what's going on - WHICH IN ITSELF IS ALSO A METAPHOR ABOUT ADHD/DYSLEXIA! Because the core of the series has and always will be built around ADHD/dyslexia! Percy as a protagonist EXPLICITLY was created so that ADHD/dyslexic kids could see themselves as a hero!

Sorry that all was a very tangential rant but my point being: Absolutely. Percy in newer stuff in the franchise and in fanon is horrifically mischaracterized in ways that are functionally either fully ableist (shoutout TSATS for just outright claiming Percy is intentionally lazy and skips school out of disinterest, which is like the number one ableist attitude towards kids with learning disabilities) or a complete erasure of Percy's disabilities. Also I think he should be a writing major not a marine biologist.

[soclonely]

Hello friend! I hope you are doing well! May we receive a clones as non-military jobs?

Oh! You mean like what happened in canon after the clone wars when the Separatists and Republic found out they were being played, Palpatine was yeeted into oblivion, Anakin left the order and became a trophy husband to Padme and pod racer mechanic, and Bail Organa took over the Senate? :')) yeah! of course! Rex- I am always going to be here for Life Coach or Career Counselor Rex.

Echo- Middle school history teacher, specifically dealing with 7th graders (which he is good at because sometimes Fives has the maturity of a 14 year old)

Fives- Stand up comedian. He is funny, he has stories to share, and loves making people laugh.

Jesse- personal trainer. I feel like he'd be SOOO supportive and fun to work with.

Kix- Flight attendant. Likes to travel the world on his companies dime

Tup- Van life blogger!

Dogma- assistance principal of a high school.

Hardcase- Oh man, he has charisma. I'd say a car salesman. But he's pretty straight forward about it.

Coric- nutritionist. he wants to take care of people.

Bly- Family photographer (his favorite is catching moments of weddings and newborn family photos)

99- School crossing guard!! Everyone absolutely loves him!

Cody- He's so laid back and chill he's the perfect project manager for a company

Waxer/Boil- Childcare workers or elementary teachers

Wolffe- IT guy. I can imagine him getting SO irritated on the customer service end

Boost/Sinker- oil rig workers

Hunter- Deli owner

Wrecker- Construction site worker!!! Can you imagine the silly lunches he would eat while sitting on a beam?

Tech- Engineer of some kind. I deal with too many engineers to not say this for this clown of a man.

Crosshair- Fire range safety course teacher

Omega- Airline pilot or Zumba instructor

Howzer- with his hair? he works at the local Jamba juice for his entire life!

Fox- free lance editor. all the coffee he wants, makes his own schedule, barely has to deal with people, and I honestly feel like fox would be a big reader

Gregor- Exotic tour guide! he makes it fun and silly for even his most nervous passengers

[sunnyie-eve]

21 | Gotta Pick

Series: Unexpected

Paring: (Matt Sturniolo x OFC Brock!) (Chris Sturniolo x OFC Brock!)

Word Count: 1k

Warnings: Fuck, Marry, Kill game

| MASTERLIST |

Today the guys were filming for a car video and originally Dani wanted to stay in bed and not be in it but the constant begging bugged the shit out of her so she gave in.

"I posted a thing that said car video topics ideas. What do you want us to do? So someone said have one all about Dani. So we have a ton of questions for Dani." Nick tells the car.

"I'm scared." Dani holds herself.

"Just a bunch of random Q&As." Chris tells her.

"Hopefully they won't be too rude or wild." Matt adds.

"First question, what's the stupidest thing you've ever done?" Nick reads off of his phone.

"Change how I dressed for a guy I liked."

"Did it work for you?" Chris asks her, "Or did you look like an idiot?"

"Little bit of both actually." She laughs thinking back.

"Your favorite triplet?" Nick reads them smiles at her so they all look at her.

"Obviously Nick. He is my spirit animal I wish to be at times. You can make me laugh at literally anything." She answers, "I love you two too but Nick takes the trophy." She pats the other two in the shoulders.

"Fuck, Marry, Kill; Sam, Jake, and Corey." Nick laughs reading off to her, "That's funny for you."

"That's actually so unfair." She tells him.

"Just..." Matt starts

"Ahhhh!" Dani yells.

"Colby is gonna love this." He tells her looking back in the mirror.

"That's like if it was you three." Dani groans, "No matter what I answer I'm screwed."

"Just say it." Matt laughs, "Super fast."

"Matt!"

"What?" He laughs more, "I'm trying to help you."

"You're trying to help me?" She gives him a look, "Fuck it. Jake, Sam then Corey." She gives an answer. "I hardly talk to Corey anymore sadly so that's why I killed him. I choose to marry Sam because he like a brother so I know he would treat me well. And just yeah for Jake." 

"Dani, I'm so sorry but the three of us is the next question." Nick looks up at her as her jaw drops.

"Noooooooo!" She whines throwing her head back.

"So you gotta kill one of us." Nick tells her, "Who will it be?"

"Can we label each one different so no one has to die?" She asks so Matt cheers, "And maybe change fuck back to kiss?"

"How about we make it Kiss Marry and Ignore for a week?" Matt suggests for her.

"Can we change kiss to hug?" She asks with a smile.

"Gotta have something to make it still a little difficult." He tells her.

"But why?"

"We can keep it OG?" He tells her.

"Might as well." Chris adds.

"No matter what way I go I can't pick a Nick for the first two options." Dani stats.

"Cause I'm gay."

"Exactly, so I can't kiss/fuck or marry you." She shouts, "I'm so not your type."

"So it's ignore me for a week/kill me." Nick stats.

"So that leaves two of us." Matt laughs.

"What if don't answer?" Dani sits up to lean closer.

"Have to,"

"Convince her why she should pick you to marry." Nick tells the two in the front.

"One, I'm slightly taller than Matt." Chris makes Dani laugh, "Two, I'm funnier. Better looking too." He adds his reasons.

"Why bring up height?" Matt laughs at him too so Dani says that why she laughed, "We're both taller than her anyways so it doesn't really matter to her."

"But I'm still taller than you so hush." Chris tells him.

"But I clean and drive compared to you." Matt points out.

"I drive my husband around." Dani laughs, "Excuse me, I have to go pick my husband up from work. Yeah, I'm his Uber." Dani jokes around making them laugh, "I'd also do all the cooking and cleaning too."

"I'll have my license by then." Chris looks back at her.

"Chris is not winning her over." Nick laughs.

"Honestly, like if I didn't live with you or know you well... I'd pick you for kiss/fu-, I can't even say it." Dani stops herself so they laugh at her, "I refuse to say it while it I look at you." She covers Chris's face with her hand so she can't see him.

"That's fair so you're marrying that thing." Chris nods his head towards Matt so turns with a smile to look back at Dani.

"Don't look at me like that." She laughs as he keeps smiling, "But yeah, I'd marry Matt out of you three. Unlike my reasons with Chris, I pick based on knowing Matt." She explains, "We relate with some things."

"I agree." He nods his head.

"Dani who is your favorite brother?"

"I don't have a favorite nor can I pick out of Colby or Gage." She explains to them.

"But if you had to choose? I'll even mute the audio." Nick tells her so she covers her mouth so no one can read her lips.

"Gage," She says so the guys try not to react so big.

"What to go into detail?" Chris asks so Dani slaps him.

"No, I will not, thank you."

Nick smiles at the next question knowing he shouldn't really bring it up but he wanted to just for fun, "Which Sturniolo is the best looking?" He looks over at her, "You've said to each of us we're good looking but who comes out on top?"

Both Chris and Matt look back at her making her look between them trying not to smile, but it was more like of put on the spot awkward smile. "Umm would it really matter? You're triplets."

"Dani you know we aren't 1000% identical and you have said that yourself." Matt laughs.

All three brothers were waiting for her to give them an answer and she was dreading because how fans would react and take it so out of context. Hell, Colby would lose his mind as well hearing the video.

"Fuck it, I hate you guys. I pick Matt since I'm a Matt girly. When I first saw you guys online, I became one. Now I'm ready to run away." She says then gets out of the car causing the three to crack up.

"Well, that's the end of the car video." Chris keeps laughing, "We have to go get Dani because she literally started walking off from the car." He adds as Nick shout for her to come back.

"BYE BYE!" She shouts still walking away from the car.

"Hopefully we can get her back in the car to go and hopefully she'll be in the next car video as well." Nick says before Matt stops the recording.

[obsessive-ego]

Slumber party panic

Reader x musical Beetlejuice

Nsft

Reader has a vagina

Fic where a bunch of teens summon beetlejuice moments before the two of you are intimate

This has been in my drafts forever

...

It's been a long hard week, coworkers have been calling in sick back to back to back, leaving you to cover, so that ment longer shifts, and rougher days but such was retail, you tried not to let it get to you, and kept telling yourself the you'll treat yourself on payday.

Mentally you were fine, but it DID take a toll on you physically, you'd stumble home after a nine hour shift, being the only competent employee on that day, drop your bag, sit on the couch and just stare into space exhausted, leaving your coat on, for about an hour before you'd force yourself up and put something together to eat, at least that was how you'd spend time after work on the days you were alone.

On days beetlejuice 'graced you with his presence', the moment you stumble exhausted into your home the ghoul was already on you, with a summoned clone or two to help take away your coat and bag, and eagerly bringing you to the kitchen where a hot and ready meal was waiting for you, it was so sweet, and honestly the first time he did this for you, you cried, for a demon he was such a sweet boyfriend.

Which brings us to today, another week in the books, you had the next day off and were really looking forward to resting

"Ya know babes, it's been awhile since we made the sheets sing" beetlejuice pulled into his side as the two of you sat together on the couch ignoring the gameshow that had been providing background noise

"I know" you yawn

"So how bout I remind ya why you're with me to begin with?" He snorts out a laugh, pink hues beginning to pop in his hair

You chuckle "I'm not just dating you for your dick beej-"

"I know toots, you're hear for my rear too♡" he pushes nuzzling into you neck, a hand moving to your upper thigh, you give a soft laugh feeling the bubble of excitement begin to start up, but then you yawn again

"Am I boring you?" Beetlejuice chuckles, knowing damn well the week you've just survived

"Sorry Bee-" you start

"Forgetta bout it, why don't you let ol' mister beebleboose do all the work tonight? You deserve a treat for being such a big strong working breather, and come on babes, I gotta fulfill my end of the bargain, since I'm your trophy husband♡"

You give the ghoul a playful push, moving him off you "we're not married beej-"

Beetlejuice crawls up onto your lap, trapping you between him and the couch "not yet♡"

The idea of getting married to beetlejuice always gave you butterflies, you knew the drill with him, the dead marrying the living gave them another, or in Beetlejuice's case, his first shot at life.

"Well?" The demon snaps you out of your thoughts

"Well what?"

"Do you wanna be my pillow princess tonight?♡" he snickered knowing how you weren't too keen on the nickname

"I don't know beej, being called 'princess' isn't really a turn on-"

"Alright my pillow prince♡" he coos, pinching your cheek

You swat his hand away "I do miss being intimate with you-"

"Then its settled!" Beetlejuice scoops you up, his hair now magneta, buzzing with excitement "call me old fashioned toots, but as much as I love railing ya on the couch, I'd rather tonight we take it to the boudoir♡" The ghoul quickly carried you over his shoulder to your room, making sure to give your bum a pinch before dropping you on the bed.

"God slash satan I've been waiting all week for this" beetlejuice purrs, crawling up on the bed and leaning over you, his magenta hair buzzing and giving the room a romantic glow

"Me too" you sigh leaning up giving the demon a soft kiss, it's been a rough week, and to be honest you've been feeling guilty saying no to him every night, you wanted to as well, you just wanted sleep more.

Beetlejuice pushes you back down on the bed, breaking the kiss, not like him, normally you'd have to remind him you need air to live, but whatever

"You're wearing too much clothes, here, allow me♡" he chuckles before snapping his fingers, your clothes vanishing in thin air, aside from a simple pair of black panties.

The ghoul leans back taking a good look at your mostly naked form, even though he's seen you like this so many times, his lecherous stare always made you a tad shy.

"It's been too long" he groans loosing his tie

"It's only been a week" you try to sit up only to have the ghoul push you back down

"Time works different when you're dead, now close your eyes and give daddy some sugar" beetlejuice purrs leaning forward, his long striped tongue leading the way

You do as instructed, having no desire to be what some would call a brat, you close your eyes and lightly part your lips ready to start a much desired night of passion.

You waited for a second or two, yet nothing, you knew beetlejuice as an inpatient guy, especially when it came to being intimate, so you peak.

He was gone

"Beetlejuice?"

Nothing

"Beetlejuice?"

Still nothing

"Beetle-?" You stop half way, knowing he'd normally stop you before you got all three B words out, but he didn't come

Oh, he was messing with you

"Okay" you start breaking the B word chain, then it hits you, maybe he's gonna try that thing the two of you were talking about, awhile ago you mentioned to beetlejuice you thought the idea of being 'railed' or 'taken advantage of' by an invisible entity is incredibly hot and if he was up to it, you'd very much like to try it with him, and by God, the demon was foaming at the mouth, and practically vibrating with excitement when you asked him that.

As that thought crossed your mind you eagerly lay back down against the pillows, sliding your panties downs leaving them hanging on your ankle, and spreading your legs. You lay there beaming with excitement waiting for the shoe to drop, but as 5 minutes pass your feelings fade to disappointment

Maybe this is beej's way if telling you he didn't really want to have sex with you tonight, maybe when he asked you earlier he was hoping you'd turn him down again, your heart squeezed at the thought and the humiliation you put yourself through, laying there like an idiot, was he getting back at you for turning him down ever night this week?

"If you didn't want to have sex you should have said something you ass" you cry getting off the bed and beginning to find something more comfortable and cozy to go to sleep in.

"You can forget sharing the bed tonight too" You couldnt help but tear up, he made you look like a fool, waiting for him laying there naked for almost an hour, he's probably in this room laughing at you, enjoying his shitty revenge game.

You plug your phone in and crawl under the covers of your bed, already warm from you laying there like a dumbass, you wanted to cry until you couldnt breath, this had to be the meanest thing ANYONE, let alone your partner, have ever done to you, just as you turn over ready to cry yourself to sleep, your phone rings.

You grab your phone off the night stand, wipe your eyes and awnser a shaky "hello?" Assuming it was a coworker calling last minute to ruin your day off tomorrow.

"Hey, babes? Call me back asap!"

"Beetlejuice?" What did he mean call him back? Wasn't he here?

"Two more doll, hurry up!"

He sounded alittle upset

"Where are you?"

He groans "just call me back and I'll explain" you could hear young girls crying in the background "I'll just be a minute" he shouts away from the phone, but still is herd by you

"Beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice" you get it over with tired of this back and forth, you hear the clunk of the phone he was holding hit the floor then the disconnect tone.

In a puff of green smoke he was back, the magneta in his hair now gone, replaced with an awful mix of purple and red, the pink that graced his suit moments before his disappearance? Now the same awful mix as his hair, though the colours quickly fade back to pink when he sees you

"BABES!" He lunges at you, the bed creaks when he makes contact with the mattress, the demon was quick to wrap his arms around you and nuzzle in, to which you push away

"What happened?" Your voice was stern and demanding, you wanted answers and wanted them now.

"Aw babes" beetlejuice starts rubbing the back of his neck "it was rough, apparently some kids at Lydia's school herd her summon me, so they did it too, ya know, a bloody Mary party game situation"

He was pulled away, he was pulled away against his will, he didn't snub you, god this made your gut turn, you were upset for nothing.

"Thank whoever I was still fully clothed when it happened huh babes?" The ghoul gives you a nudge "let me set the scene for ya toots" Beetlejuice crawls up against the headboard with you, slinging an arm over your shoulder and pulling you in

...

"Give daddy some sugar♡" was the last thing he said to you before being pulled from your bed.

Lips still puckered leaning forward, an unfamiliar scream breaks the mood

Opening his eyes, before him sat 3 teenage girls

The room was dimly light by a hand full of led candles

It took the ghoul merely a moment to adjust to the situation, adjusting his tie, and smoothing his hair back, no longer magneta, but now red, these little brats ruining the night he's been craving all week.

"I cant believe it worked"

"A real live ghost"

"This is so cool"

"What have we done?! He's totally gonna kill us"

The chatter amongst themselves as of this was all a silly game

Beetlejuice clears his throat to stop noise and gain the kids attention

"Alright-" he starts

"Okay mister ghost, we summoned you so you have to do as we say, just like you did for that creepy lydia girl" what beetlejuice could only assume was the ringleader in this pack of teens, stood up straight poking him in the chest, the ghoul cringes at the mention of Lydia, guess Babs was right, maybe the two of em should be more careful in public spaces, but he sure as hell wasn't gonna to spread it around he got caught and summoned. Beetlejuice pushes the thought of a lecture out of his mind, he had bigger fish to fry, meaning to get home and rail you, you must be worried sick, you poor vagina drying up in his absence.

"First off we want you to-" the kid's voice snapped him from his musing back to the current problem

"Alright kid, I'm gonna stop ya right there, this isn't a 3 wishes genie situation, I'm a demon, ya know, from hell, and you 3 pulled me away from some serious demon business, I should eat the lot of you for it"

As Beetlejuice ranted his form changed, becoming more monstrous, his teeth shapper, his claws more prominent, his eyes more snake like, all around more intimidating.

The teens huddle together in fear pleading for their safety and passing around the blame of who's idea to summon him was.

"But I won't" at those words the demon features fade and he returns to his default look, although still red "if you kids do something for me"

At this point the girls were sobbing, noses running, babbling unintelligible sounds, and clinging together for dear life

"Can I use your phone?"

...

"Wow" was all you could say

"I know, I know, I've been through alot tonight, I could really use some comfort, so how bout we~" he leans into you nuzzling his beard into you neck, you gasp at the sensation, feeling his tongue lick the stripe up your neck.

"Oh Bj♡" You let out a soft moan

"I know toots♡" he groans guiding you back to laying beneath him "now where were we?♡"

...

.....

Bonus

Lydia: hey so that girl who's been being mean to me hasn't done anything to me in awhile

Beej: ....haha weird....

Y/n: ...yeah weird

[murderdogwater]

Stardew Bachelors and Bachelorettes as house spouses

Hayley: Can cook, won't clean, likes to bake. She gets too grossed out by wet food in the sink and refuses to do the dishes 90% of the time. She likes being a trophy wife and is getting better about cleaning, but she still gets too grossed out to do dishes. Unless she needs to

Maru: Uh... simple stuff, sure, after that no. She'll clean up, but don't let her cook. She can bake. It's more exact than cooking, and she likes the outcome more than cooking.

Penny: Number one housewife. But no, she can't cook and can't bake. You have to tell her at some point, or you'll be eating biohazards til death do you part. Otherwise, she's good at cleaning because she finds it therapeutic, and having a clean house is one of the main things that she wanted once she was away from Pam.

Abigail: Nope,can't cook or bake at all, and hate dishes. If it weren't for the fact that you make most of the money, she'd rather get a real job and let you do the house stuff. But she tries, and you love her even if her food is pretty disgusting.

Leah: Yes, and her food is really good and really good for you. She can't bake, though. Anytime she tries to make any kind of baked good, it goes to shit immediately. She likes to clean, though, gives her time to think about art projects, and she gets inspiration from the smallest of things.

Emily: Learned from the best in town, of course she can cook, but she likes raw vegan stuff, so it's a lot of quinoa and tofu. She likes to clean too, especially to music so she can dance along. Can't bake, though, but is learning. She left the baking to Haley, so she's sort of catching up.

Sam: No-ish, I think Jodi kinda expected him to end up like his father or end up with a traditional wife who stays at home. But I think much like Penny, he's learning, he got some recipe books and he's trying things out to be a good house husband he's already got cleaning down though because he likes to sing while he works.

Sebastian: Much like Maru, he can't cook, but he can bake (for obvious reasons 🍃) he makes good snacks, too. He also likes to clean while you do farm work. It's satisfying, and he can do it while he's on call for his job.

Elliott: Okay, Elliott can't cook. He doesn't even have a kitchen in his cabin and goes to the bar a lot. I also think he's learning how to cook. He's also pretty alright at cleaning, but he's not very good at it yet (the difference between a tiny cabin on the beach and a farmhouse with a busy spouse).

Shane: He can cook and bake (🍃), but he's awful at cleaning and kinda doesn't like it. He does it because he doesn't want a divorce or to be seen as one of the weaponized incompotence dudes, so he's learning because he likes being a house husband and he wants you to trust him.

Alex: You'd think I'd say he's bad at it all, but honestly, being raised by Evelyn, I think he'd be a pretty good trophy husband. You come home to fresh baked cookies and a warm meal that's actually pretty healthy. The house is clean too because he has old people standards and gets a bit anxious if things are too messy (reminds him of his dad).

Harvey: Decent cook, is a little rusty from years of being the only doctor in town and being busy 24/7 he can't bake, though, always ends up burning it. Good at cleaning and likes to do the dishes because it relaxes him.

[maturemenoftvandfilms]

Top 10 Politicians 2024

DISCLAIMER: This list is for 'politicians I'd like to fuck' and is purely based on appearance, not politics. If you don't agree with my selection, either scroll onwards, post your own idea of a PILF, or try another blog. People are tired of hearing weak minded, mentally broken people wine about reality.

#10. Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC)

An American politician serving as the senior United States senator from South Carolina, a seat he has held since 2003. Of course I’ve got my senate bottom bitch, Sen. Graham here. I kinda understand all the political hate, but I think he’s a mature southern gentleman from my state and I’d love to beat his ass like he stole something from me. And when I’m done with him, I’ll send him over to the next guy as I know I’m not the only one who’d fuck him.

#9. Rick Pate (R-AL)

An American politician serving as the 30th Commissioner of Agriculture and Industries in Alabama. He just looks like a guy I could spend a weekend with… fucking like rabbits.

#8. Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX)

An American politician and attorney serving as the junior United States Senator for Texas since 2013. Honestly, Ted’s here and this high only to piss off liberal, super political fuckers who can’t separate looks from politics. Now that doesn’t mean I don’t want him naked in my bed with my jizz all over his face.

#7. Rep. Glenn Thompson (R-PA 15th District) 

An American politician serving as the U.S. representative for Pennsylvania’s 15th congressional district since 2019. Nice and manly, he looks like he would be a champion in bed.

#6. Gov. J. B. Pritzker (D-IL)

An American businessman, philanthropist, attorney, venture capitalist, and politician serving as the 43rd governor of Illinois since 2019. J. B. seems like the type that could be had. Nothing to base that on other than he has a look of a guy that if you get him in the right situation, cock will be in that mouth and ass. Plus, he’s rich. I’m not saying that’s a reason to date him. Just a nice side benefit.

#5. Rep. Don Bacon (R-NE 2nd District) 

An American politician and retired military officer serving as the U.S. representative for Nebraska’s 2nd congressional district since 2017. Handsome, nice tits and body. This man is husband material. Better yet, trophy husband material. The type of guy you can walk into a room with him on your arm, telling everyone “Yeah… I’m fucking this.”

#4. Michael G. Strain (R-LA)

Mike is a short chub with nice tits and a body that was made for bottoming. How could I not be in lust.

#3. Lt. Gov. Mike Kehoe (R-MO)

An American politician serving as the 48th lieutenant governor of Missouri, having been in office since June 18, 2018. Mike embodies all-American masculinity and has many male fans here on tumblr who'd happily follow the Lt Gov. into any seedy roadside motel for oral service and a nice tight ass to breed.

#2. Rep. Michael (R-IL 12th District) 

An American politician. This man is almost perfect. The only thing wrong with him is that he isn’t in my bed. Nice build, nice dresser and a very handsome face.

#1. Sen. Jon Tester (D-MT)

An American politician serving as the senior United States Senator from Montana, in office since 2007. If you didn’t know that Jon would be my #1, you must be a new follower.

[takaraphoenix]

Ok so I just finished watching Shadow and Bone for the first time and I knew you had watched it before so I came to see what your opinions on some of it was. Didn't really see anything for what what is probably my favorite ship is but I don't really care about that right now. I think I'm more interested in knowing what you're Top 5 favorite ships are (Top 10 if you feel like you're having a hard time narrowing it down to just 5 but from what I saw, I don't think that would be a problem???). Also, if you feel up to it, any favorite headcanons for the various characters or ships you might want to include. Much love to you Phoe!!! Now I'm off to go consume for content because I need my pretty men... gods, why are there so many pretty men in this show 😭😭😭 a lot of pretty women too, though I'm gay so it's just aesthetically pretty on their part, lol

oooh you watched ot for the first time! I hope you liked it! And well now I'm cirious what your favorite ship was.

Since I only have exactly 10 ships in this fandom, I will give you a top 10! lol Though since these are all the ships, they actually do span the entire spectrum of "I am obsessed with this", "I've written for this" to "it's a nice sidepairing! I liked when they were on screen but don't really think about them when they're not".

Aleksander/Alina

Inej/Alina

Kaz/Jesper

Genya/Alina

Tamar/Inej

Nikolai/Mal

Nikolai/Alina

Tamar/Nadia

Jesper/Wylan

David/Genya

+ bonus: Tolya/poetry

because I definitely came out of this headcanoning Tolya as aroace and I want this softest of boys to find someone who will platonically share his love of poetry with him. Please. He deserves it.

Not a secret that Darklina is my OTP. I'm not exactly quiet about it. They make me feel all shades of unhinged. I gotta get onto writing about them, honestly, can't believe that hasn't happened yet, but I guess that s1 left me too satisfied with canon overall to want to write just yet. Currently nose-deep in fics about them.

Alina and Inej is a solid second. They didn't have much interaction but what they had was gold. The blade protecting her saint. The worship and awe. These two badasses. I love them. And, much like Alinej, both Kaz/Jesper and Genya/Alina were also ships I came out of s1 with and wrote for after that.

Honestly, Tamar/Nadia would rank higher if the show had dedicated more time to them, but they happened so much in the background and I'm genuinely mad about that. I had to sit through so so so much straight drama especially in this season, but the only wlw ship in this entire show and they barely got screentime. They were cute together, visually, but... I didn't get enough of what made them click, or of Nadia's personality in general to be quite honest, to be as invested as I wanted to be (because I did. I knew that Nadia was a wlw and I knew that Tamar would be introduced this season and I was looking forward to this). So, with what the show gave me? I was like "daw, cute" when they were on screen, yeah.

On the other hand, I love both Tamar and Inej, and the potential of Inej now on the ship makes me think of the potential of those two together. Now, I am a lover of poly so I would not be opposed to just mashing these two ships together either. But I'm really intrigued by Tamar/Inej primarily here.

Nikolai and Alina worked surprisingly well. Didn't think I'd end up with another guy for Alina aside from Aleksander. But I really liked their chemistry and the fake marriage plotline absolutely ended me. He could be her trophy husband, I wouldn't mind.

Jesper and Wylan were honestly a positive surprise to me! You know me, you know my track-record with canon mlm ships! I usually do not like them. So that they made the list at all is great. I'm not super invested, but I thought they were adorable.

And Genya and David were cute too. I don't get why they killed David off? From what I gather, they don't in the books, so that was weird. But I thought they were nice.

Headcanons? Mostly sexuality wise.

Ace Kaz. Ace Kaz was the first once I had. I know his touch aversion roots in trauma but I recognize a lot of my own sex-repulsion in his behavior and am projecting hard so ace Kaz. Also definitely dom Kaz, have you seen that man rule his club, or bring Pekka to his knees (not that I want Pekka to sub for him, ew, but the power Kaz radiated in that moment was *chef's kiss*).

Nikolai the pan pirate who definitely should never have been a prince, like, I would love him so much more if he had just been a pirate but thoughts on the monarchy and how that plotline was handled are too much for this post. ANYWAY yeah I think Nikolai should go back onto his ship and pirate away with his boyfriend. Also, just, can you believe the Enemies to Lovers arc Mal and Nikolai had? I mean, they literally went from "I refuse to know your name" to "take my name", like that is explicitly something that happened in canon. Wild.

Lesbian Inej, which I know, not a popular headcanon in the fandom since the fandom seems to unanimously ship her and her endgame romance. I just... don't really get romantic vibes there at all, even after season 2. I like them as friends, a lot. But I'm getting huge lesbian vibes from Inej and will be clinging onto that, even more so after how little wlw love s2 gave me.

Mal as a suppressed gay would be fun. Like, his thing with Alina was annoying. He didn't give a damn about her romantic feelings for him until she had a boyfriend and suddenly he got jealous. I don't like these types of writings. So I'd love to see that more as Mal never having been romantically interested in her at all, just friend!Mal afraid to be abandoned. The cheeky pirate is his gay awakening. All the girls - and apparently book!Mal was kind of a slut - were just him trying really hard to be straight.

Alina is just a bi queen. And queen literal. That's where the "Niko should go sail with his bf" part comes into play, because... the monarchy needs to go down. She should rule, she should have never supported the damn royal family that's been enslaving and oppressing Grisha for centuries, I just. I don't like that part. I really don't. Ship to rule beside her is optional (Aleksander, Genya, okay fine Nikolai but like she rules, he's just her trophy husband), but queen!Alina is a must. Though gotta admit for my Alinej I still love her as a part of the Crows - post s1, I wrote some where Alina and Mal just... stayed with the Crows after they left Ravka and I'm still fond of that. I still think that would be a fun take.

[great-master-airplane]

Hey! I hope this is ok to ask about but I was curious about your original piece that you mention on occasion (cocat?). I'd like to know what it's about, or if you could share something you like about it or would want people to know.

I just really like your writing and I'm deeply curious about what an original work would look like from you :)

Hi!! Of course it's okay to ask!!! I'm always eager to talk about cocat!! Thank you for asking!! This book is my baby, and I'm >////< glad that somebody is curious about it!

Putting this under a read more just in case I ramble a little~

If I were to tag cocat (which spelled out is City of Crime and Teeth), it would fall under the twisted and fluffy category. The focal point of the novel is the relationship between Malise, an unwilling and listless crime boss who sees no way out of his current position other than his own inevitable death, and his husband Riot, a man he married the night they met who has plenty of his own dangerous secrets. They both have their shortcomings, with Malise not knowing how to deal with his emotions and Riot believing that he'll never have a place he can truly call home. Neither one have any idea how to navigate this strange relationship they find themselves in, but they both dig their teeth in the moment they meet. It's immediate, simultaneous obsession for the both of them, and they change each other indefinitely. Their relationship would be considered toxic for anybody else, but it works for them.

I really love writing emotion, and that's a big part of Malise's journey. He always thought that he couldn't feel things because he'd never been taught how, but he actually feels too much, especially in regards to Riot. Meeting Riot is like a burst of color in his otherwise bleak world, and he doesn't know what to do with all of these new things that he's feeling. It confuses the hell out of him, but he'd burn the world for Riot's sake.

And Riot is such a little shit, too. I adore him. He's lived the past ten years on the streets, so when he's suddenly a trophy wife (Malise's words and a definite point of contention between the two) Riot sure as hell takes advantage of that to indulge himself and spend as much of Malise's money as he can. And he's anything but a trophy wife. He's strong and lithe and fiercely devoted to his incredibly stupid and reckless husband. He thinks his situation is temporary; he thinks that Malise will eventually get bored and kill him, and Riot hates how much he ends up loving him.

Cocat is honestly a bit different from what I usually write, if I'm being honest. It's a little dark, a little angsty, but it's also about two incredibly broken people, two victims of circumstance who firmly believe they're only capable of cruelty and pain but have to learn how wrong they are.

Also featured in this mildly violent package: a found family consisting of these two married dumbasses, a pair of knife-wielding twins (one of which is trans, but neither one wants to tell me who it is. And frankly, it's none of my business), possibly the worst but most well-meaning secretary ever, and an ace lesbian who is easily the most unhinged character I've ever written (and easily my favorites. I love her so much).

So yeah! This got away from me a little, but I don't usually get to talk about cocat ^^; so thank you again for asking! And if you were ever interested, I posted a tiny drabble here~

[kirain]

What did you think of Starfield?

Honestly?

Meh. I was kind of excited, but ultimately disappointed. I know some people loved the game and I'm glad they did, but personally I found it mind-numbingly boring. For every one mission I enjoyed, ten others cured my insomnia. In the beginning I was having fun, but then I recognised a pattern. Mostly empty planets, the same loot, maybe ten different building designs, fetch quests, mining, then over encumbered. Most of the companions are bland and generic, and at times it sounded like even the voice actors were tired. I struggled to get to the end, but I felt bad because my friend bought it for me when it was at full price. He knows I'm an avid trophy/achievement hunter and I didn't want him to waste his money, so I promised myself I'd 100% it ... and I did.

Ignore the 300 hours, because it's not actually true. I didn't spend that much time playing at all. Total, I'd say I spent maybe 100? Often I would end up leaving my computer to cook or watch TV or something, because my ADHD brain couldn't keep going, and I just left it running. Overall, I'd say I had more bored and frustrated hours with the game than fun hours. The story isn't all that interesting, the repetition is out of hand, and in my opinion there were only two good characters. Coe was my husband and Barrett was my best friend ... so if you know you know. That mission was kind of the straw that broke the camel's back for me, because it felt cheap. Usually I don't mind plot points like that, but my interest was already only holding on by a thread. All in all, I expected better.

I did have a friendly pet dog, though.

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Hi~♡ please allow me to me to rank and analyze the entire list of writing propositions you put out while I avoid the last chapter of yamqn because I am keeping it to a moment when I can create the perfect atmosphere to read it properly.

1° werewolf!txt au full fic - that one is a little special to me cause the basis for that one was the first of your writings I ever came across

2° necromancer!oc and TaeGyu - the plot just sounds really really interesting and I love the little touch of classic horror and morbid themes i am getting from this one. that hint of a 70's horror sexploitation vibe

3° teaching your best friend Gyu how to fuck full fic - how not to love this one? it's guaranteed quality enjoyment. THE safe bet

4° bear!hybrid Gyu - the little excerpt you posted a while ago got me mad you ended it there. I want more. and bears are very much to my liking in hybrid fic for the contrast of being stupidly fluffy and cute but at the same time deadly dangerous

5° puppy!gyu getting teased by kitten you full fic - love how the synopsis basically implies that we are the pet's pet 💀. aside from that it's a perv!gyu fic with a bonus of fluffy ears and tails.

6° fox hybrid!Jun and owner!Bin - the synopsis got me interested in the dynamics with yeonjun. the idea of him being a arrogant fox for being highly desired and at the same time a cheap overused sex toy for rent... sublime.

7° puppy hybrid!Gyu and best friend kitty!Oc

8° YAMQN priest sequel - let's go sexy priest! the religious macabre is a special kind of subtle horror aesthetic, I love it... the juxtaposition of divine and corrupt, salvation and oppression, inconditional love and eternal existential doom (yes, I was raised catholic lol)

9° YAMQN barista sequel - it has potential, but I feel like something is missing. maybe it's the word barista that is tricking me into seeing this as more basic than it really is.

10° yandere soulmates TaeGyu - for some reason the synopsis reminded me of another fic that had a very similar theme, I really did not enjoy reading that one. I mean, if anyone can do it right it's probably you but I don't know

11° arranged marriage prince!Gyu - I don't think I will be able to read a prince!gyu fic and NOT think of yamqn for a while

12° perv!Soobin - too close to the cannon version of him I have in my brain 💀 (sorry, soobin biased people... don't take that as offense please)

13° senior Oc and yandere!tyun - when I was reading the title the first thing that came to mind was "senior oc" as in senior citizen Oc! straight up retired rich old lady Oc with her young hunk trophy husband that only married her for her money and is secretly trying to murder her... now I want the version I imagined more than the one you propositioned lol

14° stepbro!Tyun full story - not my type of porn category. as someone with giant frankstein of a family tree that has more divorces and remarriages than people... it's a bit uncomfortable.

15° best of the best - not txt

16° high stakes - found myself frowning while reading the prompt for some reason

17° ceo son!leeknow - not txt. and every fanfic that features a ceo or ceo son as the romantic interest reminds of fifty shades 💀 so no thanks

(I already voted on the poll hihi)

~♡anon

good idea. i honestly haven't even read it again after posting it (which i usually do to give myself perspective on what the hell i just did) because i'm scared lmao. let me comment on your comments

so many people came to my blog from that fic wow it's honestly so surprising as that fic was almost like an afterthought that i didn't really expect to get back to

yup we love horror sexploitation in this house lmao. though i'd definitely need ideas on where to take the fic as other than the original premise and the dynamics between the characters, i don't know here to ultimately take it

definitely a safe bet. fluffy smutty goodness

i love this much a lot too but my only reservation is that it's pretty similar to the yandere puppy gyu cabin fic i recently posted. both involve oc getting tricked into mating with her crazy best friend

it is a perv!gyu fic and it is soooo cute. weirdly enough it's inspired by this video of a real life cat and dog lmao

this one was an ooooold request but yes owner soobin basically degrading jun for being an overpriced dildo and jun being offended that this dumb vixen isn't falling for him like all the other vixens is just yum

exactly lmao

this one can go alright or be super dark and disturbing depending on the version you guys choose (if this option even gets chosen)

oh believe me there is nothing basic about it. that's just a front to lull you into a false sense of security before unleashing the classic gyu moves of manipulation and gaslighting and convincing reader she's insane as the story gradually devolves

oh this is actually inspired by one of my favorite fics that i've read. give it a read i'm sure you'd love it too

fair enough, but this gyu is super sweet and adorable

i fail to see the issue 😌😂

lmao i'm all for older readers (since i'm older than all the boys) but not to the level of senior citizen lmao. but i did think of making a sugar mommy au

makes sense. i never had a step sibling so i don't share the same trauma lmao

😂😂😂😂

really? it's actually more of that campy sexploitation horror than even number two since it's inspired by an episode of buffy the vampire slayer

tbf i was considering changing it to gyu (because ofc I would) and it's nothing like fifty shades of grey at all. it's peak bratty sub idol and oc putting him in his place

[fireessie]

14, 21, 25 please

14) a fic you didn’t expect to write

100% it's got to be my Logan/Lance fic 😅 I have no idea where the inspiration for it came from but once I had it, it wouldn't go away until i'd written it. I did always fancy writing a sequel but couldn't nail down where I wanted to go.

21) most memorable comment/review

So as is a theme, I can't pick just one.

I absolutely appreciate every single comment, kudos whatever, I cannot stress enough. I love each and every one of you. 🧡🧡

25) a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read

Ahhh either “World Championship Trophy Husband” by gho (hellwurld) which is a WIP but honestly so so so good. Or “Al Dente” by TalicTriesToWrite. If you're interested in Evil Oscar those are for you 😅

[waynes-multiverse]

It’s rare that I actually get emotional and have to psych myself up to read the last installment of a story because I don’t want it to end, but Plastic Hearts is definitely one of them.

I felt the same way! It took me a few hours to actually hit "Post" because I didn't like the finality of it all 😆

Damn, Jo!

Jo was on fire in this part (in the best way possible)! One of the reasons why reader wasn't able to be with Dean yet. I really thought she needed to fix things with Jo first. She was her oldest and closest friend and knew her the best. I think reader really needed the assurance of that "tough love" pep talk!

Ok, I am so incredibly proud of him here, I got a bit misty-eyed - and even moreso when he declined the lap dance.

So much growth on his end! I wanted to show that he didn't instantly revert back to his old self like he used to, even with reader turning him down 💪

I could totally see her fighting mountain lion, and winning

If anyone could, it's Meg 😆 I'm also pretty sure she's the only one who could've actually survived that camping trip. (And I love how right Dean was about it being a total disaster!)

thank God for Ruby!

Here’s a sentence no one ever thought we’d say 😂

I love that he fired her – just when I don’t think I could love Dean more, I do. And the fact he go to New York with her – what an amazing man!

Yup, that was the little proof reader needed to see how right Jo was and how supportive Dean truly is. He’ll be the best trophy husband and red carpet arm candy there is 😆❤️

And the whole scene in the theater - fucking perfect!

So happy you loved that scene! I really wanted to bring it all back where their friendship truly started (and Dean itched to propose for the first time). And I really want to write a wedding one-shot where Dean finally meets the parents because it would for sure be hilarious 🤣

I adore this beyond words, and would totally include this in a comfort anthology of my favorite stories on this site if I could!

Aww, I'm honestly so happy so many found my little writer's block goof-off that was never supposed to be seen or read by anyone else but me so highly entertaining. It was my pleasure to bring y'all some joy and laughs 🥹🤍

(PS: Aside from that wedding one-shot, I'd love to do a smaller series about their time in Vegas and give all of the girls a proper send-off as well 🫶 – Also, imagine the wolf pack in Vegas of all places 😂)

Plastic Hearts – Part 25

Pairing: Director!Dean Winchester x Actress!Reader

Series Summary: Los Angeles, 1985. Y/N’s a young actress without any success, hopping from one failed audition to the next until one desperate mistake brings her to her breaking point. Dean Winchester, on the other hand, is a grade A asshole and washed-up director at the end of his career, known for his godawful slasher movies in the 70s and his love for blow, booze, and women. Lost in the toxic Hollywood life, their paths cross when one hopeless little wrestling show changes their trajectory.

Chapter Warnings: +18, a tinge of angst, FLUFF

Word Count: 5.7k

A/N: I'm not sad... 🥲 Honestly, I don't have words beyond gratitude and cliché goodbyes, so let's end this journey together 🤍

<< 24 || Spotify Playlist || Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist

25. Dare

“Ugh, I can’t believe you convinced everyone to come out here,” Jo groans and raises her flat palm to her brows, shielding her eyes from the scalding desert sun. “What the fuck is wrong with Palm Springs, huh?”

“C’mon, we’ve always wanted to go to Joshua Tree together since we moved to LA. This is like the perfect time,” Y/N argues cheerfully and nudges her friend with her elbow. “Look! It’s so peaceful.”

“There’s a dead carcass over there. Looks like a symbol of my marriage,” Jo deadpans.

Y/N purses her lips before compelling another positive smile to her face. “We can get rid of that. The girls really needed this after the whole Crowley debacle.”

The group left straight after the network meeting in Dean’s office this morning, which didn’t go as planned, to say the least. While several executives were surely interested, Crowley and H-ELLTV put an abrupt end to it. Apparently, they sold their fucking souls by signing a contract with the devil. Crowley’s words still rang in her ears on repeat.

“Hate to be the bearer of bad news, ladies, but H-ELLTV owns your characters, which means you can’t sell them to another network. You all signed a contract and made a deal. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, fucking asshole…” Jo huffs her agreement but then throws her friend a suspicious sideways look. “What’s up with you, though? Why are you so chipper and cheerful like a fucking Disney princess? I thought you of all people would be fucking depressed and devastated about the stupid show ending.”

Y/N shrugs. “I am. I’m just trying to make the best of our last weekend together. Can’t I be happy?”

“Fuck no.” Jo shakes her head. “Something’s up with you. Usually, when you’re like this, it’s overcompensation ‘cause you’ve fucked something up. If I were still married, I’d think you’ve fucked my husband all over again. So, what did you do?”

Y/N shrugs once more and keeps her eyes trained on the sprawling desert landscape in front of her. “Nothing.”

“Dean also was a bigger asshole than usual this morning. So, I’m asking again, what shit did you fuck up now?”

“Nothing, okay? Dean’s always an asshole,” Y/N deflects defensively. Although, even she has to admit – those were some spectacularly icy green eyes this morning. Not that he ever looked directly at her or spoke with her even once. She probably would’ve turned to stone if he did.

“Fine, don’t tell. God knows I don’t fucking care,” Jo says indifferently and joins the other women as they set up their tents on the campground.

Y/N lets out a small sigh as she stares at the bluest sky she’s ever seen while the hot desert sun beams down on her. She watches the girls for a while, her heart slightly cracking at the thought this might be the last time they all hang out together. This year has been the best one she’s ever had.

But then, her heart stings even more when she thinks about the one person who isn’t here, wondering what he’s doing right now. If anything, she owes it all to him.

Dean nurses his beer with a sigh, his green eyes barely paying attention to the half-naked girl who’s winding herself up and down a silver pole in front of him. This used to bring him joy – day-drinking at a strip club and watching tits bounce. But now all he thinks about is how that girl looks nothing like Y/N. None of them do.

“Hey, son. Startin’ early today,” Bobby notes with a chuckle as he sits down next to him.

“Yeah, they canceled the show.” And while that’s certainly true, it’s not the reason why Dean’s sulking at a titty bar.

“Too damn bad. I loved the show!” Bobby tells him enthusiastically. “It was insane. Good insane. It had everything – comedy, drama, heartache, tits, violence, a fucking wedding? There’s something for everyone there.”

“Well, uh, thanks, Bobby. Really appreciate it,” Dean tells him politely. He likes the guy, but he’s not in the mood for chitchat. He’s barely in the mood for naked women, for crying out loud. This is a deep fucking depression.

There are only two promises he’s made to himself: One, he won’t slump like he did after his last divorce. There will be no excessive drinking, which leads to excessively pathetic crying, which leads to a myriad of bad choices out of sheer desperation. Remember that awful dating videotape he made? Yes, there will be no more of that. And then there’s of course two, no drugs – no matter how much he tells himself he wants or fucking needs them. A tiny dot of hope seems to be still dormant in his plastic heart, reminding him that she might come back, and he doesn’t want to risk disappointing her once she does.

Dean has worked fucking hard to be the best version he can be – a version she doesn’t seem to give a shit about. But even he has to admit: He likes himself a lot better now, so he refuses to turn back to old comforts, albeit it’s the hardest thing he’s ever had to do.

“You guys interested in doing a floor show?”

Bobby’s words pull him from his reverie. Dean arches a brow at him, straightening a bit in his seat. “What? Here?”

Bobby rolls his eyes. “No, idjit. My wife Ellen has some stakes in a club on the Vegas Strip. She manages the hotel there, too. They’re looking for a new headliner. Just do the exact same show, night after night, 300 miles east. Vegas is where the money is. Headliners make at least 25 grand a week. You think that gym is big? We have to fill 1,100 seats.”

Dean stumps and blinks at the old man a bit baffled. “Well, uh… I’ll think about it. Talk to my partner, the girls…”

Bobby smiles and pats his shoulder as he gets up. “You do that. I’ll call you tomorrow. Now, how about a lap dance? On the house. Can pick any girl that fancies your heartache. You ain’t foolin’ an old man like me.”

Dean chuckles. “Nah, I’m good. But thanks. Think I’m gonna head home and drink myself into a coma there.”

“It’s getting dark soon. How much longer?” Jo’s brown eyes dart to Y/N as she drags her feet over a rocky path. The sun stings less than it did when they started their little hike, but her skin feels perfectly tanned by now and the water is running low.

“Uh, I think it’s supposed to be just up ahead that hill,” Y/N muses and swirls her head around the formation of rocks that all look the same, squinting her eyes into the distance.

Jo sighs, and her stare intensifies. “You’ve been saying that for over an hour. Are we lost?”

“Noooo…” Y/N doesn’t sound convincing and surely doesn’t fool Jo with her reply.

“Alright, gimme the map.”

“I don’t have the map. I gave it to Meg.”

Jo groans and rolls her eyes, throwing her arms up in exasperation.

“What? Meg’s the trail leader. Trail leader gets the map,” Y/N defends her faux pas with reason.

“Great! So we’re fucking lost in the desert,” the blonde huffs.

Y/N chuckles lightly, mostly out of uncomfortableness and panic she tries to hide behind it. “No, there’s a trail marker right over there,” she says, pointing to a pile of rocks. “That looks manmade.”

Jo quirks her brow. “You mean like that pile of rocks? Or that one over there?”

Y/N follows her friend’s gaze, only to realize that there are lots of piles of rock that all look too fucking similar. She purses her lips and scratches her head before resting her arms on her squared-off hips. “I think we’re lost.”

“Yeah.” With an exhaustive sigh, Jo plops down on another pile of rocks and watches as the orange sun dips behind the horizon, shadows of blue slowly crawling across the desert floor and swallowing the light.

Y/N clumsily lowers herself down next to the blonde. Her leg hurts like a bitch, and the desert sand that has wound its way into her cast itches a good deal. Her hands and arms hurt as well from clinging to her crutches all afternoon. Maybe Dean was right, and this was a bad idea, after all. Why does he always have to be fucking right about everything? How can one person be so annoying and frustrating all at once?

“Well, you finally get your wish,” Jo deadpans. “We’re gonna die together.”

“I’m sorry,” Y/N says ruefully and looks at the first stars appearing in the night sky. “Maybe the stars will guide us home.”

Jo just looks at her, unamused and unsurprised. “You’ve never been camping, have you?”

Y/N twitches her shoulders apologetically. “It was only supposed to be a three-mile moderate beginner’s trail to a beautiful vista. It’s what the guidebook said.”

Jo shakes her head and blows a raspberry, hugging her knees. “Joanna Wesson, 27, found dead near a random cluster of rocks that might have looked like a trail marker. She was best known for playing Beth Crowne on the soap opera Paradise Bay before trying to revive her career on an unsuccessful wrestling show. She is survived by her son, Sammy, and her bitter ex-husband Sam with his secretary Jessica.”

“Well, at least you get an obituary,” Y/N quips. “Mine would just read: Soap Star Found Dead Next to Unidentified Woman in National Park.”

Jo even snorts at that. “Well, I’m sure Dean would cut and edit an adorable video tribute with a bunch of B-roll about you at your funeral.”

“Yeah, maybe…” Y/N pensively licks her lips, her heart doing those painful twinges again whenever she thinks of him. “You know yet what you’re gonna do next?”

“No, I-… I think I wanna produce,” Jo announces with determination in her hazel eyes. “I don’t wanna ask permission. I’m so tired of it all. For once, I wanna boss people around and tell ‘em what to do. You know, you were right.”

Baffled, Y/N raises a brow. “About what?”

“Men,” Jo says simply and then spits with fire, “I fucking hate them all. The Crowleys and the Dicks and the Cases and the Sams and the Deans… They make the choices. They dictate the terms… I’m sick of it all. I just hate asking them for anything.”

“Dean’s not so bad,” Y/N says quietly but doesn’t look at Jo. Her heart stings for the millionth time. “I got that role for the Sondheim musical. They called this morning.”

Jo’s lips curve into a soft smile that reaches her eyes. “Congrats. I’m not surprised. You were really fucking good.”

Y/N’s heart flutters a little at the compliment. Tears begin to sting her eyes. She can’t remember the last time Jo was nice to her. “Thank you.”

“You don’t seem happy about it,” Jo notes attentively.

“No, I am,” Y/N manages to choke out, but the sniffling betrays her intentions.

“But?”

Y/N bobs her head, swallowing. “I think I’m ready to talk about it now.”

“Fucking finally,” Jo huffs and rubs her cold and goosebump-littered arms as the heat disappears, the nightly air bringing a fresh breeze.

“Dean told me he loves me,” Y/N confesses. “He’s in love with me.”

“Yeah, no shit. Kinda obvious,” Jo says without a twitch of surprise. “Don’t feel bad for not loving him back. That’s what they want… For us to feel bad about every single fucking thing.”

“That’s just it. I don’t think that’s how I feel,” Y/N replies and lets out a jittery sigh.

Jo’s head turns to her, eyeing her friend up and down. “And how do we feel about that? I can’t tell. It’s too dark to see your face.”

“I-, uh, I don’t exactly know,” Y/N says, which is partially true. She might know how she feels about the green-eyed director, but not how she feels about the situation overall.

Jo purses her lips and nods. “Alright, here’s a couple of options: happy, excited, scared, or… repulsed?”

“Well, uhm… scared,” Y/N admits slowly and gulps. “And excited… happy.”

Jo throws her arms up, shaking her head at the stars. “Jesus fuck! Then what the fuck are we doing here?! Is that why you dragged me all the way to the fucking desert? Because you’re running from your feelings?”

“Kinda. I thought the peaceful quiet and beautiful nature would bring me some much-needed clarity,” Y/N explains.

Jo lifts a brow but tries not to seem too annoyed. She’s accustomed to her friend’s theatrics, after all. “And? Did it?”

“The hike didn’t, but facing death kinda does,” Y/N jokes and begins to laugh a little, Jo soon joining her. When their laughter dies down and the desert sounds of chirping crickets and screeching eagles remain, Y/N exhales a shaky breath. “I’m in love with him, too. He makes me really fucking happy. But… I finally feel like I’m on the right track with my career. I am where I’m supposed to be, you know? I don’t wanna throw that away for a guy.”

“Who says you should?”

“I don’t know… Isn’t that how it goes? You did it,” Y/N argues.

Jo licks her lips and clicks her tongue. “Yeah, ‘cause I chose the wrong fucking guy. Sam made me give up everything I ever loved and told me what to love instead. If you pick the right guy, he won’t make you do that.”

“How do I know it’s the right guy, though?”

Jo smiles softly. “Look, I’m not Dean’s biggest fan, but he’s yours. You know that, right? He’d never hold you back. He adores the ground you walk on. Yes, he’s an asshole with so many fucking issues, and he’s goddamn annoying most of the time, but he’s always had your back, even when he pretended that he didn’t. The guy would probably sell every limb and his fucking soul to see you get everything you ever wanted, Y/N. He wouldn’t be a mistake. You know what would be a mistake? Not trying because you’re too scared of making one. Don’t be fucking stupid.”

Thoughtfully, Y/N nods in agreement and grabs her crutches, rising from her rocky seat. “I need to see him. We have to head back to the city.”

“Finally! Thank fucking God.” With a grunt, Jo jumps to her feet and helps Y/N to steady hers. “Maybe the girls made a fire bright enough, so we can find our way back.”

“Shit.”

“What? They have matches, don’t they? I’m sure these bitches can manage a simple fire, right?” Jo then notices Y/N’s hand curling around her bicep, her grip tightening. And then, Jo glances in the direction of Y/N’s eyes and sees the same damn thing. Her brown eyes widen.

“Mountain lion.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” the blonde hisses and holds on to her friend as well. Both women freeze on the spot. “What-, uh, what should we do?”

“I don’t know. Maybe we should throw a stick?”

“A stick?” Jo arches her brow. The big cat snarls and stalks a little closer, making the two women jump back. Their hearts are thumping in their throats at this point. “It’s not a fucking dog, Y/N. It won’t play fetch with you.”

“I know that. How about you come up with a better idea, then?” Y/N snaps through gritted teeth. The lion hisses again, causing the women to tremble down to their bones and hug each other tighter. “I think I should jump it.”

“Are you nuts? No!”

“Look, while it eats me, you can flee. I can’t run with my cast anyways. This is the best option,” Y/N insists, but Jo vehemently shakes her head.

“Fuck no! You’re not sacrificing yourself. We die together. You’re not leaving me behind,” Jo maintains. “I always knew my death would be your fault. Don’t ask me how, but I knew you’d get me killed somehow.”

The wild cat takes another step forward and lowers to the ground as if to get ready to jump its prey – them. But then a few tumbling rocks and breaking twigs draw its attention behind the women. Is there an even bigger cat here?

And suddenly, Meg leaps forward from above them with a loud howl and snarls at the cat, which hastily tucks its tail between its legs and flees down the hill into the dark night. Y/N and Jo expel a big breath of relief and a shaky laugh as they find Meg.

“Meg, what the fuck? Did you just scare away a mountain lion?” Y/N gapes at her friend in utter disbelief.

Meg only shrugs her shoulders. “I hate cats. What are you guys doing out here so long?”

“We got lost. Couldn’t find our way back to camp,” Y/N explains.

Meg furrows her brow and thumbs behind her. “It’s just over there. You guys have been hiking around the same hill for five hours.”

Jo shoots Y/N a small glare of annoyance and blows some loose strands of blonde hair out of her face. “Of course we did…” she mutters.

“We have to get back to LA!” Y/N declares eagerly, trying to climb the small rocky hill with her crutches, foregoing the more suitable pathway.

“Right now? It’s probably 3am when we get to Burbank. Can’t this wait till tomorrow?” Jo says as she attempts to climb after her friend.

“No! I almost died! Twice… Dean needs to know how I feel before I get bit by a rattlesnake, too,” Y/N reiterates passionately.

“It’s probably for the best,” Meg chimes in. “We kinda forgot to pack food. I was about to hunt something for us when I ran into you guys. We have tons of drugs and booze, though.”

Y/N’s knuckles thunder persistently on Dean’s door and conjure up a storm. She has jumped out of Ruby’s limo so fast, the girls are still scrambling out and flooding Dean’s front lawn one by one. They’re loud and obnoxious, but the ringing in her ears makes their chatter barely noticeable.

The lock clicks and the door opens. Dean stands in front of her with weary green eyes, heavy with sleep, tousled bed-head, and a furiously scrunched brow. He half yawns and half grumbles, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Once he feels clearer, minus the soft buzz of whiskey remnants in his bloodstream, he blinks at the young actress in front of him and then tilts his head at the circus show behind her.

God, between his punk rock daughter and this, his neighbors must really hate him.

“What are you doing here? Aren’t you guys supposed to be camping in fucking Joshua Tree?” His voice is a gravelly bark. He doesn’t mean to sound so harsh, especially when he just woke from a dream about her, but he’s not as masochistic as he used to be. He’s not a fan of torturing himself with the image of her any longer.

Y/N’s heart somersaults as soon as she sees him, even though his apprehension hurts a bit. “Look, I almost died tonight. We got lost in the desert and then a mountain lion almost fucking ate us.”

Dean licks his lips, nodding. “Yeah, I’m not fucking surprised. Told you Palm Springs is the better option. So, did anyone fucking die? What’s the head count?”

“No one died.”

“Huh. Then why the fuck are you here in the middle of the night, Y/N?” Dean bites, his brow creasing in anger. He can’t even fucking look at her for a second without his heart being on the brink of an explosion. Even saying her goddamn name hurts like needle pricks in an abused vein.

“I–” Y/N swallows thickly. Her drumming heart is stuck in her airway along with her words.

“She’s here to tell you she loves you!” Ruby hollers behind her before several girls tackle her and clasp her mouth shut.

Dean’s heart twists upon the sick joke, his frown deepening. But then he glances at Y/N and thinks he can spot the truth in her eyes. He thought that once before, though, and was terribly wrong.

Y/N gives a shrug of one shoulder with tears brimming in her eyes. A small smile forms on her lips. “What she said.”

Dean nods and drags a hand over his freckled face, feeling the tears well in his eyes, too. Fucking whiskey. Always renders him goddamn sentimental. “Look, uhm, you kinda gotta tell me this yourself. Otherwise, I won’t believe it, okay?”

Upon his request, Y/N takes a deep breath and looks him into his eyes. “I’m in fucking love with you.” As soon as the words are out, she starts crying and the tears fall down her cheeks. Meanwhile, Dean’s heart tumbles into free fall, and he’s sure not even a parachute can stop it. “I’ve never said that to anyone in my life. Is-, is it too late?”

Dean snorts and shakes his head, grinning brighter than the California sun on the longest day of the year. “Fuck no. Even if it had taken you thirty years, I still would’ve taken you back. That’s kinda how once-in-a-lifetime love works, sweetheart.”

“Okay. Sounds like a good movie,” Y/N jokes between her tears, her fingers tingling to touch him.

“Yeah, best one there is.”

His hands grab hold of her and pull her into his embrace. He claims her lips, Y/N eagerly parting her mouth as his tongue slips between. The kiss is rushed and fervent and perfectly desperate. They’re both so gone they can’t even hear the girls cheering and applauding them in the background.

“You’re gonna come inside?” Dean asks in a murmur against her lips, barely letting her breath.

“Uhm…”

“Hey, Lothario, you got space for us, too?” Cassie shouts with a wide smirk.

“Yeah, we’re fucking starving,” Ruby adds with an impatiently arched brow.

“We, uh, forgot to pack food,” Y/N explains with a chuckle.

Dean sighs and smiles knowingly. “Of course you did.” He then turns to the women waiting on his lawn. “Alright, get in. I’ll order some pizzas.”

The women then proceed to brush past the couple and filter into Dean’s house. Missouri pinches his cheeks, Ruby pats his head, Cassie fist-bumps him and sends Y/N a flirty wink, Meg tousles his hair, Charlie shrugs apologetically, and Jo offers an annoyed eye roll.

“I’m never gonna get rid of them, am I?” Dean looks down at her and tightens his jaw, even when a grin is visible.

“No, I’m afraid not. It’s like you’ve adopted twelve strays. One of which actually turned out to be your long-lost puppy. They’re gonna be here until you die and then eat your corpse,” Y/N quips.

“Funny.” Dean clicks his tongue, his dimples itching to form a grin.

“Oooo! Let’s call the guys!” he hears Ruby exclaim from inside his living room. “It’s a fucking wrap party at the boss’ house!”

“No! No party! Guys, c’mon!” Dean storms inside after them, leaving Y/N giggling on his doorstep.

“Let’s call Garth, Kevin, and Benny!” Donna suggests, ignoring his protests. It’s like they can’t fucking hear him.

“I’ll call my husband, too!” Bela adds and eagerly dials Cas’ number on his landline.

“Oh, right, Cas…” Dean mutters with an eye roll as he remembers the impromptu wedding. “No fucking Benny!”

Y/N joins his side and rubs his back in comfort as he watches his house sink into female doom. “You okay?”

The deep trenches in his brow flatten into soft valleys as his green eyes lock on her. He dips his head and pulls her to his lips, kissing her slow and reverently. “Better.” He smirks. “Just gonna have to sage the whole house tomorrow.”

That earns him a playful slap on his chest. He laughs and pulls her closer with an arm around her waist.

“Hey, uh, speaking of party…” Dean mumbles before he addresses the whole room, grabbing their attention with an authoritative clear of his throat. He’s still got it. “You guys wanna do shows in Vegas?”

“What?!”

Dean’s eyes find Y/N’s gaping face. He chuckles a little. “Yeah, uh, Bobby offered me a deal. There’s nothing in the network contract about live shows. I already went over it with Cas this afternoon. It pays well, too. You guys interested? It’s not like any of you have actual jobs lined up, right?”

Y/N closes her mouth. “I got that Sondheim musical in San Diego. It’s a workshop production, but if it goes well, it could go all the way to Broadway. I could end up in New York.”

“Good,” Dean says and smirks. “You’re fucking fired.”

“WHAT?!” Y/N’s mouth falls open again. “You said you’d never fire me!”

“Yeah, well, this is for your own good,” Dean reasons. “You think I’m gonna let you quit Sondheim for some stupid wrestling show in Vegas? You gotta be fucking nuts! This is what you fucking wanted. Don’t make me kick your stupid ass onto that stage. It’s gonna look embarrassing for you again…”

Y/N bites her lips to conceal her grin. Her eyes meet Jo’s, who mouths ‘I told you so’ at her. “Thank you,” she tells Dean and kisses his cheek. He furrows his brow at her in suspicion. “But rehearsals don’t start until June. Still gonna need a job till then.”

“Oh.” Dean’s brow shoots up in realization. “The June in nine months?”

“Yeah, the June in nine months,” Y/N confirms with a laugh.

“Whoops. Well, consider yourself rehired till June, then,” Dean relents.

“So, if I ever have to work in New York–”

“Then we’ll go to New York. Big fucking whoop-dee-doo. You know I hate LA.”

Y/N giggles, nodding. “What would you do in New York?”

“Same I do here, just on a little balcony instead of a backyard. I sit with my typewriter by a table and smoke and drink,” Dean retorts. “I’ve actually been working on a new script. I’m moving away from horror and into Western.”

“Got inspired by the motel’s wallpaper, huh?” Y/N teases. “What’s it about?”

“Father-daughter storyline. Thought I’d give that a shot…”

1990, 5 years later…

“Dean! We’re gonna be late!” Y/N reminds him and holds the blindfold in place over her eyes as he drags her somewhere by the hand. Her heels can barely keep up with his fast pace. “You know, check-in at LAX is the worst. Our flight departs in two hours. I’m nominated, Dean! I can’t reschedule! The girls are all flying in, too…”

“I know! I’m fucking hurrying, okay?” Dean assures. However, she can hear the stress and tension in his gravelly voice. He then suddenly halts and positions her into place by her shoulders before carefully taking off the blindfold. “Alright, here we are.”

Y/N blinks her eyes open and recognizes blurry shapes of purple and gold. She lifts an eyebrow as ornaments on the walls and a big stage come into view as well. “The Aztec porno theater?”

“Mayan,” Dean corrects her and wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he gets down in front of her on one knee and tries to fumble out the too-big ring box from his too-tiny suit jacket pocket. “Son of a bitch!”

“Dean, wait!” Y/N stops his endeavor with raised palms, her eyebrows meeting her hairline when she realizes what he’s about to do.

“Oh, c’mon, Y/N!” Dean frowns in frustration and rises to his feet with a huff and a shaking head. “I know you’re against marriage and the patriarchy and all that bullshit, but c’mon… We’ve been dating for five years. We have a good thing going, right?”

After spending a whole year in beautiful Las Vegas – the Paris of Nevada – the two of them moved to New York. Dean sold his house in Burbank and opted for a Brooklyn apartment instead. Claire also studied film at NYU before she graduated last Spring. But every few months, the couple finds themselves back in LA – for interviews, for business, for friends.

“Dean–”

“No! You know me. I’d make a great fucking husband. You love it when I make reporters laugh on the red carpet. I’m an awesome trophy husband, okay?”

“DEAN!”

“WHAT?!”

Why the fuck is she angry now? He should be the one that’s angry. She’s turning down the best opportunity of her life. She should consider herself lucky he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. He even had an amazing speech prepared to knock her right off her feet, but does he get to say it now? How he wanted to grow fucking old together and support each other? How he wanted to marry her all those years ago when she told him she was pregnant? Nope...

“I’m fucking pregnant!”

Dean blinks at her in confusion before his eyes begin to wander around the familiar theater. Did he take something? Drink too much? Did he actually travel through time or is this a weird fever dream on his deathbed?

“What’s it with you and this theater? And why do you always yell that?”

“Because you never listen.” Y/N giggles and bites her lower lip. “And I’ll gladly marry you if that’s what you were going for. I just figured I’d tell you before in case you wanna change your mind and bail.”

“Why the fuck would I bail?” Dean’s brows knit together, close to offense.

She shrugs and holds up her palms in surrender. “I don’t know! I didn’t want you to feel trapped.”

“Why? Isn’t it mine?”

Y/N rolls her eyes, a grin twitching on her pink lips as she slaps his arm. “Yes, of course it’s yours.”

“And you’re keeping it? You sure?” Dean throws her a quizzical look.

Her brow furrows. “Why, you aren’t?”

“No, I am!” he assures her swiftly, realizing how it sounded. “Hell yeah, I want another kid! You know I always wanted to make up for missing out on Claire so much! I finally get to change a diaper, go to the park, or the fucking zoo while my wife works… It’ll be so fun!”

Y/N tries to stifle her laugh. He seems happy, judging by the joyful glint in his green eyes. They resemble sparkling emeralds.

“But are you sure, y' know?” Dean checks with a deep look into her eyes. “I mean, I do what I can to support you and keep the thing alive in your absence, but you know you’re still gonna be benched for a couple of months, right? I’m not a fucking seahorse.”

Y/N laughs a little at that. “I know. I’m fine with sitting on the bench for a little while. I’m kinda exhausted. I did two Broadway musicals almost back to back, three off-Broadway shows, all the workshops and the rehearsals and Matinees and the dancing and the singing… Not to mention I’m nominated for a fucking Tony tonight,” she says and is close to out of breath by the time she finishes her list of accomplishments.

“Which you’re gonna win,” Dean reassures her persistently. He’s been telling her since the nominations were announced (and even before that when he first saw her in the role on the first night).

“We’ll see,” she brushes him off, although her blushed cheeks betray her words. In her heart, she hopes so as well. “Anyways, I could use the break,” she admits and takes his hands in hers, interlacing their fingers. She places a loving kiss on his lips. “Right time, right guy, right baby,” she says, smiling.

Dean squeezes her hand happily and pulls her to his lips for a searing kiss. “So, where did we land on that whole marriage thing?”

“See? You’re never listening,” she teases, laughing. “Yes, I’ll marry you. Under one condition…”

Dean smirks. “I've had the same exact thought – Vegas. It’s perfect!”

“What, no! I don’t wanna get married in filthy Vegas, you dork!” Y/N frowns playfully, shaking her head. “I wanna get married in Nebraska. I want my dad to marry us."

Dean’s brow creases. He chuckles in amusement. “What, like a shotgun wedding? Could be fun… Pastor marries pregnant daughter to older man. Is this gonna make headlines in the townie paper?”

Y/N snorts, shaking her head at him. “No, it’s a shotgun wedding. It’s very common,” she deadpans.

“I’ve never met your parents,” Dean realizes then. “Why have I never met your parents? It’s weird they never come visit you,” he ponders.

“Oh no, they do,” Y/N tells him, pursing her lips as she twirls her hair around her finger. “They’ve seen me both in Into The Woods and Gypsy.”

“Really, when?” Dean narrows his eyes at her.

“Whenever you were in LA, visiting Claire,” Y/N admits ruefully. She never told them she was dating the director, not sure if they’d approve – not that she gives a shit, but she wanted to spare herself all the sermons and the exploring of the Sunday school dating pool. Whenever they asked who owned the men’s clothes in her apartment, she lied and said she had a gay-but-in-the-closet roommate. “But you can meet them now,” she promises with a reassuring smile on her lips. Thank God she’s an excellent, Tony-nominated actress. “I’m sure they learn to love you just like I did.”

“Learn to?”

“I love you.” Y/N smiles mischievously and shuts up any further comments by kissing him.

Dean grins and relents with a blissful sigh. “I love you, too.”

THE END 🌅

Thank you all so much for reading and making me laugh with your comments and screams throughout! 🤍

Are we done with these two for good? Probably not. I've left gaps and doors open on purpose, so I'm sure they'll make an appearance again at some point in the future 😉

TAGS:

Everything Jensen: @alwaystiredandconfused @xlynnbbyx @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @blackcherrywhiskey

@deansbbyx @foxyjwls007 @ladysparkles78 @roseblue373 @zepskies

@agalliasi @yvonneeeee @hobby27 @iamsapphine @globetrotter28

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@muhahaha303 @ultimatecin73 @nancymcl @leigh70

[mermaidsirennikita]

Would you rank the IAD heroines?

I mean, I've only gotten to know four out of like... 17ish? Not sure, I know there are 2-3 novellas and like 16-17 full length books, but I believe one of those novellas is m/m (sadly it is far down the line because I reeeeeeeally wanna read it).

But thus far, I think my heroine ranking is pretty reflective of the hero rating, and how I'd rank their books. Sometimes I'll really enjoy a hero or heroine and their story is less than idea.

But anyway, on to the ladies.

Neomi Laress, ghost/phantom, Dark Needs at Night's Edge. I absolutely adore Neomi. She may be my favorite romance heroine EVER. Neomi sees a crazy virgin vampire and goes "I can break that pony in right". She does a striptease with the immortal line, "Still not stimulating enough? Maybe Conrad wants to see my panties instead?" in order to PROVE TO HERSELF THAT HE CAN SEE HER LMAO. But she's also soooo sex positive, genuinely. She loves sex, she has no shame about being a burlesque dancer in the past, she takes such joy in not only being pleased but pleasing, and she wants him to have a full life, which, for him, will include sex. So breaking him in is basically charity, except she falls in love. I also love that Neomi became a ghost, basically, because she was so fucking angry that her horrible ex killed her right when she bought her own house that she just wasn't able to leave this earth. I love her, I love her.

Mariketa the Awaited/Awakened, witch, Wicked Deeds on a Winter's Night. Another forever girl, who I love almost as much as Neomi. A woman who got a college cheerleading scholarship and then dropped out of college. Has a hot pink bedroom with pom poms. Is also a witch of immense potential power. I knew I was gone for Mariketa after it was revealed that she brought a vibrator with her to the jungle while on a mystical quest for a time travel key thing, and I'm fairly certain that's when Bowen knew he was gone for Mariketa. When that moron called her the wrong name when he came and she dramatically left him a fuck you note in the mud and ran off to make a point before he stole her away to a private island? My GIRL. I love how blithe and fun Mariketa is. I love that her husband is her "beast familiar" and her parents know this, so her parents know she gets fucked doggy style in the dirt all night at least once a month. Good for Mariketa, I love all this for her.

Emmaline Troy, vampire/valkyrie hybrid, A Hunger Like No Other. A lot of people shit on Emma because she's so timid, but I actually find her to be really fun. Understandably, she's terrified when this giant wolf man takes off with her. She grows into her boldness, her new role as the werewolf queen--she fucking kills the vampire king, for fuck's sake (who is her father!!!). And as problematic as A Hunger Like No Other was... I enjoyed the old school romance style sexual awakening of Emma. It's not what I want taught to kids lmao, but it was a good story. Also, she summons lightning when she comes hard, and I think that's fun.

Kaderin the Coldhearted, valkyrie, No Rest for the Wicked. I like Kaderin a lot, but I don't know that I looove Kaderin. So many people do, I'm sure. She's a total badass. I love that she wears vampire fangs as trophies and then falls in love with one. I relate to her fear of emotional intimacy (maybe too much). I wish she'd been like... a little more accepting of Sebastian's love, but I get that this was the plot, so on, so on. I feel like Emma's rejection of Lachlain and Mariketa's rejection of Bowen felt more... authentic, though? Because Lachlain and Bowen were literal beasts, whereas Sebastian was honestly pretty accommodating. Even if he was a vampire.