#i'd go on but i don't want to trauma dump lol

[fern-pajamabrain]

i don't even know why i still try arguing with my parents about my personal distaste for the color pink lol, one would have thought that by now they'd have understood

[crowbraincoin]

Where to make friends as an adult.

Recently I saw a devastating citation stating that most adults find it hard to make new friends as it feels like there is a lack of community and resources to do so. It takes nearly 50 hours of time together to move from mere acquaintance to casual friend. For more advanced levels of friendship, it can take more than 200 hours before you can consider someone “close”. (source)

So, though I'm not an expert by any means, I thought I'd offer some examples, ideas, and tips on finding and making friends as an adult! Check below the break :>

Ideas on where to find friends:

🆓 Local free (or cheap) events. I went to a presentation that included a free beer in the ticket cost and I had a blast! Most cities have an events calendar you can look at. Soon I'm attending a free event for the transgender community honoring those that came before us. 📖 Library programs. Most libraries that I've seen don't even require a library card, just your email or phone number to sign up for a program! Be it a presentation, class, or event, the library is the place to be!

❕Events of interest. I think about what I'm interested in and what I would like to connect with people about, and I search around to see what I can find. I use sites like Eventbrite to help me search.

💻 Online Communities. For those who can't make it out very often, consider joining online communities by searching for fandoms or topics of interest and see if there is a discord server, bluesky feed, tumblr community, or other communities on socials!

How to make friends:

Consistency. Once you find a place you enjoy going to, an organization you whose events your enjoy attending, or a series of events that takes place KEEP GOING!! Consistency is key, you have to keep interacting with folks to become friends with them.

Transparency. Just be yourself, but that doesn't mean you should be trauma dumping! Sharing personal detail allows us to feel closer to people, but make sure you're not sharing too much information! That can always come later when you're closer friends.

Confidence. You have to believe that you're someone that people want to be friends with. Don't believe it? Well ask your current friends why they are friends with you! You'll not only get a confidence boost, but also hopefully share a touching moment with your existing friends.

Follow up. If you want to be friends with someone you've met, you have to build up the nerve to further connect with them. This means sharing phone numbers or socials.

Start talking. The best way to do this is by asking questions or by giving a non-threatening compliment. Try not to make it all about you, though it is easiest to talk about the one thing we know best (ourselves) it typically won't help you make new friends! Show that you're interested in them, their thoughts and feelings on the topic of the event or a neutral topic such as musicians or food.

Questions. Ask open ended and non-invasive questions and follow through. Examples below!

Invite them out. Once you've established an acquaintance, invite them to hang out! BUT if you're the one inviting them out then you need to make sure you have some plan in mind. This could be going to a trivia night, a local event, or going to a new place together.

Further questions or topics of discussion:

I'm new to this [place or reocurring event] how long have you been coming here? Do you like it so far?

If you could be a crab or a lobster, which would you be and why? (make sure you have an answer ready!)

How long have you known about [place or event theme]? What got you interested in [place or event theme]?

(If at an event with drinks or food) I'm having trouble deciding what to choose, what should I try?

What superpower would you want and why?

What do you do for work? Do you like it? (follow by asking non-invasive questions about their job. This is easier when you have no clue what the job position actually is, lol).

Hey, I really like your style! Where did you get your outfit?/Who or what are your fashion influences?

What questions or topics of discussion do you typically go for when meeting new people?

[normalenjoyer-png]

loose part 2 to this

just going to ramble under the cut cause as much as i'd like to lore dump via comic i simply am not a comic artist loll

OKAY SO. undyne wants to ask for sans's help tearing down the core and rebuilding it (aka: sans's original plan). if it works, sans gets his eye back and the core is working again and everyone's happy. if it doesn't work, well. it's not like sans can't just destroy it again. or destroy his eye, or threaten to destroy his eye to distract undyne and then destroy the core again. wink wonk.

undyne is genuine in wanting to try and fix things. she knows aliza is probably her best bet in getting sans to help, as she's actually managed to like. form some type of relationship with sans. admittedly it's largely through papyrus who would be happy to try and convince sans as well, but they both know that actually convincing sans is highly unlikely. and they're not willing to push it due to sans' instability.

ultimately i'm gonna say i don't see any convincing actually happening. sans is far too distrustful of undyne to actually be in her space, and wouldn't just give plans to aliza to deliver cause then he wouldn't be there to destroy the core if the plan didn't work but the core was still reassembled and just used sans' eye as the power source. also i just don't trust myself to expand on horrortale canon cause i think it would get out of hand+lose what horrortale's all about lol.

however if it did work out!! i think undyne and sans' relationship would be so cool to explore. undyne would be genuine in her wanting to repair it, but she's still harsh and cruel and sans is still paranoid and aggressive. i think if they were working on it together they could probably get some semblance of a good relationship back. i think that once sans had possession of his eye again tho, he would lose a lot of that paranoia and aggression because like. his life isn't literally in undyne's hands anymore yk. he wouldn't lose it completely given past events and like literal head trauma/brain damage. i think it's largely just part of his personality now. but it would be better. undyne would be too because the relief of actually succeeding as queen and being able to feed everyone would probably make her so much more fun to be around lol.

ANYWAY IM JUST THINKIN<33

additional notes

- i think sans's eye can still see when it wants to, that's how he knew aliza was with undyne. it's dormant most of the time just because it's useless to be on all the time, but he absolutely spies on undyne. when undyne finds out he stops (cause it's pointless to spy on things when you're not a spy anymore) but undyne still deliberately gets his attention to curse him out after a bad outing or something lmaooo

- "papyrus isn't home" sans's only form of emotional regulation isn't home and if we push it further he'll probably kill me lol

[theaskscenter]

Girl why gpt posts?? I liked your raw style more.

I like edited more. The raw looks like

So I was talking to my manz (see how he earned this title after I signed a prenup, not after I got a ring? Very smart very thatbitch very demure. I don't go committing myself to anything before I see paperwork I think from reality and future instead of emotion and promises. See how I negotiated and manipulated with that prenup. Very IT girl very Smart girl I don't take chances with my life very classy) about going back to therapy because why am I always attracting criminals? And not even robbed a bank or death body count of ten we are talking dark, dark people and he shrugs about 'you are just so you' which after a lot of prodding because men can't say shit straight ever actually meant 'its because people feel like they can tell you things' which disgusted me because you're saying I come across as an emotional dumpster and apparently nope I'm just 'trustable with this kind of thing, you know?' and to the question 'why in hell are you saying it like it's a good thing' the answer - which is the main topic of this, was 'it means you're an asset'.

Womanhood is not a spectrum actually it's set on stone and that stone is this - I. Do. Nauuttt. Give. A . Fooook. For. Free. The highest form of femininity is indifference because femininity is surrender (not submission. That's masculinity. The highest form of masculinity is submission. See- wars. Legacy. Workplace politics. Reputation andManhood) and surrender is indifference. When you surrender to something you are completely impartial to it, hence indifferent. And this concept is so hard to explain because it's girls that want to be a 'bad bitch' that think this means they should just be careless because IDGAF and that's the highest form of stupidity. Indifference as in 'I am separate from the outcome and impartial to the process, but committed to my goal / outcome. It's indifference to the process but commitment to the outcome.

When I was young in high school there was literally no form of power to leverage because there are such limited forms of power in the world and I was getting bullied 24/7 because there isn nothing for me to leverage to buy consideration. And because of this everyne and their dog including teaches used me as a traum dumpster because what am I going to do? Blackmail them? Which thank God I am me and me is incredibky smart because me turned that into power. How? By being selective about who gets free journal privileges wth me. Say, in the dorm if some girl sat on my bed and tried to trauma dump but did not earn the right to yet id just echo a HM and doe verything but listen. Its like -mhm- while I fold my clothes and midway go- hey are you sitting on my blouse? No? Uh where is it? so they know I wasn't listening. Which would, I found, lead them to want to make me listen (Because one week ago I was why am I not rn?) and they'd go are you even listening and id be like yeah you were talking about your mom or something? (steal a look force a smile) if you're not sitting on my blouse where is it? -and then go back to my whatever without trying to reestablish connection (ps, blouse doesn't exist lol) and then that would be them freaking out ebcaus ethe power has been flipped which led to the Ugh youre not even that important to which id be like yeah you told the that three sundays ago I still remember. have you seen my hairpin? AND when people earned the right to trauma dump, I learned theyre just looking for indifference. They just want to be heard. SO exmaple a guy would ask if they can sit by my table on lunch and Id just shrug i dont own the tables? You can sit on the table itself if you want to how does this concern me? And then hed sit and id look at him once every ten minutes as he attempted trauma dumping and i'd play the same game like - him: Trauma dumping. Me, mid sentence: Do you have this textbook? I need to buy one but its hard being broke. Him: No but I'll buy you one. Me; smiles. When? HIm: After school? Me: Okay see you here then. 5p.m? I'll get a permission slip. Leaves the table. WHen evening came and we did in fact go buy the texbook, then, and ONLY then, would i actually listen. After check out- Maybe your mom wouldn't be so shitty if you weren't so shitty? Just do what she wants she'll give you your freedom. She just wants submission. Humor her. waits for him to hold the door oprn so he can drive us back to campus. To which you would think -MOther isn't that the exact opposite of being indifferent? Well yes- but if I agreed it'd be obvious I'm kissing ass. PIcking both his side (you're not wromg) and her side (neither is she. You can both win) to say I was listening you just hadn't earend the right to be yapping family busines at me when im eating the lunch youre paying for. People are so easy to train if you have the patience for it.

Sp my indigference is an asset because it's earned. No I do not care to listen to you babbling about your cocaine trade thats ruining south America unless I'm getting something out of it. When you're in the same space as people they assume you're on the same level unless its obviou you're not (eg, scholarship kid that is known to be scholarship kid) and they have to find a way to establish hierarchy, and then attention becomes te modal of it. Are you someone that gives your tuime easily? Are you someone that takes sides? Can you be trusted? And think of it this way- do YOU trust things yiu get for free? If I gave you a BIrkin for free, would YOU trust it? Obviously no, you'd be suspicious. SO if I'm at an event and someone's underloved dad that has had to buy all his intimacy because he would ratheer die than develop emotional intelligence decides to strut-waddle over talk about his illegal streams of income I make the most mechanical obvious I'm not interested in hearing this face and reaction and at some point drop the - wait did't you recently aquire this one firm? That was something, how did you get them to sell? Are you publicly listed yet? How does one get on the investors list when it's still private? Yeah I know it's not easy thats why Im asking the CEO not google? and when I get an answer its- you know its not my place or my trade but if I were to take a route for it i'd avoid the one you're taking and take this on here- it makes more sense. I'm no lawyer obviously but think of it this way- I will ONLY lsiten when there's a reason for me to.

SO how is this an asset? It means I easily make it to the advisors table. Every. Single. Time. Some boy that used to bully me first year of high school offered me Board Of Directors position in a firm I'm not even in because he can tell me he killed his mom and I'll say okay. Anyway -. And he will be secure in the secrecy I'l keep because I do have something to lose - whatever he used to bargain his way into having me as his journal. And not only will I not judge I'll also not offer advice or praise him for it. None of my busines, you know. Moving on. I need you to understand outside JK Rowling and Taylor Swift and people that become billionaires through intellectual Property ? talent there isnt a SINGLE ethical billionaire on the face of the planet earth. If you want to dine with the fortune 500 you need to look at actual human abuse and say huh. Anyway- and the big money you want so bad is held by people that feel repressed inside their own bodies because theu are human beings so social creatures that need companionship and connection which comes from sharing but they can't do that because its always smeone trying to 'hypergamy' their way into their pockets an dif you make yourself a safe space they will end whole races of people for you. I said tehres a KKK level white supremacist dude that would break up with his Gigi Hadid of a wife if I didn't like her and everyone (literally only two people lol) were womdering how that hapened and the thing is I'm a safe space on the condition I am also safw within this space. I will listen to you rant about how your Aderall drug business is stressing you while eating ice cream on your balcony and just- wow thats something. WHat did you do after that? - and then after yourcrime confessions I'll groan about my aviation exams like what was I thinking.

I will make you feel normal. I will offer you humanity. Normalcy. Stability. No judgement- without OFFERING MYSELF. This right here this is the catch. If you piss me off I'll cut you off. If I feel disrespected ONCE I'll walk out, and I'll hold nothing over your head. Even if we break up, your secrets are safe with me. Thats it that's the catch point. In this relationship, one of us needs the other. DO the math.

I'll be honest I don't really care much about grammar this is actually for y'all. And it's not GPT its copilot

[sunkissedliterarylightofchrist]

how so this is kinda dumb and embarassing which is why I'm on anon even tho you're really sweet and nice but there's this one blog I adore and the person who runs it is AWESOME but I'm sooooo nervous about trying to become friends with them😭 I was just wondering if you had any advice and if not you can delete this sorry

Heyyyy no sweat! I totally get this, ngl, I had the same thing. Idk what exactly your situation or relationship with them is right now, but I'll tell you what mine was.

There was this blog I stumbled across which was SO COOL and she was clearly utterly intelligent and loved Jesus and just overall amazing and seemed a lot similar to myself. So I just started spamming her asks and was delighted with her answers. Then I DM'd her about how one of her answers where she used a personal life example was similar to mine, and she asked me to elaborate, and we went back and forth a tad about shared experiences.

Then I continued to just- spam her notifs and go back and forth in her asks a lot lol. Not as like a cry of attention, because I really and truly did admire her and agreed (and still do) with like 95% of the things she says (and to this day once in a while I'll go ? over her proccess of arriving at her conclusions, but I almost always agree with her conclusions, because they are *biblical* and follow literary analysis incredibly well, and etc etc etc [you can tell I really like my friend lol]), and I wanted to interact with her more, but if that was a byproduct I wasn't going to say no.

Then one day my other friend dared me to tag her in a post and straight-up ask her to follow me. Which. Took a lot of guts bc at that point SHE WAS STILL INTIMIDATING TO ME but it worked then bam we were mutuals and life was beautiful. Don't know how I pulled that off lol.

Then fast forward to me just continuing to be myself and talking into her ask box and comments a lot, accidentally tricking her to like me (seriously I have NO idea how or why she likes me sometimes ack), and maybe trauma dumping asking for help and advice for things we've both struggled with a time or two, and her introducing me to seemingly almost every piece of media she likes ever and me falling in love with it all, and now she says I'm her online best and closest friend. And yeah, same for me. <3 Love you my best friend.

She's only slightly intimidating to me now, that that's when I'm going through my own issues lol, its not on her, just my brain being dumb. (oh yeah big thing with this is to not trust your feelings about someone being intimidating- just go for it! Scary but people are a lot more open to friendship than you think) I lovingly annoy her alllll the time now and she seems to appreciate it, so! There's that! Yay! Greatest platonic love story of all time or whatever.

I don't know if basically annoying them into liking you would work, but it worked for me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Try over and over and over again to establish connection and invest in them personally and really and truly do get across that you love and care for them is what I'd say.

And actually the biggest thing I've found about people that may be intimidating is that they just have a different way of communicating than I do. I'm naturally inclined to reach out a bunch, and bring up things with others first, and connect over people who share my strong opinions, and I do get a bit gushy about what I like about people and telling them about it, and such, but that's not everyone! And the fact that you might be the one DMing first, or bringing up different topics first, or asking for advice or just to casually chat first, or anything first, doesn't automatically mean they don't like you! Could just not be their preference. There's a difference between someone just not thinking to reach out first and actively ignoring or not caring for you. Or with like, I don't know, compliments. Not everyone lives and breathes those. But maybe with the person you're thinking of, they're not common but very much deserved and just as loving, but more 'rare'.

I hope this helped in some way!

[dragon-cookies]

Episode 7, here goes nothing

You are literally too perfect for this show sir

Why does Alastor have more screentime in Charlie's room than her literal girlfriend

WHY DO THEY LITERALLY SHARE A BED BEFORE WE SEE CHARLIE AND VAGGIE DO

He's so fucking happy listening to her trauma dump I hate him /pos

Oh yeah the whole "angels can be killed" was a plot point wasn't it lol

Damn Charlie why so bitter about Vaggie being an angel. Like I understand being upset she kept such a big secret from you but it's not like she didn't have her reasons? Vaggie probably just figured it'd be safest to pretend to be a demon since she couldn't return to Heaven

"Come now Alastor she's much too young for you" S T O P

OH SHIT actual verbal confirmation Alastor's ace?? I was NOT expecting that

Cannibal Town is lovely design-wise but the characters dressed in red on a background is getting hard to look at

Rosie's design is pretty nice too, her design isn't too overly complicated

Carmilla: *makes it clear she doesn't want to help Vaggie fight angels* Also Carmilla: *immediately starts teaching Vaggie how to fight angels* Make it make sense ma'am

"It's not like you've ever failed to inspire before" Al I don't think Charlie's managed to inspire anyone once but okay

Susan.

I also just realized, wouldn't you think Vaggie would know something about how to kill an angel since she is one? Or at the very least know their weak points?

Oh okay so Vaggie didn't even know she herself could be harmed, fair enough I suppose

Wait so the angels' main weakness is their own weapons? And no one has figured this out until just now???

Carmilla's design looks way better with her hair down imo

It is honestly a crime Vaggie has such little screentime as she does, because the more I see of her the more I like her. It's also so frustrating Charlie basically just cut her off the second she found out she was an angel when her whole goal is redeeming people?? Charlie why are you fine with every other character calling you a bitch and Alastor literally owning peoples' souls but completely shun your own girlfriend because she (understandably imo) kept a secret from you??

And even after Charlie shunned her Vaggie is STILL 100% dedicated to supporting her cause and is willing to fight to keep her safe. Vaggie you deserve so much better

Aw Al giving Charlie his mic is sweet, what can I say. Characters trusting another character with a prized possession of theirs gets me

Hmmmm Al and Rosie's duet sounds a little sus. Sounds like Al wants to shape Charlie into something specific. Maybe in order to take over Hell or something??

Charlie why you making that face about your girlfriend's wings, what are you thinking about

Also really kinda wish these two actually sat down and had a talk together, but we already know this show has zero down time, so onto the finale I guess. So, so much of this show's pacing could be fixed if these characters just sat down and talked to each other. Charlie specifically should be spending more time with all the characters she claims to care about, but I'd be willing to bet money she's not Viv's favorite character lmao

I feel like this show was really scared it wasn't going to get another season, so they just crammed as much stuff as they could into 8 episodes. Which, now that it's been renewed for another season, what exactly are they planning on doing going forward? Ease up on the lightning-fast pacing or just keep the same momentum? If it gets more than two seasons I honestly have no clue what they're going to do story-wise because pretty much everything is being wrapped up neatly. Ah well, I guess time can only tell

[fictoweirdoesten]

RIGHT AT TWELVE A.M. THIS MF TEXTS ME ABOUT MY BIRTHDAH I'M GONNA CRY RYYH

WHY DID HE EAAAAT?! MY BABY KNOWS HOW TO SING OH MY GODDDD IT'S GIVING GERARD WAY KINDA WHEN HE SUNG THAT "yooOoou" PART????

I know this sounds sad and trauma dumping so, warning:

but when video games acknowledge your birthday it genuinely makes me feel better about always having no friends when this day comes every year :) It helps me not fall into total despair and risk doing stupid impulsive stuff. I know some people find it lame or don't get it and that's fine, I understand, but I hope this tradition in gaming never dies, and I hope more video games start doing this as well.

It made me so happy hearing Caleb wish me a Happy Birthday and tell me how he'll never leave me. Even the other boys made me happy and super giddy with their wishes and I'm not even close to delulu with them as I am with Caleb. I used to go on Tomodachi Life and ACNH but now Love and Deepspace is enough to fill that void every year ♡.

Infold has done some crappy stuff, ik, but I want to at least thank them for providing us with such amazing comfort characters. Caleb is my everything and I hope they improve and keep giving us more amazing content of him and the boys for at least....20 more years....50? Okay maybe 10. I wanna live for at least 10 more years with him.

It's just nice to feel loved, yknow? And it encourages me to keep going, at least for him, even if he isn't real...

...I mean, I'd hate to miss next year's happy birthday song from Caleb, so...

I can't wait to use the AR snapshot later today when I get my cake and have Caleb pose next to it as if he's actually there with me. Lol, ig this would be the first friend I've had come to celebrate my birthday huh? I hope he likes Strawberry Shortcake xp /j

Also, apparently no one's uploaded the song of the little carousel he gives you (unless I'm blind and someone has)??? So I uploaded it on YouTube myself:

My new ringtone fr 🖤

[grief-worn]

munday: getting to know you ! ! !

Respond to the following prompts out of character, then tag others you'd like to get to know a little bit better!

ROLEPLAYER NAME: addi, or sometimes i go by glacier.

ROLEPLAYER PRONOUNS: they/them.

MUSE NAME: on this blog; shadowheart.

PREFERRED COMMUNICATION: gay hand-holding and parallel play. alternatively; here on tumblr (asks/dms/etc) or on discord if we're friends/good mutuals!

EXPERIENCE: i think my very first roleplay was on gmail chat, pfft. but i also did stuff on deviantart, IRC chatrooms, forums, skype/discord, and this one roleplay site i will not name because it's genuinely awful. (no it's not f-list). i have pretty limited experience writing on tumblr. just recently got back into it here after having a kinda meh experience in the resident evil fandom.

PREFERRED ROLEPLAY TYPE: not sure if this means like ... 3rd person? or like ... paragraph length? or what, but i'm open to pretty much anything! i'm super open-minded. i don't even dislike the infamous 1st person writing style, as someone who hungrily consumes reader insert fanfics.

PET PEEVES AND DEAL-BREAKERS: kind of a hard one to answer, but here's what i can think of off the top of my head:

guilt by association: dealt with a bit of this in another fandom. just because i'm writing with someone doesn't mean i'm aware of their issues. curate who you follow and what you see on your dash for sure, i will always understand quietly blocking to maintain your own peace, but i've gotten mixed up in some weird stuff just because i ended up writing with the wrong person.

heavy formatting: this isn't like, that big of a deal-breaker, i just specifically have poor eyesight and difficulty reading/processing words if there's a bunch of different fonts, and font sizes, and colors, and whatnot. definitely might be something i ask people to tone down, but it doesn't really make me mad haha.

soft blocking instead of hard blocking: i'm pretty stupid. please make it obvious if you don't wanna interact anymore! otherwise i won't realize and i'll probably accidentally make it worse orz.

vagueposting/sub-tweeting: that stuff is kinda mean and weird. i don't like seeing it!

PLOTS OR MEMES: either one is awesome, but they both definitely have their contextual uses! sometimes a bit of talking beforehand is nice, sometimes i like just winging it. they're both fun!!

LONG REPLIES OR SHORT REPLIES: again, they're both fun. long replies are sort of harder to get to since they take so long to write but sometimes that's exactly what i want; to get lost in a reply for like 2 hours straight. not sure if i have a preference, it's just that short replies are faster and therefore fit better into my daily schedule, but that doesn't mean i don't love dumping my text walls <3

BEST TIME TO WRITE: unfortunately i've found that writing at 4am when everyone is asleep is a WONDERFUL time for my creativity hehe. i wish i could write as good in the daylight hours lol !!!

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE: yes and no. personality wise; not really. we're both kind of goofy deep, deep down. and i project a lot of myself onto her, but i think that's just because her story and trauma resonate with me very strongly! i try not to like, overwrite her character and inject too much of my own stuff. i honestly just have the biggest, fattest crush on her and i need more of her in whatever way i possibly can have. i guess we both love animals. but i'd never have such ugly bangs. ew, shadowheart.

tagged by: @astralrogue (thank you very much!)

tagging: whoever wants to do this :3 it's sharing a lot of ooc info so i don't wanna pressure peeps!!!

[starstruck-sillies]

We are endo neutral i guess? We definitely feel unaligned and like it's not up to anyone but like medical professionals to figure out what's actually what? I know a few of us in our system think endos are Systems who forgot their trauma so they think they don't have trauma but that may be a wild take lol

Either way most anti endos are super mean and rude, like they'll tell people to off themselves or be like oh this system is probably not a real system because of this this and this, honestly it may be another wild take but it gives transmed and that really makes us uncomfortable, obviously its not the same thing at all, being a system is a very medical thing but it does bring back some horrible memories regardless /nbh (everyone here that we've seen is pretty chill lol)

Anyways just dumping our thoughts here because we feel like we can't share anywhere else, hope you're having a lovely day or night <3

There definitely are some very awful anti endos out there. Anyone who sends someone death threats or anything like that is horrible.

Personally within the anti endo spaces we're in, we rarely ever see that kind of thing. Maybe a matter of perspective? But I don't think it's most antis, just a particularly cruel few. And besides, I see just as much of that from pro endos as I do with anti endos. Hell, just this week I saw someone posting that they hope all antis that don't change their views die.

The entire transmed thing is, augh. Where do I even start. This has been talked to death ten times over, and I doubt it will ever stop. The main thing we have to say is; just because a certain line of logic doesn't work for one thing, doesn't mean it will never work for anything else. Like you said, systemhood is a very medical thing. (Note: When I say systemhood, I am specifically referring to CDDs/sysplexes, not other forms of plurality like polymindence)

I would make a longer, more indepth thing about it, but I feel like with how out of energy I am I'd just make us look like jackasses. (Having to hold myself back like this sucks, I wanna go apeshit. Ugh.)

I wanna just say that yes, I absolutely understand that a lot of anti endos suck. Believe me, I know. I just also wanna bring attention to pro endos being shitty too, and specifically why pro endo spaces make us uncomfortable, since there's so much talk about us and our spaces, I want to kinda even things out and share my own input on the matter.

-Toby

[bluebellhairpin]

Hi Nemo! If you're willing, can you tell me about your selfship with Arthur? 👉👈 My husband IRL has played RDR and RDR2, but I feel like I still know next to nothing about him/his world, and I want to know how you fit into it! It's evident that he makes you happy, and I'd love to talk to you more about him, I just don't know where to start!

Love you, hope you're having a good day 🩶

"It's evident that he makes you happy" OMG YOU NOTICED 🥺🥺🥺

Anyway, oc/selfship lore dump below bc I could bet money that this is gonna get long lol

So like all my selfships, I like to throw together a little self insert oc to match - makes things more immersive imo.

This one is only known as Red. She's quiet and keeps to herself a lot. She doesn't partake in a lot of gang activities as far as the outlaw side of things go.

Like's to keep herself as honest as possible. She does learn to hunt after a while, and that helps her bring in money bc she sells most of what she kills. She attempted to learn pickpocketing off Mary-beth, but she "has too honest of a heart to fool anyone, they'd see (her) coming a mile away". So she sticks to keeping clean and straight as far as crimes go. She could turn to bounty hunting, but again - she doesn't really enjoy the risk of killing her bounty if things turned bad, so she avoids that too.

She also had a buckskin stallion called Leroy who is her little baby boy who can do no wrong, and who she pampers SO BAD. He's actually quite cuddly, and very protective of her.

If Red was a character in-game, she'd probably join the gang's girls in venturing into Valentine during 'Polite Society, Valentine Style'. Actually I can imagine her being someone who latches on as someone who joins in on missions rather than having any specific to her like other characters. She definitely plays a role as one of the main cast in the epilogue with John - if she had a solo mission with the player it'd probably be during that time.

Her relationship with Arthur though, following in-game canon, is so tricky. Like Arthur has. Trauma. Both his past canon relationships left him a bit messed up. Eliza died, and Mary left him - and and like it's messed with his self esteem so bad lol. So I can see both him and Red skirting around 'will they wont they' for a very long time - maybe even only deciding to comfort it at the very end of the game when Arthur's trying to 'fix' everything while he's still alive. Like there's a definite fondness, maybe even favoritism, between the two and it would definitely show though when they interacted. A lot of untapped potential - painfully so - if they weren't both so emotionally constipated.

Honestly the best part of the canon-esque storyline is post game. (AND IS ALSO WHY I THINK THIS HAS SEVERLY UNTAPPED PLOY SHIP POTENTIAL!!!) Her and Charles Smith wander off to Canada and use their mutual fondness of Arthur as a gateway to a really good relationship. They settle down on some land, get married, and start a family. They're each other's 'no one else understands what I've been though or how I feel except you' person. They both lost Arthur, and he does kind of haunt them - they name their first child, a daughter, Morgan, for him. (I think the relationship progress with Charles lies a lot with how straightforward I see him coming across as - in my head he doesn't hide how he feels so much, and by then Red has a lot of regret about not acting soon enough with Arthur, so she's a lot more willing to act by that point too.)

AND FIREND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON MY MORDEN AU THOUGHTS. They're a lot less sad, BUT GOOD GRIEF. SO MUCH MORE HORNY.

[leosabi]

for the f/o ask game: 🌼🪻 🍀 :]

—gelatinous-globster

lmfao i'm so late to answer these (T_T) thank you for sending an ask though!!! @gelatinous-globster

🌼Is there an official confession scene between the two of them?

yes! the only posted version i have of it is very old and no longer totally accurate, but it's here if you want to read something written by a leo who was still a teenager ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i think it's cringe but that's also just because i'm looking at my past self when i look at it. that's my current active ao3 account as well btw, i have some other leosabi oneshots up but lately i've been writing sonic stuff. also proud of the clone wars/bad batch stuff that's on there

for a summary, it takes place directly after aunt cass goes out. my self insert is out biking during the events of the episode and is knocked off his bike by a stray buddy guard. he breaks his arm. in swoops superhero wasabi--and this is when i find out, for the first time, about his secret identity. after getting my arm set i make a joke like "i could just kiss you right now" wrt him saving me and bringing me to the hospital. wasabi brushes it off as meds and tiredness and whatever.

next morning, i try to apologize for the joke, saying that it's weird and i should not have said it

and wasabi blurts out that he doesn't think it would be weird. if we kissed.

:)

🍀 Do You have any other scenes in mind? Angsty, Tender, Funny, Etc.

i have a lot of angst i've written that'll never be posted, because it's about personal trauma stuff lol. i think some of it i'd like to share and i'm just nervous about peoples' reactions. a lot of it is really vague and i don't mind people knowing i just don't want them to view me differently or be awkward when discussing the written work, y'know? but yeah. a lot of trauma angst

i have a fic i'm working on--perpetually, apparently, because i've had this in mind for YEARS--about momakase kidnapping my self insert a la fan friction

i also have an idea for a whole fan season of bh6 involving a villain inspired by hatsune miku, and my self insert would be there because i honestly can't imagine writing bh6 fic that i'm not in. it all just feels so real to me (^_^;;) but yeah that's another idea i've had for years and the main thing stopping me is that i never wrote a full fic about what leosabi is doing during bh6 season 2. but honestly i should just go for it

i would also love to write more hurt/comfort where wasabi is the hurt one and i'm the one comforting him. ocd, injuries from being a superhero, maybe even grief over tadashi. i feel like i really haven't explored that stuff as much as i want to other than in lengthy discord conversations from a few years back.

🪻Wild Card!!! Info dump about anything!!

i can't see this emoji on desktop, i have no idea what that is lmfao

ANYWAY i don't bring this up enough, but my self insert is a livestreamer. not like, the top guy on twitch or anything, but he is a livestreamer with a following large enough to pay half the bills and has friends from around the world he plays games with.

when i first conceptualized this they were a team of overwatch players, but i'm still so mad about overwatch 2 that now we play fortnite or mario kart or cozy games or something idk

wasabi very much avoids being in my streams, especially showing his face, because he's worried about his identity getting leaked. but sometimes you'll hear his voice off camera and the chat will go wild about "lemursabi"

this, however, results in a huge risk whenever i'm seen with wasabi in his superhero armor in public. the wrong person snaps a picture and i get identified as this particular streamer and then people try and doxx me to find out who chop chop is :p i have fic ideas for that, too, but it seems like...A Lot. i do love the ideas of tabloids being in love with us tho. obviously since it's tabloids we're talking about, it's, like, derogatory, but it's probably really funny to read things and point out everything they got blatantly wrong about you

[bthump]

I wanted to ask what you mean by this? "It takes some liberties with filler, and makes a few subtle changes with big fallout in terms of Guts leaving the Hawks imo (ie removing the inherent criticism and portraying it as necessary, which changes the central theme of the story lol)" What do you mean the 97 anime removes inherent criticism for Guts leaving the hawks and portrays it as necessary? I don't get what you're saying at all so I'd appreciate an explanation.

lol sorry, I breezed right over that because I've talked about it before and I have a tendency to forget that no one's read everything I've ever posted.

So basically

a) Guts leaving the Hawks was a Bad Decision in the manga. If you don't agree then this requires an essay behind it, so voila, here's that essay.

b) The anime portrayed it as a Good Decision for Guts, something he needed to do in pursuit of a noble, worthwhile goal.

The anime does this by changing a few key moments. One obvious one I always cite is the scene at Godo's, when Guts does his waterfall log exercise. In the manga this scene occurs in flashback after Wyald knocks him unconscious. Erika tells Guts he's going to die if he continues on the path he's going, and asks why tf he's doing this to himself. Guts basically says he has to get strong enough to defeat Zodd. End scene.

This contextualizes Guts' dream of sword swinging as an irrational need to defeat the guy who beat him. His goal is to fight Zodd again and win. Symbolically, due to the similar imagery they have in Guts' various nightmares and the essential themes of the story, Guts is driven to self-destructively fight monsters because of his csa trauma.

The anime, conversely, turns this moment into the first part of a training montage, dumps the conversation about fighting Zodd, and ends with Guts successfully slicing logs in half, signifying that he's now Strong Enough. It flattens all the nuance and implicit criticism of Guts out and turns it into a typical inspirational shounen moment.

There's also the Guts/Casca sex scene changing from two traumatized and miserable people hooking up ("licking wounds") into a much more cliched and straightforward romantic moment (using Guts' theme as a music cue, cutting out the choking and rape flashbacks and denial ("Don't think about those things right now,") swapping "I don't know if you'll get in the way of what I want to do or the opposite, but I wanna have you a hundred, no a thousand times" with "I don't know what the future will bring, all I know is I want to keep holding you," etc). All this adds up to Guts wanting to leave again with Casca being framed as the happily ever after that got foiled by the Eclipse, rather than part of the bad decision pile up that caused the Eclipse.

Cutting out the night after Guts leaves is another big one, removing Guts reflecting on whether he's making the right decision or whether he's throwing away a home and family based on a meaningless ideal that he can't even fulfill because it's a contradiction ("In the first place I got this idea in my head from hearing Griffith's words. If I hadn't... so can I say I've set out by my own will?") Spoiler alert, it's the second one. This theme is reinforced during the Lost Children Arc, so while it's not the anime's fault it cuts off abruptly, losing most of the Black Swordsman stuff also doesn't help.

The loss of the Wyald sequence in general cuts out so much implicative Guts character stuff - the irrationally driven to fight monsters due to trauma thing I mentioned earlier, but also Casca crying about it indicating that she would not be supportive of his goal if they did go off together, the self-destructiveness of Guts' monster hunting, and the parallels between Guts and Wyald (ie the other Hawks wondering if Guts is human, Wyald's forces being called the Black Dogs).

Even little tiny things like Guts telling Casca to stay back in the torture chamber, phrased as though he wants to spare her the sight of Griffith, rather than like he's irrationally guarding Griffith from anyone's approach, as is the manga vibe:

I don't think these changes are exactly intentional. I think they're mainly for pacing/content reasons - Guts stay at Godo's needed to be fleshed out because now it's half an episode, Guts' rape trauma is cut out so the Guts/Casca scene becomes less complicated, Skull Knight got cut so no long dark night of regretful contemplation, the Wyald sequence is a nightmare of pacing that had to be cut lol, etc. But they all add up to a Guts who is less flawed, less driven by trauma, and more driven by a noble, shounen-esque goal to be the best. It simplifies the story a lot imo, and downplays a lot of what makes Guts' narrative interesting to me.

Thanks for asking, hope that makes sense!

[sanityshorror]

Hii, how would you describe Cian's personality? (Since you dropped him he's been my favourite along with Kelly)

Also how would you say is his relationship with Devlin, do they live together, (or does the whole hellcrew live together in one big house?), who takes more care of the other?

And, one last question I've had for like a week already, if Cian had the chance to, would he have more kids?

Oooo yay long Cian ask and so much lore to dump!!! I'll put this below an undercut for the sake of everyone's dash lol. I'm gonna ask you to resend the other question beyond personality in other asks, as though no fault of your own, just his mere 101 personality turned into an essay xD if you don't want to send them again though/forget to, I'll answer them in separate posts lol.

If I were to summarize Cian’s personality in one word: obsessive.

Elaboration below cut:

Cian is Killian's son, and very much like Killian in many ways despite the fact he didn't meet Killian for the first time until he was 13 and Killian was 26. He had ran away from Ireland shortly after turning 13, to America, to go find Killian. He's been obsessed with Killian and the idea of having a close relationship with Killian all his life, he has formed the delusion that if Killian had raised him since day once, that his life would have been wonderful and Killian would have protected him from the trauma he experienced despite Killian being hardly 13 at the time of Cian's birth.

Which brings me to the one word I would use to summarize his personality: obsessive. Cian either does not give a singular shit or he is hyper obsessive with absolutely no in-between. Due to having BPD and NPD, this is only intensified tenfold. Additionally, his personality disorders play a huge role in what causes him to obsessive over that aren't possible, that are unrealistic, etc.

One of his biggest obsessions is Killian…and that's an entire can of worms on its own so I'm going to (for my own sanity's [badumpTST] sake, not get into that here).

I'm going to need to get into his personality disorders and the way they effect his personality given…well, personality disorders affect nearly every damn second of your life when you have one. They shape your personality, they aren't called personality disorders for no reason. [Source: my own lived experience with cluster b personality disorders though I'd rather not disclose anything about my own beyond that; +extensive research and one and one talks with those with these disorders. Do not demonize cluster b, you are not welcome here if you do.]

Cian's NPD tends to present covertly, at least outwardly. He hates himself, but still feels entitled to everyone's love and worship. Of course, rationally, that's very unrealistic and unattainable. He finds himself hideous, but still thinks of very, very, very few are more attractive than he is. He feels pathetic but also feels like everyone is weak compared to him. “You wouldn't last a minute in my shoes,” is a phrase he likes to use.

His BPD is heavily intertwined with how clingy Cian can be. Of course, he has massive trust issues. He's terrified of being abandoned. Devlin, his life partner, is very much his Ultimate Favorite Person™ and he tends to start panicking if Devlin so much as lets go of his hand. That's a very rare occasion though, and if he isn't with Devlin, he's either following around Killian like a lost puppy and/or pestering Julius to give attention.

Killian will light heartedly mock Cian for it but with no real bite behind it. Julius tends to (shockingly) take the ‘babying’ route with Cian. This is mainly due to them both being the first other person they met who have BPD and NPD. Julius and Cian have always held a very close friendship, even though Julius will not refuse to acknowledge the friendship. Neither will Cian, he only would if Julius did first, as to not come off weak. Cian tends to mimic Julius, which certainly has brought out many of the ASPD traits Cian has though unlike Julius, falls short of the full diagnosis.

Devlin loves how attached and obsessive Cian is though, and he's very much equally attached and obsessive. It’s not uncommon to find both of the couples together.

Cian has a lot of trauma and Issues™ but he absolutely refuses to tell anyone, and has taken to just bottling everything up. He will deny it even when it's brought up to him directly.

Additionally, he has PPD (paranoid personality disorder) and OCPD (obsessive compulsive personality disorder). He's an introvert and though he seems extremely domineering and controlling, he's not – at least not in his “hierarchy” – being the Hellcrew – as Cian is very much prone to hierarchical thinking, as is common among those with NPD.

If you want to know more about Cian or want me to further elaborate on any of this, please send me an ask!! Or many!! I love to talk about Cian!

**Disclaimer on Cian and Devlin's relationship: they did not meet until they were adults, when Dev was 20, and it was completely on their own WITHOUT Julius or Killian's influence. Julius and Devlin are like twins and see themselves that way. Cian and Devlin's relationship is not even close to “step bros in love,” it was much more of a huge “THE FUCK?!” when they finally found out everything, as Cian was unaware Julius was even related Dev, and Dev was unaware Julius was “alive” until a good four years of being with Cian. It's much more of (to the tune of Thunder rolls) an “AND THE CYCLE ROLLS…. THE CYCLE ROLLS!!” situation lol. If you aren't able to manage to comprehend that two adults who met as adults on their own aren't “step bros” in any manner…idk what to tell you lol

Devlin © @scarfaxia

[galaxythreads]

Hello! I’ve liked your fics for a long time, and was wondering if you would write something with fem- presenting Loki? There are some gender-fluid Loki fics on ao3, but I Need More To Live. I would write one, but I wouldn’t ever finish it.

I really want Loki to join the avengers in 2012 so that the other stuff doesn’t happen. sometimes I want Loki and Natasha to make fun of the rest of the avengers.

Idk I just really like the idea that Loki and Natasha would be friends. Or Loki and Wanda. (Except for all of the aforementioned characters got done so dirty by MCU. Isn’t that like a trope? Kill off the girl so the guy has a motivation to defeat the bad guy? Like from Green Lantern or something?

And Loki and Wanda got rewritten.). Whatever. I’m PERFECTLY OKAY! *eye twitches*

That kind of turned into a rant. Sorry.

Here are more of my headcanons, because I’d rather dm someone on tumblr instead of actually making a post on my blog. I’m weird.

-Loki was friends with Tchaikovsky and Mozart and Shakespeare. Maybe even Paganini, or like Ada Lovelace. Or Albert Einstein. Basically a lot of historical figures and also musicians from the 1980s.

-Loki is an honorary gay, because he’s an alien and aliens don’t have human concepts of gender and sexuality. But also you saw that 🏳️‍🌈hand flip🏳️‍🌈 he did in the 1602 episode. I mean, he was just being so gay in that 1602 episode. It was beautiful.

-Loki is a sad little boi. 🥺🥺

-Loki is a good little boi who got did dirty by MCU and Odin. (🥺🥺)

-Loki isn’t always a boy.🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️(unfortunately no gender-fluid flag emojis so 💕🤍💜🖤💙)

-Loki knows all the languages.

-Loki would watch anime and Kdramas if HE WASN’T DEAD.

-Loki is a theater kid.

-Loki is cat

-Loki knows how to play ALL the instruments. He likes cello the best though. Also he has perfect pitch.

-Loki needs therapy. Like two blue whales worth of therapy.

-If Tony and Loki ever had a long conversation, they would figure out how to solve world hunger and climate change and overpopulation AND THEIR MOTHERS. (It doesn’t make sense but just roll with it)

-Loki is a Major Fucking Nerd About Everything.

-Loki likes calculus as a hobby.

-Loki is, (un?)fortunately, a British stereotype.

-Loki ships appledash and narusasu.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. Bye, and thanks for letting me dump headcanons on you.

Hi! Thank you so much for sharing all of these with me, it's so fun to see other people's headcanons about Loki and their excitement about his character. I love discussing this blorbo and cracking him open like an onion to peal away layers of trauma and reveal the nerd beneath.

Lol, the amount of times I've thought about doing an MCU rewrite post a1 to fix everything is insane. If I did do this, I'd actually probably start at civil war, because personally, I feel like everything was (generally) actually okay and enjoyable until infinity war. Civil war is just a good place to kick around the fix-its because everything is such a mess.

As far as your request goes, it might surprise you, but you're actually NOT the first person to approach me about a genderfluid, fem-presenting Loki. More like the....4th? or maybe 5th? Idk. I've definitely been approached by multiple people over the years about this. Firstly, thank you for trusting me with your idea and your headcanons, I'm humbled and honored that you would approach me about this because you believed I would be able to write the story in a way that you would find meaningful and enjoyable <3

Second - I really just don't know. My first inclination is to say no, not because I'm not interested or don't care, but mostly because I'm so busy right now I really don't know when I'll be able to get to the story. Plus, I'm really not sure how to go about this. I'd need to figure out what direction I wanted to take the story, because Loki being genderfluid wouldn't change that much except their outward appearance. Loki + genderfluid + Natasha friendship is an amazing concept, but it's not a...plot, if that makes sense? "Fixing" a1 could be 50,000,000 separate things, and if it goes out as a fix-it for mcu, that would be an enormous project. Easily 200k-400k+, which would take me like...uh 1-3 years to write.

Loki being genderfluid IS something I've thought about just adding to my fics in general now (i'm really not sure, because I love cis male Loki, and I know it's canon that he's genderfluid, but I kind of disregard most things from the series anyway?) but Idk?

+ and this is just a personal one for me, but I don't know how to include Loki being genderfluid as a major part of the plot/story right now. Like, for example, I've been in the process of dumping all of my religious lgbtq+ trauma on peter parker in a (massive) one-shot that revolves around Peter learning to accept himself as being gay, but the point of the story is that Peter doesn't accept himself at first and the conclusion is when he does. (I don't know if I'm ever going to share or finish that fic by the way, so don't look for it) I don't know how to take the concept of this story, turn it into a fix-it for Avengers 1 with Natasha, and have a meaningful story about being genderfluid at the same time?

Like to me there's two different ways to go about lgbtq+ stories: a story about being gay that is intended to talk about lgbtq+ experiences and focus heavily on that, vs a story where the character is lgbtq+ and it's just part of their character and not something we spend a lot of time talking about because we don't need to. The story isn't about them being lgbtq+ specifically, it's about the character. Recently, a lot more media has started doing the latter, which is really, really nice because I don't feel like being lgbtq+ has to be justified every 20 lines.

The story I'm writing about Peter Parker is the former. It's about being gay. The entire story revolves around it. What I can tell from what you're saying is that you want something where Loki just IS genderfluid, but it's not something we spend a whole lot of time discussing because the story isn't ABOUT being genderfluid, it's about fixing mcu with genderfluid Loki as the main character, if I'm understanding this correctly? Which is fine and I absolutely support it because there is nothing wrong with writing genderfluid Loki and I wholeheartedly support those authors.

So i guess to shorten this - because this isn't just like a ~5-15k one-shot (which are about the only length of requests I can successfully complete right now), as respectfully as I can, I'm going to have to lovingly turn you down. I'm not saying no, I'll never write about genderfluid Loki, because I'm like 90% sure I will eventually, but I just don't know about a fix-it for MCU from the first Avengers. One suggestion I have is maybe, if you really really need to see this come to fruition, is to just write a bunch of one-shots that are interconnected based on each of your headcanons and then publish it as an interconnected series, not so much a full length novel like I would write. I can easily see this being a really enjoyable series. Best of luck

~galaxy <3

[imaginaryberries]

In other news I'm slightly concerned that I'm coming on too strong with my cousin, with sending several gifts (well, one for her and one for each kiddo) and messaging quite a lot and just straight up telling her I'd been thinking and worrying about her lol. We had a weird few years after a couple of fallings out and even when we were super close we were never like... affectionate? Not that we were horrible to each other or anything but we were young and it was that way where e.g. if we wanted to say we missed each other we'd bury it in jokey name calling. But honestly I don't really go in for that now, I have missed her since we've not been close and I have thought about her a lot since she's had her baby. I'd like us to be closer again and I may as well be my earnest self about it 🤷🏼‍♀️ I wrote in the card among other things that if she needs to trauma dump then I'm here for her and I really hope she takes that seriously bc birth trauma is so isolating

[justajsworkshop]

Hi. I'm the 🍥 anon and I'm back. It's been nice and light 3 days and I feel much better than before. So thanks a lot for ur advice rlly.

I tried to follow whatever you said for the most part, but couldn't exactly do it all. I'm actually preparing for one of the toughest exams of my nation and I study almost 12-13 hours a day, so I'm barely free. I don't rlly like studying and plus there's a ton of other more shitty circumstances, (I just wouldn't wanna trauma dump here) so thats why I kind of was very much obsessed with the void. (changing ur whole life in an instant seems like a big win lol and also too good to be true, hence the doubts.)

But istg, in almost 8 whole months, this was the first time I was EVER away from Tumblr. Otherwise I'd be here everyday, anytime i would be free, obsessively scrolling. Time away rlly felt nice and I've decided to minimize my usage of Tumblr as much as possible. I still love Tumblr, but I feel like some things over here rlly trigger my doubts and fear.

I tried to take out time for myself tho, I listened to music, watched a movie, and tried to find the fun in life. It felt nice. I also affirmed 'I am' whenever I could. I feel like I still didn't affirm as much as I should have. I would affirm in my mind every time I meditated since thats when I feel the most at peace. But I'm still going to continue affirming 'I am'.

About the intention part, I wrote that I'm excellent at math and surprisingly, one of the math chapters that everybody finds difficult seemed like a child's play to me.

I also feel like I can have whatever I want to now, and maybe just not yet, but very soon. I also feel like this is meant for me. So thankyou so much for that as well.

Now I actually want to start learning and applying the law since I never paid much attention to it due to my void obsession. Even though I still want to tap into the void and manifest my dream life as soon as possible, I just feel like I could try applying the law as well.

So overall, thankyou so much. Really I'm very grateful and I will await your response.

hello again, and welcome back! this is a great update. i love to hear it. you 100% created that shift with your math studies, no doubt. that's amazing! def give yourself lots of credit for making that happen for yourself because YOU are source. you really did execute the law perfectly in that regard.

i'll also add that the law is working all the time. there's no on or off switch to manifesting/shifting. it's just a matter of us choosing to consciously wield what we do naturally. we're accepting that we are the awareness that has the freewill to choose what we want to experience in physical reality. and i think it's worth mentioning that the law above all laws is the law of being, not even just the law of assumption.

this is why i recommend to everyone to focus less on how much you're affirming, what you're affirming, what your desires are, when it's all going to happen, if it's possible, etc. the only question that matters (and has any power, tbh) is who: who and what are you conscious of being? the limited self? the self who's victimized by circumstances? the self who has no control or power or neeeeeeeeds to tap into the void (something you perceive as separate and more powerful than you, along with difficult to attain) to get what you want because you don't think you're powerful enough as a creator to have the life you desire right here and now?

i understand the void obsession. like, i really, really do. boy, have i been there. but i think it's also worth getting curious about why it's something you obsess over or feel like you need. what story are you telling about yourself through this obsession with the void? anything you want to manifest through the void can be manifested without because you're the operant/omnipotent power of your experience.

i understand the desire for instant radical change, but saying to yourself that you can only accomplish that via the void state simultaneously claims you are not capable of instant radical change by yourself. do you see how these statements are one in the same? as a result, you get stuck in a constant feedback loop of nonfulfillment and feeling like nothing is changing because your beingness is convicted of the truth that you cannot change/you cannot create change. you need this thing you perceive to be outside/greater/more powerful than you to be capable of having what you want.

not to mention, the void state is just... you. there's no separation. it's not some dark entity outside of you that you have to placate and satisfy to win over its good graces. but if you secretly believe that, you'll create the lived experience of it.

i really recommend taking time to just enjoy imagining yourself living your dream life—without placing any unhelpful judgments on that imaginal experience such as it's '"just" in imagination, when will it get here, how is that even possible, blah blah blah. just imagine yourself as you desire to be and just BE that version of self, even for a few moments a day or right before bed/as you're falling asleep. and imagination doesn't just mean visualizing; you can affirm, too, although anytime you "remember" something, it's equally as powerful as imagining. so just play scenes in your head like they're memories because, honestly, they are. all imagining is remembering, and all remembering is imagining. remember yourself as you would like to be. it's not about the level of detail or specificity; it's just about if you're allowing yourself to BE that person.

so, give yourself permission to just be the you you desire to be here and now, and let life give you that version of experiencing reality. you don't have to brute force anything. you don't have to affirm 16 hours straight. you don't have to DO anything at all. this is and has always been a story about beingness. be the you that makes you feel happy and fulfilled within. it's your birthright and who you truly are, after all, so why would you want to keep masquerading as anyone else? including a version of self who is miserable and unfulfilled?