#i’ve seen so many people calling him a deadbeat dad and stuff and like?? yeah he wasn’t perfect OBVIOUSLY

[pufffinn]

nobody understands garmadon like i do. sorry that’s just the truth

[momsopposed2theoccult]

Not Alone

So I wrote a thing. It’s Tokka-ish but could be interpreted as romantic or platonic. I’m currently waiting on an Ao3 invite so I’ll probably post it on there as well once I receive my invite, but for now I figured I would post it on here because I’m excited to share it with you all! Oh and here’s a friendly reminder that Post Plus is bullshit and you will never, ever have to pay to read my writing. Writing is something I do for fun, and I post it on Tumblr because I want other people who love these characters as much as I do to be able to share that experience with me. Not to mention that I’m not looking to get sued by Nickelodeon.

The first time that Sokka noticed there was something wrong with Toph, she had been six months pregnant. 

The two of them were lounging around her living room, Sokka stretched out across the couch with his left arm dangling off the side and Toph relaxing in an oversized armchair, her swollen feet perched on the ottoman in front of her and one hand resting on her rounded stomach. It was an unusually hot summer’s day, and the two old friends had happily retreated into the sweet relief of Toph’s newly installed air conditioning.

“Sokka, do you think I’ll be an okay mother?”

Sokka was taken aback by his friend’s blunt question. 

“Well, just as long as you pay better attention to the kid than you did to Appa, I think you’ll be golden,” he joked, reflecting back briefly on the memory from their war days. 

The then-tiny girl had tried with all her might to prevent Wan Shi Tong’s library from collapsing under the weight of Sokka’s own impulsive curiosity, all while trying to rescue their beloved sky bison from his captors. He would never forget the look on her face after it happened, nor would he forget the months she spent perfecting her sandbending afterwards, determined that she would never make such a mistake again.

Perhaps that had been the wrong thing to say.

Toph’s eyebrows scrunched together in a look of concern as she rubbed absentminded circles on the curve of her stomach with a flat palm.

“Sokka, I’m serious. Do you think I’ll be an okay mother?,” she repeated, some anxiety creeping into her voice. 

“Well, yeah. Sure. Why wouldn’t you be?,” Sokka replied, although he couldn’t ignore the uncertainty in his own voice as he attempted to soothe his best friend’s anxieties surrounding the tiny life growing inside of her. 

Toph exhibited many admirable qualities, but she wasn’t exactly nurturing. He couldn’t help but recall all the plants she had failed to keep alive over the years, or the way Katara was constantly scolding her for swearing in front of Bumi and Kya, or the way she tensed up around babies, as if she were afraid she might break them. 

Toph sighed, blowing her sweaty bangs out of her face.

“I don’t know, I’m just… not great with babies. I never know what to do with them, y’know? They’re just so tiny, I always feel like I’m gonna break them in half or something equally barbaric.” 

“No, no, I’m sure you won’t-,” Sokka began to reply, but Toph had not yet finished lamenting.

“And most kids get to have their dad there, but, y’know, any hope this kid has of ever meeting that lousy excuse for a man is long gone,” she huffed angrily. 

“Daddy’s an asshole, isn’t he! Just a big ‘ole deadbeat loser!,” she said in a mocking babyish tone, giving her swollen belly a little pat.

Sokka rolled his eyes at his friend’s dramatics, but he couldn’t help agreeing. 

The guy’s name was Kanto. He had been a bartender at one of Sokka and Toph’s mutual favourite dives, and an okay enough guy depending on who you asked, but as far as Sokka was concerned, he was the scum of Toph’s beloved earth. 

The two of them had been getting a drink together like they always did on Friday nights, when Toph had caught the bartender’s eye. And honestly, Sokka couldn’t blame him. He certainly couldn’t deny that she was no longer the grubby twelve year old he had met all those years ago. He wasn’t going to pretend like he didn’t notice the curve of her hips or the way her tank top rode up her waist exposing a sliver of stomach. And he couldn’t ignore the way that other men checked her out nor how weird he felt about it when they did. Kanto had been one of those men. After a round of free drinks and a disgusting amount of quite frankly obnoxious eyebrow waggling, Kanto had somehow convinced Toph to come home with him, much to Sokka’s disdain. The rest was history. 

The two of them had been an item for a couple of months. Toph claimed that she was happy with him, but Sokka didn’t need his friend’s talents as a human polygraph machine to figure out that she was lying. 

He wasn’t all bad, he really wasn’t. He never laid a hand on her or anything like that. But Sokka couldn’t help noticing the subtle comments he made about her weight or her outfit or how she spoke just a little louder than he thought a woman should, nor could he miss all the changes she made to her beautiful, wonderful, perfect self just to fit his mold. 

Sokka hated that Toph’s signature confidence could crumble so easily under the will of a man like that. It made his blood boil. 

Toph began to fall apart when he finally left. Then when she found out that she was pregnant, she broke, and Sokka had been there to help pick up the pieces. 

So yeah, not exactly Sokka’s favourite guy. 

“You know you don’t need him, right?” He assured her.

“Yeah, yeah. I know,” she replied, brushing him off with a faint smile that she didn’t quite put her heart into. 

Picking up on his friend’s feeble attempt to mask her obvious worry, Sokka got up from the couch and walked over to where Toph was sitting. He placed one hand firmly in hers and the other gingerly on her stomach.

“Toph, you’re the strongest person I know. Believe me when I say that if anybody can do this on their own, you can. But you won’t have to do it alone, because I’m going to be here for you every step of the way. Do you understand me?” He assured her. 

She nodded in reply. 

“Yeah, I understand. And thank you.”

But he could tell she didn’t really believe it. 

____________

The second time that Sokka noticed something was wrong with Toph had been two weeks after Lin’s birth. Four old friends had gathered on Air Temple Island for a belated celebration of the new mother and child. Aang had cooked noodles, one of Toph’s favourites, but Sokka couldn’t help noticing that the latter had hardly touched hers.

“What’s wrong, Toph? Normally you gobble this stuff up in under five minutes,” Aang asked, voicing Sokka’s thoughts exactly.

The earthbender continued to absentmindedly twirl a piece of noodle around her chopstick, never bringing it to her mouth. 

“I’m fine. Just not that hungry,” she assured them. 

Sokka caught Aang’s eye and they shared a skeptical look. Katara looked at Toph with concern and a vague familiarity, as if something had suddenly dawned on her.

“You know, if something’s bothering you, you can always talk to us about it, right? I know that this is a new experience for you, and I understand if you’re feeling a little lost-,” Katara started, but was cut off by her friend’s inevitable defensive reaction. 

“Oh, so you think this has to do with Lin? You think there’s something wrong with me? You think I’m not fit to be a mother? Well guess what? Lin and I are doing just fine on our own!,” Toph yelled in response to her friend’s gentle attempt to help her. 

“Toph, I don’t think that’s what she meant. What she was trying to say is that being a new parent is stressful enough as it is, and I can’t imagine having to do it alone. We’re here for you if you need our help or advice,” Aang tried to reason with his angry friend, but to no avail. 

“You know what, Aang? You can take your ‘advice’ and shove it up your ass. I don’t need your help, I don’t need anybody’s help. I’m a great mother!,” she shot back in response. 

Sokka sighed. There was no reasoning with Toph when she got like this. Her fits of defensiveness and anger usually masked deeper fears and insecurities that could be difficult, nearing impossible to coax out of her at first. It was usually best to give her time to herself to blow off some steam, and only then could she be convinced to admit the truth about what was bothering her. 

“I’m gonna go take a nap. That is, unless Sokka here has some unsolicited advice for me too,” she voiced in a warning tone implying that if Sokka did happen to have any comments to make, he better keep his mouth shut about them. 

Sokka threw up his hands defensively. 

“No, no, by all means, go take a nap.”

“Great, at least one of my friends doesn’t fancy himself a shrink.”

Toph stormed off in a huff to the guest bedroom, and although her fit of anger concerned him, Sokka was glad to see her getting some much-needed rest. The dark circles under her clouded eyes implying sleepless nights as of late hadn’t escaped him. 

“What was that all about?,” Aang wondered aloud. “I’ve never seen her get that angry over nothing. We were just asking if she was okay.”

“I dunno. She hasn’t really been herself recently, has she?,” Sokka replied. 

“I mean, she called me Aang. Just Aang. She only does that when she’s really upset.”

“Well, it is your name,” Sokka reminded him, although he too couldn’t help noting with concern that Toph had neglected to make use of her favourite choice nickname for their airbending friend. 

“You know, right after I had Bumi I didn’t feel like myself either,” Katara shared. “It was like, before that moment, all I had to take care of was me. But then all of a sudden there was this tiny little human being who relied on me to survive, and I wasn’t sure if I could do it. I felt like my heart was walking around outside my body, and if I made even the slightest mistake I would destroy it forever. I doubted myself a lot. Everything was just so new and overwhelming, and some days I didn’t even want to get out of bed.” 

“So you’re saying that you’re pretty sure that’s how Toph feels about Lin?,” Sokka asked tentatively as realization dawned on him. 

Katara nodded. 

“I do. Sokka, I think you should be the one to talk to her. She always listens to you. I’m not sure how you do it,” Katara remarked. 

Sokka couldn’t deny the truth of the statement. In their twenty years of friendship, he and Toph had sought comfort in each other’s presence countless times. They had a mutual understanding that the other members of their group had often tried to imitate but could never quite replicate. Sokka went to Toph, and Toph went to Sokka. It was an unspoken agreement. 

“Don’t worry, I will. I just think we should give her a little time to cool down first.”

“Good idea. You don’t want her to bite your head off,” Aang chimed in with a laugh. 

____________

About an hour later, Sokka made the journey down the hallway to the guest bedroom to check on Toph and hopefully coax her out of her mood. He opened up the door to find the room dark and Toph laying on her side on the bed. She was trying to feign sleep, but Sokka could tell she was wide awake. Baby Lin was in her crib whimpering, supposedly for her mother. Sokka picked her up in his arms and rocked her back and forth, cooing softly. 

“Here we go, Linny. It’s okay, Uncle Sokka is here.”

The child began to cry. She didn’t want her uncle, she wanted her mom. 

“No, no Linny, don’t cry. Shhhh, Mama’s right here, see?”

Sokka carried Lin over to the bed where Toph was lying and tried to shake her awake, but was met with Toph’s hand slapping him away and an irritated growl.

“Go away, Sokka.”

“Toph, I just wanna talk,” he tried.

“Don’t you understand the meaning of ‘go away,’ dumbass?” She snarked.

“You’re really going to swear in front of the baby?”

“Great. Now you think I’m a terrible mother too. It’s fine, join the party,” she said in a sarcastic, vaguely accusatory tone, followed by her best attempt at rolling her sightless eyes. 

“Toph, nobody is calling you a bad mother. We know you’re perfectly capable of raising Lin on your own. All we’re asking is that you let us help you. You’re not invincible, Toph, despite what you may have led yourself to believe.”

Toph paused, letting Sokka’s comment sink in. 

“I- I’m sorry,” she began. “I know I was being kind of a bitc- a jerk back there. And I know you don’t actually believe I’m a bad mother but, but I’m not sure if I believe it. I’m so scared, Sokka. I don’t think I can actually do this alone. I- I know I said I could, but- but I think I was just lying to you, and to myself,” she choked out as tears began to cascade down her face. 

Sokka raised his eyebrows in alarm at his toughest friend’s unexpected breakdown. He pulled her close to his chest and began to rub her back.

“No, no, Toph, don’t think that. You can do it, you can. But you don’t have to, because we’re going to be here for you every step of the way. I’m going to be here for you every step of the way. You don’t have to do this alone, you hear me?”

“Yeah- yeah I do. I do hear you,” she replied with newfound confidence, wiping her tears on his shirt. “And- and you know I’m blind, right? Not deaf. Of course I hear you,” she joked with a familiar smirk.

Sokka chuckled, glad to see that he finally had his best friend back. He pulled her closer to his chest and just sat there for a minute, planting a kiss on the top of her head and burying his face in her hair. Their moment of peaceful rest was broken by Lin’s frantic crying.

“It’s alright baby girl, it’s alright. Mama’s here,” Toph assured Lin as she picked her up and cradled her in her arms. As she carried her sleepy child back to her crib for some much-needed rest, whispering to her in soothing tones the entire time, Sokka couldn’t help noticing how at home she looked all of a sudden. How safe and comfortable she was with her baby in her arms.

She was going to be just fine. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #458

“i was unprepared for fame, then everybody knew my name”

What does your doormat say? I... actually am not sure. I don't pay any attention. What do you order from most sit down restaurants? Chicken tenders are my go-to safe option, ha ha. Or shrimp. Who was the last person you talked about love/relationships with? Sara. I wanted her advice. Where was the last place you thought about having sex, other than your bed? This was way too long ago, dude. Do you remember the last time you went against someone’s advice? Very recently. :x What day would you consider the best day of your life? Why? Idk, really. Would you say you’re too experienced or too unexperienced for your age? I am embarrassingly unexperienced. What is your favorite neon color? Ever buy nail polish that color? Hot pink. I don't care for nail polish. Has anyone ever mistaken you to be a member of the opposite sex? No. What is the greatest source of happiness in your life? Uhhhh... What was the last charity/cause you donated to? Children With Hair Loss, when I cut a shitload of my hair off for the style I have now. Getting that certificate that my hair was used is to this day one of the warmest feelings I've ever experienced. Who was the last person you got a handwritten letter from? Sara. What is something you know very little about? Economics. Have any of your worst fears ever come true? Yes. I lost Jason. Is anyone in your family divorced? My parents, three of my siblings (all have since gotten remarried and are very happy<3), and I'm sure more distant relatives, too. Does your family go ‘all out’ during the holidays? No. How often in a year do you go to the mall to get new clothes? Pretty much never. Who was the last person to call you beautiful? What was your reaction? Someone on Facebook when I updated my profile pic, probably. I was very flattered, of course. As someone with a SHIT self-image, it means a lot to me. Do you ever get paranoid about who your significant other hangs out with? I'm single, but hypothetically, nope. Did you ever call any teachers by their first name? Who? Some, but only because they preferred it. I don't remember all of them, other than it was common in college. Do you blow-dry, towel-dry or air-dry your hair? Towel-dry and best I can first, then let it air-dry. Have you ever wanted to be in a band? ... One of the reasons I chose to go to actual school instead of homeschooling when I started HS was because I liked the thought of making actual friends and maybe being a guitarist if any wanted to start bands lmao. What is your favorite flavor of gum? Watermelon, probs. Are you a good leader? lol no Would you ever go bear hunting? I'm strictly opposed to hunting for sport, but even if I wasn't, I would NOT be going after bears. Have you ever picked flowers out of someone else’s garden without asking? Wow, no. Have you ever won money by entering a contest/raffle? No. Who is your favorite philosopher? I don't have one. What restaurant would you choose to go to for breakfast? I'm a v basic bitch and love me some Waffle House lmfao. How much money do you think you cost your parents? I. Don't. Want. To. Know. With so much medical stuff... holy shit. Do you eat any meat other than turkey on Thanksgiving? I eat spiral ham, because I don't like turkey in that form. Does your cat give you kitty kisses? Yes. :') Have you ever lost anyone close to cancer? Close, no. My mom was a close call, though... Her cancer was very, very close to being stage 4. Have you ever been to a waterpark? Yeah, as a kiddo. Describe the person you like/love in one word: Hilarious. Do you enjoy creative writing? Hell yeah man. If so, what things do you like writing about the most? Meerkats in a fantasy setting. Do you own any windchimes? Yes. Mom has one, I believe. Have you ever been known for something extremely negative? No. Would you say you’ve made a lot of people proud? Hell no. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone for over a year? Twice. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? I think I've made that abundantly obvious in the past few surveys lmao. Does your birth name mean anything in another language or sense? It just means "of Britain." I wish my name had better meaning, lol. What is your favorite desert? THE KALAHARI because MEERKATS!!!!!!!!!!! :') Have you ever been called a good kisser? Well not directly, but no one's ever complained? Have you ever stepped on a bee? No. Who is your newest friend? Hmmm... I haven't made a new friend in a very long time. Tell me something about yourself that you don’t normally tell people. I'm an RPer. The last song you heard, what does it make you think of? That I wish I was NEARLY as hot as her lmao. What do you like about your birthday? We go out to eat wherever I want, yum. The person you’re thinking about - what are you thinking about them? That he needs to mESSAGE ME BACK Are you currently sick at all? No. Has anyone ever asked for your autograph? Er, no. What’s one subject that makes you feel uncomfortable? Sex. Who did you last send a friend request to? Idk. What candy makes your face pucker? None that I've tried. I handle sour treats very well. Do you believe that the number 13 is unlucky? No. Do you know any marines? Jason's dad was one. What’s your favorite Halloween movie? Hocus Pocus. :') Do you know anyone who does a lot of pills? I guess me, but they're prescription pills, and I don't abuse them. Mom has a lot, too. Who’s your favorite rapper? And your favorite song by this rapper? Eminem. Either "Love the Way You Lie" or "Space Bound." Has anyone ever made a promise to you that they’d change? Who? No. Have you ever had the cops called on you? For what? Nope. What race do you see the most in your neighborhood? African American. Have you ever walked in on someone accidentally while they were nude? No, I don't think so. Have you ever wanted to get your monroe pierced? Nah, it'd look weird on me. Do you own anything that involves Betty Boop? Nope. Can you remember the last song you listened to? Yeah; I'm listening to Lauren Babic and Halocene's cover of Linkin Park's "Bleed It Out" right now. What is your favourite flavour of Skittles? The sour ones!! Red was always my favorite. Who taught you how to ride a bike? My dad. Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst? Girt. Jason is a very close second, but Girt... he saw me at rock fucking bottom. He just showed up at the hospital unannounced after my suicide attempt (he knew because yay for writing a stupid fucking suicide note on Facebook) to help comfort me. He saw me dead to the fucking world and just done with everything. When��s the last time you were on the phone after 2 AM? Wow... probably not since a few days before the aforementioned suicide attempt and I called Jason's landline, desperate to talk to him. His mom picked up and talked to me for like two whole fucking hours. I'm tearing up pretty bad just remembering it, seeing as she's dead now... She cared for me so much. I miss her so, so much. Enough of this question, I'm about to start sobbing. :x What would you do if your best friend got an abortion? Honestly? Be relieved. I really don't think her body could handle pregnancy. What would you do if your father left your mother? That happened, and I hated him for years. What would you do if your bf/gf’s face became mutilated in an accident? Love them all the same. I don't care about appearances. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen in your life? *shrug* Have you ever dated two different people with the same name? No. That would be so weird. What are you deathly afraid of? Pregnancy. Internal parasites. Which unborn babies technically are. Do you know anyone who’s addicted to drugs and, if so, are you friends with them? I know many potheads, and one I'm pretty close with. Have you ever owned a golf cart before and, if so, what color was it? No. Do you have a sibling who’s a complete deadbeat and, if so, which sibling is it? Definitely not. All my siblings are hard workers that have dreams and aspirations they're either working towards or have achieved. Do you own the new Guitar Hero and, if so, what’s your favorite song on it? I have no clue what the newest one is. My favorite song to play in any of the games though is The Eagles' "Hotel California." It just feels good to play, and the ending solo fuckin' slams. Have you ever done anything dangerous enough to have risked your life? An overdose on cold medicine. What was the most length you’ve ever cut off your hair and why did you cut it? 8+ inches because I no longer wanted long hair. Have you ever overcome a disease that was life-threatening and, if so, which one? No.

[solange-lol]

not so typical love song - ch. 6/13

Chapter Title: Oogum Boogum Song

Words: 1,711

Art by @lizzybizzyo! <3

[ one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight (coming soon)]

read on ao3

—

The moment Nico got home from school that Wednesday, finally ready to be off for the long weekend for Thanksgiving, he could tell something was different.

For one thing, his father was actually home (per his car in the driveway.) And there were actually voices coming from the kitchen that greeted him, rather than the typical cold, empty silence.

Which could only mean one thing…

Nico’s eyes lit up the moment he stepped into the kitchen. “Bianca!”

His sister looked up from the conversation she was having with their father and Persephone. She immediately jumped up from the table, and Nico dropped his bag, practically running over to greet her.

The moment they hugged Nico realized how much he missed her. Life had been hectic, and as much as Blue may provide some sort of sense to his world, it felt amazing to have physical comfort again,

It almost made Nico want to tell Bianca about all he’s been through.

He stored that thought away for later, instead focusing on being here in the moment with his sister.

“I can’t believe you’re home,” he mumbled into her shoulder. (It wasn’t fair that she was 5’9 while he was stuck at 5'4.)

Bianca pulled back. “You didn’t really think I’d miss Thanksgiving, did you?”

“No! I’m just surprised you’re home so early! I thought you would be flying in the morning of.”

“Nope,” Bianca smiled, leading him over to the dining table where their parents still sat. “I got done with classes yesterday, so I took the day to get my stuff together, and then took a train this morning.”

“You took the train?” Nico asked, bewildered. “But that’s like… an eight hour trip”

Bianca shrugged. “Airline security during the holidays from now until the New Year is horrible. I didn’t really feel like waiting hours in line, so I thought I would just suck it up and make it easier on myself.” She paused before changing the subject. “Now, where’s that sister of ours?”

Nico smiled. “Probably getting a ride home from Frank.”

Bianca raised an eyebrow, a matching smile spreading across her face. “Ah, yes. The infamous Frank.” Nico and Bianca tried to call each other once a week whenever Bianca was free to talk, and during those calls, Nico did his best to catch her up on what was going on at home. “Will I ever get to meet this boy?”

Nico shrugged. “Dunno. None of us have met him yet. Maybe you’ll be our lucky charm.”

As if on cue, they heard the door shut, and Hazel walked in. “Bianca!”

A near-identical greeting to Nico’s ensued, and soon the five of them were sitting in the family room, drinking hot chocolate together as they caught Bianca up on everything Nico had missed during their phone calls. 

“So tell me about this Frank,” Bianca smiled, crossing her legs and giving Hazel a look over the top of her mug as she took another sip. 

Hazel immediately flushed, curls bouncing as she shook her head. “I told you guys, he’s just a friend. But, um, we are going to the homecoming dance together,” she said, more to her mug than to her family. 

Bianca smiled calmly. She opened her mouth to say something, but Nico cut her off.

“What?”

When Hazel and Bianca both gave him a warning look, he took a deep breath and tried again. “You didn’t tell me that.”

“Yeah, because I knew I wouldn’t hear the end of it!” Hazel retorted, causing Bianca to giggle while Nico huffed. Persephone and just watched amusedly from the side, and even their father had the hint of a smile on his face.

“Speaking of homecoming, who are you bringing, Neeks?” Bianca asked, elbowing him with a sly smile.

“Oh, um. Nobody, I don’t think. I mean, I’m going with friends but not, like, with a date.” 

He wasn’t lying; he really did only plan on going with friends. It was tradition by that point for his group to go to the dance together unless somebody got asked, and even then they usually just included their date in the group. Plus, even if Nico did have a date, he doubted he would really fit Bianca’s expectations. 

What she said next just confirmed his suspicion. “Why not? Are girls not lining up to ask you out? I thought people were into the whole edgy and mysterious thing nowadays.”

Nico scuffed his toe on the carpet. “Haha, uh, yeah. Not exactly,” he said, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. Because I’m gay. GAY!

Maybe coming out to Bianca this week wasn’t the best idea…

—

Nico excused himself to his room later that night after a game of monopoly, despite his sister’s many attempts.

“We could watch Titanic?”  Hazel offered, but Nico just shook his head. While it was one of their shared favorite movies, (especially Nico’s), he wasn't exactly in the mood. 

Also, he didn’t really feel like explaining tonight that the reason he loved it so much was because of a young Leonardo DiCaprio.

He wanted to ask Blue how the coming out process with his family was going, maybe even get a few pointers. However, when he opened his laptop that night, Nico was surprised to see an email already waiting for him. And judging by the subject line, Nico wasn’t sure what he was supposed to expect as he clicked on it.  

From:  blue0919@gmail.com

To: bettertoburn@gmail.com

Date: Nov 27 at 5:41 PM

Subject: This might be a lot to take in

I’ve had such a weird day. So much happened I can’t even tell if it's real, and what’s good or bad about it. 

When I got home from school yesterday, both of my parents were there. As in, my mom and my actual birth father. I haven’t seen my dad since I was 4 years old. He stopped sending me birthday money when I was about 10. I sort of assumed he was dead.

Apparently, he’s not dead, though, and he and my mom were just sitting there like he hasn’t been ignoring us for the past 12 years of my life. 

And get this: there were two other kids there. Apparently, I have siblings (and the worst part is, my mom told me later that I might have more. I could have 10 siblings and I wouldn’t even know. My father is a manwhore, apparently.)

The room was dead silent and I just had to sit there awkwardly with these two other kids and listen to them explain the situation. Apparently, my mom is adopting them because my father isn’t fit to take care of them. He essentially guilted her into it because he’s a deadbeat and my mom is the kindest person you’ll ever meet. 

Anyway, after an excruciating hour of small talk, they excused us. Except my house is small and it’s quiet, and when they started arguing we just sat silently on the staircase. They didn’t even last a whole minute before they were screaming at each other. We could hear every word. 

Imagine being stuck with two people you’ve never met but are apparently related to. I felt trapped at the top of this staircase, just sitting between the wall and the railing as they watched me. I honestly felt like banging my head on the wall a few hundred times until it broke through, but they both already seemed so scared. 

Anyway, they’re moving in a little before the holiday break, which means I need to get to know them well enough soon so I can get them gifts for Hannukah. (If they grew up celebrating Christmas… well I don’t know what to do then).  My half-sister (that’s so weird to say) is a freshman, and my half-brother is a sophomore. I don’t know a thing about either of them but after the holiday break, they’re coming to CHS. I’m being completely honest here, Angel, I don’t know how I feel about it yet. 

My dad wants to take me out to dinner or something before he disappears forever, and I honestly don’t know what to do. I wasn’t expecting any of this. 

I’m so lost, Angel. If anyone can find some sort of humor in this, it’s you. Or just distract me. You’re good at that too.

Love,

Blue

Nico felt like he was looking at a weird, distorted mirror, like something you would find in a funhouse. Who knew Blue would have such a similar situation to something Nico had dealt with years prior?

He knew that this would have come out sooner or later the more they went in detail about their lives, so biting the bullet, he started to type.

From: bettertoburn@gmail.com

To: blue0919@gmail.com

Date: Nov 27 at 7:45 PM

Subject: Re: This might be a lot to take in

You probably won’t believe this, Blue, but I’ve been through something similar. 

Remember when I mentioned my half-sister and how it wasn’t a long story I was interested in getting into? Yeah, apparently when my mom died (I was maybe two years old at the time) my dad had some interesting coping mechanisms. And 12 years later after her mom died, suddenly I’m being told that I have another sister. Not exactly something you’d expect to hear at 13 years old.

But, I learned to love her. She’s my sister through and through.

You know me, Blue. I’m not one for pep talks, and I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. It wasn’t for me. Nor will I say I understand, because frankly, there’s no way I can understand what you’re feeling completely. You’re not crazy for feeling the way you do.

I’m here to support you. If anyone can get through this, it’s you.

(That’s really cheesy and unhelpful) (But also true)

Love,

Angel

Nico let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding once he sent it. It was sort of scary how much he was willing to risk just to comfort Blue, but it felt worth it. 

He would do anything for Blue.

Now if only they could work up the courage to reveal their identities before someone did it for them.

[writinginthesecrettrees]

It’s my birthday. 

I hate my birthday.

I’ve been sitting here, trying to think of a good one, and I think the best might have been in 1983, when I was born. All downhill from there. I’m gonna write a bit about my birthdays over the years. It’s long. It’s really just for me.

Because my birthday has never actually been mine, you see. My birthday has always been about other people. What my mom thought would be fun, and never mind if I wanted to invite the neighbor to my party and never mind that he’s mean to me, we have to be nice. It’s what good neighbors do. Or the year that none of my friends came to my party. That’s a fun high school memory.

Or the year that my high school had a dance on my birthday. Freshman year, and I thought “Hey, let’s just do that,” and went with my best friend. Unfortunately, my ex-boyfriend (we “went out” for about a month before I realized that, while I liked talking to him and we had some shared interests, I wasn’t attracted to him) decided that my birthday was the day to try and get back together with me. I didn’t know how to handle it, so my friend and I went into the locker room (dances in the school gym, locker rooms available for restroom purposes) and hung out there until a teacher asked us what was going on. Because he was right outside, and standing there until I would talk to him. She went out and told him he had to leave us alone.

He spent the weekend sending me really scary emails. Like, 10 to 20 a day. When I went to school on Monday, he was still sending them. Subject lines like “IF YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SCARED AT THE DANCE...” I didn’t know what to do, I’d never dealt with something like that. Luckily, I was a TA first period, for a teacher with a free period (Dr. B, I still love you!). I told her what was going on, showed her the emails. He was still sending at that moment, because his first period class was Internet which was an actual class at my school in 1998 where we made hotmail accounts and built angelfire webpages.

So Dr. B printed out my inbox, just the inbox with the subject lines and showing how many emails I had received just that morning, and took it to the VP in charge of security (our school had four VPs). Ex-boyfriend got called out of class, had a talk with the VP, campus security, the actual police, and, worst of all, his mother. He didn’t bother me after that. But it’s still a wonderful birthday memory.

Things got better after I stopped trying to have parties, but it lets the real crap stand out more. Like the way that people I don’t speak to, who don’t speak to me, decide that my birthday is the day to feelings dump on me. I’m expected to answer their calls, or call them to thank them for the card or whatever, or else I’m the ungrateful spoiled brat.

I’m not gonna go into the friends who have vanished from my life, and me from theirs, who still pop up to say happy birthday on social media. I deleted Facebook, so that’s no longer an issue.

There’s my dad. My dad and mom divorced when I was three, and when I was six my mom got a restraining order and he lost visitation because of his habit of alcoholism and taking me six hours away and not bringing me home on time. I’ve actually got my mom’s old file of legal papers and letters to both my dad and grandma and their responses. So my dad was a deadbeat, and that sucks. Facebook let him find me again a while ago, so now he’s like a creepy jumpscare every birthday. Normal “Happy Birthday I love you” sorts of messages (paragraphs and paragraphs worth) but there’s a lot there that’s unresolved, and I get to have it all dragged up again every year. Happy birthday to me.

There’s also my stepdad. He’s basically been my dad since I was seven, and he actually adopted me when I was eleven. A while back, he decided that drugs, porn, and hookers are more fun than having a family, and skipped out. I actually tried to keep a relationship for a while. Then one year, maybe four years ago, I didn’t reach out on Christmas. And the holiday went by with no communication. And then his birthday went by, and mine, and Father’s Day, and Thanksgiving, and the next Christmas too. And suddenly it had been over a year and there had been zero contact. And that was nice.

Too nice to last, though. He popped up around his birthday (it’s in March) the next year. I ignored it, because I was really enjoying not having awkward dinners with him where he said stupid things and acted like it was deep, or awkward visits where I had to sit and look at over an hour of slideshows of his new family (they don’t speak English, he only speaks English, it’s very confusing to me), or look at his stupid rock collection that’s really the only thing he cares about. 

He popped up on my birthday, too. “Wife and I would love to have you come over for dinner tonight” was pretty much the text I received, on my birthday, late afternoon. At the time, I lived about an hour’s drive away, two with traffic, and he knew that. He also knows that I hate last-minute plans, especially last minute plans that require me to drive over an hour to get to. Also, it being my birthday, I already had plans with my mom and sister. Yeah, the plans were just “get Thai food and watch Netflix,” but I’m BIG into the low-key birthday. And I was in the middle of a major depressive period at the time: I love baking, and I love making cakes and stuff, and I’d been planning on making some sort of fancy thing (one year I made lemon cake with orange blossom buttercream and candied orange slices to decorate, and it was gorgeous and delicious and I make good cake is my point) but I ended up just buying a cake that year. Which is rare.

So anyway, he pops up hoping to claim hours of my birthday at the last minute (also I hate his wife’s cooking), and I just ignored it. Went with my mom to get the food, and while we were waiting... Surprise! Stepdad and his wife walked into the exact restaurant we were in. He ducked down and pretended like he hadn’t seen us.

Awkward. Happy birthday to me.

Which brings us to this year. This year, and I’m already braced for impact, because stepdad emailed my mom about “What’s Kelly’s address so I can send her a birthday card? I’d ask her but she never answers me.”

Which is crap, because whenever he asks me an actual fucking question, I respond. I don’t respond immediately to pictures of his new puppy, or a baby flamingo that he thought looked funny, but “Hey, Kelly, what’s your address?” gets an answer right away. I know this, because:

Literally the last texts sent. Edited out the actual address, but that’s it. So literally the last time he texted me was to ask my address, and I immediately responded to that. And yeah - I didn’t respond when he said “love you” because I’ve got some issues with him. Like, went looking for a card to send him for his 60th birthday (milestone year, didn’t want to just ignore it) and I was very frustrated at the lack of “I don’t want to talk to you but I can’t ignore this birthday” cards. Hallmark, you’re missing a market there.

When I had to change my number, I let him know right away. Only reason I didn’t update him when I moved was because he’d never mailed me anything. Or visited. In the five years I was living there.

So now I get to look forward to a card for my birthday. Yay. And I know there’ll be an awkward call with his mom, my grandma to look forward to. It’s really hard having a relationship with her when I don’t have one with him, and when I have so much negativity towards him.

You know what, this has gotten way longer than I meant it to. I’m just gonna end it now.

Happy birthday to me. I hate my birthday. I’m maybe going offline for my birthday. And turning off my phone. I don’t want to deal with people today.

[ruinedbygaysstylinson]

hi there! i'm still somewhat new to this fandom but i'm familiar with bg and everything so i'm just wondering why people believe that liam is also stunting with cheryl? is he believed to be gay as well and this relationship with her and his baby is just another cover up? like i understand why people believe louis isn't really a dad but i don't see as much regarding liam? can you try and explain this??

Hi Nonnie!

First of all, welcome to the fandom. It’s a mess, but it’s our mess lol

I’m gonna be honest, when I first got this ask I had no clue where to start explaining just how fake Chiam is, and I wish I had a textbook answer for you. The best way I can put it is that literally everything about it makes no sense logically. None of it. Prepare for a lot of rambling.

Not sure how into the fandom you are, but if you’ve heard of RBB/SBB, they foreshadowed Chiam on Liam’s bday in 2015 at a show, using toothpaste labeled “Colegate” which is a nod to her first marriage, and the original babygate which had been labeled a couple months earlier.

As far as timelines go, Sophiam ended late October 2015. Charcole actually got married for the second time in mid 2014, and while her and her husband seperated in late 2015, they both wore their wedding rings into 2016, despite the fact that later it was hinted that Chiam began at the XF final in 2015. Chiam was announced in the exact same way every other stunt is: via an exclusive to Dick Wattpad from the Sun. Baby rumors started a couple months later, nearly 2 full months before the date Charcole supposedly conceived. During this time, Chiam made a few public appearances, all staged red carpets or pap walks, and they were never spotted together by fans outside of these. Charcole had a baby bump months before she was pregnant, and baited the media by putting her hand over her stomach in multiple events. After she became “pregnant”, Liam basically moved to LA and lived there for her entire pregnancy. He began partying, worked on his album, and acted like a single guy for the duration with no care in the world for Charcole. What a normal thing for a dad-to-be to do. They never officially announced the pregnancy, she just turned up obviously pregnant in December 2016, and then posed for Loreal with a massive bump on a campaign released in February. Her bump changed in sizes and height throughout the pregnancy, but she went into hiding so it was difficult to actual tell what was going on, which was 100% the point. The birth was announced via a single photo of Liam with a baby, despite the fact that usually moms pose with their baby. To this day, we’ve never seen the baby’s face, and Charcole has yet to show off her pride and joy. Privacy is one thing, but this is another thing entirely. If it wasn’t for Liam babbling on, you’d have no clue she had a kid.

So what are my issues with Chiam? First of all, her association with Satan Cowbell. They are besties. Judges together on XF, and recently I found out that she’s also an executive producer. Chiam was used to promote XF in late October with probably the cringiest moment they’ve had yet. If you hate Satan because of what he did to Louis/Harry, you better be concerned that Liam “willingly” shacked up with one of his friends.

Secondly, timing. Liam was planning a solo career. It’s been his dream for over 10 years. Why on earth would he decide to settle down in the middle of trying to launch his solo career, just months after ended a long term relationship? Basically this stunt forced him to “choose” between his career and his kid, which is NOT something that a loving partner would put you through. Charcole was also married until late 2016. If she was so desperate for a baby, wouldn’t it make more sense to have it with your husband rather than a guy 10 years her junior in a completely different stage of life? She’s old but she still has time. Literally everything about this relationship was set up to fail. Also, what exactly do they have in common? They moved so quickly that Liam never had to talk about her/why they are even dating. To me, the only things they have in common are that they were both in a band (with very different experiences..) and they have a kid together. Nice.

Thirdly, Charcole’s presence in his promo. In 2014 she released an album that flopped pretty badly because she really can’t sing at all her. Her fame came from her very public relationship drama and her association with XF when it was at the height of it’s fame. Her career is pretty much over and she’s most likely desperate for anything to reverse this progression. What better way to find new fans than to try and tap into one of the largest fandoms out there? Of course, she didn’t take into account the fact that we aren’t 13 year old girls with no brains, and therefore aren’t going to blindly stan her like people did with Sofa and Elk in the past. She’s ridiculously problematic as a person (she punched a woman in the face for doing her job and got convicted for assault, admitted to attacking her ex husband, dodged taxes via a shady company that closed in 2014 right when she turned up suddenly married to JB. The list goes on and on), and from what I’ve seen her personality stinks, so why would we support her? For the most part, people either dislike her or just don’t care at all. Bummer. Liam’s promo was the only way for her to get positive news out there about herself without her doing all the talking. Unfortunately for her, Liam went overboard and now people hate her just as much, if not more, than they did before this stunt. Just to be clear: normal celebs don’t launch their careers by constantly telling stories about their kid, s/o and hyping up their accomplishments from 8 years ago.

Fourthly, body language. This is a big one. Liam’s eyes in the very first selfie of them scared me to death because he looked so upset and resigned. Literally screaming for help with his facial expression. All along, the lack of intimacy between Chiam is pretty hard to dispute. They are not comfortable together at all, and I know some media sites called them out for faking affection on red carpets when they are distant in private in May 2016. Liam was a lot better at faking it last year as well, because he’s nothing if not professional. At XF this year, it was literally painful to watch them interact, and I made a post about that when it happened. Basically, as a couple they don’t have the familiarity that they should have considering all they’ve squeezed into less than two years. Liam also doesn’t talk about her fondly at all. If you pay attention, a lot of his comments just about her are negative: she scolds him, nags him, rolls her eyes at him, dresses him (in hideous pants, someone burn those), makes all the decisions about the baby, critcizes his music, etc, but at least she was famous back when he was 15 eh? (Them meeting at 14/24 when she was married for years is just another nasty aspect. She was in a mentor role and I’m disgusted she was okay with this stunt. It’s so wrong on so many levels.) Overall she sounds pretty awful to me, and that’s just based off of the picture Liam is painting.

And finally, the saga of Conchobear. The difference between actual celebrities having babies (think Beyoncé), vs Charcole is hilarious. No one ever saw her stomach when pregnant, she hid for months before and after the birth, and low and behold she popped back up with a new face! That’s the second 1D mom to get extensive plastic surgery when she should be caring for an infant. I seriously doubt she actually was pregnant, but that’s not something I’ll go into here. Liam was out working on his career a month after the announcement, and has been travelling pretty consistently since. He’s missed multiple important holidays; for example, on Father’s Day he flew from the US to Italy for a fashion show, and then back to the US. On Conchobear’s 6 month bday, Liam went out and did interviews. Do you really think that if Liam was an actual dad, he wouldn’t make every effort and move mountains to spend as much time as possible with his firstborn son? It just doesn’t make sense with what we know about Liam’s personality. He’s responsible, and he wouldn’t put himself in this situation. What he says, what we are fed, what he does, and what we know about him as a person don’t line up at all. Liam sounds like an amazing involved dad with his tales, but he lacks a basis in basic human development; his stories are cute and so unrealistic. Thus, Liam hasn’t spent any significant time with a baby. The entire stunt has been setting up single mom!Charcole, but Liam’s team has made sure to prevent her from calling him a deadbeat via the stories. It’s hard to say he was never around when he’s gushing about the kid in every interview. He’s also gotten worse at lying recently, and I get the feeling he’s tired.

So yeah, basically every aspect of this relationship is messed up in one way or another, and I’m expecting to see Chiam end sooner rather than later. If they are both out working on material, they won’t be able to hold it together imo. There’s definitely stuff I’ve missed and if any of my mutuals/followers want to add to this feel free. This is just stuff I thought of off the top of my head.

For specific examples of some of what I’ve mentioned you can check out the Twitter thread I linked below. It has some great resources and that account in general is amazing at breaking down stunt events. I’m also gonna reblog a post comparing Chiam to Zigi (another dead fauxmance) and Hiddleswift that is pretty interesting for you to look over.

https://twitter.com/EndBabygates/status/856439540831195137

Enjoy your stay in the fandom Nonnie. If you have any specific questions or need recommendations for who to follow, shoot me a message!

[speightfan4ever-blog]

Heavenly Reconcile. Part 4.

Deadbeat dad. Maybe that really did fit him. Did Lucifer truly believe that of his father? It surely seemed like it as he stared back to Lucifer. It hurt to hear such a thing said by one of his own sons, but at the same time, he knew he deserved it. He deserved all of this, getting yelled at and being called some horrible things.

“Call me what you want, deadbeat dad, absent father. If that makes you feel better, call me that. Get everything off of your chest, maybe it will help us all in the end”

Chuck's voice was calm, he was trying his best to stay that way. The last thing he wanted to do was let his anger get the better of him. None of his sons would have liked to have seen that again, the wrathful side of him. Michael, Lucifer, Raphael and Gabriel stared back at their father, all hearing what he said and now any of them had the floor to speak up, to say what was on their mind.

“Father, you left us with no instruction. No reason. We were.. we are, lost without you. We needed you then and we need you now. Being the oldest of the Archangels, I tried being the one to keep Heaven in check, but it all got out of control.. many fought for power, being stuck in the cage with Lucifer.. stuck, nothing I could do, only to hear of my younger brothers and sisters killing one another. I want it to stop. If you truly want it to stop like you said, you have a lot to make up for. We can't have you disappear on us all again.”

Michael would say as he stood tall between Gabriel and Raphael who stood on each side of him. Raphael would look down, he had been one of the many who had fought for power, for control over Heaven while their father had been absent. Lucifer seemed to remain quiet while looking to each of his brothers, before looking to his father.

“I won't disappear again. I will not abandon any of you.. I want all of this to change. I want to fix what I messed up. I truly mean that”

Lucifer didn't believe a single word his father said. He had no reason to believe a word he said, after all that had happened to him due to his father before and after his disappearance made him have little to no faith to believe that his father was telling the truth about wanting any of this to change and most of all that he would stay. Yet, deep down he did want his father to return to them. But no way would he so easily show such a thing.

“Why should we believe you dad? After all you've done? Maybe these three will believe you. But me? Nah. It will be a cold day in hell when I believe anything you say”

Chuck would put his attention on Michael, Raphael and Gabriel, while he kept his attention from Lucifer, who started to mess with the random papers on his fathers desk. Silence between the four in the room. The only sound coming from Lucifer messing around with the papers on the desk in front of him. It seemed to be a way to get attention, Chuck knew this all too well.

Seemed some things didn't ever change, even after thousands of years. Lucifer was always seeking attention, and it seemed while he tried to hide that was why he was doing any of that to begin with, that Chuck and the other Archangels knew quite well for his reason of doing it. A slight sigh would come from Chuck as he finally turned his attention to Lucifer, who stopped as soon as his father looked at him.

“I know it may be hard to believe me, but I mean every word I have said, Luci”

It wasn't just Lucifer who was finding it hard to believe Chuck and what he was saying. All four of the Archangels were having difficulties believing such a thing. Michael would clear his throat to break the silence in the room that was starting to build up again.

“What will you do to prove this? To change all of this, father?”

The eldest Archangel, Michael, would say out as he looked to his father. His head tilted slightly as he looked to his father. It was a good question to ask. What would he do to prove what he said was true, what would he do to change or fix all of this. They all seemed to wait for that answer. Gabriel would be the next to speak up.

“Yeah pops, we would love to know”

Chuck stood silent as he looked from Michael, Raphael, Lucifer to Gabriel as he thought of what his answer would be. It was now that something popped into his mind. It would be a slow start, a long process to get them all to even be happy under one roof but with the biggest holiday, Christmas, coming up.. maybe a miracle would happen. So he hoped.

“I have a few ideas that have now come to mind. It won't fix anything big.. but.. it will be a start. To have us under the same roof and maybe we can learn to argue less and we go from there. Christmas is coming up, we aren't far off from that and it is celebrated with families coming together.. maybe we can do that. Of course the smaller idea I have before that event in about two weeks, we can start with small gatherings of just the five of us. We can start tomorrow.. I'll.. make us breakfast.. and we go from there”

All of them listened to their fathers idea. Most seemed a tad puzzled by the idea that he came up with. Gabriel was familiar with human traditions and how they were during the holidays, the very idea seemed ridiculous, but maybe it would work out, yet he had very little faith in it being a success, because of Lucifer.

Michael, Raphael and Gabriel seemed to be interested in the idea, Lucifer however not so much as he filled the room with laughter. He seemed amused by his fathers idea. Chuck turned his attention to Lucifer as he heard him speak up now.

“You expect me to come here for food and what? Talk? Mingle, like a hairless ape would? Celebrate a holiday invented by them?! What's next? Exchange gifts? Watch their football games where they fight over a ball? I have better things to do daddio!”

Lucifer would say out as he leaned back in the chair and lifted his feet up, placing them on the desk. Chuck would give a shake of his head. Maybe it was a stupid idea that he had come up with. It had just been the first one to come to mind. Silence once again filled the room for a moment before Michael would speak up.

“Father, that is a strange idea. I must admit, but maybe this will be good for us. If it means you will be here with us. I am willing to try.”

Chuck would look to his eldest, Michael, as a smile appeared upon his face. He was happy that at least one of his sons seemed to be on board. Hopefully it wouldn't just be him. Gabriel and Raphael still needed to decide what they wanted, and maybe Lucifer would change his mind, so he hoped. Gabriel would take a deep breath before he spoke and stepped forward.

“If Michael's going to try and go along with this, I guess I will too”

Gabriel would say out as he gave a brief smile to his father before he stepped back. Well that was two now. Chuck's idea now didn't seem so bad. Raphael would look to Michael and Gabriel, if they were willing to try this, maybe he could give it a shot, see what came of this strange idea their father had.

“You can count me in, father. I will attend these.. gatherings”

Raphael wasn't one for smiling, but a half one seemed to appear for a second before it vanished. Well that just left Lucifer, if he decided to change his mind that was. A roll of his eye's would come as he heard each of his brothers agree to give this all a try. He couldn't believe it, he couldn't understand why they would try this. It was ridiculous, but.. as ridiculous as it was, he didn't want to be left out. A groan would come from Lucifer as he spoke up.

“Fine I'll show up for this first breakfast tomorrow, dad. Bright and early. This ridiculous idea of yours will just be another failure in the end”

All four were on board, Lucifer of course having no faith that this would be a success, but that was no surprise to Chuck. A nod would come from him as he looked to each of his sons.

“Well I will see you all tomorrow.. you're all free to do what you wish until the morning. I have some planning to do before that”

Lucifer would give a roll of his eye's before he vanished without another word. Michael and Raphael would give a nod of their heads before they too would vanish, leaving just Chuck and Gabriel in the room alone now. Chuck would raise a brow as he looked back to his youngest son, curious as to why he had chosen to stick around. Well he was about to find out.

“Pops, I'm sorry I went off on you earlier.. I just had so much built up. I'll try not to do that again”

Chuck would step forward, a smile upon his face as his right hand lifted up and his arm stretched out. His hand gently placed on Gabriel's shoulder as he looked to the youngest of his sons.

“Gabriel, you had every right to say what you did, to act the way you did. After what I've done.. I deserved that. So you don't need to apologize or seek forgiveness my son. Now go on and do what it is you normally do. Play tricks on people or stuff your face full of sweets. I know you enjoy a few things like that”

A chuckle would escape Chuck at the very thought. He knew Gabriel was big on playing tricks on the Winchester brothers, he was fully aware of that and his sweet tooth. Gabriel seemed happier now, since hearing his fathers word's. He felt as if a weight had been lifted from him.

“Is it okay if I stay here with you tonight instead?”

Chuck blinked when he heard the request. Gabriel wanted to stay there with him.. he hadn't seen that coming. Maybe something like that would bring them together. A nod would come from Chuck as he lowered his hand from Gabriel's shoulder.

“You're welcome to stay here for the night, or however long you wish, Gabriel...”