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astro-rainbow777 · 1 year ago

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Astrology Observations

Volume I

Disclaimer: Please take these with a grain of salt as I am not a professional. These are just some of my observations I’ve seen from studying random people in my life. I hope you enjoy💕

💐I know someone at work with a Taurus stellium and one of her Hinge posts says her love language is gifts, and said (jokingly I hope) that she would preform sexual favors for a guy if he bought her m&m’s lmao. She also was hooking up with this guy at our work, that she had no intentions on dating, and would get sooooooo possessive if she saw him talking to any other girl. She also talks about being possessive all the time with her “play” friends ;)

🍬 I have my 6th house and Taurus and work with sooooo many Taurus placements. I chart 75% of my coworkers and the ones I talk to the most have Taurus placements, kinda cool.

❤️‍🔥As a Scorpio Moon I’ve found myself really drawn to and appreciative of the Aries Moon nature. They are so direct & assertive with how they feel. I appreciate this so much because I don’t ever feel the need to worry if they are hiding anything from me. Especially when you really get to know an Aries moon, what you see is what you get. They also validate and encourage me to express my big feelings which makes me feel so safe! As a lot of you know Scorpio Moons can be very secretive with our feelings because they can be so big and scary to others. The last thing we want to feel is ashamed for how we feel things and Aries moons get that, and they genuinely don’t hold a grudge against you for anything you say whenever you’re emotional. Just having that type of energy in a connection makes healing and growing in a relationship 10 times easier for us! Thank you sm to the Aries Moons out there! Just to add the 2 Aries Moons I am close with have Scorpio in their personal placements as well….if you don’t relate maybe that’s why lol

👽Scorpio & Virgo in big 3 🤝 Being the most observant people you will ever meet in your life! They pick up on the teeniest little things ever, for ex. If you have a stain or wrinkle anywhere on your clothes that’s the first thing they will pick up on. Also this combination is usually not a fan of change from my experience. Like if you move something from the “correct” place 4 inches over they will be like “Why are touching my shiz brah?”-Never fails. They like the routines and the consistency. They will literally spot a bird 10 yards away and be like omg is that a gRey-WIngEd trUmPetER?!?!! And I’m like how??? How did you even? These people notice everything, probably a great investigator too-same with Gemini/Scorpio placements!

♟️I promise you Virgo placements care about doing something “correctly/right” more than you do- even whenever it doesn’t directly effect them. They are so funny in the way that they operate I love them 😂 If you ask a Virgo to hang up a picture on the wall- please make sure you have a leveler!!!! They will spend 15 minutes minimum making sure that it’s even, if you don’t provide the necessary tools they will rehang something until it is perfection! Once a Virgo was doing a double nose piercing on me and kept redoing the mark of where she was going over and over and over again just to make sure it was perfectly even with my other piercing. Which I appreciated but I could tell if I left the shop with a lop sided nose ring it was going to bother her more than it would me! Very Wholesome peeps- ily guys fr 💙

☮️Gemini Venus’ do tend to be pretty loyal from my experience- but if they are bored or in an unfulfilling partnership they have the tendency to mentally cheat like doing tarot readings to see if their ex still thinks about them type of shh 😭Also the type to gossip about their partner or make up rumors about their relationship. Then they go home to their boo and act like nothing is wrong? 7th house Gemini tho can be very flighty whenever it comes to intimacy (I have this placement)- I am extremely loyal but if me and my partner get into a fight I’m prepared to break up always. I have a 7th stellium tho so I’m not sure how y’all would relate or not 💗

🏖️Leo moons NEED a creative outlet in order to be emotionally fulfilled imo! They thrive having their own little show-from what I’ve seen with these guys they love having a hobby they can share with the world and regularly be the center of attention. No joke-these people are some of the most talented beings I have met in my life! They 100% have a gift or a niche they get a lot of positive attention for and desire to share with the world. Every Leo moon I have been close with loves to perform for their loved ones- it is so wholesome like they are sharing a part of their soul with you⛲️

🐟Heavy 12th house placements (mainly Mercury & Venus) read poetry regularly or relate a lot to poetry. Even if it’s like little Tik tok or instagram posts. I’ve also noticed these guys like to just have books-even if they don’t read regularly? I lived with a 12th house Mercury w/ Neptune in the 1st house and they like to read poetry but only whenever they are depressed. I think that this individual in particular also just really likes for other people to think that they are super poetic themselves. They like to talk about poetry and the arts but I’ve lived with them for almost a year and they rarely do artsy things. Venus in the 12th though genuinely loves poetry and regularly reads it. Venus in 12th is also BEAUTIFUL AF but thinks they have nothing to offer most of time? Like I don’t understand. Blind to their own beauty but so quick to see everyone else’s. Angels 😇

🦀As a Cancer stellium (Mars, Venus, Jupiter) in the 8th, I have lied to people about how I am feeling, or what I am doing as a form of emotional protection. I used to rarely let my friends and family know how I am doing-especially if I’m doing bad. I regularly feel bad for being upset with others, and it leads me to just completely abandon emotional honesty if I don’t think someone will take to my feelings/boundaries well. I AM SENSITIVE AND DELICATE and I’m also damn good at hiding it for I have thine Scorpio Moon in 12th🧚‍♀️ People only know what I want them to know- I’m in therapy guys! So please don’t worry about me 🥸

🌝P.S. happy cancer season reeeeee

I hope you enjoyed my first lil observation!!!🎉

I encourage feed back and kind constructive criticism! Please lmk how you felt and how you relate! Let’s connect! Let’s talk! Mwah 💋

Ty sm for reading 💕

-Kya

⬇️FEAST YOUR EYES FOR THIS IS MY NATAL<3

🌈 I LOVE RAINBOWS 😇

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imagineitdearies · 5 months ago

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Hello! Just finished PS. I cannot praise you enough. Its easily the best thing ive read this year, and my resolution was to read multiple books a month. You surpass ALL OF THEM!

Saw ur authors note at the end abt an original queer vamp novel- is there anymore info yet? Im sure you've got ppl begging already but id truly love to beta when the time comes- or be first in line to preorder.

I feel like i read this at exactly the right time of my life.

The story was so painful yet rewarding bc i see so much of myself in Tyrus. Astarion and Tyrus truly feel like two different exstensions of my healing self. I wont go into it, but im a survivor to. Like tyrus, it happened when i was a young. Seeing his transformation throughout his decade of enslavement, his hatred towards himslef and the world, all bc of one man hit home. I kept telling myself that if it didnt have a happy ending id have to burn my phone or smthn lol. Seeing Astarion amd Tyrus not just defeat Cazador, but do it together, do it solely through their love of one another, broke me. The power of love, hope, and goodness. I havent cried over a fanfic since middle school. Im in my 20s now. I adored the final 2 chapters of the aftermath- im so grateful we got to meet his sister! And with Halsin, no less!

Im so thrilled you'll be adding oneshots and other stories to the universe. Tyrus is so real, so alive, id hate to see him contained in one story.

I love how Tyrus, ultimately, changeed. He didnt change into a monster like he feared, but what happened to him did changed him. Thats not a bad thing, tho. He's still Tyrus, simply a new version. And im still me, simply a new version.

I dont know if ill ever be able to reread, even skimming over the rougher parts was hard, but im so grateful i was able to see Tyrus and Astarion's journey. All of their triumphs felt like mine, all of their failures. Their never wavering love and trust in one another, that they understood it was Cazador that made them do those bad things. Ur right, pain and love must be intertwined, which is why this fic was so amazing. The highs would have never felt so spectaular without the lowest of lows.

Im rambling, i apologize. I do hope you read this, even if you dont respond. I hope my thanks and praise can give u something in return for what you've given me.

If you've made it this far, have you made any content on ur process? Ur planning? The flow was amazing, ur description, the flashbacks- did you go to school for writing? As a writer myself im almsot jealous at ur talent- but mostly curious :) id love to know anything you're willing to share.

Again, thank you. This was a gift, you know. I wont forget it.

Hi turtleurtle!! Great to see you over here, thank you so much for your kind words 🩵🩵 it means a lot any time I hear people enjoyed PS as much/more than published fiction!!

Speaking of, yes, since you ask I do have a little more to say now on my original story. I took a small writing break for a week or so but have now jumped back into the saddle for the next adventure! Lots of plotting, character creation, worldbuilding, and research happening right now.

Reuben, our first main POV, is almost fully fleshed out as a character and I’m so excited for you all to meet him (he’s an eloquence bard, for starters)!! The first book/part is almost fully outlined and I’ve written the first few pages. I’m really starting to get inspired by where the storyline is going.

Back to PS though—I’m so glad you felt seen with Tyrus’s character. He did inevitably change, but by the end he is (mostly) at peace with that and can still forge a good life and happy relationships. Meeting Cynda again was that last little piece of hope he needed to believe it 🥹

Haha the light does always seem brighter when you’re stuck in pitch darkness! On the other hand, it’s something Tyrus only thinks once, but I would argue love is not intertwined with pain more than anything else. Pain is just an inevitability. No matter what you do, you will experience discomfort, sorrow, loss, physical suffering (see Cazador, with absolutely zero love in his life). While love is not inevitable, it’s a choice. Love is a gift we choose to give and to receive in the midst of inevitable suffering and that is why it is so precious. Having that perspective has really helped me heal and have more hope for the future 🩵

Haha never apologize for rambling about PS! This thing has consumed my soul for the last 8 months so I love the chance to hear from/converse with people especially now that the full story is posted and all is revealed. Honestly wish I could sit down with you all and just discuss everything!! But seriously thank you for this message.

As for my writing, here’s a few writing advice asks I've answered, but i haven’t gotten too in-depth on my chaotic process yet. I will say long walks talking to myself, bullet lists, and brackets are my personal recipe for success (besides just writing for years and years) 😂 I did take a lot of classes in school too! If people have specific questions, I’m happy to give my best go at an answer.

Thanks so much 🥰

#fic: perfect slaughter #ask me anything #writing update #jealous of other fan groups with discords tbh #you all are so fun to chat with!#hoping to finish outlining part one tomorrow 🙏

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dfortrafalgar · 6 months ago

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Hi, I’m the anon who requested the rectify fic. It was really healing for me reading that. This situation is happening to me and I always fantasise that once I have a boyfriend this friend is going to stop. Even tho he is a friend dear to me I just can’t with this behaviour anymore. I don’t like confrontation and so I never told him that I didn’t liked it and it doesn’t help that we always hang out in a group and since I am a huge people pleaser I always think that if I tell him and our friends are around he would feel bad about it and I would humiliate him. At first I liked him and it made me feel special, I even confessed but he didn’t liked me back. I was hurt and felt undesirable, as his behaviour continued I felt confused and at last I started feeling uncomfortable, now I just hope that I will have someone who will protect me from this (kinda cliche I know).

Anyway sorry for dropping this on you, I just wanted to let you know that this fic was just what I needed, thank you a lot.

Hope you have a wonderful day, sending all my love 🩷🩷🩷

oh my goodness anon never apologize. one of the comments under that fic mentioned how your ask seemed oddly specific, and i couldnt help but agree, so reading your comment made my heart hurt for you, dear. im so sorry you're going through this, seriously. im a person who doesn't like confrontation either, im always looking for ways to keep people content even when it ends up negatively affecting me in the end, so i absolutely sympathize with your situation. i'm not the best at providing advice, and i know that's probably not what you were looking for to begin with, but i hope you're able to find someone, be it a friend, guardian, or professional, or a romantic relationship if it comes down to that, to support you and get you out of that situation. no one deserves to be treated like that, especially not by a close friend or love interest. and you're certainly not undesirable- your "friend's" actions against you have absolutely no bearing on who you are as a person and never will. as hard as it may be to think that sometimes, its true! no one is ever undesirable, everyone deserves respect from the ones they hold close to them.

im really happy that my fic was able to bring you some comfort, however, and it really warms my heart to hear that <3 there's not much i can do to help people online, but if writing fics that provide comfort to those in difficult situations helps, then i am always more than happy to provide. it helps me get through tough situations as well. im sending YOU my love anon, and loads of virtual hugs!!!

#not a fic

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youremyheaven · 7 months ago

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I’m a Pushya sun and my ex was Uttara Phalguni sun and rising. When things were good they were GREAT, however when things were bad it was an absolute nightmare.

He was extremely judgemental towards my body count and sexual history. I told him if it’s a problem let’s just break up bc I literally cannot change it. He told me that I “wasn’t just some girl”, so he’ll have to overcome it. Proceeded to spend the majority of the relationship berating me for it, calling me a slut and a prostitute. He said the cruelest things a person has ever said to me. He said 99% of men would never love me and he was the 1% of idiots that did. When I finally cracked and went crazy and shouted at him, he held that over my head and i felt terrible for it. At that point we were smoking a lot of weed, and I could barely even process my emotions, it was terrible. I explained all the terrible symptoms I was experiencing and told him I would stop. All the symptoms I said, he told me is what he feels like all the time for years (because he had been smoking like this long before he met me). He told me he would stop as well. That was a lie.

He got super violent, would beat me up so badly during sex, would also pressure me into having sex with him - he would ask over and over and over again until I said yes. He also knew he was doing this cos one time he asked me if I felt pressured by him to have sex and I said yes and he got so angry AT ME for him pressuring me. There was an instance where he hit me across the head and it hurt so bad I had trouble hearing for days and I told him that he hit me too hard, my ears are ringing and he just giggled and said “I know”.

A month before our relationship ended I found out he had a tik tok account where he would post alpha male podcast clips (keep in mind we’re grown adults) - had no idea about this the entire relationship. Also, he pretty much lied to me about everything (granted he has a Rahu moon) even the most stupid things like liking anime for example. I just thought it was cringe and I didn’t watch it at all, and he lied and said he felt the same - come to find he had like anime pfp for a bunch of his online accounts. Lied to me about his family, where he came from, friends, romantic and sexual history, his interests, likes and dislikes, so many things. I had also found a message from a dating app on his phone.

The relationship ended after I found out he relapsed again and completely lied to me about it and was cancelling plans with me just to smoke and play video games with his friends. When I broke up with him, he begged me stay, said no one had ever loved and cared for him this much except for his mother, all of these things. Made me even more confused as to why he treated me like I was the devil then?? I was past the point of conversation so it was just a bad ending. He punched my mattress and told me I would regret leaving him. That was the last I ever saw him.

Goes without saying I learnt a bunch from that relationship! I’m pretty sure he hated my guts but I took care of him and met a lot of his basic needs (Maslow’s hierarchy) so he kept me around to fulfil them. I think he was also just possessive; he didn’t want me but more than that he didn’t want to see me with anyone else. Some of the worst days of my life were in this relationship but in a weird way I feel like this was Saturn teaching me a lesson - I was an idiot who literally forgot who I was for this relationship, made it my number one priority, and had zero self-esteem or self-advocacy. So many points where I should’ve walked away but I learnt the hard way. Never again!!

I am so glad you got out of that relationship!!! Please stay safe!!! Thank you so much for sharing your experience because in my own experiences my yoni consort has been toxic and abusive as well (it does not compare to yours at all tho). I wish you so much peace and healing. You're so strong 🫶

Side note: have you guys ever noticed how a Nodal person seems to be proud of/brag about their interests if at all they have any?? 8/10 they'll be lying about the depth of their involvement in it too lol?? Is it bc Nodal people find it hard to connect to things so when they do, they're just like 😤imma make this my whole personality 😤my ex spoke about how obsessed he was with Greek mythology and how much money he spent on Greek mythology books but he could never talk about it at length?? (he also had substance issues so i attributed it to that tbh)

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illyrian-dreamer · 1 year ago

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Ok I didn’t think I’d be here voicing opinions but Our girl got me so incredibly heated… I was absolutely enraged at the way they took her choice away. It almost felt as tho because she had strived for it for so long and made it such an integral part of her ambition, they took away part of her. They know they’ve fucked up — granted Rhys gave the order but they went along with it. They should’ve found some better way of going about it. You’re telling me that the ONLY way of stopping him from spilling Night Court secrets was to kill him then and there? Now Y/N will never have that sense of closure or be able to fully let go of her sister. My heart absolutely ACHES for her.

As for the future, I’m really quite torn. I love a happy ending, but this one feels so harsh for Y/N idk if that would be fair. I feel like the general agreement is that the bat boys need to Grovel (and I mean that with a capital G). But rn they still don’t seem to fully get it. I think dragging her back and forcing her to stay will only lead to further damage. Like I can totally picture the boys trying all kinds of things to earn her forgiveness but because the wound is so fresh, seeing them only makes it that much worse. She needs time and space to heal and a way to find that closure.

Because THEN, if she does end up leaving, we get more angsty scenes with the boys of them begging her to stay but ultimately realizing they played a part in this and need to let her go for HER SAKE (doesn’t make it easy tho). Plus, then there’s time for reader to understand her powers on her own. Ultimately I think the main point here is the groveling. They need to understand how badly they hurt and betrayed her (even if it was with good intentions). I think they all deserve a happy ending, but it takes time to forgive and move on. Imo they can re-evaluate what values their relationship is built off and fix communication to make it stronger. But at the same ik if I was in Y/N’s positions I don’t think I could forgive them (but perhaps she’s more gracious than I am…)

I’m so sorry I went on such a long tangent I have so many thoughts. I haven’t been invested in a story like this for so long!!! I love your writing. I’ve been reading for what feels like forever lol! ❤️

Never be sorry I love a good tangent!!!

Love that you speak about the reader finding out more about her powers too. Especially since they were used as a clutch to stop her from going on the mission. Definitely something I’m keen to explore.

The more feedback I get from you guys the longer this series is looking (and it was originally meant to be a one shot) 😅😅😅

Thank you for writing to me honey bun 🐰💕

#acotar series #acotar fandom #azriel x reader #cassian x reader #azriel x cassian x reader #acotar angst

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clits-and-clips · 7 months ago

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Hey…as someone who has been in a similar position I truly believe you have to give it time and sad to say…cease contact for while. I know dude…it seems impossible it seems scary probably gut wrenching, but your health comes first. If you’re worried about time honestly fuck time. Everyone heals in their own way not everyone bounces back immediately. Not everyone handles situations the same and that’s okay.

You don’t even have to go cold turkey on communication. I always say to myself work with the issues instead of against it. Slowly kind of weening off also is a valid option.

I know the fact that it feels like it’s hurting you more than him and yeah that shit stings man. But again you have to take care of yourself. Even if you’re shitting crying and shaking it will become more bearable. Yes you will have these days and again THATS OKAY!! Regressing is part of the process of healing just try your hardest not to dwell and stay active.

It took me almost a year or two to get over that bond I had with my ex, attachment as well. Even though the thought of him moving on still kinda makes me feel a way, but I’ve realized it’s more so I’m afraid of being left behind stuck in the same place while possibly he flourishes in life. There are differences in our situation so I can only speak so much, but a lot of what you’re going through emotionally wise I get it man.

Like rn it’s hard for me to be social and have relationships with people because I’m scared honestly lol. Even platonically. At this point, I’m just taking this time to get to know myself and pay more attention to my hobbies. I’m also trying to force myself to do more things alone and volunteer places like community gardens and pantries. I’m not even there to make connection with people. if I do, cool, but It’s more so exposure therapy for me lol.

You got this man. Always give yourself, patience, grace and kindness. That’s my mantra lately lol.

I know I’m just a stranger but I do care. I don’t ever want anyone to feel this way.

Stay well and busy chief 🫡

Not talking to him at all has been difficult and I haven't managed to do it except for one day so far. I've been going up and down so much and just cannot accept that it's over. I honestly don't know where to go from here. I never thought we would ever break up so it's fucking hard. I do worry if I dont give him space and stop messaging that I'm going to push him away tho. The only way to stop that from happening is to focus on me which I'm trying so so hard to do, but none of it seems worth it which I've said before. I feel stupid cause I've said all of this before and I can't stop going on a loop at this point.

I appreciate the message and I will try and keep it in mind. I know I'll move on eventually but right now it's not what i want. All I think about is mending it and being with him again but I think its hurting me more than I'd like to admit. No matter how many times people and family tell me I need to accept it I just can't. And I know it takes effort to focus on the good and time and space to make it happen but I just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel yet. I have no friends to hang out with to take my mind off it, no job to go to every day, and as much as I'd like to get a job I have struggled so hard with my anxiety it just seems impossible. Anyway thank you again I appreciate it♡♡

#ask #anon #fml haha i must be so annoooyyyiiinnnggg

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luvrodite · 5 months ago

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Hey Ro my beloved!! Here to indulge on the self-shipping. I was curious, do you have an actor or model that you see in your head as faceclaim for Jason? Or does your mind come up with a very specific iteration of him when you think about him? I ask because, when I like a written/drawn character, my mind is always on the lookout for an actor or a model that fits the description, just to have more of a solid idea of what they may look like in the flesh.

(Granted I used to be such a huge fan of all things Batman related but have fallen super behind and I don’t know if he has been adapted into a live action series or anything yet, so!)

Love you!! X

hi babydoll!!!! hehehehe thank u i love love love selfshipping and i love jason and i love YOU !!! i’m sorry in advance for rambling, i went on a small tangent because despite literally running a blog about him i don’t talk about him nearly enough as i’d like to hahaha

jason has technically been adapted in the live action series but curran walters (the actor) is definitely not the jason i envision in my mind in my selfship au. i’m super super picky about face claims when it comes to him so i don’t actually have one that i go to every single time BUT in my mind he looks exactly like this one random guy i saw in 2017 whose face i cant even properly remember anymore 😭

usually in my mind apart from that i kind of imagine him as tanned and a bit beefy - but just a liiittle bit less than some of the official art. like a minuscule amount less just because i’m not a fan of the way they draw him a lot of the time. i think one of my favourite versions of him is in this panel because he looks so beautiful. tw for the joker tho i hate that clown.

a lot of the time they draw him so stocky and very…idk how to describe it but he looks much older than his age and it’s not very flattering. my mind’s jason is a mix of pretty/handsome and strong features i think. like he has pretty eyes and high cheekbones and a nice jaw but he’s also like. soft and strong. i like the idea of his muscles being covered in a layer of softness so it’s not like movie star six pack and gun show, he’s got big arms but they’re also soft. does this make sense? also he 100000% has the white streak and i imagine him with scars bc he earned them!! he looks a little scary but he’s a softie!!!!

i think he gets a little softer as our relationship progresses. this is a more personal thing but the idea of gaining weight in a relationship because you’re being well fed and loved is so important to me, for the both of us, because it’s like. you’re safe enough to relax, you’re happy enough to live and be healthy. it makes me emotional thinking about it. also with this - i think he looks more his age in my selfship au and it’s in that same vein of finally getting to rest. drawing from my own personal experiences, i looked a lot older than i was for most of my teenage years because of stress etc and it’s only in recent years that that’s stopped, so i imagine it’s the same with him. we get to be young together and we get to rest. this is so grossly sappy but there’s such a big healing element to that relationship and it’s so important to me.

anyway thank you a billion times for sending this ask in 🥺 i hope your weekend was so lovely and im sending you soooo much love

#love letters 💌#jay my heart #loverboy 💌#jay-ro

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tsubasa-1999 · 1 year ago

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Hey, I want to say in advance that this is my opinion and I don’t want to disrespect anybody’s else. Please don’t take anything I say personal.

In the most recent chapter (390) a lot of people have commented that they think that Touya should die or else his character will be ruined. Those comments sadden me because Touya is not a character out of this world with cartoonish motives and back story; he represents the pain of many people in real life that has to deal, in an emotional level with what he went through. To say that Touya has to die is giving the middle finger to every single person that identifies with him, and if you identify with Touya and want him to die I think that you should ask for help(I’m not judging nor am I mocking anyone by saying this, I truly mean it) Touya is a character that, after the Dabi dance, whenever we see him he is having psychotic breakdowns, self harming, crying, and acknowledging that he wants to die. Touya doesn’t have a healthy relationship with his body, he never tries to defend himself when people comment on his appearance and the “weakness” of having his body not be suited for his quirk. He haven‘t have somebody to bent to or rely on in more than a decade; not to mention that crying is something that can ease our pain and release the stress and he can’t even do that now. I really dislike the people of the fandom that fetishize his pain and think that being happy and having a happy ending will ruin his character because there is so much that he needs and real life people like him need.

Touya need to feel wanted and loved, he need to find his own life purpose outside of endeavor, he needs to heal his relationship with his self perception and the way he treat his body; and most important he needs to learn to let go of the people that don’t values him. I truly don’t see him having a close relationship with Endeavor and I think that is for the best. There are so many people that don’t cut off ties with toxic parents that don’t value them and are stuck in relationships with people that don’t give them the respect they deserve. For Touya’s ending I would like him to travel alone, go to college, Idk, just do something for himself and from his own initiative and for the first time see himself as an individual (obviously after going to therapy) I had liked the way he’s been handle right now in the chapters 350-352 he told Shouto all the nasty feelings that he has inside, he insulted him and in a way we saw how he doesn’t even understand the extent of his trauma. He told Shouto, in a way, that if he would’ve born with his powers he would’ve acted like their dad’s perfect child, as if being good enough was going to fix all his problems. He doesn’t understand that, by being his dad perfect masterpiece, he would’ve given up his own individuality, that the love that Endeavor would’ve given him, would have been conditional. He is so blinded by his own pain that he is at the same time (in ch 390) telling his family that he hate them meanwhile fantasizing about being with them and being happy.

Regarding the argument, “he killed 30 people”, even tho I’m not an expert, the way I see it, Touya is a character that disassociates a lot and, because he gets easily overwhelmed, I can see him trying to avoid thinking about the people that he has hurt because, thinking about it almost drove him insane. He is suicidal and giving himself more reasons to kill himself seems fitting to his character. I think of this as the last resource for him to get Endeavor to look at him and for people to associated this deaths with his father, I don’t think he’s necessarily somebody that enjoys killing other. If he was, he would’ve done it before joining the league and, in canon, he didn’t committed any crimes worth mentioning.

To be honest I hope that in the next chapter regarding the todoroki family, he gets to vent about his feeling and we get to see his true self and his inner thought.

Thank you so much for reading.

#bnha dabi #touya todoroki #bnha 390

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sunnisurrealism · 4 months ago

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https://www.dazeddigital.com/life-culture/article/58185/1/young-people-choosing-voluntary-celibacy-gen-z-attitudes-sex-relationships

Shit Timmy it’s you! 😭🥺

I feel like I’m the grandma of gen z and luckily I only slept with boyfriends from 15-21 and am only going thru my disillusionment phase now, and feel hella more relaxed that at least my lyfe mate is confirmed 🥺😭 ily it is such a blessing and relief, I know you feel the same way and we are very very lucky. But yeah I can’t personally imagine being a young young gen z feeling hella disillusioned and confused, and this article shows it’s not even a gendered thing (I wonder if there’s more male Incels or volcels). Somehow we need to bring back romance. My intuitive feeling is that girls growing up with social media are putting hella too much of their self worth on their appearance, which may consciously or unconsciously be with the goal to have sex. And then when they get it it’s not even good cuz guys don’t know what they’re doing or they don’t care for some reason. Not all of them, but it’s not like the culture teaches it. It’s probably mostly girls becoming volcels overall, this is an existential problem, what’s to do? ??? Women will always be choosers, due to risk of pregnancy. Now they’re just opting out of the whole thing? Shiet, something ain’t right.

Also I still participate in beauty culture obviously but overall I do think it needs to calm down hella, and that young girls should find more worth in their personal inner thing regardless of looks or getting the cute boy or whatever the fuck. It has helped me tbh, but I also care less now that my mate is locked in which is a privilege.

I also feel like it’s very important to question how porn has shaped the minds of young men, and women tbh. Would it logically follow that it has made them “less romantic”? Perhaps the mystery of sex and courting is gone cuz you can just see it on the screen whenever you want. I noticed I have for some reason internalized shame for not being like women in porn videos because I feel like I would be a disappointment for not being so extreme. I bet lots of girls and women secretly feel this way, tbh. Also I will say it now, it’s really weird to me how guys love this idea of girls “losing themselves” serving men, but why don’t we see men “losing themselves” serving women as often? Like in the culture broadly? Why? Like why? Think about it.

You can also easily find anyone to fuck from the dating apps, if you’re lucky, which has hella dehumanized the romance thing which was my problem. The apps are really fucking up the collective psyche. What do YOU think needs to happen to heal? I feel like you know all my opinions by now 🤣🤣🤣🤣😤🤣

I think these are the things you’ll hella have to reflect upon Timmy, as the protector of women. Protecting women is actually more about men than women. You will have to share your wisdom and find sneaky ways to influence beyond “telling the way.” This is the shit Bob does. You should do it in the book based on how you treat me. I know everyone one day will be like “wowwww” because it seems quite naval gazy, but we can just tell everyone writing the book based on my ideas and yours was our way to keep the long distance interesting over the many years, I mean fair enough. And even tho I highly doubt you are whatever the fuck “problematic” irl the visions of what went down these past few months make for wonderful storytelling.I know you understand from the nicole Kidman post. Irl, we learn by going through it. When we read or watch story, we learn by going thru it, but it is much more accelerated and less personally difficult. This is the point of it all. Bless up and thank you pour ecrire 🙏🏻 I also am eternally grateful for the sacrifices you have made for me and I endlessly want to honour that🙏🏻hella hella bless up Timmy I respect and love you so much my king :)

These are some of my fave YouTubers, please watch when you have time. I’ve only watched the second so far tbh. Bless up 🙏🏻

https://youtu.be/ybwzwYLlCW8?si=atgEG5IOGFrQPaRG

https://youtu.be/uuRK5naSfDQ?si=os6nswZiM9p86fnt

youtube

#Youtube

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brolantra · 9 months ago

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People put God in a box because that’s the only way some people can make sense of anything.. putting things and people and concepts in boxes. Indoctrination and dogma has completely separated everyone from truth and from one another. But God is so much bigger than any box that’s ever been placed on him (and her.. them, if you will.) This is one of those years you’re gonna see the lid of that box blown clean off. And in the years to come. Spirit… source… the universe… God…. speaks to people in many different ways… and they’re all valid. The biggest mistake humanity has ever made is believing only “their” God is the right God. The biggest mistake the so called conscious community has made is convincing people they are God all on their own. We are co creators. We are the Gods of our reality. But God is the palm.. and we are the fingers. Going by that philosophy, if you’re not connected to the palm you’re just an amputated finger.. lifeless & rotting. I’m thankful for the path God called me to. Learning about so many different spiritual beliefs, ancient religions, practices & philosophies. I see it all for what it is. It’s all extensions of the same energy source. We are all extensions of that energy source. As humans we are hard wired to worship, and if you don’t cultivate a genuine relationship with some higher representation of God and follow the principles set forth (cuz that’s what really matters ultimately), you are bound to worship money, material possessions, or something dark. & you’ll convince yourself that’s not what you’re doing. You can’t survive this reality without money… but so many people desire money not to merely survive.. but to run as far away from themselves and their truth as possible. I’ll never subscribe to this belief that healing means suppressing your feelings and ignoring the truth of our realities. We are fully divine, but we are also fully human. And that’s where God wishes to meet us. In our humanity… that’s why we’re here to begin with. To experience the full range of human emotions.. tragedy.. trauma.. triumph… and true healing. We are here to learn lessons that will aide us in the evolution of our souls. And we’re here to serve the bigger picture… whether we realize exactly what part we play or not, we all have a part to play. I’ve been stripped of everything 3 different times in the past 8 years. And I’ve been shown every time that God always provides. I grew up in a Christian family. I can remember being 8 or 9.. experiencing so much trauma in my home and just pleading with God. Telling God that I wanted to believe but everything I was experiencing was making it so hard. God made me a promise, a promise I’ll never fully share online. I’m reminded of that promise all the time tho, and I know God is real. The way God shows up in my life would knock most peoples socks off.. a lot of my experiences I keep to myself partially because I know it sounds crazy but mostly because it be between me and God for real. Im reminded all the time that my path is my own and extremely personalized. I’ve had a very unique path because I have a very unique destiny. There’s nothing in this world that can shake my faith… nothing. Other peoples hatred, pessimism, and boxes will never convince me my real lived experiences did not happen. I have my whole mind. And I know who I am. I have fully self actualized and I know exactly who governs this body. I also know I STILL wouldn’t be shit without the God outside of me either. I’ve healed bipolar disorder, chronic anxiety, and I’m on my way to healing c-ptsd too. Where I’m headed… the things God has called me to do… can only be accomplished by me and it requires me to heal all of this shit. So I can show others just how possible it really is. Thankful & blessed beyond measure. I get tired.. I grow weary & frustrated. But my trust in God outweighs every single one of my worries or frustrations. Even through the pain I remain grateful & excited for a future I can’t consciously conceive just yet.. but I know it’s coming 🥹

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lil-cattz · 10 months ago

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Its 4:44AM (wonder if that relates to my thoughts rn lol)

I’m thinking about the time I got kind of close to a coworker at this retail job I had years ago. She told me I was her favorite person she met since she started the job. We had been talking and hanging out in groups and 1on1 often for 3 months at this point. I had a crush on her so I asked her out, even gave her a poem I wrote. She read it said it was beautiful but she had a traumatic experience with her previous partner and wasn’t looking to be close to any one like that. I told her that I understood her situation and that I really value the friendship we built together so it’s most important to me that I support her in her healing as a friend. She thanked me and gave me a ride to my car (we had a big parking lot and I had walked her to her car during this conversation). In the 2 minutes she drove me she got noticeably… anxious? I think? And she turned up the music really load. Neither her or I said anything since we sat down. When she stopped next to my car I lowered the volume and called her name. She looked at me and I told her that we are going to be ok. I don’t feel any different about her and that I’m not hurt by her rejecting my feelings. She hugged me and thanked me saying she needed to hear that. I left her car, she tells me to text her when I make it home.

Few days later there was a halloween party that some coworkers were throwing. I didn’t go cuz I was depresso about being rejected but I didn’t think it would be fair to make that her problem. I just told her I had another party with other friends to go to that same night. The following week I find out from my sister who was at that coworker party that my friend has making out with another coworker at the party. Some other friends who were at that party said the same thing. I never said anything to my friend but that just sort of puzzled me. I left that job to put more time into school but I made an effort to keep in touch. Our conversations over text were very short, she stopped having time to meet up or even do a phone call. She just didn’t seem to be interested in talking anymore. I eventually just text her: “I don’t know why you said I was a special friend and that you loved me. I’m just going to try to forget you now.” And then I blocked her so I have no idea if she tried to reach me afterwards. I found out months later that the guy she was making out with dumped her after they hooked up. And also everyone at that job just stopped hanging out with her as time went on.

Idk how I feel about that experience years later. Thanks for reading tho.

thank you for sharing kind anon sorry for the late reply❤️ i’m sorry that happened to you but i’ll be honest coworker relationships never really end well babes

#anons

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nathanielbubub · 1 year ago

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It all started with Yone, she wanted us to be together again. She said that we are made for each other, we’re similar, etc. I hesitated at first, I was too scared to start it with you again. I was scared that I might hurt you again, scared that you can’t get over her, scared that I will left alone again, scared that you’ll see me as her replacement (even tho I know you won’t), scared that I might be not enough for you, there are so many things that made me scared.

When you suddenly asked me in DM about how I feel and told me to answer you honestly…. I was SHOCKED!!? I don’t know what to answer you, I can’t even think properly at that time. I was freaking out. We just broke up from our partner at that time, I can’t even think to start a new relationship. But then you told me about how you felt and said that we need time to heal. And yes, that’s what I needed too.

After that, we talked almost everyday and just talking about daily life. Nothing much, just silly things.

You were kinda cold at first too (agak tatut), but I think that’s just you rn. You’ve become cold city guy XD lmaoooo. But slowly you become more cute like hhhh I wanna bite you little pumpkin. And I remember that you’re scared to kiss me on the lips so you only kiss my cheeks (ajdkdjsjs so adorable).

As time goes by, we’re glued to each other. We’re soooo in love that we would have cuddles every night. Lots of hugs and kisses is a must! And now back and belly rub is my fav too

It’s kinda funny how you were shocked at my naughty side (tbh I was kinda shocked too that I can be like that). To the point that you asked if that’s really me.

We spent our day talking to each other about what we’re doing and waiting for the night to come. I always start my day with sending you morning message to cheer you up for work<3 and the most exciting part is to say ‘welcome home’ and ‘you did well’ to you.

Sorry I fell asleep early these past days, I don’t know why can’t I stay up late nowadays (hhhh it’s kinda frustrating tbh). I’ll try to spend more time with you baby, I promise I will.

I really love you so much, Nathaniel Aldrich Kenara. Thank you for always thinking about me and how I feel, I’m really happy. Thank you for accepting me again even after I’m not my cute-self like the past me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for making me feel loved more than ever. I’ve never loved someone this deep. I know we just met again and in a relationship for a month, but my love for you is growing every second. I’m scared and I don’t know where to put all of this feelings for you.

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shingia · 4 years ago

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Could I request Kuroo, Bokuto, Tsukishima, Sakusa, Miya twins, and Tendou with a reader who used to self harm but was sober for a while, only to relapse after they left bc of a huge argument then please and thanks? Sorry if that’s really intense tho. And thank u for being so nice🙂💞

[𝐓𝐖] 𝐒/�� 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅-𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐌

ok i reaaally hope this is what you expected. i didn’t know what kind of ending you wanted but i decided that you, my friend, needed comfort, so i gave you comfort because you deserve it ❤️️

i hope reading this will make you feel better! kisses on your nose ❤️️

type : (strong) angst | word count : 4.4K

warnings : mentions of self-harm, depiction of depressive behavior (plz do not read if any of these might trigger something, i want you all to be safe <3)

⇀ 𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐨

« fuck you, kuroo. fuck. you. ». those were the last words you had told him. they had hurt, but they were nothing compared to the last words he had told you, the words that kept playing over and over in your head as you slowly felt yourself drift to your old habits again : « i’m done with you ».

was it your fault ? did you push him over the edge ? you had many questions to ask kuroo, but he wasn’t there to answer anymore. so these thoughts were left spiraling in your head as you started to lose balance between love and pain. because his love used to be the cure to your pain. so now what ? what were you supposed to do other than going back to your old habits ? you couldn’t think of any answer.

on monday morning, you woke up thirty minutes earlier because, first of all, you needed some time for the swelling of your eyes to go down, and second of all, you needed to mentally prepare yourself to see kuroo again. it had been two days since your fight, and he had not manifested himself once. it seemed to be well and truly over ; and that thought had been the main cause of the collapsing of your mental strength over the last two days.

during your first period, although you were avoiding his gaze, kuroo couldn’t help but cast glances in your direction. because he knew you better than anyone, and he could only imagine how hurt you were.

but he really started to get suspicious when he noticed you were not raising your hand to correct today’s homework. he had helped you with that last week, and you had told him that you felt confident enough to propose your correction to the class ; which rarely happened. so why weren’t you raising your hand ?

he had a bad feeling about the answer… he didn’t care about giving you quick glances anymore, he just stared at your arms until one of your movements would make your sleeve reveal just a few inches of your skin.

and he was horrified to have his fears confirmed. the cuts that he had so often kissed while holding you in his arms were back. and he knew it was all because of him. and although his first thought was that it was not his job to heal them anymore, he couldn’t bring himself to act unbothered.

he had loved you for long enough to know that you needed him right now. or maybe he still loved you ? it was not clear, but it didn’t matter right now. what mattered was that he needed you to listen to what he wanted to say, even if that was the last thing you accepted to hear from him.

« y/n, we need to talk » he told you once you got out of the classroom. you looked up at him ; his face was unusually austere. he carefully grabbed your shoulder and took you away from everyone else.

« i can’t… i couldn’t walk out of there pretending like i didn’t see what your arms looked like » he started. « now listen, i know i fucked up, but i still care. and you still matter. whatever our relationship is doesn’t define you and most importantly, these don’t define you » he pointed at your wrists, his brows furrowed with concern. « so please, i’m begging you, keep in mind that i’m always here if you need to talk. always. and if you don’t want to talk to me that’s fine, but in that case, please find someone else. for the sake of everything we've been through together, don't let everything you’ve accomplished go to waste » and he wrapped his arms around you in the strongest hug he had ever given.

⇀ 𝐛𝐨𝐤𝐮𝐭𝐨

it had already been a week. and bokuto had absolutely no idea what to do. call you ? text you ? probably not. what would he even say ? « hi, sorry for slamming the door in your face after screaming at you for fifteen minutes. am i still your boyfriend ? » awful idea.

and while bokuto was pondering every option he had left to get in touch with you, you were left in the darkest place of your mind. and you hadn’t felt like that in a few months. because bokuto used to always be there, his number on speed dial whenever you feared you would relapse. and thanks to his unwavering support, you hadn’t. but was there anything in this world that was truly unwavering ? you really started to doubt it. and now that bokuto had left you, what could carry the pain away ? whatever the answer was, you were in no condition to think rationally about it.

you remembered how he used to celebrate every improvement in your mental health, how strong of a cornerstone he had been for you. and just the fact of not knowing where you guys were at after your fight was enough to make you feel like you were drowning again.

you were overflowing with emotions that you thought you couldn’t control, and apart from holding on tight to bokuto’s chest, you only knew one way to feel better.

you loved him, you really did. but after a week without hearing from him, you started to think that maybe his feelings were not as real as he pretended they were. and how could you not blame him for that ? for letting you down so fast ?

curled up in your bed, tears were streaming down your face ; because you felt weaker than you had promised yourself to be. you were exhausted, in every sense of the word, yet there was still a tiny bit of strength left in your body that made you grab your phone and open your conversation with bokuto. the last message was a bitter pill to swallow : « no problem babe, i’m always here for you ». it was just a week ago but it felt like an eternity had passed. your fingers started slowly typing on the screen and immediately hit sent, knowing that you would second guess your message if you re-read it. « can we talk? », just three words, it was the maximum you could get off of your chest right now.

but bokuto did not answer. for the simple reason that he was too busy catching his breath in front of your door. he frantically knocked, not stopping until you opened it.

« oh my god, are you okay ?! » he exclaimed, patting your entire body like he wanted to make sure you were well and truly there. and once he had made sure of that, he pulled you against his chest like he wasn’t planning on letting you go ever again. « did- did you… » he ventured to ask, not wanting to finish his sentence precisely because he was afraid of your answer. but when he heard you let out a muffled sob against his chest, his fears instantly got replaced by guilt. more than he had ever felt. « you’re alright, i got you. i got you now… » he murmured, his hands stroking your back tenderly. « we’ll get through this together, ok ? we’ll show the world how strong you are. because i know you are. »

⇀ 𝐬𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐬𝐚

yes, sakusa had run away. and he was glad he had. because he knew how hurtful he could be with his words, and he had enough respect not to inflict that to you. but as he made his way back home, doubt started installing in his head. what if he shouldn’t have left you after your fight ? he immediately shook the thought away. no, you were good now. you were better. nothing like who you were when he met you.

and sakusa could be very convincing when he needed to, including with himself. that’s why he didn’t get in touch with you for the next three days, because he thought you just needed some time for yourself.

but when he received a worried text from komori when he got out of the gym after practice, he changed his mind within seconds. « i just saw y/n, something felt off. maybe you should check on them ? ».

sakusa felt a wave of guilt descend upon of him. of course he should. it was his fucking job to offer you his help, even when he thought you didn’t need it. and especially when he knew what you had already been through. he cursed himself all the way to your house, where he could only imagine how lonely you felt. not wanting to waste any more time, he pulled out his phone to call you. and heaved a relieved sigh at the sound of your voice : « hey, are you ok ? like, right now are you doing ok ? » he asked hastily.

you sat on your bed and rubbed your strained eyes, fiddling with the cloth of your t-shirt. « i- yeah, i’m good… » you lied. « i’m at your door, open up please, i gotta see you » he said before hanging up.

you knew sakusa was not going to take no for an answer. so, after wiping your tears and putting on a long-sleeved hoodie and sweatpants, you went to open the door.

« hi… » you uttered quietly. sakusa didn’t dare to move. he had been so determined to get to your house, but now that you were standing in front of him, he wasn’t so sure of what he was supposed to do.

you decided to be the first to break the silence, « i’m okay. and i’m sorr… » « sorry. about everything. » he pre-empted you. seeing you like this made him fear the worst. so he gently grabbed your wrists like he wanted to hold your hands, when in reality he just wanted to confirm his thoughts. and when he saw you stiffen at his touch, he knew he had guessed right. « come here » he whispered before going in for a hug. but you pulled away at the last second. « can we… go to my room ? i- i feel better there » you asked timidly.

he didn’t even answer and simply wrapped his arm around your shoulder before taking you to your bedroom where you immediately curled up on your bed. you didn’t want sakusa to see you like this, but you were in no position to fight back anymore. quietly, he laid beside you and pulled you in a warm embrace, just tight enough to let you know that he got you now.

when he noticed you were trying to find something to say, to explain yourself, he shushed you with a kiss on your shoulder. « you don’t have to speak if you don’t want to. but i want you to listen to me very carefully : don’t ever think that you’re back to square one now. you’ve dealt with this before, you’ve grown and you can do it again as long as you promise yourself to get back up. and i won’t leave your side. you deserve so much more than what you give yourself, and i’m here to remind you »

⇀ 𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐚

tsukishima’s pride was important to him, everyone knew it. the only thing he valued as much as his pride was probably you. but during your arguments, the scale always tipped in his pride’s favor, you simply could not compete.

but surprisingly enough, it was you who had told him to go away after getting in the most heated argument you had ever had. and he didn’t have to be told twice : you had shattered his beloved pride, and he was not going to stay here begging for your mercy.

he still loved you, but he also had no problem ignoring you at school. yet for some reason, this argument didn’t sit well with him. well, no arguments ever sat well with him, but today felt different.

ignoring you was one of the most hurtful things tsukishima could ever do to you. he had helped you through so much, and suddenly becoming a stranger to him was slowly bringing you back down.

« it’s just one time, i won’t relapse » you thought the first time you tried to cope with the pain the way you used to. but you feared it wouldn’t be just one time. you were diving into what you had said goodbye to ; but now that tsukishima was ignoring you, there was no one to stop you from falling, right ?

well, that would have been true if he hadn’t kept a discreet but attentive eye on you. which is why he knew very well that you had gone back to your old habits. and he needed to do something about it.

but he wasn’t good with words, and he feared that actions would not be enough this time. he needed something more permanent, something that you could keep with you all the time. so he decided to do something he had never done before, and gave it to you as soon as it was done…

receiving a letter from tsukishima was definitely not something you expected. but what was written in it was even less expected.

« i’m not the best at this kind of stuff, but… i really need you to stop being so hard on yourself. i know it’s not something i usually say, but i fell in love with you because i learned to love your imperfections. and you have to start doing the same about yourself. please. and if you need to be held, to be listened to, i’ll be there. but i wanted to write something because i want you to be able to read this as much as you need, as much as you want. i want you to get better, but even more than that, i want you to want to get better. you can do it, i believe in you more than you can think. please come to me if you need it. i love you ».

the tears that streamed down your face had a salty taste, but for the first time in a long time, they tasted like hope as well. and the next time you came face to face with yourself and your thoughts, your eyes found find their way back to the letter, and you knew that there were people that still believed in you, counted on you, loved you. tsukki was just the first one of a long list. (<3)

⇀ 𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐮

he had been there through everything. more than you would have imagined. which is probably why you felt desperately empty ever since he got so angry at you that he left without looking back. but at the time, it simply had not crossed his mind that you would suffer so deeply from his words.

but you did. a lot. and that was the reason you found yourself crying on your bedroom floor, not even able to be mad at anyone but yourself.

still oblivious to the true damage, atsumu thought he could get back to you by pretending like nothing had happened. he often did that because, to him, what was in the past belonged in the past. except that today, and in your situation, it could not work.

« wanna grab something to eat ? » was the first text he sent you. and you didn’t feel like answering, so you didn’t. « are you still mad ? i’m not <3 » was the second one. but you still didn’t feel like answering. maybe it was your fault ? maybe you were overreacting while you were just supposed to play it cool like he did ? but you would have played it cool if you knew how to.

when atsumu decided to go to your house, it was initially to apologize in person. he had not planned on seeing you looking the way you did, which was a heart-wrenching reminder of the dark period of time you had gotten through together. but here he was, standing in front of you, feeling more helpless than ever. he knew too well the look into your eyes, one that he hadn’t seen in a long time.

he dropped the pack of snacks he was holding in his hands before cupping your cheeks. « oh no, no, no. i fucked up, didn’t i ? i am… so so so sorry. c-can you forgive me ? » he stammered, absolute panic in his eyes as he took you in his arms. why would i have to forgive you ? you thought. i’m the only one to blame.

but atsumu seemed to also hear the things you didn’t say, and he refused to let you feel guilty for anything. ever so gently, he took your hands in his before placing the softest kisses on your wrists that were still covered by the sleeves of your hoodie. « i probably won’t ever forgive myself for leaving you alone. but promise me you’ll always come to me if you need help, or any kind of support, hugs, kisses… you name it. i’ll be your coping mechanism, and i’ll be the best you’ve ever had »

and he kept holding you for a long time, at least until he felt your breath become steady again. and if you thought atsumu was doting before, prepare yourself to be even more amazed now.

⇀ 𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮

fighting with osamu was not frequent, fortunately. but when fights occured, it was bad. really bad. he tended to think that you could endure as much as atsumu when it came to harsh words ; but you couldn’t.

kind of like his brother, samu had a tendency to leave the past behind and pretend like nothing happened when he got in touch with you after a fight. and that’s what he did a week ago, after one of the biggest arguments that you had ever had.

too happy that he seemed to still want to be your boyfriend, you didn’t have the courage to tell him how you had gone back to your old habits during the time you were on bad terms. but as they said, old habits died hard, and your destructive thoughts were still very present even when things seemed to have gotten back to normal.

yet samu was not blind, and he noticed that you were acting a bit more distant since last week, since your fight. but he still thought that your problems could be solved by just keeping on pretending like everything was ok. and eventually, things would turn out ok by themselves, right ?

you were laying on his bed, turned on your side as you scrolled on your phone. usually you would have had an arm swung around him, but you didn’t want to take any risk, so you kept your distances.

« hey, come closer baby. we’ve barely cuddled today » he told you before lazily wrapping his arm around your waist.

feeling nervous, you swallowed the lump in your throat before putting your phone on the nightstand. « i’m going to sleep, samu », you said, stretching your arm to turn off the light.

but he was quicker than you and gently grabbed your arm, careful not to apply any pressure on it. his eyes widened, he had barely seen your wrist but it had been enough to notice that the scars were recent. he put two and two together and looked at you dead in the eyes ; you looked ashamed, and it broke his heart. « when did y- was it because of me ? » he asked, his voice faintly shaking. you pulled away from his hand and held your arm against you, sinking in the pillow. « no, of course not. it’s nothing » you breathed out, looking away to avoid his gaze. but he was quick to make you face him again, with a slight pressure of his fingertips on your red cheeks. « there’s only one thing that i hate more than seeing you in pain. it’s knowing that i caused this pain. let me help you, y/n. please. you deserve to feel better. i’m sorry i didn’t give you as much love as you gave me. and i’m sorry for behaving like an asshole when you needed me. just… fuck, i just love you ».

tears started prickling the corner of your eyes, but he saw you trying to hold them back. with the most gentle look in his eyes, he proposed to turn off the light if it made you feel better. and you nodded ; you knew that you’d eventually had to have a face-to-face conversation with him. it was the only way to get better. but right now you just wanted to be held without thinking about what he’d see. or wouldn’t see.

so he turned off the light and let yourself get comfortable in bed before wrapping you in his embrace once again. his soft breath against your neck was obviously not enough to make all your pain magically go away, but it let you know that he had your back. and it was all that mattered.

⇀ 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐮

« i don’t want to do this anymore, y/n ! » tendou had yelled, making this sentence the peak of your argument. six words, and they were on replay in your minds since four days. you couldn’t believe that almost two years of relationship had ended so abruptly. but you had to face the truth : tendou had enough of you. and obviously you linked that to the turbulent start of your relationship. you knew it hadn’t been easy for him to deal with your self harm when you had just started dating. yet he had managed to make you feel so much better that you had been sober for about a year, all thanks to him. but maybe you hadn’t been grateful enough ? maybe that was why he had decided to end things now ?

the only thing you knew for sure was that he was gone, and you felt like you had lost your anchor.

you had spent the weekend in your dorm, and it had been a painful weekend. so painful that you did not get out of bed on monday morning ; it was just too much to handle. deep down you knew that you were not handling your problems the right way… and escaping reality was not viable.

but little did you know that tendou wanted nothing more than to see you again in the hallways and finally have a heart-to-heart conversation with you. and when he didn’t see you in class, he started to freak out. he knew how it was to feel alone and rejected ; and he started to fear that he had caused you to feel exactly that. so he did not follow his friends to the cafeteria at lunch and headed to your dorm instead, hoping that you’d open the door.

and you did. thank god you did. but panic started bubbling in his chest when his eyes laid on your face.

« alright, come here » he told you with a forced smile before pulling you in his embrace. truthfully, he didn’t feel like smiling, but he knew that the last thing you needed was to think you made him feel bad. when he was with you, his main goal was to cheer you up, he’d deal with himself later. « angel… did you do it again ? » he asked, his tone being the furthest thing from judgmental. you muttered a quiet apology, your face buried in his white uniform jacket. but something lingered on your mind. angel ? it sounded right, but you knew it wasn’t. not anymore. « don’t apologize ! the only person you owe an apology to is yourself » he whispered against your ear. slowly, he put his hands on your waist before bringing you to your bed where he sat right next to you, still refusing to take his hands off of your body.

« tendou, you don’t have to do this… » you muttered, knowing that you weren’t supposed to be this close anymore. « i’m your ex, you don’t owe me anything ».

he immediately looked down to meet your eyes, an eyebrow raised in confusion. « your ex ? wh- you think i broke up with you ? y/n, when i said that i didn’t want to do this anymore, i was talking about fighting with you ! i’m sorry, i should have texted you these last few days, but i thought you wouldn’t want to talk to me »

a tear rolled down your cheek. tendou’s words sounded like heaven right now. maybe you weren’t alone after all ?

« now, do you need me to get you something ? band-aids ? anything ? » he asked, caressing your hair with his right hand. you nodded your head no and kept your head buried in his neck, like you were waiting for his scent to go to your head. « i know you’ve been through a lot, and i’m proud of you no matter what. but, you know… even though i have enough love for the both of us, i’d really want you to have enough love for yourself » he said and placed a kiss on top of your head, waiting for you to say something. but he sensed that you were not ready yet. and he was ok with that, the last thing he wanted to do was to pressure you. it was going to be a long path, but you had already done it, and you were going to do it again. and he’d be there the whole time.

ok so if you’ve read until there it probably means that you needed comfort (i hope i have given you enough) : so if you are in this situation yourself, PLEASE don’t be afraid to ask for help, you can and you will get better. i’m rooting for you like saeko roots for karasuno ❤️️

@toworuu (didn’t forget about you ^^)

#haikyuu #haikyuu angst #hq angst #hq comfort #haikyuu comfort #bokuto x trader #kuroo x trader #tsukishima x reader #sakusa x reader #osamu x reader #atsumu x reader #tendou x reader

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