#i’m so sleepy after writing allll that

[leclerced]

I’m not sure if we’ve established that Max knows that Oscar being jealous is the reason Bunny has pulled away from him

but I’m picturing him finding that out months later when he happens to catch her for a hug and she tells him she’s missed him and he’s all “I am at your beck and call, no reason ever to miss me no matter where I am or you are” and without realizing what she’s saying, she mumbles something about how Oscar doesn’t want her to be doing that kind of thing anymore

so he ends the interaction the way he normally would, knowing now that this wasn’t her fault and not wanting to punish her for it, and immediately gets a member of his team to set up a meeting with Oscar, disguise it as something to do with work, the whole bit

and Oscar gets there thinking it’s a normal meeting and is surprised to find Max alone in a conference room in the Red Bull motor home and it quickly gets to “setting aside the fact that I had her in my bed before you even thought about touching her, who do you think you are to tell her she can’t have me? What I want and need is frankly irrelevant here, she should have everything she wants at all times and I can’t believe the balls on you to deny her just because what she wants is me”

-〽️

i was thinking about this yesterday and i had way dif ideas but i love this sm!!!

im thinking it’s post race, max wins of course, and she’s on her way to find oscar and lando when she crosses paths with max. she opens a door leading down a hallway and immediately sees him walking towards her, grinning down at his phone. she was caught off guard by how good he looked in his post race glory, still sticky with champagne from his podium. it hits her how much she misses him when he looks up and his smile gets bigger and he tucks his phone in his pocket. he’d forget about wherever he was going as soon as he saw her, and move to scoop her into a hug. she instantly melts into his arms and she can’t help but whisper, “i miss you maxie.”

max hearing bunny say she misses him instantly gives him hope. he hasn’t made a move on her in months but they’re hugging and no ones around and he’d set her down but keep his arms locked around her as he says, “i’m right here, schat, we could go right in that bathroom.”

she’d sigh and try to step back but he holds her there and she’d say something like “oscar wouldn’t like that.” and she means it to be playful, he can hear it in her voice, it hurts max because he for one, though oscar liked him. but whatever. after the momentary hurt, he’d be so angry bc he realized bunny isn’t seeing him because oscar, not because she doesn’t want him anymore. he could handle not having her if thats what she wants, but like? seriously? he was in love with bunny before oscar even fucked her if he’s being honest with himself and hearing that oscar fucking is the one calling the shots all of a sudden? he’d ask bunny if oscar is why she hasn’t seen him and she wouldn’t say anything. he’d tell her he thought he did something wrong, and they both know it’s about his muffled confessions, but she just shakes her head and says she has to go before anyone sees them and that’s enough for max.

i think he would go to lando honestly because they’re friends and he was bunny’s boyfriend first. he’d immediately call him up and ask to hang out that night to celebrate in his room. lando’s like “yeah let me ask bunny and osc if they’ll come!” and max isn’t ready to fully hash things out so he tells lando just him, no one else. lando’s nervous for some reason, max sounded too serious to celebrate even though that’s why he said he called.

he’d go to max’s room after showering in his own and it’s the first time in months one of them has been in the other room. max would immediately ask if oscar is the reason things were called off, and lando get’s protective and tells him it’s none of his business. that would hurt max and he’d kind of overreact and say that it’s not fair that he loved her before oscar even touched her and yet oscar’s preventing him from loving her. and lando’s like woah. what the fuck? you love bunny? and max would realize she’d never told them what he’d confess to her when they were alone. he kind of loves the secrecy of it, but he knows it’s because oscar would have ended things a lot sooner and he’s pissed again. i think lando would want to talk to bunny and oscar before continuing to talk to max about anything bc it’s a lot to take in !

max waiting like days without hearing anything so he does the meeting thing bc maybe he can get through to oscar. lando hasn’t talked to them yet bc he’s still trying to wrap his mind around the way max feels and how he might feel, trying to think about how oscar will feel. but max is impatient.

oscar walking in the room ready to tell redbull he’s not interested and it’s just max! he doesn’t know what to expect but i like to think max would try to be casual at first but fail and ask him why they called it off. oscar would say it was up to bunny. max calls him out and says he knows it’s because of his jealousy. oscar tells max that he’s not part of their relationship and it’s none of his business. and max would snap and say he would be if he had fucking known it was an option. it shouldn’t be up to oscar who she sees. and then oscar’s telling him he didn’t ask her to give him up, it was her decision because she saw how it was effecting him.

max is asking what he means and oscar surprisingly tells max how he feels about it hoping max will get it and he’s like but you’re not jealous over lando, that doesn’t make sense. and oscar explains it’s different because they were together first and max cuts him off to tell him that he’d been in love with bunny before oscar was even included. it wouldn’t help max’s case, reminding oscar he has an older history with bunny, and oscar’s snapping at him that maybe he should have told someone how be felt, and max tells him that bunny’s known. oscar’s so confused by that and files it away to ask bunny about later. he tells max it’s also because lando’s his boyfriend so he doesn’t feel the need to be jealous.

max jokes, “what you don’t want two boyfriends?” it makes oscar’s oscar’s head spin and he’s suddenly thinking about all the times he made out with max while they fucked bunny and he’s confused. he doesn’t say anything so max is like “i just don’t get why the way we feel about each other doesn’t matter.”

oscar leaves at that to go find bunny and ask her how she knows that max loves her and he’s not angry, he’s hurt. he’s kind of spiraling thinking about their history and max loving her and her loving him. and also about max’s grin while he laughed about him being their boyfriend and wondering if it was genuine or sarcastic. he’s bad at talking about feelings and worse when he doesn’t even know how he feels, even moreso after the faux meeting with redbull that was max cornering him that leaves him wondering why he got involved bc life would be so much easier if he wasn’t in love with her, but he is and he doesn’t think he can live without her. all oscar knew was that he understood how max was feeling. he’s thinking about max being in love with her but not pursuing more because be didn’t know it was an option. how he was the exact same way in the beginning until bunny told lando she wanted more. he’d realize bunny probably wants more and is too scared to ask, and that makes him feel worse bc he wants bunny to talk to him like she used to and she can’t anymore because of the way he’s acted, most likely.

[meltwonu]

💕 INBOX ROUNDUP 💕

*more under the cut 😭💕

hope u like that Joshua drabble 🥰💕

honestly, I thought about this before too, like also posting chapter previews and stuff? but the reality is that I'm just not active enough on tumblr to be that organized or even remember to update a WIP list or anything 😭😭 some days(mostly tues/thurs) I'm not even online and tbh I write drabbles while i’m taking a break from work so sometimes they’re not even decided until the day before I post them bc I focus on work/etc. ☠️ lol I know my blog is super chaotic I'm sorry 🥲 I don’t ask for any reimbursements to write fic either so I tend to just go at it how I feel like lol 

YESSS I had a few issues drafting it but soon!! 😌💕

THIS TOO!! I wanted to start drafting but I couldn’t decide if I wanted it to start from like, kinda where the first drabble started or kinda, draw it allll the way back. but I think I'm gonna go with the latter? ☺️💕 more plot HAHAH

BEING FINGERED WHILE SPOONING IS LOWKEY SO HOT????? sth about it being like, unhurried and just imagining a sleepy wonwoo kissing your shoulder with his fingers knuckle deep inside of you is 🤤 the way I would pay that man to do that lmao ksjdhkjh I'd probably start crying from the softness LMAO

AND THANK YOU!! 😭💕💕 it was the softest thing ive written recently ☠️ 

once it ends tho.... what will replace it? 😳🥴 heheh 💕

I’m glad! Have fun writing fic, that’s the most important thing! 💕💕💕

RIGHT?!?!?! UGH ESP AFTER A HARD DAY 😩😩😩 PLZZZZZ THE WAY HE WOULD SPOIL YOU!! 😭

Wonwoo always strikes me as a gentle lover 🥲 kind and compassionate... always willing to listen and learn things about you... the type to bring you home a random trinket from a small shop on the way home and then give it to you like “I thought about you when I saw this” and it’s just like, a ceramic cat or something 😩 plz... 

and thank you so much! 😭💕 I rly wanted a soft and gentle chapter somewhere in here hehe~

[imnotwolverine]

The marriage pact - Reality strikes

Henry Cavill x OC Alice - multi-chapter

< Part 20 | Part 21 Reality strikes | Part 22 >

Disclaimer: Some angst

Author’s note: No idea what to write here today other than it’s 7.52 AM, so: good morning! 

Word count: 2.723

(Link to my Masterlist)

Dear readers,

Another year reaches its end and I’m sitting here with mixed emotions. Tonight I’ll be celebrating with friends. Meaning a house filled with a whole horde of kids and a few slightly boozed up adults.

I’ll be the only childless adult. I’ll be the only unmarried adult. And with my dear chocolate cake right now working abroad, I’ll also be the only adult that will show up alone.

It is what it is. Life’s reality. But I must admit that it sets a tiny sad note to an otherwise quite lovely year. I lost one love, but gained a far better one in return. I now know my parents better than I probably ever have - and what joy it has been to share my life with them again. Also, I am writing my first novel and that is truly a dream come true.

Looking at this from the bright side; it does give me some new goals for the next year and I can’t wait to smash next year out of the park. Do you have any new years resolutions, dear readers?

Ali

‘9..8..7…’

*BBZZZZTT-BZZZZTTTT*

With hasty fingers I grasped for my phone, hearing the count down quickly proceed. Henry bear. It was silly to feel relieved to see his name. 

He didn’t forget. 

‘5..4..3..’

Putting him on speakers I laughed as my friends had bottles of champagne in hand, thumbs on the ready-to-pop corks. Around us excited, albeit slightly sleepy, children were watching with expectant eyes, their arms hugging their favourite stuffies. It was special for them to be allowed to stay up so late, which only added onto the magic of New Years eve.

‘2..1!!!’

PffffPOP - ’Oh fuck..!!’

A cork shot out in a wild direction and near hit Gisele in the face, everyone gasping as the poor woman blinked in silent terror. Ooph..that could have gone wrong.

‘HANKK..come on!’ She laughed after recapitulating a bit, her shocked lips turning up in amused smile. And just like that the mood was good again, everyone starting to give each other kisses and hugs. After clinking my glass with a few friends I quickly walked off to the quiet of the hallway, bringing my ear back to my phone, Henry expectantly waiting for my voice.

‘Hen..’ My voice was cracking.

‘ALI, YOU OKAY? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN?’

‘Haha..’ I sniffled back a little tear. ‘No no. Just Hendrik being a fool..*sniff* with the champagne. Nobody’s hurt though.’

‘Hey baby.’ He said, still mildly concerned, hearing me sniffling back tears. ‘Hi.’ I mumbled, looking over my shoulder to see the party getting in full swing, glasses refilled and kids jumping with excitement, everyone dancing on the music that was playing on the tv.

‘Happy new year.’ I whispered, hiding another quiet sob.

‘Happy new year baby.’ He sighed. ‘Gosh I wish I could be there. I miss you terribly.’

‘Same..*sniff* sorry about this. It’s just the wine I think.’

‘Hmm..it’s okay baby. I’m going to kiss allll those tears away when I get back, okay?’ His promise sounded extra bitter, because that would take another three weeks. Three long weeks before he’d get back here for two days, only to fly back again immediately after. But then again, trying to see it on a more positive note; that gave me three weeks to put some pressure on getting that hiatus approved. And that was do-able, right?

—

‘Hi Ali.’ Mrs. Mulligan smiled, lighting up another cigarette, the office building quiet as most employees were out running reports. It was mid January and though I hoped there would be good news, I never could be quite so sure with Mrs. Mulligan. The bad ass Chief editor was hard for me to read. Was she happy? Enthused? Taking the piss? Or being for real? Sinking down in the seat opposite of her desk I gave her a pensive look.

‘Hi Mrs. Mulligan.’ I said, trying my best at returning the smile she offered me. She chuckled. ‘You worry too much Ali. Really.’ She sucked on her cigarette, the tip burning bright orange. Licking her lips she shifted forward a bit. ‘So how is Henry?’

Of course, small talk. I sighed and shrugged. ‘Bit difficult to tell with his busy schedule and the time zone issue, but, I think he’s doing alright. At least they haven’t gotten any delays thus far.’

Mrs. Mulligan turned in her chair, nodding. ‘Well let’s hope that you won’t distract him, when you join him.’ She quickly took another inhale, smiling as the realisation of her words hit me. ‘Really?!’ I sat up a bit in my chair, looking at her with widened eyes. ‘Really really. Though of course we still want to get plenty of updates. You’re one of our best reporters and..as you know..we islanders are close-knit. Even Superman can’t steal you away from us for good.’ She winked, blowing the smoke out high above her head.

I gasped quietly and I couldn’t help but laugh, the relief this news brought being just what I needed.

‘Thank you so much Mrs. Mulligan.’ I smiled.

‘You’re welcome Ali.’ She winked, then pressed her burned up cigarette down in her ash tray. Her way of saying; this meeting is over. Quickly I got up and fumbled through my jean pocket to retrieve my phone; I had to tell him! I had to tell him!

—

But I couldn’t tell him. He didn’t have reception, again. And when I tried once more later that night all I got was a quick message from him, sent from an unknown number, telling me they had some technical difficulties now they were out in the wilderness. He’d try to get a moment to call later that week, but he couldn’t promise anything. And that he missed me. Terribly.

I hated it. This. The distance. The time zones. The difficulty to reach him. The fact I couldn’t share the happy news with him. At least the good thing was that it was just one more week till I’d see him. And we’d better find a way to tackle this problem once and for all..and quickly..because with every lonely night in my bed the unease in my mind grew; like this, it simply couldn’t work. No matter how hard we both tried. If we couldn’t be together, then this relationship was doomed.

—

Once more I was standing here at the airport, looking through the arriving crowd, their suitcases rolling over the grey tiles of the hall as the cold draft made me huddle closer in my thick wool jacket. I couldn’t wait to be back in Henry’s warm embrace again, especially after being almost a month apart. It had been simply too long.

More and more people flooded the airport, loved ones embracing one another, business men back on their phones, their faces stuck in expressions of true importance. But no Henry.

*BZZZ BZZZZ*

Henry bear: Sweetheart, running a little late. Issue with my baggage.

Seeing the message on my phone, made me all the more frustrated. He was here! In this darn building! And what was up with this baggage? He really didn’t need to bring any hold luggage for just the few days he was going to be here right? Groaning in silent frustration I saw an old lady in the corner of my eye, her small blue eyes also looking over the crowd with a sense of worry. As if she couldn’t find the person she was waiting for.

Using some passersby as an excuse to move in her direction, I smiled at her, attracting her attention. ‘Picking someone up?’ I asked, finding her worried look melt in a friendly smile. ‘Hello dear. Eh..yes..my son..he was supposed to be on this flight, but I don’t see him..’ She furrowed her thin eyebrows and looked back at the sliding door, the flood of passengers slowly becoming thinner and thinner.

‘Well that makes two of us. Though I am not waiting for my son, but my boyfriend. He just texted me there’s some issues with the baggage, so maybe your son has similar problems.’ I also looked back at the sliding door, the door now sliding fully closed.

No more people coming through.

It shouldn’t have hurt so. But it did all the same. After weeks of hoping, wishing, waiting, it was all the more frustrating to have to wait even more because of something silly like an issue with the luggage. And it was especially frustrating to think that I only had so few hours with him before he had to head back again to continue shooting.

The woman turned back towards me and looked me up and down. ‘Aren’t you…’ She squinted her eyes slightly, then beamed up as recognition hit. ‘..Henry’s girl?’ I looked at her, seeing those small but warm blue eyes peering at me, her wrinkly face lined with years of many smiles and few frowns. I laughed. ‘Correct. I’m Alice. From the west side of town, work for the local newspaper.’

The woman nodded, then near jumped on her feet when the door opened and two men came strolling in. First a man who probably was her son. And then Henry. A very tired to the bone Henry, his day old beard unshaven and hair slightly disheveled. It was a silver lining that most people had long left the hall, making the odds of someone snapping a picture of him in this state just that bit smaller.

As the two men strode over towards us it became apparent that there was some mutual recognition.

‘Mrs. Penny?’ Henry blinked at the woman who was giving her son a quick but big hug. Pulling back she tilted her head slightly, taking in his disheveled look. ‘Little Henry. Look at you dear boy! All grown up! And you need a shave!’ She winked then directed at me: ‘I was his drama teacher.’

I wished to smile at her, but before I could I felt two large arms wrap around me, a head dipping down in the crook of my neck.

Henry.

Home at last.

Running my hands over his back I looked through the confines of his big embrace at the lady called Mrs. Penny, her son checking his watch as if he wasn’t quite willing to wait a moment longer. I felt Henry pull back and for the briefest of moments his lips brushed over mine.

‘Hi.’ He breathed, smiling at me warmly, albeit with great tiredness.

‘Hi bear.’ I smiled, stroking a thumb over his cheek.

Turning back towards his drama teacher Henry reached out his arms, wishing to receive a hug from her as well. She gladly accepted, snickering a bit as Henry was near twice her height and triple her weight. The tiny lady and the huge bear of a man.

‘Mom, it’s time to go. We need to get eh…’ The son licked his lip as he looked at Henry, a glint of jealousy or distaste lingering in his eyes. Thankfully his mom was quick to agree. ‘Yes yes. Time is fleeting! It is good to see you Henry and I love your work. Though gotta practise that smile talking a little.’ She tutted, pinching his cheek with some motherly affection. Henry laughed and shook his head. ‘It’s good to see you Mrs. Penny and..please..let us not hold you up.’ Henry nodded at the other man, who was practically sneering at him.

—

‘Something happened with that guy?’ I asked, driving us home in his dad’s car - anything better than my mom’s car. Henry sighed. ‘Got our bags mixed up and he just kept saying my bag was his, refusing to open it and compare the contents.’ 

He sounded so done with it all, voice low and dry, eyes peering out over the icy cold waves hitting the frosty shoreline. ‘Sounds like a pain in the ass.’ I frowned, looking at him a bit better. ‘How are you Hen?’ A question that I could easily answer myself; awful. Because he sure as hell looked awful, his whole aura dark and gloomy, perfectly fitting the weather outside.

‘Could use a nap.’ He yawned, looking back over at me and trying his best to offer me a smile, the joy not reaching his eyes.

Oh my poor bear.

‘Then let’s nap and talk later.’

‘Yea..’ He reached out a hand and squeezed the hand I kept at the gear stick. ‘I’m terribly glad to be with you again. I am. Just..tired..’s all. Sorry if I..-’ 

‘Hen..it’s okay. Relax. Close your eyes for a bit and I’ll tell you when we’ve arrived.’

‘Okay.’ He slowly nodded, immediately closing his eyes, settling more comfortably in his seat.

‘Okay.’ I whispered.

—

Running my hand through his curls, his head resting on my lap, I folded over another page of the book I was reading. We were sitting / sleeping on his parents couch, his father upstairs going about his business, his mom out for tea with a friend. The house was nice and quiet, all sound reaching my ears being Henry’s slow breathing and the buzz of the dishwasher running in the kitchen.

He looked tired even while sleeping.

Oh poor, poor bear.

It was then he shifted a little, heavy eyelids slowly blinking open and his lip curling up in a tiny smile. ‘MMmmmm…’ He hummed, nuzzling his nose in my thighs, making me giggle. ‘Hennn! Cheeky!’ He chuckled in turn, his voice deep with sleep. ‘Am I still dreaming?’ ‘No, you’re not. I’m here. And you’re home. And it’s 11.30, in case you wonder.’

He sighed deeply and nodded, shifting so he was laying flat on his back, his ocean blue eyes looking up at me. ‘Hi.’ He rumbled. ‘Hi.’ I sniffled, tracing my fingers through his curls again, massaging his scalp ever so slightly. ‘Mmm..I missed you. Your hands..’ He slowly sat up, moving his nose into my chest, sniffing a long line up into my neck. ‘..your smell.’

I giggled again. ‘Okay then Geralt.’ He smiled and sat back a little, cupping my cheek. ‘It was worth every delay, every sleepless hour, every luggage swap annoyance.’ And then he placed the first proper kiss on my lips. Soft and loving, as if testing again how I feel like. How our lips can slot together perfectly.

And what a good kisser he was. Hmm.

Humming gladly I didn’t wish the kiss to end, but he eventually did break it, chuckling softly when I leaned into him a little more. ’How are you sweet one?’ He asked, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, looking studiously at my face. As if relearning what I looked like.

Gosh we had really been apart for too long. If anything this had to be prevented from here on at any cost. At any..

‘OH! I have news actually.’ I smiled at him, my worried face turning up with pure joy. He also started to smile. ‘Does this mean that..?’ - ‘Yes. Or well. I don’t know what you’re assuming here. But eh..yea..I received green light for my hiatus. So..’

‘AAAHH YES!’ He let out an excited cheer and quickly pulled me in for another kiss. Deeper this time. And longer. Until both of us had to pull apart for the simple fact of requiring fresh air in our lungs. He was properly beaming. ‘Oh baby..oh…so..when and..?’ He babbled, keeping my face close to his. ‘Now, right now.’ I laughed, feeling his aura lighten up, the dark storm clouds pulling away, his eyes finally starting to shine with happiness.

—

The next morning we had our usual morning walk and it almost felt like it had for all those months before he left. Albeit that there was no happy Akita trodding ahead of us - Kal was still in Canada. With gloved hands interlinked we stepped in steady rhythm, small clouds coming from our mouths as we talked and laughed into the cold morning air.

‘You better pack real warm. It’s really, really cold over there.’ He smiled, pulling me closer and kissing my cold red nose. ‘Mmpff can’t wait.’ I grumbled - hating the cold, but accepting it if that meant I could finally be with Henry. ‘Hahaha. Oh sweetheart. Now...’ He halted us before a large blue slatted house. ‘Are you ready to move in with me?’ He raised a teasing eyebrow and I poked him playfully in the ribs.

‘I thought you’d never ask.’

--

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[shaekingshitup]

Shae’s First Date

For anyone who is bored: the most brief (that I can recap because ya girl is a lengthy heaux) summary of my first date goes as follows:

EDIT: THIS SHIT AIN'T BRIEF. SORRY NOT SORRY 🤷🏿‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️ But I put a TLDR at the end.

I matched with a guy on Bumble who had some cool hobbies and some of which overlapped with mine. We talked daily for almost 2 weeks before we met up in person and the guy was a very big charmer/woo-er. Like if I was messaging this kid I was constantly laughing and smiling

Tbh this was a lil bit of a red flag to me becauae I'm like: "no one is this charming. Something has gotta be up" & I legit came up with a few different scenarios. But I chose to shelf them because people do that to me all the time.

Like I'm just a really loving person and I will gas people up or go out of my way to make them happy if I can and people always want to try me like that can't truly be how/who I am or if I'm doing it it's because I'm trying to get at that person and they are always wrong. All the way from best friends to new acquaintances I really just like when people are happy. I mean the world's shitty already, if I can make your day easier or put smile on your face I'm game!

So we're on the phone one night (stayed up to 3 am sacrificing my sleep talking to this dude 🙄) talking more about who we are as people, what we're looking for in an ideal partner, etc. I told him straight up both via call and via message that honesty is really important to me. I value honesty with myself and also with others.

So also in this late night call things got a lil spicy 🌶 🌶 I was honest and told him that I'm pretty much a blank slate. Never fucked/sucked, etc or had anything like that done to me. He was taken aback like everyone I share this with is. Apparently I'm some sort of unicorn 🦄 out here in these streets to all y'all hoes. He makes a comment about stealing a kiss from me the next night and I said "I might allow it."

But the point is. I told him what it was. I was honest. That's my truth.

I didn't tell him that I'd never been on a date/kissed anyone because he didn't ask. Maybe if I would've said something, things would've been different. But I can't "what if" what's already happened y'all!

SO, day of. We messagin and snapping. I'm allll ready. We're going to a drive in and I'd never been to one before so I'm excited. I'm also just committed to making this a good time because I easily get distracted and often don't stop to take my experiences in to experience them fully. So I said not today!!

I got snacks. All of his favs and some of mine. I brought drinks and a blanket. I looked good.

Like I said in my pre-date post: I didn't have any lofty ideas about this dude being my soul mate or anything but I anticipated a good time.

He picked me up at our designated location. My sister met him and got his license plate; because apparently I had enough sense to realize I didn't know this nigga but not enough sense to later realize I didn't know this nigga.

It wasn't gonna take as long to get to the drive in as originally anticipated. So we went to a local park and sat in the car and talked because the park was PACKED and ya know RONA!

It was somewhat awkward because it was our first time talking face to face. But we found a groove and I'm extroverted af y'all. So, I can get people to have a conversation.

Topics range from our days, music and conspiracy theories which he's really into. What kind? Like: Shakespeare wrote the Bible is one. A lot of people that we know from media aren't really the original ones that we were introduced to is another. Ya know like that Beyoncé is not the real Beyoncé. There's two Trumps. There's two Hilary Clintons etc.

So at this point sensible me is like: this can be the point where you go home girl. You're 5 minutes away from your place. You can just say this ain't workin and cut it short.

OPTIMISTIC/BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT GIVIN/NAIVE SILLY ME IS LIKE: well, I 100% don't agree with anything you're saying just because you're saying it. But ya know, I don't know everything and I'm not in the business of judging people-especially since we just met and I don't want this human to feel uncomfortable. So, okay. I don't agree. But I won't judge. Let's just continue on.

If you haven't guessed by now which me I listened to, you may be just as silly as I am 🙃🙃🙃

But obviously I continued on and that's what I call mistake #1

So we're driving to the drive in. I'm realizing we're kind of different in ways. Most notable is that dude was raised Jehovah's Witnesses and celebrates 0 holidays & I'm in love with Halloween and at least birthdays.

We miss the drive in entrance due to my poor navi skills & he decides to smoke before we pull in. He offers it to me and I accept. This is mistake #2

Ya girl hasn't smoked in 6 years. I tried edibles recently. But that shit ain't the same. I really just feel like I said I wanted to be present and then I smoked and I was tired and everything was kind of dull?

So I'm high and sleepy but still a lil excited because it's my first drive in!! We get there and park and the drive in is really just a giant protection screen we all park in front of. Lmao. 😅 Idk what I was expectin but not that. But it was still cool. It's 10 and this movie still hasn't started because the last one is still showin credits.

Dude says he wants to chill in the back but he's going to the bathroom. I AM SLEEPY. THAT IS WHAT WEED DOES TO ME. Plus I was on the phone til 3 AM. So I'm like imma close my eyes before this thing starts since it's already late.

So while he goes to the bathroom I legit laid down in the back on a pillow because ya girl is a sleepy heaux 😴

He comes back and pits the pillow in his lap and is talking to me because this movie ain't started yet. My eyes are closed but I'm listening and everything and he's massaging my shoulders and whatnot. Eventually advertisements about common courtesy come on and what not. But that's not important and I don't move.

Soo he says something I'M ASSUMING IT WAS ABOUT THE KISS (I don't remember y'all. I'm about to skimp on some of these details because that high was really kickin in and I was feelin foggy.) But, I said "I would allow it." And he kissed me.

It honestly felt anticlimactic as fuck. Yeah my mind is kind of foggy because of the weed so I feel like I wasn't as fully cognizant as I would have been if I was sober minded. But also, it just happened

I'm in my head af. I've never done this and I'm sure I'm shit at it but I'm trying not to be ya know? Dude's tongue is in my mouth. His hand is under my romper.

So, I'm a roll with the punches kind of human and the rest of the film we pretty much are making out (lowkey meh), groping (I hate this word) & watching Deadpool ( for people who needed that detail)

As previously stated, all of this shit is new to me. But, I'm also not a "prude". I chose not to kiss/fuck anyone prior to this because it was what I wanted for a period of time. I couldn't do much in the date department because I was just not approached often or by people I wanted to entertain. But the opportunities for all that physical shit were presented and I chose not to just like I chose to engage in those activities on this date. I'm real big on not judging nor regretting those choices because those were what I wanted at one point and that's it. Soo if you got opinions about what I was out here doin, keep em to yaself.

We ended up making out and I feel like it was cool.. but just not great. We did other shit minus actual fucking. But it all just felt pretty muted to me. Not bad. Not uncomfortable. Just not great and I think in hindsight it was because I a) really didn't know and have an established connection with this dude and b) I was high.

He really wanted me to suck his dick and I was really hesitant to do that. Not even that much because I was checking off a lot of "firsts' or anything like that but because I swore I was gonna be shit at it due to 0 experience and that was what I told him. Like, I wanna be good at shit and also I would like if the person I was hooking up with was actually enjoying being with me ya know? Is that not a thing? Y'all just be out here tryna get ya nut and say fuck it to whomever you with? Lemme be a unicorn then. 🦄

But anyways, I did this and he says like nothing. I'm in my head af trying to recall upon all of my BP smut I've read and trying not to suck at sucking (SO THANKS TO ALL OF Y'ALL WHO BE WRITING SMUT!!). After a few minutes the car turns off and Ryan Reynold's ain't talking anymore. Sooo I take this as a sign that I should stop and tell him as much.

He turns the car back on so we can still hear the movie & I'm pretty much like half watching the movie and talking to him like: "Soooo. I did that and I feel like I was right." To which he responds, "I've had worse," which is like ya know the compliment of the century and the most reassuring feedback you can give someone who is insecure about shit they've never done.

We still ended up making out and I gave him a handjob and finished the movie. I can't recall if it was at this point or when he drove me home but he basically implied that I was a liar and that is the shit that literally makes me wanna go back in time and tell former me to never say yes to a date with this nigga.

He drove me home and I was pretty quiet listening to Ari Lennox (💕) and thinking/processing. He gets to my place and we're talking now that we're parked and tells me that he thought I probably wasn't right about never having sex before. He told me I probably just had sex like 3 years ago and it had been so long that's why I said that and that's why my pussy is so tight.

So, I'm real life hurt. I like to consider myself to be someone who has a good character and I am really big on honesty.

So I asked him why he said that if I told him from jump what it was. He told me that his ex lied a lot and that he just couldn't believe me..

And I know for certain that his assumption was independent of any of my actions. He literally just told me so. He projected his insecurities onto me. But I'm a sensitive ass heaux and that shit still shook me. PBS raised me right. I don't be out here lyin & I don't like when people try to tell me who tf I am.

We pretty much just ended up arguing about the night and he was doing it on purpose because he thinks it's sexy when women are mad. But when I get mad, I get done. If I let enough shit slide and you have the audacity to try and flip my script, I will fucking write you out of it.

Then I looked up at the time and realized I was sitting in this car arguing with nigga for at least 25 minutes. So I was just like: bitch, why are you still here?

I told him straight up that when I got out of that car he could forget about talking to me altogether and he was like: "I'll let you know when I make it home."

I told him he need not bother because apparently I'd finally gained some damn sense. I exited the car. He left. He hit me up when he made it home but I just deleted the app and removed him off of snap because I meant that shit.

TLDR; Went on my first date with a conspiracy theorist I matched with on Bumble and he told me I lied about my lack of sexual history.

[seventeen-scenarios-blog]

93&91, Chan, slight angst but fluffy ending, College Sweethearts with a break-up misunderstanding AU, if possible, please make it so we're the same age♡ Thank you in advance!❤

91: “If you can hear my heart, please come back to me.” (Don’t Listen Secretly)93: “I’m in front of you house, can you come out for a moment?” (Mansae) 

A/N: A big thank you to you for requesting!!! Really enjoyed myself while writing this, as you know how Chan’s GLO UP has affected us ALLLL ;-;-;-;-; bless us carats; Nonetheless, please enjoy! I hope you like it :D

- Scooped ✌️

Genre: Angst, Slight FluffWord count: 963Warnings: None!

It was mid-winter. You were wrapped up in cozy blankets, enjoying a cup of warm, freshly made hot-chocolate drink.

You were, as usual, on YouTube. You were watching the behind-the-scenes video of Seventeen’s latest MV shoot, and all you could focus on was Chan. How amazing Chan looked, how tired Chan looked and how much he has slimmed down… too much, you thought, as you reminisced the times where both of you were still together.

You had a healthy relationship with Chan, one of your best relationships in fact, but too bad only memories were left behind. You met Chan in school, even before he debuted with Seventeen, and since then you’ve developed serious feelings for this boy.

He was that classmate that always gave you heat packs, he was that friend that bought you Oreos all the time, and he was the boyfriend that you fell head over heels for, after he confessed his feelings to you at the school’s annual dance party.

Both of you connected spiritually instantly after getting together, and became inseparable, until that one day, where everything built up came crashing down.

You were waiting for him at a nearby park, wanting to clear up some problems that the both of you were facing. He was practicing for his debut, and he had very little time for you. Phone calls were a weekly, one hour call where you mostly talked to sleepy Chan, and meet-ups became a rare, monthly rendezvous.

You wanted to ask him if he was okay, if he wanted to keep the relationship, you wanted to ask him if he could cope with both the relationship and his debut, you wanted only the best for him.

You waited for him at the bench that the both of you always meet each other at for late night dates.

10 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour.

That night, the text messages that never got read and the phone calls that were directly sent to voicemails infuriated you, and you had enough. You called it quits.

Tears fell, and you decided it was time to let go.

“Chan, if you’re getting tired of me you should’ve just said so. Why are you doing this to me?”

Those were the last words you said to the voicemail, burning a deep scar in your heart.

If only you were a little more patient. If only you were a little more understanding. Would you still be with Chan?

You thought about your first date. It was a Monday evening, you and Chan were about to attend a ballroom dancing class. You remembered the first thing he said to you that intensely warmed your heart.

“I’m happy with us being together just the way we are.”

You looked out of the window, to see lights shining at a distance. Those were the streets that both you and Chan walked together on, and you remembered the first time holding hands with him.

He was so happy, like a little boy getting his first toy car, when he mustered up the courage to engulf your hands with his own.

You buried yourself deeper into the blankets and unintentionally thought about cuddling with Chan. There were so many cold winter nights like this, with the same hot-chocolate drinks, and the same blankets. “Scoot nearer, i’ll keep you warm,” he would always say, but this time, you were alone.

You smiled as you thought of all the happy memories made, and about how thoughtful Chan was. Soon you found yourself, trying really hard once again, to ignore the sour feelings that were still lingering from the break up.

In all honesty, you hated not being with Chan. You hated going to dance class alone. You hated walking along the streets with both hands in your own pockets, you especially hated making only one hot-chocolate drink.

You needed Chan back.

And i guess he needed you too.

A text came and broke your train of thought. Your eyes widened as you felt every inch of you going crazy. You sat up immediately from your comfortable position, and stared at the notification before your eyes.

ChanI’m in front of your house, can you come out for a moment?”

You sprung towards the door at lighting speed. You looked through the peephole, a little more excited than you expected yourself to be.

Someone in a cap and a mask.

You didn’t dare open the door. You didn’t know what to do. Should you act like you’re angry? Should you pretend that you’re fine without him? You wanted more than ever to open the door and crash into his arms, you wanted so badly to hold him and tell him to stay with you.

“I know you’re there babe… So if you can hear my heart, please come back to me…,” Chan said.

To reconcile. That’s what the both of you wanted so badly at that point in time. You were so conflicted with yourself. Your mind was telling you to let him be, but your heart was telling you to do otherwise. You took a deep breath and recollected your thoughts, At the end of the day, we always say to follow your heart.

You opened the door, expecting a breeze of cold winter air to rush in. But to your surprise, you were greeted with a warm, tight, hug. Instinctively, you hugged Chan back.

“I miss you, so much,” he said, lifting his head to come face to face with you.

“I miss you even more,” you said, eyes welling up with tears, still emotional from his sudden appearance.

Chan broke the hug and leaned forward to kiss you. You loved it to bits, feeling his warm lips that you longed for, once again breezing your skin.

[savemefrommyselfxv]

Apartments are not compartments //

Missed writing here to you HAHAHA but also the precious voice exchanges la hahahah I was replaying some starred audio notes which you probably lost hahahah. But anyway yeah hahah. and oh did you know it didn't actlly cross my mind to star/fav the audio notes until I read your "otw to KL" first mirror letter. HAHA BUT YAYYYY. FINALLY GOT TIME for a mirror letter. Hahahah feels long. And to myself I was thinking: to drift or not to drift, from this fellow mirror hahaha but well seemingly didn't so sup. Hahah flow all ways chill and depth and all ways always la eh. And yeah idk ah voices are far richer than texts but ah well. HAHA. letter writes pun letter writes la. Anyway HAHA humai just called me just now and she's super adorabz cuz it was vv random cuz she's otw to work allll the way at yck and she called me cuz she was getting sleepy and she almost fell in the crowded bus hahahah so yeah she shared a bit bout her new workkk and we talked bout ryc/faci and I was telling her bout the ilham I got this morning hahah. Basically after alterisk at Muhammadiyah like the boys aka our campers defo left a soft spot in my heart ah and amidst wtv struggles or their past crimes wtv, I truly think they must be special and Allah immensely loves them cuz by being in the home, they are gifted with solat jemaah daily and also I WAS SO IMPRESSED cuz they use points rewards system so they cab purchase things at their in house minimart which sells like watches and finger spinner and kanken bags and rexona hahahah but yeah like other than good behaviour, how they can earn points include reaching a certain few thousands of zikir on their zikir counter gadget thing AND ALSO BY MEMORISING not just the quran but jugak the 40hadith like wahhhh even I am nowhere close to that so truly masyaAllah. "zulumaati ilanoor" concept again. And every corner and wall and stairwell is laden with islamic reminders and. Just the idea that they are bathed in light. Idk man hahah. Just great amazing :""") But yeah so apparently there was also a sharing seshz by older ex convicts who npw have families and children of their own (I realised the idea of family and having precious loved ones kinda heals hearts and give ppl that motivation to change and strive eh) but yeah so there's this bunch and theyre tryna come up with like their own circle society called one heart brothers and they wanna run mentorship progs etc with such youths at risk ah. But they kept getting rejected by the various ppl they've approached and hm not sure if its bcuz of their past records or the not-up-to-standard presentation/proposals but yeah. Hahah like its great to have them have such sp (hahahaha adorabz humai just called me back hahah then we otp al kahfi like we took turns to read 10 ayats 10ayats hahah) (when truly friendship fillah) (eh ya hahaha btw while during lepak/ convos with the boys (all the home residents were boys ah but kk anyway) One of the male facis were asking the alterisk campers if they cui any of the female facis HAHAHAH. WHICH BECAME AN interesting conversation about how these 15-17yo boys look at girls with/without tudung and the concept of pretty to them HAHA then one of them defended and like "no ah I want the pakai tudung ones" and then another was like "eh bulan puasa mana boleh cui cui. Kene jaga mata" HAHAH so yeah that was funny. AND THEN(!!!!) one of the questions I asked was what is your fav trait in someone then some of them was like penyayang, bail hati sabar and all those typical answers. AND THEN this one 17yo kid he said "innocence" and then I immediately thought of you hahahahah. On another note, I think its quite cool leh, mirror. HAHAHA that I just finished this alterisk stint with ntu ms and youre gonz do your performance stint with nus ms HAHAHA issit subtle mirroring? Chey kidds hahahah I think ppl can turn something small and insignificant into something meaningful/significant if they so decide to lol. But yeah ok hahahah jumping thoughts all over (deal with it hahahah) But ya basically I hope I might get to engage again with this bunch and idk so my ilham this morning is to possibly "re-use" the content from ryc to bring forward those games to maybe a qiyam event for these boys. Like an alterisk: beyond ramadhan or a raya camp hahah. I think that'd be cool. So instead of just a once a year annual alterisk it could be a biiiit more frequent. But yeah HAHA ALL THE BEST FOR YOUR STAGE SPOKEN WORD OF REMINDERS LATER hahahah fun is fool but beneficial fun is cool or wtv the quote you wrote hahah and yeah your twitter delete thing caught me offguard a little cuz like i thought youd just leave your a/c as is but nah but yeah. Blessed friiiiday. :) I have another qiyam later today till tmr afternoon then another iftar prog tmr and then gonz meet the team for aceh on sunday night and aceh for a weeeeeeek insyaAllah. QadrAllah khair. Hahahah had a long convo with a majulah mentor also ytd bout how MIA I seem like I'm jumping too much and too many commitments and she sounded the alarm if I wasn't as present at majulah aceh prep but yeah :") still v much learning the art of balance. But yes hahah to finally realise the value of iftar at home was something andddd also yeah jemaah maghrib with ibu ytd was more than heartfelt again. :") Yay ok addu'a biddu'a mirroredzzzzzzzzz. Here's to odd strange letter writes friendship :")