#i’ve drank!!! a lot!!! idk how many ounces i just know i really have to pee

[panb1mbo]

i am going to drink SO MUCH water

[queenofangrymoths]

Sunset After Ashes - I

So this is a story that I was held at gunpoint by one of my characters. Her name is Ash and she’s a bi, Italian vampire. I hope you enjoy the first part of her story. Message me if you want to get tagged for this?? Don’t know how long this will go on but just, IDK, message if you’re interested.

For the record:

Topolino means ‘little mouse’ in Italian.

Conejito means ‘little bunny’ in Spanish.

-

1980

It’s funny how ex-boyfriends can come back to bite you in the ass. Or the neck, in Ashley Carissima Lucy Vecellio case. She shivered, twitching on the tiled floor of her parent’s bathroom, burning with a high fever. Everything hurt. Her neck, her mouth - everything. She’d shivered in bed for most of the day, then the pain worsened. It was enough to make her scream and cry, muttering a prayer under her breath. All of the prayers were that death might come and take her but they fell on deaf ears.

It was Sunday, she got out of church by claiming she was sick. It wasn’t much of a lie. This was the worst of it, she shivered. Rick said he’d come when she was ‘out of the worst of it’. As much as she was scared of what she was going through now - she was downright terrified of when Rick was comingto get her. Seems like we might need some context on this Rick, shall we? Well, Rick is an asshole. A complete douche. Not always, she knew but now, he was a dick.

Ashley met Rick at church when she was nineteen. He winked at her subtly and she blinked like a damsel as the song and dance began. Dates at diners, dancing clubs, dinner with her family. It was everything Ashley hoped for. She was so sure that she might marry him in their local church all dressed up in white. That’s when it took a turn for the worst.

“Where are you going?” He asked her as she walked out of their apartment, really it was her apartment but they lived together.

She grabbed her keys, putting on black sunglasses. “Just out to the mall,”

“You can’t.”

“Excuse me?” She looked up at him, her hand already on the doorknob.

“You can’t go to the mall,” he said again, she stared at him harder.

She blinked her long lashes, her brow starting to furrow. “Listen, Rick, I need to go pick up some highlighters - for my test on Friday-”

Then he said something that blew her mind. Made her furious and started a long hell. “I think you should drop out.”

She stopped, her heart beating fast. “Excuse….Excuse me?”

“I think you should drop out.”

Ashley stared at him, she grew cold as she took off her sunglasses, her eyes on fire. She’d worked her ass off to get in her program, to get a spot in a male-dominated field and...he wanted her to drop out. “You’ve got to out of your goddamn mind, Rick, if you think I’m dropping out.”

He got up, walking towards her. Why her blood chilled as he stalked up to her, she was unsure. She didn’t know why but her heart started racing faster and faster like a rabbit upon seeing a predator. “You’ll never get a job, Ashley, no one wants to hire a girl for engineering.”

Despite her fear, she held her ground. “Then I’ll be the first. Now, I’m going to the mall, to get some highlighters, get out of my way.” She hissed, turning the doorknob and walked out, slamming the door behind her. It only got worse from there. He didn’t stop her from going to her classes but he demanded to know where she was at all time, even if she was out with friends or family. They argued more, Ashley pushing against every boundary and rule he tried to set. She knew it was going to happen eventually but it still hurt when he hit her. And that, that was Ash’s line in the sand.

“Get out!!!!” She screamed, clutching her cheek and glaring at him fiercely.

“Ashley, it was an accident -” He stuttered but she cut him off, blunt teeth bared.

“Get the fuck out of my apartment before I call the police!” She growled, inching closer to the landline. He stared at her, his face paled. “Well?! GET OUT!” She screamed. It took a second but he ran like a rat with his tail between his legs. Ash took a breathe as the door closed and called her Mama, crying. It was a rough night but it was the start of something new. 

 Three years went by without issue. Rick left Ashley the fuck alone. She graduated college with a bachelor's degree in engineering and started working as an architectural engineer, turns out someone did hire her! A girl! Who would have known? Every day she succeeded made her feel smug, every achievement a little fuck you, Rick, because Ashley was petty like that.

Then the attack happened. Memories of it were blurred and in actuality, she was glad she couldn’t remember it. Still, she never forgot what Rick had said. “We can be together forever, Ashley! Don’t you see this is the best option?” Clearly, there was a difference of opinions because Ash punched Rick right in the jaw as soon as he released her, stumbling and weak but still pissed as hell. “Don’t worry, Ashley, I’ll come to get you after the worst of it,” He left her at her parents' house, claiming that he found her drunk. Ash hated him for that. That and the bite.

Days later, she was alone when the fangs grew, alone when the cravings took her. Alone and content to scream her heart out. The next two days were messy, no other words fit the proper description. At long last, she woke up changed, tired and hungry. Her family surrounding her, Mama sobbing with relief. Her aunts set to work, feeding her water and broth.

“Don’t let him in,” she whispered to Mama and the aunties. 

“Who, honey?” Mama asked. 

“Rick - don’t - don’t let him in.” she cried.

When Rick arrived the next day, claiming he was going to bring Ash back to their apartment, Mama looked him dead in the eyes and said he wasn’t welcomed in their house anymore. The strangest thing happened, his dark eyes widened and his olive skin paled as he scrambled out of the house, quicker than a jackrabbit. “Like a rat,” She muttered to her daughter. They shared a giggle.

For weeks, she couldn’t think clearly. All she remembered was just...feelings. The hunger m never went away and the new fangs pricked her tongue all the time. She knew they could fold back...somehow. Ash didn’t know how to or what might satisfy her. When the aunties finally declared that Ash was well enough to rejoin the living world, they spent the day cooking, the kitchen smelled heavenly of rosemary and garlic.

Only for Ash to end up in the hospital with a swollen throat caused by an allergic reaction. “Garlic??? Are you kidding???” She heard Mama titter before giving her hand a squeeze. “Don’t worry, topolino, we’ll get through this,”

Ash didn’t remember much of her time in the hospital. Her memory was pretty shitty right after turning, that happened with the change and her body trying to figure what the fuck was going on. Her dreams were weird - filled with blood and darkness, raw meat, and lots and lots of blood. It made her mouth water. The cravings worsened to the point that now, Ash knew she was *this* close going mad. Fledgelings needed to feed regularly, even more than a usual vampire. If they weren’t, then….it was an absolute disaster. And that’s what Ash’s turning was, a disaster.

Somehow, she broke out of the hospital and wandered wandering the streets of LA, half out of her mind. She was lucky that she didn’t maim anyone or a hunter hadn’t found her since she’d be easy prey for even a beginning hunter. Thankfully, Alejandra found her first.

“Goodness, fledgling, aren’t you a mess,” A voice was as clear as the water Ash sat in. The newly turned vampire was sitting one of the many pools of fountain Monterey Park, completely soaked to the bone. Standing in front of her was a woman with polished bronze skin, the color reminded Ash of warriors of old and their shields with dark brown hair tied back to keep out of her face. A bag was hanging in the crook of her elbow and her eyes covered by big sunglasses.

“I’m…” It was hard to form sentences, difficult to even think properly. It frustrated the newly turned vampire to no end. She was a goddamn engineer, not an idiot. “Hungry.” She bit through her lip and it drew blood. It tasted so sweet and Ash was this close to crying with relief. 

The woman took off her sunglasses, showing black eyes so beautiful, filled with pity. With a hand reaching in her bag, she stepped towards Ash. With slender fingers, out of her bag came a blood bag and she offered it to the sorry girl. “Drink, fledgling,” 

Ash didn’t hesitate, she snatched the bag and drank the contents like a starved, feral animal. Her mouth was covered in blood, steady drops dripped down her chin and found their way in the water. The woman offered her another and then another. When the third blood bag, Ash felt more like...her, normal for the first time in so many days. “Feel better, conejito?”

Ash blinked at her, her lips parting to show longer canines.“Why do I feel like that?” Her cheeks felt fuller with the fangs unlocked, she had a lisp. She just drank blood, holy shit. The metallic taste was wonderful on her tongue and the craving, the endless hunger was gone! She didn’t feel fucking fantastic but she felt fine.

The woman helped her up, covering Ash in her jacket. “Because you’re a fledgling, conejito. Trust me, I’ve seen worse,” She attempted to reassure her.

“I’m a what?”

“A fledgling,” Like a guardian angel the woman - who was called Alejandra, guided her down the streets, in the direction of the hospital. “Oh, you don’t know?” Her voice was filled to their brink with sympathy. “What’s your name, conejito?”

“Ash.” 

“Listen, Ash, this may sound impossible but you’re a vampire.” The words were serious and stern, not a single ounce of joking. Ash swallowed hard and stared, unblinking.

“I’m a what?” 

“A vampire, you need a mentor, fledgling. Who bite you?” 

“My ex-boyfriend.” Ash muttered a curse under her breath, cursing his name to God and whatever Hell she could manage. 

In two seconds, Alejandra decided that this fledgling was hers now. “Well, fuck him, I’ll be your mentor now.” the woman said as they arrived at the hospital. Alejandra gently pushed Ash in the hospital lobby  “Meet me in Monterey Park, you’ll know when.”

“Wait, you just can’t leave me here without explaining everything-” Ash turned and Alejandra, her guardian angel, gone. As if she’d never been there in the first place. Stunned, Ash watched the sunrise, not even noticing as a  nurse rushing up to her. Not until she pulled her deeper into the lobby and screaming that she’d been found.

Three days out of the hospital, three days of somewhat normality in avoiding the sun, garlic, and crosses which was harder than most because Ash was fucking, hardcore Italian. Sunshine, garlic, and crosses were practically their culture. After three days, the hunger came back but this time Ash knew what to do. After the sunset, she slipped out of her room and made her way to Monterey Park. As she arrived at the fountain, there was Alejandra with her bag, waiting for her. “I want a fucking refund,” Ash called as she walked closer. 

Alejandra’s lips quirked into a smile. “And why is that, Conejito?”

“No sunlight, no garlic, no crosses - I am fucking Italian!! How the fuck am I supposed to avoid those things?!” Ash huffed, her fangs popping out with her anger.

Alejandra threw her head back and laughed, her dark eyes glittering with glee. “You got spirit, conejito, I’ll give you that, but joking time is over. Class is in session now.”

“Will there be a test?”

“Perhaps,” and then, they got to work.

[junghaesin]

super long tag game woo

my love @floatingdownthemoonriver tagged me in this super long tag game and is giving me something to do at work so here we go! thanks love :’)

the last…

drink: water it’s pretty much all i drink time you cried: i think tuesday night during fight my way lmfao i cry over literally everything

phone call: trying to get in contact w/ the lady who runs the fellowship program i applied to

text message: me to my sister: “100 emoji, fire emoji, crown crown crown emoji” lmfaoooo

song you listened to: that girl by btob’s peniel!!!! support this angel’s solo track please and buy it on itunes or stream on spotify!

have you…

dated someone twice: ive barely even dated someone one

kissed someone and regretted it: not right after it happened but i regret dating said people for so long

been cheated on: noooo

lost someone special: yesssss

been depressed: hahahahaaaaaaaaa

gotten drunk and thrown up: only one and i’ve never drank to that point again i have weird issues with throwing up and i try to avoid it at all costs

list three favourite colours…

omg okay: sunset oranges, purple, seafoam greens

in the last year have you…

made new friends: yessss omg it’s basically been a year since i connected with and met julie, justine, and lindsey and they’re the greatest people in my life!!!! and i’ve met so many amazing friends through my kdrama network im so grateful for them!!! and also the lovely people from my korean class including my crush

fallen out of love: i’ve never truly been in love

laughed until you cried: yesss not recently though

found out someone was talking about you: noooope

met someone who changed you: i dont know if i’ve truly changed at all in the past year

found out who your friends are: i;ve known

kissed someone on your facebook list: i fucking wish

general…

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: almost all if not all

do you have any pets: not here in pittsburgh with me but my family has one pup, 3 cats, and a bunny at the moment

do you want to change your name: honestly i’ve always loved my name                    

what did you do for your last birthday: worked lol

what time did you wake up: 9:30am for work

what were you doing at midnight last night: ummm i think i was probably watching someone on youtube

name something you can’t wait for: um idk i’d like to find out about this fellowship but i feel like i didnt get it so i cant really say im looking forward to it

when was the last time you saw your mom: monday before i left to come back to pitt

what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: let’s seeee... my body, my acne scars, my mental illness, my family’s financial situation, my dad’s health, i wish my mom was happy, my future to actually look bright... so much more

what are you listening right now: nothing im at work

have you ever talked to a person named tom: in like kindergarten there was this kid in my class named tommy and he randomly added me on fb a few years ago

something that is getting on your nerves: loud chewing,leaving my room and leaving the door open

most visited website: tumblr, twitter, dramafever/dramafire, mydramalist

about me…

mole/s: i have a lot of little ones

mark/s: i have a lot of acne scarring and scarring on my back from my dermatillomania, a lot of stretch marks, scars from my gallbladder surgery, and really faint ones from when used to hurt myself, and random scars here and there from scrapes and cuts

childhood dream: cliche but i really wanted to be a singer

hair colour: dark brown, so dark people basically think it’s black

long or short hair: it’s basically right in the middle

do you have a crush on someone: yessss one of the teachers from my korean class omg i really developed the biggest crush on him hes so adorable and sweet and watching him teach is my favorite thing like this is a school girl level crush yall idk what’s wrong with me

what do you like about yourself: hahaaaaa ummmmmmmmmmmmm i love my skin tone and my eye shape andddd yeah

piercings: i have my ears pierced but i have worn earrings in years so i think it closed up

blood type: omg i learned this after my surgery i pretty sure it’s O positive

nickname: lex and lexi are what most people call me... my dad used to call me longneck and i couldn’t tell you any ounce of a reason why

relationship status: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

zodiac: libra

pronouns: she/her!

favourite tv show (s): i mostly watch kdramas now but my fave american shows would be criminal minds, lost, friday night lights, brooklyn 99, baby daddy, superstore, and the get down

tattoos: two and i want more when i actually have money!

right or left hand: right!

surgery: my first ever surgery was getting my gallbladder removed in march

hair dyed in different colour: i got red highlights in my hair in 9th grade but that’s it

sport: i played softed from ages 5-18 and i miss it every damn year

vacation: my most exciting vacation is disney world

pair of trainers: i mostly wear vans... i have nice nike running shoes that i used for work though

more general…

eating: sadly mu appetite is a mess right now bc my stomach is a mess

drinking: water, dr. pepper, arnold palmer, bubble tea

i’m about to: cry.... at any given point in time

waiting for: someone to contact me about this damn fellowship so i can just accept that i didnt get in and move on

want: a romantic relationship

get married: i want to but i don’t think anyone will ever want to marry me so

career: psychologist!!!! although at this point idk how long it will take me to get there

which is better…

hugs or kisses: kisses kisses kisses i want kisses

lips or eyes: hmmmm i like lips

short or tall: tall but honestly i dont care           

older or younger: i prefer older but i would probably date someone like up to 2 years younger

nice arms or nice stomach: i love arm

sensitive or loud: i think i prefer sensitive just because i can’t loud personalities cab overwhelm me

hook up or relationship: relationship :’)

troublemaker or hesitant: in the middle maybe more towards the troublemaker end

have you ever…

kissed a stranger: nope!

drank hard liquor: yessss

lost glasses/contact lenses: i havent lost them but one time my glasses legit snapped in half when i took them off when i came inside because they were legit frozen from the cold

turned someone down: only creepy dudes who just want to fetishize my body

sex on the first date: i could never i dont have confidence for that

broken someone’s heart: noooooo 

had your heart broken: hmmm yeah i guess so

been arrested: noooo

cried when someone died: yes :(

fallen for a friend: in like 8th grade... but not like falling in love i really dont think i was capable of being in love then but he was like my best friend and i did like him a lot

do you believe in…

yourself: idk sometimes                  

miracles: yes? idk

love at first sight: infatuation and attraction yes, love no

santa claus: yesssssssssssssssss

kiss on the first date: yes if i felt comfortable enough with them

angels: yes

other…

current best friends name: amber, julie, justine, lindsey and so many other people im really close to

eye colour: brown :/

favourite movie(s): the lion king!!!!, kick ass, juno, titanic

OKAY I MADE IT im gonna tag @properlypadfoot @jemcarstairz @hyukbinnie @bellamybbblake @seokjinings @celes-tae and anyone else who wants to be tagged!!!!

[morganbelarus]

We Tried The Health Trends Celebs Like Kourtney Kardashian & Jennifer Aniston Love

If you’re anything like me, you spend most of your time on the internet browsing the ASOS sale section and reading about shit like what Bella Hadid does in the morning. People love finding out what healthy habits successful people swear by, and for those of us who aren’t exactly “morning people,” it’s hard to relate. Like, waking up at 6am for hot yoga sounds like a terrible dare, not something I’d willingly set an alarm for. Regardless, I decided to try five morning routine trends healthy celebs love. People who swear by these habits include Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Alba, Kourtney Kardashian, Julianne Hough, and Gwyneth Paltrow—the literal beacon of health. If these women can preach about their amazing morning routine hacks, I thought I’d give them a try. Here’s how they all went down.

1. The Apple Cider Vinegar Shot

Until recently I thought apple cider vinegar was just an ingredient for baking cookies or something. But then again, I don’t bake or know anything about baking-related ingredients, so maybe that was just me. Anyway, it turns out people drink a shot of apple cider vinegar in the morning, and it’s supposed to help with killing bad bacteria in our bodies and make us less hungry throughout the day. Some people mix it with water and some people take it straight, but after trying both ways I can guarantee it’s just as gross in either capacity. I took a swig of the APV (that’s what the celebs call it) before my breakfast in the morning, and I honestly didn’t notice much of a difference throughout the day. Like, maybe I was less of a ravenous animal at around 3pm when the caffeine/ sugar crash usually kicks in, but that could be just a placebo effect. Either way, I don’t think this is doing much for everyone.

2. The Glass Of Lemon Water

The glass of room-temperature lemon water is nothing new or trendy, but every successful woman in the world does this, so I thought I’d finally get on board. Considering I usually wake up and consume a dangerous amount of coffee before 9am, it was kinda nice to drink my lemon water first and pace myself. I drank 16 ounces of lukewarm water with lemon slices before I had my coffee, and I really think this made a difference in my day. People say the water and lemon combo is supposed to kickstart your digestion and keep you hydrated throughout the day, and I can confirm that I felt a lot better on the days I had my lemon water. I felt like my digestion was on track and I was super hydrated, and I got less tired once the coffee started wearing off. Once again, this could be a placebo effect, but I totally felt like a wellness blogger in the moment so that alone was worth it. Ugh, love my healthy lifestyle.

3. The Early Morning Workout

The only thing worse than the girl who describes herself as an “early bird” is the one who voluntarily sets an alarm to start sweating before the sun is up. The early morning workout is a painful and tragic morning routine, but literally every single successful person does it, so I couldn’t pass on this one. Like, even Mark Cuban gets up early to work out six days a week. I literally thought his job was just sitting on a leather chair while listening to people trying to get his investment. Anyway, getting up early to work out is difficult and requires a lot of strategy. You have to lay out your clothes the night before, brush your teeth in 10 seconds, and basically pretend the snooze button doesn’t exist. Honestly, it feels good to know you got your workout over with before work, but it’s so painful to get there so IDK how many days a week most people can realistically do this without going insane.

4. The Probiotic

A lot of celebrities have been preaching about taking a probiotic every morning, so I had to look into this magical pill and see what’s so special about it. I’ve never really been into diet pills or sketchy vitamins, but apparently probiotics are the real deal and our bodies actually need them. After doing some research, I found out that our bodies are filled with microbiome, and by taking probiotics, which are essentially “good bacteria” for our gut, we can balance our microbiome while improving our digestion and balancing our blood sugar. The probiotic definitely takes a few days to kick in, but once it does, you’ll definitely notice a difference. By taking one pill in the morning before you eat, you’ll feel less bloated and gross during the day, and you’ll probably feel like your stomach is flatter, too. I’m not a doctor or a scientist, but like, it can’t hurt—right?

5. The Mindful Meditation

Ever since morning meditation became the new Diet Coke with two Adderalls, everybody claims they love their moments of mindfulness in the morning. Like, these people literally take the limited time they have in the morning to sit in silence, or even worse, set their “intentions” for the day. While it was hard for me to take this habit seriously, I thought I’d give it a try. I downloaded a popular meditation app and followed a morning meditation that lasted like, 10 minutes, and it didn’t do much for me. It was hard to sit still and focus on my breath, but then again, I may have gotten more out of it if I went in with a better attitude. I mean, maybe I’m just not the “mindful” type of person like all these LA-based celebrities with two hours to kill in the morning. I live in New York City and have to be on an overcrowded train before Jennifer Lawrence even opens her eyes in the morning, so excuse me if I don’t feel like meditating at the crack of dawn. Can I live?

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6/25/17, 5:30am - idk

Another long two weeks on the books. I really like this update schedule, it’s like just long enough that I don’t forget everything that happened lol.

 I had a really weird dream sometime this week. It was kind of amazing, so I feel like writing about it for a sec. I was on some like cobblestoney/brickey kind of streets. A little bit Doctor Who London meets Chapel Hill I suppose, and all around me people were starting to riot. I think it was a feminist riot like I had encouraged Cullen to do months ago, and people were starting to shoot at each other. I was like duck this and took off running, but as I made my way down these outdoor escalators by a target I got scooped up by a group of five girls. Each of them grabbed a hold of one of my limbs and held me down and the last had a bat and was ready to smash my junk to pieces. I was like crying or something screaming not to hit my balls because they were still fragile lmao. When all seemed lost and I was about to take a beating one of the girls got bit by a fucking zombie on the neck and started gushing blood. All the girls freaked and I knew it was my time to get the fuck out of there so I bolted like hell. I ended up finding a laundromat tucked into a corner of this outdoor mall and so I decided to build myself a barricade there. I let in a little girl and her family, and they helped me move the washers and dryers, stacking them up (I guess I was superhuman or they weighed like nothing) to build a giant barricade at the entrance. We were safe from the zombies for a while, but some government agency started taking them down outside. What looked like an enormous leech made its way inside, and I held it up to see that it had a big mouth and teeth in the center of its belly. One of the zombies tried to make a big enough crack in the washers to get in, and I held up the leech who ate the zombie whole. But the government or somebody was trying to get us to come out of our hiding spot, saying they only needed one of us. When the family decided they were going to get rid of me because they didn’t know me I decided that this was bullshit because it was MY hiding spot, and furiously threw the leech out of the place. It landed in the middle of a small platoon of guys and exploded, turning them all into zombies. Then I was like holy shit this got even weirder and I woke up lol.

____

So anyway, Sunday I managed to get a nap in before heading out to pick up frankie. we talked for a while while fonzi was getting ready and all headed out to this food truck rodeo. We had some of the most delicious shit. Not gonna elaborate too much, but there were these pork belly bun sandwiches that exploded with a crackling of meat flavor and rounded with the savoryness of the fat in every bite. Holy shit I could eat them like every day of my life lol. We spent a good couple hours there, started doing this meme where Fonzi decided that Frankie looked like a celebrity from new york because her hair is all blonde too now. Since Sean and Angel didn’t come to meet us, we decided to hang out at angel’s for a bit. Just chilled and talked for a while while we deliberated whether or not to go swimming. When we finally decided to it was sunset, so his pool was closed, and then we tried to go to my pool but it was padlocked. Pretty damn disappointing, but we walked around catching fireflies and listening to music, which was nice. I took frankie home, but missed a turn and then a road was closed so we ended up detouring through chapel hill, and I decided we needed to stop and take a walk through the arboretum. Ended up going to one of the little grassy openings and in this big oak(?) tree up above us the fireflies must have been mating. In that particular tree they lit up every couple of seconds, making it sparkle in the night. There were so many fireflies that it was like a constant twinkling, like moving christmas light strung up between the leaves. It was beautiful. But not romantic in any sense unfortunately. lmfaooo she called me out asking if I was going to try to make out with her while we walked into the garden and I tried to play it off coyly like “who me? You were the one who kissed me last I remember.” and she had forgotten about this time that I may have actually imagined in my head so who fucking knows. The long and short of it is it seems like there isn’t an ounce of me that she’s attracted to. So that might work really well if I randomly decide to take her up on her aloof offer to move in with her in Boston one day. Who knows. I stll don’t know what I want to do.

Mon - work. Tony told me at the last minute I wouldn’t have patients that weekend, so I had to work mon and weds and take a hit on tuesday to follow through on my date with Katy

Tuesday I kicked some fucking assssss in doubles. Carried my buddy Will hard to get some experience for BMR. And Katy came after she got off work! I got to introduce her to ashleigh, it was sick. I was so fucking happy to have her there and so excited to get laid and so tired from burning out from doubles that I got demolished in singles and took off. Butttt unfortunately katy wasn’t feeling well so she fell asleep on me like Immediately when we got home. Was nice cuddling up with her though. Was torn for a while because I felt like I should be trying to hang out with Ashleigh and Aaron instead. Decided not to because she wasn’t feeling well and I should try to make her feel better because I’m a sappy fuck.

weds - work

thurs - had another really low key day with Katy. kinda just hung out until she got off work and then we just slept again. Bleh.

Luckily since I got the weekend off, it left me free to see Tony and Morgan for their birthday!! It was a fucking awesome weekend, showed up just in time friday night to smoke and go to dinner with everybody. Everybody fucking cheered when I came in the door, it’s like nothing ever changes with us I love all of em so much. Finally got to meet Tony and Morgan’s S.O.’s, and I like them both a lot. Once we were all a little stoned and being a little awk Laura made this hilarious offhand remark “ok, welcome to the conference. These are your friends.” that both became a great in-joke and also made me feel less terrible for being socially inept when I got high as balls for the first time in forever lmfao. Dinner was insanely good, we got like a whole bunch of small dishes at this place Pasteur or something, ate family style and got to try so many different dishes. I remember steak tar tar and this rib that was like eating caveman bacon on a stick being incredible. Also fried pickles and all sorts of stuff. Had a couple beers there, went to a bar and bought tony a tequila shot, got home, pulled the liquor out of my car and everybody got toootally fucking wasted. I don’t remember all that much, a little bit of a nostalgia fest with Alex for a while. Tony made the clutchest move ever ordering us a pizza super late in the night. But not too much later after gorging myself I puked my guts out and crashed on an air mattress with Erica lol. Was probably drunk enough that I might have tried to make moves otherwise, even though she has a bf now apparently you know me -_- . She’s lookin suppper fit nowadays. I think she’s still uniquely the only girl I’ve rejected in my life. Back when I was just a pure little kid and didn’t want to do anything sexual without it being special yet. Fuckin weird typing that now lol it doesn’t sound like me at all.

Saturday was river day, bought some beer and hiked with it about a mile to this river and spent most of the day there smoking drinking and chatting. It was fucking gorgeous out there, and everyone looked great together laying around on this rock. Got to know Dana and her gf much better, and tony’s gf. I think I drank like 5 or 6 beers floating around in the river, it was a lot of fun trying to ford across (it had poured that morning so the water was flowing pretty fast) without spilling any beers lol. Towards the end of us hanging out in the lake me and Laura floated around in this raft morgan had brought, and alex was reeling us in and casting us back out again like he was our dad. Such an excellent day. Until then I hadn’t told anyone about my vasectomy because I didn’t want to take attention away from everyone else, seeing how it had become such a talking piece on our family vacation and how much of my conversation with frankie had revolved around it. But I mentioned it in the river and said that it was because once I found out it was reversible I felt like the onus of birth control shouldn’t be put on the woman. Everyone was just like “huh wow that’s fucking awesome I totally agree,” and I like swam away for a bit instead of discussing it further. But when we were hiking back up to our cars Mike told me “yknow you might’ve started like a revolution back there with the vasectomy thing.” I was pretty fucking drunk and a little high so I honestly wondered if he was just fucking with me for a second, but I really appreciate that he said that after all the shit I got from my family. So that was a long ass afternoon of being out in the sun, and everyone got exhausted and fought to stay up but seemed like after we got back at some point everyone took a turn of getting too high and getting zonked out on the couch. I took a nap in Tony’s bed until his dad got there and got to see him for a bit. More great food was cooked, but I felt bad that I was so tired because I kinda wanted to rage again, especially since some new people came to hang that night, but not people that I knew. As a present Tony got the fire pit from their old house, and it was really neat to have another fire and sit around it with everyone. Sunday Tony and Morgan and some people cooked an enormous breakfast for everyone. Hung out with Mike and Erica and all talked about how good we look now lol. Eventually we said our goodbyes, I stuck around after everyone had left to chill with Mike and Tony for a while because I had nothing to do back at home. Katy decided she didn’t want to chill. I had waited on my dad for a long time to see him for lunch and so I didn’t smoke too much but got a little inebriated and watched nearly a whole season of Silicon Valley with Mike and Tony and his gf and Mary.  Sun - came back at 4, got home at 7, idr that night. Mon - Stayed up until like 6am watching Doctor Who, had to go to chapel hill for a JKCF function at 9, barely slept at all but met some new cooke friends so that was cool. Went to raleigh w/ will to play melee, got suuuper fucked. Went 0-2 in singles AND doubles, the worst placing I’ve had in... well ever, but it’s been months since I’ve had one that bad. Tues - Had a redemption tournament at Geeksboro. Got second place, actually won a little money. Disappointed that I threw away a few games that might’ve given me first but had a lot of fun. Katy told me she was sick that morning, and since she had been no fun to hang out with the last week and she bailed on our plans for Sunday and that day I decided to break things off with her. She was confused and hurt, of course, but I was just like “this is bullshit you’re treating me like I’m not a friend” and we hashed things out about her worrying about me having too strong feelings and that we’d just be friends who have sex and watch cartoons and stuff. So we’ve still been snapping every day but I still haven’t seen her in a while. I’m glad we’re still friends though, I was feeling helllla fucking self conscious for a hot minute.

Weds - I hung out watching Doctor Who most of the day, but went out to the bar Ashleigh was working to hang out for a while. She introduced me to her friend who was kinda plastered and seemed like she was leaning for a kiss on our introductory hug. So I was like woooooooh baby I love gboro people I can’t believe I have to play catchup at fucking 11pm lmao. Chugged a few free beers for this Shocktop promotion, and since I hadn’t eaten anything I got just tipsy enough that I could flirt with her without feeling like a Total asshole. We were chatting about some music and stuff, went inside and danced for the tiniest bit, and then she basically kissed me three times. Nothing egregious or any tongue or anything because I was still wary of her being a little off her ass, but I realized I got a text from ashleigh saying “come talk to me.” I was like “oh what’s up?” and she said “well it doesn’t matter now, it’s just that she’s married, they’re in a rough spot but I didn’t realize it was That rough.” ha haaaaaaaaaaa goddamn just my luck lol. She ended up puking on the side of the bar, I made better friends of a few of the regulars and played pool with them, I hung out with Aaron when he showed up at the end of the night and got to hear about the drama between him and his old roommate, and I sang a bunch of karaoke. Another fucking wonderful night, fshoooo. Got a philly cheesesteak and passed out, was super hungover the next morning lmao.

Thurs - got off work early story of that girl that I posted Fri - work, getting ready for bmr, finally got my spare setup in the office at work I’m so fucking happy it doesn’t make enough noise that it disturbs the patients. I’m gonna be a god one day lolol.

Also just as a benchmark I’m 4 episodes into season 8 of doctor who now. Comin along nicely. Def the hardest I’ve binged on a show in a longggggggg time.

OH and last I learned how to solder on weds. Finally did the work on that controller mod and it fucking brokkkkeee kinda tragic, I had to throw out the guts of the controller that I learned to play the game on. I thought I was going to be fucked for a while, but luckily Will had my back and lent me one of his spares that works even better than the one I had before. Might have actually been lucky as fuck despite being out $50 on the microchips and soldering kit lmao.

Anyway my life is amazing, I’ve been doing personal finance numbers in my head a lot but I think that’s because I’m just reassuring myself that I don’t have to worry about money much anymore. Eating well, still not doing much french fries, trying to quit soda. Started doing pushups+situps+pullups before my showers, so maybe I’ll be a little fitter, even. Life’s pretty great. So fucking excited for BMR2 next weekend, hopefully I’m gonna kick some ass. Gonna be a muchhh nerdier update next time I get on here lol.