#i’ve had two Days actually. yesterday i was with MORE of my cousins and just reminded of how Weird and Not Normal i was and it SUCKED | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cialovesklopp · 2 months

Text

chapter one — mercedes amg

summary — contract signed, license accepted and off we go — it should have been that easy but the transition wasn’t. and now all hopes were resting on her. she truly hopes she won’t disappoint.

song — dead man walking [ brent faiyaz ]

warnings — none ( however if there is something that should have been, pls tell me )

word counts — 3.1k

cia’s quick rambles — so sorry for the long wait, so many things were happening and i completely forgot it with all the exams also coming up. however I got ahead of myself and finished the first two chapters. hope i have part three finished by next week. enjoy, this is just the beginning 🫶🏾

( masterlist / navigation / previous / next )

— august 2023

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌

princessaaliyah

liked by evamueller, mercedesamgf1 and 8.927 others

princessaaliyah first day of work, wish me luck

view all 1203 comments

username so she’s the girl toto appointed as new chief technical engineer? ⤷ username i really wanna know why her ⤷ username she doesn’t exactly seem like the normal appointment

username am i the only one surprised, how quick people found her account ⤷ username same, like they are actually scaring me

mercedesamgf1 welcome on board aaliyah, we’re already looking forward to our time together ⤷ princessaaliyah me too, thanks admin

username so happy to see more and more diversity here ⤷ username definitely, f1 is going to fall off so hard when lewis retires

username she is so pretty and sweet

evamueller already miss you so much, it’s so boring here ⤷ princessaaliyah now you know how i felt when you did a month in greece ⤷ evamueller taking the family jet now to come see you ⤷ princessaaliyah letting you know now that i’m broke and can’t bail you out this time ⤷ evamueller 😕

username i already love her ⤷username fr she seems to funny and sarcastic

susiewolff excited to meet you aaliyah, always nice to see a new female face ⤷ princessaaliyah thx susie, i’ve also heard so much about you ⤷ princessaaliyah think i’m hyperventilating

username predicting it now, she’s gonna build a rocket ship

username i really hope she’s gonna be the female adrian newey and have lewis win his eighth ⤷ username never with the way mercedes has been for the past two seasons

username there’s something promising about her

username am i the only one who finds it weird that she just appeared in the middle of the season ⤷ username it’s called silly season for a reason

f1 welcome to the sport aaliyah princessaaliyah liked this comment

username but why is there nothing about her? like her wikipedia page is almost blank, as if it’s been created yesterday ⤷ username maybe because she likes her privacy like normal people? ⤷ username apparently she’s still a student ⤷ username how do u know? ⤷ username my cousin used to go to the same university, she also has a phd in physics and a bachelor in engineering already ⤷ username and she’s only 26

username this is gonna be a funny second part of the season

username just begging that she can finally give lewis his eighth ⤷ username and george his second win

𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄

to say she was amazed was an understatement. standing in front of the official mercedes amg quarters had her star struck. even though it wasn’t her actual dream workplace, the place reeked of excellence. and it felt good to be part of that.

just as expected it was raining in england which had her stepping out with an umbrella in her hand as she walked towards the modern complex. it was seven o’clock in the morning and the building's modern, metallic facade gleamed under the morning sun which had her breath hitch. it was beautiful and yet terrifying.

she was doing this for him, she reminded herself. this was all for him— a gesture toward redemption, a way to ease the guilt that gnawed at her in the quiet of the night.

aaliyah smiled when she saw toto personally waiting for her at the entrance in a black team rain jacket. it fit his darth toto vibe perfectly.

and how did she know about that? well, one good thing in her life was being an overachiever. she did not go anywhere unprepared and it was the same for her new job. between getting the offer and actually signing the work contract, she had done a full research into the world of f1 and all the lore that came with it.

and how did she know about that? simple: overachievers like her never went anywhere unprepared. she had a knack for digging into the details, and when the job offer came, she didn't waste a second. between getting the call and signing the contract, she plunged into the world of F1, reading herself into all the lore that came with it.

she could call herself a brocedes expert now.

“i’m happy to see that you made it.” he greeted her and the two walked inside. they passed teams of engineers and technicians moving with a synchronized efficiency that spoke volumes about their skill and dedication.

the hum of activity, the whir of robotic arms, and the occasional rev of an engine being tested filled the air with an electric energy. he would have loved this, she thought and a small smile appeared on her face.

this was her world, her area where she would excel. she had promised him that much and even though she was way out of her comfort zone, this was where everything came together and that created a new kind of comfort. the perfect mix of engineering and luxury cars.

“this is bigger than i expected,” she mumbled, still feeling starstruck as they continued. many walls were decorated by massive tvs and pictures displaying the latest amg models in action, zooming through picturesque landscapes and roaring down racetracks.

toto laughed. “well, the best for the best right?”

“so what’s the plan for today? it’s seven thirty now and the only thing we’ve been doing is walk.”

“well the next race is soon so today, you’re going to see the car in its full glory for the first time. lewis and george should be arriving here soon so they can tell you a bit more about it.”

of course, the two mercedes drivers she would meet for the first time today. she had read about them, instantly taking a liking to lewis. and she had found george to be very likable from what she had seen and heard of him. but meeting them in real life was always something else.

it was crazy for her when she thought back that two months ago, she had just been aaliyah prince. engineering student at munich university. and now she could add the title of chef technical engineer to her resumé. her life had gone from zero to 180 in the span of a month and there was no going back.

everything was already official, she had gotten her badge, she had signed her contract and the official f1 account had publicly announced the change. she was all in now.

after a quick tour of the factory that had been specially arranged for her, she and toto entered a huge gallery where all of the previous race cars had been stored. she stopped in front of the famous w11, cautiously touching its rear wing while her heart started beating quicker.

“impressive, huh?”

she turned around and found toto smirking at her.

“it’s definitely something. i think this was the most perfect car in f1 history, it did give lewis his seventh championship.”

there was something spark-like in toto’s eyes. “nice to know that you did your homework. and with you, i’m sure we’re going to get his eighth.”

she opened her mouth, wanting to say something before closing it again. she didn’t want it to sound wrong but she had to know. she needed assurance that her secret and past stayed hidden and buried six feet underground.

“didn’t they ask questions? why you suddenly chose to recruit a twenty-something student from university?”

“i’m the boss, i get to do everything.”

“i just mean, people will want to know where i am from, look me up. and that’s what scares me.”

“aaliyah, if this is about what I think it is — i’m the only person that knows about it and should know about it,” he began and closed the door to make sure no one could overhear them. “ we both talked about it, i handled it, don’t worry.”

“i just don’t want anything to come out,” said aaliyah, her voice much quieter. “and with me being a public person now—”

“you don’t want anyone to know that you have an iq of 171 and are a certified genius.”

she snorted sarcastically. “175 and believe me, my brain has been more of a curse than a gift to me.”

toto softly put a hand on her shoulder. “and i’m here for you now. i may be your boss but i’m also your friend. so if anything, and i really mean anything,” he emphasized, both knowing what they were referring to, “comes up, you tell me. call, or even come to my hotel room. there’s always a solution.”

the tour neared the end and toto led her to a special section with lots of computers and graphics. there were sketches and designs with specific attention to detail that amazed her in one way. aaliyah could feel a deep sense of admiration for the talent and dedication of her new colleagues.

and in the middle, in all its black beauty and glory stood two w14, one with a certain green-yellowish embroidering while the other had a blue one. she felt more than fascinated with them — this could become an obsession for her. staring at the car in front of her should have made her back out, maybe even run for the hills if the reports that she had read about mercedes and their w14 were true.

but instead it sent her brain into overdrive.

in her head she was already going over all the things she could experiment, of course under regulation of the other mechanics. this was the car she had to turn into a rocket ship and she would be lying if she said she wasn’t excited.

maybe that's why she sometimes viewed her brain as a curse. it was a relentless force, endlessly questioning and analyzing, never quiet. it burdened her with insights and thoughts that felt overwhelming, leaving her longing for peace she rarely found.

she edged closer to the car, her fingers brushing against its surface, the sensation almost dreamlike. the touch brought back memories of those old sundays, when life felt simpler. she recalled sitting with her father on the couch, watching the races when the cable worked, and how he loved to point out the drivers to little aaliyah, who only understood the allure of the cars.

it made her miss her dad so much.

the car itself was at first sight a masterpiece of combining aerodynamics and engineering with the law of physics. she could practically feel all the effort and research that had gone into developing it. her finger graciously traced the carbon fiber bodywork along, the coolness of the material sending a shiver down her spine.

her thoughts darted ahead, a whirlwind of possibilities for the car's transformation. she could already pinpoint some areas ready for modifications, envisioning tweaks and upgrades that might unlock new speeds, each idea a wave crashing against the limits of her own imagination.

aaliyah found herself so mesmerized by the car, she did not notice the two other persons enter the room. lewis and george were clearly surprised when instead of the expected elderly man, they found a young black woman standing in front of them, completely lost in her thoughts as she played with the car. they were clearly curious because except for her name, they didn’t know anything about her.

“you must be aaliyah,” said lewis in a warm tone and she turned around, nearly jumping because of the two new presences in the room.

great, she had already ruined her first impression and and it was lewis hamilton standing in front of her.

thank god she couldn’t spot a blush or else her face would have matched a ferrari car. “yes, that’s me, aaliyah. the new chief technical engineer. and for the record, in my head this went way better.”

they all laughed.

george took a step forward and held out his hand. “george russell, a pleasure to work with you from now on.”

damn, he’s tall. was height a requirement to work here?

lewis snorted. “believe me, i asked myself the same thing.

again, thank the lord her skin was too dark to blush. “i didn’t mean to say that out loud.”

she suddenly felt small, smaller than she already was in company of the three men. lewis hamilton was beautiful, ethereal even — his iconic dreadlocks were neatly styled in a typical bun, he had beige trousers matched with the black team merch on and his fingers were adorned with all types of rings. but it was his smile that made him probably the most beautiful man she had ever seen.

in other words, lewis reminded her of him.

then there was george, whose tall frame and youthful energy were equally compelling and kind of attractive. she knew they would get along well, his smile was warm and genuine as they shook hands. it really did feel as if she could find her place here.

“i’ll start again and just say, it’s an honor to be here. i can’t wait to work with you,” said aaliyah, smiling.

“it’s great to meet you too, aaliyah,” george said, his handshake firm. “toto didn’t tell us much but looking forward to working with you.”

“it’s always great to see another female face working in this environment,” added lewis, a warm smile on his face. “and your hair looks amazing by the way. i love the afro.”

was she about to cry because the lewis hamilton complimented her hair? never. but was she about to have an allergic reaction because of that? perhaps.

she passed a hand through her hair, untangling a few curls. “thank you, lewis. i appreciate the compliment.”

“always here if you need one, sweetheart,” he winked at her which had her laugh.

they continued their small get-to-know-each-other as they discussed various aspects of the car and how the last races had gone for each of them. some of them were good, others horrible and manageable. the two drivers told her where they thought was the most to work on and the challenges they encountered concerning the speed.

but as hopeful as they sounded, aaliyah knew she had to set limits to their dreams before she gave them too much and they would fall flat down on their arses.

“boys, let me just say something,” her tone became a bit more serious, “from what i heard about the rules concerning changes, certain can give you penalties. the current setup is good, i already see some things i can change but i can’t do much for now because i need to see it in action.”

lewis nodded. “you’ll travel with us for the next races, won’t you? or will you work from the factory?”

“i think both, like i said, i need to see the car in action. so the next race, i’ll be there,” she explained. “also, i need to note that there may be several areas i believe that need significant changes from the reports i’ve been able to read. and not only will this take time but there’s a high likelihood we might need to take some grid penalties for those changed. i just want to make sure you’re both on board with this before we go any further with this.”

they exchanged a glance, both drivers listening thoroughly to what she had to say. they were already struggling and in a hard battle with the ferraris concerning the second place in the constructor’s championship. but on second thought, a few grid places lower were definitely manageable if it meant fighting at the top again.

lewis was the first to nod again, this time towards her. “we’ll handle a few grid places. at this point, it’s anything to give those red bulls in front a fight and show them they’re not invincible,” he said firmly, determination clear in his tone. “we’ve been struggling with this car for a while now, the bumping may be gone but it’s still so slow. if you believe these changes will help us get back to the front, then we’re with you.”

“yeah, i absolutely agree. not going to lie, it’s been horrible driving this thing as it is. we trust your expertise, aaliyah. and if you think we need to take a step back to move forward, then that’s what we’ll do.”

aaliyah clapped her hands together. “that’s brilliant to hear. i promise i’ll do my best to give those red bulls a fight and make sure we come back as the famous silver arrows.”

she knew she could fix it—find the mistake and redo the equation. and if not for herself, then for him. there was no question in her mind; she was determined. she had never backed down from a challenge before.

#max verstappen x black oc #max verstappen series #max verstappen x oc #max verstappen instagram au #cialovessirlewis #lewis hamilton #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen #mercedes amg petronas #formula one #f1 x female reader #max verstappen x black! oc #max verstappen x black! reader

38 notes · View notes

zurgles · 2 months

Text

I haven’t done a tarot reading in 12 days. I’m gonna do one tomorrow maybe. It’ll be with my Medieval Scapini which I hear is a deck that uses Etteilla meanings. I found a site that has a list of Etteilla meanings so I think I should be good. 👍🏾

My partner left yesterday. We had a lot of fun swimming, eating, playing games like chess, uno, retro mario party on nintendo switch (I actually won!! Ahhh!), and “who am i” or 20 questions. And watching movies and shows like try guys and just talking. And other things. I already miss him T_T

Yesterday I slept the whole day. I don’t know if I was catching up or what. It’s the longest I’ve slept in a long time. I slept most of today up till working too.

I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow morning. We’re gonna do fasting labs and I’m gonna ask about my GI issues.

Also found out recently that I love caesar salads. 🥗 I’d never had it before but I got some at a chinese-american buffet and it was delicious. Yesterday I ordered one from applebees of all places and it was a good caesar “side” salad (also pretty deece garlic mashed potatoes and garlic loaded mashed potatoes). I ordered two more today and ate one for blunchfast and I’m gonna eat the other one tomorrow. I hope the croutons don’t get too soft.

Ordering caesar salads from restaurants is kinda expensive so I’m gonna check out the produce section for salad kits and see if it’s cheaper. I also got recommended some good caesar dressings from my cousin and sister. So I’ll probably grab one of those too.

Yep.

#tarot #personal #food #caesar salad

2 notes · View notes

danganronpasurvivoraskblog · 2 years

Text

PLEASE READ.

//This is important, so it would do me a great service if you stopped and took some time to listen today.

//First of all, I want to apologize in advance that I won’t be going through with one of my promises today. I said yesterday that even though I don’t typically upload on Thursday’s, I would post the conclusion of the fight.

//I lied.

//Or rather things have happened that mean I can’t post angst, because I’m REALLY not in the right mood.

//Let me explain.

//A couple of days ago, on Christmas day, my Dad’s family came round our house for a Christmas Party. The guests included my Aunt, my Uncle, my Cousin, his girlfriend and my Grandmother.

//As you all know if you’ve been following my blog, earlier this year, I lost my grandmother on my Mum’s side of the family due to her poor health.

//The day was really nice and I got to spend a lot of quality time with my family. My grandmother absolutely adores me. She loves hanging out with me, going out shopping and talking about nerd stuff. She can be a bit irritating at times, but overall, she was a lovely woman.

//She’s also done some wonderful things for me over the course of my life. She brought me my Nintendo Switch, she helped me buy my first car, and she’d always be there for me when I was upset or I needed someone to talk to.

//I think it’s pretty obvious where I’m going with this.

//As I was writing today’s chapter of Canzanilla Cafe, my mum delivered the news that she had died in her sleep.

//This is the second beloved grandparent I’ve lost in the span of one year.

//And yesterday, I was even talking to my mum about it, that this year might have been one of the worst years of my life.

//Here’s a few things that happened to me this year, in no particular order:

I was permanently banned from Reddit due to false pedophile accusations.

BOTH of my Grandmother’s passed away.

People who I looked up to, and some of the most important idols of my life lost theirs due to diseases and illness like cancer (Billy Kametz, Kevin Conroy, etc.)

I was told by my driving instructor that despite two and half years of studying, I’m not ready for the actual test, and that I’ve made no progress with my lessons.

I failed one of my first year university courses and had to redo it.

I had to have a catheter inserted due to a long-time infection getting worse recently.

Government issues here in the UK have made simply living life so much more difficult. This winter we had to decide whether we wanted to go hungry or go cold because we didn’t have enough money to pay both bills.

//There are a bunch of other things that happened this year, some of which aren’t on the list because I don’t feel comfortable talking about them. This is only the icing on the cake of the absolutely horrible year I’ve had.

//And the issue is people are always like “don’t worry, next year will be better.” That’s not how it works!

//Life is fucking miserable, and time doesn’t FUCKING change it! It’s always going to suck, and entering a new year isn’t going to automatically fix everything that’s gone wrong recently.

//That aside, I can’t help but laugh at the sheer perfect coincidence that today’s chapter of Canzanilla Cafe just so happened to be about respecting your elders, or at least understanding those who are a different generation than you. I was originally going to put this message in the footnotes of that chapter, but that would mean people wouldn’t read it.

//But that chapter is now going to be more important to me than anything else I’ve posted this year as a result.

//I love my family, I love my parents and grandparents, and I really want to say I love my life, but I have reached a tipping point and I’m not sure how much longer I can put up with all of this.

//I am 20 years old now, and this has been the most miserable I’ve felt in my whole life.

//I need some time to myself, to talk with my family and my friends. As Maya said in yesterday’s post, I need to Disconnect to Reconnect.

//I suggest you do the same.

-Mod

#important notice #mod

16 notes · View notes

onigiri-dorkk · 2 years

Text

Yesterday was so damn fun. First off I want to say that my husband and I have had such a terrible few days after the car accident — it has been stressful making calls, filling out forms, etc all while knowing I quite literally almost died. (I finally saw a doc yesterday and she confirmed I am totally okay, and that I really just got lucky. Wow)

We knew we needed something to give us a sense of excitement and normalcy again. So yesterday, I busted out my Rivamika shirt, wore my Scouts jacket, threw on my red scarf, and gave my husband this fanfic prep presentation 😭 He was DYING laughing when I came out w the outfit!

I told him about my fanfic, and that there is info he needs to know and learn before reading my story. He was SO excited 😂 When I got to the part about Ackerman’s being Titan DNA experiments (which is not a spoiler to an anime-only; they just chose not to animate it for some reason?) he was pretty much mind blown. I even presented Isayama’s family tree and explained the entire history of Ackermans to Subjects of Ymir to Eldians to clarify that Levi and Mikasa are not closely related, they aren’t cousins, Mikasa’s dad is not linked to Kenny/grandpa, and emphasized the 145+ generations between the start of Ackermans and the final two: Mikasa and Levi.

Moving on! After the presentation part 1, I sent him the link to my story. Forgetting that AO3 is not a familiar platform to all, he ended up reading all the tags right up front and he gasped and said “SEXUAL TENSION?” 😂 I had fun explaining to him I took this story to a much more Mature storyline to make it more believable and movie-like. He was excited 😂

Then he read the summary!! And after he did he was like “OHHHHHHH so this is why you had to clarify that they’re not linked!” I said YESSSS

The next 20 mins of him reading my first chapter was a pain in the butt because I had to refrain from wanting to stare at his face/reactions 😭😂 But after he was done he had a huge smile on his face. Basically told me he loves it (and I was forcing him to be totally honest w me) and he said that he is so impressed with how it’s written. (He is reading a League of Legends novel right now and expressed that my style of writing is comparable… basically he said he didn’t expect it to be so well written 🥺). He said he’s hecka proud of me and can’t wait to read the rest. He also said that his favorite parts were their internal dialogues, and my descriptions — he said I am a romantic (in a good way) and that the romanticism comes out 😭 I said “is it too cheesy for you?” and he said no he LOVES it 😭

I asked him if he was shocked that I ship Levi and Mikasa, and he actually (to my surprise) said yes! Only because he knows that when I’m passionate about something, I talk about it — but this, he’s only maybe heard me mention something about it once in passing. I don’t totally know his full personal thoughts about the ship dynamic just yet, but this is where my Presentation Prt 2 comes in 😂 Where I give explanation to why exactly I ship Levi and Mikasa, their relationship dynamic, canon panels and scenes of them, their parallels!

I also asked for fun “did you kind of get that I don’t ship Mikasa with Eren” and he said “Oh, YEAH. I’ve always known you hated how he treats her and stuff” 😂 I said “right? Don’t you think Mikasa deserves better????” (He also said he caught on to this because of how much I ship Eren x Historia lolol so he figured I don’t love Eren x Mikasa)

He also said “now when we rewatch AoT especially season 4, I’m gonna see Levi and Mikasa as really close/he loves her” 😭

That was the much needed fun of yesterday. It feels so good to finally have him read something I worked so hard on. We’re very transparent w each other so I felt like this was a side of myself I’ve had to hide from him, which felt very unusual. But the fact that he gets to enjoy it alongside me now is so fun!!

He wants to read one chapter a day to savor it, read comments, etc. So now I’m like awaiting day 6 when he reads the initial ~spice-esque~ scene between Levi and Mikasa 😂 I don’t think he has ever read a line of smut before so we will see what he thinks Day 15 LOOOL. I think he’ll be shocked but I think he’ll enjoy it 😂

Anyway, just wanted to share the experience with y’all LOLOLOL maybe I’ll write a series of his reactions to the chapters/story. New hashtag? #onigirihusband ?? 😂

#personal #onigirihusband #rivamika #levimika #levi x mikasa #mikasa x levi #levimikasa #onigiriwrites

13 notes · View notes

agardenandlibrary · 2 years

Text

I posted 10,450 times in 2022

That's 3,620 more posts than 2021!

880 posts created (8%)

9,570 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@agardenandlibrary

@longsightmyth

@do-you-have-a-flag

@inneskeeper

@spaceshipkat

I tagged 2,997 of my posts in 2022

#cara rags on fba - 382 posts

#myth rags on fba - 134 posts

#cara reads wot - 113 posts

#my book picture - 102 posts

#wheel of time - 64 posts

#cara reads the dragon reborn - 58 posts

#discworld - 56 posts

#cara podcasts - 51 posts

#star trek - 51 posts

#cara reads 2022 - 50 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i straight up thought my aunt was gonna announce her divorce!! she starts off talking about getting married the day mt st helen's exploded!!

My Top Posts in 2022:

episode 3 of pride and prejudice 1995 may be the funniest

“shelves in the closet? happy thought indeed”

“i thought at least the pigs had gotten into the garden”

“what - *camera zooms in on lady catherine* - all your sisters out at once?”

“colonel fitzwilliam why is your cousin staring at me” - darcy comes over and makes awkward small talk. colonel fitzwilliam smirks at lizzie like “he’s got it bad, girlfriend”

“if i had ever learnt [to play piano] i would have been a true proficient”

colonel fitzwilliam sitting back to watch the carnage as lizzie goes for darcy’s throat. darcy’s little smirk as he says “I am not afraid of you”

darcy rolls his eyes when lady catherine interrupts his flirt-fest with lizzie

I had to pause it for a while but in the last 15 minutes of this episode:

Darcy’s first attempt to propose where he mostly tries to communicate his feelings via intense staring

lizzie brings up that jane is in london and for one second you can see darcy go “wait... does she know that i’ve ruined jane’s chances with bingley? no, no it’s cool, i’ve covered my tracks”

darcy and lizzie having two moments of agreeing on a point: when they roast mr. collins and when they say how great charlotte is

“you would not wish to always be near longbourn” lasjldfalsdf you’re NOT SMOOTH

then he just BAILS like “OH NO I’VE SAID TOO MUCH”

when col. fitzwilliam meets up with lizzie in the park I think he’s trying to talk up darcy, like “oh yeah, my cousin’s hot for this girl, i’ll be a good wingman” then he’s like “actually what if we roasted darcy a little, we had fun with that yesterday”

next day darcy comes back and lizzie’s like “fuck it, he can carry the conversation this time, i’m annoyed as hell with him and he hates me anyway”

AND THEN HE GOES FOR THE WORST PROPOSAL IN THE WHOLE SERIES AND I’M INCLUDING MR. COLLINS’ ATTEMPT, OKAY?

the LOOK she gives him. and she’s POLITE. DEVASTATINGLY POLITE in her refusal. and he’s gotta ask, he’s gotta know why and lizzie’s like “SINCE YOU FUCKING ASKED, ACTUALLY, HERE’S MY LIST OF GRIEVANCES, listed chronologically from most recent --”

*blank stare* “and this is your opinion of me”

when he leaves the doorknob squeaks and I feel like he fumbled that in his panic

lizzie left standing in the cottage going "what the fuck just happened"

625 notes - Posted April 19, 2022

I'm casually looking up information about the Wild Hunt and I just found this:

there's a Motif-Index of Folk Literature?!

There are multiple motif-indices?

See the full post

730 notes - Posted March 2, 2022

okay the reason the “darcy wet t-shirt contest” scene works in p&p1995 as a fan service scene is because we’ve spent 3.5hrs watching these people be incredibly buttoned up and correct and suddenly Lizzie is in his HOUSE ogling his PORTRAIT and his WELL MAINTAINED LAWNS and then there’s the man himself and he’s in a wet shirt and you can see that he has skin? under his clothes? is that chest hair?!

lizzie literally stares at his tits for a solid two seconds before she’s like “oh god his eyes are up there”

1,724 notes - Posted April 19, 2022

I'm going to make a collection of quotes about Anne Elliot that make me clutch my heart in sorrow

Half the sum of attraction, on either side, might have been enough, for he had nothing to do, and she had hardly anybody to love;

She had been forced into prudence in her youth, she learned romance as she grew older -- the natural sequel of an unnatural beginning.

"I cannot possible do without Anne," was Mary's reasoning; and Elizabeth's reply was, "Then I am sure Anne had better stay. for nobody will want her in Bath." To be claimed as a good, though in an improper style, is at least better than being rejected as no good at all.

She knew that when she played [piano] she was giving pleasure only to herself; but this was no new sensation: excepting one short period of her life, she had never, since the age of fourteen, never since the loss of her dear mother, known the happiness of being listened to, or encouraged by any just appreciation or real taste. In music she had been always used to feel alone in the world.

1,893 notes - Posted June 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I love Cecil. He's like "incomprehensible horrors happen every day! Not to me though :)" and then they do happen to him and he's like "WHAT THE F–" every. time.

2,309 notes - Posted April 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#cara reads 2022 #lmao about that longest tag #also a good year for jane austen posts I guess!#april was a good month for me lol

5 notes · View notes

dearfriend-ijustneedtotalk · 2 years

Text

Dear Friend,

My name is not actually Connor, however I'd really like to keep myself anonymous. I’m not quite sure how to start this letter off so I think I’m just going to start with why I’m writing them. My mom was recently diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, she was rushed back to a hospital a week or so ago and she is now basically on life support. She is sedated in a medically induced coma most of the time so that she won’t cough and she’s still been receiving treatment. Me and my twin sister went to visit her and she was awake while we were there, she could shake her head and nod and even give a thumbs up, however she could not move that much and she had a breathing tube down her throat so she couldn’t talk. The Doctors met with us and told us that she would probably not live two years, I should probably mention that both me and my sisters are currently sophomores in highschool and we are both 15, which means she probably will not live to see us graduate. Recently however, it seems as though she is getting somewhat better, she might live a couple years if we are very lucky. Our dad left when we were very young, five years old, so temporary custody was given to my mom’s closest friend. We go to stay there at night. Our father came down yesterday and is staying for a week. We are not happy about this, we don’t particularly like him and we’re uncomfortable around him. He lives in another state pretty far away, and if our mom does pass away before we turn 18 then he would most likely make us move to that state with him. Me and my sister do not like this. Our cousin, who’ve we called auntie since we were little, lives close to us, and my sister and I were thinking of asking her if our mom passes away if she would take custody of us until we turn 18, we hope she’ll say yes. My AP English teacher has been very understanding of this all and extends deadlines for us which I really appreciate. He's my favorite teacher. Another teacher at the school that I’ve known since I was in the sixth grade gave me a hug and that felt really nice. I think I should tell you why I’m writing these letters. I want people who are going through similar things to know they aren’t alone, but there is a more selfish reason. This summer I read The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, and I felt that writing to someone who I do not know, would help me process everything that is going on. I think I’m going to end this letter now. Have a very great day.

Love always,

Connor

#lung health #lung cancer #terminal

3 notes · View notes

carmenized-onions · 3 months

Text

Ad Interim. | No Service

logline; The days and doubts and desires; the air, underneath the shoe.

[!!!] series history, this is the ninth; the amount of links are getting nauseating just go to the landing LMAO.

Spotify Playlist, if you like to listen while you read. I listen to it when I write :) Constantly gettin’ added to. I listen to this playlist too much in my day to day now, fr.

portion; 3k+

possible allergies; you're almost ten chapters in, you know very well by now that these two are rife with anxiety and insecurity.

pairing; Carmen ‘Carmy’ Berzatto & Fem Reader (gets she/her'd mb)

fun fact: i finished this one 19 hours after the last chapter, whoops, but let it sit in my drafts to give some breathing room and do some rework

It is t-minus three days, until the worst Friday of your life.

But today’s Tuesday, and though you feel a touch uneasy, you figure it’s probably just the breakfast from yesterday at La Mattina settling in your stomach— Or, at least, hope it is.

You’re at home, sitting on your couch, pensive, haggard, leaned over. Elbows to knees, prayer hands to face, staring at your phone on the coffee table in front of you.

Just send it. Just send the text. Don’t be a fucking wuss. You’ve re-written it in your notes app like five fucking times— He does not care this much, he doesn’t even have basic reading comprehension— Okay, that’s mean— But it’s just not that deep. Just fucking! Send it!

Actually no, no, upon sixth review, the paragraph you had written out was way too intense, way too presumptive. Backspace, backspace, backspace—Just say hi. Let’s just start with Hi.

‘Yooooooooo’

Are you fucking possessed? Good Lord. How is he already typing he never used to reply this fast, what the fuck—

‘Are u fucking haunted?’

‘Fuck is yooooooo’

‘Yooo to you too, cousin’

Faster texter now, but Richie is still the same guy, at the end of the day.

‘this is a loaded fucking question’

‘but do you think you’ll be free any time this week?’

‘not unless ur dead or dying’

‘are you dead or dying?’

‘not that I’ve heard’

‘but I was thinking maybe we could like, get food or smth’

‘chat one on one. Been a minute, yknow’

That was too much. You didn’t need to do all that. Now he’s gonna go well who’s fault is that? And it’s yours. You know it’s yours. And then you’re gonna have that fucking conversation— Which is what this whole meet up thing was supposed to be about in the first place—

‘heard’

‘can’t get time off but fak needs to have his training wheels ripped’

‘could have dinner at the bear this week? Like 2 hours. Then I can watch him and keep him from shitting the bed’

‘and still get to do a fucking one on one, you corporate speak ass’

‘I didn’t know how else to fucking say it alright!!!!!!’

‘Dinner @ bear sounds good to me’

‘but probably ask carm/syd first if it’s cool’

‘yea yea I’ll fuckin check in with daddy don’t worry’

‘that sucked for me. That sucked to read. Go to jail.’

‘already have.’

‘I’ll let u know a time when I know. See u chip’

You heart it. The classic signal that it’s the end of a conversation. Holy shit. You did it. You actually texted someone that you miss that you miss them— Not directly, but you know Rich knows. And specifically, to book a dinner, to talk about what happened, to apologize for it. That’s pretty fucking huge. Which means—

It’s time to eat a whole freezer cake and lay in your pyjamas all day and interact with not a single soul on this entire planet. You’re absolutely at your social limit, for the day. Maybe you’ll talk it through with Mikey, actually. To the air, more accurately, but, y’know, same thing.

You’re gonna get dinner with Richie. You’re gonna get dinner, with Richie, this Friday. And it’s not gonna be awkward or weird, at all.

It is t-minus two days, until the worst Friday of Carmen’s life, so far, at least. There’s always next year.

But today’s Wednesday, and though he feels a little nerve-wracked, he’s pretty sure it’s just because the kitchen was so fucking dysfunctional this morning, and now that their prep’s off, the tempo of the whole fucking day is off, and they're behind on two tables. And fucking seriously this time, can someone get him a fucking marker that fucking works.

Okay, maybe it’s a little more, than nerve wracked.

Sydney is ever the intuitive, and always correct, at the station next to him— Because yes, they’re still down a hire since the meth guy, so now Carmen is on line.

She can tell, that somethings wrong with him, something’s always wrong with him. “Take your ten, Chef.”

Carmen shakes his head, obviously, there’s still prep to catch up on. And if he doesn't do it, it's not gonna get done, and even if it does get done, it's not gonna get done right. He’s pressing the dead sharpie down on the tape, like if he just brute forces it, it’ll start to work. “M’good, Chef.”

“Carmen.” She turns to him fully, stopping her work. And so, he does too. “Take your fucking ten.” She deadpans, she’s not taking no for an answer. She rubs her fist over her heart.

Carmen takes a beat, before nodding, doing the same. “Heard, Chef.”

He needs to look over expense reports that he can’t quite comprehend, anyways.

He really needs his sister. He steps into his office. Despite the fact that they re-constructed just about everything in the restaurant, this musty office remains the same. Untouched. After caving down walls, they had to cut the budget somewhere. He’s glad though, that it's untouched. It might be crowded, poorly organized, have an off smell (probably because of the birth in here, just a few weeks back), but it’s exactly as his brother left it, and that helps him feel… Connected, somehow.

What the hell is Var vs Budget? He’s googling every other word, here. He’s more than grateful, that before going home on mat leave, Sug set up a good enough automated Excel sheet that he could just plug in numbers and it did all the calculating for him. Doesn’t mean he knows what any of the numbers mean, but, they’re there.

He knows that red equals bad. Natalie told him that very specifically. Which did seem like she was calling him fucking stupid, but he let it go. There’s a lot of red. That’s a lot of bad. Well, not a lot, but like, a third of this is red. That’s probably more than it should be. How many months do they have again? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

He is never gonna get to pay himself, he’s never gonna be able to pay Syd, he's never gonna get her a star, she’s gonna live with her dad for the rest of her life, you are never gonna get to work here, you’re gonna work as a bottle girl for the rest of your life, he’s never gonna get his shit together so he’s never gonna get to call you his, he’s gonna have to hand the deed to Cicero and then fucking everyone is gonna to lose their jobs and he’s still gonna be him. He’s still gonna be him. Carmy Berzatto, the chef that lost everything, little brother to everyone's hero who blew his brains out. Starless in Chicago, unable to feel anything more than sorry for himself. Carmen’s gonna die as Carmen, and nothing more. At the end of the day.

Take a deep breath, Bear. Relax.

He’s catastrophizing. You told him that. He forgot to look into it. He googles that, instead of another business term he doesn’t understand.

‘Fixates on the worst possible outcome and treats it as likely, even when it is not.’

Well, it does seem pretty fucking likely that he’s doomed to fail and fall into a Sisyphean nightmare of opening restaurants and falling on his fucking face, dragging everyone he loves down with him with his stupid failed pipe dreams. He's no better than his brother.

He tries his best to think of whatever level-headed bullshit you'd give to him, right now, tries to taste the hot chocolate, the lavender and cardamom coffee. He smells your shampoo, in his hair, that helps.

Maybe, maybe it’s just been a bad week. Maybe there will be a lot of bad weeks, maybe there won’t be. Maybe things will be fine, maybe they won’t. You and Syd will still succeed, even if he fails. Everyone will, even if he fails. He has a very capable crew. And while he cannot escape the thought that failure is around the corner, at the very least, he is comforted by the idea that at least he will be the only one sinking with the ship he commands.

The thought of drowning alone is still impossible to rid of. Though.

But you’ve sent a text. And isn’t that a wonderful distraction?

Your connection results in response to his, from this morning, of course. You actually got it today. He swells with what feels like pride, and despite the fact that no one's looking at him, he has to hide his smile with his hand, embarrassed by how happy he is, when he sees the photo you’ve sent, just now. A selfie, sitting next to an oven, Other Tony’s oven. You’re holding a fried wire in your hand.

The text below it is a wonderful salve, ‘If you ever fuck up your ovens, I’ve got like, 10 thermocouples in my personal stock now :))’

So good to him, too good to him. Too good to anyone. ‘Heard.’

Carmen so, so fucking desperately wants to ask you to come to The Bear, right now. You’re only two blocks away, at La Mattina. You’d come, if he asked. He knows that. But he also knows that even if you calm him down, in the long run, it’ll set his day even further off tempo, he’ll be distracted the rest of his shift, and that’s the last thing he needs. He can handle this himself.

‘:)’ For levity. Or something. He’s trying. You give it a heart, so that means he’s done something good, he’s pretty sure.

There’s a knock at his door. Richie does not wait for an answer before coming in. His knocks are more like warnings, really. Carmen’s quick to tuck his phone away, he knows it’d be perfect cannon fodder to be teased into oblivion.

“Aye, cous—”

Carmen does not let the man get a word in inch wise, “Who’s on expo?”

Richie grimaces, this fucking song and dance, again. “Syd.”

“Who’s on her station, then?”

“T.”

“And hers?”

“She’s doin’ fuckin’ both Carmy— And—” Richie pulls a sharpie out of his breast pocket, throwing it at him. Carmen catches it. “Fuckin’ works. Alright?”

Marker works, and the system works. He catches the double meaning, too. Carmen nods, “Heard.”

“Christ.” Richie looks to high heaven, looks to his best friend, really, to give him strength. “Can I take my fuckin’ turn now?”

“Yeah, yeah, go ‘head.” Carmen turns to his desk, looking over the excel sheet, again. He can’t imagine Richie needing all of his undivided attention, right now, he’s not you.

Speaking of you, he can’t find your repair expenses anywhere on here. He needs to text Sug, about that. No, she’s got a fucking baby, he’ll at least look for a physical copy, first.

“I need to take two hours, on Friday.”

“Huh?” Carm’s head snaps up. Okay, maybe he does need to give his full attention to Richie, right now. “Eva got a fuckin’ recital, or somethin’?”

“No, no, uh— Chip wants to get dinner.” Rich scratches his nose with his thumb. “Thought since Fak's been training to host f'like, the whole fuckin’ month, could do dinner 'ere, let him do a run on us. Two birds, one bullet, y’know.”

“It’s stone.”

“I’m not fuckin’ high, cousin—” “No, it’s— Alright.” Carmen closes his eyes, hand over his face, deciding this is not the fight he wants to choose. “Tony’s getting dinner with you?”

“If I’m allowed, your fuckin’ Majesty.”

If it were up to Carmen? He wouldn’t be. But you specifically asked. Why, he has no idea. Carmen crosses his arms. “Yeah, yeah, s’fine. Just start at like, a not peak time. Like 4:30? Then when rush starts after 5 Fak’ll have a lil' momentum.”

“Heard. I’ll tell ‘em.” Richie nods, turning to make his way out.

Carm’s leg bounces, a tick that he’s pretty sure he’ll never get rid of. “… Ey Rich?”

He stops, turning back to Carmy, “Yeah, cousin?”

Carmen taps the end of the sharpie on the table, not looking at Richie, “What’s uh— Why d’you call Tony ‘Chip’?”

Ever so slightly, Richie’s brows furrow. “Did'j'ya ask her?”

Carm shakes his head, “S’why I’m asking you.”

Richie takes a beat, head rocking to the side, “Y'should ask her, she’ll tell you.”

Carmy squints, at that, “Is it fuckin’ dark or somethin’, cousin?”

What’s so secretive about Chip? He figured it would be some stupid inside joke with chocolate chips, like Sug with the salt mix up. Richie swallows, frowning just a bit. He clearly does not know how to answer this question, which just makes Carmen even more curious.

“S’ not dark, kinda, it’s just, y’know. Personal.” Since when the fuck did Richie have respect for personal? Probably since he sent him to stage. Goddammit.

“Did you not coin it?”

“Mikey did.”

Oh.

Huh.

Mikey got to do that first, too, eh?

“But, y’know, ask her, she likes you well enough to tell you, I think.” Richie shrugs, palms out. “Kinda tells stories like that better than me, anyways.” That's high praise— Not in the sense that Richie's a great storyteller, but that he's willing to admit it, for you.

“Oh, she doesn’t bury the fuckin’ lead?”

“Oh, fuck you.” But it’s true, so Richie’s amused. There’s something nice, about being known. Even if it’s to tease.

There’s a lull of silence. Quite frankly, Carmen’s hoping that Richie’s general disdain of silence will force him to confess your nickname backstory, just to fill the void. It doesn’t. Instead, it just gears him up, in the worst way, able to read the look on Carmen’s face.

“You really wanna fuckin know, huh?” Richie tilts down his head, teasing. Carmen groans. Oh dear god, why him. “Oh, fuck, you fuckin’ like her, don’t’chu, cousin? You fuckin’ dog.”

“Shut the fuck up, Rich—”

“Aye, Chip’s a real catch, I gettit— Works hard, plays nice, cleans up good— Y’have my blessing.”

“Didn’t ask for it.”

“Aye,” Richie snaps his fingers, pointing at Carmen like he could smite him. “Don’t gimme no talk back, she was my boy first, a’right? One bad word from me, n’ your lil’ fantasy—” He gestures an explosion with his hand, making a ‘pop’ sound with his lips.

“Gone, cousin.”

Carmen leans back in his seat, playing with the sharpie in his hand. He’s essentially Kubrick staring down Richie, but the guy is unaffected. “Friday, 4:30, two hours. If Fak fucks up, you’re on deck.”

“Heard.”

“Jeff, can I please get an all day, baby?” Baby is Tina’s new HR approved version of ‘for the love of fucking god’ She’s definitely at her limit, meaning Syd’s definitely at her limit on expo. Richie starts to step out, walking backwards.

“You comin’ cousin?”

Carm scratches his nose, straightening up back to his desk. He wishes he could go back to the kitchen, where he knows he’s good, instead of in here, with some goddamn spreadsheets that he cannot comprehend beyond bad. “Uh, one sec, I just need to finish this fuckin’—” He shakes his hand in the air, “Whatever the fuck this is.”

Richie nods, tapping the doorway on his way out. “Heard… g’luck.”

Carmen does not look at the spreadsheets. No. He thinks. He doesn't think about business.

That wasn’t true, was it? A phone call from Richie wouldn’t be the end of him, end of you, would it? Carmen is on the losing playing field here, practically everyone here has more history with you than he does. If he had a… lapse in behaviour, and it got back to you, would that ruin him? God, even his work family ruins things for him. Or could. Which means they will. Catastrophizing.

Whatever. What the fuck ever. He needs to find your invoice. After some flipping through last month’s file, he finds a sticky note from Sug between loose pages.

‘reminder: ask carmy 4 tony invoice’

He squints. You said Nat took care of it. Maybe it’s an old sticky note, he’ll text her about it, it’ll be a solid forty hours before he’ll get a response, anyways. Mom stuff. He really needs to go visit his niece again, soon. Maybe this weekend. Take Richie’s car. But then he'll probably will be forced to take Richie, too. Maybe he should just ask you, instead. Let Nat thank you for the heating pad she’s been loving, properly. Have dinner, all together, in an actual family home, instead of just each other's apartments. That'd be nice.

Yeah. Yeah. He’ll ask you on Friday, when you come for dinner. He grabs a pad of paper, biting the cap off his sharpie. He’ll make you something off menu, on Friday. You’re coming before the rush, anyways, he’ll have time to play, on Friday.

He’s gonna do right by you, this Friday.

Tomorrow, you’ll be getting dinner with Richie, and it’ll be the worst Friday of your life.

But right now, it’s Thursday night, and you’ve finally finished Carmen’s piece for The Bear. You know you told him if he didn’t like it, he didn’t have to put it up, but admittedly, if he doesn’t like it, you will be crushed.

One big white canvas.

Nine perfect squares, perfectly equidistant from each other at all angles.

Each square a snippet, a photo transfer. The squares themselves are messy, sun damaged, bleach stained, light flared. All twinged blue and yellowish. But so perfectly cut and curated.

Each image, something new. Starting at the top left, it’s The Original Beef. Then, the inside. Then the booths.

Then the second row, the sandwiches, held in hands.

The center photo. You've taken almost all of these photos on a disposable from yesteryear, but this is the one you like the most.

Mikey. The only transfer completely unbleached, unaltered, unruined. He’s holding two cut outs. One, Food & Wine and the other, a small section in the off off off pages of the New York Times.

Both specifically the one’s that mentioned Carmen, winning Best Chef and the James Beard.

Mikey was so proud. So so proud, silently, just with you— Couldn't look soft. Carmen does not know this photo exists. No one does. You hope this piece will act as the catalyst for you to be able to talk about the elephant in the room you’ve yet to open for him.

Right next to Mikey, is a balloon on a pipe— A photo you grabbed from Sydney and printed. You can only imagine the stress you could’ve eased, during their fire safety test. C’est la vie. Fak got to prove himself.

And on the last row, the new, ritzy, booths. The Seven Fishes dish— Also a photo you stole from Sydney. And finally, The Bear’s sign. Taken at night, lit up in all its neon glory.

Though the images are disconnected, starting from Mikey in the center— Clean, the flaring and staining grows more intense at the pictures in the corner. Just bordering on illegible. It all feels interconnected, woven.

It’s Carmen. Or, at least, you think it is. That’s what you were trying to achieve. You took inspiration from the way his brain works, the way he cooks messy but produces orderly, the way he’s grown something out of what was barely more than nothing. The way love and grief is at the center of everything. He’s awfully inspiring.

You’re excited, to show this to him tomorrow, on Friday. Hopefully all goes well, on Friday. You’re coming before the rush, you’ll probably have a little time to talk, on Friday. You won’t be able to get into everything, no, you’ve promised most of your bandwidth to Richie, but you’ll make a good start, on Friday.

You’re gonna do right, by Carmen, on Friday.

Tomorrow.

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

i've still got 2k of beats to cover for the next chapter, and have 7.9k already written out, for it. This is going to be fun. lmao. I'm genuinely very very excited for you to see it, when it comes out. Cannot believe I thought like 4 chapters ago that'd this next chapter would be the one to be released next. I almost briefed over all of these past few chapters to be nothing more than snippets in a chapter, I would never forgive myself if i went through with that plan, fr.

Anyways, no time for the future, this is NOW!! I hope I described Tony's paintin' good. I think it'd be nice. MBMBAM reference in the intro, are you fucking HAUNTED? ARE YOU FUCKING POSESSED? Love griffy, had to. Carmen CANNOT stop having anxiety attacks, someone get him on prozac frfr.

Tell me your thoughts or I'll eat my hat, I'm gonna need some words to chew on while I write, anyways. Hitting a wall choreographing this back half of chapter ten my GOD. Also oh yeah, silly aesthetic thing. I dunno if anyone noticed or cared, but i do a different ombre banner when it's carmen's perspec-- Did it last chapter too, aint that cute?

Also, I must finally give in, I was lazy to do taglists, but have folded, so here u are mfs. If you'd like to be added, you gotta leave me an essay somewhere. It's the RULES! Well, leave an essay and also ask to be added to the taglist that is but IT'S THE RULES!!

@anytim3youwant @navs-bhat @whoknowswhoiamtoday @gills-lounge @slut4supersoldiers @sinceweremutual @itsallacotar @catsrdabestsocks101

fully added people that never asked to be on here, you're just like, top fans, so i thought it would be nice, but if you WANT TO BE TAKEN OFF LET ME KNOW I'LL DO IT IMMEDIATELY ALSO IF I'M FORGETTING ANYONE WHO ASKED PLEASE DO REMIND ME

Next Part

#carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto imagine #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmen x reader #carmy berzatto #carmen x oc #carmen berzatto x female reader #carmy x reader #the bear fanfiction #the bear x reader #the bear fx #the bear hulu #the bear #fanfic series

321 notes · View notes

staytheb · 11 months

Text

Just A Little Bit; Falling For You - Chapter Four: spring term

Word Count: 6,229 Summary: Spring term has started and Melanie has a rumored about dating Jake already. The cousins participate in a White Day event due to two of their friends and Ni-Ki catches on. Serena gets caught by Heeseung upon delivering a love letter for Sunghoon written by Linna. previous chapter || next chapter

updated: 6.1.24

"So, when did you write Jake a confession letter?" Linna asked Melanie, joining her at one of the two university's libraries.

They were currently at the Central Library for their Thursday's tutoring session as the spring term's been in session for about two weeks now. The pair had tutoring every Tuesdays and Thursdays after their classes were done for the day. Melanie cast her cousin with a puzzled look.

"I've never wrote him one." Melanie clarified with a weird look.

"What makes you think I wrote a confession letter to Jake?"

"Oh, so you didn't give him a love letter?"

Linna shot her cousin a weird look, too, as Melanie shook her head.

"No, I didn't."

However, she cast her cousin with a look.

"What makes you think I gave him one?"

"Well, that's what I've been hearing all around campus all day today."

A giggle escaped from Linna's lips before continuing.

"Well, more amongst the female population though."

She gave her cousin a pointed look.

"They're the one talking about it and wouldn't stop either."

Melanie rolled her eyes before explaining upon recalling the said event.

"Oh okay. I remember now."

She sighed.

"So, technically I did give Jake one, but I didn't write it."

Another sigh left Melanie's lips.

"This girl, Kim Nara, from my Tuesday and Thursday class kept insisting I give it to him and basically just shoved it in my hand while running off afterward."

Linna's brows furrowed.

"Okay, but why you though?"

"Because we're close and he and I have a Monday and Wednesday class, too."

"That's it?"

"Yeah, I think so."

Melanie shrugged.

"Honestly, I don't really know, but Kim Nara didn't have the courage to give it to him and thought I could be of help."

Another sigh escaped Melanie's lips.

"I gave it to him the same day she gave it to me when I happened to see him during school, but she didn't identify who she was in the letter."

"Really?"

"Mmhmm. So, that left him to give it back to me yesterday since I was the one that gave it to him."

Linna quietly laughed at the whole thing as Melanie rolled her eyes, slightly annoyed.

"Apparently, Jake corrected her grammatical errors and she's blaming me."

"You read it?"

"I basically skimmed it, thinking it was math notes until I actually stared at the words because he didn't put it back in it's envelope and the letter looked normal, too."

Linna giggled as Melanie rolled her eyes again while casting her cousin a pointed look.

"Anyway, shouldn't you be with your own tutor by now?"

Linna giggled again.

"Well, Yonghee's running a little late today, but that's why I'm just bugging you until then."

"Must be nice."

Linna's tutor, Kim Yonghee, was actually Serena's ex-boyfriend back when they were in their first year of high school although they attended different high schools at the time while dating for less than a year. They broke up amicably before the start of their second year and remained friends of sort to this day.

"Don't worry, Youngseo."

Linna grinned mischievously.

"Jake will be here soon to accompany you."

Melanie frowned as she swatted at a giggling Linna.

"Stop. Do I need to bring up Sunghoon for you."

Linna stopped giggling, scowling.

"Please, no."

"That's what I thought.

"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, we're meeting our sisters at Simplistic after tutoring's done since they're helping their favorite person with an art assignment at the moment."

"I did not sign up for this." Serena grumbled while painting.

"I can't believe I got roped into this somehow."

"Nah, for real." Kierra agreed as she, too, was painting.

"Why are we even here in the first place?"

"Ni-Ki tricked us some how." Serena commented, giggling.

"I did not. Y'all agreed, but just forgot." Ni-Ki clarified.

"Oh, right."

The two recalled that moment when he asked him for their help last week. Anyway, the pair were helping Ni-Ki with his art banner while in one of the art rooms and it's been less than an hour since they started.

"Don't you have other friends that can help you?" Kierra questioned despite enjoying herself.

"I do, but they're busy and you two are never busy." Ni-Ki answered with a knowing smile, still painting.

"What makes you think that?" Serena asked, pausing in mid-coloring.

Ni-Ki didn't look up as he continued to paint the outline of his main character in the center of the banner.

"Because the two of you have no life besides work and school."

"True." The pair agreed, chuckling.

The trio continued to work until Ni-Ki got bored and ended up fingerpainting onto his two friends.

"Yah! Nishimura Riki?!"

Both wiped off the paint from their cheeks and glared at him. Ni-Ki laughed with a cheeky look, clearly enjoying what he had just done. Just as the pair were about to retaliate with Ni-Ki about to make a run for it, the classroom's doors opened revealing Heeseung and Jay.

"Yo, Ni-Ki! We're here."

"Yeah, let's hurry so we can get to dance practice."

Both parties just stared at one another until Serena broke the silence.

"Alright, cool then."

She pointed between herself and her cousin.

"Hayoun and I are gonna go now."

Serena softly smacked Ni-Ki on the right cheek with her left hand that was painted yellow to get back at him.

"Oh, yes, let's go."

Kierra did the same thing, but with her right hand against his left cheek, leaving a red handprint. The cousins admired their artwork with a grin.

"Ooh, very nice."

"Such a lovely artwork."

The two giggled while they pressed their painted hands onto the canvas.

"Now, that's leaving a mark." Kierra commented as she and Serena chuckled.

"Yes, definitely a mark for sure."

The pair glanced at Ni-Ki.

"Later."

"Wait." Ni-Ki called out to them.

"Nah." The pair responded, laughing.

They ignored him while waving at Ni-Ki.

"Okay, buh-bye!"

Both grabbed their belongings with their clean hands, shot a smile at Heeseung and Jay before dashing out of the classroom to wash off the rest of the paint as they laughed along the way. Jay and Heeseung stared after the duo with an amused smile before focusing their attention onto Ni-Ki.

"So, to be honest..."

He shrugged nonchalant while shaking his head with a sheepish laugh as he wiped off the paint from his cheeks.

"I actually don't have that much left to do."

Melanie was working on a few math problems, using the formula that Jake had to re-explain to her as she didn't quite understand it in class on Tuesday, when she felt eyes on her a moment later. She briefly glanced up to see Jake staring at her with a small smile.

"Uh, yes?"

She seemed hesitant in saying something.

"How's it going?" He asked as he flashed her a friendly smile.

"Much easier, Jake. Thanks."

She returned the same gesture yet hoped he would look elsewhere. For some reason, before any of this, she hadn't minded, but not all of a sudden, she did.

"No problem, Youngseo."

Her eyes returned to her paper yet the feeling of being stared at remained, but not as strongly as before and didn't comment on it. Melanie quickly finished the rest of the problems before handing it over for Jake to review. Just then the timer on his phone went off, signaling the end of their tutoring session.

"Ah, sorry. It seems our session ends here." He apologized as she shook her head.

Melanie actually didn't mind it all too much that it was now over.

"It's okay, but thank you for the much needed help."

"Yeah, I don't mind, Youngseo." Jake said in a cheery tone.

"You're easy to teach and learn quickly than others."

Just before he handed Melanie her paper back, Jake quickly took a photo of it.

"I'll review your work after dance practice and let you know if something is wrong."

"Awesome, and no rush. This isn't due until next Thursday anyway."

"Okay, cool."

The pair collected their materials, packed up their things, and headed to the entrance of the library together.

"I'll see you in class next Monday then, yeah?"

Jake cast Melanie with another friendly smile as she briefly nodded.

"Yeah, Jake, see you then."

She flashed him a smile.

"Take care."

"Later, Youngseo."

He shot her another smile before heading off first even glancing back to shoot her another wave and smile.

"Yeah."

She felt some type of way when he did that as he's never done that before. Still, Melanie just remained calm, cool, and collect about it while letting out a deep breath.

"This is ridiculous." She muttered, shaking her head.

Melanie turned the other way, ran a hand through her hair, and knew that her sister and older cousin would tease her about the so-called rumor going around about her and Jake if it spread that much at all. Then again, it might not be all that since only one person would've cared as Kim Nara was the concerned party and probably got offended about the whole love letter situation.

"So you and Jake are lovers now or something like that now?"

Serena directed her attention onto her sister with a teasing look as Kierra gasped playfully.

"Wow. I can't believe you didn't tell us that you and Jake are an item now."

Linna snickered at the situation as Melanie rolled her eyes at the older two.

"It's not even like that." Melanie scoffed.

"Where did you even hear that from?"

The quartet were having snacks and drinks at their workplace in a corner booth, away from others as to not distract their co-workers.

"Minseo and I overheard this group of girls talking at the school gate when we left earlier." Kierra explained with a giggle.

"Seems serious yet not so serious."

"Seriously, people love to gossip." Melanie mumbled, annoyed.

"What else did they say?" Linna probed, interested.

Kierra replied nonchalantly.

"One of them was upset about spelling corrections on a letter and that he couldn't have done it and it must be that 'Park Youngseo' person that did it out of jealousy or something like that. The girls were clearly upset and angered."

Melanie sighed with another eye-roll.

"So dumb and that's Kim Nara's fault for not letting Jake know that it was her that wrote the letter."

Kierra diverted the conversation elsewhere instead.

"Forget them. How did your math tutoring go with Jake then?"

Melanie shrugged nonchalantly.

"Same as normal. He'll check my work after dance practice. Other than that, we both know the real story and the rumors can suck it."

The three hummed in agreement as Kierra cast her sister with a knowing look.

"So, what about you and Sunghoon then?"

"Nothing."

Kierra just wanted to tease her sister some more.

"Don't be like that." She cooed, playfully.

"Any new developments?"

"No." Linna flatly said with a shake of her head.

"None whatsoever."

"Well, maybe y'all can do a double date or something."

"No!" Both younger sisters answered causing their sisters to raise a brow, amused.

"Oh?"

Just as Kierra wanted to now tease the younger two, Serena changed the subject.

"Hey, Hayoun, who's the model in your photographs?"

Kierra almost spit out her drink, but Serena continued speaking.

"The one for those couple-like project from last semester."

Kierra side-eyed Serena to which the latter just smiled in response as she wanted Kierra to have a taste of her own medicine.

"She has the portfolio at home. The model, he's a student of Hyebi University, too."

"Ooh, who is it?"

"Is it someone we know?"

Kierra slightly glared at Serena, but brought out her phone nonetheless.

"It's Jay."

"Ooh la la." The younger two cooed as they went through Kierra's gallery.

"I blame you."

Kierra shifted her attention onto Serena as the latter shrugged.

"Hey, that's a 'you and Jay' problem."

Kierra scowled.

"Shut up."

However the younger two wanted to join in the teasing to get back at Kierra.

"What's wrong with Jay, Hayoun?"

"Yeah, Hayoun, what did he ever do to you?"

Kierra knew the two younger ones were teasing, but still.

"Everything." She grumbled.

"Why was he your model?" Linna asked a second later.

"Or how did he become your model?"

Kierra sighed before speaking.

"Our professors are best friends and they thought it would be cool to collaborate or whatever last semester."

"So what did he get out of it for being your muse?" Melanie inquired a second later.

"His muse in return." Kierra mumbled.

The younger continued their teasing upon hearing that.

"Ooh, that's cute."

"Yeah, so what has he done that's inspired by you?"

Kierra sighed, not really wanting to tell the duo, but gave in anyway.

"Some fashion clothing designs."

"Ooh." The duo cooed as Linna recalled something.

"Hey, is he the one gave you that cute cream colored scrunchie with Pochacco on it?"

"Yes." Kierra confirmed as Melanie eyed her.

"Okay, but why haven't you worn the said scrunchie though?"

"I just never found a reason to wear it. That's all."

"You should wear it." Linna suggested as Melanie nodded.

"Yeah, you should so that he knows you appreciate his efforts."

"I'll think about it." Kierra responded.

Before the two could teased further, Serena re-directed the conversation elsewhere after checking her phone.

"Hey, Woojoo and Sujin just messaged if we could help them out with something."

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen!" Sujin greeted the crowd as Woojoo introduced their friends onto the makeshift stage.

"Please give a warm welcome to, WHITE WISHES!"

The cousins politely waved at the crowd gathered on their school's campus where Woojoo and Sujin were a part of the Student Council and needed a last minute act to join the other performing acts after three of them dropped out last night unexpectedly. The cousins were bribed with snacks and drinks for another month again for helping out once more. However, the the younger two didn't mind at all in helping this time around, but the older two caved in so easily into their sisters' hands.

"These lovely ladies are gonna charmed their way into your soul with their performances!" Woojoo continued, enthuasistically.

"Yes! So, please treat them kindly!" Sujin chimed in a second later.

The quartet were disguised in their performances outfits, courtesy of their friends. Each one wore a white long-sleeved knee-length slightly loose dress, with a long off white wig, knee-high white socks, white vans, small fairy-like wings, and a feathered white eye mask with different colored accents to differentiate one from the other. Kierra with green, Serena with purple, Melanie with red, and Linna with blue. People definitely couldn't tell them apart unless you knew them well enough or looked a little too closely to figure them out from one another for sure.

"Happy White Day to everyone and enjoy our White Day Stage this late afternoon!" The pair concluded as the crowd cheered.

Sujin and Woojoo walked off the stage as they cheered on the quartet.

"Good luck, ladies!"

"And thanks again for helping us out."

The quartet nodded, smiling.

"You're welcome."

"Yeah, no problem."

However, they psyched themselves and each other up for their short segment despite finishing their classes and tutoring sessions for the day not that long ago. Again, they just didn't think they would have returned to doing something like this after Jungwon's birthday. Still, they were also not about that life either as school and work took up a majority of their time, but free food for like two weeks won out like always.

"One, two..." Melanie led the greeting before introducing themselves as a group.

"We're WHITE WISHES!"

One by one they introduced themselves with their so-called stage names.

"I'm Peony Wish."

"I'm Bear Wish."

"I'm Chocolate Wish."

"I'm Marshmallow Wish."

They introduced themselves with Melanie first, followed by Linna, Kierra next, and lastly, Serena. Woojoo came up with their names this time around as it pertained to gifts normally given on White Day and the quartet drew from hats of what stage name they would go by as well.

"And we're WHITE WISHES!" They repeated in a sing-song tone as Melanie continued speaking.

"Please watch over us kindly."

Unknown to them, several of their friends showed up to check out this White Day Stage and the performers for the fun and curiosity of it all since it was new this year.

"So, why aren't we at dance practice again?" Jake asked his friends.

"Because the dance instructor wants us to." Heeseung replied with a shrug.

"Something about a break or a new perspective of whatever."

"Oh, okay. That makes sense."

"Honestly, I think Instructor Kwon just has a crush on the Student Council advisor and forced us out here." Jay remarked as Sunghoon agreed, pointing somewhere.

"Look over there. There he is with Advisor Kim."

"Where?" The others asked as they followed to where Sunghoon was pointing.

"Wow."

"He makes it so obvious." Jungwon commented with a laugh as Sunoo agreed.

"Yeah, but he's surely smitten for sure with Advisor Kim."

"Well, as long as he's in a good mood, then that's good for us." Ni-Ki remarked, happy about the situation.

Their attention went towards their dance teacher, chatting with the advisor and how he acted differently around her than when he was around them. They found the whole thing comical and just plain weird. Anyway, soon their focus went towards the female quartet as they were the first to start off the White Day Stage event.

"Didn't our sisters say that they're doing something different this year with performances, too?" Sunoo asked Jungwon as the latter nodded.

"Yeah. I mean, they could've asked us to join. I'm sure Instructor Kwon wouldn't have minded since he would be interacting with Adivor Kim, too."

The group watched as the cousins performed their segment, but found them all too familiar, especially Ni-Ki as he observed them a little longer than the others.

"One, two..." Serena began the greeting before finishing as a group.

"This was WHITE WISHES!"

The four bowed to the now larger crowd than before.

"Thank you so much for having us this evening."

The cousins walked off stage as another act came onto it. Both Woojoo and Sujin awaited for the four with presents in hands.

"These are a little 'thank you' gifts from us to you." Woojoo informed them with a smile, while offering the gift bags out towards them.

"So, we hope you like them!" Sujin stated, hopefully.

"Aw, thank you!"

Linna, Kierra, Melanie, and Serena took the gifts before opening them excitedly. Each content contained a small-sized random lop rabbit plush, two small random scented candles, and a variety of snacks consisting of different types of chocolates, cookies, candies, gummies, jellies, and marshmallows.

"Thank you so much for the gifts!" The quartet thanked their friend as they each expressed what they like the most.

"I definitely loved the bunny!"

"I've been needing new candles!"

"I can't wait to eat the jellies."

"I can't wait to eat all the chocolates."

The pair giggled as the six moved away from the stage to talk a little more before the pair had to go back to being in charge for awhile longer while the quartet made their way back to the Student Council room to change. On the way there, they were blocked by Ni-Ki as he had snuck away from the others.

"So, how's it going?" He cooed with a playful tone.

The quartet stared at one another while eyeing the male.

"I will keep this a secret as long as y'all buy me something to eat every day." Ni-ki bargained as the four looked at one another again.

"Don't you already get free food from her the most though?" Melanie said as she pointed at her sister.

"I do, but this time I want to make a request in what I want to eat or drink with the rest of you." He reasoned as the quartet sighed.

"Does it matter?" Linna asked looking between the four of them.

"That he knows and we let the others find out, too?"

"I guess, but then they might start requesting for us to do more stuff, too." Kierra said, making a face.

"I knew this was too much of a hassle."

"Or we can just silence Ni-Ki with a beat up." Serena suggested with a laugh.

"That would definitely make him back off.

The male backed up and eyed his friends, warily.

"I didn't do anything to deserve that."

"We know." They chorused with a chuckle.

"Y'all are mean." He commented as the four laughed again before giving in.

"Alright, alright, but you can't take advantage of this or we will beat you up for sure." Melanie stated as Ni-Ki nodded happily.

"Okay, cool. Let's get dinner."

"Not so fast."

Linna stopped him before speaking again.

"We already have plans tonight."

"What kind of plans?" He inquired, calling their bluff.

However, they weren't bluffing.

"We're hanging out with Sujin and Woojoo." Kierra informed him with a nonchalant look.

"Something came up and so we're hanging out with them for the rest of the day."

"Oh. Okay."

"Yeah, so can you wait for another night?" Melanie asked as Ni-Ki nodded.

"Okay, but don't take too long to decide like always."

"Yeah, yeah."

Serena threw one of her snack gifts towards him.

"What's this?"

"Sweets as a compromise."

"Thanks, Minseo."

"Welcome."

Ni-Ki happily ran off to join the others while the cousins continued on their way to change before getting sidetracked by Ni-Ki.

"C'mon, let's get changed and meet the other two at Simplistic." Linna suggested, motioning her head towards one of the school's building.

Sujin and Woojoo wanted to hang out with the four to treat the cousins out for a White Day moment after learning that their boyfriends had cheated on them. So, the pair didn't want to celebrate the holiday with their scumbag exes as they were now trying to get them back, but they didn't want to take them back. Woojoo and Sujin were also ashamed to let their other friends know about it either. So, they just wanted to hang out with Melanie, Linna, Serena, and Kierra only since they were the only ones that really knew about the secret relationship they had.

"So, you're the one leaving the letters for Sunghoon this past week, huh?"

Serena retracted her hand, but left the light blue envelope behind. She shifted her gaze causally towards Heeseung and recalled Ni-Ki telling her that no one would be here at this time, but guess there was always that one person though.

"Leaving them, yes." Serena answered nonchalantly.

Still, this was her third time to leave a letter for Sunghoon in the past week or so, but this was the first time she's been caught in the act.

"Have a problem with it?"

She cast him with a small smile.

"No."

Heeseung cast her with a polite smile as his eyes glanced from the locker and back to her.

"However, gotta tell you 'sorry', but Sunghoon isn't interested."

She supressed a laugh from escaping before responding with a playful expression.

"Me either."

A bemused look graced his face.

"Then why are you leaving him love letters?"

"It's from someone else and I'm just helping out."

After the quartet's hangout with Sujin and Woojoo, Linna wanted to confess to Sunghoon with letters after talking about relationships although she wouldn't signed her name, but with a simple drawing of an orchid, her favorite flower. Linna convinced herself to write the letters to Sunghoon first and then eventually it would encourage her to later do an actual face to face confession some day. However, Linna couldn't bring herself to actually give him the letters, whether in person or in secret and so resorted in having Serena being the one that did the delivering instead. Serena wasn't please, but she needed new writing materials and eventually agreed.

"Anyway, bye."

She left it at that and made her way around him to leave as he followed.

"Wait a minute, Minseo."

"Yeah, no."

"Oh, c'mon."

Serena ignored Heeseung, but found his tone just now cute.

"Who's this Orchid that likes him?"

Serena's brows furrowed, wondering why the person was dubbed 'orchid', then recall that that's what Linna signed off with.

"What makes you think the sender is 'Orchid' though?"

She casually glanced over her shoulder at him, but freaked upon seeing how close he was. Serena backed away, almost tripping over her own feet, but Heeseung had reached out to steady her.

"Whoa, be careful, Park Minseo." He advised, teasing her a little.

"I'm fine, Lee Heeseung."

She quickly brushed off his hold from her while righting her position again.

"Anyway, thanks and bye."

She began walking off again, but he matched her pace in no time.

"Anyway, it's because it's always a blue envelope that's left there."

"So?"

"Other letters that Sunghoon gets is either in classes or in person."

"Mmhmm."

"Well, this one from Orchid is always left behind."

"Oh, I see."

Serena had to changed tactics, but figured that since Sunghoon isn't interested that she may not have to deliver more in the future or have to see Heeseung.

"Um, didn't you just say that he's not interested?"

"Yes, but he should know who gave him the letters." Heeseung reasoned.

Serena scoffed.

"Not really if Sunghoon's not interested."

Heeseung persisted.

"Is it someone we know?"

She eyed him.

"Quite persistent, aren't you?"

He chuckled.

"Yeah, but anyway, who's his secret admirer?"

"Well, that's for me to know and you to never find out."

Serena grinned at him.

"Anyway, Heeseung, I'll let the sender know that the receiver isn't interested at all."

Serena faced forward and continued walking and before Heeseung could probe further, he was surrounded by their schoolmates once they exited the building. She casually glanced over her shoulders and saw the distressed look in his eyes despite himself being way too polite for his own good.

"For someone so tall and bright, he does look like a deer caught in the headlights right now."

She softly chuckled, but sighed in defeat as her steps hesitated before turning around. Serena knew she was gonna regret getting involved like this and being around the male longer than she wanted to, but she couldn't leave him alone like that either. So, Serena quickly walked towards the group and reached a hand through them to take a firm hold of Heeseung's hand.

"Hey, Heeseung, c'mon. Sunghoon's waiting."

He cast her with a confused, but relieved look as he allowed her to lead him away from the others. Once in the clear did she let go of his hand when they rounded another department building a moment later.

"Sorry." She apologized while casting the male with a half-smile.

"It looked like you needed help and I dunno if I took you away from anything important."

"Ah, no, it's fine. Thank you and no, not really." He assured her with a thankful smile.

"They just wanted to ask me about school stuff and other non-related school things."

"Ah, okay. Still popular as ever, I see."

"Oh?"

There was a hint of amusement in his tone and Serena knew she would've regretted it.

"Don't mind my words, Heeseung."

She flashed him a smile.

"Anyway, you're welcome. See you never."

"Hey, wait a minute. Minseo!" Heeseung called out, but she shook her head while shooting him an amused look as she took a few steps back.

"Nope. Gotta go. Buh-bye!"

Serena already did her part for her cousin on a few ocassions and needed to keep it to a miminal as much as possible if she didn't want to interact with Heeseung constantly like this. He didn't follow after her, but watched her retreating figure with a slight tilt of his head and an amused smile.

"Was she always like this during high school, too?"

"So, apparently, Sunghoon isn't interested, Linna."

Serena announced once she met up with her sister and cousins at the university's Lift Library.

"Really?"

Linna sounded so sad and Serena patted her shoulder.

"He actually said that?" Kierra asked with widened eyes.

"No. Heeseung did."

She made a face.

"He caught me in the act."

"Wait, does that mean he'll tell him about you?"

"Maybe. Not sure."

Serena shrugged nonchalantly before glancing at Melanie.

"Maybe my situation will turn out like yours and Jake."

Melanie rolled her eyes with a laugh.

"We're not even like that, but will you be okay with rumors of you and him?"

Serena shrugged while shaking her head.

"Not really, but I would prefer it didn't."

"True. Anyway, let's focus back on Jiyeon."

All focus went onto Linna as she caught their stares.

"What?"

"An in-person confession would be better." Kierra reasoned.

Linna seemed uneasy.

"I mean, Sunghoon is quite popular and has a lot of admirers."

Serena scoffed before speaking.

"Okay, true, but that's not always the case."

The other three stared at her as Serena elaborated.

"C'mon, y'all watched those shows and movies enough to know, but okay."

Serena made herself comfortable.

"Like, usually a person with a lot of admirers don't even like those that surround themselves around them in general. It's because those admirers only like the surface parts of that person and not the deeper levels of them."

Serena looked from one to the other, hoping they got the gist, but continued on anyway.

"Or these admirers who aren't even close to that said person always have this idealize expectation of that person and so get disappointed when that person doesn't match that idolized one. Honestly, said popular person doesn't feel like they are actually being appreciated and just being used for clout and the likes."

Serena chuckled with a shrug.

"Still it's usually a more or less stereotypical perspective of it all. Depends on the person and situation at most. Then again, you'll never know unless you yourself find out and get it from the primary source."

Linna nodded.

"That's what I thought, too, ever since I realized I had a crush on him since our high school days."

She softly sighed.

"However, this is real life and not one of those shows or whatever. I don't want to give him the impression that I'm only around him because of that since a lot of girls in my class fond over him too much and he always hung out with his friends, too."

"Well, it's different now. Like, we have the same set of friends and mutual friends between us." Melanie commented while looking at Linna.

"Which in your case, it's different since you built the trust and friendship and are actually cool with those he considers his friends, too."

"Yeah, true."

Linna gave the trio a confident smile.

"One day, I'll do it on my own time, but for now, I'm good where I'm at."

"Fine by me as long as I don't have to deliver any more love letters." Serena grinned.

"So that leaves Youngseo and Jake, as well as Hayoun and Jay."

"It does not." They countered as Serena laughed.

"If y'all do stuff, then maybe Jiyeon could go through with her confession for Sunghoon."

"I just said Jake was cute that one time and I never said that I actually liked him like that." Melanie stated with a roll of her eyes.

"There's a difference."

"Yeah, what Youngseo said." Kierra agreed.

"Don't be like Woojoo, Sujin, and the others as they think there's something going on between me and Jay."

She clicked her tongue.

"Almost all our friends keep thinking he and I got something going on."

"Don't you?" The other three chorused as Kierra groaned.

"No."

"Well, are you and Jay going to have more photoshoot assignments this semester like last semester?" Melanie inquired a moment later.

"No." Kierra answered, relieved.

"Thank goodness as neither of our professors brought up another collaboration."

"Aww, that's too bad." Linna chimed in.

"I'm pretty sure he would've loved to spend more time with you."

"Don't even start."

"Nah, it would've been cute." Serena marked, laughing.

Soon, Serena continued teasing the others, but stopped once they started bringing up her possible involvement with Heeseung. Then they got onto the topic about their friends wondering about Seohoo and who he was to them as they all thought he was four-timing them of sorts since the cousins hung out with Seohoo often. Yet the cousins left the matter alone as they knew the truth and Seohoo found it entertaining and even suggested for them to use him as pretend boyfriend if needed.

"Alright, here you four go." Chanran announced as he set down four different fruit slushies in front of the cousins.

"My special fruit-ades for team members."

"Yay!" The four cheered as they each grabbed their drink.

The quartet decided to hang out at Simplistic, not wanting to return home just yet once classes were done for the day and had a day off from work as well. Chanran mentioned his specialty drinks that he was testing out which was basically made with both milkis and chilsung cider while mixing with actual fruits and syrup flavoring.

"So," Serena began after taking a sip of her mango slushie.

"Is there any way we can ditch the school's social gathering or networking happening this Sunday?"

"Oh, please, someone say yes." Kierra exlaimed in agreement, after sipping her peach slushie.

"I wanna opt out, too."

"Y'all can't do that."

"Yeah, we've already signed up."

Linna and Melanie argued, also having drank their red guava and strawberry slushies, respectively, before the pair spoke again.

"It shouldn't be that bad from what I've read and others have been talking about." Melanie said, giving the older pair a look.

"There's gonna be free food and future job opportunities with companies we may wanna work for in the future if we decide to stay and live here longer or maybe even permanently. Also, don't forget about the extra credit bit, too."

"Yeah." Linna chimed in.

"It's only for one night and the first time ever that the school is doing this. If it's successful, then they'll do it again next year and thereafter."

"But there's a dress code." Kierra and Serena chimed in unison with groans.

"And what's wrong with that?" Linna countered as Kierra made a face.

"We got nothing fancy to wear."

"Yeah, the dress code has to be formal or semi-formal." Serena chimed in as Melanie nodded.

"True, but y'all can wear pant suits though if y'all didn't wanna wear dresses."

"Oh, right, but even those are a hassle, too."

"Well, it is what it is. Gotta suck it up."

"So dumb."

Suddenly a voice suddenly spoke from behind them.

"What's going on over here?"

The quartet turned their heads to see Hanyoung hovering nearby with a curious face.

"Anything interesting to help pass the time?"

"Not if you know where we can rent or buy fancy dresses for cheap." Serena replied as Hanyoung nodded.

"I do."

"Really?"

"Yes. What's it for?"

"Our university is doing a social networking gathering of sorts and expects a lot of their students to be there to impress." Kierra explained while glancing around her.

"But Minseo and I don't want to attend, but need to attend as we already signed up and it counts as participation grading."

Simplistic died down and so the others really had nothing to do as the previous customers have left, too.

"Ooh, sounds fun though."

Hanyoung chuckled while glancing between the four.

"Would that be for this upcoming Sunday for Hyebi University?"

"Yes. How'd you know?"

"Surprisingly, Junyoung and I will be there, too. Also, Seohoo's been talking about it for the past several days, too."

"Really? Why will y'all be there?" Melanie inquired, puzzled.

"Our parents have businesses and we're the ones representing them since they have other obligations to handle."

"That's pretty cool."

"Mmhmm."

Hanyoung cast them with a sweet look.

"So, when do y'all wanna go clothes shopping though?" He asked sincerely.

"Junyoung and I can free up our schedule to assist y'all for the ocassion. We asked Seohoo, but he said he got all of that figured out on his own accord."

"I can't believe I'm wearing such a dress for this event and even more so than I ever thought I would." Serena slightly complained, even if in awed.

She, her sister, and their cousins arrived at the Four Seasons Hotel's venue hall as they wore the same styled strapless fitted gown, but in different colors. Serena in an off white, Kierra in a rose gold, Linna in a mauve rose, and Melanie in a smoky blue. They were rented out by the duo although the cousins informed them that they would pay them back, but Junyoung and Hanyoung dismissed it as a friendly treat. Luckily for Serena and Kierra, their friends eased their nervousness by suggesting something more comfortable while still staying classy.

"Well, Seohoo was supposed to meet up with us, but he left earlier with his friends." Linna remarked as Melanie nodded.

"Yeah, I mean I would, too, but he told us last minute and we could've gone with Sujin and Woojoo."

"For real."

The other three agreed.

"However, I think those two are gonna arrive later as they have Student Council matter to take care of first as this was part of it or something like that." Linna informed.

"Oh, yeah, that's right. I forgot they mentioned that." Melanie chimed in.

"Anyway, where are we supposed to go again?" Kierra asked, looking about the venue.

"Were we supposed to pick up our name placard or a name-tag somewhere?"

"Let's just follow the other students." Serena suggested.

"I don't see any signs and it would be helpful if they did or someone was out here."

"Yeah, I know right." Kierra agreed, looking around.

"Still, let's just followed everyone else. That's our best bet."

"Alright, let's go." Melanie said as she began walking with the others following after her.

"By the way, what should we do when we get inside?" Kierra asked a second later.

"Like, I didn't really fully read the e-mail that they sent us."

"Of course you wouldn't." Linna commented as Kierra chuckled.

"Um, first we check in, then they'll give us a pamphlet, and afterwards we'll just go about the place." Melanie explained.

"I think they also have a separate place for food though as they're so much of us."

"Oh, yes, please. I forgot to eat earlier and am hungry." Linna replied, rubbing her stomach.

"Hopefully there's enough options."

"Yeah, no, I hope so, too." Melanie agreed.

"We can check that out after checking in first."

"Now that I think about it after reading the e-mail," Serena thought out loud after putting her mobile phone away, "We don't really have to stay for that long or for even the whole time that we're here."

She glanced at the other three with a an easy-going look.

"We just need to check in, mingle around for a bit with some proof that we came by talking to some of the businesses here by getting our name-tag either signed or stamped, and we can leave after doing so. Or in our case, just hang out in the buffet hall to eat and then leave afterwards."

Kierra grinned, liking the idea.

"Oh, yeah, let's do that for sure."

"Right."

Serena chuckled as Kierra continued.

"Right. Anyway, food can never go wrong unless prepared incorrectly or whatever."

Their sisters rolled their eyes with a laugh.

"Of course."

The four giggled as they reached the part where the hotel staff had tables aligned with their name lanyards for them to take and enter the hall.

#staytheb #enhypen scenarios

0 notes

spirituallyyellow · 1 year

Text

30/9/23

Yesterday, when I was still on the plane home, my thoughts kept jumping around from person to person, and then from imaginary situation to imaginary situation, and then I started an anxiety spiral (as fucking always). I tried to think about God and I silently blurted out to him, “I miss you.” And then I cried, silently, for two hours.

I saw some friends from the commune recently and ended up saying far more about myself, my life, and my feelings than I think I ever have to any other person. I stopped performing vulnerability and became actually vulnerable. So of course I fled upstairs to my room as soon as it was not impolite to do so. I didn’t take off running or anything - I just slipped away. They all knew, of course. They probably all knew that I cried myself to sleep, too. But I had to get away from them, from people generally.

It’s so humiliating and embarrassing to cry. It’s even worse when you’re talking about your life and you see everyone else start to get that same look of dawning horror. Like oh no, she’s really actually properly a broken person and this is way too much for anybody to deal with, she should speak to somebody about that kind of a look.

And then a couple of days later, I told one of these friends that I loved him and thought he was great and I was glad to have him in my life. He returned the sentiment, but I can’t bring myself to really believe it. I think I put him in an awkward position, which I really didn’t mean to do. I wasn’t looking for a mutual sentiment, I just wanted to say my piece.

I don’t know.

I wish I had a really good friend who had similar beliefs to me. Who I could see often.

This friend said that he felt like I’d spent most of my life taking care of everybody else and that he would like to be someone who could be a safe person for me to take up space around.

And a different person there said that I was so likeable, and I replied, almost but not quite flippantly, that most people found me likeable and interesting at first but once they got to know me, it stopped. She said, “Is that actually true, though, or is that what you’ve been told by certain people?”

I mean, I don’t know. She started talking about the enneagram which I kind of feel like is bullshit, but I didn’t say anything. Whether I’m a 4 or an 8 or a 3.14, I appreciated her kindness. She didn’t have to be nice to me but she was.

I ended up telling her about when I was molested, and I told her that I had first told a mutual acquaintance a long time ago and he blew it off as “sounds like normal cousin experimentation to me; I don’t think this is significant.” (Those words are burned into my brain forever.)

WELL IT FELT SIGNIFICANT TO ME JACKASS.

Anyway, she was also really annoyed about that response, which felt a little cathartic. The other two people I’ve told the whole story to have had very little visible reaction, I guess as part of their training or something, and it made it all feel more unsettling. Her frank emotional response made me feel more normal, which was nice.

And I talked to them about the way my tutor spoke to me and treated me last time I was at the commune and they were all like, “wow so you were shamed” and it felt like a bit of a relief to hear other people say it.

In my real life, I never cry, but these people could be forgiven for thinking I’m lying about that because I’ve done so much fucking crying in front of them. It feels like shit btw.

I hate how out of control my emotions feel. As soon as I engage with them in any meaningful way, it feels like they swell up like an ocean wave and overwhelm everything. I have to get better at ignoring it, regulating it, hiding it from others. I don’t care what anybody says - no one wants to deal with that, because everybody has their own shit going on. I’m tired of burning through friendships by trusting that people really do want to hear about how I’m feeling.

They want to hear “I’m great! How are you?”

And that’s just a fact.

I still think about my little heavenly house, where I’m far away from everyone and the only person who can access me is God. It sounds more and more wonderful the older I get. The tea will stay the perfect temperature, I will never be lonely, and I can just read and read and read and never need to feel anything other than contentment.

I think God wants me to try gardening again.

0 notes

alsjeblieft-zeg · 1 year

Text

246 of 2023

Are you unemployed?

No, I’ve been having a job for the last 9 years and counting.

When’s the last time you received a letter in the mail?

Yesterday The bill from the labour union lol.

Do you even write letters to people?

No, just emails.

Have you ever driven a Honda?

No, my cousin had a Honda before, but he crashed it.

What color do you want your dream car to be?

Black, just as ours.

Finish the sentence: Taylor Lautner is…

...a person, who else?

Do you have more then one favorite band?

Yeah, I have a few. But I rather like songs than bands.

Do you like The Band Perry?

Never heard of it.

You can kill one person & get away with it; who?

This question is so fucked up that I’m not even gonna answer this.

If you could be a supernatural creature, what would you choose to be?

None, thanks.

Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?

I have no preference, but since the relationship has happened, I do my best to take care of it. We’re happy together.

How long until you’re 50 years old?

17 years.

Would you be really upset if Facebook ceased to exist tomorrow?

No, I would be actually happy.

Do you usually hide your true feelings from others?

Most of the time. I rarely open up IRL.

Do you pronounce the ” t ” in often?

Yeah. Better ask me if I pronounce “h” in my dialect.

Are you capable of running 2 miles without stopping?

No. I was once paralysed.

Do you lick the roof of your mouth often?

What?

Did you do it just now?

No.

Most unattractive male name, in your opinion?

I don’t know, Derek? Or all the boring names like Adam.

Do you watch the show THE BIG BANG THEORY?

Yeah, I love it. It’s so stupid that it’s actually funny.

Are you exhausted?

Not today, I’m just slightly tired.

Finish the lyrics: I’m a barbie girl in a barbie world. Life in plastic…

Fuck off.

Are you a fan of reality tv shows?

Not a fan, but sometimes I watch them for lolz.

Have you visited amirite.com?

Never heard of it.

Is your pet dog male or female?

I don’t have any dog. I only have two cat ladies.

When you’re single are you mostly lonely or content?

Such things don’t really matter to me, so I’m not overthinking it.

Have you or would you try shark meat?

I’ve tried, didn’t like it.

Do you know anyone that’s pescatarian?

No. But I’m somewhat related, I guess my diet is called “pollotarian” because I’m like a vegetarian who allows chicken in his diet.

Are you shy or over confident around your crushes?

Very shy, but I cover it with some confidence. Very strange, I know.

Do you drink skim milk?

No. It’s like coloured water, so tasteless. Whole milk or don’t waste my time.

Did you know everything causes cancer these days?

Oh, really?

Do you think the govt has a cure for cancer, but is hiding it from public?

*taps his forehead* conspiracy theories, be like.

Last time you drank a diet soda?

Never. Diet soda, what an oxymoron.

Do you need to urinate?

Yeah, now I feel it.

Do you usually brush your teeth every night?

Yeah, I do.

Do ppl normally describe you as sexy?

No, they rather describe me as cool. Although there were some people who found me exceptionally hot.

Were you really nervous at some point today?

No, my antidepressants finally kicked in and I’m not anxious anymore.

Do you have a Mexican friend?

Not a friend, but one of my classmates in uni was Mexican.

Have you ever dated an Australian?

Never.

Do you think you’re fit to be a Victoria Secret model?

Do they even hire guys?

Is mostly everyone you know in a relationship?

Most of people I hang out are married.

Are both of your biological parents still alive?

Yes, thankfully.

Was your ex born in America?

No, he’s Dutch.

Are most of your jokes funny or lame?

So lame they’re actually funny lol. I make people laugh, some call me a natural entertainer.

#survey #q&a survey #random survey

1 note · View note

tirednanxious · 1 year

Text

6:13AM, 29 March 2023

My friend told me I should start journaling again, and I know they’re right. I don’t know what to write, though. I guess I’m just lonely. My partner’s so deep in his work that he doesn’t make time for me. I’ve brought up watching a movie or playing a video game together a couple of times, but it hasn’t stuck. He insists on watching Lost and doesn’t want to play the games I chill with.

Honestly, I’ve been feeling pretty insulted, him playing Phasmophobia with a different girl without asking me if I’d be okay with it first. I’m usually fine with it, but he hates horror things, and when I suggest games, he so quickly shoots them down. This girl asked like twice and that’s all it took. I’ve been wanting him to play Tekken for literally years. Killing Floor 2 maybe, but nope. I’m still fucking waiting.

He’s also been talking to this other engaged girl like on a friend level as far as I know. I get he feels bad for her; I do, too… but he keeps bringing up how annoying she and her fiancé are. I’ve stopped talking to her because I’m getting too old to be patient for her bullshit, and she’s impossible to fucking work with. I’m confident he doesn’t want to be with her, but I’m so annoyed with how she keeps messaging him with stupid stuff like what she wants to be when she grows up (she’s 20), which she’s changed four times in the past two months.

He also kept telling me he was attracted to me because I got stuff done. I’m so fucking tired of getting stuff done. He’s talking to some other lady that’s supposed to get stuff done for our team anyway.

I’m not even jealous; I’m just annoyed. He can spend time with whoever the fuck he wants, but the problem is that he’s not making time to address my needs without complaining about spending time with other people. Like just watch a fucking movie I want to watch or play a game I actually like. I’m so tired of putting others before me. It’s just a mistake I keep making. I even yelled at him yesterday because I started losing my patience with him.

I apologized, but I don’t know how to respond to him anymore. After saying good morning, he said “I guess try to relax more.” I was trying to relax with him so we can spend time together. I don’t even think he knows I have a blood tests and an ultrasound scheduled to get my kidneys checked. I don’t think he knows I’m on medication. Even if he does, he doesn’t seem to care. He keeps talking about himself and his projects when I try to bring it up. Yesterday, there was a change in plans because I was supposed to go to an escape room with my cousins, but had to cancel because of maintenance. I told him change in plans, and he didn’t ask about he. He asked how my day’s been yesterday, but I couldn’t get the sense that he actually cared about my answer.

I’ve come to the conclusion that he’s a narcissist. He can fix this, and I’m just trying to think of how to tell him.

There’s also the issue of health issues I’ve been having lately. Not to mention my anxiety and stress levels making it feel 100x worse.

1 note · View note

staygoldwriting · 2 years

Text

Cousin Buckley: Part 5

Summary: You’re Robin’s cousin, and you might be falling for Eddie Munson... or will it be Steve Harrington?? 🖤💜

Please see my masterlist for Parts 1-4!

Warnings: mention of blood and a skinned knee, otherwise it’s pure fluff!

Word count: ~1.4k

A/N: AHHH I’m getting so excited about what will happen next even though I’m the one writing it 😂 Again, THANK YOU for the love--I’m sending it right back 😍 Please enjoy this one--it’s getting good 🙊

Taglist is still a WIP but I’m messaging those whose usernames won’t work!

“Okay, I’ve got to work from one to closing tonight, which is a total drag and barely feels legal, but I’ve got to save up. Do you have any plans?”

You were sitting on Robin’s bed as she fixed her hair for work. Robin had warned you that Thursday was her longest shift day, so you needed to make some plans so you wouldn’t be stuck in the house all day. You envied the day before; you two met up with the guys again and had lunch at the park.

“Actually, I was thinking about hanging out with Eddie,” you said, picking at your fingernails.

“Ahh,” Robin turned around with a smirk on her face. “Has the lady chosen her true love? I would have guessed it was Steve based on your interactions yesterday.”

You blushed; you and Steve had been playing around at the park yesterday. He pushed you on the swings, swung with you on the monkey bars, and then played out in the field, ending with you accidentally falling and skinning your knee as you dove for the frisbee.

✨

“Oh my gosh, are you okay?” Steve had rushed to your side. “Shoot, you’re bleeding!”

“I’m fine,” you tried to relieve him. “It’s just a skinned knee. Man, they do sting, it doesn’t matter how old you are.”

“Here, let me help you up.”

Steve lifted you up, wrapping your arm around his shoulder. He then walked you over to a bench, swinging your leg up on it. He grabbed a napkin, then squatted beside you to dab your knee. As you winced in pain, he looked up at you sympathetically.

“I’m sorry,” he said, rubbing your arm.

“Don’t worry about it, you’re helping,” you half-smiled, half-grimaced.

“I’ll be right back, I think I have some bandaids in my car.”

He came back with some bandaids. As he dabbed your knee a little more, you continued to wince. He gently applied the bandaid, making sure it wasn’t too tight.

“Good as new,” he smiled then kissed his finger, pressing it lightly to the bandage then to your nose.

“Thanks, Dr. Steve, what do I owe you?” you joked, trying to hide the way your heart raced as he looked at you admiringly. He tapped his cheek playfully, making you roll your eyes.

“You can also build up a line of credit,” he winked, pointing to his lips.

✨

You looked down at your knee and lightly touched the fresh bandaid. Steve was sweet, that was for sure. He felt like Hawkins, like those summer days full of popsicle stains, collecting fireflies, and freshly grilled burgers. He was the type of person you could dance with if a great song came on the radio while you were cooking.

But something about Eddie made you feel different. Eddie wasn’t the typical all-American boy next door; he was softer, a sensitive soul covered by leather and tough patches and bands. When you thought of him, you thought of late nights gazing at the stars, of staying up all night just talking, of leaning on him the way you did two days ago, but this time with his guitar in his hands, strumming a song he made just for you.

“Hello-o-o, Y/N,” Robin waved her hand in your face, snapping you out of your trance.

“Hey, sorry,” you shook your head. “What were we talking about again?”

“You possibly seeing Eddie today?”

“Right, sorry. Yeah, I think I’ll call him.”

“Go ahead,” Robin smiled. “I gotta go, but I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Okay. Bye, Rob, have a good day at work. Let me know if you want snacks or something, okay?” you hugged her as she nodded.

“Seeya, Y/N/N.”

After Robin left, you got ready for the day and went to the kitchen to use the phone. Robin had written down both of the boys’ numbers in case you needed something while she was at work. You dialed Eddie’s number, and soon, a man picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hi, this is Y/N Buckley. Can I please speak to Eddie?”

“Sure, one second, Y/N.”

“Hello?”

“Hey, Eddie, it’s Y/N. I was wondering if you’d like to hang out today.”

You heard a crash and Eddie cursing to himself.

“Sorry,” he said.

“What happened?”

“Oh, nothing, just dropped the phone. Yes, let’s hang out. What did you have in mind?”

“Do you wanna get some lunch?”

Within fifteen minutes, you saw Eddie’s van pull up into the driveway. As you were walking to the front door, he hopped out of the driver’s seat and rushed up to the door, ringing the bell. When you opened it, he beamed and brought a small bouquet of wildflowers out from behind his back, holding them out to you.

“Hey, these are for you,” he smiled as you grabbed hold of them.

“Oh, Eddie, these are so pretty!” you smiled. “Thank you.”

You moved to hug him, and he accepted it, your arms around his neck and his around your waist. He rested his head in the crook between your neck and shoulder, and you could feel him smiling. You also smiled as you held him closely. He smelled like cigarettes and floral shampoo, a weird but not entirely unwelcome mix. As you pulled away, you looked away, trying to hide your blush.

“Did you know that wildflowers are my favorite?”

“I could say yes,” he scratched his head, a crooked smile on his face, “but I can’t lie to a lady such as yourself. In all honesty, they’re from behind my trailer.”

“Even better,” you said, and Eddie’s eyes sparkled. “I’m just going to put them in a vase quickly. Here, come in,” you moved to let him in.

As you found a vase and filled it, Eddie leaned on the countertop, gazing at you. He smiled as he saw the genuine joy the flowers brought you. As you arranged them, you narrowed your eyes to make sure the flowers fell evenly.

“You’re so cute.”

“What?” you looked up in surprise, a blush spreading quickly across your cheeks.

“What?” Eddie mirrored, eyes wide.

“You think I’m cute?” you asked slowly. Eddie’s face didn’t change.

“I… said that out loud. Okay, um,” he shuffled a bit, snapping out of his daze. “I just need to be honest with you, Harrington and I decided that we weren’t going to ask you out, but, to be honest with you, we both really really like you and we’ve wanted to ask you out since the first moment we saw you. I don’t know how he feels, but every single time I see you, I feel like my heart is gonna burst out of my chest, and I know that sounds cliche, but honestly, Y/N, this doesn’t really happen to me. I’ve been labeled as a freak all of my life, so girls avoided me like the plague. When I met you, I felt like you were just being nice like nice people do, you know? But I feel like we actually get along and enjoy each other’s company, right?” he looked at you, breathing a little heavily.

“Right. I enjoy spending time with you, Eddie, honestly,” you said softly.

“Okay, so you like hanging out with me and I like hanging out with you,” his arms were flailing as he spoke, “but, Y/N, I feel like there’s something more, but I don’t want to make a single move before I hear how you feel. So, Y/N,” he held your arms, “please be honest with me and tell me the truth. I’d rather you reject me and we just stay friends than you say yes and be uncomfortable. How do you feel about me?”

Before you could answer, you heard a knock on the door.

“Eddie!!”

It was a boy’s voice. Eddie looked at you, a heartbroken look on his face, and turned to get the door. A rush of emotions filled you to a breaking point, and you grabbed his arm to stop him and kissed his cheek, quickly but sweetly.

“We can talk later,” you said quietly, and Eddie nodded, his face softening. He opened the door, but when he saw who was in front of him, he groaned and dragged his hands down his face in exasperation.

“What do you want, Henderson?”

To be continued!!

🖤

Taglist: @joequinn94 @simonsbluee @lagataprrr @holeformunson @efvyqrs @fieldofsecretss @phantomxoxo @fanficfanatic204 @steves-robin @toomanybandstocare @aeumi @jmj-1312 @witheringawayagain @theravenclawlover @onlyangel-444 @lou-la-lou @spideyycents @nhdudufhhuddu @livingsimp @homiesexual-or-homosexual @justacaliforniandreamer @auszimbo @hawkins-hs @dumplinshee @ashdoctor @sebastianbarnes @spaceygirly1 @hollandcomics @igotbasicdrag @underthebatcape @kaitcreatesart @evqans @chickennug90 @gttrgrrl @inkedaztec @dearelliewrites @d4td7ewmachine @that-witch-bastard @thatweirdbigirl @timetravelassasin @harryscxnymoon @klaine-92 @frozenhuntress67 @loliakeoghan23 @dinonuggets1967 @roxetteblack @whyislife954 @alphashadows @gothicfaires @eddiemunson_ownsmysoul @simpingoverfictionalppl @luckypainterunknown @vvaleriieee @theshinyrock @mslunawinchester @flipphoneaddict69 @icanreadsposts @beep-beep-sherlock @tillkummer @oliviaak444 @eddiesbattattoos @mlle-ayka @stormsandsea @zeldaknight @livlaughquinn @ssolariiaa @thatonecurlygirl @musicmyheart @luvthatlovestolove @luvbug4728 @morishitoshi @theevilqueen394

423 notes · View notes

itsdanii · 4 years

Note

Kyahhh your rejecting you and regretting series is just so freaking good . Uhmmm idk if you are taking requests right now but can I please request for Ushijima and Kita?Thank you so much!

Rejecting you and regretting it pt. 4

one | two | three | four

Hey, bub. I'm so glad to hear that you've been enjoying my works. Here's your request for the part 4 and final (as of now) part of the rejecting and regretting you series. Have a good day and stay hydrated! ♥️

genre: angst to fluff

warnings: semi-rude behavior (resolved), no cursing in this one because these men drink their respect women juice daily

ft. ushijima wakatoshi, kita shinsuke

title says it all

Kita Shinsuke

Kita is your childhood friend

The moment the two of you were introduced to each other by your grandmothers, you instantly clicked

Same as through with him, you loved spending your time being productive and following a certain routine so it's no question that as you both grew up, you started gaining romantic feelings towards him

You've been thinking of confessing but never really had the chance because he was always busy with volleyball practice

So when you finally managed to get some alone time, you didn't hesitate to voice out your feelings, not knowing that the answer you're hoping for isn't the answer you're going to get

"You're staring again."

You snapped out of your thoughts when Kita stopped infront of you, his eyebrows furrowing as he studied your face.

"Are you alright?"

"Oh, uh, yes! I'm sorry. I was just thinking," you answered sheepishly while scratching the back of your head.

You mentally cursed yourself for spacing out on him. This is the only chance you're getting and you can't afford to waste it.

"About what?" Shinsuke asked as you both continued your walk on the way home since you only live apart each other. Plus, his grandma had always told him to never let you walk home alone especially at night.

"Huh?"

"You said you were thinking. About what?" Shinsuke gently tugged at the sleeve of your jacket, changing your positions so that he was closer to the road than you are.

You felt yourself blushing at the small gesture and looked at his hand that was still holding your jacket.

You swallowed the lump forming inside your throat and stopped walking, the act stopping Kita as well due to him holding you.

Kita looked at you worriedly and placed both hands on your shoulders, his head dipping slightly to get a closer look at your face. "Are you oka-"

"You," you answered without focusing your gaze to him. "I've been thinking about you."

When you felt him taking his hands off your shoulders, you immediately looked up. "Sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?"

The look he had is something you can't decipher but if you were to analyze it based on what you can see, it's a look you never wanted to see again.

Silence reigned the two of you, eyes staring at each other as if you're both trying to figure out what the other was thinking.

"No," Kita said, breaking the silence. "But it's best if we don't discuss the issue any further."

At that, he faced forward and continued walking as if nothing happened but as you stared at his back, you realized that somehow, he knew what you were trying to imply.

And the sad part is that he chose to ignore it and act unbothered as if he didn't just indirectly broke your heart.

Once you reached your destination, you faced him with an anxious smile and Kita didn't fail to notice this, as well as your habit of shifting from foot to foot whenever you wanted to say something.

"I like you, Shin," you blurted out nervously, your heart beating erratically and your palms becoming sweaty. "I don't know when it started but suddenly, I just woke up and realized that what I'm feeling towards you is no longer within the range of friendship. It's something more and I just wanted to let you know."

"I am well aware of that but I'm sorry, y/n. I can't return your feelings."

You bit your lower lip to hold in your tears and as much as you wanted to shout at him to accept your confession, you can't just force someone to love you back because it doesn’t work that way.

"Geez, can't you even say it gently?" you said with a forced chuckle. "Don't worry, I won't hold any grudges."

You let out a sigh before looking up at him and Kita was surprised to see that there are no traces of anger. He expected you to lash out but it seemed like he was wrong.

"I'll see you tomorrow then. Don't overwork yourself, okay?" With that, you stood on your tiptoes and pressed a kiss on his cheek before turning around to cross the road.

Kita could only stare at you as he watched you enter your household, your figure vanishing from his sight as the door finally closed.

Kita is a practical man.

He knows how to separate what is right from what is wrong.

Because of this, people often see him as someone who's perfect, sometimes even being compared to a robot due to his nature. But Kita is far from perfect, and he knew that.

Because as he laid in his bed that night, he realized that he just made a big, wrong decision, and he had nobody but himself to blame.

Kita didn't know if he should be happy or not. Actually, he should be happy. After all, he just rejected you and still, here you are, walking beside him as you made your way to school.

He kept glancing at you, observing wether you were pretending or not but he knew that it isn't in your nature to be a pretentious person. You've always worn your emotions on your sleeve which made it too easy for people to read you.

"Ah, Shin. You don't have to walk me home later," you said with a sheepish smile. "My friend is actually going to walk me home so.."

"Alright. Be sure to send me a message when you're on the way home." Despite how 'normal' it sounded, Kita was actually feeling something unpleasant inside him. It was a feeling he was well aware of but had never experienced himself.

The day progressed fast. One moment, he was entering his first class and the next, he's already checking wether all the sports equipment were put back in their proper places.

As he walked out of the gym, Kita instinctively brought out his phone to check for any messages, yours to be specific.

"Ya alright, Kita-san?" came Atsumu.

Kita simply nodded and glanced at his phone again before keeping it, disappointment filling him as he realized that you're not planning to message him at all.

Without you to walk home with, Kita decided to join his team mates, yet despite the noise his team naturally carried, Kita's mind was still preoccupied.

He thought of how you must be doing or if you arrived home safely. He thought of how different the things would've turned out if he hadn't rejected you.

He thought of you.

"Isn't that y/n-san?"

Kita's attention immediately went back to Earth, his eyes following the direction Atsumu was pointing at and just like he said, you were indeed at the other side of the road, walking alone while hugging yourself as you shivered ever so slightly.

Without any words, Kita headed towards your direction and his team mates knew better than to interfere. After all, they knew their captain well. It wasn't that hard to notice how off he was today.

"I thought I told you to message me."

You gasped as Kita suddenly appeared beside you, draping his jacket over your shoulder which immediately surrounded you with his familiar scent.

"Sorry, I forgot," you said while tugging at the end of his jacket sleeves.

"Mhm, and you also said that your friend is going to walk you home yet I don't see anyone beside you." Kita said with a serious tone.

"About that..." You scratched the back of your head as you tried to think of any excuses but you knew that lying would be pointless.

"What if someone kidnapped you? Or worse, took advantage of you? You know I don't like you walking alone especially when the sun had already set yet you still did it. Why did you lie?"

You felt like a child being scolded by your mother but instead of taking it the wrong way, you knew that Kita was only looking out for you. It was just ironic that he broke your heart yet still showed his deep concern for your being.

"It's because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable," you finally admitted. "I just confessed to you yesterday and I thought thay maybe I might make you uncomfortable if I kept sticking beside you. I didn't want to be an inconvenience."

"What are you talking about?" Kita stopped walking and turned towards you. "You were never an inconvenience and will never be one."

"Sorry, Shin."

"No. I should be the one to apologize. I made a very rash decision yesterday and ended up rejecting you. I thought that having romantic feelings towards someone would just be a waste of time but I came to realize that it isn't a waste of time if its with you," Kita said with a gentle look on his face.

You didn't speak for a few seconds and just let his words sink in, a feeling of hope igniting inside you when you realized what he was trying to say. "Do you mean that?" you asked hopefully.

"Have I ever lied to you?" Seeing you shake your head no, Kita leaned in to press his forehead against yours. "I like you, y/n."

You felt your heart beat picking up with those simple words and without waiting for anything else, you pressed your lips against his.

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Being the cousin of Tendou Satori had its perks

And one of those perks is the opportunity to see Ushijima everyday

You are only a year younger than them yet despite that, you get along with the team very well

After all, it had been a part of your daily routine to always visit the school's gym

What you didn't expect, however, was to fall for a certain captain

And you, being one of the most open and honest person, confessed the moment you realized your feelings towards him

And despite being turned down several times already, you still persisted, claiming that you'll do everything to make him fall for you

But sometimes, no matter how hard you try, it just isn't enough

"Where's 'Toshi?" you asked Satori when you entered the gym, flashing a small smile to the others before sitting down on an empty bench.

"Talking to the coach." Satori looked at the plastic you were holding and grinned as he noticed what was inside. "Really, y/n-chan? You know that won't work on Ushiwaka, right?"

You just shrugged and placed the item beside you. "It's worth a try, 'Tori. Who knows? Maybe I'll finally be able to get a reaction out of him."

"Y/n."

You looked behind you upon hearing Wakatoshi. "Hi, Toshi. Did you miss me?" you said and flashed him a bubbly smile.

"You always come here everyday. I do not see any reason for me to miss you," he simply answered before taking a seat beside you, eyes glancing at the carrot stuffed toy before focusing on the court.

Satori, who witnessed the whole exchange, just laughed at you, his eyes squinting as he clutched his stomach in tears. "Well, there's your reaction," he said while still catching his breath.

"You don't have to be so mean, Toshi." You pouted and handed him the stuffed toy you brought.

"What's this for?" he asked in slight confusion while examining the carrot you gave him.

"That's a gift. Haven't you noticed? Its been 8 months since I started courting you." You grinned at him.

"Oh? Y/n's courting captain?" came Tsutomu who was wiping his sweat with a clean towel, eyes glancing at the carrot before he exclaimed, "I want one too!"

"Have it." Your eyes widened when Ushijima handed the carrot stuffed toy to Tsutomu. "I don't need it, and please stop giving me stuff from now on. They are irrelevant."

"I worked hard for that! You don't know how much token I spent just to get that from the claw machine!" You frowned at Wakatoshi and took the toy from Tsutomu who's now obviously confused with what's happening.

"Then I'll pay the amount you spent. Just stop giving me random stuff from now on. I don't need them and I don't have any feelings for you," Ushijima said with a passive voice.

You bowed your head and Satori immediately panicked, his arm reaching out to you but you only recoiled. "You're the worst, Toshi!" you yelled at Ushijima before dropping the toy on the floor and running out of the gym.

All three of them were in shock at your outburst, completely not expecting you to say such thing. You've always been bubbly around them so hearing those words from you was something they never expected coming.

"I think you made y/n mad, Captain," Tsutomu said while picking the carrot and dusting it off.

"But all I did was say the truth," Ushijima reasoned out, eyes focused on Tsutomu who was now hugging the toy that was supposed to be his.

Satori just sighed and turned around to go back practicing.

"Captain?" Tsutomu muttered with a confused look as Ushijima suddenly took the carrot from him.

"It's mine."

For the sixth time of the day, Ushijima glanced at the closed door of the gym.

It had been almost a week and he haven't caught a single glimpse of you. No visits, no 'coincidentally' bumping on each other despite having different floor levels, nor surprised bentos. Nothing. It basically felt as if you don't exist anymore.

He doesn't even know why he seemed bothered with it. Wasn't it him who pushed you away? He should feel relieved now that you were no longer bothering him, right?

Then why did it felt like he was missing you?

"Y/n's not coming," Tendou said beside Ushijima.

"I know. They haven't been visiting lately." Ushijima stared at Tendou seriously, making the red hair chuckle before raising his hands up in surrender.

"I don't have any idea where y/n-chan is. Even if I do, my lips are sealed," Tendou said before making a zipper motion.

Ushijima sighed and looked down at the ball resting between his feet. "I don't like it when they're avoiding me."

"Hm, I can't blame my cousin for doing that though. They've been pining over you for quite a while now and each time they confess, you end up rejecting them. I guess yesterday was their breaking point," Satori explained with a shrug, "Maybe you got used to the feeling of them coming back everytime you reject them that you don't know how to feel now that they stopped chasing you."

"I..like y/n."

Just as he said those words, the gym doors suddenly opened. You entered with your usual bubbly expression, a wrapped bento in hand as you made your way to them.

"I noticed that you weren't carrying your bento awhile ago so I brought it with me," you said as you handed the bento to Satori, not even bothering to spare a glance at Ushijima who was intensely looking at you.

"Y/n," Ushijima said making you turn to him.

"Yes Ushijima-san?"

Ushijima blinked at the mention of his surname. He knew that it was normal for people to call him Ushijima since it was his name but hearing you say it seemed bothering for some reason. He was used to you calling him either Toshi or Waka-kun.

"I like you, y/n," he said without hesitation.

Satori facepalmed at Ushijima's straightforwardness. Deciding to give you both some space, he stood up and walked away with his bento, leaving the two of you to talk.

You sat down and crossed your arms over chest, body facing Wakatoshi as you waited for him to explain and apologize properly.

"I'm sorry for how I acted a few days ago, I was merely being honest that time, but now I realized that I like you too... and I also did not mean to disregard your efforts just to get Mr. Carrot," Ushijima said while slightly scooting closer to you, his hand obviously trying to reach for yours.

"You named the stuff toy Mr. Carrot?" you asked with a raise of an eyebrow. "I thought you didn't need it.."

"That was a mistake. Mr. Carrot is actually sleeping in my bed as of this moment." The side of Ushijima's lips curled up when you giggled, the sound making his heart race.

"I appreciate you trying to be nice to me, Toshi, but you really hurt me back then, you know? I even had to stay away for a couple of days," you said before looking down at your lap to play with your fingers.

Panic started bubbling up inside Ushijima at your sudden silence. Swallowing the lump inside his throat, he asked you carefully, "Do you still like me? I'm really sorry, y/n. I missed your presence inside the gym. It's not the same without you. It's been too... quiet. Please give me another chance."

You lifted your head upon hearing that, clearly not expecting Ushijima to say those words in almost a pleading manner.

Ushijima took your surprised reaction as a cue to continue. He carefully took your hand in his, his hand completely engulfing yours as he intertwined your fingers. "I won't be aggressive towards you anymore. I know you said you hate me and I'm not the best at this kind of things but for you, I'll try."

You pulled your hand away from him, only to quickly wrap your arms around him, the action obviously catching Ushijima off guard. "I never hated you, 'Toshi," you mumbled with your face buried to his chest.

"Does that mean you still like me?" He said as soon as he composed himself, an unusual soft expression forming on his face when he felt you nodding.

You felt yourself melting even more to his touch when he secured an arm around your waist. "I like you so much, 'Toshi," you said as you looked up him.

"I like you too, y/n." With that, Ushijima leaned down to press a lingering kiss on your forehead.

likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated ♥️

a/n: lately, my mind has been filled with wakatoshi ushijima

2K notes · View notes