#i'd also love to know how they passed the night in that net

[skunkes]

ok detailed surgery experience

i made this schedule (?) of the major events as soon as I left while I cld still remember (and still kinda forgot!) i like knowing the Times of stuff so I asked my dad to take note of Times for me, and tried to ask for the time where i could

surgery I got was a laproscopic bilateral salpingectomy, full removal of the fallopian tubes only!

Misc details off of dis, obviously TMI territory as its a medical procedure.

The second blood draw (they took blood from me yesterday tooooo) hurt less and more somehow. Nasty nasty bruise forming.

IV really was the worst part of it ! I'd get weird throbs of frustrating pain long after it was in

I was given compression stockings that went right up to my crotch. Your toes stick out, and they put hospital socks over your feet. Some additional compress wraps were placed above my knees.

Pre op/prep didnt take too long at all. I know I have it listed as over an hour of waiting, which always made me nervous to read in other people's experiences, but it doesn't really feel like waiting. The TV helps pass the time, as do the people who are with you if any, and the nurses popping in with help or instructions or updates. The prep room was small and the bathroom was next door. The double doors open to wheel you out. Remote was given toe to control the TV and also call the nurses via a speaker.

The nurse who wheeled me in was nicest, she pronounced my name Correctly and was also really funny and friendly...

In general I knew this surgery was going to go well because I was actually able to fall asleep last night. I've stayed awake/tossed and turned for events far less stressful. Dis was also due to part of it kind of not feeling real for me! And being wheeled into surgery room added to that! It didnt feel real, it felt like watching one of many scenes from medical media of the same point of view.

I did start quaking and shaking once in the surgery room (also small, I did not look around much in fear of it making me panic last minute!)

They had me scoot from the prep bed to the surgery table. There was a pink foam headrest for me to slot the back of my head into. They strap you in with arms out like ur being crucified and thats when it became more Real for me so i started shaking a lot, but I can't tell how bad it was under the heavy blankets. I think I shook more and for longer when I went for my MRI (which also isnt/wasnt scary but the body freaks out for no reason). Im surprised at myself for being so Calm ykwim

Anyway, strapped in, had monitoring stuff stickered onto my body: my sternum, side of body under chest/armpits, and another pair I cant remember where. Hair was put up in hair net. My hospital gown was untied as the tie starts halfway across your body and goes under, but this was not done in an invasive-to-privacy way, and I was still fully covered by it (and then recovered by blankets)

(3 separate people asked me how many kids I had throughout this whole venture, and were Shocked at my response. This was the other most nerve wracking part as I started to get weirdly anxious that someone wouldn't like this and cancel my surgery or something. One of the Askers was the anesthesiologist.) Doctor/surgeon came in and asked if i was ready and talked about how he loved being under anesthesia LOL. Everybody was speaking about their opinions about childbirth and sterilization and parenthood, but amongst each other and not to influence my decision, along with telling each other to set up XYZ. Once again everybody is charmed by Cheye's usage of the word "yay"

Ive never had surgery before, so I was worried about anesthesia. In my mind i was imagining it to be being fully lucid and then your vision darkens and takes you, which was scary to me like i dont wanna be freaking out and then immediately KNOCKED out!

But it was gradual which actually made it more calming for me...the funny nurse put the oxygen mask over me, I got very nervous bc she said to take deep breaths and honestly i couldnt even breath much at all in it, and breathing out also felt very restricting and like I was going to choke, but it wasn't Distressing. I just breathed slowly and it worked anyway.

In a few seconds I felt a cool tingle in my arm that then sort of burst into my torso, and my whole body felt really light and my eyelids draggggggged half closed, but it felt very mechanical and involuntarily (like slowly closing window blinds...or like how the brightness options on a 3DS are numbered buttons ykwim? Like, Closing 1, Closing 2, Closing 3, Closed Halfway, all pressed in quick succession). Heavy heavy heavy. I stayed in that half closed state for a while! (Probably not even a full minute, but it also wasn't instant...i still had time to think and Hear conversation etc, as well as feel that there was some mechanical thing tightening around my spread arms along with the hand adjusted straps)

The funny nurse was telling me to relax and have sweet dreams and that they wld take care of me and such. And then I was out. I do not remember my vision fully fading or eyes fully closing, in my mind they stayed in that half closed state.

Ive heard ppl say it feels like blinking and waking up, but it did feel like sleep to me!!!! I know dreaming under anesthesia isn't really a thing, but waking up felt like....i was really waking up like normal and trying to remember traces of a dream after several hours of sleep.

I always thought it was silly seeing ppl ask if the surgery was over when they come out of it, but I did that. But like i swear it came out involuntarily??? Like i knew it was over....i think it was because I couldnt really SEE anything when i woke up, I could only hear staff speaking to me, and I can barely remember what they said. Vision was VERY very blurred. So I guess that question came out as substitute for Where Am I, and Who's Here With Me? Speaking felt like when audio unsyncs from a video, with my voice trailing far behind my words. I also remember being really bewildered bc there was some sort of residue on my lips, like when they're chapped and dry and cracking. I learned later this was bc of the intubation but i Didnt Know That Yet so i was just scared and thirsty.

Adding another "pain was less bad than the average period which has one Doubled Over" statement to the pile. Pain was at 3/10 or 4/10, which is to say if period pain is a whole abdomen event, this pain was small little bruises occasionally being brushed up against, just small throbs of sore pain in the 3 incision spots. I got an incision inside my belly button and that was the most present sensation, but that might also be bc I hate anything having to do with that area in general 😭 always feels weird.

My throat felt very DRY. It wasn't pain yet, it felt like when you're thirsty + dehydrated and your lips stick together at any slight moisture, but in the throat. Kept trying to look around and wiggle my fingers and toes in hopes that'd help me Come Out Of It sooner bc not being able to see was really frustrating me. I could not make out the face of the person watching over me for some time. I really wanted water !

HORROR when the person looking over me said i had a catheter still in me. Nightmare I wasnt counting on actually happening and wasnt mentally prepared for. I was told I would have one placed (make sure to ask if this is a concern for you!) but i thought they'd take it out before I woke up... I cldnt even feel it in me when I was told this! Which is good.

The staff of course had to remove blankets and open my gown a bit to access the area. But I did not feel any distress about this at the time.

Had a very funny slow motion distress response bracing self for removal. It did not hurt or sting at all, it just felt like [something I cant describe here]. Just pressure! It was pulled out gently but quickly of course.

After 1 hr i was wheeled to a separate private recovery room. The nurse uncovered my lower area to check if incisions were doing good so far as well as to check if I had been provided with a pad/underwear, as some patients have blood or other fluids come out as a result of the surgery.

parents came in, was so grateful for juice but in dismay over my food item being orange (i dont like citrus flavor) jello (i dont like jello 😭) i consumed all of both.

I also worried I'd feel weird about throwing my body parts away. But I dont feel anything ^_^ just feels very awesome and natural

Sore throat started further developing. Nurse came in after some time here, taught me how to Get Up. Was scary! I was worried about it hurting, but it was just more soreness.

Was able to go to the bathroom, went a very little bit but it was enough. I was very scared about seeing my incisions and being disgusted by them....but I caught a glance and it was Okey Yey. They are covered in surgical Glue and dont look gnarly, swollen, red or anything they look very cool ^_^ got dressed in stages as there was nothing to set clothes down on and sat back down on the bed. The bathroom connected to another room where somebody else was preparing for surgery.

Nurse came in with final post op instructions, upon describing nausea to me my skin got cold, stomach activated and krusty krab exploded with it. She was just barely able to get me a bag to throw up in. This exacerbated the throat pain. She encouraged me to get it all out especially since I also expelled gas, which is a good thing.

IV removal didnt hurt! Same level of pain as the tape around it being yanked off. I couldn't even tell it was over. I was wheeled out of the hospital. ^_^ i wore an oversized dress my sister lent me, and cheap target sandals so I wouldnt have to bend to tie shoes. My dad pulled up the car right outside. I brought a pillow to be a barrier in between the seat belt and my stomach.

Its 6:48 neow and I am laying down, but the pain is (currently) the same. I had another nausea (and release. Also exacerbated throat pain.) spell (while in walmart picking up the pain meds), was boiling alive in my very hot room, and was a bit dehydrated which may have contributed to some misery and nausea but as of right now I'm ok, i changed into lighter clothes, drank water, ate a bit, and situated self in a room with ac....i worry about getting up and becoming nauseous again 😭 i hate throwing up.

People are right about it being more discomfort than pain! You have to walk around every few hours, and it doesnt hurt but every step feels like my bellybutton is kinda pinching inward. Being tugged at from the inside. Ive gotten to a point where even chuckling makes me feel this very Sour soreness (not regular dull soreness) so maybe ill start the meds soon if necessary.... Squatting to sit doesnt hurt in a debilitating way, neither does actually sitting or putting on/stepping into clothing.

I couldnt nap because laying on my side doesnt hurt the incisions or anything, BUT its just the strange discomfort again. The weight of gravity on the body makes the incision sites feel very very weird in an abstract way i cant describe. It isnt pain. It feels like a mismatched sensation of some sort. Like if you touched your nose and somehow felt the touch on your knee. Adjacent to this. A very specific sensation sits in all the incision sites and drags down through your mattress to the ground and it feels Weird.

If you get up properly it really doesn't hurt to do so! Use your leg to get yourself fully onto your side, then use your arm to push yourself up into a sitting position.

I am very nervous from when all the good strong hospital meds wear off t_t i heard the day after is a struggle because of dis. but ive got the prescribed pain management on hand (extra strength ibuprofen and tylenol with codeine!! O_O) neow at least ^_^;

OH, AND THE DOCTOR TOOK FOTOS OF MY INSIDES LIKE I ASKED! ^_^ 🫶 I have glossy printed souvenir now! I dont exactly know wtf im looking at but its awesum LOL maybe i will ask for details at the follow up!

[freakingoutthesquares]

Shag Pile Carpets Confessions Unknown Publication - Helen. S Stock. 1994 Interview with Russell Senior & Steve Mackey Transcription by me - taken from Pulp scrapbook 2

After thirteen years in the pop wilderness, Sheffield band Pulp finally seemed to be getting the recognition they deserve. What took them so long?

“The thing that we are about is a glamorous thing and we were swimming against the tide in the 80s,” says Russell Senior, the band's guitarist and violinist. “People hated all that stuff, they wanted anonymity and we must have seen quite corny and capricious, really. But now the tide’s swung in our favour in a big way.”

Pulp have been variously described as kitsch’n’sink and their song as ‘Mike Leigh plays set to music.’ “I don't mind that,” says bass player Steve Mackey. “If I saw that written about a band, I'd think it was worth having a listen, because I like Might Leigh. I'd rather they say that than kitsch Electro skiffle, which has been used in the past.”

Pulp songs are also narrative packed, with Jarvis Cockers lyrics invoking cast of odd, yet accessible characters making out and breaking up behind the net curtains. As Russell says, “Most people who write love songs or about sex write from a macro outside view, but Jarvis writes about the minutiae.” In His’n’Hers their latest album, Jarvis, the Clark Kent of the pop world, expressed his fears of interior decoration, of soap on the Rope, pot-pourri and nights on Couple Row. Russell, now a father for the second time, denies any anti couple sentiments. “It's more about not letting mundanity creep into the relationship you have. Getting the his’n’hers towels thing. But I recognise something of myself in some of those slag off lyrics.”

Pulp's last single, Do You Remember The First Time, is accompanied by a documentary of the same title, which is due to be screened on Channel 4 in June. In the film, they ask a host of friends and celebs including Jo Brand, Reeves and Mortimer, Terry Hall, Alison Steadman and Justine from Elastica how they lost their virginity. The results are funny and enlightening. Not much Mills & Boon here, but plenty of damp grass, awkward fumbling and carpet burns. While most of us have trouble remembering the last time, Pulp probe the first times of their subjects in the most sensitive way. To create an intimate atmosphere, they put a ‘sad pretend leather couch’ in the studio, poured the whiskey, passed round the cigs, and the rest is celluloid.

Steve admits, “We didn't ask any embarrassing physical questions like ‘was he rough’ or anything like that. They were all in control of how much detail they told us.”

The film has received good reviews following screenings at London's ICA and nationally, including Manchester's Dry Bar. It also provided an inbuilt chat up line for those present and led to the deflowering of one young Innocent. “It was a boy who was in the video for our single,” says Steve, “and it happened the night we showed it at the ICA, so I thought that was good.”

Whose first time would they most like to know about? “My dad.” Says Steve. “I never found out what happened to my parents, and when they came to see the film, I thought they might tell me. I've got this sneaking suspicion that I was the result of the first time. I wouldn't say they've ever been great lovers.”

All this sex talk in the press would lead to embarrassing confessions. Have they ever given too much away? Steve nods. “I thought that when we did the NME article, they asked us individually to tell our own stories. Once you get in there, it all comes out. Russell laughs, “I just lied.” “I didn't. I told the truth,” says Steve, perhaps a bit miffed he didn't think of it himself. “Yeah, but mine was more interesting,” says Russell. “The truth wasn't.”

“But I don't advocate Scandinavian attitudes,” confesses Steve. “I quite enjoy the fact that English people are they way they are, to be honest.” Reserved? “Initially reserved, but in private quite the opposite, they’re quite bestial when it comes down to it. Not speaking from personal experience, of course!” “You shouldn't be ashamed of your body,” deadpans Russell, “it’s a sinful thing.” “And I want you to be ashamed,” laughs Steve. “Yes,” says Russell, “share my shame.”

While stardom beckons, Steve bemoans his current homeless state, which he agrees this is self-inflicted due to splitting up with his girlfriend, “But I’ve not had a real house in seven years. I went to London and lived in squats for five years, then me and Jarvis had a council house which was worse than the squat and now I'm on Jarvis' floor.” “We've all squatted,” says Russell. “I know we're not the Levellers, but we have suffered bad housing.”

Reluctantly, Pulp agreed that the measure of success is still an appearance on Top of the Pops. As Steve puts it, “If you haven't been on Top of the Pops and somebody asked you in five years time what you do, you couldn't really say ‘I'm in a band.’ It's like getting your Cycling Proficiency Test or your L plates.” Like losing your virginity. “Yeah, the test of you’re in a band now.” So while we await the imminent debut with bated breath, is there anything else they aspire to? “Yes,” says Steve “a Flat.”

Sisters EP will be released on 16th of May. Pulpwood Play the Glastonbury Festival 24th to 26th of June.

[coffeecupmemes]

World of Warcraft Sentence Starters: /flirt Edition

"You know, I had a boy/girlfriend, but I lost him/her in the crash. That is the bad news. The good news is, I'm available!"

"I'll have you know I can flatten steel with my thighs."

"I'd like to see you in a kilt."

"I won't fall for any bad pickup line. You've got to try 2 or 3 at least."

"Enough with your flirting, I know you think all women look the same."

"Enough of the chit-chat. Let's get to it then."

"You'd like to run your hands through my beard, wouldn't ya?"

"Let's get on with it then, I've got a quest to do in 15 minutes."

"You look pretty, I like your hair, here's a drink... Are you ready now?" 

"Where are you from? Heh, not that it matters."

"I must be asleep, 'cause you are a dream come true. Also, I'm slightly damp."

"You are cute!"

"At this time, I think you should purchase me an alcoholic beverage and engage in diminutive conversation with me in hopes of establishing a rapport."

"Your ability to form a complete sentence is a plus."

"I do not find you completely disagreeable."

"I don't feel the 1 to 10 scale is fine enough to capture subtle details of compatibility. I'd prefer a 12 dimensional compatibility scale with additional parameters for mechanical aptitude and torque."

"I have a number of inventions I'd like to show you, back at my place."

"I like large posteriors and I cannot prevaricate." 

"Hey! Nice apparatus."

"You've got me all a-flutter."

"My turn offs are rude people, mean people and people who aren't nice."

"How ya doin'?"

"If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me?" 

"Hey, baby cakes."

"What's your sign?"

"Are you tired? 'Cause you've been running through my mind all day."

"Your tag's showing. It says, uh, 'Made in Heaven.'"

"Sure, I've got exotic piercings."

"I'm the type of girl my mother warned me about."

"There's nothing like sleeping in the forest under the moonlight."

"I hope you're not afraid of snakes."

"I'm a force of nature."

"Wanna bring out the animal in me?"

"Being bitchy is in my blood. Don't pretend you don't like it."

"I hope you don't mind a little howling in bed."

"Don't worry babe... the fur is just something to hold onto."

"I'm looking for a man who appreciates... natural beauty."

"I just want someone to pat me on my head and tell me I'm a good girl."

"I'll teach you to make my legs shake."

"Don't pretend you don't like a guy with a wild side."

"Panting at you? No! No... it's just hot in here."

"I'd like to mark your territory."

"Don't be afraid, I don't bite... hard..." 

"What big ears I have? You should check out the rest of me!"

"You're like the moon baby, you make me howl all night!"

"If you play nice, I'll share my bone with you..."

"I'm a nice girl, but I know my way around an anvil."

"It takes more than a mug or two to get on my good side. Ah! A keg ought to do it!"

"Come over to my place - we'll iron out your love life."

"The way you swing that hammer really stokes my forge!"

"Things are getting a little heated, don't you think?"

"Interested in joining the mile deep club?"

"Did you come from a diamond mine? 'Cause I want to learn all your facets."

"I can keep you warm on a cold night. Well at least my forge can."

"I'm a hunk-a hunk-a burning love."

"I'm harboring a crush on you."

"You can't be nautical without a bit of naughty."

"Better be ready for me, or you'll miss the boat."

"Why don't we go somewhere a little more... privateer?"

"You don't look like much, but... any port in a storm."

"You sure put the wind in my sails."

"Care to join me for a bit of rocking the boat?"

"Let's meet at the harbor! We could be two ships passing in the night."

"You must be a siren, cause I can't resist ya!"

"Together, we could really make some waves."

"Get your fishing net ready, cause I'm quite the catch!"

"Fancy a drink, love? I know a good dive bar."

"Hope you enjoy fishing--because I'm throwing you a line!"

"I admire a soldier who can... remain... at attention." 

"I used to be a ten, but then I upgraded to an eleven." 

"No one has more junk in their trunk than me."

"You sure you're geared enough? Perhaps I should... inspect your equipment."

"Care to see if our components are... compatible?"

"Initiating flirtation protocol."

"They say the void hungers, let's start off with a bit of... nibbling."

"Get nice and close, whispers are... kind of my thing."

"There's a void in my heart, have you come to fill it?"

"What am I into? Let's just say some of my proclivities run a bit dark."

"I do my best work in the shadows, allow me to… demonstrate."

"When studying shadow magic one learns to be flexible… very flexible."

"You sate my hunger and I'll sate yours."

"I'm addicted to you, baby…"

"Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again...?"

"You look almost as good as I do."

"Hey, why don't you come over here and... WATCH THE HAIR!"

"You know what I love about your eyes? When I look deep enough, I can see my own reflection."

"I know every rose has its thorn, but if you would just pour some sugar on me, we could rock and roll all night and par-tay every day."

"Want to see my good side? Hahaha, that was a trick question, all I have are good sides."

"If you liked it then you should have put a larger, more elaborate ring on it."

"I'm a full service kind of gal!"

"I'm short and good with my hands... how can you resist?"

"Is that your wallet? Or are you just glad to see me? Both I hope!" 

"Wait 'til you try a piece of this shortcake."

"Let's get together and compare our figures."

"Let's make sweet, sweet profit together."

"Does this turn you on?" *jingles bag of gold*

"How about... you and me... go out on the town and buy me some expensive jewellery?"

"Oh baby, you know how to turn my gears!"

"Ever rode a rocket before? Mine's huge." 

"Honey, I've got all kinds of toys in my utility belt."

"Woah, baby you are a bomb shell if I ever saw one! And trust me; I know my bomb."

"I like my women the way I like my fuses: short, fast and ready to blow." 

"Let me buy you a drink. No, wait you buy me a drink. Ah, you know what, just give me the money."

"How much?"

"I'll give you crazy love."

"I like men who aren't afraid to cry... cry uncle!"

"You'll do. Let's go."

"Don't talk. Just follow me."

"Let's not ruin this moment with chit-chat."

"That armor looks good on you. It would look even better on my floor." 

"This is true love. Do you think this happens every day?" 

"You have six different smiles. One for when you're angry. One for when you tear flesh. One for when you chew flesh. One for when you loot bodies. One for when you skin game. And one for when you want to kill something."

"Lady, from the moment I see you I... I did not expect to get this far."

"I'm tired of the same old bull."

"I've got big, soulful eyes, long eyelashes and a wet tongue. What more could a guy want?"

"Come over here, sailor."

"Wanna see some good clog dancing?"

"Hey. You into leather?"

"Free rides for the ladies."

"Hey. You work out?" 

"Are you comfortable with complicated machinery?" 

"I know, my natural beauty is intimidating."

"Arent'cha gonna axe me out?" 

"I won't bite you where it shows."

"You're the type I'd like to sink my teeth into!"

"Want some of my jungle love?" 

"You look pretty. Pretty tasty."

"I hope you're well rested. You're going to need your strength."

"Nice butt."

"I don't care that much about romance. I fell in love before and look what happened to me."

"I don't need to get funky. I'm already there."

"Are you staring at my rack?" 

"You know, high-altitude living does wonders for one's stamina. Allow me to demonstrate..."

"Trust me... I have experience at exploring deep places." 

"Beware the deep places... of my heart."

"Get as rough as you like. I've got a thick hide."

"You must be an alchemist, because we've got great chemistry."

"Last person to hit on me learned what "hitting on" really means."

"Just because I'm enjoying your company doesn't mean I don't also want to punch you."

"Before we go any further, I need to know... How high is your pain threshold?"

"Is your mother a fire elemental? Because you are smokin' hot!"

"No illusions here. Everything you see is real... very real."

"You must know magic too, because you just made everyone else in the room disappear."

"The stars have judged you, and found you... smokin' hot."

"Everything has its use. I could think of a couple for you." 

"It's lonely chasing my own tail. How about I chase yours instead?"

"You can visit my oasis anytime."

"Have you come to trade? Or did you have something else in mind?" 

"I could wander the desert with you all night. We'd freeze to death, but it would be worth it."

"I'll be the fox. You be the hound."

"I've always got a seat on my wagon for you."

"You could say I am a double threat... hexy AND sexy!"

"It does not take a love potion to win me over... but it couldn't hurt your chances."

"Other guys might put you on a pedestal, but I will put you atop a pyramid."

"Are you casting a spell? Because I have a fetish for you."

"I may stand upright, but I know how to get down."

"Those claws look heavy. How about you let me hold one?"

"I want to be the wind beneath your wings."

"You must be tired, 'cause you've been flying through my mind all day."

"One look at you, and my head is in the clouds."

"You bring the dungeon, and I'll bring the dragon."

"With you and me together, the sky's the limit."

"Careful... my kiss can melt your heart. Literally!"

"Breathe in... Breathe out... Go to your happy place... *inhales* Your happy place or mine? *exhales*"

"Quickly as you can, snatch the pebble from my hand... Great! Now, see if you can find where I hid the other pebble..."

"Oh, I've never done THAT before.. Uh... You're not doing it right..."

"Hey stranger. Buy a lady a drink? ... What? Just one? Seriously?"

"Let me show you my kung fu grip." 

"Yeah, I would tap dat keg." 

"Hey, hot stuff. Want to try breeding in captivity?" 

"Do you know kung fu? Cus your body is kickin'."

"Nice pants. What's the drop rate?"

"Hey gorgeous. Wanna try crane position? Oh no... For you, monkey style."

"I'd love to show you my Twisting Nether."

"I take on the powers of the demons I've killed. Did I tell you I've slain a whole army of succubi?"

"If you looked like me, you wouldn't wear a shirt either."

"Are you sure you're not part-demon? I find myself wanting to stalk you."

"I hope you like tattoos, because they're permanent. If you don't believe me, you could try rubbing them off."

"I've only got eyes for you, baby."

"You know, they do say love is blind."

"You. Me. Let's go. Now."

"Aren't you a handsome devil?"

"I'm looking for someone who can really soothe my inner demon."

"I can't seem to take my eyes off you."

"Are you sure you're not part-demon? Hmm...do you want to be?"

"You look good... I think."

[g0atmama]

If Hestia was an NPC, it would have to be with SVE. She'd live in Castle Village, but the player could meet her before they gain entry if they defeat Apophis with certain conditions.

If that happens, you get a slight boost to friendship. Not a full heart, but a boost. She's impressed with you. You can also find her at the Outpost, she'll run a courier service to deliver items to your home if your bags get full. The items will be in a box by your door when you get back, no matter how fast you get there. She somehow got there faster.

Later on, when you gain entry into CV, you officially meet her with a group of adventurers talking about slaying dragons. She's arguing with them that humans should leave dragons alone. She specifically says the word 'humans'. One of the others notices you, knows of your feats. They call you over, ask for your opinion on dragons.

'Dragons are monsters whose very existence is a threat to humanity' Gets her furious at you. She glares and shoves past you- if you've started learning magic from Magnus, you feel... something... when her shoulder hits you. The others scoff and tell you who she is. That she's weird about dragons.

'They're creatures like everything else in the world. We should respect their right to live' She's happy. With the past interaction with Apophis, if you had met her, it's enough to net you a heart with her right there. As the other two leave, she stays to introduce herself. And mentions, again if you've started to learn magic, that she senses your magic. Maybe you two will be good friends. She'll be keeping you safe in the Badlands. Look out for giant crystals.

Any of the universal loved/likes that are food, she'll be neutral to- and after her 10 heart event she'll have special dialogue about it, asking if you want her to get sick or just forgot she can't eat anything but fish. Her loved gifts would include gemfish, where she'd mention that it has a very tangy flavor that tingles when she eats it. The first time you give her one, there's even a conversation with the farmer about how she eats them, is that even possible???

Her 10 heart event is where you learn she's a dragon. It happens in the Badlands at night during summer. The heat is sweltering, no matter your energy you pass out. It's okay, it's just part of the event. As the screen is black, there's a sound effect of wings, something heavy hitting the ground, and a sniff. Then wings again. When the farmer wakes up, you're in the sky. She warns you, in your head, to be careful getting up too fast. She's taking you home. You passed out from the heat, you should really be more careful out here. The stars are beautiful as they rush past you. You're laying on top of a dragon... Wait, what?

You hear the dragon chuff and trill. Then her voice again, in your head. The text box appears fully, properly. With a dragon sprite. She explains. She keeps it from everyone who she doesn't trust. This kind of thing, people hate dragons. You remember the argument she was having when you met, don't you? You remember how they were advocating for the slaughter? She has to protect herself. So she hides in plain sight. And protects the Badlands at night, when everyone else sleeps. You can ask about the giant crystals. They're her, she creates them to trap Apophis from absorbing too much magic, or to herd monsters away from the gates.

You two keep talking, eventually landing at the farm. She lets you off, magic turning her back human. She pauses.

"I get it. If you want to pretend this never happened. If we never met. I'd understand."

You have options.

You can ask her to stay; you still feel a little dizzy. This leads to a smiling portrait, and she comes inside. She sits on the floor. You offer the bed. She pauses... Okay, but she'll be on top of the sheets. She asks if you're really okay with her lying to you. You have a choice between kissing her cheek or saying that you don't mind. If you kiss her cheek, she gets flustered and falls off the bed. But she's smiling, just a touch.

You can tell her that she didn't lie. She just didn't tell the whole truth. That gets a laugh. Yeah, sure. You take care of yourself, (farmer). She'll keep an eye out for you in the Badlands.

Or, you can tell her that she's right. You don't want anything to do with a dragon. She'll sigh and nod, turning back to leave. Then, before she takes off, you have a chance to say one more thing or stay silent. 'And if I see you again, I won't let you hurt anyone else.' If you do, she looks back at you. Her tail swipes angrily. In your mind, "I never hurt any humans who didn't attack me first. They're all dead." This resets your friendship to 0 and locks you from talking to her. She won't even have a sad dialogue like divorce, she will ignore you. And she will hate any gift you try to give her.

[aigeneratedromancenovel]

05/28/2024

One week ago today, I sat on the floor by the bathroom with my then-boyfriend and discussed at length a timeline for the future we ostensibly wanted together. Three days later, he sat on my porch—sunglassed eyes in the bright morning sun, the kind that fogs the air—and said he no longer enjoyed his time with me.

I have watched the Ring camera footage of this moment countless times since.

The Ring camera came with the house—the house I convinced my parents to buy in Central New York so that we would have a safety net for his pending divorce. At first it didn’t work—the camera. Something about the wiring. I figured it was for the best—I’m prone to paranoia and could picture myself checking the live feed at odd hours of the night and ultimately convince myself of some unseen threat lurking in the pixelated silhouettes of the street. Then one day, a delivery person rang the doorbell, startling me off of my then-boyfriend’s lap, wondering if it had come from whatever show was playing on a ridiculously widescreen television I had purchased with his teenage son in mind. And when it started working, I’d find myself replaying captures of large insects or dogs passing just within its sensors, images I’d watch and assign arbitrary meaning to. Large white dogs mean rain. Spiders also mean rain. Everything means rain—it’s Spring in Central New York.

I met him a year and half ago. I’d been enlisted by a close friend to check Tinder for her situationship. When the mission was over, I still had most of the week’s subscription remaining. He was 17 years older than me and I couldn’t really tell from his photos the state of his hairline. I wasn’t even sure our first date would happen—it was hastily planned when I made it known I would be out of town for two weeks. A small Italian restaurant equidistant from our homes—mine, at the time, was with my histrionic roommate who never liked him but for the wrong reasons.

This is the same restaurant I’d cry in front of about seven months later when I discovered he was still talking to the ex he had assured me multiple times had been blocked.

This is not to be confused with the time I cried in front of a grocery store while repeatedly bashing my wrists into the console of his car when, days shy of our one-year anniversary, he revealed to me he went on dating apps when we fought to self-soothe. The bruises I'd given myself lasted a week; I could understand the impulse to self-destruct.

I am not telling a true story. I am telling you the story that you’re going to hear regardless of how honest I am about what a fucking bitch I can be.

Because the facts of the story are as follows: for the past year and a half I have devoted myself wholly to a married man whose divorce was always, always pending, whose anger was infectious, whose remorse, in its desperation, felt the closest I think one can get to love.

Because the facts of the story are as follows: in the words of the only other man to have dumped me (weird flex)—the man whose fiction was so bad it jump-started my own interest in writing just to spite him—I am unrealistic in my expectations of monogamy.

I learned what quickened his heart, what tensed his jaw. And I'd reach to cruelty for life support. And reach, and reach, and …

The evening before our first date, he called me, and we talked for over four hours. This would be a defining feature of the early stages of the relationship. I knew immediately the type of girl he wanted me to be, and I thought there was nothing more I loved than a list. But there was—I loved being his. I was, at one point, so good at it. We both played our roles so good. I got cocky.

I am not telling a true story because I still write out of spite. I am not telling a true story because I would do anything for him to look at me like he did that first night at the restaurant when I caught his gaze through the front door. I couldn’t tell what it was then. I still don’t know what it is now.

The morning he left I learned the lawn mower I had purchased was too weak to do the job, a job I’d left for far too late in the season, so late I’m still expecting a code violation in my mailbox. My friend said to return it. To buy the model that would do the job.

I don’t want a different one, I just want this one to work.

[pxrxllel]

the night after the others

Before this night, there was the one when I made fun of his capital letters-only handwriting eating dinner by headlamp light at the beach. And before that, there was the night that I whispered into his shoulder Je t’adore and all he said in response was Tu m’adore? Génial. And before that, the night we smashed back beer after beer in a four person karaoke room with a German backpacker couple we’d met a few hours earlier, who had taken one look at us and said Aww, that’s love. And before that, all the nights that we were in a dark club, wearing each other’s faces and forgetting about a version of the future that we had already agreed didn’t exist. All the passing comments that strangers had made upon seeing how alive we were around each other had been slowly stacking up in the periphery of my mind. Somewhere along the way, everything he said had started to sound like a question, and I love you was the answer to every single one. I had been holding it between my teeth like a ticking time bomb.

And then there was this night. The house was strewn with disco lights twirling around the room, vinyl paper, streamers, ribbons, ceiling decorations, music, and fridges overflowing with alcohol. Everyone was dressed to the nines, many getting drunk out of their minds. I was six drinks down and waiting for it to hit, which it did slowly and then all at once. In my half-stupor, I landed four shots in beer pong teamed up with a guy in a Hugh Hefner outfit, who bragged to him about how I was carrying the game when he emerged back at my side from stumbling between rooms for god knows how long. He put his arm around me in disbelief and slurred in my ear.

“Baby, I don’t feel good. I gotta go. I want to throw up.”

I had seen him drunk many, many times, but this time was different. I had never seen him stumbling like this, so I hauled him down the stairs and swung through the door into a linoleum tiled bathroom. I sat him down next to the toilet and held his head while he warned me it was going to be ugly, and promptly unleashed all of the nothing he had eaten all night into the bowl. I leaned over him, reached clumsily for the flush and crouched back down in front of him while he slumped back against the wall, lips shuddering from catching his breath, gaze drifting before settling somewhere on my face that I was also too inebriated to focus on. 

They say it’s a good rule of thumb to never tell someone you love them for the first time when you’re drunk. But I also had a rule about not emotionally investing too much into something that could never be serious, and he had a rule about staying single and unattached in this season of his life. I’d always followed the rules. I'd listened to the advice of my parents and people around me I trusted knew better, who had told me to look for stability and consistency and predictability. I’d always been with men who were neat and tidy, steady and safe, tethered to their routines and their white-collar jobs and their degrees, a strategy that had failed to insure me from repeated heartbreak anyway. 

Seeing some drool at the corner of his mouth, I grabbed a wad of toilet paper and tilted his face to the side. I returned his half-lidded gaze at me, and saw the opposite of every rule I’d been following up to this point. His face was a mess of trial and error, and fuck-its and running around the world to try to figure out the unknowns, and failures and getting back up, and transience, and reckless decisions and somehow it was hush quiet in comparison to the roar of my heart unfurling whenever he smiled at me and the crinkles around his eyes deepened. 

I had been so cold to him, so wrapped up in safety nets to keep him from touching me beneath my skin, and he had spent the last six months cocooning me in the warmth of his patience and generosity and kindness and affection. Outwardly, it was hard to decipher, but my chest ached with warmth whenever I thought about his dedication to injecting his life with colour. I was fascinated by how unabashed he was about shouting out loud how much he loved his friends and those around him, of how big and wide and deep his heart for humanity was despite his heavy slant towards pessimism, the way he could build a bridge with anyone from any corner of the world and through time and space, the way he had relentlessly fought his way to the light from a childhood marred with bruises. Sure, his steady flow of compliments and attention and flirty remarks and thoughtful gestures had snuck past my defenses and popped open the locks I had so carefully ringfenced around my heart - but it was his grasp on life that had me suspended in admiration, appreciation, and awe.

It was hardly the moment I had imagined, but it fell into place alongside the rest of our drunken antics. I smiled at his dazed stare and the words I had turned over and ironed out in my head for the last few weeks came tumbling out. “I love you,” I said, wiping away at his mouth. “Don’t worry, it doesn’t change anything, and I don’t expect you to say anything back, but that’s just how my heart feels and I want you to know that.” 

I barely finished speaking before he responded. “I love you too. I’ve been wanting to say it for so long and I’ve been too chicken to.” A glimmer of heat shivered down my spine and I kissed him before he reared his head back to have another go in the toilet. After he finished and collapsed back against the wall, there came a pound on the door and he barked No! and grabbed my hands in his lap. So there we were, sat on a white and peeling bathroom floor, surrounded by the buzz upstairs and the buzz clouding our heads, a tsunami breaking through all the promises we’d put between us and ending in a pool at our feet. 

The light always breaks through. It can’t help itself.

[citharaposts]

Merthur Moments from Every Episode S5Ep1 Arthur's Bane Part 1 Prev | Next

[mynameisaboutlight]

hey there,

i think i'd like to kiss your neck but uhm... u would never like it. i mean pfft im like a 5 year old cute kid... im not sexy, i don't have that body u like, nor the confidence. im just me with no purpose in life. n u wouldn't be interested in me. cuz uhm, ur obviously so into the hot happier ones. so i guess i gotta kill myself so fast, huh? cuz i cannot live with the fact that i cannot be loved. cowardly, yeah but honestly i don't give a fuck abt that one problem if im ever gonna suicide (feelings would cease) ... i ain't gonna linger or stuff. like fuck, this kid hate themselves. it's true but what's so fake abt it? i don't feel real. i don't sense things. i don't really like being intimidated. i don't like bullies. oh heck yeah i have tons of insecurities. i feel like im the loneliest n i cant help but be lonely. cuz um.. me... being so quiet... so.. im scared... n plus... social anxiety... traumatised... past?... my dad when he beat me up... my mother when she watched all that but didn't step up and save her daughter... my classmates when they... um... called me fckn ugly and cyber bullied me... do i think that's real? like, any of this?.. do i... um... have the right... to like... uh... vent ? ... or say that i been in great pain... and that i think nobody would fucking listen to me or believe me?.. does it really matter? i don't think so... but i heard that it's our responsibility, we, "the broken ones" to fix our brokenness and to reverse the irreversible damage that costed us so many friends, so many opportunities. how is that fckn fair? and we're not allowed to be loved unless we got a healthy amount of love to ourselves. n yeah ppl sit n say "oh sorry" but they don't really care. n why should they? n I've already stopped depending on ppl and expecting them to wait for me or to be my friends. cuz im too damaged, i wouldn't have said a thing. oh well i see friends, cool girls, tough boys, daily calling their mommies, feeling happy, saying "i love you" and "i miss you" and i guess it's why i can't live. cuz i don't have a healthy relationship with ma moma. ppl... ppl be calling me cute n wanting to hit me n throw me around at the same time. like is that really how u show love? by being so violent? n my boy buds be bullying me as a joke cuz they don't know im sensitive. they really dunno that i have terrible anxiety and that i could burst into tears without a warning. but do they like me? just for my face i guess. or for they like being around me? but asking them would be hella embarrassing. n my buds don't know that they trigger me whenever they say they wanna hit me jokingly or out of admiration. like fine bro I'd be laughing with ya on that if i really hadn't issues. I'm so stupid sometimes also, abt trivial silly things. like a retarded man. and i ain't no retarded, i just cry every night, my brain be shrinking from strain. u could say i have 4 brain cells, if that makes sense. n i love my buddies but i don't think any one of them actually notice me. like im there but im not. i was never there. i love em. n i like how they be but i don't think anyone has ever seen me. they just pass by me. they smile at me but they don't wanna hang around me. isn't that sad? hehe. ppl really be reading other sad ppl's diaries on the net, don't they?

[straykidsworldwild]

Duskwood

Phil Hawkins x MC

Part 2 (1/2) : MC goes to work and a certain boy comes to meet her for lunch.

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Heyy guys! Here's a piece of part2. It was too long to put the whole thing on Tumblr at once (apparently) so I had to cut it in half 🙈 (2/2) is coming!!

(I just made the collage. Credits go to the creators of Duskwood and the owners of the pics.)

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I slowly wake up, feeling and hearing something buzzing. With my eyes still closed, I slide my hand under the pillow next to mine to grab my phone. I hate waking up by alarms… It feels like I am being cut in my sleep. And I’m not going to lie… I love my sleep just as much as I love food. Who doesn’t? I open my eyes and turn the alarm off before quickly closing them again. I didn't sleep well last night… When I went to bed after texting Phil to tell him I got home fine, I couldn’t stop thinking about the discussion we had at his bar. Was I right to say “yes” for lunch tomorrow noon? Was he being serious? Is he playing a game? Am I falling in his net? I don’t know and I think that’s what terrifies me with him. I just don’t want to be his next hookup… If I start something, it’s for a serious relationship, not to play around. That’s not my thing. But that’s exactly what Phil does so… I guess I should just trust a little more myself. Anyway, that was just the first part of the night, because the next part, all I could do was think about my uncle. Every time I closed my eyes, I just recalled amazing moments with him. Moments that mom, he and I won’t ever have again… I laid on my back, on my sides, on the side… And I did this over and over until managing to fall asleep.

I turn on the lamp on my nightstand when I hear my phone suddenly buzzing again. But I turned it off… Oh! I grab my phone and answer the call after looking at the I.D. caller.

- Hey, mom, how are you? I just woke up… I tell my mother with a still sleepy voice as I sit on the side of my bed. The light is still too much so I close my eyes for a few seconds more. Suddenly, a noise coming from behind the phone call catches my attention. It’s not a noise I am used to hear her make... Mom? I call her with some concern.

- “He's gone…” I hear her simply whispering through the phone as another sound catches my attention again. Sobs… Mom is crying. I’ve heard my mother crying before. It’s so… Strange and heartbreaking. I mean, mom has always been that strong figure, fighting everyone coming in her way or in mine… But she never broke down before me.

- I know, mom. I'm so sorry. But… I begin to respond calmly, keeping the pain to myself. I’ve never heard nor seen my mom crying in my life. She’s all I have as a family and hearing her in such pain… It’s heartbreaking.

- "Can you come over today? I'll need you to finish the preparation of the funeral. I can't do this alone. And..." She interrupts me, sounding overwhelmed and submerged. I lower my head and keep a desperate sigh inside of me. I wish I could already be next to her and tell her to not worry. That she doesn’t have to do anything. That I will take care of this for her. But I can’t because of my dumbass boss… Unbelievable...

- I'd love to, mom, really. But I have to go to work, I begin to say, sounding sad and sorry for not being there for her. I hate it. I feel like I’m betraying my own mother. That I’m not giving her the support she needs right now. And maybe the one that I also need... But she knew uncle Alex for longer than I did so it’s fairer that I should be there for her... But once I'm out, I'll stop by your house to come help you, okay? So I can see you a little bit too, mom. I should finish at 3p.m. today, if my boss doesn't think otherwise, I tell her gently. Though, an unsure point is heard in my voice. We never know with my boss… If he had a bad day, he is capable of giving you two extra hours to do just because he wanted to.

- "You know, your uncle was always there for me. I remember when we were kids…" I frown with sadness to the sound of her voice. It’s broken… She sounds empty. Out of life. "There was this horrible kid terrorizing the youngsters. I was one of those kids being terrorized, but of course, as my big brother, he protected me. He always did. He was really protective, you know?" She recounts me in brief words with a trembling voice. I know the story by heart. Uncle Alex used to tell it to me as a bedtime story. He was the hero of course. I never doubt that… I hear mom sniffling and letting another sob out. "So was he with you, baby. He loved you as his own, you know?", oh… When she said "baby", her voice just completely broke. I could barely hear it. I continue to look down as I feel a lump forming in my throat. I miss Uncle Alex like crazy... "And he did the same when your father left..." She admits to me, going to the topic about how my uncle was protective. Which I already knew as well... It honestly hurts to hear all of this so soon after his tragic death. I still haven’t digested it. It’s still not real to me. I still think I will see him today or tomorrow or the day after tomorrow... But it seems to make mom feel better by saying those words to me, by recounting her memories. So, I'll listen carefully. Or I'll try, at least… If I don't break before too. Her pain is so profound… And shared.

- Mom, you don't have to tell me all of this now. Let some time pass. It's hurting you, I say with a slight pleading tone, hoping she will listen to me. I know it's hard to not think about it or to not want to talk about it. But I just think it's too soon for her. And for me... She can't turn the page in a finger snap. It’s impossible. Even if she feels like she did or she has to do it, it might not be the best way.

- "I love you, MC. You're my baby girl." She says over the phone, sniffling sadly again. I nod even though she doesn't see me. I am staring at the floor, my sight being blurry. Not again...

- I love you so much, mom, I reply to my mother, controlling my voice as much as possible despite the tight ball in my throat. She doesn’t need to know that I’m about to cry too. I hear her sniffling behind the phone call again followed by a new sob. I can't… Look, I have to go, mom, but I'll come see you later today, okay? I'll come with a little surprise, I tell her gently, wanting and feeling the need to cheer her up. I just want my mother to be happy again.

- "A surprise? You know I don't like surprises much, MC.", She replies with a mix between her crying and a faint chuckle before reminding me how she has always hated surprises. I know…

- That's why I'm bringing you one, I answer to my mom, cracking a smile to the sound of her faint chuckle.

- "You're a little Devil, just like your uncle... What's the surprise?" She begins to say before pausing. It's true, I got a little bit of him too. I guess it's because he sort of raised me and because I'm a (l/n) as well.

- Mom, if I tell you there would be no point for me to call it a surprise, wouldn't it? I answer with a gentle and playful tone before giggling. I hear her crying turning into giggles.

- "I tried. Okay, go to work, baby, and... I'll do a few things here... I'll try. Oh, and I ordered the flowers you asked me to pick for your uncle." She responds with another small chuckle before sniffling one more time. I smile a little more, glad to hear that I managed to make her smile a little bit despite the situation. She ordered the flowers… My smile grows a little more, glad about this news.

- Okay, call me if you need me for anything. Doesn't matter if I work or not, okay? I love you, mom, I reply sincerely to my mother, giving her a little cheerful tone.

- "I will. I love you too, baby. See you later.", She says back to me, sounding a little better then when I answered the phone. I smile and wait a few seconds before hanging up. Right… I feel like I have another long day coming… I let a long sigh out, as if I am trying to get rid of a weight on my shoulders, before wiping the tears in my eyes. Well, I've got to get ready...

Almost an hour later, I am on my way to work. Like every day, I see the same streets, the same cars, the same shops, the same streetlights… Of course, I am not going there with an ounce of motivation. I’d rather stay home or go anywhere else, but not there. I’m not saying being a waitress is the worst job, but my boss and some clients are actually really hard to deal with. Anyway…

I rapidly reach the back door of the restaurant I work at and enter the building which leads to the kitchen. The cooks and the waitresses are all here, ready to work. Oh, almost… I hold the door for Angie and she runs in, thanking me at the same time. We exchange a smile and get ready to start working. The clients should start coming soon… It's been three months since my boss decided to expand the restaurant to include a little coffee shop. I think it was a good idea, a good change in Duskwood. It was a test at first to see if people would like it. The clients seemed satisfied so that’s why I am here so early every morning now.

- MC! I look up immediately after hearing a gravelly voice yelling my name. My boss walks briskly towards me, a frown of madness plastered over his face. As usual... What time does my watch indicate? He asks me while showing me his watch on his right wrist. What…?

- 8:01am.? I answer, not sure where this is going.

- You were supposed to be here at 8:00a.m.. Not at 7:59a.m., not at 8:01a.m., but at 8:00a.m.! Is it so hard to understand in your dummy brain? He tells and asks me with madness, actually scolding me for arriving one minute late. As always, he raises his voice while talking, making sure everyone can hear who is commanding here. I guess you see what I meant when I said that I wasn’t very motivated to come to work...

- I'm sorry, boss, I simply say as I don’t want to argue nor lose my job. Well, it’s mainly that I’m not up to an argument right now… I have other things to think about. To worry about.

- Don't. Since you came late, you'll go home late. You're finishing at 6p.m. today, he tells me with a correcting tone, looking down on me. He’s joking, right? 6pm?

- What? You're making me do three extra hours for one minute late? I demand him with disbelief as I’m getting upset.

- And you're not paid for those, he points out seriously, still speaking as loud as before. Not paid?! Better and better...

- Sir, I can’t work extra hours today. I have to go see my mom this afternoon after work. My uncle passed away yesterday and I have to help for the funerals and… I explain to my boss with seriousness, going up against him. I mean, I can be shy and quiet and all, just don’t take me for an idiot or play with me.

- That's not a valuable excuse. Get to work before I change my mind and actually fire you for rebellion, he orders me seriously and sternly. Right… I look down, not responding to not receiving any consequences later. Everyone, back to work! he screams to all of his employees before walking away to do his life. Dick!

- Don't listen to this cold hearted dick, MC, I hear Angie telling me as she comes to stand in front of me. She’s a little taller than me. If you need to leave, then do. I'll cover for you. I knew something wasn't right yesterday but we barely crossed paths so I couldn't ask you what was wrong. I'm really sorry about your uncle, MC, she apologizes sincerely to me as she puts her hand on my shoulder. Angie is one of the only workers I get well along with here. Yeah, nothing goes well in this restaurant… It’s sad because it could have its potential. I smile at my friend while weakly nodding.

- Thanks, Angie, I thank her sincerely as I place my hand on top of hers. She smiles and nods back before the two of us take separated ways to go do our work.

The morning passed pretty quickly to be fair. I prefer when it’s like this. Working and watching the time pass is one of the worst feelings. There were so many clients this morning that I didn’t have time to get bored. It’s actually pretty rare that there are so many people coming in the morning. I mean, it’s still a little buzzy usually but not this much. I hope that will put my boss in a good mood and he’ll kind of forget the late minute thing this morning… Right, even I don’t believe this… I take the plates and cutleries that customers have left to clear the table. I clean it well and let other customers settle in. The noon hour and 1pm are the worst. There is often a line of customers waiting for a table but it goes on pretty well usually. Anyway… It’s time for my break. I put the dirty dish and cutleries in the bassin which is on a cart to later go to the kitchen.

- Hi, I turn around to look at the person who is not so unfamiliar to me, I'm looking for a pretty (h/c) with crazy (e/c) in which you would easily get lost in. Have you seen her around? says and asks me, a man, using a flirtatious and slight playful tone at the same time. I smile and softly laugh while nodding.

- Yeah, I think she went back to the kitchen a little while ago. But I don’t know where she went after, I reply playfully to my friend as I point towards the kitchen. The man softly laughs back before passing his hand in his long hair which isn't in a ponytail or a bun for once. How dare he look so good?

- How are you, Gorgeous? Asks me gently, Phil, as we are facing one another.

- I’m good. I have the same problem as last night, but I’m good. You? I answer with a very faint sigh as I keep a small smile before asking him.

- I'm good, thanks, he responds, having that damn smirk in the corner of his lips. The two of us stare at each other for a little moment, a smile on our face. I can’t really explain why or how, but seeing him here, now, like we said last night, makes me happy. So, is it still on for having lunch together or...? He asks me, a point of nervousness heard in his voice. He isn’t sure of himself which is so rare to see.

- Yes… I begin to tell him before hearing a gravelly voice calling for me.

- MC! I turn around and see my boss approaching us. Oh… No time for talking! Get back to work! He tells me harshly in front of Phil. Oh God… So awkward! I know I have said stories to my friends about my boss, but none of them actually saw the man talking to me that way. And I wish it wouldn’t have been Phil seeing and hearing him talking to me this way. What is he going to think?

- You're seriously letting that dumbass talking to you this way? I hear Phil whispering lowly in my ear. His deep voice echoing in my ear… He sounded like he couldn’t just believe what he just heard. Oh but it’s real, Phil… I live it every day like all the employees here.

- It's almost 1p.m., sir. I'm on my break… I begin to respond to my boss, not forgetting that I actually want to get out of work at 3p.m and not 6p.m. I still have hope… A faint one but, it’s still there.

- Break? He repeats my word with disbelief as he is standing right before my face now. No break for you today. Come on, move! He exclaims, speaking with a mad tone as usual. If I didn’t know him, I would think he actually hate me. Which might be the case… It’s not possible to scream so much on someone without reasons, right? Ugh, is that guy ever happy? Or just calm?

- Hey! I hear Phil’s loud voice coming from behind me before I could say anything to my boss. I slightly widened my eyes in surprise as I didn’t think Phil would say something. She's your employee, not your stooge! You should watch it! He tells him with a warning tone which I’ve never really heard before. The only time I heard him using this tone was when one of his regulars overstepped the line. I look on my left as I see Jessy’s brother standing next to me, slightly getting before me. Oh… He looks so mad.

- And who might you be to talk back to me? Questions, my boss to Phil. Oh no… I glance around us and notice that customers are staring at us, watching the scene. So awkward… Before Phil could do something or say a word, and mostly before it goes too far, I grab discreetly Phil’s wrist. He doesn’t move nor look at me. My boss is still staring at Jessy’s brother. He is not pleased at all...

- Look, sir. She's been working since 8:00a.m., and it's 1p.m. in less than five minutes. You can't take off her lunch break just because you're her boss, it's against the law. But if you think you are above them, maybe we could stop by the police station to see who's right? Responds calmly and politely, Phil, all while still having this warning and serious tone. I’ve always been amazed by how polite he can stay despite the circumstances or the situation. I mean, it’s easy to lose control due to anger, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he fights.

- 30minutes. No more, tells me, my boss, reluctantly giving me a break. Thanks to Phil… I nod positively before he turns around and leaves us at a quick pace. Phil turns around before looking down at me.

- Thanks, but you didn't have to do that, Phil, I thank him with a small shy tone, yet, thankful he actually stepped in for me.

- I did and I wanted to. But honestly, that guy deserved more than just a "talk", he replies with sincerity and seriousness. While talking about my boss, I could hear the madness in his voice. I nod understandingly as I give him a small smile, appreciating it for standing up for me. It’s not every day it happens. Come on, he suddenly tells me with his infectious smile. I don't answer. Instead, my smile grows wider while the two of us walk through the restaurant to reach the outside. Oh, he has a bag! How did I not see it?

[djmarinizelablog]

hi! read your last ask and you said that you took up creative writing classes so you might have a wider knowledge about this but i was wondering when u mentioned different writing styles (like minimalistic, hightened imagery, linear vilennete and all of that) could you maybe explain the difference and what they really mean and maybe examples in our own levihan nation and writers? this might be asking for too much but i was pretty lost and i'd like to know more about all that. however you are def free to ignore this too!

Did you just ask me to write a comprehensive poetics essay, Anon? (I love writing about writing lmao)

Super long post ahead, and I’ll be citing certain fanfics that I’ve read so far and those that I think somehow exemplifies all the different writing styles I mentioned in the previous post. 

First off, the ones I listed beforehand (minimalistic prose, heightened imagery, poetic language, linear narrative, non-linear vignettes) aren’t the only types of writing styles. There are more if you consider the variations of tone (humor/comedy, sentimental, macabre, noir etc), narration/perspective (first person, second person, third person omniscient/limited), and language (dialogue-heavy or action/scene-driven). And the nice thing is that you can actually use of one or two of them in your work---or all of them, if you’re feeling bold. 

As Hange always loves to do: “Let’s experiment!”

--------

I’ll start with minimalistic prose. It is what it is: short, clear, and concise. Think less is more. You have an economy with words where you disregard most adverbs and focus more on the context to make way for meaning, thus allowing the readers to create their own interpretations of your writing. I think the method here is to write your intended draft first, and then cut the unnecessary words to flesh out the scene even more.

Notice how @stereobone wrote this paragraph of Black Dog (an Eruri fic):

Isabel's voice wakes him, brother, brother, has him sitting upright in bed and grabbing for the knife under his mattress. He braces himself for the attack before he realizes there isn't one. There is nothing in the darkness but him and his heavy, panicked breathing. Levi's heart feels like it's trying to beat its way out of his chest. He drops the knife on the mattress and shuts his eyes and tries not to think about Farlan's bloody resigned face before he was eaten. He tries not to think about how he left them. How it's his fault.

It’s very simplistic in language; the paragraph lets you focus on Levi’s innermost thoughts while he deals with an external action (ie, having nightmares). The author hasn’t unraveled the rest of the plot yet, but you already know where the tension is coming from.

Next is heightened imagery. If you’re familiar with the different figures of speech (metaphor, simile, personification, hyperbole, etc), then this is where they all come into play. I think the challenge here is being able to balance it well with the text itself and make sure that the imagery actually clarifies the context of the paragraph instead of convoluting the intended meaning. 

Here’s an excerpt from A Dangerous Game by just_quintessentially_me:

Hanji watched Levi, standing there, head bent and bloodied handkerchief pressed against his arm, and was reminded, irrationally, of a night years ago. When her parents had taken her to the circus. [. . . .] Holding her parent’s hands, she’d gaped, head craned back as she watched the spectacle, a cacophonous mixture of sound and color. At the center of it all, she’d spied a boy. Among the twisting colors and tricks, he alone, was still. [. . . .] The boy was high above, balancing on a platform atop a long pole. In front of him, stretched an audaciously thin rope. Below, no net waited to catch him.

[. . . .]

When Levi looked up, his expression was set - like the boy before the tightrope. And she knew, with sinking certainty, he was going to take the step. Into thin air.

Gray eyes met her gaze and held it.

“Yeah. I’ll go.”

At the door, Kenny smiled.

See how the powerful imagery of the boy on the tightrope was able to fuel the tension in that moment among Levi, Hange, and Kenny? 

I think poetic language is akin to heightened imagery, except that the former is more focused on the actual language. It’s very lyrical, wherein you can actually hear the lulling song of the sentences in a rhythm. One of my favorite works that does this is Deep sea baby by @smallblip. Here she makes use of various setting and scenery to create this entire atmosphere of Levi and Hange’s relationship:

Hanji knows whatever life they've led, this is her favourite.

The one in which her and Levi see the sea for the first time together.

The one in which she’s the Commander, and him, her Captain. And between them, a river of words left unsaid threatening to break the banks.

One day they must cross the ocean, but today they visit the shores again, without the kids this time. And Levi learns why when he watches her peel at her clothes. Her harness comes off first, then her blouse, then everything else, like a little dance for an audience of one. Levi tries not to stare, but he’s already seen her by candlelight in the dead of the night. And yet she never fails to take his breath away.

She makes her way to where the white foams dredge the past up the shores of the present.

"Come on Levi! The water is warm!" she says, and he hears it like a call to come home- where the heavens collide with the sea.

He takes off his clothes and folds them in a neat pile beside Hanji's mess. He swims out to join her.

It’s hauntingly poetic, the way the author is able to connect the metaphor in “a river of words” to the actual body of water right in front of Levi and Hange. Good poetic language is able to tighten up the texts together while keeping the sentence structure flowing with apt figures of speech.

When it comes to narratives, it only comes down to linear or non-linear. See how @lostcauses-noregrets does her opening statement in Trains (also an Eruri fic):

Levi hates trains. To be fair, Levi hates all forms of public transport, but he reserves a particular loathing for trains. They’re dirty, noisy, smelly and worse, filled with people. People who, heaven forbid, might attempt to speak to Levi, engage him in conversation. Levi’s worst nightmare is being stuck on a train with some friendly fuck who wants to pass the time making small talk. Admittedly it’s not a problem he has to deal with too often, his general fuck off demeanour deters all but the most aggressively friendly and hopelessly inebriated. But that doesn’t stop Levi from hating trains.

It’s a short fic and it’s very dependent on the linearity of events happening. But with that banger of a first sentence, the beginning already gives you enough of an idea of Levi’s pet peeve in the story, which in this case, is trains.

Here’s another hot and steamy fic called keep him waiting by keobuns that shows a linear narrative: 

He’s sitting with them in the back of the lab, nursing a cup of tea — it’s still pretty full, and even cold now, for he was far too distracted listening to Hanji talk to properly drink — when he sees it. Hanji’s too preoccupied with overexplaining the same Titan experiment they’ve gone over a hundred times to notice his stare. They just continue on and on and on, gesturing with their hands, pointing with their fingers, flexing their wrists…

Ah. Levi has to bring his teacup to his lips to hide the way his lips tremble. Hanji has incredibly nice hands.

The entire story just revolves around Levi simping for Hange’s hands and how it all goes down from there. But you as a reader are kept wanting more with every paragraph and every sentence that the author constructs (and trust me, it’s not just the sexual tension between Levi and Hange that keeps us going).

Now, as much as I love the straightforwardness of linear prose, non-linear writing brings a different round of ideas onto the table. It can create recollections from flashbacks, heighten the perspective or interior turmoil of a character due to trauma or grief, or even just re-invent what-if scenes that the characters have imagined themselves. 

Gnossiene by @thatalmondgirl​ is one of my all-time favorite Rivetra fics. In this excerpt, you will see how she switches between the past and the present, and how it affects Petra’s POV as a conflicted character:

Contrary to popular belief (fuck Auruo) Petra actually didn’t cry easily.

Alright, she could admit that at some times, she was...emotional. It was far from a weakness, but even she could admit that they sometimes got in the way and walled off all rational thought. Anger, frustration, sadness, hell, even happiness. The only one she could easily compartmentalise away was fear, which probably stemmed from her military career. Even so. It was never easy to separate all the others from her actions, think from a clean slate like the Commander could do, like the captain. [. . . ] Petra groaned, splayed out across her bed. She drew her arm across her eyes, willing the tears to go away. She’d already blown through her tissue box.

“Petra, a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” Mama sat on the end of her bed, with Petra on the floor between her legs. Even though Petra argued firmly that she was old enough to brush her own hair, Mama had insisted. Unfortunately, Petra wasn’t old enough - and probably never would be - to disagree with her mother.

“I know, Mama.” Petra grumbled.

“I don’t think you do. Else you wouldn’t be crying, would you?”

[. . . .]

“But a man shouldn’t complete you when you complete yourself. Maybe he’s an extension to your house. So you’ll be sad if the extension is compromised or burns down. But you still have the main house. And if it’s strong, the main house can still be standing even after the worst storm.”

Aside from Mama’s crazy metaphors that sometimes didn’t make sense, her message hit home. Even if it hit home years later.

See how it switched in between the before and after? 

An off-shoot of non-linear writing are vignettes (a layering of scenes separated by section breaks) wherein this writing style allows writers to curate scenes in terms of fragments, creating some kind of mosaic for the readers once they finally see the big picture. Nakimochiku’s I’m leaving, are you coming with me? stacks up scenes of interactions between Levi and Hange, enough to depict the kind of relationship that they have as young lovers in a school setting. You can string these fragments together, rearrange them in a different order, but in the end, you will still get the author's clear goal of highlighting how Levi and Hange’s relationship develops over time.

Those are the styles that I mentioned in my previous posts, but as I’ve told you, there’s more to writing than those, so I’ll give a short run-through of other methods in writing. 

Whether it’s dialogue-heavy works such as from my window to yours, or action-driven scenes like Carnivores (a Levi x Reader fic by CaptainDegenerate) that propel the story forward, we as readers should be able to follow through the actual storyline that the authors intend to take us. 

A third-person limited (we listen to Hange’s thoughts in Clockwork by @tundrainafrica) vis-à-vis an all-knowing/omniscient narration (the moon is dark by @sayonarasanity alternates the perspective of Levi and Hange) should be able to make us understand why the author chose this particular kind of point-of-view in order to tell the story. 

And lastly, having a solid and consistent tone throughout the work (the macabre of Even Humanity’s Strongest could make mistakes by Rimeko versus the sweet sentimentality of Flowers for You by @fanmoose12) should be able to set the atmosphere that the authors want us to imbibe as we read through their works. 

So there’s your crash course on writing and reading. Enjoy? :) 

[sunarou]

♡Kageyama, Tsukishima, and Osamu when the reader is secretly a really good vball player♡

Requested: Yessir!

Word count: 2k

A/N: This is requested by my lovely mutual @kageyatsu ! She writes for haikyuu and mystic messenger as well and you should totally go check her blog out!~ also I changed some things out for Kageyama if that's okay (´∩｡• ᵕ •｡∩`)

Also also! Sorry if any of these terms sound.. wrong? I don't play vball and I tried to research about it first eek!

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Kageyama Tobio

Being the captain of the girl's volleyball team had its perks, like for one. You and the boy's volleyball team got to go to a volleyball training camp, it was all very exciting for you. You were ready to polish your skills, "Y/N-chan!~ We're here!" Your friend shook you awake, "Oh, thanks Miyu" You said, stepping out of the bus together. "The girl's are staying over there, let's go take a quick break before playing practice matches with the boys.

After stretching, you and the girls walk to the large gym where the boys were playing a practice match with Karasuno. "Y/N-chan! You finally woke up from your nap" Lev says, making Nekoma turn their heads to you. "Oh yeah, I was pretty tired.." You said walking towards the bench, to sit but Kuroo calls out to you. "Y/N! Come play with us! We're missing a player" he said, the other players nodding along.

"Alright I guess," You said, jogging up to the middle, since you were also a middle blocker. "Okay, go serve!" A small gingered hair boy says as he gets into position. Kuroo, serves over the net, a boy with spiky brown hair receives it, making it bounce over to a black haired dude, where he sets to the ginger. After a lot of matches with different people, you've grown to be a lot more alert with their hits and tactics, so when you saw the ginger's arm go up, you go to the spot where you guessed the ball was gonna go, turns out you're right. You bump passed to Kenma who sets it over the court. Most of the Karasuno boys were shocked at how you saw past their tactic, mostly the ginger and black haired, they didn't know someone could actually receive their quick attack at first try.

After a few more fierce back and forth action going, you started noticing a certain black haired boy sneaking glances at you, after the game, resulting in victory. The two teams high fived each other under the net, when you and the raven-haired high fived, you caught his gaze, as his eyes followed you. "Thank you for the game!" You all said synchronized. "U-Uhm Y/N-san!" The same raven haired boy approached you, your heart started beating faster, "I just wanted to say that you were really cool on the court and-" he was cut off with whistles and howls going across the court, he turns back at them, giving them a scary face before turning back to you.

"I'd like to play with you more!" He says, bowing. You were growing flustered by the sudden contact, "O-Of course!" You squeaked out, "Thank you!" He said, "I'm Kageyama, Kageyama Tobio" He says, putting his hand out, "Y/N, L/N Y/N" you shook his hand, the handshake lingered longer than usual. "I uh, gotta go! See you Y/N-san!" He says jogging back to his team, his face clearly red. Volleyball camp just got more interesting..

Tsukishima Kei

"Watch it" Tsukishima says, staring you down, you didn't look up as you were scared to. "S-Sorry!" You meekly said, running around him to go inside the gym. "You got the towels?" The coach asked you, "Yeah.." You said, still flustered by the tall intimidating boy. "You look like you just ran into a ghost, what happened?" The other manager laughed, "I just ran into someone on accident" you laughed it off, sitting beside her. "Y/N!" You hear your friend Bokuto yell out.

What you didn't know was a certain blonde boy was just outside the gym doors, watching the game unfold. "Why am I here?" He tsked, rolling his golden eyes. You got dragged onto the court by Bokuto as he split the team into two to get some practice. "Bring it on!" He yelled, "Bokuto-kun, it's literally middle of the night" you hushed him, "Sorry Y/N" he said, still pumped up. Yamato gives a good serve over the net, "I got it!" You yell, bumping it back to the opposite team.

"She actually hit that..?" Tsukishima said, still leaned against the doors, Akaashi sets Konoha up, he spikes the ball with you quickly moving to the position where the ball was going to hit, the spike was very strong as you counter their attack with passing it to Bokuto, he does his infamous spike and gets your team a point. You turn back, seeing the same tall boy watching you, as you two held eye contact, the both of your froze, "Hey hey Y/N, did you see that?! Oh? Are you okay?" Bokuto pokes your cheek. "I'm fine!" You yell, Bokuto smiles, "Alright then let's get back to the game!" He says, getting back to his position. But when you look back to the door, he was gone.

"I'll play again later!" You wave your hand as you run out the door, "Hey! Where are you going ACK!-" Bokuto yells before getting absolutely WHACKED by the volleyball. You see the blonde boy walking back to the dorms, with headphones on. "Hey! You bean pole!" You yell, but to no avail his music is too loud that he can't hear you. You march over to him, resulting in him halting. "What do you want shortie?" He says, bending over, "Why were you watching?" You asked, "Am I not allowed?" He smirks.

"No! But.. but-" you really didn't know why you ran after him, but your body just told you to. "What? Cat got your tongue" he remarks, "Shut up!" You yell, "Or what?" He said, standing up straight, completely towering over you. "I-I'll, you know what whatever!" You said angrily, walking back to the gym. "It was an interesting scene to watch," he suddenly said, making you stop walking. "Huh?" You turn back to him, "Are you deaf? I said it was interesting to watch, a manager was actually good at volleyball?" He said, turning his head to look at you. "Of course I am! I am Akaashi's sister after all! He taught me everything I know, I'm simply just looking for the right time to join the club" you say.

"I see," he mumbled, as he starts to walk away, "Hey! Is that all you've got to say?!" You said, your body now fully turned to him. "What? You wanted me to say 'good job!'" he asks, "N-No.. but I didn't want to hear just a I see" you said, Tsukishima sighs, "You're quite the silly kind huh? Fine, good job, you did great out there" he sarcastically said, but inside he meant it. "If you may, I'll be going back to my dorm" he said walking away. "What's your name?!" You yell out, "Tsukishima Kei" he simply said as you said yours, after that he pops his headphones back on and leaves.

"What an intriguing guy.." you tell yourself, "What are you doing out here by yourself?" Your brother suddenly pops up behind you making you scream.

Osamu Miya

"Huh weird.." He said to his twin brother, "What's up samu?" Atsumu said, following his brother's gaze. He was looking at the other team's manager, "You checkin' her out aren't ya?" He nudged Osamu's arm, "As if, it's just weird that they're letting their manager play." He said taking a sip of his water, "Are ya dumb? Their team takes managers that actually have some knowledge about volley ball" Atsumu said, sticking his tongue out at the end of his sentence.

"I know that much," Osamu rolls his eyes, wiping his sweat off his forehead, the same stoic face kept looking at you while you worked on your sets. You were setting to Oikawa, "Great toss Y/N-chan~" He said patting your head, "Alright, let's play?" Oikawa asked their coach as the whistle was blew the two teams began with Oikawa's grand serve. Akagi just barely receives it, bumping it to their setter, Atsumu. He sets it up to their ace, where spikes it but gets blocked by your blockers, making the ball bounce back to their side.

Their Libero bumps the ball back to your side, you started running up, getting ready to do a cross court shot, Yahaba sets you up, lining up perfectly into a vacant spot on their side of the court. Putting all your power in the spike, the ball flew straight into the floor, as the other Inarizaki members felt wind when the ball flew past them. They stood still for a while as you just got your team the first point.

"She's quite interesting eh?" Atsumu pats Osamu's shoulder, "Yeah, quite.." he said, getting his head back to the game, trying not to get even more distracted by you. "That's our Y/N!" Oikawa says as he high fives you.

Getting back to the game, the other team more weary and alert, as the practice match ends in Aoba Johsai's victory. "Great win guys!" You say as they give you a big team hug, you look back as you felt someone stating at you, you saw a grey haired guy, his grey eyes bore into yours. Even though you've caught him, he still didn't look away, he only did look away, was when his team called him.

"Something the matter?" Oikawa asked, slinging his arm around your shoulder, "Nah, just someone was staring at me" You smiled at him, "Someone's got a crushie on you?" He laughed, "Ugh quit it" you said playfully pushing him away. "Okay okay, I'll help you out" he said, putting his hand up to defend himself. "Who was the one that has a staring problem?" He said looking over to Inarizaki, "The grey haired guy" you said, "Oh the other twin, don't worry I'll go over there and beat him up for you" He said already marching over to the team, "Hey hey!" You said halting him, "I'm just kidding, you go over there then" Oikawa said pushing you all the way to the team, "Y.. you just n-need a little.. push!" He had trouble speaking as you were resisting.

"S-Stop Oikawa!" You tried leaving but the team was already looking at you, "Do you need anything?" A blonde muscular guy towers over you, looking quite intimidating, his twin brother standing right beside him. "N-No..?" You weakly said, Oikawa already gone from your sight, you were surely gonna give him a beating later. "I..I gotta go!" You said, as you turned someone grabbed your wrist. You quickly look back seeing his grey eyes again, "Don't go so fast, we're just getting to know each other" He said, his expression not changing. "U-Uhm, sure.." you said, relaxing your wrist.

"What's yer name cutie?" His blonde brother asked, "Y/N, L/N Y/N.." you answered, refusing to meet their eyes. "Cute name, My name's Atsumu, Atsumu Miya" he said, smiling. "Osamu, Osamu Miya" Osamu said after, "Great to meet you guys, it was a good game" you managed to say without stuttering. "Yeah it was, didn't know their manager was so good at volleyball as well," Osamu says, "Thanks, you guys were good too" then there was a silence. "Ugh! If you want her number just ask her straight up Samu!" Atsumu bursted, Osamu jabbed his side, you gaped at the two as they start arguing. "If you want my number here.." you said, taking a pen out, and taking Osamu's hand to write your digits out.

"See? Wasn't that so easy?" Atsumu laughed, "Shut up" Osamu replies, as he looks at his hand, "Thanks, hope we can get to know each other more" He says as he gives you a small smile, it was a very brief smile but you'd do anything to see it again. "I'll see you around Y/N-chan~" Atsumu waved as he left. "See you, Y/N" Osamu patted your head, leaving with Atsumu. "Oi! Did it work?!" Oikawa yelled all across the court. You angrily charge at him, as he starts running away from you, "Come back here you little shit!" You said chasing after him.

I'm deprived of Osamu gifs T^T

Tagged: @fitriiaw

~Love Lola 🦋

[d-noona]

MAKE OVER

Chapter 8: Saturday Night

Jung Hoseok x Reader

Reader as Kang Hyeonji

SUMMARY: When Kang Hyeonji transformed herself into a striking redhead, the entire male population of Seoul stood up and took notice. But her make over was for Jung Hoseok’s benefit alone. He began to show interest in the new look but not in the way she wanted. Suddenly he was over-protective, perhaps a little jealous. It seemed that the idea of having a relationship with her couldn’t be further from his mind. The girl however wants more. So it was time for an ultimatum. If Hoseok didn’t want Hyeonji to lose her virginity to another admirer, he had no option but to make love to her himself.

Hyeonji could not concentrate on her work. How could she, with Choon Hee besieging her with suggestions from the moment she arrived at work on Monday morning and spied the newly made-over Hyeonji.

Choon Hee's main advice was directed at Hyeonji's choice of clothing for the big night. The trouble was, she changed her mind every day. On Monday she insisted Hyeonji buy black. Lace, preferably. Black lace was so-o-o sexy!

Hyeonji didn't think she could carry off black lace and told Choon Hee as much. So on Tuesday Han Byeol came to the office and butted heads with Choon Hee, they now moved into getting Hyeonji a red satin...before they realised red would clash horribly with Hyeonji's new hair color.

From Wednesday to Friday the girls went through every possible color in the rainbow, plus every possible style from strapless and sexy to tight and slinky, then finally to white and virginal.

This last, desperate idea was an attempt at reverse psychology, since Tinashe would never dress in such fashion. Hyeonji was glad to leave work on Friday afternoon, having informed her avid friends thay she would simply buy something that suited and flattered her. Choon Hee had pulled a face before pressing the solemn promise from Hyeonji that she would finally wear the perfume she and Han Byeol got for her on her birthday.

"And buy yourself some drop earrings," had been Han Byeol's last hurrah. "I was watching this body language expert on television the other day and he said dangling earrings projected highly sexual messages on some subtly primitive basis. Apparently there's this tribe in Africa where women stretch their earlobes with heavy rings and weights. The ones with the longest earlobes are considered the sexiest, so the longer the earrings the better."

Choon Hee laughed out loud yet nodded to have Hyeonji wear some drop earrings for more appeal. Hyeonji had sighed and agreed to wear long, dangling earrings as well as the perfume.

Saturday dawned slightly overcast but the sun came out during Hyeonji's short train trip up to the shopping center. The forecast that morning had predicted twenty-eight degrees, average for their small little town in March. Fortunately, the humidity was low so Hyeonji would mot have to worry about perspiration ruining whatever dress she bought.

She arrived just as the shops opened, her mother's gift of five hundred and forty-five dollars tucked safely in her purse. Four hours later her mission was finally accomplished, and her purse was pretty empty. Hyeonji could hardly contain her excitement on the train ride home, hugging the parcels on her lap.

She would never have thought she could look so good, or sexy. Of course, it was to be seen what Hoseok would think of her, but she could never reproach herself for not pulling out all the stops. She hurried home from the station, puffing a little as she struggled up hill with her bags. It was one thirty and Hoseok's car was nowhere in sight. His mother was, though, Mrs Jung waving from where she was attending to her pot-plants on the front porch.

"Been shopping for tonight dear?" She called out, her smile bright just like her son. Hyeonji was grateful to stop for a minute. "Yes, Mrs Jung. I've been very extravagant," she confessed rather breathlessly. "New dress. New shoes. New everything, actually."

"Oh you must come in and show me. I'd love to see them," says Mrs Jung. Hyeonji hesitated, then glanced back down the hill. She didn't want to be caught by Hoseok coming home. She didn't want him to see her today until she was ready.

"Don't worry," Mrs Jung said "Hobi's not due. He has to work all day today. He just rang to say he'd get ready down and arrive straight to your place. Come in. You can have a cool drink while you're at it. You look hot."

Hyeonji was hot, but it wan't from the shopping. Suddenly, tonight was all too real. It was also her last chance. If nothing came tonight with Hoseok then she would give up all hope. Total failure was less than a few hours away.

"What lovely dress!" Mrs Jung exclaimed when Hyeonji drew the silk bit of nothing out of the bag. Mrs Jung held up the clothing "Oh yes, that's just the thing." She chuckled delightedly.

"You're certainly going to make that boy of mine sit up and take notice in that dress, aren't you my dear?" Hyeonji's eyes rounded at Hoseok's mother, who gave her a softly knowing smile in return. "You think I haven't guessed all these years that you're in love with my son?"

"I...I..."

"You don't have to say a thing. Just listen. Hoseok does not love Tinashe. She is, however, a beautiful and clever girl who panders to his not inconsiderable ego and knows exactly how to handle him." Hyeonji was all ears as Hoseok's mother went on. She'd been riveted from the moment Mrs Jung had said Hoseok didn't love Tinashe.

"I know my son very well, Hyeonji. I know his strengths and weaknesses. Basically, he is a good, kind, loving boy, but he has an obsessive workaholic personality with a one-track mind. I'm sure you've seen evidence of this yourself. I used to have to set an alarm clock next to his computer to get him to school reasonably on time. When he becomes absorbed in a project nothing can distract him, not even his male needs, which I might add are as strong as any other normal red-blooded man's."

This wasn't any news to Hyeonji. She'd seen the trail of girlfriends, all of them not exactly the types you just talked to on a date.

"You think Hoseok has only ever been attracted to the most beautiful girls," his mother went on. "That he's like a moth drawn only to the brightest of flames."

"Well, his girlfriends have all been stunners, Mrs Jung." Hyeonji pointed out.

"True. So I suppose if I said it was their personalities which won him you would be sceptical?" Mrs Jung chuckled.

Hyeonji laughed.

"I understand your cynicism. Nevertheless, what I am saying is true. The only girls who've attracted Hobi have been the ones who had enough confidence in themselves to break through his absent-minded nature and force him to notice them. I have no doubt most of them approached him first, made none too subtle passes and flirted with him outrageously in order to win him away from his other, all-consuming passion."

"Naturally, the only girls who have such a degree of confidence are usually very beautiful ones which gives them that added edge. Once they have Hoseok's attention, they have the equipment to ensnare his sexual desire as well. Even so, he usually tires of them rather quickly. Either that or they themselves become frustrated with his tendency to forget dates, and they leave the relationship of their own accord."

Hyeonji intensely listening and nodding to every word Mrs Jung had to tell her, felt like having a fairy god mother by her side.

"Tinashe, however, has hung in there. I think she must be very good in bed. I also think she knows Hoseok's net worth and wants to hitch her wagon to a star. I suspect this so-called trial separation is suppose to frustrate Hoseok enough for him to agree to marry her. I don't know if it will work. I sincerely hope not, because she does not love my son and it will make him miserable in the end. He doesn't believe in divorce, you see. Hoseok needs someone who truly loves and understands him. In short , Hyeonji, he needs you."

Hyeonji was speechless.

"You have the perfect opportunity to put a spanner in Tinashe's work tonight, my dear," Mrs Jung continued in a conspiratorial voice. "But you must be bold. And daring. Make him notice you, in more ways than one. Flirt with him. Let him know you want him. You do want him don't you?"

All Hyeonji could do was nod.

"Then go after him, with as much cunning and ruthless as Tinashe did. In short SEDUCE him."

Seduce him?

Hyeonji went home with those daunting words ringing in her ears. How did an inexperienced virgin seduce a man like Jung Hoseok? According to his own mother, he'd had coubtless sexy, beautiful women do just that and do it superbly! What chance did she, Kang Hyeonji, have?

Made-over she might be, but that was only a skin-deep transformation. Inside, she was still a quiet, reserved kind of girl. Basically, she was not bold. Or daring.

Okay, so she'd spoken up for herself a few times recently, but only in private and with people she knew well. The thought of openly flirting with Hobi in a very public place at a well-attended formal dinner sent frenetic butterflies fluttering around in her stomach.

At six-thirty she still found those butterflies still in full flight. Yet her reflection in the dressing-table mirror went some way boosting that confidence Hoseok's mother had insisted she find. Outrageously long, the green crystal drops hung nearly to her shoulders, swaying seductively whenever she moved. They've been worth every cent of the fifty dollars they'd cost.

"Oh Hyeonji, you look gorgeous."

Hyeonji swung around at her mother's voice, the A-line skirt of her dark green silk dress flaring out before settling into more discreet folds against her thighs. Not that a skirt that short could ever be discreet. It ended a good five inches above her knees. When combined with the four-inch heels of her strappy, bronze-colored Jimmy Choo's shoes she looked all leg.

"Do you think so, Mom?" Hyeonji was desperate of reassurance, her own eyes not to be trusted. Zil's admiring gaze traveled from her daughter's shimmering hair, down to her perfectly made-up face, past the flamboyant earrings and finally to the little sexy dress which showed off Hyeonji's recently reshaped curves to perfection.

The low, scooped neckline hinted at a very adequate and perfectly natural cleavage, the tight bodice nipped-in waistline showing that Hyeonji could rival Scarlett Johanssen in the hourglass figure department, and with out the help of a corset.

"Turn around," her mother said. "Let me see the back again."

Hyeonji did so a little tentatively. She knew the lace-up back was daring, exposing a deep section of creamy flesh right down her back to her waist. This was part of the style of course, but it precluded the wearing of bra, even a strapless one. The only underwear Hyeonji had on, in fact, was an expensive set of lace silk panties.

Hyeonji turned back to find her mother frowning slightly. "What's wrong?" She asked, panicking. "Do you think the neckline is too bare? Should I wear a necklace instead of these earrings?"

Zil smiled reassuringly. "Not at all. Those earrings are perfect. No. I was just hoping everything turns out right for you tonight."

Hyeonji scooped in a steadying breath. "I do too..."

Zil came forward to take her daughter's hands in hers. "Whatever happens, you look absolutely beautiful."

"Thank you Mom." Hyeonji smiled at her mother fondly.

"You smell lovely too. What's that perfume you're wearing?" Zil tilts her head in curiosity. "It's the one Choon Hee and Han Byeol have me for my birthday. It's called....SEDUCTRESS."

Zil's eyebrows shot up. Mother and daughter looked at each other, then laughed. "Let's hope it has a secret ingredient," Hyeonji said, shaking her head ruefully, "because I think I'm going to need it."

"You'll do fine my love. Just be your sweet lovely self and Hoseok will be enchanted." Now Hyeonji felt confused. She had Hoseok's mother telling her to be a vamp, her own advising the natural approach she had an awful feeling neither would work. The only time she'd had a real response from Hobi was when he'd been jealous of Mr X.

Maybe that was the way to go. Mr X had been very useful so far...Hyeonji had been speculating on how shw could use Mr X to further advantage tonight when the doorbell rang. Her stomach immediately crampedm oh, dear heaven.

"That will be Hoseok," her mother whispered. "I won't come to the door. Say I'm in the bath or something. If he has those papers for me, just put them on the hall table. Oh and don't worry about how late ypu get home. I won't. In fact i won't worry too much if you don't come home at all."

Hyeonji's hazel brown eyes rounded at this amazingly broad-minded mother she'd suddenly acquired. "Mum," she said. "I'm shocked but I love you for being so understabding. Still, I think you'll find I'll be home soon after midnight like a good little Cinderella."

"I don't know about that," Zil said wryly with another glance at her striking-looking daughter. "Now off you go," she added when the doorbell rang the second time.

Hyeonji picked up the bronze clutch purse which matched her shoes and made her way carefully downstairs, taking her time lest she trip over in her new high heels. Be confident, she kept telling herself as she approached the front door. And bold. And daring.

Schooling her face into a cool smile, she swung open the door, prepare to accept Hoseok's surprised admiration as though it were the most natural thing in the world. Unfortunately, she hadn't prepared herself for being confronted with Hoseok standing there looking blistering handsome in a superbly tailored black dinner suit.

Most men looked good when dressed in a tux.

Hoseok however was breath taking.

She stood there in speechless admiration of his beauty and missed his initial reaction to her own appearance by the time she recovered sufficiently to look into his eyes he was shaking his head at her with a mildly rueful reproach.

"I can see this is going to be a long and difficult night."

Hyeonji was taken aback. Did he like the way she looked or not? "What do you mean?"

"You know very well what I meant you minx, my God, are you wearing any underwear at all under that excuse of a dress?" Hoseok says.

Hyeonji blushed and bristled at the same time "I'm only following your suggestions. You told me you don't like women who wear pants."

His shocked brown eyes zoomed to where the hem of her skirt ended at mid-thigh. Hyeonji rolled her own eyes. "That's not what I meant. I do have pantyhose on with built in panties," she said dryly. "I was talking about my wearing a dress and not pants suit."

"Oh, that's a dress you're almost wearing, is it? I thought it was a left-over from a lingerie party." Hoseok added furiously.

"Very funny. Truly, Hobi, you're acting like some over-protective big brother, though I don't know why. You never have before." Hyeonji getting all frustrated as Hoseok answers back. "Well you've never looked like THIS before."

"Is that a compliment or an insult?" She replied. "It could be a damned problem." Says Hoseok.

"I don't see how," she said airily. But she wasn't as thick as she was making out, and the reality of Hoseok's brooding reactions thrilled her to bits. He was perturbed by how she looked. And really jealous of any other man she might attract tonight.

His own mother's words popped into her mind. "Go after him, with as much cunning and ruthless as Tinashe did..."

"So," Hyeonji went on, twirling around and mercilessly pretending she had no idea of the effect the back of the dress would have on him. "Will I knock 'em dead at dinner?"

"I don't know about the others," he growled, grabbing her wrist to stop her from twirling around again "but I'm in my grave already."

She feigned a flustered frown. "But I'm not talking about you, Hobi. I was thinking of all those successful and possibly available businessmen at this dinner night."

Hoseok glared at her. "So that's why you changed your mind about partnering me tonight? Because you want to parade yourself for other men's eyes, like you're in some kind of meat market?"

"Well...I wouldn't put it quite crudely. And I'm really only interested in ONE man's eyes." Hyeonji only meant she wasn't the sort of girl who played the field, but immediately Hoseok took it the wrong way.

"One man?" He frowned, then scowled. "Oh my God. Don't tell me your infernal Mr X is going to be in this bloody dinner tonight!" He bit out.

Hyeonji tried not to color guiltily, but failed. For the first, the use of Mr X had backfired on her. "Damn it Hyeonji!" Hoseok exploded. "You should have told me."

"Why? Would you have refused to take me if I'd said he was going to be there?" She asked, even while her mind raced Mr X simply had to be disposed of once and for all, she decided he'd been very useful up till now, but suddenly he was beginning to get in the way.

Hoseok opened his mouth to say something, then snapped it shut again. "It's and irrelevant question anyway," Hyeonji went on swiftly. "Because Mr X is NOT going to be there. Mr X has been wiped from the planet from this moment onward. I've decided to take your advice Hobi, and move on. This is me moving on. Now, do you think WE might move on and get going? Or do you want to be late and make a grand entrance?"

"With moving-on-Hyeonji by my side?" He mocked. "Heck, no. I'd prefer to slink in the back door."

"There's no pleasing you tonight, is there?" She snapped as she stepped outside and banged the door shut behind her. "I only did everything you told me to do. I happen to think I look very nice."

Hoseok gripped her nearest elbow and began urging her along the path. It set her crystal earrings swinging, along with her unfettered breasts. She kept her eyes straight ahead but had a feeling Hobi was staring daggers at her highly mobile bust. She hadn't realized till that moment what substantial movement did to bra less breasts. Ones of her size, that was.

"Nice is a very ineffectual word to describe how you look tonight" Hoseok muttered. Hyeonji extracted her arm from his grip once they reached the passenger door of his car. "So how would you describe how I look?" She challenged.

His brown eyes blazed as he yanked open the door and waved her inside. Not a word passed his lips while she lowered herself into the seat, but his eyes spoke volumes when they dropped to take note of the way her skirt rode up dangerously high when she sat down.

"Provocative" he snarled at last, then banged the door shut.

"Good" she snapped back, once he'd settle himself behind the wheel. "That's exactly the look i was looking for tonight."

Hyeonji dropped her purse into her lap, noting with some dismay that the smallish bag covered almost half of the minuscule skirt. Had she gone too far with the dress? She wanted to attract Hoseok, not revolt him. She'd had no idea he could be such a prude. He certainly wasn't around Tinashe. Good God, some of the gear that girl wore was downright disgusting.

Still...at least she did have his attention that was something. Pulling the seat belt out, she was in the process of buckling herself into place when Hoseok's hand shot out and gripped her chin she gasped when he wrenched her face around this way, then gasped again when his mouth was suddenly covering hers.

His lips pressed down hard, insistent in their demand for surrender she yielded more from shock than any immediate passion. Her lips fell apart again his tongue plunged deep into her mouth. Her whimpering moan seemed to snap him back to the reality pf his quite savage kiss, for his head whipped back abruptly, his eyes widening. She just stared at him, the back of her left hand coming up to cover her still stunned mouth.

He groaned and shook his head, clearly appalled at himself. "I'm sorry Hyeonji. I don't know what got into me." Hyeonji didn't believe him. He knew darned well why he'd done what he'd done. By adopting ignorance of his very male actions he was throwing the ball in her court. How she acted now would set the tone for the whole evening.

Her hand trembling slightly, she removed it from her mouth and reached out towards him, letting it come to a shaky rest against his cheek. She twisted and leaned towards him till her mouth was only inches away from his. "I'm not," she whispered, and made the momentous decision to close those inches.

His shock was even greater than hers had been. For a few excruciating moments his mouth froze under kiss. Hyeonji hesitated herself. Good God, if he wrenched his mouth away, what would she do? Impossible to laugh it off. She would utterly be crushed.

Don't be tentative, came the voice of desperation. Be bold! Be daring!

She lifted her mouth from his and smiled. "What's the matter, Hobi? Haven't you been kissed back by a girl before?"

He didn't say a word, just kept staring at her as if she were a stranger. Sighing, she dropped her hand away from his face and settled herself back in the passenger seat. If nothing else, she'd taken the initiative and salvaged her pride.

"It's not that," he growled as he fired the engine. "Let's be honest, Hyeonji. It's not me you really want to be kissing anyway is it? Look I won't say you're not a temptation, looking as you look tonight. But might I also remind you that I'm supposed to be getting back with my girlfriend tomorrow? I don't like complications in my life, and if I don't watch you might become a complication. So let's just keep our old status quo going, if you don't mind. We're good friends. Nothing more. I'm sorry I kissed you just now. I promise you it won't happen again."

Hyeonji bit her bottom lip and turned her face away to stare through the passenger window. Her immediate response to Hoseok's words was to sink back into herself and oblivion. Underneath, she'd expected failure, hadn't she? Game, set and match to Tinashe.

But is seemed her new appearance had imbued her with more confidence in herself that she would ever have believed. Or maybe it was everyone else's confidence in her. Whatever, her mind gradually turned more positive, clinging to the fact that Hoseok hadn't mentioned Tinashe as his first excuse for backing away. His initial withdrawal had been because he thought she didn't really want to be kissing him. He mistakenly thought he was just a substitute for Mr X.

Hyeonji's frustration was acute. She heartily wished she'd never invented Hoseok's mysterious alter ego. She toyed with telling Hoseok the truth during the tensely silent drive down to the event. That he was Mr X, that she was crazy about him and would do anything for him.

But by the time Hoseok turned into the club car park ten short minutes later she'd abandoned that idea. It smacked too much desperation and would send any man running the opposite direction. No, her mission tonight was to seduce Hoseok, not openly declare her undying devotion.

Tomorrow several hours away and she aimed to make the most of them. Now, what worked best for her this past week or so?

Jealousy...

Not over Mr X this time, she decided. Over some other man. Hyeonji hoped and prayed there would be a suitable candidate at this dinner tonight, and that he would find her as provocative as Hoseok had...

Chapter 09

Masterlist