#i’m so over it rn nothings gone right since this stupid ass year has started

[doyeons]

sooooo i didn’t end up getting into the term-long bio program i applied for bc i’m only a second year and u need to be a third year even though my advisor said i’d be fine bc my academic standing is unique or smth and yet. i got rejected. i can do it next year ig but i was told it would be better this year but like. i can’t 👍

[mercur1e]

Saw your Father’s Day post and I knew I had to ask for it:

Dilf!Jean x Teacher!Black reader fic

I’ll let you pick whether it’s sfw or nsfw, I just need some Jean content rn😌

YES OML

Contains: Modern AU, female anatomy but no pronouns

Jean has had his eye on you for a while now. You're his kid's teacher, he know he shouldn't be feeling this way. But he can't help it. You're so kind and beautiful. You're great with the kids, and always patient with them. And god, your smile. That pretty, pretty smile. When he dropped Julia off at the first day of school, you had smiled and introduced yourself. Nothing unusual, it's just common courtesy. So why was he acting like a teenager in love all over again? He brushed it off thinking it was just because he hasn't dated in a while. Ever since his divorce he hasn't really been interested in dating.

Everytime Jean would pick up his child he made small talk with you. About his daughter, about your jobs, anything that would get you to talk to him. Jean would subtly compliment you, telling you that you look pretty or that a color looks good on you. Hell, he pointed out when you changed your hair up for a day, even if it wasnt anything major. Every once in a while he would lightly flirt with you, questioning how you're single and asking if you have a s/o. You'd always reply that you haven't been interested in anyone around here.

And it wasn't one sided, no. You'd glance at him when (you thought) he wasn't looking, looking as handsome as ever. His slicked back hair and style would make anyone swoon. A million dollar smile, great personality, and he was a good father? You wanted to be with him, you really did. But as a teacher you know you shouldn't. But the school year is almost out, you wish he would make a move.

Today was just like any other day, Jean came to pick up his kid and he was making small talk with you. Talking to you about your plans for the summer, and where you would like to go. Meanwhile Jean was was worrying about how to ask you out. "Do I just say it? Do I slip it in? Shit. Fuck it I'll just say it."

As you were talking about your summer plans, Jean interrupted you. "I..I was wondering if I can take you out on a date? If not I'm sorry that-"

"I've been waiting for you to say that." A smile forms on your lips. "I thought I'd become a corspe before you asked me out!" You poke in a joking manner.

Jean chuckled at you. "Well how about as an apology for making you wait so long, I take you out to dinner tonight?" He says while smiling at you. God, he's got a nice smile.

"I would love that. Is 7 o'clock good for you?" You ask Jean while writing your number on a slip of paper and handing it to him.

"Works for me. It won't be hard finding a babysitter for Julia for the night. I'll see you then sweetheart."

The rest of the school day went by fast. Happy to be home, you search through you closet to find something to wear. After digging in your closet you found your perfect outfit. Putting it on and standing infront the mirror you looked damn good in it. Going into the bathroom to finish up your hair and getting the look you wanted, you were almost done. Now you just had to find the right fragrance and any other additions. And with that, you were ready for your date. Hearing a knock on your door, you go to answer it.

You're met with Jean, looking as handsome as ever. He has on a dress shirt with some slacks, paired with a nice watch and shoes. Eyeing you up and down, he shoots you a smirk.

"You look amazing."

"And you look handsome, which is a shocker for you." You play, he knows he looks even on his worst days.

Jean guffawed at your comment. "Uh huh, like I don't notice you checking me out almost everyday at school."

Locking your door behind you, you two begin walking towards his car. "Guess I'm not as sneaky as I thought."

"Nope, you're shit and trying to be sneaky."

"Oh shut up!" You giggled as you slapped his arm lightly. He opens the car door for you and you get in.

"So, where are we going?" You ask once he gets in the car.

"It's a surprise, but I think you'll like it when we get there."

As he was driving, you two talked and joked together. It wasn't a very long ride, maybe about 15-20 minutes until you arrived to the destination. It was a popular steakhouse that had recently opened up, and it wasn't cheap either.

"I've always wanted to go here, I've heard good things about this place." Looking around the parking lot, you could tell it wasn't a super busy night but they had business, that's good.

"Me too. I've heard good things about the place and its owned by a local chef." Holding out his hand to you, you take it as you're getting out of the car. To his pleasant surprise, you hold on to his hand until you two are seated at the table he reserved. The rest of the date went wonderfully, you both thoroughly enjoyed dinner and had fun getting to know each other more. And of course taking playful jabs at each other and eating dessert.

Pulling up in front of your house, Jean helps you out the car and walks you to your front door.

"I really enjoyed tonight, I loved every bit of it. Thank you for treating me to dinner."

"Of course." Jean replies, secretly hoping you'd you'd kiss him.

You two sat in silence for a few minutes until you looked him in the eye. His eyes were shining, hoping that you'd make a move. Finally, you broke the silence.

"Can I kiss you-" You didn't even finish your sentence before his lips landed on yours. He pulled back though, the kiss ending as quick as it started. You kissed him again. And again, until it turned into a full blown makeout session. "Do you want to go inside?" You asked once you finally caught your breath. Jean nodded at you, eyes now clouded with need. Opening your door, you barely have time to register what happened. Jean's got you pressed against your door, lips back on yours. Running your hands through his hair you let his tongue roam your mouth. He sucks on your tongue while trying to take your clothes off. "Mm, not here, my bedroom." While hurrying towards your bedroom, articles of clothing litter your hallway as you both rush to take off your clothes. After you get into the bedroom Jean motions for you to lay on the bed.

Laying between your legs, he leaves kisses on your navel and thighs, avoiding where you need him the most. Taking a long finger and swiping up your slit, he feels just how wet you are for him.

"Fuck, I've been waiting to do this for so long."

You hum in agreement. "Me too, I've wanted you for so long"

Licking a stripe up your pussy, you shiver under him. He kitten licks your clit before sticking a long finger into you. Your vagina clenches around the digit, adjusting to it after a minute.

"Another" you mewl, wanting more of him. He listens, putting his index finger in. He moves his fingers in a scissoring motion, loving the way you feel around him. His fingers are coated with your juices, creating a wet sound every time he thrusted them into you. Sucking on your clit, you moan and twitch under him. He speeds his fingers up, and starts sucking at your clit more harshly.

"Ah! Ah! M' gonna cum!"

"That's right, come for me baby. Cum all over my fingers."

Your body shivers from your orgasm as your hole convulses around Jean's fingers, creaming around him. He takes his fingers out of you, and you whine at the loss. He takes his fingers up to his mouth and sucks on them.

"You tatse so good baby. So good for me. Can't wait to have you screaming for me."

He looks so hot like this. Hair disheveled and out of place, lust filled eyes just waiting to devour you. He takes his dick and strokes it a few times before pushing your legs against your chest. He lines himself up at your entrance, and slowly pushes in. It stings at first, he's so big. You already feel full, before you look down and see that you've only taken half of him. Jean slowly eases the rest of himself into you, before he's finally buried to the hilt. You swear you can feel him in your throat.

"Y-you can move baby, I can take it."

Jean smirks at you. "You sure?"

"Mhm..keep going."

Once Jean knew you were okay he started roughly thrusting into you. Leaning down to suck at your nipples, your hand grabbed at his hair. Tugging lightly at it, you wrangled a low groan out of the man above you. He can tell you're close because your moans are getting louder and he can feel you tightening around his dick.

"You gonna cum for me baby? Want me to fill you up?"

"Mm Mhm!"

"Say it."

"Cum in my Jean, please!"

He smirked. "Anything you want baby."

Slamming his hips into you, Jean's abusing your poor g-spot at this point. He flips you over so you're face down ass up and you can tell he's close too by the way his dick is twitching inside of you.

"Fuck! Fuck! I'm cummimg, I'm cumming-"

"That's it baby, come all over me."

Jean doesn't let up even after you've come. Your overstimulated pussy fills the room with sloppy noises. Jean gives a few more rough thrusts before coming inside of you. You both simultaneously groan out, you feel even fuller than before. He pulls out of you, feeling a sense of pride as he watches some of his cum drip out of your pussy.

Rolling over onto your back, you gaze up at Jean. A fucked out grin makes its way onto your face. Jean smiles back down at you before he lays down onto your chest.

"Is it selfish if I say I don't want this to end?" He mumbles in between the valley of your breats.

"Mm no. Because I don't want it to end either. I really like you Jean, I mean it." Your hand runs through his hair, its original style long gone.

"I really like you too, you think we could make something outta this? Maybe even a relationship?"

You giggle. "Is this your way of asking me to be your s/o?"

"Yeah...pretty shitty way huh?" Jean let's out a small laugh.

"Hmm yes, but I accept. I'll be your s/o."

"Guess it's not stupid if it works hm?" Jean leans up to plant a kiss against your lips.

"Oh shut up you!"

IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE THIS DONE YESTERDAY BUT I FEEL ASLEEP! Anyways I hoped you liked it! Thank you for requesting and feedback is appreciated!! Have a good day! <33

This is my original work. Do not steal, repost, or copy my works. All works on this belong to @c00chi

[bon-nii]

There's literally no stakes in the anime at all. Its so bland and emotionless. I don't feel anything for these characters. Everything is being handed to them. Give me back my son, Adam. He is far more intelligent than any of these anime characters. They all drank stupid juice.

Yeah, I definitely agree. I'm just watching to see where this ends up at this point (and also to shitpost lmfao)

Every Thursday me and two of my friends (one has read most of the manga, the other is anime-only) watch it on discord, or talk about it on discord and man... my friend who is anime-only is like "yeah, this sucks ass, I need to just read the manga" and is confused with stuff. We just kinda clown on it at this point. It's basically just someone's shitty canon-divergence AU playing out on screen.

Random assortment of thoughts:

I can sympathize with Manga Norman. I can understand WHY he is doing what he is doing and what his motivations are. It is, quite frankly, completely disgusting what he wants to do, but I can get why he wants to do it and I don't hate him. He is a very complex character, trying to make sense/live in a very complex world. Anime Norman on the other hand? I feel nothing for him like, I just Do Not Care. Norman is, imo, the best written out of the three mains and my personal favorite, but they've completely squandered his writing... ugh

I've held strong by this belief: If you are going to adapt TPN, there are 3 major characters who you *cannot afford* to mess up. Isabella, Yuugo, and Norman. (I'd even throw Peter and Leuvis in there as well) Well, Yuugo's gone and if they *do* decide to have him show up his character is completely different (i.e. the out of character note he leaves at the bunker). Norman has next to none of the depth he had in the OG story (I can't remember, but didn't Cislo or Barbara say that he saved the kids at the mass production plants? Uhhh, what?!?!). And Isabella is being built up as the big villain YET AGAIN which does not align with her development at all (though I do think they will still pull a bait-n-switch on us like in the manga) so there goes that.

Peter and Leuvis oh where do I start? Leuvis is my personal favorite villain of the story for multiple reasons (I think I will write an entire post on him sometime) and Peter is the epitome of everything Emma stands against and is essentially the Big Bad. Leuvis is gone, Peter is in the op but has had ZERO screentime thus far, not even any fucking hints to his existence at all. There's 5 eps left so he has to show up at some point, right? He's in the opening soooo... where the hell is he? How are viewers supposed to give a shit about him? He's pretty fucking dangerous and has been influencing the plot since day ONE, but whatever I guess??

Anime Ray is the only one I vibe with rn, and even then he's meh. Anime Emma is on thin fucking ice, and Anime Norman can be fed to the Dropkick Murpheys for all I care.

Infodumps. My god. These bitches be talking like they're reading a wikipedia article.

The literal butchering of Emma's character. Goldy Pond would have been the ep 19 of Demon Slayer of this anime season if they had adapted it, and I stand by that. The amount of HYPE on social media that would have happened after Emma pulls herself from the brink of death to challenge Leuvis would have been insane. There are so few strong, well-written female shonen protagonists... damn shame that the brilliance of Emma is relegated solely to s1 and the pages of the manga, she is a husk of herself in this season.

No character growth. Trio is separate for 90 chapters. That's literally half of the entire manga. There's no feeling of separation, no feeling that they are wildly different people now. These three have spent their entire lives together. Ray and Emma have to struggle without Norman, and Norman has to struggle without Ray and Emma. It's so important. This dynamic *literally* dictates how they grow as characters. When they are finally reunited it is so emotional and amazing, but also a bit unsettling because Norman is *clearly* not the Norman we remember... but in the anime we don't feel any of the impact of those 2 years.

Yuugo and Lucas. Contrasting the love Isabella gave to the kids with the love these two dads give to them. Adds a lot to the story. RIP.

Also RIP Adam and the Gold Pond kids... jeeeeeze there was so much potential.

Anime sacrifices extremely hard-hitting and emotional moments for cheap shock factor (namely, bunker raid and the trio reunion)

Speaking of the trio reunion, why the FUCK does Anime Norman not give a shit about Anime Ray? Hes completely ignored, and it's not like in the manga where he came in later no, like... he's there, seeing Norman at the same time Emma is. There's like, a solid minute and a half of Norman and Emma crying over each other while Ray just stands in the back like 🧍‍♂️and then is added as an afterthought. Emma's like "oh yeah, I brought Ray" GIRL??? And Norman is like "oh hey Ray.." BITCH?!?! YOU KNEW HE WAS GONNA FUCKING KILL HIMSELF AND HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING WHETHER OR NOT EMMA WAS ABLE TO STOP HIS SUICIDE, FOR 2 YEARS??? AND YOU JUST IGNORE HIM?? AND THEN ACKOWLEDGE HIM AS AN AFTERTHOUGHT?? I--okay!

Manga Norman: Emma and Ray are my best friends and I love them more than anything in the world, but Ray understands me in a way that Emma doesn't. They are both important to me.

Anime Norman: who the fuck is ray

Zero suspense. Minimal world building. Very minimal lore building. No mystery.

What the fuck is up with the William Minerva part of the plot like... uh, that's pretty important??? He's been completely dropped and there's zero reason for us to connect him with Norman. Like, he had his phone call in ep 3 and then any mention of him dipped. Disappointing as hell. Don't get to see the parallels drawn between him and Norman. Man...

Yeah idk what else... am I being too critical? Honestly, not sure. I think my criticisms and frustrations are well-founded, but I am definitely basing most of this off of the anime's failure to adapt the manga. Though I suppose, looking from an anime-only standpoint who has no idea just how much of the story has been axed, it might be okay or it might not be? Or it might depend on the person... in any case, I cant fathom how anyone could look at this season and go "Yeah, this feels like the same show as season 1!"

[woashi]

PLEASE tell us about the au

AAAAAAA okayokayokay I’ll try my best to explain it! I’m not the best explanation man!! Things might b all over the place and make no sense!!!

I am not the best writer and this AU spawned from my urge to draw reigen with a staff and horns-

Before I explain the main stuff

Horns in this universe contain ✨Magic✨ in them. Natural magic users magic kicks in (?) at around the age of 13-14. Growing horn process is basically like uhh less painful head teething I guess

If horns are broken (like torn off or smashed) there’s a small period of time where the magic lingers in the air, people can absorb this magic air thing, but that leaves the person you’ve destroyed the horns of weak.

I SHOULD MENTION!! Magic users also have magic in their blood, it’s weak since most of the magic is in the horns but it’s like a last hurrah before you then start using up like, life points iguess.

Magic can also be transferred into plants, even dead trees, nothing will happen it’s like a lil magic bank, it’ll just store it until you need it or if someone else finds it but it’s almost weaker depending who gets it first. People who never got the magic using abilities will stick tree branches in their head for makeshift horns and beg for people to spare some of the funny magics to their branches

RIGHT NOW I’ve explained the weird ads magic system stuff (it’s a Doubleyou Eye Pee WIP) now it’s time for the funny mob characters !!

Reigen is a very talented magic user, he works for the king as an assistant to Mogami. Blah blah blah he works there for ages almost taking Mogami in skill wise, Mogami suddenly turns unusually sour, Hey reigen! Snap! Half Horn gone! The other broke! Goodbye!! Now somewhere at the end of the forest. Reigen, now somewhere is going to find his way back to the kingdom and beat the shit outta him, he doesn’t even want his spot back. He’s going back to kick ass.

MOB TIME. He’s the most unfinished one out of the main two, so I’m very sorry if nothing makes sense!

So Mob and Ritsu are the same age: 8 years old, Mob lives in a nice cosy village filled with funny magic people! *vine thud* until he didn’t!!!!! Bam bam woah who’s that? Why it’s claw!! Claw grunts are all like yeah let’s destroy this town and steal magic!!1!! This event causes Mob to be separated from everyone, he’s somewhere in the wreckage of his old village, then woah!! Funny guys here tryna kill him!! Like anyone he starts to panic.

First thought: start screaming(?????) The claw grunts here are stupid and want their ego fed so they taunt him cuz why not! Child is being very annoying and loud, something comes out from the bushes!!! Woah Mister Reigen Arataka?? He’s there and he mocks the living fuck outta the claw grunts then for a second they all get distracted by mob .. iduno saying something? Then boom bam Reigen knocks them out.

Kind happy act over, Reigen only wanted to boost his ego for helping a defenceless kid. Mobs like “yo I’ve lost my family. Could you help me!” And Reigen’s like “No. I’m busy, I don’t have time to babysit.” Mob gets sad about that then wooosh!! The hood from his cloak I forgot to mention previously goes down to reveal…. Tada!!! Growing Horns! Ones half in his head, the other is visible. Holy shit magic 8 year old???? That’s like… unusual.

First thing Reigen thought was “damn this kid probably has more magic than I do right now………… wait.” Then he connects two and two together and decides to help Mob find his family.

But only if he helps him first.

AAAAAND that’s all I have right now! Sorry if it’s long and made no sense!!! I know I’m using time as an excuse for my lack of writing skills but it just hit 2am here!!!1!,££:’suhsbw

AGAIN really sorry if this didn’t make sense!! My brain literally made the AU whilst I was drawing and im kinda building off of it rn!! Alsoaloslaodjsm Thank you for asking about my AU!!!! Im sorry I don’t have too much to deliver for it but I am working on it!! Though I probably might not take it anywhere besides where it already is ^^;;

I rambled a lot on this I know I keep apologising but sorry again for that aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaswvhsyshwnsosh 🙏🙏🙏 also I was like rly excited when writing this so the way I’ve worded things are uhhhhhh not the best- if you need like more things explained better pls ask!!

[wetwellie]

Your Name AU

(because i’ve seen this movie a bajillion times and it makes me feel things and i am FEELING THINGS about zimbits rn) (It probably won’t work, but i’m gonna make it work)

 Bitty is a guy who is trying to peacefully spend his last summer before heading off to college in peace. 

He spends his days working his part time job at his Aunt’s produce stand. 

and Baking

and playing club hockey twice a week

Fairly peaceful

and...boring as hell

Until the dreams start

Jack has just started his third year at Samwell university

he’s still broken

still anxious

still the “golden boy” --even if he doesn’t feel like hes polished and shining

but he’s making do

and making friends

just a year or two left until

until what?

graduation? getting signed? 

wasting away? 

Jack doesn’t know. But he’s resigned to focus on hockey and let the rest of the world pass him by

Until the dreams start

Jack wakes up and it’s too hot

He shifts to get out of bed and finds that the covers he is tearing away from his body

are not his

or Shitty’s

or any of his roommates’

also. uh

those skinny legs and short shorts are not his

his hands look different too

and his face feels different

and the voice that calls to him from downstairs is not one he knows

huh

well

weird dream

hope it’s over soon

Bitty goes downstairs to eat the next day

His parents are both fairly silent

“I see you got over whatever mood you were in yesterday, young man”

“mood?”

“it doesn’t matter.”

That’s all he gets out of them

When he drives to the produce stand his cousins run up to him smiling

“I see that you actually remembered how to drive that thing”

“What?” says Bitty

“yesterday you were all over the place. almost knocked over the stand. if you were anyone else I’d think you were drunk”

“Aunt Judy figures you might have been possessed” the other cousin says

“With a fit of stupidity”

“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about” Bitty says

“It doesn’t matter. Just don’t ‘get lost’ or forget ‘how to drive stick’ again, Dicky” she says using finger quotes

Later in the day, Suzanne asks Bitty if he’s really feeling ok. 

She was really worried about yesterday’s behavior

Bitty replies that , despite evidence on the contrary, he feels normal

They finish up some jars of jam and Bitty returns to his room for the night

There is where he finds it

Tucked under his pillow there is a note in scratchy handwriting

“Who are you?”

Bitty wakes up cold, in a bed that is too big for him

an alarm he doesn’t remember setting, or ever having, is blaring next to him

he looks to see the time

4:30 am

oh. 

hell no

bitty gets up to unplug the dream alarm clock, and returns to sleep

Bitty wakes up 6 hours later with another man coming into bed with him

This man is naked

and moustached

one of those dreams? huh

never would he dream about this kind of guy though

because this guy doesn’t crawl into bed, like he thought

he wraps bitty in a burrito made out of comforters and yanks him onto the floor

“I know you needed to a break, but let the coaches know before you sleep through morning practice like that”

“practice?”

“yeah. and you’re lucky that I’m waking you up in time to go to your 11am.” 

“but it’s summer”

naked moustache man just looks at him and rolls his eyes

“we’ll grab lunch after class”

“Wait!”

“What”

“...where is my class?”

Jack wakes up the next day 

and is dragged to the doctor to test for a possible concussion

“the things you were saying and doing yesterday were crazy”

“you skipped morning practice”

“After class you threw down your notes and said you’d never major in History”

“You baked seven as an apology for skipping morning practice”

“And then you dropped into fetal position in afternoon practice when Ollie was about to check you”

“And you took, i don’t know, 7000 selfies of yourself and called yourself handsome”

“have you ever taken a selfie before in your life?”

jack just shakes his head

“yeah. like i said you’re getting checked for a concussion”

Did I hit my head? , Jack asks

“no. but it can’t be” Shitty pauses “It wouldn’t be your other thing would it?”

I don’t think so he says. 

Jack has never really had memory problems. and his anxiety and panic never particularly affected him in the way described

faintly, he recalls a young boy at one of his games right before the draft, voice broken as he says “Jack, don’t you remember me?”

it leaves his mind as quickly as it entered

because he had bigger problems to figure out

namely how he had new entries on the journal on his phone

it was a summary of all of the things that “Jack” did the previous day

“Thanks for a long day of being a Big Shot on campus, handsome!”

signed Eric

Eric?? 

Who the hell is Eric? 

it happens again 

Jack spends a day as bitty

and Bitty spends a day as Jack

and they wake up not remembering too much about what happens

the only thing that cements that it’s not just a weird dream is that

well...real life consequences

Jack becomes a lot more...spinny and less up for contact when he plays hockey

and ends up enjoying time with his teammates a lot more

and has a huge country dialect now

and one time someone came up to him speaking french and jack had no idea what was going on???

and he smiles sometimes??? 

and at the end of the day he’s almost always on his phone typing away

Bitty is able to kick ass into gear with hockey

but can’t bake worth shit

honestly, suzanne hasn’t seen anything of that quality since bitty was seven

AND he had to check a recipe

also, he’s started to bike to work

driving stick is impossible

he’s very serious on some days

he spends his evenings watching history documentaries and writing in a journal

Well. It seems like this is just gonna be life for a while, they both figure

best set up some rules

Bitty, as Jack, is NOT ALLOWED TO DITCH CLASSES

no use of the word y’all

no beyonce

no short shorts

don’t drop like a brick when someone comes to check you

seriously Eric it’s fine 

Eric it’s my body that would get hurt don’t worry

also please don’t drink or use drugs in my body

it’s a long story but again

it’s my body

Jack-as-Bitty is asked to be polite to his friends and customers

and please never bake anything ever

don’t leave the house dressed like some weird clothing outlet exploded

if you yell at my teammates i swear to god, mr. zimmermann. 

don’t disrespect senor bun

or anyone

stop frowning so much, even Coach has asked me about it and i don’t know what to say

don’t watch stuff on my netflix account. your history documentaries are messing up my recommendations

Despite the rules

They find ways to keep bothering each other

But also trying to make each other better

As captains of each others teams, both teams are able to benefit from their guidance

Bitty’s team gets a lot stronger technically

but kind of hate how much of a hardass Bitty is 3 times a week

The SMH is more in synch with each other than ever

and Bitty is able to help out a lot more

But Jack ends up having to put a lot of money in the sin bin for 

‘acting off’

Jack is very upset to find a picture of himself in the swallow, sitting on the roof of the Haus shirtless and wearing short shorts chilling

like

what the fuck Eric 

But they get a little routine down, and nothing changes except for minor nuisances

so whatever 

It all works good until one day, while Jack and Suzanne are bonding over making jam, Suzanne looks Jack right in the eyes and says 

“oh...you’re not my dicky. you’re dreaming aren’t you?”

Jack snaps awake in his bed

not Eric’s bed. His bed

Huh. weird. 

He goes to check his phone and of course, there is a long journal entry left over from the day he didn’t get

It’s all mostly ok until he gets to the end

“It looks like your first big hockey game is tomorrow night! Be sure to have fun. Enjoy it!”

“There’s a comet tonight for me. I’ll take lots of pictures so that you can see it next time we ...do whatever we do”

 Jack and the SMH win the game. and he actually tries to have fun. but the only person he wants to celebrate with is

well

he’s in georgia

bUT

Jack has a phone

He dials bitty’s cellphone number that has been saved in his contact

his heart is beating quite fast. 

and then he hears 

“We’re sorry. The number you have dialed is no longer in service”

 Jack stops switching after that

He should be relieved. overjoyed

but he’s not

he doesn’t miss the humidity

or the dirt roads

or the bugs

but he does miss something

and he’s forgetting all about it

so he tries searching online for the town

the town he can’t remember the name of

he doesn’t want to forget, so he starts drawing sketches of what he remembers

they’re not bad

pretty darn good, even

Not as good as Lardo’s, but she’s still abroad

He tries to call Eric’s number a couple more times. He gets the same results

 Jack can’t take it anymore

During the winter break, Jack flies down to Georgia for a weekend, rents a car, and drives himself in the general area he remembers the town

he stops locals and shows them sketches

“is there any town nearby that looks like this?”

they all respond in the negative

he does this for hours

the sun is starting to set when he resigns to give up

he pulls into a diner in the town he’s in, orders, and looks at his sketches again

maybe it’s possible that the town isn’t...even real?

it really could have just been his dreams

that is what he thinks when the server returns with some water

“Hey. that’s a pretty good picture of Godfrey”

 “Godfrey?”

“Yeah. I grew up there.” he says looking a bit sad

“Can you tell me how to get there?” 

The server pauses and gives Jack a mourned, but puzzled look “ it was about a 15 minute drive from here but-” 

“it was?”

“you didn’t hear about what happened?”

Jack shakes his head. 

“If you don’t mind,I’ll take you to it after you finish your dinner”

It’s all gone. 

Oh God. 

Everything from the small ice cream shop to the old creek where Bitty’s cousins would hang around

It’s all rubble

and mounds of dirt

Literal miles

Jack can’t breathe

he can’t

breathe

just breathe

just

breat--

[ghostlywritten]

Uncertainty III.

A/N: I wanna thank everyone, who’s reblogged ‘Through a Rapist’s Eyes’. It was something I reblogged myself because I feel like it’s really important to know about this and I’m glad you’re spreading it around. 

Thanks for all the reviews, likes and messages. I read them all even if I don’t have time to respond to some of them. 

GIF made by moi. Feel free to use all of them.

Words: 4,5k+

I II

Warning: Language. Mentions of abuse, nothing graphic, just mentions. 

Warning: Language. Mentions of abuse, nothing graphic, just mentions.

You shakily wiped your tears away, your image blurry as you walked up the stairs to get undressed. 

You couldn’t go to that party after this and definitely not without Scott by your side; it felt too unsafe. You would have to apologise to Clay later. 

Opening the door to the bathroom you were immediately greeted by the sight of your face in the mirror, black streaks of mascara across your cheeks and eyes red and puffy as if they were infected. You sighed, shoulders slouched and trudged to rinse your face and wipe the make up off. A few sobs escaped your lips as you recalled the fight between you and your now ex-boyfriend. 

Bracing your hands against the sink you closed your eyes as a fresh set of tears ran down your face. A year and three months spent with whom you genuinely thought to be the love of your life went down the drain. 

You wondered what to do from now on. You barely remembered the time in school without Scott.You had only attended Liberty High for a good half a year before you started dating with the help of Jeff’s matchmaking skills.  Your phone buzzed in your pocket, causing you to flinch slightly. You felt weirdly weak all of a sudden without the warmth of your boyfriend. ‘So pathetic,’ you thought to yourself, your feminist side hating on you right now. 

Sighing quavery you took out your phone to read Clay’s name on your screen. Turns out, it wasn’t a message but he had been trying to call you twice. Wiping your nose you tapped the ‘call back’ button, waiting for him to pick up. 

“Y/N!” he almost screamed into your ear, making you wince.

“Hey Clay, I’m sorry I can’t go to the Clubhouse tonight, I-,” you started, your voice breaking in between.

“Nevermind, I know where it is.”

“W-what? How?”

“I will tell you later. Is Justin with you?” 

“No. Why, I thought he was with you?”

“No, he has been gone since last night.” 

Your blood ran cold.

“Do you have any idea where he could be?!”

“I- last time I checked he said he went to visit his mom,” you replied, remembering your text messages, “I thought he went back to yours after.”

“No...I haven’t seen him at all today.” 

“Oh my god,” you breathed, all kinds of scenarios running through your mind. Did Meth Seth catch him and do something to him? Did he decide to run away again? 

“We need to find him,” you said, determinedly.

“Agreed. I will pick you up, we can look for him together.”

“Okay.”

“Where are you?”

“Home. Do you need me to send you the address?”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll be there in five.”  

Ending the call, you quickly put on your denim jacket again and splashed your face with cold water to focus. You could think about Scott and your breakup later, now you needed to find your missing best friend. 

Clay arrived faster than predicted, honking repeatedly until you got out and ran down the stairs of your home. As soon as you closed the car door he raced down the streets. 

“You try and reach him. Maybe he will pick up your calls,” he suggested as he made a turn to look over another street. 

“Doubt it. That fucker didn’t respond to me last time,” you mumbled but took out your phone anyway, nine calls to Justin having been declined already. As soon as the first ring ran through your ear, you reached his voicemail, causing you to curse colourfully. “He’s rejecting my calls,” you growled, feeling angry tears well up in your eyes. You were way too emotional for your liking tonight. 

You (9:29 PM): Justin, you better fucking respond to me rn. I’m not in the mood to search all night for your ass.

You (9:30 PM): I swear, if you dare running away again, I’m gonna drag you back by your stupid, pretty hair, I’m telling you!

Rubbing your eyes, you pretend they were itching to stop the tears from falling, resisting the urge to sniff soundly. Your patience was running thin and you decided to leave him a voicemail this time when he rejected your call once again.

"Literally where the fucking fuck are you?! Send me your fucking coordinates rn you piece of fucking shit, fucking Justin Folfuck I hate you, I hate all the boys, tell me where the fuck you are you godfucking damn fuck or fucking get your shit to my fucking house now!” you yelled into your speaker before pressing the ‘end call’ button, frustrated.

You sighed for the umpteenth time, leaning your head back against the seat as you guys kept driving.

“That was...an impressive amount of ‘fucks’ in one message,” Clay commented, wryly.

“Yeah...it made me feel better,” you replied and he nodded in understanding, before furrowing his eyebrows. “Justin Folfuck, huh? I gotta remember that one.” You guys chuckled a little, staying quiet again as you looked out to see if you could catch a glimpse of Justin.

“Hey...I’m sorry I called you when you were already so stressed,” Clay suddenly broke the silence, glancing at you.

“Why do you think I’m stressed?” you said with a dry laugh.

“W-Well, your eyes are puffy indicating you’ve been crying for a while and their are still leftover streaks from your eyelash paint thingy-”

“That was a sarcastic question, Jensen.”

“Oh. Right, sorry.”

“It’s all good. I’m glad you called...I don’t want him to run away, again.”

“Yeah, I get it. We gonna find him.”

Just then your phone beeped with a single message from the person you were looking for.

Justin (9:54 PM): I’m at the bus station.

“He’s at the bus station!” you exclaimed, “Turn around.”

You impatiently tapped your fingers against your thigh until you arrived at your destination. Looking around at the empty bus station you almost feared he had lied about where he was when you saw his lonely figure sat on a park bench in the dark. 

“There he is,” Clay almost whispered as he halted right in front of him, regarding his messed up hair and dirty clothes. Your throat got dry when you saw his sports bag with all his belongings. So he did try to run away again. 

“Take us to my place. He will stay with me,” you said to the boy next to you as your ‘best friend’ stood and tentatively walked up to you guys. Clay looked at you before nodding, calculating.

Opening the car door, Justin sat down. “Hey guys,” he greeted quietly. You didn’t say anything, simply looked out of the window as you waited for Clay to drive again. 

“Hey,” Clay filled in the silence awkwardly before turning the car back around. That was about all you said during the entire car ride and you could practically feel Justin fidget nervously in the back seat. 

As you arrived at yours, you quickly got out of the car and waited for Justin. He stared at you with his adorable puppy eyes that just irked you more, pleading for something. 

“Y/N, I promise I will talk to you later,” he started, “There is a lot of shit going on that I don’t want you to get involved in-”

“She’s already involved, Justin,” Clay cut him off, hinting that you knew about the polaroids and the Clubhouse.

“What-why does she-?”

“I asked for her help since you were gone missing-”

“What the hell, Clay! I told you to keep her out of this!”

“You are not my keeper,” you said, causing him to look up at you again, “Now get out.”

“What? Why?”

“Because you are staying with me.” Justin looked between you and Clay.

“Don’t your parents want me anymore?” he asked, almost hurt.

“Don’t you want to stay with your ‘best friend’ anymore?” you quipped back over Clay’s stuttering response, crossing your arms at him. He sighed and finally got out of the car. Trudging up the stairs you pulled out your keys and unlocked your door, keeping it open for him as you clicked on all the lights.

“Everything looks still the same,” Justin commented, glancing around. 

“Yep. You hungry?” you asked curtly, walking to the kitchen. 

“Starving,” he chuckled but the fact that he was actually really starving made your heart ache. You took out the pizza Scott had gotten for you today, trying not to be reminded of the fight and break up you had with him earlier.

“Soooo...how have been things going?,” Justin started, trying to get more than a few words out of you. He sat down on one of the kitchen stools as he watched you prepare food for him, his heart warming at your actions. 

“Peachy,” you replied, sarcastically.

“Yeah? Ok...how are things with Reed?”

You tried to breathe evenly as you put the pizzas into the oven, “We broke up.”

“Shit, really?”

“Yep.” 

“Sorry. Girl, I...really thought you guys were endgame.”

“Seriously?” you turned towards him, incredulously, “You always hated us together.”

“Yeah, but in my defense I hated every guy that tried to take my best friend away from me,” he stated simply with a tentative smile.

“Well, at the end you pushed me away yourself,” you retorted and the grin faded as soon as it appeared on his face. You faced the oven again, taking out the pizza as it got warm enough. “Here you go.” You handed him a plate along with the pizza and he dug in immediately. 

“Thanks,” he said, his mouth full already.

“So Clay knows where the Clubhouse is,” you began to inform him of what he had missed, “What’s gonna happen now?”

“We gonna break in and look for the polaroids, I guess,” he answered, almost choking from eating too much at once and you got out to get him a glass of coke. 

“Sounds like a plan,” you mumbled, taking a piece to chew on yourself. This actually felt like the old times when none of you had a girlfriend/boyfriend and you relied on him since you were new and uncomfortable and he relied on you because you kept his secrets and would let him cry on your shoulder. And even when you got together with Scott you still made sure to have some time together for you two and your boyfriend - ex now - was sweet enough to understand and trust you.

Until Justin got together with Jessica Davis you guys were inseparable and then she suddenly became his unofficial new best friend, in your eyes.

“I’m gonna head to sleep. You know where your room is,”  you told him, getting up to go to your bedroom. 

“Alright...thanks, Y/N,” he said quietly and you nodded, giving him a half-hearted smile. “You know if you wanna talk about...Scott and what happened, you know you can come to me, right?” he continued, turning in his stool to see you.

“...I know. Good night, Justin.”

“Good night.”

-

The next day you went to school together in your mom’s car. You gave Justin one of your dad’s old shirts that were still in the closets even though so many years had already passed since he had died. You thought he would decline and wear his varsity jacket instead but turns out he had given it away.

As soon as you got out of your car you heard people whispering about Justin yet again and rolled your eyes. 

“They really have nothing better to do, do they?” you muttered under your breath, causing Justin to smile weakly.

“What the hell have you got to say for yourself?!” a voice suddenly shouted, reaching your ears and you and Justin turned to see Jessica’s dad stride towards him quickly, his daughter trailing after him. He looked like he was about to kill the boy beside you but Jessica managed to stop him, arguing with him quietly. 

You noticed people gathering around, waiting for a spectacle to post online and you really started to get annoyed at this society. 

“You be very careful of yourself, young man,” Mr. Davis warned and thankfully turned back to his car. Justin breathed out heavily as he looked at Jessica longingly. You knew he was still pretty much in love with her and you were sad that you couldn’t reassure him that she would ever take him back after what he did. Maybe that’s why it was so hard for you to forgive him, too: Not because of him neglecting you and leaving you behind but because of what he did to her. You were ready to leave your boyfriend, who was friends with a rapist and suspected to be one himself but you were not ready to leave your best friend who was friends with a rapist as well and even let him do it? 

Lately you were confusing yourself. Why was everything so complicated?

You let Justin go ahead to class, glad that you didn’t have to share it with him for once. Going to your locker you met up with Clay.

“Hey Jensen,” you greeted him as you opened up your locker. 

“Hey, Y/N. How is it going with Justin?” he asked.

“Good. Good. He’s all clean. I looked through his stuff when he was showering,” you informed him. Clay had sent you a message last night, telling you about Justin’s heroine addiction and how he was in recovery right now.

“That’s great. We need everyone fit for what we are about to do,” Clay stated, looking through the three polaroids.

“Do you have any idea who sent you these, yet?” you wondered as you put the books you wouldn’t need for first period in your locker.

“I was thinking your boyfriend did,” Clay answered and you nearly dropped all your stuff.

“What? What makes you think that?” 

“Well...I don’t know for sure. It’s just me having a hunch,” he mused, looking over his shoulder. You followed his eyes and noticed Scott staying alone at his locker, blankly staring inside, unmoving. Your heart raced at the sight of him like it usually did but you didn’t fail to see how unkempt his hair was as well as his clothes being in disarray.

“He looks messed up,” Clay commented and you realised he was asking for an explanation from you.

You shrugged. “I guess. We broke up, so don’t ask me why.”

“...Oh.”

“Yeah...oh,” you repeated, sighing into your locker. “Let’s get to class.”

-

The bell rang, indicating the end of the second class. You had gotten a message to meet up with Justin during free period. 

“Y/N,” a voice suddenly called out and you turned to see someone you hadn’t expected.

“Hey, Mr. Porter?” you asked more than greeted as he led you aside to stand away from the flow of people rushing out.

“I’ve heard Justin Foley is back,” he said, “You’re best friends with him, right?”

“Well, yeah. He’s staying with me,” you replied, readjusting the straps of your bag.

“I see. That’s good,” he said, clearly thinking. “If you see him, could you tell him to come by my office sometime today?”

“Um, of course. Is there something...something wrong?” you asked.

“No, nothing’s wrong. I just wanna check up on him, you know.” You nodded, remembering what he said in court and smiling at him. 

“I will tell him when I see him.”

“Thanks. Take care of yourself.”

Now as much as you thought that Mr. Porter was truly sorry for his mistakes and tried to change, you didn’t think anyone else saw that. There was no way Justin was going to meet up with Mr. Porter on his own.

“Hey, why did you take so long?” Justin asked as soon as you met up.

“Um, I just realised I have to tutor Cyrus this period,” you said, linking your arms through Justin’s. “And I really needed a few brochures that are at the school’s office. Could you get them for me?”

“What? Seriously, what do you need them for?” he wondered, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“Just...they’re really informative. Can you please?” you made big eyes at him and he gave in, making you squeeze his arm with yours in thanks. 

“I wanted to eat lunch now, though,” he whined slightly, causing you to chuckle. 

“We still can after tutoring. It won’t take all period.”

“Alright, see you later,” he said, heading off to the office and you smiled in success, hoping Mr. Porter would catch him there. 

You turned to occupy yourself in the library since you didn’t really have a tutor session today when you locked eyes with Scott. He was stood across the hall with his baseball buddies, about to ruffle his hair when he noticed you. His hand dropped and you noticed him taking an automatic step towards you before he stopped. The moment he realised again that you weren’t together anymore was clearly visible as his face contorted in pain, your heart constricting at the same time. 

Turning away, you decided to take the long route to the library.

-

“So what’s the plan now?” you asked as soon as you sat down in front of Clay and Justin in an abandoned classroom.

“Sheri is handling the way in right now,” Justin informed and you froze.

“Sheri? Sheri Holland?” you asked, “The girl who killed Jeff Atkins?”

“Yeah, I know. I know. She’s trying to help.”

“That doesn’t fucking matter!” you didn’t want anything to do with her and you didn’t care how unfair it was of you. 

“Look, Y/N,” Clay started, leaning forward to you, “I know you and Jeff were close and you hate her for what she did but she’s been trying to own up to it.”

Justin squeezed your shoulder, trying to comfort you. “Come on, Y/N. I’ve done shit too and you still hang out with me.”

“Yeah, I’m wondering why I do that, too,” you said bitingly and his hand fell off, limply. Rubbing your temple you tried to control your temper when Sheri came up to you, looking deeply disturbed. 

“How did it go?” Clay asked immediately when she sat down.

“I got the code. It’s 6902,” she said, puffing out a breath. You knew she was trying to make eye contact with you but you simply continued trying to rub off the headache that has been plaguing you for hours now. You constantly felt on edge and paranoid when you stepped into this school and it had only gotten worse since you broke up with Scott. 

“I saw the box with the pictures,” she went on, wrapping her arms around herself, “They also took one with me and put it in there.”

“Like trophies?” Clay questioned.

“Insurance,” Justin replied next to you, “What happens in the Clubhouse stays in the Clubhouse.”

“We have to go get them,” Clay decided, determinedly, “We’ll go during the game tonight.”

“Alright. Let’s meet up at the school entrance and go from there,” you suggested.

“Wait. You are not going,” Justin said.

“And why the hell not?” 

“It’s too dangerous. You don’t know what happens in there.” You were seriously getting sick of guys telling you what you could and couldn’t do.

“I wouldn’t wanna go back there, either,” Sheri put in her two cents.

“Ok. First off, it’s dangerous for you guys, too. And secondly, they’re all going to be at the game, no one’s going to see us. So what’s the problem?”

Clay and Justin looked at each other, having some weird unspoken conversation with their eyes and you wondered when they had gotten so close. Closer than you and Justin were now. 

“Fine. We’ll meet up at 5.”

-

“Hey Y/N, wait!” Sheri called after you. You had rushed out of your little gathering when you were done planning but it seemed like you weren’t fast enough.

“Yeah?” you sighed out.

“I’m sorry I can’t help you guys out anymore,” she started, fingering her bag strap nervously, “I just really don’t feel comfortable going in there again after today. They forced drugs on me and the picture-”

“It’s all good. I get it,” you interrupted, turning to leave, “We’ll manage. Don’t worry about it.”

“Look,” she stopped you yet again, “I know you hate me for what I did to Jeff.” Your breath got caught in your throat. “And I hate myself, too. Every day, I wish I wouldn’t have left the stop sign lying there and I try, I really try to make up for it even if I can never bring him back.” You closed your eyes, images of Jeff rushing through your mind as tears welled up and threatened to show themselves. He was one of the biggest sweethearts you could possibly meet and you just hated it that he was simply...gone.

“Yeah, no. I get it,” you said, trying to smile at her even if you couldn’t meet her eyes, still. 

“I will regret this for the rest of my life,” she said, her voice breaking in between and you realised she was still hurting over Jeff’s death herself. You guessed the lifetime guilt was punishment enough for her. 

-

“You guys ready?” Clay asked as you met up at the entrance. You nodded and went towards the field.

People were cheering, the game seemed to be going well for the school’s team. You spotted Scott near Bryce, who was placing a hand on his shoulder. Scott smiled at him briefly, nodding before he returned to his position, face blank again. 

You quickly closed the blue door, hoping no one saw you when you rushed towards the second door that you had assumed to be the storage room.

“6902,” Clay whispered to himself as he unlocked it, opening up. 

“Here we go,” Justin cheered quietly. Glancing around it did for the most part look like a storage room except for the couch you had seen on the polaroids and a small table in front of it. You guys started looking around for the box. 

“It shouldn’t be that big,” Clay mused, rummaging through a carton, “and they probably put it somewhere unobtrusive. 

“You don’t say,” Justin remarked, sarcastically. Clay rolled his eyes at him. You looked behind the sofa, under it and the table. You saw pipes and weed lying around, but no box.

“You’d think they’d know better than to just leave this shit lying around,” Justin commented and you nodded in agreement. 

“They’d know better than to take pictures in the first place,” Clay remarked.

“Where the hell could they be?” you wondered when your phone suddenly buzzed, making you jump.

Scott (5:36 PM): Top shelf on the cupboard close to the door. 

What? 

Scott (5:36 PM): I know you are looking for the rest of the polaroids in there. Take them and get out there quickly. 

Your eyes widened and you automatically glanced around as if you could see him watching you. But he was at the game, right? Did he see you come in?

“Hey, what is it?” Justin broke you out of your reverie. 

“Huh? Nothing. Just...look at the cupboard over there. Top shelf,” you said, your mind still racing with thoughts of you ex-boyfriend. Why was he helping? Justin and Clay frowned at you in confusion before he obeyed and looked at the cupboard. A black box appeared in sight and he took it slowly, glancing at you and Clay, wide-eyed. 

“Is that it?” Clay whispered as Justin opened up the box and nodded, gulping. Clay looked at you in confusion. “How did you know that?”

“I-,” you stared at Scott’s messages, “He told me.” you simply showed him your phone. 

“Shit! I knew it was him, who sent me the polaroids,” Clay exclaimed, reading the texts. 

“Wait? Scott is the one?” Justin mumbled, frowning. 

“Apparently,” you sighed. This boy was confusing the hell out of you.

-

Sitting down around Clay’s table in his room, you filtered through the pictures with the others. You eyed the images with disgust, “They seriously take pictures of couples having sex.”

“And taking drugs,” Sheri added.

“And raping,” Justin breathed out, holding up a picture. It was Bryce banging some unconscious chic-

“That’s Chloe,” you gasped. 

“He did that to his own girlfriend,” Sheri whispered, horrified. 

“This is how we take him down,” Clay declared, taking the picture, “She’s unconscious in these pictures. He is fucking raping her! If we show her these, we might get her to report him.”

“You think she will?”

“We have to try.”

“You couldn’t get Jessica to report him, how are you going to convince his girlfriend?” you butted in as you continued looking at the other pictures. You saw Scott a few times in group pictures or in the one they took with Sheri. It didn’t seem like he was having sex or raping anyone in any of the pictures. 

“We’ll have to at least show her these. She might not even know what happened to her,” Clay stated and you nodded, sighing heavily. This was all messed up. 

You could hear commotion downstairs and figured Clay’s parents had come back. Quickly gathering your things you let the guys walk ahead before you stopped Sheri, the polaroid of her, Scott and Jackson in your hand. 

“Sheri.” you held her lightly by the arm and she turned to you, questioningly. “Did anything happen today at the Clubhouse?” Her pretty eyes narrowed in confusion. “Something you couldn’t tell the boys maybe...”

“Oh. Oh God, no!” she said when she realised what you were implying. “Nothing of that sort happened.” You sighed in relief. “No, Bryce just kind of forced me to do drugs and took this picture. Nothing else happened after that.”

“That’s good,” you mumbled, glancing at the picture. Your heart clenched in your chest as you longingly stared at Scott’s face. He was making a funny expression with his tongue stuck out and your lips twitched: That was his signature goofy expression on almost all of your pictures together. 

“Your boyfriend is a good guy,” Sheri remarked quietly with a smile, “Like seriously, there was no picture of him doing shit in this box. Of course, that doesn’t have to mean anything but he seems pretty clean.”

“Yeah,” you muttered, “Except that we are not together anymore.” You gave her back the picture. 

“What? Why?”

“Because he is hanging out with rapists and maybe is one himself?”

“You really think that?” Sheri questioned and you stared at her, surprised. “I mean he is Scott Reed. The guy, who’s been hopelessly in love with you for over year or something. You really think he is a rapist?”

Biting your lip, you shrugged your shoulders. “I don’t think I know who he actually is anymore after the tapes came out.”

“But he is not even part of the tapes, Y/N.”

“Yeah, but he’s friends with someone, who is part of it; Twice if you think about it.”

“And that makes him a bad person?”

“Sheri, he’s hanging out with someone who fucks girls without their consent. And he knows it and it even happens in front of him at the Clubhouse and yet he does nothing.” You couldn’t understand why she couldn’t see your point. 

“What do you expect him to do? You think he would come out alive if he narc’d on them?” Sheri asked, raising her eyebrows at you. “Or that anyone would believe him over Bryce Walker and his rich ass family? The whole school believes his fake story about what happened with Jessica at the party..” 

“I would have believed him,” you muttered and her eyes softened. 

“Look, it’s not my place to say of course, but if I were you I wouldn’t let go of a gem like Scott Reed,” she said, “Even if he’s not doing anything, at least he’s not doing anything. You get me? And besides, he did help you guys find out about the Clubhouse. And the polaroids. Didn’t he?”

“Yeah...he did.” 

Sheri smiled at your agreement, placing a hand on your arm, “There you go. Now kiss and make up. This school needs at least one good story to tell.” 

IV.

Help me Get Coffee Support?

[survivormanhattanbeach]

Episode 1: “...too early to be shady?”-Ryan

There....are so many men and I'm overwhelmed. Also Keaton shading me during his intro is a whole ass mood 

I’m so excited to be playing with majority of this cast... too early to be shady? 

Oooooooofffff what the hell did I just get myself into. Julian’s here. He always finds some fucking way i swear to god... and then there’s Keaton who i pissed off in a prior BB game... which literally ended like 3 days ago for me.... and then i ahve Andreas form Kuang Si and Billy from IdlM.... what the fuck is wrong with my life right now I mean...... i’ll figure this out, let me stop having a heart attack right now

I am SO OVERWHELMED right now! All these messages from people that I think hate me, this is going to be fun! As of right now I'm most nervous about Sarah because I LOVE talking to her, she's so easy to talk to but we always do each other wrong and have never made it far together in anything SO yeah. I'm really hoping that I get on a tribe where I connect with a majority and/or two of them don't like each other so I'm not the first to go! I guess it's time to now... go and be social haha! 

When did talking to people become so hard??? Idk if it's because I've been away kind of for awhile and not talking to people but I feel like I'm the most boring person in the world AHHH. Hopefully things get better soon. I'm about to ignore that annoying red number two by the skype icon and play the game for a bit to maybe give me something to talk about with these people!! 

http://atleastyoumadejury.tumblr.com/post/182902334923 That’s me in this challenge. 

First night = first opinions! Let's go. -called isaac immediately to form a bond with him. He seems super stoked to have me in the season and we agreed to form a f2 deal. Honestly he is funny, adorable and iconic so I am not mad if I go to f2 with him. I will be loyal to him as long as I know he is loyal to me -mark is very social and I know he uses this to his advantage. Every cute thing he is saying, he is definitely saying to the other players -I can easily bond with basically everyone on this season so I feel like this is going somewhere. I can tell ppl are liking me so honestly I am fucking excited to play --went on a one world call with ryan, tom, madison, dani, isaac and myself and they are cool af. I know ryan and tom used to work together from the beginning of mykonos so I am kinda scared they are a definite power duo. Tom has already proven to be a good player in terms of strength and I can tell hes strategic. I REALLY REALLY WANT TO BE HIS #1 SO I WILL WORK ON IT. fuck I need to get on his good side to get far. i can tell. I just dont want him to screw me over - Junior is playing and I guess he is the shadiest person in the game? SO I will be on the lookout for that. -Ruthie needs to leave. -Keaton hates madison so I can use that to my advantage somehow ? well see. -I am going to continue to talk and be social but honestly I dont want to give away too much. Im back after a year so I hope I can go far this time. Fingers crossed

I’ve smelled some fake shit before, but nothing quite as fake as Ryan trying to squash the beef with me. I’m flutter my lashes and play stupid for a while, but in all honesty, I want him gone as early as possible. I don’t trust him, at all. Also, Dan is sneaky as fuck. So I don’t trust him either. Plus I’ve hosted him and I know he’s only in it for himself. He’s vote himself out if it meant he’d win the game. But then there’s Mark, who has played with and been burned by both Ryan and Dan. Between the three of them I’m just not feeling him. I don’t want to be his demise, but I wouldn’t be sad to use him to kill the other two then dump him before he gets farther than me. Kill three birds with Mark’s stone. As for y’all hosts, thanks for dumping me with Madison, Joey and Keaton. Who will keep me around just as a number. They think I’m stupid and I have no idea what I’m doing. Same goes with Brandon. Like I love “OH MY GOD HEWWO”ing my friends. Another main, another season where I’ll just do whatever I can to make it far. Here’s to a good season. 

VL Confessional: This is my greatest chance to FINALLY make an impact on Tumblr Survivor. The minute I was casted, my ranking average went up. What I want to do this season is to take advantage of the time that I have. I want to do well, I want to finally prove how good I CAN be. This is my opportunity to bond with a ton of other players, and I’m READY FOR IT. My mood rn: https://youtu.be/roJ5NSfmxvs

I feel like this game is lowkey a test of Madison and I’s relationship...

VL CONFESSIONAL I’m sitting here on my couch watching the TV They’re picking all the numbers of my favorite lottery I am so excited when fortune calls I’ve never been so happy with someone picking my balls.

Oh god, I shouldn't write any of those weird and unsettling oneliners that I have in mind right now, so.... Hello! Just hello! I'm back for another Tumblr Survivor fun time and I have no idea what to expect from myself for this season. Will I have motivation? HELL YEAH! Will I have the time to back it up? NOPE!!! So... let's start with a little cast assessment, shall we? I already know that I am lucky to have LUCY around, because I know her from another community. That being said, she is a great player, so if she is active this time around, she'll definitely make it further than last time... So far though, it doesn't look like that... :sadface: I am also THRILLED to see RUTHIE playing. I love her, and we only got to play once (in a BB game that ended after 2 weeks) and I happy to see her and I really hope we can work together this season!!! I have mixed feelings about MARK and BRANDAN rn, because I've played in TS with them previously. I pissed off Brandan a lot in Kuang Si when I told him that I wanted him out. I hope he's gotten over that, but I feel like he's not the type of person to forget. But I think he'll be willing to give playing with me another try, but he'll keep me on a short leash. Mark, I voted off in Flops, and then I flipped him to vote for me in the worst FTC of TS history. But the guy is strongheaded and idk how well I can work with that. I've had great conversations with TOM and KEVIN and I feel like they're people I can talk to a lot more, and maybe build a relationship with. I had some decent chats with SARAH, DANIELLE, ISAAC and MADISON. I can't place them yet, but I think I can get along with them. I got off the wrong foot with ISAIAH and RYAN a little, but they seem fun and I can see myself working with them in the future. Or maybe I am just imagining things here? Who knows.... KEATON, JOEY and BILLY, I tried talking to, but I am really not sure yet if we're on the same wavelength. But they seem active enough and open, and it's not even been a day yet. ;) JUNIOR, DAN, JAKE and JULIAN, I haven't spoken with at all so far. rip? --- Let me tell you that I really like it being 4 Tribes of 5 to start the season off (at least that's what it looks like). I don't care too much about being a top-placing player here. I don't think I'd be immediately at the bottom right off the bat, so I don't need that unneccessary potential challenge threat target right away. I think I've spoken to enough people and got a little bit of that Andreas personality across, so I at least have a foot in peoples doors, you know? Let's see how things shake up! I am confident for starters, but that's the point of it, isn't it?

I’ve only talked game with a few people which kinda scares me. I also think a lot of this cast has previous relationships and I only know like 2 people. I love Isaac, Jake, Ryan, and Mark. I need to start socializing more.

hellurrrrr we're back and better than ever! first tumblr org since like... July so I'm feeling pretty rusty. Thankfully I have a couple familiar faces in this cast so I'm not too nervous. I was pretty excited to see Dani cast... we literally went to middle school together LOL. I want to keep that a secret, but Joey already knows because Dani has her location set to my city UGH. So now I gotta hope that Joey doesn't blow that cover. I know Kevin from Zwooper but idk how loyal he actually will be to me. I know Dan, Ruthie, Isaac and Madison from previous games but I don't think we worked well together in them so whoops. RYAN is here which I'm excited for. I want to work with him, he seems sweet. I also know Sarah because she made Eddie cry so I already love ha. But Eddie told me she's crazy in games so maybe I should tread carefull with her for now. I think everyone else is a fresh face to me? So this should be interesting. Half of them haven't even added me yet though so they need to step their pussies up. I'm here to win since that's the only placement I could get that will beat my last placement LOL. But I'm not trying to let an ORG make me go cray cray like Crossroads did... but it probably will <3

Ok, so. This whole picking tribes thing, has just got to go. I have multiple people telling me they are putting me first and although I love being first for once, this might not be the best thing for my game. If a random person I haven’t played with picks me, that looks shady. If one of my MANY previous allies picks me, that looks shady. Oh and there’s that thing where Billy and I squashed beef, and hopefully that can stay because I don’t need a giant target on my back for billy being my only enemy in all of the games I’ve ever played. If this tribe swap is 4 tribes of 5 then I need to make sure my people pick wisely and make sure that they have the 3 they need to keep a majority. The only issue with that, is I’m essentially in the middle of 5 groups: Mykonos, Bermuda, Unova (Pacific Island), Guyana, and then anyone I haven’t played. Take the union of those sets and you have the entire cast Manhattan Beach (yes I did just use math language, no I am not ashamed).

Imma make Jake think im his bitch. “Oh Jake, ill vote out my best friend, and someone who I respect as a host to boost your ego!”

Alright, Day 1 is nearing its end and I've made some progress I feel? So to get right to it: I've spoken a bunch with Danielle and Kevin and they've spoken a lot with each other too, so we're trying to get together on a tribe of 3. The plan right now is to hopefully get one of us in the top 4 (me), I pick Kevin, Kevin picks Danielle, and we've got an easy majority if it's tribes of 5. Now, we don't know if we actually split up in 4 of 5, or 2 of 10, or 4 of 5 but we have Tribal Councils with 2 tribes together. It's impossible to call right now. As a small addition to my first confessional, some final cast assessments: JUNIOR: A very friendly guy. I feel like he's genuine, but he's definitely VERY friendly, and I am not used to that level of friendliness in TS. But I think we good rn DAN: We spoke about Germany and that's about it. We have a little basis. JAKE: We spoke a little about politics, so at least we spoke and have a basis. Not much more than that. JULIAN: Dude... you seem so nice, but you are giving off no confidence in yourself. I don't have much more to say than that right now. I fear that he'll be used as a number by someone rn --- I got some good chats with KEATON and ISAAC going. And that's about it! I hope that I get put on a tribe with KEVIN, DANI, LUCY, RUTHIE, TOM, KEATON... and maybe SARAH. Just bring on the tribes, so I can finally start playing this game. One World is too big for me.

I'm pretty confident with my score for this challenge, I think it's enough to at least show my future tribe that I can do my part in the challenges, and hopefully I get somewhat of a say in who will be on my tribe. For my social game, I'm definitely planning to use me being the first boot on Guyana to my advantage. I've heard from Andreas and checked a bit as well that there's some fierce competition in this cast, and I think I can slide by for quite a while as long as I make some good connections. I know Dani, Andreas and Ryan from outside of this season, and those will be some people I could rely on from the beginning (not sure about Ryan though for that one since we don't know each other that well). Also I don't know what it is about Ruthie, but she seems so sweet and I'd love to get to work with her further down the line.

I love my tribe so much! It is PERFECT! Literally they are all people that I've talked to since the game started and I don't have any issues with any of them. I'm really glad especially that Andreas is on my team and I think that all in all we will have a strong tribe going forward! I don't want to get too cocky but I do feel confident in my position on this tribe! Nowwww if only we can win and stay away from tribal council! 

Honestly, what is wrong with me? Another main season and it's One World? Negative. This is how I will die. I would rather eat glass than have to fucking message 25 people I don't care about. On another note, I love my tribe high key. Aesthetically, we're a really great looking tribe. We could all be models tbh. We all get along really well so if we go to tribal, I'll probably just tell everyone to vote me out, for my mental health and theirs hahahaha save them the trouble. Nah, jk I'll fight, but I don't want to think about like voting any of them out? I def feel closest to Mark, but I really enjoy Dani and Ryan's banter. Junior is so cute too ugh haha. I'm just happy I'm not with the other ugly asses on other tribes

ugh i hate doing these things but im gonna try and be better if i flop this season im deleting skype tbh. This cast is going to give me a solid chance to go deep i feel like. Ryan Billy Dan all want to be my F2, madison is close with me, dani and sarah have both expressed interest in going deep together tribes were picked and holy frick is this tribe incredible. Ryan and Dan and Dani all were in my top 5 of who i wanted to be in a tribe with and junior is actually dope as fuck. i just hope we dont lose and have to vote someone out. especially the first round bc junior is safe so id have to decide between dan dani and ryan and id probably self vote if that was the case

So now I’m like 200% not even gonna try to work with Mark or Dan or Ryan. They’re all on the same tribe. Which means they’re gonna make a final three and that’s something I don’t want to be anywhere near. That’s a dumpster fire that I do not want to be a part of. What sucks even more is, Mark told me I was number one of his list. But Dan was picked by him before I was. So clearly he lied to me. But to add insult to injury, I was picked last for a tribe. So I was literally no one’s number 1. So that sucks, a lot. I guess that’s a fun way to start the season. “Way to go! No one likes you enough to be your #1!” Always a bridesmaid, never the bride. It just makes me have the “anyone but me” mindset even more than I already have. 

Hello new tribe. I am content with the outcome. On one hand, it sucks that I ended in 5th or 6th place, but on the other hand, the draft was rather revealing. I planned to pick KEVIN while he picks DANI, but Dani is soo fucking popular, that she was the absolute first pick - and then she picked Ryan over both Kevin and I. That definitely alerts me, but oh well, I don't blame her or anyone, she's lovely. I am happy that I wasn't the last pick of my tribe, because that would have sucked a lot. Instead, I get to be around BRANDAN, who I actually want to work together with for the time being. RUTHIE picked me, which I am really grateful for, but there is no guaranteed to know how far up I actually was on her list, but at least 6 others were behind me. Now I picked LUCY. Which is a good thing. She rocks at challenges. But she's definitely on the bottom of the totem pole here. I would prefer to vote out JULIAN first if we ever go to TC as this tribe, but for that, Ruthie needs to like Lucy more than the guy who picked her... Either way, let's win challenges somehow and not worry about that. The people I care for should be okay..? Dani will be safe. JUNIOR will be safe by default. Orange tribe will be fun to watch, because I care about everyone but BILLY on there (sorry honey). I am actually scared for my #1 Kevin rn, because JOEY and MADISON are together, which is scary, and neither of them picked him... So he could go first :( Either way, I need to stay on Brandans good side and I need to build up a strong bond with Ruthie, so I can keep Lucy around...

VL CONFESSIONAL HOLY MOTHER OF GOD NVGHHYGCSZAAAWSDDXF I’M SAFEEEEEEEEEE. I’m honestly so happy about it. I gave it my all and I’m honestly shook. And then I realized Madison and I are on the same tribe... Welcome to the plotline of the season.

I have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair

VL CONFESSIONAL So yeah for this challenge Pussydestroyer69@yahoo.com is taken. Fun.

I'm not really sure how I stand with my tribe. Currently my main connection is Andreas, but I know I can't just rely on him. He was picked before I was and he could easily just let me go if I'm in the way of him getting to the first tribe swap. We seem to be doing well in the challenge, and I hope we do win. I personally at least kind of feel like the outsider, and I don't know the connections the others have with one another, so hopefully this gives me time to build a connection with them before we go to tribal.

alright so first off, fuck y’all for giving us this challenge. you’re gonna make me sit here all day reblogging a post because i’m competitive, but we’re probably going to lose because my tribe sucks. like i was the only one doing it for 2 hours. kill me. let’s talk about my tribe real quick. i think kevin is genuinely with me with is good. but when i got put on this tribe, dan messaged me saying that joey, madison, and isaiah are a friend group. i knew that joey and madison were “dating”, but the isaiah thing worries me because if it’s true, then um they have the majority. i’m trying to stay close with joey too since we played zwooper together before. i just really need to bank that him and Kevin would stick with me over the others if we go to tribal. um but i wish i was on a tribe with my same city sister, dani, or with Ryan. let me just say something about Ryan... yo why he gotta do me like this? when i saw ryan in this cast i thought omg that’s the cute ryan but he probably won’t pay me much attention... flash forward to last night when we ditched the main call to call one on one and basically called all night. ummm, are we about to have a survivor showmance? probably not, boys like to ghost me all the time so i don’t expect much but that boy is about to have me WHIPPED i just know it. anyways let’s hope i don’t lose the first challenge because i literally ALWAYS go to tribal first in orgs 

YAY! My tribe pulled out a win. I wish we would have gotten an idol clue but a win is a win and I will take it!! In all honesty it seems like Brandan, Andreas and I did all the work, but maybe Julian and Lucy did things too and just weren't... vocal about it. Lucy has talked to me one on one a bit but I don't know if she knows what she's doing haha. As for Julian, I really like him but he's been SO quiet, not talking in the tribe chat and not being very talkative via PM so we'll see. Right now I feel the closest with Brandan and Andreas and I hope that the three of us can maybe form some kind of alliance. I really hope that Kevin and Jake will be safe! I like Madison and Isasiah (I spent five minutes trying to remember how to spell that name and I still can't get it GRR) but I haven't talked to them as much as the others. I guess we'll see what happens haha! 

so julian can talk in the one world but not our tribe chat... interesting... although i can't talk. i BARELY ever talk in the one world aSLFJLSF

Well we came in first for the first challenge! I tried sooooo hard and I have never reblogged so much in my entire life. The tribe that came in last has two of my allies on it and I’m pretty sure they are in the minority. Madison, joey, and isiah have an alliance apparently. But Jake did tell me that Joey came to him and wanted to get Isaiah out. I really hope he isn’t fucking with him because I need Jake and Kevin to stay in the game!! So far I really love my tribe. I wouldn’t even know who to get rid of if it came down to it. I think Dans the least person I’ve talked to on my tribe. I should probably keep talking to people who aren’t on my tribe aside from jake/Kevin/Tom/Sarah. And I should probably start talking strategy but I like where I am so far social wise. 

My tribe is so fucking united it’s scary. We all just gel really well and literally called for an obscene amount of time this weekend. I really love Dani, we haven’t connected too much in pms yet, but she gives off such good vibes. I feel like she’s definitely a social threat, but maybe by aligning with her she can bring up my social game a little. I desperately need to talk to more than just my tribe mates, but honestly the only other person who attempts to talk to me is Tom, and he’s just kind of forward and weird. Like he asked to share idol clues and I was like....okay sis out of the blue. Idk just seems kinda shady. Pennekamp, or as I like to call them Pasta tribe, losing is honestly my kink. I really hope that someone from the friend group goes home, but honestly it might be Jake or Kevin going. Madison and Joey are for sure an alliance bc of hos22, and then I know Isaiah is friends with Madison bc she was talking about him on call one day in another game, so. Let’s hope one of them flips and one of those 3 gets the damn boot. 

Being on the Robinson Riptides tribe is lit af. Why? Mark and I are on the same tribe, so I have my number one, and then Dani picked me and I know she is a close ally as well. Plus now that we won the first challenge, Junior does not have immunity in the next round and in the event we go to tribal next round, he would be my first target on our tribe. I like Dan, but def not someone I want to take deep in the game, seems like a large threat. Who knows, could easily use him for a number. Also, I love Tom. I am so happy he is back with me in this game after playing in Mykonos. I don't think people understand how close we are, and I want to down play that as much as possible. He is my secret go to persona and I'm going to keep that hush hush for now. We are trying to get our sides to merge into an alliance while the one world business is still going on. Goal: Tom gets Sarah to want to make a chat with either myself, Dani, or Mark. And if this happens, then we have five people with great connections outside but also people I would want to work with for this portion of the game. Also, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS THIS IDOL CLUE BEING USELESS AF? CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN? LIKE ACTUALLY EXPLAIN? HOW IS THIS CLUE SUPPOSE TO HELP ME? CUZ IT DOES NOT!

Yay, Immunity. The Pacific Panthers are so boring as a tribe. The chat is dead. Is it because of timezones? Is it because of age diversity? This tribe has it all! Lucy is still new to TS, Ruthie is busy most of the time when I'm around. Brandan and I don't mean too well rn.... And Julian? He is wearing Harry Potter's Cloak of Invisibility! Either way, I hope Kevin survives F20 TC, as he is a valuable pawn and friend to me already. I'd expect Isaiah to go here, even if Madison might be the smartest move, but it's too early for big moves I feel. See ya next round!

Okay this game is NOT back to basics Johnny, it's back to hell. Schoolyard pick tribes, messy players, ONE WORLD, it's just an absolute cluster truck. I'm doing well for myself though. Getting 4th gave me the opportunity to set myself up well with Sarah and getting lucky with Billy should make me safe on this small tribe for awhile. How I'm not happy to see Madison here though. I'm afraid there's going to be a gun pointed at me by her the entire time, so I'm thinking I'll be forced to go after her before anyone else when given the opportunity. I just have to keep conversation high, keep game level talk at a medium, and eventually get taken out by an idol/twist

https://youtu.be/wpsiisk5lQQ

So big surprise, I'm going to tribal first. Joey is getting on my nerves idk why he even signs up for these games if he's always working but anyways. He's safe so I have to play the role of the devoted housewife to save face. As of now the vote is on Isaiah which sucks because he is definitely an ally for me, but at the end of the day our tribe and the game in general needs strength and commitment. Ugh why must my tribe be so iconic. 

OK SOOOOOOO Basically my paranoid ass has convinced myself I’m going home already, but let me walk you through why SO Isaiah is just super inactive, not to the point where he is NEVER here but just considerably less when comparing him to myself or others and so me jake Madison and joey all talked among ourselves and in various 1 on 1 and came to the conclusion we are voting him out, ALLEGEDLY! but ever since this tribe started the rumor of Madison Joey and Isaiah being friends has been brought up SO many times so that is just engrained in my head, now I’m probably over thinking this part but it makes sense to me, if Isaiah purposefully was being less responsive to provoke the instinct in me and Jake to vote him out, perhaps he has an idol or perhaps he is just fine being the decoy vote among the three and it helps that friend group manage the votes if they know who/how we are voting and it makes me and jake feel “safe” which could lead to the not playing of an idol SHOULD either of us have one and get suspicious. THEN after we have this “set” plan I guess Isaiah told Madison that he was voting for Jake, and Madison told him to continue the lie of being open and honest to the 2 of us so we don’t suspect anything, now if he WERE voting Jake and Jake had an idol I think he’d be impulsive and paranoid (like me) enough to play it and THEN those 3 would in all actuality be voting me, leaving me defenseless and alone, flushing Jakes non-existent idol (it exists theoretically though) and then I go home first boot 3-2. So yeah I don’t feel good but I’ll never feel good I also just scarfed down from chick fil a and now I have to poop. Anyways I will be casting my vote was Isaiah later tonight because that is the only move I can make and pray that my show watching, self loathing attitude has made such a positive impact on Madison and Joey that they want to keep me around ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

apparently isaiah wants to vote me out after being inactive for 2 days... bitch suck my taint. everyone else says they're voting isaiah so umm fingers crossed?? a bitch is nervous af regardless bc i will cry if i flop and get 20th

[ariistocracies]

adelaide kane. cisfemale. she/her. — did you see { scarlett forrester }, i haven’t seen the { twenty-eight }year old in a while! you know, they’re a { meteorologist }, and have been living in jersey city for { eight months }. some say they’re { capricious & censorious }, but i think they’re { poised & eloquent }. regardless, i’m glad { scarlett } is here.

STATISTICS:

full name: scarlett cordelia forrester nicknames: scar or scarlett gender: cisfemale sexuality: pansexual / panromantic occupation: meteorologis birthday: february 14th, 1990 hometown: savannah, georgia spoken languages: english and italian hogwarts house: ravenclaw

BACKSTORY + PERSONALITY:

off the bat scarlett is a southern girl through and through .. born and raised in savannah, georgia for her whole life and the only reason she could handle living in the south was bc savannah was relatively a bustling city more than just ... immense farmland that surrounded on the outskirts when u get further and further outside the city so it made her time there relatively better

scarlett absolutely hated living in georgia .. not a v big fan of the heat and as someone who’s incredibly liberal in her beliefs, being suffocated by her extremely conservative parents and in such a highly red state , she always felt like she was destined for bigger things than what georgia had to offer her

not to mention she lived under the thumb of her parents which ?? sucked majorly bc her mom and dad were some odd mix of modern and old ideologies ?? scar tolerated her dad more than her mom tbh but not by a lot bc he refused to believe climate change was real lmao.. he was an english professor at georgia southern university who specialized in biblical studies and greek works and had heavy beliefs that he tried pushing on to scar like .. tried policing which book she would read and hated that she would consistently read things by oscar wilde and other famous victorian authors bc of the underlying themes of homosexuality and scar was like ,, fucking get over it gdi

like he lit didn't want her reading harry potter bc he felt as though it made a mockery of the bible with its references and wizards n shit so scar is just v.. tired of her parents. like they lived comfortably bc of her dads tenure position and her mom owned her own beauty salon that was p successful so it’s whatever

her mom named her after scarlett o’hara bc gone with the wind was one of her favorite movies and her dad was :// so he got to choose her middle name and he’s lame and chose cordelia bc she’s the perfect daughter in shakespeare’s king lear but lmao how’d that turn out

but her mom always had this weird thing about money where she wanted to flaunt it and have people think they were wealthier than they were ?? wanted so desperately to fit into that whole southern debutante society bc she came from a working class family and they didn't have money for that kind of stuff

so unfortunately for scarlett and her younger sister virginia ,, their mom lived vicariously though them and pushed the two girls into beauty pageants once they were trained to the degree she wanted up until she could force them into debutante season and try to make them into two lovely southern belles

uHHh scarlett absolutely hated it ?? wanted nothing to do with it but she was young and no matter how much she vocalized her dislike for them , her mom shushed her and told her she didn’t have much of a choice so scar was like lmao wait until i turn 18 .. so yeah scarlett went through the likes of etiquette and what it means to be a lady and some of it is still engrained in her which she hates but it’s there and she’s bitter about it

literally scar and her sister were those little girls with huge curls and sequined dresses and bright lipstick . it was a mess tbh but the transition from that to debutante was intense and it gives her war flashbacks tbh

but one thing that came out of it was that scarlett joined the competition of miss gerogia teen usa and won .. which is wild enough but fake it to u make it am i rite laid ease !! but that’s not even the wild part bc from that ,, when she was 17 scarlett moved on to miss teen usa  which was a different type of hell and scarlett fully believes the whole thing is an inner ring of hell thing that everyone will experience sooner or later but anYWHO !! scarlett hates herself bc she ended up winning the 2009 cycle of miss teen usa

it’s weird though bc there’s a disconnect from pageant scarlett to what she actually is like ?? especially in high school when all this was going on and she was considered widely popular by her classmates bc of winning georgia teen usa and then miss teen usa but she rejected it ?? had a secure circle of friends and minded her own business . smarter than people anticipated for her to be and kept up with clubs that fit into her schedule like the schools production club which put on the morning announcements where she was a presenter and just the biology club and just .. ignored boys in general bc lmao they all sucked and just wanted to get their dick wet

lmao her parents were 👀 bc scar excelled in the scientific fields and was interested in pursing anything science related in college .. her dad was butthurt bc he’s like but scarlett !! biblical studies !! and her mom was butthurt bc scarlett !! what about miss america !! and when she graduated scarlett was like lmao sike !! told her parents she was majoring in meteorology / atmospheric sciences and u know dad i read harry potter and i loved it !!!!

so naturally her parents were outraged and while they didn’t blacklist her from the family , they never called her when she was in school and vacations were oddly quiet and scar feels bad bc now their sole focus in on virgina and making her the ideal daughter that scarlett wasn’t so rip virginia

u can bet that scarlett went up to nyc for college at coumbia and her ass loved it !! loved the bustling city of new york and just generally glad that she was able to get out of georgia and just escape the heat lmao ,. also her parents but she fucked with the fall and winter seasons. plus she managed to get an internship at a news station and she fits right in bc her pageant days come in handy for charming people and getting them to like her so sis secured some good letters of recommendation !!

it helps out bc when she graduates she’s offered a position in some small town in rhode island and she accepts it bc u have to start somewhere and from there she settles for a year or two before she’s bounced around numerous times .. each time to a bigger city bc of her hard work ethic and dedication .. plus it helps that she’s conventionally attractive and knows how to work a camera and ppl love her when she’s on air

about eight months ago scarlett is contacted by the news station she interned at while in college and they tell her that their tv meteorologist moved stations to over in chicago so they offered her the position p much and scarlett was like !! i get to be back in new york !! except lmao sike bc it’s expensive so scarlett decided jersey city is the next best thing so rn u probably see her doing the weather on the news and she loves her job

never talks about her beauty pageant past so if u want to embarrass her then pls do sjfdsjk she’ll just brood and sulk if anything .. but overall she’s a p chill person who is actually p chatty and can be incredibly persuasive since she knows her way around words and has a bit of a silver tongue .. but for as much as she likes to talk to ppl she’s very tough to get to open up about herself of get into a friendship w her

v critical and blunt about her thoughts just from putting up with her parents bullshit and especially bc her dad is butthurt over her being a meteorologist bc he’s just stupid and thinks climate and weather are the same .. but generally still comes across as v poised and ladylike just bc it’s so engrained into her from all the pageants and what not so thanks mom

has the complete opposite of resting bitch face jdsljk i guess resting pleasant face ?? she hates it bc it can often bite her in the ass bc people take it as just being super kind and never shutting up and telling them their life stories and while she enjoys talking to ppl she has to be in the right mood .. so issa struggle

has a backbone of steel and it takes a lot for her stubborn ass to change her mind so if she swallows her pride and ever apologizes then know it’s a big thing for her jdfslk will she ever truly escape her miss teen usa ?? who knows !! hopefully not bc having her groan about it brings me joy so someone make her suffer

[acidwaste]

hey so it seems i’ve forgot to do a l o t of tag memes, and i’m lucky i drafted a big bunch of them! lots of questions overlapped so i did my best to answer in different ways, sorry for the lateness! also @ the people that tagged me here, i wouldn't hesitate to kill for you

@natcaptor / @gayspaced

name: leon or lionel!

nicknames: literally the only nickname I’ve been referred to is “big gay” and like. word!

gender: im pretty sure im a guy, i have been kinda 🤔🤔🤔 abt my gender identity since around november-ish though

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1! i’m told that I’m tall but my uncle is 6’7 so...

time: 3:36pm rn! ive been watching video essays and binging music all afternoon

birthday: december 9th!

favourite bands: animal collective, beach house, camp cope, car seat headrest, death grips, fleet foxes, florence + the machine, gang of youths, glass animals, gorillaz, hop along, iceage, idles, kero kero bonito, mgmt, miike snow, modest mouse, run the jewels, superorganism, the avalanches, the cat empire, the go! team, the mountain goats, the wombats, xiu xiu

favourite solo artists: alex lahey, anderson .paak, ariana grande, billie eilish, bjork, cashmere cat, charli xcx, courtney barnett, cupcakke, d.r.a.m, eric taxxon, frank ocean, gfoty, hatchie, janelle monae, jeff rosenstock, joanna newsom, jorja smith, jpegmafia, kacey musgraves, kali uchis, kendrick lamar, khalid, kimbra, lorde, mac demarco, madeon, mick jenkins, mitski, oneohtrix point never, perfume genius, ravyn lenae, rina sawayama, serpentwithfeet, sophie, st. vincent, sza, vince staples

song stuck in my head: caramelo duro | miguel // kali uchis! its a bop, miguel is one of the few singers that can convincingly make sex jams

last movie i watched: deadpool 2! it was even better than the first, which is a feat in itself ngl

when did i create my blog: december 2016??? i only started using it properly in february last year tho

last thing i googled: “im in my mums car broom broom.” dont @ me

do i have any other blogs: yeah, plenty actually!! i have blogs for aesthetic (@moltenstar), general inspo (@wverns), flight rising (@szarising, kinda inactive?), and overwatch (@blackhardts) tbh the vast majority of my ‘sideblogs’ are just saved urls H

do i get asks: when i say stupid shit like “rung has the ass of a dilf but the dick of a cockroach”

why i chose my url: that one panel where kobd have a vacation at the acid wastes because fuck its finally canon babey!

following: 1,767, which is kinda horrifying!!

followers: 890?? somehow??? thats almost One Whole Thousand and i don't even make content

average hours of sleep: around 6 or 7!! n e v e r more though

lucky number: 43 and 64!!

instruments: i'm too poor to afford music lessons or instruments jsbddsjknfs

what am i wearing: a grey shirt and nothing on my bottom half so my [redacted] is hanging tf out, i should put on some damn clothes

dream job:  oooo uhhh, i’m studying to get an education degree rn because i’d love to teach children (around grade 3-4s preferably because i'm too jittery to handle anyone younger and older kids probs won't listen to me as much as i lack plenty of assertiveness), but!! i’d honestly love to be a musician, one of those underground ones that get lots of critical acclaim

dream trip: one day i wanna gather up some friends and just go on a road trip! idm where we go to, as long as we just have fun and just! adventure!

favourite foods: rare steak, mashed potatoes, eggs, and energy shakes made with like. fruit / cheese / yoghurt / oats / chia seeds ! protein is a large part of my diet

nationality: new zealand, but living in australia

favourite song right now: best part | daniel caesar // h.e.r - gosh i need to re-listen to daniel’s album again, i don’t remember this beautiful song being there and that’s a crime

@damndesi / @novarebel / @luciform-philogynist

APPEARANCE - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo (but I am getting a tā moko in December, I believe) - I have at least one piercing (planning to get a nose ring, like a bull!) - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined (b a r e l y) - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (barely) - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing math in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol (tastes like shit) - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite bands concerts

MY LIFE - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live relatively close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone (do fractures count?) - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages (not fluently) - I have made a new friend in the past year

@smstransformers

age: 16

birthplace: auckland, nz

current time: 4:19 pm rn!!!

drink you last had: i just skulled half a liter of water whoops

favourite song: jesus etc. | wilco if we're talking abt an all-time favourite

grossest memory: accidentally swallowing a bee when i was seven years old (somehow nothing bad happened?)

horror, yes or no: not unless it’s an incredibly tame horror t b h, my threshold for scariness is very low

in love: i believe so!

jealous of people: lots of times, over really dumb things

love by first sight or should I walk by again: i believe that infatuation can exist at first sight but true love not so much. wish that could happen tho :C

middle name: shane!

siblings: my sister is eight years old, and my brother is seven!

one wish: EZ, make my anxiety disappear, i’d have a much more productive life

song i last sang: jupiter | haiku hands

time i woke up: 7:13, woke up immediately because i usually like to wake at 6:30

underwear colour: blue + purble

vacation destination: auckland / kingston / sydney!

worst habit: not remembering to make my goddamn bed, it looks like garbage

favourite food: mashed potatoes….

zodiac sign: sagittarius !!!

@alyonian

relationship status:

at the moment i’m single! and while being in a relationship sounds brilliant, the last two relationships i was involved in? didn’t work out to say the least, lucky i’m still young

favourite colour:

it’s been emerald green for the longest time but orange seems to be dethroning it at a steady pace

lipstick or chapstick:

i haven’t used chapstick since i was six but i probably should use it again, water is my substitute rn fdghdgh - and i haven’t ever used lipstick in any capacity? so i’d have to go with the former

last song i listened to:

the space traveller’s lullaby | kamasi washington - i’m trying to get through his second album rn (i left off on the second disk yesterday) and while everything he makes is undeniably amazing, it’s? a three hour album? i don’t have the attention span for his spiritual jazz, as great as it is

last movie:

monsters inc is playing on the television right now, i’ll go with that! the animation aged kinda badly but it’s still such a fun movie! sidenote: james p. sullivan? a childhood crush, so this gives me memories

top 3 tv shows/podcasts/comics:

i rarely, if ever, venture into these forms of media but! if i had to answer, i’d say;

unbreakable kimmy schmidt / parks & recreation / luke cage

taz / mbmbam (i havent like. watched a full episode of either but they seem cool,)

tf idw / …………. yeah that’s it, i’ve never read anything else. probably should!

additional favs:

my friends, writing (in theory), listening to video essays, learning music theory + instruments and understanding audio production software

top 3 bands / artists:

HHH okay if i had to limit my choices to just three artists, uh. lorde, the mountain goats, and sophie. i couldnt even fit janelle in i hate th is

----------------------------------

@alyonian

color(s): light colors are always nice and pleasant, though anything peachy and sandy are the best! orange (specially pastel orange) is like. the best thing

last band t-shirt i bought: usually merchandising is very expensive and i dont have the money to accommodate that, but like. i do recall having a wiggles shirt when i was five. i wore it all the time, shjdjgsksd im sure that counts

last band i saw live: i almost went to splendor in the grass last year with family, which wasn't only cool since i’ve never been out of the state since i immigrated - the festival was in queensland, which is around a two hour flight from victoria - but the lineup was pretty fuckin lit too! the xx, haim, peking duk, tash sultana, future islands, vallis alps, a.b original,, i was p excited! unfortunately my uncle fell ill and so they had to give the tickets to extended family :( otherwise, i haven't been to a single concert in my life

last song i listened to: street fighter mas | kamasi washington - up to this song on the album and i really fuckin dig this! also the video is hypnotizing

last movie i watched: monsters inc is about to finish and up next is monsters university! which like…. honestly, this is an extremely unpopular opinion but, i like it just as much as the original? my opinion might be skewed because i’m a monster [hugger], but i like everything abt the movie! except for the finale of the scare games and the last five minutes of the movie, both were just. dreadful.

last three tv shows i watched: if aggretsuko counts that’s the last series i watched of my own volition, which is a miracle in itself considering that’s legit only the second anime i’ve watched to completion (the first being shirokuma cafe, which i probably need to re-watch). otherwise, the last two shows i had beared witness to were thirteen reasons why and queer eye bc my cousin put them on! that first show i could completely do without but queer eye is iconique

last 3 characters i identified with: grimlock (legit. all of them), urdnot grunt (mass effect) and vector the crocodile (sth), i’m not sure what this says about me other than Big

book(s) i’m currently reading: i’m reading ‘maus’ by art spiegelman at the moment, for the third time i believe? i believe my classmates are supposed to be writing an essay on this next term and shit, this novel is heartbreaking, i haven't been this emotional when reading a book than… ever, really. it’s a recommendation of the highest caliber

@victorion

name: leon / lionel, i picked up the second name because i was in a server with an admin that was also a Leon™

nickname: besides ‘Big Gay’ i also have the nickname ‘lemon lion’ which is! nice!!

zodiac sign: archer man

height: Tall™

language(s) spoken: english / some maori + italian

fav fruit: watermelons (only when in season)

fav scent: the smell of a freezer tbh? it just smells Nice i don’t know how to properly explain it

fav season: spring! the breezes are welcoming without being overbearingly freezing

fav color: ornge,,,,

fav animal: SHARKS + CROCS + FERRETS

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea! with some milk tho

average hrs of sleep: too little

fav fictional character: One character?????? uhhhhhhh……. like. biggest cc right now is either idw skids or oz from monster prom

no. of blankets you sleep with: depending on my mood but i’d say the average is like, 3??

fav songs: i quickly whipped up some songs i listen to

fav artists: i came to the realization that i like acts that are considered ‘bad’ like maroon 5/drake/lil yachty etc in specific doses… i wouldn't call them good yet, but! i have no beef and thats good

fav books: remember ‘where the wild things are’??? that shit was like. literal childhood, man.. :happytears: i really need to look for a copy again

@thonany-klieme

name: leon / lionel, interchangeable really

gender: male, im probs an nb guy

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1

sexuality: gay??? im not sure, im mostly attracted to other guys but i have had very brief crushes on girls + nb people? sexuality’s confusing so im gonna just latch to the gaybel (gay label) for now

lock screen image: its the album cover of 1992 deluxe by princess nokia, tho it was “T Hanos” a few days ago since i change it often - my home screen is venom but his torso says ‘fuck machine’

ever had a crush on a teacher: no??

where do you see yourself in ten years: ideally i’m teaching kids math n english, realistically i’m probably going down with the political climate

if you could go anywhere, where would you go: new zealand!! or the netherlands

what was your favorite halloween costume: halloween is not big at all where i live, the only time i tried trick or treating was when i was like 7?? i threw a bedsheet on myself and pretended to be a ghost, though since there were no eyeholes + the sheet was blue, it looked more like i was just a moving lump

last kiss: never had one

have you ever been to las vegas: nah and i dont plan to?? how do you handle regular days of 40C wtf

favorite pair of shoes: i have this pair of jandals that ive worn for a fair bit longer than my other pair of shoes, tho i only wear them in summer + very warm nights

favorite book: ngl its. ‘the very hungry caterpillar’ by eric carle. i just, love it alot and i cant explain w h y

[1800-seungshine]

in locked with you.

member: park woojin genre(s): high school!au, fluff, crush!woojin summary: with it being halloween, you suddenly regret being the last person to remain at school and what more luck is that you’re locked in the classroom. fear not, you’re not alone; your crush is there too. (requested - bullet point format) word count: 1.7k

note: wow am i whipped for woojin or is it all of you? i think it’s both lmao but this is another requested scenario by an anon! this is to commemorate an event that i don't actually partake in but i might as well lowkey celebrate it by writing about it..??? heheheh. it's actually halloween now here in australia so imma write this as quick as possible lmao - to those trick or treating, have fun and stay safe!!

p.s thank you to the anon that requested this! it means a lot < 33

halloween - the greatest time of the year for pranksters and outright mischievous

your school loveessss halloween

even to the extent where the principal allows the student committee to put decorations on and let the students come as anything they want 

ofc you didn’t wanna miss out on the fun 

so you dressed up as that one thicc sausage bun which will be forever missed (halloweiner anyone?? ok that was lame)

rip snapchat hotdog :’((((

the entire day was fun and filled with so much laughter that you were sure your day was gonna be 100% l i t 

you had dance club meetings that you had to attend but it was mainly dance captain!ong talking about preparations for upcoming events so it was all chill 

and eventually by the time you were fully aware, it became evening 

so you went to the toilets to change into casual clothes 

bc would you really wear a hotdog suit during the evening, or in general public (i mean i would cough)

usually you would have your best friend with you whenever club meetings ended late 

but she was absent and all your fellow club mates have gone to dog you so you were basically the only person in the school 

you thought of all the horror movies you watched alone and the possibility of them coming true to life 

wrong move, you freaked yourself out 

what’s even better is that you left the rest of your things in the classroom where the meeting was held 

so you walked to that classroom as quickly as possible, already planning to grab your things and jet straight away

bc not today demons. not today. (totes not a bts reference) 

but when you entered the classroom, there’s this guy crouching down looking for something 

"oH MY GOD! WHAT THE-”

so you let out a yelp and he jumps in shock

the said guy then looks up 

and you instantly shut your gaping mouth 

cos it’s park woojin 

your crush and fellow dance club member 

but step aside feelings, he scared the heck outta you and he needs to hear a piece of your mind

“s-sorry! did i scare you??”

you see that worried and overall shook look on his face 

aannnnnddd nevermind he’s forgiven 

bc it’s okay if he nearly gave you a heart attack, the world is a better place and your entire existence is blessed by park woojin 

“no no!” you wave your hand furiously, “it’s okay - i just wasn’t expecting someone in here since i was the last person left. what are you doing here by the way?”

“ah...well, seongwoo hyung told me that he forgot something here and ordered me to get it. so here i am but i can’t seem to find it though.” 

with woojin’s presence in the same vicinity as you, you suddenly forget your plan of bolting, “do you need help..?”

“no, it’s getting late and you should go home - i think i can handle; it was just these documents that he placed somewhere.” 

you shake your head in return bc you’re a nice human being, “i’ll help you besides it’ll be faster if we look for it together.” 

hence the beginning of your search party 

and whilst you were both too focus looking here and there 

the “wind” slams the door shut 

(in actuality someone specifically a guy named ong seongwoo closed the door shut and locked it from the outside) 

you run to the door and fumble with the door handle, trying to push it open 

“ohmygod ohmygod you can’t be serious- why isn’t the door opening-” you start to panic and woojin instantly comes over gently pushing you aside 

he also begins with the same motions as you

and after numerous pushes and kicks, woojin lets out a sigh 

“we’re locked in...” 

now you start to panic even more and you’re just there trying to calm yourself by taking deep breathes 

“i mean, it could be worse right...?” you laugh nervously at him 

but jokes on you 

bc the moment you said that, all the lights immediately shut 

(totally not the work of ong seongwoo)

“n OPE.” you finally say before trying to find your way to the door by touching the handle.

so now you’re just endlessly banging on the door, screaming and yelling; “HELP!! ANYONE??? IS ANYONE THERE?? HELP!!”

the fact that it was dark and you couldn’t see crap made things worse 

bc you were petrified and it feels like you’re all alone by yourself - woojin doesn’t seem to be answering and you can’t even figure out where the heck he is  

(he has no clue how to deal with you when he’s freaking out himself)

“woojin woojin woojin, we’re gonna die and the ghosts are going to take our souls and and we’ll end up in another universe or something and we’ll be trapped forever.” 

there’s no reply 

“woojin? oh my god, am i all alone now? park woojin you dog, i swear on my own failing grades-” 

then out of nowhere you can faintly see the entire room again and you relax as you see woojin appear in your vision, holding his phone as he keeps the flashlight on

“did you just call me a dog...?” 

he’s looking at your face, amused at how you were shedding a few tears and sniffling 

you were pretty cute in his eyes 

“i didn’t mean to, i panicked and i really don’t know what to do and and i should have gone home like what you said earlier but nooo! my stupid humanitarian ass and my feelings got in the way so i ended up helping you. 

i knew i shouldn’t have binged watched all those horror movies last night and oh my god, i don’t even know if i’m breathing; should i breathe? can i breathe?” 

you turn your back to him as you try to calm yourself down and there’s complete silence apart from your shaky breaths

and it starts to get him worried bc you look like you’re close to breaking down 

so woojin pushes aside all the awkwardness and hesitance that he’s feeling, grabbing your shoulders so you face him 

you’re just there sniffling quietly, looking down bc good lord you’re ugly crying rn - this boi shouldn’t be seeing you like this 

but he places his hand under your chin and lifts your head lightly 

“y/n, look at me.” 

you instantly look down and shake your head. “no, shut up i’m crying and it’s ugly; don’t do this to me.” 

look at you finding a reason to not give away that you’re a lot more terrified than you look

“please...?”

his plead softens you in less than a second and you slowly oblige to his request, your eyes meeting his.

“you’ll be okay, we’ll be okay, alright? i’m right here, you can trust me.” woojin softly says to you, “take deep breaths and just look at me, forget about everything else.” 

surprisingly, you were starting to calm down and seeing that it was working, he flashes you a grin

“see? nothing will go wrong from now and even so, you have me.” 

TIME SKIP OF ABOUT THREE HOURS SINCE GETTING LOCKED IN 

now you’re just both sitting on the ground, talking comfortably 

which is a first time bc you and woojin haven’t really properly talked before this situation

in that short amount of time though, you immediately clicked with him and it’s going great

you’ve gotten a lot more calmer than at the beginning 

but only because you’ve been holding his hand 

which he initiated, thinking that it could help you 

even if it isn’t really a scientifically proven idea 

it’s effective though (somewhat) 

bc while it calms you down, your heart is also pounding loudly  

and you’re just praying really hard that he can’t hear it bc you sure damn well can 

it’s now officially midnight 

you’re both beginning to yawn 

next thing you know, you lean on the wall and you’re knocked out cold 

he doesn’t really realise that you’ve fallen asleep until you stop replying to him causing him to turn his head 

woojin chuckles gently, “your crying must have tired you out...” he says to your sleeping figure, brushing a few strands of hair away from your face, “i didn’t know you could be unknowingly cute...it’s charming.” 

he scoots closer to you, intimate enough that your shoulders were touching

and gently, he places your head on his shoulder so you can sleep a lot more comfortably

asdfghjkl im screeching bye

soon, woojin also drifts off to sleep with your hands still in his and your fingers intertwined. 

THE NEXT MORNING 

your eyes lift up as the sunlight shines through 

wow this certainly ain’t your bed

oh wait-

you instantly become reminded that you were locked in all night 

so it wasn’t a dream 

and so you whip your head to the left and you see a peaceful woojin sleeping right beside you 

surprisingly you’re both still (loosely) holding hands 

and the thought that it stayed that way all night makes you blush 

woojin flinches a little and eventually is awakened, turning his head to face you

“good morning...” he sleepily says to you, his eyes still closed 

“woojin, we slept overnight here.” 

“i know...but give me five more minutes.” woojin replies, leaning his head on your shoulder 

wowowow who knew an overnight stay in a school would make you two closer than ever 

yet as soon as his head lays on your shoulder 

the door slams wide open 

and enters dance club president, ong seongwoo 

“wAKE UP HOES THIS AIN’T A HOTEL.” 

he stands in front of you two with a cheeky grin, “but i’m glad you’ve both gotten along really well.”

woojin simply groans, “shut up seongwoo hyung - you trick me by saying you left some dumb document and then lock us in here for your fun and games.” 

wait.

“YOU WHAT?” you scream, causing the two boys to jump 

seongwoo laughs nervously, “now now, don’t get mad - i was just doing it for the lols and besides, you guys are best friends now, right?” 

“oh my god- i had mental breakdowns and i ugly cried in front of my crush just for your lols?! oNG SEONGWOO I’M GOING TO KILL YOU.” 

“NOT UNLESS YOU CATCH ME FIRST.” 

let’s just say that seongwoo ran faster than he’s ever been 

and once he bolted out that door, you instantly followed to hunt his ass down 

meanwhile woojin remains in the classroom until he repeats your words and instantly recalls what you also said that last night 

“did she just say she likes me??” 

[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 97 Poll Results

The chapter 97 poll closed with 1,235 responses. Thank you to everyone for participating.

  RATE THE CHAPTER (1,157 RESPONSES)

This is the highest rated chapter since we started asking this question 6 months ago. Many were delighted to see Eren again and felt that the plot was moving forward.

This is the chapter I've been waiting months for. Flashbacks with meaning. Plot progression. New revelations. Great chapter.

Best Marley chapter yet.

This chapter was honestly amazing, easily one of my favorite chapters. Not only do we get to see my boy Kenny again, Annie is there kicking his ass. We got Bertholdt's fortune telling sleeping positions(bless him). We got Reiner who is so fucking gone, I lost my shit for a second when I thought it was all gonna be over for him. Then we finally hear from the Tybur's and learn that Amputee-kun was Eren(no surprise with that one). Honestly just a beautiful chapter!

Made me more happy than getting a buy one get one coupon for Chick Fil A

Honestly I was expecting this chapter to be another flashback and generally boring instead I was pleasurably surprised by seeing my boi eren and Kenny ~wipes tear~ I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS CHAPTER O

This is the chapter we all needed. Finally, the plot's moving forward, and it's doing so really quickly! Hyped!

We went from "another useless flashback chapter" to "omg Isayama let us catch our breath" and this is hilarious. Not that I disliked flashback chapters, they were great...but THIS was THE chapter.

It's about time we had a chapter that pushed the plot forward and gave us some juicy reveals. The curtain has been down for far too long and it's now time for some conflict. Gimme grim reminder in the next chapter as well as more Pieck and Porky.

This chapter is just amazing. We got Eren as Amputee-kun, Willy Tybur, and a hint of Zekerets. Plus, there's also Eren's letter to look forward to. I feel like we'll be seeing the Paradis crew towards the end of Chapter 98. It serves as a great way to end the volume.

I was so happy to see the plot finally starting to move forwards again. I've loved getting the Marley perspective, but as I've said before, the pacing of these chapters has been abysmal. The plot's been largely stalled for nearly a year at this point, and I'm very excited to see it finally seeming to pick up direction again. 

  WHAT WAS THE BEST PART OF THE CHAPTER? (1,169 RESPONSES)

Things Involving Eren made up more than 55% of the vote. Anny vs Kenny pulled in 16.8% coming in third. And yes, I screwed up. I should’ve made Reiner’s suicide attempt a “best part” but I got caught up in the semantics of it all. I couldn’t see it as anything but a tragedy.

FINALLY!!! WE GOT TO SEE EVEN THE TINIEST GLIMPSE OF EREN.

Reiner's attempted suicide was one of the best moments of the chapter but you only made it an option under "worst"

Voted for nothing in the first two sections as the suicide attempt my favorite  part of the chapter in terms of emotion and character development.

Annie "badass" Leonhardt was definitely a highlight of this chapter, though Eren's conversation just edged out ahead

Eren's character development and understanding Falco's situation

Loved the insight into Reiner's frame of mind on paradis. It seems like he was just as much in denial while being a warrior as he was as a soldier. Neither seem to be his genuine self. Poor kid!

MY SON IS BACK, MY SON IS BACK!!! Also I will eat my left shoe if the whole survey corps isnt nearby. This plan just seems like it has Armin written all over it.

It's so exciting to finally have the plot picking up again after an entire year of mostly exposition and development. Shit is definitely going down at that Tyber festival. Also lets just call Billy Thor because I can't deal with the idea that that is his name

  WORST PART OF THE CHAPTER (1,080 RESPONSES)

What’s more tragic, the unfortunate name of the 9th titan shifter or Reiner’s desperate situation? Rather than include Reiner’s suicide in either of these questions, I probably should’ve just asked “How much do you want to hug Reiner?” because so many people do.

Lack of best girl Pieke

Can someone like... hug reiner?  

Fucking WILLY is his name?!?!?

We thought Reiner's life couldn't get worse. Isayama works his magic yet again.

Willy is a term for dick so in actuality his name is Dick Tybur, the Wardick titan shifter

Blessed Reigner need not turn to suicide, fulfillment is in the self

Willy the Warhammer is even worse than Billy.

Reiner's  suicide attempt was WICKED.

i wanna die almost as bad as reiner

  WHAT WAS THE BEST REVEAL? (1,173 RESPONSES)

The Best Reveal is that we were all correct about Eren being Amuptee-kun. In a series this unpredictable, we take our victories where we can.

Since we're right about Eren being Amputee-kun, we might (should) as well be right with Annie x Father Leonhardt siding with Paradis! (please)

That justice boner being exactly right about Eren being the bum.

Annie and crazy uncle Kenny did meet and were on screen together. That makes me happy. I'm trying to understand Kenny's appearance lol. Did Isayama miss him or what ?

    WE ASKED THIS LAST MONTH, BUT SINCE BERTOLT BROUGHT IT UP IT, LET’S DO IT AGAIN. DO YOU THINK ANNIE AND REINER ACTED ALONE AND KILLED THE MAN FOUND HANGING IN THE TREE? (1,087 RESPONSES)

When we first asked this question last month only 22% thought RBA might be involved in killing the man in order to create a bullet-proof hometown alibi.  With the inclusion of Bert’s nightmares and Reiner’s shady expression, it looks like more people are coming around to the idea.

Why the hell people still think RBA or RA killed that man? It makes absolutely no sense and has no basis in the story.They kept saying it last chapter and it was proven wrong, and now they say Bert just didn't know about it? Really? Why wouldn't they tell him? They always discuss everything together, why not this? That look Reiner gave Bert was just him worried about his friend having nightmares or, if he's in his warrior mindset, worried that it might affect his performance.

I think Reiner was clearly involved in the hanged man's death, but there's little to zero evidence Annie was involved. I think this chapter also emphasized, despite his affection for Bert, how unreliable Reiner considered Bert to be.

'the man who hung himself' srsly the answers right there are u retarded?

I actually think Reiner killed the old man solo and didn't tell Bertholdt and Annie, though I'm not quite sure why he would do that.

  CHAPTER 97'S "HOT OR NOT"

Annie got the most positive responses but it seems everyone is this chapter is hot except poor Magath. (That’s ok, Theo. I will continue to love you!)

Kenny is hot, Eren will be hot when he takes a shower, Reigner is hot too but is also broken beyond repair. This chapter fucked me up, everyone needs a rest.

You much awesomeness in this chapter! Willy is hot af!

I want Kenny to be my sugar daddy

My beautiful best girl Annie is back, and is cuter than ever. I love her. I want her to come back

my son looks like a hobo and I don't know how to cope with this

eren should fucking shave

Magath is making me wet with his humanity once more.

Annie is bae

  WHO WORE IT BETTER?

  LONG HAIR (1,172 RESPONSES)

For the "who wore it better" for long hair I didn't choose because both Willy and Eren look fab

Eren always looked a lot like his mother, but now he started looking like grisha too

The old Eren can't come to the phone rn. Why? Cause he's DEAD

eren became daddy

Eren looks like a pedo-hobo hybrid just so everyone knows.

How dare you not like Eren's hair mom

 👀

  PIGTAILS (1,126 Responses)

Poor Mina. Less than 30% felt like the original was better.

HAT (1,170 Responses)

Thank you fandom! My faith is restored.

THE " OH CRAP I'M USELESS" EXPRESSION (1,180 Responses)

Eren wins for now but hopefully Falco  has a few more years to work on mastering the expression.

  IN THIS PANEL, WILLY TYBUR IS: (1,090 Responses)

I think if I’d included a “both” option it would’ve been a landslide. Next chapter I hope we see Willy’s “I 💖 Helos” tattoo.

  WHERE DO YOU THINK WILLY TYBUR IS GOING TO LAND ON THE MORALITY SCALE (1,120 Responses)

The range was from “Cinnamon Roll (1)” to “Final Boss (5)”. Most people seem to think Willy will end up the series being mostly bad news.

I almost wonder if Billy is a red flag and is going to end up dead or eaten instead of serving as a "final boss"

Billy Tybur is totes gonna be morally ambiguous , like every other villain.

DO YOU THINK THE ORIGINAL HELOS WAS AN ACKERMAN? (1,122 Responses)

  WILLY SAID “MARLEY NEEDS HELOS ONCE MORE.” WHO DO YOU THINK THAT NEW HERO WILL BE? (1,054 Responses)

We are crazy divided on this question. While most seem confident the original Helos was an Ackerman, we have no idea who the new one will be.  Eren is narrowly ahead of Levi. Mikasa and Zeke are battling it out for third. And even Magath pulled in a  chunk of the vote with almost 7%. Gabi and Falco were popular choices. And Jean, Connie, Flocke, Sasha and Hange all got included as well.

Bertholdt rises from the dead and becomes the hero.

Obviously Mads I mean...duh

Pieck (As expected)

Falco will save marley with his cuteness

I really hope Mikasa, so she can be more relevant again.

I think Tybur referred to himself.

It's going to be Magath, but he will be used as a scapegoat; i don't see willy really trying to change the status quo.

There won't be a new Helos.  The idea of becoming Helos is the apple that Willy is using to tempt Magath into doing something horribly stupid that is probably going to get him killed and fuck up the lives of all of his Titan Children even more.  If that's even possible.

Udon, the reincarnation of Borutoruto, the God of Destruction and the right hand of Our Lord and Savior Reigner Braun.

Zofia, the true key character of this story, Helos reincarnated, Bringer of Doom and Savior of the Weak.

WHAT’S THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE PANEL OF ZEKE ON THE PHONE: (1,100 Responses)

Slightly more than half the fandom believe the single panel of Zeke was included because he’s on the receiving end of Eren’s letter.

zeke looked like a fucking 70s teenage girl talking to her crush on the phone in that panel and that is the best part of the chapter to me

Zeke might be listening to the Willy/Magath coversation via a bug, or Magath wearing a wire. A Zeke/Magath plot is possible.

Significance of Zeke's panel is Zekerets

zeke's totally plotting something- don't know what but there's no way he's not. oh and eren pls. the mop needs to go.

I think Zeke was plotting with Magath, not the Tybur

I feel like Zeke being on the phone IS significant but not for any of the answers listed so I just had to say none.

what if Zeke was talking to one of the SC members & said something along the lines of ""He's here"" or something like that? Just thought that would kinda be badass.

  IS EREN IN MARLEY ON A PERSONAL MISSION OR A SURVEY CORPS ONE? (1,108 Responses)

I was a bit surprised that this chart was so lopsided. I think a strong case could be made either way as to whether or not Eren is operating alone.

The "It's hard for me to show my face to my family now" line honestly has me worried.  If the story takes it down this path as opposed to what we expect, then something ground-breaking must have happened during the time-skip.  Eren, Mikasa, and Armin have been through everything together.  If that was somehow torn apart, then so will my heart.

I wonder if Eren saying that he "can't go back" is a reference to Paradis (and he's acting on his own) or a reference to a more innocent past, where they knew nothing of the world and he didn't have all these memories inside him

I'm surprised there wasn't a question about whether or not Eren being there meant EMA separation, but I guess that'll be speculated until we get info one way or the other.

WHO IS EREN’S LETTER ADDRESSED TO (1,105 Responses)

The majority say the letter is for Zeke, but some write-ins include Pieck, Marcel and the Restorationists. Annie’s father showed up several times as well.

This question is Annie's father who happens to be harboring the Survey Corps

Armin and Mikasa explaining why he left alone without warning them

Eldian doctor that work with the owl

I think all these options are possible but I hope it's for Reiner.

I'm still debating on who it is but it's either Zeke or the SC

It could be either one of the survey corps or annie's father. I don't know, let's see in the future chapters ^^

It's not addressed to anyone, but delivering it is a signal to the others "Begin Operation Grim Reminder 2.0"

it's probably Zeke but I hope he contacts Reigner at some point

WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO SEE IN CHAPTER 98? (CHOOSE 3) (1,190 Responses)

The recipient of the letter was top pick with 54% followed by the Tybur Family Festival with 44%. “The Survey Corp” and “Reiner and Eren Reunion” tied for third with 40.4%.

I really hope we don't have to wait too long to learn more about Eren's letter like we did with Ymir. Nonetheless I'm looking forward to future chapters!

I really need to see the Warhammer Titan in action

Can Reiner just be happy for once. Like please

This is it. Next chapter we'll get to see everyone else from paradis whether they're in Marley or not. It's the end of the volume! AAAH!

Damn excited for that festival!!!

Marley final arc is clearly a go now. Eren's in place, I suspect the Survey Corps are in place, reintroductions will happen soon and then everything will get moving. I still stand that 96 felt like stalling, but I totally get it, Isayama wants a big ch. 98 moment and we're getting it.

I really want to see more of Pieck and Porco. PLUS I want to see Porco meet Historia because that'd be an interesting conversation/fight!

I want to see adult Annie and Mikasa, and also Historia

My heart is beating whenever I think about chapter 98.

I'm really looking forward to knowing what the end-game is, and what plans the Teibers and Zeke have. Also, I'm really looking forward to what Eren is up to. I think next chapter is going to be a doozy and I can't wait!

  HOW BADLY DO YOU WANT TO RETURN TO THE ORIGINAL CAST ON PARADIS? (1,189 Responses)

Last month 58% would sell theirs souls to see the original cast. That was down very slightly this month to 54%. Despite Eren being included in this chapter most are still anxious for news about the rest of the Survey Corps.

With Amputee-kun being Eren, there is no reason to want to return to Paradis. The important stuff is happening in Liberio, Paradis has nothing new.

Now that eren is back i think that the story will stay in Marley till the end, barring the occasional flashback

Would like to see how the original cast looks now.

I miss Levi and it's been so long since we've seen any of the main cast.  It's nice to see the effects of the last four years on Reiner, but I'm very curious to see how Levi and the rest of the SC are dealing with their new knowledge, the loss of Erwin, their island without titans.  Please, please get back to the main cast. 

I wonder what is Mikasa's and the others' view on Eren's doings (yeah i understand that Marley is important but gimme Paradis already... please?

  WHICH CHARACTERS DO YOU GENERALLY ENJOY THE MOST (1,195 Responses)

Very little changed from last month. I suspect it will remain consistent from here on out.

I love the 104th with all my heart!! But they can only truly qualify as my favourite group if RBA are included...

  WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES (1,103 Responses)

 We took away the “other” option on this question to simplify the results and  allowed people to check more than one. Hopefully this makes a better reflection of how we are discussing the series.

Thoughts about Reiner

Since I screwed Reiner over in the best/worst question, here’s a whole section of love for him

GIVE. REINER. HAPPINESS. NOW!!!

Plot armoured Titan strikes the feels.

#save reiner braun

Give Reiner some hapiness Isayama :(

That sequence of flashbacks interwoven with Reiner's suicide attempt are some of the strongest pages of this goddamn manga. I was so shook by it when I first saw it that I was left in a morbidly awed silence at how powerful the delivery was. I actually couldn't speak, so bravo isayama.

Reiner deserves all happines in this world

Reiner's suicide attempt made me cry and I've never been any more sad reading the manga..... Suicide is just such a realistic issue in reality that seeing it snk has affected me more than giant man-eating titans ever will

will reigner ever find happiness :(

Man I just really want Reiner to be happy :,((((

Give Reiner some happiness in his life, please ;_;

I hope ReinerxHappiness becomes canon someday.

I feel as if I lose 10 years of my life every time I see Reiner's suicide attempt.

Reiner's suicide attempt messed me up emotionally

Reiner's suicide attempt was the BEST part of the chapter

Reiner's thoughts  about  the  past  and  the  following suicide  attempt  will  fuck  me  up  for  a  whole  month. Please  help  him.  

Reiner was so heartbreaking. But so was eren GAH IT WAS SUCH A BITTERSWEET CHAPTER

Other Comments

I can’t list everything, but I read each comment and thank you for sharing your ideas. Some of the longer comments were theories that I enjoyed but don’t think belonged in the poll results. With some longer comments I extracted a few sentences rather than publish the whole thing.

Willy looks kind of handsome and Falco should stop being a warrior and become a mailman.

More Marley please, more revelations, MORE PAIN.

WhaT iS It ERen?

Apparently, in the japanese version, the warhammers identity was more ambiguous and could be anyone my bet would be the tall guard inside the room. Reiners suicide attempt was depressing, especially if you consider that he was feeling guilty for helping eren improve so much which got Bertholdt killed. Hyped to see what Zeke is up to, he may be plotting with Pieck or something against the Tybur idk.

Eren vs Armin for the final arc - you heard it here first

Everytime I see my top 3 characters (Kenny, Jean, Reiner) they are either suffering or in danger, and the fandom is more focused in others like Annie, Eren or Gabi. Then there will be Zeke with a suicidal, Erwin-like attitude. I always thought that Eren was going to meet his grandparents, but I have no clue of what will happen now. Anyways, Billy is an interesting guy, and Eren has reached Jean's maturity level (after Trost). Let's hope Falco doesn't suffer much, because of his two "teachers". Colt looks like a Farlan figure to me.

The art improvements tho. And i did not know that thor moves to snk u know "warhammer titan" stuff. Nice issayama

I am very happy to see again Eren. He is matured a lot, just thinking about the conversation with Falco. But I am sad for Reiner 'cause it was due the Falco's voice to save him from the suicide and so he went to looking for Falco, tell him that everything will be alright. Reiner is concerned to Falco, he wants to be useful for him but BAM, he found an excited Falco (after talking with Amputee-kun). Reiner can't do anything. He is still alone.

Everyone's going gaga for Eren's new look and I'm sitting here like......ehh..? Seeing Jean (stupid, bratty, Jean) for three panels was wonderful. Zeke and Billy best be plotting. I'd like to see their interactions. I like Billy's character design too, especially the nose and hair.

poll is good but you should do some spell check because you mispelled Tybur as Tyber like 9 times lol

(I know! sorry!)

Great poll, as always, and Billy totally wore wore it better. Also, fingers crossed, Grim Reminder doesn't happen.

FALCO IS A FUCKING CINNAMON ROLL AND DESERVES MORE LOVE!!!!

Reiner's suicide attempt was absolutely haunting. The fact that he didn't hesitate as he loaded up the rifle (Even though doing so would consume a lot of time that could be used to be like 'Wait what am I doing'), the way it was interwoven into the flashbacks (made it seem that everything just piled and piled on him until finally he couldn't take it anymore), the fact that Reiner didn't seem to be thinking about anyone until Falco showed up outside (and that he seemed to only be motivated to live due to the Titan shifter candidates, which would imply a lot about his current connection to his mom ;_;). That shit left me in emotional pain for two days, not even joking. 

the Reiner/Eren parallels reminded me of their fairly friendly dynamic during their 104th days and gave credence to my mini-theory that Reiner asked Eren to come with him and Bertholdt because he was sentimental ;_;. 

"Deer Isayama Reiner is reindeer Jean is horse Conny is monkey Armin is rabbit Zeke has zekerets And Pieck is exactly right"

I just want to hug Reiner, telling him "it's just two more years, come on, you can do it. Help the younglings and then you'll meet Bert again". Plus, I really really hope that Isayama is showing us a lot of Annie to hint she's soon getting out of that f***ing crystal!

Finally a decent chapter; we have the plot moving forward with the Teiber-Magath convo and the Eren reveal, we have some nice flashbacks and also some character development (Eren maturing and Reiner hitting rock bottom :'( ). The pacing was great, not too much focus on one single thing like last chapter.

Eren is Daddy now and that's all my mind had been able to thoroughly process with this chapter. 

Friendship between Reiner and Bertl was strong in this one. I want... MORE. I would also like some back story on the berb turtle please thanks bye

I have a feeling that Annie is starting to side with Paradis Island (Isayama seems to keep dropping hints).

No. Annie still isn't going to switch sides.

im crying in the club

grim remind me Armin

Every time the warriors are hurt in any way shape or form a hostage dies, you've been warned Isayama-sensei.

Hoping to God Willy/Billy is actually Vili

Yeah could we stop with these flashbacks of Annie and actually see her in the present for once? Thanks bye.

Willy's nose is suspiciously like Armins. I realize they're all related, but the nose makes me wonder if he's an Arlert. If so, is Armin the true hero, as Eren predicted?

i was annoyed with the marley arc the first chapter but now am loving it & the marley mandem. i also used 2 think amputee-kun was 2 people (eren & someone else) but now idk

EXTRA DANCC

I think it's high time we see Pieck being exactly right again! It's been 2 WHOLE chapters man, I need my feed of Pieck

I'm worried to death that Eren is gradually losing his spark D:

When will we see the concluding conflict of this beautiful series? Who will die and survive?

can't wait for Isayama to wreck us with feels and revelations

Seeing Kenny again was such a blessing. Also, I'm super excited where the whole Tybur thing is going and can't wait for the revelations we are bound to see sooner or later.

Love it when Isayama tortures Annie and Reiner.

I think, Reiner sees himself as he sees or remembers falco (whyyy i'm crying when i see this boy???!!! And I see bertolini and reinder when they still a trainee wth i'm dying. Thank you Isayama). it give me heart attack too when seeing reiner and that gun in his hand.

although reiner's almost-suicide attempt was tragic, i feel like it was a long time coming. it seems like isayama has been building up to it for a while

"Light of of the Seven" played in my head when I was reading the chapter. I bet next month "The Rains of Castamere" will be played instead

eeeEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK

I wonder why Isayama decided to put that panel of Zeke right before Eren gives the letter to Falco. It could have been placed somewhere else, but I think he put it there to signify that Eren's letter is to Zeke (or maybe his grandparents?). But a lot of people think its to the Survey Corps, so... 

How is Annie so much shorter than Kenny how tall is he???

Unexpected turn of events w/the Tybur controlling Marly. Such a shock! Isa will choose more shocking reveals. Im scared. The end will be the hardest choice between the lives of one side opposite the other.

I was so happy to see the Marley arc merge with the Survey Corps and pre-Marley arc events with Eren. It really marks the beginning of something new and epic. That letter is gonna set so many things in motion, and now that we have been properly introduced to the holder of the 9th titan's power, things are bound to be more interesting.

One of the best chapters so far. If not the best.

LET EREN ADOPT FALCO

do you think they have sour cream in marley

(This last was comment played out on Reddit and Tumblr . The OP reached out to me and mentioned that they were eating mexican food while taking the poll. Mystery solved!)

[justalittlemango]

Entry #20 - 09/03/2020

Well, after a bit of a misunderstanding that last post was a bit dramatic! I guess to update, my bf and I are perfectly fine, probably better if anything as a result of that. We’re still together. On the night where we decided to take a break, there was a big error in communication which got clarified the morning after, which took a different turn of events thereafter.

So yes, that is all fine and dandy now! Stressing over nothing as per usual. Anyway, whats been up in my life? Well, it’s currently 2am now entering the Monday, and I’m at my parents house still. It feels weird to say I’m going to be at a lecture tomorrow, but I’m still at home 80 miles away! Crazy right?

We was meant to go back to Chelt today, however, all of us got up pretty late lol, which is pretty typical of my family honestly. Especially me, I’m always getting up late. Mornings practically don’t exist for me unless they’re the super early mornings! So yes, we will be going in about 12 hours or so instead so wahoo. I’m quite looking forward to being back, though I have enjoyed my 8 days back here in Birmingham, it’s nice. I feel rather stress-free when I’m here.

So yesterday I was out with a friend from school just because otherwise I would not have left the house all week! but yes, I met up with him and went to the pub for a drink. He was very drunk safe to say, and was a little uh, well, a little close for comfort. He is a horny bastard. Luckily I can keep stalling and never have to fall into that trap lol.

Still, it was nice to be out and seeing a friend. I would’ve gone out more but my sleep schedule this week has been catastrophic. I might be able to fix it tonight by sleeping late and waking up early, giving me only like 5 hours of sleep or so. Meaning I will fall asleep earlier in the day! just in time for the uni week to start! 

I also did my own hair today. I was quite proud of myself, because I also expected that to look rather catastrophic! however, I did quite a splendid job. No idea why I turned so posho there. Watching a lot of YouTube, playing a lot of Splatoon and chilling with my parents in the evenings is typically how I spent my days here. Quite nice and chill.

However, past couple days I have been worrying about money. As a student, I’m really fucking bad with money as I don’t really get much at all. I have been lucky to have my bf who has been helping me pay my way with like food shopping and bills, and that’s pretty much all I’ve been spending money on honestly.. I don’t think I will be taking the bus to uni for the rest of the semester as I can’t really afford it now, and I’m glad I was able to do my haircut myself and saved myself £15 there, yay!

But I’ve been worrying, stressing and not being able to sleep because I can’t stop thinking about freakin money dude. Like, I am on a £2000 overdraft, that my bank is expecting me to pay back (by £500 each year until I’m clear starting from August) - this is because they think I have graduated! I have not graduated! It is because my first uni attempt in 2016, and I would’ve graduated by now but no! I am in my first year again so I really need to speak to my bank about getting that sorted. If they can put me back on a student account and change me to a graduate account when I actually graduate, then that would be a huge sigh of relief for me. However, not giving up my hopes too much.

I tried looking up “work from home” jobs which of course give you results that sound too good to be true, and honestly, if it seems too good to be true, then it is. I signed up for this site that I guess gathers like offers and rewards for people, and if you do like 20 of them then you’ll get paid. You get paid like £60 or so. However, there’s a pretty big catch on it. Some offers require you to have a 7-day trial, completely free, and then the site will give you £5 as a reward. Sounds good right? Nope! Not until you realise that you won’t get the reward until you complete the full trial, where you will then be charged the normal price for the service, which actually ends up being more expensive than the freakin reward!! So yeah, you are losing out on money. I am glad I didn’t invest much in this site. I knew it was a little sketchy but now it’s clearer. Sneaky. This is why y’all should read T&C’s on these dodgy ass sites!!

So I thought I could get a small amount of money from that, but I think I give up with it. In all fairness, I don’t know why I’m stressing about money anyway since as a student there’s really not much I can do rn. Especially at this time of year where I’ve almost finished the year. I’m 2 months away from finishing and then back in Bham for like 3-4 months. I better hope I can find some part time job during the summer so I can at least have some kind of money.

My main reason why I am trying to save so much is not because of the overdraft debt, I mean, it will be if they cannot change my bank account back to student, but it’s mainly for going to Canada (if it even happens) I need to save like £1400. It seems pretty far off. And it is. So I am highly doubting that I will be going there at this point now. Even with the cheaper rent next year, it’s only cheaper for the 2 terms so I’m still really not getting that much. Sad!

That’s pretty much what’s been going on with my life. Seems like even back at home I can’t stop stressing about stupid shiet! However, I think I am just going to accept that there really is nothing for me to do. I gotta wait til summer. Maybe if I can save some money from my birthday perhaps? Who knows! 

-mangie

[lindsaynsmith]

Read It Should Have Been You, a Short Story on the Future of Death

Read It Should Have Been You, a Short Story on the Future of Death https://ift.tt/2yJcfcp

Image: Kundra/Shutterstock

[Beginning Log File 0289]

Fuck you.

No, seriously, fuck you.

My collection site hurts particularly bad today and I’m cranky, but I need to focus on you. You, the one with the permanent bag under your left eye after you let your dumbass cousin hack your car and turn the ADT off. Your face slammed into the console, which turned your orbital bone into an assortment of mismatched, razor-sharp puzzle pieces that tried to find homes in the gooey surface of your eye, but it was Shakyra who flew through the windshield and wetly slid down the hood until she plopped onto the road. The ambulance had already been deployed the moment she crashed into the car in front of you two, but when it arrived five minutes later, its sirens weren’t even on. It eased to a stop and two paramedics casually slid from the front seat. The road sensors had already told them she was dead.

You were spared from the full visual effect of her broken, bleeding body because you’d gone temporarily blind in that left eye. But you knew. The paramedics knew. The onlookers, who cruised by in their own self-driving cars, never stopping, never slowing down—they knew, too. But you weren’t thinking of Shakyra as stupid then, not yet. All you were thinking as the paramedics guided you onto the stretcher was, “No.”

Shit, I hate thinking about that. Fuck, fuck, fuck—

[Log file recording terminated. Progress saved.]

…Shit. Calm down. They’re listening, of course they are. They always are.

But back to you. That accident is where my story begins.

When the blood trade started, you and Shakyra just shook your heads and laughed. “White people,” you agreed. But that sure as hell didn’t stop you from slipping into some seedy pit of a plasma center when you were finally fired from your job at Meijer—a particularly bad migraine had you vomiting all over the produce section like some horrible parody of The Exorcist.

You remember The Exorcist, right? I’ve become obsessed with artifacts from before the Great Elevation: movies, TV, books, you name it, I got it, even Dracula, which oddly was a bitch to find. When I can’t quite grasp onto you, I grasp onto those movies. They remind me that there are much worse fates than death…Not that I really need reminding, anymore.

“Feeling better?” Katya asks me, a placid smile on her bright face.

“Yes,” I say, because there’s nothing else she wants to hear. I settle back down on my bed and turn to stare out at the cloudless gray sky. The little virtual assistant console on the nightstand flickers blue three times before the light goes out. Not dead, just resting.

“That’s good. Repressing your feelings isn’t good for stress levels…a little emotional release here and there can be really helpful.” She gives me the practiced stare of a fed-up, underpaid RN, though her immense wealth is why she’s here at all. “Just don’t overdo it, okay?”

Warning heard loud and clear. “Okay.”

Katya Belaya is 115 years old. She’s worked as a hematology nurse almost as long as I’ve been alive, at thirty-four. That was when research around blood therapy really kicked off.

She doesn’t talk about her life before the Great Elevation much, but I’ve overheard bits and pieces during the chaos of shift changes—she was retired, living quite well on the inheritance from her dear old husband’s death, but then the advertisements started coming out in full force, promising eternal youth for the right price. And this fool actually believed it; she’s been supervising dumbasses like me ever since. Right now, her bland smile seems to say, “Who’s the fool now?”

After just ten years of treatments, she looks young enough to be my mother.

This is the story of how you overcame death: You signed a contract.

You’d heard the rumors, of course. Everyone had: Rich old people thought they could obtain the key to immortality by getting regular infusions of blood from young, healthy people…sorry, young, healthy, poor people. Because why in the fuck would you help someone like David Rockefeller live even longer unless it was the difference between sleeping in your bed for another month or living in your car? So yes, you overcame death because you were too poor to die. The moment those bullshit treatments turned out not to be so bullshit after all, the coveted “good death” became a luxury like it never had before.

You are the perpetual motion device keeping that luxury conveniently available to people like Katya. You spend a lot of time in these hospital rooms, these beds. They’re much comfier than anything you could ever afford on your own, let’s be clear. And the staff is just always listening and watching and smiling because they want you to be healthy, pet.

I mean, what the fuck good is your blood if you—sorry, they—let your body go to shit? Kale for everyone. Hurray.

There will be raised bumps amid the corded muscles of your upper arms—one for each side. They’re as big around as a penny, with the mass of a glass marble embedded under the surface. You’ll scratch at them sometimes, when no one’s looking—never in the hospital, though, that would be a level of stupid even you won’t begin to contemplate—but they do not move or compress.

If you were to take, say, a knife—do NOT do this, but just say one day you did—and make a small, clean cut across that marble of tissue, you would be engulfed by a pain so relentless that you’d immediately black out. When you’d wake up, any evidence of your crimes would be gone, save for a pale scar that’d vanish within a couple days.

Soon, you’ll enter your go-to blood center looking to score enough for rent and your car—the demand has gone up. Three times the money. And when the nurse slaps a Band-Aid across your inner arm and tells you you’re good to go, a man in a doctor’s coat who you suddenly, somehow, know is not a doctor will appear in the slim gap between the privacy curtains and ask you to take a survey. The nurse will slip away, as light and soundless as a sunbeam, and the not-doctor will slowly ease into the chair she’s just vacated.

You will remember him well, so well, even after decades pass: the bald head with just a hint of brown fuzz, long fingers and wide palms with bulging veins, beady gray eyes tracking your every movement behind basic black frames. The frames are what give him away—they’re Mykita, which are expensive as fuck. Your girlfriend at the time is (was) crazy about everything fashion. You’ll scoff at the thought of remembering this, and vow to get payback by forcing her to sit through a Hell’s Kitchen marathon.

The not-doctor has other plans. “When was the last time you lost someone you cared about?”

Many faces will flit through your mind as an unwelcome wave of longing seeps into your chest. But although she wasn’t the last, she was the most: Shakyra. You watched her die. You didn’t stop her. But you could’ve. You—stupid, stupid, stupid you—didn’t. Why? You won’t know. You never will.

The not-doctor will see something in your eyes, something he approves of. He’ll lean forward, his legs planted shoulder length apart, and brace his forearms on his jean-covered thighs. Stare straight at you. Clasp his hands together, solemn. “What would it be worth to you,” he’ll murmur, voice thick with faux empathy, “to never have to experience that pain again?”

And that…your poor, sick bastard, that’s all it’ll take. He’ll explain, using way too much medical jargon, about what he wants to do—what he wants you to do. And you’ll sign. Even though, deep down, you know eliminating programmed cell death wouldn’t have saved Shakyra, grief isn’t sensible, so you’ll sign. The nurse will reappear with a twin pair of syringes before you’ve even finished the last curlicue on your signature.

“Everyone will have access to this,” the not-doctor assures you. “And for every person you refer, your payments will quadruple.”

But your girlfriend has (had) Type 1 diabetes: unfit.

Your mother? Hypertension and asthma. Ask her to lose some weight first.

Father? Lung cancer. Brother? Bipolar. You’re the dumbass with the permanently puffy eye, but apparently that’s not a genetic flaw, just a common-sense one. You’ll receive marbles in your arms that permanently stop the passage of time, as far as your DNA is concerned, all so you can spend the rest of your immortal existence “donating” blood to people who want to be buried as young, beautiful corpses.

Confused? Yup, it’s true: Katya, the not-doctor, and all the rest of the recipients…they don’t have the marbles.

You will sustain them for as long as they want to live, then stand watch when they don’t.

Today is Katya’s Death Day. She is 137 years old.

She has decided she’s seen everything the world has to offer, so it’s time. She picked out her coffin—sleek mahogany with golden accents—herself. She’s been without blood transfusions for a week now. The attending doctor says it will be any minute.

They don’t say “death” anymore—it’s the “next elevation.” Half her family, just as bright-faced and virile as she was, are drunk off their asses while she lies in the coffin, her breathing slowing, slowing, slowing…a long pause, during which everyone and everything suddenly sobers, stops…and then a wet rattle from her throat shatters the moment and the merriment continues.

I hover nearby; once she’s finally dead, I’ll have a new “nurse,” but who the hell cares. This precious thing, death, is something I likely will never experience. I dream of it, ache for it. I’m monitored too closely to down a container of bleach, or jump off a roof. My knives disappeared from my kitchen decades ago; my food arrives pre-cut. Everyone I knew who was too “unfit” for immortality is long gone. Naturally, there was no fanfare for them. Disability and illness are for the poors, you know. Should’ve made more money, and then they could’ve died in health instead of sickness. Should’ve taken better care of themselves.

You know, like I do.

Katya’s breathing stops again, for long enough that the DJ lowers the music until it’s just a faint pulse in my eardrums—like a heartbeat.

I stare at her softly rounded, rosy face; she’s wearing foundation and concealer under her eyes for her nonexistent flaws and diamond earrings that glint under the light of the crystal chandelier directly above us. She’s beautiful, and I want to drive a stake through her rotten heart.

The doctor leans over and presses her index and forefinger against Katya’s throat. After another pause, she proclaims, “Official time of death: 21:27.”

A chorus of applause and joyful shouts fills the room. I trail my fingers over my upper arm, not even feeling the sting of my nails digging into the flesh, reflexively. I lift my other arm and wake up my smartwatch with a scan of my retina.

“Log file 1076,” I whisper. “Those books were really fucking wrong about vampires.”

I’m being harsh, I know. I’m sorry. This…this is a lot.

Please, before you walk into that donation center one last time…think of Shakyra. Think of her broken body, splayed across the ground. The indifferent stares of onlookers who felt she’d brought it on herself.

Imagine what her last few seconds of awareness were like. Did pain rip through her like those ragged shards of glass? Did she sense her lungs filling with blood and phlegm? Did she choke? Gasp?

Imagine it. And know that, even though it’ll forever haunt us both, I wish it’d been you.

But I’ve gotta go: Katya’s replacement is waiting, and I bet he hates having to wait.

Sydnee Thompson is a writer and editor who’s unabashedly obsessed with all things death, especially when it comes to her speculative fiction, which has also appeared in publications such as Fiyah Lit Magazine and Fireside Magazine. You can stalk her on Twitter @SydMT or visit her website, shadesofsydnee.com.

via Gizmodo https://gizmodo.com October 31, 2018 at 06:45PM

[justafastfoodknight]

i hope that by starting this post i’ll want to keep writing.. bcz rn i’m not too into it, but i know i have to.

well we got our new manager last week and it’s been alright.. she’s cool.. a little too into customer service and shit but whatever... she says she has a lot of plans to fix our store so we’ll see.

but speaking of that... i’m ready to change jobs again. it’s been like two years and I want to do something around people my age and shit. not sure what, but i’m gonna list some options maybe tomorrow. (i’m really hoping at some movie theater!!!!! :’))

been getting really fed up with my manager at the café who i was cool with. since one of the cooks recently had a baby he went on paternity leave for a week and the manager has been staying to close. he rips at me sometimes and like teases me about shit and it’s not enough for me to be so mad and tell him to blatantly fuck off, but when I ask him something simple and something that I really need answered he’ll just be like why do you wanna know? who is it about? it’s the who, what, where, when q’s all the fucking time.. it’s like dude I WANNA KNOW BUT U DON’T NEED TO. and also like I have no shame (as every girl shouldn’t) to let my hairs grow from my armpits and stuff and one time i was reaching for something and he saw and commented on it. it wasn’t like he was utterly disgusted, but more like why haven’t u shaved? and now he constantly teases me about it. and it’s like whatever but today i was like in a fuck u mood and he came at me with the same shit so i was like “fuck off i don’t need to fucking shave, it’s my body and i’ll do what i want. i don’t fucking belong to you and even if i did you don’t have the right to police my armpits and shit. you don’t shave so why should i?” and then the stupid shit reply of “because i’m a man i don’t need too” holy crap I now have no fucking patience to fight about something as simple in concept as this, to him. so I just told him to shut up and i walked away. he takes it like a joke and shit but like that’s the very beginning of feminism 101 and stupid men can BARELY handle hair still jesus christ it irks the fuck outta me. so yeah i’ve been bickering with him a lot and tbh having a shitty time there now. 

the other day i got off of work about 20 mins before my second job so i just decided to sit down and wait it out. this dude at work that got hired recently named Freddy was on break and just decided to sit with me. at first I thought he was like 16 because he’s on the shorter side, but also has a huge baby face... turns out we’re the same age. he’d always work night shifts so i’d only say wassup or small talk and shit but never really knew much about him and visa versa. so he sat down and we just started talking.. like straight up and it wasn’t awkward. we started asking shit about each other and turns out he’s Guatemalan too... which explains his height lol. but yeah we talked out how he came here from there and how he’s in the process of bringing his whole family here and how he works two jobs and all this other stuff. then, as boys do, he asks me if i have a boyfriend. preface to this... i think or at least have a hunch that he has a crush on me because he looks at me a lot and laughs at the shit i say which is entirely stupid or just not funny. I tell him that i don’t. he then asks why and i say because i don’t need one/don’t want one. at this point i can tell that he’s a good listener and i’m the sucker ass bitch who has a big mouth and talks when anyone even shows the slightest interest so i keep talking.. I go on a rant, a real one, about my shitty habits. I tell him all about me on Tinder and my trust issues and not even feeling like anyone would like me in real life, and so on. Mind you, that I wasn’t fishing for compliments ok.. yeah I think this dude is cute, but not a crush really. I just wanted to tell the truth and kind of explain to someone to see if i could get a different perspective. I asked him if he was seeing anyone and he said no, but that it was ok because between two jobs and school, he didn’t think he could handle one. He then told me that I seemed like a cool person and that I wasn’t ugly (god it sounds awful as i type this, cheesy af) and I said thanks kind of and that I was kind of in the process of bettering myself and feeling more comfortable with me (which is true) and yeah. The dude is really nice and easy to talk to and it made me happy, because he actually listened. This was all in the span of 20 mins and then I had to leave. I haven’t talked to him like that since, but I really wanna hang out with him at some point.

now that we’re on the subject of dudes... here’s another one for ya. I’m not sure if i’ve mentioned the dude i matched with on Tinder, but yeah.. We’d been talking for maybe a week straight and then it kind of got boring and he wasn’t really saying anything for me to reply back to so I just didn’t. Then a couple days later he sends me a ‘what’s up?’ message. so i tell him what i’m up to, in detail to see if i can maybe start a convo and i ask him too and he gives me a really short answer and nothing to really go off of.. so i don’t reply again. and prior to this, on new years I was feeling lonely OK, and i told him we should have gone and watched a movie together, but i was sick as a dog by the time he replied and i was like it’s cool some other time. then he told me to let him know when i was free again like next week so i said i would.. but then after that i was like lol nah i don’t really wanna hang out, i’d rather be alone. but i know my bitch ass will start to feel lonely like in a week and do the same shit again. so i’ve been posting movie things on IG and he follows me on there so he sees that i’ve been free and going out. so tonight I went to go see Moonlight and it’s midnight when he sends me a message reading : “Hey so I know you’re not trying to talk to me anymore but I don’t want to give up on talking to you, you’re really cool and I wanna watch movies with you :) I sound pathetic but idc.” I don’t even know how to respond. Part of me wants to say like yeah let’s hang out and get this whole first bf thing over with and catch up on not being a virgin anymore and getting accustomed to being with someone but that’s like almost... not what i wanna do? part of it is fear, i’m not gonna lie. I’ve got major body/self confidence issues and shit but I also love being alone and watching movies alone and just being by my damn self. As much as i say i want someone to do those things with me, it’s like I’m not in the mood to prance around a new person acting a certain way because we only just met. I want to just be myself and not fuck it up. i’m angry at myself for being so analytical about this simple concept but it’s like who tf do i even talk to about this with? I’m starting to think I should get a therapist.

in other news.. I went to go get Pho with Kim the other day when it was raining :;’) (i love hot soup and cold weather!! and we talked about maybe doing a Galentines thing and going to go see The Notebook at the theater I’ve been dying to go to!! and we’re also planning on Dragcon again this year and she keeps telling me that her other friend really wants us to all get together and meet so we can have a sort of squad and that makes me really happy!! 

I also asked Melissa if she’d like to go see Lost In Translation on the 11th apart of a valentine’s day thing and they’ll have kareoke and drinks and a photo booth and she said yea!! so before she leaves I’ll get to see a depressing ass movie on the big screen :’)

I should probaby do an update on TA, huh? well nothing has really happened. I got the hint that his gf was in town dud to him barely talking to me and i was right. they went out and did a bunch of shit in LA nd posted all of it on social media and it was kind of like aaaalright then. I mean it bums me out because he shut me out but then when she leaves he starts talking again ya know. idk i’m not gonna make it a thing to hang out with him anytime soon.

I have a long three straight days of working double shifts so i’ll be burned out soon enough, but i’m glad i got this all off of my chest.

now sashay, away.